Altar boy

by Lynx48

Summary:

Sometimes it only takes one action, one single mistake, to change the course of your life forever. That’s the lesson that Sasuke had to learn the hard way, after being peer pressured let to him getting legally kidnapped. His life seemed to stop and stay frozen in the same spot for four years, while everyone else seemed to live and move on with their lives, and after finally being allowed to live again, Sasuke struggled to adjust to civilian life.

Chapter 1

The hard wood of the bench had already begun to dig uncomfortably into his behind. Naruto huffed and shifted in his seat, his gaze falling into his orange sneakers on the stone ground. His right leg bouncing in place was the only movement he could do for the past half hour. Then a hand gently rested on his right thigh, bringing his shaking leg to a stop. Naruto looked down at the large palm on his black pants and looked up at the forearm, the bicep hidden underneath a navy jacket, shoulders, and his father's face. His dad's expression was carefully neutral. The man seemed calm as he looked at the altar in the front of the church. The hand on his thigh being the only sign of his dad’s distaste for Naruto’s constant jittering. Naruto sighed and looked to his left where his mom was sitting, just as right and straight as his dad was.

“How much time is left?” He whispered to his mother. The woman didn’t immediately say anything back to him and Naruto opened his mouth to ask again when his mom lifted the sleeve of her dress and looked down at her watch.

“10 more minutes.” She whispered back and Naruto let out a more relaxed breath as he was told how much longer he’d have to sit here.

Naruto looked away from his mother and past the people sitting in front of him. His eyes landed on the mighty golden altar in front and a black-haired boy sitting next to it on a chair. There were six boys in total. Three on each side of the altar but Naruto’s attention was on only one of them. The boy sat upright, like a true alter boy should. Sitting with his back straight, his palms on his thighs, and looking at the priest with a serious expression on his face. It couldn’t have been comfortable to sit like that, no doubt such strict behavior had been learned through many excruciating hours spent at the church. Sitting as if God was looking right at him as if his every tiny movement and expression would be seen. And partly it was truly seen, only not by God but by Naruto.

The moment the priest finally finished his speech and walked out, with the alter boys following closely behind him Naruto felt like he could breathe lighter. The moment the other people started to slowly get up from the wooden benches Naruto was first to jump to his feet and inform his parents that he was going to find his friends before quickly scurrying off into the crowd of people.

Naruto forced himself to the front, pushed past the people leaving and he was finally outside. He noticed a familiar face standing near the doors and with a smile on his face he walked up to the boy and his sister.

“Hey,” he said to the boy. “Let’s go?” It sounded more like an encouragement rather than a question as Naruto was already taking a step back from them.

“Kiba.” The older girl spoke up, her voice full of annoyance. “Don’t forget that mom told you not to run off anywhere far.”

“We won’t be far!” Kiba answered with a groan, trying to convince his sister. “We’ll be right around the corner.” He said and before the older girl could say anything back the two twelve-year-olds ran around the building where the trees were thicker.

Naruto and Kiba walked into the forest until the only sign that there were people nearby was the sounds of their chatter. Naruto let out a little noise as he jumped up and grabbed onto a lower branch. The boy pulled himself up and sat down, grinning victoriously as he looked down at Kiba.

“Where’s Akamaru?” Naruto asked just as Kiba jumped up and grabbed onto the same branch that Naruto was sitting on, forcing the boys to lean lower to the ground, the tree letting out dangerous squeaks.

“At home.” Kiba answered as he swung his legs trying to pull himself up. “Mom didn’t let me bring ‘im.” Naruto hummed in answer and the sound of approaching footsteps got his attention. He looked up and from in between the trees Shikamaru and Choji came out. The two boys walked closer to them and Kiba let go of the branch to stand and face them.

“Hey,” Naruto greeted the two boys who also had just been allowed to have some free time while the parents greeted one another and talked. The two boys answered Naruto and Shikamaru stuck his hand into his pocket. The brown haired boy grinned as he pulled out a cigarette from his pocket.

“Look what I swiped from my dad.” Naruto’s eyes widened and he jumped down from the branch.

“No way.” His eyes practically shined as he looked closer. Naruto could hear Kiba mutter an astonished ‘woah.’ The four boys huddled together around the little white stick, practically holding their breaths from the excitement.

“Did you take a lighter?” Naruto asked as he looked up at Shikamaru.

“No. My dad used matches.” Shikamaru explained as he took out the little box from his pocket. “So I took a box from the kitchen.”

“We’ll go on! Light it!” Kiba explained, not quite being able to keep his voice in a whisper from the adrenaline running through his veins. “We probably only have a few minutes until we’re called back.” Shikamaru didn’t argue as he handed the cigarette to Choji while he lit the match. He brought the flame to the end of the cigarette and pulled back when it started to smoke. Shikamaru shook the match in the air until the flame went out and all of the four boys looked down at the cigarette with hungry anticipation.

“C’mon, do it.” Naruto whispered. Choji looked up at the three of them, then back at the cigarette and swallowed. He brought the filter to his lips and sucked. Choji lowered the cigarette looked at it and passed it to Shikamaru. The other boy didn’t hesitate to take it and put it to his lips. Shikamaru sucked in a breath and coughed. He pulled the cigarette away from himself and without his other hand on his chest.

“Fuck…” he muttered as he handed Naruto the cigarette. Naruto took it with a bit more caution, but inside he thought that he was going to do a better job than Shamar did. He put the cigarette to his lips and sucked. The smoke went straight to his lungs, burning his bronchi and Naruto pulled the cigarette away and coughed, tears welling in his eyes. Kiba took the cigarette from Naruto without any complaints and repeated the motion only he was able to hold in his cough better.

The boys passed the cigarette around, getting high on adrenaline from the fear of getting caught and the nicotine from the cigarette when loud footsteps startled them. Naruto was just about to take the cigarette from Shikamaru, but when he heard the noise, he pushed the secret back to the boy who hid it behind his back, getting ready to throw it away. It appeared from in between the trees they all sighed a relieved breath.

“Jesus, alter boy, don’t scare us like that.” Naruto muttered and took the cigarette from Shikamaru. Sasuke walked up to them with a confused look on his face but when his eyes landed on the cigarette his brows furrowed and he stood a step away from their little circle.

“Where were you?” Choji asked while Kiba took the cigarette from Naruto while the blonde boy coughed.

“Had some business with the priest…” Sasuke answered without looking at the bigger boy, his worried eyes locked on Kiba and Naruto. “And I couldn’t find you guys in the front yard… what are you doing?” He asked, his voice full of distaste.

“What do you think?” Kiba answered with a smug grin. “Shikamaru stole it from his dad.” Sasuke frowned as he looked at the brown haired boy, who sucked on the almost finished cigarette. Shikamaru breathed out a puff of smoke and turned to look at Sasuke, holding the cigarette out for him.

“Want to try?”

“No.” Sasuke took a step back as if he was physically repulsed by the cigarette.

“C’mon.” Naruto urged. “It’s fun. Try it!”

“I don’t want to.” Sasuke lowered his voice as if someone could hear them. “My dad would literally kill me if he found out that I smoked.” Naruto rolled his eyes.

“So would our parents. C’mon, Sasuke, don’t be a scaredy cat. We gotta try out everything in life.” Naruto grinned and Sasuke looked up at his friends and their expecting faces, then at the cigarette. He sighed and reluctantly took the thing in between his fingers.

Sasuke brought it to his lips and sucked in a breath, the first second merely holding a bit in his mouth before sucking in more and letting it go down to his lungs. Sasuke coughed and pushed the cigarette towards the other boys as he brought his other hand to his mouth. When Sasuke was finally able to stand up straighter, his eyes were teary as he looked at Naruto take the last puff of the cigarette.

“Well, what’d you think?” Kiba asked as he watched Naruto throw the butt on the ground and stomp on it.

“It was horrible.” Sasuke muttered under his breath as he wiped his wet lips with the back of his hand.

“Kiba!” The shout from behind the trees startled the boys, making Sasuke jump with how hard he flinched.

“Shit,” Kiba cursed under his breath and ran past Sasuke, quickly disappearing behind the trees to not keep his mother waiting any longer. The rest of the boys followed closely behind.

There weren’t as many people out in the front yard of the church as only their parents had stayed behind, no doubt waiting and looking for them. Naruto saw his mom and dad next to Sasuke’s parents, their mothers most likely being the ones to come together to talk. Naruto said a quick goodbye to his friends as each one went in different directions towards the waiting adults and just as he came closer, saying a breathless ‘hello’ to Mikoto and Fugaku. The woman smiled at him before answering and turned to say goodbye to his mom, Fugako following suit with his dad and then the two families split, going in different directions towards their cars.

When Naruto got home he walked past their German shepherd mix, Kurama, and went straight to his room. Naruto took off his jacket and pants, putting on more comfortable and home appropriate trainers. Naruto threw his church clothes on his desk chair and took his Nintendo Switch from the desk. Naruto jumped onto his bed and got comfortable, planning on spending his Sunday playing games and relaxing.

“Naruto, don’t forget to do your homework!” He heard his mother shout from somewhere in the house and answer with a dismissive

“Yeah, yeah,”

The trip back home for Sasuke wasn’t as relaxing. Everyone was quiet in the car, only the radio playing a barely audible song that no one was truly paying attention to. The boy sat still and quiet, following his brother’s lead, Sasuke stared out the window, without really looking at anything passing by.

“What did pastor Danzo say after the ceremony?” Sasuke looked up at the rearview mirror where he met his father’s eyes when he heard the man’s low tone of voice.

“He said that I’ll have to come Monday and Tuesday evening. Help teach the little kids for their first communion.” Sasuke lowered his eyes to his hands on his lap when he spoke. Even though he didn’t see it, he knew that his father looked back at the road, the heaviness of the man’s gaze disappearing. Sasuke was aware that his dad knew what Danzo told him, after all, he always went to the back after the ceremony, to have a word with the man. But that never stopped Fugaku from asking, to make sure that Sasuke remembered and wasn’t lying about anything.

It’s not even like Sasuke had ever lied about going to church and then went somewhere else. That was simply what kind of man Fugaku was. When they pulled into the driveway Sasuke waited a few seconds so that his father would get out of the car first and it wouldn't look like Sasuke was rushing or running out of the car. The frown lines on his father’s brow seemed even more furrowed and Sasuke lowered his eyes to the ground when he saw that his dad was frowning, clearly dissatisfied with something. His father stopped his mom by the car to ask her something while Sasuke stood behind Itachi, waiting for the older boy to unlock the front door. Sasuke remembered the cigarette when he stepped inside and his mouth went dry.

He put his shoes neatly next to his brother and hurried past the older boy, earning himself a low grumble from Itachi but he didn't care as he rushed to the bathroom. Sasuke turned on the water and washed his hands, practically scrubbing them with the soap. He hadn't even taken more than one breath and he wasn't even around the other boys long enough for their smoke to rub onto him. So his father couldn't be upset because of that. He couldn't have noticed. Sasuke dried his hands on a towel and stepped out of the bathroom. At the end of the hall, he saw his father talking with Itachi. Sasuke lowered his eyes to the ground and turned towards his bedroom but before he could take more than three steps, his father’s voice stopped him.

“Sasuke, come here.” His father’s voice hadn't raised in volume, yet the angry tone of voice made it sound booming. Sasuke found himself unable to swallow as his throat felt dry. He felt as if his heart and legs were shaking, either one of them getting ready to give out.

Sasuke clenched his fists together, feeling the dampness there as he walked towards his brother and Itachi. Sasuke stayed two steps away from them, keeping a safe distance from them both but that was clearly the wrong thing to do.

“Come here, boy.” Sasuke gulped the thick mass at the back of his throat but it refused to go down. With reluctant but quick steps Sasuke got closer, keeping his eyes on the ground, he felt lightheaded but he tried to stand still and not sway from side to side. Sasuke flinched when his father leaned down and got closer to his face, taking a few sniffs. His dad stood up straight again and didn’t even look at his older son when he said,

“You can go now, Itachi.” His brother didn’t waste a second and did as he was told. Itachi shut his bedroom door at the end of the hall and Sasuke felt trapped. He knew. His dad knew. He noticed. That officer's sense of smell be damned. Damn Naruto and his other friends for offering Sasuke that cigarette. And most importantly damn him for giving in to his urges to rebel and accepting. His father let out a deep breath that sounded like a sigh and Sasuke wasn’t sure if it was because his father was so angry that he was at a loss for words or because he had so many things to yell that Fugaku didn’t know where to start.

“Smoking.” His father said in an accusatory tone but he wasn't yelling just yet and Sasuke felt like he wanted to curl in on himself. “What on God’s green earth possessed you to try that.” Sasuke kept his eyes on the ground and didn’t answer, feeling too choked up to say anything but his dad seemed to take it as further disrespect. “Answer me, boy!” Sasuke flinched when his dad raised his voice.

“I don’t know.” His father sighed.

“You don't know.” The man repeated. “You don’t know how a cigarette got into your mouth?” Sasuke swallowed and licked his lips, wetting the dry skin.

“No.” His heart was racing as he looked up at his father. “I don't remember.” A moment of silence settled between them and Sasuke waited for his father to lash out, to yell at him, to grab him, or cause any other type of harm but in that mere moment of silence a part of Sasuke hoped that he won. That this will be enough. That his father would give up and let Sasuke walk off scotch-free from this. But of course, that little glimmer of hope was completely put out when his father spoke again.

“You don’t remember, huh?” Sasuke wanted to lower his gaze to the ground, suddenly looking his father in the eyes felt too much like a burden. “Well, maybe this will help you remember.”

The hand on his forearm was rough and the walk to his parents’ bedroom felt like it lasted an eternity and a mere moment at the same time. He wanted to dig his heels into the ground, he wanted to scream and demand his father to let him go, he wanted to fight back, but the previous times had already proven that all these things would be futile. It doesn't matter if he resists or if he goes quietly the result will be the same. The door was shut behind him and Sasuke was trapped in the bedroom together with his father. This felt worse than the hallway as this felt like he was truly facing his executioner.

“You know how this goes.” Fugaku spoke as he walked to his wardrobe and opened the doors. Sasuke lowered his gaze and hesitated, barely being able to convince his trembling limbs to move, but he managed to bring his shaking arms up to the button of his pants. It was difficult to get his fingers to move and unbutton his pants and by the time he did it and pulled his zipper down, his father was already standing in front of him a belt in his hands.

Sasuke felt a shiver run down his spine when he saw the leather. He pulled his pants down together with his underwear and turned around to face the wall. Sasuke put his palms against the gray wall and took in a breath to steady himself but before he could even fully breathe in he felt the hot pain of leather kissing his skin. Sasuke hissed, biting his lip. His fingers twitched against the wall but he stayed still and silent as stripes of red painted his pale behind. Tears welled in his eyes but Sasuke forced himself to swallow him down. He was doing well until his father must've hit him on the same spot twice and Sasuke winced taking a step closer to the wall, his body trying to move him further away from pain.

But that didn't stop his father and the hits continued until his skin felt raw. The sound of leather striking skin and the feeling of hot needles prickling him from underneath his skin were the only things that he could focus on as Sasuke had long lost count of the times he’d been hit. And his father hadn’t told him to count out loud which meant they would be going at this until his father felt satisfied and that could mean a long and painful punishment for Sasuke.

“Remember now?” Sasuke swallowed, trying not to wince at the painful sting in his throat.

“No.” He answered, his voice hoarse. Sasuke heard his father sigh and that was the only warning he got before the punishment continued.

He was holding his tears back better than he had expected and he hadn’t made any big flinches for a good amount of time but he was practically pushing himself from the wall, the cold cement digging into the palms of his hands, to stay still. Then a hit didn't come. A second passed, then another and he wasn't hit. Subconsciously Sasuke relaxed his muscles and let out a little breath. He knew that he was trembling and that his lip was bitten raw. By the feel of his skin, his lip was probably not the only thing that looked raw.

Sasuke stayed still, forcing himself not to move. Then he heard his father fold the belt and Sasuke braced himself for the sound of leather snapping against his skin but instead, he heard his father’s voice.

“Remember?” Sasuke let out a trembling breath and slowly shook his head.

“No.”

“Turn around.” Sasuke pushed himself off the wall and turned around. His palms felt damp, his lip and his bottom hurt and his pants were still around his ankles but Sasuke didn’t move to fix them, instead, he followed his father’s orders and turned around to look at the man. “Show me your hands.” Sasuke clenched his jaw and lifted his hands, his palms facing downwards and he mentally braced himself for the pain. He couldn't control his flinch when the belt landed on his fingers but he forced his hands to stay up.

This time Sasuke didn’t even try to control or conceal his flinches and little jumps as the belt kept coming down on his hands until the skin there had turned red everywhere around his fingers and knuckles. Once again he had lost count around the sixt hit but his father must've done ten before finally deciding that Sasuke had enough and he lowered the belt, a long and tired sigh escaping him as he looked down at his son.

“Fix yourself up and come to the kitchen.” Sasuke sniffled and didn't hesitate even for a second. He pulled up his pants and underwear, the material dragging painfully against his skin. Sasuke left his parent's bedroom and quickly entered his room.

When the door shut, the fight to keep his tears from falling became harder. Sasuke took in a deep breath and swallowed, his face pinching in pain, not only from the physical pain but from the emotional torment he was left in. He was upset, he was in pain and most importantly he was angry. Angry at God for giving him that opportunity and even angrier at himself for giving in.

Sasuke opened his wardrobe and pulled out a dark navy t-shirt and white shorts. The shorts were big and looked baggy on him, but that gave him at least a bit of relief. As the loose material didn’t touch his aching skin. Sasuke raised his hand to rub at his teary eyes with the back of his palm and he winced when he touched the red skin on his knuckles. Sasuke lowered his hands down and looked at them. He was still trembling and sniffling.

He had barely managed to keep himself together and Sasuke was angry at himself for it. He was upset that he was stupid enough to land in this situation and even more irritated that he couldn’t properly follow his father's commands. Sasuke sniffled, took in one last steadying breath, and left his bedroom. Sasuke walked down the hall to the kitchen, where his father and brother were already sitting. He sat down in his place and winced when the hard material of the chair pressed against his sore bottom. His mother was by the counter putting their lunch on their plates. Mikoto served Fugaku first, then Itachi but when she moved to get Sasuke’s plate, his father stopped her.

“Thieves don’t get to eat with the family.” Sasuke’s eyes widened and he looked up at his father, unable to believe that what he heard was correct. But Fugaku’s face was serious and the man had meant what he said. Sasuke’s brows furrowed in worry as he looked up at Mikoto.

“Mother?” He asked, his voice hesitant and full of unease but the woman didn’t answer and didn’t take his plate. Mikoto filled her plate and sat down. The disappointment in her eyes was evident, even if she didn’t voice it. Sasuke swallowed, his throat stinging once again, and looked down at his plate.

Fugaku put his hands in front of him and said grace, like he did before every meal, the words of the prayer being etched into Sasuke’s mind, only this time, by the end of it Fugaku added.

“And help lead the troubled youth to the path of redemption. Amen.” Fugaku lowered his hands and took his elbows off the table. Everyone took their utensil, except for Sasuke, and began eating, while the youngest boy looked at his empty plate. But instead of hunger swirling in his mind, it was the image of his mother’s sad eyes that he couldn’t get out of his head.

“I didn’t steal it.” Sasuke said, his voice so quiet it could’ve been mistaken for muttering.

“What?” His father answered, clearly unhappy that their meal was being interrupted with talk.

“I didn’t steal it.” Sasuke repeated, louder this time, and looked up at his father's frowning face.

“Then where did you find it?” Sasuke lowered his gaze down, reluctant to speak but then, from somewhere he didn’t even know where he managed to find the courage to look his father in the eye when he said:

“I found it. On the ground, behind the church.” Everyone was silent until his father sighed.

“Acting like a vagrant now too.” Sasuke fought the urge to wince at his father’s words while the man shook his head and looked down at his food before raising his eyes to look at his son again. “What did we do wrong to raise such a hoodlum.” Sasuke lowered his gaze, shame painting his cheeks pink. Fugaku sighed and got back to his food. But the silence lasted merely for a few seconds as the man looked up at his wife and spoke to her. “I spoke with Priest Danzo before we left.” Sasuke raised his eyes, curiosity evident on his face.

“He told me about an organization that a friend of his owns.” Itachi raised his eyes while silently chewing on his food. “It’s a boarding school that focuses on nature therapy instead of the traditional teaching methods.”

“Nature therapy?” Mikoto asked, her voice gentle as her question urged her husband to continue. Fugaku hummed as he swallowed a bite of food.

“Hikes, camping, and working on a farm while simultaneously getting the same lessons as in school, only they’re taught outside.”

“Sounds more like a summer camp than a boarding school.” Itachi commented, earning an agreement from Fugako.

“I thought so too, but Danzo assured me that this school has the highest percentage of effectively putting delinquents back on their feet as outstanding participants of the community.” Mikoto hummed while Sasuke sat quietly, not liking where this conversation was going to lead them. With the latest incidents, it couldn’t mean anything good.

Chapter 2

Summary:

Our story begins as Sasuke is taken from his home and faces the cruelty of strangers

Naruto yawned as he made his way through the school halls. He brushed his hand through his blond hair and opened his classroom door. Most students were already in class, sitting in their seats, and with a grin on his face Naruto went to the back of the class where his friends were. Naruto sat down in his seat next to Sasuke. The black haired boy didn’t immediately turn to look at Naruto, as he stared out the window, something clearly on his mind. Naruto turned around in his seat to face Kiba and Shino who were sitting at the desk behind them.

“Did you do the math homework?” Kiba raised his head from the desk, where he had been laying, his hood covering his dark unruly hair.

“Found who to ask…” Kiba muttered and turned his head to the side where Shikamaru and Choji were sitting. “Ask Shikamaru. I probably did it wrong.”

“I don’t need it to be done good, I just need it to be done!” Naruto insisted, hoping to get a chance to write down the answers while the teacher still hadn’t come. Kiba groaned.

“If Iruka notices that you copied off of me and fails us both again my mom will skin me.”

“C’mon, Kiba, please! I don't ask for a lot, do I?” Kiba still seemed reluctant to give in as he turned his head away, not meeting Naruto’s pleading eyes. After a second of silence, Naruto huffed and turned to Sasuke, who still hadn’t acknowledged him. “Sasuke, can I copy off you?” When the boy didn’t immediately turn to him Naruto frowned. “Sasuke!” He said, his tone of voice louder this time which made the raven haired boy flinch and turn to face Naruto. Sasuke frowned at Naruto’s grin, but it held no actual irritation or annoyance.

“What?”

“Can I copy your math homework?”

“No.” The answer was plain and simple and Sasuke turned his gaze back to the window.

“What? Why not? C’mon…” Naruto whined when he was once again turned down.

“You can copy off me.” Naruto lit up.

“Really? Thanks, Shino!” The other boy slid his math notebook over to Naruto. Kiba rested his head against the palm of his hand, watching with a lazy expression, Naruto took the notebook and found the right page. Then Kiba’s eyes lowered to his desk where he saw a small spider crawl next to Shino.

“Shit!” Kiba exclaimed and jumped from his seat. That got the attention of the people around him and Kiba could feel everyone's eyes on him. Sasuke’s gaze lowered from Kiba to the place the other boy was staring at and he flinched when he saw the spider next to Shino.

“Don’t tell me that you’re scared.” Shino chuckled as he gathered the little thing into his palm. Sasuke felt a shiver go down his spine at the sight.

“Creepy.” Sasuke heard Naruto mutter, but his voice was full of excitement and curiosity. Shino stood up carrying the spider in his hand and walked over to the window.

“Throw it out, Shino!” Sasuke heard Ino shout from behind him. But it didn’t seem like the boy had been waiting for that plea as he was already reaching for the handle on the window. Shino opened the window and gently put the small spider onto the windowsill. When the window was shut it felt like the whole atmosphere in class relaxed as Kiba sat down back in his seat and Sasuke turned around to face the blackboard. And their school day started. When all classes had finished sasuke was putting his coursebook into his backpack when Naruto and Kiba approached him.

“We’re going to meet some friend by the forest, wanna come?” Sasuke raised his brow in question.

“Who?” Naruto shrugged.

“Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, Sakura…” Naruto grinned at the last name. Sasuke exhaled an amused breath. His crush on the girl couldn’t be more obvious. “We’ll just meet up and hang out after school. So are you coming?” He couldn’t, even if he wanted to, but he didn’t. His bottom and fingers were still sore today, and it cast hanging out with his friends in an unpleasant light.

“I can’t.” Sasuke looked back at his backpack and closed it, but he was still able to catch Naruto’s disappointed frown and Kiba’s indifferent look.

“Aw… why not?” Sasuke let out a breath that sounded like a sigh as he put his backpack over his shoulder.

He had to go help Danzo in the evening, which meant that if he didn’t go home now he wouldn’t be able to finish his homework in time. And Sasuke wasn’t a fan of staying up late doing homework and even more so not doing homework at all. If he ever were to miss an assignment and his father were to find out… A shiver ran down Sasuke’s spine at the mere idea of it. But he didn’t want his friends to know the true reason why he couldn’t go out. It was embarrassing, being known as the smart kid because he was a nerd. Shikamaru at least didn’t have that reputation, because he’s a genius and doesn’t even have to try to get good grades. Sasuke thought with a pang of jealousy in his chest.

“I’m busy.” Sasuke answered plainly and moved to walk past the two boys in front of him when Kiba scoffed.

“Doing what exactly? Your homework.” Kiba mocked him with a grin on his face, which Naruto soon copied.
“Yeah.” The blonde boy said, now smiling too. “After yesterday I thought you were cool. But I guess not.” Sasuke felt his cheeks heat as he glared at his shoes.

“I have to help the priest.” Kiba scoffed again while Naruto seemed disappointed.

“C’mon, altar boy.” Naruto took a step closer to him. “You help him almost every day. When do you ever hang out with friends?” Sasuke didn’t answer, because he knew that what Naruto was saying was true and he hated that fact. He wanted to join them, he wanted to have fun and relax, but he knew that he couldn’t. If his father noticed? Or what if his brother snitched? He wanted to, but the sound of his father’s leather belt deterred him from this idea. Sasuke sighed and looked over his shoulder to meet Naruto’s blue eyes.

“You’re so annoying, Naruto.” He muttered with a brave grin on his face. “I told you I can’t.” Sasuke said, his words final, and turned to leave the classroom. Acting tough in front of his friends and like he had better things to do seemed like a much better idea at the time. He didn’t want his friends to think of him as someone who only cares about their studies or is too scared and weak to rebel against their father. But that’s simply who Sasuke was and he didn’t want his friends to see him in that light.

Helping Danzo teach the little kids and then helping clean up in the church took longer than Sasuke had expected and by the time he was walking home it was already dark outside. The air felt comfortably cool on his face while everything else was hidden under layers of a shirt, a sweater, and a jacket. It always got cold quickly in autumn in Konoha, but Sasuke liked this weather. It felt pleasant, especially walking in the evening when everything was calm and peaceful, the only sign of human life being the lights turned on in houses and cars passing by.

When Sasuke entered his home it was well past 8 pm. His parents were in their room while his brother was most likely in his bedroom. Sasuke was quiet as he took off his shoes and jacket and went to his room. He had missed dinner and he knew that if he were to go down to the kitchen now, his father wouldn’t be happy. There’s a designated time for everything and it was simply too late to eat dinner. So for the second day in a row, Sasuke went by without a meal. Yesterday it was lunch, and today- dinner. But it wasn’t all that bad, Sasuke told himself as he went into the bathroom to start getting ready for bed.

He laid down in bed a few minutes before 9 pm. And ten minutes must’ve passed when his mom opened his bedroom door to check if he was sleeping. The woman quietly walked over to his bed and leaned down to kiss his forehead, which Sasuke turned away from, with no true anger or irritation.

“Mother…” He whispered. “I’m too big for that now.” Mikoto only smiled at his words and pet through his hair.

“I made pancakes for dinner. Do you want some?” Sasuke shook his head and tried to ignore the emptiness in his stomach. He didn’t want his dad to catch him in the kitchen after bet time.

“No. I’ll leave them for breakfast tomorrow.” Mikoto smiled but the smile seemed sad as it didn’t reach her eyes, though Sasuke didn’t let it bother him as he brushed it off as a trick of light from the hallway.

“I can bring you some now if you want.” Sasuke hesitated but shook his head again.

“No. Thank you.” Mikoto didn’t push further as she brushed through her son’s hair again and wished him a good night. Sasuke smiled at his mom and said the same thing back. The woman left and closed his bedroom door, drowning his room in darkness. Sasuke sighed and turned on his side, trying to find a more comfortable position to lay in.

The next time he woke up it was because of noises coming from behind his bedroom door. Sasuke blinked, his eyelids feeling heavy against his dry eyes. He looked at the door where, from underneath it, light from the hall shone into the room and undoubtedly, Sasuke heard his father talking with someone. Sasuke huffed and rolled onto his back. It was late. Why was someone here? And it wasn’t just a man. Sasuke furrowed his brows when he heard a woman talk too, her voice didn’t sound familiar so it couldn’t have been his mother or someone he knew.

Then his bedroom door burst open and a man charged inside. Sasuke jumped to sit up, his startled heart beat so quickly it felt as if it was hitting against his ribs. Before he could even speak or understand what was happening the man came to his side and roughly pushed him by the shoulder, almost making him stumble out of bed.

“Get up!” He ordered and Sasuke flinched at his tone of voice. His brows were furrowed and eyes wide as he hesitantly moved, but it seemed not to be quick enough for the man as this time he grabbed Sasuke by the collar of his nightshirt and pulled him out of bed, pushing him to the center of the room.

“Move it.” The man practically growled while Sasuke tripped over his own feet but somehow managed not to fall to the ground. He could see his parents standing in the hall, a redhead woman next to them, as they watched the situation unfold in his room.

“Mother?” Sasuke questioned, his voice weak and trembling as he looked at his parents, hoping they would stop this, or at least tell him what was happening. But he didn’t get an answer, only another rough shove toward his bedroom door.

“C’mon, move, dammit.” Sasuke was confused, but followed the order, taking reluctant steps into the hall. That’s when he felt both of his hands get snatched and pulled behind his back. His wrists were caught and held by the man as he led Sasuke down a hall like a criminal. Sasuke felt his throat sting as he looked at his parents and the fact that they didn’t seem even the slightest bit surprised at this made Sasuke’s heart break. Shame and fear bubbled inside his chest.

Sasuke was led to the foyer where the man let go of his wrists and instructed him to put on his shoes. One last time Sasuke turned his head to look at his parents. At least his mother seemed to have the slightest hint of worry in her eyes but they both stood at the other side of the hall, looking at Sasuke as if he deserved every second of this.

“C’mon!” Another shove forced Sasuke to take his teary eyes away from his parents and hurry to put on his shoes. Once both laces were tied the man didn’t waste any time allowing Sasuke to say goodbye to his parents and pushed the boy out the front door.

Just as the front door was closing shut behind them Sasuke managed to turn his head and get one last glance at his parents and his confused brother coming out of his room. The man wasn’t gentle as he pulled Sasuke toward a gray van parked next to their house. Sasuke stumbled over his feet, still confused and scared, as he walked towards the car. The door on the back was opened and Sasuke was pushed inside. Two men were in it, twins, Sasuke noted. One of them immediately got to work and tied Sasuke’s hand behind his back. He didn’t struggle or resist as the scratchy rope was looped around his wrists, still far too confused to understand what was even happening, much less try and fight back.

His mother did not raise him to use violence to get what he wanted and if his father were to find out that he did something as despicable as hitting this man, Sasuke was sure he would not be able to sit for a few days. Sasuke swallowed and glanced at the man as he sat down next to his brother with a huff. Suddenly the engine roared and he nearly fell back when the van started moving. Where were they going? Why did they take him away from home? Will they come back? Sasuke looked at the door that was no doubt locked. Maybe his parents hired these people to scare him. Maybe they will do a lap around the neighborhood and bring him back home.

But they continued driving. The car didn’t stop, and Sasuke was beginning to think he might not return home tonight. He looked at the two men who were sitting sideways from him. They couldn’t be kidnappers. His parents were home, they saw what was happening and they didn’t stop this. There’s no doubt that his parents know these people.

“What?” Sasuke fought the urge to look down when one of the men spoke to him. He swallowed, trying to wet his dry mouth.

“Where are you taking me?” Sasuke’s voice trembled but he spoke without stuttering or looking away. The man only sighed and looked away from Sasuke, as if the boy hadn’t said anything at all.

Sasuke blinked and looked down at the floor. He wanted to see his mom again. He wanted her to hug him and tell him everything would be fine. That this was all just a big misunderstanding. He glanced up at the windows of the van. Every few seconds the yellow light of a street lamp got inside. From the turns and the feeling of the road Sasuke didn’t know where they were going but one thing was for certain, they were no longer in his neighborhood.

“I’m cold.” He said again, which was true. He was cold, scared, and alone. His words went unanswered again and Sasuke had to take a steadying deep breath to control the tears welling in his eyes. He looked at the door again. He had to get out.

He needed to find a way to get out and get back to his family. The only way out was through the door, but even if it were unlocked, he doubted he’d be able to open it with his hands tied behind his back. Sasuke squirmed trying to pull his hands free but he was bound tightly. The rope dug painfully into his wrists, leaving an uncomfortable burning feeling and it didn’t budge one bit. Sasuke let out a frustrated breath. He could still try to run at the door as quickly as he could maybe it would give out under the force of his weight.

He’d fall out into the street and then he’d have to run as fast as his legs would carry him. Maybe he could manage to run away. Sasuke looked at the two men sitting not far from him. Or maybe he’d get caught before he could even reach the door. Even if they looked like they were bored and this whole situation was of no interest to them, Sasuke was sure that if he tried anything they would be quick in putting him back in the same spot that he was in now.

With his escape plans no longer looking so promising Sasuke could only sit silently and wait until they would finally arrive at their destination. None of his questions were answered and he was left alone only with his thoughts to keep him company. His body felt tired, clearly feeling the effects of staying past his bedtime but his mind wasn’t clouded with sleep as this whole citation still seemed too unclear and scary. He wasn’t sure how much time passed. Could have been hours, could have been merely half an hour but at some point during the trip the street lamps disappeared and Sasuke could no longer see any light coming from outside which could only mean that they were getting farther away from the city.

Sasuke squirmed, allowing himself to sit in a more comfortable position as his behind tingled from having been sitting in the same spot for so long. His fingers were cold and his shoulders ached but there was no way that he could stretch his arms. Asking the men to untie him felt useless as Sasuke didn’t want to be ignored again. When the dark and quiet atmosphere finally seemed to make his sore muscles relax and his racing mind calm down, Sasuke found himself being lured by the comfort of sleep. But before he could even fully close his eyes and allow himself some rest gravity pulled Sasuke to the side as the car came to a stop.

He opened his eyes, blinking away any lingering hints of sleep. Sasuke was back to being conscious and completely aware of his surroundings. He looked at the two men who seemed to be completely alert now too. Sasuke heard voices and the front car doors opened and shut. That seemed to be their sign as the twins got up from their seats and while one opened the car door the other pushed Sasuke to get up.

“Out.” He ordered and Sasuke followed without hesitation, clumsily climbing out of the van after the first twin.

He stood dumbfounded as he was finally let out into the cold night air. He shivered but his confusion seemed to have taken a bigger part of his mind as the chill didn’t seem to bother him all that much. The air felt fresh, somehow cleaner than how he remembered before stepping into the van and that was easily explained by the giant trees surrounding him. They seemed to be in a forest with no hint of any light or life anywhere around. Sasuke swallowed, not liking the idea of being in a forest, tied up, with a bunch of strangers, after he was kidnapped out of his bedroom.

“Kidomaru, you’ll get the kid, right?” He heard the woman ask which immediately got his mind away from the trees. The strangers were moving, getting out of the car, and talking with each other.

“Yeah.” Came a grumbled response and Sasuke was pushed by the same man who bullied him out of his own home. Sasuke stumbled but didn’t fight back as he looked back at the man and took a hesitant step.

The lights on the van flashed, indicating that it got locked and their group walked past it. The adults kept Sasuke in front of them, making sure that he walked forward and didn’t run off. Sasuke trembled, the cold night air seeping under his skin. The path was dark, no street lights to shine their way. The only source of light was coming from the full moon and a house in front of them. The yellow light coming from the window was the only sign of life in the middle of the forest. Sasuke walked up the wooden stairs that creaked under their weight and Kidomaru stepped in front of him to open the door. It was unlocked and creaked just like the stairs when it moved, indicating just how old this house was.

These people didn’t even wait for the door to stay open for longer than a second and Sasuke felt another push. He didn’t know who did it as each and every one of them were rough with him. He stepped over the high threshold and stepped into the lit room. It looked like an entry room with a dark hall leading to another lit room. The yellow light and plain, cracked wall paint made this place seem abandoned but opposite to the way it looked, it didn’t smell old.

“C’mon, don’t stand there like an idiot.” Another shove got him moving towards the hall. There was no smell of dust or mold, even if it looked old, this building was taken care of. It was strange and frightening. These people hadn’t answered any of his questions so far and Sasuke hoped that wherever he was now, it would get at least a few of his questions answered.

The room on the left of the hall had no door and the light was coming from it. Sasuke felt his heart race when he saw a man sitting on a gray sofa. He raised his eyes when he heard their group come in and smiled. The smile didn’t reach his eyes but Sasuke didn’t notice it from the relief he felt from seeing another person, especially when they didn’t immediately seem mean.

“You must be Sasuke.” The man stood up and walked towards them. Even though the question didn’t seem like it needed an answer Sasuke still nodded, opening his mouth to say that it was true but he was cut off before he could even say anything. “Jurobo, you stay to lead the boy to his room. The rest of you can go.”

Seems like they were waiting to hear that as four of the adults that brought him here turned around and left without hesitating even for a second. Only the largest man stayed. He came to stand on the threshold, effectively blocking the exit to the hall. The newest man followed their little group with his eyes as they disappeared, his gaze staying there for a second longer before it fell back down to Sasuke and the man smiled again.

“Come have a seat.” He said and Sasuke hesitated but as the man turned and took a few steps towards the cough, Sasuke followed him. He sat down on the tough gray material and looked up at the white-haired man standing in front of him. The building wasn’t heated, it felt just as cold as it was outside and the jacket the man was wearing didn’t seem warm enough for this weather but neither were Sasuke’s pajamas.

“I suppose your parents didn’t inform you about this.” This time Sasuke had enough time to shake his head and say ‘no’. The white-haired man’s relaxed demeanor brought a sense of calmness to him. “Well, any conversation should start with an introduction. My name is Kabuto and he is Jurobu.” Sasuke glanced at the large man when Kabuto looked at him. “We are the supervisors in this camp.” Sasuke looked at Kabuto, the man’s words making his curiosity grow. Kabuto must’ve noticed his expression as the man’s smile grew into a grin.

“This isn’t just a simple summer camp, some might even call us a boarding school but no matter what names we get labeled by it does not change the fact that our focus and main objective is to bring troubled youth back to being outstanding and law-abiding citizens.” Sasuke’s brows furrowed. “Now, that doesn’t mean that you should confuse us with a correctional facility. Even though what we do is quite similar, our master, the owner of his organization, prefers the name of a therapeutic institution.” Kabuto interwound his fingers behind his back, making himself stand in a straighter position and appear larger.

“Our layout is quite similar to one of a summer camp but unlike a summer camp, this place isn’t just for fun. As I’ve mentioned before our job is to correct the offensive and wrong behavior of troubled teens but unlike most correctional facilities, we focus on nature therapy.” Kabuto spoke, his voice monotone and quick as if he had practiced these lines until complete perfection. Sasuke wondered how many times he had given this speech to kids and parents alike. “Now, that must raise questions. What is wilderness therapy and what is it exactly that we do here?” Kabuto got quiet, and swallowed, no doubt wetting his dry mouth. The moment of silence was just enough time for the man’s words to sink in and the questions to plant themselves in his head.

“Most teens these days have forgotten what is truly important in the world. They have turned their back on their families, forgotten about the importance of work and relationships with other people. It seems like the only thing in their head is them, their needs, their wants and they no longer think about their family or what is truly healthy for them. Isolating themselves in their rooms all day, no longer caring about school, and being social… Such things can lead to serious mental health problems which not only ruin their emotional but their physical states as well. Most kids have become addicted to social media, video games, and worst of all: laziness.”
Sasuke furrowed his brows. He couldn’t understand why Kabuto was telling him these things. That sounded nothing like him. He worked hard in school to earn his teachers’ and father’s approval, he always helped in church, and he always kept his room clean. Sasuke couldn’t understand why he was brought here and why were these things being said to him. The speech only brought more questions to him, rather than answers.

“Such small things can later snowball into much worse addictions like narcotics, alcohol, self-harm, and anything else that you could think of, if not taken care of immediately. That is where we come in. Our job is to help troubled teens get back on their feet and become model citizens with the help of nature. Studies have shown that moving, doing anything as simple as walking outside, exercising, or cleaning increases the level of dopamine and serotonin in our brains which makes us feel better.” Kabuto folded his hands in front of him and spoke with such certainty that made it impossible to doubt him.

“Here we welcome teens between the ages of 11 and 18 with different disorders. From addiction to mental health illness, or as in your case, Sasuke,” The use of his name made Sasuke pipe up and focus. “The beginning of these troubles. We focus our kids on staying active, the first part of the day is spent doing chores, then we focus on school work as it is important for us that kids in our care stay up to date with their school program and of course nature and therapy. We try to spend as much time outside during the day as possible and every evening for an hour we sit down and the kids take part in group therapy. We make sure that our kids stay outside, stay active, happy, and social. We teach important life skills here like cooking, cleaning, and surviving in the wilderness.” Kabuto swallowed again.

“We make bonfires and go on hikes. We teach the kids to stay humble and responsible as the kids are the ones in charge of the cleaning here and of course, they are never alone. Surrounded by other kids their age, the caring staff are always here to help and of course, medical staff are here to make sure that everything is well. Do you understand that, Sasuke?”

“Um…” Sasuke began, taken by surprise that Kabuto suddenly spoke to him. “Yes.”

“Good.” Kabuto smiled. “Your parents thought that your recent behavior was unacceptable and signed you up to our camp.” Sasuke felt his chest tighten at the mention of his parents. “Every child that comes into our care must stay the mandatory 10 nights. During this, you will live by our rules, which you will have to memorize, with no exceptions. You will live by our regime, during which, as I said before, you will clean, learn, and take part in therapy. At the end of the 10-day trial, our master will decide if you will be allowed to leave or if you will have to continue learning here.” The use of the word ‘master’ when referring to the owner made Sasuke feel uneasy.

“Here we value hard work and obedience. Simply don’t break any rules and we will get along just fine. Breaking a rule, of course, will end in punishment. Punishments will vary depending on how big was your offense. We believe that completely focusing on rehabilitation is important and we try to avoid any and all outside distractions. So phones, TVs, and any other type of electronics are forbidden. Do you understand?” Sasuke swallowed and nodded.

“Yes.” He whispered. Kabuto’s smile had fallen from his face once he began talking to Sasuke and his stay here specifically. The air around him began to feel more tense and Sasuke no longer knew if he was trembling from the cold or the fear. He didn’t understand what he was doing here. Bad behavior? But he hadn’t done anything horrible. Sure, he tried smoking but that couldn’t have meant that he deserved something as intense as therapy. He couldn’t have been that bad.

“Good. Then I suppose we can begin.” Sasuke clenched his jaw. “Here we try to keep our kids humble and resourceful. This means that no personal belongings from the outside are allowed. You will get appropriate clothes here. Hairbrushes and any other essentials will also be given here. The only things you are allowed to keep are your outside shoes and anything essential that you are wearing right now, like glasses and hearing aids but as we’ve been informed you have no such things. Any piercing that I should know about?” Sasuke shook his head. “Good. Because they are not allowed. Now strip.”

Other than his brows furrowing Sasuke didn’t react in any other way. Surely Kabuto wasn’t serious. He couldn’t have been. The common was said so casually that Sasuke had begun to think that it was a joke meant to lighten the mood from the tense atmosphere. But he was wrong. Kabuto scowled and sighed.

“Didn’t you hear me? I said strip!” Sasuke flinched at the tone of his voice. His brows furrowed, black eyes widened and a worried frown appeared on his face.

“Why?” His voice trembled but Sasuke didn’t like how weak it made him sound. How scared and powerless he was. Kabuto sighed again. This time the sound was so low and rumbling that it sounded like a growl.

“Not even one day in and already misbehaving…” Kabuto shook his head, his voice taking on a misleading soft tone. “Well… all the more fun for us. Get his clothes off.” The ginger-haired man at the doorway didn’t need to be told twice. He dropped his arms from where they were folded on his chest and walked towards them. In just three steps he was already by the couch, his strides were confident and he walked with a purpose. The man’s big approaching form made Sasuke curl in on himself.

“I- I can do it myself.” He found himself saying before he could stop himself but that didn’t seem to deter the giant man in the slightest. He grabbed Sasuke’s nightshirt, pulling it up by the collar. Trying to keep it down by pressing his arms to his torso didn’t help Sasuke in the slightest as the material stretched to its limit and the shirt was pulled over his head. The sheer strength of the man didn’t allow him to keep his arms close to his body to save his clothes. The shirt was thrown on the floor and Jurobu grabbed at the hem of his pants.

“No!” Sasuke raised his voice and grabbed at the man’s wrist, with his other hand he held onto the material of his pants. Sasuke pulled his legs up onto the couch, hoping that the new position would give him the upper hand but even that didn’t seem to stop Jurobu. The ginger-haired man pulled down his pants just as quickly as his shirt, only finding some trouble with Sasuke’s shoes but those were taken off and thrown to the floor too. In a matter of seconds, Sasuke was left completely bare in this cold room in front of two strangers. Jurobu straightened his back and stood next to Kabuto while Sasuke raised his legs to his chest, trying to cover himself and stay warm.

“Now are you going to be good and take a shower yourself or do we need to do that for you too?” At the sound of Kabuto’s voice, Sasuke looked up with teary eyes.

“I’ll be good.” The boy answered, his voice barely above a whisper. The corners of Kabuto’s lips raised, making a small grin appear on his face.

“Perfect. Come on, then.” Kabuto turned and didn’t wait to ensure Sasuke would follow him. He walked through an open door on the other side of the room and disappeared into the darkness. Sasuke clenched his jaw, his eyebrows furrowed together in worry and after a beat of silence, he got off the couch and quickly went after Kabuto. The fear of Jurobu dragging him after Kabuto if he hadn’t walked himself made Sasuke swiftly obey.

The room Sasuke was now standing in was covered completely in tiles, the lighting here was poor and there were a few shower heads on one wall. The smell of water was thick in the air here, making the room feel even colder than the previous one. It reminded Sasuke of the shower in his school locker room. He shivered and waited for what Kabuto was going to say next, a part of him hoping that when the man told him to shower he hadn’t been completely serious but the expectant silence in the room proved Sasuke wrong. The boy swallowed and looked at the shower heads again. There was no soap or towels, only two gray walls separating the shower heads from one another.

“Do we need to do every little thing for you?” Kabuto sighed, his voice carrying a hint of annoyance, yet something made it sound like Kabuto was hoping that his words were true. Sasuke’s mouth felt dry.

“No.” He muttered and walked to stand underneath the shower head. He looked down at the handle attached to the wall. The system looked easy enough but the absence of… well, everything made him waver and delay starting. Sasuke looked back over his shoulder at Kabuto who was standing by the doorway, with his arms crossed over his chest, waiting impatiently. “Um…” Sasuke began, his voice was soft and feeble. “There’s no soap.” Kabuto’s scoff echoed through the room and made Sasuke jump. The man sounded as if he was insulted that Sasuke could even think about asking for soap.

“Water is all you deserve.” Sasuke looked down, shame making his cheeks and eyes burn with unspilled tears. Those words went straight to his head. Sasuke looked down, hung his head low, and let his hair cover his eyes. He reached out towards the handle and turned it to the side, where the warm water should be. His arm trembled and Sasuke didn’t know if it was because of the cold or fear.

The water poured from the shower head, soaking his black hair and he flinched. It was cold and made Sasuke’s whole body tense and tremble. He waited a few seconds, not daring to take a step back from the freezing stream as he still felt Kabuto’s gaze on him and feared that dodging the water would get him reprimanded.

“We don’t have all day.” Kabuto said, his voice hoarse and clearly annoyed. He spoke loudly enough for Sasuke to hear the emotion in his tone over the pouring water.

“It’s cold.” Sasuke grumbled as he raised his arms to fold them in front of his chest and a part of him hoped that Kabuto wouldn’t have heard it.

“Well, it won’t get any warmer. Hurry up.” Sasuke looked down at his feet, they were close together and his whole body seemed to try everything to secure heat. Kabuto didn’t seem to be getting ready to leave and give Sasuke his privacy so the boy could only sigh after a few more seconds that felt like an eternity under the freezing water.

Sasuke reluctantly raised his arms and pushed his raven hair back. Having his arms away from his body made him feel even colder and Sasuke tried not to prolong it for longer than necessary. He wasn’t dirty as he had showered in the morning and there wasn’t any need to be very thorough with the shower. He just needed to make it look like he cleaned himself to the best of his abilities and Sasuke had to make sure not to freeze any limbs off in the process. He rubbed at the skin of his chest and arms, warming himself a bit at the same time, though the non-stopping water didn’t let the feeling last, and being watched by Kabuto only made his movements clumsy.

Sasuke rubbed at his thighs and didn’t allow himself to move further down as that would mean bending over in front of the man. When he was sure that Kabuto would be satisfied with the shower Sasuke reached out and turned the water off. Now his whole body was shaking and Sasuke could feel his teeth clattering together, though no matter how much he tried he couldn’t force himself to stop. His lower jaw simply no longer listened to him. Sasuke folded his arms in front of him again, his fingers dug into the meat in his upper arms and he slowly looked back at Kabuto, to signal the man that he was done. Sasuke heard a sigh and saw Kabuto’s chest rise and fall dramatically.

“That didn’t seem like a very good shower. Do it again.” Sasuke furrowed his brows.

“W-what?” He couldn’t be serious…

“We don’t have all night.” The white-haired man groaned. “Hurry up.” Kabuto looked him in the eyes. “Unless you really are a good-for-nothing brat who can’t even shower properly. I suppose I should call Jurobo in here to help with that too.”

“No.” Sasuke looked away, not even liking the idea of the large man being here. He turned on the water and forced himself not to flinch when the cold attacked his skin once again.

Sasuke didn’t waste that much time rubbing at his skin again and quickly moved down to his feet. Instead of bending down, he lifted his foot off the ground just enough for him to reach it. Sasuke rubbed the right sole of his foot with his hand while water ran over it, and did the same thing to the other. Then he stood straight again and stared at the knob on the wall.

“Don’t tell me that you’re finished.” Sasuke clenched his jaw at the sound of Kabuto’s voice. What more could the man want from him… He swallowed and with reluctant and slow movements reached in between his legs. Sasuke couldn’t call it getting clean as he simply rubbed his sensitive skin in rough and quick movements. Sasuke pulled his hand away, looked back and when he didn’t get any complaints from Kabuto he turned off the relentless cold water.

Sasuke turned sideways so that he could look at Kabuto and still stay somewhat hidden. The room became silent and Sasuke could feel Kabuto’s gaze more than he saw it as it moved over his body. Kabuto was taking in his every detail, judging him, as if the man was estimating his value. He knew he had seen that judging gaze in his life enough time to recognize it. Sasuke tried to swallow but it only left a stinging pain in the back of his throat as his mouth suddenly felt dry. He fought the urge to cover himself and forced his hands to stay at his sides, fists clenching. He wouldn’t show that he was uncomfortable, he wouldn’t let this man think that he had the upper hand over Sasuke. Kabuto let out a breath that sounded like a sigh.

“C’mon,” The white-haired man said and pushed himself off the wall that he was leaning on. “Let’s go.” Sasuke didn’t hesitate and quickly followed Kabuto out into the hall. He had to step carefully as to not slip on the hard wood. Sasuke left small, wet footprints behind him and his wet skin prickled from the cold air.

They walked into the room he had previously been in and Sasuke stopped in the doorway when he saw a new man sitting on the couch. Kabuto stepped closer but stayed a respectful distance away from the man. He looked over at them, his gaze stopping at Sasuke and the boy didn’t even think as he brought his hands in front of him, not liking the way this man’s amber eyes looked at him. The man smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“You must be Sasuke.” It sounded more like a statement rather than a question. The way this man spoke reminded Sasuke of a snake, as he dragged out the s of every word. The man took some folded gray fabric from the couch and extended his arm towards Sasuke. The boy reached for it and realized that it was a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of white shorts.

“Thank you, sir.” He said, pulling the shirt over his head. The fabric stuck to his skin and darkened from the water but even now Sasuke could see that it was big on him. It hung from his shoulders and went to his mid-thigh. A similar problem was with the shorts, which seemed so worn that the white color looked washed out. Sasuke could see a small smile on the man's lips as he sat, leaning against the back of the couch. He looked relaxed and comfortable as if he owned the place.

“What a polite boy.” Sasuke felt his cheeks heat and he fought the feeling. Right now was neither the place nor time to be blushing at compliments. “That’s good. Kids with manners have easier lives here.” Sasuke furrowed his brows but before he could even think of a question the man continued talking, not giving him time to do anything else other than listen. “My name is Orochimaru. Right now you are at Otogakure, a juvenile rehabilitation camp. I’m sure Kabuto already introduced you to the essentials of what we do here.” Sasuke nodded when Orochimaru stopped talking.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good.” The smile didn’t fall from Orochimaru’s face and it unnerved Sasuke but a part of him was hoping that this man would be better than everyone else he had seen so far and for now, it sure felt that way. Maybe this man could explain everything more. Because there was no way his parents would do this. They couldn’t have. His mother wouldn’t have allowed this. “This camp belongs to me and from now on you will be under my and my staff’s care from now on. You will follow our rules and orders without hesitation. For your behavior there will be consequences, whether they will be good or bad, it will depend entirely on you. Any questions?”

“Um…” Sasuke began but hesitated, it was the first time someone paid attention to what he might have to say tonight. “Sir, I don’t understand… Why am I here?”

“Why are you here? The answer is quite simple my, dear boy.” Orochimaru crossed his legs. “In Otogakure we welcome and reshape all kinds of kids. Children that come here don’t go to church on sundays, they don’t listen in school and they don’t obey their parents.” Sasuke furrowed his brows as he listened. “Kids here are violent, they drink, they smoke, and they do drugs, they lie and manipulate. Our job is to make them good and obedient children again.” Sasuke remembered Kabuto saying something similar.

“Your parents were astonished and quite worried to learn that you had begun rebelling. Your misdemeanors are small now but it is just a matter of time before it grows into something worse.” Sasuke clenched his jaw when his parents were mentioned but Orochimaru didn’t seem to notice. And if he did, he didn’t comment on it. “First it’s one cigarette, later it’s sharing needles on the street. Me and your father were of similar opinion that it’s simply no way for a young man to live his life. And your parents signed you up here.” Orochimaru got quiet as if giving Sasuke time to process that information. The boy stood still and quiet, he had expected that this had been his father’s idea and when Orohiamru continued to talk everything seemed to look more real and not like a big nightmare.

“But there’s no need to worry, my dear boy.” Orochimaru’s gentle smile seemed to be the only comforting thing in this room, even if it seemed fake, it still seemed better than nothing. “The starting period is only 10 days. When it ends I decide whether or not you’re worthy of going back home. The rules here are quite simple, though there are quite a few of them. You just have to remember them, my dear. Not knowing or forgetting is not an excuse if you break a rule.” Orochimaru must’ve seen the way his eyes got sadder with every passing second once it became official that he was staying here and the man smiled. “Our staff here will always be with you, looking over you and they will always remind you of our rules if you happen to break one. And of course breaking rules means appropriate punishments but we will talk about punishments another time.” Orochimaru folded his arms in front of him and leaned against the back of the couch.

“Now, we like to keep things fun here.” Orochimaru explained. “Life here is like a game. Do you like games, Sasuke?” Sasuke swallowed and nodded with no true excitement. “Good. Since we deter the idea of electronics being used here we found other ways to keep our children entertained while they live here. And their objective is to get points. With good behavior and doing your chores, you earn points but if you’re naughty you lose them. Now,” Orochimaru lowered his hands and intertwined his fingers on top of his knee. “When you earn a certain amount of points you get privileges and in the end, it might even determine if you’re ready to go back home.” Sasuke thought about it.

“So… I have to be good, obey the rules and after 10 days I’ll be allowed to go home?” The smile that Orochimaru gave him made some of the tension leave his muscles.

“You’re absolutely correct, my dear.” Maybe this won’t be as horrible as Sasuke thought that it would be.

“I bet that you’re tired.” Sasuke looked Orochimaru in the eyes when the man spoke again. “It must’ve been a long night for you while you got here and since we get up early here it’s important to get as much sleep as possible. Jurobo, lead the boy to his room.” Sasuke glanced at the large man who in answer hummed and took a step towards the doorway, urging Sasuke to follow him.

“Um…” Sasuke hesitated and looked at Orochimaru. “Thank you, sir.” He wasn’t sure what he was saying thanks for. This whole evening had been horrible and so far Orochimaru was the only one kind to him, which Sasuke was grateful for. He was raised with manners and whether it was because the man was kind or because he allowed Sasuke to go to bed, either way, he was grateful and he was going to show it. Orochimaru smiled at him, the man’s amber eyes revealing what looked like yearning but Sasuke couldn’t focus on it as he quickly put on his shoes and followed after the man who made it clear that he wasn’t going to wait for Sasuke any longer than necessary.

“Goodnight, my dear.” Was the last thing Sasuke heard as he scurried down the dark hall.

Chapter 3

Summary:

New friends, new enemies, learning to know the difference

Naruto yawned and stretched his arms over his head. He let out a tired sigh and shut his locker. He had stayed out late with his friends yesterday and had to stay up until 11pm until he finally finished his homework. If it would’ve been purely his choice he wouldn’t have done the homework at all but his parents’ seemed to not agree with that decision. And with his mom hovering closely behind him with the threat of her wrath if he were to slack off, Naruto stayed up late finishing up his math homework. It had never been his specialty and normally he would’ve asked Sasuke or anyone else who he could copy of.

Naruto walked down the school hallways, already filled with students rushing to their classes. He walked down to the very end of the hall where his biology classroom was located and opened the wooden door. The class was already full of children. Everyone seemed to already be present and Naruto walked past the chatting girls to the back of the class where his desk was at. Kiba was already sitting in his place next to Naruto and the brown haired boy was talking with Hinata, who sat in front of them.

Naruto smiled when the two of them noticed him and sat down. While Kiba answered him with a grin of his own, Hinata blushed and turned away from them.

“What got you so happy so early in the morning?” Naruto asked when he noticed how Kiba seemed even more excited and jittery than usual.

“Amayera will have puppies!”

“Really?” A similar smile made it’s way on Naruto’s face. Kiba nodded, a happy hum on his lips.

“We’ll get new puppies in the house.” The brown haired boy looked like he wanted to add something else but the bell rang and he quieted down as everyone started moving to take their seats. The teacher would walk through the door at any given second and Naruto took the small amount of time that he had left to look at his other friends.

He noticed Shikamaru and Choji, Ino sitting next to one of their classmates and Sakura, who was sitting alone. Naruto furrowed his brows. That was strange Sasuke never missed any classes. Did he get sick? But he looked completely fine yesterday. The classroom door opened and the old woman walked in, making all of the students get serious and sit up with their backs straight. Naruto didn’t get any more time to wonder about Sasuke as the lesson began.

“Hey, guys, do you know why Sasuke’s not here?” Naruto looked over at Sakura when the girl walked over to him and his buddies in the hallway.

“Beats me.” Shikamaru shrugged and everyone followed his example as no one seemed to know the answer.

“Aw, don’t be worried, Sakura.” Naruto smiled when he saw the pink haired girl’s brows furrow and her eyes glisten. “I’m sure the bastard probably overslept or something.” This time Sakura’s brows furrowed in a frown as she looked up at Naruto, her gaze taking on a more angry note.

“Don’t call him that.” She replied sharply. “And it’s so unlike Sasuke… He’s never late and he’d never oversleep.” Naruto let out a tense breath when Sakura began defending him.

“He’s probably just sick.” This time Choji answered in stead of the blonde boy. “Happens to the best of us.”

“Yeah…” Sakura lowered her head, letting her long hair fall over her face as her eyes clouded with worry again. Naruto gave a sympathetic smile towards her.

“Don’t worry about him. I bet he’s having the time of his life slacking off at home. We better worry about ourselves if we don’t want to be late for our next class.” Naruto beamed on the inside when Sakura let out a breath and agreed with him. And their little group walked to their next class, some hurrying more than others.

When Sasuke didn’t show up for the other classes either, the theory that he was sick became more believable. Naruto texted him after their second lesson and now he was going to the last one and he still hadn’t received an answer. Sasuke must be really out of it if he hadn’t even checked his phone yet. And getting the opportunity Naruto sat down next to Sakura. The girl gave him a sideways glare but other than that she didn’t seem to show her annoyance. Seemed like she didn’t want to sit alone any longer. Naruto felt the corners of his lips curl upwards, silently congratulating himself for the little win at getting closer to Sakura.

Then their class teacher Iruka walked into the room and everyone calmed down and got back to their seats. Iruka said hello to everyone, his tiredness clearly showing on his face after another long day of teaching. He took a piece of paper in his hands, having written down the important things that he had to tell his class but first asked for who wasn’t here. Iruka didn’t even look like he had the will to say every students’ name to check attendance. Skura raised her hand.

“Sasuke’s not here.” She said and Naruto had expected their teacher’s eyes to widen at hearing that the top student was missing class, but the man only hummed.

“Yes, I know. He won’t be coming to class for a while. Thank you, Sakura. Anyone else?” Naruto’s brows furrowed. He won’t be back for a while? Must be something serious then. He glanced at the girl next to him, who had a similar expression on her face and no doubt was thinking of the same thing.

When the bell rang and the kids were finally dismissed for the day no one stayed longer than needed in class and everyone rushed down the hall to get to their lockers. And just as Naruto got to his, Sakura approached him

“Naruto,” She said, her voice a bit timid as if she didn’t want to do this. “I was thinking of going over to Sasuke’s, to see if he’s ok and bring him the notes we did in class. But i don’t want to go alone… so maybe… I was thinking… Do you want to go together?” She asked, saying the last sentence the quickest and Naruto beamed, his smile lighting up his whole face.

“Like a date? Sure, Sakura, I’d love to go with you!” Sakura’s brow’s furrowed and eye twitchen.

“No, you idiot,” She growled. “Not like a date. Just to go see Sasuke.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I’d love to.” Naruto smiled at her, completely ignoring her bad mood. “When should we meet?”

“Maybe we can go right now? I don’t want to go out too late. It gets dark so early lately.”

“Sure thing, Sakura.”

They left the school together and while Sakura tried to ignore he looks their classmates sent them, Naruto seemed to walk with pride, practically radiating with joy from being able to spend alone time with Sakura. Before going to Sasuke’s home, Sakura asked to stop by her house and Naruto waited patiently until the girl came down with a few apples in her hands. Naruto hummed and swallowed from the juicy red fruit but when he asked if he could have one he got a glare in response.

“No. Ask your mom to buy you apples. These are for Sasuke.” Naruto groaned.

“Sasuke can ask his mom too, you know.”

“Well, he’s sick and you’re not, Naruto! He needs these vitamins more than you do.” Naruto sighed and looked back at the path. He was worried for the raven haired boy too, but unlike Sakura he wasn’t going to show it. Sasuke rarely ever got sick so this was strange and he hoped that the other boy was alright. When they got to Sasuke’s house his mom opened the door for them and seem surprised to see the two kids at her doorstep.

“Sasuke didn’t come to school today, we wanted to visit him, to see if he’s alright.” Sakura explained and the gentle smile on Mikoto’s face seemed pitiful.

“Oh, thank you for looking out for him.” She was as soft spoken as ever, Naruto was pretty surre he had never heard this woman raise her voice before. “But, Sasuke’s not home right now. He left to study in a different school for some time.” Her voice saddened and Naruto’s eyes widened, he was sure that Sakura was just as surprised as he was.

“He left?” Naruto asked, dumbfounded, not being able to believe it. “And he didn’t even say goodbye?” Mikoto let out a soft, pitying breath as she looked down at the blonde boy. “And he hasn’t even answered my messages.”

“That school is quite strict.” Mikoto explained softly. “But you could always write a letter to him, Naruto. You too.” She smiled at the two kids. “Then bring it to us and we will send them.” Naruto was at a loss for words. He couldn’t believe that his friend, the quiet altar boy that had his nose buried in work and books didn’t even come to say goodbye. Naruto swallowed and frowned. What kind of friend doesn’t say bye.

“Oh…” Sakura spoke softly, disappointment evident in her voice. “Ok, thank you for letting us know.”

Mikoto smiled at them and gently closed the door. The walk back home was silent as both of the kids were shocked and confused. Naruto still wasn’t able to believe the fact that Sasuke was gone and that surprise didn’t allow the anger and hurt to come to the surface just yet. He walked Sakura to her house and he got an apple for his troubles, which he now accepted without much enthusiasm. The pink haired girl let her sadness show the whole way home and now that they were at the stairs of her apartment it looked like she was about to break down in tears and Naruto could only give her an encouraging smile.

“Hey, she said he’ll be gone only for a bit. And if its some boarding school then he should be back during holidays, right?” That seemed to up her mood a bit and the girl smiled.

When she went home Naruto turned to walk back to his own house. And there was no one to comfort him as he walked. The boy sighed as he walked up to his apartment. His mom was home, cooking something and he tried to be as quiet as possible as not to bring any attention to himself. He wanted to be alone and think about everything that he just learnt. When he got to his room Naruto shut the door, dressed in more comfortable clothes and laid down on his bed. He stared at the ceiling, millions of thoughts swimming through his head as the fact that Sasuke had left started to become more real. Then he quickly jumped out of his bed, took out his notebook, a pen and started writing.

He wrote everything that came to mind, every happy, sad and angry word. He crossed out multiple sentences, words and letters and sighed when he couldn’t seem to think of the appropriate word to use for how he felt. Then he lifted the paper, looked at it for a few long seconds, frowned and crumpled it. Then Naruto got off from his desk chair and threw the letter into the trash.

 

Sasuke barely got any sleep that night. The scary memories of someone bursting into his room and dragging him out of bed kept his adrenaline pumping and his mind racing. His questions were answered, everything was explained and yet Sasuke still kept thinking about this whole situation and how he ended up in the middle of nowhere. He wasn’t alone in the room, there were at least three other kids, he guessed from the sound of breathing and the beds that he had seen here. An adult kept opening their door every few minutes to check if everyone was sleeping. The agonizing wait for tomorrow, the scary memories and the strange person cheking on them kept his mind racing and Sasuke couldn’t close his eyes and relax. The old, small bed was uncomfortable and kept squeaking any time he moved and turned around. He didn’t get a wink of sleep.

Sasuke didn’t know what time it was when someone walked in to wake them but from the view of the sky he guessed it must’ve been earlier than 7 am. He would get up just before seven on week days to start getting ready for school and it was darker than Sasuke was used to. It must of been somewhere around 6 am. The other kids in the room seemed to be used to this regime as they got up without any complaint, without any sound at all, really.

He never liked a lot of attention but Sasuke had expected to be showered with questions and greetings. He was the new kid at camp after all but he only got a few passing glances as the kids made their beds. Sasuke followed their lead and neatly covered his bed with the comforter. He wasn’t one for talking, especially for starting conversations. This might be a good thing that no one was saying anything. Not even a ‘goodmorning’ or ‘how did you sleep?’ to each other. The room was silent, only the sounds of blankets shuffling filled it. Sasuke kept his head low. He didn’t want to speak and he didn’t want any attention on himself. He only raised it when he finished making his bed and followed some of the other kids’ lead and sat down on it.

this was the first chance he got to look around. Now that the light was on he could clearly see that the room wasn’t exactly small but there were ten bed in total, five on each side of the wall. There was only a little path down the middle and in between beds to walk. There were no bedside tables, not even a wardrobe in the room. It looked like every health rule was ignored and there were far too many kids stashed in one place. Sasuke glanced to the side. His bed was the third from the right wall, diagonally from the bedroom door which led into the hallway. Everything looked old here. From the painted walls to the squeaking beds with blankets that reminded Sasuke of the ones that were at his grandparents house. The floorboards looked worn down and Sasuke could see that every kid kept their shoes next to the end of their beds during the night and once morning came the shoes were put on.

Everything seemed old but it didn’t smell dusty, if anything it smelled fresh. Sasuke raised his eyes to look at the kid sitting on the bed next to his. He was hunched over, resting his hands on his knees. He looked exhausted, his hair was a mess. The boy was wearing similar clothes to the one’s Sasuke was given yesterday. Sasuke’s black eyes slowly looked over the other boy and he swallowed. The boy looked sick. He was pale, sickly skinny and had huge dark circles under his eyes. He seemed to sense Sasuke’s staring and looked at the him, which made the raven-haired boy look down at the floor. Now that he got a closer look he noticed that they all looked the same.

Everyone seemed to be of different ages, ranging from fifteen to twelve if Sasuke had to guess and even different genders which took him by surprise but every single one of them looked unkept and unhealthy. Unbrushed hair, which some had loose while other had them in ponytails or buns, the same gray, dirty clothes and the same sickly appearance. Sasuke felt his breathing grow shallow and forced himself to look down at the ground. This was his first morning here and he didn’t want to offend anyone while starting and make an enemy here, even if he was staying here only for 10 days. He wanted these 10 days to go by without any incident and quickly. Now that everyone finished making their beds the room had gone back to complete silence. If the kids weren’t sitting Sasuke would’ve thought that they had gone back to sleep.

The bedroom door opened and Sasuke recognised the same person who woke them. The woman didn’t look old and she was wearing warmer clothes and a green jacket that excluded her from the crowd of gray.

“Everyone done?” She asked and without waiting for an answer continued. “Good. The chore list is up. Go on and start.” Her voice wasn’t gentle as he was usually used to hearing the women in his life. She reminded him of the red haired woman he saw last night, only this one had brown hair. Sasuke hesitated but when he saw everyone get up and leave the room without a word he could only follow after them.

Sasuke wondered where was the bathroom and when will they be given toothbrushes, toothpaste and a hairbrush. Maybe they were going there now. He just had to follow the crowd. Sasuke didn’t want to get lost in this new building and for now he’ll do as everyone does until he gets the hang of the routine. He noticed kids from other bedroom merge too and everyone made their way to the end of the hall. There must’ve been at least twenty of them and everyone crammed in the narrow hallway. Sasuke wasn’t sure if it was from the pushing but he ended up in the front where everyone seemed to want to be and saw four papers duct taped to the wall. Sasuke furrowed his brows and looked around. Everyone was reading them and without knowing what else to do Sasuke licked his lips and turned his attention to the papers.

Each of the papers had a certain place in big bold letter written at the top and lower, in a smaller print were chores and names written next to them. Sasuke glanced over the building chores, then the garden chores and then went to look at the kitchen chores. Surely if everyone’s names were written here then his should be there too. Sasuke could remember that both Kabuto and Orochimaru had said something about chores being mandatory here. There were only two chores at the kitchen paper and Sasuke’s was at the very top. Even if he had been looking for it, Sasuke was surprised to see his name there.

‘Kitchen duty…. Sasuke Uchiha’ He looked at the name for a few long seconds until he memorize the fact that he was working in the kitchen. ‘Kitchen duty’ what did that even mean? He looked down at the name underneath his.

‘Kitchen help…. Suigetsu Hoozuki’ Sasuke clenched his jaw. That boy was probably going to help him today. He turned and looked around, hoping to see if anyone was doing the same but it seemed like he was the only one. He hoped to maybe meet the boy before hand and ask a few things but everyone seemed to find their names and leave from the front. Sasuke let out a huff and followed them to the back. He came to stand closer to the brown haired staff woman and he intertwined his fingers in front of him. He wanted to ask what he was supposed to do now and where was the bathroom but while he was working up the courage the woman spoke.

“Everyone found themselves? Good.” She continued talking again, not waiting for an answer. “You have ten minutes to get ready. Start cleaning your rooms and then get on with your chores.” Sasuke held his breath when he realised that with those words she turned to leave. He raised his hand a bit in the air as if reaching out to her and said a reluctant,

“Excuse me,” The woman stopped and turned around, her eyebrows furrowed together and eyes narrowed in an angry glare. Her eyes scanned the kids going down the hallway, searching for who dared to call out to her. Sasuke felt his mouth go dry as worry rose deep in his chest at seeing the woman's angry expression. But when her eyes landed on Sasuke the glare lessened. “Could you- could you tell me where the bathroom is?” The raven-haired boy asked, hesitation clear in his voice as he got embarrassed over the question. The staff woman looked at him for a few long moments, her gaze reluctant and searching as she looked Sasuke up and down and that only got him feeling even more embarrassed.

“You’re new?” She asked without answering his question.

“Yes.” Sasuke answered and blinked at her, confusion starting to take over as another moment passed of the woman not answering and in stead looking him up and down. Her gaze was serious and reluctant. It looked as if she wasn’t sure of what to answer.

“Down the hall and to the left.” She finally answered and Sasuke felt relief wash over him as he finally got an answer and wasn’t ignored like the night before.

“Thank you.” He said and turned around to follow the woman’s direction. Just like she had said at the end of the hall, on the left wall there were three doors. Two of which had a little boy and girl drawn on them to indicate bathrooms. The third door was open as some kids were going in and out of it and Sasuke saw that the inside of it looked similar to a janitors closet.

There was a bit of a line formed next to the girls’ bathroom and Sasuke quietly passed them and stepped into the boys’ room. There was one toilet and a sink and with furrowed brows Sasuke noticed that there was no mirror or towels. The water was cold and Sasuke didn’t seem to be able get it to turn warm. His dripping wet hands Sasuke wiped against his clothes and left the bathroom with still damp palms. The brown haired woman was nowhere to be found in the hall and the kids were going in and out of the two bedrooms. It was quite surprising with how quiet it was.

Usually, no matter if he was in school, with his friends or at church, wherever there were kids it was always noisy. Not hearing anyone talk was unnerving but Sasuke brushed it off with everyone still being tired from getting up so early. He wasn’t sure what he could use to brush his teeth and fix his hair but the quiet atmosphere made him feel too uncomfortable to ask anyone. Now if Sasuke wasn’t mistaken he was supposed to go clean his bedroom and then go to the kitchen.

He swallowed and going by the instinctual want to follow everybody else, he went into his bedroom. Some of the kids were already there - down on their knees, cleaning the floor by and underneath their beds or standing by the windowsill and wiping the dust there. Sasuke glanced at the bucket of soapy water by the door and looked back at the janitors closet. That must be where everyone else got their washcloths. Sasuke walked back out into the hall and stepped into the little room holding all of the cleaning supplies.

He noticed a few washcloths hanging from a heater and grabbed one. It was old and turn in multiple places but all of the hanging ones looked like that and Sasuke couldn’t find any newer ones amongst the bottles of liquid soap, washing detergent and all kinds of other supplies. So he opted to take the one with the least holes in it and Sasuke went back to the bedroom. There was a boy by the bucket, rinsing his rag. Sasuke waited for a moment but as the boy didn’t even look up or glance at him, he bent down and dunked his washcloth into the bucket. The water was just as cold as in the sink and he found it difficult to keep his hand underwater even for a few seconds.

He took the dripping rag and walked over to his bed. Sasuke looked at the kid who was sleeping beside him. The boy was down on his hands and knees, gathering all of the dust and dirt from in between his bed and the bed to his left. Sasuke looked down at the floor and following the other boy’s example he got down on his knees and started wiping down the floor. There wasn’t much dust but quite some sand and dirt gathered from the shoes. By the time he cleaned around and under his bed most kids had already finished, there were only one or two kids finishing together with him and following their lead Sasuke gathered all of the dirt and carried it to the bathroom where everyone threw it out in to the trash can. The walk back into the room was just as quiet and when they returned Sasuke reluctantly threw the washcloth back into the bucket anad walked back to his bed.

He was never one to start conversations or say hello first but this silence was starting to get to him. It was uncomfortable and felt forced in stead of the tired quietness that Sasuke first had expected. By the time everyone finished and got back into their room a man walked in and stood by the door. Sasuke looked up and recognised Kabuto, the man looked the same as he did yesterday evening and any warm feeling of familiarity disappeared when Sasuke remembered what Kabuto had forced him to do. He lowered his gaze from Kabuto’s eyes to his clothes when an uncomfortable and humiliating feeling made itsway into Sasuke’s mind. His chest felt tight and his breathing shallowed but Sasuke didn’t lower his eyes completely to the ground. He didn’t want to seem rude and look like he wasn’t listening, even when he didn’t hear a single word that Kabuto was saying.

Then Kabuto started walking and Sasuke straightened up, his muscles tensing. The young man walked down the middle, his gaze fixed on the right side of the room and Sasuke, suddenly feeling self-councious of his cleaning abilities, realized that Kabuto was checking how well they cleaned their room. Sasuke stayed still and kept his gaze locked in front of him. He didn’t raise his eyes when Kabuto passed him and then stopped. He only looked up when instead of walking further Kabuto turned and stepped in between the two beds. Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows and looked back to see Kabuto crouch down in front of the wall and run his hand against the skirting board. Sasuke heard the man click his tongue against his teeth and sudden, nervous fear washed over him. Had he done something wrong?

“Seems like we’ve got a sluggard in the room.” Kabuto said as he stood up and turned around to face the kids, who were all now looking at him. Sasuke swallowed as his heartbeat started to race. “Or are you just so stupid that you don’t even know how to clean?” The man asked as he walked past Sasuke to stand in the middle of the room. “What, did you grow up in a junk yard where they never tought you how to wipe the dust?” Kabuto scoffed, a cruel smile on his lips as he continued while Sasuke stayed silent, his throat beginning to sting and eyes water from the humiliation. “Or are you just such an animal that your parents never even bothered to teach you how to act like a proper human being? Hm?” Sasuke swallowed.

“No.” He said with his head hanging low, his voice practically a whisper.

“What was that? Speak up I can’t hear you.” Kabuto taunted and Sasuke swallowed.

“No.” He repeated, lowder his time and hated the way his voice cracked.

“No what?” Sasuke wanted to just disappear as Kabuto continued.

“I’m not an animal.” Sasuke said through clenched teeth, his gaze fixed on the ground as angry tear threatened to escape him. Kabuto was silent for a long second that seemed to last forever, then he scoffed.

“Then learn to act like an adequate human being.” Kabuto finally answered and Sasuke could see him turn around to leave. The boy swallowed, his throat burning from the pain. “Let’s go.” Sasuke raised his eyes at the commanding tone of voice. “I’ll lead you to the kitchen.” Though feeling hurt and embarrassed, Sasuke didn’t hesitate as he got off the bed and followed Kabuto out into the hallway. “I will lead you just this once. Remember the way.” Any kindness that might’ve been present yesterday was gone now and there was nothing but hostility evident in Kabuto’s whole demeanour. “Normally we don’t allow any slipups to go by unpunished, after all, not knowing is not an excuse. But since it’s your very first one, I’ll let you get off easy. Just this once.” Sasuke glanced up at Kabuto, feeling a bit better at seeing the man be kinder towards him. “But if you make another mistake today then you’ll be punished double. Understood?” Sasuke nodded and lowered his head back to the floor. Everything looked different with the light on and Sasuke tried to remember all the turns as they made their way to the exit of this building.

“Take one.” Sasuke looked up at the rack with jackets hanging on it. He reached out but stopped his hand mid-air, reluctant to take a jacket as he wasn’t sure which ones already belonged to someone.

“Um…” He wanted to ask Kabuto which one he could take as he began to nervously look between the jackets but before he could even form the question in his head Kabuto snapped.

“Just take one.” The man said, and Sasuke wanted to curl in on himself at the annoyed tone. He clenched his jaw and reached for the jacket that would be closest to him. Then Kabuto didn’t wait for him any longer and pushed open the wooden door. Sasuke quickly put on the dark gray jacket and rushed after Kabuto. The jacket was big on him, just like the rest of the clothes he was given but it was warm which helped a lot in the cold morning air. The sky was still pitch black and it made seeing where he was stepping difficult, much less following Kabuto as the man walked in front of him in long strides. “Breakfast is exactly at 7 am.” Sasuke could hear the man’s quick breaths as he explained while walking. “After today I won’t lead you anymore. You will have to come here by yourself. We remind the kids when it’s time to eat but if you won’t go or if you will come too late it will be completely your fault if you miss the chance to eat, no one will save a portion for you. Understood?”

“Yes.” Sasuke breathed out, shivering from the cold. The jacket might’ve warmed his arms and middle, but he was only wearing shorts and his legs were freezing. The quick pace was difficult to maintain but at least it meant that they would go inside quicker. They walked into another small, wooden building, similar to the one that Sasuke had slept in but the inside here was quite different. In stead immediately stepping into a room or a corridor they stepped into a hall with tables and chairs aligned in the middle.

“You can get your food from there.” Kabuto pointed to a metal table by the far wall of the hall. “When you’re done come get me I’ll lead you to the kitchen to start your chores.”

“Ok.” Sasuke answered and watched as Kabuto walked off to take a plate for himself from the table. Sasuke glanced at the empty rack by the exit and didn’t hang his jacket. The space here wasn’t as warm as their bedrooms were and having just come out rom outside he was still very cold.

Sasuke walked over to the metal table and saw that on every single one of the plates was a plum and a cup of yogurt. The glasses with water were on the lower part of the table. He looked at everything for a few long seconds before picking a plate up. Then Sasuke looked around and saw an empty table further in the corner, that’s where he decided to sit down and eat his breakfast. This hall was just as quiet as their bedrooms were with the only sound being people shifting on their chairs and walking in and out of this place. Just as he was finishing his yogurt Sasuke heard whispers somewhere to the side. When he looked he could see two kids leaning closer to each other, no doubt whispering to one another. That was so strange and Sasuke was beginning to feel like confusion started to become part of his daily life since yesterday night. Some othe boy got up from the table in front of Sasuke and walked towards the wall where the table was. There was a little window to put the dirty dishes through and Sasuke followed the boys lead and put his plate and glass down on a metal table on the other side of the wall.

He found Kabuto sitting by a table together with some other staff members and when he walked over he didn’t even need to say anything for the white haired man to notice him. The other man stopped tralking and everyone’s eyes went on Sasuke which made him shift uncomfortably on his feet but he kept his gaze on the younger man in front of him.

“I’m done.” Kabuto hummed to acknowledge him and then got up. He led Sasuke to a little a hallway and through a door where the kitchen was located. It was almost as long as the hall but it was smaller in width and the kitchen counters, table and stove made it look even tinnier.

“There’s a paper hanging on a wall with today’s menu your job’s to prepare lunch, dinner and tomorrow’s breakfast. The recipe book is on the cabinet and someone else will come and help you later. I’ll be outside and I’ll come get you when it will be time to serve. Understood?” Sasuke took his gaze away from the kitchen’s interior and looked up at Kabuto.

“Yes.” He said and Kabuto was out the door in seconds. Sasuke was left in the unfamiliar kitchen all alone. For a few seconds he simply stood there, contemplating on what he should do until he finally decided to get to work. He took off his jacket and put it on the corner of the table, then Sasuke walked over to the wall near the door where a sheet of paper was hanging.

breakfast…. plum + yogurt
lunch …. carrot soup
dinner…. potato pie

Sasuke stared at the sheet of paper for a few moment and then turned around. Their next meal will be lunch so he will start with that. Carrot soup? Shouldn’t be too hard. He walked over to the counter where a worn looking book was lying. He flipped through the pages and scanned all sort of recipes before finally reaching the soup that he was looking for. There were only two ingredients listed and the preparation itself didn’t seem like it would take long. Sasuke hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should start cooking but Kabuto had told him to do that so he supposed Kabuto knew better and Sasuke began following the instructions. He put the water to boil in a pot on the stove and dropped half a cube of chicken broth in it. Then he found three carrots in the fridge, washed, peeled them and then started to grate them. The carrots were ready by the time the water was already boiling for a few minutes. He put the carrots in the pot and waited.

By the time on the clock it was a bit past 8 am and the soup would be done in less than half an hour. Sasuke sat down by the table and counted the minutes. If this was lunch he wasn’t sure if he made the right decision by making it so soon but Kabuto had told him to do that and the man must know what he’s talking about. Sasuke sighed and began to look around the kitchen. Kabuto didn’t once come check on him and Sasuke had managed to find where all of the cutlery was lying, where were the bowls and what kind of products were in the fridge.

There was no dishwasher so he had to wash everyones dishes from the morning by hand but at least that gave him something to do and get his attention. Sasuke managed to find the bathroom leading out of the kitchen and he spent the rest of his time sitting and day dreaming. He was hungry as he hadn’t been very full from his breakfast and lunch was neering soon. But Sasuke wasn’t sure if he was allowed to take anything from the kitchen so he sat waiting. It had been a bit past 11am when Kabuto finally decided to come into the kitchen. He looked over the place and hummed, acknowledging the fact that Sasuke cleaned up.

“Are you done?”

“Yes.” Sasuke happily got off his chair and stood up.

“Right now there are 23 kids here. Get the needed amount of bowls, glasses of water and put everything on the metal table outside.” Sasuke listened with his full attention and then he nodded. Kabuto left quickly after that, showing hat he won’t be of any help and left Sasuke to take care of everything by himself.

They ate lunch at around 12 pm and even though it wasn’t the most amazing meal, it was still something to eat and Sasuke had made it by himself, which he was really proud of. He never cooked at home as his mother took care of that so he believed that this was a nice skill to learn and practise. The staff here weren’t very soft or nice but maybe they were right, maybe they were teaching valuable life skills here. Sasuke wondered as he ate. The hall was just as quiet as during breakfast and after he ate everything Sasuke was brought back to the kitchen.

“Get started on dinner, I’ll come get you when it’ll be time to go to lessons, then we’ll eat dinner and then it’ll be time for group therapy. So hurry up.” Sasuke nodded and before he could verbally answer Kabuto was already out the door.

Sasuke looked at he metal table covered in dirty bowls and he wondered if he should first wash them and then get started cooking or if he should do it the other way around but by the time he made up his mind he was already walking towards the recipe book. Potato pie… That’s the first time Sasuke’s ever heard something like that and the recipe itself seemed to be easy enough just make a potato pure, add some spices, milk and put it in the oven.

He found the potatoes and peeler easily enough but when he started peeling he was quickly disappointed to see that more than half of the potatoes had deep black spots on them. And more potatoes found themselves in a bowl amongst peels in stead of in between the good potatoes. At some point Kabuto walked into the kitchen and silently camt to stand in front of Sasuke. The raven-haired boy looked up at him in question and the bowl with the peels was suddenly kicked, making Sasuke flinch.

“What’s that?” Sasuke looked up at the young man, surprise written on his face.

“Um… peels and rotten potatoes.” Sasuke said uncertainly, not understanding what got Kabuto so upset.

“Why are you throwing the potatoes out?” Sasuke blinked, confusion taking over him.

“They’re… rotten.” He repeated, his tone of voice a bit hesitant and Kabuto scoffed.

“Perfect food for animals like you, don’t you think?” Sasuke swallowed, his brows coming together in a frown. “Stop wasting food and put these with the rest of them.” Kabuto ordered sternly and stepped to the side to leave the kitchen. He didn’t even stay to make sure that Sasuke would follow his order, as if he was certain that the boy would listen. And he wasn’t wrong as Sasuke reluctantly put the bad potatoes together with the good ones.

Sasuke was left alone later and he had just finished making the pure when he heard the kitchen door open. He looked over, expecting to see Kabuto but in stead he saw a boy with white hair. He walked in with his hands in his pockets and looked Sasuke up and down. Their gazes met for a few moments before the boy turned to look at the mess on the counter, sighed and looked up at the clock. Sasuke felt his cheeks heat, embarrassed that it seemed like this boy was critiquing his ability to cook and clean while he himself was gone for half the day. Sasuke looked down, biting on his lower lip as embarrassment and anger mixed together in his gut. The white haired boy rolled up his sleeves and walked over to the counter. He turned on the water and began to wash the dishes.

Sasuke couldn’t even remember this boys name and it felt like he was being judged which made everything feel horrible. Then the boy leaned back and looked at the closed door and when it seemed that what he was waiting for didn’t happen, he turn to look at Sasuke.

“Hey, name’s Suigetsu. You new?” Sasuke blinked, a bit taken aback. His voice didn’t sound mean and he spoke in a gentle whisper, as if scared that someone could hear them.

“Um… yes.” Sasuke answered in an equally quiet tone of voice. “I’m Uchiha Sasuke, I came here yesterday night.” Suigetsu hummed.

“Fucking newbies… always messing shit up.” Sasuke stared, astonished and confused, the pure in the bowl completely forgotten. “No wonder Kabuto puts ya’ll on kitchen duty first.” Suigetsu sighed and looked away from the dishes to look Sasuke right in the eyes. “Well, luckily for you, I’m just back from a hike and I’m fucking starving. So I ain’t gonna let you fuck up. I want to eat tonight.” Sasuke didn’t say anything, too confused to even know what to say and not brave enough to ask a stranger the questions that he desperately wanted answers to, like what did he mean by he wanted to eat tonight, and why did Kabuto put him here? Instead Sasuke swallowed, took the bowl with the potatoes to the table and took out a form.

“Is that your jacket?” Sasuke looked up again but this time the white haired boy had his back turned to him.

“Yes.”

“Don’t leave it lying around.”

“Sorry.” Sasuke felt his cheeks heat again and then he heard Suigetsu scoff.

“Jesus, you really are new in a place like this. Don’t apologise and don’t leave your shit lying around ‘cause someone will come and snatch it. So you took something- that’s yours now. Don’t leave it nowhere.” Sasuke looked at the boy for a few long seconds.

“Ok… thanks for the advice.” Suigetsu finished washing the last bowl and put it on the drying rack.

“Alright,” He wiped his hands onto his clothes and turned to face Sasuke. “Rule number 1 - never leave the kitchen dirty, even while you’re cooking. Orochimaru hates when his kitchen is dirty so naturally Kabuto hates it too, only that damn sociopath puts newbies here on purpous.” Suigetsu took a washcloth, wet it with water and started wiping down the counters where Sasuke had made a mess with the potatoes. “Newbies can never clean the kitchen properly so that gives him a chance to get someone to beat the shit out of ‘em.” Sasuke swallowed as he watched Suigetsu work, the lean muscle in his arms working as he wiped.

“I’ll help you clean up and we better hurry ‘cause Kabuto ’ll be here soon. Can’t let him see this. And remember this for the future.”

“Ok.” Sasuke whispered and took the empty bowl to the sink and turned on the water. With Suigetsu having started the conversation and given him some tips, the white haired boy didn’t look so intimidating anymore. “Why is everyone so quiet?” Sasuke asked the question that’s been swimming in his head since morning.

“No talking allowed amongst kids. That’s one of the rules.” Suigetsu answered without looking back at Sasuke. “And don’t talk with the adults unless you’re spoken to. That’s pretty much in the same boat.” Saske hummed and looked down at the sink.

“What if someone catches us talking.”

“We broke a rule.” Suigetsu sighed. “That means we would get punished. But you know,” Suigetsu finally turned to look at him and smiled, a sharp tooth peaking out from underneath his upper lip. “If no one sees us then everything’s allowed.” Sasuke didn’t let the corners of his lips turn upwards but he liked the way this boy was speaking.

“What kind of punishments are there?” Suigetsu shrugged.

“They can degrade you, they can beat you, they can take away your food, covers, bed… Depends on what you did and who’s punishing you.” Sasuke put the bowl next to the others.

“What about toothbrushes? Showers? Where can I get them?” The raven-haired boy asked as he put the pie to cook in the oven and in the corner of his eye he could see Suigetsu smile.

“That’s a privilege. Showers, warm water, other hygien things, calling your parents that’s all a privilege. You don’t get them. You earn them.” Sasuke kept his eyes locked on the old oven, it reminded him of the one at his grandpa’s house and the memory of his family made his eyes well with tears but he swallowed them down.

“How long have you been here?” Sasuke whispered.

“Fuck if I know.” The other boy sighed and in the next moment the kitchen door opened and Kabuto stepped inside.

Chapter 4

Summary:

New lessons and punishments

Going to school and not seeing Sasuke there was unusual and when Naruto remembered that it was because the boy left to a whole other school and didn’t even say goodbye, it left him feeling angry. They were supposed to be friends and yet the bastard couldn’t even give Naruto a heads up that he’ll be leaving. It was so unfair. Naruto always tried to invite Sasuke whenever their friend group got together, sure most of the time the other boy declined, but he could at least give a bit of the same energy and wouldn’t leave Naruto out on such big things.

Though it seems like Naruto wasn’t the only one surprised. When yesterday evening he told his parents about the sad news, Minato didn’t react in any way but his mom seemed to share his feelings that it was strange that Sasuke left without saying goodbye and it was even stranger that Mikoto hadn’t told Kushina anything about it. Later that night Naruto overheard his mom talking with her friend on the phone and apparently it had been a spontaneous decision that no one had really prepared for and that was why no one other than the teachers were informed beforehand. Still, that didn’t lighten Naruto’s sour mood. He had gone to bed upset and he woke up the same way in the morning. And going to school didn’t help him at all.

“Can you believe him?” Naruto grumbled to the brown-haired boy sitting next to him. “One day he’s at school, the next- he’s missing. It’s like he left during the night. And he didn’t even say goodbye. I mean- who does that?” Kiba sighed and looked up from his lunch.

“You’ve been talking about him the whole morning, Naruto. We get it, you miss him already but does that really mean that you’re going to talk about him like he’s some lost lover for the rest of the day?” Naruto scoffed and straightened up in his chair, his expression portraying just how insulted he seemed. He glanced to the left where his blue eyes landed on Sakura, who was talking with Hinata. The girl didn’t look like she had heard what Kiba said and Naruto let out a relieved breath, leaning closer to the other boy.

“Don’t say that.” Naruto whispered. “He’s not my lover, not my boyfriend and I don’t like him like that. I’m just- well I’m pissed! That’s all. I mean, for Christ’s sake, Kiba, he left and didn’t even say a word beforehand.” Kiba sighed and shook his head.

“There he goes again…”

What everyone called ‘school’ here passed quickly. It was strange and the way everyone sat around two tables and did their work quietly while Orochimaru was looking over everyone and teaching the kids new topics, depending on their age group, was unusual. But after everything else that Sasuke experienced and saw today, he learned not to be surprised by it all. A part of him even appreciated the peace and quiet that was so different from his usual day at school. This place was strange and not at all what Sasuke was used to or was expecting.

After school everyone got up and made their way to the cafeteria. This whole time Sasuke made sure to stay close to the only kid here that was somewhat nice to him. Suigetsu had cussed at him and made it clear how much he hated the fact that Sasuke was new here but on the other hand he helped Sasuke. He made sure that Sasuke didn’t mess up and none of them were punished. And when Sasuke stayed close to the white-haired boy- sat next to him during lessons and didn’t even stay a step behind when they walked to the cafeteria- Suigetsu didn’t say one bad word.

In truth, he didn’t say anything at all, no one did. Everyone stayed silent just like before. Now Sasuke wasn’t confused by the silence - it wasn’t allowed - but what confused him was why it wasn’t allowed. These rules were strange and he couldn’t comprehend them but he wasn’t going to rebel against them. Suigetsu has been clear that punishments here can be far worse than simply being called a few bad names. When they got to the cafeteria they took one plate each and sat down at a table further in the back.

This was supposed to be their dinner, their last meal after a day of working and learning and Sasuke was starving but the memories of the rotten potatoes in the pie Made him hesitate. The portions and food here was nothing that Sasuke was used to. A fruit and a yogurt for breakfast, a watered down soup for lunch and now a small portion of mashed and cooked potatoes. He was hungry but he stared at the food mistrustingly while Suigetsu seemingly obliviously dug into the dinner like it was the first meal he’s had in weeks.

“There are rotten potatoes in that, you know.” He whispered, remembering the soft, at parts squishy and black potatoes. Sasuke kept his head hanging low and stared at the plate in front of him. He could see Suigetsu swallow and hum.

“They always do that. Buy the cheapest things and don’t even let ’em go to waste.” Suigetsu’s voice was barely a whisper, if Sasuke hadn’t been so close and paying attention he wouldn’t have heard it. The raven-haired boy let out a sigh and put his hands together in front of him. In the corner of his eye Sasuke could see that Suigetsu stopped eating and was glancing at him.

“The hell are you doing?” Sasuke ignored the whisper and focused on the prayer, thanking god for the meal that he was given, just like his father had taught him to do before every meal. When he finished he opened his eyes and took his fork in hand.

“I was saying grace.” Suigetsu was silent and Sasuke took the opportunity to finally take a bite of the food in front of him. The taste was strange, it couldn’t be compared to the delicious meals his mother cooked but when you’re starving anything will taste good. Then Sasuke heard a scoff and could see Suigetsu shaking his head before going back to his food.

When they finished eating everyone went back to the building where their lessons took place and sat down on the floor in a half circle. Sasuke was mentally preparing himself for what he might see or hear during therapy hour.

Orochimaru sat in front of them with a fond smile on his face and looked at each kid. During the lessons Orochimaru had been gentle as he explained the new topics to other kids and he was quite kind when he rated Sasuke’s math test. It always felt nice to be complimented on his skills and having this new person, who had authority in this place, be the one to say those kind words, left Sasuke even more happy and blushing than when it would simply be his middle school teachers. This man was a stranger, someone new and not only was he nice to Sasuke but he also saw how good the boy was at certain things.

So far Orochimaru seemed like the only grownup in this place who didn’t seem to hate him and look at him with disdain. He smiled at them and his overall demeanor seemed to be calm and welcoming. From first glance the man seemed like a truly kind person, who only wanted the best for these kids, but a part of Sasuke still stayed on edge. It might’ve been due to the things he heard earlier today but even with Kabuto standing further away and Orochimaru being the one who’s everyone’s attention was on, Sasuke still felt uneasy.

A strange part of him made him compare Orochimaru to his father. Though Orochimaru’s expression seemed gentle, Sasuke could recognize that look from a mile away. Orochimaru wasn’t looking at them with kindness in his eyes, rather, he was assessing them and taking in their appearance. Even if Orochimaru wasn’t letting any negative emotion or thought show on his face, Sasuke still felt judged and uneasy. A quiet voice in his mind telling him that he needed to look perfect which was hard to quiet as he felt the furthest thing away from perfect. He hadn’t brushed his teeth, taken a shower or brushed his hair. He felt dirty and strange in a place like this. But that didn’t seem to be bothering anyone else and soon Orochimaru let out a quiet sigh and began talking.

“Hello to those who I haven’t seen today.” The man’s voice was as gentle as yesterday and he still dragged out the s’ of every word. It was an unusual quirk that Sasuke noticed yesterday but he forced himself to focus on the man’s words and not the way he spoke. “Today, as some of you have noticed, we have a new boy, who joined us yesterday.” Sasuke subconsciously sat up straighter when he realized that Orochimaru spoke about him. “I hope that it wasn’t too difficult to get used to our routine and without waiting any further, I believe we should begin and introduce ourselves.” Orochimaru’s gaze traveled from Sasuke to the other kids there and stopped at the boy who Sasuke was sitting next to.

“Suigetsu, my dear boy, why don’t you give Sasuke an example on how an introduction should look like.” Sasuke could hear Suigetsu audibly sigh and shuffle, putting his hands in his lap.

“My name’s Suigetsu Hoozuki.” He began, speaking louder, no longer in the gentle whisper that Sasuke had only heard before. His tone of voice sounded raw, Sasuke couldn’t exactly call it scratchy but it sounded like he either talked and used his voice too much or didn’t use his voice at all for a very long time and Sasuke guessed it must be the latter. “And I’m here because I was using drugs.”

Sasuke lowered his eyes to the ground as he listened, letting the information sink in. He heard Orochimaru hum before the man started talking.

“Very good, now why don’t we continue in order.” Then a boy on Suigetsu’s right started talking, then a girl and so on until almost every kid here had spoken. Sasuke couldn’t even wrap his head around most of their offenses, almost every single one of them did drugs, got into fights, drank alcohol, got into arguments with their parents. Such things seemed so outrageous and impossible to do in Sasuke’s head, and yet most of them were here exactly because of such behavior. When a girl on Sasuke’s left stopped talking he realized that it was now his turn to introduce himself. Sasuke swallowed and looked down at the floor.

“Um…” The raven-haired boy sat up straighter. “My name is Uchiha Sasuke. And I’m here because I…” His gaze focused on the floor and his eyes grew distant. “Because I smoked.” It felt so strange to admit it. After everything that he heard, saying that he got here because of a cigarette felt insulting, not because he felt like he could’ve done something more but because one cigarette was all that it took for his father to send him away. Orochimaru hummed, letting a moment of silence surround them as if he was waiting for something to happen or was expecting Sasuke to say something more.

“Now that we’ve all introduced ourselves,” the man spoke. “I believe that it’s the perfect time to read the letter your parents sent you.” Sasuke looked up, his big dark eyes shining in curiosity. “We’ve only got a few letters this week.” Orochimaru turned and reached behind his back where a few opened letters were lying. Orochimaru looked at the name written on the envelope. “Sasuke, my dear, this is for you.” The man reached with the letter forward towards the boy and Sasuke took it, anticipation growing inside of him. He didn’t even notice or care that the envelope had been opened beforehand.

The few other kids reached for their letters with a lot less excitement evident in their features. Suigetsu took the letter from Orochimaru and sat back down beside Sasuke, the white-haired boy looked at it with boredom but Sasuke was too preoccupied with his own letter to care about what the others were doing.

“Now,” Orochimaru said when every letter got handed out. “As everyone already knows, we have rules here and one of the rules is that if you wish to read the letters your family sent you, you must read them out loud.” Sasuke raised his head to look at Orochimaru again, the strange rule making him frown. “Who would like to start?” Sasuke glanced at the kids sitting around him. No one made a move to speak up or begin and as the silence stretched on Sasuke looked at Orochimaru and spoke up.

“I could go first.” The man smiled at him.

“Very good, go on.” Orochimaru encouraged and Sasuke looked down at the envelope in his hands. In the corner of his eye he could see Suigetsu looking at it too but he didn’t pay the other boy much mind as he took a folded letter from it. He put the empty envelope on the floor in between him and Suigetsu and unfolded the paper. It was written completely from top to bottom in black ink and Sasuke recognised the curved and a bit hurried hand writing as his mothers. A strange, tight feeling settled in his chest from the familiarity and Sasuke swallowed, focusing on the words.

“Dear Sasuke,” he spoke aloud, just like Orochimaru had told him too. “My sweet boy, I can still remember just what a small and curious child you used to be. Looking up at everything with big black eyes and wanting to prove yourself worthy to every adult in your life. You have always been such a good child. I would have never imagined that it would ever come to this. We tried our best when raising you and hoped that you would grow up to be a good boy just like your brother.” Sasuke swallowed before continuing.

“But we must’ve done something wrong as it seems like you have fallen to the temptations of the devil. It always starts with a cigarette and then it grows into alcohol and drugs.” Sasuke tried not to think about the words that were no doubt spoken by his father and forced himself to continue reading. “We fear and worry for you and we don’t want you to live such a life. The thought that we might see you lying somewhere on the street with needles in your arms terrifies us. We hope that you will come back with the same sparkle in your eyes that you had before you changed. Orochimaru has assured us that through hard work and the help of nature, he will make sure that you will be rebuilt into a better person.
We believe that this is for the best, we love you, and hope that you understand why, even with aching hearts, we must send you away.
Your mother and father.”

When Sasuke finished reading, he swallowed, feeling a painful sting go down his throat. He hadn’t even realized how the guilt and shame made his eyes shine as tears gathered in them. His parents always tried their best to raise him right and he disappointed them so much with this stupid behavior. No one forced the cigarette in his mouth, he did it himself and now he was paying the price. Even if he felt hurt that his parents sent him away in such a terrifying manner, a part of him was starting to believe that maybe this was truly for the better.

“You shouldn’t cry, my dear child.” Orochimaru’s soft voice caught his attention and Sasuke looked up, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand before the tears could start falling. “You should’ve thought about this before you decided to disobey your parents.” Sasuke sniffed and nodded.

“Suigetsu, my dear, do you want to continue?” Orochimaru offered and Sasuke forced himself to listen and not let the letter and the man’s words get to his head.

“No.” Orochimaru hummed at the answer.

“And why is that?” The white-haired boy beside Sasuke didn’t even shrug, just looked to the side as if he wanted to sigh.

“I don’t care what they have to say. I don’t want to read it. It was probably written by their secretary anyway.” He mumbled the last part to himself.

“Very well then. Anyone else?” Sasuke had expected the man to be angry at the downright rude answers Suigetsu had given him but Orochimaru didn’t seem to care, or at least he didn’t look like he was going to comment on it. Once again no one raised their hands or volunteered and Orochimaru had called out a name. This boy didn’t seem to have the guts to speak to Orochimaru the same way that Suigetsu had or maybe he wanted to know what his parents had written to him but simply wasn’t brave enough to volunteer himself. Either way, he read the letter out loud obediently and soon every letter, except for Suigetsu's, had been read. Most of them seemed to be of similar structure to Sasuke’s letter - parents expressing concern for their kids’ behaviour and saying how much they missed them and couldn't wait until they were allowed to go home.

“Seems like those were all of the letters we had.” Orochimaru spoke softly, his eyes roaming over the kids while Sasuke kept his gaze down on the floor, still experiencing the shame that his parents’ letter made him feel. “We still have half an hour left. Why don’t we continue where we left off yesterday. Karin, dear girl, come here.” Sasuke looked up, suddenly gaining interested in what activities they were about to do. Everyone stayed still for a few long seconds but then he noticed a red-haired girl slowly get up. She walked over to stand in the center of the half circle, in front of everyone and she looked uncomfortable. Her hands intertwined in front of her and eyes cast down. She looked tense and Sasuke thought that it must be stage fright, standing in front of 30 kids must be scary for someone who’s not used to it. “Why don’t you introduce yourself again? We have a new boy, remind him your name and why we are doing this.” Karin’s eyes seemed to search the ground and she swallowed.

“My name is Karin Uzumaki.” Uzumaki… Sasuke repeated in his head, the familiar surname making him wonder if by any chance she was related to his blonde friend, she did look like his mom. “And I’m here because… because my mom and step dad thought that the way I was acting was unacceptable.” She got quiet, keeping her eyes low on the ground and Orochimaru spoke up, encouraging her to continue.

“And why were you acting that way, dear?” She kept quiet for a second, thinking, and Sasuke wondered if she was always this uncomfortable talking about it or was it because of him.

“Because I didn’t like the way my step father was treating me.”

“And?” Karin swallowed, growing even more tense as Orochimaru continued trying to get her to say something more.

“And… We- I mean, I learn here how to accept and ignore the…” She cut herself off and hesitated before speaking again. “The ways he touched me.” Karin said the last sentence quickly, keeping her head cast low, not meeting anyone’s eyes. It took Sasuke by surprise. When everyone was introducing themselves he didn’t remember that anyone would’ve said something like that but then again, no one would want to introduce themselves that way. Now Sasuke understood why she was so reluctant to speak. Orochimaru hummed, as if pleased that he finally got what he wanted.

“That’s right, dear, learning to deal with such problems is exactly what we do during this hour. Remind me, where did we stop yesterday?” Karin fiddled with her fingers.

“I was learning to not see those touches as a bad thing.” She muttered, her voice so quiet that if it hadn’t been so silent in the room, Sasuke wouldn’t have heard it.

“That’s right. After all, life is full of people touching us and those touches aren’t bad. You can’t spend the rest of your life crying over something so minor. That’s why here we are learning to ignore and desensitize them. Let’s begin. Who should be your partner today?” Orochimaru looked at the kids sitting in front of him, his eyes scanning each one of them. “Suigetsu, dear boy, why don’t you assist us today too.” Sasuke glanced at the white-haired boy sitting in front of him.

He didn’t move and didn’t say anything, which Sasuke didn’t expect. The boy kept his face neutral, his emotions hidden perfectly but Sasuke guessed that he wasn’t feeling as calm as he looked. Suigetsu sighed and stood up, pushing himself off the floor, like the move required a lot of energy. He stuck his hands into his pockets and walked over to Karin, standing on Orochimaru’s other side, in front of the girl. They both stayed quiet, looking anywhere but at each other, and Sasuke wondered what they were going to do.

“Does everyone remember what they must do?” Sasuke could hear some of the kids answering a quiet ‘yes’, while others hummed in agreement. “Good. Sasuke, dear, simply follow the lead of the other kids.”

“Yes, sir.” He answered, wondering where this was heading. When nothing happened in the next few seconds and both of the kids in front of him stayed still, Orochimaru looked at them, his gaze not concealing just how impatient he was.

“We don’t have all day. Begin.” They stayed quiet and after a moment Sasuke could hear Suigetsu sigh as the boy shifted. He finally looked at the girl and without warning pushed her on the shoulder, the force of which knocked her down on her ass, making her land on the hardwood floor. Sasuke winced, imagining the pain she must’ve felt but she stayed silent as if she was used to this. Then Suigetsu moved to kneel in between her legs. That caught Sasuke completely off guard, he didn’t know what to expect but never in his life would he have guessed that the white-haired boy would do that but no one else seemed surprised as they silently sat and watched everything happen.

Suigetsu grabbed Karin by the thighs and forced her legs apart, pulling her closer towards himself. Sasuke could hear the girl audibly gasp, her voice going in a high whimper. He could see how Karin’s eyes filled with tears and she put her hand on her mouth, while Sasuke watched with wide eyes, unable to believe. Then Suigetsu put his hands on the ground, caging her head in between them, that’s when Sasuke heard the first ‘whore’ leave some kids' mouths. He looked to the side where the noise had come from but no one seemed surprised, not even the two kids in the center. Orochimaru didn’t seem to care either as he looked at them, observing everything intently. Then Suigetsu started moving his hips in a crude manner and another insult came and soon everyone, except for Sasuke, seemed to have called the girl a name. Everything ranged from calling her a ‘slut’ to someone saying that she was clearly enjoying what was happening to her.

The two kids in front of them had changed position two more times, all of which have been with Suigetsu taking the lead as Karin seemed to be trying to stay as still as possible, not moving a muscle. And all of those positions have been vulgar, with Suigetsu touching and groping her in ways Sasuke couldn’t have even imagined. By this point insults were flying like rain and tears were flowing freely from the girl’s face. It was horrible, confusing and terrifying and yet Sasuke realized that he couldn’t look away. Too transfixed, in shock and horror, to look anywhere other than the couple in front of him. Karin’s cries were muffled by her hand but Sasuke could still hear them, even over the insults being shouted at them.

“Sasuke.” The boy almost flinched as he raised his eyes at the mention of his name. He had forgotten that Orochimaru was sitting there for a moment but it got everyone’s attention, even Suigetsu seemed to stop his moment and glance at him. The white-haired boy’s brows were furrowed and he looked like he was out of breath as if he had just finished a workout but Sasuke forced himself to focus on the man and not the boy in front of him. “Why aren’t you talking?” Sasuke frowned as he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Huh?..”

“I told you to follow the lead of the other kids, why did you stay quiet?” Sasuke stayed silent, his frown still on his face. He felt like he was still too shocked to even form full sentences. “Do you not care about helping Karin get over her trauma?” Sasuke stared at the man. He couldn’t be serious, Sasuke couldn’t believe it and yet Orochimaru seemed as serious as ever. Sasuke wet his lips and swallowed.

“Because this isn’t right.”

“Oh?” Orochimaru raised a brow at him. “How so?” Sasuke could feel his anger raising. He wanted to scoff but years of manner lessons didn’t allow him to, no matter how absurd the situation seemed. He could see Karin turn to look at him but he didn’t pay attention to her.

“Forcing two kids into these positions isn’t right all by itself.” Sasuke reminded himself not to go into detail as he remembered all of his bible lessons and forced himself to stick to what’s most important. “Especially when someone’s been through something horrible. This isn’t healing, this isn’t helping her get used to every day touch. This is… humiliating! You’re not helping her by bullying her!” Sasuke noticed how his voice grew louder as his anger took over him but he didn’t care to lower it. Orochimaru was quiet for a long second but before Sasuke could begin to regret his words, the man spoke up.

“Refusing to participate in group activity is breaking the rules, dear. I don’t think you want to do that, especially on your first day.” His voice stayed gentle just as before but his eyes were narriwed and looked calculating, wondering.

“If it’s something as horrible as this then I won’t be participating.” Everyone stayed silent. It felt as if no one even dared to move a muscle or breathe but Sasuke didn’t take his eyes away from the man, as if challenging him in a stare off.

“Very well then.” Orochuimaru’s tone or demeniour didn’t seem to change one bit as he spoke but the air in the room seemed to grow tenser. “Karin, Suigetsu you can go back to your seats.” The man spoke without taking his eyes off Sasuke. All of his submissive instincts and habits coiling around him and making him want to lower his gaze but he fought it. Sasuke wasn’t sure if it was because it wasn’t his father who he was looking at, and he wasn’t as afraid of Orochimaru or because he was growing confidence but either way he didn’t lower his eyes to the ground.

In the corner of his eyes he could see Karin and Suigetsu pull away from each other as if burnt. As if the only thing that kept them in that position was Orochiamaru’s word. The two of them walked back to the rest of the kids, keeping their eyes cast low and not looking at anyone. While Karin’s face was flushed with tears, Suigetsu took an awkward step to the side and Sasuke could see him adjust himself through his pants. When the white-haired boy sat back down next to Sasuke, he didn’t look as calm as he did when leaving. Though Suigetsu didn’t show any clear signs of discomfort Sasuke noticed how the boys eyebrows were furrowed until he found a comfortable way to sit on the ground.

“Such behavior is not tolerated here, Sasuke. I’m very disappointed in you, my dear boy.” A sharp pain stabbed him in the chest at the man’s words, the unusual feeling of letting someone down started to take over him but Sasuke fought it, reminding himself that he didn’t regret not saying those words to Karin. The girl didn’t deserve it and he could handle a little punishment. Orochimaru seemed to wait a moment, looking at Sasuke, trying to see how the boy would react before he spoke again. “Everyone is free now. Therapy hour is over but, you Sasuke, stay here.” The kids stood up, some slower than other but no one seemed to stay longer than needed as everyone made their way out of the building without looking back.

Only Suigetsu and, as Sasuke could see in the corner of his eye, Karin hesitated to leave as they looked at Sasuke for a second before making their way out of the building. Now that they were alone Sasuke finally truly felt the weight of the stare. Orochimaru didn’t look angry or mean, his face void of any negative emotion but he didn’t seem as kind as before. With no one by his side the sudden feeling of being trapped and in danger started to take over him as Kabuto came closer to them. Orochimaru looked at him for another long second, before standing up and leaving.

“Have fun with him but don’t break him too much.” Sasuke could hear the man tell Kabuto as he walked past the boy and soon the door closed, leaving them alone.

Kabuto didn’t waste a second and soon a strong grip took hold of his upper arm and Sasuke was pulled to stand on his feet. Everything happened so fast that Sasuke didn’t even notice how he was dragged outside and pulled towards a group of other adults who looked like they were smoking and enjoying what looked like a break.

“We got a rule breaker already?” One of them asked as they came to a stop, though Kabuto didn’t remove his hold from Sasuke. The white haired man next to him hummed in affirmation.

“His first day. It was only a matter of time before you guys ‘d get your hand on him.” One of the bigger men hummed.

“Kids these days really lack the brains to act right. Good thing we’re here.” He chuckled and stepped closer. Before Sasuke could even brace himself he felt a strong kick to his chest and Kabuto let him go. Sasuke was sent flying and landed on the ground on his back. The kick knocked all of the air out of his lungs and the first few breaths that he tried to take in were utter torture. His abdomen muscles burned in pain and he wasn’t able to get up.

Sasuke rolled over to the side, keeping his head hanging low to the ground as he took in gasping breaths. This was nothing like what he's experienced before. He knew that punishments were severe but a part of him had expected a spanking and not an actual beating. Sasuke could hear footsteps in front of him and he looked up with his teary eyes just as the man came closer to him.

Notes:

Hello, everyone,

I apologize for the prolonged delay. It really wasn’t in my plans to post chapter 4 so late, but the past few weeks have been pretty rough. Then I hoped to publish this on Sunday but sadly I spent the last five days puking my guts out which didn’t really put me in the mindset to write, nor did I have the energy to do it.

But either way, the chapter is finally out, I’m happy with it and I’m happy to finally be back posting.

This one was definitely a tough one to write mentally and I’m really excited to see what you guys think about it.

Chapter 5

Summary:

Learning the way the world works

Naruto closed his locker door, locked it and stepped away. His friends were already in class, but not all of them. He wasn’t sure what Sasuke was doing, maybe the raven-haired boy was sitting in class too, maybe he was talking with his new friends or maybe he was sitting all alone. The latter option seemed more likely. Sasuke wasn’t the type of kid to go around and make new friends easily. Even here, in their hometown, surrounded by kids they knew their whole lives, Sasuke barely got out and socialized.

It always looked like the boy found books and studying more appealing than spending time with friends. For as long as Naruto can remember it has always been uncommon for Sasuke to agree to hang out with them but even so Naruto always tried. Even if they usually hung out together only because their moms were friends, over time Naruto grew fond of the raven-haired boy. Sure he acted like an annoying know-it-all most of the time but he was still Naruto’s friend. Or at least Naruto saw and cared for Sasuke as a friend but now he wasn’t so sure if Sasuke viewed Naruto the same way. After all, friends don’t abandon friends.

It’s been three days since Naruto found out that Sasuke left and he was still sour about it. At one point his teenage mind started making up all sorts of scenarios that could explain the sudden disappearance - maybe Sasuke got kidnapped, maybe he got so embarrassingly sick that now he’s hiding away at home and is lying about being away, maybe he ran away from home - but all of those ideas would die quickly enough. No matter how much he wanted to believe otherwise, even he understood that the possibility of them happening was close to impossible.

Sasuke couldn’t have been kidnapped - every person and cop in their town would be on their feet looking for him - and Naruto couldn’t think of any sickness that would appear out of the blue and be so horrible that Sasuke wouldn’t be able to step outside, and the boy couldn’t have run away. Once again, his dad’s a cop and the man would have the whole police force looking for his son. And that just didn’t seem like something that Sasuke would do. Naruto was left out of ideas and options. He had to accept the fact that he experienced his first betrayal from a friend. And it hurt.

He had never been left like that before and it stung but his other friends didn’t seem too bothered by it. They all agreed that it was strange for Sasuke to leave so suddenly and out of the blue but no one seemed very bothered by it. Only Shino understood Naruto’s pain as the boy agreed that it was a strange and mean thing to do, even for Sasuke. While Shikamaru reminded them that Sasuke had always been closed off and it wasn’t that strange that he left without telling anyone anything. None of them were very close with the boy, which Naruto found outright insulting.

The others might have not been close with him but out of all of them Naruto thought that he knew Sasuke. Which was why he was the most hurt. The girls of course had been heartbroken but Naruto could never say that their pain was similar. He didn’t lose a pretty boy to gawk at during classes, he lost his friend and that made him feel like his pain was far more serious than theirs, though he never said it out loud, especially not in front of Sakura or Ino. Those girls would’ve no doubt sent him flying into the wall if they heard him say that. In the last few days Naruto thought about writing another letter but the idea, that it could be read by Sasuke’s parents or anyone else for that matter, made him too embarrassed to write. And just like that another day began with Naruto not being able to see his friend or stop thinking about him.

 

When Sasuke was awoken the next morning he felt even worse than when he went to bed. Once again he barely got any sleep and the kicks and punches, that were no doubt blossoming into dark bruises, didn’t let him lay comfortably on the bed. He couldn’t find any position to relieve him of the discomfort as no matter which way he turned to lay, his body hurt. With each breath, no matter how tiny, his ribs would rise and fall with an aching soreness that reminded him of the beating. And when the ligh was finally turned on in the room he wasn’t sure if he was relieved that he could finally get out of bed and do something or sad because he didn’t even get an ounce of rest and a whole day of cleaning was waiting for him.

He found the chores’ list quickly and quietly, when he saw that he was supposed to clean up outside Sasuke glanced to the side and noticed a familiar head of white hair. Suigetsu was looking at the list and Sasuke quickly scanned the pages with his eyes again, hoping that they might be together but the other boy was put to clean the canteen. Then they went back to clean their bedrooms and Sasuke followed Suigetsu with his gaze to see what room the boy was staying in. Sasuke was hoping to only have to stay here for 10 days and even if it wasn’t very long, being by Suigetsu’s side has been a good idea so far. The boy had been here for a very long time now. Suigetsu knew all the ins and outs of this place and so far he had only helped Sasuke. And when yesterday evening Sasuke was going back to the building with their bedrooms, holding onto his abdomen, as if that would ease the pain, he saw Suigetsu standing by the front door.

The white haired boy hadn’t said anything, only followed after him and walked Sasuke to his room. It wasn’t much but the familiar presence was comforting after experiencing such cruelty and Sasuke wasn’t expecting Suigetsu to speak when they both knew that a staff member was right around the corner. Last night Sasuke wasn’t able to see which room Suigetsu went in to and so he hoped to be more successful right now. Right before stepping through the doorway of his own room Sasuke managed to catch a glimpse of Suigetsu going into the very last bedroom down the hall and feeling proud with himself for succeeding, Sasuke stepped inside and began cleaning.

When he walked into the canteen Suigetsu wasn’t there yet and Sasuke got himself a plate with a banana and a granola bar and sat down at an empty table, where he and Suigetsu had sat yesterday. Sasuke put his hands together and closed his eyes, reciting the prayer. At some point he felt someone sit down next to him and when he opened his eyes a few seconds later, he saw Suigetsu already eating the banana. The white-haired boy was quietly chewing and looking at him. Sasuke ignored the frown on Suigetsu’s face and picked up his banana.

“Why do you do that?” Sasuke looked up and hummed, not understanding Suigetsu’s question. “Praying. I get you’re saying thanks and all but-” Suigetsu cut himself off when he heard a chair screech on the floor. Kabuto had stood up from his seat and left the canteen and Suigetsu didn’t say a word until Kabuto was gone. He had been frozen like a rabbit, quietly staring until the danger disappeared. But Sasuke couldn’t call him a rabbit. They were all weaker here, they were all the prey here, they all knew that but Suigetsu’s eyes, the way his gaze followed Kabuto, the way he handled himself and walked did not look like a victim’s stance. And Sasuke wondered just how Suigetsu acted when he wasn’t forced to act so docile in order to survive. Suigetsu leaned closer to him. “But why the hell are you thanking God for something so damn small. Why’d you even thank God if by your logic he’s the one who put you here?”

Sasuke was quiet for a long moment, simply staring at his food. But he wasn’t quiet because he was trying to be discreet and not let the adults notice that they were talking, he was quiet because he truly didn’t know what to say. What the white-haired boy was saying was true. He was taught that God has a plan for all of his children and that everything happens only because God allows it to but the thought of blaming God for this hadn’t even crossed his mind. The idea seemed so unreal that he couldn’t even imagine it. God wouldn’t do this to hurt him. God exists and takes care of all of his children, he makes sure that nothing bad happens to them.

“I don’t know yet.” He whispered. “Maybe God wanted me to learn something here, do something or… meet someone.” Sasuke looked up to meet violet eyes. “I haven’t figured it out yet.” He heard Suigetsu sigh as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing and the boy looked back at his food. He had understood that Suigetsu wasn’t religious farely quickly and he was happy to answer questions but it was strange to him, he had been raised in a very religious household and neighborhood and seeing Suigetsu be so sceptical was strange. Though he reminded himself that it must be equelly strange for Suigetsu to see him prey before every meal.

“What about you? Are you religious?” He heard Suigetsu let out a breath that sounded like a snort.

“Realigious? Nah.” He shook his head as he picked up his granola bar. “It’s stupid to believe in something… other. Something thats ‘sposed to be kind and good and take care of you when sometimes people who’re ‘sposed to do that don’t do it.” Sasuke frowned and looked down at his plate.

“Are you talking about your parents?” Suigetsu hummed and answered when he stopped chewing.

“Not jus’ mine.” Sasuke’s frown deepend.

“Do you- Do you not think think that your parents care for you?” This time Suigetsu sighed.

“Look around, Sas.” He ignored the warm, strange feeling at hearing the nickname. “Do you really think any of us ‘d be here if our parents actually cared?” Sasuke couldn’t understand. They must care. Parents are supposed to love, accept and care for you unconditionally and if they put you here that means that they cared enough to do something to try and help you. But no matter how much he wanted to say that, he kept his mouth shut this time. It was clear both he and Suigetsu had very different opinions and trying to explain his own could leave them in an unnecessary argument.

The rest of the day went by relatively calm and without any incidents, that would leave him in pain afterwards. The air was becoming more and more chilly with every passing day and spending the whole day outside had left his hand cold and stiff. Even though there was no heating in the building, he was still happy to go to the canteen during lunch as it meant he didn’t have to be in the wind. They were served the same exact soup as yesterday and Sasuke sat down next to Suigetsu. And even though he had told himself to drop that topic, his curiosity simply wouldn’t leave him alone and as Saske had always been a curious child he felt the need to ask for Suigetsu’s opinion again.

“Maybe God put us here to make us stronger.” Suigetsu was quiet for a moment. He didn’t sigh and Sasuke didn’t know how to take it until he turned to look at the boy and saw that he was thinking.

“Are you going to say that God made the staff evil for that purpous too?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call them exactly evil… Yes they’re strict but that’s only for our own betterment-”

“Sasuke.” Suigetsu cut him off. “You’re so naive, I’d call it adorable if it weren’t so damn annoying.” Sasuke shut his mouth. He didn’t know what to answer, both the compliment and insult mixed his feelings. “Remember this for the rest of your life. There ‘re two types of people in the world. Those who will beat and kill you if it’ll mean that they get what they want and those who’ll never leave a friend in trouble, those who stand for justice. You should learn to know the difference and choose with who you want to hang out with and which one you want to be. Christ, by your age I already knew all of that.” Sasuke lowered his eyes.

“That’s a very narrow view on life.”

“Well it’s true. Whether you like it or not that’s jus’ how this world works.” Sasuke furrowed his brows together and looked at his cooling soup.

“Why would anybody want to hurt us?”

“Because most people are animals with sadistic desires and a huge fucking ego. Most will leave you in trouble or put you under the bus if it means that they get off dry and clean.” Suigetsu sighed, his eyes distant and dark as if he were remembering something unpleasant but then he chuckled. “You really are like a sweet and innocent child.” Sasuke felt his cheeks heat and he looked down at his bowl. “Just… learn how to tell the difference between people before it’s too late ‘cause there ‘re a lot more people who only care ‘bout themselves. It’s hard to find someone who’s loyal and good. Someone who won’t betray you, ‘ll cover for you… and love you for you. So if you find ‘em you better hang on tight and not let go.” Suigetsu smiled at him and Sasuke found his own expression relaxing at Suigetsu’s gentle whisper.

Then Sasuke heard the chair in front of them be pulled away from the table and both of the boys turned to see Karin with a bowl of soup in one hand and pulling the chair with the other. She was looking at Sasuke, as if wordlessly asking for his permission to sit and when Sasuke didn’t react in a negative way she let a small smile grace her lips and she sat down in front of them. Sasuke didn’t mind at all, if anything he was just a bit surprised at seeing her but Suigetsu didn’t seem as neutral to this.

“The hell ‘re you doing?” He asked, his quiet voice no longer holding any of the gentelness that it had when he was speaking to Sasuke.

“Eating.” Karin answered in a similarly mean tone with a glare aimed at Suigetsu and the boy’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“There are tables empty everywhere. Why ‘d you gotta sit here?”

“I can sit wherever I want.” She answered back and then looked at Sasuke with a much gentler look on her face. “Hey, how old are you?” Suigetsu scoffed and put a spoonful of soup into his mouth while Sasuke found her change in tone and attitude amusing. The difference with how she spoke to Suigetsu and Sasuke was like night and day.

“Twelve.”

“Oh, me too. What a coincidence.” Karin smiled at him and happily looked down at her food while Sasuke could hear Suigetsu scoff at her actions.

The rest of the day passed the same as yesterday. Sasuke spent the whole day outside, sweeping the porch and steps on the outside of the buildings and raking what was left of the leaves on the ground. He could feel that winter would come soon and that meant that it would not only be colder but wetter too and the muddy ground outside will soon turn cold and hard, which Sasuke hoped meant that the annoying puddles would disappear. Though he wished that he would be out of this camp before the weather got that cold. It was his second day, which meant only 8 more days to go. Only 7 more nights and he will be free. When he thought about it, that’s not much at all. 2 days already passed, he can handle a few more. He already began understanding and remembering the rules, this should be easy.

But what he wasn’t waiting for was therapy hour. Yesterday’s experiences were enough to paint that part of the day in a bad ligh and Sasuke didn’t want to have a repeat of it, though he understood that he didn’t have a choice in attending. Orochimaru had made it clear that therapy was a non negotiable part of their daily routine and no matter how much Sasuke didn’t want to, he knew that it was coming. Sasuke was finishing raking the leaves and all that was left was to put them all in a trash bag and carry it to the dumpster. He was done with his chores for the day and he knew that now he would only have to wait for a staff member to come get him for school.

Sasuke tied the black trash bag and picked it up. He started walking towards the dumpsters, at the very edge of the camp, when his eyes caught what looked like a shed. He had seen it a few times while passing by and his curiosity was starting to grow. It looked like any other shed and he expected shovels, rakes, and other needed items to be kept there but he remembered that he got the rake from inside the building where their school and therapy were held.

He wouldn’t ask any adults about it and Sasuke mentally reminded himself to ask Suigetsu. If anyone would know it would be the white-haired boy and he wouldn’t mind sharing with Sasuke. It didn’t feel like a lot of time passed as Sasuke sat waiting until a staff member came to get him and classes went by just as quickly. The kids were just as quiet as yesterday and Orochimaru was acting just like before. The man was going around making sure that everyone was doing their work and he praised Sasuke for the boy’s math skills. It was strange and Sasuke didn’t know if he should feel good about it. Just yesterday the man ordered his staff to beat him and now he was acting as if nothing happened.

The man’s indifferent behavior was still on Sasuke’s mind as they made their way to the canteen and the boy wondered how Orochimaru would act during therapy. As he walked, it had become almost natural to fall in step with Suigetsu. The white-haired boy was silent as Sasuke came to walk next to him and only spared a glance when Karin hurried to tag along with them. For dinner, they were served what looked like cooked ground beef. The portions were small but that was the first piece of meat they had gotten in two days and even though it wasn’t much, no one seemed to mind. Everyone was hungry as the soup hadn’t done much to fill them up and after a full day of moving and cleaning the effects of hunger were strong. Sasuke sat down at the table that had become their usual spot and Karin and Suigetsu followed close behind.

Karin sat down in front of them and while looking down at her plate she opened her mouth to speak but Suigetsu quickly shushed her. They both looked at the white-haired boy who was chewing on the meat and looking down at his plate. He looked completely unbothered and oblivious to their stares as if he hadn’t just quieted Karin. The girl frowned at him but then as if understanding something she looked to the left. Sasuke followed her gaze and was surprised to see that Orochimaru was looking at their table. He was surrounded by Kabuto and two other staff members, who were talking. Sasuke could see that Karin lowered her head to look at her plate but the boy didn’t lower his gaze. He kept up his stare until he saw Orochimaru turn around to leave and the little group of adults followed after him. Only when the adults left Sasuke looked down, his brows furrowed as he couldn’t get Orochimaru’s face out of his mind.

The man’s expression didn’t look angry or negative but a feeling deep in Sasuke’s gut made him feel uneasy. It reminded him of the same expression the man had yesterday during therapy. Sasuke swallowed and let out a breath. It was strange to feel so uncomfortable by the man who seemed to be the only kind adult here but after his punishment Sasuke was no longer sure if there were any kind adults here. He could hear Karin start to speak and he raised his eyes at the girl.

“Christ,” She muttered while shuffling the meat around her plate. “That was close, I didn’t even see him.” This time the girl spoke in her normal tone of voice without trying to stay quiet and Suigetsu hummed, not offering any verbal answer. Sasuke heard the canteen grow into a louder commotion that reminded him of the canteen in his school and the boy realized that all of the adults left and no one was trying to stay quiet.

“Eat your food.” Sasuke heard Suigetsu say beside him and the raven-haired boy finally looked over at his friend and realized that while Suigetsu and Karin were nearly finished, his dinner hadn’t been touched yet.

“Oh,” He let out a little noise and ignoring his body’s wishes, put his hands together in front of him. Once again he heard Suigetsu sigh.

“Stop doing that and just eat.” He heard Suigetsu say but Sasuke ignored the boy. “Or at least watch your food. Now that the staff’s gone no one’s here to watch us.” Sasuke opened his eyes and took the fork in hand. Suigetsu’s words were strange and his hunger was gnawing at his stomach. He had said a quick thanks in his head, which half of he didn’t even pay attention to as he had been listening to Suigetsu, and Sasuke finally took a bite of the food, no longer being able to wait.

It wasn’t anything delicious or overly tasty but Sasuke wasn’t going to complain, especially when his stomach had been cramping dangerously right before dinner. The food might not have been very good and the portions might of been small but that was all that they were given and Sasuke was going to be grateful. He was about to take his next bite when a boy walked over to their table. Sasuke raised his eyes just as the boy leaned on the table with one hand and looked Sasuke up and down.

“You’re the newbie, right?” Sasuke was taken aback. This was the first time any other kid apart from Suigetsu spoke to him but before he could open his mouth in answer the white-haired boy beat him to it.

“What do you want, Zaku?” Sasuke glanced at him but Suigetsu’s violet eyes were staring straight at Zaku.

“Nothing.” The black-haired boy shrugged and looked away from Suigetsu as if he had no interest in this whole ordeal. “Just came to meet the new guy. Gotta be friendly here, right?” He looked back at Suigetsu and grinned which the white-haired boy answered the same way and leaned back in his chair.

“Sure, and not only here. But you saw the newbie already.” Zaku hummed while Suigetsu glanced behind the standing boy before looking back up at him. “Think your friends ‘re waiting for you.” Zaku looked back at the table further from them at another boy and girl sitting there, looking at their little group.

“They can wait a bit longer.” Zaku shrugged and looked back at Suigetsu. Sasuke was beginning to feel annoyance simmer inside of him. Not only did this strange boy come and bothered them during dinner, apparently to meet him, but now he was talking with Suigetsu, completely ignoring the two other kids at the table. Sasuke could see that Karin was getting uncomfortable and he was becoming annoyed. “Just want to make sure that the new guy knows the rules here.” Zaku finally turned his eyes toward Sasuke and for the first time since getting here, Sasuke felt threatened by another kid. He didn’t seem to be doing anything yet but Sasuke didn’t like the way the boy was looking at him.

“Oh, he knows the rules.” Suigetsu answered a beat later, not even letting Sasuke get a moment to say something for himself.

“Really?”

“Really.” Both Karin and Suigetsu looked defensive and as another moment passed with Zaku staring at Suigetsu as if challenging him, the black-haired boy finally backed off and pushed himself off their table.

“Alright then.” He glanced at Sasuke one last time and turned around to go back to his table. While Karin followed Zaku’s steps with a glare, Sasuke turned his frown to Suigetsu.

“What was that all about?” He asked the white-haired boy while Suigetsu only sighed as he looked back at Sasuke.

“Just eat your food.”

“No.” Suigetsu frowned at the answer and Sasuke didn’t let up on his frown either. “Seriously, What did he want?” Karin glanced between them, keeping her gaze longer on Suigetsu, waiting to see what he was going to answer and the boy leaned back in his chair as he didn’t take his gaze off Sasuke.

“Remember I said there ‘re two types of people in the world?” Sasuke hummed in answer. “He’s the type who walks over people's heads without a care on how it’ll affect ‘em.” Sasuke frowned, not understanding but he didn’t get the chance to even open his mouth and ask as Suigetsu was talking again. “It’s almost funny how clear it is that you haven’t tasted the real world yet. You shouldn’t be so naive and trusting of people. He didn’t come here to be nice or to get to know you. He came here to see if you’d be easy prey. If it’d be easy to take things from you. Just ‘cause they say they’re nice it don’t mean it’s true. Don’t trust just anyone, trust needs to be earned.” Sasuke looked down at his almost empty plate.

“But he didn’t do anything. He backed off, didn’t he?”

“That’s ‘cause Suigetsu was here.” Karin answered and the two boys looked at the girl.

“Singing my praise already?” The white-haired boy smirked.

“Shut up. He only backed off because you’re older.” Sasuke looked back at Suigetsu while the girl glared at the other boy.

“But you have been awfully kind to me.” This time Suigetsu looked at him as if he hadn’t been expecting Sasuke to say that and the white-haired boy sat up straighter in his chair.

“I helped you ‘cause I didn’t want to starve that time and from then on you followed me around like a lost puppy. So what if I couldn’t bring myself to kick you to the curb? It’s not like you were a threat or bothering me.” Sasuke felt his cheeks heat up from Suigetsu’s comment.

“Maybe you’re just the second type of person. Maybe you’re good.” Suigetsu smirked.

“I know I’m the second type but I’m not a good person.”

“You’re good to me.”

“I feel like I’m gonna be sick.” Karin spoke up and the two boys finally looked at the only girl in their group. Sasuke felt a small smile trying to appear on his face but he ignored it and relaxed his expression.

“No one asked a whore’s opinion.” Suigetsu answered and before either of them could react to him calling Karin that, he continued to talk. “Just don’t be a pushover. Watch your stuff, watch your food, and don’t let ‘em do whatever they want.” Karin stared at him for a few long seconds, looking like she wanted to say something but Sasuke beat her to it.

“Did that happen to you when you came here?” That seemed like the only explanation Sasuke could’ve thought of why Suigetsu was teaching him this.

“Me?” The boy looked surprised that Sasuke could’ve even thought of that. “Nah, jus’ saw it happen to a bunch of other kids.” Sasuke looked down back at his plate and finished the last bites of food that he had left before turning to Suigetsu again.

“You’re older?” He glanced at Suigetsu and the boy hummed. “How old are you?” Suigetsu looked up at the ceiling as if trying to remember.

“Came here when I was 13.”

“And when did you come here?” Suigetsu hummed, still staring above them.

“Last summer.” Sasuke looked at the table.

“So you’re 14?” Suigetsu shrugged.

“Guess so.” Sasuke frowned and suppressed a sigh. The white-haired boy’s short answers were becoming annoying.

“When’s your birthday?”

“February 14th. Say, what date were you taken here?” The raven-haired boy raised his eyes and got quiet for a second as he tried to remember.

“November 22nd… 2020.” Sasuke felt the need to add the year and he heard Suigetsu hum.

“Guess I really am 14.” Suigetsu sounded like he couldn’t believe it and Sasuke, in a similar manner, couldn’t imagine that this boy spent more than a year in this camp and he wasn’t even talking about trying to get out.

“My birthday’s on June 20th.” Karin added when a moment of silence settled between the boys.

“No one asked.”

“That’s nice, Karin.” Sasuke said, hoping that the girl would ignore Suigetsu's comment but she didn’t seem to mind it, as if she were used to his words, or such behaviour toward her in general.

“Sasuke’s interested.” She shot back at Suigetsu with a glare. “When’s yours?”

“July 23rd.” Sasuke answered softly and suddenly remembered the question that had been on his mind since morning. “Suigetsu,” He looked up at the older boy and violet eyes glanced at him. “Why aren’t the shovels and rakes in the shed?” The staff member had told him to bring the rake back into the building, which might not be a big deal but, for Sasuke it seemed like a very strange place to hold gardening tools.

“The shed?” The white-haired boy furrowed his eyebrows as he turned to face Sasuke more and the younger boy nodded.

“By the fence.”

“You mean the isolator?” Karin realized what he was talking about but her question made Sasuke furrow his brows in confusion while Suigetsu seemed to finally understand.

“Oh, the hole. The tools ain’t kept there, it’s for violent kids.”

“What?” Sasuke couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He simply couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that there was essentially what was a confinement cell in this camp.

“Yeah,” Suigetsu hummed, as if it were that easy to understand and accept as normal. “When there are especially aggressive kids here and the adults can’t control ‘em the kids get thrown in the hole.” Sasuke couldn’t believe that there could be someone who even the staff members wouldn’t be able to control, the mere memorie of the large man and the beating made it even harder to believe.

“Is there anyone in there now?”

“Oh, yeah. Jugo, I think is his name.”

“Jugo, right.” Karin added when she heard Suigetsu’s answer. “I haven’t seen him in so long. So he’s still in the isolator?” Suigetsu hummed. “Wow... I’m pretty sure he was sent there when it was still warm, so if it’s november right now, that means he’s been in there for a few months now.” Sasuke stared in shock at the two kids talking about Jugo and the isolator as if it were normal.

“Pretty long,” Suigetsu commented. “But I did overhear Jurobu telling another staff member that his jaw hurt for a full week after Jugo punched him. Guess they don’t want to let him out early and get hurt again.”

“And Orochimaru allows that?” He had been hurt not only physically but emotionally too, when the man ordered him to get beaten but a part of Sasuke still had hope that Orochimaru was doing this out of a good heart, because a small part of him desperately wanted to believe that this place could truly help someone but Suigetsu snorted at his question and Sasuke’s hope started to melt like snow in spring.

“‘Course. He doesn’t give a shit about any of us. All that snake cares about is how to keep us here longer so that he could have some playthings and make money out of our parents. If anyone misbehaves or causes trouble they get beat or thrown in the hole. He’ll use any punishment to make us obedient and not difficult not only for himself but for our parents. Why else would we be sent here.”

“He only cares about his favorites, that’s why they have more privileges.” Karin added quietly and Sasuke heard Suigetsu scoff.

“Being his pet ain’t nothing good either.” His voice had become harsher and Sasuke wasn’t sure if it was because of what Karin said or because of this whole conversation. “You have to spread your legs for him at night and you still have to do your fucking chores during the day. And it ain’t like those privileges give you anything good either. A hot shower and a smaller beating just to feel pain for the whole night and then some? That’s jus’ stupid.” Sigetsu shook his head as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

 

The three of them got silent. Normally such crude words would’ve made Sasuke blush but the intensity of the situation made it all seem scary and not embarrassing. And at that moment, as if being summoned by name, the canteen door opened and the whole room got quiet in a matter of seconds. Orochimaru came to a stop near Sasuke’s table and neither Suigetsu nor Karin looked up at the man.

“Everyone may go to therapy now,” Sasukle heard the underlying order in what first sounded like a suggestion. “But you, my dear,” Their eyes met when Orochimaru looked down at Sasuke. “Come with me.” Sasuke frowned and didn’t move from his seat. But when the other kids didn’t wait any second longer and started to leave Sasuke glanced at Suigetsu. The white-haired boy was looking at him with an expression that Sasuke couldn’t read and hesitantly Sasuke stood up.

Karin followed after him and got up. She spared him a glance and quickly walked past Orochimaru, keeping her head hanging low. Suigetsu was the last to get up and he didn’t seem to rush as he walked right next to Sasuke. Orochimaru was right behind them but didn’t say a word as Suigetsu looked back at them in a strange glance and then followed the rest of the kids. Sasuke was quiet while he watched Suigetsu get further away and his whole body tensed when he felt Orochimaru’s hand rest on his shoulder. Sasuke wasn’t sure if it was because of Suigetsu’s words but he no longer felt as calm as he did before when he was near the man.

“Let’s go, dear.” Sasuke felt the hand move to in between his shoulder blades and he was guided to follow the man to the building where he had met Orochimaru for the very first time.

Chapter 6

Summary:

Hell on earth

Naruto stood beside the lockers, his hands fumbling with one another. He kep telling himself that there was absolutely no reason for him to be feeling so nervous but he couldn’t seem to get his palms to stop sweating and his gaze from darting from one student to another. Then, down the corridor he saw who he was waiting for.

Sakura was walking next to Hinata, telling the dark-haired girl something but from this distance Naruto couldn’t make out what it was. As the girls got closer Hinata was the first to notice him and her face heated, a blush making it seem practically red. Sakura noticed that Hinata was no longer listening to her and furrowing her brows she turned to see what the girl was looking at. When their eyes met Sakura’s frown deepened while Naruto smiled and pushed himself off the locker to stand.

“Hey, Sakura, Hinata,” He greeted both of the girls but his gaze stayed only on Sakura. Naruto got a quiet ‘hi’ back from Hinata while Sakura huffed and pushed him away from the lockers so that she could get closer to hers.

“What do you want?”

“Oh- well,” He scratched the back of his head while he watched Sakura take out her biology coursebook out of her locker. “Well, I got two tickets to the movies from my granny and I was wondering if you would like to come with me?” He asked with a sheepish smile on his face and waited for her answer.

“No, thanks.”

“What? Why?” Naruto frowned as he stared at the girl. He couldn't believe that it was his first time asking someone out on a date and his first rejection too.

“First of all, I have a lot of homework.” She said as she closed her locker but before Naruto could say that they could go during the weekend, she continued talking. “And secondly but most importantly, I don’t want to. Maybe if Sasuke were going I’d think about it but he’s not here and I won’t go. Let’s go, Hinata.” She called for the quiet girl and the two of them walked off, leaving Naruto alone in the hallway.

Sasuke sat on a chair in front of a desk an waited while Orochimaru dialed a number and let the ringing fill the room. When Orochimaru told him that his parents had asked for a phone call to be arranged he felt as if he couldn’t sit still as excitement overtook him. He tried not to let it show while they walked but Sasuke was sure that Orochimaru noticed the smile on his face and now as he sat waiting, he couldn’t help himself as he leaned closer to the table, where the phone was put.

While they walked to the building Orochimaru had warned him not to say anything that he might regret later and warned him not to tell his parents about what he was experiencing here. Sasuke had agreed, obediently nodding his head but when he heard the ringing stop and his mother’s voice echo from the other side his eyes filled with tears and he no longer cared that Orochimaru was right in front of him, watching him, listening to their conversation. His longing for his mother came harder than he expected and all that he wanted to do was to hug her, feel her gentle touch and smell her familiar, sweet perfume but he could only try to control his tears and make his voice stop shaking as he told her how much he missed her. These few days felt like an eternity of being away from his family and he couldn’t wait to go back home.

When he heard their voices the need to behave overwhelmed him and he remembered Orochimaru’s words that if he was good he’d be let out after 10 days but that meant he would have to live like this for a whole week more and he didn’t want that. He wanted to go home as soon as possible and he hoped that if his parents heard how awfully he was treated here, they would come and get him. He didn’t care about what punishment he might receive after this, the idea that his parents would take him home overpowered his fear of being beaten again and he told his parents everything. From the horrible living conditions that they were in, how cold it was, how they weren’t allowed to shower, what small food portions they were given and that the staff would beat them if they didn’t do as they were told. He had so much to say that he didn’t even know what to say next but then he realized that his parents had been awfully quiet and he swallowed, forcing himself to calm down and to get his heart from racing but his body didn’t seem to listen to him.

“Mother?” He asked hesitantly after another moment went by in silence. Then Sasuke heard his father clear his throat before speaking.

“Sasuke,” he said and the boy didn’t like the way his father’s voice sounded. “This isn’t a summer camp after all. It’s specifically designed to teach you to appreciate all that I and your mother have given you. And such excuses will not persuade us. This is your punishment and you must take it with a stiff lip.” Sasuke sat silently, staring at the phone. All of his hopes of going home early were shattered in a matter of seconds and the realization that his parents weren’t even considering his words on the horrible treatment that he was facing here was heartbreaking. His parents, the people who he loved and trusted unconditionally and who were supposed to feel the same with him, were blatantly ignoring his begging to go home.

“Sasuke,” He heard his mother’s soft voice this time. “Once Orochimaru sees that your behavior has changed for the better, then you will be allowed to come back. So please be good, obey the rules and listen. We miss you so much. Itachi and your friends have come to ask about you. Everyone misses you and we can’t wait until you come back but you must remember the reason why you came here. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, mother.” He didn’t feel like he could say anything else. He felt betrayed hearing his parents say that he wasn’t welcome back until he fixed his behavior.

When he didn’t say anything more and silence filled the room Orochimaru took it upon himself to end the phone call. He saw the man take the phone but he wasn’t listening to what was being said. Betrayal, longing, sadness all mixed inside of his head. His brother and friends had asked about him and that made him feel warm and remembered. They hadn’t forgotten about him, they cared but his parents didn’t. They heard him, they listened to him beg and they weren’t doing anything about it. And in the end anger overtook the rest of the emotions as he looked up, willing himself to stop tearing up.

“It was just as I warned,” He heard Orochimaru say. The speaker had been turned off and they were talking quietly. He couldn’t hear what his parents were saying but he didn’t care. The negative emotions made him want to end this as soon as possible and run out of this room. “Yes, well that is simply how adolescents act. Don’t be too disappointed it was just as we expected.” Sasuke lowered his gaze and waited until Orochimaru would finish talking. All that he wanted to do was run away from this conversation and he looked up blankly when the phone was extended toward him. “Say goodbye to your parents, dear.” Orochimaru’s voice was gentle, just like the first time he saw the man and it made Sasuke’s skin go down in goosebumps.

“Goodbye.” He said, no longer wanting to speak with his parent but when they answered back and the phone call ended guilt started to eat at him in a matter of seconds when he realized that this was the last thing he heard his parents say and he didn’t know when he would get the chance to speak to them again. And while he was internally drowning in guilt for not using the chance to have a good conversation with his parents Orochimaru stood up and urged him to follow the man out of the building.

While they walked outside the realization of what he had done overtook him. Orochimaru had warned him no to say any of those things and while he was talking wih his parents the man hadn’t made a move to stop him which made Sasuke forget about keeping himself save. While he was blurting out all of those words Orochimaru’s calm demeniour had made him feel a fake sense of security but now, while they walked, the threat of a punishment reappeared in Sasuke’s mind, and the boy realized just in how much trouble he was in. It reminded him of all those times he had gone back home with his parents, his whole family quiet and seemingly calm, while Sasuke would be shaking, thinking about how he was going to get hit. This moment was no different, only right now he was not with his family but with someone who essentially a strange man.

Sasuke was quiet when they walked over to the building where therapy was taking place. He didn’t even raise his gaze from the ground when Orochimaru opened the door and called Kabuto over, nor did he react when the two adults spoke about something brefly and then Orochimaru walked into the building, while Sasuke was left standing in the cold with Kabuto in front of him. Sasuke heard the man walk down the wooden porch steps and only when he stood in front of the boy did Sasuke raise his eyes. The grin on the man’s face was full of malice and he did not like the way Kabuto was smiling at him.

Sasuke wasn’t sure for how long he had been sitting on those steps, staring at nothing but at some point he heard the steps creek and someone sat down beside him. He turned his head and saw Karin sitting beside him while Suigetsu stood right behind her, both of the kids were looking at him. Karin’s face was filled with worry while Suigetsu’s expression was unreadable as always. Even though it was clear that Karin wanted to say something, she kept quiet, patiently waiting until the staff member smoking outside would get further away or finish and go back into the building. She was being extra careful after today, when they were almost caught by Orochimaru, as none of the kids wanted to experience what Sasuke just did.

“You look like shit.” Both of the sitting kids looked up when Suigetsu spoke, Karin aimed a scared glare at him and they realized that the staff member had left and they were alone outside. Letting her muscles relax a bit, Karin lowered her gaze and turned to face Sasuke, pity evident on her face.

“Yeah,” She agreed with the older boy’s words.

“Thanks.” Sasuke muttered bitterly and didn’t take his gaze away from the ground.

“What’s got you so quiet?” The wooden railing creaked as Suigetsu leaned on it and Sasuke sighed, stretching his legs in front of him.

“You’re going to call it stupid.” Though he wasn’t sure how Karin would react to it, as they hadn’t talked about this yet, but he already knew what Suigetsu’s reaction would be.

“If it’s stupid ‘course I’m gonna do it.” Sasuke was quiet for a moment, trying to form his thoughts into words and then he spoke, still keeping his eyes on the ground.

“In the bible… it’s been mentioned many times that God is good but he’s strict. He’s kind and helps those in need but he punishes those who sin.” Sasuke raised his eyes but he didn’t dare to look Suigetsu in the eyes so the boy kept his gaze on the fence in distance. “And I’ve been thinking, about why I’m here, why my parents sent me here and stuff and Orochimaru is a lot like that, you know? He seems kind, or at least he did, and he punishes us nly if we misbehave so maybe this is a lesson for me to learn that-”

“Sasuke.” He was cut off by Suietsu before he could even finish his sentence. “If you want to call Orochimaru something from the bible, it would be a better idea to call him satan.” Suigetsu huffed and lowered his head. “I get that you’re here only for a few days but Christ, even you should’ve realized that this place is literal hell on earth. We weren’t sent here to learn something, we were sent here because our parents are pieces of shit who don’t fucking care about us. And they couldn’t be bothered to deal with us once we became difficult.” Suigetsu finished talking and the three of them fell into silence, the boy’s words engraving themselves in Sasuke’s mind.

“You’re christian?” Karin asked hesitantly, trying to start a conversation again and Suigetu snorted.

“No, he was taking a nap for a couple seconds before eating all the time. ‘Course he’s fucking religious, you seriously have dicks for brains if you didn’t notice.” Sasuke looked up just in time to see the girl glaring at the older boy.

“Oh look who’s talking, the guy who was sent here because he was frying his brain with drugs. As if you’re so smart.” The girl rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest defensively.

“I might not be smart but I’m smarter than you.”

“Yeah right.” The constant bickering between the two got Sasuke's attention and once again, the faintest hint of a smile appeared on his face, as the interaction took his mind away from the pain. Then he heard the wooden boards creak and the two kids in front of him got quiet in a second. Sasuke looked back and saw Kabuto, carrying a large bag of rice. The man stopped for a moment and looked at the three of them, his gaze serious as he stared at Sasuke for a longer moment.

“Lord Orochimaru wants to see you. He’s waiting in his room.” The young man took a step in the direction he was originally going but stopped and looked at Sasuke again, his expression not concealing how upset he was. “Do you know where it is or do you need me to lead you there?”

“I know where it is.” Sasuke could remember Suigetsu telling him where everything was located and Kabuto looked at him for a second longer, then got a more comfortable hold on the bag and left. The three of them were quiet until they were sure that no one was around to hear them and then Suigetsu spoke.

“You should watch out.” Sasuke looked up at the older boy with a questioning look on his face which Suigetsu noticed immediately. “Kabuto used to be the favorite, he might get jealous and he’s very vengeful.“ Sasuke couldn’t hold back the scoff that escaped him.

”What could he be jealous of?” Sasuke had a vague idea of what Suigetsu meant as he remembered the conversation they had earlier today but it felt as if his mind was blocking the information out, not wanting to believe it. Suigetsu shrugged.

“You know what I mean. Kabuto might be a pain in the ass but these past few beatings ‘ll look like child’s play if he’ll decide to actually hurt you and not jus’ have fun with you.” Sasuke sighed and stood up, sticking his hands into his pockets.

“Do you want us to lead you?” Karin asked before he could even take a step and Sasuke glanced at her, taking her offer into consideration.

“No, I’ll be fine.”

He walked towards the building closest to the entry to the camp. The memories of the day he was brought here, the shower and humiliation that he was forced to endure and the disappointing phone call that he experienced earlier today all mixed in his mind as he came closer. Sasuke opened the door and stepped in. From what he knew, this place was used mainly only by Orochimaru. The man lived here, took care of all of the documentation, financial issues and welcomed new kids herel. And this building was the warmest, so far it seemed like the only one with heating. The building seemed vacant, Kabuto was telling the truth, Orochimaru was waiting in hs room for Sasuke. The boy knocked and waited until he heard a verbal answer, allowing him to enter.

Orochimaru was standing near an open wardrobe and as Sasuke stepped into the room he noticed the man put a small box inside before closing the door. Orochimaru smiled at him but Sasuke no longer felt the comfort that the smile used to give him before. His body ached from the punishment he experienced barely half an hour ago and he couldn’t relax as Suigetsu’s words and all of Orochimaru’s actions leading up to this point kept him on edge.

“Come closer, my dear. There is no need to look so scared.” Orochimaru sat down on his bed and motioned for the boy to follow his lead. Though hesitant, with all of his survival instinct screaming at him to stop and get away, Sasuke walked closer and sat down. He tried to keep as much distance, between him and the man, as possible but even that didn’t give him much space. Orochimaru reached out and he didn’t even have to extend his arm much to stroke Sasuke’s cheek with the back of his hand. “Such a lovely face ruined by a frown. Don’t do that, take care of your beauty, it’s a useful thing to have.” Sasuke kept his eyes on the ground, listening to the man’s words carefully until the hand moved from his cheek to his chin and Sasuke was forced to look up.

The man stroked Sasuke’s cheek with his thumb, his gaze locked on the boy’s face. It looked as if Orochimaru was taking his time appreciating the view in front of him, trying to remember every little detail and etch it into his memory. Then he leaned closer and Sasuke felt as if time stopped, as if everything in the world stopped moving, including him, and he couldn’t force himself to do anything other than widen his eyes in fear and grip the sheet underneath him. The man’s lips were strange against his own and his tongue felt slimy, almost like a slug. He still had Sasuke’s chin in his hand but his hold wasn’t stern or forceful. Sasuke could’ve pulled away, he could’ve pushed, kicked or punched but he didn’t even try to do any of those things as he felt paralyzed in confusion and fear and Sasuke hated himself for that. He hated how he felt his palms grow wet with sweat and his breathing became shallow but he felt like a deer caught in headlights as he only squeezed the sheet. Then he felt Orochimaru’s hand move to his ribs and push him down to the middle of the bed. That got Sasuke out of the trance like state that he was in and he gasped, quickly bringing his clenched hands to Orochimaru’s chest and tried to push the man or at least to get him off Sasuke.

“Stop,” He couldn’t even recognise his voice with how it shook, how weak it sounded. “Please don’t!” He couldn’t seem to be able to formulate full sentences and beg for the man to let him go as his mind couldn’t think clearly from the shock and fear. He resorted to saying the only things that were at the front his mind and the only ones that he managed force out. But Orochimaru didn’t listen nor did he look affected by Sasuke’s struggling and skillfully caught both of Sasuke’s wrists in his hand and held the boys arms over his head, ceasing Sasuke’s pitiful resisting at the same time. “It hurts, please!”

Sasuke felt the tears that had been building up in his eyes finally fall and the tears felt hot against his cheeks. Then he gasped, no longer feeling like he could breathe when he felt Orochimaru pull down his pants exposing him. Sasuke closed his eyes, feeling more tears fall as he gasped, his body involuntarily letting out a pitiful whine, while he tried to get some air into his lungs but the pain made made it difficult. Sasuke squeezed the sheets that he managed to get a hold of and whispered the only words that were on his mind.

“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name,” He could hear Orochimaru grunt above him but he forced himself not to listen as he focused on his shaky whispers. “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done… on earth, as it is in heaven…” Sasuke swallowed, no longer able to control his breathing or sobs and then silence surrounded him.

Sasuke woke up when he felt his air cut off and he coughed. He opened his eyes realizing that his head was dunked under water. Sasuke gasped and spit, coughing as he tried to get the water out of his nose. He grabbed a hold of whatever was closest and he felt cold metal underneath his touch, then his head was dunked underwater again. He was pulled back up by his hair and then Sasuke felt a hand on his face, wiping down the water drops while someone talked.

“Just like that, breathe. Come on.” Sasuke blinked his eyes open, the water drops ran down past his eyelashes and burned his eyes but he didn’t care as he focused on the silhouette in front of him. After blinking a bit more his vision cleared and he saw Kabuto kneeling in front of him, or rather, behind the metal tub that Sasuke was in.

He was completely naked and shivering as the water felt freezing but his mind still felt hazy and he couldn’t form a single thought. He felt himself sink lower into the water but Kabuto pulled him up by his hair, the stinging pain in his scalp making him open his eyes again and frown.

“There.” Kabuto muttered and stared at him for a long second, frowning at the boy. “You awake?” Sasuke didn’t answer but he didn’t sink again and held himself up. Kabuto stared at him for a second longer, then stood up. He grabbed a towel that had been on the ground and threw it towards Sasuke’s face, which he didn’t manage to catch very gracefully. “Dry yourself and get out of here. You missed dinner so don’t even try to go to the canteen.” Kabuto turned around with those words and left, leaving Sasuke alone in the same shower room he was brought to on his first night here.

He waited for a few seconds but no one showed up and the water was beginning to make his skin tingle from the cold and he stood up. Sasuke held himself up by the corners of the tub as his lower back and everything below, hurt. He frowned and glared at the floor as he got out of the tub with grate difficulty, every little movement making hot pain blossom in between his legs. Sasuke followed Kabuto’s order as he didn’t want to stay wet and cold for any longer but when he got to his bottom he hesitate. He looked at in between his thighs and could see that the water there was darker, staining his pale skin with what was no doubt blood. He clenched his jaw and swallowed, focing himself to bare through the pain, dry himself down and get dressed. When he left the building it was already dark out.

The wind was stinging his skin with how cold it was but he didn’t want to go to his bedroom. There was no one outside and Sasuke sat down on the top steps of the porch, frowning at the pain. With grate difficulty he managed to find a comfortable position to sit in and he stayed there, quietly staring into the distance. At some point he heard the door open and quiet steps on the porch but he didn’t raise his eyes to look up at who it was. He only tensed when he felt hands on him but Sasuke quickly realised that it was Karin. The girl sat down beside him and locked her arms around his shoulders, trapping him in a hug. Everything was painful but he didn’t push her away, in stead he buried his nose into the crook of her neck and accepted the comfort, he so desperately needed. He felt his eyes and throat sting but he swallowed, forcing himself not to cry.

“It hurts.” It was the only thing that he could think of whispering and Karin tightened her hold on him.

“I know.” She whispered back. And Sasuke heard the boards creak when Suigetsu leaned agaisnt the railing.

They had to go to bed soon after that and Sasuke laid on his back, staring at the ceiling, already aware that he wasn’t going to get a good night of rest. The door opened and closed every fifteen minutes, indicating him just how much time passed while everyone slept. When the door opened again Sasuke felt like it was too soon but he didn’t question it until he saw a shadow coming closer to him. He glanced to the side, his eyes widening but he saw that it was Suigetsu and though his heart was still beating quickly, he relaxed at seeing the familiar face, though he was still confused.

“You didn’t eat dinner, right?” Sasuke nodded as he sat up, cringing when a sharp pain eccomponnied his every move. “Tayuya’s the one on duty tonight, she doesn’t check as thoroughly as the others, we can go to the canteen, get something to eat.” Sasuke was frozen for a moment, his mind telling him that it was too risky but his stomach cramped in protest to those thoughts. When Suigetsu turned to leave Sasuke got out of bed, and as quietly as he could, followed the boy out of the building.

“Why didn’t you invite Karin?” Sasuke stared at the back of the older boy’s head while they walked. Suigetsu was quiet for a long moment, long enough to make Sasuke think that he wasn’t going to answer but when he closed the door of the canteen behind them and stepped further into the darkness, he spoke up.

“‘Cause I didn’t want to.” Sasuke furrowed his brows and followed after Suigetsu when the boy walked further into the kitchen, being careful not to bump into anything.

“Why do you hate her?” Suigetsu opened a cupboard and Sasuke could hear him shuffle through plastic.

“You don’t understand.” Suigetsu didn’t say anything else and that made Sasuke frown. This reminded him of when his father would talk and treat him as if he were something less, as if he was too stupid to understand something. This reminded him of the way Orochimaru spoke to him and swallowing down the stinging pain in his throat, Sasuke forced out the words:

“Then explain.” That seemed to get the white-haired boy’s attention and he glanced at Sasuke, as if he were surprised to hear him say that. Suigetsu walked closer to the younger boy and handed him a bun, making sure that Sasuke got a hold of it and didn’t drop it in the dark.

“I need to hate someone.” Suigetsu said quietly, his voice so low and vulnerable, it was the first time Sasuke heard him speak that way. “I need to show someone that I don’t like doing those things during therapy. And she’s doing the same thing.” Suigetsu sighed before taking a bite out of his bun and Sasuke lowered his eyes, doing the same thing. He understood. that was the only form of rebellion that they had, the only way fight back when you couldn’t do anything to Orochimaru. Then, a memory of their previous conversation flashed in his mind and Sasuke asked a question before he even though about it.

“How did Jugo manage to punch a staff member hard enough to make the pain last for a whole week?” He looked up at the older boy and waited until Suigetsu would stop chewing. Neither of them were rushing. This wasn’t much but this was the first thing Sasuke had since lunch, he was starving and the simple bun made his mouth water but he forced himself to ask questions and eat slowly, he wanted to savour it for as long as possible.

“He’s fucking huge. He’s one of the oldest here but he’s a fucking anomaly. Pure height and muscle but he was pretty calm for the first month or so. Then his friend died and he lost his shit.”

“Someone died?” Sasuke furrowed his brows as he took another small bite.

“Kimaru or Kimamu his name was, I ‘on’t remember.” Suigetsu shrugged. “He used to be Orochimaru’s favourite and he jus’ couldn’t handle that shit no more. Starved himself to death and Jugo just… don’t even know how to explain it. He just lost his shit, started screaming, cussing everyone out, throwing, hitting shit. Jurobu tried to restrain him and got knocked down on his ass. When he finally calmed down he went to the hole willingly and hasn’t come out since. The staff were wary of him from day one and after that outburst I’m pretty sure they’re relieved he’s staying in there.” Sasuke was quiet for a moment as he let Suigetsu’s words sink in.

“Why did he starve himself? Couldn’t he have… I don’t know, told his parents, told someone? There’s always another way out.”

“Look at this place, Sas.” He could hear Suigetsu huff. “Look at us, look at you. We’re trapped and the only way out is in a body bag. I’ve been here over a year. I’ve seen countless kids come here, I’ve only seen one leave an’ that was Jugo’s friend.” Sasuke lowered his eyes to the ground, he felt his hands shake and he was glad that it was dark enough for Suigetsu not to notice it.

“How can you be so sure.” His voice shook but Sasuke didn’t care. “There’s got to be another way out.” Suigetsu was quiet for a long moment and Sasuke wondered if he insulted the older boy but then Suigetsu spoke.

“It’s so clear that you were raised in a gated community. I won’t laugh, it ain’t your fault that you still, so stupidly, try to believe that everything ain’t so bad, especially after what happened today.” Suigetsu stated and Sasuke felt his face heat, the shame and humiliation mixing in his gut. “Life ain’t all flowers and rainbows, Sas. I get that I experienced life more than you did, I know how to play this game, I know how to survive. But it’s about time for you to open your eyes. We’re in hell, there’s no way out and we can only learn how to make life here more tolerable.” When Sasuke didn’t answer back immediately after, Suigetsu took the hint that he finally got though the younger boy’s head and he continued.

“You’re a smart kid, you should learn what to do if you don’t wanna get beat. Like, for starters, you should’ve already caught on to this - stay quiet. Don’t say a damn word and if they are beating you, whine but don’t say anything. That implies to the outside world too. Don’t say a damn thing but if they make you talk - lie.”

“I don’t like lying.” Sasuke cut the older boy off and he huffed.

“Then stay quiet. Don’t lie, jus’ don’t say anything you don’t want to say.” Sasuke heard Suigetsu take a bite from the bun and continue talking while chewing. “When I lie I try to make ‘em believe I’m stupid. Jus’ plain dumb, too coked up to understand a thing. They lower their guard if they think you’re stupid and harmless. Most think I’m easy to manipulate but then I say things to put everything in my favor and they don’ even realize how I manipulated them, jus’ gotta know what to say and what to do so that they ‘on’t get in your head first.” Sasuke heard Suigetsu take another bite and a second of silence filled the room.

“It’s all ‘bout taking care of yourself and your well being. Everyone’s guilty that you ended up like this. Your parents for sending you here, the staff for treating you like this, everyone else for being out to get you. Believe me, they’ll grab your food, your jacket an’ anything else if they’ll have the chance. Everyone’s out to get you so they owe you for that. That’s why you gotta do everything for yourself. Find a bun?” Sasuke could see Suigetsu hold up the piece of bread in front of him. “Take it. Find a jacket? It’s yours now. If you find something that you need, then take it ‘cause ain’t no one going to give it to you.” Sasuke could hear the boy sigh.

“Find someone stronger, bigger, smarter and most importantly, learn. Though seems like you’re already doin’ that.” Sasuke could hear the smile in Suigetsu’s voice and understood that Suigetsu had realized a long time ago why Sasuke stayed so close to him. The older boy not only knew this place in and out but he knew how to survive in such circumstance and Sasuke had gotten unbelievably lucky to be put on kitchen duty with Suigetsu on his first day.

“The weak one’s break.” Suigetsu’s voice was nothing more than a whisper but Sasuke could hear the emotion in his voice. “The whole point of this camp is to destroy you psychologically, their job is to break us and rebuild a whole new person, someone easy to control and manipulate, someone who will listen and obey and won’t talk back. So many kids have been broken here because they simply couldn’t handle the pressure.” Suigetsu got quiet for a moment but then seemed to remember something. “I’ve heard that most of Orochimaru’s staff used to be kids who were sent here, and look at them now. Orochimaru broke them and molded them into something useful for him. They grew up and they didn’t get out, they stayed here.”

“But why. He can’t legally keep us here once we turn eighteen, right?”

“Sure, by the law we belong to our parents until we’re eighteen and if they decided to send us here then they can keep us here until adulthood. But who’s keeping count? Not me and no other kid here. Why do you think there are no calenders or phones here?” Suigetsu leaned closer to Sasuke, as if that would help his point get though better. “First of all so that no one would know how much time they actually spent here and second, he’s trying to separate us from the outside world. He makes us completely dependent on him. Legally you can leave once you’re eighteen but what are you going to do? Your parents are manipulated into wanting to keep you here longer ‘cause they start to believe that we’re some sort of savages who shouldn’t be allowed to live in a functioning society until Orochimaru says otherwise. You can leave but don’t expect any help from your parents, they won’t support you emotionally or financially, you’ll end up on the streets and you can forget about your friends.” Suigetsu leaned back and crossed his arms.

“After all this time it’d be a miracle if they’ll even remember your name. That’s why so many stay here even after they’re legally allowed to leave. They have nowhere to go and they don’t know how to live outside. After spending so much time here you get used to the routine and everything outside is different, unpredictable and it’s scary. Change is scary. That’s why no one gets out. They either stay and work for Orochimaru or they leave in a body bag, because the only way to truly be let out, alive, is only after Orochimaru has completely destroyed you, sucked the life out of you and made you into a playable marionette.” Suigetsu let out a sigh and realized that Sasuke hadn’t uttered a word and has been staring at his feet this whole time.

“Look, I ain’t tryin’ to scare you. I’m just doing what no one else will, I’m telling you the truth. And I know that it ain’t fun to hear it. I know that it hurts but the sooner you realize it, the better. People who aren’t psychologically strong are broken here faster than a dog chews a bone and I don’t want to see you become his good little pet.” Suigetsu got quiet and licked his lips, growing worried at the silence but Sasuke spoke up before he could say anything else.

“I’ll get out. We will get out, I can promise you that. We will be alive and well and we won’t spend the rest of our lives here.” Sasuke’s voice shook and it didn’t sound like the boy usually did. His throat stung and hurt from the tears that he desperately tried to keep from falling. Suigetsu snorted but he didn’t immediately begin to distinguish Sasuke’s hope.

“Haven’t heard those words in a while.” He could hear a smirk in the older boy’s voice. “Eveyone thinks that in the beginning, then everyone loses hope. But alright, let’s say we manage to get out what do we do then? Nah, fuck that, let’s say you’re not here. What would you be doing?”

“I would probably be at home studying or I would be helping at the church.” Sasuke could hear Suigetsu chuckle but the boy didn’t call him a nerd like his classmates would’ve already done.

“If I wouldn’t be here right now, I would probably be lying somewhere warm, sipping a pinacolada.” Sasuke smiled at the nostalgic tone of voice, it was the first time he heard Suigetsu speak so softly and without any worry as if he relaxed for the first time since Sasuke met him. It felt refreshing and interesting. The white-haired boy could cuss him out but help him the next moment, which left Sasuke confused the first time they met. Suigetsu talked like he hated everyone and everything but it was so clear that the boy cared. He was quiet and obedient with Orochimaru but his violet eyes always shined with rebellion. The boy would say stupid things and swear as if he didn’t know a thing in the world or simply didn’t care but then he would say something smart, something that Sasuke wouldn’t have even though about. He would have his guard up and look unaproacvhable all the time but then he would speak about travelling with his family with such fondness that it made Sasuke wonder if this was really the same person. And all of this made Sasuke feel like he made the right choice when he started hanging around the older boy.

“Your family travels?” Suigetsu hummed.

“Me and my ma can’t handle the cold. So the four of us used to always go somewhere warm whenever winter came. We live by the sea so the winter and autumn winds are always cruel there. Though I’d rather take the winter’s back home than at this camp.” Suigetsu sighed and Sasuke could hear him lean against the table top. They had stopped eating a while ago but neither were thinking of going back to their rooms. “But in reality I don’t think that’s what I’d actually be doing.” The silence, when Sasuke dind’t answer, was enough of an encouragment for Suigetsu to continue and explain himself. “I’d probably be getting revenge right now, so being stuck here is like putting my life on pause.”

“Getting revenge?” Sasuke furrowed his brows as he stared at Suigetsu, trying to understand what the older boy meant.

“Yeah, for my brother.” Sasuke stayed quiet, hoping that the white-haired boy would continue but in stead Suigetsu cocked his head to the side, which allowed the moon to light his face and Sasuke could see a sly smirk with a sharp tooth poking out from behind Suigetsu’s top lip. “But that’s a story for another time.” Sasuke stared at the boy for a moment longer, his face carefully neutral but then a small smile appeared on his face too.

“Then I suppose we’ll have to get out of here alive if we want to make our dreams come true.” He repeated the words swimming in his mind, like a mantra, like a prayer. And Sasuke was willing to repeat it for as long as needed, for as long as it would take him to believe it, for as long as it would take until Suigetsu would believe it. Because they were going to get out. Maybe not now but one day they will leave this wretched place behind, one way or another.

Chapter 7

Summary:

This one’s rough…

Notes:

I don’t usually do trigger warnings but since the tag wasn’t added before this,
Tw detailed description of sh; cutting

Naruto looked at the large building in front of him, excitement and nervousness made his heart pound in his chest. He had stood in front of the doors of this building many times, he had walked the corridors there more times than he could count but now was different. He wasn’t going to walk in there to see his dad, he was going to walk in like a new student. A brand new student in his father’s high school. He was proud to be the son of the director in his school, a part of him made him believe that it warranted him more respect than the other students. And he wasn’t only proud of the fact that he was the director's son but also because he knew this high school better than his friends.

He had been here countless times and that made him feel a sense of superiority over the others. This wasn’t new to him, he knew where all of the hallways led and he was even familiar with some of the teachers, which made him sprint through the halls, dodging all of the older, taller kids as he ran, leaving his friends in the dust. He knew that Kiba and Sakura could barely keep up and he felt proud of himself for leaving his friends in the dust. But as he turned another corner his running was brought to a sudden halt when he hit something - or rather - someone. Naruto fell on his ass right on the ground. He heard that the other person didn’t take the hit lightly either as they let out a grunt and no doubt were pushed forward, nearly falling themselves.

Naruto rubbed his head, opening his eyes, he opened his mouth getting ready to tell this person off for standing in the way and not only causing him to bump into them but also for making him fall but his words were suddenly caught in his throat and he didn’t seem to be able to get a single word out when he saw the person standing in front of him. And Naruto was left frozen like that, not able to get up, close his mouth or take his eyes away from who was standing in front of him.

“Oh, are you alright?” She turned around and brushed a strand of her long black hair behind her ear.

“Um-“ Naruto couldn’t even form words as he watched her bend down and extend her arm towards him. “Y-yeah.” He smiled and reached for her hand, getting surprised by the softness of her skin. “Thanks, miss.” He stood up and rubbed the back of his head, still smiling at her. He wasn’t sure why but a part of him wanted to talk to her with respect as he yearned for her to like him. That’s when Naruto noticed her eyes widened, not by much but enough for him to notice it, her soft features grew still as the corners of her mouth twitched downward and her pale cheeks grew pink as a blush spread on her face. Naruto heard two boys laugh behind the girl and his smile fell in confusion but before he could ask or confront them she took her hand away from his grip and smiled at Naruto again.

“No problem, be careful running around here. These halls are usually packed.”

“Yeah, of course. Thanks again and-“

“Haku, let’s go, we’ll be late.” Naruto was cut off by one of the boys behind the girl - Haku - just as Naruto was about to ask her name. He felt a pang of disappointment hit him when he realized that the girl was going to leave. The girl turned around to face her friends.

“Coming,” she said and just as Naruto opened his mouth to ask for her number he was cut off again, only this time by the girl in front of him. “Oh, and by the way,” she said without turning around, allowing Naruto to get a better look at her lithe form, the soft brown sweater and black jeans that she was wearing. ”I’m a boy.” She - he said and walked off leaving Naruto being able to only focus on his black hair.

This time Naruto was left as the one standing with his eyes wide, staring as the boy walked off. Haku was even prettier than some of the girls in his class. He could barely believe it and from what he could remember he was probably only the second boy Naruto’s seen that was actually pretty. Soft feminine features, pale skin, pretty eyes. He was so focused that he didn’t even hear his name being yelled from behind and his attention was gotten only when he felt a hard punch to the back of his head. He didn’t even need to turn around to know who it was.

“Ow- Sakura, why’d you do that?” He whined as he rubbed the back of his head and the girl only glared at him.

“Because we’re 14 years old.” She raised her voice and her fist threateningly. “We’re supposed to act like it, not like we’re 12. Running around the halls.” She grumbled the last part and turned to face Kiba when the boy walked up to them. “We’re in a whole new school. Try not to embarrass us.” Naruto groaned and stood up straighter.

“What’s there to be embarrassed about? You were running too. Plus, it’s not like anyone said anything. And even if they did, I'd like to see them try and say something to the director’s son.” Naruto smiled, flashing his white teeth, which made his two friends sigh and groan.

“Being the director's son doesn’t mean that you can break rules whenever you want.”

“Righ, right, sure.” Naruto brushed her off and turned around. “C’mon, we gotta hurry or we’ll be late.” And he ran off, leaving his friends in the dust.

Naruto found the classroom easily enough, with his friends following closely behind him. All of their classmates were already sitting in their seats, which was expected, as the bell had rang a couple of minutes ago. But it was just their luck that the teacher was late too. The three of them sat down in whatever seats were left free. The teacher walked into class 10 minutes later and everyone got silent only when the man stepped in. His every step was taken assuringly and without any rush, as if he owned the place and had all the time in the world. The scar on his eye and the black mask on his face made him look threateningly but the way the man dropped his book on his desk, sighed and looked every student over with a bored expression on his face, and the fact that Naruto already knew the man, that made his appearance not look as terrifying as from first glance.

“My name is Kakashi Hatake,” the man spoke, his tone of voice sounded just as bored as his eyes looked. “I will be your English literature and your homeroom class teacher. And I will warn you, remember this for all of the years to come, it is difficult to pass my class. In truth, only three or four of you will succeed and that’s not even mentioning passing with a good grade. I’m strict not only when it comes to your grades but your overall behavior to. Be respectful, work hard and honestly and we might get along. And if you don’t think that you will be capable of passing my class then I suggest switching to a different class and a different teacher while you still have the chance.” Naruto stared wide-eyed. This day was full of surprises. First - the encounter with Haku and now Kakashi.

The man’s lazy tone of voice no longer did anything to make him seem more welcoming as his threatening words settled amongst the students. Naruto let out a nervous breath. This man seemed nothing like the person that would occasionally come to visit them. The laid back and lazy man didn’t resemble this strict teacher in any way and a part of Naruto felt nervous. It was clear that he wasn’t the only one as the class erupted in displeased grumbles and mumbles that Kakashi didn’t seem to pay any attention to.

“And now, without wasting any more time, I’ve prepared tests to see and evaluate just how much you all know and remember from middle school. Your coursebooks are already ready at the library, don’t forget to take them after this lesson.”

“Man…” Kiba groaned as he walked beside Naruto and stretched his arms above his head. “Who assigns homework on the first day of school? Nah, scratch that, who gives out tests on the first day of school?”

“This guy apparently does.” Sakura grumbled, sounding just as displeased as Kiba was.

“I heard from my dad that he’s one of the best teachers here. He perfectly prepares kids for the exams or something but I guess that also means he has huge expectations.” Naruto remembered his father mentioning it once or twice before.

“He also seems like a huge ass.” Sakura didn’t let up.

“He didn’t even take attendance.” Choji mumbled behind them and Shikamaru, who was walking beside the bigger boy, sighed.

“He’ll know who was present by who took the tests.” Shikamaru explained. “And this is a prestigious high school, of course the teachers here are gonna be tough on us. What did you expect? If you don’t like it you can always leave, he was pretty clear about that.” That earned him a glare from the girl.

“Since when are you so serious about studies? And what’s up with you? You’re not usually such a big ass.” Shikamaru sighed and didn’t answer, though Choji did it for him.

“He didn’t get a chance to sleep in today so he’s pissy.”

“I’m not pissy.” Shikamaru grumbled and rubbed his eyes. “Though, you’re right. Mom woke me up far too early for any human to function properly. Plus, my old man really wanted me to get Kakashi as my teacher so he was on my back for the last few days, saying that I’ll have to work and be respectful… so much trouble for no reason at all.” At those words Naruto’s eyes landed on a group of kids walking on the other side of the hall and without thinking he rushed over to them, leaving his friend group behind.

“Haku! Hey,” the boy slowed in his tracks, letting his friends go past him and turned to see Naruto. His confused expression was softened with a smile but his brows were still furrowed, indicating that he didn’t understand why Naruto had come running towards him. “Sorry for stopping you and for bumping into you earlier.” Naruto scratched the back of his neck while Haku smiled. “I was wondering… maybe- maybe you’d like to go somewhere after school?” Haku stared at him in silence for a few seconds.

“I-“ He spoke but cut himself off as if he wasn’t sure what would be the appropriate thing to say. Haku wet his lips and Naruto subconsciously followed the action with his eyes. “I don’t even know your name.” This time Naruto was the one who blushed as he realized that he hadn’t even introduced himself.

“Oh- right. The name’s Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki.”

“Well, Naruto,” Haku smiled at him. “Thank you for the invitation but you’re a freshman, right?”

“Yeah.” Naruto nodded.

“I think it’s really sweet but… you should invite someone your own age for a date.”

“Someone my own age?” Naruto asked, his voice dropping in octave as his confusion grew. “What? Are you like a senior or something?”

“I’m a sophomore. And 16.” Neither Haku’s voice or expression changed while he gently explained.

“So? That’s only two years. That’s not a very big difference we could still-“

“Naruto.” Haku cut him off and took in a breath to steady himself and to think of what to say. “Again, thank you for the invitation but… I have a boyfriend. We could be friends, if you want, but no dates, alright?” Naruto stared at him for a few long seconds. Haku had a boyfriend. Well of course someone as pretty and nice as Haku would already be taken. Naruto's not sure why he even tried. Naruto noticed Haku’s expression and realized that he’d been quiet for too long.

“Oh, yeah, ok. Alright. Sure.” Naruto smiled at him. “I’d love to be friends with you.”

 

It was another restless night of staring up at the dark ceiling when Sasuke realized that it was his last night there. His eyes widened and uncontrollable happiness made his heart beat faster. It was the tenth night since he got here and it was the last. Sasuke turned on his side with a smile on his face and suddenly felt even more awake than ever. In the morning, he sat down next to Suigetsu and Karin, which had become almost natural to him, and questioned the white-haired boy.

“How does it work?” Suigetsu repeated silently. “I don’ know. Never seen anyone leave.” He looked up at a staff member and when he was sure it was safe, spoke up again. “Did Orochimaru tell you it’s your last day?” Sasuke shook his head. He wasn’t told that neither today nor yesterday but he had counted and he remembered Orochimaru’s words. This was supposed to be his last day here. Suigetsu swallowed a bite of yoghurt. “Then I doubt they’re gonna let you out.”

Sasuke furrowed his brows but didn’t answer. This was supposed to be his last day, he was sure of it. But the day passed and none of the staff came to tell him that it was time to go home. Soon night fell and Sasuke was left staring at the ceiling again. Had he miscounted? Maybe this was his last night here? Maybe he made a mistake and he was going to be let out tomorrow. But the next day came and he wasn’t approached once again. Sasuke focused on the canteen tiles that he was scrubbing. The hard rock dug into his knees but that wasn’t bothering him as the only thing on his mind for the last half hour was whether or not he should approach a staff member and ask them about it.

Suigetsu said not to risk it and he wanted to listen but the fact that he still wasn’t leaving was eating at him. He was sure that asking Kabuto would’ve been a mistake but maybe someone else would answer him? He kept scrubbing until he heard the door open and a brown-haired woman walked in.

“Are you done?” It was the same one who woke him up on his first day here. He swallowed and stared at her while she approached.

“Almost.” He answered, his voice quiet and then he could no longer resist it. “Uhm, do you, by chance know if- when I’m leaving?” She furrowed her brows and looked at him for a second.

“Who are you?”

“Uchiha Sasuke.” She didn’t seem pleased that he was talking with her but she was answering and for now that was all that mattered. ”I’m not sure. Why are you asking?” He hesitated. Was it safe to tell her that he was keeping count of the nights he spent here? But he didn’t think there were any rules against it.

“It’s supposed to be the end of my ten days here.”

“Well, no one’s supposed to leave today. I’m guessing your time here was extended.” She shrugged and after waiting another moment left him alone. While Sasuke could only look at the soapy tiles, trying not to let his tears fall.

Sasuke stared out the window at the thick trees by the fence surrounding their camp.

“Don’ do it.” He glanced at Suigetsu, who was hanging up wet laundry on a rope hanging in the laundry room.

“What do you mean?” He asked and took a better hold of the basket that held the rest of the wet clothes. Sasuke had to mop the floors in the whole bedroom building while Suigetsu was tasked with laundry. He wasn’t sure what Karin was doing exactly but he knew that she was in the kitchen. He had just finished mopping the floors of the hall when Suigetsu had pulled him around the corner and the two of them sneaked down to the laundry room while the staff member had her back turned.

“You’ve got that look in your eyes.” Suigetsu answered without looking back at him and Sasuke frowned just as the boy turned to get another shirt from the basket and he sighed, noticing Sasuke’s furrowed brows. “You’re thinking of somethin’.” Sasuke looked to the side.

“We’re going to get out.”

“Sure.” Sasuke glared at the white-haired boy’s tone of voice.

“Last time we talked you liked the idea.” This time Suigetsu turned to grab a jacket with a smirk on his face.

“Just ‘cause I encouraged you don’t mean I liked the idea.” Sasuke sighed and turned his head to look out the window.

“There’s got to be a way.”

“We’re surrounded by a forest that stretches out for miles. There’s a river that’s forming into a swamp not far from here and we’re always watched by the staff.” Suigetsu said, his voice just above a mutter.

“But we manage to sneak around.”

“That’s different.” Suigetsu huffed. “It’s easier inside of the camp, some of the staff don’t pay attention to you if they think you’re working or if they know that you don’t cause trouble...” Sasuke caught his bottom lip in between his teeth and chewed on the dry skin as he thought.

“I could try to run…” He mumbled, ignoring Suigetsu’s previous words. “If I could reach the city or get my hands on a phone and call the police… I could get you out.” Suigetsu snorted, clearly not taking the idea seriously but he didn’t comment on it so Sasuke took it as a win. “You’re keeping track of them right?”

“Hm?” Suigetsu hummed and slightly turned his head in Sasuke's direction.

“The staff. You’re keeping track of them, right? Who’s outside today?” Suigetsu was quiet for a moment as he straightened out the fabric on the rope.

“Jurobo’s keeping watch over the ones working outside.” Sasuke stared at the window for a moment longer and then turned his head to face Suigetsu.

“So I’ll just have to wait until he has his back turned to the fence and then I can run.”

“That’s a bad idea.” Suigetsu muttered and took another jacket from the basket.

“I have to do something. I won’t just sit and wait.” Sasuke muttered but Suigetsu didn’t turn to face him. “Will you help me?” This time, after a moment of acting as if he didn’t hear anything, Suigetsu sighed, and looked back, violet eyes meeting black ones.

Sasuke stood outside, hidden behind the building wall, right where it met the porch. Suigetsu was leaning on the railing, staring forward, where, no doubt, Jurobo was. Sasuke was looking at Suigetsu and willing his heart to stop, but it didn’t listen to him and his already fast heart rate seemed to pick up even more with each passing second. While Suigetsu was acting as if Sasuke wasn’t even there, he looked calm, almost bored, he barely moved a muscle until he gave Sasuke a thumb’s up, hidden behind his crossed arms. That was Sasuke’s signal and he moved. At first cautiously, still scared that someone might notice him but then the idea, that the longer he took the bigger the chance of getting caught became, made him hurry.

He walked over to the large metal fence, grabbed a hold of the wires and with a pounding heart that felt like it was about to beat out of his ribcage, he climbed onto the fence. He pulled himself up, surprised at how weak his arms felt and Sasuke wasn’t sure if it was because this was his first time climbing a fence or because the small food portions were taking all of his energy and strength out of him but either way he couldn’t focus on that at the moment. His whole focus had to be on climbing over the fence and getting to the other side. He was clumsy and the metal rattled, making noise but he hadn’t heard any signal from Suigetsu so he hoped that none of the staff had noticed him. At this little part of land there was no one around other than him and Suigetsu but he knew that Jurobo and two other kids were barely 20 meters away.

Finally, after a bit of struggling Sasuke got to the very top and climbed over to the other side. The fence didn’t feel very secure or strong but the way down was much smoother than the way up and soon Sasuke found himself taking a few steps away from the camp. Though he knew that he was still practically in the camp's territory, the mere fact that he was outside of the fence was enough to bring a smile to his face. Without wasting even a second, Sasuke turned around and began sprinting away, with only one thing on his mind, which was the urge to get home and help his friends escape this camp too.

His plan was to make a large circle around the camp, find the dirt road and then follow it until it led him to a city and from then on it would be a piece of cake to make his way home. He’d just have to find someone walking down the street and call the police and they, without a doubt would bring him home. Then he would just have to ask them to help his friends here. It all seemed easy enough in his head. And his most important task right now was not to get caught. Sasuke walked in between the trees like a frightened foal jumping at the slightest of sounds, even from twigs snapping underneath his own feet but he didn’t stop, he walked, and he got further away from the camp.

He was sure he was going on the right path and then he heard voices. Sasuke stopped and listened. They were coming from the other side where the camp was, so it couldn’t be any staff member but it was also far too deep in the forest and far too close to the camp for it to be random hikers. Hikers. Sasuke remembered the hikes that were organized here. A group had left the next day after Suigetsu came back, they must’ve been coming back. Sasuke stood closer to a tree, hoping that its large trunk would shield and hide him. He didn’t see anyone yet but he could hear them and they were coming closer.

Sasuke felt his heart race and he took a hesitant step backwards, keeping his gaze to where the sounds were coming from. He could see them now, a group of around 7 or 8 kids were standing in a small circle and it meant that a staff member would be somewhere close. Sasuke hunched over and lowered himself closer to the ground, trying to look smaller, as if it would help him hide and blend into the surroundings better. Then he felt a hand on the back of his neck, trying to grab the hem of his jacket. Sasuke let out an involuntary yelp and threw himself forward, somehow managing to get away before the hand grabbed him and he ran.

“Fucking bitch.” He heard someone cuss behind him and then heavy footsteps landed on the ground, following after him. “Come back here!” It was a man that was chasing him but all that was on Sasuke’s mind was the animalistic instinct to get away from the danger. The need to live and to survive fueled him and he ran as fast as his legs would carry him but that wasn’t fast enough. He felt a hand grab him by the hood of his jacket and pull him backwards, making him choke as the zipper dug into his throat.

Sasuke fell backwards and was caught in the man’s hands. He wasn’t gentle as he grabbed onto Sasuke wherever he could, keeping a tight hold on him so as to not let him get away again. And Sasuke did the only thing that seemed logical to him at the moment and sunk his teeth into the hand holding onto the hem of his clothes. He felt the iron taste of blood on his tongue and heard the man cuss but he didn’t let go until the hand was ripped away. In the next moment he felt a punch land straight to his nose and a strong, dull pain spread through his face. The force was hard enough to knock him over on his ass as the man no longer held him, but held onto his bleeding hand.

“Fucking whore…” He heard the man whisper but Sasuke was no longer focusing on him but his throbbing nose as he held onto it. His vision blurred as his eyes filled with tears and Sasuke felt wetness run down his upper lip. He wiped it off, cringing and sucking in a breath at the pain coming from his nose. He looked down and saw thick red blood coating his hand. Sasuke gasped through his open mouth as more blood rushed down and he looked up at the man, who didn’t waste a second and pulled him up by his jacket.

Sasuke was pushed into the middle of the group and all of the kids looked at him with confused expressions on their faces, no doubt not understanding where he came from. They walked back to the camp and the man kept a closer eye on Sasuke, not even allowing the boy to walk a few steps behind him. When they stepped through the front gates Sasuke noticed Kabuto waiting for them and he lowered his eyes to the ground.

“Is everyone back?” The younger man asked and uncrossed his arms from his chest.

“Yeah, and I got you a little present too.” The man smirked which caused Kabuto to frown and take a few steps towards them. His eyes fell on Sasuke, who was still obediently keeping his head lowered, and the white-haired man frowned.

Sasuke stayed close to Suigetsu and Karin while everyone gathered at the canteen. Orochimaru stood in front of the tables and didn’t allow anyone to sit down, which made the kids stand in front of the entrance, waiting for what the man was going to say. Each and every one of them had confused and worried looks on their face.

“Now that everyone is here.” Orochimaru began, looking at each and every kid, making them focus on his words more. “It seems that you, my dear children, do not have enough work as you have enough free time and energy to be making stupid decisions. Because of that, I’ve decided that you can go without dinner, breakfast and maybe even lunch. Furthermore, from tomorrow on, your chores will double until I’ve decided that you have learned your lesson to obey. Sasuke heard as a few gasps and sighs echoed through the otherwise silent room. Then, a quiet whisper got his attention and he looked to the side, where he saw one boy whispering something to the other while both of them glared at him. Sasuke didn’t hold their heated gaze and turned his gaze to Suigetsu. One of the boys was someone from the group that went hiking and no doubt, the fact that everyone was punished because he tried to escape will spread like wildfire here.

Sasuke looked up at Suigetsu’s face but the boy looked as calm as always. As if the news that they weren’t going to get any food for a full day didn’t affect him. He didn’t look angry or sad or shocked and that lighted hope inside of Sasuke as he wished that the boy wouldn’t be angry at him like everyone else was. Then he glanced at Karin who was standing just as close to him as Suigetsu was and though she looked sad, when she noticed his gaze, she didn’t look at him with anger in her eyes. Instead, she smiled. Sasuke hadn’t expected that. For as long as he can remember if he ever made even the slightest mistake, no matter how small, whether in school or at home, his friends would always laugh at him, using the chance to point out the places he was weak in and his father would always reprimand him for his failures. His mistakes would always end with him being humiliated in front of everyone, a stern talking-to from his father and then a belting.

He messed up. He made a mistake and that cost everyone their food but his friends didn’t look angry and that didn’t make him feel like a huge disappointment. When Orochimaru left and everyone followed after the man, Sasuke didn’t miss the angry glares that he got from the people around him but he glanced at the older white-haired boy walking in front of him and he hoped that Suigetsu wasn’t feeling the same as the rest of these kids. He could handle these strangers hating him but not his friends. Then the boy in front of him turned in the direction of their bedroom building and both Sasuke and Karin walked after him but then he made an abrupt stop, nearly making the raven-haired boy bump into him. Sasuke felt Karin touch his shoulder as if to stop herself from bumping into him.

“I’m going to finish the laundry.” Suigetsu said, turning his head just a bit in their direction but he didn’t face them.

“Ok. We’re coming with?” Sasuke asked, suddenly no longer so sure. They had spent each possible moment together and it felt strange not to do it but then Sasuke heard Suigetsu sigh.

“I told you it was a bad idea.” He grumbled and turned away from them. Sasuke noticed Suigetsu clench his fist and heard him take in another deep breath, as if the older boy was trying to control himself and his emotions. “I’ve always been alone and that’s always worked out for me. Then… you come. And I get my food taken away.” Suigetsu sighed and Sasuke noticed Karin take a step forward.

“Hey.” He warned him, her voice low but Suigetsu didn’t listen.

“I’ve always been alone and I’ve managed. So leave me alone.” Those were the last words he said before walking away from them and Sasuke was left standing, with Karin by his side in the middle of the field. Sasuke stared at Suigetsu’s retreating form and felt his breath hitch. Somehow, this felt even worse than having his food privileges taken away. Sasuke heard Karin scoff next to him.

“Good. Let him go. We can manage just fine without him. Even better, in my opinion.” Sasuke didn’t answer and stepped forward and to the side, walking behind the building, near the fence that he had climbed over. “Where are you going?” Karin asked as she coughed up to him.

“I don’t know.” Sasuke muttered, noticing four boys leaning on the building wall. They had no doubt come here in order to talk, away from the staff’s eyes and ears. Their little group noticed the two of them approaching and fell silent, keeping a close eye on him and Karin as they walked. Sasuke wasn’t sure where he was going, he just wanted a quiet place to think and now that he knew that this place was already taken, his mind raced, trying to remember other spots in the camp that were as deserted as this one but nothing other than the shed or the hole, as Suigetsu called it, didn’t come to mind. Sasuke felt that the looks followed his every move and he kept his head high, acting as if their stares didn’t affect him, as if they didn’t know about the disgusting things that happened to him with Orochimaru and that it wasn’t his fault that the whole camp had to starve now.

One of the boys seemed to recognize him and he whispered something to another boy, who immediately turned to glare at Sasuke and pushed himself off the wall, coming to stand in front of the two kids, blocking their path. Sasuke stopped and glared at the boy, surprised that he even came close to them.

“So you’re the runaway, huh?” He asked with a sneer. For a moment, Sasuke considered not answering him but then he raised his head higher and while not breaking his own glare answered in a similar tone of voice that the other boy spoke to him with.

“And what if I am? What about it?” The boy grinned and glanced at his three friends that had surrounded them. Sasuke felt Karin tug at his arm, urging him to step back and not confront these boys but he didn’t listen and tugged his arm back, showing that he was going to stand his ground.

“What about it?” The boy in front of him repeated, his voice mocking. “Well we’ve got rules here and breaking them means the consequences are a punishment.”

“So, I’ve noticed. Orochimaru was sure to make that pretty clear today.” The boy scoffed.

“I’m not talking about Orochimaru. The staff got their own punishment but so do we. And we don’t like it when everyone has to suffer because of stupid bastards like you.” The boy practically spat in his face as he took another step closer, glaring down at Sasuke. And though understanding the severity of the situation, he could see a staff member further in the distance and he was sure that they weren’t going to allow them to fight. That shouldn’t be allowed. “You get what I’m saying?” This time the boy pushed him and without thinking, acting purely instinctively, Sasuke answered with a similar shove, which was the breaking point that unleashed all hell.

The boy answered back immediately and punched Sasuke in the face so quickly that the boy didn’t even have time to react to his coming fist. The blow knocked him down on the ground and at that moment Karin ran. The other three boys let her, which showed that their aggression lay only with him. Sasuke tried to get up but the other three were just as quick to push and knock him down. At that moment he realized how screwed he was, all alone in this circle, a bully victim for the first time in his life and Sasuke hated it. Hated the feeling of being so weak and helpless the same as that day when Orochimaru called him to his room.

With those thoughts, seemingly out of nowhere, white flashed before his eyes and the boy in front of him fell to the ground with a painful grunt. Sasuke blinked, not understanding what happened for the first few moments and then he realized that it was Suigetsu. The older boy was standing in front of him with the fallen boy lying by his feet, clutching his nose.

“Four against one.” Suigetsu muttered, staring each boy down. “Not very fair, is it?” The moment of schock passed and the first boy scoffed.

“Two against four won’t make a big difference either.” He threatened but Suigetsu didn’t seem phased by his words at all.

“We’re gonna get hurt, that’s fo’ sure. But you ain’t gonna win.” That angered the other boy and he lunged but Suigetsu bent down, dodged his right hook and punched the boy in the cheek. The rest got up to fight too and Sasuke saw as one of them ran up behind Suigetsu to grab at the white-haired boy. That got Sasuke moving and he swiftly pushed himself off the ground. He pushed that boy off Suigetsu and landed a punch to his cheek. Then out of nowhere the fourth boy came running and tackled Sasuke to the ground hitting him hard on his cheekbone. Sasuke tried to push him off but his hands kept being pushed to the side as the boy used his whole weight on top of him as an advantage. He brought his hand back in order to land another blow on Sasuke but then the raven-haired boy heard a dull thump and the boy fell to the ground, groaning and clutching his head.

Sasuke looked up and saw Karin, staring wide-eyed at him with a large rock in her hand. In the end a staff member came to separate them before things escalated even more. They were all brought to Orochimaru and even while being reprimanded Sasuke couldn’t help but feel proud of himself. For the first time in his life he didn’t care for the angry words being spoken and instead, he kept glancing at the four boys. His cheek hurt and no doubt a bruise was going to form underneath his eye and Suigetsu had a busted lip but the other four boys looked worse, especially the one with the bleeding head, and Sasuke felt proud. He knew that it was a sin to feel that way, he knew that it was wrong to be happy with himself for such a foul incident and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to care. For their punishment their sheets and pillows were taken away from them.

“If you are going to behave like animals then you should have no problem sleeping like ones.” Orochimaru's words rang in his head while Sasuke laid in bed, his knees brought to his chest and arms hugging himself, trying to preserve his body heat. He couldn’t sleep but he didn’t mind as he remembered the events of the day. His knuckles, cheek and nose hurt but he felt light as if the fight help him let out the stress and energy that’s been building up inside. After the scolding they got from Orochimaru Suigetsu hadn’t come to find him and Karin like he normally would’ve done and Sasuke hoped that the boy won’t be so angry tomorrow.

He didn’t want to lose another friend. The memory of his friends made Sasuke sigh. They were an annoying bunch most of the time but he missed them, even if a part of him hated them now, blaming them for the fact that he was here. If they hadn’t given him that cigarette… Sasuke closed his eyes and tried to make those thoughts go away.

The next day, on his walk to the chores' list he wasn’t as invisible as he usually was. Most kids that passed him threw angry glares in his direction and one even pushed him while walking past. Sasuke wasn’t used to this. He had gotten painful jabs before, his friends calling him a nerd or a loser or ‘alter boy’ as Naruto liked to call him but their little group always found ways to make fun of one another. It was never something that serious and though hurtful, Sasuke knew that they weren’t actually trying to bully him. This type of behavior was eye opening and shocking. And the only way that Sasuke could answer back was with a glare as the adult man stood by the wall, keeping a close eye on all of them.

He could see Suigetsu and Karin in the crowd but the older boy still wasn’t looking at him. Sasuke sighed and found his name on the list. This time he was on kitchen duty, responsible for helping the one cooking, just like Suigetsu had helped him that time. Sasuke supposed that even if they weren’t allowed to eat, the staff members weren’t being punished and they weren’t going to cook for themselves. When he got to the kitchen he saw that the one who was cooking was the same boy who had attacked him yesterday. At first Sasuke had frozen, wearily looking at the boy, waiting to see if he was going to attack Sasuke but other than a glare he didn’t react to Sasuke in any way. His face was bruised and scratched just like Sasuke’s was and after a few seconds of glaring, the boy turned his attention back to the potatoes that he was peeling. These ones were completely black and looked like if they were squeezed even just the tiniest bit they would start squirting out juices.

They worked in silence, barely spearing each other a glance. The other boy was cutting up carrots while Sasuke was washing dishes that were used in the morning. He worked but his mind wandered elsewhere. Sasuke barely even noticed the cold water stinging his skin and joints. This past week has been difficult and these past few days have been nothing but hell to him. Suigetsu was right, saying that he grew up in a sheltered community. His father was a stern and disciplined man who wanted his family to be the best. Sasuke was raised under stressful circumstances, barely having any time for himself each day. He was under a lot of pressure from his parents and teachers and he had so much put on his shoulders, sometimes it seemed like too much for him to handle but now, he only wished to go back to those days.

His father was strict but he never treated Sasuke like a dirty animal. He was disciplined but he was never beaten at home to the point where his whole body would be left aching and bruised. Never once had he been given a split lip, a bloody nose or a black eye. And never once had he experienced such cruelty as he did when Orochimaru called him to his room. His friends mocked him at times but they all did that to one another, it was normal for them. They never bullied one another or got into fights. They never compared each other to animals. All of this was eye opening and absolutely horrible. He fought back tears each time he thought just how much he missed his old life, just how much he wanted to get out of here. He hated this place. He had hoped that his plan to run away would work but it didn’t and that left him feeling even worse. Suddenly he saw how the boy came closer and dropped the cutting board and the knife into the sink, together with all of the greens from the carrots.

“Sorry.” He said but his voice was full of sarcasm. He purposely didn’t throw the trash into the bin, leaving Sasuke with more work. Sasuke didn’t answer and took the knife, washing it under the cold stream. His life was hell and he wasn’t even sure when and if he was going to get out of here. The only way to leave is in a body bag. Suigetsu’s words rang in his head. Or broken. And Sasuke was broken, completely and utterly broken beyond repair. Dirty and disgusting, completely humiliated from falling so low that his body was used and he let it happen. He didn’t fight and Sasuke hated himself for that. He wished to go back home but how could he go back home now? After he’d been stained in such a way? How could he look his parents in the eyes?

At first he didn’t understand Kimimaru. He couldn’t understand why the boy chose hunger and death instead of fighting for his life, for a chance to be free again. But now as his eyes lingered on the blade of the knife he couldn’t help but believe that he understood the boy and his actions. He felt hopeless. He couldn’t run away, there was no way out and he was stuck here. But there was a way out, a way to stop this torture. Sasuke swallowed, his heart racing as he pulled up the sleeve of his jacket and pressed the tip of the knife to his right forearm. His breathing was deep and his eyes focused as he pressed the tip in and cut.

A thin red line appeared. It stung but he barely felt anything. Sasuke could practically hear his heart beating and his breathing quickened. He expected it to hurt more and Sasuke wondered if it was because of the adrenaline or because of the hunger and starvation that he was forced to endure, that it made him feel numb. He bit his bottom lip and pressed the knife back to the wound, cutting again. He blinked and he felt his hand begin to tremble but he didn’t care and repeated the motion again until he could see yellowish dots on the inside of his arm. It hurt and his hands were shaking, blood was flowing freely from the wound and he let it drip into the sink, mixing with the water and going down the drain like a waterfall from a horror movie.

Only, this wasn’t a movie, this was Sasuke’s life. Never once had he thought that he would end up like this. In the middle of the forest, in a hell camp, cutting his arm open. He pressed the knife back to the wound and cut. It was strange, he felt light headed and terrified of what he was doing, but at the same time he couldn’t stop. It felt addicting. As he cut the meat again it felt numb, that place didn’t hurt at all, but what stung like hell was the skin on top as the cuts he made didn’t align with the first one and left many open endings. Sasuke let out a breath and dropped the knife. He didn’t think that he could continue. He felt dizzy and his hands shook too much to hold the knife. The metal clattering in the sink got the other boy's attention.

“What the… the fuck are you doing?” He heard the boy mutter but Sasuke didn’t answer or react when the boy ran up to him. His eyes were wide and his face looked pale and panicked but Sasuke felt oddly calm. He didn’t react when the boy grabbed his arm, squeezing the wound, trying to put pressure on the wound and to stop the bleeding. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” He looked around the kitchen desperately trying to find some sort of cloth but the rag that was in there was old and worn and barely helped. It was strange, Sasuke was the one wounded and yet the other boy was the one panicking and what was even strange was the fact that he let the boy help him. He didn’t push him away or tell him to back off, just like the day when Orochimaru got on top of him. “Shit.” The boy cursed when the blood wouldn’t stop and kept pooling at his hands, dropping at their feet. Then the boy suddenly let go and ran out.

The next few moments were a blur, Sasuke still felt dizzy and his vision darkened in the corners for a few moments but he was still conscious. The terrified boy ran in with Kabuto close behind. The man’s eyes widened but he didn’t look even a fraction as scared as the boy was. Sasuke was taken to another building and led to a room that he recognized as the med bay. Kabuto sat him down and began stitching up his arm. The needle going in and out of his skin, slowly but surely closing up the wound, felt far more painful than the cutting had been. Sasuke figured that it was because the adrenaline was going away and he was calming down, which made the whole process so much more uncomfortable. Kabuto hadn’t said a word, too focused on his job, and a part of Sasuke wondered about what the man was thinking. Was he happy that Sasuke tried to do that? Or was he angry that he did it? Sasuke swallowed and hissed when he wiped over the stitches with a disinfectant wipe.

Then Kabuto turned his chair around and faced the desk. He put some things away, threw out the others and at that moment Sasuke heard footsteps in the hall, coming closer to them. The door opened and Orochimaru walked in, coming straight to him. The man looked pissed and without saying a word, without giving Sasuke the chance to even brace himself, he hit Sasuke so hard that it forced Sasuke’s head to turn in the other direction and he nearly fell off the chair that he was sitting on, too weak and too dizzy to keep himself steady.

“Get him another bandaid for his lip.” Orochimaru ordered Kabuto as the younger man turned back to face Sasuke with a roll of bandage in his hands. The man’s voice didn’t conseal just how displeased he was with this whole situation. Sasuke slowly sat up straighter, waiting to see if he was going to get hit again but another blow didn’t come and instead Sasuke felt Kabuto take his right arm in his hands. The touch felt strangely gentle, it was unfamiliar coming from the white-haired man and so was Orochimaru’s slap. So far the older man had never lifted his hand against the boy. He must’ve been especially angry.

“What were you thinking?” He hissed out while Sasuke kept his head obediently lowered, staring at the floor while his arm was getting bandaged. “Were you even thinking at all? What possessed you to do such a thing? Trying to kill yourself. What’s wrong with you?” Orochimaru took in a breath to steady himself. “I’m so disappointed.” Those words hit close to home and Sasuke felt sick at how displeased he was with himself for hearing them. “Just four nights ago I told you to take care of your beauty, that’s a valuable thing to have and dirtying your skin with scars will not help you. Trying to kill yourself won’t help you. I won’t let you die. So you better cling to your wretched life and survive because that’s the only thing that you will truly have for yourself here. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.” Sasuke didn’t raise his eyes as he muttered but the answer seemed to be enough.

“Get back to the kitchen and finish your work.”

Chapter 8

Summary:

Learning to survive and adapt.

Naruto walked towards the school entrance while light, small snowflakes slowly fell from the sky, coating the ground in a soft blanket of snow and in the corner of his eye he could see other students walking, driving, and being dropped off in the parking lot. He wasn’t paying much mind to them until he noticed a familiar face and long black hair. Haku got out of a black, old car and walked towards the school while the driver sped off out of the parking lot. Naruto followed the older boy with his eyes until he lost him in the crowd. When Naruto got to his locker he took off his orange and black winter jacket, shaking off what was left of the melting snow and he put the coat in his locker.

His mother had insisted that he wore a scarf but Naruto hadn’t listened and after walking outside he suffered the natural consequences of his decision as he was already starting to feel his throat hurting from the stinging cold outside, though he hoped that the pain would pass relatively quickly. Just as Naruto closed his locker door and turned to leave, he stopped and stared at the girl standing in front of him, with her hands behind her back.

“Hi.” Naruto smiled when he noticed that she was staring at him, a light pink blush coating her cheeks. He wondered if she wanted to get past him as she wasn’t moving.

“Hi, you’re Naruto right?” She spoke, her voice and face shining with confidence.

“Uhm, yeah.” Naruto brought his hand up and scratched the back of his neck. He began wondering if he had done something wrong and someone was looking for him but his thoughts were cut short as the girl spoke.

“I don’t know if you know me but I’m Alya, from class B. I’ve seen you around the cafeteria and we have art class together and I was wondering if you’d like to go somewhere together after school?” Naruto stared at her, confusion evident in his face. Then he let out a breathy chuckle and lowered his hand as he looked at her. He hadn’t expected this.

“Well, I-“ He wasn’t even sure what he should say. She looked sweet and he would’ve loved to get to know her but he couldn’t imagine himself being something more with her than friends. “Thanks but I’m meeting with my friends today.” He could see her smile drop. “Maybe another time?” He asked, though he didn’t want to approach her again. Naruto could see how disappointed she was as she walked off and he swallowed.

That was the first time something like this happened. It was new and pleasant. Maybe in other circumstances he would’ve loved to go out with her but right now she didn’t look like someone that he’d enjoy spending time with. She wasn’t ugly but she wasn’t exactly what would catch Naruto’s eye either. And though he wouldn’t mind hanging out with her, he couldn’t imagine himself bringing her to meet his friends. She simply wasn’t what Naruto wanted. The interaction occupied his mind for the whole day and when he got home it didn’t go away.

“Well what’d you expect?” Naruto glanced at his grandfather as the man handed him the Christmas lights. “You’re all grown up. I always told your parents that you’re going to be a heartbreaker when you grow up.” Naruto turned back to the window where he was securing the lights with duct tape. “And why’d you have to tell the girl no? Maybe you would’ve liked her company? And even if you wouldn’t have no one’s telling you to marry her. Just try it out.”

“Jiraiya, leave the boy alone.” Naruto heard his grandmother’s voice while the woman was taking out the Christmas tree ornaments out of the box.

“Alright, alright, you’re right. I’m sure the girls will be running at you, just ‘cause one’s lost doesn’t mean it’s all over. I mean look at you.” Naruto felt his cheeks grow hot as he blushed from his grandfather’s words. When the last of the lights were secured to the window frame Naruto got off the window sill and clapped his hands together, admiring his work.

“Done.” He smiled and looked at Tsunade, who was hanging up the ornaments on their large Christmas tree. “Do you need any help?”

“I’ll handle it.” The woman answered without looking back at him, her expression serious as she wondered where to put the golden ball in her hand. Naruto hummed and took a step back.

“Then I’ll be going.” That got the couple to turn and look at him.

“Won’t you wait until your father gets home?”

“What about dinner?” Naruto grinned at the questions.

“I’ll eat at Shikamaru’s. And my parents know that I’m going to his place.” Tsunade hummed and Naruto left the living room before any more questions were thrown at him. His friends had a similar reaction to Jiraiya and Naruto huffed as Kiba laughed at him.

“How could you reject a girl? When she came to you first on top of that. What are you gay?”

“I just didn’t like her that much.” Naruto began to defend himself. “And what’s with that insult? Even if I were, what'd be wrong with that?” Kiba’s grin faltered while he stared at Naruto.

“Are you?”

“No.” Naruto frowned. “I’ve never dated a boy.”

“You’ve never dated a girl either.” Shino spoke and Naruto stuttered, not sure of what to say but then Shikamaru came back into the living room and saved Naruto from having to explain himself.

“You guys wanna try?” He held up a plastic bag with a greenish brown mass inside.

“The hell’s that?” Kiba asked, eyeing the bag in Shikamaru’s hand.

“What do you think?” Shikamaru asked and sat down in an armchair, glancing at the bags of snacks that Choji brought. “Pot.” He answered and looked back at his friends.

“Where’d you get it from?” Naruto wondered out loud and the boy in front of him smirked.

“A dude from my algebra class. So do you guys want to try?”

“Fuck yeah.” Naruto grinned and scooted closer to the edge of the couch. “I guess being in advanced math ain’t so bad after all.” Shikamaru hummed and took out a small metal box out of his pocket.

“Yeah… what was that about you being gay, Naruto?” Shikamaru took out a small piece of paper and didn’t look up at Naruto as the blond boy blushed.

“Just Kiba and Shino being idiots.” Shikamaru smirked.

“Bit difficult to believe you’re not with the way you acted like an obsessed ex with Sasuke.”

“What?” Naruto heard Kiba snicker beside him.

“Yeah. The first few months you wouldn’t even shut up about the guy.”

“Can you guys shut up?” Naruto glared at the two brunettes. “He was our friend and he just disappeared. Of course I was in shock. I was pissed alright. Still am.” Naruto muttered as he watched Shikamaru roll the joint.

When Sasuke got back to the kitchen the boy wasn’t glaring at him but rather, looking at him with what looked like pity and worry in his eyes. That angered him and Sasuke wasn’t sure if he was angry at himself for failing or if he was angry at this boy for pitying him. He wanted someone to feel sorry for him, to tell him how unfair it was that he was sent here but not like this, not for this reason. Sasuke sighed and walked over to the sink. All of the dirty dishes were washed and the trash was thrown out. There wasn’t even a drop of blood on the sink or on the floor.

“I-“ Sasuke looked up when the boy spoke. “I cleaned up. There’s not much left to do. You could go rest.”

“What about dinner?” Sasuke glanced at the pots on the stove.

“It's fine. I’ve got everything under control. Really, you can go rest. If anyone comes to check on us I’ll tell ‘em you went to the bathroom.” Sasuke stared at the boy for a few long seconds and agreed to leave. He was tired and still felt faint, he was glad that he didn’t have to work but the way the boy was talking to him… as if he were some dainty princess that would fall apart from a sterner look or a meaner word. Sasuke didn’t like it. He didn’t like how that boy treated him as if he were weak, his attitude completely different from how he treated Sasuke yesterday.

Sasuke left the canteen and he didn’t even think as he walked. He wanted to go and lay down, sit down somewhere and rest, digest everything that happened in the last hour. He didn’t even notice how he came to the shed. Sasuke sat down on the ground, ignoring the cold and wetness as it seeped through his pants. This wasn’t the most comfortable place to sit but he didn’t want to go to his room, the thought made him feel claustrophobic and Sasuke let his head rest against the hard wood behind him as he sighed.

“Can you hear me?” Sasuke spoke, not expecting to hear an answer back. “Your name's Jugo, right?” His voice was soft and quiet, he got used to speaking that way from the time he spent here, scared that the adults might hear him if he said anything too loudly. “I’m Sasuke.” He got quiet and waited a few seconds after each second, hoping that maybe Jugo would answer but he was met with silence. “I’m not sure if you’ve heard but it’s kind of my fault no one’s getting to eat now. Are you getting your food?” He asked, wondering if Jugo was punished too, which seemed strange because the boy was already getting punished while he was sitting in this shed.

“No.” A low voice came from behind the wall. The boy coughed, trying to clear his throat. It sounded like he hadn’t talked to anyone in a long time. Sasuke licked his lips and swallowed.

“I’m sorry.” Sasuke lowered his head, his eyes wide from the surprise at receiving an answer. “I tried to run away and they caught me. I couldn’t fight the man off.” Jugo didn’t say anything and Sasuke wasn’t sure why but he wanted to continue. “I heard you punched a staff member.” A smile tugged at the corners of Sasuke’s lips as he remembered Suigetsu’s words. “I wish I was strong like you. I wish I could fight. I didn’t fight when Orochimaru took me,“ Sasuke’s voice got quieter as he remembered, it felt utterly humiliating and shameful to admit that such a thing even happened to him but a part of him believed that Jugo won’t judge him. The other boy’s friend had the same fate after all and he hoped that his honesty would encourage Jugo to open up. “I didn’t fight to stay alive and I didn’t even fight when I wished to die… I feel so helpless. So weak.” Sasuke let his head rest against the wood and waited.

“No you don’t.” Sasuke hummed but he wasn’t sure if Jugo heard him. “You don’t want to be like me. I’m sick.”

“What Do you mean?” Jugo didn’t answer immediately, a few seconds passed in silence and Sasuke was beginning to think he might not get an answer at all but the boy behind the wall spoke.

“I don’t remember what my psychiatrist called it. But I’m sick. There’s something wrong with my head.”

“I don’t think anyone’s right in the head after being sent to this camp.” Sasuke joked, something he rarely ever did and it felt strange to say those words. He wondered if he didn’t cross a line but Jugos answer came faster than before and he took it as a win.

“Whatever’s wrong with me was wrong with me long before I was sent here. The only reason why I’m here and not still in juvie is because my psychiatrist managed to convince the judge that I’m sick.” Sasuke hummed.

“But you’re strong. And that sure beats being weak in a place like this.”

“What’s the strength good for if I can’t control it?” Sasuke glanced back at the wall, as if he could see the boy that he was talking too and kept quiet, allowing him to speak whenever he was ready. “I’m…” Jugo cut himself off. He was struggling to find the appropriate words but Sasuke didn’t push or rush him. “Sometimes the littlest things can put me off. Everything can be fine one moment and the next… I can’t even control myself. I get so angry and I just lose control. When I calm down, most of the time something’s broken and someone’s hurt.”

“It just happens like that? In a second?” Sasuke asked when Jugo didn’t say anything else.

“Well, not exactly.” The boy got quiet as he seemed to think. “My heart starts beating real fast, I get sweaty, my chest feels tight and then I get angry. Then these horrible thoughts overcome me and I just… lose control.” Sasuke sat quietly, letting the information sink in when he heard someone approaching him. He looked up and saw a familiar face.

“Yo.” The white-haired boy greeted him and sat down beside him. Both of them sat quietly for a moment and then he heard Suigetsu sigh. “Heard what happened.” Sasuke looked up at the boy but Suigetsu wasn’t facing him.

“Does Karin know?” The boy beside him shrugged.

“Don’t know where she’s at. Ariko told me.” Ariko? Must be the boy who started a fight with them yesterday and who Sasuke was put together in the kitchen with. “We’re in the same room.” Suigetsu explained, as if reading Sasuke’s thoughts. And both of them fell into silence. It was strange, usually it was so easy talking with Suigetsu but this time Sasuke felt so lost. He didn’t know what to say and he subconsciously put his left hand on his right arm, feeling the bandages underneath his jacket. “Kabuto stitched you up?” Sasuke hummed in answer. “If the look on Ariko’s face wouldn’t ’ve been enough, that means it must’ve been pretty bad if Kabuto took the med kit out.” Sasuke kept his eyes on the ground and stayed quiet.

“They don’t usually bother if you’re sick or injured. Guess Orochimaru likes you a lot.” Sasuke wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He got medical attention, his wound was cleaned and stitched up but all of that just because Orochimaru liked him? “I fucked up my shoulder some time ago.” Suigetsu changed the topic which made Sasuke glance at the boy, appreciatively. “Was carrying potato bags, threw one over my shoulder and… crack. No one cared ‘course. Shoulder’s still messed up.” Suigetsu put his hand on his right shoulder as if to prove his point. “Still hurts from time to time.”

“You know, this whole time from yesterday I was thinking.” Suigetsu continued. “And it’s not your fault.” Sasuke looked up at the boy, his eyes wide, not by much but enough to notice and Suigetsu smiled. His expression seemed calm which made Sasuke feel a sense of calmness within himself too.

“But I was the one who had the idea to run.”

“Yeah but I agreed to help an’ I didn’t do shit.” Suigetsu sighed and let his head fall against the wood. “I should’ve helped you think of a better plan. It wasn’t your fault. It was a shitty plan an’ that’s why it didn’t work. We didn’t think this through so I’m to blame too.” Sasuke looked down at the ground, feeling like a weight was lifted off his shoulders at hearing Suigetsu talking to him like he did before. He wasn’t angry and that made Sasuke feel the happiest he’s been in days. Sasuke looked up at the boy, already thinking of what to say when Suigetsu shushed him. Sasuke let his lips fall closed and followed Suigetsu’s gaze. Jurobu was coming towards them.

He felt nervous seeing the big man approach and even more nervous when he was told that Orochimaru wanted to see him. Sasuke threw a scared glance at Suigetsu but neither of the boys said anything as Sasuke walked off with the adult man, leaving Suigetsu sitting on the ground. On the way to the building where Orochimaru resided countless ideas swam through Sasuke’s mind. Was he going to be punished for hurting himself? Was Orochimaru going to yell at him again? But one idea, which felt closest to reality, kept him on edge the most. He walked over to Orochimaru’s bedroom door and knocked, waiting to be let in. This time the man was sitting on the edge of his bed, a few papers in his hands.

“Come here, dear.” Orochimaru motioned to the space beside him and Sasuke obeyed, keeping an eye on Orochimaru’s every move as the man put the papers on top of his bedside table and turned to face Sasuke. They looked like some sort of legal documents or a contract but Sasuke didn’t manage to get a close enough look. The man seemed calm and his tone of voice didn’t hold any previous anger. “Your parents were informed of what happened.” Sasuke’s eyes widened. His parents? Did that mean? They won’t allow him to stay here any longer, they couldn’t possibly allow something like that now that they knew just how much he was suffering here. Orochimaru stood up from the bed, took the papers and walked over to the wardrobe.

“Does that-“ Sasuke began but cut himself off. Though, when Orochimaru didn’t reprimand or scold him he swallowed and hesitantly continued. “What did they say?”

“They were disappointed. And so was I.” Orochimaru put the papers inside of the wardrobe and walked back over to the bed. He stood in front of the boy and gently pet Sasuke’s hair away from his face. “I believed you to be stronger than that.” Sasuke kept his eyes on the wooden floor.

 

Everything hurt. His whole body ached, his muscles were sore, his cuts stung and the dull pain didn’t go away from his bruises. And once again he wasn’t sure if he’ll be able to walk or sit properly for a few days. This time he wasn’t even granted the blissful chance of unconsciousness and he stayed awake the whole time. He felt and heard everything. Every grunt, every disgustingly sweet word, every painful stab of the man’s cock inside of him. He won’t be surprised if he bled again.

He sat in a tub, different from the one he woke up in the first time this happened. This one was in a normal bathroom and it was filled with hot water, steam slowly rising and floating to the ceiling. Orochimaru pressed a warm, clean rag to his cheek, gently wiping away the dirt that had gathered there from the countless times he was thrown to the ground. The hot water soothed his pain and the warm cloth felt heavenly, this was the nicest he’s felt since he got here and a traitorous part of Sasuke was making him lean into the touch. He craved the gentleness and enjoyed the cruel comfort of belonging to someone, of being taken care of. He wanted to close his eyes, enjoy this feeling and rest. He wanted to calm down from the adrenaline that never seemed to stop flowing and allow himself not to be alert and on edge. Orochimaru pressed the cloth in between his eyebrows, Sasuke closed his eyes and sighed, relishing the moment.

When Sasuke was first taken to Orochimaru’s private bathroom, he saw his reflection in the mirror, and he didn’t recognize himself in the first few moments. He saw a boy that looked like the kids he saw on his first day here. Messy, dirty hair, dirty skin and clothes and he looked sick. Bruises and eye bags underneath his eyes. He looked… sunken, as if all of his life had been drained out of his body. And only when he realized that he was standing in front of the mirror and that was supposed to be his reflection staring back at him did he understand how much he changed in what seemed like no time at all.

When he was let out of the building, the sky was already dark. Sasuke walked through the field, the cold stung his face but he wasn’t bothered by it. The emptiness and cramping in his stomach kept his mind occupied from the other discomforts. And once again he found himself sitting by the shed.

“Why don’t you come out?” He didn’t get an immediate answer. Sasuke wasn’t even sure if Jugo was awake but he sat there, waiting patiently.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Sasuke stared at his fingers that were already stiff from the cold.

“Everybody in here hurts one another.” This place and the people in here are dark and rotten, just like the potatoes they eat. This camp isn’t good, the world isn’t good. It’s full of rotten people who will hurt you just because they can.

“It doesn’t have to be that way. At least… with me in here there’s one person less, who might hurt another.” Sasuke swallowed. How selfless did the other boy have to be to exchange his freedom for the sake of others. It was surprising, almost unreal to believe that there was someone good in this hell hole. But then Sasuke heard footsteps approaching, he raised his head and realized that Jugo wasn’t the only one. Suigetsu helped him countless times, Sasuke refused to insult Karin, Karin comforted and never once looked at him with disdain or judgment. Such small actions and yet they meant so much for the other person. Even in a place like this Sasuke could see good shine through the cracks. But just like Suigetsu had said before, you have to find these people, latch on and never let go because it’s so difficult to find them. Because the amount of people who will help you is a lot less than the amount who will hurt you.

“Knew I’d find ya here.” Suigetsu sat down beside him. “Got prettied up? Only pets get that privilege.” Suigetsu grinned as he looked Sasuke up and down. “Well, good for you.” The white haired boy rested his head against the wooden wall behind him. “The only shower we might get, if we’re lucky, is a hose down behind that building.” Sasuke followed his eyes and looked at the building where they slept. “And it ain’t something you wanna do in winter.” Sasuke swallowed.

“The things I had to do for this shower aren’t something I want either.” Sasuke could see Suigetsu grin, though the expression on his face looked sympathetic but then Sasuke thought over the boy’s words and his eyes widened. “It’s winter?” Had he been in here for so long? It must’ve been two weeks at the least but somehow he hadn’t even realized that it meant that it was now winter. It felt as if his life was put on pause here and he didn’t realize that everything was moving forward, time hadn’t stopped and winter had rolled around.

“I‘m guessing.” Suigetsu shrugged. “The winds ‘ve been pretty cold. It might bring snow.” Sasuke looked down at the dark ground underneath him.

“The holidays will be here soon.” Suigetsu hummed and all that swam in Sasuke’s head was the hope that his parents will take him home for Christmas. They won’t leave him here during Christmas, will they? His grandpa will be sad if he won’t attend the family gathering. But then, the hope died down as he remembered how he cried, begged, and how Orochimaru told them that he tried to kill himself and they still didn’t come to get him. Sasuke squeezed his hands into fists. They didn’t care.

“You’ve changed.” Sasuke looked up at the older boy.

“What do you mean?”

“You had religion written all over you when you first came here.” Suigetsu didn’t look down at him while speaking. “Now you don’t pray before eating.”

“We haven’t really had any food to eat.”

“Before that.” Suigetsu turned his head towards the raven-haired boy. “You stopped praying before we were punished.” Sasuke was quiet for a long second and then he looked down. He wondered if Jugo could hear them.

“I’d like to see someone who wouldn’t change after being sent here.” Sasuke could hear Suigetsu let out a breathy chuckle.

“Don’t believe in God anymore?” Sasuke swallowed.

“Is God even real?” He heard the boy snort but didn’t turn to look at him.

“Isn’t believing in him supposed to be your whole thing?”

“Did you get dinner?” Sasuke asked, ignoring Suigetsu’s previous question. Suigetsu noticed the shift in conversation but didn’t fight it and answered.

“No.” So Orochimaru decided to prolong the punishment. Sasuke thought and then got an idea.

“Where’s Karin’s room?”

The three of them quietly walked through the building. Sasuke could hear the adult man walking down to the lower floor, and once he was far enough the three of them snuck out. They canteen was unlocked and they made their way in the dark, skillfully dodging all of the tables. Suigetsu found the cabinet with the ration bars that they sometimes got for breakfast. The white-haired boy and Karin took one each while Sasuke took two. Karin didn’t say anything and opened her bar, immediately taking a bite, while Suigetsu fixed him with a look, though Sasuke couldn’t see his expression.

“There’s a bigger chance that Kabuto ‘ll notice if we take more.” He said, gesturing to the two packets in Sasuke’s hands.

“One’s for Jugo.” Karin glanced at him while Suigetsu kept quiet. Sasuke didn’t know what the other two kids were thinking as they made their way through the field. They didn’t look very excited while walking to the shed but they didn’t object to Sasuke’s wish and the raven-haired boy walked first, taking each step with confidence. When they got closer to the shed, Sasuke stood in front of the door for a few seconds, trying to make out a way he could give Jugo the food, in the dark.

“Are you asleep?” Sasuke asked and when he didn’t get an answer longer than usual he tried again. “Jugo?” He asked, louder this time and he could see Suigetsu shift uncomfortably in the corner of his eye.

“Sasuke?” He heard a groggy voice from behind the door, as if the boy just woke up from sleep.

“I brought you something to eat. How do you get your food normally?” Sasuke heard stumbling behind the door and he realized that Jugo got up and walked closer to them.

“There’s a space at the bottom of the door. Push it through there.” Sasuke glanced to the ground, trying to make something out in the dark. He crouched down and touched the door with his left hand. The cold metal stung his fingertips as he felt around, then a looser piece of metal moved underneath his touch. Sasuke pushed it forward and put his right hand in. He felt Jugo’s hand on his as the boy took the protein bar. His palm was large and cold. Sasuke let go of the packet and then pulled his hands out. He stood up, looked at Suigetsu while the white-haired boy had a disapproving look on his face.

“Thank you.” Sasuke heard from behind the metal door and let the corners of his lips curl up in a smile.

“We should go.” Suigetsu muttered beside him. “The staff ‘ll be checking the rooms again soon. They’ll be watching you more frequently now after your attempt.” Sasuke stayed quiet as he kept looking at the door. “Orochimaru won’t risk his pet hurting himself again.”

The next morning when everyone was making their way to the canteen for breakfast Kabuto stopped them from entering. Sasuke wondered if Orochimaru decided to prolong their punishment but that wouldn’t have explained the reason why Kabuto ordered them to stand in a line in front of him.

“It looks like some of you don’t know what self control or honesty is. As it turns out, instead of taking their punishment like you’re supposed to, someone stole some of the ration bars from the kitchen.” Sasuke felt his eyes widen as cold sweat gathered at his forehead. “Such behavior is completely unacceptable and requires an appropriate punishment.” Sasuke glanced at Suigetsu, the white-haired boy looked calm, as if this whole situation had nothing to do with him. Kabuto walked to the other end of the line and without looking at him, Suigetsu whispered:

“Control your emotions.” Sasuke swallowed and looked down at the ground. How was he supposed to do that when Kabuto found out and now was going around looking at each kid like a suspect. But then again… how would Kabuto know that it was them. They didn’t leave any evidence and without any evidence no one could pin the blame on them. Kabuto walked past them and Sasuke glanced up at the man, keeping his face carefully relaxed and neutral. Kabuto furrowed his brows as he walked past him and Karin and then stopped. Karin had her head down, looking straight at the ground and she wasn’t raising her eyes to meet Kabuto. Sasuke swallowed and hoped that the girl wouldn't look guilty in the man’s eyes.

“Are you cold?” Sasuke looked up and saw that Kabuto wasn’t talking to Karin but to a girl next to her and he felt relief wash over him. The blond-haired girl lowered her head even more and nodded. Her jacket seemed puffier than theirs and for a second Sasuke wondered if it was new. Kabuto reached out, making the girl flinch, and grabbed the bottom of the puffy jacket. Sasuke heard plastic wrinkling and Kabuto grinned. The man stuck his hands into her pockets and unceremoniously emptied them, bringing to light a bunch of protein bars. “And here’s our thief.”

Sasuke swallowed while the girl let out a pitiful sound, that seemed like a whine and a hiccup. When the five plastic packets were in Kabuto’s hands Sasuke felt like he could breathe easier. But then the realization that everyone could get punished for this dawned on him and Sasuke watched Kabuto’s every move with caution, waiting to see what the man was going to do.

“Well, I can’t just let this go. Not only did you break a few rules but you also blatantly ignored the master’s punishment that was put on you. That’s not good.” Kabuto shook his head. “Not good at all. What should I do? Hm?”

“Punish me?” The girl asked hesitantly, her voice small, like a mouse’s and Kabuto hummed.

“Well I can’t punish only you. No one gets to eat until breakfast tomorrow.” Sasuke was sure that if this were to happen in any other situation all of the kids would’ve begun sighing and groaning but everyone kept quiet here. No one dared to show how displeased they were.

“He just had to make a public example…” Karin muttered while she walked next to Sasuke, keeping close to his side.

“If everyone gets punished then no one dares to rebel…” Suigetsu muttered as he scratched the back of his head. “An’ he’s making everyone turn on her. No alliances - no hope - no rebellion.” Suigetsu explained to the two younger kids.

“So we just have to stick together.” Suigetsu hummed and looked at Sasuke. “We have to stick together. It’s the only way to survive.” They walked a few steps forward but then Sasuke began to slow until he completely stopped, making Suigetsu and Karin stop and look back at him, confusion evident on their faces. “Pets get privileges.” The two of them stared at him in confusion.

“Yeah.” Suigetsu answered, his tone of voice questioning.

“I’ll be back.” Sasuke took a step back.

“Where are you going?” Karin furrowed her eyebrows. “We have to go get our chores done.”

“You guys go ahead, I’ll be back.” Sasuke turned on his heel and walked off in the other direction, leaving his friends behind him. He walked inside of the warmer building and went down the familiar corridor. He had been called here any times and walking here of his own free will felt strange. He wasn’t sure what to expect or what was going to happen and he braced himself for anything. Sasuke took in a deep breath, trying to stop his heart from beating so fast but it didn’t work, and he knocked on the wooden door. He received an answer a moment later and Sasuke stepped inside of the room.

Orochimaru was sitting by his desk, a pile of documents in front of him. The man hadn’t been expecting to see him but there was no hint of surprise on Orochimaru’s face. Sasuke swallowed and tried putting on a brave face but it provided to be more difficult than when he was facing Kabuto. Orochimaru could always read his every micro expression and that made him nervous. And the man’s eyes on him weren’t making it any easier. Whenever this man or any of the staff looked at him, Sasuke always felt like he was something less in their eyes. Something that didn’t deserve the respect and compassion that every person deserved.

“Did you want something, my dear?” Sasuke was brought back to reality when Orochimaru spoke and he let out a breath, taking a step towards Orochimaru.

“Yes… sir.” Orochimaru raised a brow when Sasuke didn’t continue.

“Go on then.”

“I…” He looked down in habit but then Sasuke realized what he was doing and understood that he shouldn’t be doing that if he wanted to get his wishes taken seriously. So Sasuke raised his eyes and looked the man in the face. “I wanted to tell you that Kabuto prolonged the punishment.”

“I know. Only it wasn’t prolonged. This is a new punishment.” Orochimaru put down his pen and turned on his chair to face Sasuke completely.

“Yes and I was wondering- I wanted to ask you,” Sasuke corrected himself. “Since it wasn’t me or anyone else, why aren’t we allowed to eat?” Orochimaru hummed.

“Are you hungry, my dear?”

“Yes, sir.” Sasuke nodded his head.

“But tell me this, yes you did not do anything to be punished but did you do something to deserve food?” Sasuke wasn’t sure of what to answer.

“We’re… I’m doing my chores and I’ve been listening to the staff these past few days.”

“That is what you must do. It is not something good that will warrant you food.” Sasuke furrowed his brows, a frown appeared on his face and he looked down at the ground.

“Then… What can I do to earn something?”

“Come here, my dear.” Sasuke looked up and saw Orochimaru motioning for him to come closer. He was reluctant at first even if he knew that this was going to happen if he wanted to get something. Sasuke was slow but he didn’t stop as he came closer and kneeled in between the man’s spread legs. Orochimaru gently cupped his cheek and cooed. “Such a terribly sad face.”

 

Sasuke sat by the shed. The strange taste was still in his mouth but he learned to ignore it while he was talking with Jugo. When he heard someone approaching, he knew that it was Suigetsu before he even looked up, the sound of the older boy’s footsteps already familiar to him. Suigetsu came closer and stood in front of him, not sitting down like he normally did.

“You didn’t do your chores. Kabuto ‘ll be pissed.”

“Orochimaru will excuse me.” Suigetsu hummed and looked to the side, where a few kids were taking out bags of food from a truck. “We’re allowed to eat dinner tonight.”

“Everyone’s?” Suigetsu looked down at the raven-haired boy, confusion evident on his face.

“Just us four.”

“Four?” Suigetsu frowned but then realized who Sasuke was talking about and sighed. “You’ve been hanging around him an awful lot lately. I know that I told you to find someone big and strong but this ain’t what I meant. I ‘on’t know if I didn’t tell you, you forgot or you’re just plain stupid but this guy killed someone. I don’t think it’s smart to be around him.” Sasuke didn’t answer and kept his eyes on the ground. The sun had already begun to set and everything around them was getting darker by the minute. “I mean, he’s a fucking murdered.” Then Sasuke heard shuffling behind the wall, as if someone stumbled or fell.

“I’m not.” Sasuke heard Jugo’s voice. It sounded strained and louder than how he normally spoke. It wasn’t a surprise he heard them, Suigetsu wasn’t trying to hide from Jugo what he was saying. The white-haired boy stared at the shed.

“Oh you’re not? Then what would you call taking someone’s life? Sending someone to meet God? So you’re what, God’s messenger boy?”

“I’m not.” Sasuke tensed at the sound of Jugo’s voice. He sounded nothing like he normally did. “It was… and accident-“

“An accident? Well yeah, we all make mistakes, we’ve all accidentally killed someone, there ain’t nothing to be ashamed of.” Sasuke couldn’t recognize Suigetsu’s voice either. The boy sounded nothing like he normally did whenever he spoke to Sasuke. “C’mon, Sas, stop freezing your ass off and let’s go.”

Sasuke wasn’t sure what happened next. It was hard to recall every moment as it all happened so quickly but what he did remember was another sound from the shed, a pained yell, or a loud grunt and in the next moment, the metal door came flying off its hinges. It landed on the ground with a loud thud and the two kids outside stared in horror and shock.

“I didn’t do it!” The yell got their attention, they turned and saw Jugo walking out of the shed. He was tall, his ginger hair was long and matted and his eyes looked crazed. His pupils were blown wide and the expression on his face looked manic. “It wasn’t my fault that he kept saying that stupid shit! He got what he deserved when I bashed his skull in. Now I’ll fucking kill you!” Sasuke’s eyes widened when he saw Jugo punch Suigetsu. The blow was so quick that the white-haired boy barely had time to react and dodge it. Sasuke physically cringed when he heard the dull sound of Jugo’s fist colliding with Suigetsu’s jaw and the white-haired boy fell to the ground from the force.

“Hey, hey, calm down, dude…” Suigetsu tried to reason, while he brought his hand to his split lip. It was the first time Sasuke saw Suigetsu fall like that and in the face of danger Sasuke moved. Just as Jugo brought his arm back to take another swing Sasuke ran up to them, getting ready to put himself in front of the danger to protect his friend.

“Jugo don’t! Stop it!” Sasuke put his hand up, like a terrified child trying to stop what was scaring him in the only way that he could. Sasuke stared at Jugo’s eyes, desperately hoping that the older boy would snap out of it and in some miracle Jugo’s eyes lost a bit of the rage that was overtaking him. The older boy lowered his fist and stared at Sasuke while panting. He frowned and looked down where he saw Suigetsu still sitting on the ground, staring at Jugo, bracing himself for another blow. Sasuke lowered his arm, watching Jugo while the other boy’s expression was overtaken by sorrow. The older boy took a step back and let out a pitiful breath as he dropped to sit on the ground and put his hands on his head.

Logically Sasuke knew that the cause of Jugo’s quick calmness was most likely because the boy had been starved, just like everyone else, and his body used up all of the energy and adrenaline already, no longer supplying him with the ability to move and hurt someone. But a part of Sasuke hoped that it was because the older boy calmed down because he managed to help him calm down. Sasuke saw as Suigetsu got up, and stood behind Sasuke, reluctantly waiting to see what Jugo was going to do next.

“I’m sorry.” The oldest boy muttered, his voice back to a whisper. “I didn’t want to. I have this disease… I couldn’t control it.” Suigetsu sighed and turned away.

“Fucking IED.” The white-haired boy muttered while two staff members ran up to them. They must’ve heard the commotion and came to see what had happened. They stopped in their tracks and stared, their gazes going from the large boy sitting on the ground to the metal door and then back again at Jugo.

“Jugo,” Sasuke whispered, not caring that the two adults heard him talking. The older boy looked up at him, his eyes held tiredness and hope in them. And Sasuke wondered if from this moment on it meant that someone new was going to join his little group.

Sasuke sat on the floor, his head resting on the side of the man’s thigh, while Orochimaru slowly ran his fingers through his hair. Sasuke stared at the wall, his eyes unseeing. Orochimaru had called him to ask him about the latest incident with Jugo and chuckled, muttering that whenever there was trouble Sasuke was always present. Sasuke swallowed and licked his lips before speaking.

“Could you arrange that Jugo, Suigetsu and Karin would be in the same room as me?” The hand in his hair stopped. Sasuke was expecting the man to turn the idea down immediately but he was taken by surprise when he didn’t get a negative answer.

“We’ll see, my dear.” Sasuke focused, suddenly aware of his surroundings and looked up at Orochimaru. The man was by his desk, organizing some of the papers there.

“But I’ve been good.” Orochimaru didn’t answer. Instead, the man looked down at Sasuke and smiled, resuming his petting. The smile no longer looked as calming or as welcoming as it did the first time Sasuke saw him and the boy could only lower his gaze, waiting and hoping that his wishes would be granted.

The next day the three kids were already carrying their blankets to Sasuke’s room. Sasuke wasn’t sure in which rooms the kids that slept in these beds were put in but he didn’t care. He barely had the energy to make his bed, much less worry about strangers.

“Rough night?” Sasuke looked up as Suigetsu asked him. He didn’t answer but he heard Jugo stop making the bed next to this and stare at Suigetsu while Karin landed a swift punch to the white-haired boy’s shoulder. “Fucking whore.” Suigetsu muttered as he rubbed the spot and put the pillow back in its place. Suigetsu sat down on his new bed and looked at each person in front of him. “What a group.” He muttered, making the others glance at him. “A murderer,” Suigetsu looked at Jugo and got up from the bed. “A prostitute.”

“A crackhead.” Karin cut him off but the older boy paid her no mind.

“And the worst criminal of all.” Suigetsu sat down next to Sasuke. “A smoker. Who didn’t even finish a whole cigarette.” Suigetsu began to chuckle. “One single puff.” Sasuke didn’t answer him, instead, he stared at the floor but when he spoke the white-haired boy quieted down, listening to what he had to say.

“We’ll get out of here.” He heard Suigetsu sigh but it sounded like a tired breath, which didn’t make the older boy seem annoyed.

“Orochimaru won’t let us out, as long as he’s alive.”

“I know.” Sasuke muttered and then looked up, all three of his friends looked worried. “Do you want to get out?” Karin fiddled with the sheet in her hand as she looked to the side.

“I used to wish for it.” The girl muttered and put her blanket down on her bed. “I used to dream of freedom every night after I got here. Though, not so much lately.“ When she didn’t continue Jugo surprised the three younger kids and spoke.

“I never thought about it like that. I mean,” Jugo sighed, trying to form his thoughts into coherent sentences. “For as long as I can remember, I was in an orphanage. Technically, I think you could call it a cage but I never viewed it as one. I felt pretty free then I was adopted and, well it was pretty similar but then… an accident happened and I was sent to juvie. That was a real cage.” Jugo didn’t look at them while he spoke. “And if that weren’t enough my mind put me in a cage too. Then I came here but it didn’t go away. I put myself in a cage and I didn’t want to leave. The door was open. I just… didn’t want to. Until I met you.” Jugo looked up at Sasuke but then as if realizing all of the things that he said, he looked down and looked like he had begun to regret it.

“The doors were open.” Suigetsu muttered as he looked at Jugo. “And yet you ripped the metal door from its hinges instead of opening it.“ Jugo raised his eyes, looking like he was about to glare but Suigetsu turned away before he caught the oldest boy’s expression. “But he’s right.” The white-haired boy looked at Sasuke. “Sometimes the situation that our mind puts us in becomes real, even when reality isn’t like that. It’s hard.” Suigetsu shrugged. “When something that you believe in becomes real, it gets hard to tell what’s really real and what ain’t. You get me?” Sasuke hummed.

“But I’ll help you.” Jugo’s voice got their attention again. “Whatever you chose to do, Sasuke, I will be on your side. Always.”

“Yeah.” Suigetsu sighed. “Me too.”

“Me three.” Karin looked at Sasuke with determination shining in her eyes and the raven-haired boy felt a smile tugging at his lips. But then their little moment was cut short when the bedroom door opened and a woman looked in.

“It’s time for school.”

When they walked Sasuke didn’t miss the glances both from staff and the kids that were thrown his way. Nor didn’t he notice the way some seemed to make way and get out of his path. When they sat down and he questioned Suigetsu, if the boy noticed it too, he rolled his eyes.

“Think it has something to do with the big boy walking behind you.” Suigetsu motioned to Jugo and got to his work. School passed relatively quickly and without any incidents. They sat down in a half circle and Orochimaru took a few opened envelopes.

“This one’s for you, my dear.” He held the letter out to Sasuke but the boy didn’t move to take it.

“I don’t want to read it.” He had a hunch from who it might be and he didn’t care what they had to say. He was angry at his parents, at his friends, at the staff here and at the whole world and if refusing to read a letter was going to allow him to feel at least a tiny bit of rebellion then he was going to do it.

Notes:

I apologize if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes, I didn’t proof-read this chapter before posting. I’ve been pretty tired these past few days and it’s been difficult to write but I really wanted to stay on schedule.

Even though I have the whole story and each chapter planned out, sitting down and actually writing has been difficult and exhausting this week, so I’ll be taking a break as I really enjoy this story and don’t want to burn out. I’m not sure for how long it’ll last but I know that the next chapter will be uploaded next year.

So with this, I want to wish you all a merry Christmas, a happy new year, stay safe, stay healthy and happy holidays! ❤️

Chapter 9

Summary:

Time changes everything

Naruto stretched his arms above his head and let out a deep sigh. Christmas was just around the corner, it was the last week of school before the holidays would start and it looked like the teachers were ganging up on them. Every one of them had been handing out tests and quizzes almost every day and the amount of homework they were assigned didn’t grow smaller. After the warning lecture he got from his parents, Naruto began trying to do his homework on his own. Kakashi seemed to have a keener eye than his middle school teacher, Iruka, and the man noticed his cheating quickly enough. Which didn’t leave Naruto any choice other than to work. That’s why he stayed up until 3 am last night and now, he felt completely out of it as the lack of sleep was getting to him. Kiba didn’t look any better but by Naruto’s knowledge the brown-haired boy went to sleep half-past midnight, which was already a few more hours of sleep than Naruto got.

Everyone sat in their usual seats and while most of the class was still talking, Naruto was fighting the urge to close his eyes and rest for a few minutes. The classroom door opened and Kakashi walked in. Strange. He’s only 5 minutes late today. Naruto thought and watched the man walk towards his desk with a lazy expression on his face with a black-haired boy following behind him. Naruto’s brows furrowed. Was the boy from another class? Did he need something? The strange boy stood in front of them all, his black eyes looking each of them over while Kakashi sat behind his desk.

“We’ve got a new student today.” Kakashi spoke in his usual, fake, happy tone of voice but his relaxed expression stayed the same. By this point Naruto learned to read the man’s voice and eyes to know what he was truly feeling, though it was still difficult to really understand. “And since we also have an unfinished new lesson, let’s make the introduction quick. To make it easier, I’ll go first. My name is Kakashi Hatake, I will be your english and homeroom teacher. I like reading and kids who are honest and hardworking.” Naruto cringed, wondering if that was aimed at him. “And I don't like unmotivated kids. Your turn.” The boy pursed his lips and hummed while he thought.

“My name is Sai Root. I like painting and… I’d say I don’t like kiwis.” The boy nodded his head as if agreeing to what he just said. He didn’t add anything else, following Kakashi’s example, and gave a limited amount of information, just like he was told.

“Good. There’s an empty seat in the back, you can go take it.” Sai followed the order, walking in between the desks and not sparing the other students any more glances while they didn’t take their eyes off him.

After their lesson finished Naruto stood in the hallway, leaning on the wall as he waited for Kiba to come out. His blue eyes followed every student that went out and his gaze got stuck on a pair of girls. One of them was Sakura, the girl had once again shortened her hair into a bob that fell nicely around her face but Naruto no longer seemed to notice what she was wearing or how she did her make up or even what her expression was as she spoke, in stead, his gaze lingered on the dark-haired girl beside her. Hinata. The long haired girl wore her usual hoodie. Her hands were intertwined behind her back and Naruto couldn’t help but notice how much she piqued in the last two years. Naruto didn’t take his eyes off the girl's chest until they walked far enough for him not to see it and right at that moment Kiba walked over to him.

“I invited Sai to come with us after school.”

“The new kid?” Naruto frowned and pushed himself off the wall. “Why?”

“Because I wanted to. Maybe he’ll be fun.” The brown haired boy grinned at him and Naruto sighed. “Oh, c’mon. He’s new, he transferred here in the middle of the school year, it’s interesting. You should meet new people. And get a girlfriend.”

 

“When did this turn into a conversation about me?” Naruto frowned, though his glare held no real heat and Kiba chuckled.

“I’m jus’ saying. Soon you’ll be single while I’ll be with a cute chick by my side.” Naruto snorted.

“Yeah right.”

“That’s right. I’ll beat you to it just like I beat you in yesterday's race.”

“Well I’d like to see you beat me now.” Naruto rushed off to their next class without giving the other boy a warning, though Kiba didn’t falter and ran close behind him. Sometimes Kiba’s competitive nature and the need to be the best got on Naruto’s nerves, usually because they were completely identical in that aspect. Both boys wanted to come out on top and be the best which caused them to fight a lot but more often than that, it caused them to push each other to be the best.

 

From the very first day, since Sasuke was brought to this camp, all that he remembers feeling was cold, hunger and pain. He’s lost count of how many days he’s been here and all that he knows is that each and every one of them had made him suffer and today was no different. Orochimaru or Kabuto must’ve noticed that he had been hanging out with Suigetsu, never leaving the boy's side whenever they had a bit of free time and that they went everywhere together. And because of that they hadn’t gotten chores in the same building for a while. Sasuke understood that it was because Orochimaru didn’t want him or anyone else to form bonds here. Alliances meant that they wouldn't feel alone and isolated, which could end with the kids realizing that they weren’t completely powerless here. Orochimaru couldn’t risk them feeling even the slightest glimmer of hope. Freedom, relationships and hopefulness were taboo here; nothing more than words that didn’t mean anything at all to them. Every person looked out for themselves here, the strong ones survived and the weak ones didn’t. It was survival of the fittest and everyone was making sure that the cards were in their favor.

Just like Suigetsu had warned him, when he first got here, the other kids didn’t pass up the chance to challenge him. It was only in good luck that he managed to keep all of his food from getting stolen, he didn’t get into too many fights and Suigetsu was there to help him in each one. Now everyone seemed to back off. Sasuke hoped that it was because he had managed to show those bullies that he wasn’t someone that they could push around, and now, with Jugo by his side it was even easier to show everyone not to mess with him. Sasuke understood that the reason he no longer heard anyone whispering mean jabs behind his back, about bowing down to Orochimaru, was because they were too scared to say anything in Jugo’s presence. Though he still noticed a few glares, it wasn’t something that bothered him anymore. He knew that everyone here was scared of Jugo and not of him. But the older boy followed him like a shadow everywhere he went and that gave Sasuke a feeling of power and superiority.

Jugo did the chores that he was assigned but once he would be finished he would go looking for Sasuke. And no one said a thing. Sasuke had expected that if no one else, then at least Kabuto would’ve said something but the man also kept quiet, only sending a mean stare their way. Sasuke knew that Jugo’s size and reputation would’ve striked fear in a few of the adults but he hadn’t expected all of them to act that way. When Orochimaru had brought up this topic on one of their nights, Sasuke was surprised to see that the man didn’t seem angry, rather, he looked amused by the whole situation. He didn’t reprimand neither Sasuke or Jugo and allowed them to continue hanging out. At some points, usually during the night when he would lay, unable to sleep, Sasuke wondered whether that was because no one wanted to piss Jugo off or because Orochimaru had ordered the staff to stay clear of the large boy. Sasuke liked to imagine that it was because of the former.

Then, one day, Sasuke, together with Suigetsu, and a few other kids were rounded up in a group. Jugo had been adamant on going together with Sasuke but the younger boy convinced him that they shouldn’t take long and Jugo stayed to do his chores. A decision Sasuke would later regret. Kabuto ordered each of them to take a backpack from the storage room, a few protein bars and a bottle of water, then they moved out. It was strange walking out of the front gates, the scene giving them false hope that such a thing was possible. Sasuke understood that they were taken out on a hike relatively quickly but what he couldn’t understand was why Orochimaru approved of this. The fact that the man would just let him go for a week, let him have a rest from their nightly ‘meetings’ seemed strange. And for the bigger part of the time they spent walking, Sasuke couldn’t get one thought out of his head. He simply couldn’t understand what he did wrong to deserve this, to be sent away from Orochimaru’s care.

The days they spent hiking were long and grueling. They didn’t take any breaks, the limited food and water resources they had were disappearing quickly and no one seemed to care. Such conditions made him miss the camp, the security it provided with the fact that there was structure and a regime. They had to work but at least they knew that they could eat three times a day and later go to sleep in their beds, if they didn’t do anything to have those privileges taken away. Sasuke understood why Suigetsu despised these hikes.

The weather made it clear that it was winter but unfortunately for them, the wind wasn’t cold enough to freeze the mud paths and hills that they walked on. A boy in front of him slipped, his foot sliding down the mud but luckily, he managed to stop himself by holding onto the ground with his hands. Sasuke stopped, staring as the boy slowly stood up again, on wobbly legs he pushed himself from the position that he was in and it reminded Sasuke of babies when they first learn to walk and try to get up from all fours. The boy stood up and when he was sure that he wasn’t going to fall and send them all tumbling to the ground below, he took a shaky step forward, which made Sasuke let out a relieved breath. He had lost count how many kids had fallen in the past few days. Whether it was from pure exhaustion or because of the unsteady ground below their feet. Many kids, including Sasuke himself had taken quite a few dangerous falls but the staff member, leading them, didn’t stop, didn’t care to check and see if they were alright and uninjured.

By this point Sasuke was already used to the lack of care. None of the adults cared if they lived or died, if they were sick or injured. They had to do their job, no matter how much pain they were in, they had to get up, dust themselves off and go do their chores or else they risked getting ridiculed by the staff members, the other kids and getting punished for not following the rules. The wound on his arm healed long ago and now, in its place, there was a big, nasty scar that made Sasuke feel sick just from looking at it. He still didn’t understand what was going through his head when he did that but at the time, it seemed like the only way out. The way out. Sasuke sighed and raised his eyes to look around at the thick trees surrounding them. Technically they were out. They were outside of the camp, they were walking freely in nature, just like his father said they were going to do. But they weren’t free. And they won’t be until they leave this place for good.

Sasuke and his friends had stopped making escape plans a long time ago but they still hadn’t left his mind. And in difficult moments, thoughts of escaping, reuniting with his friends and family, how happy everyone would be to see him, were the only thing that kept him going, even if most of the time he felt hopeless. Thoughts that he’s never going to get out, that he’s going to spend the rest of his life here, that he'll die here, kept Sasuke awake at night. Suigetsu’s words that some kids really did spend the rest of their lives here would ring in his head. He didn’t want to end up like them but a big part of him knew that his wishful thinking of going home was only a fantasy. The horrific realization that he was here for God knows how long and his parents still hadn’t come to get him. He still hadn’t earned the right to go back home. And the thought that no one cared, that everyone forgot about him was tearing him apart. And the scariest thought of them all was that he was forgetting them too.

During the night, when he couldn’t sleep, which was almost every night, he realized that he could still make out his mother’s, brother’s and father’s faces, he could vaguely remember the sound of their voices but his friends were only parts. Blue eyes, blond hair, brown hair, pink hair that was all that he could remember. The lines and contours on their faces were an unrecognizable blur and he couldn’t even remember what their voices sounded like. He could barely remember the time they spent together, the things they said. The memories they shared together had become second-long flashbacks that he couldn’t truly remember. That was the scariest part of it all.

The sun had already set and they made camp on a patch of grass that could almost pass for a small field surrounded by the trees. Just like all of the nights before, he and Suigetsu had laid their sleeping bags closest to one another. The two staff members watching them were one of the stricter ones. So far, they hadn’t said anything about the kids sleeping close to each other but Sasuke and Suigetsu were still careful at night. While one adult slept and the other one watched them, making sure that no one ran away. But the kids had already found a way to talk undetected in their very first weeks at the camp. They tried to limit the looks they would send one another, when they talked their lips barely moved, their voices the tiniest of whispers, being careful not to get caught. Here, it was a bit easier. The sound of nature around them washed out their voices. When night rolled around, their faces were hidden by the corners of their sleeping bags and only if they were facing one another could they see and hear what the other kid was saying. If their voices were too quiet, then the ability to read lips came in handy, a skill everyone learned sooner or later.

Life in the camp never got easier. Sasuke learned how to live here, how to survive but that didn’t make it any less horrible. He can still remember how much he prayed and begged to be allowed to go back home. He can’t remember the last time he prayed anymore. Sasuke took a deep breath and turned on his side. Suigetsu was laying on his back, his left arm beneath his head. The white-haired boy looked peaceful staring up at the dark night sky. As if they were here on a camping trip with their friends. As if they weren’t brought here against their will and were now trying not to freeze their fingers and toes off. He remembers how much he looked up at the older boy. Suigetsu's ability to stay calm and focused under pressure and in any situation was something magical to Sasuke. Now he knows that underneath that brave face Suigetsu was terrified for his life, just like everyone else was. He simply learned how to mask his emotions early in life. And it was something that Sasuke was forced to do as well.

Before, the ability to be as calm as Suigetsu seemed surreal to him. Now, it was natural. The sweet smiles and submissive looks thrown at Orochimaru, the stone-cold expression whenever an adult threatened him, the completely calm manner whenever he lied to someone while looking them in the eyes. It all became so natural to him, like a second skin, that sometimes, late at night, he feared that those feelings were true. That Sasuke actually felt that way and that made him hate himself even more. He never imagined himself like this, he never thought that he’d be able to lie so easily. But he also never thought that he’d raise his hand against himself and yet, he did. Sasuke licked his dry lips, the wind making the wet skin sting even more. It felt like the day he tried to kill himself happened not long ago and yet, now all that was left was a large scar. A nasty mark that orochimaru frowned at every time he saw it, reminding Sasuke just how ugly it was, just how ugly it made him.

The boy would listen to those words with a stiff lip but even with his understanding that he shouldn’t take what orochimaru says to heart didn’t stop him from looking at the scar and hating himself for ruining his beauty. It made him feel less worthy of the man’s time and of his attention. It made him feel damaged even more than how he already was. It was physical evidence of the abuse that he went through, the abuse that he couldn’t handle. It was evidence of his weakness, that he wasn’t strong enough to survive this, that he truly thought that death was the only option. But even with the hate he felt towards himself for being so weak, he still believed that death was the only answer. The only freedom they were allowed to get. Because even if they left this place Sasuke understood that no matter how much he would wish for it, this place would be a constant reminder. If not physical marks and scars, then emotional wounds would never let them live easily.

Sometimes, late at night, he would wonder. Maybe he was born broken. Maybe he was simply too much to handle, too hard to love and his parents didn’t have the heart to tell him that and that’s why they sent him here. That’s why they still didn’t take him back. They knew that something was wrong with him and this place brought those things out. This camp showed Sasuke what was wrong with him without his parents having the burden to explain it to him. After all, if everything were fine with him, he wouldn’t have been sent here or at least he would’ve been strong enough to handle it all without damaging himself even further. Without abandoning God. But he couldn’t handle it. Sasuke sighed and closed his eyes. He could still feel the sharp blade of the knife cutting at his skin as if he were doing it right now. But even if there was something wrong with him, isn’t it the parents responsibility to love their child unconditionally, with all their flaws and short-comings.

Thinking about it too much made his head hurt but he couldn’t help it. Millions of thoughts raced through his mind and he couldn’t let them out. He couldn’t tell anyone and risk being caught, especially when he wasn’t special. Everyone was suffering here and no one was complaining about it. He couldn’t write anything down either, as it would be read by the staff and he would get a beating for feeling that way. Because he doesn’t have a right to feel sorry for himself. He deserves all that has happened to him. And if the staff were to start to suspect that he wants to kill himself they’re going to keep a closer eye on him and he doesn’t want that. So he stays quiet, he keeps all of his thoughts to himself, letting them eat at him and slowly drive him mad. He knows that there’s something wrong with him because he’s having all of these negative thoughts and emotions when he shouldn’t be having them. He’s fed, he has clothes, he’s allowed to have a bed and sleep under a roof. He has everything he needs, he doesn’t have the right to feel sorry for himself.

Especially when he clearly did something bad and now those privileges were taken away from him and he was forced to go on a hike. Maybe someone noticed him and Suigetsu talking? Maybe he displeased Orochiamru in some way? He did something but no matter how hard he tried, Sasuke could not understand what it was that he did wrong. Or maybe it wasn’t him that was broken but it was Orochimaru, his parents and all of the other adults? Maybe they were the rotten ones that didn’t deserve to live? Maybe the whole world was guilty that he was feeling this way. No. It was all of them. Him and everyone around him. They were all equally guilty of being alive.

“You alright?” Sasuke blinked his eyes open at the quiet sound and he saw Suigetsu looking at him, while his face still faced the sky. Sasuke swallowed and closed his eyes, opening them after 3 seconds. The long blink signalizing a negative answer. He was freezing, he couldn’t wear his jacket as the sleeping bag was too narrow to fit him while he was still wearing it, so Sasuke pushed it towards the back to keep his feet warmer and to make another layer between the cold, wet ground and his body. He was hungry, the cramps in his stomach had become a usual thing for him, something he grew used to. And he was thirsty. So very thirsty. The last time he had a sip of water was yesterday evening. He wasn’t allowed to have any because his behavior wasn’t good enough for the staff, so his saliva glands stung as they tried to produce spit, to wet his completely dry mouth, to no avail.

“Tell me something.” Sasuke whispered. The thoughts of death and dehydration seemed to be the only things in his head and he felt like he was going crazy. He needed a distraction. Suigetsu was quiet for a long moment and Sasuke closed his eyes again. He knew that the older boy wasn’t ignoring him. Suigetsu never did that. He was thinking, trying to remember or come up with something that was worth talking about.

“I ever tell you ‘bout my brother?” Sasuke opened his eyes. Suigetsu was no longer looking at him, the boy’s violet eyes were staring at the sky.

“No.” Sasuke could see Suigetsu swallow and subconsciously pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, the muscle sticking to it uncomfortably.

“Think I told you tha’ I want revenge.” Sasuke stayed quiet, as he listened to the whispers. Suigetsu was quiet for a long moment and Sasuke began to wonder if it was because Suigetsu didn’t want to tell him any more or because the white-haired boy simply didn’t know how to talk about it, the same way Sasuke could no longer talk about his own thoughts and feelings. “He died. A year before I was sent here. He was killed.” Suigetsu let out a long breath, as if the action let all of his pent up emotions out without having to say any words. “Think I never told you tha’ I play the guitar either.” Suigetsu glanced at Sasuke and the boy slowly shook his head. “Yeah… Well I played a lot of instruments. Piano, guitar, violin, harmonica. I ain’t great at any of it but the guitar’s always been a favorite of mine.” Sasuke could see a sharp canine tooth peek out from behind Suigetsu’s upper lip as the boy smiled.

“My dad’s a producer and my ma’s a manager of a few big shot’s. So I grew up in the music biz. They wanted me an’ my brother to be something big. Spent my whole childhood studying an’ practising.” Suigetsu let out a breath that sounded like a sigh and turned on his side, fully facing Sasuke now. “I went to some prestigious school, had extra music lessons every day. Had fucking acting, singing, dancing…” Suigetsu rubbed his eyes with his hand and Sasuke noticed that the boy’s fingers were a darker shade, almost red. Suigetsu was freezing, just like him. The white-haired boy put his left hand back into his sleeping bag, while the right one was underneath his head. “My parents did everything to raise my chances for a good career. They wanted a star in the family. Problem was, that’s all they cared ‘bout.” Suigetsu got quiet and looked above Sasuke. The raven-haired boy could hear heavy footsteps as one of the staff members walked over to the other one.

“No friends, no free time, no sports, ‘cause God forbid I break a fucking finger. My brother was the only one who was there for me. He was my best friend.” Suigetsu smiled, a distant look in his violet eyes. Sasuke can remember how close he used to be with his brother when they were kids but it all changed when Itachi became a teenager. The older boy grew distant and Sasuke was left feeling alone, a part of him feels like he and Suigetsu can understand each other on a deeper level because of this. “He was a great musician, played in a band. The seven swordsmen, heard of them?” Sasuke gently shook his head side to side. “Really? Were you livin’ under a rock? They were so popular. They were on TV, their songs were played on the radio, you must’ve heard of them.”

“I didn’t listen to music.”

“Well they were super popular. My brother was their vocalist and lead guitarist. He was fucking great.” Sasuke noticed how the corners of Suigetsu’s lips twitched downwards but the boy quickly got control over his expression and hid his frown. “There was a lot of stress on him. He started using. My parents tried to help him. Sent him to a bunch of rehabs and meetings but nothing helped and… I don’t know. One day, maybe someone sold him somethin’ bad or he overdosed but either way, none of his friends did anythin’. None of his bandmates helped ‘im, no one called an ambulance an’ he died.” Suigetsu’s voice got so quiet towards the end that Sasuke could barely make out what he was saying. Suigetsu stayed quiet for a long moment, staring in front of him but his eyes were unseeing. Then, finally, Suigetsu looked up at Sasuke and gave the younger boy a smile.

“Feel better?” Sasuke thought about it for a second and then nodded. Suigetsu’s story definitely got him to focus and took his mind away from his own bothersome thoughts.

 

Suigetsu had waited until Sasuke’s eyes had been closed for a few minutes at the least and then allowed his neutral expression to crumple. The white-haired boy let out a sigh and turned on his back. His eyes gleamed in an unusually sad way as he stared at the endless black sky, tiny stars so clear in comparison to the city. His eyes shone in the dark and if anyone were to look over at him, they wouldn’t be able to tell if those were tears in his eyes or the reflection of stars. He’s been here for so long, he’s been strong for so long, he managed to take care of himself, survive and thrive. He managed not to think about his past for so long but now all of those wounds opened once again and felt far too fresh. Old memories flashed before his eyes as if he was reliving them again.

The day his parents got the call after his brother hadn’t come back home for almost a week, the days after that, how empty he felt, how torn apart he was. He could remember the way the teachers were more lenient on him in the following days, the way his parents took a few days off from work and spent that time arranging everything for the funeral. He could also remember how invisible he felt not only throughout the burial process but the time following after that too. His parents never paid him much attention, only reminding him that he had to study and keep working hard if he wanted a good future, while his teachers were just as indifferent towards him as they were before. He had no one to talk to, no one to comfort him and tell him that it was going to be ok. And his young ming soon started coming up with revenge plans.

It was the other swordsmen that were responsible for his brother's death. If they had done something, anything, his brother would be alive. Why was it that they could walk around freely, play music, drink, party, do anything they want, while his brother was rotting underground. It wasn’t fair. His brother was the best out of all of them, he didn’t deserve that faith. If anything, the other band members deserved death far more than his brother did. Suigetsu began coming up with plans and none of the adults in his life noticed, or rather, no one seemed to care. They all failed him from the moment his brother died and no one did anything to help him. And because of that no one seemed to care or notice how he started going to the places where his brother’s band used to hang out.

No one thought to stop him from taking drugs when he was offered and no one cared enough to tell the twelve-year old boy to leave those parties. A year went by quickly and soon his parents started to take notice of their son and his new habits. For Suigetsu it didn’t seem like a big deal. He could’ve stopped whenever he wanted but his parents didn’t seem to believe that and hauled him off to a camp in the middle of nowhere. ‘Wilderness therapy’ they had said. ‘It will make things better’ they tried to convince him. He’s lost track how much time he’s spent here. Suigetsu doesn’t know if he’ll ever leave this hell, if he’ll ever be better after this but he is sure of one thing. Suigetsu let his head fall to the side and saw Sasuke’s face. Maybe he’ll get at least one good thing out of this whole experience.

He’s been quiet for so long that it felt strange and overwhelming to talk about his past. It still hurts but after so much time he learned to live with it, he learned to accept it. He knows that he won’t give up on his revenge. Nothing and no one will be able to convince him not to do it. He’s changed a lot since he was a kid, Suigetsu knows that but he also knows that not all of his changes are bad. He likes the way he’s turned out, he likes the person that is always by his side and he likes the fact that he was finally able to open up to someone. It was overwhelming but for some strange reason, now, lying underneath the night sky, trying not to freeze his fingers off, he felt strangely at peace.

Notes:

It's good to be back and posting again, sorry for taking so long but I'm definitely glad that I took this break.
There wasn't much action in this chapter and we not only met a new character but also got a bit of insight into Suigetsu's backstory and personality.
I also wanted to inform you that while I'm back to writing this story I'm simultaneously working on another project and while I'll try to keep updating this story every week, I'm not sure if I'll manage. So if the updates start coming bi weekly or once every few weeks, don't get scared. I'm not dropping this story but I have a bit more work now.

Chapter 10

Summary:

Nothing will change if you won't do anything

“No way, you actually asked her out?” The tone of voices that Kiba spoke in didn’t sound how Naruto expected. The blonde boy was hoping to hear more excitement from his best friend, a congratulations but all that he got was a surprised stare.

“You know it. And she said yes. Isn’t that great?” Naruto looked to the side to see the expressions on his other friends’ faces.

“Naruto and Hinata, huh. I always imagined you’d end up with Sakura.” Choji said from in between mouthfuls of chips.

“Oh yeah, you were so obsessed with her back in the day.” Lee brought his hands behind his head as he leaned back in the armchair. “But guess that’s good news for me.” Lee smirked and Naruto let out a playful scoff.

“You’re the last person she’d date.”

 

“Did you see the way Kiba looked at me when I said that Hinata’s my girlfriend?” Naruto asked. Their little group had all just left Shikamaru’s house and Naruto decided to walk with Sai. The other boy’s apartment was located the furthest and everyone else decided to go back home together. But Naruto was following the boy not because he didn’t want Sai to walk home alone but because he wanted to talk to someone and he couldn’t exactly do that when Kiba was in the other group. Sai hummed at his words.

“Jealousy. Plain jealousy.”

“Oh c’mon, you don’t actually think Kiba’s jealous of me?” Naruto said, not wanting to believe that his friend was feeling that way, even when that thought caused him to feel more superior than the other boy. Naruto was popular. He knew that he was popular. He didn’t voice his thoughts but he was aware that he was attractive. He was blonde, tan, worked out and on top of that everyone liked him. Kids from his grade and the younger ones wanted to hang out with him. He knew that everyone liked him, he knew that it might cause some of his friends to be jealous. And he liked the idea of being the most well liked in their class but it didn’t feel good to think that his best friend might be jealous of him.

“It’s quite possible. While being friends with someone people get the sense of a pack, pack mentality usually means that there’s the leader and whenever there’s a leader there always comes jealousy. ‘He has something I don’t,’ ‘why does he get to have it and I don’t?’.” Naruto frowned at that.

“You think I’m the leader?” Sai shrugged.

“Maybe not in everyone’s eyes but if someone’s insecure they could subconsciously see you that way which will sooner or later spiral into a threat. Be careful, someone might come for your throne.” The black-haired boy smiled.

“We’re not wolves, Sai.” Naruto huffed and turned to look at the path they were walking on. “Seriously. You’ve been reading way too many psychology books. Kiba isn’t insecure and he’ll definitely not come for my reputation.” Naruto turned to look at the other boy as he said the last words, as if to highlight that they were true. Sai shrugged.

 

Sasuke gasped. His chest was rising up and down as he heaved in breathes. His mouth was open, to get more air in, yet it still didn’t feel like enough. The back of his throat was dry and his heart pounded so quickly in his chest that he was sure he could feel the muscle moving in his throat, choking him, making him feel sick, making him not able to breathe properly. Sasuke closed his eyes so tightly it hurt and white flashed behind his lids. His brows were furrowed, drops of sweat coated his forehead, he could barely stand as his legs trembled and his knees threatened to give out. But he stayed up right, he stayed standing and his breathing was slowly calming down as the adrenaline wore off.

Sasuke opened his eyes and blinked. He was still here, everything was real. He could see Orochimaru’s bed, the covers were no longer perfectly made but looked disheveled and like someone had laid there. He tried not to look anywhere else, he tried not to notice the glass shards on the floor from the fallen desk lamp, he tried to ignore the fallen papers and items as he looked down. He was still clutching the knife as if someone would try to take it away. The front of his light grey shirt was completely drenched in dark blood that made it stick to his skin. He felt sick and lightheaded, he felt cold because of the thin layer of sweat that coated his skin from the brawl that he just had. And on the floor, in between his feet laid Orochimaru. A puddle of blood was pooling beneath the man, staining the hardwood floor. Sasuke swallowed and it stung as the back of his throat felt completely dry. His hands were still shaking and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the leftover adrenaline, the cold or because his mind was only now fully understanding what he did.

Sasuke swallowed again, trying not to pay too close attention to the stab wounds covering the man’s front or the frozen expression on his face. His face was contorted in a strange expression, something Sasuke had never seen before. It looked like pain and fear. For a second Sasuke wondered if the man was afraid to die, if his last moments on earth were spent in fear because of him. Sasuke wondered what Orochimaru felt when it happened. Was he confused, was he terrified, was he angry? Sasuke forced himself to look away. He brought his foot over the man’s body and took a shaky step. Everything still felt surreal as Sasuke stumbled out of the room and into the hallway. He was barely present as he walked towards the exit, he didn't even notice when Kabuto walked in and stopped. The older man’s eyes got wide as he stared at Sasuke.

“What- What are you doing?” Kabuto furrowed his brows but Sasuke walked past him as if the boy didn’t hear him. “Answer me when I’m speaking to you.” This time Kabuto raised his voice. “What happened?” Sasuke stopped but didn’t turn to face the man. He had half a mind to just walk away and not say anything.

“What do you think? Orochimaru is dead.” There was silence from behind him but then Sasuke heard a hesitant step, then another and then he heard Kabuto running down the hall towards Orochimaru’s bedroom. Just as Sasuke opened the wooden door to leave he heard a scream echo through the halls.

Suigetsu was crouching, peeling potatoes, aware of Jugo somewhere in the background, washing dishes, when the kitchen door opened. Suigetsu glanced behind him and saw Sasuke walking in. The white-haired boy frowned. Sasuke came back earlier than Suigetsu expected and he had changed his shirt. But it wasn’t just his outer appearance that got Suigetsu’s attention. Sasuke’s expression looked calm but the older boy knew better, having spent every day together they learned to read one another. The corners of Sasuke’s mouth were tense and Suigetsu knew that he wasn’t making it up. Jugo stopped washing the dishes and stared at the youngest boy. Suigetsu wasn’t the only one who noticed. Something was wrong.

“Did someone catch you hiding the knife?” Suigetsu asked, wondering if the other boy was punished. Sasuke didn’t have any physical marks of abuse on him but something definitely happened.

Barely half an hour ago, right before going into the kitchen to do their chores, Suigetsu noticed one of the staff throwing away an old knife and while no one saw he climbed into the dumpster and found it. He ignored Karin’s comment about the unsanitary act and held up the knife proudly.

“And what are you going to do with it? Peel potatoes?” The red-haired girl had looked at the item skeptically and he understood that it was with good cause. If anyone were to find it they would get into a lot of trouble.

“It’s always good to have a weapon.” Suigetsu held it in his hand. The handle was barely holding on and the blade had grown narrow with how many times it had been sharpened but it was still a weapon nonetheless. “Jus’ gotta find a place to stash it.” Sasuke looked at it for a few seconds before volunteering.

“You guys have to work. While if anyone asks me, I could just say that I was going to find Orochimaru. I’ll find a place to hide it.” Suigetsu was hesitant as he handed the blade over.

“Jus’ make sure it’s a good place. Can’t have anyone finding it. Maybe make a hole underneath the mattress or try an’ see if any boards are loose on the floor.” And Sasuke left. Now he was back and something was wrong.

“We can leave.” Sasuke muttered and Suigetsu got up to stand.

“What?” The white-haired boy furrowed his brows and came closer.

“Orochimaru’s dead.” Sasuke didn’t look at him as he said those words. “Tell the kids they can call their parents and leave. He won’t stop us.” Suigetsu stayed still, trying to comprehend the information he just got.

“What are you talking ‘bout.” Suigetsu’s voice was quiet but not because of fear of getting caught but because he was in disbelief. “Sasuke, what the hell happened?” Sasuke’s expression was unchanging and after another moment of silence Suigetsu spoke again. “Are you sure?” He understood what happened but Suigetsu had to make sure. Sasuke finally looked up at him, his dark eyes unreadable and he spoke without breaking eye contact.

“Orochimaru is dead. Go tell the others.” Suigetsu stared at the younger boy’s face trying to read every detail and microexpression, then he put his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder and giving it a little squeeze he looked back at Jugo.

“I’ll tell everyone, you stay with Sasuke.” The oldest boy nodded, his expression worried and serious and walked over to the raven-haired boy.

 

“What?” Suigetsu shushed Karin. Orochimaru might’ve been dead but that didn’t mean that the rest of the staff disappeared.

“Keep your voice down. It’s exactly as I said. I’m pretty sure Sasuke jus’ killed Orochimaru. Tell everyone they can call their parents, Orochimaru allowed it. Try not to say that he’s dead or that Sasuke did it.”

“Why?” Karin furrowed her brows. “It’s good news.” Suigetsu fought back a scowl and the need to cuss her out. They were running on limited time and they had to act fast. God knew what the staff were going to do when they found out, because clearly they didn’t know yet.

“It’ll cause disruption. Just go an’ try to be discreet.” Karin waited a moment longer as if wanting to say something more but kept quiet and walked past Suigetsu with the white-haired boy following soon after her.

They needed to tell all of the kids. From what he knew, no one was out on a hike, which meant that all of the kids were somewhere on the camp. If he were to tell someone and then they were going to tell another kid the news would spread faster but it was a bargain if they were even going to believe them. Everyone seemed to have lost hope of leaving and the only way to do it was with Orochimaru’s approval. If they heard it from them and not from Orochimaru they’d probably think that Suigetsu was lying. And the staff posed a threat too. Their job was to make sure that none of the kids left the camp and obeyed the rules. Orochimaru might be gone but the staff might stop them. Or maybe on the contrary, they wouldn’t know what to do once they found out that Orochimaru was gone. Unless someone would start commanding them, then the adults would stop them. Suigetsu was far too uncertain of this whole situation. He wasn’t sure of what he should do or how he should act. But he was certain that if he wasn’t going to do anything, nothing would happen and they might not leave. And overcome with adrenaline Suigetsu held his head high, kept his steps quick and walked to the hole.

He saw Karin going to the bedrooms and was certain that she would tell everyone in the building so they were left with the garden. He saw some kids raking the leaves and putting them in large trash bags, others were carrying bags of potatoes and rice to the storage room behind the cafeteria. As Suigetsu walked closer he recognized Zaku. The boy was kneeling on one knee, picking up large handfuls of leaves from the ground. The black-haired boy glanced up when he saw that Suigetsu had approached and stopped near the shed, looking at them. Zaku frowned but didn’t say anything as he cast a glance to the staff member that was looking at them.

“Orochimaru allowed us to leave, you can go call your parents. And tell anyone you’ll see.” Zaku’s frown deepened.

“What? We got permission?”

“Yeah, everyone did.” Suigetsu rolled his shoulders in a shrug and watched as the other boy got up, uncertainty on his face.

“Everyone? And instead of Orochimaru or Kabuto telling us this, you are?” The other boy came closer, wiping his dirty hands on his jacket as he stared at Suigetsu and Zaku, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“Look, man, I’m jus’ saying what I’ve been told.”

“And who told you that?”

“What are you doing here?” The three boys turned at the sound of the man’s voice. The staff member that had been previously surveilling them came closer. “Talkings not allowed amongst kids and you should be working on your own chores.” The tall man glared down at Suigetsu but the white-haired boy must’ve hit a growth spurt because none of the staff seemed to tower over him anymore.

“I jus’ came to tell ‘em, tha’ orochimaru allowed us to leave.” Suigetsu watched as the man frowned.

“I wasn’t informed that you kids were supposed to leave today.” Suigetsu shrugged at the mistrusting and rough tone of voice.

“That’s jus’ what I’ve been told. Maybe Kabuto forgot to tell you? But we were definitely allowed.” Suigetsu noticed a flash of thoughtfulness in the man’s eyes as he furrowed his eyebrows even more.

“Stay here. I’ll go ask the master and then we’ll see if you were allowed to leave or not.” Suigetsu stayed calm until there was a good distance between them and the staff member and then turned to look at the two other boys.

“I ‘on’t know ‘bout y’all but I’m going. Ain’t gonna waste a second in this place now that I’ve got the clear.” The other two didn’t answer, they seemed to fight between the urge to follow and obey but then the instinct to band together took over. Zaku followed after Suigetsu and a second later the other boy went after them too. Suigetsu didn’t acknowledge them, not wanting to give off the impression that their compliance meant a lot, and walked quietly.

“Aren’t you going to call your parents?” Zaku asked when he noticed Suigetsu drifting off to the side instead of going with them to where the only working telephone was in this place.

“Sure I am but gotta tell the rest first.”

“So everyone's been allowed out? Really? Everyone?”

“That’s what I’ve been told. And the dude hasn’t come back to punish us,” Suigetsu spoke, having in mind the staff member. “He’s gotta be talking things over with Kabuto, so there’s no way that the news ain’t right.” Zaku hummed and nodded to Suigetsu, a wireless goodbye as the two boys separated paths.

Orochimaru really, truly is dead. Sasuke did it. Suigetsu has no idea how, but the scrawny thing, resembling nothing more than a wisp, did it. The staff weren’t running around to stop them which means they were too confused to do anything or simply refused to do their job now that their boss was dead and no one was going to pay them. It was purely good news for Suigetsu but he still felt the need to hurry. It all felt surreal, the opportunity to leave was finally closer than ever and Suigetsu wondered if he wasn’t dreaming. The news travelled amongst the kids like wildfire and soon almost everyone had called their parents and guardians. And in no time at all, or maybe it seemed that way to Suigetsu because he felt so excited, cars started showing up near the camp.

A staff lady had come out and greeted the parents, she must’ve been taking care of the legal documents to let the kids go. Suigetsu didn’t notice any more staff around and he briefly wondered where they were and what they were doing but it wasn’t something that was on his mind for too long. If the adults were all aware that orochimaru was dead now they were either going to call the police soon or pretend like nothing was happening, that’s why the woman came out, she had to make sure that the parents didn't grow suspicious.

Suigetsu opened the canteen door and saw Sasuke, Karin and Jugo sitting by their usual table. The white-haired boy walked closer to them and stood beside Sasuke. Everyone was quiet, the only sounds were coming from outside as everyone seemed to happily greet their families, though some might’ve not been very happy to see the people that had sent them here but Suigetsu didn’t care enough to think about the other kids and what they were doing.

“Y’all called your parents?” Suigetsu noticed Karin looking down at her hands that were intertwined on top of the table.

“Don’t want to. Only one who's left is my step-dad.” Suigetsu hummed but didn’t reply verbally and looked at Jugo as the large boy began to speak.

“I have no one to call. Maybe my psychiatrist but… I don’t know. What about you guys?” Suigetsu pushed a chair out and sat down on it.

“Don’t want to call ‘em.” Suigetsu glanced at Sasuke. The raven-haired boy was sitting silently, the palms of his hands intertwined in front of his face and his elbows were resting on top of the table. He looked like he hadn’t heard Suigetsu’s question at all and was lost in his own world.

“Then maybe we don’t need to call anyone.” Karin announced and looked around the table, waiting for someone to support her on this. “If none of us want to go back home we can just stay together.” Suigetsu let out a long breath and leaned on the back of his chair, bringing his right hand up to comb through his hair.

“An’ here I was beginning to think you had more than just dicks for brains but guess you’re like any other hoe.” Karin glared at him but before she could open her mouth and tell him off Suigetsu continued talking. “Where would we live? What would we do? We can’t stay here. Not only because there’ll be no electricity or water but food will run out too. Orochimaru won’t be here to watch over and control everything. It’ll be real hell on earth.”

“What about the staff?”

“Doubt anyone’s gonna take over or stay now that no one ’ll be paying ‘em.” Suigetsu rested his elbow on the table and leaned forward. “Either way it don’t leave us much to do here. And we don’ wanna be here when the cops come.”

“They won’t call the police.” Sasuke muttered, finally saying something after a long time of silence. The three other kids looked at him, each of their faces holding different emotions.

“Someone was murdered.” Suigetsu stated matter of factly. “They’re going to call the cops.” Sasuke gently shook his head.

“Kabuto won’t risk this whole place getting swarmed with cops. Even if Orochimaru is dead, the abuse in this place might come to light and the rest of the staff would be the ones to get the blame for child negligence. Kabuto won’t risk Orochimaru’s whole programme getting found out.”

“Even if they don’ come, we still can’t stay ‘ere. So what now?” Suigetsu sighed and didn’t take his gaze off Sasuke.

“We’ll go home. We’ll call whoever we can and we’ll leave. Kabuto saw me coming out of Orochimaru’s room. We don’t need anyone else suspecting us too. We’ll act like the rest of the kids, that we don’t know anything and that we were just told to go home. And then let’s meet again. On the outside.” Sasuke wasn’t sure what was waiting for them outside of the camp's fence. He’ll probably go home, see his family, and start school again. Everything was so unclear, it was scary but a part of him felt that after what he did today, he had no reason to be scared of anything else. Especially when he’s lived like that before. He used to go to school, he used to go outside and hang out with friends. There’s no reason for him to be nervous. And he was also sure that he didn’t want to lose this friendship.

“So we call ‘em,” Suigetsu looked away from Sasuke and let his gaze wander to the table. “An’ then we find each other again.” The older boy licked his lips and smiled. “Works for me.” Sasuke hummed while the other two adolescents agreed with Suigetsu’s words.

“You guys can go ahead, I have to take care of the evidence first.”

“Evidence?” Karin asked, before she could remember the knife. Sasuke nodded.

“I’ll burn the shirt. And the knife… we could bury it.” Sasuke explained, while still trying to come up with a plan. He had dreamed about their escape for so long and yet he hadn’t thought so far ahead. He had no idea that his chance would come so soon and he hadn’t been prepared at all, acting solely on his emotions. He did an inhuman thing, that he still couldn’t phantom and he couldn’t stop now, he had to continue. He had to make sure that all evidence was buried and that he and his friends were safe.

“Not a good idea.” Suigetsu spoke. “If the cops do come, their dogs ‘ll sniff it out.”

“Yeah?” Karin spoke up in a mean tone of voice. “So what idea do you have? At least Sasuke’s doing something while-“

“The swamp.” The white-haired boy cut her off. “We could throw it in the swamp. It’s far an’ difficult to get to. And anything we’ll throw in ‘ll drown. Gone forever.” He looked up at Karin, as if challenging the girl to find something wrong with the idea. She frowned at him, looking irritated but kept quiet. Suigetsu glanced at Jugo, the boy was looking down at the table, seemingly thinking about it, he didn’t object either.

“Sounds good.” Sasuke said as he nodded and moved to stand up from his chair. “I haven’t seen any staff members walking around or trying to stop anybody. I’ll go, you guys call your parents.

Though no one seemed overly pleased with the idea of contacting their family, no one spoke to object. Sasuke was quick as he left the camp grounds. He walked with a purpose in mind and he wasn’t willing to stop for anything. He had to do this. Sasuke remembered the path from the hikes that they took and reached the swamp. He walked closer to the edge of the little hill. The air outside was cold but there was no snow and the long grass was soft underneath him. He barely made any noise as he crouched closer to the ground and went down the slippery hill. It was difficult to see where the grass ended and the swamp began. Sasuke was careful with his steps, making sure that he wouldn’t accidentally fall in the water. And when it emerged from the ground and gathered around his shoes Sasuke understood that he was close enough. He clenched the knife that he had wrapped in his bloodstained shirt and in a towel from the kitchen. Sasuke breathed in and without thinking much further he threw the knife with all his strength. It landed in the dark water and sank in moments. Sasuke stared at the spot for a long moment, looking at it, as if he were looking at his past self drowning and a second later, just as a colder wind picked up, he turned and walked away.

When he got back to the camp the sky was getting darker and most of the kids had already left. The camp looked abandoned and haunted. Sasuke felt uneasy as he walked along the familiar path. At least before, he was certain that someone was going to be right around the corner. This place used to be full of life, even if everything was depressing, now everything felt dead. Sasuke felt a chill run down his spine at the thought and tried not to remember Orochimaru’s body, he tried not to think that Kabuto was probably still there, clutching the lifeless and cold thing. Sasuke let out a deep breath and hurried his pace, as he suddenly felt like he was being watched. Suigetsu was sitting on the porch of the very first building, the same building where Orochimaru was killed and where countless people and parents had walked through, not knowing what was lying in the room down the hall. Sasuke sat down next to the older boy, wondering where their other two friends were. They sat in silence together, staring at the dark road that led out of this camp, just like they had done countless times before but this time felt different, because they knew that this was truly going to be the last time. The door behind them opened after some time. Jugo and Karin stepped outside.

“Did you do it?” Karin asked, a slight smile on her face when he saw Sasuke. “Did you burn the shirt?” Karin sat down right next to him, her knee and shoulder pressing against him. Sasuke shook his head.

“Threw both of them in the swamp.” Karin hummed and looked at the forest stretching around them.

“And that’s even better.” Suigetsu muttered. “Fire would’ve burned everything but it would’ve attracted attention.” Suigetsu got quiet and turned his head to look at Sasuke, the other boy didn’t acknowledge it. “You should call ‘em.” Sasuke hummed, agreeing with Suigetsu’s words but he wasn’t quick to get up. He sat there for a few minutes longer before finally getting up with a sigh.

The staff woman was still inside, and looked drained from talking with parents for the whole day, dialed his parents number and let him call them. When Sasuke got back, he sat down next to his friends. They were quiet, just like they’ve been taught. They weren’t speaking but they were sitting together, enjoying each other’s company while they still had the chance and that was enough for them.

“I guess it finally happened.” Karin broke the silence, her voice loud compared to the quiet of the evening. “This feels unreal… I feel like I’ll wake up any moment and find out that all of this was a dream.” Sasuke felt similarly, only for him it felt like a dream mixed with a nightmare. He still couldn’t believe that he had actually done what he did. “When I get back, the first thing that I’ll do is I’ll take a shower. And change. I’m sick of these clothes.”

Sasuke hummed. He wondered what waited for him back at home. Was his room the same as when he had left or did his parents change it in any way? His books, clothes and all of his other personal belongings, were they still there or did his parents throw them out? Sasuke swallowed, let out a sigh and looked up at the dark sky. He was hungry and thirsty as he didn’t have the chance to eat lunch or dinner but he didn’t get up to go to the kitchen. Sasuke had barely seen any staff throughout the day, logically, he knew that no one would try to stop him but not eating much and refraining to do so has been happening to him for so long that it was practically engraved into his mind. So he didn’t get up and continued to sit there, waiting, listening to the quiet sounds of the forest. Sasuke had gotten used to the silence but he had never noticed it’s peace, not until now and he realised that this was the first time he’s relaxed since getting here.

They heard a car approaching before they even saw the headlights. Sasuke squinted but didn’t take his eyes away from it. It was a grey jeep and it wasn’t familiar to Sasuke. He thought that maybe he’d forgotten what his parents' car looked like or they had gotten a new one. The driver’s door opened and a man that Sasuke had never seen before stepped outside. He felt Karin move beside him and the girl stood up. He took in the appearance of her step-father, noting everything from the beard on his face to the shoes that he was wearing and he realized that it had been a while since he’s seen anyone new. The time that it took him to fill out the paperwork felt like no-time at all and they were saying goodbye to Karin sooner than he would’ve wanted to. Sasuke knew that sooner or later they were going to have to say bye to one another but he felt torn apart while doing it. They had spent every single day together and even when he knew that this was going to happen, he still couldn’t imagine himself being away from them. It was unusual and weird.

While Karin hugged him, her face was hidden but Sasuke knew that she was fighting back tears. He understood her heartbreak as he felt that his own chest was going to be ripped apart as he watched the car drive off. Jugo’s psychiatrist came soon after that and it wasn’t any easier. In the end it was only him and Suigetsu and Sasuke felt like a part of him was missing, like something important was stolen from him. He let out a sigh but the feeling didn’t go away. The air was getting colder and the sky was getting darker but Sasuke didn’t move. He didn’t mind the cold but Suigetsu was a whole other story. He felt the older boy move to sit closer beside him, keeping each other warm with their body heat. It was quiet and the silence felt comforting. The dark trees that had acted like a cage for them no longer seemed as suffocating or threatening. Sasuke didn’t even notice how the time went by and soon a black car drove up to them. In a matter of seconds the doors opened and his mother got out, the expression on her face looked relieved. She seemed happy to see him and even though Sasuke felt a wave of familiarity wash over him, he wasn’t happy to see his parents. Suigetsu moved away from him and Sasuke felt how cold his side got.

“Sasuke,” Mikoto walked closer to him and he could see that she was holding back the urge to reach out and touch him. Sasuke stood up but didn’t come closer to them.

“Mother, father.” Their faces looked older. Sasuke could see his mother press her lips in a tight line, her hands intertwining in front of her.

“Is Orochimaru inside?” His father asked and Sasuke turned to look at the man. He was quiet for a moment, his mind racing with appropriate answers.

“I don’t know.” His voice was quiet, even in the silence of the forest. “He told everyone that we were allowed to go home. I haven’t seen him during the day, the staff were taking care of everything.” Fugaku frowned.

“Everyone went home?” Sasuke nodded. From what he saw, only the staff, he and Suigetsu were the only ones left in the camp. His parents shared a worried glance between one another.

“We wanted to thank him for taking care of you…” His mother spoke. “And if everyone left does that mean everyone finished the programme?”

“You should ask the lady inside.” Suigetsu answered before his parents could ask anymore questions. His father stared at Suigetsu, Sasuke recognized the disapproving look as the man looked Suigetsu up and down. He’d seen it many times in his childhood. His father didn’t answer and walked up the stairs, stepping right beside Suigetsu as the boy refused to stand up or move out of the way. Sasuke’s mother followed close behind but he stayed standing in the same spot. “Well, ain’t they pleasant.” Suigetsu chuckled and turned to look at Sasuke. “I’ve seen angry dogs say warmer ‘hellos’.” Sasuke felt the corners of his lips tug upwards and he sat back down on the porch.

He understood that the time he had with Suigetsu was growing shorter with each passing second and he wanted to use it to the fullest but there was nothing that came to mind. He had no idea what to say or what to talk about so he enjoyed Suigetsu’s warmth and closeness. Sasuke promised himself that he wouldn’t forget it.

“When are your parent’s coming?”

“Tomorrow.” Sasuke frowned.

“You’re staying here another night?” Suigetsu hummed and stretched, standing up from the porch.

“It’s too far for ‘em to come ‘ere today. Said they’ll be ‘ere tomorrow.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve stayed with you, I would’ve called my parents tomorrow and-”

“Sas,” Suigetsu cut him off. “It’s fine. Only one more night. Go home, rest. I’ll be fine.” Sasuke wasn’t sure of that. Suigetsu was going to stay in this place for longer, alone and surrounded by staff, who might be angry that Orochimaru died. Sasuke wasn’t sure if this place was safe for Suigetsu but he didn’t voice his concerns, already aware that the older boy would simply brush him off.

“But you are leaving, right?” Sasuke asked, just to be sure.

“Yes, tomorrow.”

“And we’ll see each other again?” His eyebrows were furrowed as Sasuke looked up at Suigetsu. The white-haired boy smiled, a tender look on his face.

“Of course.” The door behind them opened and his parents walked out. Sasuke barely had a chance to look back at the two adults when his father spoke.

“Get up, let’s go.” Sasuke wasn’t quick but he followed the command, though he didn’t walk after his parents to the car, instead he stopped and looked at Suigetsu. The older boy wasn’t smiling anymore but his features were still soft, it was unusual to see him so calm and Sasuke noticed himself subconsciously admiring the white-haired boy’s face. Suigetsu extended his arm.

“Guess this means we’re saying bye.” Sasuke swallowed and didn’t reach for the hand, instead he looked at it. He didn’t want to say goodbye because he understood that it would officially mean that he was going to leave this place and everyone in it behind, it meant that a new, unpredictable chapter was going to start for him. Even though he had dreamed about this day countless times, he never imagined that it would’ve been so difficult for him to leave his friend. Sasuke would’ve never imagined that there would be a person in his life that would make him feel such heartbreak, because of the knowledge that he wasn’t going to see this boy for a very long time. Sasuke let out a shaky breath and reached for Suigetsu’s waiting palm.

“Will you come see me again?” Suigetsu smiled.

“Of course. I’ll walk after you everywhere and anywhere.”

“Then I’m not saying goodbye.” Sasuke whispered, his voice a whisper but he knew that Suigetsu heard him. “Because this isn’t a goodbye, just a short break from one another.” He wanted to hug Suigetsu, to wrap his arms around the boy’s shoulders and let his tears fall, just like Karin had done with him, Sasuke wanted to thank Suigetsu for looking out for him, for helping him but he was aware of his parents standing not far from them and he didn’t feel comfortable doing any of those things while they watched.

Their arms fell back to their sides and the pain in Sasuke’s chest grew as he turned away from the boy and started walking towards his parents. He didn’t look back, because he knew that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to leave this place. He opened the car door and sat down in the backseat behind his mother, where he used to sit all the time when he was little. He noted how long it’s been since he’s been inside of a vehicle and how small it now felt. He could remember it being bigger, that his legs fit more comfortably in the cramped space. Sasuke licked his lips and stared at the ground, not daring to raise his eyes or look out the window as he feared that the image of Suigetsu, standing there alone, would haunt him.

The car was warm, so warm that Sasuke’s palms and fingers felt like they were burning. The smell of the car was intense, almost pungent, and Sasuke wondered if it was because his father got a new scenting agent or he simply forgot how these things smell. There wasn’t anything of such sorts at the camp. They drove down the dirt road in silence, the headlights were the only things that lit up the path as there were no lanterns in between the trees. Sasuke subconsciously remembered the drive to the camp when he was kidnapped. It was dark, just like right now but he was sitting on the cold hard ground and both of these times he was scared and nervous of what awaited him once they reached their destination.

“You stink.” His father’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts and Sasuke finally looked up. “Did they not let you shower there?” Sasuke didn’t answer, choosing to cast his gaze to the side and pretend as if he didn’t hear the question. “Answer me, boy. Just because I’m taking you home it does not mean that I won’t take you back to the camp. Orochimaru assured us that by the time you come home you’ll be obedient, I hope you’re not starting to misbehave again.” Sasuke licked his lips and stared at the back of his mother’s seat.

“No.” Sasuke heard his father scoff and the man didn’t say anything else.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence. Sasuke didn’t even notice when they pulled into their driveway. Everything looked familiar, yet so different at the same time. Small changes making it look completely different than how he remembered it. Sasuke opened the door and stepped outside, the air making him notice just how suffocating the car felt. The house and interior didn’t seem to have changed much but when Sasuke walked inside he didn’t feel like he was home. He took off his shoes and noticed the stark contrast between his shoes and the shiny black ones that were standing near the front door. His looked old and worn down.

“Itachi is with some colleagues from work but he should be back tonight.” Sasuke turned to look at his mother when she spoke. Itachi was working? Last Sasuke remembered, his older brother was still in highschool. Had it really been this long? He didn’t answer and turned away from his mother, who was standing a step behind him, looking at him as if she were expecting something. Sasuke didn’t take his jacket off and walked down the hall where his room was. He opened the door and stepped inside. Everything was just as he had left it. A part of him had expected to be met with a thick layer of dust on every surface but it was surprisingly clean. Nothing was moved out of place. His bed was made, his desk was in the same place as it was before and all of his books looked untouched. Sasuke heard his mother’s quiet footsteps as the woman walked up behind him.

“I didn’t rearrange anything while you were away. It’s just as you left it…” He walked into the room, took off his jacket and threw it on the bed. Sasuke glanced at his wardrobe and came closer to it. “We didn’t buy anything as we weren’t sure what your size was. Orochimaru didn’t allow us to send you anything and we were caught by surprise when you called us today.” Sasuke opened the wooden doors and saw his old clothes folded and hanging neatly. He took a navy shirt, that used to be his favourite, in his hands. It looked much smaller than how Sasuke remembered it. “You grew up so much…” His mother whispered. “I missed you so much. We all did. Every night before bed I would pray for you to come back sooner to us.” Sasuke put the shirt back in his closet and closed the doors. “You could borrow some of your brother’s shirts and sweatpants for now. I’m sure he won’t mind. We’ll go buy you some clothes this weekend.”

“I want to take a shower.” Sasuke spoke before Mikoto could add anything else.

“Oh, of course. Then I won’t bother you anymore.” Mikoto gave him a gentle smile. Sasuke stared at her for a moment longer, his expression calm and neutral and then moved past her to go to the bathroom.

Sasuke felt like a new person after the shower. He hadn’t felt warm water or used shower gel or shampoo in so long that he felt like he was pampering himself while taking care of his basic needs. While he was brushing his teeth he couldn’t take his eyes away from the mirror, he didn’t think that he changed much, he had gotten used to the way he looks but his mom couldn’t take her eyes away from him. Sasuke understood that she missed him but he also understood that in their eyes he changed a lot. That camp changed him. They sent him there to improve his behavior and he came back as a murderer. Sasuke tore his gaze away from the mirror and spit the toothpaste out of his mouth. He didn’t want to think about that. When he raised his head again Sasuke studied the dark circles under his eyes, his pale skin, his sunken cheeks. Everyone looked like that in the camp but when he looked at his parents and then at himself, he felt like a black sheep. The odd one out. Sasuke let out a sigh, dried his face with a towel and heard the front door unlock.

Chapter 11

Summary:

Even if you stop, life moves on

Naruto walked hand in hand with Hinata. Their first class of the day was English and most of the students were already in the classroom, only a few were still not present. Naruto began coming to school earlier after deciding to walk there together with Hinata. The girl would always come to school earlier than he did, so he had to make a few changes in his daily routine. Though it was a bit difficult at first, in the span of a month Naruto got used to it. When they walked into the classroom a few students turned to look their way. Naruto noticed some of his friends in the back while Hinata’s friends called her over. The girl looked at him with a sweet smile on her face.

“We’re gonna have lunch together, right?” Naruto hummed in agreement and leaned down to kiss her on the corner of her mouth. It was a quick peck, nothing like what they do when they’re alone but Naruto wasn’t willing to do anything more than this gentle kiss when so many people were around. Naruto squeezed her hand.

“Of Course. I’ll walk you to your next class too.” He said and let her hand go. He would’ve loved to bring her to his friends but he knew that she wanted to hang out with her own friends. Naruto walked to the back and put his backpack on the floor, next to the leg of his desk. Shikamaru was resting his head on top of his hands next to Shino and Naruto turned to face them, leaning on the edge of his desk. “I heard we’re getting a new student.”

“A transfer?” Shikamaru frowned at the light of the classroom as he turned his head and opened one of his eyes to look at Naruto. “It’s the middle of the school year.” Shikamaru raised his head and yawned. “The first semester is nearly over.”

“Yeah, I heard my dad talking ‘bout it yesterday. He’ll be in our class.”

“Did he do something in his old school?” Shino questioned. “Was he expelled?” Naruto shrugged.

“He probably moved.” Naruto glanced at Sai, who was also looking at them, listening to their conversation. “I don’t know, I didn’t hear.” The bell in the hall rang but no one rushed to move to their seats. “All that I know is that we’re getting a Sai 2.0” Naruto smiled.

Kiba came into class a few minutes later, right before the classroom door opened. Naruto turned and sat down, facing the front of the class, he watched as Kakashi walked in, muttering a tired ‘good morning’. The new student was right behind him. Kakashi sat down and Naruto kept his gaze on the boy. He looked oddly familiar. Naruto couldn’t pinpoint exactly where he had seen the boy. Maybe somewhere on the street? He couldn’t put a name to the face but it looked vaguely familiar. Sickly pale skin, dark eyes, dark hair. Naruto ran his tongue across the back of his teeth as he wondered, the strange boy made his curiosity raise.

“Allright,” Kakashi sighed when he sat down in his chair. “Good morning everyone. Meet your new classmate, he’ll be joining us from now on. Why don’t you introduce yourself and to break the ice tell the class your name, what you like and what you dislike and your goal for the future.” Kakashi looked at the boy. “To make it easier I’ll start first. My name is Kakashi Hatake, I’m your homeroom teacher. There are quite a few things that I enjoy doing and of course there are things that I dislike. And my goal is to get the newest edition of the book that I am currently reading. Your turn.” The class got quiet as Kakashi stopped speaking and all of the students were looking at the boy in front, waiting for him to start talking. The boy was silent for a few long moments and it seemed like he was looking each student in the eyes as he looked them over. Naruto felt uneasy when those dark eyes landed on him, the boy’s gaze looked too assessing as if he could see straight to Naruto’s soul and hear his every thought. And the familiarity was creeping him out. The boy took his gaze away and finally spoke.

“My name is Sasuke Uchiha.” Naruto’s eyes widened. “I don’t particularly like anything.” It couldn’t be... “And there are a lot of things that I don’t like.” After all these years… “My goal…” Is to make sure that Kabuto stays silent. “Is to meet a certain someone again.” Kakashi hummed.

“Thank you, Sasuke. You can take the empty seat there.” Kakashi motioned to the place near the window. “I heard quite a lot of good things about you. Let’s hope that they’ll be true. I won’t expect you to keep up with us this lesson but try to catch up.” Sasuke walked over to the desk and sat down a few seats in front of Naruto. “I’ll give you a test to assess your skills and what you remember from the previous years. So don’t run away after class.” Kakashi stood up from his chair. “Now everyone take out your notebooks.” Naruto was slow to follow the order as he couldn’t seem to take his eyes away from the raven-haired boy. “Sakura, why don’t we start with you. The first question from your homework. What did you answer?” Naruto could barely concentrate as his gaze kept going back to Sasuke, while the boy was calmly writing down what Kakashi was saying.

Sasuke barely got any sleep. He didn’t sleep a lot on normal nights but usually he could at least get a few hours of restless sleep. But tonight he was plagued by nightmares of the camp and his own bed and room felt unfamiliar. His bed was a lot more comfortable than the ones at the camp but his room felt too hot and stuffy. It didn’t help much even when he opened the window. It was too quiet, he felt strange with no one breathing or moving beside him. Though he wasn’t too bothered by the lack of rest as he was used to working with not a lot of energy. He got up around 5am, when laying in bed became uncomfortable and started getting ready. He barely ate anything of the breakfast his mother made and brushed it off with not being hungry in the morning. They were alone in the kitchen and she didn’t seem to have noticed that he didn’t say grace. It had slipped Sasuke’s mind and he hadn’t even thought about it until he saw his mother start praying.

Itachi offered to drive him to school as apparently he worked there as a teacher. Sasuke wanted to decline but Itachi insisted that it would be no problem at all. The car ride was quiet, Sasuke felt hot in it and being this close to his brother seemed strange to him. Everything had changed so much in the past four years, he felt like he was surrounded by strangers with the people who were supposed to be his family. Life seemed to have moved on for them but for Sasuke it was still getting unstuck. One day he was 12 years old and had come back home from church. Now, he was supposed to be 16, he was supposed to go to school, learn and live his life as if nothing happened. Going to class was nerve wracking but he made sure to hide it under a calm expression. It was something that he perfected in those years. He still couldn’t believe that four years passed. Four years of being stuck, of having to put his life on pause.

It was strange to be back in school again. To see so many kids talking, laughing, hanging around in the halls, completely not bothered by the adults and teachers that walked by. While Sasuke still couldn’t speak without permission. He couldn’t even force himself to raise his voice enough to a normal octave, as if it were stuck on a whisper. At least he wasn’t forced to speak during the lesson and could quietly write everything down, ignoring the eyes that never seemed to leave him. He was aware that the other students were throwing glances his way but he wasn’t bothered by it.

“Sasuke,” The boy looked up when he heard Kakashi call him. “Right now we are reading and analyzing Dostoyevki’s ‘Crime and Punishment’. Try to find it and read it as quickly as you can but I won’t be too hard on you about it as it is a large story. But everyone else, I hope you already read the assigned part, if not, it will affect your grade.” Sasuke lowered his gaze to his desk. The girl, who was sitting beside him, had been quite the whole class, not trying to get his attention, which he was grateful for. He listened to Kakashi’s words, writing down every other thing.

“As we spoke before, we discussed that the story is quickly moving towards the end as the punishment sets in. It is quite interesting to see the main character slowly spiral into madness, no longer understanding what is real and what isn’t. He is haunted by nightmares of the crime he committed and he begins to believe that everyone is out to get him. With such scenes we could say that this is his punishment. The descent to madness, after committing such a horrible crime and no longer being able to handle it.” Kakashi was sitting in his chair, looking at his students as he explained. “At many points of the story we see that he chooses self-destructive coping mechanisms, such as pushing everyone away and refusing to see or talk to anyone about what’s plaguing his mind. He even contemplates death as an escape.” Kakashi got quiet for a moment and Sasuke looked up to see the man staring somewhere at the back of the class.

“We can also notice the crowded city, full of drunks, parents who beat their children and force them into beginning. This not only shows us the flawed and grotesque human nature but the stressful environment makes the main character’s situation even worse. He begins believing that he is above everyone else because of his philosophy, which leads to him trying to excuse his actions. He desperately tries to convince himself that the woman that he killed was rotten, an evil person that did not deserve to live but the thoughts that she was still a person, someone who lived, had thoughts and feelings, doesn’t leave his mind and these contrasting thoughts keep him feeling guilty.” Sasuke could no longer write as he didn’t take his eyes off Kakashi, listening to every word as if it were directly aimed at him.

“We’re starting the last part of the story this week. Next monday you will have to have finished the book. For your homework I want you to answer these questions: how the environment and the people around affected the main character's psychology, why didn’t he choose the easy way out and didn’t kill himself, how can we see that the main character is experiencing alienation? Write it down in the structure of an essay. No less than 400 and no more than 600 words. Sasuke, stay after class. Everyone else, you’re free to go.” Kakashi stood up, a paper in hand, that he was no doubt going to copy, and left the class faster than Sasuke could realize. The raven-haired boy looked down at his desk and with a barely audible sigh began putting away his notebook.

“Hey, Sasuke, right?” He looked at the girl who was sitting beside him and nodded. “My name’s Hikari, I’m the class president. Could I get your number and instagram? It’s purely for class, if I ever need to contact you.” She added quickly. Sasuke didn’t remember his phone number. He left the device charging in his bedroom as he hadn’t remembered to find it yesterday evening. He’d gotten so used to not needing it that he completely forgot about it. And he didn’t have an instagram account.

“I don’t have one.” He said honestly as he wasn’t sure if there was any purpose for him to lie.

“Ok…” The girl hummed. “Then can you make one? We have a class and school group chat there. It’s important that you’re added. All the news concerning school events or our class gets posted there.” Sasuke nodded and the girl gave him a tense smile. She was quick to put all of her things away into her backpack and leave. Right at the moment when she stood up from the desk Sasuke heard someone call out to him. He lazily turned to look back and saw a group of both boys and girls approach him.

“Hey, altar boy.” It had been a long time since he heard that name. Sasuke looked up at the blond boy. He recognized Naruto, Shikamaru, Sakura, Choji and Kiba but realized that if he were to see them while passing on the street, he wouldn’t have recognised any of them. They all changed so much. They grew up, their appearance, voices had changed. And Naruto’s voice stood out most to him. The boy sounded angry. “Where the hell were you?” Everyone’s eyes were on him, they were all waiting for an answer but Sasuke kept quiet. The silence seemed to annoy Naruto even further as Sasuke noticed his brows furrowing and his blue eyes narrowing. “Cat got your tongue? What? Don’t know what to say?” Sasuke didn’t like that accusatory tone and forcing himself to speak in a voice that’s louder than a whisper, Sasuke spoke.

“I don’t see how that concerns you.” He answered, because it truly didn’t. They stopped talking, no one tried to contact him and Sasuke had no intentions of telling any of these people about the horrors that he experienced. Naruto scoffed.

“Get a load of this guy.” Kiba muttered.

“First day back and already acting all high and mighty?” Naruto’s frown deepened and he leaned closer, nearly towering over Sasuke. “Here’s some advice for you, bastard. Don’t act like a stuck up asshole with the people that used to be your friends. You’re the new guy here, so don’t piss me off.” Sasuke didn’t react, no physical signs of feeling scared or uncomfortable. His expression didn’t change at all, he looked calm, practically bored and that infuriated Naruto even further. He didn’t say anything either, no threats, no apologies. He just stared back at Naruto, his gaze unwavering.

“Naruto,” Hinata’s voice got their attention. Naruto stared at the boy in front of him for a moment longer before tearing his gaze away to look at his girlfriend, who was standing by the classroom door. “Are we going?”

“Yeah,” Naruto answered, not throwing even a glance Sasuke’s way. “Let’s go guys.” He said and his friends followed, walking after Naruto. He noticed Sakura looking at him longer than the others did. Her face looked sad but she didn’t say anything and walked away with the others. Sasuke watched them leave and once everyone was out of the class he sighed, turning his attention back to his desk. This wasn’t how he imagined their reunion would go. Kakashi entered a few minutes later and Sasuke focused on completing the test.

“Why’d you have to say all that?” Sakura scolded Naruto as they walked down the hallway. Naruto didn’t answer, and focused his attention on the feel of Hinata’s soft hand. “It’s the first time we see Sasuke in years and that’s how you act?”

“I was just telling the truth.” Sakura scoffed and looked at Shikamaru. “Can you believe him? You said that he was a stuck up asshole when he didn’t even do anything to you.”

“C’mon, Sakura,” Kiba said. “He’s always been an asshole. Acting like he’s better than us just ‘cause he was an altar boy. Now he’s back and he didn’t even tell us where he’s been.”

“Exactly,” Naruto backed him up. “No warning, no call, not even a text. He just disappears one random day and now he’s back, acting as if nothing ever happened. Did you forget how hurt you were back then? ‘Cause I didn’t and he clearly doesn’t care. Ain’t that right?” Naruto looked at his other friends. Shikamaru shrugged and Choji didn’t meet his eyes.

“Both of you were pretty sad.” Shikamaru muttered and Sai hummed beside him.

“Well, all of this seems very interesting.”

“It’s not interesting.” Naruto shot back at the pale boy. “It’s annoying.”

When Sasuke got back home and did his homework he sat on his desk chair, staring up at the ceiling. He had already turned on his phone and made an instagram account. It felt strange holding the old thing in his hands again. That device was something he had never been very attached to and having spent years without using a cellphone he had no interest in spending his free time staring into a screen. It also felt weird having so much free time. Just the day before his daily routine consisted of chores and lessons that would take up his whole day. Every hour of it was planned out and without having a schedule in front of him, he didn’t know what to do. He was told what and when to do, he was told when he was allowed to speak and go somewhere, now the simplest task as lying down on his bed seemed strange as he wasn’t sure if he was allowed. He had forgotten what it was like to brush his teeth and shower every day, he forgot what privacy and silence meant because even if everyone was quiet at the camp it was never silent. People were breathing, coughing, moving, doing something.

Now there was nothing for him to do, no one to be aware of and make sure that no one was listening, because here, no one was standing behind the closed door and listening to what he was doing. No one was telling him to get up and clean and he felt bored. Sasuke was aware that he needed to make a new routine and that getting used to it would take time but he felt so out of place right now. Usually by this point of the day he would be exhausted from the work, physical labour and from staying outside all day. Sasuke’s eyes roamed over the white ceiling and the hanging lamp. Then, he focused on the dust that had gathered on it and he finally found what to do. When his mother knocked on his door and opened it to call him down for dinner, Sasuke was on his hands and knees, wiping away at the baseboard. She stared at him in shock for a second but didn’t comment on it.

When he came down his father and brother were already sitting at the table. Sasuke sat down in the chair that used to be his and looked at his father. While he had seen Itachi both in the morning and during his math lesson, they hadn’t spoken any more than necessary. No brotherly jokes or comments, no warm welcomes or soft encouragements on his way to school. They acted as if they were strangers, as if the only thing that they shared was a last name, and in truth, that’s exactly how Sasuke felt. He was surrounded by the people that were supposed to be his family and yet he felt as if he didn’t know these people at all. His mother put food on everyone's plates before sitting down herself. Sasuke’s plate looked uncomfortably full. He understood that this was supposed to be a normal, healthy amount of curry, and yet, when he looked at it he saw a mountain of it and he had no idea if he would be able to finish it all. He had been so full from his breakfast that he skipped lunch, and now, even though he was hungry, he was looking at his dinner and his plate looked like it held the same amount of food that he’d get throughout the whole day at the camp. Sasuke sighed and picked up his utensils. He figured, the sooner he’d eat as much as he could, the sooner he’d be excused from the table. He was about to scoop some of the rice onto his fork when his father cleared his throat. Sasuke looked up and saw the man staring straight at him.

“Since when do you not pray before eating?” Sasuke stared at the man and noticed his mother and brother looking over at him. He put down the fork and put his hands together in front of him. His father waited a moment longer, then sighed and did the same, saying the prayer that Sasuke hadn’t heard in a very long time.

 

“Sasuke’s back, isn’t that great?” Kushina said with a beaming smile on her face as she watched her son eat his dinner. Naruto shrugged and the woman frowned. “Now what’s with that reaction, huh?” Her tone of voice got louder and seemed scolding but Naruto was used to it. “When Mikoto told me last week I couldn’t wait to tell you but we wanted to surprise you and this is how you behave at seeing your best friend again?” Naruto let out an annoyed huff.

“He’s not my best friend. Kiba is.” He grumbled, not looking up at either of his parents. “And I haven’t spoken with Sasuke for years, why would I be glad?” Naruto heard Kushina click her tongue against her teeth and that annoyed Naruto even further. Why was his mother deciding who he was supposed to be friends with? Just because she was best friends with Sasuke’s mom it didn't mean that Naruto felt the same way with Sasuke. And today’s interaction proved that Sasuke doesn’t see him as a friend either. Naruto hoped to catch up with him, to find out where he’s been and that’s how Sasuke treats him? Sure Naruto might’ve been a bit angry but that’s only because Sasuke abandoned him. And the other boy didn’t even try to be friendly. If Sasuke made the decision that he doesn’t want to be friends then Naruto won’t even try. He doesn’t need the other boy, he’s got a bunch of friends.

“He was your childhood best friend, Naruto.” His mother continued in a gentler tone of voice. “Oh, why don’t we invite everyone for a friday dinner? It’s been far too long since we’ve hosted one of those and that way you guys can catch up.” Naruto fought back the urge to sigh or grumble as he picked at the vegetables on his plate.

It’s been a week and a half since Sasuke showed up. The boy mostly kept to himself, didn’t talk to anyone, didn’t go to the cafeteria during lunch. Instead, he would spend his breaks hunched over a coursebook, with earphones in his ears. It annoyed Naruto beyond belief. What was even worse, was the fact that a traitorous part of Naruto wanted to be friends with the boy. But his pride was too big and Naruto couldn’t bring himself to lower it and talk to Sasuke first. A few of their classmates tried talking to Sasuke but they clearly must’ve not liked his company as no one tried again and the other boy clearly wasn’t bothered by the fact that he was alone. Everyone had been excited at seeing a new student but after realizing that he was no fun at all they started to ignore him. Naruto sighed as he stared at Sasuke, who had his nose buried in his book. He needed to talk to the boy, even if he didn’t want to, he had to. Without much enthusiasm Naruto stood up and walked away from his group of friends. He walked over to Sasuke’s desk and it took the boy a few moments to notice him, which annoyed Naruto even more. Sasuke looked up, his face apathetic, and took out one earphone. Naruto clenched his jaw and fought back his anger.

“My mom’s hosting a dinner this friday.” He said and looked to the side, unable to look Sasuke in the eyes without getting even more upset. Logically he knew that there was no reason for him to be so angry but he couldn’t control how he felt. “Ino, Shikamaru, Choji, Sakura… Some other guys and their parents are coming too. You’re invited.” Sasuke stared at him, looking not at all bothered by Naruto’s unpleasant tone of voice.

“I have plans.” Naruto grit his teeth.

“Fine.” He turned around, before the urge to hit something took over. “Suit yourself.” Naruto grumbled and walked back to his friends who had all turned to look at him.

“Told him?” Kiba asked when the blonde boy came back to them and Naruto scoffed.

“Bastard’s busy.” Naruto leaned against his desk as he spoke. “He’ll probably be cooped up in his room studying like he used to before. He didn’t change at all in being boring.” His friends chuckled.

“You can say that again.” Kiba snickered. “Went to some fancy private school, now he won’t even hang out with anyone. He’s acting like he’s fucking better than us.” Naruto could see that Sakura was frowning at them but he ignored her.

“I wouldn’t say that.” Naruto frowned and looked at Shino. “He hasn’t done anything to justify these words.”

“Don’t tell me you’re taking that fucking nerd’s side.” Kiba grumbled. “If you suddenly wanna be buddies with him you can go and sit with that loser.”

“I’m not saying I want to be friends with him, I'm just saying you shouldn’t be so against Sasuke. You haven’t even spoken to him, you don’t know what he’s like.”

“Oh? And you suddenly know him?”

“But he is right, Kiba. You shouldn’t antagonize him for no reason.”

“Shut up, Sai, this got nothing to do with you.” The black-haired boy raised his eyebrows, the smile on his face didn’t waver, he looked amused. “He’s just some loser. I don’t get why you’re taking his side? Don’t tell me you’re in love with him or something. The bastard comes back and suddenly everyone’s talking about him.”

“That’s enough, Kiba. Just drop it.” Naruto grumbled, getting sick of this conversation.

“You’re the one who started it.” Kiba shot back and Shikamaru sighed.

“I liked it more when you guys were whining about how much you missed him. At least you’d drop it faster.”

“I never said that.” Kiba pushed himself off the table that he was leaning on and got in Shikamaru’s face, glaring at the other boy, while Shikamaru stared at him with an unamused expression on his face. “It’s Naruto who was obsessed. With Sasuke this and Sasuke that,” Kiba mocked with a whining town of voice. “And oh how much I miss Sasuke.”

“Shut up, Kiba.” Naruto growled underneath his breath.

“No ‘cause that’s exactly how you were fucking acting.”

“I said shut your mouth!” Naruto raised his voice and everyone got quiet. Kiba stared at him, his eyes a bit wide, mouth open, as if he hadn’t expected Naruto to blow up like that. His other friends were looking at him in a similar manner. Naruto realized what he had done and let out a breath, his tense shoulders slumping down and relaxing. He turned to look at the rest of the class, who were staring at him and gave a little smile as he apologized. Naruto turned back to his friends. “Seriously, Kiba, don’t annoy me.” He said in a quieter tone of voice. The only ones who hadn’t looked at all surprised were Sai, who was looking at Naruto with an annoyingly amused expression on his face and Sasuke, who hadn’t even turned around. He either hadn’t heard the commotion or simply wasn’t bothered by it and chose to ignore it, which Naruto was glad he did. As he didn’t have the slightest wish to even see Sasuke’s face right now. He felt too irritated.

 

Friday came soon after that. His mother was welcoming guests as everyone began showing up. Every family kept coming one after the other and the living room was soon full of life and chatter. While the adults greeted one another the kids found each other’s company more interesting. Naruto was talking with his friends by the couch, while his eyes roamed the parents. His dad was surrounded by Shikamaru’s, Ino’s and Choji’s fathers, Kakashi by his side, listening more than engaging in the conversation. Naruto felt a smirk tug at his lips. Seems like the only time Kakashi manages to be on time, even early, is when he’s going somewhere with his husband, Iruka. His mom had disappeared into the kitchen together with the other wifes and Naruto forced himself to bring his attention back into the conversation his friends were having. At some point the doorbell rang again and Naruto got up from the couch. He assumed that it was Kiba and his mom.

Naruto stood behind his mother as she opened the door and his smile fell when he saw familiar raven hair. Mikoto greeted Kushina with a smile and a hug, while Fugaku was as stoic as ever. Naruto looked at the door as it closed and saw Sasuke. Naruto stared while the Uchiha family took off their jackets and figured that Sasuke’s parents must’ve not allowed him to stay home and study. The boy shrugged off his jacket, hung it by the others and quietly stood behind his parents while they exchanged pleasantries. He didn’t even glance at Naruto and didn’t seem at all bothered by his stare as Naruto was sure that there was no way that Sasuke hadn’t noticed it. Kushina turned her attention to the raven-haired boy and giving him a big smile she walked over and hugged him. Sasuke didn’t immediately return it but after a few seconds he raised his hand and reluctantly put it on the woman’s upper arm. Kushina pulled back but didn’t let go of him and looked sasuke up and down.

“Oh, you’ve grown so much.” She cooed. “Just wait until Minato sees you. We’ve all missed you so much, you know? Why didn’t you call us from that school of yours, huh?” Kushina spoke without stopping or giving Sasuke a chance to answer but from Naruto’s point of view it didn’t look like the boy minded. “And you lost some weight.” She clicked her tongue. “You should take care of yourself too, not just your studies, you know? Well, don’t worry, the dinner’s big.” She squeezed his shoulders and turned to Naruto. “Well what are you waiting for? Go greet your friend.” Naruto fought back a sigh and waited until the boy came up to him as the family made their way further into the house. Sasuke was quiet as they walked into the living room, not caring for the glances that Naruto’s friend threw his way. Ino seemed to be the only one who smiled and looked genuinely happy to see him but he didn’t return the same excitement as he greeted her.

In no time at all the rest of the guests showed up and dinner started. Everyone ate and caught up with each other, happily sharing all sorts of news from their lives. Naruto was laughing at a joke that Choji made when he noticed that his friends finished their dinner and he offered to go to his room, where they could relax, away from the nosy adults. Right as they got up and began making their way out of the living room, Kushina called Naruto over to her side and ordered him to invite Sasuke with them. Naruto frowned, fighting the urge to sigh and decline as he didn’t want to make a scene here. He glanced over at the boy, who was sitting alone on the couch, not even looking at them, as his eyes roamed the adults. While they were eating Shino had asked Sasuke what he had been up to but the boy's short and uninformative answer had made them not bother asking anything more.

“I don’t think he wants to come with us.” Kushina glared at him, her lips pressed into a thin line and Naruto understood that there was no use trying to argue. He sighed as he stood up and walked over to the boy. “We’re going to my room. You wanna come?” Naruto offered, his tone of voice low and empty of any warmth and to his surprise Sasuke stood up and followed after Naruto.

Sasuke stood leaning against the far wall of Naruto’s room. The room wasn’t small but with so many people inside everyone had found the most comfortable places and sat wherever they could. He stopped listening to what they were saying. Sakura was enthusiastically explaining something but he began to zone out when he realized that he didn’t relate to any of this and couldn’t add anything useful to the conversation. He could remember that Lee brought up the topic and asked what college everyone wanted to go to after highschool, Ino whined about the part-time job she had this summer, Shino bragged about finding a new bug for his collection while Sai vaguely mentioned a new project he was working on. After that Sasuke’s mind began to wander. He noticed the dusty ceiling light and baseboard, the window that hasn’t been cleaned from the outside and with bitterness he understood how outcast he felt.

It seemed like everything changed while he was gone. Everyone was talking about jobs and studies, they were mentioning their hobbies and they were in relationships. They were all doing something, they had plans and dreams while Sasuke was still trying to get used to the fact that he wouldn’t be beaten if he spoke. Everyone had something going on for them, they were doing things while he was just… there. He wasn’t doing anything, he had no plans for himself, he had no idea of what movies and actors they were talking about. For all those years he wished to come back and see his friends again but now that it happened he felt more alone than ever. Sasuke realized that he didn’t understand them and they couldn’t understand him. He wasn’t used to these situations anymore, he couldn’t just relax and talk and have fun and no one seemed to care. It was so loud that he found it hard to even concentrate on his thoughts, he just wanted to go home and be alone.

Shino, Sai and Ino had asked him a few things but they must’ve not liked his answer as they didn’t talk to him after that. Which he was grateful for. He liked that he wasn’t forced to talk and that everyone's attention wasn’t on him but he felt lonely. Sasuke understood that if this scene was too much for him to handle, there would be no way that he could stand having everyone’s attention on him but he didn’t want to be alone while surrounded by people. At least in his room he would have his own company and he wouldn’t have to watch everyone interact while he stood by the sidelines. Sasuke swallowed and looked outside the window. It was dark already but by the sounds coming from the living room Sasuke understood that none of the adults would be getting ready to leave any time soon. He let out a deep breath and walked out the room. He could hear Ino and Naruto get quiet when he opened the door but no one stopped him as he went into the hall. The noises from the living room were loud and with practised, silent steps he walked past it and went into the foyer. He didn’t turn on the light, found his jacket, put on his shoes and left, shutting the door behind him as quietly as possible.

The air outside was chilly but Sasuke wouldn’t have called it cold. He’d been outside in colder conditions and with thinner jackets on. His first thought was to immediately go home but as he walked down the lantern lit street he realized that he hasn’t been out for a walk since he got here. That’s almost two weeks of being cooped up in his room, trying not to go insane from boredom. So he decided to take a detour. Instead of turning and going down the path to his house, he walked towards the mainstreet of their little city. The streets were full of life as cars kept driving by, people were standing by the pizzerias and cafes and walking up and down the street. Everyone was enjoying their Friday evening to the fullest and Sasuke walked slowly, taking in the unfamiliar scenes. He was slowly coming closer to the intersection of the main roads, where most of the cafes and stores were located. He could hear a soft melody playing somewhere further.

It was a calm and soft sound of a guitar. Sasuke focused on the music, letting it wash over him and bring his mind at peace. As he was getting closer he could distinguish where it was coming from and Sasuke glanced to the side where he could see a few people standing around in a half circle. They were right next to the cafe and were standing so close to the street performer that Sasuke couldn’t even see him. He continued walking, his pace slow and relaxed until he could see the musician and Sasuke stopped. He stood right in front of the young man, his eyes a bit wide as he suddenly couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

The performer raised his head and their gazes met. Suddenly Sasuke felt like he wouldn’t be able to take his eyes away even if he wanted to, so he stood there, looking at Suigetsu’s familiar violet eyes.

Chapter 12

Summary:

You can't forget the past when you mark it on your body

Notes:

Oh? A new chapter so early?

I'll see how I'll manage writing the next chapters but if all goes well they should be posted every Wednesday and Sunday

“Why don’t you read it to me, my dear.” Sasuke looked up at Orochimaru. He understood that this was an order, that he had no right to disobey unless he wanted to get beat again. He glanced down at the old, worn-down new testament in his hands. His ribs and the left side of his abdomen were covered in dark, circular bruises from the kicks. His muscles were sore from the physical labour that he still hadn’t gotten used to, his body ached from the countless beatings that he got and his head felt fuzzy from the lack of sleep. Getting another punishment was the last thing he wanted. Even if it was still painful to sit or walk after his last visit with Orochimaru, he couldn’t object when a staff member ordered him to come here. Sasuke swallowed and opened the new testament, the pages were turning yellow at the corners and they were so thin that it felt like they would rip at the slightest pull.

“The works of the apostles.” His voice trembled and Sasuke wasn’t sure if it was from the fear, the pain or the cold. “Saul’s vocation. In the meantime, while Saul was still panting with threats of killing the pupils of God, he went to the highest priest and got the scriptures for Damascus synagogues, that if on the road he would meet the followers, men and women, he could arrest them and take them to Jeruzalem.” Sasuke kept his eyes strictly on the pages, following the dark letters, even when he knew that he didn’t have to. He could recite these verses by heart, having engraved them into his mind after long and grueling hours spent learning them at the church and at home. But he didn’t dare raise his eyes and glance at Orochimaru.

Sasuke had seen the small book on the shelf last time he was here and apparently Orochimaru had taken notice and instead of immediately climbing on top of Sasuke, he handed him the testament and ordered him to read. The action itself was familiar to Sasuke but his current feeling was new. He was used to reading out of these books but he felt undeserving of this at the moment. He felt like he was filthy, like he had committed a horrible sin and that he had no right to hold this book, much less read out of it. This heavy feeling didn’t leave his chest and made his mind cloud with sadness. When Sasuke finished reading the paragraph he raised his eyes and saw that Orochimaru was no longer sitting by his desk. He furrowed his brows and looked down. The scene before his eyes morphed and suddenly Sasuke was standing by the door, his gaze locked on the wooden floor.

“What is it, my dear?” Sasuke looked up and saw Orochimaru standing in front of him. “You should be doing your chores.”

“I wanted to ask you something, sir.” Sasuke ended up on his knees, in between Orochimaru’s spread legs while the man sat on the bed.

“A favour? Those should be earned.” Sasuke felt the man’s hand tangle in his hair. Everything blurred and Sasuke got up from his knees, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. He got closer to Orochimaru, going in for a kiss, the knife in his other hand felt heavy and as the man’s tongue forced its way past his lips Sasuke pushed the knife into the man’s skin. A feeling of dread and no going back washed over him and Sasuke heard the word ‘sinner’ echo through the room.

Sasuke sat up with a gasp. He could feel that his heart was racing and his skin was coated in a layer of cold sweat. He let out a trembling breath and wiped his face with the palms of his hands, pressing at his eyes with the heels of his palms. Sasuke swallowed, his mouth was dry, and looked around the dark room. He was in a bedroom. His bedroom, back at the house. Sasuke turned on his phone and saw that it was a bit past 4am. He sighed, looking down at his hands. They weren’t covered in blood like in the dream- like in the memory- and were shaking. Sasuke clenched them into fists and got out of bed.

At some point yesterday evening his parents noticed that he was no longer at Naruto’s house and began calling him while he was talking with Suigetsu. Sasuke glanced at his phone and turned the sound off, not bothering to answer. Suigetsu chuckled at that, commenting that his rebellious phase was beginning. Sasuke ignored those words, instead choosing to go back to their conversation before they were interrupted.

“And where does that friend live?” Sasuke asked and Suigetsu grinned at the mistrusting tone of voice.

“5 minute bus ride from ‘ere.” Suigetsu stuck his hand into his jean pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He took one and lit it, letting out a puff of smoke into the cold air. “He was my brother’s friend. But like friend friend, not like those bastards. Met ‘im by surprise three days back, right when I came ‘ere. Offered me a place to stay.” Sasuke stared at the pavement in front of them. They were sitting on a bench in the main street and a few people had passed them, none spared them a glance and yet Sasuke was still wary of them. Suigetsu had told him that he left his home almost right after he got back and the white-haired boy went straight to the bus station, catching the first bus that would take him to the city that he knew Sasuke lived in.

“What if I had moved?” Sasuke wondered out loud. “What if we simply didn’t see each other here?” They hadn’t told each other their telephone numbers or full addresses, only the cities that they lived in, for all that Sasuke knew, they had no real way of contacting one another and yet Suigetsu somehow managed to do it. The boy in question shrugged.

“I ‘on’t know. But I wouldn’t have stopped trying.” He smiled. “If there’s a will there’s a way.” Sasuke felt the corners of his own lips tug into a smile.

“What about Karin and Jugo? Do you know where they are?”

“I know their cities. But I wanted to come find you first.” They fell into silence as Sasuke wasn’t sure what to say to that. Suigetsu finished the cigarette, threw the butt down on the ground and stomped on it. He let out a trembling breath and rubbed his hands together. Sasuke felt the older boy lean on him, seeking out warmth and he didn’t move, allowing it to happen. “Not sure ‘bout Jugo though. He didn’t go back to the farm but with his psychiatrist. Who knows where he’s at right now.” Sasuke felt his phone begin buzzing again and he ignored it, leaning his own weight more into Suigetsu’s side.

“What about your parents?” Sasuke asked quietly and Suigetsu hummed, glancing at the younger boy. “Do they know you’re here?” Suigetsu smiled.

“They don’t care. All it took was one argument after I got back home and now they’re back to not caring. Though I doubt they ever did.” Sasuke looked at Suigetsu, searching his expression and violet eyes for any hint of emotion that would tell him if he’ll cross a line with his other question.

“What did you argue about?”

“They don’t trust me. Thought I would start using again if I left to another city.” Sasuke was quiet for a long moment, the seconds ticked by.

“Did you?”

“No. Only light stuff.” Sasuke frowned. “The friend I’m with- he’s a plug but I ain’t buying anything from him. Only a bit of weed and an opioid, nothing hard.” Sasuke leaned away and stared at Suigetsu.

“You’ve only been here three days.” He whispered.

“And it was only one pill.” Suigetsu turned to look at him fully. “Really, Sas, it’s fine. I’m fine. I’ve got it all under control. Don’t start acting like my parents now.” Sasuke clenched his jaw and looked away. He felt Suigetsu’s cold hand go underneath his jacket and hold him at his nape. “I’m fine.” He repeated again and gave the back of his neck a squeeze. Suigetsu turned Sasuke’s head so that the boy would face him. There was a small smile on Suigetsu’s face. “What about you, huh?” Sasuke stared at Suigetsu for a few moments longer, as if searching his face and expecting to find something other than the boy’s relaxed expression.

“I feel like I’m going insane.” Sasuke muttered and looked down. He felt Suigetsu’s hand leave his neck but the boy was close enough that their knees were touching. “I can’t get used to this routine, to the people, to… no longer being at the camp.” Suigetsu didn’t cut him off or rush to say anything, allowing Sasuke to take his time and say whatever he wanted without any pressure. Sasuke pressed his tongue to the back of his teeth, sighed and looked up at the dark sky. It was a lot clearer in the camp. He couldn’t even see the stars here. “We need to find Jugo and Karin.” Suigetsu hummed.

Sasuke didn’t know how much time they spent sitting on that bench and talking. It felt like an eternity and a mere moment all at once. When they finally got up and began walking Sasuke felt the same heavy feeling as when he was saying goodbye to his friends back at the camp. He didn’t want this night to end. He didn’t want to say goodbye to Suigetsu. Even if they were in the same city now, it felt unnatural to be away from the older boy. Sasuke didn’t verbalize it but he missed the boy. He missed all of his friends, he’d spend quite a while wondering how they were doing and now all that was left was to get in contact with his other two friends. Sasuke subconsciously began turning the corners and going down the path that would lead him home. He didn’t want to go back to that house but he understood that he couldn’t invite Suigetsu over or even go with him. He could see his home a few houses down and slowed his step. He didn’t want his parents or brother to see Suigetsu. Sasuke slowed until he came to a complete stop and Suigetsu followed suit. The white-haired boy glanced at the house behind him.

“This is it?” Sasuke shook his head and motioned to the house further down the road. Suigetsu’s gaze lingered on it for a few long moments before he turned to look back at Sasuke, then he asked for Sasuke’s phone number and smiled. The raven-haired boy was silently looking at the other, wondering if he should be the first to say goodbye but not daring to make the first move yet. He didn’t want this to end and then Suigetsu leaned down and kissed Sasuke on the corner of his mouth. He pulled away, the same smile still on his face. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” It sounded as a statement, not a question or offer and Sasuke could only nod. When he walked back to his house, his mind was still on the kiss. Could he even call it that? It was so quick. Just a peck to his lips but it happened and Sasuke couldn’t stop thinking about it. Even now as he sat in the passenger seat of his brother’s car, on the way to school, it was the only thing that was on his mind.

“Father was very disappointed.” Itachi said, his voice a low mutter. Sasuke wouldn’t have called his father’s angry monologue of being a disgrace and a disappointment to the family, while simultaneously threatening to send him back to the camp as simple disappointment but he didn’t answer or object and let his brother’s words hang in the air. Sasuke was no longer bothered by the awkward silence that surrounded him. His brother didn’t bother striking up any conversations at home or at school, where he taught Sasuke’s class math, and Sasuke didn’t bother trying either. None of this was going like he hoped it would have. The only one from his family who genuinely seemed happy that he was back was his mother, he didn’t interact with Itachi and his father kept reminding him how the camp was supposed to help but it seemed like he wasn’t fixed of his attitude yet.

When Sasuke walked into class he felt Naruto’s and Kiba’s antagonizing gazes on him but he didn’t turn to glance at them. His friends were no longer his friends, barely anyone talked to him. Naruto acted like they were enemies, which put the rest of the group in a complicated situation as most of them ignored him. There were a few classmates, boys and girls, who tried talking to him but they’d lose interest the moment they’d realize that they could only get short and uninformative answers out of him. School, just like everything else here, was boring. He didn’t know a lot of the new material as Orochimaru wasn’t overly interested in their education and that left him studying every chance he got in order to catch up to everyone else. Studying was the only thing he actually had going for him. At the camp Sasuke had purpose. Ke knew what he needed to do, when he needed to do it and how he needed to do it, here, no one controlled him like that and he wouldn’t fall into the bed completely exhausted each night and that would leave him feeling like he wasn’t doing enough. At the camp he had a purpose, a dream to escape and his friends, people he could trust and count on, he didn’t have any of those things here. And he couldn’t force himself to go out of his way and socialize, he didn’t know how. It was all a grey blur, the same building, the same people, the same never ending and draining lessons. He was there, attending every lesson, doing his every assignment and yet he felt like he wasn’t doing anything. With every passing day he felt like there was no purpose for him. There wasn’t anything to fight for, nothing to live for.

He was lost in an endless cycle of waking up, doing his work, trying to force food down, staring mindlessly at the ceiling for hours on end as his insomnia only seemed to get worse until he would finally fall into restless sleep and then it would all repeat again. He had no dream to accomplish, he had no expectations to uphold. He was here, he was finally out and yet he felt like he was completely see through in this sea of mindless students. No one cared for him, no one talked with him, no one saw him. He had nothing. Sasuke was nothing here and he almost thought that it would’ve been better to stay at the camp. But one thing changed. He saw Suigetsu again and now neither of them were alone. He sat through his classes, not really listening or taking notes as one thing kept playing in his mind, one thing that finally gave him something to focus on. They had to find Karin and Jugo.

He was sitting at his desk in his room, staring blankly at his notebook, trying to understand the new mathematic’s formula when his phone buzzed with a text from Suigetsu. A couple minutes later he was downstairs, tying his shoes when his mother noticed him by the front door.

“Where are you going?” Sasuke stopped and didn’t raise his head, staring at the tiles below his feet. He hated doing this.

“I’m going out for a walk with Naruto.”

“Really?” He could hear the change in his mother’s voice as she seemed to become happier. “Dinner will be in an hour, will you come back by then?”

“No.” Sasuke put on his coat and left through the front door. He despised lying but Sasuke knew that his parents weren’t going to let him leave calmly, especially after he left without saying anything last Friday. And they didn’t know Suigetsu so they wouldn’t trust the white-haired boy. But they did know and like Naruto. His mother was actively trying to get them to be friends again, that’s why she had forced him to go with them to dinner, and if Sasuke were to say that they were beginning to hang out again it would keep his parents off his back, if not both of them then his mom at least. Naruto was putting on his shoes when his mom called him from the living room.

“I’m going to the gym and then to Shikamaru’s place.” Naruto answered and took his coat from the closet.

“You should invite Sasuke.” He could hear his mom get up from the couch and walk over to the front door. Naruto sighed and didn’t say anything as he zipped the coat up.

“Sure.” He answered and turned to his mom, a small smile on his face. He then grabbed his duffel bag with his gym clothes in it, said bye to his mom and left the house with a slight frown tugging at his lips. He wasn’t going to invite Sasuke. He wasn’t even sure if he had the boy's phone number. They weren’t friends anymore and it was annoying how much his mom pushed him to invite Sasuke everywhere. If he were to tell her that they were together she would back off. A little white lie never hurt anyone and it would give Naruto a bit of peace.

Suigetsu was waiting for him by the same bench they sat at yesterday. As Sasuke walked down the path he could see the boy looking at his phone and Sasuke’s mind immediately flashed the memory of their kiss. He’d never felt awkward around Suigetsu before and it wasn’t like this was his first kiss, Orochimaru had taken that long ago but as he came closer he wasn’t sure whether he should mention it or if Suigetsu was going to bring it up or were they not going to talk about it. When Sasuke sat down beside him, the white-haired boy pulled up an instagram profile on his phone and showed it to Sasuke. Almost immediately he recognized a familiar red-headed girl. The profile looked new as there weren’t that many pictures. She didn’t look like she changed at all, which Sasuke figured was to be expected as only a few weeks went by since they left the camp.

“Wasn’t that hard to find that bitch.” Suigetsu muttered and Sasuke looked up from the phone. “Texted her a bit an’ got her address. She asked for your number too but I ain’t give it to her.” Sasuke nodded, his gaze falling to the ground.

“You’re going to go meet her?” He asked which made Suigetsu shrug.

“Was thinking the two of us could go.” That made Sasuke meet Suigetsu’s eyes. “It’s a forty minute drive by car, would take a couple hours by bus but we could make it by tonight.”

“I don’t know…” Sasuke pressed his lips together and let out a breath through his nose as he thought.

“I mean why not? Nothing’s stopping us.” Sasuke had the money for a ticket and his parents shouldn’t call him for an hour or two but he wasn’t so sure about a couple. He also didn’t want to admit it but he had never really gone on bus rides, much less such long ones. His parents always drove him wherever he needed so he had only gone on buses on school trips. And he hadn’t been on one for so long… Sasuke glanced at the white-haired boy, who was waiting for an answer.

“Fine, let’s do it.” Suigetsu gave him a little smile and the two got up from the bench. As they walked towards the bus stop Sasuke texted his mom that he was going to stay over at Naruto’s house and he put his phone back in his pocket. The sun was starting to set, slowly moving below the horizon. When they came to the stop Sasuke had his hands in his pockets as the wind was beginning to make his fingertips freeze while Suigetsu was standing close enough to Sasuke to lean on him, as if being so close let Suigetsu stay warmer.

Naruto had his duffel bag hanging from one of his shoulders. He was standing in a bus stop close to his house and had his phone in his hand. He was texting with Hinata and smiled at the heart that she sent him. He answered with a similar one and glanced at the time in the corner of his screen. Naruto could feel how the air was turning colder with each passing day as winter approached. One of his hands was in his pocket as he shielded it from the chill outside, while the other held his phone until the bus arrived. It was a bit warmer inside the vehicle and Naruto went to the back, quickly sitting down before it started moving again. He put his bag down by his feet and took out his phone again but before he looked down again he glanced forward and his gaze caught a familiar raven-haired boy.

Sasuke was sitting in the middle, facing Naruto but his eyes were closed and his head was resting on the shoulder of a white-haired boy that Naruto had never seen before. He grit his teeth and started at the duo. The unfamiliar boy was looking out the window and didn’t seem to have noticed him. A strange feeling pooled in Naruto’s gut as he forced himself to look away and read the messages his girlfriend sent him. Sasuke was never so comfortable with him. Who was that guy? He reached his stop and got up. When he left the bus Sasuke was still resting and the white-haired boy hadn’t even glanced at him. Naruto wasn’t sure why he was so bothered by the sight but he walked to his gym with a frown on his face. Sasuke sighed and blinked his eyes open when he felt Suigetsu shaking him awake. He looked at the older boy, his brows scrunched together as he felt like he woke up from the best nap he’s had in weeks.

“The next stop’s ours.” Sasuke nodded and sat up straight, taking his weight off Suigetsu’s side. “Karin said she’ll meet us halfway.” Sasuke rubbed his eyes and sighed again, finally coming back to consciousness.

When they got out the sky was already dark. They walked down a path that had cracks in the pavement and a few street lights above them weren’t working. Sasuke glanced to the side where a bunch of old looking apartment buildings, with spray painted walls were standing. There seemed to be more light coming from the windows than from the streetlamps. This neighbourhood seemed nothing like the one he lived in. Suigetsu was walking at a calm pace, neither rushing or dragging his feet. He looked like he knew where to go so Sasuke followed him with no questions asked. The streets looked nearly empty, the only signs of life were coming from the mall in front of them. Its entry was surrounded with a yellow light and there were two men talking out front. As they walked up the stone steps Sasuke noticed a girl standing further to the side. Her head turned, their gazes met and a big smile spread across her face.

“Hey,” She nearly ran to them, almost knocking them over with the force of her hug but Sasuke didn’t complain.

“Christ, missed me that fucking much?” Suigetsu teased her and she pulled away, giving his bicep a punch.

“You wish. It was just boring, not having the chance to laugh at your stupidity.”

“Fucking whore.”

“Fucking crackhead.” Sasuke stared at the two and a small smile tugged at his lips. He didn’t even notice how much he missed this.

“So how have you been?” Sasuke’s voice was quiet as they walked down the streets, his eyes didn’t leave Karin as he took in her appearance. She was wearing an old jacket that looked too big for her and the design of it made it look like it used to belong to a man. Karin huffed.

“My new school is fucking horrible. It’s full of drug addicts, almost everyone in class is sitting with red eyes. Oh and rapists and pedos too. I can’t even go down the hall without someone offering me something or trying to fuck me. I swear, it’s like the camp but with less rules, like what the actual fuck.” Suigetsu snorted.

“Sucks to be you.”

“Yeah it does.” Karin huffed. “Can’t relax at home ‘cause my step dad’s all over me all the damn time and at school there are like three teachers that keep trying to get in my pants. It makes me miss the camp.”

“Why not let ‘em? You’re good at that kinda stuff, might get some money out of it. If you didn’t have your mind full of cocks you might actually think of something useful for-”

“Oh piss off.” Karin cut Suigetsu off before he could finish his sentence.

“Fuck off.” He answered back immediately and Karin groaned.

“They’re teachers, it's not like I could even get a lot of money out of them.” Suigetsu hummed at her words and Sasuke spoke up once a moment of silence settled between the two.

“Now that we’re getting back together we should find Jugo.” No one cut him off or denied his idea so he continued. “He said that he was sent to the camp after juvie because he killed someone. Maybe we could find a few articles about him. I doubt that he’s made any social media account so any lead would be good even if it’s his psychiatrist's phone number.”

“Oh, speaking of, Sasuke, could I get your number? Suigetsu didn’t give it to me.” Sasuke shut his mouth when Karin butt in and Suigetsu huffed beside him.

“I don’t remember it, later.”

“Aight, so we find Jugo and what then? Do we just change contacts and everyone goes back home?” Sasuke looked down at the path. He hadn’t thought about what they were going to do. “I only came to your town ‘cause I knew I could find a place to live and a way to earn money. Now Karin’s ‘ere… What now?” Sasuke should’ve understood that the questions would rise sooner or later. Suigetsu was the one with the head, even if he didn’t show it most of the time. He looked out for them, he would plan everything out and then would do something, Sasuke on the other hand was driven fully by emotions. Even if the boy learned to control when and where he should show them, he never thought before acting on them. Both Sasuke and Jugo were affected by their emotions, even if they were the calmer members of the group. Suigetsu figured that’s what made them more dangerous.

It’s hard to read their next move. Jugo could be relaxed one minute and then throw a chair at someone the next because he got irritated, Sasuke could be calm and then kill someone the next moment. Even if Sasuke had more self control than Jugo, Suigetsu still noticed that the boy would rarely think anything through. It was so clear from their first days at the camp, how he refused to follow Orochimaru’s orders because he believed that was right, how he killed Orochimaru because he thought that was right, and now he was trying to get their group back together, which Suigetsu couldn’t quite figure out the reason for just yet. He had to give it to Sasuke, the boy was stubborn like a mule and stood his ground on what he believed to be right but he also needed someone with a clearer view on things. Suigetsu sighed. Thinking about all that would only lead to him getting a headache. On moments like these he especially craved something strong enough to make him stop feeling things for a week.

“Could I come with you guys?” Suigetsu glanced up at Karin when she spoke and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t take up much space and you know that I can work. I won’t be a bother, I just… I can’t stay here. Please.” Suigetsu sighed and looked back at the path.

“So you do know how to ask nicely.” Suigetsu chuckled. “An’ it’s only when you fucking need something.” Sasuke was silent, still thinking over Suigetsu’s question. He wasn’t sure what they were going to do once they got back together, all that he did know was that he wanted this and he was going to make it happen. His intuition was telling him that they needed to be together and whatever was going to happen later, they could always deal with it when the time came. Sasuke heard Suigetsu sigh so loudly it almost sounded like a groan, then the white-haired boy stuck his hand into his pocket and took out a pack of cigarettes, he offered one to the other two, which Sasuke declined, and Suigetsu lit one for himself and Karin. “I barely find good enough places for me to sleep at an’ those places ain’t good for a girl, even if she’s a whore. How ‘bout we walk you home, you get a good night’s rest and we text in the morning ‘bout-”

“No.” The answer was quick and stern. “I don’t care if they’re good or not, I’m coming with you guys.” Suigetsu sighed, while Sasuke looked at the determined expression on her face. “If not with you then I’ll go anywhere else, you said so yourself, I could just spread my legs and any man would take me home for the night. I can work too, I can find a place to sleep at.” Sasuke winced at her words. He didn’t like the fact that she had to live with her step father but Sasuke couldn’t take her home, his parents would never allow that and his dad would send her back home immediately. Just as he opened his mouth to say something Suigetsu spoke first.

“Fine. If you’re gonna be so fuckin’ annoying ‘bout it, then I’ll think of somethin’.” Sasuke glanced at Suigetsu, the boy wasn’t looking at either one of them and Sasuke saw a smile appear on Karin’s face. She didn’t thank him but Sasuke knew that she was grateful and the three of them fell into a comfortable silence.

“Why don’t we find Jugo and then we can decide what to do next.” Sasuke said, answering Suigetsu’s previous question and the older boy sighed but didn’t object.

A couple hours later they were sitting in a McDonald’s. The sky was pitch black by that point but Sasuke didn’t feel tired. Both Karin and Suigetsu were eating burgers while Sasuke had a cup of coffee in front of him. The coffee in this place wasn’t the best but he didn’t mind and he’d given his sugar packet to Karin so that she could sweeten her tea a bit more. The three of them were quiet as they ate. Sasuke was feeling a bit drowsy and he was hoping that the coffee would wake him up a bit while the other two were too focused on their meals to talk. The night was peaceful, he could barely see anyone outside. From what he knew no trains or buses drove during the night and Sasuke was beginning to wonder how they were going to get back home. His brother would definitely notice that he wasn’t at school but would he really care? Sasuke wondered as he looked over his friends. Itachi didn’t seem to care when he disappeared at the camp, so why would he care if Sasuke missed a few classes? Sasuke's eyes stopped at the sleeves of Karin’s purple sweater. The sleeves were a bit short, only covering two thirds of her arms, which left a bit of her forearms exposed and Sasuke could see thin and very clear red lines.

He clenched his teeth, suddenly remembering his own scar on his right arm and forced himself to look away and out the window. He wasn’t going to ask, just like with Suigetsu, he had no idea what he could say to help. They were suffering, still trying to pull themselves together after the camp and none of them knew how to express their feelings or thoughts, he could understand why both Suigetsu and Karin were choosing these coping mechanisms. Why Suigetsu would rather get high than talk about his feelings, why Karin would rather mutilate her body than talk about what’s been done to her. He understood because he felt the same and that’s how he knew that nothing that he could say would convince them to stop. Sasuke took a sip from his coffee and relished in the peace and quiet of the night.

Naruto couldn’t focus on the conversation. Lee was saying something but Naruto could barely listen as his mind kept replaying the scene he saw on the bus. Who was that guy? Why was he with Sasuke? Did Sasuke get a new best friend? Why did Sasuke act like a bastard with Naruto but he looked so calm with that other guy? Naruto clenched his fist. He hated how that made him feel and he hated how he couldn’t force himself to get those thoughts out of his head. He wasn’t used to feeling this way.

“Yo, Naruto.” Naruto hummed and looked up at Choji. “What’s so interesting that you’re ignoring us.” Naruto gave a smile and chuckled, squirming in his seat on the couch.

“Nothing, just… thinking about Sasuke.”

“Sasuke?” Kiba snorted. “The hell’s so interesting about that nerd?” Naruto didn’t answer and fought back the urge to shrug or defend himself because in truth he didn't know himself why he was so pulled towards the raven-haired boy. He was quiet, Naruto barely knew anything about him and that made him curious but he couldn’t understand why he felt so jealous. Naruto had everything he could dream about and yet he still craved for Sasuke to look at him and to be friends with him.

“He just gets on my nerves.” Naruto shook his head as he spoke and looked back up at his friends.

“You can say that again.” Kiba grinned. “And have you seen his eyes? Fucking hell, the way he looks at us makes my skin crawl. So fucking creepy.”

“Sasuke?” Lee asked, quirking a bushy brow.

“A dude from our class.” Naruto explained.

“Me, Naruto, you and Kiba share biology class with him.” Shikamaru added and leaned back in his armchair, resting the back of his head against the palms of his head.

“Yeah and he’s a real bastard.” Kiba grumbled. “Someone should knock him down a few pegs.” The brown-haired boy grinned.

Chapter 13

Summary:

Could you really call it a bad choice if it feels so good?

Sasuke rubbed his face and pressed his palms against his eyes. He was exhausted, the sun was shining in his eyes through the window and he felt like he could just drop dead at any moment. He got no sleep last night and that only added to the already minimum amount of rest that he got. They took the first train home and got back here at dawn. He’d missed his first class and Sasuke hadn’t bothered going home to shower or even change his clothes. The thought of just skipping for the whole day, going home and sleeping seemed appealing but he knew that his mother was home and she would be curious as to why he was home and not at school. Suigetsu and Karin had walked him to the front gate and then left together to the apartment where Suigetsu was staying. They were probably sleeping right now and Sasuke felt extremely jealous.

 

“Sasuke.” He dropped his hands down to his desk and looked up at Kakashi. “Please read what you wrote down for question 7.” Sasuke stared at him for a long moment and then muttered.

“I didn’t do it.” Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

“You didn’t do your homework?”

“No.” Kakashi looked at him a moment longer, then looked down at a sheet of paper in front of him and scribbled something down. “Ryuha, please answer.” Sasuke sighed and forced himself to look down at his notebook. He should be writing something down but he couldn't seem to force himself.

When lunch came Naruto was in the cafeteria with his friends. Hinata was sitting next to him on his left, while Sai was on his right. Kiba had just sat down in front of him with his tray with food when Naruto’s phone buzzed with a text. He pulled it out, while Sakura was saying something to the table.

“Haku’s hosting a party.” He suddenly spoke, cutting her off. Sakura glared at him but Naruto didn’t notice and continued. “He’s inviting us, yall wanna go?”

“Haku?” Shikamaru’s eyebrows furrowed in distaste. “You’re still hanging out with him?”

“Hm? Well yeah, he’s my friend.”

“Why would we go to his party? He’s bad news.” Sakura grumbled and stabbed a few salad leaves onto her fork. Naruto frowned at that.

“Hey, don’t say that. He’s a good guy.”

“Isn’t his boyfriend a drug dealer?” Ino wondered out loud.

“Well- I don’t know. But either way it’s his boyfriend that’s the problem. Haku’s good.” Naruto shot back.

“I heard he’s using too.” This time it was Shino who spoke and made Naruto let out an exasperated sigh.

“Well I don’t know where you’re hearing that shit.” Naruto defended the boy and Shikamaru sighed as he leaned away from the table.

“C’mon, Naruto, we both know he’s got needles in his kit. That’s what makes his parties so fun, no weed just the hardcore stuff. Stay away from him, he’s bad news.”

“Those are only rumors.” Naruto’s voice got tense and he could feel Hinata begin to rub his hand in a soothing motion but it didn’t help much. He wasn’t going to let anyone bad mouth Haku, he’s Naruto’s friend and it’s not his fault that his boyfriend is surrounded by bad rumors. “Haku’s real sweet and he’s super nice too. Just because a bunch of assholes took drugs to his parties and his boyfriend’s weird it doesn’t mean that Haku’s like that.” Naruto could see Shikamaru sigh and some of his other friends were looking away from him.

“When’s the party?” Sai asked and Naruto lit up with a smile.

“Tonight. You coming?” Sai hummed.

“Wish I could but I’m going out of the city.” Naruto let out a disappointed noise and then Kiba spoke.

“You can count me in. I ain’t scared, not like these losers.” Shikamaru sighed and leaned his elbows on the table as Sakura began to speak.

“No one’s scared. He’s just surrounded by bad rumors and I don’t want to fuck up my reputation. Weed’s one thing but other drugs..”

“Me and Shikamaru are going.” Naruto smiled at Choji while Shikamaru glared at the larger boy.

“I never said I-”

“It’s not like we have anything better to do.” Shikamaru stared at him for a few long moments but finally gave in and sighed.

By the time the school day ended and Sasuke got back home, he barely said anything to his mother, denied lunch and went straight to his bedroom. He let his book bag drop next to his bed and he got on his bed, face down, not caring enough to change out of his clothes. He would spend most nights awake staring up at the ceiling, some nights he wouldn’t sleep at all but this was pushing 34 hours of no sleep at all and a part of Sasuke felt grateful for this exhaustion that allowed him to pass out. Sasuke was woken up by his phone buzzing next to his head. He groaned and rubbed his cheek against his pillow but the buzzing didn’t stop. Sasuke reached out to grab his phone, his eyes blinking and squinting as he tried to adjust to the bright screen. He saw Suigetsu’s name on the screen and with a sigh he pressed on the green ‘accept call’ button.

“Yes?” Sasuke’s voice was hoarse when he spoke.

“Hey… Were you sleeping?” Sasuke hummed and let his head fall back to the pillow. “Well get your ass up, the dude I’m with ‘s having a party, come ‘ere.” Sasuke groaned as he turned over and laid on his back, blinking his eyes open. His room was dark and his curtain was open, making the street lamps shine some light in. Sasuke pulled his phone away from his ear and saw that it was almost 9pm. He let out a breath and rubber his face with his free hand.

“I still have to study. I didn't even do my homework and-”

“Oh, c’mon, Sas.” Suigetsu cut him off and Sasuke could hear music playing in the background. “You’re already smart, you don’ need to study. An’ you’ve got the whole weekend ahead of you, so c’mere and enjoy your friday night.” He was quiet for a few seconds and then sighed.

“Fine, send me the address.”

“One sec.” Sasuke looked back at his phone screen and saw the message.

Their call ended and Sasuke swung his legs over the side of his bed, getting up. He put his phone to charge and didn’t bother closing the curtains, instead he took some clean clothes from his closet and walked straight to the bathroom down the hall. The house was quiet, and Sasuke calmly finished his shower, blow dried his hair, and walked back to his room. Every door was shut but Sasuke could hear a faint sound coming from his parents’ bedroom and he figured that they were watching Tv. There was light coming from underneath Itachi’s door and Sasuke glanced at it momentarily before going into his room. He took his phone, shoved it in his pocket and without making a sound he walked towards the front door. Sasuke put on his shoes and jacket but didn’t zip it as he felt warm with the black hoody on and locked the door. The air outside was cold but Sasuke felt fine as long as the wind didn’t blow. He took out his phone to glance at the address again and walked towards the bus stop.

When Naruto and his three friends showed up at the party the first thing he noticed was the amount of people. The apartment was large, four bedrooms in total but there were people, who were slick with sweat rubbing against Naruto each time he tried to turn and walk somewhere. He realized that this was the first time he’s been at Haku’s house, or rather his boyfriend’s house, and glanced around. The music was loud and he could see that there were bottles of beer almost everywhere he looked. Kiba wasn’t shy in taking the first can of beer he saw and opening it and Naruto couldn’t fall behind. It didn’t start as a competition but Kiba finished his drink faster than Naruto and then the blond boy chugged his down and took another one. Soon they were both tipsy and suddenly the stuffy atmosphere of the apartment didn’t bother them. With those drinks in his system Naruto could feel himself begin to dance, not caring for the people around him. A part of him was even glad that Hinata didn’t agree to come with them. Naruto didn’t know any of these people, most of them were older, no doubt friends of Haku’s boyfriend and he’d seen a few people snorting something from the table in the room next door. This place was not suited for his girlfriend and he could relax, knowing that she wasn’t here and no one was going to hit on her. When he voiced those thoughts to his friends Kiba laughed.

“You don’t gotta worry about the party but the school.” Naruto scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “You know how many guys want to hit on her? You’re fucking lucky, scored yourself a hotty. Everybody wants her ‘cause of those huge boobs” Naruto chuckled and tried to ignore the rising anger from hearing Kiba talk about his girlfriend’s body.

“Yeah, well we’re going strong so they’d have to go through me first if they'd want to get to her.” Kiba snorted.

“You might think that but watch out, maybe she won’t want to be with you if she sees someone better.” This time Naruto frowned but before he could say anything about Kiba’s strange comment, the brown-haired boy spoke again. “Hey, ain’t that Sasuke?”

Naruto followed his gaze and saw a familiar face standing past the doorway into the living room, leaning on the wall of the hall. He had his arms crossed over his chest and was looking down at his phone. He looked as he always did, his dark eyes looked bored and his expression was unreadable. But then he looked up from his phone and turned his head to the side. The same white-haired guy Naruto saw on the bus came up to Sasuke, a big grin on his face and something flashed across Sasuke’s face, it almost looked like his expression softened.

“Hey,” Sasuke looked up at Suigetsu, who walked over to him with a can of beer in hand, and put his phone back in his pocket. It was around 10 pm when he got here and he texted Suigetsu immediately. “Not a big fan of parties?” Sasuke shrugged but he knew that Suigetsu must’ve seen it on his face.

“The music’s not to my taste.” Suigetsu laughed. It also seemed too crowded. Too many people, practically shoving one another each time they moved, and the air felt hot and stuffy but Sasuke didn’t comment on that, he was sure Suigetsu could guess his thoughts anyway.

“Well I’m glad you came. I missed you.” Sasuke fought back the urge to smile.

“Where’s Karin?” Sasuke asked, practically having to shout to speak above the music and he already knew that he’ll wake up with a sore throat tomorrow. Suigetsu shrugged and pulled something plastic out of his pocket.

“Somewhere around.” He said and took something pink out of a packet, quickly putting it in his mouth. “You should relax.” Suigetsu looked up at Sasuke. “Enjoy the party.” Sasuke was about to shrug, his lips parted as he tried to say something but then Suigetsu leaned down and captured Sasuke’s lips in a kiss.

He was taken by surprise, Sasuke’s eyes widening but then he relaxed, almost by instinct, he let his eyelids lower, almost shutting his eyes. Suigetsu’s lips pressed against his more confidently than last time and when Sasuke felt the other boy’s tongue, he relaxed his jaw and let Suigetsu part his lips. Suigetsu’s hand cradled the side of his face, thumb slowly brushing his cheek and Sasuke raised his hands, taking hold of the older boy’s shirt. Then Sasuke felt something else enter his mouth and he frowned and pushed Suigetsu away. For a moment it felt like the older boy wasn’t going to move away but he gave in and allowed to be pushed away but his hand still stayed on Sasuke’s face. The gaze in his violet eyes was relaxed and he looked pleased with himself. The thing that Sasuke realized was a pill was still in his mouth and he fought back the urge to spit it out.

“It’s to relax.” Suigetsu reached the can of beer toward him and Sasuke stared at it, hesitation clear on his expression. He looked back at Suigetsu. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing strong.” The white-haired boy grinned at him and finally, curiosity got the better of him and Sasuke took the can, swallowing the pill with a gulp of beer. Suigetsu’s grin widened and the boy lowered his hand to squeeze Sasuke’s shoulder. “If you feel sick tell me.”

In a matter of minutes Sasuke noticed how his muscles relaxed and he suddenly felt like he was wrapped in a warm blanket, his mood feeling better. The music seemed more fun to listen to, the people didn’t bother him as much and Sasuke actually felt like he was having fun. He laughed at the stupid jokes someone said and didn’t mind when someone slung their arm over his shoulders. His vision blurred at the corners and a pleasant buzz took over his thoughts as he sat down on a sofa in front of a table, a mirror with white lines on top of it. He didn’t even notice how the music got quieter and there were suddenly less people around. Sasuke blinked and rubbed his eyes, sighing. He hadn’t even noticed how he rested his head on the arm of the couch, lying down. Sasuke looked to his side and saw Suigetsu sitting by his feet. He noticed Karin sitting with her legs underneath her on an armchair and there were three other men he didn’t recognise. Sasuke suppressed a groan as he pushed himself to sit up, he felt calm and rested, as if he’d slept for the last 20 hours. Suigetsu noticed him moving and looked to the side, giving Sasuke a small smile and Sasuke noticed what looked like a straw, that was rolled from a piece of magazine, in the boy’s hand.

Sasuke didn’t return the smile as he still felt like he couldn’t form a single thought and there was a strange taste at the back of his throat. Sasuke swallowed and scrunched his nose at the taste. He heard someone chuckle.

“Not a fan of K?” Sasuke didn’t recognise the voice nor did he answer. Instead he raised his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes, pressing his fingers at the inner corners of his eyes.

“I know some experienced dudes who never use it.” This time Sasuke heard Suigetsu speak. “Hate the taste or sum’ shit.” Sasuke took his hands away from his face and felt the couch dip next to him. He glanced to the side and saw a long haired boy sitting beside him, putting a bundle of cloth on the table. As he pulled his hands away the edges of the cloth fell apart and a few syringes, a spoon and a short rope were inside on the table. The boy glanced at him and smiled.

“You in?” His voice was soft and his face looked kind, a complete contrast to the situation. Sasuke gently shook his head.

“I don’t shoot up.” The boy hummed.

“So you only snort?” He asked and Sasuke stayed quiet for a few seconds, looking at the table as the syringes were taken one by one.

“Not really.” Sasuke watched with distaste as Suigetsu picked up a spoon and a bag of white powder. “I think I’ll go.” He muttered while Suigetsu put the powder in the spoon.

“Go home while high and smelling like booze?” Suigetsu asked but his focus remained on the spoon as he poured a bit of water on it. “Don’t think your old man ‘ll appreciate that.” Sasuke could see Karin sit up straighter, clearly, also displeased with the idea of him leaving.

“I can be quiet.” Another person held a lit lighter below the spoon and even though Sasuke couldn’t see Suigetsu’s face he could imagine the older boy’s amused expression when he spoke.

“Just stay with me.”

“Yeah,” The long haired boy beside him agreed, as he smiled and turned to face Sasuke. “There are more than enough rooms. I’m sure Zabuza won't mind, right?” The boy glanced to the side and Sasuke followed his gaze to a man sitting on the opposite side of the table.

“Sure.” The man didn’t take his eyes away from a person holding a syringe while he spoke. Haku’s smile widened and he leaned against the back of the couch, taking Sasuke’s hand in his. Sasuke eye’d the boy and then turned his gaze back to the table where another man was using the rope to tie his upper arm. Sasuke let out a breath and stood up, walking out of the room just as the man grabbed a syringe.

He walked out into a hall and the apartment was cool and empty. The only people who were left were the little group in the living room. The lights were off and the windows were open in every room. Sasuke inhaled a deep breath and stepped into the kitchen. The sky outside was dark and the red clock on the stove showed that it was 2am. Sasuke walked closer to the window and stared at the empty yard, his mind still pleasantly empty. Then he heard steps and looked back to see the same long haired boy coming closer to him.

“Not a pleasant sight to see, huh.” He muttered as he walked over to Sasuke’s side which made Sasuke shrug. It wasn’t exactly something that he wanted to look at. “You’re with Suigetsu, right?” The boy opened the fridge and the white light from inside lit up the room.

“Yeah.”

“I heard a lot about him. I’m Haku by the way.” The boy- Haku- took out a plate with a few pizza slices on it and closed the fridge.

“Sasuke.” Haku nodded and put down the plate on the counter, taking one slice from the top.

“If you want, feel free to grab one.” Haku stepped closer to the window and took a bite of the pizza. Sasuke glanced at the counter and for a moment a thought of whether he deserved to eat flashed in his mind but it disappeared as quickly as it came and Sasuke reached for the slice.

“Are you friends with Suigetsu?” Sasuke asked as he looked out to the yard again and from the corner of his eye he could see Haku shrug.

“Not really. He’s Zabuza’s friend more than mine.” Sasuke remembered that both his friends stayed in the living room together with the men. “Mostly only people that Zabuza invited stay after the party.”

“Is Suigetsu shooting up?” He asked before he could stop himself and Haku glanced at him.

“Could be.” He muttered and stepped away from the window, leaving the pizza plate on the counter. Sasuke stared at Haku’s back and as the boy disappeared into the hall Sasuke went after him. Haku walked into another room, cool from the open windows and sat down on a small sofa. Sasuke could see the outline of a twin sized bed on the other side of the wall. He glanced at the shadowy room and sat down next to Haku.

“What are they taking?” Haku pulled his feet up on the couch and leaned against Sasuke, getting comfortable. The boy’s skin felt warm, almost flushed, compared to the room.

“H.”

“Heroin?” Sasuke felt Haku nod against his shoulder. “Heard that’s bad stuff.” The boy beside him was quiet for a long moment.

“It’s amazing when you first start but it’s so easy to get addicted to and so hard to get out of it once it gets a hold on you.” Haku’s voice was quiet, a clear tiredness in it. Sasuke hummed in consideration and let his right cheek rest against the top of Haku’s head. A few seconds of silence settled between them until Sasuke shifted, getting up from leaning on Haku and asked,

“Could I use the shower?” Haku hummed and looked up at him, the boy looked as if he had been dozing off. Sasuke had showered right before coming here and yet he felt like his skin was covered in a thick layer of sweat and oils, making him feel gross all over.

“Hm.. yeah… Go down the hall, first door on the right.”

As he walked down the hall, he could see that there was light still coming from the living room but Sasuke didn’t go far enough to look at what they were doing, instead he went into the bathroom, blinking at the bright light and turned on the water. He still felt a bit strange. As he let the water pour over him, he felt a bit better but he couldn’t quite say what was wrong with him in the first place. He was a bit drowsy and felt thirsty, the strange taste was still there, like an annoying aftertaste of something bitter in the back of his throat and if that weren’t enough he felt like the way from his nose down to his throat was all scratched up. Sasuke sighed and lied down in the bath when the water filled it up enough. He was tired but that feeling had become so common to him that going to bed didn’t even cross his mind. He stared up at the grey, cracked ceiling and wondered about Suigetsu. Was the white-haired boy using again? It felt like a stupid thing to question. Why else would Suigetsu stay there if he wasn’t. And Karin, was she taking part in it too?

Sasuke sighed and let his head rest against the corner of the tub. This wasn’t how he imagined his life back home would be like. He still had no idea where Jugo was, it had barely been a month since they got back and Suigetsu was back on drugs and Karin was cutting herself. Sasuke understood that it was because they didn’t know how to deal with their thoughts, feelings and the memories of what happened to them and he knew that this wasn’t good but he wasn’t going to stop them for the same reason that he didn’t stop himself from trying drugs. He simply saw no other option. He couldn’t imagine a future for himself and he had a sneaking suspicion that his friends felt the exact same way. The water in the bath was getting colder when the door to the bathroom opened and Sasuke flinched before he could recognise Suigetsu.

“There you are…” The white-haired boy muttered. “Was getting worried that you had a bad trip.” Suigetsu took hold of the hem of his shirt and took it off in one quick motion. “Make room for me.” Sasuke didn’t move much other than spreading his legs a bit wider to give Suigetsu some space in the back of the bath. The other boy pulled his pants down and Sasuke noticed how his pupils were pin pricks in his violet eyes. Sasuke clenched his jaw and watched as Suigetsu got in, trying to get comfortable in the limited amount of space. “Christ this shit’s cold. You taking an ice bath?” Suigetsu grumbled and turned around to reach for the faucet behind him. He turned on a hot stream of water and looked back at Sasuke.

“I don’t want you taking that stuff.” Suigetsu grinned, though there was no happiness in his eyes. His gaze didn’t soften like it normally did when he looked at Sasuke.

“I’m an addict.”

“That’s not an excuse, you were clean for years.” Suigetsu chuckled and straightened out his legs a bit.

“Just ‘cause I had no way to take ‘nothing, it don’t mean that I was clean. I was still addicted.” Suigetsu’s smirk didn’t fall as he spoke, keeping his eyes on Sasuke. “I still wanted it, jus’ couldn't get it.”

“Why can’t you use the lighter stuff like you did at first? There’s nothing good in using H.”

“It’s stronger and hits the brain a lot quicker than anything else.” Suigetsu explained but stopped when he noticed Sasuke’s frown. “Relax. I can control myself.” Sasuke sighed and looked away, staring at the white cupboard near the bath.

“That’s what they all say.” He grumbled and felt Suigetsu’s hand pet his thigh. “Did Karin shoot up too?”

“Nah…” Suigetsu hummed and didn’t take his eyes off Sasuke’s pale skin. “She tried some coke and that’s it.” The white-haired boy smiled after that. “It’s real fucking great having a plug as a friend, y’know. He’s got all the good stuff, without any shit mixed in. The coke we got from him, you could literally see the crystals. It’s fucking amazing.” Suigetsu’s grin widened and he looked back at Sasuke’s leg, petting it as if it were a comforting motion for him. “And I didn’t see you scolding Karin ‘cause she’s cutting.” Sasuke sighed and looked back up at the ceiling. “You’re no better yourself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sasuke felt Suigetsu’s hand stop and squeeze.

“It’s been a month, at least the two of us are tryin’ to look normal. I haven’t seen you eat anything since we met again.” Sasuke let out an annoyed breath.

“If you’re trying to say that I have an eating disorder then you’re wrong. I just eat less after the camp. And I ate not long ago. With Haku.” Suigetsu hummed at that but Sasuke could tell that the other boy didn’t sound convinced. “We’re all fucked, ok? I’m not saying that I’m not but I just don’t want either of you to take it too far.” He could feel Suigetsu resume the petting. “Enough with this conversation, I’m tired.”

“Then go sleep.” Sasuke could hear the grin in the older boy’s voice. “My room’s down the hall.”

“I can’t.” Sasuke grumbled and lifted his wet hands to rub at his face, muffling his voice. “I’m tired all the damn time but I can’t sleep.” Sasuke lowered his right arm to the water but kept his left forearm over his eyes while he leaned his head against the edge of the tub again. “Sometimes it makes me think that the only way out is to kill myself… this is so annoying.” Sasuke felt Suigetsu squeeze again.

“Well, don’ do that. I’d be sad.” Sasuke snorted.

“That's it? You’d just be sad?” He looked down at Suigetsu, a small smile tugging at his lips and he saw the older boy shrug.

“Yeah, I like you.” Suigetsu stopped moving his hand and looked up at Sasuke. “‘Aight. You’re right. We’re all fucked in the head and not eating a lot ‘ain’t the same as using heroin but it ain’t nothin’ good either. So fatten up and I might ditch the needles.” Sasuke smiled, looking at Suigetsu, his eyes half lidded.

“Fine but no promises.” Suigetsu laughed, his voice echoing through the small room.

“Then no promises from me either.” Before Sasuke could think to say anything else Suigetsu moved, making the water shift and leaned down to plant his lips on Sasuke’s. He was taken by surprise for a mere moment but then Sasuke closed his eyes and answered back, trying to match Suigetsu’s hungry and quick pace.

Suigetsu put his hand just beneath his ear, holding the boy’s jaw while his thumb stroked Sasuke’s cheek. Sasuke had his eyebrows furrowed, just enough to have a line form between them as he focused on the way Suigetsu nipped at his bottom lip and pushed his tongue in Sasuke’s mouth. It was fast but Sasuke wouldn’t have called it very rough. It was completely different from how Orochimaru used to kiss him as the man would always take his time, savouring every second as if he was trying to taste Sasuke’s whole mouth. Suigetsu’s hand was holding his face in place, keeping him perfectly still for the kiss but it didn’t feel like Sasuke was being held down or that he’d be unable to move if he wanted to. The white-haired boy also had his other hand on the edge of the tub, keeping himself up and not putting his weight on the other boy. Suigetsu sucked on Sasuke tongue and the raven-haired boy put his hand just beneath Suigetsu’s throat, right on the middle of his collarbone and pushed the boy off. It looked like Suigetsu wasn’t going to stop any time soon and even though it took a second, Suigetsu was persuaded by the push and he reluctantly pulled away. The white-haired boy’s eyes shifted from Sasuke’s eyes to his lips and he swallowed, feeling lost in Suigetsu’s violet ones.

“Let’s go to the room.” Sasuke doubted that it would be comfortable to stay in the bathroom. Suigetsu leaned back down, planting a quick kiss on his lips and pulled away. He got out of the tub and didn’t bother drying himself off. Suigetsu took his clothes off the ground and looked back at Sasuke as the boy also stepped out of the bathtub. Sasuke reached for the knob that would allow the water to drain and then grabbed his pants, pulling them up. He pushed his boxers into a pocket in his pants and right as he put on his shirt, that stuck uncomfortably to his wet skin, Suigetsu pushed the door open and grabbed him by the wrist.

They passed the living room and Sasuke noticed the three men lying on the couch and on the armchair, all of them looked completely out of it. He didn’t see where Karin was but he didn’t have much time to wonder as Suigetsu closed the door. The white-haired boy’s lips were back on him again and Sasuke dropped his hoodie to the floor and grabbed onto the front of Suigetsu’s damp shirt as he was pushed towards the bed. Suigetsu shoved his hands underneath Sasuke’s shirt, his cold palms pet up his sides, making Sasuke shudder at the touch, and pulled Sasuke’s shirt over his head, momentarily breaking their kiss. Sasuke laid down on the bed, his hands tangling in Suigetsu’s long hair and their kiss resumed. Suigetsu unbuttoned his pants and as he began pulling them down, he pulled away from the kiss.

“I don’ have any lube.”

“It’s fine.” Sasuke answered, barely even thinking about it. Orochimaru took him dry many times. He was ripped apart almost all the time but he was sure he could handle it. He was used to the pain of not being to walk or sit and he wanted Suigetsu, so this wasn’t going to deter him.

Suigetsu huffed out a laugh as Sasuke tried to pull him back down to the kiss and instead of resuming it the white-haired boy put two fingers to Sasuke’s lips. Sasuke parted his lips and let Suigetsu’s cold fingers enter his mouth. He slicked the digits while Suigetsu pressed on his tongue and the white-haired boy’s head lowered to kiss at Sasuke’s jaw, moving down to his neck, licking at his pulse point. Sasuke let out a breathy moan at the feeling and Suigetsu moved lower, he kissed a spot on the lower side of Sasuke’s neck and he felt Suigetsu’s mouth open before his teeth sunk down, biting the same spot. Sasuke sucked in a breath, pushing Suigetsu’s fingers out of his mouth while his other hand pulled the boy’s head back by his hair.

“Oh, I didn’t like that.” Suigetsu stared at him for a moment and then smiled, chuckling. He leaned back down to Sasuke’s neck, licking and kissing while his nose nuzzled against Sasuke’s jaw and his hand moved down to inbetween Sasuke’s legs.

His slick fingers circled the rim while his teeth grazed Sasuke’s soft skin but didn’t bite down, then he pushed in and Sasuke let out a shuddering breath. Suigetsu pumped his fingers in and out while his lips didn’t leave Sasuke’s neck. The hunger and the quickness hadn’t disappeared but Suigetsu was careful in a way that Orochimaru never was. Then he took his fingers out and glanced at Sasuke’s face.

“You sure it’s fine? Maybe you want to wet my dick first?” Suigetsu asked, his voice a whisper.

“I said it’s fine. Just do it.” Sasuke raised his hands and wrapped them behind Suigetsu’s neck, his one hand going into the boy’s hair. Suigetsu let out a breath that sounded like a chuckle and a quiet affirmative. He raised his right hand up and licked his palm, then Suigetsu lowered his hand down and slicked his dick up.

Sasuke held his breath as he felt Suigetsu’s head push against his entrance and then go in. He let out a trembling exhale at the burning stretch and leaned his head back, his mouth falling open in a quiet moan. Suigetsu moved, the first few thrusts were slow and gentle and once Sasuke got used to the stretch Suigetsu picked up the pace. His thrust were fast and shallow, barely pulling out before pushing his whole length back in. Suigetsu was leaning on one of his hands while the other took hold of Sasuke’s cock, stroking it from base to head. The raven-haired boy gasped and his blunt nails dug into Suigetsu’s skin. He looked up at the ceiling, his eyes fighting to stay open. Suigetsu was quick in chasing his own pleasure and even quicker while helping Sasuke reach his own. The white-haired boy’s fingers weren’t as cold as before and Sasuke could feel the rougher texture of calluses, earned from years of hard work in the camp and from the guitar. Suigetsu still smelled like cheap alcohol and Sasuke pressed his cheek against the side of Suigetsu’s head as the boy’s fingers took hold of the head and his hips bucked up, coating Suigetsu’s palm in sticky cum.

Suigetsu held him though it and then put both of his arms on either side of Sasuke’s head. He picked up the pace until his hips pressed flush against Sasuke’s ass. Suigetsu let out a low sigh that sounded like a grunt. He stayed like that while his hips rocked in shallow thrusts and Sasuke felt warmth pool inside of him. Suigetsu sighed and pulled out, dropping next to Sasuke on the bed. The two of them laid there, trying to catch their breaths and recover from their release. The bed wasn’t large and they had to stay pressed up against one another in order not to fall but Sasuke didn’t mind. He shifted, lying on his side to get a bit more room and sighed as his head hit the pillow. He felt Suigetsu’s colder hands wrap around his warm waist and pull him closer. The white-haired boy pressed against Sasuke’s back and let out a breath as he nuzzled the back of Sasuke’s neck.

Suigetsu barely felt the cold air of the room as Sasuke’s hot skin was all that he could focus on. The warmth made the tiredness more known and it took Suigetsu barely a few minutes until he fell asleep. While Sasuke laid staring at the dark, taking in the silhouette of the closet. Sleep didn’t come to him as easily as it did for Suigetsu but he felt at peace as he laid in the other boy’s arms.

 

Naruto walked to school hand in hand with Hinata and they parted at the front of the class and both of them went to their friend groups. Naruto said ‘hi’ to his friends and glanced towards the front of the class where he saw that Sasuke’s seat was empty. Naruto stared at it. Usually the raven-haired boy was always in class by the time Naruto came. He swallowed and forced himself to look back at his friends but he didn’t hear what they were saying as his own mind wandering somewhere else. He couldn’t help but be worried. Haku’s parties weren’t for the weak and he hoped that nothing bad happened to Sasuke. The whole weekend passed so even if the other boy did take something it should’ve passed by now, unless he got so sick that he ended up in the hospital. Naruto sighed and looked out the window. Some time later the bell rang and the door opened. Naruto looked back, expecting to see Kakashi there, only to see Sasuke. The boy walked to his desk as if nothing was wrong, acting like he always did and Naruto clenched his jaw. He pushed himself off the table he was leaning on and walked over to Sasuke’s desk. The boy took out his books out of his backpack and only then glanced at Naruto.

“So was that your boyfriend at the party?”

Chapter 14

Summary:

New friends, new experiences, new enemies

“What?”

“You heard me.” Naruto’s voice was loud enough for the whole class to hear and he noticed his friends’ gazes on him and his classmates going quiet. “Is he your boyfriend?” Sasuke stared at him, his expression apathetic and completely calm. No frown and no confusion as if he felt no interest or concern for this conversation. That annoyed Nartuo even more.

“I’m not gay.”

“So was that an ugly girl?” Naruto snorted and Sasuke slowly shifted in his chair to face Naruto more comfortably.

“Even if he were, I don’t see how that would concern you.” The bitter smile that was on Naruto’s face disappeared completely and he clenched his jaw. the same thing that Sasuke said when he first got back. He wasn’t at all interested in sharing anything with Naruto and that annoyed the blonde boy, not only because he couldn’t get what he wanted but also because he couldn’t understand his own feelings and why he felt so entitled to Sasuke’s time and attention. He knew that he didn’t deserve it the same way that Sauke didn’t deserve to see Naruto happy and smiling because they weren’t friends. They were simple classmates, they barely knew each other and yet the growing jealousy left Naruto feeling sour every time he thought about Sasuke and that white-haired boy.

“It doesn't.” Naruto’s voice was tense when he spoke. “Just wanted to make sure that the girls in class already know that you have someone shoving their tongue down your throat.” Sasuke raised an eyebrow, looking completely unamused by Naruto’s words, which angered him even further. The silence stretched as Naruto glared at the boy and Sasuke refused to say anything, the air was tense between them and then the classroom door opened.

“Get to your seats, everyone,” Kakashi spoke as he walked into the class and with his anger still seering Naruto turned and walked to the back of the class. “Let’s get this lesson started.”

When class finished Naruto took Hinata’s hand and stormed out of class. The girl looked at him with her eyebrows pinched and a worried expression on her face.

“Is everything ok?”

“Everything’s fine.” Naruto still sounded upset and Hinata didn’t look convinced by his answer. Just as the girl was about to say something else she was cut off by Kiba as the boy ran up to them and laughed.

“Man, that was good.” The brown-haired boy chuckled but Naruto didn’t even turn to look at him. “And it’s about fucking time. Bastard’s been getting on my nerves since he got here. Jus’ didn’t think you’d actually mention the dude from the party.” Naruto scoffed.

“I was nice long enough and if he’s gonna act like a fucking bastard then I’m going to treat him like one.” Naruto felt Hinata squeeze his hand. “The way he looks at me and his fucking eyes…” Naruto huffed. “It’s all so annoying. I’ll fucking show him what happens when he talks to me like that.”

“What are you talking about?” Hinata asked. “What guy from the party? What are you going to do?” Her worried expression turned into a frown and she stopped, tugging at Naruto’s hand, making the two boys come to a stop too. “Don’t do anything stupid, just leave Sasuke alone.” Naruto sighed.

“Don’t be like that, Hinata.” Kiba smiled and stepped closer to her.

“Yeah, it’s just dudes being dudes it’s not like we’ve been doing anything to him.” Naruto commented and Hinata pursed her lips.

“And don’t.” She said, looking from one boy to the other as if to make her point even more clear.

“Alright, fine.” Naruto stepped closer, his thumb brushing over her hand. “Let’s get to class, yeah? I’ll walk you to yours.” They didn’t talk about Sasuke until Naruto kissed Hinata goodbye and the two boys turned to walk to their own classroom.

Sasuke didn’t rush as he put his items in his backpack. He noticed a few classmates stealing glances and whispering amongst one another but he ignored them, just like he’s been ignoring everyone since he came to this school. His next class was biology and Sasuke put on his earphones as he walked down the hall. It’s been almost a month since he got back home and he already had the school halls memorized. He passed each student like a shadow, his steps were quiet and barely anyone spared him a second glance. He was invisible and he liked that because the fewer people noticed him the less confrontation he had to deal with. The biology classroom was down the hall on the first floor and Sasuke opened the door, and walked over to his desk. He sat down, took out his coursebook and folded his arms on his chest, leaning back on his chair. Usually he would’ve opened the book and began studying. He was aware that he was falling behind, especially with the missing homework but he couldn’t seem to force himself to care anymore. He was tired, he was hungry and that put him in a bad mood.

The music in his ears helped him zone out the noise of the classroom but he couldn’t relax and close his eyes and rest a bit before the lesson started. Even when he spent the whole weekend with Suigetsu and Karin, trying to find any leads on Jugo, he couldn’t sleep during the night. Those nights were just as restless as any other ones as he would doze off for an hour or three and then he would wake with a start from the nightmares that wouldn’t leave his mind. Sasuke let out a long and tired sigh as he remembered the blood on his hands and body, sticking his clothes to his skin and Orochimaru’s frozen face. The man’s eyes in his dreams were scarier than how Sasuke remembered them being in real life. Like a taxidermied snake, with glass eyes, that looked at him with so much hate and blame that it made Sasuke’s skin crawl. In the corner of his eye Sasuke saw Naruto and Kiba walk past his desk and the blonde boy kicked his backpack. The hit was hard enough for Sauke to realize that this was done on purpose but the kick wasn’t strong enough to send his backpack flying, instead it fell from where it was leaning on the desk leg. Sasuke heard muffled words and took out one earphone.

“What did you say?” The two stopped and looked at him. Naruto had barely moved his head to glance at Sasuke while Kiba turned to face him fully and grinned.

“I said you’re a fucking fag.” Sasuke raised an eyebrow, an unamused and bored expression on his face. That made Kiba’s smirk drop and the boy frowned as he took a step closer to Sasuke. “What’s with that look, huh?” The class had gone quiet as everyone looked at them, waiting to see how this would escalate. “You wanna say something to me?” Sasuke sighed and blinked slowly but kept his mouth shut. Kiba smirked. “That’s what I thought.” The two turned and walked towards their desk, leaving Sasuke staring at their retreating backs. Sasuke didn’t move for a few long seconds, keeping his gaze on the duo. Only when they sat down and his classmates took their attention away from him Sasuke put his earphones back in and looked down at the desk.

When the teacher walked in his day went along like it normally did, only difference was Naruto and Kiba’s glances that he noticed far too many times. Their looks were assessing, they were staring at him, waiting to see what he was going to do or how he was going to react to even the slightest provocation. They were waiting for the right moment to pounce and it reminded Sasuke of the kids at the camp. Only now, he couldn’t find the reason for this sudden confrontation. Naruto had made it clear how much he disliked Sasuke from day one but Sasuke hadn’t done anything to warrant their aggression. He hadn’t tried to hurt or offend them in any way, he hadn’t sabotaged their work or showed them any weakness to let them exploit. He had tried to blend in as best as he could and yet they were still on his back. As Sasuke walked down the hall to his last class he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Maybe he hadn’t done anything. Maybe this was the usual ‘I’m stronger and better than you’ facade he’d see at the camp from the staff. But why him? And why now? Sasuke sat down in his seat and let his book bag fall next to him on the ground.

His last lesson was art, the teacher was most likely smoking outside which gave the class a few extra minutes of break until he came back and they began working. Neither Naruto or Kiba had chosen this class which meant Sasuke was granted this last lesson of peace as no eyes were on him, or at least that’s what he thought was going to happen. He had his hands on his lap and was staring at the table when a shadow loomed over him. Sasuke blinked and turned his head to the side. A familiar looking boy was standing beside him and after a long moment of staring at one another Sasukre recognized Sai. He looked the boy up and down, took out his earphones and silently sat there, waiting for the other to begin talking.

“Why are you wearing those all the time?” Sasuke looked at him for a long second, not saying anything for a while but then he moved his jaw and spoke.

“I don’t want people talking to me.” Sai hummed and pulled at the chair beside Sasuke, sitting down on it.

“Quite the scene happened this morning.” Sasuke raised an eyebrow and Sai continued talking. “You know, usually adolescent males show aggression when trying to seem stronger and more dominant. Most of the time that happens when trying to win over a female but Naruto, unlike Kiba, already has a girlfriend. And believe it or not he’s pretty popular too. Logically speaking Naruto, unlike Kiba, has no reason to be acting this way towards you. Which makes me wonder, why is he doing this?” Sasuke stared at the boy for a long moment, his eyes searching the other’s expression.

“And you’re telling me this because?”

“It’s quite simple. I feel like something really interesting is about to happen and I’d like to stay close. I’ve been wondering when Kiba would challenge Naruto and this isn’t exactly how I imagined everything would play out. Naruto’s obsession with you is also quite interesting, it never appeared to me that he would dislike you, quite the contrary. When he spoke of you in the past he never uttered a bad word about you. His mind is on a whole other level than Kiba. It will be very interesting to analyze as it isn't a simple power play, like what Kiba is doing. So it makes me even more curious, why, instead of protecting you, Naruto is doing what’s more in character for Kiba and how long will they keep this up… I hope you’re not insulted by this.” Sasuke looked at the boy, trying to read his body language and the meaning behind this conversation.

“I’m not a damsel in distress I don’t need protecting. I can handle myself.” Sai smiled.

“Well, of course. I don’t doubt you but aren’t you nervous? Teenagers can be quite vicious with all of those hormones flowing.” Sasuke looked away for a second, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“So you’re saying they’re doing this because they’re sexually pent up?” Sasuke breathed in and looked back at Sai. “Believe me, I don’t care what they’re doing. None of them can do anything to hurt me. I don’t care about the boyfriend thing or the backpack kicking. They can’t hurt me. They’re just annoying.” Sasuke muttered. He truly felt like that was true. He couldn’t think of a single thing that those two could do that would be like what he suffered at the camp. This childish bullying was equivalent to a mosquito buzzing in his room. Annoying but ultimately, harmless. “Watch all you want how this plays out. They could tear each other's throats out while trying to- what did you say it was? Dominance showing? I really couldn’t care less. They’ll grow bored of this eventually.” Sai listened to him without interrupting and then smiled.

“Sasuke, I feel like you and I could become friends.” Sasuke didn’t even raise an eyebrow at those words and when Sai didn’t add anything else he turned his gaze back to the desk.

Lying to his mother had become easier over the past few days but Sasuke still couldn’t look her in the eyes whenever he had to do it. It was in his nature to be honest. Sasuke wasn’t the type to manipulate but he knew that if his mother or father were to find out about Suigetsu or Kain, they would make his life a lot harder than it already was. So whenever his mother saw him putting on his shoes and leaving or saying that he wasn’t going to be back for the night and she would assume that he meant Naruto, Sasuke never corrected her. Staying quiet was easier than lying. And even if he didn’t like it, Sasuke wasn’t going to stop doing this. His parents owed him after they sent him to the camp and with those thoughts Sasuke would convince himself that he deserved to have at least this streak of rebellion.

Spending nights with Suigetsu had become common for Sasuke. It felt comforting to have both of his friends underneath the same roof again and it made carrying out their plan a lot easier. It was dark outside and the window in their room was shut as the nights began to grow colder and Suigetsu could no longer stand it. But even with the window closed and a blanket over them Suigetsu still had Sasuke pressed up against himself, both of his arms were around the younger boy’s waist, not looking like they were going to let go or loosen their hold any time soon. And Sasuke wasn’t sure if he should feel annoyed or amused by the way Suigetsu treated him like a heated blanket. He didn’t mind it most of the time but Suigetsu wouldn’t loosen his hold even when he slept and Sasuke would be left feeling hot and bothered, while the other boy was - no doubt- feeling great because of the warmth. Of course Sasuke had the option of sneaking out while Suigetsu was asleep and going into the other bedroom where Karin was staying in but even when he was feeling annoyed and bothered by this, he never left.

“you know…” Suigetsu’s left hand ran down the smooth expans of Sasuke’s side. His fingers dipped with every curve of Sasuke’s ribs. “We deserve each other.”

“Why?” Sasuke asked and turned his head to look at Suigetsu’s eyes. “Because you shoot up and I don’t eat?” Sasuke noticed Suigetsu smile.

“Still angry ‘bout that.” The white-haired boy’s voice sounded amused and he didn’t take his eyes or hand away from Sasuke’s side. “Don’ be. I ain’t gonna try stopping you. ‘Cause I know I won’t be able to. Same way you won’t be able to stop me from using.”

“I’m not starving myself.” Suigetsu’s hand stopped petting and he squeezed Sasuke’s side. But he didn’t say anything, instead he lowered his head to Sasuke’s neck and left a slow, wet kiss there. Sasuke let out a soundless sigh and turned his head to the side, giving Suigetsu more room. It was getting harder trying to hide all of the hickeys and marks left by the white-hair boy but for some reason Sasuke couldn’t force himself to care enough to be bothered by it. If anyone were to see it at school it would be annoying and nothing more. It might give some fuel to Naruto’s and Kiba’s bullying but Sasuke was sure there won’t be anything that they could do or say to hurt him.

“Sure…” Suigetsu pulled away after a second and Sasuke could feel the boy’s cold breath on the wet spot on his neck. “But that ain’t what I wanted to say.” Sasuke felt Suigetsu shift on the bed but the boy didn’t pull away. A second of silence passed and Sasuke wondered if Suigetsu was doing this on purpose, trying to make Sasuke ask questions but before he could even think of what to say to get the answer out, Suigetsu continued talking. “I killed four people.”

A beat of silence passed. Then another. Sasuke stared at the dark wall in the room and let out a breathy laugh, his lips turning upwards.

“That’s a bad joke.” Sasuke smiled and turned to look at Suigetsu, only to see that his expression was serious, his gaze looked searching, waiting to see Sasuke’s reaction. Sasuke’s smile fell. “This isn’t a joke.” It was supposed to be a question but Sasuke could hear that it sounded like a statement. Suigetsu didn’t say anything and Sasuke shut his mouth, processing the new information. Questions swirled in his head, when, how? But he couldn’t quite make his mouth work and ask but he didn’t need to as Suigetsu spoke.

“The seven swordsmen.” His voice was quiet and seemed strangely calm for the topic of the conversation. “With my brother gone there were only six. Now there’s two. Kisame and Zabuza.” Sasuke looked at Suigetsu’s eyes for a few long seconds, trying to see something, that he himself wasn’t sure what he was looking for.

“Are you going to kill Zabuza?” He finally asked, his voice a whisper, as he was aware that said man was in the room opposite to theirs. Suigetsu let out a breath and looked away, breaking their eye contact.

“I don’ know… he was my brother’s best friend. Mangetsu trusted him like nothin’ else. I was angry at him too at first but now I ain’t sure… And killing him would mean killing a good plug.” Suigetsu layed down on his back, putting his right hand below his head. “Maybe I’ll do it, maybe I won’t. For now my target’s Kisame. From what I heard my brother got the drugs from him an’ he’s been first on my list from the start but I can’t find him.” Suigetsu sighed. “Heard he’s s’pposed to be somewhere in this district. Zabuza’s goin’ to a gig tonight. I’ll ask around maybe he’ll see the man.” Sasuke watched Suigetsu, staying quiet even after the white-haired boy stopped talking. Then he let out a tired breath and turned to face Suigetsu.

“When did you do it?” He could see Suigetsu smile.

“We don’ spend our whole day together like we used to. I had the time.”

“How did you do it?” Sasuke could remember the day he killed Orochimaru and how he craved the comfort from his friends yet at the same time wanted everyone to go away and pretend as if he hadn’t done what he did, yet he didn’t stop himself from asking Suigetsu these questions. If the boy wouldn’t have wanted to talk about it, he would’ve said so.

“Knife.” Suigetsu let out a breath as he said. “Always wanted to get up close and personal when I did it. Watch them take their last breath, see the light leave their eyes.”

“Was it like what you imagined?”

“No.” Suigetsu didn’t have to think hard before saying it.

“Are you happy?” But this time a second of silence passed, then another.

“I don’ know. But I don’t regret it.” You will. Sasuke didn’t say what he thought and instead chose to stay silent, still trying to process it all as he still couldn’t believe it. “We’re both fucked, Sas. We deserve each other.”

“I didn’t see anything on the news.” Sasuke ignored the last part that Suigetsu said.

“Maybe the cops didn’t find ‘em yet or maybe it wasn’t interesting enough for the news.” Sasuke lowered his gaze to the bed. It all felt surreal. “I love you.” A moment passed before Sasuke realized what Suigetsu said and when he looked up the other boy was already leaning down to kiss him.

The next morning Sasuke was sitting at the kitchen table, Haku by his side, while everyone else were still sleeping.. The older boy was drinking coffee and scrolling on his phone while Sasuke’s mind was coming up with plans to find Jugo. There were only a few articles about the kid who killed a classmate in a fit of rage and ended up being sent to a wilderness therapy program. There wasn’t much of anything useful other than the name of the village where it happened and the names of the victim, judge and psychiatrist that oversaw the case. Karin had been trying to get into contact with the woman but she looked at everything skeptically, whether she simply didn’t trust them or believe that they were Jugo’s friends, she wasn’t very willing in allowing them to contact Jugo.

“When’s your first lesson?” Sasuke looked up at Haku.

“9.” He muttered and looked down at his cup of coffee. “Though I’m thinking of not going at all.”

“Thinking of skipping the unimportant classes?” Sasuke shrugged.

“Well, I definitely don’t think bio or art’s important. Only Math and English are the more serious classes.”

“Who do you have for math?”

“Itachi.”

“Uchiha? You’re brother, right? Heard he’s strict, just like Kakashi.” Sasuke nodded.

“And he might tell our parents that I’m skipping.”

“You care about what your parents will say?” He could hear the amusement in Haku’s voice and didn’t even have to turn his head to see it on his face.

“No but it’ll be annoying if they’ll hear and I’m enjoying my peace.” Sasuke glanced at Haku as he spoke and saw a smile on the boy’s face.

“Reminds me of the time I moved in with Zabuza. Left to school one day and didn’t come back home, went straight to Zabuza’s. They were calling me every day like a hundred times, trying to find out where I was.” Haku shook his head but his smile didn't drop, it looked like he was talking about a pleasant memory. “They stopped after like… half a year. But it was soo annoying.” Haku put his elbow on the table and rested his head on his palm. Sasuke looked back down at the table and began thinking that maybe he shouldn’t skip after all. Some teachers had already been getting on his back for the missing homework assignments, it was just a matter of time before his parents’ would be called and he’d rather it happen later than sooner. At that moment Karin walked into the kitchen. Her t-shirt was falling off one shoulder and she had her hand over her stomach as she went over to the sink to pour herself a glass of water.

“How’d you sleep?” She asked the two boy while she herself yawned and Sasuke shrugged.

“Oh, that reminds me.” Haku got up from the chair and left the kitchen before either of the two younger teens could ask him questions.

“What about you, Karin?” Sasuke asked and the girls shrugged, sitting down on his other side.

“Dreamt of something but can’t remember what. You’ve got school today?” Sasuke nodded and then furrowed his eyebrows and turned to look at her.

“Won’t the teachers at your school miss you?” Karin shrugged again.

“Even if they do and call the cops or child services or whoever else they call, they’ll have to find me first. I haven’t seen any missing kid posters, so no one’s noticed yet.” Sasuke’s eyes wandered down her forearms that were coated in red, almost purple lines, some bigger than others. Haku walked back in the next moment and sat down in his seat. He reached his hand out a put a yellow and white pill in front of Sasuke. The raven haired boy looked up at the other.

“Suigetsu told me you don’t sleep well.” Sasuke looked down at the pill.

“Didn’t think melatonin looks like this.”

“It doesn’t.” Haku raised his feet up on the chair. “This is adderall.”

“Where the fuck are you getting prescription drugs.” Karin asked, her eyebrows furrowing into a frown.

“Zabuza’s my boyfriend. I can get whatever I want.” Karin hummed and Sasuke couldn’t tell how she felt about it.

When Sasuke got to school he could see Naruto and Kiba snickering about something while their friends threw glances at him. It was nothing out of the ordinary and something he grew used to over the past few days. He could see Hinata frown at Naruto when he made a particularly crude comment which sent Kiba laughing like a hyena. Sasuke’s mind wandered to the camp and how the staff always managed to find something to humiliate and a way to laugh at a kid and he realized that even if in theory this was similar, the staff had always been crueler and never shied away from making their life horrible. In comparison this seemed like child’s play as the group of teens, or rather, Naruto and Kiba had never even gone out of their way to physically harm him. Sasuke walked over to his desk and right before sitting down, he caught Sai’s eyes and the other boy smiled at him. Now that was unusual. Sasuke ignored the gesture and sat down, the pill that Haku gave him was heavy in his pocket as he couldn’t take his mind away from it.

He wrote down what the teacher was saying and tried to listen in the class but his mind kept wandering on to other, in his opinion, more important things. Suigetsu’s confession from last night, Jugo’s search, Karin’s spiraling self harm and his own personal problems. He hadn’t been home for a few days and he didn’t seem to mind the fact that his parents didn’t seem to care. Itachi kept an eye on him during school hours and as long as he didn’t get into any trouble and embarrassed the family none of them seemed too worried about him. The thought that his parents didn't care about him used to be painful but now he seemed to have grown used to them. His friends looked out for him and that was enough. When the lesson ended and the bell rang, allowing them to go to break, for the first time in a while, Sasuke wasn’t slow in picking up his things and leaving. As he walked down the hall he took the pill out of his pocket, put it in his mouth and walked up to a water fountain. He filled his mouth with water and swallowed.

He didn’t feel anything as he stood up straight and began walking down the hall to his next class. He sat through art class feeling pretty normal. This pill didn’t begin working as quickly as the one that Suigetsu gave him and at some point Sasuke wondered that maybe this was a placebo but as class began coming to an end he noticed that he was nearly done with his drawing. Sasuke pulled away his pencil and stared at the landscape. Even though he tried to be present and working in every class, it was always difficult to focus and to truly immerse himself in his work, especially in art class but right now he seemed to have hit a high point in concentration. Sasuke hadn’t even noticed how he’d gotten what looked like a second wind for work. Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek and once he heard Kurenai allow them to leave, he began putting away his things. The concentration that hit him was a bit unexpected but it wasn’t unwelcome. Sasuke wondered for how long this would last and then he noticed that it wasn’t only that he was concentrated but he felt happier.

Sasuke stopped his movements and held his bookbag in his hands, staring silently at the floor, while he tried to understand what he was feeling. It was a warm buzz but it wasn’t identical to the warmth he felt on the first pill. The world didn’t seem as such a grey and horrible mess, the people didn’t seem to annoy him like they normally did. He felt happy. Just as Sasuke realized that, he saw a shadow stretch on the floor as someone walked over to him. Sasuke raised his eyes and saw Sai. The boy was smiling at him again.

“What do you have after this?” Sasuke stared at the boy.

“Math.” Sai hummed at the answer and looked at the clock on the wall.

“We still have a bit of time. Maybe you wanna go to the school library?”

“Sure.”

Sasuke wasn’t sure what possessed him to agree. He hadn’t even hesitated when he answered and now he was standing side by side with Sai, staring at the shelves full of books. This was the first time he stepped foot in the school library and he hadn’t even realized how big it was. This wasn’t a place that he had been interested in before, or even now but he didn’t seem to mind it all that much, which surprised him the most.

“You’re interested in psychology?” Sasuke asked, reading the names on the covers of the books. Sai hummed in agreement.

“I want to study it. So I’m trying to learn as much as I can while I’m still in highschool.” Sasuke didn’t comment anything and his eyes caught a book with the big word ‘TRAUMA’ on it. He reached for it. “What about you?” Sasuke glanced at the boy beside him. “Have you decided what you want to study?”

“No, not really.” Sasuke looked back down at the book and turned to read the back cover.

How trauma can affect a person’s everyday life… Communication, self harm, relationships. How it all works.

“Are you interested in that?” Sasuke looked up at Sai and put the book back where he found it. He hadn’t even come up with an answer when he heard the library door open and a familiar voice echoed through the otherwise quiet space. Sasuke recognised Naruto as the boy walked to the librarian to return a book. Sai noticed him too but neither of the boys seemed interested in it. At least Sasuke wasn’t. Naruto’s presence didn’t raise any feelings for him and the pleasant buzz from the pill made him feel even more indifferent. “Did you choose anything?”

Sasuke shook his head and the two of them went out from between the shelves. Naruto was still standing at the front desk, laughing at something that the librarian said when his eyes landed on the two other boys. Sai put his book down on the desk and gave the woman his library card with a polite smile and the librarian took it to scan it. While Naruto’s face grew more serious when he saw the two. His eyes wandered from one boy to the other while Sasuke kept his gaze strictly in front of himself.

“What’s this?” Naruto asked, his voice no longer holding the fun glint it had a few moments before. “Trying to find yourself a new boyfriend?”

The librarian glanced at them while neither Sai or Sasuke turned to look at Naruto which seemed to frustrate the blonde boy even more. The woman handed Sai his book back and before Naruto could think to say anything else Sai turned to him with the same smile on his face.

“Don’t be jealous, Naruto, just because you have nothing special to show in between your legs it doesn’t mean you should be angry that others are choosing the better option.” Naruto’s eyes widened, his face flushing red.

“What did you say?” The blonde boy tried to sound angry but his voice came out soft from the surprise. Sai didn’t answer and turned to say a polite goodbye to the librarian and as the two dark-haired boys left towards the exit, Sasuke fought back a smile that tugged at the corners of his lips.

“Well that’s it, I suppose.” Sai spoke up when they climbed to the second floor. “I’ve got history next, so I’ll go then.” Sasuke nodded and watched the boy turn to leave before he himself stepped in the direction of Itachi's classroom.

As Sasuke sat, listening to his brother explain functions, he noticed that the previous energy seemed to have evaporated, leaving no chance for him to concentrate, much less work but the warm buzz stayed and Sasuke rested his head on his intertwined arms on the table. He wasn’t planning on napping, he just wanted to rest his eyes for a bit, try to regain some energy so that he could work. And he didn’t even notice how he dozed off.

Naruto was resting his head on his palm as he stared at the black board with tired eyes. He knew that he should be paying attention and taking notes but this was his last class for the day and he was too excited to care about functions. He could barely understand a thing anyway and he was sure that Itachi wouldn’t mind explaining everything to him again.

“Now, everyone, please open your coursebooks to page 58. I want you to complete the questions from 281 to 297. You have time until class ends, then you are free to go.”

Itachi said and walked over to his desk to sit down. Naruto pulled out his notebook and opened his coursebook. He wrote down the first assignment and after a minute or two his gaze began wandering. That’s when he noticed that instead of working on his computer or checking works Itachi’s eyes were on Sasuke, who looked like he was sleeping. The next moment Itachi got up from his chair, grabbing the attention of a few students and walked over to his brother. Itachi squatted down, to be eye level with Sasuke and brushed his hand through the boy’s hair. Sasuke shifted, blinking and felt as someone tugged at his hair, forcing his head up. His eyes shot open, expecting to see Orochimaru, only to be met with his brother’s concerned gaze.

“How are you feeling?” Sasuke blinked and stared at Itachi, who’s expression looked like it was searching, his worried eyes staring intently at Sasuke’s. Sasuke huffed and pushed his brother’s hand away.

“Fine.” He grumbled and looked at his classmates, who were working. Itachi stayed a moment longer, then sighed and stood up.

“Page 58, assignments 281 to 297.”

When the lesson ended sasuke could see that Itachi was glancing at him. The young man clearly wanted to say something but before he could call Sasuke over and tell him to stay back, Sasuke left the classroom. His steps were quick, keeping up with the other students and Sasuke pulled his phone out of his pocket. There was a message from Karin, which he opened immediately and the text made him falter in his steps, coming to a slow stop.

‘I got it’

Chapter 15

Summary:

choices that shape us

Naruto watched Sasuke disappear in the sea of students as everyone walked towards the lockers. He kept his gaze on the other boy until he couldn’t see him and even then Naruto’s eyes lingered on the end of the hall. Naruto felt a gentle touch on his forearm and turned, expecting to see Hinata, only to be met with Haku. Naruto smiled at the boy, his mood changing in a matter of moments. It’s been a while since he’s seen the other boy.

“Hey, Haku-” Before Naruto could finish the sentence and ask how the other boy was doing, Haku cut him off.

“Stay away from Sasuke.” Naruto blinked and stared at the shorter boy’s face. Haku didn’t look as happy as he usually did. His gaze and tone of voice were both serious.

“What are you talking about? You know him?” Naruto noticed Haku clenching his jaw and realized that this was the first time he’s seen the boy upset about something.

“Yes. I know him. And I know his boyfriend too.” Naruto stared at the other for a second, then another and he swallowed, licking his lips. Naruto hadn’t expected to hear that. He didn’t even want to hear it. While all of this was happening a small part of him had hoped that the rumors he and Kiba were spreading were just that- rumors. Even when he saw Sasuke kissing that guy, he’d still desperately wanted to believe that it was a friendly kiss, not a romantic one. And it didn’t matter how stupid those thoughts sounded, because right now he felt like he had a bucket of cold water dumped on him.

“I don’t know what got into you to make you start acting like such a jerk.” Haku continued when Naruto didn’t say anything. “But I liked you for a reason, Naruto. You know that I’m good at reading people and I know that this isn’t how you normally would behave. So stop it before you find yourself knee deep in shit you can’t get out of.”

“What are you talking about? Haku, I’m just goofing around.” The older boy frowned, small wrinkles appearing on his pretty face.

“Naruto,” Haku’s voice sounded almost pleading. “Please believe me, neither he or his boyfriend are people you want to mess with. I’ve seen plenty of people like them and they are not the type’s you’d want to be friends with, much less anger. So stop this before Suigetsu finds out the shit you’ve been saying because believe me he won’t let you off easy.” Naruto clenched his jaw and held the older boy’s serious gaze before he finally sighed and backed down.

“Fine.” Naruto answered with a huff even though he wasn’t serious and simply wanted this uncomfortable conversation to end. Haku looked him in the eyes a moment longer and then turned away.

“I’m serious, Naruto.” The boy said, though his voice didn’t hold the sternness it had a few moments ago. Haku glanced somewhere behind Naruto and then said ‘bye’, turning away and leaving Naruto standing in the hallway.

“Is everything ok?” Naruto nearly jumped out of his own skin when he heard Hinata’s voice behind him.

“Christ, yes.” Naruto huffed and smiled, though he could see by his girlfriend's face that it didn’t look convincing. “We were just talking.”

“What were you talking about?” Hinata questioned as the two of them turned to walk towards the lockers. Naruto shrugged, not noticing that she didn’t reach for his hand.

“He asked me to stay away from Sasuke.”

“And he did the right thing.” Naruto huffed, it looked like everyone was suddenly against him. He was about to argue when Hinata continued speaking. “This has been getting out of hand and I’ve asked you to stop countless times.” Naruto rolled his eyes.

“It’s fine, Hinata. I doubt he cares. The dude barely notices us, it’s as if our jokes aren’t the highlight of the day for him. He’s ignoring us the same way he’s been ignoring us from the start.”

“I really don’t think he sees you nearly slamming his locker door on his hand as a joke. None of us do.” She frowned. “I’ve been telling you to quit it from the start and it’s clear that even Shikamaru and Choji are getting annoyed with this. Even Sai didn’t hang out with you today.”

“That’s just how guys mess around. Stop worrying, Hinata. And the others are just busy, they don’t care what I do. If they did they would’ve said something, not kept quiet. Plus, Kiba finds it funny.”

“You and Kiba are the only ones that do. And the other’s don’t say anything because you’re their friend. It looks like Sai’s the only one with the balls to talk to Sasuke after how you’ve been treating him. And Kiba’s just a pushover and a bully, picking on someone weaker than him. He doesn’t have a mind of his own. What you’re doing with Kiba is not right.” Naruto sighed and looked away from his girlfriend’s angry expression.

 

When Suigetsu got up it was already noon. The sun was high in the sky and the apartment was quiet. He stretched, yawned, put on a shirt and made his way down the hall to the bathroom. Suigetsu shoved his hand underneath his shirt and scratched his abdomen before finding his toothbrush. Just as he was putting the paste on it the bathroom door opened and from the reflection in the mirror he saw Karin.

“You up?”

“No.” Karin gave him an unamused stare.

“Get ready, Sasuke ’ll be here in half an hour we’re leaving then.”

“Why?” He asked and his voice sounded a bit strange from the toothbrush in his mouth. Karin stepped further into the small room and leaned against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I managed to get in contact with Jugo, we agreed to meet today.” She noticed Suigetsu raise his eyebrows in surprise. “Or rather, he got into contact with me but that’s besides the point. Just get ready. We’ll wait for Sasuke and then we’ll go.” Suigetsu spit the toothpaste out, turned on the water, rinsed his mouth, washed his face and when he leaned up he looked at Karin, who was still standing there, through the mirror.

“No need to stare, we’ll find a dick for you soon.” Karin scoffed and turned away from him.

“As if I’d ever touch you. You probably have more diseases than a whole brothel combined. God knows what kind of needles you use.” She heard Suigetsu chuckle and noticed him raise his hand to his chin as he checked himself out in the mirror. “You know, I’ve been thinking-”

“Oh no.”

“Shut your mouth.” Karin glared at him. “I’ve been looking for jobs but since I’m not legally an adult yet most of them require a parent's signature and since I can’t really get it… Maybe you could hook me up with the bar you play at?” Suigetsu’s face looked calm but Karin could see that he was thinking as he opened the cabinet and pulled out an electric shaver.

“What kind of places are you trying to work at that don't hire teenagers?” He furrowed his eyebrows and turned the machine on while Karin’s eyes stayed on the scissors in the cabinet.

“Can you do it or not?” She asked and stepped closer, pushing past Suigetsu and ignoring his annoyed grumble as she reached for the scissors. Then before Suigetsu could even answer anything she took a handful of strands and cut her hair. Suigetsu stared at her, his eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly agape, as the hair on the left side of her head got cut off and fell to the sink.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Suigetsu muttered and Karin turned to look at him, a small frown on her face.

“Answer the question.” She said and her eyes landed on the machine in Suigetsu’s hand. She reached for it and the boy didn’t pull it away. Suigetsu let out a big sigh as Karin shaved off what remained of her hair on the left side of her head.

“I’ll see what I can do…” He lowered his eyes to the red, long hair in the sink. “Why?” Karin glanced at him and shrugged.

“I didn’t like it. Reminded me too much of the camp and if I hadn’t done it now, I wouldn’t have ever done it.” Suigetsu huffed when Karin handed him the machine back and turned to leave the bathroom.

“Get ready quickly.” Suigetsu watched her close the door.

“Fucking bitch…” He muttered and looked down at the sink. “I’m not cleaning this shit!”

 

When Sasuke got out of the bus and began walking to the apartment building, Karin and Suigetsu were staying at, he noticed small snowflakes falling from the sky. He slowed his steps and glanced up, watching the fragile white fall to the ground. That’s right, it was the first week of december. Winter has started. Sasuke slowed to a stop. At the camp such weather meant tougher ground, colder air, more difficulty while working outside or doing any of the chores in particular, unless it was cooking. But right now, while he had a hoodie and a jacket on, he felt warm, and the weather looked peaceful, he could almost say that it was nice. Sasuke looked down at the ground and started walking again. When he came closer to the front door of the building he stood to the side to avoid being hit by the door in case someone walked out and texted his friends that he was already waiting. He looked up at the sky again as the wind picked up and everything around him began to look white. In no time at all the trees and the ground would be covered in a blanket of soft white snow. It was nice to think about it as such a scenery wasn’t something he had the privilege of enjoying just a year ago.

He had been so captivated by the snow that he didn’t even notice Sai coming closer to him, only realizing it when the boy said hi to him. It startled Sasuke but he was pretty certain that the other boy hadn’t noticed it. He hadn’t lowered his guard so much in a long time. No one has snuck up on him like that for a while. It felt strange but Sasuke reminded himself that Sai wasn’t a threat and he hadn’t done it on purpose.

“I didn’t know you lived here.”

“I don’t.” Sasuke answered and wondered whether he should say anything more. “I’m waiting for my friends.” Sai hummed.

“Well it was nice to see you, even if for such a short time.”

Sasuke nodded and didn’t offer anything more as he watched Sai walk into the building. This new friendship seemed strange and… new. Sasuke hadn’t bothered or even thought about making new friendships. He had his close friends and that was enough. Having Sai suddenly be all buddy-buddy with him was strange but not unwelcome. It took a couple minutes for Suigetsu and Karin to come down and the first thing that Sasuke noticed was the smell of weed and Suigetsu’s glazed over eyes. As they began walking to the other side of town, where the only bus that could take them to Jugo drove by, Sasuke glanced at Suigetsu. he wasn’t sure why he expected the older boy to be sober or why seeing Suigetsu like this made him upset but Sasuke kept quiet about it all. It looked like he saw Suigetsu high more times than sober these past few days. Then his eyes wandered to Karin’s new hairstyle.

“Aren’t you cold like that?” She smiled and brushed a strand of hair behind her right ear, her cheeks blushing red, as if she hadn’t expected Sasuke to notice the new look.

“A bit but what’s stranger is the weight on the right side of my head, while the left side feels light. It’s so weird.”

By the time they got to the bus and got in, the white’s of Suigetsu’s eyes were already turning pink. Sasuke stared at the older boy, who was looking out the window but Sasuke was sure Suigetsu was aware of his gaze and simply chose to ignore him.

“So how’d you do it?” He forced himself to look away and put his attention on Karin. The girl hummed in question.

“You mean Jugo? He’s the one who got in contact with me.” She crossed her legs. “I was beginning to think that it was all over, his therapist won’t let us get in contact but then she called me and said that Jugo wanted to speak with me. I guess she finally told him about our attempts to get in contact and he agreed to meet immediately. He said he’ll wait for us at a cafe in the city he’s been staying at. He sent me the address.” Sasuke leaned against the back of his chair.

“It’s crazy to think that this whole time he’s been half an hour away…” They spent so much time looking for the boy and none of them had even thought that he could be so close this whole time.

By the time they found the cafe it was already snowing heavily, the big winds not making it any easier and Jugo was already waiting for them at a table. He looked cleaner than how Sasuke remembered him. His ginger hair was cut short, his face was cleanly shaven, there was no dirt or dust on his skin or clothes and overall, he looked better. There was a healthy layer of fat on him and as they got closer, through the shirt that the other boy was wearing, Sasuke could see how his arms looked larger and had more muscle on them. A smile graced the boy’s face, softening his features and making him look less intimidating. He looked genuinely happy to see them. Karin hugged the large boy before sitting down and soon they were sitting around the table, talking with one another as if not even a day had passed since they got separated. The slight nervousness in Jugo’s eyes had disappeared, the boy looked relaxed while listening to Karin and Suigetsu bicker about something and Sasuke realized that he himself felt calm too. This situation, and having his friends all together felt right. As if they were meant to be. There was no tension, no awkwardness. He felt safer and better with his friends than with his family.

“If we would’ve known you’re so close we would’ve come to see you weeks ago.” Karin said, looking over at Jugo. “And that psychiatrist… Why the hell was she so against us meeting?” Jugo gave her a hesitant smile and rubbed the back of his neck.

“She’s been taking care of me these past two months… She’s allowing me to stay at her apartment, she helped me get a part-time job. Now I’m studying for my GED. She’s also helping me with my anger management… and she was worried that meeting you guys would remind me too much of the camp, which would lead to flashbacks and that would lead me to spiral out of control again.” The more Jugo spoke the more he lowered his eyes.

“But you’ve been doing so well at the camp.” Karin muttered and glanced at Sasuke. “You barely ever lost control. And didn’t you say that it’s a psychological thing? You can’t control your anger right?” Jugo sighed and the sound seemed pained.

“Yes but she thought it was worth a shot.”

“I assumed she didn’ tell you for so long ‘cause she thought we were journalists.” Suigetsu said and took a sip from his water. Jugo gave him a hesitant smile.

“She did think that at first.” Suigetsu chuckled, amusement evident on his face. “But I think she was worried for no reason… After all, Sasuke helped me control myself.”

Sasuke didn’t comment on Jugo’s statement. He was positive that the reason Jugo was calm was because Sasuke wasn’t as hyperactive or loud as the other kids around them were and Jugo could feel it. The change in scenery and regime could’ve provoked Jugo to get nervous and not having anyone close to lean on for support could’ve provoked the new attacks. But he wasn’t going to voice his opinion. If Jugo believed that it was all thanks to Sasuke then he was going to play along. This exact mindset was what allowed Sasuke to get a bodyguard at the camp.

“And… I was thinking, since we’re all back together maybe we could go back to how things were before? I mean it won’t be possible for us to spend every second of the day together but it would be great to be together as much as possible. Sasuke could help me stay calm and we would all be together. I could find a shelter somewhere and-”

“Woah, dude, slow down.” Suigetsu cut the bigger boy off. “We don’ gotta live together to spend time together.” Karin nodded and Sasuke spoke.

“You should stay with your psychiatrist. She’s letting you stay in her apartment, so use the chance while you still have it. Save up money until you can get your own place. There’s no need for shelters, especially when you’re only 30 minutes away.” Jugo stared at him for a few seconds, then lowered his eyes, thinking about it. “We could meet after I’m done with school and you guys are done with your jobs. We can still see each other every day.”

That seemed to calm the older boy and soon they left the cafe and took the first bus back to Sasuke’s town. Everything around them was white by the time they got back and Suigetsu went to the bar he played at, while Sasuke and Karin took the initiative to show Jugo around town. As the hours passed and Suigetsu joined them again, they went to the apartment. When they stepped in Jugo noticed the smell of weed, which the other three had long gotten used to but he was polite enough not to mention it. It was already getting dark outside as the days were getting shorter and the four of them found privacy in Suigetsu’s bedroom while the other rooms were occupied by Zabuza’s friends.

“They come over almost every day.” Suigetsu mentioned when he noticed Jugo’s confusion. They’d told him everything there was to know about the time they spent apart, how Karin was staying with Suigetsu and looking for a job to earn money. How Suigetsu was the first to go looking for everyone and how Sasuke was spending most of his time with his friends and only went home to change into a fresh pair of clothes. Though he kept quiet about Naruto and Kiba. Those two hadn’t gotten physical yet and Sasuke saw no reason to make this into a big deal. He could handle a few mean comments.

When evening came Suigetsu was sitting on the ground, by the bed, with a spoon in one hand and a lighter in the other. The white liquid in the spoon had started to bubble. Karin was lying on the bed looking at something on her phone and in the corner of his eye Sasuke could see how tense Jugo was. The older boy was looking at Suigetsu, a frown on his face, clearly uncomfortable by the whole scene but he kept quiet. The next moment Karin’s phone started ringing. The girl frowned, got off the bed and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Suigetsu didn’t even glance up when she walked out and Sasuke spoke after a moment of silence.

“I want to do it too.” Suigetsu turned off the lighter and looked up at Sasuke, an unreadable look on his face.

“No.” Sasuke frowned at Suigetsu’s words.

“What do you mean no? I want to try it.”

“There’s nothing good in this shit.” Sasuke scoffed.

“So you can do it but when it comes to me, It's suddenly not good?” Suigetsu was careful not to spill anything as he slowly took the syringe and filled it with the liquid.

“Sure, it ain’t good for me either but I ain’t gonna let you shoot up.”

“You can’t stop me.” Suigetsu glanced up at him, looked at his face for a second and smiled.

“You’re right, I can’t. But he can.” Suigetsu motioned with his head behind Sauke and the younger boy glanced back, only to see Jugo, staring at him with his eyebrows furrowed. Sasuke let out an inaudible sigh and looked back at Suigetsu.

“Why is it fine when you take the hard stuff but I for some reason can’t?” Suigetsu didn’t look at him and tied a piece of cloth around his bicep. He heard the white haired boy sigh.

“'Cause it destroys your nerves and you’re the one with the brains, Sas.” He muttered while he looked for a visible vein on his arm. “You’re the only one who actually has a future ahead of him. So I won’t let you fry your pretty little head.” Sasuke’s frown deepened.

“You have a future too. You might still have a chance to become a musician, you shouldn't be taking this either.” Suigetsu stuck the needle in his arm and pressed the plunger down. In the corner of his eye Sauke could see how Jugo cringed at the sight, like it made him physically revolt. Suigetsu let out a sigh, his whole body relaxing. The syringe dropped to the floor.

“I take it ‘cause I want to.” He said and his voice sounded groggy, as if he just woke up from a deep sleep. “I take it ‘cause I can and because I don’t see myself doing anything in my life. Because I either stop or I die and I ain’t planning to stop.” Sasuke frowned at those words. He wanted to object to them, he wanted to say something but the bedroom door opened and Karin walked in. Her face was pale and she looked worried. She sat down on the bed, putting one leg beneath herself.

“Everything ok?” She didn’t even look at Sasuke when he asked that.

“My step dad called.” Sasuke and Jugo glanced at one another. “He said the police came to his house asking about me.”

“Did the school finally take notice that you disappeared?” She shook her head slowly.

“They were asking about the camp.” Sasuke felt his heart rate pick up and hoped that it didn’t show on his face.

“What did they ask?” Karin brushed her hair away from the right side of her face.

“I’m not sure. It was hard to understand with all the screaming but it was definitely something about the camp.” Karin raised her eyes to look at Sasuke. “You don’t think this could be about… Orochimaru?” Even Suigetsu picked up his head, listening intently.

“I… I’m not sure. It couldn’t be. Kabuto wouldn’t have contacted the cops.”

“What if it was someone else? The staff? Or a kid that told his parents?” Sasuke shook his head.

“We didn’t tell any of the kids and the staff… Maybe but it’s unlikely. Though, Kabuto contacting the cops is an even stranger scenario.” Sasuke sighed. He’d been thinking that this could happen but he hadn’t truly expected it to happen and especially not this soon. Maybe after many years, someone would find the body and trace everything back to him but it's only been 2 months since he got back home and the cops were already on their tail. “Have any of you guys been contacted?” Jugo shook his head and Suigetsu shrugged.

“They’d need to find me first. And I don’t keep contact with my old folks so I dunno.” Sasuke frowned and looked down at the floor.

“Alright… So all that we know is that the cops went to Karin’s house and asked about the camp. Maybe they found out about the abuse that was happening and are questioning every kid that was there? There’s no reason for them to look for us four specifically. There is no proof. The knife and the shirt are at the bottom of the swamp.” Sasuke explained and he wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince himself or his friends. “There were no cameras in the camp. No one saw me kill Orochimaru, you guys and Kabuto are the only ones who know. We didn’t tell anyone, the other kids didn't know anything and Kabuto couldn’t have risked it. We shouldn’t worry. Maybe this was a one time thing.” Sasuke licked his lips and swallowed. “Let’s just wait and see where this goes.”

When he looked up he could see that his friends didn't look all that convinced. Karin had a worried frown on her face, Jugo was tense and even Suigetsu didn’t look completely out of it. The white-haired boy was staring up at the ceiling. It was hard to understand if he was still listening to them but his eyes, even though glazed over, looked aware.

By the time the next morning came Sasuke hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. They’d walked Jugo to the bus stop yesterday evening, even when Suigetsu offered him to stay the night, the older boy refused. And Sasuke couldn’t blame him. This type of company wasn’t the most pleasant to hang out with and if Jugo didn’t want to watch anyone stabbing themselves with needles, Sasuke could completely understand it. First time he saw it happen he had to go to the other room. At some point of the night Karin had left to go to the bedroom she’s been staying at and Sasuke allowed Suigetsu to wrap his arms around him. He could feel the older boy’s slow and steady breaths, quietly counting them in the night as he stayed awake, unable to rest from the new information about the cops. Logically, he knew that there was no way they found any evidence against him but it was still nerve wracking. Both Zabuza and Haku were still sleeping when he got up. So he tried to be quiet as he went down the hall and into the kitchen, where Karin was making herself coffee. She glanced back at him.

“You want one?”

Sasuke nodded and sat down at the table. He had to be at school at 8am. It was just a bit before 7 and Sasuke began to seriously consider skipping this day. He had too much on his mind to worry about functions and poems. He had told his friends not to worry but he himself wasn’t planning on following his own advice. Karin put down a cup before him and sat down in the place that had become her own. It was clear from the tense silence that she also had something on her mind, no doubt it had something to do with the phone call she got but she wasn’t saying anything and Sasuke looked down at his steaming cup. It wasn’t just the cops that he was worried about. He had another thing to plan for and he glanced at the watch on the stove.

“When do you think Suigetsu will wake up?” Karin looked up at him and shrugged.

“Sometimes he's up in the morning, sometimes he’s up at noon. Haven't really gotten a hold of his schedule yet.” Karin smirked and the air around him felt lighter. Then she looked down at her cup and stirred the sugar in her coffee. “He’s a good guy, you know. Talked to his boss, got me a job as a waitress at the place he plays at. He’s just got a problem… but I guess we all do.” She covered her left forearm that seemed to have new fresh cuts each day. Karin sighed. “Just hope he doesn’t take it too far.” Sasuke let a small smile tug his lips upwards.

“You too. We gotta look out for one another. Just like we did at the camp. We’ll be fine.” Karin gave him a small smile too.

“Yeah… Just don’t tell him I said those things. He doesn’t need to know.”

Sasuke let out a breathy chuckle, looked down at his cup and took a sip from it. They went to sleep relatively early last night, or at least, his friends did. Suigetsu should be up soon. Sasuke will wait for him and then he’ll go to school. He has to do what he’s been thinking about before going to school otherwise it’ll become harder the more time passes. And just like Sasuke predicted, Suigetsu was up at 9am. Sasuke was already ready for school. Haku had already left and the apartment was quiet. Sasuke waited until he heard Suigetsu leave the bathroom and close his bedroom door, then he got up. When Sasuke walked into the room they shared he saw Suigetsu sitting on the floor, rummaging through his bag. The window was open, allowing cool air in and Suigetsu was wearing a grey hoodie. Sasuke closed the door, letting Suigetsu know that he wasn’t alone. The older boy looked back and smiled at Sasuke. He had a palette of blue pills in his hands.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Suigetsu muttered. “I can’t give you these, they’re too strong for you.” Sasuke clenched his jaw. He’d been revising what he was going to say half the night but when the moment finally came he suddenly felt like he didn't know what to say.

“It’s either me or the pills.” His voice was quiet but Suigetsu heard him and Sasuke saw how his smile fell and his expression became confused.

“What?”

“I want you to quit. I can’t do this alone, Suigetsu.”

“Sas-”

“And don’t give me that crap of being an addict. You were an addict at the camp too yet you were clean for years. You could’ve stayed away from the drugs when you got out. And…” Sasuke sighed, frustrated. “And now that new problems are rising I can’t have you being on another planet all the time. I need you sober for this, Suigetsu. I need you.” The white-haired boy looked at him for a few long seconds and Sasuke held his gaze. Finally, Suigetsu sighed.

“You have Karin and Jugo for support.”

“Well I need you too.” Sasuke’s voice was firm but quiet enough to make sure that neither Karin or Zabuza heard the interaction. “It wasn’t the three of us who escaped, it was all four of us. We did it together, as a team.” Suigetsu looked unconvinced. “I told you that time that we were going to get out. You didn’t believe me and yet here we are. We’re out. Now I’m telling you to believe me when I say that you’ll be fine when you’re off the drugs. I need you to be with me and sober. God knows what the cops want from us. It’s better to be prepared for whatever.” Suigetsu looked away and seemed like he wanted to say something but couldn’t decide what.

“Sas… I- God, you don’t get it. My body craves this. It makes everything easier, I mean- I’ll try to stay off the hard drugs until all of this shit passes, maybe some weed and ecstasy but you can’t expect me to-”

“No.” Sasuke cut him off again. “You don’t seem to get me. Get off the drugs or you won’t see me again.”

Sasuke could only imagine how hypocritical he sounded, saying such things right after asking to shoot up the night before. But now that there was a new threat on their heads he needed to be sober and he needed his friends to be aware and ready for anything. Suigetsu was strong, Sasuke was sure that he could handle the withdrawal. And Sasuke wasn’t so sure about himself, whether or not he could handle it all alone. That’s why he gave the other boy this ultimatom. And he wasn’t lying. He might’ve been a murderer but he wasn’t a manipulator. He said this because he wanted Suigetsu by his side for support but if the older boy was going to choose the pills then Sasuke wasn’t going to stay. He kept his word and he was serious. Suigetsu stared at him and Sasuke fought back the urge to lick his lips, swallow or squirm in any other way. He had to show how serious he was, though he was certain that Suigetsu knew he wasn’t lying.

Suigetsu sighed and looked down at the colorful pills in the packet. He stared at them for a few moments and Sasuke began to fear that Suigetsu made his choice. Then, the older boy stood up and walked past Sasuke out of the room. Sasuke shut his eyes tight as he felt the burning sting of tears. The pain in his throat came almost immediately and his chest felt heavy. He knew that he had no right to cry. He made the decision to give Suigetsu the ultimatom. He knew that this could’ve happened but it didn’t make it any easier.

“What ‘re you waiting for? Come ‘ere.” Sasuke was startled by Suigetsu’s voice from the hall. He turned and hesitantly walked out of the room. Suigetsu was standing by the bathroom, the door was open and the lights were on. “Come ‘ere.” He said again and Sasuke came closer.

He watched as Suigetsu popped each pill into his palm. All 20 blue circles in the palm of his hand and then Suigetsu dropped them in the toilet bowl. Sasuke couldn’t even move, could barely breathe, as he watched Suigetsu flush the water. He could only imagine how the older boy felt. Then, Suigetsu closed the door, turned off the light and hugged him. He buried his face in the crook of Sasuke’s neck, squeezing the younger boy so tight it was difficult to take a full breath in but Sasuke didn’t mind. He reached his hands up and gently placed them on Suigetsu’s back.

“It’s you. I’ll always choose you.”

Chapter 16

Summary:

The breaking point

Suigetsu’s breath tickled Sasuke’s nape but he didn’t care. He didn’t move, not only because he physically couldn’t, from how strong Suigetsu’s grip was but also because he didn’t want to pull away. It seemed like he needed this closeness just as much as Suigetsu needed it. After a few seconds of standing like that Suigetsu loosened his grip just enough to pull his face away from Sasuke’s neck and kiss him on the lips. He responded immediately and parted his lips allowing Suigetsu to lick into his mouth. The white-haired boy tasted like mint and his hands were cold as he raised them to cradle Sasuke’s face.

“We should go to the room.” Suigetsu pulled away and spoke. Sasuke let out a breath, considering it.

He opened his eyes and was met with Suigetsu’s violet ones, the boy’s hands were strikingly cold against his own heated skin. Sasuke needed to go to school but who would be harmed by another extra hour spent with Suigetsu? Sasuke nodded and didn’t pull away when Suigetsu took his wrist. He would’ve followed either way but it felt as if Suigetsu couldn’t force himself not to touch Sasuke and alway had to have a hand on him. Whether it was an arm over his shoulders while they were sitting, a hand on his wrist when they went somewhere or a cuddle while they were sleeping. Suigetsu was always touching the other. The moment the bedroom door closed Sasuke took off his shirt and wet to unbutton his pants. Suigetsu followed suit, dropping his hoodie on the floor and as Sasuke sat down on the edge of the bed to take his pants off he saw Suigetsu walk over to his duffle bag. Before Sasuke could ask anything he saw Suigetsu take out a small green bottle and Sasuke felt a smile tug at his lips.

“Came prepared this time, huh?” Suigetsu chuckled and handed him the bottle of lube.

“Can’t have my buddy sore and aching.” Sasuke opened the cap and squeezed a bit of lube on his fingers while Suigetsu pulled down the hem of his sweatpants.

“That’s what I am to you? A buddy?” He took Suigetsu’s soft length in his slick hands, lubing it up and stroked it. Suigetsu’s grin didn’t falter and he tangled his hands in Sasuke’s hair.

“We are fuck buddies, are we not?” Sasuke snorted at that while Suigetsu’s dick began to stand at the attention it was getting. “Pass me the lube an’ lay down.”

“Had enough of that already?” Sasuke did as he was told and watched as Suigetsu squirted some of the lube onto his fingers.

“Nah, could never get enough of your hands or mouth. ‘Specially your mouth. But if you keep that up there won’t be any fun left for you.” Suigetsu pushed his thighs apart and got in between Sasuke’s legs.

His slick fingers circled Sasuke's rim and he pushed one in. Sasuke took in a deep breath as Suigetsu pumped it in a few times before adding another one, creating a small sting from the stretch. He wasn’t new to the sting of the stretch and this wasn’t the worst he’s felt, it was pleasant, more pleasure than pain and it made him feel alive. Suigetsu scissored his fingers and leaned down to Sasuke’s chest, licking up a stripe on his pale skin. The wetness left a chilly feeling on his heated skin from the cold air in the room. And while he worked his fingers, opening Sasuke up, he let his teeth graze the top of Sasuke’s right pec but he didn’t give in to the urge to bite, instead he let his tongue go over the patch of skin again before closing his lips over it and beginning to suck. He felt Sasuke sigh and the boy’s hand went into his hair, not pulling or pushing him away but resting his hand there. Suigetsu was going to respect Sasuke’s wish of not being bitten but that didn’t mean that he was going to refrain from marking him any other way.

He and Sasuke weren’t in a relationship. They were friends, fuck buddies at the most. Suigetsu had to accept that idea when he realized that Sasuke had never, not even once, said that he loved Suigetsu back. It was true that they cared for one another but it was also blatantly clear that Sasuke didn’t see him as a romantic partner. So he had to do with what he had. And this was enough. As long as he had Sasuke by his side and he was Sasuke’s number one, he could live with it. And if a part of him wanted to leave marks on Sasuke's skin because if anyone else had the privilege of seeing Sasuke so vulnerable, they would see that Sasuke already belonged to someone - that Suigetsu was here first, then that was no one's business other than his own.

“You sure love to do this.” He heard Sasuke mumble and he smirked as he licked over the new hickey.

“It ain’t my fault you look so pretty like this.” Sasuke sighed.

“Just fuck me already, will you.” Suigetsu chuckled.

“So impatient…” But he pulled out his fingers and stroked his cock back to complete hardness.

Then he aligned himself up and with one smooth thrust pushed the head in. He suppressed a groan, aware of Karin in the other room and thrust deeper, burying himself fully inside. Suigetsu held himself in that position for a few seconds, allowing Sasuke to get used to the stretch and for himself to relax his muscles and not cum on the spot. He looked down at Sasuke, at the pretty marks covering his skin, the way his chest rose and fell with each quick inhale of breath. And he felt proud knowing that he was the only one that could see this. Suigetsu started moving. The first few thrust were shallow as he rolled his hips, still staring at Sasuke, gripping the boy’s hips. The need for the pills hadn’t disappeared. He felt like he could get out of bed, run to Zabuza and ask for more at any moment. His muscles were tense and his body craved it the same way it craved oxygen. It wasn’t a want, it was a need. But he held on, gripping Sasuke in a hold that would bruise, as if he were to let go, he wouldn’t be able to control himself anymore. Suigetsu quickened the pace of his thrusts. He had to focus his mind on something and this was a great distraction.

Sasuke was quiet in bed just like he was quiet everywhere else. The most he let out were breathy moans and whimpers that Suigetsu had to focus to hear. He clenched his teeth and gripped tighter as his thrust became harsher. Sasuke really was pretty like this. Pink, flushed skin, dark bruises and hickeys littering his pale chest. Suigetsu raised his right hand and let it slide down Sasuke’s side, feeling the visible ribs there. Then he let his fingers ghost down the boy’s abdomen and take hold of his hard dick. Suigetsu pressed his thumb over the slit, coating the digit in precum before sliding his hand down the shaft. He pumped Sasuke in a quick rhythm as he felt his own orgasm starting to pool deep in his gut. Suigetsu sucked in a breath and forced himself to focus on Sasuke. His hand sped up as he jerked Sasuke off, not even stopping when he saw the boy tense and ropes of white shot out, coating his fist and Sasuke’s abdomen. Suigetsu continued to stroke him through his release, until the white-haired boy was certain that Sasuke was finished.

Only then he took his hand away, gripping both of Sasuke’s hips. Suigetsu’s thrusts were harsh enough to make their skin slap together and he furrowed his eyebrows together when he felt his abdominal muscles flex. Then Suigetsu pulled out in one quick motion and began jerking himself off until he came. His cum landed on the other boy, their fluids mixing together and Suigetsu gasped for air, his breathing labored from the exercise, as he looked at the white mess. He laid down next to Sasuke, who looked like he was still coming off his high. The orgasm made him forget about his cravings as his brain flushed his body with euphoria and Suigetsu sighed, letting his muscles relax. The room was quiet, as the only thing that they could hear was their breathing until a couple seconds later the bedsheets shuffled and Sasuke sat up. He got off the bed, found some napkins amongst Suigetsu’s things, wiped himself off and threw the rest for Suigetsu to catch. As the white-haired boy wiped his fist he watched Sasuke get dressed. Then the younger boy offered him a quick bye before leaving the room. Suigetsu smiled as the door closed but his expression didn’t have any happiness in it and he laid back down on the bed and shoved his arms behind his head.

 

“Hinata broke up with me yesterday.”

“Yikes, what for?” Kiba’s tone of voice almost sounded pitying. Naruto shrugged.

“Something about me acting differently, being a jerk and a few other things.”

“Being a jerk? So this happened ‘cause of that fucker Sasuke?” Naruto shook his head.

“I think it was the breaking point for everything, there were some other things… But it doesn’t matter. Either way I don’t wanna talk about it.” Naruto’s voice was quieter than usual and Kiba grinned.

“C’mon, I know what’ll cheer you up. Remember that thing I told you a few days back? We can wait ‘till Sasuke comes to school and then-”

“No.” Kiba frowned at being cut off.

“Fuck you mean no?”

“I mean no. We had our fun and I lost my girlfriend because of that. I’m not in the mood to do anything else. Just leave him alone.” Kiba scoffed at Naruto’s words.

“You call that fun? We barely did anything. I told you, we should’ve gone with my plan from the start. And fuck Hinata, I mean if she’s got a problem with that then fuck her.”

“Don’t piss me off, Kiba. I said I wasn’t gonna take part in that and you should forget it too.” Kiba sighed and looked away but didn’t say anything else as they opened their classroom door and stepped inside. Naruto noticed Sasuke sitting by his desk.

It was the 3rd period and he only now decided to show up. Naruto frowned as he walked past the boy. Even Naruto was more responsible than that. And he knew that he shouldn’t be bothered by Sasuke’s presence so much, especially now when he wanted to keep away from the raven-haired boy but he was in a bad mood and everything seemed to piss him off. As he walked by Sasuke’s desk, his foot caught the other’s backpack, kicking it forth a bit.

“Oops,” Naruto’s voice held no remorse as he looked back at Sasuke with a frown on his face. “Don’t get your boyfriend chasing after me now.” He walked off before Sasuke could answer, though he was sure the other boy wouldn’t have said anything to him either way. Naruto sat down at his desk and put his backpack on his lap.

“See? You’ll feel better if we-”

“Seriously, Kiba, fuck off. I won’t tell you again.” Kiba stared at him and shut his mouth before walking off to his desk.

Sasuke clenched his jaw as he watched Naruto walk towards his desk. This behavior wasn’t new and it shouldn’t have bothered him as much as it did but he’s been on edge after hearing about the cops. This could mean a lot of trouble for him and Naruto’s idiotic actions were just further irritating him. He had half a mind to skip today completely. Sasuke had a lot on his plate already and sitting at school wasn’t going to help in any way. He wasn’t going to do any of the assigned work and he was simply wasting precious hours from his day, when he could be doing something more useful. Sasuke sighed and rested his cheek on his fist. But he wasn’t sure what he could do outside of school either. Karin and Jugo had a job they had to go to, Suigetsu would only leave for work in the evening. Sasuke wasn’t sure what the white-haired boy did throughout the day or what he would do now that he agreed to get clean. In any case there wasn’t anything that he could do with his friends other than hang out and pass the time.

And he couldn’t do that. He had to think, he had to create a plan. That’s what he was good at and that was what he could do to help them. When the door opened and his biology teacher walked in, Kakashi was right behind the man but his homeroom teacher didn’t walk to the front of the class. Sasuke glanced at the two adults as Kakashi stayed by the door and looked over the students, until his eyes stopped at Sasuke.

“Sasuke.” The man didn’t sound very pleased to see him. “Good to know you’ve finally decided to come. Is there a reason why I didn’t see you in my class?” He felt a few pairs of eyes on him.

“I overslept.” Kakashi hummed at his answer, clearly not amused.

“That’s been happening quite a lot lately. Why don’t you come see me after school. I’d like to have a talk with you.”

Sasuke didn’t offer a verbal answer. Kakashi exchanged a few words with his biology teacher and left, while Yamato began their lesson and the eyes that were on him disappeared. He spent the hour staring blankly at the whiteboard while Yamato explained things that Sasuke didn’t bother to pay attention to as his mind was occupied by something more important. The chance that the cops weren’t looking for them specifically but were talking with every kid in the camp was quite high and Sasuke was almost certain that this was happening because of the abuse and not the murder. Either way it meant that sooner or later the cops would come banging on his and his friends’ doors. Sasuke considered staying home for the upcoming days but even if he were at Suigetsu’s place it wouldn’t make much of a difference as he was sure that once his father would see the other officers he wouldn’t waste any time in contacting Sasuke. So staying home wouldn’t do much for him.

When their lessons ended Naruto made his way to PE. As they were finishing up their warmup and everyone was coming back from running laps Kiba nudged him and motioned to Sasuke, who was still running.

“Look at that, idiot,” Kiba snickered. “He looks like he’s never run a day in his life.” Naruto and Lee, who was close by, both stared at Sasuke. His pace wasn't very quick and he looked like he was struggling.

“Not very athletic…” Lee muttered and shrugged. “I suppose, sports aren’t for everyone.”

“They probably didn’t care ‘bout that in his old fancy school. Seriously, though, how much of a loser you gotta be to be so out of shape, I mean if I-”

“Shut up, Kiba.” Naruto cut the brown-haired boy off. “This shit’s getting old.”

He’s been trying to avoid even looking at Sasuke. He wasn’t sure why the other boy made him feel like this. He was angry after the breakup but no other classmate irritated him as much as Sasuke did. And as if on purpose, his eyes kept drifting towards the other boy any time he looked away from the teacher. Naruto huffed when the bell rang and with a quick pace went to the boy’s dressing room. He took a shower, got dressed and when his friends were done they all went to the cafeteria. Everything seemed normal, no one was acting out of the usual, pretending like they didn’t know about the break up. The only difference - Hinata wasn’t at their table and neither was Kiba with Sakura. As Ino sat down by Shikamaru, complaining about their math assignment, Naruto’s eyes drifted behind the other boy and saw Hinata and Sakura sitting at another table. His eyes lingered on the two girls, Sakura’s hand on Hinata’s as the pink-haired girl seemed to be comforting the other.

“What do you think, Naruto?”

“Hm?” Naruto looked at Choji. “What’d you say?”

“Wanna go somewhere after school?” The bigger boy repeated and before Naruto could come up with an answer Lee spoke up.

“We need to turn that frown upside down. Forget your ex and let’s go have a guy’s night out.” Naruto considered it.

“I go to the gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then there’s that project…”

“You’d rather go to the gym and do homework than get wasted? Since when did you become such a nerd?” Ino questioned with a smirk on her face which made Naruto smile.

“Alright, alright. I’ll meet you guys after the gym.”

 

When gym class ended Sasuke waited until everyone left the dressing room and only then went to shower. He liked Tuesdays as it meant that they had cafeteria right after PE and he had a longer break to get ready. Of course he could’ve gone to the showers when every other guy went there but ever since he’d come back he hated the idea of getting undressed in front of strangers. Sasuke wasn’t sure if it were bad memories from the camp of not having any privacy or underlying, hidden deep down, insecurities but either way he avoided getting undressed in front of his classmates. He could’ve avoided going to the shower all together but the idea of smelling bad repulsed him. He’d already endured that at the camp and didn’t want those memories to repeat themselves. Sasuke was aware that he was an outcast in his class, Naruto and Kiba already had things to make fun of and he didn’t want to add smelling bad to the list.

When he was done he made his way to history class and sat down at his desk. His stomach was cramping. He hadn’t eaten anything in the morning and he never went to the school cafeteria. The lunch break was also coming to an end, so even if he would’ve wanted to go, there wouldn’t have been enough time. And more importantly he had a job to do. Even if he believed that the authorities didn’t know about the murder, he still had to come up with an alibi, just in case. Orochimaru’s death and their escape hadn’t been planned. It ended well for them but there was no saying what could happen now. He had to be ready for anything as life had proven to him time and time again that any second, when he’d least expect it, something horrible could happen. Just like when he was sleeping in his bed peacefully four years ago before he was kidnapped, just like when he was doing his chores, following the regime he’s been living by for the last couple of years before he killed Orochimaru. He had to be ready for anything. Sasuke felt his phone buzz with a notification as he rested his head on his hand.

He’d been texting Suigetsu before coming to class as he wanted to make sure that the other boy was fine. Suigetsu’s text seemed like he sent them when he was sober so Sasuke assumed the boy was fine. Just as he thought about reaching for his phone and reading the text, the classroom door opened and Naruto, followed by Kiba and their other friends walked in. They were talking and didn’t even spare a glance his way. Sasuke looked away. Just as he reached for his phone in his pocket he heard someone gasp. Sasuke glanced and saw Sakura covering her hand with her mouth as she stared at her phone screen, Hinata by her side, her eyes equally as wide. The dark haired girl looked up from her phone and their eyes met. Sasuke fought the urge to furrow his eyebrows in confusion as he kept his expression carefully neutral. He glanced to the front of the class where the students were also taking out their phones, gasping and cursing quietly under their breath as some huddled around those with their phones out. Sasuke turned on his own device and saw that the notification wasn’t because Suigetsu texted him. It was from the instagram account that was responsible for posting news to the whole school.

Sasuke pressed on the notification and a new post opened. He stared at his screen and frowned. For a second he couldn’t believe if what he was seeing was real but the image didn’t change and the whispers around him didn’t stop. Sasuke felt eyes on him. The post didn’t have any text underneath it, no important news that informed them about an upcoming disco or exhibition. There was only one photo and Sasuke recognised himself, naked and in the school shower. His right arm was raised as he had been putting the shower head back in place. His forearm was completely exposed, just like the rest of his body from the chest up. Sasuke felt like he couldn’t swallow, he felt like he couldn’t even breathe or think properly as he couldn't take his eyes away from the photo. Everything seemed to have gone silent around him until Sasuke felt someone come up behind him.

“I guess you’re left handed.” He heard Kiba’s voice right beside his ear. “So tell me, how disappointed were you when you failed and stayed alive?”

Sasuke grabbed the history coursebook of his desk and in one smooth motion hit the hard cover against Kiba’s face. Kiba let out a pained sound of surprise as the force knocked him back. He fell back, catching himself on the edge of the table behind him as he clutched his nose with his other hand. Sasuke got out of his seat and swung again, managing to hit Kiba on the cheek before the other boy moved to protect his face and swung with his left hand. He hit Sasuke on the jaw, catching the corner of his mouth in the collision. Sasuke stumbled but didn’t fall and tried swinging again but Kiba dodged the book and charged forward, knocking them both down on the ground. The book fell from Sasuke’s hands as Kiba landed a punch to his eye but before the other boy could punch again Sasuke kicked him in the stomach, knocking Kiba back. Sasuke pushed himself off the ground and was about to try and punch Kiba again when he felt hands on his shoulder and bicep, pulling him back and stopping him from moving forward. Sasuke moved his arm back, trying to push off whoever was restraining him. He saw Choji kneel down next to Kiba to check if the boy was alright. His nose was bleeding and he was panting but he was grinning, all teeth and triumph as he looked at Sasuke.

“Hey, easy, easy…” Sasuke heard his teacher's voice behind him. He glanced back to see Asuma holding him, in case Sasuke tried to attack again but the boy was calm. Other than the laboured breathing, his heart quickly beating and adrenaline still flowing in his veins, he was relaxed. He unclenched his fists and lowered his arm. Asuma relaxed his grip too but didn’t let go. “What the hell happened here?” The man’s eyebrows were furrowed in a frown, and he looked from Sasuke to Kiba. “What were you two thinking, huh?” Kiba stood up with Choji’s help and dusted himself off. His grin had grown smaller but he was still smirking. Asuma’s gaze travelled from one boy to the other and he sighed when neither answered him. “Right, I’m taking you two to the principal. Everyone else, open your coursebooks and start reading. Shikamaru, you’re in charge.”

Sasuke avoided looking at Kiba as the two of them were led down the hall towards the first floor. Surprisingly the other boy didn’t say anything as they were taken to the principal's office. Asuma informed Minato of what happened, the two boys were ordered to sit in the waiting room and their parents were called. The administrator handed the two boys napkins for the blood and sat down behind her desk. As the adrenaline wore down Sasuke began feeling an ache in the corner of his lip and right under eye. His tongue went over the split on his bottom lip and he felt the metallic taste of blood. Sasuke didn’t need a mirror to know that he’ll end up with a black eye as the staff at the camp were never shy in giving out punches. Kiba sighed and snorted, making Sasuke glance at him. The other boy had the tissue pressed against his nose and was staring at the wall in front of them. He seemed to have noticed Sasuke’s gaze and looked to the side, their eyes meeting.

“The fuck are you staring at? Fucking cutter.” Sasuke held his gaze, not looking away after he’d been caught staring, and he didn’t answer Kiba either. “Hitting me with a book like a bitch. Just wait till you leave school grounds, I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Do it.”

“The fuck did you say?” Kiba glared at him.

“I said do it. I don’t think you will.”

“Yeah, I bet you’d like that you little bitch… I’ll make you regret ever coming back here.”

“Settle down you two.” The administrator scolded them, looking over her computer. Sasuke stared at the boy a moment longer, curious to see if Kiba would go through with his threat but he ended up looking away.

Not only did the news about the cops had been keeping him on edge but now this happened. A picture of him had been published for the whole school to see. He supposed the only pleasant thing about it was that it wasn’t a full body picture and he could keep a bit of his dignity but it didn’t seem to matter when now everyone knew that he’d tried to kill himself. Sasuke sighed and leaned his head against the wall. It had happened so long ago that Sasuke didn’t ever notice the scar anymore, his parents knew about it and he didn’t care much about what others thought but still, this wasn’t something he wanted to share with the whole world. Especially when people like Kiba and Naruto would now have more things to talk about. Though Sasuke was certain that this was their handiwork. The account was run by the administration of the school. Only the teachers and other workers had the right to post anything. None of the students had the password to the account. And the only one who would be able to somehow get it would be Naruto.

Sasuke knew that Naruto changed in these years, everything from his look to the way he acted showed that he wasn’t the little boy Sasuke once knew. But a part of Sasuke had still hoped that Naruto wasn’t a complete douchebag now. Though after today he realized that he was wrong to hope for such a thing. At some point of the wait Sasuke heard the administrator gasp and she quickly got up from behind her desk and walked into the principal’s office. Though Sasuke couldn’t have been bothered to look her way as he stared at the wall, waiting until his parents would arrive. 20 minutes must’ve passed after the incident when the three adults walked into the office. Both Sasuke’s father and Kiba’s mother were still in uniform and all three had matching expressions of disappointment and anger on their faces.

“I can’t even begin to say how disappointed I am.”

Sasuke kept his head low in the principal’s office, staring at the ground while his father spoke with Minato. Kakashi and Asuma had also joined them in the office and the room had a tense atmosphere in it as both of the boys refused to talk. Sasuke could feel Minato’s intense gaze on him. He didn’t feel sorry for what he did. He’d do it again but he didn’t like being in the center of attention so much either. Kiba had his arms crossed over his chest and didn’t look happy to be there either.

“Could either of you two actually explain what happened?” Minato questioned and after a few seconds of silence, the man sighed. “Asuma, you said they were already fighting when you came into the classroom?” The man nodded.

“Found them fighting, separated ‘em, and when I got back the other students said Sasuke threw the first punch.” Sasuke heard his father sigh. “Though the other thing they said was…”

“I’m aware.” Minato said before Asuma could finish. “And since this is the first time that either of you two had ended up in my office, I’m letting you off with a warning. You’re especially lucky that I know your parents and I’m certain that they will take care of a fitting punishment, which is why I’m letting you go without a suspension or detention but I must warn you that if this happens again the consequences will not be so light.” Sasuke could hear both of the mothers let out relieved sighs.

“Apologize to the principal for acting so dumb.” Kiba groaned but followed his mother’s order and apologized.

“Now that it was settled, I’d like to wish you a good day.” Minato nodded towards Kiba’s mother. “But, Sasuke, I want you and your parents to stay.” Sasuke looked up at the blonde man and held his gaze as Kiba, his mom and Asuma left the office. For a second Sasuke wondered if Kiba’s mom would press charges as he was the one who attacked first but the fact that Fugaku was her boss made him think that something like that wouldn’t happen. Minato looked down at his desk, considering something before he looked back up at Sasuke’s parents. “Before the fight happened, I was informed that a certain… photo of Sasuke was posted on the school’s account. Now Kiba could have said something concerning the photo and that was what could have triggered the fight but it’s not the fight that I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What photo are you talking about?” Sasuke’s father asked and Minato turned on his laptop, opened the page of the post and turned the computer screen towards his parents.

“Now, since Sasuke is underage and this photo was posted without his or the parents’ consent I believe certain action should be taken. Fugaku, as you’re the police captain I wanted to wait for you to get here before beginning this discussion.” Sasuke lowered his eyes back to the ground when he felt his mother and Kakashi look at him. Even Minato saw it, which means, truly everyone in the school could see it. “We are working on taking the post down and trying to find the culprit.”

“So you want to tell me that you don’t know who did this?” Fugaku questioned and Minato shook his head.

“If we did, believe me, the authorities would’ve been called immediately as this photo was taken in the boy’s shower room. But sadly we don’t know who’s job this was. It was posted from an anonymous account by someone who managed to hack into the school's account.” His parents were quiet as they took in the information. Sasuke felt his mother’s hand on his shoulder.

“The police will get involved in this too.” Fugaku said after a few moments of silence. “If this was done by a teacher, they will be found and dealt with.” Minato nodded.

“And…” Minato began again. “Seeing the scar, it raises worry.” Sasuke glanced up at the principal and felt his mother tighten her hold on him. “I’ve spoken with Kakashi, Sasuke’s homeroom teacher, and I have been informed of the countless absences, missing homework assignments and now… the scar. The school has a great guidance counselor and psychologist. Such things aren’t uncommon in teens and I would like to give you a business card with a good therapist’s number.” Sasuke’s parents were silent as Minato handed them the small white card.

Notes:

A lot of you guys had noticed the foreshadowing leading to this part, and I'm really glad you did,
Sai's comments were the most obvious ones but I wonder if any of you saw Sasuke's reaction coming? He didn't even have a second though before he swung at Kiba. He didn't think abut the consequences that he might face, all that he was led by were the emotions he felt at the moment, which could've been foreseen by Suigetsu's and Haku's words! Now I'm not saying anything if you didn't make the connections between them but I'm interested to see how many of you did:
Sasuke is dangerous because he is all emotion. While they're both smart Suigetsu is more rational while Sasuke is lead by his emotions.

"Suigetsu was the one with the head, even if he didn’t show it most of the time. He looked out for them, he would plan everything out and then would do something, Sasuke on the other hand was driven fully by emotions. Even if the boy learned to control when and where he should show them, he never thought before acting on them. Both Sasuke and Jugo were affected by their emotions, even if they were the calmer members of the group. Suigetsu figured that’s what made them more dangerous.

It’s hard to read their next move. Jugo could be relaxed one minute and then throw a chair at someone the next because he got irritated, Sasuke could be calm and then kill someone the next moment. Even if Sasuke had more self control than Jugo, Suigetsu still noticed that the boy would rarely think anything through. "

And Haku, as mentioned before, is great at reading people, which meant, he could sense Sasuke's instability. And as Haku is someone who spends more time around dangerous people, he warned Naruto, because he knew that messing with an unstable person could lead to you getting stabbed or having your tires slashed.

So this was a fun chapter to write, I really couldn't wait until I could publish this. And now I can't wait to hear your thoughts about it

Chapter 17

Summary:

Rekindling old sparks

Notes:

Hi, everyone,
It's been a while since our last chapter, and I think you noticed the reason why.

This experience was definitely something new, it's never happened to me before and it was quite humiliating and humbling at the same time. I deeply want to apologise for what happened and say sorry to all of the people who were affected by this. I really hope you can understand.

Thank you for all of your support and worry, it means a lot to me. I'm really happy to say that everything was dealt with and I'll be back to posting on our usual schedule. And again, I apologise that you had to go through such a thing.

“Sasuke was such a bright child.” Minato continued. “So hardworking and polite, so when I was informed about these gaps in his education I was truly taken by surprise. Right, Kakashi?” Minato glanced to Sasuke’s teacher, who’s been standing quietly for the most part. Kakashi nodded. 

 

“It’s not uncommon for teenagers to burnout and go through such a phase. When he came here it was clear how much he cared about his education, sitting with his nose buried in books each chance he got, and he got quite good marks on his first test. It was apparent how much he was trying and because of that I was willing to give him a second chance when I noticed his grades were starting to slip.” Kakashi locked eyes with Fugaku. “But it seemed like the longer I let this go the worse it got. This meeting is long overdue and as a teacher, it is my fault that I allowed this to get so far, though it is a shame that when we finally got the chance to talk it’s under such circumstances.” Fugaku nodded. 

 

“We will make sure that he completes all of his assignments and begins working seriously again.” Fugaku turned to Minato and motioned to the card he had in hand. “Thank you, we’ll take care of him and get help if he’ll need it.” 

 

Sasuke didn’t need to see his father’s face to know that the man was furious. He stayed behind his parents, practically dragging his feet, as they walked towards the car. His dad didn’t say a word but Sasuke didn’t need to hear anything to know how angry Fugaku was, the man’s body language was enough. When they got in the car Sasuke noticed Fugaku tearing the white card into small pieces and dropping them in the cup holder in his car. The man started the car and Sasuke turned to look out the window. 

 

“Professional help…” Fugaku muttered. “How absurd. Can you believe such a thing?” He glanced at Mikoto before putting his hands on the steering wheel. “To even think of saying such words to me… I have never experienced such humiliation in my life.” Sasuke felt his father’s eyes on him though the rear view mirror. “I don’t understand what we did wrong. We raised you the same and yet Itachi turned out normal while you…” Sasuke tried to tune out his father’s words but the man’s voice was too loud. Of course reputation is the only thing his father would care about in such a moment. It seems like that’s the only thing anyone cares about. Sasuke knows that the teachers aren’t blind. They heard all the rumors about him, they saw all of the ways Naruto and Kiba were bothering him and yet they didn’t do anything until it got too far. The teachers didn’t care about him, only putting up a caring front in front of other adults. His parents didn’t care that he began going down the wrong path until they were called to the school and a dark speck was put on their perfect reputation. Only then did they decide to put on their caring parent masks.

 

“You just keep finding new ways to disappoint us. The camp was supposed to help, we wasted so much money on something that was supposed to make you better and you came back worse… At this point you can go and stick needles in your arms. I don’t care if we find you dead on the street. You’ve already disappointed us as much as you could. I doubt there’s anything worse you could do.” Fugaku huffed.  “Everything was fine until you came back. You can get ready for your punishment when we get back home and then start packing your bags because I will not allow such a disgrace to live under my roof. And don’t expect any dinner tonight.” 

 

Sasuke didn't take his eyes away from the window. He didn’t care for the beating. Even if he’d fight the urge to flinch every time an adult would raise their hand around him, he was no longer scared of his father’s belt. The worst thing that his dad and anyone else here could do was beat him and publish humiliating photos of him. It was nothing compared to the abuse Sasuke suffered at the camp. The camp… Sasuke spent too much time away from it. He had relaxed too much under the false front of security in this town. He had forgotten how much everyone truly only cared about themselves. He hadn’t expected Naruto and Kiba to go so far. He should’ve seen it coming. He had learned to read people’s body language and foresee their next moves. Their harmless looks made Sasuke put his guard down and that was his mistake. He’d learned that there were two types of people in the world long ago. He shouldn’t have forgotten all of the lessons he learned at the camp. There were people that would make his life hell just for a laugh, not caring for others, not showing any mercy, and not all of those people looked capable of such things. Orochimaru had been nice to him at the start too and it turned out that the man would take any chance he got to harm children. Just because Naruto and Kiba looked friendly it didn’t mean that they were.

 

“And it’s too late to hope that people won’t talk. Lord, I apologise for saying your name in vain but for Christ’s sake, Sasuke. The whole school has seen the photo.”

 

Sasuke let out an inaudible sigh and focused on the houses outside the window. After hearing about the cops Sasuke had been distracted but that was no excuse. He should’ve been more alert of his surroundings. He should’ve done something from the start. Maybe then it wouldn't have gone so far. But it was too late to think of what could’ve been. Now all that’s left is to think of what to do. He’d forgotten that people outside of the camp could be just as cruel, if not crueler. He’d forgotten that not everyone was like his friends. Not everyone were loyal or just. He began trusting the false appearance of safety and that was his biggest mistake. He forgot that people can still harm him, even outside of the camp. He forgot that loyalty and past history didn’t mean much for everyone. Naruto being a prime example of that. The blond boy clearly didn’t care about their past friendship when he began bullying Sasuke. Naruto and Kiba were too cowardly to be upfront with their bullying, which made Sasuke ignore them and stop caring. He let his guard down and that was his mistake, not anyone else’s. He’d forgotten that appearances don’t mean everything. 

 

His friends were rough around the edges, sharpened looks and tongues from the cruelty of the world, never sugar coating anything and yet they were the most loyal people Sasuke’s ever met. He knew that they’d never betray him, unlike his childhood friends. Suigetsu was a drug addict and a murder and yet he was just, never attacking anyone unprovoked. He was brutally honest and looked out for himself from the first day but he wasn’t unkind. He helped the weaker ones and the ones in need of guidance. The white-haired boy was charismatic enough to make friends with the boys he’d gotten into fights with at the camp and convince people that barely knew him to give him big favors, like staying at their house. Suigetsu wasn’t kind but he wasn’t mean. While Karin was a mean-spoken and deeply mistrusting girl, she was one of the most compassionate and supportive people that Sasuke knew. Jugo was big and scary, his outer appearance putting people on edge most of the time. And to make matters worse he’d been on the news for beating his classmate to death and yet he had the kindest soul. The ginger-haired boy craved to trust people and see the good in everyone. He was so empathic and considerate of others. All of them were complete contrasts of their looks and all it took was a one on one conversation with each of them to gain a friend for life. 

 

While those who looked good, who came from loving families, had food on the table, a warm bed, a roof over their heads were the first ones to take the chance to harm Sasuke. He should’ve realized that those who had never suffered would never understand how much pain a person is capable of causing. Sasuke has met many people in his life and he’d made up his mind about most of them already. This town, these people, they had no place for someone broken and used like him - a murderer- a lost cause. His parents should just send him away again or he could leave, there truly was no purpose for him here. No one cared. 

 

When they got home Sasuke didn’t wait for his father to start his monologue and began walking straight to his room, which seemed to infuriate his father even further.

 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Sasuke glanced back, not bothering to turn to face his father fully. 

 

“My room.” 

 

“Did I allow you to go there? You will go to my bedroom and wait there until I come.” Sasuke didn’t answer as he  followed the command. 

 

He sat down on the edge of his parents’ bed and stared blankly at the wall. He didn’t mind being sent away from this town but he didn’t know where he would go. If his father was planning on sending him to another camp then he would run away. Sasuke didn’t want to go back there or to any place similar. He hated the idea of having to go through such suffering again and if that weren’t enough, he would be completely alone as his friends would stay here. He’d run away before anyone could come get him. He’d go and live with Suigetsu or he’d go to a completely different town all together and he could find a job. He wasn’t afraid of sleeping outside and Sasuke was certain that he could survive anything that life would throw his way. 

 

When the bedroom door opened and his father walked in, Sasuke glanced up at the man with an apathetic expression on his face. Fugaku ordered him to get in position and Sasuke did just that, resting the palms of his hands flat against the wall. He stared at the gray paint on the wall, not flinching or even blinking in pain or surprise when his dad’s belt collided with his bare skin. He didn’t whine as the hits came flying down, only letting out a sigh at a particularly painful hit. The lack of response seemed to anger his father even further. The man usually kept the monologues for after the punishment but he didn’t seem to be able to control himself from stopping the onslaught with the belt. 

 

“So much time, so much money and energy wasted on raising you to make you turn out a normal and outstanding citizen and this is how you thank us? By not obeying us and our rules, by not trying to become better at the camp, instead opting to harming yourself so that you wouldn’t have to listen to the rules there. And now this. Humiliating us in front of the whole school, in front of the other families, in front of Minato. I don’t understand what we did wrong. Were we not strict enough with you? We gave you everything you could ever ask for, we fed you, we clothed you and this is what you do in return. I truly do not understand what is wrong with you.” 

 

Sasuke closed his eyes at one point of the monologue. He tried not to listen, to let his father’s words go in through one ear and out the other but for some strange reason it seemed impossible. And worst of all, his father’s words stung far worse than any hit  the belt could give him. Because he truly believed that those words were true. 

 

“Answer me. What did we not give you? What on earth possessed you to act like such a… such a corrupt criminal.” Sasuke blinked his eyes open and stared at the gray in front of his eyes. 

 

“I don’t know.” He heard his father sigh and let out a humourless laugh. “Get out. Get out of my room. I don’t want to see your face until you’re out of my house.” 

 

Sasuke pulled up his pants, ignoring the warm stinging pain as the fabric rubbed against his skin, and left without looking back. He shut his bedroom door behind him and stopped near the entrance. He stared at his bedroom, a room that was once his but now felt like it belonged to a stranger. Sasuke licked his lips as he realized that he left his book bag at school and sighed. Sasuke sat down on the edge of his bed, crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the wooden floor. He could’ve began packing his things. Even if he didn’t have a bag, he could’ve asked his mother for one or he could’ve at least began to look through his stuff of what he could want and need. He should’ve been doing that but he wasn’t. He couldn’t force himself to care enough about his father’s wishes or his own well being. 

 

The fight ended just as quickly as it started and before Naruto could realize what was going on Kiba was already on the floor with Choji kneeling beside him, while Sasuke was being held back by the teacher. The two boys were escorted out to the principal’s office but tension was still high in the air. Their history class ended with everyone’s minds still on the fight and hushed whispers became full on gossip sessions when the bell rang, dismissing them. Naruto packed his bag, unusually quiet, as he kept going back to the event leading up to the fight. Then he noticed two seats that still had coursebooks and backpacks near the desks. And Naruto put it upon himself to bring the forgotten items to their owners. With his own backpack on one shoulder, Kiba’s bag on the other and Sasuke’s in his hands, he made his way down to his father’s office but he was late. When he stepped inside neither Sasuke nor Kiba were there, instead his dad was talking with Kakashi, the two adults going quiet when he entered. 

 

“They forgot their stuff, huh?” His father said in his usual gentle tone of voice. Naruto nodded. 

 

“I could go over to their houses and drop their things off.” Minato pressed his lips in a thin line and after a moment of silence spoke. 

 

“Just don’t be late for lunch. Your mother won’t like that.” Naruto smiled and gave his dad an affirmative answer but just as he turned to leave, he stopped in front of the closed door. 

 

“Uh… dad, there’s also something that I’ll need to tell you.” 

 

“What is it?” Naruto took in a breath and swallowed. 

 

“I’ll tell you at home.” 

 

With those words he left his dad’s office and walked out of the school, going down the familiar path towards Kiba’s home. 

 

Sasuke wasn’t sure how much time passed as he continued to sit silently, staring into nothing while his mind raced with thoughts when his bedroom door opened. He glanced to the side, expecting to see his mother, only to see a face he hadn’t seen in a very long time. 

 

“There you are, you little rascal. Mind coming out?” Sasuke stared at Obito, not sure if he was truly seeing his uncle. It felt just like when he’d seen his parents for the first time after the camp, he felt like he was in a dream. Sasuke got out of bed and with unrushed steps walked past his uncle and out into the hall. “We were just talking about you.” Sasuke hadn’t even heard or noticed when Obito pulled into their driveway and was welcomed inside. His grandfather was standing by his mother, both of their gazes landed on Sasuke when he came out. While Fugaku was standing further to the side, his arms crossed and an unhappy expression on his face. 

 

“Did you pack your things?” Sasuke looked his father in the eyes. 

 

“No.” That seemed to annoy Fugaku immediately. His father huffed, uncrossing his arms in a quick motion that made Sasuke wonder whether or not his father was going to hit him. 

 

“Why not? I told you to-”

 

“Give the boy some time.” His grandfather’s deep voice cut his dad off. “I don’t see any reason to rush, we can wait.” His father seemed to deflate at those words, not daring to challenge Madara or even look him in the eyes. While his grandpa didn’t seem to be affected by the tense atmosphere in the house and casually walked over to Sasuke, spreading his arms out, expecting a hug. 

 

Sasuke remembered all of the times when he was younger and he’d run into his grandpa’s embrace. This time he was a lot more reluctant and hesitant. He’d gotten used to only feeling his friends touch him, never allowing a stranger to get close enough to even bump into him. But this wasn’t a stranger, this was his grandpa, and Sasuke let the man hug him, no doubt missing his grandchild just as much as Sasuke had missed him. Madara pulled back, his hands squeezing Sasuke’s shoulders and looked the boy up and down. Madara tutted. 

 

“Christ, you’ve lost weight.”

 

“Father,” Sasuke heard his mom speak. “If you wouldn’t mind, we could tell Sasuke about the move now.” Sasuke glanced at his mother, then back at Madara. The man hummed, the sound a low rumble. 

 

“You’ll come live with us, for the time being.” Obito took the initiative to tell Sasuke the news. “Maybe a few months, maybe a year. Or maybe even longer, if that’s what you’ll want of course.” 

 

“Of course he’ll want to stay with his grandpa. Right, Sasuke? It’ll be a lot better than this place, no one will yell at you or-”

 

“It’ll be until everything dies down around here. The less you show your face around town the better and-” 

 

“Do not interrupt me when I’m speaking.” Sasuke had forgotten how loud and threatening his grandpa’s voice could be. Madara glared at Fugaku, his black eyes shining with irritation. “How could you call yourself a good father when you can’t even give your children a good example of how to be respectful?” Obito snickered, a grin stretching on his face, as he looked out the window, trying not to laugh. Fugaku looked away. Madara turned his attention back to Sasuke. “Take whatever you think you’ll need. We’ll wait for you and then we’re leaving. Can’t stand being in this place, there’s so little light… Mikoto, pull back the curtains.” 

 

When his mom went to do as she was told the doorbell rang. Fugaku went to open it and after a few seconds he called for Sasuke. When he came over, he saw Naruto standing outside, holding Sasuke’s backpack. Blue eyes met his own. 

 

“Hey…” Naruto sounded unsure of himself when he spoke, it was a complete contrast to his usual cocky attitude. “Brought your stuff.” Naruto raised his backpack higher while Fugaku went back into the living room with a huff, too annoyed to even look at anyone, much less interact with Naruto at the moment. Sasuke reached for the bag and took it without bothering to thank Naruto. The blonde boy raised his right hand to scratch at the back of his neck and looked to the side, not being able to look Sasuke in the eyes. “So… You’ve got guests over?” Sasuke didn’t follow Naruto’s gaze to the black Mercedes in their driveway. He didn’t let his gaze wander anywhere other than Naruto’s eyes. He wasn’t going to have his guard down like he did before. 

 

“Do you want something?” That got Naruto to look back at Sasuke.

 

“No, I just- I…” Naruto lowered his gaze to the cement steps he was standing on. “I just wanted to bring your backpack to you.” Sasuke didn’t say anything. He could hear his mom discussing something with his uncle in the living room but he couldn’t quite make out what it was and Naruto seemed to grow more uncomfortable as the silence stretched. Naruto sighed. “I guess I’ll be on my way then.” 

 

Sasuke watched Naruto leave and closed the door. When he walked back to the living room everyone went quiet. His grandfather called him to sit down on the couch near him and Sasuke followed the offer without any complaints. Obito was on his other side, leaning against the couch, rather than sitting on it. Sasuke glanced at his mother, who was fiddling with the edges of her skirt, looking at her son with an expression similar to the one she had when Sasuke was taken to the camp. His father was standing by the further wall, not even looking at Sasuke. Then Mikoto ran her palms down her skirt, straightening the fabric far too many times than need be and put her right hand to rest on the hand rest of the armchair that she was sitting on. 

 

“Sasuke,” Her voice was quiet and gentle. “Me and your father spoke and we think that for now, at least until the police find the culprit, who published that photograph, it will be better for you to live with your grandfather and uncle. You’ll be going to school here of course but…” Mikoto swallowed and lowered her eyes. No one seemed to be able to hold his gaze today, Sasuke noticed. “You’ve come back changed. You’re no longer the sweet boy that I remember and we think that until you get this behavior under control it will be best for you to… not stay here.” She looked up at Sasuke, searching his expression but he kept his face blank of any emotions which seemed to give her confidence to continue. “We love you very much. All that we’ve done was in thought that it will help and better you and it pains us so much to see you leave once again but… I think this will be better for everyone.” The room got quiet, it felt as if the adults were holding their breath, waiting for a bomb to explode. 

 

“Ok. When do we leave?” 

 

“The sooner you pack your bags the sooner we leave,” Obito answered. “but there’s still a few things we need to discuss with your mother. For starters, how will you get to and from school?” Obito looked at his sister. “I work long hours, I’ll be able to get him to school, though you’ll have to get up early from now on, rascal, but you know that buses to our city from here go only twice a day. He’d have to wait for a while and it would be a long ride too. I could take him after school but that would mean that he’d have to wait until I’d be finished with work. Where would he go?” Sasuke wanted to say that he could find a place to stay at, that he go be with Suigetsu but years of learning to stay silent near adults made him keep his mouth shut. Instead, his mother spoke. 

 

“I could arrange something.” 

 

When Naruto left Sasuke's house, rather than going straight home, he took a detour around town. He needed to clear his head and think about everything that happened today. He remembered all of the events that led them to this incident. Naruto would’ve never expected that their jokes could go so far. By the time he got home his dad was already back from work and his parents were talking in the kitchen. He changed into a more comfortable outfit and went to the kitchen to get something to eat. Naruto sat down at his usual spot in the kitchen while his parents looked at him. Naruto raised his eyes to meet theirs. 

 

“How was your day at school?” Naruto shrugged. 

 

“I bet dad already told you everything.” Kushina nodded and put down the cup, that she was drying, on the counter. 

 

“I spoke with Mikoto.” Naruto stopped shuffling food in his mouth to look at his mother in a questioning stare. “I’m not sure about the details but apparently Sasuke will be staying with his grandpa.” 

 

“I’m surprised they’re not shipping him off back to that previous school.” 

 

“Naruto.” His mom reprimanded him. “He’s going with his grandpa and since he’ll have to wait for his uncle to pick him up, he’ll need a place to stay at after school.” Naruto put his fork down on the plate. “And I agreed to let him stay here with us.” 

 

“Why?” 

 

“What do you mean why?” Kushina frowned. “He’s your friend isn’t he? You’ve been hanging out so what’s the problem?” Minato took his wife’s hand in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze as he smiled at her. Then he looked back at his son. 

 

“We thought you’d like the news.”

 

“Yeah, I do… I just wasn’t expecting it, you know.” Minato smiled at his son too. 

 

“What was the thing you wanted to tell me?” 

 

“Oh,” Naruto glanced down for a split second. “It was… It was nothing, dad. I just wanted to tell you that I did well on my math test.” 

 

“Good job!” His mom smiled so wide, she looked like she was glowing, from true, honest happiness. 

 

“We’re proud of you.” 

 

When Sasuke left the house, with his backpack and a duffel bag on his shoulders, he wasn’t scared, confused or sad. He didn’t feel any of the emotions that he felt when he realized that he wasn’t going back home when he was taken the first time. He felt strangely at peace. The atmosphere in the car wasn’t tense, like in his father’s car and Sasuke wasn’t sure whether it was because he felt calm with these people or because he was too focused on other things. 

 

As far as Sauke knew, the police hadn’t contacted neither Suigetsu or Jugo so far. Which meant it could’ve just been a big coincidence that they went to talk to Karin’s father. Or maybe they just hadn’t gotten so far down the list to go searching for the boys. If they’re questioning every kid about the abuse then sooner or later Orochimaru’s death would come to life. Sasuke supposed not getting rid of the body might’ve been a big mistake that could bite him in the ass one day but shouldn’t it have started to decompose by this point? It’s been more than two months after all. And Sasuke hadn’t heard or seen anything on the news reporting about the man’s death so Kabuto couldn’t have been the one to report to the police. His friends, even if questioned, already knew their alibis and the other kids didn’t know anything. There were no cameras in the place, no proof of him committing the act. The knife couldn’t have risen from the swamp. He was safe. They were safe. There was no need to worry. 

 

“It’s good to see you.” Obito’s voice got his attention. “It’s been a while, huh...” The man glanced at him through the rearview mirror for a second before turning his attention back to the road. “So many years went by. You’re all big now.” Sasuke heard his grandfather hum in agreement. “We were all taken by surprise when your mom told us that you were sent to some boarding school. We haven’t seen you for so long and she wouldn’t give us an address to go visit you during holidays. Four years went by.” Obito shook his head in disbelief. “Well, it’s good to have you back.  

 

“And now you’ll be with us.” Madara said and Obito agreed. 

 

“Your mother wasn’t always like this.” Obito said after some time, his quiet voice seemed loud in the silent car. “She wasn’t so secretive, so… well, I can’t say stuck up but… She wasn’t trying to be perfect all the time, you get what I mean?” Obito glanced at Sasuke and the boy hummed in answer. “Then she met your father.” 

 

Sasuke didn’t mind the big house or the room that he was given. He didn’t mind the fact that he would now be in his grandpa’s and uncle’s company instead of his parents’, he didn’t even mind the fact that he’d have to go to and from school with his uncle. What he did dislike though, was the act that it won’t be as easy to meet with his friends. He’d have to stay with Naruto after school and then he would be picked up by his uncle. Sasuke wasn’t sure if his uncle would be as not caring as his mother was when it came to staying out all night. He’d have to check the boundaries they had set for him and he’d also have to come up with lies to tell Naruto and his parents on why he couldn’t stay with them after class. Or maybe he’ll be upfront about it and just tell them that he didn’t like Naruto and didn’t want to stay with him. After all, Sasuke never liked lying. While his friends, specifically Suigetsu, laughed at his misfortune, until he heard what happened that put Sasuke in this situation in the first place. When he sent the message, explaining how a photo of him was now going around school and what Kiba had said to him, he didn’t get an answer for a while until Karin said how fucked it all was.  

 

The next day, he managed to leave school without Naruto bothering to stop him and offer to go to his house. Sasuke had managed to ignore the stares the students had been throwing his way the whole day the same way he’d ignored the kids in the camp and the way they looked at him when they realised that he was getting fucked by Orochimaru. It was easy to ignore their stares and whispers, it was easy to act like nothing had happened yesterday, what wasn’t easy to handle though, was the idea that if he won’t do anything, he might not be able to see his friends every day and on top of that other students might take the initiative to begin their own rounds of cruel jokes and comments. The photograph would give them quite a lot to go by on. 

 

He met with Suigetsu half way from the school to Zabuza’s house and they went on their way, wherever their legs took them, while Karin and Jugo were busy. 

 

“Can you give me something?” Suigetsu laughed at his request. 

 

“You ask me to quit but you yourself want to take ‘em?” 

 

“You’ve been holding on great and I know that you have something hidden somewhere. They might as well go to me than you.” 

 

“No. I ain’t letting you get addicted.” 

 

“Look who’s talking. I’m not gonna get addicted. And even if I will, those pills aren’t that strong, right? You managed to stay away from shooting up for more than a day. That’s great.” Suigetsu scoffed. 

 

“Yeah an’ it took me a whole bottle o’ whiskey and five hours of being bent over the toilet bowl. Withdrawals a fucking bitch.” Sasuke sighed. 

 

“Still… can’t you give me those pills? I need to take something. Sooner or later I’ll have to go to Naruto’s house and I won’t be able to handle it sober.” Suigetsu smirked. “Look, I know I’m acting like a total hypocrite but you understand how it is.” 

 

“Yeah, I do. That’s why I ain’t gonna give you anythin’.” 

 

“Is this supposed to be your revenge?” Suigetsu hummed, not giving Sasuke a true answer. 

 

They’d spent another hour together until Sasuke finally decided that he should go to Naruto’s house. If their moms agreed that they’ll be spending everyday together then Sasuke should try and at least show his face in their residence on the first day. He could think of what to say to get out of this another day. Suigetsu walked with him all the way to Naruto’s house and when they reached the building Suigetsu took him by the wrist, stopping Sasuke from going any further. The raven-haired boy glanced back and looked at Suigetsu. The white-haired boy looked at Sasuke, his violet eyes strangely serious, a contrast from his usually relaxed demeanor. 

 

“If anythin’ happens, call me.” Sasuke blinked, a bit confused, and then nodded. Suigetsu smiled and leaned down, capturing Sasuke’s lips in a sweet kiss. But Suigetsu didn’t let up after a few seconds and Sasuke brought his hand up to push at Suigetsu’s chest. The older boy let Sasuke push him back and licked his lips, staring into Sasuke’s eyes. “Call me, a’right?” Sasuke nodded again and watched Suigetsu take a step back and giving Sasuke one last look, the white-haired boy turned to leave. 

 

Still feeling Suigetsu’s lips on his own, Sasuke went towards the front door of Naruto’s house and rang the doorbell. He didn’t have to wait for long as Kashina opened the door for him with a wide smile on her face. She let him in and called Naruto to come to the foyer. When Sasuke took off his shoes and Kushina went into the kitchen, he followed Naruto into the other boy’s room. Sasuke put his backpack on the floor near the bed, sitting down next to it, and took out his math coursebook. Naruto followed his lead and sat down on the floor too, though he kept a bit of a distance between them. The blonde boy was a bit loud, sighing and huffing as he flipped through the pages of his book, while Sasuke silently watched him. When Naruto got to the right page he turned to glance at Sasuke and his eyes widened, looking a bit taken aback to see the other boy already staring at him. Naruto cleared his throat. 

 

“So, uhm… Itachi gave us quiet a bit of homework…” He chuckled. “ 40 assignments… that’s… a lot.” He looked down at his book and scratched the back of his neck. “Did you understand anything from today’s lesson? I was pretty sure I was going insane trying to figure out those damn functions.” 

 

“I still have to do my missing homework assignments first.” Sasuke looked down at his open notebook. 

 

“Oh, right. Where are you at?” 

 

“Page 156.” 

 

“156? Oh, progressions.” Sasuke fought the urge to frown at the amount of times Naruto had said ‘oh’. “I still have trouble understanding them. Especially with the sums. But how can you be so far behind?” 

 

“I was busy with other things.” Naruto scoffed at that.

 

“I’ve been busy too but even I managed to do my homework and not miss any classes. And what could you  have even been busy with?” Sasuke didn’t answer and began writing down the examples from his coursebook. Naruto licked his lips and turned his head away from Sasuke. He sighed and another few seconds passed before he spoke again. “I’m sorry, you know.” Sasuke stopped writing but didn’t turn to look at Naruto, didn’t even raise his eyes from his notebook. 

 

“What for?” 

 

“For acting like an asshole.” Sasuke looked up at that. “But you’ve been a total jerk too, you know. Disappearing without saying a word, then coming back and not talking to any of us… acting like you weren’t interested or didn’t care about us. Maybe I shouldn’t have done all those things but you were a rightful jerk too.” Sasuke continued to look at him and Naruto groaned. “At least say something, will you? It’s already awkward, I’m trying to make conversation and you’re not helping at all.” Sasuke looked away and leaned against the bed. 

 

“I’m not good at it.” 

 

“Not good at what?” 

 

“Talking. Conversations.” Naruto let out a huff of breath. 

 

“Yeah right. You were pretty good at it back in the day when you used to call me an idiot.” A hint of a smile appeared on Naruto’s face at the memory. “I get that you changed, that we all did but you could at least talk to me. It ain’t that hard. Talking, saying shit, now that’s easy. Apologising isn’t and since I did, I’m expecting one from you too.” Sasuke had his eyes fixed on his hands as he fiddled his thumbs.

 

“Talking can be hard too.” Naruto sighed. 

 

“But we’re doing it, aren’t we?” Sasuke looked up and was met with Naruto’s blue eyes. The raven-haired boy shrugged. “Well, it’s a start. So you got a new boyfriend?” Sasuke didn’t look up, didn’t even look surprised by the question. He looked as calm as he always did and when on a normal day that would’ve annoyed Naruto, right now he noticed how exhausted Sasuke looked.

 

“You got a new best friend?” Sasuke answered his question with a question of his own.

 

“Kiba?” Naruto asked and shrugged. “You didn’t expect me to stay waiting for you to come back, did you? I mean you clearly forgot about us when you made new friends.” Sasuke didn’t answer and the silence around them started to become suffocating once again. “I’m sorry about the photo.” Sasuke stared silently at the floor until finally - finally - he frowned and sighed, turning his head to look at Naruto. 

 

“Stop doing that.”

 

“Doing what?” 

 

“That. Stop apologising, stop treating me like I’m glass, like I’m going to break any second. What happened to the mean jabs? To the snide comments about Suigetsu? Just because everyone saw the photo, it doesn’t mean that you should start treating me differently.” Naruto blinked at him, clearly taken by surprise. Now Sasuke seemed to understand why Karin never enjoyed talking about her scars, why she never wanted strangers to see them. These looks, full of pity and sorrow, they weren’t just annoying, they were infuriating. “I’m not weak. I don’t need you talking to me in this quiet voice as if I were a child or a psycho that could snap. I’m not, alright?” 

 

“Alright.” Naruto nodded and Sasuke huffed, looking away to face the opposite wall. This wasn’t what Naruto had expected to happen. He thought Sasuke would continue being silent but it seemed like in some strange way, he didn’t even know how himself, he got through to Sasuke. Maybe not completely but at least a bit. Sasuke was being honest, he was talking. They were talking. And that was a start. “So you’re friends with Haku?” Naruto asked after a few moments of silence. He heard Sasuke let out a breath and turn to look at his books again. 

 

“Suigetsu knows his boyfriend.” 

 

“Oh… That’s nice, I guess.” 

 

At some point they got back to doing their homework and the time passed before either of them could realize. Sasuke’s phone buzzed with a text and he began putting his books back into his backpack. They hadn’t talked a lot but they spoke more than they did since Sasuke got back. They left Naruto’s room, the blonde boy walking him to the front door, when Minato noticed them. 

 

“Sasuke, it’s good to see you.” He smiled and Sasuke answered with a short ‘hello’. 

 

“Aren’t you staying for dinner?” Kushina followed Minato out of the living room. Sasuke shook his head and reached for his shoes. 

 

“My uncle will be here in a few minutes, I have to go.” 

 

The three of them stood at the foyer, watching Sasuke put on his shirt and take his jacket, then they wished him to have a good rest of the evening - or at least Kushina did - and Sasuke left. Obito was tired from work, they barely spoke while in the car and when they got in the house and Sasuke appreciated the peaceful silence of the house. The only noises coming from Madara’s television downstairs. Next morning came quickly enough and when Sasuke got to school he noticed Naruto’s group of friends talking louder than usual. Sasuke sat down at his seat and with his back turned to the group, he overheard their conversation. 

 

“But he can’t be expelled. I mean, both Kiba and Sasuke fought, and Sasuke started it, so why would only Kiba be expelled?” Sasuke recognised Sakura’s voice. 

 

“A man can’t be a few minutes late without you thinking that he’s expelled?” Sai answered her. “He sometimes comes to school with Shino, and he’s not here either. They’re probably both late.”

 

“Maybe.” Sakura sighed. 

 

The minutes passed by and when the bell was about to ring the classroom door opened and Shino walked in. He went to take his seat at the back of the class, where all of his friends were too.

 

“Hi, Shino, where’s Kiba?” Hinata asked. 

 

“We agreed to go to school together today but he didn’t meet me at our usual spot.” Shino’s breaths were coming out labored, as if he had run to school. “So I went to his house. His sister opened the door. Kiba’s in the hospital. Apparently, yesterday evening he went out for a walk and got jumped by two guys.” Sasuke heard Hinata and another girl, thorough he didn’t know who, gasp. 

 

“Oh, that’s horrible.” Hinata whispered. 

 

“At least it’ll be easy to file a police report, with his mom being a cop and all.” Shikamaru muttered. 

 

“He can’t give a report.” Shino continued when he seemed to catch his breath better. “His jaw was broken.” 

 

“Can’t he write one?” Choji asked. 

 

“He can’t. they broke both of his arms too.” 

Chapter 18

Summary:

Questions and answers

“It’s fucking brutal, what happened to Kiba.” Naruto said as he flipped through the pages of his English coursebook. Sasuke didn’t comment while he put down his own book in front of him. “I mean, he’s always been a cocky bastard and not everyone likes him but to beat him up like that, he must have pissed off the wrong guys.” Naruto huffed and sat down next to Sasuke. “He’s done a bunch of shit but I’m curios what the fuck did he say or do to get his ass beat like that…”

“Did you read hamlet?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Kakashi had us read it during the previous lesson. Why? Did you not understand a question?”

“I understand everything, I’m just interested, why are you talking so much instead of doing the homework? If you’ve read the play then get started on the questions.” Naruto shut his mouth, frowning a bit at Sasuke’s words but he complied and opened his notebook. After a few minutes, it was Sasuke who broke the silence.

“Kiba had it coming.” Naruto turned to face Sasuke, not having expected the other boy to say anything. “If you don’t know how to keep your mouth shut you get your ass beat. That’s just how the world works.” Naruto chuckled.

“Did they teach you street advice at that school of yours? I’d think you’d be the last guy to know such a thing.” Sasuke sighed and straightened his back.

“It’s just the type of stuff that if you don’t learn by theory, you’ll learn by practise. And clearly Kiba was never taught that lesson. Walking around school like a peacock, shoving his face in peoples’ personal space, laughing at others like a rooster.” Sasuke’s gaze was still on his notebook. “Yet still hiding behind you in case something goes wrong, ‘cause he’s too much of a pussy to do anything by himself. He tries to act all tough but he’s not. He’s clearly never met a real tough guy. Someone who actually knows how to survive in the real world. Those guys would beat his ass for the way he’s been running his mouth.” Sasuke licked his lips and gave Naruto a sidelong glance. The blonde boy was staring at him, his blue eyes a bit wide in surprise. Naruto let out a breath, a small smirk curving the corner of his lips.

“Yeah, he might not know when to draw the line but you still shouldn’t talk shit ‘bout him like that. He’s still my friend, you know.”

“Is he? Then why are you here instead of visiting him at the hospital with the rest of your friends.” Naruto scoffed.

“Christ, you talk as if you know everything. I’m here ‘cause our parents decided that we have to be together after school. And I can’t exactly ask you to come with us either, after that fight between you two.”

“You don’t have to be here. And neither do I.” Sasuke sighed and looked away from Naruto. “It’s not like I care about my grades or parents to bother staying here.” Sasuke pushed himself off the floor. “Go see your friends, I’m leaving.”

“What? Wait, you can’t.” Sasuke took his books from the floor.

“I can’t? That’s funny coming from you. Do you think I enjoy my time here with you? I'd much rather be with my own friends. And who’s gonna stop me from leaving? On top of that, since when do you care if I stay or not? Go see your buddy.”

That stopped Naruto from continuing to try and coax Sasuke to stay as the blonde boy only furrowed his eyebrows, shut his mouth and didn’t stop Sasuke from leaving his home. Sasuke walked out into the cold winter day with a quick step and a destination in his mind. It didn’t take long to reach the apartment that Suigetsu’s been staying at and Sasuke was let inside, though it wasn’t much warmer with most of the windows open. Jugo and Karin were sitting in one of the rooms, while Suigetsu was lying on the couch. Sasuke glanced at the white-haired boy and noticed his red eyes as Suigetsu greeted him with a smile. Sasuke frowned.

“It’s just weed.” Jugo spoke up and Sasuke turned to look at him. “I saw him smoke it. He didn’t take anything stronger.” Sasuke sighed and dropped his backpack by the couch.

“Did he get you two to vouch for him and his drug problem?”

“He didn’t convince me to do anything.” Karin defended herself while Sasuke sat down in between Jugo and Karin, looking at Suigetsu.

“Remember that Kiba guy I told you guys about?” That got his friends’ attention and each of them raised their heads to look at him. “He’s in the hospital. Know anything about that?” He looked from Suigetsu to Karin, then to Jugo. The oldest boy lowered his eyes.

“Oh, how sad.” There was mock pity in Karin’s voice. “What happened?”

“Apparently two guys broke both of his arms and his jaw.” Sasuke looked at Suigetsu when Jugo lowered his head. Unlike Jugo, Suigetsu held his gaze.

“Don’t look at me like tha’” Suigetsu smiled. “I was going for his knees too but the whore over there tol’ us to run.” Sasuke looked at Karin.

“You were in on that too?” Karin shrugged her shoulders.

“They needed someone to keep a lookout. And I told you to run because some dude was going down the alley. If you wanted to get caught you should’ve said so in the beginning. I wouldn’t mind seeing your ass in jail.” Suigetsu rolled his eyes, sighing at her words. Sasuke clenched his jaw and turned to look at Jugo again.

“Don’t tell me you were there too.”

“I’m sorry. I got so angry after hearing what he said to you, I couldn’t control it, I just… I had to break something.” Jugo rubbed his palms together. “And I stayed here. I didn’t want my therapist seeing these cuts.” The ginger-haired boy motioned to the split skin on his knuckles. “I bet she’s worried… I didn’t answer her calls.” Jugo sighed, his brows creased into a frown. “If she knew what I did she would be very disappointed.”

A head peaked from behind the corner of the hall. Haku glanced into the room and smiled when he saw Sasuke. He stepped into the room.

“You want some?” He held up a ziplock bag with weed. Sasuke shook his head.

“I’ll pass.” Haku hummed, eyeing the bruises on his face. Sasuke was sure that Haku had seen the photo and most likely heard that he got into a fight too but he wasn’t saying anything about it.

“Some snacks then?” Sasuke shook his head, ignoring the cramping pain in his stomach.

“Ohh, yeah.” Suigetsu answered immediately. “Bring some o’ those cookies you gave me yesterday.”

“Ok. Anyone else? Karin? Jugo?” The large boy shook his head.

“No thanks, I’ll just take some from Suigetsu.” Karin answered.

“I ain’t sharing with you.”

“I didn’t say that I wanted to share with you, I said I was gonna take some from you.” Suigetsu gasped at her words.

“You bitch.” Haku let out a small laugh and left the room, coming back in a few minutes. He brought one blue box for Suigetsu and sat down next to Sasuke on the couch with a green bow. He sat cross-legged in between Sasuke and Jugo and opened the box, the sweet smell of peanut butter and chocolate hit Sasuke’s nose and he felt his mouth water. Sasuke forced himself to look away from the food.

“Will you stay the night?” Haku asked Sasuke and the raven-haired boy shrugged.

“I might. Not sure though if I’ll be allowed, it’s a workday tomorrow after all.”

“Since when do you care if your parents will let you or not? And since when do they care where you spend the night?”

“They don’t. I’m staying with my grandpa and uncle.” Haku hummed an ‘oh’, his eyebrows raising in curiosity. “I can remember my grandpa was always strict and so far those two have actually bothered to check where and with whom I spend my time with. So I gotta text him first.”

By the time Sasuke got an answer back from Obito it was already dark and their group were lounging on the couch, relaxing in the evening calmness before Zabuza’s friends came over and the apartment would become loud and lively. So they were enjoying the peaceful silence while they still had the chance. Haku was leaning into Sasuke, running his fingers through the younger boy’s hair while he held his phone in his other hand, scrolling mindlessly through it. While usually Sasuke didn’t enjoy the physical contact, he’d grown fond of Haku and the boy’s love for physical touch. While Suigetsu had turned to lay in a way that the white-haired boy’s head would rest on Sasuke’s lap. Then Sasuke heard a door down the hall open and shut, followed by heavy footsteps coming towards them. Zabuza stopped at the room they were in, glancing inside through the open doorway.

“Kisame ‘lll swing by.” Haku raised his head at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice.

“That’s great. He hasn’t been over in a while.” Zabuza answered with a mumbled grunt that Sasuke couldn’t quite decipher. But Zabuza’s answer wasn’t very interesting to him as he looked down at Suigetsu, searching the boy’s expression for any hint of of emotion. But the boy’s face was blank. His eyes were open, staring lazily at the ceiling but he didn’t look bothered at all. After a few more minutes of lying in silence Suigetsu sat up with a huff.

“Ya’ll wanna go out?” Karin glanced up, chewing on the skin of her bottom lip. She shrugged and looked at Sasuke, Jugo followed her lead and looked at Sasuke for an answer.

“Sure.”

“You’re not gonna stay?” Haku sat up straight when Sasuke got off the couch. “Zabuza will most likely take out a good stash since he hadn’t seen Kisame for so long, you might wanna stay, Suigetsu.” The white haired boy raised his arm above his head, stretching, and gave the other boy one of his charming smiles.

 

“I’d love to bu’ I gotta get my daily steps in before the clock hits midnight.”

“There might not be anything left when you come back.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll be quick.” Suigetsu answered as they left the room.

The sky was pitch black and the night air was crisp as they walked down the street. Surprisingly, even during work nights, the streets of this town were full of life as people kept passing them. Most didn’t catch Sasuke’s attention.

“Do they not know that you’re trying to get sober?” Sasuke questioned Suigetsu about the way he answered Haku. He felt Karin and Jugo look at them, waiting for an answer. Suigetsu let out a breath, the sigh sounding almost like a whine.

“Zabuza’s a plug and Haku’s no better. Throwin’ parties to get a bunch o’ people to come an’ try the drugs, get ‘em addicted an’ get new customers. An’ it’s not like Zabuza’s lettin’ me stay from the kindness of his heart.” Suigetsu ran his hand through his white hair. “Sure, I’m his friends brother but that don’t really mean much. The fact that I’m a customer, though. Now that’s a different story. As long as I keep buyin’ from him he’s willin’ to let me stay. It’s good business for ‘im after all. I ‘on’t take his food, I don’t use up a whole bunch of water or electricity, I though howeve’ buy from ‘im.” Sasuke looked back at the pavement, his eyes glancing forward, when Suigetsu stopped explaining.

“Huh, guess that makes sense.” Karin muttered. “Don’t gotta make plans to meet up, always got someone willing to buy from you no matter the time or day… But why’d he let me stay with him? I don’t really buy anything from him.”

“I’m good at convincing people.” Suigetsu sighed and just as those words left the older boy Sasuke noticed two men walking towards them. He frowned, scanning their faces and not being able to believe it when he recognized one. Suigetsu must’ve noticed them as well as his steps began to slow before stopping completely.

“Sasuke?” The four of them came to a stop. Sasuke swallowed.

“Itachi.”

“What are you doing here?” His brother frowned, while the large man beside him looked each and every one of his friends over.

“I could ask the same about you.” Itachi looked taken aback by his answer.

“You’re Hozuki’s brother!” The man beside him suddenly exclaimed, a large smile appearing on his face. “I thought you looked familiar. How the hell have you been?” The man stepped closer, extending his arms, as if he was gong in for a hug. Sasuke tensed subconsciously, turning to look at Suigetsu’s reaction, only to be surprised with the way Suigetsu smiled and went in for the hug as if he’d seed an old pal and not the man he wants to murder.

“Kisame, my man, can’t complain. An’ I can see you’re doin’ good.” Suigetsu motioned to Kisame’s muscles. The large man let out a loud laugh and Sasuke felt a hand on his inner elbow, pulling him to the side. He frowned, turning to face Itachi and pulled his arm out of his brother’s grasp.

“Seriously, Sasuke, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with uncle Obito? And who are these people with you?”

“Since when do you care where I am or what I do? Shouldn’t you be at home grading tests or something? Do you even know this guy?” Sasuke glanced at Kisame, who was still happily talking with Suigetsu. Itachi let out a small breath, showing his irritation at Sasuke not answering his questions.

“Kisame is an acquaintance of mine. And you shouldn’t be out so late. This might be a good town but that doesn’t mean that all sorts of addicts don’t come out at night.”

“Stop acting like you care, it’s annoying.” Itachi’s eyes widened for a moment.

“But I do care about you.” Sasuke scoffed.

“Oh please.”

“I do.”

“Yeah, I can see that. You especially cared when I was taken away to that damn camp.” Itachi furrowed his eyebrows while still trying to keep his usual aloof expression on his face.

“I was a child, what did you want-”

“I was a child too!” Sasuke cut Itachi off, a bit too loud for his liking and felt the eyes of his friends on him. He could hear how Kisame and Suigetsu also got quiet, turning to look at the commotion. Itachi clenched his jaw.

“I understand, and I am sorry that it happened to you. But I was young and scared of father just as much as you were. I couldn’t do anything.” Sasuke clicked his tongue against his teeth.

“Fine. It’s not like I care anymore and I don’t want to talk about all of this in the middle of the street.” Itachi’s frown deepened but he didn’t object or try to coax his brother into talking anymore.

“Hey, Itachi.” Kisame called and took a few steps towards them. “Your brother also fancies a musician. I suppose it runs in the family.” The large man chuckled.

“No way.” Karin spoke up for the first time since this whole scene started. “You’re with him?” Itachi didn’t answer her, instead looking over at Sasuke, trying to see his reaction to the news. Sasuke looked his brother in the eyes.

“We were even the same age when we started going out. How sweet.” Kisame continued, either not noticing the tension in the air or not caring for it.

“So you started dating him when I was sent away? I guess the perfect son isn’t as perfect as everyone thinks.” Sasuke noticed Itachi’s jaw tensing as he clenched his teeth. Suigetsu and his friends took a few steps to stand closer to them. Sasuke heard Itachi sigh.

“It was right before you left. The pressure from father was beginning to be too much to handle and I… I had made new friends. Friends father wouldn’t have been proud of. And I began experimenting with substances that, if father found out, he would’ve quite literally killed me.” Sasuke raised an eyebrow, not understanding what that had to do with anything. “I couldn’t do anything to help you. You have to realize that, Sasuke. If I got involved in protecting you, father would’ve most likely payed closer attention to me too and that would’ve… not ended well.” Sasuke scoffed.

“Yeah it wouldn’t have ended well. So what? You saw what father did to me when he found out that I tried smoking and you realized that if father found out that his favourite son is a junky he would’ve what? Disowned you? Sent you away?”

“I was a child, Sasuke.”

“You weren’t one for a while now.” The frown on Itachi’s face hadn’t disappeared but it didn’t look like he was coming from irritation or annoyance anymore.

“Don’t call me a junky. And as I said, I’m sorry for what he did to you. I truly am sorry but my life wasn’t easy.”

“Neither was mine. But you don’t see me complaining.” Sasuke saw Itachi swallow, and look away, finally breaking eye contact with his brother as he wondered of what to say.

“What do you want me to do, Sasuke? What do you want me to say?” Sasuke stared at him for a long moment.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing that you do or say will change what happened or how I feel about you. You’re four years too late. I’m not the same kid as I was back then. You can’t just say you’re sorry and expect that all is understood and forgiven.”

“I know.” Sasuke had never heard his brother's voice be so quiet before.

Itachi and Kisame left in the direction of Zabuza’s house. Sasuke felt a large hand settle on his shoulder and turned to see Jugo comforting him. Karin was looking at him with an understanding expression on her face, while Suigetsu’s eyes were still on Kisame’s back. Sasuke took in a deep breathm trying to calm the unfamiliar emotions that had begun to raise in his chest. He turned away from his brother.

“Let’s go?”

“Do you think buses run this late?” Jugo asked as they began walking down the path again, the silence surrounding them was a bit tense.

“Nope.” Suigetsu answered and swung an arm over Sasuke’s shoulders, bringing the boy closer as they walked. Sasuke heard Jugo sigh. “If you don’ wanna stay can’t you call that kady to come pick you up?” Jugo shook his head.

“I’ve caused enough problems for her already. She’s probably sleeping now too. I’ll take the bus in the morning.”

And Jugo did just as he said. He walked the short path to the bus stop together with Sasuke, as the younger boy was going to school and it was on his way. Suigetsu and Karin were still sleeping by the time they left and Sasuke was expecting to spend his day as usual. Only this time, he avoided looking in his brother’s direction not only because he was still deeply hurt by everything but also because he didn’t want to remember his brother's confession last night. He spent most of the math class daydreaming and not truly listening and Itachi didn’t bother trying to get his attention. At school Naruto acted as if Sasuke didn't exist. Not bothering to speak to him or even look his way. And with Kiba gone their classes felt oddly quiet. He hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep that night either and by the time English class came around Sasuke was feeling drowsy. Kakashi was by the board, book in one hand, crayon in the other as he explained something that Sasuke wasn’t paying attention to when there was a knock at their classroom door and it opened just enough for a man to peek his head through. All of the students turned to look in that direction, Sasuke being no exception. Kakashi stopped his lecture and stared at the man.

“Kotetsu?” Kakashi questioned.

“Can we have a word with you?” Kakashi put down the book and chalk and walked out of the classroom, shutting the door behind him. The moment the door closed whispers echoed through the class. Kakashi was gone for a few moment, barely a minute, when he opened the door again.

“Sasuke, could you come out here for a sec?” The boy hesitated but complied. Reluctantly getting out of his seat and coming out into the hallway. There were two men that Sasuke had never seen before, standing next to Kakashi. When his teacher closed the door again they reached into the pockets of their jackets and pulled out two badges. Sasuke stared at them.

“Hello, Sasuke. My name is Kotetsu Hagane and this is my partner Izumo Kamizuki. We are detectives from the Konoha police department and we need you to come with us.” One of them said.

“You can go get your backpack from class and we’re leaving immediately.” Sasuke raised an eyebrow and didn’t move from his place.

“Am I being arrested?”

“No.” Kotetsu answered. “We just need to ask you a few simple questions.” Sasuke stared at them a moment longer but followed the command in the end. He gathered his books, not rushing, making sure to use up every moment to understand what was happening. The cops came.

He was followed out of the classroom by a bunch of bewildered stares and when he came out into the hallway the detectives truly didn’t waste any time in taking him out of school territory. They sat into a simple looking car, Sasuke sitting in the back. He stared at the two police officers in front of him and wondered how much trouble he would be in if he took out his phone and texted his friends of what was happening.

“Under what reasons am I being taken into questioning?” Neither of the two men answered for a solid 5 seconds. “I have the right to know why I’ll be questioned.” Silence filled the car once again.

“You are taken into questioning for being a suspect in a murder case.” Sasuke felt his heart sink into his stomach.

“And does my father know about this?” He kept his voice as calm as it was before, ignoring the pounding in his chest. Silence met him. “I’m underage. You must inform my parents and get their permission to interview me.”

“Not if you’re suspected for murder.” Izumo answered.

“Your father is aware.” Kotestu added.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence until they arrived at the police station. Sasuke was taken out of the car and walked to the interrogation room. It wasn’t big and the walls were a cream color. There was a table and a few chairs. Sasuke took a seat at one of them and once the officer leading him left the room and closed the door he began searching the room for cameras. His stuff had been confiscated so there was no way he could text his friends now. He cursed himself, thinking that he should’ve done it while he was still in the car. But his brain had short circuited and stopped working once he found out about the reason. He noticed a camera in the far left corner of the room. Sasuke stared at it for a moment before bringing his gaze down. He was left alone like that for a few minutes before the door opened again and two men stepped in. Sasuke recognized one as Ino’s father. He didn’t know the other, scarred one.

“Hi, Sasuke.” Ino’s dad greeted him as the men sat down. “How are you?” He questioned with a smile. Sasuke didn’t answer. The men waited for a few moments longer before Inoichi hummed. “You look a bit tired. Rough day at school?” The interviewer was met with silence again. “I’m sorry for having pulled you out of class. You must’ve been surprised but sadly, we couldn’t catch you home even once. You don’t stay at your house often, do you? Your grandfather’s property too… Where are you living right now? Or where do you stay most of the nights?” After a few seconds of silence Inoichi continued. “Well, I really hope that you’ll help us get this mess straight out and you could go back to your parents immediately.” The smile on the blond man’s face didn’t falter, not affected by Sasuke’s uncooperation. “Do you know why you’re here?” Sasuke stayed silent and the bald man huffed.

“Quit playing, kid. You were quite talkative in the car, talking about your rights and demanding explanations. You know why you’re here so why don’t you be good and answer our questions.”

“I want a lawyer.”

“And you’ll get one but first we need you to answer a few simple questions.”

“I’m not talking to you until I get an attorney or my father in here.” That didn’t seem to deter Ino’s father or the man beside him. Inoichi put his hands on the table, intertwining his fingers.

“First of all, why don’t you relax? I can promise you we don’t mean anything bad. We just want to talk to you. So you can relax. Maybe you want some water?” Inoichi questioned and once again he received a long stare for an answer. “No? Alright. If you’ll want some, feel free to tell me. We spoke to your father. He told us that you spent these past few years at a behavior correctional camp. What was that like? Could you tell us a bit about it?” Ibiki waited a minute after every question, giving Sasuke enough time to answer but the men were always met with silence. “We know that you met a boy named Suigetsu Hozuki there.” Sui? Sasuke nearly asked out loud from the surprise of hearing about Suigetsu. “We also know you two were quite fond of each other. Do you still keep in touch?”

If this was a murder case then there’s no reason to grow worried about Suigetsu. The detectives in the car had already made it clear that this interview had nothing to do with drugs. So all that Sasuke had to do was stay quiet and see where this takes him, because these cops had no reason to suspect Suigetsu. And even if they did question him about drugs, Suigetsu should be safe as as for as Sasuke knew, Suigetsu hadn’t taken anything strong. But what if this was about Suigetsu’s murders? But then why would Sasuke be taken in as a suspect? He had no relationship with those band members.

“Or maybe you’d feel more comfortable talking to only one of us? Ibiki could step out for a minute and we could talk… Or I could step out and give you two some privacy.” After another minute of silence Ibiki leaned forward.

“Right, I can see that you’re being stubborn, so let me make this clear for you. You’re aware that murder cases are always brought to trial, correct? So why don’t you make this easier for yourself and us and just tell us the truth. We already have all of the proof, we’re just trying to make this easier for you and we’re giving you the chance to tell us the truth.” Sasuke stared at Ibiki.

“What proof?”

“You know what proof we’re talking about.”

“No, I do not.”

“Don’t be stubborn, Sasuke.” Ibiki warned.

“Show me what proof you’re talking about or I’ll wait for my lawyer.” This time the two officers got quiet.

“Sasuke,” Inoichin’s tone of voice was quieter than Ibiki’s. “We already know everything. So why don’t you help us help you?” Sasuke stayed quiet. “We’ll get an attorney for you, you don’t have to worry. Let’s just talk, huh?”

After another half an hour of questions going unanswered and uncomfortable silence filling the room, the two officers left the room. Then after a couple more minutes the door opened and Sasuke saw his father.

“Get out.” Sasuke didn’t hesitate following the command. He followed his father down the hall, trying to keep up with the man’s quick steps. “Trials scheduled for next week.” He grumbled under his breath, everything about him screaming how irritated he was. “Wait here.”

Sasuke stopped in the hall and watched as his father went to talk to another officer. Sasuke couldn’t hear what they were saying from the distance but he kept his eyes on his father. They didn’t know. Sasuke was sure of it. If they did, he would already be in handcuffs and sitting in a cell. They had suspicions and they needed answers. They needed a confession from him, which he wasn’t going to give them. They had no proof. There were no camera’s at the camp, so unless they somehow found the knife and he shirt they didn’t have any true proof that he did something. And Sasuke was certain that they hadn’t found the weapon. If they had, his fingerprints would’ve already given them enough proof to put him in a cell. But he was free. For now at least. All they had were speculations, loose ends that they were trying to find the answers too. There was no proof which could only mean they only had someone’s words.

Even with no proof, if someone was talking about such a horrendous crime and there was a body, it meant that an investigation had to be launched. They hadn’t come looking for him first. They went to talk to the other kids at the camp, which meant he wasn’t their first suspect. So Kabuto must have not told them that Sasuke was the one to commit the crime. It had to have been some other kid from the camp, who must’ve said something. Maybe Sasuke being Orochimaru’s favourite toy. That would put him on a high place on the suspect list. It also meant that Kabuto most likely wasn’t the one who contacted the police. Maybe some hikers found the body by accident or maybe someone from the staff. Then no one would know that it was Sasuke’s handiwork. For now all it was was speculations. Nothing more, nothing less. If Sasuke played his cards right he might just get free and walk out of this unscatched.

His father came to him and handed Sasuke his backpack. He took it without question and turned to follow after his father once again.

“What did you tell them?” Fugaku asked, his voice a bit quieter.

“Nothing.” There was a long moment of silence.

“Good.” As they were nearing the exit Kotetsu came into view and Fugaku came to a stop, glowering at the man. “If anything of this sort happens again I’m firing you. Get my permission first and then talk to my son. Not the other way around.”

“Yes, sir.” Kotestu’s voice wasn’t as self-confident as it had been the first time Sasuke saw the man. Fugaku huffed and walked away.

Sasuke watched his fathers back as the man opened the glass doors and stepped out into the cold winter air, Sasuke following close behind him. Fugaku was a lot of things. A loving and caring father wasn’t one of them. He didn’t care about his sons like a father would. But what he did care about was his reputation and he would go to hell and back to make sure that his name stays clean. There’s no way this man will allow Sasuke to be put in a cell that easily.

Notes:

Thank you everyone for your love and support

Chapter 19

Summary:

The truth is out

Notes:

I’m sorry for the long wait, this chapter definitely took a while but I made it to my best liking and I’m feeling pretty proud of it

Thank you for your patience and I hope you’ll enjoy it

When Sasuke went back to school the next morning he felt more eyes on him than ever before. It felt like since he came to this school he somehow managed to be the center of attention at least three times, which was the complete opposite of what he wanted in the first place. After getting back home he expected to be met with curiosity but not because of this. He didn’t even have a chance to stay invisible as Naruto’s and Kiba’s bullying started, then the photo incident happened and now the cops just had to make a scene and escort him out of school in the middle of class. There’s no doubt that word about it went around quickly and now Sasuke felt like he couldn’t even go down the hall without hearing someone whisper his name.

When he sat down not even a minute passed when the chair beside him was pulled back with a loud scratch as its legs rubbed against the floor. Sasuke turned his head, expecting to see a classmate who got bold enough to cross his boundaries and annoy Sasuke with questions about the newest incident, only to see Sai. He was a bit taken aback as he hadn’t spoken with the boy for a while.

“So is it true?” Sai asked with a smile, crossing one leg over the other and letting his elbow rest on the desk.

“What is?”

“That what happened to Kiba is your fault.” Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “I mean… a photo of you gets published, you get into a fight with Kiba, the teacher stops you so you go back and finish the job after school and the next day cops come looking for you.”

“You really think I did that to Kiba?”

“No.” Sasuke felt a smile tug at his lips at the straightforward answer. And Sai was completely correct in thinking that. Sasuke was at least twice as smaller than Kiba, he didn’t work out like the other boy did, nor did he have the advantage of friends in the classroom. All he had was the limited amount of knowledge about fights from the ones he got into at the camp and truth be told he was the one who got his ass beat back then, not the other way around. It was just his luck that he got the upper hand with a course book and a surprise attack.

“Then why are you asking?” Sai shrugged.

“It’s all quite the coincidence don’t you think? It makes sense and everyone’s talking about it.”

“You should find a better hobby than listening to gossip.”

“It’s not gossip if it’s true.” Sasuke sighed at those words.

“I wasn’t the one who beat up Kiba.”

“Then what about the cops?”

“That’s classified. Can’t tell you.” Sai’s smile seemed to turn more genuine.

“Aw, and here I thought we were friends. Friends tell each other everything, you know?”

“Why do you even care?”

“I’m not the only one. Everyone’s talking about it. About you. Plus, everything was so dull and boring then you came around and turned this whole place upside down. Truthfully, it’s quite amusing to watch.”

“Then go continue watching from a distance and leave me alone.” Sai hummed.

“If you ever feel like opening up I’m always here to lend an ear.”

Sai got up from the desk and went back to the back of the class. Before turning back to face his desk Sasuke noticed Naruto looking in his direction and sighed. During school hours the blonde boy acted as if they didn’t know each other. He would stare from a distance but never approach him, while when they were at Naruto’s house, the taller boy would try making such awkward conversations that it would’ve been humorous if it weren’t so annoying. After the fight with Kiba and the new rumors going around that he’s the one responsible for putting Kiba in the hospital he’s felt more eyes on him than ever but at the same time everyone seemed to stray clear of him. Or at least, mostly everyone. Sai didn’t seem to believe the rumors. And that got Sasuke thinking. Since he’s got here, no one has truly talked to him. He didn’t hang out with anyone in the school. Then the bullying began and those were the only times anyone really spoke to Sasuke. He was alone most of the time and the only interactions he truly had were those with Kiba and Naruto, that is, until Sai tagged along somewhere along the way.

And Sasuke couldn’t say that he minded it. In fact he was quite pleased with how everything was now. If the whole situation with the police and the murder case didn’t exist Sasuke would think that he’d be pretty pleased with how his life was. He couldn’t say that he was happy to be alive or that he found joy in this life but he wasn’t miserable. He had Suigetsu, Karin and Jugo, no one was making fun of him or annoying him at school anymore. But unfortunately for him, life wasn’t peaceful. He was suspected for a murder that he did commit, his parents had made it clear that they didn’t love or even want him in the house, and now there were a bunch of rumors about him going around the school, together with his naked photo.

Sasuke sighed and took his phone out of his pocket. And on top of everything Suigetsu hadn’t gone into contact since yesterday. Last time he saw the white-haired boy, he was sleeping while Sasuke left for school. He’d texted his friends immediately after being dropped off at his grandfather’s house and only Jugo and Karin had answered him. Both of the adolescents had been worried, Jugo had said that when the police had come to his psychologist’s house they were looking for him, for the same reasons as why they went looking for Karin. They wanted to question him about his life at the camp. Which confirmed Sasuke’s theory that the police were questioning all of the kids who were at the camp. And when asked, Karin told him that Suigetsu had gone out during the day and hadn’t returned yet.

When his grandfather learned about the case and Sasuke being the main suspect in it, he was livid.

“Such nonsense.” He said, while Sasuke and Obito sat next to him at the dinner table. “A suspect? Where on earth did they even get such an idea from? There’s no physical proof! And a camp director on top of that? Now that is complete and utter absurdity. To think that they sent my grandbaby to a camp for all these years. A camp!” Madara shook his head, unable to believe what he had learned. Obito sighed, agreeing with his father that this whole situation was complete nonsense. “Don’t worry.” Madara looked at Sasuke. “We’ll make sure that you get the best lawyer. I will not allow them to do anything to you. If only your father weren’t a police officer… We could’ve paid a detective to let you go. But no, everything just has to be legal and correct. And look where that got you, a trial for murder.”

“Yeah…” Obito sighed. “Well, don’t worry. Gramps won’t allow anything to happen to his favourite grandbaby. And neither will I.” Sasuke had half a mind to tell Obito not to call him that but kept quiet. “The trial’s next week, not much longer left to wait. We’ll do everything we can to make sure that you won’t be found guilty.” Sasuke didn’t answer as he stared at the wooden table. He was sure that even without his grandpa’s intervention he would win. There’s no proof. The cops have no way of pinning the blame on him. And as long as they won’t prove otherwise, Sasuke will be innocent.

And just like that those few days passed quickly and the day of judgment came. Sasuke still hadn’t heard anything from Suigetsu while both Karin and Jugo offered Sasuke their support. When he got to the large building he was followed by his grandfather and uncle. He was aware that his parents were also going to be there but he wasn’t sure where they were as they had come from their own house and Sasuke hadn’t spoken to them that day. It took a while before they were finally allowed into the courtroom and with a final encouraging word from his grandfather Sasuke met with his lawyer and walked into the court together, while his family took their seats behind him. The lawyer, Mr. Jenkins, was a middle-aged man, who Sasuke didn’t personally know. The only times they had spoken were when Sasuke had told the man his story. He had made sure not to miss any details that could’ve come in handy but he had stayed quiet about the actual crime and told the man the alibi that he and his friends had gone over. Sasuke was aware that this man was here to help him and he could’ve been honest about the crime too but he couldn’t force himself to say the truth on that part.

And the murder case began, starting the trial of the state vs. Sasuke Uchiha.

There were journalists standing in the corner, together with their cameras, which made Sasuke feel uneasy, knowing that not only the whole court will hear his story but most likely, the whole town too. Sasuke didn’t recognise the lawyer going against him either but who he did know was the judge sitting at the raised wooden podium. Shikamaru’s father looked strict and scary with the scars coating his face and the stern look on his face. The man in front of him looked like he wasn’t going to tolerate any nonsense and did not look at all familiar to the gentle man he used to see at gatherings when he was a kid. Mr. Jenkins was sitting right next to Sasuke while the prosecutor got up and began introducing the case to the judge and the jury. A poor man who had made a living trying to re educate rebellious teenagers about the morals of life was gruesomely murdered and found months later by a currier who was sent there by the suppliers that Orochimaru bought his food from. And the main suspect - one of the children that he was taking care of.

“Your honor,” Jenkins began when he got the chance to speak. “I would like to start by reminding this court that barely a few years ago Orochimaru had been taken to court for abuse against minors and that this man, over the course of his life, could’ve gained plenty of enemies that wished him harm and it is absurd that my client is the main suspect. Even though Orochimaru was not found guilty during his previous trials, the testimony of countless children to this day continues to prove that the abuse existed and did not stop. However, throughout all of those testimonies there was not a single mention of the defendant giving even a single sign of harming or wishing to harm Orochimaru.”

“If I may, your honor,” The prosecutor continued. “When the body was found the detectives had spent their time tracking down and questioning each child that was at the camp during that time in order to understand the situation. And each child had confirmed that Sasuke Uchiha had a special relationship with Orochimaru. Apparently the boy was well liked by the director and such a relationship would allow Sasuke the chance to get close to Orochimaru and commit the crime.”

“Objection, your honor.” Jenkins cut in. “I would like to remind everyone present that there are no cameras, no photos, no weapons or other items found at the scene that could point to my client being the culprit.”

“And yet, every child, all around the country, has told the same exact story, saying that Sasuke had always been the closest to the director. And this could prove Sasuke’s involvement in the crime, making the suspicion of him being a murderer valid.”

“But none of those children saw the defendant commit the crime. None of them knew anything about the murder. In fact, they didn’t have even the slightest suspicion of Orochimaru’s murder. Much less, Sasuke’s involvement. It was said that on the day everyone left Sasuke had been together with the other kids, calling his parents. Which means he couldn’t have committed the crime.”

“Aha, that’s not quite what happened. Our records show that Sasuke was one of the last kids to call his parents. Right before Suigetsu Hozuki. While the other kids had begun calling their parents and leaving the camp in the morning, Sasuke did it late in the evening. And since the camp had gone into chaos, each kid trying to get back home faster, none of them had been paying attention to the suspect. That would give him a large enough open time window to go unnoticed and commit the crime.”

“But that would contradict the testimony of a child that said that he’d spent nearly the entire day with Sasuke. If someone had seen Sasuke around the camp that erases the suspicions of him going unnoticed by others. Even with the advantage of being liked by Orochimaru, how could Sasuke sneak off to commit the crime if he was being watched by someone? And I’d also like to bring it to the judge’s attention that every single child being released could mean that Orochimaru had suspicions of his impending death, or the children were told to leave after the crime was committed. Which means it had to have been someone from the staff, who had the possibility to get a weapon, get close to Orochimaru and later evacuate the kids and leave themselves without being noticed. I must say that such planning takes time and a lot of effort and it couldn't have been done by a teenager, no matter how rebellious or violent.”

The moment Jenkins got quiet the prosecutor began talking, as if he had been waiting for a moment to cut in during Sasuke’s lawyer’s speech. All the while the judge sat silently at his podium, watching everything play out.

“Being the director’s favourite the defendant had suffered physical, sexual and verbal abuse, which not only would give him an advantage in being able to get close to the director, having Orochimaru lower his guard around the boy, but it also gave him cause to commit the crime.”

“Objection, every single child in that camp suffered the same fate as Sasuke, which would also give them cause to want revenge against the director.” Jenkins spread his arms out in the air as if he were flabbergasted by the very idea. “Every child that was sent there had suffered through beatings, humiliation, verbal abuse and most of them suffered from sexual abuse not only from Orochimaru but from the other staff members too. Any child in that camp would’ve been able to commit the crime if we’re looking from the point of view of their feelings alone. But if we’re looking at the proof - we cannot put the blame on the defendant because there is no physical proof.”

“But there is proof, Sasuke’s fingerprints were found all around the director’s bedroom, in the same place where he was murdered.” Sasuke’s fast heartbeat and tense demeanor seemed to get worse. His mouth went dry at those words but he kept his face carefully neutral as he looked at his lawyer, waiting for the man to say something and defend him.

“The fingerprints can be explained by the fact that Sasuke had been brought to the bedroom countless times. And the defendants fingerprints weren’t the only ones that had been found not only in the room but on Orochimaru’s body as well. There was an extra pair of fingerprints all around the place that the forensic scientists and detectives couldn’t recognise. And let's not forget that Orochimaru was killed by repeated stab wounds.” Jenkins spoke, his voice firm. The man hadn’t stuttered not even a single time since the trial began, making it seem like he wholeheartedly believed what he was saying. “And the only way for the kids to get close to a knife there would be by working in the kitchen. And on the day of Orochimaru’s murder Sasuke wasn’t working in the kitchen.”

“But the boys that he was close to were,” The prosecutor didn’t even miss a beat. “They could’ve given him a knife.”

“All of the children were closely watched by staff and none of them reported any of the kids leaving their posts. They couldn’t have given Sasuke the knife, nor could have Sasuke taken the knife as no one entered or left the kitchen.” Sasuke felt a small wave of relief wash over him when he realized that none of the staff had ratted them out. The adults had most likely either not seen him, which was a lazy mistake on their part or they had come up with their own alibi in case something like this happened.

“But having privileges that the other kids did not have, Sasuke could’ve walked into the kitchen freely and none of the staff would’ve paid attention to it or noticed it.”

“The children were kept like prisoners there. They were monitored by the staff every hour of the day, even during the night. Their steps were tracked and noticed. Neither Sasuke could’ve gone to the kitchen nor his friends could’ve left the kitchen without being noticed. If anything the staff would’ve had a greater chance of committing the crime. Maybe one of them got sick of the way Orochimaru ran the place and decided to take matters into their own hands.” Jenkins had begun to look tired, having to keep explaining the same thing over and over again. And it seemed like he wasn’t the only one who was tired as the judge spoke.

“Do either of you have any physical proof that would put Sasuke or the staff or anyone else in a suspect's position other than speculation?” A second of silence passed between the two lawyers until the prosecutor spoke.

“Your honor, at this current time and date there is no physical proof yet but if I may be allowed to question the defendant we might come closer to uncovering the truth.”

“Permission granted.” Sasuke felt eyes on him as most of the jury turned to look in his direction. His lawyer came closer to his side of the desk and encouraged Sasuke to go to the witness stand. Sasuke pushed his chair back and followed the command, going to the podium next to the judge’s desk. Though his steps weren’t reluctantly slow, he wasn’t exactly rushing to sit down there.

The prosecutor followed his every move and when Sasuke was finally standing in the place he wanted him to be, the prosecutor began speaking.

“Could you tell your name and surname to the court?” Sasuke forced himself to focus on the man in front of him, instead of the countless people in the courtroom, who’s attention was fully on Sasuke.

“Sasuke Uchiha.”

“Sasuke, would you like to swear on a holy book or simply affirm?” He thought about it for a second.

“Affirm.”

“Do you swear that the evidence you are about to give is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”

“Yes.”

“Please sit down. Now, Sasuke, barely a few days ago a photograph of you had circulated around your school, is that-”

“Objection, not related to the case.” Jenkins cut in before the prosecutor could even finish his sentence.

“Let me explain, your honor.” The two attorneys looked at Shikaku.

“Overruled. Continue.”

“Please answer, Sasuke, is what I said true?” The prosecutor looked at him.

“Yes.”

“And in that photograph a large scar can be seen going down your right forearm. Could you tell the court when you got it?” Sasuke clenched his jaw.

“When I first came to the camp.”

“So about four years ago, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Right when you came to the camp… And could you tell the court how you sustained it?”

“I did it myself.”

“You cut yourself, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“And what weapon did you use to cause yourself harm?”

“A kitchen knife.”

“Your honor, this just further proves my theory that the knives there weren’t stored as securely as we were first led to believe. And if Sasuke had the chance to get hold of a knife to harm himself, he just as easily could’ve gotten the chance to take a weapon and commit the crime.”

“Objection, speculations.” Jenkins spoke up, looking not at all pleased with how this trial was going.

“Then, let me ask this. How did you get hold of the knife?” Sasuke glanced away from the prosecutors face and looked down at the wooden desk in front of him, trying to remember that day.

“I was working in the kitchen and had the chance to take the knife.” He didn’t bother adding any more details or say what happened before or after that as he tried to give the other attorney as little as possible.

“Since Sasuke had the chance to take a knife and hurt himself, it should be safe to assume that the staff wasn’t paying that much attention to the kids as we initially thought. Which means, Sasuke could’ve just as easily taken the knife to murder Orochimaru.”

“Your honor, the defendant was not working in the kitchen on the day of the murder and had no clear access to knives.” Jenkins once again reminded the court.

“If I may continue, your honor,” The prosecutor spoke up. “Sasuke, could you tell us what you were doing on the day everyone was allowed to go home?” The raven-haired boy stayed quiet for a few long seconds, staring in front of him until he finally spoke.

“I was working, just like every other day, and then a girl came in and told us to leave.”

“Was the girl a staff member?” Sasuke shook his head.

“No.”

“Do you know her name?” He shook his head again.

“I wasn’t friends with everyone there, I didn’t even know half the kids’ names.”

 

“Over the course of four years you didn’t manage to learn everyone’s names?”

“I knew the names of the ones who had been there since I got there. But a bunch of kids got taken to the camp and were allowed out during the time I spent there. I didn’t bother getting to know everyone who was taken to the camp.” The prosecutor hummed, as if in thought.

“I see. Let’s get back to the day you left. What time would you say it was when you were told you can call your family and leave?”

“Maybe around noon. I’m not sure, there wasn’t a clock that I could look at so I don’t know what time it was.”

“And you said before that you have seen kids leaving the camp, is that correct?” Sasuke nodded.

“Yes.”

“Could you describe how that would play out?” Sasuke was quiet for a few long seconds.

“Most of the time they would just… not show up, disappear and then we would realize that they’ve left. No one really made a scene or said goodbye when they would leave. Especially, since I wasn’t close to anyone who left during those years. I just remember that sometimes I would see the staff tell them that they’re allowed to leave and they would go.”

“So you’re saying that the staff would tell the children when they were allowed to go home, did I understand correctly?”

“Yes.”

“Then did you not find it strange that instead of a staff member telling you, another child did?” Sasuke shrugged. “Did you not question it?”

“I mean… It was strange but everyone was leaving. I didn’t want to fall behind.”

“I see. Then, another question for you, did you see Orochimaru on the day you left?” Sasuke wasn’t sure what would be the best answer for him. If anyone had seen him going to Orochimaru that day, there’s a chance that they could’ve said so to the detectives.

“Yes.”

“When was that?”

“Before I began my chores. It was in the morning.”

“And what were you doing there?”

“Orochimaru would call me nearly every day into his office. Most of the time it was without any particular reason, just to see me.” Sasuke explained.

“And that particular day? Why did he call you?”

“He wanted to check on me. See how I was doing.”

“Is that the only thing that he did?” The prosecutor didn’t let up and after a moment of hesitation Sasuke answered.

“He wanted me to suck him off.” In the corner of his eye he could see a few members of the jury turn to look at him with pity on their faces. Sasuke believed that was the right answer. If his saliva was discovered on Orochimaru, then it would be best not to lie as being caught lying about such a thing could cause more suspicion to rise surrounding his involvement in the murder. He didn’t dare look anywhere else other than the prosecutor as he couldn’t bring himself to see the faces of his family.

“And what would you say your relationship with the staff was like?” The prosecutor continued. “Orochimaru?”

“My relationship? We weren’t close. They didn’t like me. Kabuto especially. He hated me. They would beat me and orochimaru would order them to do it.”

“But, as you just said, that’s not the only thing Orochimaru did to you, is it?”

“No.”

“What else did he do to you?” Sasuke could see his attorney begin to shuffle uncomfortably, clearly not liking where this conversation was going.

“He’d take away my food. He would raped me.”

“Did he do that to the other kids or was it only you?” Sasuke noticed the subtle trap, as the prosecutor tried to single him out from the other children.

“He did whatever he wanted. He would not allow us to eat for days on end, he would humiliate anyone he wanted. There were kids before me that he also raped. No one was safe from the torment there.”

“And was there any specific abuse that you suffered that the other kids didn’t?”

“I don’t understand what you want to hear. I already told you that he raped me. Do you want me to go into detail? Tell you how he’d force me down on my knees and I’d have to jack or suck him off? How he’d call me every night into his room to fuck me until I passed out? I mean, I could go on but I doubt you want to hear how I had to clean off the cum stuck in my hair and wash off the blood, that was mixed with it, off my skin. Cause that’s what he did. That’s how I was different from the rest. I was his favourite.” Sasuke noticed the corners of the attorney’s lips rise, nearly forming a small, satisfied smile. The man took a step back.

“So your anger must have been a lot stronger than the other children’s. You had more of a reason to kill him, correct?” Sasuke clenched his jaw and shook his head but the lawyer in front of him looked like he was on the verge of discovering something great. Just as the man was about to say something to the judge Sasuke beat him to it.

“He loved me.” He saw how his attorney, the prosecutor and the jury all turned to look at him. Sasuke was sure that his family and Shikamaru’s father were staring at him with the same shocked and confused faces as the lawyers. “I was his favourite.” Sasuke continued. “He took care of me more than my own parents did. He was interested in my hobbies, he knew what type of books I liked to read, he allowed me to rest from the chores if I was feeling too horrible to move. He took care of me. He loved me. I didn’t know what happened on the day when he decided to let everyone go. I couldn’t even see him to say goodbye… and I was… devastated to learn that he was murdered and now you’re saying that you think that I was the one to do it?”

Silence filled the room as everyone stared at him in bewilderment.

“You think he loved you?” The prosecutor began, his tone of voice hesitant and a complete contrast to how self-confident it sounded just a few moments ago.

“I know he did.” Sasuke answered. “He was the only one who was nice to me. He took care of me.” The two lawyers shared a look.

“You said he loved you more than your own parents did?” Jenkins came closer to the witness stand and asked.

“He did.” Sasuke confirmed. “I never thought that Orochimaru was bad. Sure he’d tell the staff to beat me but he never raised his hand against me. My father did the exact same things, well except rape me but he was also never interested in me. Orochimaru was.” Sasuke wasn’t sure why everyone was so willing to change the conversation, he supposed it was because everyone was still shocked from his confession and he didn’t mind as long as it meant that they would stop trying to make him confess to the murder.

“Then why are you saying that he raped you?” Jenkins asked and that seemed to have gotten the other attorney out of that shocked trans-like state that he was in.

“Objection, not related.”

“I have reason.” The two lawyers looked up at the judge. Shikaku considered it.

“Overruled.” Sasuke looked down before continuing talking.

“I don’t want to say it. But I can’t say that he… made love to me because then everyone else gets upset. No one allows me to tell the truth. For some reason, they get angry when I say that Orochimaru loved me and all of the things that he did were in my best intentions. He never hurt me, he cared for me. He did all of those things to make me better.”

“Then why did you hurt yourself?” Jenkins continued questioning him.

“That was before I realized that Orochimaru was doing those things because he truly cared for me. I was… I was confused and didn’t know what I was doing. I regret it now.”

“Your honor,” Jenkins turned to the judge. “This confession proves that Sasuke couldn’t have killed Orochimaru. Not only is there no evidence leading to my client but he truly believes that everything that happened there was done with his best interest in mind. So he doesn’t hold any anger against the camp director.” Jenkins looked back down at Sasuke, seeming to have gained a new wind and a boost of energy. “Sasuke, are you saying that you have never thought about hurting Orochimaru?” Sasuke shook his head.

“Never.”

“Do you have any idea who could’ve hurt him?”

“Kabuto.” Sasuke could see the prosecutor frown after he answered Jenkins’ last question.

“Orochimaru’s assistant? Why would you say that?” Sasuke thought about it.

“He used to be Orochimaru’s favourite. But then I came to the camp. Kabuto was jealous of the attention I was getting from Orochimaru. He always tried to find ways to get me into trouble. I believe that if anybody were to try and harm Orochimaru it would be Kabuto. He had access to the knives, Orochimaru trusted him, so he could’ve gotten into Orochimaru’s room pretty easily.”

“And did you see Kabuto committing the crime?” The prosecutor asked.

“No.”

“So it’s just speculation.”

“The same as the suspicions put on Sasuke, they are not backed up by any evidence.” Sasuke noticed the prosecutor glowering at Jenkins but then the other man lowered his gaze, seeming to accept defeat.

“Looks like there’s a new suspect. Thank you, Sasuke, you can take your seat.”

It didn’t take a lot of convincing for Shikaku to make a decision and soon Sasuke was declared innocent. When the judge left the courtroom, Sasuke got up to follow after his lawyer, ignoring the journalists rushing his way, in hopes to get an interview from Sasuke, they left the courtroom as well and Sasuke met up with his family. When the door closed behind them and they stepped out into the hall Sasuke saw his father approach them down the narrow corridor. Before he could even think to greet or say anything to his father he was slapped across the face, the force of the hit forcing his head to the side.

“What on earth is wrong with you!” Fugaku brought his hand back, getting ready to hit Sasuke again but before he could slap his son again he was roughly pulled back by the collar of his jacket. Fugaku looked furious as he turned to look who dared to stop him but stopped himself before he could shout any insults when he saw that Obito was holding him back.

“You might wanna take a step back.” Obito warned and Sasuke felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Mr. Jenkins looking down at him with concern clear on his face.

“Are you alright?” The lawyer asked and Sasuke nodded. The brown-haired man didn’t look convinced but let him go when he saw Sasuke’s grandfather approach them.

Madara threw a glance in Fugaku’s direction, his eyes narrowed in distaste and Obito let his father go, confident that the man wasn’t going to do anything in Madara’s presence. When his grandfather looked at him his gaze softened at the sight of his grandchild.

“There might be a new investigation conducted for child neglect.” Madara placed a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. “And I believe it would be best if you live with us a bit longer.” Madara glanced at Fugaku. “I do hope you won’t object.” Fugaku lowered his eyes after a second of eye contact with Madara.

“No.”

“Perfect.” Madara looked back at his grandchild. “You’ll have to bear us a bit longer.” Sasuke felt a small smile tug at his lips.

By the time they got back to the car, with Obito in the driver’s seat and Madara beside him, Sasuke took his phone out of his pocket and saw that he still hadn’t gotten any answer from Suigetsu.

Chapter 20

Summary:

Once upon a December

Notes:

Actual chapter added: 2025-11-26

By the time the three of them got home it was already getting dark and snow was falling in large chunks from the sky. When Sasuke got out of the car the snow underneath his shoes crunched with each step he took. He hadn’t even realized how much he’d missed the beauty of winter when he no longer had to freeze outside. Sasuke glanced up at the sky and could see that stars were already shining in the sky. He felt a bit weak and Sasuke brushed it off on not eating the whole day. The stress of having to be in court had also added to him feeling drained and Sasuke hoped that he’d feel better in the morning. Though his inability to sleep for more than 5 hours a night without waking up from nightmares made him think that he won’t feel as refreshed in the morning as he was hoping that he would. Nothing in this forsaken life seemed to bring him even an ounce of joy or relief.

He was out of the camp, so why didn’t he feel happy?

Obito unlocked the front door and Sasuke waited for his grandfather to enter before stepping into the house himself. He refused to have dinner when Obito offered to heat it up for him and Sasuke walked up the stairs to his new bedroom, practically having to drag himself up each step. He didn’t bother to turn on the light in his bedroom, nor to change into something more comfortable. Instead he fell onto his bed, still dressed in his outside clothes and sighed. His limbs, eyes and head felt heavy. Every action required far more strength and concentration than it should have. He felt like more and more of his strength poured out of his body with every passing day. And with everything going on around him, the bullying, the threat to go to jail, it was all weighing down on him. With great effort Sasuke pulled the covers over himself and took out his phone, squinting at the bright light of the screen.

There were a few new messages from Karin that he ignored for the time being and instead went to google, typed in his own name and waited for it to load. Just as he had expected, the journalists had already made a couple reports about today's trial, what Sasuke said and what happened to him. No doubt there were going to be more of these made by tomorrow morning. With a sigh Sasuke went to answer Karin before turning off his phone and turning to lay on his side, hoping that sleep would come soon to him and he wouldn’t have to lay awake for hours, staring into the dark, and that the sleep would be quick and dreamless, no nightmare plagueging his mind. Even when he knew that the chance of that happening was slim, he still dared to hope.

 

When he went to school the next day, the first thing he noticed were the stares and whispers. They had been with him from the very start. Following his every step after he joined this school, he knew how to ignore them but it didn’t mean that he didn’t notice them. His childishly stupid wishes of the trial going unnoticed were shattered as he overheard someone talking about it when he passed a group of girls in the hall. Sasuke wasn’t sure if the trial was shown on the news. Logically it couldn’t have been. It wasn’t that huge of a scandal to be broadcasted for everyone to see. It must’ve been that someone found it, Sasuke wasn’t sure if it was done accidentally or not but either way, one person told another and that’s how it went around the school. Just like every other rumor went around this school. Only difference, these weren’t rumors or cheap gossip that was going around, it was Sasuke’s trial that everybody now knew about.

His wishes of keeping his past secret were shattered the moment the cops began chasing him. And being so honest in court didn’t help trying to keep it a secret. Though yesterday, and even right now, he was certain that saying those things helped him look more human and as a hurt child, not the heartless killer that he was. But even if he wasn’t found guilty, he still had to face everyone in school. So Sasuke put on a stone cold expression, ignored the faint feeling following his every step, and tried to push down the shame that coiled in his stomach. He could ignore it the same way he ignored all of the stares. He managed to ignore the stares and whispers when everyone in the camp found out that he had become Orochimaru’s new favourite toy, he managed to ignore the pitying looks and mean jabs when the photo was published around school so what was the difference now?

Everyone in school found out that instead of being sent to a private and prestigious school he was sent to a camp of horrors. Now everyone knows that he tried to kill himself, that his parents didn’t love him enough to try and actually parent him and everyone now knows that he was raped by the camp director countless times. It was humiliating. A deep and seethed feeling of shame and anger mixed low in his stomach, making him wish to just disappear into the ground and never have to see anyone ever again. He wanted to just go away and not have to see anyone’s faces after the trial. But he didn’t disappear into thin air as he so desperately wished. Instead, he had to continue walking and open the door to his classroom. From the reluctantly shocked faces of his classmates Sasuke understood that they had also, if not seen then, heard about the trial. Sasuke didn’t turn to look their way while he walked over to his desk. He’ll just ignore those stares the same way he’s been ignoring his hunger.

No matter how weak he gets, either physically or mentally, he’ll put himself back together, one rotting piece after another, he’ll glue them back, put everything into place, ignore the cracks and get back on his feet. He will push through. None of these people cared enough about him to do something when he disappeared, so why would he care about their opinion on him? He clearly didn’t matter to any of them. Not Shikamaru, Naruto, Sakura, Kiba or anyone else for that matter. His own family didn’t care about him and still doesn’t. So why should he bother worrying about what the kids at school think or how humiliated his father feels? They don’t care about him, so why should he care about them? The only ones who have been by his side and truly care about him aren’t considered to be great people by everyone else’s standards and yet they happened to be the only ones to stand by his side.

The bell rang but no one rushed to get to their seats. The day began in its usual, monotone and gray regime. Sasuke could almost pretend that yesterday was just a dream and none of it happened. Itachi stepped into the classroom a couple minutes after the bell rang. This tardiness wasn’t usual for the man but Sasuke didn’t pay it much mind, ignoring his brother, similarly to how he was ignored and forgotten for four years.

Itachi pushed his hair, that wasn’t put in a ponytail, out of his face, with one hand while in the other he held a stack of papers.

“Good morning class, put away your coursebook and everything else on the table. Keep only your pens. Today you will be writing a quiz on the derivative.” Hushed whispers echoed through the class. “Pass these out.” Itachi handed the tests to the girl in front of him.

She reluctantly took the papers and looked up at the man.

“But, sir… We haven’t learnt the derivative yet.”

“You haven’t?” Itachi asked, bewilderment clear on his face. When he looked up at the rest of the class and saw the other students shaking their heads he frowned, deep in thought.

“No.” Someone, Sasuke couldn’t be bothered to turn and see who, said from the back of the class. “We’re still on the sine and cosine.” Itachi hummed.

“Very well then.” He took the papers from the girl. “Open your books to page 187.”

The class went on with Sasuke barely paying attention to it. After yesterday's trial Orochimaru’s murder has been plaguing his mind far more than usual. Why was it brought to light now? After so much time passed after the incident? Did the cops find more evidence to pin it to him? But that’s exactly the thing, they didn’t have any evidence, that’s why they couldn’t pin the blame on him, that’s why they couldn’t prove him guilty and send him to prison. Sasuke also has a hunch that Shukaku being the judge helped him out quite a bit. But still, why was the case reopened after these months? Why did the cops start questioning and suspecting the kids? Did someone tell them something? Gave them a hint that ultimately led them in Sasuke’s direction.
“Sasuke.” The sound of his name being spoken got him out of his trance and Sasuke looked up. Itachi was staring straight at him. “Come to the board, please. It’s your turn to answer these question.

Sasuke held his brother’s gaze for a long while, long enough to make it seem that he was going to ignore his teacher’s order. But he complied. Sasuke let out a sigh and got up, immediately regretting it with the way his vision darkened at the corners and static overtook the rest. Sasuke took hold of the table when he felt himself lose balance as he heard ringing in his ears and his head felt like it was stabbed through and infiltrated by a bunch of buzzing insects. The ringing stopped but dark spots still swam through his vision and he felt like his ears were stuffed with cotton, hearing everything from far away.

Sasuke blinked and suddenly Itachi was in front of him, asking if he was feeling alright. Before Sasuke could even think of an answer he felt his knees give out from underneath him and everything went dark.

When he came to a bright light blinded his vision. Sasuke blinked, groaning. His head was pounding and there was a strange cold feeling going up his arm. When Sasuke could see, he squinted his eyes and looked down at his arm. He was in a hospital and there was an IV attached to his hand. That explained the cold but… how did he end up here? Sasuke turned his head to the left. He was by the window, and had a clear view of a tiny park.

There were two other beds, which were empty, in this room. He laid in bed quietly, staring at the white ceiling, listening to the noises in the hall, until a nurse opened the door. She seemed pleasantly surprised to see him awake. Her voice was gentle as she spoke.

“You’re awake.” She smiled, walked over to him and checked his IV. “How are you feeling?”

Sasuke opened his mouth to speak but his throat was so dry that he coughed.

“Fine.”

“Alright then, why don’t you wait for a moment. I’ll go get your doctor.”

It didn’t take long for the door to open once again and a blonde woman stepped inside the room. Each and every one of her steps was taken with incredibly clear confidence and self assurance. If the white robe wasn’t enough to let Sasuke know that she’s a doctor, her posture and the way she carried herself would tell everything he needed to know.

“Hello, Sasuke. My name is Tsunade.” The woman walked over to the bed.. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” Sasuke replied the same way and the doctor nodded.

“We ran some tests. You’re malnourished, which explains why you collapsed. Since you’re underage, your parents already consented that you will stay here until you get better.”

“My parents were here?” The woman nodded.

“I’m sure your phone is here somewhere. They left not long ago, you could give them a call but for now we need you to rest. Lunch will be brought in an hour, after that a nurse will come get you to go talk with a therapist.”

Sasuke was frowning by the time the doctor left but he didn’t say anything to object.

The inside of the office looked warm and cozy. There were two light green arm chairs, both were covered with hay-yellow blankets that looked like they were hand-crocheted. There was a red rug on the floor and a small wooden table that had papers and markers on it was in between the chairs. None of the colours matched, it looked like a child had been in charge of coming up with the decor of the room. It was bursting with colors, the shelves that were standing beside every single wall of the room were overflowing with items. It was messy. Not dirty but messy enough to make Sasuke feel uncomfortable, on edge. There was too much going on around him. Yet somehow, these mismatched colours, all of the items and furniture, it somehow felt comforting.

It felt like the warm comfort, the relaxed atmosphere of the home he never got the chance to enjoy. This room was not dark or bland like his childhood home was; there were toys, pencils and drawings scattered all around, it didn’t have the cold and old atmosphere that the camp had. This room was so sickeningly nostalgic, hitting Sasuke with memories of warm childhood days, that he never had, with such force that it felt like a punch to the face. This room was so forcibly relaxing, that even through his discomfort Sasuke couldn’t help but find the mess endearing.

“Hi, Sasuke.” The woman behind the desk smiled at him. “Why don’t you sit down, I’ll finish this up in a moment and come to you.” She took the papers that she was reading in hand, evened them out and put them in a drawer in her desk.

As Sasuke sat down he wondered whether or not those papers had anything written about him in them. Cautiously, he watched as the woman pushed her chair away from the table, took a pen and a notebook in hand, got up and approached the armchair in front of him. She sat down with a content sigh, smiling even brighter at him.

“So, hello again, Sasuke. My name is Elena Reyes. I am a therapist working in this hospital.” She crossed her legs, putting one over the other. “I can see that you are a bit tense. Why don’t you lean back, get comfortable.” He didn’t follow her request but her smile didn’t waver from her face. “We can talk about what brought you here today but first I would like to ask, is this your first time speaking with a therapist?”

Instead of answering Sasuke turned his gaze towards the shelves on the right wall. Amongst countless colourful books there were little statues of gnomes. He knew he was being difficult by not answering. Staying quiet was something that he was good at, it was something that never brought him harm, because by staying quiet he didn’t give other people the knowledge or the leverage to hurt him. A long moment of silence passed. Elena was patiently giving him the chance to speak but he wasn’t going to give her that satisfaction.

“Are you not willing to talk to me? Her voice was kept carefully neutral. Not a single hint of disappointment shone through. “If I understand correctly your doctor wanted you to come here. Is that right, Sasuke? She was worried about you, so she sent you here. Is that why you don’t wish to talk to me? Because it was not your choice to come here?”

The muscles in his jaw tensed. No one was worried, not his family and especially not his doctor. It was just her job to send a theoretically mentally ill patient to a therapist.

“I like your hair. Do you usually keep it in such a way that it hides your face?”

Sasuke let out a breath that sounded like a sigh. He didn’t want to be here. The question was, if he stayed silent long enough, was she going to continue this session? Was she going to schedule more sessions with him? She was showing no signs of wanting to let him go just yet.

“Can we finish this? I don’t need a therapist, I’m fine.”

The woman hummed.

“If you’re fine then what are you doing in a hospital? Last I checked we don’t take in healthy patients.”

This time Sasuke really did sigh.

“Sometimes I forget to eat and that took a toll on my body. My brother overreacted and called an ambulance. That’s why I’m here but you already knew that. You saw my files.”

“Let’s discuss that.” Sasuke wanted to groan but kept quiet. “If it took a toll on your body then you must’ve been skipping meals more than ‘sometimes’.”

Sasuke stayed silent.

“If you’re not willing to face the problem at hand just yet, why don’t we talk about something else. I would love to get to know you better. How’s your relationship with your family?”

“Like any other I suppose.”

“What does ‘any other’ mean?” Sasuke shrugged, already regretting having spoken.

“Fine.” The woman opened her notebook and wrote something down. Sasuke felt his throat constrict, like someone was strangling him from the inside out. Why did he say that? He shouldn’t have done it, no one is forcing him to talk. What did she write down?

“What about your classmates? Teachers?”

“Fine.”

He watched her write something down once again.

“Do you have friends at school?”

Sasuke shrugged. Elena stared at him for a long while, waiting, in case he decided to say anything. He didn’t.

“I heard you were in a behavior therapy camp. Could you tell me what that was like?”

He shrugged once again.

“Sasuke.” Her voice was deceptively calm but the smile had disappeared from her face. “You’re avoiding my questions. Can I ask why?”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Why is that?”

He stayed silent.

“Could you tell me a bit about your childhood?”

“Why?”

“I would like to get to know you, to get a clearer picture of what kind of person you are.”

He was quiet for a long while again. It seemed like Elena’s patience was god given as even now she gave him the time to gather his thoughts and say the things she wished to hear. He was quiet long enough for it to seem like he wasn’t going to answer again but he finally spoke.

“I used to be an altar boy.”

She scribbled something down.

“Do you think you had a close connection to Jesus and God growing up?”

“I remember being very religious. My family was like that, so I was as well.” The words spilled out of his mouth a lot easier than he expected them to.

“You were? Did something change?”

“I saw how cruel people can be and lost faith in God.”

“What exactly was the breaking point?” Sasuke blinked and stared her in the eyes.

“Did you not see me on the news? I think I made everything pretty clear there.”

“Unfortunately I don’t watch the news.”

She was lying, Sasuke was certain of it. She wanted to hear him say it to her face, see if he would lie. He swallowed. Talking about it was the last thing he wanted but if she was so dead set on getting him to open up, then he was going to do that. He was going to push her boundaries, see just how far he can take it before she gets uncomfortable. Sasuke held her gaze.

“The camp director raped me until I lot consciousness.”

She didn’t flinch. Didn’t make that false pity, that everyone seemed to have, appear on her face. She didn’t even blink.

“So you were sexually assaulted at the camp. Do you think this trauma is what is affecting your every day function now or was there anything else that happened?”

Sasuke blinked. He was taken aback by the bluntness and lack of compassion. He swallowed. The gentle smile that had been on her face was completely gone. There was no pretence of kindness. She wasn’t pretending to be nice to him and for some odd reason, that made him relax.

“Uhm…” He looked down at the table and the pictures that children drew scattered on it. “We were starved and beaten there. Humiliated too.” He looked up at her.

“By we do you mean the other children?” He nodded. “Was there not enough food for everyone?” Sasuke shrugged.

“There was food but not a lot. We were responsible for putting it in stock out of the cars that brought it. And we cooked it. I guess the camp director was just cheap. Most of the potatoes that we got were rotten and we still had to cook and eat them.” He looked up to see her reaction. It was carefully neutral. “They didn’t force you to eat. If you didn’t want to, you could starve. And the portions were very small. We had to measure everything before cooking, everyone got the exact same portion. It usually consisted of a yoghurt and a fruit in the morning, watered down soup for lunch and something for dinner. The portions for dinner were as big as my fist.”

He clenched his hand and the memory of the tiny portion on his plate flashed before his eyes.

“While at the camp you got used to surviving on the calories needed for 3 year old kids.” Her voice was neutral, as if she was just stating facts. “Was that when your problems with food began?” He shrugged.

“Most likely. I ate fine before coming to the camp.”

Elena raised her eyes above his head.

“Looks like our time is done for today. I would love to continue our conversation. I will schedule a time for you tomorrow. How does that sound?”

Sasuke nodded.

“Alright.”

“How are you feeling now that our session is done?”

Sasuke shrugged, then cast his eyes to the floor and really thought about it.

“Fine.”

The woman smiled and led him to the door, where in the corridor, a nurse was already waiting for Sasuke.

The next day came quickly. In the morning Obito came to visit him and left a duffel bag with clean clothes in it but the man didn’t stay for long as he had to get to work. Lunch rolled around and Sasuke was texting Karin while finishing eating his food, a tasteless soup and a cold-looking meat loaf, that Sasuke didn’t even try, when the door to his room opened. Sai stepped in. Sasuke’s eyes widened when he saw the pale boy. His boots were covered in melting snow that left tracks as he neared Sasuke’s bed.

“Hey.” The boy smiled and took off his winter coat.

“Hi.” Sasuke answered, still in shock.

“Can I put my coat here?” Sai motioned to the end of his bed and Sasuke nodded.

“I caught the first bus here right after school ended.” Sai put down his school bag on the floor next to Sasuke’s bed and opened it. “I brought you a book.” The boy pulled out a hard cover, neon green book and handed it to Sasuke. He took it, and held the cold material in his hands.

“How’s the food here?” Sai glanced at the half full tray in Sasuke’s lap.

“As bland as it looks.”

Sai chuckled. To say that Sasuke was surprised to see the other boy would be an understatement. But he found that the feeling wasn’t bad in the slightest. He felt pleasant. Sasuke put the tray on the table, the book on the windowsill and spent the rest of the time listening to Sai talk about the day he had in school. He vaguely mentioned the others also being worried about Sasuke, after he collapsed yesterday, which Sasuke found difficult to believe. Sai mentioned what they were learning in math and english, which neither of them were interested in, and then began telling him about what they were doing in art class.

The other boy spent the full hour talking about impressionism and what piece he was planning to create. Then Sasuke took the book and flipped through a few pages, scanning the text written there. The two of them spent the remaining time reading the more interesting paragraphs when the door opened and a nurse informed Sasuke that it was time for his session with the therapist. Sai got up together with Sasuke, took his coat and left the hospital, while Sasuke walked down the now familiar hallway to the therapist’s office.

Sasuke sat in the same ugly, green armchair, staring at the gnome statues on the shelves. Elena was in front of him, patiently waiting until he gathered all of his thoughts and was ready to say what was on his mind. Sasuke brushed his hair out of his face and turned to look at the therapist sitting in front of him.

“I think I might be a sociopath.”

“Why do you think that?” She didn’t write anything down, didn’t even change her neutral expression or calm tone of voice. Sasuke shrugged.

“A friend came to see me today. He brought a book, it’s about psychopaths, narcissists and sociopaths. It’s all about how to recognise those people and get better if you were their victim.” The woman nodded, acknowledging his words.

“And you found some similarities between you and sociopaths?”

“Yeah. Like, I don’t care about how others feel. And I’ve read that sociopaths can be made, they’re not born like psychopaths.”

“Why do you think you lack empathy?” Sasuke shrugged.

“I don’t care for other people, like my classmates. I don’t feel bad if they get hurt.”

“Your classmates? What about your friends?”

The memory of how his gut would twist every time he would see fresh wounds on Karin’s arms flashed through Sasuke’s mind.

“I care for them.”

“You see, Sasuke.” Elena sighed and intertwined her fingers on top of her knees. “You are correct in saying that sociopaths, unlike psychopaths, can be ‘made’ but in psychology we don’t really use such a word to define people. Sociopathy is used to describe antisocial personality disorder, and that’s what we use to define certain characteristics that people have. And even though you share some traits that can nurture people in becoming sociopaths, as you called them, like severe childhood trauma and neglect, it’s not all nurture. Genetics plays a big role in this as well. It’s completely normal not to care much for the people that you are not close to. Lack of empathy can also be genetically passed down. Do you think you could have inherited it from your family?”

Sasuke cast his eyes to the shelves once again and thought about it.

“Nearly everyone in my family is very aloof.”

“That explains it.” Elena smiled at him. “You have friends, Sasuke, you care about your friends, you don’t show any signs of violent tendencies. You don’t show any signs of impulsivity or lack of a fear response. Frankly I don’t think that you have aspd. You are very guarded, you don’t trust strangers, you keep quiet and conceal your emotions. That is a trauma response used to protect yourself. And you are a very traumatized individual. You were very inhumanely hurt when you were a child, you experienced prolonged trauma and now your body is doing its best to protect you from experiencing that trauma again. I’d say what you have is a perfectly normal response to certain situations.”

Sasuke pursed his lips and nodded, still keeping his gaze on the gnome statues.

“You still don’t look convinced.” Elena continued to speak. “Let’s try it this way. Would you go out of your way to hurt other people?”

“If they don’t deserve it, then no.”

“Can you elaborate?” She raised an eyebrow and crossed her legs. Realizing what he just said, Sasuke turned his attention back to her.

“I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant to say. I meant, I don’t feel worry for the people that I don’t know or the people who have hurt me. And if they hurt me and something bad happens to them, like I don’t know, they fall down then, it’s not that I would feel happy, but I would feel like they deserved it.”

“So you think that people who hurt you also deserve to hurt?”

“If they did something to purposely cause me harm then yes, I believe in karmic retribution. I personally wouldn’t do anything, I wouldn’t go out of my way to make them hurt, because I know how painful it is to be hurt by someone, but if something happened to them, I wouldn’t feel sad.”

Elena clicked her pen on and wrote something down in her notebook. The noose around Sasuke’s neck returned and in the back of his mind he wondered if he said too much. Was she going to suspect something now? He shouldn’t have let his guard down like that.

“It’s great that you have friends, people need them to thrive and survive. And you seem to have quite the interest in psychology.”

“A friend gave a lot of suggestions on psychology books. I read a few.”

“Have you heard of Maslow?” Sasuke looked away, trying to find the name somewhere in his memory but he came back empty.

“No.”

“He made a pyramid of the things that people need to live. Do you know what the very first thing is on that pyramid?”

“Food?”

“Food, water, shelter.” The woman nodded. “These are the physiological needs that a person needs to survive, now the things that he needs to thrive and live a healthy life are safety, love and the need to belong somewhere, esteem needs, like respect and recognition and self actualization. People need hobbies and goals in life to feel purpose, they need respect to feel confident, friendship to connect with other people and they need security and stability. A person needs all of these things to live and thrive. We can survive without them but we won’t live a happy life.”

Sasuke nodded, quietly taking in the new information.

“That’s why I asked about your childhood, about your relationship with your family. I wanted to see if you had all the things you needed growing up. I needed to know those things to understand why you would take away the thing that you need most to survive.”

He was quiet for a long while, then he licked his lips and spoke.

“My father was an abusive asshole.”

 

When the time came for their next session Elena spent a couple of minutes quietly thinking, and Sasuke patiently gave her the time she needed, just like she’d been doing to him.

“I’m going to be straightforward with you, Sasuke. Do you think you’re fat or are unpleased with the way your body looks?”

“No. I know that I’m skinny and underweight. But I don’t really care for how I look.” He’s been through too much to care about such trivial matters but that doesn’t stop him from looking at himself in the mirror and hearing Orochimaru’s words ringing in his ears that he must take care of his beauty.

It was the fourth day that Sasuke was in that hospital when the door opened and he saw Choji, Sai and Naruto. Sai walked into the room without much thought, while the other two stayed a couple of steps behind, as if unsure whether or not they were welcome.

“Hey, Sasuke.” The pale boy smiled as he took off his coat and pulled out a chair to sit next to Sasuke’s bed. “I told you, I wasn’t the only one worried.”

Choji gave a hesitant smile and came closer as well.

“I brought some cupcakes.” The large boy motioned to the lunch box in his hands. “Thought you’d like something tastier than hospital food.”

“And I brought homework.” Naruto scratched the back of his neck and chuckled while he came to stand beside Choji. “It might not be as fun as cupcakes but Kakashi was adamant on me getting them for you. Oh! And he also said that he sends you all the best wishes.”

Sasuke stared at the boys and swallowed.

“Thanks, guys.”

Choji put the box on Sasuke’s bed side table and went to fetch another chair while Naruto sat down on the edge of Sasuke’s bed.

“How are you feeling?” Naruto asked, crossing his legs. “Everyone at school misses you.”

Sasuke doubted that.

 

“I tried LSD once.” Sasuke said once he sat down on the green armchair. “And a bunch of other crap I don’t even know the name of.”

“How did that make you feel?”

Sasuke shrugged. He’d expected to get a reaction, for her to get surprised, worried or strictly begin to tell him how bad that is but she was as neutral as ever.

“I could see every strand of hair on my friend’s head.” Sasuke recalled the time. “Every wrinkle on the palm of my hand. It was a weird feeling.” He shuddered, feeling a shiver run down his spine. “I could hear colours and taste sounds, everything got distorted, the furniture melted, turned into globs of color all around me, then it felt like I was the one melting, disappearing into the abis around me. It.. it felt like a warning like foreshadowing that I was going to disappear. I saw myself from the side, just… evaporating into nothingness. Then I saw myself when I was young, from Orochimaru’s, the camp director’s, eyes. I felt… I don’t know what I felt but it wasn’t love. I couldn’t understand what that monster was feeling or thinking as he - I - looked at myself.”

“How did looking at yourself from his perspective make you feel?”

“When I woke up I felt better. As if that was the proof I needed to know that he didn’t love me. I never understood what the man felt for me, or why he did what he did. He showered me in praise when I was good and it made me feel loved, he punished me when I was naughty and that set the lines and boundaries that were not supposed to be crossed. There were so many rules, everything was so simple and yet it was not. When I- When I learned of what happened to him, I felt bad. I began having nightmares, I felt guilty.”

“Why did you feel guilty?” Elena cocked her head to the side, raising one eyebrow.

“Because I was working in the kitchen, even though most of the days I would spend in his room. I was put on kitchen duty, I wasn't with him and… he died.”

“Let’s name things how they truly are. He was murdered. A life was taken and that is why you felt sorry for him.”

Sasuke felt his throat constrict and he nodded.

The next time he got visitors it was Sai followed by Naruto Ino and Sakura. He’d never had expected that he’d even get visitors apart from his actual friends and to get so many of them was simply mind blowing for him. The cupcakes that Choji brought yesterday were still on his nightstand and Sasuke offered them to his guests. Naruto got up on his bed again while the rest got comfortable on chairs next to the head of Sasuke’s bed. The girls seemed a bit awkward, glancing at one another more than talking, but when Naruto began telling Sasuke that Haku asked about him and how Shino had complained today because his ants were uncomfortable from the cold, the air in the room seemed to become lighter.

“Speaking of which.” Ino spoke up. “Aren’t you freezing in here?”

She looked down at his navy blue shirt and Sasuke noted how Naruto was wearing a hoodie while the girls had pretty sweaters on. Sakura’s was as pink as her hair, while Ino’s was white, prettily matching her purple skirt. Sasuke shrugged.

“I’m used to the cold. It’s the nights that get uncomfortable, when they turn on the heat and it gets as cold as hell here.”

“Oh, you prefer the cold? Am I the only one who actually likes the summer?” Ino groaned, pushing a strand of blonde hair out of her face.

“Nah, don’t worry. I’m a summer guy too.” Naruto chuckled while Sakura shook her head and spoke.

“I don’t know how you guys do it, I hate being sweaty.”

“Oh, c’mon, at least in summer there’s no school, I can wear pretty crop tops. You get it, right, Sai? And let’s not forget about the beach and ice cream!” Ino argued back.

“What about the bugs? The scorching heat? Wet and sticky from the melted ice-” Sakura was cut off when the door to Sasuke’s room opened.

Everyone turned to see Karin and Jugo standing in the doorway. The two newcomers stared into the room, clearly taken by surprise to see all of these people. Karin let out a breath and walked in, Jugo followed closely behind.

“Hey, Sas.” She leaned down to hug the raven-haired boy and sat down next to him on the bed, while Jugo stayed standing behind the other two girls.

“Hi.” Sasuke felt like his chest got lighter when he finally saw his friends. The corners of his lips lifted the tiniest bit. “Where’s Suigetsu?” He wondered aloud. Karin and Jugo glanced at one another. The girl shrugged.

“Haven’t seen him for a while. And knowing him he’s either in the can or somewhere dead underneath a bush.”

Jugo nodded, solemnly agreeing to her words.

“We haven’t seen or heard from him.”

The other group got quiet, silently glancing either at one another or the floor. Only Sai seemed to keep his smile.

“That’s a very pessimistic view.”

Karin looked at the pale boy and shrugged.

“Yeah, it’s my skill not to stay too optimistic.” She laughed and a couple others followed suit.

 

Sasuke remembered the smell of candles and sage in the church. The sound of bells ringing and the piano playing, the calm that would wash over his whole being whenever he would get on his knees and start praying. In those times he felt like there was no one other than him and God. No strict father, no worries clouding his mind - nothing. Just him and God. While he was lying on the hospital bed Sasuke would catch himself wondering what he could have become if he weren’t sent to that camp. If he hadn’t tried that god forsaken cigarette, if his father wasn’t such a psychopath. He would have probably gone to study religion. He’d been so interested in it, he always loved praying, it brought him relief. Until his beliefs in God were stripped away from him with the inhumane and brutal things that were done to him in the camp. He would have gone to become a priest. Now look at him, a murderer. He no longer believes in god but a part of him wonders that if he truly exists, Sasuke lost his chance to go to heaven a long time ago. When he dies he will burn in hell together with Orochimaru.

Maybe he’ll never be happy in this life. Maybe that’s not his purpose, maybe he was born to suffer, to be the lamb sent to slaughter. The innocent altar boy that was sent to hell on earth, to sacrifice his own innocence and mind in order to save the rest of the kids. Maybe he was never supposed to be happy, maybe this is his path in life and no matter what he had done differently, if he hadn’t smoked that cigarette, maybe he still would have somehow found himself in that camp, maybe his mission in life is to avenge the ones who were wronged in this life, the ones whose lives were so cruelly taken away by Orochimaru. Maybe that’s what he is. An avenger. Maybe he’ll be happy in another life or maybe that’s just who he is, maybe in every single life he won’t find any happiness. He’s cursed, forced to suffer the path of loneliness and cruelty in order to help the ones who were wronged in life.

“What makes you happy?” The sound of Elena’s voice got Sasuke out of his thoughts.

He jerked his head to the side, getting his hair out of his eyes and looked up, remembering.

A couple hours later they were sitting in a McDonald’s. Both Karin and Suigetsu were eating burgers while Sasuke had a cup of coffee in front of him. The three of them were quiet as they ate. Sasuke was feeling drowsy and the night was peaceful.

A smile graced the boy’s face, softening his features and making him look less intimidating. He looked genuinely happy to see them. The slight nervousness in Jugo’s eyes had disappeared, the boy looked relaxed while listening to Karin and Suigetsu bicker and Sasuke realized that he himself felt calm too. He felt safer and better with his friends than with his family.

But now, a part of Sasuke wonders whether Jugo looked so much healthier than them because he had spent some time away from Sasuke. Sasuke wasn’t there to corrupt him and that’s why the larger boy was doing so much better than the rest of them were. Then those pleasant memories were washed away with blood. Sasuke recalled Orochimaru’s body, how his hands and shirt were soaked in blood, how it clung to him like a second skin. The sticky liquid dried, coating his body, like armor, becoming one with him. And even then Sasuke knew that no matter how much he would wash his hands he will never be able to wash it off, because that blood will follow him until the day he dies, because it’s a sign of what he truly is - a killer.

“I had nightmares of him today,”

Sasuke was small again. Sitting on the ground next to Orochimaru’s desk. His head was resting against Orochimaru’s outer thigh, the man’s hand was in his hair, petting gently. But then the movement stopped and Sasuke felt as the man pulled at the strands. His scalp stung but he didn’t make a sound. Sasuke felt a trickle of something warm go down from his hairline to the tip of his nose. It cooled quickly and was freezing cold by the time a drop fell to the ground. More of the liquid kept running, getting into his eyes and coating his vision red. It was blood, Sasuke knew that the same way he also knew that it wasn’t his own blood but Orochimaru’s.

“I’m waiting for you.” The voice above him spoke.

“He was calling me, trying to take me with him. He was blaming me and… for the longest time I could not live with myself. I watched my friends cut themselves, destroy their lives with drugs and I wanted to do the same, because I wanted to do something to take my mind away from the guilt. I wouldn’t eat and that would make me focus on the pain in my stomach, of the emptiness but I also didn’t eat because I wanted to punish myself, the same way I was punished back at the camp and that would make all of the emotions come back tenfold.”

Sasuke sighed and raised his hands to rub at his face, half expecting to feel blood on his finger tips.

“I don’t understand myself or what I’m feeling and I hate myself for it. While I was at the camp I hated it there. I hated the people, the way I was treated, the punishments, the nights and days spent at Orochimaru’s room. I hated it all, I wanted to get out, to see my old friends, to live a normal life again and when I did get out I was just… I don’t even know.” His voice was a bit muffled from behind his palms. “I couldn’t live normally. I couldn’t forget the routine and the punishments that were in the camp, I didn’t trust anyone anymore, I didn’t trust them enough to share what happened to me. A part of me even blamed them for not looking for me, and a part of me was jealous that they got to live normal lives while I was stuck rotting in that camp and even after I got out I still felt like I was rotting from the inside.” Sasuke lowered his hands and looked at Elena.

“My friends were near, they helped me a lot but I could see that they were suffering too. We helped each other by being near, that’s how we managed to survive in the camp for so long with each other's support but our support meant nothing when we couldn’t actually help each other heal and live. One friend kept cutting, the other used drugs, the third… seemed weirdly acclimatized. I wanted what’s best for them and yet I myself kept going hungry every day because I felt that I deserved it.”

Sasuke looked down at the floor, his eyes scanned the red rug.

“Then the bullying at school started. I didn’t care much for it, it was nothing compared to what I went through at the camp. But when everyone saw my scar… I felt so vulnerable. I haven’t felt like that since I was at the camp and it made me lash out. I got into a fight. I didn’t want to be known as the guy who tried to kill himself, as the guy who cuts himself. I didn’t want to be known as the one who was raped in the camp his parents sent him too. And yet, everyone saw the scar and then they saw the news, where I was in court, saying that I was in love with my rapist.”

“Are you in love?”

The question caught him so off guard that Sasuke looked up and stared at Elena.

“I don’t know. I’m doing all of this so that I could forget him and yet I’m reminded of him every damn day.”

Elena sighed and leaned her back against the green armchair.

“Do you know something called Stockholm syndrome?” Sasyje nodded his head. “You formed a bond with your abuser. You spent many years with him, he praised you and that made you feel loved. You were in a terrifying situation for a child and he was the adult that brought you both pain and comfort. And when a person is starved for comfort, he will grasp at any straws that he can get. He will dig his claws into it and won’t let go. That’s why you feel such a pull towards Orochimaru. And the murder… that is such an inhumane act and it just shows that you have empathy. Even if it’s your abuser, you feel sad because Orochimaru was still a person and his life was taken away from him in such an animalistic way.”

Sasuke swallowed.

“I still feel trapped. Like Orochimaru still has his chains around me, keeping me near. Dragging me into the abyss, just like that time when I went into psychosis from the drugs.” Sasuke sighed and looked down at the rug again. “I can’t sleep at night because I’m scared that something bad is going to happen when I fall asleep, just like when I was kidnapped in the middle of the night from my own bed, and taken to the camp. I keep dreaming of Orochimaru. I feel like he is waiting for me, like he’s just waiting for the chance to drag me back to himself.” He got quiet for a long while before speaking again. “When the murder was brought to life and I was accused I felt like that was supposed to be his revenge against me.”

Was it Kabuto who sent the police chasing after him? Other than his friends, Kabuto was the only person to know.

“Kabuto used to be the favorite, he might get jealous and he’s very vengeful.“

Next time Sasuke had visitors it was Naruto. Only this time, the boy came alone. He brought a few quizzes for Sasuke. The raven-haired boy hadn’t even done the previous ones. Naruto didn’t bother pulling out a chair and sat down on Sasuke’s bed.

“Me and the gang went to the cinema yesterday. It was half a movie, half a concert about some singer from another country. I never heard of him before that day but the girls were adamant on going. I tagged along just ‘cause it’s fun to get out of the house. The rest of the guys followed suit. We went to the ice rink after that and Sakura fell on her butt so hard.”

Naruto laughed while Sasuke felt his throat constrict. Kids his age are out in the city, going to the cinema, to the ice rink, having fun while he’s stuck in these same four walls. The same, white, never changing walls. The only reprieve he gets is his window and his phone. And his friends come to visit him, they text him, call him but it’s not enough. His chest feels like it has a huge weight on top of it, it feels both empty and heavy at the same time. He’s lucky that he has friends who talk to him, but he’s selfish. So selfish that he dares to wish for more.

Sasuke wants to go out, to see the world, to go shopping or see a movie or stupidly argue with his parents like the others do. He wants to see his friends every day, to go out with them, laugh, have fun and forget all of his worries that are slowly eating him alive, leaving rotting darkness behind. He likes that his friends remember him and come to visit him but he always feels like dying when they share what they did that day. It’s so strange, he wants to get to know them better, to hear them tell those stories but he feels so horrible when he hears them. But he can’t do any of that. At least not yet. Sasuke sighed and swallowed down the stinging pain in his throat.

“Are you ok?” Naruto must’ve noticed his sour mood. Sasuke nodded.

“Yeah. I’m going home tomorrow. Can’t wait.”

Naruto’s smile widened.

“I can’t wait either.”

Sasuke turned to face the window and stared at the falling snowflakes, while Naruto stared at him.

“You look like you’re somewhere far away. Looking at that window like it has all the answers.”

Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows and turned to look at Naruto, suddenly realizing just how close they were to one another - too close to pull away. Their eyes met, Sasuke’s shining with surprise, while Naruto’s lingered on the raven-haired boy’s lips. The air in the room felt thicker, the world around them disappeared. Neither of them moved, until Naruto leaned closer before Sasuke could say anything.

Their lips met. Sasuke didn’t stop it.

It was gentle, slow, raw and full of emotion that Naruto had never dared to speak.

“You’re getting discharged today.” Elena spoke. Sasuke’s mind was scattered since yesterday. “This is our last session. I’ve been wanting to ask you this question for a while now. Do you know why people cut?” That got Sasuke’s attention. He looked at the woman, focusing on her words. He shook his head. “People cut because they either feel so empty inside that they so desperately wish to feel something that they cause physical harm to themselves or they’re hurting so much on the inside that they feel the need to feel the pain on the outside. They need to express it. Self harm and suicide are two very different things, Sasuke. You, Sasuke, don’t harm yourself with the intent to feel pain, no you harm yourself with the intent to punish yourself by not eating and you wish to die. That is the simple truth.”

“But I don’t want to die.” He muttered, his eyes searched Elena’s neutral expression.

“Do you really? Because from my point of view it sure looks like it. If you wanted to live you would’ve done so but instead you starve, slowly killing your body, you do drugs, killing your mind and you completely do not care for the friends that you could have made in school, the ones that keep visiting you here. You do not wish to make new bonds because you know that there’s no use for new bonds if you’re going to die. You wish to die, Sasuke, you’re destroying yourself and you’re dragging your friends with you. It’s similar to hunger. Your body sends signals to your brain that you're hungry but your mind says, no you’re not. Your brain says that you want to die but your body says no, you must live. It’s just instinct, a natural instinct that everyone has, the need to live and survive. It also just means that you’re not in a bad enough place to not kill yourself yet. You’re doing quite good, if I do say so myself. You have a bunch of friends, family that come to visit you. You’re just too selfish to see and appreciate all of that.”

Sasuke stared at her in silent shock.

“How much longer are you going to wallow in your own self pity?”

“Excuse me?” He blinked, unable to believe the words that he was hearing.

“From what I’ve seen, you have a family that you live with and they love you, you have friends that care about you and yet you’re pushing them all away because you have put yourself into such a deep hole, seeing yourself as a victim of every situation that you are in, that your mind has even resorted to refusing to let you eat in order to punish you. You weren’t allowed food in the camp as punishment and your subconscious still clings to that rule like it’s a lifeline. You may not think it but your mind knows that the way you are acting is not right. Your brain knows that you could be doing a lot more for yourself and since you are not doing it, your mind is punishing your body by not allowing you to eat. Not only that but you also subconsciously withhold food from yourself because it’s a sign that something's wrong with you, that you’re sick, that you’re hurting.”

“So you’re saying that I’m doing this for attention?”

Elena rolled her shoulders, looking far too comfortable for the conversation that they were having. Sasuke had expected a sweet good bye, her wishing him to get better, not whatever this was.

“I’m saying that you never got the proper closure or comfort after such trauma and you don’t know how to deal with it. You were forced into that camp so suddenly and then thrust back into the real world without any preparation or real comfort, realization or acceptance, for what happened to you. You never had a proper chance to deal with everything, to accept and understand the trauma that you’ve been through. And because you still hold yourself in that victim’s position, where you are weak, hurt and taken advantage of, your mind is subconsciously forcing your body in those same stressful conditions.” Elena held eye contact with him as she spoke, making sure that every word got to the boy clearly.

“You are underweight, you don’t get much sleep, because you don’t want to heal. You want to stay a victim in hopes that someone might come and comfort you. You crave and grieve the comfort and acceptance that you were not properly given, that’s why this is happening to you Sasuke. You’re out of the camp, Sasuke, you need to understand this and you must understand that no one other than yourself is holding you hostage in your head, not allowing you to get better and heal. You have friends that come to talk to you, spend time with you, you’ve told me about happy memories and the fun time you spend with your friend. Your life has changed, Sasuke, all you have to do is change your mindset and yourself. You can heal from this trauma, yes it will be difficult, yes it will take time but you will be able to do it. You’ve told me so yourself, one of your friends managed to heal, so can you. You can get better, you can begin trusting people again. The only question is, do you want that? Do you even want to heal?”

“So it’s my fault that I’m like this?”

“Not just you. Because you are not healing, you are also holding your friends back. You don’t want to leave that victim’s position. You want to make the same situation that was in the camp because everything in the camp was understandable. You learned how to survive there, there were rules and punishments, everything was so simple. Then you were thrust into the real world with no true help or preparation, you didn’t know what to do so you got back to when you were in the camp. You yourself don’t want to leave the camp and so, you keep yourself in these situations and at the same time you’re keeping your friends there as well. You were the one who wanted to meet, you were the one who wanted to go looking for Karin and Juugo, you are the one who’s not allowing your friends to get better, Sasuke.”

“Are you saying that it’s my fault that my friends harm themselves?”

“I’m simply stating facts of how everything truly is.”

She saw him out when the session was over, watching his slim back go down the hall before she closed the door, and took her phone out of the drawer in her desk. One missed call. She pressed on the contact and brought her phone to her ear.

“Hi love.” She smiled and her voice grew as sweet as honey. “Yes, I just finished a session. The progress is slow, but that is to be expected, he’s traumatised but not stupid. It’s going to take time. What? Hey, don’t yell at me, I said- Kabuto! You know that I don’t like it when you raise your voice at me. Don’t do it again or I will hang up the phone.” She listened then let out a breath. “I forgive you. Now listen, everything takes time. Yes, I think I’m slowly getting to him but you can’t expect it to work after a couple of sessions. This stuff takes time. Ok, I’ll see you at home. I love you, bye.”

Notes:

I used months of psychology theory that I learned and shoved it into one chapter and revised my lessons while writing this.

So what do you guys think of Elena?

I can't believe we're at the very end already.

Chapter 21

Summary:

Haunting picture of elegance

Sasuke killed a man.

He stepped out of the bus and the freshly fallen snow crunched underneath his shoes. He looked up, seeing the unimaginably light snowflakes slowly falling to the ground. There was no wind to carry them, which allowed them to peacefully dance their journey to the ground, where their virgin white snow will be trampled and ruined by the passing people, uncaring for the beauty and innocents that they will ruin in their own selfish path.

Those four simple words have been haunting him since the day he committed the crime. Appearing in nightmares, leaving him with sleepless nights or making themselves known by pesky thoughts as shadows, with the same voice as Orochimaru, would whisper into his ear that he was not worthy of eating yet. He was a murderer. He took away a human life. Even if that human had caused him harm, Sasuke was still the one to actually take someone’s life away.

The last session with his therapist kept replaying in his head, not allowing him to sleep or concentrate on his surroundings. He could only focus on the fact that he was guilty. Who was he to decide if someone got to live or not? He was no god, just a mere mortal who made the unforgivable sin of deciding someone’s fate, taking away someone’s life.

He can’t ever hope to live a peaceful life after committing such a crime. That sort of trauma, the sexual abuse, the killing, the humiliation and degradation, is not something that he can ever hope to heal from. And the therapist had only proven that point.

Sasuke walked towards the church in his old town. The path was familiar, etched deep into his heart, just like the prayers he used to mutter while his knees ached from kneeling on the hard, stone ground. He remembered how stiff his joints used to be after getting up, how his joints would pop and his feet would tingle from the long and grueling hours he spent kneeling on the church’s floor, praying in gratitude, in sadness, in forgiveness. Sasuke remember how light his chest would feel after, how euphorically empty he would be inside after praying away all of his emotions, whether those were quick and uplifting happy ones, like the ringing of a small bell, or deep grievances that made his chest and head feel as heavy as stone with shame for feeling such unflattering things. He could always breathe lighter after he ended his prayers.

Why did he ever stop?

Sasuke looked down at the path before him. The stone path was covered in a soft blanket of snow, which had been trampled by people. The once pure white was now a dirty brown, soiled by all of the people who stepped on it, uncaring for the beauty of its innocents, that they destroyed with every step. Sasuke wondered if at least one person, who stepped into the church felt at least a tiny pang of guilt for the innocents they destroyed. Or did it not cross their mind that such a thoughtless action like taking a single step could ruin anything?

Oh, that’s right.

“It hurts, please!” Sasuke felt the tears that had been building up in his eyes finally fall and the tears felt hot against his cheek. Then he gasped… “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…”

He was so small back then…

Sasuke stepped onto the footprints that had already been left, trying not to soil the innocent beauty. Until he stopped at the end of the track, where a clean white field led into the tree line. Now he had no choice but to step on the snow. He had to destroy it, he had to destroy something innocent and pure for his own selfish gain. Maybe he was no better than the other, uncaring people. After all, making him aware and guilty would not erase the damage that he was about to do. Sasuke took a step, then another, keeping his gaze strictly on the trees in front of him, hearing every single crunch of the snow he stepped on, like broken hopes and dreams, it was trampled under his own foot. He walked past the trees.

Sasuke remembered just how huge they looked when he was small. When he and his friends would run to hide here after the Sunday ceremony would end. Memories flashed through his mind while he walked. He remembered the beautiful greenery, Naruto’s blonde hair and orange clothes, the way he would climb the trees, Kiba following suit. He remembered the day his fate was sealed forever.

Sasuke looked up at his friends and their expecting faces, then at the cigarette. He sighed and reluctantly took the thing in between his fingers. Sasuke brought it to his lips and sucked in a breath…

But it wasn’t all bad, he’s met a lot of great people after that incident.

“Sasuke?” He heard a groggy voice from behind the door, as if the boy just woke up from sleep.

“I brought you something to eat. How do you get your food normally?”

She nearly ran to them, almost knocking them over with the force of her hug but Sasuke didn’t complain.

“Christ, missed me that fucking much?” Suigetsu teased her and she pulled away, giving his bicep a punch.

“You wish…” Sasuke stared at the two and a small smile tugged at his lips.

Life is such a strange thing. He’s happy, yet he wants to die.

When Sasuke decided that he was far enough into the woods he sighed and looked up at the sky again. The snow had intensified, now, much larger chunks were falling from the sky. One snowflake landed on his cheek, melting immediately.

He’s not sure where Suigetsu is but one thing is for certain - he wants to be with the white-haired boy. He misses Suigetsu, which makes tears, filled with deeply rooted guilt, gather in his eyes, making his vision blurry. He misses Suigetsu, Karin and Jugo so so much. But what if his therapist was correct? Maybe he’s the one who’s causing his friends more harm than good. Maybe they will be better off without him. Maybe that’s why Suigetsu disappeared - he realized that Sasuke was no good and decided to cut all ties with him. Sasuke let his back hit a tree and he slid down the bark to sit down on the ground.

The cold wetness seeped through the thin denim of his jeans but it was nothing compared to how cold he used to be at the camp.

“There ‘re two types of people in the world. Those who will beat and kill you if it’ll mean that they get what they want and those who’ll never leave a friend in trouble, those who stand for justice. You should learn to know the difference and choose with who you want to be with and which you want to be…” Sauske lowered his eyes.

Sasuke raised his hands to rub at his face, pressing his palms into his eyes, feeling hot tears soak his cold skin. His throat stung as he swallowed. He always assumed that he was too smart to think that his friends, the only people who care about him, abandoned him. He was hungry, he hadn’t eaten or slept after getting discharged yesterday from the hospital. He stayed awake the whole night, thinking over his psychologist’ words. His head hurt but ever more than that, his heart ached. Maybe it wasn’t that he was too smart to think like that, maybe he was too prideful, too caught up with himself and his own suffering, to see that his friends were also suffering with the way he had his claws dug deep into their skin. Maybe it was time to let them go and let them heal.

Maybe it was time for him to find new friends? Naruto is nice and with Naruto he is promised a flicker of hope that he might get better, that his life might actually change, but the question is, does he even want that? Does he want to get better? Does he want to change? With Naruto he is promised a healthy and peaceful life, a hope of healing. But what if he hurts Naruto in the process of his own healing? What if he poisons the blonde boy with the molding rot that’s coating him from the inside. What if he ruins Naruto’s life? So far, the blonde boy has seen only sunshines and rainbows, Sasuke shouldn’t bring his storm and ruin it all.

The tears kept pooling behind his palms and Sasuke tried to even out his breathing but a sob escaped him.

With Suigetsu, he will be stuck remembering his life at the camp and hurting everyone around him. Suigetsu has his own demons and problems and yet, the white-haired boy feels so much like home. Suigetsu is the closest thing Sasuke had to love and he clung to that with fangs and claws, drawing blood until both of them were hurting.

His friends were the ones that offered him love and respect when he was at his lowest, when he was being treated worse than an animal. And he clung to them like his life depended on it, and during that time, it truly did. Maybe that’s the reason why Jugo is the only one who got better, because he was not near Sasuke. They cling to each other like a life line because they helped each other survive in those inhumane conditions and they never learned how to let go. Maybe the therapist is right, maybe as long as they cling to one another, they are stuck in that cycle of abuse. Their minds can’t let go of the trauma because they can’t let go of one another. Maybe it truly is all Sasuke’s fault.

He was the one who wanted everyone back together, because being apart didn’t feel safe. Even when he was back home, his body hadn’t accumulated to peace and he was still stressed out about everything, that’s why he tries to spend every waking minute with his friends, because he associates them with safety and protection. Maybe it’s all Sasuke’s fault, that he’s not eating, that Suigetsu is doing drugs and that Karin is cutting herself. Maybe it’s his fault that no one can get better. Maybe that’s why Suigetsu went no contact with him. Maybe everyone would be better off with him gone.

He’s killed Orochimaru and he’s keeping his friends stuck in the past because he himself can’t get over his trauma. He shouldn’t get close to Naruto, because then he might drag Naruto into his swamp. Naruto is so bright and happy, he shouldn’t ruin the other boy with his darkness. He should just disappear, just like in that vision.

Sasuke let his palms fall in between his knees and blinked a couple of times, trying to get his vision to stop being so blurry. He looked around. Chunks of snow were leisurely falling to the ground, catching on tree branches and coating everything in a thick, white blanket. He's getting colder by the minute. Vaguely, Sasuke wondered how much time would it take for a body to grow completely cold, for the snow to stop melting on his skin and cover him in the same blanket. It looked so peaceful, the cold trapping everything in a never changing, never aging picture. Like a painting.

No wonder Sai loves to paint so much. This is beautiful. Sasuke let out a breath, watching it turn to smoke and fly high, disappearing into the cold. He wished to become one with the scene in front of him and new, guilt filled, tears gathered in his eyes as he imagined what a mess he will make here. Or maybe quite the contrary, it will not be a mess that he makes here, but rather an even prettier painting. This peaceful beauty of the kingdom of snow might shine even brighter with rivers of crimson red flowing through it. The contrast of pure white and deathly red will make the colours bloom, like roses, only these would be splattered, frozen forever in a lethally beautiful painting. Not staining the pure white but becoming one with it, forever trapped in a haunting picture of elegance.

Orochimaru reached out and stroked Sasuke’s cheek with the back of his hand. “Such a lovely face ruined by a frown. Don’t do that, take care of your beauty, it’s a useful thing to have.”

Sasuke wasn’t going to just take care of his beauty, he was going to immortalize it.

Sasuke had gone deep into the forest. No one will be able to find him here for a long while. He put his hand into a pocket in his jacket and pulled out the box cutter he swiped from Obito’s office. Sasuke pushed the blade out and stared at it. Karin has been cutting herself so much that her arms are now more scars than actual skin. Sasuke had plunged a blade into his skin with the intent to kill before, so why were his hands trembling so much? He told himself that it’s from the cold, even when he knew that it was not the case. Vaguely, in the back of his mind, he wondered whether or not, when the girl drags the blade against her skin, watching the blood pool and fall from the cut, if she ever thinks about ending it all. Does she want to do it and simply doesn’t have the courage? Or is it not death that she craves? Maybe, unlike Sasuke, she doesn’t wish for the sweet release of death, she doesn’t wish to close her eyes and disappear forever and he’s happy for that.

Karin should live. She deserves it after everything that she’s gone through.

Sasuke brought the corner of the blade to the soft flesh of his inner wrist and pressed it. He didn’t use enough force to break the skin, he didn’t cut just yet. Instead, he focused on the feeling of cold metal pressing against his skin. He should do his throat as well, for better results. Sasuke sighed. He’s done this before, so why was it taking him so much time now? Why was he procrastinating, thinking of other things? Why couldn’t he just get the job over with a few quick movements? After all, it’s his fault that everyone suffers.

“Kiba’s in the hospital. Apparently, yesterday evening he went out for a walk and got jumper by two guys.”
“At least it’ll be easy to file a police report, with his mom being a cop and all.” Shikamaru muttered.
“He can’t give a report. His jaw was broken.”
“Can’t he write one?” Choji asked.
“He can’t. They broke both of his arms too.”
Maybe by killing Orochimaru he sealed his fate. Maybe he’s no better than that snake. Maybe this is how he would’ve ended up no matter what actions he chose. Maybe this is his destiny. Sasuke stopped believing in god a long time ago but now that he’s holding the blade, he’s beginning to think, what if someone will be waiting for him on the other side? He’s definitely not going to heaven after what he’s done. Sasuke will probably go to hell and burn there together with Orochimaru. Maybe the man poisoned his body and mind so much that he is forever cursed to stay with Orochimaru for the rest of his life and even after death. Maybe he will never be able to escape the man. After death, after reincarnating, in every single life, in every universe he will be forced to suffer underneath that man. Or maybe he was just born that way, born rotten, not good, no matter what he would’ve done. Maybe this is where he would end up in every single lifetime, or could it be that in another life he’s happy with Suigetsu, Karin and Jugo, maybe even with Naruto.

So many questions, so many maybes, so many what ifs’. But none of that matters now. It’s too late to wonder what could have been, because this is the reality that he is now. Sasuke just hopes that they won’t grieve too much, that they will get over his death quickly and that they will live long, good and happy lives. But deep down, even now, his selfishness overrules his other emotions and he hopes that they will always grieve for him, that they will never forget him. That his body and the horrific picture he was about to paint on the snow will be found. Sasuke wants to be remembered. But not as the guy who starved himself, not as the guy who tried to kill himself, not as the guy who was raped by the camp director but as Sasuke. He wants his friends to remember him for his straight forwardness, his stupid youthful mind that was full of justice. He doesn’t want to be remembered as a killer because he already knows that he is that. He simply wants someone to care enough to remember him.

His family did not care enough while he was alive, maybe this will finally be the breaking point that will force his parents to see all of the wrongs that they did in life, all of the ways that they have hurt their child. Sasuke knows that he is being selfish but is that truly too much to ask? Tears blurred his vision, his hands trembled. How long will it take for someone to notice that he’s gone? Would days have passed before someone found his body? For how long would his family cry? Hours, days, a year or two before everyone will move on? The world will keep moving; his classmates will graduate high school, get jobs, start families. His friends will be sad for a little while before they too will get over this incident. They will laugh again and Sasuke will be just a name, a memory from long ago. He hopes he’ll stay as a pleasant memory, because that’s all that will be left of him.

His clothes and books will either be given away to someone or thrown out. The rooms he used to sleep in will be remodeled and used for something else. His name will no longer be mentioned by anyone. His pictures will hang on the walls of his childhood home for a little while, before they will be put in a drawer and forgotten. He will disappear, just like in that vision. There will be nothing left of him but memories. Past experiences and journeys. He won’t be making any new friends, any new memories. He won’t see any new places. Taste any new foods, see new shows or movies. Sasuke let the back of his head rest against the tree behind him. He never tried those cupcakes Choji brought him.

But… Sasuke thinks he’s fine with this. Making time stop and stay still in this calm place. He has done this before, he has thought about ending it all countless times. So why are his hands trembling? Why is he crying? Why is he so scared? Has his mind finally understood and accepted that this is it. This is his actual death. The actual end to his suffering. Sasuke took in a deep breath and looked up at the snowy trees. A single tear fell. It felt like molten lava against his icy cheek. It cooled down as it reached his chin and Sasuke vaguely wondered if that’s how his blood will cool down in the snow.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. He wasn’t sure why he was being quiet, out here only him and the trees could hear him.

Maybe it’s because he was scared of disturbing the peace around him, ruining everything like he always does or maybe it’s because he was scared that if he raised his voice even louder he would start screaming and crying, bawling his eyes out and screaming his lungs out. Maybe he was scared that doing that would make him let out all of his suppressed emotions and that would make him feel a bit lighter, a bit better. But the thing is, he doesn’t want to feel better. He’s accepted this; the way that he lived, the way that he is, the way that he will die.

Another tear rolled down his face, his chin trembled and he sobbed.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated and only the trees heard him.

He just hoped that his friends won’t cry over this too much. He hopes that they could somehow feel that, even if he was crying, he left peacefully, surrounded, and no longer trapped by the cold cruelty of this world. Soon it won’t be cold. Soon he will be burning in hell. He just hopes that if the afterlife is real, that his soul will be able to stay in this cold beautiful painting for eternity. He found peace in the cold. He saw beauty in what once plagued him with dread. He’s happy now, and he hopes that whoever will greet him on the other side will be merciful enough to allow him to stay at least a couple more minutes here, amongst the pure white snow and the deep red that reminds him of roses so much. He hopes to stay in this never changing castle of snow forever with rivers of red coursing through the land.

**********************

Suigetsu clicked his tongue against his teeth when the ringing in his phone ended in another send to voice message. This was the third time he tried calling Sasuke with no answer. His annoyance was turning into worry. The beep signaled that he was being recorded. Suigetsu let out a shuddering breath, trying to calm his nerves.

“Hey, Sas. Pick up the damn phone, will ya?” He chuckled, though it sounded humourless, even to his own ears. “Look…” He sighed and pressed the palm of his other hand to his eyes. “I’m sorry if you’re upset with me. I know that I disappeared from the face o’ the earth without saying ‘nothing. And, again, I’m sorry.” There was a long beat of silence, only his own breathing could be heard from the other end of the phone. Suigetsu lowered his hand from his face to fall between his knees. “I killed Kisame. An’ I know I shouldn’t be saying this over the phone but… I miss you. I want to talk to you. I need to hear your voice…” He swallowed and let out a breath. “The cops caught me. Not red handed, o’ course. That would send me straight to prison… but they had enough proof to arrest me and take me into questioning… Ugh…” Suigetsu let out a huff and let his hand run through his hair. “My parents paid some detective they know to let me out. So now I’m… out.”

He could hear how his voice sounded unsure and awkward, Suigetsu wanted to cringe at how weak he sounded but that’s exactly how he felt.

“Look jus’… don’t be a stranger. Call me back, I can’t be here without you.” Another long pause. “You know that the only reason why I stopped using is because of you. I don’t care about myself, I don’t care for what happens to me. I fulfilled my dream, I did what I always wanted and now… Now you’re my only anchor in life. Sas, please don’t be angry with me. Gosh I sound so pathetic but I really can’t do this without you. I only stopped because of you, please, Sasuke, I need you.”

 

(36 unread messages)

 

*******

 

Karin (17 missed calls)

Suigetsu (6 missed calls)

Jugo (11 missed calls)

Obito (3 missed calls)

Sai (5 unread messages)

Grandpa (1 missed call)

Naruto (1 missed call)

 

*******

 

(1 voice message)

 

The end

Notes:

Oh wow, it's actually, finally the end.
I honestly can't believe it. I was getting whiplash from all of the emotions while I was writing these final two chapters. For the longest time these last two chapters felt like a weight on me, creeping behind me, staying behind every corner, reminding me of the work I haven't finished. now that it's done I feel so much lighter, like a rock was taken off from my chest. And it hasn't settled in. I'm guessing because all of these emotions are still coursing through my veins, but I just know that I will feel so empty after I'm officially finally finished with this.

I apologise that it took me so long to write this, but I'm so happy that I didn't rush to finish this in spring or summer. I learned a lot in my psychology classes in these last few months and they helped me a lot in writing these chapters. It took so long but now it's finally finished... I honestly still can't believe it.

I came up with this story four years ago. It all started with the scene where Sasuke was inroduced to the class after he got back from the camp. That single scene was what inspired the rest of this story to come into existence. Those four years ago I never imagined that I would be sitting here, writing the last note for this story and that I would have it finished.
But, after almost two years of creating the story, then writing it, it's actually done.

This story and your support means so much to me. I met so many new people while writing it, so many of them inspired and encouraged this story to continue. I have so much gratitude for each and every one of you.

Thank you to the ones who were with me from the very beginning,
timestandsstillguys, KVRchocolate, kajasame

Thank you to those who left comments along the way and enjoyed the story together with me,
srta_starr, Pipi2323, Malasti

Thank you to the strange Superguest, who's love for Orochimaru made our comment section colourfully interesting.

Thank you to all of the guest accounts and everyone else, whose names I didn't mention. Your every comment has meant so much to me, it inspired me to keep writing as I knew that there were people waiting for updates, peole who enjoyed this story as much as I did.

And last but definitely not least, Arisunne.
The friendship that I got with you is the best thing that this story has given me.
Thank you for being there, for listening, for being so patient and for being an amazing friend.

Perya_97, thank you for being my number 1 fan, for supporting me and my stories and your words, that you cannot imagine Sasuke living a normal life and healing from such trauma after that horrible crime that he commited, was what inspired the very end for this story. It wouldn't exist without you, thank you.

I awknowledge and thank every single one of you for being on this journey with me. It might be the last stop for this story specifically, but my sriting journey is not done yet. If any of you are interested in the Odyssey, Alice in borderland or avatar, feel free to explore my profile.
And if we won't meet on another journey, then I wish you all the best in life.

Once again, I can't believe this is the end and thank you all.

Good bye