Chapter 1: Agatha fucking Harkness
Chapter Text
Rio was late. She was so late. Of course, she’d slept through her alarm this morning and then she’d woken up half an hour late with no possibility to make it to her 10am lecture on time. But Rio still tried. Which was why she was currently sprinting through the hallways of the science building like some lost freshman on their first day of class in search of their lecture hall.
Rio wasn’t a freshman though; she was a grad student. In fact, today was the first day of her last semester at Westview College. Only a few more months and she’d be done. A fully educated environmental scientist ready to be let loose in the real world.
At twenty-six years of age, Rio was older than most of her peers in the master program she attended. Just as she’d graduated high school her Abuelita had had a terrifying health scare, and at the time, Rio had decided to postpone college until she was better again. So, instead of going to college straight after school, Rio had gone to Puerto Rico to take care of her grandma. Thankfully, she had fully recovered and was completely back to her old self once more.
Nevertheless, after all the years Rio had spent studying and presenting and essay writing, she was beyond excited to leave all of it behind and to finally contribute her part to save the planet. Not that she hadn’t already done those things before she’d started her studies. She went to demos to raise awareness for climate change, she separated her garbage, she didn’t eat meat, she was part of the sustainable development association on campus, she –
Rio was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts when she rushed around the corner and her left shoulder collided with something hard, making her stumble and almost face-plant onto the floor. Yet in a 360-degree spin-move which showed more grace and body control than Rio ever thought herself capable of, she managed to stay on her feet.
A glance over her shoulder revealed that the thing she’d crashed against was a woman.
A really fucking stunning woman in dark purple slacks with a white blouse tucked neatly into them and long dark brown hair pulled up atop her head in a complicated updo. Rio didn’t have time to dwell on the beautiful woman any longer though, who still stood frozen in place with her back turned to Rio, as she was already rushing on towards the lecture hall at the end of the hallway.
Not wanting to appear any ruder than she probably already did, Rio shouted a quick “I’m sorry!” across the hallway towards the still unmoving woman before she finally ducked into her lecture.
Somehow, Rio had managed to only be ten minutes late when she found a seat in the last row, and, by some miracle, the Professor was too busy introducing himself to notice her slip in.
Small mercies, Rio thought before she focused on what the Professor was saying.
--
“You look like shit.”
“Don’t.” Rio hissed as she sat down opposite Alice Wu Gulliver, her best friend and ex-roommate, in the college cafeteria.
“Seriously, you okay?” Alice asked with thinly veiled concern in her eyes.
“Yeah,” Rio sighed. “I just slept through my alarm this morning and then I crashed into someone on my way to my lecture which I was obviously late to, and now somehow, the whole day feels off.”
Alice only hummed non-committedly in response, knowing that Rio wasn’t done yet, and Rio silently thanked whatever entity there was that the Asian woman in front of her knew her so well.
“I also have the first session of my creative selective after lunch and I’m so not looking forward to that. Why did I even pick Creative Writing 101? I have no idea about writing.”
Another sigh left Rio’s lips when she was done. She was so over this day already.
“Well, to the being late thing, I told you to not get an apartment on your own off campus and to instead stay roommates with me in the dorms. I would’ve woken you and you wouldn’t have been late if you’d just stayed with me,” Alice joked light-heartedly as she picked at the fries on her plate.
Rio playfully narrowed her eyes at Alice as she speared a tomato from her salad onto her fork.
“As for the writing thing,” Alice continued, “Well, you had to pick something, right? So why not writing? It seems easier to me than art or music stuff when you have no idea what you’re doing. Besides, isn’t that the seminar with the new guest professor?”
Oh shit. Rio had completely forgotten about the new guest professor. There had been a lot of rumors about them last semester, mostly consisting of which famous author would grace them with their presence and wisdom. But no one, at least none of the students, actually knew anything about who it was going to be.
Rio groaned and felt the strong urge to drop her head on the table rise inside of her. Hadn’t her plate of salad been sitting right in front of her she probably would’ve done it.
“Don’t remind me. The whole class will most likely be full of groupies clambering all over themselves to become the teacher’s favorite. I’m already over it.”
“I heard they’re hot though. Like, some hot-shot author but also, you know, hot,” Alice smirked and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Rio laughed. “Where did you even hear that? Isn’t the identity of this ominous guest professor the best kept secret at Westview College?”
Alice just winked at Rio while taking another fry from her plate and dunking it into the little pot of ketchup next to it. “I have my ways.”
“Mmm,” Rio hummed, knowing that what Alice had said were probably just more rumors.
The two friends spent the rest of their lunch catching up on what had happened over the semester break, and even though Rio wasn’t ecstatic about being back at college, she was really happy to have her best friend back. Alice had spent the break in China with her grandma, and they hadn’t had much contact and Rio had missed her.
--
Rio was late. Again.
Somehow, she and Alice had lost track of time during lunch and now Rio was running through the halls of Westview College. Again.
Only this time it was toward the classroom where her creative writing selective took place.
Rio really really hoped that the new guest professor would be lenient with her and not chew her out in front of the entire class for not being on time. The first day back was always rough for everyone, professors and students alike, and usually the profs tended to be understanding more than menacing about it.
Rio prayed that that was also the case with this new guest professor as she burst through the door of the classroom of her seminar.
“I’m so sor–“
The apology died on Rio’s lips when her eyes fell on the woman standing at the front of the room next to the teacher’s desk. Her back was turned to Rio and –
Fuck.
Rio knew that back. She knew those dark purple slacks with the white blouse tucked neatly into them. She knew the intricate updo the woman’s dark hair was styled into atop her head.
At the front of the classroom stood none other than the woman Rio had literally run into earlier this morning.
Could this day get any worse?!
Dread pooling in her stomach, Rio swallowed hard as the woman turned around and her eyes landed on her.
“You again.”
The words were cutting, sharp, and Rio clutched the strap of her messenger back harder in her hand when the door of the classroom fell shut behind her, the thump of the closing door providing a perfectly timed full stop for the woman’s statement.
Before Rio could say anything in her defense, the woman was already speaking again.
“Miss Vidal, I presume?” she asked raising one perfectly sculpted eyebrow at Rio.
Rio swallowed hard. Again.
There went her hope of making it through being late unscathed. Whoever this woman was, she was clearly no one to be messed with. Every pore of her being oozed authority as she just stood opposite Rio at the other end of the room, hands leisurely buried in the pockets of her purple pants.
Her eyes pierced Rio’s, strikingly blue, and for a second Rio lost herself in the beauty of this woman. It was just as apparent as her authority.
Rio couldn’t tear her eyes away.
Angular features marked the woman’s face. A jawline sharp enough to cut glass was the most prominent one. Her nose was larger than the usual nose, but it fit her face perfectly and, in connection with her full red lips, only made the woman appear more alluring.
She was stunning really.
Breathtaking.
Suddenly realizing that the woman had asked her a question, Rio reluctantly pulled herself out of her musings.
But the words wouldn’t come. Usually so confident, in the presence of this woman, for reasons beyond Rio’s grasp, she felt uncharacteristically untethered, unmoored.
Rio didn’t know this woman.
At all.
There was no reason for her to feel this way.
And yet, she did.
“I –…yes?” Rio stuttered under the woman’s scrutiny.
Rio watched as the woman’s second eyebrow raised itself and joined the first.
“Are you asking me?” the woman responded, sarcasm dripping from her words.
It irked Rio. She wasn’t one to let herself be put on the spot like this. So, taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and looked straight at the woman when she spoke again.
“No. I am Rio Vidal.”
The woman’s eyes widened slightly, as if she was surprised at the turn around, the confidence, in Rio’s voice. Rio suppressed a smirk.
Gotchya.
“Very well, Miss Vidal, now that that’s cleared up, please take a seat. I have a class to teach,” the woman stated unfazed once more. The surprise that had lingered in the corners of her eyes just a moment before was completely gone again.
Rio just nodded in response and began to shuffle to an empty seat in the last row. However, before she could sit down her attention was captured by the woman at the front of the room once more.
“And next time, be on time, Miss Vidal.”
Thrown haphazardly over her shoulder as she turned around, the words of the woman Rio now knew to be the infamous new guest professor, didn’t carry a reprimand as much as they carried a dare.
For a moment the implication threw Rio for a loop, until her eyes met the ocean blue ones of the other woman. There was a playful gleam in them. A challenge.
Then the woman turned around and it disappeared.
Rio smirked to herself and finally sat down.
She had a feeling that this class was going to be more fun than she’d anticipated.
--
Rio couldn’t stop thinking about the new guest professor. Now that she knew who the woman was, she couldn’t, for whatever godsforsaken reason, get her out of her head.
Somehow, something about her had stuck to Rio, had struck her in a way anything rarely did. But Rio had no idea what it was.
A heavy sigh left Rio’s lips as she closed her eyes and leaned back, laying down on the lawn in front of the cafeteria on campus. Sunrays kissed her face and Rio smiled.
She was going to miss this once winter came. It was early September, and the days were already getting colder. But today, it was warm, and Rio planned to soak up as much of the sun’s warmth as she could on her lunch break between classes.
Hence, her laying outside on the grass.
And she wasn’t the only one. Everywhere around her other students milled about, sitting and chatting lively at the tables in front of the cafeteria, strolling on the lawn underneath the blue skies, or, just like her, laying on the grass and soaking up the sun.
The noises of the other people calmed Rio, grounded her. They gave her a chance to focus on something other than what was going on inside her head.
Suddenly someone yelled close to her.
“YOUR WRITING PROF IS AGATHA HARKNESS?!”
Alice.
Rio should have known that the small Asian woman was going to find her sooner or later. She always did.
“Why don’t you scream it even louder?” Rio hissed, opening one eye to stare at Alice.
“Sorry,” Alice winced as she plopped down next to Rio. “It’s all everyone’s been able to talk about.”
“I know.”
And oh, did Rio know. The name of her professor had followed her ever since she’d left her class yesterday. No matter where she went someone always seemed to be whispering about Agatha fucking Harkness.
Rio, honestly, didn’t understand the appeal.
Sure, the woman was hot, but she was also kind of a bitch. At least she’d seemed that way yesterday when she’d put Rio in her place for being late.
“You have no idea who she is, do you?” Alice asked as if she’d been reading Rio’s mind.
Rio cracked one eye open again and looked at Alice who now sat cross-legged next to her.
“Should I?”
Alice just looked at her with wide eyes in response, surprise written all over her face.
“You really don’t know?” the Asian woman questioned again.
Rio was growing tired of this conversation already. No, she didn’t know who Agatha Harkness was. Why would she? She was just some guest professor. What was so special about her anyway?
“No,” Rio sighed. “Again, should I?”
“Um, yeah?”
“Why?”
“Because she’s fucking famous, Rio, that’s why,” Alice stated exasperated.
Suddenly, Rio’s interest piqued, she sat up and faced Alice. “What’s she famous for?”
Alice chuckled at Rio’s antics and ran a hand through her hair, then she spoke, “She’s the author of the Witches Road book series. You know, the one that blew up a decade ago and is going to be turned into a tv show next year?”
“No,” Rio stated blatantly. She had no clue about any of this. She wasn’t big into reading if it wasn’t something scientific, so, how would she know about some hot-shot author?
“What?” The shock was back on Alice’s face, and it made Rio laugh.
“No, I don’t know,” she chuckled. “Enlighten me.”
"You don’t– okay,” Alice sputtered before she caught herself. “Like I already said, Agatha Harkness is the author of the Witches Road book series. It’s a fantasy book series about coven-less witches and how they have to work together and face trials and tribulations to get to what they desire most. Like, each of them is missing something, longing for something, wanting something, and the books are the story of how they get, or in some cases, don’t get there. There was also this song that she composed for the books, the ballad of the witches road, that blew up when the first book was published. I’m actually really surprised you haven’t heard of her. Especially, since her books feature a plethora of queer characters and she’s gotten a lot of awards for the exemplary display of queerness in her books.”
Interesting.
Very interesting, Rio thought.
“So, what, just because I’m a lesbian I have to know her?” Rio interrupted Alice’s rant.
Alice just shrugged in response. “Kind of, yeah.”
Rio ignored Alice’s answer. It didn’t matter. She hadn’t known about Agatha Harkness, still didn’t really, and there was nothing she could do about that now.
There was one thing though that Rio’s mind was stuck on after listening to Alice's explanation. One thing that really intrigued her.
“Is she queer?” Rio asked, pretending and failing to act like she didn’t care about the answer.
She had no idea why this was so important to her, why it mattered so much, she just knew that, somehow, it did.
“No one really knows,” Alice shrugged again, unaware of the need to know that was burning in every fiber of Rio’s being. “She’s an incredibly private person. There is barely any information on her private life. Like, sure, there are rumors, but no one is actually sure.”
“Huh,” was all Rio uttered in response.
Although she now knew the identity of the mystery guest professor, Agatha Harkness seemed to be turning out to be even more of a mystery, and Rio didn’t know how she felt about that.
But before she could start to figure it out Alice interrupted her and forced Rio back into the present.
“So, how was your first class with her?”
Rio groaned and buried her head in her hands in embarrassment, reminded of the fool she had made of herself when she’d shown up late to class by Alice’s question.
The thought that, in the end, she’d managed to find her footing was only slightly comforting when Rio thought about the fact that she had to face Agatha Harkness again in less than a week.
It didn’t hold her back from telling the whole story to Alice though, she was her best friend after all.
--
Six days later Rio walked through the door of the classroom where her creative writing selective took place with two minutes to spare. At least she was on time this time. Barely, but still.
She found her place in the last row, the same one she’d sat in a week ago, and dropped into it heavily.
It had been a week.
Somehow, her schedule was more packed than she’d intended it to be, and her first week back had been rougher than usual as she’d struggled to find her footing to navigate through it. There was nothing Rio could do about it, nothing she could change to ease the load, so she hoped that now that she’d made it through once it would become easier.
The sudden appearance of Agatha Harkness took Rio abruptly out of her thoughts.
She strolled through the door like she owned the place, and, since it was her classroom, in a way she did.
Today, she was wearing a white suit that was perfectly tailored to the curves of her slim body. A black button down peaked out from underneath her blazer when she turned around at the front of the room and faced the class. The top two buttons were undone, revealing a hint of cream-colored skin and prominent collarbones. Her dark hair was down, pulled over one shoulder, the tips of her long tresses reaching past the top of her breast.
Rio looked at Agatha Harkness and swallowed hard.
She knew she was staring, yet she couldn't stop herself.
She’d found the woman attractive the moment she’d seen her, but goddess damn, this woman was hot.
Eyes racking over the students that were present, Agatha Harkness took in the young people in front of her. Rio just kept staring, unaware that sooner or later she would inevitably get caught by the woman’s wandering eyes.
When it happened and her and Agatha Harkness’ eyes connected, it send a sudden jolt of something through Rio that stole her breath away.
Never in her life had Rio seen eyes this blue. They mesmerized her, called to her like sirens called to the men at sea.
What finally pulled Rio out of her haze was a slight twitch of the woman’s mouth. The curling of the corners of her lips into a barely-there smirk told Rio that Agatha Harkness knew exactly the kind of effect she had on her.
Her cheeks tinged with embarrassment and Rio tore her eyes away with a huff.
What the fuck was wrong with her?
As a lesbian she was no stranger to the effect beautiful woman could have on her but never had a woman managed to affect Rio like this.
Clearing her throat, Agatha Harkness began the session. Rio slumped down in her chair, relieved not to have the woman’s attention on her anymore.
The rest of the class passed uneventfully. When Rio checked her phone there were only ten minutes left before it was going to be over. She let out a quiet sigh of relief.
Since it’d been mostly still introductory stuff Rio had barely paid attention. Instead, she’d busied herself with sorting out the issue in her shift schedule. Although Rio could rely on her scholarships enough to live rather comfortably off campus, she still liked to work to earn a little extra money.
That was why she’d been working in a little café/bistro on campus, called the Den, since her first year. Even though the job was demanding and she had to deal with a lot of assholes on a semi-regular basis, she kind of liked it. It was so different from her studies, and it afforded her a nice break from the endless studying she so often found herself forced into.
Usually, she only worked Sunday mornings but somehow, this year the shift manager had messed up and had marked her in the schedule for Sunday afternoons. It wasn’t that Rio couldn’t work afternoons; it was more that she really didn’t like to.
Afternoons, especially on Sundays, were always slow since most of the campus was too hungover to make it out of their dorms.
Rio had tried to get her placement in the schedule changed, but apparently there was nothing that could be done, and she was stuck with being bored to death on her Sunday afternoon shifts for the foreseeable future.
“I’ve made some changes to the schedule I introduced last week.”
Agatha Harkness’ voice suddenly broke through Rio’s thoughts.
She looked up and watched as the woman gave the class a second to let her statement sink in before she continued.
“There will be no essays for you to write during the semester. Instead, you’re going to work on a writing project of your choosing throughout the duration of this class. I made this decision since it allows you more opportunities to do what you actually want to do and doesn’t force you to do what I want you to do.”
Rio, as much as the rest of the people in her class, was taken aback by this change in procedure. To say it was unusual would be an understatement. That they got to pick their own project wasn’t a totally new invention, but it was incredibly rare that professors allowed them this much freedom with an assignment.
It intrigued Rio more than she liked to admit that, apparently, Agatha Harkness wanted them to do well in her class, that she cared about them.
Because, so far, Rio had gotten quite the opposite impression. Not that there wasn’t any passion in the woman’s voice when she spoke about writing, there was, but there hadn't been any passion towards the students before. Not like this. Not like today.
It only turned Agatha Harkness into more of a mystery.
“I will be your mentor for this project. Starting next week there are going to be regular meet ups with each of you during my office hours to discuss your approach, your ideas and, eventually, your progress. I uploaded a list for you to sign up for an appointment on the college learning platform. That’s all for today. See you next week. Class dismissed.”
Rio leaned back in her chair and watched how Agatha Harkness collected her things and rushed out of the classroom before any of the students even had a chance to get up. Then she slowly started to put her own things away, got up and left. Her mind was still reeling from the announcement.
As much as Rio appreciated the sentiment to let them choose for themselves, she wasn’t a writer, and she had no fucking clue about what to do for this project.
This was supposed to be an easy creative selective, for fuck’s sake, not some kind of personal challenge.
--
It was Sunday, and Rio was working her shift at the Den, the small coffee shop she’d been working at since her freshman year.
Like she’d predicted, so far, her shift had been slow, and it didn’t look like it was going to change any time soon.
Only a few patrons were scattered around some of the tables, most of them students. But much of the little café was left empty. That’s why Rio was currently in the backroom sorting through some old mugs and glasses while packing them safely into cardboard boxes, so they could be donated to the homeless center in the city.
Just as she was about to grab the next mug and wrap it into the paper of an old newspaper to keep from breaking during transport, Stella, her co-worker and shift partner for the afternoon, stuck her head through the door.
“We’ve got an order,” she said and was disapeared again.
Rio placed the old newspaper down on the stack where she’d taken it from and followed Stella out. As she walked past Stella behind the counter, she handed Rio the slip of paper with the order on it.
One small Americano and one hot chocolate with whipped cream and extra sprinkles.
Easy enough, Rio thought as she came to a stop in front of the fancy barista coffee machine. With practiced moves, made routine from years of working at the Den, Rio finished getting the drinks ready in no time.
“Small Americano and hot chocolate with whipped cream and extra sprinkles for Nicholas,” Rio yelled and placed the mugs containing the order on the counter for whoever had ordered them to collect.
Already on her way to turn back to the coffee maker to start cleaning it, Rio abruptly changed direction and swiveled back around.
The hands reaching for the two mugs she’d just placed on the counter were definitely too small to belong to an adult. Rio’s gaze traveled from the little hands to the face of the person they belonged to, barely visible over the high-rise bar top.
She’d been right. The person reaching for the mugs was a little boy. Probably somewhere around six or seven years old, Rio guessed. His hair was long, falling into his large dark brown eyes, and there was the kind mischief etched into the edges of his smile that one could only find in the smiles of children.
“Aren’t you a bit young to be drinking coffee?” Rio asked, mirroring his smile and playfully raising an eyebrow at him.
Their company policy stated that they weren’t allowed to give caffeinated drinks to anyone under eighteen, and as the one handing out the drinks it was Rio’s responsibility to pay attention to things like these.
It wasn’t unusual for children to collect drinks, but usually a parent was with them. When this was the case, it was fine since there was parental supervision present.
Yet, this little boy was standing at the counter alone with no adult even in close vicinity to him.
“It’s not for me,” the small child giggled. “The coffee is for my Mama.”
Well, that was good. Still, Rio wasn’t going to let this kid walk out of the coffee shop with a coffee in his hand all on his own.
“And where is your Mama?” she pressed softly.
Rio observed the little boy as he turned halfway around and pointed at the opposite side of the café. “There!”
When Rio’s eyes followed the direction where the kid was pointing his finger, they almost bulged out of her head in disbelief as they came to rest on the person he’d referred to as his Mama.
There, sitting at one of the tables near the windows and typing furiously on her phone, was none other than her creative writing 101 professor.
Agatha fucking Harkness.
Chapter 2: Your Blue Eyes invite a Dare I can’t resist
Summary:
There‘s poetry. Also, Rio has a realization.
Notes:
Thank you guys so so so so so so much for all the kudos and comments!
I appreciate every single one of them! <3
One thing, before I let you dive into this chapter. All the poems I‘m using in this story are poems I have written, so I would really appreciate it if you didn’t copy or distribute them anywhere.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Agatha Harkness had a son?
Rio couldn’t believe it, didn’t think it was real, and she was sure there was shock written all over her face as she stared, speechless, at the boy in front of her.
He seemed very real.
And apparently, he was also the son of her mystery guest professor.
Still trying to wrap her head around the revelation that had just slapped her in the face, Rio schooled her expression back into a soft smile.
“How about I help you with the drinks?”
What the hell was she doing?
Agatha Harkness was already constantly on her mind, and now she was deliberately going to walk over to her and bring the woman her coffee?
Before Rio could backpedal and take back her offer though, the small kid was already nodding enthusiastically at her.
Dread pooling in her stomach, Rio smiled at him again as she gestured for the kid to lead the way.
The little boy grabbed the mug with the hot chocolate and began to walk towards the table near the windows where his Mama was sitting.
Rio sighed and ran a hand through her dark shoulder-length hair.
What had she just gotten herself into?
Before the kid could get too far away, Rio snatched the mug with the coffee off the countertop and stepped hurriedly out from behind the working area to follow along behind him.
Her eyes never left her professor, and with each step that brought Rio closer to her, Rio’s heart started to beat faster inside her chest. Her palms began to sweat, and Rio had to inhale deeply to calm her increasingly fraying nerves as she trailed the small child.
“Nicky, what took you so–“ Agatha Harkness started, then stopped when her eyes connected with Rio’s.
Rio’s heart was racing so fast she was afraid it was going to burst any second. The surprise written all over the face of the woman she had just come to a stop in front of didn’t help in the slightest to ease its pounding.
Quite the opposite, shocked and taken aback Agatha Harkness looked more open and vulnerable than Rio had ever seen her. Honestly, it was a sight to behold. It suited her and softened her.
It made her human.
“Miss Vidal? What are you doing here?”
“I work here,” Rio smirked, glad she wasn’t the one taken off guard for once, and placed the mug of steaming coffee in front of the woman.
“She helped me carry the drinks, Mama,” the little boy chimed in, happily sipping his hot chocolate as he seated himself on the chair opposite his mother.
The woman’s eyes moved over to her son as if she’d just remembered that he was also there.
Rio forced her smirk to stay small, instead of letting it bloom freely on her face like she could feel it wanting to do at the sight of just how much her presence seemed to shake Agatha Harkness.
This was fun.
“I can see that,” the woman chuckled at her son.
It was the first time Rio had heard her laugh. Granted, it wasn’t a full-on laugh but the low rumble of mirth in the woman’s throat still made Rio’s breath hitch.
The messy bun she had pulled her long dark hair into and the light gray wool sweater with a large floppy collar, light washed skinny jeans, and black ankle boots she was wearing didn’t make it any easier for Rio to get her breath back.
She just couldn't comprehend how someone could look so beautiful.
Shaking herself out of the stupor that had so suddenly captured Rio’s mind, as she’d watched Agatha Harkness interact with her son, Rio desperately tried to find her footing again.
“It’s company policy,” she started, and the woman’s eyes flashed back to her, the blue of the skies boring into the brown of the earth.
Rio had to swallow hard before she could continue. “We’re not allowed to let kids take caffeinated drinks from the counter without an adult present.”
“I see,” Agatha Harkness thoughtfully responded to Rio’s explanation. Then a wicked gleam appeared in her eyes. “I guess, I owe you a thank you then for personally delivering my coffee. So, thank you.”
There was no obvious wink, but the woman’s words oozed with playfulness, with teasing.
And before Rio knew what was going on she’d lost the upper hand to Agatha fucking Harkness again.
Was this woman flirting with her?
Rio had no idea. This woman was throwing her off more and more the more she interacted with her. She just couldn’t get a read on her.
It infuriated Rio, but it also intrigued her. So much so, that she just couldn’t stay away.
The woman currently sitting in front of her was an enigma and Rio wanted, needed, to unveil what exactly that meant.
Squaring her shoulders in a show of confidence Rio grinned at Agatha Harkness. “You’re welcome.”
Agatha Harkness grinned back.
And then, they just kept staring at each other, grinning at each other, measuring each other.
It was exhilarating.
Rio didn’t know how much time passed until the woman opposite her broke their eye contact and subtly cleared her throat.
“This is my son Nicholas,” Agatha Harkness spoke, smiling fondly at the little boy who was completely immersed in his hot chocolate.
“Nicky,” the kid corrected his mother with a cheeky smile when he realized his name had been spoken.
Agatha Harkness huffed out a quiet laugh as she imperceptibly rolled her eyes at her son.
“This is my son, Nicky,” she corrected her earlier statement, the smile on her face just as fond as before.
Rio’s heart melted.
Agatha Harkness clearly loved her son, and he loved her just as much. It was utterly palpable in every one of their interactions.
Something stirred inside Rio at the warmth emanating from mother and son as they smiled at each other. She should probably walk away and leave them to enjoy this moment alone, but Rio couldn’t get her feet to move. She couldn’t stop staring at them.
Then Nicky was suddenly staring back at her with a questioning look in his eyes, and Rio realized that he was waiting for her to introduce herself to him.
“I’m Rio,” she smiled kindly at him.
“Nice to meet you!” Nicky beamed at her. “You’re really pretty!”
Rio couldn’t help herself and burst out laughing, the innocent compliment taking her completely by surprise.
“Thank you! It’s very nice to meet you, too!” she beamed back.
In her peripheral vision Rio saw Stella waving at her to come back behind the counter. A few new patrons had come in and she needed to continue doing her job.
“I have to go back,” Rio said apologetically, her eyes moving away from Nicky back to his mother.
Agatha Harkness was staring at her with such intensity that Rio barely managed to suppress the urge to suck in a sharp breath.
There was also a slightly red tinge visible on the woman’s cheeks.
Was Agatha Harkness blushing?
No. She was probably just warm from the heat inside the café. With all the hot beverages and steaming drinks it was always rather hot in the Den.
Behind her, Rio saw Stella wave again, this time more urgently.
“It was really nice meeting you. I hope you have a good rest of your day,” Rio smiled at the woman in front of her.
When Agatha Harkness smiled back Rio’s heart skipped a beat.
“Thanks. You, too. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”
Startled Rio remembered that right, tomorrow was Monday, and that Agatha Harkness was her professor.
With a nod and one last look at her professor she waved goodbye to Nicky, which he returned gleefully. Then Rio turned around and walked away.
She tried to keep her eyes of off the mother-son-duo on the other side of the coffee shop while she worked, but whenever there was a slight let up in orders Rio found her eyes traveling back to them.
Looking at them, she felt a tender smile spread across her face. They were talking and laughing, Nicky gesturing wildly as he regaled his mother with some story that Rio couldn’t hear over the chatter in the café.
When Agatha Harkness threw her head back in a laugh that echoed through the small coffee shop in response to what Nicky had said, something shifted inside Rio.
She didn’t know what it was, had no idea how to figure it out.
All she knew was that, somehow, it was important.
The next time Rio looked up from her work behind the counter they were gone, their mugs left empty and abandoned on the table.
Rio’s heart sank, and an ache spread through her entire body that she didn’t know where to place.
—
In the third week back at college Rio finally managed to get a handle on her schedule. She’d figured out the fastest way to her classes to avoid being late, she’d found the perfect gaps to take breaks, and she’d come up with a plan to balance her study time and the time she had to spend completing her part of the work for the sustainable development association.
Her sleeping schedule had also finally changed to fit the demands placed upon her. Instead of sleeping throughout the day, like Rio tended to do during the semester breaks, she now rarely went to bed later than midnight and was usually up again by seven in the morning.
The first two weeks had been exhausting but over the course of this week things had started to fall into place at last.
That was most likely the reason why Rio was way too early for her appointment with Agatha Harkness.
After she had looked up the sign-up sheet, the woman had had posted on the college online learning platform the week before, on Sunday night after her shift, Rio had chosen an appointment for Thursday afternoon.
It’d been the latest available appointment, and Rio needed all the time she could get to prepare herself to be alone with Agatha Harkness after she’d stumbled upon the woman and her son during her shift at the Den.
Honestly, she still didn’t feel very prepared.
Rio had tried to get the woman out of her head, to just stop thinking about her. But nothing seemed to work. One way or another, Agatha Harkness always found her way back into Rio’s mind.
Seeing her interact with Nicky, looking all soft and carefree, had only made it worse.
Since Sunday, Rio had wasted every moment she’d been able to spare to try and work out why she couldn’t get rid of the woman, yet a conclusion still eluded her.
Rio knew that the mysterious, ambiguous, closed off way Agatha Harkness incorporated to a t fascinated her. All the contradictions the woman personified so matter-of-factly made Rio’s fingers itch to pull back what they symbolized, what they hid, layer by layer.
Why?
That was the question Rio still had no answer to.
Wracking her brain as hard as she could Rio still hadn’t come any closer to understanding herself than that she knew there was something, and it was slowly driving her insane.
Arriving at Agatha Harkness’ office on the second floor of the literature department forced Rio to abandon her thoughts.
Although she was early the door to the office was open. The appointment before her had probably run short, Rio mused as she walked up to it.
Hand poised to knock on the doorframe beside her, Rio abruptly stopped in her tracks when her eyes fell onto the woman inside the room.
Agatha Harkness was sitting behind a big desk made of dark wood, her fingers were flying over the keyboard of the laptop in front of her, her eyes intently focused on its bright screen.
The woman’s hair was bundled on the top of her head in a messy bun, and she’d rolled back the sleeves of her light blue button up. It made the twitching muscles of her forearms stand out alluringly while her hands kept working and soft clicking noises continued to fill the office with every move of her fingers.
Rio stared unabashedly, savoring the rare occasion to look at the woman who took up so much space inside her head uninterrupted.
Agatha Harkness was a force to be reckoned with.
In every way imaginable.
The realization hit Rio at the same time as she felt the grace, the poise, the power the woman emanated even during such a simple task as typing something into a computer hit her.
Rio didn’t know how much time had passed until she inhaled deeply and squared her shoulders, stealing herself for what was inevitably going to be another challenging encounter with Agatha Harkness. Then she knocked softly on the doorframe beside her.
“Professor Harkness?”
The woman’s head snapped up at her words. A hint of surprise flickered over her face before she expertly masked it behind her usual expression of indifference.
“Miss Vidal. Come in, sit down.”
Nodding once Rio did as asked and stepped into the woman’s office, closing the door behind her. As she made her way over to the chair in front of the desk designated for students, Rio desperately tried to calm down her racing heart which had started pounding inside her chest the second her eyes had connected with the ocean orbs of her professor.
Rio placed her messenger bag carefully beside the chair, then she sat down. She clasped her hands tightly in her lap to keep them from fidgeting, so they wouldn’t give away how nervous she suddenly was.
When she looked back up at Agatha Harkness Rio found the woman already looking at her, scrutinizing her with an unreadable expression on her face.
While Rio had been busy getting situated the woman had closed her laptop and pushed it to the opposite side of the large desk.
“So,” her professor started, “have you thought about what you want to do for this project?”
Rio hadn’t. Not really. She wasn’t a writer, and she honestly had no idea what to do.
“Not really,” Rio winced, deciding that honesty was probably the best policy when faced with Agatha Harkness.
The woman’s eyes narrowed slightly at her, then she let out a slow breath.
“Okay. Have you ever written anything?”
Rio felt herself relax at the soft, almost gentle, inquiry.
She shrugged. “No.”
It was a blatant lie.
Rio had written things before, still did sometimes, but there was no one, not even Alice, who knew about it. It was her best kept secret, and she wasn’t about to spill it to some woman just because she’d asked.
No matter if said woman was her professor.
No matter how fascinating, enigmatic and hot she was.
Agatha Harkness’ eyes narrowed further, a deep crease appearing between her brows.
“I don’t believe you.”
Rio bristled at the statement, feeling her defenses rise.
How dare this woman call her out like this.
“I’m not a writer,” Rio spat back, more heat lacing her voice than she’d intended, as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
Oh, well.
The smirk that unfurled on Agatha Harkness’ face in response to her words made Rio quickly realize how majorly she’d just screwed up.
Fuck.
“But you have written things.”
Rio decided that her best course of action would be to just stay quiet before she gave herself away even more.
“Show me.”
It wasn’t a question. It was a demand.
The tone in the woman’s voice and the excited gleam in her eyes send a shiver down Rio’s spine.
Rio wasn’t entirely sure what possessed her to bend down and reach into her bag to pull out the little notebook she used for her writings, and she only realized how utterly helpless she was to refuse anything this woman asked of her once she’d already handed the small book over to her.
Anxiously, and no longer able to keep her hands from nervously fidgeting on her lap, Rio observed how Agatha Harkness carefully placed the notebook down in front of her, opened it and started to read.
Still on the first page Rio watched the woman’s eyes widen as they took in the words on the page in front of her. But with each page that followed the widening receded more and more, and a wicked grin slowly began to spread over her professor’s face.
It only made Rio more anxious. She’d never shared her writings with anyone.
The longer Agatha Harkness stayed quiet the more Rio’s palms began to sweat, the harder her heart was hammering inside her chest.
Rio felt so utterly exposed. Never in her life had she felt so naked, and she was still wearing all her clothes.
When the woman finished reading through everything the little notebook had to offer, she went back to a page situated close to the front of the small book.
Pointing her finger at the page, Agatha Harkness finally looked at her again. Rio couldn’t completely decipher the expression on the woman’s face, but the excited gleam in her eyes was definitely still there.
“This one. Explain it to me.”
Another demand, and again Rio folded like a house made of cards in the face of it.
She reached over the desk and took her book back. Rio’s eyes traveled over the page her professor had indicated, quietly taking in the words.
you’re blue eyes invite
a dare i can’t resist
although and in spite
of how they slowly twist
my insides in knots
and chromatical clumps
of the blue that’s not
the dare i thought it was
“It’s a play on what ‘being blue’ means in different languages,” Rio began to explain, her eyes still firmly fixed on the page in front of her. She didn’t dare to look up, too afraid of the reaction of the woman seated at the opposite side of the desk in front of her.
“German and English especially. Where in English ‘being blue’ refers to being sad or depressed, in German in refers to being drunk. It’s like…you go to a bar, you know, and you hit it off with someone and before you realize what’s happening you’re making out with them in the shadows at the edge of the dancefloor. But then, as time moves on, you begin to realize that whereas you, like you assumed was true for the other person, too, only want to have some drunken fun, the other person is using you to get over someone else, drowning their sorrows in the frantic touches of your lips.”
Once Rio finished her explanation she took a deep breath. She’d shared way more about this poem than she’d intended to. At least she’d kept it general and hadn’t embarrassed herself any further by revealing that it was something that’d actually happened to her not too long ago.
Aware that she couldn’t avoid the woman sitting at the other side of the desk any longer, Rio slowly dragged her eyes off the page and looked up.
The smile she found herself confronted with was so bright it was blinding. The purest form of excitement and something akin to pride were shining from the strikingly blue eyes of the woman in front of her.
It made a tentative smile engulf Rio’s own face in response.
“You’re not a writer,” Agatha Harkness declared.
“You’re a poet.”
—
“You’re a poet.”
Agatha Harkness’ words were still echoing inside Rio’s head when she fell into bed shortly after midnight. Honestly, she hadn’t been able to think about anything else ever since she‘d left the woman’s office.
The appointment, the whole experience it included, had been kind of surreal. After Rio had explained the meaning of her poem and her professor had so confidently declared her a poet, they’d come to the conclusion that the best thing for Rio to do as the assignment for the seminar would be to compile a portfolio of her poetry.
It was something Rio had never considered, and she still felt as hesitant about it as she’d had during the appointment.
Her poetry was her sanctuary, her safe haven. It was Rio’s way of making sense of the world, of her feelings, of everything that was going on around her. It wasn’t something Rio ever had intended to share with anyone.
Least of all Agatha Harkness.
Not even Alice, her best friend, knew about Rio’s love to play around with words. To twist them and tear them apart, just to put them back together again infused with a new meaning.
Wrapping her comforter tighter around herself in a search for comfort, Rio suppressed the urge to turn her head and scream into her pillow.
What the hell was she doing?
To be honest, she had no idea, and it scared Rio.
Never in her life had she felt so beside herself, so scattered, disorientated, lost.
It wasn’t the first time in her life Rio had felt this way, but it was by far the worst.
She’d always struggled to unite who she was with what was expected of her.
Whereas other kids had spent their time inside, playing video games, watching movies and reading comic books, Rio had always preferred to spend her time outside.
Surrounded by nature, little Rio had been able to forget the pressures of fitting in and could just be.
Later, in high school, she’d never been unpopular, had never been the victim of the cruel jokes of the jocks and cheerleaders. But she had always been a loner, teetering precariously on the edge between cool and weird.
That was how Rio had eventually discovered her love for poetry. It’d all been her English teacher’s fault really. Mr. Kaplan had been the one to introduce them to William Wordsworth’s poem ’We are seven’ in her sophomore year of high school, and Rio had been so fascinated with the simple way the words flowed and shaped images in her mind that she couldn’t resist the temptation to try it out for herself.
The first poems she’d written had been atrocious since she hadn’t had any idea what she was doing, and it had quickly frustrated her. But not one to give up so easily, Rio had gone to Mr. Kaplan and had asked him for recommendations of books that explained how poetry worked.
When she had found the books in the school library Rio had completely immersed herself in them, soaking up and savoring all the information they’d had to offer.
It’d been enlightening, and it had given her the motivation she’d needed to try again. More often than not Rio still had no idea what she was doing, but over time the words had begun to bleed out of her more easily, more freely.
And now, composing poems, letting her heart sing and her feelings fly, had become such an intricate part of who she was that Rio couldn’t even imagine what her life would look like without it.
Throughout the years Rio had filled notebook upon notebook with her handwritten poetry. She kept them all neatly stacked in the bottom drawer of her bedside table. From time to time, she would take one of them out and read through it again, remembering why she’d chosen those exact words, why she’d picked up her pencil to capture this exact feeling or moment for eternity.
It provided her with a sense of accomplishment stronger than anything else in her life had ever done. All those small books held the secrets of who she was. They were, in a sense, everything she was morphed into verses, rhymes and metaphors.
A plethora of words that would keep her essence tied to the pages forever.
With a groan Rio turned onto her stomach and dragged the blanket over her head while burying her face in her pillow.
She’d probably start writing poems about Agatha fucking Harkness soon.
Since Rio wrote about things that confused her, that she couldn’t stop thinking about, it was inevitable. Eventually, the words would pour out of her, lay her bare and expose Rio’s most intimate parts to herself.
It was only a matter of time.
Agatha Harkness had completely taken over her mind, and Rio wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep her hand from scrambling for a pen. The need to just write it out had already been burning low in her stomach for the past few days.
Heightened by the meeting with the woman this afternoon it felt almost impossible not to turn to her most treasured comfort. It actually surprised Rio how much she’d avoided writing anything lately.
Maybe it was self-preservation, some unconscious self-protection mechanisms that had kicked in for whatever reason. Maybe it was the knowledge that the something she felt every time she saw her professor, talked to her, thought about her, was going to change her life in unimaginable ways and turn everything upside down.
And maybe Rio wasn’t ready for that.
At least not yet.
But as much as this cautious, careful part screamed at Rio to stay put, to wait, there was also a part inside of her that craved to know, to figure it all out immediately.
This battle had been raging in her mind, heart and soul far longer than Rio liked to admit. It had probably begun the moment she’d run into Agatha Harkness on her first day back, although she’d had no idea who she’d even run into back then.
This was getting ridiculous.
With a huff Rio pulled the blanket off herself and reached over towards her nightstand to pick up the little notebook and pen she’d placed there when she’d gotten back from campus. She turned on the small light on her bedside table and then sat back cross-legged on her bed.
Rio’s impulsiveness had taken over, and before she was completely aware of what she was doing, Rio had already opened the small book and begun to write.
The words flowed from her heart straight through the pen onto the page. There was no stopping her now. The moment her pen had touched the page it had unlocked something inside of Rio.
After she’d scribbled the last word on the page Rio leaned back slightly and took in what she’d just written. Her eyes read over the lines slowly, carefully.
i found a bird the other day
perched inside my ribcage –
while i was stripping
bones back – to dissect
my heart –
confused –
i stared as
the little blue bird
chirped – merrily away –
unbothered – by my presence
Could it? – No, it couldn’t be! –
Had hope just found her way –
back to me?
Suddenly the realization, of what exactly the something she felt was, hit Rio like a freight train.
She had a crush on her professor.
She had a crush on Agatha fucking Harkness.
Notes:
Thoughts?
Let me know in the comments! :)
Here’s the full poem of Willam Wordsworth that I mentioned in the chapter:
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/52298/we-are-seven
Chapter 3: You cannot quench a Heart's Desire
Summary:
There are paper boats and poetry and revelations.
Notes:
Thank you all soooooooooooo much for the comments and kudos! I'm really feeling the love! <3
I'm sorry I haven't responded to any comments yet but I'm incredibly socially awkward and have no idea what to say. Just know that I treasure every single one of them in heart.
And now, please enjoy chapter 3! :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Three days later, during her Sunday afternoon shift at the Den, Rio was still reeling from her realization.
She just couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Her moves were robotic, automatic, as she prepared drinks for the customers. The chatter in the cozy café and the soft indie rock playing through the speakers went right over Rio’s head.
She didn’t hear anything, didn’t see anything. The thoughts inside her head were just too loud, too visceral, and they stole all of her attention.
Stella, who was once more her partner for this shift, had already asked her thrice if she was okay. Every time Rio had given her the same answer, had quietly uttered “I’m fine” with enough finality projected into her voice that Stella hadn’t dared to ask again, to push harder.
If she had, Rio had honestly no idea what she would have done. There was so much tension cursing through her entire body. She felt pulled as taut as a bowstring, ready to snap and release everything any second.
But Rio held on, barely, trying to soothe herself with the practiced movements of the routine her work provided.
It didn’t work. Not really, and it irked Rio.
No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t get rid of Agatha Harkness.
Of her crush.
Ugh.
Rio clenched her jaw as she reached for the next order receipt.
She didn’t get crushes. Never had.
Even in high school, when everyone around her had fancied one person or another and had gushed about them endlessly, Rio had never felt this ominous spark they’d all been talking about.
At the time, it had confused her to no end, and for a long while she had believed that there was something wrong with her.
Today, Rio knew better. It might have taken her years to figure it out, but now, she knew that there was nothing wrong with her. That there never had been.
For some time, Rio had thought that she might be aromatic. That love was something that just wasn’t made for her. Yet it had never been love Rio had had an issue with.
Quite the opposite actually, Rio longed for love, yearned for it from the depth of her heart. More than anything, she wanted to find this soul crushing romantic connection with someone that she’d seen displayed in so many movies and tv shows. That she’d come to understand by watching her parents interact with each other when she was a kid. That she’d read about in too many books to count.
Throughout the years though, a part of Rio had given up hope that she would ever find something like that. Maybe she was just destined to spend her life alone.
To dwell in the in-between of casual relationships and one-night stands until the day she died.
Rio, for the most part, had made her peace with it.
But then Agatha Harkness had come into her life, and it’d changed everything.
Somehow, the woman had resurrected the little blue bird inside Rio’s chest, had infused it with so much life that Rio’s hope had found her way back to her.
And now, a tentative belief began to bloom in Rio’s heart that maybe she wasn’t destined to be alone forever.
As much as the feeling exhilarated Rio, it also scared the shit out of her.
Agatha Harkness was her professor.
Not to mention that the woman was 14 years older than her.
Rio had found out that little tid-bit of information when she’d done a google deep dive on her professor on Saturday morning.
She still didn’t know what had possessed her to basically internet stalk the woman. Maybe it was just a part of the whole having a crush on her thing.
All Rio had wanted, in that moment, was to get to know more about her. In the end, her search had left her more disappointed than satisfied though.
Alice had been right when she’d said that Agatha Harkness was an incredibly private person. Although there was plenty of information online about the woman’s career and her achievements, there was next to nothing on who she was as a person.
All Rio had been able to find was her birthday.
July 23rd, 1984.
Besides this, there had been nothing.
No mention of her family members or friends. Not even Nicky.
No mention of past relationships.
No mention of a significant other.
Nothing. Nada.
The woman didn’t even have any social media.
On the one hand, it drove Rio slightly insane that there was so little information on her professor, on the other hand it also excited her a lot because it meant that she could figure it all out for herself.
Agatha Harkness was the most alluring mystery Rio had ever found, and she was dead set on unfurling every single aspect that made the older woman who she was.
If only there wasn’t the slight issue of Agatha Harkness also being her professor.
Rio had no idea what the college policy was on student-teacher relationships, but she did know that it was definitely frowned upon.
She sighed, the hissing of the milk she was currently steaming successfully covering the desperation in her tone.
It was the only thing that made her hesitate to pursue the woman.
If Agatha Harkness weren’t her professor Rio would go after her full steam ahead.
Alas, she was, and Rio felt at a loss about what to do next.
Should she go after her or should she just try to forget her?
Should she maybe just get to know the woman more without any strings attached?
Maybe then Rio would find out that Agatha Harkness wasn’t all she believed her to be, and it would put an end to her crush.
Rio doubted it.
This woman was special.
She was probably so much more than Rio imagined or believed her to be.
But she still felt like she at least had to try to somehow get a grip on her feelings. To nip this crush in the butt before it had the chance to mature into something more, something dangerous.
Something she couldn’t come back from as easily.
Not that it would be easy now, but Rio had to tell herself something to make this whole situation appear less daunting than it was.
Because the truth was, Rio was terrified.
For the first time ever in her life she had developed feelings for someone, yet this someone was someone she couldn’t possibly go after.
It frustrated her. It made her feel like the universe was playing some sick joke on her, dangling what she so deeply desired right in front of her but keeping it just far enough out of reach that she would never be able to take it.
Exhaling sharply to try and clear her head once more, Rio took the next order slip from Stella.
Now wasn’t the time to think about all of this. She was at work, and she had a job to do.
But when Rio read over the new order her eyes widened in shock. Abruptly her head snapped up and her gaze shot to the opposite side of the coffee shop.
There they were. Getting situated at the same table near the windows they’d sat at last week.
Agatha Harkness was helping her son take off his jacket, draping it over the back of his chair as he sat down. Then she gracefully walked around the table, took off her own coat and hung it onto the back of her chair in the same way she’d done with Nicky’s.
Rio turned around before her professor sat down, aware that the longer her eyes lingered the easier it would become for Agatha Harkness to catch her staring.
With slightly shaking hands and her heart pounding like a jackhammer inside her chest Rio began to prepare the ordered drinks.
One small Americano and one hot chocolate with whipped cream and extra sprinkles.
Just like last time.
Fuck.
What was she going to do?
Pretend like nothing was wrong. That was what Rio was going to do.
Hardening her resolve Rio finished getting the drinks ready with a flourish. She was going to get to know Agatha Harkness more, she would dive headfirst into the woman and get rid of this silly crush by uncovering that her professor wasn’t all she seemed to be.
It was a foolproof plan.
At least Rio hoped it was.
A sharp nod punctuated her decision. Then Rio turned towards Stella, the blonde woman was leaning casually against the counter where the register stood, her head buried in her phone. While Rio had been busy inside her own mind the slow trail of customers had, apparently, completely stopped. Hence, Stella’s current position.
“I’m going to take my break,” Rio addressed her co-worker.
Without looking up from her phone, Stella only mumbled a quiet “Sure” in response.
Nodding to herself once more, Rio grabbed the two mugs she’d just prepared and began to make her way out from behind the high bar top.
With every step Rio took that brought her closer to her destination, she began to curse herself a little bit more for thinking it would be a good idea to hand deliver the hot chocolate and coffee to Nicky and his mother.
But since she was already half-way to their table, it was too late to turn back around now.
Yet the closer she got the more her palms started to sweat, the stronger the flutter in her stomach became, the louder her own heart started to pound in her ears.
Her professor and her son were too absorbed in their conversation to notice her until Rio was standing right next to their table.
Smiling awkwardly, she placed the hot chocolate down in front of Nicky first, before she turned to face Agatha Harkness and put the mug of steaming coffee down on the table in front of her with a soft thud.
“One hot chocolate with whipped cream and extra sprinkles and one small Americano.”
Rio silently thanked whatever deity there was that her voice came out strong, unaffected and laced with her usual flair of not giving a fuck.
Did she actually feel that way?
Hell no.
But it was nice to pretend that she did.
In the presence of Agatha Harkness Rio always turned into a version of herself she barely recognized. The older woman had such a strong effect on her that all the sarcasm and the perfect air of indifference, which hung around Rio like her own personal trademarks, completely disappeared.
It left Rio feeling exposed. Naked. Vulnerable.
But she was determined to get her confidence back. To get her sarcasm and her indifference back.
She had to if she wanted any chance of getting over this ridiculous infatuation she harbored for her professor.
“RIO!” Nicky yelled and effectively tore Rio out of her thoughts.
Turning towards him a big smile stretched across her face. It warmed her heart more than she liked to admit that Nicky remembered her name.
“Nicky!” Rio beamed at the little boy, and he beamed back just as brightly.
Then suddenly his face scrunched up adorably.
“Do you know what recycling is?” he asked with a serious furrow in his brow. “Mama tried to explain it to me, but I still don’t understand, and she said that you study the environment, so do you know? Can you explain it to me?”
Cheeky, Rio thought, smiling to herself.
Then the rest of what Nicky had just said sunk in.
Wait, how did Agatha Harkness know she studied environmental science?
But before Rio could dwell on that particular thought any longer, her professor’s smooth voice interrupted her.
“Baby,” she softly spoke to her son, “Rio probably has to go back to work.”
Rio.
Agatha Harkness had just said her name. Rio’s head swiveled to stare at the older woman, but she wasn’t looking at her, the focus of her professor was entirely on her son.
“No, it’s fine,” Rio began, then cleared her throat. Her whole body was still burning from hearing her name fall from the lips of the woman she had a crush on. “I’m on break. I can stay. At least for a little while.”
Although Rio had spoken directly to the woman in front of her, she still hadn’t looked at Rio.
Rio frowned, wondering why that was, but then her frown was quickly replaced by another smile when she heard Nicky cheer next to her.
“Yay!”
Pulling a chair over from the empty table next to them, Rio placed it beside Nicky and sat down.
“You sure?”
Rio looked up when the question of her professor reached her. The moment their eyes met Rio almost gasped out loud.
Agatha Harkness looked so delicate.
She was wearing a dark flannel over a white shirt and her long hair hung loosely around her shoulders, soft strands framing her face perfectly.
“Yeah,” Rio breathed, barely audible, but the small smile the older woman sent her way in response told Rio she’d heard her.
A gentle smile of her own stretched across Rio’s face as the same thing happened that had happened last week, and they just kept staring at each other.
This really wasn’t helping Rio in any way to get rid of her crush.
Oh, well.
She was sure there would be other times for that in the future.
“So, what do you know about recycling?”
Nicky’s question finally broke them out of their trance, and Rio turned towards him, one eyebrow raised playfully.
“A lot,” she winked at him. “What do you want to know?”
“How does it work?” the little boy asked curiously, excitedly bouncing in his seat.
“Hmm, let’s see.” Rio looked around the table to see if she could find something that could help her to explain the recycling process to Nicky. Her eyes fell on the receipt of the drinks that lay next to her professor’s mug.
Yes, that’s perfect!
As Rio reached for the receipt, she raised her eyebrows in silent question at the woman next to her. Do you mind?
Agatha Harkness shook her head imperceptibly in answer. No.
Grinning at her professor, Rio snatched up the receipt and turned back to Nicky.
“Okay, so, you see this receipt? It’s made from paper, and we can actually recycle it right here right now.”
Nicky’s eyes widened in disbelief at her words. “Really?”
“Yeah, let me show you,” Rio smiled at him and started to twist the small piece of paper around in her fingers, turning and folding it this way and that way until…
“Tadaa!”
“Whoa!”
“It’s pretty cool, right?” Rio asked and Nicky nodded in response. “But you’re probably wondering what this has to do with recycling, well, recycling basically means that you take something old or used and turn it into something new. Like I just did when I took the receipt from your order, something old, and turned it into this little paper boat, something new. Does that make sense?”
Rio watched as her words sunk in and the biggest smile engulfed Nicky’s face.
“Yeah!” He exclaimed gleefully. “Can you show me how to make paper boats now?”
A sudden laugh burst out of Rio, and she reached over and fondly ruffled the little boy’s hair.
“Sure.”
So, that was what Rio did.
For the next fifteen minutes she taught Nicky how to make paper boats out of old order receipts. At some point she’d even called over to Stella to bring over the receipts the customers hadn’t taken with them which the blonde woman had reluctantly done, not very pleased that she’d had to take her face away from her phone.
She didn’t look at the older woman on her other side at all, too immersed in her interaction with Nicky, but she could feel Agatha Harkness’ stare burn into the side of her face. Rio wondered what she was thinking. What she thought of the way Rio interacted with her son.
Did she enjoy watching them as much as Rio enjoyed spending time with the little boy?
With the end of her break nearing, Rio knew she had to leave.
She really didn’t want to, though.
With a quiet sigh, running a hand through her hair, Rio got up and put her chair back to the table she’d taken it from.
“I have to got back to work now,” she announced and watched how Nicky’s face fell.
“Okay,” he sighed. “Thank you for teaching me how to make paper boats.”
“You’re very welcome,” Rio smiled at him, trying to ease the sting of her leaving.
Nicky studied her for a moment with an unreadable expression on his face, and Rio swore he looked just like his mother in that moment, before he spoke again, “Can I give you a hug?”
Rio’s heart melted at the question.
“Of course, buddy.”
As soon as the words left her mouth Nicky was out of his seat, his little arms wrapping tightly around her waist.
Rio chuckled and brought her arms up to wrap around his shoulders, reciprocating the hug. Nicky squeezed her tightly once more, his head buried in her stomach, then he let go and sat back down, immediately grabbing the armada of little paper boats to start playing with them.
With one last fond smile Rio finally tore her gaze away from him and looked at her professor.
Agatha Harkness was already staring at her. The expression on her face was unreadable, but there was a glimmer in her blue eyes, a certain shine that Rio had never seen before, and it made her heartbeat quicken.
“Goodbye, Rio.”
The words fell softly from even softer lips.
Rio had to suppress a shiver at the repeated use of her first name.
“Goodbye, Professor.”
She was just about to turn around and walk away when the appearance of a slight frown on the older woman’s face stopped Rio in her tracks.
“Outside of class, call me Agatha.”
What was it with this woman and her demands?
Could she not ask for anything like a normal person?
“Okay, Agatha,” Rio drawled, smirking, wanting to give Agatha Harkness a taste of her own medicine.
Inside she was delighted though. Her professor had told her to call her by her first name. That had to mean something, right?
Right?
Rio really hoped it did because the reaction of the woman when Rio spoke her name was priceless.
Her eyes widened, her breath hitched, and a faint blush began to color her cheeks.
Apparently, Agatha Harkness wasn’t as unaffected by her as Rio had assumed.
Interesting.
Emboldened by the turnaround of the situation Rio winked at the woman in front of her.
“Te veo.”
Then she turned around and walked away.
--
“Long time no see.”
Rio swirled around on the barstool she was sitting on toward the person who’d just come to a stop next to her.
“Alice, hey,” she smiled at her best friend, standing up to hug the small Asian woman.
After a quick embrace they both sat back down at the bar. It had been a while since they’d hung out, besides their usual lunch meetups they were both too busy with their respective schedules to have much time for anything else.
But now, finally, they’d managed to sort something out. Since both hadn’t left campus much so far this semester, they’d decided to meet up in one of their favorite bars just a short way off campus.
It was farther away from Rio’s apartment, but she didn’t mind the longer walk. The crisp autumn air gave her a chance to clear her head and to just breathe for a moment.
The last week of October had started on Monday, and as much as Rio loved spring and summer, this year she was somehow really looking forward to the darker months of the year.
“So…how have you been?” Alice asked, taking a sip of a beer which, apparently, Rio had missed her order, too adsorbed in her own thoughts.
Rio raised an eyebrow at the woman next to her.
“Really?” she deadpanned, bringing her own bottle of beer to her lips.
“What?”
Rio huffed out a laugh. “We’ve seen each other during lunch yesterday, Alice.”
“So?” The woman next to her smirked. “A lot can happen in a day.”
“Sure,” Rio shrugged, still amused.
In response, Alice just narrowed her eyes at her in jest before she delved into a story about how much of a hassle it had been this morning for her to procure some books from the college library that she needed for some essay.
Rio was only half-listening as her gaze trailed through the bar. Although it was still early, there were already a lot of people there, their chattering and laughing a constant background noise to her conservation with Alice. There was also music playing, not loudly, but loud enough to be heard over all the talking. It was an old rock playlist, and Rio liked the atmosphere it created in the bar.
It was one of her favorite things about this place actually. Another one was that the bar was too small to have a dance floor or pool tables or much space for anything really.
You just came here to sit at the bar, or at one of the old, rackety high tables that were scattered around the small space, and drink. That was it. Nothing more and nothing less.
It was exactly how Rio liked it. This particular Saturday evening perhaps even more so.
Six weeks had passed since her first day back.
Six weeks since she first met Agatha.
Agatha.
Rio was still thinking more about the older woman than she liked to admit.
To make matters worse, she still hadn’t managed to get rid of the crush she had on her.
The fact that she’d spent every Sunday hanging out with her professor and her son certainly didn’t help. But somehow, it had become a thing.
After Rio had taught Nicky about recycling and how to make paper boats, there had always been something else the little boy had wanted to know, so now it had become a routine.
Every Sunday afternoon during her shift Nicky and Agatha would come in. Every time they would order the same drinks, every time Rio would personally deliver them to their table, and every time she would spend her thirty-minute break with the two.
The plan, to quench her crush by getting to know Agatha better, Rio had quickly given up on.
It was no use.
The more time she spent with the older woman the more she began to intrigue her. In the short time Rio had known Agatha she had discovered so many layers of who she was, or pretending to be, and she wanted to peel back every single one of them.
The desire to push, to provoke, to uncover was beyond anything Rio had ever felt. It consumed her in ways that had her constantly trying to catch her breath when she was in the close vicinity of Agatha Harkness.
At least, by some miracle, Rio had managed to become more relaxed around the woman. Often, they would trade playful quips that went right over Nicky’s head and then burst out laughing at the confused expression on his face.
If Rio didn’t know any better, she’d say that a tentative friendship had begun to develop between them.
But she did know better.
Agatha was her professor. And as much as Rio wanted to be more than an acquaintance to her, she knew that it could never happen.
Not as long as they both attended Westview College.
Sometimes Rio wondered if Agatha felt the same way she did.
When the older woman smiled softly at her over the head of her son, when she challenged Rio with a playful gleam in her eyes and a smirk tucked into the corners of her mouth, or when she just wouldn’t stop staring at Rio even though Rio had caught her red-handed, it certainly seemed that way.
But then, in class, Agatha would ignore her completely, wouldn’t even look her way anymore, and it made Rio question everything all over again.
In the end, it didn’t really matter though.
They would never be more.
Rio was better off just letting it go than to continue wrecking her brain over it.
Inwardly, Rio laughed mockingly at herself.
If only it were that easy.
“Are you even listening?”
Alice’s question pulled Rio abruptly back into the present.
“Hm?”
Her best friend’s eyes narrowed, scrutinizing her. “Okay, what’s up? You’re being weird.”
“I’m not,” came Rios’s immediate denial.
She wasn’t weird, was she?
Sure, she hadn’t been listening, but that hadn’t really been her fault. If Alice wanted to blame anyone for her apparent weirdness, she should blame Agatha fucking Harkness.
Gods, the older woman had really done a number on her.
A quiet sigh left Rio’s lips as she started to fiddle with the label on her bottle, debating whether she should tell Alice what was going on inside her head.
She hadn’t so far. Hadn’t mentioned anything about her professor to her best friend besides the occasional report on how she was in class when Alice had asked.
Telling the woman next to her would make it real.
Not that it wasn’t real now. But talking about it, acknowledging it out loud, was something Rio didn’t know if she was ready for.
It would take away her illusion that she could still get over this crush.
That she wasn’t already in over her head.
Silently, Rio tried to figure out if there was a way she could share at least some of her feelings with Alice without giving too much away. Maybe she could keep it general and make it seem like it was something that didn’t refer to her.
Yeah, maybe that would work.
Taking in a deep breath to calm herself Rio spoke, “How do you get rid of a crush?”
Alice eyes widened in shock at Rio’s question, her mouth forming a little o shape of surprise. But then, before Rio knew what was happening, her best friend’s whole demeanor changed, and a devilish grin started to spread across her face.
“I can’t believe it! Do you, Rio Vidal, have a crush on someone?” Alice smiled teasingly.
“I don’t,” Rio narrowed her eyes at the woman next to her. “I’m just asking for a friend.”
Alice laughed.
“Sure, you tell yourself that while we both know that I’m your only and best friend.”
Screw Alice and her knowing-Rio-better-than-herself brain.
“So, who is she?” her best friend asked, trying to appear uninterested.
Rio knew she was anything but. Alice was probably burning to figure it all out since Rio had never before asked her anything remotely like this in the last six years they’d known each other.
“No one,” Rio huffed. “It’s not important.”
Alice eyed her up in response, her eyes slightly narrowed.
“Okay,” she relented, and Rio let out a quiet breath of relief. “You know you can talk to me though, right? About anything?”
Rio’s heart squeezed in her chest at Alice’s words. The young woman was truly one of the best people she knew.
“Yeah, I know,” Rio reassured her best friend, smiling softly at her.
Alice smiled back. “Okay.”
They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments until Rio remembered that she still hadn’t gotten an answer to her initial question.
“So?” she tried to get the conversation back on track.
“So what?” Alice asked back confused.
“How do I get rid of it?”
Rio watched as Alice mulled over the question before she raised her eyes from the bar top and looked right at her.
“Depends,” she started slowly, licking her lips thoughtfully before she continued, “when it’s just a small infatuation it usually just goes away on its own after a while. Trying to get to know the person you’re crushing on better sometimes helps, too, when you don’t already know them. Takes away the mystery, you know?”
No, Rio didn’t know, because she had tried that and all it had done was to blow up in her face spectacularly.
“When it’s a crush crush, like a serious thing, then there really isn’t much you can do. Stay away from the person maybe, so the feelings don’t evolve any further because those kinds of crushes? They are the ones that usually end in love.”
Fuck.
“What if you can’t stay away from them?” Rio asked carefully measuring her words, trying and failing not to give away too much.
Alice looked at her for a beat, then she reached over and patted Rio’s back sympathetically.
“Well, then, my friend, you’re screwed.”
And wasn’t that the truth.
--
On Monday, during her writing class, Rio was too busy scribbling into her little notebook to notice the session was coming to an end.
Agatha had introduced them to the poetry of Emily Dickinson today, and although Rio was familiar with her poems, to hear them read out loud by the older woman had done something to her. Had inspired her so much that she had to immediately put words on a page.
As the classroom was emptying around Rio she was still furiously jotting down verses, unable to stop until they made it all out of her mind.
After a short while Rio wrote down the last word and then she put her pen down with a flourish. Leaning back, she read over the poem she’d just written.
you cannot quench a heart’s desire
a thing that can beat – by itself
will instinctively fall – no matter the cost
regardless of reason or sanity
you cannot cage a soul
and put it behind bars
because freedom still would find it out
and break the captor’s heart
And then lower:
– inspired by Emily Dickinson’s poem ‘You cannot put a fire out’
Happy with how the poem had turned out, Rio smiled to herself and began to put her things away. When she looked up, ready to leave, she realized that she was the only one left in the room beside her professor.
Agatha was standing next to her desk at the front, her hip slightly leaned into it. Her arms were crossed across her chest, and she was looking at Rio with that same infuriating unreadable expression on her face as she so often did.
“Miss Vidal, a moment?”
The woman’s tone was smooth, almost velvety, and Rio craved to hear more of it.
“I – yeah,” Rio stuttered, surprised that Agatha was still here. Usually, she was the last one in and the first one out. She also usually didn’t acknowledge Rio’s existence in any way before, during or after class.
Wondering what it was that the older woman wanted from her, Rio slowly made her way to the front of the room.
Maybe she wanted to discuss something about the assignment?
Agatha was completely dressed in black today: black slacks, a black button down and black heels. Even her make-up was darker than usual, but the smokey eyes really suited her and brought out the striking blue color of her eyes even more.
All of it actually suited Agatha really well. Although it was way darker than her normal attire.
Now, that Rio had slightly gotten used to the effect the older woman had on her (how she made her heart pound, her stomach tingle and her hands shake) aided by the multiple Sunday afternoon interactions with her and her son, she’d finally managed to find her footing when confronted with Agatha Harkness.
“Professor,” Rio drawled as she leisurely came to a stop in front of the woman. “What’s up?”
Agatha didn’t say anything. She just uncrossed her arms and brought one of her hands down, putting her pointer finger onto an envelope that lay on the desk next to her. Rio hadn’t noticed it before, but now she couldn’t take her eyes off it as her professor slowly pushed the white letter over to her.
Was she supposed to take this?
Not knowing what exactly the woman in front of her expected Rio to do she looked up again and tilted her head questioningly.
Imperceptibly, Agatha nodded to her to take it.
Shrugging, Rio took a step forward, the top of her thigh pressing into the corner of the desk. She had never been this close to Agatha before. They were barely an arm’s length apart, and it made Rio’s heart race rapidly inside her chest as she reached down and picked the envelope up off the desk.
For a moment, she just held it in her hands and looked at it. It wasn’t addressed to anyone. The front and back of the letter were both blank.
“Open it.”
Apparently, Rio wasn’t fast enough in her approach as the demanding, almost impatient, tone she recognized in Agatha’s voice suggested.
Turning the envelope around once more, Rio opened it and pulled out a card the same size as a postcard. Only it wasn’t a postcard, it was an invitation.
An invitation to Nicky’s seventh birthday party to be more precise.
As Rio’s eyes went over the card, she took in the information it provided. The party was going to be on Saturday, October 30th. It was to start at 2pm and end at 7pm.
There was also an address on the card of where the party would take place. Although Rio wasn’t sure, she assumed that it was the address of Agatha’s house where she lived with Nicky.
When Rio turned the card over, she found the RSVP information on the back. She was supposed to mail her decision to attend or not to the mentioned e-mail address until Wednesday, October 27th.
The longer Rio stared at the card, the more she felt it tear her apart.
Her heart was so full of appreciation for this little boy who cared enough, considered them to be friends enough, to invite her to his birthday party.
But there was no way she could go.
As much as she wished to, Rio really didn’t think it would be a good idea.
She struggled enough already to keep herself, her heart and mind and soul, in check on the Sunday afternoons she spent with Nicky and his mother.
And to go to their house? To see how they lived?
That was a boundary that once crossed which she couldn’t come back from.
Right?
Still unsure on how to handle this, Rio looked up at Agatha. Maybe she could help her come to a decision. She found the older woman already looking at her.
“I shouldn’t,” Rio whispered into the space between them, swallowing hard.
Her emotions were threatening to overwhelm her as she realized how much she actually wanted to go to Nicky’s party. The thought of not going, of disappointing the little boy who had become so dear to her, almost broke Rio’s heart.
Agatha sighed, and looked down, breaking their eye contact. It made it so much harder for Rio to get a read on her. Although Agatha rarely gave anything away in her facial expressions, her eyes always betrayed her, and Rio had learned to read them.
She’d learned to see what lay beneath the surface.
But when Agatha wasn’t looking at her Rio was still as lost as ever as what was going on inside the older woman’s head.
Her professor was tracing her fingers over the desk in irregular patterns. Her eyes were fixed on the ground.
“No, you shouldn’t,” Agatha spoke softly. She still wasn’t looking at Rio. “But he wants you there.”
It seemed like there was more the older woman wanted to say but she hesitated as if mulling something over. Her fingers stopped drawing patterns on the desk. It appeared her professor had come to a decision.
Rio observed with bated breath as Agatha squared her shoulders and inhaled deeply. Then she looked directly at her.
The intensity in Agatha Harkness’ eyes stole Rio’s breath from her lungs.
“I want you there.”
Notes:
The Emily Dickinson poem Rio's poem is inspired by you can find here: https://allpoetry.com/You-cannot-put-a-Fire-out
Chapter 4: Discipline your Heart, my Friend, and discipline it right
Summary:
Nicky's birthday party.
Notes:
I'm blown away by all your lovely comments and all the kudos! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! <3
Now, please enjoy chapter 4! :)
Chapter Text
After her confession Agatha hadn’t given Rio any time to react. She’d just grabbed her stuff and had brushed past Rio all within a few seconds of leaving her speechless with her admission.
Rio had no idea how long she’d kept standing in the same place where the older woman had left her until she’d blinked herself out of her stupor and left.
The whole situation had seemed so surreal. Even now, five days later, Rio still couldn’t quite believe it had actually happened.
Had Agatha really admitted that she wanted Rio to come to Nicky’s birthday party?
It felt too good to be true.
Why would she even say something like that?
Was Rio’s hunch right and Agatha did maybe feel the same way she did?
Or had her professor just said what she’d said because she didn’t want Rio to disappoint her son?
Rio really wished Agatha wouldn’t have left as fast as she had. She wished the older woman would have stayed, would have explained what exactly she meant in more detail because the lack of answers was driving Rio crazy.
Throughout the last few days Rio had replayed their conversation over and over in her mind, dissecting every little thing she could remember about how Agatha had looked, how she had moved, what she had said.
But all that had done was to leave Rio with even more questions.
As far as she knew Agatha wasn’t even queer.
Granted, she also didn’t know if she was straight either.
Yet all signs seemed to point to her professor being more hetero than homo. Alone the fact that most of the population subscribed to relationships between men and women was enough to prove this. Not to mention that the woman had a child.
Somehow though, Rio also found points to refute those facts. Like, just because most of the population was straight didn’t mean Agatha was. And just because she had a kid didn’t mean she wasn’t queer.
There were so many ways for women to get pregnant nowadays that did not involve sleeping with a man. Plus, there was also always adoption. Although Rio doubted that that was the case with Nicky. He looked just too much like his mother.
Hell, Rio didn’t even know if Agatha was single.
She knew that the older woman wasn’t married. Rio had learned this during the first seminar session when Agatha had introduced herself as Miss Harkness.
Miss, not Mrs.
So, that was at least something. Even if it didn’t give Rio any further clue as to what the relationship status of her crush was.
Sometimes Rio wondered if it even mattered.
It wasn’t like anything was ever going to happen anyway.
Agatha was her professor, and that was something that wouldn’t change anytime soon.
It put a wall between whatever it was between them that would always remain too high, too solid, to be crossed.
So, why bother?
Maybe Rio should just take a step back and distance herself. Take herself and her heart out of the equation before she ended up in too deep to recover.
Who was she kidding?
She was already in way too deep.
And distancing herself from Agatha would also mean that she had to distance herself from Nicky, which was something Rio really didn’t want to do.
Just like his mother, the little boy was too special to let go.
He filled up spaces inside of Rio that she never knew needed filling. He gave her a new perspective on life when he took in the world around him with wide enthusiastic eyes.
While she taught Nicky all about the world around them, Nicky taught her how to just be. To see the wonders of the earth again and to treasure them like they deserved to be treasured.
He taught Rio how to just enjoy the moment, to be present in the present, without thinking about it too much like she so often tended to do.
Although Rio hadn’t known the little boy for long, he’d already changed her life for the better. And the thought of not having him in her life anymore was something Rio couldn’t even imagine.
“We’re here.”
The voice of the Uber driver broke through her thoughts.
Blinking herself back into reality, Rio gazed out of the backseat window next to her.
They’d come to a stop in front of an off-white two-story house with a black roof in the suburbs of Westview. It was the picture-perfect white picket fence family home. There was a small front yard with a stone path that led up to a small porch with a little bench on it, and colorful flowers bloomed in boxes hanging off the railing.
It looked modern yet cozy.
Rio had no clue what she imagined Agatha’s house to look like, but this was kind of perfect.
Tearing her gaze away from the window, Rio looked at the driver in the front seat.
“Thanks,” she nodded to him, then she grabbed her things and reached over to open the car door.
The door fell shut behind her with a soft thud, and a moment later the engine revved and the car pulled away from the curb, leaving Rio standing on the sidewalk alone and terrified.
This was such a bad idea.
Rio was still struggling with what exactly had possessed her to come here.
There was no way this would end in anything else but disaster.
Alas, she was here now, and there was no way for her to turn back around and leave.
For Nicky.
That was why she was here.
Because she cared too much about the little boy to not come to his birthday party when he had personally invited her.
Realizing she was still standing unmoving on the sidewalk, Rio inhaled deeply and forced herself to take a step forward.
And then another.
And another.
After a few steps her feet finally seemed to get the message and carried her towards the front door of her professor’s house without further prompting.
The strap of her messenger bag cut heavily into Rio’s shoulder as she walked, reminding her of the reason she was here, rooting her in the present and keeping her from panicking any more than she already was.
For Nicky, Rio repeated to herself.
This was going to be her mantra for today.
It didn’t matter how Rio felt about Agatha, or how Agatha felt about her. Today was about Nicky. It was his birthday after all.
She wondered if the little boy would be surprised to see her. He probably would be since she hadn’t RSVPed whether she would come or not.
Honestly, Rio hadn’t been sure until this morning. When she’d woken up all she’d been able to think about had been Nicky and how sad his little face would look if she didn’t show up.
It had been enough to get her out of bed and into her favorite pair of ripped black skinny jeans and one of her oversized band shirts within half an hour.
In the next half hour, she’d completed her look with a discreet smokey-eye, her black leather jacket and her pair of dark blue Doc Martens.
Then Rio had rushed out of her apartment in a desperate search of a present for Nicky. Since the boy loved everything that had to do with nature and animals, she’d decided to get him a little set with which he could create an aquatic ecosystem and grow his own prehistoric crabs.
It had taken Rio forever to find the set though, which meant that she was now already thirty minutes late for the party.
Rio was just about to knock on the front door when a note pinned to it caught her attention. Her eyes trailed over it slowly, reading what it said.
Apparently, the party was taking place in the backyard and Rio was to let herself in by using the gate next to the house to get there. With a huff Rio turned around and looked for the gate. She found it on the right side of the porch, settled neatly into the high dense hedges surrounding it.
She jumped down the two steps she’d just gone up and began to make her way towards it. But after a few feet Rio abruptly turned around and went back to one of the flower boxes hanging from the porch railing.
Quickly she pulled at one of the flowers, effectively cutting its stem in half with the sharp movement of her hand. Then, she began to make her way over to the gate once more, a wicked grin on her face.
A sudden thrill had encompassed Rio’s whole being at the thought of being near Agatha again. She wondered what the older woman would think when she would come strolling into the backyard in a few moments.
Sure, Rio was mainly here for Nicky, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t needle her professor at least a little bit after the stunt she’d pulled when she’d given Rio the invitation.
Hence, the flower.
The idea had come to her in a sudden burst of clarity.
Agatha had said she wanted Rio here, and although Rio wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, the words had been clear enough to give her an excuse to fall back on should she need one.
Maybe if she provoked the older woman, pulled and pushed at her edges just a little bit, Rio would get some answers.
Why hadn’t she thought of that earlier?
It was the perfect plan!
Hardening her resolve to get at least something out of her professor today, Rio pushed open the gate and stepped into the backyard, excitement brimming in her bones.
Time to face the music.
--
“Heard you guys were having a party,” Rio announced her presence as she stepped around the corner, spreading her arms wide with a flourish.
Before she could take in the scene in front of her though a little body came barreling towards her, throwing his whole weight at her.
“Rio! You came!” Nicky squealed gleefully as Rio caught him under his arms with an uff.
She spun the little boy around in a circle, smiling as she shrieked with laughter. When she put him down again, they were both breathless, staring at each other with mirroring grins on their faces, panting hard.
“Of course I came! I wouldn’t have missed this for the world!” Rio exclaimed as she got down on one knee in front of Nicky. She pulled the neatly wrapped present out of her bag and handed it over to him. “For you. Happy birthday, buddy!”
“You got me a present?” Nicky’s grin widened even more. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”
He carefully took the present out of Rio’s hand and ran over to a large table standing in the middle of the yard. Rio chuckled when she saw that he had already torn the wrapping paper halfway off the set on his way over.
“What are you doing here?”
Agatha.
Taking a deep breath Rio tried to calm her racing heart. Putting on this show, this façade, was harder than she’d thought it would be.
Especially when faced with Agatha Harkness.
Pushing past the effect the older woman had on her, how she always managed to just unsteady everything Rio was, she got up off the ground and turned around to face her professor.
Agatha was standing a few steps away from her. She was dressed in a dark blue, checkered flannel and jeans that hung low on her hips. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, a few strands hanging on her face. Rio wanted to do nothing more than reach out and tuck them behind the woman’s ear, letting her fingertips trail over her sharp jawline on their way back.
“I was in the neighborhood,” Rio shrugged with a grin, desperate to focus on anything else but the thoughts inside her head.
Stepping closer to Agatha, she reached into the pocket of her leather jacket and pulled out the flower she’d put there after she’d ripped it from the flower box on the older woman’s front porch.
With a slight bow, Rio presented the flower to her professor, holding it out for Agatha to take.
“Surprise, m’lady.”
Rio watched as Agatha’s eyes narrowed and her whole posture stiffened, her hands baling into fists at her sides.
Oh oh.
Maybe this hadn’t been the best idea.
Agatha growled deep in her throat and Rio swallowed. Then the older woman moved forward, snatched the flower out of Rio’s hand, turned around and disappeared with quick angry strides through the backdoor into her house.
Gaping after her professor, Rio still stood with her arm outstretched in the middle of the backyard.
What the hell?
Whatever had just happened it had definitely been something.
As her arm dropped down to her side Rio noticed, for the first time, the other people standing in front of her.
Had they been there the whole time?
Had they seen her interaction with Agatha?
They probably had.
Rio eyed them up casually, trying to appear unfazed. On the far left stood a white woman with scarlet hair and green eyes, dressed in a flowy red dress with a light gray blazer over it. Next to her stood a black woman. Her head was bald and her make up immaculate. She was wearing a light pink dress with long sleeves that was cinched at the waist. On the right stood an older woman, her curly dark hair interspersed with gray streaks. She was wearing a long dark green skirt and a yellow sweater underneath a colorful patchwork jacket.
They were all staring at Rio with varying degrees of interest and skepticism.
“So…you’re Rio?” the dark-skinned woman was the first to speak, raising an eyebrow at her as she crossed her arms across her chest.
“Yep, that’s me,” Rio grimaced, hoping her smile didn’t look as awkward as it felt.
What had she just gotten herself into?
--
A lot it turns out.
Rio had gotten herself into a lot.
Although there weren’t many people at the party it had been quite…something.
After the first awkward meeting of the other adults present, they had all introduced themselves to Rio. The red head was Wanda, Agatha’s next-door neighbor and good friend. The black woman was Jen, her professor’s manager, and the older woman was Lilia, Nicky’s godmother.
Wanda’s kids, the twins Billy and Tommy, were also at the party. They were the same age as Nicky and apparently also went to the same school as him.
The three boys had spent most of the afternoon running around the backyard, tiring themselves out by playing tag and soccer and some ridiculous game they’d made up on the spot which involved a lot of jumping.
Rio and the other adults had mostly kept to the big table in the middle of the backyard, just chatting and getting to know each other.
It’d been a nice day. The sun had been out, the sky blue, and it’d been unusually warm for it being this late in October.
Getting to know the people in Agatha’s life better had also been really nice. Rio just wished that the older woman herself would’ve spent more time with them, but Agatha had barely been around.
Once she’d sat down, she’d always been quick to get up again with one or another excuse about having to take care of this or that.
Rio had no idea what to make of it. She didn’t think Agatha actually had anything to take care of. To be honest, it almost felt like the older woman had been trying to avoid her as much as she could.
It bothered Rio more than she liked to admit.
Thankfully, the three little boys had pulled her into their soccer game sometime throughout the afternoon because they’d been one player short. So, Rio had paired up with Nicky and together they’d taken on Billy and Tommy.
Needless to say, her and Nicky had destroyed their opponents.
Although Rio didn’t exercise much anymore, she had once played soccer on the varsity team all throughout high school, and a lot of the muscle memory of how to pass and shoot and dribble was still there.
Rio honestly wasn’t sure when the last time was, she had this much fun as she had running around with Nicky and Billy and Tommy, chasing the three kids around the backyard, all of them shrieking with laughter.
Now the party was slowly winding down. It was almost 7pm and it had already gotten dark outside. The others had just gone inside to say their goodbyes, but Rio had already said hers while they’d still been out in the backyard, so she hadn’t joined them.
Instead, she’d strolled over to the swing set at the far end of the yard.
She just needed a moment.
Agatha’s behavior today had thrown her a lot more than Rio had expected. The older woman had just been so distant. Rio had never seen her like that, so very closed off. Not even in class, where Agatha tended to ignore Rio more often than not, had her professor ever built her walls as high as she had built them today.
Rio scuffed the front of her shoe into the ground, slowly swinging back and forth, eyes cast downward.
Maybe the thing with the flower had been too much?
Maybe it was because she’d just shown up unannounced?
In her peripheral vision Rio saw someone making their way over to her. Looking up, she saw that it was Nicky.
The little boy had a conflicted expression on his face, and Rio began to frown as she watched him sit down on the empty swing seat next to her.
“What’s up, buddy?” she greeted him, trying to keep the worry that had suddenly pierced her heart out of her voice.
When Nicky just continued to stay quiet, Rio’s frown deepened along with the worry in her heart.
“You okay, Nicky?” she tried again, but the little boy still didn’t react.
Although Rio’s mind was racing with possibilities of what could have possibly happened to turn the otherwise so jubilant kid so serious, she decided to not push any further.
If Nicky wanted to talk to her, he would, in his own time.
Barely thirty seconds later the little boy heaved a big sigh. It made him sound so much older than the seven years he was.
Nicky kept his eyes on the ground and his face closed off when he finally spoke, “Are you and Mama fighting?”
Rio whipped her head around to stare speechlessly at the boy next to her. Her first instinct was to deny what he’d just asked, to tell him that no, Agatha and her weren’t fighting.
But Rio hesitated. Nicky was too smart for his own good sometimes, and he would probably see right through her.
Because the truth was that Rio didn’t know.
Were her and Agatha fighting?
She had no idea.
It didn’t seem like a fight to Rio, to her it was more like a distance had spread between them that had never been there before. But perhaps Agatha saw it differently and thought that they were fighting, and Rio just hadn’t gotten the memo.
She could certainly understand where Nicky was coming from though. Her and Agatha had barely spoken with each other today, and of course, Nicky had noticed. His child brain probably immediately associated the not talking with fighting since to kids that was what fights usually looked like.
When Nicky turned towards her, Rio’s heart ached at the uncertainty she found in his eyes.
“I don’t know,” Rio smiled sadly at him, running a hand through her hair. She just couldn’t lie to him. He might still be a kid but that didn’t mean he didn’t deserve the truth. “Maybe.”
Intensely, Nicky eyed her up in response, eyes slightly narrowed. Then he let out a frustrated huff of air.
“Well, I think you should just kiss and make up.”
Rio choked on nothing but air at the little boy’s words. She tried to mask it with a cough, yet the small smirk on Nicky’s face told her that he was very aware of her reaction.
Damn this kid for being way too perceptive for his age.
“Or not kiss, you know? Like, that’s really up to you. Mama taught me that two girls or two boys kissing is just the same as when a girl and a boy kiss, so I won’t mind,” Nicky shrugged cheekily.
“You should definitely talk to her though,” he added more seriously. “I think she misses you.”
Agatha missed her?
A sudden flash of anger shot down Rio’s spine and she squared her shoulders.
The older woman had a really funny way of showing it.
Rio had asked herself the whole day whether she had overstepped and ruined everything. Had cursed herself for pulling the stunt with the flower, for even showing up to the party in the first place!
Gods, this was all so fucked up.
As suddenly as it had come Rio’s anger disappeared again. Instead, a heavy sadness began to envelop her.
What had she expected?
Agatha was her professor. Of course she would stay away from Rio.
Hell, she probably didn’t even feel the same as her.
Agatha was probably doing her a favor by putting so much distance between them.
That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt though.
Somehow, a small part of Rio had believed that there was something, and that they could both feel it. But that had probably just been wishful thinking on her part.
It was the first time ever Rio even had a crush after all. She had no idea how these things worked. She’d never been invested enough in anybody to try to decipher if they were invested in the same way.
Basically, Rio had no experience whatsoever with any of this.
She sighed, her eyes moving back down to the ground.
“I miss her, too,” Rio whispered, too quiet for Nicky to hear.
Nevertheless, the admission felt like a heavy weight was lifted from her shoulders. Even though Rio had no idea where Agatha stood, she at least knew where she did.
Nicky was right. They needed to talk. Especially since it was affecting the little boy now as well. The last thing Rio wanted was to see Nicky hurt just because Agatha and her couldn’t get their shit together.
They didn’t need to become anything.
But they needed to figure out a way to get along because Rio didn’t plan to stop being a part of Nicky’s life anytime soon.
He was just too special, and she cared about him too much.
“NICKY!” Wanda yelled across the backyard. “Come say your goodbyes!”
Rio watched as Nicky got off the swing with a huff and started to make his way toward the house. After only a few steps he turned back and faced her though.
“Are you going to stay?” he asked hesitantly.
Rio hated to see him so scared, so uncertain, so she did the only thing she could think of to make him feel better in this moment.
“Yeah,” she smiled softly at him, relieved when a small grin spread over Nicky’s face at her confirmation.
“Okay,” he now grinned widely at her and the worry in Rio’s heart finally eased. Then he spun back around and started to run towards the house.
Agatha might not be talking to her right now for whatever reason, but honestly? Screw her.
Nicky wanted her here, and that was all that mattered to Rio right now.
--
Agatha and her still hadn’t talked.
As soon as Rio had made her way inside after everyone had left, Nicky had dragged her upstairs to help him set up the aquatic set she’d gotten him.
They had been at it for quite some time now. After they’d precisely followed the instructions to install the little aquarium for the prehistoric crabs in Nicky’s room, the little boy had begun to pull out various toys and games to show to her.
And, for a little while, Rio had been able to forget all about a certain professor who so often captured her mind.
But then Nicky had asked her to help him get ready for bed. Rio, of course, couldn’t deny him anything.
That was how she now found herself slowly making her way back downstairs to tell Agatha that Nicky wanted her to tuck him in though. Rio had already helped him brush his teeth and put on his pajamas. She’d even read a story to him.
There was nothing left to do, but to get the boy’s mother.
Dread pooling in her stomach, heart racing and palms sweating, Rio fully stepped into the open downstairs area of the house.
Opposite her, Agatha was standing in the open kitchen, putting the dishes they’d used for the cake earlier into the dishwasher. Besides the occasional clang of the plates or cutlery, it was eerily quiet.
A heavy tension hung over the room.
Or at least that was what it felt like for Rio.
Taking a deep breath and dragging her feet, she stepped closer to the older woman and softly called out to her.
“Agatha?”
Agatha spun around quickly at the sound of her name. Her face was mostly cast in shadows due to the darkness of the house, only a small lamp in the kitchen illuminating the room.
Still, Rio could see the deep frown on Agatha’s face clear as day. The blue of her eyes resembled a turbulent storm more than the calm of the ocean as she stood there and stared at Rio.
Rio swallowed, feeling way out of her depth.
“Nicky wants you to tuck him in.”
Agatha only nodded once in response, then she turned around and closed the dishwasher with a soft thud. Before Rio knew what had happened, the older woman had already brushed past her with long strides and disappeared upstairs.
All that lingered behind was her scent. Lavender and Sandalwood, and something inherently Agatha.
Rio breathed it in and then abruptly stopped when she realized what exactly she was doing.
This crush was really getting out of hand.
She hadn’t signed up for this.
Fuck.
Whoever decided that it would be a good idea for her to become this infatuated with her professor, Rio would really like to have a word with them.
To tell them to make it stop.
To get her out of feeling like this.
It was just too much.
Everything.
All of it.
Rio wasn’t even sure if this was just a crush anymore. Somehow, it felt like more. It felt like real feelings were involved, like it had become more without her even being aware of it.
At least until now.
Until today, when Agatha had distanced herself and Rio had no idea how to handle it.
It sucked.
It sucked so fucking much.
And it hurt.
Rio finally understood the devastation now that seemed to follow people around whenever their feelings weren’t reciprocated.
What a cruel cruel world they lived in where it was possible for humans to hurt each other like this.
If this was what it was going to be like every time Rio had a crush, then she would honestly prefer to go back to never having experienced one at all.
Ignorance really was bliss sometimes.
Realizing she was still standing where she’d first come to a stop when she’d walked downstairs, Rio shook herself out of her thoughts and began to make her way over to the couch next to her.
Agatha finding her right where she left her would probably not end up great.
With a heavy sigh, Rio fell down onto the soft cushions of the couch.
Maybe she should just leave.
There was no reason for her to stay any longer, now that Nicky had been put to bed.
Yeah, she should leave.
Talking to Agatha now would probably only cause more harm than it would do good.
Rio knew she was too hurt to be fully rational, and the same was maybe (probably) also true for Agatha.
Perhaps they should just give it a few days. Let it all rest, calm down, and then get together and discuss how they were going to move forward.
Yeah, Rio was just going to leave.
But just as she was about to stand up a small stack of blank notebook paper on the far end of the couch table in front of her caught her attention.
As her eyes fell on the pencil laying next to them a sudden burst of words infiltrated Rio’s mind and she hastily reached over to pick up one of the blank pages and the pencil.
Since her little notebook was in her bag and her bag was somewhere near the front door, this was the next best thing.
Whenever the words flashed, Rio needed to put them down immediately, or otherwise she would lose them. She couldn’t even spare the few minutes it would take to get her bag, so she could write them into her own small book.
Without further ado Rio leaned forward, the pencil in her hand noisily scratching over the rough paper as she rapidly jotted down line after line.
The presence of someone coming to a stop next to her had Rio suddenly looking up, startled by the intruder.
Agatha.
The sigh of relief she was just about to breathe got stuck in her throat when the older woman leaned down and took the paper Rio had just written on off the table.
Heart racing in her chest, Rio watched as Agatha eyed it up.
She wanted to take it back, to snatch the paper right out of Agatha’s hands, to keep her from reading the poem Rio had just composed.
But somehow, something stopped her, and she stayed still.
With bated breath Rio observed the woman next to her, recalling the lines in her head as she watched Agatha’s eyes move over them.
discipline your heart, my friend –
and discipline it right –
so it won’t fall for flavors
never meant to be tried -
protect yourself from poison –
from the anthropoid snakes –
hearts are meant to be broken
a lie so true it aches –
When Agatha looked up from the paper and her eyes found Rio’s, there was so much desperation written into the expression on her face that it made Rio’s heart shatter inside her chest.
“Rio…”
Chapter 5: Take my Hand and dance
Summary:
Rio reads a book.
TW: Panic attack
Notes:
Hellooooo :)
Your comments are everything to me, and they make me smile so much my cheeks hurt! Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your kind words! <3
Concering the updates of this fic I just want you to kmow that, first of all, this fic won't be abandoned!!! I have the whole story planned out and I'm going to finish writing it.
That said, I don't have any chapters pre-written. I just post them as I write them lol. So, it's kind of tricky for me to set a schedule with updating. Right now, I'm posting 2 chapters a week and I want to keep it that way but I'm also at Uni and have a lot of stuff to do there, so there might be weeks in the future where I only update once.If you want any more info on updates or this fic in general or you'd just like to bother me you can come yell at me on twitter @rios_pet1693.
Now, without further ado, please enjoy chapter 5!
Chapter Text
“Rio…”
Her name left Agatha’s mouth as a desperate plea.
A plea for what? Rio had no idea.
She couldn’t get a read on the older woman beside the desperation that clung so firmly to her.
Agatha was still holding the piece of paper with Rio’s poem on it in her hands, and her eyes kept flicking down to it, as if she had to constantly make sure that it was still there.
That it was real.
It’s real, Rio thought to herself, it’s so fucking real, willing Agatha to read her mind so she would know, and Rio wouldn’t have to say it out loud.
Because she wasn’t sure she could do that.
Agatha hadn’t said anything else since Rio’s name had left her lips, and it made Rio feel uneasy.
The older woman always had something to say, so why was she so quiet now?
Abruptly, Rio stood up, she just couldn’t sit down any longer, and walked around the small couch table, running a hand roughly through her hair as she went.
Her whole body felt like a livewire. There was an incessant buzzing running through her veins Rio just couldn’t seem to shake. It felt a lot like foreboding. Like, something was about to happen.
Something important.
Something that would intimately alter the course of her life.
Suddenly, a burst of fear exploded inside of Rio. Her breath became ragged, and her hands started to tremble.
Was she ready for whatever was coming?
Did she want it?
No.
The answer hit her without any warning. She wasn’t ready. She couldn't do this.
Not now.
Not after the day she’d had.
Maybe not ever.
Frantically, Rio’s gaze moved around the room, but she couldn’t take anything in, couldn’t see anything. Her vision was becoming blurry.
Her heart was beating so fast now, Rio thought it might stop any minute, and the raggedness of her breath had increased tenfold.
She had to get out of here.
This was all too much.
“I should leave,” Rio pressed out between clenched teeth. “I need to leave.”
Without waiting for a reaction from the woman opposite her, Rio sharply turned around and hastily began to make her way towards the front door.
“Rio!”
The call of her name sounded muffled in her ears. Rio ignored it and just kept going, her whole body shaking.
“STOP!”
Before Rio knew what had happened her body had already subconsciously followed the demand. Her feet came to a sudden halt, and she almost fell flat on her face from the abrupt stop.
The appearance of a hand on her shoulder made her flinch. The touch was burning her, threatening to eat her alive. But at the same time, it was grounding her, rooting her to the spot, calming the buzzing in her veins.
She was still breathing too fast, too hard, Rio knew. Yet she just couldn't seem to catch her breath and get her lungs back under control.
The pressure on her shoulder increased, a silent order for her to turn around. Rio followed its lead willingly.
When she came face to face with Agatha, the concern on the older woman’s face made Rio’s heart stop.
“Breathe.”
And this one, single, gently whispered word kickstarted it again.
Rio sucked in a deep breath, her lungs finally filling with much needed oxygen.
“Good, again,” Agatha breathed, her eyes never leaving Rio’s.
After a few moments Rio had her breath back under control. Her heart also wasn’t beating out of her chest anymore, although it was still racing rather rapidly.
Slowly, her other senses started to come back to Rio as well. She could see and hear again, and her body stopped shaking, leaving only a small tremble in her hands behind.
“Thank you,” she whispered, and her voice cracked on the words.
A part of her was ashamed of what had just happened, embarrassed that she’d basically just had a panic attack in front of the woman she had a crush on. In front of her professor.
In front of Agatha Harkness.
But the look in Agatha’s eyes quickly had those feelings fading.
Her bright blue eyes shone with tenderness, with softness and vulnerability. Rio had never seen her professor with such an open expression on her face.
It made Rio’s breath catch again for just a moment.
“Are you okay?” Agatha asked softly, her hand gently squeezing Rio’s shoulder before she let it drop away.
Rio only nodded in response. She didn’t quite trust her voice yet.
She was still shaken from what had just happened, but she was also slowly starting to feel better. Rio took another deep breath, closed her eyes and ran a hand through her hair once more.
It was a nervous habit she hadn’t been able to shake since her childhood.
When she opened her eyes again Agatha had begun to move back to the couch at the other end of the room.
Rio observed how the older woman carefully sat down on the right side and how she patted the spot next to her with her hand once she was seated, indicating for Rio to come and join her.
So, Rio did.
With deliberate steps she found her way to Agatha and tentatively sat down next to her, making sure to leave at least a couple of feet of space between them.
“We should probably talk,” Agatha said as she turned towards her.
Rio huffed a mirthless laugh. “Yeah, probably.”
“I…” Agatha started, then stopped. The expression on her face had become closed off, unreadable, once more. All that was left behind was a warring gleam in her eyes that told Rio the older woman was struggling with this, too.
Maybe not as much as Rio was, but still.
“We…I…” the woman next to her began again, and then let out a frustrated rush of air when the words still seemed to elude her.
Rio just waited. She wanted to give Agatha all the time she needed to say what she wanted to say.
Whatever it was, it felt important.
“We can’t,” Agatha spoke resolutely after a short while, squaring her shoulders as if bracing herself for an attack.
Rio’s heart sank.
After a second, she added more quietly, shoulders slumping slightly forward, “I can’t.”
And then it broke.
Rio tried to swallow down the emotion that began to rise in her throat. This was not the time to fall apart.
Not here, not now.
Not in front of Agatha.
Not again.
She wondered why she was even surprised, why it hurt so much, to hear Agatha say those words. It wasn’t like Rio hadn’t already known this.
There would never be a chance for them.
And yet, somehow, Rio had fooled herself into thinking that there might.
Silently, she cleared her throat to get rid of the lump lodged inside of it.
“Okay, Agatha.”
Her voice sounded more strained than Rio would have liked, but at least it wasn’t cracking anymore.
“I guess, I’m just going to leave then,” Rio continued, already pushing herself of off the couch.
Well, this had probably been the shortest talk Rio had ever had.
But she didn’t know what else there was to say. Agatha had made her standpoint perfectly clear. And although Rio struggled with her emotions, she understood where the older woman was coming from.
It was just a truly fucked up situation.
“Wait,” Agatha hastily began, effectively halting Rio in her movements. As she came to a stop next to the small couch table, she looked up at the woman still sitting on the couch.
“Can we be…friends?” she hesitantly asked, her eyes ruthlessly boring into Rio’s. It was such a start contrast to the tone in the older woman’s voice that, for a moment, Rio thought she’d imagined it.
She blinked.
No, the bone crushing intensity was still in Agatha’s eyes.
“I…” cutting herself off with another huff, Agatha ran a hand through her disheveled ponytail. “For Nicky. That boy adores you and he’s been through so much, I–“
Rio didn’t think her heart could break anymore than it already had but apparently, she’d been wrong. She interrupted Agatha before she could say anything else and make it even worse. Hearing her own mantra which had been her guiding light throughout the day fall from the lips of the woman in front of her had already been bad enough. “Okay.”
Surprised, Agatha looked up at Rio, her eyes wide and open. She looked so incredibly vulnerable at that moment. Rio’s heart clenched inside her chest.
“Okay?”
“Yeah, let’s be friends,” Rio stated, then swallowed hard. “For Nicky.”
When the realization of what Rio had just said and that she had actually accepted her proposal dawned on Agatha’s face, she nodded imperceptibly.
“For Nicky.”
It was just a breath, a whisper into the air between them, but Rio heard it.
Smiling sadly at Agatha one last time Rio turned around and began to make her way towards the front door once more. When she reached the doorway, Rio couldn’t keep herself from stealing one last glance at Agatha Harkness.
Still sitting on the couch, the woman looked to be deep in thought, a small crease decorating her forehead.
Rio smiled softly.
Adorable.
“Goodbye, Agatha. Te veo.”
The woman’s head snapped up at her words, but Rio didn’t stick around to see her reaction. Instead, she disappeared around the doorway, put on her shoes, grabbed her bag and jacket and left.
This time, Agatha didn’t stop her.
--
On Monday, in her creative writing class, Rio was once again not paying attention. Honestly, she had no idea what they were even doing today. She was just too adsorbed in her own thoughts, reminiscing about everything that had happened during the weekend.
Agatha and her had decided to be…friends.
For Nicky.
Rio wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, but it was kind of also the only thing that they could do.
Anything more than friends was just impossible, and anything less would be unbearable.
Rio suppressed the urge to sigh. What the hell had she gotten herself into?
There were moments, little blips, where she regretted ever signing up for this class. Where she regretted meeting Agatha Harkness and everything that came along with her. But then, Rio would think about how alive she’d felt in the last weeks. How much she had learned about herself and the world around her, and the regret vanished into thin air.
No matter how much she had hurt, and still did, how hard it had been, and still was, Rio wouldn’t change anything if she had the chance.
Because no matter how bad it got, it was still good.
Maybe not good good, but good enough to keep her going.
To keep Rio hoping.
And maybe, just maybe, her and Agatha being friends would be the first step of them becoming more.
It was ridiculous how fast Rio had come to terms with what had happened on Saturday evening.
She blamed her foolish, optimistic heart for it all.
At first, she’d been devastated, a crumpled mess of skin and bones, laying on her bed buried underneath a heap of blankets.
But then she’d realized what being friends with Agatha actually meant. Even if it was just for Nicky, they would still see each other a lot. They would still hang out and spend time together.
Rio could still get to know her.
And perhaps, she could, after some time, even convince Agatha to change her mind.
Show her what she was missing out on.
The soft thump of something falling onto the table next to her startled Rio out of her thoughts, and she jumped slightly in her chair as she turned toward the noise.
Her eyes inspected the object, traveling over it and taking it in with interest. It was a medium sized rectangle neatly wrapped in colorful wrapping paper.
Since Rio didn’t know what to make of it, she let her eyes trail higher until they locked onto the person who had dropped the small package.
Agatha.
Of course.
Dressed in her dark purple slacks and white blouse, her professor looked as immaculate as ever. But the mischievous glint in her blue eyes had Rio narrowing her eyes.
What was this woman up to?
“Happy belated birthday,” Agatha grinned playfully.
Rio sputtered.
How did she know?
“What– how–“, Rio stuttered, completely taken off guard by the current situation.
Agatha didn’t let her finish though. She just winked cheekily at Rio before she spun around and walked out of the classroom followed by the echo of her heels clicking on the floor.
Staring after the older woman, her eyes flicking between the door she’d just disappeared through and the present she’d left on the table, Rio still struggled to make sense of what the hell just happened.
--
When Rio got home later that day, she was still reeling from what Agatha had done. She hadn’t even unwrapped the present yet.
After finally putting herself back together enough to leave the classroom, Rio had just grabbed it and stuffed it into her bag on her way out.
Now, as Rio was sitting on her couch, a cold beer in her hand and the television broadcasting some nature documentary quietly in the background, it was taunting her from the small wooden coffee table in front of her.
How had Agatha even known it’d been her birthday yesterday?
Rio had never told her.
Truthfully, she rarely told people about her birthday. She didn’t like all the fuss they always made. Her birthday was just a day like any other for Rio.
Of course, she appreciated the congratulations from her family and Alice, but in the grand scheme of things Rio could also do without them. She had always struggled to understand why turning one year older was so special. Why being born mattered so much.
In the end they would all die anyway.
That was just the way of life.
It came hand in hand with death.
Maybe it was morbid to think this way, but to Rio it was just the way things were.
The truth.
Nevertheless, ever since Alice had found out her birthday during the second year they’d known each other, she always insisted to spend most of the day with Rio.
It had kind of become their thing to just hang out, watch a plethora of stupid movies and order way too much take out on Rio’s birthdays. They’d been doing it for years, and this year hadn’t been any different.
After Nicky’s birthday party and everything that had come along with it, it had been exactly what Rio had needed.
Spending the afternoon and evening with her best friend had been the perfect distraction, giving Rio the time and space she’d needed to screw her head back on straight.
Not literally, but still.
But then today, Agatha had come along and ripped her head right off her neck again with her antics.
No longer able to keep her curiosity at bay, Rio leaned forward at put her beer down on the small table before she reached for the present and took it with her as she leaned back into the couch cushions.
Rio eyed the neatly wrapped rectangle up and tested its weight in her hands. It wasn’t very heavy, but it also wasn’t light. Rio suspected it might be a book as she turned the small package around in her hands. The shape and weight would certainly fit.
Without further ado, Rio finally began to unwrap Agatha’s present. Excitement started to flood the pit of her stomach the more of the paper she peeled back.
What would it be?
When the wrapping paper fell from her hands onto her lap, Rio was left staring at the now unwrapped present between her fingers.
She’d been right. It was a book.
But it wasn’t just any book.
Rio’s eyes slowly trailed over the cover, taking in its aesthetic, the title and the author.
The picture on the front was simple, understated.
It showed a mysterious forest at night, the branches of the trees crowding in from the sides, reaching, like shadowy fingers, for the silhouettes of the people walking on the little path between the trees.
The Witches Road, it said on the top in a loopy, intricate fond.
And lower, near the bottom, written by A. Harkness.
Rio huffed out a quiet laugh.
Of course.
Leave it to Agatha to gift Rio one of her own books as a birthday present.
This woman.
Rio shook her head fondly at the book, a small smile still lingering on her face.
She had no idea why Agatha had given this to her, but she appreciated it, nonetheless.
Although Rio wasn’t a big fan of fiction this book intrigued her. It probably had a lot to do with who had written it, but still.
The story was promising, containing many twists and turns, as far as Rio could tell while reading over the synopsis on the book’s back.
A group of women brought together by mysterious forces of fate, all of them witches, all of them with their own agenda. Yet to survive they had to work together and put their differences aside.
With interest burning from her soul to her fingertips Rio opened the book.
What she found on the first page made her breath hitch.
In neat, clear handwriting a dedication had been written there.
Rio –
You must think me incredibly arrogant to gift you my own book, and maybe I am.
But after you shared your writing with me, I thought it only fair I share mine with you.
– Agatha
Reading over the words, Rio’s heart warmed.
Perhaps it was arrogant, but it was also so very considerate. Especially since the older woman knew that Rio hadn’t read her books. The topic had come up on one of her and Nicky’s Sunday coffee shop visits where Rio had bashfully admitted that she’d had no idea who Agatha was until her best friend had filled her in.
Agatha had only laughed in response.
The older woman must have seen how hard it’d been for Rio to share her poems with her, and although Agatha’s book could be bought everywhere, this felt different.
It felt special.
It felt like sharing secrets.
Like gifting little pieces of themselves to each other.
The romance of it all almost made Rio swoon before she caught herself.
Friends.
They’d decided to be friends, and friends could share secrets, too.
Trying to distract herself from the warmth spreading through her chest and the tingling in her stomach, Rio turned to the next page and began to read.
--
“If I run, will you follow
my soul to the edge of the world
and if we fall, will you
explore with me the universe.”
Agatha read the poem out loud. It was Thursday afternoon, and they were currently sitting in the older woman’s office having the first progress meeting of Rio’s project.
Hearing her professor’s raspy voice move around the verses Rio had penned did something to her, and she had to try really hard to keep her breathing under control as she listened.
This is not the time to get turned on, Vidal, Rio reprimanded herself.
Besides, they were friends.
Or becoming friends, and friends didn’t think about friends that way.
When Agatha finished, she looked up at Rio. The expression on her face was unreadable and it almost made Rio huff in annoyance because of course it was. But there was also an intense gleam present in the older woman’s blue eyes that Rio had come to recognize as interest and intrigue.
It made Rio’s own interest spike inside of her, intrigued with what was to come.
Thankfully, she didn’t have to wait long.
“Do you know why I took this job?” Agatha asked, casually leaning back in her chair.
Rio pretended to think about the answer for a second, before she slightly tilted her head, “Because you like to tell people what to do?”
Ever since the decision to be friends had been made, Rio didn’t care to hold back anymore.
They were friends, right?
And they both knew they could never be more.
So, what was the harm with a little bit of flirting?
Agatha imperceptibly rolled her eyes at her words, yet the gleam in her eyes intensified and Rio grinned inwardly.
“Cheeky,” Agatha stated nonplussed. “But no, I didn’t take this job because I like to tell people what to do.”
She paused, the silence between them stretched and created a tension that had Rio move to the edge of her seat in anticipation.
“I took this job”, her professor continued, drawing the words out, “because of people like you.”
Whatever Rio had Agatha expected to say, it sure as hell hadn’t been that.
People like her?
What did that even mean?
“I’m not sure I understand,” Rio responded hesitantly, still taken aback by the intensity in Agatha’s gaze as it stayed looked with hers.
“You’re talented,” Agatha began to explain as she leaned forward and placed her forearms on the desk between them, folding her long, slender fingers together in front of her. “Not many people can do what you do with words. It’s special. You are special.”
Agatha’s eyes were boring into hers with such intensity now it nailed Rio to the spot, and she was unable to tear her gaze away even if she wanted to.
She didn’t though.
The electricity sparking between her and Agatha felt just too good.
Agatha had just said that Rio was special, and it had ignited Rio’s whole being.
Sure, it’d been in the context of her writing, but the subtext was definitely there.
You didn’t just say what Agatha had just said in the tone of voice Agatha had just used when you didn’t intend for it to mean more.
The only issue now was that Rio had no idea what to say in response.
Was she supposed to say thank you?
Or make a sarcastic remark?
Or just pretend it didn’t happen and ignore it?
Rio had no clue.
“Does that help you to understand?” Agatha asked, a slight playfulness to her tone and a barely-there smirk tucked away in the corners of her mouth.
It did, yes.
At least a little bit.
“Yeah,” Rio breathed, then cleared her throat, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment at how breathless she sounded. “Thanks for the clarification.”
“You’re welcome.”
The smirk now fully enveloped Agatha’s expression. Rio watched as the older woman leaned back in her chair again and crossed her arms loosely in front of her chest. “So, what else have you come up with?”
The next hour they spent going over the other two poems Rio had written since their last meeting.
With one of them she was really happy with how it’d turned out and Agatha agreed that she could leave it just like it was.
The other one was trickier. Rio had struggled a lot in her composition of it, and she still was far from happy with how it had turned out in the end.
The older woman gave her some great pointers though when Rio explained what bothered her so much and together, they came up with a few changes that made the poem finally click for her.
It was truly amazing to work with Agatha like this. To see her mind work and to learn how she approached things.
It made Rio feel taken seriously.
It made her feel seen.
Crush or no crush, Agatha was brilliant.
Passion just oozed out of her as she sat in front of Rio in her dark blue button down and messy bun, gesticulating animatedly as she helped Rio with her writing.
Rio soaked up every single second of it. There was so much she could learn from Agatha when it came to the way words worked.
Sure, she might be talented, and she might be special, but Rio had only ever written for herself, so there were a few things she was lacking.
And Rio was fine with that.
Nobody was perfect.
Her least of all.
And if it meant she could learn from the Agatha Harkness? All the better.
After Agatha had given her one of her books for her birthday, it had taken Rio only two nights to finish it.
She just hadn’t been able to put it down.
The only time she stopped burying herself in those alluring pages was when she was in class. But even that had been a struggle since her mind had been constantly stuck on what would happen next.
The storytelling and everything that had come with it, had, hands down, been one of the best things Rio had ever read.
And she wasn’t even a fan of fiction.
Yet, somehow, Agatha had managed to capture her attention with her way of weaving the plot.
A coven of coven-less witches, thrown together out of need, yet becoming a family by the end, had had Rio tearing up at the found family of it all.
It wasn’t a new idea but the way Agatha had written it, it might as well have been.
What had impressed Rio the most though had been the diversity of the characters. Although they were all female the variety the women depicted was astonishing.
Especially the main relationship had left Rio speechless.
Death and the most famous (evil) witch of the world being ex-lovers?
Brilliant.
Having them grow closer throughout the story just to tear them apart by the end?
Heartbreaking.
Putting a twist on the whole thing and reuniting them again in the epilogue?
Chef’s kiss.
Rio honestly couldn’t wait to read the second book of the series. She was hooked.
She’d ordered it as soon as she’d finished the first one, and if she was lucky the package would already be waiting by her door when she got home.
Slowly, their conversation about Rio’s poems came to an end, and a comfortable silence began to envelop them.
Rio was still taking notes on everything Agatha had said, scribbling rapidly in her little notebook, and apparently the older woman was happy just watching her.
In her peripheral vision Rio could see Agatha staring at her. Although there was a small smile on her face, she looked kind of sad.
A melancholy had taken over her eyes that made Rio furrow her brow and look up.
“Are you okay?” she asked tentatively, not wanting to scare the woman in front of her.
Agatha chuckled at her question. “Can’t get anything passed you, can I?”
The yearning in her professor’s eyes was replaced with a playful gleam.
“Nope,” Rio grinned, popping the p with her lips.
A sudden laugh burst out of Agatha at her antics and Rio’s grin widened.
Gods, this woman was so beautiful when she laughed.
“I’m okay,” Agatha smiled once her laughter had calmed down.
Rio knew she wasn’t. But she didn’t press any further and just nodded. It was time for her to leave anyway. Their meeting had already gone on much longer than they’d planned, and Alice would not be happy if Rio was late for their dinner date.
“I have to go, but thanks for everything. It really helped a lot,” Rio smiled at Agatha as she grabbed her messenger bag from next to her chair and began to put her things inside.
While she was at it, Rio surreptitiously pulled out a folded piece of paper. She kept it hidden in her hand as she stood up and put on her black leather jacket, slinging the strap of her bag over one shoulder.
“I’ve read your book by the way,” Rio said quietly as she stepped closer to the desk.
Agatha’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. “You have?”
Nodding Rio unfurled her fist and placed the folded piece of paper in front of Agatha on the desk. Carefully, she put her pointer finger onto it and slid it closer to the older woman.
“It was inspiring. Especially the relationship between Death and Agnes,” Rio drawled, her finger and the piece of paper coming to a stop just a breath away from Agatha’s hands. “For you.”
Rio tapped the paper once, then she winked at the astonished woman in front of her before she turned around and left the office, throwing a casual te veo over her shoulder as she went.
Strolling down the hallway, Rio grinned, quietly whispering the words on the paper to herself and wondering what Agatha would think of them.
Take my hand and dance –
with me – in the shadow of Death.
I promise to be careful
and only twirl you slowly.
Please, don’t be scared, love.
Death is just another word
for eternity.
Chapter 6: In the Shadow of Death
Summary:
Rio and Agatha quality time, and Rio and Nicky quality time.
Notes:
OVER 500 KUDOS??? You people are crazy (in the best way, of course)!!!
Also, thank you for all the lovely comments on the last chapter. They made me feel all warm and fuzzy. :)
Sadly, there's no poetry in this chapter but I hope you enjoy it nevertheless!
Chapter Text
“I read your poem.”
Rio whirled around, startled by the sudden appearance of the familiar voice. Opposite her, in front of the high bar top where the customers picked up their drinks, stood no other than her professor, smirking at the look of surprise on Rio’s face.
“Agatha.”
As Rio took in the older woman, she realized that she was alone. Trailing her eyes through the little coffee shop, searching for the small boy who usually came in with Agatha every Sunday afternoon, Rio came to the same conclusion.
Her brow furrowed slightly in confusion. It was bizarre that Agatha would come without Nicky. They’d always come together. Not once, since the first time they had visited the café, had Agatha shown up on her own.
“No Nicky today?” Rio asked casually, trying not to let the worry she felt at the absence of the little boy seep into her voice.
“No,” Agatha’s smirk softened into a small smile, “He’s on a play date with Billy and Tommy at Wanda’s house.”
Upon hearing the older woman’s words, Rio’s concern immediately eased, glad that Nicky was alright and just hanging out with his friends today.
At the same time, she felt a small pang of sadness in her heart. She didn’t get so see Nicky often, usually only during her Sunday afternoon shifts at the Den, and Rio had been looking forward to spending some time with him today.
She missed him.
And to go a whole other week without getting to see him felt like an eternity.
Pushing the thoughts away since there wasn’t anything she could do about it anyway, Rio focused on the woman in front of her again.
Agatha had kept her hair open today, her long locks trailing almost to the bottom of her back and framing her face beautifully. She still had her black wool coat on, and a dark purple scarf wrapped around her neck. Her make up was very toned down, just a little eyeliner and mascara.
She looked so cozy and so utterly stunning as she stood opposite her, Rio couldn’t help but let a loving smile grace her face.
But then after a few seconds she quickly shook it off again.
Friends.
“So, what can I get you?” Rio addressed Agatha in an effort to distract herself from her thoughts.
The older woman only raised an eyebrow in response, smirk once more firmly in place.
“Shouldn’t you know my order by now?” Agatha shot back, a playful gleam in her bright blue eyes.
“Just making sure you haven’t changed your mind,” Rio shrugged more confidently than she felt, taken aback by the forwardness of her professor.
Was she flirting with Rio?
“Believe me, you’ll be the first to know if I do,” Agatha winked.
Yep, definitely flirting.
Rio slightly tilted her head and smirked, “Good to know.”
Then she turned around, heart pounding in her chest, and began to prepare Agatha’s small Americano.
Her mind was racing with questions, trying to make sense of her professor’s behavior. Agatha had never been like this.
Was it because Nicky wasn’t here?
Was it because they weren’t in a classroom or in her office?
Was it because now that they were friends it was okay to flirt because they both knew nothing would come out of it anyway?
Should Rio just go with it?
Should she put a stop to it?
No matter how hard Rio tried to reason with herself, she couldn’t deny that she liked it.
Even if they’d only been doing it for a minute or two, it’d been exhilarating to interact with Agatha in this way.
But it was also really really dangerous. There was no going to tell what would happen if they went down this road. They could lose everything. The tentative friendship that had begun to develop between them doomed from the start.
And yet.
Hadn’t it been Rio’s plan anyway to flirt with Agatha? To show the older woman what she was missing out on by just being friends?
Why should her plan change now that Agatha seemed to play exactly into it?
Because you’re already in over your head, a voice inside her head cautioned and Rio had to agree that yeah, she probably was.
It didn’t stop Rio from hardening her resolve though. She was going to stick to her plan. She was going to give as good as she got, and she was going to make sure that Agatha would learn exactly what Rio had to offer.
“You want it to go or to drink here?” Rio threw over her shoulder at Agatha.
“To go.”
Nodding to herself, Rio poured the steaming hot Americano into a small to go cup, grabbed one of the lids and then placed both down on the counter in front of Agatha.
To say she wasn’t disappointed that the older woman wouldn’t stay longer would be a lie. But Rio also understood that without Nicky there was no puffer between them, and his absence could perhaps lead to something happening between them neither of them were ready for.
Nevertheless, Agatha seemed hesitant as she put the lid on the cup, her movements slow and measured.
When she looked back up, her eyes pierced Rio’s, intense and burning.
“How much do I owe you?”
Rio waved the older woman off. “Don’t worry about it. It’s on the house.”
After scrutinizing her for a few moments Agatha imperceptibly nodded, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Rio smiled back.
Her professor still made no move to leave. Instead, she just kept standing in front of the high bar top, eyes downcast once more, fiddling with the lid of her to go cup in a way that almost seemed like she was nervous.
Rio stayed quiet and just eyed Agatha up, trying to figure out what she could possibly be nervous about.
But then Agatha quietly cleared her throat and met Rio’s eyes again.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” the older woman asked, and Rio stopped breathing for a second.
There was a shakiness to Agatha’s voice that clearly betrayed her nerves, and Rio’s heart squeezed inside her chest at the absolute adorableness of seeing Agatha Harkness so flustered.
“Sure,” Rio grinned, “Just give me a minute to grab my jacket and to let Stella know that I’m taking my break.”
The smile that broke out on the face of the woman in front of her was so bright it almost blinded Rio.
“Okay, I’ll just wait for you outside,” Agatha spoke softly, pointing with a thumb over her shoulder towards the door, before she turned around and walked away, to go cup in hand.
Rio shook her head, chuckling silently to herself.
Agatha had just asked her to go on a walk with her, and it had felt a lot like the older woman had just asked her on a date.
Rushing over to Stella and then grabbing her jacket from the back room, Rio quickly made her way through the coffee shop once she’d taken care of everything.
She couldn’t wait to get back to Agatha.
To see how this walk would turn out.
She might be partly dying inside from nervousness, but Rio’s excitement was too high to take much notice of it.
Bursting through the door, the cold November air hit Rio like a slap to the face. Besides the cold it was beautiful outside though. The sky was blue, and the sun was shining brightly.
Tilting her face up, Rio closed her eyes as she let the sun warm her face and took a deep breath. The crisp air filled her lungs and refreshed her senses after being stuck in the small café for the last couple of hours.
“Shall we?”
Agatha’s voice broke through to her, and Rio tilted her head back down to look at her.
Her professor was standing only a couple feet in front of her, much closer than Rio had expected her to be, and Rio felt her heart skip a beat at their proximity.
Burying her hands in the pockets of her jacket, Rio nodded once, “Lead the way.”
Agatha led them down a small path next to the Den into the park the little coffee shop was situated in front of.
Silence stretched between them, and although it wasn’t completely comfortable, it wasn’t uncomfortable either. The older woman kept her head pointed forwards which allowed Rio to unabashedly stare at her.
In one hand Agatha held her coffee close to her body, the other hung loosely at her side next to Rio. Watching it swing back and forth, Rio wanted to do nothing more than to reach out and take it into her, interlocking her fingers with Agatha’s.
She didn’t though. Instead, Rio balled her hands into tight fists inside the pockets of her jacket to make sure they would stay there.
When Agatha brought the to go cup to her mouth, she observed how the older woman took a sip, her full lips carefully caressing the small opening in the lid.
Rio wondered what those lips would feel like pressed against her own. Then she abruptly snapped her head forward, scolding her wandering mind.
Not the time.
“How long do you have?” Agatha’s voice broke through the silence.
Looking back at the older woman, Rio saw that she still wasn’t looking at her. Her professor’s gaze was firmly focused on the path in front of them.
Rio turned her head forwards once more, looking at the bare trees around them. The sun moved through the branches in a way that made the shadows seem like they were dancing across the ground.
“I have to be back in thirty minutes,” she sighed.
Apart from their voices it was quiet around them. There was no wind rustling through the leaves, no birds chirping merrily away nearby. The only sound surrounding them was the slight crunch of their shoes on the gravel of the path as they strolled along.
“Not long then,” Agatha stated.
“No,” Rio confirmed, then she began to smirk at the ground in front of her. “Best make the most of it.”
The laugh which burst out of Agatha at her words had Rio chuckling along with her, and when she looked up, she found the older woman already looking back at her, a wide smile on her face.
“Best,” her professor winked.
This time, Rio was the one who burst out laughing and Agatha was the one who chuckled along with her.
--
When Rio went to bed around midnight later that day, she was still high on adrenaline from everything that had happened with Agatha earlier.
Although they’d just spent Rio’s thirty-minute break talking and strolling around the deserted park, it’d been one of the best times Rio had had lately.
After meeting Agatha, and then coming to terms with having a crush on her, just to decide to be friends was all they could ever be, plus all the stuff she had to do for her classes in between, it had been the calmest Rio had felt in a while.
They’d spoken about the poem Rio had written inspired by her professor’s book, and Rio had even admitted that she was already halfway through the second book of the series. Agatha had only laughed at her in response, saying that she hoped Rio would enjoy it just as much as the first one.
They’d also talked about Nicky and what he had been up to since Rio had last seen him. Apparently, the little boy was thriving in school and always wanted to learn more and more and more.
A sense of pride had enveloped Rio when Agatha had gushed about his good grades and achievements. She knew that Nicky wasn’t hers and would never be, but sometimes Rio couldn’t help feeling like he was.
The little boy had just managed to capture her heart so so much.
Rio rolled onto her side and buried her face in her pillow. She had no idea how she was supposed to sleep with her whole being still buzzing.
Involuntarily a small squeak broke from Rio’s throat, but it was quickly muffled by the pillow.
This was all still so new to her.
To spend time in the presence of someone who untethered her as much as Agatha did was still something Rio was getting used to.
And as much as her heart enjoyed the new feelings that came along with it all, her head still struggled to make sense of it.
No matter how exciting the nerves and the anxiousness, the euphoria and the joy, the butterflies and the bumblebees were for her heart, her head needed more time to come to terms with them.
It’d always been that way for Rio. Ever since she was little, she struggled with overthinking, with being unable to just turn her brain off and stop it from throwing new thoughts at her every second.
Although it was way better today than when she was a child and teenager, it was something Rio would always have difficulties dealing with.
It just came with the territory of the whole ADHD thing.
Rio had been diagnosed in her late teens when she hadn’t been able to cope anymore and had gone to her parents for help. They’d been incredibly understanding and had been there, right by her side, for every psych appointment.
Once she’d gotten the diagnosis a lot of things had clicked for Rio, and she’d finally begun to understand herself better.
Now, after years of therapy, she was in a good place. She knew how to handle herself and how to deal with everything that she was.
The only thing she still struggled with was how to make sense of the world. The question of why everything was the way it was followed Rio everywhere.
It was how Rio’s hyperactivity expressed itself. In the restlessness of her mind.
A common misconception about ADHD was that hyperactivity always had to be a physical thing, like not being able to sit still or always bouncing your leg. But the hyperactivity of ADHD didn’t necessarily have to be physical.
Hyperactivity could also happen mentally.
It might be less common and harder to recognize, but it was just as real and just as valid.
That was why Rio liked spending time with Agatha so much, and with Nicky for that reason.
When she was with them, her head was quiet.
She didn’t have to question everything around her because with Agatha and Nicky by her side it already made sense.
Turning onto her back, Rio stared up at the ceiling in the darkness, a small smile on her face.
She really couldn’t wait to see them again.
--
A week later during her Sunday afternoon shift, Rio looked up from behind the counter when the little bell above the door chimed, signaling someone entering the café.
It was just about the time Agatha and Nicky usually came in and Rio had been buzzing with excitement the whole day to see Nicky again since he hadn’t been with Agatha last week.
A smile began to stretch over Rio’s face as she saw them both walk into the coffee shop, but as she took Agatha in, her smile quickly turned into a frown.
The older woman looked unusually disheveled. Her black wool coat hung unbuttoned on her shoulders, her ponytail was a mess with stray hairs flying everywhere and her purple scarf was suspiciously absent although it was colder outside today than it had been last week.
Agatha held Nicky’s hand in hers, clutching it in such a vice-like grip that her knuckles appeared white.
Feeling like something was very wrong, Rio’s from deepened with worry.
As she stepped out from behind the counter to find out what was going on, Nicky ripped himself free from his mother’s hold and ran towards her.
“Rio!”
Rio managed to lower herself just in time for the little boy to throw his arms around her neck and bury himself into her in a tight embrace.
Hugging him back just as tightly, Rio spoke quietly into his hair, “Hey, buddy.”
When Agatha came to a stop a couple of feet away from them, Rio reluctantly let go of the little boy in her arms.
“Hey Nicky,” the older woman addressed her son, “Can you go sit down at our table? I need to talk to Rio.”
At Agatha’s words Rio’s concern only deepened.
What was going on?
Standing back up, she watched as Nicky nodded and then bounced over to the table near the window where they always sat at.
Up close, Agatha looked even more distraught. Her eyes were unfocused and wild, never staying in one place for long, and she was anxiously twisting her fingers in front of her.
“Are you okay?” Rio asked tentatively when her professor didn’t say anything, and she couldn’t take the silence any longer.
“I–,” Agatha huffed out a breath and forced a laugh that didn’t reach her eyes. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
Finally, she looked at Rio.
Rio’s heart ached when she saw the unshed tears brimming in the older woman’s eyes. She wanted to reach out, take Agatha into her arms and tell her that whatever was going on it would turn out to be okay.
But she couldn’t. Not here where everyone could see them.
“I need you to do me a favor,” Agatha continued, then she inhaled sharply through her nose. “Lilia was rushed to the hospital and Wanda and the boys are out of town and I don’t want to drag Nicky along because I don’t know what is actually wrong but I also don’t have anyone to look after him –“
Rio didn’t even let Agatha finish before she interrupted her, “I’ll do it.”
Agatha’s eyes began to fill with a hopeful gleam at her words.
“Are you sure? I mean, it’s a lot to just throw at you but I also don’t have anyone else to ask –“
“I’m sure,” Rio interrupted again, her voice soft but resolute, leaving no room for further questions. “I’ll get Stella to finish the rest of the shift alone, there isn’t much to do today anyways, and this is more important.”
Agatha’s whole expression softened at Rio’s resolve, “Thank you.”
Nodding once Rio reached into her back pocket and pulled out her phone, handing it to the older woman.
“Put your number in there and then call your phone, so you have my number, too. I’m going to take Nicky to my apartment to watch movies and order pizza, and whenever you’re ready to pick him up just text or call.”
“Okay, yeah, that sounds good,” Agatha nodded, then she huffed a laugh, snorting slightly. “Nicky is going to love you even more for feeding him pizza.”
Rio grinned and put her phone back into her back pocket when Agatha handed it over.
“Go,” she urged the woman in front of her softly with a small smile. “I’ll take good care of him. I promise.”
Agatha smiled softly back. “I know.”
Then she turned around and walked over to Nicky, letting him know what the plan for the rest of the day was going to be.
--
“Woah!”
“Pretty awesome, right?” Rio grinned at the reaction of Nicky seeing her apartment for the first time.
When Nicky only nodded, his eyes wide as he took in the scene in front of him, Rio laughed softly as she let her eyes follow the little boy’s.
Her apartment wasn’t anything special. A simple one-bedroom, with a cozy living room, a small kitchen and an even smaller bathroom. But throughout the last few months Rio had made it her own.
Plants, big and small, littered every available surface. Next to one of the floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room she’d placed all her biggest plants, so they would get enough light, unintentionally creating a small jungle.
Rio loved being surrounded by so much greenery. She was especially proud of the wandering Jew that wrapped around the window frame. It was her baby and they’d been through a lot together.
When Nicky finally found a way out of his stupor they stepped fully inside, and Rio closed the door behind them. The apartment didn’t have an entryway, so they were already standing in her living room as they took off their jackets and shoes and placed them on the small coat rack next to the front door.
“So, which movie do you want to watch?” Rio asked, making her way over to the large L-shaped couch in the middle of the room.
Nicky trailed after her with a thoughtful expression on his face.
“Can we watch the ‘How to train your Dragon’ movies?” he inquired as he sat down next to Rio.
“Sure,” she smiled at him, delighted at the movie choice since they were some of her favorites, too. “How about we watch the first one now, then order some pizza and watch the second one while we eat?”
“Yes!” Nicky exclaimed enthusiastically, fully on board with the plan.
Chuckling at his excitement, Rio reached for the remote and brought up the movie.
They watched the movie mostly in silence, only occasionally cooing over how cute Toothless was and how badly they wished to have their own dragons.
At some point Nicky had moved closer to her and began to lean into her side. Rio had just wrapped her arm around him and had pulled him even closer, making the little boy giggle joyfully.
When the movie was over Rio entangled herself from Nicky and reached for her phone which she’d placed onto the small coffee table in front of the couch earlier to not miss Agatha calling or texting her. She picked it up and quickly placed the pizza order her and Nicky had agreed on on their way over to Rio’s apartment.
One large margarita with extra cheese.
While Rio was on her phone, she couldn’t keep her curiosity about which name Agatha had used to save her contact info into her phone in check any longer.
Scrolling through her contacts, Rio looked for anything that might seem suspicious.
She didn’t have to look long, and a quiet snort left her when her eyes fell onto the name that hadn’t been there before.
Agatha had simply saved her number under AH.
Not very subtle, but Rio guessed it did its job of not being obvious right away as to who the number belonged to.
Thirty minutes later Nicky and her were happily munching on their pizza while the second ‘How to train your dragon’-movie played softly in the background.
“Rio?” Nicky said her name between bites, sitting cross-legged on the couch next to her.
Turning sideways, Rio looked at him, still chewing and only humming in response to indicate that she’d heard him.
“What does ‘te veo’ mean?” he asked, tilting his head curiously at her.
It made Rio chuckle. There really wasn’t anything you could get past this boy.
“You caught that, didn’t you?” she grinned at him, taking another comically large bite which made Nicky giggle.
“You always say it to Mama when we leave and say goodbye.”
“Mhmm,” Rio hummed around the food in her mouth once more before she swallowed her bite and began to speak.
“I do,” she said sincerely. “It means something like ‘See you later’, you know?”
Rio paused her explanation to make sure Nicky was following along. When he nodded in understanding she smiled at him and continued, “But it also means ‘I see you’. Like, I see who you are. Like, I can see deep into your soul to the core of what makes you you.”
“Oh.”
“Does that make sense to you?” Rio inquired when Nicky didn’t say anything else.
“Yeah,” she spoke softly, a thoughtful expression on his face.
Rio’s felt her smile widen at how cute he looked with his slightly furrowed little brows, a small crease appearing in the same place on his forehead as it did on his mother’s when she frowned.
“I like it,” he nodded after a minute. “Can I use it, too?”
Taken aback by the question, Rio was rendered speechless for a moment. Warmth spread through her at Nicky’s thoughtfulness to ask and at the fact that he wanted to use her words for himself.
She was incredibly touched and had to swallow hard to keep her emotions in check.
“Sure,” Rio smiled softly at him, and then began to laugh when Nicky cheered loudly and threw himself into her arms.
She barely managed to move the hand holding her piece of pizza out of the way in time.
--
It was just past 11:30pm when Rio’s phone chimed with a message from Agatha, telling her that the older woman had just left the hospital and that she was on her way to Rio’s apartment.
Rio had put Nicky to bed just half an hour ago. It had taken her quite some time to convince him to go to sleep with how hard-headed he was in his resolution to stay up until his Mama came over so he could make sure she was okay.
But then he had begun to drift off repeatedly and once he’d fallen fully asleep, his little body too exhausted from the excitement of the day, Rio had picked him up and carried him into her bedroom.
She had tucked him carefully beneath the sheets, had kissed his forehead and had whispered a quiet goodnight, buddy before she had left, closing the door softly on her way out.
Ever since then she’d just been sitting on her couch, mindlessly watching some documentary about oceanic lifeforms, waiting for Agatha to contact her.
And now, the older woman would be here in less than twenty minutes.
Rio’s heart began to pound furiously just thinking about it.
Agatha Harkness would be in her apartment.
The thought was as terrifying as it was exhilarating.
Thankfully, she’d just cleaned everything yesterday, and even the pizza carton with their leftovers had already been put in the fridge and the plates had been cleaned.
When a soft knock sounded on her door, Rio jumped, startled out of wherever her mind had just gone. She’d probably just zoned out, Rio mused, as she got up and made her way over to the front door.
With every step her nerves heightened and the worry she’d managed to keep in check for Nicky’s sake throughout the last few hours came rushing back, crashing over her like a tsunami.
Suddenly Rio could get to the door fast enough.
Couldn’t get to Agatha fast enough to make sure she was okay.
Sprinting the last few steps, Rio almost ripped the door off its hinges with the force she used to open it.
There, right in front of her, stood Agatha.
The older woman had a slight smile on her face as if she was amused by Rio’s antics. But Rio didn’t care what she looked like or how her behavior appeared to the older woman.
All she wanted was to make sure that Agatha was okay.
She looked okay, as far as Rio could tell, when she eyes her up.
She definitely looked lighter.
The death grip Rio’s concern had had on her heart slowly loosened and she breathed a quiet sigh on relief.
“You’re going to let me in?” Agatha asked, still smiling, still amused.
Only now realizing that they were still standing mostly in the hallway, Rio abruptly let go of the doorknob and gestured for Agath to come in, embarrassment making her cheeks flush.
Agatha only nodded in thanks and grinned as she stepped past her into the apartment.
After the older woman had taken off her coat and shoes and they’d both sat down on the couch, each with a cold beer in hand that Rio had grabbed from her fridge, Agatha let out a long sigh and dropped her head back onto the couch cushions.
“Is Nicky asleep?” she asked, closing her eyes.
Rio’s eyes moved over Agatha’s face, her body, her everything. She looked so small just sitting next to Rio in her oversized burgundy Westview College hoddie and skinny jeans, exhaustion etched into every line and movement.
“Yeah, I tucked him into my bed a little while ago. He wanted to stay up and wait for you, but he kept nodding off, so I waited until he was fully asleep and then carried him there.”
“Good,” Agatha sighed again, her eyes still closed. “He needs to sleep, or he’ll be cranky all day tomorrow.”
Rio huffed at laugh at Agatha’s words, then she turned serious again.
“How’s Lilia?”
At her question Agatha lifted her head from the back of the couch, and sat up straighter, opening her eyes and facing Rio.
Although the older woman still looked troubled, there was a small smile shining from her eyes. It eased Rio’s worry considerably.
“She’s okay,” Agatha said softly, exhaling a rush of air, before she ran a hand through her long dark hair that was no longer confined to the ponytail she’d worn when Rio had seen her earlier. “It was just a dizzy spell because she forgot to take her blood pressure meds, but they wanted to do a bunch of tests to make sure it wasn’t anything else and they took forever. She has to stay the night at the hospital, but she can go home again tomorrow.”
Rio breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad she’s okay.”
“Me, too,” Agatha whispered, then cleared her throat. “I’m sorry I got here so late.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Rio waved her off, smiling. “Nicky and I had a great time.”
Agatha huffed a laugh at her response and Rio’s smile widened.
Making Agatha Harkness laugh was truly one of the best things in the world.
“What did you tell him about why he had to stay with me anyway?”
“The truth,” Agatha shrugged before a slight trace of concern began to etch itself into her features. “Did he say anything?”
“No,” Rio quickly reassured the older woman. “I was just wondering.”
Agatha only hummed in response before she let her head fall back onto the couch cushions as she took a long swing of her beer. “What are you watching?”
Confused by the question Rio followed the older woman’s gaze toward her TV.
Oh.
Somehow, she had completely forgotten that it was still on.
“A documentary about whales, I think?” Rio stated, not entirely sure that was the truth as she hadn’t been really paying attention to it.
Her professor rolled her head towards Rio and smirked cheekily at her.
“So, you’re a nerd,” she teased.
Rio snorted a laugh before she turned and faced the woman next to her. Agatha was only sitting a few inches away, far enough for them not to be touching, yet close enough for Rio to feel the heat emanating from her body.
It was driving Rio crazy to have the older woman so close to her. To be caught in her orbit like this. Enveloped by lavender and sandalwood and something just intrinsically Agatha.
“I though you knew this about me by now, Agatha,” Rio tutted teasingly.
Agatha laughed into her beer bottle, taking a small sip. “Sure do.”
Their conversation faded after that, and a comfortable silence began to encompass them. It was so easy to just be with Agatha like this.
Just sitting next to her, watching a whale documentary on TV.
Rio had no idea how long they just sat there, side by side, slowly sipping their beers, each caught in their own thoughts or the pictures on the television.
“I should probably go and wake Nicky up, so we can get going,” Agatha sighed into the quiet after a while.
Rio wanted to ask her to stay. To spend the night at her place. To let Nicky sleep.
The couch was big enough for both of them.
Or Agatha could join Nicky in her bed and Rio would take the couch.
But she didn’t.
Instead, she mirrored Agatha’s sigh and ran a hand through her hair, grimacing when her fingers got stuck on some knots.
“Yeah. Do you want me to help you wake him up?”
“That’d be nice,” Agatha stated quietly, gratefully, eyes still fixed on the TV.
“Okay,” Rio nodded, more to herself than to Agatha, elated to be allowed to take care of Nicky together with the older woman.
Yet neither of them made a move to get up.
Chapter 7: Black Coffee Stains
Summary:
Fluff. This is nothing but fluff.
Notes:
Helloooo!
I know it's been a while and I'm sorry it took me so long to update. Life has just been living and the whole AI thing that's been going on in the fandom had me really scared to post any new chapters and it also kind of took my joy of writing away. But I've not been on twitter much lately and life has calmed down a bit for now, so I was finally able to finish this chapter today! Aaaand I just got done editing and although it's 3:30am for me right now I didn't want to wait to post it any longer because you all have already waited long enough.
Again, I'm really sorry for the long break.
I hope you're all doing alright, especially considering what's happening in the world right now. <3
And now, please enjoy chapter 7! :)
Chapter Text
Rio woke up with a heavy weight pressing down on her chest, a crank in her neck and no idea when, where or how she had fallen asleep.
Slowly opening her eyes to figure out what was going on, the first thing that crossed her line of sight was a mess of dark brown hair. Rio’s brow crinkled in confusion until a second later it smoothed out again and shot up toward her hairline as the memories from the previous night suddenly flooded her mind.
Agatha.
There’d been an emergency with Lilia and Agatha had asked Rio to look after Nicky while she had gone to the hospital, and then Nicky had fallen asleep at Rio’s, and she’d tucked him into her own bed so he could get some rest until his mom showed up.
Which Agatha had done shortly after.
As Rio remembered how they had just sat on her couch, Agatha catching her up on the situation with Lilia, she became more and more conscious of her surroundings.
It was still early, judging by the little light in her apartment that bathed everything in a gray-blueish tint. Dawn had probably barely started. It was also incredibly quiet. Her TV had most likely turned itself off after the documentary she hadn’t really paid attention to had ended.
Agatha and she had probably fallen asleep watching it.
The only sounds filling the silent space of her living room were the quiet, deep breaths of the woman laying half on top of her on her couch.
With a slight start Rio realized what exact situation she was currently in.
Holy hell, Agatha was cuddling her.
The older woman was wrapped around Rio’s left side like a koala, her arm slung around Rio’s midsection, her head resting on Rio’s chest, and their legs so tangled up that Rio had no idea where hers ended and Agatha’s began.
Upon this realization Rio’s senses came rushing into her awareness at full force, waking her up completely.
Agatha’s back was pressed against the back of the couch, but the full length of the front of her body was pressed up against Rio.
They were so close.
It made Rio’s whole body tingle. It made her heart beat out of her chest and her breath stutter.
For a moment, she was afraid her pounding heart might wake the still sleeping woman on top of her, so Rio held her breath to discern whether her fear was correct.
No, Agatha was still asleep.
Even if Rio couldn’t hear anything besides the hammering of her own heart, she could feel the deep, sleep-drenched breaths of her professor with the arm she had wrapped around the older woman’s shoulders.
The rhythmic, peaceful up and down of Agatha’s torso managed to calm Rio, and she let out the breath she’d been holding.
This was okay. She was okay. They were okay.
The more her panic subsided, the more Rio became aware of her other feelings.
She was so warm.
With Agatha next to her and the blanket (where had that come from?) covering them both, Rio felt incredibly cozy. And safe.
She felt like she was home.
Which was kind of silly because they were in her apartment, meaning that Rio was already home.
Imperceptibly shaking her head Rio decided not to think about that particular can of worms any longer and to instead just enjoy the moment. It wasn’t every day that you had Agatha Harkness, brilliant author and professor extraordinaire, cuddled up against you.
A small smile began to stretch across Rio’s face at the usually so stoic and closed off woman being this soft when she was asleep.
It was truly adorable.
Subconsciously Rio’s hand began to slowly stroke up and down Agatha’s spine, twirling the tips of her long dark tresses around her fingertips now and again.
Rio couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this peaceful.
Her usually so overactive mind was, for once, completely quiet. There were no thoughts, no worries, no random epiphanies. There was only bliss and peace and warmth.
With a content sigh Rio closed her eyes again and inhaled deeply, flooding her senses with the distinctive scent of Agatha.
Lavender and Sandalwood.
As they laid there on the big comfortable couch in Rio’s apartment, Rio lost every sense of time and space. All that mattered was the here and now. Anything else no longer held any importance.
It was just her and Agatha, entangled so much their heartbeats had synched up, and pressed so close they were breathing as one.
Still absent-mindedly playing with Agatha’s hair, she suddenly felt the older woman’s body tense and stiffen against her, catapulting Rio’s whole being back into full alertness.
Fuck.
Agatha was waking up and Rio had no idea what was going to happen now.
How would Agatha react to waking up on top of her?
Would she just immediately take Nicky and leave?
Would she stay?
Would she say anything?
Or just pretend that nothing had happened?
Before Rio’s mind could fully get stuck in overdrive though, Agatha began to relax against her again, effectively cutting off Rio’s tsunami of thoughts.
She felt how Agatha buried her head even deeper into her chest, letting out a quiet sigh as she did so.
“Good morning,” Agatha mumbled softly into the silence of the living room around them. Her voice was still full of sleep and sounded raspier than usual.
Rio’s breath hitched in response and her arm involuntarily tightened around Agatha’s shoulders.
When had her body become so tense?
Exhaling quietly, Rio tried to relax. It probably wasn’t very comfortable for Agatha to be laying on top of her when she was stiff as a board.
“Moring,” Rio whispered, finally getting her body to loosen up.
Agatha let out a huff that might as well have been a laugh, it was hard to tell when Rio couldn’t see her face.
“Don’t make it weird.”
An unbidden laugh bubbled out of Rio at Agatha’s words, lightly jostling the older woman’s head on her chest in the process.
Indignantly Agatha raised her head from her chest. But the glare she tried to shoot Rio’s way was rendered completely ineffective by her still very mussed up from sleep features.
Adorable.
“I wasn’t going to,” Rio smiled so big at the woman in front of her it made her cheeks hurt.
With another quiet huff and a slight roll of her eyes Agatha readjusted herself and gently put her head to rest on Rio’s chest once more.
When Agatha’s arm tightened around her hip and pulled Rio even closer into her, Rio just managed to suppress the shiver running through her at the action.
Against the goosebumps erupting all over her skin she was utterly powerless though.
The silence had barely settled around them when it was disturbed by a noise coming from Rio’s bedroom.
Nicky.
Somehow Rio had completely forgotten about the little boy sleeping in her bed.
She blamed Agatha’s cuddly grumpy morning persona for it.
At the sound of the bedroom door opening quietly, Agatha reluctantly pushed herself up and off Rio. Her sudden absence left Rio shivering in the cold that replaced Agatha’s warm body.
Running a hand through her tangled-up hair, Agatha fully sat up, silently muttering to herself, “This was too good to last anyway.”
Rio didn’t think she was meant to hear the words, so she pretended she didn’t even though they made her heart ache slightly.
She, too, wished they could have stayed cuddled up on the couch longer.
The quiet slaps of his bare feet on the hardwood floor announced Nicky’s presence before his head appeared in the doorway of the living room.
Rio watched how he cautiously looked toward the couch, probably to figure out if there was someone sleeping there or not, and then how a huge smile stretched over his face upon seeing his mom was finally here.
“MAMA!” he jelled as he ran as fast as his little legs would allow him towards the woman sitting next to Rio with her arms held open for her son.
Nicky jumped into Agatha’s open arms, eliciting a small uff from the older woman upon impact.
“Hey baby,” Rio heard Agatha whisper into her son’s hair. “Did you sleep okay?”
Nodding enthusiastically in response, Nicky pulled out of the embrace. But he didn’t go far. Instead, he stayed on his mother’s lap and placed his little hands on Agatha’s cheeks, squishing her face adorably.
Suddenly Nicky’s gleeful expression turned serious though, and Rio felt her brow furrow with worry in tandem with Agatha’s.
“How is Aunt Lilia?” he inquired silently as if he was afraid of the answer.
Agatha put her hands around his wrists, keeping his hands in place on her face and squeezed them in a show of comfort before she smiled at her son reassuringly, “She’s going to be okay. She had to stay overnight at the hospital, but we can go and pick her up later.”
The squeal of joy Nicky let out at Agatha’s words made Rio quietly chuckle to herself as her heart flooded with warmth.
She was such a goner for these two.
Suddenly Rio realized that Agatha and Nicky were both staring at her expectantly and a sense of confusion began to envelop her.
Had she missed something?
“What?” she implored carefully as her smile involuntarily dropped into a slight frown.
Instead of answering, Agatha and Nicky simultaneously squinted their eyes at her, smiles still firmly plastered onto their faces.
It only managed to confuse Rio further.
It was also kind of creepy how in tune the two people opposite her were because just as Rio was about to ask what the hell was going on, Agatha and Nicky faced each other, apparently holding a whole conversation only with their eyes.
One sharp nod from Nicky, his expression now incredibly serious, signaled the end of whatever was happening between them and the older woman and her son faced Rio once more.
The seriousness of their expressions would’ve probably caught Rio completely off guard if she hadn’t spotted the playful gleam shining from Agatha’s eyes.
What were those two up to?
Rio narrowed her eyes just as playfully in return, staring down the pair in front of her.
“Soo…”, Nicky drawled, looking at her as if he was seeing right into her soul, “Do you know how to make pancakes?”
At his words a sudden laugh burst out of Rio. Whatever she’d been expecting it hadn’t been this.
“Yes, I know how to make pancakes,” she answered smiling brightly at the little boy.
Nicky let out a jubilant cheer in response, punching the air above his head with both of his fists in enthusiasm before he catapulted himself of off Agatha’s lap towards Rio.
To the chorus of all three of them now joyfully laughing, Rio caught him effortlessly in her arms.
__
“Do it again!”
Rio chuckled at the demand of the little boy standing beside her in front of the stove.
All three of them, Agatha, Nicky and her, had moved into the kitchen a little while ago to get started on the pancakes Rio’s two visitors had ordered for breakfast.
After the dough had been prepared, Agatha had excused herself to take a shower to get rid of the lingering hospital smell that still faintly clung to her from having spent most of the night there to make sure Lilia would be okay.
So, now it was only Nicky and her in the kitchen, turning the dough into delicious, fluffy pancakes. The smell of the cooking dough already made Rio’s mouth water, and judging by the giddiness of the little boy next to her, he also couldn’t wait to finally be able to devour his share of their beautifully golden-brown breakfast treats.
“Do it again!” Nicky repeated, bouncing on the balls of his feet and Rio chuckled quietly to herself once more.
“Not yet,” she smiled at him, “remember what I told you about the bubbles?”
A contemplative look crossed Nicky’s face at Rio’s question, stilling his incessant bouncing for the moment.
“All the bubbles have to plop and there shouldn’t be any wet spots left before the pancake can be flipped,” he recited the exact words Rio had told him earlier when they’d begun the process of preparing their breakfast.
“Very good,” Rio grinned, feeling strangely proud of the little boy next to her for remembering the instructions so well. “And how does this pancake look to you? Do you think it’s ready to be flipped?”
Rio watched how Nicky eyed the pancake currently frying in the pan. She didn’t need look to know that it wasn’t quite ready yet, but she was curious to see if Nicky would come to the same conclusion.
She was certain that he would, he was too smart not to.
Underlined by the quiet sizzling of the pancake in front of them, Rio’s grin transformed into a soft smile the second Nicky’s face fell as he realized that the pancake wasn’t ready to be flipped yet.
“No,” he sighed dejectedly like he had just received the worst news in the world.
Rio’s heart squeezed painfully in her chest at seeing him so down and she reached out to ruffle his hair playfully in hopes of easing the atrocity of the unready to be flipped pancake.
“It’s okay, buddy, it won’t take much longer. See, it’s almost done!”
Trying to cheer Nicky up she moved the pan rapidly back and forth on the stove, making the pancake slide back and forth as well and the little boy beside her erupt in gleeful giggles.
When the pancake was ready to be flipped a few minutes later, Rio turned to Nicky with a serious expression on her face as she grabbed the handle of the frying pan.
“Okay, ready?” she asked, her tone just as serious as her face.
Nicky didn’t say anything, he just nodded once, the expression on his face matching the one on her own.
It was kind of ridiculous that they looked like they were preparing for the hardest battle of their lives when all they were actually about to do was flip a pancake.
Rio loved it though. She loved doing this with Nicky. Teaching him things, being fake serious in the most unserious way with him, making him smile and laugh and have fun.
She wished she could do it every day. Be there for him in whatever way he wanted and needed.
Shaking herself out of her thoughts with a slight shake of her head because this really wasn’t the time to think about these things, not when there was a pancake waiting to be flipped, Rio lifted the frying pan off the stove.
Tentatively she moved the pan in the air, making the pancake slide around slightly, to get a feel for what she was about to attempt. She’d done this many times before in her life, might even consider herself an expert, and still, she still got nervous about messing it up every single time.
On her next exhale Rio quickly pushed the pan forward and flicked her wrist upward. The pancake left the pan flying in a perfect arc, turning just the way it should in the air and Rio caught it with exaggerated flourish in the pan again just at the right moment.
After all was done, Rio, pan still in hand, bowed down to Nicky who in turn burst out cheering like a maniac at her successful flipping maneuver.
Laughing at the little boy antics, Rio stood up straight again and placed the pan back on the stove, so the pancake could finish cooking.
“That was so cool!” Nicky exclaimed way too loud and way too excited, smiling the biggest smile at her.
Rio smiled back at him just as big as she affectionately ruffled his hair again.
“It really was, wasn’t it?”
__
A little while later it was Agatha in the kitchen with her instead of Nicky. They were almost done with breakfast; Rio was just finishing the last few bites of her pancakes.
Nicky had already finished his, basically inhaling them the moment they had hit his plate, and he was currently happily watching cartoons in the living room.
The scraping of Rio’s cutlery across her plate and the soft sounds drifting through the open doorway from the TV were the only sounds around her and the older woman.
The quiet between them wasn’t uncomfortable though, it was quite the opposite actually. Agatha seemed lost in her own thoughts, staring unseeingly at the kitchen counter just behind Rio.
Her hair was still wet from the shower she’d taken earlier, her face was clean of any make-up and in the low light of the gray winter morning Agatha looked more relaxed and softer than Rio had ever seen her.
The fact that she was wearing one of Rio’s favorite hoodies didn’t help.
It made Rio’s insides feel all gooey and warm, and all she wanted to do was reach out and take Agatha’s hand that was laying next to her empty plate on the table, into hers.
She yearned for it so much she felt her fingertips twitching and she had to tighten the hold on her knife to prevent herself from just throwing caution into the wind and interlacing her fingers with those of the woman sitting next to her.
Rio wasn’t sure if it was something Agatha would be okay with though. If it even was something Agatha wanted.
Sure, they had woken up cuddled together on her couch this morning. And yeah, Agatha had pulled her closer and buried her face in Rio’s neck. But they, or rather Agatha, had only just woken up and she’d still been sleepy and probably not totally conscious of her actions.
At least not as much as she was now.
Now, it was different. The day had come, and Nicky had woken up and they were no longer cuddled up on the couch.
And although the silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable, Rio felt incredibly out of her depth as to how to behave around the older woman after everything that had happened last night and this morning.
Dragging the last piece of her pancake through the sirup on her plate Rio brought the bite to her mouth and chewed slowly, her mind still occupied with all these feelings.
She knew what they meant, she wasn’t an idiot, well, not always at least, but she wasn’t ready to admit what exactly these feelings meant.
Rio was in no way ready to face any of them yet.
A part of her wondered how much time she had left before they would force her to confront herself. How much longer she could go on like this and pretend that her heart wasn’t constantly longing, hoping, craving for so much more.
“You have some sirup…”
Agatha’s voice pulled Rio out of her wandering thoughts, and Rio turned her head to face her.
Agatha was looking at her with a soft smile on her face and it made Rio smile back at her just as softly.
Which is why it took Rio much longer than she was ever going to admit to realize that Agatha was also pointing at the side of her own mouth with her fingertip, indicating the spot where Rio had apparently smeared her face with sirup.
Embarrassed, Rio quickly tucked her head down to hide her blush and quickly brought her hand up to rub at the side of her mouth.
When she heard Agatha chuckle quietly beside her, Rio felt a small grin begin to stretch across her face and after one last rub she looked up and at the woman next to her again.
“Better?” Rio inquired playfully, a teasing smirk on her face.
Agatha’s soft smile only stayed in place a second longer before she began to smirk as well. She seemed to contemplate her answer really hard, her eyes flicking between Rio’s own and her lips repeatedly, measuringly.
Agatha’s antics made Rio playfully narrow her eyes at her.
What was this woman doing?
Agatha playfully narrowed her eyes back at her before she suddenly burst out laughing.
It wasn’t loud or boisterous, it was a quiet laugh. It was the kind of laugh you laugh out of disbelief, out of happiness, out of lo –
Nope. Not going there.
Forcing herself back into the present, Rio raised her eyebrows in a silent question at Agatha.
The older woman’s laugh had thankfully subsided, and her signature smirk was back in its rightful place.
This Rio knew how to handle. This she was used to.
“No, it’s not better,” Agatha stated amused.
Rio huffed in mock annoyance and brought her hand up once more to rub at her face.
“Oh my god, stop before you hurt yourself,” Agatha uttered after a few seconds, teasingly rolling her eyes at Rio’s futile attempts to clean the sirup off her face. “Here, let me.”
Before Rio knew what was happening, Agatha leaned forward in her seat and her hand began to move towards Rio’s face.
Her own hand dropped uselessly away from her face into her lap as her brain was still struggling to catch up to what was going on.
Was Agatha really going to wipe the sirup off her face herself?
With her own fingers?
Rio wasn’t sure she was going to survive it if Agatha actually decided to do exactly that. But apparently the older woman was hell bent on killing her because her hand was getting closer and closer to Rio’s face.
And then suddenly Agatha’s fingertips skimmed along her jaw.
They tenderly trailed the line towards her ear.
Agatha’s hand cradled her face.
Rio closed her eyes.
She exhaled in a rush, her lips parting slightly.
When Agatha’s thumb traced her bottom lip Rio felt the touch everywhere. Her whole body tingled, from the tips of her hair to the tips of her toes, and she had to keep herself very very still to not show how much the older woman’s touch was affecting her.
Agatha’s thumb reached the corner of her mouth.
The pressure of her touch increased for a moment.
Then her hand was gone.
Rio breathing was ragged. She tried to hide it, to mask it by pretending she had to cough. It probably didn’t work.
Because holy shit.
Had that really just happened?
“There. That’s better.”
At Agatha’s words Rio opened her eyes again, surprised by how unaffected the woman next to her sounded.
Upon meeting Agatha’s gaze Rio immediately wished she had kept her eyes shut for just a little while longer. She wasn’t strong enough for this.
Agatha’s eyes were twinkling with mischief, her pupils were blown and her lips curled up in a lopsided smirk.
Rio subconsciously licked her lips because holy fuck.
This woman was so mesmerizing.
Transfixed Rio could do nothing but watch as Agatha winked at her, as she brought the thumb she had used to wipe the sirup from the corner of Rio’s mouth to her own lips, as she flicked her tongue across the tip a couple of times before she softly sucked it clean, humming contentedly as she did so.
Rio was sure her jaw had hit the floor by now.
Her heart was definitely doing somersaults inside her chest, and the heat that was spreading unhindered low through her stomach might just drive her crazy any second.
God, how much she wanted to reach out right now, to grab the front of Agatha’s hoodie, to pull her close and crash their lips together.
It wasn’t only a want anymore. It was a need.
And Rio was losing the battle she’d been fighting with herself about not crossing any boundaries more and more by the minute. She’d never had to fight so hard in her entire life to restrain herself. It was almost painful.
That Agatha was staring at her with half-lidded eyes and a challenging smirk plastered across her stupidly stunning face didn’t help at all.
Suddenly a phone began to ring loudly in the living room, effectively breaking the spell that had enveloped Rio’s small kitchen.
“MAMA!” Nicky yelled, “YOU’RE PHONE IS RINGING!”
“No shit, Sherlock,” Agatha huffed quietly, her eyes full of fondness for her son. Then she got up and without another glace in Rio’s direction made her way toward the living room where her phone was still blaring.
As Agatha passed behind her Rio felt the older woman’s fingertips trace along her shoulders. The touch was so soft it was barely there, but it made Rio shiver in her seat, nonetheless.
Disbelievingly Rio chuckled to herself.
Her whole body felt like it was on fire, burning with desire for the woman who had just left the kitchen.
Trying to calm herself down Rio inhaled deeply and then let the breath escape her in a rush. She repeated the action a few times as she focused on Agatha’s muted voice. She couldn’t understand what she was saying but it was a good way to keep track of when Agatha would return.
As Rio’s eyes travelled across the table a small smile began to spread across her face when her gaze fell on Agatha’s coffee mug.
Who knew that in the mornings Agatha preferred her coffee sinfully sweet and with a gallon of milk?
It had been adorable earlier when Agatha had shyly asked for sugar and milk, a slight pink blush tinting her cheeks, after Rio had placed a mug of black Americano, just as she usually liked it, in front of her.
“The hospital just called,” Agatha’s voice broke through Rio’s thoughts, making her turn around in her chair to face the older woman standing in the doorway. “Lilia is stable enough to go home.”
Agatha was clutching the phone in her hands like a lifeline and her tone was incredibly soft as she spoke. She seemed as if a huge weight had just been lifted off her shoulders.
“That’s great!” Rio smiled at her.
And it was.
Rio was so happy that Lilia was okay and that she was able to leave the hospital again.
At the same time, she couldn’t help but feel her heart sink at the implication of what this meant. Rio knew it was wrong and selfish, but she didn’t want Agatha to leave.
She wanted her to stay longer.
Preferably forever.
Rio mentally kicked herself for thinking that way. It didn’t matter what she wanted right now. This was more important than her fantasies of all the things Agatha and she could be.
If she weren’t Agatha’s student and Agatha weren’t her professor that is.
“It is,” Agatha tentatively smiled back. “I told Nicky to go and grab his stuff, so I should probably also give this back to you.”
Agatha motioned to Rio’s hoodie that Rio had given her after her shower and that she was still wearing.
“No, it’s fine. Keep it. You can give it back another time.”
It looks better on you anyway, Rio added in her thoughts but didn’t dare say out loud.
“Okay, thanks,” Agatha grinned. “I might just keep it for a while then because it’s reaaally comfortable.”
Rio narrowed her eyes at the older woman in playful outrage while her heart skipped a beat at the thought of Agatha wearing her hoodie in her own home.
“Agatha,” Rio clicked her tongue, “don’t forget I know where you live. I could come by anytime to take it back.”
Agatha only smirked and winked at her in response.
Then she turned around and went back into the living room, leaving Rio staring speechlessly after her behind in the kitchen.
__
The words came after Rio had said goodbye to Agatha and Nicky.
After she had put the plates and cutlery away that they had used for breakfast.
After she had sat down at her now empty kitchen table.
After she had put her messenger bag down next to her chair.
After she had pulled out her laptop to get a head start on one of her essays.
After her eyes had fallen on the coffee stain left behind by Agatha’s mug that Rio had forgotten to wipe away.
Rio scrambled for her little notebook, pulling it out of her bag with way more force than necessary. Frantically she looked around for a pen, exhaling in relief when she found one laying on the table next to her laptop.
Her hand was shaking slightly from the adrenaline coursing through her veins when she began to write.
black coffee stains
the liquified corpse
of one morning
that ended too soon
i remember
your lips on the edge
of the white cup
stained red with your love
in that moment
i so wished i could
make all clocks stop
from turning on us
black coffee stains
i stare at – wonder –
why one morning
can’t last forever
Chapter 8: Your Eyes keep flicking to my Lips
Summary:
Reflection, revelation, tension.
Notes:
Hello beautiful people!
I'm very sorry that it took me so long to post an update.
Life got really rough for a while and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to ever get back to this story.But then I still kept getting sporadic notifications of people leaving kudos or comments even though the last time I posted a new chapter was 6ish months ago, and somehow I was really touched by that. It made me realize that this story means something to a lot of people and just because it hurts me to get back to writing it because of my memories connected to this story, doesn't mean that it can't mean somthing completely different to someone else. That someone else can't still find joy and hope and comfort in it.
Besides, I promised I wouldn't abondon this story, so. ;)
Anyway, the next chapter will be up sometime in September because I'm currently also writing my Bachelor's thesis and I finally have to get my shit together and actually focus on it if I want to be able to hand it in within the deadline at the end of August.
Now, without further ado, please enjoy! :)
Chapter Text
A week later, in her Monday morning seminar with Agatha, Rio was still reeling from what had happened between her and her professor during the previous weekend.
As much as she tried to push past it, to remind herself that they were just friends, that it hadn’t meant anything, Rio just couldn’t let it go.
Her mind was stuck.
And so was her heart.
It hadn’t even been that huge of a thing, and it could easily be written off as a friend searching for comfort in another friend during a time of distress.
But Rio couldn’t just write it off as easily. Even if the rational part inside of her told her that she should. That if she didn’t it would only lead her down a path doomed by misery and heartbreak.
Rio ignored that part inside of her.
Because, to her, it had been a huge thing.
Waking up to Agatha all cuddled up to her? Having the older woman wipe sticky sirup from the corner of Rio’s mouth just to lick it from her own fingers?
Yeah, not a huge thing at all.
And to top it all off and tie it up neatly with a bow, Agatha had left wearing Rio’s hoodie, had claimed it for herself in a way that had screamed this is mine now and you won’t ever get it back.
Rationality had little to do with how all of this had made Rio feel.
How it still made her feel every time she thought about it.
And Rio thought about it a lot.
Throughout the last week snippets of these memories had haunted her every waking moment. They had invaded her dreams and thoughts so suddenly, so violently, that at times all Rio had been able to think about had been the feeling of Agatha’s fingertips trailing along her jaw, of Agatha’s breath tickling the crook of her neck, of Agatha’s nose softly brushing against the skin of her throat as she snuggled deeper, pushed her body closer and closer, into Rio.
Of course, the older woman had noticed Rio’s distraction.
She was way too perceptive not to.
Thankfully though, Rio had been saved from getting caught not paying attention in Agatha’s seminar once more as there hadn't been a seminar session last Monday.
As soon as Lilia had been rushed to the hospital, her professor had cancelled all her classes for the following day, which had been a Monday since Lilia had had her health scare on a Sunday.
But it hadn’t kept Agatha from noticing how spaced out and distracted Rio had been in their weekly private session during the older woman’s office hours on Thursday and their weekly meet up with Nicky at the Den on Sunday.
Multiple times Agatha had asked her if she was alright during both occasions.
And every time Rio had told her that she was fine and that she just had a lot on her mind.
It had placated the older woman some but Rio knew that it had barely been enough to do so.
She had felt it in the way Agatha had leaned ever so slightly closer to her, how her eyes had intently mustered Rio’s face for any sign that what she’d said hadn't been the truth and how her eyes had seemed to linger much more and much longer on Rio than they usually did.
Her professor’s concern had been touching, and it had made Rio’s heart ache with fondness for the woman in front of her so strongly that she’d come close to completely spilling her guts to Agatha more than once.
What had hit Rio the hardest though, had been how her professor’s signature smirk had changed. How it now bore a layer of concern underneath it, hidden in the corners of Agatha’s eyes, every time she directed it at Rio.
And Rio hated it.
It made her want to scream and trash and curse the whole universe for putting her in this position.
Because what the fuck?!
How had she even gotten here?
An inaudible sigh left Rio’s lips. She was completely zoned out from whatever Agatha was talking about at the front of the classroom. She hadn’t even looked at the older woman once ever since she had walked in and taken up her usual seat in the last row.
She couldn’t.
Because if she did, if Rio raised her head and looked at Agatha, glowing with passion and completely in her element, she was afraid she would give everything away.
Rio wasn’t stupid.
And she’d be a fool if she said she had no idea what any of this meant.
Because she did.
She knew exactly what this meant.
This was not friendship.
This was not a crush.
This was something more.
So much more.
This was falling that felt like flying.
And Rio could no longer pretend that it wasn’t.
She couldn’t lie to herself anymore.
Even if she still couldn’t tell Agatha the truth, Rio could at least be honest with herself.
After all the self-inflicted emotional turmoil she had put herself through, she owed herself at least that much.
She was falling in love with Agatha.
Agatha Harkness.
Her professor.
Rio was so fucked.
Just barely Rio kept herself from laughing out loud.
Leave it to her to finally admit her feelings to herself while zoning out in class.
A class taught by the very woman Rio had developed those feelings for no less.
The sound of chairs scraping noisily across the classroom floor finally pulled Rio out of her own head.
Apparently, the seminar session had just ended, and everyone was packing their things and getting ready to leave.
Rio didn’t move.
She stayed seated in her chair at the back and let the hustle and bustle of her parting peers wash over her like a cool rain shower on an overheated summer day.
The flurry of activity all around her was strangely calming. Grounding even, in the way that it kept Rio from drifting back into her head and getting lost in the maze of her own mind once more.
After a few minutes the only people left in the classroom where her and Agatha.
The older woman already had all her things packed up and the strap of her satchel hooked over her left shoulder.
This time, Rio couldn’t not look at her.
Agatha Harkness was a truly mesmerizing woman.
From the way her long dark hair fell in soft waves over her shoulders, to the way her charcoal-colored suit perfectly hugged every inch and curve of her body.
When her gaze met Rio’s, she smirked.
Playfully, knowingly, concernedly.
Then she winked, turned around and left.
Great, Rio thought.
Of course, Agatha had noticed her distraction.
Again.
--
This week was Thanksgiving week, which meant Rio wouldn’t meet up with Agatha on Thursday like she usually did to discuss the progress on her poetry project as all classes had been suspended from Wednesday through Sunday due to the holiday.
Although it meant that Rio got to see and spent less time with her professor than usual this week, she wasn’t really mad about it.
In fact, Rio welcomed the alone time the break offered her.
Her head was still all over the place. Even more so now that she had finally admitted the whole extend of her budding feelings for the older woman to herself.
Rio honestly had no idea how she was supposed to proceed from here.
Was she supposed to just pretend that nothing had changed?
That they could still be just friends?
That she didn’t want so much more than that?
It was a slippery slope that Rio currently found herself on. One wrong step and she would slip and crash with no idea where she would end up once the slide came to a stop.
It kind of felt like a balancing act on a tightrope that was way too high strung to hold out for much longer.
Rio could feel the taste of inevitability creep up in the back of her throat, and she knew that sooner rather than later it would fill her mouth completely. It would force her feelings in the form of fledging, desperate words of uncertainty and blinding hope from her mouth.
And there wouldn’t be anything Rio could do to keep them from spilling over like a glass being filled with too much water.
With a groan Rio rolled over and buried herself deeper into the soft embrace of comfort of her pillows and blanket.
It was already past 12pm, and she hadn’t even left her bed yet.
And even though it was Thanksgiving Day, Rio didn’t care. In contrast to many of her peers who took advantage of the break to visit and spend some time with their families, Rio didn’t have anything to do or anywhere to be today.
She and her family weren’t exactly close close. Her parents loved her, and Rio loved her parents but the love between them was more of a those are people you’re supposed to love kind of love than these are people you love because you chose to love them kind of love.
Don’t get her wrong, Rio greatly appreciated everything her parents had done for her when she was a child. Especially when it came to how they had dealt with her ADHD diagnosis and what exactly that had meant for all their lives moving forward.
But the truth of the matter was that the interactions between them often were strained and awkward, underlaid with a weird tension that constantly put Rio on edge.
It was exhausting. And nerve-wrecking.
Why the relationship between them was so strained, Rio didn’t know. There wasn’t any big drama or trauma that had happened between them. It had kind of always been that way and Rio had come to accept it for what it was.
Some people were close to their parents, some weren’t.
Some people only had one parent, and some people didn’t have any parents at all.
Life was funny like that.
And sometimes all you could do was accept whatever situation it put you in just for what it was without any judgement.
Nothing more and nothing less.
The vibrating of her phone abruptly pulled Rio from her thoughts.
Reluctantly she opened her eyes and slowly lifted her head of off her pillow.
Her eyes wandered over the crumpled sheets and smushed pillows. Her bed looked like a warzone from all the tossing and turning she had done throughout the night and the morning.
The sight made Rio chuckle, and the sound left a strangely loud echo behind in the quiet of her bedroom.
Rustling the sheets even more as she moved her hands all over the mattress, Rio tried to locate her phone.
It took her a few seconds but she finally found it hidden underneath one of her many pillows on the opposite side of her bed from where she slept.
Rio gripped the phone and rolled onto her back to prop herself up against the headboard.
Holding her phone above her face while laying down? No, thank you.
She had lost hold of the device too many times to count when she had done that, and smacking herself in the face with her own phone wasn’t something Rio was really in the mood for right now.
When she had finally gotten situated – her back resting against the headboard and her knees propped up in front of her – Rio turned on the screen of her phone.
There was a notification signaling a new message from A.H. at the bottom of her screen.
Rio frowned as her thumb hovered over the notification, struggling to place the contact the message had come from.
Then suddenly realization crashed over her like a tsunami.
If Rio had been able to see herself at that moment, she would’ve probably laughed out loud at herself, at how comically wide her eyes went and how her jaw dropped almost to the floor when the pieces of who exactly had just messaged her clicked into place.
Holy shit.
A.H.
Agatha Harkness.
Agatha had texted her.
So far, the only text she had gotten from the older woman had been when she had messaged Rio to let her know she was on her way over from the hospital.
Ever since then there had been nothing but silence.
From Agatha, and from Rio, too.
Somehow it just wasn’t something they did. Randomly texting each other about random things.
But now that Rio thought about it, maybe they should. It would probably be a lot of fun to banter with Agatha over text.
Would it make being just friends even harder?
Probably.
Did Rio think it would be worth it anyway?
Definitely.
Inhaling deeply to steal herself for whatever Agatha’s message would reveal, Rio finally touched her thumb down on the notification and watched with rapt attention as her messaging app opened.
Why was she suddenly so nervous?
Surely it wouldn’t be anything bad, right?
But then why had her hands become all clammy and her heartbeat all frantic all of a sudden?
A.H. (12:22pm): Come over for dinner tonight.
Rio read over the message at least ten times to make sure it actually said what she thought it said and that the words in front of her weren’t a trick of her own imagination.
But no, the words were real.
Black letters on a white background.
Plain as day for anyone to see should they look at them.
So, Agatha had asked her to come over for dinner.
Well, not asked exactly.
The message wasn’t a question.
It was a demand.
To Rio, it felt like a dare.
Before Rio could even come up with anything to text back in response another message appeared on the screen of her phone.
A.H. (12:27pm): If you’re not busy that is.
Rio wasn’t busy.
Far from it actually, proven by the circumstance that she was currently still in her bed. And her only plan for today had been to stay exactly where she was, order some food at some point and drown out all the noise inside her head with shitty reality TV.
Yet now Agatha wanted her to come to dinner.
And who was Rio to deny her?
Gods, she was such a goner for this woman.
Taking another deep breath, Rio finally texted back.
Rio (12:29pm): What time?
Was this too casual of a response?
Should she have said more?
Or less?
Rio’s overthinking was interrupted by the arrival of another text from Agatha.
A.H. (12:30pm): 7pm?
A small laugh burst out of Rio, rough and fractured from the lack of use of her voice, when she saw the message.
Now she asked?
This woman was really something.
Rio (12:31pm): I’ll be there.
--
The uber dropped Rio off in front of Agatha’s house at exactly 6:55pm.
Rio quietly thanked the driver and got out of the car with mixture of anticipation and dread following closely behind her.
The car door fell shut with a soft thud when she pushed it close, the noise trailing down the quiet street surrounding her as the uber quickly sped away in the opposite direction.
The huff of breath leaving Rio’s lips turned into a small cloud in front of her face from the cold of the early night.
Shivering slightly, Rio pulled her leather jacket tighter around her body while another huff of breath forced its way past her lips.
To say she was nervous would be an understatement.
Rio was a wreck.
She felt like a live wire, shot through with electricity, ready to short circuit and ignite everything around her at any moment.
Earlier in the day, just when Rio had begun to get ready, she had received another message from Agatha which had told her to dress comfortable and that it was only going to be her, Nicky and Rio tonight.
Rio hadn’t known what to do with this information at the time (she still didn’t), no less how to respond to it.
So, all she had done had been to react to the older woman’s text with a thumb ups emoji to let Agatha know that she had seen the message and understood.
But Rio wasn’t sure she had actually understood anything.
Because to her this whole affair felt suspiciously like a date.
Agatha wanting her to come over and have dinner with her and Nicky.
Agatha telling her to dress comfortably.
Agatha informing her it would only be them three.
All of it had Rio’s mind reeling.
Not that it had ever really stopped.
Rio was doubtful it ever would when it came to anything that had to do with Agatha Harkness.
It was just the effect the older woman had on her.
Or maybe it wasn’t actually Agatha, and more the whole situation they found themselves in.
Fated to be lovers but forced to be friends.
Rio silently scoffed at herself. She really needed to keep her overly romanticized doomed lovers spiel confined to her poetry.
It wouldn’t do anybody any good to have it bleed into her real life.
Least of all her.
(Yes, Rio was aware that it was already a part of her real life. But sometimes it was just nice to pretend everything wasn’t actually as fucked as it felt, you know?)
Running a hand roughly through her hair, hoping to dispel some of her mounting anxiety this way, Rio looked down at herself.
She had done what Agatha had asked her to do and dressed for comfort.
Her faded, dark blue baggy jeans hung low on her hips and the black oversized hoodie she wore underneath her dark gray leather jacket felt more like a warm hug than a piece of clothing.
Concerning her outfit, Rio was very comfortable.
These were all some of her favorite pieces, and she hoped that they would offer her at least a little bit of safety on this night drenched in uncertainty.
Because that was how Rio currently felt deep down.
Uncertain.
She had no idea what to expect.
No idea what Agatha’s intention was for wanting her here.
Honestly, Rio didn’t have much of an idea of anything when it came to the older woman and why she did whatever she did.
Agatha was an incredibly private person and insanely hard to read.
There were some things Rio knew though.
Things she had been able to deduce by watching, observing, seeing Agatha.
Things like how Agatha’s eyes were drawn to her lips more often than not when they spend time together.
Things like how Agatha’s hand itched closer and closer to Rio’s every time they sat next to each other.
Things like how Agatha’s mouth opened sometimes as if to say something but then quickly snapped shut again without ever uttering a single word.
Yes, Agatha was a mystery.
But Rio was pretty sure she was beginning to solve the puzzle.
Her poetry played a huge part in it.
It made her look at things differently, in a way. It gave her the chance to explore more perspectives than just her own and to reflect on her feelings and thoughts until they finally started to make sense.
She had actually just finished writing a new poem earlier in the day.
About Agatha.
About them.
It wasn’t the first, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.
Inhaling deeply, Rio finally began to make her way to the front door of Agatha’s house as she recited the lines in her mind to calm herself down, to slow her frantically beating heart and to steady her rapidly shaking hands.
The air smelled of winter and impossibility.
your eyes keep flicking to my lips
i caught you more than once
yet you’re too frightened to admit
that i’m the one you want
i understand, trust me, i do
this all-consuming need
and please believe, i am scared too
of warnings we won’t heed
but if you ask, i’ll take the risk
and i will stop to stall
so now, i guess, the question is
will you catch me when i fall –
--
The effect Agatha and Nicky had on Rio was truly astonishing.
As soon as the older woman had opened the door, wearing light blue mom jeans and Rio’s hoodie (!!!), fuzzy socks adorning her feet and her hair pulled up into a messy bun on top of her head, Rio’s nerves had evaporated at the adorableness in front of her.
Nicky rushing past his mother in his Spider-Man pajamas yelling Rio’s name in excitement and throwing himself into her arms at full speed had just cemented the sentiment further.
Rio had been wrong earlier when she had thought this would feel like a date.
Seeing Agatha and Nicky hadn’t felt like a date at all.
It had felt like coming home.
--
The dinner Agatha had prepared had probably been one of the best meals Rio had ever eaten.
Self-made pasta with pan-fried salmon bathed in lemon sauce and oven-baked zucchini sprinkled with parmesan on the side.
It had been so delicious that Rio hadn’t been able to hold back a small moan when she’d taken her first bite.
The image of the blush spreading across Agatha’s face and trailing down her neck in reaction to Rio’s action, and how Agatha had quickly dipped her head to hide how such a simple sound had affected her, was still burned into Rio’s eyelids.
And she wished and hoped she wouldn’t ever forget it.
All in all, dinner had been a boisterous affair with Nicky telling one story after the other, catching Rio up on everything that had happened in his life since they had last seen each other.
Agatha had been mostly quiet. Sipping her glass of wine in silence and keeping an eye on both Nicky and Rio from her place across the table.
There had been a small smile etched into the corners of Agatha’s mouth throughout it all though.
As it was close to Nicky’s bedtime already, he was currently upstairs getting ready for bed while Rio was in the kitchen with Agatha, helping the older woman to clean up the mess left behind from their dinner.
“So, you never go home for Thanksgiving break?”, Agatha asked as she handed Rio another plate to load into the dishwasher.
Straightening after putting the plate in its designated spot in the machine, Rio swept some of her hair out of her face that had fallen into her eyes. “No, I usually just stay here and spent the break with Alice and then go home for Christmas and New Year’s to spend some time with my family.”
At first Agatha only hummed noncommittedly in response but then her forehead suddenly crinkled with a frown, her eyes narrowed and her gaze burned even more intensely into Rio’s.
“Wait, did I keep you from spending time with your friend tonight? You know you could’ve said no if you already had plans.”
It wasn’t an accusation.
If anything, Agatha sounded genuinely worried that she might have compromised Rio’s plans by wanting her to come over.
It warmed Rio’s heart to see the woman in front of her so flustered and unsure.
“No, you didn’t keep me from anything. Alice couldn’t stay here for the break this year because some of her distant relatives from China are visiting and she barely sees them, so she went home to spent the break with them”, Rio rushed to assure Agatha.
“And I didn’t have any plans for today at all besides spending the whole day in bed watching shitty reality TV and ordering copious amounts of unhealthy food”, she tacked on with a small self-deprecating laugh, casting her eyes toward the ground in embarrassment of actually admitting this out loud.
Agatha suddenly laughing out loud quickly made Rio look back up again and focus on her once more though.
Her signature smirk was stretched across her face in full force, and Rio was so captivated by the playful twinkle in Agatha’s eyes and the teasing tilt of her mouth that she almost missed what Agatha said next.
“I’m not gonna lie, that does sound really nice”, Agatha replied, her smirk slowly fading into a soft, tentative smile.
Rio smiled back at her just as softly, tentatively.
“It can be.”
With the right person went unsaid between them but Rio knew Agatha understood what she meant.
(Just as Rio had understood what Agatha had meant.
That does sound really nice.
That does sound like something really nice to do with you.)
Agatha didn’t say anything further. She just looked fondly at Rio for a moment longer before she turned around to grab the next dish for Rio to load into the dishwasher.
They continued to work in a comfortable silence from that point on with the only noises surrounding them the occasional clanking and clinking of the plates and cutlery as they put Agatha’s kitchen back into order.
It was incredibly domestic, and the feeling of belonging that spread through Rio stronger and deeper with every beat of her heart had never felt so absolute.
This was where she belonged.
It didn’t matter that Agatha was her professor and that Rio was her student.
It didn’t matter that Agatha was older than her and already had a child.
It just didn’t matter.
Because this, her and Agatha, Agatha and her, was something very very special.
Something many people dreamed of.
Something not many people ever found.
But Rio had found it.
And she would be a fool to ever let it go again when it was all she had ever wanted.
Someone to belong to.
Someone to feel safe with.
Someone to make her feel like coming home.
Rio pushed the door of the dishwasher shut with a soft thud after putting the last plate into it.
Her back was turned towards Agatha now, and she took a moment to brace her hands on the counter in front of her, close her eyes and inhale deeply.
She could taste it creeping up again in the back of her throat, more powerful than ever before.
The inevitability.
Rio had no idea how much longer she would be able to hold back.
How much longer she could keep herself from taking Agatha’s face in her hands and erasing any and all space between their mouths, their lips, their bodies.
Because in this moment that was all Rio wanted to do.
It was all she could think about.
All she could feel.
A tentative touch to her shoulder startled Rio out of her spiraling and she abruptly, instinctively, turned around.
She had greatly miscalculated how close Agatha had gotten to her though, and when Rio spun around it made the older woman stumble backwards so violently that she slipped with her fuzzy socks on the smooth kitchen tiles and began to fall.
“Shit.”
The curse left Rio involuntarily as she watched Agatha fall as if in slow-motion. The older woman’s arms reached out frantically in search of anything to stop the pull of gravity that had its claws buried so deep into her.
Acting on pure reflex, Rio stepped forward, reached out and grabbed onto the woman in front of her. One of her arms wrapped itself protectively around Agatha’s back while the other urgently cradled the back of Agatha’s head.
And instead of gravity pulling Agatha to the ground, Rio pulled Agatha tightly into her.
The force of the collision pushed Rio’s back painfully into the counter, and she winced from the impact.
But Rio didn’t really care if she hurt herself. All that mattered was that the woman currently wrapped up in her arms was okay.
Rapidly Rio’s eyes flicked over Agatha’s face, which was so much closer to her own in this position than it had ever been before.
Shock was clearly written all over the older woman’s face. Her eyes were ripped open wide and large, her breath left her in sharp burst through slightly parted lips and Agatha’s hands dug almost painfully into Rio’s shoulder and hip respectively.
And even though Agatha looked unharmed, Rio still had to ask.
Still had to make sure that Agatha was actually alright.
“Are you okay?”, Rio questioned softly, her gaze still flicking all over Agatha’s face.
The sound of her words seemed to bring the older woman back to herself, and Rio watched as Agatha closed her eyes and expelled a long, hard exhale in a rush.
Slowly Agatha opened her eyes again and spoke only a single word.
“Yeah.”
Rio only nodded once in response, her eyes closing for a moment as well as relief flooded her system.
Agatha was okay.
When Rio opened her eyes again, Agatha’s expression had shifted.
Her gaze was clear, daring, and bore into Rio with an intensity that threatened to set fire to Rio’s insides at any second.
Suddenly Rio’s heartbeat spiked, racing as if she had just run a marathon.
Her breath hitched and her mouth ran dry.
Subconsciously Rio licked her lips. And she watched utterly captivated as Agatha’s eyes dipped to follow the path of her tongue.
Rio had no idea what was going on but it felt important.
Like a shift in the universe was about to happen.
Like something impossible had just become possible.
Agatha’s throat bobbed as she swallowed. Hard.
Rio yearned to trace the action with her fingers. To place her hand on the side of Agatha’s neck and trace the soft line at the front of her throat with her thumb.
Rio was so completely entranced by the woman in front of her that before she had made the conscious decision to do so, her hand had moved from the back of Agatha’s head to the side of her neck, her thumb tenderly following the movement of Agatha’s larynx across the soft skin of her throat the next time the older woman swallowed.
Letting her eyes trace the action of her hand over and over again, Rio lost all track of time and reason.
She could still feel Agatha’s gaze burning into her. Could feel Agatha’s breath ghosting over her face. Could feel the way Agatha was still holding onto her.
But instead of almost painful, Agatha’s grip now felt almost desperate.
As if she was struggling to keep herself in check, to keep them from becoming anything else except just friends, as much as Rio was in this moment.
“What are we doing?”
Rio hadn’t even realized she had spoken the words out loud until she heard Agatha inhale sharply above her.
“I don’t know.”
Agatha’s answer was barely more than a whisper.
Rio nodded imperceptibly, her eyes still transfixed by the ministrations her hand kept bestowing upon Agatha’s throat.
Yeah, that made sense. Rio had no idea what they were doing either.
Reluctantly, she tore her gaze away though, to focus back on Agatha’s face.
This time it was Rio’s turn to inhale sharply.
Agatha looked wrecked.
Her lips were parted and glistened in the low light of the kitchen as if she had just run her tongue over them in preparation for something.
Her eyes were hooded.
Her pupils slightly dilated.
It stole Rio’s breath away how fucking beautiful Agatha looked like this.
Wanting.
Needing.
Rio’s hand that was still wrapped around Agatha’s back clenched in the fabric of the older woman’s hoodie in an effort to ground herself.
Her other hand left Agatha’s throat and trailed upwards until it reached the side of Agatha’s face, until Rio could trace the line of Agatha’s cheekbone with her thumb.
Their gazes caught not a second later.
And all Rio could see when she looked into the eyes of the woman in front of her was inevitability.
The possibility of the impossible.
“Do you want me to stop?”, Rio whispered quietly into the miniscule space between their faces that somehow just seemed to keep shrinking.
Her eyes never left Agatha’s.
Stop what exactly Rio wasn’t sure as nothing had really happened yet.
But it felt like something was about to.
Something big.
Even though her answer was more composed of breath than sound, Agatha’s gaze burned with certainty when she replied.
“No.”
Chapter 9: You are
Summary:
A poetic dare.
Notes:
What's this?
Two updates in one week?!
Well...I blame my ADHD. :D
Anyway, I also realized that the last cliff I left you hanging on was maybe a bit higher than the cliff I usually leave you dangling from.
Also, as you might have noticed, I updated the chapter count as well. The last chapter (chapter 8) and this chapter weren't really part of the plan I made for this story, which I only realized after I'd finished writing them (I blame my ADHD for that, too). So now I have to find a way back to where I actually want this story to go somehow, and that might take more chapters than I intended this story to have at the beginning.
One other thing, I mentioned my twitter/X account here somewhere and I just wanted to inform you (in case any of you were following me there) that that account no longer exsits. As a queer, non-binary person and knowing who is at the helm of the network, I can no longer support that platform in good conscience by being a part of it. I'm not really a social media person but if you would like another way of being able to connect with me about this story or anything else that isn't AO3, please let me know and I promise I will figure something!
I also just want to say thank you for all the comments and kudos you guys left on the last chapter. It made me quite emotional to see that so many of you are still here and are still following and enjoying this very niche poetry infused little story of mine. You honeslty have no idea how much that means to me.
This is probably my favorite chapter I've written for this story so far because even though it might not seem like it at first glance, there's a lot of depth hidden within it.
Now, without further ado, please enjoy! :)
Chapter Text
She leaves footprints in the wet sand as she walks.
Her feet are bare and cold. But she still buries and curls her toes into the soft grainy ground beneath her soles with every fragile step she takes anyway.
Now and then, the waves lap at her ankles. The water they carry is cold, too. It feels like thousands of needles are suddenly pricking her feet every time the sea gets a hold of them.
Behind her, in the distance, the sun sets in a spectacle of red and orange and purple and pink. Next to her, the ocean roars, and an icy wind lashes at the exposed skin of her face, sending relentless shivers down her spine.
She doesn’t know where she’s going. She doesn’t know where she came from.
All she knows is the present. This present.
And she doesn’t question it. Why would she?
What is left to question when you don’t know anything about your future, about your past? When all that remains of who you are is your present?
The here and now. This moment.
A silent stroll on the beach in winter.
Barefoot, yet naked and exposed in so many more ways than one.
Salt clings to the air, like an infant clings to their parent’s leg. She can smell it all around her. She can taste it every time she licks her lips to protect them from the icy breeze.
Another harsh gust brings tears to her eyes. Quietly they roll down her cheeks. They don’t hurt, they’re not that kind of tears.
She doesn’t brush them away. She enjoys how they feel on her face, like little rivers full of life in the most substantial way. If she could, she'd bottle them. She’d love to keep them for a bad day as a reminder that tears don’t always have to hurt but can sometimes be quite beautiful instead.
It’s rather strange that she knows of bad days yet can’t remember ever experiencing one. Maybe it’s an innate thing, the awareness of good and bad. Just like the awareness of light and dark is. Or the awareness of a beating heart, a head full of thoughts and the fleetingness of it all.
Maybe those things are ingrained so deep into her being, her soul, that she doesn’t need a past or future to remember them.
Just like she doesn’t need a past or future to feel. To love, to hate, to be scared and afraid, to doubt, to hurt, to laugh until her belly aches.
To leave footprints in the wet sand as she walks.
__
No.
Agatha’s response echoed inside Rio’s head over and over again as her eyes continued to dart between Agatha’s eyes and her mouth.
No.
As she unclenched her hand from the back of Agatha’s hoodie and brought it up to tenderly trace her fingertips over the side of Agatha’s face.
No.
As she softly let it find its way to cradle the back of Agatha’s head before letting her hand finally come to rest on the back of Agatha’s neck.
No.
As Agatha moved her own hand from her shoulder to tightly fist the material of her hoodie parallel to where Agatha’s other hand was already holding on to her.
No.
As Agatha anchored herself there and impatiently pulled herself closer.
No.
As the echo of Agatha’s reply got interspersed, complemented, by her own question now and again.
Do you want me to stop?
No.
As their hips collided in a burst of pressure and sparks that made a stroke of heat rush through Rio’s entire body and settle low in her belly.
No.
As Agatha’s mouth parted slightly and she couldn’t help but trail her thumb along Agatha’s lower lip, utterly transfixed by the sight.
No.
As she felt Agatha’s breath mingle with her own.
No.
As the tip of her nose brushed against Agatha’s.
Do you want me to stop?
No.
As all she could hear was the blood rushing in her own ears from the adrenaline of this moment.
No.
As all she could see was the summer ocean blue of Agatha’s eyes.
No.
As all she could taste was impossibility.
Inevitability.
No.
As she hesitated. Not because she was scared but because she wanted, needed, this so much that she just had to savor every single second, so she could imprint it into her memory for eternity.
No.
As Agatha’s eyes closed and her grip on Rio’s hip tightened even more.
No.
As her own eyes closed and she increased the pressure of her hand on the back of Agatha’s neck.
Do you want me to stop?
No.
As finally, finally, the remaining, imperceptible distance between them was erased when she moved her head ever so slightly forward.
No.
As their lips tentatively touched in a soft brush of breath and skin.
No.
As she left her footprints in the wet path of sand of Agatha’s life.
No.
As the sound of footsteps trampling down the stairs suddenly burst their self-crafted bubble of forbidden desires and unspoken promises.
No.
As they sprung apart like they’d just been struck by lightning.
No.
As Nicky appeared at the bottom of the staircase grinning at his mother full of tenderness and mischief in his little boy’s way.
No.
As he joyfully exclaimed “I’m ready for storytime!” while running up to his mother and flinging himself into her arms.
No.
As Agatha effortlessly caught him, propped him up on her hip and began to pepper his whole face with small kisses.
No.
As Nicky shrieked with laughter and pushed at his mother’s face to get her to stop, the sound of his uninhibited laughter started to slowly fill all the spaces around and inside of Rio.
No.
As the echo quietly faded, then stopped.
--
A few moments later Rio found herself braced against the counter on her hands once more.
Her eyes were closed, and her head was bowed.
She felt completely undone.
Untethered.
Like a helium-filled ballon the hand of a little kid hadn’t been strong enough to hold onto that was now just drifting without any direction, any sense and any reason through the world.
The sounds of Nicky’s and Agatha’s laughter still floated through the room behind her.
Rio honestly had no idea how Agatha was just so…
…composed.
Like nothing had happened.
Like nothing had changed.
Like they hadn’t just been one second away from doing something that was very much something that just friends usually didn’t do.
She could still feel the ghost of Agatha’s lips on her own.
It haunted her.
It hunted her.
Breathing in deeply through her nose and breathing out slowly through her mouth, Rio tried to dispel all the lingering feelings and thoughts that just wouldn’t stop rushing into her mind, her heart, her soul.
Gods, how had she forgotten about Nicky?
How on earth had she forgotten about Agatha’s son who had been upstairs getting ready for bed destined to come back downstairs once he was done?
Fuck.
The curse almost slipped past Rio’s lips. Thankfully she managed to catch it before it could reach the tip of her tongue and tumble out of her mouth unbidden.
This was no one’s fault but her own.
No one but her was to blame for having gotten so utterly lost when faced with Agatha’s everything.
(Literally.)
Maybe she could also blame Agatha.
Just a little bit.
For being so Agatha.
The thought made a small smile stretch across Rio’s face.
As much as she wished Nicky hadn’t interrupted them, it had happened and there really wasn’t anything she could do about it now.
At least everything that had happened between her and the older woman had finally been able to shed some light on where Agatha stood.
She wanted this, too.
Just as much as Rio did.
And that thought gave Rio hope.
Much more hope than she ever believed she would have when it came to whatever this thing between Agatha and her was.
After taking another deep breath and exhaling it slowly, Rio turned around to face Agatha and Nicky at last.
Immediately her smile widened at the sight of them, and her heart gave a happy little thumb inside her chest as her whole body was encompassed by a tender feeling of warmth.
Agatha still had Nicky propped on her hip. But the laughter had subsided. Instead, a look of concentration was now etched into the lines of the older woman’s face.
Nicky was conspiratorially whispering something into his mother’s ear with his hand shielding his mouth as if to keep Rio from reading his lips and figuring out what he was saying.
Rio chuckled.
This little boy was so fucking adorable, and he owed her whole heart.
Once he was done, silence stretched imploringly between the three of them. Nicky looked expectantly at his mother but Agatha only shortly glanced and smiled softly at him before her gaze shifted and caught Rio’s.
“I don’t know, baby. You’ll have to ask her,” Agatha smirked and raised one of her brows as her eyes bore into Rio’s challengingly.
Challenging Rio for what?
Rio didn’t have the slightest clue.
She playfully narrowed her eyes at the woman in front of her but didn’t say anything. Instead, she only raised one of her own brows in response, giving Agatha a taste of her own medicine.
When Agatha’s eyes narrowed in recognition of what Rio was doing, Rio was barely able to suppress her laughter.
She really loved communicating with Agatha this way.
Riling her up without using any words.
Watching the effect of her actions take hold.
Saying so much without saying anything at all.
Rio had never experienced this with anyone before. This ease of an understanding, of knowing and seeing the person in front of you and this person knowing and seeing you back.
It was exhilarating.
And really fucking scary.
And it just made her fall for Agatha even more.
But before Agatha and her could continue their spiel of non-verbal teasing/flirting, Nicky quietly cleared his throat and shifted his attention to her.
“Rio,” he addressed her carefully, wringing his little hands in front of his chest. He seemed nervous for some reason, so Rio smiled reassuringly at him when their eyes met.
(Even if her heart was suddenly flooded with a wave of worry and concern.)
“Yeah?”
Nicky smiled tentatively back at her, then he spoke again, “Will you stay for storytime?”
Rio’s whole being melted at the little boy’s question.
How could someone just be so precious?
“I would love to,” she beamed.
Nicky beamed back at her.
And so did Agatha.
--
So, that was how Rio found herself inside Agatha’s bedroom fifteen minutes later. Wearing a pair of Agatha’s sweatpants and cuddled up with Agatha and Nicky in Agatha’s bed.
(The sweatpants had been Nicky’s idea. He had insisted that Agatha and her change out of their jeans into something more comfortable because “Jeans are not made for cuddling!”.
Moving storytime to Agatha’s bedroom had actually been Agatha’s idea though, as Nicky’s bed was way too small to fit the three of them.)
Rio swore that this day was getting crazier by the hour.
If anybody had told her yesterday that she would be here today, Nicky sandwiched between Agatha and herself, his little body curled into Rio with one of Agatha’s arms wrapped around him, she would have laughed out loud at them, turned around and walked away.
Yet, here she was now.
Funny how things worked out sometimes.
Agatha’s bedroom was understated in a way Rio hadn’t expected. The walls were painted in a light lilac, a massive bed was pushed up against the wall next to the windows and two small, rustic bedside tables were placed next to each side with little lamps situated on top of them.
The only other piece of furniture in the room was a medium-sized dresser across from the bed, and there was a dark, wood-paneled door next to it that Rio assumed led to either a walk-incloset or en suite.
The dark wood of the furniture and mysterious door contrasted nicely with the light lilac walls and white curtains and bed sheets.
Rio liked it.
She felt at ease here.
At least some part of her did.
Another part of her was currently freaking out at the fact that she was lying in Agatha’s bed.
Her bed!
And what a bed it was.
Everything was so incredibly soft. The pillows, the blankets, the mattress, it all felt like heaven. Like Rio had just ascended into the sky and had been placed upon a fluffy white cloud to rest.
Everything also smelled like her, and Rio felt like she was drowning in the scent of sandalwood, lavender and something inherently Agatha that followed the older woman everywhere.
Nicky had decided on Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland to be his bedtime story today. Agatha was quietly reading on the other side of the bed, making silly voices for the different characters as she went along.
Rio closed her eyes and let the moment wash over her.
For once, she didn’t want to overthink this.
She just wanted to be.
In this moment.
Right now.
Listening to Agatha’s soothing voice turning words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, paragraphs into chapters and chapters into a story.
She could feel Nicky’s breath tickling the side of her neck. Rio wasn’t sure whether he was still awake. She had lost track of time a while ago and had no idea how long Agatha had been reading for so far.
Absentmindedly, Rio let her hand trail up and down Nicky’s back, occasionally brushing against Agatha’s arm, each contact sending little pulses of electricity through her body as she did so.
Tuning back into Agatha’s voice, Rio noticed that she was coming up on Rio’s favorite part of the story.
‘“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to walk from here?”’ Agatha read, imitating Alice’s voice by pitching her own voice higher, before she switched to a deeper tone for the cheshire cat and continued, ‘“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.’
Rio marveled at the older woman’s ability to tell this story and let herself completely get lost in her words.
‘“I don’t much care where——” said Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you walk,” said the Cat. “——so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation. “Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”
Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. “What sort of people live about here?” “In that direction,” the Cat said, waving its right paw round, “lives a Hatter: and in that direction,” waving the other paw, “lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they’re both mad.”
“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. “Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”’
Eyes still closed, a faint smile enveloped Rio’s face as Agatha’s voice faded from her consciousness and she began to drift off into nothing.
The last thing Rio felt before sleep stole her away from reality was a hand tenderly reaching for hers (the one she had placed on Nicky’s back).
She felt how it tentatively laced its fingers with her own and squeezed softly.
Was Rio mad for coming here today?
Most likely.
Did she regret it?
No. Not at all.
--
At first, when consciousness snuck slowly but steadily back into Rio’s awareness, she had no idea where she was.
The sheets wrapped around her body felt too soft to be her own, and the faint traces of sandalwood and lavender and something she couldn’t quite put her finger on lingering in the air all around her didn’t fit the smell of her own bedroom either.
For a moment Rio panicked.
Rapidly she rolled onto her back, sat up and opened her eyes.
But at the harsh glare of brightness that greeted her once she did so, Rio immediately shut them again.
It was definitely also way too bright to be her bedroom. Her blinds would never let this much light into the room in the morning.
Still disoriented, Rio brought one of her hands up to her face to protect her vision from the assault she had experienced only a few seconds earlier.
This time, she was able to keep her eyes open.
As her gaze drifted through the room around her realization slowly began to dawn on Rio.
The white curtains in front of the window let just enough of the early morning sun trickle into the room to make the light lilac walls and stark white sheets around her glow with an ethereal tint.
It gave the whole room an otherworldly feeling.
Like it had been drenched in magic in the night and now couldn’t wait to show off its new abilities to the rising sun.
The thought made a small smile envelop Rio’s face.
Her hand dropped back to her side, and with a soft chuckle and a slight shake of her head she let herself fall back onto the bed.
Leave it to Agatha to design her bedroom in a way that made it seem as if it had been touched by the most mesmerizing witchcraft in the shadow of the night.
Besides Rio and some rumpled sheets and pillows, the bed was empty.
Frowning as she wrecked her brain for the memories of how exactly she had gotten here, Rio tried to figure out what had happened.
Agatha had invited her for dinner.
She had agreed.
They’d had dinner with Nicky and afterwards, as Nicky had been getting ready for bed, Agatha and she had cleaned up the kitchen.
The kitchen.
Rio swallowed as the memory of what exactly had happened in the kitchen rushed into her mind.
Holy mother of the gods!
Had Agatha and her really kissed?!
(Well, almost kissed to be precise. But their lips had touched before Nicky had interrupted them, so to Rio it still counted as a kiss.)
Unaware of her own actions, Rio closed her eyes, brought her hand up to her mouth and tentatively pressed her fingertips into her lips.
The memory felt like a fever dream.
Unreal in the most unrealistic way of unrealness.
Apparently, it had happened though.
Because Rio also remembered what had happened afterwards.
How Nicky had asked her to stay for storytime.
How they had all cuddled up together in Agatha’s bed.
How utterly captivated she had been by Agatha’s ability to breathe life into a story.
How she had closed her eyes, Nicky snuggled tightly into her side, and drifted off to the soothing tone of Agatha reading one of her favorite passages of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.
The murmur of soft voices drifting into the room through the half-open bedroom door pulled Rio gently out of her thoughts.
She knew who those voices belonged to.
Agatha and Nicky were probably downstairs in the kitchen making breakfast.
Involuntarily a small grin stretched across Rio’s face. She couldn’t wait to see them.
The happy little thumb of her heart at the prospect of being near what had become two of her favorite people in the world finally made Rio untangle herself from the sheets and get up.
As she made her way out of Agatha’s bedroom, Rio was surprised to discover that she didn’t feel anxious or nervous or unsettled at all at the thought of being faced with Agatha after the events of the previous evening.
Instead, a quiet sense of contentment and stillness washed over her.
And for the first time in almost two weeks during which her mind had been running rampant with uncertainty in regard to Agatha’s feelings, her thoughts calmed down.
Because after everything that had happened yesterday, Rio now knew that, at least to some extent, Agatha wanted this, too.
--
The sight that greeted Rio once she reached the bottom of the stairs stopped her dead in her tracks.
Right across from her, at the far end of the open floor plan of the downstairs area of Agatha’s house, Agatha and Nicky were standing at the kitchen counter. Their backs were facing Rio, and Nicky was perched atop one of the chairs from the dining table to be able to do whatever it was he was doing at the counter in front of him.
He also wore a little chef’s hat on his head that made him look just way too adorable for his own good.
Warmth spread through Rio’s body and settled deep into the creases of her hopeless heart.
This was what she yearned for.
This was what she wanted.
This was what she wanted to wake up to every morning for the rest of her life.
A longing smile spread over her face, and as Rio unfroze her body from its state of blissful shock and stepped forward again, the creak of the last stair finally made Agatha and Nicky turn around and notice her arrival.
Immediately two pairs of eyes beamed at her.
“Rio!”, Nicky exclaimed with the biggest smile on his face, clambering of off his chair and running towards her as fast as his little feet would let him.
Abruptly, he came to a skidding stop in front of Rio.
Rio grinned at his breathless, smiling, bright-eyed face.
“Hey, little dude!”
Before she had even finished her greeting, much less had had time to appreciate the apron saying ‘the world’s best chef’ wrapped around Nicky’s body that made him look even more adorable, Nicky had already grabbed a hold of one of her hands and begun to drag her over to the dining table.
Rio stumbled along behind him, marveling at the strength such a little being could produce.
“Sit, please,” Nicky said earnestly once they’d reached the table, letting go of Rio’s hand and pulling out the chair next to them.
Flabbergasted at whatever the hell was going on, Rio was too stunned to do anything but comply.
When she sat down, she noticed that the table was already set with three sets of plates, glasses and cups. One bowl filled with scrambled eggs, and one filled with freshly cut fruit salad, a plate with crispy fried bacon on it, and a carafe filled with what Rio assumed to be orange juice were sitting in the middle of the table.
Everything looked and smelled delicious, and Rio’s stomach let out a small growl at the sight in front of her.
The sound of a quiet chuckle next to her startled Rio and made her turn around, coming face to face with Agatha as she did so.
(Well, more like face to belly, considering Agatha was standing next to the chair she was sitting on.)
When Rio looked up and their eyes met, she found a teasing twinkle hidden in the depth of Agatha’s eyes.
The older woman slowly lifted one of her brows and smirked. “Like what you see?”
Rio didn’t know if she meant the breakfast or herself.
But she had to admit that she found both to be stunning.
Agatha maybe a little more so, with her tousled from sleep hair pulled into a messy bun and still dressed in Rio’s hoodie and the sweatpants she had changed into last night before storytime.
The fuzzy socks were also still on her feet.
(Absolutely adorable.)
Not sure how to respond, Rio just nodded dumbly in reply.
Agatha’s smirk only deepened at the sight, and Rio’s eyes trailed after the older woman as she stepped behind Rio. She placed one of her hands on Rio’s shoulder and brought her face down, close to the side of Rio’s head on her opposite side.
“He came up with all of this as a way to thank you for staying for storytime,” Agatha began to whisper into her ear. Her breath tickled Rio’s neck. It made goosebumps erupt all over her skin and a shiver run down her spine. “So, be good and behave.”
Agatha tapped her on the shoulder once, then she was gone.
She’d stepped back again and out of Rio’s space, leaving Rio behind with her breath caught in her lungs and her heart pounding in her chest.
Holy…
Quietly, Rio mentally chastised herself.
This was not the time to get turned on.
Yet Rio couldn’t quite help herself to silently mutter under her still slightly ragged breath. A small trace of indignation in her voice and a frown on her downturned face.
“I’m always good.”
The words weren’t meant to be heard by Agatha but Agatha chuckling once more next to her made Rio look at the older woman again, and Rio realized that the older woman had indeed heard her.
She watched as Agatha mustered her, as she let her gaze intensely trail all over Rio. But she didn’t say anything in response, she just raised one of her brows again and smirked.
Rio huffed out a breath in mock annoyance and good-naturedly rolled her eyes at Agatha’s antics.
This woman.
“THE WAFFLES ARE DONE!”, Nicky yelled from the kitchen as he began to make his way over to them, a plate of waffles stacked so high Rio could barely make out his face grabbed tightly in his hands.
--
“Agatha…”, Rio sighed exasperatedly.
“How would this even work?”, she questioned as she ran a hand frustratedly through her hair. “I don’t even have my notebook with me.”
“So?”, Agatha retorted unfazed, leisurely twirling the last dregs of her orange juice around in her glass.
Rio sighed again. She had honestly no idea how she had gotten here.
One moment they’d been having breakfast, all joyfully joking around and everything, and the next instant she’d found herself faced with Agatha suggesting they catch up on the missed meeting of Rio’s poetry project on Thursday, which had been cancelled due to the holiday.
Nicky had just left a few minutes ago to make his way next door for a playdate with Billy and Tommy.
So, it was just Agatha and her now, sitting across from each other at the dining table still covered in the leftovers from their breakfast. The smell of freshly baked waffles was still heavy in the air.
“It just doesn’t work like that.”
Agatha frowned at Rio’s answer.
“How does it work then?”, the older woman asked, genuine interest lacing her words.
“I…”, Rio began, then stopped.
How was she supposed to explain something that she barely understood herself?
Her writing process wasn’t really a process at all. The best way Rio could think about of how to describe it was “…instinctively?”
At the questioning tilt of Agatha’s head, Rio sighed for the third time in as many minutes.
“It’s like the words are just suddenly there. Like, they just appear in my brain, and all I really do is write them down once they do so.”
“That’s why you carry your notebook with you everywhere.”
It wasn’t a question, but Rio responded anyway.
“Yeah.”
Except, this time she hadn’t. Rio had to admit that she was a little embarrassed about the fact that she had forgotten to pack her notebook yesterday before she’d left because her mind had been so all over the place at the prospect of having dinner with Agatha and Nicky.
But what Agatha didn’t know, she couldn’t use to tease Rio. And until Agatha asked, Rio wouldn’t say anything about it.
Humming silently to herself, Agatha seemed loose herself in her thoughts for a moment before her gaze refocused on Rio. “Would you be up for trying something different today?”
Now, it was Rio’s turn to frown. “Different how?”
“What if…”, Agatha started, then paused, slightly leaning forward on her elbows before she continued, “…I give you a word and you write a poem using that word. Right here, right now.”
Rio’s frown deepened. She had to admit that Agatha’s suggestion did pique her interest.
“Use that word how exactly?”
But that didn’t mean she didn’t still have questions.
Agatha only shrugged and leaned back in her chair again. “However you like. As long as it’s a part of the poem.”
Mulling over the idea in her head for a few moments, Rio came to the conclusion that this would actually be a really cool way to broaden her poetry skills and gain more inside into her writing process at the same time.
Which was probably exactly what Agatha had intended and wanted her to do.
Why it had to be at this except moment in time and space, Rio still had no clue about.
But for once she tried not to overthink it and just go with the flow.
To be present in the present.
She also couldn’t deny that Agatha coming up with new ways to challenge her in her creative process was having a certain effect on her.
“Okay.”
The smile that enveloped Agatha’s face at Rio’s acceptance was wide and glowing.
With a flourish, the older woman got up and walked over to the kitchen counter to grab a pen and some paper.
On the way back to her place, Agatha dropped the items onto the table next to Rio, then made her way around the table and dropped back into her chair.
When their eyes met, Rio raised her brows expectantly.
A mischievous smirk grew on Agatha’s face as she got the hint.
“Your word is ‘tattoo’.”
Immediately upon hearing which word Agatha had chosen, lines of verses sprung into Rio’s mind.
Yet, she hesitated.
Could she really write this and show it to Agatha?
Could she really share this with her?
It would be dangerous.
It could most definitely end in disaster.
But it could also be… everything.
Throwing caution to the wind, Rio hastily reached for the pen and paper and began to write, urgency etched into every stroke of the ink.
It took her only a few seconds to finish.
Leaning back, Rio read over the words.
It wasn’t a long poem but it said a lot.
Maybe more than she was ready to say.
Or maybe exactly what she had to and needed say.
Yesterday, Agatha inviting her over for dinner had felt like a dare to Rio.
Today, as Rio pushed the small rectangle of paper with her finished poem across the table toward the older woman, it felt like Rio was handing her own dare to Agatha.
Because just as the meaning of the lily was 'I dare you to love me', the meaning between the lines of Rio’s poem dared Agatha to love her.
To push past all the circumstances currently keeping them apart and to find salvation in each other instead.
Anxiously twisting her hands in her lap, her heart pounding in her chest and her gaze utterly stuck on the enigmatic woman in front of her, Rio watched with bated breath as Agatha’s eyes traveled over the lines she’d penned only a few moments ago.
You are
more than friendship.
You are
more than love.
You are
the definition of forever
tattooed on my soul.
Chapter 10: The First Time You Kissed Me
Summary:
Agatha is weak, and so is Rio.
Notes:
Hello beautiful people!
I swear at this point I'm just never going to finish my thesis. :D
Anyway, I'm going to save my ramblings for the end notes this time, so without further ado, please enjoy! :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Agatha’s eyes widened, then closed as she bowed her head and exhaled heavily through slightly parted lips.
Rio watched it all. Her complete attention solely focused on the older women, on her every minuscule reaction brought forth by the words Rio had written, to figure out what would happen next.
What would Agatha do now that she knew?
Now that Rio had basically handed her her heart, her truth, on a silver platter?
Avoidance wouldn’t work this time.
Nor would denial.
The truth was staring them too plainly right into their faces, gazing fixedly and intently at them with wide open, unflinching eyes. It would be impossible to brush it underneath the fluffy, comfortable, safe rug of just friends again.
Rio’s heartbeat was anxiously thundering inside her chest and her fingertips were twitching with nervous energy where they were resting on the edge of the table.
Agatha’s hands were resting on the table, too, and Rio curiously observed how the older woman balled them into fists.
Then, almost imperceptibly, Agatha shook her head.
Once.
Twice.
After another heavy exhale had forced its way past Agatha’s lips, her eyes opened, her head snapped up and she abruptly stood from her seat.
The noise of the chair clattering to the ground behind Agatha made Rio flinch involuntarily.
Agatha had pushed back too hard, too fast, and the tense stillness that had settled into the room around them after Rio had handed Agatha her poem started to echo with an eagerness that made Rio’s toes curl.
Her eyes never left Agatha though.
With her heart in her mouth, Rio’s gaze followed Agatha as she began to make her way around the table towards Rio in a frantic hurry.
Acting more on instinct than anything else, Rio pushed her chair back from the table, readying herself to get up and face whatever reason Agatha had for coming at her like this head on.
But before she could even make a move to do so, Agatha was already on top of her.
Literally.
Rio gasped as the older woman’s body descended onto her own.
She had no idea how it had happened really. It had all gone bye too quickly for her to grasp.
Yet suddenly Agatha was sitting on her lap. Her arms resting on Rio’s shoulders as she tenderly brushed Rio’s hair out of her face with her hands, tipping Rio’s head back in the process and forcing Rio to look right into her eyes.
Agatha’s gaze was burning into Rio’s with an intensity and hunger that made Rio’s breath catch violently in her lungs.
Her whole body began to shake. And although Agatha didn’t say anything, Rio was sure she could feel it.
Rio tried to take a deep breath. It didn’t work.
That Agatha had her completely caged in didn’t really help either.
Agatha's hands, now buried in Rio’s hair, were lightly scratching along her scalp, sending little shocks of bliss through Rio that almost made her whine out loud from the intensity they carried.
The insides of Agatha’s thighs were pressing into the outsides of Rio’s as Agatha straddled her, confining Rio to her seat, unable to get up even if she wanted to.
(Since Rio didn’t want to get up anyway, she didn’t really care though.)
She was so close.
All Rio could sense and feel and hear and smell and taste was Agatha.
The warmth emanating from her body.
The movements of her fingertips through Rio’s hair.
The quiet, rugged sounds of her breaths as they pushed past her lips.
Sandalwood and lavender and something inherently Agatha mixed with a faint trace of the orange juice that Agatha had had for breakfast.
And inevitability.
Stronger than it had ever been before, Rio could taste it crawling up the back of her throat the longer Agatha kept staring at her.
Rio wasn’t sure she’d be able to swallow it down again this time.
Not when Agatha was so close, she was everywhere.
Thankfully, Rio didn’t have to.
Because in the next instant Agatha pulled.
And Rio let herself be led willingly.
Without hesitation, without doubt, without question, as Agatha crushed her lips onto hers.
Still shocked by the events of the past few seconds, it took Rio a moment to respond.
But when she finally did, it was everything and so much more than she could have ever imagined.
Agatha’s lips were so soft.
So pliant.
So plump.
So perfect as they slotted against Rio’s like the missing piece of a puzzle that she’d been searching for her whole life without even knowing it.
Agatha tasted like orange juice and forever.
And Rio thought inevitability never tasted sweeter, as she brought her arms up to embrace the woman on her lap.
Wrapping her hands around Agatha’s lower back, Rio pulled (just like Agatha had done), her fingers splayed wide at the base of the older woman’s spine.
Their lips were still hungrily pressed together.
Passion burned through each of their movements, through each brush of pale pink skin against pale pink skin, coating their lips with each other’s essence like red-hot paint strokes on a blank-white canvas.
In response to Rio’s pull, Agatha’s back arched.
It brought them even closer.
So close that there was nothing more separating their bodies now than the thin layers of clothing from the hoodies they were both wearing.
Nothing existed for Rio anymore except Agatha.
Not sounds. Not words.
Not sanity. Not reason.
Only Agatha.
And feeling.
Yet, as fierce and furious as they had collided in an explosion of pent-up desire, as soon they slowed down.
The hard, starving press of their lips softened, and previously unfulfilled hunger turned into tentative curious exploration.
A tongue trailed along a bottom lip.
Teeth carefully caught and playfully nipped another one, sucked it just a little bit to soothe the sting before they released it again with a quiet popp.
Heavy breathing filled the air.
A silent whimper escaped someone.
Rio wasn’t sure who of them had produced the noise, and she was way too lost to figure it out.
Too lost in Agatha’s mouth, her lips, the soft nudge of her nose against Rio’s every time she tilted her head to change the angle of their kiss.
Too lost in Agatha’s hands softly brushing, pulling and releasing, brushing, pulling and releasing, Rio’s hair at the back of her head.
Too lost in Agatha’s thighs clenching and unclenching in a sporadic rhythm around her own, causing incomprehensible heat to pool deep in the pit of Rio’s stomach.
Too lost in the sensation of Agatha deepening the kiss and their tongues gently touching each other for the first time.
Too lost in her own moan, quiet and soft, and Agatha as the older woman swallowed it with one of hers.
Needless to say, Rio lost any and all track of time and meaning as well.
Especially as she raked her nails over the worn material of Agatha’s hoodie and down the older woman’s back.
This time, Rio was sure the quiet whimper that reached her ears had come from Agatha.
And fuck, what a pretty noise it’d been.
It made Rio rake her nails down Agatha’s back again, just so she could taste and hear and savor that delicious sound once more.
The intensity between them grew the more, the longer their tongues continued to dance passionately together.
Agatha rocked her hips slowly, deliberately, into Rio, once.
It made a shockwave of pure arousal shoot through Rio’s entire body, and an involuntary moan slipped past her lips. Agatha was only too happy to catch it with her tongue as she pushed it into Rio’s open mouth and playfully stroked it along Rio’s.
Goosebumps erupted all over Rio’s skin.
A hot shiver trailed down her spine, making Rio shudder in Agatha’s arms.
A certain kind of desperation started to infiltrate her body.
A need.
To be closer.
And Rio felt how her actions turned frantic because of it.
How her hands gripped and released, pushed and pulled, at the back of Agatha’s hoodie.
How she surged forward with each stroke of her tongue against Agatha’s, which only resulted in Rio pressing herself so much harder into the woman on top of her because there was nowhere for her to go.
It was driving her insane.
In the best way.
And judging by Agatha’s response, she was right there with Rio.
One of her hands had found its way to the back of Rio’s neck, eagerly urging and pushing Rio’s face as close as possible to hers.
Her back was stuck in a permanently arched position, as if leaving any space between their bodies would be the biggest crime on earth.
Heavy breaths, little whimpers and small moans suffocated the air between them and echoed in a tune of reciprocated want relentlessly in the room around them.
Rio had never experienced a kiss like this.
A kiss so consuming she felt as if she was being devoured alive, yet filling her heart with the tender warmth of unspoken hopes and future promises in the gentlest way possible at the same time.
Yes, it was hot.
Yes, it was needy.
Yes, it was desperate.
But it was also…soft.
Like the petals of a flower that had just begun to bloom.
Like the beginning of something that was meant to last forever.
A sudden shrill ringing noise burst through the edges of Rio’s awareness.
She ignored it.
And so did Agatha.
It didn’t matter.
Nothing mattered.
Except Agatha’s mouth on hers and Agatha’s hand on the back of her neck as it tangled in her hair and tugged, forcing Rio’s head backwards and allowing Agatha to deepen their kiss even more.
To push her tongue farther into Rio’s mouth.
To suck Rio’s bottom lip further into her own.
Fuck.
Rio wasn’t sure how much longer she could take this without combusting. Not to mention that the little control she still possessed was rapidly dwindling in the face of the force that were Agatha’s kisses.
When the shrill ringing permeated the air around them once more, Rio wanted to ignore it again. She hadn’t even realized that it had stopped at some point.
Maybe it was still the same ringing?
Honestly, Rio couldn’t care less where the ringing was coming from or what it was about. She didn’t think she could ever stop kissing Agatha.
Not when they had both finally given in.
Not when it felt this good.
But when Agatha reluctantly detached her lips from Rio’s with a groan and rested her forehead against hers, Rio realized that she might not have a choice in the matter.
Opening her eyes for the first time in what felt like forever, Rio saw that Agatha eyes were still closed.
The older woman’s hands detangled themselves from her hair and gently cupped her face.
As Agatha tried to catch her breath, she stroked her thumbs softly along Rio’s cheekbones.
Rio’s heart melted at the sight.
At the tenderness of the action, and her eyes fell shut once more as a quiet sigh escaped her.
The older woman’s continued ministrations on her face made Rio finally loosen the tight grip that she still had on Agatha’s hoodie, and she slowly wrapped her arms around the older woman’s back in a gentle hug instead.
“I’m sorry,” Agatha whispered before she placed her hands on Rio’s shoulders, stood up and vanished from Rio’s space.
Confusion flooded Rio’s mind as her arms fell uselessly into her now empty lap.
Where was Agatha going?
Then the shrill ringing crept into Rio’s awareness for the third time today and realization hit her.
Right, yes.
The ringing was probably Agatha’s phone. Now that Rio thought about it, and without Agatha on her lap to distract her, it was most definitely Agatha’s phone where the ringing was coming from.
Granted, she had only heard it once before but it was the same ringtone.
So, the conclusion that it was Agatha’s phone that was currently ringing when they were inside Agatha’s house, in her living room/dining room/kitchen, was probably the right one.
At the sound of a hushed voice drifting towards her, Rio blinked her eyes open again.
Agatha was standing at the window of the living room. Her back was facing Rio, and her phone was pressed tightly to her ear as she spoke softly to the person on the other end of the line.
Since Rio couldn’t understand what she was saying, she just sat there and stared at Agatha’s back.
Her hoodie looked rumpled in the way only a really good make out session could rumple a piece of clothing.
A satisfied smirk enveloped Rio’s face at the sight.
It looked perfect.
She couldn’t quite believe that everything that had just happened between her and Agatha had actually happened.
Her brain was still playing catch up after the abrupt ending.
The tingling in her lips and the ache low in her belly though, told Rio that it had all been real.
Agatha had kissed her.
Agatha and her had kissed.
And what a kiss it had been.
Rio bit her lip as the memory of what had happened only moments earlier sprung unbidden into her mind.
She lightly shook her head and exhaled slowly in an effort to compose herself.
This wasn’t the time to get lost in daydreams.
Especially so, because there was also a part of Rio that was currently completely freaking out.
She had no idea what would happen next.
The feeling was eerily similar to how she had felt after she’d handed Agatha her poem.
A familiar kind of Déjà-Vu.
Where would they go from here?
They had kissed, admitting their mutual attraction and possible feelings for each other, but now what?
Agatha was still her professor.
Rio was still her student.
They couldn’t just date, could they?
Gods, Rio really didn’t think this one through, did she?
As her anxiety suddenly skyrocketed, Rio tore her gaze away from Agatha’s back and roughly ran a hand through her hair to calm herself down.
Trailing her eyes through the room, looking for something, anything, to distract herself from her sudden inner turmoil, Rio’s eyes fell on the still set breakfast table next to her.
Yes, that could work.
Making up her mind on the spot, Rio got up and quickly began to clean up the mess from their meal earlier.
First, she put all the leftovers away. Then she began to sort out the dishes. She got so lost in her work that she completely lost track of her surroundings, focusing only on the next thing she had to do to make the dining and kitchen area look presentable again.
“Hey.”
Although the voice that suddenly appeared next to her spoke softly, it startled Rio so much that she almost dropped the plate she was about to put into the dishwasher.
When her head snapped up, her eyes immediately fell on Agatha who was leisurely leaning on the counter beside her, her arms crossed loosely in front of her chest.
“Shit, you scared me,” Rio said, as she brought her free hand up to massage the spot on her chest above the frightened pounding of her heart that Agatha’s sudden appearance had caused.
Agatha didn’t reply. She only looked at Rio with a small, gentle smile etched onto her face.
Her eyes sparkled with something Rio couldn’t quite distinguish.
She had never seen Agatha look at her so openly, so freely, so longingly, Rio realized with another start.
But instead of making her heart pound from fear, this time it made her heart feel all warm and fuzzy.
It led Rio to smile back at the older woman just as gently.
The longer Agatha looked at her like this, the more Rio’s anxiety dissipated.
She wished Agatha would always look at her this way.
It would make things so much clearer for Rio.
Because this look showed Rio that Agatha was just as affected by whatever it was between them as Rio was.
Sure, Rio had also felt it in the way Agatha had kissed her, in the way she had touched her.
But it was still nice to also get confirmation this way, to witness the effect she had on Agatha firsthand and with her own two eyes.
Just as Rio leaned down again to finally put the plate that she was still holding into the dishwasher, Agatha spoke again.
“That was Jen on the phone by the way. I somehow completely forgot that I promised her to help her re-organize her cosmetic studio today.”
After putting the plate in its designated place, Rio straightened just in time to see Agatha roll her eyes at herself, a slight blush beginning to bloom on her cheeks.
Was Agatha flustered?
Entranced, Rio watched as Agatha chuckled self-deprecatingly and flicked her eyes to the floor for a moment before her gaze found Rio’s once more.
Oh yeah, Agatha was most definitely flustered.
Internally, Rio smirked.
This was just too good.
For once she wasn’t the one to lose her footing.
Outwardly, she kept her smile in place and just raised her eyebrows in response as a sign for Agatha to keep going. She could feel that the older woman had more to say.
“So, as I’m already late and as Jen kept insisting that I make my way there as soon as possible, I have to go and get ready to leave,” Agatha spoke, her fingers almost nervously tapping on her arm where she had them wrapped around her bicep.
Rio narrowed her eyes at the sight. Why would Agatha be nervous?
The older woman hesitated slightly before she continued, “I can drop you off at your place on my way?”
Oh.
Rio closed the dishwasher and leaned against the counter opposite Agatha, mirroring her position.
She let her eyes trail carefully over the woman standing in front of her.
Agatha’s usually so confident façade was completely gone. Instead, she just looked utterly vulnerable, wrenched open in a way Rio had never seen before.
It made her breath hitch.
It made Rio want to reach out, to pull Agatha forward, and to wrap her up in her arms.
To care for her.
To hold her.
To love her.
Rio swallowed at the thoughts rushing through her mind.
Who would have thought this would ever become a real possibility?
“Sure,” Rio smiled at Agatha.
She kept her expression just as open, just as vulnerable. And although she wasn’t sure what Agatha found when her eyes traveled all over Rio’s face, whatever it was, was apparently enough to make the tension bleed from the older woman’s body within a few seconds.
Rio watched as Agatha pushed off the counter and began to make her way toward the staircase at the opposite side of the downstairs area.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes. Feel free to make yourself comfortable,” she threw over her shoulder at Rio, accompanied by a teasing smile and a playful wink.
Rio didn’t know what came over her.
Maybe it was the confidence that had made its home within Agatha once more.
Maybe it was the sway of her hips that Rio could swear was more pronounced than she’d ever seen it, as she watched Agatha walk away.
Maybe it was some lingering aftereffects of their kiss.
Maybe it was just Rio’s utter devotion and desire to forever be close to Agatha.
Whatever it was, it made Rio stride quickly after the older woman and catch Agatha’s wrist with her hand just as she was about to reach the bottom of the stairs.
Rio spun Agatha towards her, forcing her to turn around and face Rio again.
Effectively stopping her from spinning too far around, Rio’s other hand caught Agatha’s hip only a fraction later.
Putting pressure on both of her hands, Rio steered Agatha backwards until the older woman’s back hit the wall next to the staircase with a soft thud, pinning her into place.
Surprised, Agatha’s eyes widened, and her breath hitched at the compromising position she suddenly found herself in.
A lazy smirk stretched across Rio’s face at the sight.
“Rio, what are you d-“
“Shhh,” Rio interrupted Agatha’s breathless whisper, her lazy smirk turning into a devilish grin.
It was her turn now.
Rio removed her hand from Agatha’s hip and grabbed Agatha’s other wrist that was just hanging next to her body while, at the same time, she pushed her hips forward.
Until she was pinning Agatha against the wall solely with her hips.
The way the older woman’s pupils dilated at Rio’s action was delicious.
Never breaking eye contact, Rio slowly, oh so slowly, dragged Agatha’s wrists upwards along the wall beside her, the entire length of her body pushing more and more into Agatha’s the farther she went.
When her arms finally came to a stop atop Agatha’s head, the complete front of her body was pressed against Agatha.
The contact felt exhilarating, every point of connection sending thousands of sparks through Rio’s being so intense that they made her shiver with need.
It made a blast of desire explode low in her belly.
Considering Agatha’s labored breathing, her half-lidded eyes and slightly parted lips, the same was probably also happening to her.
The tension between them was palpable.
The suspense of expectation that hung in the air between them almost stretched to its breaking point.
But Rio didn’t move.
Not yet.
She just kept pinning Agatha in place, imprinting the utterly stunning image in front of her into her memory.
Agatha was so fucking beautiful.
Her ocean blue eyes were almost completely black.
She was panting, blushing, yearning.
So fucking perfect.
Anticipation burned in the air, and then blew up in a surge of red-hot flames, when Rio finally closed the last remaining gap between them.
She kissed Agatha hard and heavy, the desperate tension surrounding them snapping in a fiery clash of their tongues.
It was messy and wet and so fucking hot.
Rio couldn’t get enough of it.
And neither could Agatha, if the way she was frantically pushing all of herself into Rio was anything to go by.
Interlocking their fingers, Rio pushed Agatha’s hands even harder into the wall above their heads, arching her whole body even deeper into Agatha’s in the process.
Abruptly, an involuntary gasp breaking free, Agatha wrenched her lips away from Rio’s.
And as Agatha threw her head back against the wall to catch her breath and steady her heaving chest, a needy moan escaped her still open mouth.
“Fuck,” she muttered, panting heavily, eyes closed, face flushed.
Transfixed, completely fascinated by the effect she had on the woman in front of her, Rio just observed Agatha, taking everything in.
But when the older woman opened her eyes again a few moments later, Rio barely had any time to realize how fucked she was before Agatha had suddenly switched their positions.
This time, as Rio’s back hit the wall, it was her turn to widen her eyes and to hitch her breath as Agatha pinned Rio in place with an almost bruising grip on her hips.
Rio closed her eyes, trying to catch the breath back that had so suddenly escaped her.
She was completely at Agatha’s mercy now.
Again.
And it was…fuck.
Rio definitely needed a cold shower and a new pair of panties when she got home.
She felt Agatha lean forward a second later, felt the older woman’s hot breath caress the shell of her ear.
The shiver running down Rio’s spine in response was drenched in want.
“You’re always good, huh?”
The words were whispered right into Rio’s ear, soaked in Agatha’s signature smirk and a playfully raised eyebrow.
Their intention was most likely to kill Rio on the spot.
Because, fuck, Agatha was throwing that back at her now?
But before Rio could even think of any way to reply, Agatha drew back, quickly pecked her on the lips once and disappeared up the stairs.
Nothing more than the echo of a quiet, mischievous laugh remained to keep Rio company.
For the second time, Rio had been left behind, panting and blushing, wrecked in the best way possible, and she wasn’t even mad about it.
Still, it took Rio longer than she liked to admit to detach herself from the wall and make her way towards the kitchen once more.
Because what else was she supposed to do?
She needed a distraction.
Desperately.
This time, it wasn’t because she was anxious though.
No, this time, it was because every fiber of her being ached to follow Agatha up the stairs, into her bedroom and onto her bed, and to show Agatha exactly just how good she could be.
Fuck.
She really needed to get a grip on herself.
Agatha was already late as it was.
When Rio walked past the table in the dining area, her eyes immediately fell onto the only two items left on it, effectively pulling her out of her head.
The small rectangular piece of paper Rio had written her poem on earlier that was lying on Agatha’s side, and the pen that Agatha had given her lying on her own side.
At first, she didn’t pay much attention to them. But then, as an idea suddenly popped into her mind, Rio paused.
Abruptly, she turned around and walked back to the table that she had just made her way past.
She sat down in her chair, grabbed the pen and then reached for the piece of paper.
Carefully she turned the piece of paper around, until the opposite side stared back at her.
It was still blank.
Biting her lip to keep herself from smiling like an idiot, Rio uncapped the pen and began to write.
The words flowed freely and easily.
the first time you kissed me
i forgot how to breathe
my whole body was shaking
from the feeling of your lips
– on mine
our tongues danced like flames
between our open mouths
and when you pulled back
i pulled you back around
– back in
this time, i kissed you first
already addicted to your taste
i couldn’t (wouldn’t) let this moment pass
when you looked so pretty gasping
– for breath
Contently smirking at the no longer blank piece of paper, Rio leaned back in her chair. She would leave this here as a little present for Agatha to find once she got back from Jen’s.
--
After Agatha had dropped her off at her apartment, Rio had only toed off her shoes and then she had thrown herself onto her sofa.
She had stayed there ever since.
It was slowly getting dark outside now.
But Rio didn’t care.
It had taken a while but the reality of what had happened today had begun to settle into her consciousness at last.
Agatha and she had really kissed.
It had actually happened.
A part of Rio still couldn’t quite believe it, and she kept tracing her fingertips along her lips to revel in the tenderness Agatha’s bruising kisses had left behind.
To remind herself that the way they had given into each other had, in fact, happened.
Sighing happily, Rio let herself sink deeper into the soft cushions of her couch as her mind began to wander back to when Agatha had driven her home.
The drive to her place had been uneventful and had mostly been filled with small talk about Jen’s studio or the quiet sound of whatever song was playing on the radio of Agatha’s car at the time.
There had been a moment towards the end though, when Agatha had idled in front of Rio’s apartment complex.
Rio had been reluctant to leave.
And Agatha had seemed to share Rio’s sentiment.
The tension between them had skyrocketed again as they had just kept sitting in Agatha’s car in silence.
Neither knowing, nor prepared for or how to say goodbye.
It had been then that Agatha’s hand had moved towards Rio’s.
Rio swore she had been able to not just feel but actually see the little bolts of lightning sizzling between their fingertips as Agatha’s hand had reached for yet had never quite touched hers.
Instead, the older woman had left her fingers hovering in the air above Rio’s, which had only intensified the sensation, before she had let her hand fall back into her lap.
Bearing witness to Agatha being so unsure had almost broken Rio’s heart.
So, to assure Agatha (and maybe also a little bit herself), Rio had reached across the center console, had taken hold of Agatha’s hand and had gently intertwined their fingers.
Where she had found the courage to do so, Rio had no idea.
There had just suddenly been this overwhelming need inside of her to make Agatha feel safe.
So, that was what she had done.
Holding Agatha’s hand had made little sparks of electricity zap excitedly through her bloodstream.
Rio had liked the feeling.
Somehow, it had also felt incredibly intimate as she had squeezed Agatha’s hand reassuringly and had directed a tender smile at the older woman.
Rio had only let go of Agatha’s hand once Agatha had squeezed back and mirrored Rio’s smile.
A sudden vibration next to her forced Rio to abandon her musings.
Squinting at the screen of her phone after she’d picked it up from the couch, she saw that Agatha had just texted her.
Rio’s heart immediately sped up upon seeing the notification.
Had Agatha found her little present?
Or was there another reason she was texting Rio?
Only one way to find out, Rio thought and pressed her thumb onto the screen.
When Rio’s gaze fell onto the words illuminated on her phone that made up Agatha’s message, a smile immediately spread across her face and Rio had to bite down on her bottom lip to keep it from becoming too big.
She read Agatha’s text over and over again, miserably failing to keep her grin at bay, even with her lip caught between her teeth, as her heartbeat jumped merrily around inside her chest.
A.H. (5:12pm): You looked prettier. ;)
Notes:
I hope these 5k of them almost only kissing made up for the roughly 46k you had to make it through to get here!
We're not quite done with the slowburn yet, but hey they finally kissed! So that's at least something, right? :)
Also, as you might have or might not have noticed I have started to reply to the comments of the last few chapters. Why now you might wonder? I honestly have no idea lol. It was a spur of the moment decision and then somehow snowballed, and now I kind of like it?
Anyway, if you have any burning questions you want ask drop them in the comments and I will do my best to answer them!
Take care and stay safe whereever you are!
Until next time! :)
Pages Navigation
harki31 on Chapter 1 Thu 07 Nov 2024 06:22PM UTC
Comment Actions
IcyHeart on Chapter 1 Thu 07 Nov 2024 07:00PM UTC
Comment Actions
fantasticvoidnerdshoe on Chapter 1 Thu 07 Nov 2024 07:44PM UTC
Comment Actions
FantasyLover_444 on Chapter 1 Thu 07 Nov 2024 08:06PM UTC
Comment Actions
sunny_wn on Chapter 1 Thu 07 Nov 2024 08:23PM UTC
Comment Actions
CharliWrites on Chapter 1 Thu 07 Nov 2024 09:47PM UTC
Comment Actions
ksy_4 on Chapter 1 Fri 08 Nov 2024 01:23PM UTC
Comment Actions
M_Q on Chapter 1 Sat 09 Nov 2024 12:29AM UTC
Last Edited Sat 09 Nov 2024 12:29AM UTC
Comment Actions
KissyKissyWitches on Chapter 1 Wed 13 Nov 2024 12:04PM UTC
Comment Actions
Ookokkae on Chapter 1 Mon 18 Nov 2024 03:32PM UTC
Comment Actions
Mayahenry62 on Chapter 1 Wed 13 Aug 2025 10:42PM UTC
Comment Actions
a_dreamer_dreams_everyday on Chapter 1 Wed 20 Aug 2025 06:38PM UTC
Comment Actions
Swan1664 on Chapter 2 Fri 08 Nov 2024 08:55PM UTC
Comment Actions
fantasticvoidnerdshoe on Chapter 2 Fri 08 Nov 2024 09:05PM UTC
Comment Actions
hpprofessor1 on Chapter 2 Fri 08 Nov 2024 09:39PM UTC
Comment Actions
CharliWrites on Chapter 2 Fri 08 Nov 2024 10:43PM UTC
Comment Actions
IcyHeart on Chapter 2 Fri 08 Nov 2024 11:29PM UTC
Comment Actions
M_Q on Chapter 2 Sat 09 Nov 2024 12:39AM UTC
Comment Actions
daerbeihsib on Chapter 2 Sun 10 Nov 2024 10:34PM UTC
Comment Actions
hpprofessor1 on Chapter 3 Sun 10 Nov 2024 02:15PM UTC
Comment Actions
Sister_Beatrice on Chapter 3 Sun 10 Nov 2024 02:36PM UTC
Comment Actions
Pages Navigation