The Maze Of Memories

by jadezstars

Summary:

Regulus and eleven other boys and girls wake up trapped inside a maze with no memories of their pasts and no knowledge of their identities, save for their own names.

A month later, a mysterious boy appears in the maze—and the only thing he remembers is Regulus’ name.

Will his presence help them find the exit, or will it make their situation even more difficult than it already is?

Notes:

This story is entirely insipired by The Maze Runner Trilogy by James Dashner.
Most of the characters mentioned are from the Harry Potter Series.

It is not essential to have seen or read any of the Maze Runner trilogy to read this story, as I only drew inspiration from it.
If you have, you’ll likely notice many differences from the original plot, as I tried to incorporate the world of Harry Potter as much as I could.

All references to the Maze Runner belong to its original author.

Chapter 1: Amnesia

Regulus woke to the sound of a voice.

 

His voice.

 

“Regulus!” it screamed repeatedly, pervading every corner of his brain like heavy fog during a storm.

 

“Regulus, what did you do?”

 

Had he actually woken up?

 

Or was his mind simply deceiving him?

 

“Regulus.” 

 

“Tell me. What did you do?”

 

“Who are you?” Regulus inquired, tone more rattled than he intended. 

 

He had been begging for weeks to know.

 

He wanted an answer.

 

He deserved it.

 

The voice turned more desperate.

 

“What did you do?”

 

“Regulus!”

 

“What did you do? What did you—

 

 

Regulus snapped his eyes open. 

 

A nightmare, he said to himself.

 

Another one. 

 

It was never going to end.

 

He knew that.

 

He had surrendered to them.

 

“You screamed the entire night,” he heard someone breathe.

 

Regulus didn’t even have to turn to know who the voice belonged to.

 

Barty was right beside him. He always was.

 

Regulus swallowed and finally sat up straight. He felt his body tremble slightly as he did. “Sorry,” he murmured.

 

“Was it different today? Or the same?” Barty asked him concernedly.

 

Regulus shook his head. “Still the same one.”

 

Barty furrowed his brow, considering the information. “It’s a bit…weird, don’t you think?” he said eventually. “Having the exact same dream for a month. Not really common, you know?” 

 

Regulus exhaled and gave a faint nod.

 

He knew. Of course he did.

 

“I know,” he mumbled, resigned. He carded a hand through his black curls, brushing them out of his eyes. “Don’t really know how to stop it, though.”

 

Barty smiled faintly, closing the small distance between them. “It’s probably just a response to trauma,” he said, resting one hand on Regulus’ knee in reassurance. “I mean, look at us. Trapped inside a maze, with people we don’t even know. It’d be surprising if we weren’t messed up. Also—let’s not forget about the amnesia.” He gave a sour laugh. “Honestly? We’re doing better than I thought we would.”

 

Regulus knew he was right. He knew he wasn’t the only one dealing with things inside the maze.

 

Barty, especially, seemed way more affected than him; his anxiety had worsened so much over the course of a month that he had even looked up at the sky once and begged for pills to ease his panic attacks.

 

No one ever sent them. 

 

Despite all this, Regulus still had the nagging feeling that he was the one struggling the most out of everyone.

 

Not that he could show it to anyone, obviously. Weaknesses weren’t allowed in Regulus’ life. 

 

Never.

 

“Should we ask them to send you something?” Barty asked after a moment of silence. His hand was firm on Regulus’ knee, causing him to nearly flinch. “Like some sleeping pills?”

 

Regulus huffed a laugh. “They won’t, Barty, you know that,” he said bitterly. “Besides. I can handle it.”

 

He lifted his gaze toward the wrinkled ceiling of the tent and drew a deep breath.

 

He could handle it. 

 

He could.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The camp had officially become their home.

 

They’d decided to build it over a piece of ground between two maze walls, making it especially small, but still fitting. 

 

At its center was a huge firepit. Around it, they had set up tents they had found during one of their searches. There weren’t enough for all twelve of them, so they took turns; some nights, they slept inside. Other nights, they stayed by the fire. They’d also built a tiny laundry area and a very efficient cooking area—both essential for their survival and wellbeing. 

 

They were proud of the job they’d done. It was the least they could do to hold on to the last threads of their sanity, considering the situation they were in.

 

A month earlier, instead of waking up in the comfort of their beds, they had arisen inside an endless, terrifying maze—with towering stone walls that seemed to graze the sky and infinite corridors that all looked exactly the same. 

 

Everyone had woken in pairs; some in the same corridor, some in adjacent ones. There hadn’t been any clear pattern. 

 

Regulus was the only one to awaken utterly alone. Shivering. Weak. In the middle of a sombre, gloomy corridor, where the wind howled violently and no glimmer of moonlight shone through.

 

They didn’t know why they were there or who had put them there. No one ever came. Food and supplies appeared sometimes between some corridors, but nothing more. 

 

No voices, no answers. 

 

The worst part wasn’t even the fact that they were trapped there. Their memories had been completely erased. Vanished. 

 

No one could remember their past, their families, their friends. Nothing. Their minds were blank voids with no information. 

 

The only detail they did recall was their name; one small piece of a life they couldn’t manage to grasp.

 

Regulus remembered vividly his first day in the maze. The haze of fear, confusion, and helplessness he had felt was something he wouldn’t wish upon his worst enemy. 

 

Things got better on his second day. 

 

He wandered through the maze, searching desperately for water and something to wrap around his arm. He had a deep, painful scratch that was bleeding, though he couldn’t remember how he’d gotten it. Hours later, he stumbled upon Barty, and the moment he did, all the fear and anxiety dissipated from his body. Like a proper magic trick.

 

After that first encounter, they never left each other’s side. Never. They were like calamities; inseparable. Where one was, the other was too.

 

Over the next few days, they found the others—slowly, one by one—and their small group of twelve finally came together.

 

They tried to harmonise as they built the camp and set rules to cohabit, but it instantly became clear they weren’t all going to get along. Arguments over supplies and routines escalated too frequently, and their differences in personalities came to light within days. 

 

After the one hundredth consecutive quarrel, the group officially split in half.

 

Regulus found comfort in Barty, Evan, Pandora, and Dorcas. They felt familiar in a place that felt anything but. Despite their remarkably different characters, they formed a small, protective family; if you had a problem with one of them, you had a problem with all of them.

 

The other group was led by Sirius. His right hands were Remus and Lily, with Mary, Frank, Marlene, and Peter rounding up the rest. They were more organized, serious. Their searches were precise and detailed.

 

Sirius was the worst of them all. He was usually the one to spark arguments, and once he started, no one could really stop him. No one, but Remus. Regulus suspected there might have been something going on between them, though he didn’t care enough to investigate. 

 

Regulus and Sirius were the ones who fought the most. Regulus didn’t know when his dislike for Sirius had begun. Perhaps it had always been there. Sirius was too loud, too irritating. Too—different. 

 

Most of their disagreements started from nothing and then escalated to full-on fights. Sometimes, they didn’t even know why they were arguing. They just did. Like two stars colliding and causing a natural disaster.

 

Still, Barty had once pointed out that some of their features were similar; the sharpness of their cheekbones and the cut of their eyes, he’d said. 

 

Regulus had wholeheartedly disagreed.

 

Nothing about Sirius was like him.

 

Despite their clashing opinions, on one thing they all unanimously agreed: they had to find an exit and return home. 

 

They truly tried everything. 

 

Screaming. Begging for help. Thrashing everything they came across. In desperation, they even tried climbing the thick ivy that was wrapped around the stone walls surrounding them. 

 

Unfortunately, it soon became clear that their only hope was to find an actual exit, which became their main mission each day they woke. 

 

They called them “the searches.”

 

Every morning, after breakfast, they explored each section of the maze thoroughly, hoping—and praying—to discover a hidden door or passage that could lead them out of that nightmare. 

 

They’d set up a calendar with two different kinds of searches. Some days, they’d have the so-called “supply searches” in which they focused on finding food, water, weapons, clothes—anything useful.

 

Anything they’d let them find, at least. 

 

The other kind of searches were called the “exit searches”, in which—as the name suggested—they looked for a way out.

 

Sirius and his group weren’t particularly fond of the supply searches, too eager and desperate to find an exit quickly and escape from that torment.

 

Regulus and his group, on the other hand, especially liked them. “I’d rather die here with a pack of biscuits than get out and find no food waiting for me,” Dorcas once said during an argument with Sirius.

 

Evan and Barty laughed about it for two days.

 

Like every other morning, Regulus was slowly nibbling at his breakfast, his eyes fluttering repeatedly from how sleepy he felt. He honestly wished he could hide inside his tent and nap for the rest of the day. 

 

“Did you manage to sleep today?” Dorcas asked him casually after gulping down an entire cup of water. 

 

Regulus hummed faintly. “Definitely more than yesterday.”

 

Dorcas gave him a sincere smile. “That’s good.” She turned and grabbed a piece of bread from the food supplies, sighing loudly. “I’m so fucking tired of eating bread. We need to organize a supply search as soon as possible.”

 

Regulus huffed a weary laugh. “Tell that to Sirius.”

 

“Oh I will. Again.” She arched one brow. “You think I’m scared of him?”

 

“No,” Regulus chuckled and shook his head. He knew Dorcas feared no one at camp. “But we’ll probably argue for like—an entire morning.” His voice was funnily muffled by the bread in his mouth.

 

“Well.” Dorcas grinned. “I don’t care. I’m not looking for an exit with an empty stomach. Also—,” she gave him a soft smack on the head, “don’t speak with your mouth full.”

 

Regulus narrowed his eyes but still pressed his lips together to keep from smiling.

 

Much to his own displeasure, he’d grown quite fond of her. Of everyone, really; Barty, Evan, Pandora. He enjoyed their company, as much as it pained him to admit it.

 

“Dora,” Evan suddenly called, drawing Regulus’ attention. “We’ve talked about this already. Stop playing with them. We need them. You know that.”

 

Pandora stared up at him with a glare. Regulus noticed a chunk of white petals lying in her hands. “I’m not playing with them, Evan,” she countered. “I’m working for all of you, actually.”

 

Evan shook his head, though a fond smile still appeared across his lips. “Sure you are.” He looked over toward Regulus and Dorcas and asked, “Is Barty still sleeping?”

 

Regulus nodded. “Apparently I screamed the entire night because of the nightmares,” he whispered as he began toying nervously with the bread crumbs on his clothes. It was an automatic body reaction to his nightmares that he unfortunately couldn’t control. “I told him to sleep a bit more.”

 

There was an awkward silence.

 

“It’s not your fault, Reg,” said Pandora after several moments with a reassuring smile. “I’m sure Barty doesn’t mind.”

 

Regulus harshly bit his lower lip. 

 

He knew that. Obviously, he knew that. 

 

Still, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling some sort of guilt or embarrassment whenever the topic of his nightmares came up in conversations. 

 

It was inevitable.

 

“Are you idiots talking about me?” Barty announced loudly as he stepped out of his tent. His dark hair was a complete mess, flying up in the air as though he’d been electrocuted. Still annoyingly handsome, Regulus thought as he eyed him from the corner of his eye. “Rude. What’s for breakfast?” 

 

“Bread,” Regulus replied idly as he bit another piece. “Your hair looks terrible.”

 

Barty clicked his tongue. “Yeah, not eating that.” He winked. “And thank you for the compliment.” 

 

Evan let out a quiet chuckle. “I left some fruit for you over there.” He pointed his chin to a spot near the fire.

 

Barty exhaled dramatically, nearly fake-crying. “Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite?” he said, darting toward the fruit and eagerly pouring some berries in his hands.

 

”No,” replied Evan. “Cause it would be a lie. Regulus is your favorite.”

 

Barty gasped loudly—a proper exaggeration—making everyone howl in laughter. “That’s not true!”

 

Regulus chuckled lightly and closed his eyes. He truly enjoyed this part of the morning. Breakfast was probably the only moment he relished out of the entire day.

 

He opened his eyes again and turned his head to glance at the other side of the firepit, where the other group currently was.

 

Sirius was sitting by the fire, chattering with Remus and Lily as he quickly finished the last bits of his breakfast. “So,” Sirius started as he chewed a piece of what Regulus assumed was an apple. After all, they didn’t have a wide variety of options regarding food. “What should we do today?”

 

“Sleep,” Remus replied before taking a sip of water from his cup. His dark eye bags were visible even from afar.

 

Sirius gave him a warm laugh. “Yeah, right.”

 

Lily giggled, covering her mouth politely before swallowing her food. “Well, that’s an idea. But, anyway—I don’t remember where they’re going today,” she said, tilting her head and pointing it to Regulus’ group.

 

Sirius gulped down another piece of apple, his expression hardening at once. “I’ll ask Evan which section they plan on searching and then we’ll decide from there,” he said as he turned his head.

 

His cold eyes briefly met Regulus’. 

 

Regulus clenched his jaw and snapped his head around. A violent rush of rage washed over him at the mere sight of Sirius.

 

It was maddening—how much this boy had gotten under his skin. As though the corners of the star he was named after had slashed into Regulus’ flesh, pouring venom into his veins.

 

Ironic, really. Having such a powerful and rare name, and sharing it with someone you wholeheartedly despised. A sick joke of the nature—Regulus was sure.

 

But of another thing he was certain.

 

As much as their names both came from the stars, they couldn’t have been more different.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

“I wonder if we’ll ever find it. The exit, I mean,” Pandora said with her usual sweet voice. She had a small pout on her lips as she spoke.

 

They’d been walking for over an hour now, their usual daily search underway. The sun shone high above their heads, ruthlessly blinding them. 

 

For some odd reason, it felt brighter and hotter than usual, Regulus thought as he wiped some drops of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.

 

“I mean, there has to be one somewhere,” Evan said as he stared down at the small map in his hands.

 

They had two maps in total at camp: one belonged to them, the other to Sirius’ group. They had divided the maze into eight sections to make it easier for them to map.

 

Section number one was the one where their camp was built, with sections two and three right beside it. Section four and five were the biggest ones, as they included the central part of the maze. The remaining ones—six, seven, and eight—were identical to the first three, but on the opposite side.

 

Every evening, after their searches, they would gather around the fire and piece together the new corridors and dead ends they had discovered during the day.

 

It was the only thing that brought the two groups together; the only moment where they had to truly tolerate each other.

 

Theories about the real reason why they were trapped there also came up in the evenings.

 

Remus was a firm believer that they were part of an experiment, and most of them agreed. Barty had even once joked about them being the ones destined to save humanity. They had all laughed about it. 

 

Regulus didn’t care much for theories.

 

He was smart, yes.

 

But his mind was too absorbed by his nightmares to be interested in anything else. He had been having them since the very first day he’d woken up in the maze, and they never changed.

 

The same male voice screaming his name. 

 

It was terrifying.

 

And oddly…heartbreaking.

 

He never recognized it. He probably never would. After a month, he had given up trying to grasp its significance. 

 

“Holy shit,” Evan exclaimed suddenly, snapping Regulus away from his thoughts. Evan had stopped staring down at the map and instead rushed toward the nearest stone wall surrounding them. “Look!” he added, pointing his finger at a small red symbol painted on the stone.

 

Everyone promptly darted forward.

 

The symbol was strange; a triangle enclosing a circle, with a vertical line cutting through both right in the middle. Something they had never seen before.

 

“Now, that’s interesting,” Dorcas said as she stared intently at the stone, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

 

Pandora squinted and inched closer, brushing her fingers against the wall. “It looks like a drawing,” she pointed out. “Pretty.”

 

Evan pursed his lips. “Did it appear today? I don’t think it was here yesterday.”

 

“Maybe we just didn’t see it,” said Dorcas, raising one of her shoulders.

 

Evan hummed. “Maybe.”

 

“Yes, yes. Extremely fascinating,” Barty huffed in annoyance and rolled his eyes, watching the scene from behind them. “Can we keep walking?”

 

Dorcas threw him a poisonous glare. “You’re so fucking annoying,” she spat as she stepped away from the wall, swiftly followed by Pandora and Evan.

 

Unlike them, Regulus didn’t move. 

 

His body refused to do so. He stood frozen in front of the stone, eyes fixed and unwavering on the uncanny red drawing as though hypnotized. He wasn’t even blinking. He didn’t feel the need to. 

 

His brain was simply telling him to look. 

 

Look. Look. Look.

 

He edged closer and closed the distance with the wall.

 

Look. Look. Look.

 

His eyes flitted uncontrollably from the straight line in the middle, to the circle around it, and then to the edge of the triangle, unable to stop.

 

He kept on looking. And looking. And looking—

 

“Reg?”

 

He felt a warm hand rest on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “Are you alright?” Barty asked him, his tone evidently concerned.

 

Regulus blinked rapidly and shook his head, as though attempting to wake himself from a trance. He furrowed his brow in bewilderment. He had no idea what had just happened.

 

He assumed the accumulated exhaustion from his nightmares was probably causing his mind to hallucinate.

 

He quickly stepped away from the wall and gave Barty a clipped smile. “Yeah, sorry,” he whispered. “I thought I saw something.”

 

Barty gave him another gentle pat on the shoulder and then prodded him to walk and follow the small trail of petals Pandora had left on the ground. 

 

That was why the flowers were so essential. The petals were one of the quickest ways for them to trace their path back to camp. It was a simple but effective method.

 

“So,” Pandora said after several hours, knocking her shoulder with Regulus’. “Don’t you guys also think that Remus is extremely hot? So hot. And clever. Also very kind. The perfect guy, really.” She fluttered her eyes mischievously. “Right, Reg?”

 

Regulus gave a loud, resigned sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please don’t start.”

 

For reasons unknown to him, Dorcas and Pandora had recently started pairing him together with Remus.

 

Remus was definitely the kindest and calmest person from the other group. He was undeniably handsome, too. Regulus had eyes, obviously. So, really, he shouldn’t be complaining. 

 

Still—Regulus felt completely numb whenever the topic of feelings came up in conversations. Romantic feelings, at least. 

 

Sometimes he wondered if he’d ever been in love in the life he couldn’t remember. Perhaps the numbness was his heart’s way of telling him he was already taken. Or maybe he simply…wasn’t capable of loving another human being. 

 

He wasn’t sure he was ever going to find out.

 

“Oh, c’mon,” Dorcas teased with a smirk. “Don’t deny it. He’s definitely the most attractive guy at camp. And I like women, so.” 

 

Barty coughed. “After me, maybe.”

 

“Yeah, right,” Dorcas chuckled. Barty flipped his middle finger at her, laughing. 

 

“Not my type,” Regulus replied flatly with a shrug, hoping to conclude the conversation quickly. “Besides, I think Sirius would actually murder me. Even more than usual.”

 

“You think something’s going on between them?” asked Dorcas, frowning. She appeared to be contemplating the possibility. “Never really thought about it.”

 

Barty let out a dramatic gasp. “We’re falling behind, guys. This isn’t good.” He placed a hand on his forehead in faux desperation. “They’re starting to procreate. We need to act fast.”

 

Evan snorted faintly. “Right. As if you’d date any of us,” he said, glancing down toward the loyal map in his hands.

 

Barty’s eyes, instead, went to Regulus. Regulus felt his stare on him as he whispered, “Right. As if.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

“HELP!”

 

“HELP ME!”

 

It wasn’t normal to hear voices in the maze. One distinct thing about it had always been its utter silence.

 

In their first two weeks there, they’d been extremely cautious during the searches. They didn’t know if something—or someone—was hidden within the sombre corridors where they lived. They had prepared weapons—or what little they could find—like knives and hatchets, in case something decided to suddenly attack them.

 

Nothing ever showed up.

 

No one to kill them, or torture them.

 

It was just them, the maze, and its endless silence.

 

They still took some knives with them on searches as a precaution, but they weren’t as frightened of the maze as they had been in those first days. 

 

It only took a single scream for that to change.

 

“Did you guys hear that?” Dorcas asked shakily, drawing her knife out of the pocket of her jeans. 

 

“PLEASE! HELP!”

 

Regulus halted on his heels, his eyes widening in sudden surprise. A sense of dread welled up inside him at the sound of the unknown voice. “Yes,” he murmured.

 

Pandora’s hands had begun shaking, causing her petals to fall all over the ground. “Maybe the others got hurt and need help,” she said in a thin voice.

 

“PLEASE!”

 

The words sounded agonising. As though someone were dying from sheer pain. Something wrenched inside Regulus at the anguished tone.

 

“No.” Evan shook his head sharply. “Sirius told me they were searching section two today. The scream is too close.”

 

Dorcas bit her lower lip. “Shit—what do we do?” 

 

“What do you think?” said Pandora earnestly as she knelt down to pick the fallen petals. “We’re going.”

 

Dorcas shook her head vigorously. “What if someone wants to hurt us? We don’t even have enough weapons!”

 

There was a silence.

 

Barty stepped closer to Regulus, watching him with intent and expectant eyes. “Reg? It’s up to you, you know.”

 

Regulus did know, unfortunately.

 

Every decision they made had to pass through him first.

 

And honestly? He hated it.

 

He didn’t like making decisions, much less being a leader. His friends had randomly declared it should be him simply because he was the only one who could stand up to Sirius during quarrels.

 

During one of their arguments, he and Sirius had nearly come face to face—uncontrollable rage boiling through their blood vessels. Much to everyone’s surprise, Sirius had been the first to step back and leave the conversation. 

 

Barty had been all giddy about it. “Sirius is fucking scared of you, man,” he’d told Regulus with a proud grin.

 

After that event, Regulus had been officially proclaimed as their leader. He honestly wished that argument never occurred.

 

“I’m with Dora,” Regulus announced after a long pause, drawing his own knife. “We should probably check it. Besides—we’re five.” He shrugged. “We can handle one person.”

 

Dorcas sighed and shut her eyes in defeat. “If we die, I’m going to fucking kill you. All of you.”

 

Hesitantly, they began heading toward sections six and seven, as Evan was certain the screams had come from one of those sections. Pandora kept dropping the petals on the ground, making sure they wouldn’t get lost. They had the map, sure. But the petals were a greater form of reassurance.

 

It didn’t take them much time to arrive, as they had already been wandering near section five. 

 

“I think it’s coming from one of those corridors,” Evan bellowed, his voice echoing through the silence of the stone surrounding them. He pointed at three shadowy passages before them.

 

“Are we sure we want to do this?” Dorcas asked, her voice laced with an evident hint of frustration. “We could simply turn back.”

 

Regulus shook his head sharply. “Too late.”

 

They were too deep into it now. Besides, Regulus felt oddly eager to learn who that voice belonged to. Perhaps that person could give them some answers. Perhaps they knew where the exit was. 

 

Was he being too optimistic? Probably. 

 

Did he care? Not really. 

 

There were too many possible variables. Regulus wasn’t going to waste any. Even if the outcome turned out to be not at all what he desired. 

 

They paced earnestly toward the corridors before them and began surveying each one carefully.

 

The first was empty. The second one too. 

 

But when they arrived at the third one—they halted on their heels abruptly, faint gasps of astonishment escaping from their lips automatically.

 

There, lying on the ground, was a boy.

 

He had his arms wrapped around himself and was shaking terribly. They couldn’t see his face properly, as the long shadow of the wall covered more than half of it. 

 

The boy looked up. His eyes met Regulus’. They were blue; so blue even the shadow couldn’t hide them. 

 

Regulus’ heart began speeding inside his chest.

 

“Reg,” the boy rasped after a cough. “You—you’re here. You’re here.”

 

Regulus’ eyes grew impossibly wide. A shiver of discomfort ran down his spine. He felt as though the world around him had halted and gone quiet. 

 

How—how did he know? 

 

How did this random stranger know his name?

 

Not even his real name. A nickname. A nickname only the people close to him used—like Barty and his group. 

 

Did they know each other? 

 

Before the boy could speak again, he fluttered his eyes closed and passed out. His head harshly hit the ground beneath him with a terrifying thump.

 

“Shit!” Barty swore, immediately dashing forward as Regulus and the others followed.

 

They could see the boy clearly now; his face was entirely covered in fresh blood and slashes. Bruises were already blooming beneath the dark crimson liquid.

 

Dorcas got down on her knees and examined his face. “It looks like someone beat the shit out of him,” she observed with knitted brows. “We need to medicate him. Like, right now.”

 

Pandora turned sharply to Regulus with wide and stunned eyes. “How does he know your name?”

 

Regulus drew closer, fiercely scanning the bloody face of the stranger and his limp body.

 

Nothing came up in his mind. Absolutely nothing. 

 

Was he supposed to recognize him?

 

“I don’t know,” he whispered at last. 

 

He was just as confused as her. Probably even more. 

 

“Alright—let’s take him to camp. Lily will know what to do,” announced Barty as he crouched and gently began raising the boy from one side. “Ev, help me.”

 

They slowly picked up the boy, carrying him between them. They attempted to avoid touching any of his injuries, but it was difficult; they were all over his body. 

 

“Let’s go,” Regulus ordered, staring up at the infinite orange shades of the dying morning sky. “We’re late. The others are probably getting worried.”

 

He glanced down at the boy’s face one final time. His stomach twisted itself with something at the sight—pity, perhaps. He wasn’t sure.

 

He quickly looked away. The way his body reacted to the stranger was making him painfully uncomfortable.

 

He darted forward, forcing himself to push those unfamiliar sensations aside as he followed the petals and led the others back to camp.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

They were late. 

 

The sun was setting, and the sky was already darkening before their eyes—stars appearing overhead like white pearls sinking into a black ocean.

 

They shouldn’t have done that. 

 

One of the main rules that had been established for all twelve of them was to always return from a search before sunset. 

 

It was a precaution, but also a hint.

 

A sign for help.

 

“If someone’s not back before the sun sets, it means that something’s wrong.”

 

They had all promised to maintain it, and they always had.

 

Until today, at least. 

 

As soon as they reached the border of the camp, Sirius’ group rushed toward them. Their expressions were a blend of fury and concern. They all held weapons tightly, as though they were ready to storm into the maze to come to their rescue. 

 

They didn’t like each other, sure. But they certainly didn’t want each other dead. 

 

“Why the fuck are you guys so late? We thought you were dead!” Sirius snarled, pausing right in front of them. Both his fists and jaw were clenched. His eyes darted toward the unconscious stranger between Evan and Barty. “Who the hell is this?” 

 

“We don’t know,” Regulus replied coolly, willing himself to remain calm. It wasn’t the appropriate time for meaningless arguments with Sirius. “He was screaming, so we just—went to check. We found him near section seven.”

 

Marlene moved closer. She inspected the boy quickly, her gaze darting up and down, then pressed her lips together. “Do you think they just sent him here?” she whispered to Sirius. “Now?”

 

Evan rolled his eyes. “How are we supposed to know this, Marlene?” he said, clearly annoyed at the group’s questions. 

 

Marlene sneered at him. “I wasn’t talking to you.”

 

“Shut up and let me see,” Lily exclaimed as she approached them. Her eyes grew wide as soon as they landed on the boy’s injuries, a faint gasp of horror escaping from her lips. “Shit," she whispered. “Ease him to the ground. Gently.”

 

Evan and Barty did as told, careful not to hurt the stranger. 

 

Lily squatted and carefully began wiping the blood from the stranger’s face with a damp cloth. Her touches were as tender as possible. 

 

"Did he say anything? Or was he just screaming?” inquired Remus after several seconds. His brows were knitted in perplexity.

 

Regulus swallowed harshly and met the stares of his friends. His fingers spasmed slightly from sudden nervousness. Dorcas gave him a nod, as if prompting him to talk.

 

He took a deep breath before speaking, bracing himself for the inevitable reactions he was about to witness.

 

“He said my name.”

 

There was a long, eerie silence after that. Exactly what he expected.

 

“What did you just say?” Frank whispered after several minutes, his mouth agape in pure shock.

 

“He said my name,” Regulus repeated coolly, trying to appear as composed as possible. “When he saw me he…said my name. He said ‘Reg’.”

 

Another silence.

 

“How—how is that possible?” exclaimed Sirius after several moments, utterly stunned. For the first time since Regulus had known him, he seemed at a complete loss of words. It nearly made him laugh.

 

Regulus shook his head and raised one shoulder. “Don’t know.”

 

“I mean—he didn’t exactly say Regulus,” Peter pointed out, speaking for the first time that evening. 

 

A mocking laugh pushed past Regulus’ lips before he could stop it. “Oh yeah, thank you Peter,” he said with a hiss. “Totally a coincidence that that’s how everyone fucking calls me. Absolutely not related to my name at all.”

 

Peter, the coward, hushed immediately.

 

“Do you know him?” inquired Mary, quirking one brow suspiciously.

 

Regulus wavered for a second. He threw a glance at the stranger’s face again, secretly hoping to recall—something. Anything. An outline. A blurred image.

 

Nothing.

 

He remembered nothing.

 

“I don’t think so. It’s not like I can fucking remember,” he said snidely, though there was a truth behind it.

 

He didn’t know the boy. He didn’t know if they knew each other. 

 

There was no possible way for him to know.

 

“I can’t do more than that,” announced Lily after finishing her task with the boy’s wounds. She eased the stained cloth on the ground. “I hope his head isn’t injured. But I’ll need to wait for him to wake up in order to check that.”

 

Pandora knelt next to the boy, gently brushing his dark curls from his face. "The bruises look terrible,” she whispered with a pout. "Why would someone beat him like that?”

 

“Who knows,” said Barty with a shrug. “But he better wake up soon. He has a lot of questions to answer to.”

 

Dorcas hummed. “Let’s just—let him rest. For now.”

 

“I’ll check on him during the night,” said Lily as she bit the inside of her cheek, staring down at the boy concernedly. “I’ll know what to do if he wakes up.”

 

“I can help!” Pandora blurted out all of a sudden. Her cheeks blushed in a mere second. “I mean—if you need help, I can—you know—help.” 

 

Regulus’ brows shot up to his hairline. He had never seen Pandora look so flustered before. 

 

Lily gave her a clipped smile, clearly confused. “Sure?” she said, earning a wide grin from Pandora.

 

Regulus genuinely had no idea what had just happened.

 

An hour later, while the others were gathered together for dinner, Regulus remained still and silent beside the unconscious boy. He’d been trying to get a better look at his face after the blood had been finally wiped off.

 

The bruises on his face seemed to darken more and more with every passing second. Regulus assumed that he must have been in a lot of pain. The thought made something lurch inside him.

 

Regulus sighed tiredly and ran a hand through his curls, frustrated at his body for the way it had been reacting all day. His eyes kept flitting across the boy’s face; from one bruise to a slash, then to another bruise.

 

Instead of analysing his odd reaction to the red triangle on the wall, he kept replaying the way the boy had said his name, over and over and over, until a hint of migraine bloomed within his skull. 

 

He closed his eyes in thought.

 

Some deep and hidden corner of his mind was telling him that this was not the first time he’d heard that voice. 

 

"Do we know each other?” he whispered, hoping the boy in front of him would miraculously wake up and answer.

Notes:

The Maze Runner - John Paesano.

Chapter 2: The Stranger

Sirius woke up early as usual.

 

It was his way of maintaining control; the feeling of having the situation in his hands.

 

A sense of composure.

 

He stood up from the ground with a loud grunt and stretched his arms. “Remind me when it’s our turn to sleep in the tents?” he asked Remus as he cracked his neck. “I feel terrible.”

 

Remus shook his head, his lips curling up slightly at one corner. “Tomorrow night. You’ll have to endure another long night out here with me, unfortunately.”

 

Sirius chuckled softly. 

 

He knew Remus liked sleeping. Everyone did. It had been obvious ever since their very first week in the maze. No one had managed to sleep those first days, blaming it on the panic attacks or the simple fright of the situation. 

 

No one, but Remus. It soothed him, apparently. 

 

Sirius, on the other hand, had never been fond of it. He always felt the urge to wake up before the sun had even begun rising. He suspected it might have been a routine he inherited from his past life, though he couldn’t be sure. 

 

Remus had noticed and had started waking up early too, just so he wouldn’t be alone those first hours of the morning.

 

Sirius was secretly grateful, though he never said. He had no trouble expressing gratitude—or feelings in general—with the others, but with Remus…it felt different.

 

Everything did, inexplicably so.

 

Sirius turned his head toward the sleeping stranger they had found the day prior and scanned him attentively; he appeared better now that the blood had been washed off his face.

 

He still had some slashes on his lips and a dark, angry bruise over his cheekbone—but overall, definitely better. Still undoubtedly handsome, Sirius thought. 

 

“So, what do you think about him?” he asked Remus as he pointed his chin toward the boy. “Do we trust him?”

 

Remus slowly stood, starting the fire to prepare breakfast for the others despite looking utterly exhausted. 

 

He was kind like that. 

 

“I think we should just…wait for him to wake up,” Remus said with a calm voice, shrugging. “And hear what he has to say.”

 

Sirius snorted, crossing his arms against his chest. “I look forward to seeing how he explains the fact that he said Regulus’ name.” A hint of bitterness was laced in his voice.

 

Remus blinked. “Why does it sound like you don’t like him?”

 

“Because I don’t,” Sirius said grimly.

 

“He hasn’t even said anything yet?” 

 

Sirius swallowed. “He’s said enough.”

 

It probably wasn’t fair, judging someone like that. Sirius was aware. But his survival instincts—and his sense of responsibility—were far too strong to even consider trusting the stranger. He had too many unanswered questions. 

 

Why would he arrive a month after them?

 

Why would he know Regulus’ name? 

 

Everything about him seemed overwhelmingly odd. 

 

“Maybe he can help us,” Remus said, raising his shoulders. “Maybe he remembers everything and can tell us something about—us. Our lives. You never know.”

 

“Or maybe he’s a fucking spy,” Sirius shot back. 

 

“A spy for who? Them?” Remus said as he pointed to the sky.

 

Sirius knew exactly who he was referring to.

 

“You think they’re not watching us already? This place is full of cameras. They’re probably watching us right now and laughing at us,” Remus continued. “They don’t need a spy, Sirius. He’s just a boy, trapped inside this fucking cage like us.”

 

Sirius paused, his jaw tightening as he glanced back at the boy.

 

Unfortunately, Remus was right. He always was.

 

Honestly, Sirius wasn’t even sure why he was acting that way himself.

 

“You’re supposed to be the leader, Sirius,” Remus finished. “Act like it.” 

 

Sirius flinched at the words. His eyes flitted one last time to the sleeping boy before leaving the firepit.

 

Remus knew how to get under his skin. And he just had.

 

Sirius was a good leader. A great leader. Always planning, organizing, supporting everyone. But wasn’t a leader supposed to protect too?

 

It was the thing he did best: protecting his friends. So it was only natural for his guard to go up when a random stranger suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

 

Was he exaggerating? The stranger had in truth done nothing to him. 

 

Nothing wrong. Nothing that involved him or his group directly. 

 

The only thing the boy had actually said was Regulus’ name.

 

And Sirius didn’t care about him, or his group. He didn’t feel the same protective instinct.

 

He didn’t. 

 

He didn’t like Regulus. 

 

He didn’t care about protecting him. 

 

He didn’t care that the stranger knew his name—and maybe him.

 

Sirius didn’t care. He didn’t.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus hadn’t slept in the tent with Barty that night.

 

Despite it being his rightful turn in the tents, he had still decided to rest around the fire. He had spent most of his night awake, gazing at the injured boy beside him. 

 

He hadn’t left his side for a single second. 

 

He felt as though he were going insane; his head throbbed from the lack of sleep and the amount of concentration he had been putting into trying to remember.

 

Still, nothing came to him.

 

No glimpse in the back of his mind, no faint outline of the boy’s features inside a hidden corner of his head.

 

He wanted to pull his hair in frustration.

 

He felt someone kneeling beside him, their arms brushing slightly against his.

 

He hated it. 

 

Hated being touched. Hated being interrupted when he was concentrating. 

 

“He’s not going to wake up randomly if you stare at him,” Marlene said as she looked at him. “Maybe it was a coincidence, you know?”

 

Coincidences don’t exist.

 

“I don’t believe in coincidences,” he said coolly.

 

He didn’t. Especially not on this one. Everything happened for a reason to Regulus; be it mathematical or astronomical. Coincidences? They only made sense to unintelligent people; people who looked at the surface of things.

 

So, no.

 

Regulus didn't believe that the boy saying his name was a mere coincidence.

 

“Mmmppfff.” A soft grunt of pain interrupted his thoughts.

 

Regulus’ breath hitched.

 

The boy beside him grunted again, raising one hand over the dark bruise on his cheekbone.

 

Regulus assumed that he was still in pain. 

 

The stranger’s blue eyes tore open. He slowly sat up on his elbows, his hand still firm over his bruised face. He blinked and then settled his eyes on Regulus.

 

“Reg,” he murmured as soon as he did.

 

Regulus immediately backed away as if burnt by fire. “Excuse me?” 

 

Not a coincidence, Regulus thought.

 

Definitely not a coincidence.

 

The young man blinked again, more confused. As though he wasn’t sure what he had just said himself.

 

“What’s…where am I?” he asked after a pause.

 

“We found you yesterday,” Lily said gently as she passed him a cup of water. “Pretty beaten up. Drink some water.”

 

The boy slowly began drinking. His entire body was quivering.

 

“What’s your name?” Sirius inquired. Regulus noticed an edge in his voice; something between curiosity and demand.

 

The young man froze. “I—I don’t know.”

 

“You don’t know?” Dorcas repeated, arching one eyebrow in pure mistrust.

 

“I can’t remember,” he whispered, curving his lips down. “It’s all…blank. Except…” 

 

His eyes slowly went back to Regulus.

 

Their blue eyes met.

 

Blue against blue.

 

Ice against ice.

 

Regulus quickly looked away as a shiver ran down his dorsal spine.

 

“Except?” Sirius prompted the boy to continue. “Finish the sentence, boy.”

 

“Except for you,” answered the boy as he stared at Regulus. “You’re Regulus. I know that.”

 

Regulus stiffened as soon as the boy said his name.

 

That voice. It sounded so familiar. 

 

“I’ve literally never seen you in my life,” he answered coldly.

 

“Me neither,” the boy gulped loudly. “It’s not like I remember who you are or—anything else.” 

 

Regulus glanced down at his hands. The tremble had worsened. 

 

Pandora pursed her lips. “So you don’t remember your own name, but you remember Regulus’? That’s weird, isn’t it?”

 

That’s impossible, Regulus thought. 

 

Their names were the only thing that they had decided to leave to them. 

 

Why couldn’t he remember his? And most of all—why did he remember Regulus’?

 

“It is weird,” Marlene agreed. Her lips twitched. “Maybe you guys knew each other.”

 

The stranger sighed loudly.

 

“Maybe,” he murmured.

 

“Well,” Barty said as a grin formed on his lips, “you should know that we don’t remember anything either. Except our names, clearly. Oh, and we’re trapped inside a maze. Insane, right?”

 

The boy’s eyes grew wider. “A…maze? What?”

 

Evan stalked toward Barty and gave him a hard slap on his arm. “Are you fucking stupid?”

 

“Ouch!” Barty yelled, kicking his leg.

 

“Stop it,” ordered Lily. She turned back to the boy, her voice softening at once. “It’s okay. We’ll explain later. You’re safe, I promise. But if you don’t remember your name, we need something to call you.”

 

“Yes!” Pandora cheered happily at the idea. “Let’s choose something temporary until you remember,” she added, clapping her hands in excitement.

 

“Stop it, Dora,” Regulus spat.

 

She flinched at his tone.

 

He hadn’t meant to speak like that.

 

At least, not with his friends and definitely not with Pandora. But the boy’s presence and voice and eyes were making him feel…on edge.

 

Uncomfortable. 

 

The boy wavered before nodding lightly. “If you insist,” he mumbled.

 

“Can’t we just call him ‘The Stranger’?” asked Sirius, rolling his eyes.

 

Mary grimaced. “That’s terrible.”

 

Pandora stared at the boy with focused eyes, as if by studying him enough she could make a name pop into her head.

 

“His eyes are so big. Have you guys noticed?”

 

Regulus felt the muscles of his jaw tightening at the question.

 

He had noticed, obviously.

 

It was the very first thing he had noticed about the boy. 

 

They were…intense. 

 

Like staring straight into the ocean.

 

They made him feel exposed. Seen. 

 

Naked.

 

Regulus never wanted to look at them again. 

 

“What about ‘Bambi’?” Dorcas asked, shrugging. “For the eyes.”

 

The young boy blinked, his ocean eyes growing impossibly wide as the group stared at him. “Bambi?” 

 

“Oh, Bambi!” Pandora beamed. “It’s perfect! Yes, yes. I love it.”

 

“Pretty easy to remember,” agreed Marlene. “It’s fine, I guess.”

 

The boy gave them a nod and smiled brightly, showing his perfectly white teeth. “I like it too.”

 

He was unfairly radiant. 

 

Regulus didn’t like him. 

 

“So you don’t remember your name,” Remus said after several seconds. “Do you remember anything about your past? A small memory or something? Or is it all empty like the rest of us?” His voice seemed oddly hopeful. 

 

“It’s—pretty empty,” the boy replied as he fidgeted with his hands. “I remember some very faint flashes. And his name.” He threw a quick glance at Regulus and then closed his eyes. “But nothing else. I don’t remember anything.”

 

Remus gave a soft nod. “Just like us, then.” He turned to Sirius, smiling smugly. “I told you,” he said to him. 

 

Sirius rolled his eyes but still grinned. “Well,” he announced loudly. “Guess we’re thirteen now, then.”

 

Regulus swallowed. 

 

Guess they were.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus and his group were finally getting ready for their daily search into the maze.

 

Evan held their map, tracing with his fingers the path he wanted to take that day, while Barty and Dorcas were preparing the weapons. Or at least, Dorcas was. Barty was simply tossing a knife in the air, making it rotate as much as he could before catching it again.

 

Reckless as always, Regulus thought. 

 

Pandora, meanwhile, was on the ground, gathering the petals she wanted to use that day.

 

Regulus was sitting right beside her, doing nothing in particular. After the stranger’s revelations, he had decided to let his mind rest for a moment.

 

He had no idea why his body had been acting in odd ways ever since the boy had appeared; why his eyes made him feel extremely tense.

 

He couldn’t find a proper explanation for it. 

 

From the corner of his eye, he noticed someone drawing closer.

 

His body tensed instantly.

 

He already knew who it was. 

 

“What do you want?” Regulus asked, careful not to meet the boy’s eyes, fixing them on his hands instead.

 

The stranger was still fidgeting with them.

 

Was he nervous? 

 

”What are you guys doing?” the boy asked back.

 

A mocking laugh left Regulus’ mouth. “We are trapped. In a maze. What do you think we’re getting ready for?”

 

The boy bit his lip. “Looking for an exit?”

 

“No shit,” Barty said, walking over. “Great job, Bambi.”

 

There was a long silence.

 

“Can I come?” the boy then asked. 

 

“Yes!” said Pandora, standing up with the petals ready.

 

Regulus stood with her. He forced himself to stare at the boy’s eyes to answer. 

 

“No,” he ordered. 

 

The boy scowled. “Why not?” 

 

“Because someone beat the shit out of you just hours ago and you’re not in the right conditions to explore a fucking maze,” Regulus said coolly as though it was obvious. He flitted his eyes to the boy’s chest.

 

He couldn’t hold the boy’s gaze.

 

He had tried. And failed.

 

“What if I can help?” the boy pleaded. “If I go with you, maybe I’ll remember something—how I got here, maybe. Or my name. That could be useful, yes?”

 

The boy drew closer, moving his head.

 

It seemed like he was searching Regulus’ eyes on purpose.

 

Regulus hated it. 

 

“Let’s just make him come with us,” declared Dorcas. “He’ll have to learn something about the searches anyway. Might as well start now.”

 

Regulus sighed and rubbed his face.

 

What was he supposed to say?

 

That he didn’t want the stranger to come because for some insane reason he couldn’t look at him in the eyes for more than ten seconds?

 

Fucking embarrassing.

 

“All right,” he huffed after a long pause. “But if you pass out again, we’ll leave you right there in the middle of the maze.”

 

The boy smiled widely. “Got it.”

 

His blue eyes glistened with joy, making them somehow even bluer. 

 

Regulus felt so uncomfortable now he wanted to crawl out of his skin. He quickly turned away without answering. 

 

He walked to the fire and grabbed a knife. His hand was shaking terribly. 

 

Why was his hand shaking?

 

His anxiety was getting worse. That was probably it. The trembles. The distress. The pounding heart.

 

The nightmares were awful. It was only normal that his body and mind would finally snap and start reacting this way. 

 

It was normal. 

 

And not related to the boy’s presence. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Barty liked music. 

 

Or used to, at least.

 

It was something he’d known deep inside him ever since the first day he woke up in the maze. 

 

Like a truth. A certainty.

 

The worst part? He didn’t remember any of it.

 

Not a sound, a tune, a song.

 

Voices appeared in his mind sometimes, especially at night; some faint lyrics of something he probably used to listen to before being trapped there. 

 

He hated that they took it away from him. 

 

“I’d die to have some music here. Like a recorder or a radio. Seriously, I’d do anything,” he said, breaking the silence. 

 

Dorcas hummed in approval. “It’d be fun, I think. Especially during dinner.”

 

Barty sighed, kicking a small rock with his foot. “It’s the only thing I can remember a bit—music. I feel like I used to like it.”

 

Evan, standing at the front with the map, turned his body back and glanced at him. “If there’s one thing from the past I remember,” he said flatly, “it’s the sex.”

 

Barty halted, gaping.

 

“What?” he choked. A roar of laughter exploded from his mouth. “Oh my god—I can’t breathe—I can’t,” he gasped.

 

“Ew, Evan!” Pandora screamed, horrified.

 

Evan knitted his eyebrows in faux offence. “What? Sex is nice. And completely natural for human beings.”

 

Dorcas shook her head. “I can’t fucking believe you, Evan.”

 

“Never thought of you as a pervert, Ev,” Barty said as he kept laughing. “That has definitely changed now.”

 

“You know,” said Evan as he stared at him, completely serious. “I dream about us having sex every night.”

 

Barty arched one brow. “You wish,” he purred, making Evan shake his head. 

 

Barty lived for small moments like this. He never thought it’d be possible to reach this type of intimacy with these strangers in such a short time. 

 

But he had. They had become essential to his survival inside the maze.

 

He felt like…he cared about them, in a way.

 

Though, there was one person he cared about the most. 

 

“Speaking of shagging. I think someone over here has a crush on Marlene,” Pandora said after several seconds, bumping her shoulder against Dorcas’.

 

Dorcas’ eyes grew immediately wide. “Excuse me?”

 

“You can’t lie to us, Dorcas!” Pandora smiled. “We’re friends. We need to share these kind of things.”

 

Barty nodded in agreement. “Yes Dorcas, we need to share.”

 

He instantly felt like a hypocrite after saying it.

 

Dorcas rubbed her hands over her face in defeat. “Alright, alright. I might have developed a small crush. Nothing serious.”

 

“Jesus, why is it always them,” Barty said, shaking his head. “Couldn’t you just fancy—I don’t know, Pandora?”

 

“That feels like incest,” answered Dorcas, scrunching her nose. “I mean, it’s not like me and Marlene talk anyway. Nothing’s ever going to happen between us.” Her lips curled down faintly.

 

“Well, you can always change that,” Pandora said, taking her hand in hers. Physical touch was definitely Pandora’s love language. “I don’t think she’d be mean despite—the situation.”

 

Evan snorted. “You’re the one to talk, Dora,” he said, smirking. “I can help! I swear! If you need help, I’m here!” he yelled as he began mimicking Pandora’s voice from the previous night. 

 

Pandora hit his arm, making him hiss. “Will you shut up?”

 

“Ouch!”

 

Barty understood immediately what Evan meant.

 

“Jesus Dora, Lily?” Barty yelled. “Are you serious?!”

 

“Listen! You can’t control your feelings! And besides,” Pandora sighed. “She probably likes Mary anyway. They’re always together.”

 

Her lips curled down at once.

 

Barty instantly felt sorry. He wasn’t used to seeing Pandora like that. No one ever was.

 

And worst of all, he could wholly understand her sentiment.

 

“Why don’t you guys get along with the others?” the stranger asked after a pause. “I mean, technically, you’re all stuck here together.”

 

“Get along.” Regulus huffed a laugh, speaking for the first time since they left camp.

 

He had been oddly silent during the search. He usually was, but not as much as today. 

 

Barty wondered if something was on his mind. He’d ask him about it later.

 

“Did I say something wrong?” asked the boy, confused. 

 

“No,” Barty replied. “They’re just—boring, and annoying. And Sirius looks at Regulus in a weird way. So we hate him.”

 

“We don’t hate him,” Pandora clarified, throwing him a look. “We don’t hate anyone.”

 

“Speak for yourself,” shot back Regulus, making Barty grin.

 

He liked the sharp side of his personality. It was the thing he loved most about him.

 

Definitely not the only one though.

 

He turned his head, ready to see Regulus glance back at him with his usual playful smirk. 

 

But Regulus, this time, for the first time, didn’t look back. Instead, he kept his gaze fixed on the stranger behind them.

 

Barty’s stomach twisted into knots at the sight. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

“Guys, look!” Evan exclaimed out of nowhere, throwing the map on the ground and rushing to the wall closest to them. “The drawing! The one we saw yesterday. It’s here too.”

 

“What?!” Dorcas bellowed as she widened her eyes. 

 

The group strode closer, closing the distance with the stone. Painted there, was the same red triangle with the circle and the line inside.

 

“Here we go again,” Barty grumbled, his voice filled with annoyance. 

 

“Do you genuinely think that it’s normal that this weird symbol has randomly appeared on the walls?” Evan said, glaring at him. “It was weird enough that we saw it on section five—but in two different sections?” He shook his head. “I think they put it here on purpose.”

 

Barty laughed sarcastically. “Sure. One of them has suddenly decided to come pay us a visit and randomly started drawing on the walls. Yes Evan, makes perfect sense.” 

 

Pandora sighed dramatically. “Please don’t start fighting. I’m begging you.”

 

“Yeah,” said Dorcas. “I’m already getting a fucking headache.”

 

Regulus sighed, though he wasn’t  really paying attention to them or their banter. 

 

His eyes were locked on the red ink, drawn like a moth to a flame as the day prior.

 

The same strange feeling surged through his body.

 

A pull, a calling. 

 

It felt worse than yesterday.

 

Voices appeared in his mind. Or was it his brain again?

 

This time, they weren’t just telling him to stare at the symbol. 

 

They were telling him to touch it. 

 

Demanding it, even.

 

Touch it. Touch it.

 

Maybe the anxiety had worsened so much that he heard voices now. 

 

Touch it. 

 

Touch it. Touch it. Touch it.

 

So he did. No one stopped him. No one thought it was necessary. He followed the voices as though a magician had hypnotized him.

 

As though he wasn’t the one in control of his body.

 

He convincingly raised one hand. 

 

As soon as his fingers met the stone, the painting lit up with a soft, golden glow, turning it from red to a shimmering yellow tone. 

 

That finally snapped him back to reality.

 

“Fuck!” he gasped, yanking his hand back immediately.

 

“Reg!” Pandora yelled, turning everyone’s focus on him.

 

“What happened?” asked Barty, rushing closer as he grabbed his hand in his, checking frantically for any burns.

 

“I don’t know—,” Regulus started, but stopped when he looked down at his palm. 

 

It looked…normal? 

 

No redness, no burnt flesh. 

 

Like nothing ever happened.

 

Barty kept his hand on his firmly. “Are you okay?” he whispered, only for him.

 

Regulus nodded faintly. 

 

He felt fine, physically. Mentally? Not so sure.

 

“I’m fine,” he said as he removed Barty’s hand from his. The touch had begun making him uncomfortable. 

 

“It—lit up. It fucking lit up,” said Evan, his eyes moving frantically from Regulus to the stone wall. 

 

“How?” Dorcas inquired as she stared intently at Regulus’ hand. “How—did that happen?”

 

Regulus shook his head. 

 

He didn’t know. He had no idea what had been happening to him these past twenty-four hours.

 

His mind was overloaded with questions.

 

“I don’t know,” he said after several seconds. 

 

There was a long silence. 

 

Regulus tightened his jaw. Hard. 

 

Nothing was making sense anymore. Not his body, not his brain, not the stranger.

 

Not even the maze. 

 

Nothing. 

 

“Jesus, listen,” Barty started, running a hand through his dark hair. “This is creeping me the fuck out. And the sun is almost setting—we need to get to camp soon.”

 

There were murmurs of agreement.

 

As they quickly started walking back to their home, Regulus’ mind began spiraling.

 

He had always considered himself intelligent; someone that could piece people and things together quickly.

 

This was not the case. 

 

And whenever Regulus couldn’t piece together something—or someone—he simply… shut down.

 

Closed himself off. For protection. 

 

Because this is how you survive in life or death situations; with your brain. Your focus.

 

So he was going to do just that.

 

Let rationality win over any emotions he had been feeling in the last hours; uneasiness, confusion, fright. 

 

Hide any hint of weakness that could weaken him.

 

He would let his mind take complete control.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

They managed to return to camp before sunset that day. 

 

They were hungry and desperate for water.

 

As soon as they stepped into camp, they collapsed near the fire, throwing themselves over the pile of supplies.

 

“If I don’t eat something in the next five seconds, I’ll literally pass out in front of everyone,” Barty announced as he eyed the fuming pot over the fire.

 

“It’s stew. I made it for everyone,” Lily said, smacking Barty’s hand as he tried to sneak a piece from the pot. “And it’s still not ready, so don’t even try.”

 

He groaned loudly, flopping back to the ground and crossing his arms over his chest in funny disapproval. “Always fucking annoying,” he spat. “Where the fuck did you even find it?”

 

”Just around here.” Mary smirked. “Maybe you guys just aren’t good enough at searching stuff.”

 

“Or maybe someone is simply forcing us to explore the same fucking corridors over again and we don’t have the time to look for fucking stew,” countered Barty harshly.

 

Mary shot him a look but didn’t fire back.

 

“Anyways.” Sirius cleared his throat. “We didn’t find anything today,” he said, pointing at his group’s map on the ground. “What about you?”

 

Evan shook his head, gulping loudly as he shot down his throat an entire canteen of water. “Nothing new in terms of corridors or exits,” he said, placing their own map near the other, “but we did find something. Something…weird.”

 

Frank frowned. “Something weird?” he repeated. 

 

“A drawing. Like—a weird triangle. It was painted on the walls,” replied Evan.

 

“Oh, I think I’ve seen it too today. The red one, right?” Marlene hummed. “But I haven’t really paid much attention. Didn’t think it was important.”

 

“Where did you see it?” Evan inquired. “We’ve seen it on section seven and five.”

 

“Just near section two,” Marlene replied. 

 

“Yeah, well,” Pandora started, throwing a quick glance at Regulus. “It was a bit weird for us. When Regulus touched it, it…lit up.”

 

Silence fell.

 

“What do you mean it lit up?” Remus inquired after a while. He looked completely taken aback by the information.

 

“It means exactly that,” Dorcas replied, gaze fixed on Regulus too. “When he touched it, it lit up. Or turned yellow? I don’t know, it was crazy.”

 

All eyes on camp had now turned to Regulus. 

 

Regulus wanted to scream at each one of them.

 

“That sounds…terrifying,” Peter murmured.

 

Sirius folded his arms, curling his lips. “I mean—it’s just a drawing. Definitely not the weirdest thing I’ve seen here. Maybe it just—represents the different sections. Like a logo.”

 

“Thank you! That’s what I said too,” yelled Barty as he stood.

 

“They could’ve just painted a number for that though,” Frank rebutted.

 

Remus hummed. “Also—why would it light up when Regulus touched it?” Remus insisted, turning his head to look directly at him.

 

The blood on Regulus’ veins had started boiling.

 

His mind had completely taken over now.

 

His protection barriers were up.

 

“Can you all stop looking at me like I have all the fucking answers?” he snarled. “I don’t. So leave me the fuck alone.”

 

“Watch your tone, Regulus,” Sirius gritted. 

 

“If you stop staring at me like some weird freaks, then maybe I will,” Regulus spat.

 

Sirius was about to bite back, but Pandora quickly intervened. “Please don’t start again,” she said, raising her hands. “We’re trying to piece together something together for the first time—ever.”

 

“I agree with her,” said Lily, nodding. “We need to understand if they’re somehow important or like Sirius said—if they’re simple markings for each section.”

 

“I’m sorry, what are we supposed to do?” Barty asked, barking out a laugh. “Look at the sky and beg for answers? Hasn’t really worked that well, hasn’t it?”

 

No one answered. 

 

Unfortunately, Barty was right. 

 

They had no idea what that odd symbol meant, or even if it was important at all. No one was going to help them figure it out anyway.

 

They knew that.

 

After a month alone, trapped inside the maze, they had resigned themselves.

 

The only important thing was to find the exit.

 

“Listen,” started Lily. “We’ll think about this tomorrow. Let’s just—eat. We’ve worked enough today,” she said, pulling the pot of stew from the fire.

 

Barty immediately lunged for a plate, rubbing his hands in excitement.

 

“Fucking finally.”

 

Everyone followed suit.

 

The maze could wait. Food couldn’t.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Much to his own displeasure, Regulus couldn’t keep his eyes off the stranger.

 

He sat apart from the fire, near the edge of the camp where the darkness of the first corridor started.

 

He liked to look at each one of the people there and memorize their habits; Lily and Remus whispering softly to one another, Barty doing tricks with his knife to impress Evan, Peter playing with Mary as they made faces to each other. 

 

That night, however, his eyes wouldn’t waver from the boy.

 

Regulus peered at every single little detail of his face: every wrinkle, the way his curls fell over his face, how his eyes closed when he laughed.

 

Everything. Anything.

 

He searched for any kind of hint that could somehow help him understand.

 

Help him figure him out. 

 

“Why are you here all alone?” he heard Barty ask as he sat down next to him.

 

A bit too close for Regulus’ liking. Their knees were touching.

 

He flinched at the contact.

 

“Nothing,” he said coolly.

 

Barty followed his gaze, huffing a laugh. “Sure,” he said. “So you’re not here to stare at the boy with blue eyes, right?”

 

Regulus shrugged, playing it cool. 

 

No weaknesses, his mind reminded him.

 

No weaknesses.

 

“I’m simply watching him,” he said coolly.

 

“And…why is that?” Barty asked him, lowering his voice.

 

“I don’t understand him.”

 

“Understand him?” Barty repeated slowly.

 

“Yes, Barty. Understand him,” Regulus huffed. His voice was laced with a faint hint of frustration. He gripped his dark curls and pushed them away from his face, almost hurting himself.

 

“I can’t read him. It’s…infuriating.”

 

Barty leaned back on his hands. Regulus felt his stare on him. “Why do you care about reading him?” 

 

“I don’t,” Regulus snapped. “I just—,”

 

“You just want to stand here and stare at his face,” Barty interrupted, his eyes flitting to the sky above them. “You can say it, you know.”

 

Regulus’ eyes grew wide. “That’s not what I said at all.”

 

“You were looking at him too—during the search,” Barty quickly said. “I noticed. You’re honestly starting to look like a fucking stalker. You seem obsessed with him.”

 

Regulus winced at the last words. 

 

“I am not obsessed,” he stated.

 

Because he wasn’t. He absolutely wasn’t. 

 

“I’m careful. There’s a difference.”

 

“Alright. Let’s say you’re just careful. But what’s the worst that could happen, Reg? That he’s lying about himself? That he’s here to—I don’t know—hurt us? There are twelve of us and one of him. We’ll beat the shit out of him again if he tries anything.”

 

“You never know,” Regulus whispered, still watching the boy. 

 

For some odd reason, figuring out the boy felt more important to him than figuring out everything that had been happening with him and the maze these past two days.

 

“Can’t you study him without looking at him like you want to eat him?” Barty murmured after a moment of silence.

 

Regulus gaped at him.

 

What?

 

“You’re saying so much bullshit right now, I’m not even joking,” he said, elbowing his arm. 

 

Barty gave him a clipped smile. “So you won’t stop staring at him, I assume.”

 

Regulus chuckled and rolled his eyes.

 

As if he cared.

 

“Stop pretending like you give a shit about who I stare at.”

 

He felt Barty waver for a beat before answering.

 

“You’re right,” he whispered. “I totally don’t give a shit.”

Notes:

Into the Maze - John Paesano.

Chapter 3: James

“Reg.”

 

“Reg, what did you do?”

 

“Regulus, tell me.”

 

“What did you do?”

 

“Tell me.”

 

“What did you do?”

 

“What did you—

 

 

 

Regulus’ eyes flew open.

 

“Shit,” he whispered as he gasped wildly.

 

The nightmares were getting worse. More intense. Almost…real. Like something he’d already lived and was just now remembering.

 

He sighed in frustration as he pulled his hair.

 

Even something as innocent as a nightmare, to him, felt like a sign of weakness. Something he couldn’t show to anyone.

 

He had to find a way to stop them. He had to.

 

“You look terrible,” a raspy voice said.

 

Regulus turned, snapping his head around at once.

 

Sirius was awake, sitting on the other side of the firepit as he stared at him with intent eyes.

 

Regulus narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

 

“Weren’t you supposed to sleep in the tent tonight?” he shot back with a cold voice. 

 

Sirius shook his head, clicking his tongue. “Tomorrow. Or, well, tonight. But not tonight tonight—tomorrow. Anyway,” he sighed. “Can’t really fall asleep when someone’s screaming in the middle of the night.”

 

Regulus’ jaw twitched. His fists closed.

 

If there was one person he definitely didn’t want to show his weaknesses to, it was him.

 

“Fuck you, Sirius.”

 

Sirius sneered, ignoring the insult. “You know we can hear you even through the tents sometimes? But no one ever has the courage to ask you anything because of your fucking attitude.”

 

Regulus flinched at the words, frowning slightly.

 

He quickly looked away, his eyes flitting anywhere but Sirius’ face.

 

He felt ashamed. Every person on camp had heard him scream over these stupid fucking nightmares.

 

Weak. Weak. Weak.

 

“Do you—well. Do you want to…talk about it? The nightmares?” Sirius asked after several seconds.

 

Regulus snapped his head around so fast he thought his neck would give out.

 

He was genuinely stunned by the question.

 

It wasn’t—normal.

 

Sirius and him—they didn’t do this. They didn’t speak with one another. Well, they did sometimes; if it was extremely necessary or during arguments. 

 

Especially during arguments. 

 

But they didn’t share intimate details about their dreams. They didn’t have deep conversations in the middle of the night around the firepit like two old friends. 

 

Because they weren’t friends. They were the opposite of it.

 

They loathed one another. From day one.

 

Always have, always will.

 

“No,” Regulus spat firmly. 

 

Sirius gave a faint nod, raising his shoulders.

 

“Well. At least I tried,” he said.

 

There was a silence after that.

 

Regulus began playing awkwardly with his hands. 

 

He should just go back to sleep. He should.

 

“I saw you staring at the stranger the entire time at dinner,” Sirius then said, staring at him with a blank expression. “What was that about?”

 

Regulus took one hand over his throbbing head.

 

He should’ve definitely gone to sleep.

 

“Why are you suddenly asking all those questions?” he inquired.

 

”Like I said,” Sirius replied, crossing his arms against his chest. “Can’t sleep.”

 

Regulus considered flipping him off and hiding beneath his blanket, but he knew better. He knew that Sirius wouldn’t leave him alone until he got what he wanted.

 

“I don’t trust him,” he answered coolly, hoping this would finally shut him up. “Would you trust someone that doesn’t remember anything but your name?”

 

Sirius tilted his head. He appeared to be considering the question carefully.

 

“I wouldn’t,” he then said. “I told Remus the same thing. Still, it seems…different for you. I mean, you didn’t even sleep yesterday just to keep an eye on him.” He searched his eyes carefully before adding, “are you sure you’re not…scared of him?” 

 

Regulus winced at the question.

 

Scared? he repeated in his mind.

 

“Have you gone mad?” he scowled.

 

“Have I?” Sirius inquired, arching one brow. “Everyone noticed, Regulus. Everyone. Mary even asked me what the fuck your problem was after dinner.”

 

Regulus didn’t know how to answer.

 

He remembered Barty’s voice from the evening prior.

 

You’re honestly starting to look like a stalker.

 

Obsessed. Scared. Obsessed. Scared.

 

He wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t.

 

Not obsessed. Not scared.

 

Why wouldn’t anyone believe him?

 

He just wanted to understand. To be wary. Like all people with a functioning brain would if a random stranger suddenly appeared and started disrupting your peace. When his eyes made you uncomfortable for some odd reason.

 

As his face. As his voice. As his—everything.

 

He huffed, not even bothering to reply anymore. He had said too much already.

 

He didn’t even know why he was still talking to Sirius at this point.

 

“Jesus,” Sirius said as he threw his arms in the air. “You know what? I don’t care. Just keep staring at him like an insane person would.”

 

“You could just stop watching what I do during the day, you know?” Regulus hissed through his teeth.

 

He promptly turned his gaze toward the dark sky above them; just glancing at Sirius was making his blood boil in his veins.

 

“You’re right,” Sirius spat. “Maybe I should.”

 

Regulus gave a bitter laugh.

 

“What a great fucking conversation, really.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Sirius said coldly.

 

Regulus didn’t answer. He kept his eyes fixed on the stars above them instead.

 

At least those stars brought him some peace. Unlike the one that was lying on the opposite side of the firepit right now.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The strong smell of honey made Pandora open her eyes in confusion.  

 

It wasn’t something they usually ate—honey. Mostly because it wasn’t something they’d find frequently during the searches. 

 

But for some odd reason, it was the only thing she could smell that morning. 

 

As soon as she fluttered her eyes open, her body froze. 

 

Oh.

 

Red hair. Red, beautiful hair sprawled all over her, emanating the sweet scent of honey all over her nostrils.

 

Pandora stopped breathing at once.

 

She had fallen asleep beside Lily. And apparently, during the night, they had gotten way closer than intended. 

 

Like—way closer than intended; half of Lily’s body was practically draped over her.

 

Pandora’s eyes grew impossibly wide. She began taking deep breaths in and out. 

 

In and out. In and out. 

 

Could anyone blame her for reacting this way? 

 

She didn’t even remember the day she had realized she actually had a crush on Lily. The first few days in the maze had been a blur of confusion and arguments, and the split between the two groups definitely hadn’t helped with growing crushes or feelings. 

 

During the second week, Lily and her group had just returned from a search, and as soon as they reached the border of the camp, Lily had gone straight for Pandora with a chunk of petals in her hands. 

 

“I noticed you like them,” she had told her after giving her the petals. “We have a lot already. You can keep them.”

 

Pandora’s heart had never felt the same after that. 

 

She had found herself throwing quick glances at Lily from across the firepit, careful not to get caught. Slowly, she began appreciating Lily’s beauty; both from the inside and the outside. 

 

Evan was the only one who had picked up on her crush at first, as she spent most of her days with him. She knew he wouldn’t judge her for liking someone from the other group.

 

Over the next few days, she had noticed that very same yearning she felt for Lily on Dorcas’ face whenever she gazed at Marlene. She had laughed to herself about it; it seemed like in their group they were destined to be attracted to their ‘enemies’.

 

A soft yawn beside her interrupted her thoughts.

 

Lily blinked softly, and then her eyes fluttered open.

 

Pandora cursed under her breath; she had forgotten to move away.

 

“Oh my god,” Lily exclaimed, immediately sitting up straight and drawing slightly further. “I’m mortified. Sorry, I probably made you uncomfortable.”

 

“I wasn’t uncomfortable!” Pandora replied quickly, waving her hands. “I don’t mind it, genuinely.”

 

Lily gave a faint nod and pursed her lips.

 

“You smell nice,” she whispered after several seconds.

 

Pandora’s eyes grew wide. “Do I?”

 

“You do.” Lily blushed. “Like something sweet.”

 

Pandora could feel her cheeks starting to heat up with every passing second.

 

“You smell nice too,” she managed to mumble.

 

Lily opened her mouth, stunned. “Really?”

 

Pandora hummed. “Mm. Like honey.”

 

“Honey?” Lily asked, confused. “We don’t usually eat honey here.”

 

Pandora shrugged but still smiled. “Maybe it was on your shampoo?”

 

“Or maybe I’m just preparing you all breakfast with some fucking honey I found this morning,” a voice behind them said.

 

They both turned toward the firepit, and found Dorcas stirring up a pot with a strong smell of honey coming from it. She had a playful smirk on her lips. “Sorry to interrupt,” she laughed.

 

Pandora’s face was fully on fire now. Lily chuckled vigorously beside her, and Pandora honestly wanted to bury herself in embarrassment. 

 

“Jesus, Dorcas,” she hissed.

 

Lily was still laughing. “Well,” she said. “I’ll take it as a compliment anyway.”

 

Pandora looked up at her. Her cheeks were a vivid shade of crimson red, similar to her hair. Maybe for the embarrassment, maybe for the simple joy of the moment. Her green, gorgeous eyes shined as she stared at Pandora.

 

She looked even more beautiful than usual. 

 

Pandora wanted to scream.

 

“I’m going to wash up,” announced Lily after several seconds. “I’ll see you at breakfast,” she beamed.

 

Pandora nodded eagerly. “See you at breakfast.”

 

Lily slowly stood up and walked away from the firepit, leaving Pandora and Dorcas alone.

 

“See you at breakfast,” Dorcas repeated, making a voice.

 

Pandora rolled her eyes and threw her blanket at her. “I genuinely cannot stand you,” she sighed, though she knew it wasn’t true.

 

She loved her friends. All of them. So much she didn’t know how it was possible.

 

Dorcas cackled loudly. “I think you’ve impressed her, actually.”

 

“You think so?” Pandora pouted.

 

“Yes, Dora,” Dorcas whispered fondly. “I think so.”

 

Pandora truly, truly hoped so.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

After breakfast, something unexpected happened. 

 

“So,” Sirius bellowed after clearing his throat. “Before we start the searches, I have a proposal for all of you.”

 

Everyone at camp promptly turned to face him skeptically.

 

Regulus stepped forward and crossed his arms against his chest.

 

“What kind of proposal?” he inquired.

 

His tone was hard. Cold. He hadn’t forgotten their earlier conversation. 

 

“We’ve been split into two groups during the searches for weeks now,” said Sirius after biting the inside of his cheek. “I think it’s time we change that.”

 

“Excuse me?” Lily said, just as confused as everyone else. She looked completely oblivious to what Sirius had in mind. “Where is this coming from?”

 

Sirius cleared his throat. He looked oddly…nervous. “I just think working all together for once would be—ehm—useful?”

 

“Working together?” Regulus repeated with a stunned espression. “Are you—are you saying that you want all of us to go on a search into the maze together?”

 

It wasn’t bad enough already that Sirius had spent the entire night asking him questions about the nightmares and the stranger.

 

Now he was even proposing the two groups to—work together. 

 

Weird. Suspiciously weird.

 

Regulus wondered if he was secretly planning something against them.

 

It wouldn’t surprise him one bit.

 

“I am,” said Sirius coolly. “It’s just—to try. Once. And see what we can do all together. If it doesn’t work and we start arguing, then we’ll never try again.”

 

Evan grimaced. “But we’ll cover way less ground like this,” he pointed out.

 

Barty hummed. “Right. It’s literally a waste of time.” 

 

Lily took a step forward, drawing closer to Sirius. “I don’t think it’s a bad idea, actually,” she said. “We’re all stuck in here together, no? God knows if working together will actually take us somewhere.”

 

Pandora raised her shoulders. “It’s worth a try.”

 

Barty gasped. “Pandora, you traitor.” 

 

“What did you just call me?” she said with narrowed eyes. 

 

“All right, all right,” Sirius exclaimed. “If you can’t decide in a civil way, we’ll just have to vote.”

 

“Are you actually serious?” Marlene asked with a raised brow.

 

“Yes.” Sirius smirked. “I believe in democracy.”

 

Mary rolled her eyes, throwing her arms in the air. “You’ve absolutely gone insane today Sirius, I’m telling you.”

 

Despite the hesitation, they began the voting.

 

Barty, Peter, Evan, Mary, and Marlene chose to remain split, to no one’s surprise. Lily, Sirius, Pandora, Dorcas, Remus, and Frank chose to work as one.

 

The stranger had decided not to vote, as he didn’t want to put himself between the two groups. 

 

Boring.

 

Regulus could feel Barty and Evan’s stares on him from one side, while Dorcas and Pandora from the other when it was his turn.

 

He should simply vote no. He should.

 

Things had been going great with the groups split during the searches. No arguments, no seeing Sirius for the most part of the day. 

 

It was better that way. 

 

Still, a faint, nagging voice in the back of his mind kept telling him that working with the others for one single day wouldn’t hurt.

 

Just for convenience. Just to try and see if it’d be easier to find an exit that way.

 

He exhaled deeply before answering.  “Together.”

 

“What?!” Barty yelled. His eyes grew impossibly wide. “Have you gone mad?”

 

Sirius grinned smugly. As though he’d just won a battle he started. “Everyone, get the petals, knives and maps! We leave in five minutes.”

 

Barty stalked in front of Regulus.

 

“Reg, what the fuck?” he snapped. “Why would we want to spend an entire day with them?”

 

Regulus scowled and rolled his eyes.

 

“You’re not going to die if you stay within their area for a day, Barty, I promise you.” He knelt down to get some petals ready for the search. “I’m the leader after all, am I not?”

 

Barty gnawed on his bottom lip. 

 

They stared at one another for several seconds before Barty gave a resigned nod. “Fine,” he simply said before walking away.

 

Regulus sighed. 

 

It was going to be a long day.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Frank was leading the way with Sirius. They had asked Regulus to be the second-in-command as the leader of the other group, but he refused.

 

He didn’t have the will, or the proper concentration to do that.

 

Sirius had insisted on exploring section number two again, so they were doing just that.

 

“Left,” Frank exclaimed as he glanced at their map.

 

Sirius made a face. “We went right yesterday.”

 

“We actually went left yesterday too,” replied Frank, laughing. “I’m sorry, why is he our leader again?” he asked as he turned to face his own group.

 

“We did not!” Sirius shot back while looking at their map closely. “Oh wait, maybe we did.”

 

Frank peeked back at Remus, sighing deeply. “You should’ve been our leader. I’ll say this until the day I die.”

 

Remus pressed his lips together, as though he were trying to hide a smirk. 

 

Regulus walked at the center, scanning intently every angle of the path ahead of them, though he wasn’t as focused as he liked to admit.

 

His eyes kept involuntarily flitting toward the stranger. 

 

He forced them not to, at first. He was tired of people making absurd claims about him. Like accusing him of being scared and obsessed. 

 

His restraint wasn’t strong enough, apparently.

 

He began gazing at the boy’s jaw, which seemed especially sharp beneath the light of the sun. He noticed a small scar forming there, probably from the attack of the days prior. 

 

Regulus sighed deeply.

 

It was unfair, honestly. How good the stranger looked despite being beaten to death just two days ago.

 

He shook his head vigorously as though he wanted to wake himself up.

 

Focus, he ordered himself.

 

You need to piece him together, not stare at his jawline.

 

“You’re staring again,” he heard someone whisper.

 

Regulus quickly jerked his eyes away and met Barty’s stare. “I’m not.”

 

“I literally saw you,” Barty shot back as he narrowed his eyes. “You’ve got spit falling out of your mouth.”

 

“What?!” Regulus exclaimed as he widened his eyes. His hand automatically went toward his mouth to check. 

 

Barty quirked an eyebrow in amusement.

 

“Fuck you,” Regulus spat. “Genuinely.”

 

Barty gave a faint laugh. “Do you like him or something?” he asked. “You can tell me everything, you know that right?” 

 

Like him?

 

“Don’t ask me stupid fucking questions,” Regulus scoffed as he crossed his arms. “As I already told you—I’m trying to piece him together.”

 

Barty sighed deeply, looking resigned.

 

Regulus felt as though he didn’t believe him. 

 

No one really was, these days. 

 

“I have a proposal too,” Evan exclaimed loudly, thankfully interrupting that awkward conversation. “I was thinking. Now that we’re apparently getting along, can we, I don’t know, all have sex together?”

 

Everyone from Sirius’ group turned to face him in stunned disbelief. 

 

Barty immediately barked out a laugh, his body shaking beside Regulus’. “No!” he guffawed. “I can’t believe you’ve just said that to them! To them!”

 

“Jesus, Evan,” Pandora grumbled as she slapped her palm against her forehead. “We’re not alone. We have company.” 

 

“What? It was simply a question,” said Evan innocently.

 

“We’re so sorry,” Dorcas said as she glanced at the other group. “He’s a troubled kid. We’ve actually adopted him. We don’t know him very well,” she said in faux seriousness. 

 

Sirius’ group stared at one another for several seconds before bursting out in laughter. 

 

“Why would you even ask that?” Frank asked as he chortled loudly.

 

Marlene glanced back at them and beamed. Her eyes were glistening with what Regulus assumed were tears of laughter. “I’m sorry. I was so wrong. Searching together was the right decision.”

 

Regulus gaped at everyone in utter disbelief.

 

What the fuck was happening? Why were they all joking and laughing together?

 

“It’s been what? Two hours?” said Sirius as he grinned. “And we still haven’t killed each other. I call it progress, honestly.”

 

“Don’t say it too loud.” Pandora beamed. “Regulus could start calling you a bitch out of nowhere in the next five minutes,” she said as she elbowed him softly. 

 

Regulus rolled his eyes but didn’t answer. 

 

He threw a quick glance at Sirius and noticed that he was glancing back already. 

 

“Well,” Sirius said as he gave him a faint smile. “Let’s hope not.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The flash of light came suddenly.

 

One second, they were exploring the maze attentively, focused on looking for new passages or unexplored corridors. The next, a light so bright appeared before them that forced them to cover their eyes with their hands.

 

“Shit!” Sirius swore with his hands raised.

 

Slowly, one by one, they adjusted their sight to the light. 

 

Regulus was the last to drop his hands, and as soon as he did, he gaped in shock. 

 

A small, glowing thread was flying in front of them, moving on its own. It wasn’t long, probably eight inches or so. 

 

“What. The actual. Fuck,” Barty whispered in disbelief. “Am I dreaming? Regulus, did you fucking infect me with those nightmares?”

 

Regulus grimaced. “Shut up.”

 

“How—how is this possible?” Pandora asked, her eyes wide open. “It’s up in the air. How?”

 

“It looks like magic,” Peter breathed out. 

 

Regulus rolled his eyes. 

 

Magic. What a stupid fucking thing to say.

 

“It’s them,” Remus said as he pointed at the sky. “It’s always them. I’m sure.”

 

Mary snarled. “Aren’t you all fucking tired?” she exclaimed as she looked at the sky. “Go watch a movie. Go have sex. Why are you fucking obsessed with us?!” 

 

“Stop it,” Lily said as she grabbed her arm. “Don’t piss them off.”

 

Mary shrugged. “I don’t fucking care.”

 

“Oi!” bellowed Sirius, shutting them both at once.

 

Always playing the part of the perfect leader. Regulus fought the urge to cackle at him. 

 

“It looks like it’s pointing us somewhere,” Peter announced as he stared at the shimmering line.

 

It did, to be honest. The line had slowly begun flying toward a corridor in front of them. Not fast. As though it was waiting for them to follow it.

 

A trap? Regulus thought.

 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to follow it,” Barty said as he crossed his arms. 

 

“I mean, it’s not like we have anything better to do.” Marlene shrugged. 

 

“We could just keep searching like we always have?” pointed out Barty as though it was obvious. 

 

“But what if it leads us to the exit?” Remus said, ever the cleverest.

 

Everyone promptly turned to face him with a shocked expression. 

 

No one had thought about it. Regulus definitely hadn’t.

 

Could it? Could that be the hint that leads them toward the exit? 

 

Maybe Sirius had been right. Maybe the only thing they needed to do was work together once, and then they would get out. 

 

Maybe they had found the answer. 

 

“Regulus?” Sirius asked after several seconds, facing him. “What do you say?”

 

Regulus paused, staring at the small glowing line one final time.

 

He swallowed hard before answering.

 

“I think we should follow it.”

 

“Okay,” said Frank, nodding firmly. “They’re the leaders, so it’s decided.”

 

They slowly began following the line, which was now flying at a slightly faster speed. Everyone held their knives and hatchets tightly in their hands, in case something suddenly happened. Their expressions were firm and determined, though it was difficult to completely hide the fact that they were all secretly frightened. 

 

They all considered themselves pretty brave for their age—not that they remembered it. They were definitely too young to be trapped in a maze but old enough to follow a mysterious light inside it.

 

So, yes. They were brave.

 

They were all getting hopeful. Regulus definitely was. No one said it out loud, obviously. But the rush of their footsteps behind the light kept growing more and more confident, and that was definitely a sign of it.

 

“Guys, I think this is it,” announced Pandora. “We’re getting out. We’re actually getting out.”

 

“Don’t get too hopeful,” the stranger said coldly. 

 

Regulus immediately frowned. 

 

Now, that was weird. 

 

The stranger had been oddly silent today, both during the search and before. He hadn’t asked any questions, hadn’t chuckled at someone’s joke. He hadn’t even smiled once. Even the tone of his voice seemed different. 

 

Regulus glanced at him from the side. He showed no fear, no curiosity. 

 

His expression was completely blank.

 

“What’s up with you today?” Regulus asked him with furrowed brows. 

 

“Nothing,” the boy simply replied.

 

Regulus closed his hands into fists. 

 

Instead of understanding and piecing him together, it seemed like the puzzle that was the stranger kept becoming more and more complicated for him.

 

Regulus had never felt so frustrated in his life.

 

“Hey,” Evan called. “The light has stopped.”

 

Everyone halted at once.

 

They had been so focused on following it that they hadn’t even realized where it was leading them. Where it had led them.

 

A door.

 

A massive, stone door.

 

“Oh my god,” Sirius breathed.

 

“How the fuck have we not seen it before?” Remus asked as he drew closer, analyzing the stone.

 

Regulus’ eyes grew wide as he gazed intently at the door.

 

Remus was right. How could they have missed it? It was massive. Entirely made of polished stone, with the exception of a huge red symbol painted right in the middle. 

 

The symbol.

 

The triangle with the circle and the line inside it; the same one they had found on the maze walls the days prior. The same one that had changed at his touch. 

 

The same one that seemed to have a—connection to him. 

 

“It doesn’t have a handle or a keyhole,” whispered Dorcas, confused.

 

“What sort of psychopath makes a door that doesn’t open?” Barty scowled as he drew closer and knocked against the stone with his knuckles. “Hello? Hellooooo?”

 

“Barty,” Evan said, exhausted. 

 

“What?” Barty shrugged and pouted. “Maybe someone will answer.”

 

Evan rolled his eyes. “Sure they will.”

 

Regulus stepped closer to the door, determined as ever. 

 

He wanted to see for himself if coincidences had a possibility of existing or if he was right as always.

 

“Let me try something,” he said as he gazed at the symbol.

 

“Reg—,” he heard someone say, but he promptly ignored it.

 

He reached out before he could think twice, letting his fingers brush against the triangle as he did the day prior. The moment his skin met the stone, the triangle faintly lit up.

 

Again.

 

He could hear people gasp behind him. 

 

Just as he imagined.

 

Coincidences don’t exist. 

 

“What just happened?!” Sirius asked as he gazed at his hand intently. As though it had just done something utterly impossible. 

 

“We told you!” screamed Dorcas. “They fucking light up when he touches them. Fucking creepy shit.”

 

Regulus slowly stepped back from the door, glancing at the others as they stared at him with stunned and confused curiosity. The stranger was watching him especially. 

 

Their blue eyes met again. 

 

Blue against blue.

Ice against ice.

 

Regulus fought the urge to yell.

 

“I mean, it still didn’t open,” Peter muttered as he glanced at Regulus. “I don’t think it’s relevant that they light up when he touches them if nothing happens anyway.”

 

Lily began holding her red hair into a ponytail as she stared at the sky. “The sun is setting. It’s better if we head back. We’ll talk about all of this at dinner,” she said eventually.

 

Everyone quickly agreed, and they began heading toward their home as they followed their usual trail of petals.

 

Regulus’ mind never stopped working on their way back. 

 

He had questions about the maze, questions about the symbol. 

 

He wondered if that door was actually their way out or if the people who had put them there were simply toying with them.

 

But most of all, he wondered why the stranger’s eyes hadn’t left him once since they began walking back to camp.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Dinner was silent for the most part. 

 

They felt frustrated, to be honest. 

 

After a month spent searching and analyzing every single corridor or stone passage that appeared before them, they’d found a door. The door to freedom, possibly. 

 

And they didn’t know how to open it.

 

Ironic, really.

 

You survive an entire month inside a maze, with barely any food, people you don’t know, and no memories of your past. You spend all your energy looking for an exit, and when you maybe find it, there’s no way to open it.

 

Absolutely fucking cruel.

 

“I still don’t understand why it reacts to you,” Mary said after several minutes as she stared at Regulus. She had a piece of bread in her hands, though she wasn’t really eating.

 

None of them were. 

 

“Yesterday and today,” she continued. “That can’t be a coincidence, Regulus. You do realize that, right?”

 

Regulus did realize that.

 

Or more than realize, he knew that. He felt that. 

 

He knew something weird had been going on between him and the maze ever since he heard that weird voice in his head two days ago. 

 

And today he just…had another proof of that very same weird connection. 

 

He hadn’t spent enough time thinking about it, though. 

 

His thoughts had been entirely focused on the stranger. Which was weird, because finding out why the maze seemed to react to him in odd ways was way more vital than figuring out who that boy was.

 

Regulus’ mind didn’t agree with that, apparently.

 

Probably because Regulus saw the stranger as an even bigger enigma than the maze itself. He wasn’t sure.

 

“Maybe it was,” he replied after several seconds. “Like Peter said—it’s not like it does anything beside changing color.”

 

“Weren’t you the one that said that coincidences don’t exist?” Marlene asked.

 

Regulus tightened his jaw. “Well, as much as I'm clever, maybe I can be wrong sometimes, Marlene.”

 

“Can you now?” quipped Marlene as she quirked one eyebrow.

 

“Still,” Lily cut in as she pressed her lips together. “Even if it does nothing, it’s still weird.”

 

“Maybe it’s just them,” Remus said as he raised one shoulder. “Let’s not forget that. They put us here and erased all our memories. They’re watching us 24/7. It wouldn’t surprise me if they had control of some of the stuff inside here.”

 

The group fell silent. 

 

They always did whenever the topic of them came up in conversations. 

 

“Alright, enough,” Barty said suddenly, sitting up from the ground. “I don't want to hear another word about those psychopaths.”

 

“I mean, it’s not like we have anything better to do,” Frank pointed out as he raised his shoulders. 

 

“Let’s play something,” said Barty with a mischievous grin. “All of us. It’s the first day in a month we haven’t argued. We need to fucking celebrate.”

 

“Play?” Sirius asked, skeptical. “What could we possibly play in here?”

 

Barty forced himself not to cackle. “Truth or dare.” 

 

Regulus’ eyes grew wide. A frustrated sigh left his mouth. 

 

No, he thought.

 

Absolutely fucking not. 

 

“I'd rather die,” he grumbled. 

 

“Shut up,” Barty whinged. “It’s going to be fun! I promise!” he said as he began clapping his hands. “I’ll start, okay? Just one turn. If you don’t like it then we’ll stop.”

 

Regulus kept looking at him like he’d just said the most unhinged thing in his life. 

 

“Well.” Dorcas shrugged. “It can’t be that bad.”

 

“Yes yes yes!” exclaimed Barty as he rubbed his hands together mischievously. His eyes fell on Sirius first. “Sirius, truth or dare?”

 

“Why me?!” Sirius protested, making every single person burst into laughter. 

 

“Because you’re the leader!” Barty said as though it was obvious. “You need to be brave for everyone.”

 

“I do not!” exclaimed Sirius, looking absolutely offended. Remus knocked his shoulder on his, grinning widely. “C’mon,” he whispered to Sirius. “Truth or Dare?”

 

A defeated sigh left Sirius’ mouth. His lips twitched. 

 

“Dare.”

 

Barty smirked. “I dare you to stand up, look at one of the cameras and scream, ‘Barty is the most handsome boy on the planet!’”

 

Whistles and howls filled the entire camp, making them echo through every corridor of the maze. 

 

Regulus chuckled as silently as he could.

 

Fucking Barty.

 

“Yeah, I’m not doing that,” Sirius said earnestly.

 

“Yes, you are.”

 

“No, I’m not.”

 

“Yes. You are!”

 

“Shit, alright,” Sirius groaned as he stood up. He threw a quick glance at Barty before clearing his throat. “You have no idea who you’ve put yourself against, boy.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

“My turn!” Pandora cheered. “Mmm…let’s spice things up a bit.” She glanced at each one of the faces around the fire before settling her eyes on the stranger. “Bambi! Truth or Dare?”

 

The boy straightened himself and cleared his throat. 

 

He hadn’t uttered a single word during dinner, and his eyes were completely lost in thought, though they would sometimes flit toward Regulus for just a second, as though he didn’t actually want him to notice.

 

Regulus had noticed, obviously. 

 

“So?” Barty smirked, prompting the stranger to answer.

 

“Uhm…truth?” the boy whispered as he played with his hands. 

 

“Pity,” said Barty with faux disappointment. “Wanted to make you scream something about me too.”

 

“You’ve done enough of that already,” Sirius said with narrowed eyes.

 

Pandora hummed loudly to herself as though she was concentrating. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “Do you remember your favorite song? A title, maybe?”

 

The boy didn’t answer at first. It wasn’t surprising. Remembering something as big as a song was a lot for most of them. Only Barty, Sirius, and Remus could recall some very faint voices in their heads. But never a title or a proper lyric.

 

The boy’s face suddenly softened. His lips curled up faintly.

 

“I think it’s The Night We Met.”

 

Regulus suddenly felt as though someone had punched him on the chest. 

 

His hands had begun shaking wildly. Or his entire body. He didn’t know. 

 

His lungs weren’t getting oxygen anymore. He was suffocating.

 

He blinked rapidly and noticed that his sight wasn’t clear anymore.

 

Shit.

 

He was about to have a panic attack. 

 

Right in front of everyone. 

 

His throat had begun feeling tight; as though a lump had just formed inside it. 

 

He felt like he was about to cry.

 

“The Night We Met?” Pandora repeated. “I don’t remember a song having this title.”

 

A loud sob left Regulus’ mouth as Pandora repeated the title of the song. 

 

He quickly took a trembling hand over his mouth, trying to hide the sounds that he was making. He felt his hand wetting at once; he was crying. 

 

He was fucking crying.

 

Weak, his mind screamed.

 

Weak. Weak. Weak.

 

“Are you fucking crying?” he heard Sirius sputter, bewildered.

 

Regulus suddenly sat up straight, though he wobbled slightly due to his shaking body. He quickly wiped his tears away from his cheeks.

 

“No,” he blurted out. 

 

“You literally are,” Marlene said as she gaped at him.

 

“Reg? Hey? What’s going on?” Pandora asked him as she began approaching him gently. 

 

“I—I—I—need some air,” Regulus spluttered as he dashed out of the camp, walking straight toward the first corridor of the maze.

 

“Reg!” he heard Evan call, but he didn’t stop.

 

He didn’t want to.

 

He honestly had no idea where he was going. He just needed to leave. Fast. 

 

His breathing was still ragged. His body was still shaking. 

 

But oddly enough, it didn’t quite feel like a panic attack anymore. 

 

His mind—his mind was lucid. 

 

As lucid as it possibly could be, at least. 

 

And for some absurd reason, it kept replaying the title of that stupid song inside his head. 

 

The Night We Met.

 

Regulus halted at once and shut his eyes. He slumped against one of the stone walls of the maze, sliding down it as he dragged a hand across his face. 

 

A lump formed in his throat again.

 

Another hot tear slipped from his eye. But this time, he was alone.

 

So he just let himself cry.

 

He’d think about why he was doing it later.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

“What the hell just happened?” Sirius sputtered. 

 

He was absolutely stunned. 

 

He’d always had this image of Regulus in his mind; cold, emotionless. Incapable of perceiving emotions and feelings. As though nothing could ever hurt him or bother him.

 

That had changed completely now. 

 

The sob that escaped from Regulus’ lips was—utterly gut-wrenching.

 

As though something had ripped his soul apart from the inside.

 

Maybe the whole leader thing had truly gotten to him, or maybe he just was someone who was meant to protect people in general, but Sirius felt extremely sorry for him. 

 

He closed his hands into fists and placed them on the ground. He was genuinely close to embarrassing himself in front of everyone and just—go check on him. 

 

Because. Because he felt like he had to.

 

“I think he’s just—stressed,” Lily said after several seconds. “I mean, we all know about the nightmares.”

 

“I don’t think it’s about the nightmares, though,” Pandora said quietly. “They never seemed to bother him to get to this point.”

 

Sirius pursed his lips in thought. 

 

She was right. At least, he assumed she was. He didn’t know Regulus well enough or spent enough time with him to fully understand the gravity of his nightmares. He knew they were bad, obviously. And he knew he wanted to—know more about them. But Regulus, rightfully so, was never going to open himself up with him. 

 

Not that Sirius wanted him to. He was just curious. 

 

Suddenly, Barty stood up and began walking decisively toward the first corridor of the maze.

 

“Where are you going?” Sirius inquired. 

 

“To check on him, of course,” Barty stated, as though it was obvious. 

 

Sirius gave a faint nod. 

 

“Right,” he whispered, noticing a veil of sadness laced in his own voice. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The maze was dark at night.

 

Of course, it was.

 

That was why it was prohibited to walk around it after sundown.

 

Was Barty surprised that Regulus had done just that? Absolutely not.

 

“Reg!” he called desperately. “Regulus!”

 

Silence. 

 

Barty groaned in frustration as he stalked from one corridor to the other. 

 

Every single second without Regulus felt—wrong. 

 

Like torture.

 

He felt like an addict searching desperately for his drug after not taking it for too long.

 

He knew what that meant. Of course, he knew. He’d known for a while. It was just—difficult to admit.

 

Feelings. Something Barty was definitely not good at.

 

He took a turn to the left, stepping into a corridor where the moon shone especially bright. That’s when he saw a familiar head of dark curls, illuminated by its glow.

 

He released a deep breath out, relieved. 

 

Regulus was sitting on the ground, eyes shut closed. It seemed like he was doing some breathing exercises. 

 

Barty slowly approached him, as silent as possible, like he would approach a wounded animal. 

 

“Go away, Barty,” Regulus ordered with a cold voice.

 

Barty pouted automatically. “How did you know it was me?”

 

“You were literally yelling my name like a parrot.”

 

Barty snorted and then slowly sat down next to him. “Oh, I’m sorry for being worried about my friends. How could I be so inconsiderate?” he joked with a smile.

 

Regulus finally fluttered his eyes open, and their gazes met.

 

Fuck, Barty thought as his lips curled down at once. 

 

Regulus’ eyes were completely rimmed red.

 

He had been crying. Regulus had been crying here all alone. 

 

Barty felt his heart tighten at once.

 

“I just—needed to be alone,” Regulus whispered after several seconds.

 

“Yeah, I figured,” Barty whispered as softly as he possibly could. “Do you want to—tell me what happened? If you want.”

 

He had never seen Regulus like that. Fragile. 

 

He wasn’t sure how to behave.

 

Regulus gulped loudly. He began fidgeting with his hands. As though he was nervous.

 

“I thought I was having a panic attack,” he mumbled. “Don’t think it was that, though.”

 

“A panic attack?” Barty said, alarmed. “Shit, Reg—you could’ve told me I—I could have helped—,”

 

“It wasn’t,” Regulus cut him off as he shook his head. “It wasn’t that.”

 

There was a long silence. 

 

Barty knew that Regulus didn’t like to open up with people, so he didn’t push. Didn’t beg for an explanation. Not unless Regulus wanted him to. So he just stared at him. Because that was what he liked to do the most.

 

“It was—,” Regulus began after several minutes. It looked like he was forcing the words out of his lips. “It was—what he said. The boy. The stranger. The thing he said.”

 

Barty frowned. This was not the answer he expected. 

 

“What did he say?” he inquired, confused.

 

Regulus sighed. “The song. The Night We Met. I just—if I think about it, I just—,” he sighed. “It’s stupid, I know. Please don’t make fun of me.”

 

Barty’s lips curled up softly. 

 

As much as Barty liked the sharp side of Regulus’ personality, he couldn’t hide the fact that he also, truly, loved this one too now that he was witnessing it. 

 

“I would never make fun of you, Reg. Alright? Never.”

 

Regulus looked up at him with his blue, ocean eyes. They were still glistening with tears.

 

“Maybe it’s a song you loved in your past life and hearing about it just—triggered something,” Barty said. 

 

Regulus didn’t answer. His lips were still curled down; his eyes still utterly sad.

 

So Barty just—tried doing what he did best. 

 

Make people laugh.

 

“Or maybe you and the stranger actually knew each other and that was the song you guys serenaded to one another,” he said as he wiggled his brows.

 

Regulus widened his eyes. “What?”

 

“Maybe you guys were dating. Long-lost lovers that life separated with lost memories. I’d read a book about it,” Barty laughed. 

 

Every word he pronounced made his skin crawl more and more with every passing second.

 

But, unexpectedly, it got the reaction he desired. 

 

Because Regulus had started laughing. “You’re so stupid.”

 

Barty chuckled softly. “Well. You’re still laughing, aren’t you?”

 

“Yeah,” Regulus smiled. “I am.”

 

That, Barty thought.

 

That thing about butterflies in the stomach. 

 

He definitely knew what people meant by that.

 

Regulus bit his lip in nervousness. 

 

“Thank you,” he said after several seconds. “Really.”

 

Barty felt himself waver for a second as his heart pounded against his chest.

 

“You’re welcome, Reg,” he then whispered. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

No one had asked Regulus about his previous breakdown when they'd returned to camp.

 

He had simply stalked toward the firepit, gaze fixed on the ground, and thrown himself under his blanket.

 

He was grateful that no one had made uncomfortable interrogations to him. He wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. It took him every ounce of willingness to open up with Barty, every ounce of strength to let his mind rest for enough time not to care about showing emotions or weaknesses.

 

Dorcas and Pandora had their turn in the tents, while Evan and Barty settled on the opposite side of the firepit, so the spot next to him was empty that night.

 

Good, he thought.

 

He craved time alone more than anything at the moment.

 

He fluttered his eyes shut, ready to let that awful day disappear—

 

“Is it okay if I sleep here?”

 

Regulus’ eyes flung open. 

 

The stranger was standing over him awkwardly with a blanket on his hands, looking absolutely uncomfortable. He was gnawing at his bottom lip uncontrollably. It’d probably bleed if he kept biting it so harshly. 

 

“No,” Regulus said coolly, though he felt himself waver.

 

The boy gave a faint nod. He turned back to leave, but then promptly returned to his steps.

 

“I just—I wanted to ask how you were,” he blurted out. 

 

Regulus winced. “How am I?”

 

“Yes. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

 

Regulus’ eyes darkened at once. He closed his hands into fists.

 

No weaknesses, his mind reminded him.

 

No weaknesses.

 

“You think I cried because of you?” Regulus grimaced. “That’s very presumptuous of you, since I literally do not know you.”

 

The stranger’s lips curled down. 

 

“I thought you—remembered something. When I said the name of the song,” he whispered. “I’m sorry if it wasn’t like that.”

 

“Definitely wasn’t,” Regulus shot back, though his voice shook slightly. 

 

He was a liar. He was a fucking liar.

 

There was a long silence.

 

“I noticed you’ve been staring at me,” the boy said after several seconds.

 

Regulus forced himself to look as blank as possible, though he felt his jaw twitch. 

 

He'd noticed. Of course he had. 

 

Everyone else did. Why wouldn’t he?

 

Great job, Regulus. Great fucking job.

 

“Yeah, well. I don’t really trust a guy who shows up here randomly and appears to only remember my name,” Regulus said coldy. “Besides—it’s not like you haven’t done the same thing.”

 

“I did stare at you,” the boy stated. “I’m not hiding it.”

 

Regulus quirked one brow. “I have a great reason to do that. You don’t.”

 

“I do,” the boy countered immediately. 

 

Regulus blinked.

 

“I do,” the boy repeated, as though he wanted to convince him. He gulped loudly and then continued. “Ever since I woke up here, I—I felt like we’re sort of—connected? Like there’s a connection between us. Me knowing your name…that has to mean something, right?”

 

Regulus didn’t answer. He wasn’t able to.

 

He looked up at the boy’s blue eyes and—

 

Again.

 

That punch in the stomach. He felt it again. 

 

He swallowed as his hands began shaking.

 

That has to mean something. That has to mean something.

 

No coincidences. No coincidences.

 

“The others could be—right,” the boy continued after several seconds. “Maybe we knew each other.” His lips curled up faintly. 

 

Regulus kept his gaze fixed on the boy. He wasn’t even paying attention to what he was saying anymore. He felt completely, absolutely entranced by the color of his eyes.

 

His heart skipped a beat as the stranger kept talking.

 

His brain emptied.

 

Only one thought remained.

 

These eyes. I know these eyes.

 

“I remembered something earlier,” James suddenly said.

 

It only took those four words to finally make Regulus focus again. 

 

“What did you remember?” he inquired at once, eager to know.

 

“My name,” the boy said with a proud smile. “It’s James.”

 

Regulus stilled. 

 

James.

 

“James?” 

 

The name felt—right on his tongue. 

 

James gave a nod. “I just—remembered it randomly before dinner.” He smiled.

 

“And you didn’t say anything?!” Regulus yelled, way louder than he intended.

 

James raised one shoulder and gave a shy smile. “I kind of like the name Bambi.”

 

What?

 

Regulus opened his mouth in disbelief. “Excuse me?”

 

A light chuckle came out of James’ mouth. His eyes scrunched slightly as he did. “It’s true. I like it.”

 

Regulus shook his head, utterly stunned. 

 

James. A boy with blue eyes. 

 

A boy so confusing he felt like an enigma. A boy who knew his name. A boy that made his hands tingle and his heart tremble.

 

A boy Regulus wanted to know everything about.

 

“Wait—you remember?!” someone suddenly bellowed, making both Regulus and James turn. “Shit! Everybody! His name is James! His name is James!”

 

Regulus rolled his eyes. He wasn’t ready for the mess the camp was about to turn into. 

 

“What??”

 

“Oh my god, guys!”

 

“He doesn’t look like a James.”

 

“Yes, he does! It’s perfect.”

 

James laughed out loud now, probably for the first time since he’d appeared in the maze. “I didn’t mean to cause that big of a reaction.”

 

“Well, excuse us for being curious,” joked Mary with faux offence.

 

“Now we can finally stop calling you Bambi.” Frank beamed as he drew closer and high-fived James. 

 

“Actually, I really like it. You can still use it.”

 

Sirius chortled in disbelief and patted James on the back. “We’ll still call you Bambi then,” he agreed. 

 

James gave an eager nod and giggled. 

 

His eyes flitted toward Regulus and he smiled again. As wide as he possibly could. 

 

Regulus felt his heart do a proper backflip against his chest.

 

Shit.

Notes:

The Night We Met - Lord Huron.

Chapter 4: Lost and Found

Evan was tired.

 

He hadn’t even been awake for ten minutes, and Barty was already driving him mad.

 

“Can you just—try it? For me?” he asked as he held a piece of bread full of jam in his hands.

 

Barty shook his head vigorously like a spoiled child, crossing his arms against his chest. “I’m telling you. I’m allergic. I have a feeling.”

 

Evan sighed deeply. “Just—one bite. One.”

 

“I’m good with my grapes, thank you.”

 

“They’re not the same thing,” Evan pointed out, absolutely exasperated. “This will give you more energy. Jam and bread combination? Perfect for the morning. It will give you all the energy you need.”

 

Barty furrowed his brows. “Energy for what?”

 

“To run inside the maze like we always do you fucking idio—”

 

“Shut the fuck up,” Mary grumbled as she threw herself deeper inside her blanket. 

 

Ops. 

 

They’d probably woken her up.

 

Barty rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying. There’s a reason why I don’t eat gluten. Maybe I was celiac. And you don’t want me to drop dead suddenly because I ate some fucking bread, right, Evan?” he said as he blinked mockingly.

 

Evan scoffed. “You’ll drop dead anyway since you’ll probably pass out from low sugar.”

 

Barty pouted. 

 

Like, full-on pouted in front of him. 

 

Evan’s heart flipped.

 

“Will you catch me if I fall, my guardian angel?” Barty asked as he made a voice. 

 

Evan pressed his lips together to suppress a smile. 

 

He was so stupid. Like genuinely. He was an idiot. 

 

A crazy, funny, unfairly gorgeous idiot.

 

Evan couldn’t stand him. Evan couldn’t get enough of him. 

 

“I’ll let you drop face flat on the ground, actually,” he responded as he winked.

 

Barty furrowed his brows in faux offence. “Don’t believe you.”

 

“You should.”

 

Barty took one of the grapes in his hand and threw it at his face. Hard. 

 

“Ouch! Are you stupid?” Evan yelled, making Mary grunt again. 

 

“You two need to shut the fuck up right now before I commit a homicide,” she grumbled.

 

Evan glanced up at Barty. They locked eyes for a couple of seconds before they suddenly—burst out in laughter, making even more noise than before.

 

“Oh God,” Evan chortled.

 

He loved this. He truly, wholly loved his small morning moments with Barty. Just having one a day could manage to change his entire mood or the entire track of his day. 

 

Barty chuckled, shaking his head. He finished eating his grapes and then slowly stood up. 

 

“Where are you going?” Evan asked him as he furrowed his brows.

 

“To wake Reg up,” Barty simply replied as he walked toward the other side of the firepit, leaving Evan alone.

 

Evan gulped and gave him a faint nod. 

 

“Of course,” he whispered, though no one really heard him. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Remus couldn’t stop yawning. 

 

He’d tried to keep his mouth shut with all the strength in his body, but he just—couldn’t stop.

 

His sight was slightly blurry as his eyes burned. He kept rubbing at them and shaking his head, forcing himself to fully wake up.

 

“You genuinely need to stop waking up this early,” he heard Sirius say from beside him. “I don’t like seeing you this tired every morning.”

 

Remus shook his head. “I’m not tired.”

 

But he was. 

 

“Moons,” Sirius whispered as he drew slightly closer to him; their arms were touching. “I mean it. You can sleep. I’ll force you to.”

 

Remus snorted. “No you won’t.”

 

“I will.”

 

“Then I’ll just…force myself to stay awake,” Remus countered.

 

He looked up at Sirius.

 

Sirius was staring at him intently. Remus saw as his eyes flitted from Remus’ hair to his nose, his cheeks, then down to his lips.

 

Remus felt watched. Extremely so. 

 

And he loved it. He loved glancing at Sirius and noticing his silver eyes fixed on him. 

 

He loved it every single time. 

 

“Why?” Sirius whispered after several seconds, his gaze never drifting away. “Why do you keep doing it?”

 

Remus felt himself waver. 

 

Maybe this was it. Maybe this was the right time. 

 

The perfect time to finally—open up. To admit it after so long.

 

Lily would be proud of him. He knew she would be.

 

He gulped and smiled. “I want to.”

 

Was that an admission of something? Not really.

 

Still, Remus noticed Sirius’ face softening at once. His lips curled up faintly, and his silver eyes—became happier. 

 

Or it seemed like it, at least. 

 

Warmth spread all over Remus’ stomach at the sight. 

 

“I’ll make you breakfast,” Sirius announced after several seconds with a huge grin over his lips. “What do you want?”

 

Remus raised one shoulder. “Whatever you want.”

 

Sirius arched one brow. “I’ll have to surprise you, then.” He smiled. 

 

“Yes,” Remus whispered as he chuckled softly. “Surprise me.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus was not a morning person. Or at least, not now. In the past? In the life he didn’t remember? He probably had been.

 

He had this weird thought; that maybe he had been forced to wake up early so often in the past that now, his own brain was telling him to simply…sleep. Rest. 

 

Just because he could. Just because he deserved it. 

 

So he did, as much as he could.

 

Even when he heard the others waking up and the smell of fresh jam pervading his nostrils. 

 

He forced himself to sleep, especially when the nightmares weren’t as intense as usual.

 

That was, until he suddenly felt something tickling his nose. 

 

It was soft, extremely so, so he assumed it was probably a feather.

 

The problem was, it kept stroking on his nose repeatedly, and now he was starting to feel the urge to sneeze.

 

“Good morning, handsome boy,” he heard Barty sing as the feather kept caressing his nose. 

 

Regulus groaned without opening his eyes.

 

“Go away. Now.”

 

“Mmm…don’t think I will,” Barty giggled. “You’re missing breakfast. Pandora made jam for everyone.”

 

Regulus sighed deeply. He was genuinely this close to wrap his hands around Barty’s neck and strangle him.

 

He should've just made a group of his own. Where the only people allowed were him, him, and himself.

 

“I don’t like jam,” he grumbled as he threw himself deeper inside his blanket.

 

“That’s a fucking lie,” Barty countered back as he dug the feather inside one of Regulus’ nostrils. 

 

And Regulus just—sneezed. Loudly. 

 

He snapped his eyes open and glared at Barty, who was giggling loudly beside him. 

 

“I genuinely hope you die in your sleep,” he cursed through his teeth.

 

“Please.” Barty laughed. “You’d die without me.”

 

“I’d throw a party, actually,” he mumbled.

 

With a loud huff, he finally threw off his blanket and slowly sat up as he rubbed at his eyes. He blinked rapidly and then began to glance around the camp.

 

Everyone was already awake, unsurprisingly. 

 

Most of them were eating breakfast, as Lily and Pandora were giving out pieces of bread to each person on camp, while Evan and Frank were collecting some dirty clothes and taking them over to the laundry area.

 

It felt weird, seeing the two groups blending together so quickly. It wasn’t something Regulus thought was possible. 

 

But oddly enough, it didn’t feel too…unwelcoming to him. 

 

His eyes instinctively began searching for someone as they flitted frantically around camp. 

 

He couldn’t help it, really. He wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore.

 

He glanced around the fire, to the tents, then turned his head to check the laundry area.

 

Regulus furrowed his brows in confusion.

 

“Where’s James?” he asked Barty, snapping his head toward him. 

 

Barty frowned. “How am I supposed to know?”

 

“Because you’ve been awake for hours now?” Regulus said as though it was obvious. 

 

“Well,” Barty said, raising one shoulder. “I haven’t seen him today.”

 

A weird feeling crept inside Regulus’ stomach at once.

 

“What the hell,” he whispered as he stood abruptly, stalking closer to the first corridor of the maze right after the border of their camp. 

 

“Reg?” he heard Dorcas call, making him spin around. “What’s wrong?”

 

I don’t know, he wanted to say. 

 

His hands were sweating. His throat felt tight.

 

He was full-on panicking.

 

“Has anyone seen James?” he asked as he glanced at everyone. 

 

“Mmm,” Frank hummed in thought after sucking one of his fingers full of jam. “Not since last night, I think. After the whole name thing.”

 

Lily knitted her brows. “Didn’t he sleep in a tent?”

 

“No,” Regulus said coolly. “He slept beside me.”

 

He had. 

 

Despite Regulus saying no, despite his mind telling him to be careful, to be wary—he had given up last night and let James sleep in the spot near the fire next to him.

 

There had been no vicinity or touches, obviously. Not even a faint brush of arms or legs.

 

Regulus would have never permitted it. 

 

He’d never let someone touch him—let alone someone he didn’t know. 

 

“That’s weird,” Sirius said as he stood up from the ground, leaving his breakfast down. “Maybe he just wanted a minute alone?”

 

“A minute?” Regulus repeated, his voice rising suddenly. He didn’t know why. He didn’t know why his stomach had begun feeling tight; why his voice had begun shaking slightly as he spoke. “Frank just said he hasn’t seen him since last night.”

 

“He seemed fine yesterday though. Happy, almost,” Mary pointed out as she crossed her arms. 

 

There was a long silence.

 

“Maybe something…happened to him,” Peter whispered after several seconds, making everyone turn to face him. “What if—the people who beat him wanted him again?”

 

Regulus felt his stomach drop to the ground. 

 

It wasn’t even hurting anymore; it simply—wasn’t there. 

 

“We don’t know that, Pete,” whispered Frank.

 

But that was exactly the problem. 

 

They didn’t know. 

 

James could be lost. James could be hurt. 

 

And for some insane, absurd reason, just the thought of it made Regulus’ skin crawl. 

 

“Well,” Remus said, pushing himself up from the firepit. “Maybe he just—got lost. We’ll skip the daily search and go look for him. I don’t think he could’ve gone too far.”

 

Sirius gave him a determined nod. “I agree. We need to find him. Regulus, what do yo—Regulus?”

 

Regulus didn’t even stop at the sound of his name being called. He was already stalking decisively toward the first corridor of the maze. As though that was his only purpose. 

 

Because it was.

 

He needed to find James. He had to. As soon as possible.

 

Why? 

 

He genuinely didn’t know.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Petals. Petals. Petals.

 

James. James. James.

 

Those were the only two things that circled around Regulus’ mind as he gazed at the corridors in front of him. 

 

They had decided to search around section one and two, as they were the sections closest to camp. They were hoping and praying that James just felt the urge to wander around but then come back. 

 

Because that was the only possible option. 

 

That he had wandered off voluntarily. That no one had taken him. 

 

At least that was what Regulus kept trying to remind himself. 

 

“Why the fuck aren’t there any petals?” Lily asked, frustrated. 

 

“Maybe he didn’t think he needed them because he’s just around here,” Pandora replied softly with a tight smile.

 

Regulus closed his hands into fists.

 

Petals. Petals. Petals. James. James. James.

 

He genuinely felt like throwing up now. His stomach was aching in impossible ways. 

 

He blamed it on skipping breakfast, though deep down he knew that wasn’t the actual reason.

 

Why? Why was he so worried? 

 

Why did everything tied to James seem to affect him especially? 

 

Making him—vulnerable. 

 

Weak, his mind echoed.

 

He breathed shakily and shook his head. 

 

No weaknesses.

No weaknesses.

 

“Guys,” Peter murmured after several seconds. “I have a bad feeling.”

 

“Jesus,” Barty whispered, though his voice was laced with exasperation. “Don’t start again.”

 

Peter began stuttering.

 

“I’m telling you. I have a feeling. Like something bad has happened. Shit—I think they found him. What if this time they didn’t just beat him? What if they just decided to ki—”

 

“I genuinely advise you to shut the fuck up before I cut off your fucking tongue with a knife,” Regulus snarled as he stalked in front of him in a second. 

 

Everyone’s stare promptly turned toward him.

 

For one, single time, he didn’t give a fuck about it.

 

Nothing seemed important to him at the moment. 

 

Peter snapped his mouth shut at once.

 

“Watch your mouth when you talk to my friends, Regulus,” Sirius gritted through his teeth. 

 

“And what, you think saying that he’s probably dead helps anyone?” Regulus argued. 

 

“I think you need to watch your fucking attitude, actually,” shot back Sirius. His jaw twitched with anger. 

 

Regulus felt his eyes darken at once. 

 

“He’s making everyone worry for no fucking reason,” he spat.

 

He’s making me worry.

 

“Can you guys—not do this,” Remus said as he took Sirius’ hand in his. “Peter is right. James could be in danger. Regulus is right. Spreading panic isn’t going to magically bring him back. Now, can we please keep walking? We’ll just waste time if we stop to argue.”

 

“Yeah,” Barty said as he drew closer to Regulus. “Reg, just—let it go. For once.”

 

Regulus kept staring at Sirius, who was staring back. Their eyes were flashing; their faces twisted with fury.

 

Nothing good ever came when two stars collided.

 

“Alright,” said Sirius coolly after a pause as he glanced at Regulus. “Let’s keep walking.”

 

Regulus’ mouth twitched. He closed his eyes and then turned, walking back toward the high corridors of the maze.

 

As he walked, the same two things kept circling back in his mind. 

 

Petals. Petals. Petals.

 

James. James. James.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The dark nest of James’ curls was the first thing Regulus recognized.

 

They’d been walking for a couple hours now, scanning and gazing at every single passage or corridor that appeared before them.

 

After Regulus’ and Sirius’ argument, no one had spoken again. 

 

Regulus had kept his eyes intent on the maze without sparing one single glance at the others. He’d felt Barty’s stare land on him often, but he never stared back. 

 

He’d been too focused. 

 

Too focused on looking for James. 

 

And after what seemed the hundredth corridor they had passed, Regulus had finally spotted him. 

 

James was standing in the middle of a shadowed corridor in the second section, facing the opposite direction with his hands in his pockets.

 

Regulus had honestly never felt more relieved in his life. 

 

Though, no one had to know. 

 

“Where the fuck have you been?” Regulus snarled as he stalked in front of him. His voice was shaking, though the ache in his stomach had finally stopped. 

 

James turned around, facing him. 

 

He looked…normal. Fine.

 

No new bruises, no screams of pain.

 

He was okay. He was safe. He was alive. 

 

He gave Regulus a faint smile and then cleared his throat. 

 

“I was just—taking a walk.”

 

A walk. All of this because of a fucking walk.

 

Regulus drew even closer, his eyes flashing.

 

“A walk?” Regulus fumed. “A fucking walk? Alone?”

 

“We thought you were fucking dead,” Barty hissed through his teeth as he approached them with the others.

 

“I probably should’ve said something,” agreed James as he gave them a clipped smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you guys.”

 

Regulus kept his eyes intent on him. 

 

Something was—off.

 

James’ smile. It didn’t seem like the big, genuine smile of the night before. It felt—different. Fake. As though he was forcing it.

 

Regulus glanced up to James’ eyes. They were as blue as ever. But a bit of redness surrounded them, along with a glassy shine.

 

Regulus narrowed his eyes. 

 

He had been crying. James had been crying.

 

Why had he been crying?

 

“So you’re fine? Nothing has happened?” Lily asked softly as she scanned James’ body intently. As though she was looking for new injuries. 

 

James gave her an earnest nod. “Totally fine.” He smiled. 

 

He was lying. 

 

He was fucking lying. 

 

Regulus was certain of it. 

 

Sirius huffed a laugh. “Are you happy now, Regulus? We found him. Now you can stop treating people like shit.”

 

Regulus snapped his head around and glared at him. “I definitely won’t stop treating you like shit.” 

 

“What a surprise,” Sirius scoffed.

 

“You were worried about me?” he heard James breathe out. 

 

Regulus’ shoulders tensed. His jaw trembled. 

 

He felt himself waver. Because he had no answer. Or at least, not a reasonable one. 

 

Nothing was reasonable to Regulus when it came to James. 

 

“No,” he answered coolly. 

 

But it wasn’t true. And he hated it. Hated every single thing he’d been feeling ever since James showed up here.

 

He hated it. He hated him. Hated his stupid fucking eyes and his stupid fucking voice and his stupid fucking curls. 

 

James gave a short nod. He bit the inside of his cheek. 

 

“Well, in any case—it wasn’t my intention.”

 

Regulus swallowed. 

 

“Just take the fucking petals next time,” he said bitterly.

 

Without looking back, he turned and stalked in the opposite direction.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The group didn’t do much for the rest of the day.

 

They spent the afternoon at camp, as looking for James had already taken up half of their day.

 

When they’d returned back with James, the people who had stayed back at camp, like Dorcas or Mary, had asked James the same exact questions. 

 

And, as Regulus was sure of, James had given the exact same answers. 

 

He wanted to take a walk. He was fine. Nothing had happened.

 

The more the day went on, the more Regulus didn’t believe a word that came out of his mouth. 

 

Evening arrived quickly. 

 

Lily and Pandora had made soup for everyone, and they were now having dinner all together. 

 

The group seemed to grow closer with every passing second.

 

James sat in the spot beside him as he finished the last bits of soup in his cup in silence. Regulus forced himself to stay silent. 

 

But there were so many things he wanted to say. So many questions he wanted to ask. 

 

He kept peeking at James from the corner of his eye, careful not to get caught by him or the others. 

 

“You’re staring,” James suddenly said, making Regulus jolt. 

 

Regulus cleared his throat as he quickly looked down to the ground beneath him. “I’m not.”

 

James gave a faint laugh. “You’re not really subtle about it, you know?” he said before swallowing the last inch of soup down his throat. “I’ll take it as a compliment though. Like your way of telling me that I’m handsome.”

 

Regulus laughed mockingly. 

 

“I don’t think you’re handsome.” 

 

He noticed James’ lips curling up. “Right,” he whispered. 

 

Regulus swallowed. 

 

There was a long silence.

 

James placed his empty cup on the ground and then slightly drew closer to him. 

 

Regulus felt his body tense at once. 

 

“Listen,” James said after several seconds. “If you have something to ask, just do it.”

 

Regulus studied him carefully. James’ expression was unreadable. His mouth was twitching, as though he was bracing himself for whatever question Regulus was about to inquire. 

 

Regulus pursed his lips. 

 

“I noticed your eyes earlier,” he said coolly.

 

James flinched, probably taken aback. “What?”

 

Regulus didn’t waver. “When we found you. They were red. Like—you’d been crying.”

 

James’ face grew pale. His eyes widened at once, though he didn’t look surprised; he looked frightened. As though he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. 

 

That reaction confused Regulus even more.

 

“You saw wrong,” James said after several seconds. His expression had turned completely blank.

 

Regulus’ jaw tensed. “I didn’t see wrong. You’re—you’re lying. You’re lying, James.”

 

“Yeah well, apparently we all do, right?” James grimaced. His voice was cold. 

 

Regulus flinched. His eyes grew impossibly wide.

 

What?

 

He opened his mouth and then promptly closed it. For the first time—ever, he was too stunned to speak. To ask. To move. 

 

“I’m going to sleep,” James said after a moment of silence. He stood up abruptly and took his blanket. He began walking toward the other side of the firepit without sparing a glance at Regulus. 

 

Regulus wanted to stop him. Wanted to ask him what the hell he meant by that.

 

He wanted—so many things. Truths and answers more than anything. 

 

But truths could lead to feelings.

 

And feelings could lead to weaknesses.

 

And Regulus couldn’t afford that.

 

So he just fluttered his eyes closed and took a deep breath in. 

 

He had to regain control of his mind; of his emotions. 

 

He had to remind himself what was actually important inside the maze. How to survive. 

 

No weaknesses.

No weaknesses.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

A rush of cold wind hit Regulus straight in the face, making him shiver violently. 

 

It didn’t feel like the usual wind that came with the evening. It felt harsher; like snow was about to fall.  

 

“Why the fuck is it so cold tonight?” Evan swore as he drew closer to the fire and rubbed his hands together wildly. “Are you guys also feeling it?”

 

“Mm,” Mary hummed. She took her blanket and quickly threw herself inside it. “I’m fucking freezing.”

 

Frank sighed loudly. “I really hope it doesn’t randomly start snowing. It’d be pretty fucking awful waking up all drenched and wet.” 

 

“Well, sucks for you lot,” Sirius said as he giggled. “I’ll be in my tent tonight. Sleeping peacefully as I think about all of you.”

 

“Well,” Barty repeated loudly. “All the progress we’ve made these past few days is completely gone. I hate you just the same.”

 

Sirius chortled loudly. 

 

He gave Barty a faint pat on the head and then disappeared inside his tent with Remus.

 

Regulus yawned loudly. He was especially tired that night.

 

Who knew that worrying for an entire morning could drain a person so much?

 

He gave one last glance at the camp, at his friends on the other side of the firepit, and then, of course, at James.

 

Just to make sure he was actually there.

 

He finally lay back and curled himself into a ball, hoping this position would let him warm himself faster. 

 

He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

 

Snow started falling.

 

Things always become more fun with snow, don’t they?

Notes:

From Eden - Hozier.

Chapter 5: The Shadow

Cold.

 

Everywhere.

 

From his pale skin to the insides of his body.

 

Heavy snow fell, blurring his sight.

 

His cheeks went damp. Was he crying?

 

“Regulus.”

 

His eyes began burning.

 

For the snow? For the tears? He couldn’t tell anymore.

 

“What did you do?”

 

He tasted blood on his tongue.

 

“Regulus, what did you do?”

 

He wanted to answer. He wanted to.

 

He wanted to apologize.

 

I’m sorry.

 

I’m sorry.

 

I’m sorr—

 

 

 

Regulus woke with a start and immediately jumped up. 

 

That had been a bad nightmare. Probably the worst he had ever had since waking up on his first day in the maze. It had felt so intense, so real, that he could still perceive that same exact cold from it. 

 

His cheeks were freezing and drenched with what he assumed were tears. He cursed inside his head. He had never cried for a nightmare before. He wondered if he should start worrying about them a bit more than usual. 

 

He finally forced his eyes open. 

 

The sight in front of him was even worse than the nightmare itself.

 

The entire camp was completely covered in snow and ice. 

 

The ground was coated in at least ten centimeters of snow, and the walls of the maze around them were entirely iced over, making them shine. The sky had turned white. 

 

No clouds. No sun. Nothing. Just white.

 

Regulus felt his jaw tremble wildly. He rubbed one hand over his damp cheeks, and assumed that the snow that had fallen during the night had probably caused the wetness. 

 

What the hell was going on?

 

The temperature inside the maze had always been pretty much the same. They’d never seen snow, or even rain, for that matter.

 

An eerie feeling surged through his body.

 

He quickly glanced around the camp. The entire group was already gathered around the firepit, some swallowed up by their blankets, some drawing as close as possible to the fire as they tried to find any kind of warmth. 

 

Barty was beside him. As always. 

 

His entire body was quivering violently despite wearing both a jacket and a blanket. His dark hair was a stark contrast to the paleness of his face, though some drops of white were coated over it. 

 

“We’re going to die if it stays like this,” Evan rasped from the other side of the firepit. 

 

Regulus quickly snapped his head to see Evan curled into himself, his arms wrapped tightly around his frame. A drop of blood fell from his cracked lips. 

 

Regulus was about to warn him about the blood, but he soon realized that he couldn’t open his mouth to speak. His lips were too chapped. His tongue felt completely numb. 

 

Shit. That was why no one was talking.

 

He sighed frustrated as he drew closer to the fire. 

 

The loud sound of teeth chattering together and hands rubbing with one another were the only things that one could hear at the moment. 

 

Regulus looked up from the fire as a mumbled curse left Remus’ mouth. 

 

Remus was shaking much more than the others. He looked like he was spasming on the snow from how violently his entire body was trembling. 

 

Sirius suddenly stood up. He removed his own blanket from around him and handed it to Remus. 

 

“Take it,” Sirius ordered as blood dripped from his mouth. 

 

Remus shook his head, ready to fire back a retort, but his lips wouldn’t permit him. 

 

“Moons,” said Sirius earnestly. 

 

Remus closed his eyes and breathed out from his nose. He gave a faint, almost imperceptible nod and then threw himself beneath Sirius’ blanket. 

 

Regulus closed his eyes as he kept rubbing at his hands repeatedly. He felt a gentle hand on his back.

 

“Dddddo—do you wwwwant—my blanket?” he heard Barty croak from behind him. 

 

Regulus shook his head. 

 

“Don’t speak, Barty,” he whispered. He felt his bottom lip sting slightly. He looked down to the snow and noticed some crimson drops tinting it. 

 

He turned around to glance at Barty. 

 

“You’re bleeding,” Barty whispered. 

 

“You too,” Regulus replied as he gazed at Barty’s lips. 

 

They stared at one another for some time before Regulus whirled his head around. As though he had just remembered something important; something he forgot to do.

 

See how James was doing.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

James was shaking horribly. 

 

He was curled into himself as he kept rocking back and forth and mumbling things under his breath; things Regulus couldn’t decipher.

 

His skin had turned white as snow, and his cracked lips were now an odd mixture between blue and purple. They almost matched the deep blue of his eyes, Regulus thought as he eyed him intently. 

 

Regulus laid his hands on the ground and grabbed some snow, closing his fists around it and making it crumble.

 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

 

He was worried. He was fucking worried. Not for himself. Not even for the others. At least, not as much.

 

For James. He was worried for James.

 

You aren’t, his mind echoed.

 

But he was. He could feel it. He could feel it every time James shivered, every time a drop of blood fell from his lip, every time he closed his eyes and cursed within himself. 

 

He was worried. He’d been worried yesterday. And he was now.

 

And Regulus still had no fucking idea why. 

  

No weaknesses.

No weaknesses.

 

But it was becoming really fucking hard not to show them. Especially with James near him. He was ruining everything.

 

Regulus swallowed a hard lump in his throat and looked away toward the others.

 

Sirius was pacing restlessly around the firepit like a caged animal. Regulus didn’t know if he was trying to warm himself up or suppress some deep-rooted frustration.

 

Sirius suddenly halted and looked at the sky.

 

“If I ever find out who the fuck put us in this fucking—,” he yelled, pointing a furious finger toward one of the cameras placed between two walls of the maze. “I swear to God, I’ll kill all of you. I will. Just wait until I fucking figure out how to get to you.”

 

“Sirius,” Lily mumbled. “Stop it.”

 

“No!” growled Sirius as he spat some blood from his mouth. “Look at us. Fucking look at us. Look at what they’re doing. Fucking psychopaths. I’ll kill all of them.” 

 

No one replied anymore. Sirius’ frustration was their frustration. They all understood it. They all understood him. They honestly couldn’t blame him one bit for this outburst. 

 

What had they done to deserve this? What kind of psychopath would put a group of teenagers through this? Was this a punishment? Had they done—something wrong?

 

“Shit,” Sirius cursed under his breath. He dashed toward the pile of dishes beside the fire. 

 

“What are you doing?” Mary rasped. Her teeth chattered.

 

“Getting you all hot water before you fucking die,” shot back Sirius as he took out a cup and set it over the fire. His hands shook wildly as he did. He spat another drop of blood before pouring the water in the cup. 

 

As he waited for the water to warm, Regulus noticed that Sirius’ eyes kept peeking automatically behind him, where Remus was. 

 

The worry in Sirius’ eyes was transparent. 

 

The muscle on Sirius’ jaw twitched. He gave one final look at Remus and then promptly turned his head around.

 

His eyes locked with Regulus’.

 

None of them dropped their gaze or moved it. It almost felt like—they were talking with each other. Talking without speaking. 

 

Regulus didn’t know what Sirius wanted to tell him as he eyed him. 

 

The only thing Regulus did know was that the worry he had seen in Sirius' eyes when he looked at Remus was still there as Sirius looked at him. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Remus had been right there.

 

He had been. Right. There. Beside him. 

 

He’d been sipping some of the water that Sirius had warmed up for them, for him. Just a second ago. He was sipping on some water right beside him. 

 

And he’d looked better, or at least that’s what Sirius had thought as he last glanced at him. 

 

“Ssssssirius,” he’d heard Remus mumble. “I donnntttt feeeelll wellllll—,”

 

And before he could’ve caught him, before he could’ve done anything, Remus fell face flat on the snow. 

 

“Remus!” he yelled as he rushed next to him. He turned his body over immediately. 

 

Sirius’ eyes grew wide at the horrific sight in front of him. Remus’ skin was completely pale. His lips were blue, covered by a thin layer of blood. His eyelashes were coated in snow.

 

But most of all, he was unresponsive.

 

Passed out. Remus had just passed out right in front of his eyes.

 

“Shit. Shit. Shit! Help me!” 

 

He felt people rushing closer to him, though he never lifted his eyes from Remus’ body. He couldn’t. He absolutely fucking couldn’t. He began shaking his body to try and wake him as the others around him panicked. 

 

“Remus? Remus!” he heard Marlene and Frank shout repeatedly. 

 

“Sirius, what do we do?!” Peter shrieked.

 

I don’t know, he wanted to scream. 

 

Panic was the only thing his body and mind could feel at the moment. 

 

Anyone but him. Anyone but him. Anyone but him.

 

Was this a fucking punishment for the threats he’d made earlier? 

 

Take me. Take me. Not him. Never him. 

 

“Sirius,” Lily urged, getting his attention. She had her cup with warm water on one hand and a piece of cloth on the other. “He’s hypothermic. Let me deal with him.”

 

No. No. No. 

 

Remus needed him. He had to take care of him. He had to.

 

“Sirius,” insisted Lily, pushing him away. “We don’t have time.” 

 

Sirius almost told her to fuck off. Told her that he was the one that was meant to take care of Remus. 

 

But in reality? He actually had no idea what he was supposed to do. 

 

Because every passing second with Remus unconscious the knot in his stomach kept growing bigger and bigger and fucking bigger. 

 

Sirius’ body was shaking so violently he thought he was about to have a seizure. And he knew. He knew that the trembles weren’t even from the cold anymore. 

 

“He’s going to be fine,” Mary murmured as she gave him a clipped smile, though her eyes were shining.

 

“Yeah,” Frank said as he cupped his bloody lips with one hand. “He’s going to be.”

 

Sirius gulped loudly. He watched as Lily drenched the cloth in the water and then passed it over Remus’ face, his fingers, his head, anything reachable. 

 

He watched for what felt like a lifetime. 

 

Because that was the only thing he could do. Watch. And pray that whatever Lily was doing would somehow work. 

 

Some of the people from the other group, like Pandora and Evan, approached them cautiously and gave up their blankets to give them to Remus. Sirius didn’t even have the strength to thank them. 

 

Tears welled up in his eyes as he kept gazing at Remus’ unconscious body. 

 

Marlene noticed and took his hand in hers and squeezed it softly. Frank gave him a gentle pat on the head. Mary hugged him from behind. Peter’s eyes never left his face for a second. 

 

He’d be utterly lost without them.

 

“Please, wake up,” he whispered to Remus as one tear fell down his cheek. “Please.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

He had no idea how much time had passed. 

 

Could have been ten minutes, could have been two hours, could have been an entire day. 

 

Time was an abstract thing. Something unreachable. Something fake. 

 

What was real, was Remus’ collapsed body right in front of him. 

 

“Why isn’t he waking up?” Sirius asked impatiently. He was holding one of Remus’ freezing hands with his as he tried to pass some warmth into his body.

 

“I don’t know,” Lily whispered, resigned. She was still rubbing the cloth over Remus’ face, though her movements had begun slowing down. As though she was starting to feel hopeless. “I—I’ve tried everything. I don’t know how to warm him up if not like this. He’s close to the fire. He’s wrapped in blankets. I can only do so much.”

 

“Much?” Sirius hissed. He felt his eyes darken. “You need to do everything, Lily. Fucking everything.”

 

He spat another drop of blood. 

 

He noticed how the snow was now completely covered in them. Everyone’s lips were now cracked from all the shouting they’d done, and their chins had crimson stains all over them, so that was definitely the reason why. 

 

“As I said,” Lily said earnestly. “I’m doing my best.”

 

”You’re not doing enough!” he snarled.

 

Lily flinched. 

 

“Sirius,” Marlene gasped from behind him. “It’s not her fucking fault.”

 

“Well it’s not mine either, isn’t it?” Sirius lashed out.

 

“Oi!” Pandora yelled as she stood at once, drawing closer to him in a threatening way. “We’re all worried for him. You’re not the only one. That doesn’t give you the right to be mean to us. Especially not your friends.”

 

Sirius gulped loudly.

 

He knew that. He knew Lily wasn’t to blame. That she was doing everything in her capacity to wake Remus up. He knew how close the two of them were.

 

But they couldn’t understand. They couldn’t understand how worried he was. How their worry was nothing compared to what Sirius was feeling at the moment. 

 

What’s a star without his moon? 

 

Nothing. That’s how Sirius felt without Remus by his side. It had been like this ever since their eyes first met on the first days in the maze. As soon as Sirius’ eyes met Remus’—that had been it for him.

 

“I belong here,” he had thought. 

 

And he did. He belonged to Remus. And it was the best thing that had happened to him inside this hell of a maze.

 

But he also belonged to Lily. To Frank. To Marlene. To Peter. To Mary. 

 

He had promised to lead them. To protect them. To make them feel safe in a situation that was everything but safe. 

 

He was a leader. He was their fucking leader. 

 

And right now, he was acting as anything but that. 

 

“You’re right,” he whispered as he glanced at Lily. “I’m sorry, Lils.”

 

Lily gave him a faint smile. “I know you’re worried,” she breathed. “But I truly am doing everything I can.”

 

Sirius nodded.

 

”I know.”

 

He looked down toward Remus. He felt his lips tremble. He squeezed Remus’ hand in his even tighter. 

 

Please, he begged inside his head.

 

 Please please please please. 

 

“You’re hurting my hand.”

 

Sirius immediately widened his eyes.

 

“Remus?” called Lily, almost shouting.

  

A soft grunt pushed past Remus’ lips. He scrunched his nose and then slowly fluttered his eyes open. 

 

Sirius felt as though he had just learnt how to breathe. 

 

He felt people approaching them, calling Remus’ name softly.

 

“What—,” Remus rasped. “What happened?”

 

“You passed out for a bit,” Mary said as she gently began stroking Remus’ hair with her fingers. “But we took good care of you,” she chuckled as she sniffled.

 

“You really scared us all,” Frank murmured as he gave him a soft smile. “Even the others. Sirius here was crying,” he said as he patted Sirius’ head gently. 

 

Sirius promptly felt everyone’s stare turn toward him.

 

And he still was. Crying. He was crying like a fucking baby. 

 

He was so relieved. He was so relieved he couldn’t do anything else but cry. 

 

“He still is, apparently,” Barty joked, making everyone chuckle lightly. 

 

Remus looked up at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he murmured. 

 

Sirius gave him a wet laugh and took his hand to his mouth. “It’s happy tears,” he mumbled against the skin of Remus’ hand. “It’s happy tears.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Barty was worried.

 

Unlike Regulus, he usually didn’t care about hiding emotions; when he was happy, when he was angry, when he was upset.

 

It came naturally to him, showing them.

 

So now, seeing his friends, seeing Regulus shaking violently against him, he couldn’t help but feel worried—and showing it. 

 

In the end, he had insisted so much on giving up his blanket and giving it to Regulus, that Regulus had simply surrendered. There had been a compromise; “we’re going to share it,” Regulus had told him. And Barty had agreed. 

 

Well, most of the blanket was now completely wrapped around Regulus, but Barty was fine with that. He was absolutely, one hundred percent fine with that. 

 

If it meant keeping him a bit warmer, then so be it.

 

Remus suddenly passing out had honestly frightened him more than he expected. And he definitely didn’t want the same thing happening to Regulus. 

 

Despite Regulus forcing himself to look cold and emotionless, he wasn’t very good at hiding things from Barty. Because Barty knew Regulus. He had spent an entire month watching him, memorizing every single inch of his face. Every expression, every wrinkle. He knew every emotion that flickered across it.

 

So Barty knew, every time Regulus’ eyes flitted to the other side of the firepit where James was, that he was dying of worry.

 

A worry so real, so visceral, that it made Barty’s stomach curl into itself every time he took a glimpse at Regulus’ face. 

 

Barty still kept looking at him. Even though it hurt. Even though it was painful. Because it was the most beautiful pain he could ever endure. 

 

As he looked, he suddenly noticed a faint yellow light near one of Regulus’ blue eyes. 

 

Barty scrunched his eyes to take a better look.

 

Was that the sun? Was the cold going away?

 

The light kept growing bigger and bigger with every passing second, and it was now covering half of Regulus’ nose. 

 

“Why the fuck are you looking at me like that?” Regulus asked him with furrowed brows. 

 

Barty didn’t answer at first. He just kept staring with widened eyes. 

 

What. The. Fuck. 

 

“Reg—you’re—you’re fucking glowing,” he stuttered.

 

Regulus’ eyes grew impossibly wide. “What?”

 

Barty followed the light’s source with his eyes and quickly realized it was coming from one of the maze walls.

 

He stood, leaving the blanket to Regulus, and dashed toward the wall with earnest determination. It wasn’t easy though, as the high snow made his legs barely move. 

 

His mouth gaped in absolute shock as soon as he reached the wall. 

 

“Oh my God,” he whispered.

 

“What?” asked Regulus. “What is it?”

 

Barty kept staring at the wall with his mouth wide open.

 

The symbol they had seen the days prior, the one that seemed to follow them anywhere, was shining brightly before his eyes.

 

Not all of it, though. Not the circle. Not the line.

 

Only the triangle.

 

“The thing we’ve seen,” Barty managed to say. He gulped down some of the blood that had formed on his tongue. “The triangle. It’s here too. And it’s fucking glowing.”

 

“What?!” Dorcas exclaimed.

 

Barty felt a rush of footsteps behind him. 

 

“Why the fuck is it glowing randomly?” Sirius inquired from beside him.

 

Barty shook his head. He pursed his lips. “I have no idea.” 

  

“First the fucking snow and now this,” Mary laughed bitterly. “Did they finally decide to kill us this morning? Mm?” she yelled as she looked at the sky. “Good job. Good fucking job. About time, might I add. I’ve been waiting for this day to come, you fucking bastards.”

 

Barty crossed his arms against his chest. 

 

Was that what was actually happening? Were they simply—going to kill them? Now? After so long? 

 

He glanced beside him and noticed that Regulus had rushed to his side. He wasn’t looking at Barty, though. His eyes were fixed on the wall in an almost alarming way. 

 

“Reg?” Barty called. 

 

But Regulus didn’t turn. Didn’t move. Didn’t even blink. He kept staring at the wall. As though he was hypnotized. 

 

As though he couldn’t even hear Barty calling his name. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Touch it.

 

Regulus, touch it.

 

Touch it. Touch it. Touch it.

 

The voices pervaded every corner of his mind. The world around him had completely disappeared. The sound of the others talking was muffled by the thundering murmurs inside his brain. 

 

He was staring at the triangle so intently that he hadn’t blinked for what felt like hours. 

 

He didn’t feel the cold. Didn’t feel the stare of the others on him. He didn’t feel anything. 

 

He should’ve been more careful. He should've paid more attention to the signs; the small details that kept leading him and the maze together. 

 

Maybe he wouldn’t be in this situation now. A situation where voices kept yelling at him to touch the symbol. Demanding it. Again. It was happening again. And he couldn’t do anything about it but raise his hand earnestly to graze the wall in front of him. 

 

“Regulus,” he heard someone call his name. “Don’t. Please. Can you hear me? Regulus—,”

 

Touch it, Regulus.

 

Now.

 

Do it now.

 

It felt as though his mind was battling with itself. Where the rational part, the sane part, kept trying to bring him back to his senses, while the other, the voice, kept urging him and his body to move.

 

A hand wrapped around his wrist. 

 

For a moment, he thought he had turned back to reality. 

 

“Regulus,” James whispered from beside him. “Don’t.”

 

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. 

 

Regulus closed his eyes and harshly removed the hand from his wrist. He didn’t waver for another second. 

 

He raised one hand before anyone could stop him again. 

 

Was he doing the right thing?

 

That was a question he couldn’t even ask himself. Because no rational thoughts were forming inside his brain at the moment. 

 

His fingers touched the triangle. 

 

The voices in his mind vanished as soon as he did. His ears began ringing wildly, making him immediately jump back from the wall. 

 

“Shit, Reg!” he heard Barty scream as he drew closer to him at once. “Are you okay?” 

 

Regulus blinked rapidly. 

 

What had he done? What had he done?

 

“You looked…scary,” Marlene whispered as she eyed him carefully. “You weren’t responding. We thought you weren’t feeling well.”

 

Dorcas hummed. “You weren’t even fucking blinking. We thought you were having a stroke or something.”

 

Regulus opened his mouth, then promptly closed it as his eyes flitted briefly to James.

 

James was staring at him. His icy eyes were impossibly wide. His lips twisted at the sides. As though he was ready to cry. 

 

He looked…panicked. Scared.

 

James’ eyes shot down to Regulus’ hand. Then to his eyes. As though he was trying to communicate him something. 

 

As though he wanted to ask him—

 

What did you do, Regulus?

 

What did you do?

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

TEST ONE.

 

A loud voice announced.

 

TEST ONE INITIATED.

 

Regulus and the others immediately raised their hands over their ears to cover them. The voice was so strong that it felt like it could make their eardrums burst at any moment.

 

“What. The fuck,” Evan exlaimed, perplexed. His hands were still firm over his ears. 

 

“Test One?” Marlene said as she furrowed her brows. “What the hell does Test One mean?” 

 

Regulus blinked rapidly.

 

His eyes flitted wildly around the maze; first to the camp, then to the corridors before them, then to the white sky above. He was looking desperately for the source of the voice. As was everyone else. 

 

“Alright, I must admit,” Barty laughed mockingly. He stared up at the sky. “You guys are really surprising me. Like genuinely.” He began clapping his hands. “Good job, good job. Adding voices now? That’s impressive.”

 

“Barty,” Dorcas hissed. 

 

“What? I’m serious,” said Barty. He raised one shoulder. 

 

Dorcas rolled her eyes and glanced at Regulus. “Do you think it’s because of the triangle? Because you touched it?”

 

Regulus swallowed a hard lump in his throat.

 

I don’t know, he wanted to say. To scream.

I didn’t want to touch it.

I don’t know why I did it.

 

“Shit,” Marlene cursed as a frigid rush of wind plunged inside the camp, making them hiss. “Something’s happening, guys. I don’t think we should fuck around,” she said as she rushed toward the weapons near the firepit and took a knife in her hand. 

 

The group broke into full-blown panic after her words. 

 

“Weapons, weapons,” Sirius began screaming wildly as he led everyone. 

 

Regulus should’ve probably done something too. He was a leader, after all. 

 

But he found himself frozen. From confusion? Fright? Guilt? 

 

He had no idea.

 

He felt Barty approaching him earnestly. 

 

Regulus looked up at him. His lips were pressed together, and his jaw was tight. His mocking expression had grown into a more serious one. “You stay close to me. Understood? Whatever happens,” Barty told him firmly. 

 

Regulus gave him a faint nod. His eyes then began searching for James. It was instinct. Or maybe he just felt the urge to find him. 

 

James was staring straight ahead at the corridor beyond the camp. His jaw was trembling. His eyes unblinking. He looked utterly terrified.

 

No weakness. No weakness—Fuck.

 

Regulus stalked closer to him, grabbing his arm and pushing him back. “James,” he urged. “Stay back.”

 

James turned his head to look at him. Regulus noticed that his eyes had turned glassy. He was breathing shakily. “Reg, I—,”

 

Another rush of wind. More violent. More frigid. 

 

So violent that it made the fire in the middle of camp die completely, making the cold bitter against their skin.

 

“What’s going on?!” shrieked Peter.

 

Seconds later, someone appeared in front of them. Suddenly. Out of nowhere. 

 

Something.

 

A—shadow. 

 

It didn’t even look human.

 

Wrapped in ripped, black cloth. No face. No eyes. No nose. The only visible part of it were its grey skeletal hands, creeping out from beneath the dark fabric.

 

It was flying abnormally in the air. As though it was a creature from another dimension; a creature of magic.

 

Impossibly enough, its presence seemed to make the air even colder than it already was. Not only the air; their soul. Like they had just been stripped from every emotion in the world.

 

Only one feeling abided inside of them. 

 

Fear.

 

“Holy shit. We’re so going to die,” Barty gasped. 

 

Regulus’ eyes grew impossibly wide. He heard gasps and cries of terror from behind him. 

 

They were going to die. Like this. Murdered brutally inside a maze, for reasons they didn’t know. 

 

Regulus wanted to laugh hysterically. Regulus wanted to cry in frustration. 

 

“Don’t you dare come closer,” Sirius bellowed as he stepped protectively in front of everyone. Always the leader. Definitely a better one than Regulus. “Do you hear me? We have weapons.”

 

The shadow didn’t respond. Didn’t move.

 

It simply—breathed. Drew long, rattling breaths.

 

It flew in front of them with its head tilted. As though it was studying them carefully. Like a predator studying its prey. 

 

Because that’s what they were. Prey. Ready to sacrifice themselves for reasons unknown to them. 

 

The shadow flew closer.

 

“I said don’t move!” Sirius screamed earnestly, though his voice wavered. He pointed his knife toward it. 

 

The shadow didn’t seem to care. It flew decisively toward them and entered their camp as it raised both skeletal hands in the air. 

 

“Shit! Run! Run! Fucking run away!” bellowed Sirius at everyone as he lunged a knife toward the creature, but it did nothing. The knife pierced through its body like an arrow would with a cloud. 

 

“What the fuck?!” screamed Marlene. “It looks like a fucking ghost!” 

 

Regulus instinctively grabbed James’ wrist and pushed him violently away, making his back hit one of the walls of the maze. 

 

“Stay here,” he ordered before rushing closer to the firepit. 

 

The scene before him was already a nightmare; Mary, Frank, Marlene and Dorcas were throwing every possible thing they could find at the shadow, from plates to hatchets, though it didn’t seem to do anything. Lily stood protectively in front of Pandora, who was grabbing her from behind and begging her to stay back. Remus didn’t have the strength to even stand up, so Sirius was knelt down next to him in case the creature decided to fly toward him.

 

What were they supposed to do? What was Regulus supposed to do?

 

Nothing seemed to work. 

 

Think, Regulus thought.

 

Think. Think. Think. 

 

“Fuck this,” he heard Barty mutter. He turned his head and saw Barty throwing himself toward the dying firepit. He grabbed the only thick branch that was still faintly lit up and began swinging it wildly at the shadow. “Fucking,” a swing, “annoying,” another swing, “fucker.”

 

After the third swing, the tip of the branch managed to graze the creature’s face, making it flinch backwards.

  

"Holy shit!” Lily yelled as she approached the firepit. "Fire! It hates the fire!”

 

Barty laughed maniacally.

 

“Yes, fuck you! You hate this?” he screamed as he kept violently swinging the branch in front of him, trying to hit the creature again. 

 

Its bony hand reached for the branch in Barty’s hand and threw it to the ground. Then, its fingers closed around Barty’s throat at once.

 

Regulus felt his stomach drop to the fucking ground.

 

“BARTY!” he roared. His eyes grew wide with terror.

 

Barty’s body began moving in the air as the creature lifted him from the snowy ground. His face became as pale as a sheet. He began gasping faintly, as though his lungs weren’t getting air anymore.

 

He couldn’t breathe. Barty couldn’t breathe.

 

He was dying. Barty was dying. He was suffocating. 

 

Regulus immediately stormed closer. Without thinking. Because there was no fucking time to think. He grabbed the fallen burning branch and struck with all the strength in his body. 

 

The creature flinched at the contact, and its grip on Barty’s throat loosened, making him fall on the snow. 

 

Regulus saw Evan rush next to him in a mere second.

 

"Barts, are you okay? You’re okay? Tell me you’re okay,” Evan blurted out, voice shaking. 

 

Barty coughed. “Are you hurt?” he rasped.

 

"What? No. I’m fine. I promise you, we’re fine," whispered Evan quickly. 

 

Regulus looked over at them to make sure they weren’t hurt, and then decisively turned his body around, staring straight at the shadow. He felt his eyes darken. His grip on the branch grew tighter. He raised his arm and began swinging the branch like a madman. 

 

"Fire! We need more fire!” he bellowed at the others. His throat was burning for how much he’d been screaming. 

 

“Shit, shit, shit,” he heard Lily hiss. Regulus whirled around to look at her and saw as she grabbed a knife and harshly cut a chunk of her own hair, placing it over the wood. 

 

Using hair as a fire starter? Fucking genius, Regulus thought.

 

An eerie breath hit him right over the neck, making a chill run down his spine. He hesitantly turned his head around.

 

“Fuck me,” he whispered. 

 

The creature had inched closer. Extremely closer. It was towering over him, giving rattled breaths right over his face.

 

“Reg!” he heard Pandora shriek in terror.

 

Regulus flared his nostrils. He raised one arm, ready to attack with the branch again, but before he could, he felt two strong arms wrapping around his waist, pushing him away and making him fall on the ground.

 

He coughed and blinked rapidly. “What the fuck?” 

 

He had landed over someone’s chest.

 

James’ chest.

 

James had pushed him away. Why had James pushed him away? 

 

Their faces were close. Extremely so. Their noses were almost brushing. 

 

Regulus felt his heart press against his chest. 

 

Weakness.

Weakness.

 

“FRANK!”

 

Mary’s utterly gut-wrenching scream brought them back to reality like a harsh slap in the face.

 

They both whipped their heads around and gasped at the sight before them.

 

Frank was up in the air, grabbed by one of the bony hands of the shadow. His eyes were impossibly wide, as was his mouth. It seemed like he was gaping, though no sound was coming out. His body was completely still, and it looked like him and the shadow were simply staring at one another. 

 

What—what was happening? Why wasn’t the creature attacking him?

  

“Guys,” cried Evan. “I—I think it’s sucking something out of him. Shit, I think it’s sucking his soul out.”

 

“What?!” Marlene yelled. “How?!”

 

Frank's eyes rolled backwards. 

 

Regulus felt utterly horrified.

 

James suddenly shifted from beneath him and stood up. He took his burning branch in his hand and aimed it to the creature’s head before making it fly up in the air. 

 

Bingo.

 

The shadow let go of Frank’s neck at once, making him fall flat on the snow. It quickly turned to James, and Regulus’ blood froze inside his veins. 

 

Not again, he thought. 

 

Not again.

 

But instead of attacking, the shadow flew past him, and disappeared in the air as though it never appeared. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

TEST ONE COMPLETED.

 

TEST ONE COMPLETED.

 

They didn’t even have the strength to cover their ears from the sound this time.

 

They stood frozen in the middle of camp. Some were panting, some were crying in shock. Some were simply grasping the fact that they were alive.

 

As soon as the voice announced the end of the test, the cold vanished. The snow began melting beneath their feet. The ice covering the walls of the maze disappeared entirely. The sky, which had been nothing but white moments ago, was now turning blue again. 

 

Mary was the first to unfreeze after the fight, standing up to her feet as she struggled to run toward Frank’s unmoving body. “Frank? Can you hear me? Frank!” she cried desperately as she began shaking him and giving soft slaps over his face.

 

Her hands were trembling wildly. From shock, fear, cold. She couldn’t understand. Or well, she could. She just didn’t care.

 

Because Frank was lying beneath her, pale as marble, with his eyes snapped open. And he wasn’t answering. Wasn’t moving. 

 

He looked like a corpse.

 

“Oh God,” she sobbed. “No no no no.”

 

She felt someone kneeling beside her, though she didn’t turn to see who it was. 

 

“His heart—is beating,” Lily announced. Her fingers were pressed firmly against Frank’s neck.

 

Mary sobbed ever harder. 

 

“Are you sure?” she cried. He looked dead. He absolutely, completely looked dead. 

 

“Let me check,” Sirius said as he drew closer. He took Frank’s wrist and placed his index and middle finger over it. After a couple of seconds, he breathed out and closed his eyes. “Pulse’s there.” 

 

“Why isn’t he responding then?!” Mary screamed. 

 

“I don’t know,” breathed Lily. Her lips were pressed together. As though she was thinking deeply.

 

“What the fuck did that thing do to him?” Marlene hissed as she stormed closer. “Did it actually take his fucking soul out?”

 

“It definitely looks like it,” Peter quavered. Mary turned to glance at him and noticed that he was shaking terribly. 

 

Sirius stood up and began pacing around the camp, as though he wanted to make sure that everyone else was unharmed from the fight. Then he stopped. “What the fuck was that thing? And what—what are these tests? What—what—,” he stuttered. “What the fuck just happened?!” he roared, though his voice cracked at the end. 

 

Mary’s lips curled down. For the first time since she’d met him in the maze, Sirius looked absolutely bewildered and helpless.

 

The worst thing was that none of the others answered him. Because they too, honestly had no idea what had just happened.

Notes:

Dementors in the Underpass - Nicholas Hooper.

Chapter 6: Dementors

Sirius had never felt so useless in his entire life. 

 

Frank was still unconscious.

 

They had genuinely tried everything to wake him; wrapping all the blankets available to warm him, shaking his body, getting him closer to the fire.

 

In desperation, Sirius had even tried giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

 

Nothing had worked. Absolutely nothing.

 

The weird thing was, he didn’t even have a single injury. They checked his entire body. They didn’t find any bruises, or blood. He was just cold, pale. His eyes were still snapped open. As though he was dead. 

 

But he wasn’t. Because for some utterly illogical reason, his heart was still beating. 

 

Some of the others had been in need of medication too. 

 

Barty had a huge black bruise forming around his neck from the shadow’s tight grip. Evan had been helping him with that, putting some of the snow that remained at the borders of the walls on the bruises. Others had small cuts and bruises that weren’t really painful. At least not as painful as the pain they felt every time their eyes flitted briefly to Frank’s unresponsive body.

 

Sirius wasn’t dealing with the situation well. Of course he wasn’t.

 

He kept marching wildy around the firepit with his hands in his hair as he shot his eyes between Frank, the ground and the sky. 

 

He felt like a failure. He was a failure. 

 

His friends had put all their trust in him. They had trusted him wholly from day one. To lead them, to protect them. He had to protect them. He owed it to them. He owed it to Frank.

 

And at the first inconvenience, the first obstacle they had encountered inside the maze—this was how he had repaid them. 

 

How he had repaid Frank.

 

He didn’t even care about the sob that pushed past his lips, making the entire camp turn toward him with stunned eyes. He just felt the need to cry and beg for forgiveness.

 

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he wept. “I—I’ve always played the part of the fucking leader, acting like I’m some fucking tough guy capable of protecting every single person on this fucking camp.” He laughed bitterly. “I can’t even protect myself. How could I have possibly thought that I’d be good enough to be a leader? Frank was right. Remus should’ve been our leader.”

 

He gave a shaky sigh and then bit his lip. “I’m sorry,” he said again. Because he was. And they needed to understand it. “I’m sorry to Frank. To you guys, who have trusted me in vain. I’m also sorry to you,” he said as he glanced at the other group, who was staring at him intently. He locked eyes with Regulus. “And to you too, Regulus.”

 

Regulus’ eyes grew wide. He probably wasn’t expecting it.

 

But Sirius was sorry to him, too. And he wanted him to know. 

 

“I’ve been a fucking dick to you guys. You didn’t deserve that. I apologize,” he whispered as he quickly brushed some tears away from his cheeks. “You have the right to be mad at me. I failed you as a leader. I don’t deserve your respect or pity.” 

 

He let out a long breath after he finished. 

 

There was a long silence after that. 

 

The other group was staring at him with stunned eyes, while his own friends were watching him with their lips curled down, probably saddened by his sudden breakdown. 

 

He didn’t care about appearing this vulnerable in front of them. He had done enough damage already.

 

“Stop feeling like you owe us something,” Remus said coolly after several minutes. “You’re young, like all of us. And you’re brave, yes, but you need to stop taking responsibilities you don’t need to have. Who cares about these stupid fucking roles? What even is a leader?” 

 

“Someone that's supposed to protect you,” he replied firmly as he closed his hands into fists.

 

Remus rolled his eyes. “Bullshit. It’s all bullshit,” he said earnestly as he drew closer to him. “What were you supposed to do? Sacrifice yourself?”

 

Sirius gulped loudly.

 

He should have. He should have done just that.

 

“Yes,” he whispered.

 

Remus laughed mockingly and pointed his finger toward Frank’s body. “And you think he would have wanted that? You think Frank would have wanted you to be the one lying there unconscious?”

 

Maybe, Sirius thought. 

 

He definitely would have preferred it that way. He’d turn back time just to be the one lying there instead of Frank.

 

“We’ll get through this, alright? Together. All thirteen of us,” Remus said more softly. He wrapped his hand around Sirius’ wrist. Sirius calmed himself immediately at the touch. “You’re not alone, Sirius. I promise you. No one is disappointed in you.”

 

Sirius’ lips quirked at the corners. 

 

“You’re a great leader, Sirius,” Marlene said unwaveringly. She approached him cautiously. “I’m sure Frank thinks it too.” She gave him a thin smile.

 

Sirius’ glassy eyes flitted to Frank’s unconscious body. He drew a deep breath in. 

 

“He shouldn’t,” he simply whispered. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus needed some time alone.

 

His body needed it. His mind needed it.

 

He went to his usual spot near the edge of the camp, right where the first corridor of the maze started. He lay down slowly and began gazing at the stars above him. 

 

The sky was weird that day. After being endlessly white during the first part of the day, the sun was there, shining high above him. But oddly enough, the stars were there too. It looked like God had made a mistake that day. Like He had confused and mixed up day and night. 

 

Regulus liked to gaze at the stars when his mind wouldn’t give him peace. He didn’t know why, but he always found some sort of comfort in them. Also, despite not remembering anything about his past, he could still recognize all the constellations visible in a second. Auriga, Gemini, Orion—all of them. As though they were deeply engraved inside his brain. 

 

His favorite, though, was the one he was gazing at the moment. 

 

Canis Major.

 

Not for a specific reason, really. He just loved it the most. 

 

Regulus closed his eyes and took a deep breath in. Then out. And again. In and out. Over and over again. 

 

His fingers twitched uncontrollably. His mind wouldn’t give him peace no matter how hard he tried. Flashes of Barty’s face, of his helpless gasps for air kept replaying relentlessly inside his brain. 

 

He had never felt so scared in his entire life. Or at least, in the life he could remember. 

 

It was easy, showing no emotions. Looking cold, unfazed from everything. Like nothing could ever hurt you, or scare you. 

 

But he cared about Barty, even though it was difficult for him to admit. He cared about Dorcas and Pandora and Evan too. He had grown to care for them, much to his own dismay. Could that be considered a weakness? Definitely. He could’ve gotten killed during his attempt to save Barty. He was aware of that. 

 

Still, there was not one single molecule in his body that told him that he shouldn’t have done it. That he should’ve stayed in his place. 

 

“You look dead,” he heard someone chuckle.

 

Regulus opened his eyes. Barty was standing over him, watching him with a small grin over his lips. 

 

“You wish,” Regulus replied as he slowly sat up. Barty smirked and sat down right next to him, making their shoulders brush slightly. 

 

Regulus didn’t move away this time. As much as he didn’t like being touched by people, just feeling the solid presence of Barty’s body reassured him in ways he couldn’t explain. 

 

There was a long silence.

 

Regulus turned his head and began carefully studying Barty. The circled bruise around his neck was utterly horrific. He didn’t even know how Barty could manage to speak at the moment. 

 

Regulus swallowed a hard lump in his throat.

 

“You really scared the shit out of me earlier,” he blurted out as he glanced up to Barty’s blue eyes. They were different from James’. James’ eyes were blue like a glacier, like a clear summer sky. Barty’s eyes were darker; like twilight, like a storm. 

 

Regulus didn’t know which one he liked more. 

 

Barty pressed his lips together as though he was trying to hide a smile. But his eyes smiled for him, scrunching up faintly. 

 

“Shit, Reg,” he whispered. “You’re getting softer on me. Are you sure you’re not going to confess that you love me soon enough?” He laughed, but then coughed, probably for the pain in his throat. 

  

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, I don’t,” he said, though he smiled softly.

 

“Mm,” Barty hummed. He turned his body slightly around, facing him. He began staring intently at Regulus’ face, making him obviously uncomfortable. 

 

Regulus frowned. “What?”

 

Barty gulped loudly. His Adam apple moved up and down as he did. “You have a cut,” he murmured. 

 

“Oh,” Regulus whispered, startled. “Where?”

 

Barty didn’t answer. He breathed shakily and then slowly lifted his hand. His thumb grazed gently against Regulus’ cheekbone, while with his other fingers he tugged one of Regulus’ curls behind his ear. 

 

Regulus stopped breathing at once.

 

What—what was happening? 

 

Barty’s thumb kept moving over his cheek softly, and the more he did, the more Regulus felt the urge to scream. To push him away. Violently. 

 

It didn’t feel like his usual dislike for human touch. This simply felt—wrong. Completely and utterly wrong. 

 

As though his mind had begun screaming at him that this touch didn’t belong to him. That Barty’s fingers weren’t meant to be touching him like that. 

 

“Don’t ever try to save me again,” Barty whispered after several moments as he withdrew his hand from Regulus’ cheek. Then he stood and walked away, like nothing had ever happened. 

 

Regulus sat there, completely frozen for what he felt were hours. His heart was pulsing wildly against his ribcage, while his mind kept howling the same word over and over again.

 

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. 

 

The touch of Barty’s skin against his. His fingers on his hair. 

 

They were wrong.

 

He shook his head and immediately stood up from the ground. His star-gazing moment was completely forgotten.

 

As soon as he turned his body toward the camp, he noticed two icy eyes watching him carefully from the firepit. They appeared darker than usual. As though the blue had been painted and mixed with black. 

 

The eyes weren’t the only thing that seemed dark over James’ face as he stared at him. His expression too. It was darkening more and more with every passing second of their eyes meeting. 

 

Regulus suddenly felt uncomfortable.

 

Not because of his eyes this time. Because of himself.

 

Because he felt like he had just been caught doing something that he shouldn’t have been doing. 

 

Guilty. That was the right word. 

 

Regulus felt guilty. 

 

For what? He had done nothing. Nothing had happened. Nothing that had an importance or a meaning. 

 

Still, as James looked at him, that was the only thing Regulus could feel at the moment. 

 

“That’s impossible.”

 

Evan’s voice was loud enough to cut through the unrelenting thoughts inside Regulus’ mind. Regulus quickly turned, and saw as Evan was standing a few feet away from the others, right in front of one of the walls of the maze. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Sirius asked with furrowed brows. 

 

“The triangle,” sputtered Evan, looking absolutely bewildered. “It’s gone.”

 

Regulus felt his eyes grow wide automatically. 

 

“What?!” Mary bellowed as she stalked toward the wall. “Holy shit. It’s really gone.”

 

Everyone promptly dashed forward. Regulus too.

 

The red painting they’d seen before the test—and in the days prior—had in fact changed. The triangle was indeed gone, completely disappeared as though someone had suddenly washed it off. The only thing remaining was a circle divided into half by the straight line in the middle. 

 

“How the fuck is that even possible?” Dorcas asked as she gaped. 

 

“Did someone fucking wash it off?” asked Barty.

 

“Don’t be stupid,” Pandora whispered as she elbowed him softly. 

 

“It disappeared after we completed the test,” Remus announced after several seconds. His lips were pursed in concentration. “Could that mean something?”

 

“Of course!” Lily exclaimed. Her green eyes glistened with realization. “Three red symbols. A triangle, a line and a circle. We do one test, and one disappears. The symbols could represent the tests.” She shook her head and laughed faintly. “Those fuckers are cleverer than we thought.” 

 

Regulus pressed his lips together in thought.

 

Could that be true? Could that random red drawing be the key to understanding how to get out of that torment of a maze?

 

“It’s an interesting theory,” he said coolly. He raised one shoulder. “Could be.”

 

“Or could be not,” countered Dorcas.

 

Sirius clicked his tongue. “It’s the only real theory we’ve come up with in a month. Progress is progress.”

 

“Does that mean we’ll have to face…two other of those things?” Peter whispered as he trembled like a feather. 

 

“We don’t know,” replied Mary. She threw her arms up in the air. “Shit—are we sure? Can’t this just be, I don’t know, a coincidence?”

 

Regulus felt his jaw clenching at once at the question. He promptly turned his head toward her and spoke. 

 

“I don’t believe in coincidences.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

After they finished with the medications, they decided to eat. They hadn’t eaten since the evening before, skipping breakfast for the cold and lunch for the fight. 

 

They prepared some warm bread and water, nothing too special. No one had the strength to cook anything, honestly.

 

As the others ate in silence, Evan sat down earnestly on the border of camp, right where one of the walls was. He kept gathering some more snow that still hadn’t completely melted from before, as the bruise on Barty’s neck seemed to darken more every time he glanced at it. 

 

Evan wanted it to vanish. Be gone. He wanted to forget that horrific twenty seconds forever and never have a single proof that they ever happened. 

 

“Evan, I said I’m fine,” he heard Barty mutter from behind him. “Put that fucking snow down.” 

 

Evan made a disapproving noise with his mouth.

 

“No,” he said hardly. 

 

Barty sighed and knelt down next to him. “Evan.”

 

Evan’s hands halted and he promptly snapped his head toward him, keeping his stare high to Barty’s face. He couldn’t look at his neck. He simply couldn’t. He felt like bursting into tears every time he did. 

 

“I want to help you,” he murmured as he fluttered his eyes closed. “Let me help you.” His voice was low, pleading. Begging.

 

A small smile crept over Barty’s lips. “You’ve helped me enough already.” He slowly stood up and placed his arms on his hips in a convincing way. “See? The snow worked. I’m as healthy as a fish.” He winked, making Evan laugh faintly. 

 

He could never live without him, Evan realized. He could never imagine a life where Barty’s idiotic behavior and annoying laugh weren’t present every single day. 

 

“Promise me that it doesn’t hurt anymore,” Evan said softly while staring at him. “Promise me, Barts.”

 

Barty looked down toward him. His blue eyes softened slightly. “It just hurts a bit. I promise,” he answered, his voice rough as the injury made it difficult to speak. “I had a great nurse to fix me up,” he continued with a smile.

 

Evan felt his cheeks heating up at once and quickly looked away, focusing his eyes on the snow beneath his hands. 

  

“I think we should go check the door later,” Lily announced loudly, making him turn his body around toward the firepit. 

 

Sirius furrowed his brows after swallowing down a piece of bread. “And why is that?”

 

“Because if the triangle disappeared on the wall, then maybe the same thing happened to the one painted on the door,” said Lily as though it was obvious. 

 

Evan pursed his lips. 

 

Much to his own displeasure, the other group seemed definitely more into theories and ideas than his own. Lily and Remus especially seemed to have a brain of another planet. He’d still stand by the fact that Regulus was the cleverest of them all, though. Nothing could ever change that.

 

“And if it’s actually gone, then what?” he inquired as he finally stood, leaving the snow behind. 

 

“The door doesn’t have a visible lock, right?” Remus said. He bit his lip and then continued. “But maybe this is it. The symbol. Three symbols. Three tests. If we complete all three and all three symbols disappear from the door too, maybe it will actually open.”

 

Lily hummed and nodded earnestly. “It makes so much fucking sense.”

 

Evan bit the inside of his cheek. It did, to be honest. It made so much sense it actually pissed him off slightly that the others were the ones who had figured it out.

 

Sirius exhaled deeply and then stood. “Alright. We need to start heading now if we want to come back before evening,” he said as he took a knife from the weapon side of the firepit. 

 

“Let me finish my fucking bread first,” Mary lamented as she took an entire piece in her mouth.

 

“I’ll stay back here as you all go,” declared Remus as he knelt down next to Frank. “I’ll check on him. Also, I still don’t feel totally fine after—you know.”

 

Evan gazed at him throughly for the first time since the test. Remus’ skin was still paler than the others, and his body was still shaking faintly. He definitely needed some more time to recover. 

 

“I’ll stay too,” Pandora said as she bit off a piece of bread. “I’m a good medic. If Frank wakes up, I think I’ll know what to do.” 

 

A loud cough pushed past Barty’s lips, making the entire camp jolt suddenly. “Sorry,” Barty rasped as he still coughed. After he calmed down, he spoke again. “I agree. Pandora’s a good medic.”

 

Evan closed his teeth together. 

 

Barty was so fucking stubborn. In an unhealthy, frustrating way most of the time. 

 

“Barty’s staying too,” he said earnestly without sparing him a glance. 

 

“I’m sorry?” Barty replied, almost yelling. “No the fuck I’m not.” 

 

“You keep coughing like a madman,” Dorcas pointed out as she quirked one brow. “You need to fucking rest, Barty.” 

 

“Jesus, I’m fine! Look, I’m fine—,”

 

“The bruise on your neck says otherwise,” Evan snapped. He locked eyes with Barty, hoping to transmit to him all the worry he was feeling at the moment. “Please. Just stay here and rest. And stop fucking screaming or your throat will fucking fail you.” 

 

Barty crossed his arms against his chest. He seemed properly offended. He stared at Evan’s face for some more moments before his eyes flitted to Regulus. 

 

Worry. It was transparent on Barty’s face as he gazed intently at Regulus. 

 

He wanted to come for him. Barty wanted to make sure that he was safe. That nothing happened to him.

 

Something he’d never do for Evan. Or at least, not in the same visceral way. 

 

Marlene clapped her hands loudly. “Alright, off we go!” she said as she began walking toward the first corridor after camp. 

 

Everyone promptly followed her, with Evan right behind them. He turned his head around toward camp one last time and noticed that Regulus was still back there with Barty.

 

“Be careful, yeah?” Barty murmured to Regulus. His hand caressed his arm for just a moment.

 

Regulus gave him a clipped smile and then began walking.

 

Evan snapped his head around. As though he had seen something he shouldn’t have. He fluttered his eyes closed and drew a deep breath in. He wished he had a phone in the maze. Or internet. Just so that he could open a tab and search:

 

How do I get rid of my crush for my best friend?

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

James hadn’t looked at him once for exactly three hours. 

 

Not that Regulus had been counting them, to be clear. 

 

It was simply—an assumption. A random calculation of time in his head, since they didn’t have anything to track it inside the maze. 

 

He wasn’t bothered by it, mind you. He didn’t care that James had decided to stay at the front of the group, leading them with Sirius’ map to the door. He didn’t care that he never once peeked over his shoulder to spare his usual glances at Regulus. He didn’t care that their blue eyes hadn’t met in hours, and that the last time they did James seemed utterly furious with him. 

 

Regulus obviously didn’t care. 

 

He was just—confused. Frustrated, some might even say. 

 

It was only normal, considering James’ eyes always seemed to find their way toward him no matter the circumstances. Not today, apparently. 

 

“Why do you look like you’re about to commit a murder?” he heard Sirius whisper right by his ear. 

 

Regulus flinched, startled, making Sirius chuckle lightly. “The only murder I want to commit right now is yours,” he said with narrowed eyes. 

 

Sirius laughed even louder. “Figured,” he said, tilting his head. After a moment, his expression shifted into something slightly serious. 

 

“How are you doing? After the fight?” Sirius asked him with a faint smile.

 

Regulus arched one brow. “You’re the one that broke down crying in the middle of camp,” he pointed out. 

 

“Right,” Sirius laughed, embarrassed. He rubbed the back of his neck, which was reddening quickly. “I’m fine now. I guess I was a bit shocked after Frank—you know,” he said with a low voice. 

 

Regulus just hummed. 

 

He could understand him. Not fully, thankfully. Not one of his friends had been brutally attacked like Frank had. Barty had been close, and he genuinely had no idea how he would've reacted if something like that had happened to him. 

 

“Also,” Sirius continued. “Well—Remus—when I saw Remus—,” he stuttered and closed his eyes. “I can’t lose him. I can’t,” he said, maybe more to himself than to Regulus.

 

Regulus had been the first to notice. How deeply Sirius actually cared about Remus. It wasn’t surprising, his reaction. What was surprising, was that Sirius was opening up about it with Regulus of all people. 

 

Weird. 

 

Appearing weak to what was supposed to be your biggest ‘enemy’. It felt utterly bizarre. 

 

Were they even enemies? Regulus had no idea what that word meant anymore.

 

“You really do care a lot about him,” Regulus murmured.

 

“I care so much sometimes it scares me.”

 

Regulus gave him a short nod. He wondered if he too could ever feel like that for someone. He wasn’t really sure. 

 

“Like you care about Barty,” Sirius said after a pause. His lips arched at the corner, forming a mischievous grin. 

 

Regulus scoffed. “Trust me, it’s not the same thing.”

 

It wasn’t. Absolutely, one hundred percent, it wasn’t like that.

 

“I saw you two earlier,” Sirius chuckled as he bumped his shoulder with Regulus’. 

 

Regulus gave him a threatening glare and narrowed his eyes. “Nothing happened earlier.”

 

“Right,” Sirius snickered.

 

They kept walking close to one another in silence. Their arms sometimes brushed, but strangely, none of them flinched or moved away. Regulus stealed quick glances at the back of James’ head, who was still walking at the front without turning back once.

 

Regulus could feel the frustration increasing inside of him with every passing second. 

 

“You scared me too, you know,” Sirius said after several minutes. 

 

Regulus turned his head toward him with furrowed brows. 

 

Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep breath in. As though he was trying to force the words out of his mouth. “When you—when you ran at that thing. I just, I got scared. Don’t get me wrong, I would’ve for anyone. But, you know. Be careful next time—yeah,” Sirius blurted out. He was fidgeting with his hands, and he seemed slightly—flustered. 

 

Regulus blinked. 

 

Now, this he definitely didn’t expect from Sirius. He’d felt stunned by him apologizing after the test, but he just assumed it was due to the aftershock of what happened with Frank.

 

This—this felt different. Deliberate. Rational. 

 

Regulus didn’t know how to take it.

 

He gave him a short nod and quickly looked away. He genuinely had no idea what to say. 

 

“Alright, enough with the deadly silence,” Evan bellowed after clapping his hands. “I was thinking—should we give a name to that thing?”

 

“That thing?” Mary asked with an arched brow. 

 

“The skeleton monster that sucked Frank’s soul out of him?” said Evan as though it was obvious. 

 

“Why the hell would we give it a name?” Dorcas sighed, utterly exasperated. 

 

“Because we’re pros at that now!” Evan said excitedly. “Bambi was a fucking genius nickname.” 

 

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Jesus, Evan.”

 

“You shut up. You’re no fun anyway,” said Evan as he pointed an accusing finger toward him, which made Regulus roll his eyes even harder. 

 

“Can’t we just call it ‘the monster’?” Peter murmured in a practically nonexistent voice. 

 

“You’re also no fun. My God, you’re all so fucking boring. I wish Barty was here. He would’ve come up with ten different names already,” said Evan as he glanced at everyone. His lips were slightly curled down at the corners, Regulus noticed. 

 

He probably missed Barty already, despite trying to play it cool. 

 

“Fuck off Evan,” Dorcas said as she flipped him off, making Evan giggle loudly. 

 

Regulus shook his head. A small grin tugged at his lips. 

 

“Dementors,” James said out of nowhere. Everyone’s attention snapped to him at once. It was the first time he spoke after they left camp. 

 

“What?” Sirius asked, frowning. 

 

James finally turned around and looked at them. Not at Regulus, though. He glanced at every single one of the others, but not him. Regulus felt his teeth grit together automatically. 

 

“Dementors,” James said again unwaveringly. “It comes from the Latin word demens. It means insane. Or, like…mad, wild.”

 

Sirius raised his brows and laughed, clearly impressed.

 

“My God. Seems like Moons and Regulus are about to have a new competition for the most clever title.”

 

“Who the fuck even studies Latin?” Marlene asked bewildered. 

 

James raised one shoulder and looked at her. “Me, clearly.”

 

His blue eyes flicked one last time to the group and then he promptly turned and kept walking without sparing a single glance at Regulus. 

 

Regulus closed his hands into fists at his sides. 

 

He was getting angry. Because James wasn’t looking at him.

 

A week ago he was angry and uncomfortable because James kept watching him from afar, from near, from everywhere. And now, the exact opposite thing was happening. 

 

Crazy how just a couple of days could change everything. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

They arrived at the door shortly after. 

 

As soon as they took a quick look at it from afar, they realized that Lily and Remus had, in fact, been right. What had been just a theory hours ago, had now turned into a certainty.

 

The triangle symbol was completely missing from the door, leaving only a red circle divided into two by a vertical line, exactly like the wall.

 

“Holy shit Lily,” Sirius exclaimed, patting her on the back. “You’re a fucking genius.” He took a quick glance at Regulus and smiled. “Take this, Regulus. We clearly have the cleverest people in our group.”

 

Dorcas snorted. “Regulus counts for seven of you.”

 

“Does he now?” Marlene chuckled right by Dorcas’ ear, making her jolt in surprise. 

 

“I assure you he does,” answered Dorcas as coolly as possible, though Regulus noticed a faint pink blush forming over her cheeks.

 

Regulus rolled his eyes. He drew slightly closer to the door as he eyed the red markings intently. 

 

Two more tests. Two more tests and maybe they’d be free. Finally. He genuinely couldn’t believe it.

 

They had never been so close to home. Home. Did they even know what home was anymore?

 

“The only real question is,” Mary said, crossing her arms against her chest. “Will the door actually open when all the symbols disappear?”

 

“Yes,” James said firmly.

 

Regulus whirled his head around and noticed how James was standing still right behind them, not coming near the wall or studying the red symbols. He had his arms wrapped against his chest with a bored expression. As though he was impatient to return to camp.

 

“I mean, it can only mean that. Like Remus and Lily said—they’re connected. Now we have proof of that. Good job,” finished James.

 

“Why do you sound bothered?” Peter asked him with a pout. 

 

For a brief, imperceptible moment, James’ eyes met Regulus’ before quickly flitting away. Regulus stilled at once, his heart beginning to pound involuntarily. 

 

Look at me, he screamed in his head.

 

Why won’t you look at me?

 

“I have a headache. I want to go back,” James said after several seconds, raising one shoulder. 

 

“Yeah, I want to head back too,” Lily replied as she began walking away from the door. “I want to check on Frank as soon as possible. Make sure his heart is still beating properly.”

 

“I’m sure the others are taking good care of him.” Peter smiled gently as he caressed her arm.

 

Lily hummed and smiled back. “I know. I just—want to go back.” 

 

Slowly, they started heading toward their camp. Sirius was leading the way this time, as James refused because of his apparent headache. The sun was setting above them, so they all decided to be quick to make sure they’d be back before the maze got swallowed by the dark of the night. 

 

“We need to get ready for the other two tests,” said Evan after several minutes. “We can’t let what happened to Frank happen again.”

 

Mary raised her knife and began twisting it between her fingers. “Oh, it won’t,” she laughed. “Those ugly fuckers are done now that we know that they’re scared of the fire.”

 

Sirius chortled loudly. He glanced up to one of the cameras in the walls and sent a flying kiss. “We’ll make a fucking firepit with Dementors’ burnt bones. Test two, let’s go!”

 

Everyone giggled, and for a mere second, it seemed like they weren’t teens trapped inside a maze that had tried to kill them just hours before. 

 

Only two people remained utterly silent, with their heads almost exploding from the amount of thoughts that were whirling inside it. 

 

The ones with the blue eyes. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Frustration. 

 

Consuming, eating, devouring every bit of his very being. 

 

Regulus wanted to scream. To yell. To pull at his hair so hard until his scalp bled. 

 

Why the fuck was James still not looking at him? It had been almost an entire fucking day. 

 

Had he done something wrong? 

 

During the walk back to camp, he had been replaying in his mind every single moment before they began heading toward the door, and still—nothing came up to him. Absolutely nothing. The only minor moment he could think of was when him and Barty—

 

But that wasn’t possible. One, because nothing had happened. Two, because—why would James even care about that?

 

He wasn’t even thinking about how unjustified his frustration was. There was no rational explanation for it. He was aware of that.

 

Regulus hated being watched so intensely, so carefully. He hated being the center of attention, in any circumstances. 

 

And still, for some utterly, unexplainable reason, he wanted James to look at him.

 

One time. One.

 

It wasn’t asking for much, right? A quick glance. A peek over his shoulder. A brief glimpse of his blue eyes. Anything. 

 

He was so fucking close to kneeling down and just—beg for it. 

 

And he probably would’ve, if they hadn’t almost arrived at camp. They could already see the faint light of the firepit and the outlines of what he assumed were Pandora, Remus and Barty. 

 

Regulus released a frustrated breath through his nose and began darting earnestly toward James. 

 

He wasn’t going to humiliate himself in front of the entire fucking camp. He had to solve this here and now. 

 

He harshly grabbed James’ shirt from behind and pulled him back, making him halt and groan in frustration. “Okay,” Regulus badgered. “Tell me what the fuck your problem is. Now.” 

 

James watched him with a blank expression. “I have a headache.”

 

Oh, fuck him. He was always fucking lying. Regulus couldn’t stand him. 

 

“Right,” Regulus laughed out loud, mockingly. “And does the headache prevent you from looking at me? You literally haven’t spared me a look today. One. Definitely not something usual for you.” 

 

“Oh, trust me, I’ve seen enough,” James sneered.

 

Regulus flinched. His brows narrowed. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

 

It was James’ turn to laugh now. “You seriously don’t get it?”

 

“No?” Regulus had never felt so puzzled in his entire life. “Did I do something?”

 

“Did you—,” James scowled. He pressed his lips together. “No, Regulus. You didn’t do anything.”

 

Another lie. Another fucking lie right in front of his face. Regulus was tired of being played like an fool. 

 

“Why the fuck do you keep lying?” Regulus asked, his voice raising automatically. The others could probably hear them by now, but he couldn’t have cared less. 

 

James recoiled, as though Regulus had just hit him straight in the chest. He didn’t reply. Just stayed silent, staring at him with his blue wide eyes. 

 

“Tell me,” Regulus ordered, stepping forward. 

 

He was tired of not having any answers. Of asking and asking and never receiving a clear response. About the dreams, about the maze, about his life. 

 

“Fucking—just—tell me,” he gritted through his teeth. He could feel the rage simmer inside him.

 

James swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple moving up and down. Still, he didn’t answer. Didn’t say a single word. 

 

And Regulus was boiling with anger at this point. He drew a deep breath and words simply—began pouring out from his mouth. 

 

“From the moment we found you in the maze, every single thing started going wrong,” Regulus fumed right over his face. “The symbols appear the day you get here, then the cold, then the tests and now fucking—Frank. Everything happened after you got here. We were doing fine before, and then you just—arrived and—ruined everything.”

 

James’ eyes grew even wider, something Regulus thought was impossible. His face grew pale, but that didn’t stop Regulus.

 

Nothing could.

 

All the feelings he’d been struggling with these past few days—unknown and unfamiliar feelings—like uneasiness, obsession, warmth, were pouring out from his mouth in one, single, huge breakdown. 

 

“I’m so fucking—angry at you, and I don’t even know if it’s fair, because you haven’t done anything wrong. But ever since I looked at you that first day I—,” he released a shaky breath. His hands were shaking too. Maybe his entire body. He wasn’t paying attention.

 

His mind had begun begging him to stop.

 

Stop talking. Stop exposing himself.

 

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t. 

 

“You know my fucking name before you know your own, and then I start crying because you say the name of a fucking song,” Regulus laughed maniacally. He grabbed his dark curls and removed them from his eyes. “I’m going crazy. I’m absolutely, one hundred percent going insane. Because why the fuck whenever I look at your eyes—I feel—weird. Like I want to drown in them but at the same time, I feel like I already did?”

 

James’ jaw had begun twitching uncontrollably. He gnawed at his bottom lip repeatedly, turning it a crimson shade. 

 

For a second, Regulus thought he might even start crying. 

 

“Tell me, James,” Regulus whispered after several seconds, drawing closer. “Why, whenever I look at your eyes I feel like I’ve already spent my entire life watching them?”

 

It took Regulus a whole minute to regain touch with reality. To understand what he had just done. 

 

Everything he had tried to bury these past days, every single emotion he had been enduring, every single weakness he had been trying to hide—completely exposed in seconds.

 

Weak, his mind echoed. Never stopping reminding him.

 

Weak.

 

Maybe he wasn’t just someone with weaknesses. Maybe he was simply a weak man himself. A weak, weak, embarrassing man. He wanted to crawl into his own skin from embarrassment. 

 

He promptly stepped back from James as if burnt by fire. James stood frozen in front of him. His mouth opened and closed in pure shock, as though he was utterly speechless. 

 

He was probably thinking that Regulus had gone completely mad. Which was totally understandable, since he was thinking that himself. 

 

Should he—apologize? Fix it? Retract everything?

 

How could he even fix what he’d just done?

 

He took a deep breath in. “James, I—

 

He didn’t get to finish the sentence. He didn’t even get to start it. 

 

A scream ripped through the silence of the maze, making the both of them jolt in surprise. 

 

They whirled their heads toward the firepit, and noticed how the camp had completely erupted into chaos, with people rushing and screaming frantically. 

 

Something was happening. Something extremely wrong was happening.

 

Him and James shared a quick glance before they began speeding toward camp as fast as possible. 

 

The scene that welcomed them as soon as they arrived was utterly horrific.

 

Frank was awake, lying on the ground. But he didn’t appear fine. The opposite, actually. 

 

His body was shaking and convulsing as he spitted wildly in the air, almost forming a white foam with his mouth. His eyes were still snapped open, but they’d changed; they’d turned completely black, as did his veins.

 

But most of all, he was screaming. Loudly. Painfully.

 

He looked like an animal with rabies.

 

Barty was above him as he tried to hold him down with all the strength in his body. “I don’t know what the fuck is happening to him!” he yelled. “He woke up like this! We thought he was fine, but then he started screaming and became fucking—violent.”

 

“Frank? Frank! Can you hear me?” Sirius yelled as he stalked closer, holding him down by the head to help Barty out.

 

“He—he—,” Peter breathed out. “He looks possessed.”

 

Regulus widened his eyes at the words, as gasps of terror echoed through the camp.

 

“Shit—fuck!” Mary screamed as she stared at the sky. “What do we do? Tell us what to do, you absolute bastards!”

 

As soon as the last word left her mouth, James pushed past him, and stalked intently toward the firepit, his eyes dark with determination.

 

Before Regulus could figure out what his intention was, James promptly took a burning branch in his hand and pressed it hard to the skin of Frank’s arm. 

 

Frank screamed so loud the veins on his neck seemed like they were about to burst from his flesh. The skin of his arms immediately grew a vivid shade of red. 

 

“What are you doing?!” raged Lily as she shoved James away from Frank, making him fall on the ground. 

 

“Are you insane?!” Evan bellowed with horrified eyes. 

 

“Don’t you fucking get it?!” James said as he quickly stood up. His eyes were flashing. “Fire. It worked with the Dementor. It’s always the fire.”

 

Something clicked in Regulus’ mind.

 

Of course.

 

The fire had been their only useful weapon with the shadow during the attack. It was obvious that there was a connection.

 

How had he not thought about it himself? 

 

Frank stopped screaming just seconds later. His body stilled, and his black veins retreated. His eyes remained wide open, but the usual bright green that distinguished them had finally returned.

 

He had become normal again.

 

As normal as looking like a living corpse meant. 

 

Barty finally flopped down to the ground with a loud thud, drawing away from Frank’s body. The bruise around his neck appeared darker than before, Regulus noticed. 

 

“I need a fucking drink,” Barty breathed out, his eyes wide in utter disbelief. 

Notes:

War of Hearts - Ruelle.

Chapter 7: The Phoenix

Lily had never been fond of violence. 

 

On the contrary, she had always considered it a foolish thing. Something useless.

 

What was the purpose of voluntarily conflicting pain to others? It wasn’t rewarding. There was nothing to gain from it.

 

She’d always believed in the concept of energy instead; if you brought good to the world, you’d receive positive energy in return. It was something that made complete sense to her. A concept so easy to understand, but so hard to follow, apparently. 

 

Healing—that was what she loved doing. 

 

Helping people. Whether it was mentally or physically, though she felt more experienced in the latter. 

 

She was certain she was destined for it. 

 

That was, until this very moment. 

 

Until the burning branch made contact with Frank’s arm. Until the air filled itself with the smell of his burnt skin.

 

Until she fully comprehended what James had actually done. 

 

The rage she felt blooming through her was like nothing she’d ever felt before. 

 

“What the fuck is your problem?!” she snarled as she harshly pushed James from his chest, making him falter back. “You fucking—” a push, “piece of shit—” another violent push. As violent as she possibly could, until he almost fell on the stone ground again. 

 

“Lils,” she heard Remus call, but she didn’t turn. 

 

She kept her raging eyes fixed on James. 

 

She wanted to hurt him.

 

It was a sudden realization. Something unexpected. 

 

But she did. 

 

She wanted to grab the same branch and hurt him exactly like he had done with Frank. She wanted to press it so hard against his skin until she smelled his blistered flesh in the air too.

 

“I did what I had to!” James said with a firm voice, grabbing her arms to stop her frantic movements. His jaw twitched uncontrollably as he looked at her. “Can’t you see? His eyes. His veins. They’re back to normal. He’s back to normal, Lily.”

 

“I don’t fucking care!” she spat over his face, freeing herself from his grip. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. “You—you hurt him, James! Didn’t you hear his fucking scream?!”

 

“He was transforming!” James suddenly yelled, his screams echoing through the stillness of the night, silencing the entire camp in a mere second. 

 

Lily flinched and promptly stepped back. She felt as though she was the one being burnt by fire now. 

 

What—what? 

 

“What do—what do you mean?” Peter whispered after several moments, voice barely above a breath. 

 

There was a chilling silence.

 

James dragged a hand through his dark curls and drew a long breath in, suddenly hesitating to speak. His eyes dropped down to the ground before he spoke. 

 

“As we walked back from the door, I started thinking about what the Dementor could’ve truly done to Frank. I couldn’t really—figure it out at first. There was something missing,” he finally said. He gnawed at his lower lip before he continued, “then I saw his eyes. His veins. The way he was moving. I don’t know if an actual transformation was happening, but some sort of—infection? Definitely. I thought about the fire from the test and, well.” He tilted his chin toward Frank’s now-limp body. “Clearly, it worked.”

 

Everyone’s stare promptly turned toward Frank’ still form.

 

Lily swallowed hard as she did, head turning slowly. 

 

She felt as though air stopped reaching her lungs as she looked at her friend, body lying almost lifelessly on the ground. She couldn’t find the strength to deny or argue against James’ theory.

 

Much to her own dismay, it was an extremely plausible theory; it did look like Frank had been infected by something. Like an external entity had taken hold of his body, completely hiding his real being. 

 

“You think that’s what Dementors do?” Remus asked James, brows knitted together. “They—infect you?”

 

James hummed. “Yes,” he whispered, raising one shoulder. “It’s highly possible.”

 

“Does that mean that Frank’s going to turn into one of those things?” Sirius asked with a shaky voice.

 

Lily snapped her head around at once. 

 

She needed them to stop talking. Stop assuming things. Right now. 

 

“We don’t know that, Sirius,” she said coldly. Probably colder than she intended, but she didn’t care. As long as they stopped saying that Frank’s destiny was turning into a monster at any moment. 

 

She could feel her entire body starting to tremble. She didn’t know if it was for the rage she still felt cursing inside of her, or the fright of her friend’s situation. 

 

“He’s fine now,” Pandora whispered as she approached her. Pandora gave her a thin, reassuring smile, her thin pink lips almost disappearing as she did.

 

Lily couldn’t find the strength to smile back. 

 

She couldn’t even remember how to smile. When was the last time she had. She wondered if she’d ever be able to do it again.

 

“Well,” Barty said after several moments, eyes wide in bewilderment. “If something like this happens again—at least we’ll know what to do.”

 

“What are you talking about?” hissed Mary through her teeth. 

 

Barty’s eyes flitted to the fire in the middle of camp for a mere second, before quickly flicking away. 

 

Lily felt her eyes darken at once.

 

“You’re not fucking burning him again,” she said coolly. Her hands closed into fists at her sides, nails digging in her palms. 

 

Barty grimaced. “I’m sorry—did you not see what the fuck just happened?” 

 

“I did, and I don’t care,” she replied, drawing closer to him in a threatening way.

 

She felt the sudden urge to hurt him too. To hurt all of them. Every single person that wanted to hurt Frank. They deserved nothing but pain. 

 

“Calm down, redhead,” Evan sneered, quickly stepping in front of Barty. “He’s right.”

 

I don’t care, she wanted to scream.

 

To yell. To roar. 

 

“You’re not burning my friend again.” 

 

She forced herself to sound unwavering. 

 

“Well,” Regulus said as he edged closer to his group, shielding Barty with his body. Lily nearly laughed at his face; leaders and their stupid fucking urge to protect people. He looked exactly like Sirius. “If he transforms into a Dementor, it’s the only possibility we have.”

 

Deep down, Lily knew they were right. She knew they were being reasonable. 

 

And perhaps that was what upset her the most. 

 

The fact that she wasn’t lucid anymore. That she wasn’t thinking properly with her brain; something that had never happened to her before. 

 

“Alright, wait a second,” said Barty as he raised his hands in the air. “What the fuck is a Dementor?”

 

“Yeah,” Remus agreed, drawing closer with his arms crossed. “When did you guys decide to give a name to that thing?”

 

“I came up with it. Thought it was fitting. End of story. Nothing special,” James deadpanned, raising one shoulder. 

 

“I like it!” Pandora exclaimed, beaming.

 

Lily stared at her in astonishment. She wished she had her ability to switch on and off her emotions like she would with light.

 

Barty scoffed. “I don’t.”

 

“When do you ever like anything?” sighed Evan as he rolled his eyes. 

 

“I’m just saying, you could’ve asked us too before giving it a fucking stupid name.” Barty clicked his tongue. “Is there anything else you need to share with us?”

 

There was a pause. 

 

Right, Lily thought. 

 

They still hadn’t spoken about one of the most essential things they’d discovered; the door. 

 

“Well…now that you ask,” said Sirius, eying Barty, Pandora and Remus. 

 

The three of them watched him back with intent and curious eyes. 

 

Sirius sighed, dragging one hand down his face. “The triangle’s gone,” he said finally. 

 

Barty blinked. “What?”

 

“The triangle,” Sirius repeated. “The one on the door. It’s gone.”

 

“It’s gone like…gone?” asked Remus with eyes wide open. 

 

Evan hummed. “Vanished. Same as the ones around the maze. There’s only the circle and the line painted now.” 

 

Pandora pursed her lips. “And the door? Did it look any different?”

 

Peter shook his head. “Still locked.”

 

Barty let out a frustrated noise, running a hand through his hair. “So we were right; two more tests. I suppose that means two more of those bony Devils are coming to get us?”

 

“There’s a high chance.” Marlene shrugged. “But, I mean. Now we know how to handle them. What they’re scared of. Shouldn’t be that difficult.” 

 

It was the only thread of hope they had at the moment. The only thing that stopped Lily from completely losing her mind. 

 

The fact that there was a real possibility of them getting out of the maze. 

 

They had a chance. A real one, this time. 

 

She’d do anything to escape. If it meant forcing her brain to stay fresh and healthy despite the horrors she was enduring, then so be it. 

 

Remus groaned and dropped a hand over his eyes. “I’m so sorry to interrupt this conversation, but I really do think we should try and rest for a couple of hours.” 

 

A loud yawn pushed past Mary’s lips. “Shit. I didn’t realize how fucking tired I actually was.”

 

“Alright, alright.” Sirius clapped his hands. “Everyone—it’s been a long day. Let’s try and sleep.” He threw a quick glance at Frank before speaking again. “We’ll check on him the entire night. In the meantime—let’s rest.”

 

There was nothing else to say after that.

 

They were tired. Exhausted. 

 

That day had definitely been the worst of their lives; the lives they could recall. From waking up and almost freezing to death, to the test, and now—Frank.

 

Everything had simply been too much to sustain. 

 

They set up turns for the night to check on Frank. 

 

Lily decided to take the first one without hesitation, while the others let exhaustion get the best of them. Her mind was so flooded with thoughts and emotions that she knew she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep anyway. Besides, she really just wanted to keep checking on Frank. 

 

Heal him. Save him from his impending fate, if possible. 

 

As the others fell asleep around her, she thought thoroughly about every possible way to help him. She checked frantically over the small first aid kit she’d woken with that very first day in the maze; ice, white cloth, bandages, gauze rolls, rubbing alcohol. 

 

She found nothing. 

 

Nothing useful. Nothing that could truly help him.

 

She cursed under her breath and threw the kit away, hiding her face on her knees. 

 

Useless. It was all useless.

 

She was useless.

 

She didn’t know what to do. She always knew what to do. Why couldn’t she now? Now that it was essential? That her friend’s life was likely hanging on by a thread?

 

Useless. And hopeless.

 

Useless and hopeless.

 

“Hello,” said a small voice behind her, making her jolt slightly. 

 

She raised her head from her knees and looked up.

 

Pandora was standing in front of her, staring at her with a small pout. She was completely swallowed up by a blanket, only her head peeking out from it, golden hair falling over her face. 

 

Lily felt herself soften at the sight. 

 

“Hi,” she said back, making space for Pandora to sit.

 

Pandora wavered for a moment, and then flopped down next to her, knees touching ever so slightly. Lily could still smell that same familiar sweet scent emanating from her. It was starting to feel oddly…comforting, in a way. 

 

Her scent. Her voice. Her presence. 

 

Her.

 

“Today has been…something,” Pandora whispered after several seconds. 

 

Lil huffed a short, bitter laugh. “Right.”

 

There was a long silence. 

 

Not awkward. Soothing, in a way. 

 

Needed. 

 

The fire cackled before them, faintly easing the stillness around them.

 

“You’re a force of nature, you know that?” Pandora said after several minutes.

 

Lily turned her head and watched her. “What?”

 

“You’re a force of nature, Lily,” Pandora repeated. Her voice was soft but firm at the same time, as though she was certain of what she was saying. 

 

Lily swallowed a hard lump that had formed in her throat. It suddenly became harder to speak. “Trust me, I’m not,” she breathed out. 

 

Useless. Useless. 

 

Hopeless. Hopeless. 

 

“But you are,” Pandora insisted. “You always look so strong. Ready to help everyone. It’s beautiful to watch, truly. The way you take care of people. The way you help them. I wish I could be like you.”

 

Lily wasn’t sure if it was for the horrible day she just had, or if she was dying of worry because something was happening to her friend that she couldn’t understand, but she suddenly broke down in tears. 

 

She pressed the palms of her hands on her eyes, hiding them, as she felt them starting to wetten. “Shit, sorry. That’s embarrassing.” She gave a wet laugh. 

 

Pandora gently grabbed her wrist. “It’s not embarrassing. I’m the one who should be apologizing for making you cry.” 

 

Tears began slipping from Lily’s eyes uncontrollably. 

 

“It’s just that—Frank is laying there—and I’m supposed to help him, you know? Because that’s what people expect me to do. That’s what I expect myself to do.” Her voice caught between sobs. “But I don’t. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help him and I feel so, so fucking useless.”

 

She didn’t know why she was opening up with Pandora specifically about her struggles. She usually did that with Remus, as he had a sensibility most people wouldn’t. 

 

But now, being here, and pouring out all of her feelings and insecurities with Pandora—

 

It felt right. 

 

Which seemed foolish, because they weren’t even that close. But it did.

 

It felt right. So right it nearly scared her. 

 

Pandora shook her head sharply, the grip on her wrist tightening. “Don’t say that. Ever again. You’re not useless. You could never be useless.”

 

Lily dragged her hands down her face, blinking rapidly against the burning in her eyes. “I feel like my mind is in a really dark place right now,” she admitted. 

 

The corners of Pandora’s lips curled downward. She turned and slipped her hand from Lily’s wrist to her palm, intertwining their fingers together. 

 

It was a simple gesture. Something so innocent, yet so powerful. Lily’s heart pounded loudly in her ears as she watched their hands clasped together. 

 

She felt as though she had just learnt how to breathe again. 

 

Both her lungs and her mind. 

 

As if they’d just started functioning again.

 

“I’ll keep you company tonight,” Pandora said after several minutes, hand never leaving hers. “Is that alright?”

 

Lily gave her a smile. A faint one, but a smile nonetheless. “Yeah,” she whispered. “That’s alright.”

 

Perhaps she did remember how to smile, after all. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Fire.

 

Hot.

 

Burning his skin. Suffocating him.

 

Smoke pervaded his lungs. 

 

He was dying. He could feel it.

 

“Regulus, remember.”

 

A voice. Different. Unfamiliar. Cold.

 

“The Phoenix is good.”

 

Words that made no sense.

 

“The Phoenix is good, Regulus.”

 

Fire. Smoke. 

 

“Remember. Remember. Remember—

 

 

 

Regulus was getting tired of waking up like this. Of waking up in the middle of the night, completely drenched in sweat, shaking, and with the sound of his heart beating wildly in his ears.

 

He was tired.

 

The maze had already become a nightmare itself over the past few days, so the least he expected was to have one peaceful night's sleep.

 

One.

 

It was the bare minimum.

 

Clearly, his mind didn’t agree with that. 

 

He grabbed a cup from the cooking area and poured himself some water; his throat felt particularly dry that night. As he drank, he glanced around the firepit and noticed that, unlike him, everyone else was sleeping soundly—some even snoring.

 

Lucky them, he thought as he took one last sip of water.

 

One person, however, was not sleeping. 

 

And of course—of course—that one person had to be the only one Regulus never wanted to see again in his life.

 

James was sitting on the opposite side of the firepit, watching him intently with his usual gleaming eyes. His brows were faintly knitted together. As though he were trying to unravel something.

 

Someone. 

 

Regulus instantly felt exposed, a rush of shivers skimming against his skin.

 

He closed his fists, feeling the urge to yell at James that he was supposed to check on Frank. That he wasn't supposed to look at him. Not anymore. Not after what had happened. Not after he—

 

Regulus swallowed the words and remained silent, tearing his eyes away from James. He didn’t even have the courage to look at him, if he was honest.

 

Embarrassing. Him and every single thing that had come out of his mouth.

 

He wanted to curl into a ball and disappear, leaving no trace of his existence. 

 

He heard James sigh loudly. From the corner of his eye, he noticed that James had given up and stopped looking at him, fixing his eyes on Pandora and Lily's sleeping bodies. Regulus felt instantly relieved. He felt as though he had gone back to their earlier days; when he couldn't hold James' gaze for more than five seconds before he began feeling utterly uncomfortable. 

 

“At least some of us are finding the good in this shithole," James said after several minutes, making him whirl his head around. 

 

A faint smile tugged at the corners of James' lips as he watched Lily and Pandora, fingers intertwined even in their sleep. 

 

Regulus bit the inside of his cheek, remaining silent. Again. 

 

He had to go back to sleep. Now. Before James said anything further. Before he started asking questions. Because Regulus knew it was coming. A confrontation. 

 

And he wasn’t ready. 

 

He hadn’t had enough time to prepare—anything. Excuses. A totally made-up speech that would somehow help him erase every single thing that had poured out of his foolish mouth. 

 

He almost felt the urge to laugh at himself. He had spent an entire month with a simple goal in mind—appearing cold and unfazed, as though emotions could never reach him. And what had he done to prove that?

 

He gave a touching declaration about eyes to someone he’d known for merely five days.

 

Regulus genuinely wanted to throw up every time he so much as thought about it. 

 

The worst thing? He knew he’d meant every single word he’d said. Every. Single. Word. 

 

“About our conversation from earlier,” James started, breaking the awful silence.  

 

Regulus felt the muscle of his jaw twitch. 

 

Fuck, he cursed inside his head.

 

“Forget it, James,” he murmured, fixing his eyes on Lily and Pandora’s sleeping bodies. Never moving. Never wavering. He made sure of that. “I didn’t mean anything that I said.”

 

It scared him how much of a liar he had become.

 

There was a short pause.

 

“I don’t believe you,” James then replied, voice cold like ice.

 

Regulus scoffed. “I honestly don’t care what you believe in, James.” 

 

“And I still don’t believe you, Regulus.” 

 

Regulus closed his eyes and drew a deep breath in. 

 

Why was he so fucking stubborn? He couldn't stand him. Just like Sirius. They were always prying. Always trying to wring a confession out of him. Making him utterly confused and disoriented. He couldn't stand them.

 

“The thing about my eyes,” James continued, voice hard. “I know you feel it, because I feel it too. I know them. Your eyes. I remember them, as I did with your name. And you do too—and it’s okay. It's okay, Regulus. As we’ve already established, there might be a connection between us.” He stopped for a moment. Perhaps a sign of nervousness. “But don’t tell me that you didn’t mean it, because I simply—don’t believe you. Your eyes—that’s what I believe in, not your words."

 

Regulus felt as though his heart had just burst out of his chest, leaving a gaping hole. He snapped his eyes open, meeting James’.

 

Blue against blue.

Ice against ice.

 

Over and over again. 

 

He could stare at them forever. It wouldn’t be surprising finding out that in the past it was his favorite thing to do. It would make so much sense, much to his own dismay. As much sense as all of this utterly inexplicable situation would. 

 

“Say I’m wrong,” James whispered, eyes still intent on his. “Look at me in the eyes and tell me you feel nothing when you look at them. Now. Tell me, Regulus.” 

 

This was it. 

 

The way to fix it. To retract it all. 

 

It was his only chance. 

 

Do it, screamed his mind.

 

Say it. 

 

And he was about to. Regulus could swear that he was about to deny every single word that had come out of his mouth just hours ago. 

 

He opened his mouth to do just that. But promptly, he closed it again. 

 

Because the more he stared at James—the more those words came rushing back to him at once. 

 

How could he deny it? How could he deny the feeling of knowing those eyes when they seemed the most familiar thing he’d ever seen since he woke up here a month ago?

 

How. How. How. 

 

Perhaps he wasn't that great of a liar as he thought.

 

Time passed. Regulus still didn’t utter a single word.

 

Weak. Weak. Weak.

 

James gave him a faint smile. 

 

He didn’t say anything. Just smiled.

 

Regulus pressed his lips together and hugged himself, as shame clung to him like wet tentacles. 

 

He’d come to realize that the more time he spent with James, the weaker he became. 

 

He honestly wished he’d never followed his screams of help that sunny morning a week ago.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Apparently, their moments were always destined to end like this.

 

Frank began screaming again; the same painful, agonizing scream that had left his mouth hours ago, but ten times louder. 

 

Regulus was afraid his ears would burst from how piercing it was. 

 

He promptly shot up from the ground as the others around them jolted awake in panic, trying to quickly register what was going on. 

 

“What the hell?!” Barty bellowed, agitated, struggling to stand in the haze of tiredness and confusion. 

 

Mary whirled her head from one side to the other, eyes snapped open. “What? What? What’s going on?!”

 

Regulus didn’t pause to explain. He darted with purpose toward Frank, wanting to help rather than stand frozen in astonishment like he had hours ago.

 

He felt himself pale as soon as he reached him. 

 

There was no trace of Frank left in the body before him; no trace of humanity. Frank’s eyes had turned black as carbon again, and so had his veins. He spasmed on the ground like an animal, screaming and spitting in the air as a white foam formed at the corners of his mouth.

 

“Jesus Christ,” Regulus breathed out, staring in utter horror at the scene. 

 

“No no no no,” he heard Sirius cry from behind him as he quickly pushed past him, knocking their shoulders harshly. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Make it stop! We—we need to make it stop!”

 

James promptly rushed toward the firepit, snatching a burning branch from the flames, eyes dark with certainty. 

 

Regulus swiftly grabbed his arm; they still hadn’t come to a conclusion on whether or not this was the proper way to proceed. “Wait, James—”

 

He didn’t even get to finish.

 

Something violent slammed into his back, knocking him face-first to the ground. His forehead brutally hit the stone beneath him on impact, a lightning bolt of pain shooting through his skull at once. 

 

For a moment, his vision turned black. He wondered if he’d suddenly gone blind.

 

Then his vision came back, and he wished it hadn’t. 

 

Frank was over him, pinning him down with such force there was no possible way for Regulus to break free from his hold. 

 

The others shrieked in panic around them. From the corner of his eye, he saw blurry figures rushing in, desperately trying to get Frank off of him. But their attempts were in vain; Frank’s strength didn’t seem human anymore.

 

“It’s your fault!” Frank suddenly screamed, white foam falling right over Regulus’ forehead, wetting it.

 

Regulus widened his eyes in horrified stun. 

 

His body froze at the words. He wasn’t even trying to get Frank off him anymore, body limp like a corpse. 

 

He could hear Barty crying his name in anguish, but he wasn’t really paying attention to anything. His mind was fully focused on one thing. 

 

Not how to escape. Not the blood he could feel streaming down his face from his forehead. 

 

Frank’s voice. 

 

Screaming. Yelling things. Right to his face. Without intention to stop.

 

It was the only thing his brain allowed him to register. 

 

“You did this! You did all of this!” Frank spat on him. 

 

Regulus opened his mouth to speak, but he found himself voiceless, throat too parched to make any sound. 

 

“I saw you. I saw you!”

 

“Why are you here?! You did this!”

 

Suddenly, Frank’s hands wrapped around Regulus’ throat, squeezing hard with abnormal force. 

 

His airways were blocked at once. Not only could he not breathe anymore, but he felt as though his head was about to explode from how tight the grip was. He drew his hands over Frank’s, trying to helplessly move them away. 

 

They didn’t. They didn’t move. Not even an inch. 

 

This is it, Regulus thought. 

 

This is how I die.

 

And what a horrible way to die it was. 

 

Frank’s grip tightened. And tightened. And tightened—

 

And then it was gone.

 

Air abruptly flooded his lungs. He choked, coughing violently as he tried to inhale again.

 

Barty fell on his knees beside him in a mere second, patting his body with shaky hands. Regulus wasn’t sure if he was checking for injuries or simply making sure that he was alive. “Shit! Fuck—are you all right, Reg? Can you breathe?”

 

Regulus didn’t answer. His eyes locked onto the scene before him as he kept giving violent coughs, slowly managing to steady his breathing.

 

Sirius and James were pinning Frank down, both holding burning branches—both looking absolutely fucking feral. James’ nostrils flared as he pressed Frank’s throat to the ground. Sirius had thrown his entire weight over him, shouting something Regulus couldn’t make out; his ears were buzzing, perhaps from the hit in the head. 

 

Barty’s hands were still on him—an uncomfortable thing, though he didn’t have the strength to say. He could hear someone crying from beside him, probably Pandora. Someone else was pressing something to his forehead to stop the bleeding. 

 

He could still feel the metallic liquid on his face, as it streamed through his nose into his mouth. He assumed that he must’ve cut his forehead deeply when he fell. 

 

His mind still couldn’t comprehend most of the things that were happening around him, the same words echoing endlessly inside it. 

 

I saw you.

I saw you.

It’s your fault.

 

Frank screamed again.

 

“Why isn’t the fire working anymore?!”

 

Regulus couldn’t make out who said that.

 

I saw you.

I saw you.

You did this.

 

Another scream.

 

I saw you.

I saw you.

 

James and Sirius were thrown backward.

 

The fire died.

 

Darkness completely swallowed the camp.

 

Frank stopped trashing on the ground. He stood frighteningly slowly, body trembling, black veins now spreading all over his entire body; his arms, his neck, his face. 

 

They were everywhere. 

 

Peter shrieked in panic, “he’s—he’s transforming!”

 

“Shit,” Marlene screamed. “The fucking fire! Light it again!”

 

Their cries were muffled in Regulus’ ears. He barely heard them, voices dissolving into the background as he kept staring at Frank.

 

Because Frank—

 

Frank was changing.

 

Not just his veins. Not just his eyes.

 

His entire face.

 

His nose disappeared entirely, mouth and eyes too, leaving a black gaping hole instead. 

 

His neck cracked. His bones became visible, skin shredding and clothes tearing away, quickly replaced by a weird black, ripped, piece of black cloth. Skeletal hands crept out of it; black, long nails looking as revolting as ever. 

 

He looked exactly like the shadow that had attacked them during the test. 

 

James was right. His theory was right. 

 

These creatures—they do infect you. 

 

They do transform you into one of their own. 

 

And it was exactly what had occurred to Frank. 

 

A Dementor. 

 

Frank had just turned into a Dementor.

 

“Light the fire!” James roared, grip firm on his now unlit branch as he stared at the newly born Dementor. “Now!”

 

“We’re trying!” cried Lily from behind them. “We can’t see anything—”

 

The temperature dropped out of nowhere, a rush of chilling wind hitting Regulus straight in the face.

 

He couldn’t find the strength to stand up, no matter how much he willed himself to. His face was now completely covered in blood; he could taste it, thick and metallic on his tongue. 

 

It was the only thing his senses could perceive. 

 

If it weren’t for the others, he was certain he’d be dead by now.

 

“Frank?” Sirius whispered, cautiously approaching the shadow with a courage Regulus could never find within himself. “Frank, it’s me. It’s Sirius. Can you hear me?”

 

But that wasn’t Frank anymore.

 

It was a Dementor.

 

And just like last time, it raised both skeletal hands and flew threateningly toward them. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Frank went straight for Marlene.

 

Out of nowhere. For no apparent reason.

 

He flew toward her with unwavering determination, skeletal hands raised in the air, and before anyone could stop him or understand his true intentions, his rotten black nails dug deep into the flesh of her arm. 

 

The scream that left Marlene’s mouth was like nothing Regulus had ever heard. She collapsed to the ground, pressing the fresh wound with one hand as she kept howling in pain. 

 

“Shit—Marls!” Sirius yelled, dropping on his knees beside her. “Are you—?”

 

“I’m fine,” she gasped, though she evidently wasn’t. Regulus couldn’t see her properly in the darkness, but he could still hear the sound of her teeth clattering wildly, as though she were freezing. “Don’t worry, I’m—”

 

The gust of cold air suddenly moved, and so did Frank. 

 

He didn’t give them the time to do anything; relight the fire, check on each other, run. Nothing. 

 

They were suffocating from his presence alone.

 

This time, much to his own dismay, Frank turned his attention back to Regulus. 

 

Regulus, who was still on the ground, head pulsing and vision half-blurred by blood. His senses had come back slightly after the hit, but he definitely wasn’t in the right conditions to fight a fucking murderous creature from another dimension. 

 

“FIRE!” he heard James shout, one of his hands grabbing Regulus’ arm firmly as he dragged his body backward, as far from the Dementor as possible. “Now, Lily!”

 

“Trying!” yelled Lily in a clear panicked tone. Regulus wondered if she could truly manage to light it. It seemed nearly impossible with the darkness surrounding them; he could barely discern what was occurring around him.

 

“Hurry up!” Remus called.

 

“Please!” Peter cried.

 

Frank didn’t seem to care about any of them, or their desperate pleadings. His focus remained still and unfaltering on Regulus. Despite Regulus’ sight being compromised, he could still faintly decipher the Dementors’—Frank’s—movements, and his eagerness to reach him. To hurt him.

 

Or kill him, Regulus thought, seeing he’d already attempted to. 

 

“Guys!” James shouted as he stepped in front of him, shielding his entire body. He swung his branch uncontrollably in front of the shadow, trying to push it further away.

 

Regulus wondered why James was so intent on protecting him. First during the test, and now too.

 

No matter how much he tried to hide it—it had become obvious that James and he kept circling around one another, seemingly attracted by gravity or something else Regulus couldn’t fully comprehend. 

 

He was beginning to feel more desperate than confused. Desperate for answers. 

 

Answers that never seemed to find their way to him, infuriatingly so. 

 

The smell of burning wood suddenly filled the air, making him snap his head toward the firepit.

 

“Yes! Yes!” Mary laughed in relief, and Barty laughed with her, though his laugh sounded more maniacal than relieved.

 

The firepit roared back to life, flames dancing high in the air as the familiar scent of smoke reached Regulus’ nostrils. The Dementor immediately flinched back, appearing truly frightened. 

 

A rush of relief washed over Regulus at once. He nearly laughed in disbelief. It’d take him a while to grasp the fact that he had survived that night.

 

The others around him didn’t waste a second. Mary, Evan, Lily and Dorcas lunged for the firepit, grabbing burning branches and swinging them frantically at the creature, backing it up from the middle of their camp to its borders.

 

James didn’t move, oddly so. Didn’t try to help them. He never left his side. Not even for a moment. He stood proudly above him, branch in hand, flashing eyes never leaving the Dementor, following its movements and making sure he wouldn’t get close to them. 

 

Regulus was tempted to ask him why, but it very clearly wasn’t the right moment to do so.

 

“GO!” screamed Lily out of nowhere, her face streaked with tears, twisted in utter devastation as she pushed Frank far away from the camp with a branch. “Leave!”

 

The Dementor watched her for a moment. A single moment longer.

 

Then it disappeared, morphing into the night with the darkness of the maze.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The aftermath of the fight was even worse than the fight itself.

 

Marlene lay on the ground, shaking violently, her skin pale as snow, her lips turning from pink to blue.

 

Regulus was half-passed out from the amount of blood he had lost from his forehead.

 

The others didn’t even know where to start.

 

Dorcas was the first to snap out of it.

 

She dropped to her knees beside Marlene, her hands shaking as she reached for her, fingers pressing against her wound with force.

 

“You’re okay,” she said shaking. “You’re okay—you’re fine, yeah?”

 

Marlene was clearly having difficulty breathing.

 

“C-cold,” she finally managed to say. “So—f-fuck—”

 

“We need to warm her up!” Lily gasped, moving Marlene as close to the fire as possible. “Pandora, the blanket—”

 

Pandora was already fumbling with the blankets on the ground, getting as many as she could. “Here here, this should be enough—“

 

She froze. 

 

Her eyes landed on the scratch that Frank had left in her arm. 

 

A black, dark liquid was spilling from the wound. Her veins were turning black too. Just like Frank.

 

“Oh my God,” Dorcas whispered. 

 

She looked terrified.

 

“It’s not the same,” Lily said quickly. Too quickly. “She’s—she’s not like Frank. It’s not—”

 

“We don’t know that!” Dorcas snapped, her voice high and sharp with panic. “We don’t fucking know what just happened to him!”

 

No.

 

No, no, no—

 

This was not happening. They had just lost Frank. They weren’t going to lose Marlene that quickly. Not now. Not ever. They were going to find a solution. They were.

 

On the other side of the camp, the boys were taking care of Regulus. Or at least, they were trying to.

 

Fortunately, or not, Regulus had regained enough consciousness to return himself.

 

”I said I’m fine, Evan,” Regulus huffed annoyed as Evan put the tenth damp cloth on his forehead in the past five minutes. “I don’t need a fucking nurse.”

 

”Well,” Sirius started. “He’s back at being a dick. At least we know he’s actually fine.”

 

Regulus glared at him and stopped Evan’s hand that was working on his forehead.

 

“Will you stop being a fucking baby and let us help you?” Barty said. His voice was hard, but the worry in his eyes was way bigger. 

 

“I’m not a fucking ba—“ Regulus was cut off by James finally stepping forward. He looked almost.. scary. 

 

He took the damp cloth from Evan’s hands and started cleaning the blood from Regulus’s face. 

 

No permission.

 

No question.

 

Regulus was too stunned to speak. To argue.  

 

He didn’t flinch, didn’t move his head away. He just let James do his job. James’s hands were different from Evan’s. His touch was different. 

 

Evan’s was hurried, franatic. Worried.

 

James’s was gentle, careful. Familiar.

 

“All done,” James said as he finished, putting the cloth away. Regulus expected him to leave, but instead, he gently took a strand of hair from his face and tucked it behind Regulus’s ear.

 

Just like Barty did the day before. 

 

But this definitely did not feel wrong like the day before. 

 

“How?” Remus suddenly said, interrupting the moment. “How the fuck did that—?”

 

“That wasn’t Frank.”

 

Sirius’ voice was hard, firm.

 

”I know that,” Remus continued. “But why is Marlene like that? He just scratched her. No soul-sucking happened. Right?”

 

Peter let out a shaky breath. “Maybe you get—infected like this too and maybe—“ His voice hitched on the last word, breaking slightly. “And maybe she’ll do to us what Frank—“

 

“Stop it, Pete,” Sirius snapped. “It won’t happen. We’ll find out how to stop the infection and help her. Understood?”

 

Peter nodded, though he wasn’t really sure they could actually do it. 

 

Was there even a way to stop the infection?

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

I saw you. I saw you. You did this.

 

Regulus’ head wasn’t bleeding anymore, but he could still feel it pulsing rapidly.

 

I saw you. I saw you. It’s your fault.

 

He raised one hand over his forehead and fluttered his eyes closed, trying to somewhat ease the pain. 

 

The others around him were gathered around Marlene; muffled voices that were desperately trying to find a way to stop the sickness that was thriving inside her body. 

 

I saw you. I saw you.

 

He was fine. He was going to be.

 

It’s your fault.

 

A sharp rush of pain hit his head at once, like a lightning strike through a tree. He gritted his teeth with all the strength he had, suppressing a moan of pain that wanted to force its way out of his mouth.

 

”Reg.”

 

A voice. Real. Not in his head.

 

Regulus finally opened his eyes and looked in front of him. 

 

Barty was there. He crouched down next to him, close. They were in the same spot as the day before, right at the edge of the camp. 

 

Regulus scanned his face. It was helpful—looking at Barty. It grounded him to reality. His gaze went to the purple bruises around Barty’s neck. He wondered if they’d ever go away.

 

His gaze then moved to Barty’s eyes. 

 

They were full of worry.

 

Regulus hated it.

 

“I’m fine, Barty.”

 

Was he? Was he actually fine?

 

And not for the hit in the head. But for the things that his head was hearing. For the words that wouldn’t leave his mind alone. For the voices that wouldn’t leave him alone. 

 

A sharp exhale. Then the sound of fingers raking through hair.

 

Barty was still looking at him.

 

Regulus wondered what he was thinking.

 

He let his eyes drop to the ground.

 

Barty gave a deep breath. “Listen,” he said. “I know you, alright? I know you. And I know what’s going on inside that little brain of yours.” He pushed himself slightly closer and licked his lips. “Frank  was like—possessed. He was saying random shit. Don’t—don’t think about it.”

 

Regulus’s fingers curled into fists against his knees. Random.

 

His jaw clenched. “He didn’t sound random.”

 

“He wasn’t Frank anymore.”

 

Regulus swallowed hard. 

 

He knew Barty was right. Logically, he knew.

 

But knowing and feeling were two very different things.

 

Regulus exhaled. He turned his gaze from Barty’s face to the night sky above them. The Canis Major was especially bright that night. He took one hand to his heart as he scanned the stars upward. 

 

One breath. Then another. Then another.

 

“Reg.”

 

Barty wasn’t touching him anymore, wasn’t shoving at his shoulder or pressing into his space, but—he was still there.

 

“Tell me you’re fine,” Barty murmured. “The truth. Or I won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

 

Regulus exhaled slowly. He removed his hand from his heart and turned to look at him.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

Barty didn’t look convinced. He never did. 

 

Regulus turned his attention to the dark corridor in front of them. Right in the middle of it, was a small dot of blue. It was standing out, since the entire maze was swallowed up by darkness. 

 

Regulus blinked. He moved a bit closer to try and figure out what it was.

 

A butterfly.

 

A blue butterfly.

 

He didn’t even know they existed. Or maybe he did know, and he just couldn’t remember.

 

The blue on its wings was mesmerizing. Like something you’d see on a rare documentary film.

 

Regulus wasn’t even sure that it was real.

 

He stood.

 

He didn’t even think about it. He just wanted to follow the butterfly. Get closer.

 

He took a step forward, then another, his body moving before his mind could catch up.

 

The butterfly flitted ahead, slow enough that he could keep pace.

 

Follow me.

Follow me, Regulus.

 

And he was. He was.

 

He didn’t even notice how far he had stepped away until—

 

“Reg, where the fuck are you going?”

 

Regulus froze.

 

He turned his head just enough to see Barty still crouched at the edge of the camp, looking at him confused.

 

He was a bit far. Regulus had walked at least one hundred centimeters without even realizing it.

 

“Did you see that? ” he asked Barty.

 

“See what?”

 

Regulus turned back toward the butterfly—

 

But it wasn’t there anymore.

 

Gone. Vanished in the darkness of the maze.

 

Had he just imagined it? Had the hit on the head just messed up his brain completely?

 

“It was—,” he stopped himself. “ Never mind.”

 

Regulus went back toward the camp and sat down next to Barty again. His brows furrowed. 

 

Why on earth was he hearing voices in his head again? Should he talk about it with someone? Should he be worried?

 

He supposed he probably should.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus couldn’t sleep. 

 

He wasn’t even trying to, to be honest. He was scared of what his injured head might make him dream that night. Voices were already filling up his mind, his head was still pulsing. He didn’t want to make it worse.

 

The others were all around the firepit asleep. Sirius, Lily and Dorcas were curled up around Marlene, who was fortunately sleeping. Regulus could see her body shaking from afar. The light of the moon made her look even more pale than she already was.

 

They had spent an entire hour trying to understand how to help her. Unfortunately, all theories came back to the same conclusion: fire. 

 

They wouldn’t hesitate this time. Everyone promised. As soon as they’d hear a scream, they’d strike with the fire. It was inevitable. It was the only thing that worked. And if burning her as fast as possible meant saving her, then so be it. 

 

Regulus exhaled, exhausted. His eyes instinctively went to James beside him. Regulus looked at his eyelashes. They were so long.

 

Unfair.

 

He moved his eyes down, scanning his entire body. The muscles beneath his shirt, his biceps, his hands—

 

Regulus’s breath stopped.

 

There, resting gently over James’s hand, was a butterfly.

 

The butterfly.

 

It was the same one as before. Small. Delicate. Its blue wings shimmered like ice, the light of the moon making it even more beautiful than before. 

 

It was walking around James’s hand delicately.

 

Regulus’s breath caught in his throat.

 

He raised one hand to gently hold it, but as soon as he did, the butterfly flew away toward the first corridor after the camp.

 

Regulus stood. His legs moved. 

 

Follow me.

Follow me, Regulus.

 

The voice. The voice that had been tormenting his dreams for a month. He wanted to know to whom it belonged. He deserved to know.

 

Follow me.

Follow me.

 

I am. I am.

Where are you? I need to find you. 

 

The butterfly moved again. Deeper into the maze. Where light didn’t exist during the night.

 

Follow me. 

Follow me.

 

And Regulus did.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The maze was eerily silent.

 

At least, that’s what Regulus assumed. Because no sounds from the outside were reaching his ears. Not the usual rustling of leaves on the ground of the maze, not the wind that always accompanied the nights inside it. 

 

Nothing but the voice inside his head.

 

It kept talking to him, giving him directions on where to go—which way to turn, which corridors to pass through.

 

Follow me. Follow me. Follow me.

 

His eyes didn’t move for a single second from the butterfly in front of him. He wasn’t thinking about anything else. He was so concentrated that he had completely forgotten about the ache in his head just minutes ago.

 

He just kept on walking. And walking.

 

The butterfly didn’t stop either. Sometimes it would slow down a bit and turn, just to see if Regulus was still following. 

 

And he was. 

 

Regulus had completely lost track of time. He didn’t know how long he had been walking. He didn’t care. The only important thing was to get to him.

 

The voices changed.

 

Here.

Here. 

 

The butterfly stopped. 

 

Regulus too.

 

He looked in front of him. 

 

And there, right before him, was a door. 

 

A massive stone door. Not like the one they’d found the other day. It didn’t feel threatening like that one. One the contrary, this one felt almost…welcoming. 

 

The rune with the triangle, the circle and the line was missing in this door. Instead, right at its center, was a massive phoenix. Its wings outstretched in an elegant, sweeping arc. Every feather was intricately detailed. 

 

Regulus swallowed. His heart pounded against his ribs.

 

The Phoenix is good.

 

The voice from his nightmare that night came straight into his mind.

 

Was that a hint? Were his nightmares actually just trying to help him?

 

Open the door, Regulus.

Open it.

 

The voice came back into his mind.

 

His eyes found the butterfly again. 

 

It was resting on top of the phoenix’s head, watching him. 

 

Open it.

Open it. 

 

Regulus wanted to. He really, really wanted to. He didn’t know that voice. Or at least, didn’t know whom it belonged to. But maybe that very person was standing right behind it. Maybe he needed help. Maybe it could help him. 

 

Or maybe it was simply an exit. Maybe the door with the rune didn’t mean anything. Maybe the runes, the tests, were just sick games of the people who had put them there , and this was their actual way out. 

 

Open it now, Regulus. 

 

No. He should get the others first. They were all going out together. That had been the plan from the start.

 

We find an exit and we get out. 

 

Regulus took a step back from the door and turned toward the corridors of the maze, ready to retrace his steps to camp, but—

 

Where—

 

Where had he come from?

 

His pulse spiked.

 

“No, no, no, no—”

 

The realization hit him all at once. His eyes were darting like crazy from one corridor to another, trying to understand if he could recognize where he was. But the maze was dark at night, obviously. He couldn’t see. He couldn’t understand where he was.

 

He had been so focused on listening to the voice, so focused on following the butterfly that he didn’t even think about getting the petals. Or a map, at least. 

 

“Fuck! FUCK!” he yelled, his voice mixing with the rustling sound of leaves.

 

He took one hand to his heart, trying to calm it. He looked at the constellation above him. His heart steadied a bit. But the situation was still the same.

 

The others had no idea where he was.

 

He had no way of getting back.

Notes:

Happiness is a Butterfly - Lana Del Rey.

Chapter 8: The Chamber Of Secrets

Notes:

TW; Mild depictions of panic attacks.

The moon was especially bright that night. 

 

That was the first thing Evan noticed as he stirred.

 

It was usual for him, waking up in the middle of the night. He’d wake up, get some water, and then sleep again as if nothing had happened. So, like always, he yawned loudly before sitting up. He reached for the first cup he could find near the fire and slowly began drinking. 

 

After he was done, he turned his head, looking at the spot right beside him. His lips raised at the corners automatically. Barty was curled into a ball, mouth slightly parted and hair a complete mess as he slept peacefully next to him.

 

Evan bit his lip and gave a defeated sigh. Sometimes he wondered how it was possible for someone to look like Barty did. Effortlessly gorgeous, even during the night. Perfect, he’d even dare to say. He couldn’t find a single flaw in the piece of art that was his face, seemingly carved from polished marble.

 

Evan didn’t know what gorgeous really meant, being trapped inside a maze with the same people for over a month. But if he had to choose one example for it, he’d definitely choose Barty.

 

He shook his head, willing himself to wake up. His ploy to get rid of his crush for his best friend wasn’t going as planned, clearly. He should’ve expected it. It had been naive of him to think he could accomplish it so easily when he spent the entirety of his day within Barty’s presence. He didn’t have the proper mental strength to do that.

 

He forced himself to look away, moving his gaze toward the spot next to Barty instead. His brows knitted together as soon as he did. 

 

Oddly enough, the spot—was empty.

 

He was certain Regulus had been the one to have fallen asleep there. He’d seen him right before he’d thrown himself beneath his blanket and closed his eyes, surrendering to exhaustion. 

 

Evan sat up slightly straighter, quickly glancing around the entirety of camp, eyes moving frantically. Everyone was there. Everyone was sleeping in their previous night spots. Nothing had changed. 

 

Nothing, but Regulus’ presence. 

 

A wave of uneasiness arose inside Evan’s body. 

 

Regulus wasn’t there. He wasn’t at camp, sleeping peacefully. He wasn’t at camp, thrashing around for his nightmares. It was night, and dark, and he wasn’t there. It was cold and dangerous, and he wasn’t there. Frank had just transformed into a petrifying creature that could be roaming right around the dark edges of their tiny home, and Regulus—still wasn’t there. 

 

“Guys—shit,” he yelled, standing up to his feet abruptly. “Wake up, wake up!” 

 

The camp promptly jolted awake, branches and weapons ready in hands. He couldn’t blame them. No one felt safe anymore inside the hell that the maze had become. 

 

“What is it? What’s going on?” Sirius bellowed, eyes fluttering open as he automatically began swinging a branch in the air, almost hitting Mary in the process.

 

Evan began pacing around camp, glancing at the horrified stares before him as he tried to control his panicked breathing to speak. “It’s—it’s Regulus. He’s not here. Fuck—he’s not here. He’s not at camp,” he blurted out.

 

“Oh my God,” Pandora gasped, picking herself up as Lily held her tight from her waist. 

 

“Did you check the tents?” James asked him as he stalked toward each one of the tents around them, tearing their flaps open frantically, almost breaking one of them while doing so. 

 

“No, I—,” Evan started, but he was quickly interrupted by a float of curses coming out of James’ mouth. 

 

“Shit—shit—shit,” James cursed as he stepped away from the tents and began marching around the  camp, eyes flitting maniacally around, scanning every inch of camp. “How long has it been? When did you notice that he was gone?” James urged as he stared at him with wide, horrified eyes.

 

Evan wondered why he seemed so worried. He’d only known Regulus for merely five days. Definitely not enough to feel any sort of visceral care for someone.

 

“Like—right now,” Evan replied, voice trembling. Breathing had suddenly become hard. “I—I was thirsty. So I woke up to get some water. When I looked at his spot, I noticed that it was empty.” 

 

“Fuck!” Barty screamed, shooting up from the ground. He harshly passed one hand through his messy dark hair, pulling at them hard. As though he wished to hurt himself. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck!”  

 

The bruise around his neck appeared almost black in the darkness of the night, Evan noticed. He approached him cautiously, making sure he hadn’t hurt himself. 

 

“Barts?” he said, closing his fingers around Barty’s wrist.

 

“I should’ve—” Barty’s voice cracked. “I—I fucking knew it. I saw him looking at something earlier—and I thought—” A tear fell down his cheek. Evan forced himself not to reach out and brush it away. “I shouldn’t have taken my eyes off of him. I shouldn’t have—”

 

Evan furrowed his brows. He felt both stunned and confused. He hadn’t noticed any of the things Barty was rambling about.

 

“Looking at what?” James demanded, stalking right in front of him. His expression seemed utterly alarmed. 

 

“I don’t—I don’t know. Something.” Barty was on the verge of a panic attack. Evan knew it. He’d come to sense when they were about to arrive, rushing through Barty’s body like a forceful wave of the ocean without any type of warning. “I saw him looking at something, before we all went to sleep—but I was tired, and I just—I thought it was his head, you know? The hit—so I just let him go to sleep because—because I thought it would help—” 

 

Barty’s breathing had become shallow. Each word that pushed past his lips was promptly followed by a strangled gasp of air. “Shit, what if—,” another helpless gasp, “what if a Dementor got him? What if Frank—”

 

Barty fell on the ground. He placed one shaky hand over his heart.

 

“Shitshit,” Evan exclaimed, throwing himself on the ground next to him, his knees hurting at the impact. In the span of those couple of seconds, he recited inside his mind every single thing he was supposed to do in these situations. He grabbed both of Barty’s hands in his and squeezed them hard. “Barts, you need to breathe, alright?”

 

Barty promptly shook his head, gasping so loudly it seemed like he was about to drown. “It’s my fault—It’s my fault—i i i if we don’t find him. My faaa. My fault,” he rasped, words barely comprehensible. His entire body quivered violently.

 

“Water!” Evan bellowed to the others, who were staring bewildered at the scene. His eyes never left Barty. “Give me some fucking water!”

 

Barty collapsed into him. He gave violent, painful sobs over Evan’s chest. Evan grasped his hands even tighter, turning them a vivid shade of crimson. “You need to breathe, Barty. In and out,” he said, inhaling and exhaling hard to make a point. Barty wasn’t listening to him. It seemed like his brain wasn’t even processing words from the outside. Only the ones inside his head. 

 

“We need to find him. We need to find him. We need to find him,” Barty moaned over his chest, completely drenched in tears and what Evan assumed was spit.

 

He felt helpless. He always did, when Barty had a panic attack. There was nothing he could do to calm him down. Or Pandora, or Dorcas, for that matter. 

 

Only Regulus.

 

One of his simple pat over Barty’s back or brush of hair would immediately ease his frantic gasps for air. Sometimes even just words. Reassuring, soft phrases whispered over his ear. Just like magic.  

 

But Regulus wasn’t there. He was missing. On the contrary, he was the very reason why Barty was in that state at the moment. 

 

And Evan had no idea what to do.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus was an idiot. A lost idiot, he might add. 

 

Because that’s what he was. An idiot.

 

And also completely, utterly, fucking lost.

 

He squeezed his eyes shut, nails digging into his scalp as harshly as he could. “Fuck!” he screamed, the words echoing loudly against the stillness of the maze. “I’m so stupid. Such a stupid fuck.”

 

He couldn’t believe how much of a fool he’d been. There had always been one strict rule inside this hell of a maze. A rule that he had made himself.

 

One. Single. Rule.

 

Never leave the camp without the petals.

 

And he had just done that.

 

And now—

 

Now he had no idea where he was. No idea how to go back to camp. Fuck. He was pacing like a wild animal in front of the door, trying to think. 

 

Think.

 

One hand went to his head, hitting it. Hard.

 

Think.

 

Should he start screaming?

 

Maybe the camp wasn’t that far. Maybe the others were already looking for him.

 

“Guys!”

 

“Can someone hear me?”

 

Silence.

 

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

 

He looked in front of him. The massive stone door and at the phoenix carved on it were still there. His eyes found the butterfly again, resting on one of the phoenix’s wing. Still there too.

 

Regulus moved quickly. He went straight for the butterfly.

 

 “You led me here. The voice. It was you. Can’t you bring me back?”

 

The butterfly didn’t move.

 

It didn’t turn.

 

And obviously, it didn’t speak.

 

Regulus started laughing. He was talking to a butterfly. He was yelling at a butterfly. Another laugh. The hit in the head must’ve really fucked his brain up.

 

”I’m crazy,” he said. “I’m completely absolutely fucking insane.” 

 

He started laughing again. At this point, he didn’t know if it was because he thought it was actually funny or because he was just having a full on meltdown.

 

You know what? He was either going to die alone, lost in that maze, or inside the door. So be it. 

 

“Fuck it.”

 

He ragained a bit of normalcy. And moved toward the door, determined.

 

One step. Then another.

 

He stopped just before the door, staring at the details on the phoenix’s body. At its wings, at its eyes. For just a sigle second, he could’ve sworn they moved. Followed his movements. 

 

He lifted a hand.

 

Yes Regulus.

 

Touch it. 

 

Now.

 

He took a sharp breath—and pressed his palm against the stone.

 

The reaction was immediate.

 

The door immediately reacted to his touch, as if it had been waiting for him. Only him.

 

The phoenix’s eyes lit up, glowing so intensely with blue light that Regulus had to stumble back and cover his eyes.

 

The light burned his vision.

 

He blinked rapidly, adjusting.

 

And as soon as he dropped his hand from his eyes, he realized—

 

The door had opened.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

“Are you sure you’re feeling better?” Evan asked him as he knelt down in front of him. The unused cup of water was still in his hands. 

 

Barty fought the urge to scream in his face.

 

Of course he fucking wasn’t.

 

He could still feel his body trembling. He could still feel his stomach devouring itself every time he so much as thought about Regulus. 

 

He wasn’t crying anymore, and his lungs had started allowing air inside about ten minutes ago—so yes, maybe physically he felt slightly better.

 

Mentally? That was a completely different discussion.

 

Addiction was a very dangerous thing, he’d come to realize; being so viscerally connected to someone that whenever they weren’t in your presence you’d begun feeling genuinely ill. 

 

Regulus was his drug; addictive, consuming him from the inside. When you had it, everything seemed perfect, despite knowing that it wasn’t good for you. But when you didn't—you’d begun feeling as though you were about to die. 

 

That’s how Barty felt. Like he was about to die if he spent another second without knowing where the fuck Regulus was.

 

“I need to go find him,” he said after several seconds, standing up to his feet. He wobbled to the sides slightly as he did. He could still feel the remnants of his previous panic attack lingering on him like sharp needles.

 

Evan promptly caught him. “Hey—easy,” he whispered. “You’re still weak.”

 

“Fuck you, I’m not weak,” he replied with a sneer, wrenching himself from Evan’s grip.

 

He hated his anxiety attacks. Despised them, and their aftermaths. Especially the aftermaths.

 

He felt fragile and vulnerable, and the others never helped. They treated him like a frail, ill child every time they occurred. Evan, especially. 

 

Deep down, Barty knew that they were simply worried about him. For that, he was grateful. But he hated the fact that sometimes they’d treat him differently simply because of his anxiety. 

 

Regulus was the only one to always treat him the same. He knew exactly what to say, how to calm him. As though he’d done it a hundred million times already. 

 

“You can’t go look for him in this state, Barty,” said Dorcas as she approached him. Her brows were knitted in worry. 

 

“Yeah,” Lily agreed. “You’re supposed to rest after an anxiety attack.”

 

A sour laugh pushed past Barty’s lips before he could stop it. “As if you know shit about panic attacks,” he accused, marching with purpose toward the border of the camp. 

 

They were wasting time. Because of him. They were still on this fucking camp talking about his fucking anxiety instead of looking for Regulus. 

 

Barty fought the urge to hit himself; as if this mess wasn’t already his fault enough.

 

“Barty—” he heard Evan call. 

 

“No,” he growled, whirling his body around at once. “I’m going. Now. If you don’t want to come, then don’t. But I am.” His voice was cold like ice, but still shaky.

 

They weren’t understanding. None of them.

 

He needs me. I need him.

 

“He’s right,” Sirius urged. “We’re wasting time. We need to go.” Barty noticed a slight tremble laced in his voice. He wondered if he was simply cold or hiding some deep-rooted fear that he was too proud to admit.

 

“Alright,” James announced, drawing near the edge of camp. “We’ll split into two groups. One will search the sections around camp, the other—”

 

Barty felt something snap inside of him. 

 

“Oh, fuck you,” he cursed, drawing threateningly closer. 

 

James backed away. “Excuse me?”

 

“Why the fuck should you take charge for this?” Barty snarled. He felt the throbbing bruise on his neck pulse violently as he screamed. “You’re not even friends.”

 

James’ eyes darkened. The muscle on his jaw twitched uncontrollably. As though he was forcing himself to stay silent with every ounce of strength in his body. “Because I care,” he said coldly. 

 

He cares. 

 

Barty nearly laughed at his face.

 

He didn’t.

 

He did much worse.

 

“And do you think you care more than me? Me?” he growled over James’ face, shoving him. Hard. So hard James nearly tripped and fell. “I’ve been by his side from day one. Day. One. No one cares about him more than me.”

 

“Barty!” Evan squealed, but he paid no attention to him.

 

James gave him a long, terrifying look. “And who are you to decide that for him, exactly?” he hissed through his teeth.

 

“Enough!” bellowed Mary, stalking in between them. Barty forced himself not to shove her too. “You guys are fucking pathetic.” 

 

Barty whirled his head toward her. 

 

“We get it,” she lashed out, eyes flashing from one face to the other. “You both want to play the heroes who save the fucking—lost princess. Who fucking cares. He’s still missing. And we’re still wasting time standing here while you two have a competition on whoever the fuck has a bigger dick.”

 

Barty flinched. 

 

There was a still silence after that. 

 

He closed his eyes and willed himself to regain his sanity back. There was no time for stupid arguments. Especially not with someone as useless as fucking James. 

 

Nothing was important but finding Regulus. He had to remind this to himself. 

 

He gave one final, sneering look at James and then swallowed hard. “Let’s go then.” His voice was rageful and sour. 

 

Murmurs of agreement followed, and everyone slowly began heading toward the border of camp.

 

Everyone, but Dorcas. 

 

“I’ll stay back,” Dorcas suddenly said, making Barty snap his head so fast it was a miracle he didn’t crack his neck.

 

“What?” he asked in bewilderment.

 

Dorcas gave a deep sigh. “Marlene’s still passed out, Barty.” She tilted her head toward the spot where Marlene slept curled into a ball. She was trembling wildly. Almost frighteningly. “Someone needs to check on her.”

 

Barty widened his eyes. Perhaps from being stunned. Perhaps from being angry. 

 

He’s more important than her. He’s more important than anyone.

 

“Are you actually serious?” he raged. His voice raised automatically. “Your best friend is missing and you want to stay here to check on—her?” His tone had never sounded so cruel. 

 

“Yes,” Dorcas replied in a beat. “Also—if Regulus comes back, he won’t be alone.” 

 

No matter how reasonable Dorcas was being, nothing seemed to go the way Barty wished. “He’s your best friend, Dorcas,” he said coldly. 

 

Dorcas pushed her jaw up. “I’m staying, Barty.” Her voice didn’t waver. 

 

Fuck you, he almost screamed at her. 

 

He closed his fists tightly to contain his rage and remain silent.

 

“Do you need one of us to stay with you? Just in case?” Evan asked her, drawing nearer. 

 

Dorcas shook her head without hesitation. “No. You’ll cover more ground if you all go.” She looked up then, gaze locking onto Barty’s. “If Regulus comes back, I’ll find a way to tell you. I promise.”

 

Barty released a bitter sigh. “Fine. Whatever. I don’t fucking care. Do as you wish.” He looked away and turned on his heels. “Can we fucking go now?”

 

He then turned and walked, without even checking if the others were following behind. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus stepped forward. 

 

A…chamber? No, too small to be a chamber. A room. That’s what was hidden behind the door. Not an exit. A small, utterly stunning room. 

 

The walls, the ceiling, even the floor…they were all made of ice. Ice so clear and transparent that it almost looked like glass.

 

It was beautiful. Cold, but beautiful.

 

It wasn’t really like the cold he felt the morning before the test, despite his breath showing in the air every time he exhaled. It was a gentle chill, definitely not harsh.

 

Right in the middle was an altar, and resting upon it was a huge sculpture of the Phoenix, the same design as the one on the door. They were both carved from ice too. 

 

Regulus’s boots crunched softly against the frozen ground as he walked around.

 

The butterfly entered inside the room with him, flying gently around it. The deep blue of its wings was a perfect match to their surroundings. It looked like it belonged there. 

 

The altar, Regulus.

Look at the altar.

 

Look.

 

Regulus moved closer cautiously. 

 

He took one step toward the altar, then another, then another—

 

Look Regulus.

 

Look. 

 

And he did.

 

Right at the heart of the altar, a small box was resting there.

 

Unlike the rest of the room, it wasn’t made of that same transparent ice. The ice this time was a deep blue. Regulus’s fingers traced over the box, as if he wanted to study and discover every single detail about it.

 

Slowly, carefully, he pressed his fingertips to the edges and tried to open it. 

 

One time. Two. Three.

 

It didn’t budge.

 

Regulus frowned. He adjusted his grip, running his hands along the sides, searching for a clip, a lock, any kind of opening.

 

Nothing.

 

It was sealed shut.

 

A frustrated exhale left him, curling into mist in the frozen air.

 

Regulus tightened his grip around the box and turned it over, searching for anything else—any kind of inscription or clue.

 

And then—

 

His breath hitched.

 

Carved into the ice, right at the bottom of the frozen surface, were words.

 

“Forever.”

 

Regulus froze. He stopped breathing.

 

Forever.

 

His head started hurting. 

 

Forever.

 

He couldn’t stop looking at the words. Couldn’t stop reading them. As if by looking at them enough, he’d finally understand them. Understand why something inside his mind—inside his heart—suddenly stirred up. 

 

He swallowed hard. His heart pounded. His fingers gently retraced the words engraved.

 

Why does it feel like this word matters to me?

 

He squeezed his eyes shut, searching every corner of his mind for an answer. 

 

Nothing. 

 

His mind was still empty. Memories still gone.

 

Regulus sat on the ground. He held the box in one hand, while the other was pulling at his hair, hard.

 

Think. Think. 

 

Forever. Forever.

 

Think.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Sirius couldn’t understand what was going on with his body.

 

He felt completely detached from it; like his mind had become a separate entity, devoid of any control or emotion and unable to give him orders. He didn’t know how his legs were still moving. His lungs still getting air. His heart still beating.

 

Fear. That was the only clear thing he could still feel. Like poison inside his veins, flowing through them instead of blood.

 

He didn’t have a proper explanation for it. Or perhaps he did. But he was simply too stubborn to admit it to himself, even though the thoughts had been on his mind for quite some time now. But it wasn’t the right time to ponder about it. Emotions—they weren’t relevant at the moment. Useful. Nothing was. 

 

Because deep down he knew that finding Regulus would be the only thing to ease the sense of terror that was invading both his mind and body. 

 

He marched with purpose through the dark corridors of the maze as he dropped some leaves after every step he took. He kept reciting in his mind the same two things over and over.

 

Leave leaves, not petals.

 

Leave leaves, not petals.

 

They couldn’t get confused if they found some. 

 

It had been Regulus’ idea—leaving the petals around the maze. “We won’t get lost like this,” he said on a random morning during their first days there, when they were dividing the maze in sections and planning the first searches. 

 

That was why Sirius knew he would never forget them. Never. He was too wary and precise to ever leave camp without them.

 

Still, as he rapidly flitted his eyes on the ground, he couldn’t find a single petal. He was looking for them desperately. They all were. It was the only hint that could possibly lead them toward Regulus. 

 

And there weren’t any. 

 

“No petals,” he said after several minutes, frustration emanating from every pore. “It’s impossible that he forgot. He never forgets.” 

 

He hardly bit the inside of his cheek, pinching it with his teeth. He felt a metallic taste slip over his tongue right after.

 

If there were no petals, perhaps something had taken Regulus. A Dementor, perhaps. Just like Barty had said in the midst of his anxiety attack. It could’ve simply dragged him into the depths of the maze without the possibility of getting found and then—

 

Sirius closed his eyes and willed himself to breathe. 

 

He was a leader. He wasn’t supposed to look fragile. On the contrary, he was meant to be everyone’s anchor during times like this. After the incident with Frank, he owed it to everyone. To himself, most of all. 

 

But it was Regulus. Arrogant, annoying Regulus.

 

Who Sirius wanted to protect more than anyone else in that maze.

 

Why? He had no fucking idea. 

 

A gagging sound cut harshly through his mind, making him whirl his head around at once. Barty suddenly stalked toward one of the stone walls of the maze, supporting his body with one arm as he violently threw up all over the ground.

 

Evan rushed to his side, giving soft pats on Barty’s back as he worked him through it. “You’re alright. It’s alright. I’m here, okay? Breathe. We’re going to find him. Breathe for me,” he whispered softly to Barty.

 

Sirius stared at the scene. He pressed his mouth into a thin line. The sense of helplessness and uselessness he’d been bearing kept growing more and more with every passing second.

 

Much to his own dismay, he’d grown to care about the other group too. That urge of protection—he was starting to feel it for everyone. 

 

Everyone.

 

Especially the one person who was missing at the moment. 

 

Ridiculous, right? That’s what he thought too.

 

He’d been certain he hated Regulus. Loathed him, from the very first moment he locked eyes with him. He had never stopped himself to think about why he felt that way toward him. He’d simply given up, and let himself be swallowed by this unrelenting rage that had no right to consume him like it had. 

 

It was still there—the anger. When Regulus would give him his usual judging looks or acid answers. But it had shifted; morphed into something he couldn’t grasp no matter how hard he tried.

 

“Are you alright?” he asked Barty, approaching him cautiously. 

 

Barty gave a sour laugh. “Oh yeah. Can’t you see? Everything is going amazing,” he spat mockingly.

  

Sirius eyed him carefully. His cheeks seemed flushed from vomiting, despite the darkness of the night. Sirius pitied him, though he couldn’t blame him. If Remus had gone missing, he’d probably be in the same exact situation. Maybe even worse. 

 

“We’ll find him, Barty,” he said, forcing his voice to stay unwavering. 

 

“And what if we don’t?”

 

Sirius felt his eyes darken. “Don’t say that,” he said, tone cold like ice. “We—we will. We’ll find him.”

 

Barty rolled his jaw as he stood. He dragged one hand over his lips, removing the remnants of vomit from his mouth. “We don’t even know if he’s alive, you do realize that, right?” 

 

Sirius felt as though he was the one that was about to have a panic attack now. 

 

“Watch your fucking mouth,” James gritted through his teeth, drawing threateningly closer to Barty. Sirius could see the rage emanating from him. 

 

Sirius was about to step between them, but fortunately Evan was faster. He wasn’t in the mood to break an idiotic fight in a time like this. 

 

“You two are starting to really fucking annoy me,” Evan lashed out, pushing them back from their chest. “Stop acting like fucking kids.” 

 

“Maybe if he stopped saying that Regulus is dead I’d leave him the fuck alone,” spat James. His blue eyes darkened so much they now appeared black against the dark of the night. 

 

Barty’s mouth twisted in anger. “Why the fuck do you care so much about Regulus? You don’t even know him,” Barty hissed in a sharp voice, raising his tone. 

 

James’ expression hardened for a mere second. Then, just as fast, it shifted into something unreadable. As though he had put on an invisible mask, unreachable to the naked eye. He stared away from Barty and began walking away. 

 

Sirius felt absolutely stunned. 

 

For a moment, he even forgot what they were supposed to do. What they were trying to do. But as was clear, there was no time for emotions right now. Not even confusion. 

 

So he regained the last bits of his sanity and marched toward James’ direction, leaving leaves on the ground as he walked. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus was still staring at the box of ice.

 

“Forever.”

 

The same aching feeling was still on his chest, but his mind couldn’t piece together the meaning behind those words.

 

He didn’t want to admit it, but he was honestly starting to feel a bit hopeless. What if this box was the only way out? What if understanding its meaning was the only way to find his way back? 

 

What if? What if?

   

Regulus exhaled sharply, forcing himself to stand up, to think. There had to be a way. There was always a way. He was smart. Smarter than anyone. 

 

Think.

Think.

 

His eyes found the butterfly.

 

It was still there in the room, fluttering gently near the altar, its delicate blue wings shimmering. But now—it had stopped.

 

Right above the Phoenix.

 

 The Phoenix is good.

 

Of course, of course. 

 

That was the key. The door had opened as soon as he touched the Phoenix. It was going to open the box too. Regulus was certain of it. 

 

Carefully, he reached forward to the altar and pressed his palm against the Phoenix’s chest.

 

Please, work.

 

Please.

 

Silence.

 

For a moment, nothing happened.

 

Then—

 

Pain. Sharp. Violent.

 

All over his head.

 

In every single corner of his brain.

 

Regulus immediately removed his hand from the Phoenix, and started screaming. Loud. 

 

He had never felt pain like this in his entire life. His head wasn’t just hurting. It felt like fire suddenly appeared in his skull and started burning his brain. 

 

He fell to the ground. 

 

Kept screaming.

 

Please, stop.

 

Please.

 

Please.

 

The pain was so sharp that he started hallucinating.

 

Blurry scenes that made no sense crashed over his mind.

 

A laboratory. White walls. White lights. The sharp smell of chemicals filling his nose. A muffled voice telling him “You’re brilliant, Regulus.”

 

Snow. Laughter. He knew this laughter. 

 

One specific hallucination became more clear. Real. It wasn’t blurry, it wasn’t confused. 

 

There was a car.

 

The sound of engine was clear in his head. 

 

Regulus sat in the passenger seat, tracing letters repeatedly over the frost-covered glass.

 

One letter, in particular.

 

The J.

 

The world outside was covered in snow, the streets all icy.

 

His breath fogged up the window as he watched the snowfall.

 

A song was playing.

 

Regulus groaned, leaning his head back against the seat. “Not this again.”

 

A laugh. The laugh. Warm. Familiar.

 

He turned his head—

 

And saw James.

 

James was driving, one hand on the wheel, the other tapping against his thigh. His hair was a mess, and he had that ridiculous smile—the one Regulus had always secretly loved.

 

Regulus’ breath caught in his throat. The pain in his head had disappeared.

 

James?

 

What the fuck was James doing in his head?

 

“Shut up,” James said, looking at him with a smirk. “I know you know all the lyrics.”

 

Regulus scoffed, rolling his eyes. “That’s literally your fault.”

 

The car moved through the empty streets. Regulus watched the scene from his window. He loved the snow.

 

They started singing.

 

Regulus didn’t even realize it at first. It was instinct. Natural.

 

“Oh, take me back to the Night We Met—”

 

The more they sang, the more they laughed.

 

They were happy.

 

Regulus was happy.

 

Smiling. Laughing. He hadn’t even known he could do that.

 

James took one of his hands from the steering wheel and used it as a fake microphone. 

 

“You’re so stupid,” Regulus said as he laughed.

 

And laughed. And laughed. And laughed. 

 

And the hallucination disappeared.

 

Regulus gasped and opened his eyes.

 

He was still on the ground, shaking, his forehead resting against the cold ice beneath him. 

 

His heart was pounding against his chest. 

 

That didn’t feel like an hallucination.

 

It didn’t.

 

Hallucinations aren’t supposed to feel real. They’re not supposed to make you feel things.

 

And Regulus did. 

 

He felt so many things.

 

Joy. Happiness. Warmth. Love. 

 

His head started spinning. He found the strength to finally stand up from the ground.

 

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck—what the fuck—?”

 

His hands tangled in his curls, pulling hard, as if he could physically rip the the emotions out of his head. The hallucinations out. 

 

Should he even call them hallucinations? Should he start calling them what they actually felt like? 

 

Memories.

 

But if they actually were memories and not just pieces created by his mind, then that meant that the feelings he felt inside had also been real.

 

And that meant—

 

No.

 

No, absolutely not. 

 

That—that wasn’t what this was.

 

It couldn’t be.

 

He hadn’t been in love with James in his past life. He hadn’t.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

“Regulus!”

 

Lily could feel her throat starting to burn. She didn’t know how long she’d been screaming Regulus’ name for. How much they’d all been screaming it. It could’ve been two hours. Or six. Maybe eight. She wasn’t sure. 

 

Time had become blurry, as had her vision as she willed herself to keep her eyes open. She felt tired and sleep deprived. 

 

She honestly thought she was about to collapse. Her lungs ached painfully both from the running and the screaming. She didn’t complain though. She wanted to find Regulus just as much as the others. Maybe even more, if it meant easing the pain she perceived on Pandora’s face every time she so much as glanced at her. 

 

That’s what kept Lily’s legs going. 

 

“Regulus!” Peter called, panting. “Regulus! Can you hear us? Where are you?!”

 

Mary hissed, placing one hand on her chest. “Guys, stop. One second,” she gasped, halting. “I’m going to fucking die over here.”

 

Lily quickly approached her, agitated. They had enough problems already. The last thing they needed was someone suddenly having a stroke right in the middle of the maze, with no lights or supplies to help. “Are you okay? Where does it hurt?” she asked Mary, pressing one hand over her heart to check her pulse. 

 

“It’s just—the running,” Mary said hoarsely, trying to steady her breathing. 

 

Her pulse was spiking, Lily noticed. They’d been running for hours nonstop, so it was to be expected. Still, it was a good excuse to stop and recharge, at least for some minutes. “You’re not dying,” she said to Mary, who simply scowled. 

 

“I know that.” 

 

“But we do need to stop and take a break,” Lily announced, withdrawing her hand. 

 

“I agree,” Remus cut in, drawing closer. He seemed out of breath too. It wasn’t surprising. Remus wasn’t really…an athlete, let’s just say. He hated sweating and every sort of activity that involved moving his body for more than five minutes. It had been surprising enough seeing him running around the maze for that long. “We’ve been running for hours. Let’s sit down for a little.” 

 

Lily gave an earnest nod, patting him on the back. “Yeah. We’ll pass out if we keep going at this pace anyway.” 

 

They slowly sat down over the cold stone ground of the maze, forming a small circle. The maze was eerily silent during the night. It creeped Lily out a bit. She’d always considered herself as someone really brave, with only a few irrelevant fears. 

 

But, well. Could anyone really blame her for feeling slightly frightened after everything they’d been through these past couple of hours?

 

She still hadn’t properly processed what had happened to Frank. She couldn’t think about it. She hadn’t had time to do that. First Frank, then Marlene, now Regulus. It looked like the maze didn’t want to make them rest. Like its solely purpose was to make them go even more insane than they already were.

 

She wondered if she’d ever recover from the traumas she was living. If they’d ever recover. She wasn’t sure. 

 

As much as she was a good medic, problems of the mind weren’t really her specialty. The earlier accident with Barty had been proof of that. Still, she was certain that if they’d ever escaped and found a way out, they’d need a lot of mental and physiological assistance to heal from this utterly dreadful ordeal. 

 

“Sirius seemed really worried about Regulus, didn’t he?” Mary said after several seconds, looking at Remus with pursed lips. 

 

Remus gnawed his bottom lip and then hummed. “Yeah,” he whispered. “I think he’s always cared about Regulus, in a way. He’s just—not really good at showing it. Or, well, admitting it, I guess.”

 

Lily frowned. She had honestly never noticed this possible care for Sirius toward Regulus. Maybe she hadn’t paid much attention. “I’ve always seen them argue, though.” 

 

“Right,” agreed Peter. “Ever since the first days.” 

 

“I don’t know if it’s like that for Reg, to be honest,” Pandora spoke for the first time since they began looking for Regulus. “I don’t even know if he even cares about us. He’s difficult to understand.” 

 

Lily quickly turned around, facing her. Pandora’s bottom lip had started shaking; her eyes turned glassy.  

 

Lily instantly felt sorry. She’d grown to care for Pandora. She felt—protective over her. Overly so. “Don’t say that,” she told her firmly. “You know that’s not true.” 

 

“Yeah,” said Mary, nodding. “He’s a cold soul, I’ll say that. But he cares about you guys. That’s clear as day.” 

 

Pandora shook her head, fluttering her eyes closed. “Maybe he cares about Barty, or Evan. Maybe even Dorcas. But me?” Her voice cracked at the end. “I don’t know. I—I don’t bring anything to the group beside those stupid fucking flowers.”

 

Lily could feel a strange kind of rage blooming inside of her. It wasn’t like the limpid, visceral rage she’d felt with James hours earlier. 

 

This one was different, unfamiliar; mixed with frustration and pity. 

 

“Stop saying that. Stop talking about yourself like this," she said hardly. She grabbed Pandora’s arm, making her turn her head to face her. “Every single one of us brings something to this group. And you do. So much. You bring joy and reassurance. You make people feel—loved. Deserving of affection. You make me feel better and loved. Every single day, with just a simple graze of hand or word. I see it. I feel it. How can you not see that, Pandora?”

 

As soon as the last words left her mouth, she felt a rush of blood coming right through her face.

 

Pandora stared at her with eyes and mouth wide open, appearing utterly speechless.

 

“Well,” Remus chuckled after several seconds. “That took a turn.” 

 

"Right," Mary laughed. Her lips were curled at the corners.

 

Lily forced herself not to curse at them. She stared down at the ground in embarrassment for a couple of minutes as she tried to come to terms with what she had just said.

 

Was that—

 

Did she—have a crush?

 

And worst of all—had she just admitted it right in front of her friends?

 

Jesus. She wanted to dig a hole inside the stone ground beneath her and disappear entirely. 

 

She quickly stood up. “Alright,” she said, changing the subject. “Let’s—let’s keep moving.” 

 

Remus stared up at her and gave her amusing smirk, remaining silent. He knew better than to say anything further. “We’ll search for as long as we can,” he said instead, pushing himself up. “When we feel like we can’t take it anymore, we return back to camp.” 

 

Peter swallowed hard. “Maybe the others found him already. Should we just—head back? Right now? To check?”

 

“No,” replied Mary, shaking her head. “We would’ve heard something. It’s been too quiet.”

 

“Right,” Lily said, giving an earnest nod. “They would have come to find us if they’d found him already. Let’s try and keep going for as much as we can. When our legs give out, we go back to Dorcas and Marlene.” 

 

Pandora sniffled from beside her, hiding her face with her hands. Her shoulders quivered. “What—what if we don’t find him?” she rasped, voice muffled.

 

Lily’s lips automatically curled down. 

 

Fuck it.

 

“Hey, hey,” she whispered. She took Pandora’s hands in hers, not minding the embarrassment anymore. She wanted to reassure her as much as she possibly could. Just like Pandora had done for her hours ago when she needed it the most. “We’ll find him. I promise, alright? We’ll find him. No matter what.”

 

No matter what.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Drip, drip, drip, drip.

 

The sound of melting ice reverbated along the walls of the room.

 

Regulus’s gaze immediately shot back to the altar. The ice box was melting right in front of him. He waited until the last piece of ice had completely disappeared.

 

Two small glass vials appeared in its place.

 

Regulus shot one arm forward and took them in his hands. Slowly, his fingers closed around the vials. The glass was cold. He turned them over in his hand. No labels. No markings. The liquid inside it was a shimmering blue.

 

He narrowed his eyes a bit, trying to think. A weird familiar feeling shot through him.

 

Not in a way he could explain. Not in a way that made sense. 

 

But he was sure he’d seen them before.

 

His jaw tightened.

 

He needed to get out of here. He needed to get to the others. Now.

 

His eyes moved to the small butterfly and noticed that it was flying toward the exit of the room.

 

His grip tightened on the vials. Then, he shoved them into his pocket and took a single step forward.

 

“Are you taking me back to the camp?”

 

The butterfly, this time, didn’t reply. The voice in his head had disappeared. Regulus secretly missed it. 

 

The butterfly slipped out from the chamber and started leading toward the dark corridors of the maze.

 

Regulus swallowed hard.

 

He looked back at the icy room one last time.

 

Then, he turned, and followed the butterfly back into the maze.

Notes:

Ceilings - Lizzy McAlpine.

Chapter 9: The Kiss

They had been searching for hours.

 

The orange light of the sun setting was the only small hint they had of how much time they’d spent inside the maze.

 

Their legs ached. Their stomachs growled.

 

They had spent the entire day looking for Regulus; looking for petals, screaming his name. They even went back to the door with the painted symbol.

 

Nothing.

 

No sign of him. Anywhere.

 

No one said it out loud, but the determination they had at the very first start of the search was disappearing with every passing minute.

 

Evan was the first to talk after hours.

 

He didn’t want to—God, he didn’t—but the words pushed past his lips before he could stop them.

 

“We’re not going to find him, are we?”

 

No one responded.

 

That was the worst part.

 

No immediate snap of don’t be stupid, no reassurance, no anger.

 

Just silence.

 

James stared at the ground, his legs moving on their own, never stopping. Sirius thightened his jaw and kept on walking as if he hadn’t heard what Evan just said. 

 

And Barty—

 

“We should turn back.”

 

Four words. Four words that he had never thought he would say. Four words that didn’t make sense to him or anyone else.

 

But what were they supposed to do?

 

Keep walking? Keep calling out a name that never answered? They hadn’t eaten or drank anything in almost twenty four hours. They were going to die if they kept the search for any longer.

 

Sirius suddenly stopped his steps and spoke after hours. “I’m not going back.” 

 

Everyone turned to look at him.

 

”You can go. I’m not going back until I find him.” Sirius continued. His breath was uneven. His shaking hands now visible to everyone. He wasn’t ever trying to hide them anymore.

 

Barty’s lips pressed into a thin line. “We’re wasting time. We should—” He hesitated. “We’ll die if we don’t get some wat—“

 

”Then I’ll just fucking die, I guess.” Sirius replied sharply. 

 

Barty’s eyes went glassy. The truth was, he obviously didn’t want to stop. He didn’t want to. He didn’t care about food or water. He didn’t care about dying while looking for Regulus. Barty would die for him, that was a fact. He knew that. He felt that. But the more time passed, the more intrusive thoughts started filling up his brain.

 

If you keep walking, you’ll find him dead.

 

He’s dead, Barty.

 

A Dementor got him.

 

The hit in his head killed him.

 

And honestly? A missing Regulus was better than a dead Regulus. 

 

”Sirius I’m—“ Barty started, but he was quickly interrupted by Sirius.

 

”Shut the fuck up, Barty” he said, his eyes going wide. “Did you guys hear that?”

 

The others looked at him confused.

 

”Footsteps. I heard them.” Sirius continued.

 

They immediately fell silent. They even tried to slow their heavy breathing so they could hear better. 

 

For a moment, they heard nothing.

 

Then—a gentle rustling of wings.

 

Someone breathing heavily.

 

Footsteps. Slow at first. Then faster. And faster. And faster. And—

 

James stopped breathing.

 

Evan widened his eyes.

 

Sirius stopped shaking.

 

Barty fell to the ground with his knees.

 

“Miss me?” Regulus asked, a faint grin spreading across his lips.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

“Fucking hell, Reg!”

 

Sirius’s voice exploded through the air. He stormed forward, closing the distance in three long strides before shoving Regulus—not gently.

 

“Where the fuck have you been?”

 

James was by his side in seconds, his big blue eyes filled with clear worry. “We were worried sick.” he said as he was scanning Regulus’s entire body, maybe looking for any injury.

 

Regulus took an instinctive step back. 

 

“I know you know all the lyrics.”

 

”That’s literally your fault.”

 

 “Are you fucking stupid?” Evan yelled. “We thought we weren’t going to find you like—ever again.”

 

Regulus pushed his memory with James out of his mind. He’ll handle that later. They needed an explanation. They needed it. 

 

But before he could say anything—Barty suddenly stood up from the ground. Fast.

 

He passed between all of them and went face to face with Regulus. 

 

“You fucking idiot.”

 

Regulus barely had time to blink before Barty grabbed him by the jacket. His hands were shaking so much, Regulus noticed.

 

“We thought you were dead.”

 

His voice cracked—raw, furious, breaking.  His fingers clenched tighter, dragging Regulus closer. Their noses were touching now. Barty’s breath hitched.

 

“I thought you were dead.”

 

And just like that, Barty kissed him.

 

Not gently, no.

 

It was hard and desperate and messy—a collision of lips and breath and tears. All the frustration, the fear Barty had felt in the past twenty four hours. He poured all of it one, simple kiss.

 

Regulus stiffened.

 

No.

 

This is wrong.

 

We’re doing something wrong.

 

It’s not you I’m supposed to kiss. 

 

It’s not.

 

But Regulus didn’t push him away. Not because he didn’t want to, but because someone else already had.

 

“What the fuck are you doing?”

 

James’ voice was angry. He was angry. His eyes were wide, furious.

 

Barty stumbled back, dazed, his lips still tingling, his breath coming short. He looked at James with clear confusion in his eyes.

 

So James simply cleared that confusion for him, in the worst way possible.

 

“Get the fuck away from my boyfriend.”

 

Silence.

 

Like, complete and utter fucking silence.

 

The wind stopped. The sound of leaves rustling stopped.

 

The entire world stopped.

 

Evan’s entire body froze. Sirius’s mouth fell to the ground. Barty looked like he had just been hit over the head with a fucking hammer.

 

And Regulus?

 

Regulus blinked.

 

Very, very slowly, he turned to look at James.

 

“Your what?”

 

James’ soul left his body.

 

Well, shit.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

They stood there frozen for what felt like hours. The sun had almost completely set now, the maze darkening right before their eyes. 

 

No one knew what to say. Or maybe they did, and just didn’t have the courage to speak. Or maybe, the shock that was filling up their brain was so big that the words just wouldn’t come out.

 

Before anyone could even attempt to say something, Barty lunged himself toward the ground, again. His hands shot up to his mouth as if he was about to throw up again.

 

“Oh my god.”

 

He sounded horrified.

 

“Oh my actual fucking god.”

 

His eyes were wide open, going from Regulus to James at a speed that looked nothing but normal.

 

“Did I just—” He sucked in a sharp breath. “Did I just kiss someone’s boyfriend?!”

 

Sirius burst out laughing.

 

Like, full-body, hand-on-his-knees, almost yelling laughter.

 

“Oh, wow,” he said as he wiped a tear from his eyes. “This is a disaster. ”

 

Barty ignored him.

 

He was too busy staring at Regulus, then James, then Regulus again, looking like he was having an actual fucking crisis.

 

Evan snorted. “The others are going to love this when we tell them.” 

 

But Regulus didn’t care. Didn’t care about Sirius. Or Evan. Or Barty. Didn’t care about the kiss.

 

Because James was still standing there. Staring at him. Looking like he had no idea what to say.

 

James, who had the audacity to exhale sharply, drag a hand down his face, and try to redirect the conversation.

 

“Can we—can you at least start by telling us where you’ve been for the last few hours?”

 

Regulus’s blood boiled.

 

He can’t be serious.

 

“Oh, don’t you dare try to change the subject,” Regulus said bitterly.

 

James’s jaw twitched. 

 

Good.

 

“I’ll explain everything when we’re back at the camp.” Regulus continued, crossing his arms. “But you? You explain yourself. Right now. What the fuck did you mean by that?”

 

James opened his mouth to speak.

 

Nothing.

 

He’s not answering.

 

He’s not answering. 

 

He’s not answering. 

 

Well, Regulus thought, I’ll just do it my way then.

 

He took a step toward Evan, faster than light, faster than anyone could understand what his real intention was—took the knife from Evan’s hands—

 

And pressed it against James’s chest.

 

Right above his heart.

 

Gasps filled the air.

 

James didn’t move. Didn’t flinch. Didn’t even spare a glance at the knife pointed at his heart. 

 

He just kept looking at Regulus

 

Blue against blue.

Ice against ice.

 

Regulus’s jaw was tight—the grip on his hand firm. But his hands? Shaking.

 

Like his own body was against what he was doing. Like it was screaming—you’d never hurt him.

 

But he didn’t move the knife. He couldn’t.

 

Because Regulus had seen James. Had seen him and James together in his mind.

 

And they were real. They were so fucking real.

 

The snow covered streets, the soft hum of the engine, the cold windows of the car beneath Regulus’s fingers. 

 

The laughter, the love. 

 

It was real.

 

Get the fuck away from my boyfriend. 

 

How did James know this?

 

Get the fuck away.

 

How did he remember?

 

From my boyfriend.

 

Had he been lying? To him? To everyone?

 

My boyfriend.

 

Regulus pressed the knife just a bit closer.

 

“Why the fuck did I see—”

 

The words caught inside his throat. He couldn’t get them out. He couldn’t say them.

 

James took a careful breath, his eyes getting hopeful. “What did you see?”

 

Regulus wavered.

 

Evan’s voice cut through his thoughts, clear with panic. “Reg, put the knife down.”

 

Regulus barely heard him.

 

“No.” His voice cracked. “I saw him, Ev.” The words ripped out of him, raw and desperate. “Fuck.”

 

The others were all staring at him, their faces twisted in shock, in fear. No one dared to move, afraid he’d do something he’d probably regret later.

 

Sirius took a careful step forward, cautious, his hands raised. 

 

“Reg, you need to calm down.”

 

Regulus’s head snapped toward him so fast it hurt.

 

“No!” he yelled.

 

They didn’t understand.

 

They didn’t.

 

“Don’t you guys get it?”

 

His free hand shot to his temple, fingers digging into his skin like he could rip the memory out and show it as proof.

 

“I saw him,” he choked out. “I saw him in my head, Sirius. We knew each other. And he knows.”

 

His eyes shot back to James. 

 

“He knows.”

 

He pressed the knife just a bit harder.

 

“He’s been lying. To me. To you. To everyone. From the start. He remembers everything.”

 

James just kept looking at him. And looking. And looking. 

 

“I haven’t been lying, ” James’s voice cracked. “I swear, I haven’t.”

 

Regulus shook his head.

 

“Then how do you remember something you shouldn’t have?”

 

How do you remember?

 

My boyfriend.

 

Get the fuck away from my boyfriend.

 

“Did they send you here because we knew each other? ” Regulus was breathing so fast the words almost couldn’t come out of his mouth. “Because they knew you were my fucking weakness?”

 

Regulus wasn’t even thinking anymore about the things he was saying. They didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t care. He just wanted to understand. To know.

 

“I don’t know why I’m here. I don’t.” His fingers moved slightly. “Fuck. I don’t remember anything else, alright?” 

 

His chest rose and fell fast.

 

“Just you. Us. We were together.”

 

Regulus felt like his brain had just exploded. 

 

We were together.

 

Together.

 

They were together.

 

“I swear, Regulus.”

 

My boyfriend.

 

Us. 

 

We were together.

 

Regulus’s grip faltered.

 

Just for a second. A split second. Barely enough to notice.

 

But James did.

 

“I tried giving you hints, alright?” James continued, voice panicking. “Like the song. To see if it triggered something in your head.”

 

Regulus widened his eyes a bit.

 

I know you know all the lyrics.

 

That stupid, ridiculous song that had made him cry without knowing why.

 

That’s literally your fault.

 

“And it did and I—I started getting hopeful for a bit but then—then I realized that that was it. You weren’t going to remember anything else.” James looked down for half a second, breathing hard, before meeting Regulus’s eyes again. “So I just… kept it to myself.”

 

We were together.

 

Us.

 

James exhaled, his voice quiet now. “I remembered you, Reg. From the moment I saw you that first day,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I remembered everything. Not just your name. Everything about us. Everything they tried to erase.”

 

James’s blue eyes went glassy.

 

“They couldn’t.” His jaw clenched, his breath shaky. “They couldn’t.”

 

Regulus’s head was spinning. Too many things. Too many feelings. 

Was this another hallucination? Was he still in the chamber? Maybe it was a nightmare. It had to be.

 

His grip on the knife had now loosened almost completely. His body and his mind were acting like two completely separate entities.

 

Sirius took the chance immediately.

 

He stepped forward as if he were approaching something fragile, like a wounded animal—and held out his hand.

 

Regulus didn’t look at him. Couldn’t. His eyes couldn’t waver from James’s.

 

Slowly, fingers curled gently around his wrist.

 

Regulus didn’t resist. Didn’t stop when, slowly, carefully, Sirius removed the knife from his fingers.

 

Regulus didn’t care. About the knife, Sirius’s fingers. His mind wasn’t registering anything other than—

 

James. 

 

James.

 

They were together.

 

Boyfriend. Get the fuck away from my boyfriend. 

 

“What the fuck just happened?”

 

Evan’s voice sliced through the silence.

 

His wide eyes flickered between Regulus and James, between Sirius and the knife he now held.

 

The words seemed to snap something in Regulus.

 

Reality came crashing down on him. He blinked a bit, immediately stepping away from James. He finally looked at the others.

 

They were all looking at him.

 

Disbelieving, shocked, afraid. 

 

Regulus hated it.

 

How exposed he felt. How all the people at presence had seen him so raw, so naked. He had completely laid bare all the emotions he had tried so hard to hide inside that maze. Emotions, weaknesses, call them what you want. All of this for a boy.

 

You’re a fool, Regulus.

 

He couldn’t do this.

 

Not here.

 

Not now.

 

So he did the only thing he could do.

 

“It’s getting late.” he said, his voice shaking a bit. “The others must be worried.”

 

He turned on his heel and started waking toward the camp. He didn’t even care if he was going the right way, or if the others were following him. 

 

He needed to get away. From the high walls of the maze, from the others, and especially from the words that he couldn’t get out of his head.

 

We were together.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

No one really spoke on their way back.

 

They were too tired, too hungry, too hung up in their thoughts to start a conversation. The events of the last few hours had taken a toll on all of them—for different reasons.

 

Regulus was walking at the very front, his steps quick. He wanted to get to the camp as quickly as possible despite his body clearly showing signs of exhaustion.

 

James was right behind him with his hands shoved into his pockets. His eyes never left the ground, his brows were furrowed with concentration. Every now and then, his gaze flicked toward Regulus as if he wanted to say something. He neved did say something. He had said enough.

 

Sirius was walking beside James, his eyes firmly on Regulus. He followed every single step, movement or action his body was doing. Every time he turned, every time he stopped. He wasn’t going to lose sight of him again. He wasn’t.

 

Behind them, Evan and Barty walked side by side.

 

Well—Evan walked.

 

Barty, on the other hand, still looked like he was having a full-blown existential crisis.

 

His head was down, staring at his boots while he was walking. Every few minutes, he muttered something incomprehensible under his breath, only to shake his head after.

 

Evan, after watching this for a solid ten minutes, finally sighed.

 

“Okay,” he whispered, glancing over. “You need to calm down, mate.”

 

Barty let out a very hysterical sounding laugh. “Oh yeah? Do I? That’s great advice Ev, thanks.”

 

Evan rolled his eyes. “Look, I know it’s been a shit day, but—”

 

“A shit day?” Barty hissed. “Evan. I kissed him. And then I found out he has a boyfriend. I don’t think you understand how deeply, deeply fucked this entire situation is.”

 

Evan winced. “Well, technically, Reg doesn’t remember so they’re not-“

 

Barty shot him a glare.

 

“Okay, fair.” Evan said as he raised his hands in surrender.

 

Barty just sighed. His eyes snapped toward Regulus. Then James. Then Regulus. Then—

 

 “I’m sorry, for what is worth. I know it sucks.” Evan said hesitatingly. “Liking someone who doesn’t like you back.”

 

Barty frowned, turning his head toward him fast. 

 

His eyes narrowed. 

 

“And how would you know?”

 

Shit.

 

Evan almost tripped on a small rock on the ground, but Barty caught him fast enough. His pulse jumped.

 

“Oh, I mean—” Evan said quickly, his voice suddenly ten decibels higher. “Just a guess—you know? It must be shit.”

 

Barty looked at him for a moment longer, before finally turning his gaze on the ground. He didn’t have the strength to look at Regulus and James any longer.

 

Evan hesitated, then nudged his shoulder lightly. “But I’m here if you need to talk. You know. About… all of it. And I’m sure Dora and Dorcas will listen to you too.”

 

Barty exhaled slowly, rubbing a hand over his face. He turned to look at him again. 

 

A small smile spread across his lips.

 

Evan loved seeing him smile.

 

Barty nudged him back, just slightly.

 

“…Yeah,” he muttered. “I know.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

“Fucking finally!”

 

Pandora lunged herself toward them the second they made it back to camp. Her eyes were wide with worry.“Do you know what time it is?! It’s basically night now! We thought you guys got lost too!”

Her screams must have been loud enough for everyone to hear since Dorcas suddenly burst out of one of the tents. 

“Regulus, where the fuck were you?!” she said as she was holding a blanket to take outside, probably for Marlene, Regulus thought.

 

Marlene was still unconscious near the fire. She was wrapped in layers of blankets, her face pale, her body still shaking. Nothing had changed in a day. Regulus didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing.

 

Lily sat beside her, quietly adjusting the blankets with precise, practiced movements. 

 

“Seriously, what the hell happened?” Dorcas continued. She was standing right in front of him now. “Do you have any idea how worried we were? All of us?”

 

Regulus scoffed. “Well, I’m here now. Am I?” he said as he walked toward the fire. “Can I fucking eat or drink before you all start fucking interrogating me?” 

 

“Regulus.” Dorcas muttered.

 

Regulus turned fast. His eyes were on fire. His mind was still processing every single thing that had happened to him that day. And he was tired. His body was. His mind too. He just wanted to rest for five fucking minutes. 

 

Sirius stepped forward, gently grabbing Dorcas’s arm. “Let him rest a bit, yeah? He’s been through a lot.” 

 

Dorcas didn’t waver. “A lot what? What happened?” her voice cracked a bit. “Did someone hurt you?”

 

Regulus knew she meant physically. That didn’t stop him from instinctively moving his eyes first to James, then to Barty.

 

Dorcas noticed. Pandora too.

 

Everyone did.

 

Dorcas furrowed her brows. Something wasn’t right. “What the hell happened?” she asked, her voice raising suddenly.

 

Every gaze in the camp was locked on them now.

 

Regulus didn’t know what to say. James’s eyes were locked toward the ground. And Barty just— 

 

“I’m going to bed,” he said as he started walking toward one of the tents around the fire. 

 

He didn’t even spare a single last glance to anyone before disappearing inside one of the tents.

 

Regulus tightened his jaw. He had been so caught up in the things that had happened between him and James that it hadn’t even crossed his mind on how hurt Barty must’ve felt.

 

His heart broke a bit. 

 

Peter, who had been silently but attentively watching the scene from afar with Remus, furrowed his brows as he looked at the tent where Barty had just disappeared into. “What the fuck is up with him?”

 

Sirius laughed a bit as he stepped toward the firepit to finally eat something after an entire day.

 

“Oh, mate,” he said, glancing toward Regulus and James.

 

“Where do we even start?”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Barty wanted to die. 

 

He was debating whether to make it a slow, painful death or a quick, one-shot like death. Climbing the walls of the maze seemed a clever option—he’d climb with the help of the vines, reach the top, and jump off. Or maybe he could simply run inside the maze with no petals, lose himself and die of starvation. 

Good options, good options.

 

Barty ran a hand over his face, exhaling sharply. “This is a fucking a nightmare,” he murmured. He was lying on his back against the hard ground of the tent, looking up at the fabric of it. His mind was spinning in a million different directions. 

 

God.

 

What a fucking disaster.

 

The tent flap rustled.

 

Barty didn’t move. Didn’t acknowledge it. Maybe if he ignored it, whoever it was would get the hint and fuck off.

 

No such luck, apparently.

 

“Are you attempting to kill yourself?”

 

Barty exhaled through his nose.

 

“Still in the planning part.”

 

“Jesus, Barts,” Dorcas said, stepping into the tent with a soft laugh. She flopped down next to him, stretching her legs out like she planned to stay for the rest of his misery.

 

Pandora followed just seconds after. “I bet he thought about climbing the walls,” she laughed as she positioned herself near Dorcas.

 

“You guys know, then?” Barty muttered, even though he already knew the answer.

 

“Sirius and Evan gave a very detailed version to everyone,” Pandora confirmed.

 

Barty groaned, dragging his hands down his face. “Of course they did.”

 

Dorcas nudged him lightly with her knee. “So?” she prompted. “How are you feeling?”

 

Barty didn’t answer right away.

 

Because how the fuck was he supposed to explain this?

 

He had spent weeks liking Regulus.

 

Had spent hours thinking he was dead.

 

And in the moment when he finally had him back—when the relief had overwhelmed him to the point of acting like a complete reckless idiot—

 

He had kissed him.

 

And Regulus hadn’t kissed him back.

 

Because.

 

Because fucking James.

 

Barty exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “Like shit.”

 

Pandora gave him a soft, knowing look. She gently started combing his hair with her hands. “I’m sorry, Barts.”

 

“For what?” He laughed. “For kissing someone who clearly doesn’t feel the same? For the humiliation of him not kissing me back? Or for the fact that I had to find out like that—that he has a fucking boyfriend?”

 

Dorcas sighed as she traced patterns into the tent fabric with her fingers. “Mostly for the last one,” she said. “That was brutal.”

 

Barty dragged his hands over his entire face and let out a frustrated scream. “I want to die.”

 

Pandora stilled her movements on his hair for a second. She moved her hand down to his face, cupped his cheeks and then squeezed them hard. 

 

“Ouch, Dora!” Barty yelled, though his voice was muffled by his squeezed cheeks. 

 

Dorcas laughed loudly.

 

Pandora kept her hands right there. “Listen to me, idiot,” she said firmly. “This isn’t the end of the world. You’re not going to beat yourself up for this.”

 

“Yeah, well, forgive me for not being able to see the bright side right now.”

 

Dorcas tilted her head. “You really do like him, huh?”

 

Barty shut his eyes.

 

He didn’t even have to think about it.

 

“Yes.” The word felt like poison in his mouth. He sighed and lowered his voice a bit, “I think I’m in love with him,” he admitted.

 

Dorcas and Pandora exchanged a look before bursting into laughter. “You’re not in love with Reg, Barty,” Dorcas exclaimed as she wiped tears of laughter from her cheeks. 

 

“I am!” he yelled offended, crossing his arms. 

 

Pandora laughed briefly, placing her hands  in his hair again as she started combing them again. “Sure you are babe.” 

 

A moment of silence followed. 

 

But then Dorcas snorted, shaking her head. “I cannot believe Reg pulled a knife on James the second he realized he’d been lying.”

 

Pandora sighed. “That’s such a Regulus thing to do.”

 

Barty groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

 

“I mean, I’m just saying”—Pandora continued, lowering her voice a bit—“it’s also kind of romantic, isn’t it?”

 

Barty blinked.

 

Dorcas blinked.

 

Pandora shrugged, smiling a little. “That James remembered him. Only him and their story. You have to admit, it’s kind of a love story.”

 

“Right,” Barty scoffed. “A love story. Where James keeps the memories of their relationship, Regulus forgets everything, and I look like a complete moron.” He exhaled sharply. “Yeah, so romantic.”

 

Dorcas arched a brow. “You are aware of who you like, right?”

 

Barty scowled.

 

Unfortunately, I do.

 

“Reg,” she reminded, like he didn’t already know. “You really thought falling for him wasn’t going to come with a little trauma?”

 

Pandora nodded solemnly. “It’s very on brand for you, honestly.”

 

Barty dropped his arm, staring up at them. “I hope the both of you choke.”

 

Dorcas smirked. “Noted.”

 

Pandora just grinned, resting her chin on her hand. “Honesty it makes sense that they were together,” she sighed, “Regulus has been acting weird ever since James got here. It explains a lot of things.”

 

Barty gulped. 

 

Pandora was right. He knew she was. He had been the first to notice, the first to directly ask Regulus about his weird obsession with James. And his gut told him from the first day that there was more to it, but he just refused to listen. 

 

“I noticed from the first day,” he said, quiet. “How Regulus looked at him.” He laughed under his breath. “He’s never looked at me that way. Never.”

 

Dorcas and Pandora exchanged another look. They weren’t laughing anymore, or smirking, or making jokes. The expressions on their faces conveyed only one single thing now: pity.

 

Pandora hesitated. Then, after a long beat, she reached for his hand, squeezing lightly.

 

“We’re still here, Barty,” she murmured. “I’m still here.”

 

Dorcas nudged his leg with her foot. “Yeah. And Reg too. He loves you, you know? Not in the way you want him to, but he cares about you.” She smiled softly. “Don’t lose him just because of this.”

 

Barty huffed out a breath, something like a laugh but not quite.

 

He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to look at Regulus in the eyes after today.

 

The tent flap suddenly tore open. The three of them turned their heads toward the entrance of the tent and saw Evan’s face peeking in.

 

“Not to interrupt,” Evan said, voice clipped. “But Reg is finally ready to tell us what the fuck happened to him.”

 

Dorcas and Pandora immediately stood up. “He’s done being a stubborn asshole?” Dorcas muttered with a hint of sharpness. “Good to know.”

 

Barty remained in the same exact position. He wasn’t standing up. He wasn’t coming out of that stupid tent. He wasn’t.

 

Dorcas nudged his leg with her foot. “C’mon. Stand up.”

 

Barty inhaled deeply, his gaze flicking up to the ceiling of the tents as if it might miraculously collapse in his head and kill him. “Can’t I stay here?”

 

Evan scoffed. “Oh my god, Barty. You’ll get over it. Stop sulking and come out. You haven’t even eaten yet.”

 

Barty scowled. “Fuck you I’m not sulking.”

 

Evan arched a single eyebrow. “So you weren’t planning your immediate death in this tent just ten minutes ago?”

 

Barty groaned.

 

Fucking Evan. Why did he have to know him so well?

 

He pushed himself up reluctantly, cracking his back and neck. “Let’s just get this over with.”

 

Evan smirked, turning on his heel and slipping back outside with Dorcas and Pandora. 

 

Barty finally stood up. He hesitated for a second, his hand stilling on the flap of the tent.

 

But—fuck it.

 

He ran a hand through his hair, squared his shoulders, and stepped outside.

 

The air outside was cold, the usual chill of the night never truly leaving them alone. He hugged himself a bit, trying to pass some warmth into his body. The others were all gathered around the firepit, some murmuring, some eating. 

 

“Here, Barts!” Pandora said cheerfully as she raised her hand. She had left an empty spot beside her for him. 

 

Everyone’s attention turned to him. 

 

Barty debated whether to sit with them or actually start climbing the walls of the maze. He huffed and started walking toward Pandora without meeting anyone’s gaze. The embarrassment was too much. 

 

He sat down between Pandora and Dorcas, who had prepared something to eat for him. Barty wasn’t sure he deserved the amount of care they had for him. As he started eating, he felt eyes watching him. Not just random eyes.

 

Eyes he’d recognize everywhere.

 

Eyes that would never be his. 

 

He lifted his gaze and met Regulus’s. 

 

Barty felt his heart crack a bit. He quickly turned his gaze away, focusing it on the food he’d been eating. 

 

He wasn’t ready. He wasn’t. He probably never would be. 

 

Regulus coughed loudly, drawing everyone’s attention back to him. “Alright,” he said, tone leaving zero room for argument. “Listen carefully.”

 

He looked at each one of them once before speaking again.

 

“Because I’m only explaining this once.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

 

“You got lost because you followed a fucking butterfly?!”

 

Sirius’s yells echoed through the entire maze. His mouth was wide open in pure disbelief. He couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe that the smartest person in that camp had lost himself because he followed a goddamn insect. 

 

Regulus’s gaze was firm. “That’s literally what I just said, Sirius.”

 

“Please, please tell me you’re joking,” Sirius continued, the frustration getting sharper and sharper.

 

“I’m not joking,” Regulus deadpanned.

 

Dorcas threw a small piece of bread at his head. “Then you’re just fucking stupid, Regulus,” she said. Regulus narrowed his eyes and removed the piece of bread from his curls. 

 

“Why would you follow anything inside this stupid maze?” she continued, frustrated. 

 

Regulus scowled. “I didn’t just follow it, Dorcas. I’m not stupid,” he said bitterly. “It… spoke to me. Told me to follow it.”

 

That silenced them all.

 

Regulus felt James’s eyes studying him sharply, his close body shifting slightly against his. The others were watching him too. The people who were eating stopped immediately. 

 

Mary broke the silence first. “Jesus Christ, that hit to the head was bad, Regulus,” she said, chewing another bite of stew. “Lils, can you check his head again? He’s not doing well.”

 

Was he supposed to laugh?

 

“It wasn’t my fucking head,” Regulus spat. “I know it sounds insane, alright?” he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “But it led me to something important.”

 

Dorcas raised a skeptical eyebrow. “What? An exit that actually fucking opens?”

 

Regulus exhaled through his nose, patience thinning. 

 

”No. A room.”

 

The silence from before had now turned into confusion. Everyone looked at each other with furrowed brows.

 

Pandora, who had been idly twirling a strand of hair around her finger, perked up, tilting her head. “A…room?”

 

Regulus nodded. “I’ll spare you the details, but yes—I found these inside it.”

 

His hand slipped into the pocket of his jacket, fingers curling around the two small vials. The blue liquid inside it shimmered as the glass met the faint light of the firepit.

 

“I think the maze wanted me to find them. Or—the butterfly? I don’t know.”

 

Dorcas sat up straighter, her dark eyes narrowing. “The maze wanted you to find them?” she repeated, voice edged with skepticism. “What the hell does that mean?”

 

Regulus turned the vials over in his hand, watching the way the liquid moved, “I don’t know,” he admitted. “But I think they might help people who get infected by Dementors.”

 

Slowly, as one, every gaze around the firepit drifted toward Marlene.

 

She was lying on the ground right near the fire. Her skin was still pale and cold. The skin in her arm still a deep black—a sign of Frank’s attack. She was still shivering despite the blankets and Lily pressing hot cloths to her forehead. One thing was obvious to everyone: she wasn’t getting any better. 

 

Dorcas inhaled sharply. “Or maybe it’ll kill her. We don’t fucking know what that is, Regulus.”

 

Regulus was about to fire back a retort, but James’s sharp voice was faster. 

 

“She’s going to become like Frank if we do nothing,” he said, his jaw tight. He hadn’t spoken ever since they had gotten back from the search of Regulus. 

 

Everyone flinched. 

 

The air was suddenly way thicker than before. 

 

“Don’t look at me like that,” James said as he watched every single pair of eyes scrutinize him. “You guys don’t wanna say it? Then I will. It’s our only chance.”

 

No one said anything back. Deep down, they knew he was right. They knew Marlene was getting worse. And they had no idea how to stop it. 

 

Evan crossed his arms, frowning. “So what, we just guess? Hope it doesn’t kill her?”

 

Peter gulped audibly. “We don’t even know what that is. It could be poison. It could—“

 

“Or it could be a cure.” Regulus interrupted him. His mind flew back to the chamber, to its gentle chill, to the butterfly. Nothing had felt like a threat. He obviously couldn’t be sure, but it’d make no sense that he had gone through all of that just to find something that could harm them.

 

Lily, who had been crouched beside Marlene, finally looked up. Her green eyes locked onto the vials in Regulus’s hands. “If there’s even the slightest chance that this could save her,” she said quietly, “we have to try.”

 

Dorcas let out a slow exhale and locked her eyes with Regulus. “Fuck it,” she muttered. “You found it. You make the call.”

 

Great, Regulus thought, exactly what I hate doing. 

 

His grip on the vials tightened.

 

He looked down at Marlene.

 

If it weren’t for the shallow movement of her chest rising and falling, Regulus would have thought she was dead.

 

His heart started beating faster. His palms were a bit sweaty, the glass of the vials getting a bit damp. 

 

He hated this. Hated making decisions. But Lily was right—if there was even one chance to save her then…

 

“We’re giving it to her,” Regulus said, steady and firm. A decision, not a debate.

 

He sank down beside her, the small glass vial balanced carefully between his fingers. “Someone help me sit her up.”

 

Sirius and Dorcas were by his side in an instant. They gently pushed Marlene’s unresponsive body to a sitting position. Her head lolled limply. 

 

Regulus opened one of the vials. His eyes landed to Marlene’s blue lips. 

 

I have to do it. 

 

I have to. 

 

“Fuck it,” he murmured as he tipped the vial against her lips.

 

The liquid disappeared immediately. The small sound of Marlene swallowing filled the entire camp. 

 

Silence.

 

Regulus attentively studied Marlene’s face, her body. He looked for any sign of change—a small blush of cheeks, the blue from her lips disappearing, her breathing steading.

 

Nothing.

 

Why isn’t it working?

 

“Well?” Peter finally asked, voice filled with impatience. “Did it work?”

 

Regulus clenched his jaw.

 

I don’t know. 

 

I don’t know. 

 

Lily pressed the back of her hand to Marlene’s forehead. It was still cold. “She’s the same,” she said as a resigned sigh left her lips.

 

A heavy, quiet wave of disappointment settled over the group.

 

No one said it, but Regulus felt it—the slow drop of hope, the unspoken thought curling at the edges of their expressions.

 

Maybe this had been a mistake.

 

Maybe he had made a mistake.

 

“So that’s it? It did nothing?” Evan asked frustrated.

 

Mary shifted uncomfortably, arms crossed. “Maybe it’s just taking a while?”

 

Regulus didn’t answer. His eyes were still franatically studying Marlene.

 

I don’t know.

 

I don’t know. 

 

Sirius, still supporting Marlene, ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Alright,” he said. “We’ll take turns tonight to check on her. No one ever leaves her alone. We check her temperature and her pulse every thirty minutes. If anything changes, we wake everyone up. Any changes—whether it’s good or—“ his voice caught up in his throat.

 

Everyone around the firepit nodded in agreement, despite the thought of something happening to Marlene twisting their stomachs in fear.

 

Dorcas gently caressed Marlene’s face, “Please, wake up,” she whispered. “Please.”

 

Regulus swallowed. 

 

He stood up and moved to his old spot near the firepit beside James, who definitely looked calmer than him. 

 

Regulus briefly moved his gaze toward the stars above their heads. 

 

Breathe. 

 

One-two-three.

 

It’s going to be fine. 

 

Breathe. 

 

One-two-three.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

They finished the last scraps of food in silence. The worry that was filling their bodies was too overwhelming to even start a conversation. Sometimes, they’d throw a glance at Marlene to see if anything in her appearance had changed. 

 

But other than that, they remained still and silent. 

 

Regulus was too afraid to meet anyone’s eyes. His hands were shaking, the bread between his hands unsteady. Thoughts were spiraling in his mind.

 

What if he had poisoned Marlene?

 

What if his decision had just killed her?

 

What if—

 

“Listen.” Sirius’s loud voice interrupted his over working brain. Regulus hesitantly turned his head to look at him. 

 

“I know it’s all still fresh and raw and whatever,” Sirius continued, gaze flickering between Regulus and James, “but we need to talk about what happened between you two earlier.”

 

Regulus stiffened immediately. 

 

Absolutely fucking no. 

 

“I think I’m going back to bed,” Barty said as he stood up abruptly from the firepit. “Long day and all.”

 

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Jesus, sit back down. I’ll leave you out of the conversation, alright?”

 

Barty clenched his jaw. A small blush was forming on his cheeks. He remained still for a couple more seconds, but eventually he sat back down in his spot between Pandora and Dorcas.

 

Regulus searched Barty’s eyes with his, but Barty didn’t look back. The realization that he had likely lost his closest friend twisted his stomach in knots.

 

Sirius turned his eyes back on him, determined to continue the conversation. “Reg, you said you… saw James in your head.” His tone softened. “It looked like..like as soon as James said the word ‘boyfriend’ something clicked in your mind.”

 

Everyone turned to look at Regulus with curious, expectant eyes.

 

Stop looking at me.

 

Stop looking at me.

 

The thought of having to explain to them, to James, that the memory he had seen of them in the car made him feel like he used to be in love with James, made his skin crawl. 

 

But that was just a stupid, small detail that no one had to know specifically. So he just decided to… omit it. 

 

Regulus eventually exhaled, rubbing his temple. “When I was in the chamber, I…” he hesitated.

 

No feelings.

 

No feelings. 

 

“I saw some things. I thought I was hallucinating at first but—I guess I wasn’t.”

 

A pause.

 

“I saw James. Me and James.” He gulped. 

 

James started shaking a bit beside him. 

 

“And what were you guys doing?” Mary asked curiously. 

 

Laughing.

 

Singing.

 

Loving. 

 

His hesitation made the others laugh. “Oh my god!” Pandora gasped. “Were you guys—“

 

Regulus’s face went on fire. “That’s not—Pandora—that’s—“ he stuttered. “That’s not what I saw!”

 

The others laughed even more at his embarrassment (Not Barty. He definitely wasn’t laughing.) He noticed a small smirk spreading on James’s lips too. 

 

Perfect.

 

Absolutely fucking perfect.

 

“So it’s true then,” Sirius said, interrupting the laughter and murmurs. “You guys are dating.”

 

Regulus snapped. 

 

“We’re not.”

 

James tightened his jaw hard. “Well,” he said, “we were, whether you like it or not.”

 

After those words, Barty officially stood up. He didn’t spare a glance and rushed himself toward the tents, before disappearing into one of them.

 

The laughter officially disappeared, everyone turning serious again. 

 

Lily tilted her head. She narrowed her eyes a bit as if she was processing every piece of information. “There’s one thing I don’t understand,” she started as she looked at James. “If you remember Regulus and the fact that you two were together then—how come you don’t remember anything else?”

 

Regulus had been secretly thinking about the same thing. James had told him that he didn’t remember anything else but—how was that possible?

 

He fully turned his body to properly look at James.

 

James’s fingers were twitching against his knee. A drop of sweat fell down his face. He looked… nervous. He inhaled and then spoke. “I don’t know. But I already told you guys—he’s the only thing I remember.”

 

How? 

 

How?

 

Dorcas narrowed her eyes, arms crossing over her chest. “So you’re telling us that, out of everything in your past life, the only thing you remember is your relationship with Regulus?”

 

“Well, that’s exactly what I just said, isn’t it?” James spat.

 

Peter let out a low whistle. “That’s kinda pathetic, James.”

 

James shot him a glare. “Shut up Peter.”

 

Regulus was still staring at James. A million thoughts and questions and things to say passed through his mind. 

 

So he just said the thing he felt was more fitting for the entire situation.

 

“You’re an idiot.”

 

James blinked. “What?”

 

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Regulus repeated harshly.

 

James looked almost offended. “Okay, rude”

 

“Oh, shut up,” Regulus snapped. “You should’ve told me.”

 

James laughed. Hard. “Imagine me coming to you and saying ‘Hey Regulus, how are you? I’m great! Also—you probably should know this—do you know that we were fucking dating before this maze? Cool, isn’t it?” He breathed out before adding, “you would’ve punched me in the fucking face.”

 

Sirius snorted. Regulus gave him a look. “I mean,” Sirius laughed. “he’s not wrong.”

 

Regulus clenched his fists. Fine, he’d admit that. He probably would have punched James in the face. And yeah, he probably wouldn’t have believed him either, not without remembering the car memory at least. But still. James should’ve have told him. He should have. It would have explained so many things to Regulus. The care and the protection and the heart flutters and—

 

Fuck. 

 

Evan, who had been watching the entire scene unfold with a pensive expression, finally spoke. “So… now what? Are you guys going to fix—“

 

Yeah no, Regulus thought, I’m definitely not doing this here and now.

 

“I don’t fucking know,” Regulus quickly interrupted him. “But I do know I’m tired, so if you’re all fucking done with the interrogation, I’m going to sleep.”

 

And without another word, he stood up, turned, and walked off, disappearing inside a tent.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus was staring at the ceiling of the tent with his arms crossed beneath his head.

 

His mind kept replaying the events of the day he’d had. Or two days, since he spent one lost in the maze. 

 

Ever since Frank’s transformation, he hadn’t had a single moment of peace. Not even a moment of quiet. People questioning, people confessing, voices in his head. 

 

Too much. Too much.

 

Despite everything, sleep wouldn’t come. His mind wouldn’t stop. And of course, the protagonist of his thoughts was always the same.

 

James.

 

Regulus squeezed his eyes shut. He was furious. James had lied. Had let them all believe he had no memories, had let him believe it. And worst of all, he had hidden something so intimate and… important. 

Liar. Liar. Liar. 

 

For the first time—ever, Regulus didn’t know what to do. In all the days he had spent here in the maze, he had tried to look composed. Like he knew exactly what he was doing and what he was about to do. But now—now he didn’t know how to act. With James, with Barty.

 

What is someone supposed to do when you find out out of nowhere that—that what you thought was a stranger in reality was actually nothing but? 

 

That you actually loved that person in the past?

 

Regulus didn’t know. He didn’t. 

 

Regulus didn’t know—or remember—anything about love. The closest thing to love he had ever encountered was the memory in the car. 

 

Ironic, really.

 

The tent flap suddenly rustled.

 

Regulus was ready to flip off whoever was interrupting his alone time. He pushed his head up a bit and saw—exactly the person he was thinking about.

 

Shit.

 

He gulped and pushed his head back down.

 

“I don’t feel like talking right now,” Regulus murmured.

 

Please get out.

 

Please get out.

 

James, predictably, ignored him.

 

Instead, he slowly entered in the tent. He sat down in one of the corners. Not too close, not too far. He didn’t speak, just kept on looking at him.

 

Regulus clenched his fists.

 

Please get out.

 

Please. 

 

Minutes passed. Maybe more.

 

The words slipped past Regulus’s mouth before he could stop them. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

 

James let out a shaky breath. “I don’t know,” he admitted, voice low but steady. “I’m sorry.”

 

Regulus swallowed. Fuck him. Regulus hated him. Hated every single thing this boy had made him feel ever since he showed up here. 

 

But—but. But Regulus was a boy full of weaknesses. And weak boys do stupid things sometimes.

 

 “The memory I saw of us…”

 

James straightened slightly, watching him. “Yes?”

 

Regulus hesitated. “It was snowing. We were inside a car. You were driving. We were… singing.”

 

James froze.

 

“Did that really happen?” Regulus asked after a long pause.

 

James swallowed. His fingers twitched where they rested on his knee, and for a second, Regulus thought he wouldn’t answer.

 

“Yeah.” James forced a smile. “That happened.”

 

Regulus inhaled sharply.

 

It was real. It was real. 

 

Regulus already knew that. Already felt it. But a confirmation was a confirmation nonetheless.

 

And it was that very confermation that cracked open something inside Regulus.

 

A need. 

 

A need of wanting to know. A need of more. 

 

More more more more.

 

 “Tell me about us.”

 

James blinked, startled. “What?”

 

Regulus shifted to a sitting position so that he could properly look at James. “I don’t remember. So… tell me.”

 

James stared at him for a long moment, lips parting slightly like he wasn’t sure what to say. But then, slowly, he exhaled and nodded.

 

“You love chocolate,” he started, a small smile ghosting over his lips. “The expensive kind. The fancy ones with caramel or sea salt. After an argument I’d always bring you some,” he laughed. “You’d forgave me in seconds.”

 

Chocolate?

 

Regulus frowned. “I don’t remember the taste of chocolate.”

 

James continued. “You hate public affection, but you like holding my hand. Or just… touching me. You loved touching me. Craved it.”

 

Impossible,  Regulus thought, I hate touching people.

 

“You get jealous so easily,” James smirked. “Like, ridiculously jealous. Crazy almost. If someone so much as looked at me for too long, you’d get this little glare, all sharp and cold, but the second I teased you about it, you’d deny it completely.”

 

Another impossible thing.

 

Regulus narrowed his eyes. “I don’t get jealous.”

 

James snorted. “Yeah, that’s exactly what used to happen.”

 

Regulus rolled his eyes. He felt a small smile forcing itself on his lips, but he managed to hold it back.

 

James’s expression softened slightly. “We used to play in the snow together,” he said after a moment. “It was always snowing and cold in the last period of our relationship so we just… tried to make the best of the situation, I guess. And we did. We used to have so much fun.”

 

James’s eyes went glassy. He turned his head up toward the ceiling of the tent, probably to try and fight his tears back down. 

 

Regulus felt a punch on his stomach at the sight. His mind and heart were strangely telling him the same thing: I hate seeing him cry.

 

“I’m sorry,” James sniffed. “We used to laugh so much together Regulus, so much. And I loved you so much, so fucking much, you have no idea.”

 

Regulus’s heart spiked through the roof. Air stopped reaching his lungs. 

 

“And I’m so fucking sorry,” James continued, his voice breaking. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hiding everything. I’m sorry for putting you through all of this. I’m sorry because you don’t love me anymore, and I don’t know how to live with that. I’m sorry.”

 

Regulus was… speechless. Utterly speechless. For the first time, he couldn’t find the words to fire back a retort, to argue, to say—anything. 

 

Nothing. 

 

James had left him with no words to say and an unimaginable amount of emotions in his chest. Regulus didn’t even consider him a weakness anymore. He saw him as a danger. 

 

A danger that made his brain and heart fight between rationality and feelings. 

 

He wanted to push James away. 

He wanted to pull him closer.

 

He wanted to scream at him for keeping secrets.

He wanted to ask him a hundred more questions.

 

James didn’t move. He stayed sitting there, cross-legged on the floor of the tent, trying to calm himself after his breakdown.

 

The anger Regulus had felt toward him was gone. Disappeared at the mere sight of James in pain.

 

“I’m sorry too.” The words felt foreign, stiff on his tongue. He swallowed, forcing himself to continue. “About the knife.”

 

Tough that was not the only thing Regulus was sorry for.

 

James huffed a laugh. “It’s fine,” he said, though there was something complicated in his voice. “Trust me, a knife through my heart wouldn’t hurt as much as you not remembering me does.”

 

Regulus blinked.

 

That. 

 

That was the worst thing to say to a man full of weaknesses.

 

Regulus’s heart started talking before his mind could deny him.

 

“I’m also sorry for—“ Regulus dropped his gaze, staring at the floor of the tent. “For not remembering. For not being the same person you loved. I don’t know how to be that person,” he admitted. “I probably will never be that person again.”

 

James didn’t say anything right away. He just watched him with his sad big blue eyes. 

 

“That’s okay,” James then said.

 

Regulus scoffed, shaking his head. “Is it?”

 

James didn’t hesitate. He nodded, expression steady, sure. “Yeah.”

 

How?

How was this okay?

How was any of this okay?

 

Regulus wanted to remember him. He wanted to remember them. He wanted James to tear his head open and force every lost memory back inside. He wanted to feel what he had felt while watching their memory. He wanted to know—without doubt—that he was someone capable of love.

 

But Regulus didn’t say any of that. 

 

He couldn’t. 

 

He wasn’t brave enough.

 

Instead, he pressed his fingers to his temple, shutting his eyes. “I need to sleep.”

 

James didn’t press. He just nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

 

He pushed himself up slowly, stretching slightly before moving toward the tent flap. 

 

Don’t. 

 

Don’t be weak. 

 

Don’t—

 

“James.”

 

James paused, looking back. His hand was on the tent flap, ready to step outside.

 

Regulus swallowed. His heart was pounding. And pounding. And pounding.

 

“Stay.”

 

James blinked, eyes stunned.

 

Regulus didn’t look at him. He couldn’t. “Just—just for tonight.”

 

James gulped loudly. He hesitated for just a single second. But then, slowly, he nodded, and sat back down right beside him this time.

 

‘I won the first round, it seems’ the heart said to the stubborn mind.

Notes:

About you - The 1975.

Chapter 10: The Second Test

The wind felt colder than usual that night.

 

Sirius hugged himself tighter and drew slightly closer to the still-burning fire, his whole body quivering like a feather. He rubbed his hands together, trying to warm them as much as possible. 

 

He had volunteered to take the first turn of the night shift with Remus. Despite being awake for two entire days, his worry for Marlene far exceeded his exhaustion. 

 

He moved his eyes toward her sleeping form, scanning her body and face for any improvement or…worsening.

 

Her skin was still pale as snow, but her breathing—it appeared to be even.

 

“Am I crazy,” he whispered after several moments. “Or does she look a bit better?”

 

Beside him, Remus moved just an inch closer to Marlene and studied her face.

 

After a long pause, he nodded. 

 

“I think you’re right,” he replied, smiling.

 

Sirius released a long breath, as though he could finally let go of all the frustration, anger, and fear he had felt these past few days. 

 

Finally.

 

A win.

 

After losing Frank, after almost losing Regulus. He could finally breathe. 

 

”Should we wake the others?” Remus murmured. 

 

Sirius thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. “It’s been hell for everyone. They’ll be happy to wake up to good news.” 

 

Remus just hummed a bit. 

 

“You were really worried about Regulus, weren’t you?” he said after a long pause.

 

Sirius stiffened slightly.

 

The question completely caught him off guard. 

 

He hesitated. Thought about brushing it off, laughing loudly, and saying ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ But lying to Remus felt… off. Wrong. So he decided to simply tell the truth. 

 

 “Yeah. I was.”

 

Remus turned to look at him. “You care about him.”

 

Sirius widened his eyes, like he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t. 

 

He gulped loudly before answering. “I mean—it’s not like—like the same type of care I feel about you, or Marls or you know—“ he inhaled before continuing. “I just feel like—I need to protect him.”

 

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Protect him?”

 

“Shit, Moons, I don’t fucking know,” he huffed, frustrated. “It’s fucking with my head. When I saw him the first time here, I just—I felt this anger toward him. And I still don’t know why. But I also feel responsible for him. Like—I need to take care of him,” he laughed. “I’m going fucking insane.”

 

Remus tilted his head. “Maybe you guys knew each other before.” 

 

Sirius stilled, completely paralyzed. “What?” he breathed out.

 

Remus shifted a bit, moving his eyes toward the fire in front of them. “I mean, it wouldn’t be that crazy after what happened with James and Regulus.”

 

The words kept repeating in Sirius’s mind. 

 

Maybe you guys knew each other before. 

 

It wouldn’t be that crazy. 

 

Sirius had never thought about it. The idea of having a past with any of these people had never even crossed his mind. Regulus, more than anyone. But for some strange, absurd reason, the thought didn’t feel unwelcome at all. 

 

He moved his gaze toward the stars above them. He loved stargazing. It brought a sense of comfort and familiarity whenever he felt like the thoughts in his head were getting too overwhelming.

 

“I feel like I definitely knew you before,” Remus said after a long pause.

 

Sirius immediately turned his head from the sky to him.

 

“You do?” Sirius whispered.

 

Remus hummed, a shy smile spreading across his lips. ”Or maybe it’s just what I hope,” he laughed briefly. “I don’t know.”

 

Sirius swallowed.

 

The glow of the fire against Remus’s face made him look even more gorgeous than usual, something Sirius thought was impossible. “What you hope?” he asked. 

 

A small blush formed on Remus’ cheeks. “It’s stupid.”

 

Sirius smiled softly, nudging his knee with his. “Tell me.”

 

Remus hesitated a bit, his eyes now completely focused on the ground. He was tracing small figures on the ground with his fingertips, probably a sign of embarrassment, Sirius thought. 

 

After a long pause, Remus inhaled. Then exhaled. And then he finally spoke. 

 

“I just thought—that since James remembered Regulus—“ his blush deepened, “maybe if we knew each other too, I’ll remember you someday.” He turned his eyes back to Sirius’. “Or at least that’s what I hope for.”

 

Sirius was… speechless. 

 

Which honestly, it was something he’d never thought would happen. But also, it shouldn’t have come to a surprise that Remus had been the one to leave him like that. Simply because Remus had been the only person inside that maze that had made him feel emotions he’d never thought he could feel.

 

They had never actually talked about it, even though it had been clear from day one to everyone that they were closer than anyone else. Lily and Mary had made fun of them multiple times, though none of them had actually asked anything specific. 

 

But in that moment, with one single answer, Remus had cleared everything up in just a single second. 

 

Remus, who was still watching him, expecting him to say or do something. 

 

Sirius smiled and gently lifted a hand to Remus’ cheek. He started stroking it lightly. Remus pressed his cheek closer to the hand, closing his eyes as he relaxed to the touch. 

 

“I hope that too,” Sirius then said, his hand still moving gently. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

For the first time in a month, Regulus didn’t have any nightmares.

 

No voices, no screams, no phrases with hidden meanings. Nothing.

 

Just silence. Peace.

 

He couldn’t believe it. Having a good night’s sleep in the maze had always felt so out of reach that he had simply resigned himself to it.

 

So he decided to let the moment linger a little longer, giving his mind a few more minutes of rest.

 

After a couple of minutes, he inhaled sharply, determined to finally open his eyes and sit up. But he soon realized that he couldn’t move.

 

Something was holding him tightly around the waist.

 

Someone.

 

He wasn’t sure why, but his body refused to move. His mind had completely shut down, and his intrusive thoughts had disappeared. He instinctively pushed his body against the warmth behind him, as if he had done it a million times already. 

 

Regulus’ entire body relaxed.   

 

This, he thought, this is where I belong. 

 

He turned to see who was holding him—though, honestly, his body decided for him. Like a puppet being pulled by invisible strings. Strings pulled by his stupid fucking heart that had a mind of its own. 

 

He angled his body, ready to face that someone and—

 

James. Barely a centimeter from his face. 

 

Shit.

 

His mind and body had been so relaxed from the best sleep he’d had in weeks, that he had completely forgotten the events of the night before. How stupid he’d been. How he had asked James to fuckin sleep with him. 

 

He jerked away as if he had been burned by fire. He pressed a hand against his chest, willing his heartbeat to slow.

 

The sudden movement woke James up. He rubbed one hand over his face, blinking a few times as his eyes adjusted to the morning light. “Good morning,” he said to Regulus, his voice still rough from sleep. 

 

He yawned and stretched a bit. He looked completely clueless about what had just happened. 

 

Meanwhile, Regulus still looked like he was having a fucking existential crisis. “I—“ he started, his mouth open in pure shock. “You were—”

 

He couldn’t even push the words out of his mouth. He felt his cheeks starting to heat up.

 

Embarrassing.

 

James’ face was full of confusion. “What?” 

 

Shit.shit.shit.shit.shit.

 

Regulus exhaled shakily. “You were—shit—hold—holding me?”

 

James’s eyes widened in realization. He sat up quickly. “Oh, sorry,” he muttered. He waved a hand vaguely between them. “Must’ve moved in my sleep. Habit, I guess.”

 

Regulus stared at him.

 

Habit?

 

James blinked, then smiled bitterly.  “We used to do that. Before.”

 

Regulus went still. His heart skipped a beat.

 

Before.

 

Before the maze. Before the lost memories. 

 

When they were—

 

Regulus dropped his gaze toward the blanket they had shared that night. His cheeks were now burning so much that he was sure they were crimson red. 

 

“…Did it—was it bad?” James asked after a while, hesitant. “Me—uh—holding you?”

 

Yes. It was horrible.

Horrific.

Scary. 

Warm. 

Safe.

Familiar.

 

“I don’t know,” Regulus just murmured. 

 

James nodded slowly, as if he understood exactly the inner fight that was going on inside of Regulus.

 

He cleared his throat after a moment, offering a small smile. “I’ll try to keep my hands to myself next time.”

 

Next time?

 

That had been a one-time thing. A slip of consciousness. A small crack in Regulus’ composure. It was never going to happen again. Never. 

 

Regulus rolled his eyes. “There’s not going to be a next time, James.”

 

James grinned, teasing. “Mmh. We’ll see about that.”

 

Regulus gulped. 

 

I guess we will.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

A sharp burst of voices interrupted them.

 

Both of them immediately turned their heads toward the tent’s exit, brows furrowed in confusion.

 

“Guys! Wake up!” they heard someone yell from the camp outside.

 

Regulus stood up in a second, his heart suddenly pounding hard. Something had happened. Most likely something revolving around Marlene.

 

Stay calm.

 

Don’t think of the worst.

 

James opened the tent flap for both of them before stepping out. Regulus followed a second later.

 

As soon as he did, he opened his mouth wide, stunned.

 

Snow.

 

It was snowing.

 

The entire camp was blanketed in white, beautiful snow.

 

But that wasn’t why his shock was so big, no.

 

Right at the center of the camp near the firepit, Marlene stood there laughing with the others, the snow gently covering her blonde hair. Her skin was still pale, but not in an alarming way. Her lips had turned a beautiful pink, and her cheeks were crimson red. Her nose too, but that was probably because of the cold.

 

She looked… alive. Truly alive.

 

“Reg!”

 

Dorcas rushed toward him, happiness showing all over her face. “It worked! The thing you found—it worked!” She started jumping in front of him and shaking his arm. “I love you so much—you have no idea,” she said before kissing his cheek.

 

Regulus flinched. “Don’t ever do that again,” he said sharply, though warmness was secretly spreading all over his body.

 

He had chosen right.

 

He had saved Marlene.

 

Everything he went through while being lost in the maze had been worth it.

 

He wished he could find the butterfly again just to thank her.

 

James nudged his shoulder, a small, proud smile forming on his lips. “Looks like you saved her life.”

 

Regulus let out the greatest exhale of his life. “Yeah,” he said smiling. “I guess I did.”

 

Marlene stepped away from the firepit, stopping right in front of him. Regulus gulped. They stared at each other’s eyes for a couple of seconds before Marlene gently hit his shoulder with a soft punch. “Thank you,” she started. “For saving me. Thank you.”

 

Regulus coughed a bit, slightly embarrassed. He wasn’t really used to people showing gratitude for something he did. “You’re welcome,” he answered, moving his eyes everywhere but to Marlene’s.

 

She smirked right after, probably noticing his embarrassment and ready to tease him for it.

 

But, well. Evan had other plans.

 

“Wait a second,” he said as he stood up from the firepit with a cup of something warm in his hands. His eyes moved frantically between Regulus and James. “Did you two just come out of the same tent?”

 

Regulus’s breath stilled.

 

Shit.

 

Every head in the camp snapped toward them at once.

 

“Oh my God,” Pandora whispered, eyes huge.

 

Mary glanced between them, then snorted. “Well. So much for being angry at the liar.”

 

Shit. Shit. Shit.

 

Regulus felt his face burning. He was blushing. In front of the entire fucking camp. “It’s not what it looks like,” he blurted out.

 

“Are you sure?” Lily raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. “Because it really looks like you two spent the night together.”

 

James, who was still beside him, cleared his throat, a smug smile appearing across his face. “Technically, we did, but—”

 

Regulus immediately snapped his head toward him. “James,” he gritted. 

 

James smirked even more, and opened his mouth to probably say something even worse, but luckily for Regulus, a scream of pure horror interrupted him first.

 

“What the fuck?” Sirius yelled. His eyes and mouth were wide open. “You slept with James?”

 

Not this again.

 

“Oh my God, not like that,” Regulus groaned, dragging a hand down his face. His cheeks were burning.

 

But Sirius didn’t calm. He still kept on looking at Regulus, then James, then Regulus. “I feel like I’m going to throw up,” he announced, but then furrowed his brows in confusion. “Why do I feel like throwing up?”

 

Don’t worry, Regulus thought, you’re not the only one.

 

Dorcas smirked, putting one arm around his shoulders. “Not even half a day after the big betrayal and you’re already dating him again?” she grinned. “You’re such a loser.”

 

Regulus shoved free from her arm, frustrated. “Fuck you, Dorcas. We’re not dating.”

 

Dorcas just lifted a brow. “Then why were you in the same tent?”

 

Regulus opened his mouth—then promptly shut it.

 

Fuck.

 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Marlene suddenly cut in, holding up a hand. She looked between them, her brows furrowing as if she was only just catching up. “What the fuck happened while I was passed out?!”

 

The group erupted into laughter.

 

“Oh, Marls,” Lily said as she wiped a tear from her cheek. “You have no idea.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The laughter and teasing came to an end pretty quickly. 

 

Barty sat near the fire, silently watching the scene from his usual spot, a small bowl of fruit in his hands. He hadn’t touched a single piece. His stomach felt tight.

 

He had been the first to notice Regulus and James coming out of the same tent. One moment, he was happy, smiling widely as soon as he saw Marlene standing and healed. The next, he felt like throwing up.

 

It felt like a knife had sliced his stomach wide open. 

 

And now, hearing everyone laughing, teasing them for their night spent together—it was too much. 

 

Barty was strong, yes. But when it came to Regulus? Not so much. 

 

He threw his bowl on the ground and stormed off the camp. He didn’t spare a glance to anyone. He could hear people calling out his name as he went further and further away, toward the corridors of the maze. 

 

The snow was falling much more harshly now, covering his eyelashes. He couldn’t even see properly. He didn’t know where he was going. But every step he took was a step away from them. And that was good. It brought him peace.

 

Peace that wasn’t meant to last long.

 

Barty heard the sound of boots crunching against the snow behind him. He knew who that was. He didn’t even have to turn away to know it. 

 

“Barty,” Regulus called, the sound of footsteps coming closer and closer. 

 

Barty clenched his jaw.

 

No. 

 

I’m not stopping. 

 

I’m not.

 

“Barty,” Regulus repeated, louder now, more demanding. “Can you stop?”

 

That made Barty walk even faster. 

 

No.

 

Please, I’m not ready. 

 

Go away.

 

But Regulus wasn’t someone that gave up easily, and Barty knew that. He felt a cold hand wrapping around his wrist, stopping him abruptly.

 

Barty ripped his arm free in an instant. He couldn’t bear his touch—not now, maybe not ever again.

 

“What?” Barty yelled, louder than he intended. “What do you want, Regulus?”

 

Regulus watched him with sad eyes. His nose was red from the cold, his black curls completely covered with snow. Even with anger boiling in his blood, Barty still thought he was the most handsome person he’d ever seen.

 

“You ran off,” Regulus said finally, his voice quieter now. “Why?”

 

Barty let out a short, humorless laugh, his breath visible in the cold. “Why?” he repeated, shaking his head. “Are you serious?”

 

Regulus just kept watching him, probably waiting for an answer.

 

“Oh I’m sorry if I didn’t want to hear the details of the great fuck you had with your ex-boyfriend,” Barty spat. “How could I be so inconsiderate.”

 

Regulus narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t fuck him, Barty.”

 

Barty laughed. “Sure you didn’t.”

 

But deep down, he knew Regulus was telling the truth. The anger, the bitter answers—they were all fake. A shield. Because Barty was genuinely about to burst into tears.

 

And Regulus was still watching him with those eyes. 

 

Barty gulped. “I noticed from the very first day, you know? The way you looked at him,” he whispered. “At first, I told myself I was overthinking. That you were only watching him because you didn’t trust him.” He let out a breath, shaking his head slightly. “But then I saw you that morning—when he went missing. And I thought, Wow.”

 

He laughed. 

 

“I’m so fucking stupid.”

 

Regulus said nothing.

 

Because what was there to say?

 

“Fuck, I called you two long-lost lovers after you cried over that stupid song,” Barty continued, the words and the emotions he had kept bottled up inside him spilling out like a broken vase. “Guess I can predict the future now—or past, whatever the fuck does that mean.”

 

The snow kept falling around them.

 

Time continued to pass. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Regulus said after a long pause. “I never wanted to hurt you. You’re my friend, Barty.”

 

Regulus had never looked so vulnerable. So honest. And maybe that was the worst part. 

 

Barty smiled, bitterly. “That’s exactly the problem, isn’t it?” His voice cracked on the last word. 

 

Get it together.

 

Get it together. 

 

Regulus took a step forward, but Barty immediately stepped back.

 

“Don’t,” Barty said, shaking. “Please, Reg. Please—“ he pushed the tears that were forming in his eyes back down. 

 

Please stay away.

 

Please come closer.

 

Regulus’ lips curled downward. “Barty—”

 

“I think I’m in love with you.”

 

He hadn’t meant to say it like that. He hadn’t meant to say it at all. He didn’t even know if it was actually true. But with his heart breaking, his stomach lurching, his body shaking—wasn’t this how someone in love acted after losing the one person they thought they could never lose?

 

“You’re not,” Regulus said firmly, shaking his head repeatedly, probably trying to convince himself more than Barty. 

 

I am. 

 

I am. 

 

“I think I am,” he murmured. “And I think a part of me always knew—knew that you’d never feel the same way. Not the way I want you to.” He closed his eyes for a bit, just to reopen them and look straight at Regulus. “But it’ll pass, Regulus. I’m not blaming you.”

 

Regulus didn’t answer. He just nodded. Which wasn’t really a surprise to Barty. He knew that Regulus wasn’t good with words or—emotions in general. 

 

He knew that. He accepted it. His eyes were talking enough for him. 

 

Barty looked at him for a moment longer, before turning his gaze toward the camp that was now a bit far from where they were. His eyes landed on James. He was sat apart a bit from the others. Barty caught him staring at him and Regulus. 

 

Barty smiled at that. “You know what the funny thing is?” he said, turning his eyes back to Regulus. 

 

Regulus swallowed. “…What?”

 

“That I genuinely hope you find happiness with him again,” Barty said, resigned. “That at least all of this was worth something.” 

 

Barty sighed, dragging a hand down his face. He didn’t know if he was trying to wipe away the snow or the exhaustion of that conversation. “I meant what I said before,” he murmured. “It’ll pass. Eventually. But I need time.”

 

Regulus nodded. “I understand,” he whispered. “But then we’ll be fine, yes?” His voice was a mixture between hope and beg.

 

Barty’s heart broke a bit. “I hope so, Reg,” he said. “I hope so.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

They were just about to turn back to the others when Barty noticed a faint flash of light out of the corner of his eye.

 

He furrowed his brows slightly, turning his head toward the wall of the maze right beside them.

 

“Wait,” he murmured, his feet moving before his mind could catch up.

 

No. No. No. No. No.

 

His heart pounded in his chest.

 

“Shit. Shit. Fuck!” Barty yelled panicked, his voice mixing with the tempest of snow around them.

 

Regulus immediately stepped forward, alarmed. “What? What is it—“ The words caught in his throat. 

 

Barty saw the realization hitting his face too. Regulus went even paler, his eyes turning wide with horror.

 

The red circle painted on the wall was glowing. Not the line inside it. Just the circle.

 

A steady flash of light. Something so small but at the same time ao terrifying. Because they knew. They knew what it meant. 

 

“No,” Barty repeated. “It can’t be. Already?” 

 

Not much time had passed since the first test. Or maybe it had? Too many things had happened since then. Too many distractions. So many that they had completely forgotten about the tests and the runes. 

 

“It’s snowing,” Regulus said, shaking his head. “It’s fucking snowing, Barty. It’s cold. We forgot—shit.” He took a shaking hand through his damp hair. “It’s fucking snowing.”

 

How had they not put the pieces together?

 

They looked at each other one last time before they started running toward the others. Fast. 

 

”Guys! Guys!!” They yelled in unison. 

 

Snow clung to their skin and hair, soaking them. Their faces were burning from the harsh cold. 

 

Regulus felt his heart ready to burst out of chest. He ran as if his life depended on it—but that wasn’t the main reason for his pounding heart.

 

He wasn’t ready for another test. His body was too tired, his mind too. Too many things had happened to him. He had no time to plan, to prepare. 

 

Because he had been too fucking worried thinking about his past relationship that he had no memory of. 

 

Great job, Regulus. 

 

As soon as they stepped into the edge of their camp, James was the first to move, standing up and rushing toward them. His brows knitted together in confusion. “What happened?”

 

Barty barely let him finish the sentence.

 

“The circle,” he gasped, stopping near the fire, his chest heaving. “It’s glowing.” His voice was breathless. “It’s fucking glowing.”

 

The words hit like a hammer.

 

Regulus could see it in their faces—that collective realization. The realization that yes, the second test was about to start. Dementors were coming again. 

 

And none of them were prepared for it.

 

Sirius swallowed hard, but he immediately took the role of the protective leader, immediately getting a knife in his hand. “Like last time?”

 

Barty nodded. “Like last time.”

 

Remus cursed under his breath, dragging a hand through his hair. “Shit. It’s happening again.” 

 

Marlene stood up from the firepit, clicking her tongue and watching the sky upward. Her face got swalled up by snow in seconds. “Shit—they’re really trying to kill me, my goodness,” she laughed. 

 

Everyone turned to look at her. 

 

“What?” she asked. “I’m the one that almost died already, I can laugh about it.”

 

They looked at her for a moment longer, before finally snapping to reality. 

 

There was no time for jokes. There was no time to waste. They needed to get things ready as fast as they could. 

 

The falling snow had fully turned into a tempest. It had become hard to move, to walk. But they didn’t stop. They couldn’t.

 

Dorcas and Pandora started lighting two more fires—or at least tried to. Their hands were shaking, the wind roared too hard, and the snow was blurring their vision. It was hard. 

 

Lily and Remus started knotting together some pieces of cloth, to try and protect the fires. The snow was close to snuffing them out, and the test hadn’t even started yet. They had to do everything to protect them. They knew it was their only hope against the Dementors.

 

Evan, Peter, Mary, and Barty were taking care of the weapons. They didn’t have much besides their usual knives, not that they’d be any help against the deathly shadows. But just having one of them in hand, could maybe bring some sense of confidence into them. 

 

“We need branches,” James started, frustrated. “Knives won’t do shit against it.” 

 

Barty turned toward him, his jaw tight. “Oh I’m sorry,” he spat. “Didn’t know we had an expert on how to kill skeletons with robes.” 

 

“Barty,” Evan said, firm. 

 

But that didn’t stop Barty. He stepped closer to James, their faces now inches apart.

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Marlene said as she stood between them, putting her hands on both of their chests. “We’ll get branches and knives, alright?” 

 

James and Barty stayed still in their position for a moment longer, before finally separating. 

 

Barty turned away immediately, crouching on the ground with the others that were still preparing the weapons. 

But James—

 

James rushed to Regulus. 

 

Because nothing else was important right now. Nothing else. 

 

“You stay near me, alright?” he said urgently.

 

Regulus blinked, startled. “What—”

 

“I’m serious, Regulus,” James cut him off, his voice low but still oddly threatening. “You never leave my side. Never.”

 

Regulus hesitated, caught off guard by the sudden shift in James’s behavior. Ever since he had exposed himself—and their relationship—James seemed to have stopped caring about hiding his emotions. Hartbreak, jealousy, love. Regulus had seen all of them in less than a day. 

 

And now, he could definitely add protectiveness to the list. 

 

Regulus, on the other hand, was still fighting between mind and heart. 

 

He exhaled, forcing himself to meet his gaze. “I don’t need protection. I’m not your boyfriend anymore, James. It seems you keep forgetting.”

 

James’s jaw tightened ever more, but instead of answering, he suddenly opened his jacket and tore a piece of his shirt with his bare hands. Before Regulus could process what was happening, James was already tying it around their wrists, knotting them together.

 

Regulus jerked his arm back, incredulous. “Are you fucking insane?”

 

James didn’t flinch. “ If you won’t promise, then I’ll just have to fucking glue you to me,” he said simply.

 

Regulus stared at him, breath catching.

 

The others kept moving, giving orders. 

 

The wind roared. 

 

And James still had his hand wrapped around his wrist. 

 

He’s nothing to you, Regulus. 

Why would you do what he tells you?

 

You know you want to protect him too, Regulus. 

Keep him close to you.

 

“…Fine,” Regulus whispered in the end. “I’ll stay near you.”

 

James held his gaze for a beat longer, searching his face, before finally nodding. Slowly, he loosened the piece of shirt, untying it—but he didn’t step away. 

 

Instead, he stayed right beside him.

 

He smiled softly. 

 

“Good choice.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

TEST TWO.

 

The voice announced.

 

 TEST TWO INITIATED.

 

The storm of snow was unrelenting. 

 

They barely heard the announcement, the voice muffled by the roaring wind and the swirls of snow covering their ears. They were all huddled together, forming a circle around the fires. Sirius was right at the front, a lit up branch in hand.

 

They had prepared as quickly as possible, doing everything they could. They were as ready as they could be. 

 

And yet—nothing was happening.

 

No shadows. No skeleton. No Dementor.

 

Sirius was the first to break the silence, his voice almost impatient. “Well?”

 

He raised an arm over his head, shielding his eyes from the snow. He started scanning the corridor ahead of them.“Where the fuck are the Dementors?” he screamed, trying to make everyone hear him.

 

Regulus stood rigid beside him, his pulse hammering against his ribs. “ If it doesn’t start soon, the fires will die before they come!” he yelled. 

 

Sirius was about to speak again when, suddenly, the blizzard disappeared. 

 

Out of nowhere, from one second to the other. Like a snap of fingers—magic. 

 

The snow stopped. So did the wind. The group looked at one another with clear confusion. 

 

“Was that all?” Peter asked, his grip on the knife and branch loosening slightly. 

 

Mary snorted. “Well,” she laughed as she started removing the snow from her hair. “That was easy.”

 

But Regulus didn’t move. He kept staying at the front, branch in hand, scanning the corridor ahead of them. Something was wrong. He could feel it. He could. 

 

A loud crack echoed through the camp. 

 

The clear sound of ice breaking. 

 

Regulus snapped his head back to the others. 

 

“Uhm—guys,” Evan said as he looked right beneath him. “Something’s wrong.” 

 

The others darted their gazes down to where he was looking and—shit. Gasps of incredulity filled the air. 

 

Regulus gulped, then slowly, looked down too. His soul left his body as soon as he did. 

 

The solid ground had vanished. Instead, beneath his boots was a vast, black expanse of ice, its darkness a reflection of the water moving inside it.

 

A frozen lake. 

 

They were standing over a frozen lake. 

 

The thought made Regulus’s skin crawl. He hated the water. You could almost say he was afraid of it. The maze was starting to really test Regulus’s mental well being. 

 

Too many weaknesses.

Too many.

 

Another crack split through the air, right beside him. Regulus turned just in time to see James trying to get closer, but failing. 

 

“Shit,” James murmured frustrated. 

 

“Nobody fucking move before we figure out what we need to do.” Remus’s calm but firm voice tried to ground them.

 

They were all immobilized, their arms in the air, trying not to do any sudden moves. 

 

Barty laughed hysterically. “I genuinely hope I don’t die before meeting the psychopath that created this fucking maze.”

 

Lily sushed him quickly. “Wait,” she said, pointing at the corridor in front of them. “There.” 

 

Every head snapped in the direction of her hand.

 

Far in the distance—at the very end of the long corridor—was a small raised shape. It was too far, so they couldn’t really figure out what it was. 

 

“It doesn’t look like it’s made of ice,” Lily continued. “We need to get there.”

 

“And how exactly do you plan on getting there?” Evan said skeptical. “The ice doesn’t really look that thick and comforting, does it?

 

Dorcas clenched her jaw. “Do you see another option, Evan?” she spat.

 

That shut him up immediately.

 

Remus exhaled, shutting his eyes as if he was thinking carefully. “Alright,” he declared. “We skid through the ice. No hard steps. And we move single file. That should work.”

 

The group nodded uncertain. But no one protested. They knew this was their only chance. And they knew they had to pass the tests to escape that nightmare of a maze. 

 

So, slowly, one by one, they started skidding gently through the ice lake. 

 

Because, despite everything, they were still the same brave boys and girls they used to be from the day they woke up here. 

 

But Regulus? He wasn’t feeling very brave at the moment. 

 

The thought of the freezing water beneath his feet was making his breath erratic, his heart pounding hard against his chest. He moved as slowly as he could through the thin layer of ice, determined not to look down.

 

Instead, he looked up, hoping to find the stars to calm himself. But the sky was a huge expanse of white. No clouds, no sun. Nothing.

 

Breathe.

 

In-out.

 

In-in-in-in-

 

A warm hand gently wrapped around his wrist from behind.

 

“I know you’re scared of the water,” James whispered. 

 

Regulus froze. Of course he knew, of course.

 

”I’m here, okay?” James’s voice grounded him. “I’m right here.”

 

In-out.

 

In-out. 

 

In-out.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Their labored breaths and the sharp scrape of their feet skidding across the ice were the only clear sounds inside the maze.

 

Occasionally, they’d also hear some faint cracks that sent shivers down their spines and made their steps freeze for mere seconds. But they never truly stopped moving. Because each step was a step closer to safety. 

 

The raised figure they had seen from the camp was now much clearer—it was a small island, placed right at the end of the first long corridor of the maze, right in the middle of a fork. 

 

As soon as their gazes met the landmass, their steps became more determined, more sure. The island wasn’t far—probably a ten minute walk from where they stood.

 

They were so close. 

 

And honestly? It hadn’t even been that hard. 

 

The first test had been much worse. Much more terrifying. They had battled and fought with everything they had. But this? This was easy.

 

Nothing to fight. No weapons needed, no fire. They just had to keep walking—slowly, carefully, of course. But still, it was just that—walking. 

 

Regulus still wasn’t as calm as the others. His breathing had steadied a bit, thanks to James’s hand still firmly gripping his wrist. James hadn’t let go for a single second. Regulus was secretly grateful. 

 

He still hadn’t looked down at the ice beneath him. He couldn’t. It terrified him. Instead, he kept his eyes fixed on the island in front of them, his feet moving forward like a machine. 

 

One. Two. Three. Four. 

 

”Guys,” Sirius’s voice trembled as he spoke up. “I think there’s something in the water.”

 

Their feet halted, the sudden movement making the ice crack slightly. 

 

One by one, they slowly turned their heads to the water beneath them. 

 

They soon realized that Sirius was indeed right. 

 

There in the water, white skeletal figures were swimming at unnatural speeds. Their white bones were a stark contrast to the the black water. One of them slowed down right beneath Barty’s feet. 

 

”…Fuck me,” Barty whispered, his eyes widening as he took a step back.

 

Regulus kept his eyes ahead. “What it it? What’s down there?” he asked frantically. 

 

“It’s nothing,” James replied, though his voice wavered. “Let’s keep walking guys.” His voice got louder, firmer.

 

Hesitantly, they forced their feet to move, despite the fear that was coiling in their guts. 

 

The faint sound of something moving erratically in the water was now mixing up in the air with the sound of their breathing. 

 

Their feet now moved desperately, some of them completely forgetting about the thinness of the ice. They just wanted to get to safety as soon as possible. 

 

More cracks split through the air. 

 

“Don’t panic,” Lily breathed out. “Remember, we don’t want the ice to break, we don—“

 

She didn’t get to finish. 

 

A loud knocking sound from beneath interrupted her. 

 

Everyone stilled, their eyes widening in shock. 

 

“They’re knocking,” Dorcas yelled. “They’re fucking knocking the ice!”

 

The skeletons were now covering the entire line they were forming. There were so many they couldn’t even count them. 

 

And each one of them was pounding loudly at the ice. 

 

Peter pulled at his hair as he started gasping. “We’re going to die, we’re going to fuck—“

 

A sharp knock broke a hole through the ice. A skeletal hand appeared, grabbing Barty’s leg. “Shit—fuck!” he screamed as he hit the hand with his foot. 

 

The group was now full-on panicking. 

 

Hands kept on appearing, making holes through the thin ice. They tried to push some of them back to the water, but there were too many. Hundreds. 

 

There was nothing else to do but run. Regulus knew that. They had to get to the island as soon as possible. He pushed his fear in the back on his mind, his survival instinct taking over. He took the hand that James had wrapped around his wrist in his. 

He started running. “Go! Move! Now—”

 

The sound of breaking ice filled the air.

 

Regulus lost his balance.

 

And the ice shattered.

Notes:

Back to Black - Amy Winehouse.

Chapter 11: Ice Skin

The black water devoured Evan first. 

 

The bony hand beneath his feet struck the ice with such force that it made an entire block explode in the air, making him fall right into the lake, an eerie splash sound echoing mere moments later.

 

The utter horror that sunk into Barty’s body was like nothing he’d ever felt before

 

“EVAN!”

 

He lunged toward the void where Evan had disappeared into, slamming his knees to the thin ice. A loud crack followed, but he didn’t care. He pushed his arms into the cold water and immediately pulled them back. “Shit!” he gasped.

 

The temperature of the water was unbearable. It burned his skin. Like it could rip it off of his body. He shook his head violently and pushed his hands back into the water. 

 

He didn’t care if he lost his fucking hands. 

 

He needed to get his best friend back. Now. 

 

Barty screamed painfully as his hands trashed into the water frantically, hoping to find Evan’s hair, wrist, arm, anything he could pull. For a second, he thought he’d found Evan’s hand—only to realize that it was actually a bony, skeletal hand. He almost threw up at the contact.

 

The others were screaming, kicking and shoving the skeletons back into the lake, their movements frantic. The ice beneath them kept breaking more and more, creating gaps that became almost impossible to surpass. 

 

Barty’s hands were still moving, searching. Just seconds after, he felt the light feeling of hair beneath his fingers. 

 

Got you.

 

Barty tightened his grip, his own fingers burning from the cold, and started pulling Evan from his hair. But the pressure of the water was making it difficult. “Someone help me!” he choked out. “Evan is in there!”

 

Dorcas and Pandora immediately stopped their fight with the skeletons and rushed forward. “What?!” Dorcas yelled. “Why didn’t you say anything!”

 

They threw themselves into the ice beside him, immediately pushing their hands inside the lake. They gasped loudly at the contact. “What the fuck is this water made of?!” Pandora screamed as her eyes widened in pain. 

 

“What’s going on here?!” Regulus came rushing toward them, their screams alerting him. “Where the fuck is Evan?”

 

None of them said anything. They just kept on screaming, yelling in pain.

 

That was answer enough for Regulus. 

 

Oh lord.

 

Evan was there. Inside the water. 

 

And the worst part? He couldn’t do anything about it. His eyes fixed on the black liquid that was spilling out from the void and he couldn’t move. He couldn’t.

 

His friends were there, desperately trying to get Evan out, and he just stood there, frozen in place from fear, staring at the black water.

 

Coward. 

 

You’re a coward, Regulus.

 

So he did the only thing he could. 

 

“James!” he started yelling. “James! James!!”

 

James immediately turned to him, Regulus’ screams enough to make him halt whatever he was doing. He came rushing toward, his eyes wide with panic. “What is it? Are you hurt?” James said, panicked, scanning his body. 

 

”Help them,” Regulus said desperately. “Evan’s down there!”

 

James turned his gaze toward the others who were still trying to pull Evan out. He rushed forward, hitting his knees onto the ice. While the others were trying to pull him by the hair, James got his hands fearlessly under the water, taking Evan from his arms and effortlessly pulling him back to the surface.

 

“Oh my god oh my god,” Dorcas screamed relieved. Pandora was sobbing beside her.

 

Evan started gasping and spitting black water, but he was breathing. And that was good. 

 

Barty, still panting, shoved his wet hair from his face and took Evan’s face in his hands. “You’re okay,” he whispered. “You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.”

 

Regulus fell right beside him. “Evan, can you hear us?”

 

Evan’s eyes fluttered. He swallowed hard, trying to speak, but only managed a hoarse whisper—

 

“Pulling me—they—they were pulling me down—“

 

A loud explosion cut through the air. They turned just in time to see the entire block of ice from the camp to where they stood completely disintegrating. 

 

“We need to run!” Sirius yelled, as he kicked one of the skeletons back into the lake. He turned his eyes toward Regulus. “Now, Reg!”

 

Regulus nodded frantically. Him and Barty hooked their arms under Evan’s, hauling him upright. 

 

And they ran. Fast. Like their life depended on it—because it did. 

 

The small island ahead was now way closer than before. They could almost see it clearly if it wasn’t for the running and the ice exploding right in front of them.

 

The girls ran at the very front. They were all holding hands, too afraid of losing one another. They were screaming motivational words back to boys behind them, urging them to keep moving. 

 

“Move! Faster! C’mon guys!!” Marlene yelled as she gripped Lily’s hand tight in her.

 

The skeletons beneath them were still lurking, still pounding at the ice, trying to drag them down into the abyss. But that didn’t stop them. It couldn’t.

 

Because they were so close now. So close to safety. And they couldn’t stop. 

 

That was until one bony hand pounded against the ice near Marlene’s foot.

 

And made her leg fall into the water. The girls immediately halted.

 

“No!” Lily screamed, gripping her by the arm, trying to push her back, but failing.

 

“Shit—fuck!” Marlene’s leg was burning. It felt like the water was trying to rip her skin off of her. 

 

“Help us!” Dorcas yelled desperately, turning back to face the boys. 

 

James and Sirius rushed over. They immediately lunged onto the ice; Sirius took Marlene by her arms that were gripping desperately the ice. James pushed himself further onto the ice, grabbing her by the waist. With a single push, they managed to haul her back to solid ground.

 

The girls immediately dropped beside her. 

 

“Are you okay?!”

 

”Shit, Marls you scared the shit out of us!”

 

Marlene gasped loudly, before standing up. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” she said, though she couldn’t really feel her leg. “Let’s keep going!”

 

Regulus was at the very back of the line, still holding Evan tightly with Barty. His eyes were fixed on James, though. 

 

James, who had lunged himself toward Marlene in seconds.

 

James, who was fighting and helping everyone without thinking about it twice. Maybe to regain their trust. Or maybe because that’s just how he was. 

 

James, James. 

 

James who, out of nowhere, slipped right in front of his eyes. 

 

He tripped. And lost his balance. 

 

James tripped. And lost his balance. 

 

He tripped. He lost his balance. He tripped.hetripped.hetripped.hetripped.

 

James’ arms flailed in the air as he reached out for someone. Anyone. But Sirius wasn’t fast enough.

 

Regulus stopped breathing. 

 

And James fell into the water.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The world froze around him. 

 

The sound of voices screaming and the ice splintering faded. 

 

Regulus’s ears were buzzing. 

 

His mind stopped working. His heart was about to burst out of his chest. 

 

The grip he had on Evan loosened completely. He heard Barty shouting at him, but he couldn’t hear. His feet started moving. His eyes stilled on the gaping hole where James had just disappeared into. 

 

Sirius and the girls were looking into the water, hands and arms moving erratically to find James. 

 

Regulus dropped his knees on the ice. His mind was still blurry. He wasn’t thinking. He wasn’t.

 

“Hold me,” he said slowly, to no one specific. And after that, he threw half of his body into the freezing lake. 

 

No hesitation, no second thoughts. 

 

He felt someone gripping him by the waist tightly, careful not to make him fall.

 

Regulus forced his eyes open underwater, keeping his mouth shut to avoid swallowing the black liquid. His eyes immediately locked on James, who was trashing in the abyss, desperately trying to reach the surface.

 

Regulus grabbed James’s hands and pulled.

 

With everything he had.

 

The person who was holding him must’ve realized and started pulling too. And pulling. And pulling. 

 

And both Regulus and James got out of the water. 

 

“Are you fucking crazy?!” Sirius yelled, gasping loudly. He must have been the one who had his grip firm on Regulus. 

 

But Regulus didn’t answer. His hand was still firmly curled around James’ wrist, who was spitting black water, trying to make air flood in his lungs again. 

 

Regulus wouldn’t let go. He wouldn’t. 

 

He hadn’t even realized what he had just done, to be honest. 

 

He had never felt so scared in his entire fucking life. Not that he remembered any of it, obviously. He followed with his eyes every single erratic breath that came out of James’ mouth. 

 

Regulus wanted to give him the air in his lungs if he could. 

 

He wasn’t even trying to stop these embarrassing, unfamiliar thoughts anymore. His mind had shut down. His heart was thinking for him. 

 

Around them, the ice kept breaking. 

 

They couldn’t stop anymore.

 

“Shit—shit!” Sirius swore. “We have to move guys, now!”

 

Regulus hauled James up, slinging one of James’ arms around his own shoulders, while the others started running as fast as they could.

 

“Go.” James coughed out, voice raw and weak. “Regulus—go. I’m fine. Run.”

 

Never.

 

Never. 

 

Regulus tightened his grip around James. He turned to face him. James’ face had turned a sick shade of white, his lips a mix of blue and purple. His wet curls stuck to his forehead.

 

”I’m not leaving you, James,” he simply said, his voice certain. “I’m not.” 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The lake was devouring itself behind them. 

 

Blocks of ice kept exploding in the air, some hitting them and cutting their skin, making it bleed. 

 

Sirius ran at the very front with the girls, pushing them to safety first. He didn’t know what was burning more at the moment—his legs or his lungs. Sometimes, he glanced back at the disintegrating ice, but his legs never stopped. 

 

His eyes automatically landed on Remus, who was running right behind him with Peter. Remus had some small cuts on his face, probably due to the shreds of ice cutting him. 

 

Sirius briefly turned his gaze to Regulus—and James. He swallowed. The terror he had felt when Regulus lunged into the water—it had felt like a knife slicing his stomach open.

 

He turned his gaze ahead, forcing his legs to move faster. The island was there. Right before their eyes. 

 

Safety. Finally. 

 

“Jump!” he yelled as he pushed the girls over the edge of the ice, right at the start of the landmass. Lily, Marlene, and Mary shouted in unison, and flew in the air for a bit before landing safely. Just seconds later, Pandora and Dorcas followed.

 

“Sirius!” Mary yelled back. “Come!” 

 

But Sirius stayed right at the edge of the lake, waiting for everyone. He gave a gentle push to Remus, helping him and Peter reach the solid ground. Evan and Barty were right behind them. “Sirius, help me,” Barty gasped, utterly exhausted. 

 

Barty had been holding Evan up and running for the both of them, since Evan looked completely unconscious despite his eyes being open. Sirius grabbed Evan from the other side and jumped with them onto the island. 

 

“I’m going back to help Reg,” Sirius said, turning back to the ice. But just as he set foot on the frozen lake again, the ice broke.

 

No. No. No. No. 

 

Regulus and James were just about to reach the edge when the ice completely exploded in front of them.

 

Sirius felt his heart stop. “Shit, Regulus!” he tried to reach them, but the void kept getting bigger and bigger. 

 

Regulus had his eyes wide open in fear as he watched the water in front of him. He was still holding James, who looked just as bad as Evan. “What do I do, Sirius?! Sirius!”  he shouted. 

 

Honestly? Sirius was about to throw himself in the water and go get him. He was about to. He stepped back from the edge of the island, ready to run and just—jump. 

 

But thankfully, Marlene’s voice stopped him first. 

 

“Jump, Regulus!” Marlene’s voice was raw, her screams gut-wrenching. “You can do it, I know you’re scared, but do it for yourself, for him!”

 

That seemed to have snapped something inside Regulus. 

 

Sirius watched him as he looked at James one last time before walking a few feet back. He hoisted James onto his back, let out a wild yell, started running, and then—

 

He jumped. 

 

For a few seconds, time froze.

 

They were suspended in the air, right above the black abyss. 

 

Then, the clock ticked again, and James and Regulus hit the hard ground just as the last pieces of ice sank into the water. 

 

Sirius breathed again. 

 

“You’re okay,” he heard Regulus say to James, “We’re okay, James. We’re safe.”

 

Yes. They were. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Their lungs were burning, their legs aching. 

 

They were all sprawled out onto the hard ground of the small island, breathing heavily. The lake around them had completely disappeared. The ice was gone too. The corridor of the maze went back to normal. 

 

It was weird. Things in the maze appeared and disappeared in an instant.

 

It didn’t make any sense. 

 

Sirius was the first to stand, though his legs still hurt with every movement. He walked around the small island, checking if everyone had gotten there safely. “Is everyone alright?” he asked, shaking.

 

Remus and Peter were still sprawled on the ground, but they weakly raised their hands in a thumbs-up. The girls were fine too, luckily. Marlene’s leg looked normal again.

 

Marlene tilted her head over to the sky, laughing maniacally. “You’ll have to try harder to kill me, psychopaths! Second time and I’m still here!” she flipped her middle finger up.

 

Dorcas laughed breathlessly. “Don’t tempt them. Maybe they’ll send some fucking Dementors just to piss us off,” she said as she stood up and moved toward Evan and Barty.

 

“Hey Ev,” she said softly. Evan had his eyes barely opened, his skin white as snow. He didn’t look well. “Are you okay?” Dorcas continued, her voice filled with worry. 

 

Evan managed to mumble. “Alive.”

 

Barty, who hadn’t left his side for a second, laughed softly, brushing Evan’s blonde hair from his forehead. “Lucky us,” he whispered a bit mockingly. 

 

On the other side of the island, Regulus still hadn’t let go of James’s hand.

 

His own hand was shaking worse than James’s, despite his body temperature being at least twenty degrees lower. Regulus’s brain had finally started working again, though the emotions related to James were still overwhelming.

 

The worry. The gut-wrenching fear. 

 

Of losing him. Of losing James. 

 

He couldn’t. He didn’t know why. He just knew that he couldn’t. Like a half-truth, something that was so obvious and at the same time so confusing. 

 

But this wasn’t the right time to think about it. The only thing that mattered to Regulus now was James’s well-being.

 

TEST TWO COMPLETED. 

 

The voice then said. 

 

TEST TWO COMPLETED.

 

Everyone stilled for a second.

 

“God,” Remus muttered, voice hoarse. “I hate that fucking voice.”

 

Lily swallowed, holding the jacket closer to her. Despite the lake being gone, the cold this time hadn’t disappeared. The walls of the maze were still iced over, the ground blanketed in snow again. 

 

“Only one test remains guys,” she whispered. “Only one.”

 

The others looked at one another. 

 

One test. They needed to survive just one more time before this nightmare ended.

 

Despite being exhausted and shaken, their faces were filled with clear determination. 

 

They were getting out. Soon. Together. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The relief lasted five seconds.

 

Out of nowhere, Evan started choking.

 

“Ev? Ev?! What’s going on?!” Barty hauled him up a bit, turning his body onto his side. A few choking sounds escaped Evan’s mouth again, before he violently threw up all over Barty’s jacket.

 

Barty gazed down and saw a dark, deep ink all over himself. He snapped his eyes open.

 

Evan had just thrown up black water all over him. 

 

”Oh my god,” Dorcas whispered as her eyes moved from Evan to the dark liquid. Evan gagged again, retching once more. He was gasping for air, his blue lips now tinted black too.

 

“Evan?” Pandora rushed over. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s okay—Lily!” She was gently rubbing Evan’s back, trying to calm his breathing.

 

Lily sat beside them, scanning Evan’s face and the black ink spilling from his mouth. “I’ve never seen anything like this,” she whispered as she touched his frozen forehead.  “He’s too cold—probably hypothermic. We need to—

 

Another gagging sound interrupted her. But this time, it didn’t come from Evan.

 

”James?” Regulus screamed, looking over James’ convulsing body as he threw up all over the ground of the island. “Shit—James!”

 

Dark liquid poured from James’ mouth, like a waterfall with no ending. 

 

Regulus froze in panic. His mind completely locked up in terror. 

 

James coughed so violently his entire body shook. 

 

“What the fuck is happening to them?!” Peter asked loudly.

 

Lily ran to the other side of the island, kneeling beside James and feeling his temperature. Freezing. They were freezing to death. “Shit, they’re—” She swallowed, looking frantically at everyone. “They’re hypothermic. Both of them. We need to warm them up. Now.”

 

Regulus couldn’t tell if his heart had stopped or was about to burst from his chest.

 

“We need to get back to the camp,” Sirius said as he crouched beside Regulus, shaking him a bit; he had noticed that Regulus was frozen in fear. “Quickly, Reg.”

 

Regulus shook his head, snapping back to reality, and carefully caressed James’ cold face. “James, James, can you stand up?” he whispered. 

 

But instead of answering, James just—passed out. His eyes closed, and his body went completely slack.

 

Regulus almost cried. “No—no—hey—James?James!” He shook him violently. “James!” But he wasn’t moving. He wasn’t waking up. He was still cold, still passed out. And Regulus couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t. 

 

“We need to fucking go, now,” Remus said as he started heading toward the edge of the island, carefully putting one foot on the snowy ground of the maze, where the ice had now disappeared. “Let’s go.”

 

Barty nodded, hooking an arm under Evan’s legs and lifted him off the ground, holding him tightly. 

 

Evan made a small, strangled sound. “Barty—” Evan gasped. “Why the hell—” His voice was thin, barely there. “Why are you holding me like a princess?”

 

Barty huffed. “Not the time, Ev.”

 

Evan let out a hoarse, wheezing laugh—but it faded too quickly. His body slackened too.

 

“Evan?”

 

No response.

 

“Shit—shit—“ Barty quickly stepped out of the island and walked in the direction of the camp, followed by Regulus and Sirius, who were holding James together. 

 

Dorcas and Remus stood at the very front, wet knives in hand in case the monsters that had put them there decided to bring some surprises on their way back. 

 

Lily decided to stay back with the others, checking Evan and James’ temperature and—pulse every once in a while. She took one hand to Regulus’ shoulder, squeezing it gently. “You’ve been brave out there,” she said softly as she looked at James. “You saved him.”

 

Regulus kept his eyes locked on James. He wouldn’t calm down. Not until James opened his eyes again. His head throbbed. The way his senses had kept switching in and out all day had left him drained.

 

He didn’t know if it was his subconscious or heart talking in that moment, but what came out of his mouth next was the most certain thing he had ever felt in his life.

 

“If something happens to him,” he looked at the sky, “I’ll kill every single person that created this maze.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Dorcas was the first to slow.

 

Remus next.

 

“…Fuck me,” Remus whispered. 

 

Regulus tore his gaze away from James’ face and looked ahead—where the others were staring.

 

His stomach dropped.

 

No.

 

Their camp was… gone. Absolutely ruined. The lake had swallowed it completely.

 

The firepit in the middle was destroyed, the tents shredded to pieces. Their small, safe laundry and cooking areas—gone. The food and clothes they had found, vanished with them.

 

Their tiny safe space had been ripped away right before their eyes.

 

Sirius stormed inside the camp, absolutely furious. He kicked the last remnants of the firepit in anger. “Fuck—fuck!” he yelled. “It took us weeks to build everything, fucking—fuck!”

 

Mary rushed beside him. “These absolute motherfuckers,” she hissed. 

 

Regulus tightened his grip on James, suddenly feeling way colder than before. They had been so close to warmth and it it just—had been ripped out from them.

 

The girls knelt beside the firepit, looking for anything salvageable, but unfortunately found nothing. Lily found their old bag of flour completely flooded, while Pandora and Dorcas found some meat with mud all over it. 

 

They had nothing. To eat, to drink. No dry blankets, no fire. 

 

Nothing.

 

Barty, still carrying Evan’s limp body, let out a frustrated noise. “Shit—Evan is—” he gasped panicked. “We need to warm him—we need—“ he couldn’t even finish the sentence.

 

Marlene snapped, standing up fast. “We need to go on a search. Now.” Her eyes moved between James and Evan “We need water, wood—anything that can help them.”

 

Peter stiffened. “After a test?” he asked shakily.“I don’t think it’s safe.”

 

Something inside Regulus snapped.

 

Maybe it was the adrenaline still coursing through him from the test. Maybe it was the terror that had gripped him even since James had slipped into the water.

 

But still, as he had already established, the emotions he felt when James was involved were always amplified. 

 

“I don’t give a fuck, Peter.”

 

Everyone turned to him, startled by his tone.

 

“James and Evan need help. Right. Fucking. Now. So I don’t care if you’re scared—you’re going to stand the fuck up and find something to keep them alive.”

 

Now.

 

They need help now.

 

He needs it.

 

Peter’s face twisted, his lips pressing into a thin line. “Why don’t you go, then?” His voice was bitter. “You’re the one so desperate to help your ex-boyfriend. Weren’t we all furious with him just an hour ago?”

 

Regulus snarled. 

 

“He’s fucking dying, you idiotic piece of—”

 

“Enough!” Sirius stopped the argument before it could escalate. “We don’t have time to argue.” He turned to Peter. “Regulus is right, Pete. We’re going.”

 

Peter gulped, but didn’t fire back. He never had the guts to argue with Sirius. 

 

Coward, Regulus thought.

 

“I’ll stay here,” Regulus murmured, stepping toward the firepit—or what remained of it, adjusting James in his arms. “I’m not leaving him.”

 

Never.

 

“I’ll stay too,” Barty said firmly, rushing over to the firepit and gently placing Evan on the ground. 

 

Both James and Evan were still passed out. Their skin still pale and freezing. At least they weren’t vomiting anymore, and that must’ve been a good sign, right? 

 

“Alright,” Sirius said after a while. “We’ll be fast—we’ll just grab whatever we can.” He turned his eyes to Regulus and smiled softly, like a reassurance. “We’ll be back soon.”

 

Regulus just nodded and turned his focus back to James, gently caressing his wet curls.

 

Please open your eyes.

 

Remus exhaled sharply. “Then let’s not waste time.”

 

Pandora lingered, her gaze shifting from Barty to Regulus, her mouth pouting. “ Do you guys need one of us to stay? To help?”

 

“We can,” Dorcas added. “Reg, if you need—”

 

Regulus shook his head before she could even finish. “Just go,” he said, never looking away from James. “Find something. Fast.”

 

He didn’t even notice the others departing for the search. His entire world had narrowed to James—his still body, his pale skin, his closed eyes.

 

I want to see your eyes, Regulus pleaded.

 

Please open them.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Honestly, they had no idea how they were able to move their legs at the moment.

 

They walked fast, their boots crunching loudly in the snow. The adrenaline had worn off, their legs moving forward only because of the sheer intention of saving their friends—and themselves. They were cold, wet, hungry, thirsty—they couldn’t spend a day like that in the maze. They couldn’t spend a freezing night like that. 

 

They retraced the test’s path through the first corridor beyond the camp, passing the place where the island had been. 

 

Yes, had been. Because it wasn’t there anymore. Vanished. 

 

“It’s driving me fucking insane,” Remus muttered, “How things just—appear and disappear out of nowhere. It makes no sense.”

 

No one answered him. Because they couldn’t. If Remus—the cleverest of them all (though some might argue Regulus was close)—couldn’t figure it out, how could they?

 

They had been walking for a good ten minutes now. They couldn’t go too far from the camp, since they had no map or petals to trace their path. The lake had swallowed them. They stayed in the corridors around the camp, the ones they had engraved into their minds in the month spent inside the maze.

 

They had found some things already; wood, always the easiest thing to find, some water and blankets. Not enough. Definitely not enough.

 

”… Guys,” Dorcas announced. She had some wood on her arms, and her gaze was focused on the wall of the corridor they had been walking into. 

 

Lily rushed over. “What is it?”

 

“The circle’s gone too,” she pointed at the runes engraved on the walls, where now only one single vertical line remained.

 

Mary smirked and looked at the sky above them. “I’m coming for you, motherfuckers,” she hissed.

 

Lily gently hit her in the arm. “Stop it—you’ll make them angry.”

 

Mary shrugged. “Who fucking cares. I’m in hell anyway.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius started, pushing Mary further from the wall. “We know. But we don’t have time for this now.” Mary turned and flipped her middle finger to him, sticking her tongue out playfully.

 

The supply searches had been useful. Even though Sirius and his group hadn’t really liked them, they now realized how smart it had been to have them. They knew exactly where to search, making things faster and easier. Pandora and Dorcas were the most skilled ones, as their group loved going on supply searches. Or, well. Regulus did.

 

“…I still don’t get why we’re doing this,” Peter whispered after a while. He had his arms around himself, and wasn’t really helping them with the search.

 

Marlene frowned. “What?”

 

Peter swallowed uncomfortably. “James. I don’t get why we’re—” He gestured vaguely. “Didn’t we hate him? After yesterday?”

 

Mary stiffened. “Peter.”

 

But he didn’t stop. “He lied to us, guys. Maybe he still is. Maybe he remembers who he is, or who we are, or maybe he’s working with them. Maybe he wasn’t even actually dating Regulus and just manipulat—“

 

“Shut up,” Sirius gritted through his teeth.

 

Peter bristled. “I’m just saying—”

 

“Shut the fuck up, Peter.”

 

“You didn’t trust him either, Sirius! You said you’d kill hi—“

 

“I wasn’t fucking serious, are you insane?!”

 

“Also… not trusting someone is different from letting them die on purpose, Peter,” Remus said, his face full of… disappointment. “Are you even hearing yourself?” Remus added. “We’re not monsters.”

 

Peter opened his mouth—then closed it, pressing his lips into a thin line.

 

“Also,” Marlene said coldly, “James literally fell into the fucking water trying to save me. You should be grateful.”

 

Peter huffed. “Maybe he just did it to—I don’t know—regain your trust.”

 

Marlene’s eyes were burning with anger. She stepped closer to him, their faces only inches apart. “Listen,” she hissed. “I don’t fucking care if he didn’t tell us that he used to fuck Regulus in the past, alright? He saved my life, so I’m saving his. And you’re going to help me do that. Understood?”

 

Peter gulped.

 

Mary rushed between them, trying to calm the waters. “Listen—he’s just had a horrible day. He doesn’t mean it.” She turned to Peter. “Right, Pete?”

 

Peter scanned his friend’s faces—their eyes were judging, furious. He swallowed hard and looked at Sirius, who stared back at him with wild eyes.

 

He didn’t care if the others were angry or disappointed—didn’t care if Marlene was boling or if Remus was upset. The most important thing to Peter, was to never disappoint Sirius. Never. 

 

He exhaled sharply through his nose. “Yeah,”he whispered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

 

Sirius clenched his jaw. He looked at Peter for a moment longer before turning away. Without another word, he started walking back toward the endless corridors of the maze.

 

“Good,” he spat. “Let’s keep walking.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Eventually, James and Evan had woken up. 

 

Evan first, much to Barty’s delight. He had never felt so relieved in his life. Just moments after, James had opened his eyes too, and Regulus' brain had finally started working again. 

 

The worry was still there, obviously. The nagging feeling of wanting James to just—be okay was there too. But the moment blue eyes had slowly opened again meeting his, a rush of relief spread across Regulus’ veins, pushing his blurry senses back to work. 

 

Blue against blue.

Ice against ice. 

 

The four of them were still sitting together around the dead firepit, waiting for the other to come back, hopefully, with something to help them and rebuild the camp. 

 

Despite Evan and James being finally awake, both of them were still pretty much hypothermic. Their skin was still a sick pale shade, their lips an abnormal color. And most of all, they were still shaking. A lot. 

 

Barty could barely stand to look at Evan like this. After the tenth violent tremor that shook Evan’s body, he’d had enough. He removed his jacket, despite it being cold and covered in ice, and put it around Evan’s shaking frame. A small amused smile spread across Evan’s face. 

 

“Shit,” he rasped, his voice shaking just as badly as his body. “You’re worried about me.”

 

Barty rolled his eyes. “No shit, Evan, you’re my best friend.”

 

Evan let out a breathless chuckle, but snuggled into the jacket. Not even his smugness was able to hide the fact that he was utterly freezing. 

 

Barty clenched his jaw hard. He didn’t know if it was from the sharp cold he was feeling now that he was just in a shirt and nothing else, or from the fact that seeing his friend in pain made him physically sick. 

 

Fuck it. 

 

Without thinking about it too much, he shifted closer to Evan, sitting right behind him. 

 

Evan furrowed his brows. “What the hell ar—Oh.”

 

Oh, indeed. 

 

Barty had wrapped his arms around Evan’s waist, pushing Evan’s back onto his chest. The contact was sudden, scary and—warm.

 

So fucking warm. 

 

Evan froze. For the first time in hours, he felt a rush of heat spreading across his face. “Barty,” he mumbled, stiff.

 

“Shut up and let me help you,” Barty muttered back. He knew it was a bit weird for friends to do this. And also, Barty wasn’t the biggest fan of physical touch. Not like Regulus, obviously. Not to the extent where he despised it. But still, if he could, Barty would avoid touching people. 

 

He had some exceptions though. Like Regulus. And Regulus, and—just Regulus, really. He’d kill someone for an occasion to touch him again. James, probably. If Barty was a terrible person.

 

Unfortunately, Barty was in fact not a bad person. He was an exceptional human being—selfless, even.

 

He slowly shifted his face a bit from Evan’s body, and looked at Regulus and James on the other side of the firepit. Regulus seemed to have regained a bit of sanity.

 

“You should do the same with him,” Barty said. 

 

Regulus’ head snapped up from where he had been religiously watching James. “What?”

 

Barty scowled, hugging Evan a bit closer. “This. It helps both you and him. Trust me.”

 

Regulus hesitantly looked over at James, who was still shaking terribly like Evan. Yes, his mind had calmed down, yes he was starting to think properly again. 

 

But that didn’t stop his body from moving closer to James and wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. Regulus stiffened as James slumped against him, his head dipping forward, his frozen lips brushing against the crook of Regulus’ neck.

 

The contact made Regulus shiver violently, though he didn’t know if it was from the cold lips or the simple touch. 

 

This. 

 

I know this feeling.

 

“…Am I dreaming?” James whispered against his neck.

 

Regulus frowned. “What?”

 

James laughed softly, sending a chill down to Regulus’ spine. “I never thought this day would come again.”

 

“I don’t understand, James.” 

 

“You. Holding me.”

 

Regulus scoffed, hiding a small blush. “I’m only doing this because you’re dying. I don’t like touching people.”

 

Yes, Regulus thought. Brain’s working again.

 

James moved his head up a bit, looking at him straight in the eyes, their faces just inches apart. 

 

Nope. Stopped working again.

 

“As I already told you…” Regulus could feel his breath mix with his. “The physical touch thing doesn’t count with me.”

 

For the first time, Regulus believed him right away.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

”It’s weird,” Lily started, as she held some dry clothes and blankets in her arms.

 

They had found whatever they could. They focused mostly on wood and things to warm James and Evan, since they were their priority at the moment. Water was essential too, and they did find some, luckily. 

 

They were now turning back to camp, eager to arrive and do whatever they could to help their friends. They truly hoped Evan and James had at least woken up. 

 

“They give us food, water, tents—but then make us do these death tests. Why? If they wanted us dead, why not just kill us?” Lily continued, panting lightly. 

 

“I mean, it’s been like this from the start,” Sirius said as he hefted a large canteen of water over his shoulders. 

 

“Not really,” Remus disagreed. “I thought they were watching us from the start too, yes, but—that was before the tests had started,” he swallowed hard. 

 

Mary clicked her tongue. “They’re just psychopaths that want to see us die,” she spat. “They give us food because we’re like pigs for slaughter for them—maybe they’re betting on us too.” A bitter laugh left her mouth. 

 

Sirius let out a short, humorless scoff. “I wouldn’t bet on any of you.”

 

Marlene threw one apple at him. A loud gasp left Sirius’ mouth. “Ouch!” 

 

Marlene laughed openly, her laugh easing the mood a bit. “I’d bet on Regulus, honestly—he’s insane. Did you see the way he threw himself into the water for James? Fucking brilliant.”

 

Everyone nodded in agreement. 

 

“He’s different, isn’t he?” Lily asked. “Regulus. Ever since he found out about him and James—he seems… softer.”

 

Pandora and Dorcas barked out a laugh. “Jesus, don’t ever tell him that. He’ll probably stick a fork in your eye and pull it out,” Pandora exclaimed. 

 

Lily pouted. “But you’d save me, wouldn’t you?” she blinked her eyes a few times in a soft teasing way. Pandora smiled back. “I would.”

 

As the others laughed and teased each other, Remus was still focused in thought. Too many unanswered questions were spiraling inside his mind. It didn’t make sense. What was the actual purpose of the tests—of the entire maze? It couldn’t be just pure entertainment, at least that’s what he thought. 

 

Despite seemingly wanting to kill them, the people who put them there seemed to… treat them oddly well. Why give them tents, weapons, and clothes—if the final goal was simply… death? 

 

Before the test, Remus had always believed they were a part of something bigger—an experiment, maybe. They all had. But the tests…well. They changed everything.

 

Not to Remus though. 

 

They give us food because we’re like pigs for slaughter to them.

 

It made sense. So much sense. And still, Remus wasn’t sure that was the actual reason. And Remus was just as stubborn as he was clever.

 

So, no matter what it took, he was going to find out the real reason behind this entire maze. Alone, if necessary.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

They arrived shortly after, arms and hands full of the useful supplies.

 

“How are they?” Lily was the first to speak, her voice taut with concern as she dropped the blankets and clothes onto the frozen ground, rushing to check James and Evan’s condition.

 

“Awake,” Barty said, his voice muffled as he was still pressed up against Evan’s back. “But still freezing.”

 

“Alright—alright, Sirius, the fire,” she said as she took some of the blankets they found and wrapped them first around Evan, then James (and Regulus, who was still hugging him as if his life depended on it.)

 

Sirius and Remus darted to the firepit, throwing wood and grass inside it. They started working with the branches, though their hands were hurting from the cold. 

 

“C’mon—c’mon,” Remus hissed, as he was violently striking two branches together. A small flicker of light appeared, followed by some smoke. “Shit, blow on it, quickly,” he said to Sirius. 

 

Sirius crouched near the pile on the ground, and started huffing loudly. More smoke appeared and the small flicker of light began eating up the rest of the wood around it.

 

“Yes, yes!” Remus laughed. And the firepit came back to life. 

 

A few gasps of relief followed, including some loud claps.

 

Lily rushed toward the small stack of dishes near the firepit, and immediately began heating up some water. “We need to warm James and Evan, quickly.”

 

“On it,” Mary said, as she and Marlene knelt to the ground and grabbed the tents. “We’ll start building the tents to get them inside.”

 

Lily nodded eagerly as she waited for the water to warm up. 

 

Dorcas and Pandora were frantically walking from one side of the firepit to the other, putting more blankets around Evan and James. 

 

“Jesus, Dora,” Barty huffed as Pandora placed the fourth blanket around him and Evan. “We’re going to suffocate.” 

 

Pandora narrowed her eyes. “You’re going to suffocate. Evan’s going to warm up,” she gently caressed Evan’s hair. “Right, Ev?”

 

Evan hummed vigorously, clearly enjoying the rush of heat that was spreading around his body. 

 

“Here, here,” Lily announced. She took the cup out of the fire and walked toward them. “Get a piece of cloth and warm his face,” she instructed to Barty. Barty hummed and untangled himself from Evan. He crouched in front of him, taking the cup from Lily’s hand. Dorcas passed him a piece of cloth, and he started gently rubbing it around Evan’s face. 

 

Evan closed his eyes at the touch, a relieved sigh leaving his mouth. 

 

“Let’s pass it to Regulus,” Sirius said as he took the cup after Barty was done. He walked over on the other side of the firepit where Regulus and James were.

 

Regulus hadn’t moved an inch. His arms were still tightly wrapped around James’ waist, both their faces buried in each other’s neck. He hadn’t even acknowledged their presence, or talked, for the matter. 

 

“Reg,” Sirius cleared his throat. “We need to warm his face. Let him go.”

 

Regulus stiffed, widening his eyes as if he had just been caught doing something he shouldn’t have. He immediately pushed his arms up, removing them from James’ waist. “I was just doing it to help him,” he blurted out.

 

Sirius almost smirked. Almost. “Right,” he drawled.

 

Regulus fought the urge to insult him as he abruptly stood up, and left Sirius work with James’ face. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself, trying to hide a small blush creeping from his neck.

 

“We need to change them,” Lily said after a while. “Their clothes are still wet. They won’t warm properly if they stay in them.”

 

Barty was already moving before she finished speaking, pushing himself to his feet. “I got Evan.” He scooped Evan up effortlessly, ignoring the protest Evan tried to make.

 

”Barty, I can walk—”

 

“Shut up, you literally can’t.”

 

Evan let out a weak huff of laughter, but he was too drained to argue. Barty carried him into the nearest tent, catching the dry clothes Dorcas tossed his way as they disappeared inside.

 

“I got James,” Sirius said, pushing off his knees, ready to help James stand up.

 

Regulus snapped his head fast. 

 

“I’ll do it.”

 

Shit.

 

Everyone turned to look at him, clearly surprised. I mean, who would ever want to—get his ex-boyfriend naked, right? 

 

Regulus, apparently. Or his stupid fucking brain that clearly wasn’t working that well that day.

 

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Wouldn’t that be we—“

 

“I said I’ll do it,” Regulus cut him off, voice clipped. “We were dating. It shouldn’t be a problem.”

 

It is a problem.

 

It’s a huge fucking problem.

 

Sirius just raised his hands in the air. He was trying so hard not to smirk.

 

Lily, wisely, didn’t comment, though a small grin tugged at her lips. “Here ,” she said, giving the damp cloth to Regulus. “Clean his body with this. Start from the abdomen—it’ll help regulate his temperature.”

 

Regulus exhaled sharply, and then nodded. He took the dry clothes and the cloth in one hand, while with the other he gently helped James stand up and led him inside one of the tents. 

 

Bad idea, Regulus.

 

Bad idea.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus was doing fine.

 

He was, really. 

 

His heart was beating at a totally normal speed. His body was totally not shaking. And he totally wasn’t sweating from every single pore on his skin. 

 

He was standing in the tent right in front of James—who was just watching him. Waiting. Though behind the mask of his pale, shivering body, Regulus caught a glimpse of amusement. 

 

“Are you going to do it or not?” James asked.

 

Regulus gulped.

 

It’s fine. 

 

You’re fine.

 

Don’t make a fool of yourself.

 

He hesitantly reached for the zipper on James’ damp jacket, and slowly unzipped it, sliding it off James’ shoulders. And, well, the sight that greeted Regulus was… something.

 

Fuck me.

 

Beneath the jacket, James had a very tight white shirt with long sleeves that was totally drenched with water. Obviously. Regulus stared at the damp fabric with wide eyes, his mouth watering before he could even stop it. He could see every single ab line, every single muscle of James’ abdomen twitching. 

 

This had been a bad idea. The worst idea Regulus had ever had in his life. 

 

James let out a hoarse chuckle, noticing him staring.  “Nothing you haven’t seen before,” he murmured.

 

Regulus’ face burned.

 

“Shut up,” he blurted out as he slowly pulled James’ shirt off. Then he kneeled to get the warm cloth and gently wiped it across his chest. He focused on the movement of his hand, on the task that he had to perform.

 

Not on James’ body.

 

Never on James’ body. 

 

He pressed the cloth between James’ ribs, his shoulders, his biceps. His skin was still cold, but it was slowly warming up. He moved to his stomach, then lower—right near the waistband of his jeans. He noticed a small line made of dark ink coming out of James’ boxers, which Regulus assumed was a tattoo. 

 

He hovered just a second more over the tiny flicker of ink before snapping his arm back.

 

One down.

 

But the worst part was yet to come.

 

The jeans. 

 

Regulus closed his eyes and breathed out. He was fine. He was. 

 

His hands slowly found the waistband of James’ jeans, and for a brief second, he hesitated. James must’ve felt it, because his lips curved in a very annoying teasing way. 

 

“Not used to seeing you shy before getting me naked.”

 

Regulus narrowed his eyes.

 

Fuck him.

 

He didn’t say anything, just unfastened the button and pulled the zipper down with more force than necessary. James let out a sharp breath as Regulus worked the soaked jeans down his thighs, kneeling in front of him and tossing them aside.

 

“Fuck,” James whimpered.

 

Regulus froze. 

 

“What?”

 

“You’re on your knees in front of me, Regulus,” James murmured. “I’m just a man.”

 

Remember when Regulus said that he had regained his sanity? Well, that was long gone. His brain exploded into a million pieces. His body reacted in ways he hadn’t thought possible. He looked up at James, standing tall in front of him. 

 

James’ eyes were half-lidded, looking down at him with his mouth slightly open. 

 

He looked… no, he was—shit, was James..?

 

“I can’t believe you’re thinking about blowjobs when you’re half-dead,” Regulus coughed, trying to hide the embarrassment that was eating him up from the inside.

 

James hummed, eyes locked on Regulus. “I can.”

 

Regulus breathed through his nose. He was going insane. He was. 

He quickly grabbed the warm cloth and pressed it along James’ thighs, trying to push back any thoughts about James’ warm body beneath his fingers. 

 

Probably the hardest thing he had ever done in his pathetic life.

 

He pulled back, sitting on his heels as he grabbed the pile of dry clothes and shoved them toward James. “Put these on.” He stood up. “Then sleep.”

 

“Yes, sir,” James smirked, noticing the small blush on Regulus’ cheeks. 

 

Regulus scowled but didn’t bother responding. He quickly grabbed the damp clothes that he had thrown onto the ground. “I’m putting these near the fire to dry.” 

 

James nodded as he slowly dressed himself with the fresh clothes.

 

Regulus nodded back, turning toward the exit of the tent, ready to leave.

 

“Regulus.”

 

He froze in his step. He didn’t turn, just stayed exactly where he was. He could hear James hesitating as the next words pushed past his lips.

 

“Stay.”

 

Regulus’ heart accelerated again. He slowly turned his eyes back to James.

 

“Just tonight. Just while I sleep. This is the last time, I promise,” James continued.

 

Regulus should’ve said no. He knows he should’ve. He had spent one nightmare of a day, full of voices, of touching. He had risked his life multiple times, and his mind hadn’t really been working well that day. 

 

Most of all, he had spent too much time with James. Too much time staring at his eyes, too much time… touching him. He needed a break from James. So yes, Regulus was going to say no, and sleep outside with the others. 

 

“Please, Reg,” James whispered as he stared at him. “I need it. I need you. After today, after everything—please, I need you.”

 

Weaknesses were the bane of Regulus’ existence. This is why he hated them. This is why he had been trying to avoid them. 

 

And for the same exact reasons, he had been trying to avoid James too. Because Regulus was clever, and he knew from the first day that James was going to become a problem for him. 

 

And he did. 

 

It wasn’t even about showing weaknesses around James or around the others.

 

James had become his greatest and scariest weakness of them all.

 

Regulus briefly closed his eyes, and just—let the weaknesses win. Let his mind down—something he’d been doing too much lately.

 

“Fine.”

 

A smile appeared on James’ lips. One of those genuine, breathtaking smiles.

 

Regulus quickly turned away, stepping outside for a moment to toss the soaked clothes near the fire. By the time he slipped back inside, James was already wrapped inside the blankets, his eyes drifting shut. 

 

Regulus hesitated, just for a second. Then he slowly knelt down, pushing the blanket away and disappearing inside it, lying down beside James. He turned toward his sleeping face, watching as his skin returned to normal and his lips regained their usual pink.

 

He’s fine.

 

He’s okay.

 

Regulus finally let himself rest.

 

And when sleep pulled him under, he dreamed of blue eyes and cold skin.

Notes:

I’ll Keep You Safe - Sleeping At Last.

Chapter 12: Ocean Eyes

The first thing Evan felt after waking up, unexpectedly, was warmth.

 

He felt it all over his body, his face, every inch of him. He was wrapped in soft blankets, with a damp, hot cloth hanging over his forehead. The smell of fresh clothes filled up his entire nose.

 

It felt strange, at first, the warmth.

 

After so many hours spent freezing, clinging to life, it wasn’t something he was used to anymore.

 

His fingers curled slightly against the blanket, feeling its softness beneath his fingertips. His hand drifted instinctively to the space beside him, looking for something, or someone. 

 

As soon as his hand reached over, he realized that he was alone. Barty wasn’t there anymore.

 

Evan snapped his eyes open and looked at the empty spot beside him. The blanket was still faintly rumpled, like he hadn’t been gone for long, but the solid presence of Barty had just—vanished.

 

He swallowed a hard lump in his throat. 

 

His mind quickly replayed the moments of the night before; the feeling of bony hands dragging him deeper into the water, the feeling of ice spreading through his veins and—the feeling of Barty’s body pressed against his.

 

The comfort.

 

The comfort of Barty’s body, the worry in his voice when he thought Evan was in danger, his hands when he helped him remove his damp clothes. For some reason, the warmth he had felt in that last hour yesterday felt more overwhelming than the freezing cold he had felt for the entire day.

 

But that was just—concern. Nothing else.

 

It was nothing.

 

Barty had been worried, yes. But that was all. They were friends, right? Just like Barty had said. Best friends, even. And they always would be.

 

Best.

 

Friends.

 

Nothing less, and definitely nothing more.

 

And besides—besides—he knew exactly where Barty’s heart belonged.

 

Regulus.

 

It had always been Regulus. Always would be. For God’s sake, Barty had kissed him right in front of his face. Shouldn’t that be enough?

 

Evan had been head over heels for Barty since the very first day he could remember, honestly. Evan and Barty had actually met before anyone else in the maze did, just minutes after they woke up scared and confused. But they were both too frightened, too disoriented to even think about actually talking to one another, so they just—ran away in opposite directions. 

 

But despite the fear, Evan couldn’t manage to stop thinking about the face of the handsome stranger. They met again a couple of days later, when Barty and Regulus had already formed an unbreakable bond where Evan couldn’t fit. And he never did. His feelings for Barty had only grown from there, and so did Barty’s for Regulus. 

 

When Barty liked someone, it was obvious. He had always been someone pretty open when showing his emotions—whether negative or positive. At least that’s what Evan had gathered in the month he had spent with him.

 

Once Barty cares about you, he’ll do anything for you. And Evan had seen it yesterday. 

 

But once Barty loves you, well—that’s a totally different conversation.  And Evan couldn’t compete against that.

 

So whatever had happened last night—whatever had passed between them in the haze of cold and fear—meant nothing.

 

With a quiet sigh, he pushed himself up. His body still felt strange, like it hadn’t quite recovered from almost dying—but overall, he was fine. He could move without trembling; his fingers no longer felt like ice.

 

Better.

 

He took a deep breath before finally leaving the tent. The morning air was still cold; a sharp chill touched his skin, but it didn’t feel as harsh as the day before. The fire still crackled at the center of the camp, the others probably too afraid to let it die.

 

Of course, the first person he noticed was Barty. He was kneeling near the fire, swirling his knife around his fingers, while Dorcas and Pandora were sitting beside him, their heads close together, speaking in hushed tones.

 

Evan had barely taken a step out of the tent when Barty looked up, his eyes fixed on him in a second.

 

“Look who decided to join us,” Barty said, a soft smile spreading across his face. Pandora and Dorcas immediately looked around, moving their heads toward him. 

 

“Ev!” they yelled in unison.

 

Evan rolled his eyes. “Don’t start.”

 

Barty just grinned. “I was just heating up some water for you. Wanted to put a fresh cloth on your forehead.”

 

Oh.

 

Oh, fuck him.

 

“Oh,” Evan said, shifting awkwardly. “It’s fine. I feel better. I’m not cold anymore.”

 

“Are you sure?” Pandora said, standing up and walking closer. “Because last night, you looked about two seconds away from dropping dead.”

 

Dorcas nodded. “We were worried, Ev. A lot.”

 

“Well,” he muttered, forcing a smirk, “not dead yet.”

 

Barty didn’t say anything. He just kept on looking at him, scanning his body, probably for any sign of the remnants of cold. The more they looked at one another, the more the thoughts of the day before occupied every corner of Evan’s mind.

 

Focus on something else.

 

Focus on something else.

 

“I’ll make breakfast,” Evan announced, drifting his gaze toward the bodies of the rest of the group that were still sleeping. “You guys did enough for me yesterday.”

 

Pandora raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think you’re in the condition to cook, Evan.”

 

“I said I’m fine, Dora,” Evan answered.

 

He was. Why didn’t anyone believe him?

 

Barty laughed, removing the pot with hot water from the fire. “Alright, chef. What’s on the menu?”

 

Evan glanced at the pile of supplies the group had found the day before. “Well, we do have some flour. I could make pancakes?”

 

“Oh my god, YES!” Dorcas and Pandora exclaimed together.

 

Barty gasped dramatically. “Do you know how much gluten is in pancakes? Are you trying to kill me after I just saved your life?”

 

Dorcas snorted, stretching her arms over her head. “Who fucking cares?”

 

As Evan crouched down to start mixing the flour with some water, he glanced up again. “James?” he asked. “Is he okay now?”

 

For some reason, that question darkened Barty’s expression, his jaw tightening as he stabbed his knife into the snowy ground. “Oh, he’s probably fine,” Barty spat. “He’s sleeping with his amazing nurse at the moment.”

 

Evan blinked, startled by the sudden change in his tone.

 

Dorcas grunted exasperated. “Can you get over it already? Jesus.”

 

Evan frowned, confused for half a second—then realization clicked.

 

Ouch.

 

“Well,” Evan said, trying to look casual. “Regulus did save him. Guess it makes sense that he’d want to keep an eye on him.”

 

Barty’s grip on his knife tightened, knuckles going white. “Sure,” he said, the muscles on his jaw clenching so hard Evan thought he might break a bone.

 

Evan’s chest definitely did not tighten after that.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Blue eyes were filled with water.

 

They were shining, glistening. Long eyelashes surrounded them; shimmering tears wetting them.

 

”Regulus.”

 

More tears. 

 

“What did you do?”

 

The tears fell, wetting pink lips. 

 

“What did you do?” 

 

“Tell me.”

 

The blue eyes turned frantic.

 

Regulus was desperate too; he didn’t know what to answer.

 

Didn’t even know what he’d done.

 

“Regulus. Regulus. Regulus—

 

 

 

Regulus woke up crying.

 

A gentle hand was caressing his cheek.

 

“Hey, hey—It’s alright. I’m here.”

 

James was leaning over him, blue eyes filled with concern. Regulus could still feel the wetness on his skin. He blinked rapidly, adjusting his eyes to the morning light, his mind also waking up in the process. 

 

“Do you want to talk to me about it? The nightmares?” James asked, his furrowed brows a sign of the concern he was still feeling. 

 

“No,” Regulus exclaimed.

 

It was one thing to admit to himself that James had become a weakness for him. It was another thing to fully present himself as a weak person. Waking up crying because of a nightmare—Regulus had honestly never felt more embarrassed. 

 

You should be, Regulus’ mind said. 

 

Regulus hadn’t missed it at all.

 

He quickly grabbed James’ hand that was still resting on his cheek and removed it, sitting up straight. “How are you?” he asked, trying to deflect the conversation 

 

James sighed. He noticed.

 

“Better. Still a bit sore, but not freezing anymore.” He smiled warmly. “I assume I have to thank you for, you know, the hug and clothes thing.”

 

Regulus rolled his eyes. “You were half-dead, James,” he muttered. “That’s why I did it. Especially the clothes part.”

 

James chuckled, shaking his head. “Right. Not like you’ve done it a hundred times already.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Regulus deadpanned. “A hundred.” 

 

“I don’t know. Maybe two hundred. Or three? I didn’t count, you know.”

 

“What the fuck?” Regulus gaped at him. “That’s literally humanly impossible.”

 

“What can I say?” James wiggled his brows. “I’m addictive. And you’re a freaky little shit.”

 

Regulus was blushing so much you could probably see him in a dark room. 

 

Stop it. 

 

Return yourself.

 

“I should’ve just let you die in the water,” he blurted out.

 

James’ grin faded instantly. 

 

Regulus almost felt bad. Almost.

 

“Why do you keep doing this?” James said after a long pause.

 

Regulus’ head snapped toward him. “Doing what?”

 

“Shutting me out!” James raised his voice. “Every time I think we’re getting somewhere, the next moment you’re just—pushing me away again.”

 

Regulus stared at him, his expression carefully blank. “That’s just how I am, James. Not a really a fan of people, as you can see.”

 

James tightened his jaw. “That’s just a fucking mask you like to put on,” he laughed. “Shit—you think you can fool me?”

 

Regulus let out a humorless laugh, shaking his head. “That’s simply not true. And you, more than anyone, should know.” he said flatly. “Since, you know, apparently we were dating.”

 

The moment the words left his mouth, he regretted them immediately. He looked at James’ face, and for the first time since Regulus had found him in the maze, he looked—angry. Furious, even.

 

“Fuck you, Reg. We were,” James spat.

 

Regulus frowned. “What?”

 

“We were dating, Regulus. Not apparently. We fucking were.” James laughed breathlessly, like he couldn’t believe what Regulus had just said. “Do you know how fucking difficult this entire situation is for me?” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “How fucking difficult it is to be near you without touching you, or—I don’t know— fucking kissing you?”

 

Regulus inhaled sharply. James needed to stop talking. Right now. Right fucking now.

 

“It’s been hell, Regulus,” James continued, his voice shaking. “Fucking hell. Having you right in front of me and feeling like—it’s not actually you. Like I have my boyfriend right here with me, but at the same time, I don’t.”

 

Stop talking.

 

Stop talking.

 

“So yeah,” James said finally, throwing his arms in the air, “don’t talk to me about your nightmares. I won’t fucking force you.” His blue eyes were glistening now. They looked like the ones from the dream, Regulus thought. “But please, please, don’t push me away.”

 

Regulus realized that he wasn’t breathing anymore. He tried, but he the air wouldn’t reach his lungs.

 

What—what is someone supposed to do after that? What is someone supposed to even say after that? 

 

James wanted to touch him. James wanted to kiss him. And a part of Regulus, a hidden part inside of Regulus that was slowly breaking the surface inside him, told him that he wanted that too. 

 

Weakness.

 

Weakness. 

 

All of him.

 

His dark, messy curls falling on his face. His frowned brows. His lips—the lips he knew he’d touched before. He wished he could remember when he did. 

 

His eyes. 

 

The biggest weakness of them all.

 

So blue he could recognize them everywhere. Even in his darkest nightmares. Before he could stop himself—before his mind could catch up on what was going on inside him—Regulus broke the silence in the worst way possible.

 

“I like your eyes.”

 

Four words. Fours words that looked so simple on the outside, but seemed so enormous to James, who widened his eyes in pure surprise.

 

“What?” he whispered.

 

Fuck.

 

Why had he said that? Fuck.

 

“I don’t know why I said that,” Regulus muttered, tearing his gaze away, embarrassment eating him. 

 

“No, no—shit,” James reached forward, grabbing his arm. “Please,” he said, his voice suddenly urgent, begging. “Say it again. Please Reg. Please.”

 

Regulus swallowed, his brows furrowing in confusion. He didn’t understand why James was reacting this way, though the pleading in James’ voice broke something inside of Regulus. 

 

He exhaled shakily.

 

This was stupid.

 

He was stupid.

 

He had made a fool of himself enough for the past few minutes. But James was looking at him like that, and the pull in his chest was still there, and his stomach was twisting, and his heartbeat was too much. So he exhaled, because deep down he knew he was a weak, weak man. At least in front of James. 

 

“I like your eyes, James,” he said again, slower this time, like he meant every single word. “They’re—beautiful.”

 

Regulus turned his eyes toward the ground, the embarrassment being too much. The words just spilled out of his mouth with no warning. He heard a faint sob and snapped his head up again.

 

James was crying.

 

“That’s—fuck,” His hands were shaking. “That’s one of the first things you ever said to me.”

 

That, Regulus did not expect.

 

“Really?” he whispered.

 

“Really,” James murmured back.

 

Regulus hesitated. His heart was beating so fast he could feel his entire body shaking. A sudden urge to know rushed through him. He wanted to know. He deserved it.  He licked his lips, looking at James. “And—what did you say after that?”

 

James stilled for a moment. Then he let out a short, embarrassed laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I—” He huffed, shaking his head as his smile grew. “I just told you that—I liked everything about you.”

 

Regulus let out a startled laugh, warmth creeping up his neck. He scoffed, rolling his eyes as he glanced away. “Yeah, right.”

 

James’ grin widened. His gaze flickered over Regulus’ face, bright with amusement—then something like realization hit, and his grin turned smug.

 

“You’re blushing.”

 

Regulus’ head snapped back toward him. His face burned. “Fuck you, I don’t blush.”

 

“Oh, you do,” James teased. “I’ve seen you do it so many times these past few days. Also—you used to blush so much around me. “

 

Great, so Regulus was embarrassing in his past life too. 

 

Just great.

 

“You’re lying.”

 

James shook his head, still grinning. “Not even a little.” His voice softened, turning almost wistful. “It was my favorite thing about you.”

 

Regulus’ stomach flipped.

 

Shit.

 

He turned his face away, focusing intently on the blanket in his lap, willing the heat on his skin to disappear. Where the fuck was his mind when he needed it the most?

 

“Listen,” James said after a while. “Can you just—promise me one thing? It’s the last thing I’ll ask you, I swear.”

 

Regulus rolled his eyes. “What?”

 

“That you’ll keep asking me questions about us. I like talking about it. I promise I won’t ask you to do anything. Just… please, listen to me. I just—I want you to remember me. Us.”

 

Regulus looked at him in silence for a moment. He asked his mind for advice, but it didn’t answer. 

 

So his heart talked for him instead.

 

“Alright.”

 

James widened his eyes, as if he had been expecting an entire different answer. “Alright?”

 

“Yes, James,” Regulus said, defeated. “I’ll listen to you.”

 

Regulus had never seen James smile so much after that.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

A gentle knocking sound interrupted them, making them both jolt upright.

 

“Hello, good morning,” Evan said as he tore the tent flap open, entirely too cheery. He grinned smugly, seeing how close the two of them were. “James, glad to see that you’re alive.”

 

Regulus and James both jerked apart instinctively, as if caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing. “Good morning.” James smiled, a bit embarrassed. “Glad to see that we’re both alive.”

 

Regulus exhaled, relieved at the sight of Evan. He had been so focused on James, that he felt bad for neglecting his friend the day before. But he was fine. His skin looked normal again, his nose and cheeks finally a healthy crimson shade. 

 

Evan laughed briefly. “Yeah well—I just wanted to let you guys know that I made breakfast for everyone cause I’m such a good human being,” he gasped dramatically, taking one hand on his chest. “Pancakes are waiting for you outside.”

 

“You made pancakes?” Regulus asked skeptically, furrowing his brows. “How?”

 

“Yes,” Evan said proudly. “Just flour and warm water. And no”—he raised one finger in the air—“before anyone says anything, it’s not bread. It’s pancakes. Thank you very much.”

 

Regulus pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. “Evan, that’s literally bre—“

 

“Oh, and I also made soup,” Evan added, clapping his hands. “For Barty. And his fucking gluten-free diet.”

 

James snorted.

 

“So yeah,” Evan finished. “We’re waiting for you. Especially Sirius. You know how he becomes when he’s hungry.” He stood up from the ground, ready to leave. A mischievous smile appeared on his lips. “But you know”—he winked—“if you want a little more alone time, I can let the others know. If you know what I mean.” 

 

”Well, now that you’re saying this—“ James started, laughing, but Regulus immediately interrupted him, throwing one blanket at Evan. “Fuck you, Ev.”

 

Evan quickly left the tent laughing, while James kept on chuckling at the sight of a flustered Regulus. 

 

“Stop it, James,” Regulus glared at him sharply, his eyes narrowing in a threatening way. That made James let out a real laugh this time, bright and loud. 

 

“Don’t look at me like that,” James said, still laughing. “It just makes you look cuter.”

 

Regulus’ mouth fell open.

 

Cute?

 

“Yeah, I’m leaving,” he declared as he stood up, ready to get out of the tent. “That’s literally the worst thing you could’ve said to me.”

 

James stood up with him, laughter still spilling out. “Oh, you have no idea about the amount of things I’d tell you right now.”

 

Regulus wasn’t sure he had the courage to hear them.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

“Evan, that’s literally fucking bread,” Sirius declared as he spat out a piece of the ‘pancake’ onto the ground. “And it’s not even good bread. What the fuck did you put in here?”

 

Evan stood up and smacked him on the head. “It’s not bread!” he crossed his arms, offended. “And I made it with love, so eat it instead of spitting it out.”

 

Remus, sitting beside Sirius, was chewing a piece of the pancake, humming to himself. “It’s not the worst thing we’ve eaten inside this maze, Sirius,” he said after swallowing a big piece. “Don’t be dramatic.”

 

“Thank you!” Evan exclaimed.  

 

Mary made a disgusted face as she too spat a piece of her breakfast out. “No, I think this is the worst.”

 

Sirius nodded eagerly. “Remus, you’re a fucking liar, that’s what you—Oh, good morning.” His eyes moved to one of the tents, where Regulus and James had finally emerged from.

 

“Ah, the sleeping beauties finally decided to join us,” Marlene said, smirking.

 

“Morning,” James greeted as he stretched and cracked his neck. “You started without us.”

 

”Yeah, well,” Dorcas mumbled with her mouth full of pancakes, “we didn’t know if you guys were busy,” she teased, raising one eyebrow.

 

The others laughed immediately, except from Lily, who stood up and moved closer to James. “How are you feeling?” she asked, checking his temperature with the back of her hand. “Any dizziness? Nausea? Shivers?”

 

James rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, Lily. Thank you.” He sat up around the firepit, leaving one empty spot beside him for Regulus.

 

“You nearly died last night, James.”

 

“And now I’m alive, so let’s all celebrate that instead,” he said smiling, taking a pancake in his hands. Regulus finally sat down next to him, shifting uncomfortably. The amount of teasing he had been enduring that morning was making him feel on edge. James noticed and gently nudged his shoulder. “Alright?” he whispered into Regulus’ ear.

 

Regulus took a small plate and started eating. “Alright,” he whispered back.

 

“Thank you, by the way,” Marlene started, staring at James. “You fell into the water just to help me. Really, I don’t know how to—“ she swallowed, “—just, thank you.”

 

James beamed. “You’re welcome.”

 

As they continued eating, Regulus noticed one person on the other side of the firepit who was unusually quiet.

 

Peter.

 

He wasn’t someone especially loud like Sirius or Barty, but he usually got involved in conversations during meals; the food helped him to ease his shyness. Not today, apparently. He hadn’t even touched one piece of his breakfast, something extremely unusual for him. He was staring at the fire in front of him, face completely blank, until— He moved his eyes to his right, and stared at James. His jaw twitched, Regulus noticing his muscle clenching. He looked… weird. Like he was angry at James.

 

What the fuck is his problem?

 

“What are you looking at, Peter?” Regulus asked bitterly, just to see if Peter had the guts to say what he was thinking.

 

Peter immediately tore his gaze away from James. “Oh, nothing.” He laughed nervously, finally taking a piece of breakfast in his mouth. “Just—spacing out.”

 

Regulus pressed his lips into a thin line.

 

Liar.

 

He was still furious at Peter. Seething. He hadn’t forgotten his disgusting behavior from the day before. Of course he hadn’t. How could he? Peter had explicitly said that James deserved to die. There was no double meaning there. And Regulus wanted to fucking kill him for that. 

 

”About the thing you said yesterday—“ Regulus started, clenching his jaw. 

 

“He’s already apologized, Regulus,” Mary interrupted him, protectively. “Let’s not bring it up again.” 

 

Evan and James both furrowed their brows, confused. “What happened with Peter?” James asked. 

 

“Nothing that’s worth your time,” Regulus clicked his tongue and turned his eyes to Peter, who was looking around uncomfortably. “But I still think you should apologize to James,” Regulus finished, his voice hard.

 

”Regulus—“ Dorcas started, but Peter’s voice cut in first. “It’s fine,” he said. “I’m sorry, James.” He darted his gaze to the ground.

 

James was as confused as ever. “Umh—thanks? Still don’t know what’s going on,” James huffed, embarrassed.

 

Regulus grinned coldly, pulling out his knife and starting to play with it in his hands, locking eyes with Peter. “I genuinely hope you didn’t mean that.”

 

Peter nodded quickly, gulping. “Of course.”

 

Regulus smirked. “Good.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Marlene was in the middle of chewing on a piece of her pancake—or what Evan had insisted was a pancake—when she turned to Regulus, studying him for a moment before speaking. “You know,” she said casually, “when I was passed out after Frank’s attack, I had a weird dream about you, Regulus.”

 

There was a brief pause before Sirius erupted into laughter. “What the fuck, Marls?” 

 

James’ mouth fell open as he let out a dramatic gasp, the remnants of his breakfast falling on the ground. “Why are you having dreams about my boyfriend?”

 

Regulus groaned, glaring at James. “Not your boyfriend,” which only led James to wink at him.

 

Marlene rolled her eyes. “Oh my god, not that kind of dream.”

 

“We don’t believe you, lady,” Evan chuckled.

 

“Anyways,” she raised her voice, ignoring them, “it was weird. Like, really fucking weird. I was passed out in some kind of hospital, or lab, or something, and you were there, Regulus.” She narrowed her eyes in concentration, probably to think better. “You were standing over me,” she continued, “and you had a syringe. You—you injected me with something.”

 

Every single face in the camp suddenly turned serious.

 

Regulus froze, suddenly not finding the dream funny anymore.

 

“Okay,” Mary said, half-laughing, half-perplexed. “That’s fucking weird.”

 

Marlene frowned. “I know, right? It was the weirdest dream ever.”

 

Regulus swallowed hard. His mind briefly shot back to the hallucination he’d had back in the chamber. Was that even an hallucination? It definitely felt like it, but Regulus wasn’t sure anymore, since the hallucination of him and James had actually turned out to be a fucking memory. 

 

Maybe it was just—a coincidence. It could have been, right? Coincidences exist, despite Regulus not really believing in them. Like James saying his name on the first day in the maze. That definitely turned out to not be a coincidence.

 

His heart started randomly racing. Why did everything inside this maze always had to lead to him especially? Why couldn’t he have one single day of peace from his own thoughts?

 

“I mean, it was just a dream,” James shrugged, making Regulus come back to his senses. “Who cares, right?”

 

Dreams were so much more than dreams to Regulus. They had been following and hunting him since day one. But Marlene wasn’t Regulus, and Regulus wasn’t Marlene, so yes. 

 

It was just a dream.

 

Dorcas stretched her arms above her head, letting out a satisfied sigh. “Well, at least we won’t starve today. We’ve got enough food to last us until tomorrow.”

 

Pandora nodded, finishing off the last of her pancake. “Yeah, but we should go hunting or foraging first thing in the morning tomorrow.”

 

Evan groaned, flopping dramatically onto the ground. “Ugh. Can’t we just live off these delicious not-bread pancakes forever?”

 

“Yeah, absolutely fucking not,” Sirius deadpanned, kicking him lightly. “We’d fucking die.”

 

Evan flipped his middle finger to him. “I’m never cooking shit for you guys again.”

 

“Thank God,” Sirius replied, winking. 

 

Lily cleared her throat, turning the conversation to things that actually mattered. “Speaking of things we need to do—should we go and see if the rune on the door has disappeared too?”

 

“Might as well check,” Dorcas replied. 

 

Pandora nodded. “We’ll go tomorrow after the search then.”

 

A collective murmur of agreement followed.

 

“Yeah,” Mary said, leaning back on her elbows, grinning at everyone. “Let’s have a day off today. No searches, no arguments, just—us.”

 

For the first time in what felt like forever, the entire group was okay. No injuries, no one dying from the cold, no test looming over them. It was just them. Twelve people inside one maze. All different, but all equally essential. A team, despite everything. A family, some might even say. Because that’s what they were. They argued, made fun of each other, but never left someone behind. And deep down, they knew that they never would.

 

“What do people even do for fun in a death maze?” Peter said after a long pause.

 

“Should we just—” Barty began, but Evan cut him off before he could finish. “If you’re going to suggest Truth or Dare again, I will murder you.”

 

“Also,” Sirius added, turning his head toward Regulus, wiping some fake tears from his cheeks, “we don’t want Regulus to start crying again in the middle of the game.”

 

“Fuck you, Sirius,” Regulus spat, blushing slightly at the thought that he had actually cried because the song reminded him of James. Not that they knew, obviously. No one had to find that out. Besides James, clearly.

 

Sirius smirked, sending him a flying kiss.

 

“Oh my God, guys!” Pandora screamed, vibrating with energy as she clapped her hands together. “Snow! We have the snow! Should we build a snowman?”

 

“Absolutely not,” Regulus deadpanned. “Yes,” Sirius said at the exact same time, eyes lighting up with childish glee.

 

Pandora grinned. “That’s two votes for yes!”

 

Dorcas looked skeptical. “Dora, how old are we?”

 

Pandora waved a hand dismissively. “Well, we actually don’t know, so.”

 

Mary snorted. “Well, we’re certainly not six.”

 

Sirius was already on his feet. “Who fucking cares about age?” he exclaimed, dragging Remus from one arm, obligating him to stand up. “C’mon! It’ll be fun.”

 

Remus sighed, standing up. “Fine. But if this turns into a full-on snowball fight, I’m hiding inside a tent.”

 

Regulus groaned. He didn’t like the snow. It was wet, and cold and wet and—“Stop trying to convince yourself that you don’t want to do this,” James whispered beside him. “I know you want.”

 

“I’m not doing it, Jame—“ Sirius was suddenly in front of them, grabbing one of Regulus’ arms and pushing to get him off of the ground. “C’mon Reggie. Stand up, up up!”

 

Regulus shoved him off immediately, his stomach twisting at the nickname. Reggie? No one had ever called him that way. “What did you just call me?” 

 

Sirius looked just as confused as he did, not even realizing what he had just said. “Oh. I’m sorry,” he said, furrowing his brows. “It just—slipped out, I guess.”

 

They stared into each other’s eyes before James cleared his throat, finally standing up. He offered his hand to Regulus, waiting for him to stand up. “Like the old times?” James said, grinning.

 

Regulus knew exactly what he meant. 

 

We used to play in the snow together. 

 

And Regulus wanted to remember. Despite everything, despite his mind telling him to be careful, the only thing that was certain in his life was that Regulus wanted to remember James. Remember them, or at least feel one percent of the emotions he felt in the past with him.

 

So he took James’ hand and stood up, ready to play in the snow with him for the first—or not first—time again.

 

”Alright!” Pandora exclaimed. “Where do we start?”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Building a snowman with twelve people wasn’t exactly… practical. Arguments about roles and decisions erupted pretty quickly. Some, like Regulus and Mary, wanted to make it small, still not quite in the mood like the others. Others, like Sirius and Barty,  wanted to make it gigantic. “It could scare the Dementors away,” Barty had said in an all-too-serious tone. Evan had laughed so hard he fell into the snow, face completely buried.

 

In the end, they had opted for a medium-sized snowman to make everyone satisfied. They started from the bottom, obviously, gathering as much snow as they possibly could. Everyone had a specific role in the making, exactly like they did in the maze. They’d certainly spent too much time organizing things in the past month, so now they sort of felt—obligated to arrange everything as well as they could, even the stupidest things. Like building a snowman.

 

Sirius looked like a child, his eyes glistening with happiness as he threw snowballs at every single person that was trying to build the snowman in peace. Some just pretended not to notice—like Lily and Remus, who played it off with a smile, rolling their eyes fondly as they removed the snow from their hair.

 

Others didn’t.

 

He had tried throwing one at Regulus, but as he raised his arm, ready to lunge, Regulus had threatened him to cut his hair to zero while he slept. And Sirius cared too much about his hair to take the risk. So he changed victims, hitting one snowball in Barty’s face, then another at Evan.

 

“You’re dead,” Barty had yelled, completely forgetting about the snowman and starting relentlessly to pelt Sirius with snowballs as he ran around the camp screaming. One, in particular, managed to land right in Sirius’ mouth just as he was laughing, almost suffocating him. The group had never laughed so much before.

 

Even Regulus, who didn’t really enjoy the feeling of snow in his hands, laughed. He laughed and laughed and—he didn’t even know he was capable of laughing that much.

 

They all were. They were happy. They were okay. That was what mattered.

 

Regulus’ gaze drifted from the half-made snowman to James. His black curls were completely covered in snow, and somehow, his eyes looked even bluer that day. It looked like a scene from a dream, something he had only ever watched from afar. And yet, it felt like a déjà vu.

 

Like something he had already lived.

 

James turned his eyes to him, probably feeling watched. Their eyes locked.

 

Blue against blue.

Ice against ice.

 

James smiled at him, and instinctively, Regulus smiled back. And somehow—deep inside him—he knew that that hadn’t been the first time he’d done that.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

“Should we give him a name?” Pandora asked as she looked at the newly finished snowman. It had taken them forever to finish it. Naturally, they blamed Sirius and his endless interruptions. They placed it near one of the tents, a bit far from the firepit to make sure it wouldn’t melt. 

 

“A name?” Barty said, brushing the snow from his hands. “Weren’t the buttons and my carrot enough?,” he huffed, “that could’ve been a meal.”

 

“I mean, we’ve come this far already,” Remus said, proudly looking at the snowman. He had been one of most active in the process, enjoying the small moments of peace with the others. He knew they were precious and wouldn’t last long. “We might as well name him,” he continued, staring straight into the button eyes. “Any suggestions?”

 

“Kevin?”

 

“Steve???”

 

“Oh, oh—Oliver!”

 

“These all fucking suck,” Mary said, exasperated, crossing her arms on her chest. She couldn’t wait for the day to finally end. “They’re not snowman names.”

 

They all started staring at each other’s faces, thinking hard, hoping someone would finally come up with a fitting name. Whatever fitting meant, anyway.

 

After a while, James cleared his throat. “What do you guys think of—Teddy?”

 

It sounded… fitting. Definitely better than any other name they had come up before.

 

“I like it!” Pandora exclaimed, clapping her hands.

 

Murmurs of agreement followed. “It fits,” Evan nodded.

 

“Teddy it is, then,” Sirius said, gently patting the snow. “Hello, Teddy. Welcome to the maze. You probably won’t enjoy it.”

 

“I mean,” Barty began as he flopped down to the ground, utterly exhausted from the snowball fights. “He probably will enjoy it more than us.”

 

The others followed him down to the snowy ground, stilling for a moment. Even during their fun days they always ended up completely tired out. Their hands were red from the continuous handling of snow, so they reluctantly moved closer to the fire to warm up.

 

James, still sprawled on the ground, propped himself up on one elbow and suddenly sat up a little straighter. “ Guys,” he said, a little out of breath, “I have something for you.”

 

The entire group turned to look at him, their attention full on him. “For us?” Sirius raised one eyebrow.

 

James reached into the inside pocket of his jacket, fingers searching for something, and then he pulled out—

 

A bar of chocolate.

 

“WHAT.”

 

Sirius lurched forward, throwing himself back on the ground, reaching for James and the bar of chocolate. “Where the fuck did you get that?!”

 

James just grinned, the absolute bastard. “I’ve had it in my pocket since the day I got here,” he chuckled. “Was waiting for the right moment to eat it, but I guess this is it.”

 

Marlene gaped at him, completely offended. “You mean to tell me that you’ve had chocolate in your pocket this whole time—this whole time—and you didn’t say anything?”

 

James raised his hands in defense. “I mean, I didn’t eat it,” he declared, “I saved it for all of us, you guys should be happy.” He was full on laughing now, Sirius still sprawled over him staring at the bar as if it was a treasure.

 

Then, finally, he stood up, throwing Sirius backward, and started breaking the bar into pieces. The chocolate was slightly broken from being tucked away for so long, but they honestly didn’t care. They were about to eat something different from the usual bread and meat they’d been eating for over a month, and most of all—it was chocolate. Everyone loved chocolate.

 

Mary moaned obscenely as she bit her first piece, practically melting into the snow. “This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten in my life.”

 

“My pancakes were better,” Evan said as he slowly took the piece James was handing to him.

 

“You fucking wish,” Barty’s voice was muffled by the chocolate in his mouth. Remus hummed beside him, savoring the taste of chocolate on his tongue. “Jesus,” he whispered, “I forgot how much I loved chocolate.”

 

James grinned satisfied. He liked making other people happy. He finished his turn to give everyone a fair block of the chocolate and then sat back down beside Regulus.

 

Regulus had been extremely quiet ever since James had brought up the chocolate. He remembered the conversation he had with James inside the tent two days ago, after Regulus found out about their relationship.

 

You love chocolate. 

 

I don’t remember the taste of it.

 

James nudged him a bit. “Eat,” he smiled softly. “I know you like it.”

 

Did he actually?

 

Regulus hesitated for only a moment longer before he carefully brought the chocolate to his lips. It felt sweet on his tongue, and oddly—familiar. A familiar taste. He quickly took another bite, closing his eyes and enjoying the sweet flavor. 

 

Yes, he thought. He definitely loved chocolate.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Time slipped away fast, and soon, the stars appeared overhead. One by one, they retreated toward their tents, murmuring quiet goodnights, their voices laced with a rare kind of happiness.

 

By the time the fire was burning low, only a few remained outside. They gave a double turn in the tents to Evan and James, making sure they wouldn’t spend another freezing night outiside. They’d been overly smug about it.

 

Regulus was still cross-legged around the firepit, his head turned to the stars above him. He had missed them the night before. He felt James’ stare beside him, and his stomach curled a little. Slowly, he turned his eyes to him. “What?” Regulus asked him softly. 

 

And James just stared at him. And stared. And stared. Regulus noticed his eyes moving from his eyes, to his hair, to his lips. ”I can’t believe you’re here,” James whispered. 

 

Regulus laughed. Maybe he didn’t use to be the most embarrassing one in their relationship. “Alright James,” he chuckled. 

 

James didn’t laugh. Didn’t fire back, or make a joke. Instead, he kept his eyes focused on him. 

 

And Regulus stared back. Because. Because he could. Because he had felt so much that day—so many emotions he was still trying to grasp. Even his mind had surrendered—his heart was so full, so warm, that no thoughts could ever stop it.

 

“Do you think that maybe—the chocolate in your pocket was for me?” he asked James after a long pause. 

 

James slowly lifted his head from his knees, his smile turning into a thinking expression. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “But I think so.”

 

Regulus hummed, feeling the corners of his mouth lift unconsciously. He took one final glance at the stars in the sky and then stood up, walking toward the tent they had shared the night before.

 

A powerful mind was always destined to lose against an even more powerful heart.

 

Just as he was about to step inside, he paused, looking back at James.

 

“Are you coming?”

 

James didn’t need to be asked twice.

Notes:

Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish.

Chapter 13: The Butterfly

Remus had always considered himself a pretty clever boy. 

 

Not that he had any proof of that cleverness, to be clear. No memories of his studies; his job. He didn’t remember whether he’d been in college or already working. Sometimes, he’d start spiraling to Sirius about mathematical equations and theories about the cosmos, leaving him utterly speechless in disbelief.

 

His own group had declared him as the cleverest of them all, while others fought hard to rebound it. Barty was a firm believer that Regulus was the smartest at camp, though everyone had argued that he was clearly biased. 

 

Remus had never truly cared about the title; vanity didn’t belong to his character. 

 

Though he agreed about his brain being a small precious jewel, he never put himself above others.

 

Never.

 

In the month spent in the maze, he had been the one to come up with theories about the real reason behind it the most. Most of them circled around experiments. 

 

However, when the tests had started, that theory had stopped making sense; his friends had begun thinking that they were some pawns inside a sick game that some rich old men were watching. 

 

He laughed briefly to himself as he remembered Sirius and Mary arguing over bets.

 

Despite these multiple theories, the thoughts that kept tormenting Remus that night weren’t really related to the purpose of the maze. More to—its nature.

 

He sat around the firepit, watching the dying fire in front of him, completely lost in thought. There was something that had been bugging him—something he felt was way more important than to find out why they were here. 

 

“Can’t sleep?” he jolted upright as he heard the voice behind him. There was a soft thud beside him, followed by a quiet chuckle. He didn’t even have to turn his head to know who it was.

 

“Shit, Lils.” He put one hand on his heart, faking a stroke. “Don’t ever do that again.”

 

Lily laughed under her breath, careful not to wake the others sleeping around the firepit. “What are you doing awake?” she asked, watching him carefully. “You love to sleep.”

 

He did. Which was hard, since Sirius loved to wake up early, forcing him to do the same. That was the reason why Sirius had started calling him “Moony” or “Moons”; they both loved the night. 

 

He shrugged. “Just thinking.” That made Lily laugh even more. “Yeah, when do you never,” she grinned. 

 

Remus just rolled his eyes. 

 

Lily watched him for a few seconds before she spoke again. “I know you like the back of my hand, you know?” she whispered. “You’re still thinking about the maze, aren’t you?”

 

“Not exactly,” Remus announced.

 

Lily frowned, clearly not getting it. “What do you mean?”

 

Remus took a deep breath before answering. “I was thinking about Regulus.” 

 

The night stilled for a moment.

 

Lily gaped at him, and at the same time, she widened her eyes. She looked like Remus had just told her the most shocking, unbelievable news ever. “I thought you liked Sirius?!” she gasped.

 

Remus mirrored her stunned expression.

 

What?

 

“Not thinking like that, Lily!” Their voices raised so much that they noticed Mary grunting loudly, almost waking up because of them.

 

They locked gazes for a moment before bursting out into laughter. “God, I missed this,” Lily wiped a tear from her cheek. “I missed you. I feel like I haven’t spent a moment with you in—days.” She pouted.

 

Remus nodded, curling his lips. “Yeah, I know,” he breathed out. “It's been crazy ever since James got here.” 

 

Lily agreed. “Also—,” she raised one eyebrow, “—you’ve been spending too much time with Sirius. I’m jealous,” she pouted even more. “I genuinely hope you’ve kissed him at this point.”

 

A small blush appeared on Remus’ cheeks. “Have not.” He scoffed. “But we did talk the other day—I sort of… confessed my feelings?” he chuckled, embarrassed. “I don’t think he got the hint though.”

 

“Mmm..maybe he did,” Lily started, pointing her face up as if she was thinking. “He just doesn’t have the courage to do anything about it. I had to do everything with Dora,” she said casually.

 

Remus furrowed his brows. “What do you mean ‘everything’” 

 

Lily just smirked. 

 

“Oh my god! Did something happen? When?! How!” Remus exclaimed. 

 

Lily grinned. “I kissed her,” she said proudly. Like—ten minutes ago? I came outside because I was too overwhelmed.” Her voice was a perfect mix of thrillness and disbelief. 

 

“Shit Lils,” Remus shook his head with a smile. “I’m proud of you.”

 

Lily nudged his shoulder softly. “Thanks,” she whispered; her eyes were sparkling with joy.

 

A small smile spread across Remus’ lips. “I’m happy for you, you know?” he said gently. 

 

He truly was. Lily had been his very first friend here in the maze. He loved how passionate and thoughtful she was, always ready to help the next. She felt comfortable to him, like a best friend he didn’t know he had in the past. She was extremely clever too, so they sometimes shared some small fragments they recalled about things they’d learnt in the past. Remus always joked around with her, telling her that in the past she probably was studying to become a doctor or a nurse, since she always carried a small medical kit around. 

 

She smiled back at him. “I know,” she murmured. “You’re next, boy.” She wiggled her brows and then cleared her throat. “But anyways, what was the thing you said about Regulus?” Her expression turned more serious now, shifting from joyful to curious.

 

Remus exhaled, passing his fingers through his brown hair. “Right,” he cleared his throat. “I’ve been—thinking, or at least trying to. Piecing together some puzzles that—honestly? I don’t even know if they piece together,” he laughed. “It’s just… theories.”

 

Lily didn’t interrupt him, so he continued. “Why is it that when something happens, he’s always involved in some way?” He threw his arms up in frustration. “First James, then the symbol glowing, the butterfly, Frank, and now Marlene—I mean, how has one else noticed but me?” 

 

Lily pressed her lips into a thin line, mind working nonstop. “I mean, Marlene’s dream was just a dream, Remus.”

 

“Alright, remove the dream. How do you explain everything else?” he asked. “It feels like the maze—it reacts to him. Knows him. They know him,” he said pointing at the sky. Lily knew exactly who he meant.

 

“Maybe he’s just—unlucky?” Lily shrugged. “I don’t get where you’re going with this, Remus.”

 

Remus sighed. He didn’t either, to be honest. 

 

Too many questions and not enough answers. 

 

Frustrating, really. 

 

The nagging thoughts about Regulus hadn’t come out of nowhere. Ever since the rune lit up at his touch the first time, something had felt… wrong. Strange. Definitely not normal, since it had happened to him only.

 

And as everything else regarding Regulus and the maze unfolded, the questions had just intensified for Remus. 

 

Every event that had led them here seemed to always point to the same answer: Regulus.

 

It could’ve been a coincidence once, or twice, but always? That was oddly unlucky.

 

Regardless of all of this, Remus couldn’t make out a clear answer. Not about the maze, not about its connection with Regulus. Nothing.

 

Maybe he just wasn’t as clever as everyone thought.

 

“Listen,” Lily said after a while, standing up. “I’m going back to sleep.” She gently ruffled his hair. “Try to sleep, yes? Your brain is going to explode if you keep making it work like that.”

 

Remus swallowed, but eventually nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.” He smiled faintly. “Good night,” he whispered. “Tell that to Pandora too.”

 

She smiled and gave him one last caress before retreating back to her tent. Remus zipped his jacket up to his nose, and then laid his back on the snow beneath him. But as he closed his eyes, he didn’t fall asleep. His brain kept working. And working. And working.

 

When he finally managed to sleep, the sun had already started rising.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

When Regulus woke up, James was still deep asleep beside him.

 

He had a small pout on his lips, and his dark curls covered almost half of his face. His shirt was faintly rolled up, revealing his v-line and happy trail. 

 

Regulus’ mouth watered at the sight. It was easier now, admitting to himself how frustratingly gorgeous James was, with his mind completely shut down. He  had always noticed, of course. Ever since the very first day he had seen him all bloody and hurt, lost in the maze, Regulus had thought that James was unfairly handsome.

 

But seeing him now, taking in every single detail of his face—it was different.

 

Regulus couldn’t believe he had once been his. 

 

He had always tried to fight the urge to touch him, afraid of what might unravel inside him if he did. But Regulus wasn’t scared anymore. No voices were telling him to stop, to be careful. Not after what he had felt the day prior. He wanted to relive those feelings, to discover them all over again. 

 

If his mind wasn’t capable of remembering, then his heart and body would be.

 

He slowly raised his hand, hovering it close to James’ face. After a beat of hesitation, he gave in, and gently began caressing James’ cheek.

 

Every caress of his thumb sent a shiver through his body. A feeling of knowing—of remembering.

 

And it felt right. Like he belonged there. 

 

Fuck you, he thought, talking to his mind. 

 

He couldn’t believe he had wasted so much time just because of his stupid intrusive thoughts.

 

After a couple more caresses, he felt James purr beneath his touch. “Good morning,” James said, his voice rough from sleep. 

 

“Morning,” Regulus whispered back, not stopping the movement of his fingers. 

 

James hummed contentedly for a minute longer, before finally opening his eyes. “You know,” he started, “I’m so glad Barty kissed you.”

 

Regulus’ hand froze in place.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“I mean—“ James cleared his throat, understanding how weird that had sounded. “If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have had a jealous outburst, and I probably would have never confessed about—remembering. And we wouldn’t be here,” he blurted out. “Please keep doing whatever you were doing with your hand.”

 

Regulus curled his lips, thinking. “I mean,” he said as he resumed his movements on James’ face. “I did see us in the chamber that day. I would’ve probably asked you about it.”

 

“And I would have lied,” James smiled sadly, his eyes closing. “I would have told you that you were hallucinating.” 

 

“I wouldn’t have believed you,” Regulus simply replied. His fingers kept tracing every corner of James’ face, the urge to rediscover him taking over.  He started from the cheeks, then to his eyelids, his brows to his cupid arc. “I felt so much while watching that memory, James. It couldn’t have been fake.” He shook his head. “It couldn’t have.”

 

The shame and fear of feeling exposed had disappeared with his intrusive thoughts. Regulus didn’t care anymore. He just wanted to talk to James. To admit everything he had bottled up in the past few days.

 

He also wanted to listen to him. He wanted to ask him a hundred million questions about their relationship. He wanted to know everything. And he was going to, because there was nothing that could stop him now.

 

James stared at him, his blue eyes studying Regulus’ lips like an hungry man. Regulus noticed, of course; his pounding heart was proof enough.  

 

“You stole my blanket tonight,” James said, beaming at him. “You used to do that too, in the past.”

 

Regulus hummed, his thumb lingering on James’ lips. “Mmh—did I?”

 

James gulped. “Yeah,” he let out a sigh. 

 

They were so close. So fucking close. 

 

One of them just needed to lean in. Just a single inch—and everything would change. 

 

But the loud voices of their friends outside interrupted them, stopping Regulus’ fingers. Reluctantly, he sat upright and moved away from James’ side. “We should probably get out,” he murmured to James, who was frozen in place.

 

James grunted in disapproval. “Ugh—can’t we stay here forever?” he asked as he stretched his arms, making his shirt rise even more. 

 

Regulus swallowed at the vision of his defined abs. How could have he ever thought that he wasn’t a weak man around James? As he stared, he noticed the small line of ink coming out of James’ boxers, the one he had seen the other night. 

 

Curiosity got the best of him.

 

“Do you have a tattoo?” he pointed at the ink on James’ skin. 

 

James furrowed his brows briefly, then smirked, suddenly remembering. “Yeah,” he nodded as he pulled his boxers slightly down, fully showing the tattoo. 

 

Regulus gasped. A small butterfly was inked in James’ pale skin beneath his navel, close to his pube. The design was extremely detailed, with the wings and the antennas being drawn precisely. He furrowed his brows. It looked oddly familiar.

 

“It looks like the butterfly I saw the other day,” he pointed out. 

 

It did. It wasn't as blue as the butterfly of the chamber, but he had spent enough time watching it as it led him around the maze to remember its intricate details. 

 

“Does it?” James asked, looking down at the ink. Then, he smirked. “You know—you’ve kissed it many times before,” he announced cheekily.

 

Regulus blushed instantaneously. “Stop it,” he ordered, throwing the blanket at James’ face, making him laugh brightly. “Sorry, sorry,” he replied. “Enough with the sex talks. Promise.” 

 

Regulus smiled. Just because he could. Just because he wanted to.

 

And mostly, because there was nothing in his head telling him not to.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

“Surprise!” Lily and Pandora yelled in unison.

 

The camp had transformed completely; their old laundry area had been rebuilt, along with their cooking one. Around the fire, comfortable blankets had been placed on the ground, and small plates full of food were stacked over them. 

 

It looked like a miracle.

 

“Is this heaven?” Barty exclaimed, his mouth watering at the vision of real food. “Am I dead? Evan, did we fucking die?” 

 

Evan stood right beside him, his expression awed. “I think so,” he murmured as he took in the scene in front of him. 

 

Lily chuckled lightly. “You’re not dead,” she declared. “I promise.”

 

“Are you sure?” Mary interjected, completely in disbelief, moving closer to the fire and eyeing the breakfast in front of them. “How—how is this possible?”

 

Pandora and Lily shared a knowing look, and then sat back down over one of the blankets. “We wanted to celebrate,” Pandora replied, grinning.

 

Barty frowned. “Celebrate what?” he asked. “The fact that we’re still alive?”

 

Lily and Pandora laughed brightly at his confusion. “We’ll say when everyone wakes up,” Lily simply told him, taking a small plate in her hands.

 

As everyone slowly woke up, emerging from the tents or stirring around the fire, the camp finally came to life again. Every reaction had been the same; people gasping in disbelief, looking for answers. Some (like Peter) threw themselves directly at the food, while others wept at the sight of their camp having returned like it used to. 

 

They’d never admit it, but they’d grown fond of it; it was their small house, after all. 

 

“So,” Sirius started, his mouth full of biscuits and juice, (a great fucking breakfast, he’d called it), “care to say how this happened and—why?” 

 

Peter nodded eagerly, taking another piece of bread with jam in his hands and devouring it in a second. “Not that we’re complaining, mind you.”

 

“We woke up early and went on a search,” Lily announced as she was handing out pieces of bread around the firepit. She stopped in front of James and gave him two. “You and Evan should eat more,” she whispered softly. James beamed at her and thanked her. 

 

Pandora was giving out juice instead, making sure everyone got a fair share. “We thought it might speed things up—so we can directly go to the door today and check the rune,” she declared.

 

“Also—,” Lily continued, “—there’s something we need to tell you.” She sat back down in her spot, Pandora doing the same and sitting right beside her. 

 

The group’s attention was completely on them now, as curious gazes studied them. And since Lily wasn’t one for big speeches and announcements, she simply took her hand to Pandora’s cheek and kissed her. 

 

Just like that, in front of everyone.

 

The reaction was immediate, obviously.

 

“Holy shit!” Evan stood up abruptly. “Since when?!”

 

“Dora! You didn’t say anything!” Dorcas yelled.

 

“Fuck you, Lily. Why didn’t you tell us?” Marlene asked furiously, crossing her arms.

 

They laughed at the group’s reaction. Honestly, they  weren’t even sure when whatever had been happening between them had started to grow into something more. They’d been sleeping next to each other by the fire every chance they got, but there hadn’t really been a big talk about feelings or anything else—fair enough, since they were trying to survive inside a death maze.

 

But last night, something had shifted.

 

They had decided to share a tent, since Lily had given up her turn to make Evan sleep in warmth one night more. And well, things just—escalated from there. Lily had been brave enough to finally do something about the endless shared looks and lingering touches, and decided to kiss her. 

 

Pandora had kissed her back, clearly, and now they were—something. 

 

Nothing official, they hadn't talked about titles yet. But they were something. Something special.

 

“It happened tonight,” Pandora whispered happily. “Didn’t seem like the right moment to wake everyone up yelling about it.” She chuckled, watching the frowns on her friends' faces. “I swear, Barty! Don’t look at me like that,” she said, pointing at Barty’s angry expression. 

 

Remus smirked and cleared his throat. “I mean—,” he announced. “I knew.”

 

“WHAT!” Sirius yelled, standing up so abruptly that he made the piece of bread in his hand fall into the snow. “Lily! Why did he know?”

 

Mary rushed to Lily’s side, giving her a gentle scoff. “Yeah, Lily. Why did Remus know?” Her eyes were narrowed, judging. 

 

Lily knew her stupid, loving friends weren’t actually offended and just loved being overly dramatic, so she raised her hands in a mocking way. “He was already awake, so I just told him. I solemnly swear,” she proclaimed, making a cross sign above her heart. 

 

“We’re over, Lily,” Marlene told her, shaking her head. “Sirius, kick her out of the group. Now.”

 

Sirius dramatically got on his knees, taking a branch from the firepit and pointing it at Lily. He cleared his throat before speaking. “By the power vested in me, as leader of the best group in this camp,” he said, making a voice, “I hereby ban you from this congregation.”

 

A beat of silence followed, and then—a bark of laughter. 

 

People were laughing, crying, collapsing on the snowy ground from how hard they laughed. The cups with the juice fell into the snow, staining it a strange shade of red.

 

It was a mess.

 

They were a mess.

 

A beautiful, peaceful mess.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Sirius cleared his throat, getting everyone’s attention. “What’s the plan for today?”

 

After Lily and Pandora’s revelation, the group had gradually calmed down, finishing the last bits of breakfast. They quickly got rid of the dishes, and were now all sitting crossed-legged around the firepit, deciding which route to take next. 

 

They knew they had to check the door, but one small problem had come up: their maps had been swallowed by the frozen lake, and they had no reliable way to navigate through the maze.

 

Regulus sat beside James, toying with the snow beneath his blanket. It was soft and cold against his fingers. He liked picking up small handfuls and gently crumbling them. He honestly never thought snow could be something he enjoyed. To be fair, he never thought he could love chocolate that much either. But after the day prior, a lot of things had changed. 

 

“Does anyone remember the way to the door?” Remus asked, placing his elbows on his legs. 

 

Barty timidly raised his hand. “I think I do,” he said, then swallowed. “After we went to look for Regulus, I sort of… memorized it.” He kept his eyes straight to Remus’, making sure they never darted to Regulus. 

 

Regulus knew why. 

 

It was hard, this distance between them. They’d been side by side from the very beginning of this nightmare, and even though only a couple of days had passed, he already missed him.

 

Still, he respected Barty’s decision. If time is what he needed, Regulus would give it to him. 

 

They’d be okay, eventually. At least, that’s what Regulus hoped for.

 

“Alright,” Sirius stood up, rubbing his hands. “Let’s gather some water and food, then we head out.” He moved to the newly built laundry area, getting some gloves for his freezing hands. “If we’re lucky, we’ll be back before dinner.”

 

Mary stretched her legs and arms, groaning loudly. “Jesus, I’m still so fucking tired.” She cracked her back loudly. “Do you guys mind if I stay back here and watch over the camp?”

 

Regulus stood, shaking his hands to remove the remnants of the snow, “It’s fine,” he said. “James and Evan are staying back too.”

 

“Excuse me???”

 

“What?!”

 

James rushed next to him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?” he asked, grabbing Regulus’ arm tightly. “Reg, I’m not staying back.”

 

“Yeah, me neither,” Evan added quickly.

 

Regulus shot them both a look and scoffed. “You literally almost died—like, two days ago,” he said, removing James’ hand from his arm. “You need to rest.” He looked directly at James’ eyes as he said those last words.

 

“I’m not staying here if you’re going,” James insisted. “I’m not.” 

 

They stared at each other’s eyes for a beat longer, before Dorcas interrupted them. “I’m with Regulus, honestly,” she said, stepping beside Evan. “Just—stay here and wait for us. Nothing is going to happen anyway. We’ll just check and come back.” 

 

Evan sighed, resigned; James didn’t. 

 

He stepped closer to Regulus and gently cupped his cheeks with his hands. “Please,” James pleaded. “I don’t feel comfortable leaving your side. Even if it’s for a little while.”

 

In the state he was in, Regulus was dangerously close to giving in, making James come with them. Their faces were only inches apart, their breaths mingling. And Regulus couldn’t think properly. 

 

But James' well-being was important to him, as he had already established. So he stayed firm on his decision. He gently took James’ hands in his, and whispered. “We’ll be quick, I promise.”

 

James closed his eyes, defeated. He swallowed a hard lump in his throat. “Alright,” he simply said.

 

They stepped apart, and Regulus began getting ready with the others. 

 

As they reached the edge of the camp, near the first corridor of the maze, Marlene turned back to James and shouted, “Don’t worry, lover boy!” She winked. “We’ll take care of him!”

 

Regulus rolled his eyes, taking her by the arm and pushing her toward the corridor as she cackled. He glanced back one last time; James was still watching him with a pout on his lips. 

 

Regulus turned, and ran a bit to catch up with the others that were ahead of him.

 

He smiled to himself. 

 

That boy was going to be the end of him.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The ground of the maze was still covered in snow; it hadn’t snowed that night, and the sun was shining overhead, but oddly enough, the snow wouldn’t melt. 

 

They added it to the list of strange things that happened inside that hellhole.  

 

Barty was leading the way with Sirius and Remus, his eyes narrowed in concentration as he tried to remember the way to the door. Regulus stood in the middle with Lily and Pandora, keeping an eye on Peter, who was walking in silence as usual. 

 

Despite the apologies of the day prior, Regulus was still wary of him.

 

Dorcas decided to close the group at the end; she wasn’t really in the mood for talking. That ended quickly, though, as Marlene decided to start walking beside her. 

 

“Hello,” Marlene told her with a genuine smile on her lips. “You’re oddly silent.”

 

Dorcas raised one brow. “You’re keeping track of what I do, Marlene?” 

 

Marlene laughed.

 

“You wish,” she grinned.

 

Dorcas blushed slightly. She did. Not that she had any courage to say it, obviously. It had always been  like this in their group, she noticed. 

 

There was—a pattern.

 

Barty and his feelings for Regulus, Evan’s for Barty, Dorcas’ for Marlene. None of them had ever been brave enough to do anything about it. Or well, Barty had, just not in the right circumstances. 

 

Dorcas was extremely proud of Pandora, too, for that reason. She had broken the endless cycle; the one where they were so overwhelmed by their feelings, that they couldn’t do anything about it.

 

She was also proud of Regulus. She had noticed his change in behavior ever since the accident with James had happened, though the situation was different.

 

But still. It seemed like him and James were going in the right direction. And as much as she felt bad for Barty, she was happy to see Regulus in a total different light.

 

Alive, even. In a way she’d never seen before. She would thank James for that later.

 

“You know,” Marlene said after a while, “I’ve never had the chance to properly thank you.”

 

Dorcas glanced at her confused.

 

“Thank me?” she asked. “Thank me for what?”

 

Marlene beamed. “Sirius told me that—when I was passed out you—took care of me,” she muttered.

 

Realization hit Dorcas. 

 

Shit.

 

She coughed a bit, clearly embarrassed. Heat bloomed in her cheeks; she hoped it was just the sun touching her face. 

 

“Oh, yes,” she laughed awkwardly. 

 

“Why?” Marlene asked. “Why did you do it?”

 

Because, Dorcas thought. Because. Because. 

 

She wavered. She honestly couldn’t find the words.

 

Marlene kept talking. “We haven’t really—talked that much, in the month spent here, so I was just wondering. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

 

“I’m not uncomfortable!” Dorcas raised her voice unconsciously, making her blush deepen even more. She took a deep breath and continued. “I don’t know why I did it—,” she breathed, “—but I just, felt responsible, I guess?” 

 

Marlene watched her, studying her face.

 

“I know we haven’t really had the time to—properly get to know one another. And our two groups have spent more time fighting than eating together, honestly.” Dorcas laughed. “But we’re a team, after all. We protect each other. We take care of each other. That’s why I did it, Marlene.”

 

It made sense, as an answer. 

 

A feeling of protection toward a member of a community. Like a wild animal protecting its family. 

 

But despite being such a great and reasonable response, Dorcas knew it wasn’t the real one. 

 

Marlene’s lips curled down a bit. 

 

Maybe she was expecting a different answer. Dorcas wasn’t sure.

 

“Well, still. Thank you,” Marlene repeated. She took a deep breath and spoke again. “But—just so you know,” she continued. “I would have done the same for you.”

 

The statement landed right in Dorcas’ chest. She parted her lips; maybe to speak, maybe just for the shock of the declaration.

 

Or maybe to scream. To yell at Marlene all the things she had been feeling; how she had completely lost her mind for her. 

 

Instead, she didn’t say anything. 

 

Marlene patted her gently on the shoulder, and then moved forward, throwing her arm around Peter’s shoulder, making him jolt in surprise. 

 

Marlene laughed, her blonde hair glowing under the sunlight. She was radiant. A radiant beauty.

 

Dorcas watched her. 

 

And kept watching her for the rest of the walk. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Barty’s memory had proven extremely valuable.

 

After just a couple of hours, they had reached the door. It stood high above them, just like the last time. 

 

“Shit, Barts,” Dorcas exclaimed. “How the fuck did you do that?”

 

Barty shrugged. “Don’t know. I have a photographic memory I guess.” He grinned smugly. 

 

Sirius smirked back. “So much for having a great memory and not remembering anything about your past,” he said, throwing an arm over his shoulders, winking playfully.

 

“Very funny,” Barty deadpanned. 

 

The laughter died as all gazes turned to the door in front of them. Their eyes immediately landed at the center of the exit; or what they hoped was the exit. 

 

The red circle had completely vanished—just like the ones on the walls. At the center of the door, just a straight line remained.

 

“One test, guys,” Sirius declared. “Shit—I can’t believe this.”

 

“I genuinely hope this thing will actually open when we finish all three,” Lily said, crossing her arms. 

 

Remus hummed beside her. “It’d be weird for it to not open—I think it will.”

 

“Okay smart boy,” Sirius smiled. “We’ll trust you then.” 

 

Remus grinned at the nickname.

 

As the others talked, Regulus stood in front of the door, watching it. The weird pull he felt toward the symbol was still there; definitely fainter, but still there. He still couldn’t understand why the maze seemed so connected to him and his mind. The thoughts about James had stopped, but the ones about the maze? They definitely didn’t. 

 

“Everything alright, Regulus?” Remus asked him, walking right beside him. Regulus turned to look at him. His eyes glistened with something; worry, maybe. Or curiosity. Regulus couldn’t understand. 

 

He gulped and nodded. “Sure,” he answered. 

 

Remus watched him more, his glistening eyes studying his face. 

 

Regulus felt oddly uncomfortable. 

 

“Are you still hearing voices?” Remus continued.

 

Regulus clenched his jaw. He knew that Remus was an exceptionally clever guy; he must’ve noticed the way the maze seemed to pull at him. 

 

There had been too many hints. 

 

And maybe this was the right time. The right time to finally open up with the others about everything. About the questions he had, the doubts. 

 

Him opening up with James had just been the first step forward. 

 

He felt, in some odd ways, that he could now trust those people. 

 

Trust them enough to show some small weaknesses; not all of them, obviously. But maybe talking about his doubts with Remus, or whoever was willing to listen to him, would clear some of these doubts in his head.

 

He was ready. He was.

 

Regulus opened his mouth to speak when a sharp chill went through the entirety of his body. It felt like an ice cube sliding through his dorsal spine.

 

He turned his body around; a brutal force slammed him against the stone door, gripping him tightly by the neck. He heard a terrifying crack coming from his back. He must’ve broken a bone.

 

He opened his eyes and locked gaze with—nothing. 

 

A dark figure with no eyes, no face. 

 

A Dementor. 

 

A Dementor was clutching his throat so hard Regulus couldn’t breathe anymore. His heart was slamming against his chest.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his friends yelling, jumping desperately to reach him. But Regulus was too far up in the air, so they couldn’t. 

 

He had never thought about death before—not in the life he remembered, anyway.

 

Is it better to transform into a death creature or—die?

 

He didn’t have an answer. 

 

The Dementor in front of him suddenly opened its mouth. 

 

Regulus felt nothing at first beside the piercing pain around his neck. He was suffocating. He was. 

 

Seconds later, an even more violent and excruciating pain hit him on the head. Similar to the pain he had felt in the chamber when the memory had come back to him, but ten times more intense. He felt like a hundred million voices were screaming inside his mind, like someone had just lit up a fire inside his skull. 

 

He couldn’t even scream; the grip on his throat was too tight.

 

He felt like he was dying, and maybe he was. 

 

He couldn’t make out what was happening around him, the screams of the others muffled by the pain inside his brain. 

 

The Dementor kept the hold for a second longer before dropping him to the ground. Another agonizing ache hit his body. He didn’t know if the Dementor had gone away. Maybe it had. He honestly didn’t care. 

 

He wanted to scream from the pain, but he couldn’t.

 

Even his heart had gone quiet. He was definitely dying.

 

He couldn’t even open his eyes. He felt people gently touching him, talking to him. 

 

He heard Sirius screaming. Or maybe not; his ears were ringing. 

 

He wanted to cry.

 

He wanted James. 

 

Where’s James? 

 

James was waiting for him. Regulus told him he’d be back soon. He regretted not allowing him to come.

 

Some words became more clear. People were calling his name. One person was crying. 

 

“Where’s the other vial?!” someone shouted.

 

“Got get James! Now!”

 

After that, there was only darkness.

Notes:

Deep End - Ruelle.

Chapter 14: Memories

The lights of the laboratory were harsher than usual that day.

 

His eyes couldn’t seem to adjust; perhaps because he hadn’t slept. He never really did these days.

 

He kept blinking and rubbing at them incessantly, but his sight still wouldn’t improve.

 

“You need to fix your sleeping schedule,” his boyfriend’s voice echoed inside his brain.

 

He had been sleeping merely three hours per night these past few weeks. A proper torture.

 

It’s worth it, he mumbled grimly under his breath. 

 

He couldn’t waste any time. Not even a couple of hours more to sleep.

 

There were too many things to do. Too many things to understand.

 

Too many things to solve. 

 

Sleep wasn’t even half as important as everything that was going on around him. 

 

He yawned loudly and stretched his arms before pressing the reply button on the screen in front of him.

 

The same scene played repeatedly; a man spasming violently on a bed, screaming like an animal. His eyes were black, and so were his veins. He writhed in agony as though something crawled inside him, eating his organs. 

 

Regulus sighed in frustration, rubbing a hand over his eyes again. He was sure they had turned red by now, a faint sting beginning to bloom.

 

He had no idea how to solve this.

 

How to fix this. 

 

Was it even possible to fix?  

 

He was starting to feel hopeless. Stupid.

 

Regulus, ever the cleverest. Always the best out of everyone. The one obsessed with piecing things and people together as soon as possible. 

 

And still, he couldn’t piece together the most important thing in his life at the moment.

 

A delusion. He felt like a delusion.

 

“Still watching this?” a gentle voice murmured behind him, right by his ear.

 

A shiver ran down his spine at once.

 

James’ arms wrapped firmly around his waist, holding him tightly. 

 

Regulus could recognize his touch with his eyes closed.

 

“I have to,” he whispered back, resting his head over James’ shoulder. 

 

James hummed, kissing his neck from behind. “Do you?” His voice vibrated through Regulus’ pulse.

 

Regulus turned around, facing him. 

 

James was smiling gently, the glasses resting against his nose a bit tilted, covering his icy eyes. The dark net of curls in his head was especially messy that day. 

 

Regulus wanted to pass his fingers through them. Caress them, hold them, grip them. Everything at once.

 

James’ lips curled down as soon as he met Regulus’ eyes. “Why are your eyes so red?” he asked with a pout. “You still haven’t slept? I told you to sleep.”

 

Regulus rolled his eyes, putting his arms around James’ neck as he gently started playing with the curls at the base of his neck. “I can’t sleep, James,” he said. “Not with everything that’s going on.”

 

James’ lips twitched. He gently began caressing his back with one hand, while the other was still firm on his waist. “You don’t have to do it all by yourself, you know? I know you feel some sort of… obligation. But you’re just one person, love.”

 

Regulus grinned softly at the nickname. 

 

“But I’m the smartest one,” he said with a smug grin.

 

James huffed, pressing their bodies even closer. “Smartest, most handsome, most annoying—,” he chuckled. “You have it all, really.”

 

Regulus gasped dramatically, immediately pushing himself away from him. “That’s it. We’re done,” he said calmly. “I’m breaking up with you.”

 

James laughed. He immediately intertwined their fingers again, pulling him even closer than before. 

 

Regulus could feel their hearts beating against one another. He slowly began tracing the muscles on James’ chest beneath his shirt. 

 

“Right before we hit the six month target?” James said as he shook his head vigorously. “Foul. You can’t do that.”

 

“I can—and I just did it.”

 

“Mmh-mmh,” James hummed, pressing a soft kiss on Regulus’ lips.

 

Regulus melted immediately. 

 

Only James could ever manage to do that. 

 

Fucking James.

 

“Should we go to dinner to celebrate?” James asked, tugging a curl behind Regulus’ ear. 

 

Regulus’ eyes fluttered closed as he savored the softness of the gesture, feeling James’ fingers on his hair.

 

“I don’t wanna risk it,” he whispered after a pause. “Let’s just do something at home.”

 

James nodded, beaming. “I’ll make you chocolate.”

 

Regulus arched one brow. 

 

“Mmm…will you?” he purred, leaving an open-mouthed kiss on his boyfriend’s jawline. 

 

A faint sigh left James’ mouth. “Yeah,” he breathed out. 

 

“I’ll need to reward you, then,” Regulus said as he left soft kisses down his jaw.

 

James nodded eagerly. “You definitely will.”

 

Regulus chuckled, leaving one final kiss before pulling away. “I need to go back to work,” he said, drawing closer to the screen. 

 

James pouted, making Regulus laugh even more. “Stop  it,” he said fondly. 

 

James pouted even more, but still hesitantly began heading toward the door.

 

“I’m going to the first floor to say hello to the others,” he said. He slowly eased the door open and blew him a kiss. “I’ll see you at lunch, love.”

 

Regulus gave him a soft nod, grinning.

 

“See you at lunch.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus took a long breath before giving a gentle knock on the door.

 

For some odd reason, he felt nervous. On edge.

 

He hadn’t done anything wrong. He knew that. 

 

But a deep sense of guilt from previous events still curled inside him.

 

“Come in,” he heard a voice say. 

 

He bit his bottom lip before finally easing the door open.

 

A flash of coldness hit Regulus as soon as he entered the room; it was definitely colder than the others.

 

Maybe it reflected the coldness of the man living inside it, Regulus thought.

 

The usual long white table was placed in the middle of the room.  A black piece of cloth lay at the center of the table, as though it was covering something beneath it.

 

Regulus tried to keep his expression as firm as possible at the sight of it.

 

The old man sat at the very end of the table. He was gazing down at a pile of sheets of paper that Regulus couldn’t decipher from where he stood.

 

“Regulus,” the man said as he turned his head up from the papers. “Please.” He gestured his hand to the chair opposite of him, prodding him to sit.

 

Regulus wavered for a second, but then slowly sat down. 

 

He rested his sweaty hands on each armrest. They glided across the plastic easily. 

 

“You’re probably wondering why I called you here,” the man said. “You’re not in trouble, I promise. Everything related to the past is cleared on your behalf.”

 

A breath of relief left Regulus’ mouth.

 

He slowly sat up straight, regaining a bit of confidence. “Then—what can I do for you, sir?”

 

The man stood up, drawing right to the middle of the table. The room was so silent only his footsteps could be heard.

 

“I know you’ve been working really hard, Regulus. Harder than anyone. And rightfully so.”

 

“Unsuccessfully,” Regulus quickly added, clenching his jaw. 

 

Useless. Stupid. Unintelligent. 

 

“Yes—unsuccessfully,” the man repeated. “But that can change now.”

 

Regulus’ eyes grew wide. His hands clenched around the armrests.

 

“What—what do you mean, sir?”

 

“It seems like one of your friends from the first floor made a very useful discovery recently. Essential, even. Something that could finally turn our situation around.”

 

Regulus furrowed his brows. 

 

No one had spoken to him about recent discoveries or developments. 

 

He felt oddly betrayed.

 

The man continued. “Dr. McGonagall and I  have thought about it for the last few days and we’ve come up with—something.” 

 

He slowly removed the black cloth at the center of the table. 

 

Regulus’ breath caught in his throat. 

 

A maze. A small, miniature of one, at least. 

 

“What—what is this?” Regulus asked.

 

The old man stared at his eyes intently before speaking. 

 

“How we’re going to save humanity.” 

 

Regulus shook his head.

 

“I’m not getting it, sir.”

 

“I’ll answer all your questions later, Regulus,” the man promised. “But we need you. You’re brilliant, Regulus. The most brilliant out of everyone. You have the right abilities and the right motivation to fix everything.”

 

Abilities and motivation, Regulus thought.

 

Abilities and motivation.

 

The man was right. 

 

He’d do anything to solve this mess.

 

“With your excellent brain and the help of Mr. Potter’s programming skills I’m sure we’ll come up with something special.”

 

Regulus gulped. 

 

He didn’t know if he wanted to involve James in this. But if that was the only way—if they were so sure this could be their only chance at doing something, something real—

 

“The Phoenix is good, Regulus,” the man finished as he adjusted his glasses. “Always. We need to fix everything as soon as possible. And you want to fix it, right?” 

 

He wanted to. 

 

He wanted it more than anything. 

 

He quickly stood from the chair and stalked in front of the man. 

 

They stared at each other’s eyes intently. As though they were studying one another. 

 

Then, Regulus gave an earnest nod.

 

“Tell me what you want me to do.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Their heavy breaths completely drowned out the faint sound coming from the record player.

 

Regulus slumped beside James, leaving one final kiss on his shoulder. 

 

James hummed contentedly, closing his eyes as he slowly raised the sheets over their bare bodies. 

 

“Shit,” James gasped. “I think you’ve just killed me,” he said as he removed his sweaty curls from his forehead. “Can someone die after sex?”

 

Regulus chuckled lightly against his skin. “Maybe? Don’t think this is the case, baby.” 

 

James angled his body to face him. He raised one hand and gently began caressing Regulus’ cheek, circling it with his thumb.

 

Regulus softened at the touch.

 

“I’d be happy to die like this,” James said after a pause.

 

“Would you?” Regulus purred.

 

James hummed, agreeing.

 

“I want to die staring at your eyes, so I’d have something to brag about when I go to heaven.”

 

Regulus blinked his eyes open, furrowing his brows. 

 

“Brag about?”

 

“About having the boyfriend with the most beautiful eyes on the planet.”

 

Regulus scrunched his nose at the cheekiness. “ Stop being to corny.”

 

“Mmm… don’t think I will.”

 

Regulus rolled his eyes, though a grin tugged at his lips. “Yours are better anyway.”

 

James shook his head vigorously. 

 

“Absolutely not.”

 

Regulus grinned for a second longer before his expression shifted at once.

 

Those last few hours had been good. 

 

Essential, even.

 

Celebrating their six months together had been the distraction they both needed.

 

Spending a night together, away from the Order, away from the things people expected them to do. 

 

It had been great. Amazing.

 

But it still wasn’t enough to pull Regulus out of his thoughts. Out of his responsibilities. 

 

“Are you still thinking about the maze?” James asked him, tugging a curl behind his ear.

 

Regulus nodded faintly. 

 

“We said no talks about the Order tonight,” James reminded him.

 

“I know,” he murmured. “I’m sorry.”

 

There was a long silence. 

 

“You know I’m going to support you no matter what, right?” James then said. “Whatever you decide to do.”

 

Regulus bit his lip. 

 

“I just want to do the right thing. Or at least, try to. For you, the others and… myself. I need to forgive myself after what happened with Tom.”

 

He couldn’t keep living with the guilt that was slowly poisoning him from the inside. 

 

He couldn’t.

 

“I know.” James smiled softly. “And if you do decide to do it—I’ll help you. You won’t be alone in this, love. You know that.”

 

Regulus sighed loudly, pushing himself a bit further.

 

“I hate that he involved you in this.” 

 

James curled his lips, gently tugging him closer again, pressing their naked bodies against one another.

 

“I would’ve done it either way,” he breathed against his lips. “I’d do anything for you. Anything.”

 

Regulus groaned. 

 

He opened his mouth and slowly began outlining James’ lips with his tongue. 

 

A loud whimper left James’ mouth. 

 

“It seems like you’ll need to distract me a bit more—you know—to get rid of these concerns of mine,” Regulus whispered before biting James’ bottom lip. 

 

James nodded eagerly. 

 

“It seems like it,” he murmured back before connecting their lips.

 

The room filled with the obscene wet sounds of their tongues tangling, the record player now long forgotten. 

 

Regulus gripped James’ curls hard, making him moan, before lowering himself over James’ chest. 

 

He left a trail of kisses down his abdomen, over his navel, to the small butterfly inked right beneath it. 

 

One of James’ solid hands gripped his hair tightly, while the other clutched desperately at the sheets beneath them.

 

Regulus smirked against his skin. 

 

Not a single thought about the maze crossed his mind for the rest of the night.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The lights of the elevator were flickering nonstop. 

 

With all the money and resources they had, the least they could do was finally replace them, Regulus thought. 

 

His hand hovered over the buttons for a moment.

 

He considered stopping by the Informatic Department first, instead of going directly to the first floor. 

 

He pursed his lips before finally pressing the button with the number one, pouting faintly; he could go see James later.

 

He stared at the wall of the elevator as he waited to get there. A huge Phoenix was designed over the metal, as magnificent and grandiose as always. He gazed at the intricate design, his eyes flitting to its wings, its beak, and then at the word written above it. 

 

“THE ORDER”

 

The lights flickered one last time, darkening the elevator briefly, before the doors finally grated open.

 

He marched through the long white corridor as his feet led him automatically to the others’ laboratory. 

 

As soon as he reached the door, he heard loud music coming from it. 

 

A hint of bitterness crawled through him. 

 

This is what they were doing while he’d been going absolutely insane every day inside his own lab.

 

Listening to music. 

 

He knocked sharply on the door. 

 

He heard laughter and someone approaching before the door finally grated open. 

 

“Hello, you.”

 

Regulus frowned at once. 

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked as James quickly pulled him closer. He gave him a quick peck on the lips. “I thought you were working.”

 

James sighed dramatically, resting one arm on the doorstep.

 

“He wanted to speak with me too.”

 

“What?!” Regulus yelled, trying to peek inside. “I’ll kill him. Where is—

 

“Jesus, stop yelling,” a voice behind James said. 

 

Sirius stepped closer, quickly nudging the both of them out of the room as he closed the door. 

 

The loud music faded in the background as he did.

 

“I wouldn’t have to scream if you lot didn’t blast fucking music during work hours,” Regulus hissed as he walked back to the corridor.

 

Always the irresponsible one. Always. 

 

Even during a full-on pandemic.

 

“Thank God you’re not working on this floor, then,” Sirius shot back. His voice was colder than usual.

 

Regulus felt the muscle on his jaw twitch. 

 

They should give Sirius a prize for how quickly he could get under his skin. 

 

“Alright, alright,” James started, stepping between them. “Let’s not start.”

 

“He started it,” Regulus said as he stared directly at Sirius. “You said you wanted to talk to me. Me. Why the hell is James here?” 

 

Sirius laughed mockingly. 

 

“Because he’s the only fucking person you listen to,” he said. “And I have no idea how to fucking stop you.”

 

Regulus winced at the words. 

 

He stepped back faintly as his eyes grew wide.

 

Did—did he know? How could he know?

 

“I know what he’s asked you to do,” Sirius continued as he glanced at James too. “What he’s asked the both of you to do. People talk here, Regulus. You, more than anyone, should know.”

 

Regulus felt James stiffen beside him. 

 

Sirius exhaled deeply as he passed his fingers through his long hair.

 

“Don’t. I’m begging you. I know you think you’re doing the right thing. That you’ll redeem yourself with this. But for once, for once just—listen to me,” he pleaded. “I don’t want you to get involved in this.”

 

Regulus crossed his arms against his chest.

 

He felt James’ stare on him. He knew he was probably waiting for him to answer. He never involved himself between Sirius and Regulus’ relationship, despite loving both of them. 

 

“Reggie,” Sirius whispered. “Please. Let someone else do it.”

 

Regulus wavered. 

 

I can’t, he thought.

 

He remembered the words the man had said to him weeks earlier.

 

Abilities and motivation.

 

Abilities and motivation.

 

No one in the world could do a better job than him.

 

He knew it. The Order knew it. 

 

And maybe, deep inside him, Sirius knew it too.

 

“I’m the only one that can do it, Sirius,” he said. 

 

Sirius shook his head desperately.

 

“You’re not. We can figure something else. Me and the others, we’re work—

 

“You and the others?” Regulus laughed. “What are you and the others doing besides listening to music and hiding behind that door?”

 

Sirius flinched. As though the words hurt him more than Regulus intended.

 

“I’m doing it, Sirius. You can’t change my mind. I’m doing it for myself, for James and for the entire fucking world probably,” Regulus said coolly.

 

Because he was. He had already decided.

 

No one could change his mind. Especially not now.

 

He was doing it. He was doing the right thing. 

 

“You’re not going to say anything?” Sirius asked as he stared blankly at James.

 

James opened his mouth then promptly closed it again. 

 

Regulus’ heart tightened. 

 

Being torn between a lover or a friend was a feeling he unfortunately understood extremely well.

 

Sirius stared at the both of them before smiling bitterly. 

 

He gave a faint nod and turned, stalking back to the laboratory. “Don’t come crying to me if something goes wrong, alright?”  

 

Regulus clenched his fists.

 

“Don’t worry,” he spat. “I won’t.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The screen in front of them shifted images with every press of Regulus’ fingers. 

 

Each corridor of the maze was displayed precisely as the cameras zoomed in and out with just a flick of his fingers. 

 

“We can zoom almost close to human distance,” Regulus announced proudly as he kept his eyes fixed on the screen. “We can do whatever we want, really. Add voices, change the weather, make random objects appear, anything.”

 

The old man beside him hummed. 

 

“That’s impressive technology, I must admit,” he said in approval as he stared at the screen. “Can anyone use it?” he inquired as he turned to Regulus with intent eyes.

 

Regulus nodded. 

 

“Pretty much,” he said. “James has all the passwords though, so every change will need to pass through him first.” 

 

The man shot a quick glance at Regulus before he stepped away from the screens. 

 

“There’s something I need to tell you, Regulus.”

 

His voice was cold. Detached.

 

Regulus froze at the tone.

 

An abrupt feeling of uneasiness crawled through his body.

 

He hesitantly drew closer. “Sir?”

 

The man sighed. “You know how I told you we’d test the maze on animals first?”

 

Regulus gave a faint nod.

 

“I’m afraid we don’t have enough time for that, Regulus,” the man said. 

 

Regulus felt the blood in his veins run cold at once. 

 

No way. No fucking way.

 

“We can’t test it on people right away, sir,” he said with urgency. It was taking him every bit of patience in his body not to sound desperate. “We need to be absolutely sure it’ll work first. We can’t just—throw people inside it blindly.”

 

The man simply stared at him. 

 

“As I already said,” he said coolly. “We don’t have time.”

 

There was a long silence after that. 

 

Regulus closed his hands into fists. Hard. 

 

He could feel his nails digging into his palms. 

 

“This is not what we had agreed on when I decided to do this.”

 

“Agreements change, Regulus.” 

 

Regulus wanted to hit him. 

 

Every single corner of his brain was telling him to do it. 

 

“I have asked people around the building if they wanted to volunteer,” the man said after a long pause. “Every person from the first floor did.”

 

The words landed right in Regulus’ chest. Like a punch in the gut. A punch so hard it managed to freeze his entire body into place.

 

Not his hands though; they closed even tighter than before. 

 

He was sure blood was dripping from the palms of his hands by now.

 

No. No. No. No. 

 

This wasn’t happening. It wasn’t. It wasn’t.

 

“You’re lying,” he said. His voice wavered. “They wouldn’t—they—he—they wouldn’t. You’re fucking lying.”

 

He gasped for air. He was pretty sure a panic attack was going to crash through him soon.

 

“They did,” the old man said. 

 

He didn’t even hesitate. 

 

“I’m sorry, Regulus. It’s for the better. Their sacrifice will be essential for this process.”

 

The words snapped something inside of him.

 

An anger so big he had never felt before.  

 

He strode forward, coming face to face with the man. He gripped his arm hard, closing his fingers on the flesh covered by the white coat.

 

“You’re not sending them,” he hissed. “Are you fucking insane? You’re not sending them. Him. You’re not sending Sirius inside the maze.”

 

Their faces were inches apart. 

 

Spit slid down Regulus’ mouth. He looked like an animal with rabies. 

 

He didn’t care. His friends weren’t going inside the maze.

 

Sirius wasn’t going inside the maze.

 

He’d kill everyone in that fucking building before it could even happen.

 

“It’s already done, Regulus,” the man said coolly, adjusting his glasses. “We’re sending them tonight. The process has already started. You can’t do anything about it.”

 

Tonight. 

 

Tonight.

 

They’re sending them tonight.

 

Tonight.

 

Regulus realized what he’d done only after the sound of a slap echoed in the silence of the room. 

 

His palm was burning. 

 

The man's face had rotated from how hard the slap had landed. A drip of blood poured from his nose as his lips twisted. “You should be thankful, you know?” the man asked as he slowly removed the blood from his cupid’s bow. “If he wasn’t that essential to the project, I would have sent Potter too.”

 

He hadn’t even finished the sentence before Regulus hit him again. Hard.

 

The man laughed. And laughed. And laughed as blood entered his mouth. “Hitting me won’t stop anything, Regulus. The Phoenix is good, remember? We’re good. You’re good. I’m just trying to fix this as soon as possible. Fix the mess that you’ve made too, if you recall. And if I have to sacrifice some people to achieve it, then so be it.”

 

There was a moment of silence.

 

“You’re a fucking psychopath,” Regulus then spat as he quickly drew closer to the doorway. 

 

He needed to do something. There was no time. 

 

He had to save them. In some way. 

 

He had to. 

 

“Don’t try anything, Regulus,” the man said before Regulus could leave the room. “Or you’ll regret it.”

 

Regulus didn’t even spare him one last glance.

 

He opened the door and rushed to the elevator without looking back.

 

He didn’t have the time to.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The door burst open as the ringing noise of the alarm exploded through the building.

 

The air reeked with the harsh smell of chemicals. 

 

Regulus stormed inside the laboratory with clear purpose on his face.

 

He stalked toward the beds at the center of the room as he trembled violently. 

 

He tried to steady his breathing. He couldn’t.

 

He drew closer to the first bed and quickly raised his frantic hand, getting the needle ready. 

 

“Shit—fuck—fuck,” he swore, raising the sleeve of Marlene’s arm as he injected her. It took him every ounce of strength in his body to reduce the trembling in his hand.

 

As he finished with her, he moved to the next bed. 

 

Then another. Then another. 

 

Lily. Barty. Frank. Evan. Dorcas. Peter. Pandora. Mary. Remus. 

 

One by one, he injected all of them. 

 

He rushed to Sirius’ bed last. 

 

He gazed down at Sirius’ unconscious face as tears welled up in his eyes. 

 

Stupid. Stupid fucking Sirius.

 

He hated every single bit of him. His bravery, his sense of righteousness. He hated everything.

 

“Why?” Regulus mumbled as he pressed the needle to his vein. “Why did you do this to me? Why did you all do this?”

 

The alarm kept ringing incessantly. His ears had started hurting.

 

He needed to go. Needed to find James. 

 

Needed to at least try to save him. 

 

His mouth twitched as he looked one last time at his unconscious friends. 

 

“Please make it work,” he begged as he rushed toward the exit. “Please.”

 

He had no idea who he was begging to. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

He ran through the white corridors of the Informatic Department like a madman.

 

People who were passing by looked at him with fright in their eyes; startled by both the ringing alarm and his erratic behavior.

 

“Did he do something?” he heard someone say as he strode forward.

 

“Looks like it.”

 

He didn’t stop. He couldn’t afford to.

 

He had to get James. Explain everything. 

 

Get him away from here.

 

As soon as possible.

 

They were coming to get him. 

 

He could feel them. 

 

He reached James’ office and crashed through the door. 

 

He felt a hand gripping his arm tightly. 

 

“Reg.”

 

James’ voice was hurried, frantic. 

 

Scared.

 

“What’s going on? Did something happen?”

 

His blue eyes were impossibly wide as they searched for any answer on Regulus’ face. 

 

Regulus felt like crying. 

 

It was his fault. Everything was his fault. 

 

He should’ve listened to Sirius. 

 

He should’ve never accepted anything.

 

He should’ve never involved James in this.

 

A tear fell down his cheek. 

 

He just wanted to do the right thing. To fix the mess he’d made. 

 

He just wanted to save them.

 

“I’m sorry,” he choked. “I’m so sorry baby, I had to. I had to do it.” 

 

He rested both of his hands on James' face and traced it with his fingers. 

 

He knew it was probably the last time he’d get to touch him.

 

They were going to find out soon what he’d done.

 

They were going to punish him. 

 

He had resigned himself.

 

“I’m not understanding Reg,” James said as he shook his head frantically. “What’s going on? Why did the alarm go off? We were supposed to start the test tonight.”

 

Regulus cried more. 

 

Tears were spilling nonstop from his eyes now. 

 

His friends.

 

Sirius.

 

Oh, Sirius. 

 

“He lied—he—he’s sending them, James. He’s sending the others. Now.” 

 

Regulus sobbed as he buried his face against James’ chest, wetting his white robe. 

 

He felt James’ body freeze. 

 

“What?” he said, panicked. “What are you talking about?”

 

Regulus sobbed more.

 

He couldn’t even answer. He couldn’t say it again.

 

“He lied. He—he lied to us,” Regulus whispered. “I—I tried to fix it. I tried to save them. I couldn’t just watch them die, James. I couldn’t.” He shook his head. “They probably know by now. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me but you need to go, James. Now. They’ll look for you. They need you.”

 

James’ face twisted in despair as he slowly began to realize the situation.

 

“Regulus,” he whispered, his eyes flitting frantically over his face. “What did you do?”

 

“I had to. I had to. I had to,” Regulus repeated, over and over and over.

 

He couldn’t breathe. He was suffocating. As though something was blocking his airways.

 

James had begun shaking him. “Reg,” he urged. “Tell me. What did you do? What did you do?!”

 

Before he could answer, the door burst open before their eyes.

 

A wave of guards rushed inside, pointing their rifles at them. 

 

James immediately put himself in front of him.

 

“Hey! Hey! What’s going on?” 

 

The guards didn’t hesitate; they lunged toward Regulus with scary determination, prodding him to walk to the exit with the rifles. 

 

Regulus didn’t oppose. Didn’t fight.

 

No. He deserved it after everything he’d done.

 

“What the fuck?!” James yelled, yanking Regulus back. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

 

He felt James’ fingers press hard on his skin. 

 

He’d probably bruise later.

 

One of the guards grabbed James by the hair and slammed him to the ground, making him fall. 

 

“Leave him!” Regulus bellowed at the men. “Don’t fight them James, I’m fucking serious. Stay away.” 

 

Not him too, Regulus thought.

 

Anyone but him.

 

James shot back up on his feet and stormed toward him, gripping his arm as the guards were trying to push him back to the floor. 

 

James’ nails were digging into his skin so hard Regulus could feel blood dripping from it. 

 

“Let him go! Let him go!” James begged as he cried. One of the men hit his arm with a rifle, breaking their contact. 

 

The sound of breaking bone filled the room.

 

James yelled; maybe for the pain, maybe for the desperation.

 

“I love you, James,” Regulus screamed as they dragged him toward the white corridor. 

 

“Forever.”

 

The last thing Regulus heard was James’ desperate cries reverberating all over the floor.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus felt as though he was dead.

 

His limbs were numb. As though his body and mind had been disconnected with one another. 

 

Slowly, very slowly, he cracked his drowsy eyes open.

 

His sight was blurry. 

 

There were people above him, he guessed; he could only discern some faint outlines.

 

He tried to speak. He couldn’t feel his tongue anymore.

 

Had they drugged him?

 

“Mmmsssppppp,” he managed to mumble, but nothing more.

 

He felt a cold needle pinching his arm. 

 

He wasn’t even able to hiss at the contact.

 

“Jjjjjaaaamesss,” he murmured as another needle went into his flesh. 

 

“Regulus,” he heard someone say.

 

His eyes were closing again.

 

He was tired. So tired.

 

He just wanted to sleep.

 

“Regulus, remember. The Phoenix is good.”

 

He blinked again.

 

So tired.

 

“The Phoenix is good.”

 

“The Phoenix is good.”

 

“The Phoenix is good.”

 

“The Phoenix is good.”

 

He fell asleep as the words repeated in his mind.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

His head was pounding so violently he thought someone had hit him on the skull with a hammer.

 

He hadn’t even realized that he was awake. 

 

Pain was the only thing his mind could perceive.

 

He scrunched his eyes even closer, grunting loudly. 

 

“Shit, guys!” someone yelled, making his head hurt even more. 

 

“He moved!”

 

“What?!”

 

“Sirius, come!”

 

If he had the strength, he’d yell at them to shut the fuck up. 

 

He felt people kneeling beside him, murmuring in hushed disbelief. 

 

One hand gently began stroking his face. 

 

That touch, Regulus thought.

 

I know that touch.

 

“Reg?” someone called. 

 

The sweet, familiar voice made him finally open his eyes.

Notes:

You Are a Memory - Message To Bears.

Chapter 15: I’m Sorry

questions of science,

science and progress,

do not speak as loud as my heart 

but tell me you love me 

come back and haunt me

oh, and i rush to the start

running in circles 

chasing our tails

coming back as we are

 

---

 

As soon as Regulus fluttered his eyes open, he promptly shut them again.

 

The sudden light made his head throb even more.

 

“Reg?” the voice whispered again as the calloused hand kept stroking his face.

 

“It hurts,” he moaned in pain. 

 

He felt like his skull was about to explode. 

 

“What hurts? Regulus?” another voice urged. “What hurts?”

 

That, he recognized immediately.

 

Sirius. 

 

Sirius. 

 

He was here. He was fine. He was alive.

 

Regulus snapped his eyes open at once. He sat up straight abruptly, supporting himself with one elbow. His body wobbled because of the sudden movement and he fell on the snow again.

 

“Hey, hey,” James whispered. “Slow down.”

 

Regulus immediately tried to sit up again as his eyes went directly toward Sirius. 

 

Sirius had his gaze fixed on him already. His face was pale. His hair was a complete mess. His eyes were rimmed red. As though he had been crying. 

 

Regulus’ jaw trembled. 

 

“Sirius,” he cried. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t. I swear.”

 

His body began quivering wildly. 

 

He felt utterly delirious.

 

He was so fucking sorry. 

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he gasped. He kept drawing short breaths in and never out. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t. I didn’t want this.”

 

He grabbed his hair and shut his eyes as memories came rushing inside his mind.

 

Oh God.

 

What had he done. What had he done.

 

Someone wrapped a blanket around him. 

 

“Reg,” he heard James whisper as he cupped his cheeks gently. “It’s me. It’s James. You need to breathe, alright?”

 

Regulus shook his head violently. “You didn’t run. I told you to run. Why didn’t you run?” he mumbled.

 

He didn’t run. He was there with him.

 

Why was he here with him?

 

All his fault. Always his fault.

 

“What’s wrong with him?!” Sirius snivelled. 

 

Regulus began rocking his body back and forth. He dropped his head down onto his knees as memories kept spilling inside of him like a broken glass of water.

 

Maze. Order. James. Phoenix. Abilities. Tom. James. Motivation. Blood. I love you. Forever. 

 

“Regulus,” a soft voice whispered. He felt a hand patting his back. “Hey, hey. It’s Lily. Can you hear me?”

 

Regulus bit his lip so hard he was sure it was going to bleed. 

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he kept saying. As if by saying it enough times, it could undo his actions.

 

But it couldn’t. Because he was in the maze. So was Sirius. So were his friends. And so was James. 

 

And it was all his fucking fault. 

 

“Here,” Lily whispered as she slowly made him raise his head from his knees. “Drink some water.”

 

He hesitantly took the cup that she was handing him. Some of the water spilled out from it, since his hands were trembling wildly. 

 

He kept his gaze down toward the snow as James rubbed slow circles on his back to calm him.

 

He gulped down some of the water and finally looked up.

 

The others were standing over him. Their faces held a mixture of worry and relief, and Regulus genuinely felt like crying again. 

 

He didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve their worry; their care. They should hate him.

 

His eyes landed on Barty and Evan, then on Dorcas and Pandora. Pandora looked absolutely wrecked, and so did Evan. Dorcas and Barty—looked absolutely feral. As though they were ready to destroy the walls of the maze and kill a Dementor with their bare hands. 

 

His friends. All so different. Every single one of them. And still, they all completely and utterly loved him the same. 

 

Regulus didn’t deserve them.

 

“We were so fucking worried,” Barty said as he stared at him straight in the eyes. “We—we thought it wouldn’t work. The other vial, we thought—,” His voice cracked at the end.

 

Right.

 

The Dementor. The attack. He had completely forgotten.

 

That was why some memories came back to him. 

 

“You used the other vial to save me?” he asked faintly. 

 

“Yes,” Remus hummed. “We thought it got lost in the water after the second test. Turned out it was inside your pocket the entire time,” he chuckled. “You saved your own life, I guess.”

 

A hard lump formed on Regulus’ throat.

 

“You saved me. It was you,” he murmured. He blinked rapidly to hold back tears. 

 

James stroked his cheek gently; his thumb was grazing faintly over his skin. “Of course we did,” he said as though it was obvious. 

 

Regulus’ mouth twisted. 

 

He should’ve died. He should’ve transformed into whatever the fuck a Dementor was. That was the only thing he deserved at the moment.

 

“Well, you shouldn’t have,” he spat coldly. 

 

James’ fingers halted at once. “What?” he whispered aghast. 

 

“Are you fucking stupid?” Dorcas bellowed angrily. Her hands were closed into fists at her sides. “You pass out for twelve fucking hours, we don’t sleep, don’t even fucking eat or drink to check on you at all fucking times, and the first thing you tell us when you wake up is that we should’ve just let you die?”

 

Regulus flinched at the words.

 

“Dorcas,” Marlene muttered. She quickly grabbed her from her jacket. “He’s clearly not in the right state of mind.”

 

Dorcas drew closer to him with her arms crossed without paying attention to her. “Do—do you have any idea how it was for us? Seeing that thing fucking—,” she closed her eyes as a tear slipped down her cheek. “We had to fucking grab you and take you back here while we thought you were dead. Can you imagine how James fucking reacted? Do you even know what happened to Siriu—,”

 

“Dorcas,” Sirius gritted, stopping her abruptly. 

 

Regulus’ eyes flitted toward him at once. Their eyes met. 

 

Regulus felt like crying as soon as they did. 

 

“So, no,” Dorcas finished as she sniffled. “You don’t get to fucking say that we should’ve just let you die.”

 

There was a long silence after that.

 

Regulus didn’t know how to reply. The others probably didn’t too. They just kept staring at him. Probably waiting for him to speak. Or maybe just to make sure that he was actually alive. Breathing. Conscious. 

 

He felt James’ stare on him especially. 

 

Regulus swallowed hard as he peeked at him from the corner of his eye. There were so many things he wanted to tell him. So many things he wanted to—do. 

 

But it could wait. Had to wait. 

 

They deserved the truth. He owed it to them after everything they’d been through because of him. 

 

“I remembered some things. About the past,” he said coolly after several minutes.

 

Everyone’s eyes promptly grew wide. He felt James’ body freeze beside him. 

 

“What—what did you remember?” Mary asked, bewildered. 

 

He took a deep breath in. 

 

Now or never, he thought as he cleared his throat earnestly.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Barty had probably never seen Regulus look so nervous in the time he’d known him. No, Barty had definitely never seen Regulus look so nervous in the time he’d known him.

 

Regulus’ eyes were closed, and his hands kept playing with what Barty assumed was a thread loose on his jeans. 

 

He looked like he was trying so hard to find the right words. 

 

Honestly, Barty couldn’t care less about the things he was about to say. Yes, he was curious. Yes, he wanted to know if he remembered some things about his past life. Barty himself, maybe. He’d love to know if  the both of them knew each other in the life they didn’t remember.

 

But in truth, the only actual thing that Barty cared about at the moment was seeing Regulus alive in front of him. 

 

Breathing. Talking. Moving.

 

That was what was important. Nothing else.

 

He thought he’d lost him. Forever. Those past twelve hours had been the most terrifying hours in his entire fucking life. He was certain of it. 

 

Not when that Dementor had suddenly appeared in the camp during the first test and closed its skeletal hand around his throat. Not when the freezing water of the second test had tried swallowing them whole. 

 

When he saw Regulus' unresponsive and cold body looking like a proper corpse before his eyes—that had been the most terrifying moment of his life. 

 

Barty could genuinely start crying at any moment now just by seeing him awake. He wouldn’t dare, though.

 

Not when Regulus already had someone else to take care of him. 

 

“I don’t know where to start,” Regulus whispered after several minutes as he glanced at everyone.

 

James gently caressed his thigh. “Just tell us what you want. Don’t feel pressured,” he said softly.

 

Barty quickly flitted his eyes away from them. He pretended not to feel his stomach curl into itself at the sight.

 

Regulus drew a long breath in. 

 

“You were right, Marlene,” he said as he looked at her. “The dreams you had. About me injecting you with something. It happened.”

 

That. Barty definitely did not expect that.

 

There was a long silence.

 

Marlene’s eyes grew wide. “What do you mean it happened?” she said bewildered. 

 

“It happened. I saw it. Frank—Frank was right too,” Regulus laughed bitterly. “You were all fucking right. The signs were literally in front of my fucking eyes. I just pretended not to see them.” His lips twisted in anger. He closed his hands into fists.

 

Barty furrowed his brows in confusion.

 

Why was he suddenly angry?

 

“Reg,” Pandora murmured. She stood beside Barty with her lips curled down at the corners. She had been so worried for Regulus. Like everyone else. But Pandora had a more evident way of showing emotions physically, unlike the rest of them. She’d cried for probably ten out of the twelve hours that Regulus had spent passed out cold, and she did not feel an ounce of shame for it. Barty respected her a lot.

 

 “I’m not understanding,” Pandora continued, perplexed. 

 

“Yeah,” Mary agreed. “You need to be a bit more clear than this.”

 

Regulus’ jaw tensed. 

 

“It’s me,” he said as he bit his lip. “The people you—we’ve been cursing at the entire time. The people we’ve promised to fucking kill once we’d escape from here. It was me. It was me all along.”

 

His lips had begun trembling. As though he was about to cry.

 

Barty completely froze. He widened his eyes in utter disbelief. 

 

This—it couldn’t be. It couldn’t. 

 

No. No. No. No.

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Sirius fumed. He stalked in front of Regulus with fury. Remus was right behind him. He grabbed Sirius’ arm and tried pulling him back with force. “Sirius,” he urged.

 

“No!” Sirius bellowed as he harshly removed Remus’ hand from his arm. He turned his head around to gaze at Regulus. “Answer. What do you mean it was you? You trapped us here?!”

 

Regulus gulped loudly. “I didn’t just put you here,” he whispered resignedly. “I—I made this. I created the maze.” He released a sharp breath. “It was me. I built it.”

 

Barty’s legs almost failed him. He was going to pass out. He absolutely, one hundred percent was about to pass out. 

 

He had never heard so many gasps coming out at once. Gasps of shock, of horror, of terror. The camp was in shambles.

 

“You—you—you what?” Marlene stuttered. Her voice shook. 

 

Dorcas began shaking his head wildly. “I don’t believe this shit. I don’t believe it,” she said earnestly as she drew closer to Regulus. “It was a dream, alright? A fucking—hallucination. You didn’t make this fucking maze, Regulus.” She pointed a decisive finger toward him. Her entire body had begun trembling. “You didn’t.”

 

Regulus kept gnawing at his lip. It had turned a bright red color now. 

 

“It wasn’t a dream, Dorcas,” he sighed, though his voice was laced with absolute conviction. “I’ve been having them for a month. I can differentiate the two things. They were memories.” He screwed his eyes shut. “They were memories.”

 

No one was saying anything. Everyone was simply gaping, completely at loss of words. Of thoughts.

 

Barty certainly was, at least. 

 

He expected memories of Regulus’ life, of his relationship with James, maybe. Not fucking—this. 

 

How could they even process this?

 

Regulus kept talking. He wasn’t stopping anymore. He just kept talking and talking and everything that came out of his mouth just seemed to make the situation even worse.

 

“James helped me,” Regulus announced after several seconds. His eyes flitted to him, who still had his hand firmly on his thigh. “You helped me. We worked on it together.”

 

James shook his head frantically. His eyes had grown so wide Barty thought they were about to pop out of his eye sockets. “No. No. It’s—what? Regulus, that’s impossible,” he said earnestly. 

 

Regulus’ lips quirked at the corners. 

 

“It’s true, James. We did this. To them. We did this to them.”

 

James looked like he was full-on panicking now. “No no no no no no no,” he kept saying. As though he was trying to convince himself more than the others around him. 

 

“I feel fucking delirious,” Mary yelled as she laughed out loud.  

 

“Same,” Lily deadpanned with her mouth open. “What in the world is happening right now?”

 

From the corner of his eye, Barty noticed Peter suddenly storming closer in front of Sirius, who was staring at James and Regulus with an absolutely disoriented expression. 

 

“I told you!” Peter screamed as he pointed his finger at James and Regulus in an accusing manner. “I told you there was something wrong with them! You didn’t believe me!”

 

“Pete,” Remus urged. “Not now.”

 

“But I told you! They’re the enemies! We need to get rid of them, now! Before—”

 

Sirius stalked closer, closing the distance between them. His eyes were flashing with rage. Barty had never seen that expression on him before. “Shut. The fuck. Up,” Sirius gritted right over Peter’s face.

 

Peter swallowed. “But—Sirius—they—”

 

“I said shut the fuck up!” Sirius repeated louder. Lily and Mary immediately stood, and Remus grabbed his arm again. “You need to calm down, Sirius,” Mary said firmly. 

 

“Calm down?!” he screamed.

 

Barty flinched at his tone, as did everyone else. 

 

Sirius seemed absolutely feral. 

 

“He—he—he did this,” Sirius stuttered. His jaw began trembling. He turned his body around to look at Regulus again. “You did this. It was you,” he said bitterly. “It was you all along.”

 

Regulus closed his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. 

 

And he truly did look like he was. 

 

“Something’s happening out there in the world. Something bad. They asked me to fix it. And I tried. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was wrong.” Regulus breathed shakily and started rambling. “I would have never done something to hurt you. When I injected you—I was trying to do something good. I was trying to save you.” 

 

Sirius gave a mocking laugh. “To save us? You were trying to fucking save us? That’s good Regulus, really.”

 

“Let him speak,” Remus ordered. 

 

Lily knelt down again beside Regulus. Her lips were pursed in what Barty assumed was deep concentration. “What did you inject us with?” she whispered to Regulus. 

 

Regulus shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I did to you.” His voice cracked at the end. “But I wanted to help you. I promise. We—we were friends. All of us. We knew each other.”

 

Barty felt his breath itch. 

 

He heard Pandora gasp beside him as everyone else at camp glanced at one another with wide eyes.

 

“We—,” Pandora breathed. “We were friends? All of us?”

 

Regulus gave a short nod.

 

“We worked together in some kind of lab?” he laughed. “I don’t know, something called The Order.”

 

Barty was utterly bewildered. “A lab?” he exclaimed. “Were we fucking scientists or something?”

 

Dorcas pressed her lips together. “I don’t see us being fucking scientists, to be honest.”

 

“I’m not lying,” Regulus said quickly. “Why would I lie about this?”

 

“Well it seems like you’re definitely capable of it,” Sirius gritted through his teeth.

 

Regulus looked up toward him. His eyes grew dark. 

 

Shit, Barty thought.

 

“You think I lied?” Regulus asked Sirius coldly. “You think I’ve been fucking lying to all of you? I’m trapped here exactly like you.”

 

“I don’t know what to fucking think!” Sirius raged. He harshly passed his fingers through his long hair, as though he was trying to hurt himself. “I—you—after everything. After—after I begin to car—,” he choked on his own words.

 

Regulus’ eyes grew wide, as did his mouth. 

 

Sirius snapped his eyes closed and gulped loudly. Without saying another word, he stalked away from camp, walking in the direction of the first corridor of the maze. Remus promptly followed him as he called his name. 

 

Barty felt sorry for Sirius. 

 

It seemed like he had grown to care for Regulus, though he wasn’t great at showing it.

 

Regulus’ eyes were still impossibly wide. 

 

James tried to caress his cheek, but Regulus harshly removed his hand. 

 

There was a pause. 

 

No one knew what to say. No one knew what to ask. Barty definitely didn’t, at least.

 

“Fucking hell,” Mary said after several minutes. She laughed in shock and shook her head. “I feel like someone has just torn my head open and filled it with every single possible information in existence.”

 

“Right,” Evan whispered in agreement. 

 

Barty swallowed hard. His gaze was still intent on Regulus. Never leaving. Never unwavering. He appeared still extremely on edge, but his shoulders seemed less tense than before. 

 

The camp remained silent for what felt like hours. 

 

Everyone’s brain was probably working extremely hard, as they tried to piece together all—or some—of the pieces they had been trying so hard to understand in their month inside the maze.

 

There were still questions, things that didn’t make sense. 

 

As time passed, Barty noticed that some of the expressions of the people around him had begun shifting into something—darker. Angrier.

 

The shock was slowly going away, leaving only fury on their faces. 

 

Understandable, Barty thought.

 

It felt like a betrayal. It was a betrayal. As much as he didn’t like to admit it. 

 

Still, there was not a single cell in his body that felt angry toward Regulus. Was he biased? Absolutely. Was he going to look at Regulus any differently after knowing that Regulus had built that very thing that had been trying to kill them for the past weeks? No.

 

And that was probably the thing that terrified him the most out of everything.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮 

 

The snow scrunched loudly beneath Sirius’ feet. 

 

His legs seemed to move on their own, as though his brain wasn’t manoeuvring his movements anymore. 

 

He drew quick breaths in and out as his breath showed in the cold air before him. 

 

He had no idea where he was going. Possibly as far away from his thoughts as possible.

 

We knew each other. We were friends. I’ve built it. It was me all along.

 

“Shit,” Sirius cursed under his breath as he halted at once. He screwed his eyes shut. 

 

We knew each other. 

 

Of course they did. Deep down, Sirius already knew. Or—felt. He’d been having his doubts, especially after his conversation with Remus. But this was different. This was a confirmation. A certainty.

 

Him and Regulus. They knew each other. 

 

He should feel at ease. At peace with himself. He wasn’t crazy. He didn’t just feel this odd attachment to Regulus for no reason. There was a reason. 

 

A reason why behind the facade of arguments and fights, there was a deep urge and need of protection. Of care. 

 

He had come to realize it after Regulus’ attack with the Dementor. Those twelve hours of Regulus being out cold had been a breaking point for Sirius. Eye-opening, someone might even say. 

 

He cared for Regulus. He cared so deeply and unwaveringly that he couldn’t confuse it with anything else anymore.

 

When Regulus had woken up, Sirius had genuinely felt the urge to rush toward him and lunge into his arms. It would’ve seemed weird for the others, obviously. And he would’ve understood that. But he wouldn’t have cared. 

 

He wouldn’t have. 

 

That was before Regulus had begun talking. Before he admitted—Fuck. 

 

Was this how betrayal feels like? When someone you know you care about stabs you straight in the heart?

 

That was how Sirius felt at the moment. As though a knife had been thrown in the middle of his heart, making it bleed relentlessly.

 

“Sirius?” he heard Remus call from behind him.

 

Deep breaths. In and out. In and out.

 

“Sirius,” Remus said again, closer. 

 

Sirius turned around. 

 

“What?”

 

Remus’ eyebrows were curled down, as were the corners of his lips as he looked at him.

 

Sirius quickly looked away. He didn’t want anyone’s pity. Definitely not Remus’. 

 

“I know it’s a lot,” Remus whispered. He approached him cautiously. “You’re not—it’s fine. The reaction you’re having. It’s valid.”

 

Sirius laughed mockingly. “Is it?”

 

Remus didn’t respond. 

 

Sirius closed his eyes and began pacing around. Then he stopped in front of Remus. “Is it normal? Remus. Nothing about this is fucking normal. Do you genuinely think the reaction I had after the Dementor’s attack was normal?” 

 

He felt himself get angrier and angrier with himself. 

 

Sirius’ reaction to the attack—had clearly not been normal. He knew it. The others knew it. Not even James had reacted like he had. Or Barty. Or—anyone else, for that matter.

 

He had spent the first few hours in complete shock. Frozen. Pale. Disconnected. He couldn’t even recall them. They felt like a blur of time that his brain hadn’t perceived.

 

Then his body started reacting. It had taken only a quick glimpse at Regulus’ unresponding body, and he suddenly stood and threw up all over the snow near the firepit. The shivers came just seconds later. He felt as though he was dying. As though his heart had been ripped off his chest. 

 

Fury arrived in the last few hours. He began throwing things at the walls of the maze, engraving harshly on them with any sort of pointed object he could find. He aimed a branch from the firepit straight into one of the cameras on the walls, all of this while screaming slurs and death threats at the people who had put them here.

 

Ironic, really. 

 

He looked absolutely insane. He felt absolutely insane. As though oxygen wasn’t reaching his brain anymore. 

 

No one had even tried stopping him. He would’ve probably hurt them too without thinking properly. 

 

“It wasn’t,” Remus replied after several seconds. 

 

Sirius clicked his tongue. “Glad we agree on that.”

 

Remus pressed his lips together. “But—it’s good. Right? At least now you know why. We all knew each other.”

 

“It’s good?” Sirius hissed. “Remus, I just found out that someone I love made this fucking maze and trapped us inside it. How could that be good?”

 

He hadn’t meant to say that word. It felt strange on his tongue. Unfamiliar. But much to his own displeasure, it conveyed exactly what Sirius had been secretly feeling for Regulus this entire time. 

 

Remus flinched at once. “You—love?” he murmured.

 

Sirius threw his arms into the air. “Jesus, not that kind of love.”

 

“Just wanted to check,” Remus said as tilted his chin. 

 

“Not really necessary since we know he was dating James,” Sirius replied coldly. 

 

Remus’ lips twisted. His expression darkened. “I’m just trying to fucking help you here, alright? You think you’re the only one in shock? Well, you’re not.” 

 

A rush of chilling wind hit Sirius straight in the face. He shivered wildly. Though he didn’t know if the wind was the actual cause of it. 

 

“It’s a shit situation. I get it,” Remus continued as he searched his eyes intently. “I get it. But—I feel like there’s still a lot that we don’t know. That Regulus hasn’t told us. He said he tried to help us. And as much as it’s surprising, I believe him. He’s here too, isn’t he?” He took a deep breath in. “We were his friends. I don’t think he meant to hurt us, Sirius.”

 

Sirius gulped loudly. His jaw trembled.

 

How could someone be so kind hearted to always find the good in people? 

 

Sirius took a short step closer and lunged himself into Remus’ arms. A loud sob pushed past his lips, landing directly over Remus’ chest.

 

He felt Remus’ arms wrapping around him earnestly.

 

“You’re so good,” Sirius sobbed. “How are you so good?” he mumbled against Remus’ chest. 

 

Remus laughed softly. Sirius’ cheek vibrated against him. 

 

“I’m not good,” he whispered. He gently began stroking Sirius’ hair, passing his fingers through them carefully. “I just think that there’s more to it. We need to ask him some more questions about—everything. To James too. He seemed pretty shocked.”

 

Sirius promptly closed his eyes. “I don’t think I’m ready to do that now.”

 

Remus hummed as he kept the gentle strokes. “Tomorrow, then.”

 

Sirius gave a short nod. “Tomorrow.”

 

There was a long silence. 

 

Sirius spent it listening carefully to Remus’ loud heartbeat that pulsed against his ear.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

 

He never wanted to be rude to Remus.

 

Remus only deserved gentle words and gentle touches and gentle—everything.

 

He felt Remus’ hand waver for a beat. “I know,” he whispered after several seconds.

 

Sirius slowly drew back. He looked up, meeting his eyes. He slid an arm around his waist. “I love you too, you know?” he whispered as he stared. 

 

Remus’ eyes grew wide in surprise, before softening immediately after. 

 

“Like you love Regulus?”

 

Sirius bit his lip and then shook his head. 

 

Remus’ lips curled up. He took one of his hands over Sirius’ face and began stroking his eyebrow. Sirius shivered at the touch. 

 

Gentle touches. Always gentle touches. 

 

“We knew each other,” Remus said happily. “Can you believe it?”

 

Sirius fluttered his eyes closed, relishing the brush of Remus’ thumb over his face. “I can.”

 

“Do you think we loved each other there too?” Remus asked him after a beat of silence.

 

Sirius tilted his head and left a soft kiss over the palm of his hand. “I think so.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮 

 

Regulus could feel the anger emanating from the people around him. 

 

Faces twisted in wrath stared at him unwaveringly, making him want to crawl into his own skin and disappear completely.

 

He deserved it. He deserved every bit of resentment and rage they felt toward him at the moment.

 

There were still so many things, so many details he was supposed to tell them. So many unsaid things that maybe—could make his situation better than how it appeared. 

 

But they didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Nothing but the fact that they were here because of him. 

 

If he’d simply said no, if he’d simply refused—nothing would’ve happened. 

 

“James, I need to talk to you,” he said after several seconds as he stood. He wobbled slightly as he did. The traces of the attack were most likely still there crawling inside of him. 

 

James promptly caught him, steadying him. 

 

“Alright,” he whispered.

 

“You’re just going to fucking leave?” Mary snapped. She stood at once, drawing closer. “You can’t just fucking—do that. Leave us hanging after what you just said.”

 

Regulus sighed deeply. “I don’t have the strength to talk anymore.”

 

“And we’re supposed to care? Regulus, I don’t think you understand what you just admitted,” Marlene said. Her voice was cold, as was her expression. 

 

Regulus closed his hands into fists. 

 

Oh, he did. How much he did.

 

“I do,” he said as calmly as possible, though his voice had become harsher. “I just need a fucking minute to rest.”

 

Mary laughed bitterly. “A minute? He needs a fucking minute.”

 

“You need to be grateful that we have not murdered you yet,” Marlene gritted through her teeth. 

 

James stepped in front of him in a flash. 

 

Dorcas, Pandora, Barty and Evan also quickly rushed closer, stepping in front of him protectively. 

 

Regulus’ lips trembled. 

 

Why were they defending him? After everything he’d done?

 

He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve them.

 

“Try saying that again,” Dorcas spat right over Marlene’s face. “I dare you.”

 

Surprisingly, Marlene flinched. 

 

“You’re still defending him?” Marlene asked bewildered. Her brows shot up to her hairline. “All of you?” She glanced at his friends. 

 

“Yes,” Pandora replied unwaveringly. “We’re a family.”

 

Marlene grimaced. She spared one last glance at Dorcas before stalking away from the firepit at once.

 

Mary was still in front of them with her arms crossed against her chest, eying them coldly. 

 

“Mary,” Lily called, taking her arm and pushing her away. “Let’s go.”

 

Mary clenched her jaw and locked eyes with Regulus. There was only fury in her eyes. After what felt like hours, she turned and walked toward Marlene and Peter, sitting down beside them.

 

The group was broken. 

 

Again.

 

Everything they’ve built these past weeks, was gone. 

 

And it was all Regulus’ fault.

 

Always his fault. 

 

“James,” he said again more coolly. James turned around, facing him. 

 

Regulus glanced at him and then began walking toward one of the tents decisively, pushing past his friends. 

 

He heard James’ hesitant footsteps right behind him.

 

He harshly tore open the tent flaps and got inside. James followed him just seconds later. 

 

They studied each other carefully.

 

Regulus gazed at James’ face. At his eyes. His eyes. His eyes. 

 

They used to be his. James used to be his.

 

All of him. Every inch of skin. Every breath. Every beat of heart.

 

He’d seen it. He’d felt it. 

 

Regulus shut his eyes. 

 

“Tell me you didn’t know,” he breathed.

 

Please, he begged inside his head.

 

“What?” James blurted out.

 

Regulus opened his eyes. He tried to look as composed as possible. “Tell me you didn’t know. Tell me you didn’t remember. That we did this. That I did this to them.”

 

James opened his mouth and then promptly closed it. 

 

He seemed—stunned. Taken aback.

 

Regulus felt himself get angrier. “Tell me!” His voice rose in desperation.

 

“I didn’t,” James uttered as he drew closer, but Regulus automatically stepped back. 

 

James halted. His lips twisted with sadness. “I promise, I didn’t,” he whispered. “I told you. I don’t remember anything about the past but you. Us. Nothing about mazes or—anything else.”

 

Regulus gulped loudly. 

 

James appeared sincere. Relief spread across his body, warming it slightly for the first time since he’d woken up that day. 

 

“I promise,” James repeated earnestly. He took another hesitant step closer. This time, Regulus didn’t draw back. 

 

He gnawed frantically at his bottom lip, feeling suddenly on edge. 

 

James was here. With him. They trapped him here too.

 

And Regulus—remembered. Fuck, he remembered.

 

Not everything. Probably not even one percent of the love they shared in the past. But still, it was something. 

 

A start, maybe. Or maybe not.

 

Was that what Regulus actually wanted? Could he become that same Regulus that was capable of loving James again? Was he even capable of loving another human being?

 

“I remembered some things. About us,” he said after several seconds. 

 

James’ eyes grew wide. He took another step closer, almost completely closing the distance between them. “What did you remember?” he urged.

 

Regulus began playing with his hands in nervousness and stared down at the ground.

 

“Not much,” he said. “Just some—flashes.”

 

James drew a deep breath in. 

 

“Tell me.”

 

Regulus looked up. James’ blue eyes were pleading; desperate. 

 

“Every memory I had still involved the maze, whether I was talking to you or others. I think that was why they came back to me,” he said coolly, though his voice shook at the end. “I remembered our six month anniversary, though.”

 

A faint sob pushed past James’ lips. 

 

Regulus pressed his lips together and hugged himself. “I—I remember it. I remember the last time we saw each other too.” His gaze never left James’ as he spoke. “I—made them angry. I made him angry. I thought I was going to die, so I went to you.”

 

His jaw had begun trembling. 

 

James’ hands closed and opened uncontrollably, as though he wanted to reach out for him but restrained himself.

 

“I told you to run,” Regulus wailed. His voice was pained. Because he was in pain. He’d never felt that much pain in his heart before remembering that. “I told you that I loved you. Forever. But you didn’t run. You—you’re here.” He felt his eyes getting glassy out of nowhere. “Why are you here, James?”

 

The corner of James’ lips curled down. He blinked rapidly. Despair was visible across his face. 

 

“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I don’t care.”

 

Regulus faintly furrowed his brows. 

 

“I don’t care,” James repeated more firmly. “I’m here. I’m with you. I’d do anything to be with you. Even being trapped inside a fucking maze.”

 

Regulus widened his eyes in daze. 

 

How could he possibly say something like this? How could he even—think something so unhinged and wrong? 

 

“Don’t—don’t say that.” Regulus shook his head. “You don’t get it. I—it’s my fault, James. I made this. I created this. And I—I involved you because you were my boyfriend. You should despise me.”

 

James’ eyes flashed. He grabbed Regulus’ shirt and pulled him closer. “Don’t you dare fucking say that,” James breathed over his face. “Ever again. There’s not a single organ or bone inside my body that isn’t screaming that I’m utterly in love with you and devoted to you. You didn’t involve me in anything. I may not remember anything about the maze, but I definitely know this.”

 

There was a long silence after that.

 

Their breaths mingling with one another filled the entirety of the tent.

 

Regulus was—he didn’t know what he was. How he was feeling. Toward himself, toward the others. Toward James.

 

It’d be useful to have his mind reminding him how fucked up this situation was. How fucked up he was about everything.

 

But the only thing he could hear at the moment was his heart calling James’ name repeatedly. 

 

“I’m fucked up,” Regulus said after several minutes. “I’m fucked up in the head. Look around you. Look at what I did.” He laughed bitterly. “I’m dangerous, James. You need to run away from me as fast as possible.”

 

He noticed the muscle on James’ jaw twitch uncontrollably. “I’m not giving up on you,” he said coolly. As though he was certain of it.

 

Regulus laughed again. 

 

He was so stubborn. So fucking stubborn even though the situation was clear as day.

 

“I’m not that Regulus anymore, James. I don’t remember shit about us beside two fucking memories.”

 

“Then let me be your fucking memory,” James replied, almost yelling.

 

Regulus flinched and widened his eyes.

 

“Let me be your memory,” James repeated softer. “I’ll tell you who you are. I’ll tell you about the times I made chocolate for you. The times we sang together in my car. Our first kiss. Our first date. Our first time. I’ll tell you everything about us,” he cried. A tear slipped down one of his blue eyes. 

 

Those eyes. He loved them. He loved them. 

 

“That’s why I told you to ask me things. I want us to come back as we were. I don’t care about anything that you’ve done,” James continued. He cupped his cheeks and brought their foreheads together. “I don’t care. I just want you. I love you. I love you. You loved me too. Please let me remind you. Please, open your heart to me again,” he begged.

 

James kept murmuring promises and pleadings over his face, making it almost impossible to think rationally. 

 

He shouldn’t. Regulus really shouldn’t. 

 

He had to fix things first. With the others. With Sirius, maybe. With himself, most of all. 

 

He had to forgive himself. 

 

Could he even be capable of forgiving himself after what he’d done? 

 

Think rationally, he kept echoing inside his brain. 

 

But his heart. 

 

Oh, his heart. It had never screamed so loud. He always kept it silent, at bay. 

 

But how could he now? After remembering James’ loving eyes studying him. After remembering the taste of his skin that still lingered on his lips. 

 

After remembering the sound of his voice as he said to James that he loved him.

 

Regulus loved James. Or—used to. But he had. He had. He was capable of loving. He was capable of loving James. He’d felt it. And James loved him. He loved him then, and he loved him now.

 

And Regulus just wanted to feel something. To feel. To feel. 

 

How fucking much he wanted to feel. 

 

“Tell me about our first kiss,” he whispered against James’ lips.

 

James fluttered his eyes closed. He took one of his hands on Regulus’ curls and curled it inside. 

 

A shiver went down Regulus’ spine. 

 

He remembered. He remembered. He remembered.

 

“I was driving you home,” James murmured. A faint smile crept over his lips. “We were in my car. It was night. You were talking about something, I don’t really remember what. But you were—,” he breathed out shakily. “You were so beautiful. I kept thinking about it. The moon was lighting up half of your face as you kept rambling. And I just—I pulled you closer. And kissed you.”

 

So James had kissed him first. Of course, he had.

 

Their lips were practically brushing with one another now. 

 

And Regulus didn’t want to move away. He didn’t. 

 

He wanted to feel. And feel.

 

“Did I kiss you back?” he asked against James’ lips.

 

A wet laugh escaped from James’ mouth. “You told me you couldn’t wait anymore.”

 

I can’t, he almost screamed.

 

He couldn’t wait anymore.

 

“James,” Regulus sighed. He was desperate. Desperate to feel. Desperate to love. 

 

And James—James understood immediately. 

 

He brought one of his hands on Regulus’ neck and leaned an inch closer, and their lips touched. 

 

None of them moved. Their lips stayed pressed with one another unmoving. He felt a salty tear drop between their lips, and Regulus had no idea from which one of them it was coming from. 

 

It wouldn’t be that insane for him to cry from the amount of things he was feeling at the moment.

 

Oh, how much he was feeling. He’d never felt so many things at once. 

 

Here, he thought.

 

I belong here.

 

Forever. Forever. He wanted to feel like this forever.

 

James was so warm. Warm like the sun. Warm like home.

 

His eyes were blue like ice—but his touch. His touch could warm even a cold soul like Regulus’. 

 

And Regulus never wanted to feel cold again. 

Notes:

The Scientist - Coldplay.

Chapter 16: Baby

No one at camp uttered a word for hours. 

 

No fights, no arguments, no yells. Nothing. 

 

Just complete silence.

 

The screaming coming from the tent where James and Regulus had disappeared into had stopped long ago. Everyone assumed that they had probably fallen asleep. 

 

The faint howls of the wind and Barty’s boots crunching loudly against the snow as he paced frenziedly were the only sounds one could hear at the moment. He seemed to have some roller skates on his feet from how fast he was marching around, Dorcas thought as she peeked at him from the corner of her eye.

 

She drew a deep breath in and moved her gaze toward James’ and Regulus’ tent. She forced herself desperately not to storm inside and ask Regulus another million questions. 

 

It didn’t make sense. Any of it. 

 

Well, some of it did, to be honest. 

 

It made so much sense, actually. Every small thing that had occurred between Regulus and the maze now had a reason to exist. To happen. 

 

It wasn't casual. It wasn’t a coincidence.

 

Regulus had created it. Regulus had created the maze. He’d built it. And trapped all of them inside it. She didn’t know the reason why, but she knew this. 

 

The words sounded sour as she repeated them in her mind. 

 

How could they have missed it? How could they have not noticed? The hints had been right there in front of their eyes. 

 

Stupid. So stupid. 

 

She closed her eyes and sighed. 

 

She cared about Regulus. She loved him. That was a fact; something she knew, too. He was her friend, and part of their small, protective family. From day one.

 

She’d never hurt him. She’d always protect him. Always. The others too. 

 

But, well. A betrayal was a betrayal, no matter how much love could muffle it. 

 

Would she ever be able to completely forgive him? She didn’t know. 

 

There was no possible way for her to know. No matter how much she willed herself to. No matter how much she reminded herself of how much she loved him.

 

She could only wonder.

 

“It doesn’t make sense,” Barty mumbled under his breath. His eyes were fixed on the ground beneath his feet. “It doesn’t make sense. Any of it.” 

 

Dorcas eyed him with pity. If she was having trouble dealing with what had just happened, she wouldn’t dare think about how Barty was going to. 

 

“What doesn’t?” Pandora whispered as she hesitantly raised her head from her knees. 

 

Barty began waving his hands frantically in the air. “Some things aren’t—connecting with each other. Some of the stuff Reg said, when you piece them together—they don’t make sense. At all,” he said as he knit his brows. As though he was both concentrating and utterly confused at the same time.  

 

Dorcas pursed her lips. She honestly didn’t even remember most of the things Regulus had said. Her brain had sort of—short-circuited as soon as the words I made the maze had left his mouth.

 

Evan sighed, carding one hand through his blonde hair. “Like what?” he asked Barty. “There’s nothing to connect here, really. He said it. He created the maze with James. We used to be friends, and he still put us here.” He huffed a bitter laugh before speaking again. “He put us here.”

 

Barty vigorously shook his head, as though he was certain of what he was saying. “That’s what he said after. When he started rambling about injections and labs and shit,” he said. There was a mad glint in his eyes as he spoke. 

 

Dorcas furrowed her brows. She had no idea what Barty was trying to tell them. “I’m not following, Barts,” she said, folding her arms against her chest.

 

Barty marched in front of them, flitting his eyes wildly from one face to the other. He appeared completely insane, with his eyes snapped open and hair flying up in every direction. He drew a deep breath in. “When—when he woke up, he said that he didn’t know. He kept repeating it. That he didn’t know,” he said, agitated. “I think he was talking about us. I—I’m sure of it. He made the maze, alright. But our involvement—I think he knew nothing about that. It wasn’t his plan.”

 

Dorcas flinched as though burnt by fire. 

 

It wasn’t—that wasn’t a possible theory.

 

It would be too good to be true. Something too great for it to happen to them. Them. Who for a month and a half had only been having horrible news or dreadful things thrown from every direction. 

 

They couldn't be that fortunate.

 

“Did he really say that?” Evan whispered, pushing himself up and quickly drawing closer to Barty. 

 

Barty gave an earnest nod. “Yes. When he woke up. I’m sure.”

 

“I remember it too,” said Pandora firmly, though her voice was shaking.

 

Dorcas’ bottom lip began trembling. She gnawed at it hard, forcing herself not to cry in relief. 

 

Don’t delude yourself, she echoed inside her head.

 

There’s probably another explanation.

 

She began stuttering. “We—we can’t be sure, Barty. It—it could’ve meant anything. Anything. He wasn’t in the right mind when he woke up,” she urged, voice almost cracking. “And he would’ve told us, right? He told us everything.” She didn’t know if she was trying to convince herself or the others.

 

Evan raised one shoulder. Then he glanced at Barty. “She has a point,” he murmured, lips curling down faintly. “He wouldn't have missed a detail so essential.” 

 

“Bullshit,” Barty growled in frustration, rolling his darkened eyes. “You know how he is. I know how he is,” he said. His voice was hard and unwavering. “He probably had some survivors’ guilt shit happening inside his stupid brain and completely dismissed the most important detail in the entire fucking conversation.”

 

“Survivors' guilt is for people that are dead, Barty,” Evan pointed out, arching one brow.

 

“Same thing,” muttered Barty. “The point is—Regulus hasn’t told us everything. I can bet my own fucking life on it.”

 

There was a long silence after that.

 

Dorcas’ brain began twisting and turning, as a million theories knocked into her at once. 

 

Barty could be right. That was a fact. If Regulus had actually repeated the phrase I don’t know—which apparently he had—there could be a possibility that he was unaware about their involvement with the maze. He’d still created it, which wasn’t—ideal. But definitely better. So much better.

 

He had also tried to help them, apparently. Injected them with a mysterious substance; not because he felt guilty, but because he genuinely wanted to help them.

 

It’d be a dream if that was the case. 

 

But Dorcas wasn’t really a dreamer. She was a realist.

 

And as such she knew that the possibility of Barty being wrong was just as high—maybe even more. 

 

It was only a phrase, after all. One single phrase that could hold a million different meanings.

 

Barty was definitely a dreamer. And she didn’t even blame him for it. 

 

A short sob echoed through the camp. 

 

Pandora quickly hid her face back over her knees. Her shoulders began trembling, and she started hiccuping wildly. 

 

Dorcas felt the corner of the mouth curl down as she watched her. “Dora,” she murmured, drawing closer. 

 

Pandora’s sobs grew louder. “I—I—I love you guys,” she moaned, voice strangled. “Regulus too. And the others too. I don’t want us to fight. I—I don’t care what Regulus did. I know he’d never hurt us on purpose.” She raised her head from her knees. Her cheeks were drenched with tears; her eyes completely rimmed red and shining. 

 

Dorcas brushed the tears with her thumb, gently caressing Pandora’s cheek. 

 

She felt Barty and Evan approaching them quietly, sitting down right beside them. 

 

She was so grateful for them. Despite everything. They were the best thing she could’ve asked for in the hell this maze was. She’d relive every moment of fright, panic or anger just to have them in her life. 

 

“We’ll be alright, Dora,” Evan whispered, taking her hand in his. 

 

Pandora sniffled with her nose. “With Regulus too?” she asked them, voice shaking. 

 

Barty nodded. “We’ll wake up tomorrow and we’ll make him explain everything. Everything. Trust me. I’m never wrong,” he said unwaveringly, eyes and voice filled with determination.  

 

Dorcas wished she were just one percent certain as he was. 

 

Evan snorted. “Right.”

 

Pandora smiled faintly and then glanced over to the other group. Dorcas followed her gaze. 

 

The others were sitting down on the snowy ground, forming a small circle. 

 

Remus was speaking to his group, waving his hands in the air. As though he was trying to convince them of something. Sirius was right beside him. He seemed utterly devastated; his lips appeared to be trembling. 

 

Dorcas wondered what his deal with Regulus was. His reaction to Regulus’ attack had honestly scared her. She’d never seen someone look so viscerally in pain. She wasn’t sure she’d ever witness something quite like that for the rest of her life. 

 

Mary, Marlene and Lily were nestled together under a blanket. They seemed to be carefully listening to whatever things Remus was saying. Peter stood apart from everyone as he hugged himself tightly, as though he wished to isolate himself.

 

Dorcas closed her eyes as soon as they landed on Marlene. 

 

She wasn’t sorry about her earlier lash-out. She’d never apologize for defending her friend. Never. Even if it meant ruining the fragile little bond they’d been carefully threading together. 

 

Friends over anything. Love, especially. 

 

Just like people say. 

 

Remus suddenly stood. His brown eyes flitted to them, then back to his friends.

 

He sighed deeply. “We need to talk,” he said, gaze moving from one group to the other. “All of us. Together. Now.”

 

“What’s there to talk about?” Barty sneered. “You just threatened to murder our friend,” he said coldly.

 

Remus’ jaw clenched. “No one will threaten anyone. I promise.” He marched toward them with clear purpose in his eyes. He took a deep breath when he halted in front of them. “I think Regulus hasn’t told us everything.”

 

Dorcas’ eyes grew wide automatically. 

 

So they noticed too. It wasn’t simply a desperate theory made up by Barty in hopes to redeem Regulus. 

 

It was real. A real possibility.

 

Her hopeful side grew slightly bigger as she stood. She watched Remus for a moment. “Let’s talk, then.”

 

Maybe she was a dreamer too, after all.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Regulus had no dreams or memories that night. 

 

His mind felt at peace, maybe for the first time in months. He fluttered his eyes open and was met with James’ sleeping face. 

 

He pressed his lips together and studied him carefully. He’d come to realize that watching James sleep was probably one of the things he liked doing the most. 

 

He watched as James’ chest rose and fell evenly; as he released small puffs of breath from his parted mouth. 

 

Regulus bit his lip and drew a deep breath in. His mind replayed the moments of the night prior relentlessly. 

 

James’ desperation. The tears. Their lips. 

 

His heart. His heart had never felt like that before. So full. So warm. 

 

He wasn’t sure he was deserving of it. Of love. James. All of it. 

 

It’d take everything in him to be able to feel worthy of love again. He didn’t know if he had enough strength inside to do that. 

 

How was someone supposed to relearn how to love? He wished he had an answer.

 

He didn’t. 

 

He didn’t know how to love. To cherish. To worship. 

 

There was no manual to learn that. No instructions. It wasn’t something that he could study or analyze, unfortunately. It’d be much easier—especially for him. But nothing in Regulus’ life was easy. He had resigned himself and accepted it. 

 

“You’re staring,” James grumbled hoarsely, making him jolt slightly.

 

Regulus promptly closed his eyes. “I’m not,” he muttered. 

 

He heard James chuckle under his breath. 

 

He felt one hand reach out for him as it gently began stroking his cheek. Regulus hummed unconsciously, savoring the familiar touch; just one was able to completely bury the relentless doubts that desperately tried to knock down the barriers of his mind. 

 

“Did you sleep well?” James asked him, voice low.

 

Regulus gave a faint nod. “My back hurts a bit.” 

 

He’d been so caught up on his memories that he hadn’t even realized how much his back ached. He was certain he’d felt it pulse just seconds ago. 

 

James gave him a faint smile. “It’s probably from the Dementor’s attack. It slammed you against the door,” he said. His voice shook at the end. As though the emotions of that day were still buried inside of him. 

 

Regulus’ mouth twisted. He wondered how difficult it must have been for James. He had never truly stopped himself to think about it. Remembering them, their relationship, their past. From the very first day. And not being able to do anything about it. 

 

Regulus had no idea how he’d managed. He himself only recalled a glimmer of what their relationship had been like and he already felt as though he were going insane. He wouldn’t dare think about what he would’ve done in James’ shoes. 

 

He’d come to the simple conclusion that James was probably way stronger than him. 

 

He slowly drew his hand at the top of James’. He gulped loudly and began rubbing slow circles over James’ skin with his thumb. 

 

James promptly began shivering beneath him. 

 

It felt right. Despite him never initiating any sort of physical contact, touching James always felt right. 

 

James released a relieved sigh as he watched him. He appeared like a starving man savoring a piece of meat every time Regulus’ thumb grazed his hand. 

 

“You know,” Regulus said after several seconds, voice barely audible. “The nightmares. I never really talked about them because they simply didn’t make sense to me. But, well. Now I guess I can say it.” He bit the inside of his cheek. “It was you. Your voice.” 

 

James’ blue eyes grew wide in surprise. “Me?”

 

Regulus hummed. “I don’t know how I didn’t recognize it at first but…yes. It was you,” he breathed out, eyes intent on James’ face. “It’s always been you.” 

 

Despite having tormented him for more than a month, he felt grateful for his nightmares.

 

They’d become the only small hint he had of the true meaning of love; the only small hint of how much James truly meant for him in their past life.

 

His most frightening nightmare was James calling his name desperately. 

 

That had to be a sign of love. It must have been.

 

James gave a low sigh. He then slipped his hand from Regulus’ face to his back, giving gentle strokes there, probably to try and ease the ache. 

 

Regulus moaned in pain at the touch. 

 

It hurt so much he could start crying at any moment. 

 

“Lily will know how to treat it,” James said, voice as reassuring as possible. 

 

Regulus’ throat went dry as soon as he heard the mention of her name. 

 

Lily. Mary. Marlene. Peter. Remus. Sirius.

 

Sirius.

 

Sirius.

 

They hated him. Despised him. Rightfully so. No matter how many details he’d left behind. They’d always hate him. And he’d always deserve it. 

 

Always.

 

Regulus felt as though he was going to drown in regret.

 

“Stop,” James ordered, voice suddenly hard. “I know where you’re going. Where your mind is going. Stop it, Reg.”

 

Regulus’ lips curled down at once. “I can’t stop it, James,” he murmured. “Not after everything I’ve done.” 

 

James’ eyes darkened. “Yes, you can. And you will,” he said as though he was certain. “We’ll talk to them and—they’ll understand.” His hand moved up to Regulus’ jaw, cupping it firmly. He stared intently at his eyes. “They will.”

 

Regulus swallowed hard. 

 

He wished he was as positive as him. As certain as him. But, as was clear, Regulus wasn’t really a positive person. 

 

And honestly? He wasn’t sure he wanted the others to forgive him. Not even his friends.

 

He gave James a short nod and slowly sat up. His back ached so much he was certain some bones weren’t in the right place anymore. 

 

He closed his teeth together to suppress any sound of pain. He didn’t want to look like a victim in front of the others. He knew he was anything but that. 

 

He was the executioner. 

 

“You ready?” James asked him, slowly standing up. 

 

Regulus gave a deep breath in. Then out. 

 

“Yes,” he then said, reaching for the tent flap. “I’m ready.” 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

Every single pair of eyes at camp went on him as soon as he stepped out of the tent. 

 

Despite the harsh chill in the air, Regulus knew that the trembles that shook his body had nothing to do with the cold. 

 

His body froze as he stared back at his friends—or what used to be his friends. He wasn’t worthy of that title anymore. 

 

Everyone was already awake around the firepit, seemingly eating what Regulus assumed was breakfast. He had completely lost track of time, so he wasn’t really sure if it was morning or afternoon. 

 

Everything seemed…unusually normal. No one was fighting. No one was screaming, or threatening one another.  

 

Regulus wondered what could have possibly happened for the mood to change so abruptly. 

 

A warm hand pushed him by the small of his back, prodding him to walk. He didn’t. He couldn’t. His legs stood still in terror as he examined every single expression before him; he looked attentively for any trace of resentment or rage, but he couldn’t find any. 

 

It made him even more astounded. 

 

“Good morning,” Lily said after a minute, giving him a faint smile. “Breakfast’s ready. There’s jam and bread and—yeah,” she blurted out as she pointed at the cooking area near the fire. 

 

Regulus’ eyes grew wide, dazed. 

 

Why was no one brutally cursing at him or yelling at him? Why did everything seem so fucking calm? Was he hallucinating? 

 

“Let’s go,” James whispered over his ear, taking his hand in his and then walking them toward the firepit. 

 

Regulus’ feet moved on their own with the support of James. He knew his legs would’ve given out without him. 

 

He never once left the stares of his friends as he walked. 

 

He and James hesitantly sat down next to Barty, who promptly gave the both of them a genuine smile for the first time—ever. “How’s the head? Better?” Barty asked him, giving him a small pat over his thigh and then squeezed it. 

 

“Here,” Remus said as he passed them four pieces of bread. “Eat. There’s plenty.” He beamed as a brown string of hair fell over his eyes. 

 

“If you still have a headache me and Lily will treat it for you, Reg,” Pandora said, glancing at Lily who promptly nodded in agreement. “Sure. Whenever you want,” said Lily.

 

Regulus felt as though someone had just tore his mind open and added poison inside it. 

 

He felt maniacal. He probably was. 

 

He glanced at James beside him, who appeared just as stunned as he was. 

 

Regulus wondered if he was dreaming. Maybe he was. Perhaps the nightmares hadn’t truly stopped. Perhaps he was simply stuck inside one. 

 

It seemed like the only reasonable theory at the moment.

 

He opened his mouth to speak. Then he closed it. He couldn’t find the right words to say. The right things to ask without sounding utterly rattled. 

 

“I know,” Remus started as he looked at him. “You’re probably wondering what happened. I promise, we haven’t gotten mad.” He released a quiet chuckle and then cleared his throat. “Well, you see. Yesterday night we all—had a big confrontation about the things you said, and we noticed some…discrepancies.”

 

Regulus shook. His hands wrapped tightly over the pieces of bread in his hands. 

 

Of course they did. Of course they still thought he was lying. 

 

“I didn’t lie yesterday,” he said unwaveringly, forcing his voice to sound steady.

 

“We’re not saying that you lied, Reg,” Dorcas quickly countered. “We just think that maybe…you haven’t told us everything.” She sighed and bit her lip. “Have you? Told us everything?”

 

Her voice sounded eager, though Regulus could sense a faint hint of hope laced in it. He could perceive it in her expression too. 

 

If he was honest, he could perceive it in everyone’s expression. Rage and disappointment had completely vanished on their faces, leaving a quiet but clear expectation as they stared at him.

 

Only one person wasn’t directly looking at him.

 

He glanced at Sirius for the first time that morning. 

 

Sirius was silent, gaze intent on the ground beneath him. The muscles on his jaw were twitching uncontrollably. He seemed…empty. He didn’t have that same hopeful glint as the others. 

 

He looked like a body without a soul. 

 

Mary, Marlene and Peter were silent too, but staring at him intently. As though they were bracing themselves for whatever thing he was about to say.  

 

He inhaled and placed his bread on the ground. His stomach had completely closed. 

 

“I haven’t,” he said after several seconds. 

 

He felt Barty release a deep breath through his nose from beside him, appearing relieved. “Alright—that’s—alright,” he said, nodding. “Better. That’s—better. That’s what I thought. What we all thought, really.”

 

Remus slowly drew closer, approaching him like he would approach a wounded animal.“What didn’t you tell us?”

 

Regulus wondered if that’s how they saw him. Like a fragile, weak creature. He forced himself not to laugh bitterly. 

 

So much for hiding weaknesses from day one. Look where it got him. 

 

Regulus drew a deep breath in and met the gazes of his friends seriously. He truly hoped this would be the last time he was forced to revisit those daunting memories. But if they wanted a better and clearer explanation, then so be it. They deserved it. He owed it to them.

 

“I told you we used to work for them. All of us. In this thing called The Order. There’s a man that leads it all, pretty old. He’s the one that asked me to build the maze.”

 

Lily pursed her lips. “And you did, with the help of James. Because something ‘bad’ is happening in the outside world.”

 

Regulus nodded. “I don’t really know the connection between the two things—one of you on the first floor discovered something and apparently the maze was the only solution.”

 

Mary arched one brow. “Discovered something?”

 

“Yes,” Regulus replied, forcing his voice not to shake; his entire body was already doing that. Simply reliving those awful memories with words made his stomach lurch into itself. 

 

He was starting to feel extremely nauseous.

 

“And then you decided to trap us—your friends—here and regretted it like a coward,” Marlene said as he eyed him accusingly. “Is that true, Regulus? Or is it not?” 

 

Regulus’ throat closed.

 

It’s not, he wanted to scream. 

 

I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I didn’t know. 

 

But it was his fault anyway. If he’d never agreed, if he’d simply listened to Sirius—

 

No.

 

He had to ruin his life. His friends’. And his boyfriend’s. 

 

He felt like vomiting from how much he despised himself.

 

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. His voice was hard. He shook his head sharply. “It—it doesn’t matter. I—I built this. All of this. It’s my fault. Everything else—it’s useless. It doesn’t matter that I did it for a good cause or that—I didn’t know you’d volunteer to enter—

 

“What the fuck did you just say?” Mary bellowed as she shot up from the ground. 

 

He felt Barty and James both stiffen from beside him. 

 

“What?” James breathed out. 

 

Regulus immediately closed his eyes. 

 

He wasn’t supposed to say it like that. He wasn’t supposed to say it, period. He’d given them so much terrible news already. He didn’t want to cause them any more harm. 

 

He didn’t, but he had. He had done it in the past. And he was doing it now. 

 

The executioner. He was always the executioner. 

 

“Regulus, you need to repeat what you just said. Right now,” said Lily. Her expression seemed utterly horrified. 

 

Regulus swallowed hard. It felt useless to hide things now.

 

 “I was promised the maze would be tested on animals. No humans were supposed to be involved. The man who ordered me to build it changed the plans without telling me, or James. I found out just hours before the trials began.” His voice caught as the memories replayed in his mind. “He told me he was sending you. He told me he was sending you because you’d volunteered.” His eyes automatically went to Sirius; he was now watching him with an utterly devastated expression. 

 

The words poured out automatically.

 

“I—I tried to save you. I swear, I did. I wanted to save you. I didn’t know you were involved. You weren’t. I would have never accepted otherwise.” He choked on the last words as he stared at Sirius. “I wanted to save you.”

 

He needed Sirius to believe him. They all needed to believe him. At least on this part. 

 

They needed to believe that he’d done everything to try and save them, even though he didn’t remember what.

 

James grabbed his arm. “Are you sure?” His eyes were pleading. “Are you absolutely sure, Regulus? That they volunteered?”

 

He wavered for a moment. Then he nodded. “I’m sure,” he said earnestly.

 

There was a chilling silence after that. 

 

Everyone stared at him in shock. Disbelief. Bewilderment. 

 

He wanted to curl into himself and disappear.

 

He wanted to apologize. Again and again. 

 

Sorry. Sorry for everything. Sorry for never being a good friend. Sorry because I’m only capable of disappointing you. Sorry because I keep hurting you.

 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Pandora asked him after several minutes. Her eyes were rimmed red. 

 

Regulus sighed. “It wasn’t important. It’d only make you sadder,” he glanced at her eyes, “and it did, clearly.”

 

“It wasn’t important?!” screamed Marlene, startling everyone. “Regulus, it was essential. The very first thing you should’ve told us. You—you had nothing to do with us being here. That changes everything.”

 

He promptly shook his head. 

 

No. No. No. 

 

“You…you also tried to save us,” Remus whispered as he knelt down in front of him. “Regulus, you did everything you could.”

 

No. No. No. 

 

“I still made the maze,” he said bitterly. “What did I achieve by trying to save you? Mm? What the fuck did I achieve? You’re still here. I’m still here. And they’ve probably thrown James here just to get back at me.” He stood up abruptly. “Frank is dead. He’s dead. He transformed into that thing because of something that I created,” he raged. 

 

Everyone promptly flinched at the mention of Frank.

 

He didn’t care. He didn’t stop. He couldn’t. 

 

He didn’t deserve forgiveness. Not even an ounce of it.

 

“You can’t simply—erase that. You can’t,” he finished, closing his eyes. 

 

As soon as the last words pushed past his lips, Barty stood up from the ground, jaw clenched. “It doesn’t matter.”

 

Regulus whirled his head toward him. “What?” he whispered.

 

“It doesn’t matter, Reg,” Barty repeated earnestly. “The people we used to be in the past—they don’t matter anymore. They don’t exist. We’ve buried them the moment we woke up here and remembered nothing.” He edged closer, and their faces were now inches apart. Regulus could see the endless shades of blue on Barty’s irises from how close they were. “We’re not the same people anymore. You are not the same Regulus anymore. Let us forget about it.” His eyes were dark but soft. It was a weird combination.

 

Regulus’ bottom lip trembled. He fought back the urge to burst into tears in front of them. “I don’t want you guys to forget about it,” he breathed out. His voice came out pained.  

 

He was in so much pain and guilt he felt as though he’d die from it.

 

“Then let us forgive you, at least. We want to forgive you. I want to,” Barty whispered. His fists closed and opened repeatedly. As though he wanted to reach out for him but forced himself not to. “Forgive yourself, Reg.”

 

Regulus fluttered his eyes closed and said nothing. His lips were trembling too much. Perhaps his entire body was.

 

Forgive yourself. 

 

The words sounded impossible in his mind. 

 

How? Tell me how to do it. I don’t think I can do it by myself.

 

He felt one hand grabbing his own tightly. He slowly opened his eyes and saw his friends standing in front of him with tears in their eyes. 

 

All of  them. Even Evan. He’d mock him for it if he wasn’t on the verge of tears. 

 

“I forgive you, Reg,” whispered Pandora as she squeezed his hand. She sniffled. “I forgive you.”

 

“I forgive you,” whispered Evan and Dorcas. 

 

The others stood up too. 

 

They edged closer and looked at him, murmuring the same phrase over and over again. 

 

Lily. Remus. Mary. Marlene. Peter. 

 

Every single one of them. Even the ones he didn’t expect.

 

They forgave him. Even after all they’d been enduring because of him.

 

They forgave him even before he could do it himself.

 

He could live a thousand lives and still never deserve these people.

 

Sirius was the last to stand. He cautiously drew closer, his silver eyes never leaving Regulus. They studied each other carefully for a moment as uneasiness spread all over Regulus’ body. 

 

He felt as though there was something unsaid between them. Something they’d been trying so hard to hide for so long. 

 

“Let’s talk,” Sirius said after several seconds before stalking away from camp, right where the first corridor of the maze started.

 

Regulus swallowed hard. He threw a quick glance at James, who smiled at him reassuringly. “Go,” he mouthed silently, prompting him to follow Sirius.

 

And he did. 

 

He followed Sirius through the long snowy corridor, rubbing his hands together to warm them slightly. The temperature inside the maze seemed to be dropping with every passing second. 

 

Sirius halted as soon as they reached the middle of the corridor. He hid his hands in the pockets of his jeans, perhaps to find some sort of warmth too. 

 

Regulus could feel his heart pounding wildly in his ears as he slowly approached him.

 

He knew this conversation was coming, though he wasn’t sure he was ready. 

 

He didn’t know what to say. How to say it. 

 

He still hadn’t processed properly what he had seen, less so what he’d felt. Perhaps it had been slightly easier with James, due to his utterly convincing and devastating words of the previous night. 

 

But with Sirius—that was a whole different story.

 

There was no tragic love story. No forgotten memories about a past romantic relationship. 

 

There were two boys, so different yet similar by names, who simply didn’t like each other. 

 

That was the brief summary. 

 

But, well. Regulus wasn’t sure it reflected the reality of facts anymore. 

 

“You know,” Sirius started after a minute, eyes fixed on the sky above them. “I love the stars. Sometimes I don’t even sleep just to stare at them for as long as I can.” 

 

Regulus glanced at him. 

 

The corners of Sirius’ lips were faintly curled up. The cold wind gently brushed against his long, brown hair, getting them over his face. 

 

“I like them too,” Regulus whispered after several seconds, looking up. 

 

The sky was endlessly white. No sun or clouds. Definitely no stars. It looked plain and soulless.

 

“It’s a pity there’s no stars at the moment,” he heard Sirius breathe out. 

 

Yes, Regulus thought. 

 

It’s a pity there’s no stars helping me get through this. 

 

There was a long silence.

 

Time passed. The wind howled. Their eyes never left the white sky above them. 

 

“When I saw the Dementor take you,” Sirius said after several minutes. Regulus whirled his head toward him. 

 

It seemed like Sirius was forcing the words out of his mouth. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt so terrified in my life.” He closed his eyes in defeat. As though he’d just admitted something utterly shameful. 

 

Regulus willed himself not to snap his eyes wide open at the confession. 

 

“Not during the tests. Not when Remus passed out that day. Not even when I woke up here,” Sirius continued. He turned around to face him properly before speaking again. “Can you give me an answer for that?” His voice shook at the end. 

 

Sirius’ question sounded more like a plea rather than an inquiry. 

 

Regulus swallowed hard as he stared at Sirius in the eyes. 

 

He wavered before answering. Not because he didn’t want to. But because he had no proper answer to give him. 

 

Sirius had only appeared two times in his memories.

 

He’d seen them argue. Yell at one another. He’d seen the look of disgust in Sirius’ face when Regulus didn’t change his mind about the maze. He’d felt anger, disappointment and irritation. 

 

But he’d also seen Sirius lying in a bed, utterly hopeless, ready to sacrifice himself for the greater good.

 

And Regulus had felt—Regulus had felt. Things he didn’t know were possible. At least not for Sirius. A worry and a care so visceral he could perceive it in every single molecule of his body. 

 

“When I injected you—all of you,” Regulus whispered after a minute. He looked away from Sirius, unable to hold his gaze. “I don’t know why, it’s stupid. But—” he sighed and pressed his eyes shut. “But I think I did it for you, specifically.” 

 

He heard a choked sigh escape from Sirius’ mouth.

 

“For—for me?”

 

Regulus swallowed a hard lump in his throat and opened his eyes. 

 

He found Sirius staring at him, eyes glittering. He appeared on the verge of tears. 

 

Regulus gave a short nod. “For you,” he breathed out. “I—I wanted to save you.”

 

Sirius’ mouth twitched. His shoulders began trembling. 

 

He gave a choked laugh as he ran both of his hands through his long hair. 

 

He seemed—relieved. 

 

Regulus wondered why. 

 

“Shit,” Sirius breathed out, now fully laughing in disbelief. “I—I thought I was the only one. I thought I was going insane.” He shook his head. “I was…so angry at you the first few days. Every time I’d look at you I’d feel this—rage. It was making me sick. But then James showed up and he knew your name and I—” His voice caught. “I felt…weird. Like I was afraid he’d do something to you. That’s why I asked the two groups to have the search together that morning. Because I wanted to keep an eye on you. I wanted to—protect you.” The words spilled out of his mouth without stopping. Like a shattered glass of water. “I always want to protect you.”

 

Regulus felt as though someone had just ripped open his heart and poured every single existing emotion inside. He’d never felt like this. Never. 

 

Not with his friends. Not with Barty. Not even with James.

 

He wondered how it had been possible. All of this. How had he and the Order been capable of erasing and suppressing a care so profound he thought it didn’t exist.

 

How. How. How. 

 

How had he erased it all? How had he spent more than a month hating the boy before him, when all he could feel right now as he stared at him was a devastatingly raw and profound care for him?

 

“Do—do you think we were friends?” Sirius asked him after a pause. His voice was shaking, but his eyes—they seemed hopeful. Like that was the answer he’d been searching for the entire time.

 

Regulus pressed his lips together. 

 

He hesitated for a long time as he carefully thought about a reasonable answer to give him. A right one. An honest one. 

 

“I think we were…closer than that, despite the fighting.” He looked down toward the snow beneath his feet. He bit the inside of his cheek and breathed out. “Best friends, maybe.” 

 

Sirius watched him with an unreadable expression for a moment. He appeared to be considering what Regulus had said carefully. 

 

Then he smiled as though he liked the idea. “Us? Best friends?” 

 

Regulus raised one shoulder. He felt himself growing slightly embarrassed. 

 

“Maybe not. I don’t know what the fuck we were, Sirius.” He crossed his arms against his chest in self defense. 

 

Sirius gnawed at his lip, seemingly trying to suppress a huge grin over his lips. “Best friends, then. Even now?” he said after several seconds. 

 

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself.”

 

“Oh, but I will,” Sirius said cheekily. “You loved me so much you wanted to save us all. That’s cute.” 

 

Regulus grimaced. “I didn’t love you. I never used that word,” he pointed out.

 

Sirius said nothing. Instead, he narrowed his eyes, knelt down, grabbed some snow, made a quick ball, and—

 

Threw it directly at his face without hesitation. 

 

“This is for working with the bad guys,” Sirius said seriously before roaring into laughter.

 

Regulus was so bewildered he was at a loss of words. The snow felt cold against his skin as it slipped from his face down to his neck. He stood there frozen with his mouth opened as Sirius laughed and laughed, so loud the others could probably hear them.  

 

“I should’ve just let you die here,” Regulus deadpanned seriously. 

 

Sirius smirked. “But you didn’t.”

 

He didn’t. 

 

And Regulus was so glad he didn’t. 

 

He’d do it again. And again. And again. 

 

He’d save him even now if Sirius asked him. 

 

It was a scary admission. Something that used to seem utterly unimaginable. 

 

But it was real. A real feeling. The very same one he had felt as he ran through the sterile corridors of the Order. As he desperately injected his unconscious body. Even as he made the maze, in a way.

 

For Sirius. He wanted to save Sirius.

 

And as Sirius laughed in front of him, only one thought circled in Regulus’ mind.

 

I forgive myself. Because despite everything, I did it all for him. 

 

“It’s curious, don’t you think?” Regulus said after several minutes as they walked back to camp. Their arms brushed briefly against one another, but oddly enough, he didn’t feel that familiar repulsive urge to draw away. “Both our names come from the stars. It’s—a funny coincidence.” 

 

He pressed his lips together and willed himself not to feel disappointed. Apparently it was possible for him to be wrong sometimes. 

 

Coincidences, in fact, did exist; they simply weren’t particularly common. 

 

Sirius’ mouth quirked at the corners. He was silent for a moment as he watched him carefully. 

 

“No,” he then said. “I don’t think it’s curious at all, actually.”

 

Regulus wasn’t brave enough to ask him what he meant by that. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The day passed extremely slowly. 

 

They mostly spent it huddled together close to the fire, eating leftovers and murmuring to one another in hushed voices, as it was becoming harder to speak properly; the temperatures kept plummeting more and more with every passing hour. 

 

They knew what that meant. 

 

The final test was approaching. Their last hope. 

 

The last step to freedom, possibly.

 

The maze had been kind to them, waiting so long for Regulus to regain consciousness just in time. He had almost laughed about it. They wouldn’t dare let him miss it. The Order. The old man. All of them.

 

He didn’t mind it, honestly. He didn’t feel scared or anxious.

 

On the contrary, he felt some sort of eagerness about it. He couldn’t wait for it to come. 

 

He wanted to prove to everyone on which side he really was on. He wanted to show them what he’d truly do to get his friends out of his monstrous creation.

 

Everything. He’d do everything to give them their lives back. 

 

And that was exactly his plan. Get them all out tomorrow at any cost.

 

“It’s getting too fucking cold,” Barty rasped as his entire body trembled. “No one’s going to survive a night like this around the firepit. We need to sleep inside the tents. All of us.”

 

“But there’s only four tents,” Mary pointed out as she shivered just as badly. “How can everyone fit?”

 

Lily sighed and pursed her lips in thought. “Two pairs will need to sleep in the same tent.” She quickly glanced around camp with her intent, green eyes. Then she hummed to herself. “Sirius and Remus will take Evan and Barty. Dora and I will take Dorcas and Marlene. Peter and Mary can take one tent, while James and Regulus can take the last one.”

 

Regulus unconsciously bit his lip. He liked that plan.

 

Sirius shot up from the ground with an affronted expression. “Woah woah woah.” He raised his hands in the air. “Why should they sleep with us?” He pointed an accusing finger toward Evan and Barty. 

 

“Oh, don’t worry,” said Evan with a glare. “We don’t want to sleep with you either.”

 

Barty nodded and crossed his arms against his chest. “Right. We don’t want that.” 

 

“Also, why should I sleep with Marlene?” Dorcas asked with knitted brows. 

 

“Oh, fuck you, Dorcas,” said Marlene as she flipped her off.

 

Regulus pressed his lips together to suppress a smile. 

 

He loved them. Truly. All of them. He didn't feel embarrassed or weak anymore by admitting it. 

 

Oddly enough, he felt slightly proud of himself.

 

Lily sighed deeply and rubbed her temples. “Jesus, I just picked the people you woke up close with on the first day. It’s nothing serious.”

 

“James wasn’t here the first day.” Sirius clicked his tongue. “Why are they sleeping together?” he said, tilting his head toward Regulus and James with a frown.

 

Regulus felt James snort from beside him. 

 

“Because they’re together?” Remus said as though it was obvious. 

 

Regulus felt his cheeks promptly heating up at the accusation. “We’re not together,” he blurted out. 

 

“Yet,” James mumbled under his breath.

 

Regulus whipped his head around; a mischievous smirk tugged at the corners of James' lips as he stared at him. His blue eyes glistened with joy.

 

Regulus narrowed his eyes. “Stop it.”

 

James grinned and raised one shoulder. “What?”

 

Lily cleared her throat, getting Regulus’ attention again. “Those are the pairs. Stop acting like fucking kids. If you don’t like them, you can sleep outside and die before the last test. Your choice,” she said authoritatively as she stood.

 

The mood shifted at once at the mention of the last test.

 

Regulus clenched his jaw. His fists closed.

 

He’d never felt so determined to accomplish something in his life.

 

There was a long silence. 

 

“Do you perhaps…remember what the last test is?” Remus asked him after several seconds as he looked at him.

 

Regulus sighed.

 

He didn’t. He’d tried to remember. He’d hoped to remember. 

 

But he didn’t. He’d tried to dissect every corner of his brain carefully, to recall any detail, any word, anything that could give him any sort of hint on how or why he’d structured the tests the way that he had.

 

Nothing. He remembered nothing about the process of the maze’s creation.

 

He wasn’t really surprised though. It’d be too good. Too easy.

 

He shook his head after a minute. “I don’t.”

 

Disappointment washed over the expressions of his friends. 

 

Regulus smiled bitterly to himself. He wished he could’ve given them at least this. But, as was clear, luck wasn’t really on his side. 

 

“I still wonder what the maze’s purpose truly is,” Lily said after several seconds, pursing her lips. “I mean, there must’ve been a very specific reason for how you’d designed it.” She looked at him attentively. “The tests and everything. I wonder what its connection to the situation in the outside world is.”

 

Regulus swallowed. It was a clever question.

 

He hadn’t spent enough time to think about it, honestly. The guilt that had crashed into him had been way bigger than any other question he had about the true reason why the maze was supposed to save the entire world. 

 

“I don’t know,” he simply whispered. That was the only answer he could give.

 

“Still, it’s fucking impressive.” Barty laughed in disbelief and shook his head. “Shit—how old are we? Nineteen? Eighteen? And we used to be fucking scientists already. Great ones, if we were working on a lab that was so important.” He grinned proudly and glanced at Regulus. “And Reg here has built this fucking thing by himself. We were geniuses, guys!”

 

Sirius snorted. “So genius and yet so stupid,” he muttered, giving a playful smile to Regulus.

 

Regulus gave him a threatening glare. Sirius was an expert at pissing him off, that was sure and unchanged. 

 

“What?” Sirius raised his hands in mock self-defense. “You’re the one that got played by an old man and made this shit-hole. You could’ve listened to me.”

 

Regulus scowled. “I didn’t get played. I thought I was doing the right thing,” he fumed, though he wasn’t really angry. He was simply…stating a fact. “Besides, I did it for myself too, if you must know.” His voice lowered noticeably as he uttered those last words.

 

Marlene furrowed her brows. “What do you mean for yourself?”

 

Regulus remembered the pressing feeling of urgency he’d felt as he wondered whether to accept or not the Order’s proposal. The feeling of having to do it because it was important for him, too. For his well-being. 

 

“I don’t really know. It was confusing.” He shook his head. “It’s difficult for me to explain…the emotions of memories.” He threw a quick glance at Sirius and James. “But I felt sort of obligated to do it. Not by others or the Order in general. My mind simply kept telling me that I’d feel better if I accepted it.” 

 

“Maybe you wanted to save yourself too?” asked Pandora as she tilted her head.

 

“No.” Regulus bit his lip. “It wasn’t about saving. It was more like…to forgive myself.”

 

His mind shot back to one specific memory.

 

I need to forgive myself after what happened with Tom.

 

Tom. He’d almost completely forgotten about that detail.

 

“There was a name,” he said after several seconds. “Tom.”

 

James’ body shivered against his. 

 

Regulus glanced at him from the corner of his eyes, confused. James’ expression was blank and seemed normal. He was probably simply cold. 

 

“Tom?” said Evan as he furrowed his brows. “Who the fuck is Tom?”

 

Barty grimaced. “Fucking ugly name. Was he someone that worked with us?”

 

Regulus raised his shoulders. “Don’t know,” he muttered. There was no way for him to know.

 

He wondered what his relationship with Tom had been. Why had Tom been so important to him that he’d felt obligated to build something so repugnant as the maze? Why had he felt an unrelenting need to forgive himself as the memories played in his mind?

 

He had no answers. 

 

He hoped that as time passed, some other memories would come back to him to answer all the infinite questions he still had. 

 

“Probably an ex-boyfriend I was jealous about,” James said as he shot up from the ground. He removed some flakes of snow from his jeans and cleared his throat. “Should we go to bed? We need to have as much energy as we possibly can tomorrow.”

 

Remus nodded earnestly. “I agree. Let’s sleep and—” he gulped loudly. “Hope for the best, I guess.”

 

“Hey! Stop with the negativity,” Barty bellowed as he stood. He raised an accusing finger and pointed it at everyone. “We’ll make it out of here. Tomorrow. All of us.” He gave them a huge grin, showing his perfectly white teeth. “And then we’ll go to a fancy restaurant to celebrate. Sirius here will pay for everyone.”

 

A roar of laughter echoed through the camp.

 

“Why me?!” cried Sirius as he mockingly stomped on his feet, fists closed to his sides. The scene had now turned utterly comical. 

 

Regulus smiled to himself and shook his head. 

 

He couldn’t remember what home truly was, but if he had to choose one moment to describe it, he’d definitely choose this.

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

It was cold inside the tent. 

 

Regulus didn’t like it. He’d grown to hate it, the cold. 

 

It reminded him of how cold he’d felt on the inside. How lifeless and soulless he used to be. 

 

A soulless body controlled by a gelid mind. 

 

He never wanted to feel like that again. 

 

It also reminded him of the tests. Of the Dementors. Everything he’d created. 

 

He hated it. He wished it would disappear entirely and never come back. 

 

He missed the sun. Why couldn’t the sun come back?

 

“So?” James started as he carefully flopped down over their shared blanket. “How did it go with Sirius?”

 

Regulus bit his lip. Then he raised one shoulder and slowly knelt down next to him. His heart accelerated automatically. It always did when he was in James’ vicinity. 

 

“It went well.” He shrugged. “We’ve come to the conclusion that we probably used to be best friends. Makes sense,” he said nonchalantly.

 

James snorted. “Best friends? You and Sirius?” 

 

“Yes?” Regulus furrowed his brows. “It’s not like there’s any other explanation.”

 

James watched him for a couple of seconds and then began giggling. Loudly. So loudly the others could definitely hear them from their tents. 

 

Regulus felt slightly offended. “Why the fuck are you laughing?”

 

A rush of giggles escaped from James’ mouth. “I—I’m sorry, I just—” another round of giggles, “I just can’t imagine you and Sirius talking about feelings and being—Jesus—best friends.” His eyes shined from how hard he’d been laughing. 

 

Regulus almost pouted. Almost. He willed himself not to. 

 

He huffed and threw himself inside the blanket. He quickly turned his body around, facing the tent instead of James’ face. 

 

“Oh, c’mon,” James nudged him as he poked his waist with his finger. “Don’t get offended.”

 

Regulus flinched and moved away. “I’m not offended,” he said blankly.

 

“Yes, you are.”

 

“No, I’m not.”

 

He felt a warm arm wrapping around his waist, swiftly pulling his back toward James’ chest.

 

A faint sigh pushed past his lips.

 

He was so weak. So weak and malleable against James’ touch. Like a doll being toyed with.

 

He didn’t mind it. Not anymore. 

 

On the contrary, he felt as if—he liked it, in a way. Probably not a healthy one, though.

 

“I know you,” James murmured in his ear. A cold shiver went down Regulus’ spine at once. Or maybe it was warm. He couldn’t tell. Cold or warm, it definitely ignited some sort of heat inside his body. “Better than anyone else. Better than yourself. You need to accept it, love.”

 

Love.

 

He recalled that pet name; he saw it in his memories. It felt odd, hearing it here too. 

 

Familiar. It felt familiar.

 

“You used to call me that,” he whispered, turning his body around to face James. Their blue eyes met. “I remember.” 

 

I remember. He wished he could say that about everything else too. 

 

Every moment they shared. Every first time. Every fight or hushed promise murmured against skin. 

 

He hoped one day he’d be able to look at James in his eyes and tell him. 

 

I remember us. I remember all of us.

 

“I did,” James whispered back, as he began tracing slow circles over the skin of Regulus’ hip bone with his thumb.

 

There was an odd silence. 

 

Not awkward. Not stiff. 

 

Charged. 

 

Regulus could feel James’ icy eyes intent on him. Never moving. Never wavering.

 

“Do you remember what you used to call me?” James asked him, voice hoarse. Their faces were so close. He hadn't even realized it. 

 

Regulus gulped loudly.

 

He did. He did remember. 

 

He wasn’t stupid. He knew that by saying it something would snap. The tension around them. It would rip like a hopeless thread loose being pulled by a forceful hand. 

 

He stared at James’ face in silence for what felt like an eternity.  

 

He was doing it now. He did it this morning. Yesterday. Two days ago. Last week and the week prior. He did it the first day James showed up here, for an entire night. And he’d do it tomorrow and for the rest of his life, until he memorized again every single pore on the skin of his face.

 

“We could die tomorrow,” Regulus said, drawing one hand over James’ curls. He remembered how eagerly he always wanted to touch them. “Or we could survive. Who knows. Maybe our lives start tomorrow.”

 

James gave a faint chuckle. “You didn’t answer my question.” He grabbed Regulus’ waist tighter. “Do you remember what you used to call me, Reg?”

 

Regulus drew a deep breath in. Then out, right over James’ face.

 

Their eyes met again. 

 

Blue against blue.

 

Ice against ice.

 

But there was no ice between them in that moment. Only an unrelenting and deadly fire.

 

“Baby,” Regulus breathed out after a pause. 

 

There were no more words after that. 

 

Regulus had no idea who moved in first. Maybe him. Maybe James. Maybe both. 

 

He didn’t care one bit. 

 

Their lips crushed violently, almost painfully. It burned. 

 

Regulus burned as James opened his mouth to let him inside. He felt as though someone had poured gasoline inside his veins from how much he burned. His body trembled, but not for the cold. 

 

He couldn’t even perceive an ounce of cold anymore. Not inside the tent. Not inside his body.

 

His hands gripped harshly at James’ curls, pulling at them. A familiar whimper escaped from James’ mouth. 

 

It felt as though he was living inside a dream. Like he was experiencing something that used to be so far away from him, but so close at the same time.

 

James’ hand slipped beneath the fabric of his shirt as they kissed. He began tracing the dips of his muscles hungrily, going from Regulus’ abs to his navel.

 

It was Regulus’ turn to moan now. 

 

James grinned. “Fuck, I missed them,” he breathed out against his lips. “I missed you. All of you. I felt like I was going fucking crazy.” He traced Regulus’ bottom lip with his tongue. “Do you have any idea how difficult it’s been to control myself? To stay near you without doing this every single day?”

 

Regulus was a whimpering and moaning mess.

 

No thoughts were reaching his mind anymore. His body had taken complete control. As though it knew exactly what to do. Where to touch James. How to touch him. How to please him.

 

The sound of their tongues dancing with one another was so obscene and loud he was afraid the others could hear it. 

 

He hoped they couldn’t. He wanted this moment to be his only. Theirs. 

 

He didn’t want to share it with anyone else. 

 

They drew apart after what he thought were hours. He fluttered his eyes open and took in the scene before him; a completely messed up James, with glittering eyes and messy hair, lips swollen and pink. 

 

Regulus almost fucking cursed. 

 

He wanted to ruin him. He wanted to be ruined by him, even more than he already was.

 

He wanted to burn so much it hurt.

 

“You know when you joked about being addictive?” he whispered over James’ wet lips. He slipped his hand from James’ hair to his jaw, cupping it hard. “I think I know what you meant now.”

 

That night, they didn’t sleep. Not even for a couple of minutes.

Notes:

Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex.

Chapter 17: The Line

Notes:

TW; Vivid depictions of panic attacks.

“Can you—fucking—move?”

 

Marlene let out a frustrated shriek, the strident sound nearly bursting everyone’s eardrums. “Where?!” She sat up on her elbows, staring down at Dorcas with a glare. “Where the fuck am I supposed to move? There’s no fucking space, as you can fucking see.”

 

Dorcas pushed herself up, her mouth twisting in a deep grimace. “I literally cannot breathe, Marlene,” she gritted through her teeth. “Move. The fuck. Away.”

 

Pandora exhaled sharply and closed her eyes. 

 

So—perhaps sharing the tents in pairs hadn’t really been a brilliant idea. 

 

It had been a terrible idea, actually. 

 

As soon as they’d stepped inside the tent, Dorcas and Marlene had begun blabbering and bickering with one another like kindergarten kids; about shared blankets, sleeping positions, the temperature. 

 

The silliest of things. 

 

It truly seemed as if they were seeking every single opportunity to argue. As though they were teasing and irking each other until one of them snapped like a rope.

 

She couldn’t understand why. 

 

Everyone had solved their problems. Everyone had apologized for their wrong-doings. 

 

Sure, it was going to take time to fully restore the bond and trust that they had carefully built over the past few weeks. Especially with Regulus and James. 

 

She was aware of that, and understood it completely.

 

But Dorcas and Marlene? There was no rational reason for them to act this way. 

 

Absolutely no reason at all.

 

Marlene gave a hysterical laugh, appearing truly delirious. “I just told you that there’s no fucking space for me to move!”

 

Pandora sighed and closed her eyes. She wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight, was she? 

 

“Please, stop cursing,” she pleaded, voice nearly desperate. She felt as though she were going to burst in tears at any moment from how exhausted she felt.

 

“Maybe if she stopped writhing around like a snake,” argued Dorcas.

 

“Maybe if she stopped hitting my leg with her cold feet,” countered Marlene.

 

Pandora pressed the heels of her hands on her eyes and willed herself to stay calm. 

 

She definitely wasn’t going to sleep tonight. 

 

“Fucking kids.” Lily shot up from the ground, escaping from the warm nestle of blankets they’d built, and placed her hands on her waist angrily. Her eyes flashed with irritation as she stared down at Dorcas and Marlene. “If you two don’t shut your big mouths right at this moment, I’m going to throw both of you out in the freezing cold and sleep with my fucking girlfriend. Understood?”

 

Silence.

 

Lily’s words seemed to do the trick, as both Dorcas and Marlene closed their mouths with a loud snap, shutting up. 

 

Though they weren’t the only ones who had completely lost the capacity of speaking. 

 

Pandora blinked as warmth washed over her explosively—both on the inside and the outside. She felt as though every ounce of blood in her body had rushed to her cheeks in seconds. 

 

Girlfriend?

 

They hadn’t—

 

Girlfriend?

 

They hadn’t—spoken about it. They hadn’t put a title on their relationship. It had been a mutual agreement. And Pandora had been fine with that—one hundred percent.

 

Who had the time for romantic relationships inside a murderous maze? Well—

 

All of them, apparently.

 

But there hadn’t been any established commitment or…official couples, for that matter. And it had been better that way. 

 

Totally.

 

Still, Pandora couldn’t hide a small, ecstatic voice in the back of her mind that was yelling and cheering as she repeated the word inside her head over and over. 

 

Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. 

 

Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend.

 

She felt as if she might simply die from euphoria, her heart nearly failing from how fast it was pounding.

 

Dorcas arched one brow gleefully.

 

“Since when are you two girlfriends?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Pandora whispered, her dazed eyes unwavering from Lily. 

 

Lily opened her mouth and then closed it promptly, probably realizing just now what she’d just said. Her cheeks blushed, turning into a vivid crimson shade, visible despite the darkness inside the tent. 

 

Pandora immediately melted at the scene. 

 

She was so beautiful. How was she so beautiful?

 

But most of all—how was she so lucky to have her?

 

“Well—I—” Lily cleared her throat, rubbing the back of her neck as she purposefully missed Pandora’s gaze. “I—it’s not like that—I—I’m not talking about this in front of you two!”

 

Marlene smirked, clearly enjoying seeing her friend look so flustered. “You’re the one who started it.”

 

“No. You’re the one who started it!” Lily’s voice rose abruptly. “Ever since we entered this fucking tent! We’re all good. We’re all fine. With James, with Regulus. Why on earth are you two still fighting?” 

 

Pandora wholly understood her irritation. 

 

She did, truly. 

 

But she wasn’t used to seeing Lily in this state; visibly angry. It had occurred perhaps once or twice in their entire time spent inside the maze.

 

Not that she didn’t love this side of her too; she loved every flaw she possessed. Every strength. Every quirk or perk.

 

All of her. 

 

But the final test was approaching, and she truly didn’t want Lily to spend her last night furiously irritated because of these two idiots. She cared about her well being the most. And honestly, she simply much preferred seeing her smile. 

 

She loved seeing her smile.

 

Pandora hummed in thought, searching carefully in her mind a way to quickly humble them both. 

 

Then something clicked.

 

“I think it’s some sort of unresolved tension.” She glanced at Dorcas and Marlene with a wicked smile, knowing exactly what to say. “Sexual tension, maybe.”

 

As soon as the words left her mouth, chaos completely erupted. 

 

Bingo.

 

“WHAT?”

 

“PANDORA!”

 

“THAT’S NOT WHAT’S HAPPENING AT ALL.”

 

“HAVE YOU GONE MAD?”

 

Lily grinned mischievously, quickly understanding what Pandora’s intentions were. “You know what? I think you’re right.” 

 

Dorcas shot up from the ground, utterly furious. “There’s no sexual tension!” she lashed out angrily. “She literally said she wanted to murder Regulus—my best friend, if you haven’t noticed. That’s why I’m angry.”

 

“Oh, piss off, Dorcas,” shot back Marlene. “I was just—upset. I would have never done that.”

 

Dorcas gave a sour laugh. “Oh, and I’m supposed to just—trust you?”

 

“Yes!” screamed Marlene, frustration pouring from every pore. “I apologized. To Regulus. And forgave him. What else am I supposed to do?!”

 

Dorcas’ mouth twisted into a sneer. “As you can see—I’m not Regulus.”

 

Their faces were mere inches apart, their breaths nearly mingling. 

 

Pandora held hers for a moment as she studied them. 

 

They looked so different from one another.

 

The complete opposites. Both in physicality and personality. Dorcas’ carbon-black hair against Marlene’s ivory was only a tiny glimpse of that very vast difference between them.

 

Pandora felt as though she were witnessing day and night colliding together. Like two foreign entities that were never meant to meet; two parallel train tracks. 

 

But, as she knew, sunrises and sunsets did exist, after all.

 

“I’m tired of this shit.” Marlene scoffed and flopped back down over their blanket, throwing her entire body inside it. “There’s no fucking point talking to you anyway.” 

 

Dorcas laughed soundly and crossed her arms against her chest. “As if you know me.”

 

“I don’t. That’s the fucking problem, Dorcas.” Marlene’s lips curled downward. “I’m sorry if you can’t see it.”

 

Dorcas’ expression fell at once. She appeared genuinely hurt by her words. 

 

Pandora wondered if her behavior toward Marlene had anything to do with her feelings; a deep-rooted resentment born from trying to shield herself from disappointment. 

 

It made sense, knowing Dorcas’ personality. 

 

An obstinate idiot, she was.

 

Pandora heaved a sigh and narrowed her eyes. “Apologize,” she mouthed silently to Dorcas with a glare. 

 

Dorcas shook her head firmly. “No.”

 

“Apologize!” Pandora mouthed again, growing slightly angry. 

 

She wasn’t going to let her stubbornness ruin something that she very obviously cared about. 

 

Dorcas rolled her eyes and sighed, appearing defeated. Hesitantly, knelt down and poked Marlene’s arm with a finger. “Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I’m just—” She took a deep breath and bit her lower lip. “Regulus is my best friend and I—I’m just—very protective. I think you would’ve reacted the same way if it had happened to one of your group.”

 

Lily snorted faintly. “She would have.”

 

“Lily,” Marlene gritted through her teeth.

 

“What? You absolutely would’ve.” 

 

Marlene dragged a hand over her face tiredly and exhaled. She wavered for a moment before whispering, “Apology accepted.” She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry too. For what I’ve said to Regulus. I’m very—impulsive. I know he had no ill intentions toward us.” 

 

Dorcas gave her a nod, lips curling up slightly at one corner. “It’s just—I’m just—” she paused abruptly, her eyes growing wide as she raised her hands in the air. “Did you guys hear that?” 

 

An eerie silence fell inside the tent at once. 

 

Pandora tilted her head and focused herself on listening, searching attentively for any sound beside the violent rush of the night’s wind.

 

Then she heard it. 

 

A whining sound, similar to a cat’s meowing. It seemed as if someone was in pain. 

 

She furrowed her brow. “Is someone hurt?”

 

Another whine—louder. This time, it didn’t sound painful. It sounded more…

 

Marlene promptly widened her eyes. “Wait—I don’t think it’s—

 

Another one. And this one—this one definitely wasn’t a whine.

 

It was a proper moan.

 

Pandora’s mouth fell to the fucking ground.

 

Oh. My. God. 

 

Dorcas gasped in pure horror, covering her mouth with a hand. “Is that James and Regulus?!”

 

The tent exploded in laughter.

 

“Oh my God! Oh Jesus!” Pandora exclaimed, hiding her face behind her hands. The simple image of her friend doing things a few feet from their tent made her cheeks burn. “I’m never going to be able to look them in the eyes!”

 

Lily giggled loudly, her eyes shining from how much she was laughing. The sight did something to Pandora’s stomach, butterflies flying frantically inside it. 

 

“Are they—?”

 

Dorcas snorted. “With this fucking cold? No way.”

 

Pandora gave a loud faux cry. “Oh, God. I hope Barty can’t hear them.” 

 

As much as that statement was meant to sound comic, she truly did hope that. She had no idea how Barty would react if he knew that Regulus was—doing God knows what—near him and not with him. 

 

It would break his heart though; and of that, she was certain. 

 

“He’s still down bad?” asked Marlene.

 

Dorcas snorted. “Down bad is a compliment, honestly,” she said sarcastically. 

 

“Poor guy.” Lily pouted. “Hope he’ll snap out of it.”

 

“Well, it’s not always easy,” Dorcas countered quietly, voice suddenly serious. “Controlling your emotions.” She looked down toward her blanket and started playing with her fingers. Pandora felt the sudden urge to hug her and pepper her with kisses. “Anyways. I think it’s better if we sleep. You know—the deadly test and everything.”

 

Lily groaned. “Uhg—thank you for reminding us, Dorcas.”

 

Slowly, one by one, they all hid themselves inside their warm blanket, chuckling softly as they gave deep and loud yawns. 

 

Pandora noticed that it was getting progressively colder inside the tent. She hoped it would eventually stop, or else the night would become unbearable. 

 

Marlene fell asleep first; her snores louder than the relentless wind that cut through the fabric of the tent.

 

Dorcas fell asleep next; her body suddenly feeling limp next to Pandora’s. 

 

Pandora expected to be the third one to fall asleep. After all, the entire conversation occurred because she felt exhausted and in desperate need to rest. 

 

But she didn’t. She couldn’t. Her mind wouldn’t give her peace, not even for a couple of seconds. She kept thinking and rummaging, replaying that cursed word over and over like a mantra. 

 

Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. 

 

She wasn’t going to be able to sleep. 

 

Not until she had an answer and stopped wondering. 

 

“Lily?” she whispered after several minutes, her heart nearly bursting out of her chest.

 

Lily gave her a weary smile without opening her eyes. “Yes?”

 

Pandora drew a deep breath in, finding the courage within herself to ask the question. 

 

Now or never, she thought.

 

“Am I your girlfriend?” she asked finally, her voice shaky. 

 

Lily’s eyes snapped open, her brows shooting up to her hairline. She genuinely looked taken aback by the question. She had probably assumed that Pandora had forgotten about it. 

 

Lily hesitated. 

 

“If you want to,” she whispered eventually.

 

Pandora nearly screamed. She nodded eagerly, not even a second passing by. “I want to.”

 

She did. She had never wanted something more in her life. Which she found ironic, considering she didn’t recall a thing about her life. 

 

But this—this she knew and felt wholeheartedly.

 

Lily’s lips curved into a wide smile, her straight, white teeth showing. She inched closer and pressed a soft kiss on Pandora’s lips, leaving a sweet aftertaste. “Then yes, my love,” Lily whispered over her mouth. “You’re my girlfriend.”

 

Pandora could swear that this was the happiest she’d ever been. 

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The frigid wind howled violently against the thin fabric of the tent, hitting it repeatedly with a force that seemed nothing but otherworldly. 

 

Mary curled herself tighter into a ball, hiding beneath the only blanket available as she shivered uncontrollably. She felt like a hopeless branch of a tree fighting to survive in the midst of a storm. 

 

The cold was unrelenting.

 

It was the worst it had ever been inside the maze—she was certain of that. It was so harsh she felt as if it were ripping the skin from her bones, leaving her fleshless.

 

She wondered if the last test had already begun.

 

If this was the last mission they had to accomplish in order to escape from the maze.

 

Survive the night. 

 

She couldn’t think about anything more cruel and harrowing than freezing to death. With no possibility of a proper combat or duel to survive. 

 

A dull death. That’s what it was. 

 

Disgustingly unfair.

 

Perhaps she’d been too quick to forgive Regulus. 

 

The clear sound of teeth chattering echoed inside the tent, cutting through her thoughts—so loud it nearly overcame the incessant roar of the wind. 

 

She turned around heavily and found Peter completely swallowed by the flimsy blanket, his eyes barely peeking out. He was quivering even more violently than her; his body jerked and writhed on the ground as if out of control. 

 

“Pete,” she rasped, drawing slightly closer as she rubbed her drowsy eyes. “Are you okay?”

 

Peter quickly hummed, though his teeth clattered again. “Fine. Go back to sleep.”

 

Mary sighed and studied him in silence. He was clearly forcing himself to keep his body still, perhaps not to worry her.

 

“Come here,” she said after a minute, closing the faint distance between them. 

 

He furrowed his brow in confusion. “What?”

 

Instead of replying, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him from behind, pressing their bodies against one another.  

 

She felt his body freeze against hers for a moment, before it finally relaxed.

 

She gave a faint sigh as warmth spread through her bones and organs, easing the ache from the cold ever so slightly. 

 

Better. It definitely felt better. 

 

A silence followed. 

 

Mary assumed that Peter had fallen asleep—the sudden, comforting heat enough to soothe both his mind and body. 

 

She closed her eyes, ready to let tiredness get the best of her—

 

“Mary?”

 

She fluttered her eyes open. “Mh?” she mumbled. 

 

Peter was silent for a moment. “Can I ask you a question?”

 

Her eyes grew slightly wide in surprise. 

 

Peter had always been an extremely shy and introverted kid. He didn’t ask questions. Even less answered them. 

 

He wasn’t loud like Sirius, or clever like Remus. Most of the time, Mary wondered if he truly enjoyed the company of their group, or if he simply chose them for convenience. She didn’t have an answer. 

 

Despite it all, she'd come to understand him. To care for him, even. Perhaps more than anyone at camp. 

 

It was something inexplicable—something you simply felt buried deep inside you and couldn’t narrate with words. 

 

Similar to what Sirius felt toward Regulus. 

 

A care and a sense of protection that made no sense at all, but at the same time, it did so deeply. 

 

A mother’s instinct.

 

“Sure,” she replied eventually. 

 

Peter’s body tensed against hers, feeling like stone all of a sudden. She couldn’t fully decipher his expression; it was unreadable like a mask. 

 

He began fidgeting mindlessly with his fingers, pulling a small thread loose from the fine blanket. 

 

Was he nervous?

 

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” he asked after several seconds, voice barely above a breath.

 

She snapped her arms away from him as if burnt by fire and sat up straight. 

 

That was the last question she expected from him. 

 

“What? Why would I think that?”

 

His face twisted into something distraught as he slowly sat up too.“Because I’ve treated Regulus and James horribly over the past few days. Like—parasites. I’ve told you guys we needed to get rid of them twice. Twice! And I actually meant it, not like Marlene.” His voice cracked. “I’m a horrible person.”

 

Her heart ached inside her chest as she stared at him. “Pete, you apologized already.”

 

“Doesn’t erase what I’ve said or thought,” he replied soundly. 

 

She clenched her jaw. “It also doesn’t erase what Regulus and James did, but we’ve accepted their apologies nonetheless.”

 

Why was he beating himself so much? He’d been right about being weary of them, after all. 

 

The threats hadn’t been—ideal, sure. But he hadn’t been totally in the wrong. 

 

Right?

 

There was a pause. 

 

Mary couldn’t stop looking at him; at his sad eyes, his mouth curled downward, his trembling body. He seemed so…vulnerable. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and protect him from the world. 

 

“Pete, we—we don’t know who we were. Maybe we’ve all done and thought terrible things in our lives. There’s no way for us to know. We don’t remember,” she said quietly. 

 

He was on the verge of tears. “But I did it here, Mary.”

 

“And you apologized. And both Regulus and James gladly accepted it,” she pointed out hardly, growing slightly angry.

 

She couldn’t help that side of her personality.

 

Peter shook his head before hiding it on his knees. His shoulders trembled as he started hiccuping quietly. 

 

Mary bit the inside of her cheek painfully, nearly cutting herself with her teeth. She forced herself to not weep in front of him. It was the last thing he needed at the moment. 

 

She thought carefully about the right thing to say. The proper words he needed to hear. 

 

She wasn’t good at consoling people, but she was good at loving them fiercely. 

 

She closed her eyes and let her heart speak for her. 

 

“Fear…makes you do and say stupid things sometimes.” He raised his head from his knees, meeting her eyes. “It’s—survival instinct. It’s human. You’re human, Pete. I think you were scared, and your instinct was simply trying to protect you. Don’t—don’t beat yourself up for that, yeah? Don’t beat yourself up for being human.”

 

Peter sniffled. He looked like a small kid in search of comfort, the tip of his nose red from his crying.

 

She caught his arm and looked at him seriously. “You’re a good person, Peter,” she said earnestly. “I’ve seen it. I know it. Please, please believe me.” Her voice was pleading. 

 

Peter’s eyes glistened as he watched her. His lips twitched and then faintly quirked at one corner, easing the knot that had formed inside her stomach. “Thank you, Mary,” he said finally.

 

This is it, she thought. 

 

This is what he needed. 

 

She gazed at him with a fond smile for several moments and then flopped down over their blanket. He followed her. She gently ruffled his blonde hair, making him chuckle lightly as he covered the both of them with the blanket. 

 

“Let’s try to sleep now, okay? We need to be strong and prepared for tomorrow,” she said grimly. 

 

Peter nodded. “Okay.”

 

She curled her arms around his waist and cuddled him, wishing to give him as much comfort as she could—both physically and emotionally. “Tomorrow everything will be over, I promise,” she murmured against the nape of his neck, tightening the grip around his waist. “We’ll make it out.”

 

He laid his hands across hers and squeezed them tight. “Together?”

 

She kissed the back of his head and whispered, “Together.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The voice came abruptly in his sleep.

 

Regulus felt slightly disappointed; he was truly convinced that the nightmares had stopped tormenting him and had disappeared entirely. 

 

He had been wrong, clearly. He should’ve expected it. 

 

It had become furiously usual—him being wrong. 

 

He wondered if he had ever been right about something in the chaos that his life used to be. 

 

Choices, decisions, assumptions. Every single thing he’d done in the past seemed like a massive mistake in his eyes now. 

 

“Reg,” the voice whispered, feeling both close and far at the same time. Like attempting to grasp the air with bare hands. 

 

“Regulus.”

 

It sounded sweet. Almost like chocolate. 

 

He really missed the taste of it, now that he thought about it. He wondered if he’d ever get the chance to eat it again. 

 

Perhaps when he’d be out of here. Perhaps James would find some for him; sneak it inside his pockets like he’d done already. 

 

He would, right? He’d do anything for him.

 

Regulus recalled those words vividly in the memories he’d seen. As though someone had deeply engraved them in his mind. 

 

Which seemed ironic now, considering he had completely forgotten about them. 

 

“Regulus. You need to wake up.”

 

The voice suddenly shifted. The sweetness vanished, quickly replaced by a sense of urgency and desperation—an almost too familiar tone.

 

Regulus immediately panicked. 

 

Not again, he begged inside his head.

 

Not again. 

 

He hoped he’d never have to hear James’ voice sound so distraught. So helpless. 

 

It reminded him of his last memory with him. Of their last moments together, as James’ agonising screams echoed through the white walls of the laboratory. 

 

But he was. He was hearing it again. 

 

Again. 

 

Fucking again.

 

Was it a curse? A punishment?

 

Was he destined to hear it for the rest of his life? 

 

“Reg!” screamed the voice, following him like a relentless shadow he couldn’t get rid of. 

 

“Wake up!”

 

“Reg! Wake up! Wak—

 

 

His eyes flew open. 

 

He felt disoriented for a moment as he slowly regained consciousness, trying to discern what was going on around him. 

 

The first thing he registered was James, hovering above him with a noticeable troubled expression. James’ hands were firm on his shoulders, as though he had just stopped shaking his body to wake him. 

 

The next thing Regulus registered was the cold, biting harshly against his skin, goosebumps spreading all over his body. 

 

It felt so much worse than the night prior—nearly agonising. He wondered how on earth they had not died from hypothermia in their sleep.

 

It took him several seconds to register the last thing; the worst one, despite certainly being the most striking. 

 

An alarm. 

 

Ringing and pounding ruthlessly, making his ears pulse and his body vibrate. Its sound felt so intense he wondered how he had not woken up from it. 

 

“Reg—Reg, we need to go,” James exclaimed urgently, withdrawing his hands from his shoulders and quickly standing up, his head nearly hitting the ceiling of the tent in the sudden movement. “Now, Reg.” His voice was hurried; his blue eyes glinted with worry. 

 

The alarm didn’t pause. It kept ringing repeatedly, hammering in his head as a faint trace of headache grew inside his skull. He probably should’ve slept more instead of—occupying himself with other businesses. 

 

Regulus slowly stood, body wobbling as he pressed the heels of his hands on his eyes, attempting to ease the pain. 

 

“What—what’s going on?” he rasped, dazed. He hugged himself, jaw starting to tremble as soon as the comfort of their shared blanket disappeared. 

 

It was too fucking cold. 

 

“The final test,” James replied blankly as he opened the tent without wasting any time. “It’s starting.”

 

Regulus nearly gasped.

 

Already? 

 

He assumed they’d have more time. A couple of hours more, at least. To plan. To prepare.

 

To wait and see if the cage that his mind had become cracked minimally and allowed him to remember what the last test consisted of.

 

He’d been wrong. 

 

He was always fucking wrong.

 

He swallowed and stepped out of the tent. 

 

He halted on his heels as soon as he did, suddenly feeling paralyzed.

 

“Oh my god,” someone breathed out, tone terrified. He couldn’t make out who that was.

 

“That’s—not good,” muttered Barty. That, he recognized.

 

Regulus felt as though his mind had frozen with his body, his eyes snapped open, staring in horror at the scene before him. 

 

It—couldn’t be. 

 

It couldn’t. 

 

“I must admit, Reg,” Sirius huffed from the nearest tent, a sound between bewilderment and fright, “you really do have a great fucking imagination.”

 

No one laughed, despite his attempt at easing the tension. 

 

Most certainly not Regulus.

 

Not when a visual proof of his insane and twisted mind was present right in front of their eyes. 

 

The first corridor of the maze wasn’t visible anymore. Or well, it was. Barely. About sixty inches of snow had completely swallowed it up, rising higher than their chests and creating a dense, white ridge that blocked their only way out of camp. 

 

A proper snowdrift. 

 

Regulus’ entire body shivered in panic as he stared. 

 

Their only way out. Their only way to the door.

 

Their only way home. Completely impassable. 

 

Had this been his idea? Or one of The Order’s?

 

He truly hoped it hadn’t been his.

 

He felt he might vomit at the thought. 

 

“We don’t know if it was him, Sirius,” Barty snapped protectively. 

 

“It was,” Marlene countered coldly. She tilted her trembling chin toward the nearest stone wall. 

 

Regulus whirled his head to where she pointed. He felt a proper punch in the gut as he looked. 

 

There, shining as brightly as ever, was the line symbol—the last one remained. 

 

The sign.

 

The hint. 

 

The one that had started it all; the tests, the door, the Dementors. 

 

James. 

 

It had all begun that sunny morning a few weeks ago. 

 

Regulus couldn’t fully comprehend everything that had occurred to him from that day forward; the amount of things he had discovered about himself and his past life. 

 

He felt as though he had lived a hundred different lives in the span of mere weeks. As though he were a hundred different people caged inside one, single body. 

 

He wondered if he’d ever fully grasp his identity again. If after everything was over and forgotten and they were finally free, he’d be able to finally figure out who he truly was. 

 

He wasn’t sure he’d manage to do it on his own. He’d need help, and he’d need to ask for it—much to his own dismay. 

 

James would gladly be willing to help him, he supposed. He was the only one who could help him in that regard, after all.

 

And what a bitter, bitter thing that was. 

 

Mary let out a frustrated grunt and threw her arms in the air. “So this is part of the last test? What the fuck are we supposed to do? Melt the fucking mound of snow?” she asked with a hard tone, looking directly at him. As though she were expecting him to give her an answer. 

 

He didn’t.

 

He lingered in front of his tent, throat too dry and muscles too numb to even speak, much less move. He wished he could help them with all of his being, but he couldn’t remember a single thing about snowdrifts or tests. 

 

His memories were completely useless on that part. 

 

Suddenly, the alarm stopped ringing, and the familiar, terrifying voice came right after.

 

TEST THREE.

                             

It announced for the last time, reverberating along the stone ground, making it vibrate beneath their feet.

 

TEST THREE INITIATED.

                    

“Shit,” Evan cursed under his breath before rushing earnestly toward the firepit, his hands closed into fists at his sides. He began grabbing as many lit branches as he could, holding them firmly in his arms.

 

Regulus watched him with furrowed brows, confused.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” Marlene asked, voice shaking slightly from the cold as she stared at Evan. 

 

Evan kept grabbing the burning branches without looking back, moving frantically. “What do you think I’m doing?” he mocked hoarsely. “I’m getting ready for the fucking test.”

 

“We don’t even know if there will be any Dementors, Evan,” Dorcas pointed out as she approached him, rubbing her arms for warmth.

 

Evan laughed soundly and looked up from the fire. “Why wouldn’t there be? We need to get rid of the snow if we want to reach the door. And how do you think that will happen?” He paused and clicked his tongue. “Dementors. We’ll probably have to fight one like in the first test. After that, the snow will vanish and—boom!” He made an explosion sound with his mouth and winked. “We escape. Happily ever after.”

 

Regulus folded his arms against his chest and frowned. He wasn’t convinced. And judging by everyone’s expression—no one else was either. 

 

Barty raised one brow and grinned. “You completely made that up.”

 

“I didn’t make it up,” disagreed Evan with a scowl. “It’s a theory.”

 

Barty’s grin widened. “So you did make it up.”

 

“It’s a theory, Jesus! Can you come here and help me instead of being fucking annoy—

 

HEAD TO THE DOOR

TO COMPLETE THE TEST.

               

The voice suddenly said.

 

HEAD TO THE DOOR

TO COMPLETE THE TEST.

                  

Something inside Regulus tore at the words, realization hitting him as though he’d been struck. His eyes grew wide as he watched the reactions of his friends in front of him, realization clicking in their expressions too.

 

The test wasn’t about getting rid of the snow. 

 

The snow was the test itself.

 

“Please, don’t tell me we have to walk through that to complete the test. Please,” lamented Lily as she pointed her chin toward the snowdrift. 

 

Remus pursed his lips in thought. Regulus could see his brain fuming as it worked, considering all the possibilities very attentively. “I don’t know. Isn’t it too easy?”

 

“Easy?!” yelled Sirius with wide eyes, his expression utterly panicked. “That doesn’t seem fucking easy to me!”

 

“It’s probably a fucking trap anyway,” growled Barty as he snatched one of the branches from Evan’s arms, gripping it tightly. “I don’t believe this shit.”

 

“But that’s what the voice said,” Pandora countered with a small voice. 

 

Mary gave an emotionless laugh. “And since when do we trust the voice?”

 

“It’s not about trusting. It’s about doing what we’re supposed to.” James’ hard and cool tone silenced them all. 

 

Regulus glanced at him from the corner of his eye; his jaw was clenched and his lips were pressed into a thin line. His blue eyes glinted with pure determination, as though he were ready to fight a  storm of Dementors with his bare hands. 

 

He appeared so strong and fierce in Regulus’ eyes; both physically and mentally. James always knew exactly what to do, or what to say, even in the most challenging occasions. Like a perfect hero in a child’s tale. 

 

Perhaps that was what had attracted Regulus most; how passionate James seemed about everything. He wondered if that had been one of the reasons he fell in love with him in his past life. 

 

He suspected it had.

 

There was a long pause. 

 

“Alright—we need a plan,” announced Remus after several minutes, raking a hand through his brown hair. 

 

Marlene rolled her jaw. “A good one, possibly. I don’t want to die from suffocation,” she said tightly. 

 

“Scientists' brains are working.” Barty smirked, swinging the branch in his hands as if he were playing with a toy. “I like that.” He walked toward the edge of camp, right where the mound of snow started. He eased himself down to sit. “I’ll just wait here for you to come up with one of your brilliant ideas—Ouch!”

 

He shot up from the ground and pressed a hand to one of his buttcheek, wincing in pain. “That hurt!” He pouted like a proper child.

 

Sirius roared in laughter. “Did you sit on a rock?"

 

“Fuck you.” Barty slowly knelt down, picking something out of the snow with his head tilted as if he were examining it intently. After a moment, he gasped, “It's a…lighter?!”

 

Regulus’ eyes grew impossibly wide, utterly puzzled. 

 

Why on earth was there a lighter at camp?

 

“A WHAT?” bellowed Sirius, his laughter vanishing in the frozen wind.

 

“It’s a fucking lighter!” Barty repeated in pure astonishment, as though he couldn’t believe what he was saying himself.

 

Everyone immediately drew closer, eager to confirm with their own eyes something that seemed so utterly impossible. 

 

“Holy shit,” exclaimed Evan as he stared at the lighter agape. “Please, tell me I didn’t learn to start a fire with branches and shit for absolutely nothing.”

 

Mary rolled her eyes. “I think we would have noticed a fucking lighter in almost fifty days, don’t you think?”

 

Regulus bit the inside of his cheek and forced himself to think carefully. 

 

Why would they give them a lighter? And most of all—why now? Now that it wasn’t needed anymore? That they were so close to getting out? 

 

It made no sense at all. 

 

Think, Regulus, he ordered himself.

 

Think as if you’re one of them.

 

Think as if you’re them. 

 

He squeezed his eyes shut, a flood of thoughts drowning his brain at once. 

 

Everything had been placed perfectly inside the maze. 

 

Everything had a reason to exist. 

 

Nothing was random. 

 

If there was one thing Regulus knew about himself, it was that he was a perfectionist. He wouldn’t have made any errors in the making of something that was apparently so essential. 

 

Think, Regulus.

 

Think think think—

 

He snapped his eyes open as a sudden epiphany broke through his mind. 

 

Of course.

 

Of fucking course.

 

“They put it here on purpose.” 

 

Remus’ voice was quicker than his. Regulus whipped his head around, curious to see if they’d had the same idea. 

 

“What?” asked Dorcas with a frown.

 

“They put it here on purpose. It’s a warning,” Remus repeated more firmly. “We all know why we need the fire, don’t we?”

 

They did.

 

“Dementors,” whispered Peter with a shaky voice, a cold gust of wind following his words. 

 

A silence. 

 

“See?!” exclaimed Evan after several seconds, rolling his shoulders. “I’m always fucking right.”

 

Mary frowned in confusion. “But the voice just said to head to the door. It doesn’t make sense.”

 

Sirius hummed in thought, brows knitted in concentration. Then he turned his gaze directly at Regulus. “Reg, do you remember if it’s possible that there will be two parts in one test? Like—first the snow, then—you know. Them.”

 

Regulus was honestly tempted to tell him to fuck off. 

 

He was growing extremely frustrated; he had no idea how many times he had to repeat that he remembered nothing about the tests. 

 

He inhaled sharply and willed himself to simply shake his head. He knew he wasn’t in the right position to act like a dick. 

 

“Alright, well. We can’t know until it happens,” said Lily after several moments of silence. “Let’s think about the snow first.”

 

Remus gave a determined nod and licked his lips.  “We’ll need to walk in a file, just like the second test. It’s more efficient and secure that way.” He swirled to face Barty and lifted his chin. “Barty, you’re the only one that remembers the way to the door. You’ll guide us at the front.” 

 

Barty recoiled, pointing a finger toward himself. “Me?”

 

“No one can do it but you,” Remus pointed out, and it was indeed true. 

 

There was no one else that could lead them but him. 

 

He had his outstanding brain to blame for that.

 

Barty didn’t seem truly convinced. He began gnawing harshly at his lower lip, turning it reddish—his sign of nervousness. Regulus knew that. He knew him better than anyone.

 

Always had, always would, despite their current awfully awkward situation.

 

“We’ll hold each other's hands so that everyone will have two supports, beside the opener and the closer,” continued Remus, his voice ever so sure. 

 

He was so clever Regulus sometimes envied him. He wondered why on earth had the Order chosen him instead of Remus for a mission that was so crucial. He seemed much more prepared and intelligent than him.

 

Brilliant, even. As though he were incapable of making false steps, like a proper machine. 

 

He would have definitely taken better and wiser decisions than he had. Regulus was sure of that. 

 

“Who’s closing the file then?” asked Peter eventually. 

 

No one replied.

 

Regulus assumed that no one wanted to, understandably so. 

 

It was a huge risk. 

 

If a Dementor suddenly attacked them from behind, they wouldn’t have been able to see it—much less fight it. It was certainly the worst position out of the entire file. 

 

It was…scary, Regulus could admit that. And foolish. Putting yourself in danger willingly. Only an insane person would do that. 

 

But, as was clear, Regulus wasn’t quite a sane person.

 

His plan was clear in his head. 

 

He wanted to get out.

 

He wanted to get them all out. From first to last. Not one missing. No matter the risks. 

 

He wished he could turn back time just to bring Frank with them too. 

 

“I’ll do it,” he announced grimly, stepping forward. 

 

Sirius whirled his head to face him, so fast he nearly broke a bone. “What?!”

 

“I’ll do it,” he repeated unwaveringly, determination flowing inside his veins. 

 

He’d do it. He’d get them out.

 

All of them.

 

James promptly caught his arm, pulling him back. “Reg.” His eyes were wide in terror. 

 

Regulus twisted his arm free and glared at him. “I said I’ll do it, James.”

 

No one was going to stop him. Not even James. He’d make sure of it. 

 

He turned on his heels and stalked toward Barty with clear purpose before snatching the silver lighter from his fingers. Then he turned and glanced at the worried faces before him, inhaling deeply. “If something—appears—I—I’ll deal with it. Alright? I’ll deal with it. It was my idea so—I’ll deal with it.” He forced himself to sound unwavering. 

 

James’ nostrils flared as he looked at him. He seemed ready to explode. He shook his head sharply. “I can’t let you do that,” he said firmly. 

 

“You can’t tell me what to do, James,” he replied with a cold voice. “I created this. Me. And whether or not you all forgive me for it, it doesn’t erase it.” His voice shook as he caught sight of Sirius, whose expression seemed utterly tense. 

 

“I’m getting you out. All of you. Today. That’s a promise I made to myself.”

 

There was a long silence. No one uttered a word or fought back, much to Regulus’ delight. They were probably aware of the fact that no words or complaints were going to be able to change his mind. 

 

After a long pause, James gave a deep, resigned sigh and closed his eyes. “Alright,” he declared as he approached him. “But I’m staying in front of you.”

 

Regulus pinched the bridge of his nose. 

 

Jesus.

 

“James—

 

“I helped you build it, if you recall correctly. So I’m staying in the back with you.”

 

Regulus had come to notice that James’ fierceness sometimes shifted into legitimate stubbornness. If he wanted something, he was going to get it, no matter what. 

 

It was the most frustrating side of his personality.

 

James edged closer and paused right in front of him, the tip of their boots brushing. His expression softened. “Please, let me stay close to you,” James whispered—a proper pleading. He leaned down and brought their cold foreheads together. Regulus noticed that he was trembling, though he wondered if it was because of the cold. “Please, love. Please.”

 

His voice sounded completely wretched. 

 

Regulus bit the inside of his cheek and fixed his gaze on James’ lips, forcing himself not to melt like caramel at the pet-name.

 

He much rather have James in the middle of the file. 

 

Safe. Where he could see him. Far from danger. 

 

But he understood him, unfortunately. Every time they had been distant from each other something awful had occurred right after.

 

It truly seemed as if they were destined to stay together. Close. As if the world conspired against them being apart. 

 

And perhaps, deep inside a dusty corner of his brain,  Regulus was starting to believe that too. 

 

Regulus glanced up at him and gave him a resigned sigh. “Fine,” he whispered after several moments, pulling away. “You stay in front of me.”

 

James grinned proudly as though he had just won a battle, and Regulus simply rolled his eyes. 

 

Stupid weakness. The entirety of him. 

 

“Alright, then,” announced Sirius as he cracked his back and neck. His mouth curved into a mad grin before speaking.

 

“Let’s get out of this shithole.”

 

ཐི༏ཋྀ󠀮

 

The snow was cold and wet against his skin. 

 

The searing kind of cold—the one that burnt and stung, the flash of his hand turning raw and red as he struggled to move through the towering drift. 

 

Barty kept inhaling and exhaling repeatedly, his breath showing in the air each time, forcing himself to focus entirely on the path ahead of him as his memory guided them all toward their way to freedom.  

 

In and out, Barty, he mumbled grimly to himself. 

 

In and out. 

 

The weight of everyone’s life pressed heavily on his chest; even more than the icy wall that threatened to swallow him whole after each step he took. 

 

He was trying not to think about it. 

 

He was trying not to think about anything, if he were honest. 

 

Not the immense responsibility he bore. Not the fact that breathing was becoming a proper mission, his lungs nearly failing him with every turned corner.  

 

He kept wading earnestly, pushing the worry in the back of his mind as he centered himself on the only two things he needed to do at the moment.

 

The essential ones.

 

Breathe and walk. 

 

Breathe and walk.

 

Unconsciously, he tightened the grip on Evan’s hand, searching for support. Evan’s hand was nearly as frozen as the snow surrounding them. 

 

“Hey,” Evan whispered, voice ever so soft, probably noticing the gesture. “You alright?”

 

Barty swallowed hard and forced a smile. It wouldn’t be ideal letting them know that their guide to freedom wasn’t as lucid as he should. “Yeah, yeah. Just cold.”

 

It was becoming harder and harder to walk. His clothes were completely drenched; his jeans clung to his skin so tightly he felt as if he were drowning inside quicksand, and his soaked jacket had become an obstacle rather than a protection, making his movements slower with every passing second. 

 

He was fortunate enough to be extremely tall—definetly more than average—so the drift only reached him until his torso. 

 

The girls and Peter weren’t as lucky; the snow nearly grazed their chins, making it difficult for them not only to move, but also to speak. 

 

“Shit—I can’t believe we’re actually getting out,” Sirius laughed after several minutes of silence—a loud crunching sound echoing after every word he spoke. “Fuck—it’s over. It’s really over.” 

 

“Don’t say it before it’s done, genius. Remember the lighter,” Mary countered, quickly regretting it as she nearly swallowed a chunk of snow after speaking.

 

“Maybe it was a gift,” replied Sirius cockily. “Reg, is the lighter a gift?”

 

Barty heard Regulus’ voice echo from behind. “How the fuck am I supposed to know?”

 

He felt extremely distant. 

 

They were walking on the two opposite edges of the file—two poles apart. 

 

The opener and the closer.

 

Barty’s stomach curled into knots at the thought. He didn’t like being so far away from him. Not after the Dementor’s attack. 

 

Not—ever, if he were honest. 

 

He smiled bitterly to himself. 

 

It was hard getting rid of an addiction. He was learning it the hard way.

 

“So grumpy,” Sirius whinged to Regulus. “Someone didn’t sleep last night?” 

 

Marlene promptly snorted. “Oh, he definitely didn’t.” 

 

Barty abruptly halted, making Evan nearly falter on him.

 

Sirius gave a low whistle. “What did I miss? James? Reg? Anything to share?”

 

“No,” Regulus replied—quicker than normal. “Why the fuck did we stop walking?”

 

Barty’s chest grew tighter. He swallowed a hard lump in his throat and hesitantly began moving again, muttering a faint apology. 

 

Fuck. 

 

Why couldn’t he move on? Why couldn’t he act like a normal person for once and simply—forget? 

 

He’d been so good at forgetting things. He forgot his entire life, for God's sake.

 

Why couldn’t he do the same with feelings? Why couldn’t he do anything fucking right?

 

Why was he even leading this entire test? He wasn’t good at it.

 

He wasn’t good at giving directions. He wasn’t good at keeping his emotions at bay when most needed. 

 

He wasn’t good at moving on from people. 

 

He wasn’t good at making them fall in love with him. 

 

He wasn’t good at anything. 

 

He was useless. And stupid. 

 

His life was useless. Why was he even trying to escape from the maze? 

 

He’d find nothing. No one was waiting for him. No one loved him. 

 

Not outside the maze. Not inside. 

 

No one was ever going to love him.

 

Anywhere.

 

Nowhere.

 

“You halted again,” Evan suddenly whispered from behind him, right by his ear. “Barty, is something wrong?”

 

He hadn’t even realized he had stopped walking again. How long had he stopped for?

 

Something was wrong. 

 

His chest started hurting. It felt as though something was pressing harshly on it—a violent force of some kind. He tried inhaling, but he quickly paused, wincing.  

 

It hurt. 

 

He tried again—

 

It burned. 

 

Again—

 

It stung. 

 

His heart started racing as a rush of uncontrollable thoughts flooded his brain, the snow crowding around him feeling terribly suffocating all of a sudden. 

 

Oh, God. 

 

He was trapped.

 

He was trapped in the middle of a snowdrift. He had no way to escape. 

 

He had no idea how to. He wasn’t good at escaping.

 

He wasn’t good at anything.

 

He was going to suffocate. 

 

He was going to die. 

 

“Hey! Can we move?” someone called from behind—the voice blurry inside his foggy mind. 

 

Evan inched closer, expression utterly concerned. “Barts? Hey, you’re shaking.”

 

Was he?

 

He hadn’t realized that either. 

 

He was understanding nothing. 

 

Nothing was clear. 

 

Everything was fuzzy—his vision, his hearing. All of his senses. 

 

He couldn’t even feel Evan’s hand as it gripped his tighter, almost aggressively.

 

He gasped as panic stabbed into him like a rose’s thorns through skin—slicing it open until blood stained the snow beneath his feet. 

 

He was dying. 

 

He couldn’t breathe. 

 

He was dying and he couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t do anything about it.

 

“Ev, I—I I I can’t—breathe,” he rasped as he dragged violent, desperate gasps for air. He felt as though he were drowning in the middle of the ocean. “I’m—dyinnng. I I m. Im—dyiiing.”

 

Evan’s eyes widened, realization striking him at once. He pulled his hand away and cupped Barty’s face forcefully. “No no no no not now, Barty. Hey, Hey. Breathe with me, Barty. Look at me. Inhale. Exhale.” 

 

The words became muffled in Barty’s ears—a loud buzzing sound piercing through his skull replacing them. 

 

Everything felt cold. Everything turned and twisted around him, as though he were on a rollercoaster that never switched off. 

 

Everything hurt. 

 

His cold body. His tight chest. His pounding heart. The lungs that wouldn’t work, no matter how much he forced them to. 

 

He was powerless. Unable to move or think. 

 

He gave up. 

 

He shut his eyes and surrendered to the ache. 

 

Because he wasn’t good at anything—

 

—anything

 

—anything

 

And he was dying—

 

—he was dying

 

—he was dying. 

Notes:

Lily’s Theme - Alexandre Desplat.