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Adam never had many friends growing up, or really even now.
He was always the “weird” kid, not really invited to birthdays or sleepovers in grade school or just parties in high school. It was fine, honestly, because he preferred to be alone.
Then he met Nigel.
Their first meeting had not been ideal.
Adam has still been struggling with the adjustment of a new location and so much change, that when the washing machine stole his quarters he’d started to cry.
Nigel just appeared out of nowhere, knowing exactly what to do, and didn’t look at him like he was weird. He just patted his shoulder, and said, “I have shit days too, Darling.”
After that day, it was rare that they didn’t see each other.
Nigel often came to his apartment because he knew it made Adam more comfortable to be home.
They would either have dinner or watch television, and Adam looked forward to seeing Nigel every day, even if he’d already seen him the day before.
The two of them had little in common, though Nigel liked listening to Adam talk about space more than anyone ever had. He always paid attention too, which made Adam very happy when he’d ask questions.
Nigel was his best friend.
He felt more comfortable with him than he ever had with anyone else in his entire life.
Which was why he started laying on him.
Nigel was muscular but also soft in places, and he never seemed to mind when Adam just flopped on his lap talking excitedly about a documentary or debunking a science fiction film they were watching. He smiled, asked questions, and sometimes even just rubbed Adam’s back or shoulders as he listened intently.
It was nice to just be so comfortable with someone without obligation or confusion.
Then Adam found himself wanting to be even closer.
He would rub his face against Nigel’s neck, the scent of his cologne and just Nigel one he often just needed.
Nigel didn’t do more than touch his hair then, though he did sigh as Adam would ask, “Is this ok?” and just say, “Whatever you need, yeah?”
He really liked Nigel.
Though he didn’t really think of how Nigel might take things the wrong way.
Then it all came crashing down.
It was a Sunday, late, and they were watching one of Nigel’s action movies. Adam had his head on Nigel’s shoulder and kept petting his hair while he rubbed his cheek against Nigel’s stubble.
He liked the texture against his own and sighed as Nigel suddenly turned to look at him.
“Am I bothering you?”
Nigel touched his cheek.
“No.”
Adam smiled. “That’s good, I—"
He froze when Nigel kissed him, shocked, and pushed him back hard as he jumped up.
“Why did you DO THAT?”
Nigel grabbed the back of his neck.
“Darling, I know you needed to be comfortable before we started anything, but the last few months have driven me fucking crazy since we started dating. I know you fucked that bitch you dated so it’s not that you’re not into sex, so—"
Adam’s eyes filled with tears. “We’re not dating! I never said we were dating!”
Nigel laughed. “Adam, you’ve been rubbing all over me like a cat in heat! If we’re not dating, why the fuck are you doing that?”
Adam blushed. “I just….”
Nigel got up with a scoff.
“Whatever, yeah? We’re not fucking dating you just use me like a goddamn stuffed animal, and I’m supposed to be ok with that? No fucking way.”
Adam whimpered.
“Nigel, I just—"
Nigel didn’t look at him as he slammed the door, and Adam pressed his hands to his eyes as he yelled, hitting himself.
“STUPID! STUPID ADAM! DUMB! STUPID! STUPID!”
He started throwing things, everything he could find, and just yelling until someone called the police after an hour and he had to tell them he was just upset.
Adam crawled on the couch after, burying his face against where Nigel sat, and he fell asleep in tears.
And woke up to someone putting a blanket over him.
“Fuck, I’m such an asshole.”
He couldn’t see in the dark but grabbed the hand pressing his nose against it as he burst into tears. “Nigel?”
Nigel sighed. “Yes, Darling, I…I’m here.”
He threw himself at Nigel with a cry, whining as he nuzzled his cheek even poking Nigel in the chin with his own.
“Nigel,” he sighed, “Please don’t hate me,” he begged, “I didn’t…I didn’t…”
“Shh…”
Adam was shaking as Nigel turned on the light, and he saw his eyes were red while Nigel touched his cheek.
“You hurt yourself.”
“I got upset.”
Nigel sighed. “Adam, I’m sorry, yeah? I’m not owed anything and I…I just can’t lose you, you know? I need you, Darling. I…who’s gonna worry about me if I don’t have you? You’re my best friend, Adam, and I…”
Adam lifted his head, tears blurring his vision, and touched Nigel’s face.
“You’re my best friend too, Nigel. I’m sorry I.,.I won’t—"
Nigel smiled as he shook his head.
“Don’t apologize for me being a prick, yeah? So you’re not into me. It’s a bruise to my ego, but I’ll live. I…”
Adam blushed, staring at Nigel while he talked, not hearing him as he just looked.
Nigel was very handsome, which he’d known for a long time when we people would look at him when they went out for meals or even to museums.
He hadn’t really thought of Nigel that way in terms of his own attraction, but as he leaned into him, he remembered their kiss which felt like longer ago than only hours and put a hand to his lips in memory.
“…and we can be each other’s help, yeah? After a bit, obviously but—"
Adam licked his lips as he sniffled.
“Can you kiss me again?”
Nigel blinked. “What?”
He grabbed Nigel’s arms, nervous, and let out a long breath. “I would like you to kiss me again.”
“Adam…”
“Nigel…”
Nigel sighed as he stood. “No. Darling I’m not gonna do that again. You have no idea how the last few hours have been. I fucking…”
Adam felt tears fall down his cheeks.
“I love being with you more than anyone, Nigel,” he confessed, as Nigel looked at him, “And I wasn’t ready when you kissed me before but…I was touching you all the time because you’re my favorite everything. Everything,” he said, sniffling, “My favorite scent, sound, feel, touch, sight…and I…I only tasted you the one time and I was confused and scared and I…” he shook his head as he looked down, “I just wanted—"
The sound Nigel made had him raise his head as Nigel rushed to the couch, lifting his chin up for a kiss that he felt in his toes. His body was warm as he tasted nicotine and liquor on Nigel’s tongue and sighed as Nigel pulled back to nuzzle his cheek like Adam loved.
“How’s that, Darling?”
Adam licked his lips and smiled.
“Good. I…maybe I need more to be sure, but I think…”
Nigel laughed as he kissed him again, bent over Adam’s couch as he felt him trembling. Adam pulled and Nigel fell over him. He was usually the one to lay on Nigel and the reverse felt like a heavy blanket as Nigel pulled away to kiss across his cheek smiling as Adam whimpered.
“I…I think…I might…”
“Yeah?”
Adam nodded, and Nigel sat back, panting as they stared both smiling as Adam nuzzled Nigel’s stubbled cheek.
Nigel sighed as he hugged him tight, and Adam felt tears on his neck as Nigel kissed his cheek.
“Fuck, Adam, I...I don’t know what I’ll do if you change your mind. I’ll try, yeah? I might…”
Adam sighed as he closed his eyes.
“I might need…it was different with Beth, Nigel.”
Nigel tensed up and Adam held him tight when he tried to move.
“Adam, Darling, please don’t mention that bitch now.”
Adam turned his cheek and kissed him again softly. “It was different because I...I tried to be what she told me to be and you…you’ve never wanted me to be anything else. I got comfortable being me, and I…I took my time. I…you’re my favorite everything, Nigel.” he said, voice shaking, “I don’t think anyone else could be now that I have you.”
Nigel smiled through sudden tears and kissed him again softly before he pulled back to smile.
“You’re my favorite everything too, Adam. Absolutely fucking everything.”
They hugged then, not letting go, and Adam fell asleep in Nigel’s arms only to wake up to the scent of him pressed against his nose. He closed his eyes to breathe in deeply, tears flowing, and sighed.
“Everything.”