One Day After

by FelixthePhoenix7

Summary:

Peter Parker has shown up outside of The Hazbin Hotel and wanted to speak with Lucifer about a deal that was made a long time ago. Lucifer, naturally, never wanted to talk about it at all. It makes him nervous and uncomfortable, much like a lot of things these days. But sadly for the Big Boss of Hell Himself, this was inevitable as the sun rising.

Peter Parker wants out of the deal, Lucifer ALSO wants out of the deal...It's just it wasn't going to be as easy as either of them thought it was going to be.

Lucifer Morningstar was a man of many talents, he could hold a musical number spectacularly, he was a recently returning father and he was also the creator of his own personal brand of rubber ducks. It felt therapeutic to create something so simple and innocent in the comfort of his own office. Even when that office itself was completely swarmed with a hoard of various different ducks with various different gimmicks. There is nothing better than being close to completing yet another creation.

The former angel leaned in close, his tongue licking his upper lip in concentration and he felt a bead of sweat form on the top of his forehead. His tweezers inched ever closer to the rubber duck which was currently missing an eye. It was almost perfect. “Easy now. Easy…” Lucifer muttered to himself and slotted the eye in, much to his delight. He only had half a second to breathe a sigh of relief before there was a knock on the office door and it quickly swung open to reveal Charlie who strode inside.

The well dressed hotel owner beamed with a smile as she announced herself with a “Hey Dad!” which made her poor father jump in surprise, he scrambled the flailing rubber duck but was quickly caught before it could do some real damage. A powerful pair of red beams shot out of the duck’s eyes barely missing Charlie’s blonde hair which was left sizzling.

“Oh wow, Charmander!” Lucifer quickly placed down the duck and wiped his forehead. “I am…SO very sorry about that! You okay?”

“Um… I’m fine, Dad.” Charlie responded with a raised eyebrow. “A rubber duck that could shoot laser beams out of their eyes, huh?”

“Yeah!” The white suited father responded with a proud grin, “Cool, eh? Just imagine one of these bad boys in your bath!” His face fell as he started to stroke his chin. “I don’t know why I made it though. I mean, it may not be practical, but it’s cool. Eh? Eh?”

Charlie nodded in agreement. “I can’t imagine Vaggie wanting that for her baths anytime soon.” She quickly perked up again, “Anyway, someone’s here to see you. Some kind of Spider, like? Man? At least that’s what he told me. Don’t know what he’s talking about though.”

“O-Oh! G-Great! What did he say his name was?” Lucifer was forcing out a very disingenuous smile, his hands visibly shaking before he quickly grabbed himself a bottle of water and started to chug it down.

Charlie blinked at the sight for a moment before she decided to wave it off. “Yeah, um…He said It's Peter Parker. I mean, I don’t know who he is but-”

Lucifer visibly choked on his water at the sound of the name Peter Parker. Now that was a name he didn’t hear for a long, long time. His eyes visibly bulged out as he slammed a fist against his chest trying to force some air in there.

“You…Okay, Dad? I could get him to leave if you want-”

“No!” Lucifer interrupted with a raised hand. “I mean, no.” He repeated in a more calmer tone. “This is just some business I had to take care of. You know, like ‘hell stuff.’

“Hell stuff.” Charlie repeated with a nod.

“Yeah, like, I gotta handle some really big business. There is big business and there is THIS big business. You see where I’m gettin’ at, Charmander?”

“Oh. So it’s serious.” Charlie nodded in understanding as Lucifer copied her nodding. “I take it that it’s a thing you two have to deal with alone?”

“Yep.” The former angel answered quickly, “It’s just one of those things, y’know? Private stuff.”

Charlie nodded and motioned herself, zipping her lips before she gave her father a thumbs up before she left the office. Though only for a couple seconds before she came back. “You didn’t have him sell his soul to you, did you?”

Lucifer visibly stiffened and forced out a fake laugh. “Oh! Ha-ha! Char, Char! Wouldn’t you like to know, you cheeky little minx?!” He chuckled through gritted teeth, it was clear that he was VERY uncomfortable and he was quick to shove Charlie out of the door. “Just let Peter in, make him feel welcome. Y’know. All the good hotel stuff you do. Just, you know, PLEASE don’t talk to him about deals and souls!” Lucifer begged with his eyes and he fidgeted with his hands. “Love ya, bye!” He screamed quickly before he slammed the door in his daughter’s face.

The boss of Hell himself, groaned into his hands as he walked back over to his desk, still covered in rubber ducks. “It just HAD to be today, didn’t it? Well, Peter’s a superhero, so I guess it WAS inevitable that he would just die…again.”

Lucifer sat himself down and slammed his head against the desk with a muffled scream. Before he abruptly pulled his head back up. “You know what? Maybe it wouldn’t be about that. Maybe he’s just coming over to visit. You know, like Superheroes tend to do! Yeah! They visit Hell all the time!”
More and more bags became visible under his yellow eyes as his laughter did less and less to hide his denial. “I’ll be fine. Peter’s a good kid, we’ll all treat this nice and
civil and we will all be fine! Not a thing to worry about!”

It didn’t take long before the door creaked open. Lucifer tried his best to bring out his best smile, adjusted his suit and gulped before a young man walked into the door. Brown hair, brown eyes, and that physical build? Yep. He looked like a superhero to Lucifer. “Peter! Buddy! How have you been?!”

The man didn’t seem in much mood to talk and he quickly covered his face with his famous red and black webbed mask. “Okay, let’s make this quick.”

“Wait!” The Boss raised his hands up quickly, his body was completely stiff yet again. “I don’t wanna fight you. This couldn’t be about that…y’know?”

“The deal I had with you?” Spider-Man scoffed with a sarcastic tone, “Gee, what gave that away?!”

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence Lucifer hissed out a long “fffffffuck.” He scratched the back of his head as he shifted in his chair, “You know, I honestly thought I would have more time to try and confront this. Like, think about the right words to say like-”

“Say the deal’s null and void. That’s what you’re gonna say!”

“And I totally agree!” Lucifer nodded and pulled out a mystical contract with both his name and Peter’s before ripping it in two. “Though that is more of a symbolic gesture than anything else. Listen, Spider-Man.” Lucifer leaned in and poked out a spare chair in front of his desk and gestured to the superhero to sit. “As much as I would LOVE to break the deal with you, no questions asked, it’s just um…It’s much harder to do than just ripping up the contract. There’s like, a lot of red tape we both have to go through and it’s a whole ordeal, you don’t wanna know any of that stuff, like wow-.”

“But the deal can be undone, yes?” The eyeholes slitted as Spider-Man crossed his arms.

“Well, yeah! It’s just, y’know. It’ll take a while and now Disney’s involved” Lucifer sighed as he slumped down on the desk, visibly tired. “Do you have ANY idea how complicated those deals with them can get? You tell, Mr. Mouse ‘Yes, sir, no problem at all, sir. But the whole thing gets so tedious! And our deal is somehow worse than that!”

Lucifer didn’t need to see Peter’s eyes to know they’re rolling.

“But, but! I can find a way to make this work!” Lucifer pulled out a quill and pulled the magically repaired contract to the desk. “I could make loopholes so you won’t even have to worry about any of this! You cool with your marriage only being in fanfictions?”

“I-er, what?” Spider-Man leaned in close and scratched his head. “What are you talking about? Fanfictions?! And how do I know I could trust you!”

“Well you see…” Lucifer responded with a confident smirk. But secretly, he was hoping that an answer would come to him. But none came, he couldn’t shoot back with any reasonable response and he knew it. “That…That is… completely fair.”

“Well, it’s either you fix this or I get Doctor Strange and he’ll fix it for me instead!” Peter drilled a hole right through the duck dad’s soul with his stare and it was enough to make him shudder.

“Woah! No…Trust me on that one. No. You… You don't wanna do that. It just messes up the whole multiverse and it gets crazy. Good movie though.” Lucifer’s mouth felt dry when he noticed Peter’s hand ball into a fist. The dad just sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Okay, look. You…didn’t meet me at the best time in my life. You see that picture on the wall over there.” Lucifer pointed over to what looked like a renaissance painting of himself, a tall purple horned woman with a lovely smile, and a far younger Charlie sitting on her lap with a beaming smile. “I’ve…lost someone too, kid, Lilith and I…We broke up. It was the 90’s and we all know how crazy the drugs stuff can get so when we met up.”

“It was 2008.” Peter abruptly spoke in a flat tone. “We met back in 2008.”

“O-Oh!” Lucifer choked out before his eyes shrunk in a horrified realisation. “Oh no…Then how long was my bender? Then that would mean…” He stared out into the distance, everything faded from existence as a ringing started to pierce through his ears. “It can’t have been ten years then it could have been…”

“Um…you okay? You look like you’ve done some unspeakable horrors or something.” Peter leaned in close and gently pressed against Lucifer’s chest as he rocked back and forth a little. “You know what? I don’t think I wanna know what you did. Come on, come back to me.” He snapped his fingers in front of Lucifer’s weary face, which snapped him out of it.

“Huh. What was this about?”

“My marriage. With Mary Jane Watson?”

“Right! Right, right, yes!” Lucifer chuckled with a forced smile. “And not Gwen Stacey right?”

“I’m being really patient with you right now.” Spider-Man responded with a shake of his head.

“Oh! No! You’re right because she’s…! Yep, you’re right! It was a stupid question!” Lucifer wiped his sweat from his pale brow as he started to scribble down any loophole nonsense he could think of. “Word of advice, Peter.”

“Just call me Spider-Man.” Peter responded with a tired sigh.

“Right. Just, if you’re ever in L.A, and you hear about some shady dealer selling drugs in any language that isn’t on Earth, DON’T TAKE IT! It gives you bad trips that give you bad plans!”

“Like, forcing someone to forget their marriage for years and hurting their soul…”

“To recreate a marriage with a wife I’ve lost.” Lucifer finished and the two just stared at each other for an uncomfortably long amount of time. “Look, I never said it was a smart idea. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind! I had like, glowing evil eyes! I was big and red! That! Is what some drugs can do to you, kid. Captain America had it right!”

“Don’t call me, kid. I’m a mentor.” Peter responded with crossed arms and a causal balancing on the chair.

“And that’s great! I’m sure they’re lucky to have you.” Lucifer quickly shoved the re-written contract across the desk. “Look, this is the best I could do for now. Pick any loophole you want, just…be careful with the time travel and multiverse stuff.”

Peter shrugged and snatched the contract from the desk and stood up. “Well, if this is the best I could get for now. I’m sure you can get me something better…right?”

“Would I lie to you?” Lucifer cleared his throat and played with his hands.

“You cost me my daughter.” Peter flatly shot back.

“You don’t have to be married for that! You could still…Ride the fireman’s pole.”

“I don’t follow.” Peter replied,

“Get on Mr. Bones’ Wild Ride?

“Is this a bad Enthusiasm or something?” Peter snorted, holding back some laughter.
“Do the PG-13 Dance of Fun! I mean, what’s stopping you from having sex with Mary Jane?!”

Peter just blinked for a moment. “Dude, you promised that I would be ‘left alone for the rest of my days.’

Lucifer just shrugged, “I never said you had to commit.” A large webbed ball was quickly made and was thrown right into Lucifer’s gut that made him kneel over and groan in pain. “Okay…Ow- Fair…I deserved that. But…No need to be so aggressive, man! I mean, Aunt May would probably be on her way-”

The King of Hell looked up to see a sneering Spider-Man, holding another heavy looking ball. It looked closer to that of a beach ball and it was very quick in getting the message across. Lucifer just nodded in agreement. “Yep. Talking too much. You’re right. Juuuust one favour before you go?...Can you tell Frank Castle that when he…goes. Just have him stay as far away from me as possible?”

Spiderman opened the door for himself before he turned to question his deal maker…second time around. “You’re afraid of The Punisher?”

“He has guns so big it made my snake acquaintance feel inadequate! And he had an angel death ray! Can you imagine what Frank would do with everyone down here?!”

Peter shrugged and unmasked himself, “Well, I guess you gotta point. Can’t say I blame you for being a little creeped out by the guy. I gotta go. Got some pizzas to deliver…Assuming I’m not fired again.” Peter sighed with a forced laugh of his own, only to be stopped by a beaming smile of an adorable Charlie with a blank piece of paper.

“May I say, I loved your work as Bully Magiure!” Charlie squealed in excitement, as Peter turned back to Lucifer with a baffled expression.

“Trust me, it’s just faster to give her the autograph and run. The multiverse is crazy out there.”

“Yeah…you’re telling me.” Peter agreed.

END