Chapter 1: changes
Summary:
Alex
GEORGE
im meeting my new flatmate tomorrow
i'm scared about it
Chapter Text
Alex, George - 12:04
Alex
GEORGE
im meeting my new flatmate tomorrow
i'm scared about it
George
Why? I'm sure he's a perfectly nice bloke.
Alex
idk
i built up a trust with logan and i hate not knowing anything about franco (that's his name)
like what if he's a dickhead
and anyways
nobody could replace logie bear😓
George
I still can't believe he lets you call him that.
So, Franco? Surely you know something else about him.
And if he is a total dick, you can move into my flat for a while. I have a sofa bed.
Alex
he's from argentina, he's 21
thats it
George
Okay, wow. I really thought they would give you more information than that.
Alex
its a privacy issue or something
technically i'm not even supposed to know his name or age i just manipulated the nice accommodation officer
which i felt really mean about btw
George
Fair point.
Alex
i'm also worried it'll be a bit awkward as well
like... could the college not stick him in a flat with someone his own age?
it's like lance and fernando man
i will never understand why they got put together but as long as they're happy??
reminds me of the time i asked fernando why he didn't have a house
he muttered something about having to pay a lot of debts and ran off
well
he didn't run
he just walked but it sounds better when i say ran
george
george
where've you gone??
George
Sorry about that
I just had to go help Lewis catch Roscoe
He made a sudden bid for freedom
Turns out he had very clear priorities
We found him in a Greggs.
He was staring at the vegan sausage rolls.
Alex
LOL
that dog is my spirit animal
love a cheeky greggs
George
I personally don't see the appeal.
Alex
that's because you're posh
your family probably did their weekly shop at waitrose
George
Sainsbury's, actually.
Alex
SAINSBURYS
ok big guy
have you actually ever been inside an asda before
George
Yes. Twice.
Alex
how are you even a real person
George
You ask me that like twice a week.
Anyway, I'm off to attend a seminar.
Want to come?
Not the seminar.
But we could get something to eat on the way.
And you said you wanted to go to the library for something anyway.
Alex
i didn't even remember i wanted to go to the library
how do you remember more about my own life than me omg
but yes i'll come, let me get my shoes on and i'll meet you in 5
George
Sweet. You can pick where we go, I'm not fussy.
Alex
even a greggs? lowkey craving a sausage roll now after you told me about roscoe
George
I'll tolerate a lukewarm steak bake for you.
Alex, Logan - 12:27
Alex
logan
he said he'd tolerate a lukewarm steak bake for me
and he hates greggs
Logan
you are so whipped.
Block F1 Group Chat: 14:19
Valtteri
Hello
Has anyone received a package for me
It is quite important
Daniel
Valtteri! Do you mean this
*image.jpg* (it's a very large cardboard package blocking the stairwell.)
Valtteri
Yes
That is exactly it
I am on my way
God damn it.
The elevator is broken
Daniel
Don't you live on the top floor?
Valtteri
Yes.
Daniel
Valtteri, what is this package?
Valtteri
It is a bicycle Daniel
Daniel
Oh
Lewis
Don't worry Valtteri, I will come and help you with it 😊✌🏾
Valtteri
Thank you very much Lewis
Lewis
I'll meet you down there!
Pierre
Best bromance ever
Zhou
This message was deleted.
Pierre
WHAT
ZHOU IS THERE SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW
Is there something I need to know.
Yuki
what did it say
Pierre
I will message you
Checo
???
Zhou
nothing you need to worry about checo!
Kevin
Oh my god
Shut up
I am trying to fix my bathroom sink and I cannot work when I get a ping ping ping
Pierre
Then turn your phone on silent Kevin
Kevin
I do not know how to do that
Who the fuck just screamed
You have made me break the sink even more than it was when I started fixing it
Lando
VALTERRI JUSR DROPPED HIS FUCKING BIKE OB MY TOE😭😭
Nico
It was you!
You made Kevin stab the pipe with the spanner (He jumped.)
Now our flat is flooding
You are paying the plumbing bills Lando Norris
Valtteri
I am sorry Lando
Lewis made me laugh
Also you have spelt my name wrong
Lando
wow so nice to hear that my scream is that scary.
ALSO
I HAVE DISLEXIA
i cant help it valterri you mean raindeer fucker
Valtteri
That is very rude
You take that back
I have half a mind to steal Fernando's fish and deposit them on your doorstep
Lando
wait no
valterri im sorry
valtteri*
please
i'll do anything
just please no fish
your not a raindeer fucker
i take it back.
that was a very stereotypical thing to say
and nobody regrets it more than i.
Valtteri
Ok
I forgive you
Lando
THANK YOU VALTTERI
bless you
Esteban
Bro
What did I miss
I come back from a nice holiday
Someone screams like a goat
Water is leaking from under Nico and Kevin's door
And I can hear Alex singing kpop through the wall
Pierre
ESTEBAN
WHY DID I NOT HEAR YOU ENTER THE FRONT DOOR?
Esteban
I keep telling you to clean your ears out every day
By removing earwax and keeping the ear clean, individuals can improve their hearing, prevent ear infections, alleviate tinnitus symptoms, improve balance, and prevent earaches and complications from hearing aids and earplugs.
Lando
erm
ew
how about no?
i do not want to hear about pierres disgusting earwax
and esteban did you literally just copy and paste that
Esteban
Yes from my clipboard
Lando
THATS ON YOUR CLIPBOARD
poor pierre
how often does you get that @Pierre
Pierre
Pretty much every time he says something and I don't hear it and have to ask him to repeat it
Lando
im never living with esteban then
i never hear shit
Oscar
Can confirm
I've been calling you for about 5 minutes trying to tell you that your Deliveroo order got here
Lando
OH
I HAD MY HEADPHONES ON
omw
Pierre
How are you guys so chaotic my god
Yuki
pierre
you said you would message me what zhou said
Pierre
oh whoops i forgot
Lewis
What did Zhou say?
Zhou
nothing<3
Pierre, Yuki - 15:00
Pierre
he said "it's not a bromance it's a romance"
Yuki
is there something that valtteri and lewis need to tell us??
Everyone is offline.
Chapter 2: meeting
Summary:
Esteban
Kevin mate
Why is there smoke coming out of the bottom of your door
Chapter Text
+44 4312 5648, Alex: 10:20
hello?
my name is Franco
is this Alex?
someone gave me your number because i don't have it
can you let me in please i have all my stuff and no key
Alex
OH
i'm so sorry
i had no idea you were here yet
you don't knock very loudly
give me a couple minutes
i may have still been in bed
Block F1 Groupchat: 10:22
Checo added +44 4312 5648
Checo changed +44 4312 5648's name to Franco
Checo
Everybody welcome Franco! He arrived this morning
Max
Hello Franco
You better not have loud footsteps
Me and Checo are in the flat under you
If there is one thing I can't stand it is loud feet
Franco
uh
i will try not to step loudly?
Max
Cheers
Charles
at least you are not living above lando
he streams all the time
and he is very loud
it is a hard life living with him
Oscar
Tell me about it
Lando
I AM NOT THAT LOUD
your exagerating
Charles
you shout even when you text
i rest my case
anyway, welcome franco
Carlos
Hola Franco
Franco
¿hablas español? (Do you speak Spanish?)
Carlos
¡Sí! Yo soy de España (Yes! I am from Spain)
Lando
oi
remember the english only rule we made
for the poor english only speakers (myself not included<33)
Carlos
You don't even speak that much Dutch mate
Lando
oi
i speak plenty actually
max say something
in dutch
Max
Ik hoop dat je boterham nat is (I hope that your sandwich is wet)
Lando
what a VILE thing to wish somebody
see carlos
oscar is that you knocking on the door
why are you doing that
you can just come in
Oscar
No I can't
I left my keys inside because I thought you would just leave the front door unlocked
But I forgot you're really paranoid when you're home alone
Can you please let me in
Lando
OH IM SO SORRY OSCAR
im coming
Charles
you're what?
Lando
SHUT UP CHARLES
Alex, George: 10:37
Alex
can i come over
wait no sorry
you're probably revising
i know you have an exam soon
George
Alex. Of course you can.
What happened?
Alex
idk
sorry that's a rubbish answer
i just feel like crap and i have no idea why
George
Front door is unlocked.
Block F1 Groupchat: 10:38
Zhou
我的天啊 (Oh my God)
who is that stampeding up the stairs like a great horse
Checo
Zhou, you have very sensitive hearing
I can't hear anything
Zhou
i am amazed
it was very loud
sweetcorn got woken up by it
Lando
yea hes right guys im certain plaster started falling from my ceiling
Kevin
I think you are overreacting Zhou
Nico is a very light sleeper and he is still asleep
Not even a movement from him
Zhou
you all just don't understand me
Charles
please never say that again
Zhou
and you are the worst of them charles
Charles
quoi? (What?)
zhou this is outrageous
i am very understanding
Alex
sorry zhou, that was me
Zhou
it is okay alex
i forgive you only because i like you
if you were charles i would not
Charles
zhou, i beg you to have a nap
you are being very grumpy today
Valtteri
I agree Charles
This morning when I tried to say hello, he told Sweetcorn to scratch me
Luckily she did not
Because she is a nice cat
Zhou
it is true i didn't get much sleep last night
Valtteri
Then shoo
Get to bed
You better be sleeping when I get home
Zhou
okay
love you my friend
i'm sorry for shouting at you charles. :(
Charles
it's okay i forgive you zhou
i get it
Lando
sorry to interrupt
but has anybody seen a lone shoe
i only just realised i went to tescos with only one shoe on
no wonder everyone was staring at me
Oscar
I am in despair. I just don't know what to do with you
You're beyond help
How did you not notice you only had one shoe on.
Lando
um rude
cause i was brainstorming oscar
i was in the zone
oh
thank you max<3
even though it did hit me on the head
Max
I was not walking all the way down the stairs to give it to you
Although Lando I must ask you
If you live on the floor below me how did your shoe end up here
Lando
wait
i was visiting carlos earlier
did i lose my shoe 5 hours ago and not realise until now😭
Carlos
Ay
Dios mío (My God)
You and Charles share a braincell
He has just told me he accidentally put your shoe on when he was getting ready to go out
But he did not realise until he left the apartment so he panicked and took your shoe off outside Max and Checo's door
Max
Checo almost tripped over it
It was really funny
Esteban
Kevin mate
Why is there smoke coming out of the bottom of your door
Kevin
THE WAFFLES
*image.jpg* (it's of two extremely burnt waffles)
Every time I try and be a good husband
I give up
Lando
LMAO
what would yuki say
Kevin
Watch it Lando or I will carry out Valtteri's earlier plan of putting Fernando's fish outside your flat
Fernando
One of them died today
Kevin
Oh.
I am so sorry Fernando
Lando
i would say sorry for your loss but i hate fish so
good riddance
Oscar
LANDO.
Lance
You made him go all mopey and depressed
He says he hopes when you have childen Coco takes them away
Lando
who tf is coco
Carlos
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coco_(folklore)
Lando
NANDO WTF
Oscar
Deserved
You mocked his fish dying
Lando
fuck u all
my children will not be taken
and thats that
guys
did i kill the conversation
yall boring
BOOOOO
Alex
george just dropped his digestive in his tea
Lando
thanks alex
don't know what i wouldve done without that information
Everyone is offline
Notes:
sooo
i havent written anythinf in a while so i know that my writing isnt quite as good as i would like it to be, so my apologies if this is a low-quality chapter !!thank you for reading!
(i apologise if the translations aren't correct, i used google translate)
Chapter 3: accident
Summary:
Pierre
I was going to go on a rant about the way English people butcher French pastries but I can't find fault with Lidl bakery
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Franco, George - 16:42
Franco
hello
sorry i don't believe i've spoken to you directly before
but i was wondering if i could ask you something
George
Hi Franco! Of course, go ahead.
And good to finally speak to you.
Franco
from what i've seen, you and alex seem to be pretty close so i figured you'd know
so i was wondering if i've done something to upset him?
i don't know what i could've done but he's seemed pretty downcast every time i've spoken to him
it's a little awkward if i'm being honest
George
Ah, okay. No, you haven't done anything. It's just a long story with Alex's old flatmates, they were close friends so he's just pretty sad that he's gone. It's nothing personal.
He's just going through a rough patch, he'll warm up to you, I promise. He's usually pretty talkative.
But maybe you should speak to him yourself, instead of me.
Franco
i'll try, i was just afraid to upset him more before
well i'm sorry to hear that
is there anything i can do for him?
George
He wouldn't want anything from you, Franco.
Franco
i want to
George
In that case, just be yourself and give him time.
He does love Italian and Thai food, don't know if you'd do anything with that information.
Franco
thank you george
i appreciate it
George
No problem! See you later.
Franco, Alex - 17:30
Franco
hey sorry random question
i was thinking of ordering italian for dinner, i was wondering if you wanted anything if you haven't eaten already?
on me
Alex
i couldn't ask you to do that
Franco
i'm offering
Alex
okay well if you're sure
a carbonara would be great
are you sure you won't let me pay for mine?
Franco
100%
maybe you can pay another day lol
Alex
i will!! thanks a lot
Franco
it's no problem
i'll let you know when it arrives
Block F1 Groupchat: 08:04
Nico
Whoever hasn't put their bin out better do it now because I can see the bin lorry coming
Yuki
thanks nico
ours is out already👍
daniel did it earlier this morning
Daniel
Yuki
No I didn't
You said you were going to do it
Yuki
WHAT
I DON'T REMEMBER
Nico
It's here
Yuki
SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Daniel
Mm very wise
Totally agree Yuki
Nico
*video.jpg* (it's showing yuki running out of the building waving a bin bag in the air like a lasso)
Lando
saved
forever
i will guard it with my life
thank you, nico.
thank you.
Yuki
fuck you lando
and nico
all of you in fact
Lando
i was about to be offended but then oscar got home with croissants :)
byee
Pierre
Did he get them from Tesco
Lando
no
lidls
Pierre
I was going to go on a rant about the way English people butcher French pastries but I can't find fault with Lidl bakery
Lando
so real for that
everything from lidls bakery is scrumptious
ok seriously bye
Max
I appear to have gained an extra cat
Jimmy is here
Sassy is here
But there is an intruder
Who owns cats here
@Alex
Are you missing a cat
Alex
GOOSEY
thank god
i've been searching all morning
how did she get in your flat
Max
Checo probably let it in
He can't tell one from another
Checo
Hey😔
Lando
those were
MWAH
i fucking love croissants
im going to get more
Carlos
What was that crash
Has Pierre decided to try and learn the drums again
Because I don't want to remind myself of what happened last time
Pierre
Listen
It isn't my fault the drum kit ended up out the window and hitting your car
I meant to throw it down to the bins
Lando, Oscar: 08:32
Lando
osc
mate
may have just fallleb diwn the sgsirs
srair
STAIRS
i think i broke soemthing
in my leg.
Oscar
I'm coming
Lando
HA
come
Oscar
I cant believe even a potential broken bone prevents you from being the way you are.
Lando
you love me really
oscar you're gonna have to call for an ambulance cause my car broke down again!!
also i kinda can't get up xxx
Block F1 Groupchat: 08:55
Lewis
There's an ambulance outside?
Is everyone okay?
George
What?
Blimey.
Zhou
is this related to the big boom we heard earlier
Carlos
I thought it was Pierre!
Valtteri
It was probably Lando
Did he not just say he was leaving to go and get more croissants?
Charles
ffs its always lando
Lando
yeah so um it was me!!
ambulance stretchers are NOT comfy
whoops got to go the paramedic says i shouldnt be sitting up to look at my phone
probably broke my leg btw but im okay<3
Max
Jesus Christ
Alex Goosey is back
Alex
I GIVE UP
let them have a playdate max
Max
No she just swiped all the stuff off the kitchen counter and broke Checo's favourite mug
Come and get her back
Checo
:(
Alex
fine omw
checo where was your mug from i'll replace it
Checo
George home
The Asda place
Alex
right
send me pic or the link and i will get it to you
Checo
https://direct.asda.com/george/home/dog-shaped-mugs-set-of-4
Alex
HOW MANY DID GOOSEY BREAK
i was not aware i had to buy the WHOLE SET to replace one
tell me which one is your favourite and i'm keeping the other 3.
Checo
Thanks!
My favourite is the cockapoo one
Alex
of course it is
estimated delivery is later today
Charles
no wonder
it would probably take you less time to walk to asda's and get them yourself
Alex
yeah but i can't be bothered so
Lando
valid
Alex
LANDO
i thought you weren't meant to be on your phone
Lando
number one. i will never let ANYONE tell me what to do
number two. im texting from my apple watch xx
Alex
i give up
Everyone is offline
Notes:
most unrealistic part of this chapter is how fast the ambulance got there. realistically in the uk it takes about 4 business days for an ambulance to reach you☹
Chapter 4: prints
Summary:
Lando
omg hes actually gonna kill me
STOP IT HE JUST SLEEP LICKED HIS OWN CHEEK
Chapter Text
Block F1 Groupchat - 16:09
Lando
guess who has a cast and crutches now!
only sat in the waiting room for 2 hours before i got it on
i had a bed but they kicked me out of it cause somebody else needed it apparently smh
oscar's asleep
HELP
he just sleep-licked his own cheek
got a picture
*image.jpg* (oscar, fast asleep, licking his cheek.)
Yuki
I am in town
Should I buy a frame to put this wonderful picture in
Daniel
YES
Yuki
Please do
Pierre
Wow
What a wonderful wonderful image
I feel my life has been fulfilled
Max
Look at the way his tongue pokes out
Lol
Charles
max
i have never seen you say lol in my whole life
its weird
but forget the tongue
LOOK AT THE HAIR
he looks like a mad scientist
Max
How is it weird
Charles
i didn't say it was bad weird
Alex
LMAOOO
i sent it to loges btw xxxxx
its like the middle of the night over there but he literally read it instantly
and said this
*screenshot.jpg*
Logan
CACKLING
i just ordered a freeprints of it
wait
WAIT
ALEX
STOP I ACCIDENTALLY ORDERED 200 INSTEAD OF 2😭
Lando
NO WAY
ARE U TELLING ME THAT 200 OSCAR SLEEPING PICTURES ARE ON THEIR WAY TO LOGAN
Alex
YES
IDK HOW HE EVEN MANAGED THAT
HOW DID HE NOT REALIZE IM ROLLING
Charles
may he send some to me
Fernando
Hahaha
Lando
ok well that wasnt ominous at all.
he's awake!!
Oscar
Lando
Lando
yes<3
Oscar
Nevermind.
Wait how are we going to get home
Lando
dk why your messaging me that mate i am sat right here
Carlos
I can come and get you
Lando
omg would you
Carlos
Of course
I'll leave right away
Lando
huzzah! we're not stranded
Oscar
Thanks.
Checo
@Alex The mugs have arrived
Alex
oh ace
drop my 3 off will you i think franco's home
Franco
i am
Checo
On my way
Goosey is here.
Alex. You have to put this cat in solitary confinement
What is it doing out again?!
Alex
HUH
franco did you let goosey out
Franco
no? i've been in my room revising all day i haven't seen her at all
and certainly haven't let her out
Checo
Oh my God
I think this cat is Satan
She's staring at me and licking her lips
I see the hunger in her eyes
Alex
goosey is so sweet
she doesn't want to eat you
Franco
one minute checo
Checo
No not one minute
Let me in now
FRANCO!
Do not leave me outside with this evil cat
Franco
all right im coming
Max
Why has Checo just ran back into the flat looking like Satan is after him
Checo
BECAUSE SHE WAS
Lando
my knight in shining armour is here!<3
*image.jpg* (carlos leaning out the window of grey VW golf.)
Zhou
*This message was deleted.*
Lando
ermmm
zhou
excuse me
Zhou
what?
Lando
what did that mean
im confused
what are you implying
Yuki
why is it always zhou that says this stuff
Zhou
cause you guys are all too chicken
someone has to say it
Charles
just accidentally broke your door sorry @Lance @Fernando
Lance
Omfg
What did you do Charles
Charles
leo tripped me going down the stairs and i literally flew into your door
it really hurt by the way
and i think i might've ripped it halfway off of its hinges
:) ?
Lance
NO NOT :)
>:( !!!
Why were you using the stairs anyway
Charles
the lift is still broken
Valtteri
Really
I reported that two weeks ago
Daniel
Underfunded colleges for you mate
Valtteri
I'm going to move out I swear
Zhou
no don't :(
*This message was deleted.*
Valtteri
Zhou you really have to stop
Alex
logan look at what he's been saying 😭
*screenshot.jpg*
Zhou
oscar is crying right now
AND THIS ONE
*screenshot.jpg*
Zhou
unless you're moving in with lewis
Lewis
Alex
Alex
um
wrong chat?
Lewis
I see that
Zhou
ffs alex
hi guys 💗
so!
Oscar
I was not crying.
Over that.
Zhou
you know nobody believes that x
Fernando
Why is Lance and I's front door broken?
Lance
Charles
Max
Charles
Carlos
Charles
Charles
me! :D
Everyone is offline
Chapter 5: here
Summary:
George
Lewis
Lewis
Come back
Please come back
How do I ask him out?
I'm going to replace your clothes with Professor Wolff's if you don't
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
George, Lewis: 12:47
George
Hey Lewis, can I ask a favour?
Lewis
Hello George! Go ahead😉
George
So, I was wondering (seeing as you typically have success in the dating world) if you have any tips on how to ask someone out?
Lewis
I thought this day would never come.
First question: what are Alex's interests? You need a good setting.
George
LEWIS.
I never said it was a guy.
AND, how did you know it was Alex?
I never said anything.
Lewis
I hope you don't mind me saying but it was kinda obvious
George
This is going dangerously further from my main question but how?
Lewis
- The way you look at him
- The fact you really hate cooking but you're always cooking for Alex
- When you lived in his apartment for a week whilst he had the flu to look after him.
- When you lived in his apartment for a week (again!) when Logan left because Alex didn't want to be alone
- When you talk about him (which is a lot) your entire face lights up
- The picture of him you keep under your pillow.
To be frank George, the last one is just really embarrassing. And before you say anything, no, I wouldn't do any of that for my friends.
You have pined long enough.
It's time to ask him.
By the way, nobody looks at you and thinks you're straight. Just FYI.
George
I have questions.
Lots of them.
How on earth did you know about that picture.
And don't you cook for Valtteri?
Lewis
Whilst you were staying with Alex, Roscoe vomited all over your bed so I changed it for you.
George
Okay, ew.
But I can't just ask him out.
He doesn't even like me back.
Lewis
Oh you sweet, oblivious little turnip.
George
Lewis
You're ignoring me
I said don't you cook for Valtteri
Lewis
Lewis
Come back
Please come back
How do I ask him out
I'm going to replace your clothes with Professor Wolff's if you don't come back
Block F1 Group Chat - 12:58
Daniel
Hello guys
Just wanted to announce that yours truly is moving out...
Because I got my degree!
Lando
OH GET IN
CONGRATS
will miss you though mate :(
Daniel
I'll miss you too Lando!
Max
Congratulations mate
Oscar
Congrats
Daniel
Mind if I step in and just assume all of you offer your congratulations?
Checo
Yes please
Yuki
proud of you! hope whoever my next flatmate is gonna be does NOT brazenly engage in shoeys at 12am in the middle of the living room
Esteban
I really want to know what you guys get up to in your flat
Daniel
Well that particular incident I had in fact gotten quite hammered
And also Max had let me have a go at F124 on his racing sim and I got P1 so I thought celebrations were in order
Yuki
he made me do one too
unfortunately i now know what daniel's feet taste like.
Lando
that
wow okay
never thought i'd read that sentence in my life
(what do they taste like?)
Yuki
LANDO
YOU FREAK
(sweat)
Daniel
Can we please stop discussing my feet
Alex
gladly
Daniel
Anyway I move out next week
Thank you guys for everything
I didn't think that I would make many friends here being a mature student
But I consider all 19 of you friends
And really good ones
Pierre
Daniel don't you'll make me cry
Lando
i already am
Checo
I swear Max shed a tear
Max
That's not true
Daniel
Aww
Max
It is not true.
Everyone is offline
Notes:
apologies for the short chapter.
Chapter 6: coping
Summary:
Lando
WHYEVER NOT
yuki do you hate gay people or something
why do j not get free food
bi people are people too✊
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lando
jesus it feels like everytime i walk in here the entire lobby smells of food
who is COOKING all this😭😭
Pierre
It's Yuki
I think cooking is his coping mechanism
Yuki
ok first of all, what do i need to cope about
second of all i just have a lot of ingredients
in the flat
that need to be used
Pierre
Yuki thats a lie
I saw you in Morrison's earlier buying stuff
Yuki
SHUT UP i said that to you in confidence
you've betrayed me
Pierre
Sorry xxxx
Lando
he isnt sorry💖
Yuki
I KNOW
well i was planning to give some of this food to you guys but ig pierre and lando aren't getting any now
Lando
WHAT
YUKI
NO
HOW CAN YOU DENY ME FREE FOOD
Yuki
never said it was free lil goat boy
Alex
lil goat boy😭
Yuki
i am selling my food that i make in here for cheaper than the japanese restaurant down the road
anyone interested
and before anyone like lando tries to pull "but we're friends shouldn't it be free!!!" card then no. it shouldn't be. have you seen the economy we live in
Alex
meee
the japanese is so nice BUT SO EXPENSIVE
and like its marketed for college students too but i am BROKE
like who here isnt broke (lance not included)
you think i can afford all that
Lando
go off lad
you tell them
(but yuki we are friends)
Yuki
ok excellent alex
i will come round yours soon
Alex
cheers mate x
Yuki
i forgot to say
@Zhou
you do not have to pay
Lando
WHYEVER NOT
yuki do you hate gay people or something
why do i not get free food
bi people are people too✊
Yuki
no of course i do not hate gay people
i live in a building full of them
straight people are the minorities in here
but zhou gets free food because he bought me this lovely dragon apron which i love very much
Zhou
🤍
Lando
the building isnt FULL of gay people yuki i think you're being a bit dramatic
Yuki
ok fine. who here is gay.
Kevin
✋ (and ✋ for Nico because he is at a workshop)
Max
✋
Charles
✋
Oscar
✋
Pierre
✋
Alex
✋
George
✋
Lance
✋???
Valtteri
✋????
Lewis
✋???????????
Pierre
yuki why have you not put your hand up
Yuki
SEE LANDO
FULL OF THEM
i didn't put my hand up cause i'm not gay pierre.
Pierre
You have a lot to learn about yourself Yuki
Yuki
what is that meant to mean
Lando
LMAO
fine i accept defeat
Oscar
A moment in history
Wow
Valtteri
Hugh Jackman makes me question a lot of things
Lando
BAHAH
so real of u valtteri
YES I SPELT IT RIGHT
Lance
Won't even lie at this point
Fernando is hot
Fernando
Thank you Lance 😜
Lance
That.
Shit
That was not meant for here.
Esteban
Oh my Lord you're useless
One job Lance
And it was to message the right person
Lance
Ignore me guys! :')
Esteban I'll kill you
Alex
@Zhou Logan wants to know your persimmon cake recipe
Zhou
oh
of course i will send it to him 😺
Esteban
Who doesn't want Zhou's cake recipes
They're all very good
Zhou
🫶 thank you esteban!
tell logan i miss him and also tell him his diy skills need a bit of work
the curtain rail he 'fixed' for me keeps falling down
Alex
noted
brb
he said this
*screenshot.png*
Logan
it falling down is absolutely nothing to do with me i swear
zhou's apartment must be cursed
ALEX I LITERALLY WORKED IN A HARDWARE SHOP FOR 2 YEARS🙏
Alex
mate
you just sold stuff to people
you didnt do any practical work
Logan
SHHHHHH
Zhou
*screenshot.png*
Logan
zhou
mate
i would kiss you if i wasnt across the atlantic ocean
your persimmon cake is the most scrumptious thing ive ever tasted
much love to you🫶🫶🫶
Lando
rip logan sargeant you would have loved mary berry
Checo
Yuki I am also interested in buying food
Yuki
thank you checo
i will be over soon
unless you are out
Checo
I am in Home Bargains right now but I will let you know when I am back
Alex
you're so real for that checo
Fernando
I do not think Lance knows what that is.
He only shops at Waitrose.
Lando
WAITROSE??
posh wanker
Lance
Listen
They do these kiwi berries
I'm obsessed with them
And I'll have you know I do know what Home Bargains is
Fernando
*image.png* It shows 5 boxes of kiwi berries on a countertop.
Lance
Errr
Fernando
Didn't give consent for that to be shared
Fernando
🤫
Lando
oh yeah i forgot to ask this
anyone wanna sign my cast
guys
guys?
hellooooo
Valtteri
I will
Only so you can look down and see how to spell my name
Lando
THANK YOU VALTERRI
VALTTERI*
SHIT
FUCK
Valtteri
I'm on my way.
Everyone is offline
Notes:
TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY?? now watch me not post another one for weeks (joking. i hope)
hope youre all doing well 💛💛
Chapter 7: wingman
Summary:
Alex
well im not in class currently
but im out
having lunch mate🫶Lando
ooh what you havingAlex
subwayLando
OOH BANGING
im hungry now
can i join you
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Block F1 Groupchat: 13:01
Pierre
Franco whilst you were out an amazon delivery arrived for you
Franco
oh thank you for getting it for me
but which flat are you?
sorry i haven't learned everyone yet
Pierre
Ah no problem
I'm in flat 7 just across the corridor from you
Franco
thank you 😅
Lando
anyone know why carlos isnt responding to me
ive spamming him for ages :(
Charles
he is in an exam
Lando
OH
oops
i forgot he had that today teehee
is anyone else not in class im bored
Alex
well im not in class currently
but im out
having lunch mate🫶
Lando
ooh what you having
Alex
subway
Lando
BANGING
im hungry now
can i join you
Alex
sure
it would be nice to hang out actually
Lando
YIPPEE
let me just grab my shoes
Alex
make sure you have both of them on this time
Lando
roger
omg this stupid fucking plaster shoe takes so long to put on
ok On my way!
NO NO NO STUPID IPHONE
I MEANT OMW
Alex
HELP I JUST CHOKED ON A MOUTHFUL OF MY BAGUETTE
Max
💀
Valtteri
Max
Don't know whether you were aware but typically an exam has a 'no phones' rule even if it's open book.
And the professor is staring at you
I thought you ought to know
Max
Oh shit
Lando
VALTTERI
BUDDY OL PAL
HOW have you not been caught texting
Valtteri
Easy mate
Just connect WhatsApp to your laptop
Lando
...
HOW HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT
btw @Kevin @Nico you left your front door open
i closed it for you
nice paintings
Nico
Kevin Magnussen
How do you manage this every time!?
I can NEVER leave the flat after you because you are always leaving this open
Kevin
I thought I shut it this time
I am sorry
Nico
I'm scared for when we move out of here and get our own house
Kevin
I really don't know why I'm so forgetful when it comes to these things
I'm at a loss
Nico
Yes I think that is precisely the problem
Lando
i am BACK from bestie hangout
Carlos
Maldita sea, ese examen fue muy estresante (Damn, that exam was very stressful)
Lando
i beg your pardon?
Carlos
That exam was horrible
I thought I will fail
Lando
im sure you wont carlos
your very smart
way smarter than me
Carlos
Thank you Lando
But do not say that about yourself
You are very smart
You and me we are different kinds of smart
I am good at maths, your brain is very creative
I could never think or do of half the things you can
Lando
uh
may have just teared up
thank you carlitos<3
Carlos
No problem Landito!
Lando
WAIT I WAS MEANT TO BE THE ONE COMFORTING YOU
yes as i was saying
you will definitely pass
with more than 80% trust
Carlos
We will just have to hope
Charles
he is right carlos
you will get a very high score
Max
Yes you will
Checo
I agree
Carlos
Thank you everyone
I am feeling optimistic now 🤞
In fact
Should I say
That exam was a very
Lando
SMOOTH OPERATION
Carlos
YES
SMOOTH OPERATORR
Lando
SMOOOOOOTH OPERATOR
Carlos
🫂🫂
Lando
🫂
Fernando
Hello all
I have just acquired a job at Nando's so thought to let you know if anyone wants anything from there I get employee discount now.
Lando
OH GET IN
very fitting
with the name
will definitely drop by and see you big man xxxx
Fernando
Thank you
Oscar
Lando I've just checked Life360
You had a lecture starting 10 minutes ago and you're still at home??
Lando
OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT
THANK GOD FOR SHARED CALENDARS
GONNA KISS YOU OSC
BYE GUYS
Alex
um???
something you want to share with the class??????
Oscar
Nothing
It's a turn of phrase
Lando
yeah lol
i mean i'll kiss you if you want osc but i did forget to brush my teeth this morning<3
Oscar
No thank you then!
Alex, Oscar: 14:48
Alex
forgive me for being nosy buttt
do you like lando?
Oscar
Is it that obvious?
Alex
yes.
omg oscarrr
can i be your wingman.
Oscar
Sure??
I don't think he likes me back though.
Alex
are you blind
Oscar
Why? Do you think he does?
Alex
um. DUH
he literally said he'd kiss you if you wanted
Oscar
I thought that was a joke
Alex
i've never seen him say that to anyone before
except carlos when he had a crush on him
ANYWAY
mate i can't believe you didn't know
it's not like lando makes it very discreet
Oscar
He had a crush on Carlos?
Alex
someone's jealous
hackles down mate
he got over it after carlos let him down gently
anyway. oscar. osco. osc. what's the game plan.
Oscar
I'm not jealous
Don't let Lando catch you calling me Osc
He insists he's the only one who can
(I told him my mum also calls me Osc and he made an exception.)
Alex
SEE
THATS NOT NORMAL FRIEND BEHAVIOR
literally everyone calls me albono and i don't care even though it was george and charles who started it
Oscar
Okay, fine. I'm still nervous though.
Alex
do not fear i'm a lando expert
we got this mate
Oscar
Right if you say so
Alex
i do say
oh im so excited
i cant wait to live vicariously through you soon as my own love life is non-existent
oh and he's gone offline
typical
Fernando, Lance: 16:01
Fernando
Happy birthday Lance
Everyone is offline
Notes:
as usual languages are translated with google translate so apologies about any incorrect translations!
Chapter 8: birthday
Summary:
George
Has anyone seen Kevin or Nico recently? I've been trying to catch them all week but I haven't seen them at all.
Chapter Text
Block F1 Groupchat: 09:10
George
Has anyone seen Kevin or Nico recently? I've been trying to catch them all week but I haven't seen them at all.
Lance
Nope sorry
Valtteri
They're in Denmark
Lewis
Yeah, did you guys not know?
Checo
I knew too
Fernando
I also knew
George
What?! How do you lot all know??
Valtteri
Come to think of it
Ah
Yes
They didn't say on this chat
They said on the other one
Lando
HANG ABOUT
WHAT OTHER ONE
Valtteri
We have one for the 'old' guys here
So me, Lewis, Fernando, Checo, Kevin, Nico and Daniel is still in it I think
Lando
well this is a revelation
Charles
shut up lando
acting like we dont have a separate one
Lance
Wait you do?
Alex
are you not in it?
Lance
No
Lando
mb lance i made it
ill add you now
Lance
Oh okay
Thanks
Fernando
Lando, what the fuck?
Lando
huh
what
i added him
Fernando
How long has it existed?
Lando
for like
a year
idk
Fernando, Lance: 09:14
Fernando
Lance are you okay?
Lance
Yes
Why wouldn't I be
Fernando
Well because of what Lando just said
Lance
Its fine
I shouldn't be surprised really
The only person my age who really speaks to me is Esteban
And not even he noticed I wasn't in that group
Fernando
I am sorry Lance
They should not have treated you like that
Would you like to hang out later?
Lance
Are you sure
You don't have to you know
You probably don't wanna hang out with someone younger than you
Don't feel obligated because nobody else in here will
You're the only one that remembered my birthday anyway
Fernando
Nobody else remembered your birthday??
And also I am not just hanging out with you because I feel obligated to
I want to hang out with you because I like you
Lance
Oh
Well then sure
:)
Fernando
I will meet you after your lecture
Is that okay?
Lance
Yeah perfect
Thank you
Fernando
No problems
I look forward to it
r/dating_advice
u/SirLancelot • 2hr
I think I like my older flatmate
Me (26m) and my flatmate (43m) have lived together for around 2 years now and I realized I might've developed feelings for him. But I don't know if he likes me too, he's really hard to read an...
Block F1 Groupchat: 11:37
George
Okay wait.
How come Nico and Kevin are in Denmark? They have coursework to do.
Checo
Well obviously Kevin is from Denmark
And good point
I'll ask
Esteban, Lance: 11:44
Esteban
Lance mate
I think I've just seen a Reddit post by you
Lance
Oh shit
Esteban
You like Fernando?
Lance
Well
Yeah
I guess so
I mean yes
I don't know
Esteban
Well what do you like about him
Lance
He's funny
He's very thoughtful
I really like his company
He makes me feel happy?
And he was the only one here who's remembered my birthday for the past 2 years
Esteban
Wait when was your birthday
Lance
A week ago
Esteban
Fuck
I'm so sorry Lance
Lance
It's okay
I expected it
Esteban
No but you shouldn't of
I'm so sorry I'm a shit friend
What can I do to make it up to you
Lance
Seriously its fine
You don't have to do anything
Esteban
I want to
Maybe we can hang out later?
Lance
I'm hanging out with Fernando later
Look I gotta go Esteban
Talk to you later
Esteban
Oh okay
Bye
Esteban, Charles: 11:47
Esteban
Putain
Charles
I've fucked up
Charles
what have you done
Esteban
I forgot Lance's birthday
Charles
oh no
esteban...
Esteban
Don't patronise me you forgot too
Charles
im not one of his best friends
Esteban
What the fuck do I do
He's remembered my birthday every year
Charles
idk man
sorry
i've never forgotten my best friend's birthday
Esteban
You are so useless
Alex, Lando: 11:59
Alex
lando wtf
you didnt add lance to it??
Lando
its not like u noticed he wasnt there
Alex
ive had it muted since you made it
i should've noticed but i'm not active on there at all
you dont wanna know how many notifications i have on it
i know fine well you didnt forget him
why didnt you add him?
Lando
no i did genuinely forget
but i'll admit i lowkey found him annoying at first
so i just... knew i forgot but didn't do anything about it?
Alex
you shouldn't have left him out though!
fernando was right
what the fuck
and you dont even feel bad
Lando
alex come on
u cant be serious
omg
i'll apologise to him
Charles, Alex: 03:08
Charles
mate
can you go to bed please
its 3am and you have been pacing for hours
03:08 alex
i can hear you
Alex
sorry
George, Lewis: 04:15
George
Can you hear that?
Lewis
I was just about to ask you
That knocking?
George
Yes, that's what I'm hearing.
It's 04:15, who the bloody hell is knocking at this hour?
I'll go and see, shall I?
Lewis
That would be great George thank you
Who was it?
George
Alex, drunk.
Apparently forgot he doesn't live on the top floor.
I told him to stay here tonight, I don't want him falling down the stairs drunk or something.
Lewis
Ah
So he's on the sofa bed?
George?
George
No. He's in my bed.
Don't even say anything.
Lewis
I wasn't going to!!
Goodnight George
George
Night.
Everyone is offline
Notes:
thank you everyone for your nice words :) im feeling a little better now and full of ideas for this fic!!!! :)
Chapter 9: christmas
Summary:
Block F1 Groupchat: 18:09
Lando
U SCUMBAG U MAGGOT
U CHEAP LOWSY FAGGOT
HAPPY CRISTMAS VALTTERIS ARSE
I PRAY GOD ITS OUR LAST
Notes:
merry christmas to all who celebrate! hope you had fun and got everything you wanted :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Block F1 Groupchat: 05:34
George
Who the bloody hell is playing 'Fairytale of New York' at this hour?
Oscar
That would be Lando.
He's been awake since 4am
Someone please save me
Alex
oh my god
christmas is a day to wake up at 10am
lando i'll kill you
Lando, Alex: 05:40
Lando
alex
thats the first time youve spoken directly to me in like
a week
and its a death threat
Alex
yeah well
season of goodwill and all that
no point being mad
look i probably shouldn't of reacted that badly but i was having a shit time and you just pissed me off
but you do understand what you did to lance was bad right
Lando
well yeah i do now
sorry u were having a shit time
are you better now?
Alex
yeah thanks
Lando
i thought u should know that i talked to lance and apologised to him
and i feel sufficiently bad about my actions
Alex
im glad to hear it
Lando
so are we good now?
Alex
yeah
we are
:)
Lando
<3
Block F1 Groupchat: 09:58
George
Okay, so! Now that it's actually a reasonable time of day, I'll be coming round soon with presents for those who are still here.
For those who are away spending Christmas elsewhere, you can get yours when you're back.
Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, just consider it a spontaneous gift.
Zhou
oh
that is really thoughtful
i am sorry george i did not get a gift for you 😿
George
That's all right Zhou!
They're nothing special, just trinkets.
Max
Can I just step in and say a unanimous thank you to George so we don't get 20 in a row
Alex
yes pls
and thats a unanimous please
Valtteri
👍
Alex
inspiring response valtteri thanks
SPEAKING OF WHICH VALTTERI
GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU MISTER
WHY DID YOU PUT A CARD OF YOUR ARSE THROUGH MY LETTERBOX
Franco
i have a bone to pick with YOU alex
why did you feel the need to take a picture and send it to me
Zhou
valtteri likes showing off his arse
also i dared him to do that
Lewis
*This message was deleted.*
Alex
you know a bunch of people saw that
Valtteri
I saw it
Thanks Lewis
Lewis
Oh
I thought you'd gone offline
Kevin
😂
Alex
well well well
look who it is
where have you two been hm
vanished off the face of the earth
Kevin
Denmark
Family
Charles
i can see you put your whole heart and soul into that information
very detailed
Nico
A man of few words
Yuki
is that why you married him?
Nico
NO
I married him for other reasons
Kevin
He married me for a bet
Lando
HELLO
BACKSTORY TIME
you cant leave it there i want to know now
Kevin
So coincidentally this bet actually happened at Christmas time
So gather round it's time for a Christmas story
As it was Christmas, we all got pretty drunk
Except me, I was fairly sober
But Nico was hammered let me tell you
And he made a bet with his grandfather that he could fit more Brussels sprouts in his mouth at once than his grandfather could
If Nico lost, he had to not drink alcohol for a year
If he won, he had to propose to me
He won.
No less than 4 Brussels sprouts. And they were pretty large
Nico
That was practise 😏
Kevin
NICO
Oh my God
Lando
THATS HOW YOU GOT MARRIED
also i agree with kevin
dont need to hear that
but now i kinda wanna know...
Kevin
Lando
Sincerely, what the fuck
You're too curious for your own good
Honestly
Lando
thats the second time i've been shouted at today :(
Oscar
Lando I'm sorry
You kind of asked for both of them
Lando
YOUR MEANT TO BACK ME UP
YOUR MY BSF
Oscar
Just telling the truth
Lando
im gonna ram a turkey leg down ur throat
Oscar
Great thank you
Oh cheers George
Assuming thats the present coming through the letterbox
Lando
george russell is santa claus confirmed
Alex, George: 11:12
Alex
hey
sorry to bother you on christmas but
like
are you doing anything
George
No, Lewis is spending Christmas with Valtteri so I'm basically just going to sit in the flat, open a few presents and eat enough calories to bring down an army.
Why? Are you spending it alone?
Alex
yeah
franco's gone and i was way too exhausted to travel down to spend it with my family
George
Spend it with me. Please. If you want.
Alex
are you sure?
George
Alex. Get up here. I'll go and open the door for you. See you soon.
Alex
okay
you're a great friend (Edited)
Block F1 Groupchat: 18:09
Lando
U SCUMBAG U MAGGOT
U CHEAP LOWSY FAGGOT
HAPPY CRISTMAS VALTTERIS ARSE
I PRAY GOD ITS OUR LAST
Carlos
I think you have drank a lot
Oscar
Yep 👍
He's finished a bottle of champagne all by himself
Whereas I've only had one glass of wine
Someone has to prevent WW3 from happening.
Fernando
*image.png* (it's of Lance wearing a paper crown which slips down his face as he points at a fish tank.)
I got new fish as gift from Lance
Lando
OH!!!
im so happy for you nandoo
yeah... totally
Checo
They're cute Fernando
Merry Christmas to all!
Pierre
Help
Esteban had one too many chocolate liquer shots and thinks he's spiderman
He just tried to climb the walls then fell backwards and squished the yule log
Bastard
Charles
i hope you got a video
Pierre
I didn't unfortunately
Oh now he's crying because he couldn't go back to France for Christmas this year
George
So what I've learned is you all turn into alcoholics at Christmas.
Nico
5
I BEAT MY RECORD
I FIT ONE MORE IN MY MOUTH
ME AND KEVIN ARE GOING TO RENEW OUR VOWS
FROHE WEIHNACHTEN
George
Congratulations I suppose!
Lando
AWWW GEORGE
I LOVE YOU TOO
George
???
I never said...?
Nevermind.
Max
Merry Christmas Lando
Lando
AW
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS MAX
ITS CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAS
LOOK TO THE FUTURE NOW ITS ONLY JUST BEGUUUUUUN
Alex
oh dear lord here he goes
Block F1 Groupchat: 23:44
Zhou
drunk
me
incredibly
but look
lewis and valtteri ended up under the mistletoe lol
i watched on video call
from china!
i am in china
圣诞快乐
George
THEY WHAT
Alex
oh you know george is drunk when he uses capitals and no punctuation
but yeah THEY WHAT
Lando: 02:32
all i want for christmas is youuuu
Yuki
only 365 days to go!
Zhou
*screenshot.png*
Lewis
It's a nice arse, he should show it off
that is what lewis said earlier
kind of gay
Alex
💀
go to bed
youre all getting one hell of a hangover
Lando
last christmas i gave you my heart
but the very next day
you gave it away
Max
Lando
Please
Shut up
Lando
when the weather outside is rizzy
*Lando has been removed from the groupchat*
Notes:
proper chapter coming soon!
Chapter 10: plans
Summary:
Lando
CAN YOU HANDLE THE CURVES CAN YOU RUN ALL THE LIGHTS
IF YOU CAN BABY BOY THEN WE CAN GO ALL NIGHT
CAUSE IM ZERO TO SIXTY IN 3.5
BABY YOU GOT THE KEYS
NOW SHUT UP AND DRIIIIIIVE
Notes:
this fic has undergone a rework - i've rewritten most of the previous chapters, because i wasn't happy with them, so i would recommend going back and rereading them to catch up! you don't have to, but it'll make more sense.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lance, Fernando - 14:12
Lance
Thank you for paying yesterday Fernando :)
Fernando
It's no problem
I was happy to
We had a nice time yes?
Lance
Yes!!! We did
Fernando
Would you like to do it again sometime?
Lance
That would be lovely
<3
Fernando
😊😊😊
Block F1 Groupchat - 14:14
Lewis
Somebody's dropped a load of notes in the foyer
Anyone here study 'music and sound design for film?'
That's what it says on one of the sheets anyway
Charles
MERDE
THOSE ARE MINE
i really needed those for the day i had no idea i dropped them
stupid bag
what do i do my lecture today is all the way at the west campus i'll be late if i go back for them
Lewis
I can bring them to you, I also have a lecture on the West Campus today
Leaving now 👍🏾
Charles
you're a lifesaver
Max
I didn't know that's what you study Charles
Well I knew it was music-related
That's very cool
Charles
thank you
what do you study max?
Max
Aerospace engineering
Alongside half the other people in this building apparently lol
Lando
CAN YOU HANDLE THE CURVES CAN YOU RUN ALL THE LIGHTS
IF YOU CAN BABY BOY THEN WE CAN GO ALL NIGHT
CAUSE IM ZERO TO SIXTY IN 3.5
BABY YOU GOT THE KEYS
NOW SHUT UP AND DRIIIIIIVE
Max
Oh okay
Charles
LEWIS
I THINK I SEE YOU
OH YOU LEGEND
Lando
i love rihanna
Nico
I hear that
Kevin
Me too Lando
Lando
YOU DO????
OMG
KEVIN
whats ur fav
Kevin
Don't Stop The Music
Lando
fire
@Nico hope u like post malone xxx
Nico
Who
Lando
omg ur so old
im dragging all of u into my flat one day and educating u
Valtteri
I really don't think that's necessary considering sometimes I can hear your music and I live three floors above you
Lando
oops
sorry
Charles
@Lance @Fernando as an apology i have paid for somebody to come and fix your door
Lance
Are you sure? I can easily cover it
Charles
my bank account is screaming yes but my guilty conscience is saying no
Lance
Seriously I'll pay
Charles
if you're offering
Lance
I am
Charles
THEN HELL YES
PLEASE
i was literally gonna have to live on bread and cheese💔
Carlos
Mate
No you were not
I buy the groceries for both of us
Charles
oh yeah
Lance
Charles PM me with the cost
Charles
will do
Max
@Fernando Daniel is asking if you would use your employee discount to order him a Nando's
Fernando
Certainly
Fernando, Lance - 15:30
Fernando
Are we still on for tomorrow Lance?
Lance
Yes of course!
By the way, just wanted to let you know that I'll be over at Esteban's and Pierre's until quite late today, so lock the door and don't wait up. :)
Fernando
Ah okay. What are you staying late for?
Lance
Helping Esteban with his CV and applying for a job opening, he's not got a clue what to put on it
It might take some time knowing us, we get distracted easily
Fernando
Wish Esteban good luck from me ✌
Lance
I will!
Lance, Esteban - 16:59
Lance
I'll be over soon
Esteban
Ugh I'm so nervous
This is a big step towards my dream job in the industry
What if I don't get it
Lance
Don't talk like that of course you will
You're one of the most hard working people I know, you got this
Esteban
Thanks Lance
Love you mate
Lance
Love you too Esteban :)
Everyone is offline
Notes:
it's been quite a while since i updated this fic, so if you've been waiting since christmas for another update, thank you for sticking around and being patient with me<3 i know this is a short chapter, but it mostly serves as a filler so we can start getting to the good stuff >:)
as usual, let me know what you think and constructive criticism is welcomed 💛
Chapter 11: *lando has been removed from the groupchat*
Summary:
*Lando has been removed from the groupchat by: Kevin*
Oscar
Kevin I'm fucking warning you
Washed viking looking tosser
Notes:
so like remember when i said i would be doing regular updates
never ever listen to me again because i am a big fat liar
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Esteban - 09:39
GUYS
I GOT THE JOB
Lance
YES
ESTEBAN I KNEW YOU WOULD
Pierre
👏👏👏
Lando
oh epic
whats the job??
Esteban
Assistant editor for a comic strip I really like!
Lando
WAIT thats actually so cool
Alex
congrats esteban!
Checo
I want this cat OUT OF THIS BUILDING
Max
What's happened
Checo
ALEXANDER
PLEASE CONTROL YOUR ANIMALS
Alex
oh my god
this isn't about goosey again is it
checo we've been over this
goosey does not want to...
a) kill you
b) eat you
c) skin you
d) castrate you
e) or any other violent scenario you can think of
Checo
Why is she in my bathroom
On top of the shower stall
Just waiting to jump down and annihilate me while I'm just trying to get on with my business
Alex
she just likes you
Checo
No
This cat is evil
Franco
idk checo she's pretty nice to me
Checo
Alex what am I doing wrong
Help me
Alex
i don't know
try feeding her tuna she loves it
anyway
omg oscar what do you want
Lando
he didnt say anything??
Alex
no he's dming me
be right back guys 🙄
Oscar, Alex - 12:01
Oscar
Alex
It's bad
Alex
what
it better be worth interrupting me for
Oscar
...
I think it's worth it
Alex
it's not to tell me how cute lando looks again is it
Oscar
What no
I have never done that
But also yeah it was about that
Alex
you seriously need to tell him mate
this is insufferable
i can't hear much more of this
Oscar
I'll tell Lando if you tell George
Alex
touché
at least things with me and george are moving
Oscar
Are they?
Alex
well
yeah
we had lunch together yesterday
Oscar
You have lunch together three times a week and have done since I've known you guys
Alex
you may have a point
BUT
when was the last time you had lunch with lando
hang on i have to go george is messaging me
not that i have a favourite between you guys
but if i did it would be george
Oscar
And you call me bad.
George, Alex - 12:23
George
Are you free?
Alex
god you and oscar both type like a pair of old men
anyway yes
George
Right, okay?
I just wanted to ask if you wanted to come round
Alex?
Alex? Hello?
Alex
i'm outside
Block F1 Groupchat: 13:00
Lando
alex
alex
alex
alex
alex
alex
alex
@Alex
@Alex
@Alex
@Alex
@Alex
Kevin
Lando please shut the fuck up
Lando
@Alex
*Lando was removed from the groupchat by: Kevin*
*Lando was added to the groupchat by: Oscar
*Lando was removed from the groupchat by: Kevin*
Oscar
Kevin I'm fucking warning you
Washed viking looking tosser
*Lando was added to the groupchat by: Oscar*
Lando
hi
help
why do i keep getting removed
Alex
oh hi lando
maybe because you spammed my name like 1029474378 times
Lando
it was 12 actually
*Lando has been removed from the groupchat by: Alex*
*Lando was added to the groupchat by: Alex*
Alex
i felt bad
Lando
CAN I JUST ASK WHAT I WANTED TO
alex
what were you gonna say
Alex
what?? when
Lando
earlier
you said "anyway" then left to message osc
Alex
OHH right
that
well you see
i can't remember
Kevin
I've lost the will to live
Max
That's the spirit 👍
Checo
@Alex I fed Goosey tuna
We're friends now
Alex
aw i'm glad checo
see i told you
wtf is that scratching at the door
Franco
???
there's no scratching
Alex
oh i'm at george's rn
Valtteri
I can hear it
Zhou
is that cause you're in lewis's bed
Valtteri
No it's because we're neighbours
Pierre
...
Oh
Are you not deleting this one
Zhou
i a m trryign
my phone is lagging so baa d
Lewis
Oh
Um
Okay
Alex
WHAT THE FUCK
CHECO
YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARD
Charles
why has checo just come out of the elevator giggling his head off
Alex
BECAUSE HE'S A SHIT
HE'S TURNED MY OWN CAT AGAINST ME AND NOW GOOSEY IS TRYING TO BREAK INTO GEORGE AND LEWIS'S FLAT
Checo
Aw Alex Goosey doesn't want to hurt you
Or kill you
Or eat you
Or skin you
Or or castrate you
Or do any other violent scenarios you can think of
Alex
oh i fucking hate you
go to hell
wanker
Lando
lmaoo
Alex
not even safe in my own home anymore
George
You can stay at mine
Alex
really??
thank you georgie
Lewis
George where is he going to sleep
We have no spare bed
Lando
i think we all know where Alex will be sleeping xx
*Lando was removed from the groupchat by: George*
*Lando was added to the groupchat by: Oscar*
Lando
oh
my
GOD
*Everyone is offline*
Notes:
short crack chapter - and i actually have a good reason for it!! i'm at the belgian gp this year! :)
and something LIFE CHANGING happened to me there
so if you know me, you'll know that i'm a HUGE valtteri fan (i've supported this guy since he joined f1 in 2013)
i'm going to make u guys a list then scream into the void
1. i was at the very front (barrier) of the fanzone stage to see valtteri's interview at 17:40
2. he looked at me and my stupid huge cardboard valtteri head
3. he took a video of everyone on his phone
4. i am in valtteri's camera roll
5. he posted it on his instagram story and you can see me
6. i posted about it on my story and he looked at it. HE LOOKED AT MY STORY
7. i have peaked.i very casually and maturely have burst into ecstatic tears several times today
thank you for reading<3 i'm going to start being honest and will tell u i have absolutely no idea when the next chapter will be out.
anywayy sorry for rambljng and also i know i am soso bad at replying to comments. i'm gonna try harder to reply to everyone — if i haven't replied to you, know that i really appreciate you reading and supporting this story 🤍
Chapter Text
hello! i didn't really want to make a whole new chapter that isn't the story - but i don't have any story to post.
you might have noticed that this fic was last updated on the 25th of july - and then vanished in august. that is because it's original, very talented author Caeli (@caeliz) no longer wanted any of their fics up.
they have decided to undo this decision (you can see all of their works again on their profile) and add me as a co-creator on their multi-chapter works. i'm very honoured that they've trusted me to carry on their works. unfortunately, Caeli no longer writes and although they no longer wish to keep writing, they didn't want to leave their fics unfinished for people who enjoyed them, hence the reason i'm here.
while i know what Caeli wanted to be done with their other fics plot-wise, i know that they never really planned this one and they wrote chapters when they felt like it; it never had any clear plot.
so i wanted to come on here and ask anybody who read and enjoyed this fic: is there any direction you'd like for me to take it? i want to make clear that Caeli has given me permission to full creative liberties to their fics. i have some ideas of my own, but i'd like to hear yours too!
lastly: Caeli was incredibly grateful for all the love you showed this fic. thank you for the comments, kudos and for reading. i hope i can continue this story well and make everybody happy!
- iona ♡