Chapter Text
Kaeya let out a sigh as he finished writing the last document. Setting down his quill, he stretched his arms over his head, rolling his shoulder to loosen stiff muscles. He’d been doing paperwork since early this morning.
"Ugh," Kaeya groaned, eyeing the pile of paperwork still laying on his desk with disdain. "I don't know how Jean does this every day..."
Kaeya leaned back in his chair, massaging his temples with a weary expression plastered on his face. The stacks of paperwork and documents seemed to be an endless mountain these days and many of them were for such small things. Paperwork shouldn’t be needed for a missing cat!
A sudden knock at the door caught his attention, snapping him out of his thoughts. Kaeya glanced up at the door, a small sigh escaping his lips. "Come in," he called out, his tone a mix of annoyance and resignation. He just finished some paperwork and now there was someone else who needed something and would probably add to his workload.
The door opened, revealing a familiar figure. Putting up his usual smirk, Kaeya exclaimed, “ Grand Master! To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Kaeya.” Kaeya’s smirk faltered at Jean’s tone and at the fact that she didn’t correct him. He watched as she fully entered the room, her expression serious, but there was also something else that he couldn’t make out.
Kaeya quickly put his feet on the ground and sat up in his chair, his smirk completely gone. “Did something happen?” he asked, his usual carefree attitude replaced with a serious one. Jean wasn’t here to chit-chat; her expression held an intensity he rarely saw.
“Indeed, something did happen,” Jean replied, her eyes scanning over his desk, taking in the piles of papers and documents scattered across its surface. Her gaze lingered on the quill clutched in his hand before returning back to meet his inquisitive gaze. He was starting to get the sense that she was trying to put off what she came here for.
Kaeya observed her, his eyes narrowing at her hesitation. He could tell there was something on her mind. His suspicions further confirmed as she continued to avoid his gaze. “Jean,” he said, his voice firm, “Just tell me. What happened?” He leaned forward on his desk, studying her.
Jean's face took on a grim look. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to be direct. There's been an incident." She took a breath. "It's Diluc." No Master attached, but just Diluc.
Kaeya's heart instantly skipped a beat, and every muscle in his body tensed. His mind started racing, and any lingering fatigue suddenly vanished. Diluc. The name echoed in his mind like a thunderclap.
Kaeya's fingers involuntarily clutched the armrests of his chair, the grip so tight his knuckles turned white. "What happened?" he managed to ask, his voice a tense whisper.
Jean frowned as she saw his reaction. She crossed her arms, trying to find the right words to say next, to break the news as gently as possible. But at this point there was no easy way to tell him this.
Taking a deep breath, she began, “This morning, Albedo came rushing into the cathedral with Diluc. I'm... not sure about the specifics, but supposedly he might have been cursed or given some type of poison." She paused, searching for the right word before finally admitting, “Kaeya, it's bad. Albedo is trying to come up with an antidote, but right now it's not looking good."
The words hung heavy in the air. For a few moments, Kaeya just sat there, processing the news. Diluc. Cursed. Poisoned. And who knew how long it would take for Albedo to come up with an antidote, or even if there would be one.
Slowly, he spoke, his voice low and controlled, “How bad?” Did he want to know the answer?
The look on Jean’s face was all the answer he needed. Her expression was solemn, her lips pressed into a thin line. As she spoke, her voice trembled slightly, “He’s not doing well at all, Kaeya. His condition is critical. He's currently in restraints to keep from hurting himself and is being given a heavy dose of painkillers." Jean's face paled and her expression turned haunted. "Kaeya... he hasn't stopped screaming since he came in."
Time seemed to slow to a crawl for Kaeya. The news felt like a punch to the gut. Diluc, in constant pain and restrained. The image was too much to bear.
He pushed himself up from his chair and stalked over towards the door, his thoughts racing.
"Kaeya! I really don't think you should see him," Jean called out.
He paused with his hand on the door, his back facing her. Kaeya took a deep breath, steadied himself, and swallowed the storm that was his thoughts .
"Why not?" Kaeya asked, his voice low and steady. He fought to keep his voice even but there was a hint of a tremble in the words.
“He’s in a really bad state,” Jean said gently. “It’s... it’s not pretty. It’ll only hurt you.”
Kaeya gripped the door handle tightly, his knuckles turning white. He knew she was right, that seeing Diluc in such a state would only hurt him more. But the thought of not seeing him, of not being there for him, felt even worse.
He took another deep breath, his eyes fixed on the door. "I don't care," he said, his voice now harder and full of determination. "I need to be there for him. I-" He cut himself off, letting out a sigh of frustration and resignation. "I don’t care what state he's in, he's my brother. I need to see him," he repeated firmly and then yanked the door open.
Jean didn’t try to stop him, knowing that once Kaeya set his mind on something, there was no point in arguing. Her eyes were filled with worry as she watched him leave. With one last glance at the piles of paperwork on his desk, Kaeya walked out of his office and made his way to the Cathedral.
Kaeya's heart pounded in his chest as he strode through the corridors of the Knights of Favonius headquarters. His mind was a blur of chaotic thoughts, fear mingling with anger as the words Diluc hasn't stopped screaming echoed in his head. He quickened his pace, his boots hitting the marble floor with force, his hand still trembling from the weight of the news.
By the time he reached the Cathedral doors, his breath was shallow. The large wooden doors loomed before him, and for a moment, he hesitated. What would he find on the other side? Could he handle it? But he couldn't let that stop him now. He had to know.
He pushed open the door.
The cathedral's interior was as beautiful as ever, the sunlight streaming through the stained-glass windows casting colorful shadows across the cold stone floor. But the beauty of the surroundings was lost on Kaeya as he entered. The cathedral felt hollow, emptied of its warmth.
He spotted a pair of nuns near the far entrance and made his way towards them. "Where is he? Where’s Diluc?" he asked, unable to keep the edge of agitation out of his voice.
The nuns exchanged a nervous glance before looking at him. One of them, a young girl with red cheeks, responded hesitantly, "He's in the back room," she said, pointing towards a small door that led to the cathedral's side wing. "But you're not supposed to-"
But her words fell on deaf ears as Kaeya stormed past them without another glance.
As he approached the door to the side room, he slowed his pace, his hand shaking as he grabbed the doorknob. He closed his eyes, steeling himself and trying to prepare for what he might see on the other side.
With a deep breath, he pushed the door open.
His gaze swept across the room until it landed on a familiar figure at the far end. Albedo stood near one of the cots, his usually calm face lined with concern.
And there, restrained on the bed, was Diluc.
His lungs seized, each ragged breath heavy as he took in the sight of his brother broken on the cot.
Diluc's body seemed to be writhing in agony, his limbs jerking violently even though he was restrained. His usually messy fiery hair was matted with sweat, sticking to his forehead. Low, guttural grunts and whimpers of pain and anguish escaped his lips.
As Kaeya stepped into the room, Albedo turned his head. The alchemist's expression was grave, the weariness evident in his usually pristine gaze.
Kaeya slowly moved further into the room, his eyes never leaving Diluc’s prone form. As he approached the bedside, he felt his heart twist at the sight before him. He had never seen Diluc like this, so vulnerable and in so much pain. The agony painted across Diluc’s face tore at him.
He stood at the edge of the bed, his own hands now shaking. "Why is he restrained?" he asked Albedo, trying his best to keep his voice steady.
Albedo turned to face Kaeya, his expression unreadable. "We had to restrain him to stop him from hurting himself," he said calmly, though a small wrinkle of worry creased his brow. "He's thrashing about so strongly that he's on the verge of breaking his own bones."
"Can't you give him any stronger painkillers?" Kaeya asked, each sound that escaped from Diluc's mouth chipping at him.
Albedo shook his head, a frown of frustration on his face. "I've already given him the maximum dose of painkillers and sedatives without risking an overdose," he replied, his voice tinged with worry. "He should be in a dreamless sleep by now, but..." He trailed off, his eyes darting towards Diluc. “At this point, the only hope we have is to come up with an antidote,” Albedo said quietly, his voice almost lost in between Diluc’s torment.
Kaeya swallowed. An antidote. But how long would that take? How much would Diluc have to suffer until then?
Kaeya walked past Albedo and stood beside Diluc's cot. It was as if the world had fallen away, time slowed to a stop. All he could focus on was the sight in front of him. This couldn’t be Diluc. Strong, proud and always composed Diluc, never letting anyone see past his walls ever since he came back. Seeing him like this... it broke something in Kaeya, exposing a rawness he’d buried for years.
Kaeya reached out a trembling hand and gently touched Diluc's forehead, sweeping away the damp hair sticking to the side of his face. He was clammy, his skin damp from cold sweat. Kaeya's heart ached as he gently touched him, infusing his hands with cryo, trying to soothe his pain.
Diluc’s eyes were squeezed shut, but they suddenly snapped open at the touch. They were unfocused and dazed for a moment, before they slowly found Kaeya, a hint of recognition in them. A low, incoherent mutter escaped Diluc’s lips.
"Diluc?" Kaeya’s voice was thick with emotion. He leaned in closer, gently squeezing his shoulder. "Hey, can you hear me? It’s Kaeya." He desperately hoped that Diluc could hear him, to recognize his voice.
Diluc’s eyes slowly focused on him, and he spoke again, this time less incoherent, but his voice was raw and almost pleading. “K... Kae.”
Kaeya froze, his heart skipping a beat at the familiar sound of his nickname. It had been a long time since Diluc had called him that. Back when they were brothers. He wanted to hold him, to take him in his arms, like when they were children and Kaeya had a nightmare, but he couldn’t. Not with Diluc’s body twitching violently under the restraints. Feeling utterly helpless, Kaeya sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned over him.
"I’m here," he whispered, still stroking his damp hair with a trembling hand. "I’m here, Diluc. I’m not going anywhere."
Diluc’s eyes, still glazed with pain, locked onto Kaeya’s face, and a low groan escaped his lips. “Hurts... It hurts… Kae.” His voice was a quiet, trembling whisper that sent a dagger straight through Kaeya’s chest.
"I know," Kaeya replied, his voice wavering. Seeing Diluc in so much pain was almost unbearable. He wanted to take it all away, to fix everything. "But it's going to be alright. Albedo's going to find an antidote. You just need to hold on." He tried to sound reassuring, but his words sounded hollow even to his own ears.
Diluc's body gave a violent jerk, muscles tensing, and a strangled sob escaped his lips. "Can’t... can’t hold on..." he managed to gasp out. "It hurts... please... make it stop..." he cried out.
Kaeya's heart shattered at Diluc's words. How could he make it stop? There was nothing he could do for the pain. He grabbed Diluc's hand and squeezed, hoping to provide some comfort, some small form of relief. His fingers flexed against the restraints, as if he wanted to reach out to Kaeya, but the binds held him back. All he could do was to let out strangled sobs and cries.
He let out a low moan of agony, his body pulling against the restraints as he tried to curl in on himself.
"Please," Diluc panted, eyes filled with so much pain that Kaeya felt as if he was drowning. He would do anything to make it stop, but he was powerless, completely helpless, and the weight of it was crushing. He squeezed Diluc's hand tighter as if trying to anchor them together, hold on to the last shred of his sanity.
"Please. I can’t... I can’t do it. It... it’s too much. I can't... please... make it end." With each word, Diluc’s cries became weaker, more desperate.
Kaeya felt his chest tighten as Diluc's pleas echoed in his ears, each word tearing at his heart. He bit down hard on his lip, trying to keep the flood of emotions at bay, but it was no use. He could feel his eyes stinging, his resolve crumbling.
"Please, Diluc," Kaeya said again, his voice breaking. He couldn’t take this helplessness anymore. He wanted to help Diluc, to protect him. "You have to hold on. You can make it through this. You’ve always been strong, hmm?" He could feel Diluc’s fingers twitching in his grip, his whole body still writhing under the pain.
Diluc's eyes met Kaeya's again, full of agony and pleading, and he spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper. "Help me..."
Those two words struck Kaeya like a blow to the chest. Diluc never asked for help, especially since he’s been back. He was always the one to fight his own battles, the one to bear the pain in silence. Hearing him plead now felt like watching a mountain crack and crumble. And was asking him for help. Him. And here he was, incapable of doing anything but stand there, holding his hand, unable to pull him out of this while pain flow through his body.
"Please." Diluc's plea was weaker this time, his body tensing under the pain.
Kaeya desperately searched his mind for a solution. Anything. But there was none. The only thing they could do was to wait for Albedo and hope he created an antidote soon.
And wasn’t that thought just painful? How long would Diluc have to suffer before then? How much more could he take? Kaeya’s mind churned with panicked thoughts as he stared at Diluc’s writhing body, the gasps and sobs escaping from his lips.
“Sir Kaeya,” Barbara’s voice startled him from his thoughts, making him tear his gaze away from his brother. Albedo was no longer in the room. When did the deaconess get here and when did Albedo leave?
His confusion must have shown because she gently explained, “Albedo left to continue working on the antidote. He’ll check in soon.”
Kaeya nodded numbly, barely registering her words. He was still holding Diluc's hand. The pleading look in Diluc's eyes still haunted him, demanding help that he couldn’t provide.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice hoarse, as he cast a glance at Barbara.
“I wanted to check on both of you,” Barbara said gently, her eyes filled with the same worry as Kaeya’s. “Is there anything I can do?” She asked.
“Can’t you use your Vision on him?” Kaeya asked bluntly, his tone more brusque than he intended. He was frustrated, angry at the world, at Albedo for not being able to find an antidote, at Diluc for getting himself into all sorts of messes. At himself.
Barbara shook her head firmly, “I’ve already tried. The poison reacts unfavorably with any type of elemental healing and it just accelerates his pain.”
Kaeya sighed, frustration and helplessness welling up inside him. He let go of Diluc’s hand and stood up, starting to pace back and forth across the room.
Silence settled over the two of them, broken only by Diluc’s soft grunts and whimpers. Kaeya couldn’t stand it. He glanced over at Diluc’s prone body, his skin glistening with sweat, his eyes squeezed shut as he endured unimaginable pain.
"He's suffering," Kaeya finally said, his voice thick with emotion, as he stopped walking and turned to face Barbara. "He's suffering so much, and I can't do anything, I can't help him." He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "I'm no use to him."
Barbara looked at him with understanding in her eyes. "Sir Kaeya," she said softly, "you’re here, you’re with him. You’re not leaving his side when he needs you the most. That’s not nothing." She walked over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder.
"It’s not enough," Kaeya snapped, his frustration and guilt bubbling over. I’m not enough. "I need to do something. Anything." He paused, staring at Diluc's restrained form. He hatedhow desperate he sounded, as if he were on the edge of unraveling.
Barbara took Kaeya's hands in hers, voice soft, but firm. "Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to just be there. Be a presence, a reminder that he’s not alone."
He shook his head, the helplessness still clawing at him. "But I-”
"Don’t underestimate your presence," Barbara interrupted him gently, her eyes full of understanding. "Your presence might not heal his body, but it might ease his spirit."
Kaeya fell silent, the weight of her words sinking in. He hadn’t thought of it that way. All this time he had been thinking only in terms of physical healing, in terms of what he could do and couldn’t do for the pain. But maybe Barbara was right. Maybe just being here, holding Diluc’s hand, talking to him, would help to alleviate his suffering, even just a little.
He took a deep breath, trying to force back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. He could do this. He could be the presence that Diluc needed. He could be there for him.
“Thank you, Barbara.” She gave him a smile in return.
He sat back down on the edge of the bed, once again taking Diluc’s hand in his own, giving it a small squeeze. "I’m here, Diluc," he said softly, leaning closer to his ear. "I’m not going anywhere."
Days turned into nights and days again, a blur of dark and light, while Kaeya remained by Diluc’s bedside, counting every plea, every breath, every tortured movement. Albedo, Sucrose, and Lisa worked constantly to find an antidote, but with each failed attempt, hope slipped a little further from Kaeya’s grasp, replaced by that familiar ache of helplessness.
Diluc's pain only grew worse. The painkillers were losing their effectiveness the more they were administered, and the dosage couldn’t be increased without a high risk of overdose. Now, he was being given anesthesia. Barbara would bring food and water, checking on Kaeya just as much as she checked on Diluc, likely at Jean’s urging.
Diluc lay against his chest, fingers curled tightly into Kaeya’s shirt, with his own arms around him. It was the only way he knew to comfort him now, to keep him from hurting himself now that the restraints were removed.
The anesthesia gave Diluc short, precious breaks from the agony, leaving him in a restless peace for only a few hours. But between doses, the pain returned in vicious waves, dragging him back to consciousness, and every time, Kaeya felt that familiar helplessness rise anew, bracing himself for the next onslaught.
Whenever Diluc shifted in his arms, tried to sit up in a desperate attempt to alleviate the pain, Kaeya held him tighter, gently, yet firmly, forcing him back down.
Kaeya’s eyes burned from lack of sleep, shadows deepened under his gaze – safe to say he was exhausted. He had rarely left Diluc's side, only to rest and eat when Barbara all but forced him. Sitting by his bed, holding his hand, and talking to him in a soft, soothing tone, had become his constant.
Even though Diluc was unconscious for most of the time, Kaeya still spoke. He’d talk about mundane things, from the latest cat that got stuck on Mondstadt’s rooftops to the silly rumors going around the city. He spoke about the latest shipment of Snezhnayan goods that had arrived, some of it already sold out thanks to a noblewoman with extravagant tastes. He mentioned the city’s windmills, how one of them had creaked loudly during the last storm, and how he’d seen a few kids daring each other to climb it.
Every story he told felt like a lifeline, a fragile thread of normalcy in the midst of agony.
Diluc’s ragged breathing continued, his eyes fluttering as he fought through the pain, but Kaeya kept talking, his voice low and steady. "And Timmy's pigeons? I scared them off last week—completely on accident, of course." He forced a chuckle, though the sound was hollow. "That kid gave me such a glare, I thought he was about to challenge me to a duel."
He laughed again, quieter this time, as if the simple act might keep Diluc tethered to him. Anything to distract from the agony. "I was thinking of dragging you out to Mondstadt's next festival, just to see the look on your face when everyone tries to thank you for the fireworks show." Kaeya’s voice wavered, but he kept talking, his grip on Diluc's hand tightening. "You’d grumble the whole time, but you’d stay anyway."
His words slowed then, a heavy weight settling over him. His eyes, red-rimmed from exhaustion, scanned carefully over Diluc’s face. His eyes were unfocused and dull with pain, and he wore a permanent expression of pain. His brows were drawn together sharply, creating deep lines between them as tears welled up in the corners of his eyes.
If only Albedo could hurry up on the antidote. If only he could do something. Anything but just… watch.