Work Text:
Sophos lifted his head off the table at the sound of a plate being placed in front of him.
“Oh, thank the gods,” he said, staring at the beautiful plate of cakes before him.
“I thought they’d never get here,” Gen said, gaze equally intense as he reached for a sticky cake. The two men were ravenous after a grueling morning sparring session, Gen egging on Sophos for round after round until neither of them could hold their sword properly anymore. Sitting at the table, they found it difficult to even hold their torsos up.
Sophos served himself as well. “I could eat five cakes.”
“I could eat ten.”
“You could not eat ten cakes, Gen.”
Gen looked affronted. “I absolutely could.”
Sophos laughed, cake in hand. “Whatever you say.”
“And you think you could eat ten?”
“I never said I could.” Sophos shoved a piece of cake in his mouth. Through a mouthful of crumbs he said, “But I could.”
Attolis and Sounis stared at each other across the table for so long that the attendants around them began to grow worried.
“Nico,” Sounis said at last, “bring us all the cakes from the kitchens.”
“Ion, go with him,” Attolis said.
The two men nodded and made their way toward the door before Eugenides recalled them. “I’m worried what you just heard was ‘bring us a lot of cake from the kitchen.’ What Sounis said was all the cake from the kitchen. Do you understand?”
Warily, both men nodded.
*
The kings eyed the towers of cakes laid out before them— all of the cakes from the Eddisian kitchen, per their request. It was an obscene number of cakes. Enough to feed an entire palace, one might say, which was clear to everyone not involved in the wager. But Eugenides was never one to back down from a challenge, and living amongst the Eddisians had turned Sophos into a competitive better who could hold his own amongst his wife’s relatives.
“I can’t believe you think you can eat more cake than me.”
“Gen, I’m twice your size. Of course I can eat more cake than you.”
“You’re overconfident. You’ve seen how much I can eat when I’m determined.”
“Sure, when you haven’t had a real meal in months.”
“You’re stalling.”
Sophos rolled his eyes and waved at the cakes, indicating they should begin. Each king designated two attendants to keep score—one was assigned to themself, the second to the other king, in a bid to keep the count as fair as possible.
Sophos and Gen shook hands, and each took a bite of their first cake.
*
The cakes in question were a particular speciality of the Eddisian kitchens. Thin dough was shredded and baked together with custard, resulting in a soft, delicate cake. It was then drizzled with lemon syrup and sliced into squares, often enjoyed for breakfast. The cakes were filling, and ordinarily one or two, paired with fruit and coffee, was sufficient for a meal.
Eugenides had eaten six. Sophos had eaten seven.
Sophos dropped the cake he was midway through and paused, hand raised to his mouth.
Eugenides, sensing weakness, pounced. “Getting full, Sophos?”
Sophos belched. “Nope. Just making room.”
The attendants around them were in varying states of amused, irritated, or bored, although most hid it well. Sounis’s attendants had expected to go out hunting, but then Sounis had declined to instead spend the day with Eugenides. He had sent some of them off anyway, as had Eugenides, but they would not leave their kings unattended, so some of the men had drawn the short straw. Forced to watch their kings’ absurd contest instead of hunting on horseback, the attendants turned to a less dignified sport.
“There’s no way Eugenides can beat Sounis,” one of the attendants murmured safely out of earshot.
“I don’t know,” Ion responded, just as quietly. “I have seen our king do impossible things.”
“Two silver cities says this won’t be one of them.”
“Too rich for my blood.”
“Two staters then.”
“All right, you’re on.”
*
“Gen…I think this may have been a mistake.” Sophos’s stomach hurt worse than he could ever remember it hurting, including when he was seasick mid-kidnapping. He had managed fourteen cakes before the pain grew so sharp he could no longer ignore it.
Beside him, Eugenides had his knees pulled up to his chest and head tipped against his knees. He groaned.
“Your Majesties,” one of the attendants said. Neither king looked up to find out whose attendant it was. “Should we call for the palace physician?”
“No,” they both said in unison.
“The hunting party is expected back shortly, and there is to be dinner and dancing this evening. And a very loud concert.”
Eugenides groaned again, louder still. Sounis waved his hand. “Fine, fine, get Galen.”
*
The queens had had a fine day of hunting. They returned to the Eddisian palace in good spirits, a large hunting party in tow. After years of animosity between them, their friendship had blossomed, and they had come to enjoy their shared interests and hobbies more than anything. Eddis and Attolia made their way to the royal breakfast room, where the seneschal had informed them their husbands waited for them.
It was only when they arrived in the royal quarters that they discovered Eddis’s seneschal hadn’t been entirely forthright.
Eddis found herself bumping into Attolia, who had frozen on the doorway. Beyond her, Eugenides was throwing up into a bowl. Not far from him, Sophos was doing the same.
“What is happening?” Attolia asked in horror, taking in the scene—attendants crowded around, Galen stood nearby watching the kings. “Have they been poisoned?”
“No, My Queen,” Ion reassured her. “My King bet Sounis that he could eat more cake than him.” He gestured at the two sick kings. “This has been the end result.”
“And why have you not done anything?” Attolia snapped at Eddis’s physician, worry for her husband making her temper short.
“I did,” Galen said shortly. When Attolia’s eyes grew wide, he raised a hand, forestalling whatever might come next. “They have to get it out of their systems, Your Majesty.”
Eddis, still behind her, held onto the doorframe to keep herself from falling to the floor. She was in tears of laughter, her whole body shaking with glee. “Who won?”
“Your Majesty?” Ion, closest to the queens, asked.
She waved him off. “Which one of you won?” she called out to the kings.
“I did,” Sophos said weakly, before lurching forward and throwing up again.
“That’ll teach you to—” Gen broke off, was sick again into his own pot, then straightened up “—challenge me to anything.”
Eddis, gripping Attolia’s arm now, was grinning a mile wide. “Oh I can’t wait to tell my cousins about this.”