Chapter Text
White Forest had a new visitor. The entire base was talking about it.
Just last night, a recon team dared to venture near Ravenholm for some supplies, only expecting to come back with food and water. Instead, they came back with all that and a man.
This man had been run ragged. Members of that recon team recalled his hysterical crying for help and the horrified look in his eyes. On the way back, they had retrieved some of his equipment, strung about the surrounding countryside.
A gas mask. A grey camo shirt. Some helmets. A rosary. Dog tags. Vials of substances with unreadable labels.
An HECU vest.
Through the dog tags, it was determined that the man stumbling through their doors, halfway into the grave, was one Corporal Adrian Shephard, an HECU marine. That news wasn’t good to a lot of the team.
“Eli, we haven’t seen HECU for twenty years!! This is borderline insanity!”
“Kleiner, Kleiner, please! Even if he has the intent to harm, I doubt the state of his body would let him. The poor boy’s shredded right through!”
“Poor boy?!”
Two older-sounding scientists argued behind the doors. Yeah. Poor boy sounds about right. He had kept his mask tight on, in case all these people needed was a face to kill him, or something.
You couldn’t blame him for his guard being up. Ravenholm was gone.
Not just abandoned. Gone.
He tapped his feet on the stone floors, listening to the echo they made. Fidgeting with his hands since he didn’t have his rosary. The arguing seemed to have died down outside, if the sigh of the more nervous-sounding scientist was anything to go by. However, that was replaced with the worried discussion of a father and child.
“Dad, what is happening? Gordon’s gone AWOL, Kleiner’s losing his mind, just who is this guy?”
“Sweetie…sweetie, I’ve said many a time about the Black Mesa incident, right? The HECU…if the aliens weren’t gonna kill us, it would’ve been them. We’re just…shocked, that it would somehow find us some decades later.”
“Does he have his weapons?”
“No, the recon te-”
“Alright, I’m gonna see him.”
“A-Alyx!”
Heh. Adrian liked the spirit this girl had. It was hard to tell her age through the door, she could be a young teenager or a thirty-something woman. However, he knew when someone had a good fighting spirit.
“We can’t just keep him in there, dad! Look at him!”
Somehow, they could see him, but he couldn’t see them. His eyes glanced around the room, eventually spotting a security cam-like-thing. He looked straight into it and gave it a small wave.
“He seems in good spirits, I’m not sure we-”
“HEY!” Adrian finally said something, smirking at the way it startled the two spying on him. What? He couldn’t have a little fun? “Don’t talk about a guy behind his back!”
“...Well, what else are we gonna do? Leave him sitting in a room for a potential threat? Dump him outside? For the record, if we do that second one, I’m leaving and taking Gor-”
“Alyx!...Fine. He’s awake, so I imagine he’ll talk a bit. But I’m keeping an eye on this.” If the similar voice was any indication, this man was the same ‘Eli’ that was talking to ‘Kleiner’ a hot minute ago. “If anything happens…”
“Weren’t you just saying he probably can’t harm us due to his condition?” Alyx had a smile in her tone. “It’ll be fine.”
“YEAH!” He shouted out again. “I’LL BE NICE!”
He finished his joke with a harsh round of coughing. Man, now that he was feeling it, his chest really hurt.
“See?”
Eli let out a sigh.
“Go ahead, Alyx.”
Alyx moved towards the doors that Adrian was facing, stepping in and closing them behind her. It seemed to have an automatic lock on it, or maybe that ‘click’ sound was just for show.
Now he could look at Alyx. Hm. Both of his guesses were wrong.
Stood across a table from him was a young-looking, dark-skinned woman, probably early twenties? No, wasn’t polite to guess a woman's age, especially when she and who appears to be her family have all locked you in a room. Maybe it was best that he held his tongue
“Corporal Shephard?” She asked. Why was she asking him his name? His dog tags had probably been seen by this entire base, those said it clear as day.
“Mhm?” He nodded, shuffling a bit in his chair.
“Has it been long since you heard that? Everyone outside is saying they haven’t seen the likes of you for twenty years.”
“Has it actually been that long?” Adrian asked, tilting his head. “Everyone’s been saying it has, but like, I’m honestly finding it hard to believe.”
“It has, you can trust my word. Can I ask your age?”
How much information was he supposed to give to hostage holders again? Was he supposed to give any? All his military training from years ago now was seriously failing him.
“...I’m twenty-two.” He relented to honesty. Not like his military even existed now.
“Impossible!” Eli’s voice from the other room called out, sounding in genuine disbelief.
“Who’s that?” Shephard asked, leaning over to get a non-existent better look.
“If you’re not dangerous, I'll introduce you. For now…can you explain?” Alyx leaned forward, curious.
“Explain what? My age?”
“Well, if you are twenty-two, then, you would’ve been even younger than I was during the Black Mesa incident.” she then folded her arms.
“And infants can’t serve, at least not yet, yeah I getcha. I can verify, though, I’m twenty-two.”
To verify that fact, Adrian took a bold move, and decided to take off his gas mask. Unclipping each strap on the back, he let the thing fall and clatter against the table.
He looked as young as he said. That was a fact no one seeing him could deny.
Before Alyx was Adrian, a man with long-ish brown hair and a 5 o’clock shadow, an undercut in his hairstyle on his left side. He was bloody and beaten, his face looked a state. Cuts and bruises and signs of shock, and yet, he had been joking throughout all of this.
How interesting.
“Wow…” Alyx remarked, expression taken aback.
“I know it doesn’t verify my age, but I certainly don’t look fourty-two, do I?” Adrian leant backwards, wincing a little as his back touched the chair rest.
“...I don’t know if the others will, but I’m certainly taking your word on that.” Alyx resolved to admit, sighing into a smile.
“You should. It’s the only word I have.”
“...” Alyx’s silence was palpable. “...You were pulled from the outskirts of Ravenholm, or, what was left of it.”
“What was left…?” Adrian’s tone changed.
“Do you…do you know what happened? You’re the only one we can ask.” Alyx’s hands grew fidgety as she noticed the sudden change in Adrian's demeanour. His position went from lax to lenat forward and focused. His eyes glanced downward, avoiding hers.
“...What’s it look like there, now?” He asked, returning the question with one of his own.
“Smoke and ash and rubble. Remains of headcrab, too.” Alyx’s words made Adrian wince. “...Were you involved?”
Adrian kept his head down, processing this thought.
The father’s definitely dead, huh…
His lip quivered, just for a second.
“DOCTOR VANCE?!” A voice came from the other room, hollering like no other. Sounded like an older man.
“W-what? What is it?” Eli’s voice stumbled out, panicked.
“Is it true? Is Corporal Shephard in there?!” The voice asked with a frenzied yell, Adrian thought it sounded familiar.
“Yes, yes he is. Why?”
“You have to let me in there! You have to!”
“Now now, Doctor Katz-”
Doctor Katz?
Adrian stood up in his chair.
Doctor…Katz?
“I’ve told you about him, Eli!! The Good Shephard! He helped me escape!” Katz was positively frazzled, if his shakiness was anything to go by.
“...That’s him?” Eli made his attempt to ensure the information was true.
“That’s him!!” Katz quickly confirmed, even fiddling with the door handle to get in.
“Let him in!” Adrian called out, circling to find the camera again. “I remember a man by that name!”
Alyx seemed to mumble out a curse as Eli silently unlocked the doors. In burst through Doctor Katz himself, shocked to his core.
Yep, that was him. Give or take a Santa beard. He had a much longer coat too, stained at the bottom a bit with grime and other such substances. His circular, unframed glasses were the same pair, however, it was the easiest part of him to recognise.
“Corporal Shephard!” He exclaimed with relief and delight.
“Doctor Katz!” Adrian hurried to meet him, happy to see a familiar face. “You actually made it!”
“Barely. Alyx, look! I told you not all of the marines were against us, and here rolls in the apex example!” Katz’s head turned to Alyx as he gestured between the two, as if making first introductions.
Adrian folded his arms, despite the pain in his body telling him not to, as the doctor exclaimed many more words of gratitude.
“There’s a few of us 'round the base who had been rescued by you, you know! I ought to reunite us all, now that you’re here, they’d all love to see you!” Katz clasped his hands together, a wide smile on his face.
That smile…yep, that was nice and familiar.
Adrian was brought right back to where he had seen it before.
The Black Mesa Incident. Day 2
The corporal's legs screamed at him with each move his body took through this vent. Ends of the fabric of his pants tinged with both human and alien blood. Bullet shots still smoking on the edge of his HECU vest. Eyes damn nearly torn out of his skull.
Cracking open the other side and tumbling out onto the hard floors of a Black Mesa office, the sounds of helicopter blades outside muffled the sounds of his fall.
Adrian scrambled up, pipe wrench still in hand, stumbling over to the window across the room and planting both hands on it.
A helicopter out. Several of his fellow men gathered in it, more piling.
Hope.
Turning on his heel, Shephard wandered back across the room, holding a hand to his waist due to the pain. Just his luck, though, there was a first aid station near the door. Man, there sure were a lot of these around here. Were they just for the scientists? The guards?
Adrian decided those questions weren’t able to be answered, nor were they worth the privilege. Latching onto the kit, a cool feeling of relaxation filled his entire body as the beeps of the machine echoed across the room.
Then, a peculiar sound graced his ears. A familiar one.
The static of a radio in the room across.
Whatever voice was utilising that static radio spoke thus:
“Come in, Cooper! Do you copy? Forget about Freeman! We’re abandoning the base!”
Abandoning the base? Took them long enough to think of that idea. But who was this…Freeman?
Nevertheless, it was a familiar, safe voice, so Adrian took the leap and walked through the door, finally hopeful to see what was on the other side.
“Sir?” He gained the attention of his fellow marine as he was giving air strike orders with one word.
“Hm?” He whipped around, startled. “Shephard? You’ve made it!”
”Sergeant Watkins, it’s good to see you!” Adrian saluted the marine, the helicopter blades outside still whirring in the background.
The marine saluted back, before returning to his position. “I take it you didn’t find Freeman?”
“…No, sir.” Adrian had no idea what he was on about, so he lied through his teeth.
Sergeant Watkins’ brow furrowed, his eyes told of worry.
“Forget it, Corporal! We are pulling out! The airstrike has started, get to the hangar while we await evac!” Watkins commanded, firm in voice. “Take Jameson with you while you’re at it, he’s in the other room!”
“Yes, Sergeant!” Adrian nodded and rushed across the room, to the next door along.
Hauling it open, across another bizarrely shaped office, was who looked to be the mentioned Private Jameson with one of the scientists here. Those white coats, he’d recognise them anywhere.
“Where’s Freeman?!” Private Jameson demanded of the scientist. “We don’t have time to mess around here!”
“You’ve got to believe me! Freeman’s-“ The scientist wasn’t given time to finish his sentence. Instead, Jameson shoved him to the ground with his gun.
“I’m not letting you go until you talk!” His voice was harsh, scathing. Something in it made Adrian’s blood boil.
“PRIVATE!”
The Corporal’s call made Jameson swivel on his heel.
“Corporal Shephard! What a surprise to see you alive!” His eyes shone with recognition, an eerie sight after he had just threatened a civilian.
“What the hell are you doing here?! We’re supposed to be getting down to the helicopter!” Adrian got a bit yelly, lord knows he needed to after the day he’s had so far.
“Our other orders are still in place! We need to get information on Freeman, and I’m going to get it from him!” Jameson pointed over to the cowering scientist, a meek thing with circular no-frame glasses and what looked to be the beginnings of a beard.
“Did you not just hear Sergeant Watkins in the other room?! Whoever this Freeman is, he’s not our goddamn concern anymore! The concern is getting our sorry asses down to the helicopter and living long enough to read his fucking epitaph!” Adrian responded by pointing down the nearby stairs, starting to feel a nerve pop in his head. Or maybe that was the alien bullets. “Besides, what other orders?”
“Did you not receive them, Corporal Shephard?”
“What do you think, Jameson? Why do you think I’m asking?!”
“We are meant to be cleaning up all evidence of the events here, Corporal Shephard! And they meant all the evidence.” During his second sentence, he glanced back toward the scientist on the floor, who was shaking beyond belief.
The implication was rife. If Adrian left here, this man was going to die. And it would be by the bullet of one of his own.
Listen. He knew the army wasn’t good, not in the slightest. Especially not the marine corps.
He had been involved in it since eighteen, that’s enough time to learn that the people you work for aren’t very good. What they all fought for wasn’t honourable, or meaningful, or anything like that. Adrian was only there to guarantee himself some form of safety, at the cost of another form. He was there to guarantee himself a place in the world, and he was there to fight.
Killing civilians, in this manner, for useless information, however? This was something that left an awful taste in his mouth.
“Jameson, I…” Adrian stumbled on his words for a second. “Private, I’d understand if this was a former threat or something, but this is an unarmed scientist! About three of them just saved my ass earlier, they’re not threats! What the hell are you doing following these orders when we need to pull out!”
“You think I like it? Orders are orders, Corporal Shephard. We have to follow them.” He remained unshaken.
“Seriously? You don’t think there’s a thing fishy about being asked to ‘clean up’ the unarmed? Jameson, please, you were better than this in training!” Adrian rested his head in his hands, before taking another glance at the cowering scientist.
Private Jameson was someone Shephard knew. Not well, but he knew him. He was, from what he understood, a good type of guy. He had the nickname ‘Cauliflower’ because of his ears going like one in the first week of boot camp. He could handle his drink quite well. If Adrian’s supervisors were to be trusted, he was a man who could do his job.
Adrian didn’t recognise that Jameson, right now. All he saw was a man threatening a civilian. It made him feel sick.
“Jameson? Get your ass away from him, this instant, or I’m turning it into instant fucking ramen.” Adrian started to ready his gun, prepared to do the worst.
“Absolutely not, Corporal Shephard. I have this covered. You go on ahe-“
The Corporal shoved the pistol right at his head, laser turned on for good measure.
“I’m not repeating myself, Jameson.”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”
“Stopping you from doing something utterly stupid! Now back off!” Adrian barked at him, pressing the gun firmly against the Private’s forehead.
“Stupid?! They’re our orders!”
“Do our orders matter anymore, Jameson?” Adrian's voice quivered. “There’s fucking aliens running about! We’re massively overnumbered! Running is our only option!”
The air remained still for what felt like hours. Helicopter blades kept purring outside, a backing beat to their thumping, scared hearts.
The scientist quivered in the corner, watching with wide eyes as Private Jameson’s hand slowly reached for his own pistol.
Slowly…
Slowly…
“CORPORAL, HE’S ARMING-“
BANG!!
Private Jameson was a man Adrian once knew.
He dropped to the floor, leaving a shapely blood splatter on the wall behind him. Adrian’s gun arm fell, and he sighed in relief.
The scientist's warning had paid off.
Adrian turned on his heel, pointing directly towards him.
“Stay here. You’re not out of the woods yet.” He demanded, before turning back to meet with the Sergeant. ”And keep quiet!”
He marched back through the door, checking his pistol’s ammo without looking. The second the Sergeant was in his sight, his pistol was raised to a head once again.
“SERGEANT!”
“Shephard?!” Watkins leapt out of his chair and whipped out his own gun, pointing right back. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”
“Our orders, Sergeant Watkins! What were they?!” Adrian demanded, finger hovering over the trigger.
“Don’t you speak to me-“
“ANSWER ME! Were we sent here to murder the unarmed? Fucking CIVILIANS?!” Adrian’s voice started to hurt. “Yes or no?!”
“Shephard, you and I both know what we signed up for when we joined!” Watkins tried to justify, moving towards the other slightly. “Why now of all times?”
“This is for useless information! Private Jameson over there was trying to kill a guy for information we had already given up on!! What is going on?!”
“Put down the gun, Shephard. I might vouch for you in court for this if you do.”
“…Sergeant Watkins, do you think there’s even going to be a court after this?” Adrian couldn’t help but shake in his place, watching the eyes of Watkins become faded with arrogance and apathy. “I’ve been fighting god knows what here, do you think this is all just going to be cleaned up hunky dory? And do you really think they’re gonna let us live after seeing this?”
The thought of being erased after this operation didn’t come into Adrian’s head until the words left his mouth, but now that the idea was in the air, it was a worryingly strong possibility.
Really, this was alien stuff, wasn’t it? He’d watch movies like this back on base, ninety nine percent of the time it was a government coverup. Now that the first coverup had failed, it was only a matter of time before the next one came alone and murdered them all in droves.
Getting arrested and discharged for murdering a fellow soldier was the least of his problems. Getting killed by a fellow soldier for turning on them was the least of his problems. Whatever the hell Freeman’s status is, that was the least of his problems.
Not when those bastard crabs kept coming.
“Corporal, please…” Watkins kept trying to rationalise the situation, A hand raised up. “You need to calm down!”
Instead of shooting, Adrian dived towards him and shoved him into the wall, possibly to get a steady shot, maybe just so he didn’t have to kill him, he hadn’t decided yet. This caused Watkins to drop his gun, it clattered against the floor and thankfully didn’t misfire at either of them. Adrian was only going to kill if needs be.
“Love of God, Sergeant, open your eyes!” Adrian wrestled Watkins’ hands together. “Did you join to kill the innocent? Because I sure fucking didn’t!”
“You’re naïve, Shephard! I’ve heard that’s always been the case!”
“What the hell would you know about my case?!” Adrian’s voice grew hoarse as he pulled back the Sergeant's arm. “Now are you gonna listen to some sense or not?!”
“GAGHHH!”
Watkins yelled out in pain and reflexively pushed Adrian away with his body weight, shaking off the pain in his arm before running over to his dropped gun.
BANG BANG!!
Two more shots. The body of Watkins tumbled to the floor, just before his pistol.
…Shit.
Adrian holstered his pistol and grabbed the Sergeants, before stopping midway and taking another look at the radio he had been talking into.
It…was worth a shot, to send a diversion or something.
He turned on the radio as well as his best Watkins impression.
“No more hostiles in this area. Pulling out effective immediately, over.”
God, that voice was terrible. They were NOT buying that-
“Good job, Watkins. Get to the heli, over”
Oh thank fuck.
To finish the job, Adrian kicked the radio in, making sure no more signals could be sent out or in. He stumbled back a bit after his foot went through, it took a second to regain his balance. Once he was back on both feet, though, he immediately raced back to the scientist.
The poor guy. He was still cowering in that cupboard.
“Hey, doctor…whatever. You’re safe now, I won’t harm you.” Adrian walked up, trying to be quick but still as careful as possible. If he panicked, things could go very wrong. “What’s your name?”
“Uh…” His voice was shaking, he was still processing all this. “I’m Doctor Michael Katz.”
“Doctor Katz, lovely to meet you.” Adrian held out his free arm to pull him up, which he took. “You heard, but I’m Corporal Adrian Shephard. Sorry we have to meet in these circumstances.”
“You seem to at least have a decent head on your shoulders, Corporal. Thank you, dearly.” Katz nodded in response, keeping his hands close out of anxiety.
“They all do, they’re just…they’re just following orders. Not their fault that the orders are stupid.” Adrian sighed, resting his hands on his hips as he looked back at the bodies around him. Then, as the severity of the situation pulled in, that he had just murdered two of his former comrades, his hands shot up to his face. “Oh God…”
“C-Corporal?!” Katz’s hands shook, startled at the sudden change.
“Fuck…what have I done…That was Watkins…” The Corporal paced on the spot, panicked. “Shit…”
“Are you okay…? Sir?”
“…I just killed them. I just…”
“Sir, you…no, don’t let me interrupt. This day has been hard on all of us.” The doctor decided to hold his tongue, face remaining grim.
Good that he did, too. The weight of what Adrian did had hit him all of once just after the adrenaline of the fight wore off. His face felt like it was going to melt right off from the fear and the guilt.
It’s not like Adrian hadn’t killed before. That’s what the army trains you for, it’s what you’re expected to do. How the hell else did he make it up here in one piece?
It wasn’t something you ever got used to, though. The pump, recoil of a gun, the sound of the bullets sinking and squeaking into the flesh, followed by the unceremonious thud when the opponent hit the ground, life drained from their body. Even the hardiest, most experienced men Adrian knew still shuddered at the thought.
Watkins and Jameson, dead on the floor at his hand, for the life of another.
Adrian was starting to understand his superiors quite a bit.
His heaved sighs muffled by his sleeves quietened down a fair bit, before eventually fading away, leaving the two in the uncomfortable silence.
“…You saved my life, corporal, if it’s any comfort.”
“Thanks…I’m glad you’re okay. Did either of them injure you?” Adrian finally took his head out of his hands and looked at Katz, eyes slightly strained.
“Other than that push, no. I think I did my shoulder in a bit, but that’s just what happens when you get old!” Katz tried to laugh as he stretched out his left arm.
“Good, good…” Adrian glanced around, gritting his teeth behind his closed mouth.
“Hey, uhm…” The doctor began, anxious. “Have you…heard much about Gordon Freeman?”
“Nope, don’t know a thing, couldn’t care less. I’m...still wondering what’s even happening.”
“Hm…You might want to be careful, Corporal. Freeman was at the centre of the cascade, if what I’ve heard from Anomalous Materials is correct, and he’s done nothing but survive since. I only know that he’s been helping us and killing anything in his way, including you HECU. I’d hate to see a good man die.” Katz looked toward the floor, eyes filled with worry.
“Same here, which reminds me.” Adrian quickly changed the subject by handing Katz the gun he stole from Sergeant Watkins. “You experienced with weaponry, Doctor?”
“Wait, What- what the hell?!” He gasped at the gun in his hands, nearly dropping it.
“So, no. That’s helpful…alright, don’t use it unless you’re in a real bad situation. The trigger’s not hard, so just point it at whatever needs to be shot before it kills you. There’s a safety switch on the side, if you want, but don’t forget if you have switched it on.” Adrian explained, pointing around the gun to indicate the different parts.
“W-well, what would I need this for??”
“You’re going to run, obviously! You seriously need to run as far as you can get. Car, van, fuckin’ submarine, I don’t care. Get out of Black Mesa. The guns for anything or anyone trying to stop you. I think there’s some abandoned military vehicles nearby you could drive out of state with. You’ll have to be sneaky, though.” Adrian patted Katz on the shoulder, trying his best to reassure him. “Can you do that, Doctor?”
“I…I think I can?”
“Good enough. I’m gonna try to get to the heli and get out myself. Run for your life, alright?” Adrian’s hand left his shoulder and he bolted out, headed toward the stairs, to what he hoped would be his own salvation.
“Will do!! Good luck Corporal!”
“You too, Doctor!”
The true picture of his voice came in, the full memory filed into his brain. Here was the man he shot his fellow men to save, full of pep and spirit. Full of life, even after what Adrian understood now to be so many years.
It was a nice feeling. One he felt he didn’t deserve to have.
“So…I’m okay then?” Adrian asked, looking around to the others.
“I’d like to run a few tests first, if that’s alright? If the team that picked you up is to be believed, you have just come out of a small town-levelling explosion! You can’t be in the best shape!” Katz then expressed worry, doing some quick checks of Adrian’s arms in case of any visible wounds,
“Uh…I think you’d just need to look at my head. Think I knocked it pretty bad, I was out most of the way here.” The corporal admitted, brushing his left temple with two fingers. “Rest of me is intact.”
“Good that you’re acquainted with Doctor Katz, then,” Alyx spoke up, smiling. “One of the best medics we have.”
“Oh, you flatter me, Miss Vance! I’m just an old practitioner these days.”
“Well, you can check if I’ve got a concussion, right?” Adrian looked nervous.
“Who would I be if I couldn’t?” Katz laughed, patting Adrian on the shoulder and beginning to bring him along. “Alyx, could you tell your father and Dr Kleiner I’ve got the Corporal under my care? Especially Kleiner, I saw the man’s teeth chattering as I ran down here!”
“Got it, Dr Katz. I’ll keep an eye out for Gordon, too!”
“Wait, Gordon?” Adrian mumbled, head turning in confusion. He didn’t get his question answered however, he left with Dr Katz as Alyx wandered behind them to discuss plans with her dad again.
Fair enough, gotta confirm these things. But still, he felt a tad sour about not being answered.
The White Forest base, rudimentary as it was, was a sight to behold. The structure, the atmosphere, and the friendly nature of the denizens (even if a few looked at him weirdly) all made him think of a nicer version of his marine camp. You know, without all the shouty drill instructors and careless upper brass. Or the twenty-minute marches whenever someone fucked up, those memories sent a shiver down his spine.
A few older faces seemed to recognise him, and he recognised them right back. A lady with brown hair waved with delight while she was constructing something fierce-looking. An older man with a receding black hairline causally saluted him. A youngish girl tugged on her dad's shoulder while he typed at something and said ‘That’s the Shepherd you were talking about, isn’t it?’.
He recognised them all. It’s good to see he did at least a little bit of good while in that hell Black Mesa.
Eventually, he was taken to a small medical room, labelled ‘Katz’s Practice’. It wasn’t much of a medical facility, but the doctor seemed to make do with what he had. A nice looking desk with some notes, some papers, a typewriter and some family photos on it, some old chairs with those grandma patterns on the seats and back (you know the type), even an examination bench!
All of that was paired with an impressive collection of medical books in the back, one of which a young-looking man was studying from in the corner.
“Greetings, Horvitz!”
“Aah!” The man jumped, his head whipped around. “Oh, shit, Doctor Katz! You’re back!”
“Brought us a good friend over! Shephard, this is my apprentice, Daniel Horvitz. Horvitz, this is one Corporal Adrian Shephard, the reason I’m alive to work in this lab!” He gestured between the two of them with a hearty smile. Horvitz waved meekly, a closed book on human biology in his arms.
“You’re Corporal Shephard?” He asked, looking him up and down.
“Last I checked.”
“It’s an honour, sir!” Horvitz walked over and held out his hand to shake. His eyes had a constant downturned sense of worry, but he seemed friendly enough. “As he said, I’m Daniel! I’m one of the medics on base, but I’m trying to become a proper doctor. Under him, of course!”
“Can never have enough of those, good on you!” Adrian was quickly reminded of the medical personnel that were part of his team. They were stronger than any of the rest of them, so he immediately took a shine to the meek man in front of him. Anyone strong enough to willingly deal with the absolute hell that was studying medicine and surgical practices on warzones was stronger than him.
“Horvitz, could you get me an article on concussions and head trauma? Shephard here’s suffered a nasty knock to his head, I’ll need a refresher!” Doctor Katz sat down at his desk and took a few notes, probably on Adrian’s initial visible condition if the constant looks back at him were any indication. “Take a seat anywhere, Corporal, not that we have many!”
Adrian laughed along with him at that joke and took a seat nearby on one of those grandma chairs.
“Of course!” Daniel nodded and slid the biology book back into its place on the wide set of bookshelves, before hurrying over to another shelf and sliding out a smaller book, dashing it onto Katz’s desk.
The doctor flipped it open and eyeballed it for a minute. In any other circumstances, your doctor having to refresh himself on the concept of concussions wasn’t a good sign, but Adrian simply took it as a sign of responsibility. Katz could never be too sure, and that put Adrian’s mind at ease.
They went through standard procedures, it was nothing Adrian wasn’t used to. Health checks back at his camp in the army weren’t an uncommon thing, so if anything, this gave him a sense of normality. If he could close his eyes, he could pretend he was back on base, being seen to by Doctor Brand and his wonderful team, laughing about the mess hall food and what a stickler Commander Jones was being lately.
…
None of them survived, did they?
Adrian’s train of thought came to a halt, however, when he was broken out of his trance of routine, seemingly being asked something by the Doctor in front of him.
“Corporal?”
“Ah!”
He jumped slightly, shocked out of his state.
“You zoned out a bit there on me, are you sure you’re okay?” Katz asked, eyebrows furrowed.
“D-Don’t worry!” Adrian waved the worries away with a sheepish hand. “You just…reminded me of something.”
“Hm…fair enough. I was just asking if I could do a physical inspection? Of the rest of you that is.” Doctor Katz tilted his head, trying to ease Adrian. That effort seemed to be in vain, though, as his eyes instead grew more worried.
“Rest of me? Oh- no, no, that’s- that’s all fine!” He stammered out, his arms wrapping around each other reflexively. “It’s just surface level wounds, I checked while I was in that room. They should heal on their own!”
“Good to hear, but I really should still check for broken bones and the-“
Adrian pulled out of the chair and backed away, anxiety levels soaring high. “That’s fine, Doctor Katz. I’ll manage.”
“Please, corporal-“
“Besides, I haven’t gotten to take my medication yet.” Adrian then played off his scared arms as ones that were folded, as he turned away and regained his composure, changing the subject.
“Medication?” Horvitz looked concerned.
“Yes, they’re still holding most of my stuff, including my medication. I haven’t taken it this week and I need to.”
Speak of the devil, and he comes knocking. There was a knock at the door of this little lab, followed by the familiar face of Alyx.
“Corporal? Team said you could have your stuff back.”
“Oh thank fuck ”
Adrian hurried over and took the bundle out of Alyx’s arms, laying it across a nearby foot table.
Medication, check, HECU vest, check, mask, check, dog tags, check…
A rosary. A gift.
Adrian held it in his hands for a second, feeling the beads clack together, as his thoughts pulled him back to the rubble of Ravenholm.
Check.
“…Doctor, you wouldn’t have a clean syringe, would you? This stuff needs to be injected.” Adrian looked around as he asked, his eyes wide.
“Oh! Yes yes, here!” Katz opened some drawer Adrian couldn’t see from his position and hurried over, syringe in hand.
“Thanks. Don’t worry about the application, I’ve done this for years.” The Corporal assured, before measuring out a small but significant amount of fluid from the container and injecting it firmly into the muscle of his left arm. Then, he slotted the container into a pocket in his camo pants and passed the syringe back to the doctor.
“What is it?” Alyx asked. “Just…out of pure curiosity. Label’s wiped.”
Adrian nearly made the mistake of visibly sucking air through his teeth at that question, wondering how exactly he was going to answer without either sounding like a heroin addict or outing himself, so to speak.
How much lying would he need to do? Only just a bit, probably.
“It’s…hormone shots. My hormone levels get pretty messed up, so I take this to level ‘em out. Can’t remember the brand name, though.” Adrian lied through his teeth, praying that his eyes weren’t giving him away.
“Hm. Makes sense. You can come here to administer it, if you wish. Least I could do for you, Corporal!” Katz assured the younger man with a firm smile.
“Awfully kind!” Adrian replied as he gathered his things proper, before walking over to Alyx by the door. “Now, what’s your plan with me? I’ll take execution, if it’s necessary.”
Alyx snickered. “No, no, you said you wanted introductions, right? C’mon, I’ll get you acquainted with our team here.”
“Solid. Take care, Doctor Katz, Mr Horvitz!” Adrian waved them off, a big smile on his face, as he walked out with Alyx following close.
The door closed behind them, and the two medics were left to their thoughts.
“…Hormone condition?” Horvitz asked, raising his hands to his chest slightly
“Hm? Oh, yes, don’t worry. It’s not exactly common, but they do happen. Causes issues with fat distribution, blood cell production, bone density, all sorts. He seemed flighty about it, but, aren’t we all about our medical conditions?”
Katz stayed casual about the topic, tapping his fingers on his desk as he gathered a few notes from it. “Oh…shit!”
“What?”
“Horvitz…I forgot to circle back onto his physical exam!”
Gordon’s own mission hadn’t been much. Scan for any remaining combine in the area, clear out any dangerous weapons, et cetera et cetera.
It was just him and D0G on the mission, too, which gave him good time to think.
The natural beauty of White Forest can really clear a man’s head, he found out. Waterfalls, bristling trees, wet grass after rain.
Unfortunately, this beauty meant finding weapons was all the more of a stark dissonance.
Nevertheless, Gordon did his job and he did it well, bringing an arm and a leg’s load of usable weapons for the resistance.
Coming back to the base to rumours running wild was, like many times that day, a stark jarring dissonance.
What the hell did they mean, a HECU soldier was found?
After dumping the entire arms race at the weaponry division, Gordon resolved to meet back with Alyx to figure out what the hell happened while he was gone.
He managed to wave her down while she was discussing something with Kleiner, pulling her aside and signing drastically to express his confusion.
“I’ve been hearing stuff about a marine soldier here? How?” He asked, trying his best to maintain composure.
“You just heard?” Alyx tilted her head in question, before shifting it back when realising. “Ah, right, you’ve been gone. Our other recon team went nearby Ravenholm due to an explosion set off there, and we found him in the rubble.”
“And you’ve…kept him?” Gordon’s face looked almost aghast.
“We determined him not to be dangerous, so, yeah! Plus, a couple Black Mesa survivors owe their lives to him, apparently, so they’ve been able to vouch for him!” Alyx tapped away on a keypad and the door before them opened up.
Eli and Adrian, just through the doors, looked to be having a pretty amicable discussion. Adrian was leaning actually on the wall next to a cabinet, arms folded, while Eli was sat typing at a computer.
“Hm?” The Corporal was the first to notice the entrance. “Oh, hey Alyx.”
“Hey Shephard! Hi Dad!”
“Ah, Alyx!” Eli turned on his chair, welcoming his daughter with open arms. He got out of his chair and shared a hug with his daughter, before pulling away and patting firmly on Gordon's shoulder. “Good to see you too, Gordon. All well?”
“Got some more weapons. D0G’s doing fine, too.” He signed back, smiling only slightly.
“You’re Freeman?” Adrian’s head turned. “Man…still got that suit.” He folded his arms and turned, his back leaning against the wall.
“You’re the HECU?” Gordon signed back, before realising he might not understand that. He was about to ask Alyx to help translate, but Adrian raised his hand up to stop them.
“ASL, right? I learned on a tour.” Adrian’s signing was shaky, but structured. “I can understand you.”
“Good to know…” Gordon’s signs were small, as if in a mumble, but still directed.
“And yes, I am. Corporal Adrian Shephard. Good to finally meet you.” He held out his hand to shake, a small nervous smile on his face.
Gordon met it, shaking his hand, but there was a bit of an indescribable tension that they both could feel. Neither one could blame the other either. The events of Black Mesa changed them both, in very different directions.
It felt like one couldn’t trust the other. Not one bit.
“Ahoy, Doctor Vance?” Adrian’s head turned again. “You guys got a smoking area around here? I’ve been craving a cig for hours.”
“Uh…Think you could just use the gate outside for that?” Eli shrugged, not really knowing what to do with that kind of question. Adrian wordlessly thanked him and walked out, tucking a few things out of his vest and leaving it on a nearby chair as he went.
The window across the room showed where he ended up, leaning against a temporarily inactive electric fence as he clicked on what looked to be some sort of music player. It was a small stick, coloured black, with a little LCD screen on the front. The earbuds connected to it were placed into his ear and he slotted the player into a pocket in his pants.
Then, out of a packet of slightly crumpled cigarettes, he retrieved a smoke and placed it in his mouth. With a lighter from the other pocket, he lit it up, watched the smoke fade into the distance. He seemed relaxed.
“...Pulled out of the rubble of Ravenholm, right? What even happened there?” Gordon eventually asked.
“We…still don’t fully know. He hasn’t given us much information.” Alyx admitted, resting an arm down by her side.
“I don’t blame him!” Eli raised his hands in a slight shrug. “Poor boy was more blood than man at the scene, apparently. Can’t have been pretty business.”
“There were also signs of a much larger being with…headcrab resemblance, was it?” Alyx tilted her head.
“That’s what recon reported. Fact is, we don’t know what happened until army man there tells us.” Eli said, finger raised, then pointed at Adrian in the window.
“Can we trust him to say the truth when he does?”
“Gordon?”
“Easy, Alyx.” Eli then calmed them both. “If what Adrian says is true about his age, which I think it is, the Black Mesa incident might be a fresh memory for him.”
“You saw what those grunts did to our teams, Eli!” Gordon got a bit more frantic, breath shortening. “You remember how many of them I had to kill to keep us alive!?”
“Gordon, I…I don’t know what answer you want me to give you.” Eli then admitted, resting his fist on the table near him. “Fact is, he’s alive and willing to help us. I don’t think this would be another Mossman situation, I doubt it’s possible with the Citadel now long in fireworks.”
“We need all the help we can get, and he seems like pretty big help.” Alyx assured Gordon, patting him on the back.
“...Fine. Whatever. I’ll be with Kleiner if you need me.” Gordon audibly huffed and hurried out the room, a rare sight for the two others.
“...Gordon doesn’t seem too good, should I?” Alyx almost followed along before her father stopped her.
“Don’t, sweetie. You saw how Kleiner got, I doubt it’s much different for him. The soldiers at Black Mesa were meant to clean us up, I imagine some of us are still a bit raw about the whole thing.” Eli turned back to see Adrian in the framing of the window, still smoking and listening to whatever he had playing. “...If what Katz and the others say is correct, though…then he may have risked a lot to save us.”
“That makes him trustworthy then, right?”
“...I hope so.”
Eli sighed and clasped his hands together as Adrian outside stubbed the cigarette, sliding the end into another pocket.
He took one last look at the mountainscape around him.
And then he walked back inside.
Some Years Before
Past midnight, nothing seemed too real anymore.
Arizona wasn’t a wet state, so a night of rain like this was unprecedented. Nevertheless, he took the time to enjoy it.
A sharp, hot flash of tar in his airways, and he could relax again, watching the odd car, or the odd person, or the odd light go by on this street lit up only by streetlights reflecting off wet asphalt.
He checked his MP3 player. Still nearly dead. It probably wasn’t a wise time to use it, but god, he needed something to fill the air other than the taps of raindrops on the concrete around him.
Slipping his earbuds in, the song he wanted started playing. Finally, some guitars to outpace the gloom of this street. Some hard drums. Some singing.
The file wasn’t perfect, no random torrent off the internet was. It sounded a bit blown out in places, and occasionally went off entirely. But that was fine.
Man, where was he going to stay tonight?
He flipped through the contacts on his half-broken cell, wondering who would be most open to a rain-covered loser on their couch.
Eventually, a name came up. Danielle.
Haven’t talked to her in a while, she could be a shot.
Pausing the music, he raised the cellphone to his ear and let the ring play.
Once
Twice
Click.
“Hello? Adrian, is that you??”
“...Yes, yes it is, Dani, uh…sorry to ask so late in the night but, you wouldn’t mind if I came over, would you?”