Chapter Text
Starscream sits at a desk in his lab.
His creaky, damp, saltwater-smelling lab deep in the belly of the nemesis and flicks his claw-tipped digits onto the edge of a glass retort flask, listens to the ping with vague interest, then turns his servo, knocking the knuckle of his digit again the same glass edge and takes note of the slight change in the clink sound.
“Amazing discovery Starscream, you're the greatest scientist to ever live. Glass makes sounds.” he whispers to himself sarcastically, changing his voice to a deeper register to mimic…someone else. He isn't sure, just someone else.
A pause. He reaches blindly for the datapad he had abandoned moments before he had become enraptured by the utterly bland and uninteresting flask and forces his optics with great effort to focus on the datapad’s contents.
What he should actually be doing instead of discovering the wonders of glass sounds.
He reads the first line of Thrust's flight report and processes none of it.
He can't. It's impossible, and in response to the challenge, Starscream throws the object at the bulkhead and watches it leave a dent in the metal wall.
He flicks another random piece of equipment, listens to the clink, and pretends he doesn't care that his work is piling up. He very specifically ignores the stack of datapads at his elbow joint, identical to the one he had thrown in nearly every way.
It hadn't been a problem since the academy. Focusing on his responsibilities, that is.
Why can't he just…do the work? It's not hard. Not for everyone else at least, but for some reason Starscream can't force himself to focus on it long enough. He doesn't care.
And these? These are just reports.
Realistically, all he needs to do is skim it once, correct any formatting mistakes and approve with his signature, but it takes so long to do.
Which is why he abandons his desk, locks the three locks to his lab and goes in search of his trine mates.
Finding them is easy. Having access to the entire shift schedule as second in command certainly helps on occasion.
He stalks towards the pair as they sit side by side at the security screen, monitoring the cameras in the brig.
Starscream can see a cell is occupied, but for the moment he doesn't care what unfortunate autobot is down there this time. His own problems are always more important.
“You two.”
Neither appear surprised at his appearance. Skywarp spins his chair around playfully to face his trine leader and Thundercracker tips his helm to acknowledge Starscream’s presence, not once removing his optics from the occupied cell.
“We in trouble, Star?” Skywarp grins, clearly apathetic to what the answer may actually be.
Starscream grits his denta and shifts his optics around the room, noting the presence of the cone heads, stupidly obvious in their attempts to listen in on Starscream's conversation, “I am your superior, Skywarp. You will not address me so casually.”
“You don't seem to hate the nickname so much when it's just us.” Skywarp murmurs and rolls his optics.
“What?!”
“I said, you should hear what we call you behind your back!”
Thundercracker, sensing Starscream’s clear lack of patience for the usual teasing, interrupts the two of them, “something you needed commander?”
Before answering, Starscream turns to the cone heads and points to the door, “You three. Out.”
Dirge moves first, servos up in a surrender position “don't have to tell me twice commander.”
The other two follow, but Starscream catches the end of a whisper as Thrust leans in towards Skywarp upon exit “- have to listen to another Screamer tantrum.”
Skywarp glares and moves to grab Thrust at the same time Starscream takes a deep intake in preparation to “Show you tantrum, you little-” but both explosive trinemates are tugged backwards just in time by Thundercracker.
He spins them around to face him, a servo on each of their wings, holding them there.
“Ignore them.”
Skywarp looks at him in shock “But, TC they said-”
“Ignore.”
Starscream shrugs Thundercracker’s servo off him “Disrespectful air force! I swear I'll-”
“Give them more flight drills. That will be enough punishment.”
The two are quiet for a minute, then under his breath Skywarp adds, “not gonna let them talk about Screamer like that, TC.”
“That is not my name!” Starscream reaches for Skywarp’s neck completely ignoring Skywarp's defense of him and Thundercracker pulls them apart.
“Enough!” The outburst is accompanied with a low rumble from his engine and the threat of a sonic boom that would never come stops their fight.
They apprehensively glace between Thundercracker's faceplate and the place just above his cockpit where his engine resided.
Thundercracker sighs, “I’m not a bomb, stop looking at me like that. Now, what did you want to ask us Starscream? Why did you need the room clear?”
Starscream glares but explains to his trinemates the recently reoccurring experience of trying to work, only to find himself unable, thinking maybe they would know how to fix it.
“Something is wrong with my processor.”
Thundercracker’s optics crease in thought, trying to dig up memories that they could use to identify a trigger or a change in his trine leader’s behavior. Something that could explain what could be causing him to be so distracted and disinterested, and oddly, Starscream was hoping either member of his trine would share a similar experience.
Though, he could never be sure why he would seek that from his trine mates. He has no need for their understanding, no need for their compassion. The desire itself is only further evidence that something is wrong with him.
Skywarp seems to understand at the very least, which didn't make Starscream feel much better because Skywarp is an idiot. Of course he knows what it feels like to have a hard time focusing.
Thundercracker tells him not to make such excuses around Megatron.
That made Starscream feel stupid because somehow Thundercracker obviously can't imagine that Starscream was being serious.
Starscream is not stupid.
However, they would not be his trine if they were completely useless.
“A virus?” Skywarp tries.
Thundercracker presses a servo to Starscream’s helm and Starscream batts it away.
Thundercracker ignores him and tries his cheek, finding nothing off about Starscream’s temperature.
“Not likely. When did this start?”
“Right after-.”
Starscream wants to say it started immediately after Skyfire had been found. After his betrayal, actually, and it's irrational to be embarrassed about that because the two events are clearly unconnected. He isn’t sure why he hesitated. It's just weird timing, nothing more.
“After what, Star?” Skywarp lowers his voice, gentle, and…Starscream doesn't hate it when he says it like that. He doesn't correct him.
“Skyfire.” He looks down and spits out the name.
Skywarp winces and shares a look with Thundercracker who, while more careful with his expression, is unable to completely hide the sympathy on his faceplate.
Starscream turns away so he doesn't have to look at them, how dare they feel for him.
He thinks back on his previous comparison. The academy. He had the same problem then, and he made do, but it had been easier for some reason. He makes do now, he got used to it, but it's been harder to focus recently.
Since…since Skyfire had defected.
Skyfire.
The only thing in common with then and now is Skyfire.
Which is strange and entirely unfair and makes no sense because Starscream distinctly remembers Skyfire's encouragement, Skyfire's…presence being the only thing that could get him through the deadlines, not make it hard all over again.
How pathetic he used to be, to need Skyfire to help him focus.
How pathetic he is now to have allowed Skyfire's reappearance to affect him.
It's all Skyfire’s fault.
Even if Starscream can’t explain exactly how.
What had Starscream ever done to deserve this? Certainly not his war crimes, those don't count.
The seeker flicks his wings. Irritated with himself for his defective work ethic. No. Not himself, who's fault is this really? Skyfire, obviously.
Oh, the ways the decepticon would make the stupid shuttle regret ever coming online. Only, Starscream has to admit that that's not very fair. Skyfire is, at the very least, a brilliant mech. Far from stupid, but Starscream hates him even more because of how hard it is to find a flaw to latch onto.
He tries to come up with a realistic way he could choke out a mech 10 times his size, but no satisfying fantasies come forward, instead, Starscream is given a memory.
Faded pictures and sensations come to him. He remembers the stinging feeling in his servo after punching the keypad to the door of their shared lab space, remembers throwing his datapad to the ground, remembers the way Skyfire had turned around carefully, so mindful of his size in a space designed with so much hostility. A space barely accessible and spitefully too small for a perfect flight frame like his and...and.
And Starscream doesn't want to remember.
He shuts down that memory file before the next image can invade his processor, he knows what happens next. Knows the way Skyfire looked at him. Knows the way it made him feel. Knows he'll feel it all over again.
He looks at his trinemates and catches his reflection on Skywarp's wing, while the two are still looking at each other. He's much older now than he was in that memory. Still pretty though, he thinks. Maybe even more.
He admires his face in the reflection and wonders if Skyfire thought he was still pretty when he first woke from the ice.
He secretly hopes so, the shuttle was the first mech that being called pretty meant something from, after all.
Starscream used to get fed up and look at himself in the mirror for breems, at his glossy wings with lubricant fluid in his optics and tell Skyfire he was too pretty to do their coursework. So pretty in fact that he doesn't need to be smart to survive. Pretty should be enough. They should quit the academy together. Give up on their dreams of becoming scientists, of exploration. Go back to a place where wings and thrusters are pretty. He used to say that when the comments about not belonging there really got to him.
Skyfire used to tell him he was pretty and smart. Used to tell him that combination made him a dangerous mech.
Starscream liked the way that sounded, liked the way it made the endless essays and readings feel like he was building a weapon of his mind.
Starscream also liked how they would work together, they never even needed to speak. Just being in the same room with similar assignments in their servos made it so much easier.
And Skyfire had wings to sit under. One of the many things that only they shared at that lonely academy.
But Skyfire isn't here and Starscream can't very well ask Soundwave to sit in silence with him and do reports together, can he?
No, but maybe Starscream is onto something. Maybe that's why Soundwave seems to get his work done so easily, with a chest cavity always being occupied with at least one individual, he never had to fill out reports alone.
He thinks about the small stack of datapads that had built up on his desk since Skyfire’s betrayal, each pad containing tens maybe hundreds of reports and his spark fills with dread. Those had been building up for ages. Megatron is bound to notice soon, and if Soundwave outperforms him…
Starscream can fix this.
His trine will help. Maybe. He looks at the two of them.
Megatron would never approve the shift change needed to allow him to work alongside them.
He could pass the load off to some lowly air force grunt he commands, but he can't be sure that they'll have any idea how to uphold his perfect standard.
Besides, those idiots definitely can't forge a signature.
Well then, if Starscream will have to actually check the reports himself, he needs to fix the focusing problem.
Which is why he's here, talking to his trine in the first place.
Skywarp's voice finally invades his thoughts, “If it all started after Skyfire left, maybe Skyfire did something. Put a chip in Screamer’s helm.”
“Be realistic, Warp. When would Skyfire have possibly had the chance to do that?”
“He's been…around. On the battlefield? I've seen him.” Skywarp seems less convinced with his answer once spoken aloud.
Thundercracker quirks an optic ridge skeptically, “so, Skyfire puts a chip in Starscream’s helm. Now what?”
“Mind control?”
“Yes. To make him slightly less capable of focusing on stuff he hated doing anyway. All the Autobots ever want is to slightly inconvenience Starscream.”
“Well, if you say it like that it sounds dumb.”
“It's very dumb.”
Starscream’s thoughts once again wander against his will, as they tend to do nowadays, to Skyfire and Starscream wants to break some of his lab equipment.
He imagines it would feel good to throw one of the datapads at the shuttle’s helm.
Would probably feel better doing it in person than just imagining it.
…In person.
Starscream flickers the lights in his optics once as an idea floods his processor at the same time.
Maybe he can punish Skyfire and make use of him at the same time.
He resets his vocalizer to gain the attention of the other two seekers. They are here to help him fix this after all, no good allowing them to go off topic.
“I know how to fix my processor.”
“You know where the chip is?” Skywarp asks, optics wide until Thundercracker smacks the back of his helm.
“There is no chip, Warp.”
Starscream can't help but laugh as he begins planning out the familiar game of ‘what's the biggest thing I can steal from the Autobots?’
He looks at the monitor, at the captured autobot displayed there. He thinks Thundercracker should pay the poor spark a visit, there's some information Starscream will need to pull this off.
“I have a plan. Skywarp, what's the biggest thing you've ever teleported?”
Skywarp grins maniacally, having an idea where this is heading.
Though botnapping a massive shuttle may be ambitious, Skyfire was right to say Starscream was a dangerous mech.