Chapter Text
He didn't have enough fingers in his current form to show the amount of stupid decisions he'd made since his creation, but this one was without a doubt the most screwed up situation he'd ever manage to put himself in and he couldn't blame anyone but himself.
Kiss the radio demon he said, what could go wrong with a hate fuck between enemies who found the other hot he said. They hadn't spoken about that drunken night in over two months already, that should have been the only stupid decision made in his current time outside the palace walls.
The positive pregnancy test mocked him with its little plus sign.
In hindsight he should have probably been a bit more careful when sleeping with someone who wasn't his ex wife, but it had been a bad week, he let his body not burn through the effects of the alcohol in his system; and honestly it had been over two hundred years since the last time he got pregnant.
He might have forgotten that Lilith wasn't the exception to the rule, he was, angelic biology and all that.
So here he was, heavens perfect idiot pacing in his room trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do.
One choice was already made however, he wasn't going too get rid of it.
Just because this small being was stuck with him as it's mother didn't mean he wouldn't face the consequences of his actions, he was fully prepared to raise this child alone without anyone else; he didn't need anyone else the last two times he had someone else he was forced to live without his children.
No one would take this one from him.
Of course there was also the issue of trying to hide a whole ass person from a hotel full of noisy demons who lived for gossip, Angel Dust being the prime example.
He liked the spider, he did but Angel couldn't keep a secret to save his afterlife and given how much he liked to flirt with danger both figuratively and literally; the news would be out before the day was over.
"Were fucked" Lucifer sighed as he fell back into his bed, one of his hands moving to his stomach automatically.
There wasn't a bump yet but given who the father was it wouldn't be long before he started to show.
He couldn't let Alastor find out.
The demon had already made it clear that night had been a one off drunken mistake, no matter what Lucifer secretly wished. In the end the deer demon was someone who would take advantage of any connection to power, and a child connected to the king of hell would be a way in.
It wasn't like he couldn't just snap his fingers and be rid of Alastor but Charlie would never forgive him and despite his nature Lucifer was attracted to that stupid smiling freak so there went two reasons he couldn't just kill him an be done with it all.
Grabbing a pillow and snapping his fingers to soundproof his room he screamed into the material.
Why was his life so stupidly complicated!
He could hide this, it wouldn't be that hard after all it wasn't like anyone beyond the sin's, Lilith and Paimon knew the truth about Charlie's birth.
Everyone else in hell assumed it was Lilith who had their daughter clearly forgetting the queen was the first sinner.
Yes, he could easily hide the pregnancy with a glamor and hiding whatever scent his body would give off sooner or later; Alastor might be under the assumption all sinner's had when it came to who had Charlie but even that stupid buck would figure out what was going on.
Of all animals why did he have to be a deer!?
He refused to admit that was one of the reasons he was attracted to the other, those cervine features an his unfairly tall frame.
Sue him he had a type, tall, dark and dangerous.
And possibly someone else who'd end up breaking his heart.
Flopping onto his side on the bed Lucifer held the pillow close much like a stress ball.
Even if Alastor did find out it wasn't like he'd assume it was his anyway, Lucifer could easily make up a lie about it being some random hellborn's it wasn't like he didn't sometimes take a succubus or imp to bed even before he and Lilith had split.
It was an easy lie to believe.
But of course their came the issue of after the child was born, what features would they have? Would they inherite Alastor's features more or be like Charlie and be his copy? He could hide any deer features and smell but magic was another issue.
Eldritch magic was rare even in hell, only the family it was named after and those who lived in Leviathan's ring had the most access to such power. But every once and awhile a sinner would spawn with those abilities usually due to some connection to such art's in their time alive.
Given the reasons Alastor was in hell it didn't surprise him too much, after all he practically did Lucifer a favor by killing all those Overlords several decades ago they had been getting to vocal about heaven anyway.
Not that he would ever let that prick know about that, the last thing the Radio Demon needed was another ego boost.
But back to his current issues, if the baby had it's father's powers their was very little Lucifer would be able to do too hide that fact.
He also would have to tell Charlie as well, they had just begun repairing their relationship after so many year's apart. Would she hate him for giving her a sibling when they were only just making some headway in their own relationship, would she even want a sibling!?
The more logical part of his brain was telling him to calm down that Charlie would listen, that she wouldn't hate him, that even if she didn't take the news well she wouldn't chase him away from her life.
He had to believe in his darling light.
Soon, he'd tell her soon. Maybe after a nap because this kid was currently draining his energy levels, not uncommon Charlie had done much the same when he was carrying her.
Though as his mind began to slip into sleep a stray thought did come to Lucifer, he hoped the baby would have Alastor's ears.
Something was wrong with her dad.
When most thought of Charlotte Morningstar the first thing's that came to mind were naive and stupid, the princess was very much aware of how she was viewed by the sinner's of Pride but still if she could help those that wanted it then that was enough.
Despite what the public believed she wasn't as naive as they thought, nor was she stupid. She knew not all sinner's deserved redemption some were in hell for a good reason, sinner's like Vee's were a good example especially Valentino.
But some didn't deserve to be here like Angel Dust, when he never had a chance during his life being born into a Mafia family, coping with drugs and sex, having to kill from a young age because it was expected of him.
Why couldn't heaven see that Angel was trying despite the lot he got in life.
So as Charlie was thinking, she wasn't as out of touch as most would think.
And she had definitely noticed the change in his behaviors for nearly two month's.
It all started a week or two after her dad and Alastor got into one of their arguments an ended up breaking The Wall in said argument.
Sure locking two people who couldn't stand each other in a room and then telling them to sort out their issues like adults instead of toddlers might have been a step to far; and maybe she shouldn't have threatened her dad's ducks and Alastor's right to privacy to keep them from portaling out.
But she was on her last rope! It had been months since the battle with the exorcist, heaven was quiet so her dad was understandably worried and they had to rebuild the hotel all over again.
The lost of Sir Pentious still hung over them all no longer an oppressive blanket but a reminder that he was gone. The only positive was that Cherri Bomb started staying at the hotel after that, taking care of the single eggboi that had been left behind.
But she just wanted the only two parental figures in her life to stop fighting already, it brought back to many childhood memories she'd rather keep repressed and buried even if it was unhealthy for as long as possible.
They stayed in there the whole day before agreeing to at least try not to break the hotel, though she heard the 'no promises' in Alastor's tone.
Which then led to another week of petty behavior and pranks that were at least pretty harmless. Alastor mixing a red tie with her dad's white laundry, her dad creating a semi sentient duck that followed Alastor around but would portal away when it was caught, Alastor feeding her dad a hell duck, her dad replacing Alastor's sinner meat stash with vegetables instead.
And then the very memorable assassination of Sir Quacker's her father's favorite plush duck, due to Charlie winning it for her dad during a trip to Lulu World as a child. His severed head was discovered in her father's bed and that was probably the closest the devil came to killing Alastor.
After that she drew the line and finally snapped that she'd kick them both out if they kept up this behavior, they were causing needless property damage and scaring away what few sinner's came to check out the place.
She regret saying that at the crushed looked on her father's face but she was so tired of their fighting, he vanished before Charlie could get another word in while Alastor clearly hadn't taken her threat seriously; instead making a jab at her dad again.
Then the next day that's when things took a turn and made the young demoness wonder if she was in the Twilight Zone.
Her dad came out of his room which was weird into itself given his habit to isolate when things really hurt him and Alastor to her surprise was the one to stay in his room. Usually the Radio Demon would be down here setting her father off and trying to make sure Charlie took his side.
She knew why he did it, she just took his side sometimes because her father wouldn't.
Charlie had meant to check in on her hotelier but she got into a bit of a deep talk with her dad instead, him explaining he'd be out of her hair before the day was over so he wouldn't cause her anymore problems.
That had led to alot of crying, begging and some talking that they should have done back in the beginning.
But once she assured her dad that she wasn't going to kick him out permanently and she would have only wanted space for a bit, she moved onto talking about Alastor.
That's when her dad froze up a blink and you'd miss it reaction as he said that they could talk about that later, him and Alastor already had another talk about their situation and that's why the demon was holed up in his room.
At the time Charlie had believed him, Alastor rarely lost his composure but something about her dad really set him off so the fact he was staying away after such a conversation gave her hope.
Of course things only got stranger after that.
The two of them still bickered and Alastor would still throw cutting remarks at her father when he could. But mostly they now seemed to avoid eachother, both seemed to go out of their way to not even be in the same room unless they had too like the hotels morning meetings.
It wasn't exactly what Charlie wanted, she wanted the two to at least try some form of existing in the same place but Vaggie had stopped her from approaching the two again; the ex exterminator telling her that she had a good heart but the fact she got the two to stop destroying the hotel was a step in the right direction.
Some people just didn't get along, at least no walls were being smashed down anymore.
Maybe the two could tolerate eachother's presence but today wasn't that day.
Which is why her dad's current behavior was even weirder.
Usually he ignored Alastor if he was in a room and pretend he wasn't there until they were forced into an interaction or Alastor made a remark at her father.
Now he was watching him when he thought the overlord wasn't paying attention, it reminded her of the way things were two months ago. Only instead of suspicion there was something else there instead, if her father wasn't the king of hell she would have thought it was apprehension or fear.
But that's impossible what did her dad have to fear in the hotel, especially from Alastor?
There was also this weird buzz in her head everytime she was around her dad, almost like feedback she wasn't sure what it was and even told Vaggie about it.
"It's weird, everytime I ask the other's they say everything feels fine around my dad but-oh maybe I'm overthinking it" Charlie sat on their shared bed, Vaggie right behind her running a brush through her hair as was their nightly routine.
Vaggie hummed a bit before asking a certain question she had on her mind" have you felt it around me before?" Whe stopped her brushing as her girlfriend turned to look at her.
"Actually, yeah, not as strong as it is with dad but it's more like a low hum when I'm around you" To Charlie this still didn't make any sense, though the smile appearing on Vaggie's face told her that the fallen knew something.
"I think some of your angelic powers are starting to show, that hum your feeling is angelic grace it's normal for angelic beings to feel it around eachother" Vaggie remembered when she had been made how loud everyone else felt to her" you start to tune it out once you get used to it, your dad's a Seraphim so his grace is alot stronger than mine"
Vaggie was one of the lower ranking angels in heaven, exorcist were even lower than Winners since at least they were human souls once.
"Really!? So that's what it's like for you and dad-wait does that mean he knew you were an angel before I did!" The thought suddenly hit the princess that her father had probably known before her" why didn't he say anything that day!?"
"I think he assumed you knew hun" Vaggie maneuvered her taller girlfriend back into their original position so she could finish getting the knots out of the princesses hair.
Charlie pressed a hand to her face at that one" Yeah, he would have assumed and he wouldn't have said anything" that explained why he seemed amused when she told her father that Vaggie was a fallen exorcist.
"I can help you tune out the noise if you'd like" Vaggie offered as it was rather annoying when you couldn't shut off that part of yourself.
"I'd love that!" Learning anything new about her girlfriend was something she loved and if this was an excuse for some extra private time with her angel.
Well sue her.
But things only seemed to get louder around her dad and by the fourth month of his odd behavior, she finally decided to confront him.
"Dad, we need to talk"