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Tom and Tord had been on peculiar terms recently. They hadn’t fought as much. Tord could tell Edd was suspicious of them, but he chose not to think about it.
Tord hadn’t anticipated the two of them to be… well, not fighting. He thought they’d fight for the rest of their lives. Or until one of the two moved out again. Tord had only recently moved back in with the group, but he had already made good terms with Edd and Matt, meanwhile still fighting with Tom.
Tord didn’t know why he got a kick out of aggravating Tom, but never anyone else. He chose not to think about it much, though. But one night, he found himself confronted with the ‘why’ a bit more directly than he’d wanted.
— — —
The orange light from the lamp made the old scars on Tord’s arms practically invisible. He was glad for this, as it meant he could wear short sleeves while he worked without worry. It also meant if anyone barged into his room, though unlikely at this time of night, they wouldn’t know he had recently relapsed. Even his recent scars looked old in this light. Though, only Edd knew he used to cut, he still didn’t want him knowing he’d relapsed. Much less did he want the rest of the house to find out.
For some reason, he really didn’t want Tom to find out. Something about the potential disappointment or even pity Tom might feel for Tord made him even more against the idea than that of anyone else finding out.
He worked quietly, making sure no sound he made could be heard from outside his room. He focused intensely, sure that he could finish this by dawn and get in a nap before anyone knew he hadn’t slept.
That was until someone knocked on the door.
Tord chose to stay quiet, hoping they’d think he’s asleep.
But then, they knocked again.
…And again.
Tord finally got up, turning off the lamp and walking to the door. Upon opening it, he met eyes with Tom. Hva faen?
“Knew you were awake.” Tom spoke plainly. Tord huffed.
“And? Why the fuck are you bothering me at this hour?” Tord crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. Tom looked him up and down.
“Tord?” Tom spoke.
“What.” The other replied harshly.
“What happened to your arm?” Tord froze. What? Had he left the bandage on?
Tord glanced down. He hadn’t left the bandage on, but one of his nastier cuts was a lot more visible than he’d anticipated it’d be. Faen.
“Oh, uh, I accidentally cut my arm on something while working.” Tord did his best to sound calm, but it was obvious he was anxious.
“How long has this been going on?” Tom asked softly. Tord didn’t respond, instead simply looking down at nothing. He’d forgotten how well Tom could see in the dark. He could probably see every scar.
“Tord… Is everything okay?”
“…”
“Tord…” Tom gently cupped his face, wiping away the tears that formed in Tord’s eyes. Tord leaned into the touch, staying quiet. Tom sighed. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Tord shook his head. Tom nodded. “Okay. Do you want any company?” Tord thought for a moment. Then nodded, moving over for Tom to come inside the room.
Tom walked in, making his way to Tord’s bed and sitting down. He held out an arm, inviting Tord to sit down. Tord walked quietly, the sound of his soft steps filling the room. He sat beside Tom, leaning his head on the shoulder of the man beside him.
Tom rested his hand gently on Tord’s. Tord let their fingers intertwine. He wasn’t one to talk about his problems. Much less feelings in general. He tended to push everything down as much as possible. And when he couldn’t, he’d chain-smoke in the backyard, forcing all thoughts away and repeat the loop. Repress, remember, chain-smoke. It was normal. Almost too normal.
Sometimes he’d catch Tom out in the back drinking, so he’d go up to his room and smoke from there instead. But then Tom invited him down one night. The two just sat quietly in each other’s company while using their respective coping mechanisms. That had been the night that stopped them from fighting as much. In Tord’s mind, they gained a mutual respect for each other. He wasn’t sure that Tom thought the same, but it didn’t matter much then.
Though, now it did. Tom’s sudden willingness to sit with Tord in silence while he cried seemed to confirm the ‘mutual respect’ thing. Tord wasn’t sure what to do. He was almost expecting Tom to get mad at him for intertwining their fingers. But he didn’t. For some reason, that made him feel… weird. But in a good way.
After a while of sitting. Tom looked over at Tord. Tord didn’t raise his gaze from the floor.
“Hey, Tord?” Tom’s voice was low. Something about it was comforting to Tord.
“Mm?”
“Do you… need anything? Water, food… a cigar? Maybe a drink?” Tord shook his head. Though, the thought of a drink or smoke didn’t sound too bad. Tom sighed, giving Tord’s hand a gentle squeeze.
They stayed like that for a while, until Tom noticed bits of blood pooling out from where Tord had anxiously picked at the scars and scabs on his arm. Tom grabbed Tord’s free hand, now holding one in each hand. Tord looked up at him. Tom simply held his hands, helping Tord up and guiding him to the bathroom, where the first aid kid was. Tord, confused, followed quietly.
When they made it to the bathroom, Tom let go of Tord’s hands, grabbing the first aid kit. He carefully cleaned and wrapped Tord’s arm in a gauze bandage. Tord was… shocked, to say the least. He’d never had anyone care enough to take care of his wounds. But the biggest shock of all came from after. Tom, anxious, wasn’t sure that his idea would go over well, but he wanted to try. He kissed Tord’s forehead and pulled him into a hug. Tord took a moment to process before he hugged back.
The two hugged silently for a few moments. But eventually, Tom let go. Tord was upset by this, but didn’t want to show it. The two walked back to Tord’s room silently. Tord would’ve preferred to keep working, but Tom kept him firmly on the bed, trapped in another, longer, hug. Tord felt… comfortable. More comfortable than ever before. And then the hug was over. Tom was getting uncomfortable from the angle they were hugging at, so he let go. This time, he pulled Tord onto his lap and hugged him. Tord froze again, for just a second, but hugged back.
The sun began to shine through the window in Tord’s room. Tom, knowing the others would be awake soon, pulled away, getting ready to leave. Tom let his arms rest around Tord’s waist for a little longer. Upon seeing that Tord’s face had a gentle pink hue, he smiled.
Tord smiled back.
They sat there for a while longer, until someone knocked on the door.
“Tord?” Edd’s voice came through. “Have you seen Tom? I went to wake him up and he was gone.”
Tord got up, calling back to Edd. “Yeah, he’s in here.” Tord grabbed his hoodie, putting it on swiftly. “Caught me up late working, so he kept me company until I finished my project.” Tord walked over to the door, opening it a smidge to look at Edd. “He wanted to make sure I actually followed through on my promise to sleep after I finished.” Tom stood up and walked over to the door. Tord moved over, opening the door wider to make room for the both of them.
“Need something, Edd?” Tom, convincingly, fake yawned and stretched, trying to make it seem like he’d just woken up.
Edd looked at the both of them suspiciously. Tord yawned and rubbed his eye, suddenly feeling tired after staying up all night. Eventually, after a bit more conversation, Edd nodded, satisfied, and left the two to sleep. Tord was the first to crash on the bed. Tom followed suit quickly. The door was still cracked open, but neither cared. Somehow, in his dazed, half-asleep state, Tord found himself nuzzling his head into Tom’s chest. Tom then wrapped an arm around Tord, using the other to hold Tord’s hand. The two laid like that for some time, slowly drifting off to sleep.
— — —
By the time Tord woke up, the clock was just about to hit ten, meaning he’d gotten less than five full hours of sleep. Fucking fantastic. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel tired, so he wasn’t able to easily fall back asleep. He got up and headed downstairs.
“Up already?” Edd asked, concern in his voice. Tord simply nodded in reply, taking a seat beside Edd at the table. Edd offered his leftover bacon. Tord begrudgingly complied and took some, knowing Edd would be upset if he denied.
“So,” Edd began, taking a piece of bacon for himself. “Tom, huh?”
Tord froze, feeling his face heat up slightly. “Edd, it’s not like that-” Edd simply shrugged.
“I’m just saying, you keep looking in his direction when you think no one’s looking, you stopped aggravating him as much, and now he’s keeping you company while you work? Seems like a secret relationship to me.” Edd teased. Tord scoffed, fighting against the warmth that filled his chest at the thought of Tom.
“Like I’d date him. We’re enemies, nothing more.” Tord muttered. Though something in him felt sad about that declaration. Edd looked at him for a moment, then sighed.
“If that’s what you say. But if you feel like there’s something more, go for it. You may not realize it, but Tom doesn’t hate you as much as he says he does.” Tord was silent, not sure what to say to that. He knew Tom didn’t hate him, that was evident from a few hours before. But, there’s no way in hell any feelings were mutual. Maybe the respect they’d gained after their night outside together, but nothing else. There wasn’t anything there. There never could be.
— — —
Tom woke up around 3 pm. Groggily, he joined Edd, Tord, and Matt on the couch, where they were watching a random reality TV show. Nobody seemed to be paying any attention to it, save for Matt. And even he seemed bored by it. The only available spot was beside Tord, so he reluctantly made himself comfortable beside the man. Nobody talked as the hours passed. Tord was on his laptop, Edd was on his phone, and Tom and Matt watched the TV quietly.
That’s when Edd accidentally hit Tord’s arm when he dropped his phone and Tord hissed in pain. Between Tom knowing about Tord’s relapse and Edd knowing Tord’s history, both immediately reacted and made sure Tord was okay. Tord insisted he was fine, but Edd and Tom wanted to check to make sure, with Tom wanting to rewrap the wounds, this time with ointment, to make sure it didn’t hurt as much if that happened again. Tord refused both.
Reluctantly, they both let up and left Tord alone. When it began getting dark outside, Matt retreated to his room for bed. With just the three of them there, Edd and Tom, both not knowing the other knew, tried waiting the other out, but ended up going nowhere. Tord, sighing, caved and pulled up his sleeve.
Edd gasped while Tom ran to the kitchen to grab scissors to cut the bandage off. Tord waited patiently, while Edd waited anxiously. When Tom returned and cut the bandage off, careful not to hurt Tord, Edd inspected Tord’s arm carefully, with Tom looking more frantically.
When both came to the conclusion that Tord was fine, Tord tried rolling his sleeve back down, but Tom stopped him, going to bathroom to retrieve pain-relief ointment, as well as the first-aid kit, to ensure that Tord wasn’t in pain. Edd also went to the kitchen to grab an ice pack and a rag, to make sure any fever the wounds may have was taken care of. Tord wasn’t fond of them trying to play doctor on him, but he knew Edd would be upset of he refused, and Tom… somehow, he was finding it harder to say ‘no’ to Tom when he was worried.
Tom knew why he was worried. But he wasn’t ready to say it. He’d felt it for a while, but only after their night in the backyard did he really understand how he felt. And even then, he wasn’t sure that Tord actually felt the same. Tord easily could’ve been using Tom for comfort when he was feeling bad. There was no confirmation that he actually felt anything. But if Tord was letting Tom take care of him, Tom didn’t care whether he felt the same. Having some illusion of what he wanted was enough for him, especially knowing he may never have it for real.
Tord really felt like this was a bit much. The ointment, he could get behind, but wrapping the wounds and putting an ice pack? It felt unnecessary. But nonetheless, he let the two idiots try to take care of him.
Guess he’d just have to find a more hidden spot next time.
The thought passed through Tord’s head like poison. He tried to push it down, but it didn’t want to budge. The two seemed to notice the shift in Tord, as they immediately tried finding ways to entertain and distract him. Tord tried his best to enjoy what they were doing for him, but he couldn’t keep his mind off it. He needed something hands-on to distract him. Something that would keep both his mind and hands busy. Really, he just wanted to finish his latest project. He wasn’t sure that Edd or Tom would let him stay up to do that this time, though.
The two seemed to notice their efforts weren’t working and shared a glance.
“Everything okay, Tord?” Edd asked, concern lacing his voice and face.
“Mhm. Just tired.” Tord lied. Edd and Tom didn’t believe it, but didn’t push.
“Maybe… I can keep you company again tonight? Just to make sure you get some sleep?” Tom asked hesitantly. Tord wasn’t sure why the thought made his stomach feel light, but he nodded anyway.
Edd smiled, glad to know his friends were looking out for each other. He wished them both goodnight as Tom walked Tord up the stairs.
— — —
Tom sat on the edge of Tord’s bed, Tord in his lap, hugging him. Tom’s arms rested gently around Tord’s waist. He wanted to say it, to admit how he felt, but something stopped him.
Tord felt Tom’s breath on his neck. He wished he could stay like this forever. He wished to admit his feelings, but felt he’d come off too strong. Maybe he could…
Tord raised his head from Tom’s shoulder. He looked the other in the eyes for just a moment, before he realized how much harder that made it for him to do this.
Tord took in a deep breath, breathing out slowly and cautiously. He leaned in carefully, trying to test the waters to see if Tom would pull away. Tord heard Tom’s breath hitch slightly, but he didn’t pull away. Tord took that as confirmation to learn in further. When Tom still didn’t pull away, Tord closed the gap between them, gently pressing his lips against Tom’s.
Tom took in the moment before leaning into the kiss. Tord moved his arm to the back of Tom’s neck, gently pressing him further into the kiss. Neither pulled away for what felt like an eternity, simply breathing in the other’s presence. When Tord finally pulled away, both their faces had a gentle pink spread across their cheeks.
Tom immediately looked away. Tord followed suit. The sat there for a while. Then a knock came at the door, pushing it open slightly to reveal Edd, smirking at them.
“So?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Tom retorted quickly at the same time Tord said, “Faen ta deg.”
Edd laughed at them. Both got redder in the face, but refused to move away.
“Well, I’ll let you two enjoy your moment.” Edd closed the door as Tom and Tord shot back a “fuck off” in two different languages.
Both were still after the door closed. The room was silent and tense. Tord was the first to make a move, choosing to lay his head on Tom’s shoulder again, too anxious to try and progress further from their simple affection. Tom rubbed circles on Tord’s back, not wanting to make the other uncomfortable by trying to engage in anything more intimate.
Eventually, Tord drifted off in Tom’s arms, and Tom laid them both down, falling asleep soon after.
— — —
Slowly but surely, the two grew closer as time went on. Matt and Edd giggled to themselves about all sorts of things, but now about Tom and Tord and their awkward relationship more than anything. By the end of the week, they’d caught more than enough footage for blackmail on the two than they ever thought they’d get. From simple brushes of the hand that left the two sitting there awkwardly for a minute, to the hugs and kisses they shared when they thought they were alone.
One day, Tord found himself walking down the stairs with Tom, only to find Edd and Matt cuddling on the couch. He immediately took a photo and left to his room to add it to his blackmail folder on his laptop.
Tom, not wanting to interrupt them, walked quietly to the kitchen and grabbed a quick few snacks, heading back up to his room, where he found Tord, sitting on his bed already.
The two hung out quietly, not even exchanging glances. Tord worked on some blueprints while Tom played his bass. They stayed in their respective bubbles.
This time, Matt caught them in the room, tension thick as they both tried to focus on their own projects while wanting more, and teased them. Tord, not paying full attention, shot back with teases about Matt and Edd. Tom laughed as Matt got flustered.
Eventually, all four housemates hung out in the room, working on their respective hobbies and enjoying each other’s company. If Tom sat a little closer to Tord than necessary, neither mentioned it. If Edd kept letting his hand brush against Matt’s as he drew, Matt didn’t complain.
That night, they had their first sleepover in years. Everyone in one room, huddled close around Tord’s laptop as they watched a movie on it. Nobody mentioned the way Tord rested his head on Tom’s shoulder, or his hand on Tom’s thigh. Neither did they mention Edd’s head on Matt’s chest, or their fingers intertwined. That night, each duo made a quiet but strong confession to their other half. The “I love you”’s they shared left each person’s head fuzzy and heart full of wonder for the life ahead of them.
— — —
Tord sat in the passenger seat, Tom driving. It’d been a few weeks since their first kiss and they’d finally adopted the label of ‘dating’. Tom drove slowly through the backroads of the town, knowing every turn and curve like he’d been there a thousand times. Tord wondered if he had. Tom had a hand resting on Tord’s thigh as he drove. Tord had his hand placed on top of Tom’s. Neither said a word about it, simply intertwined their fingers and enjoying the drive. Finally, Tom stopped the car. The two sat for a minute, enjoying the view of the secluded spot. They could see the snow-covered horizon from here. It was beautiful. Tord got out of the car first, taking a seat on the ground in front. Tom followed suit, sitting beside Tord. Their fingers intertwined in the snow.
Tom moved his hand to Tord’s thigh. Tord smiled. They’d never had any truly intimate moments since they started officially dating. But after some time, they couldn’t help but want some time to themselves. It was mid-November, Edd and Matt were asleep, and the sun was just beginning to shine. Tom had left a note on the kitchen table for the other two, letting them know where they’d gone, even though it didn’t have an actual location and really just said they were out driving. Tom figured it was good enough for something written at 3 in the morning, and Tord didn’t care either way. He liked the thrill of sneaking off without telling anyone where he was going, waiting to see if he could be back before anyone found out.
They’d driven around for a few hours before Tom finally took them to their current spot. Neither were properly dressed for the cold. They’d simply thrown on some warm clothes and called it a day. They hadn’t planned to get out of the car, but now they were sitting in the snow, and Tord couldn’t help looking at Tom. The sun hit all his features just right, making him more beautiful than ever before. Tord couldn’t help but admire him, subconsciously feeling self-conscious about his own flaws, things he was sure never looked good. Especially the scars on his arms.
Tom seemed to notice Tord’s softened, and slightly sad, expression. He looked over at the taller with slight concern. After realizing he’d been staring, Tord turned away, face flushing red. Tom smiled, kissing Tord on the cheek and resting his head on Tord’s shoulder. Tord’s face grew redder, a smile finding its way on his face.
Neither put much thought into the next few minutes. They just let themselves loose. Tord’s hand found its way up Tom’s chest, with Tom’s hand resting on the back of Tord’s neck. A gentle wind rand through both their hairs, making them shiver into their kiss. They found their way into the backseat of the car, engine still on and heat running. Tom sat on the seats, Tord in his lap. The world forgotten around them, they put their phones on mute and spent the rest of sunrise finding new ways to explore each other and make the other happy.
By the time the sun was up, they both had missed calls from Edd. Neither said anything about the previous events, simply smiling at each other like idiots. For once, Tord was thankful that Tom always had his car prepped for anything and everything. Tom cooled off in the snow while Tord desperately tried to fix his hair in the car mirror. It wasn’t going very well. When they were finally on the road again, Tom had called Edd back, making sure he knew they were okay. Tord tried his best to keep his idiotic smile to himself, deep in thought about what had just gone down. For some reason, it made him stupidly happy. The ride home was relatively quiet compared to moments before. Tord muttered a joke about their current relationship. Tom snickered and responded with one of his own. That made Tord shoot back with another of his own.
Once they were home, The car was filled with barking laughter as the duo stuttered out jokes back and forth between their laughs. Edd met them outside, confused by the commotion. Matt joined them shortly after, commenting on how much of a mess they both looked. Tom looked at Tord and shot out another joke, making the other double over in laughter. Edd and Matt were very confused but laughed along anyway.
The day passed pretty fast after that, with Tord and Tom getting separate showers before watching TV on the couch together. Edd and Matt joined them not too long after. Tord breathed in the scent of Tom as they sat together on the couch, Tord’s arms wrapped around Tom’s waist. He was paying more attention to the things he wanted to do in his head than to the actual TV. If it hadn’t been for Edd and Matt, he’d have it his way, finishing what they had started in the car.
That night, neither Tom nor Tord got any sleep. They were lucky Edd and Matt had plans to watch movies at the cinema that night, or they’d probably be caught in the middle of their reckless love. By the morning, Tord was left craving more, but too tired to do anything more. Tom, on the other hand, was perfectly satisfied. Tord hated his high sex-drive, but chose not to think about it too much. Tom was happy, and that’s what really mattered.
— — —
Weeks passed, and the two grew more comfortable showing their affection for one another. They still stuck to simple hand-holding in public, neither comfortable with much of anything more outside the house. But around the house, they took turns exploring boundaries and grew more and more comfortable expressing themselves openly. It seemed to encourage Edd and Matt to do the same.
By Christmas, Tord had the perfect plan in mind. He was anxious, naturally, but not nearly as worried as he was before their first kiss. He’d grown comfortable enough that he was pretty sure he knew what Tom’s response would be. He was sure of it.
Everything was ready. Tord was waiting in the living room, nervously. He’d had Paul help him get the ring, since he didn’t have enough on his own. He’d sworn it would pay off, though he still felt a little bit of doubt within himself. Meanwhile, Edd and Paul distracted Matt and Patryk upstairs. It was Tord’s idea for Paul and Patryck to join them for Christmas since he was considering disbanding the Red Army, but he didn’t want to lose them as friends. When Tord saw Tom emerge from his room, he sent a quick text to Edd, letting them know it was time.
“Tord? Why are you pacing the living room?” Tom’s soft steps echoed through the house, not a single sound made by any of the other five current inhabitants. “And where is everybody? Doesn’t Edd usually wake everyone up for presents by now?”
Tord paused, taking a deep breath. “Tom, I want to talk.”
Tom felt his heart sink. This couldn’t be what he thought it was.
For those few seconds, he was terrified. Until Tord stopped in front of him, kneeling on the ground and holding out the ring from his pocket. Two gasps sounded from up the stairs, one from downstairs.
Tom’s head spun as Tord monologued something about their relationship. Thank god it wasn’t what he thought it was, but this? Complete opposite of what he expected. Was he even ready for this? Breathe, Tom, breathe. It’s just a ring. And he had been thinking about doing this himself to surprise Tord on New Year's. But now that he was face-to-face with the question, he doubted himself. Tord’s voice finally cut through Tom’s thoughts.
“This- This doesn’t mean we have to rush anything. We can always just-” Tord was growing more anxious the more he tried to speak his rehearsed lines. He wasn’t making eye contact as he began to ramble more than he intended to. That was, until Tom grabbed his hand, smiling.
“I’d love to.” He spoke. Tord felt butterflies in his stomach. Tom held out his hand, allowing Tord to put the ring on. He stood up, clearing his through, smiling shyly until Tom pulled him into a kiss, holding his hands gently.
Tord cupped Tom’s cheek. Edd held Matt’s hand. Paul smiled at his boss. Patryck…was crying.
The rest of Christmas went smoothly. Though Tom and Tord didn’t really celebrate, they had pitched in this one time. Tord had helped everyone pick out presents for Patryck and Paul as a surprise, a way to welcome them into the family. Tord was surprised when he got a gift from Tom. Though, with what his gift had been, he shouldn’t have been as surprised. If there was anything Tom had learned in his time with Tord, it was that Tord had a secret talent for art. So, he’d gotten him a sketchbook and some pencils, having also learned that Tord preferred pencils to markers or crayons. Everyone seemed pretty happy with their gifts.
Edd decided this was a very successful Christmas.