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Pat and his husband bickered often, argued on occasion, but they rarely had fights. Cap was high strung at best, and though he was at his most relaxed when Pat was present, he was still rather easy to set off. Most of the time it was their shared friend group that annoyed him, and Pat spent quite a bit of time helping him get over whatever small instance upset him. Over the years this became easier to do as he understood the Captain better.
When they argued, they had always made up by the days end. Pat believed that it didn’t make sense for them to go to bed together upset and they would end up apologizing to each other, sometimes at the same time.
But when they fought, it was explosive. It took a lot to set Pat off, but when he did, oh boy stay clear. He usually wasn’t the one for dramatics, no, that was the Captain’s prerogative, but he could take a leaf out of his book when push came to shove.
It was late afternoon when Pat stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him as if the Captain really needed another reminder at how enraged he was. He set off through the neighborhood without a plan, very unlike him, just trying to put as much distance between himself and the big twat as possible.
The fresh air did him good, though he had to mind how quickly he was walking. He left the house without anything but his wallet, phone, and keys so the last thing he needed was to have to ring 999 because he was having an asthma attack. It would just be embarrassing.
Sooner rather than later he ended up at the local nature trails and took off down them on the path towards the lake. By the time he got there his anger was starting to run out of steam. Completely alone, Pat sat down on one of the benches facing out at the water and heaved out a sigh while holding his face in his hands.
God his stupid husband just couldn’t stop when he got going. It wasn’t really the end of the world for the group to attend one of Thomas’ poetry recitals. The Captain knew not a single one of them enjoyed it, but they did it to support Thomas. And they always went out to the pub afterwards to spend time as a group, so really what was ten minutes of bad poetry for a lovely night out? But oh no, the Captain would rather skip the poetry as though Thomas wouldn’t spend the rest of the night complaining that he refused to come and then re-recite the poetry at the pub. Then they would have to listen to it twice!
Pat understood not participating in things that he didn’t want to, but if it made their friend happy wasn’t that enough?
Leaning back on the bench, he let the sounds of nature surround him and tried to clear his mind. He could hear the squirrels running about, some ducks quacking a ways off, and the willow tree leaves rustling gently in the breeze.
Nature had always been Pat’s happy place, it’s part of why he always loved being in the Scouts as a kid and as an adult. His husband also loved being out in nature, and they spent many a time coming to this exact spot to bird watch.
Pat loved his husband so much, even when he was being a right twat. He had helped support him after everything that happened with Carol and Morris, and upon learning what happened texted the group that he was taking Pat for a walk and shut off both their phones. He led them to the forest paths lit up only by the light of the moon, and they sat in silence.
The Captain was not the most tactile person, but he let Pat lean on him and cry into his shoulder without a single complaint, something that would shock the others when Pat told them about it much later on.
He never treated Pat any different, and that more than anything helped him get as close as he could get to normal again.
The Captain ended up taking him on what could be considered several dates to clear his mind of Carol before Pat realized he was even interested in him. One of the most memorable occasions was when they went on a weekend trip to the Scottish Highlands in the spring for bird watching. At the time Pat had thought the others just weren’t interested in bird watching until he found out later that none of the others were invited in the first place. Looking back, that made much more sense as Thomas never turned down the opportunity to “return to the homeland.”
All the stops were pulled out that day, from the Abba mix tape that played in the car to the picnic lunch that the Captain had put together for them. All of his favorites were there- scotch eggs, sausage rolls, cheese and onion sandwiches. And since they were staying at a nearby hotel in walking distance, a bottle of wine!
Pat had admonished himself when he found out that it had been intended as a date, the signs were so clear in hindsight. But after struggling on the dating scene when he was younger, as many did not take kindly to learning that he was trans, to being cheated on by his wife, it was hard to see his own worth and think that anyone would be interested in him.
The Captain kept right on though, not letting it bother him, continuing to take walks with him rain or shine. One time there was a sun shower, and as Pat looked up to the Captain, he was overtaken by the beauty of the man walking next to him. Silver hair glowed in the light, gentle drops of water sitting just on top, and a smile shining brighter than the sun shown back at him. It was as if cupid’s arrow struck him and he finally saw the light.
From then on, they were together officially and traveled all over. At times their friends would join, and others it would be just the two of them. They experienced everything from a storm, more like a hurricane as Pat remembers, in Dungeness to beach trips where the quiet blue ocean stretched out as far as the eye could see, barely a wave in sight.
As Pat continued to sit, the lake in front of him and memories behind, he let the happiness of those times fill his heart.
Sure he and Cap had argued, but what couple doesn’t on occasion? They always worked it out, and the Captain made sure that Pat knew that he was loved. That he would never be cheated on again no matter how many times he would ask, paranoid and scarred. The Captain would hold him, kiss those thoughts away with the patience of a saint. A patience that sometimes seemed only existed for Pat.
And when the Captain was having a difficult time, Pat was the only one that he would let come to him. Before he locked himself away, would go days without speaking to anyone in person or texting the group back.
But with Pat, he would let him in. Would let him hold him, and make sure that he knew how loved he was no matter what he was going through. Pat showed this to him by spending as much time with him as possible- minutes, hours, days if necessary. He would put on the Captain’s favorite shows, and make as many jokes as possible to coax a smile and a laugh out of him.
Pat always loved the Captain’s laugh, when he let himself that is. But since they have been together they have all noticed that his laughter comes easier and more often, the lovely sound making a home in Pat’s heart. He would happily make a fool of himself just to hear that melodic sound.
He had made it a specific point to do so as much as possible after the accident. The Captain had volunteered with his old unit to help with some training exercises and in the process almost lost his life. The new recruits were messing around with guns that they had thought were loaded with blanks. They had not been, and it cost the Captain his ability to walk.
Pat felt tears roll down his face as he remembered racing to the military hospital after getting the worst phone call of his life. He hadn’t even known that the Captain had put him down as his primary contact. Seeing him in the hospital bed out cold with tubes and wires attached to him, Pat couldn’t stop the sobs from wracking through him. The nurses ended up bringing him several boxes of tissues and a water, one woman kindly patting him on the shoulder and telling him that she could only hope to one day have a partner who loved her as much as he loved the Captain.
Once the Captain woke up, he scooched as best he could, and all but forced Pat into the bed with him refusing to let him go. He promised that if he was to die, he would do it in Pat’s arms because there was nowhere else he would rather be.
When the nurse came in she assured him that he wouldn’t be dying anytime soon, but that he would need a cane to walk for the rest of his life. Pat let out a sigh of relief- he would take helping the Captain walk over him dying any day.
As they laid together, Pat did something he never thought he would do again. He laid his heart on the line, though he was already sure of the answer, and asked the Captain if he would be his husband, resulting in a kiss that knocked him for six.
Smiling, Pat let his memory drift to their backyard wedding. He had had the big to-do with Carol with over a hundred people. With the Captain it was a small and intimate affair with only their closest friends and family. Humphrey married them, crying for half the time, with Fanny as the Captain’s matron of honor and Daley as Pat’s best man.
Thomas and Julian had argued for a whole day about who would be Pat’s best man before he put his foot down and said neither of them. It was such a small wedding that they could sit with Kitty and Mary, though they did allow Robin to be the flower boy much to the delight of the man. Thomas was still pouty after he heard that, but Julian held a soft spot a mile wide for Robin, and he quickly shut up about it. Besides, Daley did an excellent job and Thomas cried throughout his whole speech at the rehearsal dinner (as did everyone else).
Their vows told their story of the Captain all but begging Pat to let him love him, and Pat wanting to be loved again. Of their time spent together from their first evening walk in the forest to their trips to the mountains in springtime and the infamous walk in the rain where Pat finally figured out that he was in love again. Their trip to the English desert and the quiet ocean made an appearance, and Pat held the Captain’s hands as he told him that his love filled up all of his senses, and that he wanted that to be able to continue for the rest of his life.
Finally having all of his anger leave him, Pat made his way back to the house. Back to his husband who he cared for so dearly. As he unlocked the door and let himself in, he heard the tell tale sound of his husband moving as fast as he could, cane thunking down the hall.
“Patrick, I am so sorry,” the Captain said as he all but tackled him into a hug. Pat wrapped his arms around him tightly before leaning back and caressing his husband’s face. Using his thumb, he wiped the tears from his cheeks and stood on his tiptoes to place a gentle kiss on his lips.
“I’m sorry too love. Seems like your flair for dramatics is finally rubbing off on me.”
“Maybe so, but you weren’t answering your phone, and I kept calling and texting. I was so worried about you.”
“You old worry wort, I was just out on a walk to the lake. How’s about this though, I won’t storm off again without at least telling you where I am off to, and we sit down and have a chat about everything. Maybe come to a middle ground about poetry night?”
“I would endure poetry night every day for the rest of my life if it meant never feeling like that again.”
“Oh love,” Pat said, kissing his husband once more. “Let’s go sit for a cuddle then and push off talking until a bit later.”
Pressing their foreheads together, the Captain replied, “Sounds perfect dear.”
Taking Pat’s hand, he led his husband to their living room couch making sure that Pat laid in his arms snuggled up to his chest, never wanting to let go.