Chapter Text
When Charlie sees Nick Nelson at the gym, he kind of wants to die.
There’s a lot more of Nick on display than there was when they first met earlier in the week. Instead of the hoodie and jeans he remembers, there’s now a tight t-shirt that stretches across his chest and a pair of athletic shorts that send Charlie’s mind into an instant panic.
It looks like Nick is on his way out, which is quite frankly a relief. Charlie isn’t entirely sure he’d be able to go through with jumping on a treadmill knowing Nick was nearby, looking like that . He probably benches twice Charlie’s body weight, for God’s sake.
Great, now that’s a thought he can't get out of his head.
Does Nick even remember him? Probably not. It had been such a quick introduction. They’d only met once, through Charlie’s flatmate, Sai, who had played rugby with Nick at school. Even though Sai wasn’t on the team at Leeds, Nick had introduced him to his mates and welcomed him into their friend group. He had come by earlier in the week to return the jacket Sai had left at a party. One thing Charlie had underestimated about uni was how often he would randomly encounter guys who were not only hot, but also worlds nicer than people he knew back home. He could barely keep up and, as a result, tried not to expel too much energy on every guy who flashed him a kind smile. But seeing as this was his flatmate’s friend, he’d allowed himself the brain space to make note of him.
During that short first meeting, Charlie obviously appreciated that the guy was gorgeous, with his infectious smile, perfectly sculpted shoulders, and blond hair that was just messy enough to look cool, but not too messy that he looked unpolished. And he’s certainly kind — he managed to effortlessly include Charlie in his conversation with Sai in a way that was remarkably charming. He’d only stayed for about 20 minutes, though, and Charlie hadn’t counted on seeing him again so soon.
But now that he has, he wishes he was a little more prepared.
Charlie knows he should just avoid eye contact and let him leave, saving them both the awkward interaction, but when he looks up again to take a step forward, he’s surprised to find Nick approaching, a look of recognition on his face. He’s got oversized headphones around his neck, where there also happens to be an unmistakable sheen of sweat clinging, the latter of which Charlie is definitely not thinking about.
When he’s finally in earshot, Nick greets him effortlessly. “Hey! Charlie, right?” He hates the way that it makes his stomach do a weird swoopy thing. “I’ve never seen you in here before.”
“Hey,” Charlie replies, a little unsure but a mantra of, “ be normal, be so fucking normal, ” running on repeat through his mind. “Yeah, I prefer to run outside, but…” He trails off and gestures outside where it’s absolutely chucking it down. “The elements don’t seem to care much that I’m desperate to run out all of my anxiety from the week.”
He doesn’t exactly mean to reveal such a particularly personal fact, that he uses running as a coping mechanism for his mental health problems. So far, that had only been shared with his therapist and his best friend, Elle, who just started her second year at Leeds.
Nick surprises him by sharing a similar feat, though. He gestures to his headphones and says, “That’s why I have these, too. We do loads of conditioning for rugby throughout the week, but sometimes I’ll come by for my own thing, put on some music and clear my head a bit.”
“You’re saying you go to the gym more than is required?” Charlie asks. He has to make a concerted effort not to look at Nick’s arms, his mind already filling in the blanks for the type of body that would result from working out that much.
After quickly collecting himself, Charlie catches Nick’s responding look of his own reproach. “Well, I would never voluntarily go for a run, so I guess that makes us even, as far as unfavourable workouts go.”
“Okay, fair enough,” Charlie reasons, earning him a chuckle in response. Just like that, any potentially awkward tension he’d been fearing is easily forgotten in favour of their banter. Of course, as soon as they get to the point where Charlie feels that comfort, he realises it’s not exactly the best venue for prolonged conversation.
Nick must come to the same conclusion, because he eventually says, “Well, I’ll let you get to it. But it was great seeing you again.”
While Charlie would usually consider a comment like that a brush off, on his way out, Nick passes him with a casual hand on Charlie’s arm and gives it a light squeeze. It’s paired with that unbearably sweet smile, where his eyes crinkle and nose scrunches, and it’s clear Nick has absolutely no idea the effect it has on Charlie.
Before he can put too much thought into it, he picks out a playlist for his run and puts his phone on Do Not Disturb as he approaches the treadmill.
When he finally leaves the gym and checks his phone, he has an Instagram follow request from Nick Nelson.
~*~
All things considered, Charlie is having a pretty good time adjusting to life at Leeds. He’d been desperate to move somewhere brand new, far enough away from his parents to truly feel the independence he’d craved during school. He hadn’t chosen to attend uni in Leeds because of Elle, but it was certainly a bonus. He’d visited her once just before his last year at Truham started and he’d fallen in love with the city. Part of him always saw himself somewhere like UCL, where his other best friend Isaac ended up, but just the first few months at Leeds had already proven that he made the right choice.
He wasn’t sure what to think about his flatmate, Tao, when they first met, with his seemingly permanent furrowed brow and his short, clipped responses to innocent questions. But once he spotted the Moonlight and Best Coast posters in Charlie’s room, it unlocked a brand new side of him. He began excitedly talking Charlie’s ear off about his favourite bands and soundtracks and which Oscar-nominated films Charlie had seen. Charlie hadn’t seen many, but he was willing to check them out for the sake of some flatmate bonding. It took some extra effort, but once he managed to uncover more of Tao’s intricacies, it was a lot easier to notice the thoughtful and friendly side of him — or at least, Tao’s version of friendly. While Charlie’s other friends had a tendency to tread lightly with him — which he didn’t completely fault them for, given they’ve known him through his lowest lows — Tao didn’t have those same reservations, which Charlie appreciated, allowing them to fall into a natural friendship.
His other flatmate, Sai, had been thrilled when Charlie noticed his Switch and asked what video games he played. They didn't get on as quickly as him and Tao, but it was a relief to at least feel safe around both of the guys he lived with. Whether it was the way neither of them batted an eye at his particularity about groceries and meals or the casual mention of a cute guy in his lecture, Charlie was able to settle into his space with the confidence that he was far more supported here than his years at Truham.
Because Elle had already been settled at uni for a year, with new friends of her own in her course and cultivating a natural extension of her ever-present independence, Charlie made sure not to rely solely on her for socialising. Unlocking his connection with his flatmates gave him the extra boost of confidence he needed to meet new people outside of just his flat. There was a girl called Jamie in his Classics course who lived in the same accommodation, and he had of course made plans to check out the LGBTQ+ society.
He’d also been going out to parties and the occasional club. Freshers week was full of events for first years like himself to get acquainted with other students and the city of Leeds. At first, it was definitely outside of his comfort zone. Charlie never went to parties when he was at Truham — he wasn’t friends with enough popular people to even be invited — but he was quick to reason that that’s exactly what he’d been hoping for when moving so far away from home. He still enjoyed a quiet night in, but something about putting on a fun outfit and dancing with casual friends, perhaps drinking a little too much and stopping for a kebab on the way back to his flat, made him feel like he was truly living the uni experience.
He was proud of himself for taking the leap, with plenty of encouragement from Tori and Elle and his therapist. He’d even kissed a few boys, which he had admittedly not expected to happen so quickly, but it was fun , letting someone buy him a drink and having an innocent makeout session in a tucked away corner. Of course, he wanted something more at some point, but he was okay with indulging in some low stakes rendezvous in the meantime.
Sure, it had only happened twice, but if Year 9 Charlie could see him now, there’s no doubt he would be impressed.
Tonight, he’s at a party with Elle and Tao. Elle had been at their flat enough times that she considered Tao a friend, too, so when the three of them had been hanging out and her friend Naomi called to invite her to a party, Elle insisted Charlie and Tao join. Tao wasn’t really a big fan of parties — he much preferred a night in watching films — but he finally agreed after a healthy round of encouragement from Elle.
Charlie is in high spirits being at this particular party, knowing it’s thrown by people Elle trusts, meaning the other guests are likely people he’ll also feel comfortable around. It’s exactly the vibe he had hoped for when heading off for uni; there was always the opportunity to let loose if he wanted or needed to, but the pressure for the evening to be anything more than that was blessedly absent. It’s far more enjoyable than any cliched ragers that he could be frequenting if he kept different company.
The three of them are chatting about Elle’s talent for mixing the perfect drink — the cocktail she managed to put together for Charlie with whatever mixers were laying around was extraordinarily impressive — when he is surprised to see Nick , of all people. Sai is visiting home for the weekend, so he’s instantly curious what other crossover there is between people he and Nick both know, at least enough to be at the same party. But he’s also completely delighted when Nick’s face transforms into an easy smile when he catches his eye.
Nick calls out, “Charlie!” and walks over effortlessly, which causes Charlie to express a smile of his own.
“Nick, hey.” He discretely wipes the hand that’s not holding his cup on his jeans – a nervous tic, he knows, but it proves futile when Nick comes right in for a friendly hug, one arm around Charlie’s shoulders, the other around his back. It takes an extra second for him to react, catching up quickly enough to return it with a quick squeeze.
He guesses Nick sensed his moment of hesitancy, because he pulls back and says, “Sorry! I should have asked if you were a hugger first.”
“It’s definitely fine.” The two grin at each other and Charlie allows himself to indulge in their closeness. Nick’s hair looks as naturally swept as usual, his eyes a stunning golden brown that shine in the glow of the room’s decorative twinkling lights strung about, and his cheeks tinted a soft pink, from perhaps the beer in his hand, or the warmth that blankets the room of close bodies. Charlie attempts to keep his face in check when he sees that Nick is sporting three rings on the hand wrapped around his beer bottle, on his first, middle, and pinkie fingers. They’re all silver, and the second two are plain bands with slightly different widths, but the one on his pointer has some sort of textured design. He refocuses his attention to the drink in his own hand, not wanting to be caught staring, but files that away for later.
He hasn’t seen Nick in person for a little while, but since they’ve started following each other on Instagram, he’ll occasionally see his face through Nick’s reposts of the Leeds rugby account, or one time, a shameless mirror selfie at the gym.
Charlie had clicked on that story a few times throughout the day when it was posted.
Elle introduces herself with a kind wave, and when Charlie introduces Tao, he simply looks at Nick with a resolute expression and says, “I am not a hugger.”
There’s a slight moment of panic from Charlie because while he has gotten used to Tao’s brusk tendencies, it can come off as rude to others. Thankfully, Nick takes it all in stride, so Charlie decides to hold back the daggers he was preparing to throw his flatmate’s way.
“Totally fine,” Nick replies with his hands raised in defence. “Always good to know.”
If he’s honest, Charlie assumed this would be another quick hello from Nick like the one they’d exchanged at the gym, but Nick doesn’t seem eager to leave. Instead, he asks them, “Do you all live together?”
“Tao and I do,” Charlie shares, “but Elle and I are mates from school.”
Ever the observer, Elle lifts an eyebrow at Charlie and gestures to him and Nick. “How do you two know each other?”
Truthfully, he’s not sure how to answer that. He and Nick still don’t really know each other. He figures the best way to describe it is that Nick is friends with his flatmate, but before he can say anything, Nick offers, “Charlie and I have run into each other a few times. Plus I know their flatmate, Sai.”
There’s something about the way he specifies it that thrills Charlie, just a bit. Rather than implying that they simply knew each other through a mutual friend, Nick’s explanation implies that’s secondary in his mind.
Or maybe that’s Charlie’s hopeful brain reading too much into things.
“Nick and Sai played rugby together in school,” Charlie adds.
Nick nods and says, “Yeah, I was just telling Sai about our next match. You should all come, too!”
Tao doesn’t waste a moment of hesitation before replying, “I hate sports.”
Elle, also without a hint of hesitation, nudges Tao in the ribs and rolls her eyes. “You’ll have to excuse him. Apparently, he forgot how to say things in a socially acceptable way.”
While Tao lets out an indignant scoff, Nick continues to be completely lovely and huffs out a laugh. “Actually, I appreciated that. It takes the guessing out of things.” He turns to Charlie, then, and asks cheekily, “Do you also hate sports?”
Charlie opens his mouth to answer, but Elle beats him to it. “ Actually , Charlie was on the rugby team in school, too.”
Oh, he is going to kill her.
“Really?” Nick sends him an interested smirk. “I didn’t know that. I feel like you or Sai would have mentioned it by now.”
“Sai definitely doesn’t know,” Charlie explains, then turns back to Elle, who has started laughing. “Stop!” He hits her playfully, but joins in her laughter. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Well now I definitely need to know about it,” Nick insists.
Maybe it’s because of the way Nick is looking at him, his eyes all innocent and welcoming. Or maybe it’s the spirit of being somewhere new where he doesn’t have to be defined by the person he was in school. Either way, he decides to explain everything.
How the rugby team needed a reserve and his PE teacher recommended him for the team because he could run fast. How he would have said no right away if it wasn’t for the Year 11 on the team he’d been crushing on, who offered to help him learn how to play. How the Year 11 also stood up for him against the homophobic pricks on the team, which only made Charlie’s crush grow stronger.
Tao hasn’t heard the story, either, which also makes it a new flatmate bonding experience for them both. “Okay, I won’t lie, that’s kind of cute,” Tao admits with a twitch of a smile.
Nick pokes Charlie’s arm and says, “Well? Did you fall in love?”
Finally starting to feel more comfortable, Charlie allows his full sarcastic self to make an appearance. He laughs and adds, “Oh, you mean the guy who was completely straight and had a long-term girlfriend that was away at uni, and who barely talked to me after I quit two weeks later? Yeah, we lived happily ever after.”
“That would have been an adorable story,” Elle adds.
And then Nick says, “Honestly, I kind of wish that had happened to me in school. If some boy joined the rugby team to hang out with me more because he had a crush on me, and we were forced to spend more time together, I may have realised I’m not straight a lot sooner than I did.”
And Charlie positively flushes with a brand new sense of enthusiasm.
The more time Charlie spends with queer people, the more he learns how harmful it is to make assumptions about anyone’s identity. He’s making a continued effort to acknowledge his shortcomings — how he sometimes falls prey to the pitfalls of stereotypes, even within the community — and instead take a step outside the neat boxes he’d become accustomed to while he was in school.
So far at uni, it’s been incredibly rewarding. He’s meeting a far more diverse population of people, which was something that had drawn him to Leeds in the first place. Elle had raved about it during her first year, being able to not only find her people , but also expand her horizons beyond what was familiar to her and explore new things. Of course, she had a different experience from Charlie, but the basics remained the same.
He’ll admit that Nick’s sexuality hadn’t crossed his mind that much, but he supposed that was exactly the point. Rather than assuming he was straight because he went to the gym and played rugby and, according to Sai, frequented questionable pubs, he simply considered Nick the person . The uni student. The admittedly attractive guy who knew his flatmate. Before tonight, Charlie hadn’t really considered a context that would benefit from knowing whether or not Nick was interested in guys. But now…
They eventually move on from the topic, but it’s not long before he and Elle share a meaningful glance. He’s never been more grateful for their years of friendship, because just with his eyes, he’s able to silently deliver a message that says, “ I would very much like to continue talking to this very fit, not straight rugby player, come find me later, love you so much.”
And because she’s an absolute angel , she makes it happen.
“I’m gonna get another drink,” Elle says. “Tao, come with me.”
“Nah, I’m good,” he says, completely oblivious. “I don’t want anything.”
She grabs Tao’s arm and says, “Didn’t ask. C’mon.” He looks confused, but ultimately goes along. Elle looks back over her shoulder at Nick and says, “Nice meeting you!” as they walk away.
In all honesty, Charlie is surprised at how effortlessly his and Nick’s conversation flows from there. They’ve messaged a few times on Instagram, mostly reacting to each other’s stories, but they’ve never talked for this long. And yet it still feels completely natural, which is a massive relief, since the forced, awkward interactions with new people seem to be such a common uni experience. With Nick, that pressure is totally absent. They talk a little bit more about rugby, then eventually move on to stories about Nick’s first year at Leeds and his sports science course. When Charlie shares he’s studying Classics, Nick isn’t at all deterred by the fact that they’re studying vastly different topics. Rather, he asks questions and listens so intently that Charlie has to break eye contact just to avoid getting distracted so he can form a proper sentence.
Neither of them are looking for an excuse to leave. Quite the opposite, actually. When Nick finishes the beer he’d been drinking, he motions for Charlie to join him in the kitchen so they can keep talking while he gets another.
They end up in the corner of the kitchen, chatting and laughing and already joking with each other. Nick’s arm rests easily on the kitchen counter behind Charlie, and it seems unintentional at first, completely innocent. Charlie wonders if he even notices he’s doing it, until Nick casually touches his back, between his shoulder blades, and gives him an affectionate scratch in response to something he said.
Charlie invites the easy touch. It’s delivered in a way that doesn’t feel invasive, but rather gentle and careful. And the more often it happens, paired with a shared laugh or affectionately teasing comment, the more Charlie is sure it’s not passive.
He thinks they’re flirting. He hopes they’re flirting.
At one point, Charlie recognises the song that’s playing and tells Nick how much he loves it. He’s surprised when Nick replies, “Oh, I meant to tell you. I listened to that song you posted on Insta.”
Now, here’s the thing. Charlie knows that basically never happens. He knows that no one sees an Instagram story with a link to Spotify and actually thinks, let me stop what I’m doing at this moment to listen to this song. He knows it’s just an excuse to post about what he’s personally enjoying.
But Nick listened to it. And wanted to tell Charlie about it.
“You did? Really?”
“Yeah! Hang on.” Nick reaches for his phone and pulls up Spotify, tapping until he finds it. “This one, yeah?”
He looks at Nick’s phone and sees that he saved it . Charlie tries not to visibly swoon.
“What did you think?” he asks, trying to act normal, but also genuinely interested in Nick’s answer.
“I liked it a lot! It was totally different than anything I’ve heard before. Are they popular? I never know anything about music.”
Charlie nods. “They’ve got a bit of a following.” When Nick gives him another one of those looks that shows he’s really listening, with attentive eyes and a slight tilt to his head, he continues. “My friend Isaac actually saw them in London last week, which is why I posted the song. He sent me a video from their gig and it just reminded me how much I love that album. The drummer is also an author we both really like, and the band hasn’t put out anything new in a while, but he’s on tour for his new book, so—” Charlie stops himself, knowing he’s offering far too many details that Nick definitely didn’t ask for. He smiles apologetically. “Sorry. I love music, but don’t need to nerd out about it to you.”
“No need to say sorry about that,” Nick insists. He nudges Charlie’s shoulder with his own. “And nothing wrong with being a nerd.”
Before he can get caught up in the overwhelming warmth of such a slight touch, Charlie gives him a needling look. “Okay, but you could at least say, ‘No, Charlie, you’re not a nerd.’”
Nick sighs and shakes his head. “No can do.” He puts his hands in his pockets — much to Charlie’s disappointment — and shrugs. “My mum taught me it’s not polite to lie, Charlie.”
His jaw drops open and he takes the opportunity to give Nick his own nudge, a touch that’s subtle enough but still satisfies Charlie’s desire to be closer to him. Nick’s bright smile in response is just a bonus.
He’s not sure how much longer they end up talking — about music, about uni, about Nick’s dogs that he’s got back home — but time has certainly gotten away from them when Tao and Elle return, their drinks long gone but still with plenty of the same fumbling energy.
“Alright?” Charlie asks with a confused chuckle.
“Yeah,” Elle breathes, then gestures to Tao. “Turns out this one can dance, did you know that?”
With a raise of his eyebrows, Charlie’s reaction is nothing short of impressed. “I definitely didn’t. Well done.”
Tao smiles and does an exaggerated bow. It’s a side of Tao that is rarely revealed in public, and if Charlie’s not mistaken, it isn’t even alcohol that encourages its presence, but rather the right company. He’s delighted to know Elle has been inducted into that sacred category of friendship.
Elle looks between Nick and Charlie, then says, “Tao and I are gonna head out.” She meets Charlie’s eyes more intentionally, no doubt looking for any signs of opposition. “But you can stay, Charlie, if you’d like?”
After a quick look at the time, Charlie decides that it’s probably best for him to turn in, lest he risk somehow ruining what has been a lovely night hanging out with Nick. The time they spent together reassures Charlie that it’s likely they’ll be in each other’s company again soon.
When he says he’s going to head back with Tao and Elle, he’s basically proven right when he catches Nick’s expression falling for a quick moment, as if disappointed. He’s offering a kind smile again almost as quickly, but it’s enough to set off a spark of something warm in Charlie’s chest, like a tricky match that finally catches.
Nick follows up with a gentle hand on Charlie’s back and says, “I’m glad I saw you tonight.”
Charlie nods in agreement. “Me too.”
There’s a moment of stillness, and then Nick leans in for a hug, both of his arms wrapped around Charlie’s middle. He hugs Nick back around his shoulders and welcomes the moment of comfort that blankets him, Nick’s solid body pressed against him and the subtle, clean scent of his jumper taking over his senses.
It lasts longer than strictly necessary — just a few seconds, but Charlie can tell it’s intentional. He doesn’t want to let go, either. He finds himself already addicted to the feeling of being held in Nick’s arms. When they both finally pull away, they still don’t completely separate. Nick’s hands remain settled on his waist, while Charlie’s are on Nick’s shoulders. He feels himself grinning like an idiot, but the truth is he really doesn’t care, because Nick’s expression is mirroring just the same.
Nick hesitates, then gently says, “So, you never actually said… think I can convince you to come to a rugby match?”
Charlie suppresses a giggle and finds himself effortlessly nodding. “Yeah, sure. I could ask Sai for the details? Or…”
“I’ll text you,” Nick offers, giving Charlie’s waist one final squeeze. “Okay?”
“Perfect.”
It takes a little prodding from Elle to get Nick’s attention away from Charlie. “Bye, Nick,” she says pointedly. “It was nice meeting you.”
Nick finally looks up and shifts his gaze towards Elle. He clears his throat and shuffles over to give her a one-armed hug. “Right! It was nice meeting you, too.” He sends a wave in Tao’s direction — no doubt remembering he does not like hugs — and says, “Get home safe, yeah?”
With one last glance back at Nick’s face, taking in his lopsided smile and expressive eyes, Charlie leaves with one final wave, which Nick returns in kind.
When the three of them make their way outside, they begin to follow the glow of scattered streetlights that guide their path toward Elle’s building to drop her off. The din of random voices from down the road combined with the bass of music from a passing car envelopes them, and Charlie finally feels his breath settle. “I’m sorry I basically bailed on both of you tonight,” he says, looking over at Elle and Tao apologetically.
Elle merely smiles in response, linking their arms together as her eyes sparkle with something intriguing. “We still had a good time, yeah?” she says to Tao, reaching over to link her other arm with his as well.
“Yeah, don’t apologise,” Tao assures. He catches him and Elle sharing a conspiring look that is all too familiar, as it’s one he’s shared with his sister plenty of times over the years at the expense of their brother, Oliver. Before Charlie can chime in, Tao continues, “Seems like your rugby lad kept you… well-entertained .”
Charlie wastes no time reaching across Elle to nudge Tao in the arm. “Shut up!” he threatens, but it’s around a peal of laughter, which is shared by all three of them.
The reality is, he can’t exactly deny anything Tao might be insinuating. Because as much as he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, he remembers Nick’s easy smile, his unbridled attention and affectionate nature, feels the blush on his cheeks, and lets himself dream.