Work Text:
Sometimes, Niall tries to think back and pinpoint when it began. Surely all things have a beginning, right? Obviously he knows when this all started, this thing that has apparently become his absolutely bloody amazing life, it’s just he can’t remember when it started. He searches the deepest corners of his mind trying to figure out if Harry and Louis actually have an anniversary or something that would indicate that Harry and Louis haven’t always been harryandlouis. But.
His ponderings have thus far proven useless and really, what’s the point. If there’s one thing that Niall is absolutely sure of in this crazy whirlwind, out of body experience he gets to call living, it’s that Harry and Louis are the fucking greatest thing ever.
It’s just, after some concerts when Niall’s blood rushes through his veins so intensely he can hear it in his ears and the adrenaline of performing in front of thousands of people who love him has his hands shaking and his body simultaneously exhausted and wide awake, his thoughts ride off down tangents Niall didn’t even know he could come up with. And in between wondering if the flight attendants portrayed in advertisements really are flight attendants or merely models, and whether or not eating after brushing your teeth still counts in terms of calories, Niall’s mind wanders innocently down the how-cute-are-Louis-and-Harry path.
Because as much as he would deny it under duress, Niall’s secretly a hopeless romantic with a shipper’s heart. Also despite getting the real time version of events everyday, he’s been to tumblr and he’s seen the gif-sets. And what of it if he sometimes turns into what can only be described as an obsessive fan girl because excuse me who asked for that huge bucket load of feelings and my goodness Niall simply cannot sometimes when he sees the eyes those two make at each other.
And yeah, maybe Niall’s a touch too invested in living vicariously through his two band mates.
For a while there, they would never kiss in front of the other boys.
Niall was never actually completely sure about the reasoning for this. It wouldn’t have even been noticeable if it weren’t for the fact that it was really fucking noticeable. Ever since Harry and Louis had told the rest of the band they were together (although lets be honest here, Harry told them that he and Louis were together, Louis just stood there looking like he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to smile or throw up. And please, Niall would at least like some credit, as if he didn’t already know), the other boys had tried to make it clear without explicitly saying it that it was all good with them for Harry and Louis to be affectionate around them. It wasn’t that they wanted to see it; it was more that they didn’t not want to see it.
The way Niall sees it, and he is certain Zayn and Liam agree with him, Louis and Harry have to hide their relationship from enough people, so it only seems fair that they don’t have to worry about overstepping a line when they are around the other boys. It just took some time to get Harry and Louis on board with this system as well.
One particularly awkward slip up, in which Harry seemed to forget that they don’t do that in front of the lads, ended in him leaning down to kiss Louis only to have Louis turn his head out of pure instinct, resulting in Harry’s lips making contact with Louis’ ear. The movement was so obvious that Liam actually sounded genuinely annoyed when he let out a frustrated growl and shot a “Just fucking kiss, we don’t give a fuck, you idiots!” across the room.
For one thing, Niall nearly fucking jumped out of his bloody skin, because the communal area of the bus is actually very small and Liam’s voice can be inordinately loud when he wants it to be. He may have also felt a teensy bit scared because Liam never swears and he got this terrible feeling that he was in trouble and being told off by his father for something he didn’t even do.
The hot red flushes that crawled up Harry and Louis’ cheeks were unrivalled by beetroots as the both stared all doe-eyed at Liam, looking like they’d just received the sex talk from a parent. Niall spots Zayn not so surreptitiously trying to slide on his stomach across the floor down to the bunk area, because the atmosphere in the room is just so awkward and Zayn’s never really been one for confrontation. He doesn’t make it though, because Liam grabs his ankle and gives him this stern look that is obviously trying to communicate that this issue is about to be sorted.
“I don’t want to make it a thing and make you both uncomfortable, but you just need to know that you don’t have to hide around the three of us. Ever.” Liam says in his ever matter of fact fashion that has Niall nodding vigorously before managing to tone it down a notch to a gentle tilt of his chin, because he likes to maintain a casual façade.
Harry says “Okay,” at the same time that Louis says, “Thanks.” And that’s it, case closed, let’s not bring this up again, yeah?
From then on, they are much more relaxed about their displays of affection in front of the boys but Niall still feels like he’s watching a secret when he sees them kiss. One moment that stands out in his memory for no other reason than because it was so fucking natural that Niall actually wants to weep into a bucket of rainbows, is when they are cuddled up in Liam’s flat watching the new season of X Factor on an unusual night off.
Like always, Louis and Harry manage to get completely tangled up in one another, even though they started off just sitting comfortably together on the couch. Louis is snacking insistently on everything within his reach, crunching noisily on crisps before moving onto a melting chocolate bar. By complete chance, Niall looks over at Louis at the exact moment he accidently smears a little bit of chocolate on the corner of his mouth. Unfortunately in the moment for Niall, who hates it when people don’t notice they have something on their face (it’s a rather particular pet peeve, but what can you do), Louis doesn’t even react to the alteration to his face.
Niall is about three seconds away from scratching his own face off in a rather misguided attempt to get the chocolate off Louis’ face, when he sees Harry shift underneath the older boy. Casual as you like, Harry heaves his upper body off the couch so he can reach Louis’ mouth and he kisses the chocolate at the corner before moving more central and pressing two, maybe three kisses to Louis’ lips before sinking back down onto the couch.
Louis is grinning like an idiot while Harry smiles quietly to himself and Niall is dying because if that’s not the fucking cutest thing he’s ever seen in his entire life and Harry you absolute sap.
So Niall really loves it when they hold hands.
Louis has these tiny wee hands that Zayn always likes to call him on because really, doesn’t small hands mean…
“Seriously, dude, your hands are all delicate and soft like a manicurist or something.” And it’s just another one of those things that Zayn says and he’s not really looking for a reaction but it’s a bonus if he gets one. But Louis isn’t really someone who rises to such bait so he just laughs good-naturedly and shoots back a, “I don’t know what you’re trying to say mate, but you’re the one who just used manicurist in a sentence.”
But Harry - and this is what really gets Niall - Harry just silently picks up Louis’ hand from where it’s resting on the couch and closes both his hands around Louis’ fingers. Harry’s hands always look massive when compared to Louis’ and they completely dwarf the elder’s hands right now. There’s something about the way Harry is curled up quietly on the couch that makes it even sweeter. And Niall thinks his shipper heart actually might explode when Harry presses Louis’ hand against his mouth and kisses the back of it, feather light and barely there.
Louis just looks down at Harry all gentle eyes and soft smiles and whispers a quiet “Thanks babe,” that has Liam groaning from across the room (although everyone knows he fucking loves it too), and Zayn throwing a pillow at the pair of them for being so cheesy.
Then there are all those little things they do for each other that realistically should have Niall mime vomiting at the soppiness of it all (sometimes he does, if he manages to catch himself from his melting heart in time and react accordingly).
When they are touring across the US, they stop at a service station somewhere in the middle of nowhere, where the horizon is far and flat and the accents are twangy. After some ungodly amount of hours cramped up on the bus, Niall seizes the opportunity to stretch his legs. The early afternoon air suffocates Niall’s unaccustomed lungs as he quickly escapes inside the thankfully air-conditioned shop. He’s vaguely aware that someone followed him off the bus but he pays them no mind as he begins to flick through the various gossip magazines on the magazine rack.
Niall is just about to find out Victoria Beckham’s post baby body secrets, when Harry’s distinctive laughter rips through the quiet shop.
“Nialler, check out this card,” Harry grin can be heard in his voice and sure enough, it’s taken over his entire face when Niall looks up to see Harry holding out a greeting card.
I like having sex with you.
The message is completed with a rather lovely image of a couple on a beach at sunset, and what the fuck, who pays money for that sort of thing?
Apparently Harry, because no sooner has Niall read the message has Harry snatched it out of his line of vision, cackling as he makes his way to the counter. “Mate, I’m so buying this for Lou. This is bloody fantastic.”
And buy it he does. Harry proceeds to then use Niall’s back as a table as they make their way back to the bus, scribbling out what Niall assumes to be a message on the inside of the card. He tries to catch a glimpse of the younger boy’s writing, but Harry’s got the reflexes of a fucking ninja (only when he can be bothered, of course, most of the time he’d lose a race with a snail), and he whips the card under his shirt with a stupid smirk.
Harry gives the card to Louis when they make it back to the bus, and the older boy barks out a laugh, clipping Harry around the ears. “What the fuck is this Haz?” He chokes out, but he’s grinning and opening the card to see the words Harry scrawled out a minute earlier.
Niall notices the way Louis’ eyes soften almost instantly and in between the dewiness he thinks he spots in the corners of Louis’ eyes and the way his fingers stay tangled lightly in the younger boy’s hair, Niall is squealing on the inside. And Harry is just grinning like the absolute fucking idiot he is, holding on to the other boy’s wrist and looking at Louis with such intense adoration that Niall kind of wants to blurt out how much he loves them. But he decides this might ruin the moment somewhat. Besides, he really fucking wants to know what’s written in the card.
Niall doesn’t get a chance to read it though, because Louis tucks it under his arm for the entire next stretch of road, and Niall doesn’t see it after that. It’s not until months later, long after the tour has ended when they’re back in London working on the next album, that Niall is reminded of the silly thing.
He’s trying to get dressed for a night out but he can’t find the jacket he wants to wear and he’s vaguely aware of the possibility of Louis borrowing it ages ago. He may or may not (read: may) break into Harry and Louis’ flat (well, he has a spare key, they’re not home and he fucking wants his jacket, so really what’s a boy to do?) and is fishing around in the clothes on Louis’ floor when he spots it out of the corner of his eye.
The stupid sunset is glaring at Niall from across the room and after absolutely no deliberation; Niall leaps over the messy floor to snatch the card up off its perch on Louis’ beside table. Somewhere in a dusty corner of Niall’s mind shouts a tinny little voice saying that this counts as spying on two of his best friends, but to be honest, Niall doesn’t give a fuck.
I don’t say it to you enough: I fucking love you, babe. H xx
There are two stick figures underneath Harry’s messy scribble, one with distinctly curly hair and the other with a sweeping flick of a fringe. They are wearing matching one hundred watt grins and Niall’s heart swoops in a ridiculous fashion when he sees that their one-line arms meet in between them as if they are holding hands.
And, oh, Niall thinks. Because sometimes he forgets that Harry and Louis aren’t just fucking cute for his entertainment. The way they are with each stems from the fact that they genuinely care for each other, and Niall feels his heart ache just a tiny bit, because, fuck.
And let us not forget the time when Niall and Harry were sharing a hotel room (because apparently it’s too obvious if Harry and Louis always share, and seriously come on, who the fuck is even checking up on that shit?), and Niall walks in on Harry and Louis snuggling on the bed.
Louis has his glasses on and he’s reading with one arm slung around a sleeping Harry’s shoulders, and he glances up at Niall with a smile when he walks in.
And it’s silly, because they’re always all over each other and so he should really be desensitised to it by now, but there’s something so damn loving about this. So peaceful and private about seeing their bodies curled into each other like it’s their only purpose and the slight hint of dribble forming from Harry’s mouth in the crook of Louis’ neck, that Niall feels himself flushing and miming a silent apology to Louis as he backs out of the room.
In the hallway, Niall feels like an A-grade prat because he just made it weird, but. They’re so perfect that Niall’s heart hurts and for the tiniest of seconds all he can think about is how young they are. And he’s so worried that they’ll shine too bright, too soon and burn out, and it all seems so impossible but at the same time very, very possible. The feeling is fleeting though, it passes before it can consume him and cause him to work himself into a frenzy over something that is both completely out of his control and absolutely none of his business.
“Pull yourself together, Niall,” Niall chides himself under his breath, a light slap across his own face, as he saunters off down the hallway in search for food.
And has Niall mentioned how much he fucking loves the stupid signal thing that they do? Because he really fucking does.
They do it everywhere too, not just on stage or in interviews where they are point blank forbidden from expressing anything besides platonic interest in each other. They do it when they are hanging out together, in the car together, shopping together, pretty much anytime they are together and Niall always notices it. And it’s just so fucking sweet that Niall can hardly take it because they just like looking at each other and telling each other they love them even if they don’t say it with words at all.
Like when they all get back from the short holiday they took after the tour ended and have dinner at Zayn’s place to catch up. And it’s that time late in the evening where the drinks are flowing easily but it’s not leading anywhere, it’s just comfortable and casual.
Niall lifts his head from his second helping of the dessert that Perrie made just in time to see Harry’s head fall contently on Louis shoulder, a drunk smile across his face. Louis drapes his arm around Harry’s shoulders, pulling the boy closer to him, pressing his thumb against the younger boys lips. And Harry’s smile widens as he tilts his head up to look at Louis, and in a move that would probably be rather straightforward if it wasn’t for the copious amount of beer he consumed, Harry manages to lift his hand up to press his own thumb to Louis’ lips. Niall watches as they maintain eye contact for what feels like hours after that, lost in their own little world where their love is literally all they need.
Seriously, someone call life alert because Niall’s fallen and he simply cannot get up.
Then there’s that thing that Niall noticed about Harry and Louis that makes him kind of hate himself, because really, who the fuck notices that?
It’s just, everybody has a smell, that one that mothers always talk about, how babies’ skin smells a certain way and everybody’s smell is different. And that’s cool, that’s not weird at all, because that is simply fact. What is weird is how Niall has actually noticed, that Harry and Louis don’t seem to have individual smells anymore, like everything smells like them the collective now. And their flat doesn’t smell like either Louis or Harry, or even just Louis and Harry individually, it actually smells like louisandharry, one and the same. And just.
Niall tries not to think about the psychiatric help that could be beneficial to him at this point.
And every now and then, Niall will catch a glimpse of one of them staring at the other like they fucking hung the sun or something. And it’s just.
One time it happens on stage, during ‘Moments’, which is always emotionally charged, what with Liam’s sad face coming out in full force and that. And Harry nails his part every night, of course, but this time he’s on a whole new level. And Niall’s feeling like a fucking proud mother as it is, but then he sees Louis.
Louis, whose eyes are glassy as he stares at Harry from his place on the stage. And Niall actually sees the moment when Louis’ breath catches, like Harry actually took his breath away, and Louis’ not moving he’s just standing there in a trance. And Niall is torn between doing something to prevent Louis from outing them to thousands of fans, because it’s just so obvious that he is completely in love, but he also doesn’t want to rob Louis of his moment where everything about Harry is perfect to him (maybe he always is).
In the end, Niall doesn’t have to do anything because Harry looks up and meets Louis’ gaze with an equally intense stare of his own. And he’s got this look on this face that breaks Niall’s heart in places he didn’t even know existed because Harry just looks so fucking sad, but not, and also happy, but not. And he smiles carefully at Louis as he squints under the bright stage lights, and it seems as though it’s in understanding, that he feels what Louis feels too, like his feelings are fighting away under the surface to overflow and be exposed to everyone who is not allowed to see.
And it’s just so painful to watch because it shouldn’t be like this for them, their love shouldn’t have to be so clandestine and their every move shouldn’t be watched from the wings like they are punishable acts. And Niall’s always known this is the darker side to their relationship but in this moment he really fucking feels it too, and he wants to do something, anything, to make this situation even a tiny bit better for these boys he fucking loves more than anything.
So Niall does the only thing he can do in that moment. He skips between them with the pretence of breathing in the atmosphere of the crowd in front of them, and throws his arms around both their shoulders. A tight squeeze of his fingers into each of their upper arms is all they need to know it’s okay to tangle their fingers together behind his back, because if they can’t show the world then Niall thinks they should at least be able to show each other.
And Niall smiles as he looks between them, because now their smiles are bigger and happier and more real and he’s fucking proud of them and he wonders if he should be jealous. Because some people spend their whole lives trying to find someone they are half as compatible with as Louis and Harry are, and sometimes Niall toys with the idea that maybe he’ll never find that someone. But then he has to remind himself that Louis and Harry are exceptional circumstances, and they’re not just being fucking cute for the sake of it, they love each other in a way that’s so, so strong and powerful and also kind of scary, but absolutely fucking amazing at the same time. And Niall is so busy being over the moon for them that he hasn’t even got a second to dwell on being jealous.
Later, when they’re all piled into the lift, exhausted after two concerts in one day, huddled together just trying to stay upright, Niall catches sight of Louis and Harry’s pinkie fingers entwined. And. In a way, it’s the sweetest thing of all, their need to touch each other all the time, without needing it to mean anything other than the knowledge that the other is right there next to them.
And as Niall is inwardly swooning, Louis looks up at him from where he was resting his head against the lift wall.
“Thanks mate, for earlier,” Louis’ voice is quiet in a way it almost never is, and Harry reaches out and pets Niall’s hair for a minute, too tired to give his own verbal agreement.
“It was nothing, really lads.” Niall offers a smile at the two boys, as the others look on, only partially understanding.
“It wasn’t, so thank you,” Louis nods and his tone is final in a way that Niall knows he reserves for genuine feelings, and in a weird way it makes Niall feel a tiny bit glad that he gets to be part of their crazy love story even if it’s just in the small role of being a supporter of it.
And when the doors open and they all trudge down the hall to their respective rooms, Niall catches sight of Louis reaching into the pocket of Harry’s jeans to pull their key card out. And then he presses a tiny kiss to Harry’s hairline as he opens the door and Harry clutches his hand around the fabric of Louis t-shirt. And. Fuck.
Niall needs a minute.