Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke stepped off the Greyhound bus, her backpack clutched tightly in her right hand and a rumpled newspaper clipping clutched in her left. As the bus pulled away, kicking up a trail of dust behind it, she shielded her eyes from the bright Montana sun, glancing down at the clipping she’d memorized.
“Help Wanted: Ranch Accountant. Must have knowledge of Quickbooks software. No previous experience required. Room & board included.”
Clarke glanced around at the empty bus stop. A man named Kane was supposed to pick her up and take her to Skyheart Ranch, but there was no one in sight. A prickle of fear ran up her back before she shook her head. She sat down on the bench next to the bus stop, the awning overhead protecting her from the fierce afternoon sun.
‘Stop freaking out, he’s just late. No one knows I’m here. I took every precaution,’ Clarke thought. She nervously started tapping her foot on the ground, glancing around every few seconds. ‘He’s coming. I spoke to Mr. Blake just two days ago. The job’s mine. Kane will be here.’
More thoughts started to crowd Clarke’s mind, however; dark thoughts, terrifying thoughts. She started breathing harder and a cold sweat broke out on her forehead and back. Just as she was on the verge of a complete panic attack, a rusty pickup came into view, driving toward the bus stop. Clarke couldn’t see the driver through the glare of the sun on the windshield, but just the sight of the truck comforted her.
‘This must be Kane. Cage wouldn’t be caught dead driving something like that.’
The pickup parked in one of the three parking spaces next to the bus stop, the brakes squealing loudly. The driver’s side door opened and a pair of dirty cowboy boots hit the ground. The owner of the boots was a man in his late fifties, which surprised Clarke.
‘When Mr. Blake said his foreman was coming to pick me up, I expected someone much younger. This guy’s old enough to be my dad. Hell, maybe even my grandfather!’ Clarke thought.
The older man looked over at her from beneath the brim of his ten gallon hat and grinned, his brown eyes crinkling and deep laugh lines forming around his mouth. Clarke immediately felt more at ease and hesitantly returned his smile with a small one of her own.
“You must be Miss Jones! I’m Marcus Kane, foreman at Skyheart,” he said, still grinning at her. He stuck his hand out and Clarke slowly took it. His grasp was surprisingly gentle, and he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze as if to say there was nothing to worry about.
“Um, yes, sir, I’m Clarke Jones. It’s nice to meet you.” Clarke’s voice was quiet and she could barely maintain eye contact with Kane.
‘Thank god I didn’t stumble over my name,” thought Clarke. ‘Jones might be a common choice, but the less conspicuous my name is, the less chance Cage will find me.’
“This all you got?” Kane gestured to the backpack still clutched tightly in Clarke’s hand.
“Yes, sir. I don’t really need much.” Kane laughed, still grinning at her.
“Well, you’re the lowest maintenance lady I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting! And call me Marcus, hon, no need for any ‘sir’.”
“Yes, sir,” Clarke replied without thinking. “Oh, no, I mean, yes, Mr. Kane, no, I, I mean, just, just Kane!”
Clarke felt her face turning red, and she stared down at her old tennis shoes, unable to meet Kane’s eye. He just laughed again, a full-bellied sound that made Clarke smile on the inside.
‘No one who laughs like that would hurt me,’ Clarke thought. ‘Right?’
“No need to be so nervous, hon! I’m not gonna bite you,” Kane said. He laughed again and this time a small smile formed on Clarke’s lips, even though she still couldn’t look at him.
“Well, c’mon, hon, get on in and I’ll take you home to Skyheart,” Kane said, gesturing to the pickup.
‘Home. When’s the last time any place has felt like home?’ Clarke ruthlessly pushed down memories of her parents and older brother and followed Kane over to the pickup.
“You need a boost to get in? Most of the men are as tall as the corn on the 4th of July! But don’t worry, you’re much much prettier,” Kane said, winking at Clarke. This time, she was able to meet his eyes when she smiled.
Clarke had always been considered beautiful, with her sky-blue eyes and light, blonde hair that curled down her back when she didn’t pull it up in a messy bun. She wasn’t very tall and much too thin for her height, although that was a more recent development. She still had lovely curves, but even they were smaller than they had been just a few years ago.
‘Hard to keep on any weight when I spent my days and nights terrified. Who could possibly eat in a situation like that?’ Clarke shook her head, trying to banish the ever-present dark thoughts from intruding on this day. ‘This is a new start for me, a new beginning. Cage won’t ruin this. I won’t let him.’
Clarke finally settled herself in the truck and turned in her seat, giving Kane a small smile.
“Home to Skyheart Ranch, Mr. Kane.”
He laughed again and pulled out of the parking lot, the brakes squealing and a dust trail following in their wake.
‘A new beginning. I can do this,’ she thought, staring out of the windshield, ready for her new life to start.
***
Notes:
Sooo…let me know what you think! Please, please, please 🙏 (I live off of validation, so help me out and comment so I don’t die after being ignored)
Also, please come visit me on Tumblr, where I have a delightful moodboard for the story! Username: alannacouture
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke and Kane sat in companionable silence, with Kane humming along to some country song playing quietly on the radio and Clarke staring out the window at the rolling hills and bright green fields.
“First time in Montana, Miss Clarke?” Kane asked, smiling at her before looking back at the road. Clarke hesitated, but decided it would be easier to tell the truth than some elaborate lie.
‘I’m already lying to these people about my name and my background. I can barely keep those lies straight! I should just avoid adding even more, in case I forget something,’ Clarke thought.
“Yes, sir, Mr. Kane,” Clarke answered. “I’ve actually never lived outside of a city.”
Kane chuckled.
“Gonna keep calling me sir, hon?”
Clarke’s hands flew to her mouth and her eyes got bigger as she realized she had disobeyed him.
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Kane! I promise, it won’t happen again. I’m so very sorry.”
Clarke had almost plastered herself to the passenger’s side door, trying to put as much space between herself and Kane as possible. She crouched in on herself, waiting for the inevitable blow. Instead of pain, though, Clarke just heard Kane laughing again.
“You don’t have to apologize, hon,” Kane said, still chuckling. “I was just teasing. Tell you what, you call me Marcus and I’ll call you Clarke, no more miss or mister. Sound good?” Marcus glanced over at her and saw how Clarke was cowering away from him. He frowned, concern showing on his face.
“Hey now, hon, no reason to be scared. I ain’t gonna hurt you,” Marcus said, worry in his voice. Clarke didn’t move and Marcus’s frown deepened. “Clarke, honey, it’s all right. Truly. Nothing to be scared of. You okay or should I pull over so you can get some air?”
Clarke slowly untangled herself and gave Marcus a weak smile.
“No, Mist-, uh, I mean, Marcus, there’s no need to stop. I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to worry you.” Clarke couldn’t look at Marcus, her cheeks red from shame. She grabbed her bag out of the footwell and held it tightly against herself.
‘Stop freaking out!’ she scolded herself. ‘Now he’s going to be suspicious. Just calm down and breathe.’
Marcus continued to frown at her out of the corner of his eye, but he wisely dropped the subject.
“So what made you leave your city life and come about as far away from civilization as possible?” Marcus asked.
“Just, um, just needed a change, that’s all. When I saw Mr. Blake’s ad, I thought working on a ranch would be a nice change of pace,” Clarke said out loud. Silently, she thought, ‘Plus, no one knows me here and the only people I’ll have to deal with are the ranch hands. I guess people in town, too, if I want to take a three hour round trip to pick something up.’
Marcus hummed to himself, as if he was thinking over her answer and deciding if it passed muster.
“Well, a ranch is certainly a change from big city living,” Marcus finally said, chuckling. “I think you’ll like it, though. It’s nice and quiet. All peaceful like. Well, unless the animals start acting up and they do have a tendency to do that!” Marcus laughed again and Clarke finally stopped tensing, sitting back in the seat and putting her backpack back in the footwell.
“I’m not sure I’ll have much to do with the animals. Mr. Blake wasn’t very specific about the job, other than he needed someone good with both numbers and computers,” Clarke said. Marcus chuckled again, shaking his head, though this laugh sounded almost melancholy.
“Yeah, poor Bellamy has had a hell of a time doing the books and inventory. His old man was in charge of all that, but...”. Marcus trailed off, his face showing a deep grief he was still processing.
“Oh, I was under the impression that Mr. Blake had been running the ranch for quite some time,” Clarke said.
“Oh, goodness, no! His folks, they...”, Marcus sighed, that sadness returning. “Well, I might as well tell you, since you’re gonna be living here and all. Bellamy’s folks were killed in a car wreck coming home from a cattle auction four years ago. Poor Bell was only 23 and suddenly he had the whole ranch to take care of, all by himself.”
Clarke’s mouth dropped open in shock.
“Wait, Mr. Blake is only 27?” Clarke asked, her voice high and nervous.
“Yes, ma’am,” Marcus replied. “Although you talk to the boy now, you’d think he was 47. He’s been carrying the entire ranch on his shoulders and it’s definitely taken its toll. I’ve helped him as much as I can, well, hell, we all have but Bell is as stubborn as his Daddy. Aurora, Bellamy’s momma, used to say that Blakes were born with rocks for skulls! Never listen to anyone, have to do everything themselves. Hell, the only person Eli, Bell’s daddy, would listen to was Aurora!”
Marcus started laughing again, completely missing the panic on Clarke’s face.
‘No, no, no, Mr. Blake was supposed to be some old rancher who wouldn’t even notice I’m around! What the hell am I supposed to do now?’ Clarke glanced over at Marcus, then asked, “So, Mr. Blake’s not married then?”
Marcus threw back his head and laughed so loud, Clarke was a little afraid he would hurt himself.
“Bell, married? Goodness, no! That boy’d have to leave the ranch to meet a nice lady and he hasn’t left the ranch in ages.”
“So who gets supplies from town?” Clarke asked. “I mean, you guys do go to town right?”
“Of course, hon,” Marcus said with a grin. “We might grow some food on the ranch, but not nearly enough for all the hands. No, Wells goes to town twice a week to pick up supplies and the hands go whenever we have shipments for the ranch come in. Plus, we have a rotating schedule so every weekend a quarter of the hands go to Billings.”
“Billings is almost four hours away!” Clarke cried, shocked. “They go all the way there just for two days?”
“Men get lonely, hon,” Marcus replied. “Especially the younger ones who haven’t worked on ranches very long.” Marcus paused and glanced over at Clarke, noticing how pale she’d gotten. “You know you’re safe on the ranch, hon, right? Bellamy runs a tight ship and he and I keep everyone in order. No one’ll bother you. Not unless... Well, unless you become interested.”
Clarke had started violently shaking her head back and forth before Marcus even finished.
“I’m not interested in anything or in starting any type of relationship,” Clarke said with a note of panic. “I just want to do my work.”
“Then that’s what you’ll do, hon. Don’t worry a thing about it,” Marcus said.
They sat in silence for a little while before Clarke asked Marcus something that had been bothering her.
“When...when I spoke to Mr. Blake, he just told me about the men that worked on the ranch. But you mentioned a Wells. It sounds like he’s not a ranch hand. Who is he?”
Marcus chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. “Wells is our cook. His real name is Herbert George, I think, but God help anyone who calls him that. He’s been with us for, oh, seven years now, I think. Best damn cook we’ve ever had and he’s got no plans on leaving us.”
“So...why Wells?” Katie asked.
Marcus laughed again. “I honestly don’t know where Wells came from. I think he’s named after an author, but I’m not really sure. But he loves the name Wells and won’t answer to anything else. He’s a bit...oh, flamboyant, I guess. As gay as the day is long. Wears the most ridiculous outfits, always with sparkles or feathers or other nonsense. He’s probably the nicest person on the ranch. Loves taking care of everyone, making sure we’re all happy and fed.” Marcus glanced at Clarke, eyeing her up and down. “Soon as he sees you, he’s gonna try and feed you everything in the house!”
Clarke smiled, already looking forward to meeting Wells. ‘He sounds safe. Definitely someone I could try and be friends with. ... If I remember how to make friends,” Clarke thought rather bitterly.
“You’ll probably see Wells more than the rest of us,” Marcus said. “He works in the big house all day, like you’ll be doing.”
“Oh, does he live there too?” Clarke asked. “Mr. Blake said my room was in the main house, but he didn’t mention who else lived there.”
“Nah, Wells has got his own little cottage. Eli had it built special for him and Wells just loves it. It’s right off the main house, next to my cabin. The rest of the hands stay in bunks. Only other person who lives in the big house is Bell.”
Clarke bit down on her lower lip, uncomfortable with the idea of living alone in a strange house with a strange man. Marcus saw the nervous look on her face and smiled gently at her.
“We already set up your room. It’s one of the nicest guest rooms and it has its own bathroom attached. Door locks too.”
Clarke sighed internally. ‘Well, he definitely added that last part just to make me feel better. I’m doing a rather terrible job of hiding my reactions.’
Before Clarke had a chance to reply, the truck drove over the crest of a hill and she gasped. Spread out in front of her was an enormous, beautiful house with a half dozen smaller buildings and four huge barns. There was a lake glittering behind the main house and a perfect view of snow-capped mountains in the distance. Marcus looked over at Clarke and smiled.
“Welcome to Skyheart Ranch, Clarke.”
***
Notes:
Thoughts? Comments? Kudos? Please?
Chapter Text
Bellamy
Bellamy Blake wiped his face and the back of his neck with the red neckerchief his momma had given him when he was eight years old. It was threadbare in most places, but Bellamy couldn’t bear to part with it. That neckerchief and his daddy’s ten gallon hat meant more to him than almost anything. It was a way to keep his parents close all the time.
‘Wonder if Kane’s back with the new hire,’ Bellamy thought. ‘Gonna be strange, having a lady back on the ranch.’
No woman had lived on the ranch since Bellamy’s momma and he had a strict rule about the hands bringing women to the ranch.
‘Can’t just have random women running around all over the place. They could get hurt. The cattle could trample ‘em, they could get lost on the ranch, it’s definitely big enough,’ Bellamy thought, glancing around at the ranch from atop his horse, Epona (named after the Roman goddess of horses as he had a bit of a mythology obsession). Skyheart Ranch stretched on for miles in every direction. It was one of the biggest ranches in Montana, something Bellamy took quite a bit of pride in. He smiled, thinking about how he had grown the ranch since his daddy’s death and how proud his parents would be to see it flourishing.
‘Yeah, they’d be proud. Right up until they realized I still haven’t settled. No wife, no babies.’ Bellamy sighed. He knew eventually he’d have to find a wife, but he just couldn’t imagine loving anyone the way he loved the ranch.
‘It’s not just land, it’s my home. My family’s blood, sweat, tears make up Skyheart. It’s as much a part of me as Momma and Pops were.’ Bellamy glanced towards the west, where the big house and the barns were located. He noticed how low the sun was getting and gave Epona a nudge to start heading home.
‘Home. What a joke. That huge house hasn’t been a home in four years. Not since-’. Bellamy abruptly cut off that train of thought. Thinking about his parents, about how things used to be, hurt too much.
‘Better go and help the boys lay down hay for the horses. Kane must be back by now and I wanna try and meet the girl before all the dinner craziness. Girl...hmm...said she was 24 on the phone, but she didn’t sound any older than fifteen. Hope she wasn’t lying about her age. I don’t have time for runaways.’
Bellamy rode Epona home, thinking about how things were going to change with a lady back on the ranch. He hoped he hadn’t made a mistake hiring her, but she had sounded so desperate for the job.
***
Clarke
Clarke got out of the truck, in awe of the beautiful house in front of her.
‘This house was made with love,’ she thought. ‘Made for a family. Made to be a home.’ There was a wraparound porch with benches and porch swings every few feet. The house was made of wood and instead of being painted, it looked as if a protective seal was used to protect the wood and let its natural beauty shine through. It was three stories tall, which might have looked ridiculous on any other farm house, but instead it made the building look even more homey. The windows were open on the first floor, with curtains blowing in the light breeze.
As Clarke stepped closer to the house, she could hear music playing and someone singing horribly off-key. She looked around her, letting the tranquility of the ranch seep into her bones and for the first time in what felt like forever, she felt a genuine smile cover her face.
“Well, now, you look happy!” Marcus exclaimed. “Take it that means you approve?” Clarke gave a small laugh and looked back at the house.
“Yes,” she said. “Yes, I definitely approve. It’s beautiful.” Marcus grinned and motioned for her to follow him up the stairs of the porch to the wide front door.
“Well, c’mon in, hon, and see your new home,” Marcus said. Clarke followed Marcus inside, gripping her backpack and trying not to get too excited about the house and, perhaps, a new future here.
‘Don’t get your hopes up, things fall apart, they always fall apart,’ Clarke repeated to herself. ‘Just keep your head down, do your work, and maybe you’ll be able to stay here for awhile.’
As she stepped into the house behind Marcus, Clarke heard the familiar strains of Bad Romance, accompanied by some of the most awful singing she had ever heard.
“That’ll be Wells,” Marcus said, shaking his head and laughing. “C’mon, I’ll introduce you before I go.”
“Wait, go?” Clarke asked, slightly panicked at the idea of losing the one familiar face she knew here. “Go where?”
Marcus chuckled. “Gotta help the boys bed down the horses. Got back in time to get a little work done.”
Clarke felt horribly guilty when he said that. “Marcus, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you were missing work to come get me. Oh, I’m just so-”
Marcus abruptly cut her off. “Clarke, hon, there’s always work to be done. Don’t you worry a bit about me missing some, spending the afternoon with you was much better than the work I missed out on.”
Clarke blushed and looked down on the hardwood floors. ‘I’m not used to people saying nice things to me. I wonder if everyone here is as nice as Marcus.’
Marcus gave her a gentle smile and gestured with his hand. “C’mon, hon, the kitchen’s this way.” He led her through a huge living room that was minimally decorated and into the kitchen. The whole house seemed to have been built as an open floor plan, so a person could see into all the rooms.
“Wells, would you turn that awful noise off?” Marcus lightheartedly grumbled. “Got someone here I want you to meet.”
Clarke stood at the edge of the kitchen, right by a counter, and watched as the most beautiful Black man she had ever seen turned around and glared at Marcus.
“Kane, just because you can’t appreciate beautiful art doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t.” Wells was dressed in tight, black jeans, an oversized, purple sweater that hung off one shoulder, and wearing an overly-bedazzled apron that threw off sparkling lights whenever he moved. “Besides, why on Earth are you in my kitchen at-”. Wells abruptly stopped, his eyes zeroing in on Clarke. His jaw dropped and then he squealed, running towards her with wide open arms. He pulled her into such a tight hug, Clarke felt the breath leave her body.
“This goddess can’t possibly be our new computer whiz!” Wells exclaimed, pulling back to examine Clarke’s face. “This darling belongs on billboards and in magazines, gazing scornfully out at her adoring public!”
Marcus rolled his eyes, but he had an amused smile on his face and genuine affection in his eyes as he looked at Wells. “Wells, this is Clarke Jones, our new hire. Clarke, Wells Jaha, our cook.”
Wells put a hand on his hip and glared at Marcus. “Um, excuse you. I am a chef! I create art and I deserve respect for the masterful dishes I serve you cretins everyday.” Wells turned back to Clarke, seemingly scrutinizing everything from her hair to her clothes to her shoes. She felt slightly uncomfortable with Wells’ very thorough examination, but she also didn’t feel any fear around him.
“Oh, sugar, when was the last time someone fed you? Come, come, come, let me get you some food!” Wells practically dragged Clarke into the kitchen, then pointed to one of the barstools surrounding the enormous kitchen island. “Sit, sugar. Dinner will be ready soon, but I know I have some cookies, maybe a cake, ooh, or maybe a sandwich wrap...”. Wells trailed off, muttering to himself as he went in search of food.
Marcus grinned and turned to Clarke. “You all right here, hon?”
Clarke nodded and smiled. “Yes, thank you. And thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to come and pick me up. I really appreciate it.”
Marcus waved a hand in the air, brushing away her thanks. He grinned when Wells set a plate overflowing with food in front of Clarke, then turned back around to poke through more cabinets.
“Trust me, you’re in good hands here. I’ll see you again real soon at dinner.” Marcus grinned at Clarke as he walked out, leaving her alone with Wells and more food than she had eaten in probably a month.
***
Notes:
Let me know what you think! (Please, please, please 🙏)
Chapter Text
Bellamy
Bellamy was in Barn 3 when Kane walked in.
“Oh, good, you’re back. Pick up the new hire okay?” Bellamy asked. He was turning the hay in the stalls and adding new hay where the rest had been spoiled.
“Yeah, yeah,” Kane said, looking uncomfortable. “She’s...well, she’s definitely a sweet, little thing.” Bellamy frowned, worried about the tone in Kane’s voice.
“Something wrong with her?” he asked. “You don’t think she’s cut out for this life?”
Most people weren’t. Living and working on the ranch could be lonely, with only the other workers to socialize with. It was hard, back-breaking work to run a ranch, and even if the new hire was there just to do the books and inventory, she’d still have quite a lot to do. Ranches were full of different paperwork: permits, grants, loans, receipts, order forms. Bellamy had been dealing with all of that since his parents died and he knew he wasn’t doing the greatest job.
“No, no, I think she’ll fit in real well here,” Kane said, taking off his ten gallon hat to brush back his dark hair, liberally sprinkled with grey. He grabbed a pitchfork and went to work in the stall next to Bellamy. “Think she could be real happy.” Bellamy had known Kane his entire life, so he knew when his foreman wasn’t telling him everything.
“What’s wrong with her, Marcus?” Bellamy bluntly asked.
“Nothing, boss, nothing at all. It’s just...”. Kane sighed, leaning against the pitchfork . “How much did she tell you? About her background?”
“Not much,” Bellamy replied. “From Tallahassee. Has an associate’s degree in business management, never worked on a ranch before. Said she was 24, but I’m not sure that’s true.” Kane chuckled.
“Nah, boss, she’s definitely not 24. I’d say she’s 20, maybe 21. Well, that’s just how she looked to me. Her eyes, though...”. Kane trailed off, shaking his head sadly. “Well, they looked like she was nearing her eighties, all the pain in them.” That stopped Bellamy dead in his tracks.
“What do you mean?” he asked sharply. “What pain?” Bellamy was a pretty tolerant guy; very few things made him angry. But a defenseless person getting hurt was something he wouldn’t tolerate. That’s how he’d met Wells. A few guys had jumped him outside of a bar, beating the shit out of him and calling him every derogatory name in the book. Bellamy immediately ran into the fray. He didn’t even think about it. He sent two of those guys to the hospital and brought Wells back to Skyheart to heal. It was supposed to be temporary, but Wells fell in love with Skyheart and they fell in love with him. He was a part of their family now. Bellamy considered Wells to be his brother.
Kane cleared his throat, looking uncharacteristically uncomfortable. “Look, I’m not sure what happened to her, but someone definitely hurt that girl, boss. She’s a skittish as a new foal. Can barely look you in the eye and always seems to be waiting for someone to hit her.” Bellamy’s hands tightened on his pitchfork, his knuckles turning white from his death grip.
“Jesus,” he muttered. “If she’s uncomfortable around you, what’s gonna happen when she’s in a house full of rowdy hands? I gotta go talk to her.” Kane grabbed Bellamy’s arm before he could walk past him to the big house.
“She might be afraid of you, boss,” Kane said gently. “You’re all big and growly, which is the last thing she needs right now.”
“Growly?” Bellamy raised an eyebrow at Kane, not even trying to hide the smirk on his face.
“Oh, shut up,” Kane said, turning red. “It was something Wells said.”
“Of course it was.” Bellamy grinned, but then he thought about the girl in his house and his smile faded. “I gotta talk to her sometime, Kane. Better it’s before dinner.” Kane released him, but got closer so no one could overhear their conversation.
“Just be careful with her,” Kane said quietly. “Gentle. She’s a real sweet thing, pretty as a picture, and obviously smart since she knows all this computer nonsense. But she’s definitely hurting and it could take her a long time to actually feel safe here.”
Bellamy nodded, then started walking towards the big house, a frown marring his handsome face.
***
Clarke
“That did not happen!” Clarke exclaimed. She was laughing over a story Wells was telling her about the infamous “Sheep Stampede”.
“Swear on my mother’s grave, all thirty of the hands were running around, buck naked, trying to catch the sheep,” Wells said, laughing. “Oh, I do wish I had taken pictures.”
Clarke laughed again, completely comfortable with Wells, when she heard the front door open and close. She immediately jumped off the stool she had been sitting on and moved so the kitchen island was between her and whoever had just entered the house. Wells noted her quick, defensive movement and came to stand beside Clarke, silently supporting her.
They didn’t have to wait long to see who had entered the house. A tall cowboy, with skin darker than Clarke’s and freckles covering his cheeks, strolled into the kitchen. He also noticed Clarke’s position and stopped a few feet away from the island, smiling at them both.
“Wells, are you already corrupting our new hire?” His voice was low and his smile was to die for. His curly black hair flopped into his chocolate-colored eyes and he pushed it back with a large hand. Everything about this man was big, Clarke realized.
‘Jesus,’ she thought. ‘If I had known there was some Cowboy God with arms like freaking Thor here, I would have stayed as far away as possible. I can’t do it again, I can’t fall for someone who’ll just hurt me. And that’s all men do. They hurt you.’ She realized she had been staring at the strange man, and she immediately blushed and looked down at the floor. What Clarke didn’t seem to realize is that he had been staring at her just as intently.
‘I am so fucked,’ Bellamy thought, his heart pounding. ‘I didn’t realize I was hiring a god damn angel. And that’s the only thing she can be: an angel. A perfect, beautiful angel.’
***
Notes:
This is what I’ve edited so far, so I would (yet again) love to hear what you think! Also, I don’t really have an update schedule in mind. I’m betting I can add a few chapters a week, but please don’t hold me to that. Writing/editing goes much faster when I’m not stuck in a depressive episode and, well, right now I am. But keep your eyes peeled for updates and please subscribe to the story for email updates on new chapters. (I’ll always mention updates on my Tumblr page as well [username: alannacouture]).
Thank you so much for going on this journey with me!
Chapter Text
Bellamy
Wells looked from Bellamy to Clarke, noting how both of them were blushing. Clarke was averting her eyes, while Bellamy looked as if he’d just been beamed by a 2x4.
“Now, Boss,” Wells said, “you know I wouldn’t corrupt anyone. Especially someone as sweet and innocent as our Clarke here.”
Clarke sent a death glare Wells’ way, who just smiled, clearly enjoying the obvious sexual tension between the two of them. Bellamy suddenly seemed to realize he was just standing in the kitchen, staring at the poor girl.
‘God, she looks terrified. Pull it together, Blake! The girl needs support, not someone drooling over her.’ Bellamy cleared his throat, then carefully stepped closer, making sure his movements were slow and deliberate.
“You must be Miss Jones. I’m Bellamy Blake, owner of Skyheart. We spoke on the phone,” he said, keeping his voice soft and gentle. Clarke still didn’t look up, but she gave a slight nod.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Blake,” Clarke said quietly. “Thank you again for hiring me.”
“It’s just Bellamy, please,” he said, smiling. “Or Boss, but that’s a name everyone’s just started calling me, not a name I picked out for myself.” Clarke smiled slightly, still staring at the floor.
“Well, technically none of us picked out the names we’re called,” she said. There was a slight pause, then both Wells and Bellamy started laughing.
‘Jesus, even his laugh is amazing,’ Clarke thought. ‘I’m so screwed. I need to avoid this man like the plague.’
‘God, she’s beautiful, funny, and clearly smart. I just have no idea how to help her be less afraid,” Bellamy thought, watching Clarke wring her hands together. ‘And I have to help her.’
“Boss,” Wells said, picking up on the tension, “I haven’t given Clarke a tour of the big house yet. You wanna show her around while I finish dinner?” Bellamy looked over at Clarke, who met his eyes briefly before looking away.
“I don’t want to take up your time, sir,” Clarke said, backing away slightly.
“It’s not a problem at all,” Bellamy replied quickly. “Besides, I came in here early to meet you before the Hurricane arrives.” Wells grinned, pulling yet another pie out of his four industrial ovens.
“Yeah, you better give Clarke a heads-up about the Hurricane or they might scare her to death,” Wells called out as he set the pie down on the counter a ways from where Bellamy and Clarke were talking.
“I’m guessing we’re not talking about some freak weather anomaly?” Clarke asked. “I feel like I would have heard about hurricanes in Montana.” Wells and Bellamy both laughed.
“No, the Hurricane is our not-so-affectionate nickname for the hungry hands,” Bellamy said, chuckling.
“Those boys come in every night and demolish the place. I’m not sure they even appreciate the exquisite cuisine I make them.” Wells sniffed loudly, pretending he was stopping himself from crying. “All my hard work, slaving away in front of these hot stoves, and no one even cares. No one says thank you. Just inhale and bail.” Clarke couldn’t stop herself from smiling.
“Oh, you poor thing,” she said, her voice teasing. “I promise to faithfully thank you after every meal.” Wells dramatically bent back, holding the back of his hand to his forehead like he was swooning.
“Where have you been all my life?” Wells asked melodramatically. “Once you tire of these ill-mannered gluttons, we’ll run away together and I’ll finally open up my French pastry shop.”
“The one you’ve been threatening to open for years?” Bellamy had a twinkle in his eye as he looked at Wells.
“I was just waiting for the right partner, someone with class and sophistication,” Wells replied haughtily. “Is it my fault it took so long to find her? Now go, my doves, explore away! I need to finish my latest culinary masterpiece.” He turned back to the three pots on the stove. Clarke had no idea what was in them, but it smelled delicious. Bellamy gave her a sweet smile and gestured to the rest of the house.
“Shall we?” he asked. Clarke looked up at him, finally giving him a little smile and hesitantly nodded.
“Okay, well, you’ve obviously seen the kitchen. It used to be less Master Chef quality, but Wells can be rather picky.”
“Your momma loved the changes just as much as I did!” Wells called out from the kitchen, not bothering to turn around. Bellamy chuckled.
“That is very true. Now we have our dining room over here.” He pointed to the room that housed three long, wooden tables. There was probably enough room to fit over fifty people. “It used to actually be nice, smaller tables, more intimate. Somewhere my family could sit and enjoy dinner and the hands could still fit everywhere. After my folks...”. Bellamy trailed off, staring at the room but not really seeing it, clearly lost in some past memory. After a moment he shook his head and smiled at Clarke again.
“Sorry,” Bellamy said. “Anyway, when I took over, we added twenty jobs, so we basically just turned this room into a mess hall.” He started to walk away, then noticed Clarke wasn’t following him. She was staring at the tables with wide eyes, her face pale.
“You all right, angel?” Both Bellamy and Clarke gave a slight jump at the word “angel”.
‘Well, that just slipped out,’ he thought, glancing at Clarke worriedly. ‘It fits her, but I’m not sure I should be calling her anything other than Clarke.’
‘“Angel”?’ she thought, glancing at Bellamy, then quickly looking away. “No one’s ever called me that before. I’m just racking up nicknames, what with “hon” and “sugar”, now “angel”.’ She cleared her throat, obviously flustered.
“Um, I was just,” Clarke paused before continuing. “Well, I was just wondering how many people actually work here. On the phone, you mentioned ‘some hands’, but never really specified.” Bellamy grinned, shoving his hands into the pockets of his well-worn jeans.
“Total’s 53. Well, 54, now that you’re here. We have one of the biggest work crews around,” he stated proudly.
The color drained completely from Clarke’s face and she stuck out a hand to grab the back of a chair as she wobbled slightly. Bellamy frowned, moving over to her.
“Hey, hey, it’s all right, angel. These boys might be loud, but they’d never hurt you. No one on this ranch would,” he said gently. Clarke shook her head slightly, staring blankly at the room before turning to Bellamy with a tight smile on her face.
“Of course, Mr. Blake,” Clarke said in a monotone voice. “I, uh, I know, um, I know I’m safe here.” She was clearly lying and Bellamy wanted to reassure her some more, but a loud jumble of noise started forming at the front of the house. Clarke swung around quickly, staring at the front door, before running back to the kitchen.
‘Shit,’ Bellamy thought. ‘Now she’s terrified and I can’t do a damn thing about it right now.’ He started toward the kitchen, intending to follow her, but the loud bang of the front door opening stopped him as a crowd of loud, hungry men descended on the house.
‘Shit.’
***
Notes:
Thoughts? Comments? Random emojis to let me know you’re reading?
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke ran into the pantry at the back of the kitchen just as the front door was thrown open. All she could hear were loud, male voices and what sounded like hundreds of stomping feet. She pushed herself as far back into the pantry as possible, which, unfortunately, wasn’t very far, as the pantry was wide but not deep.
‘Oh god, oh god, oh god,’ she kept thinking. Her hands were visibly shaking and a cold sweat was forming on her forehead. She felt herself starting to pant for air, recognizing the beginning symptoms of a panic attack.
‘No, no, no, not now, please not now, Mr. Blake will fire me for sure if I have a panic attack my first day here. What am I supposed to do again? Breathe? Breathe deeply? How the fuck am I supposed to do that when I can’t catch my breath to begin with?!’ As Clarke cursed her former therapist and tried to breathe, she listened to Wells jokingly chastise the hands.
“I said a line, boys, not some mosh pit. Line! If you spill anything, I refuse to make more!” There seemed to be equal parts laughter and groans at this pronouncement.
“C’mon, Wells, you wouldn’t let us starve, would ya?” a voice called out.
“Yeah, Wells, we’re so hungry!” another voice said.
“Y’all are lucky Wells is even feeding you at all when you can’t even make a proper chow line!” Marcus said loudly, his voice cutting over all the chatter.
“Yes, thank you, Kane!” Wells cried. “At least one of you gluttonous heathens respects order and discipline.”
“Can’t help it,” another voice chimed in. “Your food’s just too good.” There were pleased murmurs of agreement, as it became less noisy, with the sounds of chairs being pulled out all around the tables in the dining room. The loud, raucous conversations had basically stopped and the only sounds were silverware moving across plates and quiet requests for salt, pepper, or anything else already set out on the tables for dinner.
“Hey, Wells?” Marcus called. “You make anymore lemonade?”
“Yes, sir,” Wells responded. “I’ll grab it out of the fridge.” Footsteps sounded, getting closer to the pantry. Clarke pushed herself into a corner, hoping that, for once, her prayers to be invisible were actually answered.
“Clarke?” Wells was staring at her with a bemused expression on his face.
‘Well, yet again, my invisibility powers have failed me,’ Clarke thought morosely. ‘Fan-fucking-tastic.’
“Sugar, what’re you doing?” Wells asked. “Aren’t you hungry?” Clarke just stared at him, still unable to catch her breath, her hands trembling. Wells’ frown deepened and he took a step closer to her. Clarke jumped and pushed herself even further into the corner, the pantry’s shelves digging into her back. A look of understanding crossed Wells’ face and he gave her a sad smile.
“Sugar, I’m gonna grab that lemonade, then how about you and I go out and eat on the porch?” Wells nodded his head toward the kitchen door that led out to the wraparound porch. “Plenty of comfy places to sit and we’ve got our choice of spectacular views. What do you say?” Clarke gave a stiff nod and started to slowly untangle herself from the shelves.
“Hey, Wells?” Bellamy called out. “Is Clarke back there?” Bellamy’s voice caused Clarke to swing herself back into the pantry, her back giving a rather painful sounding thud against the shelves. Clarke, however, didn’t even notice hitting her back. She kept her eyes trained on the kitchen, waiting for Bellamy to find her, then promptly fire her.
“Just, uh, just wait right here, sugar,” Wells said gently. “I’ll go talk to him.” Clarke found herself sliding down to the floor. She wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her face in them, not wanting to see Mr. Blake. Wells walked back into the kitchen, shaking his head at Bellamy and gesturing for Bellamy to follow him into the hall.
“Boss, Clarke and I are gonna go eat out on the porch, if that’s all right,” Wells said quietly. Bellamy sighed, running his hands through his shaggy hair, causing some of it to stick up at weird angles.
“Shit. She’s freaking out, isn’t she?” Bellamy muttered. Wells grimaced and nodded. “Yeah, yeah, of course you can eat on the porch,” Bellamy said, sighing. “But, uh, do you think you could get her to just pop her head into the dining room? I want the hands to know what she looks like so they’re not surprised when they see her around the house.” Wells glanced back towards the kitchen.
“I can ask, Boss, but, well...”. Wells trailed off. “It might be better coming from you. I mean, I’m not the one who can fire her.” Bellamy reared back in surprise.
“Fire her?” he asked, sounding point blank offended. “Wells, what the hell are you talking about? I’m not gonna fire her!”
“Bell,” Wells sighed, “I know that and you know that, but that scared girl in there doesn’t. It might be nice if you put her mind at ease right away.” Bellamy nodded slowly.
“All right. I’ll go talk to her. But, uh, can you just make sure you’re close by? So she doesn’t feel threatened?”
“You’ve noticed it too, then,” Wells said sadly.
“Actually, no, but Kane mentioned how...”. Bellamy trailed off, trying to figure out how to phrase what he wanted to say. “Kane mentioned how nervous she seemed and I want her to feel safe here.”
“She’s in the pantry,” Wells told Bellamy. “I’m gonna grab the lemonade, then I’ll be right back. Just, uh, just don’t get too close. And it might be a good idea to get down on her level.” Bellamy frowned.
“I don’t understand.”
“If you’re towering over her, she’s not gonna hear a word you say,” Wells explained. “She’s just gonna keep panicking at something she views as a threat.”
“Oh. Right,” Bellamy said, frowning. “Okay, I’ll be in the back.” Wells nodded and turned to the fridge, grabbing two big pitchers of lemonade and heading toward the dining room. Bellamy slowly walked to the back of the kitchen, his heart breaking when he saw Clarke huddled in the corner, hiding her face from the rest of the room. He knelt down, keeping a good four feet between the two of them.
“Angel?” Bellamy said softly. Clarke lifted her head and stared at him, her eyes much too wide and a visible cold sweat on her forehead.
“M-m-mister Blake...I, um, I-”. Bellamy gently cut her off.
“Wells told me you’re going to eat on the porch for dinner. I was hoping I could introduce you to the hands real quick so they’ll recognize you when they see you working around the house.” Clarke stared at Bellamy, confused.
‘Why isn’t he firing me?’ she thought. ‘Wait, no, I don’t want him to, just, just go with him! Pull yourself together and go with him.’ Clarke slowly nodded and picked herself up off the pantry floor. Bellamy gave her a sweet, encouraging smile and led her to the entrance of the dining room.
“Boys,” Bellamy said, getting everyone’s attention. “This is Clarke Jones. She’s our new bookkeeper...accountant...person. Ugh, whatever, she’s here to do the numbers so I don’t have to anymore.” The men laughed and greeted Clarke, who smiled back shakily. Wells walked over to the entrance and gently took Clarke’s hand.
“Y’all are gonna be seeing Miss Clarke around the big house, so be nice!” Wells said sternly. More lighthearted grumbling followed Wells’ statement, but it was apparently too much work to form full sentences when there was still food to be eaten.
“C’mon, sugar, I’ll grab you a plate and we’ll go sit outside.” Clarke and Wells walked into the kitchen, Bellamy staring after them. Kane walked over to Bellamy, quickly noting the look of admiration on his face.
“She’s a real sweet girl, ain’t she, Boss?” Kane asked, trying to hide his smile. Bellamy just nodded, still watching as Clarke and Wells headed outside. “Hope you’ll give her time to get settled, Boss. She needs friends now, and a safe place to call home, before anything else.”
“Don’t worry, Marcus,” Bellamy said rather absentmindedly. “She’s safe here. I’ll make sure of it.” He wandered off down the hall toward the bedrooms, forgetting to grab dinner. Kane just chuckled, shaking his head. As he left the big house to walk back to his cabin, he couldn’t help the grin spreading over his face. All he could think was that Clarke was going to bring some much needed changes to the ranch.
***
Notes:
I am so very, very grateful for those of you who have taken the time to comment and leave kudos. I appreciate it it so much. 💙💙💙
Let me know what you think!
Chapter 7: Different Paths, Same Destination
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke and Wells sat on the porch, staring at the sunset. It was quiet and peaceful outside, everything she needed.
“It’s really beautiful here,” Clarke almost whispered, not wanting to break the tranquility.
“I know,” Wells said, sighing. “When I first saw this place, I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to leave. So I just haven’t!” He chuckled softly, making Clarke smile.
“Marcus said you’ve been here seven years?” she asked.
“That’s right, sugar,” Wells replied. “I had some...well, some problems in a town a few counties over. Bell found me and brought me back here. Wasn’t supposed to be forever, but, well...”. Wells trailed off, a slight frown on his face. He stared blankly ahead, lost in a memory.
“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, Wells,” Clarke said. “We all have our secrets.” Wells glanced over at her when she said that, but Clarke was already staring at the plate in her lap.
“I’m not sure anything I tell you is a secret, sugar,” said Wells, stretching out his legs in front of him. “Everyone around here knows how I ended up at Skyheart.” Clarke glanced at him, silently urging him to continue. “I’m originally from Louisiana, small town, even smaller minds. Never really fit in, so when I was 16, I took off. Figured I’d find someplace I actually fit. Problem was, no matter where I went, it never felt right.”
“You’re always on the outside looking in,” Clarke murmured. She didn’t seem to even realize she said it, but Wells nodded slowly, giving her a knowing smile.
“Exactly,” he said. “So I just kept moving on. Picked up a bunch of random skills.”
“Wait,” Clarke said, holding up her hand, a teasing note in her voice. “You’re saying you’re more than just the best chef this side of the Mississippi? I don’t believe it!” Wells chuckled, setting his empty plate by his feet.
“It is hard to believe, since my culinary skills are oh so legendary, but I actually know quite a lot about construction. They’re always looking for cheap labor on construction sites, so I’d work until people became too uncomfortable around me, then I’d move on. Worked a lot of truck stop diners, too, which led to even more work in restaurants.”
“Why were people uncomfortable around you?” Clarke asked. “You’re amazing.” She immediately blushed and looked down, obviously embarrassed by her compliment. Wells grinned.
“Well, thank you, sugar. I think you’re pretty amazing yourself.” Clarke’s blush got even darker and she refused to meet Wells’ eyes. He knew he shouldn’t push her on this, not yet. Her body language practically screamed how uncomfortable she was talking about herself. “Anyway, found my way to Montana seven years ago. I was working on an oil pipeline and a few of the guys I worked with invited me out for some drinks. I jumped at the chance. Finally thought I was making some friends.”
Wells shook his head, staring down at the porch as he unconsciously rubbed the side of his torso. Clarke tentatively reached over and laid her hand on his arm. Wells looked at her, surprised, but then covered her hand with his own and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Clarke gave him a small smile before withdrawing her hand.
“Well, it turned out they only wanted to take me out so they could beat on the faggot.” Wells shook his head ruefully. “Biggest irony of it all is I’m not even gay.”
“You’re not?” Clarke asked, then clapped her hand over her mouth. “I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.” Wells just grinned.
“It’s all right, sugar. I know almost everyone around here assumes I am and I’m not bothered by that one bit. But, no, not gay. I’m asexual. Men, women, nobody does it for me. Sex is just not something I’m interested in or even care about. Now, other people’s sex lives, I love interfering in. I live on gossip.” Clarke laughed, shaking her head. Wells smiled, then sighed. “Anyway, I was pretty drunk by the time they suggested we all go outside, so I didn’t think anything of it ‘til I was nailed in the stomach with a metal pipe.”
“Jesus Christ,” Clarke muttered, her hand flying up to cover her mouth in shock.
“Yeah,” Wells continued, “they were beating my ass pretty good and I was certain I was gonna die in that dirty alley. Then, out of nowhere, Bell showed up.”
“What?” Clarke yelped in shock. “Bellamy saved you? Bellamy, our boss? That big, intimidating, scary cowboy? That Bellamy?” Wells laughed, seemingly delighted by her description.
“Yes, ma’am,” Wells replied, “that Bellamy. It was five against one and Bell whooped ‘em all. Then he picked me up, carried me out of that alley, and drove me straight to a hospital. I never expected him to stick around, but when I opened my eyes again, he was sitting by my bedside. He introduced himself, told me about Skyheart, and asked if I wanted to come recuperate there. Honestly, saying yes was the easiest decision I ever made. He brought me here to Skyheart and I just haven’t left.”
“Wow,” Clarke said quietly, seeing Bellamy in a new light. “I don’t think anybody would do something like that for me. Not anymore.” Clarke frowned suddenly, realizing she had said too much. Wells scrutinized her for a few moments, then decided to just go for it.
“You don’t have any family, sugar?” he asked gently. There was a long pause as Clarke stared up at the stars just beginning to form in the sky. Then she sighed and shook her head, looking directly at Wells.
“My parents and my older brother were killed in a drive-by when I was 15. We were all walking out of some cheap convenience store, and then... All these loud bangs started going off. My brother, he...”. Clarke paused, her voice choking up with tears. She continued, no longer looking at Wells.
“My brother jumped on top of me, shielding me. My mom and dad just, just fell. Right next to us on the pavement. I don’t really remember much after that. I woke up in the hospital and some cop told me there was a turf war going on between two gangs. The person they were trying to kill walked out of the store right before we did. My parents died almost instantly. My brother...”. Clarke paused again, one tear sliding down her cheek that she hurriedly wiped away. “My brother died in the OR. A bullet had torn through his liver and they didn’t get to him fast enough. I was shot three times, but nothing critical. Once I was released from the hospital, I went into the system.”
“Oh, sugar,” said Wells, the sympathy evident in his voice. “No grandparents, aunts, uncles?”
“No,” Clarke replied, the emotion leaving her voice. “There was no one.” There was a long silence, then Clarke suddenly stood, grabbing her and Wells’ plates. “You know, I’m, uh, I’m a little tired. I think I’ll wash these, then get some sleep.” Wells stood too and carefully took the plates from her hands.
“One of the hands will do it,” Wells said, giving Clarke a smile. “We have a rotating kitchen schedule, so I never have to do the dishes. Just create fantabulous meals!” Wells laughed and, despite how forced it sounded, it made Clarke smile and broke the uncomfortable tension. “Besides, I’m sure Bell is still up to show you your room and everything we set up.”
“Set up?” Clarke asked. “Marcus mentioned getting the room ready, but I figured there might be new sheets. Maybe clearing out some space in the closet.”
“Oh, sugar, once I heard we were finally gonna have a girl on the ranch, I went out right away and got everything you could possibly need,” Wells said, beaming at her. “Soaps, shampoos, lotions, tampons, pads. I also replaced the towels and all the bedding so it’s nice and homey. Not scary and utilitarian. Oh, and I found a used iPad for a great price. Wrote down the ranch’s WiFi password and put the note on one of your bedside tables.” Clarke stared at Wells, her mouth hanging open in shock.
“But-but you didn’t even know me!” Clarke sputtered out. “Why would you go to so much trouble?”
“Ah, hell, sugar, it wasn’t any trouble at all,” Wells answered with a shrug. “After his parents passed, Bell packed away all the nice, comfy touches that Aurora had put around the house. I needed to make sure you felt comfortable. Saw Skyheart as a home, not just a place of employment.”
“Why would he pack up all the stuff his mom used to decorate the house?” Clarke asked, puzzled. Wells sighed, his eyes sad.
“I think it hurt too much, having all these reminders of his mama and daddy. Bell’s changed a lot since they died, not all of it good.” Before Clarke could ask about Bellamy and how he’d changed, Wells started dragging her to the door. “C’mon, sugar, days start real early around here. Best get you settled.”
Clarke followed Wells quietly into the house, her mind whirling with all this new information about Bellamy.
***
Notes:
Discussions of LGBTQIA+ assault and gun violence
Thoughts? Comments? Supportive thumbs up emojis 👍?
Chapter Text
Bellamy
Bellamy ran into the living room so Wells and Clarke wouldn’t find him at the door, eavesdropping. He tried to look casual, sitting on the couch, but he knew he was doing a terrible job.
‘God, poor Clarke, losing her family like that,’ Bellamy thought, waiting for them to come inside. ‘Then getting put into foster care. I wonder if something happened to her then, when she was in some foster home. All I know is she definitely lied about a few things when she took this job. Her age, obviously. Kane’s right, I don’t think she’s more than 21, if that. She also lied about where she’s from. Told me on the phone she was from Tallahassee, but in her emails she said Nashville. I just figured she’d moved, ended up living in both places, but she lost her slight Southern accent right away when she started talking about her family.’
Wells and Clarke walked in and Bellamy immediately stood up, staring at her. Clarke noticed and averted her eyes, staring at the floor.
‘No matter how long it takes, I’m gonna get that angel to trust me,’ Bellamy thought, watching Clarke uncomfortably scuff her foot back and forth. ‘Then, maybe, after a little while- Jesus, Bellamy, stop it! You can want her all you want, but right now it isn’t about you. It’s about her. It’ll always be about her from now on.’ Bellamy stood there silently, just staring, so Wells loudly cleared his throat.
“Well, Boss, I’m off. Clarke, you need anything, I’m in that cabin right there.” Wells pointed out one of the picture windows to a small cottage near Kane’s, who had mentioned the two little cabins to Clarke on the drive to the big house. “I don’t sleep a ton, so you’re always welcome, no matter what.”
“Night, Wells,” Bellamy said, slightly irritated at the idea that Clarke would go to Wells for help instead of him. “We’ll see you tomorrow.” Wells left, giving Bellamy a look he couldn’t decipher. Then there was just silence, as Bellamy stared at Clarke and Clarke stared at the floor.
“Well, um,” Bellamy stammered, “let me, uh, let me show you to your room.” Clarke just nodded, following him as he started walking down the hallway that led away from the living room, kitchen, and dining room.
“This room here’s the office,” said Bellamy, opening a door. “This’ll be where you’re working most of the time.” Clarke looked around the room, her eyes widening at the stacks of ledgers, papers scattered across the room, and books seemingly thrown haphazardly into random places. Bellamy noticed the overwhelmed look on her face and blushed slightly, running his hands through his hair.
“Yeah, it’s, uh, it’s not really organized. At all. Sorry about that,” Bellamy said, grimacing.
“It’s not a problem,” Clarke said softly. “It’s what I’m here for, right? To get everything organized and running smoothly?”
“Well, yeah, but this is...”. Bellamy trailed off. “I’m sorry about all the extra work it’s gonna be. My Pops did most of the ordering and my momma was our computer whiz. I just never learned any of it before they...”. Bellamy stopped, clearing his throat, pain evident on his face. After a deep breath, he started walking down the hallway again. He pointed to a door at the end of the hallway.
“That one’s my room. You need anything during the night, just knock on the door,” he told Clarke. She ducked her head, avoiding his eyes yet again.
“I don’t want to bother you, Mr. Blake,” she said quietly.
“Name’s still Bellamy, angel. And trust me, it wouldn’t be a bother at all.” They walked a little further, Bellamy opening a few doors to show a bathroom and at least two guest rooms, then they came to another door that Bellamy stopped in front of, looking a little nervous. “This one’s yours.” He opened the door, letting Clarke get her first look at her new room. “Wells basically set everything up, but if there’s anything missing or something you wanna change, let me, Kane, or Wells know. Those two and me all have access to our company credit card and they can order you anything you want.” Clarke slowly brushed past Bellamy, her shoulder briefly grazing his chest. Their eyes immediately snapped to one another.
‘Did she feel it too?’ Bellamy thought, actively trying not to rub his chest where they touched. ‘That, that tingle, that little burst of electricity? We’re connected, me and her, I know it. Now I just have to make sure she knows it too.’
‘Holy shit, what was that?’ Clarke thought, more than a little shaken by the unexpected moment. ‘I’ve never felt anything like that before.’ Clarke shook her head, trying to convince herself it was just static electricity, as she stepped further into the room. It was lovely, with a big bed, end tables, a dresser, and a bookshelf that went all the way up to the ceiling. ‘I could have books!’ she thought excitedly. ‘Like, actually own them! Cage hated it when I read. He always thought I could be doing something else around the house or doing something for him. I remember when- No. No remembering. No thinking about Cage or the past. This is my fresh start.’
The room was decorated in mostly whites and blues, with a few purple and pink touches thrown in. There were two doors on opposite sides of the room. Clarke walked over to one and opened it, revealing a huge closet. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever owned enough stuff to fill a closet like this,” she thought. ‘Even when Mom and Dad were alive. Now, all I own is in a backpack.’
At that thought, Clarke whirled around, searching the room for it.
“Whoa,” Bellamy said, startled by Clarke’s sudden panic. “What’s wrong, angel?”
“My, uh, my backpack. Where, where is it?” Clarke’s voice had risen as she looked around desperately, tugging on Bellamy’s heartstrings.
“Over here, angel. I wasn’t sure where you wanted it, so I just set it by the bed.” As soon as Clarke saw it, she began to calm down.
‘That backpack is my lifeline,’ Clarke thought, mentally sighing in relief. ‘All the money I took is in there. If I ever need to leave here in a hurry, I’ll need that money to get away.’
Bellamy was watching Clarke closely, but couldn’t figure out why she calmed down so quickly after seeing her backpack. ‘I get it’s the only thing she brought with her, but we can easily replace whatever’s in there. Hell, I was planning on asking Wells to go on an online shopping spree for Clarke since she clearly doesn’t have a lot. My angel deserves to be dressed in the best clothes money can buy. Plus, Wells will enjoy the hell out of it and it’ll help the two of them bond. Clarke needs friends and she already seems to like Wells.’
While Bellamy had been ruminating over Clarke’s strange attachment to her backpack, she had moved on to the other door. Opening it, Clarke found a gorgeous bathroom: a glass shower with two shower heads, a bowl sink with lots of counter space on each side, and three different cabinets with the doors removed that were already stocked full of various toiletries. The floor was made of tile that seemed to emanate heat. Blue and purple towels hung on different towel racks and the shower was already full of shampoos, body washes, soaps, and conditioners.
“I hope this is all okay,” Bellamy said, leaning against the bathroom’s doorframe. He looked almost embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Wells did all the shopping, but, again, whatever we don’t have that you need, either let Wells know so he can pick it up when he goes to town or let me or Kane know and we’ll order it for you.”
Clarke didn’t say anything as she looked around the bathroom, then glanced back at the bedroom. Bellamy could see tears forming in her eyes and was about to ask what was wrong so he could fix it, when she started laughing.
“This is...”. Clarke trailed off, her hands clasped under her chin as she smiled. “Oh my god, Bellamy, this is all so amazing! I never expected something like this. And everyone here has been so nice. I just...”. Clarke turned around and smiled at Bellamy, a real, genuine smile that nearly knocked him on his ass, she looked so beautiful. “Thank you. Oh, god, thank you so much! I promise, I’ll be a hard worker. You won’t regret hiring me, Mr. Blake.” Bellamy grinned, clearly pleased she was so happy.
“I know that, Clarke,” Bellamy said with a smile still firmly plastered on his lips. “I think you’re gonna fit in real well here. I think you’ll be really happy.” Clarke smiled at him again, but she started wringing her hands together again as if to stop herself from touching anything.
“The, uh, the windows are locked,” Bellamy said, walking back into the bedroom. Clarke followed him, deliberately keeping some distance between the two of them. “We have AC in the big house, so keeping them closed isn’t a problem, but if you do wanna open ‘em, go right ahead. Your bedroom door locks too, and I left the only key on the nightstand there, where your iPad is. You’ll be the only one who’ll be able to get in here. Oh, and, uh, Wells gets to the big house around 5:30 every morning to start making breakfast and the hands are usually all out on the ranch by 7:30. You don’t have to get up that early, of course.”
Bellamy scratched his chin, his stubble making a rasping sound, as he tried to think of anything else he needed to add. “Wells has a radio so he can call either me or Kane if there’s some sort of emergency. There are a number of other radios, too, ‘cause sometimes some of the hands grab ‘em if they’re going pretty far from the houses or barns. You have any questions about the paperwork, I’ll be happy to sit down with you after dinner and we can go over everything. Umm... Oh, Wells spends most of the day in the big house, preparing dinner or getting things together for our lunches. So you won’t be here all alone, Wells will almost always be in the house with you.” Bellamy paused again. “Well, I, um, I think that’s everything. You have anything you wanna ask me?” Clarke just shook her head. “Well, all right, then. I’ll, uh, I’ll just see you tomorrow.”
Bellamy started walking to the door when Clarke said quietly, “Thank you, Mis-, uh, I mean, Bellamy. Thank you for the job and a place to stay. You’ll never know how grateful I am.” Bellamy smiled sweetly at her as he reached the door.
“Welcome home to Skyheart, Clarke.”
***
Notes:
Comments are oh so appreciated! (As our kudos!) Please let me know if you’re enjoying the story (& that Bellarke fans are still out there, reading new material) 💙
Chapter Text
Clarke
BANG!
Clarke shot out of bed, trying to reach a corner of the room before Cage found her. She got tangled in the sheets and fell to the floor, hitting her hip hard. The pain barely registered, as she desperately tried to reach the corner. Clarke suddenly froze and looked around.
‘What the...’, Clarke thought, confused. ‘This isn’t our house in Chicago. Where the hell...’. Suddenly all of yesterday came back to her. Her heart rate began to slow and her breathing evened out as a sense of calm washed over her. ‘Right. Montana. Skyheart. Jesus, that scared me. I wonder what it was.’ Clarke glanced over at the clock on the nightstand. It was 6:45 in the morning. She sighed, relieved.
‘The hands are here for breakfast. It was just the door opening,’ Clarke paused in her thought, glaring through the wall at the kitchen. ‘Loudly.’ She looked around the room, the early morning rays of the sun shining through the curtains. The room was even prettier in daylight.
‘I need to make sure I thank Wells. This place is...well, it’s perfect.’ Clarke frowned suddenly. ‘I can’t get attached to this place. I might have to move on right away. I can’t let these people into my heart.’
Clarke let out a gusty sigh, knowing she had already lost that battle. She adored Wells and Marcus reminded her so much of her grandfather, who had passed away when she was young. And then there was Bellamy. Clarke honestly didn’t know how she felt about him yet, she just knew there was something there, something that would have been worth exploring if she hadn’t already promised herself to never let another man into her heart.
‘God, I fell asleep so quickly last night.’ She picked the tangled blankets up off the floor, trying to straighten them out. ‘I didn’t even have any nightmares! This is the first time in years I’ve had a full night’s sleep.’ Clarke looked at the clock again and decided against trying to eat breakfast with the hands.
‘I’m just not ready yet. I’ll take a shower, get all the musty bus smells off of me, then go and get something from Wells. I have to start on the office today. I’m definitely going to need food and coffee to get through that.’ Clarke checked that the lock on the bedroom door was still securely fastened, then scooped up her backpack and walked into the bathroom.
‘I don’t really have a lot of clothing options,’ she thought as she looked through her backpack, finding a spare pair of jeans and a few thin, long-sleeved T-shirts. ‘But it’s not like I’m trying to impress anyone. A T-shirt and some jeans should be fine.’ Clarke stripped off her clothes from the day before. She had been so exhausted, she hadn’t bothered changing before going to bed.
‘Okay, a shower, breakfast, then try and make a dent in the office. This is nice, actually, planning out a day without worrying. I could get used to it.’ Clarke smiled as she stepped into the shower, humming softly to herself.
***
Bellamy
Bellamy was pretending to help in the kitchen, looking down the hallway every few seconds. He kept bumping into Wells, who finally had enough.
“Boss, for God’s sake, she’s fine,” Wells said. “She probably didn’t wanna eat with everyone just yet.” Bellamy just nodded absentmindedly, wiping down the counter with a dirty sponge.
“All right, that’s it,” Wells snapped, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “Get out of my kitchen.”
“What?” frowned Bellamy.
“You heard me. Get out of my kitchen, stop spreading germs and god knows what else on my counters, and stop worrying!” Wells grabbed the sponge out of Bellamy’s hand and dropped it into one of the sinks. “She’s fine. Poor thing probably needed a good night’s sleep. She looked exhausted.” Bellamy quickly turned to face Wells, concern showing on his face.
“You noticed it too?” he asked, his voice stressed. “Maybe we should give her some time off, let her get used to ranch life before she starts working.” Wells rolled his eyes, pushing Bellamy toward the front door.
“She’s not dying, Boss,” Wells said, yanking open the front door. “She’s just tired and needs some good meals, get her nice and healthy again.”
“So you’ll look after her?” asked Bellamy, holding onto the doorframe on either side of him so Wells couldn’t push him out of the house. “Just, just make sure she doesn’t exert herself too much.”
Wells rolled his eyes again and sarcastically raised his right hand. “I swear to look after her and make sure she doesn’t die of exhaustion. Now get the hell out of this house!” Bellamy grinned as Wells shoved him through the front door.
“You do know I’m your boss, right?” Bellamy asked. “Not the other way around?”
“If it makes you feel better, then sure. You are most definitely the boss,” Wells replied in an overly placating tone. “Now go.” He watched Bellamy trudge to the barns, muttering to himself and turning back every few seconds to see if Clarke had magically appeared.
“That man...”, Wells said with fond exasperation, shaking his head as he closed the front door.
“What man?” asked a sweet, feminine voice behind him. Wells turned, seeing Clarke standing near the kitchen counter. She was dressed simply, in jeans and a white, long sleeved T-shirt, but it only seemed to enhance her beauty. Her jeans showcased her long, lean legs and the T-shirt, while loose enough that her curves weren’t on display, lent a sense of innocence to her. Her wet hair was piled on top of her head, with a pencil sticking through it to hold it in place. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, yet still managed to look radiant. Wells smiled at her.
“Oh, Bell’s just trying to use every excuse in the book not to leave so he can see you.” Clarke blushed and ducked her head.
“I’m sure Mr. Blake has more important things to do than waiting around to see me,” she mumbled, embarrassed. Wells laughed.
“You’d think so, sugar, but that man is already head over heels for you.”
“What?” Clarke exclaimed, sounding almost panicked, which worried Wells.
“Aw, sugar, don’t you worry, the boss was raised right,” he said reassuringly. “He was taught to always respect women, and men, for that matter, and to be aware of and respect their boundaries. He’d never do anything unless you showed you were interested too.”
“W-well, I’m not,” Clarke stammered. “No men for me, n-not now, not later. I’m done with men.” Wells cocked his head to the side, appraising Clarke. She blushed again and slid past him into the kitchen.
“Is there any breakfast left? I can just have some cereal if there’s not.” She was glancing around at the cabinets when Wells practically stomped in, deciding to drop the subject of Bellamy’s feelings, at least for now. He scowled at Clarke.
“Do you really think I’d let my best girl go hungry? Your breakfast is in the furthest microwave on the left. It should still be warm.” Clarke gave Wells a guilty look and walked over to the row of microwaves. She opened the door on the farthest microwave and was hit with the heavenly smell of bacon and maple syrup. Then she looked at the plate and started laughing. It was piled high with food: pancakes, bacon, hash browns, biscuits.
“Wells, you know there is no way I can eat all of this, right?”
“Hey, you are much too skinny, sugar,” Wells replied with a laugh. “We need to get some meat back on those bones.” Clarke chuckled, shaking her head, and took out the plate, setting it on the kitchen island. She didn’t even see Wells move until there was a glass of orange juice and a mug of coffee in front of her.
“Jesus, are you some kind of kitchen ninja?” Clarke asked, startled. Wells raised his hands, keeping his fingers together as he pulled back into a chopping pose. They both burst out laughing. “Seriously, though, thank you so much for all of this.” Wells just waved his hand, indicating no thanks was necessary.
“I like taking care of people, sugar. And I’ve learned the right food can make anyone smile. Now, you eat up while I finish peeling these potatoes, then you and I have a date with an unlimited credit card and all the online stores we can find!” he exclaimed excitedly.
“Wait, what?” Clarke quickly swallowed the bite of pancake in her mouth and took a big gulp of orange juice. “What credit card? What are you talking about?”
“Well, Bellamy wanted to make sure you have everything you need, so I’ve been ordered to take you on a shopping spree,” Wells replied, not even bothering to hide his glee. “Clothes, shoes, accessories, you name it, we’re shopping for it!”
“No, no, no,” said Clarke, shaking her head. “No one said anything about shopping. Besides, you’ve all already done too much in my bedroom.”
“Oh, do you like it?” he asked, sitting in front of Clarke at the island, a giant bowl of potatoes next to him. “I tried not to go too over-the-top since we hadn’t met and I didn’t know your personal style aesthetic. But after meeting you, I think I made the right choices.”
“You did, it’s absolutely beautiful,” she reassured him. “Which is why I’m so uncomfortable buying anything else. You guys have already given me so much, and I haven’t even started working!” Wells set down the potato and peeler he was using. He looked Clarke straight in the eye, a serious expression on his face that she hadn’t seen from him before.
“Sugar, I don’t know the details of what you’ve been through,” Wells stated gently. Clarke’s eyes widened and she started nervously pulling her sleeves down even lower. “I hope someday you’ll tell me, but I know you need to trust me first before you feel safe enough to open up. But you listen to this one thing: you deserve to be happy. To be surrounded by things that make you happy. To have people around you that you can trust and who make you happy. Bell wants these things for you, too.”
Clarke ran her finger around the lip of her coffee mug, not looking up. “He barely knows me,” she whispered.
“Sugar, that’s got nothing to do with it,” Wells said. “When you know, you know. And the boss knows. So you’re gonna go on this shopping spree ‘cause it’ll make Bell happy and we’re gonna do it together ‘cause that’ll make me happy. Besides, I have excellent taste, so you would be utterly lost without me.”
Clarke couldn’t help but laugh at that, breaking the tension in the room. She worked on eating all of her breakfast (and failed miserably, much to Wells’ disappointment). Then, the two of them headed to the office together, ready to shop at every online store they could find.
***
Notes:
Comments and kudos are welcome, wanted, and oh so appreciated!
Chapter 10: Porch Swing Confessions
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke’s days started taking on a routine. She never ate breakfast with the hands, preferring to wait until they went outside to work. Then she’d eat while Wells chattered about a million and one different things, always making her smile and laugh. Two times a week, Wells took the long trip into town, picking up supplies and everything Clarke had ordered that was slowly making its way to the ranch.
She hadn’t wanted to go too crazy, but she didn’t have any winter clothes with her, so she basically had to buy an entire fall/winter wardrobe. Wells wasn’t content with just that, though; he made sure Clarke had clothes for every season and occasion. The sundresses and cardigans or jean jackets were cute and Clarke actually started to enjoy wearing slightly more revealing clothes on the weekends when some of the hands would go to Billings. She quickly learned their rotating weekend schedule and found out that some of the hands would trade weekends for a future one so they could go two or three times in a row. Marcus kept track of who came and went, making sure everyone was always accounted for.
Clarke was slowly making friends among the hands. Monty was the youngest worker on the ranch, only a year or so older than Clarke, and he seemed to need the most help adjusting to ranch life. David Miller was in his late forties. When his family’s ranch went under, he immediately went to his old friend Eli Blake for a job both for himself and his son, Nathan (who refused to answer to anything except Miller). The younger Miller was also one of Bellamy’s closest friends and both he and his father seemed perfectly happy to continue working at Skyheart for as long as possible. Murphy was in his early thirties. He was a bit of a wanderer, jumping from ranch to ranch, never staying in one place for too long. This was his third time at Skyheart, but no one seemed sure if he’d actually stick around this time.
Clarke’s favorite times quickly became Friday and Saturday nights. That’s when the hands that weren’t in Billings would gather on the porch after dinner. Murphy would play the guitar, usually accompanied by Miller on the harmonica. They’d sing all sorts of songs, all different genres and all different decades.
The first three weekends, Clarke stayed inside the house, just listening. Her fourth weekend at Skyheart, she came out to the porch for two songs before scurrying back inside. Now, though, after being at Skyheart for almost four months, she would join the hands for dinner every night and on the weekends, she’d stay outside for all of the singing. She was getting more and more comfortable around the hands, especially since they all respected her boundaries and seemed to instinctively know not to push too much about her past. She started to realize that not all men were like Cage; the men on this ranch would never hurt her.
This was especially true of Bellamy Blake. At first, Clarke had tried to avoid him, giving him the tiniest of greetings, then running off to the office or kitchen. Bellamy was persistent, though, always going out of his way to talk to her, making sure she was settling into ranch life. They started spending time together, just talking, after Wells and the rest of the hands left for the night. They’d sit on one of the porch swings, staring at the stars, and talking about whatever popped into their heads.
One night, almost twelve weeks after she arrived on the ranch, she and Bellamy were telling stories about their parents.
“I think they’d be proud I’ve expanded the ranch,” Bellamy said, gently rocking the porch swing with the balls of his feet. “We’re making record profits. The ranch is more successful now than it’s ever been.”
“Is that all they wanted for you, though?” asked Clarke. “A great big ranch and lots of money?” She was curled up on one of the rocking chairs, a blanket wrapped snuggly around her shoulders. It had been spring when she arrived on the ranch but the nights were now starting to get cold, despite the days being as warm as ever. Bellamy shifted awkwardly on the porch swing. He stared out at the ranch, a small frown on his handsome face. Clarke realized she had hit on a sore subject.
“I’m sorry,” she said, involuntarily hunching her shoulders, expecting a blow that would never come from Bellamy. “You don’t have to answer that. I was being too nosy.” She started to get up out of the chair when Bellamy finally answered.
“This ranch... It’s a part of me. Part of my parents and my grandparents. Each generation poured everything they had to keep this ranch going, to keep it successful.” He turned to Clarke, seemingly needing her to understand what he was about to say. “But there was always one thing more important than the ranch. One thing that mattered more than everything else.”
Clarke felt like Bellamy’s chocolate brown eyes were holding her in place, making it impossible for her to move or even look away.
“What was more important then Skyheart?” she whispered, almost afraid to hear the answer.
“Family, angel,” replied Bellamy, staring deeply into her eyes. “Family was always more important than the ranch. My grandparents only had my Pops and my parents only had me. My momma would tell me all the time that I needed to find a partner, have a family. Finally fill this huge house with laughter and love.” He slowly ran his hand down the outside wall of the big house.
“Most people, most women, they’re not cut out for ranch life,” he continued. “They wanna be closer to cities, closer to more people than a bunch of ranch hands. It takes a real special lady to live on a ranch. The type of special lady that can turn a ranch into a home.”
Bellamy was staring intently at Clarke. Try as she might, she just couldn’t look away.
“You...”. She had to pause as her mouth had gone completely dry. “You’re looking for a wife, then?”
“I wasn’t,” Bellamy replied. “I figured I’d never find someone I felt such a strong connection with. Someone who made the ranch feel like a home again. Someone who...someone I could love.” Bellamy and Clarke stared at each other, the silence growing between them.
‘God, my heart is pounding,’ Clarke thought. ‘I’m surprised Bellamy can’t hear it. Everything he just said, I want it. I want to stay on the ranch. I want a big, happy family. I want... I want Bellamy Blake!’ She abruptly jumped to her feet, her fear winning out over her feelings. Bellamy stood as well, frowning at her in concern.
“It’s, uh, it’s pretty late,” Clarke stammered. “I’m going to go ahead and get some sleep. I need to finish working on last year’s sales receipts tomorrow. Night, Bellamy.” Clarke practically ran inside, leaving a bewildered Bellamy on the porch.
‘I thought we were getting closer. I thought she might be ready,’. He brushed back his curly hair in frustration. ‘Ah, fuck, I hope I didn’t mess this up. I’m willing to wait as long as it takes for her to come to me.’
He slowly walked inside, locking the door behind him. His whole life, the doors to the big house had never been locked. But now, with Clarke here, he wanted her to feel safe, so he locked the doors for her sake.
Bellamy and Clarke rather awkwardly interacted over the next few days; Clarke didn’t come out and sit with him on the porch at night for four days after Bellamy’s proclamation that he wanted a wife. On the fifth night, Clarke finally worked up the nerve to join him again.
‘It’s not as if he’s talking about me. A man like Bellamy, he could have any woman he wanted. Why on Earth would he go for someone so broken?’ Clarke thought sadly. The two of them started talking about everything again, except the fact that Bellamy wanted a family. He had realized he needed to wait for Clarke to come to him. He couldn’t push the issue.
Four months in, without a doubt, Clarke knew she was in love with Bellamy Blake and never wanted to leave Skyheart Ranch. Now all she had to do was slay all her demons so she could tell him how she felt. That particular endeavor might prove utterly impossible.
***
Notes:
Thoughts??? (Also, I know I took the coward’s way out by having a montage chapter instead of actually focusing on Clarke’s first four months at the ranch. In my defense, not a lot happened that couldn’t be told quickly and succinctly in one chapter instead of stretching it out into multiple chapters. Yes, we miss seeing Clarke letting her guard down and making new friends [plus the introductions of Murphy, Monty, Miller, and David Miller] and we miss watching Clarke slowly falling for Bellamy, but, plot-wise, including all of that would have unnecessarily stretched out the story when there are still multiple conflicts/relationships/resolutions/other happy moments to get to. Please forgive my laziness.)
Chapter 11: Opening Up
Chapter Text
Clarke
A few months after Clarke’s realization that she had, almost against her will and definitely against her better judgment, fallen in love with Bellamy, she was sitting at the kitchen island, watching Wells put together ingredients for pies and dance to the radio. While Wells loved all things contemporary, he had a serious soft spot for late ‘90s and early ‘00s music. Currently, Clarke was watching Wells dance to Lady Marmalade and trying not to laugh at his exaggerated movements. He was, yet again, singing horribly off-key, but that never bothered Clarke. It was just another one of his charming quirks, in her opinion.
“Sugar,” Wells said a bit breathlessly as he finished what looked like a choreographed dance routine around the kitchen, “not that I mind you hanging out in my kitchen, I actually enjoy the company, but you’re being extra weird today.”
“As opposed to every other day, where I’m just a normal level of weird?” Clarke retorted. They both ended up smirking at each other.
“So why have you brought your beautiful self into my culinary palace?” Wells asked, placing two pies into one of the ovens. Clarke bit her lower lip, fiddling with the toothpicks Wells had laid out for the pigs-in-a-blanket he was making later.
“I need some advice,” she finally said. Wells stopped dead in his tracks and slowly turned to look at Clarke.
“Advice? Like, you have a problem you need my help with? A problem you’re willing to talk to me about?” Clarke knew Wells was mostly teasing, but she had done a rather impressive job of never asking anyone on the ranch for help or discussing her life before Skyheart. (She also knew it hurt Wells, Bellamy, and even Marcus that she hadn’t confided in them yet, which she hated. She never wanted to hurt them, even when she knew it was for their own safety.)
“Don’t be a jerk. You probably know me better than anyone else here,” she said with a sigh.
“Except for Bellamy,” said Wells matter-of-factly. He didn’t phrase it as a question and Clarke didn’t bother denying it. He was right. Bellamy knew her better than anyone, even if there were still some pretty serious things about her past she hadn’t told anyone at the ranch.
“Can you take a walk with me while the pies bake?” Clarke asked slowly, feeling vulnerable. “I don’t want you to miss making dinner, but-”. Wells immediately cut her off.
“Yep, let’s go for a walk. I have pulled pork in the freezer, I’ll just get it out to thaw. Won’t take much time to add the ingredients for it in the crockpot, so yeah. Definitely time for a walk.” Clarke gave Wells a slight smile and ran to her room to grab a sweater. When she got back, he already had his neon pink puffer jacket on and was waiting by the door.
“By the lake?” he asked. No one worked around the lake, so they could talk about anything without being overheard.
“That sounds perfect,” Clarke replied. She and Wells walked outside, neither of them saying anything. Wells knew whatever she had to talk to him about was important or she would have just told him in the big house. Clarke, for her part, was terrified.
‘What if he hates me after he knows? What if he tells everyone?’ Clarke could feel herself getting more worked up, struggling to regulate her breathing. ‘I can’t lose Wells, he’s my best friend. Oh, this was a terrible idea!’ Wells saw how Clarke was struggling, so he put a comforting arm around her shoulders.
“You do know that no matter what you say, I’ll still be here, right? Nothing could make me turn on my best girl,” he said, squeezing her tight. Clarke gave a harsh laugh.
“You promise?” she asked almost pleadingly. Wells stopped walking and turned Clarke to face him.
“You are my best friend and I love you. I already know something happened to you, sugar, something that made you afraid of men. Don’t be scared to tell me whatever you feel comfortable sharing. I’ll still be here, I’ll still love you, no matter what.” Clarke’s bottom lip began to tremble, then she threw herself at Wells, burying her face on his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around his waist. He held her tightly, letting her know without words that he was there for her. With a sigh and a weak smile, Clarke finally pulled away and started walking around the lake again.
“I don’t...”. Clarke trailed off, then cleared her throat. “I don’t really want to get into everything, not right now. I promise, one day, I’ll tell you all about my past, everything that happened to me, but right now, I just... God, Wells, I just need some help.”
“Okay,” he said, nodding slowly. “Well, like I said, tell me whatever you feel comfortable talking about and I’ll try to help you.” Clarke sighed, silently staring out at the surface of the lake. The wind made small ripples float across the water, calming her.
“I’m sure you’ve already guessed, but I was with someone who... Well, it wasn’t just that he would beat the shit out of me for the smallest little things. He was also mentally and emotionally abusive. He would say things he knew would deliberately hurt me, knowing exactly what would inflict the maximum amount of pain. He’d compare me to other women and list off how they were so much better than me: prettier, more obedient, dressed better, actually knew their place. Anything he could say to bring me down, he would…and he enjoyed it. He destroyed my self-esteem and my self-respect. I started wanting him to hurt me because I thought it was what I deserved.” Clarke stopped, taking in a shaky breath. Wells rubbed circles on her back, comforting her.
“I believed everything he said about me, until the old me, the Clarke who used to laugh, and had friends, and ran around just being a teenager, was gone. I didn’t recognize who I was anymore, I just knew I wasn’t good enough. Nothing I did would ever be good enough.” Clarke paused, looking at the mountains this time and their beautiful snow caps.
“I finally realized I had to turn him in, I had to try and keep him as far away from me as possible, when he beat me so bad, I ended up in a coma for three days,” Clarke confessed, unable to look at Wells.
“Jesus,” he whispered, taking Clarke’s hand as they continued walking.
“After I woke up in the hospital, with no memory about how I got there, I finally told the police everything. I don’t know why I did this, maybe it was my subconscious way of fighting back the only way I could, but every time he hurt me, I took pictures. Cuts, bruises, other…signs of physical abuse. I had pictures of it all. It was more than enough to put him away, but...”. Clarke’s voice trailed off again and she wrapped the sides of her sweater tighter against her, for warmth, comfort, and security.
“His family, well, they’re, they’re powerful. They managed to get most of the charges dropped and all he got was probation and an order to stay 500 feet away from me. I moved out, found this small apartment far away from where we had lived, but that’s when I started seeing him everywhere. He never got too close, but it was obvious he was following me. I also started getting these threatening emails and letters, which I immediately turned over to the police, but nothing came of it.” Clarke stopped talking again, her eyes filling with tears.
“Finally, I just had enough. I tried to kill myself. My building’s super came into my apartment to fix a leaky faucet and found me on the bed, surrounded by empty pill bottles. When I woke up in the hospital again, I knew I had to get out of the city, get somewhere safe where he and his family couldn’t find me. When I saw Bellamy’s ad, I thought it was a sign, even though I don’t really believe in that sort of stuff. I applied right away and I obviously got the job. It took me a lot longer to get here than it normally would, but I needed to make sure I wasn’t being followed.” Clarke sighed and sat down on one of the benches surrounding the lake. Wells sat down beside her, silently urging her to continue.
“I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to handle it, working around a bunch of men. I figured I’d just keep to myself and everyone would just ignore me. But, surprisingly, I haven’t felt this safe since my family was alive. I never thought I would think of another place as home, but that’s what Skyheart’s become for me.” Clarke threw a rock across the lake, watching it skip three times before sinking. “Now I’m afraid I’ve ruined everything and I’ll have to leave.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up,” Wells said, confused. “Why on earth would you have to leave here? Everyone loves you!” Clarke laughed rather bitterly.
“That’s kind of the problem. I, um...”. She let out a frustrated sigh. “Oh, fuck it, I’m in love with Bellamy. And I can’t stay here, knowing he doesn’t feel the same.” There was a long pause, then Wells burst out laughing. Clarke glared at him.
“What the hell is so funny?” she demanded, feeling vulnerable, as they slowly started walking back to the big house. “I have to leave! I don’t have any other choice.” Wells was wiping tears of laughter from his face as he responded, opening the kitchen door and ushering Clarke back inside
“God, you’re a dummy,” Wells said fondly. “Bell’s been in love with you since your first day on this ranch. He can barely keep his hands to himself when you’re around, but he’d never try and pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with. Bellamy loves you, sugar. So what’re you gonna do about it?” he asked, something akin to a smug smile on his face. Clarke tried to digest this new information about Bellamy’s supposed feelings towards her.
”Well…if that’s true, if he really loves me like I love him, I suppose I’ve got to show him I’m ready to start something with him. And if he doesn’t feel the same way, then at least I tried.” Clarke was bouncing up and down, looking both scared and excited in equal measure.
“What’s the plan, sugar?” Wells asked. Clarke finally smiled.
“Do you remember those, uh, special purchases you made without my knowledge?” Clarke asked as Wells’ eyes grew big. “Well, I think it’s time I used one.” Wells started laughing.
“Oh, the boss won’t know what hit him! Go for it, sugar. Show that man that you care about him as much as he cares about you.” Clarke sighed and stood up, getting ready to walk to her room.
“I think I will show him. I’m tired of being scared, of thinking I’m not good enough. Tonight, I’ll show Bellamy exactly how I feel about him.” Wells grinned, giving Clarke a supportive hug before she snuck off to her bedroom.
***
Notes:
TW: discussions of past domestic violence and suicide attempt
I’d love to hear what you guys are thinking! A lot of information was thrown at you this chapter: some info about Clarke’s past, finally admitting her feelings for Bellamy, and the dreaded “will-they-won’t-they” cliffhanger. Let me know if you’re still enjoying the fic (or just reading it)!
Chapter 12: Take a Risk
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke skipped dinner that night, saying she had a bit of a headache. The truth was she just couldn’t deal with everyone talking, all the noise. She needed some peace and quiet, some calm, before trying to seduce the hell out of Bellamy.
‘I can do this,’ Clarke thought. ‘Right? Yes, of course I can. I mean, how hard could it be to seduce a big, muscular, handsome...kind...literal cowboy?’ Clarke took in a deep breath.
‘Nope, no, I can’t do this. This is a mistake, I’ve never seduced anyone in my life, shouldn’t I start with someone less...God-like?’ She started pacing back and forth in her bedroom, staring down at the two sets of lingerie lying on her bed.
‘I still can’t believe Wells bought these. And the other six pairs. Where is he expecting me to wear them? Okay, yes, it makes sense for tonight, but otherwise why would he-’. Clarke stopped suddenly, staring at the lingerie.
‘Wait, did Wells know? I wasn’t even in love with Bellamy when he bought these, hell, I wasn’t even sure if I liked Bellamy, so why would he... Wells said Bellamy has been in love with me since Day 1. Did he buy them, hoping Bellamy and I would get together? Jesus. That’s, like, evil genius level planning.’ Clarke sat down on the bed, staring at the lingerie sets.
‘I guess the real question now is: am I brave enough?’
***
Bellamy
Bellamy was sitting at one of the tables in the dining room, frowning. The conversations taking place around him were a static blur, nothing penetrating his mind. He barely touched his food, just moved it around his plate.
‘Wells said Clarke had a headache,’ he thought. ‘People get headaches all the time. So why the hell am I so goddamn worried? Clarke’s been getting so much better since she came here. She’s talking, laughing, making friends, hell, she doesn’t even flinch when someone reaches out to touch her. Well, most of the time.’
Bellamy had noticed that Clarke still went out of her way to avoid physical contact. She’d deliberately put space between herself and whoever she was with so there would be no reason for anyone to touch each other, even if it was just a friendly hand on the shoulder or a quick hug. The only people she seemed comfortable letting into her personal space bubble was Wells, Kane, and Bellamy. She and Wells would touch all the time, giving each other hugs, wandering around the ranch with their arms slung around each other, even holding hands.
‘I’d be jealous as hell if Wells wasn’t asexual.” Bellamy couldn’t help rolling his eyes at himself. “Shit, who am I kidding, I am jealous as hell! I want her touches, her caresses. I wanna feel her hand in mine or her head resting on my shoulder. I want-’.
Bellamy abruptly cut off that line of thought. Clarke was still healing, so whenever he started thinking about all the things he wanted to do to her, all the things he wanted them to do together, he would start reciting Bible verses.
‘Utterly ridiculous. I’m not even sure I believe in God, but I know all those verses ‘cause Momma insisted. Said, “A man’s soul is just as important as his body. You keep both healthy and strong, you’ll always be happy”. It sure worked for her and Pops, but it certainly hasn’t worked for me.’ Bellamy glanced down the tables toward Kane, who was already staring back at him. Kane seemed to take Bellamy’s silent acknowledgement as permission to come down and start dispensing wisdom.
“Everything all right, Boss?” he asked. “You haven’t eaten a thing. You’re gonna hurt Wells’ feelings.” Kane chuckled, but underneath, Bellamy could see genuine concern. He sighed, tossing his fork onto the plate, finally admitting dinner was a lost cause.
“How do you think Clarke’s doing?” Bellamy asked, not beating around the bush. “She seems happy, right?” Kane tried to hide the smile that spread across his face, but Bellamy saw it anyway.
“Stop with the grinning,” he grumbled. “I’m asking a serious question.”
“I know, Boss, I know,” Kane said, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands over his slightly round belly. “It’s just, well, watching you two kids dance around each other is mighty entertaining.”
“Yeah, maybe for you,” muttered Bellamy, glaring at the table. Kane sighed, then put his calloused hand on Bellamy’s shoulder.
“Listen to me, Bellamy Blake, ‘cause I don’t go around handing out advice everyday. That sweet girl likes you. You like her. Only problem I see is you getting in your own damn way. Ask her to do something, even if it’s just a walk around the lake. And maybe, oh, I don’t know, tell her how you feel, ‘cause there ain’t no way in hell she’s gonna make the first move.”
“Who’s moving?” Both Bellamy and Kane gave a slight jump, neither one noticing Wells going around and collecting the dirty dishes for the hands to wash.
“Jesus, Wells, how are you able to sneak up on people?” Bellamy asked. “You basically have your own running commentary about what’s happening on the ranch.”
“Honey, that is because I am the only one who is able to see beyond the literal cow shit and recognize the poetry of ranch life,” Wells replied, then frowned at Bellamy’s plate. “And why is there still food on your plate? This meal was amazing. Like all of them.” Kane chuckled, standing up to head out for the night.
“Told you not eating would hurt his feelings. Oh, and Bell? One last piece of advice: talk to her closest friend. He’ll definitely know things the rest of us don’t. Night, Wells,” Kane said, giving them a wave as he walked out the door.
“Night, Kane,” Wells yelled after him, then he turned to look back at Bellamy. He cocked his head to the side before sitting down in Kane’s abandoned chair and smiling at Bellamy.
“Sooo... What’s the matter, Boss? Girl trouble?” Wells looked particularly gleeful, which just irritated Bellamy at the moment.
“Don’t you have work to finish?” he snapped, close to losing his patience. Wells didn’t even move as he called over his shoulder.
“Monty, honey, can you come grab these plates and take them into the kitchen?” Wells turned his laser-like focus back on Bellamy, not even acknowledging the plates being picked up.
“Boss.”
“Wells.”
“Boss.”
Bellamy sighed, knowing he wasn’t escaping without some kind of explanation.
“How’s, um, how’s Clarke? She, uh, she seems to be fitting in real well.” Wells leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and sending a glare Bellamy’s way.
“Seriously? That’s the best you got?” Bellamy finally let out a gusty sigh, nodding to the hands as they left the kitchens to head to the bunkhouses. Now it was just Bellamy and Wells and the silence seemed almost deafening.
“I just wanted to make sure she was okay. That she’s got everything she needs. That she’s, uh, not planning on...”. He trailed off, feeling a fist tighten around his heart at the idea of Skyheart without Clarke.
“On leaving?” Wells asked. Bellamy shrugged awkwardly, tracing the gouges in the old tabletop with his index finger. Wells sighed. “Boss, it takes time to look this fabulous everyday and part of my regiment is my very literal beauty sleep. Now, we can go outside to some bushes and I can give you a stick so you can literally beat around them or you can just ask me what you wanna know.” Bellamy laughed in spite of himself.
“Okay, okay, point taken. Does Clarke… Does she ever talk to you about me?” Wells grinned, seeming to enjoy how uncomfortable Bellamy was.
“She talks to me about all sorts of things. You’re definitely one of them. Care to be more specific?”
“Does she...” Bellamy let out a breath. “Does she ever talk about me in a way that, um, that would make you think... I don’t know, make you think she likes me? As more than just her friend?” This time, Wells didn’t even bother trying to hide the awkward snort, then huge grin that covered his face.
“Boss, I’m not gonna tell you what Clarke and I talk about, not specifically, because she’s my best friend and I’m not gonna break her trust like that. However, generally speaking, you might want to check up on her tonight. I have a feeling you won’t regret it.”
Bellamy let out a surprised laugh as Wells stood. He paused, looking down at Bellamy.
“She’s still broken in places, Bell,” Wells said, uncharacteristically somber. “But she’s mending. She’s stronger now, after just these months at Skyheart, than she has been in years. A lot of that is ‘cause of you. Now, could a special lady like Clarke put herself back together without a man? Of course she could. She’s strong and smart and capable. She could always have figured out a way to save herself. But you’ve helped. So have I. And Kane and the boys. But you mean more to her than anyone else here. Even me. Which I am trying not to take personally, because I am clearly more amazing than you.” Bellamy laughed. “You’ll never know what might happen unless you’re willing to take a risk. And, personally, I think Clarke is worth every risk you could possibly take. Night, Bell.” Wells stood up and started walking to the kitchen door.
“Night, Wells. And thank you.” Wells turned to look back at Bellamy, sending him a dazzling smile.
“I’m always full of advice, Boss. And if my advice could help my two favorite people become even happier, why wouldn’t I impart my generous wisdom? Have a nice night...”. Wells winked and walked out, closing the door behind him. The only people left in the big house were Bellamy and Clarke.
‘Take a risk, huh?’ Bellamy thought. ‘I’d risk everything for her.’ He went around, locking the doors and whistling, unaware that a huge grin had spread across his face.
***
Notes:
Thoughts??? (Sorry for just a one chapter update, I’ve had some health issues I’m dealing with, which is making it hard to concentrate.)
Chapter 13: Broken
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Bellamy
Even after his talk with Wells, Bellamy was terrified, which was a strange feeling for him and one he didn’t like at all.
‘Take a risk, Wells said. Check on my angel, Wells said. I won’t regret it, Wells said. I swear, if this goes sideways, I am punching that man in his stupid, perfect face.’ Bellamy walked slowly down the hallway, passing his own doorway and standing in front of Clarke’s closed door.
‘Okay, okay, okay, I can do this, I’m not some idiot teenager, I’m a man, I run a successful ranch, I employ almost 60 people, I can do this.’ Bellamy just stood there, staring at the door.
‘You have to knock on the door, idiot. You’re not Superman, you don’t have X-ray vision, just knock.’ Bellamy still just stood there.
‘Why the fuck aren’t you knocking? Move your arm, make a fist, and knock! This isn’t rocket science. Hell, it’s not even science! Babies can knock. Fucking knock!’ And still, Bellamy didn’t move.
‘This. Is. Humiliating. How am I supposed to talk to her if I can’t even knock on her goddamn door? Just do it. Knock. Now. Now. Knock now.’ No knocking occurred.
‘I have got to be the biggest-’. Suddenly, Bellamy heard something in Clarke’s room that made him rush toward the door.
‘She’s crying. My angel’s crying. I have to see her. What if she’s hurt, what if she’s sick? Something’s wrong!’ Bellamy finally knocked on the door.
“Angel? Angel, are you all right?” He heard some things moving around in the room, then silence. “Angel?” Clarke finally responded through the door.
“I’m fine, Bellamy. Thank you for checking up on me. I’ll be right back to work tomorrow.” Her voice sounded hoarse and congested, like she’d been crying for a long time.
“Angel?” asked Bellamy, more afraid now than he had been only a few minutes ago. “Do you, uh, do you think you could open the door?”
“I told you, Bellamy, I’m fine. Really. You should get to bed, it’s getting late.” It wasn’t late and they both knew it. Clarke was clearly trying to get rid of him.
‘An hour ago, that would have worked. But now...’. Bellamy shook his head, not moving. “Angel, please open the door. I can hear you crying.” After a very long pause, much too long in his opinion, he heard Clarke moving toward the door.
“Really, Bellamy, it’s nothing. Just, uh, just go to bed.”
“I’m not leaving until you open the door, Angel. I’ll sleep out here in the hallway if I have to.” Bellamy heard Clarke sigh, then the lock disengaging. She opened the door a few inches, not enough to see her, but enough to talk through.
“Door’s open, so you should go to bed,” she said shortly, clearly trying to dismiss him.
“What’s going on, Angel? Can I come in?” There was another long pause, another sigh from Clarke, then he heard her walking away from the door. She left it open, though, which Bellamy took as an invitation to come in. Almost all the lights in the room were off, except the bedside lamp, which was on its lowest setting. It made the room look small and shadows were cast about the room looking rather frightening. When his eyes finally adjusted, he saw Clarke in a white, silk robe, her knees pulled up and her arms wrapped around them.
“Angel?” he asked quietly. He took a small step forward, not wanting to startle her. “What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing. I was being an idiot, that’s all.” Clarke was deliberately avoiding his gaze, so Bellamy took another small step forward.
“I don’t understand. How could you possibly be an idiot about anything? You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met.” Clarke let out a watery chuckle and glanced up.
“I might know how to balance spreadsheets and run computer programs, but... That doesn’t mean I know a damn thing about life.” She sniffed, making Bellamy frown, as he heard real, deep pain in her voice.
‘I gotta help her,’ Bellamy thought. ‘My angel’s hurting and I don’t know why. I have to fix this.’ He slowly sat down on the end of the bed, giving her as much space as he could. Clarke immediately tried to curl up into a smaller ball. He noticed the robe wasn’t very long, but she seemed to be doing everything she could to cover her legs. He stood again and grabbed a quilt off the trunk in the corner, handing it to Clarke. She looked up at him and the devastation in her eyes nearly brought him to his knees.
“Thanks,” she whispered. She wrapped herself up in the quilt until only her head was poking out. Bellamy sat back down on the bed, a little closer this time.
“Angel, please let me help you,” he pleaded. “Just tell me what’s wrong.”
“What’s wrong is I’m an idiot. I got all of these ridiculous hopes and dreams in my head and now...”. She took in a shuddering breath. “Well, now I realize none of them would ever really come true. I forgot about who I am. I forgot what I really am.” Clarke wrapped the quilt even tighter around herself, refusing to look at Bellamy.
“What you are? You’re amazing, that’s what you are. I don’t get why you’re talking like this.” Bellamy ran his hands through his hair, frustrated and more than a little worried. He’d never heard his angel sound so defeated before. She’d been sad, scared, even panicked, but never hopeless.
“You don’t understand, Bellamy,” Clarke said, sounding on the verge of tears. “I tried to reach for something, something I wanted more than anything, and then I remembered...”. Her voice trailed off, her bottom lip quivering.
“Remembered what?” he asked.
“That I’m broken!” Clarke’s shout surprised Bellamy. Her entire time at Skyheart, she’d never raised her voice and now she seemed furious. “I’m fucking broken, Bellamy! I thought I could have you. I thought I actually deserved someone as amazing as you! I thought I could make you love me the way I love you, but then I saw all of them and I realized I was being an idiot! Someone as perfect as you would never want someone as fucked up as me!” Clarke started sobbing, burying her face in the quilt on her knees. Bellamy, for his part, looked completely stunned.
“You love me?” he asked, reverence filling his voice. Clarke looked up at him in utter bemusement.
“Seriously?” she sputtered out, furiously wiping the tears off her cheeks. “After everything I said, that was the only part you heard?”
“No, no, trust me, I heard the rest just fine, even if it doesn’t make a lick of sense. But the only important thing you just said was that you loved me. You do love me, right?” Clarke was staring at Bellamy as if he had lost his mind.
“Men!” she cried out in frustration. “Jesus Christ. Yes, okay, I love you, but we’re never going to be together because-”. Clarke was abruptly cut off by Bellamy’s lips on hers. He was slow and gentle, trying not to frighten her. Clarke was just stunned.
‘Bellamy is kissing me,’ she thought, trying to wrap her brain around this fact. ‘Bellamy Blake. Is kissing. Me? This doesn’t make any sense. Although I’m sure as hell not going to stop him.’
Clarke made a small whimper in the back of her throat and pulled her arms out of the quilt to wrap them securely around Bellamy’s neck. He seemed to take this as a sign he could continue, because he leaned into Clarke, cupping her soft cheek in his rough, calloused hand and deepening their kiss.
***
Notes:
Ooooh, things are heating up! Let me know what you think!
Chapter 14: Scars
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke couldn’t quite believe she was on her bed with Bellamy Freaking Blake kissing her. She was trying to wrap her mind around it as he slowly pulled back. He stared down into her eyes with a look she had never seen before.
“God, Angel.” Bellamy rested his forehead against hers. “Hell, I’ve loved you since the minute I saw you standing in the kitchen, basically hiding behind Wells.” Clarke let out an abrupt laugh, trying to figure out what in the hell was happening.
“You love me?” she asked incredulously.
“Since the day we met.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense!” Clarke cried out, completely confused. Bellamy laughed and pulled away a little, but he still kept his hand on her cheek.
“How can it not make sense?” he asked, smiling gently at her. “You’re perfect.” Clarke’s face dropped and she turned her head, causing Bellamy’s hand to fall to the quilt.
“I’m not perfect,” Clarke said woodenly. “There isn’t a single thing about me that’s perfect.”
“What’re you talking about? You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re so sweet and kind to everyone despite how scared you still seem sometimes, and you’re goddamn gorgeous!” Bellamy couldn’t understand how Clarke couldn’t see what he saw in her. She just shook her head.
“I’m not gorgeous. You wouldn’t be saying that if you could see me.” Clarke sniffed, holding back tears, but Bellamy just shook his head in confusion.
“I don’t understand. I’m looking at you right now. I see you just fine!” Clarke huffed and jumped off the bed, leaving the quilt behind as she stood in front of him.
“I’m talking about this, Bellamy. All of this.” She dropped the robe she was wearing and Bellamy gasped. She was wearing a sheer, lacy white lingerie set with stockings and a garter belt around her trim waist. She truly did look like an angel, then, with the light behind her creating a halo. He had never seen anything more beautiful in his life.
“My god, angel... You look...you look...”.
“Hideous? Deformed? Like I should join some 1920s traveling freak show?”
“You look like an angel. My angel,” he finally said with tears in his eyes. Clarke just stared at him.
‘Is he making fun of me?’ she wondered. ‘No, I know Bellamy, he would never do that. So why isn’t he running out of here, realizing this is a huge mistake?’ Clarke glanced at the full-length mirror in the corner. Once she’d finally worked up the courage to try on one of the lingerie sets earlier that night, she had gone over to the mirror to look at herself. And that’s when she saw them.
Scars. Everywhere. Most had faded into white, almost blending into her pale skin, but there were still some that were an ugly red. Clarke had snapped. She realized her past was literally written all over her body. How could Bellamy possibly want someone who looked like her? Covered in scars that would never fully disappear, let alone all of the unseen scars she carried. The scars inside her that reminded her constantly she was useless and worthless and ugly. Scars that might never completely heal.
‘What is he seeing that I’m not?’ Clarke tried to figure out as she stared at her reflection. ‘How could he possibly love someone who looks like this?’
Bellamy was watching her expression closely and when he saw her look at herself in the mirror, seemingly unaware she was tracing a scar on her arm up and down, he understood. He stood, upset and angry. Upset that Clarke could possibly think those scars made her any less beautiful and angry at the man who had hurt her so badly, she couldn’t even fathom someone looking past them to see how utterly magnificent she was. He lightly placed his hands on Clarke’s shoulders and forced her to turn around and face him.
“You listen to me, Clarke Jones,” Bellamy said firmly, “if you think I don’t see your scars, you’re wrong. I see ‘em. But that doesn’t make you ugly, angel. Hell, they make you even more beautiful.” Clarke shook her head and looked away, trying to hide her face and the tears in her eyes, but Bellamy wasn’t having any of it. He tilted her chin up and looked her straight in the eye.
“You know what those scars tell me? That you’re a survivor. That you went through a hell most people couldn’t imagine, and instead of it turning you angry and cruel, it just turned you kind. Considerate. Empathetic. And loving. I see you, Clarke Jones. I’ve seen all of you since you’ve been here and you will always be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” He leaned down and captured Clark’s lips with his own. He kissed her slowly and gently, as if they were made for each other and had all the time in the world.
“You believe me now?” Bellamy whispered. Clarke let out a brief laugh as tears fell down her cheeks. Bellamy wiped them away with his thumbs and smiled down at her.
“Griffin,” she said quietly.
“What?”
“Griffin. Clarke Griffin. That’s my real name.” Bellamy smiled and leaned down, kissing the tip of her nose.
“Don’t worry, angel. I won’t tell anyone.” Clarke smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. “What do you want?” Bellamy whispered into her hair. Clarke glanced up, confused. “We’re going as slow or as fast as you want, angel. So what do you want?” She smiled up at Bellamy then, a real smile, lighting up the room with her happiness.
“I want you, Bell,” Clarke said. “I want you to make love to me. I want to fall asleep with your arms around me and I want to wake up with you right next to me.” Bellamy couldn’t stop the grin spreading across his face.
“Well, then, angel. That’s exactly what you’re gonna get.” He grinned and swung Clarke up into his arms, making her laugh in delight. He kissed her again before gently laying her on the bed.
‘I’m pretty sure I’m dreaming, but, god, I don’t even care,’ Clarke thought. ‘I’ll carry this dream with me for the rest of my life. And this man. This incorrigible, infuriating, beautiful man. I’ll carry him too. A perfect dream.’
***
Notes:
… Yep, definitely stopped riiight before the naughty part. Sorry. But yay Clarke! Trusting Bellamy with her actual name & finally feeling confident and comfortable enough to accept his love. And yay Bellamy for being utterly amazing and respectful. Let me know what you’re thinking & if you’re still enjoying the story (please please please)!
Chapter 15: In His Bed
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Bellamy
Bellamy held himself above Clarke, staring down at her in that ethereal, white lingerie set and was certain he was dreaming.
‘No man can be this lucky,’ he thought. ‘To capture an angel. An angel in my bed.’ Bellamy frowned all of a sudden, causing Clarke to tense beneath him. He smiled gently at her, that crooked smile that seemed reserved for her and no one else.
“Angel, we need to move,” Bellamy said. Clarke lifted herself up on her elbows, staring at him.
“Move?” she asked, confused. “What’re you talking about? Move where?” Bellamy didn’t even answer, just got off the bed and carefully picked Clarke up in his arms again. As he started walking towards the door, he leaned down to whisper in her ear.
“I’ve been dreaming of you in my bed for months now. That golden hair spread across my pillows. That gorgeous body wrapped in my sheets. My bed, angel. That’s where we’re going.” Clarke giggled and shook her head.
“If it means that much to you, cowboy, then let’s go to your room.” Bellamy grinned, kicking open the door to his bedroom, then closing it with the heel of his boot.
“Cowboy, huh?” he laughed. “I like that.”
“Good, ‘cause I’m gonna keep calling you that,” Clarke said, mimicking Bellamy’s way of talking, making him laugh again.
She glanced around Bellamy’s room. It was the first time she had ever seen it. He kept his door open during the day, but Clarke never felt right looking around his room. It felt like she was violating his space, his privacy, if she did that. Now, though, Bellamy had literally carried her into the room. It was rather bare, with only a dresser with a few pictures and some knickknacks on top. There were two side tables on either side of the bed, one with a few more pictures, a watch, and some small boxes that looked like jewelry cases. Clearly they held some significance to Bellamy. The other end table was completely empty except for a lamp, as if it was just waiting for someone to move in and use it. His bed was enormous, covered by a beautiful, handmade quilt. Bellamy laid Clarke down on the bed almost reverently.
“I’m the only person that’s ever slept in this bed,” he said, gently moving a piece of Clarke’s hair away from her face. “And you’re the only person I’ve ever wanted in here.” Clarke gave him a gentle smile and reached her arms up toward him. Bellamy braced himself on the bed, his knees on the outside of her legs and his hands planted by her head.
“I’m ready,” Clarke whispered. “I want you, Bellamy. I want all of you.” She wove her fingers through his messy hair and brought his face down to hers, kissing him slowly. The kiss grew stronger, harder, and Bellamy nipped Clarke’s lower lip, causing her to open her mouth and let his tongue explore inside. She arched her body up toward his, moaning slightly.
“Fuck, angel,” Bellamy breathed against her mouth, his lips touching hers as he spoke. “I wanted to go slow, gentle. I wanted this to be romantic.” Clarke leaned up and captured his mouth with hers again. She pressed her body firmly against Bellamy, her breasts squeezed between the two of them. He could feel how hard her nipples had become through his shirt as she slid against his torso.
“I never said I wanted slow and gentle, Bell,” Clarke said, undulating her hips beneath his. “I just want you. I want you however you want to give it to me.” Bellamy let out a shaky breath and Clarke could tell he was worried.
“You’re not going to hurt me, cowboy,” she said, cupping his cheek in her hand so he would meet her eyes. “I’m made of some pretty tough stuff and however we do this, however it happens, it’ll be romantic. It’ll be right and real and us. In here, in this room, on this bed, no one else exists except the two of us. I love you and I trust you.” Bellamy shook his head, pressing his forehead against hers.
“I don’t know what I did to earn your trust or your love, angel,” he whispered. “But I promise you, you won’t regret giving them to me. I will love you and protect you the rest of my life, if you let me.” Clarke smiled and pressed herself even closer to Bellamy. She moved one of her legs between his and started slowly rubbing her stocking covered thigh up and down between his jean covered ones.
“Maybe let’s discuss the rest of our lives later,” Clarke said, leaning up to kiss Bellamy’s neck, causing him to groan. “I’m much more focused on right now.” He let out a strained laugh and slowly slipped off the bed. He stared down at Clarke, her cheeks flushed and her lips swollen.
‘God, she should always look like this. Beautiful and wanton, spread out and waiting... On second thought, she should only ever look like this for me. Just me. No one else sees her like this. She’s mine. Only mine.’ Bellamy unbuttoned his shirt, dropping it on the floor. His abs were even more defined in the low light, the shadows and contours making it look like he was carved from marble. He kicked off his boots and unbuckled his belt, slowing down when he saw how eagerly Clarke was watching him, biting her lower lip as her eyes shone. Bellamy dragged the zipper on his jeans down, revealing a pair of boxer briefs that were barely containing his cock. He let his jeans fall slowly to the floor and just stood there in his underwear, watching Clarke watch him.
“Your turn,” Cash said, his crooked grin returning. He was fully enjoying teasing Clarke. She was breathing harder, her breasts almost spilling out of the cups holding them. She smiled slightly, then motioned with her finger, causing him to step closer.
“I’m going to be honest with you, cowboy, I’m not quite sure how I got into this thing. So I think I’m going to need your help getting out.” Bellamy gulped, making Clarke laugh. He stepped even closer to her and ran his finger up and down the shoulder strap.
“How expensive was this?” he asked offhandedly, focused more on slowly pulling down the cup holding her breast than listening to Clarke.
“No idea,” she replied, subtly arching into Bellamy’s touch. “Wells bought it without telling me.” That got Bellamy’s attention and he laughed.
“Of course he did. He can’t let anything happen on this ranch without getting involved. Well, angel, are you super attached to this gorgeous outfit?”
“Nope. And I’ve got seven other pairs in a variety of colors. Wells was quite thorough.” With that, Bellamy snapped. He grabbed both sides of the bodice and just ripped, ruining the lingerie and revealing Clarke to him. She was even more gorgeous than he had imagined. Her breasts were large on her frame, but still high and firm. Her nipples were a deep pink, already hard and just waiting for his mouth.
He slipped his fingers under the garter belt and pulled again, causing the seams to break and the garter belt and stockings to slowly fall down her long legs. All Clarke had left was a white thong which barely covered anything. When Bellamy reached for it, she shook her head.
“Together,” she said softly. She slipped her fingers into the sides of the thong, then stared at Bellamy, very deliberately looking between his face to his boxer briefs. Bellamy, finally understanding what she had meant, put his thumbs on either side of his underwear and pulled them down, his cock pulsing, the head already wet with precome. Clarke slide the thong down her legs, kicking it off once it reached her feet.
“Your move, cowboy,” she said, smirking a little. Bellamy just smiled and climbed back on the bed. Clarke spread her legs so he could settle between them. He again placed his hands on both sides of her head.
“You might wanna quit with all the ‘cowboy’ talk, angel. I’m this close to making some horrible pun about a ‘wild ride’ and ‘you better hold on tight’.” Clarke laughed, then wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and brought his head down lower.
She whispered in his ear, “Well, don’t say the puns unless you’re going to back them up. Let’s see what a real cowboy can do.” Bellamy grinned, thanking every star in the sky for bringing him this woman.
***
Notes:
Things are heating up! 🔥🔥🔥 Let me know what you’re thinking!
Chapter 16: Embracing Repercussions
Notes:
Are you supposed to give a warning about smut? (Genuine question as I’ve never posted any on here before) So, uh, smut ahead!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke still couldn’t believe she was in bed with Bellamy. It seemed like a wonderful dream she’d have to wake up from.
‘I’m not the girl that gets the happily ever after,’ Clarke thought. ‘Hell, I’m not the girl that gets the happy part. And yet... God, he’s perfect and he loves me. This can’t be real.’
She stared up at Bellamy, softly tracing his lips with her index finger. He smiled at her, slowly and sweetly, then kissed the tip of her finger.
“Ready?” he asked. She grinned up at him.
“If you don’t do something soon, I’m going to spontaneously combust. So, yes, I’m ready.” Bellamy laughed, smiling down at her. He stared into Clarke’s eyes as his hand traced down from her cheekbone to her breast. He softly cradled her breast in his large hand and tugged on her nipple, causing her to moan. He then leaned down and captured her other nipple in his mouth while still rolling and tugging her other one.
“Jesus...” Clarke whispered, arching her chest towards Bellamy and opening her legs further. He nestled even closer to her center, his cock hot and throbbing. His hand trailed down her abdomen, stopping on her mound to cup her in his hand. His mouth left her breast as he stared into her eyes again, his fingers reaching down to part her folds and slowly move up and down her core.
“Jesus, angel, you’re so wet,” Bellamy murmured, awe in his voice. His fingers zeroed in on Clarke’s clit, lightly brushing over it. She whined, trying to press harder against his hand. He just laughed and moved his fingers away from her clit, slowly circling the entrance to her body.
“Bell, stop teasing me!” Clarke lifted her hips again and one of his fingers slipped inside her, causing both of them to gasp. They didn’t look away as Bellamy began moving his finger inside her, slowly at first, then gaining speed. He added a second finger and started circling Clarke’s clit with his thumb. She was breathing harder and gripped his biceps with her hands, her nails digging into his skin, causing Bellamy to groan. They kept their eyes on each other as Clarke began to tense, her back arching and gasps escaping her mouth.
“Oh, god,” she moaned, throwing her head back against the pillow. Bellamy felt her walls tightening around his fingers and he leaned down and whispered into her ear.
“Come for me.” A whimper escaped Clarke as her entire body seemed to stop moving, then Bellamy felt her inner walls start contracting as she started trembling. He slowed down his movements, pulling his thumb off her sensitive clit. When she finally caught her breath, Clarke smiled up at him.
“Damn, cowboy. That was just...damn.” Bellamy grinned at her. He slowly withdrew his fingers from inside her, bringing them up to his mouth and slowly licking them clean. His eyes closed as a moan of pure pleasure sounded, causing Clarke to shiver and her core to reflexively clench. When he opened his eyes, he stared down at her with a look of pure lust and adoration.
“I need to be inside you.” Bellamy’s voice was strained, as if he was just barely holding himself back. Clarke responded by simply opening her legs wider, bending her knees and placing her feet flat on the bed. Bellamy groaned, feeling the heat coming from her center. He grabbed his cock, fisting it a few times before running it up and down her core, covering himself in her wetness. Clarke trembled whenever his cock passed over her clit, still sensitive from the climax he had already given her.
As Bellamy began to position himself at her entrance, Clarke suddenly grabbed his arm. “Wait. Umm...I’m not on birth control anymore. I didn’t see the point of refilling my prescription when I came out here. Do you, uh...” Katie flushed and looked away. “Condom?” Bellamy groaned, sounding pained as he let his head fall forward onto her bare shoulder.
“I’ve never needed them on the ranch,” he said into her neck. He pulled up and looked down at her, his eyes piercing. “But, uh...”
“What?” she asked, feeling nervous but also slightly hopeful about what he might be about to suggest.
“Look, if you wanna stop now, that’s totally fine, whatever happens tonight is your choice. But, well, I just mean, I wouldn’t mind... Well, you know, I wouldn’t mind just going ahead. I’ll always be here for you and I’ll always take care of you. If, you know, if...”. Bellamy trailed off, looking down at Clarke, a blush staining his cheeks. She stared up into his eyes, seeing something there she’d never seen before.
‘He actually loves me,’ Clarke thought, shocked. ‘He means it, too. If I got pregnant, he’d stick by my side. He’d be there. But is that really what I want right now?’ She bit down on her lower lip, looking away from Bellamy as she thought. ‘He’d take care of me if that happened, I know he would. But am I ready? Could I be a...a mom?’ She looked back up at Bellamy, gently resting her hand against his cheek. He seemed to subconsciously nuzzle into her touch.
“A baby’s a huge responsibility, Bell,” she said softly. “It’d tie us together forever. Is that really what you want?” Bellamy’s crooked, adorable smile appeared.
“Angel, there’s no one else in this world for me. Just you. I wanna marry you someday.” Clarke’s eyes widened in shock, causing Bellamy to laugh. “No, angel, I’m not proposing. Trust me, when I do, you’ll know it. And, right now, we don’t even know if you’d get pregnant. But if you did, well...well, I’d be so fucking happy. I want a life with you, Clarke. But I know this is really quick and I don’t wanna scare you off and this is obviously your decision and-”.
Clarke cut off his rambling by giving him a deep, passionate kiss. They lost themselves to it until Bellamy began unconsciously moving his hips, causing his cock to slide through her wet folds. They both pulled back, breathing heavily. He rested his forehead on hers.
“Okay,” Clarke murmured. Bellamy pulled back, almost certain he had misheard her.
“Okay?” he asked.
“Okay,” she replied, smiling. “You’re right, it’s really unlikely I’d get pregnant, but even if I did, I know you. You’re an honorable man, you’d keep your word. Besides...”. Clarke flushed a deep red, the color going all the way down her bare chest. “What you were saying. About the future. I want that too. With you.”
“Really?” A huge grin broke out across Bellamy’s face. “You wanna marry me?”
“Are you asking?” Clarke shot back sassily.
“No, angel, not yet. I just, I guess it’d be nice to know if you’d say yes.”
“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” Clarke grinned as Bellamy laughed.
“Well, then,” he said, gripping her around the waist and pulling her further down the bed. “I guess I’d better convince you.” Clarke giggled, smiling up at him.
“I’d be okay with that.”
“Oh, yeah?” Both Bellamy and Clarke were laughing now.
“Yeah. Convince away, cowboy,” she said. He grinned, then moved his cock to her entrance.
“Last chance to change your mind,” he warned. Clarke smiled and wrapped one leg around Bellamy’s hip, pulling him closer and opening her up further.
“I’m not changing my mind. I want this. I want you,” Clarke whispered. Bellamy leaned down, kissing her deeply as he entered her body. Clarke gasped as he slowly filled her. She grabbed onto his back, her fingernails lightly digging into his skin. Bellamy groaned and inadvertently jerked forward, completely filling her. She gasped again, wrapping her other leg around him.
Bellamy didn’t move right away, giving Clarke’s body time to adjust to his size, although he was trembling at the effort it took not to thrust inside her warm, wet sheath. When she moaned slightly and pulled him closer, using her feet to dig gently into his lower back, he pulled out, leaving just the head of his cock inside her body. He paused again, then started to move, using a slow, deliberate pace. Clarke began meeting his thrusts, moving her hips along with him.
They didn’t stay slow for long, with Clarke moaning and grinding her hips up into Bellamy. He was letting out grunts of pleasure and started moving faster and harder, eventually slamming himself in and out of her body. Their skin was slapping together, creating an obscene soundtrack against their heavy breathing and groans.
“Oh, god, yes!” Clarke cried out, grabbing onto Bellamy’s back. He was grunting, moving himself in and out of her at an almost furious pace. He could feel his balls drawing up, the need to come becoming an almost painful pressure at the base of his spine.
“I’m right there, angel.” Bellamy reached down and began rapidly rubbing her clit, causing Clarke to scream as she tightened around him, then began coming. He finally let go, pulsing into her body with a loud groan. After they both finished, Bellamy grabbed Clarke around her waist and moved her to her side so that she was facing him as he collapsed onto his side, his cock slowly sliding out of her.
They were both panting and covered in a sheen of sweat, but Bellamy just pulled Clarke closer, kissing the top of her head. He grabbed the sheet and pulled it up around them, their legs tangling together as she cuddled into his chest and he wrapped an arm tightly around her.
“I love you, angel,” Bellamy whispered into her hair. She smiled and placed a kiss on his chest, right above his pounding heart.
“I love you too,” Clarke whispered back. They both fell asleep, smiles on their faces, wrapped in each other’s arms.
***
Notes:
I have no excuse of this absolutely plotless chapter (except the whole, impromptu “sure, let’s have a baby” discussion, which is definitely important). Otherwise, nope, strictly smut. However, hopefully you enjoyed it. Please let me know!
Chapter 17: The Morning After
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Bellamy
Bellamy woke up at 4:30 as usual, but instead of getting up, grabbing a shower, and checking to see if there was anything in the office he needed to sign off on, he just lay in bed. Clarke was still curled up in his arms and he absolutely refused to move until the last possible second. He squeezed her tighter to him and nuzzled his face in her hair, smelling the lavender shampoo she used. That smell never used to mean a thing to him but now he could only ever think of Clarke when he smelled it.
‘This still doesn’t seem real. She said she loved me. We might...’. Bellamy swallowed hard, barely containing a grin. ‘We could become parents! It’s too soon, I know that, just like I know she still needs time to heal from everything before she came to the ranch. But I can’t help being excited! Hell, I’d be fucking thrilled. How could an angel fall in love with me? It just can’t be real.’ Bellamy smiled, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb up and down a number of indentations on Clarke’s upper left arm. He was watching as the room got gradually lighter when he heard her quiet comment.
“Beer bottle.” He frowned, looking down at Clarke, wondering if she was still asleep. She didn’t lift her head, but she sighed, the air causing goosebumps to form on his bare chest. “The scars. They’re from a broken beer bottle.” Bellamy abruptly stopped moving his hand. He hadn’t even realized he was running his finger over scars. He’d just wanted to feel her. Clarke sighed again when he stopped moving and tried to pull away from him, but he only let her get far enough so they could look in the other’s eyes. She gave him a sad half-smile.
“A broken beer bottle?” Bellamy asked, horrified that someone would do something so violent to his sweet angel.
“To be fair, he threw it at my head. I just managed to turn so it broke over my arm.”
“Angel...”. Clarke gave him another sad smile, then reached up and rubbed his forehead where deep wrinkles had formed from his frown.
“When I was little, I always liked scars. I thought each one was an interesting story. Now...”. She trailed off wistfully before letting out a bitter laugh and again tried to pull away from Bellamy. He still wouldn’t let her, shaking his head and leaning down to gently press his lips against hers.
“Morning, angel.”
“Morning, cowboy.” That made him smile as he remembered the previous night.
“Sticking with ‘cowboy’, huh?” Bellamy asked, smiling.
“What?” Clarke said, shrugging innocently. “It fits and it’s a hell of a lot more accurate than ‘angel’.” Bellamy growled and moved on top of her, boxing her in with his hands and legs.
“‘Angel’ is fucking perfect. Just like you. And before you start arguing, I thought we had settled that fight last night. I don’t care about your scars, angel. Not the ones on the outside or the ones you’re carrying inside that none of us can see. I don’t care about any of it. I just care about you. I love you.” Bellamy could almost see the fight leaving her as she smiled up at him.
“I love you too,” Clarke replied. He leaned down again, kissing her deeper and longer as he completely ignored their morning breath. When he finally pulled back, he gently tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.
“Whenever you’re ready, I wanna hear all your stories,” Bellamy told her. “I know they’re not gonna be pretty or fun, but your past is a part of you. I wanna know about it.” Clarke looked away, that deep sadness that always seemed to be lurking in her eyes filling them fully.
“It’ll change things,” she whispered. “You knowing.” Bellamy put his finger under her chin and moved her head back so she was facing him.
“Nothing you say is gonna change how I feel about you,” he said fiercely.
“You don’t know that,” she whispered.
“Yeah, angel, I do. If you think I haven’t thought through a million and one scenarios about what happened to you before you set foot on this ranch, you’re wrong. And none of that caused me to think about you differently. I fell in love with you because you’re you. Secrets and all. Learning them will just help fill in some of the blanks.” Clarke blinked rapidly, her eyes filling with tears.
“You’re too perfect, you know that?” she asked hoarsely. “No one’s as perfect as you. It’s just not possible.” Bellamy laughed.
“I’m not perfect, angel. Far from it. I think you just see me as a better person than I am because the last man you let close to you was a fucking monster.” Clarke let out an abrupt laugh, shaking her head.
“I feel like that’s putting it mildly,” she said.
Bellamy leaned down, rubbing his nose against hers before whispering, “Come shower with me.” He felt Clarke shiver under him and grinned. She slowly bit her lower lip, raising her eyes to meet his. Then she shook her head no. “Why not?” he asked rather indignantly.
“Because if I do, neither one of us are leaving this room today. And you have work to do. I have work I have to get to too.”
“Maybe I don’t wanna leave?” He trailed his hand up her bare side, making her shiver but still shake her head, smirking up at him slightly.
“Oh, please. Bell, you’re a workaholic who only takes breaks to eat and sleep. And even those breaks seem to annoy you! You’re always thinking about the next big project that needs to happen or the next thing you need to do to get the ranch ready for winter.”
“You could convince me to stay,” Bellamy said, his fingers around her waist. Clarke grinned and slowly stretched out under him, pushing her naked body up to meet his. He groaned and put his hands on her hips to stop them from moving.
“Maybe I could. But you’d spend the entire time thinking about all the work that needs to get done.” She slipped out from underneath him, gorgeous and naked in the early morning light. Bellamy couldn’t tear his eyes from her as she walked to the door. “Let’s revisit that shower tonight, cowboy. Right now, you need to go get ready. And you better let me leave, or everyone on the ranch is going to see me sneaking back to my room, naked.” He immediately scowled, causing a delightful peal of laughter to escape Clarke. “I’ll see you later.” She slipped out of his room, quietly closing the door behind her. Bellamy groaned and flopped back on his bed, before getting up and going into his bathroom.
‘She’s so irritating when she’s right. And like hell is anyone else seeing her naked. I’m the only one who sees her like that.” Bellamy let out a frustrated sigh that his early morning shower plans had been stymied, starting the water and staring down at his hard cock. “Great. Back to beating off in the shower. But tonight, though...tonight she’s all mine, again.”
***
An hour later, Bellamy walked into the kitchen just as Wells was setting out two huge bowls of scrambled eggs.
“Morning, Boss,” Wells said cheerfully. “Is Clarke already up?”
“I dunno,” Bellamy stammered awkwardly. “I, uh, I thought I heard her shower as I was coming out.”
‘Yep, definitely heard her shower,’ he thought grumpily. ‘And now all I can think about is her all naked and wet and slick with soap. And I could smell that damn lavender shampoo she uses, like the stuff was taunting me. Jesus, can someone die of blue balls? I just had her and I feel like I’m losing my mind.’ Bellamy noticed Wells staring at him strangely as he set out two platters, one of sausage patties and one of fried ham. Bellamy tried to distract himself by grabbing a piece of ham and was promptly smacked on the hand by Wells.
“Hey!” Bellamy cried.
“Hey yourself,” Wells replied. “You know the rules. No picking at the food with your fingers, you eat at the table like a civilized person. I swear, you boys make me wonder if I’ve accidentally stumbled into the Stone Age every day.”
“You do realize trying to teach us manners is a lost cause, don’t you, Wells?” Kane asked. He ambled into the kitchen, his signature grin on his face.
“Lost cause or not, I will go to my grave trying to teach you degenerates how to be gentlemen,” Wells retorted. “Your future wives will thank me.” Kane laughed, but Bellamy just blushed, something both Wells and Kane noticed. They exchanged a quick look, then Kane grabbed the bowls of eggs.
“I’ll just go ahead and take these on out to the degenerates.”
“You’re a beautiful man, Sir Marcus. If only all men were as helpful.” Wells gave Bellamy a pointed look, glancing down at the platters, then back up at his face, but it was obvious he wasn’t paying attention. Monty came in and gave Wells a small smile as he grabbed the platters, while Miller carefully lifted the pitchers of orange juice and water. They both looked over at Bellamy and exchanged slightly confused expressions before they went back into the dining room. Wells looked over at Bellamy, leaning his elbow on the counter and resting his cheek in his hand.
“You all right, Boss?”
“Hmm...”. Bellamy just hummed before jumping slightly, startled. “What? Sorry, Wells, I’m just a little...”. He trailed off, staring down the hallway where his and Clarke’s bedrooms were located. Wells had to turn his head away to hide the grin on his face.
“So, uh, Boss, I’m going into town later. Anything…extra you need me to pick up? Something you might need now that you didn’t have a use for before? Something, you know, I would probably find down the family planning aisle?” Bellamy flushed a dark red as Wells stared at him innocently, but he eventually shook his head.
“Nope, I’m, uh, I’m good. But maybe, maybe ask Clarke, though. She might need something. You know, if she wants it.” He cleared his throat, uncomfortable. “I’m, uh, gonna breakfast. No, wait, I’m, um, I’m gonna grab some foodfast.” Bellamy stopped talking, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “I’m just gonna go away now.”
Wells watched Bellamy head to the dining room, a big grin spreading across his face. He turned back to the kitchen, humming Queen’s Somebody to Love.
***
Notes:
Thoughts???
Chapter 18: An Ugly Surprise
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke stayed in her room until she heard the front door finally close, the voices of the hands getting quieter as they walked away from the house.
‘Okay, Wells should have left to go into town already, so I’ll just sneak into the kitchen, grab something to eat, and head to the office. If I’m lucky, I can avoid him for today. I have no idea what to say to him.’ She opened her door, hearing only silence. Heaving a great sigh of relief, she headed towards the kitchen, then jumped as she noticed Wells sitting on the counter, a huge grin on his face.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” Clarke exclaimed, clapping a hand to her chest. “Wells, you almost gave me a heart attack!”
“Well, we can’t have that,” he said, still grinning, swinging his legs back and forth. “Especially now that you and the boss have finally stopped dancing around each other and performed the horizontal mambo.” Clarke blushed, but also burst out laughing at Wells’ phrasing.
“The horizontal mambo? Seriously?”
“What?” he asked indignantly. “It’s poetic!”
“It’s ridiculous!” Clarke retorted. Wells stuck his tongue out at her, making her laugh more, and hopped down off the counter. He brought out her plate of eggs and sausage, sliding it to her across the kitchen island. She sat on one of the tall island stools while he grabbed her a glass of water.
“Thanks, Wells,” Clarke said, smiling at him. He kissed her temple, then moved around to the opposite side of the kitchen island so he could see her face. He hopped up onto one of the stools and stared at her expectantly. She did a rather impressive job of ignoring him as she finished eating, then looked up, rolling her eyes at the huge grin still covering his face.
“No,” Clarke said, standing up and bringing all her dishes to one of the sinks. She started getting ready to wash them when Wells reached around her, turning off the water, still grinning. “I’m not talking about it!” she cried out.
“Sugar, Bellamy Blake walked into the kitchen this morning looking like he was in the middle of a fantastic dream and the sun rising rudely interrupted it. That boy is always raring to go and get out on the ranch, yet this morning, he could barely leave the house. So talk.”
“Nope,” Clarke replied, smiling slightly at what Wells had said about Bellamy. “Don’t you need to go to town?”
“I sure do, but the boss thought you might need something extra picked up. He didn’t really specify what, just mumbled rather incoherently that he didn’t want anything, but you might. Now, as the only person who buys supplies for this house, I’ve already taken an educated guess about what he meant. But I’d rather just hear it from you.” Clarke blushed again, knowing exactly what Bellamy was referring to and unsure if she should ask Wells for them.
‘Yes, condoms make sense. But...’. Clarke bit her lip, thinking. ‘I don’t want them. I want to feel Bellamy, all of him. I think…I might even want a baby. Jesus, what is this place doing to me? I’m not ready for that!’ She sighed and sat back down on the stool at the kitchen island. Wells hoisted himself up onto the counter and looked at her expectantly.
“We didn’t use a condom and I’m not on birth control anymore.” Wells just raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at her. “Yes, I know it was irresponsible, and I should be telling you to pick up condoms in town. Or over the counter birth control, at least. But…honestly, I don’t really want to use condoms. Neither does Bellamy. And I’ve never reacted well to birth control, especially when I’ve been dealing with…mental health problems.”
“So you guys are...”, Wells trailed off. “You guys are ready for the consequences of unprotected horizontal mamboing?” Clarke laughed, unable to help herself.
“It’s just sex, Wells, you can go ahead and call it that.”
“Well, I happen to like my version better,” he said haughtily before smiling.
Clarke sighed, staring out a window at the ranch. There was a little bit of snow whirling across the brown fields even in October. Most of the hands were going back to their families for December and January. The ranch basically shut down and only a few people stayed on to keep taking care of the animals until it began to warm up again. Bellamy had told her they usually had a ten person crew for winter, with the hands returning in February to start getting the cattle ready to sell.
“You know I love him,” Clarke said abruptly. “And he loves me. If I get pregnant, I know Bellamy would be there the whole time.” Wells frowned, staring down at his sparkly sneakers.
“Clarke, there’s so much he doesn’t know. Hell, there’s so much none of us know. You’ve been here over six months and you’ve made amazing strides but there are still a hell of a lot of secrets that you’re keeping. Don’t you think you should tell him everything before trying to have a baby?”
“We’re not trying to get pregnant,” Clarke defended herself weakly. “We’re just not actively stopping it, either.” Wells just gave her an unimpressed look.
“That wasn’t my point,” he said gently.
“I know and I’m hoping you’ll drop it. I know I need to tell Bellamy about my past. He deserves to know. It’s just...”. Clarke sighed. “I’m scared, Wells. I’m afraid that once I tell him everything, he won’t want me anymore.” Wells jumped off the counter and sat down on the stool next to Clarke, putting a comforting arm around her as she laid her head on his shoulder.
“Sugar, there is nothing you can tell that man that’ll change how he feels about you.” Clarke let out a bitter laugh.
“Oh yeah? And what if I tell him I’m married?” Wells froze, his entire body tensing up. He removed his arm and gently turned Clarke to face him.
“The man that hurt you. He’s your husband?” Clarke just nodded, a look of absolute misery crossing her face.
“I barely got away in the first place, Wells, you know that. How could I have asked him for a divorce? He would have killed me. Hell, I keep waiting for him to find me and kill me for leaving. He’s a fucking sadist who loved hurting me and knew he could get away with it.”
“Oh, sugar,” Wells said, pulling her into a hug. He held her tightly as she fought back tears. “You know we’d all help you, right? Everyone here at Skyheart loves you and we’d do whatever it takes to protect you and get you away from that asshat.” She just shook her head, her face buried in his shoulder.
“It’s so much more complicated than that. He’s not just someone you can walk away from. His family...”. Clarke sighed, burying her face deeper into Wells’ shoulder as his arms tightened around her.
“Sugar, we can help you. We can get you a divorce, we can-”. Wells was cut off by a loud thunk, causing both he and Clarke to look over at the kitchen door. Bellamy stood there, a look of utter shock on his face.
“I-I needed a scarf, I was gonna grab it, what the hell do you mean, ‘divorce’? Are you married?” He stared at Clarke, the shock quickly giving way to absolute betrayal. The tears she had been holding in started falling down her face.
“Bellamy, I-”.
“No, answer the damn question! Are you already married?” She didn’t answer, just nodded miserably, the tears still falling down her cheeks. Bellamy stared at her and then just shook his head, walking out the door. Clarke jumped off the stool and tried to follow him, grabbing his arm before he got a few feet from the house.
“Bell, please, let me explain-”.
“Explain what?” he snapped at her. “You’re fucking married, Clarke! What the hell is there to explain?” He jerked his arm out of her grip. “I need to get back to work.” He started walking away, not even looking at her. Clarke ran after him, this time getting in front of Bellamy to stop him.
“Please, Bellamy, if you’d just listen-”.
“I don’t wanna hear a goddamn thing you have to say.” He roughly pushed past Clarke, not looking back. “Don’t you have a fucking job to do? Go do it. I just, I need to think.” He walked away from her and Clarke felt her knees giving out as a sob escaped her mouth. Wells caught her before she fell to the ground, holding her close as he brought her back to the house.
“I ruined it, I ruined it!” Clarke sobbed, her entire body shaking. Wells held on to her, rocking her back and forth.
“Hush now, sugar. Everything is gonna be okay. You go lay down, all right? Don’t worry.” Clarke just continued crying, seemingly unaware that Wells was taking her to her room. He helped her lay down and tucked a quilt in around her tightly. “Rest, sugar. I’ll take care of this.”
Wells gently moved her hair back and kissed her forehead. He moved to the doorway, looking back at the heartbroken girl still sobbing in the bed. He clenched his jaw as he softly closed Clarke’s door. He walked over to the kitchen door, grabbed his coat and marched outside. His eyes were furious and a certain cowboy should have been extremely worried, because Wells never got mad about anything. But right now, he was angrier than he could ever remember being in his life.
***
Notes:
… Okay, that was extremely mean of me. I’m hoping to get one more chapter out this weekend so you’re not left with this cliffhanger for an entire week. But let me know what you’re thinking!
Chapter 19: Confrontation
Notes:
As I mentioned on Tumblr, I’m not a dick & I couldn’t leave you all hanging after the last chapter’s cliffhanger. So enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Bellamy
Bellamy stood in the horse barn, staring out into space as he brushed his horse, Epona. There were a number of other hands still in the barn, but he was blind and deaf to all of them.
‘Married,’ Bellamy thought angrily. ‘She’s fucking married! I tell her I love her, I wanna marry her, I wanna have kids with her, and this whole time, she’s been married. I can’t believe this!’ He dropped the brush and just stood in the stall with his horse. ‘Why the hell was she so upset? She’s the one that lied, that kept this huge fucking secret! Was I just some joke to her? She’d have an affair, then run back to her husband? Married...’. He sighed, leaning his forehead on Epona‘s back. ‘Shit, I know I should talk to her, but I’m so fucking mad! How could she do this to me? How could she not tell me?’
Suddenly, a loud, angry shout echoed throughout the barn.
“Bellamy Elijah Blake!” Wells yelled, standing in the doorway. “You get your ass over here right the fuck now!” Everyone in the barn turned toward Wells in shock. None of them had ever heard him yell before. In fact, no one could recall ever seeing him angry. Yet he stood there with a look of pure rage on his face. “Bell! Now!” Wells stomped out of the barn, not even looking back to see if Bellamy was following him. Everyone in the barn turned to look at Bellamy, but he was as confused as they were.
‘Why is Wells so mad?’ Bellamy wondered as he stepped out of the stall. ‘What the hell’s going on?’ He walked out of the barn and over towards Wells, who was standing a couple hundred feet from the door. He had his arms crossed, was tapping his foot on the ground in irritation, and looked like he wanted to kill Bellamy.
“Wells, what’s wrong?” Bellamy asked. “Is this about the truck? I know it needs an oil change, but with getting all the animals ready for the winter season, I haven’t had time yet. I’ll get to it this weekend...”. He trailed off as Wells’ mouth dropped open and he stared at Bellamy in disbelief.
“Are you fucking serious?” Wells practically screeched. “What’s wrong? You’re what’s wrong, you fucking asshole!” Bellamy just stared at him, looking as if he couldn’t comprehend what Wells was saying.
“Me?” Bellamy asked. “What the hell did I do?” This time, Wells’ disbelief morphed quickly into pure rage.
“You-you-you are just the biggest idiot I’ve ever met!” He started pacing back and forth in front of Bellamy, waving his hands in irritation. “What the hell is wrong with you, Bell? Were you trying to break her heart? Hell, were you just trying to break her? Clarke came here all shattered to pieces and it’s taken her months to try and put herself back together! And you fucking ruined it! God, you should have seen her. She’s absolutely destroyed, Bellamy, and it’s not because of her abusive, asshole husband, it’s because of you!” Wells jabbed his finger into Bellamy’s chest for emphasis.
“She’s been living here for six months, utterly terrified that wife-beating asshat is gonna find her and kill her! Of course she didn’t mention him! She was too afraid someone might accidentally slip up and share where she was and then he’d be able to hunt her down. Hell, I’m surprised she ever wanted to go near a man again, after everything she’s gone through, but she opened herself up to you, she let you in, and what do you do? You go and fucking break her into pieces all over again!” Wells continued pacing, muttering under his breath. Bellamy occasionally caught multiple “idiot”, “asshole”, and “jerk face”s, but he was too busy trying to understand what Wells had said to interrupt his muttered rantings.
“Wait, so...”. Bellamy paused, trying to gather his thoughts. “You’re saying Clarke’s husband is the one that hurt her?” Wells gaped at him before throwing his arms up in the air in utter exasperation.
“Yes, you moron!” Wells shouted. “He’s the one she ran from, the one she’s hiding from. He’s the one that hurt her so bad she has nightmares most nights!”
“What?” Bellamy was completely confused. “She never told me she was having nightmares.” Wells just looked at Bellamy with utter disdain.
“Of course she didn’t tell you. Jesus, she’s been so scared that you’re gonna fire her and then she’ll have to find somewhere else to hide. And she loves it here, Bellamy. She loves Skyheart. And the only reason I know about the nightmares is because she took a nap one afternoon and woke up screaming. You live in the same goddamn house as her, how haven’t you noticed?” Wells resumed his pacing and muttering as Bellamy began to feel sick to his stomach.
‘She’s having nightmares and I didn’t even know. How is that possible?’ he thought, a cold sweat breaking out on his body. ‘And I yelled at her. God, I yelled at her for not telling me she was married. It didn’t even cross my mind that her husband could be her abuser. I mean, husbands are supposed to protect their wives, they don’t hurt them. Husbands are supposed to be that one person a wife can always rely on. Why the hell didn’t I think her husband could be the man that hurt her? Shit, what have I done?’ Bellamy started toward the house, ready to fix things, but Wells put his hand on Bellamy’s chest to stop him from leaving.
“Oh, hell no,” he said fiercely. “You are not going back there until I know you’re not gonna hurt her again.” Bellamy growled and angrily removed Wells’ hand.
“I’m gonna go apologize, Wells. I’m not gonna hurt her.” Wells just rolled his eyes and stood resolutely in front of Bellamy, refusing to budge.
“Even your apology could hurt her, asshole. What were you planning on saying, anyway? ‘Well, gosh, Clarke, sorry I yelled at you and made you cry, I just couldn’t believe your husband was the one that hurt you. My bad’,” Wells said sarcastically. He narrowed his eyes as Bellamy flushed, confirming his suspicions. “You are a fucking idiot, Bellamy Blake. Do you really think that’s gonna fly? You just walked away for her. You refused to even listen to her. She ran after you, begging you to let her explain, and you just pushed her aside like she meant nothing!”
“Then what the hell am I supposed to say, Wells?” Bellamy shouted, losing his patience. “How the fuck do I fix this? You’re right, I didn’t think her husband could have been the one that hurt her. Yes, it was stupid and naïve of me. But why the fuck would she marry someone that hurt her? She hasn’t told me a goddamn thing about her past! How the hell was I supposed to know?” Just then, Kane came riding up on his horse, frowning at Bellamy and Wells.
“What’s going on here, boys?” he asked. “I’ve got half a dozen hands telling me Wells is yelling at the boss and another few telling me the boss is yelling at Wells.” Kane swung his leg over, dismounting his horse as he stared at the two of them. Neither one seemed particularly inclined to enlighten him as to the nature of their fight. He sighed, taking his ten gallon hat off to run his hand through his hair.
“Lemme guess? Bellamy did something stupid that hurt Clarke and Wells is pissed?” Both younger men stared at Kane, shocked. He just shook his head. “Only thing that could piss Wells off is someone hurting Clarke and only thing that would piss Bell off is hurting Clarke himself. Even if you didn’t know that’s what you were doing.”
Bellamy rubbed the back off his neck sheepishly. “I might have...overreacted to some news about Clarke’s past.” Wells scoffed, rolling his eyes and turning away.
“Oh, sure, ‘overreacted’,” he muttered sarcastically. “If ‘overreacted’ means being a complete asshole and breaking Clarke’s heart.” Kane’s eyes widened and he stared at Bellamy.
“Broke her heart? What the hell did you do, Bellamy?”
“How is this my fault?” he retorted, frustrated. “Clarke’s fucking married, Marcus. She’s married and she didn’t bother to tell me! Of course I was pissed! Yeah, okay, I should have let her explain, but I was so fucking angry! I just needed to get away and think a little.” Kane let out an almost exhausted sigh, shaking his head and looking uncharacteristically tired.
“And lemme guess,” Kane said again, “it didn’t even occur to you that her husband could be the man that hurt her.” As Bellamy stared open mouthed at Kane, Wells threw his arms up in the air again.
“Thank you!” he cried. “Any normal person would know that and know not to make her cry!” Kane just shook his head again.
“Bell, the only marriage you’ve ever seen up close was your parents and they had as near a perfect marriage as anyone could ask for. So, in your limited personal experience, marriage means love, happiness, safety, and security. It means two people working together as partners, two people who respect each other. Unfortunately, not everyone has marriages like that, especially kids as young as Clarke. She probably had no idea this asshole was abusive until after got married and then she was stuck.”
“Then why not leave him?” Cash asked. “Why not get a divorce?”
“Are you really that clueless?” Wells asked. “Abusers make sure their victims are isolated, with no one to turn to for help, and Clarke had already lost her entire family. The emotional support system she normally would have leaned on was gone, and she was stuck with a man who hurt her and knew he could get away with it. And she did leave, Bellamy! She came here!”
“That still doesn’t explain why she didn’t get a divorce,” he said stubbornly. Kane clucked his tongue, calling his horse back over, and remounted.
“You want that answer, Bell, I suggest you go ask Clarke,” Kane said soberly. “And this time, actually listen to what she has to say. This isn’t about Clarke lying to you, this is about Clarke protecting herself. So admit you were wrong, you screwed up, and just listen. That’s what she needs right now. To know you’re gonna stand by her no matter what she tells you. Show her you’re willing to do that. Prove to her she can actually trust you.” Kane looked over at Wells. “You need a ride back to the big house, Wells? I know you gotta get to town.” He nodded and grabbed onto Kane’s outstretched hand, mounting the horse behind him.
“Kane’s right, Bell,” Wells said, anger still clear in his voice. “Clarke wasn’t keeping secrets to hurt you, she was keeping secrets to make sure you didn’t leave. So go show her you have no intention of abandoning her. Prove to her she’s actually safe here.” Kane and Wells rode off, leaving Bellamy standing in front of the barn with a million questions and a horribly guilty feeling.
‘I’ve gotta fix this. I’ve gotta show her I’m not like her...”. Bellamy swallowed hard. “Her husband. That she’s my first priority, no matter what.’ He started to walk back to the big house, hanging his head in shame and praying he wasn’t too late to fix things with his angel.
***
Notes:
Let me know what you’re thinking! (Please, please, please)
Chapter 20: Apologies Given
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Bellamy
When Bellamy walked into the big house, it seemed almost unnaturally quiet. There was no horrible pop music playing, no Wells singing, no sounds of Clarke working. It was just still.
‘She must be in her room,’ he thought. ‘Wells said I made her cry. Jesus, I never meant to make my angel cry. I just couldn’t, no, I just wouldn’t deal with everything. I made my issues her fault. Now I’ve gotta make it right.’ Bellamy walked slowly down the hallway, his boots echoing off the hardwood floors. When he reached Clarke’s bedroom door, it was wide open and there was no sign of her.
‘That’s strange. Maybe she’s in the office.’ Bellamy walked back towards the office and looked in. Everything was neat and tidy, Clarke’s efficient organizational skills shining through. However, there was no sign of her.
‘Where is she?’ Bellamy was starting to worry. ‘Outside, on the porch?’ He walked quickly over to the front door, opening it and glancing around. He frowned and started circling the house, nearly running when he realized Clarke wasn’t on the wraparound porch either. ‘Where the hell is she? She couldn’t...she wouldn’t leave, would she?’ He felt panic overwhelming him and raced inside, grabbing one of the ranch radios and calling Wells.
“Wells, are you on your way into town?” He didn’t respond right away and when he did, he still sounded pissed.
“Yes, Mr. Blake, I’m on my way to town,” Wells answered snarkily. “Did you need something or were you just calling to bother me?” Bellamy refused to rise to Wells’ baiting, instead focused on Clarke.
“Did you pass Clarke on your way off the ranch? Or on the road into town?” he asked, his voice strained.
“Pass Clarke... What’re you talking about? She’s not in the house?” The panicked note in Wells’ voice answered Bellamy’s question. He hadn’t seen her.
“No, I can’t find her.” He pressed his hand down over his racing heart, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm down. “I thought maybe she... I thought she might have left. But you would have passed her on your way into town.”
“I’m turning around now,” Wells said, voice clipped, but the strain was apparent.
“No, no, don’t, just...”. Bellamy cleared his throat. “Give me a little more time, okay? She’s gotta be around here somewhere. I’ll find her, Wells, I promise.” There was a long pause, then he heard Wells sigh.
“Fine. But you don’t find her in the next half hour, I’m coming back,” Wells said forcefully.
“That’s fine. Listen, do you know anywhere she might be? If she was feeling upset, is there somewhere on the ranch she might go?” Bellamy asked.
“She likes the lake. But I don’t think she’d go there, it’s too public for her right now.” There was a long pause, then Wells exclaimed, “Oh, I know! Try Aurora’s old sewing room. I’ve found her up there a couple of times. She told me it reminded her of her own mama.”
“Thanks, Wells,” Bellamy said, heading for the stairs. “I’ll let you know when I find her.”
“You better call me as soon as you find her. Oh, and Bell...”. Wells paused and cleared his throat. “Look, I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have yelled-”
“It’s fine, Wells,” Bellamy said, cutting him off. “I get why you were mad. I was an idiot. You love her and I hurt her. Frankly, I’m surprised you didn’t slug me.” Wells let out a bark of laughter, clearly surprised.
“C’mon, Boss, you know I’d never hit you. Even if you were behaving like an idiot.” Bellamy smiled as he finally reached the third floor. He never went up to these rooms anymore. Being around all his parents’ belongings, all the memories of them as a family, hurt, and he didn’t see any reason to purposefully hurt himself. It was easier just hiding them away, although he had been wondering for awhile now if that was the healthiest way to cope with his loss and grief.
Bellamy didn’t even know Clarke had been coming up here. It was yet another thing she didn’t feel comfortable telling him. As he approached the door to his momma’s sewing room, he noticed it was slightly ajar and he could hear muffled noises coming from inside. He pushed the door open and his eyes landed on Clarke. She was curled up on one of the window seats, wrapped in a blanket and hugging an old teddy bear to her chest, while tears flowed down her face.
‘Jesus,’ Bellamy thought, his heart hurting, ‘Wells is right, I’m an asshole.’ He stepped into the room, causing Clarke to jump and a flash of fear to cross her face. The fear, even more than the tears, broke Bellamy’s heart.
‘She’s afraid of me. I never wanted to hurt her and now she thinks I’m just like her ex. Here to slap her around.’ Bellamy’s chest ached as he slowly raised the radio to his mouth.
“I found her, Wells, you don’t have to worry about coming back.” Bellamy noticed Clarke’s eyes darting between his face and the open door behind him. It was obvious she was trying to figure out if she could get past him before he stopped her.
“Is she all right?” Wells’ voice crackled through the radio. Clarke glanced at the radio for the first time, seemingly surprised to hear Wells’ voice.
“Not really, if I’m being honest. But I’ll do whatever I have to do to fix this.” Bellamy said the last bit directly to Clarke, meeting her eyes. She seemed to relax just a little after hearing that.
“Well, you better make this right, or I’m purposely burning all your food for the rest of your life,” Wells said without a hint of humor. “Or I’ll serve you only green beans.” Bellamy couldn’t help but chuckle. It was a well-known fact that he hated green beans and if Wells ever made them, he refused to touch them.
“Don’t worry,” he said, still looking at Clarke. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right and not because I’m trying to avoid a green bean filled future. I was an asshole and Clarke deserves so much better than that.”
“Okay,” Wells said, still sounding hesitant. “You call me if you need me, though. Or if Clarke needs me. I should be back in a few hours.”
“I’ll call if I manage to fuck everything up again, I promise. See you soon.” Bellamy lowered the volume on the radio and set it down on one of the tables. He stared at Clarke, unsure if he should approach her or keep his distance. Finally, he just looked at her, not even trying to hide the devastation on his face.
“I’m so sorry, angel,” he said, his voice hoarse with unshed tears. “I was an idiot. I broke your trust and refused to listen to you. But I’m ready now. Anything you wanna say, I’m here. I’m listening. And I believe you.” Clarke’s face crumpled and she hid it in the old teddy bear, silent sobs racking her body. Bellamy was too overcome with guilt to stay away, so he sat on the window seat and gathered her into his arms.
“Hush, angel,” he crooned softly, rocking her back and forth. “I’m so, so sorry. I behaved like an ass. It didn’t even occur to me your husband could have been the one that hurt you. I was stupid and foolish and wrong. I’m sorry.” Clarke finally lifted her tear stained face, frowning at Bellamy.
“You thought I just had some random husband I never told you about?” she asked incredulously.
“Basically. Let me reiterate the stupid idiot part. I guess...”. He sighed deeply, gently brushing the tears off her cheeks. “I know people end up in abusive marriages, but my first instinct is to assume a marriage is happy. I thought...oh, god, I don’t know what I thought. That you lied to me about some guy you love. I guess I just never thought your husband would hurt you.” Clarke pulled back a little, staring at Bellamy in bewilderment.
“You thought I was happily married but ran away for no reason?” She felt so confused.
“Again, stupid idiot,” he said with a small smile. “I’m so sorry, angel. I didn’t listen before when you tried to tell me, but I’ll listen now. I know you don’t have to forgive me, but I hope to God you do, ‘cause I can’t imagine losing the woman I love.” Clarke jerked back even further, trying to understand what game Bellamy was playing; if he was trying to trick her into feeling comfortable and safe, then firing her to get back at her for lying. A few hours ago, she would have believed him but now… She was so hurt and confused.
“You still love me?” Clarke asked tentatively. Bellamy didn’t think it was possible for his heart to break anymore, but the sound of disbelieving hope in her voice managed to shatter him again.
“Yes, I still love you.” He leaned forward, gently kissing her on the forehead. “Of course I still love you.” This time, Bellamy leaned in and kissed her lips, softly and sweetly. When he pulled back, Clarke’s eyes had filled with tears again.
“I thought...”. Clarke sniffed. “I thought you hated me. I thought this, whatever this is between us, was over. I thought you were going to fire me.” The tears spilled over her cheeks, causing Bellamy to pull her onto his lap, hugging her fiercely.
“I will always love you, angel. You might have to be patient with me, though. I’ve never been in love before, so I’m bound to mess things up. But there is no way in hell I’m firing you. Even if you wanted to end us, you would always have a job here. But…”. Bellamy swallowed, looking incredibly vulnerable. “Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” He held Clarke close as she tried to stop crying and regulate her breathing. “Better?” he asked after about ten minutes of her shuddering in his arms. Clarke nodded her head from where she had buried it in the crook of his neck.
“I think...”. Clarke took in a shaky breath. “I think I’m ready to talk. About everything. If that’s okay.” Bellamy kissed the top of her head, holding her close to him.
“Of course,” he said gently. “If you’re ready, I’m ready.” Clarke pulled back, wiping the tears off her cheeks.
“I might need you to sit a little further away,” she said hesitantly. “Some of the stuff I have to tell you, I’m not really comfortable having someone close when I talk about it.”
“Yeah, if that’s what you need, then that’s what I’ll do.” He set her back down on the window seat and turned to get a chair. Before he could get too far, Clarke reached out and grabbed his hand.
“I’m sorry too.”
“No, angel, don’t-”. Bellamy was cut off by Clarke.
“Just, just listen, okay? I know I should have told you, but I’ve tried really hard to bury my past. I wasn’t ready to open that door and let all the ugliness from before ruin what I was building here. But you deserve the whole story. And I’m sorry I was too afraid to tell it to you until now.” Bellamy leaned down and rested his forehead against hers, both of them closing their eyes and just enjoying the intimacy of being close to the person you loved.
He eventually stepped back, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. He grabbed a rocking chair and brought it close to the window to sit in, patiently waiting for Clarke to start.
***
Notes:
Thoughts? I tried to make Bellamy’s apology as all encompassing as possible, since he acted like quite an enormous butthead. And Clarke’s ready to tell him everything! We’re slowly but surely making progress.
Chapter 21: Opening Up
Notes:
First, I want to apologize for disappearing. I’ve been having a difficult time editing this chapter (and the ones that come after it). As some of you might remember, I mentioned in my author’s note at the beginning that I originally wrote this as a way of processing some traumatic experiences from my past that I had never really dealt with before. At the time, this was an excellent coping mechanism. I didn’t realize how difficult it would be, coming back to it years later. We’ve finally reached the point where we’re hovering right between my personal life and the fictional one I’ve written for Clarke and it’s been a lot, dealing with all of these emotions I basically haven’t thought about for quite some time. (Honestly, it’s probably healthy that I don’t completely bury everything down yet again but I guess I hadn’t realized that’s exactly what I did until I started working on this.)
Second, I do want to make something very clear: everything I wrote regarding Clarke’s situation IS fiction. Sadly, I ended up putting her into much more traumatic situations than I went through just so I could process my own experiences. So please don’t feel like you need to tiptoe around the story to spare my feelings. I want everyone to continue commenting like they always would.
And third, I’m hoping I can get the next few chapters out soon(ish) and then we’ll be back to two or three chapters a week.
(Small side note: as you’ll see from this chapter, this story is obviously set a number of years before now. I considered changing the timeline to make it fit, but decided against it. Plus, the timeline in the story is also set years after my life experiences and I like having that very clear delineation between my life and this fictional story I wrote.)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke’s heart was pounding as she sat, staring at Bellamy, wrapping herself up tighter in a blanket that had been on the window seat.
‘I thought we were over. I thought he hated me. But we fixed it. We talked it out and we fixed it. This must be how healthy relationships work. Huh. This is going to be a steep learning curve for both of us. But no matter what, I’ve been keeping too many secrets, secrets that could hurt everyone here.’ She bit her lower lip, feeling more nervous than she had in months.
“I don’t really know where to start,” Clarke admitted.
“Just start at the beginning,” Bellamy said. “Tell me whatever you think I need to know.”
“Beginning, like, of my life or beginning of my marriage?” Bellamy gave Clarke a sweet smile and settled back in the rocking chair.
“Well, I wouldn’t mind knowing a little bit more about you. For instance, I have no idea where you’re actually from. The first email you sent inquiring about the job said you were living in Nashville. But when we spoke on the phone, you said Tallahassee. I figured you were from one of those places and moved to the other but I’ve never been entirely sure.” Clarke gave Bellamy a wry smile, shaking her head.
“Wow,” she said. “I really suck at this under the radar, no one knows who I really am thing. I’d make a terrible spy.” Bellamy laughed at that unexpected declaration.
“Did you wanna be a spy, angel?”
“Oh, god, no. I think we’ve just established I suck at secret identities. Hell, I’ve spent my entire time here worried I would forget the name I’m supposed to be using.”
“‘Clarke’?” he asked, sounding confused.
“No, dummy, Jones. I’ve always been Clarke.”
“Right,” he said, nodding. “You said last night your last name’s Griffin.”
“Maiden name. I never legally changed my last name after I got married, but I went by my husband’s name. He insisted on it.” Clarke blinked a few times, as if trying to forget the ways her husband had “insisted”.
“Okay, then. From the top. I’m originally from Indiana. Small factory town. My dad worked in the steel mill and my mom was a preschool teacher.” She glanced around the sewing room, a sad smile on her lips. “We had a room exactly like this in our house in Indiana. My mom loved sewing toys, costumes, hell, she would use her framed needlepoint to help teach kids letters and numbers. It’s how she taught my brother and me. We would always laugh, seeing her lugging these needlepoints under her arm so she could take them to class, leaving the empty spots on the wall until she’d bring them back.” Clarke looked around again, sighing.
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask if I could come up here. Awhile ago, I needed some old loan forms and Wells said they were probably in some of the boxes on the third floor. When I found this place, I... It reminded me so much of my mom. Sitting in here, I felt closer to her than I had in years.”
“I don’t mind that you’re up here, angel,” Bellamy said, smiling and slipping a piece of hair behind her ear. “In fact, I really like it that you feel so at home here. I hid my momma and Pops away after they died, but maybe it’s time to start bringing them back out. A little bit at a time.” Clarke smiled at that, happy she might be helping Bellamy heal from the loss of his family just as he was helping her heal.
“Uh, just curious before you go any further: how old are you? You told me 24 but neither Kane or me believed that,” he said.
“21,” Clarke said, laughing. “I’ll actually be 22 in January.”
“We’ll have to celebrate,” said Bellamy with a smile.
“Or we could not,” she replied.
“C’mon, when’s the last time you celebrated a birthday?” he teased, smiling. Clarke cleared her throat, looking uncomfortable.
“Um...when I turned 15,” she said, looking anywhere except at Bellamy. “My family was still alive then.” There was a long pause, then Bellamy sighed. He leaned forward and kissed Clarke on the forehead.
“I’m sorry, angel,” he said quietly. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“Bell, it’s not your fault,” she said, frowning at how upset he sounded. “It might be...well, it might be kind of nice to celebrate a birthday again. Plus, almost everyone will be gone, so we could do something small. You, me, Wells, Marcus, and the hands that are staying.” Clarke gave him a reassuring smile. “Can’t really do anything too crazy with only fourteen people.”
“Um,” Bellamy laughed, “You have met Wells, right? When he finds out you’re celebrating a birthday for the first time in years, he will go nuts. He might even lay off the insane Christmas decorating for insane birthday decorating.”
“Yeah...”, Clarke said apprehensively, then shrugged. “Oh well. It’ll make him happy and an overly happy Wells is honestly worth it.” Both Bellamy and Clarke laughed as she leaned back in the window seat to continue.
“The recession hit my hometown hard. Almost all of the plants in the county had to shut down and steel mill was one of them. My dad started taking on as many jobs as he could. He finally found a permanent job with one of those cable companies, repairing broken sets. He was offered a promotion after only four months, so we moved to Chicago.” Clarke paused, staring out the window.
“We were all really supportive. He’d taken the mill closing hard and we were relieved he found work again. But none of us really liked Chicago. Too many people, too many cars and buildings. We missed living in a small town, but we all knew Chicago was where a steady job for Dad was. I started taking some college classes after the move-”.
“College?” Bellamy cut in, looking confused. “You had to have been only 11 or 12 when the recession hit.”
“I was ten. We moved to Chicago when I was 12. I, um...”. Clarke blushed suddenly, looking down at her hands in embarrassment. “School was never really hard for me. I started high school when we moved, but I was also taking a few classes at Northwestern. It only took me two years to finish high school and by then I had enough college credits to enroll full time as a junior. Ended up getting my bachelor’s degree when I was 15.”
“So when you said you had an associate’s degree, that wasn’t true?” Bellamy asked. Clarke shook her head no, still staring at her hands.
“I figured it’d be easier to get hired here if I had a degree in business administration than a four year degree,” she replied.
“What was your major?” asked Bellamy.
“I double majored in psychology and English literature with a minor in computer science.” Bellamy let out an impressed whistle.
“So basically you’re a super genius?” he said with a grin, causing Clarke to laugh.
“Hardly,” she said. “I was just good in school, that’s all. No big deal.”
“I think you’re selling yourself short, angel,” he said gently. She just shook her head, the blush still staining her cheeks. “All right, so by 15, you have two degrees. What was the plan?”
“Originally, I was going to grad school to become a certified psychologist,” Clarke said. “But when my family... Well, plans changed.” Bellamy sat forward, grabbing her hand.
“You don’t need to tell me what happened to them,” he said. “I might have accidentally overheard you talking about it with Wells your first night here.”
“‘Accidentally overheard’?” Clarke asked in a teasing voice. This time it was Bellamy who started blushing.
“Hey, I just happened to be standing in the kitchen. By the open door. In the shadows. Where you couldn’t see me. Accidentally,” he said. Clarke laughed, leaning forward to give him a brief kiss.
“If that’s the story you’re going with, cowboy, I’m more than happy to believe it.” They both smiled, then Clarke sighed. “Well, if you know about my family, you know I went into the system after they died. I bounced around a few foster homes for a year before I petitioned to be legally emancipated. The court granted it pretty quickly, since I had degrees that proved I could support myself. I left Chicago as soon as possible. I just had horrible memories there and I desperately wanted to get away.” Clarke paused, tracing patterns on the window for a few seconds.
“I moved to Nashville basically on a whim. I didn’t have any plans, but I wanted to go somewhere I didn’t see echoes of my parents and my brother everywhere. My first few months there were actually really nice. I got a job at this kind of kitschy store that sold all kinds of homemade stuff: jewelry, scarves and hats, knickknacks that tourists might buy. It was peaceful. But then, well...then I met him.”
Clarke stopped talking, pulling the blanket closer around herself and squeezing her eyes shut for a few seconds. Then she sighed, opened her eyes, and prepared herself to tell Bellamy about her husband.
***
Notes:
Thoughts? Things are about to get worse before they get better…
Chapter 22: Uncomfortable Truths
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Bellamy
‘She looks so sad,’ Bellamy thought, his heart hurting. ‘But this is one thing I can’t fix for her, not yet anyway. Once I know everything, I can help her keep healing. Help her move on from that asshole.’ He leaned forward and took one of Clarke’s hands in both of his.
“It’s okay, angel. Take your time. Nothing you say is gonna change things. I’ve moved past my stupid idiot phase into supportive boyfriend phase.” Clarke’s eyebrows shot up in shock.
“Boyfriend?” she asked, sounding dumbfounded.
“If you want,” he said, blushing, but not breaking eye contact with her. “Trust me, I’m already thinking of you as my girlfriend.” Tears filled Clarke’s eyes, worrying Bellamy. “What is it, angel? Too fast?” She shook her head quickly.
“It’s perfect,” she said, smiling through her tears. “I want that, Bell. To be your girlfriend. If I ever figure out how to get a divorce without being murdered, I want even more.” He leaned forward and placed both hands on her cheeks.
“No one is killing you,” Bellamy said fiercely. “No one is laying a hand on you ever again. I promise.” Clarke smiled sadly at him and placed her hands on top of his.
“We both know you can’t promise that. Bad things happen, Bellamy. You’re not going to be able to protect me from all of them.”
“Well, I’m going to anyway,” he said stubbornly. “Someone wants to hurt you, they have to go through me.” Clarke gave a little laugh and kissed him before drawing back. He dropped his hands and settled back in the rocking chair, waiting for her to continue.
“I’d been in Nashville a few months when he came into the store. I was the only one working at the time, so of course I offered to help him. He said he wanted a birthday present for his mother and ours was the sixth store he’d been to. I thought it was so sweet that he was trying to find the perfect gift for her.” She paused, then sighed. “I learned later he’d been watching the store, watching me. He knew I was alone, no family, I didn’t really have friends either, just the people I worked with, and I wouldn’t call us close. I was the perfect target.”
Clarke shook her head, staring out the window.
“He didn’t even scare me when we met. He was just this nice, normal, charming man. I’d never really dated before, so I fell for him fast. He asked me out to dinner that first day and I was just so excited, of course I said yes. At the time, I think I so desperately wanted to connect to someone, I grabbed onto the first person who reached out to me. It was so stupid.”
“No, angel,” Bellamy interrupted. “No it wasn’t. You were lonely and looking for someone to love you. It makes sense you fell for the first person who showed you affection. You lost your family. You needed someone.” Clarke gave him a small, sad smile.
“It took me years to realize that. Realize he’d manipulated me, used my pain and loneliness to make me dependent on him.” She shook her head again, looking at her hands.
“We were really happy in the beginning. He gave me gifts for no reason, sent me flowers, wrote little notes saying how much he loved me, how perfect I was. I fell for it. I worshipped him. All that attention after being alone for so long was intoxicating. We’d only been together a few months before he asked me to marry him. I had just turned 17 and, in my mind, marriage was the perfect solution.”
She let out a bitter laugh.
“I’d finally have a family again, a new family. I wouldn’t be alone anymore. And I hadn’t even met his family yet but I was still so excited. Whenever I would ask about them, he’d always say I’d meet them at the right time. It just never seemed strange to me that he didn’t introduce me to any of them. He kept telling me they’d all love me and I just automatically believed him. So when he proposed, I said yes. I was so happy, happier than I’d been in years. And then he finally said it was time to meet his family.”
Clarke paused then, trying to gather her thoughts. She gave a big sigh and continued.
“His family was vacationing at their lake house, so he wanted us to go there so everyone could meet me and we could celebrate the engagement. I figured it was some small cabin that they used.” Clarke rolled her eyes slightly. “I couldn’t have been more wrong. When we got there, the house was enormous. Super fancy. It looked completely out of place, there in the middle of the woods, but he was clearly so proud of it. I had no idea he came from money, so I was shocked. His apartment in Nashville was nice, but not ‘my family are millionaires’ nice. When we walked in and I saw his parents, I just...I was stunned.”
“Who is he, angel?” Bellamy asked, leaning forward. “Who’s his family?” Clarke took a deep breath, as if she was bracing herself.
“His name is Cage Wallace. Youngest son of Senator Dante Wallace,” she replied. Bellamy’s jaw dropped.
“Senator Wallace, as in the guy who’s running for President? The guy everyone’s saying will get his party’s nomination, so the primaries are pointless?” Bellamy asked, dumbfounded.
“Yeah,” Clarke answered quietly. “The senior senator from Tennessee, head of half a dozen important Senate committees. One of the most powerful and influential men in Washington, the country, and, arguably, the world. And he was going to be my father-in-law.”
Bellamy sunk back in the rocking chair, rubbing his hands over his face. When he finally met Clarke’s eyes again, he looked extremely worried.
“I can’t imagine the Senator was thrilled his son wanted to marry a seventeen year old.”
“Oh, he was pissed,” Clarke said bluntly. “They all were. Cage has always been the black sheep of the Wallace family. He has three older brothers, all respectable, upstanding citizens with successful careers, lovely wives and adorable children. They all look perfect out on the campaign trail. Now, you have to remember, when I met them, it was years before the Senator announced he was running for president. But during his four senate campaigns, his entire family would help. And it always looked good when he was surrounded by his loving wife, handsome sons, and adorable grandchildren.” She took in a breath.
“Cage was a surprise baby. He’s almost ten years younger than his next oldest brother. So he’s been out campaigning for his dad since he was a kid. It’s definitely made him bitter. He always felt like the family never cared about him unless they needed him to campaign. He acted out a lot as a kid, but the Senator always covered it up. He’s good at pretending nothing is ever going wrong with his perfect family.”
“How old was Cage when you got engaged?” Bellamy asked. Clarke blushed, refusing to meet his eye.
“He was 28,” she replied.
“Jesus,” he whispered. “So an admired, respected senator was about to have his 28 year old son marry a minor?” Clarke just nodded. “How the hell did you guys even get married? I would have thought the Wallace’s would have stopped it.”
“They wanted to,” she replied. “When Cage introduced me, everyone could tell I was young, but no one asked until that night, after the kids were asleep. When I said I was 17, the entire family went nuts; yelling and screaming, everybody forbidding Cage from marrying me. But then... Well, Cage told them about me. How my family had been murdered, my college degrees, getting out of foster care, supporting myself in Nashville. Suddenly, I wasn’t a problem. I was an asset.”
“I don’t understand,” Bellamy said, frowning. “You were still 17. How does your past make you valuable to them?”
“Because I had a ‘fantastic origin story that would sell on the campaign trail’,” she said sarcastically. “Direct quote from the Senator, just so you know. I was a victim of gun violence, but I could go out and speak about how guns weren’t the problem, the criminals who had them were the real threat. I could talk about the importance of education, but say I wasn’t even using my degrees to make a living. I got myself out of foster care, proving anyone could do it if they’re motivated enough. My entire life became perfect talking points.”
“So they didn’t see you as a person, they saw you as a valuable commodity?” Bellamy said angrily. Clarke nodded.
“The worst part was that I was willing to go along with it,” she said. “I was willing to compromise my beliefs, my morals, just to be accepted into this family. I wanted their love and approval so badly, I was willing to do anything.”
“Did you?” Bellamy asked. “I mean, did you go out and do speeches?”
“No, thank god,” she replied. “The Senator’s staff ‘leaked’ our relationship to the press. They also made sure people knew what had happened in my past. Suddenly, the age difference, the fact that I was 17, it wasn’t even mentioned. All of these articles came out, talking about how Cage had ‘saved’ me, how the Wallace’s had welcomed me with open arms. Our wedding basically turned into a giant campaign fundraiser. I didn’t know anyone there and all that was expected of me was to look beautiful, grateful, and madly in love. At the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I hadn’t wanted to plan a wedding so when Mrs. Wallace and her minions took over, I was relieved. Only once did I say I wanted a small wedding, but everyone got on my case, saying how important this wedding was, how important the optics were, how important it was for the Senator. No one even mentioned that it should have been important to Cage and me. It was all about the family image. The Wallace’s were a brand and now I was a part of it.” She sighed and stared out the window. “There were so many signs something was wrong, but I ignored all of them because I wanted a family again.”
Bellamy sighed too, then stood up, walked to the window seat, and scooped Clarke up in his arms.
“Bellamy!” she cried out, surprised. He didn’t say anything, just sat down on the window seat, cradling her in his arms as she sat on his lap. She laid her head against his chest, listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. Bellamy knew the worst part was coming up, so he snuggled into her, taking just a moment to make Clarke feel safe and loved before she shared the rest.
***
Notes:
Surprise? Let me know what you’re thinking, please please please! (And, look, I know it would be really easy to draw parallels between the new backstory I’ve given Cage & Dante Wallace and a certain politician who loooves the spotlight [& dragging his many children and grandchildren into his campaigns] but, well, I don’t want to get hit with a libel or defamation lawsuit, so this is all totally fictional. Yep. Absolutely nothing similar to real life.)
Chapter 23: Horrible Truths
Notes:
See End Notes for detailed trigger warnings
This chapter is tough, y’all. Just be aware that this could be difficult to read.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke finally pulled back from Bellamy’s tight embrace, giving him a small smile. He kissed the tip of her nose and gently set her back down on the window seat, before returning to his rocking chair.
“I’ve never really talked about this before,” she said, her voice trembling a little. “Not in detail. It might be a little hard for me to get through, so could you just let me talk? I’m afraid if I stop, I won’t want to keep going.”
Bellamy nodded encouragingly. Clarke took in a deep breath, then started.
“After the wedding, we went back to Nashville. I hadn’t lived with Cage before we got married, so I was excited to redecorate the apartment, make it more ours and less just him. When I brought up going furniture shopping, Cage immediately dismissed it. He said it was ridiculous to redo an apartment that was already fully furnished. I didn’t fight him on it. I just figured he was right, why waste money on new stuff when we already have everything? The biggest change he insisted on was that I had to quit my job. I thought that was ridiculous and I told him so.” Clarke swallowed hard, looking down at her hands.
“That was the first time he hit me. I didn’t even see it coming. One second I’m talking about how much I love my job and I want to keep working, the next it felt like my cheek was on fire. I was shocked. I didn’t know what to think, what to say. I started crying and Cage pulled me into a hug, apologizing and saying he’d never do anything like that again.” She paused, taking a minute to gather her thoughts.
“I tried to forget about it. He had always been so sweet to me, so I made excuses for him. He just had a bad day or something was bothering him. Anything to convince myself he hadn’t done it on purpose, that it was an accident. I quit my job, but… Then I figured out pretty quickly he wanted a servant, not a wife: someone who cooks, cleans, is always happy, loving and obedient. I didn’t try to cause any trouble and for a few months things went well. I didn’t really like being his servant, but it made him happy, and I had realized if he was happy, I was happy.” She shook her head.
“I didn’t see it, didn’t see that he was conditioning me to need him. I have a goddamn degree in psychology and I didn’t see all the things he was doing. Making sure I was isolated, making sure he was the most important person in my life, making sure I cared more about him than anything else. After those first few months, he started criticizing me. He’d complain about meals or the state of the apartment. He loved insulting me: how I looked, how I dressed, how I was stupid and ugly and useless.”
There was a loud wooden creak, which caused Clarke to finally look at Bellamy. He was gripping the armrests of the rocking chair so hard, his knuckles were turning white. He looked furious. She gave him a little, tremulous smile and waited for his death grip on the armrests to end before she started talking again.
“I started to retreat into myself. I kept coming up with reasons for his behavior: he was stressed or tired or drunk. I had no idea how much he drank before we got married. He basically spent all his time either drinking in bars or drinking at home. And he was a mean drunk. Six months into everything, he hit me again. Then it just started getting more frequent. It started with slaps, then punches.” Clarke paused, swallowing hard. She had a stricken look on her face and couldn’t meet Bellamy’s eyes.
“Then he started with his knives. He came home one night, drunk off his ass, and started screaming that I was an embarrassment to his family. He said... He said I was a useless piece of shit and he never should have married me. Then he grabbed a knife off the counter and slashed my arm with it.”
Clarke stopped, choking up at the memory. She was unconsciously tracing a scar on her right arm. Bellamy had turned pale and wanted more than anything to go to her, to comfort her, but he knew this was when she needed physical space from people.
“I needed stitches, but Cage refused to take me to the ER, so I ended up closing it with glue and wrapping a bandage around it. And do you know what he did after he cut me? After I screamed and my blood was dripping onto the floor? He laughed. He just kept laughing, like seeing me bleed was the funniest thing in the world to him. And then he said, ‘Fuck, if I knew it was this easy to shut your mouth, I would have started with knives at the beginning.’ Then he just went to bed.”
Clarke paused, squeezing her eyes shut as if to block out the memory. Bellamy was just in shock.
“Knives became his new favorite toy,” she finally continued, her voice hoarse. “He still hit me, but he got some kind of perverse pleasure in watching me bleed. He tried to avoid my face. He knew if we ever needed to show up to a campaign rally, I needed to look presentable. But the rest of my body...”. She trailed off. “That’s when his sick games changed. He realized watching me bleed turned him on, so he’d cut me, then rape me. Whenever I tried to fight him off, he’d laugh and tell me I belonged to him and he could do whatever he wanted to me.”
Bellamy stood up suddenly, the rocking chair sliding across the wooden floors. He started pacing, a look of murderous rage on his face. Clarke wrapped herself tighter in the blanket. She wasn’t scared of Bellamy, but talking about her past was extremely difficult. She felt like she was giving him access to her deepest, darkest secrets and she wasn’t entirely comfortable with it. After a minute, he stopped and kneeled in front of her.
“Angel, I...”. His voice trailed off. “God, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” Clarke reached a hand out and cupped Bellamy’s cheek. He raised one of his hands and laid it gently over her’s.
“My past isn’t pretty, Bell,” she said gently. “I have scars on the inside, ones I’m not sure will ever fully heal. But I’m working on it. I’m working on putting myself back together. I wish I didn’t have to tell you this stuff, but you need to know.” He finally nodded, taking her hand off his cheek and kissing her palm.
“Tell me,” he said. He grabbed the rocking chair and moved it back, sitting down and watching Clarke intently.
“We’d been married a little over a year when things...changed. I’d been the dutiful daughter-in-law, showing up whenever the Wallace’s would summon us, going to campaign events or fundraisers, smiling and waving. They didn’t push for me to do any speeches, but the Senator definitely started using my life story to elicit sympathy and manipulate people. And that’s also when I realized the family knew about Cage. They were never surprised if I showed up with bruises or cuts, they’d just make sure makeup or my outfit covered everything.” Clarke tugged on one of her sleeves, seemingly unaware of what she was doing.
“Before we got married, Cage told me he worked for his family’s business. I didn’t know that meant he would occasionally campaign for his dad and then just live off of his trust fund. His family seemed to want to keep him as far away from the press as possible, nervous that he’d say something when he was drunk. I finally realized I was completely alone. The Wallace’s had no intention of helping me, of stopping Cage. They just wanted us to behave and then they’d send us away again, where we’d wait until our next summons.” She sighed.
“Then Cage gave some impromptu interview to a local reporter in Nashville. He was completely plastered and ended up complaining about his family ‘controlling’ him and how I was a stupid, useless cow he never loved. The fallout was awful. The Senator’s team tried to fix things, saying Cage had been misquoted or taken out of context or the journalist just remembered the conversation wrong. People were livid, though, so the Wallace’s wanted us as far away from Tennessee as possible. They didn’t care where we went, they just wanted us gone.” Clarke started running her finger along the bottom of the window pane.
“Cage picked Chicago for us to move to. I know he did it on purpose just to hurt me. When we were dating, I’d told him how much I hated Chicago, that I had horrible memories there, that I never wanted to go back. I wasn’t even surprised when he told the family that’s where he wanted to go. The Wallace’s arranged everything. Found a house for us, furnished the place, made sure everything was perfect so they could release a statement saying we needed privacy from the intrusive press. Even more bullshit, more lies.” She took a deep breath before continuing.
“Once Cage knew his family wasn’t close by anymore, he got...creative in the different ways he hurt me. He went to some fetish store and bought a bunch of whips and this bamboo cane that hurt almost as much as getting shot. A few months into that, he broke me. He knew it and I knew it. I stopped fighting him, I stopped trying to reason with him. I just gave up. I believed everything he said about me. How I was this useless idiot, whose only purpose was to let him hurt me. Whenever I ended up in the ER, and I was there a lot, despite how much it pissed Cage off that I had to go, I never told anyone he hurt me, no matter how many times they asked. Nurses, social workers, even the police, I just said I was clumsy.” Clarke took in a shaky breath.
“We’d travel back to Tennessee for different events, but even his family could see I wasn’t helpful to the Senator anymore. I couldn’t talk to people at fundraisers, I couldn’t smile for photos. I just stood there, my mind almost completely separate from my body. It was the only way I could handle what was happening, by disassociating. We stopped getting invited to events, which pissed off Cage and he took it out on me. I, uh…I have trouble remembering a lot of that time. It’s like there are gaps in my memory. Some things I remember with perfect clarity, but most of it is gone.”
Clarke burrowed even deeper into the blanket, trying to hold back the flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm her. She wasn’t sure she was ready to revisit the next part of her past, but Bellamy deserved to know everything. He deserved all of her.
***
Notes:
TW: graphic descriptions of physical and psychological abuse, including beatings, sexual assault, and mental abuse specifically used to tear down the character’s self-esteem
Oof. So…that was rough. Sending hugs if you need them. Please let me know how you’re feeling 💙
Chapter 24: Heartbreaking Truths
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke paused for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts.
“When I was 20, I got pregnant. I was actually excited, which was the first time I felt any emotions in a long time. I called Mrs. Wallace right away, and she was thrilled, though for different reasons. Babies are really popular accessories for politicians and if Cage and I had a baby, it would prove that interview was nonsense from a man who’d had a little too much to drink. I didn’t tell Cage straight away. I honestly had no idea how he’d react. Unfortunately, he found out from one of his brothers.” She stopped, blinking back tears.
“He was furious. Furious that I was pregnant, that I’d told his family, that I was happy about it. He...”. Clarke took in a shuddering breath, one tear slowly falling down her cheek.
“He threw me down our stairs. I broke my ankle, dislocated my shoulder, and got a hairline fracture on my jaw. And I lost the baby.” She stopped again, tears flowing down her face as she stared outside.
“Cage actually called for an ambulance that time, instead of forcing me to drive myself to the ER. When they told me I lost the baby, I completely shut down. That child had been my only ray of light and now it was gone. Both of his parents actually came to the hospital and, of course, they managed to spin the story, telling the press I slipped down the stairs and lost the Senator’s grandchild. On camera, they were devastated. Behind the scenes, they were pissed. They knew what Cage had done, but they didn’t do anything except tell him to leave me alone the next time.” Clarke pulled the blanket tighter around her, wiping the tears off her face with the edge of the blanket.
“When I heard that, that they expected me to get pregnant again, I immediately got birth control. It was the first time I’d rebelled against Cage in years and the first time I started to realize I had to get out. Every time he hurt me, I took pictures. I honestly don’t know why. Maybe there was still some part of me that was fighting back and I didn’t realize it. But I had pictures of every bruise, cut, whiplash. I started trying to figure out how to leave. I was still so scared, but I started trying to plan in my head. Trains, buses, hell, I was willing to steal a car just to get away. One night, Cage came home, holding different bus schedules and smiling. He said he knew I was trying to leave, but he’d never let me. I was his. His property. I don’t know how he found out. I was so careful. But he did. He started beating me and I fought back. He didn’t expect it. He grabbed this weird copper bust and smashed me in the head. Next thing I remembered was waking up in the hospital.” She sighed and glanced at Bellamy. She was shocked to see him crying.
“Bell?” Clarke asked tentatively. He just shook his head, then stood up, pulling her into his arms, then settling her on his lap as he sat on the window seat. She ran her fingers through his hair, confused by his reaction.
“Bellamy, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” He let out a watery chuckle.
“Am I okay?” he asked. “You just told me your husband beat you, cut you, whipped you, made you lose your baby, and you’re asking if I’m okay?”
“Well...yeah,” Clarke replied, still confused.
“You don’t remember what it’s like, do you?” he asked gently, brushing stray tears off her cheeks. “To have people that care about you? That love you?” Clarke frowned, as if the idea of someone worrying about her was a foreign concept.
“I...”. She paused. “I guess it’s just been so long. No one has really cared about me since my family died.”
“That’s not true anymore, angel,” Bellamy said fiercely. “You’re a part of this family, this ranch. We all care about you. And I love you. More than anything.” Her eyes filled with tears at his declaration of love.
“Really?” Clarke asked, almost desperately. Bellamy gave her his crooked smile and softly, sweetly kissed her.
“Yes,” he replied. “Really.” She smiled as a few tears escaped her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. She hugged him back, enjoying the feeling of safety she only ever got in his arms. Clarke and Bellamy stayed wrapped up together on the window seat for awhile. They both needed it, to feel their connection to each other, the love they shared. Finally, he sighed and pulled back.
“I should go back to my seat. I know you have more to say.”
“Not a lot more,” she said. “You can stay here. If you want, I mean.” Bellamy smiled and settled back on the window seat, holding her close.
“I guess you’re staying?” Clarke asked, smiling at him.
“Angel, I might not let you out of my arms for weeks,” he said, completely serious.
“That’ll make your work really difficult,” she said with a laugh.
“Don’t care. I’m keeping you with me where you’re safe.” She smiled at him, kissing his cheek before sighing.
“Everything else is pretty straightforward. Cage smashing that stupid bust into my head put me in a medically induced coma for three days. One of my nurses remembered me and since it had been less than a year since my last major injury, she spoke with the hospital’s social worker, who talked to the police. They put a temporary injunction on my visitors and did a full body CT scan and MRI. The doctors found evidence of multiple broken bones I didn’t go to the ER for that hadn’t healed properly and once I woke up, I gave the photographs to the police.” Clarke laid her head on Bellamy’s chest.
“They arrested Cage right away, but his parents bailed him out and got some crazy expensive lawyer. They managed to get all the charges dropped except one count of assault and I was given a restraining order against him. He started stalking me. I don’t know if he ever broke the restraining order, but everywhere I went, he’d be there. I started getting threatening notes in the mail, which I turned over to the police, but since they couldn’t prove Cage sent them, they couldn’t do anything.” She paused, taking a deep breath.
“I was scared all the time. Paranoid and anxious. I started having panic attacks, so the hospital recommended a therapist. She was helpful, but I saw Cage outside after one of my appointments and I couldn’t go back. I spoke to a number of lawyers about getting a divorce, but I didn’t have much money and it was clear the Wallace’s planned to fight me if I tried to divorce Cage. I felt utterly hopeless. I...”. She paused, hunching in on herself. Bellamy gently rubbed her back.
“I tried to kill myself. I had a bunch of pills left from the hospital, so I just took everything. My building’s super came over that night and he found me. I was unconscious, surrounded by empty pill bottles. He called the police and an ambulance. They ended up pumping my stomach. When I woke up in the hospital again, I realized I was letting Cage win. Me dying would be his ultimate victory. I started looking for jobs as far away from Chicago as I could get and I found your ad.” Clarke gave Bellamy a small smile, which he returned.
“I knew I could do all the computer stuff and I figured the Wallace’s would never look for me on a ranch in Montana. You have no idea how relieved I was when I got the job. I packed up a few things, clothes, little things that belonged to my family that weren’t in storage, and then I was nearly ready to go.”
“Nearly?” Bellamy asked. Clarke blushed, looking down.
“I still had my key to the house and I knew Cage kept money in the safe. I waited until he left for some bar one night, then snuck in and took $10,000. I’m not proud of myself. I wish I hadn’t needed any money, but I had no way of getting here without some. And I figured if things didn’t work out here, I’d still be able to go somewhere else. I bought a bus ticket to Atlanta. It’s a central hub and that makes it almost impossible to trace someone. I spent five days randomly changing buses until I got here.” She shrugged.
“And that’s basically it. I still have no idea how to get a divorce. I’ve thought about going directly to Senator Wallace and telling him I’ll bring up all the abuse in court unless they grant me a divorce. They know I have some pretty graphic pictures the family wouldn’t want becoming public. I don’t even want anything, no settlement or alimony. I just don’t want to be Cage’s wife.”
Bellamy sat there quietly for awhile, still rubbing Clarke’s back. Then he let out a long exhale and put his finger under her chin, turning her to look at him.
“Thank you,” he said quietly.
“For what?” she asked.
“Telling me everything,” he answered. “Being honest. This wasn’t easy for you, I could tell. Hell, it wasn’t easy for me to hear. There’s a very good chance that if Cage Wallace ever sets foot on this ranch, I’ll kill him.”
“Bellamy!” Clarke cried out.
“I’m sorry, angel, but that monster doesn’t deserve to keep walking this earth after everything he did. I might be able to restrain myself to just beating him to within an inch of his life, but if he’s here, that means you’re in danger, and I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you.”
“I know you’ll try and keep me safe,” she said. “Just, uh, try to avoid the killing part. Unless strictly necessary.”
He laughed, which made Clarke relax into his arms. They stayed there for quite awhile, not talking, just finding comfort in each other’s arms. Suddenly, they heard a door slam and someone running up the stairs.
“Clarke?” Wells called frantically. “Sugar, are you up here?” Clarke and Bellamy looked at each other and grinned.
“I guess quiet time is over,” he joked.
“I’m pretty sure you’re missing a lot of work, cowboy, so it’s probably a good thing Wells is here,” she said. At that moment, Wells basically threw himself into the sewing room, looking frantic with worry.
“Is everything okay?” Wells asked, trying to catch his breath. “I mean, you guys look okay, since you’re using Bell as a seat, sugar, so that seems good. Are we good? Everything good?” Clarke smiled and untangled herself from Bellamy, causing him to whine a little, making her laugh. She went to Wells and wrapped her arms around his waist and he hugged her tightly.
“Everything’s good,” she reassured him. “We talked about everything, and, well, we don’t have a clear cut solution for my asshole husband, but we’re going to figure something out.”
“Together.” Bellamy got up from the window seat and walked over to Clarke and Wells. “We’ll figure something out together. Wells, I have a few things I have to take care of, but then I’m spending the rest of the day in the house. You’ll watch over my girl?”
“Sir, yes, sir!” Wells said, giving Bellamy a mock salute. “She will not leave my sight. Except when she needs the bathroom.”
They all laughed and Bellamy threaded his fingers between Clarke’s. They walked out together, Wells jabbering about one of their distant neighbors who threw a fit because the turkey he ordered for Thanksgiving hadn’t arrived yet. Clarke just smiled, enjoying being surrounded by the people she loved.
***
Notes:
TW: descriptions of domestic abuse, including deliberately causing a miscarriage, and a past suicide attempt
Well…there’s Clarke’s backstory. Please let me know what you think (& if you’re still interested in the story and any other comments you’d like to share). Writing is always much more fun when I know my readers are actually engaging with the material, so your comments keep me motivated to continue 💙
Chapter 25: Soothing Singalongs
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
The next few weeks felt like an absolute dream to Clarke. She’d laugh and talk to Wells throughout the day while getting her work done, hang out with the hands (mostly Monty, Miller and Murphy) at dinner, and Bellamy occupied her entire night. They still spent time every night talking, but now it usually happened in bed between breaks of marathon sex. She had basically moved into his room, a situation they both loved.
There was some light teasing from the hands about Clarke and Bellamy’s new relationship, but, in truth, everyone was really happy for both of them. The hands liked seeing a happy, smiling Bellamy and they adored the new, confident Clarke. After finally telling Bellamy everything, Clarke felt like a huge weight had been lifted. She finally felt safe at Skyheart and that made it easier for her break out of her protective shell and start fully embracing her new life on the ranch. She and Bellamy had started brainstorming ways to get Clarke a divorce and they filled Wells and Marcus in on her past, since she believed the two of them deserved to know everything. Bellamy also briefed the hands on the situation, but kept it simple: Clarke’s estranged, abusive husband was looking for her and he could hurt or even kill her if she was found. The hands were loyal and would do everything they could to protect her.
At the end of October, when Clarke and Bellamy had officially been together for almost a month, they were sitting outside with the hands, listening to them sing. Bellamy was sitting on the steps, leaning against one of the support beams, with Clarke settled between his legs, leaning back against him. He had his arms wrapped around her waist as Murphy played his guitar and sang James Taylor’s Sweet Baby James.
“There is a young cowboy, he lives on the range. His horse and his cattle are his only companions.
He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons, waiting for summer, his pastures to change.
And as the moon rises he sits by his fire, thinking about women and glasses of beer.
And closing his eyes as the doggies retire, he sings out a song which is soft but it’s clear, as if maybe someone could hear...”.
As Murphy started the chorus, another voice quietly joined in.
“Goodnight, you moon light ladies,” Murphy and Clarke sang, their voices harmonizing perfectly. “Rock-a-bye sweet baby James. Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose, won’t you let me go down in my dreams? And rock-a-bye sweet baby James...”. Murphy stopped playing and looked at Clarke, a surprised but delighted smile on his face. Her eyes grew wide and a deep blush covered her cheeks as she slapped her hand over her mouth.
“I am so sorry,” she said, her words muffled by her hand. She moved it to her lap, still blushing. “I didn’t realize I was actually singing out loud. I’ll shut up now.”
“Shut up?” Wells interjected, sounding incredulous. “Sugar, your voice is amazing! Why haven’t we ever heard you sing before?”
“Wells is right, hon,” Marcus said, his eyes twinkling as he grinned. “You’ve got the voice of an angel!”
There were murmurs of agreement from all the hands as Bellamy leaned down and whispered in Clarke’s ear, “See, I knew you were an angel before everyone else.” She let out a little laugh, still blushing.
“Do you play?” Murphy asked, holding his guitar out to Clarke. After a few moments she took it, positioning it perfectly in her lap.
“I haven’t played in ages.” She ran her fingers almost reverently across the strings.
“Play something for us, sugar!” Wells cried, bouncing a little. “Please?” Everyone laughed at Wells’ exuberance, while Clarke moved her fingers across the strings, silently playing out a melody.
“I’m not sure how good I’ll be,” she admitted.
“Hon, you just sing from the heart,” Marcus said encouragingly. “We’ll all love it.”
‘What if I’m terrible?’ Clarke thought, biting her lower lip. ‘I haven’t played in years. Not since the shooting. But I have really missed it. And even if I’m terrible, these guys won’t care. Sure, they might tease me a little, but they’d never be mean.’
She turned to look at Bellamy. The love and support in his eyes and smile nearly knocked her out. Knowing he was behind her (both literally and figuratively) gave Clarke the courage to say-
“Okay. One song, though. That’s all.” The guys started cheering, making her laugh. “This is an older one, but I used to know it pretty well. Just a warning, it’s usually played on the piano, but this arrangement is for the guitar. Let’s see if I still remember how to do this.” She settled her fingers on the strings and began to play Elton John’s Your Song.
“It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside
I’m not one of those who can easily hide
I don’t have much money, but boy if I did
I’d buy a big house where we both could live
If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show
I know it’s not much, but it’s the best I can do
My gift is my song, and this one’s for you
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple, but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world
I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well, a few of the verses, well, they’ve got me quite cross
But the sun’s been quite kind while I wrote this song
It’s for people like you that keep it turned on
So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do
You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple, but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world
I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world.”
Clarke finished and there was absolute silence for a few moments, making her second guess even trying. Then everybody broke out talking and clapping at the same time.
“Angel, that was so beautiful,” Bellamy murmured, kissing the top of her head.
“Oh my goodness, sugar, that was just...”. Wells waved his hands in front of his face, blinking back tears. “Oh, I don’t even have the words!”
“Amazing, hon,” Marcus said, smiling. “Just amazing.”
“Clarke, that was so great!” exclaimed Monty as he grinned at her.
“Jesus, Clarke,” Murphy began, shaking his head, as he smirked a little. “Why the hell have I been singing this whole time? We should have been getting concerts from you!”
“Hey,” Clarke began, laughing, as she gently passed the guitar back to Murphy, “when I have a concert, I charge admission. Y’all just can’t afford me.” This led to more laughter and compliments. Clarke’s song ended up being the last of the evening, with the hands still talking and laughing as they walked to the bunkhouses. Wells and Marcus stayed behind with Bellamy and Clarke.
“Sugar, that was amazing!” Wells grabbed Clarke out of Bellamy’s arms, giving her a big hug. Bellamy scowled at losing her, making Marcus laugh.
“I think you need to get this little lady a guitar, Boss,” Marcus said. “She can’t keep borrowing Murphy’s, since we’re never sure how long he’s gonna stick around.”
“All I’ve gotten is he’s staying through the off-season,” said Bellamy with a shrug. “Wouldn’t promise to stay on longer.” Wells finally let Clarke go and Bellamy immediately grabbed her back, holding her close to his side, making everyone laugh as Clarke rolled her eyes and grinned.
“All right,” Marcus said, getting out of one of the rocking chairs on the porch. “Better hit the hay, got a lot to do tomorrow.”
“What’s tomorrow?” asked Clarke.
“Branding the calves that are finally old enough,” he answered. “We wanna get it done before the hands leave for the winter.”
“And I’m sorry I asked,” Clarke said with a slight grimace. “Please don’t tell me any more about sticking a burning iron onto a baby cow.” Wells and Marcus laughed as they said their good nights, Bellamy and Clarke waving them off before walking inside and Bellamy locking the front door.
“You have a beautiful singing voice, angel,” he said as they took off their coats and hung them by the front door. “Do you want a guitar?” Clarke shrugged.
“It was nice playing again,” she admitted, “but I don’t want to put you out. You’ve already gotten me so many things. Besides, I was always much better on the piano.”
“You want a piano?” asked Bellamy seriously.
“No!” Clarke replied, laughing and bumping him with her shoulder. “There is no need to go out purchasing musical instruments!” He just smiled and grabbed her hand, leading her to the bedroom.
“I dunno, angel,” Bellamy said, grinning, “It might be kinda nice to still have little singalongs during the winter. Murphy could play the guitar, you could play the piano. I could probably get a triangle for Wells.” That made Clarke burst out laughing.
“I’m not sure you should be encouraging him,” she warned. “He already asked me if I could play Nicki Minaj on the guitar, and, if not, where he could find Lady Gaga sheet music.”
“Oh, good lord,” Bellamy mumbled, sounding genuinely horrified. “All right, no triangle for Wells. But I can-”. Clarke cut him off by grabbing the front of his shirt, pulling him toward her, and fiercely kissing him. After a few moments, she pulled back just a little so he could still feel her breath on his wet lips.
“Do you still want to talk about music?” she whispered, kissing down from the corner of his mouth to his jawline.
“No, ma’am,” Bellamy said breathlessly. “I don’t even wanna hear any music ever again.”
Clarke laughed as he grabbed her, lifting her and gently tossing her onto the bed, where she bounced a few times. He smiled and unbuttoned his shirt, dropping it on the floor as he kicked his boots off. Clarke pulled her shirt off and shimmied out of her jeans, leaving her in just her bra and panties, as Bellamy slowly climbed over her, stopping every few inches to kiss her skin. Once they were face to face, he smiled down at her lovingly.
“What’d you want, angel?” Clarke shivered at the look in Bellamy’s eyes.
‘No one has ever looked at me like he does,’ she thought, staring up at him. ‘Like I’m his entire universe, and even if he lost everything, he’d still be happy, ‘cause I was still here.’ She reached down, slowly undoing Bellamy’s belt and unzipping his jeans.
“You,” she finally replied. “I just want you. Forever.” He gave her his sweet, crooked smile.
“Then that’s what you’ll get,” he said. “Me. Forever.” He captured her lips with his own, their kiss slowly deepening, becoming more passionate. The night progressed and for Clarke and Bellamy, they were the only two people in the world.
***
Notes:
Well, after the utter heaviness of the last couple of chapters, I just wanted a soothing, relaxing moment on the ranch. Hopefully I succeeded. Let me know if you’re still reading (& enjoying things) 💙
Chapter 26: Pillow Talk
Chapter Text
Clarke
November arrived cold and grey, with a bitterly cold wind blowing across the ranch. The hands would come to dinner every night with chapped hands and red, windburned cheeks. Wells was making hot meals everyday and had cider ready whenever any hand stumbled inside for a quick break. Clarke finally understood why the ranch stopped for December and January.
‘I knew it got cold,’ she thought one morning, watching Murphy and Miller bundling up to head back outside. ‘But I had no idea how harsh the weather could get outside. These guys are lucky for that two month break.’
Wells had already started elaborate Thanksgiving plans. Bellamy had told Clarke that Wells loved the holidays, and since Thanksgiving was the major holiday everyone on the ranch celebrated together, he would always go all out.
“He can get a little crazy,” Bellamy said, snuggling up in bed next to Clarke.
‘I love this,’ she thought with a happy sigh. ‘No pressure, no worries, just talking about whatever pops into our heads.’
“Yeah,” Clarke finally said, “I understand the crazy. I offered to help in the kitchen and I swear Wells almost incinerated me with his glare.” Bellamy laughed, pulling her closer so she was basically draped on top of him.
“He’s very fussy about who he allows in his kitchen,” Bellamy said with a smile. “Momma was the only one he would ever cook with.”
“Were they close?” Clarke asked. Bellamy still didn’t talk a lot about his parents, but whenever he brought them up, it always made her smile. His adoration of them was clear in his voice.
“Oh, Wells loved Momma and Momma adored Wells. When she found out he could cook, she put him straight to work. Momma had early arthritis in her hands, so she was grateful for the help.”
“I’m sure Wells was grateful for the work,” Clarke said. “He always talks about your parents like they were the most wonderful people to walk the earth.” Bellamy laughed.
“Well, you know Wells didn’t have a real home until he came to Skyheart.” Bellamy started playing with Clarke’s long hair as he talked. “When he realized he could be himself here, no judgements or ridicule, he fell in love with the ranch.”
“That I understand perfectly,” she said, lifting her head and putting a hand on his chest. She rested her chin on top of her hand so she could see Bellamy’s face. He smiled at her, twirling pieces of her hair between his fingers. “You know, all this time I’ve never asked what it means. Skyheart. Where’d the name come from?” Bellamy grinned.
“My grandparents had been ranchers in Texas, but they weren’t doing so well. Some of their friends had moved to Montana and my grandparents decided to follow them. You know Kane’s cabin?” Clarke nodded yes. “That’s the original house for this ranch. My grandpa built it with some help from his friends and he and my grandma bought some cattle. They did really well the first two years, enough that they could expand the ranch. One day, I guess some hand commented that it was strange the ranch didn’t have a name. He said every time he went to town, he could never say, ‘I work on so-and-so ranch’, since it didn’t have a name. Grandpa thought about it and he settled on Skyheart.”
“Why Skyheart?” asked Clarke.
“I guess my grandpa used to say my grandma had ‘a heart as big as the sky’,” he replied. “I never really knew them. Cancer got my grandma a few years after I was born and pneumonia got my grandpa a few months after that.”
“That must have been so hard on your dad,” Clarke said sadly.
“It was,” Bellamy concurred. “He leaned a lot on my momma and he set about expanding the ranch more and building this big ol’ house. He and Momma wanted a mess of kids, but they only got me. That’s why Momma used to hound me about finding a woman, someone who could help me run this place and fill the house to the rafters with little Blakes.” He looked at Clarke and winked, causing her to laugh.
“Kids come when they’re good and ready, cowboy,” she said primly. “There’s nothing we can do to rush things and right now, I like our little honeymoon period. I know we’re being irresponsible and not…actively avoiding pregnancy, but we’re not trying either. It’ll happen whenever it’s supposed to happen.” Bellamy gave her a slow smile, then grabbed onto her waist, sitting her on his lap, as he came up to kiss her.
“Wanna practice?” Bellamy whispered, causing goosebumps to form on Clarke’s arms. He started kissing her neck, working his way down. When his mouth latched onto one of her nipples, she threw her head back and moaned at the pleasure.
“God, I love the sounds you make, angel,” Bellamy murmured, his hot breath causing her wet nipple to tighten even further. Clarke started gently moving her hips, feeling Bellamy’s cock growing under her ass. She wrapped her arms around his neck and lifted herself up, while he held his cock steady. He moved it back and forth through her folds, bumping her clit, causing her to moan again.
“You’re always so wet,” he muttered, sounding almost awed.
“Only for you,” Clarke gasped out. “Just you.” Bellamy supported her back with one hand, while positioning his cock with the other. She slowly slid down onto his long, hard length, gasping at the pleasurable stretching. Bellamy gritted his teeth over how tight she was.
“Nothing has ever felt this good,” he breathed out, locking his lips with Clarke’s. Their kiss grew passionate as she moved herself up and down, bringing both of them closer to release. He broke the kiss and laid back down on the bed, staring up at his angel. Her eyes were closed, her head thrown back, causing her long hair to tickle the top of his thighs. He gripped her hips with his hands, guiding her into a faster rhythm.
“Jesus, Bell, that’s perfect!” Clarke cried, moving faster and landing harder on his cock.
“Just like that, angel,” he grunted, “just like that.” Bellamy started thrusting up as Clarke moved down, causing her to cry out as he went even deeper inside her. She opened her eyes and looked at him, both of them gasping as their rhythm became erratic, both chasing their climaxes. She and Bellamy kept their eyes locked together, staring at each other. He suddenly sat back up, pulling Clarke closer to him and hammering upward, causing a brief scream to leave her lips.
“Still...good...?” He could barely speak at this point.
“Yes, yes, yes!” Clarke repeated, getting louder, then clenching her inner walls around his cock, causing him to groan and release inside her. They both kept moving, slowly now, still not breaking eye contact.
“I love you,” Clarke said. Bellamy smiled his crooked, beautiful smile.
“I love you, angel. Forever,” he said. They finally stopped moving and he collapsed back down on the bed, pulling her with him, refusing to withdraw from her. They both were breathing hard and as Clarke laid her head on Bellamy’s chest, she could hear how fast his heart was beating.
“Are you going to let me move so we can sleep?” she asked. She felt Bellamy’s chuckle rather than heard it, the noise moving through his chest.
“I’m perfectly comfortable sleeping like this,” he replied. Clarke laughed, shaking her head and wrapping her arms around Bellamy’s shoulders. He wrapped one arm around her waist, the other around her shoulders so his hand could gently cup the back of her head.
“Night, angel.”
“Night, cowboy.”
They both drifted off, tangled up with each other, blissfully happy and satisfied.
***
Notes:
Let me know what you’re thinking, please please please! 💙
Chapter 27: Holiday Decorations
Notes:
I’m so sorry for disappearing. I promise, I’m definitely finishing this story, but the last few weeks were rough. A relative died, another was placed in hospice, and my mental health has utterly tanked, making it hard to concentrate. I’m hoping to get back into a normal update schedule, but due to my brain malfunctioning, I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep. But here’s 3 new chapters!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
The week of Thanksgiving was absolute madness, thanks to Wells’ OCD that everything had to be perfect. He went into town basically everyday, afraid he had forgotten something they would need to have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Clarke kept volunteering to help and Wells eventually caved.
“Okay,” he stated bluntly, “you are not getting anywhere near my kitchen.”
“Then-“. Wells quickly cut off Clarke.
“No, no, no, no talking, arguing, anything. The kitchen is off-limits. However, Aurora had a bunch of Thanksgiving decorations. All these beautiful cornucopias, fancy decorated little pumpkins. She even had this First Thanksgiving ceramic set, with pilgrims and Native Americans. It’s small, but so adorable. Bell hasn’t let me use any of the decorations for years, but I think he’ll be happy to see them this year.”
“He does seem more comfortable talking about his parents,” Clarke said, blushing and smiling. “He even mentioned starting to furnish and decorate the rooms again during the break. I have no idea how someone decorates a three-story house, but he seems excited about it.”
“Well, of course he is, sugar,” Wells said, smiling, as he ran around the kitchen. “You’ve made this place a home again, not just a house people use to eat and then Bellamy uses to sleep. You’ve brought life back to the ranch.” Clarke’s blush darkened as she shook her head and stared at the floor.
“I haven’t don’t anything, Wells. I’ve just... Well, I’ve just been here.” Wells smiled, lifting her chin gently so she would look at him.
“And you just being here is exactly what we needed,” he said. “It takes someone real special to bring a ranch together, make it a home. And you’ve done it without any effort at all. That’s something to be proud of, sugar.”
“Bellamy said something like that to me months ago,” said Clarke thoughtfully. “How most women don’t like living so far from ‘civilization’, as he put it. Hell, I can’t imagine living anywhere else after being here.” Wells gave her a brilliant smile and skipped around the counter, giving her a big hug.
“I’m glad you like it here, sugar, ‘cause we have no intention of letting you go.” Clarke laughed, squeezing Wells for a moment before they broke apart.
“All right,” she said, “Thanksgiving decorations. Where am I looking?”
“They’ll probably be in the library on the second floor,” he answered. “I know that’s where all the Christmas decorations are and I’ve had to sneak up there just to bring a few down.” Clarke was silent, staring at Wells with wide eyes, her lips parted in shock. “What? What’d I say?”
“We have a library?” Clarke whispered.
“Well, sure,” Wells answered, confused. “It was Aurora’s, mostly, but there are all sorts of books up there. I’m surprised you haven’t seen it.”
“I don’t go upstairs unless I need to find older documents for the ranch,” Clarke explained. “And I’ve never looked into rooms the paperwork wouldn’t be in. It always felt like I’d be invading Bellamy’s privacy.”
“Sugar, invade away! Trust me, the boss won’t mind.” Wells turned back to the pie crusts he was making, hearing Clarke mumble happily to herself-
“Library, library, library...”.
Once she was on the second floor, she glanced around, trying to figure out where to go. The second floor was designed almost identically to the first, with an enormous family room taking the place of the dining room and kitchen. Clarke could almost picture little children, who looked like a mix of her and Bellamy, playing all over the place, then everyone settling onto the big, comfy couches to watch movies. She had to shake her head to get rid of the images.
‘Okay,’ Clarke thought to herself, ‘I can admit I want that. I want me and Bellamy and a handful of kids. But I can’t start daydreaming about something that might not happen. There’s still so much about my life that’s unsettled. I can’t start dreaming of a future with him until I finally close the door on my past.’ She had reached the end of the room, where there was a set of double doors in front of her. ‘Well, this must be it.’
She turned one of the handles and gasped as she walked through the door. The far wall was a giant picture window looking out towards the mountains. There were window seats the entire length of the wall as well, with bookshelves underneath the seats. The rest of the walls were covered with white sheets, which Clarke pulled back to poke her head in and look around.
‘Holy crap,’ she thought, ‘the entire wall is a bookcase and it’s completely full.’
She glanced behind each sheet and found floor to ceiling bookcases on all three walls. Only about half of the bookshelves were filled, almost like Bellamy’s mom was waiting for someone to help finish her library. Clarke thought about the books she had bought since moving to the ranch.
‘They barely fill a shelf in the bookcase in my room. I didn’t want to get too many in case I had to leave the ranch in a hurry. I wonder if Bellamy would let me move my books up here. Maybe even buy some more.’ She ran her finger over the spines of a few books, breathing in that distinctive, old book smell. ‘I think I just found my favorite room.’
Clarke smiled to herself and reluctantly moved away from the books to the dozens of boxes stacked in the center of the room.
‘God, I hope these are marked with what’s inside,’ she thought. ‘Otherwise, this could take forever.’
***
Bellamy
Bellamy walked in the front door, stamping his feet to get the little bit of snow off his boots and rubbing his hands together to warm them up. He walked over to the kitchen, taking off his hat and scarf. He only saw Wells, but that didn’t mean anything. Clarke was probably in the office.
“Hey, Wells,” Bellamy said, smiling. “Something sure smells good.” Wells jumped a little, clearly startled.
“Geez, Boss,” he cried out, holding his hand to his chest. “Maybe make some noise before you sneak up on people!”
“I wasn’t sneaking,” said Bellamy, laughing. “I closed the door and stamped my feet. What else could I have done?”
“Sorry, sorry,” Wells said, turning back to the kitchen. “You know how I get around the holidays. I kinda lose track of everything around me.”
“Well, I can’t imagine that garbage you’re listening to helps you hear what’s around you.” Wells gasped, placing his hand over his heart in shock.
“Garbage? Boss, this is vintage Spice Girls. They’re not garbage, they’re revolutionary!” he exclaimed.
“That seems a little excessive,” Bellamy remarked dryly.
“Oh, shoo,” Wells cried, waving his hands at Bellamy. “Get out before I throw something at you.” Bellamy just laughed, walking towards the office.
“Oh, Boss, she’s upstairs!” Wells called out from the kitchen, making Bellamy pivot on his heel and walk back.
“Why’s she upstairs?” he asked. Wells was placing pies in the oven, so he answered Bellamy rather distractedly.
“I asked her to find Aurora’s Thanksgiving decorations. Thought they might be in the library.”
“You’re using Momma’s decorations?” Bellamy’s tense voice alerted Wells to potential trouble, so he quickly finished putting the pies into the ovens and set the timers.
“Bell, I know it hurts,” he said, walking over to him. He grabbed one of Bellamy’s hands from across the counter. “I miss them too. I’ll always miss them. But Aurora and Eli wouldn’t want us to hide them away in boxes and stop living. They’d want us to find happiness and after awhile, the memories we have of them will turn sweet again.” Bellamy stared at Wells, surprised with both his insight and advice.
“Have you been taking psych classes behind my back?” he finally asked. Wells grinned, releasing Bellamy’s hand and throwing a dish towel at him.
“I’m naturally brilliant, thank you very much. Why don’t you go on upstairs and help Clarke? I know she’d love it.”
“She’d love me poking around in random boxes?” Bellamy asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow.
“She’d love you sharing your past with her,” replied Wells, rolling his eyes. “I know it hurts, but if my sugar can open up about her nightmare past, then you can certainly open up about yours.”
Bellamy stood there silently for a minute, twisting the dish towel in his hands. Then, he tossed it on the counter and headed for the stairs.
“You’re right,” he said, taking in a deep breath. “If Clarke can talk about the absolute torture she’s been through, I can talk about my parents.” Cash paused and turned back to Wells, a grin on his face. “Since when has my girl been ‘your sugar’?” He used exaggerated air quotes, making Wells stick his tongue out.
“Since she’s been ‘your angel’,” he replied, copying Bellamy’s air quotes and making them grin at each other. Bellamy was chuckling as he made his way upstairs.
‘I haven’t wanted to even think about my parents since the accident,’ he thought. ‘But now, with Clarke... The big house is alive again. We can decorate with some of my parents’ things and then we can decide together what to do with the rest of the house. Make it ours, my angel’s and mine.’
Bellamy started to whistle as he headed toward the library, actually excited to be going through his past and getting to share it with the woman he loved.
***
Notes:
I’ll be honest, my inner “Beauty and the Beast” fan came out, which is why they have an enormous library. I do actually think Clarke would love something like that, but I’m also projecting my own love of the idea of a private, home library onto her. Thoughts???
Chapter 28: Thanksgiving at Skyheart
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke was sitting crossed legged in the library, surrounded by piles of boxes whose only label was ‘Decorations’. She was singing Dashing Through the Snow quietly to herself when she heard footsteps coming towards the library.
‘God, I must have it bad if I can recognize Bellamy’s freaking footsteps,’ she thought fondly.
One of the double doors opened and a head with messy black hair and bright brown eyes slowly looked into the library, as if trying to avoid detection, which made Clarke laugh.
“Your sneaking skills need work, cowboy.” Bellamy grinned and opened the door all the way, walking over to Clarke’s unintentional box fort.
“Wells thought you might need some help,” he said. “And since I know for a fact Kane and I were the ones who packed up all the decorations, I’m guessing the boxes aren’t labeled.”
“Well, technically, they’re all labeled ‘Decorations’,” Clarke said, laughing. “Not super specific, I’ll admit, but still mildly helpful.”
“Well, that’s what I’m here for. To be mildly helpful.” Bellamy grinned as he settled himself on the floor as Clarke laughed again.
“Well, I’ve started a Christmas pile over here, a Thanksgiving pile here in front, and a miscellaneous pile over here,” she gestured. “I’m not actually sure what holidays these are for. I found a giant rabbit in one box, but there was also red, white, and blue bunting and tiny American flags in the same box. And since I’m pretty sure Easter hasn’t turned patriotic, I’ll go through these later and reorganize everything.”
“Angel, you know you don’t have to do that. Rearranging my horrible packing skills is definitely not part of your job.”
“I don’t mind,” Clarke said, shrugging. “Besides, it’s kind of neat to see all the decorations your parents used.” She suddenly stopped what she was doing and her head shot up to look at Bellamy. “Is-is it okay? That I’m going through this stuff? I can stop, we can put everything back, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking-”. Bellamy gently cut her off by putting his large, calloused hands over her smaller ones.
“I like that you’re using my family’s decorations, angel. I was thinking... Well, maybe during the off-season we could go through my parents’ stuff and decide what to keep and what to get rid of. Then we could go to Billings and get new things for the house, furniture and knickknacks and holiday decorations that reflect both of us.”
Clarke didn’t say anything, just stared at him with her mouth hanging open. Tears filled her eyes and few spilled onto her cheeks before she was able to pull herself together.
“You want me to help decorate your house?” she asked. “You...you actually want my help? I’m allowed to pick new things out if I want?” Clarke’s voice had grown softer and her lower lip was quivering. Bellamy sighed, remembering how her asshole ex wouldn’t let her change a thing in their apartment and then her in-laws furnished their house in Chicago without asking what she wanted. He stepped over her box fort and gathered her up in his arms. They sat together on the floor, Bellamy holding Clarke close.
“This is your home now, angel, same as it’s mine. I’ve no intention of letting you go and I want our home to reflect both of us.”
“But what about-”. Bellamy cut her off with a short, sweet kiss.
“We’ll figure out what to do about your ex. It’s not just you fighting him anymore, it’s all of us and we will win. Do you trust me?”
Even a few weeks ago, Clarke wouldn’t have known how to answer that question. But now there was no doubt in her mind as she immediately answered-
“Yes. I’ll always trust you, Bell. Forever.” She leaned forward, resting her forehead on his. They stayed like that for a few minutes, tangled up in each other’s arms, sharing the same air as their breathing began to match each other. Reluctantly, Bellamy pulled away.
“We better find those decorations before Wells comes after us with a ladle,” he said, causing Clarke to giggle. Their special moment was broken, but Clarke could still feel the strength and resolve flowing through her.
‘Whatever happens,’ she thought, ‘Bellamy will be by my side. So will Wells and Marcus. Murphy, Miller, Monty and David too. Plus the rest of the hands would help me if I needed them. This place, these people, they’re my home now.’
With that comforting thought, Clarke joined Bellamy in his quest to find the Thanksgiving decorations.
***
Clarke
Thanksgiving at Skyheart turned out to be a loud, chaotic, wonderful mess. Wells started cooking at 4am and everyone knew not to bother him once he hit his Master Chef zone. He had relented slightly with Clarke, allowing her to set the tables, place all the decorations around the dining room (and the rest of the house) and fix pitchers of ice water and hot cider. The hands started slowly trickling into the house around 10am since they could sleep late on Thanksgiving.
Wells had set up a breakfast buffet on one of the counters, so everyone helped themselves, then found random places to sit and eat. Some went to the dining room, others stood around talking to their friends while they ate, and a large group settled onto the comfy couches in the living room to watch the parades and then, most importantly, the football games.
Clarke learned there was a Skyheart Thanksgiving tradition, where most of the hands would brave the cold and play football outside until dinner was ready. She pretty quickly concluded that they were insane, but she couldn’t help herself from going outside every now and then to cheer from the porch. Inside, there was now a football game on TV, Wells was playing ‘80s music (mostly Michael Jackson, George Michael, and Madonna), and some of the hands were sitting in the dining room, telling stories.
Since Clarke was banished from the kitchen, didn’t particularly care about the game on the television, and refused to continuously freeze just to watch the hands run around with a ball, she found herself joining the group in the dining room. The only hand there that she knew well was Monty, but she was getting more and more comfortable around the men on the ranch, so she didn’t mind spending time with hands she didn’t really know.
They were the older, veteran hands (except for Monty, who got along with the older hands better than the ones his own age, which was still making his ranch transition a little difficult). Everyone in the dining room were swapping stories of Thanksgivings past: when they were children, when they had been working another ranch, or when they celebrated by themselves because they were between jobs. Clarke loved hearing about the different lives each of the hands had led. It made her realize everyone lives complicated lives, but it’s your choice how you react to your situation.
‘I feel like this needs to be my personal motto: Survive the hard times and cherish the happy ones,’ Clarke thought as she rested her head on Monty’s shoulder.
Wells called everyone in to dinner by ringing a large, metal triangle. The food was fantastic (although that didn’t surprise anyone), and the hands all felt like this was a proper Thanksgiving. They couldn’t figure out what had changed, but then the realization spread across the room that the ranch had turned into a home again because of Clarke. She had brought back that mysterious magic that turned not just the big house, but the entire ranch, into a home and a (slightly dysfunctional) family. Clarke, for her part, just enjoyed watching how happy everyone was.
“You look cheery, hon,” Marcus said. “I’m glad to see it.” He was sitting beside Clarke, Bellamy on her other side. Wells, once they dragged him out of the kitchen, was also at the table, along with Murphy, Miller, and Monty.
“I’m happy,” Clarke replied, smiling at Marcus. “Everything is just... I don’t know, I don’t even know how to describe it, but things have finally started to feel better. I feel better.”
“That’s wonderful, hon!” Marcus exclaimed. “I’m so glad you’re happy here. We all wouldn’t know what to do without you.” Clarke laughed, shaking her head, but Bellamy leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
“He’s right, you know,” Bellamy said quietly. “We wouldn’t know what to do without you. I certainly can’t imagine it.”
Clarke gave Bellamy a loving smile, blushing at his words. She gently caressed his cheek before the two of them remembered they were surrounded by people, all of whom were staring at them with barely disguised glee. Bellamy blushed, looking down at his plate, as Clarke just laughed. Wells was dramatically fanning himself.
“Oh, lord have mercy, I had no idea just a look could be so hot!” he cried out jokingly. “Goodness! You two better cool it or I’ll surely faint from the vapors!”
Everyone laughed, going back to eating Wells’ delicious dinner. Bellamy placed his hand on Clarke’s leg under the table and gently squeezed, making her smile. She intertwined her fingers with his. They both continued eating one handed, holding onto each other under the table and enjoying spending time with the people they cared about the most.
***
Notes:
Bellamy’s healing!!! Look at those two, helping each other move on from their respective losses to start building something beautiful and all theirs. Thoughts?
Chapter 29: December Days
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
December arrived at Skyheart, bringing with it almost constant snow and taking away almost all the hands. It was weirdly quiet on the ranch now. Even though Clarke usually only saw the hands at breakfast and dinner during the week, plus the nightly singalongs, it somehow seemed strange almost no one was around. Bellamy, Marcus, and the remaining hands would go out to feed the animals, muck out the stalls, and let the animals out to get a little exercise before putting them back in the barns where it was warm.
When they weren’t tending to the animals, the remaining hands spent a lot of their time in the bunkhouses (with frequent trips to the big house for Wells’ cooking). Bellamy and Marcus spent almost all their time in the big house, keeping Clarke and Wells company and helping decorate for Christmas.
Clarke learned right away that Wells loved Christmas with an almost obsessive passion. On the first of December, he was already playing nonstop Christmas songs and baking tons of sugary holiday treats. He also started decorating the house right away, enlisting Clarke, Bellamy, and Marcus. Bellamy finally gave in and allowed Wells to finally bring down all of his parents’ Christmas decorations, causing him to squeal with joy and give Bellamy an enormous hug, then immediately ordered Marcus and Bellamy to start bringing the boxes down.
Wells’ enthusiasm was infectious. For the first time in years, Clarke was actually looking forward to Christmas. Even Bellamy and Marcus seemed to catch Wells’ Christmas fever, enthusiastically decorating the outside of the big house even through the snow. Two weeks before Christmas, when they were all inside, Bellamy and Marcus trying to warm up their freezing fingers with mugs of hot cocoa, Wells brought up something Clarke had been wondering about, but was too shy to say.
“So Boss...”, Wells said casually, letting the unspoken question hang in the air.
“Oh no,” said Bellamy with an exaggerated sigh. “Whatever you’re about to ask can’t be good if you’re using that tone.” Clarke grinned, sitting cross legged on the floor between Bellamy’s feet as she strung popcorn to make a popcorn garland for the bannister.
“C’mon, cowboy, play nice,” she chided gently. Bellamy smiled and leaned down, kissing the top of her head.
“What’s up, Wells?” he asked resignedly.
“Well, I was just wondering... Since we’re having a proper, full on, family Christmas... Well, I was wondering if we could...”. Wells looked uncharacteristically nervous, twisting his hands together to hide the slight tremors Clarke had already picked up on.
“Spit it out, Wells,” Marcus said with a chuckle, “before Bell automatically says no.” Bellamy just rolled his eyes at Marcus, who kept grinning at him. Clarke had a sneaking suspicion Marcus was needling Bellamy on purpose so Wells could always get a ‘yes’ answer to his requests, instead of Bellamy’s typical ‘We’ll see’.
“I wanna get a real tree this year!” Wells blurted out.
“We have a tree,” Bellamy said patiently.
“No, we have a horrible, fake, plastic tree imitator. I want a real tree. With the smell and needles and messy sap. All of it!”
“Oh god, I haven’t had a real Christmas tree in forever,” Clarke sighed, smiling slightly. “Decorating the tree with my family is one of my favorite memories of growing up. We’d sing Christmas songs and Mom would tell us the stories behind the special family heirloom ornaments...”. She trailed off, a sad look crossing her face. Bellamy stroked her hair.
“Where are your family Christmas ornaments now, angel?” he asked.
“A storage locker in Chicago. I got the unit after the shooting to keep my parents’ and my brother’s special mementos I couldn’t bear to part with.” She paused , frowning slightly in thought. “You know, I don’t think Cage even knows about the storage unit. When we moved to Chicago, I didn’t want him tainting any of my memories with my family.”
“Could we have the stuff brought here?” Wells asked. “I mean, if we hired movers to empty the storage unit and bring it here?”
“I don’t know,” answered Clarke. “I don’t know how that sort of thing works.”
“We could always look into it, hon,” Marcus said. “Might be nice, having all of your folks’ stuff here.” Clarke was chewing on her bottom lip, thinking.
“Yeah, I mean...”. She trailed off. “I know I’d like to have all of that stuff back, but I don’t want to add to the clutter around here.”
“Angel, if you want your family’s belongings, then we’ll hire someone to bring them here,” Bellamy said firmly. “Like I told you, I want this house to start looking like ours. Having both of our families’ important heirlooms around here would make this place even more ‘Bellamy and Clarke’s home’.”
“You really mean that?” Clarke said, laughing, twisting at the waist to look at him.
“I’ll look today about moving everything here,” Bellamy said, smiling, as he gently cupped Clarke’s cheek. “Hopefully, we can find a company that can get your family’s stuff here before Christmas so you can have your family ornaments.”
“You’re too good to me, you know that?” Clarke sniffed a little as she leaned against Bellamy’s hand.
“Impossible.” He leaned down, giving Clarke a soft, lingering kiss. After awhile, Wells loudly cleared his throat.
“So... Does this mean a real tree?” Everyone laughed.
“Always focused on the truly important things, aren’t you, Wells?” Marcus said, still chuckling.
“Kane, honey, at Christmas, a real tree is one of the truly important things.”
“Yes, Wells,” Cash sighed, “this means a real tree.”
“Yes!” Wells exclaimed. He and Clarke gave each other high fives, both grinning. Bellamy looked suspiciously between the two of them.
“Please don’t tell me this was some elaborate ruse just so I’d cave on the tree thing?” he asked.
“Of course not,” Clarke replied primly. “I actually planned on seducing you until you agreed to a real tree, but that’s not necessary now.”
“Nope, definitely is,” Bellamy said quickly. “In fact, Wells, Kane, you better go while my angel thoroughly convinces me we need a real tree.” They all laughed at Bellamy’s almost desperate voice, no one bothering to move.
“Sorry, Boss, but you already agreed to a real tree,” Wells said smugly. “Now we just need to decide if we’re going to some tree lot or cutting down our own.”
“Tree lot?” Marcus repeated, sounding horrified. “If you’re gonna have a real Christmas tree, you cut it down yourself. That’s the rule.”
“Since when?” asked Clarke.
“Since always, hon. Actually, there’s a Christmas tree farm right outside Billings. We could make a weekend of it.”
“Oh, yeah, let’s!” Wells exclaimed. “We could go shopping for gifts and I know Bell wanted Clarke to look at some home decor. We could stay the night and go to the farm to get our tree the next day. Oh, this’ll be so much fun!”
“What’d you think, angel?” Bellamy asked. “Wanna go on a quick trip to Billings?”
“Honestly,” she said, “it sounds perfect.” Wells squealed, clapping his hands.
“Oh, this is gonna be so much fun! When do you wanna go?” he asked. “I can make our hotel reservations.”
“Why don’t we just go tomorrow?” Bellamy said with a shrug. “I’ll do the reservations while I’m finding a company to move Clarke’s belongings here.”
“Tomorrow?” Wells cried, jumping to his feet. “I gotta go pack.” He rushed out of the door, Marcus calling after him-
“We’re staying for one night, Wells! One! Don’t bring everything!” He sighed, got up, and grabbed his coat. “Oh, I better go check on him. Boss, I’ll let the hands know we’ll be gone the next two days and that dinner tonight will just be sandwiches in the bunkhouses and Wells’ Christmas cookies. That way, you can close up the house early and we can get an early start tomorrow.”
“Sounds perfect,” said Bellamy. “Thanks, Kane.”
“Have a good night, Marcus,” Clarke called.
“You too, hon. I’ll see you both bright and early tomorrow.” Marcus walked out, leaving Bellamy and Clarke alone.
“I’m gonna go ahead and lock up, angel,” he said. Clarke stood up from the floor, stretching.
“I’ll grab the laptop from the office and start look for hotels.” Bellamy smiled at her and snagged Clarke around the waist before she could leave.
“Think we’ll be able to behave ourselves in a hotel?” he asked teasingly.
“Cowboy, we don’t behave ourselves here! I feel like a hotel is just giving us permission to misbehave.”
“Good. Behaving’s overrated.” Bellamy gave Clarke a lingering kiss, then pulled just a hair’s breadth away.
“Totally overrated,” Clarke whispered, then captured his lips with her own, deepening the kiss. Before things got too out of control, she forced herself back, breathing hard. “Laptop, reservations, lock the doors. We should-”.
Bellamy broke her off with another kiss, his hands sliding under her sweater to feel her bare skin. Clarke pulled away again, laughing.
“Just-just go lock up, okay? I’ll be in the office.” She turned to leave, then looked back. “And no, nothing is happening on the desk.” Bellamy actually pouted, making her laugh some more. “Go!”
Clarke pushed Bellamy towards the front door before turning and walking toward the office. She smiled, her hand drifting up to touch her kiss-swollen lips.
***
Notes:
I just really want to thank everyone who has taken the time to leave comments or kudos. It means so much to me, especially right now, since my brain is rebelling and I’m pretty much second guessing everything I do (thanks anxiety & depression 🙄). I appreciate you so, so much for taking the time to let me know you’re enjoying the story. ❤️
Chapter 30: Roadtrip
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke, Bellamy, Wells, and Marcus got off to a very early start the next morning, leaving Skyheart around 4am. Clarke and Bellamy had actually managed to do something productive the night before, despite his wandering hands, with Clarke reserving two rooms at the hotel the hands usually stayed at on their weekends off. Bellamy had managed to find a moving company willing to bring Clarke’s belongings from Chicago to Montana, promising delivery before Christmas. When she tried to ask how expensive that must have been, he just cut her off by pinning her to the bed (or wall or desk) and kissing her until she forgot the question. Even thinking about last night brought a blush to her cheeks.
“Uh-oh, someone was being naughty last night!” Wells called out from the backseat of the truck in a singsong voice. Clarke just blushed harder and glared at him.
“Oh, hush, Wells. Let the kids have their fun,” Marcus said. This time, both Bellamy and Clarke blushed, their eyes meeting in the rear view mirror, as he was driving while she sat in the back with Wells.
“Would you shut up?” Clarke hissed at her best friend, making him laugh.
“Oh, sugar, you know I don’t mean anything by it. My two favorite people in the world are happy. What more could I ask?”
“I’m not one of your favorite people?” Marcus gasped in fake indignation. “Why, Wells, how could you say that right in front of me?” Wells laughed, leaning forward and hugging Marcus around his seat.
“Of course you are, honey,” he reassured Marcus. “But, let’s face it, you’re always happy. I’ve been dealing with that moody man child for years, until an angel of light walked through our front door and chased all his clouds away.”
“You should start writing poetry, Wells. That was beautiful,” Bellamy said dryly, making everyone laugh.
The ride to Billings was long, but the four people in Bellamy’s truck barely noticed the distance, talking and laughing, singing along to the radio and planning for Christmas Day.
***
Once they reached Billings, they split up. Wells needed to go to the mall, wanting to pop into random stores to find gifts. Clarke had learned Wells never planned gifts ahead of time, he just waited until he saw “the one”. Marcus was stopping by the hardware store. In his spare time, he liked doing woodwork. He made all sorts of things, selling some of it, but mostly giving away his different pieces as gifts. At the moment, he was secretly carving Clarke her very first Skyheart Christmas ornament.
Clarke and Bellamy were stopping by a furniture store to look at new beds. (Bellamy wanted to officially share a room with her and he thought a new bed would be a great way to start making the room “theirs” instead of just the place he went to and collapsed after a hard day.) They also planned on looking for artwork they could hang on the walls, although Clarke’s Christmas gifts to Bellamy were artsy photos of the ranch and their ranch family that she’d taken over the past few months. She had enlisted Murphy and Miller to help her find a store that would enlarge the photos and they were currently hiding them in the bunkhouse. Clarke hoped they could also be used to decorate the house.
“All right,” Bellamy said, “let’s say...three hours? We can all meet up at the McDonalds for lunch and then trade off shopping partners. Since I know Wells is already planning on stealing my girl.” Wells just replied by sticking his tongue out, causing all of them to laugh.
“Okay, I have a feeling Clarke and Wells will be shopping longer than Kane and me, so we’ll go ahead and check into the hotel. Oh, and I’ve got reservations at that fancy steak restaurant at six, so you guys definitely have to be back by then. And Wells, go ahead and use the ranch credit card if you find decorations you like.”
“You sure?” he asked tentatively, not sounding at all like himself. “They might be a tad...flamboyant. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.”Bellamy just smiled at Wells, his love for his pseudo-adopted brother shining in his eyes.
“I don’t mind. And no one on the ranch will care either. Like we’ve been saying, this is a new beginning. We’ll make our own Christmas traditions while still respecting the traditions of our parents.”
“I like that a lot, Bellamy,” Marcus said, nodding approvingly. “Your folks would be real proud, seeing you make your own traditions with your family. Even if we are a little odd.” Wells slung his arm over Marcus’ shoulders, grinning.
“Nothing odd about us, honey. This here is a true modern family. We’ve got our cheerful grandpa.” Marcus elbowed Wells, both of them laughing. “Okay, okay, our cheerful...uncle? Then we’ve got our bossy patriarch, his fantabulous big brother, and our very own Madonna.”
“Madonna as in loving mother figure from the Bible?” asked Clarke, raising her eyebrow. “Or Madonna as in the sex symbol singer?”
“Uhh...”. Wells paused. “Both? You could be a sexy mother figure who sings!” They all laughed as Bellamy glanced at his watch.
“All right,” he said, “time to get moving. Remember, noon, McDonalds.”
“Sir, yes, sir,” Wells cried, saluting, before sauntering off towards the mall.
“That boy...”, Marcus said, shaking his head. “I love him, but he’s certifiably insane.”
“Aren’t we all?” Clarke asked dryly, causing Marcus to chuckle and kiss her cheek.
“I’m off,” he said. “See you two soon.” Clarke and Bellamy watched Marcus for a moment, then turned to each other.
“Ready?
“Lead the way, cowboy.” Bellamy grinned, taking Clarke’s hand in his as they walked to the furniture store.
***
“It’s...really green,” Clarke said, her voice devoid of emotion. She was staring at the couch, her head tilted to the side and her mouth pursed. “I mean, like, really green. Like a leprechaun threw up on it green.” Bellamy just laughed, grabbing her hand and leading her away from the monstrous couch.
“All right, definitely not that one,” he said, looking around the store. “Those white ones over there are nice.” Clarke walked over to the two big, white couches Bellamy had pointed out.
“They’re really pretty,” she said, smirking slightly. “But you do know the hands would destroy these in less than a minute.” Bellamy frowned before nodding.
“True,” he said. “Plus, white furniture with kids is probably a bad idea.” Clarke just rolled her eyes.
“Bell, I’m not pregnant.”
“Yet,” he said. She couldn’t help herself and started laughing.
“Uh-huh. Well, we both know we want kids someday, but that someday isn’t today,” Clarke said, still laughing. Bellamy wrapped his arms around her from the back, gently settling his hands on her lower abdomen.
“What about those?” She pointed to a variety of blue couches in different shades. “We could have the darker couches in the living room with cream and light grey accent pillows. The lighter colors in the family room on the second floor, maybe with those pretty teal and blush floral pillows of your mom’s. Plus, the different shades of blue and white would already match Skyheart’s curtains. What do you think?” Clarke turned to look at Bellamy.
‘I’ve never decorated a home before,’ she thought nervously. ‘What if I’m terrible at it? What if he hates it? Oh, god, what if-’
“Whatever you’re thinking, stop,” Bellamy said, interrupting her internal monologue.
“Huh?”
“You’ve got that look where you’re second guessing everything because you don’t think your decisions are good enough.” There was a pause, then Clarke looked down at her feet.
“I think... I think it’s going to take me awhile to stop the negative thoughts. Those aren’t really wounds you can heal with stitches.” Bellamy slid a finger under her chin, gently lifting her head so she was looking him in the eye.
“I know you’ve got miles to go, angel,” he said quietly. “But whenever you start having those thoughts, tell me. I’ll help you through them.” Clarke gave Bellamy a trembling smile, then wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. He hugged her close to him, gently rubbing her back.
“Thank you,” Clarke said, swiping at her cheeks. “Thank you for being there. Thank you for asking to understand and just listening when I need to ramble like a crazy person.” Her face was pressed against his chest, so she felt his deep, rumbling laughter through her cheek.
“Not crazy, angel. Healing.” Bellamy lifted Clarke’s hand and kissed the back. “And I love the blue couches.” She laughed at that, pulling back slightly and kissing him.
“Okay then. Blue with colorful accent pillows. Oooh, maybe we could use navy and white as the color scheme for the master bedroom! Tying it together with the rest of the house, but still different enough that it’s clear it’s our own personal space.”
“I love it, angel,” Bellamy said, twining their fingers together. “Now let’s go find pieces to fill our home.”
‘Our home,’ she thought with delight. ‘Ours. God, I love this man.’
Bellamy and Clarke slowly walked through the store, each finding little additions to add to their home. Their Skyheart.
***
Notes:
Apologies again for disappearing (and only giving you one chapter). Not to overshare, but I’m kind of in the middle of a mental health crisis and it’s making everything so difficult. I promise I’ll finish this story. It’s just taking longer than planned. As always, your comments & kudos are so welcome and appreciated. 💖
PS Thank you to poupie69 & Jericho_676 for letting me know I accidentally repeated the last chapter 🫂
Chapter 31: We Wouldn’t Want to Waste Water
Notes:
TW: this chapter is smut. That’s it. Nothing but sexy shower time.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Bellamy
The rest of the day in Billings flew by, with Clarke and Wells wandering around the mall, laughing and joking, picking up presents and decorations for Skyheart. Wells also convinced Clarke to buy a fancy, new outfit for dinner that night: a navy blue, low cut cocktail dress. Poor Bellamy lost the ability to speak when he first saw her in it, his mouth hanging open. He loved that she not only looked absolutely gorgeous, but finally confident to wear something a little revealing without her self consciousness rearing its ugly head. Clarke, Bellamy, Wells, and Kane had a wonderful time at dinner, talking and reminiscing about past Skyheart Christmases. Clarke couldn’t stop smiling all the way back to the hotel that night, Bellamy keeping a firm grip around her waist as they all walked back.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you so happy before, angel,” Bellamy commented as they entered their hotel room, waving goodnight to Wells and Kane. He was pulling off his tie and unbuttoning his white dress shirt, while Clarke was sitting on the edge of the bed, taking off her heels.
“Today was so much fun!” she exclaimed with a grin. “I really love when the four of us spend time together, even if it’s just sitting at home. It... It feels like family. I’ve missed that.” Bellamy smiled softly at her, watching as she massaged the arches of her feet. “Ugh, remind me again why I thought wearing high heels was a good idea?”
“Pretty sure it’s because you fell for Wells’ peer pressure.” Clarke chuckled, standing up and reaching for the zipper on the side of her new dress. Bellamy slowly walked over to her and placed his hands over hers.
“Let me,” he whispered in Clarke’s ear, making her shiver. He slowly slid the zipper down and pushed the fabric off the top of her shoulders. The dress pooled on the floor by her feet, revealing a lacy black bra and black panties with bows on the sides with a dark blue garter belt and black stockings. Bellamy took in a ragged breath, staring at her.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured. Clarke blushed and shook her head, staring at the floor. Bellamy gently laid his hands on her neck and lifted her head with his thumbs under her chin.
“You. Are. Beautiful,” he said, enunciating each word carefully. “I’ll tell you everyday for the rest of our lives just so you’ll know.” Clarke’s eyes filled with tears and she blinked rapidly to stop them from falling.
“You’re too good for me. You know that, right?” she asked. Bellamy grabbed her around the waist and pressed her body tightly against his. He could feel her nipples tightening through her thin bra, the fabric rubbing against his chest.
“Don’t think that,” said Bellamy. “I know it’s hard for you, thinking you’re not enough. You spent years having someone tell you that, so I know it’s hard to break out of that type of thinking. But you are perfect for me. There isn’t a single thing about you I would change.” He leaned down, capturing Clarke’s lips with his own, kissing her hard. He pulled back after a minute, both of them breathing hard.
“Well, there is one thing I would change,” he whispered against her lips. She frowned and looked up at him, but Bellamy just smiled, placing his big hand on her bare abdomen. “I’d change this. Make sure everyone could see you’re mine.”
Clarke rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help smiling as she went up on her toes and gently bit down on Cash’s lower lip. “Shower. Now.”
Bellamy grinned and lifted Clarke, causing her to wrap her legs around his waist as he carried her to the bathroom, both of them still wearing clothes. Instead of stopping, he carried her straight into the shower, gently kissing and biting her neck as he blindly reached for the knob to turn on the water.
“Bell, no. No, no, no!” Clarke squealed as freezing cold water came out of the shower head, immediately soaking her bra and panties and causing Bellamy’s open dress shirt and slacks to cling to his body. As the water warmed, she pushed his dress shirt off, letting it fall to the shower floor.
“I kinda hate you right now,” she said, shaking out her long hair and causing droplets of water to hit his face and bare chest as he laughed.
“No, you don’t,” Bellamy said. “You love me.” Clarke just shrugged, trying not to smile, as Bellamy growled and slowly let her body slide down his until her feet were on the floor.
“Say it,” he demanded. Clarke shook her head, biting her lower lip as she opened his slacks and let them fall, leaving him in just his boxer briefs.
“Say it,” Bellamy said again. Clarke just smirked and unhooked her bra, letting it fall onto the pile of clothes gathering on the shower floor. Bellamy pushed himself against her, her back up against the cold tile wall, her breasts pushed against his hard chest.
“Say it or I’ll make you say it,” he threatened with a grin. He started running a finger back and forth across the top of her panties, slowly pulling them lower. Clarke looked up at him through her lashes, water droplets sliding sensually down her body. She bit her lip, then said -
“Make me.”
Bellamy growled again and shoved her panties down her legs. He tore off the garter belt and Clarke’s stockings fell to the shower floor. He gave her a mischievous grin, then suddenly knelt in front of her.
“Bellamy...”, Clarke said, sounding nervous.
“You told me to make you, angel. Well, this is me making you. The only thing I wanna hear from you are screams of pleasure and my name on your lips.”
“Bellamy, I’m not sure-”. She suddenly gasped as he lifted her leg and placed it over his broad shoulder, opening her to his gaze.
“So beautiful,” Bellamy whispered almost reverently. He leaned forward, then glanced up at her face. “Eyes on me, angel.” Clarke stared down at him, their eyes locked together, as he leaned closer and licked all the way up her lips. She started breathing harder as Bellamy took his fingers and spread her open for him. He licked from her core to her clit, gently running his tongue around her sensitive nub. Clarke groaned, but Bellamy just grinned and went back in, thrusting his tongue in and out of her core as one of his fingers left her lips and moved to her clit, rubbing it faster and harder.
“Oh, Jesus.” Clarke threw her head back against the tiled wall, closing her eyes and biting her lip. Her hips were gently, unconsciously, undulating against Bellamy’s face. He moved his mouth up and sucked on her clit, running his tongue over it repeatedly. He eased one finger, then two, inside her, slowly moving them, then thrusting harder. He could feel her inner walls tightening around his fingers, so he flicked his tongue hard and fast over her clit, causing her to explode into his mouth.
“Bell! Oh, god, Bellamy!” Clarke screamed, unable to control her hips as they jerked toward him. He slowed down his fingers and gently licked her sensitive clit as she rode through her orgasm. When her walls stopped contracting around his fingers, he slowly withdrew them. Clarke looked down at him as he grinned, slipping his fingers into his mouth. Bellamy lowered her leg from his shoulder as he slowly lifted himself up off the floor, kissing her bare skin as he stood. They were finally face to face and Clarke grabbed him, kissing him fiercely.
“Wow...”, she breathed out, resting her forehead on his broad shoulder. Bellamy just grinned.
“You still haven’t said it.”
“I love you. I love you. I love you.” After each ‘I love you’, Clarke kissed him. His hands slide down to her waist, tightening on her wet skin, then he lifted her as she gave a startled yelp, automatically wrapping her legs around him. Bellamy pressed her back against the tiles again, the water cascading down their bodies.
“Cowboy,” she murmured, smiling at him. She gave a little bite to Bellamy’s earlobe, making him jerk forward involuntarily. “You’re wearing too many clothes.” He grinned.
“Hold onto me,” he ordered. Clarke wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and tightened her legs around his waist. Bellamy slowly let her go, making sure she wasn’t going to fall, then grabbed his boxer briefs and shoved them down his legs, both of them finally naked. He slid his hands under Clarke’s ass and lifted her, so she was right above his pulsing erection. Their eyes met and held as he lowered her onto himself, her silken walls quivering around his hard length.
“Oh, god,” Clarke moaned, her entire body arching back. Her breasts were pushed against his chest and he felt himself slide even deeper inside her, causing him to let out a slight groan.
“Hold onto me, angel,” Bellamy whispered in her ear. She tightened her arms and legs again as he slowly slid back out, then slammed himself inside of her, causing them both to moan. He kept a steady pace for a while, but Clarke felt too good wrapped around him in all ways. He began thrusting into her even harder, her head thrown back against the wall, gasping after each thrust. Soon, they both reached their climax, Bellamy falling over the edge first. He felt himself empty inside of Clarke, who began to shake, finding her own finish.
He held her up, both of them gasping for air. Clarke looked into his eyes and smiled, gently running her fingers through his messy hair, her nails scratching at his scalp. Bellamy kissed her as he slowly lowered her to the floor, the water beginning to turn cold.
“I think we better get out before we use up all of the hotel’s hot water,” he said. Clarke gave an exhausted chuckle, still holding onto him.
“I’m not sure what to do about our clothes.” Both Clarke and Bellamy looked at the pile of wet clothes on the shower floor. He just laughed.
“I’ll hang them up,” he said, still chuckling. “Hopefully they’ll be a little bit dry before we have to pack them up.” He slowly pulled out of Clarke, making them both moan, then laugh.
“I’ll be honest,” Clarke said, leaning against one of the walls in the shower, “I’m not sure I can walk.” Bellamy grinned and gently lifted her into his arms, stepping out of the shower.
“Lean against the counter for me,” he said. Clarke obliged, barely keeping her eyes open. Bellamy grabbed a towel and dried her off, then quickly wiped the water off of himself. He lifted her back into his arms and carried her to the bed, gently laying her down on the sheets. He kissed her forehead as he pulled the blankets over her naked body.
“I’m gonna go hang up the clothes, then I’ll be back.” Clarke just nodded, her eyes already closed. Bellamy went back to the bathroom and grabbed their soaked clothes off the shower floor, hanging them up around the bathroom. He turned off the lights and made his way to the bed, slipping in beside Clarke. Bellamy snuck an arm over her waist, pulling her back against him as they both sighed, settling in together for the night.
***
Notes:
I’m alive! Let me know what you’re thinking! 💖
Chapter 32: Christmas Trees
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
Clarke and Bellamy met Marcus and Wells for breakfast the next morning in the hotel’s restaurant. Wells took one look at Clarke’s crazy curls she’d tried to hide with a braid and started grinning. He knew her hair only got like that if she slept with it wet instead of taking the time to dry it.
“You kids have a good night?” Wells asked, trying to sound innocent and failing miserably.
“Shut it,” Clarke warned. Wells just laughed and began pouring glasses of orange juice for everyone from a pitcher on the table, as Marcus smiled and shook his head. Breakfast was set up as a buffet and Wells grabbed Clarke’s hand, dragging her over to the food.
“So...”. He left the question unsaid, just staring at Clarke expectantly as she grabbed pancakes and bacon.
“Don’t you have anything better to do than wonder about my sex life?” she asked with a slightly exasperated sigh.
“Nope.” Wells grinned, starting to fill his plate. “It is my inalienable right as your best friend to know all the hot and heavy hookup details. See, I’m trying to figure out just what makes sex oh so appealing, since I have absolutely no interest in it, and you are my answer key.”
“I’ll tell you later,” she said, laughing. “When we’re not in a hotel, surrounded by families.”
“You’re ruining my fun, sugar,” he said with a pout. “Part of my inalienable rights as your bestie is shocking people with your naughty escapades!”
Clarke just shook her head, smiling, and headed back to their table, Wells following closely behind.
“Are you done interrogating her?” asked Bellamy, scowling at Wells as he stood to pull out Clarke’s chair.
“Nope,” Wells replied, “but she’s being annoyingly prim about not discussing sexy times in front of families.”
“Shocking,” Marcus muttered sarcastically as he got up, joining Bellamy to go get their food. Wells just stuck his tongue out at them before turning back to Clarke.
“At least confirm my suspicions,” Wells begged, using his fork to gesture at her wild hair.
“You are so irritating,” Clarke sighed, self-consciously tucking an errant curl behind her ear. “But, to answer your invasive question…yes.”
“Eee!” he squealed, excited. Clarke and Wells had reached the point where they could have full conversations with only a few words and significant looks. She had never had a friendship like that before, which made Wells all the more special to her.
“Oh, no. You didn’t tell him, did you?” Bellamy sat down next to Clarke, shaking his head at Wells’ obvious excitement and Clarke’s embarrassment.
“I didn’t say anything,” she protested. “It’s not my fault he inferred.” Marcus laughed, setting his plate down and settling himself into the chair next to Wells.
“Let’s be honest,” he said, “the two of you could just look at each other and he’d figure out what you’ve been up to.” Clarke and Wells stared at each other, then started cracking up, knowing Marcus was right.
“All right, all right, can we please change the subject?” Bellamy was flushed a deep red, which made Clarke and Wells laugh even more.
“You’re not gonna win against the two of ‘em, Boss. You might as well surrender now and accept it,” Marcus said to Bellamy.
“Sorry, cowboy,” Clarke leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek, causing him to smile and shake his head resignedly over both Clarke and Wells’ antics.
“I swear,” Bellamy said, “the two of you turn into giggly 12 year olds when you’re left alone together for too long.”
“I’m afraid you speak the truth, boss man,” Wells said with a grin. “But c’mon, no one can be super mature and adulty all the time.”
“‘Adulty’? Seriously? Oh, lord,” said Marcus, shaking his head. They all laughed before starting to eat.
***
After breakfast, they quickly packed everything up and loaded it into the truck, setting off for the Christmas tree farm.
“I’ve never cut down my own tree before. I’m excited!” Clarke exclaimed, bouncing a little in her seat.
“I’m pretty sure your bouncing up and down gave that away,” Wells said dryly. She jokingly punched him in the arm.
“Hey,” she said, “I’m allowed to be excited. Don’t be a jerk.”
“Aw, sugar, I love that you’re excited and I love you!” Wells reached over in the backseat and gave her a big hug. “We’ll find the perfect tree. I promise.”
‘This is what life is supposed to be like,’ thought Clarke, grinning, feeling happy and content. ‘Love, family, friends, laughter, hell, even tears... This is right. I only wish I had figured it out sooner. But I have it now and I’m never giving it up. These people...they’re my family.’
Once they reached the farm, both Bellamy and Marcus took out saws from the bed on the truck. The farm stretched out as far as Clarke could see, beautiful green firs covered in a light dusting of snow. The four of them started walking, looking around at the trees. Other families were at the farm, laughing and taking pictures, as they cut down their own Christmas tree. After about twenty minutes, Wells stopped, his eyes wide, and pointed.
“That one. That’s our tree.”
They all looked at the beautiful fir tree. It wasn’t too tall, maybe six feet, and it was full-bodied, with plenty of branches for ornaments. It tilted slightly to the left, but somehow, that added to its charm. Clarke circled it, softly touching the needles with her gloved hand. Once she made a full circle, everyone was looking at her for an opinion. She smiled.
“It’s perfect.”
Bellamy grinned as Marcus chuckled. They both knelt down to find the best place to saw. Once they agreed on an area, Bellamy motioned for Clarke and Wells to step back.
“This shouldn’t take too long,” he explained, “but I don’t want it accidentally falling and hitting you guys.”
“Yeah, uh...”, Wells began, “we’ll just stand over here and supervise.” He took Clarke’s hand, stepping back and making sure they were safely away from the tree. Bellamy began sawing first, then Marcus went. Bellamy finished, with the tree gently falling to the ground. Clarke and Wells applauded, making Bellamy’s ears turn red and causing Marcus to laugh. Bellamy hoisted the back of the tree onto his shoulder while Marcus grabbed the front.
“Do you need help?” asked Clarke, hovering a little closer but not wanting to get in their way.
“No, that’s okay, angel. We’ve got it,” Bellamy replied, shooting her a sweet smile. After a short walk, they settled the tree in the truck bed and paid for it, setting out for Skyheart earlier than expected.
“Everything goes okay on the road, we’ll get back in time to help with the evening chores,” Bellamy remarked to Marcus, who nodded.
“I can probably whip something up for dinner. Let the hands know and then we can rope them into decorating with us,” Wells told them. Everyone laughed as they all settled in for the drive home.
***
Notes:
Thoughts??? (Though I didn’t plan this, I’m actually quite happy I’m adding my Christmas chapters now, just to embrace the Christmas in July spirit 🎄)
Chapter 33: Peaceful Wintery Days
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
Two days before Christmas, all of the contents of Clarke’s storage locker in Chicago arrived at Skyheart. She and Wells carried most of the boxes to the second floor, then enlisted Bellamy and the rest of the hands to carry the really heavy boxes upstairs. Clarke didn’t have much in the storage unit, but it was enough that the boxes took up a corner of the family room. She found the two boxes labeled decorations and left them by the Christmas tree.
“See, it was a good thing we left space on the tree,” Wells remarked. “Now you can add your family ornaments too.”
Everyone at Skyheart had ended up helping decorate. Two days after they brought the tree back from Billings, a huge snowstorm covered the ranch and the hands stayed at the big house for the three day long blizzard. Everyone ended up decorating the tree and the house while Wells made Christmas treats like a madman. Those three days were exceptionally meaningful for Clarke, as she felt she finally bonded with the ranch hands.
“What do you think? Wait for Bellamy and Marcus or start decorating ourselves?” Clarke asked Wells, standing in front of their gaily decorated tree.
“Let’s wait,” he said. “I’m sure Bell is gonna want to know the stories behind your special Christmas ornaments. It’ll be a nice look at Clarke’s Christmas’ Past!” He threw his arm up in the air, as if motioning to a huge billboard that advertised her past holidays.
Clarke just laughed and settled back down on the couch with Wells, holding a mug of hot chocolate in her hands. The furniture she and Bellamy had picked out in Billings wasn’t being delivered until the new year, so the house was still rather bare (except for the excess of Christmas decorations everywhere).
“I haven’t had a happy Christmas in years,” remarked Clarke, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. “I’m really looking forward to this one.”
“Aw, sugar, I know things have been hard but this is your home now,” Wells said, putting his arm around her so she could snuggle into his side. “We haven’t had a real super happy exciting over the top holiday extravaganza since Aurora and Eli died. This year is gonna be special for all of us.”
“What were they like?” Clarke asked him. “Bellamy’s parents? It still hurts him to talk about them, so I haven’t pushed.” Wells took a deep breath, staring at the tree covered in Skyheart Christmas ornaments. He sighed, then looked at her, giving her a sad smile.
“They were wonderful. You know, when Bell first brought me here, after those assholes attacked me, I figured I’d have to leave as soon as possible. That no one on a manly cattle ranch would want someone like me around. But Aurora and Eli... It was like I was already a part of their family. They loved me right away. So did Bellamy and Kane. I know some of the hands found me a little strange, but they all warmed up to me too.”
“And would that have anything to do with your glorious cooking skills?” Clarke asked teasingly. Wells chuckled, gently nudging her with his wool sock covered foot.
“I’m sure that helped. You know, there was this one night, a week or so after I got here... I’d been staying in one of the guest rooms, trying not to bother anyone, but I’d started having nightmares about what happened. Well, I mean, you get that.” Clarke gave him a sad half smile and nodded.
“Anyway, I woke up with this shout, breathing hard, tears running down my face. All of a sudden, my door opened and these arms just wrapped around me, holding me as I cried. It was Aurora. She had noticed how hard a time I was having and so she started leaving her and Eli’s bedroom door open, so she could hear if I was struggling. We sat there for hours, her just holding me, stroking my back. Even humming little lullabies. I’d never had anyone treat me like that, not even my own mama.” He gave Clarke a sweet smile and she grabbed his hand, squeezing it.
“She sounds amazing,” Clarke said. “I wish I could have met her.”
“Oh, sugar, she would have loved you, trust me on that. Both she and Eli would have. Plus, they would have been thrilled Bellamy was settling down. They started grilling him about grandkids the day he turned 18!”
“18? Seriously?” she asked, shaking her head and laughing. “That would have been way too much pressure!”
“Well, that, and you only would’ve been 12,” Wells teased. “Probably not the best age for you two to start having kids.” They both laughed, then turned as the front door opened. Marcus and Bellamy came in, bundled up in winter coats and scarves, stomping to get the snow off their boots.
“Uh-oh,” Marcus said with a laugh. “Whenever they start laughing like that, there’s bound to be trouble.” He smiled as Clarke and Wells started laughing again. Wells got up to get two more mugs of hot chocolate and Clarke went to take Bellamy and Marcus’ coats to hang them up near the fireplace to dry.
“We were just plotting,” she said with a nonchalant shrug. “What can I say?” Bellamy gentled grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back to him.
“Plotting, huh?” He rubbed his nose against Clarke’s before giving her a sweet kiss. She smiled up at him.
“Everyone should plot once in a while. It’s healthy,” she informed him.
“To plot?” he asked her.
“Hey, it’s not like we’re plotting world domination. Well, at least not today.” Clarke winked at Bellamy and Marcus laughed when Bellamy gave her a gentle swat on her ass.
“Yeah, no world domination until later,” he said. “Maybe after Christmas.”
“Yes, sir, Boss,” Wells said, handing Bellamy his hot chocolate and saluting. “Clarke and I will take over the world after Christmas. Well, I mean, then there’s her birthday, we should probably wait until after that. Oh, and the hands come back in February, it might be difficult to plan with all that craziness. And then there’s Valentine’s Day, no one wants to deal with world domination then. And then March, well...”.
Everyone was laughing by that point and Clarke started pelting Wells with marshmallows.
“Okay, okay, we’ll find an appropriate domination time that doesn’t interfere with our busy schedules!” she said.
“That’s all I ask,” he replied primly, taking a big handful of marshmallows and stuffing them into his face, ruining his elegant gentleman demeanor and making everyone laugh.
They finished decorating the tree, using Clarke’s family ornaments. She was surprised how happy seeing the pieces of her childhood made her. She had expected to feel sad, but surrounded by her Skyheart family, she realized the past didn’t have to stay sad. She now had people to share her family with, people who would understand and love them too.
***
Christmas was a wonderful day at Skyheart. The ten-man ranch hand crew came over to the big house around 10am and brought breakfast, since Wells was fully focused on Christmas dinner. They all opened presents together, and Clarke was surprised, and incredibly moved, that each of the hands had gotten her something: nothing outrageous or expensive, but small and meaningful. She loved the hand-carved ornament Marcus gave her, a miniature of the big house, and he was utterly tickled with the framed photos of him with their Skyheart family.
Clarke’s gifts to everyone were photographs; pictures of all of them spending time together or just idyllic pictures of the ranch. Bellamy immediately started hanging up his gifts right away, causing the hands to good naturedly tease him. The pictures really were beautiful, though. Clarke had an eye for photography and could capture completely candid moments between people and make them look beautiful. Her nature photography seemed to capture the best parts of Skyheart, from green pastures to early morning fog and sunsets over the lake.
Wells gave Clarke a bright pink sparkly scarf and mittens set, with a purple sparkly sweater he made himself. She immediately put it on and gave him an enormous hug, knowing the time that would have gone into making something so personal. He was obviously pleased she liked it so much, a blush spreading across his cheeks.
Wells, for his part, hung up a picture of him and Clarke in the kitchen, saying he wanted to be able to look at the most beautiful person at Skyheart while he was cooking. When the hands started teasing him, asking if he meant himself or Clarke, he just tossed his head, saying if he wanted to look at himself, he would have just hung up a mirror.
Bellamy’s gifts to Clarke were both practical and sweet. One of them were sweaters his mother had knit (as a way to not so subtly nudge him into bringing a woman home) and Clarke just so happened to be the perfect size to fit them. She was thrilled to have something that brought her even closer to Bellamy, his family, and the ranch.
His second present made her blush, but also brought tears to her eyes. It was a hand-carved cradle, with homemade blankets and baby clothes. Bellamy told her it had been his when he was a baby and his parents saved the cradle and blankets for his children. His mother had knit over a dozen baby blankets (hoping for brothers and sisters for Bellamy), and when it became obvious she wouldn’t have anymore kids, she saved them all for his children. Bellamy’s father had made the cradle, carving his and Aurora’s initials into the side.
The hands gently teased both Bellamy and Clarke, but it was obvious to all of them how deeply they loved each other and the idea of babies at Skyheart excited everyone. Wells’ Christmas dinner was amazing and everyone ended up staying late into the night at Skyheart, singing carols and telling stories.
New Year’s Eve and Day were spent in much the same way. They had a little party for the hands that stayed on the ranch instead of traveling to Billings for New Years. Clarke and Murphy would trade off singing songs, sometimes singing beautiful duets. New Year’s Day was spent mostly eating Wells’ fantastic ‘Football Watchin’ Food’ and watching the college bowl games.
Clarke’s 22nd birthday was equally relaxed and laidback, with everyone coming over for a big, early dinner. She was shocked to find out the hands had all chipped in to buy her her own acoustic guitar. She briefly panicked and asked Murphy if this meant he was leaving, but he just snorted and shook his head, saying he’d become real comfortable at Skyheart and had no plans to move on anytime soon. They all sang, laughed and played games well into the night.
For Clarke, the last few months had been perfect. She was in a healthy relationship with a wonderful man she loved with all her heart, she had a best friend she adored, a pseudo-grandfather who loved her as much as she loved him, and close friends. Life was finally starting to feel hopeful again.
***
Notes:
I apologize once again for disappearing. To be slightly tmi (but I feel you’re owed a bit of an explanation for being so amazing and sticking with me despite my absolute unreliability), my therapist and I have been talking for awhile about how a lot of people started shutting down their emotions after the US election as a coping mechanism and things have only gotten worse since that orange toddler went back to DC. So I’m pretty numb to my own life right now and it’s causing a lot of issues with concentration. But I’m still here & I’m still updating when my brain is working! Thank you guys for being here and please, please, please leave comments & kudos! 💖
Chapter 34: A Beautiful Surprise
Notes:
I’m still here! And I’m going to finish this book if it kills me (which I’m about 87% sure won’t happen)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
February arrived cold and snowy and brought all the hands back to Skyheart. Clarke was genuinely happy to see everyone back, but she missed the cozy winter days of curling up with Bellamy or sitting around watching Hallmark movie marathons with Wells. She hadn’t been feeling great for a few weeks and was incredibly tired, so much so that she started taking naps during the day to feel rested.
One morning during the last week of February, she dragged herself out of bed and into the kitchen, hoping to grab some food and go right back to sleep.
“Wells?” she called. “Is there breakfast?” Clarke didn’t see him in the kitchen, which was odd, but her nose led her to one of the microwaves, where she found eggs and bacon. She tried a bite of eggs and gagged, so she pushed them over to the side of the plate and gobbled down the bacon as quickly as possible. She had nearly finished when the kitchen door opened and Wells walked in, stamping his feet and carrying a plastic bag.
“Still not feeling well?” he asked. Clarke just shrugged, refusing to give up eating the bacon to bother answering. Wells shook his head and dropped the plastic bag in front of her as he hung up his puffer coat.
“What’s this?” Clarke reached for the bag, looking inside and seeing almost a dozen pregnancy tests, all different brands. She groaned and looked at him. “Seriously? I’m tired, not pregnant.”
“Yes, and being tired is a sign of pregnancy.”
“Says who?”
“Every website I’ve looked at talking about early pregnancy symptoms,” Wells replied.
“You’re looking up pregnancy symptoms?” Clarke asked. “Why?”
“Because you’re living in denial and Bell hasn’t noticed how tired you are yet,” he retorted, placing his hands on his hips and glaring at Clarke. “Trust me, as soon as he does, he’ll be taking you straight to the doctor and one of the first things they’ll test you for is pregnancy. Might as well get confirmation now.”
“Wells-”.
“Don’t.” Wells sat down across the kitchen island from Clarke and took her hands in his. “Sugar, I know the idea of a baby is scary. After what happened the last time you were pregnant, of course you’d be apprehensive, even if, in your heart, you know having a baby with Bellamy would be amazing. You’re scared. I get it. But you also need to be responsible, and if you are pregnant, we need to make sure we have everything you need. All those vitamins and special pillows and...you know, stuff.”
“Stuff, huh?” She was biting her lip, trying not to laugh at how flustered Wells was getting.
“Look, I know pregnant ladies need special things, I just haven’t read up on all of that yet! I’ve been focusing on the pregnancy signs, not the care of pregnant women. But I’ll start researching that as soon as you take the tests!”
Clarke squeezed his hands, looking down at the tests in front of her, her stomach roiling. She finally looked up at Wells, eyes wide, all artifice stripped away.
“I’m scared,” she whispered. “I want a baby with Bellamy more than anything, but... You’re right, the last time, I was so excited and I lost my baby. I can’t go through that again.”
“Oh, sugar.” Wells moved to sit beside her, hugging her close as tears spilled down her cheeks. “You know I can’t promise you that something won’t go wrong. Women lose pregnancies for all sorts of reasons. I can promise, though, that you’re not gonna lose this baby ‘cause some asshole throws you down the stairs. Besides, once Bell finds out, he’s probably gonna swaddle you up in cashmere and stick you inside one of those human-sized hamster balls to keep you safe.” Clarke barked out a surprised laugh, pulling back to wipe the tears off her face.
“We don’t know I’m pregnant.”
“And we don’t know you’re not. Until you take these tests, this is, like, Schrödinger’s pregnancy.”
“I’m both pregnant and not pregnant at the same time?” she laughed, shaking her head.
“Until you prove me otherwise, yes,” Wells stated. “You are now officially a quantum physics thought experiment.”
“Quantum mechanics, technically, but I get what you mean.” Wells laughed and hugged Clarke around the shoulders, kissing her temple.
“This thought experiment baby is gonna be so beautiful and smart! And I guess it’ll get some of Bell’s genes too, but honestly, your genes are enough!”
“You’re ridiculous,” Clarke laughed, reaching for the bag. She noticed her hand was shaking.
“It’s all right, sugar,” Wells said encouragingly. “I’m here for you the whole way. Except for peeing on the stick. That’s totally you.”
“Okay, okay, I can do this,” Clarke said, bouncing up and down a little to psych herself up. “Right? I mean, I want a baby with Bellamy. Sure, this is sooner than we planned, but I know he’ll be so excited. And raising a baby here, with my family…”. She nodded a little frantically. “So whatever it says is fine. It’s all fine.” Wells laced his fingers with Clarke’s and tugged her toward the newly decorated master bedroom.
“C’mon, sugar.” He led her in and they both sat down on the big bed, pouring out the different pregnancy tests and reading their directions.
“Okay,” Clarke said, “these two say to do it in the morning before you’ve gone to the bathroom.”
“Have you?” asked Wells. She shook her head.
“I just wanted food.”
“Oooh, I have two here that are first pee of the morning too!” Wells squealed, sounding way too excited. “How about those four and...oh, how about this one? The early detection one?”
“Okay, five,” Clarke nodded, holding them all. “That’s, that’s good, I mean, one might be a false positive and two, well, what if they say different things? Three, you could still get two saying pregnant and one saying not, and you can’t do four, ‘cause that’s an even number, what’re you supposed to think if you get two positives and two negatives? Five, five tests make sense. I’m rambling like a crazy person, aren’t I?”
“Little bit, yeah,” Wells said, sounding both sympathetic and like he was holding in a laugh. Clarke took in a deep breath and let it out.
“Okay, time to go pee on some sticks.”
“Let me know when you’re done,” he said. “Most of these are three minutes, so I’ll set the timer.” She nodded, still shaking a little as she closed the door to the master bathroom. She had to do a few breathing exercises she’d learned in therapy to stop herself from having a panic attack, but once she’d finally calmed down, she was able to take the tests. Clarke opened the door only a few minutes later and motioned him in.
“So now we wait.”
“Did you seriously turn them all over?” Wells asked, looking down at five tests all facing downward.
“Hey, if I hadn’t, I would have spent the entire time staring at them. This way is better.” She paced as Wells stared at his phone, counting down the minutes. Finally, he looked up.
“They’re all ready, sugar.” Clarke nodded, but didn’t move closer to the counter all the tests were on. Wells walked over to her and rubbed up and down her arms. “Want me to look?” he asked gently. She nodded jerkily, looking both terrified and excited. “I’ll look at all of them first, then I’ll tell you. Okay?” Clarke nodded again, then reached out and grabbed Wells’ arm before he could look at any of them.
“If, if they are, you know...positive, can you not tell Bell? Not yet, anyway. I can set up a quick doctor’s appointment for the next time you go to town, so we can be absolutely sure. I just... I don’t want to get his hopes up until it’s confirmed. Okay?” Wells nodded and smiled encouragingly at her.
“It’s gonna be fine no matter what it says,” he told her. Clarke nodded, then turned away as Wells started turning the tests over. After a few seconds, he cleared his throat.
“Well, they all have the same result.” He paused for a second. “Congrats, sugar. You’re pregnant.” Clarke whipped around and stared at the tests on the counter. They were all positive. She looked up at Wells, her eyes wide.
“I’m pregnant,” she whispered. Wells just nodded. A smile started spreading across her face and she started laughing, happy tears falling down her cheeks. “I’m pregnant!” Wells grinned and laughed, pulling Clarke into a tight hug.
“You’re gonna have a baby, sugar!”
“God, a baby,” Clarke said almost reverentially, like the idea of a baby was so impossible, the fact she was having one was unbelievable. “I’m going to be a mom. Oh, god, Wells, a baby!”
They were both laughing and crying, hugging each other in the master bath. Eventually, he pulled away, wiping the tears off his face, then hers, making her giggle.
“I’ll call the doctor and get you an appointment for tomorrow,” Wells said. “You can come with me to town and we can make sure everything’s going okay.”
Clarke nodded, still grinning, until a yawn overtook her. Wells laughed and kissed her cheek.
“Go back to sleep, sugar. I’ll take care of getting rid of the tests, you just get some rest.”
“Thank you,” she said, already crawling under the covers. “Hey, Wells?” she called out, sounding a little vulnerable.
“Yeah?”
“You’re the best, you know that?” Wells gave Clarke a sweet smile as he walked to the door, the pregnancy tests back in the bag.
“Get some rest, sugar. We’ll go to town tomorrow to make everything official.” He turned off the light and quietly closed the door, still smiling.
***
Clarke made up some bullshit reason for needing to go to town, concerning documents that needed to be notarized. Bellamy bought the excuse right away, which both amused and irritated her.
“I mean, I’m glad he didn’t question why I had to go, but he didn’t even seem to bat an eye. What if I had been lying?” Clarke was riding in Wells’ truck, ready for her doctor’s appointment.
“Sugar, you were lying,” he said, laughing.
“Exactly!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “And he just believed me! What is wrong with him?” Wells started laughing so hard, he almost drove the truck off the road. Clarke huffed, crossing her arms. “It wasn’t that funny.”
“Oh, lord have mercy, you’re gonna be one of those crazy, hormonal pregnant ladies, aren’t you?”
“I am not crazy! I’m...”. She trailed off, realizing what she’d been saying. She smiled, shaking her head. “Okay, fine, that’s probably fair. Plus, I’m still not used to people just automatically believing me.”
“Don’t even worry about it, sugar,” Wells said with a grin. “These next few months are gonna be hilarious.”
Clarke just rolled her eyes, smiling wryly. Once they reached town, Wells went to the stores while Clarke went to the doctor. The doctor did a blood test, confirming she was pregnant and offered to do an ultrasound, which she politely refused. She explained she wanted the father there the first time she had an ultrasound. This made the doctor smile and they set up an appointment in two weeks time to do an ultrasound and go over everything they can expect, all of the do’s and don’t’s, with Clarke being pregnant.
She and Wells talked about the baby the entire way back, both of them so excited. Wells decided to plan a separate, special dinner just for Clarke and Bellamy, so she could tell him he was going to be a father. When they got back, she tried to help Wells with the groceries, but he pushed her towards the door, saying she shouldn’t be picking anything up. She just laughed, going inside and taking off her coat, scarf, and hat. She heard a loud thud when she was hanging up her things in the bedroom.
“Wells?” Clarke called out. She didn’t hear a response, so she started walking towards the kitchen. “Wells? You okay? Did you drop something?”
She got to the kitchen and looked around, frowning. She didn’t see Wells anywhere. She circled the island and gasped. He was lying on the floor, completely still, blood trickling from a gash on his forehead.
“Oh my god, Wells!” Clarke cried out, panicked. She practically fell down beside him, searching for a pulse and giving a big sigh of relief when she found one. She looked around for the ranch radio to call someone for help when she was suddenly lifted up, crushed between a strong set of arms. She struggled, kicking out, as a sweet smelling cloth was slapped over her mouth and nose. Breathing it in, Clarke started weakening, feeling herself losing consciousness. The last thing she heard was a cruel laugh and the words-
“Found you, kitten.”
‘Cage! No!’
The world faded to black.
***
Notes:
Duh-duh-duh! (Cliffhangers…the absolute worst 🙃)
Chapter 35: Missing
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Bellamy
Bellamy was checking the fencing around the oil rigs, making sure the cattle couldn’t get close to the machinery. When he was first approached to let oil drilling happen on his land, he immediately said no. This was a ranch, not some oil conglomerate. But the offers kept pouring in and, after talking it over with Kane and his lawyers, he finally signed a contract to let oil wells be built on the ranch.
Bellamy still wasn’t a huge fan of the rigs, but he couldn’t deny the money was amazing. He had never been interested in making tons of money; he just wanted to keep his family’s ranch going. The money from the oil basically gave him the ability to buy anything and secure the ranch for the future. Now, with Clarke in his life, Bellamy was grateful, knowing he could buy his angel anything she wanted and support his (hopefully growing) family for the rest of their lives.
“Boss?” Kane’s voice came through the radio, crackling. The radios always seemed to have a problem when they were by the oil rigs. Bellamy didn’t know if the rigs somehow interfered with their connection, but everything was always breaking up and hard to hear.
“Yeah, Kane?” Bellamy responded. “Can you hear me?” He waited a few seconds before the radio crackled back to life, Kane’s voice dropping in and out.
“I think...wrong...big...gonna...out.” Bellamy couldn’t understand what Kane was saying.
“Say again?” he asked.
“I...wrong...big house...check it out.”
‘There’s something wrong at the big house?’ he thought, frowning. ‘Is that what he’s saying? No one should even be there, since my angel went to town with Wells.’ Bellamy checked his watch and was surprised at how late it was. ‘Maybe they’re back? But what could be wrong?’ He felt this cold weight drop in his stomach. What if something had happened? He needed to get back.
“Boys, I’m gonna head on back. It sounds like there might be something wrong at the big house.” The four men helping Bellamy check the fence glanced around at each other.
“We’ll come back with you, Boss,” David Miller said, exchanging a quick, worried glance with the other hands. “The fences are looking fine.”
Bellamy just nodded and swung his leg over the saddle, mounting his horse. The rest of the men mounted their horses and kicked them into a gallop, following behind him. When he was almost two miles from home, his radio crackled to life again. This time the voice was clear.
“Boss?” Kane said. “Can you hear me?” Bellamy pulled up on the reins, stopping Epona. The rest of the men pulled up around him to listen.
“I’m a few miles out, Kane. Finally got away from those damn oil rigs.” There was a brief pause, then Kane continued, sounding upset.
“You need to get to the big house as soon as possible. Something’s happened.” The men glanced at each other, fear and concern warring in their expressions. Bellamy felt like his lungs weren’t filling with oxygen as he gasped, trying to pull air in.
“What’d you mean, something’s happened?” he snapped. “Marcus, what’s going on?”
“Just get here as quick as you can,” he responded. “And bring as many men as you can find with you. We’re gonna need ‘em. I’ve already got around 30 hands here at the house.” Bellamy took a deep breath, looking at his men. They were all ready to ride.
“On our way.” He kicked Epona to a gallop, the rest of the hands following. When he got to the house, he saw groups of hands milling around, some with their horses. The snowmobiles and four wheelers had been brought out of the barns, sending a chill down his spine. There was only one reason they’d need the ATVs and that was if someone was lost on the ranch.
Bellamy handed his reins to one of the hands outside and rushed in the door. Kane was sitting on the coffee table in the living room and Monty, one of Clarke’s close friends, was using a first aid kit on someone on the sofa. Bellamy rushed over and saw Wells lying there, a bandage on his forehead and a bruise forming on his cheek.
“Wells.” Bellamy knelt beside the sofa and Wells’ eyes blinked open. He saw Bellamy and tears started forming.
“I’m so sorry, Bell. I tried...I tried to stop him.” Wells started crying and Kane laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“Take a breath, kid, and tell Bell what happened,” he said gently. Wells nodded, grimacing at the pain in his head. He took a few deep breaths, getting himself under control.
“It was that Cage Wallace, Bell. When Clarke and I got back from town, he was waiting on the back porch. I came up to the door to grab the rest of the groceries and he slammed the door forward, punching me and pushing his way into the kitchen. I tried to fight him, but he grabbed the butcher knife, hitting me over the head with the handle.”
“He needs to see a doctor, Boss,” Monty said. “It looks like he’s got a concussion and they should check for a skull fracture, just in case.”
“I’m fine!” Wells yelled angrily, trying to push everyone out of the way, but he could barely sit up. His eyes started fluttering and Kane pushed him back down on the sofa.
“Not gonna help anyone if you pass out,” he said gently. “Let one of the hands take you into town.”
“No!” Wells shouted. “I gotta stay, I gotta help find her!” He tried to get up again, but this time Bellamy pushed him down, keeping a hand on his chest.
“They’re right,” Bellamy told Wells. “You need to stay here. If you wanna help, you and Monty can help set up a search grid. And I promise you, we’re gonna find her.”
‘We have to find her,’ Bellamy thought, panicking. ‘Oh god, my angel is trapped with that monster. God only knows what he’s doing to her.’
Before he could get up, Wells grabbed Bellamy’s hand, pulling him closer.
“Bell... Fuck, she’s gonna be so mad I told you, but she was planning on telling you tonight... Clarke’s pregnant. She’s pregnant and that psychopath has her. I gotta go out there and help find her!” Kane and Monty wrestled Wells back down onto the sofa as Bellamy kneeled beside them, staring into space, in total shock.
‘My angel’s pregnant. She’s pregnant! Oh my god, that’s amazing! She’s gonna have our baby and...’. Bellamy’s thoughts trailed off as he realized the full implications of what Wells just told him. ‘But he has her. That monster has her. He could be hurting her, he could be...’. Bellamy couldn’t even complete that thought. He stood up, a fierce, angry look on his face. His hand were curled into fists, his nails digging into his palms.
“Kane?” Bellamy said, in a low, deadly voice.
“Yeah, Boss?” he answered, standing up.
“Start looking for tracks in the snow. Figure out which way that bastard went. Then start dividing up the hands. Teams of three or more, got it? Make sure everyone has radios. Find her.” Kane nodded and started to head out, then laid a hand on Bellamy’s shoulder, squeezing tight.
“We will find her, Bell,” Kane stated firmly. “He can’t have taken her far. The hands that were working in the barns would have heard a car or truck on the driveway. He’s still here, somewhere on the ranch. We’ll find them.”
Bellamy just nodded and Kane squeezed his shoulder again before he went outside. They could hear him yelling orders to the hands, explaining what happened and what they needed to do.
“Stay here with Wells,” Bellamy directed Monty, who has holding an ice pack on Wells’ head. He frowned, clearly upset he couldn’t join the search for his friend, but nodded at Bellamy. Wells looked up at him, tears filling his eyes again.
“I’m sorry, Bell. I’m so, so sorry. I should’ve protected her better. I-”. Bellamy cut him off, kneeling next to the couch again and taking Wells’ hand in his.
“This is not your fault. You hear me? He must’ve been watching us, figuring out when he could grab her. You did everything you could, Wells. We’ll find her. I’m not losing her. Or our baby. It’s not fucking happening.” He stood up, giving Wells and Monty a nod before walking out the door.
‘I don’t care what I have to do,’ Bellamy thought. ‘I’m getting her back. I’m getting my angel and our baby back. Even if I have to kill that bastard.’
When he walked outside, Kane was on a snowmobile, a murderous looking Murphy sitting behind him. There were two rifles strapped to the back. Bellamy walked over to the remaining snowmobile and picked up the revolver placed on the seat. He clipped the holster to his belt, checking the gun before sliding it in, then swung his leg over the seat. He gave Kane a nod, who started his snowmobile and headed off, following a potential path in the snow. Bellamy was following close behind.
‘Hold on, angel. I’m coming. Just hang on until I get there.’
***
Notes:
And another duh-duh-duh!
Chapter 36: Fight or Flight
Chapter Text
Clarke
Cold. Darkness and cold. A pounding inside her head. Clarke couldn’t figure out what happened or where she was. It was so cold. And there was no light anywhere.
‘Wh-what? What’s going on? Oh god, my head. Why does my head hurt so much? It’s so cold. Why would the house be so cold? Wells always keeps it at-Wells! He was hurt! Bleeding in the kitchen. And then...something happened... Why can’t I think? Why can’t I remem-wait, there was someone in the house. They grabbed me and-Cage! Cage was there! He hurt Wells, he put something over my face. I must have passed out. Oh god. Where am I? Where did he take me?’
Clarke groaned, trying to straighten out her sore body. She realized her feet were tied together and her hands were tied in front of her. There was something over her eyes, blocking out all the light. She tried to free her hands, squeeze them past whatever was holding them together, but all she felt was a deep pain. Her head was still pounding.
‘Where is he? If he was here, he would have started taunting and hurting me. He left me somewhere. Think, Clarke! Where could he have left you that no one on the ranch would find?’
She listened, but all she heard was wind blowing across thin, wooden walls. The boards were rattling. Clarke started wiggling her head, pushing the blindfold higher and higher until she managed to get it on her forehead. The tiny shack was dark, with the only light coming fm the cracks in the boards and under the door. She was on the floor against the back wall, only wearing her jeans, shoes, and a sweater, which explained why she was so cold.
‘This looks familiar. Are we still on the ranch? Then Bellamy will find me! He just needs time.’
Clarke looked around again, her eyes adjusting to the light. When she could finally see clearly, a shudder of fear went down her spine. The walls were covered with pictures. She was in almost all of them, but there were a few that just had the hands, the barns, and the big house. There were quite a few pictures of just Bellamy as well. The pictures were all recent, just January and February, but there were enough of them to cover all the walls. There weren’t any pictures taken from inside the house, but there were clearly a lot taken through the windows.
‘He’s been here for months!’ Clarke thought, terrified. ‘He’s been watching us!’
She felt bile rising in her throat and she took deep breaths to keep it down. The last thing she needed was to be stuck laying in her own vomit. She was briefly surprised she wasn’t gagged, but quickly figured out yelling wouldn’t accomplish anything. The wind would carry away her screams and if she started yelling for help, she was positive Cage would hear her. Being cold and tied up wasn’t ideal, but at least Cage wasn’t there to hurt her.
‘Where is he? He wouldn’t have gone to so much trouble, he wouldn’t have been watching the house, if he just planned on leaving me here to freeze.’
That thought stopped her for a second. Clarke tcould easily freeze if she was out here all night. The temperature had been diving into the single digits every night and she didn’t even have a coat or gloves. She could easily get frostbite on her fingers, toes, or face.
‘Okay, okay, let’s focus on problems I can solve. I can’t magically get a coat or blanket. First off, is there anything I can use as a weapon?’
Clarke looked around the shack, but everything was pretty minimal. There were planks of wood nailed to the walls to create benches and a table near the door with a small radiator under it. She couldn’t see what was on the table lying down, so she struggled to get upright, finally sitting up.
‘This must be one of those emergency shelters Bellamy told me about. They’re all over the ranch in case a storm comes up and the hands can’t make it to the main houses or the barns in time. They’re supposed to have water and packaged jerky, but I don’t see anything.’
She frowned, still looking around. She swung her tied legs around, getting them underneath her so she could shuffle to the table on her knees. There was a radio, but not one she could use to call someone on the ranch. Coils of rope covered an entire corner of the table and electrical tape was stacked next to it. There were rags, some long enough to use as a blindfold or gag, but nothing else. No knives, no scissors, nothing.
Clarke leaned back, bending her knees so she could sit on top of her legs. She started looking at the walls meticulously, floor to ceiling. Finally, near the back wall, underneath the bench, she saw three nail heads stick out of the wall. She grinned and shuffled over to the bench, swinging her legs back around so she was flat on the floor. She lifted her tied hands over her head and started using the nail heads to cut the rope.
It was slow-going. The nail heads weren’t sharp and the rope was thick. However, continuously moving her arms was keeping her warm, so Clarke just tried to focus on the rope and listening for any sounds of someone approaching the shack.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sawing at the rope; long enough that it was looser and she might be able to pull a hand free if the rope had a little more give. Clarke suddenly heard footsteps crunching in the snow outside. She quickly pulled her hands down and scooted toward the back wall, making sure her back was pressed against it. She put her hands over her abdomen to protect it and pulled her knees up to cover her hands and give herself more protection if necessary, curling up on the floor. After a minute, the door opened, blowing in snow, cold air, and Cage Wallace.
He walked in, not even looking at Clarke. She was shocked by his appearance. Cage always put in a huge effort to look polished and respectable. The man standing at the table had a scruffy beard and his dark hair was messy and greasy, hanging almost down his neck. He was dressed in layers, but the clothes weren’t bespoke, designer, or even name-brand. They looked old and wrinkled, with holes in his coat’s elbows and the knees of his snow pant’s. He dropped a heavy bag on the table, making Clarke jump.
“It’s about time you woke up,” Cage said, still not looking at her. “I was beginning to think I used too much chloroform. There were directions, something about the weight of the animal, how long you wanted it out, all a bunch of bullshit. But I knew I could do it.” He finally turned and sneered at Clarke. “Out of all the places you could have gone, why the fuck did you come to some western hellhole?”
“Because I knew you’d never come to a place like this,” she retorted. Cage’s eyes widened at her response, surprised she even answered at all. She sat up, still holding her hands on her abdomen and pulling her knees up closer to her body.
“How did you find me?” Clarke demanded. “I’ve been careful. No social media. No pictures online. I haven’t even googled you or your family.”
“Don’t you think I know that, you stupid bitch? Ever since you disappeared, we’ve had computer hackers searching for you. Your name, any search history that might lead us to you, scanning faces in pictures. They couldn’t find a thing.” Then Cage gave Clarke a mocking smile. “Well, they couldn’t find anything until some picture popped up of a couple at a Christmas tree farm in Billings. The little computer shits didn’t find the picture until the end of December. But there you were, in the background, smiling like you didn’t have a fucking care in the world.”
Cage turned to the wall of pictures hanging over the table, looking for one. Clarke had turned pale.
‘I didn’t even think about being in the backgrounds of pictures,’ she thought. ‘God, I’m such an idiot! If I had just stayed on the ranch, this never would have happened.’
But Clarke knew deep down that she couldn’t have stayed hidden away on the ranch forever. Eventually, she would have left to go to town or somewhere else and she couldn’t control whether people took pictures around her. As she was rationalizing, Cage tore a picture off the wall and stomped over to her, shoving it in her face. The focus was a young couple, grinning in front of a tree. However, in the background, clear as day, was Clarke smiling at Bellamy as Wells walked ahead of them. She turned her head away, not wanting to look at it.
“What’s the matter, kitten?” Cage asked sarcastically. “Don’t you like it? You look so happy, I’d think you haven’t been missing me at all.”
“I haven’t missed you,” Clarke spit out, glaring up at him. “I haven’t missed a single thing about you.” Cage looked shocked, then started laughing maliciously.
“Well, well. Looks like my little kitten has grown back her claws.” Faster than she could react, Cage backhanded her across the face. “Don’t worry, you worthless cunt. Soon you won’t have a single bad thing to say about me.” He started laughing again as he walked back to the table. Clarke’s eyes had filled with tears after that hit, but she refused to let them fall.
‘He won’t break me again. I’m stronger now. I have people who love me, who’ll be looking for me. I just need to stay strong until they get here.’
Clarke closed her eyes, sending up a silent plea to whoever was listening: let Bellamy find her. Let everyone at Skyheart find their way to this little shack.
***
Notes:
TW: verbal (& a moment of physical) spousal abuse
Okay, I’m going to try and get the next few chapters out quickly (basically not making you all wait a month for a new update). I’m not a super big fan of cliffhangers as I read, so it only seems fair to try and avoid super dramatic cliffhangers in my own writing.
Thank you guys again for your support and comments and kudos. I’m terrible at responding, but please know I’ve read every one and it means so much to me that people are leaving such wonderful comments. 💖
Chapter 37: Searching
Chapter Text
Bellamy
Bellamy jammed the breaks of the snowmobile, causing it to skid sideways before stopping. He jumped off, looking at the ground for any signs of tracks. The problem was that most of the tracks had been blown over by the cold wind and the ones that were left looked like they came from the cattle. He let out a frustrated growl, kicking hard at the snow. Kane pulled up, stopping his snowmobile next to Bellamy’s. He and Murphy got off, both looking at the snow-covered ground. Murphy had a dark look on his face as he walked away, trying to follow the tracks in the waning sunlight.
“Wind’s covering everything with those snow flurries we got this morning. There aren’t any tracks to follow here.” Bellamy wanted to scream in rage, howl his pain into the sky. He barely managed to keep it together, walking away from the others, clenching his hands into fists.
‘If he hurts her... If her hurts our baby...”. Bellamy tried to control his breathing as he heard the snowpack crunch with someone’s footsteps. Kane stopped next to him, staring out at the ranch. Bellamy could tell he was thinking the same thing he was: even if Wallace still had her on the ranch, it was a few hundred square miles. They would never find her in time.
“I can’t lose her, Marcus. I can’t.” Bellamy’s voice wavered and his eyes started to sting. Kane laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“We’ll find her. I know we will. You gotta have faith, Bell.”
“Faith?” Bellamy let out a humorless laugh. “What good has faith ever done this family? My momma had more faith than anyone I’ve ever known and that didn’t protect her from getting killed in her own damn car.”
“That’s not the type of faith I’m talking about, son,” Kane said. “Yes, Aurora had a deep and abiding faith in the Lord, but she also knew her beliefs couldn’t protect her from harm.”
“Then what good is-”. Kane raised his hand, cutting Bellamy off.
“I’m talking about the faith of believing in yourself, and, more importantly, believing in Clarke She’s strong, Bellamy. She can fight him off long enough for us to find her. She won’t let him get in her head again. And from everything she’s told us about this Wallace bastard, he’s gonna wanna brag about how brilliant he is that he found her. Have faith in Clarke, if you can’t in anything else.”
Bellamy was silent, then a single tear rolled down his cheek. He turned to Kane, his eyes filled with torment.
“I promised I’d protect her. I promised I’d keep her safe. And then she gets kidnapped right off my damn ranch!” Bellamy yelled. Kane took Bellamy by the shoulders and gave him a good shake.
“Now you listen to me, Bellamy Blake,” he said sternly, speaking to the little boy he helped raise, not the man he now worked for. “You couldn’t have known Wallace was watching the ranch. None of us could. Clarke won’t blame you for this and having a pity party for yourself is a waste of goddamn time. Focus on Clarke.” Bellamy nodded, taking in a shaky breath and trying to hold back the panic and tears. Suddenly, the ranch radio came to life.
“Boys?” they all heard Wells say. “Boys, can you hear me?” Bellamy and Kane raced over to Murphy, who had snatched up the radio as soon as it started crackling. Bellamy grabbed it from him and replied back with their group number; when Kane was dividing up all the hands, he gave each team a designated number and a ranch radio that they made sure was all tuned to the same frequency.
“This is 1,” Bellamy said. Quickly, all the other groups chimed in with their numbers, acknowledging they could hear Wells.
“Listen,” he said, “I’ve been thinking we’re looking at this all wrong. If that shitstain’s been watching us, that means he has to have been hiding somewhere on the ranch. We all would’ve noticed some stranger sleeping in the barns or sneaking into the bunkhouses, but what if he’s been staying somewhere else? He could be in one of the storm shacks. Stick a heater in there that runs on propane, you could stay in one for quite awhile.” Bellamy, Murphy, and Kane all looked at each other, starting to smile.
“That’s smart thinking, Wells,” Kane said. “Real smart. All right, here’s what we’re gonna do.” Kane started barking out orders, after Wells explained the grids he and Monty had divided the ranch into so they could search more efficiently. He assigned each team an area to search, making sure every team had at least one Skyheart veteran, someone who would know where the storm shacks were located.
“Those of you looking farther out, make sure you have enough gas to get yourselves there and back,” Kane ordered. “If you’re not sure, head on back to the barns and fill up gas cans to take with you. Make sure you all have enough layers on. No one be a hero. If you think you might get too cold, head back and grab as many layers as you need. We’re not stopping at night like we usually would. We’re gonna be searching through the cold, the dark. Be ready. Team 1 signing off.” Kane looked over at Bellamy, who gave him a nod.
“Let’s go,” he said. “We need to backtrack a little to find the first shack in our grid.” Bellamy, Kane, and Murphy all mounted their snowmobiles, revving the engines to warm them up.
‘We’re on our way, angel. I’m keeping my faith with you. Keep yours with me.’
***
Clarke
“Are you praying?” Cage laughed cruelly, pulling Clarke out of her thoughts of being rescued by Bellamy. “Jesus, you’re pathetic! Do you really think God will save you?”
“That’s not who’s going to save me.” Clarke said it quietly, but Cage clearly heard her because a look of fury crossed his face. He tore a picture of Bellamy off the wall and shoved it in her face.
“Him? You think he’s going to save you? Your piece of shit boyfriend? Oh, yeah, I know all about the two of you.” Cage turned, looking for another picture, before tearing down one that showed Bellamy sitting in an arm chair in the living room, his arms wrapped around Clarke as she sat on his lap, laughing happily.
“You really think your redneck cowboy’s coming to save you?” Cage said mockingly. “No one’s coming, you worthless cunt. No one ever has, no one ever will.”
Cage’s words pierced at the protective wall Clarke had placed around her heart, but they weren’t strong enough to actually hurt her. She knew the truth.
“Bellamy will come,” Clarke said, surprisingly calm. “He’ll always come for me.” Cage laughed and crumpled up the photograph, throwing it at her.
“You really think he cares about you?” Cage pretended to ask, mocking her. “No one cares. He’s just using you. All you are is something to stick his dick in until he gets bored and finds someone else. You and I both know you’re a terrible fuck. He’ll figure it out too. And then he’ll leave you. And you’ll be alone. Again.” Clarke just stared at the floor.
‘Don’t engage,’ she thought. ‘Do not engage. Don’t provoke him. Remember the rules. Don’t antagonize him. Eventually, he’ll get bored and leave you alone.’
“What?” Cage sneered. “Lost those claws already, kitten? Or do you just know I’m right? I know you better than anyone, you stupid bitch. Bellamy Blake doesn’t give a shit about a mousy, useless cunt like you.”
“Bellamy loves me and I love him!” Clarke shouted, unable to help herself. “Not that you could ever understand something like that. You’re incapable of loving anyone or anything. You’re a fucking sociopath!” She froze, aware her outburst would have consequences. But she honestly couldn’t help it. She could not let Cage poison what she had with Bellamy.
For his part, Cage just stared at her in utter shock, unable to believe his scared, broken down wife would yell at him. He growled low in his throat and took two giants steps toward Clarke, grabbing her hair in his fist and pulling hard. She yelped as he lifted her to her knees, then punched the side of her face. It split her lip open and caused blood to trickle down her chin. He pulled her face closer to him and stared right into her eyes.
“I broke you once before, kitten, and I can do it again,” Cage snarled. “Keep your fucking mouth shut or you’re going to force me to do something drastic.” He released Clarke’s hair and she fell, banging her hip on the hard floor.
“Your faggot friend should have been more careful getting rid of the trash. He left these right on the top.” Cage reached into his bag and pulled out five pregnancy tests. He threw them at Clarke, where she was laying on her side on the floor. From her position, she could see all the positive tests she had taken. She felt all the blood drain from her face and finally felt the terror she associated strictly with Cage start to fill her. When she looked up at him, he just smiled cruelly.
“You know I can get rid of that little bastard of yours just like I did before,” he said. “So you’re going to cooperate or I’ll make sure you lose the most important thing you have.”
Clarke instinctively curled in on herself, hoping against hope someone found her soon.
***
Notes:
TW: physical and verbal abuse
Chapter 38: Ranting and Raving
Notes:
Please, please, PLEASE read the trigger warnings in the End Notes if any part of the story so far has been triggering to you
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke
Cage was pacing the shack, which was rather difficult since the place was so small. Clarke had pushed herself over to the corner, where she was curled over her center, the one place she had to protect over everything else. Cage was muttering to himself and she recognized he was about to have a full-blown tantrum.
“You disappearing caused me a lot of shit, you know. I got hauled into the police station five times!” Clarke frowned, confused. Cage suddenly hurled a length of rope at her. The thick knot slammed against her eyebrow, splitting it open, and Clarke felt a warm trickle of blood start to slide down her face.
“Those idiots thought I killed you! Every time they dragged me in, they’d show me all the pictures you took. Every bruise, every cut. Why the fuck would you do that to me? Why the hell did you take pictures? None of this would have happened if you had just fucking behaved!”
“That’s not true,” Clarke mumbled quietly, but Cage heard her. He knelt in front of her, glaring.
“What the fuck do you mean? Answer me, you stupid bitch!”
“Every time I had to go to the hospital, they took pictures of my injuries,” Clarke spit out, shocked he didn’t know that. “After the third time, they started asking me if something was going on at home, if i was safe. I always told them I was, I wasn’t in any danger at home, but I could tell they knew. I even talked to the police multiple times when the hospital called them. Never once did I say anything. I never said you hit me, you cut me, you raped me. I kept all your damn secrets.” Cage sneered at her, standing back up to tower over her.
“It’s not rape if we’re married,” he said. Clarke immediately, but completely inadvertently, scoffed. She turned her eyes to Cage, who glared. He reached down and wrapped his hands around her throat.
“You have something you wanna say, you ugly cunt? Huh? Something you wanna tell me?” He squeezed harder, cutting off Clarke’s air and lifting her off the ground. She knew he was going to leave bruises she tried to kick out at him. When he finally dropped her back onto the floor, Clarke took in great, shuddering gasps of air, coughing hard as tears leaked out of her eyes. Cage laughed and stomped on her right arm, causing a loud cracking sound. Clarke screamed in pain. She pulled her arm as close to her body as possible with the rope still around her wrists.
“Don’t interrupt me again, bitch, or next time will be worse.” Cage walked over to the table and slowly, deliberately, pulled a long knife out of the bag. He set it near the edge of the table so Clarke could see it and the implied threat it represented.
‘I have to get out of here. I’m running out of time. I can’t just wait for Bellamy to rescue me, I have to do something myself,’ Clarke thought desperately. Keeping her right arm still, she started twisting her left wrist inside the rope tying her hands together. The rope was looser from the nail heads, but it still hurt, chafing her skin. She knew her wrist would soon start bleeding, so she hitched up her knees to hide her hands and started slowly, painfully, twisting her right wrist as well.
“Every time those fucking cops would bring me in, the press would show up. Always asking about you, the media darling.” Cage growled that last part and dug around in his bag, pulling out a flask. Clarke could smell the whiskey from the corner she was curled up in. He took a long swig, then turned to her, shaking it.
“It’ll keep you warm. Might hurt that little bastard you’re carrying, but I don’t give a fuck.” Clarke slowly shook her head, trying to avoid meeting his eyes. Cage let out a big, over dramatic sigh and pulled a dirty blanket out of the bag, throwing it at her. She cautiously reached for it, her right arm screaming in pain. She managed to pull it over herself, realizing Cage had just given her the ability to work even harder at freeing her wrists, then her ankles. He wouldn’t be able to see a thing.
“Thank you,” she murmured quietly, still staring at the floor.
‘Let him think I’m falling back into my old survival patterns; at least this way he can rant all he wants and hopefully forgets I’m here. Especially if he gets drunk and it looks like he’s well on his way,’ Clarke thought, watching Cage carefully. He had brought out a bottle of whiskey and set it on the table. It wasn’t his typical top-shelf brand, which confused her, but she had a feeling Cage was going to tell her everything.
“Father was furious at me! Not you, me! Told me I better find you and bring you back or he was going to cut me off. No money, no houses, nothing! All because the public loves you. The gun violence survivor. The precious little girl who lost her family. The darling wife who tragically lost her baby. You’re a goddamn Lifetime movie. You couldn’t do a thing wrong in their fucking eyes!” Cage took a long swig from the flask, continuing to pace the shack.
“I kept telling the fucking cops and the goddamn reporters that I didn’t know where you were, that you’d abandoned me! But then all the press could talk about were the charges that were dropped. The restraining order. You were always the fucking victim! No one gave a damn about me, how I felt, how you betrayed me by talking to the cops!”
Clarke started twisting her left wrist even faster, recognizing the signs that Cage was losing control. She felt the blood dripping down her hand but she couldn’t stop. Not now.
“Father stopped having me come to his rallies. Said I was a distraction. It’s like he forgot the reason I had to stop coming to rallies in the first place was because of you!” Cage suddenly swung his fist at Clarke’s face, punching her left eye and the socket. She grunted and fell against the wall but didn’t cry out.
“If you had just done what you were told, if you had just obeyed me, none of this would be happening! It’s all your goddamn fault!” Cage swung his fist again, but Clarke quickly turned her head. His hit grazed her cheekbone, but missed landing directly. Cage looked down at her with hatred in his eyes. He spit on her, then walked back over to the table, downing the rest of the flask.
‘I don’t have much time left,’ Clarke thought, trying not to panic. ‘He’s going to start with the knife soon. If I could just...get my...hand...”. Suddenly, her left hand came free from her bindings. She reached down towards her ankles, trying to move slowly so she wouldn’t attract Cage’s attention.
“We were good, weren’t we?” Cage suddenly turned back around to face Clarke. She froze, praying he was too drunk to notice her shoulders were uneven. He grasped the neck of the whiskey bottle, chugging some of it down, before swaying slightly and collapsing on one of the benches.
“We were happy, once. We loved each other. Why can’t we just go back, kitten? We’ll tell the press it was all a misunderstanding. You ran away, thinking I was going to hurt you, when really, I just missed you so damn much I was willing to violate the restraining order. Father already has it all worked out. The press release has already been written.” He nodded to himself as if Clarke had already agreed. “You’ll come back and everything will finally go back to normal.” Cage took another long swig of whiskey, grimacing as it went down.
“Father won’t give me my allowance until you come back. He’ll pay for whatever I need to find you and bring you home, but that’s it. He took my money. My fucking money! How am I supposed to live without it? I need that money and that means you’re coming back.” He suddenly sat up on the bench, glaring at Clarke. She had almost freed her legs, but stopped moving as he continued to stare at her.
“This is what’s going to happen. We’re going to get off this piece of shit ranch. We’re going to Nashville for a family meeting. Father will explain what you need to do, but for now, you just need to stand next to me while I...”. Cage sneered, as if unable to finish. Finally, he coughed and shook his head.
“I’ll say some bullshit apology at a press conference, you’ll forgive me and you’ll start attending all of Father’s rallies again. You have no idea what you’ve cost him. Everyone always asking about you, asking how can he be a good president if he can’t even control his own son. How can he negotiate with foreign leaders if they think he’s weak? You’re coming back with me or...”. Cage left the threat dangling, pointedly staring at Clarke’s abdomen, currently covered by the blanket.
“I’ll even let you keep that bastard you’re carrying. We’ll tell everyone it’s ours, our make-up baby, our second chance baby. You’ll raise the little shit and any other snot nosed brats I decide we’re going to have. Understand?” Clarke just nodded, still working on the knots around her ankles. She almost had the rope off, but she needed a little more time. She decided to take a gamble.
“What about Bellamy?” Clarke asked. “He’s not just going to let you take me or his baby. He’ll come for us and I know he’ll talk to the press.” Cage slowly started to smile, an evil, malicious smile.
“Well, then. I guess I’ll just have to kill him.” He stood up, swaying slightly, and walked over to the table, pulling a gun out of the bag. “Why don’t I go take care of that problem right now? It’s not like you’re going anywhere.”
Cage walked out of the shack with the gun, slamming the door behind him. Clarke finally got her legs free and sat up on one of the benches, rubbing the pins and needles feeling out of her legs.
‘I might have bought myself some time, but what about Bellamy? Jesus, if anything happens to him, it’ll be my fault. I have to stop Cage.’
Clarke stood, her legs in pain and her right arm sending out a shooting burst of agony whenever she moved it. She hobbled over to the table, digging around in Cage’s enormous bag one handed, looking for another gun and a coat. Not finding anything, she grabbed the knife off the table, gulping down bile as she stared at a blade she recognized. A blade that had so often cut into her own flesh. Well, not tonight. Tonight, this blade had a different target and she wouldn’t miss.
‘I have to do this. For Bellamy. For our baby. ... For me. I have to stop him.’
***
Notes:
TW: multiple instances of physical abuse, including punching and breaking a bone, and multiple instances of verbal abuse
***
So this is still cliffhanger-y. Sorry. But I really wanted to get these chapters out soon. I also wanted Clarke to take ownership of her own rescue. While it’s totally fine to wait and have faith that someone else will come (& we know Bellamy will always come for her), it was really important to me that Clarke would try to save herself. As a DV survivor, finally fighting back and taking back the power that had been stolen from her means a lot. It’s also incredibly symbolic of the healing she’s gone through while at Skyheart and the new person she is now. Despite everything, Clarke’s not a victim anymore. She’s a survivor.
Let me know what you’re thinking! 💖
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