Chapter Text
You asked me why I risked my life to save yours. I told you I wasn’t even really sure why myself, and that was an honest answer. I had no ulterior motive, no personal vendetta, no sad sob story or shocking reveal of personality to share with you. I just did what I had to do. Certain things just make my blood boil and I can’t stop myself. I’ve never been good at keeping out of trouble because of that.
I turned my back to you then, unconcerned about your outcome now that the immediate threat was gone, but when I glanced back I noticed your eyes welling up with tears. There was a light shining in them - it was only after I had extracted the fleshbud that they revealed the person inside.
That sight of you, seeing the real you for the first time, has been burned vividly into my memory.
-
Returning to Japan after the journey into Egypt was a relief but the struggle to return to routine life was just beginning. Polnareff went back to France but promised he would keep in touch. Kakyoin was in the hospital for almost two months before being discharged and sent back to Japan. The Old Man and Grandma stuck around for awhile to keep an eye on my mother, and my father had returned from his tour soon after as well, so it was a full house. Speedwagon Foundation agents came around a couple times too, giving us debriefings and counselling support and checking on our physical recovery. It was busy and crowded and annoying as hell for a couple of weeks - I just wanted to be left alone.
The first few days back were unusually quiet though. There was the initial excitement with our safe return and seeing my mother well again, but the memories of those we lost and all the lives we didn't manage to save swept over us and left the house in a silent state of respectful mourning. My body was finally able to relax, which meant that I could now really feel all the abuse it had taken. The knife wounds and other deep cuts were stitched up and healing but walking around and picking things up was still quite painful. Everything else ached or was bruised and tender. I mostly just slept during these days. I wish I could have slept straight through the whole week.
Instead I awoke early on one of those mornings, still suffering from jet lag and unable to keep a regular sleeping pattern. It was particularly quiet, no one else was up yet. A rare stillness settled throughout the house. I found myself sitting on the edge of the engawa, looking out at the gardens. The chilled breeze raised goose bumps down my arms while my T-shirt and pajama pants just barely kept it at bay. Japan felt a lot colder now after returning from much warmer climates.
I just sat and watched the filtered sunlight play on the water and dapple the plants, grass, and stones. The sozu sounded off at its slow and regular tempo.
As serene as it was outside, it was impossible to calm myself inside. Memories of the last few months were constantly plaguing my mind. I had been running on anger the whole time and any loss just fuelled it more. It allowed me to step up to anything, do anything. But now I was back home. And it was quiet. And I had nothing to fight anymore. A lot of the things that pissed me off before leaving Japan seemed so petty and trivial now. I felt empty.
“May I join you, Jotaro?” My mother’s singsong voice rang out behind me. My initial reaction was to tell her off but I caught myself.
“Do what you want.”
“Yay!” She clapped her hands together and sat down next to me, joining in gazing out into the gardens. After a moment her expression fell a little and she laced her fingers together on her lap, looking down at them.
“Actually, I just wanted to say thank you. You did so much for me. A parent shouldn't ask that of their child.”
“Shut it.” It wasn't her fault any of this happened, and what was I gonna do, just let her die? She smiled at my response anyway and shook her head.
“I really mean it. Thank you.”
“Don’t…” I closed my eyes and could feel myself trembling. The emptiness was overwhelming - it squeezed the air from my lungs. My mother placed a gentle hand on my back.
“I won't tell anyone,” she said quietly.
I couldn't hold it back anymore. I slowly crumpled forward into her lap, grasped at her apron, and buried my face into my arms. She stroked the back of my head as sobs racked my entire body. I could barely breathe, taking air in gulps or shuddered long inhales. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd done this. Mom just stayed there with me, holding me until I stopped shaking and my breathing returned to a regular and steady state.
-
I heard you calling us, but maybe it was more like I felt it. You returned to us.
I’ve had to wait for you more than once, I’ll wait for you again...
-
Things picked up again with everyone getting back into their daily lives. My mother was coddling me even more than usual, which was irritating and ridiculous given that I was the one who had just saved her life. She told me that I could take as much time off from school as I needed, but we received so many letters and calls from my teachers and principal insisting that I return to my studies as soon as possible that it was easier to just go back to class right away. I ended up only taking a week off after returning home. They didn’t know the whole story of course; they were given some excuse to do with a long vacation and me being sick or something. I just said nothing when they asked me about it directly. Catching up in actual studies meant hitting the ground running. I had missed about a month of classes and also missed the Center Test.
“<You are going to at least graduate high school this year, Jotaro.>”
The Old Man had a gloved finger pointed right into my chest. He was speaking in English and his voice was inappropriately loud as usual.
“<Papa, leave him alone.> Jotaro can take all the time he needs,” my mother said, pulling on his arm in vain to remove the mechanical hand from in front of me. He did finally drop his hand but his eyes were still fixed on mine.
“<I don't want to be responsible for messing up your future too. We needed you then, but you can't just throw away everything else because of it.>” He always spoke in these vague roundabout ways whenever the trip or DIO came up in conversation around others. My mother was never given the gory details - she just didn't need to know. Right now she was pouting at her father, cheeks slightly flushed and her hands on her hips. It was nice to see her back to her energetic self, even if it meant more trouble for me. She opened her mouth to protest again but I cut her off.
“<Fine. I’ll graduate.>” What else did he want me to say? I knew that even through his brashness he always meant well. Maybe he wasn’t expecting that response from me. He just sort of gnashed his teeth a few times and then sighed. I had turned away to head back to my room when he finally called out to me, in a softer tone this time.
“<I’ll be leaving again soon but… if you need anything, Jotaro, just ask!>”
Right. If I need anything…
“I need some fucking space,” I muttered under my breath. I was passing by the kitchen at that moment and noticed my father standing at the doorway looking slightly stricken. He nodded to me and smiled but waited for me to pass by before taking his cup of tea back to his study. I think he was a little scared of me. I certainly wasn’t the same obedient little kid he remembered raising and coming home to after touring. It must have been like having a stranger in your home, only it felt like he was the stranger here at this point. A curt nod back and I was on my way again. I was annoyed and wanted time to myself. Monday was going to be a test of my already short patience.
-
When I think back on it, my first impression of you wasn't a good one. Even before your brazen threat to kill me, I was unnerved by your sudden appearance. I had thought maybe I was just rattled from the fall and cut to my leg. But then I read your note…
-
I was surrounded. I hadn't even made it close to the school gate before I was swarmed by powdered faces, done up hair, strong fragrance, a cacophony of shrill voices. I continued walking my way through them but they followed along completely undeterred. I shook off the few that tried to take my arm in theirs. This had been the morning ritual for years, but after being mysteriously away for so long it's like they saved up every word they normally would have said and unleashed it all on me at once.
No, this was too familiar… this has all happened before. It was the day I first met Kakyoin. I paused at the top of the stone steps. Last time I was here…
“Ah, Jojo! That’s right, you fell down these steps before! Please be careful going down them. Did you want me to hold your hand?” This set off a chorus of ‘me too’s and escalating bickering.
“Just fucking shut up!” I was going to have cracks in my molars from how often I was grinding my teeth these days. I gave them a dark look and they did quiet down for a bit but not for long.
Stairs were actually still painful to go down, but hell if I needed someone to hold my hand to do it. Shooting pain accompanied every step, each time I had to bear my weight onto one leg. I made it to school just fine anyway, maybe a little more fatigued than I had anticipated. I saw that there were repaired portions of the school building that stood out with fresher coats of paint. Otherwise it was exactly the same as when I left. Students and faculty still went about in their usual manner.
As I walked down the hallways classmates looked shocked at seeing me again. A few greeted me but most just curiously watched me go by.
“G-good morning, Kujo.”
“Welcome back?”
There was someone else sitting in my usual desk. We made eye contact and he swiftly vacated the seat. The one at the back by the window, a cliche I guess. I sat down and took in the normalness of it all. No one knew anything. Those in my class that I did speak to regularly came around and asked about where I had been and how I was, creating a buzz of interest that came with anything new or different happening at school. I only shrugged and gave noncommittal answers or told them to mind their own business.
Our teacher came in and settled the class down. He took attendance and finally noticed me sitting there. His expression fluctuated between surprise, dread, and the cover of trying to look pleased. He welcomed me back as well and then lead the class as if I still wasn’t there.
It was a similar experience with each teacher that came in. I don’t think I heard much of what they said anyway. Sitting in a hard chair for so long was causing my whole body to ache even worse.
Lunch break rolled around and I wasn’t up for too much walking either, so I just stood, stretched a bit and stayed in the classroom and read some magazines. It was impossible to not overhear the conversations of the groups of students around me, agonizing over school assignments or not being able to buy some new shoes that were just released. Getting excited over celebrities, upcoming TV shows, when they were all going out next. I never really related to anyone on those levels but now it was almost painful to listen to.
Monday was a write off. I couldn't pay attention to the lessons at all and I was barely able to stop myself from falling asleep. Waking up the next morning feeling stiff as a board didn't bode well for Tuesday either. I started off the day already in a foul mood. I knew there was going to be some kind of trouble coming because that seems to be my kind of luck too. And of course there was.
“Hey, Kujo! So yer back now, huh?”
A group of students from another school, bunch of idiots who thought they were tough, came around to find me on my way home. I had knocked a couple of teeth out of one of their friends a few days before Star Platinum had appeared. It seemed they hadn't forgotten.
“Thought you could take off for a while and we’d just forget about you? Kinda chickenshit, isn't it?” He sneered and his buddies laughed. There were five of them altogether. Unfair in a normal situation but I almost felt some pity for them, they had no idea what they were up against now.
“I don't have time for your bullshit.” I knew they wouldn't just let me walk away but I gave them that one chance to leave as well.
The instigator pulled out a butterfly knife and waved it around. I stayed in spot, hands in pockets, waiting.
“Just gonna stand there? I ain't bluffing, you've had this coming since way back.”
“Can we wrap this up, I'm not in the mood today.” A lie. I was enjoying this bit of excitement despite myself.
He lunged, blade tip directed at my lower torso. I stayed perfectly still and watched his face contort with confusion when his hand went sailing past me. There was an attempt to slash my side as he pulled his arm back but that also failed to make contact. He stared at his knife for a moment trying to figure out what was going on. That's when the blade snapped in half right in front of his eyes, a brief pause, and then the tinging of metal on concrete assuring the reality of what had just happened.
“If you're really that eager to get your face rearranged, come find me again.” I had Star Platinum knock him down for good measure and then leisurely took my leave - he was just about to gut me on the street, it's the least he deserved. His buddies were all around him yelling and asking what the hell just happened. The guy didn't say anything, he just sat on the pavement, nose bleeding and still holding his broken knife.
The adrenaline rush felt good again. Though if I didn't have my Stand I'd probably be hurting pretty bad right now, fighting when everything was still healing.
School used to be something I just went and did. I didn’t feel particularly strongly about it one way or the other, but for the following few weeks it was a struggle to sit through an entire day of it. I didn’t enjoy being put back into the lowly student status either, which caused a lot of grief for any faculty members that had to deal with me. But I gave my word. I had to finish the school year and pass, and not get expelled before then. There weren't too many weeks left. I just had to endure a little longer.