Chapter Text
“Lad’s ready for toni-?”
“Zava will have a celebration of our good works, all is invited!” Zava nodded, and everyone went apeshit.
Jamie’s teeth were beginning to hurt from how much he kept them clenched tight. His jaw ached at some points, and lips tingled with his harsh pouts. He glared down at his laces as Zava once again steam rolled over his every word. It was bad enough the guy was tapping in his goals, bad enough barely anyone bothered to pass to him. Why throw salt into all the wounds by cutting Jamie off from the lads off the pitch as well.
“-that’s great, mate, but -” Jamie tried to find his footing again. If he could just remind the room that maybe it would be great if just for today they didn’t kiss ass to the Italian man. If he could just finish his fucking sentence then maybe the lads would remember that sometimes the team was more than just fucking Zava.
“No buts, Jamie Tartt. Butts are for sitting and pondering, tonight we celebrate!” Another round of misguided awe.
“Whatever.” Jamie brushed the man off of his shoulder. He turned back to his locker and willed the hot moisture out of his eyes. His jaw was quivering like a fucking baby, not that anyone fucking noticed. They were all too caught up in Zava.
“Celebrating, what’s the occasion?” Ted’s Middle American accent had Jamie perking up. Although the man was a bit of a push-over, he was always on the ball with this kind of stuff. He’d put his players to rights.
“Zava and the team have done so well this season, it is only right to celebrate!” Zava held his hands out to everyone in front of him. Which was everyone, except for Jamie. They all basked in his praise, as if he were the sun. Another shiver ran down’t Jamie’s skin, goosebumps. If the rest basked in the sun, then Jamie was tucked away in the cold shadows, unseen, unwanted, only needed when needed - and for as long as Zava was here, was Jamie ever needed?
“Sounds grand.” Ted smiles before telling the players to ‘pick up the pony’ and get on the field. Beard corrects Ted that it’s called pitch here (which the man should know by now).
Jamie tried to put the morning out of his head. Maybe everyone was being a-loaf on purpose - unsliced and having to take extra steps to make a sandwich. They were faking being difficult, so Jamie would think they had forgotten about tonight, about today, so when they all showed up, it would be like a surprise party. Like they’d done for Sam.
Yeah, that was it. It wasn’t like every single person forgot about Jamie’s birthday? Especially when they had already made plans to go to the Science Museum. The Museum had reopened the planetarium last week for a limited time. Colin had mentioned about it last month, and Jamie had joked about having one of those slumber-parties in it for his birthday. The lads had all been enthusiastic about it then. They’d even managed to get Jamie to actually put in a reservation for it later that day.
“TARTT, Get your head out of your ass!” Roy’s shout got Jamie to shake his head and focus back on the 11v11. Not soon enough, because the ball practically fell to his feet. Jeff and Davis were fumbling around each other, and everyone was already turning to crowd Zava, that Jamie had an insultingly straight path to the goal. So he fucking took it.
Even in training, Jamie can’t catch a fucking break. Not only did Zava have to steal this goal, he also made Jamie trip over his own damned feet. They were on the same fucking team! Jamie lay on the pitch, digging his fingers into the soul as pour anger and hurt and irritation bubbled angrily in his chest. He wasn’t hurt physically, but it was like a boulder was keeping him down.
“There is no candar in milking an injury during training.” Zava shakes his head. A few of the other lads shake their heads. Jamie takes a few more breaths on the ground before getting up. Ted calls him over. Has one of his pep talks that use to many words and just makes Jamie feels like he’s being messed with. Jamie isn’t injured, but there’s a pricking right under his skin. He can feel it between his flesh and muscles. He can feel it coating his bones.
“You feeling alright, son?” Ted asks.
“Fine.” Jamie snaps, it’s sharp and he doesn’t mean it to be, but it is and so he storms back onto the pitch like he’s supposed to when his words are sharp. He’s not angry, but he’s not-not angry though.
“Stop being a fucking prick, Jamie.” Roy yells. Jamie gets back to his spot, and finds that the ball never gets close to him again. It’s like the new game everyone plays is keep-away and Jamie has cooties.
This is a part of the plan. Make Jamie feel so low that he’s so overcome with joy when they do something extra special today he’ll probably have a heart attack. Jamie will realize how funny he’s been taking everything and have a good laugh with the lads about this.
“Hey, remember the plan, boyo.” Isaac comes up to Jamie as training is called to a close. Jamie looks up, his heart skipping a beat and warmth instantly spreads feeling back into his arms.
“Yeah, The planet-”
“Pass to Zava, yay.” Isaac claps him on the shoulder before moving past him to talk to another player. Jamie’s throat clogged up and more of his body started to have that unfeeling-not itchiness to it.
He had to take deep breaths. All a part of their plan. If Isaac had been talking about the already planned out birthday-museum-sleepover then the surprise of them actually remembering and coming would be ruined.
Jamie didn’t know why he even cared. He was turning twenty-five, it wasn’t like he was some dumb kid who’s never had a birthday party with all his friends, because he was the poor kid and no one ever wanted to come over.
Jamie found himself slowly getting out of his kit. His ears itching to hear even a peep of the plans for tonight.
“Remember, everyone at Zava’s for the celebration. It is team mandatory. The coaches and kitman shall be there too. Even Ms. Welton and Higgins.”
“I will make sure everyone is there, Zava.” Dani practically simpered.
Right, again, the plan. Dani couldn’t suddenly not act like he wouldn’t give anything to worship at the feet of this man. Dani was acting, because Dani was always a good actor and could lie like the best of them. He was lying saying everyone would be at Zava’s and when they all showed up to Jamie’s birthday it would knock the man down a self-righteous peg.
Jamie can’t actually remember what happened between changing into his streetwear and arriving at the Museum. The receptionist is a little shocked to realize that the ‘birthday party slumber party’ is for not only a grown man, but for a full club of Premier League footballers. After the initial shock though, she thinks it's a fun idea.
Jamie then goes outside to wait for his friends to arrive.
He’s not sure if the night is getting cold, or if he’s getting cold, but he feels foolish. Twenty-fucking-five, and no one came to his science museum birthday party. It wasn’t like he could just sneak away either and act like this and never happened, the museum staff were fucking witnesses.
Bzzt
Jamie snatched his phone from his pocket, eager to see the ‘sorry coming soon’ texts, or explanations of why everyone is late. Or something, but all he gets is a few texts in the group chat asking where he is. Isaac texts him directing. The captain taking his duties seriously.
Team bonding, Jamie, where you at, Bruv
Where I said I would be
Don’t be a prick
I don’t know what’s up with you
You’ve been backsliding all day
Just get over here
Be a fucking teammate
The words start to get blurry until they become that watery clear and he watches as actual tears splash on his screen.
“Where is everyone else?” Jamie jumped at the gruff voice. Roy was stalking over with a deep frown. He looked back at Jamie and stuttered to a halt. “Woah- uh- What’s the matter with you?”
Jamie can’t help himself, in the slightly deserted parking lot of the Science Museum, he bursts into tears. He tries to explain it to Roy, tries to stop himself from crying, tries to calm the fuck down. It’s not even that big of a deal. He’s not some kid anymore.
He cries harder when Roy wraps his arms around him. The man, for all his rough edges and harsh aura, gives the best hugs Jamie has ever been given. They feel so safe, like a nuclear bomb could go off and he’d be none-the-wiser.
“It’s so stupid.” Jamie finally says out loud. “I’m so stupid.”
“Hey, it’s okay, you’re not stupid. You put faith in your friends that they would fucking be there for you, and they let you down. It’s not stupid to be disappointed and sad about it.”
“I’m a fucking baby for crying about it, though.” Jamie sniffled.
“Hey, it’s your fucking birthday, cry if you fucking want to.”
“Hey, um, I don’t want to be rude, but if you guys still wanted to ,like, do the overnight thing… we do have to lock the doors soon?” The receptionist gave a tight smile.
“Why the heck not, make the other lads jealous for missing out.” Roy tugged Jamie along.
“If they even care.” Jamie shrugged.
“Oh, I’ll make them fucking care.”
///////\\\\\\
Usually there was a party host for these kinds of things, but the good thing about having a lot of money and not being actual children was paying off the underpaid-overworked young adult to fuck off and promise not to destroy anything.
Jamie’s mood picked up the longer the night went. He made sure to ask Roy about each old relic as if he had been there. The older the relic the funnier he thought his joke was. Roy didn’t feel the same, and at one point pushed Jamie into a pedestal and almost knocked over a collection of old roman coins. The night guard gave them a warning look before going on with his night.
It wasn’t until the wee hours of the night that they had been ushered into the planetarium for the ‘sleeping portion’ of the night. The party host just shrugged, reminding them that this was meant for kids, but rules were rules and some rules couldn’t be paid off.
“I’m tired, Roy.” Jamie felt himself saying under the projected scenes of the sky and space.
“It’s almost two in the morning, fucking muppet.” Roy grunted. The coats they had given them weren’t all that comfortable, both of them would be feeling it in the morning. Jamie was sure the old man was feeling it right now too, but he didn’t say anything.
“No, like, in me bones.” Jamie’s voice was soft, barely heard over the soft voice of the narrator talking about the planets and space. “It’s like no matter what I do, I’m not doing it right. And I try to get it right, you know. It’s just hard. It’s like I gotta do different things that other people don’t have to do, you know?”
“Is this about Fucking Zava?” Roy grunted, sounding a pit peeved off. Jamie thought for a second, because he could understand why Roy would think he was talking about Zava, but he honestly didn’t care about the man by himself. Zava alone was just a weird man, Zava’s Zava-ness was only irritating due to how people treated him.
“It’s like Zava’s the sun, isn’t he?” Jamie peered at the solar system on the wall, all the planets orbiting the star. THE STAR. “He’s got everyone going around him because he scores the goals, he brings life into the team, but without the team he’d just be a shiny thing in the distance. And still he’d be full of himself, right?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Roy sighed. He still sounded annoyed, but at least he was letting Jamie try to explain.
“And You’re like Mars, all old, and cold, and you might have had life in ya at one point, but now you’re just some dusty old rock.” Jamie laughed a bit.
“Oi, And you’re like fucking venus, the fucking… peacock of planets.” Roy snapped.
“No. I’m fucking Pluto.” Jamie pointed up to the sad little Dwarf Planet. “I was a planet, but then I got kicked off the team because I weren’t good enough, kept cutting into people’s orbit and being a prick. And then I was just a rock, something debated about, made fun of, that I was a laughing stock because I was ruining me-self and all that. And now I’m back, but I’m not really am I? Not a full planet, but I still can’t seem to get it right.”