Work Text:
“It’s Christmas again mom.” Her smile felt wobbly as she blinked back the pain. “The city is festive with lights and decorations everywhere. There’s even a fancy tree decorated in the subway stations!” She sniffed fighting against the frigid temperatures. “You would love it! I’ll head inside soon, but I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas during the first snow.”
She swallowed hard blinking rapidly again. “Because they say that if you are with someone during the first snow, you will be with them forever.” Her voice choked off as she coughed. “I wish it was true.” Her words trailed off into a whisper.
He stood to the side trying not to listen, but at the same time captivated and intrigued. Such a tiny figure to be huddled against the frigid winter winds of Seoul. And so close to Christmas. He only caught a few words, but he could sense the pain radiating off her. Why was she at the river though?
He turned slightly to look out from the side trail by the Han to see nothing but dried grass waving in the breeze wondering how long before the snow’s heavy presence would smother the hardy stalks. The river itself was still flowing, but there were patches along the banks where the grayish blue was becoming translucent with ice. A sharp wind blustered past, and he shivered pulling his scarf up higher.
Why was he still standing out here. Sure, he had needed air after the argument, but it was mostly because he needed time to think. To know what he wanted to say before he spoke something that couldn’t be taken back. Words were powerful things. And much like cuts, often left scars.
But instead of that, he was standing in the snowy cold watching a young child sitting on a park bench. He almost choked when the girl stood, wiping her eyes as he searched how to escape without her notice. Because, as he thought of it, he might be seen as a pervert. A dirty old… well, young man. He moved a step back getting ready to pretend he was just walking by when he heard a new sound.
It wasn’t clear at first what with the distance and slight winds blowing. But suddenly it was as if the world stopped for just a moment, and he heard it.
“I’ll be home for Christmas. You can plan on me. Please have snow…” Her voice cracked and she took a deep breath before continuing. And mistletoe. And presents on the tree.”
He hadn’t really heard the song before but knew he would be looking it up as soon as he got home. Home. His mind moved to what was waiting for him at home.
The guys would be there. Jin would be shouting at Jungkook for trying to sneak food while ordering him to do random tasks to keep him occupied. Yoongi would be working silently while randomly placing small scraps and bites out for the boys that Jin and Jungkook chose to ignore as they fought. Jimin would probably be trying to help but would most likely be caught up in some kind of drama scene with Taehyung while decorating the apartment. And Hobie would be flitting between them all with that ridiculous jingle bell antler headband tinkling with every move and ready laugh or cheer.
He felt a warmth at the thought just as the wind picked up again changing it to shiver. He sighed knowing that no one was going to like what he had to tell them. But as he turned to leave his attention was once again caught by the girl. She had been standing, but she wobbled as she turned landing heavily on the bench.
He made a move as if to reach for her but stopped as the sound of sobbing caught his ear.
“I tried mama. I tried so hard. But…” her voice broke. “But no one listens. No one seems to see me. I know I said I wouldn’t give up, but…” She sobbed again, and he could see the tears streaming down her cheeks in the dim glow from the lampposts. “But it’s so hard. I… I don’t know how much more I can take.”
His heart broke. this child. This kid was sobbing as if there was no hope or love in the world. He wondered what her home life was like. Why was she alone, in the cold without a scarf or hat at this hour of the night? Where was her father?
“I just want to be with you and papa.” Her voice choked into a whine at the end. “Why did you have to leave me? Can’t you just… Please… can you just come get me?”
His heart that was broken became shattered. Pieces of crystal lying on the dirt floor of the pathway. This child was an orphan? No father or mother? And… she wanted to die? What was her life like? And how could all this happen especially at Christmas.
Without thinking he stumbled forward earning a sharp gasp from the girl. Her eyes reminded him of Jungkook when they first met as she quickly wiped her eyes on her sleeve and bowed. “I’m sorry ajjushi. I’ll be going.”
She turned to leave, but he quickly called out. “No! I’m sorry for intruding. I just… I heard you singing, and…” He had stopped her, but now he didn’t know what to do. “I just… It was very beautiful. I had never heard that song before, and your English was very good.”
“Oh.” She blushed, or maybe it was the cold as she ducked her head in a small bow. “Thank you ajjushi.”
“I… uh, I know this is very strange, but…” he huffed. “Um… my friends. Well, more like family after this many years.” He mumbled before straightening up. “We were getting a small Christmas dinner party going, and I wondered if you would like to join us?”
The girls eyes widened and she took a step back. “I…”
“Oh crap.” He muttered. “I’m sorry, that didn’t come out right at all.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m usually better at this.” Her eyes looked wary as if ready to run at any moment. “You don’t recognize me, but my name is Kim Namjoon. Or as most people know me, RM.” He pulled his scarf down showing his full face, and her eyes practically popped out of her head.
She now did a full 90-degree bow. “RMshi. You… I’m sorry for disturbing your night. I… the snow. And the wind. It… you need to go where it’s warm. You shouldn’t be out here. You will get sick.” Her ramblings were making him more flustered as he tried to get a word in.
“No, no! It’s okay. I just…” He paused again. “I just needed some air to clear my head. And I… I heard you talking.”
Her head came up and her mouthed formed a perfect o. “I’m sorry to intrude on your privacy. I started to leave, but then you started singing that song, and it… it made me remember that there are people at home waiting for me. People who love and support me. And I … I just…” He huffed. “I wanted to make sure if you were okay. Have you eaten?”
She gaped another moment before nodding. “Oh, don’t worry about me RMshi. I… I’ll be okay.” She sniffled rubbing her nose with her sleeve.
“Do you live far? Can I get you a taxi? Or walk with you to the bus?”
She was looking a little flustered now. “Oh… that’s okay. You don’t need to do that. I… I don’t live far.” She was fidgeting, and he felt a warmth as she reminded him of Hoseok. Both terrible liars.
“Oh good. Then I’ll just walk you home.” His voice brooked no argument, and she really started fidgeting. Bobbing from one foot to the other looking everywhere but at him. “And maybe I can meet your guardian.”
Now her eyes held fear. “Oh, that’s okay. I’ll be fine.” She muttered as she ducked her head.
There was a long pause before he spoke. “You don’t have a home do you?” He wasn’t sure where the words came from, but suddenly there they were.
Her head popped up, and she gaped arms fluttering and flapping a little. “I do… I, it’s um…” she stopped letting her head drop before shaking it. “No… Not really.” She seemed to be bracing herself for more questions, but instead he spoke softly.
“Then how about you come home with me, and have Christmas dinner with my family?”
Her head shot up, and he wondered how her eyes could get any bigger as she stuttered and stammered. “I mean it.” he finally broke through. “Come eat dinner with us, and we can talk more later about your situation.” He tried to keep it light as he shrugged. “Maybe one of us can think of something that can help.”
“I…” She bit her lip still bobbing from one foot to the other before she looked into his eyes. “I… if you’re sure they won’t mind.” She finally sighed dropping her gaze to the snow-covered path.
“I’m sure they won’t.” He grinned “As long as you don’t mind loud noisy chaotic groups.”
She looked up with awe on her face. “Is… are they…?”
He took pity on her. “They’re just 6 other normal boys from Korea.” He grinned holding out his gloved hand for hers biting back a frown at how her ungloved hand was reaching from where she’d had it hidden in her coat sleeve. “It’s a little way from here, so I think we’ll grab a taxi.” He supplied as he pulled his phone out of his other pocket quickly sending a taxi request. “Okay, it should be here in less than 10 minutes. Let’s go.”
She nodded dumbly as they walked through the still falling first snow of the year. Towards what, she wasn’t completely sure. But maybe… maybe her mama had heard her prayers.
**********************
She had only seen these buildings from a distance. They were massive, and it was harder to tell if the building or the security were more impressive. Namjoon had to not only do a fingerprint scan, but also swipe a card. And that was just to get into the building. She didn’t notice what he was doing other than gently tugging her along as she gasped and gawked at the clean white walls with dark metal accents. There was even a stinking fountain in the lobby! A small one sure, but a fountain none the less.
“Okay, here we are.” His words slowly broke through her conscious, and she turned mouth still hanging open slightly causing him to grin. She reminded him so much of a very young Jungkook. “Oh!” He paused hand on the black metal doorknob. “I knew I was forgetting something.” He shot her a chagrined look. “Um… so I kinda forgot to text them that I was bringing someone home. So… um… if you don’t mind waiting her for one second while I make sure everyone is wearing…” He coughed. “I mean, ready to meet you…” His words trailed off, and she started feeling nervous as she nodded.
She heard loud music for the few seconds the door opened before silence enveloped her again. He hadn’t contacted them. Would they be upset? Would they turn her away? Or worse yet, she worried her lip, would they let her in only to make her feel she was intruding on their time as a family? Her shoulders drooped as she thought of this. Because Christmas is a time for families. She heard the door handle turning and straightened her shoulders ready to make an excuse to Namjoon why she couldn’t stay. Except it wasn’t Namjoon.
She gawked again, and subconsciously wondered if she could pass out right on the floor. Because standing in front of her, in the flesh, was the brightest sunshine she ever saw. She could almost feel the heat.
“Hello! You must be Namjoonie’s guest!” His voice was even like an angel. Bright and shining and filled with birds chirping and rainbows. Instead of giving the lame excuse she had tried to formulate, she simply nodded.
“Awesome! Come in! Come in! It’s cold out here.”
She wondered as she passed the threshold if her mom in fact had heard her and sent these angels to welcome her to the Heaven after all. She was convinced of it when she looked beyond Hobie to see Jimin beaming like a literal cherub. She stuttered trying to say something but was interrupted with a scolding voice from somewhere beyond the partition.
“Yah! You miscreant! That is for our guest!”
“I know Hyung, I was bringing it to her.” A cheeky Jungkook called back as he hurried from what must be the kitchen carrying a wine glass, followed by a red-faced, scowling Jin.
Both stopped though upon seeing her, and stared shock written all over their faces. Jin finally stood up straighter, and stepped forward gallantly. “Hello little one. I’m Kim Seokjin, but you can call me Oppa. Our fearless leader forgot to mention how young his guest was.” He sent a small scowl at the squirming Namjoon.
“I… I look smaller than I am.” She finally managed to say before blushing and looking at the floor.
“Oh? How old are you?” She wasn’t sure who asked but chewed her lip before answering softly.
“13…?” It sounded almost like a question.
“Are you sure?” Kim Taehyung was speaking to her. His voice like velvet.
“Um… yeah. I… uh… I had my birthday a few days ago.” She mumbled fidgeting with her sleeve.
“Ah! Why are you making her stand in the doorway? Why hasn’t anyone taken her coat?” Jin started barking orders. “And you… Aish! Just because she is too young for the spiced wine doesn’t mean you should down it like a shot of whiskey!”
She couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped and hoped no one noticed. They did, but even though they all grinned broadly as she moved to do Jin’s bidding no one commented on it.
“Here little one. Let me hang up your coat for you.” Jin took the patched article and hid is frown until he turned to put it in the coat closet. It was thin, and despite the poorly stitched patches there were still multiple other small tears. He wondered how she hadn’t turned blue just walking across the street. He schooled his features though before turning around smiling gently as he saw Taehyung trying his best to make her comfortable. Jimin close by also chiming in with questions about if she had any allergies or foods she didn’t like. Jungkook was hanging in the background as if unsure whether it was okay to talk to her or not.
He was just about to speak when Yoongi appeared simply stating in a deep voice “Food’s ready.” Jin didn’t miss the way his eyes widened briefly before returning to their almost lazy cat like stare. After living together so many years it wasn’t hard to see how surprised he was at the tiny guest who was joining them.
Dinner was the usual riotous affair with only a little less drinking than they normally would. They all made it their mission to ensure the girl ate her weight in food constantly refilling or adding things to her bowl. And she ate it. Almost as one starved at first, and Jimin wondered if that might be the case as he saw her wrist when she reached her bowl to accept the proffered dumpling from Taehyung. It was almost as thin as a skeleton.
After she had eaten the bulk of it, she seemed to slow down listening to them chatter. Sharing stories about each other, their vacations both known and unknown by Army’s, and just being a big happy family. She loved every minute until it hit her. They were a big happy family. Just as she had been with her parents last Christmas.
Sure it wasn’t as noisy with their only being the three of them, but it was still a room filled with love. She felt tears forming and tried blinking them away, but Jimin noticed leaning over from his seat next to her.
“Are you okay?” He asked softly.
She nodded. “I… I just miss my family.” She sniffled.
He felt his own heart break a little. “Are you… Um… Namjoon said your parents weren’t here…” He felt so inadequate. Like a bumbling fool.
She bobbed her head slightly. “They… they died in the sickness.”
Jimin’s eyes widened meeting Namjoon’s over her head. The sickness? That had been over for months. The last reported casualties were… September! He tried to stay calm, but he couldn’t as he sent a pleading look to his Hyung.
“I don’t want to be nosy, but would you mind telling me what happened? Maybe we can brainstorm a solution?” Namjoon’s gentle rumble sounded, and the others slowly quieted their own conversations.
“Um… I…” She tried to find the words to explain. All the times she had tried before hadn’t worked. No one had helped her. This might be her last chance. She had to do this right.
“Pappa got the sickness first. He was working in the hospital as a janitor. We did our best, but…” She gave a small sniff turned sob, and Jimin couldn’t resist resting his hand on her arm.
“You don’t have to share what you don’t want to.” His gentle voice almost broke her control. He was so kind. After some of the people she had met these past few months… She stopped her spiraling thoughts with a deep breath.
“Mama got sick soon after, but they both seemed to be doing better at the end. Then the next morning I got up to…” She swallowed before continuing. “I called 119, and a lot of people came. A lady and a man said they were from child services and took me to an office building. I was there for a long time before the lady came back. She said…” Her voice cracked and Yoongi was magically there setting a glass of water in front of her before simply turning and walking back to his seat. After a quick sip she continued.
“She said since I have no other relatives that I would go to an orphanage.” She looked down at the empty bowl. “Except the night I got there, there was a huge fire and all the paper records were burned.” She shrugged still staring at a lone grain of rice. “I guess they hadn’t entered my information yet or something so all records of me were gone. They took the others with them but treated me as if I was just a kid trying to get attention.” She jerked her head up looking frantically around. “I’m not! I tried telling them. And I even went to 2 police stations. But each one turned me away.”
“When did all this happen?” Namjoon queried.
“Um… I think the beginning of October.” She spoke hesitantly, and Hobie’s eyes lit up in recognition. “I heard about that fire! I sent a donation, but I didn’t know they hadn’t accounted for everyone there! The newspaper never said a word!”
“Hyung! You know the media isn’t always reliable with facts.” Taehyung blurted.
“Anyway.” Namjoon spoke again before the could all go on tangent about the shoddy job the media did in reporting important events sometimes. “If you didn’t have a home or guardian since October, what have you been doing?”
She chewed her lip again before Jimin gently nudged her. “You’ll make it bleed if you keep it up.”
She gave a small pout but nodded. “I… I found some odd jobs here and there. I tried begging, but nobody seemed to pay any attention.”
“But, what about a place to sleep?”
She looked up briefly before gazing back at the table squirming “I… um, usually subway bathrooms were safe enough. I couldn’t stay for a long period of time, but the stall locked. And if I leaned just so, I could red my head on the wall, and sleep for a couple hours.” Her shoulders drooped. “Then it got cold, and they don’t really heat those places.”
“So what did you do?” Someone, possibly Jin, asked.
She shrugged. “I found an older shopkeeper who had his worker quit suddenly hire me… kinda. He couldn’t actually hire me, but he gave me some money for tidying up and putting things on the shelves. That and the occasional job delivering to nearby homes from the small market usually gave me enough to get a night in a sauna.”
“But… what about school? Didn’t they think it odd for you to be out during school hours?” Hobie looked appalled.
She started to bite her lip, but stopped sneaking a peek at Jimin who gave a small wink. “I had to be careful. I would go early in the morning to the market, and then early in the afternoon to the shop. Neither one seemed to realize anything amiss. I just told them I was helping my family who were struggling.”
Her eyes popped up as she worriedly looked at the group. “I didn’t lie! I… I just…”
“Didn’t tell them all the facts.” Taehyung supplied earning a sheepish nod.
“But what about the days you couldn’t afford the sauna? What about food? And… and what if you got sick?” Namjoon was rambling.
She looked down simply shrugging. They members sent looks to each other over her head before they came to a silent agreement.
“Well, it’s getting late, and I think better after a good nights sleep.” Jin started earning a startled gasp from the girl as she looked at the clock on the wall.
“Oh Oppa! I’m so sorry to stay so long. You have all been so kind…” She looked worried.
“Nonsense! I enjoyed having a fresh face here.” Jin rebutted.
“Thank you.” She murmured before standing up. “I should get going so you can sleep.”
“No!”
“Sit down.”
“You can’t leave yet!”
The voices spoke over the other into a cacophony of noise. Finally Jin whistled loudly making the others freeze.
“What I think they meant, little one, is we would like to have you stay here tonight. That way we can all sleep on it and get a fresh start on talking it over in the morning. Now” He held up his hand as she started to protest “It’s either stay here with us, although I’m afraid you might be sleeping on the couch as Jungkook’s room is the only single room and it’s just been repainted”
“That’s okay Oppa!” She blurted quickly “I can sleep anywhere.”
He stopped, giving her a grin before continuing. “Such a polite child. So, let’s get you settled for the night. I’ll go gather some clothes for you to borrow, and we can wash yours tonight so it’s all clean for tomorrow.”
Her eyes popped wide. Clean clothes? That was a luxury she didn’t often get. Because when it came between eating at least one meal or washing her spare outfit, eating always seemed to win. Only a handful of times had she made enough to afford both. And what with the cold setting in, she had taken to washing out a lot of things in the subway bathroom sinks. It was tedious as she could only wash one item at a time in fear that someone might see her and report it, but what else could she do?
“Okay, then. Hobie can show you the bathroom. Feel free to grab a shower, and I’ll set the clothes right outside the door. When you finish we’ll toss your others in the wash.” He spoke so matter of fact that all she could do was nod dumbly.
Before she knew it, she was washed. Like fully clean washed like she was only able to do when she could afford the sauna, and wearing clean clothes. Each member seemed to have provided something for her comfort. She got one of Jungkook’s softest t-shirts that almost hit her ankles, Yoongi’s basketball shorts that looked more like baggy sweatpants on her, and tons of blankets and pillows from the rest.
“Here.” Hobie was the last one to approach. “I know your baby skin doesn’t need it, but I find putting a face mask on before bed very relaxing. I thought you might like to try it since you’ve had so many changes in one day.”
She quickly nodded at the offer. She had always wanted to try them, but again, it was a frivolity. She was soon tucked in the amazingly comfortable couch and almost immediately sleeping.
The others stood watching her for a short time before Namjoon motioned them to head to bed.
“Hyung,” Jungkook whispered “What about tomorrow?”
Jin spoke up softly. “Oh, don’t worry. I have big plans for tomorrow.”
*************************
The members decide to give her the best Christmas ever. The next morning, she was woke up by the scent of pancakes topped with strawberries and whipped cream followed by a hurried ride to a bustling area. “Lotte Department Store” she froze at the entrance. This was one of the biggest and nicest stores she had ever seen. It was decked to the gills with Christmas, and she couldn’t help getting distracted the entire day as she trekked from one spot to the next.
But that worked in their favor as she didn’t notice people randomly disappear for a bit before coming back. It would have been a little suspicious if they had tons of bags, but usually it was a small bag or box. Because they were smart. They special requested all their purchases sent directly to their house before the end of the day. Each one something hand-picked for their Christmas guest.
And if that wasn’t exciting enough, they made sure to stop at the Myendong outdoor screen to see the special Christmas video. By the time they got home she was almost sleeping. Jimin offered to carry her, but she blushed pouting. “Mm not a baby…” She mumbled before yawning cutely making them all coo.
They did make it upstairs, and this time Jungkook insisted she sleep in his room. “The paint has settled enough, and I just put clean sheets on the bed tonight.” When she started to protest, he grinned showing his bunny teeth. “Besides, I had planned to crash in Jimin and Hobie’s room anyway.”
“Ah! I see how it is!” Jimin sounded offended before grinning. And that settled that. She was herded to bed where she felt sleep overtaking her. She didn’t know how long she slept, but something woke her up. She laid there for a few minutes, but then the sound came back. It sounded like an argument. She bit her lip wondering if she was the cause and tried to go back to sleep. That of course was when her bladder decided the large cola she had just before they got home was urging her to the bathroom. She stood up and cautiously made her way to the bedroom door not wanting to disturb the others. But froze when she heard “You’ve got to be kidding me!” almost angrily shouted followed by shushings.
She stood there not sure what to do. She knew she wouldn’t fall asleep without a trip to the bathroom, but she also didn’t want to interrupt whatever heated discussion was happening on the other side of the door. While she debated the voiced got slightly louder, and she could make out more of what was being said.
“So, the government doesn’t want to make a decision, and neither does the company.” Yoongi’s deep voice spoke bluntly.
“That about sums it up.” Namjoon’s harried voice responded.
“But… but someone needs to decide!” Jimin’s voice held frustration as well.
“Basically, we are being held hostage by that stupid bill to defer our military service.” He sighed. “I tried telling them that we were all ready and eager to serve our country, but the higher ups wanted to hold off as long as they can. They keep saying to wait a little longer.” He huffed “As if we haven’t been waiting for years already. I mean, it’s getting critical for two of us, and I don’t know if they plan for Jin Hyung and Yoongi Hyung to go first. Then in another two years, Hobie and me. And another two years, Jimin and Taehyung…”
“But Hyung… That’s… that’s too long to stretch it out. I already feel strange doing my solos at our concerts, and that’s knowing you all are backstage waiting and cheering.” Jimin pouted.
“Yeah, and I enjoy some of my collaborations, but it’s never the same as when I get to sing with all of you.” Jungkook piped in. “Everyone is nice, but they aren’t… they aren’t my family.” He ducked his head blushing a little as everyone cooed and Hobie leaped over to hug him.
“I agree. BTS is 7. I want to keep singing with you all until I’m at least 90.” Jin chimed in firmly.
“Well Hyung, that’s not too far away…”
“Ai! Cheeky brat!” The elder tried to look affronted.
“But seriously. I feel like we’re being strung along, and not really being listened to about what we want.” Namjoon attempted to redirect them.
“Then we need to make a plan of what we want.” Yoongi finally spoke up.
“Huh?”
“I mean, we are BTS.”
“You mean International K-pop Sensation Sunshine Rainbow Traditional Transfer USB Hub Shrimp BTS?” Jungkook chirped grinning at the elder who refused to make eye contact.
“So, I say we as a family decide what we want and how to make that work. Then we take it to the company and tell them take it or leave it.” He continued as if Jungkook hadn’t spoken making the younger pout.
“But…”
“Uh…”
“Screw the company!”
“Seokjin Hyung...” Namjoon’s voice trailed off as he tried searching for a response.
“Hyung, you know he’s right though.” Jimin’s soft voice broke through.
“I mean… I…”
“We’ll go with you Hyung. We’ll be together when we tell them just like we always have been. We are family after all. And family sticks together.” Hobie’s voice had grown firm which was a rarity outside of the dance practice room.
Taehyung interrupted before putting his hand out. “Bangtan…”
The others quickly joined with Yoongi looking away. “Bangtan banbangtan!”
***********************
They soon went to bed, leaving her standing there with a feeling of dread. They had a lot going on already, and here she was adding to their burden. Afterall, it’s not like she can follow along with them to military service. And she can’t stay alone in their apartment while they’re gone. She goes to the bathroom before silently making her way back to her borrowed bedroom where she paces for who knows how long. Finally with tears stinging she changed back to her now clean clothes. She searched for a scrap of paper to be able to leave a note, but after finding nothing laying out she gave up, not wanting to snoop.
Walking stealthily to the door guided by the lights shining through the window, she paused turning back to look at the large room. An unadorned tree stands in the corner of an otherwise normal looking home. A tear slipped past her guard as she turned to leave. It felt like home. But maybe that’s all she would ever get. A small taste of home, but not a permanent one.
The door clicking shut followed by the automatic lock made her freeze. She didn’t want to get caught. Mustn’t get caught. She didn’t want them to feel obligated to do any more than they already had. Which was more than anyone had done for her in a long time.
When there’s no other sound after a few minutes, she heads to the elevator only to freeze again slapping her hand over her mouth as she let out a groan. The elevator was a card activated one. Unless the apartment owner used their special key card, the elevators don’t work.
What was she going to do now? She started to panic until she heard a noise. A click and soft voice talking. Moving slowly, she peaks around the corner in time to see a young couple coming up the stairwell entrance. Before she could stop herself, she rushed over, catching the door before it closed. They paused, glancing at her, but then seem to shrug it off as they meander down the hallway wrapped in each other’s arms.
The steps seem endless, but she reminded herself that at least she was going downstairs and not up. Finally, she made to the last door, thankful to find it didn’t require a keycard to leave through. Finding herself taking what seemed her first breath since this whole thing started only after she was outside, she shivered. Standing in the cold again, she couldn’t help but shiver. Did it get colder, or did she start getting used to being warm?
She sighed as she startedto look at her surroundings. The only thing that seemed open at this late hour was the convenience store with it’s bright 7 eleven shining along with the streetlamps. She took a step towards it but stopped. She wanted to go where it’s warm, but also worried it’s too close if they come looking for her.
“Whatcha doing kid?” A deep rumble startles her into gasping as she spun around.
“I…” She couldn’t seem to breath in the silence of those penetrating eyes and frown. “I…”
“Okay. Come with me.” He turned walking toward the convenience store expecting her to follow. She wasn’t sure how or why, but she did. Before she could comprehend anything, she was standing in front of the wall of drinks. “Choose what you want.” He mumbled almost absently as he reached out for an bottle of iced coffee.
“Uh… but Yoongishi…” She stopped at his blank stare before gulping. Turning she grabbed the first thing she saw that was not coffee. She followed him as he went to pay, expecting him to drag her back to the apartment. Instead, he motioned for her to take one of the plastic chairs at a small table inside the store.
She sits down quickly earning a small pleased sound from the elder, but soon found herself struggling with opening the carton. Maybe she didn’t really need the banana milk after all. Without a word he reached over easily pulling the tab out and handing it back without looking at her. “Thank you Yoongi-shi.”
“You can just call me Oppa.” He muttered.
***************************
They sat in awkward silence for a while until she couldn’t handle it anymore. “I can’t go back.” She blurted expecting a cacophony of questions, or at least a response beyond a small head bob. “I… I mean…” All her responses to those imaginary scenarios fizzle out at the still silent member.
After another awkward silence he voiced his thoughts. “You must have heard some of our talk.”
She stiffened before nodding. “I’m sorry Oppa. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop.” He grunted in response.
“We probably weren’t that quiet either.” He mumbled before another silence stretched. “So what do you plan to do?”
His blunt words took her by surprise. She had still expected him to demand she return with him. Threaten to call the police… not that it had worked for her before, but… just anything besides the silence enveloping them. Didn’t he want to go to bed? Didn’t he want to go home? Why was he sitting with her?
“I…” She opened her mouth, but her words died off as she deflated. “I don’t know.” He hummed giving her courage. “But I don’t want to make it harder on you all that it already is.” She blurted.
He nodded again before bluntly stating. “Life is hard.” She found her mouth falling open at his response as her brain searched for… anything really. How… what could she reply to that. Even in her barely 13 years she had learned this truth. Finally, she nodded, remaining silent.
“Life is hard.” He spoke again. “Things happen because of choices we make, and they happen because of choices others make. And sometimes they happen just because.”
She sat there trying to wrap her brain around what he was saying, but he continued. “Some people in our lives are only temporary, and others permanent as well.” He grunted scowling a little as he mumbled to himself “Sometimes that’s a good thing.” He seemed to shake himself a bit as he glanced at her briefly before returning his stair to the outside world. “But the good one… the good ones you hold onto as long as you can.”
She blinked expecting him to continue. When he didn’t, she turned to look at the banana milk carton again. “Bad things happen. Bad people happen. But…” She took a shuddering breath. “But we can’t throw out the good just because of the bad.” She mumbled remembering her mother chatting to her after she’d come home in tears over “failing” (or rather not getting a perfect score) on her English exam. She remembered sobbing in her arms telling her how the girl placed next to her had sighed and huffed and kicked the desk so much that it had distracted her. That the same girl had also gotten a few other girls in the class to pick on her and bully her because she was smart. She remembered declaring she would never be friends with anyone again. They were all rotten people.
Her mother had simply said “Bad people don’t make life bad. It’s up to the good people to help each other make it through.” She could almost see her mom smiling at her. “What's good is good, in the end.”
“…Things don’t always go as intended, but discomfort is something everyone has to withstand.”
She blinked, finding herself back to the convenience store just as the rapper finished speaking. She realized she was throwing the good, the people who wanted to help because that’s what good people do, out with all the bad she’d experienced. “I… I want to help good people too.” She murmured missing the sudden jerk of his head toward her and the shocked expression before he schooled his features again.
“Sounds good kid.” He paused. “But it won’t be easy.”
She bit her lip absently. “But… hard things aren’t always bad… English is hard, but I enjoy it. And it’s so useful to learn.”
He grunts, but she can see out of the corner of her eye that he’s listening. She starts to share a little about her journey into the English language. How she had been the top student at her school, and didn’t always mind the extra hour or so she spent at her Hagwan perfecting her English. He listened as he sipped his coffee. She sounded so much like Namjoon, but with a little more help. She talked about learning the letters and basic sounds from US children’s shows. But then “I hit a wall it felt like.” She gave a small huffing laugh earning a look from the elder.
“English is hard. It’s so complicated with all the sounds, and rules, and…and… Did you know that A can have multiple sounds? And some words can sound the same, and even be spelled the same, but have vastly different meanings!”
“Like what?
Like… She searched the store the convenience store they were seated in. Oh! Like Take out!” She pointed to the sign across the way on the chicken shop. “It could mean take food home to eat, take someone out of the house on a date, or even kill someone!” She giggled.
He nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, English is hard.”
She huffed, nodding as she played with the banana milk carton. “That’s why it was taking me longer than it did Japanese.”
He cocked his head. “You speak Japanese?”
She nodded still absently fiddling with her banana milk. “I’m not an expert, but I can get by as long as they don’t talk to fast or mumble.”
He paused thinking. “Well kid. I think it’s time to head home.”
Home? She wondered, but didn’t dare speak her thoughts. Would she ever have a home?
**************************
Upon returning, she and the elder were met by 6 frantic guys who scolded them both for not telling them where they were going all the while trying to give her food and hot chocolate because “You must be freezing!”
Before she could take 2 steps in the room she stopped gaping at the tree in the corner. It was magnificent! Its green boughs were covered in gold ornaments, bows, lights, and even a large golden star on the top. She wondered again if she might have made it to Heaven, and no one told her yet. But she was soon gasping as Jungkook walked from beside the tree to her, reaching out to hand her a large gold wrapped package. “For… for me?”
He nodded grinning widely. “For you.”
“We had planned on a little different start to the day, but someone…” Jimin shot Jungkook a frowning pout “Got a little too excited.”
“It’s okay Oppa. I…” Her words cut off as she opened the package to find a new black winter coat. It’s thick, and puffy, and she knew without ever putting it on that it was going to be the warmest coat she’d ever worn. “Thank you…” She managed shakily. But it was not over yet. Before she was done, there were packages in front of her spilling over.
Jimin was next, coming with a large bag. Inside she found purple mittens, a hat, and a scarf to go with her new coat. And under those were 3 of their albums including her favorite Love Yourself Answer, and a small purple Bluetooth speaker.
Hoseok came after, and excitedly passed her a medium gift bag that had a small purse and an envelope. She hesitated, but with the guys urging, she opened it to see multiple gift cards to clothing stores. “I didn’t know your exact size. So, I thought maybe you could choose your own.” Hobie beamed at her. She fidgeted a little with the envelope while biting her lip.
“Um… Would you.” She took a deep breath. “Would you come with me, so I get the right style?” He let out a cheer and earned a whine from Taehyung. “Hyung! I want to come too!”
Jin gave her a small BT21 keychain (of course of him, that gets him a ribbing from the others), a pair of his personally designed pajamas with little RJ’s all over them, a fluffy purple blanket, and a small basket of facial products including face masks.
Taehyung came bouncing over after placing a large box in her lap. Inside she found an umbrella (Tata of course) and a very large Tata plushie. She gaped at it before squeezing it excitedly. “I love it! It’s the best thing ever!”
This of course set Jin off shouting about how RJ is the best which in turn caused the others to chime in that their character was obviously the best. “Yours was literally searching through the trash!”
“Yah! He had a rough start! At least mine doesn’t lose his ears when he’s startled!”
“Um… Guys” Her voice was hesitant after her initial shock.
“Hey! At least he’s peaceful. Kookie is the violent one!”
“Guys!” she tried adding a little more force but was still drowned out by the 7 other “normal boys.”
“What?!” The youngest mouth hung open “ Well, at least mine isn’t afraid of milk!”
“Guys!” She shouted as loud as she could causing the others to turn startled before they each started blushing. She let out a huff shaking her head. “I like each of your characters equally.” This earned her a hopeful look as she continued. “They each have a unique history, and I love every single one.” Jungkook opened his mouth, but she gave her best pursed lip glare making him snap it shut. “So, there should be no argument over whose is better. They are all amazing. Just like you.” Her last words were muttered, but the guys heard it.
While she was ducking her head and starting to put things back in the bag her hand hit a box she’d missed. Pulling it out, she found a cell phone. An actual phone. She had always wanted one, but her mom told her she didn’t need one until she was at least 14. Then the sickness came and…
She felt tears forming as she held the phone. The members notice the tears, and panic explaining that it will be on their phone plan for as long as she needs it no matter where she goes. She nodded taking a minute before wiping her eyes on her sleeve. Hobie hurried to hand her a tissue. “Thank you.” She wished there was a better word to express what she was feeling, but…
Namjoon was next, and his gift ended up being a purple backpack, English textbooks and novels (age appropriate), and a ton of writing stuff. “I know you said you were studying before everything happened, and I wanted to help you get a start on it again.” He stops as Jimin sends him a look making him give a chagrined smile. “Um… anyway, Yoongi Hyung. It’s your turn.” He quickly blurts.
Yoongi sighed shaking his head as he stands. Walking over slowly he seemed to hesitate as he looked one last time at the others. But a nod from Namjoon and a grin from Hobie seems to give him courage. He simply stoode in front of her holding out a key.
She looked at it confused, but then quickly glanced up at him expectantly. “Um… So… we all talked about it, and…” He looked anywhere from the wall behind her to the floor, and she started to get nervous. “Why did I lose at rock paper scissors.” He muttered
“Are you kicking me out?” She blurted looking from one member to the next. “I mean, I knew it couldn’t last forever, but I want to say how happy the past two days have been. It’s been the best Christmas ever, and I will always remember it.” She blinked a few times before giving a small sniff turning to Namjoon.
“I know you said you heard me at the river, but what I didn’t say aloud was if she wouldn’t come take me with her, at least could she send me a good Christmas memory? Something I can look back on and get strength from. And she did.” She beamed as she let out a watery giggle. “She sent me BTS.”
Namjoon stuttered looking frantically at Yoongi who simply looked floored. Finally, Taehyung blurted “We want you to live with us.”
“Huh?”
“What he means is,” Namjoon spoke after clearing his throat “we want to help you find a permanent home. We…” He paused looking at the members. “We aren’t sure what the next two years will look like for us, but no matter what, we want to make sure you are taken care of.”
She blinked staring dumbly. Jimin let out a nervous chuckle. “Hyung… she’s speechless.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Why isn’t she speaking?”
“Maybe she doesn’t want to be surrounded by you all and your noise.” Yoongi grumbled as the comments kept coming tumbling over the other like puppies at play.
“No!” She practically shouted finding her voice before putting her hand to her mouth in embarrassment. “No. I mean, I… I would love to stay here. Until or if you can find someone to help me.” She hurried on as Namjoon opened his mouth. “I can cook, and clean, and even run errands for you if you need me to. I won’t eat much, and I can sleep anywhere especially now that I have my own blanket.” She beamed at Jin whose ears were a not so subtle red as he puffed out his chest.
“That’s not what we meant though,” Namjoon interrupted making her turn to him concerned. “We want you to have a normal life. Or at least as normal as a 13-year-old can have. We’ll get you re-enrolled in school.” He turned to Jungkook. “I think the one JK went to would be a good option.”
The youngest nodded. “It was really good. And they were very accommodating with our schedule and stuff like deadlines and such.”
“Yah, and you worked your tail off too. Dance practice, voice lessons, practices, tours, fan signs, award shows! Don’t cut yourself short.” Suga butted in firmly.
“Hyung…I… it wasn’t hard because I had Hyung’s to help me.” the younger blushed pouting.
“Anyway, We want you to keep learning, and keep studying so you are ready for whatever you choose to do in life.” Namjoon continued.
“But… I… I can’t just leach off of you!” She looked around frantically. “There has to be some way I can pay you back!”
“But you won’t be leaching off of us.” She turned still looking panicked and confused as he smiled gently before continuing. “Because seeing you grow and achieve your dreams is what we are all about. It’s been our message since our debut. We want to help you just like we want to help every other Army out there. But we’re only 7 guys, not gods.”
“No matter what those fanfictions say…” Yoongi again muttered earning a stern look from Namjoon.
“We haven’t talked to our parents yet, but it might be such a thing as when we leave or go on tours, you can stay with them. That’s one reason I thought of JK’s school. Because they are used to students not always being able to be present in the classroom, but still excel in their studies.”
“And who knows. You might end up being our interpreter some day if we go to Japan.” Yoongi again spoke bluntly.
“What?”
She blushed. “Suga Oppa… I’m not that good.”
“You speak English and Japanese?” Namjoon blurted looking excited.
“Um… not…”
“Guys! We have time to talk about that later. For now…” Jin turned with a flourish pointing to a closed door. “Let’s show her to her new room.”
“My… my room?” Her voice pitched higher at the end as she gaped at the men in front of her.
“Yep. Well, technically it was a storage room/Hobie’s shoe closet, but we’re going to get it set up for you asap.” Jimin giggled as Hoseok pouted.
“I don’t have that many shoes…”
“But…” She looked again for any sign of trickery.
“But nothing. You asked for a Christmas miracle. A memory that you can look back on and find strength. Well, this is the start of a whole new life for you. So, whenever you see us, you can find strength.” Hobie piped up cheerfully.
“Just as we find strength and courage to push forward whenever we see you happy.” Taehyung murmured.
She bit her lip feeling tears coming. “I… I don’t know what to say.”
“Say yes.”
She nodded as she sniffled losing the battle with her emotions. “Yes.” She sobbed as she threw herself at Yoongi who, though startled, managed to catch her. “Thank you. I…”
He grunted. “S’kay kid. Just remember to dream.”
“Honey.”
“Dream…”
“Honey!”
“Dream”
“Sweetie! Wake up. You’ll be late for school.”
“Okay Namjoon-shi.” She murmured.
“Who?” She blinked opening her eyes to see the morning rays shining through the window of…her old bedroom? The poster from their Love Yourself Answer album plastered on her ceiling caught her attention as she grinned. Thankful that she saw something that made her happy first thing after waking up. She shoved her favorite purple blanket off accidentally dislodging her Tata plushie barely managing to catch him before he hit the floor. “Sorry Tata!” She spoke absently mind still feeling foggy.
Sitting in a daze she glanced at her desk where her purple backpack with her TinyTan Jin keychain dangling off it sat waiting for her to shove her English lesson books in.
“Sweetie! You really need to hurry up! You have 20 minutes before you have to leave.”
“Okay Mom.” She blurted as her feet hit the floor. She rushes to change into her school uniform before grabbing her black coat.
“And don’t forget your scarf and mittens.” Her mom called out.
“Got it mom!” She grabs the purple items as she rushed to the front door.
“Not so fast!” Her mom appeared, dark hair starting to show subtle hints of gray, but skin almost flawless for being in her late 40’s. “At least drink some banana milk before you leave.”
“Thanks mom.” She grabs the carton and chugs it down.
“I didn’t mean like that.” Her mothers exasperated tone making her grin.
“Love you mom!” She calls out as she rushed out the door.
Sitting on the bus a few minutes later she pauses. What was she forgetting. She felt like she had an amazing dream, but she couldn’t remember any of it now. Just a feeling of being loved. She sighed as she looked out the window. Oh! She murmured. It’s snowing! The first snow of the year.