Chapter 1: Book 1: Beginning of the Prologue
Chapter Text
Inside the car, Ai glanced at the hospital, it's a place she'll stay for a few months.
“So this is it, huh?” Saito says as he removes his seat belt from the driver seat.
She caressed her large stomach before she also removed her seat belt. When she was about to open the passenger door, Saito grabbed her wrist.
“Ai…” Saito hesitates, but Ai knew very well that there were so many words he wanted to say at that moment.
For the time they've known each other, they've never had a heart to heart conversation, too prideful to cross the boundaries of their business relationship.
It won't start now.
“President, are you intimidated going to a doctor?” Ai giggles. “Don't worry you won't receive injections.”
Saito blinks before he scowls. “You damn idol…!”
Ai laughed as she got out of the car.
She ignored how Saito's shoulder slumped in defeat.
‘I'm sorry,’ Ai wanted to say, but saying those words will lead to regret, and regret was never in her dictionary when she made this important decision.
Ai wore her cap, and palmed her stomach again.
***
Inside the check-up room, she lets go of her disguise as the doctor talks with Saitou.
When her eyes met the doctor’s, she barely suppressed a flinch.
Ai knew that the doctor recognized her.
Looking over at her president, Saito didn't notice the suppressed shock from the doctor's face. Ai glanced down at the doctor's name tag.
Amamiya Gorou.
Ai gave the doctor a big smile, a smile that the fans think it's cute.
“Excuse me.” The doctor stands up. “I'll need to set up first for us to move on with the examination.”
Just like that, the doctor was out of the room, tail between his legs.
When the doctor left, silence descended between Ai and Saitou. It's not the first time there's been tension between them after telling Saitou she's pregnant.
“Seriously…” The manager sighs. “How did this happen?”
Ai clenches her palm but there's a toothy grin on her face as she looks around her surroundings. The distraction helps Ai relax her hands.
“Hey, Ai?” He rubs his face. “Can you tell me who's the father?”
She blinked at her manager, before she gave him a cute, victorious smile. “It's a secret!”
They both knew it's a moot point to question Ai. As Saitou was about to groan, the doctor thankfully came back.
The examination started. Ai was honestly surprised that the doctor kept a respectable distance as if he didn't know her, and only doing his job as a doctor.
Is he not a fan? Not likely. Ai noticed the door opened slightly after the doctor closed it a moment ago, eavesdropping on the conversation she had with the manager.
Still, his actions are…
It was nice.
Working in the industry for years, Ai rarely has these peaceful moments.
“As for your results,” Gorou cleared his throat once they were done with the examination. “You're 20 weeks in, expecting twins.”
Ai stared at the ultrasound in awe.
“Twins…” She murmured in disbelief and with wonder.
She—She made that!
Twins!
Can Ai love—?
“Are you sure about this Ai?”
Ai snapped out of her thoughts. She made eye contact with Saitou who's mouth twisted in displeasure, yet he’s giving her a choice.
“If Japan finds out about you getting pregnant at 16,” Saitou continues with a frown, “It would be the end for you, me and our company.”
As if she doesn’t know that…
Ai knew that ever since she found out she was pregnant.
Hell, she knew all her efforts over the years will go down the drain if she doesn't let go of this wishful thinking that she can love someone—
But Ai did become an idol to form an emotion called ‘love’.
She already made the decision before coming here.
Still…
“What do you think, doctor?” Let's ask the person who is a fan of Ai from B-Komachi.
After all, this is the perfect candidate to ask about this question, he might as well be the representative for the fans.
Gorou didn't seem to look shocked when he was being addressed, Ai suspected he encountered this many times, and Ai is just one of the fish in the sea.
Too bad, Ai wants to know his opinion about this.
“In the end, it's your decision to make.” He solemnly says. “Think carefully before you decide.”
***
The doctor says that, and the president also gave her the decision. It’s Ai's turn to provide an answer.
As Ai walks upstairs, her thoughts go to the president.
Honestly, the president doesn't deserve to be in this situation. He is the one who scouted Ai and gave her the light that she needed.
From the start, Saitou was there. He welcomed her in the industry, gave her the services, helped her form connections and…
To Ai, Saitou is her father. Blood doesn't matter about that fact.
But Ai can't help not regretting this. She’s sorry that she doesn't regret this decision. It's a part Ai is the most sorry for.
She opened the door of the rooftop. Ai was surprised to be greeted by Gorou's back.
Hmm…
“Doctor Amamiya?”
The doctor turns around in surprise. “Ms. Hoshino!” He watches her with wide eyes. “The night breeze is not good for your health.”
So he's really considerate, huh? “I'm wearing a couple of layers so I'm okay!”
She can feel her fan fidgeting awkwardly. How cute for someone so old to be this shy! Knowing this, Ai keeps talking.
“I decided to come here ‘cause President recommended this place and it's so nice.” And it is really nice as she stared at the country’s lights and also… “Even in the afternoon, I can still see the stars so clearly, Tokyo isn't like this at all.”
Really, the stars here are so bright. If Ai could, she would've lived in this place.
Maybe Ai can't be capable of loving someone but she loves stars as much as she can love something real yet artificial to a stranger's eyes.
Like how she loves her fans.
“Did you come all the way out here from Tokyo, because you're afraid of the public taking notice?”
Gorou suddenly asked her. Hmm, how bold.
“Hm?” She tilts her head. “Have I talked about my job at all?”
For a moment, she sees his face twitch but he recovers as he answers her, “I had a patient a while back who was your fan.”
There's tension in his shoulders, and she knew the tone of someone trying to calm themselves.
Luckily, Ai breaks the ice. “Aw shoot, I thought I'd be okay here since even doctors are our grandpas.” She puts a hand on her chin like how she usually does to let out her charisma. “I guess you can't hide auras! Looks like I've been caught!”
Gorou’s lips twitched, Ai internally chuckled. The doctor cleared his throat. “Are you going to quit being an idol?”
Oh? So that's what he's wondering about. Ai tilts in confusion. “Huh? I won't quit.”
The doctor blinked. “But that's…”
“I don't have a family, so I've always wanted one,” She gently cut him off. Ai wonders what he’s going to think about what she's going to say. “The ones in my tummy… they're twins, right?”
Will he ridicule her? Internally scoff at her? Pity his idol? She greedily wants to know.
“When I have them, I'm sure they'll be noisy, and we’ll become a very lively family!” She grins at the thought of two toddlers running around. “I'll give birth to my kids… and continue being an idol.”
As she looks over at her doctor, she sees how Gorou blinks in astonishment.
“You mean…”
“Yep!” She smirks at him. “It won't be public!”
Or will you think of me as selfish?
Ai continues. “Idols are ideals, creatures that shine with magical lies.” She tilts her head. “A lie is an exceptional form of love.”
The doctor stares at her like how a fan watches their idol on the stage. Ai keeps going. “A true top-notch idol can hide a child or two. Telling lie after lie. No matter how tough life may get on the stage, we sing like the happiest of people, that's what it means to be an idol!”
And Ai learned that in a hard way.
But it also excites her.
Because finally…! Maybe she can learn how to love someone in a way she knows.
And yet…
Ai looks up at the sky, to the stars. “But still, I want my happiness to be something that is true. No one really realises it, but we have emotions and a life. Being happy as a mother, or being happy as an idol. Normally you only get to pick one.” She turned around to face her doctor with a bright grin on her face. “But I want both. Hoshino Ai is very greedy.”
She observes the way Gorou Amamiya’s gear turns like a cog, Ai waits for him to process what she told him.
Now it's his turn.
Will this fan throw her to the wolves or help Ai wear a sheep's fur among the pack?
Honestly, it's not difficult for a fan to be upset about the situation and start spreading rumours.
“I made up my mind,” he declares.
“Eh?”
And yet…
“Hoshino Ai, I'll make sure you safely deliver two healthy kids.”
For the first time, she saw Amamiya Gorou other than a blank look on his face. He's suppressing a grin on his face.
Ai honestly expects him to curse her, encourage her, or pity her.
She grins.
When they revisit the topic the next day, Gorou warns Ai and Saitou how difficult it is to deliver twins, so he gives them an option.
Ai chose natural birth.
She trusts Doctor Gorou Amamiya to deliver her children safely.
***
It is one of the days Ai needs to relax and meditate.
She was passing by the cafeteria when she heard her doctor's name.
“Doc, you're not visiting my room anymore?”
“Are you not slacking off anymore?”
“Oh? Gorou Amamiya is becoming a decent doctor for once.”
Ai sees her doctor sheepishly rubbing his nape but he notices the way his eyes soften at the patients who roar in laughter.
She observes the way Gorou teases them back with a deadpan look on his face, then indignantly yells at them when a patient reiterates them. It's basically Gorou's land that Ai stepped in.
When Gorou gets out of the cafeteria, his eyes widen in surprise to see Ai there.
“Ms. Hoshino?”
Ai starts walking and Gorou follows suit.
She hums. “Am I the reason why you don't go to their rooms anymore?”
“Ah,” The doctor grimaces. “You heard that.”
Connected the dots actually, but Ai is not going to say that.
“More or less,” she says instead.
“You don't have to worry, Ms. Hoshino.” Gorou smirks mischievously. “The staff are actually relieved that I have a new patient.”
Ah, so he is an actual slack off. Ai did not expect that with how dedicated Gorou is to take care of her. Maybe because he has a patient so he's being serious about this… or is it because his patient is his idol? Or maybe both.
Ai wrapped her hands behind her back. “So you visit every patient in this hospital?”
“Yeah,” Gorou says as they keep walking.
“That's a lot of work…”
“It's fine, those people need comfort from time to time.”
“Do you do it because of that?” she asks curiously.
Gorou stops in his tracks, and Ai also stops too. The hallway is silent as Ai stands in front of the doctor.
Her doctor grimaces. “More or less.”
Liar.
“Hm?” She tilts her head. “Do you love them?”
“I—uhh—love?” Gorou bit his lip. “I don't know about love but I care for them.”
“What about the patient who is my fan?”
Gorou's expression turns to blank. “She already passed away.”
Bingo.
So that patient is one of the reasons why Gorou does such troublesome things.
“How about you, Ms. Hoshino?” Something dark familiarly lurks in Gorou's gaze. “What I’m doing with those patients is not different from what you're doing with your fans.”
For a moment, Ai is gobsmacked.
As if he realised what he has said, Gorou’s jaw hangs.
“I’m sorry—”
Ai laughs.
The doctor stilled.
After a few seconds, she calms down. “You got me there, doctor Amamiya.”
Gorou winced before he boldly gave her a blank stare. “You were sly first, Ms. Hoshino.”
Ah.
This doctor is figuring out Ai Hoshino.
Too dangerous.
Ai winks at him, an adorable act she puts on for her fans. “Sorry about that.”
Gorou shakes his head as if he now knows how Ai acts, but there's a fond smile on his face.
That's fine because Ai is also starting to figure out this doctor.
She knew Gorou Amamiya is as lonely as Ai Hoshino so both of them always like to face their own audience. For Ai, it's her fans. For Gorou, it's this hospital's patients.
***
Months passed by, Ai is about to deliver.
“Doc, thank you for all you've done.” She gave him a genuine smile that almost made Gorou step back. “If I call for you, please come running.”
Her doctor softly snorted. “Yeah, I will. My house is close by so it'll be alright.” He pauses for a moment. “Even if I can't make it, there'll be another doctor to check on you.”
“No,” Ai firmly says. “I want you, doctor.”
“Then,” Gorou smiles at her, “I'll be back.”
Who knows, maybe this is the last time she’ll be able to see him, because knowing the president, he’ll immediately take Ai back to Tokyo.
Ai has to admit, Gorou Amamiya became somewhat of a friend of hers in the past months. This is the first time in a long time feeling refreshed after everything that went down in her life.
As much as doctor Amamiya is her doctor, she's also his fan and a friend. The time he spent with him was short but it was long-lived.
Come to think of it, maybe Ai can convince the president that she needs a doctor, and that doctor would be Amamiya Gorou.
But…
Ai waited and waited but he didn't arrive.
Another doctor helps her deliver, Ai despises that doctor.
Still… when her babies were delivered, Ai can't help but smile at them.
Ai tries to postpone leaving this place, just to wait for Gorou Amamiya, but the president is relentless.
In the end, she finds out Gorou Amamiya was missing.
Ai should've known something as good as her bond with the doctor will eventually disappear, as if it was never there.
After all, this always happens to her.
Before Ai left, she glared at the crow who’s observing her from the tree branch.
Chapter 2: Book 1: The Reincarnators
Summary:
Aqua loves being doted on by his idol.
As someone who has been working tirelessly everyday, he loves his life as a baby. Eat, sleep, and practically live at the fullest of his lifetime. Aqua treasures this.
Being a doctor sucks anyway, at least for him.
Notes:
Reminder: the first few chapters of this fic are filled with the scenes from the canon manga, while the other half is some additional scenes to build up more developments to the character and the relationship.
Enjoy the slice of life arc!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Amamiya Gorou is—kind of—alive.
He blinks at Ai Hoshino, the person who's currently cooing at him.
She's calling him Ruby.
For the record, that's the name of Ai’s other child, one of the twins—ehem, excuse me—Ruby is my twin sister.
In this life, his name is Aquamarine Hoshino. He hates the name.
No one should blame him when it's such a weird name, he wants to swap with his twin sister!
Aqua is in a weird predicament.
He was reincarnated as his idol’s child!
Ai suddenly giggles. Aqua looks up to see Ai—his now mother, which is weird to think about—smiling fondly at him.
“Why are you making a complicated look on your face?” She grabs a ball toy from the box, on the front of the box there's a sign of ‘Ruby’ and ‘Aqua’. “You want this?”
NO.
But his hands and face have their own life as his small palm begins to hit the ball, the smile on his face turns to ecstatic laughs.
She chuckles. “You really love this.”
Suddenly, there's a cry on the other side of the futon. Ai gently puts him down, leaving him with the toy ball as she goes to his sister.
Aqua makes a face to the ball. Seriously, he was already 30 years old, why the hell did he act like a child sometimes?!? And it's not even the first time this happened.
Letting go of the small ball, Aqua watches Ai calm her daughter down. They—we—are still a few weeks old so it's normal for newborn babies to cry everyday.
Still, Aqua hates to just lay down and do nothing. His hands and feet are too weak to stand up or crawl.
Again, how the hell did this happen?
Aqua watches his new mother and new sister, his eyes trying to stay away but to no avail. Before sleep overtakes him, Aqua groggily ponders about Amamiya Gorou’s death.
The sleep came to him after that.
In his past life, Gorou Amamiya was Ai Hoshino’s obstetrician doctor.
During Ai’s stay in the hospital, he noticed a person lurking around the building. It was either an asshole wanting to start trouble or they knew Ai Hoshino from B-Komachi was in the hospital.
He really tried to track down the guy considering the fact police were not an option because in that town, law enforcement was shit.
The day Ai was about to give birth, he got pushed off the mountain.
Or was he? Aqua doesn't remember anymore—
Gorou regrets breaking his promise—it’s not even about just helping deliver Ai two healthy babies, but also a friend who should've been there for Ai when she needed him the most.
There's also some flashes of memories that both of them had gotten closer but it's a little blurry in Aqua’s head.
One thing for certain though.
The previous doctor cared about Ai the same way he cared about Sarina Tendouji.
The same way Gorou cared about his previous sister.
Aqua blinks awake.
He doesn't want to remember his previous sister.
Now that he's awake, more knowing the fact that it will be hard to sleep after that, Aqua counts some sheep in his head.
Then, he heard a whisper.
“Fuck.”
Aqua’s head whips to Ruby. His twin sister is currently staring at the wall and cursing.
“Fucking immobilise—”
He blinks again. “Are you like me?”
Silence.
His twin sister stares at Aqua, while he stares at Ruby.
Then—
Ruby screams. Aqua also screams.
“Mmm.” Ai’s body shifts. The twins shut their jaws with a snap.
Both of them look at Ai, who is thankfully still sleeping peacefully. It's not even a surprise Ai didn't fully wake up to the brief shouting from the babies when she kept taking care of the said babies for weeks, day and night.
Despite being a baby, Aqua is still embarrassed with the fact he acts like a baby such as crying with no reason or awfully being clingy to Ai. On another note, Aqua is glad he still has consciousness to know breastfeeding is a BIG NO for Aqua.
On to his twin sister—who is apparently a reincarnated baby like Aqua…
“A creepy baby is talking to me!” Ruby whisper-shouts at his face.
Aqua gives her a deadpan stare. “Take a look in the mirror.”
Ruby blows from her nose. “I would’ve done so if I could walk.”
“Being sassy doesn't help you.”
“Neither your judgement to me.”
“Again, take a look in the mirror.”
“Are you saying I'm ugly? I have mama’s looks.”
Ugh. Great, just great. He has an annoying sister. This is the start of their brother and sister journey. Yehey.
Aqua doesn't miss those kinds of dynamics. At all.
***
For weeks, Saitou Ichigo visits on some days to check on Ai and her children. Aqua knew him to be the president of the strawberry productions, B-Komachi's agency.
The man will look at the babies with a complicated expression, then he will turn around to talk with Ai. If Aqua can guess, Saitou still doesn't like what Ai decided but he also comes to terms with it.
“How are you, Ai?” The president asked once Ai put a cup of tea on the coffee table.
At the same time, Ruby and Aqua’s ears get imaginary bigger from the crib. Yes, they will eavesdrop on a conversation. It's not like anyone will know anyway.
Ai just grins at the president. “I'm fine, president! I should be the one asking you that.”
“I’m not the one who carried two human beings inside my stomach.”
“And I'm not the one who's dealing with the agency's chaos as of the moment.”
At that comment, Saitou's face turns to grimace. Ai props her elbow on the table and rests her chin on her palm.
Ai continues albeit with a soft tone, “I’m sorry if my popularity is declining these days.”
“It's fine,” He casually waves his hand. “I know you'll be able to rise up again once you come back.”
Damn right, Aqua whispers in his mind. She is Ai after all.
He also saw Ruby's small hands clenched into a fist, eyes sparkling with defiance and determination.
“Still,” Ai gives the crib a glance. “I don't know who will take care of them once I come back to the industry.”
“Don't worry about that,” Saitou drinks the tea. “I asked my wife about it, and she agreed that she'll do it.”
“Ah right! You have a wife now.”
“Yes, her name is Miyako.”
“I can't believe you have a wife at this age.”
“I'm 32 years old, I'm still young!”
Yeah! People in their 30’s are still young! Aqua thought. Thought like a 30 year old man.
“Anyway, president,” Ai smiles. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.” Saitou stands up. “It's time for me to leave or else the B-komachi members might do something terrible by creating a scandal and all that.”
That made Ai sheepishly look down.
The other B-Komachi members, huh? As Amamiya Gorou, he never cared for other members other than Ai, but he knows Sarina adores all of them—although she's more biassed with Ai.
Before the president left, Ai also stood up.
“President.”
“Hm?”
“I won't fail you.” Ai’s voice is full of determination as she says it. “I promise.”
Even though Aqua can't see their faces, he can practically feel what kind of expression Ai is making.
Although his past life is blurry, especially when it comes with Gouro’s friendship with Ai, he can't forget the sparkle on Ai’s face when she told him on the rooftop she'll both become an idol and a mother.
Ai Hoshino shines.
“I'll be expecting that then,” he says with a soft smile.
When the door shut, Ai walks over to the crib.
With a shine in her eyes, Ai asks, “Do you wanna see your mama perform?”
Ruby let out a gasp while Aqua’s mouth hung open.
She giggles at them before scooping both of them in her arms. “Alright! You'll be my audience for the first time in months.”
It's every fan's dream!
***
Aqua loves being doted on by his idol.
As someone who has been working tirelessly everyday, he loves his life as a baby. Eat, sleep, and practically live at the fullest of his lifetime. Aqua treasures this.
Being a doctor sucks anyway, at least for him.
He hopes no one is going to force him to become a doctor—or something he is not.
Aqua snaps out of his thoughts when Ruby dramatically cries from her crib.
Ai puts Aqua on the couch gently, and goes over to Ruby. She tries to calm her daughter down but Ruby keeps crying.
Then, Ruby smirks at Aqua. Dramatic much? Aqua almost rolls his eyes.
“What's wrong, Aqua?” Ai asks.
Suddenly another voice intercepted Ai; Saitou. “Her name is Ruby, are you really their mother?”
Aqua sees another person the president brought with him today. Is that the wife the president talks about? Miyako, right?
Ai sighs. “I can't help it, I'm bad at remembering names and faces.” She gives her babies a bright smile. “Isn't it awful, Aqua, Ruby? Japanese men like to stereotype.”
Ruby nodded with a pout on her face—’Oi! Don't encourage our mother!’ Aqua wants to shout but he instead gives his sister a glare.
“Stop preaching like a foreigner when you don't even have a passport!” He indignantly screams. “First of all, you're the one who doesn't allow shoots out of the country!”
“But I can memorise people's names when I think they have talent, president Sato.”
Aqua can practically see the president's vein pop out. “Close, my name is Saitou you shitty idol.”
Sometimes Aqua wonders if Ai is really ditzy or pretending to be one, or maybe it's both. Honestly, he wishes he knew the answer.
“Anyway!” Saitou suddenly exclaims. “As of today, Ai from B-Komachi shall make a comeback. Let's discuss what we're gonna do from now on.”
He can see Ruby vibrating from excitement. Aqua doesn't blame her.
“Your first appearance will be tonight's singing show.” He pointed a look at Ai. “It'll be live, but can you do it?”
“Of course!” She grins at him.
Saitou grins fondly in return.
Seeing their interaction, they really care for each other. It's not surprising considering the fact there's some bits from his memories that he remembers of Saitou hovering over Ai during her pregnancy.
Then, the president looks over at his wife. “While Ai's at work, it'll be my wife who will take care of the kids.”
Aqua narrows his eyes when she has a displeased look on her face. Nobody noticed her expression because Ai suddenly opened her mouth. Naturally, all eyes on her.
“Your wife is so young…” Ai says with a knowing tone, “You know, the other members also hate your favouritism with the younger girls.”
“I wasn't aware of that, I'll be careful.”
He doesn't know if they are joking around or not.
Another moment passes, Ai opens her mouth again.
“Can't I bring my kids to work?”
Ai…
He let out an exasperated sigh.
“Of course you can't!” The president immediately denied. “Drill it into your head! You're an idol who's 16 and has 2 kids. If people find out, your idol life will be over.”
Aqua realised there's a reason Ai's career is still surviving. Saitou was always there to be her clutch.
“They'll also question my responsibility as your director, and that'll be the end of my company,” Saitou continued as Ai handed Ruby to Miyako. “So you can't go shopping with your kids or handle their documents, that will be our job, even in an emergency.”
“Eh? Such a pain. So annoying, right Ruby?” She glances down at Aqua.
“That's Aqua…”
He sighs. Ai is hopeless as a mother but Aqua is glad to have the company's support so maybe this family will be alright.
“We don't have much time until rehearsal. Let's get going.” The president says.
“Alright.”
But when Ai is about to stand up, Aqua accidentally pulls her shirt.
Revealing her boobs.
Aqua sighs as he immediately pulls her shirt up to cover her.
This is not the first time he saw Ai like this, much to his horror. Aqua always hopes this is the last time it will happen, but he knows that's wishful thinking considering the fact he's a baby.
At times like this, Aqua wants to grow up quickly.
“Oh oopsies!” Ai chuckles. “I almost showed my boobs to the president.”
The president sighs like a tired father, Aqua feels for his suffering.
“Just be careful in public,” he says.
Please! Saitou Ichigo, take care of Ai! This is too Dangerous! Aqua internally screams as he tries to make eye contact with the president.
Aqua found out later, he is, in fact, correct about the assumption.
Sitting in front of the TV—he’s grateful that he’s able to walk now despite still being a toddler—Aqua watches in a channel where B-Komachi will appear. Miyako and Ruby meanwhile are sleeping.
Ai nodded to the MC on the singing show. “Oh yeah! Speaking of food, earlier, my baby—”
Aqua spilled his milk.
“Your baby?”
“Oh no, I mean my baby cat! Yeah!” She rushly says, “I started taking care of one during my break!”
“Oh I see…”
Yep, we're doomed.
Thankfully, people immediately moved on as the camera got ready for B-Komach to start their performance.
He goes back to drinking from the bottle because babies need milk like this when they refuse to do breastfeeding. He then looks over at Ruby who is sleeping peacefully as their babysitter sleeps soundly on the couch.
Uhh… who the hell sleeps when they need to supervise a baby? Especially before going to sleep, Miyako didn't even try to make Aqua fall asleep. Ruby is another breed though, she falls asleep once soft bed hits her face.
Aqua would've been horrified if a person he knew did this, but Ruby and Aqua are weird babies, so it's a blessing in disguise.
Anyway, he doesn't wake his sister up.
Ai starts singing.
Sign is B (Chu)
As always, Ai shines the most on stage.
It was as if all of the people's attention should be on her, demanding everyone to look at her.
Even if she moves around, eyes follow her.
It made Aqua vibrate on his seat.
B-Komachi! Fuffuu!
B-Komachi! Fuffuu!
Finally, we meet, how delightful
The other members choreographed the dance properly as the dance is treated with Ai always in the center, then moving out of Ai's way.
They look like back-up dancers.
Aqua blurrily remembers when the B-Komachi were still 13 years old, another person was also singing half of the song, while some parts are for Ai's. Or maybe memories were playing on him? He's not sure.
Anyway…
Even if you're a shut-in, even if you're shy.
Show a different side than usual (Fuwa! Fuwa!)
Ai grins mischievously in a cute way that can make people fond.
She controls the tune of the song with no effort, it didn't surprise Aqua because Ai was constantly practising on home for her comeback.
From an objective point of view, it's too risky for a president to take Ai back after continuing her pregnancy. Hell will rain down upon the company if Japan finds out but….
Aqua smiles at Ai who shines so bright.
He understands why the president keeps her.
No matter if the audience is there or not, it doesn't matter
No matter if the venue is big or small, I don't care
I can see clearly your glow stick
This song is the most popular song of B-Komachi. Aqua noticed in his previous life that the company decided to have the same themes and similar arrangements as this song has with the next albums.
He can't help but feel Ai's potential as a singer is such a waste when she can sing a song that's not always upbeat as this—
Aqua shakes his head.
He knows how to sing but is not a professional! So he should stop critiquing it!
Yes, he should be grateful that he's even a son of his favourite idol.
Speaking of…
Aqua smiles at the thought. He’s almost grateful to the person who murdered him.
Look, look, something's starting!
This story with you…
Ah, what a splendid view!
“Wait…”
Uh oh.
“Why didn't you wake me up!” Ruby crawls in front of the TV. “Kya!! Mama's soooo cute! Everyone watching this should pay a million! Her expression when she turns! That devil-ishness, wait, maybe she's a devil?! Oh shoot, I just got my diaper changed but I'm about to spill again—”
And his sister yaps non stop.
Aqua focuses on watching Ai again.
But his twin sister pokes him on the cheek, attention shifting away from the television. “Ugh, live streams are only valuable when you watch the actual stream! Why didn't you wake me up? This body is always tired so we need to help each other out!”
“I tried to wake you up several times.”
“Eh? Seriously?”
Nope, but let's pretend it happened.
After the singing show ended, Ruby turned to face him.
“I want to get my diaper changed so go away.”
“Alright, alright!”
Ruby cries for Miyako’s help.
Their babysitter comes over with a displeased look on her face, it's obvious she just woke up. “Do I have to do this every time?” She murmurs as she helps Ruby. “Of course I will, knowing Saitou! He already— ”
When Miyako finishes her task, she stands up with an outraged look on her face. “I'm the wife of the president of strawberry productions, I'm still married to him because of that!”
She throws the used diapers in the bin. “But as soon as we got married, that idol got pregnant! She's a single mother who won't even disclose to us who the father is! It's way too shady,” Miyako screams in frustration. “I didn't even marry him to become a babysitter! Hell, I handled his company when he was away from Tokyo!”
Aqua crawls out from where he was hiding while Ruby crawls to his side.
Ruby frowns at Miyako. “If you can help mama, that's gotta be the best job out there. Is there something wrong with her head?”
He sweats. “Actually he has a point.”
“Wait but… Isn’t this a perfect scandal?”--What? No way is she implying— “That's it…! I can sell this information online and get rich.”
Shit.
“Holy crap!” Ruby whisper-yells. “What should we do, kill her?”
“We won't be able to, the difference in our physical abilities is too big.”
“Ok, I said that as a joke but you're actually thinking about it?”
Aqua ignores her as he watches Miyako shouting about not caring anymore. Shit, how can they handle this situation?! They're only babies!
But they are not ordinary babies—
“Aqua!” Ruby grabs his attention. “She's taking pictures of mama's album!!”
Narrowing his eyes, Aqua whispers his plan to Ruby.
As their plan is put into action, Miyako keeps mumbling.
“I'll sell this and use the money for a host club.” She smirks but her mouth trembles. “I can get a man—”
“What a miserable girl, no champagne could ever quench your heart.
Miyako jerks back in shock, “Who's there?!”
She turns around only to find Aqua and Ruby sitting on the table, glaring down at her.
“I…” Aqua swallows. “I am a messenger from heaven. Those misdeeds of yours…” Fuck, he hopes this plan will work. “... Are something I can no longer overlook!”
“A messenger of god?” Miyakon mumbles in confusion, “And the babies talk…”
“You must believe.”
Miyako chuckles nervously. “No way!” She looks around. “I see! This is a talking event, right? A surprise even for Ai's manager or something! Happens all the time!”
Aqua jaw shuts. This will be difficult…
“So where is the camera?” Miyako keeps looking around, before her sight goes to the babies again, who were still sitting on the table.
She reaches out for Ruby. “Hey Ruby, it's not safe for you to be up on a desk like that—”
But Ruby slaps her hands away. “Quiet. I am the embodiment of Amaterasu. I am what you call God.”
Miyako's eyes widened in shock and disbelief, even Aqua's eyes did but not for the same reason as their babysitter. It's because…
“You've been blinded by money in front of you, and now you are on the verge of going against God's will.”
“God's will?”
How the hell is her sister so good at acting?
“Hoshino Ai was chosen to be the next Goddess of entertainment. Hence, her children also carry great destinies.” Ruby calmly says as she looks down at Miyako like a bug she can crush. “It is God's will for you to guard and nurture these children. Your current actions are the ones that go directly against God. At this rate, you shall be facing divine punishment.”
“Divine punishment? What do you mean by divine punishment?! What would happen to me exactly?!” Miyako asks as she panics.
“What exactly?” Ruby subtly turns to Aqua. “Well, basically…”
“You die.” Aqua casually mentions.
“Yes!” Ruby screams at Miyako's face. “You die!”
Miyako is now crying. “That's too specific!” She clasps her hands together. “What… should I do?”
“Easy,” Ruby closes her eyes, but her mouth is on the move. “You must protect the secret of Ai and her kids. Dote on them, and listen to everything they say.”
‘Everything,’ huh? The audacity of his sister…
…Aqua approves.
Ruby continues. “With that, remarrying a hot actor might be a possibility.”
“Really!?” As if a switch has been turned on, Miyako grins. “I'll listen to everything!! I'll even lick your shoes.”
“You do not need to go that far,” Ruby wryly says.
Miyako starts enthusiastically cleaning the house, even humming some songs. Wow, so her mood can be turned into that, huh?
“That was great acting,” Aqua comments, “Having an adult around who partially knows about us, and being able to do what we want from here on out is a good move on your part.”
Ruby grins. “We can even go outside!”
“Thanks to you.” He smiles fondly. “Were you an actress in your past life or something?”
“Nope, that was my first time.”
“First time?” Aqua blinks in astonishment. “You never did theatre or school plays?”
“I grew up in a not-normal environment.” She says grimly.
Got it. No more asking about it.
"Well, you have raw talent.” Aqua starts to crawl away from her. “You should be an actress in the future.”
“The future…” She repeats in a somewhat confused tone. What's with that? Well, that's none of Aqua's business.
When night comes over, Aqua was surprised to see Ruby sleeping on the couch, cell phone in hand.
She sure has time to use a phone… Not that it hurts anyone. This phone is from Ai but it's one of the phones she barely uses.
Aqua doesn't know why Ai has multiple phones.
Shaking his head, he walks back from their room and grabs a blanket. He then walks toward Ruby.
Thinking about Ruby's quirks, it reminds him of…
“I really love B-Komachi but Ai is my favourite.” Sarina grinned at Gorou. “But you're as much as my favourite, doctor Gorou.”
Gorou smirked. “Is that so?” He shook his head. “Now tell me what you really want. You never compliment me this much if you want something from me.”
Sarina pouted. “I'm just telling you about my love for you.”
“More than usual.” He agrees. “So? What do you want?”
“... Sing me a song again, please.”
“I don't know why but she reminds me of you,” Aqua put the blanket on Ruby. “Sarina.”
But before Aqua can go, Ruby shifts into her sleep, eventually waking up.
“Did you call me, Aqua?”
“No,” Aqua sheepishly says, “Sorry if I woke you up though.”
Ruby just nods, she subconsciously grabs the blank on her shoulder, and decides to go back to her bed as Aqua turns the television on.
Hmm, she might be more tired than usual because…
She just imagined her brother saying her previous name; Sarina.
Notes:
(Also Aqua is not wrong. People in their 30's are still young imo lol)
And yes, in this fic, Aqua has a problem forgetting some things from his past life.
I really want to explore an adult person reincarnating as a baby, the manga didn't explored this much of this aspect, just some info here and there.
Chapter 3: Book 1: The Ai from B-komachi
Summary:
“Do you think…” Ai ponders as if she's hesitating to speak, “We need to change the arrangements and composition in our song?”
“You mean right now?” Even in practice, Watanabe always wears two pigtails. Her green eyes stare incredulously at Ai.
Ai waves her hand in denial. “No, no, no.” She chuckles. “I'm just asking…”
“Is this about our music not being good enough?” Meimei intercepts as she puts a hand on Watanabe's shoulders.
“They are right about that,” Takamine says.
“Takamine—” Nino frowns.
“What? It's true!” She says with a shrug. “And we're not even singing the Sign B—we sung some parts of it, sure. But most of the lyrics? It's only Ai.”
Just like that, the atmosphere drops.
Notes:
For clarifications, this story is rewrite so many characters has different backstories. The charcaters' that has fully changed background in this story is Gorou/Aqua, Ai and Akane. Ruby/Sarina has similar backstories to their canon counterpart but I did added some few things in her story, while Kana still stays the same (although Kana's character development will be changed in here)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It's the day of B-Komachi's return. Saitou almost vibrated from where he stood.
“We're switching cameras in 30 seconds!” The camera man says. “Good luck! I hope to see a wonderful performance!”
As the camera men were getting ready, a female worker behind him spoke.
“Do you know this B-komachi group?”
“Nope,” he says blankly. “Not interested either.”
Saitou pretended not to hear the comments, eyes solely on his idol group.
“I've heard their recordings, they're neither good nor bad.”
“I guess groups like these sell nowadays.”
“Seems like the only good thing about them is their center.”
“The center looks like a foreigner.”
“I've heard about them but haven't made progress in the last 10 months or so.”
“They're probably not well known.”
“Strawberry productions? Never heard of them.”
“The girl with the big boobs should be a model.”
Saitou almost sighs, he's already numb in this kind of situation. It's the life of someone who tried to survive in this kind of industry.
In the entertainment world. Behind every smile, there's a calculated lie. No one can afford to create an opening during a livestream, everyone will pick the entertainer’s calls and trash it with no remorse.
In order to get the best possible performance from a celebrity, even staff spit out lies.
Same goes for the big shots, they make it seem like they create good things for society, when all they care about is numbers. Everyone lies, even if they don't want to.
Saitou grins.
They'll take on the challenge. So bring it on!
Their Ai up there is a magnificent liar.
***
It’s been a few months since Ai returned to work.
And B-Komachi's popularity boost has yet to come.
Well, the B-Komachi is already popular but not popular enough to be on the top 10 best idols in Japan. Ai deduces that B-Komachi is in the top 50.
“My salary this month is barely 200,000 yen.” Ai grimly stares at her salary, her two children blinking at the salary and then to Ai. “Ugh, our company is so low… c'mon, we placed third in the oricon with our single last time!"
“We're a small company, not a big company that can do everything from production to advertisement.” Miyako continues typing on her laptop. “You should already know that we don't get much, why is it bothering you now?”
“I realised that the world is all about money.”
Miyako winces. “Not a good thing to realise.”
“Being an idol is fun, if it was just me, this money would be fine.” Ai picks up Ruby and raises her up in the air carefully. “But you see, I want these kids to go to a good school. Do extracurricular activities and give them as many opportunities and options as possible.”
I don't want them to end up like me.
“In order for that to happen, I need to sell more and make a bunch of money,” Ai continues. “If things stay like this, I won't be able to make them happy.”
Her mind came rushing back to the memories she has with the doctor. All of Ai’s memories with the doctor always make her fond.
Especially when Gorou Amamiya is one of her normal fans she interacts and gives genuine criticism…
“Cute themes are not going to stick in your group.”
“Ah, so you finally answered me.”
“You did ask multiple times from the perspective of objectivity.”
“Elaborate, please.”
“For short; you'll grow up to the point that cute themes will not suit you anymore.”
When Ai heard that, it honestly stung. Perhaps Gorou saw something in her face because he winced in guilt at that time.
That's the first and last time Gorou fully critiqued her. Even though she begged him for months to tell her more, Gorou just gave Ai some crumbs here and there.
It's so frustrating that the damn doctor was being soft with her. Gorou just looked amused whenever Ai stared at him with a frustrating look.
Ai grabs her bag and gets ready to leave the apartment, the B-Komachi practice is about to start in an hour. She then kissed Aqua and Ruby’s foreheads.
When she left, thoughts about money came back to her.
She knew it's hard to produce a lot of cash when costumes are always deducted from her salaries, there's even the TV performances fee, or even the merch.
Speaking of merch…
Ai knows her merch is more in demand than the other members, Ai hates that fact. Many love her but people close to her dislike her.
The thing is…Ai has been in the industry for so long. She knows she's good, way too good according to the other B-Komachi members. But she needs something that can make her stand out, not just the good center from the B-Komachi.
Remembering what Gorou said, Ai realised something.
Strawberry productions always play safe.
Can she risk doing another theme other than being cute?
Ai shakes her head and enters the Strawberry production building.
A perfect smile drawn on her face.
She greets the staff she meets on the way as if there's nothing bothering her.
Before she knows it, she's right in front of the practice room.
Ai breathes out, and enters the room.
“Good morning!” Ai exclaims enthusiastically.
“Good morning,” the other members greet her back.
As they were about to start their choreography, Ai opened her mouth.
“I have a question.” She sheepishly smiles at them.
Ari smiles at her, ready to listen. “What is it?”
Out of all the B-komachi members, Ari is her favourite. Sure, they’re not close anymore but she never talks behind her back and is always ready to support their group at any given moment.
She has sharp blue eyes that balances her maturity and cuteness. Her teal hair suits the hamster hairpin on it.
Ai clears her throat. “What do you think about the composition of our song?”
“What do you mean?” Kyun curiously asks. Her brown eyes blinked at her.
Catching their attention means having all of them want to listen to Ai's question.
I need to be careful of what I will say.
After all…
Some wish for my downfall but they also love being my pillar—I am their perfect star.
“Do you think…” Ai ponders as if she's hesitating to speak, “We need to change the arrangements and composition in our song?”
“You mean right now?” Even in practice, Watanabe always wears two pigtails. Her green eyes stare incredulously at Ai.
Ai waves her hand in denial. “No, no, no.” She chuckles. “I'm just asking…”
“Is this about our music not being good enough?” Meimei intercepts as she puts a hand on Watanabe's shoulders.
“They are right about that,” Takamine says.
“Takamine—” Nino frowns.
“What? It's true!” She says with a shrug. “And we're not even singing the Sign B—we sung some parts of it, sure. But most of the lyrics? It's only Ai.”
Just like that, the atmosphere drops.
Ari and Kyun grimace. Ai felt sorry for them, even from the start, because both of them are not included in the original 4 founders. Ai reminds herself that Ari and Kyun don't know the full story of the founder four’s fallout. At the same time, the other three look a tad uncomfortable.
Watanabe sighs. “You and your mouth, Takamine.”
Suddenly the door opens with a loud bang. Lo and behold, Saitou stood on the door, confused why the B-Komachi was crowding one another, making a circle.
“Your practice should've started minutes ago.”
“We're sorry, president!”
Everyone starts practicing.
Externally, Ai is focusing on their dance but internally she tries to calm her beating heart. She avoids the prying light blue eyes staring at her back—Nino. And she ignores the apologetic look yet nonchalant violet eyes—Takamine.
Instead, she tries to remember what Gorou said a year ago.
“If you really want another critique of mine.” He sighed. “I'll give you what your other fan says about your other music.”
If Ai’s attention was not on Gorou before, she is now. “What is it?”
“Some of your music can be too much, like it’s put together just for the sake of being upbeat.” Gorou hesitated for a moment as he watched Ai's reaction. “Sarina said your voice can be a power to use, do some rapping or low notes."
“So even Sarina has her own complaints, huh?”
“She did, but then she'll back off and say it's fine because it's you.”
Gorou was still watching Ai's expression but unfortunately for her doctor, she knew how to create a perfect mask—especially from the doctor who figured out Ai’s broken mask.
He looked away. “Anyway, if you really want someone to criticise you, go to the professionals, Ms. Hoshino.”
Ai smiled, dryly. “Sometimes, fans have more worthwhile things to say than the higher-ups.”
“That's harsh.”
“It's the truth."
***
After learning the dance by heart, Ai sits down on the couch and expresses her gratitude for having a couch in the practice area with a sigh.
Unexpectedly, two people come over to her, Ai's eyes widen momentarily.
“Ai, you seem a little down.” Nino tucks her deep violet strand behind her ears. “You just recovered so take it easy, ok?”
“Or maybe this is something to do with your question earlier?” Ari asks.
For Nino to come here and ask that… Ai must've shown some of her worries in her face.
Ai sheepishly grins. “Don't worry, it just made me realise how we depend on our cute themes.”
“That's where your thoughts went?” Nino questions.
“Yeah."
“Well, that's how it is.” Ari says, “Most Japanese idols have the bad boy theme while girls have the good girl theme.”
Oh.
In hindsight, it’s obvious why we are so dependent on the pure girl type…
“Anyway, we'll go grab a drink.” Nino tells her, “Do you want some?”
“I'm fine, I'll rest here for a while.”
“If you say so…”
Sometimes, Ai is amazed with herself at how carefully she crafts her expression once people start to take notice how much she wears her mask.
Also…
There’s a reason Ai does not go to any of their hangouts, even before she got pregnant.
Ai sighs and shakes her head.
When they left, Ai decided to go on the internet, wanting to know more about what the people said about her.
Fans tend to have more to say when they are not being a hater just for the sake of it.
But what Ai saw made her almost falter for the first time in months.
Something pierces her perfect mask.
“...That's harsh.”
Tanujirou
The way Ai smiles is neither good or bad, ya know. It's one of those typical “pro” smiles
She's kinda fake
I can't get behind her
89 Retweets 56 Quotes 2k Likes 109 Bookmarks
***
“And today, we have the B-Komachi!”
Ai greets her fans enthusiastically. She smiles and laughs like a perfect idol would do.
The particular post from the internet keeps rewinding in her mind like a parasite.
As she gets in position, she tries to suppress what she feels.
Like always.
(We! Are! Star. T. Rain)
(Ooh Haa! Fuwa! Fuwa! Fuwa! Fuwa!”
(We! Are! Star. T. Rain)
Instead of thinking about the hard stuff
We want to feel more sweet love!
Light sticks rise up.
Her pink colour is everywhere.
The B-Komachi members are in a zone.
‘Cause we're never gonna stop
Come on, put your hands in the air and wave ‘em around
We're still going!
That's right, this is Star. T. Rain
But Ai's mind comes back to that internet post.
The way Ai smiles is neither good or bad, ya know. It's one of those typical “pro” smiles.
Even if they say that… Ai was supposed to be a pro.
We wanna make some more noise
Have more fun with you
She's kinda fake…
That makes no sense whatsoever, Ai thought.
Aren't they the ones asking for an idea? Idols are supposed to pretend they are real for the fans, so how can Ai do something more real when her job stems from being a fake?
Don't you like girls who are a little bit dangerous?
Break it out
Break the impending hardship
Ah…
Everyday, when Ai was still practising to be an idol, she stared at her mirror, changed measured in millimetres. How wide her eyes should be, the angle of her mouth…
They're all calculated.
It's supposed to be a smile everyone likes the most.
What kind of advice is that? (What does that even mean?)
What am I even supposed to believe?!
They all seem like lies to me!
Be alright, for now, let's take our chances.
Ai stares at the crowd with a huge smile on her face. Again. The usual.
She hopes her enthusiasm didn't diminish.
The fans like how she is. How pure she is—or what Ai shows them.
I'm made of lies after all. Ai wryly thought.
But then—
“Baboo! Baboo!”
“Baboo! Baboo!”
Two babies are holding a lightstick inside their stroller.
Around the two babies, people express their shock and incredulous.
“What the heck in the world are the babies doing?!”
“They're doing those otaku dances!”
“They're surprisingly good at it too!”
Right by the two stroller's side, there's Miyako, jaw hanging open. She stares at them with disbelief, and with a tint of resignation.
The babies also stop what they're doing. They almost look sheepish.
“Wow…” Memei says in awe.
“That's kinda cool.” Takamine comments.
“Everyone,” Ari hisses, “Continue with the choreography.”
As everyone gets back to their position, Ai is silent but her eyes sparkles as she watches Miyako hover over her children.
She resumes the song with neither high or low but is able to maintain the note easily as if an interruption didn't happen.
Come on, put your hands in the air and wave ‘em around.
Let's keep shouting out loud!
We'll keep you entertained forever and ever
Ai grins so wide, it almost hurts.
Yes, it's weird for babies to do that but Ai knows very well her babies are different so she accepts that fact.
The only thing she can focus on is…
Her babies are so adorable!!!!
She didn't miss a step as she danced at the end.
***
“210k retweets…The video has over 2 million views…” Miyako reads as Ai, the babies, and Saitou hover around her. “I knew baby content goes viral pretty easily but this is…”
Saitou grabs his wife. “Come here.”
Miyako accepts her faith to be scolded, it's valid on the president’s part. Both of them go to the kitchen.
Meanwhile, Ai scrolls through the comments, she then sees a post about how cute her smile is, there's even a picture about it.
Anonymous ID: Ponq9gYwa
What's the girl's name?
Anonymous ID: wrnmMzK770
Wait, has Ai always smiled like that? This is a new side of her.
Tanujirou
This!!! This is it!!!
“I see…” Ai mischievously smirks, she puts a finger on her chin. “So this is what you like, now I know.”
Additionally…
The photo where she genuinely smiles also has many retweets and comments. Then, there's her babies being trending.
Two things at once. Ai is sure those two things would make the B-Komachi more popular.
Ai strokes Ruby's hair, and pats Aqua's head. Ruby decides to lay on her lap, while Aqua tilts his head in confusion.
It's guaranteed. She'll be much more exposed after this.
And when her popularity rises more…
Ai will talk with the president about changing some things in the next album.
She's thankful she had an ex-boyfriend who taught Ai how to compose music, so Ai knows more about this particular field.
Notes:
If the ending is not clear, Ai had a few boyfriends here and there other than the baby daddy (some of those are from the other mangas mwehehe)
Chapter 4: Book 1: Changing the formula
Summary:
“Wait,” Ruby blinks, “Mama is doing the production?”
“Well, she's one of the people who's in the production, she was the one to suggest it.”
“So a self-made album?!” Aqua says in shock.
Self made albums are rare but not uncommon.
But for mama to do it…?
Notes:
Idol by Yoasabi keeps repeating in my head so I thought "Yeah, make Ai the literal genuis idol"
so that's the chapter lol
I just wanna say--- Ruby and Aqua is my roman empire. The potential cute bond between the twins should've been developed before the identity reveal.
(Also this is a long chapter so... yeah)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“C'mon Aqua.” Ai has her phone in her hands, recording everything. “Smile.”
Aqua pouts at her. It makes Ai giggle because even if he doesn't want to smile, her son is being such a cutie.
“Mama.” Ruby walks over to her as she raises her arms up.
Ai smiles indulgently. She turns off her phone, puts it on the desk and carries Ruby.
Ruby is becoming heavy.
It's not a surprise when Ruby is already 1 year old, still, Ai likes to indulge her like this because…
She nuzzles her hair and hugs her daughter tightly.
Her children are growing up too fast.
So no one can blame Ai when she spoils her children like this. Furthermore, Ai is getting busier these days. She shoots as a model, visits variety shows and sometimes she's a guest on a radio show.
People love Ai from B-Komachi.
She can't say the same for the other B-Komachi members.
***
“Are you sure about this, Ai?” Saitou asks from where he sat.
Both of them are in Saitou's office as Ai stands right in front of his desk, determined to work this through.
“You know this is risky, right?”
“I know, president, but—” Ai looks out of the window. “We can't just keep playing safe.”
Saitou grimaces. “This is going to be hard.”
“I also know that.” She sighs.
For a moment, the silence engulfs them. Saitou scans the documents Ai worked on as Ai herself tries not to fidget.
“Alright.”
Ai snaps her head to Saitou, her mouth hangs open in shock, and her smile is drawn more victorious.
“But—”
She shuts her jaw, preparing for the worst.
“This will be produced as a single album. Two songs.” Saitou waves the documents a little. “Got it?”
“Yes!” Ai knows it's a reasonable compromise so she nods in agreement.
Single album only manages one or two songs. Mini albums contain five to seven songs, while Full albums have eight songs and more.
With only two songs, the management could see if this type of genre would be successful or not.
“Let me handle who will be our people in production,” Saitou says. “You can go now!”
Ai grins. “Thank you president!”
She left the office with a smile on her face. Maybe she can tell the other B-Komachi members about this news? Wait, she needs to tell them first about the plan.
They'll be delighted knowing Ai is not the only one who's going to sing most of the song. She made sure that the plan she made in her mind involves all of the members, a reasonable sharing for the seven of them.
As she is about to go to the locker room, she stops in her tracks.
Because Ai hears them loud and clear.
“Ai is stealing the show again,” Takamine abruptly says from the room.
“Yeah.” There's a defeated tone in Watanabe's sigh. “Let's do our best to be her best support.”
“It's so frustrating,” Nino says quietly. “I want to get involved there too on the stage, not as a backup dancer.”
“Yeah,” Kyun agrees easily. “It just feels like we're singing for Ai's fans, not our fans.”
“We're not even singing,” Meimei points out.
“Calm down guys,” Ari intercepts. “We sing half of the song.”
“Yeah, ¼ of the song.” Meimei rolls her eyes. “Gee, thanks Ari.”
“At least we're singing though.”
“Is that supposed to make us feel better?” Nino scoffs.
“Well—”
Ai passed by the locker room, deciding to just go to the practice room instead.
When the B-Komachi members enter the practice room, Ai greets them with a perfect smile.
Like nothing is wrong.
***
Ruby watches her mother leave in a hurry. She knows she's getting busier these days but Ruby feels lonely without her. Which is ridiculous when Ruby has Aqua and Miyako here.
But Ruby knows the real reason why she wants Ai to be here.
She suppresses the urge to think about her other mother—Sarina Tendouji’s mother.
“Hey,” Aqua pokes her on the cheeks. “Stop pouting.”
“I'm not pouting.” Ruby slaps his hand away. “I'm just worried about mama.”
Aqua nods. “At least she’s not down, unlike a few months ago.”
Yeah, Ruby still remembers that day. She's glad mama was not as down as she was before that mini concert. That was a time mama keeps staring at some space or forcefully being happy in general.
“From the looks of it, she got motivated after that mini-concert,” Ruby says.
“The only good thing that came out of that.”
“Are you still annoyed you became a meme?”
“No.”
Sure, brother of mine. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
“Hey, lady!” Ruby turns her attention to their babysitter. “Do you know why mama is getting busier these days?”
Aqua frowns. “From what I last remembered with your conversation with the president, Ai stops going to some shows for a while.”
Miyako resumes washing the dishes, already used to their questions and talking babies, she says; “I just found out yesterday Ai is making a new single album.”
Ruby and Aqua's jaws hang on the floor.
“What?!” Ruby's eyes light up in excitement. “A comeback for real?!”
“Ok, calmdowncalmdowncalmdown…” Aqua starts murmuring to himself as if he's been possessed. Maybe he did because Ruby can't blame a ghost for wanting to possess her brother—a son of Ai's.
“Wait,” Ruby blinks, “Mama is doing the production?”
“Well, she's one of the people who's in the production, she was the one to suggest it.”
“So a self-made album?!” Aqua says in shock.
Self made albums are rare but not uncommon.
But for mama to do it…?
“But… Mama never did that, right?” From her life as Sarina, she knew that fact or maybe four years passed so it changed.
If the latter is true, it makes Ruby sad that she keeps missing these kinds of things, despite the fact she tries to catch up with everything she has missed with the power of the internet. It's why she's always on the phone.
That statement brings Aqua back to reality. “Wait, you're right. Ai never did that.”
Something heavy lifted up from Ruby’s chest.
Miyako finished washing the dishes. “This is the first time Ai will do something like this,” she says as she sits down. “Even Saitou is proud.”
It's starting to sink into Ruby's head that Saitou is Ai's pseudo father.
Then again, the strawberry production released Ai’s background years ago.
From what Ruby knew, mama was left in the children’s home years ago. Then, Saitou picked her up and became Ai’s adopted father. Saitou stated in the news that he didn't expect Ai to have talent, so he gave Ai an opportunity.
People question if it's nepotism but other people think it's fair for Ai to be given this kind of opportunity when she has an unfair life.
Hmm. Did that make Aqua and Ruby the grandchildren of Saitou Ichigo…? Ah right, Saitou is also married to Miyako, so does that mean their babysitter is their grandmother all along?
Ruby stares at some space, mulling the conclusion. At the same time, Aqua keeps waving his hand in front of Ruby's face.
***
Ruby wakes up with no reason.
She glances at the sleeping Ai, and smiles. It's good mama is having a peaceful break after being busy with work.
It still feels surreal to have her limbs move with no drawbacks. She’s like a bird who’s finally been freed from her cage after 1000 years being locked up.
But if she's a bird like that, she should've died being stuck there for 1000 years, and birds can't live that long.
Heh, Ruby smirks.
She did die but she eventually lived.
Anyway, Ruby decides to go to her phone—or well, mama's phone.
Should she contact sensei? But what if the doctor doesn't believe she's Sarina?
Truth to be told, Ruby is still scared to contact her doctor. She doesn't know why but she's scared.
As Ruby is about to get her phone, she notices her brother is not there with them.
This is not the first time it has happened. Sure, some nights Aqua sleeps like the dead, but other nights Aqua is in the living room.
Alright, her mind made up.
Ruby stands up, she leaves her sleeping mama alone, and goes to Aqua. It will definitely be the first time she wants to look for her twin brother.
And she's right, Aqua is in the living room.
“What's wrong?” Ruby asks as she walks toward her brother.
Also, having a brother feels so surreal to her.
Reincarnated like her.
It makes her feel not alone if Aqua is by her side.
Aqua is not surprised to see Ruby there and he also didn't say anything, but he didn't tell her to go away even as Ruby sat by his side on the floor.
“Nothing…” He murmurs eventually. “Just a nightmare.”
He keeps quiet after that. If Ruby could guess, it's from their previous life.
Ruby nods easily, if he doesn't want to say something, that's fine for her. She also doesn't want to speak about her past life, even if her memory as Sarina looks so clear in her brain.
“Can you…” Aqua swallows. “Please distract me, or say anything.”
She accepts the job easily, Ruby is one of the greatest conversationalists, so she is perfect for this job.
The one that will distract Aqua is…
“What do you think of mama's plan for the new single album?”
And just like that, Aqua’s attention diverted to something more… light. Ruby smiles at her brother indulgently.
“Remember Ai releasing her latest song before that mini concert?”
“The Star.T.Rain.”
“That.” Aqua confirms. “It became a hit in the charts, and when that mini concert began, her aura in that concert was different and us babies became a meme.”
“So you finally admit it's a meme,” Ruby says in triumph. “As expected of my smart brother.”
“Ugh shush.”
Although his tone was annoyed, there's a smile on Aqua's face. It also made Ruby feel relieved.
“Anyways,” Aqua continues, “That's the beginning of her popularity, and if the single album becomes a hit…”
Ruby smiles. “It excites you what will mama become, right?”
“Yes!” He exclaims. “She's really amazing, right?”
She raises an eyebrow to the goofy smile on her brother's face.
“Just so you know, a creepy otaku is the worst in the world, they should sell their organs to mama.” Ruby glares at her brother pointly.
“Oi! You're much worse otaku than me.”
“Well, tell me what's your reason for becoming a fan of Ai from B-Komachi.”
Aqua just stares at her, his face blank.
That's when Ruby realised she just demanded him to talk about his past life when they silently just agreed not to talk about it.
“Uh wait— sorry—”
“—I had a patient.”
Ruby's mouth clicks shut. She stares at her brother with a wide eye. At the same time, Aqua pulls his knees together and hugs them.
She did not expect Aqua to be a doctor in his last life.
He continues. “She reminded me of my sister—my past life's sister.” He stares at the black screen of the TV. "My patient was also a fan of Ai.”
Ruby keeps quiet as she lets her brother talk. Maybe this is overdue.
“Eventually, I also became Ai's fan.” Aqua chuckles as his eyes play certain memories. “When I watch her, I realise how she fakes a smile yet she is having fun on the stage.”
Mama faking a smile? That's impossible because Ai from B-Komachi is a pure person to Sarina.
Or maybe that's Aqua’s interpretation.
“Ai Hoshino enjoys something at a young age, it made me love that part of her.” He says, “And I also envy her.”
So it's Ruby’s cue to talk. “Were you not enjoying your life then?”
“No.”
“But you were a doctor.”
Aqua drily smiles. “There's some aspects I liked as a doctor but it also made me feel so lonely.”
Ruby doesn’t admit it but Aqua reminds her of someone.
But it's impossible that they are the same person when the doctor that Ruby loves never had a patient who was a fan of Ai. She knows that very well—at least before Sarina died.
Because Gorou Amamiya is always surrounded by multiple people.
Despite being an obstetrician, Sensei visited every patient's room at the Miyazaki hospital and gave each of them company. That's what Ruby loves about sensei—his unconditional kindness.
Also, Ruby prefers the love of her life and her brother to be a separate entity.
“Hey, Ruby.”
Ruby turns her head to Aqua, snapping out from her thoughts.
“I’ve been curious…” Aqua trails off. “But how old were you when you died?”
She’s about to open her mouth but an unexpected thought comes over to her.
Thinking about it, Aqua was a doctor in his previous life. From what sensei told him, being an official doctor takes years so Aqua is definitely older than her. Hell, even older than Ai which is weird.
So if Ruby reveals her real age as being 12 years old…
Her imagination Aqua scoffs at her in disbelief. “You died at 12 years old? How dare you treat me as your baby brother?! You should respect me from now on.”
Fires surround Aqua as he demands Ruby to respect her senior from now on.
Ruby swipes her hair in an elegant way she always saw on TV. “Don't you know asking a woman's real age is rude?!”
Aqua deadpans at her. “Keep your secrets then.”
Desperate to change the subject, Ruby tries to think of some topics to talk about. “So that's the reason you love Ai? Not that she's great at singing or not inspired to be a great singer like her?”
He rolls her eyes. “Are you not listening? How can I become a singer when I’m already a doctor?”
She pouts, but Ruby knows Aqua has a point. Her mind momentarily forgot his past career.
“Well I did dream to be an entertainer once.” Aqua mutters quietly looking away from her.
Ruby blinks.
“Although…” Aqua smirks at her, changing the subject. “Many people did say I'm good at singing.”
“Really?!” Ruby leans over to him. “Sing for me then.”
Aqua looks nervous. “I mean my past life body is great at singing, I don't know about this body though.”
“Then try it,” She shrugs. “There's nothing to lose.”
“Ugh, fine.” Aqua clears his throat, his eyes nervously darted to Ruby, and then he opens his mouth.
She made a lovely debut
But is she great at the taboo?
She's been lock for so many years now
I hope she goes to the perfect ending
It's an english song. Ruby watches her brother sing in a perfect low tone as the melody she hears perfectly matches with the tone.
Suddenly, her mind goes back to her doctor. When sensei finds out Sarina loves to hear music, he starts singing for her.
She loves music because something about the tune, melody, arrangement, composition and everything else in between makes her perfectly relaxed and thinks ‘Ah, maybe there's a hope in this cruel world’.
And right now, she is hearing a sad but hopeful song from her brother’s throat.
“You should become a singer,” Ruby suddenly says.
Aqua stops singing as he looks at her in disbelief.
“Me? A singer?” He says incredulously.
“You did say you hated becoming a doctor,” Ruby pointed out, “But you love to see mama on stage, maybe you might like being a singer or perhaps an idol.”
But Aqua didn't say anything, his face twists—contemplating the idea though.
“Think about it,” Ruby says. “You have the raw talent for singing at this age.”
“I guess you're right.”
“Heh, of course I am.”
“But I don't think I'm fond of being a singer though, too much work.”
“Ok, grandpa.”
“Ugh, your annoying self is back.”
“That won't go.” Ruby stands up, she then pulls Aqua to her height. “I don't like your sulking so let's go back to sleep.”
Aqua snorts. “Sure.”
She held her brother's hands tightly as they went back to the futon.
Right now, Ruby loves her life. She never had a sibling so she's ecstatic to have one, and she has a mother who is her bias.
If only Sarina's life was not too intertwined with Ruby's life, it would've been a perfect life to have. The scars she got from being Sarina Tendouji are still there as Hoshino Ruby.
Although… Ruby is happy to have a mother and brother who clearly cares about her.
Maybe someday, Ruby will have the courage to face her past as Sarina—and to also talk to his sensei.
But not right now.
In this life, Ruby is glad she has time unlike her past self.
***
Ruby sits on Ai's lap while Aqua sits on Ai's side. The three of them are prepared to watch the TV for the music video that the Hoshino family have been anticipating for months. Ruby is excited to see another song from Ai!
It's actually a surprise that it took so long for mama's song to be made.
As the commercial resumes, Ai's hold in Ruby’s arms tightens.
“I hope the fans will like it…” Ai smiles nervously as Ruby tilts her head up. “This is the first time I led half of the direction and production—thankfully someone I knew helped me though.”
Ruby feels her throat clog up, it's the first time she ever saw mama nervous. She doesn't know what to say to this kind of Ai from B-Komachi.
Unexpectedly, Aqua puts a hand on Ai's elbows, and pats it.
Ai blinks at her son.
Suddenly, Ai puts her arms around Aqua's body and tries to squish Ruby and Aqua together.
“Why are my children so cute!!?” Ai squeals as she hugs both of them.
Aqua frowns, likely trying to say he can't breathe but he caught himself because both of them should not be speaking coherently for 2 year old babies.
Still, Ruby glares at him. He should be lucky to be hugged by mama and not complain about it.
At least mama is also hugging me, not just Aqua.
That's when the music video starts.
Ruby watches mama's music videos numerous times as Sarina. She even memorised all of the dance moves there. So she was already expecting an upbeat start and the choreography to show.
But Ruby did not expect to hear the bass of guitar to play softly as Ari appears walking downstairs in the video, looking like a princess.
She has her signature green gown but there's a tint of blue on the edges, she smiles at the extras who are wearing knight armors, and then she takes a glance at the maids. Then, Takamine, who wore a beautiful blue dress and gloves on her hands, greets Ari.
A piano suddenly accompanies the guitar. An abrupt hook from the viewers made its way to the guitar that perfectly suits the piano’s rhythm.
Ari opens her mouth.
I look at them
We see the responsibility
I look at you
I see the mirror
Ari looks over at the knights and the maids. Then, her face turns towards Takamine with a sheepish smile. A sudden swift piano takes a slight high note.
I hope you help me with this
You and I are the same
I hope they’ll know our feelings
Ruby blinks, this is not the usual B-Komachi. Moreover, this music video didn't start with stage singing, it starts with imagery which is highly unusual for an idol music video.
She then sees Takamine sing her note, while Nino comes over behind her, both of them singing the same thing. Then, Meimei bows in greeting as the others also did.
The maids supports us
The knights fight our wars
Royal decree
Loyal decree
The note of the music takes a beat, the bass guitar and piano takes a majestic rhythm as if they are in a fairy tale. Ruby realises the chorus enters from here on out.
Princesses like us helps each other
We smile for the image
We smile for the people
Feelings hopes to get through
The three of them did their cheoreo, they did it with their gowns with ease. With their feet, their dress has the beautiful swift on them.
Then a bop of the glitch heard from the music, the three bodies of B-Komachi froze. Then, the guitar takes a sharp turn as the transition goes to Ai's face.
Ai’s makeup and long dress are more dark, but not gloomy. Her appearance is more purple than her usual pink signature. It’s not menacing, in fact, Ai’s appearance looks beautiful in Ruby's opinion.
Although, the camera keeps panning on their faces so Ruby can't see their whole body.
Why depend on them?
When you can help yourself
Heh~ Can't do it yourself?
The way Ai breathed out the last part is so breathy, it looks like she was provoking the viewers. Then, Watanabe and Kyun appear by her side, they hold their hands out, and Ai takes it.
But when I look at you
I also see the mirror
But when you look at me
I help the person in front of the mirror
Kyun nods and smirks at Watanabe. She starts to sing the next lyrics, Watanabe follows as the background melody of Kyun. Perfectly harmonising.
Royal decree?
Shameful decree
We fight our own wars
But you can't even take the battle
The three of them start harmonising in the 3rd part, Ai smirks as she moves in the centre as she opens her mouth.
Then, the camera pans out. It reveals their lower dresses were ripped apart, so their dress is below the knee.
Civilians serves us
So we serve them
We smile and laugh
Knowing the feelings get through
Ai glares at the screen as she looks at it with disgrace. Watanabe laughs at her part in the lyrics. The four members dance as if they are fighting the battle, then the rhythm of the bass turns low, and the bridge appears.
Tik tak tok
Inside the castle is the battle
The transition turns to Nino as she glares at the camera, singing her part.
Tik tak tok
The fight is outside the castle
Ai says with a mocking smirk.
Tik tak tok
There's no difference between us
The first part this time, turns to a whisper.
There's a moment of silence before all B-Komachi members had the same choreography. Their movements are rough but there's a unique style on it. The B-komachi's dance movement is usually dynamic, but this is more sharp than they ever did.
As they sing and dance, the scenes are cut to the maids in the castle, civilians' everyday life and knights preparing for their weapons.
The twins watch in astonishment throughout all of it.
At the end
I saw something in the mirror
We saw each other
Then it ended. just as fast as their heartbeats were rising.
There's a silence around the room.
Ai chuckles nervously. “Is it bad?”
Suddenly, Aqua faints.
“Aqua?!” She shouts as she grabs her son.
Ruby can't even breath as she gasps out air. “Mama…!”
Ai turns to Ruby with a shock on her face. “Ruby?!”
Later that night, Ai will realise her children love the music video too much as they talk about how amazing the video was—albeit incoherent, and then she also sees them trying to search for it on the internet.
This is also the start for her children to talk in full sentences even if it's not clear yet. Ai is delighted with the development!
Seriously, her children are weird and smart. They are cute so it's fine with Ai.
***
Strawberry production
@BKomachiOfficial 1 hour ago
B-Komachi new music video [Mirror]
(Attached video)
93k replies 103k retweets 188k hearts
^
LeeSejin
@mybaemylove
What the hell did I just saw
38 replies 569 retweets 1.5k hearts
^
B-Komachi for life
@Ai_the_one
A masterpiece
11 replies 790 retweets 2k hearts
Maya the bird
@casualfan
B-Komachi never done this
19 replies 500 retweets 599 hearts
Something happens
@lolmylifeheh
I love this song more than the other songs
20 replies 1k retweets 999 hearts
AiBkomachi_forme
@XutieAi
What the hell??? I was hoping for a cute Ai not this
26 replies 200 retweets 309 hearts
^
Larry_The_eagle
@basketlifetime
Weirdo
1 reply 67 retweets 97 hearts
Alexa Chung
@Mobbingthemob
The music video feels like a movie!
0 replies 2 retweets 5 hearts
Production Santos
@Yeyme
The budget went out of the window
2 replies 6 retweets 10 hearts
Lea Michele
@Nino&Ai
Am I the only one who feels like this kind of Ai is much prettier than the usual Ai?
10 replies 3 retweets 56 hearts
^
Carl John
@fuckmylife
Just say she's hot
3 replies 2 retweets 10 hearts
^
Niña
@NiñaMyth
Dude, she's a minor
1 replies 0 retweets 3 hearts
^
Carl John
@fuckmylife
*18
0 replies 0 retweets 1 hearts
Mendez Gi
@asdfghhjkl
omg Kyun is so beautiful here
1 replies 1 retweets 3 hearts
^
KyuCutie
@KyunFTW
Finally someone sees Kyun’s worth
0 replies 4 retweets 11 hearts
AiStan
@Ai_Imafan
I didn't know I need Ai like this in my life
1 replies 1 retweets 7 hearts
^
Oof
@xasual
Same
0 replies 0 retweets 1 hearts
YouTube
Music Video of [Mirror] by B-Komachi
53k likes 1.1k dislikes
-The video is so interesting I want to dissect it
-Ari is so pretty here
-The bridge???? It's been playing on my mind
-Tiktaktok where have you been on my life
-Guys Ai is seducing me
-All of them are princesses here, right? But what do the people they serve mean—which is the civilians, knights and maids.
^
-Chill, it's just a video
-Is there a storyline in this?? It will be interesting if there is!!
-Nino is so cute here!!
-What the hell is this? It's not even suited for a girl idol group. A shame it will be a failure.
^
-The fact many people likes it tells me something
***
Two days later, another music video was released.
It's a simple music video with low budget
And yet…
It’s higher than the Mirror song.
***
The music video contains what's happening backstage with B-Komachi.
The video’s quality in this was purposeful, wherein the word ‘record’ is being shown on the screen.
Many staff running around, idols preparing for the performance, and the backstage people scan the stage.
The scene transitions to the members who are about to go to stage. One by one, they went to the stage, until Ai was left last.
Ai smiled at the camera. Her mouth moved.
1, 2, 3
Let the show start
The screen went black.
Suddenly, an intense drum roll was heard. The drums beat intensely as the scene flashes with B-Komachi performing every stage.
Let the show start
The lyrics echoed as Ai walked in the centre and smirked at the camera.
This time the screen is much clearer.
The royal decree is here
Idol who serves you
Giving you the best shot
It's an upbeat song but not their usual B-Komachi’s tune. This music has remix elements in the background, as if mixed emotions shouts at each other.
Yet the tune is easy to follow as some electro is on the move.
You fought our wars
So we're here to entertain
Princess serving their people
The beats keep getting louder but not too much for the ears, it's building up to chorus.
Tik tak Tok La di da di da
B-Komachi here! Starting the show
Tik tak Tok La di da di da
B-Komachi here! Reborn for the stage
The first and 3rd part of the lyrics always start slow, almost with a sigh. But the next part goes fast.
The chorus is so catchy, even for the people who are not used to this kind of song, they have repeated this song multiple times.
***
YouTube
Music video of [Reborn] by B-Komachi
68k likes 1.2k dislikes
-I am gagged
-Yes, Ai go for it girl
-Nino my love you're so cute
-Help the song keeps repeating in my head
^
RIP (same)
-Wait, is it connected with the Mirror song?
^
You're right, there's some storyline going on in here
^
B-Komachi has done it!
-The choreography feels the same but different from what they did in their concert 4 months ago
-Theory time! The B-Komachi was reborn as the idols and their people was reborn as their fans
^
You're onto something
-Meimei I love you!
-Takamine was dashing in this
-Did they use some scenes from what happened during their real concert?
Strawberry production
@BKomachiOfficial 30 minutes ago
B-Komachi new music video [Reborn]
(Attached video)
93k replies 103k retweets 188k hearts
^
Lea Michele
@Nino&Ai
Holy shit this went beyond our expectations
22 replies 3k retweets 48k hearts
B-Komachi for life
@Ai_the_one
Where the hell did this production come from?
11 replies 790 retweets 2k hearts
KittyKat
@pussinboots
Suddenly, I'm a fan
15 replies 890 retweets 1.8k hearts
^
Tanujirou
@slayerfan
Welcome to the club
0 replies 87 retweets 505 hearts
Mr Rogers
@pewjapan
Click under the link for the music video analysis
[Attached link]
1 replies 200 retweets 3k hearts
^
Shaohao
@Meimay
Guys super recommended
0 replies 89 retweets 785 hearts
***
“The songs have been a hit on Oricon, Zip, and so on,” Saitou declares to Ai and Miyako, also the twins too. “Plenty of people are buying copies—we already hit millions.”
They gather around the living room, silence descends upon them.
It's been 2 weeks since the music video has been released.
A moment after, Miyako smiles at Ai, “I didn't expect you to be good at handling the production, be proud of yourself, Ai.”
At this comment, Ai grins, one of her genuine smiles.
Saitou raises his fist in the air. “Success is at the tip of our hands!”
“President!” Ai hugs Saitou, making herself more heavy in Saitou’s arms.
Suddenly, they started dancing with each other. Miyako stares at the two of them with a disbelieving look while the twins just go with the flow and start clapping.
“Am I the normal person here?” Miyako mutters but there's a smile on her face.
The twins grins at each other as Miyako watches Ai and Saitou twirling around with each other with a fond look on her face.
“Good grief.” Miyako says.
Not surprisingly, Ai from B-Komachi flourished.
But one week later, they didn't expect that it would also reach outside of Japan, putting the songs in the top 100 internationally.
When Miyako showed the result, Saitou was gobsmacked while Ai looked like she might faint.
Because of how unique the music video of B-Komachi is, it gains attention with the foreigners.
Storytelling.
Visuals.
Choreography.
Lyrics.
This was the start of Ai’s era in the idol industry. It's only the beginning of the legendary idol Ai from B-Komachi.
Notes:
Yes, I made a parallel between Aqua telling Ruby that she can be an actress while Ruby telling Aqua that he can be a singer. (Also am I the only one but I know Ruby is definitely perceptive to the things that interest her. Yes, she can be naive at times but tell her the ropes and she'll be more knowledgeable about it next time)
Anyway-
I'm so sorry in advance if the album made you cringe. This is not my level of expertise, sorry guys. But I do hope you enjoyed this chapter (even if t'm not proud of it)
Chapter 5: Book 1: His family
Summary:
“I just don't want to get in your work…” He murmurs quietly but loud enough for Ai to hear her.
When he heard Ai hitch a breath, Aqua looks up, and he internally cheers.
Her eyes soften, and she gives him a warm smile. Behind Ai, his sister rolls her eyes dramatically.
“Aqua,” She carefully says as she tucks a strand of Aqua's hair. “You’re more important than work.”
From what Aqua remembers, Gorou’s family never told him those words. In fact, they demanded him to do more, the perfect student, the perfect son and the perfect human being.
Notes:
It's a short chapter again, but I promise the next chapter will be longer.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“How—” His sister glares at him, pain clear in her eyes. “How could you?!”
Gorou was silent as he took his sister’s anger.
“The one thing I wanted to do in this life, becoming an actress for this damn audition… you fucking destroyed it!” She exclaimed, trailing off. “You have everything you want, isn't that enough?!”
“Kujou—”
“I don't want to hear your excuses.”
“You're not listening—”
“You’re the one who's not listening!”
Gorou crumpled the paper he's holding, a paper that should be a letter to his sister.
“I did it because—”
“—For yourself,” She finished his sentence. “I don't need you to cheat for me to win, Gorou.”
His head hangs down, Gorou knows this was the moment their relationship was beyond fixing.
Kujou walked to the door, her hands stopping on the doorknob.
“I hope you die in a ditch somewhere.”
At those last words, Kujou Amamiya left the room with a loud shut of the door
Gorou was left standing alone inside his room. Alone again in this empty apartment.
***
Aqua wakes up with a gasp.
He looks around his surroundings, a bead of sweat trails down his forehead.
“Aqua?”
Aqua looks up to see Ai frowning at him in concern. “Are you ok?”
“Mmm.” He nods at her but Ai is not having that.
She looks for a clean towel in the drawer as Ruby hovers around Aqua worriedly. That's when Aqua sees the sunlight is already flitting through the window.
Ah right, he slept late. Aqua was too busy watching the full new album Ai released 2 days ago.
He ignored Ruby’s questioning glance. She knows what's going on—having nightmares and all—but he doesn't want to talk about this at the moment.
Ruby is my sister in this life. I need to remember that. Not his other sister—Gorou Amamiya’s sister.
Still… talking about his other sister to Ruby is a bit much…
A towel plasted gently on his forehead, Aqua’s scrunch.
“Ai, I'm fine.” He mumbles. Aqua was grateful they are about to turn 3 years old a few months later so he can now talk properly to her.
Ai also thinks her children are geniuses or something so both Ruby and Aqua dodged many bullets easily because of Ai’s perception of her children.
“No, you're not.” Ai purses her lips, she puts a hand on his forehead to check Aqua’s temperature. “Your temperature is fine so what's the problem?” She murmurs to herself.
Ai cradles Aqua’s face. Under normal circumstances, it would've made Aqua feel weird whenever Ai touches him because he's an adult inside a child’s body.
But all Aqua wants is to lean on her hands, and seek Ai’s warmth. For the first time, he feels like a child wanting his mother's warmth.
He doesn't know where the urges come from.
As Ai scans Aqua, her eyes widen a moment after. “Did you have a nightmare?”
Aqua flinches.
Ai smiles down at her son gently. “I’ll just take a day off—”
“No!” Aqua vehemently exclaimed.
That's when Ai narrows her eyes—For some reason, Aqua is getting deja vu—she then crosses her arms. “What do you mean ‘no,’ young man?”
Aqua is fucked.
Behind Ai, his sister is trying not to laugh. For some reason, Ruby is enjoying Aqua’s misery.
Is this really the core of having siblings?
Glancing back at Ai, he decides to pull his power move.
It's also his double edge sword.
Aqua's lips wobble, he fidget his fingers together, and tries to act that he's about to cry.
“I just don't want to get in your work…” He murmurs quietly but loud enough for Ai to hear her.
When he heard Ai hitch a breath, Aqua looks up, and he internally cheers.
Her eyes soften, and she gives him a warm smile. Behind Ai, his sister rolls her eyes dramatically.
“Aqua,” She carefully says as she tucks a strand of Aqua's hair. “You’re more important than work.”
From what Aqua remembers, Gorou’s family never told him those words. In fact, they demanded him to do more, the perfect student, the perfect son and the perfect human being.
Eventually, his previous family had the final decision for Gorou’s future—to become a doctor.
He only remembers some of the pieces from his past because of some situations when his family was praising Gorou, his sister—and his other cousins—was always seething in his direction.
Praising and crafting a perfect child is the love language Gorou Amamiya grew up with.
Sure, his family's faces start becoming blurry, but he clearly remembers what he feels about them.
But for Ai to say those words…It made Aqua’s heart hiccup. He never thought there's a day a family member would say those words to him.
Then again, he's not Gorou Amamiya anymore.
“Mama is right!” Ruby exclaims. “You're much better to be at home, and we need to be here for you.”
Aqua scowls. “You just want to be here with Ai.”
Ruby dramatically gasps. “I do not!”
“Yes, you are.”
“I do not!”
“Yes. You. Are.”
“I. Do. Not!”
“Yes—”
“Alright, alright.” Ai chuckles. “Let's just say in each other’s perspective, both of you are right.”
Aqua frowns. That doesn't make him feel any better.
At the same time, Ruby also frowns but she keeps quiet. She loves Ai too much to protest.
“And Aqua,” Ai gave him a fierce look, it made Aqua gulp. “I'll take a day from work, no questions asked.”
“...Ok.” He knows it's a losing battle so Aqua let this be.
But for Ruby, she counts this as a win with the way she's grinning.
Sisters are really troublesome.
Ai pats Aqua’s head. “It's fine to miss work from time to time.” She grins at him. “Being the person marketing the company has its own perks.”
Aqua has no arguments to that because Ai is right.
A few months back, Ai released a single which skyrocketed. He wouldn't be surprised if all of the people in Japan now know the idol Ai from B-Komachi. But Aqua was surprised it reached overseas.
For an artist to be popular outside Japan, three things could lead with that, luck, someone promoting Ai, or both. But Aqua thinks someone promoted B-Komachi, after all Japan is very restrictive when it comes to music.
But maybe it's also because two babies dancing an otaku dance has become a trend again.
Anyway, as Aqua said, 2 days ago, Ai released a full new album that has too many connections with the popular single. Each song can be a storyline or a stand alone story.
So calling the president to have a day off won't affect the company much, even the president would let Ai off the hook this time. It would be a reward for Ai.
Thinking about it, Ai as an idol is amazing. She knows how to dance, sing, rap, be charismatic, and produce an album.
People even considered Ai a genius idol.
So overall, Ai is too popular now.
“Mama! Find me and Aqua!” Ruby exclaims when afternoon strikes. The three of them already finished their lunch.
She then grabs Aqua to hide, searching for a perfect place to hide in this massive penthouse.
“Alright, just be careful where you hide!” Ai shouts.
The day ended but Aqua thinks it's a good day after having that nightmare.
At night, Ai snuggles Aqua and Ruby as the three of them sleep peacefully.
***
The next day, Ai decides to bring Aqua and Ruby to work.
Aqua sighs. Ai is too worried for him.
They are currently in the van, Miyako is driving while the other three are in the back of the car.
Promise, I'll stay by your side
Promise, we will survive
An oath for revenge is to live in this unfulfilling life
So promise me we’re in this miserable eternity strife.
There's the bass of acoustic guitar that flows with the melody beautifully, and Aqua knows later on the beat will drop later in a bridge.
It's one of the songs in B-Komachi’s new album that became a hit.
“Kinda weird to hear my voice on the radio.” Ai grins sheepishly, twirling her hair.
“I like it mama.”
“This is one of my favourite songs.”
“You love all of mama’s songs, Aqua.”
“Fine, I admit I love all of them. At least I admitted unlike you.”
“I did not say I don't love all of them.”
The twins glared at each other.
Ai snorts. “The day both of you started talking, was the day both of you suddenly hated each other.”
Miyako coughs. “Ai, by your logic, they've been talking like grown adults since birth. I'm pretty sure they've hated each other since then.”
“Talking toddlers? That would be weird.” Ai laughs.
The twins sent a glare at Miyako. But the woman just starts whistling.
“I'm so excited for mama to act as a ghost!” Ruby abruptly exclaims, desperate for the change of subject. “She'll be a pretty ghost there.”
Ai chuckles. “I’m only playing a small part.”
“Still! You'll have many scenes!”
They are going on a shoot today where Ai will keep appearing there as a cameo. It's perfect for Ai and for the movie, because she's a popular person and many people will want to see the movie even if she’ll just make a little appearance. Although the higher ups will announce Ai’s appearance in the movie once the movie’s production ends. Not exactly announced, but they'll start leaking it.
Miyako sighs. “Please don't call Ai your ‘mama’ on set.” She gives them a warning stare. “Don’t forget you're pretending to be my kids.”
Right. In the paper, Aqua and Ruby are now legally Saitou and Miyako’s biological children. The Saitou family said they used surrogacy, thankfully people believed it, especially when Miyako starts crying on the news about not being able to make a baby naturally.
He doesn't know how that happened, but people believed that story.
Anyway, Aqua understands Miyako’s warning all too well, this is the first time they’ll be coming to Ai’s work after all.
Still… Aqua mischievously smirks.
“Ok mom, give me a pat on the head,” he says.
Ai grins. “Me too, mom!”
“Give me allowance mom,” Ruby joins in.
“Uck.” Miyako ignores them.
It's funny how Miyako changed over the years so Aqua is perfectly comfortable making fun of their babysitter.
“Ai…” Aqua calls out to Ai. “Is this going to be your first time to act? Will you be ok?”
There's a wistful look on Ai’s smile. “Don't worry, this is not my first time acting.” She pats him on the head.
“Then are you an amazing actress?” Ruby asks this time.
Ai laughs a little. “You could say that.” She ponders something for a moment before she decides to speak. “Someone taught me there's three types of actors; the good one, the cute one and the one who's lucky. Which type am I?”
“The cute…?”
“Good job Aqua! I decided to be the cute type of actress.” Ai pats him on the head again. “So all I need to do is to look good on every camera angle, like I always do during the mvs.”
Aqua internally frowns as he thinks about what Ai said, ‘decided to be cute’. What's that supposed to mean? He shakes the thought away, pondering about the other thing Ai said.
Camera angles, huh?
“I get it!” Ruby gasps. “You're amazing mama!”
As Ruby snuggles Ai’s stomach, Aqua thinks about being an actor, and coming to the conclusion of the actors utilising their surroundings in order to act.
***
The filming is occuring in a forest.
“So you need to understand,” Miyako says to the twins. “Since AI is in another area, those of us who aren't in the movie shouldn't be permitted to visit it.”
“But why?” Ruby whines.
“Too many people during the shoot can be distracting.” This is the part Aqua rolls his eyes, he just knows there are some people who are bothered or annoyed by a stranger’s presence during their work hours. Those people are weak. “Furthermore, anyone can leak that Ai is in this movie,” Miyako carefully says. “It should be leaked when the shoot ends or else the hype might disappear.”
“How can hype disappear when Ai is already popular enough?” This time, Aqua is the one who spoke.
“It's actually 50/50, it will either spoil the anticipation or it will skyrocket the expectations.” She shrugs as her phone starts to ring. “The production in this is being too careful, more so when this is an indie film.”
Ruby pouts even further while Aqua doesn't bother to reply with that. Miyako just answered the phone call from Saitou.
As Aqua stares at some space because he's getting bored, Ruby pokes him at the shoulder.
He glances at her questioning, Ruby tilts her head to the side, eyeing someone.
Aqua saw a haggard man, tying his hair in a bun. He's currently muttering something.
“That director’s face looks like he went through a lot of shit,” she whispers to Aqua. “Literal shit out from his ass.”
Aqua bursts out laughing, and Ruby grins at him, Miyako glances at him but then goes back to her phone.
“Nah.” He smirks at her. “That face is someone whose face was planted on a shit.”
Ruby laughs out loud and Aqua does the same.
“What?!”
Aqua looks over at the people gathering around in a circle.
“Sorry director.” One of the staff apologised. “It’s a late notice for us.”
The director just rubs his face roughly, groaning and complaining about the missing child actor.
Suddenly, one of the female staff—who stands right next to the haggard man—noticed the twins. Ruby and Aqua look away.
“Shit, he's a director?!” Aqua whispers.
“I hope he didn't hear us,” Ruby also whisper-shouts.
“Who?”
The twins flinch, Miyako looks at them suspiciously. Seems like she finished her phone call.
But then Miyako looks up. The twins did the same.
They sweat drop at the director glaring at them. Miyako walks forward to stand in front of them, fiercely being protective to the twins. Both Aqua and Ruby appreciate it.
“So you're the idol Ai’s manager?” The director then stares at Miyako who nervously swallows. “And these kids…?”
“Mine, sir.”
“A manager bringing their kids to work?” The director frowns.
If Ai is here, she would've been offended by the words.
“Wait.” Then Aqua saw a light bulb practically shine in the director’s eyes. “Is this what they called a ‘job reform?’ What a progressive world we lived in… People also bring their dogs after all…”
“Director…!” The female staff hisses at him.
“Ah right.” The director looks sheepish before he frowns at the staff. “Are you sure they won't cry just because? They are toddlers after all.”
In those sentences, Aqua was horrified. He will never bother someone during work! Making fun of them? That's a different story because he makes sure no one hears him and Ruby! But bothering someone? He could never! Aqua has been in the position where people bother him during his doctor years—or at least he thinks so.
Maybe this will affect Ai’s career so Aqua can't let that happen!!
Ruby is a bad influence to him, seriously.
“Oh absolutely not!” He hurriedly says. “I understand we are mere toddlers but I shall give in every ounce of effort I possibly can to prevent such carelessness!” Aqua starts bowing at them repeatedly. “I am finally aware of my own limitations and the rules to be upheld in a place such as this one—!”
“A baby can talk fluently???” The director was flabbergasted. “Where did you learn those kinds of words?!”
“Umm… uhh… YouTube?”
Ruby looks at him with a deadpan while Miyako stares at him incredulously. Ok, that's very fair.
Anyway, was what he said too much?
As if hearing his thoughts, Ruby kicks Aqua in the shin. Alright, message clear.
“Well, director.” The female staff smiles sharply at the director. “I think we found him."
The director still looks flabbergasted but there's a smirk on his face. “He's perfect.”
Now, Aqua looks confused. Thankfully, Ruby and Miyako too so Aqua doesn't feel like an idiot.
The director kneels down. “Kid, we want you to act in a certain role.”
What? What? WHAT?
“You need me as an actor?”
The director has an audacity to smirk at him. “A sharp one for a baby.”
The female staff smiles at Miyako. “We apologise for the short notice but we really need a small boy for this scene.”
Miyako nods, she then looks at Aqua. “What do you think, Aqua?”
Aqua glances at Ruby. “If you want an actor, my sister can do a better job than me.”
Ruby whips her head towards him, sharply glaring at Aqua as if saying ‘don’t you dare involve me in this!’
“Nah.” The man shakes his head. “I want you.”
Sir, we just met?!
Notes:
And that's the story how Gotanda ended up adopting Aqua! End of the story :DDD
Chapter 6: Book 1: The World of Acting
Summary:
Realisation hits her as she snaps out of her thoughts. Ai starts to frown.
First of all, why is Aqua acting in a major scene when no contract was even formed yet?
She knows very well how children can be exploited in the industry... she knows all too well there's different kinds of exploitation.
Maybe Ai is being paranoid because it's normal for children in Aqua's age to act in some scene without signing any paper beforehand, but Aqua should have a contract about this in Ai's opinion. Sue her if she's being overprotective, Ai is not going to take any chances.
Ai narrows her eyes. She will have to talk to the director.
Notes:
So ummm wtf is that latest chapter of the oshi no ko manga. Just what.
Anyway! Kana's introduction is here (but her next apperance will be in the future)
Ai being a mama bear here!! I love Ai who knows too much about the entertainment industry so she's being protective here
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Ai Hoshino is done with her shoot.
She smiles and has a small talk with the staff. Ai smiles although internally, she really wants to go back to her children.
The image of Aqua waking up with so much pain in his eyes is still vivid in Ai's mind. But outwardly, she keeps up her cheerful persona.
Along the way, the other staff members who encounter her ask for an autograph for their family members.
Right, she's more popular than she was two years ago.
At age 18, Ai’s career is blooming.
There's even a talk of B-Komachi performing in a dome from Saitou's side.
When she produced a song—composing a song, setting up the lyrics and playing with other kinds of music with the help of other people, Ai never thought she had the talent of handling a music production.
In the past, Ai just waited for the president to have a song for her to sing. Usually, the songs are about love because Ai is connected with that and the president likes the love themes because love songs are popular.
She doesn't want to mention the fact that Jeremy Sein, who is a composer and producer, was recommended by oblivious Saitou.
In hindsight, Ai shouldn't have been surprised to see him again. Saitou was the one who introduced him to her after all.
It's not because Jeremy is her ex or anything. Yep. Ai was glad he coincidentally decided to go to Japan for a break from home. A week ago, he fortunately went back to Europe.
Now that the people know Ai produced her popular songs, many people expect her to create another hit. What a joy to have to put some pressure on me. Ai thinks sarcastically.
As Ai was about to go to the tent where she assumes Miyako and the twins stayed in, she saw Miyako carrying Ruby on the side of another shoot.
Ai smiles. She starts walking toward them, glad to see her daughter, but her eyes search for his son.
“Father, you'll love me, right?” A child actor who is shooting a scene mumbles.
She finds Aqua.
Aqua grins at the male actor in front of him, his smile is so calm but his eyes look empty. “So let's go together.” He reached for the actor’s hand, and the man froze. “After all, you won't let your son be put in another hell, right?”
“I—uhh—”
“I love you father.” Eyes imploring, a dead smile drawn in his face.
At that moment, Ai sees a familiar stranger she used to know—the boy that Ai would've fallend deeply in love or maybe she already did? Ai honestly doesn't know.
Ai smiles bitterly. Aqua is like his father.
Genes are so cruel.
“Cut!”
Realisation hits her as she snaps out of her thoughts. Ai starts to frown.
First of all, why is Aqua acting in a major scene when no contract was even formed yet?
She knows very well how children can be exploited in the industry... she knows all too well there's different kinds of exploitation.
Maybe Ai is being paranoid because it's normal for children in Aqua's age to act in some scene without signing any paper beforehand, but Aqua should have a contract about this in Ai's opinion. Sue her if she's being overprotective, Ai is not going to take any chances.
Ai narrows her eyes. She will have to talk to the director.
***
The man chuckles as the tension in his shoulder recoils. “That's amazing, young man.”
Aqua bows. “Thank you.”
“A polite one too, I see.” The man says.
Suddenly, there's a commotion from the camera man and the director.
“That was amazing!”
“Where did you get this child actor, Gotanda?!”
“I didn't expect to see such a performance…”
Aqua bows his head, hiding away the blush on his cheeks.
Seriously, it was nothing.
At first, Aqua was suspicious why the director—Gotanda—firmly wants Aqua to be the one to act. Honestly, Ruby is much better at this. But then, he replays the memory about his interaction with Gotanda earlier.
Then, he comes to a conclusion.
Between the twins, Aqua is more mature than Ruby attitude wise. Many people commented about his mature behaviour but before that they’ll be uncomfortable with him. Unless Aqua keeps his mouth shut or pretends to be a kid in his body’s age, they’ll start to be comfortable with Aqua—he knew that from Miyako and Ichigo Saito, although Miyako already got used to it.
It doesn't take a genius to tell that Gotanda found him creepy, and the role that Aqua acted in should be a creepy child.
When Aqua reads his script, it is also what he felt to his father—his father from his past life.
Smiling, saying ‘I love you’ for the sake of it, dead eyes, never seeking the warmth, and burning the fallen bridge between them. Although, he fully can't remember it, his feelings are too vivid in his chest.
So there's a reason why I'm so detached with the actor who plays his role as the father of this creepy child.
“That's amazing, Aqua.” Miyako smiles down at him.
Ruby snorts softly. “To be honest, I didn't know you had it in you.”
Aqua glares at his sister. So she really knows Aqua can't act yet Ruby stays to watch him? Unbelievable.
Suddenly, an arm wraps around his tiny body. Then, the familiar smell of roses and youth fragrance hits his nose.
“You were amazing out there, Aqua.” Ai murmurs in his head. “You're so creepy. A real genius!”
Aqua frowns. “You're supposed to be complimenting your son…”
Ai extricates himself from him to look at Aqua's face. “That's a compliment though.” She lights up. “You did a good job, I'm proud of you!”
A warmth from the pit of his stomach float up. Ai wraps her arms around him again, and Aqua returns the hug, a smile forming in his face.
Not the admiration from being a fan, not thinking about Ai as an idol, and not being happy to be complimented by his bias. This warmth feeling….This is the first time he felt something like this towards Ai.
Something more familial—a son to a mother.
Aqua doesn't want to dive deeper.
“Thank you, Ai.” Aqua murmurs.
Ai lets go of him, she smiles at him and pat him on the head.
“I never thought the kids would be close with Ai from B-Komachi.” Gotanda says casually but it made Aqua flinch, on the other hand Ai just smiles at Gotanda. “Then again the twins’ father is the president of Strawberry production.”
Miyako nods at the president as she tightens her hold to Ruby, the girl snuggles to Miyako’s neck. “My husband sometimes encourages this behaviour—he loves it when Ai gets along with our children.”
“Speaking of your husband,” Gotanda looks down at Aqua. “Did you or your husband ever hire someone to teach Aqua to become an actor?”
“No sir, my husband—”
Aqua tunes them out. Is his acting really amazing? When he grows up, it won't be effective anymore though.
At the same time, Ai plays with Aqua’s hair as she observes the director closely. He then looks over to Ruby who stays still in Miyako’s arms. Good choice.
Remembering the interaction earlier, he's actually grateful this time Aqua still calls Ai from B-komachi ‘Ai,’ not ‘mama’ unlike Ruby. It's really dangerous to slip up in the entertainment industry.
Still…
Whenever they are alone, Ai never complains or demands Aqua to stop calling her using her given name. It almost made Aqua feel guilty.
***
Inside the van, Ai looks over at Aqua’s script.
“So Aqua has this role now, huh?”
“Yes.” Miyako answers from the driver seat. “It's actually surprising the director likes Aqua.”
Ai has a wistful smile plastered on her face. “I'm not surprised my son has talent in acting.”
For some reason, Aqua feels like those words are not from being proud their child has a talent because they are their mother’s child. It's something different.
He keeps his mouth shut about it though.
“What about you, mama?” Ruby asks curiously. “Do you still need to act more?”
“Yep!” Ai pats Ruby’s hair. “Me and Aqua will continue as one of the ghosts in the movie.”
“I can't wait to be with mama to do her own shoot again!”
“Sorry Ruby, but mama and Aqua has a different shooting area.”
“I don't understand...”
“It means you won't be able to be with me because Miyako needs to keep an eye on Aqua.”
“What?!”
As Ruby whines, Aqua shakes his head.
Is this really the behaviour of a mature woman in her past life?
***
Aqua stares out of the window.
This time, he woke up in the middle of the night quietly. As if the storm in his brain didn't matter.
He was also surprised to have a memory that he now remembers from Gorou’s childhood. Aqua thought it would be lost forever, he's starting to get confused with this reincarnation process.
There's new memories he keeps acquiring and memories turn to blurry, Aqua’s mind can't keep quiet.
Is this a side effect of being an adult reincarnating as a child?
“Can't sleep?”
Aqua looks over at Ruby. His sister glanced at him with worry in her eyes.
He shakes his head. “I can't.”
“Can I help you with something?” Ruby asks, she sits beside him, their shoulders touched together. It gives Aqua comfort.
Aqua is about to say no but then when he thinks about it, maybe Ruby has an answer with this occurring nightmares.
The problem is Ruby hesitates to give more information about her past life.
“If you can give me an answer…” He trails off. “Are your memories from your past blurry?”
Ruby froze.
Aqua nervously fidgets. It annoys him whenever he acts like this, he acts more like a kid and not Gorou Amamiya.
After a long huge pause, Ruby answers.
“Actually, it's so clear to me.”
“What?”
Ruby tilts her head. “I remember everything.”
“That's…” Aqua blinks, but how come his memory is not as stable as Ruby? For goodness sake, he's a doctor. Hell, he even memorised his script that Gotanda gave him earlier for less than five minutes.
“You don't remember?” Ruby’s eyes become wide.
“I remember some things.” Aqua insists. “But even my family members’ faces become blurry to me, the only thing I left for them is what I felt about them.” He sighs.
But he still remembers Kujou, Sarina and of course Ai, only the faces though. Still, the three of them are always constant in Gorou's brain.
“I only remember the people who really mattered to me the most,” Aqua looks down in his lap. “Even then, my memory about my interaction with them is disappearing.”
“What about the dreams you keep having?”
“That's when I'm acquiring new memories or the blurs I remembered become clear again.”
Ruby crosses her arms. “Don't you think there’s some connection between that and how you sometimes act like a real child?”
Aqua grimace. He still remembers some times when he laughs at the teddy bears or plays around with them without thinking about it.
Despite Ruby’s immature behaviour, she doesn't have those moments. Only a fond smile to those teddy bears because her Idol Ai gave them to her.
“It feels like…” Ruby trials off.
“Like..?”
“You're just acquiring information about the life you had in the past.”
He already has suspicions about that but…
“What about you?”
Ruby wryly smiles. “It feels like my past is an extension of the life I have now... or something like that.”
Aqua frowns. For some reason that doesn't sit right to him but he shakes the feeling off.
Now that he has gathered the information he needs as a reincarnated person…
“Thinking about your past life, were you attached to living before you even died?” He asks.
“Definitely.”
“Now that answers it.”
“What do you mean?”
Aqua’s face twists. “I know for sure I was detached from the life I had even before I died.”
“Oh.” Ruby frowns. “That's… kinda sad.”
“It is but I don't care anymore.”
She glances at him before she turns away. “Anyway, this means you're more of your current self than your past self.”
“Seems like it…” Aqua ponders. “Essentially, yes but it seems like I'm not letting go of that life anytime soon.”
Ruby nods in understanding.
“What about you?”
“As I told you, it's an extension but...” Ruby answers with a shrug. “I sometimes don't know.”
Aqua hopes having memories from their past life does not bite them in the ass in the future.
***
“Hey, director.” Aqua looks around the forest. “Is the original actor I'm currently playing fine with this?”
“You mean if it's fine for him that you stole his role?”
Aqua deadpans. “You're the one who forced me into this.”
The director chuckles. “Usually, the actors we need are supposed to be a person who will get the audience’s attention.” He says, completely ignoring what Aqua said. “The higher-ups are always the one to decide who will be an actor for a specific role but there's some exceptions.”
“Which is?”
“A handful of super big-shit directors have the authority and privilege to pick their own cast.” Gotanda then plays with the manual script he was holding throughout the conversation. “Either that, or they're directors who are working with a super low-budget, small scale film…” He points the roll of manuscript in Aqua’s direction. “Which one do I look like?”
Aqua ponders for a moment. To be honest, this guy is still scary so a fluttering choice should be the option to choose.
“The super-big shot—”
“Wrong.” Gotanda turns around with a smirk. “This is a low budget we have here.”
Oh yeah, Aqua forgot that Ai informed them she’ll be in the indie film. And now Aqua is also in this movie too.
He hopes this movie will get the attention it deserves, Ai is here after all. But Aqua doesn't worry much because based on the script, the storyline is good.
“So that means you can decide if there's some changes in this film—like choosing another actor?”
“Yep. I'm a director of an indie film, so I manage most of the work.”
“You said big shots directors can be able to have their own authority.”
“Yeah, I said a “handful” so it's rare.”
Did the director like confusing Aqua or something? Aqua can't help but pout at the director. At the same time Gotanda glances back, looking amused.
Miyako suddenly appears, carrying Ruby again. Aqua rolls his eyes at his sister, that girl loves being babied too much.
“I'm sorry we're late.” Miyako grimaced. From her expression, Aqua assumes it's because Ruby threw a tantrum when she got separated from Ai earlier. When it was clear it's taking too much of Aqua's time, he let Miyako know he’ll just wait for them in the shoot before he walks away from them.
Sometimes, Aqua wonders how Miyako handles this. When they were babies, they pretended to be the gods. But Miyako can take a guess that they’re bullshitting this and the reality was that they are just a genius baby or something. No gods included.
Or maybe Miyako is also an idiot? Unlikely but a possibility. Or maybe involving gods is more plausible in an outsider's view?
“Thank you for taking care of Aqua,” Miyako says as she steps forward.
Aqua then sees Ruby is still sleeping peacefully. Seriously, that girl.
He hates how he's starting to be fond of just watching his sister sleep.
“Oh yeah, no problem,” Gotanda says casually. “By the way, that's taken care of, right?”
“More or less…”
This implies that a contract between Strawberry Production and the business that Gotanda works for, as well as a signature from the guardians, are required.
Ai was vehement about this, as well as Saitou. Then, Miyako acted as the guardian and the representative of the Strawberry Production.
The director nods as he looks over at Aqua. “Thankfully, the company let the decision be handled with directors like me.”
Why are you looking at me???
Aqua frowns at him. Seeing Aqua’s expression, the director laughs.
“How about this, prodigy?” Gotanda kneels in front of Aqua. Wait, prodigy? “I needed you for this role because our original actor was not here, so I owe you a favour.”
Curious, he asks, “What do you mean?”
“In this industry, we call it bartering.” He smirks at him. “It's one of the things people use in this kind of environment. Take note of that.”
Ah. Aqua can now grasp the dark side of the industry. With what he knows from his sister Kujou and some talks he heard from the president, this is not a happy kid environment.
Aqua snorts. If that's the case, he'll use this favour in the future very well.
He says that very much.
Gotanda stands up with an amusing snort. “Got it, prodigy.”
After a moment, a male staff member asks the director about the camera angles they'll be using in the next scene. The two men walk away from Aqua and Miyako.
“Using Ai’s son to barter like this…” Miyako murmurs quietly. Aqua sympathise.
At least, the director owes Aqua a favour but…
If Ai knows this… Aqua shivers. He knows Ai can be overprotective sometimes.
There's a chance Ai will come to the wrong conclusion, especially if bartering is normal in the entertainment industry such as Aqua owes the director a favour or the director wants to trick Aqua. Hell, the director even went through numerous contracts just to get Aqua so Ai might go to either one conclusion.
He's not even an official actor yet.
“Miyako, what excuse did you say to Ai about this?”
“The director has no choice but to choose you because the original actor couldn't attend.”
So the truth, but Aqua knows in this industry it's suspicious for Aqua to be chosen on the same day the original actor didn't attend. He hopes Ai treats this as coincidence.
It will be alright, Ai is not that sharp.
Miyako grimaces. It seems Miyako knows where Aqua’s concern is coming from because of the question he just asked.
“Just so you know Aqua…” Miyako hesitates only for a second. “If Ai is any familiar with the industry, the first one will be the idol stuff, the second is…”
“Acting, right?” Aqua narrows his eyes.
“Yes.”
Damn it.
How the hell is Ai familiar with those when she doesn't act much?
Then again, now it makes sense why Ai is too familiar with acting techniques and whatnot.
“By the way Aqua, what did you do to get the director’s attention?”
“I don't know but for some reason old people like it when young people tend to be easy going on them.”
“Isn't that just being disrespectful?”
Aqua sighs. “Old people also tend to be complicated…”
***
The twins waited for Miyako to handle another paperworks, they waited in a cabin where actors and staff prepared for the shoot.
They are both in a small room, another child actress with them.
And Ruby clearly doesn't mind being loud.
“Mamaaaaa, mamaaaa! I wanna go back to where mama is!!! Why is mama not here with us?!” Ruby cries and yells those words out as she rolls around the floor.
“You know Ai is shooting in a different area.”
Naturally, this girl ignored Aqua.
“I wanna go to her and fawn over me!!!” She whines. “I wanna be cradled in my mama’s arms.”
How is she not embarrassed at her age?
“Are you not embarrassed with your attitude?” Aqua questions incredulously once she stops rolling on the floor.
Ruby shrugs. “I'm a kid, so I can act out all I want.”
If he ever had a conclusion that Ruby and Aqua had the same trouble about acting like a kid because their body hormones are messing with them, then that conclusion turned into dust after what Ruby just said.
Maybe she really was never a mature woman but a girl who died young…?
That's the thought he never wanted to think about again, especially when it reminds him of a certain someone.
Sarina has been dead for years, how come she would be reincarnated the same time as Gorou?
That would not be a coincidence anymore if that's the case.
So Aqua shrugs the idea off.
Suddenly, a loud smack of paper was heard around in a small room.
They see the girl who's also an occupant of this room stands up and glares at them, manuscript roll pointing at them.
“Hey! This is a pro’s line of work, if you’re here to whine, go home!” The red-haired kid glares at them. “You’re disturbing a person who's working!”
At that, Ruby shrunk in shame. Aqua can't defend his sister in this situation, the red haired girl has a point.
Then, the girl turned her head to Aqua. “My name is Kana Arima, I'm your partner for today.”
Ruby gasps. “Wait, isn't she… uhh… the genius child who will lick a lying snitch?”
“Flick a crying switch!” Arima kid says in disbelief and outrage before she composes herself with a haughty attitude. “Everyone says I'm great at crying scenes ‘cause duh, they're great.”
His sister frowns. “I don't like this girl, she's so fake it's repulsive.”
“Like you?” Aqua mumbles to his twin sister with a smirk.
Ruby slaps him on the arm, Aqua rubs it afterwards.
“Don't pretend you never tried to let mama dote on you.” Ruby says. Aqua looks away, she has a point. Although at some point, he stopped demanding for Ai to dote on him, it started making him feel embarrassed.
Then, Arima intercepts, not noticing they were having a banter. “You got here because you have connections, didn't you?”
Arima didn't let them speak as she continued.
“In the original script, Takemitsu Karasuyama was supposed to be in your place.” She scowls at Aqua. “How come you're getting this role so easily? You're also affiliated with the idol Ai from B-Komachi, right? Same agency?”
“Uhh…”
“Maybe the strawberry production likes to butter up with the higher ups just for recognition to their company.” She grabs her small sling bag and walks to the door, she's about to leave but stops for a moment to glance at the twins. “Maybe that's the same with idol Ai, I bet her acting is bad, she's just an idol after all.”
A staff member who's carrying a box enters their view, then Arima blocks her way. “Ad-san hold my bag!”
The girl that's called Ad-san was flustered as she tried to get Arima’s bag.
The twins are quiet for a moment.
“Aqua…” Ruby grits her teeth menacingly.
“I know,” Aqua’s smile as his jaw clenches. “She’s a brat, I won't kill her...”
***
To summarise what this film is about, it's a story about a woman who has no confidence in her appearance, and then ends up getting plastic surgery from a suspicious hospital that was kept in the mountains.
Aqua is one of the creepy kids, he was the son of the doctor who operates the surgery. The ghosts in this movie are full of the antagonist’s victims whether from plastic surgery or human experiment.
The ghosts are not siding anyone, it will be explained in the film that the ghosts can't fully rest.
“Alright, we're starting our shoot!” The director says as the camera prepares for the children to act.
The female main character walks with her luggage in hand. Suddenly, she was intercepted by the children.
Arima has her head bow down, so Aqua did the same.
Ah shit, why is he acting again?
“Welcome honoured guest,” Arima smiles, a dark wicked grin shows on her face. “We’re here to greet you. Please enjoy your time.”
As expected from a child prodigy according to Ruby, her acting is really amazing.
If Aqua did the same acting as her, everyone can see the huge difference between Arima and Aqua’s skills.
Even an amateur like me can understand that much.
But the director is still sure of my standing here so I've already thought about what kind of acting I should show.
“There is only a single guest within the village. As such, it's better to check-in before wandering about.” Aqua points with his finger where the direction is.
The silence echoes, and the girl in front of Aqua blinks uneasily.
“I'm sure the villagers will gladly take you in.” Aqua smiles politely to the girl. “After all, they love visitors.” He made sure he wears a smile that always makes Saitou feel discomfort. “If you are in need of help, the hospital is near, and they will make sure you will be safe.”
The last part’s tone is a whisper, as Aqua grins brightly at the girl for a good measure.
“Ok, cut!”
Aqua sighs. This takes a lot of his time.
“You’re amazing!” The girl kneels in front of him. “I really got shivers!”
“Really? That's good.” Aqua says with a smile but this time a smile that doesn't make people uncomfortable.
He’s glad this will be the last scene where he’ll act in this film because some scenes are all about short scenes where he’ll look in a camera for certain parts to make it scary or voice out some parts to make it a happy memory—some sort of flashback—for the villain doctor.
“You killed that girl with your acting.” Ruby grins at him when she goes over to him. “Although that acting was your usual self.”
“Yes, it's my usual self with you and Miyako and maybe that director, so it's still acting when people don't know your usual self.” He points that out quietly.
Ruby is about to to reiterate the statement when—
“There is a big problem!”
The twins—and all the people who heard the commotion—glance at Kana who is gripping the director’s pants.
“I want a retake, please!” The red-haired girl looks up, tears flowing down her cheeks. “The way I acted just now…! I did so much worse than him!”
The girl kept shouting pleading and begging words, but the director still refused at the end.
“Prodigy, do you know what is the most important thing when it comes to acting?” The director questions once Miyako has a phone call and Ruby stays with the woman. Aqua suspects Ruby felt guilty when she saw Arima crying.
“Uhh…” Aqua thinks about the answers as he shifts from the bench “Is it skills, intuitions, motivation and perseverance?”
“Well, all those are important.” Gotanda says. “But in the end it's communication.”
Aqua takes a peek of Arima, who is still crying in another bench, far away from Aqua. Her two assistants who're in charge of her meanwhile try to calm her down.
“If you are hated by other actors or staff members, you won't get any jobs anymore.” He sighs. “There’s no future for kids who become conceited and pretend to be influential figures.”
Aqua blinks. “Director, were you trying to give her a wake up call?”
“I wasn't thinking about anything that noble, but you can also nurture someone like this.” Gotanda smiles wistfully before he looks down at Aqua. “By the way, your acting was amazing, also how I imagined.”
“You know Arima’s acting was better than mine.” Aqua says with a shrug but he's still confused. “I just did what I normally do.”
“But I never told you to do that.” Gotanda sighs softly. “Your ability to read the director’s intention is also a communication skill. Of course, understanding the production and playing the part is the basics for an actor but it's valuable to have an actor who can pick up on the intention behind it that cannot be put into words.”
“Basically, those are the actors that the directors would die for, right?” Like how this director desperately wants Aqua to act for him.
Gotanda chuckles. “You got me there.” He put his palm on Aqua’s head, patting it gently. “You should become an actor who's capable of doing ideal performances rather than great performances.”
Aqua feels his cheek warms slightly red. For someone who's skilled as a director, that's high praise.
“But I don't plan to become an actor…” He mumbles.
Truthfully, Aqua still doesn't know what he wants in the future.
For a person like him—as Gorou Amamiya —who had a family that loved to dictate his future, it was so confusing to think about his own future—Hoshino Aqua’s future.
***
Aqua didn't know he fell asleep until his eyes blinked open.
Taking in his surroundings, he's inside of their van, in Ai’s lap.
He sees Ruby on Ai’s side, sleeping peacefully while Miyako is driving. Night had fallen.
Ai smiles down at him. “You work hard Aqua.”
Ignoring the warmth from those words, he sat up. “Did I really fall asleep…?”
She chuckles. “Yes, in Gotanda’s lap.”
Taking a moment for that information to sink in, Aqua’s face exploded.
Ai hugs him suddenly, mumbling about how cute her son is.
Wait… Ai met Gotanda…? It's not strange for an actress to meet the director but… Does Ai know something about bartering?
Aqua looks up. “Did you talk about something?”
“Something?” Ai repeats as she tilts her head, index finger on her cheeks. “We just talk about how adorable you are!”
Normally, Aqua would've believed it but Ai’s smile is too practised and her eyes look somehow mischievous.
Later, Aqua calls the director.
“Your adopted sister has a sharp mind like you, prodigy. I hope I don't cross her path in a bad way.”
Adopted sister? Ah right, on paper, Saitou is legally Ai’s father.
Wait, now I'm curious what Ai and Gotanda talked about.
Notes:
I just realised when I was editing this chapter, you-know-who is haunting the narrative of this chapter (the baby daddy)
Next chapter will be about Ai again! Her career will continue to blossom as she deserves!
Chapter 7: Book 1: The Tokyo Dome Concert
Summary:
“Do you love composing your music?”
Ai pauses what she's doing. For a second, Ruby thought her face twist a bit but in a blink of an eye, it was gone. So Ruby decides she imagined what she just saw.
“Love, huh?” Ai has a dry smile on her face, Ruby blinks to see a new expression on Ai’s face.
“You don't love it?” Ruby asks, confused.
“I don't know.”
Ruby’s eyes widened.
For the first time in her life, there's a vulnerable look on her mother’s face.
Notes:
I actually love this chapter. Maybe because I'm happy to see Ai leading a successful life. And maybe because I love whenever the Hoshino family is bonding together.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Here!”
Ai blinked at the envelope she received in the palm of her hands.
The child in front of her—same age as Ai—grinned at her.
“It's for you!” The brunette exclaimed. “I know you're not popular yet, but I'm sure in the future you'll be amazing!”
Ai tilted her head, an awkward smile plastered on her face. “You think so?”
It's an awkward smile—because at this moment, Ai still doesn't know how to craft a perfect smile.
“Yep!” The girl said. “I'll be rooting for you at the very end, so don't give up yet.”
“Thank you.” Honestly, Ai doesn't know what to say other than that. The massive support from this fan was something else, or maybe because this is the first fan who was here for Ai and not for the other B-Komachi members.
“I should be the one saying that.” The girl wryly said, making Ai look up to her. “You, being on the stage, is already a lifesaver enough.”
Ai chuckled. “I know very well how clumsy I am. Well… I'm still a beginner after all.”
Being an idol was not easy though. Ai thought she'll just sing and dance, not fighting for the fans’ attention.
Even some other members just glanced at Ai with a hidden worry look in their eyes whenever she did something UnIdol-like in public.
She almost groaned in embarrassment when she suddenly remembered tripping while dancing on the stage.
It's obvious how Ai does not fit to be an idol. And it's pretty obvious she should quit by now.
It's a shame because Ai loves being an idol, for some reason.
“Is there something wrong with that?” The brunette tilted her head. “Being clumsy has its own charm! And it's obvious you're always doing your best on the stage, I admire people like you.”
Her purple eyes light up, staring at the brown haired girl in front of her with wide eyes.
When Ai decided to have some fresh air after the mini concert that the president just rented, she never thought she'd encounter her fan, and the said fan would instantly recognize her with how hidden Ai’s face was while using her hoodie.
“Then, I can't disappoint you, do I?” Ai grinned.
The girl chuckled.
A phone suddenly rang from the girl’s pocket, the brunette winced when she saw the caller ID.
“I have to go.” The girl said with a sad smile. “Do your best out there, Ai!”
“Ah wait!” Ai grabbed the girl’s wrist, and placed a keychain on her palm. “This is still a prototype but—”
“Is this what I think it is!” She interrupted Ai as her eyes inspected the Ai keychain on her fingers. “I'll take care of this until the day I die!”
“Please don't mention dying.”
The girl sobered up at that, but there's still a small smile on her face.
“Yeah, not dying.” Her fan grinned at Ai. “Just talking to you made me think of not giving up on living yet!”
Ai doesn't know if it's normal to say something like that, or maybe it was normal. After all, fans tend to say about ‘happily dying’ or ‘I can die from happiness.’
As she watched the girl leave around the corner, Ai realised she's still holding the envelope she received from the girl.
Once Ai got home, she opened the envelope and unfolded the fan letter in it. Ai almost cried. Almost.
What did the girl say earlier? Ai was the lifesaver? That girl is surely wrong, it should be the reverse because…
At age 12 years old…This letter—the brunette—saved Ai's life.
And she never got her number one fan’s name... until years later.
Ai learned the girl’s name from Amamiya Gorou. The doctor held the keychain close to his chest after all. The keychain Ai gave to Tendouji Sarina—a prototype that has never been mass produced.
So technically, that keychain is rare. It only exists as one Ai keychain in the world.
***
Their penthouse is huge so there's numerous rooms the occupants can go to. One of those are the dancing room and music studio.
So of course, Ruby can stroll to any room as long as she doesn't break anything.
“Mama!” Ruby goes to her mother, hugging her stomach.
Ai pats Ruby on the head. “I'm always happy to play with you Ruby but mama has work to do.”
She sees electronic music and some keyboards. Honestly, Ruby has no clue what kinds of materials mama is using. There's even three computers, one of those has many files, Ruby assumes a demo song or along those lines were sent from other people in the production team.
Seriously, Ruby has no clue about all these materials. Just a little bit of information from the people she eavesdropped on when Ai or Miyako was talking to someone on a phone.
But curiosity got the best of her so she decided to research the basics of composing and arranging a song because it sparks such interest to her.
So Ruby is here because of Ai’s presence and also for the mini music studio.
“I won't disturb mama.” Ruby politely says. “I'll just listen.”
There's a small pause as Ai thinks about it, then she happily nods in agreement.
So Ruby sits on a small chair in the corner, watching Ai from the side.
Ruby listens to every music Ai is currently producing for a new album.
Despite being a fan, Ruby frowns at this. Sure, she will love to have a new album after numerous successes of every song Ai released, but Ruby also knows Ai is also planning for her Tokyo Dome concert.
After an hour, Ruby speaks again.
“Mama, can I ask you something?”
Ai is not perturbed by the disturbance, as she hums softly. “What is it, Ruby?”
“Do you love composing your music?”
Ai pauses what she's doing. For a second, Ruby thought her face twist a bit but in a blink of an eye, it was gone. So Ruby decides she imagined what she just saw.
“Love, huh?” Ai has a dry smile on her face, Ruby blinks to see a new expression on Ai’s face.
“You don't love it?” Ruby asks, confused.
“I don't know.”
Ruby’s eyes widened.
For the first time in her life, there's a vulnerable look on her mother’s face.
Ruby, a person who's sitting across from Ai Hoshino, at that moment, is not a fan but a daughter who sees her mother struggling.
“I think mama loves it,” Ruby's mouth moved on its own. “If you didn't, mama wouldn't have made an effort to have the best song she could possibly make.”
Ai’s eyes switch from her monitor to her daughter. Ruby is about to squirm from attention but she continues.
“A person who releases many self made songs a year when mama needs to focus on her own concert shouldn't be composing a song right now, yet mama's here because she just wants to—mama loves it.”
There is silence around the room. Ruby doesn't know what triggered her to keep talking but it's too late to regret taking back her words.
Ruby honestly doesn't want to see her own mother making that face when she's one of the famous idols who works hard to the point she sometimes forgets to eat.
Ai Hoshino is one of the people who saved Sarina Tendouji. Yes, that girl technically doesn't exist anymore but years ago Sarina chose not to give up life yet because of Ai and Gorou.
If Ruby can, she wants to be able to help Ai even if it's just a little.
Suddenly, Ai chuckles.
Ruby frowns in confusion as Ai smiles at her fondly.
“Sometimes, I forget you and Aqua are twins.” She says teasingly. “You can be as wise as him when the opportunity arises.”
Ruby pouts. She could retort something but she knows very well her mama has a point.
Yes, she loves acting like a child, because when will she be able to have this kind of chance? She's going to be an adult soon, Ruby sighs mournfully at the thought.
Ruby also loves to get Ai’s attention and be with her always because Ruby didn't get a privilege like that from her parents.
“Ruby?”
“Hm?” Ruby snaps out from her thoughts as she raises her head to meet with Ai’s pretty violet eyes.
“Come here.”
Confused but ready to follow Ai, she goes over to her. When she's there, Ai carries Ruby to her own lap, a sign that Ruby can sit on there. Ruby happily obliges.
Ai’s arms circle Ruby in a hug, firm and gentle.
“Thank you, Ruby,” she says softly.
Ruby just nods, her throat suddenly constricting.
Ai starts working again, but this time, she let Ruby stay on her lap.
Unexpectedly, this didn't make Ruby bored. Actually, composing a song intrigues Ruby.
After long hours, Ai is almost done with the three songs which Ruby knows Ai kept working on for a month.
She plays the first one, Ruby hums in appreciation. The song has tremolo in it with a couple of beats, when the lyrics are made, Ruby is sure the melody should be reminiscent yet haunted.
When Ai plays the second, it’s surprisingly an electro song that builds up to the chorus, it will surely be amazing if some of the part has a high range there.
After that, the third plays. Ruby frowns. This song is also upbeat, she knows the fans will love it but…
“Is something wrong with the song Ruby?”
Ruby looks up and sees Ai anxiously waiting for her daughter’s answer.
Seriously, Ruby is more than sure Ai loves composing a song.
But should she say something about what's wrong…?
One glance from Ai, she knows she can't lie to her. Ruby sighs.
“The upbeat song is great, mama. But…” Ruby twindle her index finger together. “It feels like the background is too chaotic so it's too noisy in my ears.”
Ai’s eyes went back to stare at the screen for a moment then she nodded. “I wonder what I should do about it…?”
“Maybe use future house or techno? It kinda suits the vibe for the 3rd music…” Ruby trails off. Ugh, she's not a professional so why is she giving some advice? She's also sure Ai was giving a rhetorical question earlier.
Ai gasp. She squeezes Ruby tighter, making Ruby almost lose her breath. Thankfully, Ai lets go after a second.
“Why didn't I think of that?!” Ai shakes her head in disbelief. “I'm more tired than I thought or something.”
That. Ruby is sure that's the reason.
“Or maybe…” Ai sparkles in her direction. “My daughter is such a genius!”
She puffs chest out proudly. Alright, let's also go with that.
Ruby will make sure to brag about this to Aqua later. But right now, she soaks in her mother’s attention.
An abrupt knock startles both Ai and Ruby.
Speak of the devil…
They both look at the door. Surely enough, it's Aqua. His hands on a book, presumably it's a book he's been reading all day. He quirks one eyebrow to them.
“Ai, it's dinner time.”
Ruby gets up from her mother's lap as Ai stands up. “I forgot! Oh no, I still need to make our dinner!”
Fast as a flash, Ai is gone.
Ruby then stroll toward Aqua with a smirk. “Guess what?”
“You just helped Ai compose a song?”
“Eh!? How the hell did you know that? Did you spy on us?!”
“Oi, I was about to call both of you for dinner, not spying. I'm not you.”
“What did you say, you hypocrite?!”
“Ruby. Aqua. Stop fighting!”
The twins jerk back from Ai’s shouting on the other side of the house. If they don't go to where Ai is right now, she’ll intercept between them again like a person on a mission.
Both of them look at each other and sigh. They need to leave now before hell rains upon them.
But before they go, Aqua grabs Ruby’s wrist.
His mouth twisted into a smirk. “But seriously, the quick thinking you did for the 3rd song is amazing.”
Ruby grinned shyly, giggling like a highschool teenager. She can't help it when her family praises her like she's worth praising.
***
“By the way, Aqua.” Ai puts her spoon down. “Director Gotanda wants you to be cast in a drama series.”
Ruby watches her brother’s jaw practically hang on the table before he composes himself.
“What? Why?” Aqua squacks.
This time, Ruby replies. “What do you mean ‘why?’ The thing you did during the set was amazing!”
“You and I know I'm just being myself there.”
“Yes but you did act like a ghost.”
“I agree with Ruby on this,” Ai interferes. “You were amazing out there.”
“Wait,” Aqua looks at Ai. “Shouldn't you be wary about the director?”
“Should I?”
Aqua’s face turns to wince. “I just thought you hate director Gotanda…?”
Ai hums. “What do you mean, Aqua? We're fine.”
How fine? Ruby wonders. It's not like she didn't notice how Ai wants to pound her fist on director Gotanda’s head, so Ruby is a tiny bit curious.
But then again it's none of her business.
“So what do you think, Aqua?” Ai questions as she patiently waits for his answer.
Aqua purses his lips.
He nods. “Ok.”
Ruby’s eyes widen slightly. Honestly, she did not expect Aqua to agree.
She smiles at her brother.
I'm happy you’re doing something that intrigues you.
Aqua sees the meaning behind Ruby’s eyes, he looks away in embarrassment.
Sometimes, Ruby wonders who's the older sibling between them.
After that Ai talks about her work and how much fun she's having with the B-Komachi.
As Ai was going to wash the dishes after their meal, Aqua taps her. She gives Aqua a questioning glance.
“Ai, when I grow taller, I'll help you wash the dishes.”
Aqua tells her so seriously that made Ruby think it's normal for him to declare something like that
Then, there's something in his eyes. It's devotion.
Not even as a fan to their idol but a child to their parents.
It's not the first time Ruby questions Aqua’s past life.
Ai takes it with a stride as she smiles down at Aqua and pats him on the head. “Then mama will wait for that to happen.”
Aqua nods then goes back to the living room, presumably going back to reading.
Ruby also thinks about how Aqua refuses to call Ai ‘mama.’ And Ai never said anything about it.
“Mama,” This time, Ruby is the one who calls her out. “I’m not a grown up yet but I can still help mama with composing a song.
There's something in Ai’s expression when Ruby is done speaking, then her face briefly turns towards where Aqua disappears to.
She smiles down at Ruby. It's a small one but it looks more genuine than she previously ever wore.
“Alright, Ruby.”
***
Ruby scrolls through her phone. That phone became Ruby’s because Ai found out that Ruby always uses it so her mother just gave it to her.
She doesn't know why but Ai always take a stride to any shenanigans her children always do, despite the weirdness of the situation.
If Ruby knew better, she'd think Ai doesn't really know what a conventional baby usually does… Hmm, maybe Ruby is onto something with that particular conclusion.
“Ruby?” Aqua calls out, looking up from his book.
“Hm?”
“Do you really think I'm good at acting?”
Ruby looks up from her phone, Aqua’s face looks unsure as he fidgets between his two index fingers.
“Yes.” Ruby says without a doubt in her voice.
Aqua nods. “I see.” Then, he proceeds to go back to reading.
But Ruby firmly keeps her eyes on Aqua, wondering where that question came from.
Hmm.
“Are you asking if you're good at this because being good can decide that you’ll take the job?”
Aqua flinched.
Ruby sighs. Stupid brother. Between the two of them, Aqua is supposed to be the smart sibling.
Then again, Aqua is academically smart. Maybe Ruby needs to do her job as a person whose genius when it comes to emotion…. Is she really a genius when it comes to handling emotion? She doesn't know but she's kinda Aqua’s therapist at this point.
“Personally, I'll do something I'll enjoy rather than a productive one.” Ruby says with a shrug. “After all, life is short. We were even given a chance for a second life, so I much prefer not to ruin my chances just to live an unhappy life.”
Aqua thinks about it. He purses his lip and looks down in his book.
“I'll still take a job.” Aqua eventually says. “I need some time to decide about what kind of future I want to take.”
Ruby nods. “Take your time, we're still just 2 years old—3 years old soon.”
A comfortable silence accompanied them.
“You know Ruby, you really have great emotional intelligence,” Aqua murmurs after a moment. “But you become blind to the people you put on pedestal.”
The words are harsh, yet his voice is soft. Still…
“Hey, what do you mean—”
Then, they both heard footsteps. The twins stay still as they glance towards Ai who's walking inside the living room.
Ai gently smiles at them once her eyes landed on the two of them.
Suddenly, Ai grabs Aqua and Ruby. Her arms wrap around them in a hug.
“Ruby, Aqua…” Ai murmurs but her next words are caught in her throat.
It's obvious their mother wanted to say something but didn't continue her words. Maybe everything is fine though? Because Ruby can feel Ai’s smile on the top of her head.
For some reason, Ruby can tell it's a sad little smile.
***
Months later, it's time for the B-Komachi to perform in the Dome concert.
***
Ai… have always been bad at loving.
“You said you were scouting me so I became curious.” Ai scanned the business card. “But an idol? Me? That's a funny joke.”
The person Ai was speaking to is a blonde man who was currently wearing sunglasses. He’s a scout from an idol company.
The old man lured Ai with a matcha Frappuccino, so she ended up hearing him out.
Although Ai was 12 years old, she was aware it's dangerous to talk to a stranger but food is food.
The man smiled at Ai’s words. “We’re forming a unit with middle schoolers at my company. I think you'd fit in there.”
“I'm not interested.” She slurped her drink.
The man continued to smile. “You're definitely cut out for it. I guarantee it.”
This guy won't give up. He's too persistent.
Hmm, what should she do to make this guy back off?
One of those options is to make him uncomfortable to not persist this recruitmentment any further.
“I think it's best if you give up. I grew up in a children’s home,” she started casually, the straw still in her mouth. “I have… one parent. When I was young, my mom got arrested for theft, and I stayed at the children's home for the duration of it.”
And isn't that the scandal of the year if Ai becomes an idol?
Ai smirks at the guy’s reaction, shocked as his features were painted.
Time for the camel’s back to break for the words Ai is going to say next.
“But even after mom was released, she never came back for me,” she says with a smirk, the dark glint of her eyes focused on the guy in front of her. “Not that I care though, it's a whole lot better to be in an orphanage than getting beat up everyday.”
I was sure he would leave me once I scared him a little bit.
“I have no memory of ever being loved or loving someone.” Ai slurped her drink. “A person like that isn't befitting to be an idol."
At that time, to Ai, the image of an idol is that of pure existence who brings joy to others by scattering smiles…
It's the opposite from someone like me who spits out lies and hates people.
“I won't be able to love my fans,” she continued. “And my fans won't be able to love me.”
“That's perfectly fine for me.”
Ai snaps her head towards the blonde in shock.
The man continued as if he didn't destroy Ai’s world view. “This job isn't for normal people anyways, and your past gives you character.”
“But…” Ai stutters out, disbelief not leaving her expression. “Idols say they love everyone! If I said that, it’d be a lie…”
“It's fine if it's a lie.”
Again, this guy keeps destroying Ai’s worldview. What's his name again? Sato? Seto?
The blonde continued. “Or rather the audience is looking for a pretty lie, being able to lie well is also a talent.” He then smirks. “I think that's more than fine.”
Ai blinks for a moment. “Is it really… ok?” She removes her hat as her mind is lost in a dream. “Even if it's a lie, is it really ok for me to say ‘I love you’?”
His eyes soften, “You say all these things, but in truth, don't you also want to love someone?”
Ah, he got Ai.
“You just don't know how, you don't know how to love.” His words seem harsh but his tone was ever so soft. “If you just sing and dance cutely, that's already showing love to your fans. If you become an idol, words like ‘I love you’ will come up in lyrics countless times.”
Ai leans towards the table, her gaze does not waver.
The man leaned back. “Plus, if you keep saying ‘I love you’ to everyone, maybe that lie will turn into truth someday.”
“The lie turns into truth?” Ai mumbled out.
Can something like that happen? Or is this Ai desperately clinging on to a dream?
Even so… Ai wants it.
And if this job takes a dangerous turn, it's not like Ai has anything to lose. She’ll just go back to being a normal girl who hates people.
She'll take this risk. After all, Ai is a greedy girl.
“Alright,” Ai eventually answers, her eyes lighting up ever so brightly. “I'll become an idol, sir Sotou.”
“That's good—Wait what? My name is Saitou.”
“Oh, I see. I'm sorry, Seton.”
“You brat…!”
Ai giggled. Genuinely feeling lighthearted for the first time in her life.
Days passed, Ai still tried to remember the name of the president of the Strawberry production as she works under the said guy.
Then, Saitou’s name became a name that can't be erased from her mind as he became one of the most important people in her life.
But Ai pretends she always forgot his name because it's fun to tease the president.
***
A lie turning into truth, after I heard those words I decided to become an idol.
“Are you ready?”
Ai turns to Saitou who asks the question.
She can practically hear the crowd on the other side, ready to see the B-Komachi.
They are going to perform in the Tokyo Dome.
For the time being, the other B-Komachi members are still preparing for their opening. At the same time, Ai is finished with her make-up.
This is when Saitou comes over to her.
She smiles at him. “I can't believe this day has come.”
Saitou chuckles. “Right? It feels like I'm still dreaming.” Then, he mocks a frown. “But you're still the same brat I met 7 years ago.”
Right. It's been 7 years.
Saying a lot has changed is understatement.
Ai grins at him. “Then you're still the same stinky old Seto I met 7 years ago.”
“You brat…!”
“Sir, everything is ready!”
They both turn around to the staff, who confirms the stage and the set are perfectly safe.
As the other B-Komachi appears, the president nudges Ai on the side.
She gives him a questioning glance.
Saitou smirks. “Do your best.”
Ai smiles.
Moments later, the B-Komachi gets ready. Ai can see others being excited and other members trying to calm themselves.
She knows she doesn't need to worry about them because they are B-Komachi, and once they are on stage, they’ll be in the zone.
Ai always loves when they perform together.
Because their dark emotions toward Ai always disappears whenever they perform together—more focus on the task in hand.
1, 2, 3
Let the show start
The B-Komachi enters. Crowd’s gone wild.
At that moment, Ai is calm as she scans the people who have pink light sticks.
These are the people who support her.
She mouths the lyrics again as the in-ear monitor steadily in her ears.
These are the fans she can't help but give her all—the people who deserve to be loved by their idol—if only Ai could give that.
Ai gives these people a glance.
She enters the zone.
The royal decree is here
Idol who serves you
Giving you the best shot
Over the years, Ai perfectly crafted her mask. So even if her thoughts are all over the place, she trusts her body to do what's best in a situation.
Ai’s body flows through the music, the cheers encourage her as she smiles—the smile her fans love.
She thinks about her job.
The other B-Komachi members.
Her fans.
Saitou. Miyako. And that person—
And her children.
Ai wanted to love someone. Ai wanted something to love.
Ai thought she’d be able to love her fans if she became an idol. Persist to be an idol.
You fought our wars
So we're here to entertain
Princess serving their people
She still has a steady grip on her mic as she does her best with how the beats are picking up. Ai sings from the bottom of her heart.
The fans in front of her yell the song Ai and the other B-Komachi members sing.
I'm sorry but I'm still trying to love you guys.
And…
Ai subtly turns to where the VIP seats are, where Ruby and Aqua are currently watching. She then goes back to her fans, running to them.
Even to her own children, Ai still hasn't said ‘I love you.’
She's their mother and yet… Ai couldn't muster up enough to say those words.
Tik tak Tok La di da di da
B-Komachi here! Starting the show
Ai thought if she becomes a mother, she’ll be capable of loving.
There's a bead of sweat on her forehead, she grins as her choreography with Takamine starts and others go to their usual position.
She and the others are in sync with the music, they reach out to the air as if reaching to the fans.
But Ai is reaching her hands towards Aqua and Ruby.
Ai hasn't said ‘I love you’ to her children, because if she did and realised she was just throwing around the words….
That thought scares her more than anything.
Tik tak Tok La di da di da
B-Komachi here! Reborn for the stage
But…
Ai sways her body, grinning at everyone. The song is at the edge of the bridge, ready for Nino to sing the song.
So she'll lie again today. She'll lie believing that someday it’ll turn into the truth.
Her heart is still open to love her fans and the people she considers important.
Even if Ai have to pay a price for it.
Then, the song drives through the latter part of the lyrics. Ai can hear the beats from her in-ear monitor.
She’ll love everyone and it’ll come from the bottom of her heart.
After all, Hoshino Ai is a greedy girl.
***
“She sparkles so much.” Aqua mumbles, his eyes never leaving Ai.
Ruby can't blame him because her eyes also never left her mother.
The stage presence Ai holds is amazing, Ai can't help but grab people’s attention left and right. Between her talent and her presence, Ai from B-Komachi is amazing.
Although as a B-Komachi fan in the past life where Sarina Tendouji loves every member—her bias is still Ai though—it’s a bitter pill to swallow that the other members are being overshadowed by Ai.
Still, Ruby enjoys the show. And even after Ai's first performance ended, the song still keeps repeating in her mind.
Seeing Ai sparkle so bright, something strikes in Ruby’s gut.
Sarina’s dream.
Ruby shakes her head. It's damn near impossible to reach that dream when dancing is one of the classifications needed as an idol.
Let's not even mention the fact Ruby sings like a croak. Yes, she sings because she loves B-Komachi’s song. Miyako says it's good but Aqua softens the blow by saying Ruby has potential but not the potential Aqua praised a year ago when he says Ruby can become an actress.
There's even the fact Ruby has the potential to become an actress. She considers it but…
Ruby wants to build a future she wants.
And yet…
I don't know what I want in the future.
Watching mama, and thinking about her past life, always watching Ai maybe…
Become an idol?
***
After the Tokyo Dome concert, they didn't know it was possible for Ai to become even more popular.
Ai travels numerous places in every part of Japan to do her concert, meanwhile Aqua and Ruby wait for her in their penthouse.
Aqua takes a look at his phone—this phone was given by Ai when she thought it was unfair that Ruby had one but Aqua didn't—He sees an article about Gotanda’s movie which Ai and Aqua previously shot as a ghost win an award.
The movie released was able to make Ai’s popularity even further, making many people more aware of Ai from B-Komachi. Honestly, Ai’s acting is good in Aqua’s opinion, she practically stole the show there when she's not even the protagonist.
Although the director told Aqua how Ai’s acting was decent for someone who doesn't live their life as an actor but as an idol.
Then, there's other people demanding about the boy who played as the ghost child.
It makes Aqua blush sheepishly because there are many posts about how good of an actor he was in that movie.
There's also another thing that caught his attention…
Aqua stares at the article about Gorou Amamiya’s body has not been found yet.
It is worrying but… he feels bad not caring about it as much as he should.
Still… Aqua wants to imagine the face of Gorou’s family. Even though they’re blurry, there's a possibility they will be bitter to have one of their successful children go missing or die like that. Even then, Aqua is not sure about that, because there are some memories of the family always boasting Gorou’s achievements in life, while there are some memories that… it's implied he was disowned.
Back to the present… When Ai was able to go home, for her children’s first day in kindergarten…
“Aww, you guys look so cute!!” Ai keeps flashing her camera on them. “You’re just too cute!!”
The twins wear a cute uniform for their first day of kindergarten. Aqua awkwardly positions himself in front of the camera while Ruby is being natural in front of it.
Ruby grins at Ai. “But mama is cuter!”
“No!!” Ai draws out. “Both of you are much cuter.”
“But mama—”
Why are they competing? Or is this a new thing in this era? Reverse competing? Aqua stares at them with a deadpan expression before shaking his head.
Still, it's nice for Ai to spend some time with them considering the fact Ai will travel out of Japan for her concert after this.
It's not like Aqua is going to miss her or anything. He's an adult, not a child.
After the back and forth, Ai’s lips wobble, much to Aqua’s shock.
Ruby looks gobsmacked. “I'm sorry mama, we're cuter than you are.”
I don't think that's what she's been crying about though.
And Aqua was right.
He suddenly finds himself in a familiar warmth from Ai’s arms and chest.
“You two grow up so fast.” Ai sniffs but tears don't stroll down her face. “Just yesterday, I remember giving birth to you two.”
Aqua doesn't know why but he also felt emotional but not enough to make him cry, just enough to return the hug and lean on this warmth.
After that, the twins watch their mother leave the penthouse. They say their goodbyes and that's that.
At the van, Ruby sighs.
“I hate the fact we can't escort mama in the airport.”
Aqua agrees but he's not going to admit that so he shrugs. “She's an idol, we can't do anything about that.”
He sees Miyako glancing at them worriedly from the rearview but Aqua pretends he didn't see the concerned look.
For moments like this—feeling lonely because their mother is away, Aqua searches for the optimistic side.
Such as being a child again and not being exhausted from the work he doesn't even like in the first place.
Aqua even brought one of the most popular books from Natsuhiko Kyougoku.
Even so, Aqua can't help but feel a tiny bit of longing for her mother—Ai from B-Komachi. Yes, a tiny bit.
He needs to remind himself that this is still his idol, and Aqua should be proud of Ai’s blossoming career.
Notes:
I looooooove Ai's character so much. In a surface, you think you actually figure her out. But diving in her character, you can see the complexity of her mind. She says she doesn't think she doesn't love her fans, but it's clear Ai deeply cares about them. It's the same way she thinks about her children. Even Ai herself can't figure who she is. The fact she wants to love someone but keeps the people she cares about at arms length (B-komachi and Hikaru) I have more rant about Ai's character but that will take too long.
Additionally:
Suddenly, Ai grabs Aqua and Ruby. Her arms wrap around them in a hug.
“Ruby, Aqua…” Ai murmurs but her next words are caught in her throat.
I don't know if you all caught this but Ai wanted to say I love you but she still hesitated in the end :((((
Chapter 8: Book 1: Connection
Summary:
Then Ai tilts her head, and a drop of tears trails down her cheeks. There's still a smile on her face.
Ruby blinks, a shiver down her spine.
Aqua’s eyes widened even more, creeped out and yet mesmerised.
She's much closer with her son so Ai pats Aqua’s head gently, and then she smiles more brightly at Ruby as she wipes her tears.
“Creepy, isn't it?” She chuckles but before the children can answer, Ai continues. “Having an actor who mixes up reality and fiction can be dangerous for an actor’s mental health so I quit doing full blown acting.”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
B-Komachi fan (number 1)
@unofficialfansite
For the B-Komachi fans out there, here is the other members pictures from their concerts around the country
[Attached images]
296 replies 3k retweets 505k hearts
Takamine my bae
@firstfan
Ohmygosh Thank you!!
0 replies 569 retweets 1.5k hearts
Number1fan_also
@Bkomachiloves
Best birthday gift ever!!! Ari my love!
8 replies 59 retweets 2.8k hearts
Moon
@AiMySun
Lol who? Ai is the only one I know
28 replies 769 retweets 1.4k hearts
Ai_mylove
@number1fan
Am I the only one, but it feels like Ai is carrying the B-Komachi
38 replies 569 retweets 1.5k hearts
^
Komachi
@TeamRabbit
I don't want to be that person but I
agree Ai is not only in the center but
she's the main vocal and dancer and
now she's also a producer
2 replies 209 retweets 678 hearts
BKomachiAi
@Oshi
Lol other B komachi members are just backup dancers at this point
50 replies 798 retweets 2.2k hearts
^
Kanachan
@AiAiNinoTakamine
another clown I see
4 replies 139 retweets 233 hearts
LeeSejin
@mybaemylove
Agree. If other members can't
handle Ai, they need to get out of
the group
8 replies 469 retweets 888 hearts
***
Ruby frowns at her phone. She keeps scrolling through the post about the B-Komachi’s photos.
It's not like Ruby fully agrees but…
Her eyes lift to watch Ai—who just came back from her tour—helping Aqua for his role in the drama that Gotanda needed Aqua to be in. Ruby smiles fondly.
She goes back to her phone and frowns again.
Isn't this a bit too much?
“Ruby?” Ai tilts her head as Aqua and Ai pause their practice. “You're frowning too much at the phone.”
Ruby giggles nervously. “Uhh, I am?” She put her phone down. “By the way, mama. I want to learn something.”
Aqua is unimpressed with the change of subject. But mama just smiles down at Ruby.
“What is it?” she asks softly.
“Can I learn how to use a guitar?” Ruby leans forward. “And a piano? And a drum? And also a—”
Aqua snorts. “Learn all the instruments, will you?”
She scowls at her brother. “Focus on being a normal little brother, that's your role in the drama series after all.”
Ai is not aware of the little jab Ruby threw there. Simultaneously, Aqua himself is trying to give her a scathing glare but it's more like a pout which amuses Ruby greatly.
Ruby remembered when their mother revealed to them what kind of role Aqua will get; She laughed at the irony of her brother needing to act like a normal little brother of the female lead.
The filming has already started but Aqua thought he's not doing enough so he asked Ruby for help because in his words—Ruby has a talent for acting.
But then mama witnessed their practice, Ai said she can help whenever she has free time so that's that.
Anyways…
“Hey, Ruby?” Ai suddenly calls out. “Does your new interest have something to do with the production you helped mama with months ago?”
She nods. Truth to be told, Ruby enjoyed the little bonding she had with Ai at that time. Not only that, Ruby realised she loves to experiment in Ai’s studio.
And also…
“You have a nice ear when listening to music, Sarina. You can be the B-Komachi’s critique person in music.”
“There's no way I'll do something as disgraceful as that to the B-Komachi, this small one does not deserve such a position, sensei.”
“... You're being dramatic.”
“I'm not!”
“Anyways, once you heal, become a producer or a singer.”
A doctor once told Sarina she can be an expert in this kind of department.
“I know a group who knows how to play those instruments!” Ai suddenly exclaims. “Some of the B-Komachi members know how to play an instrument.”
Ruby blinks as Aqua quirks an eyebrow. This is the first time they heard this, and they are fanatics of B-Komachi, or, well… fans of Ai that is.
“Then, I want to hear them play!” she says happily. “If they can play, they probably helped you with the production. This can be a practice for me to learn more.”
Ai winces.
“Mama?”
“Sorry to break your expectations, Ruby.” Ai’s head hangs down. “But they don't help me with the production…”
At this point, mama already knows her children are fans of B-Komachi. Sometimes, Ruby has a feeling her mama is trying to impress her children more than they previously had been.
So for Ai to look ashamed to admit the B-Komachi is not helping with the production is…
“Why?”
This time, it's Aqua who spoke. He appears to be calm but there's a protective glint on his eyes, and there's an edge in his tone.
“It's not their fault or anything,” Ai says. “I never asked them and uhh… yeah.”
If mama is not asking them, then the other members should offer some help to Ai. But there's also a question nagging in the back of Ruby's mind.
Ai is not a shy person to not ask for help from the other B-Komachi members. So why is mama not asking?
Aqua glances at Ruby, who looks back. She nods.
She doesn't know if it's twin telepathy or reincarnation or something, but both of them reach an understanding.
“Mama, can I still go?” Ruby’s eyes go wide and pleading, looking like a cute puppy. “I still want to learn from them.”
Ai bites her bottom lip as she stares at her daughter. But eventually, she nods.
Ruby mentally celebrates as Aqua gives her a smile.
Mission success.
“Anyway, Aqua.” Ai gives her son a stern look. “Let's do the scene again.”
Aqua groans.
She gives her twin a sympathetic look. It's a scene where the sibling needs to fight so there's a need for raw anger and anguish so it's hard for Aqua to do this.
“Ai,” Aqua whines out, Ruby sees her mama not blinking as Aqua calls her first name. “I don't know how to cry, I can't do this.”
Wow, for his sibling to whine like that, it must be really hard for him to do this.
Ai crouches down at his height. “If you really can't do it, Gotanda and the others will help you to make it look like you're angry and crying.”
But Aqua shakes his head. “I don't want that, I want to do this on my own.”
She suspects it before, but maybe this is basically a confirmation that Aqua is a perfectionist? Aqua always hates being helpless, there's even some moments he's hard on himself when some things don't go as he planned or Aqua realised he's not talented in a particular skill such as playing a mobile game in Ai’s phone. Ruby knows because she grew up with him.
Ruby sighs. “Mama, you did a little acting years ago, right? Maybe you can give him some advice from your acting days.”
Ai has a complicated look on her face. “But Aqua can't do what I did, it's too dangerous.”
“How is it dangerous?” Aqua asks cautiously.
“Well, it's dangerous for an actress to mix up reality and fiction, even if I had an exceptional talent,” Ai answers.
“Woah!” Ruby gasps. “Mama, were you an amazing actress?”
Aqua’s eyes sparkled. “Can you act more sad than what the big sister in this script has shown?”
Ai giggles. “For Ruby’s question, I was, according to some people. For Aqua’s question, I can if you want.”
“Yes, please!”
The idol has a wry look on her face, a foggy look in her purple eyes.
Then Ai tilts her head, and a drop of tears trails down her cheeks. There's still a smile on her face.
Ruby blinks, a shiver down her spine.
Aqua’s eyes widened even more, creeped out and yet mesmerised.
She's much closer with her son so Ai pats Aqua’s head gently, and then she smiles more brightly at Ruby as she wipes her tears.
“Creepy, isn't it?” She chuckles but before the children can answer, Ai continues. “Having an actor who mixes up reality and fiction can be dangerous for an actor’s mental health so I quit doing full blown acting.”
Oh.
Ruby’s mind still can't move on from what she just witnessed.
“That's still amazing, Ai.” Aqua stares up at their mama like her acting wasn't a blade but a beautiful weapon to decorate. “Mixing up reality, huh? So that's why you chose to be just a cute actress…”
For a moment, Ai’s face looks blank before a painful smile draws on her face. Then, that smile smooths out.
Even Ruby doesn't know if she imagined it. From Aqua’s bright and faraway expression, maybe Ruby did imagine it.
Ai just hugs Aqua.
He returns it.
Then, Ai’s eyes met Ruby’s.
There's a look of relief on her face.
Maybe because they both understood how that method of acting is so terrifying to wield.
Ruby can't say the same for her twin.
Something in her veins tingles at the thought to act like that, using a dangerous skill.
A whisper follows; what if I could do the same thing?
***
“My name is Hoshino Ruby, please take care of me,” she says with a bow to the B-Komachi members.
Unsurprisingly, all the members flock around Ruby, cooing at how cute she is. Not the first time.
If Aqua was here, he would've scowled by seeing Ruby happily receive the comments, knowing how she's internally smug about it.
Having mama’s genes is truly amazing!
Saitou clears his throat. “I'll check your choreo later, I need to make phone calls for the time being.” He looks down at Ruby. “Be good to them, alright?”
“Yes… dad.” Ruby tries not to grimace which is successful. This is just for the public, for the public.
Saitou refrains himself from wincing, but his left eye twitches a little bit.
At the same time, Ai is trying not to laugh behind the B-Komachi.
“We promise to take care of her while you're gone, president,” Ari says as the other girls nodded.
Originally, Miyako was supposed to be here but it's hard when Aqua has his own shoot to attend.
So Ruby promised Miyako and Ai not to run off when the B-Komachi starts to practise, they agreed. Miraculously, the president also agreed.
When Saitou left, the girls started to dance as Ruby sat by the side.
From the looks of it, the B-Komachi are not close friends, as Ruby thought they were, but the girls are very civil with each other.
Still… there's some things she can't help but notice…
The way Watanabe laughs a little with her mistake and Meimei claps her back then whispers something in her ears. The way Nino shakes her head in exasperation when Watanabe playfully scowls at Takamine, who looks a little sheepish and lets out a giggle. Or the way Ari shares a glance with Kyun as if all of them are sharing an inside joke.
No…
Not all of them share the same inside joke.
Ruby glances at Ai who has a typical smile on her face. The typical smile Ruby always sees on TV, and not the genuine or amusement Ai always shares with her children.
She frowns.
Years ago, when she was still Sarina, she got many headlines about Ai and her friendship with the B-Komachi.
Honestly, she loves their friendship. Ai was 12 years old at that time, same with the others.
Watching Ai’s smile, Ruby remembered the first time she became a fan as Sarina.
It was awkward but genuine.
So what happened?
As she mulled this over, the group started doing their choreography again and Ruby watched it.
Her thoughts stop at that moment.
She can't help but follow every flex of their muscles, the tiptoe of their legs, the movement as they sway their body.
And then there's Ai who steals the show with every part of the choreo.
It's mesmerising.
Even when the choreography was done multiple times by now for the past hours, Ruby is still watching. She barely noticed Saitou sitting next to her.
“It's amazing, isn't it?” Saitou comments.
Ruby looks up to see Saitou also not taking his eyes off the dancers.
“Ma—Ai or the choreography?”
“The choreography.” Saitou chuckles. “But also Ai too, I never did expect that clumsy girl to be an amazing centre years after.”
She agrees. There's a time Ai was not as enigmatic as the Ai in the present. Her normalcy and just purely having fun on the stage made Sarina a fan.
Ruby shakes the thought away. “The choreo is amazing too. Who is the one doing it?”
“Ari and Nino.”
Oh? Ruby was expecting some famous person who knows how to do a choreo. Still, Ari is not surprising, but Nino? Ruby starts to shake her head. It kinda made Ruby flush from shame how she's too judgemental with other members.
“Nino was unexpected.”
Saitou laughs a little. “It is but then again Ai unexpectedly became the main producer for the B-Komachi.”
And it's the truth.
As Sarina, she just knew the B-Komachi when they were just starting. Hell, she knows everything about them as much as the public can know.
But when she became Ruby, her mama is the only thing that matters. So Ai is the only one Ruby follows, occasionally it's Kyun and Ari.
“It's sad to see that Ai is the only one the public acknowledges,” Ruby murmurs out. “Even me, I didn't appreciate the other members enough until now.”
There's some silence.
Ruby’s eyes widened.
Did she say that out loud? Telling that to the person who handles the B-Komachi?
She looks up and… yep, she said it out loud considering Saitou is now staring at her.
“Are you really a 3 year old kid?” Saitou asks after a moment of silence.
Eek.
Ruby refrains from crossing her arms, but instead flips her hair with an uncontrollable grimace smile. “Of course I am.”
Saitou stares at her in disbelief. Did Ruby do something wrong? When she does this to Aqua, her brother always backs off.
But Saitou just shakes his head in exasperation. “What the hell did Ai bring into this world?” He murmurs quietly.
Ruby also wants to know the answer considering the fact Ai has not one, but two reincarnators children.
“Then again,” Saitou continues. “Your brother is also something from what I heard.”
Ruby keeps quiet as she lets Saitou have his own thoughts whirl inside his head.
“Anyway.” He clears his throat. “From what I'm seeing, the idol industry is changing.”
“What do you mean?” She asked curiously.
“There’s been some whispers of a new trend about idols doing their own production in the future.”
“So basically idol groups want to do self albums?”
“Yes, but it's not that easy.” Saitou frowns as he watches the B-Komachi.
Ruby agrees. From what she observes during her bonding time with mama in her studio, it's not easy to produce a song that the management will agree on.
“They are not Ai,” Ruby says.
The older man agrees. “I don't know how Ai was able to produce a song but she managed it with great success.” He sighs. “Sometimes, it feels like she's a genius.” The man blinks for a moment. “Nevermind, I think she's a genius idol.”
And she also has to agree to that.
“From what I see on the internet,” Ruby eventually opens her mouth. “I think ma–Ai is changing the idol industry.”
Saitou whips her head to Ruby in shock.
Did this guy not notice at all?
B-Komachi is becoming popular. There's even a talk about a long world tour which Ruby doesn't want to think about for a moment.
She also likes to search about the B-Komachi on the internet. Well, about Ai’s popularity, but still. Ruby noticed the difference from when she was still Sarina.
Saitou was about to open his mouth, but then, the B-Komachi decided to have their break.
The president stands up and praises all the girls. They happily preened under the compliments.
“By the way,” Saitou glances down at Ruby for a moment. “Who here knows how to play an instrument?”
Did mama tell Saitou that Ruby wanted to learn how to play an instrument?
Makes sense if mama doesn't want to speak with the B-Komachi, also parents need to be the one to speak for their children. In this context, Saitou is her father.
Takamine, Ari and Meimei raise their hands.
“If you have some time, can you teach my daughter a little bit?” Saitou asks. “I know all of your schedules are packed but my daughter wants some advice about it.”
Surprisingly, those three have sparkles on their eyes when it lands on Ruby’s form.
Ruby swallows.
And that's when Ruby dipped her toes into learning how to play guitar, violin, and koto.
Well, that was the starting point because Ruby was three and there's no instrument at sight so at that time she just knows the basics.
***
A few weeks later Ai steps out of the president’s office. The president was surprised but happy to receive the composition for the new album.
She was about to leave the building when suddenly, Ari intercepted her.
Ari smiles sheepishly at her. “Can we talk Ai?” She glances around the lobby. “Alone, please?”
Out of the B-Komachi members, Ari is the person she's more comfortable talking to. There's no reason to deny the request to someone who always has been nice to Ai.
“Sure!” Ai says with a grin.
She follows Ari as they walk out of the room to find a more private place.
When they did find one, it's an empty room where it's used for some ceremony or any kind of events that usually was held inside the Strawberry production.
“Can you please consider our help to create the next album for B-Komachi?” Ari suddenly requests with a bow.
“Eh? sure.” Ai says easily, having another help for the next album is more practical. “So who's the other member if you're saying ‘our?’”
Ari blinks at her owlishly. “That's it?”
Ai tilts her head in confusion. “Of course that's it.”
“You're not… umm… why are you easily accepting this?”
“Eh? Why won't I?”
“Uhh…” Ari thumbs her fingers together, perhaps in a nervous manner. It's quite disorienting to see the most mature member of the B-Komachi so fidgeting with Ai.
Ai refrains from frowning, not in a bad manner or anything but more in a thoughtful way. Why did Ari want to talk in private? Why did she expect to be denied? And if other members want to help Ai to create an album, why—?
Ah right.
“Do you guys think I hate all of you?” Ai says slowly, Ari flinches. “Is that because you expect me to deny you? Then, why do we need to talk in private?”
Ari swallows. “We don't want to pressure you or anything if I directly asked you in public.” She smiles, but it looks more of a grimace to Ai. “We know how much we wronged you in the past so we fully expect you to deny us.”
“What do you mean you wronged me?”
“The fact sometimes you're being left out.” She says with a grimace.
Ai’s eyes soften.
“And about that, I talk with them but I can't—”
“I don't know what you're talking about!” Ai cuts her off with a smile.
The thing is, Ai knows. Ari is their leader in the group so it's already expected for the leader to desire to have an idol group where the members get along.
The B-Komachi get along fine, but it's obvious how they don't interact with Ai as how the other members had with each other. They never talk bad in front of Ai, but they do talk behind her back with burning jealousy and resignation.
Ai does not blame them a little bit.
But Ai was surprised to see Ari kept trying multiple times for the B-Komachi and Ai to become close as they used to, until well… Ari gave up. After that, Ari just tried to keep the group civil as much as possible these past few years.
Ari bites her bottom lip. “I know you're not that oblivious, Ai.” She warily looked her in the eye. “If you didn't notice before, you would've noticed by now because… of Nino. That incident.”
Yes, the B-Komachi never talked badly in front of Ai but there's one particular incident that one of the members did; Nino. That happened years ago.
Still…
“I still don't know what you're talking about though.” Ai chuckles.
Ari sighs. “Even if you don't know what I'm talking about—when you know very well what this is all about—I’m still apologising to you.”
“Hmm, alright.”
“Ai…”
3 years ago, Nino lashed out at Ai of how unfair everything was. Nino was the original centre but Ai stole it. The B-Komachi was supposed to be an idol group and not just Ai and her backup dancers.
It's not like Ai will admit how she vividly remembers that memory. It's one of the lowest of her lows in her life.
“Anyway,” Ai sheepishly says. “Having another person to help with the production—another member who will sing the song at that—is more helpful than you think.”
Ari breathes out. “Then I'm glad.”
“But what brought this on?”
“Your little sister suggested it.”
Sister? She doesn't have—
Right, Ruby. Her daughter.
“Ruby?”
“Yep.” Ari chuckles. “Your little sister is cute by the way. Anyway, Ruby suggested it when we were helping her how to play the instrument we brought for her to practise.” She laughs a little. “As much as a three year old can learn though, the kid still has small hands after all.”
“I'm sure Ruby is going to be good at it once she grows up.”
“I believe so too! Seriously, Ruby is going to be like my sister, my sibling also loves playing numerous instruments—”
Sometimes, Ai forgets the fact Ruby is learning three instruments from the B-Komachi.
Ruby needs an instrument to practise.
“So who's the other member?”
“The other two, actually,” she hesitates for a moment. “Takamine and Meimei.”
The former who has no filter and the latter who tries to be neutral when it comes to Ai.
So that's why Ari needs to talk to Ai alone, if Ari is expecting a rejection that is.
“Alright.”
“Really?” Ari’s eyes shimmer brightly. “So when do we start?”
“Ah that. I already finished it, so I'll ask for your help whenever we need to do the next album.”
“Wait what? You're already finished?”
“Yep!”
“Huh. You're really amazing…”
***
Aqua stares at the script.
The drama he's starting in is about the typical love story of two college students, misunderstanding and rom com ensues. Then it will hit you with pain, which the viewers cry about.
Even Ruby watches it, he watches her cry about Tachibana and Chiya who deserve to be happy. Tachibana is the bad boy and Chiya is the good girl by the way.
Aqua plays as Chiya’s little brother, Kyoka.
As of now, Aqua reads the script for the 100th time.
Yes, he already memorised it the first time Aqua read it. He's staring at the paper because…
He was reminded of how Ai easily acted being sad—by crying with ease.
… Aqua doesn't know how to act like the scene that was written in the script.
The script contains Kyoka lashing out at Chiya because he wants Chiya to be selfish for once and pick what she wants and not what she has to do, AKA to stop focusing on taking care of Kyoka because Chiya has been doing that since they lost their parents.
Chiya needs to get together with the male lead—Tachibana—so she needs to choose her desire over her duty for her little brother.
For his past acting, Aqua just did what the script wanted him to do such as being a smartass and cute to Chiya, it wasn't hard when he sometimes did that with Ruby or Ai.
Then there's also when he was a ghost in a certain film–Gotanda’s film. He just needed to be reminded of what he felt to his own father—well, Gorou’s father—to be able to act raw. Or maybe he should think about Gorou’s feelings to his family? Aqua doesn't have a clue what's his game plan here, honestly.
Anyway, Kyouka is 6 years old. This character is so mature.
Actually, Aqua shouldn't be the one to act in this when the character is only 6 years old but Gotanda needed a small child.
Because Kyouka was born prematurely, Aqua's height is perfect for that.
“Ugh—!”
“What's the matter, prodigy?”
Aqua sighs. For some reason, Gotanda became akin to a guardian to him.
He looks up to him. “Do you think I can act what you want from me in this scene?” He waves the script around.
Gotanda shrugs. “Maybe, maybe not.”
“Very, very helpful.”
The old man chuckles. “What's the problem, prodigy? You're doing just fine for the past few days.”
“It's not enough…”
“Oh?” Gotanda lifts his eyebrows. “Why is that?”
Aqua sighs. “What you're demanding from me these past few days is very simple to me.”
“At your age, it's not a simple thing to do.”
3 years old is not my real age, but Aqua can't tell Gotanda that.
“I'm not like Ai or Arima.” Aqua says. “Those two are the real prodigy.”
“Ai?” Gotanda blinks in disbelief. “She's a decent actress but she's not as good as you think. I knew that when you and Ai were in my movie.”
Aqua snorts. “Just weeks ago, Ai showed me real acting.” He smirks at him, like a proud son. “I just asked her to be sad, then she cried with no effort.”
Gotanda gape. “Seriously?”
“Yep!” He grins before he frowns. “But she also said it's a dangerous kind of acting because the reality and fiction mixes up in her head.”
“Oh.” He quietly murmurs before he laughs, it startles Aqua. “Oh, I see! So that's the kind of actress she is. No wonder she just focuses on being an idol.”
“What do you mean?”
“Listen, prodigy.” Gotanda wryly smirks down at him. “That kind of method is indeed dangerous because when reality and fiction mix up, they sometimes go crazy—and some of them lead to unaliving themselves.”
Aqua’s eyes widened. “How are they able to use that method in the first place?”
“It's either they put their mind and spirit into becoming that character or they implement their past experience too much to act like that and think of it as real, the rare type is combining those two ideas.” Gotanda then winced. “To be able to do the rare type of acting, actors usually lived great hardships to be able to broaden their imagination like that.”
Hmm… Can Aqua do that kind of acting? Obviously not.
It doesn't hurt to try though.
After all, this acting gig is a try-out if Aqua wants this as his career in the future.
He has enough of being a doctor. Aqua's face sours at the thought.
Aqua diligently waits for his turn to shoot. He watched as Chiya—real name Yukimura Akari—acted.
It's astonishing and impressive to see the 19 year old girl act with great adaptability and characterization from the script.
He shouldn't be surprised knowing Yukimura Akari is also a genius.
Japan's acting industry is shaping up into something.
As Aqua ponders how to act, he waits for his next turn to shoot.
It's either they put their mind and spirit into becoming that character or they implement their past experience too much to act like that and think of it as real. Gotanda had said.
Let's see… Aqua has two lives, he can utilise those and choose what kind of experience he should use.
Before that, he needs to stop focusing on himself and think of Chiya as a person and not as a character.
Chiya is an independent person. She has taken care of her brother since he was a baby.
It must be really hard for Chiya to do that alone at such a young age…
It must be really hard for Ai to be a single mother at a young age.
Aqua’s eyes widened.
Oh. Oh.
“Aqua!”
His eyes snap to Gotanda. The older man tilts his head.
“I said your scene is going to start.”
“Ah right.” Aqua awkwardly says before he gets ready. It's fortunate the make-up artist is already done with him and the cameraman just needs to adjust for him.
Ms. Akari smiles down at him. Yes, she can be a bit demanding sometimes but she never treats Aqua or any of the staff bad.
As he got ready, he also surveyed his surroundings. The people are more focused on Akari which is natural because she's the main character but…
He also noticed the fact they are not expecting much on Aqua.
They already did a run through for this scene. It's when there's still time to practise this scene.
Damn it, Aqua needs to be better. He was already given many chances from the fans so he needs to deliver his all here. Otherwise…
It would be infuriating if his acting does not improve.
“Let's do our best, Aqua.” Akari says.
Aqua nods. “I hope I can keep up with you, ms. Akari.”
The girl snorts, amused. “You always did, don't worry.”
Before Aqua can ask more, Gotanda starts counting.
He inhales and exhales.
“Action!”
Kyouka opens his eyes. Chiya smiles down at him, but it's obvious her smile is wobbly.
He runs up to her sister. “What's wrong?”
“Everything is fine, Kyouka.” She pats him on the head. “Anyway, tell me about your school trip.”
“Wait, where is Tachibana?”
Chiya winces. “Sorry, Kyouka but I think you won't see him anymore.”
“What…?” Kyouka steps back. “Weren't you happy with him?”
“Kyouka—”
“Is it me?”
“What—!?” Chiya gape. “No!”
“It's me right?!” Kyouka bit his lip, trying not to cry. “Because you're always focusing on me, it's obvious you chose me over him!”
“What are you talking about, Kyouka?” She tries to grab Kyouka but the boy steps back.
“You're always like this, Chiya!” He screamed at her in a mania. “It's time to choose what you want rather than what you have to do! Or else you're making me an excuse not to do the things you always wanted to do! Just try once in your life and not be a coward!”
At that, Kyouka wipes his tears and runs to his room and shuts his door with a slam.
“Kyouka!” Chiya shouts after him.
“And cut!”
“Woah! That was amazing!” One of the staff said.
“Huh. I never thought that the boy had it.” A female staff chuckles.
Gotanda laughs. “That prodigy did it again!”
“Aqua is amazing!” Akira exclaims. “Wait, is Aqua not getting out of the room?”
The director goes over to the room where Aqua entered. “Aqua?” He knocks.
A few seconds later, Aqua opens his room.
“I'm sorry, I took so long to open the door.” Aqua mumbles. “I’m just trying to calm myself…”
“Is it because you're high on adrenaline?” Akira asks.
“Something like that.” Aqua nods. “I felt agitated earlier…. It feels like…”
“Like you're the real Kyouka and not Aqua?”
Aqua blinks in surprise but he nods.
Akari smiles down at him. “Is this the first time?”
“Mmm.”
“Well, congrats.” She placed her hands on his shoulder. “This is usually how the actors feel when they are cooling down from the scene they just acted in.”
“That happens?”
“Yep!”
Aqua looks up to Gotanda, the older man nods in agreement. He smirks down at Aqua—as if feeling proud of something.
Akari pats him on the head again before she walks away from him.
People really like to pat me on the head…
“Director Gotanda…”
“Yes?”
Aqua gives him a big grin, huge and genuine at that. “I didn't know acting can be so fun.”
Gotanda blinks. A moment after, he laughs.
***
“Ai!” Aqua bounces as he enters their penthouse. “Ruby!”
Miyako is behind him, she looks amused as she watches Aqua but he doesn't care about her expression at the moment.
All he wants is to see his family.
When Ai and Ruby appear from the studio, Aqua hugs Ai.
He looks up and grins at Ai. “I want to become an actor, acting is so much fun!”
Ai gapes at him before she crouches down and gives Aqua a tight hug. “You'll be the best actor out there, Aqua!”
Aqua feels hopeful from Ai's comment.
“Hey, are you forgetting your sister?”
Aqua extricates himself from Ai. He then sees his sister pouting at him, although they both know Ruby is just acting. Usually, Aqua would tease her but right now…
He hugs his twin sister. “I’m really glad I have you as a sister, Ruby!”
There's so many hidden meanings behind those words.
The late night conversation he has with Ruby would be a treasure in a hidden corner of his memory.
For a moment, Ruby stills, surprise features on her body. Then he feels Ruby's smile on his shoulder.
“Anytime, Aqua” She murmurs softly. “Anytime.”
Notes:
Yes, Ai was also good at acting but as you can see she chose to be more focus on being an idol. Although Ai's method of acting is the same as Kei Yonagi from Act Age which was inspired. I also chose this writing direction for Ai because it's going to be integral part of her character, especially when we have the movie arc which will contains Ai's past, all of the B-komachi members, and of course Hikaru.
anywayyyy I'm going to warn everyone that both Ruby and Aqua will become OP when it comes to being an actor/idol. Especially Aqua because he needs to prepare all of his ammunition when it comes to his revenge.
Chapter 9: Book 1: Opportunities
Summary:
“Why do you need to watch this when you already know the composition of this album?” Aqua glares at her.
She smirks. “Jealous?”
He scoffs. “Of course not, just curious.”
Indeed Ruby already knows, considering the fact Ruby somewhat did help to create the latest album months ago—by watching their mama and giving some suggestions two or three times.
Aqua gives her a scowl while Ruby stares at him angelically.
Notes:
Warning though; there's suicide and depression mention but it's because that's literally about Ai's lyrics in her new album.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Tada!”
Ruby blink at the instrument Ai holds in the palm of her hands.
Ai smiles brightly. “For you, Ruby!”
Her hands shake a little as she accepts the small violin.
Behind Ai, her brother looks amuse at Ruby’s reaction but she paid it no mind because what the fuck she got a violin?!
The small violin is in her hands, it's in her fucking hands.
The thing is, it's easy to learn guitar first but—
For some reason, Ruby fell in love with Takamine’s play.
For the past months, Ruby watched Takamine play the violin. Sometimes, Takamine lets her hold the instrument but it's a bit difficult when Ruby has tiny hands.
Still, Ruby is determined to be able to learn even if there's too many handicaps.
But now… there's a small violin in her hands, perfect for her stature.
Ruby starts tearing up.
Before Ai can open her mouth, Ruby gently put the violin on the table and flung herself on Ai’s stomach.
“Thank you, mama!”
This must be pricey…
Ai hugs Ruby back, her smile becomes soft. “At Aqua's request, he signed to the Strawberry production as an actor. So it's kinda unfair if I only gave one of you a present for the hard work that I saw for the past months.”
Ruby giggles. “Just in time, Youth of winter is on tune. Let's see if it's worth it for Aqua to sign the contract.”
Aqua looks horrified at the prospect of their family watching his acting on the screen. Like always.
“It's better be worth it.” Ai smiles mischievously in Aqua’s direction. “Ruby, I welcome any criticisms about your brother’s acting.”
Aqua groans but resigned to his fate.
But the thing is, the three of them know Ruby will never do that unless Aqua did really badly.
Theatrical runs in the family.
The new episode of Youth of winter will start in another hour. Ai has some calls to make while Ruby is mesmerising the violin her mother bought.
“It's a good thing, right?”
Ruby looks up to see Aqua smiling at her.
Aqua scans the small violin. “Knowing Ai, she’ll buy you a guitar and koto after you fully learn how to play the violin.” He smirks. “Up to the challenge?”
She smirks back. “Oh? What's this? Are we having a competition? What kind of competition is it?”
“I’m going to improve my acting and you'll improve your plays.” He says with a smirk. “Deal?”
“Hah! You're on!”
“What's the prize then, Ruby?”
“Loser has to do what the winner wants!”
“Hmph, typical.”
“What? Scared already?”
“As if!”
In Aqua's language, Ruby knows this is how Aqua motivates her.
She really loves her brother but Ruby won't admit that because she knows Aqua won't let her live that down. He’ll tease her to bits.
***
When the Hoshino family starts watching the latest episode of the Youth of Winter, Ruby can't help but recall the competition they have.
“It's me right?! Because you're always focusing on me, it's obvious you chose me over him!”
“What are you talking about, Kyouka?”
“You're always like this, Chiya! It's time to choose what you want rather than what you have to do! Or else you're making me an excuse not to do the things you always wanted to do! Just try once in your life and not be a coward!”
Ruby glances at Aqua’s direction. Her brother covers his face in mortification.
She scoffs. How can he be embarrassed when that's his best performance yet?
Ai gives Aqua a huge grin, happy and proud. “As expected of a genius, your acting is amazing, Aqua!”
Aqua answers by trying to shrink himself.
Despite Aqua’s self low esteem about his acting, Ruby can vision the future of Aqua’s career.
He’ll definitely become one of the best actors in the country. If not, Aqua will definitely be the top 1 best actor. That's the only one of the two options Ruby can imagine.
***
Aqua’s eyes become bright once he sees the B-Komachi uploaded their single.
His twin sister tries to lean behind Aqua but he swiftly dodge her.
“Why do you need to watch this when you already know the composition of this album?” Aqua glares at her.
She smirks. “Jealous?”
He scoffs. “Of course not, just curious.”
Indeed Ruby already knows, considering the fact Ruby somewhat did help to create the latest album months ago—by watching their mama and giving some suggestions two or three times.
Aqua gives her a scowl while Ruby stares at him angelically.
“Being also a fan, I think you understand it's more fun to see these things.” Ruby says.
True. Aqua thinks with a groan.
“Ugh, fine.”
So they watch it from Aqua’s phone. Why not Ruby watching from her own phone? Aqua also doesn't know.
The video starts with a familiar background and clothes.
It's B-Komachi’s theme years ago—a theme Ai supposedly abandoned.
On Aqua’s side, Ruby is also confused by the complicated and confused look on her face.
Then the happy tune of the guitar starts. Ai smiles at the camera, dancing happily as the transition goes to Meimei happily talking with background dancers.
The MV looks like a stage play. It's a unique MV to use, but the familiarity of what the B-Komachi was years ago is there. Like the theme never left.
However, the lyrics are different.
Wear a mask, and become the clown
It's a typical use of tool for the rest of us
Because it's a tool of survival
When you have no one
The B-Komachi dance as they interact with the people who wear school uniforms or the people who appear as a family member.
Then, there's a scene of two parents shouting at Nino. The young girl just smile at them, while in the background, Watanabe looks agitated as she sang the song.
Smile and smile, you are alone in this
If you can refrain to kill yourself
Then refrain to show your inner colour
Refrain and refrain because maybe it's worth it
Is it worth it?
Woah oh oh oh
The drums and bass went crazy in this, Ai and Ari chanted the song so lively.
Then there's the electro music in the background until it becomes the centre of the tune.
Takamine and Nino smile at their friends. Watanabe and Meimei share a grin with each other. Airi and Kyun become dance partners.
Show your laugh, and that's what everyone will complain
Show the smile, and that's what they’ll love
Show your grin, everyone will grin with you
Show your pain, everyone thinks you're a clown.
A clown, clown, clown.
At the ending scene, Ai is shown grinning at the camera and gives the iconic chuu to the audience.
Then the B-Komachi members started their choreography, transitioning with amazing visuals and then to the dance again.
Both twins watch the video, eyes never leaving the screen. Their eyes also follow each members’ movement, feeling a butterfly whooping in their stomach.
“What the hell…?” Aqua is gobsmacked.
At the same time, Ruby is also not doing any better as she stares at Aqua’s phone.
When his phone eventually gave out, Aqua raised an eyebrow at Ruby.
“What are you surprised about?”
Ruby pouts. “It's different when knowing the tune and seeing the MV.”
“Ok, you have a point.” Aqua sighs. “That lyrics though…”
“I was surprised too the first time I heard it.”
“It's definitely a…”
“Controversial thing to create.” Ruby finishes.
“That.” Aqua nods. “Ai really loves to be risky.”
“I bet president Saitou was not happy when he saw the lyrics.”
That burst a laugh out of Aqua’s throat. “I can imagine.”
His sister also chuckles. “At least the song is amazing so he can't complain.”
“Let’s see the Internet's reaction though…”
Ruby grimace. “Alright.”
They scroll through social media.
YouTube
Music video of [Clown] by B-Komachi
68k likes 1.2k dislikes
– Bkomachi strikes again!
– This was amazing, what the hell???
– The song goes brrr
– Ai my love you did it again!
– Am I the only one who thinks it's disgusting for the B-Komachi to use the topic of depression as a song?
^
– Wdym? It's not even portrayed as fun and games
^
– Bro the tune begs to differ
^
– Bro as a suicidal person this is how I feel
– I'm actually disappointed with Ai for this song
^
– Be for real, it's a good portrayal of depression
^
– lol fans defending their bias
– This song made me cry because it's actually what I always feel everyday???
– I don't know what people is talking about but this song is really good for a depressed person like me
– I don't know if I should follow the beat or cry with the lyrics
***
Strawberry production
@BKomachiOfficial 3 hours ago
B-Komachi new music video [Clown]
(Attached video)
101k replies 390k retweets 563k hearts
Number1fan_also
@Bkomachiloves
Should I cry or dance?
291 replies 6k retweets 54k hearts
Moon
@AiMySun
Woah oh oh oh it's been repeating in my head
34 replies 3k retweets 22k hearts
Ai_mylove
@number1fan
THE PRODUCTION IS AMAZING
8 replies 965 retweets 19k hearts
DamianDorks
@Blaxkwitch
Wow, is this how the Japanese media portray this kind of topic? Disgusting
345 replies 2.1k retweets 5k hearts
PercyHarey
@bitchplease
I can't believe Ai is one of the people who made this song? What happened to her innocence?
199 replies 1k retweets 3k hearts
^
Annakay
@moob
The MV is actually a genius move,
enhance your critical thinking please
19 replies 3k retweets 2.8k hearts
HokageNaruto
@mobbing
This is highly inappropriate topic to have in an MV
11 replies 405 retweets 768 hearts
^
Sasuke_the_rouge
@bombing
Good thing you're not the president
of the Strawberry production
7 replies 395 retweets 678 hearts
^
Casual_watxher
@lurker
Even on the internet, Naruto and
Sasuke is still fighting. Funny af
ngl
1 replies 98 retweets 345 hearts
Adrea_clara
@Pandingan
Hello! I'm from another country, I just want the B-Komachi to know how much this song hit me and how it relates so much. Thank you for making this beautiful song!
675 replies 3k retweets 45k hearts
^
Midoriya Akatsu
@Half Akatsu
Thank goodness I'm not the only one
who also felt relatable to this song!
5 replies 201 retweets 2k hearts
***
“I'm really glad mama is more popular than she was years ago.” Ruby mutters.
Aqua nods as he keeps scrolling through the feeds. “If this is an unknown idol, the people would've gone crazy.”
Ruby looks away from the phone, and crosses her arms. “Hey, Aqua. Don't you think the internet has too much power over the people?”
“Does it?” Aqua wonders. It's not like he uses social media often, he wouldn't know.
His sister shakes her head. “You're a really old man.”
Aqua rolls his eyes. “Technically, I am.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Ruby waves her off. “Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if people start demanding something from their artist and suddenly that artist will do it.” She looks at Aqua. “Do you get me?"
“Yeah.” Aqua solemnly says. “Bandwagon.”
Ruby shivers. “The Internet will be more dangerous as years pass by.” She frowns. “Some people are already saying… bad things about mom and other artists.”
With how Aqua—or should he say, Gorou, grew up, trash talking behind his back is normal to him.
His previous family is normal like that.
At least if he becomes a popular actor, Aqua wouldn't be affected as much.
“Ruby, Aqua!” Miyako calls out from the kitchen. “Lunch is ready!”
***
Later that day, Ai got back from work.
Naturally, Aqua and Ruby greet Ai with a hug and smile. Ai happily returns the gesture.
The twins keep giving Ai compliments about the MV that was released, they could tell it made Ai slump in relief.
“By the way, mama, your face looks more mature than it was years ago.” Ruby says as she sits on Ai’s lap.
“Really?” Ai asks as she touches her face.
“You don't have baby fat anymore.” Aqua says as she sat beside Ai. “I think that's what Ruby meant.”
“Is it bad?”
“Nope!” Ruby exclaims. “But you have a different aura when you wear your cute costume again in the MV.”
It’s natural considering the fact Ai is now 20 years old. Aqua thinks back to the 16 year old Ai and then to the present.
The difference in their aura is massive.
“You should wear mature clothing mama!” Ruby suggests.
Ai giggles. “Should I?”
“Mature clothes will surely suit you.” Ruby insists.
“Don’t you think mama is more suited to being cute?” Ai asked in curiosity. “I can still change genres like being cute but dangerous.”
“Maybe but...” Aqua shakes his head. “You’re becoming more beautiful as you grow up, mama.”
Ruby and Ai’s head whip in Aqua’s direction, he almost flinches at the intent stare he is currently receiving.
“Aqua…” Ruby looks astonished but there's joy in her eyes.
At the same time, Ai’s grin is so wide, and too bright.
Did Aqua say something wrong…?
Ruby removed herself from Ai as she pinched her own arm. Weirdo. Then Ruby this time, pinches Aqua’s arms.
“Oi!” Aqua glares at his twin, but his sister is still staring at him as if Aqua complimented her and heaven suddenly shines upon her.
Then, Ai lifts Aqua and puts him on her lap.
Aqua is even more confused.
He mentally wonders what he just said to gain this kind of reaction.
Aqua tries to recall what happened earlier until it clicked in his head. His eyes widen in shock as his jaw smacks on the floor.
Did he just—
“Say it again.” Ai grins excitedly. “Aqua, please say it again!”
Looking at Ai’s excitement, Aqua will never contain her excitement.
It also made Aqua feel guilty for not calling Ai that term for years if Ai can make this kind of expression.
Aqua bashfully looks down.
“Mama.” He murmurs.
Ai gasp and Ruby grins.
“Say it again, please.” Ai exclaims with a grin.
“Mama.” Aqua softly says. “Hi, mama.”
Ai squeals. She then pulls Ruby towards her and squeezes the lights out of them.
She laughs. “I'm really happy.”
And for some reason...
Calling Ai in that term made something in Aqua’s chest loosen.
It also made Aqua happy.
To have a warm family like this… he would not have it in any other way. Aqua is truly blessed to have this second life.
Even his confusing dreams—past memories—can't even bring his mood down.
***
“Remember Gorou, the game of chess should always be implemented in real life.”
“Such as?” The 7 year old questioned.
“Like a King does, use your people around you if they'll be able to utilize themselves to reach the king’s goals.”
“But Kings care about their people, right?”
A scoffed. “Then why does the king always sacrifice his people just to save his own skin?” The person in front of him smiled ruthlessly. “Even the queen—who he married—is not safe.”
“Are you saying I can use you grandpa?”
There's a beat of silence.
Gorou’s eyes widened, he was about to throw himself to the floor and beg for forgiveness but his grandfather threw his head and laughed.
He watched as the old man laughed and laughed, tears prickling in the corner of his eyes from joy.
“I knew it.” There's a jovial tone in his voice despite the laughter died down in his throat. “There's a reason you're my favorite grandchild, Gorou.”
Gorou bathed the compliments on those words.
But he knows those words are also a threat.
***
“Are you really 3 years old?”
“4.”
“I still can't believe you can memorize all of your lines easily…”
Memorizing is a powerful tool Gorou used since growing up, Aqua is not surprised he was able to acquire that.
Aqua went back to imagining the script he was given while Gotanda looked at him in disbelief.
He's going to be cast again in a series, but this time, he's going to be the child version of the Male lead.
The male lead in the past was a bully to the female lead, so Aqua needs to act as obnoxious and annoying as possible. The character’s name is Hiroto, while the girl’s name is Maya.
“This is totally different from my previous role…”
Gotanda smirks. “Is it too difficult for you?”
“On the contrary, it's too easy.”
“Well, then. That settles.”
Aqua frowns at the script. He can't help but think Gorou’s life before he become a doctor. Gorou was taught to be a brutal person when the environment keeps punishing him with harsh vengeance.
That's how fucked up the family he grew up in.
There's a reason Kujou—her previous sister—doesn't trust him.
She knew very well how cruel Gorou Amamiya can be.
That's the thing Hoshino Aquamarine would never forget.
“Hey, director.” Aqua murmurs out for a moment. “Do you really think I’ll be a good actor?”
The director lifted his eyebrow. “You already are.”
“But—” it's because he's a reincarnated person, a man pretending to be someone he's not, a deceiver who is deceiving himself. “Nevermind.”
His self esteem is being stabbed at the moment.
Even in the past, he was called a genius.
Well, he was a genius because he was a hard working person.
If he wasn't, his family would've throttled Gorou with full wrath. Their golden child should always be impeccable.
Until Gorou was disowned, if Aqua remembered correctly.
Suddenly, there's a palm on the top of his head.
Aqua gives Gotanda a questioning look.
“Just focus on the script in your hands.” He says softly. “Don't second guess and have fun.”
Right. He decided to accept this job because for the first time, Aqua had fun.
No one is forcing him to be someone he's not. No one is forcing him to become a doctor—an occupation that brings the family a worthwhile reputation.
And even if this feeling burns, he has a long future ahead of him. Like what Ruby told him.
“Alright.” Aqua nods. “Anyway, I want to see that one movie—”
***
Gotanda escorted Aqua home.
Despite Ai’s frown and Miyako’s concern, he insists on hanging out in Gotanda's studio for just one day. But in one condition, Miyako should also be in the room.
Ruby doesn't want to go because she wants to practice playing violin so she got to hang out with Saitou—or well, Saitou is on babysitting duty.
Anyway, he wants to see all kinds of movies that can improve Aqua’s acting at Gotanda's disposal.
After that, Gotanda let him watch the works he did as a director. Suffice to say, it's incredibly useful to see how the camera and directing are being utilized in the background.
Aqua pleads again to go to the director’s studio, that's where it becomes a routine at that point.
Fortunately, at this point, Miyako doesn't need to go anymore as she fully trusts Gotanda. Same with Ai.
“I'm home.” Aqua loudly says as he enters the penthouse.
He then heard a violin playing from the living room.
The tune is “twinkle, twinkle little star.” It's a basic play but—
Aqua rushes to the living room and sees Ruby perfecting the play.
She then notices him, Ruby smiles as she finishes playing the violin.
“How is it?”
“I'm thankful I don't need to hear a dying hyena every time you practice. I can finally sleep peacefully.”
“You little shit—”
Before Ruby can throw a pillow or violin in Aqua’s direction, Miyako walks between them.
“Now, now, children.” Miyako sighs. “Let’s calm down before a certain object gets accidentally destroyed.”
Ruby scowls at Aqua. “Well, you're going to hear a dying whale from me later because that's not the only piece I'm going to practise.”
Ugh.
“By the way, Aqua.” Miyako sat down on the couch as the twin followed suit, but Ruby also turned on the television. “How is the script for you?”
Aqua shrugs. “It's actually not hard, but I need to practice more of it.”
“What are you going to play as?” Ruby asks.
“The male lead's child version.”
Miyako smiles at Aqua. “If you need help, we're here to do so.”
Over the years, Miyako changed.
At first, Aqua thought the president’s wife wanted to butter up Aqua and Ruby because they are the supposed incarnation of the gods.
But now, Aqua is sure Miyako became fond of the twins.
There's some warm feeling in his chest as he thinks about his new ‘family.’
As they talk about the topic they can all think about, it's very prominent of someone’s absence as the hours goes by.
All of them knew about Ai’s world tour.
It still doesn't change the fact Aqua and Ruby missed her.
Dinner came up, and a few hours went by, Aqua and Ruby got ready for bed.
They both enter the bunk bed. Ruby climbs up to her own bed as Aqua easily lays on his own bed.
Before their eyes dropped, Ruby spoke.
“You'll do great with your new role.”
“Thanks.” Aqua smiles.
Another silence.
“You'll be able to master playing the violin perfectly in no time.”
Ruby chuckles. “I know.”
***
Weeks later, Aqua’s first shooting of ‘Daylight sun’ starts.
“My name is Sana Kurata.” The child bows in greeting. “Pleasure to meet you!”
Aqua greets in kind. “Aqua Hoshino, pleasure to also meet you.”
Yeah, he's not going to introduce himself as Hoshino Aquamarine. No, thank you.
Behind Kurata, he sees Miyako smiling while watching Aqua and Kurata. He knows Miyako is happy Aqua is finally talking to someone his own age except Ruby.
Kurata grins at him. “I saw your previous role, It was amazing by the way!”
“Thank you.” He scratches his nape. “Sorry, I don't know your other works uhh—”
“It's fine, it's fine! I mostly do commercials and theater plays but this is the first time I'll act on TV!”
From the way Kurata carries herself, Aqua is suddenly reminded of her sister. There's a difference though, Kurata is 2 years older than Aqua and Ruby.
Kurata as Maya is the first one to shoot with other characters. It's a scene where the female lead’s past is being shown.
Aqua watches in awe as she sees Kurata—Maya as of this moment, grins around the people who made her character suffer. It's quite mesmerizing in a way.
It's amazing to have that kind of presence.
It kinda makes Aqua self conscious.
He needs to do a great job playing his role as Hiroto.
In his previous role, Aqua is the only child actor, so he doesn't have another person to compare himself with, unlike what he did when he acted together with Kana Arima.
Miyako pats him on the head. Aqua looks up to see Miyako smiling reassuringly.
It's embarrassing for Miyako to see Aqua’s moment of weakness. He's a grown man, dammit.
“In an hour you're next, Hoshino.”
Aqua looks up to see the producer—Masaya Kaburagi—frowning at him.
He internally rolls his eyes. It's obvious this producer doesn't have any expectations of him.
***
An hour later, they practiced the scene. He was surprised to see Kurata make a sound of agony and tries to smile as Aqua says his line.
Hmm, Kurata Sana is going to be someone big in the future.
Of course, during the run through, Aqua didn't try hard. Although that still made Kaburagi twitch by the look on his face.
A few moments passed by, and they decided to shoot for real.
“Let's do our best, Aqua!” Kurata says with a grin.
Aqua nods.
Then, he closed his eyes.
He remembers the camera around the corner, the lightning on the edge and the mic hangs around.
A memory comes up in his mind albeit it's foggy—Aqua can’t forget the cruelty of Amamiya Gorou.
He saw in his dreams of child Gorou mocking his classmates, looking high and mighty, throwing every insult he can think of.
Amamiya Gorou was such a little shit when he was a child.
He opens his eyes.
“Action!”
“You're the new girl in town?” Hiroto sneers. “Someone who grew up from trash can't be transferring here.”
Maya smiles at him. “Well, I'm here so it is possible.”
He grabs her collar. “Are you looking down on me?”
The girl’s eyes went wide before her mouth went thin. “I'm not.”
“Then be sure you're not.” Hiroto grins at her maliciously. “Because my father will hear everything once you insult me.”
Maya bit her bottom lip. “Alright.”
Hiroto smirks, still not letting her collar go. Then, he whispered, “Good luck with your life, daughter of trash.” Hiroto then let go of her, abruptly dropping her.
Maya glares at him from the ground.
“What are you looking at?” He sneers.
“Just thinking your father is the amazing one, not you.”
Hiroto’s face twists. “What did you say?!”
“Cut!”
Aqua snaps out from his character. He collapses on the floor as he tries to breathe.
“Aqua!” Suddenly, Miyako is right next to him.
Behind her, Kurata stares at him in concern.
“I'm fine—” Aqua exhales. “I'm just—”
Too overwhelmed, too much in character, too much mixing with his past life.
Aqua glances up at Kurata. “I didn't hurt you, did I?”
Kurata shakes her head. “I'm fine, you should be more worried about yourself.”
“But I just grab you in a collar so abruptly and—”
It wasn't even on the script!
“Aqua, I'm an actress.” Kurata smiles at him. “I can handle it.”
Miyako helps Aqua to stand up as Aqua nods to Kurata.
“You should rest.” Miyako tells him.
“But—”
“No buts.” Miyako firmly says.
Aqua looks over at Kaburagi who nods in agreement towards Miyako.
He can't help but notice Kaburagi’s stare lingers on Aqua’s back.
Shit, the scene wasn't even finished yet but they decided to call out a cut.
***
For 30 minutes, Miyako helps Aqua to accompany him, relaxing and trying not to be too stressed. But it's obvious how Aqua is in distress right now, he can't help but think he messed up. Fidgeting ang expression all out in the open.
Miyako grabs Aqua’s hands. “Aqua, you didn't messed up anything—”
“Sir Kaburagi just cut the scene—”
“From an outside point of view,” Miyako cut him off. “You were amazing out there, even other people who were watching couldn't help but be amazed at you.”
Aqua clenched Miyako’s hands. “I almost hurt Kurata.”
“Didn't Kurata tell you she can handle it?” Miyako says with a matter of fact. “Besides, if you hurt her, the staff will interfere immediately.”
Before Aqua can open his mouth, Kaburagi enters the room suddenly.
The producer kneels down in front of Aqua, his eyes looking in awe.
“Your performance was incredible, Hoshino.”
Aqua blinks. “Pardon?”
***
Apparently, Aqua made the scene more cinematography when he casted himself less brightly, distancing himself from the lights. Or when Aqua is acutely aware of the cameras, he tries to catch every angle as he acts. Or when he whispered his line to Kurata, it's loud enough from the small mic that is closer to Aqua.
He told all of this to Ruby.
“You're really good at this…” Ruby comments on it as she looks shocked.
Aqua shrugs. “Not really, everyone can do that.”
Ruby stares at him in disbelief. “You are really a perfectionist.”
“Am I?”
“Yeah! I still remember you reviewed our lesson for the school quiz! You memorize every little detail and create a situational test despite the fact it's preschool level.”
He blushed in embarrassment. “That action was very valid.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Yuh-uh.”
Ruby rolls her eyes. “Whatever.” She then gives him a look. “What kind of life were you living in your previous life to be this perfectionist and have low self esteem?”
Aqua’s expression stutters.
She winced. “Sorry that was personal—”
“Let's just say…” Aqua cuts her off softly. “My family comes from a lot of money, and they expect a lot from me—which means I need to be perfect in any way.”
“Oh.” Ruby’s eyes turn sad and wistful. “I get that. I get that, a lot.”
“Are you sure?” Aqua’s face turns to amusement. “Because I was a bastard child.”
“What?”
“Yep!” Aqua exclaims. “Me and my sister are the bastard children.”
“Are you ok?”
“You, more than anyone else, know the answer to that.”
Ruby grimace. Aqua can practically see the late night sessions flash in her mind.
“Are they expecting you to be perfect in grades and physics or something?”
“Like that, yes.” Aqua sighs. “They did plan my future.”
Ruby gazed at him with so much sadness, it made Aqua look away.
“That must be a torture for you…”
“Maybe.” He says. “I honestly don't know because I'm already numb at this point.”
“So if you're really perfect in any way, do you know how to fight?”
Aqua’s mouth twitches. It's so Ruby to reply like that. Random but genuinely curious.
Ruby lifts an eyebrow. “It's a genuine question to answer.”
“Well,” Aqua smirks. “They made me join every club, so I did learn how to fight.”
“Even in some sports?”
“Even some sports.”
“A doctor who knows many things…?”
“Oh by the way, what kind of occupation have you had in your past life?”
Ruby tilts her head, a smile wryly paints in her face. “I wanted to become a professional ice skater so becoming a ballerina is an extra skill to have!”
“You're a ballerina?”
“Yep! But unfortunately, I didn't become an ice skater.”
Watching his twin sister, Aqua notice how deeply uncomfortable Ruby feels at this type of topic so he changed the subject.
“Funny. My family made me learn every type of dancing, so I did learn how to do ballet.”
“What the hell?! Why would you need to learn to do something like that?!”
“For boasting whenever they socialize.”
There's a beat of hush silence. Ruby eyes him, a look of understanding in her bright eyes.
Aqua is willing to bet Ruby also came from a big money, not as rich as Gorou but still came from a lot of money.
“Huh.” Ruby clears her throat. “I wouldn't be surprised if you know some languages.”
He stays silent, welcoming the change of topic and answering enough for the sudden quietness from Aqua. In his silence, Ruby leans forward.
“Seriously?!” She gasps. “How many?”
“Ten.”
“What?!” Ruby jaw smacks the floor. “Unfair! I only know four!”
“Oh?” Aqua tilts his head, curious. “What kind?”
“Japanese, English, French and Korean!”
“How the hell did you learn those languages?”
“How the hell did you learn ten languages?”
Aqua scratches his cheek. “I'm practically a representative to my family so I'm usually the one who meets their clients.” He taps his cheek. “They also want me to learn some language. What about you? How did you learn?"
“My mom speaks English fluently.” Ruby says. “But I learned Korean and French from my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?”
“I had a boyfriend. He's a doctor.”
“That poor man…”
At that comment, Ruby kicked him hard.
“Aww.”
“Anyway, it became our bonding moment.”
“Knowing you, It's either you were bored or you were really interested to learn more languages.”
Ruby smiles a little but it's a sad one. “I was bored because I had nothing to do.”
For some reason, Aqua chose not to venture more on that topic.
It's an opening for Ruby to ask more questions about the languages Aqua learned.
Just in time, Miyako walks in the living room, paperworks in her hand.
Miyako furrows her eyebrows. “Why are you both speaking in Korean?”
The twins blinked at her.
Then, Ruby smiles. “I want to see if we know more languages! It's a new discovery for us!”
“You both know some languages?”
“Yep! Mine is ten.” Aqua answers. “And Ruby knows four.”
“How the hell—Right. Both of you are not normal children. Hell, it's already a talent to know two languages—” Miyako mutters as she goes back to her own spare room to think more about abnormal babies.
Aqua and Ruby look at each other, they grin and burst out laughing.
Notes:
And no! learning multiple languages is not common. Massive talent and hardwork to learn those contributed that. Gorou and Sarina was never normal in the first place lmao (There's a reason the gods chose them tp be reincarnated after all---"
Chapter 10: Book 1: Instruments
Summary:
“Takamine!” Ruby has a hand on her violin. “I have improved so much!”
Takamine’s mouth twitches into a smile as she watches Ruby enthusiastically talk. Ai can't blame her when her daughter is being too cute.
“Can I see you play, Ruby?” Takamine asks.
“Yes! Yes!” Ruby agrees easily, obviously wanting Takamine to be impressed.
As Ruby plays, she sees the other B-Komachi members be impressed and also at awe for Ruby.
Notes:
This chapter is short but the next chapter will be much longer :')
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“I'm home!”
Ruby and Aqua rushes towards Ai.
The three of them fall on the floor while Miyako and Saitou watch in exasperated manner.
Ai grins as she hugs her two children. She really misses them so much.
She gives Aqua and Ruby a kiss on the forehead before hugging them again.
“My wife and I will be going.” Saitou reminds Ai.
Ai nods at him and Miyako, then she goes back to hugging her children while the couple left the penthouse.
***
“I watched the new drama you casted in.” Ai says to Aqua. “It was amazing!”
She watches as Aqua’s cheeks turn red. “It was nothing…”
“That was nothing, Aqua! Your performance was incredible!” Ai insists.
“Don't bother, mama.” Ruby says with a sigh. “Aqua doesn't think his acting is not that great.”
“Really?”
“What Ruby said is true though.” Aqua glares at Ruby before his eyes soften to Ai. “But I'll improve my acting even better!”
Ai smiles at Aqua’s motivation. It's rare for her son to have one, but he's glad he's happy with what he's doing. Although it makes her sad to see that Aqua is not confident with his acting, Ai hopes Aqua will be more confident in the future.
“By the way, mama.” Aqua glances at Ruby, while Ai can't move on to the fact Aqua is now calling her mama, it makes her feel giddy. “Ruby has to show you something.”
“Hey!” Ruby blush. This time, it's her glaring at Aqua, while Aqua smirks.
Is this how siblings usually interact?
“Ugh, fine.” Ruby runs to her room. Ai glances at Aqua in curiosity, Aqua just beams at her.
Then, Ruby comes back with a violin Ai bought her.
Ruby positioned herself right in front of Ai, and put her violin on her collarbone.
Then she plays.
The tune is soft and melodic, it's a comforting song as Ruby tries to be slow and gentle.
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.
That's the song, right?
Ai starts to sing with Ruby’s play. Ruby eyes widen as Aqua stares between the two of them.
Inside the living room, the three of them are in a companionable silence.
It's comforting and warm.
Ai is glad to be home.
***
2 days later, her rest break ends.
“Are you sure you won't go with us, Aqua?” Ai asked her son.
Aqua shakes his head. “Sorry mama but I want to go to Gotanda today.”
They did talk about this already. Aqua informed Ai of Gotanda's invitation to see some of the actors during filming—the film is from Gotanda’s friends, the two of them will be visiting. Aqua would need further details about a few actors and the backstage life, particularly the supporting cast. It's to improve Aqua’s acting and to learn more about the entertainment industry.
Still, Ai worries.
She knew, more than anyone, how a child can be so much exposed to an acting industry.
Ai thinks about someone who was a victim of—
Ai asked Miyako to look out for Aqua. Thankfully, Miyako readily agreed.
Miyako drops them off on the strawberry production building, Ai and Ruby say their goodbye to Aqua and Miyako.
As they enter where the B-Komachi usually gathers, Ruby runs toward Takamine.
Ai can't help but notice Ari’s absence.
“Takamine!” Ruby has a hand on her violin. “I have improved so much!”
Takamine’s mouth twitches into a smile as she watches Ruby enthusiastically talk. Ai can't blame her when her daughter is being too cute.
“Can I see you play, Ruby?” Takamine asks.
“Yes! Yes!” Ruby agrees easily, obviously wanting Takamine to be impressed.
As Ruby plays, she sees the other B-Komachi members be impressed and also at awe for Ruby.
“That kid is amazing…” Meimei murmurs next to her. “She's already playing another song.”
“I know right?” Ai says with a proud grin.
“I also want her to see a guitar.”
“How is she on guitar by the way?”
“Pretty impressive too.” Meimei says. “I mean the basic stuff because the guitar is too big for her but it's still amazing nonetheless for her own age.”
“It's because she has a teacher like you.” Ai smiles.
Meimei grinned at the praise. “Thanks.”
This is also a new development she has with the three B-Komachi members. It's a type of development wherein the three members welcome Ai, not their star for popularity gain but treating her just a coworker with no malice.
Although they only talk about business, production and Ruby’s development, it's still an improvement from the previous relationship Ai had with them.
“I'm sorry, I'm late!” Ari enters the room, holding a huge bag.
Nino and Kyun rushed to help Ari hold the bag, and put it in the center of the room.
Ruby blink at Ari. “Why is it so huge? Is there money inside the bag?”
Many chuckles at Ruby’s comment. Ai knows sometimes her daughter can be random but funny.
“Not money but…” Ari trails off as she opens the zipper.
Ruby's mouth gape.
“It's my koto.” Ari gestures to the koto. “It's all yours.”
Oh?
“Really?” Ruby asks as she touches the koto. “But this is worth of gold!”
Ari chuckles. “I don't use it anymore so it's a waste if I just put it in the garage.”
“Alright! It's mine!” Ruby’s eyes twinkle. “No take backs, promise?”
“Promise.”
Ai is glad people thought Ruby endearing but she winces when Ruby shamelessly takes the instrument so easily.
She can practically see Aqua’s face of disappointment.
“Here, let me teach you the real stuff.” Ari excitedly says. “You still remember the pointers I taught you, right?”
“Yep!”
“This is my finger picks, it's also yours now!”
“Yey!”
As they wait for Saitou to come out of his hiding, they watch Ari teach Ruby.
Since they will only be talking about the concert's success and their next plan as a group, if Ai is being completely honest, she doesn't want to go to work today. Just talking, with no dance to rehearse and have no idea what kind of concept the next album will have.
But as Ai watches Ari and Ruby, it's worth it to see someone teach Ruby as her daughter is happy about it.
Then, a spark of inspiration comes to her.
Wait, next plan—
New album—
Ai stares at the scene she's witnessing.
She has a new album plan.
***
“Ruby, can you do me a favor?” Ai asked once the day ended and met up with Miyako and Aqua in the car. “Please?”
“Anything for you, mama!” Ruby abruptly answers.
Aqua and Miyako glance at them in question. Aqua then steals a look at the huge bag Ruby and Ai brought.
“Can you not accept Ari’s koto yet?” At Ruby’s confusion, she explains. “Ari will need that koto for our production and maybe for our concert.”
Ruby’s mouth went wide, then she grins. “Ok, mama!” She glanced at the huge bag in front of them. “But when will we return it?”
“If the plan gets accepted, we’ll return it. If it did get accepted, it would be a few more months before you can have the koto back.”
Her daughter frowns in confusion but she still nods.
***
Ai called Ari the next day. Ari is one of the people who will help her in production after all.
Ari awkwardly chuckles. “Ai, I have another available koto here, so it's fine.”
“Oh.”
That's good. Ruby doesn't need to bring back the koto, her daughter is trying to play it from the other side of the house despite how small her finger is still.
“So what do you need the instrument for by the way?”
Ai smiles. “A band theme mixed up with idol concert.”
***
Ruby hums as she starts to position her koto and try to play it. She can't wait to play more koto despite the fact she needs to go to school today.
“You got so lucky, huh?” Aqua comments as he sits on the couch of the living room.
“Lady luck is on my side, now me and my koto can't be separated ever again.”
Aqua rolls his eyes as he fixes the collar of his school uniform. “Sure, drama queen.”
Ruby starts to play the koto, while Aqua cringes at the noises Ruby produces on the instrument.
She smirks at him seeing how he's suffering.
Ruby then sees Aqua itching to throw a pillow at her. She chuckles.
“Time for breakfast “ Miyako calls out as she walks to the living room. She lifts an eyebrow at the koto and to Ruby. “You have classes today, play it later once you get home.”
Ruby pouts. “Alright…”
She puts the instrument away, eats breakfast, and goes to school.
As the lesson went by, Ruby daydreamed of playing the koto. She can't wait to master the instrument.
There's a moment in a day Aqua magically hears her thoughts, the blonde shakes his head to Ruby with an exasperated freon.
“Don't neglect your other child.”
“My other child?” Ruby asks.
“Your violin.”
“Oh.” She frowns. “I won't do that! I love my babies equally.”
Aqua smirks at her, amused. “Look at that, you're a proud mom.”
“Do you want a fist on your face?”
“Nope but I think you need to listen to the school announcement because you've been daydreaming since this morning.”
“There's going to be announcement?”
Aqua rolls his eyes. “Case in point.”
Before Ruby can say more, their teacher clears her throat.
“The school was founded 10 years ago, in two months it's the anniversary.” The teacher smiles at the children. “We’re going to celebrate the event, and our class has been chosen to host a dance.”
Dance…?
Nonononono
“No!” At her shout, Aqua whips his head to Ruby in surprise. Ruby then stands up and leaves the room.
There's a static inside her head as she just needs to get away from there, so she runs as far as she can from the room.
She heard someone calling out from her but she's not sure, all Ruby wants is to not dance.
Ruby hides behind a large tree, she hugs her knees, and lays her head between her knees.
There’s rustling footsteps from behind her but she didn't dare to look up.
“Ruby?” Aqua tentatively takes a step to her. “What’s wrong? Why did you run away?”
“I'm a lousy dancer.” That's the only answer Ruby can give Aqua.
“Were kids, we are allowed to be lousy dancers. If this is about balancing your body because you're still not used being in a child's body—”
“That's not it, Aqua.” She chuckles. “I just suck at dancing.”
The thing is, when thinking about her conversation with Aqua being a ballerina in the past…. Ruby tried to do a ballet in this lifetime.
But she falls. Just even dancing—Ruby couldn't do it. Shock and hurt in her heart, realizing the fact Ruby can't dance anymore.
Some genius ballerina she was in the past.
Aqua sat beside Ruby, their knees pressing together. It comforts Ruby, never realizing it was needed until now.
“You were a ballerina, right?” Aqua asks.
“Yeah, and I became a lousy dancer.”
“That's why it confuses me.” Aqua blinks. “Have you lost interest in dancing because of something that happened in the past?—Ah right, you did wish to become a professional ice skater.”
Right. Her brother is a smart person, he’ll connect the dots soon. So Ruby gives him the answer.
Ruby gives him a painful look. “Let's just say I can't walk after I made a name for myself.”
“Oh.” Aqua wince. “Sorry.”
“It's fine.” Ruby bit her bottom lip. “So yeah, I can't dance.”
Aqua grabs Ruby’s hands and squeezes it. “Try again, but this time I'll be there for you to be your anchor.” He smiles at Ruby so gently. “You've got a life ahead of you, after all.”
Ruby snorts. “Throwing my words right back at me.” She put her head on Aqua's shoulder. “So cheeky.”
Aqua laughs. “I learned from the best.”
For that comment, Ruby would've pinched him on the side by now but she decided against it. Her brother is trying to cheer her up, after all.
Learning to dance again, huh?
She became a ballerina because she wanted to be a good ice skater, maintaining such grace and balance. And Sarina was good at it.
But it all went down, so it doesn't matter anymore if she was a ballerina or not in the past.
Because she's still a lousy dancer.
***
“Let’s start dancing what you will like.” Aqua decides. “One of mama’s concerts?”
“I want the Heart’s kiss.” Ruby says.
“Alright.”
“You go first though.”
“Fine.”
Both of them are inside the room where mama usually practices her choreography. It's her dance studio.
Aqua did the choreo properly but—
Ruby laughs out loud.
Her twin brother looks like he's been blackmailed to do this, and it's also an expression of a soldier ready to be in battle. His expression throughout the song makes him look like a robot.
And Aqua was right. His brother knows how to dance from his experiences in the past. The expression was something though
“Hey!” Aqua blush. “It's a good dance.”
“It is a good dance.” Ruby agrees easily. “But your expression is left to be desired.”
“Shut up, you’re next by the way.”
Ruby exhales through her nose. She raises her arms and starts to twirl.
As expected, Ruby falls.
“Ruby!” Her twin brother helps her sit up.
“I'm gonna do it again.”
There's a worried frown on his face but he nods. “Ok.”
Ruby tries a different choreo from the same song. She starts to take a step and switch it with another foot.
She falls again.
Aqua lets her when Ruby tries again despite how worried he is. This time, it's a basic dance, a mismatched step for a moment but she still falls.
“It’s as if you're bracing yourself to fall whenever you dance.” Aqua murmurs out once he helps Ruby sit up again.
This time, Ruby didn't stand up.
With her cancer, it's expected her body will fail her, thus, it's expected for her to fall. Whenever she moved, Sarina needed to protect herself from landing on the floor.
She’ll get hurt after all.
“I’m hopeless…”
“Who said you're hopeless?”
That's not Aqua’s voice.
Ruby and Aqua turn to the door, Ai frowns at both of them.
Ai’s eyes soften as she walks towards them. “Let's dance, Ruby.”
Ruby shakes her head. “I can't—I’m—”
“I know.” Ai says softly. “I saw.”
“Oh.”
For an idol’s daughter to be a terrible dancer… so humiliating…!
“But I'm here now.” Ai kneels down and lifts Ruby’s body up.
“Maybe we should've called mama from the start.” Aqua says sheepishly. “Mama is a professional dancer after all.”
“You should’ve.” Ai firmly says, it made Ruby and Aqua feel a little bit guilty. “If both of you need help, I'll be there for you two.”
Aqua grins. “Mama is so cool, right?”
Ruby nods bashfully. “She is.” Ruby looks at their mother “But mama, I'm scared…”
“If you're scared of falling, fall more.” Her hold in Ruby’s arms is steady but gentle. “Be bolder, shoulders back, chest out.”
She sees Aqua sit on the sidelines as Ai teaches Ruby.
Ruby still falls but her movement improves. Mama jokes sometimes to be able to distract Ruby from her dark thoughts. Even Aqua riles her up, making Ruby want to dance more just to be petty.
Then, subconsciously, with how warm her heart and full gratitude to her family, Ruby dances as if there's no tomorrow.
She dances the choreography to one of mama’s concerts years ago.
Ruby remembers the choreography. All of mama’s stylish moves are engraved to her mind.
All of that light… is burned into her retinas.
My light. If I could move like that…
She raises her arms up, twists her wrist, and moves her hips.
If I could move like that… If I had that freedom…
Sarina twirls her body, and kicks her feet, and engages her body for her core. Building some momentum.
Move! Move! Move!
Ruby takes a step, moves backward, and flatters her palms up.
She grins at the mirror with the final step.
Ai and Aqua’s eyes on her, their eyes were wide, and their expression looks gobsmacked.
Then, Ai grins. “That's amazing, Ruby!” She lifts her daughter up. “I didn't know you memorized one of my oldest choreography.”
Of course, Ruby knows very well. She keeps repeating all of Ai’s performance when the hospital is being too claustrophobic for her.
“I know you can do it.” Aqua grins at her, proud of her.
“Yes! I can now dance to one of the school events!”
“You're going to dance at school?” Ai tilts her head.
Oh yeah, they forgot to mention that to their mother.
Aqua nods. “It's for the anniversary. Our class is going to be the one to host a dance.”
“You should come see us, mama!”
Ai smiles at them. “Of course I'll go!”
Notes:
Fun fact: Ruby being ballerina from her past life was inspired from the Oshi no ko ending 2. It's where Ruby keeps doing a mix ballet, the animation sequence is so graceful to look at! And then I remember that Sarina planned to be an ice skater so it makes sense if she did know how to do ballet so here we are!
Chapter 11: Book 1: New life and realizations
Summary:
It's been a week since Gotanda brought him here. He still remembers their conversation as if it's just yesterday.
“How the hell did you know I can sing?”
“Your sister sent me a record of you singing in the shower. She also said being in a musical theater is good for you. I agreed.”
Ruby, that bitch. A lovable bitch but a bitch nonetheless.
Aqua told that to Ruby, and his sister has a gall to laugh it off.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Aqua watch as Gotanda edit a video.
It's the last episode of Youth of Winter.
“Is that the last episode of Youth of Winter?”
“Yep.” Gotanda answers. “So I can't entertain you much today, child prodigy.”
“It's fine.” Aqua sat down on a small chair. “I can just watch.”
“Suit yourself.”
Aqua’s eyes follow all the clips and videos that had been retaken. Then, Gotanda clicks some things and then chooses a scene where the scenery and cinematography is much better captivated.
“Can you teach me that?”
Gotanda glances at Aqua. “Seriously? You want to know how to edit a video?”
“Yes.” It's also helpful for Aqua to learn more behind the scenes.
In the back of Aqua’s mind, he heard a familiar voice that sounded suspiciously like her sister calling and mocking him as a ‘perfectionist.’
“Alright, put your chair closer.”
Aqua listens to all the pointers Gotanda says, and was even able to practice an edit to some certain scenes. Of course, the video Aqua edited is the one that is not necessary anymore for the series. It's just to practice.
He doesn't know why but Aqua is fascinated with learning more behind the scenes. It also improves his acting.
Gotanda also noticed this too.
“Why don't you try going to the theater?”
“Huh?” Aqua gives Gotanda a glance.
The director shrugs. “Last week, you were interested to know more about the shoot, and now you're interested in editing.” Gotanda crosses his arms. “It feels like you're interested in an environment that can enhance your acting.”
Aqua is silent, and that's the answer enough for Gotanda.
“If you really want to try it, I have a certain theatre in mind.”
After a long drawn moment, Aqua nods. “Alright.”
***
Aqua is still understanding the job as an actor.
Whenever he acts, he always utilized his past experience and based it on the scene that was written for him.
Acting is fun.
Aqua ignores the fact he use Gorou’s past experience, as if not letting go of that past yet.
He's doing this job because it's fun to analyze the character he was given and think about the ways to break it down and become his own persona.
“Hoshino?!”
Aqua turns around, only to see Kurata gasping in shock.
“What are you doing in a musical theater?”
Ask the guy who's with me. Aqua glares to where Gotanda stands, a few meters from Aqua, the old man didn't even budge from Aqua's glare as he introduced himself to the woman in front of him.
“I'm visiting here with director Gotanda.” He answers instead.
Kurata nods. “I almost thought you're going to join us, that would've been fun.”
Before Aqua can open his mouth, Gotanda calls out to him. Begrudgingly, he walks over to him.
“This is Aqua Hoshino.” Gotanda introduces him to the beautiful woman. “I have a favor… Can he join the musical theater?”
What? I thought I'm supposed to be watching the theatre not join it-
“Really?” Kurata let out another gasp.
Gotanda nods. “He's good at acting, and also good at singing.”
Hey, where did Gotanda heard Aqua sing? The only one who knows he can sing well is mama and—
Ruby.
Aqua huff. His sister is going to be receiving an earful.
“Although, he still needs some practice with his vocals,” Gotanda continues. “But he has an immense potential.”
Yes, the 4 year old has the potential. Let's wait for puberty though.
The woman scans his face, Aqua tries not to squirm as Kurata bounces in anticipation.
For some reason, Aqua feels uneasy with this theater. If Ruby is here, she would've provided him some information about this place.
Hmm, why does he feel uneasy? Not the bad one, but the weird one where he anticipates getting a headache in the near future.
“I already know how he acts.” The woman grins down at him. “Although I need to teach him first how to sing, my final decision would be decided after that.”
Gotanda gives Aqua a grin. Aqua is almost tempted to mess this up and maybe act like a clown in front of these people, but his pride is stopping his pettiness to fight.
Aqua opens his mouth.
***
The woman’s name is Misaki Kurata. She is the boss of Japan's number one musical theater—The Miko Kaguya theater.
Currently, Aqua is inside the studio and Ms. Kurata is happily teaching Aqua how to sing in a steady rhythm.
“You're really good at this.” Ms. Kurata comments.
“Thank you, Ms. Kurata.” Aqua says. “I try my best.”
“Just Misaki is fine.” The woman scoffs as she shakes her head. “There's two Kurata in the theater so it would be confusing for me and my daughter.”
And Aqua also learns another piece of information about his co-worker Kurata Sana. The woman is Sana's mother.
“Then, you can just call me Aqua.” He sheepishly says. “I have a twin sister so it's better if we are distinguished by our first names too.”
It's been a week since Gotanda brought him here. He still remembers their conversation as if it's just yesterday.
“How the hell did you know I can sing?”
“Your sister sent me a record of you singing in the shower. She also said being in a musical theater is good for you. I agreed.”
Ruby, that bitch. A lovable bitch but a bitch nonetheless.
Aqua told that to Ruby, and his sister has a gall to laugh it off.
“You really have a good lungs, Aqua.” Kurata tells him as she walks inside the room.
“Do I?”
“Normally, it's hard for someone who sings to control their lungs.” She says. “At least for the beginners.”
“I see…”
Misaki smiles. “If you keep this steady development, you'll be a great singer in no time.”
“By the way, mom, we will have a new play, right?” Kurata—Sana asks her mom. “If Aqua is joining for real, he should also focus on how he’ll act.”
“I can act fine so I should focus on my singing.” He says.
Not to brag or anything, but he's decent when it comes to acting. Grab some experience from his past life and apply it to the scene. Easy peasy.
“No, Sana is right.” Misaki firmly tells him. “You use method acting, right?”
Aqua fidget. “Among other things.”
“Then it will be hard for you to enact your supposed character in the play.” The woman’s mouth becomes thin. “You need imagination.”
“Wait, what's my character like?”
“A boy who's close to death but with magical powers.”
Aqua blinks. Alright, that will be hard.
Then, Misaki grins. “I can't wait for the people to show our play.”
“Yes!” Sana exclaims. “There are many animals who will play and rapping that will happen.”
“Fireworks will also occur with a touch of using a wand.”
“And also the mermaids! It's good for Aqua to be there to sing them a song.”
“And then a slap will happen—”
Aqua sweat drops at the two mothers who enthusiastically talk about the play and the script.
This is the reason why he felt uneasy last week to be in this place.
He forgot that the Miko Kaguya theater always performs a random play. A well written but still a random story nonetheless.
***
Aqua enters the living room with a sigh.
“You're back.” Ruby lifts her eyebrow.
“No thanks to you I left in the first place.” He slink on the couch. “Miko Kaguya theater is a weird place.”
“But they are also the top theater in Japan.”
And Aqua wonders how the hell that happened. Knowing they are good vs seeing how Misaki plans for the play has a massive difference in his expectations.
“Don't worry, Aqua. You'll be fine. If you mess up in the play, I'll laugh but mama will comfort you.”
“I feel the love in the air.”
“Tragic.”
He sighs. His sister is so annoying. But he can’t help the fond smile that appears on his face.
Aqua closes his eyes as Ruby continues playing with her violin.
These days, Ruby plays the instrument softly and dynamically, not the screaming banshee play but the one that can make Aqua calm down.
It also made him think if this is how Ruby calms herself. For what? Aqua doesn't know.
“Ruby.”
“Hmm?”
“Do you know what to do in the future?”
Ruby halts.
Aqua opens his eyes, only to see Ruby looking down as she grip her violin. Something shifted in his sister's eyes.
“I still don't know.” She answers.
He shifts on his seat. “Maybe become a musician?”
“Maybe…”
“I'll ask a different question.” Aqua stares at her. “What do you want to do?”
Ruby sits beside him as she frowns. “In my past life, I didn't have many opportunities to do the things I do now. Hell, I didn't know I could be good at violin if I tried but I was unable to do it with reason I can't tell.”
What kind of life did Ruby lived in her past life?
“Then I was reborn.” She continues. “And then I'm good at so many things, and then I love those things. I suddenly don't know what to do.”
“Is it because you don't want to miss out on so many things?”
Ruby’s eyes become wide before a rueful smile appears on her face. “So that's what it is, huh?”
Aqua blinks. “Wow, you have so many things you don't know about.”
She slaps him on the arm.
“Good luck with your play, stupid brother.” Ruby stands up and picks up her violin again. “Just don't forget our school dance.”
“I won't.”
Aqua doesn't know if Ruby did find an answer she was looking for, but as he stares at her and listens to the sound of violin, Ruby looks troubled.
Good luck finding what you want, Ruby.
***
Ai is excited for today.
She keeps bouncing in her seat as Saitou drives them to her children’s school.
To distract herself, she double checked herself in the mirror. She tied her hair up, a hat on her head, and covered her eyes with glasses. Ai also made sure to dress with a simple shirt and sweatpants, an attempt to not be visible as Ai from B-Komachi.
Ai is confident with her disguise.
“We're here.” Saitou announces. Ai grins.
Saitou parked the van, and they went outside.
Going inside the gym, where Aqua and Ruby’s dance will happen, Ai sees numerous parents talking with each other.
It's a bittersweet feeling that Ai can't engage with any of them.
She sees Miyako in the crowd, Ai and Saitou go over to her. Miyako left earlier than they did to escort the children early.
But Ai did not expect Gotanda to be there. The director was also talking with Miyako.
“Sir Gotanda?” Saitou asks once they both sat.
“President Saitou.” The man nods. “I hope I'm not intruding by sitting here.”
“Not at all.” He answers reassuringly.
Then, Gotanda notices Ai herself, or well, the girl who sat beside Saitou.
He observes her for a moment before his eyes widen in surprise. Miyako and Saitou also noticed the reaction.
Busted.
“You're a dedicated family…” The man comments.
Miyako’s face becomes nervous. “Director, if you could please—”
“Don't worry, I won't tell anyone she's here.”
Saitou breathes out easily as Miyako tap her husband on the shoulder in comfort.
Ai sighs in relief. “By the way, director, why are you here?”
Gotanda let out a chuckle. “Aqua mentioned his class is hosting a dance.” He smirks. “That damn kid is not being subtle about wanting me here.”
“Aqua is always such a tsundere.” Ai giggles as Miyako snorts softly.
Saitou nods. “I also can't wait to watch Ruby.”
Although Saitou is not close with Aqua, he's very much close with Ruby considering the fact Ruby is always with him whenever Ai is on the job, and no one can look out for Ruby when Miyako needs to be with Aqua during his film shootings. At the same time, Ruby is happy to be in the strawberry production in order to learn more about the instruments she plays.
They talk for a few moments, but Ai tries to give minimal words because she knows she needs to be careful if some people suddenly recognize her.
Then, kids started to enter the stage.
Ai can't help but coo from how cute Aqua and Ruby are. They are both wearing a rabbit costume.
That's her signature!!
As the class enters the stage and goes to their position, Ruby is trying to search for someone—Ai and the others.
Before Ai could do something like waving back and then drawing attention to herself, Miyako was the one who did the job. She’s fortunate to have Miyako get that covered as the babysitter waves at Ruby. Ai ignores the warning glare from Saitou.
She then notices Ruby smiling widely, cheeks turning red from joy. At the same time, Aqua bites her lip to refrain grinning.
Their eyes meet with her's, Ai can't help but wave at them, but subtly.
It's worth to see her children’s joy
The dance starts.
All the kids start to dance, many people coos at their children. Meanwhile, Ai and Gotanda laughed when they saw Aqua dancing with a bored face but with so much effort.
“That damn prodigy can act but when he dances, he can't even smile?” The director comments in amusement.
“That's Aqua for you.” Miyako shakes her head.
Yeah, that's such an Aqua thing to do. Although she doesn't know if she imagines it, every time they meet each other's eyes, Aqua tries harder.
Ai sees Ruby, who is the one enjoying the stage. Her daughter laughs and gives the audience a smile.
She's glad Ruby can make that face now, Ai still remembers when Ruby thought she can't dance, thus, becoming frustrated while tears of sadness were prickling around her eyes.
Then, the formation starts to be in the pyramid and Ruby is the one who's in the center.
Ruby starts to move.
Ai’s eyes widened. She can't help but be mesmerized at every movement Ruby takes, or every glow she radiates to the audience, or the way Ruby grins on every formation.
“Ai.”
She looks at Miyako who called her name but her eyes are still on the stage—on Ruby.
Saitou chuckles, Ai’s eyes went to him.
“It feels like I'm seeing you, Ai.” Saitou says as his eyes follow Ruby’s movements.
***
They go back home because it's too risky for Ai to stay longer, meanwhile the children stayed at the school for a little bit for class photos.
So Ai waited for Ruby and Aqua to come back home.
Once her children enter the house, Ai rushes to hug both of them. Miyako then said her goodbye and Ai thanked the woman.
“Both of you were amazing out there!”
Aqua and Ruby’s cheeks flush as they grin at one another.
Over dinner, they discuss how ridiculous Aqua’s expression during the dance scene is, but they also think Aqua is really good. At the same time, Ai comments on how good Ruby is when she takes the center stage.
Then, Aqua apologized for not telling them that Gotanda will come to the school dance. To be fair, Aqua honestly didn't expect the director to be there though. Ai suspects Aqua underestimated how much Gotanda cares for him. Overall, it's a good dinner for the family.
When Aqua goes to shower, Ai hugs Ruby.
“I'm so proud of you, Ruby.” She firmly says, but her grip on her daughter is gentle. “You were scared to dance at first but look at you!”
Ai then lets go of Ruby.
Only to momentarily be confused.
Because—
Ruby stares at her as her tears stroll down in her face.
Ai wipes Ruby’s cheeks. “What's the matter, Ruby? Did mama say something bad?”
That comment snaps out from whatever thoughts she was having, Ruby shakes her head from indignation.
She doesn't know what's wrong so she decides to hug Ruby instead.
Ruby hugs back as she cries softly.
“Thank you, mama.” Ruby whispers, and Ai holds her tighter.
***
I'm so proud of you.
Ruby stares at the ceiling.
The soft snores coming from Aqua should've been a calming tune in her mind like how it usually was.
But her mind is in a raging storm.
Ruby closes her eyes.
Sarina opens her eyes.
“When will you come back again, mom?”
“Soon.”
“Where is dad though?”
“He's busy.”
As Sarina’s mom was about to head out, Sarina opened her mouth again.
“You love me, right mom?"
Her mom paused for a few deep moments as Sarina clenched her hands around the hospital’s blanket.
Then, Marina smiles at her daughter. “Of course I love you.”
Sarina smiled back.
She ignored her mom’s dull eyes when she said those words.
Ruby opens her eyes.
What happened in the past doesn't matter anymore.
After all, Ai is her mother now
Trying not to think about it does not help Ruby.
***
“Aren’t you busy, ol—dad?”
“You were about to call me old man, aren't you?” Saitou whispers back as Ruby shrugs.
“Force of habit.”
“Just so you know, I'm still in my 30’s.”
Ruby thinks about doctor Gorou.
“Huh. Maybe you're still young.”
Saitou narrows his eyes in suspicion, feeling the genuine words coming from Ruby's mouth. “That's an abrupt change of mind.”
She awkwardly laughs, then her eyes return to B-Komachi’s choreography. Her mother is still as mesmerizing as always but Ruby starts appreciating the other members. So her attention is currently divided.
“You didn't answer my question, dad.” Ruby asks after a moment. “You're usually busy.”
“I am but I need to watch them sometimes from time to time.”
“Why?”
“Work.”
Alright, Ruby is suspicious but she won't push further.
“By the way, Ruby.” Saitou smiles down at her. “Your dance performance was great.”
Ruby blush from the compliment. “Thank you.”
“It also reminds me of Ai.”
She looks up at Saitou who is already watching the dance again.
Before Ruby can ask again, Saitou stands up from the couch. “Alright, I still have more work to do.”
Ruby blinks. Did… did Saitou just decide to see her because he wants to compliment Ruby?
She smirks. Saitou is such a tsundere.
Like Aqua.
“Wait, dad!” Ruby goes after Saitou. The man blinks at Ruby.
“Uhh… do you want something, Ruby?”
“Can I join you for today?”
Saitou lifts his eyebrow. “Why?”
“I'm interested in what you do.” Ruby beams. “You're like… an expert of the entertainment industry.”
The man winces. “If you're thinking the industry is full of colors and rainbows, think again Ruby.”
This time, Ruby frowns. “Is it not amazing to be here?”
As Sarina, she wished to be reborn as the children of an artist or singer. After all, connections are everything. She knows that more than anyone from the family she had if your mother was a former ice skater.
But she also knows it's a different kind of connection if you're related with someone who has the power to the media.
Saitou sighs. “If you really think that, please forget this conversation.”
Ruby grabs Saitou’s hands before the man can walk away. “Please still teach me though! I still want to know because—"
Mama and Aqua are heavily involved with the entertainment industry after all.
She just gives Saitou puppy eyes.
The man sighs as his shoulder slump.
Hah! It's her win.
“If that's what you want.” He finally says. “But I'm not teaching you anything, just watch what I do at work.”
Ruby tilts her head. “Wait, you sometimes go out of the building.”
“I do.” Saitou smirks. “So you're coming with me if you still want to know the work I do. Last chance to back out, kid.”
She follows after Saitou.
Fortunately, Saitou is able to tell his wife that Ruby decided she wants to go with him. He then sends a message to Ai because Ai is still busy with her work
***
For a whole week, Ruby follows around Saitou whenever the man lets her.
And boy does Ruby start to understand the industry Ai and Aqua lives in.
Everyone can be a liar.
Then, she hears Ai humming from the kitchen as Ruby plays with her koto.
Well, not everyone. Her mama can't be a liar, she's too pure for that.
She still remembers the Ai in the past—a kid like her who was awkward and trying to make a living as an idol and yet… Ai has the purest smile on her face whenever she's on stage.
Ruby stops playing the koto, her eyes drifting to Aqua. The boy’s eyes are closed but she knows he's not sleeping, more like meditating.
Her brother can't also grow up to be a liar.
After all, Sarina hates liars.
“Why did you stop playing?”
Aqua’s eyes are now open, his stare looks imploring.
“And what are you doing?”
Her brother’s frown didn't hide the fact he knows Ruby is avoiding his question, but he eventually shrugs.
“I'm trying to visualize.”
“Huh?” Ruby tilts her head. “For what?”
“For the role I need to play a few months later.”
“You're playing in the theater? Why?”
Aqua gives her a deadpan look. “This is what happens when you convince Gotanda to make me a member in a certain theater.”
Ruby giggles sheepishly. “Anyway, why do you need to visualize? You're a great actor already.”
“Well, my acting technique usually comes from my real life experience.” He sighs. “This is the first time I'm going to act like a supernatural being."
She hums at that. Ruby distinctly remembers from Saitou that actors usually have their own kind of technique when it comes to acting. For Aqua, his method of acting comes from personal experience so now he needs something that didn't come from that.
“Read.” She pauses. “You like reading, right?”
Aqua scoffs, he’s about to open his mouth but Ai suddenly calls out for them.
Later, Ruby finds out Aqua starts obsessively reading numerous novel books.
It shouldn't be surprising considering the fact Aqua does love to read books, especially fictional stories, and Gotanda has many movies and series in his disposal.
Ruby feels vindictive to give good advice, but then—
She feels envious of her twin brother.
***
Ruby looks over at her mother’s computer screen, the number of the Miyazaki hospital staring right through her.
She waits for Gorou Amamiya to answer her call.
Anticipation builds up between her fingers, the thudding in her chest is too loud in her ears and she's trying not to bite her lips.
Whenever Ruby feels lost, she always goes to sensei. The doctor would always be her anchor.
There's many excuses and evidence is building up in her tongue, if sensei asked if Ruby is telling the truth about being Sarina... No lie, only the truth, Ruby will give that to her sensei.
She's ready.
But—
“Amamiya Gorou has been missing for the past years.” The nurse who answered her gently said.
What? Why?
Ruby tries not to fall apart.
***
Ruby waits for Saitou.
Saitou is currently having a meeting with the Stars Agency for Nino and Kyuu’s contract.
After all, those two use acting for their popularity as much as Ai visits many variety shows and radio broadcasts.
“I don't want to do this, mom!”
Ruby snaps her gaze towards the side of the corridor. She then sees a mother clutching her child in desperation.
“Dammit, Jo. You have to do it or else our family will have to suffer because of your incompetence.”
“But I don't even like acting!”
“Then start loving it for the sake of our family!”
Ruby tries not to interfere, or else she'll get Saitou in deep trouble. This building is even owned by Stars Agency, one of the most influential agencies in the industry.
Maybe she made a noise because the mother suddenly sees Ruby eyeing them. That’s where the mother grabs her child’s arms and drags the boy out of Ruby’s sight.
… What the hell?
Isn't the mother’s duty to make money for their children, not the child who seems like Ruby's age.
Her mind went back to when she's a few months old, where Ai is determined to make money for Aqua and Ruby.
Ruby is really glad to have Ai as a mother.
Ai not a liar, and she never will.
“Are you ok, Ruby?”
Her eyes snap toward Saitou who is crouching in her height, his eyes full of concern.
Then, Ruby notices a woman next to her—Arisa Hoshi, The CEO of the Stars Agency.
If she was Aqua, she would've bowed her head from embarrassment—Ruby is right in front of the most influential person she knows after all.
But she is Ruby so she just stared at Arisa.
“Oi, Ruby.” Saitou pats her on the shoulder. “Stop staring, it's rude.”
But the woman just chuckles. “She reminds me of Ai.”
Saitou grimace. “She's not that bad.”
Ruby scowls at the man. “Ai is not rude.”
“Oh my.” Arisa Hoshi smiles down at her. “Someone is a fan.”
The old man chuckles nervously as Ruby tries to keep a poker face for the sake of Ai.
Then, the woman blinks at her. “Huh. You really do remind me of Ai.”
Ruby blinks. “Thank you, Ms.”
Arisa smiles at Ruby again before she looks over at Saitou. “Your kid has potential, and you know it.”
Based on how Saitou’s face twists, he knows what Arisa meant.
Ruby also wants to know.
“I still have a meeting for the next hour.” Arisa says as she starts to walk away from them. “Say hi to Ai for me.”
When Arisa is gone, Saitou stretches his hand out for Ruby, the girl also reaches out to him.
Ruby looks up at Saitou, tightly holding his supposed father. “Are ma— I mean are Ai and Ms. Hoshi close?”
“Not close.” Saitou says. “But they did reach a level of understanding.”
“About what?”
“Acting and industry.”
Ruby hums, she doesn't get it and her curiosity ends there. “By the way dad, I want to buy something.”
***
She comes back home to see Aqua meditating again on the sofa.
Ruby goes to her room, opens her bag and grabs the newly bought ballet shoes.
It's not like Ruby is as dedicated to be a ballerina as Sarina once but—
She hungers for the familiarity.
***
“Mama!” Ruby hugs Ai’s stomach.
Ai smiles down at Ruby. “Yes, Ruby?”
“Nothing.” She giggles. “I just want to have some cuddles.”
“Hm? Ok.”
Her mother starts carding Ruby’s hair through her fingers.
Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it---
***
Ruby starts to watch B-Komachi’s choreography. This time, she's not focusing on Ai.
But with all of the members.
Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it---
***
She then focuses on the other idol groups.
The Internet is a more powerful tool than Ruby ever thought.
Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it---
***
Ruby plays the little guitar Ai bought for her. She's making massive progress.
She hopes Meimei will be proud of her.
“Ruby?” Aqua knocks on their door to bring her attention.
“Hm?”
“What's going on?” He locks the door behind him.
Ruby frowns. “What do you mean?”
“You're barely 6 years old.” Aqua says. “But you've been doing so many things all at once.”
“What do you mean? I'm not even doing my school work.”
“Well, I'll paraphrase my words. You're multitasking the things you like to do.”
“Then get off of my business, Aqua.”
Aqua raises an unimpressed eyebrow of her outburst. “Oh wow, changing the subject, really?”
Ruby almost, almost throws her guitar to Aqua. “Fine.” She bites her lower lip. “Fucking fine.”
He frowns. “No need to be—”
“Do you want to know what my problem is?” Ruby cards her fingers through her hair. “My problem is—My life as I was in the past and my life I have right now keeps fucking clashing. I have multiple things I want to do but I don't want to miss out with so many things. Again.” Ruby rubs her face with her palms. “I keep doing what I'm good at because I want to learn what I really want but what does ‘Ruby’ want? Or what does my past life want?” Ruby slump on Aqua’s bed. “I don't know what to do Aqua.”
And the person she loves is missing—
Or maybe Gorou is fine and Ruby is blowing this out of proportion.
Her brother goes silent, Ruby doesn't blame him because this is unlike her.
Then again, Ruby always bottled up her feelings. But Sarina never exploded.
Maybe because a person who's close to death has nothing left to cause an explosion.
She didn't realize she space off again until Aqua sat right next to her.
Calmly, he spoke. “What do you want now?”
Ruby bristles. “Did you not hear what I just said? I don't even know if I want to be a musician or a ballerina.”
“I mean,” Aqua is still calm as ever. “I want to know what you want now.”
“Now?” Ruby asks in a small voice.
“Yes.”
She hesitates for a moment. It's embarrassing to say it to her brother but also… this is her brother who let her show his weaknesses.
It's time for Ruby to also make a habit of showing her’s.
“I want to be with you and mama.” She swallows. “I also want to understand the industry you both lived in.”
Because it feels lonely to be on my own while you and mama now have a job that you both love.
I don't want to be alone in that fucking hospital ever again.
“Ah.”
What does that ‘ah’ mean specifically? Is it ‘ah’ I don't understand? An ‘ah’ realization? Or ‘ah’ that's it? Or an ‘ah’ I'll pretend I understand thingy?
“Do that.”
“What?” Ruby blinks at him.
“If you really do want to know more about the entertainment industry, then work under the industry..” Aqua shrugs. “You're good at acting, you can be an actress for now.”
“I'm not really into acting as you are.”
“Then go work in an orchestra or something.” Then his eyes widened. “Maybe a theater!”
“Your theater maybe?” Ruby hesitantly asks.
“That can be arranged.” But then he grimaces. “Well, after the ‘Magical boy of isla in a ghost town but in a world of tiger’ performance, you could apply there.”
“I'm sorry but what?”
“That's the name of the play I'm going to act in.”
Ruby tries not to laugh, she really did but—
Her laughter bursts out from her throat. It's such a ridiculous title, she can't believe Aqua will act in it.
Perhaps when days pass by, Ruby is going to tease her brother relentlessly.
“At least that amuse you.” Aqua frowns at her.
“Very” Ruby smirks.
“And if the theater doesn't work out for you, mama and president Saitou has many connections for any career for you to get an access to.”
“Ah, the power of nepotism.”
“Who cares if we're not hurting anyone? Use nepotism if you have to.”
“You can be really scary, Aqua.”
“You're not the first person who told me that.”
Still… even though Aqua doesn't shamelessly use connection—nepotism, it's fine for him as long as he knows he deserves to be in that kind of position.
Her smirk turns to a real smile as she gazes down at Aqua.
“But seriously,” Ruby smiles. “Thank you, Aqua.”
“Anytime.” Aqua smiles back.
Seriously, having a twin brother is a blessing from gods.
“By the way, where is mama?” She questions. “Surely, she would've been worried by now if she heard me shouting.”
“Ah, that.” He scratches his nape. “I convinced her to stay put.”
“... It really amazes me that so many adults put their trust in you.”
“Perks of being an adult.”
“We're both reincarnators, Aqua.”
“Let me reiterate my statement.” He pauses for a moment. “Perks of acting not a clown—I mean a child.”
Ruby places a pillow on Aqua's face for 5 seconds.
***
When Ruby and Aqua step out of their room, Ai is already waiting in the living room.
Once Ai sees them, she hugs Ruby tightly. It made Ruby feel guilty for making Ai worry like this.
Ruby hugs her back, more tight and gentle than she did in their previous hugs.
There's no way mama can be a liar.
She's also the best mother Ruby can ask for.
The Hoshino family watched the latest episode ‘Daylight sun.’ Aqua appears for only 10 seconds as a flashback, yet Ai is happy to see her son.
“After this, you're going to take a break, right?” Ruby asks once they go back to their shared room.
Aqua shakes his head in disappointment. “If only that can be simple.”
“What do you mean?”
“I've been offered to be in a commercial or a model of some sort.”
Ruby snorts. “Good luck with that buddy I hope you mess up.”
“The love of a sibling. I can feel it in the air.”
But they both know Ruby will cheer on him in the sidelines no matter what happens.
Ruby is honestly lucky to have a brother like Aqua.
Hoshino Aquamarine is the best twin brother she can ask for.
***
Sarina still clutches Ruby’s soul.
And there are some things she's not satisfied about—she wants to do ballet or work hard to play so many pieces with her instrument.
But—
Ruby knows how to bottle things up so she’ll be fine.
At least, she hopes so.
And she hopes Amamiya Gorou is just somewhere, Ruby would not lose hope for him. His sensei is strong, after all.
Notes:
Shout out to the Kodocha fans who are reading this chapter! We all know how unhinged the Kurata family are.
Notes about Aqua and Ruby's reincarnation in this fic:
Aqua - He is both Aqua and Goro, but it's hard to mix up their persona when Goro is an adult while Aqua is still a toddler. It's like... Aqua is kinda having identity crisis about these two personas. So as of now, Aqua can sometimes forget his life as Goro Amamiya (and sometimes remember it). This will be explored more as the fic progresses.
Ruby - When she died the first time, she's still a child. So it's not hard to clash Ruby and Sarina's persona together, which means these two persona is too connected unlike Aqua/Goro. This is why Ruby perfectly remembers what happened in her past life.
Chapter 12: Book 1: Aqua's acting
Summary:
Ai knows very well Aqua uses method technique to act like Ai did in the past. Although, it's still a surprise for her that Aqua was easily able to do it when method acting is for people who try to get into character as much study as they could get.
Unless Aqua can method act like Ai, digging some memories from the past to be able to act, which is impossible because Aqua is still a kid.
And now Aqua learns how to visualize which is really useful if the genre you were acting in is a fantasy and supernatural type.
It reminds Ai of her children's father—
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Hirashi tilts his head. “Do I?”
“Yes!” The girl shouts.
“I do have a cute face.” Hirashi giggles as he palms his face. “Maybe genes make me so alive perhaps?”
“Yes, perhaps.”
“Perhaps?” Hirashi gasps. “You need to be sure!”
“Well, you're practically dead!” The girl huffs. “How can ‘alive’ and ‘dead’ be a synonym?”
Thunder strikes as the storm dances around outside the house.
“I never even said they are synonyms?”
“It's synonymous if it's your corpse!”
He huffs. “So I'm a corpse…?” A moderate rhythm song from his throat. “Maybe, I'm a corpse but I'm a cute one!” He grins. “Does that make me not have a right to think I am alive? But people tend to make me think I'm nobody?” Hirashi giggles as he male the lyrics smoth and lively.
The melancholy of raindrops can be heard as it perfectly tunes what’s happening inside the house.
But the girl didn't sing in return, as she just read the song lyrics. “I never said that but…” she flashes a sheepish but sure smile. “You always tend to be a clown.”
“See? I'm a nobody—”
“What are you two doing?”
Aqua and Ruby yelp as they turn to see Ai peeking behind their door.
They both blush under her gaze in embarrassment.
Ai smiles at Aqua. “By the way Aqua, your vocals have improved a lot.”
“Thank you…” The boy murmurs.
She tilts her head. “Is Ruby helping you to perform for the Miko Kaguya theater?”
“Yes.” This time, Ruby answers. “He asked me to help him so as a good sister I am, I lend Aqua a help.”
Aqua rolls his eyes but doesn't deny her statement as a good sister. At the same time, Ai chuckles at her children.
“But why are you not singing?” Ai asks.
This time, it's Aqua who chuckles. “It's a good cause for our eardrums—”
Ruby pinch Aqua in the side, he winces in pain as he glares at her.
So Ruby is not good at singing? That's a surprise. Ai thought. Her daughter loves to watch Ai create an album or loves music in general so it's really a surprise.
“Do you want to help us, mama?” Ruby asks. “You're the best singer after all!”
“Sure!” She beams at them.
Having to spend more time with her children is always a plus for Ai.
“Can you show me your acting, Aqua?”
“Ok.” Aqua nods, he closes his eyes and then Hirashi is the one who opens his eyes.
Hirashi smirks at them, arms wide open. “Welcome to the world of the dead, people who lived are welcome but dead people are not welcome to the world of living.” Then he clutches his head as if in pain before he raises his head in confusion. “Wait, isn't that unfair?”
He starts walking around Ai and Ruby in circles, his head contemplating with decisions.
“Aha!” Hirashi grins. “How about we play a game?”
A lightning strike struck outside of their house, it flash a shadow on Aqua’s face making it menacing.
A moment of silence.
Then, Aqua sighs. “How is that, mama?”
Ruby has a proud grin on her face as she looks up at Ai.
Ai nods in agreement with Ruby’s comment. “Incredible, Aqua!”
“You think so?” Aqua frowns. “It feels like I'm lacking.”
At those words, Ruby sighs in exasperation while Ai stubbornly didn't drop her own expression, not wanting her smile to falter.
It has always been like this. Aqua was never confident with his acting, always thinking he's lacking yet people around him know the truth.
No matter how many times Ruby and Ai assured Aqua he's great at acting, her son never budged.
As Gotanda said, Aqua is a real prodigy.
Ai really hopes Aqua can also see that in the future.
“What's the play about?” Ai questions.
“It's a horror comedy, mama.” Her daughter answers. “A story about characters trying to enter the world of the dead but Hirashi thinks it's unfair for the people who used to be alive to enter their world so he made multiple games.” She grimaces. “To all the ghosts who were able to win, they can enter the world of the dead.”
That… makes no sense. “Is Hirashi a psycho?”
“More like a separate entity from humans.” Aqua grumbles. “He just doesn't understand the environment he’s in, although he tries to put it in pure logic.”
“Really?” Ruby blinks.
“Yeah. The narrative of his character is hilarious yet tragic.”
Ai smiles wide. “It's also amazing for you to understand the character, Aqua!”
Aqua blush. “I have to.” He huffs. “It’s my assignment from Misaki.”
“Ah right.” Ai claps. “What kind of technique are you using, Aqua?”
“Visualizing.” He replies. “I love to read manga and novels so it's easy for me to imagine—”
For some reason, Ai has a feeling the reason is deeper than that but she shakes off that feeling.
After all, Aqua is still a child. It's impossible for her son to experience something as tragic as Ai imagines that an adult could have.
Or having a shitty childhood like Ai had.
Anyway, Kids love stories.
“—And Gotanda lent me some movies to watch.” He continues.
Ai knows very well Aqua uses method technique to act like Ai did in the past. Although, it's still a surprise for her that Aqua was easily able to do it when method acting is for people who try to get into character as much study as they could get.
Unless Aqua can method act like Ai, digging some memories from the past to be able to act, which is impossible because Aqua is still a kid.
And now Aqua learns how to visualize which is really useful if the genre you were acting in is a fantasy and supernatural type.
It reminds Ai of her children's father—
“Mama?”
Ai looks down at Ruby and Aqua, they are glancing at her with concern in their eyes.
“Sorry.” She sheepishly giggles. “I kinda space out there.”
“It's fine, mama.” Ruby grins. “It happens to all of us.”
“Meaning it happens to you all the time.” Aqua murmurs out.
Ruby gives him a glare as Aqua smiles at her innocently.
“Children, please.” Ai sighs but there's a smile on her face.
***
Her usual disguise is in place, Ai hopes no one can recognize her because she really made an effort not to be recognisable.
Ponytail inside the cap, glasses placed in her nose, sweatpants and shirts in place.
It was time for the play.
Sure, Ai always sees Aqua act but that's the family’s episode marathon—it means they watch Aqua act as a family every Saturday night, much to Aqua’s embarrassment.
But this time, it's different.
Ai is going to see Aqua act on stage.
It reminds her of a certain someone.
Like when Aqua and Ruby have a school dance, Aqua’s other three parents are here, consists of; Miyako, Saitou and Gotanda.
Ai snorts at her thoughts. Ruby glances at her in question but Ai just shakes her head in her direction.
Although Ai is kinda bitter Ruby is not in her lap like a mother should have as she was placed in Miyako’s lap.
“Prodigy better has a good performance.” Gotanda mutters. “Or else our effort would be for nought.”
“I think Aqua has this…” Saitou hesitantly says. “I think.”
Miyako playfully slaps an arm at Saitou. “There’s a reason Aqua is called a prodigy by the director.”
Ai nods in agreement. Between the four of them (+Ruby), Saitou is the only one who doesn't know the extent of Aqua’s acting.
Sure, Saitou sometimes watches Aqua perform on TV but there's a difference between seeing a person act in person and seeing them on the screen.
There's also a difference between playing on stage and acting in a series.
Playing on a stage with numerous eyes on you can be nerve wracking, Ai also knows a stage actor needs to let out their emotion as much as possible—being dramatic can be a plus one for a stage director.
“My brother got this, Sai—dad!” Ruby huffs out.
“Alright, alright.” Saitou relents.
Ai smiles when all the lights go on the stage. The play is about to start.
The start of the play is admittedly funny, the script sometimes contains dark humor but sometimes the audience will solemnly become sad for the main characters who died.
Then finally, Aqua appeared.
When Aqua walks toward the main characters, Ai zeroed her eyes on him. Expectant bouncing from chest as the other people next to her watch Aqua.
But… something was off.
She intimately knows stage performances, five seconds of silence from an actor who is about to speak is bad. It's either something bad is already happening backstage as of this moment or…
Ai narrows her eyes on him, observing
Because it's obvious—if you're in a front row seat and really looking—how Aqua is shaking.
Oh no.
It's obvious Aqua is nervous.
Then he pause, the audience waits for him to speak but—
—no words came.
“Shit.” Gotanda mutters softly. Ai is inclined to agree.
“Aqua…” Ruby bites her bottom lip.
At the same time, there's a glint of concern glint in Saitou and Miyako’s eyes.
“Who are you?” A brunette girl gasps out—she’s one of the dead people. Ai knows her as a kid who acted out with Aqua in a drama Aqua was starring in.
But Aqua remained silent, so the girl hops towards him.
“You’re also a kid like me.” She has a sad frown on her face. “Did you die like me?”
That girl… Kurata Sana, was it?
Just like that, the audience becomes solemn.
But the five people who support Aqua in the corner, know this is not part of the script.
The girl is trying to adlib for Aqua’s sake.
“Do you know this place? Because there's others like me who have no idea why we are sent here” The girl shakes her head. “So do you know?”
But Kurata can't cover Aqua forever.
So Ai did something Saitou will be devastated over until the day he dies.
She stands up and shouts; “We also want to know the place!”
“Oi!” Saitou pulls her over as Ruby smirks.
“Yeah! What's the place?!”
Miyako covers Ruby’s mouth. “Ai is such a bad influence.”
Ai sheepishly smiles as Gotanda huffs a smile.
She then looks at her son.
Aqua stares at them with wide eyes.
Ai stares at her son back—We’re here for you.
“Yikes, the bodyguards are ready to take us.” Gotanda chuckles.
And he's right, there's some guards who are already walking towards them. Ai cringe.
Then Aqua—no—Hirashi cackles loudly.
As if the abrupt silence never happened, all of the people froze at his cruel laugh, even the bodyguards who were about to go to them stopped suddenly.
Hirashi stops laughing, then he grins at the girl. “Stupid, stupid girl.”
The girl immediately pulls back, her eyes full of confusion and fear.
Then, Hirashi stands in front of the audience, “Welcome to the world of the dead!”
Just like that, the original script tracks back.
All eyes are on him, even Ai can't take his eyes off her son as she suddenly was reminded of someone else.
It feels like it's Ruby all over again during her school dance.
“Aren't you a kid?” The main character mutters.
Hirashi pouts. “I'm not a kid, you imbecile!”
He stomps his feet as if proving his point, which the point was not proven at all as all the audience laughs.
The girl laughs. “Maybe he's a chuunibyou?”
“He's a kid, he has a phase.”
“Aren't we going to meet the Lord of this place, why is there a kid?”
“Let's get out of here—”
“Shut up!” Hirashi shouts as the background music crackles like thunder.
The characters are all silent as they watch with wide eyes. Hirashi slump in relief.
He clears his throat, glaring at the characters, indicating not to speak again. All of them mimic zipping their mouth.
Ruby and Saitou laugh as Miyako and Gotanda bite their lips to refrain from chuckling.
Hirashi opens his arms wide. “Welcome to the world of the dead, people who lived are welcome but dead people are not welcome to the world of living.” He both introduces the setting to the characters and the audience. Then he clutches his head as if in pain before he raises his head in confusion and excitement. “Wait, isn't that unfair?”
The characters are starting to get uneasy, even Ai also feels that way.
It's really amazing for Aqua to be in this character.
Hirashi’s character is not human but he has a child-like personality that makes people both ease ang uneasy.
Aqua is doing a perfect job for this role.
She noticed all of the audience can't take their eyes away from Aqua, even the bodyguards who were about to take them earlier are now staring expectantly at Aqua. Ai hopes they don't lose their jobs.
Sure, Aqua doesn't have the same charisma as Ruby but Aqua has a different charisma that lets you pull in.
The way he cackles, stomps his feet, staring at the audience—Aqua is using every different variable for the audience not to lose focus on him.
She can't help but see the difference and the similarities Aqua has with his father.
Then, Aqua starts to sing. An image from her head disappeared, replacing an idol figure on the stage.
Ai shivers.
Is this how people see me?
***
“You really went beyond my expectations, prodigy.” Gotanda ruffles Aqua’s hair.
“That's really amazing Aqua!” Miyako pinches Aqua’s cheeks.
“Good work out there.” Saitou says.
Aqua shrugs. “Everyone can do what I did.”
“What?!” Ruby exclaims, she starts shaking Aqua’s shoulders. “Did you look at yourself in the mirror?!”
“Everyday.” He deadpans. “And I see your stupid face in it.”
“You bitch—”
“Ruby!”
“Eep!” Ruby tries to shield herself from Ai, using Aqua as her barrier.
Aqua sniggers.
“We're going to talk about your language later.” Ai firmly says as Ruby nodded.
Ai’s eyes soften when it lands on Aqua. She crouch in front of him, ignoring the other people’s looks, mainly Saitou.
It's a good thing they are in the practice room of Miko Kageya theater.
Before Aqua could speak, Aqua spoke first.
“I'm sorry…” Aqua looks down. “I froze on the stage.”
Oh Aqua.
“Don't worry, that's your first time after all.” Seeing Aqua just looks more down, Ai continues. “If you think your performance looks disappointing, my first performance on stage when I acted in the past is just the same.”
“Your first performance as an actress?”
“Yep! I was such a nervewreck there.” Ai cringes at the memory before she smiles fondly. “Suddenly, a person shouted my name there and it felt like I woke up.”
Aqua giggles softly, Ai smiles at her son’s expression. “Is that why you yelled back in there?”
Ai snorts. “Yep, you got me.” She shrugs. “I thought the yell worked for me so might as well risk it.”
“But you need to be more careful—”
“Nuh uh, if it's you and Ruby I will risk it.” Ai says softly before she hugs Aqua, her son hugs him back. “Just so you know, I'm very proud of you there.”
Aqua clutch Ai tighter as Ai gently rub his back.
“By the way, I want to meet your new friend who helped you back there.” Ai says once she lets go of Aqua.
He winces. “Sana is like Ruby 2.0, I can't let them meet.”
“Well, now I'm more interested.” Ruby intercepts them.
Aqua shivers. Ai laughs at her children’s antics.
Just in time, the Kurama mother-daughter duo comes knocking on the slide door.
For them to give Aqua a time for his family in a private room…. It seems like the Kuratas are fond of Aqua, it makes Ai happy there's a lot of people who care for Aqua.
When they got home, Ai just remembered Gotanda was there to watch her have an exchange with Aqua.
She’s glad Gotanda didn't ask any question and he knows the guy better enough that he won't start any rumors because it's obvious he cares about Aqua.
Maybe Ai should have a talk with him?
***
“I want to join a theater.”
Is the first thing her daughter said to her in the morning.
Ai teasingly grins. “Did Aqua’s performance move you?”
Ruby’s cheek flushes red. But she did not deny Ai’s words.
Well, she can't blame Ruby. After all, Aqua was amazing yesterday.
Speaking of Aqua, she hopes her son will do fine today because this time she can't come to his play. Then there's Ruby who has a class she can't skip today.
Ai is pretty sure Miyako will do all she can to support Aqua though.
“Do you want to be in the same theater as Aqua?”
Ruby nods, her eyes turning expectant.
“But Ruby.” Ai smiles gently at her. “We should fix your vocals first before you get to stage play.”
Her daughter winces. “Ok, mama. Where should I start?”
“Woah, calm down.” Ai pinches her daughter's cute cheeks. “No need to rush or anything. Let's just wait for Aqua’s play to finish, maybe Ms. Kurata will help you.”
Ruby pouts. “Ok.”
***
“Good morning, Ai!”
Every B-Komachi member greets Ai, even Nino and Takamine nod at her.
It makes Ai smile that the others are more open to her than they did a year ago. She's really glad Ari reached out to Ai to help her with the production.
Speaking of, their new album was a hit.
It's an album with a concept of a band—each instrument gets to perfectly suit the song while the others sing and dance. It also helps that they all wore a men's suit there which made their fans intrigued with their music video. The music is a mix of rock and pop.
But there's still a lingering envy and jealousy on the other side. Still, the relationship Ai has with the B-Komachi members didn't deter her.
“How is Ruby?” Takamine asks.
Ai smiles. “She improved a lot the last time you saw her.”
Watanabe whistles. “That kid is really impressive.”
Many nods in agreement.
It's been a month since the other members saw Ruby considering the fact they’ve been busy with the variety shows and shooting.
They did their usual routine. Ai is happy their group is now in sync than before.
But she still sees many comments about the B-Komachi being a background dancer to Ai.
Ai doesn't know what to do about it.
Eventually, they finished practicing and it's time for Ai to go home, she's already walking towards the elevator when suddenly Kyun called her behind.
“Hey, Ai!”
Kyun is making her way towards her. They just finished practicing so Ai wonders what she wants.
“Let's go hang out.” She claps her hands in excitement. “Just us, B komachi.”
Ai gape, eyes shining in brightness. It's been a while since they hang out together
(—since she was 13—)
Her mouth is about to form a yes—
—Aqua and Ruby need their mother. She barely hangs out with her children these days with how busy Ai is—
Ai’s eyes dim.
“Sorry Kyun, but I can't today.” Ai smiles, but it's painful to widen it even more.
If Ai is being honest… this really slumped her down.
After all, Ai wanted to hang out with them as friends again. In the past, they actively don't invite her anymore as long as it's not even public knowledge to post it on social media. For them to do it now…
“I see.” Kyun frowns in disappointment before she smiles again. “Maybe next time?”
“Yeah…”
Is there even a next time if her children are Ai's number 1 priority?
***
“Let’s run away from this trash world
I'll surprise you to enter the fantasy
Because it's going to be our legacy”
As Aqua sings the lyrics, Ruby plays the guitar with a drawl before there's a fast beat about it.
“Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Put your suit on
Jump as high as you can let on
Mind went to free drive from the rooftop
Just to not let it become reality”
Aqua gives the lyrics with a high key tone as Ruby catches up with her brother’s melody.
“This is kinda embarrassing…”
Both twins stop as their faces flush in red seeing Ai enter the living room—apparently already got home.
“So you're doing our ‘The Band' song, huh?”
“Ruby made me do it.”
“What?! You're the one who's eager for it!”
“Now now.” Ai intercepts the bickering. “I actually like it.”
Aqua and Ruby beams at her.
Ruby grins. “We love it mama, and everyone else too! This song is such a hit!”
Ai tilts her head. “You think so? The lyrics kinda made people have an uproar about it.”
It doesn't take a genius to figure out it's about for the people who don't have the will to live in this world anymore.
“It's actually inspiring, mama.” Aqua says. “People who have depression can listen to this and think ‘ah, I'm glad I'm not alone in this world’ like that.”
Ruby nods in agreement. “It's also a massive hit with how catchy the song is so haters can't do anything about it.”
Ai is not surprised at how mature her children can be at this age. They keep showing this side day by day, she's not even going to question it anymore.
“By the way, mama.” Ruby put her guitar carefully on the couch. “Aqua’s play is done so let's talk about it!”
“Talk about what?” Aqua frowns in question.
“I want to be a member of Miko Kaguya theater!”
Aqua blinks at his sister as Ai gives them an easy smile.
“Just don't neglect your education.”
“Yes!” Ruby jumps.
Actually, Ai is surprised to see that Aqua and Ruby always keep up with their studies. Especially Aqua, every time they have an exam or recitation, Aqua gets a perfect score.
“Good luck with that, sis.” Aqua murmurs. “I’m gonna make a call and Gotanda will surely help you with that tomorrow.”
“Why are you saying like you're not coming with me tomorrow?”
Aqua sheepishly scratches his nape. “Actually, I'm going to get busy.”
Ruby and Ai glance at him in curiosity.
“I'm going to audition for a movie.”
They both gasp.
“Woah! What kind of movie?!” Ruby shakes him.
“That's actually great, Aqua!” Ai exclaims.
“I still have to do the audition.”
Ruby puts her hands on her hips. “Don’t worry, you're going to get accepted.”
“What's the role about anyway?” Ai asks.
“The main character.”
Both mother and daughter raise an eyebrow. Aqua never did a main role, then again it's hard to search for one when you're just 6 years old.
But there's Arima Kana. That's a different story.
“It's a heavy movie.” Aqua continues. “But I want to explore my acting.”
“I see.” Ai smiles at him. “I know you'll do great.”
Ruby nods agreement, while Aqua smiles back at Ai.
“What's the movie about by the way?”
Aqua cringes. “Well….”
Ai frowns, she has a bad feeling about this.
“For one, there's many content warnings involved.”
“What do you mean?” Ruby asks curiosity.
Aqua ducks his head. “Just ask the president.”
Subconsciously, Ai’s shoulder eases some tension she didn't know was there. If her child is in Saitou's right hands to appear in a particular film or television show, she knows she can rely on Saitou to protect Aqua.
“So… I'm really going to get busy.” Aqua shrugs. “Speaking of, I need to review my script.”
Just like that, Aqua is gone to his room but Ai suspects he just wants to get out of the conversation.
“Very subtle, Aqua.” Ruby murmurs out as she shakes her head.
Ai’s eyes went to the guitar that was placed on the couch. “Ah right Ruby, how did you come up with the chords of ‘The Band' song?”
“Google!” Ruby grins. “Many people covered the B-Komachi song, so many people are already enthusiastic to know about the chords too!”
She pats her daughter’s head. “That's really amazing.”
And amazing indeed. Ruby already learned the chords this fast considering it's been a month since the release of their song.
Ruby is a genius at using instruments.
“If I didn't know any better, you'll be happier to learn more instruments considering the fact you're practically glued with the three instruments you have.” Ai let out a chuckle at the thought.
But Ruby is suspiciously silent.
“Wait, you're really interested?”
Ruby’s face becomes red but she nods nonetheless.
Ai crouches in front of her daughter. “Ruby, if you want to join the Miko theater, what position do you want there?”
She was so focused watching Aqua during his play that Ai failed to notice Ruby gain another interest.
“I still want to improve my vocals, mama!” Ruby abruptly says. “But I’m also interested in learning more instruments.”
“Such as?”
“Piano and drums perhaps?” She says with a small voice.
Ah, Ruby got that from their new album. Ai is sure of that.
Ai fixes her daughter’s bangs. “Sometimes Ruby, it feels like you want to learn everything so fast as if you're going to die at any moment.”
Ruby flinches as if Ai’s hands burned her.
“Wait, you're not going to die are you?” Ai stares at Ruby in wide eyes, before Ai cringes. “Or maybe my wording disturbs you this much?"
Sometimes, Ai always forgets Ruby is a child and Ai cannot use ‘die’ so easily right in front of a kid.
Ai shakes those thoughts off as she gives her daughter a small smile in apology. “I'm sorry.”
Ruby shakes her head. “It's fine, mama.” She then leaps forward to hug Ai.
Ai hugs her back. “Whatever you want in the theater world, you have my full support.”
“Thank you, mama.”
***
“About Aqua’s success…”
“A success, you say.” Saitou wryly told Ai. “That kid has many endorsement offers yet he asked me to deny them all, can you believe that?”
“He did say he's preparing for a movie…” Ai trails off.
“A tough one.”
“Is it really a controversial movie?”
Saitou winces. “It's a movie to spread awareness.” He then gives Ai the copy of Aqua’s script for the audition.
Ai reads it carefully, not wanting to miss anything. She steadily calms her heartbeat down.
It's about a victim of sexual abuse.
“This is kinda risky…”
“It's a perfect movie for Arima Kana, that's for sure.” Saitou sighs. “But the director wants her main character to be a boy.”
“Why?”
“To show not only girls can be affected, but all genders, she says.”
“Does it even matter if it's happening to a child?” Ai bites her bottom lip. “Maybe if their main character is a teenager and adult, it will send a message…”
Shit, what she said hits too close to home despite not experiencing this.
Because someone close to her already experienced this.
“I also thought so too, but…” Saitou swallows. “There's a rumor it's a real life story.”
Ai grimaces. That… that's a different story.
If it's a real life story, then the director will not be stopped until it's been adapted. They would want people to learn more about this particular story to send the message.
The president clears his throat. “As you said, it's risky. She needs a child who is a genius like Arima Kana to be able to act this character.”
“Aqua can do it.” She says in full confidence, without any doubt.
“I hope so.” Saitou murmurs. “By the way, your children are really peculiar, don't you know that?”
Ai laughs. “I'm their mother, of course I know.”
They keep giving each other small talks until someone knocks on the office’s door.
“Come in.” Saitou loudly says.
When the door opens, Gotanda Taishi enters the room.
***
“What are you doing?”
“Training.”
Ruby raises an eyebrow as Aqua scrolls through his phone, reading—
“Is that a fanfic?!” She gasps. “You read those?!”
Aqua didn't blush or shout from embarrassment, he only merely raised a brow at Ruby.
“Yes, and?”
Wow, her brother doesn't have any shame. Normally, most people would've been embarrassed by now.
Then again, he was an otaku in his past life considering the fact his bias is Ai and loves to read mangas and watch anime.
“Why read those things?” Ruby asks.
“Contrary to popular belief, some of the fanfic authors write more believable stories than some novel authors did.” Aqua dryly smiles. “Then again, those authors use fanfiction as coping mechanisms."
Ruby hums. “Were you a fanfic writer?”
Aqua grins proudly. “Of course.”
“You know, some people think it's weird to read or write fanfic.”
“Sister, my dearest, do you really think I care what other people think when it comes to something I like?” Aqua pauses for a moment. “Maybe I do, I'm an actor now after all.”
And isn't that troublesome to do when judgmental eyes follow everywhere?
“Anyway, what are you reading about?”
“How trauma affects you as a person.” Aqua then grimaces. “Although I already witnessed something like this from my past occupation, I still need a lot more research.”
“Then just search it through the internet.”
Her brother gives Ruby a deadpan look. Alright, that's fair. She knows very well how her brother can be. That boy is perfect through and through, so he already searched for this particular topic on the internet."
Still…
“You're really making an effort to improve your acting.” Ruby then pinches Aqua’s face, the boy yelps away. “I'm glad you now have something you are passionate about.”
Aqua looks away from her. “It's also thanks to you that I found something I like.”
Ruby grins.
She tackles her brother to the floor. “Aw, so you do appreciate your twin sister!”
“Unfortunately. Now get off me!”
Notes:
Writing this chapter, it also sadden me to see the B-Komachi finally accepted Ai, only for Ai to refuse because she is a mother now. I think every single mother can relate, especially balancing your work + child + social life.
Chapter 13: Book 1: Kuroyama
Summary:
Aqua looks at Gotanda, skeptical. “Really?”
“Yes.” He reaffirms. “From a kid like you, you really have the talent.”
Those words bring Aqua more down. Honestly, if people know he's an adult inside a child’s body, no one will consider him a prodigy.
Gotanda sighs in exasperation. “You really need to know how amazing you can be Aqua. Hell, you were brilliant during the play.”
“I froze at the opening.”
Notes:
I know I'm shit when it comes to my grammar but you can guys let me know in the comments if I misspelled a word or something (altho it will take a week before I fixed it because I'm so lazy-)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Ruby, at the tender age of six, was a force to be reckoned with on the dance floor. Her tiny feet twirl across the smooth wooden surface with a grace and precision that belied her years. Every leap, and every turn was executed with a level of precision and control that would have been impressive in a professional ballerina, let alone a child.
To watch her dance was to be captivated, to be caught up in the beauty and passion of her movements. Despite her young age, Ruby was a shining star in the world of ballet.
Ruby's small frame was a blur of motion as she executed a series of perfectly executed turns, each one faster and more precise than the last. Her hair, tied up in a neat bun, swirled around her head like a crown of golden light, while her tiny feet seemed to barely touch the ground as she glided across the floor.
Ai watches in a mesmerizing way. Right next to her, Miyako also watches.
Does Ruby want to become a ballerina? If so, Ruby will really go to some places.
“Did someone teach Ruby ballet?” Ai questions to the woman next to her.
Miyako nervously laughs. “Maybe? You know them, your children are geniuses.”
For some reason, Ai thinks Miyako is covering up for the children but she brushes that thought off. After all, she trusts the person who became a second mother to Aqua and Ruby.
For Ruby to go to the other end of the house just to do a ballet… why though?
***
“You're doing good, Aqua.”
Aqua looks at Gotanda, skeptical. “Really?”
“Yes.” He reaffirms. “From a kid like you, you really have the talent.”
Those words bring Aqua more down. Honestly, if people know he's an adult inside a child’s body, no one will consider him a prodigy.
Gotanda sighs in exasperation. “You really need to know how amazing you can be Aqua. Hell, you were brilliant during the play.”
“I froze at the opening.”
“Then what about the after?”
“Aqua was amazing after he unfreeze himself.” This time, the voice is neither from Aqua nor Gotanda.
They both glance at Ruby who shakes her head in Aqua’s direction.
Aqua frowns. “I still don't know why you're here.”
“I'm here because I want to improve my acting.”
“You're already amazing enough.”
“Definitely not.” Ruby quickly denies.
“I'm with your sister here, Aqua.” The director intercepts between the twins. “Sure, she has the raw talent but her acting is more mechanical like a puppet.”
Ruby feels like she's been stabbed by the director’s words despite the fact obviously agreeing with him. At the same time, Aqua frowns disapprovingly at Gotanda.
“What I meant to say,” Gotanda starts to elaborate. “Acting is a form by studying the character and giving the life of it’s own. Ruby, you know how Aqua acts.”
“I know and it's amazing.” She breathes out.
Gotanda nods in agreement. “That's how you need to act, not just read it and proceed to act and not understand why the character needs to act what the script says.”
Ruby mulls about what the director says.
“As for you, Aqua. You're already bringing the character to life, what more do you want?”
Aqua stands up straighter. “Tell me what I'm lacking.”
Gotanda stares at him for a long moment, even Ruby squirms from where she stands.
“Truthfully, you're not lacking anything—
“But—”
“I think this is more than acting the character, it's about what you can do to improve your acting.”
Aqua stills.
Gotanda raises an eyebrow. “This is the reason why you want to audition, right?”
He sighs. “Yes, that's right.”
The director hums. “Alright, let's look at it from a different angle.” Then the man glances at Ruby. “Ruby, study your acting and go back to me again.”
“Yes, director.”
“And Aqua.” The director smirks. “If you want to know what you find yourself lacking, search Arima Kana on google.”
“Huh? Why?” Why does he need to search Arima? Sure, she's a genius actress but—
“Maybe you can find what you're looking for in her.” The director shrugs. “After all, she's one of the national top actresses in the country even though she's just a child.”
Aqua frowns. He still doesn't get it but if this is the director’s suggestion, then Aqua trusts him in this.
Gotanda sighs as he smiles at Aqua and Ruby. He ruffled both of their heads.
“Don't worry, you're Ai’s children, I'm sure both of you will be fine.”
The twins snap their heads towards Gotanda with shock.
The director blinks at them. “Did Ai not tell you?”
“Tell what?!” Ruby demands as she fumes.
“That I already knew.”
Aqua calms his beating heart as he thinks about the man’s words. “Knowing mama, I think she forgot about it.”
Ruby blink. “Is this why Miyako, as our babysitter, is not here?”
“Welcome to the family, director.” Aqua snorts. “You're going to be one of our babysitters.”
“I think I already joined in a few years ago.” He mutters. “Since your first acting career, actually.”
“That makes Miyako’s job easier for the following days.” Ruby beams.
“Meanwhile your schedule is full of training here and then to the theater to train your vocals.” Aqua drily says to his sister.
“For the children who are supposed to be in school.” Gotanda interjects again. “Both of you are awfully busy.”
Agree. Aqua used to love not working and just eating and sleep, but at this age, he's surprisingly working himself hard.
Then again, Aqua loves being an actor unlike being a doctor.
“Well, I like trying new things.” Ruby declares.
“And she calls me perfectionist…” Aqua mumbles.
“What was that?!”
“I said… you're a hypocrite for calling me a hypocrite.”
“Me? A hypocrite? Look at the mirror.” Ruby puffs her cheeks.
“An old joke to tell me I'm ugly, get another term.”
“You want a term? Then I'll call you son of a bitch.”
Aqua frowns at this. “Are you calling our mother a bitch?”
“Bold of you to assume the one I'm calling a bitch is our mother.” Ruby reiterates.
If she's calling their father a bitch… Well, Aqua cannot refute that.
Based on how smug Ruby looks, she very well knew Aqua cannot refute any of that.
“Both of you know your father?” Gotanda speaks at last.
“No.” Aqua curtly replies.
“The fact he's not here and never bothered to contact mama tells us enough.” Ruby smiles but her eyes have a dangerous glint on it.
“Oi, calm down.” Aqua wacks her head. “The man is just asking.”
Gotanda waves his hand in dismissal of the matter. “As you can see, I also have no father around so I understand.”
Aqua did notice that, he hopes Ruby does too. Aqua always trained his acting in Gotanda’s house—or well, the director’s mother’s house—so he did make a speculation.
Before the twins can say anything, Gotanda speaks first. “Your bickering is quite entertaining as Miyako said.”
“So that's why you're not intervening earlier…” Aqua mutters wryly.
“Why would I when you two are perfect entertainers to watch?”
Ruby looks proud of that—for some reason.
***
Aqua watches Arima Kana’s latest movie that becomes a hit.
He is captivated by her.
Before he knows it, Aqua watches every movie, series or advertisement about her.
Gotanda is right, it did help Aqua to watch Arima Kana.
The way Arima Kana captures every essence of her character and herself is dazzling.
He's watching the sun.
***
Aqua holds Miyako’s hands tighter as they approach the building.
“Why can't Mama and Ruby come too?” Aqua asks, voice trembling a little.
Normally, Aqua never lets anyone see this vulnerable side as much as he can. He's a grown man for fuck sake—despite Ruby raises an eyebrow at this statement—So Aqua handles himself maturely.
But right now, he feels so small. It feels like Aqua is gonna mess up all his hardwork in this particular audition.
They both enter the building, but before Aqua can go to the room where he assumes other children are waiting for their turn to show their own talent, Miyako pulls him aside.
Aqua blinks in confusion as Miyako crouches down in front of him.
“Ai and Ruby are busy, I think you already know that.” She pats him gently, making Aqua blush because he knows very well Ai preparing for his concert while Ruby is with Gotanda.
“I know, I'm sorry…”
“That's not what I mean. I should be the one saying sorry.” She looks sheepish as she apologizes. “I also want to apologize for the fact I sometimes forget you're just a child.”
Aqua frowns. He is not just a child. But he can't tell Miyako that.
“Listen, Aqua.” Miyako continues. “Whatever happens during the audition, you did the best you could do.” She smiles gently at him. “If you fail, another movie or series will come, and you'll be able to use all your hard work there.” She brushes Aqua’s hair, fixing it. “If you pass, nothing changes, but you can utilize your hardwork much earlier, being in this movie.”
“So it doesn't matter if I fail or pass?”
“Not to me, or Ai or Ruby, even my husband and also Gotanda.” Miyako stands up and stretches out her hands to him. “Because you did amazing with all the practice and hard work we saw for a month.”
Well, that makes Aqua feel better.
In this life, not as Goro but as Aqua, there's no expectations from the elder, no siblings feeling envy, and no house that is full of pressure.
Just a family who will support Aqua through and through.
Aqua smiles at the thought.
He accepts Miyako’s hands. “Alright.”
From the way Aqua squeezes Miyako’s hands, he hopes he conveyed her gratitude.
Miyako smiles at him, and Aqua understands it did convey his feelings.
When they walk inside the room, Aqua sees children sitting on the chairs while the parents talk with one another or some of them prefer to not interact.
“You're from that amazing play, right?”
Aqua glances at the source of that voice—the boy looks a year or two older than Aqua, he has blue hair and a charming smile.
“Maybe.” Aqua shrugs. “Depends what play you're talking about, honestly.”
But the kid just grins and looks at him sheepish. “I forgot which play but you were one of the members of Miko Kaguya theater, right?”
Wow… this boy is trying hard to socialize with Aqua despite the fact this guy doesn't really know about him.
Still… It's not the first time someone immediately knows who Aqua is, hell, people recognize him from the 2 dramas he starred in.
“My name is Cayenne.” The kid reached his hands out. “If you still don't know me yet.”
Hmm, the name is familiar.
“Hoshino Aqua.” He accepts his hand as the boy smiles at him.
“Ah so you're really Aquamarine—I can't believe you're here!” The boy’s eyes sparkle. “You were really good acting like the demon during the play! Like… so good!”
Ah, so Cayenne figured out what play Aqua was in.
“Thanks.” Aqua awkwardly says.
“So this is your next job if you get accepted, huh?” Cayenne ponders. “It's going to be a tough battle if we're going to be opponents.”
“The words tough battle and opponents shouldn't have been in the same sentence if we're just auditioning…” Aqua says with sweat drops.
Cayenne sheepishly smiles but his smile doesn't dim.
Aqua blinks.
“Wait, are you from the Jewelpet production?”
The boy grins. “I am!”
Holy cow—Then, it's indeed a tough battle to fight when Cayenne fucking Nojima from Jewelpet production is here to also audition.
In the acting industry, one of the most popular agencies are Jewelpet and Stars.
If he's going to lose based on talent, Aqua might lose in terms of connections.
After this, Aqua should go to Gotanda and request his help to find a new role to star in.
“How about you? What agency are you in?” Cayenne asks in curiosity.
“Strawberry production.” He mindlessly answers as his mind went into a tirade of his next move after presumably failing this audition.
“WHAT?!”
Aqua flinches from Cayenne’s voice as everyone does in the room.
Once Cayenne realizes how loud his voice was, he immediately bow to everyone and apologize for causing disruption.
Geez, that surprised Aqua. And from the looks Miyako is giving him on the other side of the room, she is ready to intervene between Aqua and Cayenne to whatever causes Cayenne’s shout.
“I'm sorry..” Cayenne sheepishly says.
Aqua waves his hands nervously. “It's fine.” He looks around and sighs in relief when he sees everyone is not looking at them anymore.
“It's just…” As if it's possible, Cayenne’s eyes sparkled even more. “You’re in the same agency as Ai from B-Komachi?!”
Ah right. Aqua did have that kind of connection.
Aqua nods in confirmation.
“That's amazing…” Cayenne says in awe. “Strawberry production is amazing…”
He sometimes forgot his own mother is massively popular. Hell, Aqua sees english comments on some social media being crazy about Ai.
Wow, how the hell did Aqua forgot his own mother is an idol?
Aqua frowns at the thought.
Him? A die hard fan of Ai forgets Ai being an idol? Such a travesty. He should not let Ruby know this.
“By the way Aqua…” Cayenne starts.
The two of them converse in small talks, from his peripheral vision, Miyako slumps in relief.
Then, Aqua is being called.
“That's me then.” Aqua stands up.
Cayenne smiles at him. “Good luck, Aqua.”
“Likewise.”
Aqua glances at Miyako, the woman smiles at him and walks over behind him.
It's a relief they are allowed to have a guardian during the audition.
Then again, they are children, so guardians or parents are needed.
When entering the room, Aqua feels the pressure in the room drops.
Shit, this is nerve wracking…
But thankfully, one of the people who sits there smiles at him.
“Hello, Aqua.” The woman says she seems to be in the mid 40’s. “I’m Natalie Katagiri, I'm the main director of this movie.” She then gestures to the other two male who sit beside her. “And this is Tekito Derekida and Sumiji Kuroyama.”
The other person—Sumiji Kuroyama looks young. The young person merely bows his head while Tekito just smiles at him but Aqua feels a little intimidated with that smile.
“Can you show us what you can do for us, Aqua?” Tekito cheerfully says.
Damn, his cheerful persona doesn't bode well with how intimidating those words can be.
Aqua breathes in and out.
He knows he can't be Arima Kana. An actress the people can't look away from, an actress who is very talented at a young age, an actress who has a large aura, an actress Aqua can't beat.
But Aqua is still Aqua, so he’ll create an aura that demands attention, that people never look away from.
Aqua’s eyes glow as he starts to act.
***
Kuroyama Sumiji decides to do this project for Natalie Katagiri.
Well, he can't do anything about it when that woman asks a favor, so Kuroyama decides he’ll be one of the producers.
After that, Kuroyama will go back to Hollywood. He just came back here to Japan for vacation, honestly.
So here he is now, waiting for the right child to become a main character. In his perspective though, it's just damn brats trying to act.
Kuroyama sighs. During his stay in Japan, he was inspired to do a movie, so right now he's too picky to choose an actor and actress. He is trying not to be judgemental though.
He honestly wants to pick a star, not an amateur considering the fact the adult actors that will be chosen in this movie will be the big ones. Well, there's a reason editing can be a powerful tool so it might look like the child’s acting can measure up with the adult’s.
Also he's bored.
Kuroyama nods to the next child and their guardian enters the room, as he tries to stop his yawn.
Katagiri starts the introduction and Tekito wants the audition to start now.
The kid looks nervous, understandably so.
He looks down at the kid’s resume, his eyes narrowing.
Oh? He came from Ai’s agency? What a coincidence, he hopes he doesn't meet Ai though. Wait, when did this agency start to produce actors?
Kuroyama props his elbow on the table and watches.
Aqua opens his eyes.
The kid’s eyes start to tremble, he keeps darting his eyes from one place to another, he keeps biting his lips trying not to cry.
“Mom, dad, where are you? Come back here please.” The kid wrapped his arms around his body. “I promise I'll be good, just please come back…”
Fuck, that kid can act.
He sees how Aqua’s body is starting to sweat, the way he balances his body to act in a realistic manner, and his words start to choke him yet the tone in his voice is loud and clear.
The man's eyes went to Katagiri and Tekito who froze in shock. They did expect a child who has decent acting but can work in the movie, not a star like Arima Kana.
Aqua then places his hands on his hair. “Please I'm not going out anymore, I just want mom and dad. They are not mad at me, right?” Then he starts to grab his scalp with a crazed look in his eyes as his steps back away. “No, no, no, this is all my fault, of course they won't come back because what happened to me is my fault! My fault, my fault, my fault—”
“Cut!”
All eyes on him as the words were spoken by him.
There's silence around the room as Aqua starts to cooldown and the other judges glance at him in disbelief for cutting Aqua.
“Did… uhh…” Aqua clears his throat. “Did I do something wrong?”
No you did not. Actually, it's the other way around. What the hell.
“No but—” Kuroyama glanced down at Aqua's paper. What the hell, he's only 6 years old.
Kuroyama glances at the other directors. There's an understanding glint from both of them.
Katagiri gently smiles at Aqua, and the kid starts to relax. But he did glance at the other woman in the room, and Kuroyama assumes that's his mother.
He almost forgot her.
“Come here, Aqua.” Katagiri says as Aqua darts towards her. “Can you perform this script for me?”
Aqua received a script—his eyes widened, understanding he needed to do a cold reading.
“Alright.” He nodded, his feet went to his mother. The two spoke in hush voices, then Aqua started to read and study the script.
“That was phenomenal acting…” Tekito says with awe.
Katagiri nods. “That kid is going places, that's for sure.”
“Aren't you excited to have him in the movie?” Kuroyama grins at Katagiri
“What makes you think I'll choose him?”
“It's pretty obvious, actually.”
“Not as obvious as you who looks like a kid who got an early christmas present.”
Well, he can't counter that. Kuroyama glances at the child actor and at his mother. Kuroyama’s eyes goes back to Katagiri and Tekito.
He can definitely see Hoshino Aquamarine’s future.
Kuroyama grins. It's decided.
“Katagiri.” He calls out as the attention turns to him. “I'll make sure this movie is successful.”
The other two blinks. Then Katagiri chuckles. “So you become motivated if an actor has that kind of talent, huh?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs, no need to deny that fact.
There's also another reason but he won't tell any of them what.
Before the other two can comment, Aqua pads his way to them.
“I'm done.” He announces.
Aqua gives the script to them, the three of them raise their eyebrows at this.
“You can use the script while acting, Aqua.” Tekito says.
“I can do that?” The kid looks surprised before he blinks at them. “Oh yeah, I can do that.”
On the other side of the room, the woman shakes her head in exasperation.
Then, Aqua shrugs. “I don't need the script, I already memorize my lines.”
What.
Even the other two people besides Kuroyama stare at the kid in disbelief.
Aren't you 6 years old? Kuroyama wants to ask.
Then, Aqua prepares himself.
A few moments later, Aqua starts to act.
Kuroyama grins.
This kid will become a monster in the future.
A future where he will grab Hoshino Aquamarine for Kuroyama’s dream movie.
Notes:
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my favourite character in Act Age, Kuroyama Sumiji!
So just a warning, the next chapter would skip a few months later (so Aqua is done filming the movie by that time... I really need to work out the pacing of this story kcajiohd;qd;)
Chapter 14: Book 1: More scope
Summary:
“Kuroyama Sumiji.”
Ai stills, but she immediately forces herself to smile naturally.
Unfortunately for his mama, Aqua noticed.
“Do you know her mama?” Aqua narrows his eyes. Is Kuroyama dangerous?
Ai grimace. “I do know him…”
Chapter Text
A few months later…
“Aqua!”
He was suddenly being hugged by a teary eyed Cayenne.
Sometimes, Aqua forgot the children around him are… well… children. Not like reincarnated babies.
Even though Cayenne is one year older than Aqua, the blue-haired kid is still a child.
“Don't cry.” Aqua pats him softly. “It's not like we're not going to meet again.”
“Really?” Cayenne let's Aqua go, choosing to give him puppy eyes.
Aqua sighs. “Do you have a paper and pen here?”
Cayenne blinks before he goes to the staff close to him to borrow a paper. Around the two children, people are saying their goodbyes.
Loid and Irina said their goodbyes to him first and the other cast followed.
“Here.” Cayenne gives Aqua a pen and paper.
Aqua quickly wrote his mobile phone number.
“That's my number.” Aqua says as he gives it to Cayenne.
At the same time, Cayenne’s eyes sparkled. “Thank you, Aqua!”
They talked a bit and decided to eat in Cayenne’s favourite restaurant when they went back to Tokyo. Aqua won't admit he's a bit fond of the kid.
In the back of his mind, Ai and Ruby suddenly whisper that Aqua just needed a friend.
“You're not sad?”
Aqua raises an eyebrow as he glances up at Kuroyama.
“I should be the one asking you that.” Aqua mutters. “You're the one who's leaving Japan.”
“Not before I requested a favour to let you star in a series—Congratulations, Aqua, you're going to be a main character!”
“... I was not informed about this.”
“So you're saying, after this, you won't ask Gotanda if there's any series available to act on.”
Aqua is quiet in this. This producer has a point, after all.
Kuroyama smirks. “And I think you'll see the other actors here again.”
He squints his eyes at Kuroyama. “What are you planning exactly?”
“You'll know when you have to.”
From the past few months they both work together, Aqua knows if there's something in Kuroyama’s mind, it will be impossible to change his mind.
“Oh by the way, the director might give you a long talk later?”
“Why?” He snaps his eyes to Kuroyama. “You don't think I fumbled my acting so badly, did I?”
Kuroyama snorts. “It's the opposite, kid. You should really stop downgrading your acting.”
“Then why a long talk?”
“A long talk and a vague conversation about the movie. “ Kuroyama reaffirms.
“But why?”
“Why do you think a director wants to talk to you about this movie, especially if said movie will surely have controversies despite the cast we have in here?”
Aqua blinks, he puts a hand on his chin, and thinks.
There's a rumour going around that this movie is based on a true story. But nothing was confirmed so it just became baseless rumours.
But if it's real…?
“Will she give me some sort of gratitude or something?”
“Right on the money, kid.” Then Kuroyama’s eyes soften. “Yes, she definitely will.”
“If this movie was based on—”
“Kid, if the whole world knows a certain story from a book is based on a real life story, what will the world do?”
“... Search for real life events thoroughly?”
“Yep.”
“But people will still speculate.” Aqua points out the obvious. “People will find out eventually.”
Kuroyama wryly smiles. “Don't worry, nothing will be found.”
Aqua blinks in confusion before the truth sinks in.
The ending of this movie was tragic because the criminal’s trial ended up with one year in jail.
It’s a cruel ending, especially when the criminal gets out of jail and the family decides to move out of town.
Then, would it be better if the movie was known as real rather than fictional? Wait, even if it's denied the truth, people will still speculate, and people will know about…
Ah.
“Speculators will find out this kind of justice was normalised.” Aqua points out as he enunciates the word of justice like a joke. “Many will start to criticise the law again—no—numerous people will join in criticising the law.”
“Yep, the director decided to say this movie was inspired by the articles she found on the internet.”
A safe turn, Aqua supposes.
***
Later that day, director Natalie did come over to talk to Aqua.
The words are full of gratitude while she talks vaguely about some scene Natalie was amazed at. At the same time, Aqua talks about his insecurity that he did not deliver much about the certain scene—Aqua’s mental breakdown in front of his parents—Natalie was anticipating.
“Nonsense! You were amazing at every scene, especially during the mental breakdown scene.” Natalie smiled down at him. “I couldn't imagine an actor who can do that better than what you did.”
Aqua was surprised at that moment, the only thing he can do is nod in appreciation.
“I hope this movie will be successful…” The woman muttered.
It is then that Aqua discovers the depth of gratitude a director will always have for their performer if the said performer delivered the director's expectations.
Aqua replies to Natalie he also hopes the movie becomes successful.
***
“Welcome home, Aqua!”
He was suddenly hugged by Ruby and Ai when he was able to get back home with the help of Miyako.
Throughout the shooting, Miyako wasn't always there to be able to babysit Aqua because she also has Ruby to worry about and a job to do under the company.
So Ai decided, she borrowed one of her bodyguards and staff who always worked under the B-Komachi with the permission from the president.
Saitou immediately agrees and decides who will be the person that can babysit Aqua—under the guise he wants someone to look out for his child.
That was concluded smoothly after that because a group was assigned to the task but only one person should come each day.
Aqua hugs his family back. “I’m home.”
It's been three months and half since Aqua had gotten home—that was his birthday.
Ai even put her foot down to tell Saitou that it's not a negotiation if she wants to go home on her children's birthday.
Nevertheless, Ruby was happy to welcome Aqua and Ai.
“So how is it?” Ruby asks. “Do you think your movie will be a hit?”
“It better be.” He mutters as he sits comfortably on the couch. “Or else a certain producer will throw a fit.”
“Oh?” Ai tilts her head. “Who?”
“Kuroyama Sumiji.”
Ai stills, but she immediately forces herself to smile naturally.
Unfortunately for his mama, Aqua noticed.
“Do you know her mama?” Aqua narrows his eyes. Is Kuroyama dangerous?
Ai grimace. “I do know him…”
Ruby frowns. “So who is he, mama? Is he a bad guy?”
“Oh no! He's definitely a good person.” Ai scratches her cheeks a little. “We have some… uhhh…. History.”
Aqua’s brain starts to kick into gear.
What history? Were they friends or…
“Mama, is Kuroyama your ex?”
It's definitely a possibility considering the fact Kuroyama is one year older than Ai and with some vague history on there...
Ai’s eyes widen as Ruby gasps to his words.
His mama did not deny it.
She even looks sheepish.
Huh.
Huh.
“Is he our dad?!” Ruby suddenly exclaims.
“Oi!” Aqua scowls at her. Ruby, don't you dare jinx it!
Sure, he knows Kuroyama’s hair is black while Aqua and Ruby have blonde hair. But as a previous doctor, he knows it's still possible to have the grandparents’ genes—
Ai begins to laugh.
It's so uncontrollable but bright, any fans would want to pay to see Ai’s laugh. No holding back for the cameras, just Ai being herself.
When Ai calms down, she starts to talk. “Kuroyama is not your father.” She smiles mischievously. “But it would be nice to see his reaction if he ever got a girl pregnant.”
Well… that's good. Really good.
Wait, if Ai teasingly thinks of a way how Kuroyama would be horrified at the notion of having a child, are Ai and Kuroyama friends?
It's possible to be friends with your ex. As Gorou, he’s still in contact with some of his exes before he died…
Or was he?
Shit, his memories are becoming fuggy again.
Thankfully, Ruby is here, so she asks what Aqua wants to question. “Mama, are both of you friends?”
At that, Ai grimaced. “Maybe? We kinda have a fallout after a certain incident so we don't talk much anymore.” Ai gives her children a small smile, but it feels like that smile wasn't supposed to be pointing at them. “But I still care about him.”
Aqua is now curious more than ever.
After that, the family moves to another subject such as Ruby’s acting and singing improved a lot more since he saw her. She even got a play to star in the theatre. There's also the fact that B-Komachi's career is sailing smoothly and from what Aqua gathers, the relationship in that idol group significantly became a lot better.
When they finished those kinds of talks, they decided to have lunch. Ai starts to cook their meal, and that's when Ruby pulls Aqua side.
“Hey, you better know more about that Kuroyama guy.” She firmly told Aqua. “I can't believe mama has an ex.”
“We have a father.”
“Well, I thought our father is the only ex she has.”
“True.”
“So you better investigate that Kuroyama guy if he hurt mama in the past or something.” She shakes her head. “Maybe he knows about our real father? It's obvious our father is in showbiz after all.”
Aqua frowns. “I don't think it even matters if I should investigate when Kuroyama will be leaving this month.”
Ruby blinks. “Seriously?”
“Yep.”
“At least he's not our father, right?”
“You really want to know about our father, huh?”
“I mean, I'm not the only one, am I?” Ruby curiously questions.
“I don't know, Ruby.” He sighs. “There's a reason our father is not here in our lives so I think it's best to not know more of mama’s relationship in the past, especially our father.”
“But—”
“Do both of you want to know your father?”
The twins flinch from the familiar voice behind them, they turn around to face Ai, but Ai’s smiles gently at them.
“If you want to know your father,” she continues. “We can do that.”
Ruby and Aqua share a look.
They both know the curiosity of their father’s identity was born out of wanting to know their Idol's dating life, not having a desire to bond with their biological idol.
Well, at first, that is.
“Personally, I'm not interested.” Aqua says, it was a surprise how true that was.
Maybe as Gorou, he’ll be more curious to know how his bias was able to date someone because Gorou has a perception of Ai being only single before the pregnancy.
But now? Gorou is far out of reach from Aqua. He’s starting to realise being a son outweighs more than being Ai’s fan.
Ai was surprised with Aqua’s response but she swiftly moved on to his twin sister. “How about you Ruby?”
Ruby frowns. “I'm not interested mama.” She then leaps to Ai in a hug. “You are more than enough for me.”
Aqua nods at this.
Ai smiles at them sadly before she pulls Aqua to their hug.
Her smile was sad, Aqua noticed.
And full of guilt and regret.
***
“I'm worried for mama…” Ruby says once the day ends, they are about to go to their respective bunk beds.
“Why?”
“Because she keeps turning down offers to hang out with the other B-Komachi.”
Aqua stills. “Seriously?”
“Yeah…”
Fuck, it feels like Aqua is being a burden again. Not only that Goro made Ai wait during the time of labour because Goro was killed by someone, he's being a burden again to Ai again as a son who holds Ai back.
It reminds Aqua of Kyoka—the character he previously played years ago. A little brother who felt burdened by his sister’s sacrifices.
“It will be fine.” Aqua decides to tackle on. “Ai will accept one of their offers eventually.”
“I hope so.” She murmurs out. “Mama deserves better.”
“She does.”
A moment of silence as they go to their own bed, Ruby climbing up and Aqua shifting around his bed.
“By the way, Aqua.” Ruby abruptly changes the subject. “We have a test next week but the teacher said you can have—”
For some reason, Aqua doesn't care about what’s happening in the school.
Hell, Aqua doesn't think about the fact his grades might be slipping which is a first in almost four decades.
All Aqua can think about is the new drama Kuroyama will decide for him, then the Ai situation.
Aqua never wants to feel like a burden to his family.
Gorou Amamiya has that kind of issue when it comes to his sister.
***
“Detective Conan…?” Aqua blinks.
“Yep!” Kuroyama happily smiles. “You have an aura who is mature in his age so detective Conan it is!”
Well… Aqua is the perfect one who can do this, with him being a literal adult trap in a child’s body.
“It's a perfect fit for Aqua.” Saitou murmurs.
“Do we have a deal then?” Kuroyama asks.
Aqua raises an eyebrow. “For someone who's about to leave the country, you sure have the production team’s contract.”
“It's a perk of having senpais who were always fond of me.”
Hmm, having a relationship with other people whether it's platonic or romantic is always useful, Aqua can give Kuroyama that.
“So a stand-in, huh?” Aqua thoughtfully says.
“Well, Aqua?” Saitou turns to him. “What do you want? Do you want to do this?”
Aqua blinks. “Eh?”
“At the end of the day, you're still the one who's going to play this role,” The president shrugs at this. “So it's your call if you want to do this or not.”
It's surprising to see this side of president Saitou. Sure, he cares but Aqua also knows he put the company in his top priority.
The production team will consist of more money and a lot of popular actors and actresses if Aqua agrees to this.
So for Saitou to give Aqua a chance to deny this offer is huge.
And maybe Saitou is also worried for Aqua—he’s a child after all.
It's nice to think that—even if they pretend to be biologically son and father to the public eye—it feels like Aqua has a good father who can guide him.
“I'll do it.” Aqua firmly agrees.
Kuroyama grins and Saitou nods.
When Kuroyama left, Aqua did the role and the drama became successful.
***
Later that night, Ai was home earlier than expected.
So Aqua and Ruby grabbed this chance and requested to sleep in the same bed as their mother.
Ai is in the middle of the bed while Aqua takes the left side while Ruby takes the right side.
“We miss you mama.” Ruby whispers.
“I also miss both of you.” Ai kisses both of their foreheads. “Should I tell a story to make both of you lull you into sleep?”
Aqua shakes his head. “Sing us a lullaby, please.”
“Alright, mama will sing until both of you fall asleep.”
So Ai keeps singing to make sure her children sleep peacefully, she won't close her eyes until Aqua and Ruby sleep peacefully.
Then, two years passed.
Notes:
Lol I'm trying to rush the pacing here sdihooMO[38ry
Chapter 15: Book 1: Nine years old
Summary:
Ruby expected this.
“Are you Aqua Hoshino’s sibling?”
“Are you going to be an actor too?”
“Can I have your brother’s autograph?”
“Conan is so cool!”
“Your brother is so pretty!”
Her nose scrunches in disgust at the last one. Objectively, Aqua is pretty but sometimes Ruby doesn't see how her own brother can beat some other pretty child actors.
Maybe because Ruby already saw how Aqua can be ugly sometimes so the charm disappeared on her? Oh well.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Appreciation for the Detective Conan live action and for Hoshino Aqua
I never thought there would be a day that a live action anime/manga can be as successful as Detective Conan. Best cinematography, cameras, production, and casting, especially Hoshino Aquamarine is such a gem to have as Conan.
I honestly never thought much of this live action when the first episode of Detective Conan was released, it's so funny to think I'm here waiting for season 3.
And also, can we just talk about Hoshino Aqua again? Such a versatile actor for someone who's so young since the movie ‘Dawn of the child’s ending.’ He and Arima Kana will be so good if they ever share in a same drama or movie.
↟ 9.8k ↡ 💬 Reply
Maybe_Oerhaps123
Hoshino Aqua is sure something. He's born to be Conan!!
↟ 2.5k ↡ 💬 Reply
No_Tjank_you
I'm so happy to be in this timeline where I can see someone act as Conan
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
I_dont/care_478
To have my childhood healed by being blessed with a perfect adaptation is everything. I hope season 3 will be as amazing as the previous season, especially since this will be the last season.
↟ 2k ↡ 💬 Reply
Jason_the_Third303
Man if they fucked up the last season, I’ll go to Japan and hunt the producers and directors and writers
↟ 976 ↡ 💬 Reply
Shuttingup_lmao456
Let me go with you I'll help
↟ 732 ↡ 💬 Reply
Super_fan_890
Hoshino is surely going to places. I can't wait to see his other works in the future. Dawn of the child’s ending traumatized me.
↟ 2.3k ↡ 💬 Reply
Detective_Conan_Fan
Is Dawn of the child good?
↟ 545 ↡ 💬 Reply
Super_fan_890
If you can survive the trigger warnings, I highly recommend this movie. There's a reason it won an Oscar, Hoshino nailed his character there.
↟ 812 ↡ 💬 Reply
***
Ruby’s 4th grade year is going to start today.
“Excited?” Aqua asks.
“Yes!” Ruby enthusiastically shouts, while Aqua stares at her weirdly.
Sue her if she's happy to go to school, her past life is full of crap when Sarina stops going out at the age of 10 years old.
She's 9 years old now but she can't wait to hit the age of 10, a fulfilling happy life to hit and still be able to go outside.
The only school lessons she received is from the tutors Sarina’s father assigned when it's clear it will take a while for her to go to school again until those tutors do not visit anymore.
Fortunately, doctor Gotanda patiently teaches Sarina—not giving up on Sarina until the end.
“It's good that someone is happy.” Aqua sighs. “Because I'm not.
“Said the guy who tried to be a perfectionist at school years ago.” Ruby mutters.
“Yeah, that was years ago.” He drawls. “I don't do that anymore.”
Indeed, Aqua stops trying to score every perfect point on written and physical exams, he’s not even raising his arms anymore whenever the teacher asked a question.
Aqua is even sleeping during those lessons!
The first time it happened, it was 2 years ago. Ruby was so shocked, her mouth was falling until school ended.
And even if the teacher can't excuse anymore of Aqua’s behavior during class with the fact he doesn't have any shooting anymore for the month based from what Miyako told the staff, a teacher called Aqua to answer a math question, and Aqua—who slept like a log and just woke up—answered it and went back to sleep when he hit his chair.
Ruby feels like she was dreaming at that time.
Also, she feels proud for Aqua to not be so hard on himself when it comes to school.
“Aqua, Ruby.”
They both turn to see Ai happily walking to them, while Miyako is on her side.
She then hugs both Aqua and Ruby.
“I'm so proud of you two.” Ai smiles. “It feels like just yesterday, I'm giving birth but now look at both of you.”
“Before mama knew it, I'm going to be as beautiful as mama when I'm at her age.” Ruby declares.
“Is that so?” Ai mischievously smiles at that. “I'll still be more beautiful though.”
Aqua snorts. “Another type of competition with both of you…”
Ai pats Aqua. “Are you jealous of our looks, Aqua?”
Ruby punches him lightly. “He definitely is.”
“We all share genes, just a reminder.”
“Hey! Let's get you a family picture!” Miyako suddenly interrupts, as she holds up a camera.
Ai squeals. “Alright! Use my phone after this though.”
“Sure.”
The family takes a picture.
***
Ruby expected this.
“Are you Aqua Hoshino’s sibling?”
“Are you going to be an actor too?”
“Can I have your brother’s autograph?”
“Conan is so cool!”
“Your brother is so pretty!”
Her nose scrunches in disgust at the last one. Objectively, Aqua is pretty but sometimes Ruby doesn't see how her own brother can beat some other pretty child actors.
Maybe because Ruby already saw how Aqua can be ugly sometimes so the charm disappeared on her? Oh well.
Thankfully, they are not classmates this year so Ruby is not stuck with Aqua.
Unfortunately, this leads to many classmates who want to learn any crumbs about Hoshino Aqua.
This is the life of ‘Hoshino Aqua’s twin sibling’
It sucks.
It made Ruby not want to be part of the major characters in Miko Kaguya theater whenever a play is going to be created. Although, if it's absolutely necessary, she still plays a major role but not much anymore.
Because too many people compare Ruby to Aqua.
Especially when Aqua sometimes goes to the theater and wants to act there again despite his already heavy schedule.
(—Her friend Kurata Sana is insisting her at the moment to play as a main character but Ruby is still thinking about it—)
***
Fortunately, Aqua’s classmates stop pestering him during break time. Aqua sighs in relief.
He already gave them a respective answer to their questions but denied the hangout offers.
Aqua hopes they are not too mad with his attitude, Aqua just honestly wants peace and quiet.
His classmates are now busy talking with each other or playing on their cell phones.
Back in his day—as much as Aqua can remember his life as Gorou—any kind of gadgets or toys were not allowed.
Come to think of it, did phones were created during his time as kid Gorou?
These kids has their phone now because they are rich and technologies are improving.
Anyway, Kids are now allowed to have their phones or toys in school.
“That’s Ai, right?” One of his classmates says, cell phone in hand, Aqua perks up at this. “Many people started hating her.”
“What's the problem of Ai?” Another classmate frowns. “Her songs are so catchy so I don't get how people hate her.”
“Mom said it's because of how she dressed last year in her music videos and concerts.” The classmate replies with a shrug.
Ah, the controversies surrounding B-Komachi.
Aqua still remembers people's judgment about the B-komachi’s outfit during the music video. The song is so catchy and upbeat which is easy to follow, while the lyrics are about the ups and downs of life but enjoying the beauty in life which is inspiring to Ai’s audience.
But the B-Komachi’s outfit in both video and concert is too revealing in Japan’s taste, but Aqua thought there's nothing wrong with it. All of them have boots on, but the shorts they wore expose too much skin and they wore a button up tie front blouse which is too revealing of their chest.
To fight the backlash, Ai decided she’ll film what's going on behind the scenes for people to know more about the B-Komachi. To forget the controversies and to appreciate the idol group even more. It worked but half of the masses are still criticizing the B-Komachi.
Honestly, the Japan would have criticized B-Komachi with no end—
—If it weren't for the fact the album was a global hit.
It actually paved more ways for foreigners to see more jpop songs which introduced more jpop groups.
Aqua wryly smiles. Ai was the one who decided with the outfits and the main producer of the song. Ai and the reluctant Saitou made a big gamble.
Lately, it's been really hard to get inside of Ai’s head.
***
On some days, Aqua likes to hangout at Gotanda’s place.
So the director is always the one to pick him up from the penthouse.
There's a stop light, the car slowly pause on the road.
While Aqua sits on the backseat, there's something that catches his eyes from the window.
Young women who were in college—based on the ID they wore and Gotanda’s vehicle right in front of the campus—are laughing together while they read something on their phone, clutching their books together.
He thinks about Ai again.
Then the vehicles start to move.
***
“Oi prodigy.”
“Hmm?” Aqua looks up from the shelves of DVDs to glance at Gotanda.
“I want you in my movie.”
Aqua slowly blinks, Gotanda blinks.
“What movie?”
Gotanda grins. “Do you know about the vengeance from the deaths?”
“A popular Japanese novel.” Aqua nods. “From what I heard, the adaptation was a success.”
An action and supernatural genre that was set in Japan. People started to have awakened powers and some deaths were revived, including the female protagonist.
“Then what about the spin off?”
“I also heard a spin off book, about the fan favorite character’s story which is also a great success—wait.” Aqua narrows his eyes to the director. “I'm doing the spin off, am I?”
“The company assigned me to be the director in this,” Gotanda sighs at this. “They have the rights with the Vengeance from the deaths so they pick one of their employees. So I decided to choose you as my main character.”
Aqua winces. “That is going to be tough.”
“Right?” The director grins. “Acting with two different characters will be difficult but if it's you, I think you can do it.”
“You have a lot of faith in me.”
“So you're actually agreeing to this?”
“I thought we already established that.” Aqua dryly says. “Although I won't turn down an offer to be in one of your works again.”
Gotanda snorts and starts messing with Aqua’s hair.
Damn, it will be tough to act as two characters in the same movie—identical twins.
***
Someone sat beside Aqua.
Aqua didn't look up as he continued reading the Vengeance from the deaths.
“You're quite busy.”
“I'm always busy.”
“Nah, normally you would be laughing at someone’s misfortune.”
Aqua glances up, and raises a brow at Mai Sakurajima—the Haibara from the detective Conan.
She's also one of Aqua’s friends who does not take any bullshit.
“Wow, I didn't know you had quite an opinion of me.” He dryly remarks.
“I’ll fix my statement—Normally, you would be judging and laughing at someone’s misfortune during our photoshoot whenever you're bored.” She shrugs.
Spot on.
Also, Ruby is rubbing off on me.
Aqua sighs. “I'm getting another role.”
“Congratulations.” Mai looks shocked but she smiles, happy for him. “When?”
“After our last season shooting.”
“That soon, huh?”
“Yep,” Aqua glances down at the book. “I found out last year I can't calm down unless I get another job offer.”
“You're speaking like an adult.”
Technically, I am.
“But it's really admirable.” Mai breathes out. “Hopping in one place to another for something you love.”
“Do you not like being an actress?”
“That's not what I meant,” She softly says as she looks at him. “I like acting but you love being an actor, the level of dedication you have is admirable.”
Aqua gives her a small smile. “There's something about dedicating yourself to a job you love.” He looks away. “It's addicting.”
Gorou would've loved to be in Aqua’s place, that's for sure.
Mai snorts. “I hope I can have your motivation one day.”
“Mai.”
Both of them flinch at the sound of Mai’s mother. In Aqua’s opinion, her mother always ruins the mood whenever she's around with her daughter
The fact that Mai's mother is her manager… She's too controlling of her daughter.
“Yes?” Mai stands up.
“Your photoshoot is done for today.” She says with a clip tone. “We better go home.”
Mai nods, albeit unhappy.
“Bye, Aqua.”
Aqua waves back to Mai, as her mother just gives her a brief nod.
Fortunately, her mother approves to continue being friends with Aqua.
Then again, there's so many benefits of being friends with one of the top child actors in the country.
“Aqua.”
Aqua smiles at Miyako and Ruby. “Just in time.”
“Were you bored waiting for us?” Ruby asks.
“Not this time.”
It's fortunate it's the weekends and no assignment was summoned, in Ruby's words.
They both talk to one another about their day. Aqua sometimes does a promotional video whether it's Detective Conan or for the products Aqua made a contract with. This time, they were doing a teaser for Detective Conan season 3.
Meanwhile, Ruby hangs out with the B-Komachi, it's the perks of having them a teacher in some particular instruments. Then, she sometimes goes to Saitou and asks questions about the company in which the president indulges her.
“But Aqua…”
“Hmm?”
They are both in the backseat of the van as Miyako drives, Ruby is clearly hesitating for something but Aqua encourages her that she can say whatever is on her mind.
“The B-Komachi invited mama again,” She bit her lip anxiously. “And mama denied it again because she says she needs to do something tonight.”
“But mama just wants to be with us.” Aqua concludes.
“Yeah…”
Aqua hates the fact Ai keeps sacrificing her youth for them.
This time, he’ll talk with her later.
***
After they all finish their dinner, Aqua moves his chair right in front of the sink.
Ai blinks. “Is there something you want, Aqua?”
He nods. “I promised to you, right?”
“About?”
“When I grow up big, I'll help you wash the dishes.”
“Oh!” Ai smiles at the memory. “You did say that, did you?”
At the corner of Aqua’s eyes, he saw Ruby hiding in the corner where Ai can't see her. But Aqua has this handle so he makes a shoo motion, she needs to leave or else Ai will catch her eavesdropping.
Reluctantly, Ruby left. But not without sticking a tongue out at him.
So childish.
“You don't have to, Aqua.”
But Aqua is already climbing the chair, and successfully stands up hastenly. “I want to mama.”
Ai sighs but there's a fond smile on her face. “Alright.”
Aqua dutily wash the dishes with an expert of someone who has done this in the past as Goro lived alone albeit the memory was blurry. And then Aqua learned it by watching Miyako or Ai doing this particular chore sometimes.
“I didn't even have to teach you Aqua.” She happily exclaims.
“I learn by watching you do it mama.”
She hums at that. “That's true.”
There's comfortable silence between them as their roles switch. Aqua is doing the dishes while Ai is watching him.
“Mama.”
“Yes?”
“You can accept their invitation, you know.” He felt Ai flinching at that. “Me and Ruby are fine to be left alone for a few hours.”
And they both know they can't burden Miyako with this when the poor woman is already doing her work in the company, and fetching both children in different places left and right.
“I'm sorry Aqua but I can't do that.”
With how firmly she said those words, Aqua abruptly turns his head to her.
Ai still has a smile on her face, that fond smile she always uses whenever her children are on the receiving end.
Eyes softening, and smiling wistfully.
It also makes Aqua ache so badly.
So Aqua’s mouth moved on its own.
“Did you ever regret us?” He slowly asks. “If we weren't here, you would've been out—”
“Aqua.”
Aqua stills when he sees Ai has a frown on her face.
It feels like being Kyouka again from years ago, the one he played as the young sibling of the female lead who sacrificed everything for her only brother.
Ai put her hands on Aqua’s shoulder, steady yet with so much care.
“Listen carefully, alright?” Ai slowly says. “I will never ever regret giving birth to you and Ruby, because you and Ruby are the greatest gifts I ever have.”
At that moment, Aqua figured Ai would choose her children over and over again. Nothing will change her mind. If years ago, Ai didn't changed her mind about this, she still wouldn't even this time.
It's clear Ai was about to say more but she hesitated, so she just hugged Aqua next.
It doesn't matter to Aqua when the only thing he can feel is the abrupt tears that's trailing down his cheeks.
It's as if these tears belong to both Aqua and Gorou.
***
“You're here, huh?”
Aqua blinks at the person in front of him.
The man has white lab coats, his face is blurred and it's clear he has glasses.
Is that…
“Are you me?”
The doctor smirks. “I also asked the same thing to myself.”
“Did you find an answer?” Aqua tilts his head.
“Not yet,” Gorou sighs. “You and I are different entities living inside in one body, and yet you have my skills and emotions living through you.”
Aqua nervously shifts around. Wait, why is he nervous around this guy?
Gorou was about to open his mouth again—
—Then Aqua abruptly wakes up.
This is not the first time this has happened.
But this is the first time they talked.
***
“Even after all these years, the black hair is kinda weird for me.” Cayenne says as he touches his wig but does not mess up the people's hardworks who put that in his head.
Aqua smirks wryly. “I thought the same thing.”
“I'm just glad the editing made it's magic.” Mai remarks.
“Yeah” Cayenne agrees. “I didn't know Mitsuhiko suits me until I saw myself on the screen.”
Mai is about to say something but her mother abruptly pulls her arms to drag her away from the two kids.
“Mai.” The girl’s mother calls out. “Come here for a second.”
It's not the first time the two boys see Mai’s mother planning to reprimand her daughter for acting not lady-like and so on.
Aqua scoffs. “Her mother is scolding her for reasons that weren't even there in the first place..”
“I hate the fact we can't do anything about it…” Cayenne says sadly.
Even the staff from Mai and her mother’s vicinity tries to get away from them or tries not to look at them. It's in Japanese culture to mind their own business but…
There's some gossip online about Mai’s family life but Mai’s mother tries to dissuade those rumors with a good PR.
“Well, we can just lessen the blow.” Aqua replies as he starts to dart forward in Mai's direction.
Cayenne frowns. “What do you mean—”
He didn't answer his friend as Aqua left him there for a moment.
“Hi, Ms. Sakurajima.” Aqua greets the mother with a smile. “Can I borrow Mai for a second? There's a scene I want to rehearse.”
Mai’s mother frowns but she still nods her head nonetheless. Everyone knows how serious Aqua gets when it comes to acting.
Aqua grabs Mai’s hands and walks away from there.
“Thank you, Aqua.” Mai says once they are with Cayenne. “You're always saving me from public humiliation.”
“Not technically safe…” Aqua trails off as his eyes darts to some staff in the room who pretends they didn't just hear Mai was being scolded.
Cayenne gives him a sheepish smile. “You know what she meant, Aqua.”
Yeah. Aqua always have an excuse whenever Ms. Sakurajima keeps scolding Mai without a proper reason.
That's the worst type of parents children can have, the people who blame their own kids.
“Open your script.” Aqua says. “Then pretend we're reviewing it.”
The other two children what they were told, but not without subtly looking at Mai’s mother in Cayenne's case.
“I really hate this.” Mai mumbles but loud enough for her two friends. “She wants me to be perfect at everything.”
“She keeps demanding and demanding.” Cayenne says with a wince.
“Do you know why I even became an actress?” Mai lets out a frustrated sigh. “Yes, she wants a perfect daughter but she also wants to spite my father who has another daughter from his new family.”
“Seriously?” Aqua questions incredulously, while Cayenne blinks in disbelief. At least Gorou’s family was more reasonable than Mai’s mother.
“Seriously.” Mai stated. “My stepsister’s mother even encouraged her own daughter to join the troupe just to get back at my mother.”
Cayenne and Aqua stare at Mai with so much disbelief and shock.
“I just wish…” She continues. “That someday, my mother will see me as only her daughter, not the perfect one.”
And isn't that something Aqua knows too well—no—Gorou knows this too well.
After all, Gorou lived in a life where branches of the family competed with one another.
“Not gonna lie, your family is fucked up.”
Aqua and Mai’s head swiftly look at him in shock.
Cayenne sheepishly goes back to his script.
This boy—Cayenne—the unofficial soft boy in their age group just used curse words.
Even Aqua wants to clap at that.
“You swore.” Mai breathes out but not before pretending to read the script.
“I did.” He softly admitted. “I'm sorry.”
“No, it's fine.” Mai snorts. “It's kinda funny actually.”
“Just not use it in front of the adults. “ Aqua shivers as he starts to imagine it. “That would be a nightmare.”
The other two nods grimly.
***
Ruby wants to let out a sigh the third time when she sees another billboard with Aqua’s face on it.
Miyako, of course, saw her reaction, chuckles.
“His face is so annoying…” Ruby muses. “So punchable.”
“No need to get violent with your brother, Ruby.”
Ruby smirks. “It would not be the first time if I did get violent towards him.”
This time, it's Miyako who sighs in exasperation, Ruby giggles at that.
“By the way, Ruby.” Miyako steers the wheel. “How are your drum lessons?”
“Getting better.” She answers with a grin. “I'm actually the unofficial top of my class.”
“Unofficial?” The older woman was confused for a moment before there's a second of clarity. “I forgot you don't have any rankings.”
“Yes!” Ruby exclaims. “I can't wait to get it perfectly.”
For the past two years, Ruby decided to also learn how to play both drums and piano. Whenever Aqua and mama are not home, her instruments are her only company.
She's giddy at the thought of mastering another instrument.
“It's really amazing,” Miyako comments with a smile. “You're a genius when it comes to instruments.”
Ruby preens at the praise.
“Wait a moment,” Miyako’s eyes are still on the road but there's confusion in her eyes. “What about the Miko Kaguya theater? You're getting more busy with both piano and drums classes, not to mention you're with Saitou sometimes.”
She stills at the mention of the theater for a second.
“I think I’ll join there from time to time but…” Ruby sighs. “I'm getting sick of being compared with Aqua.”
Miyako grimaces. “Did you ever want to be an actor before?”
“I don't know.” She admits honestly. “Maybe I did? But not as much as Aqua is passionate about it, that's for sure.”
The older woman takes a glance at her. “If I'm being honest Ruby, you have the talent for it.”
“Everyone says that.” She murmurs. “Even Aqua.”
“You also have a talent for singing.”
And Ruby does. After months of practicing for months, her area of expertise lies with high notes, Aqua told her it makes sense Ruby can do a high note considering the fact she was a loud and dramatic baby years ago.
It makes Ruby cringe to remember all her shenanigans as a baby.
“I know I have a talent for singing.” Her hands clench, “I have many many talents, after all.”
There's a silence around them, it makes Ruby uncomfortable, as if she was being seen through.
“Ruby,” Miyako says after a long drawn pause. “Are you ok?”
“I'm fine.” Ruby tells her unhesitantly. “Why wouldn't I be? I have a lucky life after all.”
***
“So why are you here?” The disgruntled Gotanda Taishi asks.
Ruby hums as her index finger roves through the dvd shelves, “I wanna let you know how much I improved my acting.”
Despite how Ruby has mixed feelings when it comes to acting, she still can't help but let it show to the people who matter to her.
For the past years, showing off her capabilities to the people around her never disappeared.
“Can you just go any other day?”
“It's not like you're busy and your mother let me through.” She glances over to Taishi. “But why are you so miserable?”
Taishi's hair is unruly, looks spaced out, red rimmed, and smells stinky as if he doesn't have time to shower yet. Taishi's mother looks worried when she lets Ruby in.
The old man groaned but did not reply to Ruby.
So Ruby continues without a single thought. “If I didn't know any better, you broke up with your girlfriend or something.”
She laughs at how ridiculous that statement is but the ongoing silence on the other side of the room abruptly stops her amusement.
Don't tell me…
In the corner of the room, Taishi looked like he was about to cry.
“Seriously?”
Taichi sniffs, “She said she can't be with someone who is too busy.”
“But you were love struck for her!” Not to mention you bought a family car for her and you were about to buy a ring for her.
“She said we are not working out.”
Ruby made a face at that. It's either a miscommunication on both sides or she's cheating on Taishi.
Either way…
“Alright, stand up.” Ruby’s little arms tries to pull Taishi's arms upwards. “You need a shower for this, you stink.”
“No” He adamantly says, “I don't wanna move.”
Ruby gives him a deadpan look. “Do you want to try me?”
Arima Kana might be the best child actor to cry for a few seconds but Hoshino Ruby knows how to throw a tantrum since she was born. Baby Ruby always cries to annoy people or if anyone gets in her way, Aqua can attest to that more than anyone else.
And she knows that Taishi also knows about that fact, after all he saw Ruby’s tantrums growing up.
Taishi sighs and stands up.
Good.
While Taishi is in the bathroom, Ruby looks over to the DVDs on the shelves. Right now, Ruby is interested in some family drama.
Miko Kaguya theater has a new play about it and well—Ruby is the main character there.
At first, Ruby doesn't want the role but Sana keeps insisting on it because it can be a perfect opportunity for Ruby, and Ms. Kurata also wants Ruby to agree because in her opinion it's such a waste of potential for Ruby not to star in a role.
Minutes tick by, and Taishi is fortunately finished taking a shower.
“Are you having trouble with your play?” Taishi questions as he brushes his hair. “I thought you're not going to do some major role?”
“How did you know I was going to play as the main character?” Ruby pouts.
“I've become a popular director, moreso than 2 years ago.” He shrugs. “People want my connection, and you know how much gossip goes around the industry.”
“And what did they say about me?”
Taishi is unable to answer that.
One look at Taishi’s hesitating face, Ruby knows.
Is Hoshino Ruby going to become an actor like his brother?
Can Hoshino Ruby beat Hoshino Aqua?
Is Hoshino Ruby using her brother?
Hoshino Ruby is following her twin brother's footsteps.
She can imagine the following headlines tomorrow.
Ruby suppresses the bitter feelings about this predicament, her brother is one of the known top actors in Japan, she knows it's not her brother's fault people keep comparing him to her.
“Did Aqua visit you these days?” Ruby asks.
Taishi sighs. “The prodigy tries whenever he has some time, I don't know why that kid is trying to keep in touch with me now that he's crazy popular.”
“He's too sentimental for that.”
They both share a smile at that.
Both of them know how Aqua will never let go of the people he cares about. Hell, Ruby knows Aqua is still in contact with Sana Kurata despite the fact Sana is sometimes busy with her school works, or Aqua sometimes visits the Miko Kaguya theater.
“I can't believe he's this popular these days…”
“Popular as Arima Kana.” Taishi agrees.
Since that Kuroyama guy from 2 years ago disappeared in this country to go to hollywood. Aqua keeps getting offers left and right. Sure, he's busy with Detective Conan, but he sometimes plays as a child version of a lead in some drama or makes a small appearance in some of the dramas.
Ruby remembers when there's a popular drama about the zombie apocalypse, Aqua appeared in that after the Detective Conan season 1 but also died. But his death makes a big impact on the narrative.
In Aqua's words; ‘I don't want to forget I can act as some characters other than Conan—I need to be versatile.’
He might not be a perfectionist in school anymore, but he's a damn perfectionist when it comes to acting.
“You said you have something to show me?”
Ruby's thoughts were cut off. Taishi is sitting right in front of him, arms cross, ready to be a mentor again.
“Wow seeing you now feels like your girlfriend didn't break up with you.”
“Ugh, don't remind me.”
Taishi's shoulder slump, oops.
Ruby clears her throat as she hands him the script for the play. “I'm going to sing too, if you don't mind.”
“Sure, go ahead.”
She closes her eyes, and breathes out.
Ruby then opens her eyes, eyes shining.
***
Taishi would be lying if he said he's not expecting anything from Ruby.
For the past years, he became fond of this girl, he proudly watched her grow—learning how to play instruments, being an actor, and improving her vocals.
So when Ruby opened her eyes, ready to act her scene, Taishi couldn't believe what he felt at the moment.
Unlike her brother, Ruby has a massive aura. If Aqua uses his charismatic charm to get the audience’s attention, Ruby doesn't need to do that, she only needs to stand in front of you.
It feels like seeing Riku Ogami again.
Taishi is willing to bet despite Ruby always being a side character, she stands out more than anyone whenever there's a play in Miko Kaguya theater. Two years ago, Ruby didn't have this kind of aura so did it develop over the months? It's possible.
No wonder Ms. Kurata insists for Ruby to be a main character.
Taishi would've known Ruby as an actress if it weren't for the fact Ruby wants Taishi to stay out of her plays this past year. Not because Ruby doesn't like Taishi, on the contrary, Ruby wants Taishi to stay out of it because she's not like Aqua that can easily impress Taishi.
The man tried to convince Ruby that he's also impressed by her but Ruby doesn't want to hear it.)
Ruby opens her mouth with a smirk.
“People rely on me,” She grins. “So I need to be strong and mature, I can't burden them when they rely on me.” Her arms spread wide, proud of her roots. “I can't be shown as weak or else they'll also feel discouraged. After all, I can handle everything because I'm their savior.”
Reading the script and watching Ruby acts, it perfectly captures how scary these lines come from a young child, yet it also captures the girl’s massive aura so people think Ruby is the people’s savior.
The play Ruby starred in is about the main character’s unconscious body descended from heaven right in front of all the villagers’ eyes. Ruby’s character has no name, only named as ‘savior.’
Eerily enough, Saviour acts like a normal child but the villagers don't see it that way, so the people around Savior keep saying to her that she's their salvation which it gets on the child's head.
Especially when said savior is practically an infant yet the child is an intelligent individual.
Ruby—no—Savior continues. “I owe to these people who keep taking care of me with so much grace.” There's a breath of sigh as her eyes look pure and innocent. “I’ll make sure their hopes and dreams will never dash away.”
Misako Kurata can be a random person, so Gotanda doesn't know what ending this play will have.
It's either it will en with a tragedy or a happy ending.
But it doesn't matter either way because—
Ruby begins to sing.
A star so similar yet so different from Aqua is right in front of Taishi.
Somewhere where a sun with so much shine, I'll be there.
A shine where the world is too much, I'll smile for them.
Her lyrics are hopeful and bright. The first sentence builds up to become a higher note, and then the next sentence becomes deep. It's the same as the 2nd paragraph.
As she sings, her emotion is full on display, not shying away from anything.
Taishi thinks Ruby and Ai have a different stage presence.
With Ai, it's full of lies that she crafted over the years. With Ruby, it's a pure talent she has from the start that she never knew she had until she trained on it.
My happiness is their happiness.
They’ll borrow my laughter, no uncanniness.
I'll bare my soul, no misshapenness.
Be with me, never sadness.
Ruby grins, upbeat with her body and notes. She claps her hands together, like she has time around the world.
Naivety is in her eyes. It makes Taishi whistle how Ruby is great at this.
Over the sunshine, I'll be the joyful salvation.
Because the salvation you gave, the savior is within me.
Ruby finishes the song with a puff of her chest, singing the note with high register.
She grins when her song ends.
Taishi claps. “That's amazing.”
Ruby smiles shyly at that. “It's actually easy for me considering the fact that this cheerful person was me once upon a time.”
“You're still like that though, the cheerful part not the sad part.” He points that out. “Also, you're talking as if you're already an adult.”
“I’m still a cheerful girl?” Ruby questions before she thinks about it more, ignoring the second part Taishi said. “I don't know about that…”
Years ago, Taishi might refute that fact but these days, Ruby keeps suppressing her emotions.
Suppressing what? Taishi doesn't know.
While performing earlier, Ruby looks like she’ll fly any moment with how featherlight her acting is, but once her scene ends, the exhaustion always comes back to her with full force.
A true actress, depressing as he thought it may be.
“You're already pretty good at this,” He murmurs. “So why need me?”
Ruby sheepishly smiles as she goes over to Taishi and grabs the script. Then she skips over some pages, and places it on Taishi’s hands.
“Remember the lyrics I sang just now?” She taps the page where the same lyrics as earlier are going to be repeated again in the ending. “I’ll sing this again but with a different context, a sad one at that. The acting part is kinda difficult for me though.”
He knows Ruby didn't come here for her vocals but Taishi doesn't know a thing or two about that. So that's leave it to…
Taishi sees the problem here.
“You need to act really sad here, right?”
“Yes.” Ruby slumps. “Ms. Kurata says my acting during this part feels lacking considering the fact this scene needs intensity.”
He nods at that. Compared to her brother who has multiple types of acting methods he can utilize, Ruby’s acting depends on studying the character she needs to play as, and tries to think what that character might feel as she empathizes with that character.
That technique and her strong aura is enough… until now, that is.
In the future, if Ruby wants to pursue acting, she’ll be able to master this kind of method of acting but right now as a child, Ruby is still lacking.
So she needs a different technique.
“Ruby,” For some reason, Tashi was hesitant about this but the girl did come to him to help her with this predicament. “Did you ever use some of your past memories to make an emotional scene more intense?”
Ruby stills, her wide eyes met with Taishi’s calm one.
“Ah, so you've thought about it.” He supplies, and Ruby never used it.
“...Is that the only way?”
“... Yes, if you want to improve your emotional acting.” Taishi hesitantly says. “But what you were already doing is enough.”
Her hands clench to a fist. “I'll think about it.”
Ah, Ruby is too much like her mother in that department.
Always suppressing whatever emotion or memories they have in the past, they bottled their feelings up in a deep ocean where people can't see it.
Come to think of it, Aqua did say in the past that Ai's talent in acting is… mixing reality with fiction. Too dangerous to use.
Is it the same for her daughter?
Taishi hopes that's not the case.
Notes:
ITS BEEN A WHILE WHAT THE HELL (I hope some people still read this lol)
Chapter 16: Book 1: Challenges
Summary:
“You'll do fine, Aqua, don't worry!”
“Ugh, the emotional acting would be hard if I need to create two different scenarios for my two different characters, so I can't just do fine.” Aqua looks up at Sana. “Do you get me?”
“I do.” Sana looks at him with pity and understanding.
“If you're the one who's acting this, how can you do this role?”
“I definitely can't do what you expect yourself to do in that role.” Sana sighs at this. “If I miraculously did, it would surely mess my head.”
“Ugh, why the hell did Taishi give me this role?”
Notes:
Before diving in this chapter, I just want to let you all know Aqua's reincarnation mechanics is INTENDED to be CONFUSING.
So if you're confused, then I did a great job lol
Chapter Text
“That's going to be hard…” Sana says as she reads Aqua’s script of Vengeance from the deaths.
Aqua sighs. “I know.”
They are both in Sana’s house. If they can help it, they would've been in the restaurant but unfortunately Aqua is a popular actor right now so they need to stay in line.
Both of them are currently eating snacks in the kitchen, Aqua sits in front of Sana who finished munching her snacks.
“But do you really have time to review this?” She asks with a raised eyebrow. “You're still shooting Detective Conan, right?”
“I can multitask just fine.”
“I can actually believe that coming from someone who has multiple awards.”
Ah, that. Aqua got lucky to get awards for the past two years since Detective Conan and the Dawn of the child’s ending was released.
“Are you not going to go back to acting?” Aqua asks, changing the subject.
“I’ll go back but I want to focus more on my school,” Sana puffs her chest in annoyance. “There's just one troublemaker at school that keeps disrupting the class, and I'm the one who will be able to stop it.”
He narrows his eyes. “That's the teacher’s job.”
“The teachers had enough though.”
“Maybe—”
“Aqua,” Sana firmly states his name. “I can handle this on my own, you need to focus on your own worries.”
Aqua frowns. “Are you sure?”
“I'm sure.” She says with a wave of her hand before her other free hand taps the script of Vengeance from the deaths. “You need to be more focused on this.”
He releases a big sigh. “How can I even do this?” His head hit the table. “These two twins are both protagonists, so I need for the two of them to shine.”
“You'll do fine, Aqua, don't worry!”
“Ugh, the emotional acting would be hard if I need to create two different scenarios for my two different characters, so I can't just do fine.” He looks up at Sana. “Do you get me?”
“I do.” Sana looks at him with pity and understanding.
“If you're the one who's acting this, how can you do this role?”
“I definitely can't do what you expect yourself to do in that role.” Sana sighs at this. “If I miraculously did, it would surely mess my head.”
“Ugh, why the hell did Taishi give me this role?”
“In his Director’s stand point, it's better to have a main character who is an expert at acting than a child actor who's oblivious at what he does,” She points out, and Aqua feels stupid not thinking the obvious, she continues. “Plus, you're popular so people would want to see you.”
What a strategic thing for Taishi to do, and choose Aqua for something like this.
He understands this…
But…
“But I don't want people to see me as Conan.” He bites his bottom lip. “I want them to see my capability as an actor.”
“People did see how capable you are when the Dawn of the Child was released.”
“And if the Vengeance from the deaths flops?” He rubs his face with his palm. “Who do you think they'll see first and point the blame?”
Sana scrunches her nose at that. Good, she understands Aqua’s position in this.
“I need more snacks and drinks for this.” She stands up. “Wait for a sec.”
As Sana goes for their snacks, Aqua is left to mull over his problem.
This franchise is massively popular, which means it reaches outside of Japan. This franchise is a movie that keeps getting more sequels because of how good this is.
The twins Aqua has to play are not even the main character of the main story of Vengeance from the deaths, but one of the twins is a co-protagonist while the other one is an antagonist.
They are also the fan favourites.
Whenever there's a popularity poll of it, either of the twins is the number 1 or 2.
Sana puts the snacks and drinks right in front of Aqua. “You know, you can just deny the offer, Taishi is fond of you.”
“I can,” He agrees. “But I also want to do this.”
She shakes her head at his words. “You and your pride as an actor.”
Aqua puffs a breath but doesn't refute her words. Yes, it's for his pride but he also wants to know if he can do this.
Sana sits back in her chair. “This would be easy if you have two personalities inside your tiny body.”
She starts to rumble some words but all Aqua can hear is white noise as he registers Sana’s words.
Two personalities…
… In one body.
Yes, Aqua can't talk to his past self whenever he wants but he knows Gorou. He watches his memories disappear and appear all over again.
Aqua has Gorou’s emotions that never leave.
Gorou said to Aqua they are two different entities in one body.
… Can Aqua apply this in his acting?
“Sana, you're a genius!” Aqua slammed his palm to the table with a grin.
Sana blinks at him in confusion. “I am?” Before her lips form to a smile. “Of course I am, wait did I say something intelligent?”
“Yes!” He exclaims. “I finally know what I should do.”
“What will you do?”
Aqua stops for a moment. He can't exactly say there's another entity inside his body so this role is kinda perfect for Aqua.
Is it another entity if you share the same soul?
... This reincarnation thing is messing his head.
Key word: Kinda perfect.
Aqua clears his throat. “Just an acting technique I can apply.”
Fortunately, Sana guilessly nods in acceptance.
They talk some more after that but Aqua is too restless to think straight so other topics fly out from his head.
Sana noticed how Aqua was spaced out throughout the day but she luckily was amused by this and not offended.
Kurata Sana is endearingly weird like that.
***
The play Ruby will be in is titled A Talented burnout.
This is one of the rare plays by Miko Kaguya theatre where it doesn't have a comedy on it, and it only has a hopeful ending.
Sure, Ruby is amazing at acting but not like Aqua despite his brother’s protest.
“Why do you keep sighing, Ruby?”
Ruby glances up to see Nino peering down to her.
Looking around, Nino and Ruby are the only two people in the dance rehearsal room.
For the past years, Ruby has made a hobby of going here in this room even if the B-Komachi isn't here. There's something about this room that comforts Ruby.
At first Saitou is worried of leaving Ruby in her own devices but with Ruby showing her cutesy and politeness, Saitou lets her go albeit reluctantly. She just needs to make sure Ruby tells Saitou wherever she goes, and Ruby needs to make sure Miyako or Ai will not know this.
They both know wrath will pave their way if either of Ruby’s two mothers knows about this.
“You're not busy today, Nino?” Ruby asks once she snaps out from her thoughts.
Nino sat beside Ruby with a small smile. “My shooting today was cut short so I decided to pass by.”
“Oh! You're shooting that historical drama, right?”
It's where Nino is the friend of the emperor’s daughter.
The woman nodded. “The filming location is close by from the Strawberry Production building so sometimes I left my things here.”
“Wait, the filming location was within distance of the Strawberry production?!” Ruby gasps out. “Why did nobody tell me that? That's unfair! I want to see you more often...!”
Nino abruptly laughs loudly, it makes Ruby blink in shock and confusion.
As Nino calms down, there's a tear in her eyes she wiped out. “You are really a fan of B-Komachi. You even want to visit this little old me.”
Ruby blush in embarrassment. Being a B-Komachi fan was so obvious to the said idols, so sometimes Kyu and Watanabe teased Ruby about it.
But Ruby will never deny she's a fan, “Of course I'm a fan to all of you! I have all your photocards, school editions, poster—”
Seeing Nino’s indulgent smile to her, Ruby ducks her head again as her cheeks heat up.
This is so embarrassing…!
“To be honest,” Nino makes a self-deprecating smile. “I thought you'll only be a fan of Ai.”
At first. Ruby winces at the thought. As Sarina, she had few favourites, but loved Ai more.
The thing is, Ruby became a fan of all B-Komachi members because she saw how all of them work hard.
Members who help Ai with the production, members who create choreography, members who have their own position on stage and so on.
Ruby is sure the fans appreciate the B-Komachi teamwork now but…
It's too late, they were already overshadowed by Ai.
Even Saitou has some regrets about that.
“Yes, I was a fan of Ai in the past but…” Ruby leans forward to Nino, eyes sparkling. “But seeing all of your hardwork in this group, makes me want to be just like all of you! I really admire B-Komachi's work!”
Nino stares at Ruby with wide eyes, it made Ruby worry if she said too much.
Then, Nino smiles, she pats Ruby's head. “You're a good girl, Ruby.”
Ruby preens at the praise despite questioning where those compliments came from.
“Ah right, you didn't answer my question earlier.” Nino puts her hands back in her lap. “Why do you keep sighing?”
As if the memory were hitting her, she slumped dejectedly. “It’s about my acting…”
“Oh? Is this about the theatre you are in?”
“I've become the main character there,” Ruby sighs again. “And someone told me I need to do an emotional act.”
“I see, so you're struggling how to do that?” Nino questions as Ruby nodded. “How did you act before?”
“I study my character thoroughly.” She slowly answers. “And then I emphasised the character easily through my acting.”
Nino hums. “So the person who told you to do an emotional act is basically saying you need to do more.”
“I think so?” Ruby looks down at her lap. “I've been doing that kind of acting for two years, and then suddenly I was chosen as the main character who needs to do an emotional acting.”
“You must be charismatic to be able to not use emotional acting until now.” She smiles at her. “I'm not surprised. You're like Ai in that kind of aspect, people can't help but to look at you.”
Ruby resists flinching at the comparison with Ai—her secret mother.
“Alright!” Nino pats her shoulder. “Why don't you try it?”
“I don't know how…” That's the problem. It's not like Ruby has done this before, heck she doesn't even have painful memories to apply in this, Sarina and Ruby has a happy life—
“Ruby.” Nino calls out, and Ruby turns her attention to her. “Imagine something painful.”
“Like how my character would feel?”
“No but imagine your life as Ruby who experienced a painful past.”
At Ruby’s confusion, Nino sighs. “Alright, let's change tactics.”
“Ok…” Ruby stands up in front of Nino as the woman thinks about how to help Ruby.
“What if your parents pretend they love you?”
A strike of memory penetrated Ruby’s mind.
“Mom,” Sarina called out before her mother could leave her again. “I love you.”
Her mother paused, her hands clasped on the hospital door knob.
But then, her mother turned around with a smile on her face as she nodded with blank eyes.
Desperation claws at Sarina so she asked, “You love me, right, mom?”
Her mother laughed and looked at her in disbelief. “Of course a mother loves her daughter.” She waved her hand in dismissal before she left the room.
Sarina felt empty, and her mother's laugh sounded hollow.
Suddenly, there's a tear streaming down Ruby's face.
“Wha—” Ruby tries to wipe her face but to no avail the tears keep falling.
“Oh shit—” someone curses. “I'm so sorry Ruby.”
A handkerchief tries to wipe the tears away. Ruby looks up to see a blurry woman kneeling in front of her.
Oh. It's Nino.
Right. She's Hoshino Ruby now.
Ruby sniffles. “I'm sorry Nino.”
Nino looks at her in disbelief as she uses her handkerchief to wipe the snot in Ruby’s nose. “Why are you apologising, Ruby? I should be the one doing that.”
She silently wipes Ruby's tears and tries to help her calm down.
When Ruby calms down, both of them sat down again on the couch.
“I'm really sorry—”
“It's ok.” She murmurs, “I think you helped me—no—you really did help me.”
At Nino’s incredulous face, Ruby hugs Nino. She doesn't know if it is to comfort the idol or to comfort herself.
“I think I have an idea of what I'll do with my acting.”
Nino hugs her back. “You know, you're doing fine with the way you acted before, you don't need to go all out.”
Ruby shakes her head in Nino’s chest. “I can't do that, or else I'll be overshadowed again by Aqua, or at least that's what the headlines will say”
“... I sometimes forget people keep comparing you to Aqua,” Nino murmurs out in her hair. “How can I convince you now not to be too hard on yourself when I know very well about being overshadowed by someone else?”
She looks up to Nino with a grin. “Then you’ll have to support me.”
“Cheeky girl.” Nino pinched Ruby’s cheeks. “Your father who happens to be my boss might kill me if he finds out I made you cry.”
“Then don't tell him.”
“You forgot there's CCTV here.”
Ruby is quiet for a moment. “If he did see what happened, I'll make sure he’ll never say anything to mom.” She can't let Miyako find out or else she'll definitely say something to Ai.
“You better be.” Nino snorts before she shakes her head. “Are you ok now?”
“I'm ok.” Ruby smiles up. “Thank you, Nino.”
“Then this is my time to leave.” Nino peels herself away from Ruby. “Just don't get too carried away with your acting, alright?”
Ruby nods. Nino leaves.
Her smile fell down as she realised something from her acting.
Maybe…
She leans down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.
Maybe she's suppressing her past and emotions as Sarina—no—Ruby definitely knows she locks her feelings as Sarina, she also knows the reason why.
But… she doesn't think she'll ever accept it… or maybe it's time to let out Sarina’s grievance.
Ruby blankly stares up at the ceiling.
The character Savior was happy and hopeful in the beginning but at the end, she lost herself.
She never thought she'd be able to relate to this character until now.
At the age of 10, Sarina is still hopeful she'll heal from her illness. At the age of 12, she died.
Sarina’s feelings are also Ruby’s feelings.
She already decided the feeling she had been suppressing and locked away for years… Ruby will let it out.
Ruby is too tired to be compared to Aqua.
***
“Are we going to talk again?”
The only response Aqua is going to get from Gorou is staring through his soul.
Aqua is still wondering if the staring through his soul is metaphorically or literally.
“C’mon,” He pokes at the man. “Do something.”
Finally, Gorou stops staring, he let out a big exasperated sigh. “How did you become me again?”
“I don't know,” Aqua shrugs. “Then again we don't know how we got reincarnated.”
Gorou puffs an air. “You have a point.”
He raises his left eyebrow. “When did you even get manifested in here?”
“You mean the fact you can talk to your past self?”
“Yes?”
“I also don't know how it happened because I just appeared a month ago,” He answers with a shrug. “I saw some glimpse of your memories until we shockingly talked.”
Aqua narrows his eyes. “So you mean you were literally born inside my head? You're like my subconsciousness or something?”
“Maybe? But one thing I'm sure is we have the same soul,” He shot Aqua a look. “The difference? Our level of maturity.”
Aqua shot him a disbelief look. “People have told me numerous times that I'm mature for my age.”
“Yeah? People told me that when I was a child.”
“Are you saying my mental age is not 30 anymore?”
“I don't even know if your mental age is even 30 to begin with.” Gorou looks mystified by that.
“Then can you explain how I could speak clearly when I was just a baby years ago?” Aqua clearly points it out.
“Alright, you make a great point.”
“I think this phenomenon happened because,” Aqua points to himself and to his past self. “Something separated us?”
Gorou hums, thankfully not insulting Aqua's conclusion. “Maybe my own mental age can't adapt to your child's age, mental maturity is a big thing after all.”
“I think when I was a baby, our maturity levels tried to mix up inside my head.”
“Clearly that wasn't successful when you keep forgetting some part of my past.”
“But I remember about Ai, Sarina and Kujou.”
Gorou froze.
Aqua swallows, maybe mentioning the three people he cares about is a mistake. There's a dangerous glint in Gorou’s eyes when Aqua looks up to it.
He is suddenly reminded about Gorou’s… family history, and it's not pretty.
Even though Aqua can't clearly remember the details, he knows the crucial things of what he did for Kujou to have other family members take their hands off his sister.
Aqua is about to apologize but Gorou beats him first by clearing his throat.
“Although something separated us,” Gorou glances at Aqua. “You still have my capabilities such as my intelligence at this young age.”
Aqua can't refute that, it's true after all.
“You told me that the last time we met.” He says. “I also got your emotions.”
Especially…
Despite not knowing Sarina, Aqua still felt the grief in his chest thinking about the little girl who is like a sister for Gorou.
“So we're going to live our life like this?” Gorou thought about it but then shakes his head. “Never mind, not ‘our.’ This life is more yours than mine.”
Aqua nods, not knowing what to reply to that.
This reincarnation thing is confusing. He can't ask Ruby about this, already knowing years ago his reincarnation is different from Ruby’s.
“Then that's that, I guess,” He gives Aqua a questioning glance. “Do you have something to discuss with me or should we stare at each other for another hour?”
“Actually, I want something from you…” Aqua doesn't know if this is a good idea or it might pissed Gorou off but he doesn't have a choice in this matter. “Can I see your memories again during your childhood?”
Gorou lifts his right eyebrow. “Why? You're not even going to remember some things in three days.”
“I need it for…” Aqua trails off, scared to continue his words.
“Ah,” Gorou gives an amusing chuckle which makes Aqua want to back off because he doesn't exactly… trust himself. “It’s for your role, right?”
Although Gorou knows some of Aqua’s memories, there's some things Gorou can't see.
So how did Gorou find out?
Maybe Aqua looks confused to Gorou so the man just chuckles. “Kid, you know there's a reason I'm a prodigy in my family.” He smirks. “You did get my intelligence from me.”
Gorou is so laid back and cool like this but… Aqua can't forget how the former doctor sometimes acts when it comes to Ai from B-B-Komachi. An otaku.
“So… is that a yes or no?” Aqua ask in a small voice.
The former doctor gives him a dismissive wave. “It’s fine, you can watch it, I'm already dead so what's the point of being protective of my family.” A memory suddenly appears in front of Aqua like a projector. “You are also me, after all.”
And isn't that the truth and a confusing thought.
***
Ruby listlessly stares at Saitou’s window office from the couch, right next to the large window.
Now that Ruby is more open to her feelings—her past life's feelings—Ruby could admit Sarina’s mother never loved her.
She never has to wonder about her previous father. If her mother rarely visit Sarina in her hospital room, then her father is practically nonexistent.
Letting out these feelings is hard…
…Can Ruby lock it away again? This is too painful.
“Ruby,” Saitou taps her on the shoulder gently. “Are you ok?”
Ruby blinks up at Saitou. “I'm ok.
Saitou frowns. “I don't think so, you've been off for the past few days.”
“I'm really fine…”
“Your mama—Ai doesn't seem to think so, she's also worried about you.”
“How would she know? She's rarely at home these days.” She sharply said before her eyes widened in surprise.
Ruby is more surprised by the words she blurts out than what Saitou heard from her. Saitou just stares at her in wide-eyed surprise.
She grimaces. “I'm sorry.” She then clears her throat. “I don't know where that came from.”
All these negative feelings came from Sarina, she can't control her feelings to her past mother as it keeps crawling out from her heart.
It doesn't help the fact Ruby is starting to get bitter. Ai and Aqua are rarely at home, too busy with their work—it also made Ruby want to do some work too, thus, the drum and violin classes and the theater.
Ruby understands why they are busy. She's really happy Aqua found what he felt passionate about and mama is working for their family.
It's… a little lonely.
It feels like Ruby Sarina is back at that hospital room.
“I'm sorry, Ruby.” Saitou says as he sits next to her.
Ruby frowns at the president of the strawberry production. “Why are you apologizing? It's not like you're doing something wrong.”
“I'm their boss, Ruby.” Saitou gives her a dry smile. “I'm the one who gives them tasks.”
“Still, it's for the betterment of their popularity.” Ruby looks away. “I'm the one who's supposed to know that more than anyone. I'm sorry for acting immature.”
Saitou snorts. “You're the one who has a right to act immature. You're what? 9 years old, right?”
Ruby nods, even if she's mentally 12 years old. Wait, is she even still mentally at that age or did her age increase if Ruby’s age is included? Should she add it together?
Let's not think about that. Too confusing.
“My reason for acting strange is not serious as you think it is,” Ruby doesn't know how she can interpret the deadpan look Saitou gives her, the fact she changed the subject or the fact her reasoning is not enough.
“Then what is?” Saitou indulgently asks.
“I'm conditioning.” Ruby mumbles. “I have a play in Miko Kaguya theater as the main character.”
“Ah right, Miyako told me that.”
“My main character there is a tragic one,” Ruby continues. “So my attitude is kinda wacky right now because I'm trying to condition myself.”
Saitou frowns worriedly. “That's still concerning, it's taking a mental toll on you.”
“I'll be fine.” She insists.
The president fortunately nodded, Ruby sighs a relief at that.
“I'm still sorry for keeping you away from Ai.” Saitou says, Ruby looks away. “From keeping you away from your own mother.”
Ruby sighs. “Do you always apologize for these kinds of things?”
Saitou looks confused. “Um, what?”
“We both know you regret some things with the B-Komachi.”
“Ah.”
Ruby leans forward. “Do you always apologize like this?”
“I wish I could.” Saitou sighs. “But nothing will change anymore, I tried everything I could do for the B-Komachi not to be seen as only Ai’s dancers.”
She grimaces, she knows that fact, she witnessed how Saitou worked hard to no avail. Although some fans recognized the B-Komachi’s effort it still wasn't enough.
“I was greedy,” Saitou murmurs. “I was so focused on Ai that I didn't get to see how I'm hurting the other girls.”
As Sarina and earlier in life as Ruby, she saw how Saitou desperately promoted Ai, and solely for Ai. In targeting the market, it's a clever move but it's also a risky move by sacrificing the other girls by neglecting them.
“Then Ai becomes a good composer,” Saitou continues, “I never saw anything beyond Ai until the other girls tried to be…useful for what they can do, and damn they are good at what they can do.”
The choreography, the production of the album, the teamwork and among other things…
Saitou tries to save the other girls reputation by making them more expose to the public, more interviews at what they can do, and the behind the scenes he did for producing the album and for backstage during the concert.
“I think you already learned from your mistake.” Ruby concludes as Saitou glances in her direction. “The new idol group you have is doing good on their own.”
She distinctly remembers the center Kanon Nakagawa as the center of the newly formed idol group named Citron.
It was 2 years ago this group was formed. Right now, it's decently popular but not as popular as B-Komachi though.
Saitou puffs a breath. “That doesn't change the fact…” about what happened to the B-Komachi. It was left unsaid but Ruby hears it clearly.
“Then keep working hard for them.” Ruby shrugs. “They are the reason why you have money in your hands, but also the the reason why they have money in their palm, so two parties don't have a choice other than to work together despite what happened.”
It's not like they are not already doing that but still…
Saitou laughs, making Ruby blink. “You're a riot Ruby.” He ruffles her head.
She swats it away with a pout but she feels warmth from the words she heard.
“I don't know how I came from comforting you to comforting me.” He clicks his tongue. “But maybe it's my fault I sometimes forget you're just a child.”
“You're an old man now so you sometimes forget some things.”
“You brat—”
***
When Ruby was escorted back home by Miyako who insists she needs to leave early because she has something to do, Ruby thought she'll be alone in the penthouse.
So imagine her surprise when Ruby is greeted by Ai’s smile.
She can't help but return the smile as big as she can give, and runs into her arms.
“Mama!”
Ai hugs her as fiercely as Ruby does.
“Ruby!”
Ruby lets go of her arms. “You're back early.”
“Saitou ordered me along with the other members to have a vacation for a week.” Ai frowns but not too worried about it. “I came to a conclusion that maybe the president is in a good mood?”
Ruby can't help but to grin at the revelation. There's a reason why Saitou is her favorite sometimes.
“Is Aqua here?”
“Unfortunately he's not here yet but Miyako told me he’ll be back late.”
Although she is a bit dismayed by the news, she's still happy to get some alone time with mama.
After that, Ai ordered a takeout for them, and decided to watch some sitcom for the two of them.
Ruby leans into Ai as her mother scratches her scalp gently that makes Ruby feel like a cat.
“Are you ok, Ruby?”
Ah. She forgot mama was worried about her because she's been off for days according to the president.
She glances up. “Mama, you were in a theater in the past, right?”
Ai tilts her head. “Yes.”
Ruby still remembers how mama showcases her acting to Aqua years ago.
“I'm trying to condition myself for the play if you've heard it from Miyako.” At Ai’s nod, Ruby continues. “The character I'm going to play is a tragic main character so I need to condition myself to be able to play that.”
For some reason, mama sits up straighter. “Are you ok? You're not feeling overwhelmed or something?”
“I'm fine.” She says. “I think I now get what you did back then, mama.”
“What do you mean?”
“I get what you did back then when you showed me and Aqua what real acting is.”
By Ai’s confusion, Ruby demonstrated.
She smiles through the tears. “Like this.”
Ai is shocked, Ruby can tell by the look on her mother’s face. But what surprised Ruby was Ai grabbing her shoulders and stroking Ruby's face gently.
“Are you really ok?” Ai rubs Ruby’s back. “Did something happened? Or is anyone hurting you?’
Ruby leans into the warmth Ai provides. “I'm really ok.”
There's silence that was created as Ai’s hands circle the back of Ruby’s.
At the same time, Ruby is content with where she is at. But…
It's obvious how much Ai is worrying right now based on how shaken Ai’s face currently is and the physical comfort is too desperate. Ruby wonders what she did was worth to be worrying...
Then Ai breaks the silence.
“Ruby, do you want to be an actress in the future?”
Ruby stills, before she shakes her head. “I don't but I still want to do my best in this play.”
Ai nods in understanding as she lets go of Ruby, still, Ruby didn't let go of Ai’s hands but ignored how her mother's hands are currently trembling. Ai gives her a smile.
That smile is too fixed in Ruby's opinion but she lets it go. Ruby doesn't want her mama to be worried again.
“I'll definitely watch you.”
Ruby snorts. “You're always there on every opening night of our play—mine and Aqua’s.”
Ai boops Ruby’s noise, causing Ruby to giggle as Ai laughs. “That doesn't mean I can't reassure both of you that I'll come.”
Ruby’s smile falls down.
“What's wrong?” Ai frowns.
“Mama…” Ruby bites her bottom lip. “If I told you I want to become an idol, what would you say to that?”
For the second time that day, Ai is render shock.
The thing is, Sarina wanted to become a popular ice skater just to make her mom proud.
But when Sarina was hospitalized and the only thing she could do was watch Ai from B-Komachi, Sarina couldn't help but magnetize Ai’s form—her star.
At those times, Sarina wanted to become an idol.
But reborning as Ruby changed that.
Suddenly, she's not sure anymore. Suddenly, she's overthinking. And suddenly, she has multiple options.
Suddenly, Ruby has a future.
Ruby tries to ignore the elephant in the room in her mind—the idol option.
She searches for her passion. Ruby tries to get in as a ballerina but her love there evaporated during her past life. She tries to watch ice skating but she can't even take a look at one second before changing the channel.
Then, Ruby is fascinated by how Ai works while producing a song. And then it added to the fact Ruby became in love with instruments.
But then Ruby learns to dance.
It doesn't erase the fact she was still scared to step on to the future.
So Ruby keeps searching, and maybe she can find something she'll be passionate about.
But acting only made her bitter.
Now that Ruby is still searching for what she wants in the future—being an idol is in the back of her mind.
Especially when Ruby opens the doors to her suppressing feelings and memories as Sarina—it also opens some doors of emotions other than bitterness.
“Being an idol…?” Ai questions.
Ruby meekly nodded.
Ai sparkles. “If that's what you want, I'll support you!”
“Really?” Her bewilderment can't be hidden.
“Of course!” She grins. “Just imagining it… Oh! You'll be good at it, Ruby!”
Ruby shyly smiles. “I hope I can beat mama.”
Ai gives her a mischievous smile. “Are you challenging your mother?”
“Yes!”
Her mother laughs at her reply as Ruby grins.
Suddenly, Ai lights up even more. “I have a better idea than competing.”
“What is it?”
“Maybe someday we can dance on the same stage.” Ai excitedly says. “Maybe it would be a Collab or it's when I revealed you are my daughter. Well, it doesn't matter, the only thing it matters is dancing together with you on the stage!”
Ruby’s eyes start sparkling at the idea. It doesn't matter how they'll be able to share the stage but the thought of it is…
Her heart might explode.
Ruby shares her excitement. “I would love that mama!”
“Alright,” Ai raises her pinky finger. “That would be our promise. A mother-daughter duo on stage!”
She intertwines her own pinky finger with her mother. “Ok, that's a promise, mama!”
I love you, mama. Ruby wants to say.
But she's still scared of what her mother will reply to those words so Ruby shuts her mouth up before she can blurt anything.
Someday, Ruby will say it.
Ruby feels hopeful.
Someday.
One year later, Ruby will look back at this moment and start to wonder if what she felt back then is what Savior felt for the villagers before things came crashing down around Savior.
But right now, the present day is more important.
Hope is such a double edge sword to have.
Chapter 17: Book 1: Ruby's Acting
Summary:
“You said we're still fluent with our English accent, right? It wouldn't be surprising if you still have the capability to know how to fight.” She points that out. “It's also been so long since I did ballet and yet in this life I still know how to do it.”
“Huh.” Aqua says in absolute shock. “I never thought of that.”
Ruby stares at Aqua for a moment, thinking and mulling.
“Hey, Aqua.”
“Hmm?”
“Why does it feel like this second chance of life is too good for us?”
Aqua’s head bows down. “It also feels like some high entity is guiding our path to success.”
“A god?” Ruby thought out loud. “That would be nice.”
Chapter Text
“(I heard you would be the main character of the new play in Miko Kaguya theatre?)”
Ruby narrows her brows. “(Why are you speaking English?)”
Aqua sat next to her on the couch while Ruby was previously fighting someone from the YouTube comments about Ai.
“That's strange, we never lost our English fluent accent.” Aqua ponders as he goes back to speaking Japanese.
She tilts her head. “Is it strange we didn't lose it?”
“Uh, yes?” This time, Aqua is more confused. “It’s been years since we spoke another language other than English.”
Huh. So not speaking fluently to a certain language for a long time means there's a possibility of losing your accent?
So there's more in this world she didn't know about.
“Why did you not know that?” He narrows his eyes in suspicion. “Every person knows that.” He pauses for a moment. “Well, other than children or people who have been isolated from the world.”
Fuck.
Abort, abort.
Aqua can't know Ruby’s real mental age or else…!
The teasing Ruby will suffer would be forever. One, because it's obvious she's so much younger than him, and Two, because she's been lying to him over a decade.
“You're asking about my play right?” Ruby questions instead.
“Ah right!” Fortunately, Aqua moves on fast from the topic but Ruby knows it definitely did not remove from his mind. “Sana told me about it just now on the phone call.”
“I was about to tell you in person but you were always late from work.”
Aqua grimaces. “Right. Sorry.”
“I'm trying to do emotional acting.” Ruby sighs as she puts her phone down. “How did you even do these things?”
“Wait, you've never done that before?”
“No,” She shakes her head. “I’ve only been a side character or background character for the past two years.”
“Hmm, your stage presence is as big as mama—maybe even more than mama so I'm not surprised your stage presence and adaptability are enough.” Aqua says.
Ruby glances at him. “I see how you act, you always understand what people want from you, and you also don't struggle.”
“What do you mean?”
“You told me before that you always use different kinds of methods of acting, even visiting your painful memories which you can easily brush off now, and you don't even have any identity issues with all the characters you've played before.”
Aqua’s eyes widened as he met Ruby’s piercing gaze.
Then a realisation must have hit him because he suddenly grabs Ruby’s shoulder. “Are you using your past memories? Are you ok? You're not having any identity crisis have you?”
Ruby rolls her eyes with the way his brother is being a worrywart right now.
What a protective twin brother she has.
She smiles.
“I'm fine.” She peels herself away from Aqua. “But I'm having some of my own realisation that what happened to me is not ok.”
Aqua nods, as if he understands. Maybe he did, knowing Aqua, he would have his own suspicions to what kind of life Ruby had in her previous life.
She hopes his suspicions are not included about Ruby’s previous age.
“My acting is the same as mama,” Ruby quietly continues. “Do you want me to give you an example?”
He shakes his head. “No, it's fine.” She can see the concern in his eyes as he speaks. “You’re more alike with mama so I'm not surprised.”
“So how can you do this kind of job?” Ruby asks.
Aqua shrugs. “To be honest, I learned how to compartmentalise my memories, feelings, and emotions.” His eyes glint lightly as his index finger taps his head. “And then I study my character, imagine my environment, careful with my body movement and let my character use their emotion, utilise what kind of memories or emotions I'll use, but still gaining control of what the script and the director wants me to do.”
Ruby is honestly speechless at what Aqua said just now.
How can something like that be possible… clearly it's possible because Aqua is right in front of him—telling Ruby this is his method of acting.
There's a light in Aqua's eyes as he waits for Ruby’s reply. It is honestly startling.
“Aqua…” Ruby slowly trails off. “I don't know about you but I'm seeing a genius right now.”
Aqua blinks, he then looks behind the couch, trying to surely gouge who Ruby is talking about, but when he sees there's nothing behind him, he looks at Ruby in confusion.
She smacks his twin brother in the head.
“Ow!”
“For being such a genius, you're such an idiot!” Ruby pokes him on the ribs. “I'm talking about you, you dimwit!”
“Me?” He points at himself, absolutely gobsmack.
It's honestly infuriating to see how clueless Aqua is. Ruby wants to hit her own head against the wall.
“Do you want me to drag you to the room where we can see your awards and trophies from being one of the best actors?”
“Alright, I got your point already.”
Ruby crosses her arms. “Next thing you know, you'll be in an action movie doing stunts.”
“Yeah, I won't need to use stunt doubles if I know how to do martial arts.” He casually says as if Ruby is not mind blown about that fact. “Although I don't know if I can still fight considering it's been years since I fought someone.”
“You said we're still fluent with our English accent, right? It wouldn't be surprising if you still have the capability to know how to fight.” She points that out. “It's also been so long since I did ballet and yet in this life I still know how to do it.”
“Huh.” Aqua says in absolute shock. “I never thought of that.”
Ruby stares at Aqua for a moment, thinking and mulling.
“Hey, Aqua.”
“Hmm?”
“Why does it feel like this second chance of life is too good for us?”
Aqua’s head bows down. “It also feels like some high entity is guiding our path to success.”
“A god?” Ruby thought out loud. “That would be nice.”
“Maybe…”
She takes a look at Aqua’s face, and as Ruby expected, Aqua is suspicious of the higher entity who gave both Ruby and Aqua a second chance in life.
“By the way, Ruby.”
Suddenly, Aqua gently grabs Ruby’s hands, sincerity bleeds in his eyes, and so much care towards Ruby.
“I know you're having a hard time with your emotional acting, and maybe it would blur the line between reality and fiction.” Aqua tightens his hands around her but not suffocating as Ruby would've expected. “But remember the happy memories, alright? Many people will be here with you, especially mama and me.”
Ruby feels her throat clogged up with something, her eyes turning blurry as she looks away from Aqua but not letting go of his hands.
“Got it.” She sniffs. “Thank you, Aqua.”
***
Misako is sometimes worried for Ruby.
Over the two years, she became fond of that girl who is part of the Kaguya theatre and eventually became one of her daughter’s close friends.
Of course she knows how people scrutinised her because of her twin brother's popularity.
Misako watches how Ruby brushes off the comparison, it makes her feel relieved the blond girl is not affected by it.
But still, Miyako wants people to know Ruby’s capabilities as an actress without Aqua’s name written on the headlines.
So Misako requested Ruby to be the main character of the new play. It's a perfect opportunity because she's sure Ruby would do Savior’s character justice but also it will make some paparazzi bite their tongue.
At first, Ruby denied the role. Misako respected that but she told her if Ruby changed her mind, she can come to her.
But she didn't expect her daughter to be the one to insist Ruby. Maybe Sana also saw Ruby’s potential.
Ruby eventually accepted the offer.
The first week of rehearsal came. Ruby was surprisingly quiet throughout it. Even during the script reading, the little girl was quiet.
Misako then realised Ruby is trying to drown in the role as much time as she could.
Hoshino Ruby is a social person who is always the one who initiates to talk first.
So for the first few days of rehearsal, Ruby is awfully quiet. But when someone approaches her, Ruby welcomes them to talk as much as the blonde girl can listen.
As expected, Ruby delivers the scene perfectly between Savior and the villagers. The main character is still happy in this scene..
Sana sat next to Misako. “Ruby is shining more than she ever did before, it's amazing!”
Indeed. Not only Ruby’s stage presence is huge but the way she smiles and laughs feels like Miyako is watching Savior.
A few hours later, they start to rehearse the scene where the villagers keep demanding for Savior to do something with their farm because the crops are dying out.
While the villagers celebrate, Savior goes back to her cave—her home the people gave to her, Savior treasures it so much—to play with her wooden doll.
“Did you create that?” The female villager who followed her points out to the wooden toy Saviour holds.
“Yes!” Saviour happily exclaims, despite the exhaustion from saving the crops earlier.
The adult villager goes over to her. “Give that to me.”
“But—” Her lips wobble as she tries to stiff her wooden toy in her chest. “This is mine…”
“Then what about my own child?” The villager grabs the wooden toy as Saviour cries out. “You want all of the villagers to be happy right?”
“Um…” The child glances at the woman and then to the wooden toy. “Of course!”
“Good girl.” She says as Saviour preens.
The villager left the scene.
Misako was about to cut the scene like she previously did when they did this scene but she pauses.
In the shock of so many people, tears streamed down Ruby’s face, as she keeps smiling.
Before Sana—her daughter is next to her—can voice out her worries, Ruby wipes her tears away.
Her smile does not disappear. Ruby—no—Saviour stares at Misako or to where the audience seats are supposed to be as she keeps smiling.
“I'm a good girl, she says.” She smiles as the lights in her eyes are nowhere to be seen. “They care about me, it's fine. I'm a good girl after all.”
Another tears rolls down her face but Saviour immediately wiped it away.
She keeps smiling.
It's honestly heart wrenching for someone in Ruby’s age to see this.
“Cut!” Misako shouts.
Around Misako, people stare at Ruby in awe or in a different light.
Ruby is still on the floor, breathing in and out.
“I think her mental state is cooling down after that scene.” Someone says as Misako agrees.
She goes over to Ruby carefully. “Are you ok, Ruby?”
It's silent for a few seconds until Ruby nods. “Did I do fine?”
“Honestly? You were amazing.”
Ruby glances up to her. “But the last lines were not even in the script.”
“Then we can add it,” She smiles. “What you interpret for the Savior in that scene is better than my interpretation of what I previously thought.”
The blonde girl is trying to proceed with what she said, then Ruby nods. “If that's what you think is the best.”
Suddenly, Sana runs past Miyako as she hugs Ruby.
“You were amazing!” Sana exclaims. “We're definitely going to win an award because of you!”
Ruby ducks her head in embarrassment.
Miyako smiles as she watches the scenes in front of her.
***
“You're going to watch my memories again?” Gorou asks incredulously.
Aqua rolls his eyes. “Get used to it.”
“I thought you’re still filming Detective Conan?”
“I am but I can multitask.”
Gorou stares at him. “Geez, I don't know who is much worse when it comes to overworking, you or me?”
“We share the same soul.” He reminds him. “But if you're wondering, you’re the one who has a worse life considering how controlling your grandparents were.”
The doctor winces. “Valid point.”
“Maybe you are me after all.” He suddenly blurts out of nowhere. “We know mixing an adult soul with a child soul by putting the mature soul inside the baby’s body to begin with is already hard but maybe I made it difficult because of my method of acting!”
“I don't follow…”
“Basically my method of acting by compartmentalising everything is how I made you, add to the fact we already made it difficult because a child’s body cannot handle adapting fully when there's an adult soul mixing with a newborn’s soul. That's what I'm getting at.”
Gorou puts a hand on his chin. “That's a great speculation.”
“Right?”
“But it feels like this is going somewhere and we still don't know what…”
"Anyway," Aqua sighs, relenting. "I need something more than this if I want to shoot the Vengeance from the deaths.”
“As you said, you are me after all.” Gorou says pointedly. “You can basically act like me, then you can also act like yourself. And surprise! Two different people. We might share the same soul but we have different attitudes in some aspects.” He shrugs.
“Hmm.” Aqua thinks about it. “You and Gakano basically has the malicious personality—”
“Who is Gakano—?”
“And I'm kinda a quiet but innocent one like Takagi?”
“Who the fuck is Takagi—?”
“Right!” Aqua stands up. “Thank you, Gorou!”
Before Gorou could reply, Aqua was abruptly woken up by Ai.
Aqua blinks
His mama blinks.
“Are you ok?” Ai's eyes light up in concern. “That's an aggressive way to wake up…”
“I'm fine mama.” Aqua reassures her. “I think you startled me.”
Ai looks sheepish by that before she smiles down at him. “Time to go to school.”
Sometimes, Aqua forgot he had a school to go to.
Then again, all his exams and recitation are perfect. Even his PE class.
Anyway, Aqua has a plan for the Vengeance from the deaths.
***
After months of preparation, 'A Talented Burnout' opening day is here right under the Hoshino family’s nose.
Of course, Aqua and Ai go, they’ll rather die than miss it. Miyako, Saitou and Gotanda are also here to watch Ruby. All of them sat in a VIP room which Ruby reserved just for them—only a few people could enter the top floor.
2 years ago, the VIP room did not exist yet. He's glad Ms. Kurata changed that decision.
Anyway…
Aqua smirks, he knows Ruby will kill this role.
“As I said,” Saitou pokes both Aqua and Ai. “Be careful and don't ever take off your disguises.” Then he gives Ai a look. “And don't cause a commotion.”
“But that's just one time, president!” She whines as Aqua blush from embarrassment, remembering how he froze years ago.
Taishi snickers at Aqua. “You have good disguises there.”
Aqua only wears his cap and glasses. He also wore normal clothes.
Frankly, from an outsider's perspective, it feels quite a joke to wear this kind of disguise when his mother who also wears glasses and a cap puts an effort to tie her own hair to make it look like she's a man, and she wore men's clothes today.
But Aqua has a secret weapon.
“Mister,” Aqua tilts his head as he speaks at Taishi. “There's a child next to you.”
Taishi glances down next to him, it's just Miyako. The man looks back with confusion in his eyes.
Aqua smiles at the air next to Taishi. “Hello, are you new here?” He nods at the empty air. “I see, I see.”
“What the hell?” Saitou swiveled his head to Aqua. “Did you hit your head or something, Aqua?”
The boy just gives him a small smile but there's something creepy about it, add to the fact his stare issomething else.
He just stared…
“Uhh???” Saitou subtly hides behind Miyako who laughs at her husband.
“Hey, don't laugh at me!”
The woman shakes her head. “Aqua is quite an actor.”
Then another person laughs—this time, it's Ai.
“I got it!” Taishi exclaims as he glances over at Aqua who decides to go back to his normal self as he stops staring at Saitou. “This is your disguise, huh?”
“Yep!” Aqua happily says. “I can't be Ai so I need to be an actor, so if someone talks to me, I'll become a creepy child unlike the sweetheart Hoshino Aqua on the screen.”
“You really chose the creepy character type?” Saitou questions as he also composed himself but not before Miyako looks at her husband with a teasing smile.
“I choose the creepy character type because it makes people uncomfortable and more possible to not interact with the said creepy child.”
“Alright, point taken.”
Ai pats the president on the shoulder. “Don't worry, president. I also got a show earlier from Aqua when I tried to insist on putting on more disguise.”
By the looks on Saitou’s face, he's a little comforted by that fact.
“And you know this, Miyako?” Taishi asks.
“I've always been with him—especially when he wants to go out without people recognizing him.” Miyako shrugs as he pats Aqua’s head.
“Wow prodigy, you didn't even warn your mentor.”
“If my mentor was also fooled by my acting, then it's best not to tell my mentor.”
“I see, I felt the appreciation in the air.”
Miyako and Saitou chuckles as they watch the two of them bicker.
In the corner of Aqua’s eyes, he noticed Ai staring at Miyako with a sad look on her face.
He's about to ask his mama what's wrong when the opening of the play is suddenly starting.
Aqua lets it go after seeing Ai lighting up—obviously anticipating Ruby to appear.
When the show starts, the villagers talk among each other, it makes Aqua smile fondly at the villagers because so many of them are familiar faces.
Then Ruby appeared as she was letting down slowly from the ceiling.
Aqua watches.
Throughout the play, Ruby is amazing. He's not even exaggerating considering the fact her stage presence is so strong people can't help but follow her movement, every hopeful expression seems so genuine as if her feelings flow with the audience, and the way she carries herself so strongly with every new scene and her character’s progression, it's amazing.
Then the inevitable and slow breakdown appears, then to the end where the ending is bleak.
Somewhere where a sun with so much shine, I'll be there.
A shine where the world is too much, I'll smile for them.
Ruby’s character is trying to make her tone during this ending scene happy but it's clear there's no happiness in her character’s life.
It also makes the audience sob to see how Savior is trying despite every downfall she took.
My happiness is their happiness.
They’ll borrow my laughter, no uncanniness.
I'll bare my soul, no misshapenness.
Be with me, never sadness.
This is where Ruby's character obviously has her voice wobble through the melody but she still tries to keep up the facade by smiling in front of the audience.
There's a slight pause in the middle of the music as Savior is still smiling but her legs have no strength to stand up as she falls on the floor.
Silence descends as if the instruments in the background weren't there to begin with.
Over the sunshine, I'll be the joyful salvation.
Because the salvation you gave, the savior is within me.
This time, Ruby's character can't take it anymore as she sobs through the lyrics, but is able to manage to carry her voice in the weight of silence around the theater.
As the last sentence of the lyrics end, she eventually cries and wails.
The curtain closes.
What the hell? I thought this play had a hopeful ending?
Then people in the audience start clapping as he also hears the adults next to Aqua doing the same.
Ai even cries as she claps her hands.
Maybe Aqua also would've cried if it weren't for the fact he’s still worrying about Ruby’s mental health throughout the play.
But Aqua must admit, he's impressed.
She really has a talent in acting.
“Your sister is amazing.” Taishi whispers to Aqua.
The boy nods in agreement with him. “If Ruby wants to, she can be an actress.”
“If she wants to, that is.” Taishi mutters. Aqua gives him a curious glance.
“Aqua.” Ai smiles at him. “You and Miyako can go ahead and find Ruby on stage, she must be waiting.”
“Alright.” He agrees easily before he pauses. “What about you, mama?”
Ai winces as Saitou looks sheepish. Taishi looks away as if he's interrupting something private.
“I'm very sorry, Aqua.” Ai kneels down in front of him. “But I need to be more cautious now, I'm a bigger person than I was 2 years ago.”
He can't help but his heart bubbled in disappointment knowing this is Ruby’s big day despite understanding how hard to cope with this kind of situation.
Aqua hates their circumstances right now.
And knowing Ai, she also must find this difficult—To be a parent but not be able to celebrate their kid’s special day until much later when it's safe to celebrate it.
As Ai gets busier over the years, it becomes harder to be able to even hang out with her alone. Especially when they barely go out as family—practically nonexistent.
It reminds Aqua how in public, it's Miyako or Saitou with him, and not Ai. Paparazzi photos always have family photos of four people but not much of the real family of three.
It also reminds Aqua when he and Ruby were graduating in preschool or taking a picture on stage during the award ceremony as an actor… Ai is never with him, it's either Miyako or Saitou who's next to Aqua.
So Aqua hugs his mother. “It’s ok mama, me and Ruby understand.” And they do, they really do.
Ai hugs him tighter, kissing his blond hair.
As they hug each other, the stage lights up and all of the actors bow their heads.
***
“Aqua!” Ruby comes out from the dressing room.
He returns the hug his sister gives her.
“How was it?” Ruby asks once she lets go of Aqua. “Did I do great?”
“What do you mean great? You were amazing!”
Ruby visibly preens at the praise. Aqua snorts, maybe he worried for nothing after all.
Miyako joins them too as she congratulates Ruby for the wonderful performance.
Aqua shakes his head. “Maybe we should stop complimenting her, it's getting in her head.”
Ruby stuck his tongue to him. “I deserve it, and my head deserves every compliment.”
She's not exactly wrong. Ruby did great out there. If Ruby polished her acting more, she’ll be an amazing actress in the future.
Speaking of…
“Did you already decide about your future?” He asks in curiosity. “Do you want to become an actor like me?”
Surprisingly, Ruby shakes her head. “Actually, after this I'll quit acting altogether.”
“Wait, what?”
“Yeah…” Ruby sheepishly smiles. “After giving my all in this performance, I don't think this is for me.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep! Actually, I don't even know how you were able to do this kind of thing everyday, the mental toll in this is heavy.”
Yeah, it's quite heavy but nothing Aqua can handle.
He also enjoys acting too unlike Ruby who has other passions.
After that, they share some small talks, then there's a moment where Sana joins the conversation, Aqua sighs.
Sana is always random whenever in a conversation or when she pops out of nowhere.
“By the way, Sana.” Ruby goes to her. “I'm going to quit acting after this play.”
“Wait what?!”
Aqua lets them talk as Miyako gives Saitou a phone call.
Unsurprisingly, Ruby didn't ask where Ai is.
***
The five of them ate in the Hoshino house. They bought takeout from Ruby’s favorite place and talked about the play.
“Kid, I didn't know you had it in you.” Taishi ruffles Ruby’s hair, the girl puffs a breath as she tries to fix her hair.
“I do have an amazing mentor.” Ruby says.
“Are you complimenting me?” He arches a brow. “You do know I didn't do anything this time.”
“Well then, I'll paraphrase my statement,” Ruby says with a roll of her eyes but there's a teasing smile on her face. “I do have an amazing adviser.”
“Look at that,” Miyako comments. “Ruby hired a servant.”
“What do you mean servant? An adviser is not a servant.” Taishi rolls his eyes.
“You didn't know?” Ai blinks in surprise. “Adviser is also considered as a servant but with a title.”
“Wait, really?”
Saitou snickers at the shocked expression of Taishi.
Aqua snorts in amusement. Yep, they are definitely messing with the director.
“By the way, Ruby. I can't help but still say how amazing you were!” Ai excitedly says as Ruby shares her enthusiasm. “The way you act and sing? It's so incredible!”
The look on Ai’s face, she looks so proud.
Aqua can even see Ruby trying to hold back the tears in the corner of her eyes as she smiles through Ai’s sentences.
He smiles at the scene.
“Is Ruby going to be a fully fledged actress?” Saitou asks curiously. Taishi is also curious about the answer.
Aqua shakes his head. “No, apparently she’ll quit after the play.”
“What?”
Ai apparently also heard that as she smiles at Ruby. “Oh! I think I know where this is going.”
Ruby grins at them. “I'm going to become an idol!”
They all look surprised but Taishi nods in acceptance, Miyako clearly didn't expect that but she says it's not surprising, and Aqua is starting to imagine an idol Ruby.
His thoughts start to form an imagination…. if Ruby really wants to be an idol, she’ll be amazing at it.
“Huh.” Saitou says. “That was unexpected.”
Ai frowns. “Unexpected?”
“Well, I was thinking that Ruby could take over the company once I retired.” He sheepishly says.
Aqua gape as Ruby’s jaw drops. Ai is more shock than he ever saw her as Taishi keeps eating.
Miyako looks sheepish as she glances at Ruby. “I'm sorry if we dropped this on you.”
“It's fine!” She exclaims. “Why me though? The more suitable of that role is…” She glances at Aqua’s direction.
Then it clicked.
Nope, nope, nope, nope. I'm really glad Miyako and Saitou talked to Aqua about this or else Ruby will get another idea…
Aqua is definitely not interested in running another family business. One lifetime is already enough. Thank you very much.
He makes an x sign with his arms. “I'll never do it.” He then glances at Ruby. “It's obvious why they chose you when you're always hanging on Saitou's arms like a leach.”
Ruby smacks him for that.
“Children, please.” Ai sighs like a tired mom, and she is. “No violence on the table and no talking if your mouth is full.”
“Yes, mama.”
Taishi is still eating and also watching the family as if he's in a sitcom, or maybe he is.
“Wait a minute.” Ruby swivels her head to Saitou and Miyako. “Why don't both of you just make a baby?”
The couple sputters as Taishi coughs. This time it's Ai who looks amused.
Perfect question in Aqua’s opinion.
“Both of you are in your 30’s.” Aqua says in a serious tone but eyes glinting in mischief. “Do it now or else your fertility will decline as you age.”
Taishi and Ai laugh even harder as the couple becomes crimson red.
Wow, Miyako and Saitou act like teenagers.
Seriously, what started the romance—or the sudden marriage between them?
In the end, Saitou explains even if he and Miyako have children, he still wants Ruby to be his heir.
Ruby is a family, after all. That's what they said.
Suffice to say, Ruby couldn't hold back her happy tears any longer.
Chapter 18: Book 1: Vengeance from the Deaths
Summary:
So she sighs. “About you.”
“Me? Why?” Aqua asks in disbelief before his face twists into a scowl. “Is this about people judging me for playing the role of Gakano and Takagi?”
“Yeah…”
“I really don't care about that.” He mutters but his tone says otherwise. “I'm going to prove them wrong…”
“Perfectionist.” Ruby comments but there's fondness in her voice. “Then, I'll do my work by commenting on who opposes you. I'll be back a year later to bash them after they see how amazing you are as twins.”
“Your pettiness is unbelievable.”.
Chapter Text
Vengeance From The Deaths spin off cast reveals
By TGO
Vengeance From The Deaths, a well-known novel, has become an enormous global success. When the first movie came out seven years ago, it became even more well-known than ever.
In this story, a young, wealthy girl named Akiko Fujimoto seeks revenge for the murder of her family, who were murdered by an enigmatic teenager who allowed Akiko to survive the horrific event. Following the most recent film, Kyoko Mogami, a 22-year-old actress who plays the lead role Akiko, thanked everyone for continuing to support the franchise.
Author Violet Evergarden made the decision to produce a follow-up novel about the adored Gakano and Takagi twins as the series' popularity soared. As those who are not aware, Takagi is a close friend of Akiko and a beloved figure among the audience, whereas Gakano is the popular well written antagonist that the readers find both endearing and irritating.
It's rather unexpected that Hoshino Aqua from Detective Conan was chosen to play the twins. When the spin-off movie was revealed, fans were already losing hope, but the announcement of Hoshino... Read more
***
Hoshino Aqua as both Gakano and Takagi from Vengeance from the deaths.
So… guys what do you think about this? I honestly don't know what to feel. On one hand, Hoshino is an amazing child actor. On the other hand, the twins are hard to portray, especially Gakano.
↟ 768 ↡ 💬 Reply
Random_person7011
I agree with you OP. Sure, he has promising skills but this is too much for Hoshino. Honestly, why is there even an adaptation of the spin offs…
↟ 877 ↡ 💬 Reply
Mobbing_da_mob
Let's just wait for the trailer, we should
make our judgment after that.
↟ 508 ↡ 💬 Reply
DetectiveConanFan0923
Despite seeing Hoshino’s past
works, I'm still in doubt if he can do
this.
↟ 311 ↡ 💬 Reply
GakanoMassiveSimp
This. Why do we have a movie of this
spin off. People should just read the
novel, more worth it.
↟ 400 ↡ 💬 Reply
AkikoMy_vabe
I love Aqua but the aura isn't there.
↟ 555 ↡ 💬 Reply
Revenge_Vengeancw
Maybe it's for the best Hoshino
would be the one to play the twins.
I’d rather have a veteran child actor
than a newbie.
↟ 207 ↡ 💬 Reply
VOD_casualfan
Little bro doesn't know there's
some underrated child actors who
exists
↟ 95 ↡ 💬 Reply
AkiraKayano_love
Loid Forger would cry if he sees his son from another timeline will be his child counterpart.
↟ 421 ↡ 💬 Reply
LoidForgerSimp_1111
Lmao what are u talking about?
↟ 68 ↡ 💬 Reply
Trolling_the_troll
Checks out the profile name. Yet
you don't even know his other
movie with Hoshino Aqua?
LMFAO
↟ 107 ↡ 💬 Reply
Die_or_perish
This movie will get butchered either way.
↟ 307 ↡ 💬 Reply
Bitch_sensei
Whatever kind of announcement the franchise has, people still find something to complain about
↟ 263 ↡ 💬 Reply
***
BIUA
@FundSource
Vengeance of the death reveals the child actor who is going to play as Gakano and Takagi
[Attached image]
296 replies 3k retweets 50k hearts
Arima Fan
@some_viewer
It's either Hoshino will do a great job in this or it will flop.
2 replies 1k retweets 5k hearts
Detective Conan superfan
@Ran_pls_run
I hope it won't flop or else Aqua will be
blamed by majority of this toxic
fanbase
1 replies 309 retweets 499 hearts
VOD Reader
@TakagiOneChance
We're fucked. This kid doesn't have the aura of the twins.
6 replies 221 retweets 333 hearts
Fan of Mr Forger
@Loid_hot
Am I the only one who's excited with this adaptation? I have full faith in Aqua.
10 replies 200 retweets 250 hearts
Maria Clerk
@Lurker_the_commentor
Just looking at this child actor, my
brain makes me think of Conan. I'm
I'm afraid this kid needs to do
full-blown acting to make me forget
his previous role.
1 replies 35 retweets 60 hearts
Daniel Margaret
@Twinnie_Dorian
Ohmygosh Same thoughts!
0 replies 20 retweets 10 hearts
Jess the Kaito
@clown_the_magician
Buckle up everyone, this will be a cringefest movie
1 replies 300 retweets 489 hearts
***
“They don't have any idea what they are talking about!” Ruby mutters angrily as she types her argument to the person she's countering on Reddit. “Aqua is going to do great, haters are just going to hate.”
“Are you on twitter right now?”
Ruby shrieks away from Aqua who just appeared out of nowhere as he sits next to her on the couch.
Aqua arches a brow before his gaze falls on Ruby’s phone, she abruptly pulls her phone away.
She clears her throat. “I can't go on twitter so Reddit suffices.”
“Um, why?”
“I got banned.”
“I'm not surprised.” He says, as his tone shifts with something more amused. “Why did you get banned? Were you fighting mama’s hater?”
“Yep!” Ruby proudly says. “Despite being banned, I won by the way.”
“Nice.” Aqua nods genuinely before he looks over at Ruby’s hands. “So who are you arguing this time on the internet?”
For a moment, Ruby is reluctant to say something but she knows her brother by the back of her hand.
He’ll go through lengths to satisfy his curiosity if he's really curious about something.
So she sighs. “About you.”
“Me? Why?” He asks in disbelief before his face twists into a scowl. “Is this about people judging me for playing the role of Gakano and Takagi?”
“Yeah…”
“I really don't care about that.” He mutters but his tone says otherwise. “I'm going to prove them wrong…”
“Perfectionist.” Ruby comments but there's fondness in her voice. “Then, I'll do my work by commenting on who opposes you. I'll be back a year later to bash them after they see how amazing you are as twins.”
“Your pettiness is unbelievable.”
“I recommend you to try it,” She grins mischievously. “The validation always makes me feel like a new person.”
“What an enlightening comment.”
“I know!”
Aqua rolls his eyes as he bounces to another topic. “Mama is busy producing another album, huh?”
Ruby nods, “Last time I saw her in the studio, she's passionate about it.”
“Passionate?” He questions. “I bet that would be another global hit.”
“I hope so.” She happily sighs. “It makes my heart full seeing my Idol's success.”
As she says that, she sees in the corner of her eyes that Aqua is frowning at her before he shakes out the expression.
What was that?
“Do you want to cook with me?” He asks. “Maybe just fry? Our body is still small.”
“Why don't we just ask mama to cook for us?” She frowns. “It’s going to be dinner time soon.”
“Nah, just let her be.” Aqua says with a shrug. “I want to let her know that she can focus on being an idol and we can handle ourselves.”
“...I guess.” Ruby relents as Aqua smiles knowing he now has her by his side. “Let's just fry the food faster before her alarm clock goes off.”
Mama has an alarm clock for breakfast, lunch and dinner because sometimes she gets lost in her head in her studio. So after the first time she almost missed lunch—Aqua was the one who let her know it's lunch time and the food from yesterday is already gone—Ai decided to have an alarm clock for these kinds of things.
They both get to work to fry Tonkatsu—or well Aqua is the one who does most of the job while Ruby cheers from the sidelines.
Aqua banned Ruby from entering inside the kitchen because she almost messed up the tonkatsu and rice.
So now Ruby is watching far away from him, cheering from the side like a fan to their idol.
Just in time, Aqua turns off the gas Ai comes out from her studio.
She blinks in surprise when she sees a tonkatsu on the table.
“We made that, mama.” Ruby exclaims.
Aqua frowns at his twin. “You did not help me.”
“I did.” She crosses her arms. “I was supporting you emotionally throughout the whole ordeal.”
Before Aqua can reply to her and before Ruby can get ready to retort, there's a gentle hand on the top of each head.
“Thank you,” She warmly says but there's something sad in her tone. “Let's eat.”
The twins sat next to each other, their mama sits right in front of them. As they quietly eat, Ruby couldn't shake the feeling there's something wrong with her mama. Glancing at Aqua, the boy doesn't indicate the same worries. Then again, Aqua is an actor.
She doesn't know how to broach this topic if her worries are just her imagination.
She’ll just talk about something else.
“Hey mama, how’s the production?” Ruby enthusiastically asks like she usually does when it comes to producing the B-Komachi’s album. “Did Ari and the others send you something that motivated you?”
Ai smiles at her. “It's doing fine, thanks to the others.”
Ruby blinks. Her mother is not as enthusiastic as she previously thought.
Before she can think of a reply, Ai puts her utensils down. “Aqua, Ruby.”
Their attention instantly went to their mother, she sees Ai hesitating at first before she sighs out loud.
“I think this album will be the last album of B-Komachi.”
Both of them try to process what she just said and what she just implied.
And then the conclusion hits her.
“What?!” Ruby is the first one who exclaims. “Why?!”
At the same time, Aqua is quiet as he expectantly looks at Ai.
Ai gives them a bitter smile. “Since becoming a popular idol, there are some special occasions that both of you are a part of. I can't even go to those events because I'm keeping the two of you my secret.” She then smiles comfortingly at Ruby. “Don't worry, Ruby, you can still be an idol and we can still be on the same stage someday.”
Aqua just gives Ruby a curious glance before glancing back at their mother.
“But mama…” Ruby frowns sadly. “You love being an idol.”
Her mother blinks at that before she lets out a small laugh. “You two are more important than that.”
Selfishly, Ruby doesn't want Ai to retire because she loves her mama as an idol.
Ruby takes a glance at Aqua for help but her brother is not even looking at her as Aqua is staring at Ai.
Then, Aqua speaks. “Are you going to retire after the tour for this last album?”
Wait, is Aqua accepting it?! Just like that??
As if Aqua can hear her thought, he grabs Ruby’s hands under the table in comfort before letting it go.
Her shoulder slumps.
How come he accepted this easily?
Coming to reality, Ai replies to Aqua’s question. “Not exactly.” She says. “After the movie was released, that's where I'll retire and I'll lay low for a few years.” Ai smiles at both of them. “I don't want both of your careers to end just because of me.”
Right. At the peak of mama’s career, it's expected many fans would be outraged if they learned the truth about their mama, it would also affect Aqua, especially at this time when Vengeance from the deaths cast is revealed.
But wait, what movie?!
“What movie?” Aqua questions.
Ai sheepishly smiles. “It was supposed to be a documentary but Taishi and I changed it to a movie.” She grins at them. “I'm going to act one last time!”
Aqua’s eyes sparkle despite the fact he's trying to contain the split smile on his face.
Ruby rolls her eyes at this. When it comes to acting, he’ll be the most enthusiastic about it.
After that, all of them resumed talking about other topics and ate peacefully.
Aqua decides to wash the dishes this time and Ai lets her but not without supervising her son.
Not wanting to part yet with her mother, Ruby stayed with her. They both delved from one topic to another until they talked about fans.
“When you become an idol, people will give you gifts, Ruby.” Ai says. “But be careful because sometimes they give you some teddy bear with a camera on it.”
“That happens?!” Ruby squawks out in disbelief.
“Are you ok, mama?!” Aqua’s neck whirls around to Ai, still holding the plates.
She gives them both an amused chuckle. “I'm fine. Thankfully, someone I used to know was able to detect something like that.” She pats Ruby’s head. “Don't worry, I was 15 at that time so I reported it on Saitou.”
Ruby nods, she's glad mama was able to protect her privacy.
But she becomes more curious about this person who helps her mother to detect something like that.
“Sadly, I can't receive anymore teddy bears.” She sighs sadly.
“If you want a teddy bear, mama, I'll buy it for you.” Aqua suddenly says.
Ai laughs. “Thank you, Aqua.”
Aqua is a mama’s boy, nobody can change Ruby’s mind.
“So what about some gifts that don't endanger your privacy?” Ruby cuts in, curiosity seeping in her eyes.
“Although I believe you have already seen it, the gifts are used as decorations throughout the house.” At Ruby’s nod, Ai continues. “When I received one in my early days, I was so happy! Where did I put it—oh!”
Ruby watches Ai rush out from the kitchen then a moment after, she comes back with stardust in her hands.
“This was the second gift I received!” Ai looks at the stardust fondly. “I'll be forever grateful for their support. I hope they are still my fans…”
“I’m sure they are still your fans, mama.” She has no doubt about that.
“Second gift?” Aqua murmurs out, diligently still doing his work.
“Yep! I have the very first one.” Ai turns to sadness. “The thing is, I forgot to ask her name especially when she really helped me but years ago I found out her name.”
“What's her name?” Ruby says curiously.
“Sarina Tendouji.”
Ruby's eyes widen as she hears Aqua stops washing the dishes. She stares at her mother while Ai continues solemnly.
“I only found out she died years ago from a doctor—”
“Ah, mama!” Ruby grabs the stardust. “Teach me how to mess with this!”
Ai accepts the change of subject graciously.
Shit, Ruby panicked there.
She doesn't know but at that moment, it feels like their mother knows something. Or maybe it's just her imagination…
Both Ai and Ruby mess up the glittering stuff as they play with it, but careful enough not to break it.
When Aqua finishes washing the dishes, he also takes a glance at the star dust but with a small interest before moving on.
The family decides to watch together the latest episodes of Detective Conan they missed. Ruby must admit that Aqua looks natural as Conan, then again this is a perfect role for Aqua.
When they were about to go to bed, Ruby grabbed Aqua’s hands and clenched her hands through Ai’s t-shirt, not wanting to let her go.
Ai gives her a concerned glance. “What's wrong, Ruby?”
Aqua also looks at her in concern.
The thing is, mama retiring shaken her greatly.
As a person who admired Ai from both past and present life, she doesn't want to let go of this shining star who gave her hope.
But Ruby is also relieved, maybe because this means she will finally have Ai as a mother to herself and to Aqua. No fans and no work, just them as a family.
But…
… This is confusing.
There's too many mixed emotions inside her heart.
“Mama,” Her eyes turned to pleading. “Can me and Aqua sleep in your room? Just today?”
Aqua looks like he was about to protest but Ai suddenly cut in.
“Of course!” She grins, obviously enormously happy at this development. “C'mon, let's do it!”
Heh, Aqua can't afford to be able to reject the offer by the pout from his face. Ruby softly snorts.
Although Aqua looks at Ruby in concern. Ruby looks away or else Aqua would figured out her problem.
They entered Ai’s room, not the first time though. Much to the space of the room, it's only a simple bed, nightstand, loveseat and table. But on the wall, there's a group poster of B-Komachi from their earlier career—14 years old. At the same time, in the nightstand, there's a picture of Aqua and Ruby as 3 years old with Ai smiling in the center.
The three of them lay on the bed. Both twins want Ai to be the center so their mother relents. Aqua is on the left, and Ruby is on the right. The three of them cuddle each other.
As Ruby realized she can't sleep in this engulfed silence around the room, Aqua suddenly speaks.
“Mama.”
“Yes?”
“... Sing for us?”
Even though she can't see Aqua’s expression or mom’s, Ruby can imagine her brother was flustered while her mother just smiles at him.
“Sure.”
Ai begins to sing softly, it's one of her songs that is slow but hopeful.
If I can give you my world, I would.
If you’ll ask, I'll do it.
So I beg you to let our world crush.
And maybe this time, we would've made it.
It's a chance that we’ll make it.
As Ruby becomes lulled by her mother’s melody and low vocal, her eyes decide to rest.
Before the darkness overcomes her, there's one last thought she had.
Maybe this is the Ai she wants.
It's enough for Ruby.
***
There's one last thing Sarina wanted to do before she died.
“Sensei… This is…” Sarina clutched the keychain in her hands, as she reached it towards the doctor. “For you…”
Gorou gently grabbed Sarina's hands, the keychain is between their palms.
“I never told you… but I went to a B-Komachi’s convert once…” Sarina smiled, her eyes became foggy, remembering the interaction she had with Ai. “That keychain… it was a prototype… “
“Prototype?” Gorou murmured out, but Sarina could hear the doctor choking up his words.
“Yes,” Sarina continued. “But it was… never released… so that's one in a… million type…”
“Got it. I'll definitely take care of it.”
Sarina watched as Gorou gave her a heartbreaking smile. She doesn't like seeing his doctor like that, Sarina wanted Gorou to keep smiling at her like it's nothing wrong.
But Sarina knows sensei has limits.
Well, Sarina was going to die either way. Of course the doctor is going to cry.
Stupid of Sarina not to think of that.
But… It's nice.
For someone to look out for you, and care for you.
Sarina grinned, even though it's too painful to express happiness, she’ll do it to the person who gave Sarina a light and happiness.
“I love you, sensei.” Sarina softly said as she reached out to Gorou, “If I ever reborn… I'm sure…”
Gorou held Sarina's hands, forehead pressed on Sarina's knuckles as if begging not to go yet.
She bitterly smiled.
***
Gorou’s body… has not been found.
If Aqua is being honest, he isn't particularly attached to his past life, maybe that's one of the reasons why Aqua has a literal separate Gorou inside him.
When he first search if Gorou’s body was found years ago, Aqua is just curious.
At first, he was worried about the person who murdered Gorou—who Aqua presumed as Ai’s stalker—but as years went by, nothing dangerous happened.
Right now, Aqua just wants to know what happened to his previous body considering the fact there's a new development with his reincarnation.
“Aqua?”
He turns off his phone as he glances at Mai questionly.
Mai smiles at him as she gestures her hand over to the big crowd within their distance. “We’re being called for the pictures.”
“Right.” Aqua follows Mai as they go over to the staff members and actors.
It's the last day of the Detective Conan shooting.
Many actors and actresses hugged Aqua after the shooting, some of them are even emotional, especially Cayenne and even Mai is trying to contain herself.
But if Aqua thinks about it, Aqua can understand why even some adult cast members are crying. It's almost 3 years since the start of Detective Conan, and now it's finally ending.
Well, at least the live action is finally ending, Aqua doesn't know about the manga though.
Taking a glance at some staff members, Aqua can see they are sighing in relief.
He almost snorts in the hilarity of the situation, Aqua can understand the relief considering the fact 3 years is too much to shoot for 3 seasons.
Also, They are really lucky to have Aqua as Conan or else the person who could've taken Aqua’s place will surely have their grades suffer in school.
“What are you going to do after this, Aqua?” Cayenne asks once they are alone together while Mai is talking with some adult actors.
“I'm going to shoot the Vengeance from the dead next week.”
“What?!”
As Aqua’s judgemental gaze at the blue hair’s outrage, he cut Aqua a look. “Aqua, you're bouncing from work to another, I'm worried for you.”
His gaze softens. “Don't worry, Cayenne.” He pats him on the shoulder. “I can handle it.”
“What are you both talking about?”
They both squawk as they whirl around to face Mai who arches a brow at them.
Aqua’s cheeks turn to crimson but not as deep crimson as Cayenne.
He clears his throat. “We’re talking about what I'll do next?”
“Um, resting?” Mai says as if obvious.
Cayenne snorts. “Nope, he’ll shoot the Vengeance from the deaths next week.”
The look on Mai’s face is pure disbelief and almost resigned, it almost made Aqua feel bare. This is Mai they are talking about who tries to keep her judgmental to herself, after all.
“I'm not really surprised.” She sighs. “It's Aqua. A workaholic.”
His blue hair friend gives a grim nod. Aqua rolls his eyes.
“What about both of you?” Aqua asks.
“Obviously I'm going to rest, even my mother wants me to.”
“Duh. Resting.”
When Aqua sees Cayenne being out of character by acting like this, it feels like watching your child grow up being rebellious.
Aqua pinches Cayenne’s nose, meanwhile Mai gets out of Aqua’s way. The only thing the blonde get to do is stick his tongue out to Mai’s direction.
Suddenly, there's a familiar male cameraman who cuts in between the three.
“Aqua, your mother and sister are here.” He says.
Aqua nods at the adult, the man then leaves as Aqua glances back to Mai and Cayenne. Miyako and Ruby are here, he knows it's time to leave.
“That's my cue.” Aqua gives them a small smile. “You two, don't be a stranger.”
Mai rolls her eyes but she gives a hug to Aqua. “I'm the one who should be telling you that.”
Cayenne then joins the hug. “I'm the one who should be telling you both that.”
Seriously, Aqua and Mai is such a bad influence on Cayenne.
***
Aqua enters the familiar van.
His eyes widen of what he sees—no—of who Aqua is seeing right now.
Heart beating and an indecipherable warmth crush in his entire being for her to just be here.
He immediately hugs his mother as Ai grins down at him.
“I thought you're in work.” Aqua says once they are able to let go of each other. “You're still getting ready for the new album, right?”
Not to mention, her mother announced to the world she's going to retire so the strawberry production is getting ready for Ai’s retirement to be a blast.
Ai gently pats his head. “Saitou actually lets me have this.” She grins at him, obviously happy at this moment. “Apparently I'm safe to be on my own now when it comes to this.”
Or Saitou is becoming softie.
But Aqua can understand Saitou's worries considering the fact Ai is at the peak of her career.
So Saitou letting Ai and Aqua have this is huge.
“But Aqua,” Ai gives him a look. “I heard you’re going to shoot the Vengeance from the dead next week. Do I have to say something to Taishi?”
Aqua swallows as a nervous laughter bubbles up out of his throat. “I actually agreed with the schedule too.” He sent a silent prayer to Saitou. “And the president too.”
Ai is quiet.
Behind her, Aqua just saw Ruby—trying to cover her laughter because she loves Aqua's misery.
At the same time, Miyako ignores them. He knows it's because Miyako agrees with Ai on this.
Time to explain this.
Suffice to say, he was reprimanded that it's important to rest but Ai still support Aqua’s decision nonetheless.
Then Aqua got sick.
How fun, he sarcastically huff.
***
“Are you really sure people are not complaining about me not attending the script reading?” Aqua called Ichigo on the phone after he became well again.
“Well, there are some people who would complain.”
Aqua groans as he rolls in his bed. “They would think I'm a spoiled kid!”
The president of the Strawberry production—has the audacity to laugh—like a bastard he is.
“Hey, you're my dad! Give me support.”
“Eh, you rat me out to Ai.”
“... Did you get scolded heavily?”
“... I unfortunately did.”
Aqua grimaces. They should've expected that but he knows very well the blame lies on Ichigo because that guy is an adult while Aqua is still a child.
“Anyway, don’t worry, Aqua.” Ichigo softly says. “Once they see your talent, they'll be silent.”
“But what if what I'm doing is not enough for them?” Aqua hugged the pillow near him.
“Then I'll sue them. Easy.”
This guy? Suing for Aqua. That's a development.
“That would ruin your reputation.”
“And you're like my own kid, Aqua. I'll definitely do it.” By the tone of Ichigo’s voice, the old man is determined to do it.
Something warm bubbled up in his stomach.
“Then, I don't have any more complaints.”
“Oh and Aqua?”
“Yes?”
“Slaughter them with your acting.”
Aqua starts to grin.
***
Amachi Shinichi wasn't expecting much for the Vengeance from the dead spin offs.
He's here just for the money.
And it's not like he wants to be here. Being affiliated with the main movie causes him to be here.
So really, he wasn't expecting much, especially when the main actor couldn't attend for the script reading.
Although Shinichi heard from the director Gotanda the reason Hoshino Aqua wasn't there is because he caught a cold.
He doesn't know if he can believe that knowing some child actors is so privileged to think they are already talented, so they don't need to visit script reading. So yeah, Shinichi hates brats.
Then the first shoot began in the shrine.
“Hello, Mr. Hoshino.” Shinichi is the one who first greeted the late young blonde. “I'm Amachi Shinichi, the producer.”
Aqua’s eyes widen before he bows. “I’ll be in your care then, sir.”
His eyebrow rose. So this kid has some manners, huh? Good to know.
As if that was their cue, everyone greets Aqua.
They are fortunate Aqua is a polite kid, he can see some staff looking relieved by that.
When Ren Tamaki starts to introduce herself to Aqua, the producer goes to Gotanda.
“I'm still questioning why Ren Tamaki is here.” Gotanda says. “She's too young to be Tachibana—the twins’ mother.”
“The makeup will do the magic.” Shinichi offhandedly replies. “Also, you and I both know we need more people to watch this movie, having Ren Tamakii is a good move.”
Gotanda becomes quiet, not relenting about this further.
“Anyway,” He changes the subject. “Is Hoshino going to be ok with how out of order we are going to film this?”
The director grins. “That's a piece of cake for Aqua.”
Shinichi doubts that statement but what happens, happens.
After an hour of preparation for Aqua, they set their own position.
The scene Aqua is going to shoot is in the middle of the film where there's a ritual or some sort, and conflict between the mother and Takagi. Then Gakano would be the one to comfort their mother, and run to his brother to do the same thing.
Why are they shooting that instead of the first scenes? They are barely able to book the shrine for a day, so they honestly need to do this fast. This is a shrine surrounded by trees but it's also a popular place for tourists.
“Action!”
Ren Tamaki and Hoshino Aqua scan the shrine, while Hoshino Aqua’s stand-in for some shot—Reon Kugisaki from Jewelpet production—is next to Hoshino.
As of now, Aqua is acting as Gakano.
“Mother, are we doing the ritual here?” Gakano asks as his hands wrap around his mother, smiling softly at their hands.
“Yes.” Tachibana smiles softly at her son but she subconsciously clenches her two sons' hands. Gakano’s smile didn't falter.
Shinichi is kinda impressed because it's obvious Ren Tamaki gives too much power during that hand scene.
Gotanda watches as there's a pause, this would be where Takagi is going to talk.
The producer takes a glance at Gotanda, waiting for the cut.
When Gotanda is about to shout the cut, Hoshino then moves.
“What? Are you scared?” Gakano asks his stand-in, giving him a teasing smile.
Shinichi’s eyes widened, that should be their next scene. That brat—! If he's going this far, he should've talked to them about this because camera angles and mic needs to be adjusted and—
Wait.
Scanning everyone, Shinichi starts seeing what Hoshino is doing.
Gakano laughs at what Takagi would've said, even his laughs are humble as how he speaks like Gakano is in the main movies, “Don't worry, I'll protect you too!” Then his eyes soften to his mother. “I'm also going to protect mother.”
Tachibana just smiles, more uneasy than heartfelt.
Shinichi sees Aqua trying to move where it's easy for the cameras to catch his movements, same with mic who can catch his voice. When Aqua moves, it’s easy to follow the movements, and if they were walking while holding hands, he’s dragging Ren a little in his feet not only to come closer where the mic and camera is but to also show what Gakano feels.
“Cut!”
Immediately, the staff goes to the two actors, putting the make-up on their face for the next scene but with Aqua as Takagi.
“Damn, kid.” Tamaki grins at Hoshino. “I didn't know you had it in you.”
“It seems like it's a trend everyone underestimates me.” He casually says with a shrug, going back to his monotone face.
Those words feel like a jab to everyone, Shinichi sees some cameraman winces.
Gotanda laughs. “I knew he's going to do amazing, but not this much.”
Both of them are not farther away from Tamaki and Hoshino but they are not within hearing distance either, the two of them were also occupied with each other, so it's a surprise when Aqua smirks smugly at Gotanda. The director just grins back at the kid.
Huh. They are familiar with each other.
But also…
That kid has high spatial awareness based on his acting earlier and with Gotanda.
Or maybe Shinichi is just reaching.
The next scene starts with Hoshino as Takagi. The actor did a good job to deliver the lines to reply to Gakano such as:
“This shrine seems like it came from a horror movie.” Takagi mutters darkly.
“Don't worry, it's just a really old shrine so it seems scary.” Tachiba replies.
Then;
“I'm not scared!” Takagi gives him a stinky glare.
And so on.
The shooting continues and Shinichi’s expectations for this movie skyrocket.
And the final scene for this day;
“Can you just hear me out, Takagi?” His mother says worriedly but Takagi is not having it as he slaps his arms away.
“Are you hearing yourself, mom?!” Takagi exclaims. “You've become their bitch left and right because you're scared about what they’ll do to you, then what about us, huh?!” He backs away slowly from his mother as if Tachibana is someone to be wary of. “We're just being used like cattle because those elders want strong users like us!”
“Takagi—!”
“Mom, I love you but you're a failure as our mom.” His widen eyes look manic, mixed with disgust and sorrow.
Then Takagi runs.
And—
“Cut!”
There's silence descended upon the people.
Hoshino slowly goes back to them, looking at his usual self.
“Did I make a mistake?”
The kid is slowly getting self conscious, fortunately Tamaki is the first one to snap out of her thoughts as she gently slaps Aqua in the back.
“Kid, it was amazing.”
Then numerous people send their compliments to him. Aqua nods, relief palpable in his body despite the way his shoulder tenses slightly.
What the hell…?
That's still one of Shinichi’s thoughts as they get ready for Gakano’s acting.
“Mother.” Gakano grabs his mother’s hands. “I'll talk with Takagi, you can just wait for us in the car.” He gives him a comforting smile.
His mother sniffs. “Thank you, Gakano.”
They hugged each other, Gakano accepted the hug but not without looking at the direction his twin ran off to.
Then, the twins talk.
***
It’s in the middle of the night when Shinichi snaps out of his thoughts and requests for Gotanda to send the scene earlier—a scene when the twins talk.
Although Gotanda is wary about Shinichi, he still sends the edited scene of Gakano and Shinichi. Perks of being the producer for this movie.
He clicks the video to play.
“You run off just like that.” Gakano idly says to the Takagi who's sitting on some large rock.
“Pissed off.” Takagi snarls as he looks away from him.
Gakano sighs. “You have to apologize to mother.”
Takagi gives him a glare. “Did what I just said was wrong?”
“Not exactly wrong…” Gakano kneels in front of Takagi. “But we have to play the long game here.”
His twin frowns in confusion before his mouth twisted to disgust. “Don't tell me you…”
Gakano just gives him a peaceful smile, but there's a dark glint in his eyes that can scare everyone. “We’ll strike once the opportunity comes.” There's a dark chuckle he lets out of his throat. “They won't know what is coming.”
Takagi sighs, letting Gakano grabs his arms and pulls him closer. Gakano is a touchy person in nature after all.
“And they said I'm the devil and you're the angel.” Takagi mumbles.
Gakano is caught off guard a little, then he gives him a soft smile. “Don't worry brother, we’ll be the two demons. The two demons that heaven and hell will shame upon.”
Despite his soft smile, relaxed posture as he hugs Takagi, and calm intone of his voice, there's some eerily of what he said.
It's terrifying.
The scene ends.
Shinichi laughs and laughs.
He can't believe there's anyone who would surpass Arisa Hoshi or even that person.
Hoshino Aqua.
I'm sorry, I underestimated you.
Shinichi grins.
This child is the real prodigy, and he can even see his potential in much higher places.
Chapter 19: Book 1: Hoshino Ai, part one
Summary:
“Happy birthday, Mama!” Ruby and Aqua shout in unison.
Before Ai can respond, they immediately dash into their separate rooms, whispering furiously to each other like co-conspirators in a spy movie. A moment later, they return, arms filled with carefully wrapped gifts, their expressions nearly bursting with anticipation.
Ai eyes them warily, amused, and slowly accepts the presents. Her children are beaming, practically vibrating from excitement.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
After Aqua and Ruby’s birthday, Ai sat with them on the penthouse balcony, stargazing under the night sky.
The three of them had decided to hang out there, watching the stars in comfortable silence. At one point, Ai pointed toward the brightest light above.
“That one,” she said. “The brightest star in the whole sky.”
Aqua tilted his head, squinting. “That’s not a star. It’s a planet.”
Ai let out a sheepish laugh, embarrassed by the mistake. Ruby nudged Aqua with a pinch to his side, Aqua also looked sheepish.
“So what?” she softly said. “It’s still the brightest thing up there. That’s what matters.”
Something about that made Ai pause. An idea floated to the surface.
“Let’s pretend it’s a star, okay?” she said softly.
Aqua and Ruby nodded without hesitation.
But Ai lingered on the words she’d just spoken.
Pretend to be the star, huh?
Her smile didn’t fade, not even as her thoughts drifted. It stayed gentle, wistful.
How fitting, she thought.
***
It’s been months since filming began for The Vengeance From the Deaths, and Ai still doesn’t know whether to be worried or impressed with her son.
“If I’m being honest with you, Ai,” Taishi says during his break, stretching his arms, “your son’s a real prodigy. You only see that kind of talent once in a billion years.”
These days, Ai and Taishi rarely get the chance to meet—he’s busy directing the movie, after all. But today, they manage to catch up. While Taishi works at his computer, Ai wanders over to the shelves lining his office, scanning the DVDs and Blu-rays from his past projects.
Her eyes pause on one title—the name of her children’s father on the cover.
Ai moves on quickly.
She’s here for two reasons: to ask about her own upcoming film, and to check in on her son’s progress.
“Really?” she blinks at him, then hums with amusement. “And here I thought I was the once-in-a-million-years genius.”
“You are,” Taishi replies without hesitation. “But your kids? They’re on a whole other level. It’s scary, honestly.”
Warmth rises in Ai’s chest, soft and proud. Her babies.
It amazes her how Aqua manages to balance school and acting so flawlessly. Despite being absent more often than not, he still tops his class—and now, apparently, he’s a genius on set, too?
Ai grins. “Do you think Ruby’s going to surpass me at this rate?”
“Definitely.”
She gasps, feigning offense. “Wow, Director. No faith in me?”
Taishi just rolls his eyes.
Ai laughs and leans back. “You know… I can’t wait to see what kind of adults they’ll become.”
“Me too, Ai,” Taishi says softly. “Me too.”
For a moment, they share a quiet, comforting silence.
Then Ai turns slightly toward him. “About my movie, Taishi—”
***
When B-Komachi released their new album, the internet erupted.
Ai isn’t with the other members during the launch—not this time. It’s better this way, after everything that’s happened.
They didn’t take her decision to retire well.
Shockingly, the only one who took it with grace was Saitou. He accepted it quietly, even gently, like he understood this was something Ai needed for herself.
Ai sits in her living room, scrolling through the flood of online reactions. The trolls are loud, as expected, but she’s learned to tune them out. What matters more are the fans who are cheering her on, celebrating her final chapter.
She produced this album with the other B-Komachi members, but most of the lyrics came from her. Every word, every melody—laced with pieces of her that no one really knows.
If they knew her biggest secret, they’d know exactly who each song is for.
If that person listened to B-komachi's new and last album…
He’d listen and pick up on the things no one else could. He’d know which lines are lullabies in disguise, which verses carry the weight of regrets Ai never dared speak out loud.
As she switches apps, Ai notes how many people are surprisingly supportive of her retirement. Some even say it’s time, because she's nearing thirty, as if that number signals the end of worth in the industry. A younger Ai would’ve clenched her jaw, called Saitou in a panic, and begged him to scrap everything.
But that version of Ai doesn’t exist anymore.
She’s not the idol who clung to perfection to be loved. She’s not the girl who believed she had to earn affection by being adored.
She’s a mother now.
And she’s tired.
But most of all, she’s honest with herself, at least. Or trying to be.
The thing was, there was one person who always loved everything about her. Whether the mask she wore, or the face of a person who can show her real self.
Despite the ugly things Ai did…
He always said he loved that about her. That she could lie with a smile but still somehow be painfully real with him.
Should she call him?
The thought lingers like a slow ache.
The children always said they were fine without a father. They never pressed her. But they deserved to know who he was. They deserved the truth. She’s held onto that name, that story, for far too long.
Then again… knowing Aqua—and Ruby, who never hesitates to act—they’ve probably already figured it out. Or drawn conclusions. Ai’s sure of that.
And Ai was sure that her children drew a wrong conclusion about their father.
I’m scared of what they’ll do if they find out the truth.
But it’s been ten years. Maybe… maybe now is the time.
Her thumb hovers for only a second before she presses the number.
It rings.
Ai’s breath catches when it connects.
It’s still his number. After all these years.
She stares at the screen, unmoving. Her throat is dry.
Ai should get a drink.
But instead, she just waits.
Silence greets her on the other end. It hangs heavy. Almost condemning. She grimaces. She deserves that.
Her words knot in her throat. And though she always knew she never had to fake anything with him… the instinct to pretend is still there. A survival reflex. A mask Ai wore so long it became part of her skin.
Ai smiles when she speaks anyway. It's small, rehearsed, and nervous.
Her fingers tap against the arm of the couch. A soft, aimless rhythm. Her hands ache for her children. Just their presence. Their warmth. The grounding safety they unknowingly bring her.
She’s reaching out now—after all this time—but she never even told them “I love you.”
Because she was scared.
Scared that if she said those words, they would’ve been a lie.
And that also applied to her children.
***
"I love you."
Ai has always yearned for those words—from her fans, from the crowd that adored her, screamed her name, and reached out with hands that never truly touched her.
"I love you."
She tried to understand the weight of those words through B-Komachi—through the bright lights, through the shared choreography and rehearsed smiles.
"I love you."
She searched for every lover she had in her arms, hoping the warmth would teach her something, anything.
"I love you."
But she was always too afraid to understand the silence that lingered between her and him. Too scared of what they left unsaid.
"I love you."
Now, a decade later, she still hesitates to speak those words to her children—the very people who might finally understand her without conditions.
"I love yo—"
“Mama!”
She barely registers the sound before instinct takes over—Ai bends down and wraps Ruby in a warm hug.
Ruby beams up at her but pauses, concerned flickering across her face.
“Is something wrong, mama?” she asks, voice small.
Behind her, Aqua stands with his school backpack slung over one shoulder. Right. They just got home from school.
Ai straightens up, smoothing a hand over her daughter’s hair. “I’m fine,” she says, forcing a smile. “Where’s Miyako?”
“She already left,” Aqua answers. “She’s been really busy lately.”
“Right.” Ai nods, wincing a little. “It’s probably because this is my last album…”
Ruby’s eyes go wide with excitement. “Mama, are some of the lyrics about me and Aqua?”
“Yep,” Ai replies, gently patting Ruby’s head.
Ruby gasps and practically jumps in place. Even Aqua cracks a smile, which always feels like a small miracle.
“But before we talk more,” Ai says, waving them off, “go change first.”
They head to their room, their laughter trailing behind them like a melody.
Ai watches them disappear down the hall. They're growing up. Faster than she expected. She really should start preparing for the day they’ll each want their own rooms… their own space.
“Mama!” Ruby calls out again as she runs back, throwing her arms around Ai with renewed excitement. “I just saw your new album release!”
Ai hums softly. “Did you like it?”
“Yes!” Ruby grins. “So you said one of those songs is about me, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Then, when I become an idol,” Ruby says, her eyes shining, “I’ll make a song just for you!”
The words knock the air out of Ai's lungs.
For someone to make a song just for you—what a precious thing. Ai’s heart stutters under the weight of it. She almost cries, but she doesn’t. She’s an expert at hiding her tears, at swallowing her feelings before they overflow.
So instead, she smiles, kisses the top of Ruby’s head, and hugs her close.
“Then I’ll wait for that, Ruby.”
Ruby returns the hug with so much love that it nearly undoes Ai. She holds on tight, like she’s anchoring herself to this moment, to this proof that she did something right.
Then Aqua steps out of his room, voice calm and clear. “Mama, your first concert at Tokyo Dome, right? That’s your birthday too.”
Ai stiffens. The words aren’t accusatory, but they hit her like a stone to the chest. Aqua isn’t trying to hurt her—he’s just curious. But it still lands. Sharp. Heavy.
Because a mother should spend her birthday with her own family. Not with her fans.
Such a bad mother. Just like your own.
She nods. “Yeah.”
Aqua smiles. “What kind of gift do you want, mama? We’ll give it to you the day before your birthday.”
Ai looks at their faces. It's bright, expectant, and pure.
She’s so lucky. She knows that. Sometimes she wonders how she got to be their mother. Of all the terrible choices she’s made, this—them—feels like the one thing the universe didn’t let her ruin.
People always talk about “another life.” What they’d do differently. Who they’d become.
But Ai has never really believed in that. She has too many regrets, too many mistakes, too many moments she’d do over if given the chance but still, she wouldn’t ask for a second life.
Because all her failures led her here. To Aqua. To Ruby.
They are her success.
“Come here,” Ai says softly.
They step into her arms without hesitation, and she wraps them in a hug so full of love she can’t put into words. Maybe she never will. But she hopes this—this—is enough. Her warmth, her embrace, her steady heartbeat pressed against theirs.
“Whatever gifts you both end up buying,” Ai murmurs, smiling into their hair, “I’ll love it. As long as it comes from both of you.”
Later, she learns that Aqua decides to spend his own acting money. That Ruby’s been quietly saving hers for months.
I don’t deserve them, she thinks, the guilt slicing through her even as she smiles.
But maybe—just maybe—that’s what love really is.
Not perfection.
Not grand declarations.
Just this. Quiet acts. Gentle promises.
Ai will always try—always trying—to be someone worthy of the love she's been given.
***
Ai from B-Komachi @Offical_IdolAi
I can't wait to see all of you in Tokyo Dome tomorrow~~
For the international fans, please wait for me!!
Thank you everyone!
296 replies 3k retweets 505k hearts
Ai chuckles as she scrolls through her mentions, watching the chaos unfold online. Thousands of fans, from Tokyo to Toronto, are replying to her birthday post with an overwhelming mix of emojis, capital letters, and frantic keyboard smashes.
It’s sweet, if a little overwhelming.
Sometimes she has to pause, trying to decipher whether a comment is an enthusiastic compliment or a subtle insult, especially from her international fans. The cultural gaps are real, and navigating English slang is like walking through a minefield. Fortunately, Aqua and Ruby have become her unofficial translators, eagerly pointing out what’s affectionate and what’s... questionable.
More than once, Ai’s caught them reacting with wide eyes before they recomposed themselves, as if thinking, Wait, should Mama know what that word really means? She’d snort at their concern. They’re still kids, after all. It probably gives them a thrill, knowing something before their mother does.
She puts her phone down, lips curved into a smile, the warmth still in her chest when she steps out of her room.
“Happy birthday, Mama!” Ruby and Aqua shout in unison.
Before Ai can respond, they immediately dash into their separate rooms, whispering furiously to each other like co-conspirators in a spy movie. A moment later, they return, arms filled with carefully wrapped gifts, their expressions nearly bursting with anticipation.
Ai eyes them warily, amused, and slowly accepts the presents. Her children are beaming, practically vibrating from excitement.
“Open mine first!” Ruby blurts out, bouncing on the balls of her feet.
Aqua groans but doesn’t argue for once, which Ai arches a brow in amusement. That alone should’ve told her this gift meant a lot.
She carefully undoes the wrapping, revealing a neatly folded purple scarf. Her fingers trace the yarn, soft and gentle to the touch.
“A scarf?” Ai breathes, genuinely touched. “This is so soft…”
“I made it myself!” Ruby declares proudly, her hands behind her back, rocking slightly with excitement.
“What?” Ai’s eyes widen, turning toward her daughter. “When did you learn to knit?”
“Takamine taught me!” Ruby answers with a grin so wide it almost splits her face. Ai almost falters. Right, she shouldn’t be surprised. B-Komachi members adored Ruby and Aqua; they probably treated them like unofficial mascots of the group. Still, she hadn’t realized Ruby had grown so comfortable spending time with her co-workers without her around.
Ruby continues, “I bought a crochet set and everything! Even the hook!”
Aqua raises a skeptical eyebrow. “You’ve been saving money, right?”
“I did!” Ruby insists, then glances away sheepishly. “But then I used some of it for the cake and—”
“Oi!” Aqua’s eyes widen in horror as he lunges forward, clapping a hand over his twin’s mouth. “I told you that was a secret!”
Ruby’s own eyes mirror the panic, looking like a child caught stealing cookies. Slowly, almost comically, both of them turn toward Ai with the synchronized dread of characters in a horror movie.
Ai can’t help it—she bursts out laughing.
Her stomach aches from it, but the joy spreads through her chest like sunlight cracking through cloudy skies. These two… these ridiculous, chaotic, precious children. They make her laugh in a way that reaches the deepest parts of her soul.
How did she get this lucky?
How did someone like her end up with children like Aqua and Ruby?
When her laughter finally subsides, she gently holds the scarf to her chest. “This is beautiful, Ruby. You did such a good job. Thank you.”
Ruby beams, eyes sparkling, cheeks pink with pride. Aqua, meanwhile, eyes her suspiciously.
“I bet someone helped her. More than just Takamine.”
Ruby freezes. She doesn’t say anything, just glances away quickly.
“...Seriously?” Aqua deadpans, deadpan but clearly amused.
“Shut up!” Ruby snaps. “Watanabe asked if I needed help, and he only helped with the first few rows!”
Ai raises an eyebrow. “Watanabe?”
She shakes her head with a chuckle. Of course. She’d forgotten Watanabe also knew how to knit, t had come up once in a variety show and somehow slipped her mind. That girl was full of random skills. Still, it’s endearing to know he lent a hand for her daughter’s handmade gift.
“So… you both got a cake for me?” Ai cuts in, raising an eyebrow as her children’s bickering starts to escalate.
Immediately, both Aqua and Ruby freeze, caught like deer in headlights. Ai holds back a laugh at their synchronized guilt.
Eventually, Ruby speaks up first, cheeks flushed with a mix of pride and embarrassment. “We wanted to throw you a birthday party, Mama. So we ordered a lot of food.”
Aqua sighs, shooting his sister a sideways glance. “But I didn’t know Ruby drained most of her savings doing it. I would’ve paid more if you just told me.”
Ruby crosses her arms stubbornly. “And I don’t regret it one bit.”
Aqua opens his mouth to retort, but Ai steps in again, raising a hand.
“Wait, wait—who’s delivering all this food then?”
“Mom and Dad,” Aqua answers automatically, but as soon as the words leave his mouth, his eyes widen, and his entire face turns a deep crimson. “I mean—Miyako and Ichigo.”
Ruby immediately bursts into giggles at her brother’s mortification.
It makes sense. With Aqua being so active in the public eye—one of Japan’s most recognized child actors—it’s only natural that the Saitou couple, Miyako and Ichigo, would take on a parental duties during public events. So it makes sense Aqua had gotten used to calling them with those terms.
And oddly enough, Ai doesn’t feel a hint of jealousy or insecurity about it.
Ai feels… content. Proud, even.
She reaches out and gently pats Aqua’s head, watching his ears turn even redder. “Whenever I’m not around, it’s okay to call them that,” she says softly. “They’ve been like parents to you too, haven’t they?”
Then, after a pause, she adds with a sheepish grin, “And when I retire, keep calling them that. It makes all of us happy—me, and them too.”
To Ai, Ichigo is more than a manager—he's a father figure, steady and dependable. And Miyako, though more like an aunt, has become a trusted confidante. Sometimes even a friend.
Aqua relaxes under her hand, the mortification fading from his expression. Ruby, on the other hand, beams up at her, visibly relieved and happy.
“So…” Ai tilts her head, “Are Ichigo and Miyako staying for the party too?”
To her surprise, both children shake their heads.
“We told them we just wanted it to be the three of us today,” Ruby says, her voice gentle.
“Thankfully, they didn’t take it the wrong way,” Aqua adds, though he exhales like the weight of that conversation had been heavy.
Ruby lowers her gaze, looking a little guilty. “Sorry, Mama. But we really just wanted today to be only for us. Just you, me, and Aqua.”
Ai is stunned for a moment. For them to be so bold—to actually ask for a day with just her, carving out this quiet, personal space between the three of them—it warms her heart and breaks it a little too.
Because her children should not have to ask to be able to spend time with their own mother.
She smiles, reaching out to gently ruffle Ruby’s hair. “After I retire, you won’t even have to ask. You can tell me what you want to do and I’ll be there.”
She grins. “What country you want to visit, what ridiculous gift you want me to buy, or whatever wild idea you two come up with—we’ll do it. Together.”
It’s not an empty promise. Not anymore.
Ai has money. More than enough. Idol success, both local and international, has made her a powerhouse. People call her the music industry of Japan—her name synonymous with stardom. And all of it, all those years of building and enduring, have paid off.
Her wealth could probably fund her great-grandchildren’s college tuitions—and then some.
But none of it compares to this moment, to the soft joy of seeing her children’s eyes light up with excitement, hope, and love.
They nod eagerly, leaning into her warmth as she hugs them both tightly, arms around the only treasures in her life that truly mattered.
When she finally lets go, Ruby suddenly gasps. “Mama! We forgot to open Aqua’s gift!”
Ai blinks, then glances at her son. Based on his expression—wide-eyed and sheepish—he’d forgotten too.
She chuckles, taking the box he offers her. Carefully, she peels off the wrapping and lifts the lid.
Inside is a plush teddy rabbit, soft and snow-white, about the length of her forearm. It’s wearing a frilly little dress and a delicate ribbon tied around its chest, looking as if it had been chosen with painstaking care.
“Oh,” Ai breathes, lifting it from the box. The softness of the fur and the gentle detail in the design take her aback. “This is… adorable.”
She hugs the teddy rabbit close, touched by the thoughtfulness in the gift. “Did you pick this out yourself?”
Aqua shrugs, but his lips twitch with a proud little smile. “Yeah. I remember when you told us about the teddy bear incident with a fan. So I wanted to change that memory, and now a fan of yours is giving you a gift mama!”
Ai freezes.
That offhand comment—something she barely even remembered saying—had stuck with him.
“Sadly, I can't receive anymore teddy bears.” Ai sighed wistfully.
“If you want a teddy bear, mama, I'll buy it for you.” Aqua suddenly said.
Ai smiles, warmth bubbling in her chest, her heart full to the brim. “Thank you, Aqua.”
Her son beams at her, a grin spreading across his face—genuine, a mix of pride and bashfulness. “There’s no hidden camera in there, Mama. I made sure of it.”
Ai laughs, bright and melodic, the sound filling the room with ease. She pulls both of her children into another hug, kissing them each on the forehead with a tenderness that seems endless.
Once she composes herself, brushing her hands down her thighs as if to collect all her feelings, she asks, “When will the food arrive?”
“Dad said it’d be here around lunchtime,” Aqua replies, trying for casualness, though the word ‘Dad’ makes his ears turn pink.
Ai nods, choosing not to tease. “Alright. Then let’s eat breakfast first and watch something on TV after.”
True to her word, she heads into the kitchen and starts cooking bacon and eggs, humming a light tune under her breath. Ruby sets the table while Aqua preps the drinks. When Aqua offers to do the dishes afterward, Ai shuts him down immediately with mock sternness.
“Not on my birthday,” she says, waving a spatula at him. “That’s my job today.”
“You’re supposed to relax,” he grumbles, but she’s already rinsing plates.
Once breakfast is done, the three of them curl up together on the couch, scrolling through streaming platforms until they settle on a drama series from last year starring Nino. Neither Ruby nor Aqua has seen it yet, and Ai’s curious to see how her old colleague did in a dramatic role.
Time passes quickly. About an hour in, Ai glances over and notices Ruby curled into the cushions, fast asleep with a blanket half-draped over her.
Aqua snorts. “She was so excited for your birthday, she didn’t sleep at all last night.”
Ai smiles softly, adjusting the blanket over her daughter’s shoulder. “Of course she didn’t.”
Then she turns to Aqua. “By the way, how’s filming going for Vengeance from the Deaths?”
“Pretty intense,” Aqua says, stretching out a little. “The director’s obsessed with this one warehouse scene, we’ve shot it six times now. But the action stuff’s actually fun.” He pauses, then smirks. “My co-star snapped his prop gun yesterday.”
Ai winces in sympathy. “Sounds chaotic. But I’m sure you’re crushing it.”
They slip into easy conversation, small talk about the set and gossip about the industry. It eventually shifted to B-Komachi’s latest album. Ai watches as Aqua’s eyes brighten just slightly.
“I figured out which song is about me in your album, Mama,” he says with a little smile. “Thanks for that.”
Ai raises a brow, feigning innocence. “Oh? Which one?”
He doesn’t answer—just holds her gaze as he smiles like he’s daring her to confirm it.
The songs she wrote for her children are always layered, veiled in metaphors. To the public, they’re vague tales of love, pain, and survival. Some fans speculate they’re fictional, others guess at deeper meanings.
A few have even caught on to certain lines hinting at motherhood or dark family secrets but nothing concrete. Even when Saitou read the lyrics for the first time, he didn’t panic.
“If you want,” Ai tells Aqua now, her tone light, “go ahead and analyze more of the lyrics. You might be surprised by what you find.”
Aqua nods with interest already sparking in his eyes. She knows how much he enjoys dissecting stories, looking for meaning in symbols and metaphors. It’s part of what makes him a sharp actor, and it’s something she’s always admired in him.
She watches him for a beat, quiet affection swelling in her chest. He’s older now—more composed, more guarded. But the love is still there.
Ai remembers when he was younger, full of unfiltered devotion. Back then, he tried to convert Taishi, their director, into an Ai fan or even a B-komachi fan. He’d marched up to the man, serious-faced and full of purpose, and launched into a heartfelt pitch.
It had been one of the funniest things Ai had ever witnessed. She laughed so hard she cried that day.
She doesn’t bring it up now, but the memory glows quietly in her chest. Things are different, sure, but the bond between them has only changed shape, not disappeared.
Even if Aqua doesn’t gush about her like he used to, even if he no longer carries her photo in his backpack or sings her songs at full volume, she sees it.
It’s in the way he shows up. In the way he listens. In the way he still gives her gifts with that same bashful pride. The love was there, much quieter now. Older. Steadier.
***
Another hour passes. Aqua reads over his movie script, his brows occasionally furrowing in thought, lips moving silently as he internalizes lines. Ai sits beside him on the couch, gently combing her fingers through Ruby's soft hair as her daughter snoozes with her head on Ai's lap. The television murmurs in the background, but Ai isn't really watching. She's simply basking in the rare, quiet moment with both of her children so close.
Then, the doorbell rings.
Aqua glances at his phone, puzzled. "That was early..." he mutters, folding the script and placing it aside.
Ai stands up with a shrug, brushing her hands against her hips. "Maybe Saitou and Miyako decided to come by early."
"But—"
"It's my birthday," she cuts him off with a teasing grin. "So it's my food to place on the table. No buts, focus on your script."
"Okay, okay..." Aqua sighs, his eyes drifting back to the table but clearly still listening.
Ai hums to herself as she walks across the penthouse, her bare feet padding quietly against the wood floor. She opens the long entryway door and nudges it back into place, the movement easy and familiar.
Her hand hovered over the lock as the doorbell rang again. "In a second!" she exclaims to the door.
She unlocks the door.
The moment it opens, a cluster of white roses floods her vision.
Her gaze drifts upward—from the pristine petals to the hand holding them, and finally to the hooded man standing behind them. He isn’t smiling. He isn’t excited. There’s no warmth in his face.
Just a frown that twists into something bitter.
"Early happy birthday, Ai," the man mutters, voice low, almost intimate. "It’s also your early retirement."
The memory hits her like a lightning strike.
She’s in a hospital bed, exhausted but glowing. In her arms, a newborn daughter coos and stretches tiny fingers. Beside her, Saitou holds her other child—her son.
Ai giggles, gently booping the nose of the wide-eyed baby girl. "Your name from now on is Ruby," she declares proudly. "You have such pretty eyes. Like rubies. A hidden gem, at that."
Ruby babbles in response, a sound so sweet it tugs at Ai’s heart.
She turns to Saitou. "Hey, president. I need to see my son too."
Saitou sighs but obliges, stepping closer to hand the newborn boy to Ai. She cradles him in her arms, her smile widening.
The baby blinks up at her. His eyes—clear, cerulean, like polished gemstones—hold her spellbound.
"Aha! Your name is Aquamarine," Ai announces, triumphant.
"Aquamarine?" Saitou repeats, incredulous.
The boy scrunches his tiny nose.
"You don’t like it?" Ai frowns in mock offense at her son. "It’s a good name!"
Saitou shakes his head. "I don’t blame the child. I wouldn’t want that name either."
Ai leans down to kiss her son’s forehead. "But look at him, president. He has the most beautiful blue eyes."
Ruby continues babbling, her small hands reaching for Ai, while Aqua—so small then—regards her quietly, cautious, curious. Like a kitten unsure whether to curl up or flee.
So cute…!
Ai gathers them both into her arms. Her heart swells to the point of pain.
"Aqua. Ruby," she whispers. Her voice trembles. She’s never felt more full. "I can’t believe I’m a mother now."
The present snaps back violently.
The man’s hand shoots forward, and Ai gasps—a sound choked off as cold metal tears into her abdomen deeper. Pain erupts, searing, sharp, immediate. Her breath catches. Her knees almost weaken.
He withdraws the blade, grinning as blood spills freely, soaking through the fabric of her dress, pooling at her feet.
Ai stumbles back a step, clutching her stomach, trying to understand.
"Are your twins doing well?!" the man screams, his voice unhinged. "Are you happy with your life?! Your lie?! Are you happy to be a successful idol?! A mother?!"
The pain is unbearable, but what shocks her more is the hatred—how real it is, how familiar. Her hands tremble as she lifts them, coated in her own blood.
Still, her thoughts drift.
Aqua’s grin. Ruby’s laugh.
The images flash before her—birthday hugs, tiny baby hands, the feel of her daughter's hair beneath her fingers just minutes ago.
Despite everything, a small, sad smile ghosts across her lips.
"Does that hurt?!" the man shrieks, voice raw. "I was hurt more! It was hell, finding out you had kids! How dare you live a happy life?!"
Ai barely hears him. Her ears ring. It’s all white noise now. The world is slipping sideways.
And then—
"Mama?"
A voice.
Her son’s voice.
Ai’s heart jolts. Her eyes snap wide. Reality barrels back in full force.
No.
Not in front of her child.
She turns slightly, enough to see Aqua standing there, frozen in the hallway, his script lying abandoned somewhere behind him. His face is pale, horror written in every line.
Ai’s breath hitches. Her mouth opens, but no words come.
The pain is a dull roar now, but she registers it. Every throb, every drop of blood staining the floor. She can feel her body unraveling.
She looks back at the man who did this.
And she smiles.
A real one. Bitter, pained, and knowing.
My lies are finally catching up to me.
Notes:
Early Happy birthday Ai!
Chapter 20: Book 1: Hoshino Ai, part two
Summary:
“Don’t talk, Mama!” Aqua’s voice breaks with urgency as he presses trembling hands to her wound. “We have to stop the bleeding... it’s the abdominal aorta? Damn it!”
Ai wraps her arms around him. She doesn’t want to see that look on his face—doesn’t want his memories of her to be stained with panic and blood. She just wants to hold him, like she did hours ago, when everything was still okay.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers with a dry, brittle smile, her clean hand gently stroking his hair. “I’m pretty sure… I’m done for…”
She feels him tremble in her arms. Aqua is too smart for his own good. He’s already figured it out.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“You—You sold out your fans, you whore…!”
The words crash against her like cold water, but Ai doesn’t flinch.
So that’s what they think of me, huh?
Is it really so unforgivable to chase your own happiness?
Aren’t idols allowed to live? To love?
But no—idols aren’t people. Not to the public. They’re not allowed flaws or secrets, not allowed the messiness of real life. They're symbols. A fantasy. A dream neatly packaged into a smile.
“You disrespected your fans!” the man snarls. There’s a familiar sharpness in his eyes, something she almost recognizes but can’t quite place yet. His voice cracks. “I bet you were always mocking us behind our backs!”
Ai blinks slowly. She hasn’t. She swears she hasn’t done anything that cruel.
“You liar!”
The word slices sharper than the knife did.
She’s heard it before, ‘Liar.’ It’s practically her name now. The industry called her brilliant for it, and the public adored her because of it—until they didn’t.
Always cute, always pure. Always genuine. That’s the illusion, the contract unspoken.
They say idols sell dreams.
But Ai? She sold lies.
Because lies were the only language she ever truly understood.
She doesn’t know how to love—not the way others expect her to. Not the way a mother should. Not the way a lover might. But she knows how to perform affection. She knows how to wrap the void in sparkles and sugar, to say “I love you” like a line in a song.
And if the lies make people happy… then isn’t that still a kind of love?
She hears her son's voice again, urgent and frightened. “Mama!”
Aqua’s trying to run to her, to help her, his small hands already reaching out. But Ai steps in front of him, shielding him from the man whose laughter now borders on mania.
She can’t let her son be focused by this person.
She won’t let him be hurt.
The man stares at the blood on his knife, then at her. His eyes gleam with something broken.
“You were supposed to be different! You were supposed to be ours!”
I was called a genius multiple times, Ai thinks numbly. A prodigy. A once-in-a-generation idol.
But what use is a prodigy if the price is your soul?
If I'm going to give people the idol of their dreams…
...I have to lie.
She looks him in the eye—her former fan, twisted by betrayal and obsession.
“You were all ‘love, love, love,’ all over the place, reeling us in!” he shouts, spittle flying. “It was all a damn pack of lies!”
He’s right.
And yet, not entirely.
“I’ve always been irresponsible,” Ai replies softly, her voice trembling but clear. “As people go… I’m hopeless. I don’t get what it means to love somebody.”
His face twists in disbelief as her words land, a wound deeper than any blade could leave.
“But I wanted to. I really did. So I told pretty lies. Lies that might make people happy. Someday… I hoped they’d become true.”
Her body is trembling now, blood soaking through her clothes, pooling at her feet. But her mind is oddly clear, her heart steady.
Ai finally remembers him.
The boy who once handed her a small glass bottle of star sand at a fan event, beaming like the world was his. A second-row regular. The second person who ever believed in her.
“I did my best,” Ai continues. “I worked hard. I lied with everything I had.”
She tries to smile, but it’s a weak, wavering thing, more grimace than grin.
“To me… lies are love. I thought, in my own way, I was showing love.”
She reaches toward him, and he flinches. She doesn’t blame him.
“You remember me?” he asks, voice hoarse, cracking. “Don’t lie to me again…”
She tilts her head gently. “You're Ryunosuke, aren’t you? You came to lots of our meet and greets.”
His jaw slackens, eyes going wide. He steps back.
Ai winces as her knees almost give out, but she pushes through it. She has to.
“Am I wrong?” she asks, blinking through the haze. “I’m sorry… I’m really bad with names.” She taps her temple with a trembling finger. “But the star sand you gave me… I still have it. It’s in my living room. It made me really happy.”
The knife clatters to the floor.
Ryunosuke steps back again, disoriented, as if the walls are closing in. “What the hell…? This isn’t… That’s not what I—!”
His hands dig into his hair as he turns to the door, mumbling to himself, spiraling.
Ai doesn’t wait.
She gathers the last of her strength and throws her weight back, shoving the door behind her shut—where Ruby is waiting, still safe.
Her body slides down the wall, blood soaking into the floor beneath her as her vision swims. Through the blur, she sees Aqua—her sweet, bright boy—frantically talking to someone on the phone.
She manages a faint smile. Even now, in a moment like this, he’s calm enough to think. Smart kid.
“Mama, I called the ambulance,” Aqua says, rushing to her side. His voice cracks with panic, eyes wide and wild.
Ai’s gaze drifts to the front door, where a thin trail of her own blood marks the floor like a thread unraveling. “So this is what the door chains are for, huh?” she murmurs with a faint, bitter laugh. “Mom and the children’s home never taught me that…”
“Don’t talk, Mama!” Aqua’s voice breaks with urgency as he presses trembling hands to her wound. “We have to stop the bleeding... it’s the abdominal aorta? Damn it!”
Ai wraps her arms around him. She doesn’t want to see that look on his face—doesn’t want his memories of her to be stained with panic and blood. She just wants to hold him, like she did hours ago, when everything was still okay.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers with a dry, brittle smile, her clean hand gently stroking his hair. “I’m pretty sure… I’m done for…”
She feels him tremble in her arms. Aqua is too smart for his own good. He’s already figured it out.
“Are you okay, Aqua? You’re not hurt, are you?” Her voice is gentle, worried, still trying to be a mother even now.
“No… I’m not,” he says quietly.
“I’m glad,” she murmurs, her eyes fluttering shut for a second. She draws in a shaky breath, then her thoughts start to drift. “Are they gonna have to cancel the dome concert…?” Her voice is almost a whisper now. “I feel bad. I already troubled everyone by announcing my retirement…”
She squeezes Aqua tighter, and he squeezes back, clinging to her.
“The movie schedule was finalised too,” she adds, her smile turning wistful. “Apologise to the director for me, okay?”
A sudden, loud slam behind her makes her jolt. The door.
“Hey!” It’s Ruby’s voice, shrill and afraid. “What’s going on over there…? Why can't I open the door?! Mama! Aqua! Are the two of you there?!”
Ai tightens her hold on Aqua, as if shielding him from the reality she knows is coming. “Stay away…” her voice is strained. “Please, Ruby…”
“Mama!” Ruby cries. “Mama, what’s going on in there?! You’re scaring me!”
Ai’s eyes sting. No. She hates this. She hates this moment so much.
“Ruby… you’re good with instruments, you know?” Ai says, voice cracking but tender. “Maybe you’ll be like me… producing your own album someday.”
She lets out a soft laugh, pained but real.
“You’re also amazing at dancing and singing. I see it. You have so much potential.” She leans her head slightly, glancing toward the door. “You’ll be an incredible idol. You’ll surpass me—I know you will.”
“Mama, please tell me what’s going on…” Ruby’s voice trembles on the other side of the door, but Ai can’t answer directly. She can’t let her daughter see her like this.
“I’m sorry, Ruby… the promise we made—to dance on the same stage together, as a mother-daughter duo…” Her voice chokes. “I don’t think I’ll be able to do that anymore.”
She hears Ruby break into sobs on the other side. Ai’s heart cracks further, aching to comfort her, to pull her close like she’s doing with Aqua now—but Ruby doesn’t need to see her mother’s dying body. Once is already too much.
“And you, Aqua…” She tries to hold him tighter, as if holding him could keep her soul anchored to this world just a little longer. “You’ll be… an amazing actor. You’ll shine so brightly, maybe even be known around the world.”
Ah… what an image that would be. Ai is very sure his son would take the acting world by storm.
She smiles at the thought.
Ai's voice quivers. “I’m sorry I won’t be able to see your first movie when it’s out…”
Aqua doesn’t speak. He stays frozen in her arms, and Ai lets her gaze drift to a picture hanging on the wall—a snapshot of the three of them, smiling like they had all the time in the world. A memory from a year ago. It feels like forever now.
“I wonder what kind of adults you’ll grow into…”
She chuckles softly, the image in her mind making her heart ache with both grief and hope.
“I wanted to see your junior high uniforms when you both move up… visit your classrooms, when it’s safe to reveal our secret. I bet the teachers would say, ‘Ruby, your mom’s so young!’” She smiles at the thought. “And then they’d realise I’m also the mother of that amazing actor. They’d be so surprised.”
She tries to keep her voice light, like she’s telling a bedtime story—but it’s getting harder. Her body’s colder. Her breath is becoming thinner.
Ai clings to the moment. She clings to her children. She clings to the life she’s not ready to leave behind.
“I wasn’t a very good mom…” she confesses, blinking back the fog in her eyes. “But I don’t regret having you both. Not for a second.”
She draws in a shaky breath. There’s something she still has to say—something she must say.
“Ruby.” Her right hand lifts, slowly, shakily, pressing against the door that separates them. “Aqua.” She cradles him gently with her other arm.
This time, the words were not caught in her throat. There's something freeing and devastating as Ai uttered—
“I love you,” Ai says softly.
The words come out in a breath, warm and full and real. Her voice is tender, unwavering, the kind of love that can’t be mistaken.
I finally said it… I’m sorry it took me way too long.
Ai smiles through the tears brimming in her eyes as she feels her son shivering against her skin and the choke out sob from her daughter.
The words leave her like a confession, like a prayer. Like a gift she’s been holding onto all this time and finally placed into their hands.
If she had more time, she would say it every day.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Those words… she thinks estatically as a genuine grin begins to draw on her face, were definitely not a lie
Her hand slowly slips from the door. Her gaze settles on Aqua, offering him one last smile—gentle, radiant, the one he’s always adored.
And even as her strength fades, even as her body begins to fall still, there’s one more thing Ai wants to leave behind.
A lullaby.
Softly, with the last of her breath, she begins to sing.
The same song she always sang for them. The song that promised, Mama will stay awake until you both fall asleep.
Outside the door, Ruby pounds and cries hysterically. “Mama! Mama!”
And inside, Ai sings—voice trembling, fading—but full of love.
Always, full of love.
Aqua stares at Ai, his eyes wide and glistening. His trembling hand reaches out, desperate to touch her face—somehow ground this unraveling moment in something real. Ai sees it, feels the warmth of his palm near her cheek, but she doesn’t have the strength to lift her own hand to meet him.
So, instead, she leans into it.
Her cheek rests against his hand, skin growing colder by the second, but still she memorizes every detail of her son’s face—the boy she brought into this world. The boy she raised, loved, protected. The boy who was far too young to be seeing her like this.
His soft blonde hair, ruffled and messy from panic. His sharp nose, so much like his. The roundness in his cheeks, still holding onto traces of baby fat. And his eyes—the eyes that looked like the ocean, deep and stormy and full of pain she never wanted him to feel.
Ai didn’t realize she still had strength left until her fingers twitched and moved, trailing gently along Aqua’s face, leaving a smear of blood behind like a mark of love and sorrow. Her touch is barely there, feather-light. But to her, it’s everything. It’s her final tether to this life.
In that moment, as she looked at her son, it was like she was also staring at him. The father of her children. The man who had given her Aqua and Ruby.
She imagined him standing there in front of her, imagining the expression he might have worn. Would he be crying, too? Would he have held her hand if he were really here?
As Ai humms, she lets herself believe it. Just for a moment.
Ai smiles—truly, warmly. A soft, vulnerable smile filled with love. A smile meant not only for her son, but for the man who should have heard it too. If he were here, she thinks, he would’ve smiled back. They would’ve shared this final moment as a family, however broken and fragmented.
I love you, too, she would say. The words she could never reply then, but could whisper in her heart now.
After saying those words, Ai imagined the grin and laugh he would wear as the love between them was finally acknowledged at last.
“Mama…?” Aqua’s voice cracks through the silence.
And then—
Ai exhales one final, gentle breath.
Her arms, once curled around Aqua, slide down limply, hitting the floor with a dull thud. Her body slackens in his grasp.
“Mama?” Aqua calls again, confusion lacing his voice. “Mama?”
He shakes her shoulder gently, then more urgently. “Mama, wake up,” he pleads, his hands trembling. “We're not asleep yet… you said you'd stay awake if we…”
There’s no response. No flicker in her eyes. Just the still, glassy gaze of a mother whose light has gone out.
On the other side of the door, Ruby is pounding, crying. “Mama! Please don't go! Mama!”
Aqua’s lips tremble as he stares into his mother’s now unfamiliar eyes—eyes that once sparkled with laughter and joy, now empty.
“Mama, we're not asleep yet,” he whispers again, more to himself than anyone else. His fingers wrap around Ai’s hand, trying to warm it with his own. But it’s already turning cold. “Please take us with you,” he murmurs. “Please… just sing again…”
But there is no lullaby.
Just the sobs of a girl separated by a door, and the quiet, choked gasps of a boy holding on to what’s left of his world.
Moments pass, stretched long and unbearable, before the distant wail of sirens grows louder... too late.
The door bursts open. The paramedics rush in, followed by police. Just seconds later, Miyako and Saitou arrive, eyes wide and horrified at the sight in front of them.
None of them speak.
There’s nothing they can say.
On the floor near the entrance, the cake Miyako and Ichigo had brought home—meant to be a celebration—was abruptly dropped on the ground. The frosting is smeared, the colors dull, the chill long gone.
Just like her.
***
B Komachi Idol Ai (25) killed by Stalker.
Today at 11:00 am., Ai was killed in her home by a man believed to be a fan. Several hours later, the suspect attempted suicide and was pronounced dead at the hospital. The Metropolitan Police Department are investigating the possibility that the man had an accomplice. Read more…
***
B Komachi Idol Ai (25) killed by Stalker.
[Attached link]
↟ 5.7k ↡ 💬 Reply
Random_person7011
She's about to be 26 years old tomorrow, celebrating it with her fans!! But her body stayed at 25. This is NOT happening.
↟ 2.5k ↡ 💬 Reply
Ai_Stan
I'm going to throw up, why did this happen to Ai?
↟ 1.3k ↡ 💬 Reply
Bitch_sensei
That Ryunosuke guy has gotten away? And was able to end himself with his own terms? Fuck off.
↟ 1.7k ↡ 💬 Reply
B_KomachiAi
This is so cruel considering the fact she just tweeted earlier today. She was so excited for tomorrow. That piece of shit who killed Ai does not deserve her.
There's also Twitter, which is a half of garbage right now.
Rest in peace Ai. You deserve a better fanbase.
↟ 1.1k ↡ 💬 Reply
Red_Gem_fan
Currently looking at twitter. They are
disgusting.
↟ 987 ↡ 💬 Reply
***
BIUA
@FundSource
B Komachi Idol Ai (25) killed by Stalker earlier today.
[Attached link]
296 replies 3k retweets 50k hearts
Takamine my bae
@firstfan
WHAT
5 replies 569 retweets 2k hearts
Number1fan_also
@Bkomachiloves
Maybe this is a PR? Please tell me it's a PR
2 replies 59 retweets 2.9k hearts
Moon
@AiMySun
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
4 replies 769 retweets 3k hearts
Ai_mylove
@number1fan
Tell me this is a dream. I'll wake up tomorrow and be able to go to the Tokyo Dome concert
31 replies 569 retweets 4k hearts
^
Komachi
@TeamRabbit
Sadly, we’re not dreaming
2 replies 321 retweets 888 hearts
BKomachiAi
@Oshi
I finished read the link. This is not fair for Ai and for her fans. She's about to retire!!! Is that the reason why she was killed??
50 replies 2k retweets 10k hearts
^
Kanachan
@AiAiNinoTakamine
I'm actually crying right now.
4 replies 139 retweets 233 hearts
LeeSejin
@mybaemylove
Stupid delusional fans are so problematic and now Ai is gone because of them.
8 replies 469 retweets 888 hearts
Maya the bird
@casualfan
Ai is about to be 26 years old tomorrow. What the hell???
19 replies 654 retweets 2k hearts
Something happens
@lolmylifeheh
This is so fuck up. Rest in peace Ai, you did not deserve this.
20 replies 1k retweets 999 hearts
AiBkomachi_forme
@XutieAi
And there's goes my paid ticket
26 replies 200 retweets 309 hearts
^
Larry_The_eagle
@basketlifetime
Forget about your ticket, Ai just died.
1 reply 67 retweets 97 hearts
Alexa Chung
@Mobbingthemob
We lost Japan's music industry.
10 replies 711 retweets 1.5k hearts
Production Santos
@Yeyme
I'm in denial
2 replies 6 retweets 10 hearts
Lea Michele
@Nino&Ai
Somebody said she was killed because she's about to quit as an idol. But Ai does not deserve that!
10 replies 3 retweets 56 hearts
^
Carl John
@fuckmylife
This is her fault, maybe she shouldn't think about quitting.
3 replies 2 retweets 10 hearts
^
Niña
@NiñaMyth
I think I get why she wants to retire by seeing this comment
1 replies 0 retweets 3 hearts
^
Carl John
@fuckmylife
Lmao she deserves it
0 replies 0 retweets 1 hearts
Mendi
@qwerpou
Maybe she has a love affair based on her songs? If she did it, she deserves it.
21 replies 100 retweets 322 hearts
^
KyuCutie
@KyuFTW
Newsflash Just because there's a
possibility of a lover does not mean an
idol deserves to die
12 replies 78 retweets 203 hearts
AiStan
@Ai_Imafan
Rest in peace Ai
1 replies 1 retweets 7 hearts
^
Oof
@xasual
🤣🤣🤣
0 replies 0 retweets 1 hearts
***
Pandemonium
@AHell
#Ai #StalkerMurder The stalker must have realised that Ai had a guy
50 replies 300 retweets 587 hearts
^
geekgeek
@gamerGaME
If so, she was sort of asking to get stabbed.
26 replies 200 retweets 309 hearts
AiStan
@Ai_Imafan
What is wrong with you people
17 replies 109 retweets 289 hearts
Carl John
@fuckmylife
This is what I've been saying
1 replies 7 retweets 68 hearts
Walter
@NoobAmateur
LOL
3 replies 2 retweets 10 hearts
***
Troubadour
@Ai_num1fan
I can't forgive that guy!! The audacity for killing himself #RemeberingAi
587 replies 989 retweets 7k hearts
^
Buff
@gymanstic
The problem is lax controls on stalkers. #BKomachiAi
33 replies 456 retweets 2k hearts
HeartPatrol
@IdolAi-ri
Death is way too quick for him #JusticeForAi
3 replies 200 retweets 1k hearts
***
Brother Tin
@Yerona
There's rumours going around that Ai has a secret lover. Ai fuck around and finds out
324 replies 399 retweets 592 hearts
“What…?” Ruby mutters, her voice low, disbelieving, as she stares blankly at her phone screen. Her thumb hovers motionless over the glowing display, heart thudding in her chest. “So if an idol falls in love, she’s asking to get killed? Really?” Her voice cracks around the edges, incredulous. “You know that’s not a thing, right? That’s not how any of this works…”
The air feels thick, her breath shaky. Her eyes flick across post after post, each one more vile than the last—comments twisting Ai’s life into something grotesque, reducing her death to a spectacle. A punishment. A justification.
Her fingers tighten around the phone until her knuckles pale, fury building like a storm in her chest. She bites down on the inside of her cheek until she tastes blood.
“You people fall for idols left and right,” she snaps, not caring who hears her anymore. “You buy the merch, you watch the lives, you memorize every little thing about them like they’re yours. And then you say they can’t fall for anyone?! Like—like they're not even people?!”
Aqua, silent by the window, doesn’t respond. The city lights flicker against his still figure, but his gaze is far away, distant, dark.
“You’re just mad you don’t have girlfriends!” Ruby shouts now, voice rising. “And you're taking it out on idols because it’s easy! Because they’re not allowed to fight back, right? You creeps. You pathetic, creepy losers!”
Her hand jerks as if to hurl the phone across the room, wanting so badly to destroy something—anything. But she stops herself, her arms frozen mid-motion. Her eyes flick to her phone again, she still remembers the day her mother gave her this phone when Ruby got caught using it.
Compared to the dull phone case it was years ago, there's now a cheap plastic shell decorated with tiny stars and glitter that Ai had picked out just for her.
This phone originally belonged to her mama.
Ruby’s lips trembles. She lowers the phone.
“You don't get to do this,” she whispers to the screen of the phone, voice raw and choked. “You don't get to say those things, to use our pain—her pain—to make yourselves feel better. You don't get to twist your obsession into an excuse for hurting someone.”
The words hang in the air like smoke, acrid and bitter.
Then—warmth.
A familiar arm wraps gently around her shoulders, pulling her into a quiet, steady embrace. Aqua.
Ruby sags against him the moment his body touches hers, her strength crumbling all at once. She hadn’t even realized how tightly she’d been holding herself together until now.
“Aqua…” she murmurs, her voice muffled as she presses her face into his shirt. Her arms curl around his torso, clinging to him like a lifeline. “Why is the internet like this?”
She sniffles, the tears now flowing freely, no longer held back by anger or pride. “Mama is dead, and they’re just—they’re just posting things. Cruel things. Things that make me wish I was dead too.”
Aqua flinches, just slightly, then he holds her tighter. He has no answers for her—none that would make it better. None that would bring their mother back or undo what’s been done. He’s read the same posts, seen the same filth being spread like wildfire. He knows exactly what she’s talking about.
And yet, all he can do is be here. Hold her. Stay.
Ruby’s voice shakes as she whispers, “Does being famous mean people can say whatever they want about you? Even after you’re gone? Even if it kills you?”
She already knows the answer. So does her brother who is an actor. They’ve both lived it. Ruby’s been arguing with strangers online for years, trying to carve out a sliver of truth in a digital world that doesn't care who bleeds.
But this time—this time she doesn’t yell. She doesn’t fight.
She just cries. On his shoulder, quietly, desperately. Because the one person who would’ve known exactly what to say—the one person who had weathered it all and still smiled—was gone.
And all that was left was silence, screens, and each other.
Notes:
While writing this chapter, it's kinda poetic to see the last person Ai saw is Aqua who looks like you-know-who
Anyway, what's your thoughts on Ai's scene in this? I'm in doubt if it was heartbreaking as canon...
Chapter 21: Book 1: Aqua's talent
Summary:
Aqua dragged his hands over his face. “If it’s money you want, there are better ways. Fans are selfish. The moment you have a boyfriend, they’ll turn on you like it’s their moral right.”
“Even so…” Her eyes shimmered. “Mama sparkled.”
A tight, hot anger bloomed in Aqua’s chest.
“Ruby, just give up on your dream.”
She stared at him, stunned. Her lips trembled. “After everything—after years of you supporting me… now you tell me to give up?”
“That’s not what I—Mama just died, Ruby!”
“If Mama were here, she’d support me no matter what!”
“She’s not here anymore!” he snapped.
Notes:
I'm sorry for the late update, procastination is kicking my ass T__T
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Since the day you were born,” Miyako says gently, kneeling in front of them, “both of you have already been part of our family register.” Her eyes soften as she looks between the twins. “Ai will always be your mother—nothing will ever change that. And you don’t have to think of me as your mom.” She pauses, a small smile tugging at her lips. “But I want you to know… I already think of you both as my children.”
There’s a beat of silence.
Ruby stares at her, eyes wide and glistening. Aqua, sitting beside her, keeps his gaze turned away, staring blankly at the wall, jaw tight, unreadable.
Then Ruby’s lip trembles.
She throws her arms around Miyako, burying her face into her shoulder. “Mama said… if she’s not there…” Ruby chokes out through sobs, “she’d be happy if we both called you and Ichigo ‘Mom and Dad.’”
Miyako’s breath hitches as the words sink in, and her arms instinctively tighten around Ruby, holding her close like something precious she didn’t know she’d been waiting for.
Aqua doesn’t move. His eyes are fixed on the wall beside him, unmoving, his expression frozen and his hands… resting on his knees, trembling ever so slightly.
The grief in the room lingers like smoke, but for a moment, there's also warmth, quiet and fragile, but real.
***
Aqua and Ruby sat quietly, their gazes fixed on a single framed photograph—Ai, frozen in time, smiling gently in a simple purple dress, seated at the kitchen table. It wasn’t a picture from her B-Komachi days or her modeling work. It was just… her. Ai, at home. Soft and real. The kind of photo you take without thinking it would someday be placed at a funeral.
Aqua remembered that day clearly—just a year ago. Ai had gotten a rare break, and they had all decided, spontaneously, to spend the day as a family. He remembered Ruby’s joy, bouncing around the room with excitement when Ai said she had the whole day off. They’d taken photos together: one with all three of them, then shots of the twins together, and individual pictures with Ai holding each of her children. At the end, Ai had asked Aqua to take one of just her, and for once, she didn’t pose. She simply smiled—genuinely, widely, freely.
Now, that photo sat framed among white lilies and candlelight.
In the corner of the room, Miyako sat beside them, dabbing tears from her eyes. Not far from her, Ichigo cried openly, his grief raw and uncontained as he clutched yet another bottle of alcohol. The usual sharpness in his demeanor had long since dulled, replaced by trembling hands and red-rimmed eyes.
Aqua found himself wondering—had they seen the body when they arrived? Or had the police already taken it away by then? He couldn't recall. His memories after the police came were blurred, stitched together with the haze of shock and trauma. He remembered blood, the silence, his mother’s stillness. Everything after felt like a dream he couldn’t wake from.
In his peripheral vision, he spotted Taishi standing near the white coffin, his shoulders trembling as he tried and failed to hold back tears. He wasn’t alone. People had been coming and going—friends, acquaintances, colleagues—all offering their condolences in hushed tones.
Until—
“This isn’t true!”
The room shifted. Heads turned toward the sudden outburst.
Takamine stood near the aisle, her voice cracking in disbelief, her eyes wide and brimming. “This isn’t true. Not true. Not true!” she sobbed, staggering toward the coffin. “Ai wouldn’t die like that!”
“Takamine…” Watanabe whispered, trying to hold her back, but Takamine shook her off violently.
“Why would she die?!” she cried out. “She was supposed to be the best of us!”
Watanabe, once composed, broke down beside her. Nearby, Ari and Meimei stood frozen. Ari, the usual voice of reason and control, was staring blankly at Ai’s coffin, while Meimei kept bowing and muttering apologies to those around them, desperate to contain the scene.
“I think they feel guilty…” Ruby murmured, her voice numb.
Aqua turned to her. She looked as detached as he felt.
“Why would they feel guilty?” he asked quietly.
She sighed. “Their relationship with Mam—Ai had already been rocky for years. And then Ma—Ai announced her retirement. I don’t know exactly what happened, but the morning after she told them, the atmosphere was awful.”
Aqua glanced around. The other two B-Komachi members weren’t here.
When it came to idol dynamics, Ruby always knew more than he did. Aqua absorbed her words in silence, his thoughts drifting once more.
He and Ruby had already been moved into the Saitou family register, so the media didn’t zero in on them. The nation—and even the world—mourned Ai. She had been Japan’s national idol, beloved by millions. In a rare move of decency, Miyako worked hard to keep the funeral private. Still, Aqua had no doubt that some reporters had slipped inside, their cameras hidden under coats or handbags. As long as they kept quiet—kept this from becoming a circus—he could stomach their presence.
A small, trembling hand slid into his.
Aqua turned to find Ruby beside him, her eyes shimmering. He squeezed her hand. She squeezed back, the pressure desperate and grounding.
When Mama died… when the police arrived… he was thankful they blocked Ruby’s view. They had taken her away before she could see too much.
But he had seen everything.
He remembered kneeling at Ai’s side, her eyes wide and empty, the sparkle gone. He’d held her hand, still warm then—before it started to cool. He’d curled up next to her, trying to listen for a heartbeat, hoping he had been wrong. But there had been nothing. Just silence. Just the sound of sirens approaching.
The police had taken him gently, almost like they were afraid he’d break apart if they touched him too suddenly. The interview afterward had been brief—they knew he was too young, and he hadn’t seen much of the killer. But the trauma counseling had lasted far longer. And even that didn’t feel like enough.
Now, in the silence of the funeral, Ruby was trying not to fall apart. So was he.
Miyako's voice broke through softly.
“If you want…” she hesitated, unsure. “You can wait in the car, if it’s too much for you.”
Ruby’s lips wobbled. She didn’t answer aloud, but she gave a small nod, still clinging to Aqua’s hand.
He didn’t let go.
If he wasn’t beside her every second, Aqua feared something might happen. Ruby was all he had left now. And for her sake, for Ai’s, he had to stay—stay strong, stay close.
He looked up at his mother’s photo again. Ai’s smile shone like sunlight, captured in a time they would never get back.
And he held Ruby’s hand tighter.
They were ushered into the familiar van afterward.
Both twins could feel their mother’s ghost lingering in the vehicle.
Aqua pulled his phone from his pocket. Ruby sat by the window, eyes scanning every guest outside—and then Ai herself.
“Mama said…” Ruby hesitated, voice soft. “She said I’d be an amazing idol.”
Aqua snapped his head toward her, disbelief written across his face. “Don’t you dare, Ruby.”
“What?” she frowned, confused by his sudden tone. “Mama believed I’d surpass her.”
“And die for it?!” Aqua barked. “Fuck that!”
Ruby flinched. He never cursed like that—never at her.
Aqua dragged his hands over his face. “If it’s money you want, there are better ways. Fans are selfish. The moment you have a boyfriend, they’ll turn on you like it’s their moral right.”
“Even so…” Her eyes shimmered. “Mama sparkled.”
A tight, hot anger bloomed in Aqua’s chest.
“Ruby, just give up on your dream.”
She stared at him, stunned. Her lips trembled. “After everything—after years of you supporting me… now you tell me to give up?”
“That’s not what I—Mama just died, Ruby!”
“If Mama were here, she’d support me no matter what!”
“She’s not here anymore!” he snapped.
Somehow, she looked even more broken than before.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, voice lower now. He stopped himself from reaching for her. “I just… Ruby…”
Ruby bit her lip, then nodded.
That was enough.
He leaned forward and hugged her tightly. Ruby clung to him.
“I’m sorry, Aqua,” she whispered. “But I can’t respect your wishes. I want to become an idol.”
“I know,” he said gently, running a hand over her hair. “And I can’t support that dream.”
“It’s fine,” she replied, even though they both knew it wasn’t. “I understand.” And she did.
As Aqua pulled away, something outside caught his eye—a familiar figure walking past the van.
“Wait, Ruby.” He opened the door, ignoring her surprised call, and stepped out, shutting it behind him.
The man had his back turned, but Aqua knew that silhouette.
“Mr. Kuroyama?”
The man stopped and turned. His eyes blinked down at Aqua.
“You’ve grown,” he said quietly.
“I’m ten now,” Aqua replied with a small shrug.
He expected Kuroyama to smirk, maybe crack a joke about Aqua’s acting future or ask about his current work. But instead, the man only nodded and turned his gaze toward Ai’s photo.
Then it clicked.
Right. They were exes.
Mama once mentioned their last conversation hadn’t ended well. Maybe Kuroyama was starting to feel guilty.
“I never thought she’d go like this,” the man murmured. “I thought… thirty years from now, I’d still see her…”
To Aqua’s quiet horror, tears began slipping down Kuroyama’s face.
Aqua politely looked away, giving him his privacy. Maybe he should return to Ruby—
Suddenly, pain lanced through his skull.
Aqua’s breath caught as his eyes widened. A memory surged forward, sharp and wrong.
The stalker who killed Mama—Aqua had always remembered him at their home.
But this time, the image was different. The man wasn’t in Ai’s house… he was outside of some hospital. Outside Gorou’s hospital. When Gorou was leaving to grab something from home.
Shit.
How had he forgotten that?
Then again… he was always forgetting things lately.
Panic clawing at him, Aqua bolted for the building and rushed into the nearest restroom, locking himself inside a stall.
Aqua panted, breath ragged from the sudden sprint—though it wasn’t the running that had winded him. It was an avalanche of memories crashing all at once. Like something had snapped. Or maybe… clicked.
It felt like he was finally accepting Gorou’s soul—fully, completely.
But how? After all this time?
He sank into the bathroom floor, back against the stall wall, staring up at the ceiling. Inhale. Exhale. His hands trembled as he tried to steady his breathing, but it did little to ease the pressure coiling in his chest.
Then came the snapshots. Clearer than ever.
Moments when Ai and Gorou bonded—those quiet months in the hospital, the soft beginnings of a friendship Aqua had somehow forgotten. But now, like a film reel spinning in reverse, it all played back.
Then came his childhood. Gorou’s childhood.
Aqua had always remembered the trauma, but like muted clips. Emotionally vivid, but visually blurred. That detachment helped him use those feelings in his acting. But now… now the images were sharp, present. And the emotions? Unbearable.
They choked him.
He coughed, his throat tightening like he was suffocating—but he wasn’t in danger. He knew he wasn’t. Yet his body reacted as if he was drowning in air.
Minutes passed—maybe hours?
When the flood finally slowed, Aqua glanced at his phone.
Only ten minutes.
He swallowed thickly, wiped the sweat from his temple, and forced himself to focus.
The stalker. That bastard.
That was the man who killed Gorou Amamiya.
How did he even find the hospital Ai was in? Aqua remembered now—he killed Gorou after demanding Ai’s condition. That lunatic hadn’t just been obsessed… he’d been informed.
Someone had given him that information.
Aqua's mind raced through the short list of people who knew where Ai lived: Ichigo, Miyako, Taishi, Ruby, and himself.
He trusted Ichigo. The man was paranoid, careful, and always took extra measures. Miyako and Taishi, too. They had no reason to betray Ai. And Ruby? That wasn’t even a question.
Then who?
He narrowed his eyes.
Mama…
Could it have been her?
Not intentionally. Never that. But… who had she told? Who had she trusted?
The B-Komachi.
Maybe he would've crossed them off the list—if only Ai’s relationship with them wasn’t so complicated. On the surface, they were close; Ai was the key to their rise. But Aqua remembered what Ruby told him—some of the girls were jealous of Ai, even resented her.
Still, the only one Ai might’ve contacted outside their circle with sensitive information—
Their father.
His stomach dropped.
That man—where was he? Surely he’d have shown up at the funeral by now, right? Aqua was an actor now; the man must’ve seen him. Recognized him.
And yet, nothing.
Maybe he’s the one. Or maybe Aqua is wrong.
“Shit,” Aqua muttered, fingers gripping the roots of his blond hair. “Shit. Shit. Shit.”
He needed to know who was behind this. Who gave that monster the information? Who let their mother die while pretending their hands were clean.
Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho—
He could still see it—Ai’s lifeless body. That image burned itself into the back of his eyes like a permanent stain.
I won’t rest.
His jaw clenched. I won’t stop until I find you.
And when I do—I’ll fucking kill you.
Aqua grinned manically, one eye dimmed into shadow.
***
Ruby and Miyako try to convince Aqua not to go through with the movie shoot today. Even Taishi offers to adjust the schedule.
But Aqua refuses.
Because, horrifyingly, it’s the perfect time to shoot this final scene.
“You don’t have to do this, prodigy,” the director mutters, placing a hand on Aqua’s shoulder.
Still, Aqua shakes his head, resolute.
From the corner of his eye, he spots Amachi Shinichi—their producer—watching their interaction. Aqua doesn’t blame the man for noticing how off he’s been since stepping into the building.
He’s memorized the lines. Ai’s corpse is etched in his mind. And the grief and vengeance his character carries… they’re perfectly aligned with real life.
Now is the time for Takagi and Gakano to mourn their mother—for 'The Vengeance From The Deaths' to reach its climax.
“Are you ready for this, Aqua?” Katayose Yura asks, sitting beside him.
Katayose plays Rei in the film, the immortal guardian of the twins. At nineteen, she offers him a smile, but the worry in her eyes betrays her calm.
“I’m fine,” Aqua replies softly.
She opens her mouth, likely to press further, but Taishi calls them over.
Aqua rises, relieved, and Katayose follows. They move to their mark: an abandoned building. Aqua’s wearing a ripped t-shirt; Katayose’s burn makeup stretches across her arm.
Their characters have just escaped the elders—murderers of their mother, now hunting them too. But Rei saved them in time.
They rehearse, the cameras hum, and the director nods.
Then: action.
Takagi and Gakano are breathless. Rei exhales, watching them.
Time ticks by. Gakano stares into space while Takagi, catching his breath, storms toward Rei.
“Let’s go back to her!” Takagi snaps.
Rei watches him with sorrow, pity clouding her gaze. “We can’t. She’s already—”
“No, no, no, no, no!” he cries, hugging himself tightly. “You were supposed to protect her!”
“It wasn’t my duty to protect her alone, but both—”
“I don’t care!”
Everyone on set holds their breath. Even Katayose, watching Aqua, looks stunned.
She swallows as Aqua’s glare pierces through her—pure rage and grief swimming in his eyes.
The staff exchange glances, shocked. Shinichi looks intrigued. Taishi looks grim.
“You’re useless,” Tagaki growls. “Pathetic. Some guardian you are—”
Katayose flinches, blocking Takagi’s weak punches. “Please stop—”
“Bring her back!” he screams. “You’re supposed to be a deity, so bring her back!”
“I don’t have that power—”
“Bring her back!” Takagi sobs, fists pounding against Rei. “I want my mom back! Bring her back, bring her back, bring her back!”
Rei—no, Katayose—begins to cry, gazing at Aqua with raw anguish. “I’m so, so sorry, Takagi.”
Takagi bolts out the door. Katayose follows. Gakano remains frozen.
“Cut!” The director shouted afterwards, barely swallowig his grief for the boy who lost his mother.
Silence falls over the room. Then Aqua and Katayose return for the next shot. Aqua takes Gakano’s spot. Katayose heads to the director.
A staff member approaches Aqua with makeup tools. After all, Gakano hasn’t cried yet—at least not outwardly.
“Director…” Katayose whispers. “Is Aqua okay?”
“He’s fine.” But Taishi can hear how he’s lying to himself and to the other people. But he can't exactly say Aqua’s mother was just murdered, so he instead says. “There’s a reason he’s one of the best child actors.”
Katayose opens her mouth again, but Shinichi cuts in with bright sparkling eyes. Taishi inwardly rolls his eyes.
“That kid Aqua is amazing,” Shinichi says, eyes shining. “Infinite potential.” He turns to Katayose. “Great job, by the way. That final moment when you cried? Felt catatonic.”
Katayose grimaces. “That wasn’t intentional.” She sighs. “It was Aqua. He brought me there.”
Shinichi raises an eyebrow, then smiles. “That boy… he’s something else.”
Normally, Taishi would chime in with his own praise. But today isn’t normal. Today is the aftermath of Ai’s death.
Once everyone’s ready—including Aqua—they resume.
And like always, Aqua doesn’t need direction. His body, his eyes—they’re already exactly where they need to be. He stares at the wall, then the space where Takagi had just screamed.
Gakano speaks.
“This is my fault…” he whispers. “If I wasn’t so cocky—if I planned better—then mom wouldn’t have…”
His eyes fill with tears, though his face remains blank. Emotionless. Just… leaking.
“Yeah… concrete plan…” he murmurs, lips curling into a wide, dead-eyed grin. “I’ll kill them. I’ll kill the ones who murdered mama. That’s the plan.”
A chuckle. Then a laugh. Then a chilling cackle.
Taishi shivers. Even Shinichi shifts in his seat, uncomfortable.
“Yes! I’ll kill them!” Gakano’s blue eyes, void of light, stare at the ceiling as laughter and tears pour out in equal measure. “Don’t worry, mama. I’ll kill them! Whoever the person killed you!”
Taishi waits just a beat longer and—
“Cut!”
After the final scene, the crew instinctively gives Aqua some space to cool down. His performance had drained the room of its breath, but the boy himself looked like he was made of stone—quiet, stiff, distant.
Despite the subtle encouragement and effusive praise from those around him, Aqua doesn't linger. In fact, he wants to go home. That much is clear. Every compliment seems to make him shrink further into himself, and Taishi can tell: Aqua isn’t proud of what just happened. He’s not basking in praise—he's enduring it.
When Miyako arrives, Aqua surprises everyone by allowing her to carry him. It's a small moment, but deeply telling. Aqua never lets anyone carry him—not like this, not since he was a much smaller boy. But today, nothing is normal. Not after everything.
Some staff murmur among themselves, thinking Aqua’s clinginess is just a reaction to the heavy emotions of the final scene. But they had a high suspicion Aqua's action was caused by his adopted sister's death—Ai. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're not.
Later, when Taishi gets home, Miyako quietly informs him that Aqua slept the entire ride back—hadn’t stirred once in the van—and continued sleeping through the day. She says it gently, but there's worry in her voice, a quiet crack in her usual calm.
Taishi doesn’t miss it. He feels it too.
And then there’s that final detail, the one Taishi can’t shake: the last thing Aqua screamed on set wasn’t ‘mom.’ It was ‘mama.’
It shouldn’t mean much.
But somehow, it does.
And it scares him.
Notes:
If it's still not clear... Aqua doesn't know who murdered Ai. It's not only his father who is a suspect, but also the B-Komachi (kdiaiweyfhnkenpje I CANT WAIT TO WRITE EVERY MEMBER OF THE B-KOMACHI. THEY ARE GOING BE BATSHIT CRAZY TO EXPLORE.)
Chapter 22: Book 1: End of the Prologue
Summary:
“Good morning, Ruby.” She tries to smile, but it falters, collapsing into something more like a grimace.
Ruby tilts her head. “What happened?”
Miyako opens her mouth but hesitates—swallowing back something thick in her throat. The silence lingers, heavy and uncertain. Ruby starts to wonder if she should change the subject.
Suddenly, Aqua’s door slams open upstairs, making both Ruby and Miyako jump. The sound of fast, heavy footsteps on the stairs builds with intensity.
Aqua storms into the room, breathless, eyes wide and haunted.
“I saw the news,” he says, voice tight.
Notes:
Warning; Mentions of ideation suicide and suicide attempt
Gentle Reminder:
- Like I tagged on my fic, there will be no incest but Ruby's love towards Gorou will stay because I wanted to explore that aspect of her character, especially when she was a traumatize kid who only had Gorou back then. Is it love? Or just attachment? Maybe both? Or is Gorou really just special person to her? Did she really wanted romance with him? Yeah, as a writer, I'd really like to pick apart Sarina/Ruby's brain. The canon did NOT do her justice.
- Speaking about romance... There will be no explicit endgame of each ships, it's going to be open ending. Still, romance will become one of the big part in the story because it will help both Aqua and Ruby growth. Also, I already tagged this fic as mature, so please don't be surprise when there are sudden violence or sex in this story. For the thriller part, it's going to be explicit but the sex will be non-explicit. With that said, the fic is still going to explore the entertainment industry and there will be loads of fluff before the revenge plot takes over. Anyway, after I end this fic, I might write a few fics where each ships became an explicit endgame. An AU of an AU of sorts.
- As for Ruby's romance... I updated the relationship tags (I headcanon Ruby as bisexual. Right now though, Ruby thinks she's straight). So as you can see, it's not only Aqua who's going to be in a love triangle lol. I love both Melt and Frill, two of those have been done justice in canon. I'm sad of the lack of Frill in canon, but don't worry I'll utilize her character well, especially during Dark Ruby arc.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“I love you, sensei! Please marry me!” Sarina beamed as she threw her arms around the doctor she adored.
For a moment, Dr. Gorou Amamiya froze, his body stiff with hesitation. Then he let out an exasperated sigh—half-tired, half-indulgent—like someone long used to her antics but unable to resist softening toward her.
Sarina giggled. Her doctor was such a softie at heart.
“That would be the end of my social life,” Gorou replied dryly, though his eyes were warm. “So, for the last time—no.”
“What a moralist,” she huffed, playfully pouting as she turned her face away.
She’d proposed to him more times than she could count. Every time, he turned her down—gently at first, then firmly, and now with teasing familiarity. Sarina knew the answer wouldn’t change, but Gorou always humored her, if only to see her light up again.
And really, she’d take a clear "no" over a lie spoken with a perfect smile and dead eyes any day. Sarina shook her thoughts about the people who never visited her again.
Still… it would’ve been nice… to be loved back, even once.
Sarina hadn’t known high school, or true friendship, or what it was like to chase a dream. She would never get married.
But if she couldn’t have any of that… then maybe, just maybe, being loved…truly loved—could’ve been enough.
Because at twelve years old, Sarina knew she was going to die soon.
Maybe Gorou saw something in her eyes. Because his expression softened, and just before she turned away again, he spoke.
“When you turn sixteen,” he said, arms crossing as he looked out the window, voice quiet, “I’ll think about it.”
Her eyes widened. Then her smile turned wistful.
“Sixteen, huh?” she murmured, and laughed lightly. Despite seeing his change to be the kind person he is today, Gorou Amamiya is still a— “You’re such a meanie, sensei.”
Gorou shrugged, as if it was the most reasonable thing in the world. “I think it’s a fair deal.”
Sarina didn’t argue. She just smiled.
They both knew—everyone in the hospital knew—that she wouldn’t live to see her thirteenth birthday. But she also knew that Gorou hadn’t given up on her. Not once.
And for all the kindness he gave her, Sarina gave him her belief. His sensei deserves that much.
She would try. Try to survive. Try to keep breathing. Try to make it just one more day.
That was the only way Sarina could say thank you to the man who never treated her like a lost cause.
And who knows? Maybe, just maybe, she’d get to rub it in his face one day—that he’d have to keep his promise.
So yes. Sarina would try to live.
Even if it hurts.
Even if it was the hardest thing in the world.
***
Ruby wakes up from the same dream over and over again.
It grounded her after everything that happened.
Staring at the ceiling of her new bedroom, Ruby was determined to keep living in the world that was unfair to her.
For the two people who are not here by her side, Ruby is going to become an idol for her mama and for sensei.
Mama and sensei would be proud.
And maybe there's a chance sensei would find her.
***
It’s a quiet Saturday afternoon when Ruby decides to stop by Strawberry Production. Aqua is off filming the final scene of his movie, and she needs to clear her head.
She slips on her earpads and presses play on an old B-Komachi song—one from when she was still Sarina.
The melody stirs something deep in her as she steps into the studio, her limbs beginning to move almost instinctively. She sways like a ballerina, light on her feet, arms gliding through the air as she begins to choreograph something new. Something just hers.
Her steps are soft and weightless, then she lets the rhythm guide her into a blend of old and new: her own style merging with fragments of her mother’s iconic moves. Each motion flows with elegance and freedom, but beneath the dance, her thoughts drift.
Social media has been relentless since Ai’s death.
Is the concert even happening now?
If Ai's not there, I’m out.
Yikes. Can’t believe they’re still pushing the group even after she just died.
LMAO, is Ari seriously trying to replace Ai?
Maybe B-Komachi’s relieved she’s gone.
Ruby tries to dance past the noise, and tries to silence it with motion.
She spins, letting the momentum carry her. Her right foot presses into the floor before she springs upward in a burst of energy, arms wide like an explosion. Her landing is graceful, but her usual smile is missing.
She lifts her right arm toward the ceiling but not with Ai’s bubbly joy, but with something quieter, more hopeful. A gentler kind of longing.
Her fingers graze her cheek, then snap outward as she moves her feet in a sharp rhythm, a sudden flick of her wrist punctuating the silence around her.
It’s not just a dance.
It’s a memory. A protest. A prayer.
And she’s not done yet.
I notice Nino wasn't there at the funeral?
Takamine crying during Ai's funeral??? Dramatic bitch
B-komachi should disappear. What's the point anyway???
As a B-komachi hater, I'm living this era.
LOL who are the people going to watch them when their cash cow is now gone?
Honestly, Kyuu or Takamine or anyone in the group should've died, not Ai.
She pants softly, catching her breath before repeating the choreography at the chorus. Her body sways to the cheerful music, graceful and light. With a precise kick, Ruby pivots again, her movements echoing a ballerina’s poise.
Ruby twirls her arms, then curls her hands into fists and crosses them over her chest. A moment later, her arms spread wide, followed by a clap as she spins. She stops on the beat, thrusting her arms to the left while her body turns right, dancing faster now. Matching every move to the rhythm.
“Ruby?”
She freezes. The music still plays.
Miyako stands nearby, watching her with a sad smile—the kind that stings. Ruby averts her gaze.
Without a word, Miyako walks over to the couch and picks up Ruby’s phone, tapping it to pause the music in her earpads. Ruby frowns, about to protest—she still needs to dance—but Miyako gently interrupts her.
“It’s been hours, Ruby. You've been dancing since this morning.”
Ruby blinks, startled. Her eyes dart to the wall clock, and Miyako’s right. She hadn’t even noticed the time passing.
“Oh.” She murmurs. “I didn’t realize…”
“It’s alright.” Miyako smiles again, soft but tinged with concern. “It was honestly kind of amazing. You kept making new moves for every song.”
Ruby hesitates. “Wait… did I accidentally play the remix Mama made?”
“Last I checked, yes.”
“Ah.”
Silence settles between them, thick and hesitant. Ruby is about to ask how things are going at Strawberry Production—what’s left of it—when Miyako’s phone rings.
Miyako flashes her an apologetic look before stepping aside to answer. Ruby walks over to her own phone, ignoring the pile of notifications. Messages. Comments. Fights.
She’s been arguing with strangers online for days. Anyone disrespecting Mama, anyone mocking B-Komachi, anyone pretending to care.
Normally, she would’ve jumped in again. But now… she doesn’t have the energy. All the anger in her has nowhere to go.
Especially when the stalker who fucking killed Mama is already dead.
“We need to pick up your brother,” Miyako says after ending the call.
Ruby frowns. “It’s his last day on set, right? Shouldn’t they be celebrating or something?”
She glances out the window. The afternoon light is soft, fading slowly.
A crow glides past.
“Aqua asked to come home,” Miyako says gently. “Let’s grab something to eat on the way. I’m sure you’re hungry too.”
Ruby nods wordlessly. And this time, she doesn’t argue.
***
Ruby wakes up sluggish, the kind of heaviness that makes her want to stay in bed forever.
She stares at the unfamiliar ceiling, then at the unfamiliar walls. She stretches lazily in this unfamiliar bed that was supposed to be her bunk bed.
For ten minutes, she just lies there, unmoving. When she assumes it’s been fifteen, she finally decides she should probably get up for breakfast.
But not before her eyes drift toward the family photo on her nightstand. She stares at it for five more minutes.
When she steps out of her room, the scent of food is in the air, but it’s Miyako that catches her attention first. She’s on the phone, her back rigid, her expression taut with barely-contained emotion.
“What’s wrong?” Ruby asks softly, making her presence known.
Miyako flinches at the sound of her voice. Her eyes are red-rimmed, her lips trembling despite the effort to keep them steady. She turns toward Ruby in surprise, then quickly ends the call.
“Good morning, Ruby.” She tries to smile, but it falters, collapsing into something more like a grimace.
Ruby tilts her head. “What happened?”
Miyako opens her mouth but hesitates, swallowing back something thick in her throat. The silence lingers, heavy and uncertain. Ruby starts to wonder if she should change the subject.
Suddenly, Aqua’s door slams open upstairs, making both Ruby and Miyako jump. The sound of fast, heavy footsteps on the stairs builds with intensity.
Aqua storms into the room, breathless, eyes wide and haunted.
“I saw the news,” he says, voice tight.
Miyako physically recoils, grief flashing openly in her eyes.
“The news?” Ruby echoes, looking between them.
“You haven’t seen it?” Aqua asks, incredulous. And honestly, it’s a fair question. Between the two of them, Ruby's usually the one glued to the internet.
But lately, she’s been avoiding it like the plague.
Instead of answering, Ruby simply rolls her eyes at his tone and snatches his phone from his hand. Fortunately, the screen’s still unlocked.
“Hey—wait, Ruby, don’t—” Aqua starts.
But it's already too late.
She reads the headline.
Breaking: Idol Watanabe Ari of B-Komachi Hospitalized After Fall from Rooftop—Suspected Suicide Attempt.
Ruby’s breath catches in her throat. Her hands tremble, and Aqua barely catches his phone before it slips from her grip.
Without a word, Ruby spins on her heel and rushes to the nearest bathroom. Miyako followed her, trying to comfort Ruby with words.
But it's not working.
***
Ruby wishes the past couple of weeks could blur into nothing, but instead, every detail clings to her like static. She remembers everything—every conversation, every headline, every fracture in her family’s voice.
Ichigo is trying to salvage Strawberry Productions’ image, but anyone with eyes can see he’s at the end of his rope. First Ai, now Watanabe. The cracks are showing. And naturally, Miyako is doing what she can to support her husband, standing beside him in press briefings, trying to steady the sinking ship.
But Ruby sees the truth. Despite their efforts, the media is out for blood.
They say Ai should have had tighter security—how could a superstar idol be left so exposed in her own home? They criticize Ichigo for not protecting his talents better, for not addressing the mental health of the B-Komachi girls. According to the press, Watanabe’s death was on the agency’s shoulders.
As if that wasn’t enough, Ai’s home address leaked online. The place where Ruby, Aqua, and their mother built their life—where they laughed, ate dinner, and watched silly TV shows together—was suddenly transformed into some twisted fan pilgrimage site. People even started offering to buy the house. Ruby couldn’t stand it.
The only saving grace is that Ai had already signed the house over to Ruby and Aqua on paper. Legally, it’s still theirs. And by sheer luck, they’d moved their things out before the leak, now living in Ichigo and Miyako’s spacious mansion.
But none of that makes her feel better.
With a heavy sigh, Ruby locks herself in her room again. She can’t bear to see Miyako or Ichigo right now. Their marriage feels as fragile as everything else, thin glass underfoot.
She flops onto the bed, phone in hand, opening her gallery. Her eyes land on a photo of the three of them—Ai, Aqua, and herself. Her fingers hover over the option to make it her wallpaper, but she doesn’t. She can’t.
Ai had taken the truth to her grave. She never wanted the world to know she had children. She only ever wanted to retire quietly and finally spend time with her family. That wish died with her.
If the truth got out now, in the middle of this media frenzy, it would destroy Strawberry Productions for good. Maybe it already is.
Ruby swallows the lump in her throat and lies back, still staring at the photo. Her vision starts to blur. It’s becoming routine now—eyes stinging, heart aching.
They were supposed to have a family day after Mama’s retirement.
Her lips tremble.
"I love you."
Those were mama’s last words.
Ruby didn’t say it back. She just froze—too stunned, too slow, too stupid.
Now, all she can do is stare at this photo, as if it might somehow bring Ai back. But her mother’s smile is frozen in time, captured in pixels.
"I love you too, Mama," Ruby whispers, too late.
She scrolls to her videos and hits play. Old footage of B-Komachi fills the screen—music videos, dance practices, concert snippets. Ai is right there, full of life. Watanabe flashes on screen too, and for a moment Ruby feels sick, but she pushes through it.
She’s here for her mom.
Ai shines like a sunburst, smiling so brightly it almost hurts to look. The crowd adored her. Her fellow idols followed her lead. She was everything.
There was even a memory that Ruby still remembers as Sarina... Sensei always lit up whenever Ai was on the screen, especially when it's obvious how tired Gorou was from work and yet every burden was lifted from his shoulder once Ai appeared.
She can't blame her sensei when Ruby felt the same as he did.
Ruby stares at that smile and thinks: I want to smile like that too.
So she makes a quiet promise to herself. Every hour. Every day.
She’ll keep watching. Keep learning.
And maybe—someday—she’ll shine like Ai did.
***
Ruby’s daily routine doesn’t change. She still goes to school, dances, and practices her instrument.
But nothing feels the same.
If anything, things at home are worse—far worse than she ever imagined.
She sees it in Ichigo’s eyes at the dinner table: a hollow sort of hopelessness. He barely speaks. Miyako keeps trying to keep him afloat, constantly offering comfort, trying to carry the weight of a family that’s crumbling.
And Aqua…
Aqua is even quieter than before. More withdrawn. Ruby sometimes catches a dark glint in his eyes—a cold, unreadable look that scares her more than anything. She doesn’t know what it means, and she’s not sure she wants to.
Their conversations are nothing more than robotic exchanges:
“Good morning.”
“Goodnight.”
“Did you finish the homework?”
Just fragments. No warmth. No connection.
After breakfast, Ruby locks herself in her room and sits on the bed, staring at the family photo on her nightstand.
As Sarina, she’s used to being alone. Surrounded by doctors and nurses, yes, but truly alone. Only Gorou Amamiya ever made that life bearable.
But in this life, she once knew what it felt like to be part of something warm. A home. A mother.
Now, she feels that same crushing solitude again.
At school, she’s friendly with everyone, smiles easily, and talks to classmates. But none of them are truly close. Her schedule has always been packed—lessons and rehearsals. There was never time to build real friendships.
She reaches for her phone and presses play on a video of Ai. There she is—smiling, dancing, glowing like always.
Ai smiles through everything. And somehow, she makes everything around her brighter. Strong. Brilliant. Unshakable.
She really is a genius, Ruby thinks. A true idol.
And Ruby wants—needs—to be like her.
Maybe, if she can become more like Mama, she can bring light back into this house. Make it feel less like a tomb.
Because everywhere Ai goes, the world seems to glow with her.
By the time lunch and then dinner comes, Ruby notices Ichigo hasn’t returned. Miyako paces, anxiously biting her thumb, glancing at her phone every few seconds.
Ruby doesn’t ask. Neither does Aqua. But she knows he’s noticed, too.
Night falls, and like most nights now, Ruby can’t sleep.
I miss Mama…
Before she can talk herself out of it, she finds herself in front of Aqua’s door.
She exhales shakily and knocks, just loud enough for him to hear. “Aqua… are you still awake?”
There’s a pause, then soft rummaging inside. Footsteps.
The door opens.
Aqua stands there, face drawn and pale. He frowns slightly. “What’s wrong?”
His usual neutral expression is gone. This one is emptier, as if the light in him has dimmed completely.
Something inside Ruby cracks. Her eyes fill with tears.
His expression shifts—just slightly, but it’s enough. Concern flickers in his gaze.
“Come inside,” he says gently, reaching for her hand.
She lets him pull her into his room. The door shuts quietly behind them.
And then Ruby can’t hold it in anymore.
She throws her arms around Aqua’s neck and begins to sob, her whole body shaking as grief pours out of her like floodwater. She cries for the life they lost. For the future their mother will never have. For the home that’s slowly being swallowed by silence.
Aqua doesn’t say anything. He just holds her. And eventually, she feels his arms start to tremble too.
She feels it in her hair, the damp warmth of his tears.
They sink to the floor together, still clinging to one another.
Neither of them speaks. They don’t have to.
All Ruby can do is cry. And all Aqua can do is hold her. As the night blurs around them, two siblings sit in the wreckage of their grief, the only comfort left to each other.
***
Ruby wakes up with an arm draped over her shoulder.
The first thing she sees is Aqua, fast asleep beside her, his body curled protectively around hers.
I’m so lucky to have a twin like Aqua.
She doesn’t move. Maybe if she stays like this, Aqua won’t go back to being cold and distant like he has the past few weeks. Ruby hates how careful they’ve become around each other—tiptoeing through their conversations, pretending everything is fine when it isn’t.
She misses the Aqua who teases her, who supports her, who smiles with her and Mama.
But then… she feels something wet and sticky between her thighs.
Panic blooms in her chest. Ruby throws off the blanket, startling Aqua awake.
“What’s wrong, Ruby—?”
She screams.
Aqua bolts upright, instantly alert. “What is it?!”
Ruby can’t even speak. She just points at the blood streaming down her thighs, her mouth opening and closing in horror.
“Ah,” Aqua says.
Her eyes snap to him. “‘Ah’?! What do you mean ‘ah’?! There’s blood, Aqua! I’m bleeding! Am I dying?!”
Aqua blinks slowly, his expression unreadable. Ruby could smack him.
Stupid, stupid, stupid brother. She takes back what she said about being lucky.
“Ruby…” he says, narrowing his eyes. “Do you not know what menstruation is?”
“Mens—what?”
Aqua stands up, muttering, “I had a suspicion, but I can’t believe you let me assume your mental age…”
Ruby freezes. But he doesn’t say anything more. He just gives her a look and says, “Stay here. I’ll make you some hot chocolate and grab pads from Mom’s drawer.”
Too stunned to respond, Ruby just blinks.
Five minutes later, when the panic has dulled into anxious silence, Aqua returns—holding a cup and a small pack of sanitary pads.
“She left us breakfast and a note,” he says while closing the door. “That never happens. Have you seen Mom?”
Ruby shakes her head. No, Miyako rarely leaves them alone. Something about it doesn’t sit right.
Aqua winces. “Figures. Which means I have to teach you this…”
He sighs and hands her the cup. “Okay. Menstruation—your period—is normal. It happens when girls hit puberty. You’ll get it every month now.”
Ruby stares at him like he’s explaining quantum physics.
“So… I’m not dying?”
“No. It’s just your body doing what it’s supposed to do. It sucks, I know, but it’s not the end of the world.” He pauses. “Still can’t believe you didn’t know.”
Ruby winces. “I—uh—I mean…” She trails off. Crap.
And just like that, Aqua launches into a monotone explanation about puberty, periods, and how to wear pads. Ruby wants to crawl under the bed and disappear. She’s horrified, especially when she sees the blood stain on Aqua’s mattress. Crying out of sheer embarrassment, she buries her face in her hands.
But Aqua remains calm as he pats her head. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be ashamed. This is normal.”
And… he doesn’t ask about her real age. Maybe he’s respecting her privacy, or maybe he doesn’t want to confront it yet. Ruby’s not sure. Aqua can act like a grown man one moment, and a real kid the next.
In the end, maybe it doesn’t matter to Aqua. After all, they grow up together and learn to love each other as a family. Their past selves aren’t as significant as they were since they were babies.
“You’re surprisingly mature for your age,” Aqua mutters, almost to himself. “But I get where the immaturity comes from…” Then he adds under his breath, “Can’t believe someone knows about virgin conception and not menstruation…”
“Who said anything about virgin conception?!”
“You did,” he replies flatly. “When we were toddlers. You said Mama had a ‘virgin contraption.’”
“I was joking! I didn’t think you remembered!”
“Yeah, I don’t know if I should believe you anymore.”
Ruby scowls. “I swear, I’m going to hit you.”
But secretly, she’s relieved. Aqua is joking with her again. Teasing her.
After that strange morning, something between them shifts. Aqua doesn’t pull away anymore. He returns to sitting beside her like always. They bicker, laugh, and share small, quiet moments again.
Yet, the dark glint in Aqua’s eyes doesn’t disappear.
And Ruby can’t shake the feeling that something has changed—not just between them, but within her brother.
Since that night—the night she breaks down in his arms, and the morning she thinks she’s dying—Aqua has become oddly protective. Watchful.
Maybe it’s because he’s decided, without saying it, that he’s the older sibling now. That he has to protect her.
Ruby doesn’t mind.
Even if it hurts to admit it… she needs him too.
Miyako comes back around lunchtime, her eyes rimmed red, her expression solemn. She doesn’t announce her return—just quietly slips into the house and locks herself in her room. Ruby doesn’t need to ask to know something is wrong.
The next day, Ruby asks about their dad. But Miyako falls suspiciously silent, brushing off the question like it doesn’t exist. She doesn’t even try to lie—just avoids it. Ruby lets it go. For now.
But as Ichigo's absence stretches into days, Ruby feels a cold weight settle in her stomach. A gnawing dread tells her what no one will say aloud.
She hates how quiet everything becomes. How Miyako shrinks into herself. How Aqua’s silences grow longer and heavier. Ruby wants it to stop. She wants her family back.
So one morning, she wakes up earlier than anyone else. The sky outside is still pale, and she knows both Miyako and Aqua are still asleep. Determined, Ruby tiptoes into the kitchen and decides to cook breakfast.
She remembers watching Mama—Ai—make omelettes. Ruby tries to copy what she’s seen. The eggs don’t come out perfect, a little too soft in some places, too browned in others. But it’s breakfast.
When Aqua comes down, rubbing his eyes and looking half-asleep, he pauses when he sees the table.
“You cooked?” he asks, blinking.
Ruby grins. “You’re awake!”
He peers at the plate. “At least it looks edible.”
“Oh my, Ruby!” Miyako gasps as she reaches the bottom of the stairs. “It’s dangerous to cook alone!”
“It’s fine, Mom!” Ruby says with a cheerful laugh. “Think of it as trial and error! Next time, maybe it’ll be perfect.”
Miyako tilts her head, confused by her brightness, but nods slowly. “Perhaps.”
Aqua gives her a look. “You’re awfully cheerful this morning.”
Ruby pouts at him. “Your name should officially be changed to Mr. Brooding.”
“Hey.”
“I’m kidding! You should just say thank you.” She leans in and teases, “Thank me properly.”
He sighs. “Fine. Thank you… that it’s edible.”
“Ehhh?” Ruby grins. “Didn’t catch that—maybe drop the ‘edible’ part?”
Aqua rolls his eyes, but Ruby catches the faint curve of a smile. It vanishes too quickly, but she knows it’s been there.
That’s fine. She has time. She can bring his smile back.
She looks over at Miyako. Their mother is watching them with a tired smile, her eyes filled with a tenderness that doesn’t match the dark bags beneath them.
“Oh, Mom!” Ruby pulls out a chair and gestures to it proudly. “Sit down!”
“You don’t have to—”
“But I want to~!” Ruby cuts her off with a sing-song drawl and smirks. “No buts!”
“If you’re sure…”
“Mmm!” Ruby nods enthusiastically, then tugs on Aqua’s elbow. “Help me with the plates.”
“Oi—!”
Despite the grumbling, he helps. And for a while, the house feels a little warmer.
Aqua's eyes soften. Miyako smiles with more warmth. The weight on their shoulders feels lighter, even if just for a moment.
It’s exhausting—making that perfect smile Mama always wore on stage and in front of cameras—but for Miyako and Aqua, Ruby will do it every day.
So she grins and bears it. Pretends everything is fine.
Even when she finds out that Ichigo has left without saying goodbye to Miyako, Ruby keeps up the act. She smiles, comforts them, and makes the atmosphere lighter.
Miyako is heartbroken. Aqua, despite his cold mask, looks just as shaken.
Ruby isn’t planning to follow Aqua’s footsteps into acting. But that doesn’t mean she hasn’t learned how to perform.
And right now, the role of the cheerful little sister is hers alone to play.
***
Three days after they learned that Ichigo had ghosted them—vanishing without a word, not just from their lives but from the company too—Miyako finally sat them down.
The three of them gathered in the living room. Ruby masked the sting of betrayal with a tentative smile, trying not to let it show. Aqua, on the other hand, looked like he had already accepted it, like he’d filed it away as just another harsh truth of life.
Their mother gave them a wobbly smile, the kind that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“What do you think about going to America?” she asked.
If Ruby had been drinking something, she would've spit it all over the floor.
***
Celebrity news
@Pop
It was suspected this photo is for the person who murdered Ai from B-Komachi.
[Attached article from a website named Ai_Fan]
[Attached image: the picture contains written letters in an old floor in some abandoned building, the letters were written using blood. It says “I'll kill you, no matter how long it takes” there's a white roses surrounding it.]
143 replies 987 retweets 2.4k hearts
Ai_Fan
@B-komachiFan
Isn't the murderer dead? Last I checked the news, he killed himself in his own home
97 replies 786 retweets 1k hearts
^
Jessica_Aigirly
@Shujima
Many suspects the murderer has accomplice but the case is now close though
54 replies 888 retweets 1.1k hearts
Simp of Ai
@BKomachi_forever
Normally, I don't condone murder but fuck, I'm so frustrated and heartbroken. The person who allegedly helped the murderer kill Ai should be punished
107 replies 1.4k retweets 3k hearts
Notes:
FINALLY THE PROLOGUE OFFICIALLY ENDED
I hope it's obvious at the end of the chapter, Aqua and Ruby's dynamic has been shifted drastically, especially Aqua found out he's the older sibling (there's also the fact Aqua has his own regrets as Gorou towards his past sister). Also, Aqua didn't ask further about Ruby's past life because it really doesn't matter to him. The two of them had been family for years and formed a strong bond to each other. To Aqua, Ruby is always the Ruby he grew up with. And Aqua knows Ruby doesn't want to disclose her past life, so there's that. The identity reveal will waaaaaaay long.
Speaking of long...
This fic might reach 90+ chapters, if I get unlucky.
All the readers will practically watch our main characters grow up in here, because at the end of this fic, Aqua and Ruby will be 32 years old
Anyway there's going to be a time skip. Also, the arc will be "who is Aqua?" (because Ruby is going to be the main focus... and the other characters)
Speaking of how I'll do the dual protagonist thing, it will be the same as canon where each of the sibling has their own focus. I hope my writing will have a better execution in that department... I really hope...
Chapter 23: Book 2: Arima Kana
Notes:
I AM BACK GUYS
(Got busy between writing the book 2 of this and also getting sick woiffqowyp98)
Also time skip is here (3 years)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Arima Kana was once called a genius actor.
Used to— and as much as Kana hates admitting it, the phrase clings to her like a stain she can’t scrub off.
“Next contestant, please come up to the stage,” says a voice from the judges’ table.
Kana flinches, startled, then quickly composes herself. Maybe it’s nerves. Maybe it’s just the weight of what this means.
She steps forward.
Kana has been in the spotlight for as long as she can remember. A national child star. People used to crowd around her, whisper her name like it meant something magical. So no, it’s not the attention that makes her hands clammy or her stomach churn.
It’s what they aren’t saying.
Of course she feels it—the quiet judgment. The ‘what’s she doing here?’ looks. The curiosity edged with doubt.
“Hello, I’m Arima Kana,” she says brightly, meeting the judges’ gazes head on. “Nice to meet everyone… though I think most people already know me.”
A few audience members chuckle. Others offer polite, knowing smiles.
Kana holds onto that flicker of amusement like a lifeline. She’s still good at this, working the crowd. Years of acting and variety shows have taught her how to put on a face. If she can get just a little buzz going again, maybe her career won’t be a total lost cause.
“Arima Kana,” one of the judges, a man with kind eyes and a polished voice, says with a smile. It’s Shinichi Amachi. “You’re a well-known actress in the country. Why the sudden career change?”
Everyone knows damn well why. Her career has crashed and burned slowly right in front of the public eye until they’re practically waiting for her to fade away.
Kana doesn’t let her smile falter. Years in the industry have trained her well to never show cracks.
Direct lies aren’t her strong suit, but misdirection? That she can manage.
“While I was acting, I realized I had a knack for singing and dancing,” she says smoothly.
A few people snicker, she can almost hear the collective memory of the infamous bell pepper dance playing in their heads.
Kana resists the urge to roll her eyes and keeps smiling. “Now that I’m growing up, I think it’s time I explored something new.”
The judges nod as if that makes perfect sense. And, to be fair, it’s not uncommon for child actors to pivot as they age out of their niche.
“Well then,” one of them says, still smiling, “show us what you’ve got.”
Kana takes center stage, lifts her chin, and breathes in deeply.
She’s going to prove them wrong.
She begins to sing and dance.
***
After the last contestant leaves the stage, the judges announce a fifteen-minute break.
Not that Kana cares. She slumps in her chair, replaying her audition over and over again in her head.
It was a complete disaster. Still, at least she’s allowed to sit in the audience section, right where seat number 15 is marked.
She’s not expecting much more than that. She can sing and dance, sure—but her talent has never been in the idol department. She knows that. Everyone knows that.
Kana stares blankly at the stage, numb, the image of the judges’ disappointed expressions etched into her mind.
“You’re Arima Kana?!”
Kana turns to glance at the girl who’s just sat beside her, in seat sixteen.
“I am,” she replies, her tone flat. But the lack of enthusiasm doesn’t seem to bother the girl at all. In fact, she lights up even more.
“That’s amazing!” the girl exclaims. “I can’t believe Arima Kana is here!”
She’s got long hair, grey at the top, turning black toward the ends. And her red eyes gleam with excitement, glowing under the lights. It’s... an unusual color, but striking.
This girl’s appearance is perfect for being an idol.
Kana recognizes her. This girl danced well during her audition. Fluid movements, precise steps. She suspects she’s had modern dance or gymnastics training. There was a sharpness and grace to her performance that didn’t come from raw instinct alone.
“Ah, right! I forgot to introduce myself!” the girl says, raising a hand in front of Kana’s chest with a bright smile. “I’m Mei Adashino. I used to be a child theatre actress.”
Theatre actress? Kana almost scowls. The mention brings a certain someone to mind.
“Nice to meet you too,” she replies, managing a polite smile as she shakes Mei’s hand.
If this were years ago, Kana wouldn’t have even acknowledged her. But she’s learned the hard way that kindness goes a long way in this industry, even if it’s just for appearances.
Before Mei can say more, another contestant is called to the stage, and the break ends.
Both girls instinctively turn to look. Most of the contestants after Kana have been disappointing. They have shaky vocals, clumsy dancing, stage fright written all over them. Mei’s been the only standout so far.
So Kana braces for another underwhelming performance.
But then—
A blonde girl steps onstage, calm and smiling. Her magenta eyes shimmer with confidence as she faces the judges.
Woah . Kana blinks. That girl has an amazing stage aura.
She looks... familiar.
“My name is Hoshino Ruby,” the girl says brightly. “It’s a pleasure to be here and to meet all of you!”
Kana’s jaw tightens. Hoshino?
“That Hoshino?” Mei mutters beside her in disbelief.
Whispers ripple through the audience. Kana hears gasps, sees people scrambling for their phones to look up confirmation. One of the judges nearly falls out of their chair.
She doesn’t blame them.
Hoshino Aqua is supposed to be in America with his family. That includes his twin sister. And yet here she is, standing on a stage in Tokyo like it’s no big deal.
At thirteen, Aqua’s already a massive name. Three years ago, he moved to the U.S. supposedly for a role, though many speculate the family fled Japan because of what happened with Ai and Watanabe.
Anyway, a few months later, it was revealed Aqua has been casted in The Umbrella Academy on Netflix, playing Number Five Hargreeves. His performance gained traction instantly.
After that, he landed back-to-back roles in ‘The Promised Neverland’ and ‘Avatar: The Last Airbender.’ While filming as Norman in ‘The Promised Neverland,’ then the famous Japanese movie ‘Vengeance from the Deaths’ dropped—and it shook the industry.
Critics who’d scoffed at him were suddenly singing his praises. The way they flipped made Kana roll her eyes. She still remembers how the internet screamed to the void how Aqua should not have been cast as Gakano and Takagi.
But she did get why they switched sides easily. Aqua isn’t just talented, he’s terrifyingly good. Somehow juggling two to three series at once without compromising quality.
He’s Japan’s pride and joy. A child actor who made it in America—and kept making it.
People don’t talk about the failed adaptations Aqua was in because of how minor his characters were. It makes Kana jealous and happy for him.
So what the fuck is Hoshino Ruby doing here?
The buzz in the room turns electric. Kana’s sure the paparazzi are already losing their minds.
On stage, Hoshino clears her throat, dragging everyone’s attention back to her.
“The long silence is a little awkward,” she says with a playful grin. “Should I just start? Or do you have questions?”
“No, no, it’s fine,” one of the judges says quickly, trying and failing to keep their composure. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
Kana almost snorts. They’re totally frazzled by her sudden appearance. Not a single question? No career change talk? If it were anyone else, they’d be interrogated. But not Hoshino Ruby.
Hoshino nods, stepping into position.
The mic is in her hand. Then, she begins to sing.
Kana blinks in surprise.
Her vocals aren’t as powerful as they used to be, Honestly, Kana almost winces. It’s less polish, less precision. But still—
Her stage presence?
Undeniable.
Then she starts to dance.
And it’s clear as day… This girl knows exactly what she’s doing.
Compared to Adashino’s performance. It’s smooth, clean, and easy on the eyes. Hoshino’s movements feel impossibly light. Like air. Her footwork looks simple at first glance, effortless even, but Kana knows better. The choreography isn’t something a beginner could just pick up. Not without years of discipline.
Hoshino is dancing to a song that’s familiar to Kana: the debut single of male idol Saku Otonomiya. A catchy melody, sure. But the dance? That’s no joke. It’s hard. Sharp turns. Layered beats. Intricate steps that demand stamina and precision.
And yet… Hoshino floats through it. Her body flows into long, graceful movements before snapping into crisp beats. She twirls so light on her feet she barely seems to touch the ground, before landing with uncanny control. Each motion is deliberate, each smile timed to perfection. And it’s not just technical skill, it’s the way she devours the space. Like the entire stage belongs to her. Like the world does.
Every eye is on her. Even Kana’s.
It reminds her of a ballerina with the way Hoshino moves.
When the song ends, Hoshino bows with a dazzling smile, her presence still lingering in the air like an afterglow. She’s radiant. Blinding.
Just like her brother.
The judges scramble to recover. One of them clears their throat, visibly flustered.
“That was an amazing performance, Hoshino.”
“Please, call me Ruby,” she says with a sheepish grin. “My twin brother and I share the same surname, it gets a little confusing when people say ‘Hoshino.’ Makes it sound like we’re a package deal.”
Kana nods slightly. Makes sense. Even she’s getting the names jumbled in her head.
The judges go through the usual routine of questions, but it’s obvious they’ve already made up their minds. No criticism. No real probing. Just awe, poorly disguised.
Unsurprisingly, Ruby doesn’t return to the audience. The top ten candidates are always escorted somewhere else after their performance. Somewhere better.
“Can’t believe it,” Adashino murmurs beside her. “She’s really his sister. It’s not just the face—it’s the talent too.”
Kana hums. “Makes you wonder… if Ruby’s here, maybe Aqua is too.”
Adashino shakes her head, eyes still fixed where Ruby vanished. “I looked it up. He’s filming the new season of Umbrella Academy . Guess he didn’t come back.”
How is Aqua now since she last saw him almost 3 years ago on that rainy day?
She almost wants to hide herself shamefully, Aqua is more successful now compared to Kana who tries to get some scrap of job opportunities she can receive.
Kana bites her lower lip as another contestant stumbles onto the stage.
And then another. And another.
The atmosphere dulls. Predictable performances. Nervous energy. Forgettable faces. Kana starts to zone out.
Until—
A girl walks onstage with long brown hair and soft features. She’s cute, sure, but her expression is—well. Blank. Like she hasn’t slept in days. Like none of this matters.
“Hello,” the girl greets.
The judges respond with the usual questions, and she answers in short, clipped phrases. She doesn’t care how she’s perceived, doesn’t bother to charm them, and certainly doesn’t give a damn about how it’ll be edited for TV.
Adashino chuckles beside Kana. “Wow. She’s also a breath of fresh air.”
“My name is Tendouji Sarina,” the girl says flatly. “I’ll be performing for today.”
Kana doesn’t expect much.
But the moment the music starts—it’s like a switch flips.
Tendouji transforms .
Her blank stare melts into something mischievous. Her lips curl into a confident, teasing smile as she locks eyes with the camera. She tilts her head, flirts with the beat, and winks so smoothly it feels unscripted. It’s not featherlight as Ruby’s, nor technically perfect like Adashino’s but it works .
Her movements are subtle but full of purpose, laced with personality. She doesn’t force herself to shine. This girl just does, in her own offbeat way. It’s raw charisma . The kind that creeps up on you.
By the time her performance ends, Tendouji Sarina stands still again, face empty, gaze flat. As if the last minute hadn’t happened at all.
Kana can’t help it. She chuckles.
Beside her, Adashino bursts into laughter. “She’s my favorite now.”
Kana doesn’t disagree.
That girl is something .
Not like Ruby, who shines like the sun and commands the room from the start.
But like a slow-burning ember.
The kind you don’t notice at first until it’s all you can see.
***
Kana slumps onto the couch with a heavy sigh. It's good to be home.
Her apartment is simple, just the essentials. A modest couch, a television, a few necessary appliances. Despite public assumptions about her wealth, Kana rarely splurges. She only spends on what she needs. Well, except for hats. Hats are the exception.
The expensive items lying around are remnants from her past, back when she was still a national sensation. These days, she’s more careful with her spending.
Her bank account is still stacked, though. Fortunately, her mother set up a separate account long ago in which half of Kana’s money was given to her mom. That decision probably saved her from blowing it all during her fame peak.
Being one of the top child actresses in the country came with its perks.
Not that it matters anymore. Not when she’s being pushed into this whole idol thing. Honestly, it feels like a joke.
If her agency hadn’t insisted she join this ridiculous show to boost her relevance, she wouldn’t have agreed. The idea of becoming an idol for the sake of reviving her acting career? It’s absurd.
Or, well, it would be… If this were a regular survival idol show.
But ‘Finding Star’ is anything but normal.
Because the purpose of this program… It's to search for someone like Ai from B-Komachi.
The memory alone makes Kana wince.
She reaches for the remote and turns the television on, needing background noise to dull the thoughts swirling in her head.
Almost three years ago, Ai died, she was murdered by a stalker. The tragedy sent shockwaves across the globe. Fans were devastated. The media exploded. And it didn’t help that her death happened just before B-Komachi’s final concert. Ai wasn’t just a member of the group—she was the group. The center. The one everyone came for.
Kana’s heart tightens slightly. She doesn't even want to think about Watanabe’s death.
It's well known that the producer behind ‘ Finding Star’ is a devoted Ai fan. Rumors say many of the new staff members are fans too and some are foreigners. It explains the show’s entire concept. Even the title—it’s in English. ‘Finding Star. ’ Kana scrunches her nose at the name.
The goal is clear: to find a new generation of idols who can shine as brightly as Ai did. To find someone who can take her place.
Kana thinks it’s ridiculous. Japan already has plenty of popular idol groups.
And yet… she can’t deny Ai was in a league of her own.
Even someone like Kana—who’s never been into idol culture—can recognize Ai’s influence. Her charisma, her voice, her sheer stage presence. Ai wasn’t just an idol. She was a phenomenon. Some of her B-Komachi songs still trend. People still cover her dances. Her name hasn’t faded.
Ai was the legendary idol.
Kana exhales slowly.
Yeah. Thinking about idols and talent competitions is still less exhausting than thinking about Hoshino Aqua and his sister Ruby.
Her phone buzzes, pulling her from her thoughts. A notification.
An email.
Kana opens it, brows furrowing at the message. It’s from the ‘Finding Star’ production team. They want the contestants to return in three days. Preparations begin again.
She sighs.
It’s not like she expects to win.
But hell. If she’s here, she might as well give it everything she’s got. She’ll push herself. On her own terms. With her own effort.
She turns off the television and heads to her bedroom.
If this is the path she’s been forced by her agency to take, then she’ll carve her own way through it. Her agency deserves that much after still taking care of her.
As if the universe is playing the hopeful game with her before pulling Kana down in a hopeless hole, Kana’s mind flashed when she received a ‘C’ grade on the audition earlier.
Survival idol shows… they're all the same underneath.
They take a bunch of hopeful people, some who've trained for years, others who just got lucky, and toss them into a high-pressure arena dressed up as a studio. Cameras in every corner, microphones hidden in every collar. They’re being watched from the moment they wake up to the second they fall asleep.
And the whole time, you're expected to smile.
She hopes this program gives their contestants some privacy in their own room.
On the first day, there's an evaluation. They rank the contestants, of course. A through F, like they are a test score. It's humiliating, but it's also a performance. Everything is. Every movement, every reaction, every look, people are watching. Judging. Clipping.
They say it's about talent, but that's only half of it. It’s also about character. Or at least the character they want you to play. The editors love a narrative, if they don’t have one, they’ll make someone. The cocky one. The underdog. The crybaby. The fake. Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. If it sticks, some contestant will stick with it.
Even the contestants who are sweet on camera? They're playing a game. Smiling with their lips and calculating with their eyes. Everyone wants a debut spot. Everyone wants the center. It’s not about friendship. Not really. It’s about staying relevant long enough to survive the next cut.
Then there’s the public votes.
This program needs money to vote for a contestant. It will happen later on, when the host announces it.
That’s the real battleground. It doesn't matter how good the contestants are if no one’s voting. Fans pour money into the show just to keep someone from dropping to the bottom ranks. It turns into a popularity contest dressed up as meritocracy. And the producers know that. They count on it. And those votes can be done multiple times.
But it depends on the program when the voting is going to begin.
And if the contestant finally makes it, if they somehow debut after all that—then what? A short burst of fame. A few variety shows. Maybe a song or two. Then the next survival show airs and suddenly there's a newer, shinier group of girls, and the previous group becomes a yesterday’s news.
Even though the ‘Finding Star’ program only started unlike some survival shows where it already got multiple seasons, she knows this program is going to be much harder.
Kana leans back with a sigh
It's all such a joke.
And she’s still here, because she needed to play along.
The one thing she and her agent agreed upon, there is no way Kana will be able to debut. They already planned what they'll do to Kana once she's out of the Finding Star program. This event is just a stepping stone for Kana in terms of needing to make herself relevant—or at least that's what her agent told her so.
Kana has no choice but to follow.
Her agency deserves so much more than having a failed actress such as Arima Kana.
Notes:
Btw Adashino Mei is a real character in OnK, she's in the Tokyo Blade arc
Chapter 24: Book 2: Their introduction
Summary:
Adashino nods in agreement. “If she keeps this up, she’s going to break into the top ten.”
Ah, right—the top ten. Those are the ones backed by big-name agencies. Even though Strawberry Productions has shifted from being a traditional idol agency into more of a general entertainment and online talent agency, Hoshino Ruby is still listed under them.
They were also excluded from this fucked up Reborn dancing just because they were backed up by their famous agency… and their talents.
Kana pouted at her pillow.
Anyway, Sarina has the chance to be equal with the top 10.
Notes:
*shyly says hi*
So I'm back, and now I messed up the update schedules. I'm really sorry!!!
There has been a family drama that involves me and it depleted my energy, so I kinda lost motivation for a moment. Hopefully, I'll be able to update this fic next week.
I'm really sorry guys!!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Three days later, Kana packs only the essentials for her new dorm room.
The dorm belongs to the Finding Star program. It makes sense, she guesses. Housing the candidates inside the studio building makes the early shoots easier. Still, it’s a double-edged sword. Constant surveillance, no real privacy. And she knows how these shows work. If the producers want a villain, they’ll create one. All it takes is a few bad cuts and the right background music.
“Arima Kana?”
Kana looks up, startled, to see Adashino standing in the doorway, eyes wide before her face lights up with a grin.
“Hey,” Kana says, a little awkwardly. She’s not exactly sure what to say to her… presumably new roommate.
“I didn’t know we’d be sharing a room!” Adashino beams. “Nice to see you again, Arima!”
“It is surprising,” Kana replies, trying to sound neutral.
Adashino smiles again before climbing up to the top bunk, tossing her small bag onto the mattress. Each dorm is fitted with a single bunk bed, two people per room. Kana can’t help but wonder what kind of setup the top 10 have. Their dorms are labeled “VIP,” after all. Probably bigger beds. Maybe private bathrooms. Luxuries.
It’s not fair.
Then again, neither is this industry.
Once they finish unpacking, a message arrives on their phones, calling all candidates to the lobby. Kana and Adashino head down, taking their assigned seats among the other girls, the weight of the program already settling in.
A man steps in front of them, and Kana instantly recognizes him as one of the judges from the auditions.
“You can call me Himura,” he says with a bright smile, his tone enthusiastic but formal. “I’ll be the host of this program.”
He has curly hair that falls just above his shoulders, and his smile is too perfect—not in a bad way, just… expected. Bright dark eyes, the kind that sparkle under stage lights. Of course he’s the host.
“It’s nice to meet all the contestants here. Let’s see, how many of you are there...? Ah! Over 300, right?”
Kana glances down at her shirt—an oversized white tee with a large black number on the front: 201. Adashino sits next to her, wearing 229.
She’s number 201 because she's the 201th contestant who participated in this program. Same goes for everyone else.
Himura continues with a sigh, though it sounds rehearsed. “Unfortunately, we’ll have to cut down the number. It’s just too many to manage. But don’t worry! This round won’t be too hard to pass!”
I seriously doubt that, Kana thinks.
Behind Himura, a massive screen lights up. He steps aside so they can see, though the screen hangs high above. Kana squints.
And then freezes.
Because… Ai.
Ai appears on screen, smiling wide, her voice cheerful and warm. A few gasps ripple through the room, and even Adashino lets one out beside her.
“Hi, everyone!” Ai grins. “A lot of people requested this, so—surprise! You finally got a solo from me!”
Kana’s chest tightens. There’s something unsettling about seeing Ai speak so brightly when everyone knows how her story ends. Even if it’s just a pre-recorded video, it still feels… wrong. Like the past is haunting them through a screen.
“For those who don’t know me, I’m Ai from B-Komachi!” Ai chirps, stepping back to center herself in the frame.
Watching her, Kana realizes just how young Ai really was when she ruled the world. Her energy, her confidence—even her baby cheeks. Seventeen? Maybe eighteen?
The music starts. Ai’s posture shifts, her expression sharpening as she gets into position—
“Wait, is that the Reborn choreography?” Adashino whispers in disbelief.
Murmurs spread quickly. Kana doesn’t blame them.
Reborn is infamous. Everyone in the idol industry knows how hard it is to perform. Even the other B-Komachi members supposedly struggled with it—at least, according to rumors.
But Ai?
Ai dances like it’s second nature. Each movement is crisp, powerful, graceful. Her footwork is precise, arms snapping in perfect time. Kana can’t look away. Ai doesn’t just perform, it feels like she commands everyone to look at her.
When the video ends, Kana finally exhales, blinking herself back into the room.
Everyone around her wears the same expression: awestruck.
Kana understands. She feels it too.
Himura claps his hands. “Isn’t Ai amazing? A once-in-a-lifetime idol! I bet a lot of you admire her, right?”
Cheers erupt from the contestants. Even the crew members nod, some smiling with a touch of nostalgia.
“Then great news, everyone!” Himura beams. “You’ll be imitating Ai’s performance and presenting it… next week!”
Silence.
Kana stares.
What?
All at once, the room fills with gasps and stunned looks. A few girls start whispering, others just sit there in shock.
“Is he seriously saying that?” Adashino mutters, voice laced with venom. The bitterness with an edge of disbelief in her tone surprises Kana.
“That’s all for now!” Himura says brightly. “Good luck, everyone! See you in a week!”
He strides off stage before anyone can even process what just happened.
Another man walks on, his presence colder, heavier. Kana recognizes him too—another judge.
Unlike Himura, this man doesn’t smile. He surveys them like they’re beneath him.
“My name is Hikari Kanzaki,” he says flatly. “I’ll be your dance instructor for the week.”
Kana exhales sharply.
Well.
Shit.
***
"I'm beat…" Kana groans as she flops face-first onto her bed. "I want to take a shower, but it feels like I physically can't get out of bed anymore."
"Right?" Adashino sighs from the floor, chugging the last of her water.
It's been three full days since the demon named Kanzaki became their dance instructor.
Relentless doesn’t even begin to cover it. He hounds every misstep like a bloodhound on a scent. No mistake is too small for his critique.
Poor Sarina— one of the other contestants —seems to bear the brunt of it more than anyone else.
Kana only knew Sarina’s name during the audition, but now it feels like the entire dorm knows her, courtesy of Kanzaki’s laser focus. She suspects it's not just random. No, it’s probably because—
“Sarina’s talented, isn’t she?” Adashino asks, still seated on the floor, clearly too drained to climb onto her bunk.
"Yeah," Kana replies, shifting to lie on her side. “She’s one of the only contestants who can both sing and dance at a high level. Probably the only real all-rounder in the top twenty.”
Adashino nods in agreement. “If she keeps this up, she’s going to break into the top ten.”
Ah, right—the top ten. Those are the ones backed by big-name agencies. Even though Strawberry Productions has shifted from being a traditional idol agency into more of a general entertainment and online talent agency, Hoshino Ruby is still listed under them.
They were also excluded from this fucked up Reborn dancing just because they were backed up by their famous agency… and their talents.
Kana pouted at her pillow.
Anyway, Sarina has the chance to be equal with the top 10.
Neither of them says it out loud, but they both know Sarina lacks stage presence. She's technically gifted, but when it comes to captivating an audience, her energy feels muted. Fortunately, her off switch stage always makes people whiplash. Not to mention, she doesn't have a strong back up agency to hold Sarina ground.
Additionally, her appearance leans heavily into the ‘cute’ and sometimes ‘flirty’ category, which helps when she’s on stage.
Only ‘cute’ is in Kana's category.
"It’s honestly amazing how well she’s held it together today,” Adashino says, smiling faintly, though the expression looks like it’s been dragged out of her with effort.
Kana glances at her. She still remembers how drastically Adashino’s tone changed that first day they saw Ai’s “Reborn” performance. It had shocked her. But to be fair, Adashino isn’t a bad person. If anything, she’s shown Kana more respect than most other contestants have, even if the other girls give Adashino the occasional side-eye.
Still, Kana reminds herself to stay cautious. This is an idol competition, after all. One slip of the tongue is enough to trigger online hate. The wrong word, the wrong look—and you're done. People backstab all the time here, especially when there's a camera nearby. If something underhanded is going to happen, Kana knows she won’t be the one to make the first move.
She’s actually terrified of making the first move.
Kana clears her throat. “Anyway, if Sarina can handle all that—”
“Are you both talking about me?”
They both jerk their heads toward the door in unison, almost comically.
Sarina stands there, leaning casually on the open doorway.
How did they forget to close the door?
Oh. Right. They were that exhausted.
Luckily, Sarina looks more amused than offended, the corners of her mouth lifting into a smile.
It’s surprising, actually—Sarina always looked so expressionless during practice that Kana didn't think the girl could smile other than when performing seriously. Then again, they're all here to be idols. They should know how to smile on cue. Still, the contrast between Sarina's stage expression and her off-stage presence is uniquely striking.
Maybe that’s part of the problem. Kanzaki probably expects her to be ‘on’ all the time. It’s un-idol-like to be unreadable.
“Don’t worry, I’m not offended or anything,” Sarina says, her voice tinged with nervous laughter as her face slides back into its usual deadpan. “I’m flattered that I impressed the both of you.”
Kana’s mouth moves before she can stop it. “I think a lot of the other candidates feel the same, considering how you handled the instructor earlier.”
Sarina blinks. For a moment, Kana panics. Did she offend her?
But then Sarina steps into the room and offers her hand. “Sarina Tendouji. Though I prefer just Sarina.”
Kana looks at the hand, then shakes it. Sabrina's hands trembling slightly.
“Arima Kana,” She replies with a small smile. “You don’t need to pretend you don’t know who I am.”
A bit blunt, maybe.
But Sarina just nods and says, “You’re really amusing, Arima.”
She says it with the same flat expression as always, but something in her posture tells Kana she’s nervous too. It doesn't help that this girl’s hands are trembling slightly.
Honestly, Sarina’s more amusing than Kana is.
“Right?” Adashino chimes in as she slides over. “For someone who's been in the industry longer than us, Kana is honestly a breath of fresh air.”
What does that mean?
“By the way, I’m Adashino Mei,” she adds, reaching out to shake Sarina’s hand as well.
“You can just call me Sarina,” the brunette says, her tone softening. “I’m sixteen, by the way.”
Adashino blinks. “Oh, I forgot to say mine—I’m eighteen.”
“I think both of you know how old I am,” Kana mumbles, clutching a pillow to her chest.
“Fourteen, right?” Adashino says, her voice suddenly soft. There's a flicker of something in her eyes—guilt and considering, maybe? “Still a baby!”
“What?!” Kana gasps, sitting up. “No I’m not!”
“Then who’s the real senpai between us?” Sarina asks thoughtfully. “Arima’s worked in the industry since she was a kid, but she’s also the youngest.”
Wow. Sarina’s really opening up.
“You know what?” Adashino groans. “I don’t want to think about this anymore. My head’s already spinning.”
“By the way, Adashino-san, the way you danced during the audition—it looked like you had formal training.”
“Oh, drop the ‘-san,’ please,” Adashino waves it off. “Makes me feel ancient. But yeah, I took gymnastics for theatre. I like choreographing my own stuff too, it’s fun. What about you?”
That’s news to Kana. So Adashino really does have experience but on theatre and not from what Kana initially suspected.
“I used to do ballet,” Sarina says, sitting down by the wall. “But I switched to contemporary a while back.”
Kana considers joining in the chat, but her own body reminds her that she really smells. She grabs her towel and changes clothes.
“I’m gonna take a bath,” she says, already dragging herself to the door.
“Oh! Let’s go together. There’s a hot spring here, right?” Adashino asks.
Sarina nods. “I’ll grab my stuff too.”
Kana pauses for a moment.
Is… she making friends?
No. That’s impossible.
She shakes her head at the thought and heads to the bath anyway.
***
It’s supposed to be the last day of practice.
At least, that’s what everyone thought.
But when all the candidates are called into another room, Kana doesn’t expect this. Not at all.
Three judges are already there, seated and waiting—Kanon Nakagawa, Naoto Suzukawa, and Shinichi Amachi. The same judges from the auditions.
“What’s going on?”
“I thought this was our last practice day?”
“Why are the judges here?”
Whispers ripple through the room. Behind her, Adashino still wears a smile, but Kana has gotten to know her well enough these past few days to recognize the tightness in her jaw. That smile is strained. She's holding back frustration. Sarina, on the other hand, wears a visible frown as she quietly takes her seat.
Once everyone settles down, Himura, the host, steps forward, grinning at the camera.
“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming today!” he announces brightly. “It’s time to see what our contestants are really made of!”
Confusion spreads like wildfire. Murmurs rise all around Kana, but she forces herself to stay calm.
“We’ll start from the end of the list!” Himura declares. “No. 325, please come up to the stage!”
Wait what? So this isn’t practice—it’s a live evaluation? An actual performance?
That’s so cruel.
Kana’s heart sinks for the girl wearing No. 325. She hadn’t prepared for this. None of them had. They've been completely blindsided.
This survival show is brutal.
The girl walks up to the stage, trembling, her hands clenched into fists. She's clearly panicking.
“I’m sorry…” the girl sniffles, eyes welling up with tears. “I can’t remember…”
The host gives her a sympathetic smile, says a few reassuring words, and gently moves on to the next candidate.
Kana's stomach twists. This is so unfair. But then again, it’s exactly the kind of stunt she should’ve expected from an idol competition. Emotional landmines are part of the game.
The performances continue. Candidate after candidate steps up, and Kana tries to keep her nerves in check as she waits for her number to be called.
Eventually, it’s Adashino’s turn. Kana watches her walk up to the stage with practiced poise. She knows Adashino’s nervousness, but she also knows the woman won’t have any trouble.
The music starts—and Adashino dances.
Her vocals can get improved with more practice, but it’s her dancing that steals the show. Every movement is smooth, polished, confident. She owns the stage. It’s almost like watching Ai all over again—flawless, magnetic, effortless.
Even the audience in the back seems captivated. Of course they are. Adashino’s passion for dance shines through every step.
Then it’s Kana’s turn.
Her name is called. She stands.
Surprisingly, her nerves have dulled. Her legs are steady, her heart calm. But she knows—even before stepping on stage—that this won’t be her best performance.
Still, as the music begins, Kana draws from memory. She recalls every move Ai made, every lyric, every beat. She channels it all the best she can. And honestly? She doesn’t do too badly.
When her performance ends, she looks to the judges.
Blank stares.
The judges then nodded to each other and started grading her performance.
What she received is ‘C’ yet again.
She expected that. No surprises, no crushed hopes. She walks back to her seat, numb, just hoping she’s done enough to stay.
“That was honestly pathetic.”
Kana almost flinches. The voice comes from the girl beside her—dark-haired, twin pigtails, mean streak.
“It’s to be expected you’d suck at being an idol when your acting was already trash in Sakura Card Captor.”
Kana shoots her a dark glare. The girl quickly looks away, clearly startled.
Did that girl really expect Kana to just take that?
If cameras weren’t rolling, Kana would’ve given her a piece of her mind. But no—she can’t risk anything right now. One wrong move and she’s handing ammunition to the public.
So she inhales. Exhales. Keep watching.
Then it’s Sarina’s turn.
Kana bites the inside of her cheek, trying not to laugh. Sarina walks to the stage with her usual deadpan expression. But once she faces the camera, she breaks into a full-on, all-teeth idol smile. She acts cute, energetic—even bubbly.
And then it ends. Just like that.
The second her performance is over, Sarina drops back into her deadpan look like nothing ever happened.
“Thank you for having me,” she says simply, then walks off the stage and back to her seat without batting an eye.
The judges blink at her, bewildered.
Kana has to press her lips together to keep from laughing. Sarina’s transition is just too funny. She's such a wildcard. And honestly? Kana likes her for it. Sarina really doesn’t seem to care what anyone thinks—and that’s refreshing.
When the evaluations finally wrap up, Kana exhales in relief. She’s still in. She hasn’t been cut.
She hasn’t failed.
Not yet.
***
Finding the Start [Episode 1] Discussion
Noboy_Nobody876
Wait a minute, Hoshino Ruby is here?! Is Aqua also here too?!
↟ 2.3k ↡ 💬 Reply
AquaFan_13
Sadly, he's not in Japan right now he's still shooting the Umbrella Academy’s new season.
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
Qwerty_mnbvC
I never expected Hoshino Ruby to have a desire to become an idol after what happened with Ai, who is her adopted sister.
↟ 1.7k ↡ 💬 Reply
Ai_from_Bkomachi_stan
Ssshh we don't talk about that.
↟ 1.2k ↡ 💬 Reply
Jessica_Cheboy
LMAO Sarina doesn't seem like she wants to be there when she steps away from the stage.
↟ 999 ↡ 💬 Reply
Gakuno_Stan
She's me when I'm at home vs when I'm at school
↟ 898 ↡ 💬 Reply
Hound_to_ground
Kana is always trying new things but I didn't expect her to become an idol
↟ 821 ↡ 💬 Reply
Sakura_Cardcaptor12344
It's sad when she only peaked during her elementary days.
↟ 611 ↡ 💬 Reply
Ai_fan_boy
Is it me or does Ruby remind me of Ai? Maybe the way they dance or the way I can't take my eyes off her really remind me of Ai.
↟ 777 ↡ 💬 Reply
Fanatics_of_Bkomachi
Gross
↟ 284 ↡ 💬 Reply
Ai_fan_boy
You can just say I've worded that wrong, you close minded idiot.
↟ 343 ↡ 💬 Reply
InternetStreamers_fans
I'm so proud of Memcho!! In the other idol show, she's not even in the top 20 but now that she tried to enter the same program again, she's finally in the top 2!!
↟ 884 ↡ 💬 Reply
Ari_Nation
Let's work hard to debut Memcho this time!
↟ 409 ↡ 💬 Reply
Addicted_in_theatre
Woah, Adashino is here! Maybe I really should give this show a chance.
↟ 760 ↡ 💬 Reply
***
Arima Kana is in the Idol program “Finding the Star”?
I just saw the first episode but I don't think Arima Kana is suited to be an idol. What do you all think?
↟ 766 ↡ 💬 Reply
Memcho_Stan
This girl is trying so hard to do every role in any series she can find. I really pity her. Now she wants to become an idol? Smh.
↟ 443 ↡ 💬 Reply
Theaterics_and_Magicians
This is only a theory but I don't think she wants to become an idol but she wants to be more exposed in public maybe?
↟ 343 ↡ 💬 Reply
Sad_Sakura
That makes so much fucking sense but if she's really desperate to do that, entering an idol show is a risky move.
↟ 222 ↡ 💬 Reply
***
What do you all think about the new idol program just to find someone like Ai from B-Komachi?
Personally, that's going to be hard. But this is me as Ai fan talking.
↟ 3k ↡ 💬 Reply
Ai_Stan
It is going to be hard ngl. I may be biassed too but I don't think we'll see another idol like Ai in a million years.
↟ 2k ↡ 💬 Reply
DetectiveConan_Fan
From someone who's only been a casual listener of Ai, I don't think we will ever have someone as Ai again.
↟ 1.4k ↡ 💬 Reply
***
Hoshino Ruby is back in Japan to become an idol.
I honestly thought she's going to follow his brother’s footsteps.
↟ 1.1k ↡ 💬 Reply
Aqua_Stan
Same. But I also thought it makes sense for her to become an idol. I mean, look at that face.
↟ 874 ↡ 💬 Reply
***
Sarina
[Attached video of deadpan Sarina after dancing and singing expressively]
I'm honestly cheering for her. She's so funny.
↟ 886 ↡ 💬 Reply
Ruby_Hoshino_FW
Go for it. I'm also rooting for her!
↟ 333 ↡ 💬 Reply
Theatrics_Fanatics
You're really going for her? I honestly don't think she deserves it when she doesn't seem like taking this idol show seriously.
↟ 223 ↡ 💬 Reply
Himekawa_Simp
I'm also expecting her to be an idol! If she made a debut here, it would be a breath of fresh air in the idol industry.
↟ 287 ↡ 💬 Reply
***
They’re given a break the next day, but Kana has a gut feeling it’s not out of kindness. It’s more for the production team, who probably need time to edit yesterday’s audition disaster into a palatable episode.
She’s been in enough variety shows to recognize the pattern.
Some contestants seize the opportunity to step out of the dorms to go home or go on outings, but others, like Kana, choose to stay inside. Adashino and Sarina are among those who stay in. Kana figures it's not like she has a bustling social life outside of her acting career, anyway.
Besides, it’s lucky the staff agreed not to film anything during weekends, supposedly to preserve the contestants’ privacy. At least, that’s what the host said on camera.
“Yikes, she’s glaring at you, Sarina,” Adashino mutters through a mouthful of food.
Kana’s eyes subtly drift to the left, narrowing as she spots the source: the girl who sat next to her during yesterday’s showcase.
Sarina grimaces. “What did I even do to her?”
“Jealousy, probably,” Kana replies after sipping her water. “You’re a strong contender. Outside of the top ten, you might have the best shot.”
“Really?” Sarina blinks, chewing thoughtfully on a slice of apple.
“In the idol industry, charisma and stage presence are the most sought-after traits,” Adashino says, setting down her empty bento box. “I’d say Ruby and Memcho already checked some of those boxes. But the second thing they look for is raw talent—someone who can match that stage presence and elevate the whole group.”
Sarina tilts her head, expression still unreadable. “But Ai from B-Komachi had all of that maxed out.”
Kana doesn’t even hesitate. “It’s Ai.”
“Right, but how come Ai’s that talented?”
“Again,” Kana says firmly, “it’s Ai.”
Adashino snorts. “That's a perfect description of the legendary idol.”
“Fair enough,” Sarina mumbles, accepting the explanation with a shrug. “So, in conclusion, the reason that girl keeps glaring at me is because I’m… talented? That seems shallow.”
“Everyone is shallow in this industry,” Adashino says dryly, then shoots Sarina a curious look. “Didn’t you say you’ve been in the industry for a while now? You sound like someone who hasn’t seen much of how ugly it gets.”
Sarina leans back in her seat. “I’ve technically been around for two years. I’m not an actress or anything, but my mom’s big on advertising movies and drama series, so I kind of tagged along for events and shoots.”
Kana raises a brow. “I’m surprised you didn’t end up becoming an actress if that’s your mom’s thing.”
“She practically forced me to become an idol.”
The air falls a little flat.
Kana and Adashino glance at each other, momentarily stunned. Then they both turn back to Sarina, unsure of what to say.
Sarina shifts awkwardly, as if realizing she just dropped something heavier than intended. “Sorry,” she mutters. “Didn’t mean to bring out the mommy issues out of nowhere.”
Kana opens her mouth before she can stop herself. “You’re not the only one with mommy issues here.”
She almost regrets it, but then she catches Sarina’s look—not pity, not sympathy, but something close to understanding. A flicker of recognition.
Kana meets her gaze, and for a quiet second, something shifts between them. A silent camaraderie, unspoken but solid.
Then, unexpectedly, a warm palm settles on Kana’s head. Another lands on Sarina’s.
Adashino sighs, voice soft. “I forget sometimes that you two are still just kids.”
The moment lingers briefly before she draws her hands back and grins. “As for my family issues—great parents, terrible marriage. Think of a civil war with good lighting.”
Wow. All of them really are carrying something.
Sarina is about to speak when someone approaches their table. A red-haired girl, around maybe in Adashino’s age, steps into view.
“Hey,” she says, eyes on Sarina, “you okay? Lara’s been glaring daggers at you since lunch started.”
Kana glances around but doesn’t spot Lara anywhere. She must’ve left already, along with a few others who’ve finished their meals.
“So her name’s Lara, huh?” Adashino purrs, but there’s a sharp glint in her eyes that Kana definitely doesn’t imagine.
The red-haired girl seems to catch it too. She clears her throat. “Did you… do something to her?”
Kana frowns. “That girl’s just jealous of Sarina.” She crosses her arms. “I could tell from the moment I sat next to her yesterday. You get a feel for it when you’ve been in this business long enough.”
The girl is silent for a moment before she winces. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to jump to conclusions.”
“It’s fine. Things get messy here,” Sarina replies calmly. Kana notes with quiet respect how Sarina doesn’t seem bitter about it. “How do you two know each other, anyway?”
“Lara talked to me during the first day of the program,” the redhead says, then blinks as if remembering something. “Ah! I never introduced myself. I’m Suzushiro Mana.”
The three of them politely greet her in turn, and just like that, lunchtime winds to a close. The cafeteria starts to clear out as contestants drift back to their rooms or toward wherever else the day takes them.
And before they know it, the next day begins.
***
“Welcome, ladies!” the host declares with a dramatic flair, then winks at the camera. “And gentlemen,” he adds with a grin. “It’s time for the next round to begin—this one’s sure to get your hearts racing!”
Ugh. His voice grates on Kana’s nerves.
She tunes him out halfway through his monologue, which is mostly a long-winded spiel about the dwindling number of contestants and a roundabout greeting to the entire country of Japan.
“Aren’t you all curious about what you’ll be doing today?” Himura asks, gaze sweeping theatrically across the room before locking onto the camera again.
Kana straightens just slightly in her spot, attention piqued.
“It’s time for the idol stage!” he announces grandly, gesturing toward the screen behind him. It lights up, showcasing popular idol groups—especially Ai—dancing flawlessly in vibrant music videos. “We’ve already picked your groups for this round, albeit randomly! But I’m sure you’ll all get along splendidly.”
Randomly, he says. Kana scoffs inwardly. Every veteran in the room knows that’s a bold-faced lie.
Sure, she never aimed to be an idol herself, but she’s done her homework. Idol variety shows thrive on drama. If there isn’t any, the producers will manufacture it—editing footage to twist context, cutting out crucial scenes, framing arguments, and painting villains or victims depending on what fits the narrative.
She remembers a previous idol survival show where two contestants butted heads over creative differences. They eventually made up, and their final performance was incredible. But when the episode aired, the reconciliation was nowhere to be seen. Instead, the edit framed one of them as a troublemaker while the other looked like a saint.
Kana only found out the truth because both contestants exposed the show's manipulation after they failed to debut.
So no, she doesn’t trust Himura’s chipper tone or those rehearsed reassurances.
After his “motivational” TED Talk about excitement and growth, the screen behind him flashes to reveal the group assignments.
Rows of names scroll by, matched together. Kana scans for hers.
Team 25.
The last group.
Her eyes freeze on the list of members.
What? Her stomach twists. Why is she in that group?!
This is going to be a disaster.
***
Kana awkwardly sits between Lara and Adashino in the circle of chairs.
Lara throws her a sharp side glance, while Adashino greets Lara with a bright smile, one that has just enough edge to keep Kana on guard. Sarina, seated next to Adashino, subtly shifts behind her, as if hoping to disappear.
Across the circle, Suzushiro is visibly sweating from the sheer tension in the air. Then there's Luna who is dark-haired, brown-eyed, and undeniably cute, if a little ditzy. She flashes a cheerful smile at everyone, either bravely ignoring the awkwardness or just too clueless to notice. Maybe both.
They’re currently stuck in another bland, lifeless room—just cameras, chairs, and two lonely windows letting in a sliver of light. It’s like every other set: sterile and suffocating.
Someone clears their throat.
All eyes turn to Hoshino Ruby, who offers a nervous smile as she glances around the group.
“So… we’re doing ‘Heroes on the Sky’ by M4, huh?”
Kana exhales. Finally, someone with sense. Ruby’s timing is perfect—the tension thins just a little.
That song. The over-the-top anthem by the popular male idol group, singing about justice, sacrifice, and saving the city in a world of black and white. Heroes rescuing victims? Yay. Heroes killing villains? Also yay.
The first time Kana heard it, she thought the lyrics were kind of hypocritical—murder’s still murder, even if you’re wearing a cape. Still, she has to admit: it’s a damn catchy song.
“Should we imitate M4 all the way?” Lara asks. Her tone, for once, isn’t hostile. “I mean, it’s a good song. Not like there’s anything we can add.”
Surprisingly, Kana agrees. Not that she’s going to say it out loud. She just wants to get through the performance and survive this round.
It’s not like she actually wants to become an idol.
“Can we even match M4’s performance?” Sarina says softly, carefully avoiding Lara’s gaze. “It’s meant for four people. And it’s really… charismatic. Kind of sexy too.”
Yeah. That.
Kana remembers the original performance clearly—M4 oozing sensual energy without being cringey, toeing that fine line with ease. It even gave her butterflies. Sarina’s not wrong.
“So what should we do?” Adashino asks, still smiling.
“If only we got the B-Komachi song…” Suzushiro sighs.
“Right? It’s perfect for a group of seven,” Luna chimes in with a dry smile. “If only we were lucky. But Memcho’s group snagged that one during the raffle.”
Kana inwardly disagrees, but she doesn’t bother saying anything.
Instead, she opens her mouth for something else. “I think what we need is a unique concept, something that plays to all seven of us. A performance that actually works for us, not just copying M4.”
“You make it sound so easy,” Lara mutters under her breath.
Kana feels a vein twitch in her forehead. She doesn't even dignify that with a reply.
If only this wasn’t an idol show, she repeats in her head like a mantra.
“I have an idea,” Ruby says suddenly, cutting through the tension.
Everyone turns to her.
Kana leans in, curious despite herself.
***
When Ruby presents her idea to the group, it’s met with a mix of astonishment and genuine amazement.
They bring the concept to the judges, who also respond with wide eyes and stunned silence. Within moments, the stage crew and costume designers are scrambling out of the room, already buzzing with ideas and plans.
For a program that operates with all the warmth of a lifeless porcelain doll, they sure have a ridiculous amount of money to throw at stages and production.
***
Unexpectedly, Team 25 is doing great. Even if Lara’s attitude can be a bit much at times.
Each group has been given a week to practice the assigned song, learn the choreography, and then adapt the performance to suit all seven members.
Luckily, they already have solid choreography, thanks to Adashino and Sarina. As for the stage and costumes, those are already handled—Ruby and Suzushiro took charge of that.
Now, the only thing left is—
“I can sing the first part,” Luna says, raising her hand with a smile.
Adashino turns to her with an easy grin. “Maybe I should go next to you? I’ll do verse two.”
“I’ll take verse three,” Ruby adds with a grimace. “It’s shorter. My squeaky voice can’t handle anything more than that.”
Kana arches her brow but doesn’t say a word. She remembers Ruby being a child theater actress, and she’s heard her sing before—her vocals were actually good. Puberty really did a number on them, huh?
Adashino, who’s also no stranger to the theater world, glances briefly at Ruby, then looks back at the group.
“So,” she asks, “who’s doing the bridge?”
Suzushiro blinks. “Shouldn’t we decide who’s singing the chorus first before jumping to the bridge?”
“But Suzushiro,” Ruby counters quickly, eyes shining, “the bridge is one of the most iconic bridges in the Japan idol scene! The lyrics hit hard, the high notes are unforgettable, and the background arrangement? The drums, violin, trumpet, and bass guitar all come together perfectly. It's legendary!”
Much to her dismay, Kana finds herself agreeing. It’s rare for a song to layer so many instruments and still make it work.
Adashino lights up. “Sarina can do it!”
“What?” For the first time during the discussion, Sarina speaks—and it’s the only voice besides Kana’s that’s been silent so far.
“No,” Lara cuts in sharply. “I’ll do it.”
Kana almost groans. Oh no. She knows where this is going.
Adashino frowns. “But Sarina can sing it well.”
Sarina sinks slightly into her seat, though she let out a small smile from the compliment. That smile quickly fades when Lara turns to glare at her, her expression returning to that familiar blank mask.
“I can sing it well, too,” Lara says, crossing her arms. “Adashino, maybe you should stop fixating on Sarina. Other people can be good singers, too.”
Adashino tilts her head, thoughtful, then nods. “You’re right.” She flashes Lara a wide smile—one that makes Lara relax and smile back.
“Each of us has a place on the stage,” Adashino continues. “And if someone messes up, it’s on them. I focused too much on Sarina and forgot to consider everyone else. So, I apologize in advance if I end up being the one who messes up the task I’m given.”
“That’s right!” Kana suddenly chimes in, speaking for the first time in the conversation. She meets Adashino’s gaze briefly before turning back to the group. “If anyone screws up the bridge, people will remember it. It’s the most iconic bridge song of the M4. The pressure’s real.”
In other words; if you mess this up, you're screwed.
Lara steps back slightly, glancing at both Kana and Adashino. Kana doesn’t look at Adashino, but she can feel the smug approval radiating off of her.
Ruby groans and rubs her forehead. “This song is going to be the death of us.” She looks around at the group, then focuses on Lara with a kind smile. “This is why, if someone stumbles during the performance, the rest of us will try to support them as best we can. And if it still doesn’t work out… Well, we’ll all go down together. But at least we’ll go down as a team.”
Lara offers a small, uncertain smile in return and nods. The pressure clearly weighs on her now despite Ruby's reassurance, but she accepts it nonetheless.
Kana catches Ruby’s glance and quickly realizes what just happened. Ruby patched things up on the surface, softening the tension so Kana and Adashino wouldn’t look bad on camera. Smart. In a show like this, producers always have their favorites. Kana suspects Ruby is one of them. The girl has idol potential, and more importantly, she’s the sister of Hoshino Aqua—Japan’s golden boy.
Luna still wears a bright smile, oblivious to the tension that just simmered. Sarina remains unreadable as always, and Suzushiro shifts in her seat, visibly uncomfortable.
Then Luna claps her hands with a grin. “If it’s so hard to choose who sings the bridge, then let everyone try it. We can decide after that!”
“Wait, I thought we already decided it’d be Lara?” Sarina asks, looking confused. She isn’t the only one, most of them are.
Lara nods slowly, but her discomfort is obvious.
“I think some of you disapprove,” Luna says bluntly. “So let’s just try my idea instead.”
Oh geez. She’s really that ditzy.
Hey! Read the room, will you?
Almost everyone’s jaw drops, except for Sarina—of course. She’s always composed.
If people think Arima Kana has no filter, they clearly haven’t met Luna. At least Kana knows when to shut up.
In the end, they go with Luna’s idea.
Lara sings first, and Kana barely hides her grimace. Sure, Lara can sing, but for this bridge? The bar feels too low.
Next is Luna. Her voice is decent, but her high notes? Kana wants to claw her ears out.
Ruby steps up after. Kana had her doubts about Ruby’s “squeaky” voice, but those doubts vanish the second Ruby belts the note like a battle cry.
Then it’s Adashino’s turn. Not terrible, but not good enough to carry the bridge. Although theatre actors or actresses are known to be great at vocals, it doesn’t mean all of them are great like Adashino here.
Suzushiro follows, and surprisingly, she has potential. With more practice, she might pull it off.
Then Sarina takes the mic.
No, she doesn’t match Subaru from M4’s legendary performance, but compared to the others? She’s leagues ahead.
“Tendouji, that was amazing,” Ruby says. But there’s a flicker of something in her eyes. Dislikes? The way she says Sarina’s name sounds forced, and Kana can hear it too clearly. “You’re really good!”
Others start praising her as well—everyone except Lara, who glares harder in Sarina’s direction.
Sarina doesn’t smile, but her eyes shine brighter than before. “Please, you can all call me Sarina.”
Everyone nods. Ruby swallows and nods too, but it’s mechanical, like she just bit into a lemon. Kana blinks. So Ruby doesn’t like Sarina either?
Why the hell does nobody like Sarina?
“Wait!” Luna suddenly blurts, and Kana immediately wants to scream. No, no, no, please not now— “Arima hasn’t sung yet!”
Lara scoffs. “It’s obvious who’s getting picked. Can we move on?”
“Nuh-uh!” Ruby’s grin returns, playful and just a little too sharp. “If we’re all showing off our vocals, Arima should, too!”
Before Kana can respond, Adashino joins in with a smirk.
“Come on, we all embarrassed ourselves—except Sarina and Suzushiro, I guess. But the rest of us? Let’s drag you into misery with us, Arima!”
Kana can already see it. If Ruby and Adashino ever debut together, Japan is doomed.
“Sing! Sing!” Luna cheers, clapping her hands.
Sarina joins her. Even Suzushiro and Lara are chuckling.
Traitors.
Kana sighs. “Fine.”
Ruby and Adashino high-five, clearly enjoying this too much. The others laugh quietly.
Kana steps up and begins singing the bridge, her gaze fixed on the ceiling or anywhere really as long as she's not looking at anyone in the eye.
It’s not like she’s in front of many audiences or judges, so she sings naturally without any effort. Kana also tries to remember the memories she has when practicing her vocals with her former vocal coach.
She knows how people talk about her voice—how the agencies whisper, how the internet mocks. So she’s braced for laughter, for teasing.
But when she finishes, there’s nothing.
Silence.
Kana slowly turns to face them. Everyone is staring, wide-eyed.
“Did I… do something wrong?” she asks hesitantly.
“Wrong?” Ruby is suddenly right in front of her, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. “Why the hell are you quiet all the time?! You sang like an angel!”
Wait… what?
“That wasn’t your voice during the auditions,” Adashino says, eyes shining with disbelief. “Then again, during the evaluations, you always look like you’re calculating your next move.”
Of course I am, Kana thinks. There’s always a chance I’ll mess something up if I don’t.
“I’ll pass the bridge to you,” Sarina says without hesitation.
“She’s right,” Suzushiro agrees. “Good luck with the bridge.”
Luna nods enthusiastically. Even Lara just looks away and huffs.
What the hell did I just get myself into?
Notes:
Look at that, Kana is talented but her self esteem holds her back.
Anyway, this survival idol show will take some time to finish (It will be 10 chapters in total). Aqua's POV will be much later (especially when he has less screen time in this arc, like Ruby during Tokyo blade arc). Also, I promise Ruby's POV will be place in here soon.
I hope you guys enjoy! And comments are always welcome.
Chapter 25: Book 2: Their first performance
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Sakurajima Mai needs a break.
Mai heads to the designated Finding Star stage where the contestants of the survival show are set to perform. She tells herself it’s because she has free time. But truthfully, she just wants to get away from her mother’s presence, even for a little while.
The ticket was given to her by Ruby the other day, the girl smiling as she handed it over.
“You’re my last option, but please come to my performance!” the blonde had practically pleaded.
Mai knows Aqua is out of the country and that the few friends Ruby has are currently busy, so she figured, why not? and accepted the invitation.
To keep her identity hidden, she grabs a cap and sunglasses she keeps stashed in the closet, aiming to blend in like a typical civilian.
As she waits for the show to begin, Mai thinks back to the research she’s done about the survival idol show. Apparently, fans eventually become shareholders—meaning they’ll vote for their favorite contestant with actual money. After the debut, the program’s production team will double as the group’s agency.
But Mai also found that the show is a double-edged sword. While some contestants might find better opportunities, others could walk away with a ruined reputation.
Which brings her to the question she’s been wondering ever since learning Ruby joined this program: Why did Ruby need to enter this show when she already had so many opportunities in America?
Hoshino Ruby is incredibly talented. From what Mai remembers, Ruby has amazing stage presence and a great voice.
“How’s Ruby doing?” Aqua had asked on the phone the other day.
When Mai passed the message along, Ruby gave her a scrunched-up look and didn’t say much.
There might be more to it. Maybe Ruby joining this survival show and her silence toward Aqua are connected.
Maybe the twins had a fight?
“Good evening, everyone,” the host greets. Mai doesn’t know his name, and honestly, she doesn’t care. “Thank you for coming—”
She tunes him out, impatient for the show to begin. Eventually, he wraps up his monologue.
Then her mood plummets.
The first group on stage fails to impress. Even the people beside her wear the same disapproving expression. Contestants stumble over lyrics, miss their steps. It’s awkward. Embarrassing.
The next few groups aren't much better. Some try to look cool, others attempt sexy. A few manage to stay in sync, but most seem too focused on concentrating rather than performing. Mai cringes her way through it.
She’s just waiting for Ruby’s group now. And, if the website was accurate, they’re performing last.
Finally, the second-to-last group appears. Relief flickers in Mai’s chest. Just one more group before Ruby.
But this group… It's not terrible. Not at first.
Fight us!
You’re a challenger, right?
Fight us!
Challengers love to challenge!
A short blonde girl grins and points at the audience with her index finger. The rest of the group wears military-style costumes, identical to B-Komachi’s.
Of course. They’re performing a B-Komachi song.
Their movements are sharp, but not quite precise. A few members lag behind, the choreography clearly too difficult to fully master. Mai recognizes the funhouse music and familiar beat drops, but she feels no connection to it.
Group 24 clearly has skills. They’re better than the others so far. But something feels… off.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
Competition gets decreased
Bam! Bam! Bam!
We already won before the war begun
Click! Shut! Thud!
Bye, B-Komachi won today.
As the blonde does the iconic “handgun” pose, Mai finally realizes what’s wrong.
She can’t help but compare this group to the real B-Komachi.
The expressions on the contestants’ faces, the forced charisma—it all feels like mechanical imitation. A performance without a soul. And based on the murmurs behind her and the critical stares from the people beside her, she’s not the only one who thinks so.
This group doesn’t have Ai.
When the song ends, the group looks visibly deflated. A few of them flinch as they scan the unenthusiastic and disappointed crowd. Without waiting for the silence to settle further, they scurry off stage.
Mai exhales. Of course they knew. Of course they felt it.
No one can replicate a legendary idol.
The host reappears with an awkward chuckle, clearly trying to salvage the sinking energy in the room.
Eventually, Ruby’s group arrives.
“The next team will be covering ‘Heroes in the Sky’ from M4!” the emcee announces.
It’s the same song Ruby mentioned before. So this is their cover.
Mai leans forward slightly, cautiously optimistic. The last few performances left her shaken—some awkward, some painful—and she still feels a sting of secondhand embarrassment for the previous group. Her heart wants to hope, but her mind braces itself.
The lights go out.
A soft voice begins to narrate: “Long ago, there was a group of honourable heroes who always saved the world.”
It’s a feminine tone, light but laced with melancholy. The words hang in the dark like a memory, casting a wistful mood across the auditorium.
Spotlights blink in and out like stars. Through the flickers, Mai sees silhouettes, seven figures standing with their backs turned to the audience. They wear long, dark coats that sway slightly with the smoke curling from the edges of the stage.
“But no one ever knew their method of saving was far from what anyone imagined,” the voice continues. The line sends a chill down Mai’s spine.
A girl with black hair steps forward through the mist as blue lighting spreads across the stage. Her face is framed with dramatic makeup: smudged eyeshadow, crimson lipstick, pale skin. Gothic. Haunting.
She begins to sing.
We made a grand entrance for the battle.
It lived up to our heroes’ mantle.
The light showed the people our tandem—
But dark lurks to grumble.
On “grumble,” another girl steps forward. She’s graceful, composed, and holding a gleaming knife in one hand. Her silver-grey hair glows under the spotlight. She smiles sweetly, but there’s something unhinged in her gaze.
Mai’s breath catches. Is that… Adashino? She's only seen her in theatre productions and high-profile musicals. Talented actress, yes—undeniably so. But why would someone like her is in a survival show performance?
The piano creeps in, slow and eerie, building a quiet tension beneath Adashino’s voice as she begins to sing:
Heroes beat the villains in twilight,
Never questioning the daylight.
Villains scream for help—
But the heroes turn to blind side.
Because villains are monsters.
Mai freezes. She knows this song. The original is upbeat, triumphant, the kind that makes you pump your fist and cheer. But this? This arrangement twists the lyrics, casting a shadow over every line. It makes her question everything.
She narrows her eyes. This must be Ruby’s doing. Only she could transform a cheerful anthem into something this unsettling, this provocative.
Adashino and the black-haired girl now stand side by side, their forearms touching as they continue to sing in perfect harmony, almost intimate. Their voices don’t overlap, they weave. A haunting blend of sound, like two sides of the same coin.
Girls next to Mai squeal in delight.
She doesn’t understand why.
But then, Mai watches more closely. There’s an intimacy in the performance, not romantic, but charged. Deep. Their physical closeness, the way their eyes lock, the precision of their movements—it’s electric.
This song is for national heroes,
A boss battle song to overcome.
Defeat was never the choice—
Unless trickery rejoices.
It’s a mockery of the epic battle.
But not a mockery when—
A voice interrupts, smooth and low.
Ruby.
She steps from the shadows, a sly smile on her face as she sings:
The spell from the heroes influenced your shout of revelry!
She points at herself with dramatic flair.
Behind her, the four backup performers, still with their backs turned, begin chanting softly, a rhythmic da-da-da as the piano accelerates into an electro beat.
We save the humanity, praise pours out
(Yeah!)
Our flaw is the perfect—it’s legendary
(Yeah!)
Then the beat drops.
Another girl steps forward, her voice sly, amused.
Mai blinks. Isn’t that the girl who went viral last week? The meme girl?
Legend shall never make a mistake, am I right? she sings, smirking.
A girl with pigtails turns to face her, expression unreadable.
The mistake can cost us loss of faith.
(But it did lead to success)
Was our fighting the best method?
(You’re the leader but we’re all the figure)
We killed our humanity to become the shiny figure!
(Then let’s embrace our new soul)
Their voices clash and entwine in a musical duel. Not a fight, but a conversation. A challenge as the two of them felt like they were fighting each other.
In the original, there is no musical duet from the song.
Then, all seven girls slowly face the audience.
Because monsters are always lurking around us.
The way they deliver the line—like an accusation, like a confession, makes Mai’s skin crawl. Their eyes gleam under the lights. The gothic makeup turns their expressions into masks of something more primal. More dangerous.
Mai swallows hard. The acting isn't perfect—some of the girls lack polish—but someone clearly knows how to use the stage. Either Adashino or Ruby is the mastermind behind this. Maybe both.
Then the beat changes again. A girl with pink hair steps up for the pre-chorus rap. Her flow is sharp, her timing precise. The bass taps in the background like a countdown.
We glorified our saviours, and they became our worshippers.
It’s our job to save all of you, when darkside tries to take over you.
It’s not too late to fight the demons when we’re here to make the legacy come true.
An ultimate hero who can also work in the shadows.
She walks toward the front of the stage but Ruby intercepts, brandishing a knife.
Ruby strikes.
The pink-haired girl steps aside effortlessly, her expression sorrowful.
Ruby sings with conviction.
A hero will never be that monster to the people.
She takes center stage as the lights follow her. The music swells into a crescendo.
Mai watches, stunned.
She finally gets it.
The original M4 version framed heroism as simple—beat the bad guys, save the day. Even glorified sacrifice as the ideal. But this performance tears all of that apart. It asks the audience: What if heroes aren’t what you think?
What if you made them into monsters?
And then, the stage cleared for the bridge.
Kana steps forward.
Quiet until now. Silent throughout the performance. And yet, as she walks to the center, every other girl falls back like waves parting for the shore.
Arima Kana.
Even just hearing her name makes Mai ache. So talented. So overlooked. And all because her agency has no idea what to do with her. But tonight?
Tonight, she owns the stage.
A single flute begins to play.
Kana stands alone as the others circle her like phantoms—ghostlike, silent, reverent.
The spotlight narrows until it captures only her. She’s still. Almost too still. Then the first note leaves her lips:
We zip our mouth because our humanity doesn’t matter.
Our souls have been forsaken, talking doesn’t matter.
Heroes should keep quiet, duties always come first.
Her voice is haunting. Soft at first, featherlight yet firm, threaded with something raw, an ache buried so deep it claws its way into the open through every syllable. The flute swells behind her, then abruptly vanishes.
In its place, a slow drumbeat begins.
Kana drops to her knees.
Not as a performance trick, but as if her body truly can’t bear the weight of what she’s singing. Her expression crumples with emotion, brows drawn together, eyes glistening—not with tears, but something heavier. Her pain is alive, pulsing through the theatre.
Praises is what matters,
Heroes take the champ,
And run to take a battle—
That’s the reason why we’re born.
Don’t blame our flaws—
Because you made us.
Each line is sculpted with precision. Her control is unreal, she rides the melody like a seasoned maestro, her voice rising into a shimmering high note, only to fall with chilling grace into a mournful low. It’s like watching a pendulum swing—deliberate, powerful, unstoppable.
She doesn’t flinch. Don't blink. Her voice doesn’t crack even once. It burns.
By the time she reaches the end, her final note— high, piercing, desperate —hangs in the air like a ghost that refuses to leave.
It sends a ripple through the audience. A silence more deafening than applause.
Mai forgets to breathe.
And Mai thinks, holy hell, how did the world forget Arima Kana?
Then, the final chorus.
Everyone joins in.
Their voices rise, clash, blend. A chorus of contradictions. Shadows and light. Grace and violence. Perfection and ruin.
Her expectations exceeded too much.
When the final note hits, silence falls like a curtain. Every eye from the audience is on them, and Mai will be damned if anything can distract her now.
The girls catch their breath.
The moment Kana’s final note sliced through the air, the crowd erupted.
Screams and cheers tore through the venue like a wave. People leapt to their feet, clapping, shouting, some even crying from the sheer impact of it.
In the middle of it all, Mai sat frozen in her seat.
Her heart pounded against her chest, her body still trembling from the aftermath of the performance. The stage became dark again and then the lights were now adjusted. But Mai couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak. She was reeling.
Not just from the show.
But for Kana and Ruby.
She clutched the fabric of her sleeve, trying to steady herself, but her mind wouldn’t stop spinning. She never cared for idol shows. Sure, there was Ai Hoshino, the one exception. But everything else?
She never got the hype.
Until now.
Tonight, something cracked open inside her.
Mai wasn’t just impressed. She was a fan now. Not of the whole show, just of them.
If it meant voting for Kana and Ruby with every cent she had, then so be it. She’d do it.
She already knew the program voting system. She already knew how to get them. Now she just had to figure out how to do it without her mother noticing.
As the next segment of the award show began, Mai didn’t move. She stayed rooted in place, her gaze locked on the stage even as the performers changed.
***
The seven candidates gathered backstage, their faces glowing with the afterglow of their performance. The roar of the crowd still echoed in their ears as they huddled together, catching their breath and exchanging excited glances.
Each of them had poured their heart and soul into the show, and they revel in their shared finish performance.
Suzushiro turned to her friends with a wide grin. “Can you believe how amazing tonight was? I thought I was about to make a mistake!”
Ruby's eyes shining. “The dramatic entrance…! I think I felt the stage shake a little!”
Luna nods, a small smile on her face. “It was really incredible to see the audience’s reactions.”
Their performance just ended.
Kana is still trying to process everything that happened.
“That was really amazing, guys!” Adashino exclaims as she puts an arm around Kana and Ruby who are the closest to her.
Yeah… it really was amazing.
“And people are also enthusiastic about it!” Sarina bouncing her foot, a proud grin on her face. Very uncharacteristic for her but Kana can't blame the brown haired girl.
“Did you guys hear them earlier? They keep chanting for us to perform again.” Lara grins, also satisfied.
Sarina and Luna nod in agreement.
And Kana….
Her heart's still beating faster. This only happens whenever she starts acting, or watching her fellow actors have fun but this… this is different.
But then, Kana realised something…
Kana laughs, eyes crinkling in joy. “All of us are incredible out there!”
“Right?” Ruby smiles in return. “I want to go out there again!”
She realised that…
Kana actually had fun singing with this group and performing on the stage.
***
It’s no surprise when Kana’s group wins.
The announcement barely finishes before the crowd roars, and the members of her group exchange smiles. Lara and Sarina’s expressions are more subdued, but Kana figures that’s just the adrenaline finally wearing off.
Still, the happiness is undeniable.
They did it.
Kana’s joy is tempered, though, by the thought of the other team—the one waiting in another room. The team with Memcho.
She can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy.
Kana remembers watching their performance earlier from the viewing area. It wasn’t bad, technically but they did perform one of the most iconic B-Komachi's song. And even from behind a screen, Kana saw the defeat in Memcho’s face.
It's why Kana wasn't exactly sad when they didn't receive the B-Komachi's song. Doing a cover to one of the most popular artists and being compared to is not a happy experience.
***
"Finding Star" Premieres: A New Idol Show from Aikatsu Starts Agency.
By Violet
Aikatsu Starts Agency, known for its innovative and engaging entertainment properties, has launched its latest venture: "Finding Star." The show premiered its first episode this week, drawing considerable attention from fans and critics alike. The competitive reality series seeks to discover and nurture new idols, featuring a diverse cast of candidates each with unique backgrounds and aspirations.
Among the standout contestants is Hoshino Ruby, the younger sister of renowned child actor Hoshino Aqua. Ruby brings a blend of familial fame and fresh enthusiasm to the show, making her a focal point of interest for viewers and judges alike. Her presence promises a personal ambition.
Adashino Mei is another notable participant. Previously celebrated as a theatre actress, Mei’s transition to the idol world is a significant shift in her career. Her experience in acting could offer a unique advantage in the competition, potentially setting her apart from her peers.
Arima Kana, once hailed as a genius actor, is also competing. Her trajectory has seen a decline in popularity as she matured, adding an element of redemption to her participation. Kana’s journey will be closely watched as she attempts to reclaim her former glory in a new field.
Finally, Memcho, a familiar face from the previous idol show, is back for another chance at success. Her experience from her previous stint provides her with a competitive edge, making her a formidable contender in the current lineup.
As "Finding Star" progresses, the interplay between these varied contestants will be crucial in shaping the series’ narrative. The show's format, which combines performance challenges with personal storytelling, is set to offer a compelling viewing experience. With a mix of seasoned talent and fresh faces, Aikatsu Starts' new show promises to captivate audiences and redefine the idol competition genre.
Anonymous: “it's going to be a good show” my ass.
Anonymous234: It's an open secret this show is specifically finding someone like Ai no need to be formal geez
***
Miyako leaned back on the couch, her eyes still glued to the screen. It's the second episode of the Finding Star.
With how busy she has been these past few days, Miyako sadly couldn't make it during Ruby's performance. Fortunately, her daughter understood.
The next segment introduced another group that had just been assigned for their cover song, and the moment she heard it, Miyako grimaces.
'The Challenger,' a song by B-Komachi, blared from the television, accompanied by gasps and murmurs from the show's contestants. It was one of the group’s most iconic tracks, part of their final album before the group disbanded. It had been a massive hit, loved by both longtime fans and newcomers alike. Covering such a legendary song was a bold move, but Miyako knew better.
She muttered to herself, "That’s not going to go well." The pressure of living up to a B-Komachi song was too high.
Not every idol group could handle this song, and from the looks of this team, they might be in over their heads.
As the episode moves forward, the camera shifts to other groups. Miyako’s eyes scans the screen as more teams are introduced, some rehearsing, others being interviewed. Yet, one thing was becoming clear to her—many of these groups lacked the spark that was needed to survive in the cutthroat world of idols.
As the camera moves through various groups, Miyako could already tell who had what it took to make a debut and who didn’t. It wasn’t just about singing or dancing; it was about presence. And some of these groups, unfortunately, didn’t have enough of it.
This episode contains each of the group's preparations for their performance and cover.
Anyway, the second episode of the idol survival show continued, the next scene features Ruby. Ever since Ruby joined, Miyako had made it a routine to watch every episode, eager to see how things were going. Today’s episode felt especially intense—the formation of groups had been announced, and Ruby had been placed in Team 25.
The episode opened with the camera panning to the members of Team 25 gathered in a rehearsal room. Ruby sat with the rest of her team, her face determined as they discussed their upcoming performance.
"Looks like they’ve been assigned a cover song from M4," Miyako muttered to herself, recognizing the famous idol group. The team has to prepare a rendition of one of their most iconic songs.
Lara, one of the quieter members, appeared in a solo interview. "I couldn’t believe we got an M4 song," she said, shaking her head in disbelief. "It’s a huge responsibility."
Luna, on the other hand, was more composed. “I just hope nothing goes wrong," she said with a smiley face.
Back in the rehearsal room, the camera captured the group throwing around ideas. Miyako’s attention sharpened when Ruby confidently stepped forward to present her concept for the performance.
Ruby, her voice clear: "I think we should focus on the power of the song, especially during the bridge. We can also create our own choreography and arrangement for this cover to emphasise the power of the lyrics and create something memorable."
Miyako smiles as she watches Ruby take charge. She is clearly more than just a talented performer—Ruby had vision.
It's not surprising though, considering the fact Ruby stuck by Ichigo’s side throughout her childhood.
Miyako suddenly feels bitter at the thought of Ichigo, so she decides to focus on the TV.
The scene cuts to an interview with Adashino, one of the members. She looked genuinely impressed as she spoke:
"Ruby is really something. To come up with a concept like that? She’s amazing."
“Ruby’s idea is brilliant—it’s really going to make us stand out.” Sarina, a member of Ruby's team, appeared next, practically buzzing with excitement despite her poker face.
Back in the rehearsal room, the mood shifted as the group began discussing who would sing the most challenging part of the song—the iconic bridge. The bridge was the emotional high point, and the team needed someone with a voice strong enough to carry it.
Miyako frowns. There's a weird cut between the scenes, and suddenly the girls decide that each member needs to sing the bridge one by one, to know who would suit to sing the bridge more.
One by one, the girls took their turns singing the difficult section. The camera zoomed in on Kana, who hesitated before standing up. Kana had always been known for her acting skills more than her singing, and there was a brief pause as the other girls waited for her to begin.
Miyako watches closely as Kana starts to sing. Her voice, unexpectedly powerful and full of emotion, filled the room. Everyone fell silent, their eyes widening in surprise. Meanwhile, Kana just stares at the ceiling with a resigned look.
“Did I… do something wrong?” At the sudden silence, Kana hesitantly asked.
“Wrong?” Ruby is suddenly in front of Kana, shaking her. “Why are you so quiet all the time?! You sang like an angel!”
The scene cut to Kana’s interview clip, where she still looked baffled.
"I’m not sure why everyone’s so surprised... I just sang like I normally do," Kana says, scratching her head.
Seriously? Miyako blinks in amusement and disbelief. If Kana was a few years older, Miyako from years ago would've torn herself apart just to recruit her.
"I can’t believe Kana doesn’t know how amazing she is! Her voice is perfect for the bridge." In another interview, Suzushiro, another team member, chuckled in disbelief.
The camera then panned to Ruby, who smiled warmly as she spoke. "Kana is such a great singer. I’m really happy she’s in our group—we’re going to blow everyone’s expectations away."
Miyako couldn't help but feel proud of Ruby and her group. She smiled as the episode wrapped up, excited to see how their performance would turn out. With Ruby’s leadership and Kana’s hidden talent, Team 25 was shaping up to be a strong contender.
The episode ended with a cliffhanger, each group is going to perform the cover that was chosen for them. So episode 3 would be about their performance.
***
Finding the Star [Episode 2] Discussion
AquaFan_13
Ruby’s presence is such a nice breath of fresh air. She’s bringing a lot of charm and excitement to the show already!
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
Qwerty_mnbvC
Glad to see Memcho back! She was one of my favourites in the last show, and I’m looking forward to her performances this time around
↟ 1.7k ↡ 💬 Reply
Ai_from_Bkomachi_stan
I’m so happy to see Memcho back on another idol show. She was great last time, and I’m excited to see what she brings to this new competition
↟ 1.2k ↡ 💬 Reply
Noboy_Nobody876
Wait a minute, Hoshino Ruby is here?! Is Aqua also here too?!
↟ 2.3k ↡ 💬 Reply
Jessica_Cheboy
LMAO Sarina doesn't seem like she wants to be there when she steps away from the stage compared to when she's performing.
↟ 999 ↡ 💬 Reply
Gakuno_Stan
She's me when I'm at home vs when I'm at school
↟ 898 ↡ 💬 Reply
Hound_to_ground
I’m loving Sarina’s quirks. She brings such a fun and humorous element to the show, and it’s great to see her stand out!
↟ 821 ↡ 💬 Reply
Sakura_Cardcaptor12344
She's a walking meme LMAO
↟ 611 ↡ 💬 Reply
Ai_fan_boy
Oof, there's a group who would cover the Challenger song from B-Komachi.
↟ 777 ↡ 💬 Reply
National_Bkomachi
That's easy to do other than the choreography
↟ 284 ↡ 💬 Reply
InternetStreamers_fans
Wait, hold up! Did Kana just nail that bridge? Like, THIS is the same girl who sang the bell pepper song?!
↟ 884 ↡ 💬 Reply
Ari_Nation
Honestly, I had zero expectations after that bell pepper disaster, but Kana’s voice is legit amazing. I’m shook.
↟ 409 ↡ 💬 Reply
Addicted_in_theatre
Watching Kana is a bit tough. I can’t help but feel sorry for her. It’s clear she’s struggling to find her footing after her past success
↟ 760 ↡ 💬 Reply
Sad_Sakura
An M4 cover song?? In female idol groups?? Hmmm
↟ 222 ↡ 💬 Reply
***
Sarina frowns, her eyes glued to the TV screen as the credits roll. “So our performance won’t air until the next episode?” she asks, frustration creeping into her voice.
“It’s a perfect cliffhanger, if you ask me. Builds anticipation,” Adashino replies, lounging comfortably on the couch with a resigned sigh and a shrug.
“But what about the people who watched it live?” Sarina presses. “They already know what happened, it’s basically a spoiler.”
“The agency’s got it handled,” Adashino says with a small grin. “They’ll take down any video posts, but they’re fine with leaked photos. It adds to the hype.”
Sarina leans back, nodding slowly. “Now that you said it, that makes so much sense…”
Before Adashino can respond, a voice cuts through the room.
“Why are you two even here?” Kana groans as she steps out of the bathroom, brow furrowed. She looks more annoyed than surprised.
Kana’s apartment is modest, sparsely decorated, but with enough personal touches to hint at her efforts to make it feel like home. At least, that’s what Adashino thought the first time she saw it.
“To watch the show together!” Adashino answers brightly, turning toward Kana with a playful smile.
Sarina nods, her expression softening into a relaxed, almost a mischievous smile. “It’s more fun this way. Sharing the suspense.”
“The show’s already over,” Kana grumbles, eyeing them with disbelief. “You can go now.”
Adashino doesn’t budge. “Where’s the fun in that? Besides, we wouldn’t miss your company for the world.”
“Yeah,” Sarina adds, deadpan but teasing. “Wouldn’t want you to feel left out.” Her tone doesn’t match her resting bitch face, but the joke lands anyway.
Kana sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “It’s almost lunchtime. I don’t have any food here.”
“Then I’ll cook,” Adashino says, already standing up. “What ingredients do you have?”
“Or we can just order,” Sarina suggests, stretching. “We’ll pay our share.”
Kana shakes her head, resigned. “Do whatever you want with my kitchen.”
Adashino chuckles, undeterred. “I don’t mind cooking. So, what do you have in stock?”
Kana hesitates. “…Nothing?”
“What?” Sarina tilts her head. “Don’t you cook?”
“I’m not good at it,” Kana mumbles, clearly embarrassed.
Adashino stares at her for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Kana shifts uncomfortably under the weight of it.
Then Adashino grins. “Let’s go shopping!”
“Wha—?”
“Wait, does Arima even have any money to—?”
“I do— a lot, actually —but—”
“Then let’s go!” Adashino pumps her fist and turns to Sarina. “You’re coming too.”
Sarina gets up without hesitation. “Sure.”
“Wait what?!”
Later, in a bustling local market, the three of them stroll through the aisles, picking out ingredients for homemade curry. The air is rich with the scent of fresh produce and spices, grounding Kana in the moment.
“I know I’ve got a mean streak,” Adashino says lightly, scanning the produce, “but... I think of you two as friends now.” She glances at them, her expression warm. “So if either of you has anything weighing on your mind, you can talk to me. Seriously.”
Kana’s fingers brush over a bundle of vegetables, her gaze distant. The offer lingers in her mind, tugging at something buried.
Her past was shaped by neglect. A mother who left. A father who never cared. Emotional support wasn’t something she grew up with, it was a concept that always felt just out of reach. Adashino’s words feel both unexpected and disarming.
She murmurs, “No one’s ever said that to me before.” Her voice is quiet. Vulnerable.
Kana doesn’t say the last part— not even my parents —but it hangs in the air all the same. They already know enough.
Adashino softens. “I get that it might be hard to believe. But I mean it. I’m here, okay?”
Sarina glances between them. Her poker face is intact, but her eyes are gentler now, thoughtful.
Then Sarina narrows them at Adashino. “You’re adopting us, aren’t you?”
Kana blinks. Wait—what?
Adashino bursts out laughing. “You know what? I could!”
Kana groans but can’t help the small smile tugging at her lips.
Back at Kana’s apartment, the atmosphere shifts into something quieter. Comfortable.
Adashino and Sarina move naturally in the kitchen, chatting as they prep ingredients. Kana watches them from the doorway, still trying to make sense of it all. Their easy presence, the warmth they offer so casually. It’s almost too much.
She clears her throat. “Do you need help with anything?”
Adashino shakes her head. “Nah, I’ve got it. Think of it as payment for letting us invade your space.”
Fair enough, Kana thinks, snorting softly.
It’s a simple thing, making curry together. But somehow, it feels like more than that.
Sarina hasn’t lost her resting face, but her voice is soft. “I’m really happy to be here…”
Adashino’s smile widens.
Kana’s own expression softens. She watches the curry simmer and feels something shift inside her. She’s not sure what the future holds, maybe things will change. But for now, for this one peaceful moment, she’s not alone.
And that’s enough.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she stopped thinking of the reason she fell in love with the stage but as an idol this time. It can wait for now.
Notes:
If it's not obvious enough... I'm just going to straight up say it...!
I want to explore a fic where Kana loves being an actress AND ALSO being an idol. Her being an idol in canon has a lot of potential. I just don't want her being one just because of Aqua (or helping Ruby). The fact Kana canonically has a talent where people can't help but look at her because it feels like watching a sun and she can also sing too is...!?!?!? THAT IS AN IDOL MATERIAL. SHE SHOULD'VE WANTED TO BECOME AN IDOL. CHANGE MY MIND. I DONT CARE. TALK TO THE WALL.
Anyway, it's hard to do a interview scene, so I might do that less and less.
Chapter 26: Book 2: First Game
Summary:
"You’ve done so well, Ruby. Take some time to unwind and enjoy being home. You’ve earned it.” Miyako patted Ruby's shoulder gently.
Ruby beams, feeling grateful for Miyako’s support.
Notes:
I am so sorry for not updating so long, the loss of motivation hit me too much but I do promise I am going to finish this fic even if it will take 10 years.
Anyway, enjoy reading this chapter! It's Ruby's POV!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Are you sure you really want takeout?” Miyako questions.
“Yep!”
“Alright.”
As Ruby settles onto the, she watches the documentary show on TV with a bored look on her face. She just came back from the idol show, and now Ruby doesn't know what to do with herself.
Ruby still remembers the team 25’s performance … It was amazing.
Miyako comes up behind Ruby and places a hand on her shoulder, a gentle smile on her face. "So, how was the survival show?" she questions, her tone warm and encouraging.
Ruby turns to Miyako, her eyes bright with enthusiasm. "Absolutely! I gave my all out there."
At first, Ruby would've given the ticket to Miyako but she decided against it. Her mom was working from home that day and she can't afford to slack off recently now that the Strawberry Production is standing on its own again after 3 years.
Miyako’s smiles widened. "That’s wonderful to hear. What did you think of your teammates?"
Ruby leans back, her expression thoughtful as she reflects on her time with the team. "Well, Lara—she was a bit… uhhh, something. Some of my teammates had some rough patches with her. There's also Sarina….” Ruby has a complicated look on her face before she smoothes it out. “She’s fun, I guess. Luna was pretty quiet and ditzy, I'm not judging but that's what I saw of her character! There's also… Suzushiro seemed like the most normal one among us, which was kind of a relief. Kana... I can't quite figure her out. And Adashino? She seemed a bit suspicious to me, even though I noticed she was quite fond of Kana and Sarina."
She listens intently, nodding as Ruby speaks. Miyako settles next to Ruby on the couch,
The woman hums. “I knew it, something is going on with that Lara girl, huh?”
Ruby tilts her head. “You have suspicion? How?”
“Because there's a weird cut in episode 2 of Finding Star. I noticed your group came from planning which part of the song a member should do, then to decide who would sing the bridge.” Miyako sighs. “Maybe it's because I know some things about editing but that transition is a little bit weird for me.”
The blonde girl nervously chuckles. “Let's just say that two of the girls don't like Lara, while Lara herself is trying to look for a fight.”
Miyako clicks her tongue. "It sounds like you had quite an experience with the team."
Ruby sighs, with a mix of satisfaction, exhaustion and relief. "Hah… you could say that again."
Being a mediator for Team 25 is also not fun because she also agrees with Kana and Adashino of how annoying Lara is.
"You’ve done so well, Ruby. Take some time to unwind and enjoy being home. You’ve earned it.” Miyako patted Ruby's shoulder gently.
Ruby beams, feeling grateful for Miyako’s support.
The documentary show eventually ended and she changed the channel.
"So, are you ready for the new round? I imagine there will be new groupmates, especially if there were issues with your first group.” Miyako leaned on the couch, her curiosity piqued.
Ruby laughs lightly, her confidence evident. "I’m not sure what to expect, but I’ll be fine. I've learned how to spot a liar. That’ll definitely help."
Her mom’s expression turns contemplative, and she falls silent. The weight of Ruby’s words hung in the air, revealing an undercurrent of deeper concerns.
Miyako hesitates for a moment, then finally she speaks up. "By the way, Aqua called me earlier. He wanted to catch up and see how you’re doing."
Ruby’s expression hardens ever so slightly, and she quickly interjects, "I don’t want to talk about him right now."
There's a sad look on her mom's face, it made Ruby hate herself. She never wanted to see her mom look like this, but she can't help what she feels toward the brother who Ruby thought she could trust.
Her mom, sensing the intensity in Ruby’s voice, nodded in understanding. "Alright, we don’t have to discuss him if you’re not ready."
The room fell into a quiet, comfortable stillness as Miyako respected Ruby’s wish to avoid the topic. The two of them sat together, each lost in their own thoughts.
Again, It's obvious how it breaks Miyako's heart to see Aqua and Ruby fighting. But like hell Ruby would easily reconcile with her brother.
Eventually, their take out order is here by the ring of the doorbell. Miyako broke the silence with a gentle; "Lunch is ready. Why don’t we eat?”
She tentatively nods, and together they move to the dining table.
***
When Ruby was ten years old, she moved to America with Aqua and Miyako.
Thanks to Kuroyama’s connections, Aqua landed a role almost immediately.
Naturally, Ruby grew worried. Aqua was diving headfirst into work like there was no tomorrow, like he had something he needed to prove. She knew he’d always wanted fair competition when it came to acting roles. He didn’t exactly hate nepotism, but he disliked being chosen just for his popularity. Aqua wanted to earn every role, to know he deserved it.
So why was he accepting a big project without giving other kids a real chance? Sure, there was still an audition, but Ruby learned it was all staged. Gotanda told her during one of their occasional phone calls.
Still, she brushed it off. Aqua was grieving. They all were.
Ruby had always told him she’d be there for him, no matter what. And Aqua would smile at her when she did but that smile didn’t comfort her anymore.
Especially not when Aqua announced he wasn’t going back to school. He planned to take a GED once he was older instead.
Much later, Ruby would learn the real reason he wants to drop out of school.
Miyako had been worried too, but Aqua brushed her off with a casual, “I’m fine.”
Eventually, Miyako tried to put her foot down—Aqua’s education mattered. But in the end, he was stubborn. And with Aqua being a genius in academics, she relented.
Miyako—the only mother they had left—wasn’t doing well either, for obvious reasons.
In the early days, before they left for America, she tried to hide the fact that she was drinking every night. But Ruby and Aqua knew better. Especially during those sleepless nights when they crept out of their room for a bit of air.
Ruby knew how hard this was for her mom. People were still tearing down Strawberry Productions, no one wanted to be associated with the agency blamed for Ai’s death.
Even Miyako’s husband—Saitou, their supposed other dad—disappeared.
Ruby was still furious about that.
One of those nights, when Miyako was once again drinking herself to sleep, Ruby decided to go into the kitchen.
Her mom looked startled to see her and quickly moved toward her. “Is something wrong, Ruby?”
For her mom to ask that first…
Ruby clutched her mother's arms and quietly said, “It’s okay, Mom. We’re here. We’re not going to leave you.”
Miyako burst into tears and immediately grabbed Ruby into her chest.
The next day, Miyako apologized for her behavior, but Ruby waved it off.
“It’s fine if you’re sad, Mom,” Ruby said with a small smile. “You need comfort too, so I’ll do the job.”
Miyako only looked more heartbroken as she carded her fingers through Ruby’s blonde hair. “You’re such a blessing, Ruby.”
Ruby didn’t really understand what she meant, but she leaned into her mother’s warmth anyway.
Aqua, on the other hand… was drifting away from mom.
It was like his old personality was fading more and more each day.
One morning, just before he left for work, Ruby called out to him.
He was about to turn the doorknob but paused. “What’s wrong, Ruby?”
That—his genuine concern—was the one thing that hadn’t changed. Aqua would always be there by Ruby's side no matter how he drifted from other people.
Ruby walked over and hugged him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder as tears welled up in her eyes.
She was so afraid of losing him too. Mama was gone, Dad had ghosted them, and Gotanda was still in Japan.
Aqua gently hugged her back, patting her on the back. “You can tell me if something’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong, just…” she whispered. “I’m scared I might lose you too.”
Aqua’s arms tightened around her—not in a painful way, but firm and protective.
“You won’t lose me,” he said. “Ever.”
“Promise?” she asked.
She felt his smile against her forehead. “Promise.”
After that, Ruby and Miyako let Aqua do as he pleased, supporting him the best they could.
By the time Ruby was eleven, she watched in awe as her brother began to succeed.
It inspired her.
“You’ll be an amazing idol, I know you’re going to surpass me,” Mama had said once, her voice thick with pain—just before death took her away.
So Ruby joined a talent show meant for kids her age. She wanted to build her career from the ground up and, eventually, become an idol.
But…
Her voice cracked.
Her vocals were nowhere near as strong as they used to be.
Ruby didn’t like to think about it anymore. She’d already healed from that memory—mostly. She didn’t want to remember how she had sobbed pathetically that night, clutching her phone and calling Misako in the middle of the night.
When she finally figured out how to manage her voice issues, Ruby began applying to more talent shows. But every phone call she received brought nothing but rejection.
And then… that incident happened.
What Aqua did—what Ruby discovered months ago—scarred her.
It felt like betrayal.
No, it was definitely betrayal.
But she still loved her brother.
She just… didn’t want to see him for a while.
If she did, they’d only end up arguing again.
***
Ruby is back on the survival show.
It still honestly surprises her that she’s currently ranked number one, at least according to the judges. But she’s not complaining.
She just hopes she can maintain her position once the public voting begins.
“Ruby!”
The blonde girl looks up and grins at the source of the voice. “Memcho!”
She’s in the middle of unpacking her belongings in her dorm room as Memcho leans casually against the doorway, smiling.
Their rooms are right next to each other which makes sense. Ruby’s in first place, and Memcho’s in second. The top ten contestants get VIP treatment, and honestly, Ruby loves it.
Still, as happy as she is to see Memcho again, it’s a little awkward facing the person she technically beat in the last round.
Especially since the song cover Memcho’s team performed—one of Ai’s songs—flopped. Ruby had watched that performance. Watched how they handled a song her mother created. It stung a little. But she doesn’t blame Memcho about it.
“So, what’s up?” Ruby asks, shuffling through the last of her things. She’s kind of glad her hands are occupied.
Memcho chuckles. “After that performance disaster? I’m doing great. Just nervous. If voting starts after episode three of Finding Star, I’m scared my rank will drop.”
So… they’re going to talk about it.
Ruby figures she should’ve seen it coming. Right after all the performances ended, Memcho came over and congratulated her. Ruby had congratulated her back awkwardly, and that was pretty much it. The air had turned stiff between them after that.
“You honestly don’t need to worry about it,” Ruby says, closing her suitcase and sitting on the edge of the mattress. “I watched episodes one and two yesterday. Not surprisingly, the editing made you look like an angel.”
Memcho pulls a face. “Still, I don’t trust it. These idol shows are so cutthroat. One minute you're the sweet fan favorite, the next you’re ‘the villain’ of the week.”
Ruby gets it. She really does.
She’s seen it firsthand, how producers can build up someone’s image, then rip it apart the second it’s convenient. Some contestants look like saints on screen but are absolute nightmares in real life. And when a producer invests in a contestant’s image only for that contestant to mess up? Yeah. They’ll bury you.
But Ruby grew up watching that cycle. She spent her childhood around Saitou. She watched Miyako manage idols. She knows how the industry works—probably better than most.
Although Ruby grew up in the entertainment industry, Mecho is the one who intimately knows survival shows.
Especially when this is the 2nd time Memcho joined in.
“No, seriously, you don’t have to stress about that,” Ruby says, shifting into a more relaxed position. “If anything, I’d be more worried about your other teammates.”
“What—?”
Before Memcho can finish, both their phones ping at the same time.
They glance down.
Another event announcement from the producers.
***
All the girls are gathered in the massive events room. Ruby scans the crowd, quickly spotting Kana and the others, completely separated from the top ten contestants.
It’s a relief, honestly. Especially because the girl standing beside Kana is…
Sarina Tendouji.
Ruby exhales, subtle but tight. What are the odds of someone sharing both her old first name and surname? It’s rare, sure, but not impossible.
It's a bit creepy though.
I should be the one wearing that face—
It’s not fair
This was my dream
Why can she fucking walk?!
Still, she avoids looking in that direction too much. Avoiding the girl altogether is preferable.
“For the next event,” Himura announces cheerfully from the front of the room, “we’re going to play a game!”
Some of the girls murmur in surprise. Ruby tilts her head slightly.
“I know some of you just got back to the dorms,” Himura continues, “so this should be a stress relief.”
Staff members begin handing out large tote bags to each contestant. Ruby takes one and runs her fingers along the surface. It’s thick. Durable. Heavy-duty. She blinks. What exactly are they supposed to use this for?
Himura answers the question before she even needs to ask. “Every building in the Finding Star program—except for the dorms—is hiding tennis balls. Your job is to find as many as possible and put them in your bags. It’s forbidden to steal from anyone once the balls are inside their bags. The winner will be whoever collects the most tennis balls. There's going to be a timer which all you have is one hour.”
Ruby internally sighs. Sure, they could do that. Follow the rules, hunt down tennis balls like obedient little contestants. But... Why? She already knows the winner will get a prize, but the whole thing feels suspiciously childish.
As if reading her mind, Himura flashes a mischievous grin. “Don’t worry. The prize will be worth it.”
The crowds murmured to themselves, talking to each other while the others decided to be alone for this game. At the same time, Himura's grin widens as if he's enjoying this.
Ruby narrows her eyes suspiciously.
“When are we going to start?” someone calls from the crowd.
“Hm?” Himura tilts his head, pretending to be puzzled. “It just started.”
“What?!”
“You didn’t even tell us—!”
“Hey! That’s not fair!”
But Memcho is already gone.
The second Himura said the game had already started, Memcho bolted for the stairs, eyes blazing with determination, jaw set like a soldier going to war.
Everyone watches, stunned for a moment. Then—
Chaos.
Girls scramble after her, rushing for the exit with matching energy.
“Huh. Even Sarina is fired up,” someone mutters near Ruby.
At the mention of her old name, Ruby instinctively glances toward the voice. She spots Kana and Adashino still standing there, eyes on the staircase like everyone else.
Right. Her name is Hoshino Ruby. Not Tendouji Sarina. She hopes whatever expression the camera caught just now doesn’t make it into the final edit.
With her usual practiced smile, Ruby walks over to them. “Not going to follow the crowd?”
Both Kana and Adashino blink at her, either surprised that she’s speaking to them or that she’s even still here.
Adashino answers first with a sly smirk. “Me and Kana have a plan.”
“Huh? We do?” Kana furrows her brows, clearly confused.
“Of course we do.” Adashino blinks at her like it’s obvious. “There’s a reason you stayed behind, right?”
“Huh?”
“Eh?”
Ruby watches their confused exchange, trying not to burst into laughter.
“So I take it there’s no plan at all?” Ruby sniggers.
“Apparently not.” Adashino lifts an elegant brow at Kana. “So? Why did you stay?”
“Winning doesn’t interest me,” Kana shrugs. “But lazing around before another exhausting idol performance does.”
Ruby chuckles. “Okay, that’s fair.”
Adashino laughs under her breath, then glances at Ruby. “Although… I have a feeling you and I are thinking the same thing.”
Kana narrows her eyes, looking from Adashino’s knowing smirk to Ruby’s playful one.
“So… what is the plan, exactly?” she asks cautiously.
Adashino glances at the now half-empty room. Most of the staff—including Himura—are gone, chasing after the chaos. Only a couple of camera operators remain.
“The host said every building in the Finding Star compound has tennis balls,” Adashino points out.
“It’s possible the rooms outside of this building have even more,” Ruby adds smoothly. “Maybe the ones no one’s rushing into.”
“And if we end up collecting more than the others…” Adashino grins. “Imagine their faces.”
“Their reactions would be delicious,” Ruby says, eyes sparkling.
“Heavenly,” Adashino agrees.
They both share a maniacal little laugh.
Kana takes a step back.
“I see. So that’s the plan.” She eyes the exit longingly where the dorm is. “Then I’ll just go tell Sarina and the others—”
“Nope.” Adashino links arms with her before she can escape.
“You’re with us,” Ruby chimes in cheerfully.
“It’ll be fun!” Adashino insists, her voice singsong.
Kana shudders a little. “My lazy day is slipping away…”
Ruby beams at her, completely unbothered. “But this is so much more adventurous.”
Before Kana can protest again, the two of them are dragging her toward the exit. The two cameramen follow at a distance, intrigued.
Kana lets out a dramatic groan. “Ugh, I just wanted to nap!”
But neither Ruby nor Adashino is letting go. The game is on.
***
"I’ve been forced,” Kana mutters under her breath. “I shouldn’t be here doing this.”
“Oh, really?” Ruby deadpans, eyeing her.
Adashino sighs, looking absolutely dead inside. “This is kind of unfair.”
The three of them wander from building to building across the Finding Star complex—the office lobby, the gym, some unlabelled annexes. Yes, they’ve found tennis balls—several, actually but not quite as many as they’d hoped.
Ruby and Adashino glance down into their tote bags. Six to eleven tennis balls, at best.
“I didn’t think it’d be this easy to find them,” Kana says, stepping out of a janitor’s closet with her tote bag already full. “At least being forced into this labor has its perks.”
“Oi! You’re actually happy about this!” Ruby clutches Kana’s shoulder, scandalized, as Kana looks away with a self-satisfied little smile. “Admit it! You like this development!”
Kana blinks at her innocently, pulling out the big guns—puppy eyes and a high-pitched, cutesy voice. “I don’t know what you mean. You dragged me into this.”
Adashino grabs at her chest like she’s in pain. “Is this what older siblings feel like when their younger sister suddenly gets blessed with divine luck?”
Ruby staggers back beside her, pretending to wipe away tears. “The youngest is supposed to be the favorite! I’m the youngest here! Ugh… the betrayal…”
“Oh right, you two were theatre kids.” Kana stares at them, unimpressed, as their melodrama continues.
Without another word, she turns on her heel and leaves them behind.
“Rude!” Ruby pouts and immediately goes after her, Adashino trailing behind.
“It’s kind of ironic, though,” Adashino says with a light laugh. “The one who didn’t even want to join ends up with the most tennis balls.”
Kana suddenly halts mid-step. She spins to face Adashino, something a little uneasy flickering across her expression.
“Is that… bad?” she asks quietly, eyes flicking toward the nearest camera before she quickly looks away again.
Ruby’s surprised. The Kana she remembers from years ago—that sharp, arrogant child actress—would’ve scoffed at the question. Then again, Ruby never really knew her.
Adashino snorts and gently pats Kana’s head. “It’s just funny to think about,” she says with a warm smile. “Seriously though, you're amazing.”
“Yeah! Super impressive!” Ruby grins. “Maybe I should start calling you senpai. It fits.”
“You really don’t have to do that. I know I’m amazing already,” Kana says, puffing herself up, though her hand moves to cover her flushed cheeks, and she turns slightly to hide the wide smile tugging at her lips.
She’s… really adorable, Ruby thinks absentmindedly.
“I can help both of you find more tennis balls!” Kana says brightly, suddenly fired up.
“I don’t know if that’s realistic,” Ruby says, glancing at the clock on the wall. “We’re almost out of the hour.”
“I agree with Ruby,” Adashino adds. “We should probably start heading back—”
But Kana’s already gone. She bolts into the kitchen like lightning.
Ruby and Adashino share a look, shrug, and follow after her.
They’ve entered another branch building of the Finding Star program, only the first floor is accessible. Ruby briefly worries they might be intruding, but a quick scan of the area eases her nerves. The place is empty except for the ever-dedicated cameramen.
While Kana scours every inch of the kitchen hall, Ruby and Adashino decide to fan out and search on their own.
“Tada!” Kana announces proudly a few minutes later, rolling a handful of tennis balls toward them. “I only found twelve, but I hope it helps.”
The two girls share the unexpected loot—each taking six—with a mix of gratitude and mild shame.
“I feel kinda guilty grabbing these…” Ruby murmurs as she crouches to tuck them into her tote bag. “But… Huh. Maybe I really should start calling you senpai.”
“Thank you, Kana…” Adashino says, placing the last of hers into her own bag.
Kana beams at them, her smile wide and genuine.
Adashino smiles back, a little softer.
Ruby watches them for a moment. Kana’s height only reaches Adashino’s shoulder, and from where she’s standing, they look like sisters. A pang flickers in Ruby’s chest at the sight.
Sisters… Siblings…
She frowns, just slightly, as her thoughts drift to her own twin brother.
***
“The winner of this event is Arima Kana!” the host announces brightly.
All eyes swivel toward Kana. A wave of envy and disbelief washes over the room. The once-revered genius child actress just blinks, expression unreadable, while Ruby and Adashino stand silently beside her.
“But that’s unfair!” Lara protests, her voice cutting through the tension as she steps forward. “We barely found any tennis balls in this building!”
Behind Himura, a massive screen lights up, revealing the top three contestants with the highest count:
1. Arima Kana
2. Adashino Mei
3. Hoshino Ruby
4. …
5. …
6. …
Ruby glances back at Memcho and Sarina, who are standing together in a slump. Their faces are utterly blank, their spirits clearly crushed. Ruby swears she can almost see their souls leaving their bodies.
Honestly? Ruby agrees with Lara. This whole thing is unfair. People only started figuring it out late in the game, that there were far more tennis balls outside this building than inside. The whole challenge feels rigged from the beginning.
“I didn’t even find anything…” Memcho murmurs.
“What’s the point…?” Sarina says hollowly, her eyes locked on some random wall.
Lara and Suzushiro are also visibly disheartened. Well, Luna looks like she couldn’t care less, but Lara is another story entirely. She’s openly glaring daggers at Kana. Ruby looks away, irritation flickering to life despite her own agreement with Lara’s frustration. If Lara keeps acting like that on camera, it’ll bite her back hard. This is still a program, and the cameras never stop rolling.
“This is really ironic…” Adashino sighs beside Ruby, subtly eyeing Lara. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry…”
She’s right. The irony is palpable. The one who didn’t even want to play the game ends up with the most tennis balls, while those who fought tooth and nail for them walk away empty-handed.
Himura lets out a theatrical sigh. “It’s not my fault some of you didn’t think to search outside.”
“Still—”
“Anyway!” he cuts in cheerily. “It’s time to give Arima Kana her prize!”
Now here’s the thing… Ruby likes Himura. She’s only met him a handful of times, but after her mother’s rise to fame, she’d followed his career closely. Himura had transitioned from being a well-known host and used to be the B-Komachi's producer until her mama took over to become. So Himura then became a freelance producer, working with idols and singers across the industry.
It had surprised Ruby when Himura agreed to return to the spotlight as a host again.
So yes—she likes Himura. But as a host? He’s infuriating.
Then again, he’s just doing his job.
Kana-senpai walks to the stage in her usual calm, calculated manner, expression perfectly neutral. As always, Ruby is struck by how professional Kana is in these moments. Yet she can’t help but feel a pang of guilt—she’s the one who dragged Kana into this. Kana didn’t even want to join.
Once Kana stands beside Himura, the typical back-and-forth between winner and host begins. Ruby tunes out, until she hears something that makes her blink in surprise.
“And for the prize…!” Himura announces, dramatically raising a hand. “You get to pick four people to form a team for the next round!”
Oh?
Adashino and Sarina visibly perk up. Around the room, jaws drop.
Kana blinks, her mouth parting. “Then I’ll pick—”
“Ah, but wait!” Himura interrupts, finger raised. “You can’t pick the other two who scored highest.” He gestures at the screen where Ruby and Adashino’s names are displayed. “And you definitely can’t pick your friends.”
Seriously?
Ruby groans internally. She forgot how much of a pain these survival idol programs could be. Ruby remembers ranting about this four years ago—only for Saitou to shrug and say, “ It’s for entertainment.”
Kana sighs slowly. Ruby knows that look—her senpai is annoyed, no doubt about it.
Beside her, Adashino is smiling, but Ruby notices her fists clenched tight, knuckles white.
“O! And before I forget!” Himura chimes again, clearly enjoying his role a little too much.
Ruby resists the urge to glare. This is the same Himura who used to be the main producer of B-Komachi before stepping back? She used to idolize this man.
“Episode 3 will air in five days,” he announces. “During the ending credits, voting will open. Only sixty contestants will remain in the show.”
Sixty? But as of now, the contestants are over a hundred.
The mood instantly shifts. Ruby sees everyone bristle. Memcho and Sarina glance at each other, suddenly more aware of the people around them. Lara tenses visibly, and even Luna finally reacts—just a twitch of her brow.
On stage, Kana remains composed.
“Wait,” Kana speaks up, her tone calm but sharp. “If the voting starts after Episode 3, will contestants be eliminated if they don’t receive enough votes?”
“Naturally,” Himura replies, his smile softening with performative sympathy.
“Then what happens if I pick someone who ends up with the fewest votes?” Kana asks. “Would they still be disqualified?”
“Yes,” Himura answers. “And if your team is reduced to just one or two member after voting, your team still needs to perform despite the lack of members.”
What the hell?
So that’s how this show’s going to play it. Ruthless.
“That concludes today’s announcements!” Himura grins. Then he turns to Kana with exaggerated curiosity. “So, have you decided who you’ll pick for your team?”
Silence descends. Every eye in the room is fixed on the girl once dubbed a prodigy. With the voting system now revealed, this moment suddenly matters a lot. Whoever Kana chooses might survive—or sink.
Ruby watches as Kana swallows, her expression uncertain for the first time since stepping on stage.
Then, Kana opens her mouth to speak.
“Then, I’ll pick—”
Notes:
Ruby, my fav girl who likes to repress and bottle up her feelings and thoughts... she's so bubbly, isn't she?
I hope some of you notice the crumbs of her darkside
By the way, comments are always welcome (I'm begging), because it really motivates me to write T__T
Again, I am so sorry for the late update.
Chapter 27: Book 2: Social media reactions
Summary:
“Arima?”
Kana looks up from her phone, blinking at the girl with dark purple hair standing over her. She’s currently sitting cross-legged on the dance room floor, so she has to tilt her head back to meet her groupmate’s eyes.
“What’s up, Yoshizumi?”
The dance studio settles into silence, the echoes of music already faded a moment ago. The faint scent of sweat envelopes around the room, evidence of their earlier practice session, and making Kana scrunch her nose.
Well, it was quiet, until this kid opened her mouth.
Notes:
Ruby canonically loves to suppress her feelings so as the story goes on, she's going to be unreliable narrator at some point (Mind the tags. Same goes for Aqua who likes to hide his own feelings)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The main stage is empty, save for one man.
Under a single spotlight, Himura stands center stage. Cameras roll in silence as the familiar host adjusts his mic and flashes a smile that makes it look like it reaches his eyes.
“Well,” he begins, his voice measured and calm, “the performances are over. You’ve seen every emotion, every step, every note they could give you.”
As he speaks, the scene cuts to silent B-roll, with Adashino, backstage, sitting on the couch, gently swinging her legs while talking quietly to Kana.
“Some have soared,” Himura continues. “Some… have stumbled.”
Cut to Memcho in a hallway, her back against the wall, eyes looking disappointed. Ruby walks by and gently nudges her shoulder, offering a small smile. Sarina tries to return it, but her lips barely move.
“But now,” Himura says, his smile deepening, “the true test begins.”
The camera lingers on Himura, who takes a step forward.
“Because from this moment on, the power isn’t in the hands of the judges… or the producers…”
Cut to Lara lounging in the dressing room, scrolling through her phone like nothing in the world could bother her. At the same time, some girls were also minding their business.
“…It's yours.”
Quick flashes of the contestants in different corners of the building. Some curled on couches, some getting makeup removed, some laughing, some sitting in silence—none of them aware of what’s happening right now on the main stage.
“The voting system starts now.” A graphic pulses across the screen: VOTING OPEN: WHO DESERVES TO DEBUT?
“And from this point on…” Himura’s tone drops into something more theatrical, more cutting. “You’re no longer just viewers.”
The silence stretches for half a beat.
“You’re shareholders.”
The word echoes.
Cut to Yoshizumi pacing slightly as she talks on the phone, brow furrowed. Sarina rubbed her face with both hands, exhausted.
“Every vote you cast is an investment, you can even vote multiple times at once,” Himura says with a grin. “So choose wisely.”
The camera slowly pulls away from the stage, leaving Himura in the center, swallowed by the lights and shadows.
“Because here on Finding Star... the market has just opened.”
The screen fades to black, and the music erupted before the ending credits rolled in.
***
Finding the Start [Episode 3] Discussion
Idolworld
THAT last group. Holy fucking WHAT.
↟ 2.3k ↡ 💬 Reply
Ai_Fan
I never thought team 25 would have blew my mind yet here we are
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
Qwerty_mnbvC
That cliffhanger was illegal! How could they end with the program cutting Kana’s decision?!
↟ 1.7k ↡ 💬 Reply
Ai_from_Bkomachi_stan
Honestly, this whole program was illegal from the start. How can the producers be so cruel????
↟ 1.2k ↡ 💬 Reply
Bkomachi_stan
Welcome to the world of Idol show!
↟ 675 ↡ 💬 Reply
Just_a_mob
I keep repeating the bridge of the Heroes from the Sky! It's soooo good.
↟ 999 ↡ 💬 Reply
Subaru_my Husband
Someone, call the M4 to react on this!
↟ 898 ↡ 💬 Reply
Choir from the chair
Memcho no :(
↟ 821 ↡ 💬 Reply
Hoshinos_Stan
Honestly speaking though, Memcho got unlucky to get one of the most iconic B-Komachi’s song.
↟ 611 ↡ 💬 Reply
Ai_fan_boy
Ok, so it's honestly understandable why Memcho lost. Challenger by B-Komachi can't be easily recycle, especially when the center is the legend itself.
↟ 777 ↡ 💬 Reply
Reborn and rejoin
Agree. No one can do it like Ai. Sadly, this contestants are too green to replace someone like her.
↟ 584 ↡ 💬 Reply
Crapping the shit
But it's really sad to see Memcho to be disappointed to herself.
↟ 343 ↡ 💬 Reply
TStar Hoshi
I was blushing the whole time during the group 25’s performance. Look at Adashino bro. No homo tho.
↟ 884 ↡ 💬 Reply
Ari_fan
🤨🤨🤨🤨
↟ 409 ↡ 💬 Reply
Genius actor_a clown
Nooooo I want to know who Kana picked. Also, I really love Ruby and Kana's friendship!
↟ 760 ↡ 💬 Reply
Noboy_Nobody876
Group 25 is soooooo isbsisksjaksksosbsjsjw
I need more of them please!
And what the hell Hoshino Ruby! I didn't know she had the talent to compose an amazing song!
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
***
Pandemonium
@AHell
#FindingStar #ArimaKana #AdashinoMei #TendoujiSarina #HoshinoRuby #Luna #Lara #SuzushiroMana
What the hell, they are amazing. My expectations went beyond. You can take my money Team 25!!!
50 replies 300 retweets 3.4k hearts
^
geekgeek
@gamerGaME
I'm not really into Arima. But damn, I think I'm going to start rooting for her. (Also when she originally wanted to just sleep during the game? Mood)
26 replies 200 retweets 989 hearts
AiStan
@Ai_Imafan
Ruby's presence during that stage was awesome! I'm sure she's going to debut. And the way she created the arrangement???? So talented!!
17 replies 109 retweets 789 hearts
Justin Jacob
@fuckyourlife
Adashino is so gorgeous and talented. I'm actually going to root for her. #FindingStar
1 replies 7 retweets 668 hearts
Walter
@NoobAmateur
Sarina’s off switch button is so funny. Like ma'am be srs 😭😭😭
3 replies 2 retweets 510 hearts
mei4life
@idolcore_
Not me using all 5 of my accounts just to vote for Adashino… she deserves the top spot, no debate. #FindingStar #AdashinoMei
14 replies 98 retweets 1.1k hearts
stargirlruby
@rubyrising
Ruby owned that stage. Voted for her like ten times and I’d do it again. She’s the future of this industry.
21 replies 120 retweets 1.5k hearts
walletempty
@notregrettingit
I know some ppl complain about the voting system but honestly? If I’m spending money, at least it’s to make sure my girl gets what she deserves. #WorthIt
6 replies 33 retweets 742 hearts
***
Troubadour
@Ai_num1fan
#ArimaKana #AdashinoMei #Hoshino Ruby
I'm actually here for Kana and her friendship with the other contestants. It's so wholesome
It's worth it to vote for them. Right, my empty wallet?
587 replies 989 retweets 7k hearts
^
Buff
@gymanstic
Don't forget Sarina, they are also cute. Wait! My money is gone! Where did it go? Oh right I voted! #VoteForSarina #VoteForRuby #FindingStar
33 replies 456 retweets 2k hearts
HeartPatrol
@IdolA-ri
This is why it angers me that the program doesn't allow Kana to pick a friend! It was so rigged! #VoteForKana
3 replies 200 retweets 1k hearts
HoshinoKids
@Twinnie
I need them to debut. im not joking. my credit card can take it
21 replies 89 retweets 710 hearts
***
“Arima?”
Kana looks up from her phone, blinking at the girl with dark purple hair standing over her. She’s currently sitting cross-legged on the dance room floor, so she has to tilt her head back to meet her groupmate’s eyes.
“What’s up, Yoshizumi?”
The dance studio settles into silence, the echoes of music already faded a moment ago. The faint scent of sweat envelopes around the room, evidence of their earlier practice session, and making Kana scrunch her nose.
Well, it was quiet, until this kid opened her mouth.
“Aren’t we going to practice?” Yoshizumi sniffs, arms crossed. “It feels lazy to just sit around like this.”
Ugh.
“Sorry, Yoshizumi,” Memcho steps in quickly, placing herself between them with a sheepish grin. “I’m just kinda tired too…”
“Same here,” Nase chimes in from the far corner of the room.
Kana’s quietly thankful she picked Memcho—someone who naturally keeps the group’s mood from turning heavy. She’s also glad Mitsuki Nase ended up on the team. With her long black hair and laid-back demeanor, Nase reminds Kana of Sarina in some ways, though where Sarina masks her nerves with a deadpan stare, Nase radiates calm without effort.
Yoshizumi scoffs. “That’s just an excuse. If we don’t put in the work, we’re going to lose.”
And here it is again.
Kana deeply regrets choosing Yoshizumi. She didn’t realize this girl was such a spoiled brat until spending more time with her.
“Why are you so obsessed with winning as a team?” Nase frowns. “It’s not like it determines anything. Our rankings are based on the votes.”
Can’t Yoshizumi see how drained everyone is? Just because she has boundless stamina doesn’t mean she gets to disregard the rest of the group. They’ve been practicing for hours. Everyone’s exhausted.
Yoshizumi, still fuming over her loss in the previous round where she ranked third, if Kana remembers right, is clearly taking it out on them.
“It might not affect our rank,” Yoshizumi shrugs, “but it proves we deserve to be here. And why should I care about the dumb voting system anyway? It should be about talent. Even if I get cut, I’ll know I’m better than most.”
Kana stares at her. This girl… Yes, she has raw talent and actually has a point, but that attitude? It needs a serious adjustment.
They've been dancing for hours.
“But Yoshizumi—”
“Ugh, whatever. I’m done.” She scowls and grabs her bag. “If you’re all just going to sit around and waste time, I don’t need to be here.”
True to her impulsive nature, Yoshizumi storms out before anyone can get another word in. She’s quick to snap, quick to command, and just as quick to leave the moment things don’t go her way.
Kana lets out a long sigh. “Times like this, I really miss Adashino and Sarina.”
“Even if she’s just 12, she really needs to work on that attitude,” Nase mutters, standing up to stretch before making her way toward the door.
Right. Yoshizumi Mimi is only 12 years old. A brat but still, a kid. Kana’s heard whispers that the girl comes from serious money, and honestly, it wouldn’t surprise her.
The age range in this program spans from 12 to 21. That’s just the reality of the idol industry in Japan.
The only reason Kana picked Yoshizumi is because the girl is talented—third in rank. Nase is fourth. It made sense to choose from the top five when Kana couldn't pick her friends.
Still, Yoshizumi is really talented. She doesn't have a strong presence as Ruby, but strong enough once they practice their choreography.
Additionally, Yoshizumi is vocally good. So Kana already knows her own voice will be overshadowed by the 12 year old.
But even if that girl is talented, she needs to learn how to connect with them or maybe make some friends in this show.
Speaking of friends… Kana groans into her hands. “Ugh, I really miss Adashino and Sarina.”
Memcho chuckles as she sits beside Kana on the floor. “It’s really nice to see some actual friendship between contestants.”
“You’re friends with Ruby, right?” Kana asks curiously.
“I am. But some contestants here only make friends to use each other to win.”
Memcho’s words bring Lara and Suzushiro to mind. Kana suspects Lara might be using Suzushiro for her own gain. Wouldn’t be surprising, honestly.
Not that it matters. Kana has her own thoughts about this idol show. Once the voting’s over—and if she’s popular enough—she’ll leave and go back to her agency to continue acting. That’s the plan. And truthfully, she’s already gotten what she came here for which is the exposure. She’s more visible to the public now than she’s been in years.
But for some reason, that thought twists something uncomfortably in her stomach.
“Hey, Memcho,” Kana murmurs, pulling her knees to her chest. “Why do you want to become an idol?”
Memcho smiles. “Might be a generic answer, but… because of Ai from B-Komachi.”
“You’re inspired by her or something?”
“You could say that.” Memcho’s eyes light up. “Whenever she’s on stage, she just… shines. I want to be like that someday.”
“I see…” It is a pretty standard dream, but Kana understands. Even as an actress, Ai always felt like something morez like an ethereal presence that outshone everything around her.
Kana remembers that one movie they were in together. Ai’s performance had been mesmerizing.
“How about you?” Memcho asks suddenly, catching Kana off guard. “I know you like being an idol, but I wanna hear your reasons.”
Huh? I like being an idol?
“How do you know I like being an idol?” Kana blurts before she can stop herself. Ugh. Her mouth is always ahead of her brain.
Memcho blinks. “You don’t? But I saw your face during the last stage. You looked like you loved it.”
Kana’s eyes widen slightly, but she quickly masks her reaction and looks away. Memcho must have imagined it. Being an idol… is just a means to an end.
“Anyway,” Kana says, abruptly shifting topics, “do you think we’ll be able to cover Light?”
It’s an obvious deflection, but Memcho lets it slide, and Kana’s grateful for that.
“I honestly don’t know if we’ll be okay,” Memcho sighs. “Imagine if Yoshizumi’s right. Maybe we should’ve practiced more.”
The thought sends a chill down Kana’s spine. “Please don’t jinx it. She’ll never let us hear the end of it.”
Especially not Kana, she’s the one who picked Yoshizumi for the team. Which, unfortunately, makes her the leader.
Memcho chuckles nervously, but her smile fades. “I still can’t believe we got Ari’s song.”
Yeah. Ari from B-Komachi. Now a solo artist, signed under a different agency. After the group disbanded, her debut album exploded in popularity. Some say she had industry connections, but no one denies her vocals are solid and her songs are genuinely good.
And now Kana’s group has to cover Light, one of the most popular singles from that debut album. It’s only been out for about two years. Fans will definitely be watching, ready to critique every second of their performance.
Kana groans inwardly. Right. Her group. Everyone calls it that because she’s the de facto leader, thanks to that ridiculous game she won. Adashino and Ruby have their own teams too, leading their own groups.
Still it's a lot of pressure considering the fact people are now expecting their group to be amazing especially what Kana brings on the table during Team 25’s performance.
She can already predict the future, people will get disappointed.
Fortunately for her, disappointment is part of her life.
“Kana?”
A timid voice snaps Kana out of her thoughts.
She turns toward the door, and freezes. Sarina stands there, clutching the wall, tears streaming down her face.
“Wha—” Kana rushes to her, arms flailing slightly, unsure of what to do or how to comfort someone. “Umm…” Her panicked eyes darted toward Memcho, who’s already a step behind her.
“What happened?” Memcho asks gently, rubbing Sarina’s back.
Kana’s heart twists. Sarina, who always wears a blank, unreadable expression like armor, who seemed unshakable is crying. But then, Kana remembers Sarina’s trembling hands when she first introduced herself weeks ago.
Something had always been fragile beneath that silence.
Sarina sniffs, her voice barely a whisper. “Lara keeps saying mean things to me.”
Oh that bitch—!
Kana’s muscles tense, ready to storm out and give Lara a piece of her mind, but Sarina and Memcho instantly grab each of her arms.
“We shouldn’t be so hasty!” Memcho says quickly.
“You might get in trouble, Kana,” Sarina adds softly.
Kana clenches her jaw. They’re right, unfortunately. Confronting Lara would only cause more problems and not just for her, but for Sarina too. Sure, they could report it to the staff, but the staff must already know. They’re everywhere.
Just as she’s thinking that, she spots the cameraman in the doorway. Her eyes nearly narrow at him, but she holds back.
If she lashes out now, the show might twist it however they want.
They’re filming a crying sixteen-year-old and doing nothing about it. All for the drama. Kana shouldn’t be surprised. But still
It infuriates her.
Memcho gives Kana a look, glancing briefly at Sarina before locking eyes again. A silent message: She needs you right now.
Kana exhales. The best move is to stay quiet and take care of Sarina—for now. She hates it.
She gently takes Sarina’s hands and leads her to where she and Memcho had been sitting earlier. Memcho follows closely, eyes flicking to Sarina with concern.
Once seated, Kana wipes Sarina’s cheeks. “You know, crying’s kind of my thing, so don’t steal it.”
Sarina lets out a small laugh. “I can’t help it.” Her smile fades. “How do I stop it?”
Kana’s expression softens. “Whenever I can’t stop crying, I just think… ‘what if I suddenly went bald?’ And that image sticks so hard I forget why I was crying in the first place—”
Memcho and Sarina both choke on laughter, and Kana frowns.
“Oi! Think about your bald self, not mine!”
That only makes them laugh harder. Kana rolls her eyes, but secretly, she’s relieved. Sarina’s tears have stopped.
Once things settle down, Memcho hands Sarina a water bottle. “I had an extra, so you can have this.”
“Thank you,” Sarina says, voice soft but grateful.
***
“Hmm… what should I pick?” Ruby murmurs, eyes flicking between the curry and the tonkatsu.
She stands alone in the cafeteria. Lunch ended hours ago, but her group just decided to take a break. Now that her stomach’s growling, the need to eat is finally catching up to her.
Both dishes are simple, but something about them makes her feel nostalgic. Mama used to make curry all the time, and Aqua always insisted on cooking tonkatsu.
After Mama died, Aqua barely cooked anymore.
“Are you hungry too, Ruby?”
She looks up to see Minami Kotobuki approaching with a warm smile. Minami’s ranked in the top ten, backed by a powerful agency, and surprisingly down to earth. They hit it off right after meeting, back when the teams were first formed.
Ruby’s glad she picked Minami to be her teammate.
“Kinda hungry,” she admits with a grin. “But I can’t decide what to get. Wanna choose for me? Tonkatsu or curry?”
Minami eyes both dishes for a second, then points at the curry. “Let’s go with that. I’m getting curry too.”
“Alright!”
After picking up their food, they sit together, chatting between bites. Ruby feels lucky to have Minami by her side. She hadn’t expected her to be this approachable, especially compared to… certain other contestants.
Then, she spots Adashino entering the cafeteria. Ruby immediately raises her hand, waving. Adashino catches sight of her and smiles.
“Hi, Minami,” Adashino says as she approaches, flashing a friendly smile at the pink-haired girl.
Naturally, once Ruby and Minami grew close, Ruby introduced her to the rest of her circle. It didn’t take long before Minami fit right in.
“Were you hungry too?” Ruby asks as Adashino sits down beside them.
“Nope,” Adashino replies, shaking her head. “I was looking for Sarina, but I can’t find her.”
Ruby should stop flinching whenever someone is mentioning her old name.
“Hm? Why?”
“She’s been down lately…” Adashino sighs. “I’ve been waiting for the right time to check in on her, but well…”
“Umm!” Minami blurts, making both Ruby and Adashino glance her way. “If you're looking for her, I just saw her run down the other corridor—towards Arima’s area, I think.”
“Oh.” Adashino nods slowly. “Well, maybe I’ll talk to her later. If she’s with Kana, she might be okay.”
“...She was crying,” Minami adds quietly.
What?
“What?” Ruby echoes, blinking at her.
Adashino’s eyes go cold, her expression unreadable but only for a second. She quickly composes herself. Still, Ruby and Minami have already seen the change.
Minami gulps down her water, voice low. “Sarina was crying. I don’t know what happened, but… I overheard some of the other contestants. They said Sarina’s being bullied. By her groupmate.”
Ruby’s heart drops. “Lara…”
It makes sense. After Ruby and Adashino, the contestant ranked fourth had picked Lara and Sarina for her team. A complete disaster waiting to happen.
“I see…” Adashino murmurs.
Ruby casts a nervous glance her way. Adashino rests her elbow on the table, chin in her hand. There's something dark in her eyes now. It's sharp and calculating. Ruby nearly shivers.
She knows they can’t do much. Not in this setting. Not when they’re all under constant surveillance. This idol competition is brutal, and Ruby wouldn’t be surprised if the producers were already milking Sarina’s breakdown for drama.
Still, seeing Adashino look like she’s planning something is both terrifying and oddly comforting. Ruby wouldn’t blame her for wanting to do something to Lara. If someone hurt the people she cared about, Ruby might do the same.
She might not be Sarina’s biggest fan but no one deserves to be treated like this. Especially not someone so innocent.
Beside her, Minami quietly nibbles at her curry, brows knit together in worry.
***
The end of the week arrives, and every group from the Finding Idol program is set to perform. Miyako is finally free.
She could go.
She could finally watch her daughter perform on stage.
But—
“Please don't!” Ruby had pleaded with a sheepish tone. “I want to see your reaction when I perform on stage!”
“Then that would take a week,” Miyako had replied. “I'm pretty sure this week’s episode is going to end up as a cliffhanger, while saving your performance next week.”
“Yep! So that’s why I want to see your reaction!”
And that was that. Miyako respected Ruby’s decision.
Now, she sits alone in her living room, the television casting flickers as she watches Finding Idol. The show plays a segment where Ruby chooses her group—Miyako’s gaze is warm and focused, her lips tugged in the beginnings of a smile—when her phone suddenly rings.
Still watching the screen, she reaches for the phone on the coffee table and presses it to her ear.
“Ichigo Miyako speaking,” she says.
“Mom?”
Miyako blinks, gaze drifting from the screen. “Aqua?”
“Are you busy?”
“No,” she answers, her voice softening as a smile breaks through. “Actually, I’m free. I’m currently watching the show where your sister is in.”
“I see.” There's a pause on the line. Too quiet. Miyako’s smile fades.
“Did something happen?” she asks, already calculating if she’ll need to fly back to America.
“No, I’m fine!” Aqua says quickly, a little too urgently. “It’s just… it’s been months, Mom.”
Ah.
Three months. That’s how long it’s been since Ruby stopped speaking to him. It saddens Miyako, but she understands. Ruby has every right to draw boundaries after what Aqua did.
Still, she knows this silence is weighing heavily on her son. Agitation clings to his voice, tangled with longing. Aqua and Ruby have been close since they were babies—inseparable. For them to go this long without speaking…
“I’m worried,” he murmurs.
Miyako’s expression softens. “You know Ruby. You just need to give her time. She loves you too much to stay distant forever.”
“I know,” Aqua says gently. “But I miss my sister…”
They’ve always been each other’s biggest fans. Even when Ai died, they stayed side by side, clinging to each other like lifelines.
But trust is delicate—and once broken, even love needs space to heal.
Miyako often wonders what Ai would think if she could see them now.
“Aqua—” she starts, but another voice cuts in from the phone.
“Hey, Aqua! Your scene’s about to start!”
“Right. Right,” Aqua mutters. “I should get going—”
“Wait,” Miyako interjects, “Taishi is with you, right?”
“Uh, yes…?”
“Can I speak to him for a moment?”
“Sure.”
There’s a bit of shuffling on the other end. Aqua says something to Taishi, and a few muffled replies follow. Then it goes quiet—presumably, Aqua returns to filming.
“Hey, Miyako?” Taishi Gotanda’s voice comes through the line, calm and familiar.
Miyako exhales, relief softening her shoulders. “How’s Aqua doing?”
“His acting is as impeccable as ever, but…” Taishi sighs. “I can tell he’s still worried about Ruby.”
Honestly, Taishi is a gift.
Nearly two years ago, he’d flown to America to film a scene. Ruby and Aqua had been thrilled to see him again and when Taishi chose to stay, it had been a blessing. Miyako can handle being a single mother, but the logistics aren’t always easy: one child navigating the brutal world of Hollywood, the other juggling school and idol training from Miyako. She’d needed someone else in Aqua’s corner. Someone who understood.
Now, she and Taishi practically co-parent. And thank God for that.
They talk for a while longer, catching up on Aqua’s wellbeing, Ruby’s progress, and the rift between the twins. Miyako admits she’s tempted to fly back to America, but Taishi gently reminds her: Ruby needs her here, too.
Eventually, they say their goodbyes and end the call.
Miyako leans back into the couch with a quiet sigh. The light from the television pulls her back into the show, into the world where Ruby is still shining and fighting.
Adashino is being interviewed on screen, and asked if her group is doing well. She responds with bright enthusiasm, saying yes and that she’s glad to be teamed up with Suzushiro.
“I’m worried about my other friend, though…” Adashino adds, letting out a small sigh. “Specifically, Sarina. After the groups were formed, she’s been feeling a little down.”
The show cuts to a scene of Adashino hugging a sad-looking Sarina, then another where she gently asks what’s wrong. Sarina just smiles and says everything’s okay.
Adashino exhales. “I even went to ask Lara but—”
A transition plays. Now it’s the cafeteria. Kana and Adashino are walking, mid-conversation, when Luna accidentally bumps into Lara, sending her drink flying onto Luna’s blouse.
Luna panics, apologizing profusely. Adashino rushes in to help, trying to de-escalate the situation. There’s a tense pause before Lara’s face twists into fury and suddenly, she jumps at Adashino.
Miyako blinks from her place on the couch, stunned at the drama unfolding on screen.
“I don’t know why, but Lara suddenly attacked me…” Adashino narrates, her voice layered over the footage.
The program jumps to another clip. This time, it’s the practice room. Four girls are shown panting after a dance rehearsal.
“That’s creepy. Stop that!”
It’s Lara’s voice, sharp and dismissive. The girl she’s snapping at—Sarina, Miyako realizes—is visibly shaken. Sarina fidgets, eyes downcast.
“I’m not doing anything wrong…”
“Your blank expression is freaky as hell,” Lara scoffs. “I don’t know why you’re even here. It’s like you’re not taking this seriously.”
“I am taking this seriously,” Sarina mutters. “My face just isn’t as bright off-stage… but I’m doing my best.”
“Really? That's your definition of doing your best?”
Another girl steps between them, her expression stern, protective. Off to the side, another contestant watches nervously.
“That’s enough,” the girl between them says firmly. “Apologize, Lara.”
“Why would I apologize when she’s clearly not pulling her weight?”
Sarina flinches at the words. The girl in front of Lara narrows her eyes.
Then Lara tilts her head, her tone turning condescending. “Someone told me your mom forced you into this? That you didn’t even want to be an idol? Aww, poor baby. But it’s quite funny because you only got here because of mommy’s money, and yet—”
“Enough!”
But it’s too late, Sarina bolts from the room, tears streaking down her face as she runs down the hall. The camera follows her until she collapses into Kana’s arms, sobbing.
Miyako winces. Shit. This program is really ramping up the drama. She shifts on the couch and leans forward, eyes still glued to the television. She prays Ruby stays out of this kind of mess.
“What do I think about Lara?” Kana says calmly in an interview. “She’s going too far. Sarina’s innocent in all this, but Lara’s taking out her jealousy on her.”
Another transition plays—a reverse-style flashback. Footage from a previous episode shows Team 25, Ruby’s old group, discussing who should sing the bridge of their performance. Lara’s voice cuts in, demanding the part for herself. The editing makes her look particularly selfish, casting her as the villain.
Then comes a montage of contestants being asked about Lara. Their answers vary, but the sentiment is the same: Lara’s behavior is being noticed.
Whether Lara deserves it or not, Miyako knows how vicious the internet can be. The backlash is inevitable, especially since viewers are already rallying behind Sarina.
Eventually, the show moves on, letting the tension ease for now. Miyako exhales deeply, rubbing her arm. The worst part? This is just an idol competition.
A moment later, the ranking results are revealed. Miyako makes sure to vote for Ruby—of course she did. Like hell she’d miss the chance to support her daughter.
The reactions are all caught on camera. Lara looks smug. Kana is visibly shocked. Ruby beams with joy.
Miyako smiles. She’s so proud.
- Hoshino Ruby
- Memcho
- Adashino Mei
- Tendouji Sarina
- Arima Kana
- Suzushiro Mana
- Luna
- Mitsuki Nase
- Yoshizumi Mimi
- Mirai Kuroyama
Lara might be smug right now, but her whole demeanor is going to change soon because of the new episode. After all, the internet is already dragging her name through the mud now as of now, convinced she doesn’t deserve the spot after everything aired.
Still, from Miyako’s perspective—a grown woman, a mother—her heart aches a little. Yes, Lara is acting like a brat, but she’s also just a teenager. A kid who still doesn’t understand how the world works.
She only hopes Ruby won’t get caught in the storm.
***
Finding the Start [Episode 4] Discussion
Ai_Fan
So there's a snake around the program
↟ 3k ↡ 💬 Reply
Awua_Tan
The lion, the witch and the audacity of that bitch.
↟ 4.1k ↡ 💬 Reply
Just_a_mob
Poor Sarina.
It's so stupid Lara keeps taunting Sarina never wanting to become an idol. There's a reason she's there, and even if her mother forced her into this, Sarina is trying her best but that wasn't enough for Lara??? What the hell.
↟ 2.8k ↡ 💬 Reply
Leo_Lion
I mean… Lara has a point. Sarina shouldn't be there if she's not taking this seriously.
↟ 585 ↡ 💬 Reply
Just_a_mob
Did you even read my comment? I said EVEN IF her mother wanted Sarina to become an idol, Sarina is still trying her best.
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
Choir from the chair
I'm glad Memcho's group is doing fine. No drama whatsoever
↟ 1.1k ↡ 💬 Reply
M4_Husbando
Am I the only one who noticed but there's a weird cut in Kana's group. It feels like the producer is hiding something especially when Kana's group content are too short.
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
Shit for braind
Keep it up, Adashino! I'm rooting for you.
Lara is a bitch though. I'm glad twitter is doing something about it too.
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
Hoshinos_Stan
You know it's really bad if we're thanking twitter for something.
↟ 981 ↡ 💬 Reply
Reborn and rejoin
You're messed up for wanting to drag down a teenager.
↟ 724 ↡ 💬 Reply
Shit for braind
Eh. She's 18, she can handle it.
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
Crapping the shit
When I'm a narcissist but Lara is my competitor
↟ 997 ↡ 💬 Reply
Ari_fan
Better luck next time, mate.
↟ 776 ↡ 💬 Reply
TStar Hoshi
Fuuuuuuck Another cliffhanger
↟ 801 ↡ 💬 Reply
Noboy_Nobody876
THIS is not happening. I was rooting for Lara. I even voted for her! Fuck that bitch honestly
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
SasukeSimp
Time to not vote her next time LOL
↟ 760 ↡ 💬 Reply
***
geekgeek
@gamerGaME
#FindingStar #TendoujiSarina #Lara #FuckYouLara
Fuck you Lara. Just fuck yourself
78 replies 1k retweets 17.8k hearts
^
AiStan
@Ai_Imafan
I feel so betrayed right now.
6 replies 543 retweets 9k hearts
Synonym of antonym
@SiAn
I'm not even going to complain if Sarina snapped and pulled that bitch’s hair down
#FuckYouLara
17 replies 109 retweets 7k hearts
Justin Jacob
@fuckyourlife
When you hate someone for no reason
and now has a reason to hate the person #FuckYouLara
1 replies 7 retweets 2.8k hearts
Maker
@AmateurFriend
I'm satisfied with the vote results but I'm not satisfied that bitch is still in the program
3 replies 200 retweets 1k hearts
***
Fan of Ruby
@OfficialRubyHoshino
#Hoshino Ruby #Finding Star
i'm just happy Ruby is still in number 1 spot
899 replies 2k retweets 22k hearts
Buff
@gymanstic
#FindingStar
Sarina, baby, if you're reading this, you do not deserve what Lara said to you.
33 replies 1k retweets 12k hearts
HeartPatrol
@IdolA-ri
Kana is on the top 5. Deserved !!!
53 replies 330 retweets 8k hearts
Troubadour
@Ai_num1fan
can we cleanse the earth? starting with Lara
407 replies 999 retweets 8k hearts
Love_Life
@LovingTheLife
hey, Lara. kill yourself, babe<333 #FindingStar
9 replies 306 retweets 5k hearts
Lazy the crazy
@Diona
die Lara
29 replies 20 retweets 899 hearts
Selena Peze
@SelPez
i can’t believe i already voted and then found out who the real bitch was. they seriously cut the only contestants showing real personality. what a joke. #FindingStar
190 replies 8k retweets 15k hearts
Notes:
I have a question for the readers
Look, I love Saitou but the fact he abandoned his family and left the business to his wife was so shitty of him (both in canon and in this fanfic). I have abandonment issues from my parents so maybe my feelings are too subjective, but I really want Miyako to move on. This woman deserves better, and her two kids know it too. And then, I realize that Gotanda is also co-parenting at this point, he's also single. And I was like??? Should I do the math??? or not??? I know many of you people know ship Saitou and Miyako, but damn it Miyako really deserves better. If I am going to do the MiyakoxGotanda ship though, it will be slow. Anyway, I just want to see all of your opinions about it.
I hope readers are not annoyed whenever I use Kana's POV, but I really want for this fanfic to have the same feeling as the canon Oshi no ko. Because let's face it, even if you are hater or lover of Kana, she's more of deuteragonist than even Ruby sometimes in the manga/anime. The fact she's not involved with the revenge and gods plot, and yet has the aura of an MC despite how Aka keeps treating her, is already amazing enough. So yeah, Kana would be more like a deuteragonist in this fanfic (same goes for queen Akane obviously) while the twins are the protagonists. Same in canon but there are some... actions that will make Kana involved with the revenge and gods plot.
Chapter 28: Book 2: Self doubt
Summary:
Ruby remembers watching that old Team 25 clip last week. Curled up in bed with her phone pressed close to her face, the screen lighting her features. Kana had been magnetic. Her voice clear, eyes fierce, that presence undeniable. She looked like she could hold the whole crowd in the palm of her hand.
But just now… on that stage…
It felt like Kana was holding herself back.
Notes:
Hello! About the Miyako x Taishi ship, I decided that I'll let them interact with some small moments here and there (which would be inevitable given how they co-parent Aqua and Ruby) and see if it would work. If I see some potential romance, I'll do it. But if I'm satisfied with their friendship, I'll write their relationship as platonic.
Enjoy the chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The day before the performance, Kana sits at the far end of the cafeteria, her tray untouched as she absentmindedly watches Lara from across the room. Specifically, the way Lara keeps shooting daggers at Adashino, who’s blissfully unaware or didn't seem to mind someone, is practically glaring holes at the back of her head.
Kana blinks, then glances at Adashino sitting beside her. “Okay, seriously. What the hell did you do?”
“Yeah… What did you do? Lara almost forgot I existed with how she keeps ranting about you.” Sarina, seated across from them, eyes curious.
Adashino beams, clearly unbothered. “You really wanna know?”
The glint on Adashino's side is kinda scary. They are really fortunate that Adashino became a friend instead of a foe.
Then, she remembers Lara attacked Adashino the other day. Actually, it also happened in this very cafeteria. Whatever happened there, it seems like Adashino provoked Lara.
Kana immediately holds up her hands in surrender. “Actually—on second thought, nope. I’d rather talk about the performances tomorrow.”
Sarina sighs and slumps forward. “Ugh, don’t remind me. I don’t even have confidence in my own group.”
Both Kana and Adashino wince. They know exactly why. The tension between Sarina and Lara hasn’t gone unnoticed.
“Honestly? Same.” Kana runs a hand through her hair.
Sarina’s eyes widened. “Wait, you don’t?”
Even Adashino looks surprised.
Kana shrugs, her voice low. “It’s not the group, okay? I mean—come on. I got members who originally ranked in the Top 10 when the program started. They’ll be fine.” She pauses, gaze drifting. “It’s just… me.”
Adashino raises an eyebrow. “What about you?”
“I’m going to get overshadowed, especially by Yoshizumi,” Kana says simply. “Like, no question. That kid knows how to handle the crowd. She walks in and the whole room turns.”
Adashino frowns. “Kana, you’re talented too.”
Kana lets out a dry laugh. “If you’re talking about Team 25’s performance, don’t. I got lucky. I sang the bridge and somehow everyone latched onto that like I’m amazing. It’s just a ripple effect—one person screams online, and the rest follow.”
Sarina tilts her head. “Still. That video went viral. People loved your voice.”
“Please lower your expectations. Seriously. There’s no real talent there.” Kana groans, practically sinking into her chair.
That video gives her shivers. Not only because Kana in that video is different, but also because it's the reason for her rising popularity during the poll.
So many people voted for her but they will realise their mistake for doing so.
Speaking of that voting situation, Kana is glad none of the members in her group and her friend's own group got someone who didn't make it during that voting. Seeing other groups who got decreased by one or two makes Kana wince.
And that voting poll… Kana already got what she wanted from this program. She got her own exposure and average popularity.
… So maybe it's time to quietly disappear in the background and get out of this building permanently.
Adashino and Sarina exchange a quiet look, but Kana pretends not to notice.
Trying to shift the topic, Kana turns to Sarina. “So… is Lara still giving you a hard time?”
Surprisingly, Sarina shakes her head. “Not really. As I said, she keeps ranting about Adashino but she’s been quiet all day.”
“Really?” Kana raises a brow.
Adashino, meanwhile, flashes a smug little smile.
Kana eyes her suspiciously. “I’m not even going to ask.”
Her friend just keeps smiling.
***
Tomorrow comes, and the performance is about to start. Kana hated the fact they are the first group who's going to perform just because Kana won that stupid tennis ball game.
Stupid producers…
She also curses her luck for good measures.
The four of them are currently wearing the standard japan idol’s outfit, it's colorful but cute to the eyes. It's not like they have something to change for the Light cover song.
Everyone is prepared. Not just her team but also the staff.
“Guys!” Memcho suddenly exclaims to them, “Just enjoy the performance!”
Nase smiles a little and Kana nods.
On the other hand, Yoshizumi scoffs. “We can't have fun here, we're performing to stay in this program.”
Well, there goes the mood.
Kana refrained from rolling her eyes while Nase didn't refrain herself, Nase even made her face look genuinely annoyed at Yoshizumi. Memcho didn't wither a little, she's more amused to Yoshizumi for some reason.
Clearing her throat, Kana speaks, “What Memcho is trying to say, let's do our best.”
Memcho beams. Nase nods. Yoshizumi waves her off.
Kana can't believe this is happening just minutes away from the performance. If she ever for some reason got debut, she's definitely not going to be the leader.
As if debuting is ever going to happen to her. She scoffs at the idea.
Once the staff told them that they should head to the stage, the four of them went to their respective positions.
The moment the music starts, the stage feels like it shifts.
A slow, humming synth glides in like a whisper—solemn, almost sacred—and Kana feels the cool air against her skin as the lights dim into a soft twilight hue.
Unlike when Kana was in Team 25, her team right now doesn’t have a theme. Just a similar cover of the original song, but they did try to squeeze the song for four people to make it work.
Both Nase and Memcho created the choreography. Kana is quite confident of what the two did, she just hopes their overall performance will be enough for the viewers.
She steps forward with the others, her heart steady but oddly quiet. She’s done this before. The team she was in won previously so there’s nothing to be nervous about. And yet… something feels off.
Kana tries not to shy away from the audience.
Light, shine upon me
Light, who never let me go
Next by your side
Memcho’s voice floats first. She twirls gently into the first verse, arms wide, blonde ponytail spinning with her. Her smile isn’t big, but heartfelt. As she sings, she brushes her fingertips along the air like reaching for something just out of frame.
Kana mirrors her move, a half-second delayed, not out of mistake but instinct. Let Memcho breathe. Let her warmth take the front, and Kana is going to support her.
I will be the darkness to not overshadow the light
My light, guardian angel
Oh light, never change
Nase’s line comes next. Controlled. Poised. Her voice is clear, deep, and deliberate. Nase slides in, stepping forward with precision, her moves sharp yet fluid. Her black hair fans out as she pivots smoothly into a turn, one arm drawing across her chest as she sings in her low, elegant tone.
Then.
Then comes Yoshizumi.
Why are you so bright?
It always blind me
Sometimes it hurt
But sometimes it healed
It’s not just her voice. It’s how she sings it. Low, effortless, rich with a maturity that doesn’t belong to someone her age. The note climbs just a little.
Her vocals are the popular standard of Japan. Cute and higher pitch.
Light, shine upon me
Light, who never let me go
A sharp stomp. A precise twist of her leg. Her long limbs slice the air like the edge of a blade as she moves into center. The way she sings it makes the line ache. Her head is tilted slightly, long dark hair cascading behind her back like a cloak. The audience doesn’t just hear her, they watch her, eyes pulled like a tide.
Kana’s chest tightens.
It was supposed to be her verse but during rehearsal, they decided to give this verse to Yoshizumi, because it feels like Yoshizumi’s voice owns this part.
Kana tells herself it’s fine—that she’ll catch up in the chorus—but a strange sensation pools in her stomach. She feels like she’s watching someone else take her spotlight… and she can’t tell if it stings or if she’s impressed.
Because truth be told, Yoshizumi looks like she was born to be on that stage.
Next by your side
I will be the darkness to not overshadow the light
The chorus hits. All of them harmonize. Kana follows the steps, her movements smooth, perfected but distant.
Kana and Memcho then step forward together, spinning into a heart formation, arms reaching to the center. Nase circles around them, swift and low, while Yoshizumi rises from her knees and lifts her hand high, catching the note.
They all sing together now but the eyes still drift toward Yoshizumi.
Maybe it’s because every time Yoshizumi sings, her voice cuts through the air like a bell. Powerful. And when she moves? Every flick of her wrist feels intentional, every gaze almost theatrical. Like she's not a kid. Like she’s someone who’s lived a dozen lifetimes already.
Memcho then adds softness again, dancing just behind them, her energy light but grounded. She brings warmth to the group which is a perfect balance for this song. Kana knows people love her for her aura, Kana knows that. They’d smile when she smiles.
Light, please shine upon us
Did you let us go?
Yoshizumi takes this line again. Kana watches her sing it with her hand outstretched, like she's chasing something she’ll never reach. The lights behind her bloom brighter, like even the stage knows she’s the centerpiece.
Kana sings her part next, but something about her voice wavers.
She’s not nervous. Definitely not. But it’s like something inside her is pulling the reins. Keeping her from stepping forward, from matching Yoshizumi’s fire.
And maybe it's a good outcome.
After all, Kana never wanted to outshine someone again, just for the people to blame her.
Feeling numb in her own body, she doesn’t realize she’s doing it. Kana just knows she feels… muted. Like her body knows something she hasn’t admitted yet.
It should be me
Even then, you overshine
My light, my salvation
You’re not special, so please don’t change
The final line falls from all their voices, a delicate plea. Silence falls over the stage as the lights dim again.
Applause comes a second later, but it doesn’t feel loud in Kana’s ears.
Kana stands there, catching her breath. Her heart was pounding. She doesn’t feel defeated. No—but she does feel... something.
Something that sounds like awe.
And somewhere deeper—she doesn’t want to say it—but it feels like envy, too.
Maybe being an idol is not for her after all.
Still, for someone who already got used to disappointing herself… At that moment for Kana, it's the first time in years she's disappointed with her own performance.
***
Ruby frowns before she even realizes she’s doing it.
Her arms are crossed, legs tucked under the chair in the waiting lounge, eyes still fixed on the darkened screen that just finished playing Team Kana’s performance.
Kana…
Ruby isn’t disappointed. Her heart just feels… off. A little heavy. A little twisted in a way she can’t explain.
Because Kana’s performance was supposed to be good. Amazing even.
So who the hell did Ruby watch on the screen? It's certainly not the Kana she had from Team 25.
Ruby remembers watching that old Team 25 clip last week. Curled up in bed with her phone pressed close to her face, the screen lighting her features. Kana had been magnetic. Her voice clear, eyes fierce, that presence undeniable. She looked like she could hold the whole crowd in the palm of her hand.
But just now… on that stage…
It felt like Kana was holding herself back.
Ruby taps her index finger into her own arm. It's not judgment. She knows exactly what that feels like, to have so much in you and still hesitate. Still shrinking.
Before her thoughts spiral further, the backstage curtain shifts. The team walks in.
Ruby straightens immediately.
Memcho is beaming, cheeks flushed, bouncing on her heels as she enters. Nase trails just behind her, composed as ever, already pulling her jacket over her shoulders. Yoshizumi walks ahead of them as her posture straight, her chin lifted slightly with an air of confidence.
Ruby doesn’t waste a second. She approaches.
“You guys were amazing,” she says, honestly. She means it.
Memcho lights up even more. “Ruby! Thank you! That means a lot coming from you!”
Nase glances over, nods once, then disappears without a word. Yoshizumi offers a glance which is unreadable and follows the girl, her tall frame moving with practiced ease. Ruby watches her go. Yoshizumi’s charisma is something, it's a mysterious thing that someone can’t help but look at. Charisma like that shouldn’t be so effortless. Then again, there’s her mama.
She turns back just as Memcho is already halfway out the door, probably chasing the others.
And that’s when Ruby sees her.
Kana.
Half-shadowed behind the curtain, behind the glow of everyone else. She’s already placed a jacket on herself. There’s no expression on her face, it's not proud and not upset either. Just that usual unreadable calm when she's thinking in her own head .
“What?” Kana asks. Not cold. Just flat.
Ruby blinks. “Nothing,” she says quickly.
Kana blinks before putting her hands on her hips. “I know you don't need it but good luck.”
Despite herself, Ruby beams. “Thanks.”
The host suddenly announced the next team who are about to perform, making their attention turn to the screen
It seems Adashino’s team is stepping onto the stage now.
Ruby forces herself to focus.
Out of the corner of her eyes, Kana sat next to her. And Memcho too, returning with a quiet cheer and a bag of gummies in hand.
Staring at Adashino’s team, Ruby knows she has to prepare for herself and for her team. Especially when Ruby's team is next.
So Ruby tries not to think about Kana's earlier performance.
She'll just revisit it in the future.
***
Sarina watches as Adashino and her team leave the stage.
It's a good performance, Sarina thought with a small smile.
Himura starts monologuing about each of the two first performers, and Sarina happily tunes her out.
Frowning at the wall next to her, it only reminded me of Kana's performance from earlier.
The short period of time Sarina knew Kana, she already guessed Kana doesn't have any self confidence. There's a barely disguised insecurity laying around whenever Kana talks about her own performances.
Now Sarina can see why people think Kana lost her touch as a genius actor. When really, that never happened.
Murmurs pass between girls suddenly, Sarina's eyes slide to them in confusion before following their line of sight. Ah, Ruby's performance is already starting.
Ruby Hoshino appears at center stage, adorned in a flowing white yukata patterned with pale blue cranes. Her hair’s done up in a soft bun, a kanzashi pin glinting like a star. The other girls—Minami Kotobuki, Luna, and another girl that Sarina does not recognize—stand in a diamond formation behind her, their outfits echoing the same aesthetic. The lighting is soft but divine, like the gentle radiance of dawn over a shrine.
Then the koto begins with gentle, reverent plucks echoing like distant wind chimes. It’s a familiar melody, but rearranged once a peppy pop song, now transformed into something haunting and sacred.
Sarina blinks, brows lifting. From someone who has been with Ruby as a team together…. She knows Ruby arranged this. Still, it stun Sarina how talented she is when it comes to arrangements of a song.
The music flows, each note like a prayer. The lyrics begin, both Ruby and Luna start singing.
O goddess of the unseen skies
Guide us where the moonlight lies
Through petals fall and shadows bend
Let grace descend, let grace descend...
Ruby's voice isn’t strong but it doesn’t need to be. Her presence fills the stage. Her eyes are sharp, intense, even as her movements are fluid and deliberate, arms stretching wide like the wings of a crane in flight. Every motion is poetry.
Minami twirls forward, her sleeves fluttering like falling blossoms. Luna steps in next, her hands pressed in prayer before offering them outward, eyes lowered as if before a divine presence. The choreography weaves traditional movements with modern flourishes, a fusion that feels almost ritualistic.
The other contestants watching can’t look away. Even the usual chatter dies down.
Someone whispers, “Wow.”
Sarina doesn’t know who, it could’ve been her.
She’s mesmerized—No, everyone is.
The second verse begins with the other girl and Kotobuki combining.
I offer flame, I offer rain
In quiet joy and silent pain
If you shall speak, then I shall hear
My goddess, come and draw me near...
Ruby moves like she’s possessed by something ancient. Her eyes glassy with emotion she never shows offstage, it's not exactly flashy but there’s power in restraint, and Ruby embodies that.
Sarina may be outwardly calm, but inwardly, she’s freaking out. Her jaw might as well be hanging open but she refrains herself.
She's really amazing, isn't she?
"Ruby's not even that great a singer," Suzushiro is the one who mutters this time. It’s not said cruelly, just surprised.
Now that Sarina thinks about it, this kind of arrangement is perfectly suited for Ruby’s vocals. It's not a pop song that can make an artist need a distinct voice, it's slow and relies more on harmonies.
Nevermind the fact this song is originally on a synth pop side with elements of disco-pop. It’s amazing how Ruby can arrange this song.
Sarina exhales, a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Four of them bows their head at the final note, as the stage darkens to a single spotlight:
My goddess, stay.
Don’t fade away.
I'll serve you forevermore.
The last pluck of the koto fades into silence. Then applause, so thunderous and genuine, echoing even through the thin walls of the holding room.
Sarina glances around and sees the other girls stunned just as she is.
She presses her lips together.
Yes, she knows how talented Ruby is. From Ruby's first audition to her performance in team 25… Sarina is almost a fan.
Standing next to her on stage and watching team 25’s performance on YouTube, she's well aware of the presence Ruby holds.
If Sarina can, she wants to ask more pointers from Ruby. Especially when Ruby is known to be the adopted sister of the legendary idol Ai.
As if that can happen though…
Looking away from the screen, Sarina is not blind.
Ruby doesn’t like her. Sarina knows that. But Ruby never said anything cruel to her. And that's enough for her.
She knows how someone can be when they are just tolerating Sarina’s presence.
All she can think is…That was so beautiful.
And she’s grateful she got to witness it.
Maybe Ruby's attitude to her might be a low bar to anyone, but for someone who has suffered being in the same group with someone who hates Sarina because of jealousy…
She prefers Ruby's attitude over Lara everyday.
***
Finding the Start [Episode 5] Discussion
popfairyluver
Ruby is so good at arranging??? I shouldn’t be surprised but still I didn’t expect her to be this involved behind the scenes but the way she transformed that pop song into something haunting and elegant? With koto and everything? STAGE PRESENCE. DANCE. GIVE HER FLOWERS.
↟ 7k ↡ 💬 Reply
^
Coffine ⚰️
This girl doesn’t play. Producer, performer, priestess—what CAN’T she do???
↟ 5.1k ↡ 💬 Reply
saltysugargrapejuice
We need to talk about how Yoshizumi ATE. That girl is twelve??? She has this mysterious stage aura that makes her look so much older than she is. Where was this during the first performance???
↟ 5.1k ↡ 💬 Reply
^
Choir from the chair
Yoshizumi was probably unlucky with her team last time. But now that she's with Memcho? ICONIC. Their dynamics were so fun and balanced. Memcho brings the energy, Yoshizumi brings the mystique. I need more of them.
↟ 1.3 ↡ 💬 Reply
100yenqueen
Not enough people are talking about Adashino. Girl looked ethereal on that stage. Her team wasn’t the best but she made it WORK.
↟ 1.1k ↡ 💬 Reply
username2008:
I was honestly disappointed by Kana in this episode. She's not bad, but Yoshizumi totally stole the spotlight.
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
sarinahaterturnedfan
Real talk: Sarina would’ve done SO well if her team wasn’t a mess. She got so much potential, but it’s just Lara bringing her down. Hard.
↟ 1.9k ↡ 💬 Reply
bananakimchi
Yeah I’ve had enough of Lara. She’s just mean for no reason. She talks down to Sarina but Sarina’s always been soft-spoken and sweet. Justice for Sarina please.
↟ 2.1k ↡ 💬 Reply
natsupudding
Every episode I hate Lara more.
↟ 7.1k ↡ 💬 Reply
celadonforest
Sarina deserves a redemption arc. Put her with a good team and let her grow. She’s got something, I can feel it.
↟ 5.7k ↡ 💬 Reply
🌟 Shiiiine456
Man what happened to my girl Kana
↟ 977 ↡ 💬 Reply
***
Ari girly
@poplineszn
Ruby really arranged a pop song into a traditional shrine goddess tribute with koto and made it SLAY??? This girl doesn’t play. Producer, performer, priestess—what CAN’T she do??? #FindingStarEp5
322 replies 998 retweets 2.3k hearts
MezoDan
@idolwatcher0-2
Yoshizumi is TWELVE and just gave that dance charisma?? Girl looked like a final boss in the best way.
Also her and Memcho?? New fav duo.
#FindingStar
9 replies 108 retweets 1k hearts
Again and again
@ughitslaraagain
Lara being insufferable again this week? Color me shocked.
#FindingStarEp5
78 replies 398 retweets 1.1k hearts
Solar
@RedhairAccount
That viral bridge from Kana in Team 25 wasn’t a fluke. She’s talented. TRUST
#FindingStar #WeBelieveInKana
44 replies 53 retweets 787 hearts
|
Lazy the crazy
@Diona
Replying to @RedhairAccount
Seems fluke to me
20 replies 9 retweets 569 hearts
Hoshino Ruby123
@rubycore_jpn
[PHOTO]
It’s happening!! Fan project to support Ruby with a Shibuya billboard ad before the Finding Star finale. She arranged that stage and carried it with elegance. She deserves the spotlight.
#RubyToDebut #FindingStar
199 replies 2.2k retweets 9.9k hearts
StarRail
@star4ruby
We’re fundraising for a train station ad for Ruby!! She turned a pop song into a shrine performance and brought literal chills. Let’s show the world who deserves to debut
Donate here: [link]
#FindingStarEp5 #RubySupport
99 replies 999 retweets 7k hearts
HoshinoFanGirl
@theothertwin
Imagine stepping into the subway and seeing Ruby in full yukata glory. Yes. That’s the vision.
#FindingStar #RubyAdProject
80 replies 899 retweets 3k hearts
VOTE FOR ADASHINO
@osakanoruby
We already booked the Osaka Station screen for 3 days straight. Adashino fans don't play.
Catch our goddess in yukata next week.
#FindingStar #AdashinoTrainAd
100 replies 95 retweets 2.9k hearts
Lazy the crazy
@Diona
Replying to @RedhairAccount
Wait, why is Lara still there???
11 replies 19 retweets 65 hearts
|
Men 4life
@ChoFan
proly still has fans out there
9 replies 7 retweets 54 hearts
|
Lazy the crazy
@Diona
Replying to @ChoFan
Crazy
1 replies 10 retweets 45 hearts
***
Ruby sits cross-legged on the couch, a pillow clutched tightly in her arms as she watches the replay of her performance with Miyako. She waits in a bated breath as to Miyako's evaluation of her performance.
Throughout Ruby's performance, Miyako never strayed her eyes away from the screen.
Then, the performance ends and the program cuts to the next team, Miyako turns to her with a smile.
Ruby breath hitches. She tries to keep a smile on her face even if there’s a chance Miyako would evaluate her performance wrong.
She has enough practice to hide herself with a smile.
“You were amazing,” Miyako says, her voice warm and full of pride. “I’m really proud of you, Ruby.”
Mom complimented me…!
“Thank you, mom!” Ruby beams, her whole chest lighting up from the inside.
To get complimented not only from her mother but also the CEO of the Strawberry productions, is the greatest gift to have that Ruby will always treasure in her memories.
Reaching out of the happiness she feels at the moment, Ruby keeps smiling. Even if there's a painful reminder of absence in this household.
She tries not to think about the previous owner of the Strawberry productions and her other half who is currently out of the country.
Snapping out of her thoughts, Miyako picks up her phone and hands it over without a word.
“What?” Ruby blinks at the gesture, puzzled.
“Just look,” Miyako says softly.
She does. Her eyes widened instantly.
It’s a billboard. Her face. A whole billboard in the middle of Shibuya. And then another photo—her face again, printed on the side of a train. The posts keep going: fan accounts, cheering comments, hashtags trending with her name. Her fingers tremble slightly as she scrolls.
“They did that for you,” Miyako says, her voice gentle. “There are so many people supporting you. They’re using their own money, cheering you on with everything they have. You’re really loved, Ruby. And honestly, I think you’re going to win.”
Ruby’s shoulders begin to shake. Her vision blurs. For a second, Miyako looks alarmed.
“Did I say something wrong—?”
But then Ruby lets out a laugh shakily.
“No,” Ruby whispers, and then louder, “No, I’m just... happy. I’m so happy.”
Miyako's eyes soften as she brushes Ruby's blonde hair away from her eyes while the said blonde is sniffling.
Ruby then grins through the tears, eyes shining. “I’m one step closer to my dream.”
This is one of the first times Ruby’s smile becomes so wide. Although there's a remnant of sadness lurking in her heart, seeing the post from fans is like an antidote for her.
If only mama can see her right now.
Miyako doesn’t hesitate. She wraps her arms around Ruby and pulls her in, hugging her tightly. Ruby leans into it, crying quietly but from joy.
When they pull apart, Ruby wipes her face quickly and perks up. “Can we go see it? The billboard?”
“Right now?” Miyako tilts her head.
“I want to take a photo. Post it. Say thank you.” Her smile grows wistful. “It still doesn’t feel real that I have fans now.”
She also wants to go there because well… As Sarina, she used to be a fan. She knows what it feels like to support someone and hope they’ll notice you. Having been a fan in her past life, she knows how meaningful it is for an idol to wear fan-given gifts or visit places fans rented—places that became ad revenue dedicated to their support.
It also a lot of money, and Ruby wants to thank the fans who placed their bill just for her.
Miyako smiles back at her, not even surprised. “Then let’s go. I’ll drive.”
Ruby lights up again, throwing her arms around her. “You’re the best!”
Her mom laughs, ruffling her hair. “Of course I am.”
And just like that, Ruby’s already halfway to the door, humming a song of Challenger by B-Komachi. Because it felt like Ruby won at that moment.
***
Miyako parks the car near the station. The towering digital billboard looms overhead, so bright it might as well be a dream.
The two of them step out of the car. Ruby’s wide eyes, practically glowing with awe. While Miyako smiles fondly but also glowing with pride.
“That’s really me,” she whispers, a smile stretching across her face.
“Stand over there,” Miyako says, already pulling out her phone.
Ruby poses beneath the glowing image of herself in a yukata, the soft lighting from the ad casting a glow around her. Miyako takes the shot, then shows it to her.
“It’s perfect,” she says.
“I still can't believe this.” Ruby giggles.
Miyako snorts. “Better believe that now or else you might convince yourself you're hallucinating.”
“Ugh, mom.” Ruby pouts at her. “Now I'm thinking if I'm really hallucinating. Oh wait, you could just pinch me!”
“I will not—”
Just then, a familiar voice calls out from across the sidewalk. “Ruby?”
She turns and beams. “Memcho!”
Memcho jogs over, her eyes bright with excitement. “I thought that was you! You’re here to see your billboard, too?”
Ruby nods. “Yeah. Wait—if you’re here, that means you’ve got one too, right?”
“I do! It’s just two blocks down. Wanna see?” Memcho lights up.
But she's with her mom right now, and Ruby includes this moment as one of their bonding moments. Should she request her mom to come with them? But Ruby doesn't want Miyako to be out of place.
As if her mom can read Ruby's thoughts, Miyako gives her a small wave. “I’ll wait in the car. Call me if you need anything.”
Huh. Sometimes Ruby thinks Miyako has telepathic powers that can read minds.
“Got it!” Ruby waves back, then turns to Memcho. “Let’s go!”
As they walk, the two of them giggle like kids sneaking out at night. Memcho clutches her phone tightly. “Isn’t it kind of surreal? Like... fans actually spent money to put our faces on a billboard.”
“It really is,” Ruby agrees. “It makes me feel like... a real idol.”
“I never had this kind of experience during the previous idol show I was in…”
Ruby’s eyes soften. “People are now seeing how deserving you are to debut!”
Memcho ducks her head but Ruby can see the way she shyly smiles.
They stop at the corner, and there it is—Memcho’s billboard. Her image is from their last performance with radiant smiles in a glittering idol outfit.
She gasps. “Memcho, you look amazing!”
“Right? They chose such a good photo.” Memcho’s eyes shine with pride.
Just as Ruby can add more to the conversation, they suddenly hear footsteps—a few of them.
“Is that—wait! It’s Ruby and Memcho!”
The girls freeze for a split second. Then they turn around to find a small group of fans approaching, phones out, eyes wide with disbelief and joy.
Ruby’s heart skips. Fans. Real fans.
“Can we get a picture? Please?” one asks, and the others nod, echoing the request.
“Of course!” Ruby says before she can think.
They pose, take photos, sign small notebooks and scraps of paper. Ruby tries her best to smile for each one, to remember every name and thank every single person. She doesn’t want to let anyone down.
“I’ll definitely support the two of you until the end,” one girl says softly as Ruby hands back her signed photo.
Ruby blinks. Her chest tightens with something soft and warm.
“Thank you,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper but full of feeling. “That really means a lot.”
After that moment, most of them are satisfied as they said their goodbyes to Ruby and Memcho.
Memcho stands beside her, also beaming, and Ruby glances at her, then up at the billboards glowing above them both. This is it. The dream is starting to feel real.
As they walk back to where Miyako is, Ruby can't help but think about what the fan told them earlier.
Noticing Ruby's sudden silence, Memcho blinks at her. “What's wrong?”
“It's just—” She swallows as they keep walking. “What if something goes wrong and we don't make it to the end? I don't want to disappoint the fans who supported us. Hell, they already gave away so much money.”
Despite being ranked as number one, scandals and dramas can make Ruby fall down to the pitfalls.
And besides…
With Ruby's track record when it comes to winning these kinds of programs, she always loses.
Sometimes, Ruby wonders if that's because of her own lack of talent as an idol or it's because of Aqua.
Memcho wistfully smiles. “I'm also wondering the same thing.”
Ruby blinks. “Really?”
“Yeah. From the start of the show, some people are already hyping me. So I started thinking ‘what if I disappointed them?’ you know? Especially since this is my second try entering an idol show. Not to mention, I'm 21 years old now.”
“Memcho—” Ruby cuts herself off, not knowing what to say.
After all, Memcho gives her valid reasons to be concerned. As a daughter of one of the successful idol agencies, Ruby definitely knows this. There’s a possibility people would start to think ‘she’s too old for this’ and so on.
Memcho just gives her a wistful smile as their walk speeds up.
And Ruby can't have that.
So stepping in front of Memcho, determination settles on her mind.
Ruby's eyes glint, and Memcho's eyes widen.
“Let's promise each other then.” Ruby declares. “If one of us loses, we're not going to give up easily.”
She worded it as not succumbing to defeat just yet. And if everything did not work out, well then… They'll be there for each other.
And Memcho understands it based on how her mouth gape.
“Ruby—”
“But before thinking about losing, let's try our best to debut, alright?” Ruby smiles at her.
Memcho is silent for a moment before smiling softly at her.
“Then, I promise.”
Ruby beams.
If only her brother could see her right now.
***
Ruby padded into the dark kitchen in the middle of the night for a glass of water, the cool floor biting against her bare feet. Sleep wouldn’t come, not after being turned down yet again. Another audition, another rejection. It was starting to feel like a cruel routine.
As she descended the stairs with the glass in hand, she halted. Voices. Low, hushed, but sharp—an argument.
Curious, Ruby moved quietly, careful with each step, the shadows of the house stretching around her like an audience.
“You don’t understand, Mom…!” came Aqua’s voice, strained and urgent.
“Of course I understand,” Miyako replied, just as tense. “I think of Ruby as my own child.”
“Mom—!”
“It’s not like she’s going to become an idol right away in this country. She just needs to establish herself. Maybe along the way, Ruby will change her mind.”
“I still don’t want that.”
Ruby furrowed her brows, more alert now than she’d been all day. Her name—she had heard her name.
Miyako and Aqua arguing wasn’t new, but hearing her name, realizing she was the topic, it shifted something. When they fought, it usually ended in compromise. Or Ruby stepping in to calm things down. But now? She had to listen.
“Then you must understand!” Aqua hissed, his voice low but urgent. “I don’t want what happened to Mama to happen to Ruby.”
Ruby froze.
The thought of going to the kitchen was forgotten, the thirst faded suddenly.
A sinking dread pooled in her stomach.
Miyako sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “That doesn’t mean you have the right to destroy all the chances she’s worked so hard for.”
“Yeah, well—I’d rather that than see her become a corpse.”
“Aqua!” Miyako snapped, clearly horrified. “I understand. I really do. But every time she’s turned down, we all see how it crushes her.”
“She’ll get over it,” Aqua said, his tone going cold. “Then she’ll thank me for it.”
“No,” Miyako shot back. “You’re not doing this again. I’m grateful I found out about this now or else you would’ve kept going.”
“Yeah, I would’ve,” Aqua replied, calm but defiant. “I’d keep faking my voice to turn her down, emailing people to say she’s unavailable, even using my connections to block her from becoming an idol. You might hate what I’m doing now—and what I’ll do later—but this is for her best.”
Miyako opened her mouth, but Ruby heard no more.
Her mind had gone completely blank.
There was no way—right?
Aqua would never do that.
But this wasn’t the Aqua she used to know. This wasn’t the twin brother who used to cheer her on. This Aqua… was different. This Aqua didn’t want her to become an idol.
And maybe she could understand. Maybe she did. But—
Her thoughts spun back, further back, to a hospital bed. To her past self as Sarina. To the version of her who couldn't walk, couldn't stand without help, couldn't even go to the bathroom without assistance. To a life wrapped in tubes and silence. A life that ended too soon.
That girl hated being out of control.
And now? Her own brother was trying to take away her control.
Something snapped.
She no longer cared how loud her steps were. She stomped into the room, anger pulsing through her veins like wildfire. Miyako and Aqua both looked up, startled, but she didn’t stop. She stormed straight to Aqua and grabbed the collar of his pajama shirt in both hands, fists trembling with rage.
“Ruby!” Miyako gasped, rushing to her feet.
But Ruby barely heard her. She couldn’t tear her eyes off her brother.
“How dare you,” she spat. “How fucking dare you!”
“Ruby—”
“You have no right!” she yelled, face inches from his. “This is my life! I am capable of making decisions!”
“Capable?” Aqua tried to shake her off, but Ruby’s grip only tightened. “You’re only thirteen. You have so many other opportunities outside of being an idol—”
“Yeah, I’m fucking thirteen and I’ve been auditioning for two years!” she shouted.
Aqua looked stunned, silent as her voice cracked. She hadn’t even realized she was crying.
“I worked day and night for someone—anyone—to accept me,” she said through clenched teeth. “I thought it was me. Maybe something was wrong with me.”
“Ruby…” Miyako tried to intervene, her voice gentler now as she tried to reach out, but Ruby shrugged her off.
“You listened to me cry about this. You held me, and you knew—you fucking knew—and still…”
She shoved Aqua hard. He fell back onto the floor, eyes wide with shock, and Miyako knelt beside him instinctively. But Ruby didn’t stop glaring.
“You’re the reason I kept getting rejected, huh?”
Aqua bit his lip. His eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “I’m trying to keep you safe, Ruby…”
“Fuck you,” she snapped, voice raw. “You’re not protecting me. You’re just caging me.”
Her thoughts blurred again, flashing back to Sarina’s last day. How she begged for one more moment. One more chance to walk properly, to breathe, to live.
Aqua would never understand.
“Ruby—” Aqua reached a hand out from the floor, but she stepped back.
“Don’t talk to me,” she said, voice cold and shaking.
Then she turned and ran—past the living room, up the stairs, back to her room—leaving behind her brother’s betrayal, and the echo of Sarina’s desperate scream.
Notes:
Kana is always one step forward and two steps back :') (I promise there are moments she will shine, her character arc is still starting after all)
I hope Ruby wasn't OOC. I really want to plant some seeds that this girl loves to suppress her thoughts and feelings. But when unexpected situations come in, she also tends to explode like what happened in here (especially how desperate she was to grow up and be like Ai).
Chapter 29: Book 2: Strange segments
Summary:
And then… When the round ends, Yoshizumi turns. Her eyes meet Ruby’s with a fire so focused it makes Ruby straighten in her seat.
For a moment, Ruby doesn’t get it.
Then she does.
That look. Aqua used to give her the same one. A silent challenge. The unwavering gaze of someone who loves something just as fiercely as you do.
A hardcore fan versus a hardcore fan.
Ruby nods once. Challenge accepted.
Notes:
I now feel the authors who thought they were only going to make the arc only in 5 chapters but ended up become larger such as what Aka did on the Tokyo Blade arc.
I promise. Aqua will appear soon not as a flashback. I also miss him too.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The contestants have barely settled back in from their weekend break as they enter the venue when Himura claps his hands together at the front of the room, face beaming with an excitement that immediately puts everyone on edge.
Ruby narrows her eyes at him. He's always like this—bouncing with energy, voice rising and falling like he's announcing the Olympics instead of hosting an idol competition.
Sometimes, she finds it a little annoying. Other times, she wonders if it's just impressive how he never breaks character. Professionalism or madness, Ruby hasn’t decided yet.
Ugh, now she sounds like her brother. Ruby refrain grimacing at the thought.
“Alright, everyone!” Himura announces, voice booming through the studio. “Hope you’re all refreshed, because we’re jumping right back in with a special game segment!”
A few contestants groan. Someone mutters, “Already?”
“It’s a group challenge today,” Himura continues, undeterred. “You’ll be split into teams of three. Each team will take turns guessing clues from our game. The details will be revealed when it’s your turn.”
Whispers ripple through the group. Ruby catches Adashino leaning toward Kana and Sarina, her voice low but sharp enough for Ruby to catch, “We need to win this one. I’m pretty sure it ties into our next segment.”
Ruby doesn’t respond, but internally, she agrees. If this challenge affects their future performances, she’s not going to let it slip by. She’ll give it everything she’s got.
“And maybe we shall expect a big price for those who won, hm?” The host continues enthusiastically.
Adashino snorts. “Called it.”
“And before anyone accuses me of favoritism,” Himura grins, “I picked the teams randomly.”
The room immediately fills with groans and muffled complaints.
Of course.
***
T his is not happening.
Ruby stands stiffly between Sarina—who looks like she wants to vanish—and Luna, who’s grinning like she just walked into a festival booth instead of a minefield.
Great.
From what Ruby knows about Sarina, the girl wears a blank face like armor. Stoic, quiet, always watching. But even stone can crack. Ruby remembers what happened with Lara, and remembers the way Sarina cried. She’s human, after all.
Hmm, the only times Ruby saw Sarina genuinely smiling, being sad, and sometimes frustrated when Kana and Adashino are around.
Their eyes meet by accident.
Sarina quickly looks away first. There's an awkward smile on her face.
Yep, she knows I don't like her.
Before the silence thickens, Luna glances between them and chirps, “Time to make a truce if you don’t like each other!”
Ruby almost glares. Seriously? They’re live. A mic or a nearby camera might’ve caught that. Luna, for all her talent to be in this survival show, clearly can’t smell tension even if it hits her in the face with a bouquet of roses.
“What do you mean by that?” Ruby asks as she pretends to be oblivious and confused with what Luna just said.
Her time as an actor from years ago is always perfect to use at a time like this.
But Luna opens her mouth to answer, she's really oblivious, isn’t she?
Ruby immediately shakes her head as she puffs her chest, effectively cutting her off as she says, “We should probably focus on the game.”
Sarina nods immediately. “Sorry,” she says softly, eyes flicking downward. “I don’t know any B-Komachi songs.”
Right. That. Ruby sighs but more of a thought than real annoyance at Sarina. The game itself is straightforward, each team is shown a single lyric line and has to guess the correct B-Komachi song title.
She grins. It surprises even her.
It’s the first time she’s smiled at Sarina, and maybe it’s because her mind flashes to her own mother, the original center of B-Komachi. If anyone can carry this round, it’s her.
“I know all the B-Komachi songs,” she says confidently. “I got it.”
Sarina relaxes a little, a small, content smile forming on her lips.
Luna beams, clearly pleased. “That’s good. I don’t know any of their non-popular stuff.”
Ruby hums, eyes flicking towards the other groups.
Memcho is currently grouped with Kana and Lara. That's a group Ruby doesn't want to be in even if Memcho and Kana are there. She can practically see the mood from here.
Even if Lara is not like in the show, and multiple people hate her now, Ruby feels sorry for her now. Especially the way Lara has her shoulder hunch and eyes always on the floor.
Although Lara has people still voting for her, it's only a matter of time before her ranking plummets more than it has been.
She hopes Lara now learned her lesson.
Shaking her head, Ruby’s eyes wander to other contestants. She sees Adashino being teamed up with Yoshizumi and Minami. From what Kana told her, Yoshizumi is too much but Ruby hopes this will not be the case for this game. After all, she has become fond of Adashino and Minami.
Then, she searches for Suzushiro. She doesn't know who the two she's with but she hopes it's not a problematic contestant.
There are also interesting members that are grouped together but she doesn't pay them mind as she decides to focus on herself to prepare.
Just as Ruby tears her eyes away from the contestants, Himura strides back to center stage, grinning wide.
“Alright, everyone! Are you ready?” He questions the audience.
A chorus of yeses fills the air.
“Love that energy,” he laughs. “Let’s begin!”
Behind him, the massive screen lights up with a glowing bracket, names shifting into place. Ruby scans the list—and freezes.
Her team’s up first.
She swallows. Beside her, Sarina and Luna both look tense but ready. Ruby nods at them. They nod back.
Alright.
The three of them step up to the stage. There’s a long table. Two buzzers. A rival team she doesn’t recognize waits on the other end.
Ruby plants her hand near their buzzer.
The screen flashes.
You told me you love me, I returned it with silence.
BZZT.
“Letter to You.”
“Correct!” The sudden exclaims comes from the speaker.
Next line.
Scream, cry, shout. Don’t worry, little me.
BZZT.
“Things Echoing.”
“Correct!”
Did it feel better, my friend?
BZZT.
“Bottling Things Up.”
“Correct!”
Royal decree, shameful decree
BZZT.
“Mirror.”
“Correct!”
Cheers erupt. Sarina blinks at her in awe. Luna just starts clapping.
Ruby exhales through her nose, barely hiding the rush that just hit her. Her fingers hover over the buzzer again, steady.
She’s not just her mother’s daughter. She’s the real deal. She has been a fan since B-Komachi stepped on a stage where their first performance will be remembered throughout history by the real B-Komachi fans.
After the back and forth from the screen and Ruby herself…. Ruby’s team wins. Clean sweep. The opposing group doesn’t get a single point.
She hears the polite and impressed applause, sees the defeated smiles of the other team but her heart doesn’t budge. Ruby feels a flicker of guilt. It was brief but small. Unfortunately, passion drowns it out.
When it comes to Mama—when it comes to B-Komachi—Ruby refuses to give anything less than her all.
“Being decorated next to Ruby’s spotlight isn’t so bad in this place.” Back at their seats, Luna stretches with a satisfied hum.
Ruby lets out a short laugh, half out of surprise. “Decoration?”
Luna shrugs. “Yep! Ah right, we can be just cute accessories.”
Sarina nods solemnly, lips pursed like she’s delivering an oath. “She’s right. I should start worshipping the ground you walk on. Or at least ask for your autograph.”
“Ugh,” Ruby groans, but she’s laughing now, cheeks pink. “You really don’t have to do that. I’m not—”
“You are,” Luna cuts in, poking her lightly in the arm. “That was scary. In a good way. Like watching a genius in her natural habitat.”
Sarina leans forward, eyes narrowed in thought. “Do you want us to call you 'sensei'? Or is ‘queen’ more your thing?”
Ruby opens her mouth to protest, but Luna is already fake-bowing in her seat. “Your majesty,” she says with a grin.
She snorts. “Stop. Seriously. You're making it weird.”
“Weirdly respectful,” Sarina adds, still nodding along. “You're also scary so I need to do this.”
Seriously?
Ruby throws her head back, laughing properly now, until she catches the serious glint in both their eyes. They're still nodding. Their faces are more serious than ever but there’s a lightness around them that doesn’t seem… serious.
She blinks. “Wait. You guys are actually serious?”
Luna shrugs again. “A little. I mean, if we want to win, letting you do your own thing is a smart plan.”
She almost throws her hands up in the air. Seriously, she couldn’t tell if they are joking.
“I’m not a strategy master,” Ruby replies instead, half amused, half horrified.
“You’re a legend in the making,” Sarina says, totally deadpan.
Ruby makes a strangled noise.
And she's pretty sure Sarina is doing this because Ruby is not exactly welcoming to her. So there’s a possibility Sarina wants to pacify Ruby or something.
Huh.
She tilts her head to Sarina, and Sarina blinks at her in confusion before she looks away as she twindle her index fingers.
“We are just joking…” Sarina mumbles as she peeks at Ruby's reaction before avoiding her eyes again.
Does…
Does Sarina want me to like her?
“Umm…” Ruby clears her throat. “It's fine, just don't go through with the ridiculous titles.”
Sarina blinks at her before she smiles tentatively at her.
Looking at her face, it feels like Ruby is looking at her past self who wanted to be acknowledged and happy to be able to get a scrap of positive emotions she can get.
Weirdly, Ruby feels guilty about it.
She hates the fact it made her feel like one of the monsters who haunted Ruby as Sarina.
Was that her face in the past life when she waited for mom to say she loves Sarina, and was that her face when mom did some bare minimum things as a mother?
It’s a pathetic face to wear.
Before Ruby can do something about this kind of interaction, the stage lights shift.
Another pair of groups heads up. Kana and Lara are with Memcho at the center, looking more enthusiastic. She can imagine how unenthusiastic Kana is with her group despite how outwardly she was smiling, specifically Lara. Ruby chuckles at the image of the face Kana could make right now if there’s no cameras.
Their focus immediately shifts.
Ruby leans forward, elbows on her knees.
Let’s see how they do.
Memcho was also a fan, wasn’t she? Is she one of die hard fans of B-Komachi or just an Ai fan? With how they sometimes spend time with each other, she doesn’t know how much of a fan Memcho was. Especially when there are people who said they are just casual listeners but ended up a fan who knows their idol’s whole life.
As she thought of it, suddenly, an arm reached toward her.
Ruby barely flinches—it's just Luna.
She tilts her head slightly, wordless, giving Luna silent permission.
Luna cups her hands around Ruby’s ears, leaning in close, her breath warm and deliberate.
“Maybe you really could become a god,” she whispers, voice light— too light. “You have the potential, Hoshino Ruby.”
The words send an unexpected shiver down Ruby’s spine.
She pulls back without thinking, putting a sliver of distance between them.
Luna only blinks at her, all wide-eyed innocence.
But Ruby sees it—just for a second. That glint. Sharp and watchful. The look of someone who sees more than she lets on.
Then Luna laughs softly, almost to herself. “That’s a joke, Ruby.”
Ruby doesn’t know how to respond. So she just nods, slowly, and turns back to the stage, pretending to focus on Kana and Memcho.
But part of her is still listening. Still wondering.
Because what the hell was that???
Ruby shakes her head to get the interaction out of her mind. She knows Luna can be weird and ditzy, so she needs to not take her seriously.
Memcho ended up just being a fan of Ai.
***
By the time they reach Adashino’s team, Ruby’s already forgotten Luna’s whisper. Adashino’s group consists of Minami and Yoshizumi.
Guessing B-Komachi songs turns out to be unexpectedly fun, especially when she mouths each answer under her breath like a secret only she knows.
She leans forward slightly, curious who’ll take the buzzer.
… It’s Yoshizumi.
Ruby raises a brow.
Then lower it. Not surprised anymore after the game started.
Because...
An oath for revenge is to live in this unfulfilling life.
BZZT.
“Make Your Happy Ending.”
“Correct!”
Refrain and refrain because maybe it’s worth it.
BZZT.
“Clown.”
“Correct!”
They don’t want to be guilty, instead, they want it to be a guilty pleasure.
BZZT.
“Never the Guilt.”
“Correct!”
Two stars, o shine bright upon me miraculously.
BZZT.
“Starlight.”
“Correct!”
Gasps ripple through the room, just like when Ruby had her turn. Even Ruby finds herself blinking, slightly impressed.
It’s a landslide. Yoshizumi doesn’t even glance at her teammates—And maybe Luna was onto something when she said she and Sarina were cute accessories during their game. Adashino and Minami are practically set decorations.
And then… When the round ends, Yoshizumi turns. Her eyes meet Ruby’s with a fire so focused it makes Ruby straighten in her seat.
For a moment, Ruby doesn’t get it.
Then she does.
That look. Aqua used to give her the same one. A silent challenge. The unwavering gaze of someone who loves something just as fiercely as you do.
A hardcore fan versus a hardcore fan.
Ruby nods once. Challenge accepted.
Yoshizumi smirks, nodding back, satisfied. As her team heads back, Minami gives her a puzzled glance, while Adashino just looks amused.
“Woah, that was intense,” Sarina murmurs.
Ruby doesn’t respond. She’s already running strategies in her head.
She needs to focus. To meditate. To win.
Losing to a fan like Yoshizumi, when she's one of the first fans of B-Komachi and she’s also the daughter of Ai…
That kind of loss wouldn’t just sting—it’d humiliate her.
“I don’t read minds, but I think she already forgot there’s a camera,” Luna says with a snigger.
“Let her be,” Sarina replies. “It’s cooler that way.”
***
“I’m really sorry, Memcho,” Ruby says, solemn as a funeral bell.
Memcho is already on her knees, head bowed like she’s just been banished from her homeland. “No… it’s over. I’ve failed her.”
Kana crouches beside her, poking her in the side. “Get up, you drama queen. It’s just a game.”
“No, Kana. It’s not just a game,” Memcho moans, clutching her chest like she's about to faint. “I’ve been an Ai fan since Star TRain! I had stickers. Merch. I even had the rare holographic card from the 2006 fan event!”
Across from her, Lara crosses her arms, thoroughly amused. Luna, meanwhile, is grinning through the interaction. At the same time, Sarina is immersed in what's happening.
Ruby, guilt-ridden but slightly alarmed, gently places a hand on Memcho’s shoulder. “If it makes you feel better… you were up against a veteran fan.”
“You’re younger than me!”
“So?”
“Why do all the kids these days know more about Ai than me?!” Memcho cries to the heavens. “Is this my villain origin story?!”
Ruby sweat drops. She can’t exactly tell Memcho that it’s because she literally was one of Ai’s fans from her previous life. That might cause… problems.
But Memcho isn't done. She suddenly grabs Ruby by both shoulders, eyes blazing with newfound purpose. “Promise me something.”
Ruby nods, very seriously. “Anything.”
“Win the final round. For me. For all the fallen fans. For Ai.”
“I will,” Ruby says with the gravity of a soldier marching to war. “Even if it kills me.”
Off to the side, Luna stifles a laugh. “Why does it feel like I’m watching an asadora?”
Kana groans. “Memcho’s not even a theatre kid. What’s in this game? Is it laced with emotional chaos?”
Sarina shrugs. “Whatever it is, I want more of it.”
Just then, Himura steps into frame—arms wide, voice booming, as if he's been waiting his whole life for this cue.
“A crushing defeat. A vow for redemption. A promise sealed under the spotlight!” he declares, spinning dramatically with a mic that no one gave him permission to use like that. “Ladies and gentlemen, what passion! What pain! What a performance! This is the spirit of Finding Star!”
Kana stares at him, deadpan. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
He’s not. He’s already posing like a Shakespearean narrator caught in the middle of a tragedy.
“I feel like he just materialized from a fog machine,” Sarina whispers.
“Shhh, he might summon one next,” Lara mutters, both impressed and alarmed.
Kana groans and mutters, “This is a reality show. Not a telenovela.”
Luna beams as she starts clapping widely, making the entire audience—who are mostly contestants—claps with her.
***
“Please don’t kill each other,” Adashino mutters under her breath, eyeing the intensity radiating from Ruby and Yoshizumi like heatwaves.
“If eyes could kill, they’d already be dead,” Sarina says dryly.
“This is so fun,” Luna laughs, as if she’s watching a soap opera and not standing next to the girl who's practically vibrating with tension.
“This is kinda scary and fun…” Minami whispers, hugging herself.
Before anyone else can comment, Himura strides to center stage like he’s entering a Broadway spotlight that doesn’t exist. His voice booms over the mic with theatrical gusto.
“And now… we arrive at the final round! The ultimate clash! The duel of B-Komachi connoisseurs!” He spins dramatically as if he’s about to throw glitter in the air. “But there’s a twist! These lyrics—are from the classic B-Komachi era. The golden years. The old tracks that only true fans remember!”
Ruby's heart hammers in her chest.
Yoshizumi’s eyes are already burning holes into her skull.
Himura grins and asks the question that feels like it echoes across a battlefield, “Are you ready?”
Both Ruby and Yoshizumi nod silently, jaws clenched. The air sizzles. Sparks practically fly between them as they glare across the buzzer podium.
And then… The screen lights up.
Responsibilities made their way on my shoulder, help me
BZZT.
“Leading!” Ruby’s voice is sharp, confident.
“Correct!”
You’re cute too, you know?
BZZT.
“My Dangerous Love,” Yoshizumi answers without blinking.
“Correct!”
Your glow stick makes too strong of a statement
BZZT.
“Sign wa B!” Ruby says with a grin, her voice rising in tempo.
“Correct!”
Because you’re smiling, I can try even harder, definitely
BZZT.
“Heart Kiss.” Yoshizumi doesn’t even flinch.
“Correct!”
The story we’re starting now, is a tale we’ll all create together
BZZT.
“We Are Perfect Invincible Idols!” Ruby yells, practically shaking the mic.
“Correct!”
Dance on there, feel the beat with us on the stage
BZZT.
“Let’s Go Have Some Fun!” Yoshizumi shouts, her voice matching Ruby’s intensity.
“Correct!”
Himura nearly stumbles trying to keep up. He’s narrating like his life depends on it. “It’s neck and neck! Back and forth like a tennis match of lyrical proportions! Their reflexes— inhuman! Their knowledge— legendary! Their rage— we’ll get back to that later!”
The buzzer lights blink, signaling one final lyric. A hush falls. Even Adashino forgets to comment about this interaction. Luna leans in like she’s about to bite her nails.
It’s the final round. A tie.
One lyric will decide it all.
And Ruby doesn’t just want to win. She needs to.
For Ai. For herself. For every imaginary glow stick ever waved in the air. The screen lights up one final time.
Give me your smile. You, and you, and you. Make me smile.
BZZT.
“Your New Idols!” Ruby exclaims, breathless.
“Correct!”
A chime rings out. The scoreboard flashes. And just like that—Ruby wins.
“YOU WON!” Sarina shrieks, dashing toward her with Luna hot on her heels.
Ruby lets out a high-pitched squeal, bouncing as her groupmates engulf her in a celebratory hug.
“Ahh! I thought I was gonna faint!” she giggles, clutching their hands.
On the other side, Yoshizumi steps back in a daze. “I… lost?” she murmurs, like it hasn’t quite hit her.
Adashino pats her on the back gently. “You put up a legendary fight, Yoshizumi.”
“You were amazing,” Minami adds sincerely, even as she’s still holding onto the hem of her shirt like she just witnessed a war.
Ruby spots the subtle slump in Yoshizumi’s shoulders, the quiet disappointment behind her polite smile. So she pulls away from her group and walks toward her.
Yoshizumi watches her approach with wary eyes, like she doesn’t know whether Ruby’s here to gloat or gloat harder.
“That was amazing!” Ruby says brightly, beaming. “Seriously, I was sweating.”
Yoshizumi lets out a breath and smiles back. “Thanks. So, you’re a fan of the B-Komachi too, huh?”
“I am! I know all of their songs by heart.” Ruby puffs up a little with pride.
“Oh yeah?” Yoshizumi narrows her eyes playfully. “What’s your favorite?”
“‘Sign wa B’ hands down.”
Yoshizumi nods in approval. “Classic. You got my respect.”
And just like that, the tension between them fades into something softer. Rivals, sure—but also kindred spirits.
Then Himura dramatically strides back onto center stage, as if narrating a sports anime finale. “And so, our tale ends not with bitter rivalry, but with the birth of a friendship forged in flames! Truly, the spirit of B-Komachi lives on!”
Minami giggles. “He’s really enjoying this, huh?”
Adashino smirks. “The producers and editors are going to love this. This episode’s practically editing itself.”
Luna claps her hands. “Well, we came for trivia, but we stayed for the drama.”
Ruby just laughs, still riding the high of victory, her heart swelling—not just because she won…
…but because she knows mama would’ve loved this moment too, maybe laughing about it.
“The top three groups who won, please come forward!” Himura announces with exaggerated grandeur, arms wide like he’s hosting a pageant finale.
Ruby and Yoshizumi’s groups are already on stage, standing with anticipation as they wait for Memcho’s team to join them.
Memcho bounds up with a dramatic twirl and immediately hugs Ruby. “You did it! Proud of you, kid.”
Kana grins at her teammate. “Congratulations. You buzzed like your life depended on it.”
Ruby beams, feeling shy all of a sudden. “Thank you…!”
Meanwhile, Lara quietly steps beside them. Ruby isn’t quite sure whether to acknowledge her or offer an awkward smile. Lara did play the villain earlier toward Sarina and Adashino, and the silence between them feels like a leftover subplot.
“And now,” Himura continues, suddenly pulling out cue cards with flair, “let’s talk prizes!”
Ruby perks up. Finally, her heart races with expectation. She did win first place, after all. Surely that means something glamorous. Maybe a performance spotlight? A scholarship for advanced training? Picking a team like earlier? Choosing their own song—
“For our third runner-up…” Himura points to Memcho’s team like he’s unveiling a million-yen cheque. “A luxurious box of—”
He dramatically flips a cloth off a box to reveal…
“…Ramen.”
Memcho blinks. “A box of… ramen?”
The screen also lights up to show the box of ramen, and makes a caption about it as Himura continues speaking.
“Not just any ramen,” Himura counters immediately, voice going into pitch-man mode. “This is premium, handcrafted, gold-wrapped, artisan-blended ramen with imported kelp and flavor packets sourced from Hokkaido’s finest!”
“Uh-huh,” Sarina deadpans.
Luna leans to Ruby. “Do we clap for that?”
Ignoring the lack of fanfare, Himura pivots quickly. “Now for our second runner-up!” He gestures toward Yoshizumi’s group with a wink. “You will receive an exclusive gift card to the legendary Aikatsu Dress Shop!”
There’s a pause.
“…Expires at the end of the month,” he adds quickly as the screen behind shows multiple beautiful dresses.
Ruby frowns. “Aikatsu?”
Oh. Right. This whole “Finding Star” program is sponsored by a top idol agency. But still—
“What does that have to do with this game?” Sarina whispers, puzzled.
Then comes the grand moment. Himura whips out his final cue card with a flourish and says in a booming voice:
“And now, our grand prize for the winning team—drumroll, please!”
The lights flicker dramatically as the studio screen displays digital fireworks behind him and the drumroll indeed is heard through the speakers.
“A top-of-the-line set of home appliances! That’s right! A brand-new, energy-saving air conditioner and heater combo, built to survive anything from blizzards to heat waves! Keep cool while staying hot, ladies!”
The camera pans to the stunned winners.
Silence.
It’s deafening.
Ruby slowly blinks. “Wait… what?”
Next to her, Adashino sighs like her soul just left her body. “We’ve been bamboozled.”
“Hm?” Ruby glances at her, still dazed.
Adashino gives her a thin, dead smile. “This whole game… has nothing to do with the program. Zero correlation. Just random trivia and lyrics.”
Before Ruby can process that, Kana chimes in with a resigned sigh.
“This was all… sponsorship fluff.” She smiles, but it’s the smile of someone who has accepted the futility of hope. “They needed screen time for ads.”
Oh. Of course. As Saitou’s daughter, she should’ve seen this coming. Of course there was a corporate agenda hidden behind all the fanfare.
This corporate capitalism…
“I got my hopes up…” Ruby murmurs, deflated.
Minami, ever the optimist, tries to spin it. “Maybe our next segment will be easier?”
The winners are ushered to the center for a commemorative photo, all three teams forced to pose beside their respective prices. Ruby clutches the box for the heater and aircon like it personally betrayed her.
Then, as if to twist the knife, Himura throws both hands up and proclaims with a cheesy grin:
“See? Isn’t this a BIG PRIZE? Aren’t you all glad you won?!”
The camera captures the blank stares of all the winners. No one claps. Not even a polite smile.
Just three teams, collectively radiating disappointment.
Memcho mumbles, “This better be the kind of ramen Ai liked…”
Yoshizumi squints at the gift card. “How are we supposed to pick outfits when we're going to be busy this month?”
Ruby stares straight ahead, deadpan. “I’m going to plug in this heater and sit with my regrets.”
Himura gives an awkward chuckle, scratching the back of his head. “…Heh. Ratings, right?”
Of course, that’s when the cue of the off-camera laugh track is summoned that no one asked for.
The three winning teams shuffle back to their seats, arms full of absurd prizes—ramen, a nearly expired gift card, and an aircon unit that's definitely too big to carry around like a trophy.
As they sit, the rest of the contestants stare at them, not with jealousy, but something else entirely. Pity.
Kana tries to hide the ramen box under the bench like it’s contraband. Memcho sighs dramatically. “We risked it all… for noodles.”
One of the contestants from the back leans forward, Suzushiro, voice soaked in mock-sympathy and teasing, trying to make the air around them lighter. “At least you’ll be well-fed in defeat.”
“Hey, the heater might be useful when we're crying alone this winter,” Kana deadpans, arms crossed and eyes hollow with the weight of reality.
Ruby chuckles as Adashino and others laugh. Suzushiro smiles as her own teammates shake their heads in amusement.
But Yoshizumi, proud and composed just minutes ago, sinks quietly into her seat with a tight-lipped smile.
And then—
“Alright!” Himura claps once, the sound echoing through the room like a sudden crack of thunder.
The laughter cuts short.
So the real segment finally starts, huh? The air subtly shifts.
“Now that we’ve celebrated your glorious, sponsored victories,” Himura says, voice cooler, “it’s time to move on to something a bit more… serious.”
The screen behind him darkens. The upbeat jingle that played during the game fades out, replaced by a low hum—subtle, foreboding.
“All contestants,” he says, glancing around the room, “you may want to brace yourselves.”
A beat.
“The results of the public vote are in.”
A collective stillness spreads across the room like frost.
“You all knew this was coming,” Himura continues, his voice lower, more formal now. “As part of the program, viewers or as I should call them our shareholders have been voting to decide who continues on.”
There's an implication of someone also getting eliminated because their own votes are not enough.
No one moves. No one breathes. The aircon Ruby won feels like it's humming softly at her feet, it’s not even on.
And just like that, the silly prizes, the laughter, the ramen… It all feels like relics from another world.
“Let’s begin,” Himura says, tapping the tablet in his hand.
The screen flickers again. And the names begin to appear.
- Hoshino Ruby
- Yoshizumi Mimi
- Memcho
- Adashino Mei
- Mitsuki Nase
- Minami Kotobuki
- Yoshizumi Mana
- Tendouji Sarina
- ….
- …..
- Arima Kana
- Luna
~~~
“Wait… only thirty are left?” Yoshizumi blurts out, her voice sharp with disbelief.
Himura nods solemnly, no trace of his earlier theatrics left. “Unfortunately, yes. It’s time to say goodbye to those who will leave.”
A heavy silence settles like fog.
Ruby swallows. Her grip tightens on the flimsy prize coupon still clutched in her hands. She doesn’t think anyone who’s about to step out of this building wants that fate—not now, not after everything they’ve pushed through to get here.
All around her, motion ripples through the crowd. A few contestants rise slowly, disappointment etched across their faces. Some move like they’re in a daze, blinking at the floor, unwilling to meet the cameras that begin to follow them. Others stand with stiff shoulders, their anger barely contained, jawlines clenched as they march toward the exit.
Ruby’s eyes scan the crowd, then freeze when she spots Lara.
Lara is standing up.
Ruby isn’t sure how to feel. It’s true Lara had been hostile—especially toward Sarina and Adashino—but lately, she’d toned down. Maybe it was the backlash from the internet. Maybe it was self-reflection.
Still, it’s strange. Watching Lara leave stirs something complicated inside Ruby. Not quite sympathy.
She settles on being satisfied. After all, a bully is a bully. Consequences and karma goes hand to hand.
Objectively, as a person who grew up in the entertainment industry, she should be neutral about this. Like what she has been doing for months in this program. After all, Lara is still 18, she’s young.
It’s what Miyako and Ichigo would’ve thought.
Serves her right, Ruby barely hides her smirk with a cough.
Ugh, she hates bullies so much.
As the eliminated contestants file toward the exit, some smile bitterly, others refuse to look back. A few even offer quiet waves to those staying behind. And overhead, camera drones hover silently, likely capturing footage for the episode’s emotional send-off montage.
Then, Himura straightens up and claps again, reclaiming the room’s attention with a theatrical brightness that feels almost jarring.
“Congratulations, remaining contestants!” he announces. “But the real question is—who among you will be the four to debut?”
Top four, huh?
Murmurs ripple through the remaining crowd. Ruby stiffens, jolted back into the larger stakes at play. Of course, the top four. Debuting is always the goal. That’s always been the goal.
She can't afford to forget that.
The stage lights flicker as staff members roll out what appears to be a large decorative box, draped in shimmering fabric.
“A ruffle draw?” Kana whispers next to her.
“Exactly!” Himura says, as if hearing her. “This box contains slips of paper, each with your new designated room. When your name is called, come forward, draw your paper, and head to your assigned location. Your next phase begins there.”
He gestures toward a screen that displays different titles. Each one corresponds to a room where contestants will be evaluated and grouped together.
“Above each room, the word written on your paper will be displayed. It’s your new group—your new challenge,” Himura explains.
Staff members begin handing out instructions. Ruby glances down and sees that, thankfully, they’ll be assisted in retrieving their “prizes” from earlier.
Good. The last thing she wants is to drag a giant heater up the stairs while contemplating her idol's future.
Himura’s voice continues, now tinged with anticipation. “This is where things get serious. These rooms will determine the next stage of your journey. Your skills. Your teamwork. Your ability to stand out—or fall behind.”
Ruby glances at Yoshizumi, then at Kana and Sarina. Their expressions mirror hers: a mix of adrenaline, nerves, and grim determination.
And the countdown to debut has begun.
Just as the tension settles into a comfortable silence as the explanation is finished, Himura claps his hands again with an exaggerated grin.
“Ah! Before we move on to the room assignments, there’s one more surprise!” he says, eyes twinkling like this is the finale of a comedy show.
A few contestants audibly groan.
Yoshizumi squints at him. “There’s always a catch, huh?”
“What kind of surprise now?” Someone from the back calls out.
Himura’s grin widens as he stares at the camera. “Starting right after this episode airs, we’ll be opening two live voting options for our beloved viewers slash shareholders—”
Here it comes.
“—One for your favorites, of course. Vote to support the idol you believe in!”
Some contestants exchange nods, relief flickering.
“—And the second vote,” Himura continues, “will be for the contestants you want to see eliminated. That’s right! If there’s someone who’s rubbed you the wrong way, this is your chance to say goodbye!”
The atmosphere changes in an instant.
Like someone turned down the temperature and dialed up the pressure.
Even the contestants who were smiling seconds ago freeze. Ruby watches a few eyes flick across the room, quietly calculating who’s safe, and who’s now vulnerable.
Ruby feels it in her chest—tight, cold.
A vote to eliminate. On top of the vote to support.
A system built for chaos.
“Don’t forget,” Himura adds with mock solemnity, “these votes come from our shareholders. Your fans. The people spending their hard-earned money to see who deserves the spotlight… and who doesn’t.”
Ruby’s fingers curl around the prize paper until it crumples.
Of course.
Of course it’s monetized. Every tap, every vote—tied to money. The more votes, the more the program earns. It doesn’t matter who deserves to stay. What matters is who can sell their presence and survive public scrutiny at the same time.
Capitalism, that fucking bitch.
Ruby’s jaw tightens. This is rigged. Not by design, but by economics. If a single fan wants to vote fifty times to save their favorite or bury their favorite’s rival, all they need is cash.
And it’s already happening. She can feel it.
The perfect girls will be accused of being fake. The loud ones, too annoying. The quiet ones, boring. And the ones like Ruby—who’ve been first ranking throughout the program?
People love to tear down the top, especially when they think it's overrated.
Troll bait can also have money to vote for the contestants they want gone.
A contestant behind her whispers something like, “We’re screwed,” and Ruby can’t disagree.
She keeps her face calm for the cameras, but her mind is spinning.
So this is the real survival game.
And no amount of talent can protect them from what’s coming.
***
Kana walks a step behind the others, the hallway ahead lit with golden studio bulbs that make everything feel more glamorous than it really is. Her fingers play with the folded paper in her hand.
She should feel excitement for the next segment. Or at least some curiosity.
But all she can think about is the game earlier…
That was fun. Probably the last fun I’ll have here.
She hadn’t meant to enjoy the silly prize segment as much as she did. The absurdity of it, the premium ramen, the too-short gift card, the way Himura beamed like it was a national holiday had made her laugh despite how ridiculous it was.
And that worries her. Because the more comfortable she gets, the more it’ll hurt when she leaves.
Kana’s seen the comments online, even before she joined this program. Some fans remember her—the so-called ‘child genius actress’—but most don’t even like her. Some say she’s annoying. Others claim she peaked before she hit puberty. A few call her intimidating or fake.
And now this new voting system? Where people can literally pay to eliminate her?
Yeah.
She’s done for.
“You okay?” a voice cuts through her spiral. Adashino.
Kana blinks as the girl slows her pace to match hers, brows gently raised in concern.
“I’m just…” Kana trails off, then forces a tight-lipped smile. “Gonna say goodbye to the dorm. And to all the free food. After this.”
Adashino frowns. “Why would—”
Before she can finish, Sarina bounces up beside them, a bright grin lighting up her face as she peeks at Adashino's paper. “We’re in the same group!” she says. “Ours both say ‘Stars.’ Hm, why do you think it says ‘star,’ though?”
“Well, idols have always been connected with stars,” Adashino replies. “Regardless, I’m glad we’re on the same team again.”
Sarina beams before turning to Kana. “What about you?”
Kana hesitates, then lifts her paper. “White Roses.”
Sarina visibly deflates. “Ah… I wanted you with us.”
She offers a small, genuine smile. “Me too.”
They reach the designated corridor, bold decorative plaques hanging above each door. “STARS” is written in shimmering gold on a navy plaque. Sarina eagerly rushes inside, Adashino following more reservedly.
Before disappearing through the door, Adashino turns back. “See you around?”
“Yeah,” Kana says. “Definitely.”
Adashino and Sarina slip into their room. Kana pauses in front of the door beside it.
White Roses.
It looks elegant. Almost bridal. She braces herself for a room full of strangers.
But when she steps inside—
“Kana!” Memcho throws an arm over her shoulders like they’re old friends.
Kana stiffens out of instinct, but only for a second. Then she allows it, the corner of her mouth twitching up slightly.
She doesn’t mind Memcho. Not after everything earlier. Probably also because they bonded over that traumatizing game prizes segment.
“Look at our team!” Ruby says from the couch, arms crossed in a mock pout that doesn’t hide her smile. “I was hoping you’d be the last one.”
“Really?” Kana blinks.
Ruby grins. “Of course. You’re smart, calm, and you don’t freak out under pressure. We need someone like you.”
Kana stands there for a beat, unsure what to say.
Then Memcho adds, “Plus, we already have ramen, appliances, and trauma from that voting announcement. Might as well stick together.”
That makes Kana snort as she looks around the room.
Pale gold trim runs along the walls, and a vase of—of course—white roses sits on a glass table by the window. It's a delicate little thing, as if it could be destroyed for a moment. Kana shakes her head, for whatever challenge they’re about to be thrown into.
“So…” she begins, glancing at the other two, “what are we supposed to do here?”
Before either of them can answer, a chime echoes from above. A screen slides down from the ceiling with a soft mechanical whirr, displaying a message in sleek white text:
“Your mission: Cover and perform ‘Star T Rain’ by B-Komachi. Good luck, Team White Roses.”
Memcho blinks. Then it goes dead quiet.
Kana turns to her. “…What?”
Memcho exhales slowly, placing her hands on her hips. “Why does it have to be B-Komachi?”
There’s no anger in her voice, just something deeper. Tension, frustration, and almost embarrassment.
Kana tilts her head, curious.
She then remembers. During one of the earlier segments, Memcho had covered a B-Komachi song. Challenger, wasn’t it? Kana didn’t think it was that bad, but the online reaction had been brutal. Viewers picked apart every second, compared it line-by-line to the original. Some even accused her of ruining it.
“I love them,” Memcho mutters, rubbing her face with both hands. “I really do. But I can’t do another B-Komachi cover. People are already waiting to tear me apart.”
That they could agree on.
“Well…” Kana starts, but Ruby cuts in, shaking her head.
“No. This is perfect."
Memcho looks at her, startled. “What?”
Kana raises an eyebrow. “You’re… serious?”
Ruby nods, her expression unreadable.
Memcho frowns. “Ruby. Why would you say that? Covering a song from a popular group is bad, right?”
“I didn’t say that,” Ruby replies, stepping toward them, her voice unusually calm. “I just can’t explain it right now. You’ll have to trust me on this.”
Both Kana and Memcho stare at her.
“…What do you mean you can’t explain?” Kana asks, suspicious.
“I mean I can’t because it would be a good surprise. Also you won’t believe it unless we perform it,” Ruby says simply, folding her arms. “But I’m telling you, this song is the right one, for us.”
Kana doesn’t know what that means, and judging by Memcho’s pressed lips, she doesn’t either. Still, the conviction in Ruby’s voice gives them pause. It isn’t defensive. It isn’t hopeful. It’s certain.
It reminds her of someone.
She doesn't know who though.
Memcho hesitates, then slowly nods. “Okay… okay. I’ll trust you.”
Kana isn’t as sure, but she doesn’t push it.
Instead, she changes the subject. “What does this have to do with ‘White Roses,’ anyway?”
Memcho shrugs. “Probably just aesthetic. Y’know. Team names and vibes.”
Ruby nods. “Yeah. They probably just wanted to give each group something pretty.”
Kana glances around the room again. The delicately arranged flowers. The pristine walls. The ornate mirror. It feels too curated to be random.
“…Maybe we can make it mean something,” Kana murmurs. “For the performance. Like… tie it in somehow.”
Ruby grins, finally seeming to relax. “Now that’s the spirit.”
Memcho chuckles nervously. “Okay… so we’re doing B-Komachi. We’re trusting Ruby. And we’re gonna make white roses part of our concept. No pressure.”
Ruby holds out her hand. “Let’s make it ours.”
Kana stares at her hand for a moment, then takes it. Memcho also places her hand on the top of it with a smile.
Even if this is her last chance, she’ll at least make it something worth remembering.
Notes:
I might as well reveal this so here goes nothing.
There's going to be Ruby/Kana ship in here. WAIT! LET ME EXPLAIN BEFORE YOU ALL GO TO THE COMMENT SECTION!
Ehem. So anyway, this is more of Ruby having unrequited feelings for Kana. I keep giving hints for the past chapters how she's forming a crush on Kana without her own knowledge lol (It's like Aqua in canon who keeps saying that Kana is objectively cute multiple times, not realizing he's falling in love. Ok bro)
I really want Ruby to come to terms of her sexuality and her own first love towards Gorou. I want to make a parallel between her own first love from the previous life and in this life. Sarina = Gorou and Ruby = Kana.
There will be no love triangle drama BS between the twins. Because even Ruby is going to be oblivious to her own feelings considering the fact she thinks male - female romance are more acceptable approach, especially in the entertainment industry (comphet is a bitch).
So... I want to ask if I should tag this fic as Kana/Ruby. Maybe put the unrequited or one sided just in case? Should I put it on relationship tags or the added tags?
Anyway, I want to hear all your thoughts about this chapter! :DDD
Chapter 30: Book 2: It's not always the high notes
Summary:
“The food here is always delicious,” Kana says through a mouthful of rice, chewing with exaggerated appreciation.
“Right?” Sarina chimes in, a small smile tugging at her lips. “I’ll miss it once everything’s over.”
Kana nods solemnly, her gaze fixed on her plate like it’s the last supper. “I don’t want to leave any regrets so—” she sighs dramatically, setting her chopsticks down. “Goodbye.”
Memcho and Sarina exchange a confused glance. Adashino doesn’t even blink. She just keeps eating, as if this is routine.
Kana places a hand on the table, stroking the wood like it’s a beloved pet. “Always so clean… goodbye.”
Ruby blinks. “Um, senpai? What are you doing?”
Chapter Text
Mrs. Akiko
@akikofaves
KANA BEING IN THE SAME TEAM AS RUBY AGAIN??? the devs are FEEDING us this season #FindingStarEp6
31 replies 232 retweets 555 hearts
On Flare
@idoltrash1998:
B-Komachi again??? Someone protect Memcho please #FindingStarEp6 #StarTRain
22 replies 93 retweets 1k hearts
|
Fork
@sponconwatch
Replying to @idoltrash1998:
tbf all of the teams got bkomachi song
85 replies 115 retweets 487 hearts
Memememem
@memchodaily
Memcho: wins a box of ramen
Also Memcho: “This better be what Ai likes”
Me: girl I love you #FindingStar #WhiteRoses
290 replies 618 retweets 2k hearts
Child me genuis
@itskanaagain
Yoshizumi acting like the gift card was a death sentence while Ruby was ready to cook the heater with her. Same room, different lives. #FindingStarEp6
3 replies 8 retweets 222 hearts
Fork
@sponconwatch
Can we talk about how they deadass used Finding Star to push a noodle brand, a home store, and a tech appliance in 2 minutes?? The capitalism jumped OUT. #AdWatchingStars
10 replies 17 retweets 329 hearts
My name is drama🍵
@idoltea
I was NOT ready for Himura screaming over appliances like it’s the finale. Also… why did I write down the brand name? Help. #FindingStar #ProductPlacementStrikesAgain
[Attaching the particular clip]
91 replies 777 retweets 2.1k hearts
Number Ari
@nametakenlol
Every time someone wins something in Finding Star, the camera zooms in like a full commercial. I’m SCARED. Are they gonna make them do laundry for bonus points next??? #FindingStarEp6
2 replies 20 retweets 199 hearts
Missy_Ai
@bkomachibaby
WAIT hold up Yoshizumi and Ruby both saying sign wa b is their favorite song??? Classic. Iconic. I’m rooting for these nerds. #FindingStar #BKomachiLove
39 replies 65 retweets 435 hearts
Betty beta📖
@guessinggamepro
The way they got way too into the B-Komachi guessing game like it was a national sport… and Ruby SMASHED it. I love her #FindingStarEp6
15 replies 53 retweets 341 hearts
Acting the idol
@underratedkana
Minami just stood there like “wtf” while Ruby and Yoshizumi bonded over Ai and screamed lyrics. Introvert pain. #FindingStar #WhiteRoses
[Attached video of the particular clip]
122 replies 998 retweets 2.3k hearts
Ruby loves the moon
@memchomoon
Memcho grabbing Ruby's hands and going “Make sure you win” like they were in a drama. BFF goal or pre-finale energy??? #FindingStar #SoExtra
123 replies 99 retweets 400k hearts
Finding the show
@himuranarrateskillingme
RUBY: emotional promise
MEMCHO: tears in eyes
HIMURA (suddenly): “And in that moment… a vow was born.”
ME: WHY IS HE NARRATING A LIFETIME MOVIE #FindingStarEp6
321 replies 99 retweets 877 hearts
Eagle bird
@idolwatcher22
Himura becoming a narrator mid-scene is killing me. Sir you are a host not a drama director pls #FindingStar #ExtraHostMoments
14 replies 55 retweets 654 hearts
My name is drama🍵
@idoltea
Wait… so we’re now voting for someone to debut them AND ELIMINATE them?? That’s brutal. This ain’t Finding Star it’s Survivor: Idol Edition #FindingStarVote
78 replies 1k retweets 3.3k hearts
Sugar Snow Nixe
@burner
This “eliminate AND debut” system is INSANE.
222 replies 1.5k retweets 4k hearts
Reborn peaked
@memchowins
I’ll be real. Memcho’s been working her ass off. Anyone voting to eliminate her is HEARTLESS. #FindingStar #TeamMemcho
3 replies 16 retweets 288 hearts
Bae Sejun
@debutorbust
You’re telling me I can literally spend money to kick someone out?? That’s… dark. And lowkey genius. I hate how invested I already am. #FindingStarVote
12 replies 59 retweets 1k hearts
Mrs. Akiko
@akikofaves
Everyone’s talking about debut votes but we NEED to talk about how shady the elimination vote system is. This is just a cyberbully’s paradise waiting to happen. #FindingStar
44 replies 199 retweets 2.1k hearts
The stars for Kom
@starforruby
Ruby stans: time to dig deep into those wallets. If we don’t out-vote the haters, we’re toast. #DebutRuby #FindingStarEp6
42 replies 98 retweets 781 hearts
Clowning💬
@hunter
Them: “This is an uplifting idol show!”
Also them: “Please pay us to crush someone's dreams on live TV.”
#FindingStar #VotingSystemWho
76 replies 698 retweets 3.3k hearts
🥰🥰🥰
@traumawithprizes
first they give ‘em ramen and a washing machine, then they threaten them with public elimination. This show is chaotic. I love it here. #FindingStar #EmotionalWhiplash
3 replies 28 retweets 99 hearts
Dennis Zenn
@Vendet
Memcho crying while Ruby dramatically vows she’ll win, then the camera pans to Himura narrating like it's a sports anime. And y’all want me to pay to keep this chaos? TAKE MY MONEY. #FindingStarEp6
322 replies 998 retweets 2.3k hearts
Fan of the stars
@shinyidoldreamz
Can’t believe I just dropped ¥1500 to save a girl from elimination. What is this? The Hunger Games: Idol Edition? #FindingStar #CapitalismJumpedOut
100 replies 1.9k retweets 4k hearts
Bust buzz 💥
@debutorbust
You either die a cute idol or live long enough to be exploited by a pay to vote system. And yes, I will be paying. #FindingStar #CapitalistCrisis
322 replies 998 retweets 2.3k hearts
On Flare
@idoltrash1998:
Imagine crying on stage over a gift card only to find out the real twist is fans PAYING to vote you out. Peak capitalism. #FindingStar #VoteReveal
258 replies 598 retweets 2k hearts
HotFlames
@itrashar
Ruby is so overrated why does people hype her so much?
38 replies 448 retweets 888 hearts
|
Chibi mini
@animaxconductor
OMG SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT
19 replies 70 retweets 565 hearts
***
Finding the Start [Episode 6] Discussion
topfloorleeks
I was CACKLING when Ruby promised Memcho she'd win like she’s the chosen one in a fantasy anime. And then Himura just casually slipping into narrator mode?? This show is unhinged and I love it.
↟ 2.3k ↡ 💬 Reply
doughnutdegenerate
Can we talk about how they hyped up that ramen prize like it was a Michelin star? Lara looked like she was about to cry over noodles. I would’ve too, tbh.
↟ 1.7k ↡ 💬 Reply
cosmicslurpee
I get that idols need exposure and sponsors but that pay to vote twist??? That’s late stage capitalism with extra sparkles. We're literally buying their survival now.
↟ 1.9k ↡ 💬 Reply
softlighttrauma
Memcho said “I love B-Komachi” and then mentally shut down like she saw a ghost. That Challenger cover trauma really came back full force. Protect her at all costs.
↟ 2.1k ↡ 💬 Reply
gachajunkie
They used a guessing game to sneak in a product plug AND remind us that Yoshizumi and Ruby are big Bkomachi fans. Producers are really trying to hit us with nostalgia and guilt at the same time.
↟ 1.6k ↡ 💬 Reply
mushroomonmars
So the voting is either “please debut this girl” and “pay money to get the other girl OUT”? This isn’t a competition, it’s a battle royale in pastel lighting.
↟ 1.3k ↡ 💬 Reply
^
mushroomonmars
ALSO YESSS NO LARA ANYMORE
It'a kinda funny how so many things happened in this episode so Lara being out is in the back of everyone's mind.
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
alldolledup
So let me get this straight: we cry about appliances and instant noodles one minute, and the next we're paying to keep our faves from being eliminated?? What dystopian variety show did I just watch?
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
7amtoastburner
I hate the fact we're still going to follow this program’s system despite the real problems. you all are really buying into their "entertainment" survival show...
↟ 2.1k ↡ 💬 Reply
***
Kana grabs Ruby by the wrist and gently but firmly, drags her to one of the long tables where Adashino and Sarina are already seated. The fluorescent lights overhead give everything a soft haze, like the pause before a storm or maybe just another episode. Story of their life, honestly.
"You need to rest," Kana says, pushing Ruby into the empty seat beside her. "Seriously, Ruby. You keep forgetting to eat when you're handling all those arrangements for Star T Rain."
Ruby lets out a sheepish laugh, scratching the back of her head. "Yeah, yeah," she says, nodding. "You’re starting to sound like my mom, senpai."
But the moment the words leave her mouth, her smile falters.
Vaguely, Ruby hears Kana saying ‘don’t call me, senpai.’ But Ruby becomes far away as a memory reaches her. Again.
Mama, hunched over her notes, eyes flicking across pages as she mumbled lyrics to herself, completely absorbed in arranging a new song. At the same time, Aqua cooked lunch because Ai had forgotten it was even midday. Ruby used to find it funny, how someone so famous, so beloved, could be so careless with her own needs.
And Ruby used to think it was amusing how someone so dazzling could get so tunnel-visioned when she was in creative mode.
Now she sees it in herself.
The image of her mother slips into another—Ai’s death, the sound of the ambulance, the police blocking her mama’s body, the blood on Aqua’s face, and then the finality of it. Ruby swallows hard, forcing the bile back down her throat. No. Not now.
She wills herself to focus, to be present. She turns to Adashino and Sarina, who have been watching her quietly.
Sarina offers a hesitant smile. “Hi.”
Ruby meets her eyes, returns the greeting softly. “Hi.”
An awkward silence settles between them, stretched tight with unspoken things. The atmosphere shifts with stillness.
Adashino clears her throat, clearly trying to break the tension. “So... we’re covering Heart Kiss,” she says, and Ruby instantly recognizes the effort, an attempt to steer the mood away from whatever was just brewing.
… So do some of the contestants know that Ruby doesn't like Sarina? Because Kana and Adashino are not surprised with the way they try to uplift the mood.
Ruby feels herself grimace internally. She’s becoming more aware her dislike toward Sarina probably isn’t as hidden as she pretends around the people she’s constantly with. Hopefully, it stayed that way and hasn’t escaped from the cameras.
“We’re hoping the performance goes well,” Adashino continues. “And... that it doesn’t end up like Memcho’s team last time.”
Ruby winces at the memory. That performance had been hard to watch, something about it unraveling before their eyes, despite Memcho trying to hold it all together.
Still, she finds it curious. Ten teams, all performing songs from B-Komachi? It's bold. At first, it felt a bit strange, almost overkill, but she quickly brushes it off. B-Komachi is practically a legend.
“Talking about me?” Memcho’s voice rings out lightheartedly as she approaches the table with her signature sunny grin.
Adashino nods. “Just saying we don’t want to end up like that... you know. That stage.”
Memcho groans. “Ugh, don’t remind me. That’s exactly what I was scared of when we got Star T Rain. Like… Why me again?”
She and Adashino fall into a back-and-forth exchange, fast-paced and almost sisterly in tone. Kana chimes in every so often, her input easy and natural. Meanwhile, Sarina sits still, her expression mostly unreadable. A blank face, maybe, but she doesn’t seem uncomfortable. Just... quiet. Present.
Ruby watches her in silence.
Sarina’s face… It’s the same face Ruby once wore.
Not exactly—the jawline is a bit different, the nose slightly less delicate—but close enough. Sarina is sixteen. Ruby’s past self, as Sarina, died at twelve. Maybe this is who she would have grown into, had she lived.
But Ruby can’t be sure. In that other life, in that sterile hospital room, Sarina hated mirrors. She avoided them, hated the way her face had thinned, the way her body withered, the signs of death etched across her skin. The fear of watching herself disappear. So Ruby never got the full picture of what she might’ve looked like at sixteen.
Still, when she stares at Sarina now, a bitterness curls inside her. Is this the life she missed? Could she have grown into someone like this?
And if she had, would it have been worth it?
Sarina catches her staring. She smiles at her.
Ruby smiles back before looking away quickly, pretending to listen to Kana’s latest remark. But her mind races.
If sensei is watching this show, would he recognize Sarina’s face? Would he freeze, seeing a ghost flicker on the screen?
Would he see her?
The thought makes her stomach twist. A dark curiosity flickers inside her: maybe she could use that. Maybe one day, if a doctor ever reaches out, if someone wants to meet Sarina if she ever debuted, Ruby could step in. Smile. Say hello on behalf of her. Play the part.
But then a chill settles in her bones.
What if Gorou ever stood beside Sarina? What if he looked at that face—her face—next to this girl? What would he think? What would Ruby do?
She doesn’t know if she wants to know the answer.
And she’s not sure that’s the best scenario, either.
Shaking her head, Ruby thinks how unfair that was to Sarina, to place her frustration on the girl who has the same face as her previous life.
During the game, everything went fine with them. But then again, Ruby was more focused on winning, and protecting her pride as a B-Komachi fan.
She pulls herself back into the moment, locking the thoughts away behind her eyes. The others are still chatting, laughing now, and she pastes on a smile.
Always a smile.
“The food here is always delicious,” Kana says through a mouthful of rice, chewing with exaggerated appreciation.
“Right?” Sarina chimes in, a small smile tugging at her lips. “I’ll miss it once everything’s over.”
Kana nods solemnly, her gaze fixed on her plate like it’s the last supper. “I don’t want to leave any regrets so—” she sighs dramatically, setting her chopsticks down. “Goodbye.”
Memcho and Sarina exchange a confused glance. Adashino doesn’t even blink. She just keeps eating, as if this is routine.
Kana places a hand on the table, stroking the wood like it’s a beloved pet. “Always so clean… goodbye.”
Ruby blinks. “Um, senpai? What are you doing?”
“I’m saying goodbye to all the good things.” Kana lifts her eyes to the ceiling with theatrical melancholy.
Memcho tilts her head. “Wait… are you saying goodbye because you think you won’t make it?”
“I’m saying it because I know I won’t make it.”
Ruby and Sarina both frown. The conviction in Kana’s voice doesn’t match what they see in her. She’s talented—so much more than she gives herself credit for. But Kana just crosses her arms and huffs.
“I’m being realistic,” she insists.
Memcho opens her mouth to protest, but Adashino gently reaches over and stops her with a shake of the head.
“It’s no use,” Adashino says with a resigned sigh. “I already tried convincing her she’d make a great idol. She wouldn’t listen. Next thing I knew, she was saying goodbye to her bed, her pillow… even her cabinet.”
“It’s called acceptance,” Kana retorts. “I’m just believing the truth.”
Adashino shrugs in that ‘see what I mean?’ kind of way.
It’s comically funny, almost. But not in the way that makes someone laugh. Ruby watches Kana, trying to smile but something in her chest won’t let her. It’s a little too sad to be a joke, and a little too real to brush off.
Because the thing is, Kana is amazing. Sure, her performance back when she was with Yoshizumi wasn’t perfect. But people grow and skills can sharpen. Kana could shine, if only she saw herself the way others did.
Maybe Ruby can help her see that. Somehow.
She startles slightly at the thought. That’s the kind of thing mom would say. Or—worse—Ichigo Saitou. That familiar itch of inherited ambition creeps up her spine and she shivers, internally recoiling.
Yikes.
That’s what it’s like, she supposes, being the daughter of an idol agency CEO. Somewhere along the line, you start seeing potential the way managers do. Watching people grow becomes a highlight.
Especially when it's obvious Kana loves being on stage. Ruby will never forget the wide eye smile on Kana's face when Ruby watches their ‘Heroes on the sky’ performance cover on Youtube. It’s not like she could forget it even if she wants to, because for some reason, Ruby likes to repeat the scenes where Kana really shines.
She shakes her head, clearing the thought.
Kana taps her chopsticks against her bowl dramatically. “Goodbye, rice. You were soft. You were warm. I’ll never forget you.”
Memcho covers her face with her hands. “This is getting worse.”
Adashino sighs again, but she’s smiling this time. Ruby watches them all quietly.
She’s not sure how yet, but she is going to change Kana’s mind. Not because she’s Saitou’s daughter. Not because it’s her job.
But because Kana deserves to believe in herself just as much as everyone else does. Even if it takes a little stubbornness to get there.
“Can we go back to our previous topic?” Memcho pouts. “Kana asked a great question.”
Kana scratches the back of her hair and Ruby raises an eyebrow. She’s not listen earlier but the ‘Kana’ and ‘asking a question’ seemed important to her brain. It makes sense because Ruby wants to help Kana in any way.
Sarina tilts her head. “I just heard the producer doesn’t want to have lightsticks on stage, so there are no lightsticks every time we perform on stage.”
Ruby blinks in surprise.
Producer?
“That doesn’t make sense, doesn't?” Adashino snorts in amusement. “It’s an idol performance, so why hate the lightsticks? That’s basically part of becoming an idol.”
“Who is the producer anyway?” Kana curiously asks.
“No one knows.” Memcho says. “Whoever they are, they don’t know the first thing about being an idol.”
Sarina glances at her. “What do you think, Ruby?
Ruby is barely able to hide her smile but she does succeed as she clears her throat. “I kinda agree with Memcho there."
I’m so sorry, Kyun. But I do have to agree with them.
“I also heard a rumor that the producer and the executive producer are always fighting like cats and dogs.” Memcho suddenly exclaims. “Staff are willing to talk sometimes.”
The camera man who’s with them looks sheepish for a second.
Adashino sighs solemnly. “Why did the executive producer not push the idea of allowing lightsticks?”
Ruby has no idea but she hopes Kyun will not be watching this scene once the camera is done with them.
***
Kana knows it’s time to go.
Her agency is unusually quiet, but she isn’t surprised. They don’t really care what happens next. If she’s out of the program, it’s fine, they already got public exposure from her. If she makes her debut—which is an impossible scenario—They can profit off it before pulling her back once the group’s contract ends.
So she shouldn’t be sad about it.
Really, she shouldn’t.
She steps out of her room, grabbing her phone—the one she forgot to bring to practice earlier—and nearly bumps into Sarina in the hallway.
Sarina beams at her, falling intostep beside her.
“Did you forget something?” Sarina asks.Kana nods. “Yeah. My phone. You?”
“I stayed in my room a little while,” Sarina says with a sheepish shrug. “I like having some privacy sometimes. The cameras get suffocating.”
Right. This is still a show, after all. Cameras everywhere which means eyes everywhere.
They walk slowly, quietly, enjoying the rare moment without lenses watching their every move.
Walking together side by side, it feels nice. Kana is not even denying the fact there’s no way she has friends, she actually likes having friends considering the fact Adashino and Sarina forced their way in. And then there’s Ruby and Memcho. It’s nice to have someone to rely on. She smiles as she mulls over this.
Sarina stops walking. Kana halts beside her, puzzled.
“Are you really giving up on trying to debut?” Sarina asks softly.
Kana blinked in surprise, for Sarina to ask this suddenly…
Wait, there are no cameras here, and by the furrowed brow on Sarina’s face, she’s just worried. Thinking about it, this is the perfect place to ask this.
No cameras. Just two girls and the silence between them.
“I’m not giving up. I’m just being realistic. I know I won’t make it.” Kana starts.
“Why?”
Kana hesitates. But what’s the point in holding back now?
“It’s just—” her shoulders slump. “I never wanted to be an idol. My agency forced me into it… said it’d be good for public exposure.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh.” Kana grimaces, bitterly amused. “So how do you do it? I remember you said your mom basically forced you to be an idol.”
Sarina crosses her arms, wearing a small, bittersweet smile.
“I’m trying to like it,” she says. “I don’t hate it, so… I figure I might as well try.”
“But don’t you have something else you love?” Kana asks, her voice quieter now. “Something you’d rather be doing?”
If Kana were in Sarina’s place… she doesn’t know what she’d feel. Probably confused. Maybe angry. Especially since acting is what Kana truly loves.
Sarina glances away, then chuckles softly.
“Actually… I don’t really have any big passion or ambition. So it’s easy for me to accept things the way they are.”
Ah.
Kana lowers her gaze to her feet.
She’s glad her friend is coping. She really is. But somehow… that makes her feel worse.
“Sorry,” Sarina says, and Kana looks up, startled.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t think that helps your situation.”
Kana presses her lips together, then gives a small, reluctant nod.
Sarina reaches out and gently places a hand on her head, and Kana blinks.
She forgets sometimes that Sarina is two years older. Kana’s always the one taking the lead in conversations. During the Lara situation, it was her—and Adashino—who comforted Sarina when she cried.
But here, in this quiet moment, Sarina feels every bit like the older one.
“I can’t tell you what to do,” she says, pulling her hand away. “But if you ever need to rant, I’m here. You can lean on me.”
Kana smiles.
It’s small, but it’s real. And somehow, it helps.
“Thanks,” she murmurs.
They continue walking side by side, wrapped in a gentle, companionable silence.
And for now… that’s enough.
“Oh by the way, do you know why Ruby doesn't like you?”
“I also don't know.”
Kana glances at her. “Does it bother you?”
“Not really.” Sarina shrugs. “It also helps that she's really trying to be accommodating to me in her own way.”
Whatever weird relationship Sarina and Ruby have, if it doesn't harm any of them, Kana is going to interject any time soon.
She’s only figuring out this friendship thing, so Adashino or Memcho might do the job to interfere between the two girls if something bad happens.
***
“I think we should take a break,” Memcho cuts in, stepping between Ruby and Kana mid-practice.
Ruby blinks. “Huh? Why?”
Kana is confused too. They’ve been hitting their marks. Practice has been going smoothly, better than usual. Why stop now?
“Because Kana’s voice is part of the backbone in this performance,” Memcho says gently, glancing at Kana, then back at Ruby. “And if she pushes too hard now, her throat might not hold up for the actual show.”
Ruby facepalms. “Crap. Misako would’ve killed me if she were watching right now.” She turns to Kana, eyes wide with guilt. “I’m sorry, senpai.”
“It’s fine,” Kana says with a small shake of her head. Normally, she’d insist on running it again, on doing better. But she knows Memcho is right. Her voice is needed, especially with the vocal character work required for this number. The high notes, the emotion, and overexerting now would be a mistake.
The three of them settle down in a quiet corner of the practice room. Memcho passes out two bottles of water. Kana takes hers with a nod of thanks.
Ruby sighs as she drinks, deep in thought. At the same time, Kana is massaging her throat after she finishes drinking.
“Ah, wait. There we only have two bottles in here,” Memcho realizes. “I’ll go run to the cafeteria for another one.”
“Go ahead, Mem,” Ruby says with a wave. Memcho skips out the door, leaving Kana and Ruby alone.
The silence sits between them, comfortable but curious. Kana steals a glance at Ruby. Something about her face is…it’s oddly familiar. Not just in the we’ve-practiced-together-for-weeks way, but in a way that tugs at Kana’s memory.
Then she remembers: Ruby has a twin. Aqua. Kana’s seen him plenty of times on screen with his sharp, focused expressions in dramas and films. For a moment, she wonders if she’s just projecting Aqua’s face onto Ruby’s.
Stupid, Kana thinks. Of course she looks familiar, Ruby is his sister. That’s all.
Ruby suddenly breaks the silence. “Are you really going to give up that easily?”
Kana blinks, caught off guard. “What?”
“Debuting,” Ruby says, turning toward her. “Are you really ready to give that up?”
Kana exhales slowly. Why does everyone keep asking me that? And of all places to bring it up—in a room with cameras still running?
But it doesn’t matter. No matter what Kana says here, her fate’s probably sealed. The audience likely isn’t voting her in. She just needs to protect her image until the end.
“I already know my worth, Ruby,” Kana says flatly. “I don’t have what it takes to be an idol.”
“That’s not true,” Ruby says immediately, frowning. “Out of everyone here, you’re great at singing.”
“Please.” Kana rolls her eyes. “You’re forgetting Sarina. Or Yoshizumi.”
Ruby tilts her head. “Do you really believe they’re better than you?”
“What’s there to believe? It’s just true.”
“Ah, so you do believe it.” Ruby groans. “Alright, fine—Let me explain this in a way that even you can’t deny.”
Kana raises an eyebrow at the sarcasm, but Ruby’s already standing, arms crossed like she’s preparing a lecture.
“Let’s start with Yoshizumi. Sure, she’s got vocal control. But it’s a very specific range. Nasally and cute, and that’s her lane. She’s great in it, yeah, but it’s not versatile.”
Kana thinks about that. It’s true… Yoshizumi has always leaned into the ‘idol voice’ aesthetic.
“It fits the industry,” Kana says. “That’s the kind of tone I always hear from professionals.”
“Exactly,” Ruby says, stepping closer. “That’s the idol standard, but that’s not the only kind of good. Your voice? It’s different. It has strength and when you sing, it’s not just cute or polished, it’s alive.”
Kana blinks. Her throat feels dry, and not just from practice. Compliments like this… they’re rare. She doesn’t even remember the last time someone praised her voice like that. Maybe her not-actually-vocal-coach, before all this idol stuff started.
Ruby presses on. “Sarina’s vocals are good. It's airy, clean, well-supported but they don’t have the same bite as yours do. You hit emotions straight on. You pull people in.”
She looks away. “Just because I can do high notes—”
“No!” Ruby throws her hands up in frustration. “It’s not about the high notes. You have range, Kana. That’s what people don’t realize. Not just notes, but emotional and stylistic range. You’re the kind of singer who can adapt and has polish vocals.”
“Really?” Kana stares at her.
Ruby meets her gaze and nods without hesitation. “Really.”
Kana looks down, hugging her knees to her chest, trying not to let the overwhelming warmth show too much on her face. “Alright, I’ll bite. Why are you trying so hard to convince me not to quit?”
“Because I think… you like being an idol.” Ruby smiles.
She blinks again. She’s heard that before. From others. But—
“How can you tell?” she asks, wary.
“Because I saw you,” Ruby says softly. “Well actually watching the YouTube video of us—Back when we first performed together. You were happy. Like, really happy.”
Ah. That performance. Kana remembers it too well. The rush of energy, the lights, the fans’ cheers. But still…
“That was just adrenaline,” Kana mutters. “Anyone would feel that after a successful stage.”
“Exactly!” Ruby kneels in front of her now, animated. “That’s what being an idol is all about! That rush. That payoff after all the hard work. When you make your fans scream and cheer—that’s the idol’s reward.”
Kana frowns. It sounds nice and all but…
Ruby sighs, then softens. “If you still don’t get it, then do this for me: during our Star T Rain performance, give it everything you’ve got. Dance with all your heart. Sing like it’s your last time. Enjoy it. And then… just let the fans’ happiness wash over you.”
“Huh?” Kana blinks. “Why would I—?”
“Just trust me,” Ruby says, eyes earnest. “Do that. And I swear, you’ll understand.”
Kana stares at her, then sighs in resignation. “Alright. I promise.”
Ruby beams at her.
It's not like Kana will lose something if she actually did try what Ruby tells her to do.
Right on cue, Memcho bursts through the door with her usual cheerful skip and a water bottle in hand.
“Sorry I took forever!” she grins. “The cafeteria was repacking when I got there.”
Kana and Ruby perk up.
“And,” Memcho adds, eyes sparkling, “I heard there’s going to be meat at dinner.”
“Really?” Both of them exclaim in unison.
Memcho laughs. “Well… maybe. I might’ve misheard the staff. So don’t get your hopes up too much.”
Kana and Ruby give her a look that’s somewhere between hopeful and betrayed. Memcho giggles.
Later, when dinner is served, there is meat. And it’s delicious.
For now, things feel lighter.
Kana shouldn't have spoken too early.
***
Finding Star [Episode 7] Discussion
doughnutdegenerate
Is Kana having doubts about being an idol? She's AMAZING.
But anyway, Kana and Ruby’s friendship for life.
↟ 2k ↡ 💬 Reply
^
Jessica_Cheboy
tbh I would've doubted myself too if my past performance is not excelling
↟ 1.2k ↡ 💬 Reply
InternetStreamers_fans
Everytime I look at Ruby's face, I get irritated
↟ 1.8k ↡ 💬 Reply
^
Shit for braind
Huh? Did something happen?
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
^
InternetStreamers_fans
Search Ruby being a bully. It's been trending right now.
↟ 899 ↡ 💬 Reply
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Shit for braind
WHAT. RUBY IS A BULLY?!?!
↟ 1k ↡ 💬 Reply
TStar Hoshi
After finding out Ruby is a former bully I can't look at her the same way I did before
↟ 801 ↡ 💬 Reply
***
AiStan
@Ai_Imafan
So apparently Ruby from Finding Star used to bully a girl back in elementary?? The girl just posted yearbook pics + an injury photo from that time. Says it’s “hard to watch someone get everything after what she did to me.”
[attached screenshots]
150 replies 2k retweets 10k hearts
***
[anonymouspost]
2 hours ago
Ruby bullied me in elementary.
I never wanted to say this before because I didn’t want drama, but I can’t watch her succeed and smile while I’m still dealing with what she did to me. We were in the same school, same grade, back when we were 10-11 years old. I’ve got the pictures to prove it (yearbooks, class photos) and even a photo of the injury she caused.
It’s hard to explain how it feels to see someone like her get everything she wants when she was the one who made my life miserable. She wasn’t just mean; she crossed the line.
Maybe people think it was just kids being kids. But it wasn’t. It was bullying. And it left scars.
I’m posting this because people need to know the truth behind the image she shows to the world.
[Attached pictures of the injury Ruby caused]
[Attached pictures of class photos and year books]
#notjustanidol #bullyingawareness #truthcomesout #highschooldrama
Notes:
Kana steals a glance at Ruby. Something about her face is…it’s oddly familiar. Not just in the we’ve-practiced-together-for-weeks way, but in a way that tugs at Kana’s memory.
Then she remembers: Ruby has a twin. Aqua. Kana’s seen him plenty of times on screen with his sharp, focused expressions in dramas and films. For a moment, she wonders if she’s just projecting Aqua’s face onto Ruby’s.
Stupid, Kana thinks. Of course she looks familiar, Ruby is his sister. That’s all.
If it's not obvious, Kana was actually seeing Ai in here but chalked it up seeing Aqua.
(Comments are always appreciated!)
Edit: I just watched Kpop Demon Hunters, and now I think Kana's voice has the potential to be like Rumi's. Just a headcanon of mine in this fic.
Chapter 31: Book 2: Bullying scandal
Summary:
Kana knocks gently on the door.
“Ruby?”
No response.
She glances at Memcho, who stands beside her, arms crossed, brows furrowed with concern.
“What should we do?” Kana asks, her voice low.
Memcho sighs, her lips pressing into a thin line. “Maybe… give her some space?”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Sakura Chu
@sakurachiffon
i’m shaking. the way ruby’s fans always painted her as some sweet innocent being but this?? this is dark.
67 replies 332 retweets 655 hearts
CarpentSav
@popgirlarchive
why do idols always have hidden mean girl energy. this ruby situation is giving major deja vu
76 replies 300 retweets 775 hearts
I AM THE TEA
@idoltee
ngl the injury pic is really unsettling. even if they were kids, that's not just "playground stuff." ruby needs to address this.
51 replies 43 retweets 222 hearts
❤️HoshiRuby
@rubyslipperdefense
not y’all believing everything on the internet again. how do you know the pic wasn’t from someone else? context? timestamps? hello??
56 replies 599 retweets 342 hearts
😇🌿🦋
@tokyoAndStardramas
whether it’s true or not, this is gonna haunt ruby’s image for weeks.
109 replies 766 retweets 1k hearts
Ai the bunny 🐇
@bunnysorrows
i used to really love ruby… watched every episode for her. but after seeing that post, i honestly don’t know how to feel anymore. i can’t support someone who hurt others and never owned up to it.
81 replies 554 retweets 1.1k hearts
Three hours later
@tapiokahour
unfollowing ruby. i don’t care if it was “years ago.” some things don’t fade with time. bullying scars people permanently.
193 replies 444 retweets 1k hearts
🌸 Cherry lips 🍒
@glosscherrykill
hate to say it but ruby always gave me off vibes… people called it “awkward” or “shy” but now it just feels fake. maybe the real her finally slipped through.
111 replies 77 retweets 999 hearts
fight for MY way
@kdramagatekeeper
girl got caught and still hasn’t said a word. radio silence just proves she’s guilty. how do u sleep knowing u caused someone real trauma?
200 replies 888 retweets 2k hearts
🌟🌟🌟🌟
@glowruki
bullying isn’t some quirky past mistake. it ruins lives. i don’t care how good ruby dance, she’s done for me.
4 replies 40 retweets 400 hearts
Sequin blood
@sequinblood
everyone crying over ruby’s “career being ruined” like the girl who got bullied didn’t have to live with that trauma for YEARS. wake up.
3 replies 5 retweets 50 hearts
Puffz
@shokopuffz
Was really rooting for Ruby this season, but finding out she bullied someone and never apologized? Nah. The industry keeps rewarding the wrong people.
70 replies 211 retweets 522 hearts
Expose the truth
@idolvomit
Ruby being exposed as a school bully makes way too much sense. Pretty girl, always praised, and now we see the ego behind it. I’m sick.
30 replies 299 retweets 1k hearts
Bitter the biter
@bittermatcha
it's always the “smiley sweet girls” that turn out to be the meanest. ruby really fooled all of us huh
3 replies 22 retweets 555 hearts
Still awake🛏️
@4amwhispers
that poor girl said it still hurts to see ruby smile on stage. and y’all want me to keep cheering for her? be serious.
22 replies 123 retweets 440 hearts
Trash tasted it
@glimmertrash
funny how fast people forget that idols are human. and sometimes humans are just plain cruel. ruby doesn’t deserve a stage if she can’t even apologize.
9 replies 49 retweets 777 hearts
JKpop simp
@chokeblossom
watching ruby pretend to be sweet and soft-spoken on TV knowing she used to bully a classmate to the point of injury… i feel physically sick.
0 replies 2 retweets 99 hearts
Tsukishima Yui
@yukistears
no comeback or performance can erase the fact that ruby left someone traumatized. she doesn’t get a redemption arc just because she’s talented.
500 replies 1.1k retweets 2k hearts
🔥🔥🔥
@starlightboil
y’all keep saying “it was years ago” but where’s the growth if ruby never addressed it? no accountability, no support from me.
10 replies 22 retweets 555 hearts
POPcorn
@popcoreburn
this isn’t just “cancel culture.” this is someone coming forward about pain that’s haunted them for years. ruby fans can cry about it all they want, we believe victims here.
4 replies 33 retweets 222 hearts
Adashino FW
@idoldownfall
If you’re still voting for Ruby after everything, you’re part of the problem. Don’t let bullies win. #DropRuby
10 replies 401 retweets 812 hearts
MainTrip
@traumatokki
i wasn’t gonna vote this week but i just used all my votes to make sure ruby gets eliminated. let’s end this.
50 replies 677 retweets 1k hearts
TartStar
@stargirlfallin
there are plenty of talented trainees who aren’t bullies. vote them. stop supporting ruby. it’s literally that simple.
7 replies 188 retweets 306 hearts
FindingStarFan
@vote4healing
instead of arguing with ruby stans, just vote her down. silence speaks loudest. #VoteToEliminate
17 replies 232 retweets 880 hearts
Sarah Mein
@bobaheartsick
all 5 of my votes this week went to ruby’s elimination. actions have consequences.
92 replies 700 retweets 3k hearts
ThePopCult
@idolburner
don't let the show rig it. if they won't remove ruby, we will. vote her OUT.
21 replies 62 retweets 599 hearts
SarinaMymain
@cutekills
watching her smile on camera after being exposed makes my skin crawl. i’m voting for her elimination out of pure principle.
14 replies 29 retweets 600 hearts
arisu
@no2bullies
if the show keeps ruby after this, it’ll send a message that bullying victims don’t matter. VOTE HER OFF.
1 replies 10 retweets 697 hearts
✊✊✊
@starpowdered
y’all voted off girls for singing off-key but ruby gets to stay after hurting someone? let’s change that.
4 replies 31 retweets 355 hearts
Adashino FW
@idoldownfall
Guys, why did the OP who made allegations about Ruby has been deleted.
256 replies 1.2k retweets 3k hearts
|
Tsukishima
@tsuki_cafe
poor girl got scared. ruby’s family got multiple connections after all.
9 replies 231 retweets 1k hearts
***
Kana knocks gently on the door.
“Ruby?”
No response.
She glances at Memcho, who stands beside her, arms crossed, brows furrowed with concern.
“What should we do?” Kana asks, her voice low.
Memcho sighs, her lips pressing into a thin line. “Maybe… give her some space?”
Kana shakes her head almost immediately. “No. From my experience with internet hate, it eats at you the moment you're alone. I can’t do that to her. Not right now.”
“But if she doesn’t want us here—” Memcho begins, hesitating. “We can’t force her.”
Kana doesn’t reply right away. She can see that and Memcho’s worried too, even if Kana doesn’t know how to act on it. The silence behind Ruby’s door feels like a warning sign. Not anger. Not annoyance. Just... nothing. And somehow, that feels worse.
Earlier that morning, Kana had woken to Adashino quietly informing her of the storm online. The trending hashtags, the photos, and the accusations. Ruby’s name plastered across feeds with the word bully next to it.
It made Kana’s stomach turn.
Now she’s here. And Adashino isn’t—which Kana understands. Adashino has always liked Ruby but never fully trusted her, especially with the tension between Ruby and Sarina. Kana gets it. Sarina is their friend. Add to that, Adashino can’t risk her career to be seen talking to someone who’s been burned by the internet. Adashino’s position in Ruby’s life... is quite complicated.
But even if Adashino’s sitting this one out, Kana can’t.
Because as much as Sarina is Kana's friend, Ruby is also Kana's.
She stares at the door, watching the muted grain of the wood as her thoughts race. The camera crew that had been trailing them quietly retreats, their footsteps fading down the hall. It's clear to them Ruby isn’t going to open the door; no confrontation, no tears, no made-for-TV moment. Just silence, and that means no drama means no footage worth airing.
And still… nothing. No sound from the other side. No ‘go away.’ No ‘leave me alone.’ Just a quiet that feels too heavy to ignore.
Which is why Kana stays.
Months ago, when she first joined Finding Star, Kana wouldn’t have done this. She wouldn’t have knocked and she wouldn’t have cared. Kana would’ve let the drama pass her by like a wave, because she was smart enough not to drown in.
But she’s changed. And she’s not going to let Ruby suffer alone without at least trying to understand.
So she makes a decision.
She lifts her voice, loud and firm. “Ruby! If you don’t open this door, I’m breaking it down!”
“What?!” Memcho gasps, eyes widening. “Are you serious?”
Kana doesn’t look away. “I’ve got enough money to pay for a broken door.”
“That’s not the point!”
But Kana’s not listening anymore. Her focus is fixed.
“I’m going to count to three!” she calls out. “And I will bring a chair or something just to break this door down!”
Another silence.
“One!”
Nothing.
“Two!”
Still no movement.
“You know what?! Fine. I’ll be right back and grab—”
Then the sound of the click is heard. The door opens.
Both Kana and Memcho freeze, their words caught in their throats.
Ruby stands there.
She looks wrecked. Dark circles haunt her eyes, which are puffy and rimmed in red. Her face is pale, lips chapped. She says nothing. Doesn’t meet their eyes. Just steps aside.
Wordlessly, she lets them in.
Memcho is the first to move. She grabs Kana’s wrist, tugging her forward, and the two enter Ruby’s room without saying a word.
And then Memcho reaches back and shuts the door firmly behind them. She locks it too, ensuring the camera crew won’t intrude.
Inside, the room is dim, because the curtains are drawn.
Ruby walks away from them to sit motionless on the edge of her bed while Kana and Memcho hover awkwardly in the room, not quite sure what to do with themselves. The silence is thick, the kind that clings to the walls and makes the air hard to breathe.
Now that Kana’s here—despite all her stubborn resolve—she’s not sure what to say. Her naturally blunt demeanor feels like the wrong fit for a moment this fragile. So she keeps her mouth shut, silently rehearsing a dozen lines in her head, all of which sound clumsy or cold.
Thankfully, it’s Memcho who breaks the silence.
“Ruby—”
“I can’t tell you anything,” Ruby interrupts softly, her voice barely above a whisper.
Kana freezes. Memcho’s shoulders go still. Neither of them speak, sensing there’s more coming if they just stay quiet long enough.
Ruby stares at the floor as her fingers twist in her lap. “It’s not my story to tell… But those photos… they weren’t what people think. I was defending someone.”
It sounds like an excuse. The kind of half-hearted line PR agents coach someone to say, and Kana met numerous of them. But Kana sees the way Ruby won’t meet their eyes, how her voice trembles even as she tries to sound steady. That’s not guilt—that’s fear. That's a pain.
And Kana believes her. Maybe it’s foolish. Maybe it’s naive. But she knows in her gut Ruby isn’t lying.
“Then I believe you,” Kana says.
Ruby’s head snaps up. Her eyes are wide, stunned, as if she never imagined someone might still choose her.
“You do?” she breathes, a flicker of hope lighting in her eyes like a match.
Kana gives her a sad smile, heart aching. That flicker of hope in her eyes proves Ruby’s telling the truth.
She kneels in front of Ruby and gently reaches for her hand. Ruby lets her, not pulling away. A moment later, Memcho joins them, placing her hand on top of theirs.
Ruby’s face crumples. Her lips tremble as her eyes fill with tears, and then she throws her arms around both of them in a fierce, desperate hug.
“I know the internet can be awful,” she chokes. “I really do know. But it’s… it’s different when it feels like the whole world is against you.”
Kana wraps her arms around Ruby and rubs her back. “I know,” she whispers.
And she does. Kana remembers the vitriol, the memes, the laughing faces online when Sakura Card Captor flopped and everyone blamed her. Once hailed a child prodigy, then written off as a washed-up failure before she even turned to a whole fledged teenager.
“I can’t let my career end like this, Kana,” Ruby sobs. “I love being an idol. But my reputation—it's ruined. I don’t know what to do.”
Kana closes her eyes, trying to push aside her own flashbacks of being discarded by the industry. This isn’t about her. Not now.
So she doesn’t say anything. She just holds Ruby as the girl cries harder, louder, messier. Because sometimes words fall short. Sometimes the only thing that helps is knowing someone’s still here.
Ruby talks and talks even if the words are barely coherent anymore as Ruby murmurs it on Kana’s shoulder. Then, her voice goes hoarse and her tears slow. When she finally pulls away, she sniffles and wipes at her eyes.
And then Ruby says it.
“I’m going to quit the survival show.”
Memcho jolts. “What?”
“Why?” Kana asks, alarmed.
Ruby stands and begins pacing like a wind-up toy set loose, words tumbling out faster and faster. “If I stay, Finding Star’s reputation tanks with me. People will say the show protects bullies. And the others—if they’re seen being friendly with me, even after debuting, they’ll get dragged down too. Hell, I would be luck if I’ll ever be able to debut here, especially when the staff here treated me like their golden child, but now this… issue is out of the way?! Impossible!”
“Ruby—” Kana starts, but Ruby barrels on.
“If I leave quickly, maybe—maybe—I can salvage something. Start over. But if I stay, I just bring everyone down.”
“Ruby,” Memcho says sharply, stepping forward.
Ruby’s voice is breathless now, like she’s just run up a flight of stairs. Her hands tremble. She’s spiraling.
“Breathe,” Memcho says gently, reaching out. “C’mon, breathe with me.”
Ruby does as she’s told, inhaling deeply, shakily, then again, slower. When she finally exhales, some of the tension drains from her shoulders.
She gives Memcho a small smile but it's wobbly, fragile, and it feels like Ruby shouldn't be wearing it.
“Thank you.”
“No need,” Memcho replies.
Kana watches them, heart heavy. It feels like she should be doing more, saying more. So she steadies herself, draws in a breath, and speaks.
“Ruby,” she calls gently.
Ruby turns to her, eyes tired and glassy.
“Wait a few more days before deciding to leave this place.”
“But—”
“You once told me I needed to feel like an idol before deciding if I wanted to become one.”
“You can still do that without me—”
“I’m trying to say,” Kana interrupts, her tone sharp, “I’ve decided to give it a real shot. To see if I can love being an idol. But I need you to be on my side when that happens.”
Ruby’s breath hitches. “Staying here could be risky—for all of us.”
“And leaving guarantees nothing,” Kana replies. “Staying might at least give you a chance to fix your reputation.”
Both Ruby and Memcho blink at her, confused.
“Sometimes,” Kana continues, “these stories turn around. Maybe someone else will come forward. Maybe the truth will come out. Or maybe it doesn’t. But at least you’ll know you didn’t run before giving yourself a chance.”
Ruby bites her lip, doubt clouding her face.
“I know it’s a gamble,” Kana says quietly. “Fifty-fifty. But at least try to make your decision with a clear head. Not while you’re overwhelmed.”
For a moment, Ruby just stares at her. Then, slowly, her shoulders sag, the fight draining from her.
“…Okay,” she whispers.
Relief softens the room. Memcho and Kana both smile at her.
“You haven’t eaten, have you?” Memcho asks gently.
“It’s fine,” Ruby murmurs. “Please… just stay.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes—”
At that moment, Ruby’s stomach growls.
She turns bright red. “You two did not hear anything.”
Kana snorts. “I’ll go grab something.”
Ruby opens her mouth like she wants to protest but stops herself, instead mumbling, “Thank you.”
Kana turns to smile at her wide, more relieved and happy the conversation turns this way
And Ruby suddenly froze out of nowhere.
Her confusion grows when she sees Ruby’s cheeks flush a deeper red as she stares at Kana, eyes wide and startled. Then, Ruby looks away.
Is something in her face? Kana is about to ask Memcho but something stops her as Memcho keeps throwing a glance at Ruby with a glint of undecipherable feeling in there. When Memcho finally looks at Kana, her feet are already halfway to the door and Memcho gives her a subtle nod, a silent message: I’ve got her. Go ahead.
She frowns a little at their reaction but brushes it off.
Kana heads out toward the cafeteria, leaving the two behind. But her mind lingers on that stunned look Ruby gave her. Strange. Unfamiliar…
She shakes her head.
Now’s not the time to wonder about things like that.
***
After Memcho and Kana leave with all of their stomachs full, Ruby finally forces herself to check her phone.
Dozens of missed calls light up her screen—family, friends, even Aqua. The guilt presses down on her chest like a weight she can’t shrug off. Her eyes linger on the repeated calls from her mom.
Why the hell did that bitch release a post about Ruby bullying her? Does that girl not know what NDA means?
When the scandal first broke, she’d turned on Do Not Disturb and thrown herself into Twitter and Reddit. Against her better judgment, she kept scrolling, reading every hateful comment, every rumor, every speculation about her.
With a trembling sigh, she presses the call button. It rings once.
“Ruby? Ruby—are you okay?” her mom answers instantly, panic sharp in her voice.
Hearing her mother makes her throat close up. The tears come back, stinging her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Ruby whispers.
“Why are you apologizing?” Miyako’s tone softens immediately. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“But I’m dragging you into this... and Strawberry Production, too. It’s all a mess because of me.”
“Oh, shush,” Miyako says gently but firmly. “I’d burn Strawberry Production to the ground before I ever turn my back on you.”
That breaks Ruby a little more. She sniffles, trying to breathe through the weight in her chest. Strawberry Production is thriving with Aqua’s success and mom’s management.. And yet here she is, falling apart, jeopardizing everything.
“If you want to come home, you can,” Miyako says softly. “Right now, today. Just say the word.”
Ruby shakes her head before remembering her mom can’t see her. “Kana told me to wait a few days. Maybe the truth will come out, she said.”
“A smart girl,” Miyako murmurs. “She’s right.”
“But...” Ruby’s voice wavers. “I don’t think I’m ready to leave this show. Not yet.”
A pause, then a sigh from Miyako. “Oh, Ruby.”
“I still want to be an idol, Mom,” she says, and the words crack as they come out. “Even after all this. I still love it.”
There’s a sharpness in Miyako’s voice when she responds. “Then listen to me, Ruby. No matter what happens, you always have a place with me.”
“I know, but—”
“And that means,” Miyako cuts in, “if this doesn’t work out, we’ll start again. At Strawberry Production.”
“No!” Ruby says quickly. “You don’t need to do that. You’re already doing so well without idol stuff—”
“I don’t care,” Miyako says, steady and unwavering. “If this is what you want, we’ll make it happen. I was ready to do it before you joined Finding Star, remember?”
Ruby does remember.
Back then, she didn’t fully trust her mom—not with Aqua in the picture. Miyako always seemed to take him more seriously, always deferring to his plans. Ruby didn’t want to risk being talked out of her dream.
So when the call came late one night inviting her to Finding Star, she left for Japan without hesitation but not before convincing Miyako to do so; she does need a guardian.
And now she’s here, broken by scandal and unsure if she ruined things for everyone.
“I’m not taking no for an answer,” Miyako continues. “And no matter how messy things get, we’ll make it through. You will become an idol, Ruby. I promise.”
Despite how wrong everything feels, Ruby wants—needs—to believe her.
“Okay,” she breathes.
There’s a beat of silence, then Miyako asks, “Did Aqua reach you?”
“He did. I... didn’t call him back,” Ruby admits. “Why?”
“He’s not answering my calls or messages. It’s strange.”
Ruby frowns. Aqua has the time to call his own sister but not their mom? What is he doing?
Something’s off. If she didn’t know better, she’d say Aqua is up to something.
But Miyako’s voice cuts in again, gentle this time. “Are you eating, sweetheart? You need to take care of yourself.”
Ruby blinks. Her lips lift slightly before she even realizes it—her first real smile in days.
“Kana and Memcho made me eat. I’m okay right now, Mom.”
And she means it. For the first time since she woke up this morning, she really means it.
She doesn’t want to think about Aqua or the internet or the future. Not right now.
Right now, she just listens to her mother’s voice.
***
When Ruby decides to stay, the showrunners don’t even bother hiding their disappointment. She doesn’t need to hear anything. They make it perfectly clear with every cold glance and clipped word: They’re going to paint her as the villain in the next episode.
Still, staying means practice. So Ruby, Memcho, and Kana throw themselves into rehearsals, perfecting their routine even if they know the performance might never see the light of day. At least, not with all three of them on stage.
They all understand that Ruby might step down before the actual show. Kana and Memcho were against the idea at first, but eventually, they came to accept it. So now, during practice, they sometimes rehearse versions of the performance without Ruby in them. Just in case.
When Ruby eats alone on the table, she tries her best to ignore the stares. Everyone looks at her like she’s radioactive. One time, Kana tried to follow her into the cafeteria, but Ruby quickly pulled her aside, her voice low and firm.
“Senpai, don’t follow me. If people see you, they’ll think you’re best friends with a bully.”
Kana tried to argue, her brows furrowed in frustration. But Ruby didn’t budge.
“This is something I need to do—for me. And for both of you.”
Eventually, Kana gave in. Ruby still remembers how it felt to watch her walk away, shoulders tense, expression conflicted. It made something twist in Ruby’s chest.
Oh, and there’s another… thing. Whenever she’s around Kana, Ruby gets this weird fluttery feeling in her stomach. Sometimes she’s nervous. Other times she feels oddly excited or… giddy? She doesn’t know what it means, so she brushes it off.
Right now, they’re in the middle of practice. Memcho and Kana are going over their choreography, while Ruby watches closely, guiding them through the steps and offering feedback.
The room is quiet other than the footsteps of their dance or the beat. Ruby thinks maybe she’s finally made peace with everything. She’s proud of what they’ve done together, and even if she ends up leaving, she’ll carry these memories with her.
She’s already imagining how she’ll cry when it’s time to go home.
Even with everything that’s happened, this show—these people—did make her happy.
And that’s when the door suddenly bursts open.
If it weren’t for the way Sarina is obviously panting as if she’s out of breath. Ruby would’ve thought she’s calmly walking into the room based on the blank face she usually wears.
“Hoshino Aqua is holding a press conference about what’s happening to you, Ruby,” Sarina exclaims, waving her phone like a lifeline.
“What?” Ruby nearly shouts, her heart leaping into her throat. She rushes over, snatching the phone from Sarina’s hands.
Sure enough, Aqua is standing at a podium, surrounded by a sea of flashing cameras and reporters. The banner behind him reads Emergency Press Conference. Hoshino Aqua, Strawberry Productions.
Ruby doesn’t even notice Kana and Memcho inching closer until the soft scent of Kana’s strawberry perfume hits her.
She clears her throat and decides to stare at the screen, this is more important.
Aqua looks calm—too calm—for a 13-year-old boy under this much pressure. He’s dressed in a simple suit, eyes sharp, and voice controllable. But it’s what Ruby expected her brother to be in a situation like this.
“Thank you for coming today,” Aqua begins, bowing slightly. “I’d like to address the recent controversy surrounding my sister, Hoshino Ruby.”
Ruby’s breath catches. Sure, Sarina already mentioned it but it’s still unexpected for her brother to say that. The last time they really talked, Aqua disapproved of Ruby’s dream.
“There have been damaging allegations circulating online. I expected Ruby to remain silent, not because she is guilty, but because I asked her to. I made her promise not to speak.”
Memcho shoots Ruby a surprised glance. Kana furrows her brows, and even Sarina’s ever-neutral expression cracks with concern. But Ruby says nothing.
“I understand how suspicious that may look,” Aqua continues, adjusting the microphone. “But I’d like to share the full picture—something the original post failed to include, intentionally or otherwise.”
A reporter stands and asks, “Can you elaborate on what you mean by the full picture?”
Aqua nods. “The individual who posted that image is not a victim. They are, in fact, one of several people who physically assaulted me.”
Gasps ripple through the room. Back in the practice studio, Kana lets out a stunned, “What?”
Memcho covers her mouth in shock, while Sarina’s eyes sharpen with worry.
If Ruby wasn’t focused before, she is now. Because well…
She can’t believe Aqua is revealing this to the public.
“Two years ago, I was targeted by a group of students—some from my school, others not. They found it entertaining to hurt someone like me: a quiet boy who initially lived from another country with a growing public profile. The bullying was relentless. Bruises, cuts, verbal harassment—none of it was reported. I didn’t want to be a burden on my family.”
Aqua’s voice doesn’t shake, but his hands clench at the podium.
“I left school to focus on my career, that was the truth. But another truth is—I left because I no longer felt safe.”
He pauses, then lifts the hem of his shirt slightly to reveal a faded scar on his side. He also unbuttons the collar of his shirt just enough to expose a healed mark near his collarbone.
“These injuries were hidden. They made sure of that.”
A hush falls over the reporters. The flashes slow, as if they collectively hold their breath.
“Ruby discovered the truth after she saw blood on my school uniform. She confronted me until I finally broke down and told her. Shortly after, the school administration and the parents of those involved held a closed-door meeting. An NDA was signed to prevent further scandal.”
“Are you confirming there was a nondisclosure agreement?” one reporter asks.
Aqua nods solemnly. “Yes. I did not want this information made public. I was humiliated. But now that my sister is being blamed for defending me in a situation I was too ashamed to speak about… I can’t stay quiet.”
His voice wavers for the first time.
“Ruby is not guilty of anything. If anything, she protected me when I couldn’t protect myself. Even if the photos Ruby caused of my assaulter were exaggerated, she still kept quiet.”
He bows deeply, staying like that for several seconds.
“Please. Don’t hate her for doing what any caring sibling would have done. That’s all I have to say.”
The flashes resume in a frenzy as Aqua straightens up, face blank, eyes glassy but determined.
The screen freezes on his expression as the broadcast ends.
Ruby stares at the phone, unable to speak.
Memcho lets out a stunned breath. “Holy shit…”
“Your reputation is clear now, Ruby,” Sarina says, a note of happiness in her voice.
But Ruby doesn’t respond. Her eyes stay locked on the screen.
Everything Aqua said is mostly true, sure—but that’s not what’s bothering her.
Aqua never shows his vulnerability, more so in public. Hell, Aqua wants to be the perfect person in public without any tragic backstory left on his resume. After all, they already have enough with Ai’s death.
If he ever does show any vulnerability, he goes somewhere else in his head, shuts down, eyes blank, completely disconnected. The only one who saw Aqua like that was mom, Taishi and Ruby.
So for him to stand in front of cameras and cry? Even if some parts are just acting…
That was a performance Aqua would never do outside of screenplays and theaters.
A brilliant, calculated performance.
Aqua chose to put on a show, and no one could pull it off like him. He’s a genius child actor. If he wants the world to believe something, they will.
Ruby is more worried than ever. Not only has Aqua shown too much to the public than her brother would’ve liked, there’s another thing…
What gets under her skin also is why he did it.
Aqua helped her.
Even though he’s the one who doesn’t want her to be an idol. Even though this situation—the backlash, the scandal—it could’ve been exactly what he needed to push her off the path.
But instead, he held a press conference.
Did Mom know? Probably not. Ruby doubts Aqua even told her. He probably looped Miyako at the last minute, just enough to avoid total disaster.
Ruby’s not sure what she feels. Grateful? Guilty? Annoyed? Worried?
She’s glad. Of course she is. But she doesn’t want to owe him. Not when they’re still fighting.
“Um, Ruby?”
She snaps her head toward Sarina, who sheepishly holds out her hand. “My phone…?”
“Oh!” Ruby immediately hands it back. “Sorry—and thanks, by the way.”
Sarina smiles gently. She’s always so kind. Ruby doesn’t think she deserves any of Sarina’s kindness.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Kana mutters, arms crossed.
“Hm?” Memcho tilts her head. “What do you mean?”
Kana smirks. “Hoshino Aqua is Japan’s golden boy. What do you think is going to happen now that he’s said his piece?”
Ruby doesn’t need to imagine it. She can already feel the internet exploding.
Hashtags are probably trending by now—#ProtectRuby, #AquaSpeaks, maybe even #IdolScandalExposed. Fans are dissecting every word Aqua said, frame by frame. Clips from the conference are being clipped, subtitled, reposted, memed.
Every account that once dragged her name through the mud is either deleting their posts or pretending they never said a thing. The same people who called her manipulative are now calling her brave.
The real fans? They're probably on fire. Digging into records, looking up school reports, demanding accountability. Someone's probably already found the girl who posted the photo, and the backlash is coming in waves.
And Aqua—calm, calculated Aqua—is at the center of it all. His face, teary but composed, is already screenshot and plastered across the internet like a war banner.
The girl who posted about her is two years older, still a teenager. Young enough to be reckless, but old enough to know better. And now, with the internet turning on her, she’ll probably be torn apart.
Ruby knows her brother—the version of him that emerged after Mama died.
Aqua won’t care. Ruby knows that for sure. He’s not the type to flinch when consequences hit, especially if it means protecting Ruby.
And the truth is… Ruby doesn’t care much either.
Should she? Maybe. But right now, she doesn’t have the energy for guilt. Specifically to the person who tried to turn Japan against her.
“So…” Sarina adds quietly, “there are NDAs involved. I wonder what would happen to the people involved…”
Speaking of the devil. That person’s parents, and—possibly, probably or whatever—the school where the bullying happened are surely panicking. Her mom and Aqua will have to deal with the fallout. Ruby almost feels sorry for the person who posted the accusation.
Almost.
Memcho claps her hands. “Well, now that everything’s cleared up, Ruby’s back in practice, right?”
Kana nods with a small smile. “Welcome back.”
Sarina glances at the clock. “I’ve got to run—Adashino encouraged me to sprint here during break.”
“Thanks again, Sarina!” Kana calls as she rushes out.
Ruby vibrates where she stands, her muscles itching to move. For the first time in days, she feels light.
“C’mon!” she laughs, heart thudding with relief.
Yes, it doesn’t mean everything was solved considering the fact multiple people might have already voted for her to be eliminated.
Still, her name is now clean. Ruby is already happy about it.
Even if she doesn’t debut here, Strawberry Productions are her fallback. Mom made promise of that, and Ruby believed her.
***
“How can you let them hit you, Aqua?!” Ruby shouted for the third time, her hands trembling as she pressed cotton to the bruising along his collarbone.
Aqua sat slumped, boneless in her grip, eyes fixed on the window like he wasn’t really there.
She was only eleven, but she tried not to cry—not when her twin brother looked like this. Not when he looked like he didn’t care if he disappeared entirely.
When her voice cracked louder, Aqua finally stirred, fingers wrapping gently around her wrist.
“I’m fine,” he said.
“You keep saying that!” she snapped, voice rising. “You’re not fine!”
“I can handle it.”
“No, you can’t! Your body is only eleven years old, you stupid idiot!”
Aqua winced but didn’t look at her. “Just… don’t tell Mom.”
Ruby pressed her lips together, furious. “Why do you act like you deserve this?”
Aqua flinched. His shoulders tensed, but it was too late—she saw it. She always saw it.
“What are you guilty about, huh?!” she hissed, dabbing the cotton deeper, making him hissed again.
“I—”
“You know how to fight, Aqua! You might be the only person who knows every martial art! So why can’t you just—”
“I’m not a good person, Ruby,” he said quietly.
“If you’re talking about pulling strings to get roles or acting like some naïve little kid to make adults pity you, then save it.”
“Ruby—”
“No. I won’t hear it.”
Aqua sighed. His shoulders sagged. “Okay. Fine.”
And then it happened—that dull, lifeless stare was back again. Eyes so blank, Ruby hated that look. Hated that he disappeared behind it.
A new kind of fury burned in her chest. How could people do this to her brother? How could they break him down like this?
He even knew how to cover his injuries with makeup. He learned to hide his wounds like he expected them.
She knew the truth. It wasn’t about bullies making Aqua act like this. For some reason, Aqua wanted to be punished. For things he did in the industry, for choices he made, for sins no child should have to carry. And she doesn't know why her brother is so hard on himself.
Ruby doesn’t know where this guilt was coming from.
But then suddenly, her anger made its way to the bullies, even if they are practically children in Aqua's perspective.
Ruby didn’t care.
She didn’t care that the ones who hurt him were older. Didn’t care if they were her age. Didn't care if she was scared.
She made up her mind.
The next day at school, Ruby walked in with bleach and a bottle of bright red paint, hidden inside her large school bag. Her hands didn’t shake. Her eyes didn’t waver.
And when she was done—when the bullies cried and screamed and their uniforms were stained like open wounds—Ruby felt nothing.
No fear. No shame.
No regret.
Notes:
Our favorite character who is canonically predisposition in guilt is here--A wild Hoshino Aqua appears!
(I'm really sorry if some readers wants to drag out the drama)
Comments are always welcome!!