Chapter Text
The PR Wars…
Episode 1: The True Enemy is Revealed
Lisa was not having a good day. No. Scratch that, she had not been having a good month.
Sure, the Undersiders had managed a stunning number of successes in the past month: pulling off the bank despite unexpected forces, surviving Bakuda, capturing Lung, stopping Purity’s rampage, and even pulling off a publicity event meant to discredit the Protectorate in the midst of one of their publicity events were all great achievements. For any aspiring super villain, it would be a resume which they could be proud of.
However, Lisa could freely admit that the number one reason for their success could be attributed to the vicious, ruthless, powerful, gentle, attractive, vulnerable, looking entirely too good in her skintight bodysuit, with legs that never seemed to end and deserved their own monument, and in desperate need of just the right woman to shower her with affection and help her grow into her natural beauty who would afterwards return that affection with wide, passionate eyes as she ran her hands against Lisa’s cheek and leaned into delicately capture Lisa’s breathless lips in a kiss which only heightened the growing fires of their passion as they then proceeded to…!
Lisa mentally reset her train of thoughts, purposefully putting the previous ones aside. She entirely blamed the whole thing on her powers. Stupid powers.
She was not blushing as she did so. Anyone who claimed otherwise was a filthy liar. Or Alec. Or both.
Anyway, Lisa could attribute a lot of their success to the inclusion of their new member Skitter, Taylor Hebert, and the versatility and ingenuity with which she used her power in support of their initiatives.
However, like all good things, it seemed like Lisa was destined to not have good things.
“Powers on,” Brian shouted from the main room, dragging Lisa from her downward spiraling thoughts.
“That’s a good step one,” Alec shouted back in a lazy drawl. “But the important part is step two: do we have TV yet?”
Lisa rolled her eyes at the very Alec question. Then she perked as she realized something, and hurried out of her room.
“You do know that we’re basically in a post-apocalyptic society right now?” Brian prompted dryly. “Rubble everywhere, power and water out, driving the itinerant population to ever increasing levels of depravity as they fight for the basics of survival that were once so common but have become precious and rare? That the very act of having power and running water is enough to either set us up as kings, or cause roving bands of raiders to attempt to kill us and usurp our home?”
“Soon, my dog of war, but it must be on my term,” Alec chimed in gamely.
Rachel’s ears perked, and she turned silently to glare at Alec.
“Not those kinds of dogs,” Alec told her.
Rachel lost interest in the conversation and turned back to her actual dogs.
“Being around you feels like a constant drain on my intelligence. I assume it’s your power’s fruitless attempts to bolster your own meager intellect by depriving the rest of us of ours,” Lisa told Alec cheerfully. “Now shut the hell up. Brian, is the TV up and running?”
“What, you’re not wanting to start gaming too, are you?” Brian asked, a touch confused.
“See, even Lisa knows we need to get some gaming on,” Alec chimed in, completely ignoring Lisa’s very subtle and polite way of trying to get him to shut up.
“Burn slowly in a fire, so I can roast the popcorn I’ll eat watching your demise before you finish expiring,” Lisa advised him, before making the conscious effort to remove him entirely from her attention. “And no. According to PHO, SHE’s going to be debuted today.”
“Ah,” Brian grunted, expression turning dour. “Yeah. That.”
Alec snorted, and rolled his eyes, and Rachel grunted once, frowning mightily.
Lisa knew she should count the Undersiders lucky in a way: somehow, against all odds, they had all managed to come out of an Endbringer fight alive, though Rachel might argue against that with the loss of some of her dogs. The fact that they were all breathing, and whole, was a minor miracle in and of itself.
But what came immediately afterwards made that lack of loss feel like a joke.
Skitter’s unmasking, the attack on her Shadow Stalker, and the breaking of the Endbringer’s Truce wasn’t something that anyone could have really expected. Nor the facts of Armsmaster’s own breaking of the Truce. Combined with the presence and knowledge of those actions by the Triumvirate was even worse. With the potential loss of faith and trust, it was a very real chance that future Endbringer fights would be gutted as villains refused to show up.
With the PRT and the Protectorate basically forced to investigate and make examples, it was only a matter of time before Skitter’s identity would come out, despite the Unspoken Rules, which would only make the situation worse.
It was a disaster, plain and simple. And of course, beautiful, noble, STUPID Taylor had to go and choose to do something heroic. Faced with all the mounting potential consequences, she proposed a desperate plan to prevent the public relations nightmare.
Taylor would join the Wards, providing all the evidence they needed to spin the attacks as personal issues which were already being addressed. Shadow Stalker would be thrown to the wolves, Armsmaster would have a quiet disgrace, and the rest of the mess would be covered up with the public redemption story of a troubled but good-hearted young girl being awoken to the power of good, and friendship and love, etc…
Lisa was of two minds on the whole subject, honestly. On one hand, it meant that having a daily dose of those incredible legs in her life would no longer be present, and for that Lisa would murder in rage.
On the other hand, now, as a villain, she could potentially kidnap Taylor for indeterminate amounts of time, holding her captive and doing all sorts of naughty, villainous things to her helpless, nubile body…
Lisa surreptitiously wiped some drool away from the thoughts, focusing back on the present.
“I’m starting a betting pool,” Alec declared, grinning. “It’s on whatever incredibly stupid and tacky new name and costume they give the dork. I have five bucks on red with black dots, and she gets the name ‘Lady Bug’.”
“Oh, that is adorable,” Lisa stroked her chin. “I mean reprehensible. That’s awful. Terrible. You’re a horrible person for even entertaining these thoughts, and you deserve to be cast out in the streets. Also, I got five on yellow and black, with the name ‘Bumblebee’ or something equally stupid and themed.”
“I know I should feel bad about this, but I’m in too,” Brian grunted, stroking his chin in thought. “And considering the inverse law of villainous redemption, I’m going with something bright pink, and with the name ‘Rosy Maple’.”
“Inverse law of villainous redemption?” Alec cocked his head to the side in confusion. Lisa rolled her eyes at the moron.
“The scarier a villain was when they were a villain, the more harmless and stupider looking they have to be when they get flipped,” she told him. Honestly, Alec was from a villain family. How did he not know something so basic?
“Black,” Rachel grunted, tossing a handful of bunched up bills in the pot. “Skitter.”
“Oh, taking the longshot, hmm,” Alec chuckled. “I don’t think there’s ever been a villain flip without a rebrand before. Fine, if you pull this off, I’ll pay double.”
“I’m down,” Brian agreed with a snort.
“Considering the sheer impossibility of it,” Lisa began, rolling her eyes at the incredible improbability of the PRT allowing Skitter to remain Skitter. Then she trailed off, and considered just how many times Skitter had managed to pull off the incredibly improbable. “You know what, it would be worth it. I’m down too.
“Now,” she continued imperiously. “TV. On. Do it.”
“Are we even sure she’s getting an announcement?” Brian grumbled, obediently getting the TV on, and grabbing the remote to adjust the channel.
“It was announced on PHO that the PRT was getting a new Ward, and the announcement would be today,” Lisa told him with a shrug. “And how many other new Wards could they possibly be talking about?”
“Oh, here it is,” Alec nodded at the screen.
The screen itself displayed what looked like a generic podium on a stage. In the background was a large video screen that was currently projecting the PRT and Protectorate logos. Standing in the background was Assault, looking slightly bored. He was the only member of either organization present at the time.
Lisa assumed that it was due to the lack of manpower. It was no small thing to patrol a city ruined by an Endbringer, and it was probably all hands-on deck until reinforcements arrived.
Even as the Undersiders settled down to watch the upcoming announcement, Assault perked, straightening and putting a hand to his ear. Lisa judged that they had tuned in at just the right time as Assault stepped up to the podium.
“Thank you all for gathering today…” the hero began.
Alec immediately began mocking him.
“Boo, hiss, get off the stage,” he catcalled the TV. “We have a bet to settle!”
“Daddy needs a new pair of shoes,” Brian added, rolling his eyes but getting into the spirit of it.
“I don’t actually care about the money, I just want to be proven right,” Lisa helpfully chimed in.
“Whatever,” Rachel grunted, honestly not giving a shit.
“… and as such, I am proud to present the newest member of the ENE Wards, Apiary!” Assault concluded, the screen behind him changing to spell out the new name for the rebranded villain.
“Yes!” Lisa cheered, “Called it!”
Taylor, Apiary now Lisa guessed, stepped out from behind a curtain, and sure enough, to Lisa’s prediction was now in a cheerful yellow and black ensemble. As though to add further insult to injury, she even had two bouncy balls on wires coming out of her costume’s mask, mimicking antennas.
It was awful, and Lisa was seriously torn on how to proceed. The next time they met, in the field of battle, should she mock the other girl’s misfortune in her new costume, or make sure to lead her off someplace private where Lisa could console her and be a friendly shoulder to cry on?
…At least, that was what Lisa began to consider, before she noticed something odd about Apiary’s new costume. It was fuzzy, and looked awkwardly thick, and was it moving…?
Just as Lisa realized something was up, she could also see Assault stiffening, and then Taylor’s new costume came apart, showing that rather than being bee themed, it had, in fact, been made OUT of bees.
Bees that lifted off, revealing a familiar and ominous black costume. The bees themselves flew with intelligent design, settling on the screen behind her, blacking out the name ‘Apiary’, and assembling themselves instead into…
“Hello, people of Brockton Bay, and the rest of our nation. I am Skitter,” the menacing form behind the podium declared, reaching up and pulling off the bobbling antennas as the bees spelling out her name behind her buzzed loud enough to be picked up by the microphone. “I’m certain many of you are familiar with me.”
“Oh. My. God,” Brian stared, gaping.
“Did Skitter just heist her own announcement ceremony?” Alec asked, sounding reluctantly impressed.
“I win,” Rachel declared, gathering up the money.
“That beautiful bitch,” Lisa whispered in awe.
Assault remained stiff behind the revealed villain, one hand on his ear as he presumably received instructions on how to proceed. Skitter continued with clear confidence.
“Though I am relatively new to the scene,” she continued, acting for all the world as though she hadn’t done something so outrageous she was probably going to be imprisoned for it afterwards. “I feel that my accomplishments so far speak for themselves: battling and disabling numerous villains of various ranks, the performance of various freelance tax collecting, some highly successful public relations appearances, as well as my defense against the Endbringers. If anyone wishes to know more, by all means, my curriculum vitae will be made available on the PRT website, or can be reviewed from numerous police reports.”
“Freelance tax collection?” Alec repeated, his tone confused.
“Robbing the bank,” Lisa groaned, slapping her forehead.
“Did she just offer her CV? Like this was a job interview?” Brian wondered.
“While I did begin my career with the famously successful startup gang, the Undersiders, I feel I have unfortunately reached a point where our personal and professional goals no longer coincide, and thus have left my former company to pursue an alternative career. I wish them all the best in the future endeavors, regardless of my personal choice,” Skitter continued professionally. Behind her, Assault relaxed slightly, apparently NOT having received orders to tackle the villain on the spot.
“Personal and professional goals, huh,” Alec snorted.
“Think we should get her a retirement watch or something?” Brian shook his head in wonder.
Lisa was about to speak up as well, but paused when she noticed the screen behind Skitter go blank for a brief moment, before lighting back up. The bees that had been covering it dispersed and the screen now clearly read ‘Skitter’.
“I think she just highjacked the projection booth,” Lisa pointed out, honestly impressed at this point.
“So now, it is with great excitement, I can announce that I will indeed be joining the ENE Wards,” Skitter continued, her tone rising as she indicated over her shoulder, “as the PRT’s official first ever ‘Conscripted Villainous Consultant’!”
The screen behind her changed, declaring her new tittle. Little animated balloons rose up as the screen changed, as well as pieces of virtual confetti.
“Oh god, she has a PowerPoint presentation,” Lisa snorted. “And she figured out the animation function!”
Behind Skitter, Assault visibly did a double take at the new title.
“That’s right,” Skitter continued cheerfully, or what counted for cheerful for her, “as a Conscripted Villainous Consultant, or CVC for short, I will have the opportunity of contributing to the PRT and the Protectorate in new and exciting ways!”
Skitter removed the microphone from the stand, pacing to stand a little to the side of the big screen and gesturing to it for emphasis.
“I anticipate from my own experience being able to contribute immensely into insight into villainous behavior,” she continued, bullet points echoing her statement starting to appear on the screen. “Additionally, I will be assisting my fellow Wards in training their intimidation factor, their weapons infighting abilities, and as well as enhancing their off-camera police brutality skills! Don’t worry, people of Brockton Bay! By the time I done, I guarantee that our Wards will be the most effective protectors in the program!
“In addition,” she continued confidently. “As a CVC, there will no doubt be a difference on the level of restrictions on such things as ‘acceptable force’. I vow, for the people of Brockton Bay, that giant swarms of venomous stinging insects will soon be the symbol of hope and peace that they deserve!”
“This,” Alec declared, nodding as he did so. “This right here? This is the thing that I never knew I always wanted, but did, in fact, long for my entire life. I can die satisfied now.”
Lisa noted Assault now had his hand on his forehead, and from his body language, couldn’t decide if he wanted to laugh or cry.
“’But Skitter,’ you might ask,” Skitter continued pacing across the stage menacingly. “’How does this actually contribute to the PRT as an organization?’ I’m glad you asked. Everyone knows that a new position such as the CVC must provide immediate function when the position is created. Well, I’m happy to announce that using my former villainous insight, I have already managed to identify an active threat which has infiltrated the PRT!”
“Oh god, she’s going to announce Coil!” Lisa hissed, sitting up straight in her chair. “Did she use the PRT to actually find him!?”
“This fiend has managed to snake his way into the very heart of our noble organization,” Skitter hissed, her bugs humming again to echo her anger. “From there, he has done his best to undermine and diminish countless heroes and their heroic endeavors! He and his army of sycophantic minions have at every turn hampered and undercut those who seek to do good in the world. All the while, the PRT in it’s noble and honest perspective was unable to truly see the harm that was being carried out, right under their noses! Well, never fear! I, Skitter, as a CVC am here, and I vow to stop him, to root him out at any cost.”
Assault was actually leaning forward now, apparently waiting to hear about this threat he was unaware of in order to rate its credibility.
Lisa was leaning forward as well, desperate to hear what Skitter had managed to find out. She had only been a member for a few days, had she actually already found Coil…!?
“I speak, of course,” Skittered hissed again as the screen changed. “Of none other but the vile, reprehensible, and nefarious, Glenn Chambers, PRT head of Imaging!”
Lisa felt as though a record had skipped. She noticed, distantly, as Assault visibly snorted, covering his mouth belatedly as though to conceal the fact.
“For years now,” Skitter continued, directing at the picture of an overweight man wearing an eye jarring Hawaiian shirt and plaid pants, his expression an unflattering smirk, “this man has been undermining heroes through subtle, insidious means, such as limiting their costumes, preventing their use of weaponry, and diverting their time away from assisting the public to focus on pointless PR initiatives!”
Angrily, as though to emphasize her words, Skitter strode to the abandoned podium, picking up the bobble antennas. She shook it, and they sprang about limply.
“Antennas?” she declared scornfully. “Really Glenn? Is that the best you can come up with?”
She tossed them aside, condemnation in every line of her body as she continued.
“This madman has held power for too long! I, Skitter, as a CVC and member of the PRT and Protectorate, vow that I will not let his heinous reign go unopposed. Behold, my first counterstrike, and the beginning of his end!”
Dramatically, she gestured at the screen behind her, and it flashed to a new slide.
“I have started a petition to have the PRT ban Hawaiian shirts, and enforce proper business wear! Soon, Glenn Chambers will be stripped of his garish, eye gouging uniform, and forced into uncomfortable but suitable suits and ties! With this, his downfall will begin!”
“I was wrong,” Alec declared. “This. THIS was the thing I was waiting for all my life.”
Assault was now visibly trying to conceal his laughter in the background.
“I look forward to using my power and influence for the good of the people,” Skitter concluded, resuming her place behind the podium and returning the microphone. “Now, I will open the floor to a few questions before we conclude for the day.”
“What did I just see?” Brian finally asked, honestly not sure how to react to their former teammate’s declaration.
“Skitter being Skitter,” Rachel shrugged. She didn’t really see what the issue was. Skitter was always weird, but she also always knew she was doing. Rachel figured she would just wait and see how it all turned out.
“I just…” Lisa began, shaking her head as her powers turned. “I don’t get…”
It was only thanks to her power and laser like focus on the beautiful girl answering questions, that she was able to discern Skitter’s master plan. Once she did, Lisa’s eyes widened in shock.
“Oh, you beautiful bitch,” she whispered, tears coming to her eyes. “Theres… There’s just so much beauty in the world, you know?”
***Scene Break***
Deep in his cavernous layer of evil, Coil slowly turned off his TV.
He took a moment to identify how he was feeling, and was a little reluctant to admit that he was a bit disappointed in the situation.
Honestly, he had been manipulating the city, taking it over through his evil ways as he used his powers to slowly gather more and more influence. He had a giant underground layer with a self-destruct feature. Hell, he had a giant monster to unleash, and he kidnapped and drugged little girls for his own use.
And yet, somehow, Skitter thought that GLENN CHAMBERS was eviler than he was!?
Thomas Calbert actually felt a little slighted by all this.
But the worst part…
The worst part was the little bit of niggling doubt the announcement had put in his mind.
What if… what if Skitter was right? What if she was actually on to something?
What if he had more threats in the PRT than he originally thought?
Biting his lip, Coil turned on his computers, and began researching the new nemesis that Skitter had spurned him for…
***Scene Break***
Chris, also known as Kid Win in his heroic identity, was, unfortunately, no stranger to very awkward meetings.
For instance, he had been a member of the Wards when Clockblocker had gone off script and announced his new, barely appropriate, name in public during his first appearance. He had honestly never thought he would have to endure something like that again.
Apparently their new… teammate, Skitter, liked to overachieve.
The conference room was chillingly silent, the only sound being the recording of Skitter’s public appearance in the background. Director Piggot, sat in chilling silence, her anger so palpable that Chris didn’t need to be an emotional empath like Dean had been in order to sense it.
Almost the entirety of the ENE protectorate, and all of the Wards were present in the conference room. Chris glanced amongst them, trying to take in reactions.
Armsmaster, beside Piggot, was completely still. The disgraced former leader resembled a statue, his expression unreadable. Miss Militia on the other hand had one hand painfully cradling her forehead, her eyes closed as she rubbed away what Chris expected was the beginning of a headache. Battery slumped in her chair, and Chris was willing to bet she also had a headache.
Assault, on the other hand, looked like he was stilling trying to cover up his laughter. And was failing. Miserably.
On the Wards side, reactions were more mixed. Missy, Vista, had her arms crossed, and was scowling fiercely. That didn’t surprise Kid Win, as he was aware of how seriously she took being a hero and this… announcement wasn’t exactly the sort of solemn duty Vista tended to appreciate.
Dennis, Clockblocker, looked reluctantly impressed, which said a lot considering the fact that he was absolutely terrified of their new teammate.
The girl of the hour, Taylor, Skitter he supposed, looked completely serene. She wore most of her costume, though she had unmasked at some point. Kid Win was almost surprised by just how normal she actually looked, a wide and expressive mouth set under a neat pair of glasses. He was almost disappointed that someone so capable of devastation and destruction was actually someone who looked so… normal.
Finally, the video came to the end of the announcement and began the question-and-answer portion. Piggot chose that moment to speak.
“Well,” she began very, very slowly. “Do you have anything to say for yourself, Skitter?”
She bit out the last word as though it was physically offensive to her.
“I thought it went very well,” Skitter answered, tone serene.
Kid Win was pretty sure he could hear Piggot’s teeth grinding from across the room.
In the background, one of the questions from the interview continued.
“Skitter, in previous reports you’ve been called ‘a biological plague the likes of which not seen since the Old Testament’. How do you feel about that?”
“A great swell of professional pride, as well as the commitment to do better in the future. I have already started to increase the locust population in my swarm. Next question?”
“You utterly failed at rebranding,” Piggot grit out. “Publicly declared your intention to corrupt our Wards. And publicly identified a PRT official as your arch nemesis, vilifying them and implying villainous intent to their entire branch.”
“Yes, those were my intended points for the speech,” Skitter nodded proudly. “I was glad I was able to meet them all. I was a bit worried about my presentation. I haven’t done much public speaking and was a little nervous.”
If this was what she looked like when she was ‘nervous’, Kid Win was honestly uncertain he wanted to know what she looked like angry.
“Skitter, do you consider it justified to refer to the entire Imaging department as an ‘army of sycophantic minions’?
“Yes, I do. And I just want to point out that they sent Teacher to the Birdcage for the same thing. Next question.”
“Stop talking now, Skitter,” Piggot ordered, and Kid Win could SEE a vein on her forehead. “We’re all going to wait here, in silence, until Chambers arrives so we can determine how to proceed with this… debacle.”
In the silence of the room, Assault began to slowly raise his hand, like a child in class waiting to be called on.
“No,” Piggot snapped at him before he spoke a word. “No, you cannot rebrand as a CVC, Assault.”
Assault’s hand slowly lowered in disappointment.
“Skitter, who does your costume? It looks fabulous!”
“Thank you. I made it myself out of Black Widow silk, insect carapaces, and the crushed hopes of my enemies. Next question.”
Kid Win had never been so grateful for a door opening as he was right then, as finally, the conference door was slammed open and the man of the hour, corrupter of heroes, Glenn Chambers stormed into the room.
“Skitter, what about the accusations that you are responsible for the decreased crab population noted in the bay?”
“You have no proof, and any further accusations will be met with a ‘no comment’. Next…”
Piggot reached up, and hit the mute button, silencing the television for the upcoming meeting.
Kid Win watched as Glenn paused after entering the room, his eyes narrowed as the honed in on where Skitter was sitting, her expression blank. Slowly, he closed the door and began stalking towards the girl.
As though to prepare herself for the upcoming confrontation, Skitter too stood, and faced him square on.
Kid Win had never felt more uncomfortable as he did when the two came to stand, face to face and squaring off like gunslingers of old…
Only to blink in surprise, as Glenn stepped forward and embraced the girl, and proceeded to do that weird European thing where they pretend to kiss each other’s cheeks.
He felt a great moment of confusion when Skitter returned the gesture. To Kid Win, it felt like some fundamental rule of the universe had been violated in some incomprehensible way.
“Brilliant, my dear!” Glenn gushed as he separated, and then in front of Chris’ disbelieving gaze, the two began what looked to be an honest-to-god secret handshake involving fist bumps and finger waving.
“Oh, dear god,” he heard Dennis whisper in shocked horror. “They’re actually friends!?”
Piggot’s eyes clenched in frustration as the two supposed enemies continued their secret handshake for far longer than Chris had thought possible.
“Wait,” Assault cut in, looking up in surprise. “Wait, was all this actually planned?” He glanced around, and realized that none of the other Protectorate members looked anywhere near as confused as he was. Battery actually looked a little sheepish, and Assault picked up on it immediately. “This was planned and you all were in on it!? What the hell, puppy!”
“Apologies for the deception,” Glenn assured the hero as he and Skitter finished up their handshake, and he drew a chair to sit next to the younger girl. “However, we wanted your reactions to be genuine in the moment, and you were believed to be the best choice!”
“Okay, as long as I was the best for whatever the hell this was,” Assault muttered, crossing his arms and pouting. “Anyone mind explaining precisely what this all was about?”
“To put it simply,” Glenn began for the benefit of the group, “while we initially thought to try the traditional method for rebranding, we unfortunately came across a small issue.”
“I’m entirely unmarketable,” Skitter declared, just the hint of pride in her smile. “My powerset is simply too terrifying to put a positive spin on it. Apparently, I made several focus groups cry.”
“Sounds right,” Clockblocker muttered, shuddering.
“When faced with the untenable situation, I was surprised when dear Taylor here actually came to me with a proposal,” Glenn continued, smiling proudly at the girl.
“What if instead of rebranding my look, we instead rebranded my personality?” Taylor explained.
“Skitter already had the reputation of ruthlessness, however, Skitter also had very little in the way of recognition regarding her personality,” Glenn elaborated. “Her public appearances have always had an air of directness, of focus. Because of that, the perception as being professional and direct has developed, a villain that precludes showboating solely to accomplish her goals. However, Skitter also had very little in the way of non-fight appearances. No social media, no public addresses outside of her crimes.
“So instead, what if we made the impression that the reason Skitter was always so intimidating as a villain was simply that she was overly zealous about being a professional villain?” Glenn concluded.
“Oh my god,” Assault shook his head in bemusement. “And thus, when Skitter decided to become a hero…”
“She completely misunderstood her situation, and instead focused being a heroic villain with ridiculous and humorous results?” Glenn concluded. “Precisely.”
“And your fine with that, Skitter?” Vista chimed in, looking dubious at the other girl.
“It has other benefits as well, besides just public perception,” Skitter nodded. “Any use of my swarms can be spun as the over-enthusiastic efforts of a well-meaning but inexperienced young Ward. Additionally, my goal of ‘educating’ my fellow Wards on villainous ways allows for some minor rebranding that can be attributed to me being ‘helpful’. For instance, if I’m constantly seen in public handing weapons to the rest of the Wards, like for instance, giving you a stun gun despite what marketing says…”
“You are now my favorite teammate,” Vista instantly declared, her eyes alight with malicious glee at the thought of FINALLY being armed.
“And like that, we lost her,” Clockblocker muttered.
“Don’t worry, I have ideas for your power too,” Skitter reassured him. “For instance, have you considered what a good grappling hook with a thick line attached combined with your power might accomplish?”
“That… is honestly actually a bit of a terrifying prospect,” Clockblocker admitted, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. If he set it up at ankle level, he would have an instant trip line that couldn’t be broken. Or if he managed to wrap it around someone, it would effectively be giving him ranged options.
“Er,” Kid Win began, looking around the room. Despite everything starting to make sense, he couldn’t help but wonder at the atmosphere of resignation in the room. “If this was all planned, why is it that, well, everyone looks like someone kicked a puppy?”
“Because it means that Skitter is going to have to be in a lot of public appearances to support her new image,” Battery sighed. “And she’s going to have to make them all as ridiculous as this…”
“I believe I’m starting to come around to having you on the team after all, Skitter,” Clockblocker declared solemnly, and Kid Win rolled his eyes. Of course, Clockblocker would be on board for what was effectively leave to troll every PR event they put on going forward.
“So, I guess I didn’t screw up by letting you finish your introduction,” Assault grinned slightly. “But I got to ask, why the whole calling out Chambers thing?”
“Three reasons,” Glenn held up his hand, raising three fingers and then lowering one. “First: engineered controversy.”
“My ‘so called’ feud with Imaging will provide the population will provide people an outlet for either supporting or condemning me separate from my former status as a villain,” Skitter explained, and Kid Win swore for a second he thought he saw her glasses flash like they did in those old anime he’d seen in the past. “Plenty of people, civilian and hero, have reasons to dislike Imaging. Just as many support Imaging. Now that they can identify me as a focal point for the conflict, they can support me or dislike me entirely in that context, and not whether or not they approve of my past actions.”
“Second: public engagement,” Glenn continued.
“By making my petition online and announcing it publicly, people are able to participate or not, and actively engage and connect with me,” Skitter continued. “While some people will no-doubt take it far too seriously, most are going to think of this as ridiculous and decide that participating is a lighthearted way to have some fun.”
“I’ve already seen a second petition being opened, one that only seeks to ban Hawaiian shirts so long as they don’t have pink flamingos on them,” Glenn reported gleefully. “Also, I’ve made a counter-announcement where I declared that Skitter would never be able to stop me, and released some of the more ridiculous costume designs we had for her.”
“I’ll be sure to respond appropriately,” Taylor told him. “Maybe something about how you’ll never bend me to your will, and urge the people to resist your insidious plot and boycott the pictures?”
“Excellent,” Glenn nodded in approval. “It will increase the circulation of them immensely.”
“Definitely coming around to you being in the team,” Clockblocker admitted starting to grin. “Should I post something about how I like the pictures and support our villainous mastermind in the PR department?”
“Only if Vista denounces them, and calls for my overthrow,” Glenn told him.
“I can do that,” Vista announced solemnly, glaring at the memory of some of her encounters with the PR team. “Oh, yes, I can do that.”
“I’m not getting involved with this,” Kid Win decided, leaning back in his chair to separate himself from the incipient insanity he could already envision.
Miss Militia groaned at the upcoming flame war her Wards were planning. She remembered when the Wards were respectable, serious, and dutiful…
Then she remembered Mouse Protector, and realized nothing ever changes.
“Okay, sounds like things are going to be heating up around here,” Assault was grinning now as well. He turned to Glenn, still curious about one last thing. “What was the third reason?”
In response, both Glenn and Skitter turned to look at Piggot, who still had her eyes closed and her teeth grit.
“I just want it on the record that I hate the fact that this actually worked,” she managed to ground out.
“Since Skitter’s announcement video, Chambers internal file has been accessed multiple times from various personnel and accounts who shouldn’t have the appropriate access for them,” Armsmaster spoke up obediently, a touch of curiosity in his voice. “We had several observation programs on them, hidden, and we’re using the unauthorized access to identify several PRT personnel who we believe are Coil’s agents in the PRT. So far, the highest level of unauthorized access belongs to one ‘Thomas Calvert’, who accessed the information from the physical location we have identified as Coil’s base, making him the prime suspect for Coil’s actual secret identity…”
“You mean the whole thing was a sting!?” Assault gaped in genuine shock. Battery sighed, also apparently unable to believe that they were able to actually bait out Coil’s power by snubbing him as Skitter’s arch-nemesis. “And it actually worked!?”
“She did tell you it would work,” Glenn pointed out, grinning. “It seems there might actually be something to this ‘villainous insight’ after all, right?”
“A strike team is being mounted as we speak,” Armsmaster confirmed.
“Excellent,” Skitter’s smile was positively malicious.
Kid Win decided then and there that this did not bode well for the future of villains in the city.