To be broken together.

by JustARandomPersonTryingToSurvive

Summary:

Kokichi steps onto the small wall on the roof. Taking his shoes off and standing on the edge. Shuichi just happened to come up at that time. He was going to do the same. They are both depressed and suicidal, so we might as well be that together right?

Chapter 1: A morbid game

Shuichi was going to do it. Today, finally, he was going to do it. He takes his shoes off just outside the door to the roof. Now just in his socks opening the door. He spots Kokichi Oma standing on the wall that prevents people from falling accidentally.

Shuichi wonders if they are up here for the same reason. He doesn't care. “…Kokichi?”

Kokichi smiles and looks over at Shuichi, "Oh, heya, Shumai! Just enjoying the view!”

…

He doesn’t believe him at all. Slowly Shuichi walks over and stands next to him leaning on the edge. “What are you really doing up here, Kokichi?” Shuichi doesn't know why he asked. He doesn't care.

"What are you doing up here, Shumai?” Kokichi smiles as he answers back not bothering to move an inch off the wall.

“I asked you first.”

"Hm... enjoying the view. I wasn't lying about that.”

Shuichi doesn't answer; he just leans on the wall, looking down. He just doesn’t have the energy to push any further. Looking over he sees Kokichi isn't wearing shoes.

“…Where are your shoes?”

Shuichi looks around before spotting the shoes near the door neatly placed. Ah, so Kokichi was going to…

He walks over and grabs the shoes before extending them out for Kokichi to take. He doesn't care. But… “Put them back on, please.”

The wind flows gently pushing their hair and clothes in the same direction away from the edge. Shuichi doesn't care if Kokichi jumps on his own time. He just wouldn't be able to handle the guilt of letting a classmate die.

"Why? You're holding your shoes too. Shuichi.” Kokichi's eyes pour into Shuichi like he is calling him a hypocrite without words. He knows he is. Kokichi knows it too.

He looks down at his own shoes pressing his lips together before placing them on the ground and sliding them back on.
“There… happy? Now put yours on. Please”

Kokichi gets down and sits on the wall as he puts his shoes back on, his back to the city below. "Guess today wasn't my day. Well, have fun, Shumai!" He waves as he walks towards the exit of the roof.

Shuichi doesn't care. At least he can be alone and do what came to-

“Wait, stop! Don’t go!” Shuichi gently, but firmly grabs Kokichi’s arm to stop him.

"Hm? Why?” he turns to face Shuichi, his smile never once faltering.

He doesn't know why. Why? Why did I- he call out to him? Shuichi decides to lie. “You tried… you know? I can't just leave you alone.”

Shuichi's resolve falters as he stares into Kokichi's eyes. He doesn't believe him.

“Guess I shouldn't be leaving you alone either then by that logic.” Kokichi simply smiles.

Shuichi’s grip on his arm loosens a bit, “…This isn’t about me. It’s about you… you're the one who tried-”

"No. It's about me as much as it's about you.” Kokichi says firmly. “After all, you came up to the roof to do the same thing.”

Shuichi lets go of Kokichi and looks down at the ground. He doesn’t say anything as he knows that he can't lie.

Kokichi pats Shuichi's head.

He looks back up at him when he feels Kokichi’s hand on his head, confused.

"How about we play a game?”

Shuichi tilts his head, raising an eyebrow, “…A game?”

"A game! Whenever one of us comes up to the roof to kill ourselves. If the other finds us before yk. We BOTH can't try for the rest of the day!” Kokichi spins on his foot smiling like he just won the lottery.

Shuichi goes silent for a moment as he thinks over the offer. It was definitely morbid. But…
“…Alright”

Kokichi's grin widens, "Yay! Also you can't try when the other isn't at school or is in class. That's just no fun and no fair. It starts as soon as school starts and ends as soon as school ends.”

Shuichi nods slowly. If you told Shuichi before that he'd be caught up playing a literal life or death game; willing? He'd look at you like you were crazy. If you said it's Kokichi who convinced him to. He'd believe you. Shuichi Saihara does not want to live. But maybe deep down there's some hint of desperation that found Kokichi’s game as an excuse to live… just for a bit longer.

“R-right…”

Notes:

First writing uh sorry if it's bad I simply rely on Grammery

Definitely give me tips on how to improve my writing!

Have a good night/day.

Sorry if I miss represent anything 🫡

Chapter 2: A proposal (literally)

Summary:

Children often make promises to marry eachother one day. Its not like it ever happens, so whats the harm in agreeing to one of these silly promises?

Shuichi and Kokichi were in their homeroom. It was still pretty early in the year, meaning there weren't a lot of assignments to work on. Homeroom basically is freetime for people to goof off. He sits there, everyone's loud voice filling his ears giving him a major headache as he observes them all laughing and making jokes. Shuichi likes to observe people. It's fun, he thinks he's a bit better then most since he helps out at his uncle's detective agency. A bonus of wearing his cap is he doesn't have to worry about people catching him staring, the cap providing him a cover. He glances over to Kokichi, boredly watching as he picks at his nails.

“Shumai~ it's creepy to stare at people so intently.” Kokichi grins, turning to look at him.

Nevermind. He has Kokichi to worry about. It's easy to forget, with how eccentric his personality is, Kokichi can see Shuichi's eyes due to his short stature, “R-right sorry…

He hums at the apology falling into an awkward silence both returning to doing absolutely nothing. A few minutes pass by before Kokichi decides it's too quiet.

"If you do end up living... would you want to marry someone someday?” Kokichi doesn't look up a neutral expression across his face as he picks at his nails.

 

Shuichi’s eyes widened. He definitely wasn't expecting that. He’s silent for a moment before he softly speaks. “I would. If I lived…It would definitely be nice to be in a loving relationship…"

Kokichi finally looks up from his nails, “Hm? What age would you marry?”

He looks away staring at his desk as he thinks over the question. He honestly never really thought about marriage. “...25 maybe?"

Kokichi nods looking away in thought. “Ma'k If we are both still alive and single by 25, let's get married.”

Shuichi looks back at him quickly, almost giving himself whiplash as a bit of a blush forms on his cheeks, “Y-You’re not being serious… right?"

“Sure. If none of us have a relationship and are still alive then why not?” He shrugs, putting his feet on the desk.

Shuichi stares at Kokichi like he's crazy. Well he is crazy. It's a crazy idea that he shouldn't agree to. But… it's not like he's going to be alive until 25. “It's not like it's going to happen so sure…” If you asked Shuichi why he agreed he wouldn't be able to tell you.

Kokichi grins toothly, taking his feet down off the desk leaning his head against the palm of his hand, “…Well ok then. If we’re both single and alive at 25, we’ll get married."

Notes:

Thanks for reading!

Chapter 3: Only losers die a virgin.

Summary:

Shuichi shouldn't be surprised by Kokichi anymore. But dame is he unpredictable.

Notes:

DW THERES NO SEX!!! Just like talk of it and implied sex. You'll see. 😅 Shout out to my V card people! You know why we don't lose that? Cause we never lose. 😼

The duo is sitting on the roof together. Shuichi eating his lunch after the shorter male found him stopping his attempt for the day. Kokichi watches as he eats his food progressively getting bored of the awkward silence, "Are you a virgin?”

Shuichi patted his chest choking on his food, covering his cough with his hand as he looks at him, “H-Huh?"

“Just wondering. If you die, are you dying a virgin?” He stares at Shuichi with unreadable analytical eyes watching Shuichi every move.

He darts his eyes away subconsciously grabbing his hat and lowering it to cover his eyes. “I- I'm not answering that.”

Kokichi pouts crawling over to sit on the side of Shuichi looking like he's about to shake the answers out of him like he's a bag of secrets, “What... awww seriously! Come onnnn Shumai! I will literally take it to the grave!” Kokichi whines, grabbing harshly onto Shuichi's wrist bringing them off his hat.

He winces a bit at the grasp, the fresh cuts still hurting from this morning. “Just-” Kokichi won't drop this will he? Plus who'd believe Kokichi, his reputation is infamous for being a liar. “No… I’m… I'm not a virgin…”

Kokichi seems a bit caught off-guard dropping Shuichi's wrist, quickly recovering his usual grin coming back, “Wow! I didn't expect the goodie tissues Shumai to lose his V card before moi~” He leans in not enough to make it more uncomfortable then it is but still- “Who? What? When? Where? Why?” Answer the five W's Shumai!”

Shuichi sighs. It's kinda nice to open up to someone. Even if that person is Kokichi. “…it was just some one-time fling with a girl I met online…”

"Wowww you're so unpredictable! That's surprising! Older? You into silver foxes, Shumai?~” He snickers, his grin widening.

Shuichi doesn't answer. Quickly eats some more of his food, wishing that this conversation would end already.

“I'm a virgin.” Kokichi leans back to his original spot before this whole conversation started.

“…You are?" Oh. Wait he is. In the heat of the conversation Shuichi completely ignored the whole ‘losing his V card before me’ part.

“Yup! Or I could be lying... who knows.” Kokichi giggles, choosing to not watch Shuichi anymore instead watches as cars pass by in the city below.

 

He raises an eyebrow at him. Is he lying? I have a weird feeling he isn't. “Are you lying?"

“No.” Kokichi doesn't look at him.

Shuichi nods slowly, it seems genuine. But this is kinda a weird talk, isn't it… How did Shuichi start talking about losing his virginity or questioning if Kokichi lied about his? How did it get to this point? “Huh. I would have honestly thought you’ve dated before.”

"Nope! Just me, myself, and my hand.”

Shuichi blushes once again awkwardly turns his attention back to his food. Why is he talking about this with Kokichi again? They were far from what you would label “close friends”

Kokichi glances back and Shuichi once before fully looking at him, “Wanna have sex?”

“W-What?!” He nearly choked on his food again. He really wished he had water or something to help it go down. This is a weird thought to mention right now but Shuichi is glad he doesn't have any heart conditions. “W-where did that come from?"

“From my vocal cords.” Kokichi opens his mouth pointing down his throat to emphasize his point.

He just looks at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he’s joking or not. “…A-are you serious, or are you messing with me?"

Kokichi closes his mouth thinking about his next response “Nah, I'm not. I'm asking if you want to hook up. I don't really wanna die a virgin, ya know?”

“…You- you're serious. I- are you sure you want to do it with me?" That's the wrong question to ask. There are a thousand better questions he could have asked. Why did he ask this? He knows Kokichi stopped his attempt for the day but if he's dead then he won't have to deal with the embarrassment. “I mean… w-why?”

“We did say we'd get married if we are both still alive at 25. I'm not going to cheat on my potential future beloved!” Tears fill Kokichi's eyes, “D-does my beloved Shumai really think so low of me…?”

Before Shuichi can respond or even process this whole situation. Kokichi burst into tears, “WAHHH MY BELOVED IS SO MEAN!”

“A-ah w-wait no Kokichi! It's ok- I don't think you'd do that.” Since when has he started to care about Kokichi? It's nothing deep so he won't dwell on it. Shuichi thinks for a moment before talking again, “...wasn't the deal if we both were still single? It's… it's not cheating if you d-do it with someone else…”

Kokichi switches fast at Shuichi reassures. “You never answered my question! Will you do it with me?”

He presses his lips together in a line. It's a bit weird but he has a feeling that if he doesn't do it with Kokichi then from the short time of knowing him he'd go find a stranger too. Maybe he cares a bit more about Kokichi than he thought because he doesn't want that. Besides, it's not like he did do it with… K-Kokichi it wouldn't mean anything. He's done it once just to… get it out of the way. It's just an emotionless hook up.
He glances at Kokichi watching his reactions. He is already staring back. Shuichi quickly glances away, a question coming to mind. “A-are… are we friends?”

Kokichi darts his eyes away not out of guilt or anything just to think. “I'd say so. We've hung out everyday for the past week even if it's just us stopping each other from jumping off. I don't have or hang out with anyone other than you.”

As must as Shuichi would like to say he actually hanged out with people outside of Kokichi. He'd be lying. He's hanged out with Kokichi more than he's hung out with anyone in his life in this short passed week. “...That… that is true.”

“See? You didn't answer yet again Shumai~ if you don't want to have sex with me just say so!”

He puts the rest of his food to the side and moves a bit closer to him. “T-this doesn't mean anything right?”

Kokichi grins, leaning near Shuichi's face, “It means nothing. Just think of it as helping a friend out. In this case it's making sure your death buddy doesn't die a virgin!”

His heart was pounding in his chest as he got closer. He never thought that something like this would ever happen, least of all with someone like Kokichi… "Right now...? On the roof?” Shuichi glances back at the door. Anyone could walk in.

“No one’s going to come up here at this time of day… plus I locked it~” Kokichi pulls out some picklocking looking proud of his work.

“...” he locked the door? Did he- he planned this whole thing? You know what? I'm not surprised.

Kokichi kisses Shuichi.

•
•
•
•
•
•
•

He was laying on his back as he tried to catch his breath. He felt so tired now, but at the same time he really couldn’t believe he just did that.

“Wow. My first time was on a roof. People can't say I'm predictable.” Kokichi laughs, laying next to him watching the clouds.

I sit up letting out a small laugh as I put my clothes back on. “I can’t believe I actually agreed to do that…” Kokichi grins, also putting his own clothes back on.

Once we are both done, I look over at Kokichi and see his messy hair. It actually didn't look that different from his usual hair…

“Well. This was an experience! School is almost done so I'm going to go home now be a dear and tell the teacher I vomited allllll my guts up and had to be rushed to the ER. Would ya Shumai? Remember! I already caught your attempt for the day so no killing yourself.”*

Oh he's leaving. Shuichi nods slowly as he watches him get up. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Notes:

HELL YEA FOR THOSE RANDOM MOTIVATION MOMENT!!! Anyways I'd like to thank our lord and savor, Grammarly. 🙇‍♀️🛐

Chapter 4: A night to remember

Summary:

Kokichi drags Shuichi out of his house late at night.

Notes:

Read notes at the end for a bonus scene!

I tired to be more descriptive in this chapter so hopefully it isn't to much or to little! 😅

I'm trying to adjust and fix my writing as this continues which maybe you've noticed and if so I hope it's getting better an not well... worse. Also yes! I do see the perceptive language switch. I promise that is intentional and I'll explain at the end. 😊 I hope I'm achieving what I want to do with the whole perspective changing 🥲

I'm curious to know what you think that is about? Why do you as the reader think I'm changing it? It will help me a whole lot going forward in writing this.

Sorry for rambling! I hope you enjoy.

A week later.

Kokichi hums a random melody. The shorter male walks on the short wall separating the sidewalk from the beach trying to balance himself.

He rolls his bike slowly next to him on the sidewalk. It's night, both of them snuck out of their houses. More like Kokichi showed up in Shuichi bed unannounced and dragged him outside. The breeze coming from the ocean pushes through the duo's hair making Shuichi shiver.

Shuichi sighs. It's cold. He glances over at the shorter male. “You know, if you fall, I’m not going to catch you." He probably would but it's better that he doesn't have to in the first place.

Kokichi stops walking and turns to face him. “Aw… you won't catch your future husband?”

Future husband… Kokichi has been saying that a lot lately. “I-”

Kokichi falls forward.

“Wha-” without thinking Shuichi drops his bike and catches Kokichi falling backwards with him.

They hit the ground with a thud.

Hahaha…HAHAHAH. The shorter male on top of Shuichi starts laughing like crazy. Did He hit his head? I look at him worriedly, “K-Kokichi? Did you hit your head?

Kokichi stops looking down at Shuichi questioning. “You're worried about me?”

Worried about him? “Uh… Yes?”

He furrowed his eyebrows at Shuichi.
“You're the one who landed on the concrete, Shumai.”

I did? His body starts to ache. Oh I did. I groan sitting up pushing Kokichi with me. “R-right. Sorry I didn't realize.”

Kokichi looks at me confused. “You didn't realize?” His face immediately switches to a grin and wraps his arms around me. “Awww my future husband was so worried about me he forgot about all the wounds he received along the way to me!”

“That's a bit excessive Kokichi…” I rub my lower back. It stings but nothing is broken. I glance at him. “Your arm.”

Kokichi looks at his arm that somehow managed to get scratched up. “Oh that? Hm it will heal.”

“I'm guessing you're going to lie to your parents about those?” I laugh a bit knowing Kokichi he'll probably come up with some outlandish lie.

“Wouldn't need to. They won't care.”

A gust of wind blows through our hair. I sniff a bit. It seems colder… I pick my bicycle back up and look at it to see if it has any scratches.

“Hey Kokichi.”

“Yea?” He went and sat on the low wall dusting himself off.

“You don't know how to ride right?”

The purple haired male waves his hands in the air exaggeratedly. “Huh? Of course I know how to ride a bike! Don't you know I actually won the Olympic gold medal in cycling?!” Kokichi sighs, putting the back of his hand to his forehead and pouting. “Of course… I should have expected this from a pervert like you, Shumai… You only like me for my body! You don't even know basic facts about me!”

 

“I know you don't know how to ride a bike…?”
I rub my neck looking at the bike… sometimes it's hard to respond to Kokichi.

He quickly stops whining and grins at me swinging his feet “hm? How would you know that Shumai?”

“In uh… In class whenever people bring up the topic of hanging out you're fine with it until bikes are brought up. Cars, buses, walking, anything but bicycles you're fine with.”

 

Kokichi stares at me blankly before looking down to his feet slowly slowing down the rhythm of his feet swing. “Hm? What if I just couldn't afford a bicycle?” His voice is soft.

“It's pretty well known that your parents are loaded, Kokichi.”

He lets out a small hum looking at the night sky.

We stay in silence as I watch him as he stares at the seemingly still night sky.

He finally looks at me with a soft small smile playing on his lips. “Ok. Teach me how to ride a bicycle, Shuichi.”

•
•
•
•

“S-Shuichi you better not fucking let me go or I-I swear ill send my secret organization after you and curse y-you and your family for the next 8 generations!” The smaller male is gripping the handles tightly enough where I doubt any amount of force could pry him off. Still I had to suppress a chuckle. Kokichi eyes are wide like a cat staring intensely at my hands that are holding him up on the bike making sure they don't move an inch. For the first time I could read him.

“Don't worry I won't let go until you're ready.”
I smile hoping to comfort him a bit as I slowly start walking us. “Try pedaling ok? I won't let go of you.”

Kokichi nods slowly pushing the pedals still looking petrified but instead of staring at my hands he stares straight ahead.

“See it's easy right?” I slowly loosen my grip as I watch him become more relaxed, his pedaling getting more and more constant. I find a good moment and stop walking completely, letting go of the bicycle.

Kokichi doesn't notice just pedaling and moving forwards. “... This isn't that bad… Ok you can uh let go now Shumai.”

I try to stifle a laugh. “Kokichi?"

“W-what?”

“look behind you.”

Kokichi looks behind himself and sees me clearly not holding the bicycle. He falls.

My smile quickly fades and I run over to him kneeling down making sure he doesn't have any injuries, “I-Im sorry I didn't think-”

Kokichi starts laughing as he rolls over onto his back clutching his stomach tears at the corner of his eyes. At that my expression of concern turns into laughter as well.

I grab his arm and pull him up off the ground. “Want to try again?”

Kokichi's eyes sparkled as he looked at me, his hair seemingly poofing up more reacting to the genuine excitement. “Do you even have to ask?! I'll be at the Olympics in one week with your guidance coach!”

•
•
•
•

Unfortunately it seems Kokichi's dream of going to the Olympics will not be coming true any time soon. As he got bored not that long after instead decided to drag me to the beach. The very extremely most likely going to get a cold beach.

The shorter male giggles leaving me to run into the water only to ankle level. I follow him but stopping on the edge where the water flows up to the tip of my toes and back into the endless ocean. I can clearly see the reflection of the moon on the water, it's beautiful. Kokichi smiles as he kicks water, it ripples around his feet splashing into the air.

My face starts to hurt from how much I'm smiling tonight watching Kokichi so full of life for someone who wants to die. Watching him, the rhythm of the waves, everything feels so peaceful like the waves are washing away all of the pain and sorrow.

Kokichi giggles as he runs around. I watch him. He looks so happy. My chest feels warm. The light from the moon reflects off the water onto his skin making it almost look like he’s glowing. I squint my eyes. Did Kokichi change his appearance? He seems… or…I- I shake my head.

I finally build up the courage and take a step forward into the water slowly as it surrounds my ankles. Ah, that's really c-cold. Out of the corner of my eye I see something fast coming towards me and before I can process the short male running towards me. He jumps and takes us both down the water soaking mine and Kokichi clothes and hair. “K-Kokichi!”

Kokichi snickers grinning at me, his usually poofed up hair now flat. “Wow Shumai! You really like having me on top of you don't you?~”

“W-what?”

He doesn't respond, instead splashes the water onto my head getting off of me.

I get a bit annoyed by the one-sided soak battle and quickly get to my feet splashing him back.

It gets pretty heated as it goes on splashing back and forth but depicts the underlying competitiveness of the both of us. We laugh and smile without a care in the world as we fight for no real reason.

I close my eyes for a second and when I open them. Kokichi is gone. “Huh? Where-”

“Back attack!” He jumps onto my back almost making me fall forward as he clings onto me. “Kokichi!”

“All's fair in war Shumai!~”

All's fair huh?’ I decided to give Kokichi a taste of his own medicine and walk deeper into the ocean and throw Kokichi in just deep enough where he wont get hurt.

Kokichi sits up quickly and looks at me wide eyed. “You-”

I'm out of breath looking at him, my hair, clothes sticking to my flushed face as I breathe heavily. I stare at his surprised expression and start laughing, clutching my stomach.

He pouts at my laughing and gets up, waking over to me. “Fine… whatever you win I guess… only cause that was pretty not boring.”

I nod and finally sit down, all the exhaustion catching up to me. Kokichi pout doesn't stick around for long and sits next to me, his usual unreadable face returning with his signature smile seeming a bit more genuine this time around as he stares at the night sky.

“The moon looks really beautiful tonight, doesn't it?” he leans against me.

Turning my attention to the moon. “Yea… Yea it is.” We sit in silence for a bit listening to the sounds of the waves crashing the wet sand getting in between our toes as the slow and gentle wind flows making a soft whistle sound. I glance at our rather close but not close enough to touch hands. Then turn my gaze to the short male leaning against me. The water was dripping down his skin joining and getting lost with the rest of the water in the ocean. In the moonlight, he looked like an angel with the soft smile on his face, the tired eyes, the moon reflecting onto him. Something about the sight of him sitting there like that… It was making his heart race. It was almost too much at the moment…

Oh… I love him.

I turn back to watching the ocean. It wasn't as shocking as someone would think. I don't have a surprised expression. I don't want to run away. I don't want to deny it. It's just a fact. The truth. Something I value a lot. Kokichi values lies. I value the truth. Maybe I should hate him for being the exact opposite of a clear value I have but… I don't want to. He's more than just a lie, but he's also a lie, but theirs parts to him that aren't but theirs parts to him that are. I want to know not just the truths but the lies to him. Because that is him. I love him. Not aspects of him but him.

“We should go back to our houses, Shuichi.” He doesn't move from his position of leaning against my shoulder as he speaks in a soft tone.

I snap out of my thoughts. He's right… It's late and we still have school tomorrow. Despite that, neither of us moved an inch. Kokichi decided to make the first move and jumped up twirling to look at me with a grin and offered me a hand like he did a couple of weeks back. I take it but it's more of my strength being used to get up then his.

“w-wow it's cold! You are definitely getting sick tomorrow, Shumai. Don't worry I won't try anything since you won't be there to stop me! Rules are rules.”

“You say that like you aren't soaked?”
I raise an eyebrow as we walk off the beach together.

“I can't get sick! My body was actually made in a-”

He starts rambling off about some story that's clearly a lie as we walk. I nod along playing into it by asking a question here or there to make sure he knows I'm listening. Kokichi is noticeably shivering. I don't have a jacket to give him but I spot an abandoned dry beach towel and give it to him. He doesn't protest much.

Tonight was really nice.

Notes:

BONUS!

In text:

{Prince of lies 🎲🎭: At 6:30 am}

Heyyy my beloved! For no reason regarding last night I'll be absent today and most likely the whole week! (´∩｀。)

{Prince of lies 🎲🎭: At 6:32 am}

It's top secret! But since you're my future husband I guesssss I can tell you… but you better keep it secret k? (.❛ ᴗ ❛.) I got a meeting with my top secret organization to battle against another evil organization called COLD (ᗒᗩᗕ)! (P.S. It's an acronym! P.S.S remember the rules of our game!)

{Sherlock Holmes 🔍: At 8:46}

Sounds scary. Don't worry about me, I'm sick and will be home for the rest of the week. Take care Kokichi. 😅

Notes:

First writing uh sorry if it's bad I simply rely on Grammery

Definitely give me tips on how to improve my writing!

Have a good night/day.

Sorry if I miss represent anything 🫡