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Jay felt out of place, and Edna could see it.
She could see it in the way he held himself, stiff and tense, as if he was ready for any attack on all sides. It was in the way he would look around any new room with worry and caution, his hand on the hilt of the knife he always kept at his belt, how he would stand beside any exit doors in case he had to make a quick escape. The only place he seemed to feel comfortable was their home, as he would sit in front of the fireplace with his back to the door, his shoulders relaxed, his breathing even. It was when he was away from the familiar walls of Ed and Edna’s house that he got scared.
It was painful to see her once outgoing son shy away from people he didn’t know, and even people he did, or, at least used to, but Edna was just glad to have him back, even if he wasn’t fully there.
No matter how much Ed and Edna talked about Jay’s childhood, about the junkyard, Jay didn’t seem to remember it. They asked him every night at supper if he remembered anything more, and he couldn’t ever say that he did.
“I don’t remember you.” He admitted one night, softly, as if he was scared of the words, “But I feel safe when you’re both around.”
The Jay before the Merge would’ve never admitted such a thing, but this Jay did. Once again, Edna was reminded about how much he longed for comfort and love, two things that he hadn’t experienced in too long. How his life was full of fear and worry before he found his way back to them.
He didn’t speak of his past in the Merged Realm very often, but Edna knew that it was painful and so, so lonely. She wasn’t surprised when Jay decided to stay with them for longer, possibly even permanently, because surely a life with kind strangers was better than a life on the run, alone.
And one day she hoped that they wouldn’t be strangers to him.
But today, Jay stood by the door of the grand hall of the village, watching warily as everyone passed by him. Edna kept her eye on him, worried that something would startle him and he would run. She needed to be able to get to him before he did, if it happened. The smells of the room tried to distract her, but she wouldn’t let it.
“Edna, dear, how much potatoes do you think Jay would want?”
“A scoop should be fine, dear.”
Ed nodded beside her, and reached for the spoon, no doubt going to fill Jay’s plate as well as his.
“Don’t stare too much, we don’t want to draw attention to him.” Ed said softly, and Edna knew that he was right. Her staring would make others look at Jay too, but she was just so scared that he would leave them again. He had already been with them for two weeks, so chances he would leave were small, but she was still equally terrified of losing him at that moment than she had been that first night.
She reluctantly looked back to the table in front of her, reaching for the bread buns, and placing one on her plate. The table was filled with all sorts of foods, most similar to what would be served in a classic Christmas feast, yet altered to fit the foods that they had available. Duck instead of turkey, sweet potatoes instead of yellow or white, and a strange purple vegetable instead of carrots.
People from the village surrounded the table, pilling their plates high, mostly everyone smiling brightly. Even though Christmas was days away, according to Ninjago’s calendar, everyone wanted to celebrate early. There was no reason not to, and with the joy felt around the village at the aspect of a community feast, they didn’t want to wait.
Yet Edna knew that not everyone was happy, and as she walked over to Jay with Ed to give Jay his plate of food, they saw Ray and Maya walk up to him. Maya had a strained smile on her face, but anyone could see that she was worried and a little bit upset. Ray wasn’t even trying to hide his displeasure. And Jay looked immediately uncomfortable.
Edna knew what this was about, and all she could think was not right now, please. Please not when I just got him back.
“Ed…”
“I see it, dear.”
The two walked faster, dodging around the people who mingled about, watching as Ray and Maya got closer. Edna could see her son tighten himself against the wall, his hands twitching, reaching for the knife at his side, before pulling back. But Edna wasn’t sure how long he would be able to fight the instincts he developed post-Merge.
“Jay! Son, I got your food! I got you a little extra of that weird veggie, I still can’t believe you like the thing.” Ed interrupted, finally reaching them, and stood in between Maya, Ray and Jay. Maya slowed down, frowning, but Ray continued forward. Ed quickly handed the food to Jay, who took it hesitantly, keeping a steady gaze on the two people in front of him, holding his breath.
“Ray, Maya. Well, golly gee, what a surprise!” Ed continued, pasting a smile on his face. “I thought that you two wern’t going to be here.”
“Quit it, Ed. Jay is going to tell us where our kids are, and I’m not leaving until I know.” Ray snapped, and Edna quickly went to Jay’s side, catching his hand as it shot for his knife. Jay fought her for a moment, before relaxing in her grip, letting his hand rest in hers. His face was pale, and he was shaking, with what Edna didn’t know.
“How am I supposed to know who your kids are? I don’t even know you! I don’t know where they are!” Jay replied with a snarl. Yet, anyone could hear the waver in his voice.
“He lost his memory.” Edna exclaimed quickly. “Give him time to get used to life here before we think about his past.”
“She’s right, Ray. Let’s just enjoy a nice meal with good food, and deal with this some other time.” Ed added, but Ray shook his head.
“We don’t have time. For all we know they could be dying out there, and Jay might know where they are. We can save them, and you won’t let us? Is that what I’m hearing?”
Edna knew what it felt like to not know where your kid was, if they were alive, if they were okay. She knew the fear that must plague Ray and Maya every night, the sadness, the anger at not being able to help them, but she knew Jay wasn’t ready to face those questions. He had barely begun to get comfortable here, and asking him questions about what he went though could push him over the edge. He might run from them. If they didn’t be careful, she would lose Jay, and Ray and Maya wouldn’t get any more info on where Kai and Nya were, too.
Jay wasn’t ready for this.
“We’ll find them, but now is not the time to discuss it.”
Despite Edna’s words, Maya looked from Edna to Jay, her eyes pleading. “Jay, please. Do you have any idea where Kai and Nya are? If they’re even alive? Have you seen them in your travels?
Jay’s eyes grew distant for a moment, and it seemed as if the slight red in his eyes consumed more of the blue. His eyebrows furrowed, and suddenly, with a cry of frustration, he threw the plate in his hands at the wall. Edna jolted at the crash, her hand slipping out of Jay’s, and stepped back.
He was shaking. His shoulders trembled with what looked like anger, and his eyes were closed tightly, his fingers curled into his palms. Once again, Edna wasn’t sure if she was looking at her son, or a man who had lost everything good within him.
“Jayー” Ed began, but Jay turned to him, fury in his eyes.
“Leave me alone!” He screamed, and Edna could feel everyone's eyes on them. Jay didn’t seem to care, and with a swift turn, walked out of the building.
The room was silent, and Edna couldn’t help but feel afraid of what was going to happen next. Was Jay going to leave the village? Should she go after him, or would he hurt her? Was she going to lose her son again?
“Ray, Maya, I respect you both a whole lot, but Jay is our son.” Ed said sternly, turning to them, worry in his eyes. “He’s in a very frail state, and as his father I’m going to do whatever I can to help him through it. From here on out, I want you to respect the boundaries we set with you.”
“Jay’s an adult, he can speak for himself, can’t he? When he’s not throwing tantrums, of course.” Ray replied bitterly, and Maya put her hand on his shoulder, trying to pull him away.
Edna was thankful that Ed spoke up. “He can, but he’s going through a rough patch. After everything he’s done for Ninjago and your kids, your patience is the least he deserves.”
“Ray.” Maya said, turning to her husband. “They’re right. If Nya were here she would want us to help him, not demand answers for things he might not even know.”
“I know you’re both hurting.” Edna said, stepping forward. “But please give him time. He’s been through a whole lot, and we don’t know any of it. If he tells us anything about Kai or Nya, we’ll tell you. We want them to be found too.”
Ray took a minute to calm down, his angry scowl turning to a frown. “I…I’m sorry. I just…I need them to be okay.”
Ed nodded his forgiveness, and as much as Edna wanted to stay and make sure things were right between them, she knew that Jay might be running away right now, and they needed to stop him.
“We should go find Jay, dear.”
“Golly, we should! Hopefully he hasn’t left!”
Maya nodded. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
With those words said, Ed and Edna rushed outside, leaving their plates abandoned inside. Silently, they made their way home, hoping that he took some time to pack before leaving. Yet, as they stepped through the doorway anxiously, they could see him sitting in front of the fireplace, on the worn sofa. He was wrapped in a soft blanket, breathing heavily. With a quick glance around the room, Edna could see his knife on the kitchen table, stabbed through the wood so the blade stood up straight. She didn’t mind, it was better there than in anything else.
“Jay, dear? Are you okay?” She asked, moving to his side slowly, and he shook his head no. “Can I help with anything? Do you want something to eat?”
He didn’t reply, instead choosing to stare at the fire, his fingers tangling into the blanket. Edna could hear some shuffling behind her, but didn’t pay it any attention. Instead, she wrapped her arm around Jay’s shoulder’s letting him lean into her if he wanted. He didn’t, but she could feel him relax under her touch.
“I hate her.” Jay muttered, and Edna had to lean forward to hear him.
“Who?”
“Nya.”
The words were like a slap in the face, and Edna had to hold back a cry of shock. Jay hated Nya? For the longest time, he was madly in love with her, devoted to her with every bone in his body, and now he hated her? What happened?
She had to remind herself that telling him what used to be wouldn’t help. She had to be patient.
“Why do you hate her?”
His eyes became distant once more, and he was silent once again, clearly not willing to give an answer. She wouldn’t push him, despite the questions and concerns that plagued her. They sat in silence for a while, before Ed called them to the kitchen. Jay reluctantly got up, but still had the blanket around his shoulders, holding onto it tightly, as if letting it go would injure him.
On the kitchen table, Ed had set up an old board game that they had found abandoned in their travels, Dragons and Ravines, a game that Jay used to love as a kid. It was a simple game, yet would keep Jay happy for hours. This copy wasn’t their original, all of the board games they owned had been lost in the Merge, but it was still in decent shape.
And, Jay wouldn’t notice a difference in the two, no matter how badly Edna would want him to.
“What is it?” Jay asked, his eyes sparking with what looked to be a hint of curiosity, yet still muted by the despair that clouded them.
“This is one of my favorite games. You travel across the board, trying to get to the top. If you hit a ravine, you fall back down a few spaces. If you hit a dragon, you can fly up a few spaces. Care to try, son? It’s easy!” Ed explained, and Edna studied Jay’s face, looking for any hint of recognition.
Instead, she got a small smile.
“Sure.”
Edna matched his smile, and sat beside Jay, picking out the blue playing pieces and handing them to Jay, who took them hesitantly. As Ed began walking Jay though it once again, Edna found her mind wandering back to Jay’s words, and the confusion with what happened with Nya. Deep in her heart she wondered if whatever happened to Jay and Nya would break the two apart when they were reunited, destroying the love they had, but she dismissed the thought.
Post-Merge life had taught her to take things one day at a time. It took patience, and practice, but it was the only thing she could do. Nya wasn’t here right now; Edna couldn’t fix whatever happened between them. But she could play this board game with her son and husband, and help bring Jay peace after a rough day.
It was something she was happy to do.
Queer_Bookworm_97 Sun 13 Jul 2025 02:14PM UTC
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