12 Hours: When You're Mine

by WinnieYYLau

Summary:

If everyone in this world has 24 hours a day, then White only lives half of it. It never mattered before, until an odd encounter occurred. Odd, as in the overwhelming desire, mysterious attraction, and unknown danger. Sean could be a nobody, or he could also be a red code. Alas, both were blinded by what they hope to be love in this hopeless place. But White only have so much time and like a cat, Sean only has nine lives until curiosity kills him in the form of Black.

- An AU set in the future when Sean only meet the twins much later on in life, whereas they might have terrifying secrets for him to uncover.

Chapter 1: Intro

A moving truck parked right outside the green building. Sean looked out the window from his small room. He figured that’s the new neighbor Gumpa talked about.

What kind of idiot chooses this slump of a neighborhood to start a business?

Then a small, silver car came, parked right behind the truck. The idiot came out of it. Looking like a spoiled rich brat. But the way he chatted up the moving crew, giving instructions and thanking them politely was unexpected. He looked like he knew his stuff, or at least acted like he did. Appearance like a young businessman and mannerism of a politician.

Sean puffed out some smoke. Now, what kind of breeze would this new guy bring to this town?

Chapter 2: 1st Hour: Across the tattoo shop

Notes:

This fic is inspired by My Side - OffGun MV
Lots of things are different from the original series
Almost nothing to do with it, actually
So please don't relate to the series too much...
And enjoy the ride~

Does he enjoy life? Maybe yes, maybe no. People living in this city hardly have an answer to that. They survive each day. Yes, that's more like it. Sean too, is no exception.

He works in a tattoo parlour that Gumpa runs for… how many years now? He had lost count. School was so far behind. Point is, for someone nearing their 30s, far away from home, single and dreamless, happiness is simple. Work 8-9 hours, then spend the little money he has on his bike, a drink, and occasionally football.

Uneventful? Pretty much. But that's fine. Sean is content with his life as long as he's not a burden to his mother back at the farm. He doesn't get in trouble, have debts nor poke into others' business. He'd live an uneventful life to live a long life.

That's usually how it is. Until his neighbour moved in. His curious neighbour.

Across the tattoo shop opened a diner and bar. Small, but quite cozy from its look. Not that Sean had ever tried eating there - not his style. The owner was a capable young man, probably younger than Sean. The diner’s open from morning to midnight. He did everything alone. Doesn't interact with anyone but his customers.

Both their shops were in the same old, lousy building, in a dying neighbourhood that not many people visit. Although few, the diner always had customers coming in and out, but hardly any repeating ones. Also, most of them didn't look like they're from around here.

Sean is observant and quick-witted. He observes but does not get involved. That's how he's getting by so far. But this , this restaurant owner piqued his interest more than necessary. The young man has a small figure. Small, yet fairly toned. He looks like he won't survive a day in the wild, but also like he would live on by his knowledge alone. He was interesting.

Sean lived upstairs. In the small room he rented from Gumpa with one-fourth of his salary. The young man stayed on the same floor. Gumpa said he took the big room and paid for one whole year. Sean thought and said it out loud, "Sounds like he got money from funny business."

Then seeing each other day and night, though never even exchanged words of greeting, only accumulated curiosity. Through observation, Sean found something peculiar. Yes, more than the mysterious flow of money or crazy energy the man had. He seemed to have a completely different attitude during daytime and nighttime.

Daytime, the man was more expressive. More bright in personality. He sometimes smiled, sometimes Sean stared at him and caught him staring his way too. He faked indifference but the mutual interest was obvious.

Nighttime, the man had icy cold stare. He wouldn't bat an eyelash at Sean. Showed neither emotion nor care about the world. He might come upon a dead body and just walk past it in a heartbeat.

Regardless, they're the same person. Same stripes tattoo on his left arm, same ears full of piercings, same short hair with bangs, same small face with dimple smile. Sean concluded: the young man had multiple personality disorder.

Nothing new in this strange, crime-filled, shithole of a town. Remaining sane like Sean is probably more of a challenge.

So to make it easier for him, Sean called the daytime man as 'White' in his head. While the nighttime one is 'Black'.

…

One day, the cycle broke.

Sean just got back from the store and was making his way up the stairs when someone running down bumped into him. He fell back, luckily had only climbed two steps. But the turbulence hurt his chest and bottom. Plus, his stuff was all over the floor now.

"Fuck!" He cursed. "Do you have eyes?? That's fucking dangerous!"

'White' looked up, guilt and fear-laced. He got up upon realizing he's on Sean. For a second he seemed lost. Eyes darting around, contemplating if he should help pick up the stuff or leave. Sean was not having it. The former should be the default choice.

"What? Are you just gonna stand there?"

'White' flinched. He moved slightly, but before bending down, his phone beeped. As if a cue, he got back on his track. "I'm so sorry-" He said, turning heels and ran out of the building.

"Hey!" Sean yelled, still on the floor. But the young man was gone in a flash. He cussed some more before picking himself up.

He had been so pissed that night that he missed an important detail. It only occurred to him the next morning. When he got to work, Gumpa pointed to a paper bag on his table. "Someone left it for you."

He frowned, looking into it. A cup of warm coffee and some nice-looking bread inside. Then a note.

‘Terribly sorry for last night! I had to run to the hospital! Hope some yummy breakfast can help fix your day :)’

"Who's this from, Hia?"

"The rich boy. He said to give it to the 'scary-looking Phi' that works here. Well, if that’s not you?"

The rich boy… 'White'? Wait, a minute. White??

Sean remembered clearly that he watched the football match as soon as he got home, fuming. The match started at 8. Which means, for the first time, 'White' appeared at nighttime??

Interesting, yet again.

He took a sip of the best americano he had had for a while now. Planning on how to approach the young man later. Aware, but ignoring the danger that might come his way. Because involving himself with a rich boy of a vague background and had mental illness doesn't sound like a secret of longevity.

Perhaps, staying low for too long had reached its limit. His life had grown way too boring that this is like an oasis in the desert. Sean was itching with desire to know more of this Black and White person. Moreover, the note he left was impossibly adorable that the wrath from last night was nearly wiped clean. He was dying to see what kind of face 'White' would make if he went to say hi.

…

Sean camped outside the restaurant at lunch time like a stalker. He knew it always closed at 2 pm and reopened an hour later.

Expectedly, 'White' exited the shop right on time. He flipped the open sign to close and locked the door. Then he found Sean at the corner that's a blind spot from his shop window. Startled, the man turned away and tried to run again but Sean wasn't stuck on the floor this time round.

"Hey, you,"

The rich boy tried to act fool, still.

"Are you deaf?" Sean stepped away from the wall. "I know you aren't."

At that, he looked back but not without fake confusion. "Oh, you're talking to me?"

"You really don't have eyes, huh? Do you even see anyone around?"

'White' frowned. "What do you want…? I said sorry, didn't I?"

Sean looked at him up and down. He dressed differently between day and night, another result of his stalking. 'Black' tends to wear dull color, torn clothes, sleeveless shirts or ripped pants - like all the other hoodlums in the area. While 'White' wears slightly better, sometimes even appearing chic with a plaid pattern or blazer. Last night, he dressed as 'Black' but all the mannerisms screamed 'White'.

"And you think sorry is enough?"

"Well… I left you coffee and stuff."

Sean was holding back a smile. Because he didn’t think thanking the boy civilly was good enough to have his attention, he went on, “That’s for bumping into me. What about my broken stuff? You don’t think about making it up for me?”

“...How much are they? I’ll pay you back.”

“You think I want your money?” The young man stepped back nervously as he stepped forward. “Spoiled, rich kid like you only know to throw money at people, huh?”

‘White’ had been passive all this time. The amount of time they had accidental eye contact, he’d always been the one breaking it. He also tried to run, to end this interaction as soon as possible. But Sean might have hit the bull's eye. He didn’t seem fond of the last words Sean spewed to test the water.

“Who are you to judge me?” he pushed Sean away before his back hit the glass window. “I said sorry. I tried to end things nicely, yet you want to pick a fight with me! Don’t think I’m easy to pick on, ‘cuz I’ll make you regret it!”

Oh. Oh , he’s fiercer than expected. That only intrigued him further. “I don’t want to fight you.”

“Then, what??”

Sean smirked, “I’d seem like a bully if I fought you.”

The crease between his brows grew deeper. ‘White’ looked like an angry chipmunk holding back from pouncing on him. Sean knew he’s an asshole in the other’s eyes and that sounded good. The man would remember him for sure.

“Your restaurant has been open for a while, huh?”

“And what about it?”

“You don’t think about greeting your neighbors at all? Treating them a meal or something?” Sean pulled his infamous cocky face that Gumpa always says he has. “It’s better to make friends than enemies around here, you know? To prevent trouble in your business… or something.”

Business owners, especially those doing food and drink, had fled this neighborhood one after another. Hardly decent people come in and they keep getting lost bills or forced out of business for not paying protection money. Usually the doing of the local thugs. Sean isn’t a part of them, but he knows plenty (they’re all his customers). Pretending to be one isn’t that hard.

He raised his brows, waiting for an answer. The other man was hesitant, between unwillingness and, Sean knows, the same curiosity. Eventually, ‘White’ clicked his tongue and took his key back out.

“Come in,” he said after unlocking the door.

Sean followed, smiling in victor. He had been eyeing this place the whole month but never stepped in. Today, he can finally have a good look at the interior. It looks like american-styled diner but with twists. A lot of twists. Vintage Chinese posters all over the wall. Ramen bowls decorated the top shelves along with milkshake glasses. There was a patty grill but there’s also a wooden mortar and pestle.

‘White’ stepped behind the kitchen counter and wore his waist-length apron. “Take a seat.” he said, nudging at the bar seat like a sushi chef preparing him for an omakase course.

Sean sat down, snorted. “I can’t guess what you’re gonna serve me.”

A faint smile pulled at the corner of the owner’s mouth. “Everyone says so.” And he started taking things out from the fridge. “Any food allergy?”

“Not as far as I know.”

“Any restrain? From religion or stuff?”

“Not really.”

“Can you handle spice?”

The way he paused to look at Sean was challenging, so he couldn’t lose to it. “More than you think.”

‘White’ chuckled, a foreign tone to Sean - almost ticklish. “Don’t be too proud, Sir.”

He began cutting ingredients, putting all his attention into it. The delicate movement, careful measurement and precise steps weren’t simple cooking - more like he’s crafting. For this moment alone, he doesn’t fit in this slum of a city. Sean watched and he was bewitched. Had not wanted to interrupt what seemed like a sacred process, but he knew what he’s there for. So he had to find out. What's the deal with this attractive young man?

“Aren’t you telling me what I’m gonna eat?”

His eyes and hands stayed on his creation. “It’d ruin the surprise.”

“Don’t I get to choose? Where’s your menu?”

“We don’t have a menu here. Only the chef's recommendation.”

“What if I don't like it?”

‘White’ shrugged. “Take a chance.”

Sean had no idea why but that's kind of hot. He began thinking if it's alright to continue whatever this is that he started. But the man left him no room to think.

"I'm wondering…" Started him. "Do you run the tattoo parlour or is it Hia Gumpa?"

"You know Hia?"

He chuckled. "I rented a room from him. What do you think?"

Sean felt stupid for asking. Of course he did. How could he even forget that? But then it irked him a bit at the realization that the man knew Gumpa's name, which means Gumpa knew his too. But the older man never told Sean, always used the term 'rich boy' that Sean started. It shouldn't be a big deal but it pissed him off.

"So, how is it?"

"He owns the place." Sean lazily answered. "But he is a busy man. So I run it for him mostly."

"I see."

Then it's silent. Sean could feel the uneasiness in the air. The mutual attraction tugging at each other. But he's too stubborn to ask anything and the other chose to occupy himself in cooking instead.

"Do you like music?" The man suddenly asked, back facing Sean as he boiled some noodles.

"Yeah,"

"What kind?"

Sean gave it a thought. "I used to play in a rock band."

"Really?" 'White' almost turned around. "What do you play?"

"Bass guitar."

"Oh!" Sean heard excitement, but he was suddenly aware of it and toned it down. "Then do you like Led Zeppelin?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I do have one album."

'White' turned off the stove and drained the noodle water with a strainer. Then left his cooking to go to the other side of the room. He had a vinyl record player there.

Melody of Stairway to Heaven filled the diner in no time. Sean tapped his feet along with the rhythm and it's not until halfway to the song that he realized a crucial thing. That 'White' was doing this to break the suffocating silence.

Sean stared at the small back of the chef. Thinking to himself again, this is bad…

He was served a bowl of noodle called tantanmen . It was spicy, savory and unforgettable. He can’t recall the last time he had a meal that delicious. Sean almost asked for a second serving if he wasn't held spellbound when he looked up. Finding 'White' staring at him with much fascination.

"Good?"

"...Not bad." He admitted.

The young man smiled in satisfaction. "Happy to serve."

Sean didn't get why there's barely any repeating customers. Because he could picture himself sitting here everyday, watching 'White' do his magic.

He held out his hand. Not knowing what's ahead of him by doing this, but screw it. "I'm Sean. Welcome to the 'Gotham' City of Thailand."

The young man was taken aback, hesitantly shook his hand but said nothing in return.

"So?" Sean raised a brow. "What's your name? I'm tired of calling you 'White' in my head."

"'White'...?"

Sean shrugged. "I don't know if you noticed, but you're like two different people day and night. So I've been calling you like that."

'White' was tongue-tied. Sean wasn't a hundred percent sure it’s the right thing to reveal on their first interaction. What if it's a secret? What if the person himself didn't know of his own alter ego? But, again, screw it. Sean had been dying to see the world burn maybe. If this man turned out to be a psycho killer, he'd just fight him.

"...like what?"

"'Black' and 'White'. Now you look less of a menace, so you're White. At night you look less of a saint, so you're Black." Sean explained nonchalantly. "But that's the nickname I made up. So what should I call you from now on?"

The young man was quiet for a moment. Sean couldn't tell if he's amused in what way. Though, the smile that followed made him want to think it's the pleasant kind.

"'White' is alright. I rather like it. You can continue calling me that."

…

Notes:

I'm screwed.
Old job had interesting offer that might benefit me
But it means I might have to go back to that hellhole
I don't want to sacrifice these precious times to write again
What to do :((

Btw how do you find this story?
Tell me your thoughts!

Chapter 3: 2nd Hour: The cat

Notes:

Disclaimer:
Any similarities with the series The Heart Killers are pure coincidence
I wrote this from last year
Trust me

I wonder why my fic ended up similar with some series
Maybe GMMTV should hire me to write their script
Lmao jk

‘White’ likes the nickname. There are two reasons why. He and his brother never had names. People have ways to call them, of course, but they are not names. Not something as personal and exclusive as that.

Subject T-012 and Subject T-021. Agent AZ and Agent NZ. And such other codes, depending on the facility they were in. They don’t have names. Nor birth certificates. Nor past and future. They only have the present, current mission, and each other.

That is until the brothers arrived in this embodiment of Gotham City in reality.

Second reason, these nicknames, while simple, represent them in the most accurate way possible. It reflected how similar and dissimilar they are. How they are two sides of the same coin, but still a completely different individual. It’s perfect for them.

Now he is White and his 3-minutes-older brother is Black.

Black, on the other hand, didn’t seem entirely fond of the idea. “What’s up with him? Is he bothering you? I’ll go beat him up tonight.”

“Don’t, Hia!” he had to physically hold his brother down. “I mean, he’s kinda mean at first, but I don’t think he’s a bad person.”

“He stalked us day and night. And your bitch’s ass says there’s nothing wrong with him?”

White laughed. That’s just how people are in this town. No one wants to be involved enough to get acquaintanced. But humans are social creatures. The desire to know, to link with other human beings will always be there. “He’s never done anything to us so far. I bet he’s just curious.”

“Curiosity kills the cat. And I’m gonna be a cat-killer if he tries something funny.”

“But satisfaction will bring him back alive.” White held his brother’s hand. “Don’t worry. I’m sure he won’t do anything.”

“Shitface,” Black said, just his unique terms of endearment. “How many times have I told you about being fucking naive?”

“I know. Don’t worry. I’ll deal with him myself if he’s a red.”

Red means dangerous individual, to terminate on the spot. Yellow means potential harm and needs observation. Green means civilian, subject of protection. There is gray too: do not engage, immediate retreat - but they rarely encounter one.

Those are the color-based categories they use to judge people they meet in their missions. It’s something they came up with together and had helped them throughout their lives. Funny how it never crossed their mind before to make one for themselves.

White initially knew that Black was afraid that they might lose each other anytime possible. Having names would make the separation harder. Having names means one would have to engrave the other’s name and remember him forever. Black is cruel. But he is cruel to survive. He is cruel to save himself and to keep his little brother safe.

But even if Black can deceive himself, he can not deceive White. They are linked from birth. The link only grew stronger since. Just like White loving the sound of ‘Hia Black’, he knew Black too, liked that he finally had a way to call him instead of ‘shitface’, ‘crybaby’, or ‘stupid brat’.

“Yeah, whatever.” Black got up from the floor. “Just don’t get too chummy with him.”

“Are you leaving?”

Black disappeared into the bathroom. “Hia called. Long night tonight.”

White picked up the cigarette Black left and brought it to his lips. Grimaced at the taste. He still can't smoke, after all. As he blew it out the veranda, White wondered if Sean smokes. Does he drink? What drinks would he frequent? Will he come back to the diner?

The sun was setting and Black would leave the house soon. Meaning, everything he wanted to know about Sean had to be kept until tomorrow morning. Because he's not supposed to step out at nighttime.

…

"There you are."

White was out of his trance when he heard that voice. Low, almost growling, but filled with subtle anticipation. "Morning, Sean."

"You're late."

"I am not. My shop always opens at 9."

"My coffee came at 8.45 yesterday."

White unlocked the door and Sean followed him in again. "How do you know?"

"We have CCTV if that's news to you."

"You went that far to find my fault?"

"Can't hurt to be careful."

More like petty, but White found that funny. Sean was unique. "So you get addicted to my coffee."

Sean sat on the precise seat he occupied yesterday. "Not sure if you can call that addiction. I'm just re-evaluating to make sure if you're indeed good or if it was a fluke."

"Sure," White chuckled. "Please leave a review afterwards, Mr. Customer. We don't have social media, so please kindly write your thoughts and put it in the review box by the entrance."

“Hand-written in this day and age?” Sean looked to the direction pointed, snorted. "Another twist, huh? How much do you have left?"

"Who knows?" White turned on the coffee machine. "Keep looking."

"Oh, I will."

“Don’t forget to tell me what you found too.”

He raised a brow. “Why should I do that?”

“Hmm, so I can confirm it for you?”

Sean leaned forward on the bar, sharp eyes looking up at White. “And? Why do I need your confirmation?”

That was a little unexpected. White’s heart skipped a beat. But he tried to keep his composure and turned around. “Anything else other than coffee, Mr. Customer? Something to fill your stomach, maybe?”

He could see Sean’s snigger from the coffee machine’s reflection. It was both irritating and strangely charming. “Nah, I’m good,” he said.

White thought otherwise. He’s eager to impress after all. While waiting for the coffee, he plugged in the toaster. Sean eyed him and his every action with interest, but made no comment. A moment later, White covered the paper cup filled with americano. As Sean was fishing his pocket for money, he handed him the grilled cheese sandwich he quickly packed.

“Drinking coffee with an empty stomach is not good.”

“You’re so extra. I didn’t ask for it.”

“Yeah, but you can have it.”

“I’m not paying for that.”

White shrugged, “Don’t worry, I like to throw money at people. This much is nothing.”

The taller man stared, crescent moon eyes widened slightly. Then a smirk arose on his lips. He closed in the distance between their faces again. “That one is no surprise. I know that already.”

Sean is safe. He shouldn't be a red-code. They don't usually do things so openly. White had no idea what he wanted, that he's so eager to approach and dig things around him, but he can feel it. Sean isn't a bad guy. So White made him good food. Because he'd like to know about this guy as well. He'd let him come, as long as he doesn't find out too much, or Black will kill the cat.

White grabbed a card from the cashier and handed it to Sean along with his change. “Since you’re so eager to know about this place, think of it as a game.”

“What is this?” He looked at the row of empty boxes, with a few highlighted in different colors.

“Tell me what you found. You get a stamp for every right finding.” White showed off a little rubber stamp. “If you get to the colored box, you get a reward.” Sean turned the card, looking back and forth. Acting like he couldn’t care less. “How is it? Up for the game?”

“I don’t know. I don’t see why I should.”

“It’s for your own good, Sean. I don’t want to have to call the police on you for snooping around my shop.” He sighed, dramatically. “Why not make it easier for both of us. Plus, you get rewards. Don’t you want rewards?”

Sean snorted. “Oh, I do want to know what kind of rewards you can offer.”

White shrugged, smiling slyly. Eyes hidden behind his tinted glasses. “But in this game, you gotta be honest. It won’t be exciting if you don’t.” He knew by the change in Sean’s expression that he had got him invested.

“Only 10?” Sean asked after a pause.

White tilted his head.

“10 seems a little easy, isn’t it? I suggest you start printing more of this. ‘Cuz I’ll be done in no time.”

He waved to White while sipping his coffee, the sandwich in hand. White watched him exited the shop and his stomach churned a little. Fearing he might have made the wrong decision playing with fire. He had a feeling Sean would really make it to 10. Just like how he managed to notice Black and White’s differences.

White might have to stall time or hinder him from reaching 10. He had to keep this curious cat alive somehow.

…

Notes:

I got some idea for JaneRyan fic that made me cried
But it won't come out soon
Not until I drag this fic to the end

Thank you for reading~

Chapter 4: 3rd Hour: Sean, your buddy

Notes:

Holiday came up and I was too lazy to update
But I wrote and wrote
Praying that I can quickly finish it
Have too much OG fic idea stashed in my drive
Hope you guys will enjoy the long ride~

White was right. Sean got addicted. He grew fond of guessing what the menu of the day was, what White was cooking, what face White would make at his trivial finds.

Sean came for coffee almost every morning (he was not a caffeine addict before this). For lunch every couple of days. But never for dinner. He passed by Black in the hallway one evening. The attempt to greet him was shot down like he's a pestering fly. Black doesn't seem to know him like White does. Sean assumed both personalities don't share the same memory or something.

To test this theory, the next time they met, Sean tried to chat with him. The smaller man didn’t respond. Sean tried again. The man only glared at him like he’s one of the bastards high on weed at the back alley. Sean made a mental note to never talk to him again.

Come morning, Sean felt like he’s going crazy with the rest of the town. How did he want to punch this person last night but want to pinch his cheek now?

Sean got lucky. He’s earlier than usual and came upon a rare sight. White was stuffing his face with what seemed like white bread with filling. Looked like a hamster with puffy cheeks full of food. Believe it or not, he realized he never saw White having a meal. In the wild, eating is a vulnerable moment when one’s guard is down on the lowest point. Black and White are like a mysterious creature that he can’t predict. Seeing this made him seem more… human.

“What’s that? Looks good.” Sean said as he entered the shop.

There was a mini panic in White’s eyes. But he didn’t really flinch. Only wrapped his food and put it down calmly. “You’re early. Miss me already?”

Sean considered answering yes just to see his reaction. “Can’t sleep, so I strolled around and got hungry.”

“I see. So no coffee today.”

He shrugged. “Can I have what you’re having?”

“Sure,”

“What is it anyway?”

White turned on the stove beneath the grilling pan. “It’s called rou jia mo .”

“And? What’s that?”

“Hmm,” He put down a piece of white dough to fry it. “Think of it like a Chinese burger. Pork or beef?”

“Pork.”

“Good choice!”

“Why?”

“Well, both are good. But pork has more fat. The mix of the meat and fat makes it more fragrant and full of umami.”

“Which were you eating, Chef?”

“Beef.”

“Aow?”

White chuckled. “Well, I’m watching my weight lately.”

“What for?” Sean snorted. “If you lose any more weight, the wind’s gonna blow you away.”

“Excuse me??” White raised a thong threateningly. “Are you calling me small? Even if I am small, I can still kick your ass if you need me to.”

That only earned him a smirk from Sean. “How cute.”

White didn’t catch the last one since he started chopping the braised meat. Sean didn’t know to be relieved or disappointed.

“And, here you go!” He served Sean the white and fried to a crisp bun stuffed with chopped pork belly and greens.

“What about you, Chef?”

White was slightly fazed. Question mark written on his face.

“Why don’t you come and eat with me?”

“Oh, uhh…”

“I interrupted your meal, right? Now you can go on.”

“That’s… I don’t eat in front of a customer…”

Sean shrugged. “Don’t think of me as one then. I am your neighbor, Sean from the tattoo place.”

White looked hesitant but wasn’t unwilling. A new look. New findings. Sean couldn’t help feeling excited. “What? Too formal, still? Then I can be Sean, your flatmate.”

It didn’t work just yet. Sean is not one to give up easily. “Okay, should I be Sean, your buddy instead?”

At last, White giggled, melody to Sean’s ears. He never knew such a mediocre thing could be so soothing to hear. A smile curved up on his own lips too. “White, my friend, come sit and eat with me.”

White laughed a little more. “When did we become friends?” But he took out his half-eaten food and went around the bar to sit with Sean.

“We can start from now on.”

…

Sean:

‘Do you eat bugs?’

White:

‘Pardon?’

Sean:

‘You know that shopping district near the BTS station?’

‘The fried bugs stall is famous.’

White:

‘Okay…?’

Sean:

‘Wanna go eat?’

 

“Dude,”

“What?”

“If that’s how you ask someone out, then prepare to die alone when you’re old.”

Sean frowned at Yok. “The fuck? What’s wrong with it?”

“Let Gram read it and tell you.”

So he tossed his phone to the big guy on the bean bag. Gram read it, processed it, then snickered. “Are you serious?”

“Just tell me what made him not reply to my message.”

“Why do you ask him to eat bugs for a first date??”

“Friend, you’re out of the dating game for way too long.”

“Why? Isn’t that thrilling? ”

“And why does it gotta be thrilling?” Gram asked.

Sean asked back. “Well, what do you guys suggest instead?”

“Hmm,” Gram rolled his eyes upwards. “Movie? Dinner? Stroll around the beach?”

“Night ride with your bike? I just painted your baby.” Yok pointed to Sean’s motorcycle at the garage corner.

Sean laughed dryly at their so-called ideas. “Y’all are too basic.”

“Basic is good!” Gram argued. “First dates are supposed to be basic.”

“Not with White. He is extraordinary.”

His two friends only exchanged glances and let him be. Gram is the son of the repair shop, while Yok is a poor kid that works there as soon as he finishes school. There’s nearly nothing the three have in common besides their love for bikes, but they became good friends anyway. Maybe the only friends Sean has left.

Still, he won’t be taking their advice. Not like they have better chances in love than him. Yok will never get over his ex of five years. Gram has a hopeless crush on an asshole bartender.

And, he’s right to ignore them.

 

White:

‘Sure, is tomorrow 1 p.m. okay?’

Sean:

‘I’ll pick you up.’

…

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Why?”

Black was clearly put off. “That plain-faced asshole?”

White chortled. “I think he’s pretty handsome.”

“You can get someone better. You’re my brother for fuck’s sake.”

“No one is better for you, Black.”

“Because all men sucks.”

“Including us?”

“Including us.”

White laughed again, taking the half-empty beer bottle from his brother’s hand. “That’s why you only favor Kru Gene?”

Black didn’t answer. He’d never answer those kinds of questions. All their lives, no relationship could last long. It simply doesn’t work. Either their partner got scared, got killed or were forced to dump them for their safety.

Yet they are still human - if they can be called so. Unable to stop loving  and craving to be loved. Black and White don’t restrict themselves from seeking love, whether it be one-night pleasure or heart-fluttering dates. But not a committed relationship.

“Are you really going out with that pale dude?”

Yet another nickname for Sean. “Why? What’s wrong with him?”

“He is a weirdo. I don’t like him.”

“Good. If you like him, we’re gonna have to compete.” White giggled.

Black’s nose scrunched up in disgust. “I’d rather eat shit.”

Sean is a bit peculiar, yes. But White likes his slightly odd but adventurous self. It feels like looking into a mirror. Like Sean speaks his language. Black must have seen it too, so he eventually gave up on convincing White.

“Well, I don’t care. Go ahead. But don’t get attached.”

White easily nodded. “I won’t.” He said, not knowing if it's a storm or hail that’s looming, coming his way. But that’s a problem for future White.

…

Chapter 5: 4th Hour: A good person

Maybe, just maybe, for once Yok and Gram were right. Sean hadn’t been on a date for long. Namo was the last he went out with and that’s years ago - too long ago. Even then he wasn’t so nervous he’s going to throw up anytime soon. Nor would he be anxious if his jacket smelled like cigarettes or if any chilies were stuck between his teeth.

Then he heard the door opening. Sean looked away from his bike mirror. White was locking the door to his shop and Sean fixed his clothes real quick for the last time.

When White turned around, he paused to eye Sean up and down. “Is it just me…”

“What?”

“...or are you dressing up really nice today?”

“Am I?” Shrugged him. “Nah, it’s normal. You’re imagining it.”

“I see…”

Sean took the spare helmet he dug up from Gram’s garage yesterday. He stopped briefly, suddenly considering if he should help him put it on, but that’s ridiculous. He eventually tossed it to White. “Hop on,” he turned on the engine. White struggled up a little with his short legs. Sean chuckled internally. “Look, you might get blown away. I won’t scream sexual harassment if you hold onto me.”

White laughed dryly. “Have you ever considered that I might be the one feeling harassed?”

Sean looked back. The shorter man smirked at him, and in no way of accepting defeat, he nodded. “Okay, suit yourself.”

Without as much of a warning, Sean rolled the throttle and the bike ran full speed on the get go. “Fuck, Sean…!” Cried White as he automatically clutched onto Sean’s jacket. The latter cackled with no remorse.

Thailand is always hot. That day was no exception, yet it felt breezy for Sean. Like spring has come. Maybe it’s naive of him for once. Maybe it’s a sign of a storm, or blizzard, or god knows what. Even so, he had not felt this giddy in a while. He let himself bask in the present. Enjoying the breeze as they sped through the busy city of Thailand’s capital.

…

“Look how scared you were.” He showed White the picture he took of him, frowning as he held a skewer of fried whole scorpion.

White bulged out his already big eyes. “Since when did you take that??” He tried to snatch the phone, but Sean withdrew faster. “Delete that…!”

“No way.”

“It’s so ugly! Delete that now, Sean!”

“It’s my property, I can do whatever I want with it.”

White reached for the device, but clearly, Sean was winning with the height advantage. “What about my privacy? I have the right to refuse to be photographed!”

“Oh, you’re talking law with me? Come then, I went to law school !”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t finish.”

“Why not?”

Sean shrugged. It’s not particularly a proud thing to talk about, but nothing shameful either. “Joined a protest, got arrested, and had a criminal record so the school dropped   me out.”

White stopped on his tracks. Noticing that, Sean paused to turn around. If you ask whether he wanted to impress his opponent, well, maybe a little bit. But his definition of impressive might differs from normal people.

“What? Did that put you off?”

There was no hesitation when White shook his head, making it a nice surprise. “If anything, that’s very cool… What’s the protest about?”

“Inequality, exploitation of local farmers, a bunch of things. It’s so long ago. I can’t remember much.”

“Did it go well?”

 Sean snorted. “You’d think I’d be in a better place now if it worked out.”

White frowned, as if the pain was his own. “None? It resulted in nothing?”

His lips suddenly felt dry. The concern in his opponent’s eyes felt extremely personal. It was a lie that he didn’t remember. But remembering it made his heart ache every time. Sean wasn’t sure if he wanted to go down that talk on a first fucking date. In the end, he brushed it off with a bitter laugh. “Well, a little bit. But it was snuffed out in no time. Classic result.”

“And did you do nothing more?”

“It was a closed-case. There’s nothing more I could do.”

The smaller man dropped his gaze somberly. Sean could have changed the topic then. But it might have been in his blood. Something in White’s attitude about the talk pulled a string in his heart. He’s bound to be attracted to people with passion like White.

“Why the long face? It’s all in the past anyway.”

“I know… I just feel that it’s too bad. It costs you your future and all.”

“Feeling pity for me now? Rest assured. I don’t want to work under the corrupt law of this country anyway. It’s no big deal.”

“Yes, injustice is everywhere. But if done right, law is a powerful weapon that could help so many people. If you had stuck around, you could have been a great lawyer or judge.”

“...You think so?”

White smiled, the sincerity in those glistening brown orbs was evident. “You’re amazing. Not everyone dares to protest. The world needs more people with just hearts like yours. It’s sad that speaking up for our rights has become a crime.”

Safe to say, Sean was falling in love.

No one, not even his mother had acknowledged him this way. And White wasn’t sympathizing with him either. He saw Sean’s pain and understood he doesn’t actually regret it. It’s like he’s been with Sean all along. And they haven’t known each other for more than 2 weeks. If what Namo said is true, that someday he’d meet someone right for him, he hopes it’s someone like White.

…

“Fucking great.” Black scoffed. “Now you’re searching his background.”

“Hia Black!” White turned around abruptly. Not bother covering his laptop screen since his brother had seen it all anyway. “Put on some clothes! You’ll get cold!”

“Don’t change the topic.” He said, but reaching out for a dark green tank top and a pair of jeans anyway. “What’s that? I told you not to get attached.”

“I’m not. Just curious. ‘Cuz you see, he sounds like a good person.”

“How so?”

“Well, he said he went to law school and also joined a protest.”

“And?”

Oh, White hates when his brother does that.

“That’s all it takes to be a ‘good person’?”

“Well, I don’t know. Gotta observe more.”

Black heaved a sigh, buttoning his pants. “Have you two fucked yet?”

White narrowed his eyes, thinking. “Nope, not happening soon, I think.”

“Good. Don’t do it.”

“Why?”

“I told you, I don’t trust that guy.”

White laughed. “What’s trust got to do with sex?”

Black gave him a dirty look. “Tell me one time you slept with someone and didn't develop feelings.”

He couldn’t really answer that so White shrugged. “Who knows if it’ll be different this time?”

“If it stays the same then you’d better not cross the line with that asshole.”

White usually listens to whatever Black says. His hunch was almost always right. That had saved them a dozen times during missions. But there are exceptions to everything. Secretly, White was hoping he was wrong this time. Sean was just far too attractive and interesting to be left alone. Maybe not to a serious extent, but he’s looking forward to more dates to come if Sean felt the same towards him.

…

Notes:

Folks have fun before it gets confusing from now on
Idk if I can write this well cuz it became heavier than I expected
Hope y'all still can enjoy it
Thanks a bunch for reading~

Chapter 6: 5th Hour: The actual him

Notes:

I'm glad y'all like the deep talk last ch
Let's have a less fun chapter now hehe

Sean groaned as he tossed and turned in his bed. Eventually, he got up with a big huff. He was far too tired for anything else but his body had needs to be fulfilled: hunger. So he threw on his pants back on and exited his small studio room. It’s a quarter to midnight. What’s open at this hour?

As he walked down the stairs, he’s suddenly reminded of that one night, when White crashed into him. As pissed as he was, he clearly remembered how pretty that man was. That started what they’re having now. Well, no more than simply in the talking stage, actually. But enough to make him miss White.

He had not had the chance to go see him today since Gumpa’s friend brought his gang to the shop. Sean ate lunch at 2 and then nothing since.

Unknowingly, his feet had brought him to the front of ‘12/21’, the diner. He missed that man’s cooking and… plainly his presence. Honestly, Sean didn’t know that in his thirties, he could go through this again. The racing of heartbeat. Sweaty palms as they walked side by side. Hesitation when saying good night to each other. It’s hard to contain these newly discovered feelings.

In this dangerous town, full of criminals and fucked up people, Sean found someone to spend a fine afternoon with like in a romantic-comedy movie. He had no idea if it’s more wonderful or laughable. Because clearly, he’s ignoring all the red flags of White, the man that wouldn’t even tell him his real name.

The man that, when night came, looks at Sean like he’s a dog shit left on the road by an irresponsible dog owner.

“What do you want?”

It’s the same face, alright. But Sean’s urge to kick him was indescribable. “Isn’t this a restaurant? What else would people do here if not eating?”

‘Black’ scoffed. “You tell me.”

“Not to see you for sure.”

It’s a lie, but the truth at the same time. Do you count people with multiple personality disorder as the same person or a separate one based on their persona? Because if liking White meant he had to like Black as well, Sean would rather hang himself.

Black looked unimpressed, but since Sean wasn’t leaving, he turned on the stove lazily. “Sit anywhere.”

Honestly, Sean lost his appetite the moment he stepped in. But he’s also dying to know what would happen if he stayed. So he sat at his usual spot at the bar seat. Black glared daggers at him for that, like Sean was invading his personal space. Which was infuriating, because White never gave him that look.

Soon, Black started cooking and ignored him completely. Weird. He was not used to that small back going on about his business without talking to Sean. Yet it’s another wonder that he watched it, without the intensity to hug that thin waist. One, because he doesn’t want a blackeye. Two, that’s just… skin-crawling.

Why?

Sean frowned upon the realization. How could he feel so different with the same face and same body, just a different name and personality? Then he remembered having a theory about the two, Black and White, whether sharing the same memory or not. Well, there’s just one way to find out.

“Black,”

No answer.

“Black,” he tried again.

Then the man froze. A pause before he answered, without turning around. “What?”

“Why didn’t you answer my text?”

“I’m busy.”

“What were you up to?”

“None of your business.”

Oh, lord . Is it a sin to punch your crush in the face?

Black’s hand started moving again, pounding something with mortar and pestle. Clearly unwelcoming of conversation. But Sean isn’t one to back down easily.

“Remember that picture I took of you?”

He clicked his tongue, “What about it?”

“Do you still want me to delete it? Or can I keep it?”

“Do whatever the fuck you want.”

Sean raised his brows. Not that White never swore, but not in the way Black does. Not with so much venom in his mouth.

“But if you jerk off to it, I hope your dick rots.”

“I’d rather jump off a building.” Black snorted. The discussion ended. So Sean tried again. “Hey, are you free tomorrow?”

“...Depends on why.”

“Let’s go out again. I found another place to eat.”

“Nah, you suck at choosing places.”

This jerk…

“But you like it. It’s an eye-opening experience, isn’t it?”

The smaller man scoffed as he began stir-frying some meat with the chili paste he pounded earlier. “Doesn’t mean you don’t suck.”

“Then where do you wanna go? Choose. I’ll pick you up.”

“I’m not free tomorrow.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t come.”

“That’s not what you said just now.”

“I changed my mind. I’ll be busy, don’t come.”

“Are you really that busy?”

“Yeah.”

It’s not the rejection. Sean understands everyone has their circumstances and priorities. He also gets that they don’t have to explain why. But it’s the lack of interest that made his heart sink. Black knew everything between Sean and White. But he didn’t think twice before turning him down, like he didn’t even enjoy their little date together. Like he’s never actually mesmerized when he looks at Sean. Like he was faking it all this time.

Then it hit Sean. Could Black be the honest version of White? Could this be the actual him? And White is just his innocent and dreamier replicated self? Then is it wrong for Sean to take a liking on the man that might not even  be real?

The food was served while he’s spacing out. The gai pad prik gaeng had a vibrant color and alluring smell. But Sean didn’t feel like eating anymore.

“Eat up and leave.”

Then Black never looked his way anymore. Sean came down here in the dead of the night to satisfy his hunger. And to ease his heart from missing White. He wouldn’t be getting the latter for sure. Maybe he should just focus on the former then.

He picked up his fork and stabbed a piece of bouncy chicken meat lathered in red curry paste. It was piping hot and looked extremely good. So he popped it in his mouth after blowing it. Only to utterly regret it promptly.

There’s nothing but pain in that plate of stir-fried chicken. He only tasted spiciness that burnt his tongue and saltiness like a splash of ocean on his face. The urge to stand up, flip the plate, and make a fuss right then was strong. Because what kind of restaurant serves their customers inedible things like this??

“What?” Black asked with a smirk, before he even started. “Can’t handle it? You can leave. I won’t charge you.” He walked away with another plate of the same dish and served it to a girl sitting near the window.

The girl cheered excitedly as Black sat with her. Sean’s frown deepened. He recognized her. Miss Gene, the dance teacher of the neighborhood’s only dance studio. One of the sweetest people he knew - aside from White.

By now, Sean understands that Black is a total menace. But to think that he’d let the teacher experience the same pain as Sean was just pure evil.

But little did he know… Miss Gene’s eyes lit up upon tasting the food. She purred happily. Took another piece and scooped some rice with it. Black rested his chin on his hand. Just sitting there, watching her eat with endearment. Just like the way White always does to Sean. But now he’s just an outsider. Inexistent for that man. Invisible in the presence of the dance teacher.

That night, Sean went back gaining nothing. Stomach empty. Heart hollow. He felt only numbness on his tongue and jealousy that came in the form of small fire sparks, slowly burning him away.

…

“Sean hasn’t been around lately.”

It’s 8 a.m. Black was getting ready to sleep as White took a shirt to fold from the pile of clean clothes. “Huh, really?”

“I wonder if something happened.”

“You said you still see him in his shop.”

“Well, yeah. But he doesn’t come to find me. Not even a text.”

Black knew why. Oh, he knew too well. “Maybe he got bored.”

White paused, clutching onto a black shirt. “He doesn’t seem the type to play around.”

“Who knows? You’ve known him for no more than a month,” scoffed him. “Besides, you’re the one inviting him to play games.”

“...It’s not that kind of game.”

“It is that kind of game.”

Black and White don’t have secrets. They always tell each other things. Maybe not all trivial matters, but nearly all of what they went through each day. It’s important now that they are living in each other’s shadow. So they could keep updated and cover for another when they meet people outside.

Yet Black’s keeping this for himself. He’ll never admit he’s sorry this time round. It was very much his intention to chase Sean away from White. He doesn’t trust Sean. There’s his credibility as a person. But also his determination. Not that Black worries of its insufficiency. But it would be a problem instead if his feelings were too strong.

White is the only one left of them . Black will protect him at all cost, even if that resulted in him getting hated.

“Forget it, White. It’s good that he stops before he knows too much.”

…

Notes:

I love Black even if people might hate him
Not justifying his actions but he has his reasons I promise

Chapter 7: 6th Hour: The White he likes

Notes:

I'm dying y'all have high expectation on White!
But like Sean he is a pathetic loser in love
sorry not sorry omgg

It’s break time. White spun the key to lock the door before walking away from his shop. It’s the fifth day already (he counted ) without Sean popping up here to take him out on some mini adventure that lasted 2 hours. Weird, how he doesn’t know what to do by himself anymore. The day that usually felt shorter than it already is now unbelievably long.

He missed Sean. There, he admitted it. Black would strangle him - or Sean, if he still loves his brother - had he said it out loud.

He missed him, but White was not supposed to get involved with him too much. So he didn’t text or call unless Sean initiates it. God knows how much he wanted to reach out first. But he pretended he didn't, thinking this feeling would go away as time went by.

He went about his day then, like nothing’s wrong until it all went wrong.

From the opposite direction, White saw a tall figure. Tall, and handsome as all hell let loose. His feet were rooted to the ground. Just waiting for that man to come closer and notice him.

After what felt like an eternity, Sean finally looked his way. But instead of glinting with excitement, White only saw indifference in those onyx eyes. Indifference. That’s an emotion he never got from Sean. From the first day their eyes landed on each other, there was a wide variety of emotions - curiosity, annoyance, joy, attraction - but never something flat.

It hit him like a whiplash when Sean decided to look away and made a turn into the building.

“Sean…!” the word escaped his mouth before White knew what’s going on.

At least it made the said man halt on his tracks. He slowly turned to White, keeping his expression firm. “What?”

Cold. Nothing but coldness in his voice. “I haven’t seen you around. What are you up to recently?” White tried to smile.

“...Nothing much.”

“Are you busy? Is Gumpa not around to help in the shop?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“Oh, that must be tough...”

Sean only nodded. White swallowed, smile fading. He never asked his customers to come back or made efforts for them to stay. If he wants it, they will, they always do. White didn’t know how to get Sean back.

Then he caught the plastic bag in Sean’s hand. A take-out from some nearby restaurant. “I guess you got bored of my food, huh?” He chuckled, tasting tears in the back of his throat when it’s supposed to be a harmless teasing. “That’s cool though.”

Sean frowned upon his words. He looked down to the bag, but White decided to make a run for it before he could say anything.  Even if it’s obvious, even if it’s right there in front of him, he didn’t want to hear it from Sean’s mouth.

Yet it triggered something in Sean. He grabbed White’s arm and yanked him back. “White! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Wha-?”

“You don’t get to do this to me!”

“Do… what?”

“You don’t get to play with my feelings, you know?”

Sean’s eyes were bloodshot in anger. The grip on his arm was leaving marks for sure. White wasn’t made to be a wimp. He had been in much tougher situations. But there he was, heart beating fast with fear. It might be crazy but somehow, even if the world hates him, he doesn’t want Sean to hate him as well.

“I’m sorry…” he blurted, not even knowing about what. “What can I do to fix it?”

That only fueled Sean’s wrath. “Fix what? You’re the one who told me not to come.”

“I never-”

“White,” Sean cut him. “I don’t know which is the real you. Is it Black? Or is it you, who’s in front of me now? But one thing for sure, you know my feelings. And I thought we’re on the same page all along…” He took a deep breath, letting go of White. “Yet that night you made it clear to me. That’s not the case. So let’s end this here.”

White raised his brows. The mention of Black hit him with realization. Something happened for sure, in the night time, where he couldn’t go anywhere. And Black, his brother, lied to him.

“No, Sean! It’s not like that!” he reached out in return.

“Enough! We’re not kids anymore. I get the signals, White. So I’m not gonna waste my time playing your game.”

White’s hand was left hanging in the air. He watched Sean’s retreating back, heard his heart cracking but could do nothing about it. Because who is he? Who is he, to have the leisure in chasing these intangible feelings that might fleet away soon? Compared to that, he should have much more important things to do…

“Stop there, asshole!”

A hoarse voice pierced the air, causing both Sean and White to whip their heads toward it. The street was crowded with a gang chasing one single man running for his life, shouts and curses thrown out. White quickly assessed the situation when he saw long knives on each of their hands. To his surprise, however, Sean was quicker.

White looked down to an arm in front of his chest, pushing him further back onto the pavement. He followed the arm up to Sean’s face, laced with alarm. It might be inappropriate at the moment, but White’s heart beat a tad faster, completely smitten. Why can someone be so cruel yet so caringly attractive the next second?

The man being chased collapsed, followed by screams of pain. Blood splashed where his back received a slash. Once he’s on the ground, everyone surrounded him and mercilessly attacked. With the sharp object, fist, feet, whatever they could use as weapons.

At first there were screams, grunts, and broken sentences begging to stop. Slowly, it faded. They’re beating him to death. One of the worst possible ways to die.

Sean flinched slightly, yet faithfully shielding White despite the horror on his face. If he didn’t before, now he’d believe Sean when he said the city is basically the Gotham City of Thailand. White knows - that’s what his mission is all about - but witnessing the brutal crime in person always hits differently. It never makes sense to him. How can one so easily inflict pain on another, without remorse, for their own benefit. Life became so cheap and fragile… Do humans not find life precious anymore?

White had no idea what sin that man could have, that he deserved such suffering, but it pained White. To see a life gone wasted just like that. A life that many yearned for but aren’t meant to have. He knows not to get in the way of nature selection. Not to gain the public's attention. Not to defy his brother’s order. But it pained White to do nothing.

White clutched onto Sean’s jacket sleeve. He pulled him and stepped backwards, hiding them both in an alleyway. When he’s sure they’re not in sight, White whispered, “Act as a thief.”

“What?”

“Please…!” He took off his sling bag in a hurry and shoved it onto Sean’s hand. “Go run there! We have no time!”

“White-”

“Hurry!” Sean’s frown was incredibly hot even though it’s not the time for that. He’s visibly lost yet getting into the stance to run at White’s urge. The smaller man took a deep breath, then shouted at the top of his lungs. “Stop there, you punk!” He paused, mouthed, “Run!”

Sean took off after a heavy sigh. “You owe me this.”

“I said stop!”

Sean reached the end of the alley, so White started running as well. He hesitated only for a millisecond before pulling out a gun, firing it in the air once. Sean jolted at that, and was about to turn around. So White shouted again to keep him running.

Oh, no.

“Quit running!” And he fired another one.

Oh, shit. Now he’s done it.

A small commotion arose. Metals clinked against the asphalt ground as knives were abandoned. Hasty footsteps occurred along with exclamations like, “Police!”, “Let’s go!” and “Leave him!”

White ran out of hiding then. Only Sean and the wounded man were left there. He spared no time to check the barely conscious man. Sean pulled out his phone to dial the emergency number without being asked. Their eyes met in the process and White nodded gratefully.

The plan worked indeed, even if it meant White doing something irreplaceable. He was pulling crazy stunts, and he couldn’t guess how long Sean would put up with it. But he crouched down across White the next second, asking, “Now what?” genuinely. And something about that secured him in White’s heart. Something for future White to worry and dwell on.

The wounded man was in a critical condition. He had many deep and open wounds. Lost way too much blood that his whole body jolted at the shock.

“We… We need to stop the bleeding first.” White said, voice shaky. He took off his outer shirt and ripped it apart, deciding to start from the big slash at the back.

He has had medical training before, but far from a professional one. Cruel as it is, it might be easier to give the man a mercy killing then fight to save his life. Black would opt for the former, but there’s a reason he is White and not Black.

…

Who is White?

Sean closed the fridge. The same question spun in his head for the umpteenth time. He walked over to the man in question, sitting docilely on the dirty couch of his tiny room. “Water?”

White slowly turned, accepting the cold bottle in silence. A moment passed and he did nothing with it. Losing his patience, Sean snatched it back, opened the cap before shoving it back to White.

“Drink. You’re pale as a ghost.”

Still looking dazed ever since he set foot in Sean’s, White did as told. Obediently, without his usual sass. It was hilarious, and honestly, kind of adorable. But it was unlike White. Not the White he likes.

Sean paused. Who is the White that he likes anyway?

He should’ve known, actually. The consequence of playing with fire. The hints were glaringly obvious. The sudden rich new tenant, shady restaurant, man with mysterious double personality. Nothing about White is normal. Then he saw things today, one that he could no longer turn a blind eye on. Firearms. Skilled medical practice. Terrifying calmness and quick solution-finding in a dire situation. This man was trained. For what and about what… Sean couldn’t tell. Sean didn’t know if he wanted to find out.

Had this encounter happened ten years ago, Sean would bite down and not let go until he knew the truth. Not now. He’d lost too much. His loved ones had gone through too much to pay for his actions.

But then, White made his heart skip a beat, two, and more. He felt alive again after being a walking dead meat for years. White, with eyes brimming with hope, firm and gentle hands that cooked the most delicious meal, that fired guns to save a life that’s hardly worth saving. The man was a drug addict that nearly sold his daughter off and had stolen some stock, which resulted in a thorough beating. White didn’t care about all that. Because he didn’t regret saving him even after hearing the truth.

…That’s the White he fell in love with.

Who’d have guessed, the first time he had him over his place is under this circumstance. When they just had an argument, got roped into a gang’s fight, exhausted and covered in blood.

Sean got up from his seat. “Go wash up. I’ll get you a change of clothes.”

White’s unfocused eyes grew big. “Oh, no, I’m good.”

The taller of the two raised his brow.

“It’s… fine. I don’t want to trouble you…”

“Really? After all that you made me do? Don’t be ridiculous. Come, get up now.”

White did get up but he inched away from Sean. “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry for dragging you into all that.”

“How’d it come to that?” Sean advanced, just for White to step back. “That’s not what I was saying. If I wanted to leave, I would have!”

“You should have. While you had the chance to…”

Sean widened his eyes. Never had he been this offended before. He closed in, grabbing  White at the back of neck to prevent an escape. “How could you say that? I stayed, because of you. You wanted me to. And don’t fucking pretend like you don’t.”

They’re close, so close. White could probably hear his heart beating harshly against his ribcage. He could see the tears welling in White’s eyes. It melted Sean’s rage, loosened his grip that had definitely left a mark.

“You were the one who wanted to leave.”

“I was waiting for you to stop me.”

“I…” His voice came out a soft sob. “I can’t do that.”

“Why? Why not?”

White couldn’t answer that. But those eyes - always them - the glimmer gave Sean hope, making his chest tight.

“I know you want me, the way I want you… I  can give it all to you. You just have to tell me.”

White chose to fall into Sean’s embrace instead of letting his tears flow. “But I’m afraid… I can’t give you all of me the way you do.”

“Then give me all that you can. I’ll take it, as long as you stay by my side.”

Foolish choice, maybe. Pathetic, even. If he looks back to today when another ten years go by, he might be throwing curses at himself. But at this moment at least, Sean thought the deal was worth it. For, all stars seemed to align perfectly, the puzzle seemed to fit smoothly, the universe seemed to rejoice with him when he circled his arm around White, bringing them into a tight hug.

…

It was as though a fever dream if White recalls that day. The echo of the door slamming against thin bedroom walls. Loud creaking of the steel bed frame. Stench of blood mixed with the smell of cigarette and motor oil. A kiss so intoxicating it blurred everything else that happened before.

It was vague and crystal clear at the same time. A hand caressed his back, roaming all over his body. His skin burned everywhere it touched, reminding him of his beating heart, and that he’s still a hot-blooded creature with blazing passion.

White returned the favor. Running his tongue. Arching his back. Whisper-moaning Sean’s name.

He might regret it later. He might have to pay the consequences for giving in to his desires. For doing exactly what Black warned him against. But Sean is Sean. Sean is the man that ran to him despite seeing the danger he posed.

Black is mostly always right. Yet he was wrong about one thing. He got it the other way around. White only ever sleeps with people he developed feelings for. And this time round, he fears that he is falling a tad too deep.

…

Notes:

A/N: I can't flippin' write graphic porn but I need y'all to know they have sex. So please, by all means, work your creative minds. Thank you very much.

Random rant:
Weird how my old coworkers that resigned together w me are going back to that hellish job one after another
I can't help getting swayed, like should I too??
But then I love my life now
I have tons of time to write and watch many shows
Maybe I shouldn't think about it too much

Chapter 8: 7th Hour: I'm Black

Notes:

Disclaimer: Minim research was done in the process of writing this fic so please just let slide whatever sounds weird to you

I got preoccupied by other OffGun fics and I can't wait to publish them
but then I remember this is still half-done
So I'm back y'all

‘Black’ hates that man with a passion, but the name he made sure was convenient. “I’m Black.”

Gram’s smile bloomed. He can light up the whole town and catch your falling heart. Whether he decides to give it back or crush it into million pieces, you hold no choice in it. Luckily, Black had lost his heart in the deep sea of grief and wrath long ago.

“That’s it. Gotta go.”

“Wha-Wait, wait!” The blonde man panicked as Black slipped away from him. “Is that all I got? Just your name?”

Just my name. The very name that Black accepted like the hardest pill to swallow. The very name that he knew Gram would go around and brag about getting. “I can take it back if you don’t want it.”

“H-How?” Gram asked with his confused-puppy look.

“I’ll bash your head in until you forget.” He said, began cracking his knuckles.

Instead of cowering in fear like most people do, Gram chuckled, eyes crinkled into crescent shape and all. That caught Black off guard, but then not really. He was aware of those charming eyes watching him on every visit. Gram is an open book and his crush on Black is on the bookmarked page. Some days, the attention is ego-boosting. Some other, though, the affection is intense and irritating. Black messed up his drink a few times in hope of chasing him away, yet every attempt was futile.

Gram has mentality as strong as a bull. Body built to fight a bear or two. Heart loving and fierce like a mother hen. A type Black had never been attracted to, but won’t say no to. He is not-bad-looking, after all, but he never did more than staring at Black at the bar. What a loser.

Though, he had his chance yesterday. When a bunch of drunkards who don’t know their places decided to mess with Black. They came in, demanding food at 2 a.m. Black didn’t bother sparing a glance as he informed them that he’s out of business. Then those shitheads picked a fight, starting from smashing the porcelain White is obsessed with. That’s when Black decided to give them hell. It got too out of hand and Gram, who’s passing by, came to the rescue. Black might have accidentally killed one or two of them had he not stepped in.

Since then, Gram gained a baseless confidence to approach Black. Thinking he had saved the other from a pinch. Such a naive guy. But definitely not innocent. Black is a man just like how Gram is. He knows what the guy would eventually want by following him around like an oversized puppy. The question is: Would he humor him?

Black thought about it sometimes, while pouring a glass of martini, or scrubbing some stubborn stain on a pan. Every time he came to the same conclusion. He better not. Types like Gram might catch feelings. Might get way too attached. Might be hard to get rid.

So he let him stick around, but gave no shrink of hope. Thinking that someday, when Gram gets tired of trying, he’d give up on his own. Only then, would he stop expecting the blonde guy at the middle of the bar seat, pretty double-lidded eyes staring into his soul.

Although, that very day seems to have yet to come.

“Black,” said the guy, grinning stupidly from ear-to-ear.

“What?”

“Do you like bikes?”

He doesn’t hate or like it. It’s just a vehicle, which is shiny, neat and convenient. “I have one.”

“Really? What kind?”

“Just regular one,” shrugged him.

Unaltered, Gram chuckled, “I’d really like to see you ride it.”

“Why?”

Black had not really thought about where he’s going. He simply wanted to shake off Gram, who he met on the way home. Yet they now ended up strolling around on the street, under shitty night lights that barely help the pedestrians.

“You must look really cool. And… cute.”

“Huh?!”

Gram and his dumb bravado continued. “Take it to my garage sometime, Black. I’ll give you discount.”

“Don’t need it.”

“Aww, why not?”

“It’s working just fine.”

“But you need to have it checked every once in a while. Just like a human's body. If human is not well, they seek doctor’s advice. So bikes need to be taken care of as well.”

Black snorted. “Are you calling yourself a bike doctor then?”

It was stupid and worth nothing, but such a small remark from Black was enough to earn Gram’s laughter. “No one has ever called me that, but I like it! I’m a bike doctor now. At least I’m a doctor, I don’t disappoint my parents.”

And Gram’s laugh was contagious. Black brought a cigarette to his mouth to stop it. “Isn’t the garage your dad’s? He doesn’t want you there?”

“Well,” Gram sighed. “I don’t think that’s the case. You know, parents are always happy to have us around them. But he wanted me to have higher education and get a stable, high-paying job. That’s why he put me in law school.”

Oh?

“You were in law school.”

“Yeah! Not to brag, but I was one of the top students too! Debate me whenever, I’m ready for it!”

That sounds pretty hot if Black is honest.

“If you’re so good, why the fuck are you here now?” Black blew out some smoke, noticing the huge shadow towering over him disappeared. He looked back to find Gram halting. He wasn’t smiling like a fool anymore, replaced with a blank expression.

…Was that the taboo question?

“Forget it, I don’t want to know.”

Black was about to turn around and kept walking, but Gram caught his wrist. “But, I want to tell you. Will you listen?”

He might be exhausted after scouting all night long, or he could blame it on the nicotine high. Black didn’t flinch, much less fighting the grab on his pulse point. The touch was firm yet gentle, soothing and unsettling at the same time. Black couldn’t put it into words what that made him feel. He didn’t respond either. Gram talked away while he silently smoked, matching his pace as they walked aimlessly for the remaining hours, until the sun rose.

Gram told him briefly about his school days, the good and the bad. His passion led him to join a protest, setting him a criminal record that eventually disconnected him from the world. About him breaking his parents’ heart before they reconciled. About his slowly accepting himself and feeling alive again. Nowadays, he’s active as volunteer in his free time, helping out at orphanages, retirement homes and animal shelters.

Black listened. Black doesn’t like to talk so he listens instead. Gram lives a completely different life with him but the universe allowed an intersection where they met. It was a mystery as to why. But that night, Black found that he doesn’t hate being around him and listening to more of his mundane stories.

…

“Do you know Gram?”

“Which Gram?”

No answer. White turned around while buttoning up his shirt. Black was just lying there, staring blankly at the ceiling, reconsidering whether to bring this up or not. So it piqued his brother’s interest, alright.

“What? What is this? Someone you like?”

Black snorted. “Not even close.”

But White’s Blackpedia told him the exact opposite. He walked over to him. “Reaaally? What about Kru Gene then?”

“It’s got nothing to do with her.”

“And Todd?”

“What about that fucker?”

“So who’s this guy~?” Black turned to his side, showing his back to White. It only encouraged the other to advance. “Ohh~ hiding something, aren’t you?” He teased, climbing up the bed.

“Piss off,” but it wasn’t venomous one bit.

“Tell me, c’mon.”

He pretended to sleep. Yet nosy is his brother’s middle name - if they have any. White crawled closer, resting his chin on Black’s shoulder. His pungent-smelling perfume that Black hated is now all over him. He scrunched up his nose. “Fuck, get off me!”

White only giggled, circling his arms around Black instead. “We are posing as each other. We should smell the same.”

“Nah, I don’t need to spread pheromones to attract some tattooist fucker.”

“Hey, I’m not trying to do that!”

The struggle soon turned into a wrestle. Black kept trying to break free but White’s headlock was getting better and he only got himself to blame. He’d fight it more but after the whole night of scouting that continued to hours-long walk, Black had zero energy left. So he opened up at last, because if not for White, who else there is?

“You know, your dude.”

“Sean.”

“Yeah, him.”

“What about him?” Asked White earnestly. His fluffy hair a mess and shirt wrinkled now. Black let himself fall on the bed, followed by White next to him.

“He went to law school… dropped out in 2021 at xxx University.”

White blinked quietly.

“Didn’t he?”

“Yes.”

Black huffed. He always needs a smoke during heavy conversation. But he’s too tired to get up and grab some. “So they are comrades, after all.”

“Who?”

“Him and Gram.”

White widened his eyes behind the round spectacle. He knew what’s up. He looked up everything possible about Sean and like a fool, fell head over heels through his criminal case files.

“Oh, that Gram!” White exclaimed. “Giant puppy guy with shiny eyes and gorgeous smile.”

That is so well-described it pissed Black off somehow. “You’ve met him?”

“No, not in person. Not yet. Sean said he wants me to meet his friends someday, though.”

Black simply hummed.

“Why? Wait, are you looking up people around Sean? What for?? I told you he is green.”

“I’d say yellow. Both Sean and Gram.”

“Did you find something?”

He shrugged. “The dude’s been hanging around lately. Worse, he started following me around like some fish shit. It just had me wondering. Two of them. 2021 protest. Crime records.”

The tension in White’s body was obvious. He had been on cloud nine recently. As infuriating as it is, Black knew why and the only reason he had not burst his brother’s bubble yet is this. They are yellow. Not red, but not green either. They’re yellow in the sense that they may not be helpless civilians. They could be allies or enemies or generally a massive pain in critical situations.

A blare of alarm broke the silence. Black exhaled, surprisingly in a relief. “I need to sleep. Go to work now. We’ll talk about this later.”

White remained in his spot, though Black had once again turned his back and covered his face with a pillow. Then he waited, until he felt a shift in the bed and White’s footsteps reached the front door. Only then could he slowly force himself into slumber.

White is the only one left of them . Black would protect him at all costs. But even messing with the tattooist’ heart wasn’t enough to keep them apart. He should come up with something else. Quick. Before it’s too late. Before White becomes one of the ghosts of the past, haunting him forever.

…

Once in a while, those images come back to him. Like a monster lurking in the night, following his every step, edging him to jump off the cliff. ‘Black’ thought he would always fight it to death rather than run. But the monster grew bigger and stronger each passing second, dragging him back to that incident in his moment of weakness. To the beginning of his nightmare, way before he is ‘Black’.

The manor was burned down to ashes. He ignited the flame himself. His sorry excuse of a father went down with it, along with the rest of his lunatic brothers. ‘White’ was in deep grief, he mourned their death like there could be another way. Like there exists a miracle somewhere that they could all live together happily. He is a naive brat right from the start. The most sensitive but the smartest, despite ‘Black’ continuously addressing him as an idiot.

At the beginning, there was no Black and White. Only Thanwa Pothiyakorn.

The father of Thanwa was a man named Adul Pothiyakorn, a politician in the peak of his career. He’s running for an election that looked promising for him. Then despicable people, blinded with envy, arranged a car crash that seemed accidental. He miraculously survived, yet the incident took away his loved ones. The wife passed away on the spot and the only son ended up in a vegetative condition for the rest of his life.

Adul was plunged into depression. He lost his will to do anything until one day. He encountered a facility that motivated him to stand back up and work on his career again. It was horrifying, the extent he went through in order to win the election. That victory came with a hidden intention after all.

Adul built a mysterious lab underneath his mansion. His unconscious son was transferred down there along with some doctors of questionable backgrounds. Months and years went by. Until one dawn, when ‘Black’ opened his eyes for the first time.

He was 1 day-old in the body of an 18 years-old. Then he grasped it soon enough, that he wasn’t alone.

“I was the 12th.”

“Wait,” Todd intercepted. “You’re telling me you’re… you are cloned? From Thanwa? Like in those crazy sci-fi movies?”

He gets the mocking tone. Doesn’t mean he wanted to kick his ass less. “You’re kidnapped by human traffickers from a rural village in China, like in movies too. Speak for yourself.”

Todd snorted. Rubbing salt in each other’s wounds is their only way to communicate. But at that point, Todd only half-believed his extravagant story. Thinking ‘Black’ was messing with him and ‘White’ was determined in backing up his prank. Then on a mission one day, where they came across a facility that does illegal experiments on human beings. White broke down as they encountered a file named “Project Thanwa P.”

Black’s nightmare came back. The monster engulfed his heart. He smelled the antiseptic in white rooms again. The stench of blood. Burnt flesh. White’s crying. To make it all stop, Black had to erase the cause. Just like that day in the Pothiyakorn Manor.

There were 22 of them. The ‘subjects’, Adul called them. Not even addressing them as his sons. Because he didn’t want an army of sons. He only wanted one. And surprisingly or not, he didn’t even want a copy of the real Thanwa. He wanted a puppet that he can control and will listen to everything he says. The ideal and perfect Thanwa Pothiyakorn.

‘White’, the 21st subject or T-021, found out about this. Also about the fact that they’re all raised together, learn together and do a lot of physical practices together was a way to train and evaluate them. To find the best Thanwa and get rid of the rest.

It was earth-shattering news. But no one doubted White. He was the most earnest and trustworthy of them. By telling their ‘blood-brothers’ about his findings, White was hoping they could all work together and escape from the manor. Little did he know how human they all have become. Vile and pretentious.

It started from T-008. He tried to attack his bedmate T-007 in his sleep with a dagger knife. Which was a grave sin. It caused a riot that same night. Soon enough, it was clear that nearly everyone had the same intention. Instead of escaping and living an uncertain life outside as ‘monsters’, they all wanted to be the one and only Thanwa.

It never crosses Black’s mind to hurt his own brothers for such intention. But he is a realist. He knows what will happen if he doesn't  fight back. So he picked up his weapon and slayed whoever coming his way. While White, he couldn’t accept what’s going on. Black doubts he’d ever do.

Black had to fight for both him and White’s sake.

“So you killed your brothers?”

“They are no longer my brothers the moment they think of annihilating the other.”

“And your father?”

“...That asshole is never a father to begin with.”

Todd poured him another glass of liquor. “And you set it all on fire?”

Black snatched the cigarette from Todd’s mouth. It was the last one and Todd didn’t agree on sharing, but he didn’t complain. “That place was a living hell. I had to make sure nothing could be recovered from it again. Only then the suffering would end.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I did.”

“But?”

“Not anymore.” He lied down, handing back the roll of nicotine. “When we found that other facility, I realized that Adul had some kind of backup. Of course he did. So burning down a lab or two doesn’t actually solve the problem.”

Todd chuckled. “Don’t tell me you’re going to burn them all down now.”

Maybe it sounds crazy, but Black had never been on the sane side anyway. He smirked, “That’s just the start.”

Black told Todd everything back then. When they were young, dumb and trusted easily. But rather than trust, it’s more accurate to say they’re each other’s punching bag. A place for emotional dumping. He needed to be strong for White, so shitty stuff like this is for their partner, Todd.

With Todd then, Black dozed off without putting his guard up. When he stretched his sore arms with a groan, a big jacket with the embroidery letter ‘T’ fell off his shoulder. He huffed and went back to sleep. This time, the monster was generous enough to not visit him in his dream.

…

Notes:

When I said Black opened my mind about polyamorous relationship-
Lmao but I won't delve into it too much
This is still a SeanWhite fic I swear
...or should I?

Anyway what do y'all think about this chapter?

Chapter 9: 8th Hour: Delicious food

Black has only three returning customers.

First one, he gives everything nice to. Used the best ingredients, cooked with attention and served with adoration. The customer loyally comes, everytime with a smile. She is Eugene, the dance teacher from three blocks ahead.

Second, he follows his mood. Some days, they’re bad as all hell let loose. Some other, he accidentally made them great. No matter how unpredictable he can be, the customer never fails to come back. He is Gram, the son of the repair shop.

Third, he cooks with literal poison. He’d put in the most vile thing he had. It wouldn’t kill the guy that comes once in a while, but never eats anything. He is Todd, the old acquaintance that’s hard to drive away.

12/21 is a facade, of course. The brothers’ goal wasn’t to actually rake up business. Returning customers were unnecessary - unwanted, even. But life is life. Sometimes a cute girl comes by, or a hot guy, stunning lady, et cetera. They made advances which neither White nor Black would entirely resist. So they made them come back through the traditional way: their belly.

It’s common for Black to have several persistent guests, even when he isn’t exactly welcoming. White thinks he is just being denial. Because they must have sensed something, a sort of twisted affection from Black that kept them pinned to him. White knows.

White knows, but he can not relate. His heart only has enough room for one person at a time.

“This tastes normal.”

“What?”

“The coffee. It tastes good, like usual”

“Thanks?”

“I mean,” Sean looked down at his americano. “I ate here the night before. It was horrible."

White tensed. Oh, yeah, he’d completely forgotten about that.

After that day, White went home to confront his brother. They had a physical fight that White lost in 5 minutes. Because he doesn’t truly want to fight Black. He knew what Black was trying to do. He’d long acknowledged that Black is unable to show his love the conventional way. So he promised him that same night - crossing fingers - that he would not be serious with Sean. And… that he’d pull the trigger himself should Sean pose a threat one day.

Ding!

The oven’s light went out. White picked up a glove. “I’m making creme brulee. Do you like sweets?”

“Nah,”

“Wanna try some, though?”

“I’d pass. My dad was diabetic and if I am too, I can’t afford insulin in this economy.”

White laughed out loud. “That’s not how you should respond.” He moved one cup from the baking tray onto a saucer. “You should say, ‘I don’t like sweets but I’ll eat anything you make.”

Sean snorted, leaning closer on the counter. “I won’t risk having to eat something like that plate of satan’s flame again.”

That was uncalled for! Extremely unfair! White will never serve that to Sean. The pout forming on his face was uncontrollable, but he could only swallow his complaint down his throat. “Well, I know a certain someone that’d happily risk it.”

It earned a raise of brow. “Who?”

White shrugged. “You might know them very well. Who knows?”

Sean got quiet for a moment. White lip-synced along with Come and Get Your Love as he poured caster sugar on the cup of creme brulee. Yes, they might have crossed the line, but White never announced the game was over. He held back from looking up to Sean’s expression - driven with jealousy, surely. He fought the urge to giggle.

“That someone,” The other man started, at last. “Are they yours or Black’s?”

“Huh?”

“You heard me. Answer me.”

White narrowed his eyes, putting down the pack of sugar. “What’s the difference?”

“It’s different. If it’s Black’s, then I don’t give a fuck.” He smirked. “If it’s yours, there should be no one but me.”

White blinked. He is a professional. He shouldn’t be taken aback by taunts like that. But, oh, what poison love is to the cerebrum. “I don’t get it,” was all he had for a comeback.

Sean scoffed. “Yeah, pretend.” He pulled out a card from his jacket pocket. “Where can I file a complaint, Sir? The owner isn’t playing fair. I should’ve gotten a stamp here already.”

The loyalty card White gave him before had filled up to 3. If he got to 4, White had to reward him something. He didn’t want it to get to 4 yet. The three before were nothing significant. Sean found out that the dishwasher behind the counter is actually remodeled into a mini fridge. White had five kinds of perfume that he wore with a fixed, but complicated pattern. The third was that every Thursday is vegetarian day, where White replaced everything with plant-based products. White feared the fourth to be something big. He was not ready to confirm the truth that Sean might have guessed right.

At the silence, Sean bent over the counter. Spoke right next to White’s ear, sending chills down the spine. “Didn’t you say it yourself? Gotta be honest. It’s not exciting if you aren’t.” Then he bit his earlobe slightly.

“Ai’Sean…!” White picked up a blow torch, threatening. “Don’t mess with me, I’m armed!”

The taller man backed away, whistled gleefully. “Small but feisty, aren’t you? I like it, though.”

Red smeared across White’s face. Flirting is fun but then not so much when he’s on the receiving end. He flamed the dessert he just baked intently. Hiding blushes behind the heat, watching the sugar melt like how his heart did.

“What do you say? Tell me, White.”

“What?”

“Is it Black’s? Or yours?” Sean repeated the forgotten question. It’s important to him, somehow. “I’ll be a simp and eat anything you make if I have a competitor.”

Sean? The cool guy that Gumpa teased and labeled as White’s hubby? “I doubt that.”

“Oh, you’re testing me.”

“Am I?”

Challenged, Sean tried to take the creme brulee. “Give me that.” White caught his hand faster.

“No, it’s not set yet! And it's still burning!”

“I’ll burn my mouth for you.”

It was ridiculous as it’s phenomenal. White’s jaw was sore from all the laugh and wide smile after Sean left the shop. The rest of the day went by peacefully, yet White’s on the edge of his seat. He couldn’t wait for nighttime to come, taking it over and the sky going full circle until the sun rises again. So then he could see Sean again.

He felt ecstatic, but it also recalled a kind of coziness that he couldn’t quite decipher when and where he’d had it. It occurred to him, suddenly, of the memory in a distant past. Back when there was nothing to worry about. When the only concern was what's for dinner tonight, or who will father rewards today.

Back then, White thought of the world outside - above the ground - of vast green fields, blue sky and sparkling ocean. What are they like? Is ocean water really salty? Is July’s sun exceptionally hot? Do snow fall in white dots like in comic books?

White loved everyone. All 21 of them. Everyone had different traits and characteristics. They might not stay together forever. Once outside, each would find their own paths, interests, lifestyles. T-007 might be an artist that sells millions for one painting. T-015 wil be a great teacher. T-020 had gone ahead and announced plans to build a moonlander. White… T-021 didn’t have big or small dreams to chase. Father once asked everyone about what they wanted to be. He couldn’t answer that. So father suggested, “What if you become a politician like me?”

T-021 is cut out for it, he said. He is smart, cool-headed, and thinks things strategically. A little innocent, maybe, but that’s not entirely bad. It’s good to keep a pure heart of just being a leader.

T-021 was proud of himself for that. He started bossing his brothers, making up plans for fun and taking up the job for roll-call. Everyone teased him about it but complied nonetheless. They all loved each other. Although there’s one of them, T-012, who was always snarky and ruined the mood before getting in line with everybody else.

He thought that’s all there is to life. It was , until it was not anymore.

…

“White…!” A man shouted with emergence in the voice that resembled his own.

“Hia Black…”

Black - he is Black now and White is White. They’re no longer 12 or 21. Black pulled down his mask and revealed a face that mirrors White’s. “What are you doing here?? The sun had set 30 minutes ago!”

White sat up, alert, taking in his surroundings. He had fallen asleep on the kitchen counter after cleaning up. “Oh, shit…!” He grabbed his phone in an instant. How long had he been out? The time shown, missed calls from both Black and an unsaved number threw him in horror.

“Black, I’m sorry!” He looked up, almost tearful. “I missed the meeting with Pod!”

“What were you doing??”

“Nothing… I-I just… I don’t know why I… I didn’t get enough sleep last night discussing things with Hia Gumpa…” Shitty excuse, because he’d gone 48 hours without sleep before. Drowsiness is no excuse for a failed mission. Their lives could be at risk because of him. White knows. White knows all that, yet something’s changing in him recently. He can’t be sure if it’s good or bad. It’s the fact that, deep inside, he’s craving for an ordinary life - despite how extraordinary he is. He doesn’t hate Black, he never could. But living like this is exhausting. Being on edge all the time is exhausting. 12 hours is not enough for a day.

“So you are not hurt or drugged, right?” Black asked in a stern voice.

“N-No, I’m fine…”

His brother heaved a sigh and leaned back at last. White eyed his shirt that Black had clutched on tightly, now wrinkled, and uttered, “I’m sorry,” again.

“Forget it. I’ll go meet Pod tonight.”

“But it’s my fault… I should go-”

“I said, screw it! Must be another useless info anyway. Told Gumpa to find a more reliable source.” Black grunted. “Dunno why he’s still paying that fuckface.”

Gumpa was the man that rescued them from their ‘house’. He had been their team captain too since. The only ally they have known the longest - the only one left, because Todd betrayed them for his own benefit. They trust that man and that should apply to people he trusts as well. Even with many ups and downs now that the brother’s not affiliated with the guild anymore.

“Aren’t you mad at me?”

Black shot him a glare. “I am. What the fuck?”

“Not like that. I mean, I’m careless… and that could put us in danger.”

“It’s good that you know.”

“Yes…”

“...I should be angrier than this, huh?”

White nodded. “Usually you would throw punches already, for pulling a stupid stunt that worried you sick.”

“Bullshit! I’ve never punched you. Punches are for Ai’Todd.”

White laughed. He is still worried about Todd, after all. White is too. Even though they never see each other anymore. Todd visits at night, still worried about Black as well. Yet both are too stubborn to speak honestly. Todd betrayed them, but it’s a complicated situation.

“Did he come last night?”

Black doesn’t answer, but that’s enough. “You know, I didn’t feel like sending him to the hospital yesterday.”

“Oh,” White raised a brow. “Did he eat then?”

He shook his head. “Even though I specifically said ‘No laxative included’.”

“That wouldn’t help at all!”

“Wasted my time making that.”

White laughed again, this time Black joining him. They share the same face, of course, coming from the same DNA and all, yet seeing those dimples on Black’s face is a rare sight even for White. And when they do appear, he made sure to be quiet so Black could keep them on longer.

“Why didn’t you want to poison him?”

Black exhaled, glancing to the front door. The sign was flipped on the ‘Close’ side. He grabbed a stool and sat down, still not pulling down the hoodie that covered at least his side profiles.  “White, I’ve grown weak, haven’t I?”

“Weak?”

“Fucking weak.”

“Like how?”

“Like Todd. For a millisecond, I thought I could forgive him for what he did.”

White only stared.

Black returned his gaze. “I still remember his sorry-fucking-excuse. Like, living a worth-living life and stuff. Isn’t he just greedy? Money and power blinded him. That’s all.”

“But?”

“Maybe it’s not that simple.”

White nodded. “Maybe he has his own reasons.”

“I’ve probably made heaps of wrong decisions before.”

“What happened, Hia? Why do you suddenly think that?”

Those identical brown eyes shifted away from White’s. It’s getting to the uncomfortable part of the story. And White thought, perhaps something’s changing within Black too. He could only think of one person that’s the cause. The person that Black could show his care more openly. The person he cooks delicious food for.

“I broke up with Gene.”

…

Notes:

A not so long chapter today
Btw Black and White interactions were too little in the series, I crave for more! But I also understand it might be hard cuz they're played by Gun alone
Soooo my solution is to create more myself
Love their dynamic and the sibling banters

Chapter 10: 9th Hour: Fight for his love

Everyone in her performing art class had dreams. Big and small - mostly involved beautiful shiny dresses, camera flash, cheers and praises. They want to better their life, get acknowledged, and fawned over. But not Eugene.

She was easily top of the school, shining brighter than anyone. Teachers, judges, and recruiters from all places agreed that her performance sent chills down the spine. Whether rising to stardom or becoming world champion, the choice was all hers. But Eugene wanted none of that. She only wanted to be heard.

The world is full of distorted justice that preyed on the weak and protected the vile. Eugene performs to tell tales. To relay messages and to represent the people’s agony. If a glamorous life on stage would ensure her influence, then that’s her goal.

But December 2021 had cost her everything. Her vision burned to ashes, career destroyed, life is worthless now. Waking up to a yellowing ceiling every morning. Eating out of a cold styrofoam box. Carrying a taser gun in her pocket whenever going home late.

Like today, a very ordinary day in her life now. One of her students, a local mafia’s wife, stayed back late, crying her heart out after a dance lesson. After comforting her for an hour, Eugene sent her off and finally locked the studio. It’s already too dark outside. She grimaced. Nighttime in this town is not safe, much less for a lone young woman. She considered staying the night and called it a day. Not exactly comfortable but it’d do. Yet she was concerned about the grandpa next door that always mistook her for his daughter. She’d promised to visit often since he doesn’t have long to live.

Eugene braced herself and packed a pocket knife with her too. She hated how it immediately came in handy…

“Go die!” yelled her as she kicked down a guy after stunning him. The other came from her left and pushed the gun away. So Gene smacked him with her handbag while unfolding the knife. The third one jumped on her then, locking her movement. The two before stood up on wobbly legs to help.

Gene had no room in her head to think about what happens if she’s captured. She must not be captured! She didn’t stop kicking and shouting and swinging the blade as they took out a piece of cloth with some suspicious liquid. Right before she lost hope, a whir of engine and flashing headlight blinded them. There’s a harsh crashing sound and screams of horror before the hold on her arms loosened. Gene fell down. When she could finally peeled her eyes open, they widened in shock.

Two of the men attacking her are now beneath a big bike, screeching in pain. One had a wheel crushing his arm and the other was stuck under the exhaust pipe. The remaining free one stood dumbfounded. “Who the fuck are you?” he cussed at the rider. Right, the rider .

Gene looked up, eyes immediately met with a pair of dark ones, almost as dark as obsidian itself. She couldn’t see much of his face as he kept the helmet on. The rider walked towards her, deliberately ignoring the other man. He didn’t have a huge build compared to those men, but somehow had an ominous aura. He stopped in front of her, scanning briefly, “You’re not hurt much, are you? Stand up already.”

Those words instantly zapped her like her taser gun did those guys. A mix of shame and anger splashed over her. Gene forced herself up despite the sharp pain on her ankle.

“Hey, don’t fucking ignore me! I asked, who are you?!”

The rider side-glanced the yapping man. “Tch, there’s one more,” he muttered in low tone, as if talking about pests to exterminate.

“Don’t get in the way if you want to live!”

“Oh?” he turned around fully, something dangerous in his tone as he said, “You’re asking me if I want to live?”

Without as much of a warning, the rider took off his helmet and swung it swiftly, knocking the other man down in a heartbeat. He didn’t wait to continue landing some punches and kicks.

“Argh! Stop! Do you want to die??”

“Ask yourself that.”

The rider pulled out a gun then, throwing everyone in absolute silence. Gene’s breath hitched, wondering what she’d gotten herself into. This guy might be much more dangerous than those three combined.

“What are you doing to that girl?” The gun was scaring him, even more when the trigger was slowly pulled. But he kept his mouth shut, stubbornly hanging on. “It seems that you want to see your friends missing an arm or some guts.”

The other two, still trapped under the bike, screamed in terror. “I’ll talk! I’ll talk!”

Apparently, they were only told to kidnap young women wandering alone. They’re supposed to tie them up and leave them in the warehouse for someone to take them later. When asked what else they know, the guy with the broken arm insisted that was all. But after some more gruesome ways were pulled to make them talk, one finally spilled. 

By that point, Eugene stopped listening as panic and fear washed over. Her hands were trembling, ears ringing, muting everything out. Wondering if she should make a run for it while the rider could shoot her while she’s escaping…

“...ive me that.”

Eugene tuned in again, startled out of her trance.

“Give me that.” The rider repeated impatiently.

She looked around before figuring out what he meant. The knife on her hand, which she had gripped onto like her life depended on it. But at that moment, she easily gave it up. It clattered on the ground. The rider frowned at her before picking it up, then stabbed his hostage’s thigh with it. The man screamed sharply.

“Let this be a warning.” He uttered, digging the blade deeper, drawing more blood out. “If I ever see you doing this again, to her or anyone else, that ,” he poked at the blade, still stabbed. “Will find its way to your eyeball next.”

Those men scurried away the best they could afterwards. Eugene was pondering if she should too when the rider just silently got on his bike. He saved her in one way or another, but at the same time she doubted that as well.

“Why did you help me?” she asked right before he drove off.

“I didn’t.”

Gene got it, somehow. He needed information and she might just happen to be there. But it didn’t make sense. He could wait until Gene was captured and observe what came next. He helped Gene.

“I said I didn’t.” Yet, he insisted.

“Why wouldn’t you? You’d just let a girl get abducted without saving her?”

For the first time that night, the rider looked her in the eyes properly. Those eyes were dark, icy cold and emotionless like when he beat those men up.  Even so, his answer stunned her, engraved in her heart deeply.

“You’re fighting well. You didn’t need saving.”

…

Eugene had probably fallen in love with Black since that day.

Their next encounter was at the diner bar Black managed. It’s a new place she found on her way home one night. Surprises were evident on both their faces as they locked gaze (even though Black tried to hide it). Eugene kept coming back every other night. She’d finally found him again!

The first few times, Black completely ignored her no matter what she said. But she didn’t falter. If he wouldn’t listen, she’d leave a note. If he wouldn’t look at her, she’d keep showing up in his line of sight.

Until a week later, when everyone threw up their food upon first bite. Gene looked around, worried if she should take hers. Too salty, tasted like vomit, burnt their tongues and such complaints arose. Black simply told them there had been a mistake so the meal’s free and they could leave.

The shop’s empty in no time. Then Black sat down in front of her. “You’re one persistent bitch.”

A foul-mouthed man, like usual, but Eugene found herself smiling at that. “Finally remember who I am, Mr. Rider?”

“I never forgot.”

“Then why weren’t you talking to me?”

“Why should I?” he sighed. “You shouldn’t even come here.”

“Well, you’re open for business, aren’t you?”

Black scoffed. He then took out a leather bag from his apron pocket. “Take that.”

Gene batted her lashes, looking back and forth between the item and Black’s face. “What is it?”

“See for yourself.”

Suspicion only passed her mind a bit before she picked it up. It was hard and held a little weight. The first thing that came to mind was a harmonica due to the shape. But it didn’t make sense so Gene opened it to ease her curiosity.

“A knife…?” Gene wasn’t familiar with the model, but the thin metal tucked neatly between two halves of wooden handle was clearly a blade. She had received many gifts in the past, but none made her eyes twinkled like the way she got this: a literal weapon. “Why would you…?”

“I lost yours. I don’t like to owe people things. So take that.”

That recalled a memory. Yes, Black did use it to stab someone, but she had forgotten about it. She had even gotten a new one, but this… Eugene ran a finger on the red-painted handle. It has a neat pattern and the letter EG…!

“How do you know my name??”

The man snorted, “Information like that is not hard to attain for me.”

A realization hit her. All this time, when she’s trying hard to get his attention! “You are not a good guy after all!”

“Never said I am,” he smirked.

Irritation was there, definitely, yet Gene couldn’t fool herself or her racing heartbeat knowing it’s not one-sided. “...But you’re not a trash man. That much I can tell.”

Black raised a brow. “What’s the difference?”

“Trash men won’t arm women with a weapon. ‘Cuz they fear what we can do with it.”

There was a pause before Black pulled a small, almost unidentifiable smile. “Well, make sure you know how to use it first then.”

“Huh?”

“That’s called a butterfly knife. Not easy to use without hurting yourself.”

Gene frowned, a bit pissed. Talking with this man appears to require her long-lost patience. “Why would you give me something tricky to use??”

Black stood up, leaving the table as he said, “It suits you, doesn’t it? Not easy to handle. You don’t need saving, so make sure you save yourself next time.”

It’s crazy, maybe. At this point in her life, in this trash of a town filled with unkind souls, to find a fascinating man that made her heart beat like never before.

That’s right, she has never been a damsel in distress. Not in the past, not now. A graceful dancer, people call her, but not a dainty woman that waits around for a hero. Besides, Black is no hero. A person that didn’t blink as he ran people over and physically harmed them isn’t exactly a hero. Yet Eugene was captivated, alright. She knew she might be plunging herself in danger, but it lit up the fire inside her that’s long gone. Black was the reason she found the courage to stand up again. 

She came back the next night, the next and the next again. Because from her first visit, the food on her plate was consistently delicious. Never too salty, tastes like vomit or burns her tongue.

When asked why, Black simply shrugged, saying, “I don’t make mistakes. I only do business with people I want to.”

…

White remembered that butterfly knife with red handle. He’d stolen glances and tried touching it once. Black jumped out, practically barking him away from it. Mad dog - one of Black’s many infamous nicknames. He had never seen his brother that possessive over an object before. White would tease him about it but he still wanted ten of his fingers intact. 

It’s the knife specially made for the girl he liked, White figured out later. It’s the knife threatening his life, White reckoned now.  He stared at the tip of the blade, barely an inch away from his face. Eugene pushed, despite White’s hand restraining hers.

Wow, she’s not bad.

White needed to get a hold on himself before he got himself accidentally killed. So he hit Eugene’s wrist, throwing the knife off her grip and clinked on the ceramic floor. She got up to go after it. That’s when White slipped out of her deathly straddle.

“Gene, wait…!” White shouted, raising both hands to show that he’s unarmed.

The girl gave him a bloodshot glare that heavily reminded him of a certain someone. “That’s not your name to call!” she said, already pointing her knife again.

“Huh?”

“Who the hell are you?? And what are you doing here??”

“I… I am-” this is weird. White never had to introduce himself as his sibling. People naturally assume he is. What’s going on here? Aren’t they lovers? Black could not be that down bad to hallucinate their relationship, right?

A few days ago, Black had been uncharacteristically chatty. White understands, somehow. Due to their shared DNA, they are linked in the way that when one is undergoing massive emotional disturbance, the other will be affected by it as well. They first noticed years ago, on a mission to expose an illegal facility that does experimental drugs on children. White was on the verge of breaking down the moment they entered. The bright light, machines beeping, the abhorrent ‘clean’ smell - far too familiar. Then they found, in the archive room, a file with Thanwa’s name on it. White passed out after hyperventilating. Black almost did too, but luckily, they managed to make it out of the lab with Todd’s help.

Regarding that incident, Black had always been resentful rather than grief-stricken. Yet White’s immense sorrow that day made Black weak on the knees as well. Hence, White was a little taken aback when he felt like crying that day, as Black told him about Eugene leaving him. Although Black put on his poker face and phrased it coldly, he could never fool White. He has the most reliable Black’s-lie-detector.

That prompted White to take action. Well, if he’s brutally honest, he is just downright curious. What kind of person can break his brother’s iron heart? What is the reason? What happened between the two?

When he arrived at the apartment building, White may be too late to question himself. White is nosy. Because whose matter else could he poke his nose into? But he’s usually a bit more reserved. The only reason he could think of is Sean. White found love, if he dared hope. Deep inside, despite knowing how impossible it is, he wants this love to last. And while he’s at it, he wants Black to have it as well. Knowing Black, though, he’s too stubborn to fight for his love.

“Because there are more important things to deal with.”

But Black’s happiness is important for White too.

White threw away his doubts and entered Eugene’s room with the key he stole from Black. They have the same face, obviously. He’d also worn everything out of Black’s wardrobe. Now, put on the mean look and keep it up. White could do it!

“Quit the act! I know you’re not Black! Who are you??”

His cover was blown with an ambush before he even began. But how?? No one aside from Gumpa and Todd should know about them! White trusts that Black isn’t an idiot to reveal it when he’s the one threatening to kill Sean if the guy knows.

“Gene…” tried him, cold sweat breaking.

“Don’t come any closer!”

“I’m just here to talk.”

“I have nothing to tell you!”

How did Eugene know that he and Black are different persons? Good grace! White really does not want to grow such suspicion, it’s his brother’s job, but he couldn’t help it in this situation.

“I won’t let you use me against Black!” Gene exclaimed, then charging towards White with the sharp object yet again.

White only had little time to gasp. He evaded the thrust quickly, but it still grazed his upper arm. This has spiraled out of control. White figured she was not going to listen. Not right now. So he jumped around, avoiding the attacks without hurting her. When an opening was seen, he grabbed a cloth - ribbon-like shoelace - that would do. And proceeded to tie her hands with it.

White finally dropped to the ground, catching his breath after confiscating her knife. He looked at Gene, hair and clothing a mess, tied and wriggling on the bed. The room was a havoc. White gulped. It’s prone to create misunderstandings.

He sighed, deciding to drop the act at last. “Look, Kru Gene, I’m sorry to scare you. I don’t mean to.”

Gene froze at the change in demeanor. She narrowed her eyes. “Kru… You’re not one of my students… are you?”

“No, I’m not. It’s just what I always call you around Black.” White shook his head. “Ah, it’s all wrong. I shouldn’t have approached you like this…”

“...Who are you actually?”

White felt his tongue numbing. He was about to tell someone something he had not even opened up to Sean. But this is Eugene, the love of his brother’s life. Plus, she seemed to have found out somehow. Oh, screw it all, then.

“Terribly sorry for the late introduction. I am White, Black’s… twin brother.”

Gene wasn’t amused. “He never told me that,” then her gaze fell. “Well, I guess that’s nothing new. He never told me anything.”

“Is… Is that why you broke up with him?”

At that, she furrowed her brows like White just stepped on her tail. “Me? Are you kidding? He was the one who dumped me.”

That raised a mutual confusion. “Huh? But I thought… He loves you… how could he?”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. I can tell.”

But Eugene didn’t believe him. “Even if he does, he still abandoned me.”

“Kru Gene…”

“What are you here for, White?”

“To talk about Black. That’s all there is to it. I’m not trying to hurt you or him at all. He is my brother. I could never do that.”

Gene stared, skeptical. “Then why were you pretending to be him?”

“Because… I’m not supposed to tell you who I am. I know it’s hard to understand. I will try to explain, so can we talk properly?”

The frown had yet to cease from Gene’s forehead, but she was cooperating. “Untie me first.”

“Okay, but don’t try to kill me again.”

Eugene seemed to have slowly trusted him. Enough for a civil conversation, at least. She told him what happened. One day, an unknown man was wandering around her dance studio. He was there the whole day, and the next, and the next as well.

Didn’t need her woman’s intuition to figure out something wrong. She told Black about it. Black then disappeared, along with the suspicious man. When she couldn’t contact nor find him at the diner, there’s nothing she could do. Gene waited.

Waiting, however, is a devastating thing. What’s happening with Black? How is he doing? Is he alive? Is he hurt? Why had he not reached out? Until when should she wait? Those questions spun in her head and remained unanswered. Eugene couldn’t sit still, thinking of heading back to the diner one night. That’s when Black showed up by her door.

“He just came to tell me we won’t see each other ever again.”

“...And then?”

“And then? You should know your brother better than I do. He’s not here to negotiate. There’s no room for discussion.”

“So you never saw him again?”

Gene shook her head. “He just showed up one day then left as he pleased… No matter how I cry, or what I say, he won't take back his words. He wouldn’t have come even if I’m dying. That’s why you’re not Black.”

That’s not true. Black is not heartless despite how he made himself to be. But White had no idea how he should explain it. His brother has his own twisted way to love that not everybody can accept or understand. But then, like Gene said, White isn’t Black. He can’t guarantee what Black would and wouldn’t do no matter how connected they are.

“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have tried to pose as him. I didn’t realize it could have given you some false hope…”

“I didn’t.” She laughed bitterly. “Thankfully, I didn’t. You know, I guess I was desperate. Since he’s driving me crazy, I tried to find him again after he dumped me. And that’s when I saw you.”

White’s blood ran cold. “H-How?”

“The shop was closed, but not locked. I couldn’t help entering. Then I saw you two talking in the kitchen. I couldn’t believe my eyes, to be honest.”

He had an inkling when exactly that was. They don’t usually make careless mistakes like that, but he knew one day, when he’d left the door unlocked and stayed outside too long after the sun set. It was his fault. Imagine it had been someone else, not Eugene. Imagine their enemy. Imagine…

White snapped himself out of the thoughts with a sharp breath. He tightened his grip on the knife he took from Eugene. No, he’s not going to do that! Black trusted her. White should too. If not, then he will never be able to convince Black about Sean.

“W-Why didn’t you say anything? Does Black know that you know?”

“I was scared.” She said, but fear is the last thing to describe the glint in her eyes. “It suddenly hit me that I knew nothing about the man that slept next to me.” Gene reached out to the butterfly knife, which White handed back rather easily, and swiftly swung it close. “But then he slept next to me. He gave me a weapon and left me in the dark. That’s what my father did to protect my mother from harm. If he doesn’t want me to know, then I will remain clueless.”

White was on the way back, riding Black’s bike and preparing for a good beating because of, well, many things. As much as White wanted to help Eugene, the secret was too big for him. He had to tell Black that she knew about them. White figured that despite his bullshit, Black wouldn’t kill Eugene, so leaving her sooner than later was the only right way.

As the sky turned gray and wind blew on his face, he felt an immense emotion washing him over. It might come from Black, or just himself. His heart ached as though he was the one going through the heartbreak. They love each other that much, hearts bleeding with longing that can’t be fulfilled.

Why? Why were they born? Why were they created with a heart if they’re not destined to use it?

White’s tears streamed down, blurring his vision on the road. If he had to leave Sean like that one day, it might break him beyond repair.

…

Notes:

I love GunFilm and BlakGene is an unexpected gift
I hope y'all like it as well

Chapter 11: 10th Hour: Play both parts

Notes:

Told myself I'm not sad
But I actually am
Have been updating slow so maybe ppl got tired of waiting
Or the chapter wasn't interesting
But I promised myself to finish the fic I started so I have to

Enjoy if someone stuck around~

“I’m leaving the country for the time being.”

That’s what White woke up to at 3 a.m. Gumpa casually walked into the kitchen and made earth-shattering noises. Black threw a pillow that landed right at his face. White made a muffled whine. These night owls have no pity for him and his eyebags the next day.

“Are you listening?”

“I am!”

“Then open your fucking eyes and look at me!”

White badly wanted to plop back down on bed just to spite his brother, but he didn’t want a pair of knuckles on his temple this early. So he peeled open his eyes with two fingers. “Yeah, I heard you. Where are you going?”

Black clicked his tongue at the mischief, smacking White on the head. “Hong Kong. We got some leads that ‘our guy’ is flying there in a private jet. But he’s supposed to attend a charity ball at Chiang Rai at the same time.”

“One of them must be a decoy.” White concluded.

“But my hunch is strong in Hong Kong. So I’ll go take a look.”

“What time are we leaving?”

“I said, I will go.”

White froze in the middle of stripping off his pajamas. “Wha…?”

“You heard him, White. You’re staying.” Gumpa walked out with three plates of fried rice.

He turned to the tall and bulky man. “What are you saying, Hia?”

Black nonchalantly got up to join Gumpa at the dinner table. He’s always like this. If Gumpa is around, he’d give up completely and leave all the talking to the older man. And White heard his stomach rumbling so he took a seat as well.

“Someone’s been on your tail,” Gumpa started. “Black’s to be exact. He got rid of the guy, but there’s no telling when they’d caught up again.”

“Since when?”

“Not long.”

“Is it…?”

Black only grunted in response. It’s the man that followed Eugene. Gumpa eyed them skeptically, but spared them from criticism. “Anyway, there are eyes watching now. So we need you to stay here to catch their attention while Black finds out what ‘our guy’ is up to.”

“You’re going alone? Isn’t that risky??

“Of course, but this must be quite a deal if he is pulling a body double. Why don’t we fight him with one as well?” Gumpa smirked.

“What about Chiang Rai? Should I go?”

“No, that’d be me. It’d be suspicious if your shop’s closed.”

None of those sat right in White’s guts, same as the overly salted fried rice. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“It’s the only way.” Black said, finishing his plate.

“Yeah, it’s not easy to get news of his movement. We can’t miss this.”

“Even if it’s a trap?”

Gumpa grabbed his shoulder. His hand had always been rough and bone-crushing, but also felt very securing. The brothers wouldn’t even be here today if not for him. He is probably the closest person they would call a family -  if Black is not too stubborn to admit or White overthinks about saying it out loud.

“White, as we’re speaking, I don’t know how many children are suffering right now. We can’t let a moment be wasted.”

White was speechless. Two pairs of eyes stared at him, waiting. He hates being the youngest sometimes.

“Any more objections?” asked Gumpa.

“What can I say?” White pouted, spooning the remaining of his fried rice. “You guys have planned everything.”

Gumpa chuckled, ruffling his already messy hair. “Don’t sulk! We’ll tell you earlier next time.”

“I’m not sulking!”

Sure, a tiny bit maybe. They, including Todd, had always treated him like a kid. In emergencies, they’d quickly devised a plan and only told White what to do. It’s annoying. Sometimes, like this time, it bugged him for the many flaws he could see from even stars away.

‘Our guy’ is the term they used for one of their biggest enemies. The mastermind behind many horrible crimes and part of an even bigger association. An evil organization surely doesn’t immediately perish with the capture of one person, but he is definitely a key person that will lead them to expose the rest of it. He is Tawi, the wicked man hiding and blending among the elitists of the town.

Tawi was also behind the 2021 case that Black suspected Sean and Gram were involved in. He looks like a mere businessman but those underestimating him would learn it the hard way. Black and White did. They lost lots of comrades because of it.

Hence, while Gumpa drove the truck carrying them into the port, White feared what he always feared in every mission. That he’s going to lose the most important person in his life. Back when his brothers perished one after another, White felt his heart crushed multiple times, as though he felt the same pain that took away their lives. Black must have felt the same, but he swung the blood-soaked knife, killing himself inside a little bit each time. White doesn’t think either of them could survive any more death. 

If Black goes, so will White.

They passed the security with fake ids before the truck came to a complete stop. White felt the box he’s hiding in being transported from the truck. Black and Gumpa were silent along the way, only updating the situation with knocks as code. At one point, the movement ceased and dim light seeped through the gap as the box was opened. Black helped him out for them to exchange clothes quickly. The ship embarks in 20 minutes. Black will infiltrate it, get off at Penang then catch a flight to Hong Kong.

“When will you be back?”

“In around 3 days. If I don’t…”

“You will.”

Black looked up, buttoning his shirt. White can see in his eyes, the snarky remark forming that he decided not to say. Instead, Black flicked him on the forehead. “Yeah, yeah, take care of the shop.”

White groaned in low volume while Black took off his earrings to put them on him. They have the exact same amount of piercings and tattoos. A quick way for people to assume they’re the same person.

“Come back quickly, I don’t know what to do if Gram flirts with me.”

“Just ignore him.”

“What about Todd?”

“Close up as soon as you see him.”

He laughed. Todd can tell anyway.

“While you, don’t go around kissing some assholes as me.”

“I won’t!” There’s only one guy he’d be kissing anyway.

His brother simply snorted. “It’s time. I gotta go,” but he didn’t move and White knew why. He also knew Black would not do it, so he gave in every time, as the ‘younger, more sentimental one’. White hugged him, which Black returned right away.

“Don’t die, Hia.”

“You too, shitface.”

…

It’s not the first time Black is out of town (in this case, out of the country) and White has to play both parts. There’s one time, he followed a lead to Suphanburi. But it only lasted for one night. One fateful night.

Generally, White and Black don’t dress drastically differently. But each has their own preferences in fashion that was alright if done moderately. It’s normal for someone to have multiple styles depending on the mood. Only people with keen eyes or ulterior motives or a skeptical mind would pick up the hints. In that sense, Sean had all three.

That night, White just zipped up his jeans when he received a message. His brother was in trouble. He’d got back to town but might be terribly hurt. White threw on Black’s hoodie and grabbed his bike key. As he ran down the narrow stairs of the flat, he hit a wall with a wham. Turned out it wasn’t a wall at all. It was the hot tattoo artist living two doors away.

Sean was hot from the first time White laid eyes on him. But the frown and dead-fish eyes made him hard to perceive. Like he had some kind of dark past, mysterious background, or just plain apathetic. That in itself was attractive as well, but White didn’t want to play with fire… just yet. He had no idea what’d come out of interacting with the guy. Whether he’s trustworthy or up to no good. Yet the attraction was uncanny. White and Sean always gravitated toward each other at ridiculous timing. Their eyes would meet unprompted, paths would cross unexpectedly, and eventually, crash toward each other like the work of magnetic pull.

White was initially shocked at Sean’s findings in the period before they even spoke to each other. Those hawk-eyes watched him closely and the invisible claw held on White made him shudder, yet extremely intrigued. That man is a shameless stalker. In return, White made some reasonable digging into his past. Only fair, wasn’t it?

Anyway, he knew Black is one person and White is another. Maybe not literally, but he at least was aware they have different minds. Right now, it is Black hour. So White is supposed to be Black, even while in front of his observant lover.

“What do you want?” White said in a growl-like low pitch.

Sean narrowed his eyes with irk. This had definitely happened before. Sean did tell him he won’t be visiting the diner unless White’s in because of that one time. Hence, what’s he doing here?

“Look, it’s not like I want to see your damn face.” Sean started. “I’m just getting my stuff.”

“What stuff?”

“Bike key. I must’ve left it here.”

White put down the ginger and knife, turning to wash his hands. “Going somewhere?” When Sean didn’t answer, White paused within realization. It had been so natural for him to ask Sean where he was or what he’s doing.

“The fuck do you care.”

“Yeah, go to hell if I care.” He choked out just in time before it got weird.

“You’re the one going to hell,” Muttered Sean.

White should probably throw him a dagger stare, but he was busy holding his laughter. Is this how Black and Sean interact? Because it’s hilarious and a shame that he couldn’t ever actually witness it.

“Quit being nosy and give it to me, I’ll get off your back.”

Rude, but sexy somehow. White clicked his tongue in pretense. “Where did you leave it?”

Sean went quiet. He couldn’t remember. He walked closer, pointing to the area behind the counter. “Somewhere there, I guess.”

“Here? This is staff only. What the fuck were you doing here?”

Sean snorted, “You wouldn’t want to know.”

Oh, he knows . So well. But ‘Black’ had to ask and threaten Sean in some way. Plus, he really wanted to see Sean put on a cocky face at ‘Black’ while thinking about what they did earlier. Their hands all over each other. Tongue in his throat, half-hard dick pressing against his own erection, White being pushed up onto the sink as Sean kissed him senseless, and…

Fuck!

White rushed to the sink and looked into the bin next to it. He remembered hitting something and hearing a jingle of some sort while they trashed around. But the bin is empty now, he just threw it out.

“What?” Sean asked, laced with horror. “Don’t tell me you threw away my key??”

“...It’s an accident.”

“Accident?!” Sean gaped. “You looked at a fine fucking key and dumped it and call it a fucking accident?”

To be fair it’s kind of Sean’s fault, but it’s not like ‘Black’ can yell at him and say, “Maybe if you weren’t so horny, then I wouldn’t have dumped it.”

“Shut up,” was the best comeback he had. “I’ll go find it.”

Sean tailed behind him to the back alley. White heaved a sigh at the mountain of trash bags. Black constantly warned him about sleeping with men, like he is some innocent virgin. He said he’ll suffer the consequences if not careful. White just didn’t expect the said consequence to be diving into rubbish for some key.

White rolled up his sleeves, resigning to fate. He separated the bags into two parts. “You search over there. I’ll do here.”

“You threw away my stuff and expect me to help? Can’t you be more responsible??”

White’s jaw dropped to the floor. “Are you fucking serious?”

“What? You don’t like it? Then maybe treat other people’s stuff with respect next time.”

Is it wrong to sock your lover in the face? Sean’s teeth mark and the bruise he left were still somewhere around his collarbone. White’s so tempted to pull down his shirt, to show him and tell him it was his fault they’re doing this. It’s them ! Not him , doing this alone.

“Look, fuck your respect! If you want to quickly get back your key and get outta this place, then you better help!”

Sean was visibly annoyed, yet he couldn’t really talk back to it. He grumbled some more before both started sorting out garbage in silence. White only realized a moment later that he could be that hot-headed. This only proved that he and his brother shared the same blood for a reason.

Thanks to Sean, White had to close up the shop early. No way is he cooking and serving people smelling like rotten eggs. Sean also bid goodbye to whatever plan he had, looking so handsome. To see his side chick maybe? Who knows?

Now, they are walking hazards, making their way up the stairs. Thankfully, Gumpa wasn’t around either, leaving the building with only them and third floor occupants who rarely come down. No one deserved running into them in the current state. Sean’s shoulder bumped into his due to the limited space. White, already pissed, bumped him back immaturely. It soon became a race to climb up.

White arrived first. Just before he opened the door, he cursed out loud. Sean turned around. Curiosity got the best of him, so he asked. “What?”

“The water’s not running at my place.” He totally forgot to deal with that. He could always use Gumpa’s shower but he didn’t want to deal with his complicated lock at the moment. White groaned, deciding to go back downstairs.

“Where’re you going?”

“To the shop.”

“Huh? You’re gonna shower there?”

“So what?”

Sean shouldn’t freak out. He himself had taken one with the garage's water jet. He had no right to judge White using toilet’s bidet spray.

“What about clothes?”

White shrugged, “I can come up to wear one later.” He’s sure he had some rags for a towel to cover up for a while.

For some reason, Sean’s eyes were bulging out at the statement. “Are you crazy?!” He took wide steps approaching White and grabbed his wrist. “Come, shower at mine!”

“What? No!”

“Why? It’s not like it’s the first time.”

Said first time ended up with them doing more than just showering. But Black is not supposed to know that! “What the fuck are you saying??”

“Just come!”

“I said no!”

White tried to fight it, but Sean nearly manhandled him just to get him into his house. There was the urge to run, but it also made him slightly weak on the knees. Only after the door was slammed close that White snapped out of it. Why was he letting ‘Black’ get dragged into Sean’s room? And why is Sean this worked up anyway?? Don’t tell him…

“Oh, fuck no.”

“What?”

“Don’t try anything with me , or I’ll break your fingers!”

“What… Oh, you think-Fucking hell! No!”

“Then what?”

Sean rolled his eyes, tossing White’s hand from his grip. “Look, Black! I know you hate me. I can’t stand you either. And although you share the same body as White…” His eyes darted to the exposed bite mark on White’s skin. White frantically covered it. “I can differentiate it. I love only White. So you can rest assured. I’m not gonna do anything to you.”

Love… They’ve never used that word with each other, even though their feelings are apparent. It’s a shame to hear it for the first time as Black, but White’s heart skipped a tad bit faster anyway.

“That said, go in now!” Sean turned and pushed him towards the bathroom. “This is still White’s body after all, I can’t have you wander around naked outside.”

When White stepped out of the bath, Sean tossed him a loose white shirt and tried not to stare. That had White giggling. Ever since they got together, Sean never had to act like a gentleman around him. They just ended up jumping each other anyway. So this is new, a bit addicting, he fears.

Weirdly, as ‘Black’ right now, White is jealous of himself for bagging someone like Sean.

He contemplated what to do next. Should he just leave? What would Black do? But that’s stupid. He’d been acting out of character too much already. Well, at least Sean still thinks he is Black. It should be fine as long as he fixes it now…

Yes, should be fine if he does better than not leave and cook supper for Sean.

“What is this?”

“Noodle.”

Sean’s brows knitted together. “Are you messing with me?”

“Is that how you say thanks?”

“Thanks? For what, exactly?”

White twirled the noodle on his spoon, blowing it. “I thought it’s obvious. For making you food?”

“For touching my kitchen as you please. For using my stuff without permission.”

“I used it to make you some too, isn’t that kind enough?”

Sean walked up to White, moving his chair so White looked up at him. “Who the hell said you can use them?”

“Don’t be so stingy.” White responded to the sharp glare with a mischievous grin. “I’m hungry. You don’t want White’s body to go hungry, do you?”

His glare narrowed down to that of calm rage. “You’re not using White to taunt me.”

“But I am. What are you gonna do about it?” White was doing his absolute best not to crack up and pinch Sean’s cheeks right away. In case he forgot, right now he is still ‘Black’, somehow. “Now, just eat up. Think of it as White cooking for you or whatever.”

Sean wasn’t entirely satisfied, but he sat down anyway. “Do you poison it?”

White scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself. Can’t be bothered to do that.”

“Hard to say.” Sean flipped the noodle with his chopstick. “Last time you cooked, it’s inedible as heck. Who knows what trick you have this time?”

Well, if the real Black is sitting here, he surely would. But White can’t do that to his man. He needs to have him eat well.

“It’s just fucking instant noodles, okay? If you won’t eat then give it here!” He reached to yank the bowl, but Sean caught his hand and shooed him away.

“I didn’t say I won’t.”

Sean was still grumbling about the ingredients being his, he won’t let Black eat it all, and the sort while blowing on his food. When he finally took the first slurp, White discreetly smiled to himself. Flirting with Sean as Black sounded so wrong even in his own head, but it’s exciting, he fears.

…

Notes:

Personally, this arc is my fav part
There's just something about the tension of White as Black and Sean that's irresistible
Need to bring that back somehow

Atp this fic is just me taking all the elements I like about Not Me both the series and novel and recreate it the way I like
Enjoy if you share the same sentiment as me~

Chapter 12: 11th Hour: I can never be all yours

Notes:

I just moved to a new place for less commuting time and more *beauty* sleep lmao
Now 90% done before the new place is funtioning
Finally have the time and energy to update

Here's a spicy chapter for y'all~
But I can't really handle spice so take my words with a grain of salt

Black is acting strange.

To be fair, dude’s always been an asshole mad dog, but it’s different this time. He was a bit more talkative than usual. More civil, less venomous, weirdly pliant - if that word can be used in the same sentence as Black.

If one day only has 12 hours, then Sean is spending most of it watching White like a hawk. While Black, their meeting and interaction are limited. He hardly had any idea what prompted the change. Normally, Sean wouldn’t give a damn, but something changed him too since last night.

Getting together with White is a wild thing in itself. Because there’s ‘Black’ and ‘White’ within one person, but Sean strictly only fell in love with White, who appeared during daytime and disappeared after sunset. He tried thinking about Black and tried to get close to him too. It’s a terrible mistake. Black is lucky he has White’s face. That’s the only reason they haven’t gotten into a fistfight yet.

It sounds wrong to be dating a guy that you hardly know anything about and can only meet for a specific time of the day. But morale had left Sean long ago, dead along with his younger self. All he wants right now is just White, the man that makes him feel love and alive again.

That was all at first, but he supposed not for long. Black is something - someone - he can’t ignore after all. Especially when that man suddenly shows a more bearable side that could pass on as nice, with tons of buts. They miraculously sat down and finished a meal together. That’s Guinness-world-record-worthy.

White never said he should - he hardly mentioned anything regarding his other self - but Sean thought it might not be bad if he can get along with Black. Hence, Sean is back to stalking again.

Black closed up early and took out his motorcycle. Sean hopped on his as well, tailing behind, keeping distance. He drove into the Chinatown street, red-light district, night club area, but stopped at none. He just kept driving and driving. They’re getting further away from the bustling part of the town. Initially, Sean was just curious about what Black’s usually up to. But now it feels more like an investigation. Sean was reminded of his first impression towards this guy - the suspicious rich boy. Was he finally going to find out what funny business he had going on?

It seemed very likely.

Because just before reaching a particularly busy intersection, Black blended into the crowd and took a sharp turn into a narrow shortcut. He was obviously trying to shake off someone. It was too late to follow his trail, so Sean took another route that would catch up with Black from the other end.

Next, Black stopped at a park and went down on foot. Sean parked behind the bushes nearby. And that’s where he messed up. Black disappeared.

“Shia…”

“Looking for me?”

Sean jumped, turning around in a flash. Since when did he get behind him??

Black looked up to him with his usual unbothered eyes. “Why are you following me?”

He was tongue-tied, had not thought about this part happening. Black had one hand behind his back in an all too familiar stance. He’s instantly reminded of White and his gun. Even with a firearm, White doesn’t ever scare him. He knew he would not be the receiving end of its bullet. But it’s a different story with Black.

“Aren’t you gonna talk?”

Sean slowly gulped.

“I’d rather you tell me the truth now or-”

“I just want to know you.”

That left Black speechless, his face stuck between half-frown and half-gasp.

“You never said the game is over. I’m still getting to know you. You can’t stop me.”

“You… You do realize that’s between you and White, right? And I am not White.”

Black didn’t have to emphasize it for Sean to understand. Yes, the man in front is currently not White. But he also wants to get to know him… Oh, no . Is he a goner?

Unknowingly, Sean’s feet brought him closer. Black only stared, his cold demeanor breaking away. It encouraged Sean more despite the loud beating of his heart in his eardrum. Not once had he thought about being in this proximity with Black before. It feels wrong. But is it, really?

Then at the ungodly timing…

Bang!

Sean felt himself pulled down at the same time as the noise pierced through the air. A bullet barely missed his arm. “Did you get followed?” Black asked.

“I didn’t see anyone.”

“Fuck, since when…?”

“Do you have an enemy or-” Another shot was fired, causing them both to jerk. “Let’s get outta here first!”

Running back to their bike was too risky. They opted to go further inside the park, with trees and bushes as shields. The bullets stopped coming for the time being, but several footsteps followed them. There were probably 3-4 of the perpetrators. Sean didn’t have the leisure to turn back and confirm.

It is not a flex to say he’s used to this situation. Being chased down by gunmen, killers, corrupted police with ill intention. He had been through plenty, narrowly escaped death each time. But that was long, long ago. Sean had laid low for so long, his survival instinct must have gone rusted. If not for Black, he might not have made it.

“Here,” Black said, leading him to the lake crowded with tourists and locals. Sean’s gaze fell to their linked hands, feeling strange butterflies despite the dire situation. Then their pursuers caught up. They quickly mingled in a queue to get on the small rowboats.

“Hey, are we getting on?” Sean tugged before Black stepped out of the deck.

“It’s better like this! Harder for them to aim.” Black hissed. “Come!”

They started rowing away as soon as they sat down, close enough to be blocked by other boats but not enough to bump into them. Sean could make out some men in black clothes by the shore, looking around confusedly.

“They’ve lost us.”

“Don’t let your guard down yet.”

The pond was dark, with only the help of dim yellow lights, he’s pretty sure they won’t be spotted. However, before they left, one of the men watched the boats suspiciously.

“Not good,” Sean turned to Black. “What do we do?”

Black tilted up at the same time, then they both froze. Suddenly too close, Sean feared he could hear him swallowing. And then begrudgingly, his eyes traveled to his lips. The pair of sinful lips he couldn’t get enough of. One part of his brain was working normally, alert, aware of the situation. But another was fogged with desire, thrill and self-doubt. He loves only White, doesn't he?

Flashlights shone their way all of a sudden. With emergence, Black yanked his collar and their lips crashed together. Sean pulled away at once, but Black grabbed his neck and kept him close. “What the-”

“Don’t turn.” He whispered. “Play along.”

Then Black was bringing him down to kiss him again. It was rough and impatient, as if Black wanted to eat him up quickly. Sean felt dumb. He just opened his mouth, letting him do as he pleases. But then a hand went up the back of his head, fingers running through his hair and scratching gently. He felt the tingle all over his scalp. It shook his heart and his entire being. That’s something White usually does to soothe him.

Sean kissed back at last. Pushing the smaller body closer until there was no space left between them. All the senses left him then, only warm bodies and hot breathing of the two remained. It’s like the first time, yet also the thousandth time he had kissed those lips, sucking it, glorifying it.

He’d been so lost in the sensation, time and space forgotten. Until Black was halfway from climbing onto him and the boat started tipping. Sean stopped abruptly. His heart palpitated in a different way than a second ago. The realization dawned on them and they separated instantly.

The atmosphere turned as still as the water below them. As though the plug had been pulled, everything flooded back in. Laughter, screaming of children, unimpressive night breeze, earthy scent and warm hues of the lamp posts. Sean took a moment to register them back while staring at Black, who wouldn’t look at him now.

“Black,” Sean started, still panting. “They’re gone now.”

The said man simply hummed. Then moving to reach the oar of the boat, still not looking at Sean. “Let’s go.”

But he didn’t say where. So Sean stuck closely behind. Black didn’t say anything nor chase him away. He couldn’t, because he wouldn’t meet him in the eyes. Shortly, they were driving back to their flat apartment. And Sean had a hunch that Black would leave him like that to die wondering tonight.

That can not do.

“Black,” He called out as they reached the second floor. “Ai’Black!”

“What?” Yet he headed straight to his room, not bothering to stop.

Sean’s patience ran thin. He grabbed his shoulder to slam him against the door. “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

What welcomed him was Black looking up with a flustered frown. It stupefied Sean for a second. Gave him a sense of comfort, that he’s not feeling things alone.

“What was that before?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t know?” Sean scoffed, gazing at his lips. They were so swollen then, he’s tempted to make it even more. But Black pushed him before he could lean any closer.

“Don’t you dare.”

“Dare to what? Kiss you, like you did to me? Why? You can do it but not me? How selfish.”

Black put on the wounded animal look he’d never seen before. “You don’t know what you’re dealing with…!”

“Really? Tell me then.”

There’s a long pause, but Black averted his gaze anyway. “Forget it.”

Sean was devastated. He could feel it gnawing him alive, annoying him to no end. He convinced himself he’s fine having White for only 12 hours of the day, but it was all blatant denial to cope with what he can’t have. Truth is, he is just another greedy human being. Black or White, day or night, Sean wants all of this man. The one that cuddles him close and whispers sweet nothing to his ears.

Black was getting away again, so this time Sean caught his wrist and pinned him to the wall. “You’re not going anywhere.”

He captured Black’s lips with the same force and intensity as he did earlier. Sucking on his upper lip, lower lip in repeat. Black squirmed under him but the effort was so flimsy it’s laughable. They broke off for a moment to catch the much needed air. “What do you want from me?” Asked Black in a raspy voice, without the usual spite.

“You feel the same as me, don’t you? Just tell me. I only need to know that.”

“And? What’d you do if you knew? You won’t be able to change a single thing! Not me, not you! I can never be all yours.”

“Then why did you let me hope?! If I can’t have you, then why…?” Water pooled in Black’s eyes. Sean thought he’s doomed, because he’d just found another weakness of his. His voice toned down, almost begging. “Don’t give me false hope. I have given all of me to you, Black. I have nothing left.”

Sean waited for a solid second, but those lips were sealed tight. His heart sank. Is this it then?

Sean then bent down to kiss him lightly. Loosening his grip on his wrists. As if farewell without him intending it to be. Though as soon as he did, Black surged forward to deepen the kiss. Hands traveled up and locked around Sean’s neck.

He knew he was pathetic. Even worse since he knew, yet willingly let this man play and trample on his heart. Sean allowed himself to, once again, drown in the touch. Before he came to, Black was maneuvering them into his room, lips and tongues barely parting in the process. They stumbled onto a big bed then. Black was already working to strip him off his shirt. Sean returned the favor, unbuttoning him when Black suddenly held his hand.

Sean lifted his face to a frowning Black. “Are you sure about this?”

“Do you want to stop?”

“You might regret it later.”

“Maybe. Or maybe not.”

“You said it yourself. You only love White, don’t you? Also… I may not be the Black you know. Can you really accept that?”

He gave it some thought before answering. Not because he hesitated, but he was too eager to answer yes. “You know, I was confident before. But not anymore. I don’t know when exactly you are Black or White. And it doesn’t matter. I only know that inside here,” Sean pointed at the other’s chest. “there’s someone that truly cares about me. That’s who I fell in love with.”

In the dark, he couldn’t really make out the face Black put on. Though Sean thinks he knows already. Black kissed him tenderly before pushing him back and sat on him. The shirt slid off his shoulder soon. Sean resigned to his fate as Black bent down to lick and bite his ear.

“Can I ask you something?”

Sean shuddered, hot breath against the back of his ear. “What?”

“If we’re doing it, can you not call my name?”

It was a strange request. When his head is clearer the next day, it’d probably occur to him that he had never known his real name. But for now, Sean only nodded along. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

…

If love can be measured, Sean supposes that his is a lost cause. Because it’s all jumbled, his feelings, affection, wrath, doubt, sincerity. At this point, he is getting every single sign and seeing every red flag warning, yet proceeded to ignore them all for the sake of waking up to this angelic face.

The light is out now. White shifted in his sleep, avoiding the sunray that hit him. Sean chuckled with endearment, playing with his fringe and stroking his cheek slowly. He doesn’t get to do this often as they’re usually quick to get into bickers and competition. But the truth is, Sean would faithfully cave in if White just asked.

However, reality dawned on him and the euphoria dispersed. He only got up to use the toilet at first, but consciously or not, he began snooping around. Sean had a vague idea why he’s doing it. Maybe old habits die hard. Maybe he still had an ounce of rationality left. Sean doesn’t trust anyone easily and White has never been honest with him. Getting invited to his house felt like him finally putting down his walls. Sean was elated, but also couldn’t pretend the suspicion was not gnawing at him every second.

Getting chased down by gunmen can only mean two things: he is a bad guy’s target or he’s the bad guy himself. Sean needed to find out which.

The result of searching the house left him with an odd feeling. White’s room is  mostly normal. Yes, for a single person, the bed is a bit too big, there were too many plates, mugs, and towels hanging, but none of those proved anything. What bothered him most were three things:

Perfume. Sean found one too many bottles than expected. It’s opened but a scent he’d never smelled on White before. And these past two nights he spent with Black, he didn’t smell like that sixth bottle either.

Cigarette pack. There’s one casually lying around with a lighter on top. But Sean had never seen White smoking at all. Neither do his clothes have the remaining scent.

Toothbrush. There were two by the bathroom sink.

It’s safe to assume that someone else lived there. Or at least they’re there often, and have some kind of long-term relationship with White.

Sean gave himself a second to feel jealousy bubbling, yet those weren’t the oddest thing he found. There’s a shelf near the fridge. It looked fine, only containing random spices and cutlery. But there’s a secret compartment, easy to miss but was clearly there. Sean opened it, revealing a gun and a number of unknown electronic devices.

“Sean…?”

“Yes, baby?”

White snaked his arms around his waist. “What are you doing?”

Sean turned around with a piece of paper he found on top of the shelf. “Do you draw these?” He showed the sketch.

“Mm-hmm, are they pretty?”

“It’s unique.” Sean put a hand on his shoulder, leading him away from the shelf without turning around. Hoping he’d closed it properly. Sean laid them both on the bed and White immediately snuggled close to him, to his heart beating hard with guilt. “What are they for?”

White lifted the sketch above their faces, the sunlight shone on it. “...I was thinking about getting more tattoos.”

“Really? Want me to do it for you?”

“That’s what I intended.”

Sean’s eyes lit up. He had an inkling but hadn’t expected himself to be this cheap. Just seconds ago, cold sweat was tickling his spine. White could be a killer, mafia, or some kind of secret agent, anything he could imagine. But now his heart is thumping, everything thrown out the window, at the simple fact that White wanted Sean to do a tattoo for him.

He had no idea about other artists, but Sean considers it an honor if someone trusts him to do it. Tattoo isn’t just some drawing on skin. It’s a fragment of a story that would follow a person for the rest of their life.

Sean got up on his side, “Where do you want it to be?”

“I don’t know yet.”

He looked down to the black stripes on White’s left arm, then shifted to the other. “Right arm?” He rubbed it slowly. White only blinked. Not opposing the idea, but not agreeing either. Sean’s hand traveled up to his pecs. “How about here?” Sean smirked at the no-reaction. “Or…” He slid down to the navel and that’s when White finally caught his hand.

 “I don’t think I want it anymore.”

“Why not?”

“The artist is kinda a perv.”

It drew out a soft chuckle from Sean. “Tell me, why do you want me to in the first place?”

White shrugged, cupping Sean’s face and touching his earlobe. “You were sexy doing it.”

“Then you have nothing to complain, right?”

The day began with them eating each other’s face off again. As if it was a competition, whoever let go first loses. Whoever yielded loses. But Sean had lost to him long ago. He fears there’s no turning back.

 …

Notes:

I did say I like Black x anyone but SeanBlack?
Nah, not happening on my watch, but if anyone want them, this is the best I can give ;;)

Chapter 13: 12th Hour: The old days

Notes:

Anyone wanted to know how Black is doing?
I'm granting wishes!
Enjoy~

The glaring ray of sun brought back a distant memory. That was the first time he felt its warmth. Something hard poked his back when Black peeled open his eyelids, revealing an unfamiliar face. A skinny young boy around his age. Black had never met another boy his age, that doesn’t share the same face as him.

“Hia, ‘think I found them!”

“Them??”

Heavy footsteps came approaching in a hurry. Another face filled his line of sight. It’s an adult man. But he looked different than the ones he often met. He was muscular, twice as big as him.

“No way…” The man uttered in disbelief.

“What should we do?”

“...We take them back, as ordered.”

Black should be wary. Should fight. Should kill if he had to. But his limbs were numb and head was spinning as cold sweat ran down his back. It was probably the fever they talked about in medical class. But above all, White’s breath was growing weak. There’s only a 50-50 chance. Either these strangers brought them to yet another living hell or got them the needed help. Black used his last strength to hold White tightly one last time before they were picked up off the ground.

That was how Gumpa and Todd rescued them after the fire burned down the Pothiyakorn Manor. Rescue , a funny word. Because it’s true that their lives were saved, yet they’re then constantly risking it as well. Not that they had another choice, really. The brothers joined the organization Gumpa was in - the guild, it’s dubbed. Since then, they have been tracking down illegal sites to save people like them, like how Gumpa found them. They were a solid team, until Todd decided to throw away that bond.

 

“Rise and shine, darling~”

The blinding sunlight was the same, the face that welcomed him was not. Todd is no longer that skinny boy who bickered with him 24/7 yet shared his trust.

Black got up quickly, intending for a headbutt, which Todd dodged just in time. “Why are you still here?”

“Aww, is that how you talk to your savior?”

“Savior my ass.”

Admittedly, he had been careless. He was lurking around the ship after it boarded when he bumped into a guy doing his rounds. He made a commotion after realizing Black’s not part of the crew. So Black picked up a rod. It’s nothing. He was just going to knock him unconscious and stuff him somewhere until they dock tomorrow morning. Yet the bastard alerted more people than necessary.

That’s when Todd appeared out of nowhere.

 

“It’s okay, guys. He’s not a stowaway or something. He’s my bitch.”

Black wanted to whack that irritating grin off his face. But those real emotions were hidden well behind black mask. He settled with just deathly glare.

“Y-Your…?” Not even his henchmen were convinced. “Are you serious, Boss?”

“Yep!” They glanced at Black with his steel rod and then back to their boss. “What? You don’t believe me?”

“Well, Boss…”

Todd went over and draped his arm over Black, grabbing his face in a sickeningly adoring gesture. “Don’t look at him all grumpy like this. He’s actually really cute, you know?”

Black considered biting his finger off and fought the rest of them. But he was clearly outnumbered, with each person carrying at least a gun. Going along with Todd’s utter bullshit was a better choice than getting thrown out to the sea in a weighted sack.

“Right, baby?”

“Yeah,” he growled, smacking his hand away.

“I told you not to run off on your own, just stay close to me~”

It’s ridiculous. But those men forced out a strained smile anyway. Probably used to Todd’s strange hobbies. Now, Black refused to be one, but there are always better times to beat him up.

As soon as the crowd dispersed, Black escaped his grasp to hide in some corner of the ship. There were 4 more hours. He could hold out and eventually fled the ship before Todd found him. Nothing good would come out of meeting him here. It’s not very rare when they’re both actively lurking in the underworld. But it’s just his luck to get on the ship of Todd’s company.

 

Of course, Todd found him in the end.

“Look, I’m being so kind as to wake you up. But you’re so cold to me.”

“Drop the act, asshole. No one’s watching.”

Todd did stop, but his annoying smile never faltered. “Are you okay?”

Black paused briefly. “Unfortunately, yes.” If he’s referring to whether Black got hurt from last night’s fight.

“Good to hear,” Todd muttered, which Black let to fall on deaf ears. For it’s revolting, to see him pretend that he cared at all. Black wouldn’t ask why he helped him, nor would he acknowledge it. Because it’d seem like he’d forgiven him for his irredeemable deeds.

“What are you doing here? Miss me so much you have to infiltrate my ship?”

“Don’t push your luck.” He checked his bag to make sure nothing’s missing. “Just because I didn't kick your ass last night, doesn’t mean I won’t now.”

“You won’t~ I saved you~”

“And I won’t thank you.”

“Oh, you will.” Todd leaned forward, trapping Black against the wall. “I’ll make sure you return the favor later.”

Black narrowed his eyes, bumping him with his shoulder harshly. “Fuck off.”

Todd whined, soothing his chest but his smug grin was back on quickly. “You’re gonna leave just like that, babe?”

Black made a face, not answering. He strode away as soon as he gathered his stuff. The port was near from the window’s view.

“What about breakfast? I prepared some for you~”

He simply lifted a middle finger before disappearing into the dark corridor.

…

Black knows a little bit of Cantonese. At least enough to understand basic conversation. He couldn’t speak very well, but that won’t be needed as a server in this event. All he had to do was offer champagne to anyone that walked by. He had been doing just that the whole night, yet his target hadn’t shown up yet. Is it a bait, after all?

It’s the third day in Hong Kong, moving from one venue to another, following the clue that Gumpa’s informant provided. But Tawi appeared in none of them. Either he’s playing the long game or Gumpa’s guy is useless after all.

If he got nothing tonight as well, Black would have to fly back to Thailand. Leaving the country for too long doesn’t put him at ease.

The host of the event said something and the guests began cheering in unison. Black glanced at the stage. The slide on the screen changed to an old man's face, probably the company CEO or something. From what he understood, this event is about the launching of a new product. Tawi should be here as one of the investors. Though, the chance grew slim as one by one people went up the stage. Not even the shadow of that wicked man present.

Black turned around when his tray was getting light. Planning to quickly hand out the champagnes and call it a night.

“Can I have a glass, please?”

That’s when he changed his mind.

“Ai’Todd,” He cursed under his breath.

“Hmm, this server boy looks familiar.” Todd said, acting dumb. “Where have I seen you? Not in my bed last night, hopefully?”

If one ever wondered how Black got his nickname as the mad dog, they should consider asking Todd about it. “Are you following me here?” He asked, voice low and threatening. But it had never worked on this man.

“Whoa, calm down. I’m an invited guest, you see.”

“There’s no way.”

Todd had built his wealth through many connections in the past years. But that doesn’t make him part of the high socials on a worldwide scale. He must have bought the invitation. And the reason he’d go to that extent is none other than…

“Next, let us welcome from Thailand… Mr. Tawi K.!”

Cheers and claps thundered the venue as the mentioned man appeared on the stage. Black’s fist curled around the server tray, feeling his blood boiling at the mere sight of that moustache man.

“You’re not the only one after that guy.” Todd whispered next to him.

Black knew it. “There are others beside you.”

“They’re after his neck.”

“And you?”

“I need him alive.”

It’s irritating, how he and Todd are on different sides now, yet their objectives aligned. Tawi is not simply here for this launching event, he must have a secret meeting or deal somewhere after. Black needed him to live to go through with it. His ultimate goal is to get information and evidence. While Todd must be aiming for something to his own benefit.

“So I guess we’re saving his life tonight?”

Black scoffed. “ We ?”

“Work with me, Black.” Todd stated, not asking, sipping his champagne leisurely. “You don’t know how many of them are here. You’ll need someone to watch your back.”

“Last time, that someone stabbed me in the back.”

“To be fair, I got stitches on my head first thanks to you.”

He snorted, eyeing a bodyguard across the room that acted suspiciously. Tawi was still talking on the stage. “Nothing is fair between us, Todd.” Black reached for his gun. “Not ever since you threw away my trust.”

The bodyguard pulled the trigger. In the split second before it’s fired, Black shot first, hitting his arm. Screams pierced the air then. Panic enveloped, and soon the venue erupted into chaos with rain of bullets.

“Fuck, Ai’Black…!”

Black ignored Todd, marching against the sea of people while firing away. One by one impostors among the crowds appeared. From what he could make out, there’re at least four sides: Tawi’s men, Tawi’s enemy, the undercover cops, Black and Todd… Make that five. He and Todd aren’t on the same side, he insisted. But then Todd yanked him to hide behind a pillar.

“Watch out, you idiot!”

“Don’t need your help.”

“Yeah, and let your brain get blown out, sure!”

“He’s getting away!”

Black wriggled out of his hold and ran towards the back of the stage where Tawi had gone. Todd cussed after him, shooting and covering for them both as he followed behind. Black doesn’t have time for idle thought. Especially in the middle of a mission like this. Though he can’t help it when his brain feeds him flashes of distant memory.

The situation was far too familiar. Of them running with bullets over their heads. Explosives left and right. Each and every time, Black couldn’t care less about the danger, charging ahead to their target. Each and every time as well, despite complaining, Todd would come up with a way to save them both.

…Until he stopped doing it.

Why? After all this time. After leaving him to die. Now, Todd is trying to work and fight alongside him again. What’s his motive?

Tawi got in the car that was parked outside the back door. Black grimaced. He was so close! The bike he prepared was at the other side of the building. There’s no time to go get it. And as if that bastard Todd knew, the honk came.

“Get in, Black!” He shouted from his car window.

“Tch,” but he hopped on anyway. Only hanging by the sheer possibility that Todd won’t lead him to death’s door in this ride.

…

“You knew this would happen.”

Todd side-glanced him while making sure they’re still on Tawi’s tail. “More or less. Ain’t hurt to be extra prepared.” He is talking about the car, yet also felt like something more.

“How?”

“Well, things are easier when you have more resources.”

“If you got me in here just to tell me that, then drop me in front.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Todd accelerated instead. “Listen to me, Black. Just once. You’ve never tried to.”

“I will if you make any sense.”

“No one ever does for you! You only believe in your own thoughts! You’ve never changed!”

“I’ve survived and kept my brother safe all this time. So why should I change?”

“And until when??” Todd’s voice thundered as he hit the brake. They parked a distance away from where Tawi’s car stopped. “Do you want to live this way forever? Ideology alone won’t take you anywhere, but power will. Work with me, Black. And I don’t mean just this time. It can be like the old days again. We can accomplish anything together. You just gotta trust me and try to do it my way.”

Black stared at his opponent for a moment. There are some things in his speech that he can’t object to. There are still good in Todd despite how the said power had corrupted him. Which is the only reason Black had stuck around, cooked him food and let him live at all. But then again, a broken plate will never be the same anymore no matter how much gold coated its crack.

Black unbuckled quickly as he saw movement from the car in front. Todd followed soon, snapping out from the heated discussion. Tawi entered a motel near the petrol station. Two men guarded outside. So they went around it and found another door.

He picked the lock while Todd kept watch. Just like the old days, huh? Black despised those words with each fiber of his being.

“What I said earlier,” Todd whispered. “I hope you’d at least consider it.”

“Dream on.”

…

Notes:

Give me some noise for ToddBlack hehe
But for Todd haters, please bear with it for now :((

Chapter 14: 13th Hour: Grudge and debt

“Get them!”

“Stop!”

Gunshots blared. Black had run out of bullets to shoot back before long. So they sprinted out of the motel, through the narrow alley, hid behind the corners, then continued running. At one point, they finally shook off their pursuers, but still some distance away from Todd’s car.

Todd… He’d been awfully quiet.

“You still have the thing?” Asked Black. He nodded, showing the hard disk they’d stolen from Tawi. “Good,” Black took it from Todd, then began to notice his short breathing. “What’s wrong with you?”

Todd shook his head, but he’s sweating profusely. Before Black could say anything more, he slid off and collapsed on the floor.

“Ai’Todd!”

Then he felt something wet on Todd’s back. Blood. His shirt was drenched in blood. Black suddenly recalled a moment where Todd pushed him to a wall while they’re running. That must be when the shot got him.

This idiot!

For all the wrath and grudge he had towards this man, Black still felt his pulse running like crazy with concern. This shouldn’t be happening. He’s not letting Todd die in such an easy and heroic way. So Black dragged him to the car, drove to the nearest hospital and dumped him in front of the emergency room.

That should be the extent of what he should do. Black had more important things to deal with. Tawi had a secret meeting leading to a project that’s up to no good. He had to quickly check the hard disk content. But while driving away from the hospital, guilt began eating at him. With an exasperated sigh, he turned the wheel back.

Todd had been a huge hassle. Busybody. Persistent fool. He helped Black tailed Tawi, stole the file, and took a bullet for him. Even the car he’s driving right now is Todd’s. Black hated repaying debt, but he hated being called an ungrateful jerk even more.

After Todd’s all patched up, Black put on a nurse’s gown and snuck him out of the hospital. They passed by the police in the hallway, fortunately got away unnoticed. They’re both borderline criminals with definitely illegal travel permits. Nothing would go great from a questioning about Todd’s gunshot wound.

He brought him back to the inn at the slum, where Black had been staying. Todd was out for several hours. During the time, Black repeatedly reconsidered his choice. Throwing the guy out now maybe isn’t too late yet. He moaned in  his sleep. He’s feverish due to his injury. It’s pissing Black off big time. Yet to his dismay, he ended up making sure the guy stayed alive the whole night.

“Where’s this?” Asked Todd when he regained consciousness.

“My hideout.”

“Oh…”

Then Black heard a rustle of the sheet. He lifted up his face in alarm. “Hey, what the fuck are you doing?” Todd kept struggling to get up from the bed instead. Patience is not Black’s strongest suit. He dashed there and grabbed him still. “Quit that! Your wound’s gonna fucking open again!”

Then Todd, with his ragged breathing and all, sniggered. “Aw, are you worried about me~?”

“Asshole.” Black smacked him. But remembered he’s technically still a patient, so he grabbed him again and helped him sit up. “What do you want anyway?”

“Just some water...”

Black clicked his tongue.  “Say so then!” He went to grab a water  bottle.

“Well, didn’t think you’d give me any~”

“You think I’d bother bringing you here just to let you shrivel up and die?”

Todd took the bottle with the arm that could move. “Sounds like something you’d do.”

“That’s you. I’m not sick in the head like that.”

The wounded man laughed weakly. Black sat at his side, snatching the bottle of water again when he couldn’t open it. “Feed me too.”

“Bastard,” But Black did it anyway.

He drank almost half of it before asking, “Why did you bring me here?”

“Well, terribly sorry if you’d prefer five-star hotel, but rundown inn suits you much more.”

Todd laughed again. “That’s not what I mean.” He reached up, placing his hand on the back of Black’s neck. Weirdly, this time he didn’t feel like smacking him away. “You could have left me to die. Or just let me rot in jail. Black, you didn’t have to save me and you know well, I won’t be mad at you for that.”

“I could ask you the same.”

Amongst the nightmares that haunt him like a monster’s grip, one of them was Todd’s betrayal.

Todd had been bringing up his thoughts for a while then. He’d learn that the guild’s way was slow and inefficient. It’s one of the reasons why Gumpa and Todd were too late to the rescue, resulting in only Black and White surviving. Todd wanted to do things differently. Though, the way he proposed involved unethical ways of abusing power and money. It defeated the whole ideology behind their actions. It’s like shedding one’s blood to save another’s. Black scorned him for the idea of it at all.

Then came the cursed day. They were assigned to hijack an aircraft that carried illegal goods. The operation had gone smoothly, a little too smooth even. Black had horrible gut feelings the whole day. The signs were there all along. But when it came for real, he was still taken aback.

“I’m sorry, Black.” Todd had said before letting go, letting him fall from thousands of feet above ground.

Todd disappeared since. Built the wealth he has now from the goods in the aircraft he ran off with. He went from one of the top agents into the guild’s blacklist. They crossed paths again multiple times afterwards. Each time more tiresome than the other, yet the grudge never died down. What irritated Black even more than Todd’s blatant betrayal was the fact that he half-assed everything he does.

He dropped Black from a flying plane, after equipping him with a parachute and survival tools. He beat him up to a pulp for meddling with his business, just to call an ambulance right away. He drowned him in a pool after drugging him, just to pull him up halfway into it.

“If you’re gonna kill me, do it properly. Because if I get my chance to pull the trigger, I’ll make sure that I won’t miss.”

Todd, and the audacity he had to smirk. “You say that all the time. Yet I am here with you tonight. What does that make you?”

A pause, as he searched Todd’s eyes. He thought he knew him, but maybe that’s not really the case. “A complete idiot,” Black said. He got up from the bed. “But I won’t be stupid enough to do it all over again.”

“Black…”

“I don’t know what you’re plotting, but I can’t work with you ever again.”

“There’s no plot. I really want you back.”

Black stared with indifference. Those words held no credit at all.

“You don’t have to trust me. But you’ve seen how far I’ve come. Tonight is the perfect example, isn’t it?”

“You almost died, if I recall.” He scoffed.

“And that is because of your stubborn ass!”

“Which you didn’t have to cover for! Do you want me indebted to you that badly??”

Todd exhaled, he didn’t have much strength to shout back. “That’s not what I’m trying to do…”

“Then what?”

“I just want to show you. It will work, Black. I can help you achieve what you need. Then you and me… we can live the life we want at last. And White, I’m sure he has his own dream too. Why don’t you-”

“Enough, Todd. This talk is over.” He picked up the laptop he was using and made to the door. Hadn’t got all the time in the world to decode the stolen file. “Get some rest. Consider our grudges and debts clear from this time. Afterwards, we don’t have anything to do with each other anymore.”

“Black!” Todd called out as the last attempt. “Do you really want to be like this?! Living in hiding forever? Think about your brother ! Does he want this?”

Black exited the room anyway.

…

Notes:

It's been a month and such a short chapter should be a crime
but bear with me, I'll post the next one soon
Tell me your thoughts in the meantime~!

Chapter 15: 14th Hour: Identical face

Notes:

I see you lot appreciated the ToddBlack last time
That's nice but I'm sorry to say they may never appear again :(

Anyway, enjoy reading~

Sean put on a mask and turned around to White. He was sitting there in a daze. Probably thinking about changing his mind at the last minute. Some people do. Sean would respect his decision. But if he’s honest to himself, Sean didn’t want to stop. He’s dying to do this.

Sean walked over to him. “Take off your clothes.”

White looked up with those doe eyes - those cursed shiny orbs on the fine feature he would go to war for (not an exaggeration). Sean knows damn well he’s screwed.

Of all the clothes he had and could wear, White came in a long-sleeved jumpsuit with a front zipper. He unzipped it slowly, then pushed one side off his shoulder, revealing his right arm. Sean traced every movement intensely. White was definitely doing it on purpose.

“You want it here?”  He ran a finger on the revealed velvety skin. Never wished to throw away his latex glove so much before.

White nodded, looking up again. “Will it hurt?”

Sean bent down, closing in the distance, almost whispering, “You tell me. Not like it’s your first time, right?”

There was a pause before White’s lips curved into a smile. “Please do it already, Mr. Artist~”

Change of mind. He kind of didn't want to do the tattoo anymore. “Little shit…” Sean muttered, “You’re gonna get it later.” He went to get some rubbing alcohol as White giggled.

While Sean had never put a label to his sexuality, he’d hardly dated a man before. Mostly because he found none of the men around him attractive. Until White came into town and wreck all his beliefs (not that he’s a strong believer). There’s something about him that’s so captivating, like a sexy virgin - which is wild, considering he is not. Especially when he chose to wear glasses. Sean didn’t even know he had such a kink. Or he developed one? Because of White? Well, sounds about right.

Sean gave up trying to reason with himself. For now he focused on the work. It’s important, not only for his job, but also because he’s giving it to White.

Sean had first done tattoo without much thought. He was a poor drop-out student, needing money to live. He could ask Gram’s dad for a job at the garage, but Yok was already there. At that time, he got to know Gumpa. Slowly, Sean found the appeal to tattooing. He isn’t nosy enough to ask each customer, but it’s interesting to see life through the tattoos they choose to put on their bodies.

Some were chosen to immortalize happy memories, to remind one of their roots. Some served as an anchor to keep life going, to alert one of their bitter past. Some simply as a statement, proof of the present and of the living.

Whatever reason White has, whatever the meaning behind his is, Sean was simply happy to be part of the story. So he sat back and enjoyed the ride while it lasted. Because while he has the full 24 hours now, there’s no knowing what comes tomorrow.

…

Black’s supposed to come back today. The real one. Not White, the impostor. Much regretfully, White almost forgot about it. Sean was cuddling him and drawing circles on his arm when he jumped up to his phone ringing. He hurriedly put on his pants. Sean sat up alarmed, but White quickly gave him a reassuring smooch before fleeing the room.

Only when he slammed the door close in his own room that he picked up.

“What took you so damn long?” Black scoffed.

White yawned, fixing his hair with the video call as a mirror. “Sorry, I just woke up…”

“What are you wearing?” His brother squinted and looked closer.

He looked down, realizing it was Sean’s shirt. “O-Oh, it’s an old shirt… the one I thought I lost at the laundry. Turns out I still have it!”

Black looked skeptical but he let it go when Gumpa joined the call. White exhaled in relief. He had no idea who Black would shoot to death if he found out that Sean had been sleeping with ‘Black’. Most likely Sean. But maybe White too. Probably both.

“Tawi was here. It’s right to come here.” Black said when White tuned in the conversation.

“Yeah,” Gumpa agreed. “I got nothing here. Totally a bait.”

“Now I know why he needed one. There’s an ambush at the party yesterday. And Tawi had a secret meeting afterwards.”

“What was it about?” asked White.

“Seems like he’s trying to get involved with another sick project. He put a lot of money in it. I don’t know the details yet. But we managed to steal the file.” Black was trying to decode it as they’re speaking, attention divided to half and only realized he let it slip when White picked up.

 “ We ?”

Black paused. Gumpa caught up, furrowing his brows. “Who are you with?”

White noticed a figure moving at the bed behind Black. “Who’s that??”

His brother rolled his eyes, as if talking about it would take away all his time and breath. “I met Todd.” He simply said.

Both White and Gumpa’s eyes widened. There were way too many questions that popped up in their heads. But neither were necessarily concerned.

“Ho-”

“Before you ask anything, stop there! I don’t have time for story-telling.”

White pouted. Being nosy is his duty as a brother.

“Anyway, I’m calling just to tell you guys I can’t go back yet.”

“Why??”

“As I said, someone tried to kill Tawi. The event was full of rich folks, so the security is getting tight at the borders. I can’t leave the country easily.”

Gumpa nodded in agreement. “Yeah, lie low for the time being. I’ll send someone to pick you up once the inspection gets more loose.”

Black hummed, then cursed under his breath at his laptop.

“Can you crack it? Let me see.” Black switched the camera to the laptop screen. While Black is good on the field, this is more of White’s expertise. “Oh, I see… I’ll send you that software I made. Run it then it should break through the remaining security settings.”

“Okay.”

“Oh, my ride's here,” said Gumpa. “Talk to you guys later. Be careful out there, Black.”

The older of the three left the group call. Black was about to hang up as well when he caught White staring at him through the screen. “What?”

“...You’re alright, aren’t you?”

“Well, did you feel anything?”

He didn’t. These past few days he felt light, sometimes almost hollow. On one hand, he was a little bit high of having all day to himself, to be with Sean whenever he wanted. On another, there’s the constant chill and queasy feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t feel the link that connected him to Black.

For most people, when away from someone they love, no news might mean good news. That is not the case for them. They don’t have any written identity in this world. No birth certificate, no driving license, nothing. If they die somewhere the other couldn’t reach, they won’t ever find each other again.

“You’re far away. The telepathy doesn’t work.”

Black snorted at the silly name. “As you can see. I’m fine. Just some scratch…”

“But?”

Black glanced back briefly. “Ai’Todd got shot.”

“Oh, no!” White gasped. “He took the bullet for you…?”

His brother didn’t make a remark on that, but White knew he hit the bull’s eye. That’s the only reason Black would stay with him after all.

“But I’m glad.” White sighed. “I mean, it’s terrible that Todd got hurt. But I’m glad he’s there with you. I know he’ll keep you safe, so I won’t worry too much.”

“Hey,” scolded Black, pointing finger at him. “Don’t side with him so fast. He saved me once, but he also tried to kill me multiple times.”

“Okay, sure~”

The call ended after Black grumbled some more, started nagging too at one point. White was smiling about it until he took off his shirt to hop into the shower. His reflection on the mirror looked back at him as the realization dawned. The new tattoo and the slightly red skin around it. The fresh wound was healing a tad faster than any normal person. A harsh reminder to the reality that he isn’t like other people.

Remorsefully, White sometimes imagined what his life would be without Black. One day is enough. Having one day only to himself, that he is one of his kind and not anyone’s shadow. He got to experience it somehow and it was fun, but it seems he had gotten carried away.

He shouldn’t have gotten the tattoo. Now White traced it with complicated feelings. He loves it, not only for the meaning behind it, but also because Sean gave it to him. It’s like a mark, like a proof that what they have is real. But he also traced the striped tattoos on the other arm. There’s a specific reason why he and Black made the exact same modifications on their bodies. Him getting one for himself was as though detaching himself from Black. The realization that he’s doing it on purpose hit him like a thunder.

White wrapped his arm around himself and crouched down. Soft whimper escaped as he tried to hold it in. He dug his nails into his skin, the tips turning white. He can’t possibly choose one and abandon another. But above everything, he despised himself that even for a brief moment, he wanted Black gone.

Seeing that identical face on the screen today only proved otherwise. He missed Black. He wanted the connection back. And he never wants a life without his only brother left.

…

That day, White dreamt of a distant past. As if he’s reliving every single moment of it…

It’s a wonder, truly. This world they lived in, it’s said to be a fake one. Yet the wind blew, the sunray was hot and the rain poured. They’re exactly like what’s written in books and narrated in films.

“Ah, there you are, 12!”

Subject T-012, or they just shortened it to 12, was the lone wolf among the brothers. 21 never understood why he was the way he is. But he loves every brother the same. Well, maybe, secretly, not all the same. There’s 22, the brother born half a minute later than him, making him 21’s only baby brother. He loved him the most.

Anyway, everyone got along normally, except for 12. He often separated from the group to read or train alone. But when a brother’s in trouble, he’s always the first to rush there, beating 21 to the race. That’s why 21 faithfully looked for him each time.

“What?” 12 answered with a growl. Never failed to impress 21. He sounded cool. They share the same vocal cords, so he could probably make a sound like that too if he tried.

“What are you doing outside alone? We’re eating cake! Come join us!”

12 sighed, closing his book. “I don’t know why you insist on calling this ‘outside’. We all know no matter where we go, it’s ‘inside’.”

Killing the vibe, as always. 21 would love to debate him about a lot of things, but 12 is a sore loser. It won’t end soon. “It’s fine. I’m just trying to get used to the word for when we go outside one day.”

21 walked away, expecting the other to follow, which he did. While they’re on the way to the dining hall, 12 mumbled under his breath. “Outside, huh? Will that day even come?”

They’re polar opposites, which strangely pulled them together instead of setting them apart. One is an optimist, thinking about the bright side of every situation. While another is a pessimist, bracing about the worst outcome of every circumstance. 21 admired 12 for the quality the other had that he didn’t. But secretly, he thought his way was definitely better.

Turns out, he was wrong at the most crucial time.

That night was silent, eerily silent, as if something vile was lurking in the dark and not a soul dared to make sound. But it didn’t make sense. What would endanger them in a room full of their own brothers?

Before long, the silence became chaos. Brothers became foes. White walls and tiles dyed red. T-021 realized at last, nothing made sense anyway. Not their lives. Not their existences. Nothing was meaningful anymore, especially when T-022, who he protected, ended up stabbing him with a kitchen knife.

More than the pain in his abdomen, his heart shattering hurt ten folds more. T-022’s tearful apology fell on deaf ears. No reason could justify his action. T-021 made a detailed plan for all of them to take down the system and escape together. They instead wanted to save only themselves. It was despicable and unfathomable. And he didn’t want to feel anymore. Didn’t want to witness his beloved people culling each other anymore.

Hence, he let his consciousness drift away. It’s easier that way. He wouldn’t last long with the amount of blood he’s losing. But then, death, who’s been knocking on his door, was mercilessly kicked away by someone. Someone that shouldn’t be there. Someone that still loved him.

“You’re alive!” 12 shouted, sounding relieved.

21 opened his eyes to a face identical to him. He was panting and possibly crying yet without the tears flowing down. Everything was silent again. The only ones breathing were the two of them.

12 was strong and cruel. He wielded his weapon and struck anyone coming his way with ill intention, evil scientists and his blood-brothers alike. 21 would probably never understand how he could do it. But it saved both of them. It was the necessary thing to be done.

He then proceeded to follow the escape plan and got them out of the underground. To the outside world. Where the real wind blows, the real sunray stings and the real rain pours.

…

Notes:

I really hope I'm cooking with this chapter
But it feels weird when I reread it
But idk how to fix it so I'll die on this hill

Chapter 16: 15th Hour: The hardest mission

Notes:

I'm here to celebrate the start of Burnout Syndrome era
Can't wait for another P'Nuchy masterpiece
Meanwhile let's dive back down to this humble work inspired by hers

Enjoy~

The sizzle from the pan or smell of sauteed tomato and onion must have woken Sean.  White could hear him shuffling out of bed, approaching. Before long, a pair of arms snaked around White’s waist and settled there.

“You’re awake, sleepyhead?”

Sean hummed, sounding still half-asleep. “What are you making?”

“Shakshouka. Have you ever eaten some?”

He shook his head, chin on White’s shoulder. “What is that?”

“It’s poached eggs simmered in tomato sauce.”

“Smells so good,” Sean said, sniffing his nape. “I wanna wake up to this every day.”

White smiled. He would love that too, knowing well it’s impossible. White loves Sean. His heart bleeds for him like never before. But he’s also aware of Sean’s occasional caution towards him. He had been swayed, extremely careless for bringing Sean into his room once. Sean snooped around it and White had no idea how much he’d seen. The tattoo talk then distracted him, but there’s no saying what Sean would do afterwards. Black would undoubtedly kill him once he found out. White had to do something before that.

The best he could come up with is leaving that man. Cut ties with him. Like what Black did with Eugene… He could already hear his own heart break thinking about it. But there’s no escaping fate. He’s not meant to lead a normal life the moment he’s born into this world.

White covered the pan with a lid to let the eggs cook. “Like this, can you still say you’re not addicted?” Sean got quiet. White turned the fire on low heat before turning around, showing off his dimples, urging for an answer.

“Yeah, I’m addicted now. And I want no quit from it.”

White was stunned at such straightforward answers. It made Sean cocky.

“What? Are you blushing?” He pecked him on the lips before smirking. “If you can’t handle it, don’t taunt Phi too much, Nong.”

“What ‘Phi’?? We’re the same age!”

“Are you sure? I think you’re definitely younger than me.”

“That can’t be true…”

“Come, try calling me P’Sean.”

“No way!” White turned beet red. He pushed his chest with all might, but Sean held him tightly.

“Why not? Try it.”

“Why should I? Does that make you excited?” He probed Sean’s pants.

Wrong question, wrong move. Because the kiss that came after was inevitable. So White made sure he’d turned off the stove before getting hoisted up and thrown on a soft surface. Later, regrettably, Sean succeeded in bullying him into calling him P’Sean. It’s something mortifying that White would bury six feet under, and the fact that he kind of liked it too.

…

White just took out the trash, then headed back to his room while humming to the song My Eyes Adored You . He stopped the instant he touched the door knob. It didn’t feel right. Like someone had tampered it, and they’re skilled and meticulous enough to not let it show. But White went through hellish training to be able to tell.

White opened the door normally, as not to alert his intruder. He darted his eyes around, stepping in. Nothing seemed out of order at first glance. He crouched down slowly, trying to grab something as a weapon.

Someone got him from behind then. White gasped, had not heard any footsteps. But was quick enough to notice the rope around his neck. He inserted his fingers in the gap before it tightened. Various things flooded his brain then. Black’s words resonated in his head. “You’ve gotten soft!” and all that crap with a reprimanding tone.

White hit the person with his elbow repeatedly until they let go. Freed from the rope, he scrambled up and grabbed a decorative wooden owl from the shelf. Though before White could swing it, he got a better look at his assaulter.

“Black?!”

White dropped the owl at once, tense shoulders sagging at the same time. His brother nonchalantly rubbed his rib. “Not bad. At least you’re still alert.”

“What were you doing?? That scared the hell outta me!”

“Just a quick test.”

White was speechless. His heart almost leaped out from his mouth. Black, following Gumpa’s footsteps, likes to pull sudden tests that put lives in danger. White and Todd often complained about the unhealthy heart exercises. With Todd gone, White’s their only victim now. For that alone, White won’t ever forgive the guy. How dare he get away on his own.

“Since when are you back?? Why didn’t you tell me? Does Hia Gumpa know?!”

Black groaned. “Don’t be loud,” He moved to lay on the sofa. “I haven’t slept yet. My head hurts.”

White watched him, eyeing around the room and saw an opened can of spam on the kitchen counter. It’s half-eaten, a fork next to it. “Are you hungry? I’ll make you something.”

His brother only hummed, making himself comfortable. “Call Gumpa to come later. We need to talk.” He said, before falling asleep.

If White were to compare Black with the weather, he’s a sudden storm. Often comes unexpectedly and calms just as quickly. He caught you off guard but also brought the much-needed rainfall for the dry land. White always feels safer with his brother in arm’s reach.

However, the storm that came this time was a bit too overwhelming for White to handle.

Black scooped the stuffed omelette rice and ate quickly once he’s up. He must’ve been starving. White had a mountain of questions, but he wanted him to savor the meal first.

“You know, while waiting for Gumpa, let’s talk first.” Black started. “I need you to do something.”

“What is it?”

A pause as he swallowed. “Break up with Ai’Sean.”

White was quiet. He knew this day’s coming. He wished he had more time to prepare. At the same time, he’s aware that he had plenty, just never the resolution to end it before it’s too late.

“If you can’t do it, I will.”

“No.”

Black looked up at him.

“I… I’ll do it. Give me some time… but, please don’t kill him before that.”

“Do it quickly then. We don’t have much time.”

“Why?”

“Our enemy’s caught up to us. We have to leave the town soon.”

…

He won’t do it.

Black knew his brother. White is too soft-hearted to hurt anyone he ever loved. Black would have to take the matter into his own hands. At least, he’d give him his word. He won’t kill the tattooist, unless necessary.

So Black waited until White went to bed. He was going through the wardrobe for White’s clothes when the owner shifted in his sleep. He sprung up in panic when he couldn’t move his left hand. Metal handcuff rattled against the bed frame.

“Black! What’s this?! Another test??”

Black ignored him, pulling out a white tank top and blue jacket. “Don’t make too much noise. You’ll wake people up.”

“What are you doing? Why are you-” White paused as the realization sunk in. “No…! Don’t, Black! Please!” He shouted in horror. “You said you’ll give me time!”

“I take that back.”

“You can’t do that all the time! Please…”!

Black finished his disguise as White. He came closer and patted the real one on the head. “It’s alright. It will be over in an instant. Just stay here and don’t get in the way.”

Black blamed himself for not doing this sooner. Or that one time he didn’t break Sean’s heart hard enough. He hated that he himself was getting soft and forgiving when the world had always been nothing but cruel to them. He allowed himself to indulge in the momentary happiness, the same time that he cut his brother some slack. And it’s going to come back to bite them in full force. Sean couldn’t be trusted. Regretfully, neither did Eugene.

It was, for the longest time, the hardest mission to do. Leaving Eugene also left a hole in his own chest, the wound gaping and never seemed to stop bleeding. But he’d gone through it somehow before it got too deep. So at least he’ll do it for White, to spare his brother from the pain of breaking his loved one’s heart. If Black had to be a bad guy, so be it.

He left White chained to the bed, taking his phone away as well. As he closed the door behind, White’s teary-eyed plea still haunted him. 

…

The sliding door to the studio was opened with grating noise. Sean turned around with a frown, not expecting guests at this ungodly hour. But those brows raised upon seeing the newcomer.

“Bla… Hmm, White?”

Black watched the man put down his tools and approached him.

“What’s up? Why didn’t you tell me you’re coming?”

“You didn’t reply.”

“Oh? Right, sorry… I was cleaning up and my phone died.” Sean held his hand. “Miss me?”

He did that so naturally, it pissed Black off somehow. “I need to talk to you.”

There seemed to be a gap in their exchange that confused Sean. He’d never been able to do a good impersonation of White after all. But it didn’t matter. The guy wouldn’t ever see White nor Black anymore after tonight.

“Okay… Come in first.” Sean pulled him in but Black tugged back.

“No need. I’ll be quick.”

“Is something wrong, White? You look unwell…” The taller of the two placed his hand on his forehead, talking in a sickly sweet tone. “Doesn’t seem like a fever.” It made Black more certain that he’d have to do this. White would never be able to.

Black removed his hand. “Sean, let’s break up.”

There was a pause, as if the world stopped spinning for a split second. “...What?”

“You heard me.” Black said. “Don’t come look for me again.”

“No, what do you mean?”

He took a deep breath. This is why he was against this relationship from the start. “I don’t think you’re that dense to not get it.”

“Well, I don’t.” Sean held his wrist with force. “Explain it to me, what’s going on?”

“Nothing that concerns you.”

“White…!”

“Now, let go. I’m busy.”

But Sean wasn’t loosening his grip.

“Let go.”

“Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on!”

“I said, let go!” Black scowled, but it didn’t work quite well. Sean had gotten more persistent than before, when Black could still scare him and keep him at bay. Worse, he began to corner Black to the nearest wall.

“Are you in a rush? To where? Can’t wait to go die and be reborn or something??”

“What the fuck…”

“You came into my life as you like. Don’t think you can leave easily.”

Black didn’t like where this was going. Sean isn’t just a stalker but also an obsessive bastard. He still couldn’t accept this man, but it’d be a lie if he didn’t understand White. Sean has the same eyes as Eugene. Captivating and undaunted, despite their attempt to stay reserved for some unknown reason. Which was the more reason for Black to end this quickly, if White doesn’t want Sean to walk the suicide path they’re going down.

He yanked Sean closer by his collar, catching the latter off guard. Then swung a punch to his face. Sean fell back hard, knocking down some chair and trolley in the process.

“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want. You can’t stop me.”

Sean pushed himself up, blood dripped down his nose to the floor where his tools were scattered. In all honesty, Black would prefer it if he fought back. It’d be much easier. He’d be less sorry.

“White… Why?” He asked, clutching onto Black’s sleeve. “What we've been through all this time, does it mean nothing to you?”

“I told you from the start. It’s just a game. And now I’m sick of playing it.” Black smacked his hand away, making sure to not break eye contact. It grated his own heart, because he knew that look well.

“Not true…! You’re lying, Black. I’m your girlfriend. You can tell me anything. Please…”

“I know it’s not. And I know you have a lot going on. You can tell me about it.”

Eugene’s whimper in his head overlapped with Sean’s voice. It was too much even for Black. He got up to leave, but Sean pulled relentlessly.

“Wait, don’t go! Talk to me first, White!”

In the tug of war, Black’s jacket accidentally came off a little and Sean halted. He was stunned, staring at his exposed arm. Black couldn’t figure out what’s going on, but he had a bad feeling. So he quickly pulled away, fixing his clothes.

He headed for the exit, drilling it one last time. “Don’t come to the shop anymore. Or else, don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

…

“Hia, hurry up!” White rushed him as Gumpa tried to unlock the handcuff he’s stuck on. “Black has gone nuts! He’d beat Sean to death! I have to hurry there!”

“Calm down! He won’t!”

It had been godsent when Gumpa came just in time. He knocked on the door with the familiar morse code, so White screamed to him for help. Initially, White had wanted him to go to where Sean and Black is. They could be talking civilly, or on each other’s throat as of now, with the latter being more likely. Gumpa could stop the fight. He could save lives! Instead, he focused on freeing White. It was frustrating to say the least.

“Black knows what he’s doing. I won’t interfere with his choice.”

“But, Hia…!”

“Trust your brother, White.”

“Does he trust me??”

The handcuff opened with a click. But White didn’t find himself rushing anywhere. Gumpa looked at him, waiting for him to go on.

“Black never trusted me to do or decide anything on my own.” White heard his own voice breaking, the sniffle coming. “I’m his brother, am I not? But why do I feel more like a living burden to him, Hia?”

Gumpa held his gaze. “Do you honestly think that, White?”

“...I-I don’t know. I just-”

The front door then opened and slammed close in a heartbeat. Black stomped in with a fuming face. The two turned to him promptly. White stood up as his brother charged at him. He wondered what Black was so angry about when he’s supposed to be the furious one. Then Black grabbed his arm, pushed his sleeve up roughly. Cold sweat dripped down his temple then. Instinctively, White reached to cover it, knowing how futile it was.

His right arm was exposed then, with brand new red marks and black ink in circular shape on its skin. Black froze at the sight. White had no words to describe the wrath on his face that’s about to unfold.

“You…” Black asked, in a slow but menacing tone. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

White was suddenly mute. No words formed in his head nor left his throat. Gumpa stood up to see what the commotion was about.

“Huh? Did you get a new tattoo? Since when?”

“Does it matter?? The problem is why??”

Why, indeed…

“It’s that fucker, isn’t it? What’s on your mind that you let him do this to you??”

“No…! It’s not Sean’s fault. I asked him for it…”

That set him off even more. Black grabbed White by the collar. “You… what now?!”

“I know I was reckless, but-”

“You’re out of your mind! You just created a way for people to tell us apart, stupid brat!” Black screamed, and it’s like a splash of ice water to his face. “You’re gonna get us both killed!”

“Black!” Gumpa scolded. But not even him could put out the fire at the moment.

“Hia…” White begged. It’s outrageous, he’s aware and he didn't wish for Black to understand. Just listening to him would suffice, maybe Black would see his point.

“What? What do you want to say? What good reason do you have to do this?”

“I don’t. I… just love him.”

“So what? You know the outcome of loving someone for people like us!”

“I know! I know how it’ll end up. But at least I want to remember him. Is that too much to ask? I just want proof that someone that loves me for who I am exists out there.”

“Are you sure? Will he love you if he knows you’ve been lying to him this whole time? Will he accept who you are indiscriminately?”

That rendered White speechless. He was not sure. Neither did Black. And White should know that those doubts came from Black’s own insecurity as well. Yet at the moment, he was a stupid brat, like what Black said.

“All you did is put him in danger for even associating with you. Or he could be the danger itself. We never know. When will you learn, White? Grow up already!”

“If… If growing up means becoming like you, then I don’t want to!”

“What…?”

White pushed his brother away. “Hia, you won’t understand! Have you ever loved someone in your life?”

The night was late. White’s words echoed through the room. Words that he couldn’t take back once it’s out.

“How about Kru Gene? Gram? Or even Todd? Do you love any of them?”

“White!” Gumpa warned.

“Do you ever care about how they feel? Do you think about anyone but yourself? You don’t! ‘Cuz if you do, you will never discard them so easily like that!”

“White, that’s enough!” Gumpa finally shouted. “Both of you actually! You’re brothers, for god’s sake! Can’t you talk it out nicely?”

“No, he’s right.” Black calmly said. His earlier rage suddenly dissipated into a blank expression. “Maybe I never did. I only love myself, so I will do anything to save myself. Even if it means breaking up you and Sean.”

White was panting, eyes darted around in confusion. He had never seen Black like that.

Black turned and pulled a chair to sit down on. “Anyway, what’s done is done. Now that nothing’s holding you back here, we gotta move fast.” He said, as if the heated argument earlier didn’t happen.

“You mentioned leaving the town.” Gumpa asked, while White’s still too stunned to process. “Why the rush? What happened?”

“I’ll tell you what happened in Hong Kong. Then, you’ll see what I did is necessary.”

…

Notes:

I'm writing the ending of this fic atm but gdi it's hard
Now I see why all these BL series fuck up the endings
it's hard to make a nice satisfying ending :'')