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"The next time I order two senior officers into a Jeffries tube to repair an essential system, remind me that it's a bad idea."
Kathryn Janeway glanced at her first officer, who was wedged tightly against her as they lay on their sides in the confines of the crawl space. He was straining to push open the access hatch just above their heads, but having no more success than he had had ten minutes earlier. The temperature was rising, possibly from the unidentified radiation which was interfering with communication and replicators all over the ship and which had sent them to this particular junction to try to compensate, but it was more likely that the friction of their bodies caused the warmth.
"If only we had a phaser..." Chakotay grimaced at the controls on the hatch, which were not responding to manual commands nor to the tricorder interface. They hadn't brought any weapons, just diagnostic and repair tools. And with communications down, it was unlikely that they were going to get help anytime soon - at least, not until they failed to check in with Tuvok in half an hour at the scheduled meeting.
Then, assuming that someone came after them and realized that the connecting crawlspace panel had jammed shut, maybe they would finally be rescued. Kathryn grumbled, "I hate this."
"They'll get us out of here as soon as the system comes back online."
"What if it doesn't? What if they were counting on us, and we can't do a damn thing?"
"Then I guess we wait for them to figure out we're stuck."
"I don't know what's happening to my ship, we have no way of knowing what kind of danger they're in..."
"There's no reason not to think positively. We haven't felt any explosions, energy discharges, or power surges, have we?" It was true, they had not - other than occasional spikes of heat in the tight conduit as they fumbled and shifted around one another. But those might have been her imagination. When he'd been straining for the hatch, her face had practically been in his armpit, and his thighs had rubbed against hers. Now they were nearly face-to-face, not even room enough for one of them to turn around and inspect the nest of lights on the panels which they'd been reading over one another's shoulders. Infuriatingly, the systems didn't show any malfunction.
"Well, what shall we talk about while we're stuck here?"
"Maybe we should have a contest to see who can recite more of the Periodic Table of Elements," he grinned. At this distance, his dimples were unsettling. There was nowhere to shift her eyes away, nothing she could pretend to be looking at. "Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron..." The both laughed at the way he emphasized the last one.
"Is that supposed to be like using sports scores to distract yourself from getting excited?"
She knew the moment she spoke the words that she'd made a mistake, a huge mistake. For as long as neither of them had called attention to their physical proximity, they had both been able to pretend to be oblivious to it. His eyes got a dangerous glint, quickly suppressed, but the damage was already done: she felt him shift, suddenly aware of the full extent of their contact. His thigh muscles rippled as he attempted to put whatever distance he could between his body and hers, but there was simply no room to maneuver. She felt him sigh, his chest heaving into hers.
"Actually, it's war statistics which work best for that. Do you know the serial numbers of all the ships destroyed at Wolf 359?" His voice was hushed and silky, giving her goosebumps despite the heat. Kathryn could feel damp spots under her arms and between her legs that she had not been conscious of moments earlier. Her mouth felt dry: she wanted to lick her lips, but there was no way she could do that with him right in her face. Her breathing had quickened in spite of herself; she knew he must have noticed when his smile slowly faded.
"We could just make a list of our own lost shuttles," she joked lamely. He made a sound that was probably supposed to be a laugh. They fell silent, trying not to look at one another, though of course that was impossible. She was achingly aware of every twitch and shift of his muscles, of his attempts to angle his groin away from her, his realization that she could feel him trying to do it, which meant she was aware of what he might be trying to hide, his sudden stillness, then the increase in his pulse and the pressure which caused him to resume shifting. She wished there were some way to press her own thighs tightly together without the tensing of her muscles giving her away.
At least they were both having the same problem. Then again, maybe that wasn't a good thing.
"Are we going to talk about this?" he interrupted her thoughts.
"Talk about the fact that we're trapped, we're panicked, and we're reacting strangely?"
"I'm not panicked, Kathryn." Damn, after she'd given him an excuse for his shallow breathing and his rapid, irregular heartbeat. "I might even be enjoying myself. Come on, this is quality bonding time."
"More like bondage. That's never been my thing." Stupid phrase, but she was not going to risk using a phrase like "getting excited" again, and certainly not "aroused." Not that it really helped matters any - whether or not he thought she was flirting, he knew how she felt right now. "We're both experiencing adrenaline rushes and the usual reactions to extended physical contact, that's all. I don't want there to be any confusion."
"There's no confusion." Smiling brilliantly, he turned the full dimples on her. "I know how I feel about you, I know how I've felt about you for the past I don't know how long anymore. And I am not going to let a minor thing like proximity-driven lust sway my feelings."
God, it would be easier if he'd take advantage of their situation by groping her - then she'd have ample reason to turn on him, punish him...blame him for how they were both reacting. But there weren't harassment regulations against confessing feelings for someone, and she could hardly order him to change them, especially given her own response to him. They'd done so well for so long, She was damned if she'd let a little session in a Jeffries tube which hopefully would be over momentarily ruin that.
She met his nervous expression straight on and he grinned back, relieved, though she didn't want him to take her amusement as acceptance. She knew she could work herself up to anger, which would quash any ideas he might be having - as well as other feelings she might be having - but it might also be detrimental to their working relationship.
"Chakotay," she warned him, but he was gazing so intently at her, not really smiling anymore. "Please don't do this."
The intensity faded in his eyes, replaced by hurt. She expected condemnation or joint culpability, but he merely said, "All right." When he swallowed, she felt his chest surge against her own. His eyes fixed on some spot just above her head.
"Carbon. Nitrogen. Oxygen. Fluorine. Neon. That's really all it is anyway: pheremones and chemical secretions."
Kathryn could smell him so strongly, his hair and his breath and his sweat and something she could almost taste. Pheremones and chemical secretions. "You don't mean that."
"Why not? You just said the same thing. It's just proximity." Chakotay's arm shifted uncomfortably where it pressed against hers, the fabric whispering like it was telling her a secret. "It's just the two of us stuck here. Would it have been so hard for you to enjoy it just for a minute?"
Their faces were so close. No, it wouldn't be so hard. It would be too easy to lift her chin a little, brush against him almost accidentally.
"What would it have mattered if I did?"
"I would have had that minute. And so would you."
They'd been close to this moment before, but never this close - it had been within the realm of imagination, when she'd gotten that letter from Mark, when he'd saved her life, when they'd been stranded together, but they'd never been in this sort of physical proximity, where it was impossible to hide what they were feeling from their faces or their bodies.
One minute. She could give that to him. As long as she didn't give it to herself.
"All right, Chakotay. One minute."
She kissed him, quickly, carelessly, before she could think herself in circles any more.
Chakotay was so surprised that by the time he reacted, Kathryn was already pulling back. He followed her head's motion. "That wasn't a minute."
Then his lips were back on hers, not demanding exactly but not going anywhere, pressing softly but firmly enough that if she gave him any opening, he'd be able to move in. She couldn't help it - her mouth opened, just enough to taste him, and his head tilted, and his tongue made brief contact with hers. Kathryn felt his arms struggle to wrap around her in the confined space, and wrapped her own around his back, under his armpits. Their lips still had not broken contact, she needed air, gasped a breath, heard him wheeze.
Time to end it. She pulled back. This time he didn't try to keep her there, just stood with his eyes closed, lips shaped as they had been when hers were last in contact with them. Holding something which was already a memory.
She kissed him again.
This time, he didn't hold back. He took her breath away, exploring every part of her mouth his tongue could reach, then letting her do the same. Her hands started to move across his back. It was as if he made a conscious decision to go limp, keeping his arms around her but letting her do all the moving - he reacted to her touch but didn't try to respond in kind. The one part of his body which was not relaxed thrust sharply against her own pelvis when she stretched.
"You're trying to get me to take advantage of you," Kathryn murmured.
"You're absolutely right."
"Don't you know better?"
"Maybe we're running out of air and I'm getting lightheaded."
"Five minutes ago you were telling me to think optimistically."
"I changed my mind. I think we should live every moment as if it could be our last." Chakotay's eyes were twinkling but he was completely earnest at the same time. "We might never have another chance, Kathryn. Even if we get rescued in half an hour. How many shuttles have I lost, anyway? Sometime you might not beam me away at the last minute..."
A fact which had haunted her nightmares on more than one occasion. She struggled not to let her hands tighten around his shoulders. "This is not a convincing argument, Chakotay. It's a reason to put a stop to this."
"I don't want to die without this. I don't want to live without it either. Neither do you, or you wouldn't have kissed me."
She swallowed, closed her eyes, and let herself just feel - no thinking, just her heart pounding and his arms tight around her. She was soaking wet under her arms and between her legs, partly from sweating and partly from pheremones and chemical secretions. If only she could take her uniform top off...she could, but that would leave her in nothing but a tank top. Which would not help matters at all. "That's still not a good excuse for a romp in a Jeffries tube."
"Then tell me what would be a good excuse for a romp in a Jeffries tube."
"I don't think there is such a thing."
"How about, because if we don't get rescued soon, I'm going to stain my uniform?" She felt her cheeks catch fire as he grinned wickedly at her. "You'd be just as embarrassed as I would, wouldn't you?"
The heat and pressure seemed to be coming from all sides - from the tube, from his body. Kathryn felt as though she had two choices: explode, or...explode. Which had to be exactly how he felt.
She felt suddenly detached from command pressure, as if the only possible decision in a no-win scenario had been presented to her. Maybe Chakotay was right and they were running out of oxygen.
"You're right. We can't have that." As she pressed him with her torso, Kathryn ran a hand down his body, making Chakotay gasp and stiffen as a low moan escaped his throat. She swallowed it with a kiss, parting her thighs around his, feeling him grind into her before slowing and holding her still. She hesitated, her hand on his hip. "Am I going too fast?"
Chakotay opened his eyes long enough to show his dimples. "I don't think we could go 'too fast.' Rescue could be on the way at any moment...and besides, I've been waiting four years."
"I thought you were supposed to have good stamina," she teased, sliding her hand across until her fingertips brushed his erection. She kissed him again - tentatively at first, then with increasing passion as he opened his mouth and let her take control, writhing and thrusting into her palm. He broke away first, to stare into her eyes, his expression a mixture of desire and vulnerability.
"Before I can't stop, tell me you want this."
"I want this." Kathryn ran a finger along the length of his penis, enjoying the way Chakotay shuddered under her touch. "I want you. Now tell me what you want."
"I want you to touch me..." Chakotay's hands squeezed between their tightly pressed bodies to fumble at his uniform's fasteners, opening just enough for her to maneuver one hand inside. The tip of his erection was already wet and hot to the touch, skin stretched taut. He shuddered as she flicked a finger over it. Freeing her other hand where it was trapped behind him, she stroked around his throat to caress his face. Chakotay groaned as her fingers traced his lips.
"Close..." he gasped. He didn't have to tell her. The logistical problem of whether it was possible to have intercourse in such a confined space shifted to whether it was possible not to end up covered with his semen when he spurted in her hands. His lips parted and he wrapped his tongue around one of her fingers, pulling it inside his mouth and sucking on it. Kathryn felt a gush of wetness between her legs at the sensation, and took her hands away from him so she could wriggle out of her uniform jacket.
Though he whimpered in protest when she took her hand off him, Chakotay lay still while she maneuvered the fabric between them, trying to cover them both. Her hands returned to his groin. One resumed stroking the shaft rhythmically while the other squeezed down to cup Chakotay's testicles; she heard a faint sound of fabric ripping as his legs spread wider.
"I can't wait..." he panted again.
"I know. Let me - " Kathryn broke off as he clenched his eyes shut. With no more warning than a hoarse cry, Chakotay flooded her hands and the material of her jacket, jerking his hips. One of the major advantages of doing it for the first time in a Jeffries tube was that in the glow from the panels, she had a clear view of his face. He was smiling - the corners of his lips and eyes were turned up even though his mouth was wide open, gasping inarticulate vowels. When the hot gush stopped, he tilted his head forward to swallow, and she watched his throat ripple under the beginnings of stubble on his face and neck. She kissed the off-center bridge of his nose and rested her face against his, enjoying the feeling of his rapid breath against her skin.
"Sorry." Laughing weakly, her first officer opened his eyes and looked up into her smiling face. "I couldn't wait anymore. That one was years coming."
"Must have gotten pretty uncomfortable to sit," she joked, watching his eyes twinkle as he bit back a remark. She started to wipe him off with her jacket, then hesitated as he hissed and bucked. "Too sensitive?"
"Just the head. Give it a minute. Besides, it's your turn." He'd slid his arms around her sides and started unfastening her pants before she could offer a demurral:
"Maybe we should wait."
"You're not getting shy on me, are you?" With a gesture of his head, Chakotay indicated his own undignified state.
"No, I'm just thinking that there might not be any comfortable way to do this." He was already realizing that, trying to get his hand on her without having to turn his wrist at an impossible angle. Kathryn wriggled on his thigh, rubbing through the cloth while they rearranged themselves. Finally she had her pants wiggled partway down and Chakotay had her shifted high on his body so that they were practically face-to-face when he parted her labia and sent a hesitant finger probing in the wetness.
"Tell me what you like," he breathed. No one had ever asked her that directly: usually they fumbled around the first time, using her breathing and response as cues. She blushed scarlet, but with his tattoo centimeters from her own forehead, there was really no way to avoid his penetrating gaze.
"Don't tease. Harder," she managed, and felt him press down firmly, letting one finger circle and then press inside her while his thumb rubbed the tight round knot above the entrance. "More..." It had been such a long time that she was uncomfortable when he slid another broad finger inside her, but desire burned more strongly than the sting. His eyes searched her face in open curiosity. She no longer needed to speak as he began to move around and in and out, making her start contracting almost immediately, in a slow, aching buildup that she knew would have a cataclysmic end. If that hatch opened, her shriek was going to echo all over the entire ship, every single person would know what she and her first officer had been doing in the Jeffries tube. Which of course they might find out about anyway, when she crawled out of here with her wet uniform and her sticky hands, and his. How in the world had she let herself end up in this situation?
"You love me," Chakotay whispered. For one moment she thought she had imagined it. Her eyes flew open to meet his dark, passionate gaze as his fingers continued their intimate caress.
"Oh," she gasped as she came, crying out so that the echoes reverberated around the confined space. He waited until she had stopped shouting to kiss her, though she could still hear her voice resounding in her ears. Thank god they were still trapped. Kathryn panted into her first officer's mouth, mortified and thrilled, wondering what on earth she was going to say to him now.
What came out was, "Do it again."
It delighted him. Chakotay buried his face in her hair and laughed and laughed. Then he kissed her thoroughly, shifted his sticky parts on her skin, and began to rub until she was howling again, partly with pain because every part of her body was getting cramped, but mostly with glorious release.
"What should we do now?" she asked him drowsily when she'd finally managed to catch her breath, and stop him from kissing her face over and over for long enough to speak.
"Why don't you take a nap, love?"
"Surely you jest."
"Not at all. We can't do a damn thing in here. They'll get us when they get us. I promise I'll wake you before they pull us out."
She could imagine the beginnings of claustrophobic panic somewhere at the edge of her consciousness, but it remained there, distant. He was right - they had no options but to wait. Kathryn sank into his embrace, head under his neck, not really believing that she could sleep when she was so uncomfortable but filled with a sense of well-being she experienced only rarely. She was in pain, but at least it wasn't the deep ache she could never assuage herself, and she was worried about her ship, but the weight of command was somewhere outside this tube. When she heard a sound by her feet and heard Tom Paris talking an undetermined amount of time later, Voyager's senior-most officer was profoundly relaxed, her breathing in sync with Chakotay's deep, even rhythm.
"Captain? Commander?" Tom's voice floated up to them. "Are you okay in there? We're really sorry it took so long to get to you, the radiation triggered the ship's containment systems, even though it had already knocked the comm system off, B'Elanna's down in Engineering right now getting it online..."
Chakotay grunted faintly and wriggled against her, making Kathryn realize abruptly that their clothes were unfastened and in total disarray. She rolled her uniform top over on itself and untucked the tank top, hoping it would cover the worst of the damage. She and Chakotay had to move together towards the open hatch until they hit the wider access tunnel, and he slid out ahead of her, catching her as she swung her feet out.
"I am relieved that you are unharmed." Tuvok was looking at herself and Chakotay with a faintly cocked brow. "We believed that you were isolated from the radiation, but had no way to inform you of the nature of the problem." Janeway prayed that Tuvok's heightened sense of smell wouldn't pick up what was all over her hands and Chakotay's, drying in patches on their clothes; she clutched the red and black material balled against her chest, preparing to flee to her quarters for a long shower as soon as he finished briefing her. Chakotay was standing very close - too close, she thought.
Tuvok reported on the radiation, the system failures, the system repairs, then abruptly announced, "I shall return to the bridge to oversee the crew teams."
"Dismissed," she barely managed to pronounce before he and Paris headed for the nearest lift. "Well. So much for worrying about them needing us," she muttered under her breath.
"Don't walk away too fast. There's a hole in my pants." Chakotay grated the words through his teeth, but she couldn't help snorting back a giggle. Had her tactical officer noticed that? She didn't want to know.
"I should make a run for it and leave you to fend for yourself, Chakotay."
"C'mon. I helped you come out of a tight spot...or in a tight spot, or..." They both stood laughing as crewmembers walked past, discreetly averting their eyes as they generally did around the ship's senior officers when they weren't being greeted. She managed to sneak Chakotay into the lift behind her.
"This seems positively divine," Kathryn commented.
"What do you mean?"
"There's actually enough room in here to make love."
They had only one more problem. The lifts still weren't working perfectly, and had been stalling on and off since the problem with the radiation began.
Then again, that wasn't really much a problem.