Chapter Text
Yooka searched around carefully for what he needed right now. This was nothing new to him: he had quickly accepted that he had a duty to collect as many things as he could find. The only frustrating thing about it was actually acquiring these things, but he had never been shy to ask for something when he needed it.
This particular thing was more or less easy to find. He had suspected the general location and was pleased to find it sitting not very far away. He drew a breath and approached. “Good morning, Trowzer! How are you doing today?”
Trowzer had hung up his phone when he saw Yooka coming up to him, quickly stuffing it down his pants. “Ah, hello my friend! A marvelousss morning to you! I am well, thank you. Where isss our batty companion on this beautiful day??”
“Oh, uh, yeah. Laylee said that she was… feeling tired this morning and decided to take the day off.”
“Oh, pity. I had jussst thought up a new move for her lassst night. Oh well.” He shrugged as best he could with no arms. “And why aren't you taking the day off, my chum??” He casually flicked his tongue.
Yooka shifted his weight and scratched at one of his frills. “Oh, you know… Uh, those pagies and quills aren't going to collect themselves! Heheh…” He could tell that he grimaced more than he properly smiled.
“Very true!” Trowzer nodded and smiled. “Sssee, that'sss what i like about you, friend: you alwaysss put yourssself out there to make sssure a job is complete. It'sss admirable! Why, you remind me of myssself when i wasss your age. Kindered ssspirits, you and i!” He grinned proudly.
Yooka grinned a bit bashfully and waved his hand. “Oh, come on, you can't be THAT much older than me! A young entrepreneur like you shouldn't even suggest something so silly!”
“Nyeheh! Well, i like to think i have a good ssskincare routine. I ssshed every sssix weeks.” He leaned in the tiniest bit. “And may i sssay, your ssscales are looking quite lovely today. Ssso vibrant! It really isss a gorgeousss color you're wearing.”
Yooka tensed up and immediately examined his arms. “Oh, dear, am i shifting colors again?” He tried to chuckle, but it almost sounded more like coughing. “I guess that's what happens when your skin is basically a giant mood ring.” He cleared his throat and glanced away.
Trowzer nodded. “Oh yesss, your moodsss, of courssse. Nyeh, you mussst not be very good at poker. We ssshould play a game sssometime to put that theory to the tessst!” He snickered.
Yooka thought up a reply, but the implication of it made him squirm and grimace and shift colors again. ‘I'd have nothing to wager if we played strip poker!’ He couldn't just SAY that! But with the color of his scales, he may as well have.
Trowzer blinked in surprise at the intense hue. “Woah, calm down there, fella! It wasss jussst a joke! We don't actually have to play cardsss.”
Yooka swallowed hard. “N-no no, it's fine! W-we could play sometime. It sounds like it'd be fun!” He grinned awkwardly, and his color became more regular.
Trowzer cocked his head and blinked. “Okay, if you want. I bet that partner of yoursss is a real card sssharp.”
He huffed a giggle. “Yeah, she's pretty good. But you seem like a professional gr-grinder…” Yooka closed his eyes tight and poked at his nose, debating whether to bring it up. “Y-ya know she's like my sister, right???”
“Oh, isss that ssso??? I didn't want to asssume the relationssship between you two. It isss alwaysss charming to sssee how you play off of one another.” He flicked his tongue again. “But you are ssso much more pleasssant to talk to.” Trowzer smiled.
Yooka stared tensely at him, clearly trying to decide on something or figure something out. Trowzer watched him patiently; glancing him up and down quickly before deepening his smile. The kindness unnerved Yooka further, and he had to look away. Trowzer cocked his eyebrow, and nearly jumped when his phone rang. “Oh, pleasse excussse me, i need to take thisss.”
“Wait!!!” Yooka held up a hand, and quickly fished around for a dense handful of quills to clumsily offer. “H-how many quills would you take in exchange for a k-ki… sss…” He shrunk his head back with a grimace and his colors flashed in a way that very clearly exhibited his embarrassment.
Trowzer had pulled out his phone, but his jaw dropped when he heard the request. He let it ring. “Yooka, i'm sssurprised at you!!” Yooka shamefully started to retract his full hand. “Don't you know that Elite Cussstomersss get that as a free bonusss???” He smirked and set the ringer on silent.
Yooka stared in shock. “W-w-what???”
Trowzer leaned towards him. “Jussst don't tell your pal that ssshe isssn't an Elite.” He winked.
Yooka felt like he wasn't able to understand. He looked him straight in the eye and tilted his head downward. “S-so???”
Trowzer smirked at him happily and nodded. “Yesss, Yooka, i'll kisss you.”
His colors flashed a few different hues quickly before settling on the bright colors that Trowzer said he liked. He huffed out some giggles and grinned like an idiot.
The two inched towards one another and when they were close enough, Trowzer softly bumped their noses together to maintain the levity. Yooka reeled a bit and giggled again before carefully closing the gap between them.
They gently pressed their lips together. Yooka could immediately feel a rush of endorphins wash over him like an ocean wave when they connected. He had waited longer than he dared to admit to finally kiss that slippery snake, but he thought that it was completely worth it to be where he was right now. He sighed out happily through his nose, and smiled wide as his body melted with satisfaction.
Kissing Yooka felt as bright and playful as Trowzer imagined it to be. It was probably just the color of his scales that convinced him of it, but he would certainly compare the feeling to tasting a fresh lime. He definitely liked it, and he liked it much more when he felt Yooka move against him. He smiled in return and pulled back a bit.
Before he could get far at all, Yooka reached his hand up behind Trowzer's head and pulled him back in. He was surprised that Yooka was bold enough to do that, but he didn't resist at all. He submitted completely when Yooka deepened the kiss, and when he grabbed tightly onto his necktie. Yooka let a desperate moan escape, and Trowzer's muscles tensed nervously.
Yooka moved more against Trowzer's lips. He followed and eagerly reciprocated the passion that Yooka was pushing against him, having never thought he would be capable of something so intimate. He was surprised when he felt Yooka's lips part, and downright shocked when he felt his tongue brush against his top lip. He reflexively pulled back some, but Yooka kept a tight hold of him. He barely opened his eyes to look into Trowzer's wide ones and breathed out. “Please.”
It wasn't desperate. It was firm and certain in its conviction, and that only further stunned Trowzer. He never thought he would actually get to see Yooka act like this in person, but he wasn't about to let this fantasy pass him by. He tried to gulp up as much air as he could before smashing their lips back together. He wasted no time slipping his forked tongue into Yooka's mouth, delicately flicking it against his palate.
Yooka hummed low as he pushed his tongue past Trowzer's teeth. He could feel him quiver the tiniest bit, and he tightened his hold on his tie. He prodded around slowly, exploring the textures of the different parts of his mouth and realizing that he tasted surprisingly more like mint than he dreamed he would. He guessed that Trowzer tried to keep his breath fresh to not scare customers away. It made him taste delicious.
Their tongues slid past each other, and both of them enjoyed the feeling. Trowzer slipped his around and underneath Yooka's, and he seemed to catch on immediately because he dragged his over top of Trowzer's. They circled their tongues around for a few seconds, breaking just enough to guzzle up some air. Yooka chuckled a bit, and Trowzer hummed fondly. They looked at one another for a moment: dreamy, lidded eyes twinkling with how much they wanted this.
Yooka barely pulled Trowzer in close again, connecting their lips and reintroducing their tongues. This time, Yooka held him still as he stuffed more of his tongue into his mouth; overtaking it and making him flinch a bit. When he felt like he took up enough space, he loosened his grip on his head and gently tapped his fingers against his skull. He hummed quietly to soothe him, and Trowzer relaxed to let Yooka do whatever he wanted with him.
When they had started kissing, Trowzer had forgotten that Yooka was a chameleon: especially one with such a talented and adventurous tongue. Now that it was almost literally slipping down his throat, Trowzer realized that HE might be the one that needed to get some lessons in how to use his. He made a mental note of it and wondered what Yooka would charge him for it. He completely lost his train of thought when he felt his fork get wrapped up completely in his own mouth. His eyes grew wide and tried to focus on the lizard in front of him.
Yooka opened his eyes and his mouth. He reeled his head back an inch or two to meet Trowzer's gaze; never taking any less space in the snake's maw. Trowzer felt dumbfounded and kept his jaws open too, not properly comprehending what was going on. He gave a desperate, confused look to Yooka, but all he got back was a flirty eyebrow motion.
Yooka slowly slid his coiled tongue part way off of Trowzer's, maintaining his lidded leer. Trowzer continued watching, laboriously breathing through his nose to keep himself centered. Yooka blinked slowly and moaned sensually as he pushed his tongue back into Trowzer's mouth, wrapping his tongue up again until there was barely space for either of them. Trowzer's eyes got even wider, and his face got even redder, and he tried in vain to speak some jumbled up words with his occupied yapper. The panicky sounds all melted into heavy moans of pleasure when Yooka moved his tongue again, and his rolling eyes were happily rewarded with a gentle pet on his head.
Trowzer received a few more of these salacious motions of Yooka's masterful tongue, being filled and emptied at a delectable pace. He was the only thing he was at all capable of thinking about. Neither bothered at all to try and keep quiet: it was clear what this was and it was clear that they were both deeply enjoying it. Trowzer got to see just how adventurous his cute little customer actually was, and Yooka got a chance to deliciously make out with his sneaky, snakey crush. Neither could have asked for this to go any other way.
Yooka breathed in deeply and shut his eyes again. He reconnected their lips and pushed his tongue into Trowzer's mouth as far as it could go while still being coiled around his tongue. They both moaned when he did: Yooka's deep with satisfaction and Trowzer's desperate for more. Yooka slowly unwrapped his tongue, taking this final opportunity to drink up as much of his mouth as he could. When Trowzer was fully released, Yooka pushed just the tiniest bit more into him before reeling his tongue back to himself.
On the last few centimeters, Yooka pulled back again to lock eyes with Trowzer. He seemed like he was in a trance. Yooka brushed his cheek lovingly and slid his hand down his tie to release him, finally breaking away. They were disconnected for barely a moment before Trowzer leaned forward and clumsily smushed their lips together again, exchanging one final passionate kiss. Yooka grinned bashfully and flashed colors again. He giggled, “oh gosh.”
He meekly stepped back to give Trowzer some space, and Trowzer removed his tail from Yooka's shoulder and head: something he didn't realize he was doing until he stopped. Trowzer stared at him for a moment, not quite certain what to feel about such a touchy guy reverting back to his regular adorable mannerisms so quickly. All he knew was that it was enchanting. He shook his head and breathed in deeply. “And THAT'SSS why you're an Elite Cussstomer!”
Yooka blushed and scratched at his frill. “Oh. Huh, yeah. S-sorry if i went… really overboard there. I guess i was a little too excited to fully consider what i was doing.”
“No problem at all, love! I had a magnificccent time!!” He grinned wide and waggled his tail. “By the way, you wouldn't mind filling out a quick sssurvey, would you???” He pulled out a pen and a clipboard.
“Uh…” Yooka glanced his eyes around.
“‘Would you sssay that you are sssatisfied with today's ssservice or product?’”
He answered slowly. “Eh, yes.”
Trowzer checked a box with the pen between his teeth. “‘On a ssscale of one to ten, how sssatisfied are you with today's ssservice or product?’”
“T-ten???”
Trowzer hummed. “‘How likely are you to recommend today's ssservice or product?’”
He blushed, “uh–”
“Doyoulikeme y n???” Trowzer glanced his eyes away playfully.
Yooka's colors shifted and he fidgeted anxiously. “Um. Y-yes, i do…”
“Excccellent!!!” He carelessly tossed his things behind himself and grinned wide. “Well, i like you a lot, too, my breathtaking friend!”
Yooka gasped, “wait– really???!!” Trowzer smiled brightly and nodded. “Oh my goodness!!” Yooka started fidgeting in place, turning all sorts of colors in some kind of excited rainbow of stripes and patterns. “S-so what does this mean now? W-what are we???” His eyes sparkled expectantly.
Trowzer waved his tail and smirked. “Oh, i'm sure we can work out the ‘terms and conditions’ later.” He motioned for the quotation marks.
“You're right. We don't need to be so specific yet.” Yooka breathed deeply. “Well, i guess i better get back to collecting. Laylee's gonna be expecting some high totals. Back to business.” He shrugged and turned to walk away.
But his phrasing caused a panic attack in Trowzer: he had his phone silently ringing off the hook this whole time! He quickly fumbled it into his grip. “Yes, business!!! Must get back to business!!!” He cautiously hit the answer button, completely underestimating how loud and angry the client on the other end would be.
The commotion made Yooka whip his head back around in surprise. He felt bad about keeping Trowzer distracted for so long, but was currently too happy to really let the guilt touch him. Trowzer desperately glanced over at him, failing miserably to calm down his client with his weak apologies. Yooka gave him a smile and an understanding shrug.
Before the moment passed, Yooka kissed his palm and blew it cutely at Trowzer. Instead of doing any good, the expression flustered him to the point where he fumbled his phone, dropping it on the ground and only making the client more upset. Yooka covered his mouth in shock, and he decided to get out of there before he could distract Trowzer any further. He figured that he really would need to collect those quills to make up for whatever sale he cost him with that kissy fetch quest. He just hoped that he wouldn't need to spend too much time trying to find enough.