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Tony is drunk. Drunk off his ass, drunker than a skunk, actually might fall off his couch drunk.
It’s one of those rare nights when he doesn’t have a girl in his bed and, even rarer, has instead convinced Rhodey to come over and get absolutely shitfaced with him. They’re on the third crappy movie of the night and by this point they’re so wasted Rhodey couldn’t even hazard a guess as to what the plot is. He squints at the TV from where he’s splayed on the couch. A romcom, maybe?
“Rhodey, Rhodey Rhodey, honeybear, platypus, my sweet little sugar-”
“Huh-wuh, Tones?”
Tony is making grabby hands from his side of the couch. “You’re hogging all the popcorn. Gimme gimme.” He’s humming ABBA now, and Rhodey really can’t help the fond smile on his face, because drunk Rhodey gets to be in love with his best friend and face absolutely no consequences. Or in this case, the only consequences are losing ownership of the bowl in his lap.
He’s clearly taking too long for Tony, though, because Tony is now trying to crawl across the couch towards him. It’s not going very well, and Rhodey is laughing as Tony gets his legs tangled in the blanket that was on his lap. Tony twists around once, twice, and oh there he goes. Right off the couch and onto the rug below.
“Aw, fuck,” Tony groans.
Rhodey is laughing so hard his sides hurt. Despite the double vision, he scootches his way to the edge of the cushions and peers over. Tony is laying in a heap on the ground, the blanket still twisted around his legs.
“Help me up,” Tony groans, but through his slurring it sounds more like, “elpeup”.
Tony drags himself up into a sitting position, putting his face right in front of Rhodey’s, and oh, maybe drunk in love Rhodey does have consequences, because Tony’s eyes are big and brown this close up, and his lips are right there, and Rhodey can’t help the way his eyes drop to his mouth. He’s going to pull back, he’s going to get out of Tony’s space and help him back up on the couch, and everything will be fine.
Before he can do any of that, though, Tony leans forward that last inch and kisses him. It’s dry, and Tony’s breath smells like the beer they’ve been drinking all night, but Rhodey can’t find it in himself to see the kiss as anything other than perfect as he presses closer to Tony.
Too close, apparently, because the popcorn bowl in his lap tips forward and upends all over the floor. They break apart and this time they’re both laughing, Tony with popcorn and butter all down his shirt and in his lap.
“You’re gonna make me clean all of this up by myself, platypus?” Tony asks as he begins picking up the kernels.
Rhodey rolls his eyes, lips still tingling. “I don’t know, I’m so comfortable up here and you’re already on the floor.” All he gets is a huff in response, so Rhodey tests his luck. He lays back down on the couch and counts (and maybe has a minor crisis because oh my god he just kissed his best friend.) He frowns when he gets to sixty. Surely Tony would’ve bothered him by now.
He sticks his head back over the edge of the couch and chuckles. Tony is curled up next to the popcorn bowl, head pillowed on his arms and stray pieces of popcorn scattered around his head.
Carefully, Rhodey eases his way onto the ground and starts picking up the popcorn. Once the floor is clear and the bowl’s been left in the kitchen, he focuses back on Tony. They’re getting too old to sleep on the floor, but Tony sleeping anywhere is a good thing, so Rhodey nudges a pillow under his head and adjusts the blanket so that it’s fully covering him.
He climbs back up on the couch, turns off the TV, and gets comfortable, smiling at Tony softly before laying down. They’ll have to talk in the morning but for now Rhodey couldn’t be happier.
—————————
He doesn’t remember. Rhodey wakes up first, cleans up from the night before, and even makes those pancakes of his that Tony likes so much. Tony stumbles into the kitchen while Rhodey is pulling syrup out of the pantry, and promptly claims that his head is killing him but they must’ve had fun last night because it’s all a blur. Rhodey is five seconds away from walking out the door, but he loves Tony more than he could ever be upset with him. So he smiles and nods and says that yeah, he can’t even remember what movies they watched, and they don’t talk about it.
Three weeks go by with Rhodey very subtly trying to bring up the kiss, to see if Tony remembers anything from that night, and nothing. Either Tony really doesn’t remember it or he’s determined to move on, which, fine. Rhodey will move on. If that’s what Tony wants, he’ll do it.
Tony is over at his place for once, and despite it being a work night they may have made the poor decision to stay up too late playing board games. It brings Rhodey back to their college days, sitting on the floor in their tiny dorm and taking turns trouncing the other. It’s fun, snacks are thrown and there’s enough yelling to probably disturb his neighbors, and Rhodey remembers why he fell in love with Tony in the first place.
When he’s not sleeping around or drowning himself in a bottle, Tony is smart and funny, generous without showing it, and underneath the rough exterior is the same kid Rhodey met in college, just looking for someone to stay.
Rhodey loves him so much sometimes it feels like his heart will burst out of his chest. If this is how things stay forever, it’ll be enough.
—————————
Tony is late, surprising absolutely no one. Rhodey doesn’t have to leave for another half hour, but Pepper scheduled an early meeting that Tony can’t miss and she scares him more than he hates meetings, so here he is.
Rhodey’s watching from the kitchen island as Tony rushes around gathering his things. How his overnight bag got so scattered is a question for the ages, so Rhodey just sips his coffee and watches as Tony fishes his phone out from under the couch.
“You know Pepper won’t actually kill you if you’re late.”
“You’re right, she’ll do something worse. She’ll make me go to more meetings.”
Rhodey chuckles. “You got me there. If you leave now you might even be early.”
Tony squawks. “I can’t have them thinking I want to be there! Five minutes is fashionably late, I’ll have you know.”
“If you say so.”
“I do. I’ll even walk in with a coffee to make a point.” Tony finally wrestles the zipper closed on his bag and passes Rhodey at the island. “Thanks for the fun, honeybear, don’t be a stranger.”
He leans in, and Rhodey watches in slow motion as Tony’s lips barely brush his cheek before he freezes like a deer in headlights. Oh. Oh. Maybe Tony does remember after all. Maybe he feels the same.
Carefully, before Tony can pull back and laugh it off like a joke, Rhodey brings his hand up to cup Tony’s cheek.
“You don’t have to be drunk to kiss me Tony,” he says fondly.
“Oh.” Tony blinks.
Slowly, Rhodey leans in, gives Tony enough time to back away. He doesn’t, and Rhodey can’t help his sigh as their lips meet. Neither of them are drunk this time, and the only thing he tastes on Tony’s lips is toothpaste. This kiss is barely a press of lips, but he still feels winded when Tony pulls back. Rhodey’s smile is so wide he knows he must look ridiculous, but he can’t bring himself to care, not when Tony is looking at him with those soft eyes and fond smile.
Tony’s smile shifts, and he looks off to the side. “I’m, well, you know I’m a shit boyfriend. All I’m really good at are the gifts. If you wanted me to spend more money on you all you had to do was ask.”
It’s self deprecating in the way Tony so often is, but Rhodey’s not going to let him get away with it, not this time. “Tones, I’ve been in love with you since college. I haven’t left yet, and I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.”
“Wait a minute, are you saying–” Tony actually looks peeved. “You’re telling me I’ve been calling you honeybear for years and we could’ve been dating this whole time!? That’s so many horrible pet names missed out on, sugar plum. Sweetie pie, pumpkin, the opportunities are endless! I have so much lost time to make up for!” He actually does kiss Rhodey’s cheek this time as he goes for the door. “We will continue this conversation later, kitten!”
The door slams closed behind him, and Rhodey just chuckles into his coffee. If sickening pet names is the price of dating Tony, he’ll gladly be called snookums every day for the rest of his life.