Actions

Work Header

A Coldness That You Can't Shake Off

Summary:

Late-night hotel stays, conversations leading nowhere, and a coldness that never fully leaves you when you want to be close to someone but can't.

Notes:

The fragments of this idea sat untouched on my laptop for almost two years. Finally sat down, put the pieces together, and managed to string them up into...something. I dared being a little experimental with the ending and some minor stylistic choices. Please forgive me for that, and take this for what it is.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

When the rain fell, it came down gentle at first, and then all at once. The first drops hit the ground just as Aki lowered his stance, muscles strained and shaking, from his finishing attack. Today's target Devil lay slain, its still twitching innards strewn around in the wake of the battle, painting the interception red. The raindrops were almost unnoticeable at first, as they joined in with the drops of blood dripping from lamp posts and streetlights, just short of falling into rhythm with Aki's laboured breaths. The time it took Aki to sheath his sword barely enough before the skies opened. Another split moment to turn around, to look at the Angel Devil, before he was already fully drenched as the rain came down hard on both of them.

The Angel Devil's hair was plastered against his face, his mouth half-open, staring at Aki.

"Let's head back."

Watered down blood that had been splattered across his face and in his hair was running down Angel's temple and over his cheeks.

"…Yes."

-

By the time they made it back to their Public Safety administered accommodations, their suits were clinging to their bodies, wet and nasty. Everything was uncomfortably sticky, and Aki couldn't tell which of the wetness was the rain, his sweat, or left-over gore. Running had kept him sufficiently warm but as soon as Aki entered the hotel lobby, the chill kept creeping in fast. The hotel was fine, for all intents and purposes. It served its function. The room was small, but it had two beds, a shower, a large window, and no sensitive smoke detection. Therefore, it had everything Aki really needed.

After making it back into their room, Aki carefully placed his sword against the wall next to the bed he had claimed as his the previous night. It hadn't been a particularly difficult hunting job, yet it had required them to take an overnight stay just slightly further to the outskirts of the larger Tokyo metropolitan area. The little thud of the door closing told him that Angel had entered behind him.

"Do you want to shower first?" Aki asked into the room, wrenching his drenched jacket off his shoulders. It clung to his arms.

"I don't need to."

Angel hadn't moved at all, still standing in the small entrance way.

"It's cold. You'll get sick."

"I can't get sick."

Aki folded his jacket over the single chair in the room where it started dripping onto the floor.

"It's cold", he repeated.

"It is cold."

Aki sighed. He grabbed some dry, clean clothes from his bag: a sweater, sweatpants, boxers.

"I'll shower first."

"Okay."

The bathroom door clicked as Aki locked it behind him, more out of habit than anything.

Ridding himself of the rest of his clothes, Aki stepped onto off-white shower tiles, and under the slightly rusty shower head. There indeed was a coldness that permeated into the marrow of his bones. The spray of hot water unto his skin didn't help.

When Aki reemerged out of the bathroom, the Angel Devil was waiting, towels in hand.

"Careful." he chided, the touch of wet feathers grazing Aki, as Angel wriggled past him before Aki could even fully step out of the door frame. But Angel had already vanished, the door swiftly shut between them.

Aki took another sigh, bending down to rummage through the pockets of his discarded jacket. Angel hadn't even bothered turning on the headlight. Neither did Aki. Fumbling open the package, he pulled out a cigarette. Tomorrow they would head back to Tokyo proper, file the report, drop it off at headquarters. The click of the lighter rang disruptively and hollow in the silence of the room as Aki lit up his smoke. Nothing much to do for tonight. Languidly, he took a drag. Nothing much but waiting the night out. What a bother.

-

The Angel Devil couldn't say he had enjoyed his shower much. More water had done nothing to help with the state of his wings. He hated the way they felt when soaked, heavy, soggy, hard to move. He had taken his time to clean them and dry them off as best as he could, adding more grime to already questionably stained hotel towels. Angel left them where he had dropped them on the floor.

When Angel returned, the world had gotten darker with the setting of the sun, leaving only the light bleeding in from the bath into the hall and the lights of the city outside to slightly illuminate the room. Aki stood by the opened window, his cigarette a small orange dot against the dark of the night, the smoke drifting outside. The smell of nicotine, petrichor, and the scents of a city never fully asleep filling the night air, wavering in and out of the room at the whims of the after-rain breeze.

Aki had his hair down, it was still slightly damp, and the wind was playing gently with it. All of a sudden Angel felt indistinctly agitated.

"Aki?"

The answer was silence, but he knew Aki was listening.

"It's cold."

More silence.

"It is cold." Aki offhandedly tapped his cigarette against the windowsill. Seasons were beginning to change, and fast.

"Put on some warmer clothes, then."

"I didn't bring any."

Perhaps too fast even, for the world to catch up.

Aki turned, giving him a brief look-over, as Angel stood there in just his boxers, lightly rubbing at his arms, if only for show or in a genuine attempt to generate warmth, Angel didn't quite know either. Both perhaps. Or just out of a general notion of discomfort.

With a flick of his wrist, the remains of Aki's cigarette were discarded into the night - for a second, a small, bright dot against the dark before it vanished forever.

Wearily, Aki got up, crossed the room in just a few steps, before pulling something from his bag, which he threw at Angel without any fuss.

Angel caught it with as much ease, fumbling a bit before getting a steady grip. The fabric was soft, and when he put it on, Aki's sweater was too big on Angel. At least that meant it had just enough additional space to force it over his wings, and they felt only somewhat cramped.

"Thank you."

Aki simply nodded, stepping back, to shut the window. The room still smelled faintly of smoke. Something the Angel Devil had gotten used to while travelling and working with Aki. That smell, it lingered, clung to everything, and made up some of the distinctly familiar notes that comprised Aki's scent. He could smell it on the sweater. Angel couldn't say he minded it much.

After a moment, Angel sat down on the bed. "It has gotten dark."

"It is getting late."

Angel let his back hit the mattress, his feet dangling from the bed. The position was somewhat uncomfortable with his wings trapped inside the sweater and now also underneath him.

"Try and get some sleep. We're leaving early tomorrow."

Angel was staring straight up at the ceiling, even though it was neither particularly interesting nor actually identifiable in the semi-darkness.

"Good night, Aki," he said finally, if simply for lacking the words to say anything different.

-

Despite what he had instructed Angel to do, Aki lay wide awake. And for all that was worth, he knew Angel wasn't sleeping either. The only thing that had happened was that Aki had lost track of time. He couldn't tell if he had been lying under the too thin covers, listening to Angel not even pretending he was asleep, for half-an hour, or three.

"Aki?"

He didn't answer but he was sure that Angel knew, that he was listening.

"It's cold."

What else was there to say, anyway?

"It is cold."

The shuffling of bed sheets was followed by soft foot steps on the floorboards.

For a moment, Angel simply stood above his bed, silently contemplating. Aki's eyes were adjusted enough to the dim light to make out his shape, not enough to make out his expression. The light emanating from the Devil's halo was casting deep shadows over his eyes. There usually wasn't much to be found in Angel's face anyway. Except for his eyes, his features tended to remain aggravatingly impassive. Even now Aki could never be sure he read Angel's intentions right.

On just such a notion, Aki rolled over instinctively, moving as far to the edge as the space allowed.

Only then, the Angel Devil's figure moved to climb unto the bed with him, the mattress, which was really only meant for one person, creaking and dipping under the added weight. Laying down on top of the covers, Angel was now facing him. He had kept a careful distance which, in that narrow single bed, could barely be considered safe. At least, the Devil had been cautious enough to hide his hands away inside the too long sleeves of Aki's sweater, as not to risk brushing Aki's skin on accident.

With the added proximity, and the soft glow of his halo illuminating them both, Aki was able to better see Angel's face. As expected. Nothing. Nothing besides that curious look that only ever reached Angel's eyes; the one he seemingly had reserved specifically for Aki, that unnerving way in which Angel usually regarded him, as if Aki were something he did not quite understand, yet was determined to figure out. Or maybe that was all in Aki's head, and it meant nothing at all.

Angel kept staring at him, unblinking. And Aki was looking back, unsure of what it was that he was hoping to find. A few loose strands of Angel's hair were falling over his cheek bones, framing Angel's delicate features gracefully. Angel looking ethereal was hardly any consolation for the matter that Aki couldn't follow the sudden urge to reach out to brush them away. His hand twitched, yet he kept it precisely where it was, clutched at his side above the sheets.

"It's still cold," Angel whispered, and Aki imagined he could feel the warmth of the Devil's breath against his skin. It made him shiver.

"You could have brought the blanket."

Angel shrugged, then frowned - and Aki wasn't sure if it was a sudden change in the light from outside or a trick of his eyes caused by the strain of keeping them focused in the dark for so long, but there seemed to be a faint blush on Angel's cheeks.

"But I didn't."

Reaching out at last, Aki carefully tugged on Angel's sleeve. Angel watched Aki withdraw his hand again, fidgeting where he lay, clearly hesitant to move, and instead just burying his hands even deeper into his sleeves. Nothing about this felt fair. In response, Aki opened his arms, inviting Angel to move closer. In the end, what did it matter?

Angel bit his lip in contemplation, not moving an inch.

"It is cold," Aki heard himself say.

"It is cold," Angel repeated, his eyes flickering from Aki's face to his outstretched arms, and back again, before finally inching just that little bit closer into Aki's arms. Aki put his hands on Angel's waist, gently pulling him tighter against him, as Angel leaned into the embrace, resting his forehead against Aki's chest. Then they just lay still for a while.

"Your hands are warm," Angel said after a moment, his voice sounding strangely absent.

"Are they? Someone once told me that they feel like ice." Aki paused, trying hard not to think about long gone winter days spent playing in the snow.

Angel shook his head.

"Humans have warm hands."

"And Devils don't?"

"I wouldn't know."

There was silence, only more of Angel fidgeting against him before suddenly going still.

"Do I have warm hands?"

Aki said nothing but he was rubbing slow circles against the small of Angel's back.

"You don't remember."

Aki didn't.

"You do."

Angel did.

"It doesn't matter if you don't."

"Remember?"

"Have warm hands."

It really did not matter, did it not? It didn't matter and it wasn't fair. Neither of them would ever feel the touch of the other's hand again, at least not skin against skin.

"Are you feeling warmer?"

"I do."

He didn't.

The night felt undeniably colder than it ever did before.

Notes:

Thank you for reading, it means a lot!
Please let me know what you think.

I am honestly just relieved I managed to put some personal writing out again, even if it is not much, even if it is not perfect.

You can reach out to me on my socials, if you want to:
bsky: fleance.bsky.social
tumblr: [email protected]
twitter: @FL3ANC3