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“God, it’s even worse than I was expecting. I figured you’d be drowning your sorrows, but this is taking it to a whole new level. You’re flat out wallowing.”
Stirring awake to the sound of a voice that should decidedly not be in his apartment, Zoro blinks the sleep out of his good eye and stares up at the orange tinted blur that’s currently hovering above him.
“T’fuck are you doing here?” He mumbles, rubbing his eye to help him focus better. “It’s Friday. Don’t you have to be at work?”
Thanks to the rubbing, Nami’s face solidifies enough so that he can see not only her unimpressed frown, but also the hint of worry lurking in her eyes. He refuses to feel guilty about either of those things.
“It’s Saturday.” She finally huffs after several moments of him lying back in stubborn silence have passed. “You apparently drank away Thursday night and all of Friday.”
Oh. Well. That probably explains the worry, but he’s still going to pass on the guilt regardless. After all, it’s been barely a month since the love of his life had told him to go take a hike and cut off all communication between them. He’s entitled to some ongoing depression under the circumstances.
“You still haven’t answered my question.” He says after Nami lapses back into silence. She’s always been annoyingly good at waiting him out. “Why are you here?”
Nami arches one perfectly plucked eyebrow and makes a show of glancing pointedly around the living room. “It’s been over a week since anyone’s heard from you, and some of the others were getting worried. I drew the short straw in coming to check that you hadn’t choked on your own puke or, I don’t know - ”
She eyes a specific corner of the room and sniffs audibly. “Been crushed to death by a stack of empty takeout containers as the case may be. God, Zoro, when was the last time you cleaned this place? Or ate a vegetable for that matter?”
Zoro crosses his arms over his chest with a huff but refuses to follow her gaze. He knows the apartment has seen better days, but it’s not like he has much reason to tidy it up at the moment now, does he? And as for the other thing, well, he definitely doesn’t want to talk about that.
“I’m fine.” He says, despite the literal mountain of evidence to the contrary. “You came all the way out here for nothing.”
“You’d better hope I didn’t, or I swear I’ll fucking bill you for the pain and suffering.” Picking her way gingerly around the floor, Nami prods at him until he sits up properly and shuffles over to make room on the couch for her. “God, it’s not just the apartment that stinks. When did you last shower? And please don’t say it was the day of the breakup because I will literally vomit.”
“Calm down, Witch.” Zoro grunts, scowling down at his hands. “I’ve showered this month. I promise.”
“What about this week?” She asks, and Zoro doesn’t have to be looking at her to picture the way she’s wrinkling her nose. “Because I’m not so sure I’d bet on that.”
Zoro tries to think about it, but his impending hangover chooses this exact moment to kick in, so he winds up wincing instead. “Can you go now?” He asks, bringing his hands up to massage his temples with his fingertips. “In case it’s somehow escaped your notice, I’m not exactly in the mood for entertaining company.”
“To be fair, you never really are.” Nami notes. “Hosting shit was always more Sanji’s thing than yours.”
Zoro growls. “I don’t want to talk about the Cook.”
“You may not want to,” Nami replies with surprising delicacy, “but I think you need to. I mean, look around you. I think it’s safe to say you’re not handling the split well.”
“It’s barely been a month!” Zoro snaps, immediately regretting it when the force of the words makes his head throb. “Excuse me for not getting over the worst thing to ever happen to me in such a short timeframe.”
That pitying look is back in Nami’s eye when he risks looking over at her again, making him wish he hadn’t. For a second he even thinks she might be about to reach out and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, and he’s immensely grateful when she doesn’t, since that might very well break him.
“If - if it helps,” she says stiltedly, “I don’t think he’s doing all that great either.”
“It doesn’t,” Zoro grits out. “Besides, what’s he got to be upset about? He’s the one who ended things, not me. I’m allowed to sulk under the circumstances. That’s how these things work.”
Not that he’d really know that if he’s being honest. The main reason he’s so broken up about everything is that Sanji’s been it for him since they’d met in college at the tender age of nineteen. It’d been love at first kick to the face.
“Anyway,” he adds a little more briskly. “I think it’s safe to say you’ve completed your mission. You stopped by and confirmed that I’m neither dead nor dying, so you can tell Usopp and Chopper and whoever else you drew straws with that I’m good.”
“Please,” Nami snorts. “You may be alive, but that’s a far cry from you being anything near good. I’m not going anywhere until you’ve showered, brushed your teeth, and eaten something that isn’t a minimum three days old and coming from a box. Get up, asshole. We’ve got work to do.”
“Don’t wanna.” He grunts, trying hard not to flinch when she thumps him none too gently on the back of the head. “Ow!”
“Serves you right.” She says, climbing to her feet. “I’m only willing to humor you so much. Get up and get your ass into the bathroom, where I hope to god you have at least one clean towel. When did you last do laundry?”
“Do you really want me to answer that?”
“Urgh.” Making a gagging face, Nami takes a deep breath, like she’s searching for patience, and then visibly relaxes. “Go shower.” She says firmly. “I’ll start dealing with the rest of … this. I don’t want to see you again until both you and the clothes you’re wearing are clean. Is that clear?”
Zoro considers arguing with her, but he recognizes the look in her eye. “Yeah, it’s clear.” He says instead. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
*****
Zoro takes a shower as directed and even manages to unearth some clean clothes from the depths of his closet once he’s done. It’s stuff he doesn’t wear often, which no doubt explains how it’s avoided becoming collateral in his ongoing pity party, but so long as it falls within the scope of Nami’s instructions, he figures he’s good.
He also - something he’s not going to admit under even pain of death - feels better once he’s done. The combination of hot water and fresh clothing have helped him return at least a little bit to the land of the living, even if the face that stares back at him in the bathroom mirror still looks like crap.
“This is all the Cook’s fault.” He tells his reflection, refusing to say Sanji’s name aloud. “And I guess a little bit mine for letting him get so far under my skin.”
His reflection fails to offer up any useful counterpoints, so Zoro shoves himself away from the sink and yanks open the bathroom door. A cloud of steam follows him out into the hallway, indicating that he’d spent more time inside than he’d meant to.
A further indication of this can likewise be found when he wanders into the living room and finds it considerably tidier than it had been when he left it. Also brighter, he notes, squinting at where the curtains have been shoved open to let the midmorning sun in.
“Just so you know, I’ve still got half a mind to send you a bill for my services.” Standing in the kitchen doorway with her hands on her hips, Nami eyes him as he approaches, her mouth curled disdainfully. “This place is a cesspit.”
Shrugging as he shuffles past her, Zoro doesn’t stop moving until he can slump down at the table, taking care to avoid the seat that Sanji had always preferred to claim as his own. “I didn’t ask you to do anything.” He says belatedly. “So I’m not fucking paying you.”
“Oh yes you are,” Nami retorts, turning with him but heading for the stove instead of the table. “You just don’t know how yet. Regardless, come on. The only thing left in your fridge that was still edible were a couple of eggs, so that’s what you’re getting.”
“I’m not hungry.” He says, frowning when his stomach promptly makes a liar out of him by growling. “Fuck off.”
“I didn’t say anything.” Nami insists from where she’s scraping said eggs out of a pan and onto a pair of mismatched plates. “Also, you need to do dishes. I didn’t manage to get to those yet and now that you’re conscious again, I’m going to leave that task to you.”
Zoro waves a hand to acknowledge that he’s heard, but makes no move to agree to do as he’s told. The dishes will either get done or he can always throw them out if it gets too bad. It’s not like he can’t go buy new ones. In fact, since Sanji had picked out more than half the stuff in his kitchen, maybe he should.
“You’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?” Setting down the plates she’s just carried over from the table, Nami makes a tutting sound as she drops down into the chair across from him. “You’ve got that look on your face that you only get when you’ve got Sanji on the brain.”
“Pretty sure that’s just my face at this point.” Zoro mutters, and then has to immediately shovel a forkful of eggs in his mouth before he says anything even more revealing.
Picking up her own fork, Nami moves some eggs around on her plate, but makes no move to start eating. “You’re really struggling right now, aren’t you?”
“No,” Zoro lies. “Obviously, I’m fine. Just because the guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with broke up with me out of nowhere for no reason doesn’t mean I’m not fine. Who wouldn’t be fine under those circumstances?”
“If you say the word fine one more time it’s going to lose all meaning.” Gesturing at him with her fork, Nami props her elbows on the edge of the table and sighs. “You look and sound like crap, and I’m betting you feel even worse.”
“Again, the love of my life walked out on me with no explanation.” Zoro grits out. “How would you feel if Vivi did that to you?”
“Like absolute shit,” Nami replies. “But I also think I’d be in shock because I can’t imagine her ever ending things that way. Just like,” she adds quietly, “I can’t see Sanji doing so either. Come on, Zoro, he must have given you some inkling as to why he was leaving. What happened?”
Zoro stares down at his plate, not wanting her to see the look on his face while both his hands reflexively open and close into fists. “What happened is I came home from a tournament to all his stuff in boxes and him telling me that things ‘weren’t working’ anymore. Then he said he was going to go stay with his old man while he looked for a place of his own, and I haven’t heard from him since. He won’t pick up the phone when I call, and he’s not responding to any of my texts. The end.”
“Okay, but that literally makes no sense.” Nami says, her face screwing up in confusion when Zoro raises his head to look at her. “You guys were, like, disgustingly happy, albeit in your own deranged way, for the better part of five years and then out of the blue that’s it? You’re just done? What the hell?”
“Hey, if I had an explanation I’d give it to you.” Zoro says, even though he’s not one hundred percent certain that’s the truth. “I seriously don’t have a clue, though. I had no idea he was apparently fucking miserable, and he won’t fucking talk to me to try and make it right!”
He accompanies this last word with a fist knocked against the table, heavily enough that it makes the plates jump. “He just up and quit on us without a moment’s hesitation. He ran out on me like a fucking coward.”
“Which is something Sanji is not and never has been.” Nami’s voice is quiet but firm when she speaks, and her expression is serious when he looks over at her. “You know that, Zoro. Don’t pretend like you don’t.”
“Honestly?” Well aware that it’s a sign of weakness, but past the point of caring, Zoro slumps dejectedly in his seat. “I’m starting to think I never really knew him at all. I’ve got a thousand more questions than I do answers and no way to change that because - like I keep telling you - he’s gone completely radio silent.”
“Which is completely impractical thanks to the way that you two run in almost exactly the same circles.” Nami points out. “Unless he’s planning to cut off contact with all of us for good, something we’d never let him get away with, he’s going to have to talk to you eventually.”
“Or we’ll just avoid each other until one of us dies.” Zoro mutters. “Right now, I’d say both options are equally likely.”
“No. They aren’t.” Nami says firmly. “And that’s actually another reason why I’m here to talk to you. I thought about just texting you at first, but then I decided face to face was better since you can’t pretend like you didn’t get the message this way.”
Zoro’s shoulders tense as a result of her ominous choice of wording. Eyeing her warily, he drags his fork over his plate, spreading the remaining bits of eggs back and forth across its surface. “What is it?”
“Christmas.” She says simply. “You know it’s right around the corner, don’t you?”
In all honesty, he’d kind of forgotten. On the other hand, Sanji had broken up with him the week after his birthday which meant that, yeah, Christmas is coming at them fast since that happened in mid-November.
Aloud he says, “Are you actively trying to make me feel worse now?”
Nami scowls at him and reaches across the table to swat at his elbow. “No, dummy!” She hisses, her tone suggesting that she’d like to hit him with something a lot heavier. “I’m leading up to the fact that this time of year usually involves getting together with your loved ones in large groups.”
“I’ll pass, thanks.” Zoro declares, pretty sure he now knows where this is going. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Tough shit,” Nami replies. “You know how Vivi and I bought the house back in September? Well,” she continues on when he reluctantly nods, “she’s been planning a huge get together for our first big holiday in the place. Everyone is invited, and Sanji agreed ages ago to cater the event.”
And Sanji would never back out on a promise to a lady, let alone two and ones he adores as much as Nami and Vivi. That means he’ll be at the party no matter what.
“Cool,” Zoro says then. “Thanks for the heads up. I’ll be sure to stay home that night. Don’t worry, though, I’ll have a few beers in your honor. Maybe a bottle of wine if I’m feeling extra festive.”
“Nice try.” Nami says. “You’re coming, and you’re going to be on your best damn behaviour. Or else.”
“Witch, you are not the boss of me.” Zoro struggles to remind her. “I don’t have to listen to literally anything you just said there.”
In answer, Nami rests her elbows on the table, props her chin in her hands, and smiles.
“Try me.” She says, and Zoro isn’t too proud to admit that he cowers a little in his seat.
*****
Their conversation ends not long after that, and concludes with Nami extracting a promise from him that he’ll attend the Christmas party in three days time. In hindsight, he suspects that part of the reason she’d waited so long to tell him about it was so that he wouldn’t be able to find a way to weasel his way out of it, since that’s exactly the kind of thing she’d do.
It’s also effective. Much though he might wish otherwise, he finds himself standing on her and Vivi’s front porch three days later, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow him so he doesn’t have to go in.
Of course, his luck these days means that what actually happens is the door is unceremoniously flung open and he’s greeted by a delighted screech.
“ZORO! There you are!” Luffy’s voice is loud enough that his words bounce off the surrounding area, probably causing a few of the neighbours to sit up in confusion. “We’ve been waiting forever for you! Everyone else is already here!”
Years of experience allow Zoro to brace for impact when Luffy rockets out of the doorway to wrap himself around every part of his body the younger man can reach. It’s enough preparation to keep him from landing on his ass as a result of the hold, but only just.
“Hey, Luf.” He says, unable to do anything other than stand there thanks to the way Luffy has all of his limbs locked down. “For the record, I’m not even all that late.”
“But you are late.” Luffy admonishes, pulling back far enough so that Zoro can see it when he wrinkles his nose. “And you haven’t been late for anything in forever.”
Zoro closes his eye and breathes in and out through his nose. He’ll never admit it, but the main reason he’d gotten better about not being late for things in recent years is because he’s had Sanji around to keep him on track. Like hell is he telling anyone that though.
“I got tied up.” He says instead. “But I’m here now, so can you get off of me and let me go inside.”
“Sure!” Luffy chirps, beginning the tedious process of extracting himself from the hold. “There’s tons of other people here, so you should come say hi.”
Unbidden, Zoro lets out a quiet sigh of relief. Normally large groups of people aren’t really his thing, but tonight he’s of the opinion that the bigger the crowd the better. That way he’ll have an easier time of avoiding Sanji without it being obvious as to what he’s doing.
The massive house is as heavily decorated for Christmas on the inside as it had been on the outside. Likewise, the sound of Christmas carols is piping in from somewhere, albeit not so loud that people can’t hear each other speak. There’s a steady stream of conversation flowing around him as he moves from room to room, half of the words coming from people he doesn’t recognize.
“Please tell me there’s booze around here somewhere.” He says fervently as he follows Luffy further into the house. There is absolutely no way he’s going to survive tonight without alcohol, even though he’ll have to be careful that he doesn’t indulge too much.
Unsurprisingly, Luffy laughs at his question, and reaches up to adjust his straw hat where it’s sitting on his head. He’s added some holly berries and pine cones to the brim tonight, Zoro notices absently, and they rattle back and forth as the hat moves.
“Yeah, there’s all kinds of stuff.” He says once he’s got the hat settled the way he wants it. “Vivi even convinced Nami to have fancy guys in suits hanging around to serve it. All you have to do is flag one of them down.”
“Vivi convinced Nami to spend money on something that stupid?” Zoro asks, letting out a low whistle as he tries to picture how much that must have cost. “She really does have the Witch wrapped around her finger.”
“I mean, maybe it helped that Sanji’s doing all the food for free?” Luffy suggests innocently, and any amusement Zoro might have been starting to feel immediately vanishes without a trace. “They could be balancing each other out.”
“Right.” Zoro says, now speaking through gritted teeth. “I guess that makes sense.”
Seemingly oblivious to Zoro’s souring mood, Luffy gives him a hearty slap on the back and grins. “Come on, let’s go get you that drink.”
They find an honest to god champagne fountain a few rooms over, as well as Usopp and Kaya standing not far from it. The couple wander over right as Zoro takes a first sip from his glass, and he pointedly keeps his gaze averted from the ring Kaya’s been sporting on her finger for the past few months.
“Zoro, buddy! You made it!” The slap on the back from Usopp is a lot less effusive than the one he’d previously gotten from Luffy, but the smile on the longnosed man’s face is just as pleased. “It’s about time you finally crawled out of whatever hovel you’d hidden yourself away in. Nami and I were about to send out a search party.”
“Funny.” Zoro grunts, and then adds quickly. “I’m fine, and I don’t want to talk about the Cook tonight.”
“Roger that, big guy.” Usopp says, giving him another slap and then miming zipping his lips shut. “In that case, why don’t we talk about this house? Is this place insane or what? I’m pretty sure I could stay here for a week and still not find every room.”
“It really is beautiful,” Kaya enthuses. “And Nami and Vivi have gone all out tonight. They definitely want this to be a party to remember.”
“Good for them.” Mutters Zoro, who suspects that he’s going to personally want to forget every single detail about tonight. “I’ve got to take a leak. Where’s the bathroom?”
“You’ve barely touched your drink.” Usopp says dubiously. “And you just got here.”
Undeterred, Zoro knocks back the remaining contents of his glass and meets Usopp’s gaze head on. “You were saying?”
“Oh cool. It’s going to be that kind of night, is it?” Usopp asks, grinning nervously. “Good to know, I guess. And sure, I’ll show you where the bathroom is. There’s a couple of them around, actually, but I know where the nearest one is.”
“Just point me in the right direction.” Zoro says, wanting to cut off the younger man’s babbling before it can get any worse. “I’ll find it myself.”
Usopp shares a look with Luffy, but backs off when the latter nods. “Fine.” He says simply, raising a hand and pointing. “It’s down that hallway, there. Third door on the right.”
“Thanks.” Zoro says, already moving.
“Yeah, no problem.” He hears from behind him. “But try not to get lost.”
*****
Zoro does end up going to the bathroom. However, it’s less because he needs to and more because he wants the safety provided by a locked door. It also takes him forever to find the damn thing, such that his friends have all scattered by the time he re-emerges.
As it happens, that suits him just fine. Much though he cares for his friends - and he does, truly - all of them are in considerably happier places than he is these days. Maybe he’s being selfish, but he’d rather avoid having that rubbed in his face if at all possible.
He therefore spends the majority of the party moving from room to room, although he largely makes a point of sticking to the upper levels. Someone tells him that Sanji’s sticking close to the kitchens in order to make sure that the food stays properly stocked, so he resolves to stay above as a way to guarantee he keeps his distance.
This method allows him to keep out of the cook’s way like he’d hoped, but he’s not so lucky when it comes to avoiding any of the others. He keeps running into people he knows, and eventually Nami tracks him down in his latest hiding place.
“I figured you could use a snack.” She says in response to his unasked question. Pulling her hand out from behind her back, she then reveals a tiny plate of rice balls and offers them to him with a nod. “I stole these from the kitchen for you since you’re apparently too much of a chickenshit to go get them yourself.”
Zoro eyes the plate like the contents might bite him, as opposed to the other way around. He can recognize Sanji’s work with his eyes closed, and like hell does he need that on top of everything else at the moment.
“I’m not hungry.” He says, stalling for time. “I ate before I came.”
Indifferent, Nami waggles the plate at him. “You’ve been here for hours now, and all my sources say that you’ve been avoiding the kitchen like the plague. Have a damn snack.”
Irritated, Zoro takes the plate, but then proceeds to set it down on a nearby windowsill. “What?” He asks when Nami makes a face at him. “I told you I’m not hungry, and I meant it. I’ll eat it if I change my mind.”
“You’ll eat it regardless.” Nami says flatly. “You know how he gets about wasted food.”
“I never said anything about letting it go to waste,” Zoro notes. “If I don’t end up eating it, I’ll make sure it gets back downstairs before I leave. Either someone else can have it, or it can be saved as leftovers.”
Nami’s eyes narrow, but there’s a resigned set to her shoulders. “You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”
“Honestly, no,” Zoro replies with a shrug, “but I don’t know why you were expecting anything better. I told you that it wasn’t a good idea for me to come here tonight.”
“So, what, you’re just going to hide up here until it gets late enough that you can reasonably sneak out?” She wonders.
For his part, Zoro gives her an annoyed look. “I’m not hiding.” He says firmly. “My being up here is a tactical retreat, and it’s one you should probably be thankful for.”
“Oh? Please enlighten me as to why that is.”
“Why do you think?” Zoro says. “If I wind up around the Cook right now, there’s a solid chance we’ll get into it with each other. Do you really want us brawling in the middle of your fancy new digs? I mean, you know how much damage we can cause when that happens.”
“At this point it might actually be worth it.” Nami says with a tired sigh. “Plus, if you really did ruin anything, you know full well I’d bill you out the ass for it.”
“You could try.” Zoro replies with a shrug and gulp of the latest beer he’s managed to get his hands on. “You’re the one who’s always telling me how broke I am, though.”
“You’re impossible.” Nami tells him. “Especially when you’re all mopey and depressed like this. You’re not even fun to argue with right now.”
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t manage to accommodate you.” Zoro drawls. “But I also don’t know why you expected better.”
“Me either.” She admits, slumping slightly. “Alright then, I’m willing to admit when I’m beat. You can keep lurking up here for a while, and then you can slip out early if you can manage to do it without anyone noticing. Do not tell Vivi I okayed this, though. I refuse to wind up sleeping on the couch for you.”
“Vivi would never do that to you.” Zoro assures her. “She’s way nicer than the Cook in that regard.”
“Spoken like someone who’s never seriously crossed her.” Nami says with a hearty sniff. “Just do it like I asked and we’ll never speak of this again.”
“It’s a deal.” Zoro says, saluting her back with his beer when she turns to walk away.
*****
In actuality, he ends up waiting until much of the party has either died down or migrated elsewhere. It hasn’t stopped completely, he knows that much because he can still hear the sound of raised voices and music, but it sounds like most of the guests may currently be outside.
Well, more power to them, he supposes. If that’s how they’d prefer to spend the night, Zoro’s not going to try and tell them no, but nor is he about to join them. Now sounds like the perfect time for him to take off while no one’s watching.
As promised, he picks up the plate of rice balls before he moves to leave. Since there’s no one else in the room to see him depart, there’s also no one else to notice it’s still up here. It’s possible Nami might remember in the morning, but he figures it’s better to get it taken care of now so that no mishaps occur.
He studies the contents of the plate as he walks through the house, noting with a pang in his chest that they’re made exactly the way he prefers. Nobody has ever managed to balance the dish quite the way Sanji can, and it seems like his usual preparation standards haven’t changed.
Zoro gives himself a mental slap upside the head as that thought crosses his mind. Too much maudlin bullshit of a similar nature has come out of him as of late, and it’s high time to put a stop to it.
He’s never gone in for the concept of New Year’s resolutions before, but maybe that’s exactly what he needs in the face of the oncoming season. He certainly can’t go on the way he has been because that way lies madness.
Thanks to the fact that the house is unnecessarily large (maybe someday Vivi will learn how to say no to Nami, but it’s not looking good) it takes him forever to find the kitchen. Luckily, it’s blessedly empty when he finally stumbles over it, so he lets out a relieved breath as he steps inside.
A quick scan of the space is all he needs to discover that most of the leftover food has been confined to one section of the countertop. Wandering over to it, he sets the plate down near the end of the selections, absently noting how there isn’t much left to choose from.
That’s not very surprising. Between the appetites of Luffy and several of the other guests, it would make more sense if the food didn’t look like a plague of locusts had hit it. Plus, even the poorest of appetites wouldn’t pass up Sanji’s food if given the opportunity.
It’s at the exact moment that this thought passes through his head when the kitchen door swings open a second time, and in walks the man in question. He freezes as soon as he spots Zoro, who in turn hates himself for the way a little thrill still goes up his spine at the mere sight of the blond.
“ … Zoro.” Sanji finally says stiffly. “Sorry. I didn’t know you were in here.”
Any pleasure Zoro might have felt at seeing his former flame immediately vanishes in the face of being greeted with something other than one of the stupid nicknames Sanji tends to call him by. His own shoulders tensing, he nods curtly and tries to resist the urge to shove his hands in his pockets so it won’t be obvious that his fingers are clenching.
“Curls.” He says flatly. “Don’t worry, I was just leaving.”
“I can see that.” Sanji replies, his eyes narrowing as they drift to the counter and the plate Zoro’s just deposited there. “And on an empty stomach, no less.”
Zoro flicks his eye over towards the plate of rice balls and then away again just as quickly. “M’not hungry.” He mumbles, ducking his chin. “Figured it was better to leave them here, though. In case somebody else wanted them.”
Sanji’s hands drop down onto his hips and he frowns. “I made them for you.” He says pointedly. “You’re the only one here who really likes them.”
And just like that, any awkwardness Zoro might have been feeling disappears in the face of his temper flaring. “I didn’t ask you to do that!” He snaps. “I don’t want or need anything from you. Not anymore, anyway.”
“Right.” Sanji says, visibly bristling as he steps aside to give Zoro better access to the door. “Forget I said anything. I’ll let you get out of here.” He adds right as Zoro draws even with him. “I’m sure you’re busy packing and getting the rest of your shit in order.”
“Huh?” His words pull Zoro up short. Blinking in confusion, he pauses in his attempt to angrily stomp out of the room and peers at Sanji in confusion instead. “What are you talking about? What am I supposed to be packing for?”
Sanji stares at him like he’s grown a second head. “Uh, for Japan?” He says, looking at Zoro like he’s the one who’s currently uttering complete nonsense, as opposed to the other way around. “Where you’re moving to?”
“The fuck are you talking about?” Zoro asks again, shaking his head like that’ll somehow make the other man’s statement make sense. “I’m not going to Japan. Why the fuck would I be going to Japan of all places?”
Sanji gapes at him. “Because the Kozuki siblings offered you the job opportunity of a lifetime!” He snaps. “A job opportunity that I know you wanted to take.”
“Uh, apparently you don’t know me that well,” Zoro sneers in return, “because I never had any interest in that gig, and I still don’t. Hell, I fucking told you that, like, three hundred times after Hiyori made me the offer.”
“Yeah, but you were lying.” Sanji says, like that’s an at all reasonable claim for him to make. “I could tell.”
“I don’t lie, Cook.” Zoro retorts, his voice flat. “You know that. You’ve known that for years. Why would I suddenly start out of the blue?”
Sanji’s face shifts into a cagey expression. “You lie when you’re trying to spare people from getting their feelings hurt.” He says, suddenly refusing to meet Zoro’s eye. “Trust me. I’m pretty familiar with it.”
There’s a feeling of suspicion starting to brew in the recesses of Zoro’s mind. Sanji’s words, combined with his expression and his posture, have him thinking that there’s more going on here than an outside observer might be led to believe.
Willing himself to remain calm, he sucks in a deep breath and then blows it out through his nose. “I don’t lie.” He repeats, not quite so tersely this time. “I’m not lying now, and I definitely wasn’t lying then. I’m not joining the Kozuki’s enterprise, and I never fucking wanted to.”
“But - but it was the perfect opportunity for you.” Sanji says weakly, his voice having lost all of its previous highs and lows. “And you’d have been so good at it.”
“I’m good at most things.” Zoro replies, shrugging when Sanji finds the wherewithal to roll his eyes. “Pretty much anything I set my mind to, really. That doesn’t change the fact that being good at something and actually wanting to do it are two completely different things.”
Now Sanji looks like Zoro’s up and sucker punched him, or dumped an entire week’s worth of groceries into the street. His breathing is picking up rapidly, and he’s looking anywhere but at Zoro. “That’s - I didn’t know that.” He says more to the floor than anything else. “I really thought you wanted to go.”
“And what, that you were the only thing keeping me from my dreams?” Zoro demands. He says it sarcastically at first, but the way Sanji flinches at his words sends a dawning bolt of horror through him as he realizes he’s right. “Damnit, Curls, you didn’t!”
He gets all the answer he needs when Sanji fists a hand in his hair and starts to tug. “I - ” The other man chokes, blond locks twisted between his fingers and his shoulders shaking. “I thought I was doing the right thing. For you.”
“How? By taking away my options?” Zoro barks.
“By making it so that you didn’t have to choose!” Sanji insists, his eyes wild. “I figured that if I wasn’t in the picture then you wouldn’t have to feel bad about leaving me behind. I didn’t want to do it. I was trying to put your needs before my own!”
Needing an outlet for the emotional whirlwind that’s now coursing through him, Zoro throws up his arms in frustration. “Well congratu-fucking-lations, you successfully managed to make us both miserable, you self-sacrificing idiot!”
“You had no right.” He adds fiercely. “I don’t care how you want to dress it up to try and make yourself feel better. You tried to make my decisions for me, and it fucking sucked.”
“I didn’t mean for it to turn out like this,” Sanji insists. “I thought you’d be gone already, and that you’d be a thousand times happier off with the Kozukis than you were with me.”
Zoro’s heard just about enough of this. Lunging forward with intent, he corners Sanji against the nearest wall, bringing his arms up to box him in on either side and keep him from running.
“Listen to me, jackass.” He says, standing firm when Sanji tries to wriggle out of his hold. “Nobody gets to decide what I want other than me, and what I want, what I have wanted for years, is you. I don’t give a flying fuck about job opportunities or the Kozukis or fucking Japan. I want to be able to come home to our stupid apartment with your stupid shoes all lined up in the stupid entranceway and your stupid ashtrays all over the place while you cook in your stupid kitchen. I don’t need or want anything else. Do you get that?”
“I - yeah.” Sanji says weakly, his shoulders sagging. “I get it.”
“Good,” Zoro huffs. “Now. What are you going to do about it?”
“Uh,” Sanji squints at him, like he’s half afraid it was a trick question. “What do you want me to do about it?”
Zoro’s starting to wonder if maybe Sanji hadn’t suffered an unknown blow to the head in recent months. One that’s been making him act like a complete moron at all times. “Do I need to fucking spell it out for you? I want you to come home, you twerp.”
“Twerp? Really, that’s what you’re going with?” Sanji asks him with the ghost of a smile. “Even you’re usually better than that, Marimo.”
His smile soon fades in the face of Zoro’s exasperated huff, and he heaves a tired sigh instead, his shoulders slumping. “Truth be told, I’m not sure I deserve to come home under the circumstances. There’s an argument to be made that I royally screwed up here.”
“No shit.” Zoro grunts, his arms still braced against the wall. “If you think for one second that I’m letting you off the hook that easily you’re even dumber than your eyebrows.”
“Hey,” Sanji starts to protest, pointedly arching one of said eyebrows. “I didn’t - ”
“Save it, Curls.” Zoro cuts him off. “I said I want you to come home, but I never said you wouldn’t be sleeping on the couch for the foreseeable future.”
The eye not covered by Sanji’s hair narrows. “I’m not sleeping on the couch.” He says flatly. “That thing’s lumpy as hell. It’s like trying to sleep on a sack of potatoes.”
“I know that,” Zoro replies. “Because, funny thing, it’s still more comfortable than sleeping in a bed that’s empty when it shouldn’t be.”
Sanji’s face softens, and he raises a hand to trail his fingers through Zoro’s earrings before cupping it over his cheek. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing.”
“Yeah, but only because you have the self-worth of something that’s dead and still don’t trust the fact that I’d pick you over anyone else, anytime.” Sighing, Zoro leans forward to knock their foreheads together. “I love you, dumbass. Why’s that so hard for you to believe?”
“You know why.” Sanji murmurs back, his warm breath drifting over the side of Zoro’s face as he subtly nuzzles back. “But I’ll try to do better, I swear. If it helps, this whole … incident might work as a pretty good reminder.”
“It doesn’t.” Zoro says, nowhere near ready to make light of the situation yet, and Sanji hums in agreement.
“Fair enough.” He says quietly. “Let’s try this then. I’m sorry, Zoro. I fucked up, and I hurt you terribly in the process, which is inexcusable. Whatever I can do to make it up to you, you tell me and it’s done.”
Pulling back slightly, Zoro thinks it over for a minute. “Well, for starters, you can bring the rice balls when we leave.”
*****
They’d arrived at the party in separate vehicles, and therefore have to leave separately. Sanji peels off in a different direction, presumably to go pack an overnight bag to last him until they can move his stuff back in, but is somehow waiting for Zoro when he pulls up.
“How - ?” Zoro starts to ask as he climbs out of his car, but Sanji just shakes his head, a fond smile causing his lips to curve upwards.
“You know how.” He says, pushing away from his car where he’s been leaning up against it. “But unless you want to have the debate about your powers of direction yet again, I’m going to suggest we head on up.”
“My sense of direction is fine.” Zoro mutters with the ease of long practice. He lets the subject drop in favour of trying to dig his keys out of his pockets, however, growling in frustration when they snag on something and refuse to come out.
A pale, slender hand appears in his line of vision while he’s yanking with increasing frequency. There’s a familiar key resting between two of the fingers, and Sanji gives him a weak smile when he looks up at him.
“Let me?” He suggests, now rolling the key over his knuckles.
“Were you planning to break in at some point?” Zoro wonders.
Sanji’s grin turns sheepish and it’s obvious even with the poor lighting that he’s blushing. “I couldn’t bring myself to give it up.” He mumbles, ducking his head.
Seeing as he hadn’t even thought to ask about it or noticed that the key was missing, Zoro suspects he doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on. “Okay.” He says, not sure what else to say. “Get us inside, I guess.”
His words pull a nod from Sanji, and it’s not long before they’re inside the building and striding down the hall towards the unit they’d previously called home together. Sanji opens that door as easily as he had the front one, and automatically reaches out to flick on the light switch once he crosses the threshold.
“I, uh, haven’t really felt like cleaning much.” Zoro says in lieu of the silence that follows. “Sorry about the mess.”
“It’s fine.” Sanji says faintly, his eyes roaming over the assorted clutter. “It’s not like I have any right to tell you how to live.”
Zoro grimaces. “It’s actually better than it was,” some stupid compulsion forces him to admit. “Nami helped tidy it up a bit a few days ago.”
“Nami - ? Never mind.” Visibly regrouping, Sanji shakes his head. “We can sort it out tomorrow. For now, I’ll go make up the couch.”
“Wait, what?” Zoro asks, the words belatedly sinking in when the other man heads in the direction of the linen closet. “Curls, I was joking.”
“Hmm?” Sanji says from where he’s already got the door open and his head shoved inside.
“About you sleeping on the couch.” Zoro clarifies, striding over to grab him by the back of the shirt and drag him away from the shelves. “The only way you’re doing that is if I’m there with you, and like hell will we both fit.”
“Oh.” His face flushed scarlet, Sanji nevertheless allows himself to be tugged down the hall and into their waiting bedroom. It’s not nearly as much of a mess in here, and Sanji’s expression melts when he spots their bed. “I’ll kill you if you ever repeat this, but that’s a sight for sore eyes.”
“Let me guess,” Zoro says slyly, releasing his hold on Sanji’s shirt at the same time. “You’ve been back in your old room at Zeff’s place, with the twin bed you grew out of when you were twelve.”
Sanji gives him an affronted look, but it quickly melts into something more serious. “Much like you implied back at Nami and Vivi’s, the bed wasn’t the problem. It was the lack of an overgrown spider monkey wrapping around me every night and crushing me into the mattress.”
“I don’t - ”
“You do.” Sanji says, cutting off the aborted protest. “But for at least for tonight, I don’t give a shit. Come to bed with me, Marimo.” He adds firmly. “I haven’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in over a month and I know full well why that is.”
“And that it was my own damn fault.” He’s quick to note. “You don’t have to say it.”
“I wasn’t gonna.” Zoro says honestly. He knows they’re still going to have a lot of things talk about before they’re back on stable footing, and it looks like chief among them is going to be Sanji’s raging guilt complex taking over. “Let’s just get ready for bed like you said and everything else can be a tomorrow problem.”
Sanji eyes him warily for a moment, before nodding. “Okay.” He says simply.
They each proceed to go about their nighttime routines, moving around each other with practised ease. Then, the next thing Zoro knows, they’re both under the covers with the lights off and silence settling around them.
He lies on his back for a bit, the only noise he can hear that of Sanji breathing in and out next to him. It’s dark enough that he can’t make out the ceiling he’s staring up at, but something tells him he’s going to be a long time falling asleep if he stays like this.
Well, Sanji’s already admitted to what helps him sleep best, and it’s not like Zoro isn’t in the same boat. Rolling over abruptly, he doesn’t bother saying anything as he scoots across the bed until he’s in the right spot to wrap himself around Sanji, tangling their limbs together every way he can.
“ … you’re heavy.”
“Yep.”
“And too hot.”
“Mhm.”
“I’m going to suffocate.”
“You always say that. Hasn’t happened yet.”
Grumbling, Sanji wriggles in his hold but makes no real attempt to escape it. “You’re not moving, are you?”
Zoro sighs. The motion causes him to inhale the familiar scent of Sanji’s shampoo thanks to the way his nose is pressed against the crown of the blond’s head. “Not a chance in hell.” He says, breathing deep.
Sanji’s quiet for a few beats, but then presses back against Zoro until it feels like there’s not a single point where they’re not in contact. “I really am sorry you know.” He says in the safety of the darkness. “If it helps at all, I’ve been miserable of every second of every day since I left.”
Zoro’s honestly not sure if that helps, but he presses a kiss to Sanji’s forehead regardless. “Just talk to me the next time you get a completely insane idea in your head. That’s all I’m asking.”
“I - yeah.” Sanji says, and surprises Zoro by tilting his head up to capture a real kiss. “Goodnight, Moss.” He says softly. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“You’re damn right you will.” Zoro confirms, kissing him again as he prepares to drift off to sleep.