Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Man-God the Cupid
I got invited on a date by Sara, an archer from a party I began working with a couple months back after arriving in Rosenburg in the Northern Territories, in the Duchy of Basherant to be exact.
We’re meeting up tomorrow and I’m to help her pick out a sword, so I’m not even sure if I should call it a date. I mean, yeah, we are getting along now, but I can’t get carried away thinking she’s interested in me. After all, I’m not a virgin anymore.
Besides, I don’t even have any date-worthy clothes, only this worn-out robe and it’s far from presentable, but it gets the job done when out on adventuring jobs. So it will have to do tomorrow as well.
Surely Sara isn’t getting all primped up, either. The least I can do is get a good night’s sleep.
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As I dreamed that night, I found myself in the white void again and there he was - the pixelated asshole with that cringe-inducing smile. Wait, no. I have that smile. He just stood there watching me, probably waiting for me to speak up.
So? What do you want?
“Not even a hello? We haven’t spoken for nearly a year, you know.” Oh, right. The last time he showed up was after I was nearly killed by Orsted.
And I have been enjoying that year quite nicely.
“Have you now?” The Man-God’s tone of voice was clearly meant to tease me. “Sure, you have lost your virginity. But Ruijerd left you, then Eris left you and now you’re all alone in the Northern Territories.”
Did you appear to me only to make fun of me?
“Far from it. I have come to you with a piece of love advice.”
Huh? Love advice? Are you going to patch up things between me and Eris? Scratch that. If you’re about to give me love advice, why weren’t you there before Eris left me?
“Even if I could have advised you before that, I wouldn’t. You wouldn’t be able to save your mother that way.”
Really? Well, where is she?
“You’ll find out soon enough. Besides, that wasn’t what I wanted to tell you. So, will you hear me out?”
I guess so… I mean, as long as I find out soon where Zenith is, it wouldn’t hurt to listen to what you have to say.
“Well then, listen up. I want you to enjoy your date with Sara tomorrow, but when she suggests going to your room, politely refuse her and give her a sound reason.”
Oh? So the advice is about Sara? Wait, did you say “date”? She’s only invited me to go shopping.
The Man-God inaudibly chuckled and shook his head. “Nope. She’s into you.”
If that’s the case, why should I refuse her when she suggests going to my room?
“Do you seriously think you were hurt only mentally when Eris left?”
What do you mean?
“Have you not noticed in the past year? Would you be able to fulfil your duty in bed?”
My hand instinctively went towards my crotch. It felt numb. Wha…?
“I would appreciate it if you stopped touching yourself in my presence,” the Man-God reprimanded me.
Sorry. I retracted my hand.
Without waiting for me to speak up, the Man-God continued: “Eris leaving you caused you to be impotent and made you distrust any woman’s advances towards you. Therefore, I want you to not try to sleep with Sara tomorrow and instead build upon your relationship with her.”
I wouldn’t peg you as the guy who would care about my love life, I snickered.
“It’s not just your love life, Rudeus. How do you plan on living or even rescuing your mother when you’re feeling down in the dumps over a broken heart? You have to stop thinking about Eris and focus on who’s in front of you.”
… I stayed silent.
“Not going to argue?” The Man-God tilted his head quizzically.
When you put it like that, I do look pathetic so arguing would be useless.
“Right? So go on and heed my advice, Rudeus. Refuse bedding Sara tomorrow, give her a reason for your refusal and build upon your relationship. In return, your erectile dysfunction will be healed.”
Seriously? I mean that’s all fine and dandy, but is that all there is to it? What of Zenith? When will I find out about her whereabouts? Hey! Hey… Hey…
My words left only an echo as my consciousness faded.
ↂ↭ↂ
Was it just me or did he sound pissed off last night? Either way, hearing that I will find out where Zenith is soon and that Sara is interested in me has put me in a good mood. Too bad about my erectile dysfunction though… Still, better to find out this way than before having sex, I thought as I got out of bed the next morning and started getting ready to go out with Sara.
I initially wasn’t planning on doing anything special with my looks today, but after the Man-God’s visit, I began feeling like I should put in the extra effort. That is, what little I could do without looking like a try-hard.
So styling my hair and giving myself, and my clothes, a thorough wash. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to buy anything new to wear before our date and I regretted it after meeting up with Sara in the mess hall of the inn.
“Sorry to keep you waiting. Let’s go.”
She was actually cute when I really looked at her. Petite, with a crop of smooth, short blonde hair and an inviting scent about her. Even her clothes were a bit different. She wasn’t super dressed up, but I could tell she had put in some effort, definitely more than me. Her usual leather breastplate and arrow quiver were nowhere to be seen, and she wore light clothes beneath her usual jacket. She had really tried to be presentable.
And now I understood just how dense I was. Apparently, she was interested in me, the Man-God was right. I suspected I knew the reason for her affection towards me - that incident in the forest. Without intending to, I’d somehow landed myself on her route. But I was willing to try to see where our relationship could go.
It’s not like I had any other romantic prospects. Eris left me, I had no idea where Sylphie was and I was too pathetic to be considered worthy of God - Roxy.
I didn’t dislike Sara. She’d certainly been hostile towards me at first, but she had her reasons. She even apologised for her actions, though they never bothered me to begin with. Knowing she was interested in me stirred internal fear, but I wasn’t entirely unhappy about it. I didn’t have any particularly strong feelings for her, of course, but if the Man-God claims she can solve my erectile dysfunction and in turn my low self-esteem, why not just go with the flow?
“Sure, let’s go.” I gave her a weak smile.
Once I helped Sara pick out a knife at the Remate Store, we surveyed the other shops in the area, which included shops selling armour, magical implements and even a shop with expensive clothes. And by “we surveyed,” I meant “we window-shopped.” The products were quite expensive for us, adventurers. During our “shopping spree,” I couldn’t help but watch each time Sara smiled.
Afterwards, we went off to have a drink at our usual bar.
“Looking at all of that made me want a new breastplate, too,” sighed Sara.
“I think I’m going to stick with this robe. I’ve taken a liking to it.”
“How many years have you been wearing it?”
“Two or three years,” I guessed.
“It’s definitely durable,” she agreed, “but the sleeves are starting to get a little frayed. Why not buy a new one?”
“Hmm. I think you’re right, but I’ll keep wearing it for a bit longer.”
“Well, maybe I’ll do the same, then… but then again, mine is a protective gear. I should probably replace it sooner. You never know what’s going to happen in combat.”
We chatted about the day’s shopping trip as I ate meat and bean soup, plus a vegetable salad only available in the summer. Now that I thought about it, Eris hadn’t been too enthused about this kind of talk. Neither of us were the type to spend much time shopping, nor did we have an interest in clothing. Eris wasn’t terribly gifted when it came to words, either.
This was actually pretty fun, though.
“It doesn’t look like it’s taken too much damage, though,” I commented, referring to her breastplate.
“Yeah, but I bought it quite a while ago, so it’s been starting to get tight.”
“Tight…?” The words escaped me before I put one and one together. Basically, Sara was still in the process of puberty despite already being an adult by this world’s standards.
“What are you blushing for?” She scowled at me. I still lacked experience when it came to conversation, apparently. “Sheesh, honestly, men.”
Even so, I don’t think I fared too badly. Sara didn’t appear too displeased or exasperated with me.
“Ahh, I think I’ve got a bit tipsy. I tend to drink a lot when I’m with you,” Sara confided after a few drinks.
“Really?”
“Yeah. For some reason… I just tend to relax when you’re beside me,” she said, leaning her body against mine. Our shoulders brushed, and I could feel her body heat filtering through the fabric of her clothes.
This is what I think it is, right? She’s flirting with me. Do I actually have a chance here?
To test my hypothesis, I wrapped my arm around her waist. I expected her to be muscular, but she was actually soft and slender. Honestly, this simple touch was enough to satisfy me for the day, even though it would not satisfy my lower ranks just yet. Sara then wrapped her hand over mine and with her eyes slightly moist, she glanced at me. “Rudeus…”
“S-Sara…” Our bodies seemed to press even closer together.
Okay, you better be correct Man-God. If your advice results in my one and only chance with Sara being ruined, I will swear on all the god-killing characters that I will destroy you. Or not…
I decided it was about time to forget about Eris and move on. I couldn’t cling to the past forever. Things with her were over. I needed to start a new chapter and that chapter had blonde hair and was in my arms.
However, I was told to take things slowly. I did my best to hide my frustration and tried to stand up, still holding Sara’s hand. “It’s, uh, getting late. How about we go back? I’ll walk you to your room.”
But she pulled me back down. The moment she did, Sara suddenly pressed herself against me. “I kind of want to talk to you a little bit more.” Her words slurred together a bit. Her cheeks were flushed and her head swayed. Perhaps she’d drunk a bit too much.
“Um, well, shall I order some more?”
“Hmm.” She tapped her slim finger against her chin and glanced up at the ceiling. Then, completely nonchalant, she murmured: “Can we go to your room?”
Did she understand what she was saying? Even if she didn’t, I was prohibited from falling into temptation.
“Sara.” I started, glancing at the table, but then quickly looked into her eyes.
Sara glanced back, longingly, trying to hold her balance. “Yes?”
“I… I’d like to take things slowly, if that’s okay with you…” I smiled at her, trying my hardest to not show her one of my iconic creepy smiles.
She looked slightly taken aback and said in a low voice: “You know… I’m really grateful to you. If you hadn’t come for me back then, I’d be dead.”
“Oh…” My face dropped and I felt a slight pain in my chest. So that’s how it is? Wait. No. The Man-God said she really is into me. But what if he’s wrong? I thought as I had my eyes directed to the floor. “I apologise for making you think you’re in debt to me. Sorry for troubling you,” I said as I bowed.
Sara put my face in her hands to make me look at her and clumsily tried to explain. She was blushing. “U-Um, that’s not how I meant it. I… I really do like you.” She said the last part really quietly but I still managed to pick it up.
Needless to say, I was shocked to hear it from her, even though there have been numerous hints throughout the day. My mouth was agape and a tear escaped my eye.
Huh? A tear? I wiped it off and straightened up. With the corners of my mouth genuinely curled up, I look into Sara’s eyes. “Thank you, I really appreciate it, Sara. But…” I felt a lump in my throat.
“But what?” Her eyes betrayed her fear that I would utterly reject her.
I took both her hands from my cheeks and held them in my own hands. “I’m not ready for a relationship yet. I was… suddenly left a year ago and I’m scared of going through that again. I’m not saying that I’m not interested in dating you, so if you would be so kind, could we take this a bit more slowly so we don’t hurt each other?”
Sara took a minute to take this all in, but in the end she weakly smiled and hugged me, whispering “sorry.” Not sure what for.
I hugged her back and took a couple of inconspicuous whiffs of her smell and, after paying our bill, I walked her to her inn.
ↂ↭ↂ
It was late evening and Sara was sulking on her bed with her knees to her chest and her cheeks flushed from the alcohol she drank with Rudeus only a couple hours ago. Something must have happened with Rudeus, Suzanne thought even though she got the impression that things were good between them after seeing Rudeus walking Sara to their inn.
Suzanne couldn’t help herself but ask, so she sat beside Sara and gently put her hand on one of the young archer’s shoulders. “What happened, Sara?”
Before the blonde girl could even debate whether or not to talk about her and Rudeus’s prior date, she absentmindedly blurted out: “I don’t think that Rudeus likes me…”
The older woman couldn’t help but smile, because she knew her companion was wrong. And she told her so.
After Suzanne’s sound arguments, Sara calmed down, nodded and smiled. She was looking forward to spending more days with the younger magician.
ↂ↭ↂ
A white figure stood alone in a space of pure white, watching over a certain magician.
The figure’s face was pixelated, but a smile could be seen forming on it.
“Just according to plan,” the Man-God said to no one in particular.