I loved you then, I love you still

by Brallux

Summary:

''If someone could read Blitz’s thoughts right now, they would think he was the biggest asshole that had ever assholed in the seven rings of hell. And he just might be, if he’s being completely honest.

Stolas is sleeping on the couch, looking just as miserable as he has been for the past several weeks since the trial.

It should make Blitz sad, to see him like this. He should be crying with him, crying until the tears stop running because the bird he cares about is miserable. But he just can’t.

Of course it hurts to see Stolas hurting, of course it makes his guts twist that he can’t even muster a smile on most days. But Blitz would be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy having Stolas here, to be able to see him, smell him, be around him.''

 

Or: Stolas is coping after the events of mastermind and sinsmas, meanwhile growing closer to Blitz and the rest of the I.M.P who welcomes him with open arms.

Note: As the tags state, there is a smut scene in this fanfic, but it is entirely skippable in case you don't want to read it. There will be a clear marker for the start of the scene and for the end of it. If you choose to skip the smut scene, you will only miss the smut. Nothing else. Cheers!

Chapter 1: The beginning

If someone could read Blitz’s thoughts right now, they would think he was the biggest asshole that had ever assholed in the seven rings of hell. And he just might be, if he’s being completely honest.

Stolas is sleeping on the couch, looking just as miserable as he has been for the past several weeks since the trial.

It should make Blitz sad, to see him like this. He should be crying with him, crying until the tears stop running because the bird he cares about is miserable. But he just can’t.

Of course it hurts to see Stolas hurting, of course it makes his guts twist that he can’t even muster a smile on most days. But Blitz would be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy having Stolas here, to be able to see him, smell him, be around him.

So, right in this moment when he should be grieving, he is instead celebrating internally as he looks at Stolas, sleeping with his brows furrowed and bags under his eyes. Because despite the sadness, the crying, the exhaustion and the heavy usage of anti-depressants, Stolas is blindingly beautiful on his couch, in his apartment.

Despite feeling bad, guilty and utterly shitty about it, Blitz’s heart makes stupid little backflips in his chest when he thinks about it.

Blitz looks down at the mug on the table in front of him, watching as the steam rises from the liquid inside. He raises it to his lips, taking a small sip of the hot tea. He swallows, feeling warmth spread throughout his body. He sighs, stretching and feeling his back pop.

Sleeping on that damn bean bag really wasn’t helping his aging back, but it was so worth it. Everything was worth it, as long as Stolas stays with him.

He looks back at the couch, startling slightly when he sees four, red eyes blinking back at him. He immediately stands up, smiling.

Stolas is laying on his back, blinking lazily at him with his head tilted back over the armrest of the couch. Blitz feels warmth spread from his stomach, and not just because of the tea.

‘’Morning, Stols.’’ He says, grinning. ‘’How are you feeling? I made you some mice, you know the ones I ordered online…’’ he watches Stolas for a reaction, but gets nothing.

He scratches the spikes on the back of his head and laughs awkwardly. ‘’I know you prefer rats but uh…I didn’t really-‘’

‘’It’s fine, Blitz. I’m not hungry.’’

Stolas’ voice is weak and frail, but also so hoarse. Blitz shudders. Fuck, that’s hot.

‘’C’mon, Stols, you have to eat something.’’ He tries, tilting his head and leaning over Stolas’ face.

Stolas sits up, not responding, and rubs his face. Blitz tries not to gawk at his shirtless back, but fails miserably. He also fails not to notice how Stolas has visibly gotten thinner, which is concerning considering he didn’t have much meat on his bones to begin with.

He hurries into the kitchen, grabbing the plate of fried mice, seasoned with nothing but salt. Stolas has yet to tell him any seasoning preferences, and Blitz honestly doubts he knows what spices were usually served to him at the palace. He grabs his cup of tea as well, and heads over to the couch.

Blitz plops down beside Stolas, and gives him the plate.

‘’You don’t have to eat them all.’’ He says, but looks hopefully at Stolas nonetheless. ‘’But eat at least one…okay? You need some food in ya.’’

Stolas looks down at the plate, and swallows as if to avoid throwing up. But, he nods nonetheless, mumbling a barely audible ‘’Thank you’’.

And so, their morning progresses as it has for the past weeks. Stolas picks at his food, forcing parts of it down with the help of water and some of the pills Via gave him.

Blitz has no idea how many he is prescribed to take a day, but he doubts it is as many as Stolas are taking. However, he has to trust the bird. After all, the pills are the only little piece of his old life he has left, as utterly depressing as that is.

At about eight o’clock, Blitz, Stolas and Loona head to the office after about 20 minutes of Blitz managing to drag her out of bed with only so much as three bitemarks.

Blitz pulls the van over at Moxxie and Millie’s place, watching the door patiently and hoping to see two forms appear as it swings open. Instead, It’s just Moxxie’s form that makes It’s way towards the car, again.

Blitz scoffs when he opens the door. ‘’Hey, no offense but where’s your better half, Mox? She still sick with the fire-flu?’’

Moxxie eyes him in the rearview mirror, taking a deep breath as he sits down with Loona in the backseat. She ignores him.

‘’Yes, sir, unfortunately. She is…feeling better, but she still needs to rest.’’

Blitz scoffs, trying with all his might to hide the worry blooming up in his chest.

Millie has never been sick before, not like this. The only time he’s ever seen her with a fever she still stubbornly went to the office, and he had to physically pin her down before he could get her out the door and on her way home again.

The Millie he knew would never take a day off, let alone a week. She must have caught it at sinsmas from one of Loona’s friends or something, and she must have caught it bad if It’s keeping her home this long.

The rest of the drive is very quiet, with Stolas being silent and melancholy as usual, Moxxie being strangely tight lipped, Loona being Loona and Blitz nervously drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

At the office, they check on the schedule for the day and go over the details of the current mission. Then, as usual, Blitz and Moxxie head through the portal, leaving Stolas and Loona behind.

Realistically, the job at the office could be handled by Stolas himself, considering that being a receptionist at an office only accessible by booking isn’t that hard. However, Blitz simply cannot trust him to be alone right now. He just…can’t.

Stolas might be blindingly beautiful in Blitz’s eyes, despite the obvious depression ruffle in his feathers and the dark eyebags under his bottom set of eyes. However, no amount of stupid sex chemicals can stop Blitz from noticing just how depressed Stolas is at the moment.

He has never mentioned wanting to harm himself, but Blitz can see it in his eyes; that blank, glazed over look he carries so often these days.

He recognizes that look from bar bathroom mirrors, the time after the fire where he was rogue and torn and angry, so incredibly angry at himself that everything else seemed null and pointless. Back then, he didn’t care what happened to him or anyone else. He was a dangerous, destructive force, that ultimately only lived to torture himself.

Stolas might lack the anger he himself felt during that time, but the look in his eyes are similar enough to make Blitz worry. So, Loona has to spend her days in the office, no matter how much she complains about it.

They step out of the portal, looking around cautiously.

‘’Looks like the right place, sir.’’ Moxxie comments, pointing his rifle at just about anything around them.

‘’Calm your tits, Mox, there’s no one here.’’ Blitz comments, jumping out of the portal and onto the concrete floor.

‘’Apologies for worrying, you’re right, sir. We’re only at a human military base, after all. Nothing to worry about. No guards, no weapons, no alarm triggered by-‘’

Moxxie is abruptly cut off with a ringing noise high enough to make Blitz hiss and cower, dropping his gun to cover his ears.

‘’Oh! Never mind!’’ Moxxie shouts, giving Blitz a pointed look that just screams ‘’I told you so’’. Blitz rolls his eyes.

‘’Let’s move it before those bastards get here!’’

The mission isn’t without Its difficulties, to say the least. The alarm set off by their movement starts a chase between hundreds of guards and the two imps, who can do nothing but run, shoot, hide and repeat. After about half an hour of this they are both exhausted and panting in a vent, and without any luck of spotting the target.

‘’Fuck, I don’t know how long we can keep this shitty ass chase up! These bastards won’t give up!’’

‘’I…I know!’’ Moxxie pants, reloading his rifle with shaking hands. ‘’I guess we’ll just have to…portal back…’’ he coughs, breathing laboriously.

‘’Fuck no! You think? We can’t just…leave the client hanging.’’ Blitz retorts, but realizes at the same time that Moxxie won’t make it for much longer. Fuck, he won’t make it either, if he’s being completely honest.

‘’How about this…’’ Blitz says, a stupid idea beginning to form in his head. ‘’We go out there, shoot as many of those fuckers as possible, and then we portal back and tell the client the target is dead! With over a hundred dead soldiers ending up in hell, he wouldn’t be able to tell if we got the guy or not!’’

Moxxie looks at him as if he’s grown at least four more heads. ‘’And how are you so sure they’ll end up in hell, sir? Aren’t they like…serving their country?’’

‘’They’re killing people, Mox, they’re not so different from us hellborn.’’ Blitz cocks his gun, grinning. ‘’Besides, we’d be serving our ‘’country’’ in a way, wouldn’t we? Giving new souls to that big, red, ugly, disgusting-‘’

‘’Alright, alright’’ Moxxie cuts him off, rubbing his forehead. ‘’I know you’re angry at Satan because he almost killed your boyfriend…and the rest of us, but that’s not relevant right now. We’ll go with your plan, but we do it fast and you have to be timely with the portal, okay sir?’’

Blitz opens his mouth to correct Moxxie on the term ‘’boyfriend’’, despite it stinging a little to do so, but he’s interrupted by the floor of the vent suddenly being peppered with bullet holes.

‘’Shit! Run, Mox!’’ Blitz yells, both of them already sprinting forward in the small vent space.

They manage to outrun the bullets, presumably entering a different room where the soldiers couldn’t follow, and make their way out the vent and out into said room; a storage space for cleaning supplies.

As soon as the soldiers reach the supply room and rip open the door, Blitz and Mox are already covered behind boxes and ready to aim, shooting every soldier that happens to step into the room. When it becomes too crowded and the bullets start running out, Blitz makes a portal and they both throw themselves through it, quickly closing it behind them before any soldiers can think to follow.

Some of the bullets follow them into the office, however, and the wall sustains some damage while Blitz and Moxxie throw themselves onto the floor.

They lay there for a while, panting together before finally lifting their heads, staring at the bullet holes in the wall in front of them and at the empty space behind them where the portal was. They both sigh in relief and high five, before sitting up.

‘’Good job today, Moxxie. Let’s just hope we got the fucker we were looking for.

‘’Satan, I honestly couldn’t tell.’’ Moxxie breathes, standing up on shaky legs to brush some vent-dust off of his pants. ‘’Good job, Blitz.’’ He then freezes up, looking over. ‘’Sir.’’

Blitz quirks an eyebrow, but smirks at him to let him know It’s okay. ‘’Don’t get your panties in a twist, It’s fine. Just my name is fine.’’

Moxxie nods, giving him a small smile.

Blitz stands up, brushing his own clothes off before looking around the office, expecting a shocked Stolas to sit at the desk. Instead, he’s met with a very uninterested Loona, who merely raises a paw to greet him. A funny feeling sets in his stomach.

‘’Hi Looney…where’s Stolas?’’

Loona rolls her eyes. ‘’I don’t know, I never signed up to be a birdsitter.’’

Blitz takes a deep breath, the feeling in his stomach twisting into a sharp, ugly spike ball of worry.

‘’Looney…’’

‘’Ugh, fine. I think he went into the bathroom.’’

Blitz breathes out. ‘’Oh! Alright. Why didn’t you just say so, Looney Tooney?’’ he walks over to squish her cheek, but she swats him away.

‘’He’s been in there for a while, though.’’ She adds, as if it isn’t the most hell shattering thing ever. Blitz stares at her with such terror that she actually looks up from her phone, surprised.

‘’Dad…?’’

‘’How long?’’ Blitz asks, urgency clear in his voice.
‘’Sir, I think-‘’ Moxxie starts behind him, but Blitz cuts him off.

‘’Loona, how long?’’

Loona shifts uncomfortably in her chair. ‘’Uh…I don’t know like, twenty minutes? Half an hour?’’

It feels as if the ground has caved beneath him. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Without a word, Blitz bolts toward the bathroom, all the adrenaline and fear from the mission boiling right back up in his chest.

Shit, shit, shit…

It’s not too late, it can’t be, he can’t be too late…

‘’Stolas!’’ he yells as he enters the small bathroom, looking desperately at the four stalls. Three of them are slightly open, clearly empty. Except for one. The door is closed and locked, and Blitz can see tail feathers sticking out from beneath it, black as tar.

‘’Stolas, please answer! Are you okay?’’ he bangs on the door, his voice sounding insane and desperate even to his own ears.

It takes a few moments for him to hear it over the banging and his own heavy, desperate breathing, but a small sob reaches his ears, and he stops and listens.

It’s hard to make out, but a small, cooing crying sound can be heard from the other side of the door. Blitz takes the deepest breath he can ever remember taking, and lets it out again in a shaking sigh of relief.

‘’I…I’m sorry for disturbing you.’’ He says, voice unstable. ‘’I just…I was scared you’d…’’ he cuts himself off, placing a cold, clammy hand on the bathroom door. ‘’Can I come in?’’

There’s silence on the other side, only for a moment. Then the lock twists, and the door opens slightly. Blitz opens it all the way, and looks down upon the curled up, shaking frame of Stolas on the floor of the bathroom stall.

He is so big, so tall. A former, powerful prince. And yet, he looks so small and so frail, and Blitz just wants to scoop him up into his arms and kiss him into oblivion, until everything feels right again.

But he can’t. Kisses won’t fix anything, no matter how pleasant they might be. So, he crouches beside his bird, carefully reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder. Stolas doesn’t shake him off, but he doesn’t look at him either.

‘’Hey, Stols. I’m here.’’ He whispers, feeling the slight vibration of Stolas’ sobs through his bony shoulders. ‘’I’m here.’’
Stolas makes a bird-like sound that cuts right through Blitz’s heart, and finally lifts his face from his knees, tears and snot having dampened the soft, white plumage of his face.

Such a gorgeous face.

His white pupils are small and vibrating, however, and Blitz can see that he’s not at all focused, too gone in his own grief. Blitz takes a shaky breath, sinking down to his knees and cradling that beautiful, damp face against his shoulder, arms wrapped around Stolas’ back.

‘’There you are.’’ He whispers, rocking slightly back and forth. ‘’There.’’

Chapter 2: On a hill by the city

Blitz might actually be going crazy.

He definitely will, anyway, if he keeps existing in this crowded apartment.

Loona realized this a while back, he understands, considering she has been out to parties or sleepovers almost every night. He supposes not even a wall could keep the unbearable, heavy feeling radiating from the couch from reaching her.

Blitz wants Stolas with him here, more than anything, but he also has to admit somewhere along the way that the vibe that Stolas brings at the moment is…heavy, to say the least.

Ever since Stolas’ breakdown in the office bathroom a couple days ago, he hasn’t said much of anything except ‘’no’’, ‘’yes’’ and ‘’maybe’’.

Blitz gave him the Friday off to rest in the apartment on the condition that Stolas would pick up Blitz’s phone if he called it from the office. He did pick up when Blitz called him, he’ll give him that. However, he merely hummed at Blitz’s questions, before hanging up before Blitz could even say goodbye.

Blitz had thought it was just an extra hard couple of days, that some space and time would at least make him coherent again. But no, nothing. And now, during a Saturday when Blitz should be relaxing and recovering from the week, he’s instead pacing around the apartment with a mug of alcohol-infused tea, worrying about nothing and everything.

Because not only is Stolas a hot mess right now (emphasis on hot), but Moxxie and Millie isn’t picking up their phones.

He had simply wanted to call them and casually ask them about Millie’s health, maybe make a few jokes about how the client from Thursday had completely bought the claim that they had killed his target, hook line and sinker.

However, them not answering and leaving their phones on ‘’do not disturb’’… it is making him a lot more anxious than he would ever care to admit.

Some shit has gone down, some shit that Moxxie refuses to tell him about during those silent car rides to work.

Blitz spends the morning pacing around the kitchen, taking a cold shower, poorly folding the laundry even though he never folds the laundry, wiping the screen of the tv down with a napkin… anything to keep himself occupied.

Around lunch, however, he reaches his breaking point.

He cooks some rats for Stolas, after finally actually being able to catch some with a homemade contraption made from wires and a makeshift, grill-grate cage. When he gives the plate to Stolas, however, the owl merely glances at them and shakes his head, turning his gaze back to the black screen of the tv. Staring at nothing.

That’s it. Blitz can’t take this anymore.

‘’Stolas.’’ He says, setting the plate down on the floor. No answer. He clears his throat, sharpening his tone a bit just to get some type of reaction. ‘’Stolas.’’

Stolas looks at him, eyes empty and glazed over. Blitz sighs, letting his composure and shoulders fall and shatter against the floor, along with his patience.

‘’I just…I can’t do this anymore.’’

Stolas’ eyes widen, just slightly, and then he sinks further into the couch, like a sad, feathery sack of potatoes.

‘’Alright. I’ll…I’ll move.’’

Blitz looks at him, confused. ‘’What?’’

Stolas looks away, back at the empty tv. ‘’I understand that…that I’m not easy to deal with when I’m like this.’’ He breathes, a small, meekly whistling through his beak. ‘’You didn’t sign up for this, and I have full understanding of-‘’

‘’Oh, shut that beak, Stolas that’s not what I meant at all!’’ Blitz breathes in as Stolas looks at him, trying to soften his tone.

He really isn’t angry at him, he just needs Stolas to know that he’s wanted.

‘’Fuck, sorry. I just…I want you around, okay?’’

Blitz looks straight in front of him, not meeting the four, red eyes currently focused on him.

‘’I…don’t need to be coddled, Blitz.’’ Stolas says, sounding defeated in way that makes Blitz want to punch something. ‘’I don’t want to be a burden to you and Loona, I just…you don’t have to keep me around because I’m like this.’’
Blitz looks at Stolas as if he is the most beautiful, foolish thing he has ever seen, and shakes his head in pure fucking disbelief.

‘’I’m not keeping you around just because you’re sad, birdbrain, I want you to be around!’’ he let’s out a heavy breath, adding: ‘’Forever.’’

And Satan, if the surprise on Stolas’ face doesn’t add at least three years to his lifespan. Those lifeless, red eyes finally light up, if only a little, and Blitz could just about drown in them.

‘’What…?’’ Stolas squawks, his voice raspy and weak from lack of usage.

‘’You heard me, Stolas.’’ Blitz answer, his heart beating like crazy in his chest. Fuck, is this too soon? ‘’We need to talk about a few things, okay? If you can’t right now, that’s fine, but-‘’

‘’I can talk.’’ Stolas replies, his eyes still fixated on Blitz. They’re still tired, but there’s something new in them, something awake.

Blitz lights up, smiling at him and feeling heat rise to his face, completely nonvoluntary.

‘’Alright. Then…should we get out of here? To get some air? I think I know a calm spot, where there won’t be anyone to disturb us. How about it?’’

Stolas looks at him for a moment, then he nods, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

‘’Yes, I think that would be for the best. To…get out a little.’’

Blitz just about stops himself from raising some kind of fist of victory, and settles for a wide smile.

‘’Thank you, Stols. That means a lot.’’ He points down at the plate of untouched rats. ‘’Now try to eat at least a little bit, and then we’ll be off.’’

About an hour later, they have arrived at the destination Blitz had decided on. Half of the drive had been uphill, and that was for good reason.

Blitz steps out of the van and lends a hand to Stolas, who always has some issues getting out due to his height.

‘’Here we are, birdy. What do you think?’’

Stolas straightens up and looks around, his white pupils darting around the space.

Blitz have taken them to a tall hill on the outskirts of town, a small lookout point that has long since been overgrown and abandoned. Still, it has a bumpy parking space and privacy, and that’s about all they need right now.

Stolas walks closer to the edge of the hill, looking down onto the city. It’s the middle of the day, so it’s bright neon lights aren’t visible yet, but It’s still interesting to look at; the cars, the sounds, the rising smog.

Stolas turns to him, a small smile on his face.

‘’What is this place, Blitz?’’

Blitz feels like the king of the fucking world, being able to make Stolas smile, if even for a moment.

‘’It’s a lookout point, made to uh…stargaze and smooch.’’ He looks down at the ground, blushing slightly. ‘’But uh…It’s not like…we’re here during the day so, like…’’ he clears his throat. ‘’that’s not why we’re here.’’

‘’Stargazing.’’ Stolas says. His voice is hollow, pained. He looks up at the sky, red and full of grey smoke.

‘’Yeah…it hasn’t been used for that for a while, the stars are barely visible from here now, hence the uh…’’ he gestures towards all the grass and plants, growing wildly over the parking space and surrounding area.

Stolas shakes his head, sighing. ‘’I used to…with the Grimoire…I could go into this space where I could see all the stars, all the planets, the constellations.’’ Stolas closes his eyes, as if to imagine it. ‘’It was so beautiful, so majestic, so big.’’

Blitz stares at him, his throat going completely and utterly dry as his heart thumps foolishly in his chest.

Oh Satan, how will he ever survive this? How will he live if he has to sustain three minor heart attacks every time he looks at this magnificent ass bird?

Stolas opens his eyes and looks at him, causing Blitz to let out a shuddering breath. ‘’I always wanted to take you there someday.’’ Stolas admits, voice melancholy. ‘’But now…’’

Blitz swallows down the dryness of his throat, unable to avoid how flattered he is at the prospect. ‘’You wanted…to take me there?’’ he asks, genuinely surprised.

Stolas nods, turning back to the sky. ‘’Always.’’

Blitz shudders at the word, and carefully walks a little closer to Stolas, sliding his hand into his cold talons. Stolas does not protest.

‘’C’mon, pretty bird. Let’s sit down, shall we?’’

Stolas looks down at him, giving him another one of those soft, melancholy smiles that makes his body burn from the inside out.

‘’Pretty? You’re too kind, Blitz.’’

Blitz shakes his head. ‘’I’m not kind, you’re just…hot.’’

Stolas actually laughs at that, and Blitz swears to dick that he is going to explode. This is just too much. Stolas is just…everything, all the time.

They sit down together on the grass, looking out towards the city. Not too close, but right beside each other nonetheless. They are silent for a moment, just taking in the rather ugly sight and just breathing, existing on the hill together.

After a while, Blitz opens his mouth to say something, to start the conversation off easy. Instead, Stolas starts speaking before him, startling him slightly.

‘’It’s been so, so difficult.’’ He says, quietly, his voice hoarse. Blitz instantly closes his mouth and nods, listening.

‘’Losing my powers and my title was hard. The title and role I was given at birth have simply been…stripped away from me. I’m nobody. And, even when I was somebody…to think it was that frail, that easy to ruin, all along…’’ he scoffs.

‘’I thought I was one of the most powerful beings in hell, that I held a power unique to me. I don’t know who…or what I am without that power.’’

Stolas sighs, shaking his head and looking at Blitz. ‘’I must sound like a real asshole, complaining about losing power that you never had.’’ He smiles apologetically. ‘’I don’t mean to insinuate that your way of living is any less important than mine was.’’

‘’No, no.’’ Blitz quickly responds, shaking his head. ‘’I get it. I mean…I can’t know exactly how you feel, obviously, but…I understand that it must be scary, and confusing to have your life completely overturned like that.’’

Stolas looks down at the city, looking tired and sad. But his eyes aren’t dead as they have been for the past week, they’re alive, just distant.

‘’Everything was planned right from the start, you know. When I was small I simply…received the grimoire, and a picture of my bride to be, and my fate was sealed right in front of me, without question. I was given so much power, and yet…I never had any power over my own life, my own autonomy.’’ He shakes his head.

‘’It was decided who I was to become, who I was to marry, when I was to marry her, approximately when an heir was expected to be produced…everything was planned and laid out for me. Everything…but you.’’

Stolas turns and meets Blitz’s eyes, those white pupils burrowing deep into him, sending hot and cold shivers through him like missiles. Blitz swallows, not knowing what to say.

‘’How…old were you? When you were given the grimoire, I mean? I remember you already had it when we met as kids.’’

Stolas gives a short, joyless chuckle.

‘’That day we met…yes. It was on that day I received the grimoire, my 11th birthday.’’

Blitz stares at him. ‘’You…wait, wait. You received the grimoire…that very day? And it was your birthday?’’

Stolas nods somberly. ‘’Yes. I was so excited about receiving the book, finally knowing what I was destined to do. But then my father informed me of who I was to marry and, well…I wasn’t thrilled. So, he took me to the circus, where I met you.’’

Blitz looks over the city, slowly taking it in. He had been sold to Stolas that day, as if he was a shiny new toy to play with and then throw away. That’s the way he thought Stolas had always viewed him, something to use and then forget.

Oh how wrong he had been.

It had always been the system, the law, the very structure of hell, the Goetia family…not Stolas.

Stolas had never been the problem, he had merely been a part of it.

‘’My life may have been planned out, but it wasn’t miserable, not at first.’’ Stolas continues after a minute of silence. ‘’As a teenager, I shouldered my responsibilities well. I made my father and the Goetia family proud. I read the stars and told them prophecies that would help us thrive, and I did so without question.’’ He sighs. ‘’But then, at eighteen, it was time for me to wed. Of course, that changed everything.’’

‘’Eighteen?’’ Blitz asks, shocked. ‘’You married that old witch at eighteen?’’

Stolas nods. ‘’Yes. She wasn’t happy about it either. She didn’t have a choice in the matter, you must understand. We were both born into the same situation, our lives decided for us by others.’’

Blitz scoffs. ‘’Sure, but she chose to be a bitch, and you didn’t.’’

Stolas snickers at that, but doesn’t look at him. ‘’That may be so. But I can’t say I’m happy with my own behavior, either. I treated you and all other imps around me like…like…’’ his words die out on his tongue, and he shuts his beak with a click, swallowing. ‘’I deserve all of this.’’

Blitz reaches out for him, lightly touching his shoulder.

‘’No you don’t, Stols. I…listen, everything I said when you gave me the crystal-’’

Stolas sighs, straightening up, and Blitz lets go of his shoulder.

‘’We were told that we should try and produce an heir as soon as possible, me and Stella. It…it was a trying time. Neither of us wanted to…it was…’’ the words die out on his tongue and he winces, clearly reliving something he wishes to forget.

‘’Anyway, it was…successful at last. And Octavia hatched during a storm.’’ He smiles painfully. ‘’I was so worried that the thunder and Its vibrations had cracked her egg but it hadn’t. It was all her. My brave little girl.’’

Blitz studies Stolas’ features, the way he smiles slightly with eyes full of sorrow, the way the slight wind moves in his feathers. He breathes out, long and hard.

‘’I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, Stolas. It sounds…really hard.’’

Fuck. He doesn’t know what to say, his vocabulary is too small, and he doesn’t know which words to use to make his sentences sound enough for the conversation. There most likely aren’t enough words to describe what he’s feeling, and how badly he wants Stolas to feel better, to be able to heal.

‘’I suppose it was hard.’’ Stolas replies. ‘’But it was all worth it, for Via. It all had to happen for her to exist.’’

Blitz looks out over the city, over the traffic, the moving, tiny specks of life and the red light illuminating from the sky.

‘’I understand.’’ Blitz replies, because this time he does. ‘’I might not have any biological children…’’ he pauses. ‘’that I know of, but Loona…I care about her as if she were my own.’’ He scoffs. ‘’It might sound crazy, I’ve only known her since she was seventeen but…it feels like I’ve known her my whole life.’’

‘’It’s not crazy.’’ Stolas responds, tilting his head toward Blitz. ‘’I don’t believe it makes a difference whether she is yours biologically or not, she’s still your daughter. I don’t know her very well but I can tell that you love each other very much.’’

Blitz smiles, turning to Stolas. ‘’I…can tell that Octavia means everything to you, as well. And fuck, I’m no expert but from what I’ve seen, she loves you a whole lot as well.’’

Stolas eyes open, his white pupils darting around Blitz’s face, trying to search for something in it. Blitz nods, doing his best to really cement what he just said, to make sure Stolas understands that he means it.

Stolas takes a shuddering breath, tears appearing in his eyes.

Fuck. Did Blitz go too far?

‘’Oh, no. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-‘’

He reaches out towards Stolas, seeking to comfort him, but Stolas grabs his hand in both his talons, squeezing it gently. ‘’Thank you, Blitz.’’ He murmurs, kissing the hand, a light blush covering his features beautifully.

Blitz can only stare.

It’s remarkable that a bird that has seen and touched every inch of his body can make him melt with a simple kiss to his knuckles, but here he is, a puddle in Stolas’ talons.

Stolas laughs quietly, because Blitz must look ridiculous right now. He lowers their hands down to the ground, fingers and talons lightly intertwined. The smile and blush slowly disappear from Stolas’ face, and Blitz swears that he would kill every human on earth just to bring them back.

‘’I miss her.’’ Stolas whispers, the tears from earlier reappearing in his eyes. ‘’I miss her so much. She is the light of my life and I…I haven’t been there for her. She thinks I don’t care about her, and she has all the right to feel that way. I…I should have…’’

The tears start falling down Stolas’ face, and he retracts his talons from Blitz to hide himself, bending forwards with shaking shoulders.

Blitz looks at him, not knowing whether he should hug him or just stay put.

‘’Stolas…’’

‘’The worst thing is, I could have prevented this!’’ Stolas continues, louder now. His voice is full of tears and regret, and it hurts to hear. ‘’I could have, no I should have been there with her, during the divorce and during the aftermath but I was too damn foolish and so caught up in my own stupid fantasies that I didn’t…I didn’t see what was right fucking in front of me!’’

Stolas is sob-yelling now, and Blitz has no idea what to do or say to make this situation any better. So, he decides to just sit back and listen, to really try and absorb how Stolas is feeling and thinking.

‘’Fuck! I was so caught up on you and telling you how I felt about you and how it would work out between us! I didn’t even give Via a chance to meet you, I never even talked properly to her about you, she only sees you as someone who stole her father away, because that’s all I’ve shown her! I never sat down to explain that I love her, and that no one can replace her. I’ve been so horrible, how could I ignore her like this? She has no idea that I love her just as much as I love you!’’

Stolas suddenly quiets, clasping a hand to his beak and staring out into space, clearly mortified of what just slipped out.

Blitz stares at him, soaking up those three little words like a thirsty sponge, even though he’s certain he wasn’t meant to hear them yet.

Stolas loves him. He actually loves him.

Somehow, some way this beautiful, big bird has fallen for him, out of all the rotten apples in hell.

Blitz swallows, and leans closer to Stolas, not quite reaching out to him, but making his presence and proximity known by a slight touch of his arm. Stolas doesn’t flinch, but his eyes dart warily in Blitz’s direction, too scared to look at him but wary of his reaction nonetheless.

‘’Stolas…’’ he says, his voice low and soft, softer than he’s ever heard before. Ugh, this stupid owl has turned him into such a simp.

‘’I know it doesn’t help when I tell you this, but she will know eventually. You will get a chance to talk to her, and then we’ll make sure she knows how much you love her. She just needs time, and she needs support, and I know it must hurt so fucking bad to not be able to be there for her right now. But trust me, she’ll make it.’’ He smiles at Stolas, carefully wiping away one of his tears.

‘’And one day you’ll get to talk to her again, and she’ll still be your sweet little girl, just…older and wiser.’’

Stolas closes his eyes and shivers, silver tears running down his soft, feathery cheek, down onto Blitz’s hand.

‘’I don’t want to miss it.’’ He whines, leaning into Blitz’s touch. ‘’I don’t…I don’t want her to grow up without me.’’

Blitz wipes his tears and lets him slowly lean into him until he’s sobbing in his arms, a mess of feathers and sleep deprivation.

They sit there for a while in silence, interrupted only by Stolas’ quiet hoots and sobs and the constant sound of honking and sirens from the city below.

Slowly but surely, the feeling of satisfaction and giddiness over Stolas’ accidental semi-confession fades, and is replaced by a worry that is only strengthened by Stolas broken sobs.

What if he regrets it all?

He did tell Blitz during sinsmas that saving him during the trial was the right thing to do, despite the consequences. But what if he only said that to be nice? What if he only said that so that Blitz wouldn’t be upset?

The worry gnaws at him, and It’s that kind of ache that he knows won’t go away until he faces it head on. He has felt that ache pretty much his whole life, and has spent nearly all of his time running from it.

But, he has grown, at least enough to realize that that isn’t going to work with Stolas. And he’s ready to try just about anything with him, no matter how challenging.

So, when Stolas’ tears have stopped flowing and he’s quiet and breathing against Blitz’s shoulder, Blitz clears his throat.

‘’How are you feeling?’’

Stolas doesn’t move, but he nods. ‘’I’m…fine.’’

Blitz knows that that’s bullshit, but he lets it slide for now. He shifts a little, but strokes Stolas’ back to make sure he doesn’t feel pressured to move.

‘’I just…wanted to ask you, although you already kind of told me the answer…I know It’s fucking stupid but like…’’ Blitz takes a deep breath, exhaling it again. ‘’do you…regret what you did? During the trial?’’

He closes his eyes, expecting Stolas to sigh and admit that he does, but he doesn’t. Instead he raises his head from Blitz’s shoulder, leans back and makes an almost offended bird noise that makes Blitz open his eyes in pure surprise.

‘’Blitz! You foolish imp, do you seriously think I regret saving your life after you’ve expressed your feelings and saved mine in return?’’

Blitz stares at him, straight into those white, pin point pupils, all of a sudden so alive with infuriated irritation. He can’t help but smile, which only seems to piss Stolas off further.

‘’What are you smirking at, you little-‘’ Stolas stops himself, furrowing his brows and pulling further back from him. ‘’You’re toying with me.’’

Blitz can’t help himself, he has to laugh at that. ‘’I’m not, I swear! I just…I’m just glad to see some spark back in you, is all.’’ He smiles, feeling himself slip into one of the corniest grins he’s ever had plastered over his face.

Stolas smiles back, actually smiles, and Blitz has to fight like a horny, rabid dog to not lean in and kiss him.

It’s too early, Stolas still needs time.

They sit together for a while more, not quite cuddling but touching each other lightly and looking at the city. Blitz makes a comment here and there, and Stolas nods along.

Eventually, the light chatter turns into talking, mostly on Blitz’s part, but It’s obvious that Stolas is listening to him. He talks about starting the business, and how he found Moxxie and Millie. It all goes so smoothly, so easily as if his life is an open book for Stolas to read.

Before Blitz knows it, the circus and his childhood is on his lips, shit he never thought he would tell anyone.

At first, he only brings up lighthearted stuff, like how he sucked at being a clown and how his sister fell from the tightrope that one time. But the conversation slowly starts flowing over into heavier and heavier territory, until he’s suddenly at that fateful day.

The day that is etched into his mind and body forever, relentless, ruthless and completely his fault. He stops his steady stream of talking, and swallows.

Is this really something he wants to share with Stolas now?

‘’Blitz?’’ Stolas asks beside him, his glowing eyes studying him.

‘’Sorry.’’ Blitz replies, smirking in an attempt to mask his sudden discomfort. ‘’I just…I don’t want to make this about me. It’s supposed to be about you, you know?’’

Stolas scoffs. ‘’I’m done thinking about my issues for the day.’’ His face softens. ‘’If there’s something you’re not ready to tell me, you don’t have to. But…I want you to know I’m willing to listen. Just because I’m…in a mood doesn’t mean I can’t listen.’’

Blitz smiles, but feels a strange sensation of tears starting to form in his eyes, a straining pull in the back of his throat.

Fuck, don’t cry.

‘’I…thanks.’’ He says simply, swallowing against the pull. Stolas nods, putting his warm talons on Blitz’s cheek.

‘’Whenever you’re ready.’’

Fuuuuuck.

Blitz simply nods and smiles, but inside he’s boiling. How the fuck do demons suffer through this daily? Is this how Millie and Moxxie feels? How do they even function? Well, they barely do, if he’s to be completely honestly.

Suddenly, them making out whenever they get a chance makes sense to him.

He feels his face getting hot under Stolas’ gaze, and so he looks away, focusing on the city.

Then he starts talking.

All of a sudden, it all just pours out of him. All the memories and trauma and absolute shit that has been bottled up for years, details about the day that he had completely forgotten…all his guts spill out, just for Stolas to examine.

And It’s fucking terrifying. It’s terrifying and such a fat fucking relief.

He tells Stolas about how his dad wished Fizz was his son, how Blitz’s feelings for Fizz had grown over the years and how it led up to that fateful day when he decided to write him a letter.

He tells Stolas about the candles on the cake, the fire, the chaos and the horses and imps running into and over each other. He tells him of the panic, the pain, about being burned but still fighting, searching for his mom in a blind panic after leaving Fizz to die in the tent.

And then finally, Blitz tells Stolas about his mom, the fire that engulfed her and how she melted before him like candlewax as if she wasn’t the most important person in his life.

After he had finished his story, it was as if he was back there, trapped in front of that damn circus once again. The sky was illuminated with a sickening, green light and the ground charred and warm under his shoes.

Then he feels something warm and wet drop down on his fingers, and he hears that soft hooting sound that Stolas makes when he’s crying, and he’s immediately snapped out of it.

‘’Stolas?’’ he asks in surprise, voice raspy from all the trauma dumping. He turns to look at the bird, and is met with a face wet with tears and crinkled in sadness, Stolas seemingly only being able to make small noises.

Blitz swallows, almost feeling a bit awkward. What is he supposed to say?

‘’Oh, Stols everything…everything is okay now, alright?’’ he tries, realizing that he may have gone a little hard on the details. ‘’Shit, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to dump all that shit on you.’’

‘’No! No It’s not…’’ Stolas manages between the sobs, wiping his face ferociously. ‘’It’s not that I…I just didn’t know I…I’m so, so sorryyyy!’’ he cries burying his face in his hands dramatically. If Blitz didn’t know better he would laugh.

‘’Come on, It’s…well it was bad but I feel better now! I healed, started a business, adopted a daughter, made…friends.’’ He swallows, pushing down the feeling of dread that appears when he thinks of Millie and Moxxie’s silence. ‘’Fizz forgave me, and…I met you, Stolas.’’

He smiles, patting the weeping owl on the head.

Satan, his feathers are soft.

‘’B-but your mother she…and it wasn’t your fault Blitz you were just…you were young, and in love and…fuuuuck!’’ Stolas continues sobbing, and Blitz wonders whether telling him was really the best idea.

Blitz continues patting him awkwardly until he calms down. But, despite the awkwardness he is somehow relieved about Stolas’ reaction.

He thought that Stolas might view him differently, or even get angry with him. But no. He simply weeps for him, weeps for the fact that he had to endure so much pain.

There’s something comforting in that, seeing someone else mourn your losses so that you don’t have to, if only for one moment.

Once Stolas calms down (again), he lifts his head to look at Blitz, meeting his eyes.

And Blitz loves to meet those white pupils. He does not know why they are there permanently now, if It’s due to Stolas’ emotional distress or whether it has to do with the loss of his powers, but he finds them beautiful.

There’s something so normal about being able to see where he is looking, to be able to catch him looking at Blitz’s lips in a way he couldn’t before.

Stolas raises his taloned hand and puts it against Blitz’s scarred cheek, stroking his talons carefully against it, tears still swimming in his eyes. Blitz swears that his heart stops for a moment.

‘’I…I never knew where these came from I just…assumed you’d hurt yourself on your missions.’’ Stolas whispers. Blitz swallows.

‘’Might as well have, to be honest.’’

Stolas nods absentmindedly, lifting one of Blitz’s hands in his own, stroking his talons over the scarred parts of it.

‘’You know It’s not your fault, right? What happened to the circus?’’

Blitz swallows, his stomach tightening itself into a hard knot.

Fuck. He really wasn’t expecting this.

‘’I uh…I mean technically, I was the one who-‘’

‘’Blitz.’’ Stolas says, his voice sterdy in a way Blitz has never heard before. He shudders.

‘’It’s not your fault.’’

Blitz meets his eyes, looking into those white pupils.

‘’Stolas…’’

‘’It’s not your fault.’’ Stolas repeats, looking at him so earnestly that he wants to cry like a fucking baby. And then he nods, as if he hasn’t been telling himself the opposite half of his life. As if it was that fucking easy.

‘’I…thank you.’’ He mumbles, his eyes wandering downward, stopping at Stolas’ beak, and then bouncing up towards his eyes again.

And just like the balcony at Sinsmas, he sees that Stolas looks at his lips as well, before looking up at him, meeting his eyes. Blitz swallows.

Maybe Stolas isn’t ready yet, he promised himself they would take it slow, that they would-

‘’Can I ask you…about what you said earlier today at the apartment?’’ Stolas asks, sounding just as breathless as Blitz is feeling.

‘’Uh I…I said a lot of things.’’ Blitz replies, slurring his speech like a god damn stoner. Stolas smiles slightly, a light blush covering his features.

Blitz has to look away, he can’t deal with this fucking torture anymore.

‘’You…said that you wanted me around…forever.’’ Stolas manages, laughing awkwardly before adding. ‘’Did you mean that?’’

Blitz turns back to look at him, because It’s really fucking important that Stolas understands this. ‘’Yes. I meant it so fucking hard, you have no idea.’’

Stolas blushes, his eyes widening and a slight smile spreading on his face.

‘’Oh! My, I’m…I’m flattered.’’ He looks away. ‘’I…wouldn’t mind making my residing with you…a permanent thing either. If It’s not too much of a burden, of course.’’

Blitz shakes his head. ‘’No! Not at all, though…the apartment is rather small.’’ He smirks. ‘’We’ll have to look for a new one, eventually.’’

Stolas smiles back, his eyes looking alive and well, even if It’s just for a fleeting moment. ‘’Eventually.’’

Blitz is just about to put his head on Stolas’ shoulder, as if life has suddenly become a fucking rom com, but he’s interrupted by the ringing of the phone in his pocket. He sighs, picking it up.

He freezes, staring at the screen as shock, relief and fear course through him all at the same time.

‘’Blitz? Is everything okay?’’ Stolas asks, bending forward to read the name on the screen:

Millie.

Chapter 3: A botched mission

With a shaking finger, Blitz answers the phone, having absolutely no idea what to expect.
‘’Hello?’’ he says, pulse throbbing in his throat.

‘’Hi, Blitz.’’ A tired Millie answers from the other side of the line. He breathes out a heavy breath of relief.

‘’Millie! I…how are you? Mox has barely told me anything, he’s been ranting about some damn fire-flu and fuck, honestly I’ve been pretty-‘’

‘’I’m pregnant.’’

Blitz quiets, letting out a surprised laugh. ‘’Ha, what? What do you mean?’’

His brain doesn’t compute. What just happened? Why would she say that? Is she joking? Lying?

Millie sighs on the other side of the line. She sounds exhausted. ‘’I’m pregnant, Blitz. I don’t have the flu, I’m not sick just…pregnant. That’s why I haven’t been comin’ to work.’’

Blitz stares blankly in front of him, taking in something that really shouldn’t be so hard to comprehend.

‘’I…fuck Mills, uh…congrats? Condolences?‘’

Millie laughs, hoarse and joyless. ‘’Thanks, Blitz. Sorry for not telling ya earlier I just…I don’t really know what to do about it yet, so Moxxie and I have been keepin’ it on the down low since sinsmas.’’

She sighs. ‘’It’s…been hard. But you’re my best friend, and you deserve to know, no matter what I do.’’

Blitz feels his heart warm at least a little at that, but he’s in some weird kind of frozen state.

He has absolutely no idea what to say or do or feel for that matter. What does one do with this information? How is she doing? Is something wrong? Does she even want kids? He has never heard her speak of them before…

A slight clearing of the throat makes him turn to Stolas, who’s looking at him with a slightly judgmental look. Blitz shakes his head, signaling that he doesn’t understand where Stolas got that attitude from.

Stolas sighs and rolls his eyes, reaching out his hand for the phone. Blitz gives it to him hesitantly, honestly mostly relieved that he doesn’t have to come up with something to say.

Stolas presses the phone to the side of his head in a posh, fancy kind of way that Blitz has to stifle a giggle.

‘’Hello, Mildred!’’ he says, politely as always. Blitz can immediately hear Millie ask him to call her ‘’Millie’’ on the other end of the line, and Stolas apologizes profusely.

‘’Oh I do apologize, Millie, I didn’t mean to offend.’’ He clears his throat. ‘’I didn’t mean to eavesdrop either, I just…heard you while Blitz was talking and I…’’ he looks up at Blitz ‘’…don’t mean to be rude, but I think I might be more equipped to give you…support surrounding this matter than Blitz is.’’

Blitz’s jaw drops, and he throws his arms out, mouthing ‘’WHAT’’ to Stolas in a very offended manner. Stolas smiles apologetically at him, but his eyes do not look apologetic at all.

Millie says something on the other end of the line, but he can’t hear her. Stolas hums in agreement.

‘’Yes…yes if you’d be okay with that I’d be willing to…yes, I will tell him later, do not worry. Yes, of course.’’

Suddenly he stands up, signaling to Blitz that he’s going to step away for a moment. Blitz rolls his eyes and pouts, but in all honesty he feels a bit relieved.

Sure, it feels shitty that he can’t be there for a friend in need, and sure he does feel a little left out, even if he does not want to admit it. But, he also has to admit that It’s true, what Stolas said.

Millie sounded exhausted on the other end of the line. She needs someone who has been through the same thing, or at least something close to it. He might know what it feels like to have a daughter and to worry as a parent, but he knows next to nothing about pregnancies and babies. He has barely even thought about them, like ever.

Stolas raised Octavia from a baby, and he did it from a young age. If anyone knows about the hardships of parenthood, it would be him.

Blitz breathes in and out, and lays down in the cool grass, looking up at the red, smoggy sky.

Fuck, Millie and Moxxie, parents? He had never thought about it, for some reason.

It’s not that they’ve ever expressed that they didn’t want kids, It’s just…they’ve never expressed that they want them either, so It’s weird suddenly imagining them in that situation. And Millie sounded just as weirded out as he is.

Fuck, was she thinking about terminating the pregnancy? She did say something about not being sure about what to do, but he had been too shocked, too confused. Now that he thinks about it, she didn’t sound happy at all. She just sounded…scared. Tired and scared.

He furrows his brows, seeing the red shades in the sky swirl around each other.

He will support her no matter what decision she makes, of course. No doubt about it. He only hopes that the procedure goes smoothly, if she chooses to abort. Hell’s healthcare system isn’t exactly top notch after all, especially not for imps and hellhounds.

He lays for a while, thinking of Millie, Moxxie, the healthcare system and possible baby names, and then a realization hits him.

He’s not upset.

The thought smacks him so hard in the face that he sits up in pure shock, looking around as if to look at some hidden cameras.

A year ago the news would have broken him. Hell, they would have fucked him up only a few months ago. He would probably have replied with something snarky and defensive, and then went home and cried about it.

Sure, the prospect of a change this big does still scare him a little, but it doesn’t upset him.

The changes that Stolas has managed to conjure up within him are fucking insane, and in such a short timespan as well. He thinks back to the talk he had with Millie after that traumatizing, but successful, hotel mission.

‘’That mean you’re not gonna try to be our third anymore?’’

‘’No. Not anymore.’’

‘’The bird got to you that bad, huh?’’

‘’I guess.’’

He stares at the city in front of him, shaking his head in disbelief.

The bird had really gotten to him.

Only a few months ago, he climbed over Stolas’ balcony and made one of the fattest fucking mistakes of his life. Now he’s sitting here, having spilled his guts to the very same bird he used to avoid eye contact with during sex.

Fuck, life can really throw you for a loop.

He looks over at Stolas, who’s standing a few feet away, talking in a low tone. To his surprise, Stolas is smiling, even laughing now and then.

Blitz can’t help but smile, like the lovesick fucking idiot he is.

He loves seeing Stolas like this, talking on the phone with his best friend, getting along with the people around him, actually being a part of his personal life…

A feeling blooms in his chest, a warm, big feeling that makes his guts twist and the sides of his mouth curl. It feels like torture and the best thing ever simultaneously, and Blitz curls in on himself slightly, pressing his legs to his torso and wrapping his tail around himself like a baby.

He knows this feeling. He knows it so fucking well, and in all honesty he has known it for a while now. It’s really obvious to himself and probably everyone else around him what he is feeling for Stolas, and yet he can’t bring himself to tell him about it. Not yet, at least.

It’s weird, to know how you feel and to know that Stolas is most likely aware as well, and yet… not being able to spit it out.

He takes a shuddering breath, and rests his chin upon his arms.

They just need time. He just needs time. But fuck, if he isn’t impatient.

Blitz sits for a good while, watching the city and fiddling with the grass, buttoning and unbuttoning his shirt, laying down and sitting up…

After what feels like forever, he looks at Stolas, annoyed. How long are they going to talk for? He understands It’s a serious matter that they are discussing, but in all honesty it looks more as if they’re just chatting at this point.

He sighs, laying down in the grass again, throwing an arm over his face.

After a few minutes, he hears footsteps in the grass, and peaks up at the unnecessarily tall bird walking towards him. He smirks, reaching out for his phone. Stolas bends down and gives it to him.

‘’So? How did it go?’’ Blitz asks, beginning to sit up. Stolas reaches out his hand, and Blitz smiles thankfully and grabs it, hoisting himself up.

‘’Oh, it went well, all things considered. Millie was quite shaken up, I believe, but I think…I think my words helped her, at least a little bit.’’

Blitz brushes himself off, smiling up at Stolas. ‘’Yeah? Well, good job.’’ He gives a rather apologetic look. ‘’And thanks for saving me. I love Millie but I had no fucking idea what to say to her.’’

Stolas chuckles, a few bird noises escaping his throat. ‘’I could tell. That’s why I stepped in. Sorry if it was rude of me, I just thought-‘’

‘’No worries, it was a good call. Besides, I’m glad that you get along with her. It’s nice, seeing you with uh…’’ his words die off, but he gathers himself. Stolas deserves to hear it, even if it isn’t a full on confession yet. ‘’…with the other people I love.’’

He looks at Stolas, trying to see if he caught the meaning. He definitely did. The entirety of his face is suddenly flushed red, and he is barely able to hide his smile.

‘’Yes, I imagine…yes.’’ He rambles, looking away. Blitz smiles at him.

‘’Let’s go, birdy.’’

Stolas nods, and reaches out with his talons. Blitz grabs them, and they start walking towards the car.

*

The rest of the weekend progresses as usual.

Stolas is still mostly laying on the couch, with that tired look in his eyes and the tv on low volume in front of him. It does hurt Blitz to see him so down, however, the glazed look is gone, and he actually answers when Blitz is speaking to him now. That improvement alone is enough to at least partially untie the knot in Blitz’s stomach.

Partially.

When Monday rolls around, Blitz is finally instructed to pick both Moxxie and Millie up for work. It’s cramped in the van now that Stolas is with them, but nobody dares complain.

Millie greets everyone as normal, except Stolas. She smiles at him, bigger than ever, and insists on hugging him despite the cramped space in the van.

It’s an awkward ride, considering everything, but Blitz is happier than ever. The whole gang is together, after all, and it feels like a silver lining in the mess he has lived in as of late.

Once they get to the office, Millie clears her throat.

‘’I think…we need to have a meeting.’’ She says, looking around at everyone.

‘’Right.’’ Moxxie agrees, putting a hand on her shoulder.

She smiles at him as Blitz and Stolas gathers closer. Loona remains unmoving at the front desk where she’s situated herself, looking at her phone, but her ears turn towards Millie.

‘’As ya’ll know by now…we have a situation.’’ She says, sighing. Blitz studies her features, realizing that both her, Moxxie and Stolas have matching eyebags and tired eyes.

Should he be more concerned than he already is?

‘’So, we’ll need to rearrange our work roles…at least for a little bit.’’ She puts her hand on her stomach, almost absentmindedly, but immediately removes it again. ‘’I can’t really…fight, like this.’’

‘’Oh no, that would be very dangerous!’’ Stolas agrees. ‘’I’ve read all about imp pregnancies, you know, and-‘’

‘’Stols…not now, kay?’’ Blitz cuts him off, firmly but not unkindly. Stolas shuts his beak immediately, nodding.

‘’My apologies.’’

Millie smiles at him. ‘’No problem…’’ she quirks an eyebrow at Blitz ‘’Stols.’’

Loona gives a snort from the desk and Moxxie snickers in a way that makes Blitz want to smack him down, but he settles for a violent stare and then turns back to Millie.

‘’Well, as your boss I guess It’s my job to…rearrange everything.’’ Blitz says, straightening up a little with pride.

‘’So…let me just think a little here…’’ he looks around, looking carefully at each individual employee.

Moxxie, Millie, Loona…and Stolas.

Satan, Stolas is an employee now. Not on paper, yet, but still.

Shit, does that reinforce some weird power dynamic between them again, except the other way around? No, he decides, they won’t be working together in that way. At IMP everyone is at the same level of importance.

Except for Moxxie.

‘’Uh…Blitz?’’ Stolas asks, snapping Blitz out of his thoughts. He averts his eyes awkwardly, realizing that he has accidentally been staring at Stolas like a fucking creep.

‘’Sorry! Uh…I think I’ve got it.’’ He murmurs, clearing his throat and directing his gaze to Moxxie.

‘’Moxx, you’re on mission duty with me and Loona, is that okay Looney?’’ he looks over his shoulder, receiving a thumbs up from the counter. ‘’Great! Now, Millieee…’’

He smiles at her. She smiles back, awkwardly.

‘’You’ll stay in the office with Stolas.’’ He turns to Stolas, raising his eyebrows. Stolas nods. ‘’Now, there’s two positions here, as you both probably know. There’s managing clients, and doing paperwork. So, I guess It’s your choice how to split the tasks among you. Can you do that?’’

Millie grimaces. ‘’I…no offense, Blitz, but I’d rather die than do paperwork.’’

Blitz opens his mouth to try and settle the matter, but Stolas interrupts him excitedly.

‘’Oh! Oh, I can do it! I love words!’’

Blitz looks at him, a little taken aback at his sudden burst of energy. It feels so fucking good to see it.

‘’Well uh…great! Then we’re settled, right?’’

Everyone nods. There’s a somber feeling in the air, that’s for sure, but it feels a little lighter now that everyone knows what to do.

The morning progresses, with Moxxie trying to teach Stolas the overly complicated sorting system he has come up with in Blitz’s office.

It goes okay for the first five minutes, but then Moxxie somehow manages to discover that Stolas likes musicals, and the whole thing turns into a geeky snoozefest that leaves Blitz, Loona and Millie rolling their eyes and closing the office door behind them.

When ten AM rolls around, Blitz, Moxxie and Loona are getting ready to go on their first mission that week. Blitz sits on the armrest of the couch, reading through the client’s request.

‘’Who are we offing today, sir?’’ Moxxie asks, putting ammunition in several of the guns he will be carrying.

‘’Some bitch called ‘’Bryce’’. A business bitch, it seems.’’ He pouts at Moxxie, making pretend puppy eyes. ‘’A boss, just like me.’’

Moxxie seems unimpressed with his cuteness.

‘’And the client wants her dead because…?’’

‘’Eh, apparently she indirectly caused the death of his family or something, plus insurance fraud, missing out on paying the employees their wages…standard shit.’’

‘’Reminds me of someone I know.’’ Moxxie replies, with only a little venom in his voice.

‘’Who?’’ Blitz asks, blinking at him, Moxxie sighs and shakes his head, loading his rifle.

‘’I’m ready, sir. Should we head out?’’

‘’Finally!’’ Blitz shouts, throwing the paperwork in a pile behind him. ‘’Clean that up for me, will you Mox?’’

Moxxie smirks in a way he doesn’t like at all.

‘’Sorry, sir, no can do. I believe you put Stolas in charge of sorting the paperwork.’’

Blitz stops in his tracks, glancing at the open office door, where he knows Stolas and Millie are sitting. He looks back to Moxxie, who’s wearing an insufferable smug expression on his face, and sighs.

He swallows his pride, gives Moxxie the finger and goes back to pick up the papers.

They portal into a human city that Blitz have been to before; LA. He sighs heavily, despite knowing exactly where they were going, and looks around in the narrow alleyway.

‘’Fuuuuck me, how come we always end up in this shitty hellhole?’’ he complains after stepping right into a puddle of dog piss upon arrival. Moxxie looks around, aiming his gun around before relaxing.

‘’Well, the city has a pretty high crime rate by human standards, which are extremely low in my opinion, so it is only natural that a lot of people-‘’

‘’Shut it, fatty.’’ Loona snarls, turning into her human form in the blink of an eye. Blitz raises his hand to high five her, but she ignores him. ‘’Where are we headed?’’

‘’We got an address, here.’’ Blitz shows her, and she nods, sniffing in the air and grimaces.

Blitz opens his mouth to comment on Loona’s impressive sense of smell, but he’s cut off by a loud, sudden noise from the opening of the alley. They all turn their heads in the direction of the noise, angling their weapons towards it.

‘’What the FUCK!’’ one of the voices exclaim. ‘’Beckyyyy, what IS that? That’s DISGUSTING!’’

Blitz, Moxxie and Loona exchange confused looks. In front of them in the alley are two teenaged girls, evidently drunk out of their minds. They’re both swaying back and forth, looking at the gang as if they were aliens. Which, technically, they kind of are.

‘’Omg, ew Clara!’’ the other girl agrees, pointing at… Loona? ‘’It’s an emo!’’

Loona cocks her gun, and the two girls take some very swaying steps back.

‘’Look, kids, this doesn’t concern you. Find another place to get shitfaced!’’ Blitz yells, hoping to have this shitty mission over with as soon as possible.

‘’They already appear to be shitfaced, sir.’’ Moxxie retorts, so fucking unnecessarily.

Blitz raises his arms, exasperated. ‘’Bring your shitty faces elsewhere, then! You happy now, Mox?’’

Moxxie chuckles. ‘’Very.’’

‘’Fuuuuck, girl they have like, guns. We should go.’’ One of the girls wisely states, despite her clearly less than functioning brain.

‘’Aight.’’ The other one retorts, holding her hands up. ‘’You…you…’’ she burps. ‘’you win.’’

Then they’re gone again, blubbering, burping messes, blending into the rest of the city. Blitz breathes out.

‘’Thank fuck, those could have been trouble.’’

Moxxie and Loona agrees, and after checking that the coast is clear they get going towards their destination.

About mid way, they notice that they might be farther off than they thought, and an argument breaks out. Moxxie blames Blitz, who blames Moxxie back and Loona blames both of them.

Their argument blooms out into a less and less coherent thing, until It’s just pointless teasing.

As they make it through the alleyways, Blitz makes fun of Moxxie’s bowtie, and so Moxxie makes fun of a scar Blitz sustained from a cheese grater one time when he was drunk (which is obviously taking it too far). Because of this, Blitz takes it a step further and makes fun of the way Moxxie walks, which drags Moxxie into bullying territory where he points out that one of Blitzo’s horns are slightly crooked.

‘’Okay, you are NOT equipped to talk horns, Mox. I bet yours didn’t develop past the age of five!’’

Moxxie leers at him while jumping over a trashcan, and then flinches when said trashcan tips over and spills banana peels and trashbags on his foot. He shakes it off with disgust.

‘’That’s simply incorrect, sir. But since we’re on the subject of size, you’re looking very small compared to your boyfriend. Makes you look like a little…a little…red bitch!’’

Blitz scoffs, shaking his head.

‘’Honestly, Mox, if you can’t do insults just don’t. That was weaker than my grandmas fucking knees.’’ He smirks devilishly. ‘’And besides, Stolas may be taller, but I still top him! Unlike you, I bet you ride Millie like a fucking…fucking horse!’’

‘’Shut the fuck up about your horses, Blitz!’’ Loona yells, leagues ahead of them in their current alley. Blitz looks at her, eyes big and hurt.

‘’Hey! When was I demoted from dad?’’

Loona doesn’t answer, she merely growls and continues charging ahead, clearly done with their antics. But Moxxie isn’t done, oh no, far from it. He decides to try and dig even deeper.

‘’You may have topped Stolas, sir, but it seems you’re doing other things with him now, right? Of the non-sexual sort?’’

Blitz gives him a look that can only be interpreted as a warning, but Moxxie is in too deep. He has to be the winner of this pointless argument, it seems.

‘’Your relationship has been looking oddly…domestic lately, hasn’t it?’’

Blitz’s eyes widen, first in exasperated shock, but then in triumph. This is the perfect opening, the perfect way for him to shut Mox right the fuck up, once and for all.

‘’Says YOU!’’ Blitz half shouts, half laughs. ‘’You think me and Stolas are domestic, you literally knocked your wife the fuck up! How did that even happen, considering you’re the one riding her?’’

He smiles to himself, feeling victorious as ever before. He looks forward while moving throught the alley, waiting for a reaction of some kind, for Moxxie to scoff or sneer or mumble, anything really.

But nothing comes. Moxxie is dead silent, and after a few seconds, Blitz glances over at him, confused.

The look on Moxxie’s face says it all. Downturned, strained, hurt.

Fuck, he went too far, too soon. So fucking typical of him.

Shit.

‘’Look, Mox, I fucked up. I’m-‘’

He isn’t able to finish his sentence, because suddenly he has walked right into Loonas’ back, and taken a few, surprised steps backwards.

‘’Fuck, sorry Loonie…why did you stop?’’

‘’Shut up!’’ Loona half growls, half whispers, and bends to cover his mouth, pulling him in behind a heap of broken furniture. Blitz can see in his peripheral vision that Moxxie stops, gasps and hides behind a trashcan as well.

Blitz immediately cocks his gun as quietly as possible, listening intently to whatever might be happening on the street outside the alley. It doesn’t take him long to hear the voices of humans yelling into the narrow alley-space.

‘’Drop those weapons and come out with your hands visible! NOW!’’

Fuck. Human police, the worst kind of steamed pork. He sighs into Loonas hand, and she retracts it, disgusted.

‘’Looney, we’re gonna have to shoot em. We’re cornered.’’ He whispers, earning a long exhale from his daughter.

‘’How? They’ll shoot us on site!’’ she hisses.

‘’Watch and learn.’’ Blitz responds, angling his gun around the heap of trash, careful to ensure that only the tip of it sticks out.

He hopes with all that he has that the officers won’t notice it until It’s too late.

He takes a deep breath, angles the gun in the direction where he last heard the voice and fires. He catches a glimpse of Moxxie, right after the shot fires through the alley.

He looks shocked, scared. Their eyes meet, for just a split second, and then the sound of the gunshot is followed by a scream.

A hit. Better keep shooting to get a head start.

He doesn’t need to say anything. Before he knows it, Loona and Moxxie has stuck their weapons through the rubble as well, shooting like crazy.

The officers are fast, answering with their own shots almost immediately. However, the officers aren’t many, and they weren’t armed for a random mass shooting attack.

Soon, the answering shots stop, and Blitz manages to take a peek in the mirror on his rifle, confirming that all the officers are dead. Three, in total. He breathes out, signaling to Moxxie that all is well.

With shaking legs they all step out from behind their hiding places. The street outside the alley is completely empty. The shots more than likely sent everyone running.

Blitz takes a breath, looking both Loon and Moxxie up and down.

‘’Was anyone hurt? Hit?’’

Loona shakes her head, reloading her gun, jaw tense as it usually is when she’s stressed. Moxxie looks…almost angry, simply stating:

‘’I’m good, sir.’’

Blitz looks at him, a weird feeling churning away in his stomach. He feels like a fucking asshole.

He opens his mouth to try and apologize again, because he has finally learned that apologies are fucking important, but Moxxie interrupts him.

‘’We should probably get going, before more cops arrive. Let’s just…get this job done.’’

Blitz swallows the apology down like a spiked brick. ‘’Oh…you’re uh, you’re right Mox. Let’s go.’’

Loona gives him a weird look as he passes her, but he ignores it. He’ll allow her to think he is a little pussy that follows whatever Moxxie says, If just this once.

They continue making their way to the building where Bryce is supposed to work, and finally reaches their destination.

Tired, grumpy, wanted by the police and with half the bullets they arrived with, they all make their way inside, not even trying to hide anymore.

Anyone who questions them gets a gun waved in their face, and soon enough they find a ‘’willing volunteer’’ who can show them where Bryce’s office is located.

The mission would have been easy and successful, over in a jif…if it wasn’t for the fact that they had committed a mass shooting of police officers the moment before.

Twenty paces away from Bryce’s office, the hall they’re in is suddenly flooded with FBI agents and weapons and chaos.

Before they can react in any way, their weapons have been taken and the hallway is filled with thick gas that makes them pass out in the matter of seconds.

Blitz’s last coherent thought before hitting the ground is how fucking pissed he is that they just bought new equipment, and that it has all gone to waste.

Notes:

Hi!

I just wanted to pop in quickly to say how excited I am by the prospects of Stolas and Millie bonding over having parenthood thrust upon them and becoming good friends and stuff.

Anyway, go enjoy the next chapter. Bye!

 

PS. See what I did there with Bryce? Hehe

Chapter 4: Two conversations and a cheap cup of tea

Millie is sinking further and further into the office chair by the counter.

It’s only been a few hours, but she’s already so dang tired of being a stupid receptionist. On top of it all, she’s nauseous. It has worn off since the morning, but It’s still enough to be a distracting nuisance.

She looks down at her stomach, patting it awkwardly.

It doesn’t look any different, not yet anyway. Still, she feels bloated, as if she’s eaten something she shouldn’t have. She sighs, sinking even further down into the chair.

Talking to Stolas had, surprisingly, helped a lot. She always knew he had a daughter, but had never really thought about what that meant. It wasn’t until he told her about his life, being brought up in a fancy mansion with everything arranged neatly around him that the pieces fell together for her.

Everything had been laid out for him, his purpose, his life, his future. She would have gone crazy, had she been in the same position. He grew up in a cage. No matter how decorated, comfortable and luxurious it might have seemed, it was still a cage.

It is plain as day that Stolas loves his daughter, and that she means the world to him. But, he didn’t choose to have her. Despite his unconditional love for her, it was hard for him to become a dad at such a young age, to try and give her stability that he had never been given himself.

Millie admires that about him, now that he’s told her about it. And she is thankful that he did.

There is a difficult, almost impossible choice in front of her, and she knows it will hurt no matter what she chooses. However, listening to Stolas’ story of how he raised his daughter made her feel thankful.

Yes, the choice in front of her is hard and yes, it fucking sucks. However she’s so grateful and happy that she has the choice, and that she can make a decision based on how she’s feeling, with a myriad of friends and family behind her to support her.

She looks over at the open door to Blitz’s office. She can hear Stolas humming from the inside, and smiles slightly.

She never really understood what Blitz saw in the big bird. To her he was just a tall, rich asshole like any other Goetia. She could always tell that Blitz liked him, though.

She has to laugh a little to herself, thinking about her stupid best friend. He always puts on such a tough face, not letting anything phase him. However, some things do phase him, and when they do It’s usually quite obvious.

At first, he had simply been smug over his possession of the book, and clearly viewed Stolas as nothing but a hurdle to get over. But then, as time went on she noticed that he begun to care, despite clearly trying to hide it and mask it behind that smug, know-it-all mask he usually puts on.

But Millie saw right through him, at least for the most part. She and him clicked well from the very start, and she’d at least like to think that she could read him easier than others. That’s why she never got mad like Moxxie did when he broke into their house, or spied on them on dates.

She didn’t exactly appreciate the invasion of privcacy, of course, but she’s also always known that it comes from a place of hurt and lack of stability.

To see Blitz now, openly expressing his feelings both towards her, Moxxie and Stolas makes her very happy. It’s refreshing to see him take a chance and chase happiness for once, instead of running from it.

Blitz’s increasingly obvious feelings for Stolas has also landed her a new perspective of the owl as well. Between him risking his life for Blitz, beating up a Goetia despite being powerless, and talking to her over the phone about Octavia despite it being extremely painful for him at the moment… she is really beginning to see what Blitz sees in him.

Her wandering thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the slamming of the door, and she straightens up, hand ready on the knife in her pocket. She stares at the person in the doorway, a short sinner with pig-like features.

‘’H-hello!’’ he exclaims, almost running towards the desk. Millie extracts the knife, pushing it up her sleeve.

‘’Hi.’’ She responds, raising her eyebrows. The sinner looks stressed and scared, but until she knows why she can’t trust him. ‘’You got an appointment?’’

He reaches the desk, but makes no move to harm her. Instead, he leans against the counter, panting heavily. Has he run all the way here?

‘’No…no, sorry.’’ He pants. ‘’I…I requested a uhm…murder to…to take place today. Is it done yet?’’

He looks up at her in her chair, eyes wide with panic. She sighs, slipping the knife back into her pocket.

‘’Dunno, they’re on the job right now. What about it?’’

The sinner swallows, breathing slowing down just a bit. ‘’I…I want to cancel my uh…my order? Is that possible.’’

Millie shakes her head. ‘’Afraid not, pal. Your target may already be dead, for all I know.’’

The sinner looks around, as if someone is out to get him.

‘’No, no…fuck, I can’t let her get here!’’

Millie raises her eyebrows, beginning to grow a little concerned. If some lunatic is following this guy he cannot be lead into the office. She’d never hear the end of it from Moxxie if she got into a fight while pregnant.

She stands up in the chair, looming over the sweating guy. ‘’Is someone following you? Did anyone follow you here?’’

The sinner takes a step back, still sweating profusely.

‘’No! Not that I know of I just…shit.’’ He lowers his shoulders. ‘’I wanted my target dead out of revenge and spite. I had just died, so-‘’

‘’Sorry, but could we maybe…skip the personal story? No offense, just…try to get to the point will ya?’’

The sinner nods, face growing red. ‘’Sorry! Sorry, you’re right, I…’’ he takes a deep breath, and starts over. ‘’My target is my ex boss, and I uh…I wanted her dead. I just didn’t think of the fact that she would end up here after death! I don’t know how I could be so dumb, I mean that skank would never go to heaven!’’ He shakes his head, grabbing the edge of the desk until his knuckles whiten. ‘’She’ll end up right down here with me, torturing me for eternity…’’

Millie looks at him, almost feeling sorry for the guy. ‘’I don’t know if this will help…but she will end up here eventually anyway.’’

The guy shakes his head. ‘’I…I know, but if she dies of other reasons she probably won’t care about finding me. But if she finds out I had her killed…’’ he shakes his head. ‘’she’ll make the rest of my afterlife worse than hell. And she’ll know…she always knows…’’ he sinks down towards the floor, turning into a shaking pile on the carpet.

Millie sits down in her chair, rolling her eyes. She does feel a bit sorry for the guy, but at the same time he only has himself to blame. This shouldn’t be her fucking problem right now.

She sighs, resting her head against the chair.

‘’Listen…I’ll call and ask whether the job is done or not, and then I’ll call and let ya know, alright?’’

The sinner immediately bounces up from the floor, relief flooding his eyes and snot running from his nose. She looks him up and down, disgusted.

‘’Really?’’

‘’Yeah, but there ain’t no guarantee that she ain’t dead already.’’ She raises her eyebrows, remembering the policy that Blitz put in place. ‘’And if the job isn’t yet done, you’ll have to pay us double the original price for us to cancel. For wasted time and supplies, that is.’’

The sinner immediately looks a little less excited, but nods in agreement. ‘’I’ll do it! Just…call as soon as possible, and let me know as soon as you-‘’

He is cut off by the ringing of the telephone on the desk, and they both stare at it, then at each other.

‘’Scuse me.’’ Millie says, picking up the phone. ‘’Hello, I.M.P?’’

‘’Mills!’’ a very broken voice croaks on the other side of the phone. It sounds like It’s calling her through a foil covered potato.

‘’Blitz?’’ she replies, genuinely having trouble making him out. The sinner looks at her hopefully, but she simply waves her hand at him to leave, mouthing ‘’I’ll call’’. He turns away and leaves reluctantly.

‘’Yes! I uhm, don’t have a lot of time. We’re kind of…on the run at the moment. From the FBI.’’

Millie takes a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling as the door closes behind the client.

‘’And why haven’t you portaled back?’’

A different voice can be heard, clearing It’s throat before speaking.

‘’Well, you see honey, his…uhm, the crystal is…’’

‘’Jeez, spit it out Mox! We’re all handcuffed and we got no tools or weapons, and we can’t fucking…get em off! So uh, one of us just has to wriggle out of these and uh…shit, Mox careful!’’

Millie frowns. ‘’Moxxie can’t get out of em?’’

‘’None of us can!’’ she hears Loona’s annoyed voice call in the background. The phone must be on speaker.

Millie sighs. ‘’Alright. Well, I just want to ask you before I go…did you kill the target?’’

The silence on the other end of the line tells her enough, so she quickly adds:

‘’It’s a good thing if ya haven’t.’’

‘’Oooh, okay, well no. We fucked up. The FBI got us before we could get her.’’ Blitz admits, clearing his throat and adding. ‘’Why is it a good thing?’’

‘’Client cancelled, he’ll pay us double if we keep her alive.’’

‘’Fuck yes! I guess this mission wasn’t a total waste after all, right Mox?’’

Moxxie sighs. ‘’Right, sir.’’

Millie furrows her eyebrows. He sounds a little mopey, like he usually does when someone has dunked on something he likes or mocked his bowtie. She’ll have to ask him about it when they get back.

‘’Well…you’ll be okay, then?’’ she asks, letting some of her worry shine through. Blitz makes a ‘’Pshh’’ sound on the other end of the line.

‘’We’ll be just fine, Mills, we’ll be back before you know it!’’ he clears his throat. ‘’We gotta go but…uh, how is Stolas?’’

Millie lets out a laugh through her nose. ‘’He’s fine, Blitz.’’

‘’Good.’’ Blitz replies. ‘’Then…see ya!’’

The line goes silent. She hangs up, shaking her head. She’s relieved they seem to know what they’re doing, but still, she can’t help but worry at least a little bit. And also wonder about things, like how the hell they managed to call her while handcuffed, and where the hell they might be hiding seeing as they’re on the run.

She scoffs.

Wanted by the FBI. They really aren’t setting future missions up to be easy. They’ll have to get ahold of some disguises, somehow.

She hears footsteps from Blitz’s office, and turns around to see Stolas peeking out at her, looking rather worn and awkward as he always does.

‘’Hello… I do not mean to pry, but I heard you were talking to someone on the phone.’’ He smiles apologetically. ‘’Was it…a client, or…?’’

Millie smiles at him. ‘’Nah, it was the rest of the gang. The mission went…’’ she grimaces. ‘’…a little askew, but it all worked out in the end. They’re all handcuffed at the moment, apparently, but they told me they’d make it home soon, so don’t you worry.’’

Stolas breathes out, and looks a little less miserable. His eyebags have gotten slightly better, she notices. Meanwhile, hers have only gotten worse. She sighs, standing up from the chair, stretching.

‘’Wanna take break?’’

Stolas nods. ‘’Yes, please. I’m afraid I have no more documents to sort, anyway.’’

She stares at him. ‘’Really? Nothing? Not even the uh…the drawer?’’

Stolas makes a face that tells her exactly how much he saw of that drawer.

‘’No…that one is sorted as well.’’ He states, earning a sympathetic look from Millie.

Millie calls a nearby coffee place and orders them both some tea, warning Stolas beforehand that It’s probably way worse than the tea he has previously been drinking in his life. He insists he does not mind, but when the tea arrives in two to-go coffee cups, he suddenly looks very concerned.

They sit on the sofa as he tries it, and he makes a face that is so concerned and disgusted at the same time that is makes Millie burst into laughter.

‘’Sorry, Stolas, I just…’’ she laughs, wiping tears away. ‘’your face!’’

Stolas actually gives a few hoots himself, looking into the brownish liquid inside his paper cup.

‘’I apologize, I don’t mean to be rude I just…do you normally drink from paper cups? I… was not aware such a thing existed.’’

Millie laughs some more, and looks at him, smiling.

‘’Really?’’

Stolas smiles, warming his talons on the cup. ‘’Really.’’ He looks at Millie. ‘’Thank you, for the tea. I’ll pay you back as soon as I get my first paycheck.’’

She shakes her head. ‘’Don’t bother, big bird. It’s not that expensive.’’ She touches him gently with her elbow. ‘’See it as a kind gesture between coworkers.’’

Stolas eyes lit up slightly at that.

‘’Coworkers? I haven’t had those before.’’

‘’Well now you do.’’ Millie replies. ‘’You know…It’s nice to have ya here. I know it might not be…the ideal situation for ya but for the record, I think you’re handling it like a champ!’’

Stolas laughs quietly. ‘’Thank you. I’m…certainly handling it better now than I did at first.’’ He looks down into his cup, raising it to his beak and tasting a bit, clearly trying to mask his distaste.

‘’I wanted to ask you… are they always like that? On missions, I mean? Getting stuck in dangerous situations and what not?’’

Millie laughs. ‘’Yeah. It’s a killin’ business, so It’s to be expected.’’ She looks at him, studying his features. She realizes she’s never really seen them up close like this, not since Striker.

‘’You’ve also been in your fair share of situations. How uhm…how is your shoulder? Did it heal properly?’’

Stolas looks at her, surprised, then he pulls at the neck of his shirt, pulling It’s shoulder down to reveal a scar. She peeks at it, nodding.

‘’I’m so glad we could save you that day. I know that…we don’t know each other that well but you’ve saved us and we’ve saved you.’’ She smiles up at him. ‘’That definitely counts for somethin’.’’

Stolas pulls up the shirt again, smiling back. ‘’Thank you, Millie. For…making me feel like I’m one of you, even though it must feel…strange, to have me here.’’

‘’If I’m bein’ honest, It’s a relief.’’ She sighs, patting her stomach. She’s so tired of thinking of this shit, but It’s nice to have someone to talk to that isn’t your stuttering, dumbass best friend or your worried sick husband.

‘’It’s nice having someone to talk to and…It’s nice to not be alone her while the others are gone.’’ She shrugs. ‘’I don’t know why, but when I’m on missions…I feel invincible, and it makes me feel like the others are invincible too. So when I’m not there… I don’t know, I just get worried, I guess.’’

‘’You’re from wrath, right?’’

Millie nods. ‘’Yeah. My folks have a little farm out on the countryside, close to the harvest moon festival.’’ She nudges him. ‘’That’s a place I know you’ve been, at least.’’

Stolas hoots in delight, nodding. ‘’Oh, yes! I always did find it cozy there.’’

Millie laughs. ‘’I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone call the wrath ring cozy before, but I’m glad you liked it there. It’s usually…kind of violent.’’

Stolas leans back a bit on the sofa, peering at her curiously. ‘’Is that why you are so used to it?’’ he blushes slightly. ‘’I do not mean to pry, I just…you seem very skilled.’’

Millie smiles, genuinely. ‘’Thank you, Stolas. I learned early from my Ma and Pa. It’s…sort of expected of wrath imps to either be assassins or farmers, so I chose assassin.’’

‘’Is that how you joined the I.M.P?’’

‘’Blitz hired me.’’ Millie agrees, nodding. ‘’He wouldn’t take no for an answer.’’

Stolas snickers, almost like a schoolgirl, and it makes Millie happy to hear. ‘’How very like him.’’

‘’Yes.’’ Millie answers, sighing and putting her empty cup on the armrest beside her. ‘’But…that’s why I’m so worried about this, you see?’’ she gestures towards her stomach.

‘’This life I’m livin’…can I really bring a child into all of that? I mean both me and Mox are assassins. We could die at any time during work! I don’t…’’

She takes a deep breath. ‘’I just don’t want to put a child into this world, just to make it an orphan, you know?’’

She looks at Stolas, who is piercing her with those white, sad pupils of his, and she looks away again, shaking her head.

‘’Sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all of that on you.’’

‘’No! No, please, you can tell me anything. I’m here to listen.’’ He reassures her, awkwardly putting a hand on her shoulder. ‘’As I said in our phone call I don’t have all the answers, and I can’t know exactly what you’re going through but…I’m a father, no matter what. And I’m here to listen.’’

She takes a shaking breath, nodding and putting her hand over his, squeezing slightly.

‘’Thank you. That…it means a lot.’’

He lets go of her shoulder, sitting back in that polite, posh way of his, waiting for her to speak. She gathers herself for a moment.

‘’I…I think I’m also scared of losing myself, you know? People always change so much when they have children and…I don’t want to change.’’ She shakes her head. ‘’I like fightin’, It’s a big part of my life. If I have a kid I might have to quit, and I just…I can’t stand that thought. If I don’t fight then…who am I?’’

She looks up at him, as if he will have the answer, but he doesn’t. He does, however, have warm, red eyes that seem to look right through her. They seem to understand in a way no one else does, and It’s strangely comforting.

‘’You are right.’’ Stolas replies, in that soft, melodramatic way he usually speaks. ‘’Having a child changes you…a lot. It rearranges your priorities completely. Suddenly it seems like the world revolves around your child, even if you thought it wouldn’t.’’ he smiles. ‘’But…you only lose yourself if you let yourself do so. If anything, becoming a parent can teach you new things about yourself that you might not have known otherwise.’’

He looks at her. ‘’As for your career and fighting…I believe you can continue to do so, in due time. You might have to take on missions that are less dangerous, but so will Moxxie. You’ll make the change together, ideally.’’ He blushes slightly, shifting position.

‘’Again I…don’t mean to pry but…have you talked to your husband about these thoughts?’’

Millie looks down at her legs, a bit ashamed. ‘’No…I suppose I haven’t.’’

Stolas nods, matter-of-factly. ‘’I think you should. I don’t know him very well, but he seems to care very deeply for you. I’m sure he would understand.’’

Millie laughs, feeling her cheeks bloom. ‘’Yes, he…he’s very supportive. But, I think that’s what makes it so hard – he always just goes along with what I say. Sometimes I wonder if he doesn’t dare to speak his mind. I mean, ultimately this is my decision, but I would like to hear his input now and then, you know? It’s his kid too!’’

Stolas hoots in agreement. ‘’Very much so.’’

Millie looks at him, wondering if the question she’s thinking of is too touchy to ask. But, fuck it, she asks anyway. Blitz told her the other day that something about this bird just makes you want to spill all your guts, and she can definitely see what he means.

‘’I’m sorry if this is a touchy subject but…Octavia’s mother…is she there for her at all?’’

Stolas immediately shrinks a bit, and regret stings in her chest. Shit.

‘’I’m sorry, Stolas, you don’t need to-‘’

‘’She’s always been…there, yes.’’ He says, nodding to himself and putting down the tea paper mug on the ground in front of him.

The tea must have gone cold by now.

‘’Octavia has always loved her and looked up to her, and she has been a good mother to her.’’ He sighs.

‘’But…Stella didn’t want children. I didn’t either, not with her but…I don’t think Stella wanted them at all. I’m not trying to say that she’s a bad mother, or that she dislikes Via, not at all. I just…I don’t think Via is her top priority. Not anymore, anyway.’’ He breathes in, a shaky, frail breath. ‘’I think…I think she hates me more than she loves her, sometimes. And that scares me, thinking that Via is stuck with those…those…’’

His voice dies out, and he leans down, elbows resting on his knees. Millie looks at him sorrowfully, only hesitating a moment before scooting closer and patting his back.

‘’I’m sure she’s fine. I don’t think they would hurt her, even if what you say is true.’’

Stolas shrugs. ‘’If it meant getting back at me…I’m not sure what lengths those damn siblings would go to.’’

Millie strokes her hand in circles on his back, and he glances at her briefly before leaning into her slightly, resting his arm against her head.

‘’I suppose…that’s another thing you must think of if you choose to have the child.’’ He says quietly after a moment of collecting himself. ‘’You have something to lose that’s more important than your own life.’’

Millie nods, hand stilling on his back.

‘’Loving someone also gives you more to lose.’’ She states. ‘’And I would never in a million years regret loving Moxxie.’’ She leans back and looks at him, smiling. ‘’I’m willing to bet you don’t regret saving Blitz?’’

Stolas’ face immediately flushes a bit, and he smiles, a small weak smile.

‘’Never. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.’’

Millie’s smile widens, and she nods. ‘’Good.’’ She straightens up slightly, and so does he.

‘’Speaking of Blitz, I owe you another thank you for softening him up.’’ She laughs. ‘’I love him but damn, he can be a bit… stubborn, sometimes.’’

Stolas chuckles. ‘’Tell me about it.’’

Millie smiles ‘’You know, this isn’t really my place to tell you, but… he was really torn up when you two ‘’broke up’’, but now he seems really happy. I’ve never seen him like this before.’’

Stolas looks at her, his eyes almost comically round and his face flushed like an apricot. She giggles at him.

‘’I…I didn’t know that.’’ He replies, and Millie decides that the happiness in his voice made betraying Blitz a hundred percent worth it.

*
Blitz sighs.

The handcuffs are almost off. Almost.

His wrists are sore from trying to get them off. They’ve each been able to retrieve a bobby pin from Loona’s back pocket, but picking the FBI’s handcuff locks aren’t exactly the easiest thing to do. Rubbing on the crystal doesn’t do them any good either since Blitz’s left handcuff has slipped down and gotten stuck on it. It was pure luck that Moxxie’s phone had fallen out of his pocket so that one of them could bend down enough to call the office.

Moxxie seems to have given up on removing his cuffs, laying down on the floor of the empty dumpster, sulking, bobby pin still in hand. Loona is still trying to get hers off, but she has stopped banging them against the dumpster wall.

She’s stuck in her human form, since her transforming with the handcuffs on would likely hurt her wrists.

Blitz leans back, his head thudding slightly against the wall of the dumpster. They’re all pissed, and no one is actually really trying anymore. They need to be done with this shit and go home before they’re found again, but they won’t get anywhere unless the team spirit kicks back in gear.

He closes his eyes, stopping his jerky movements. He’s not good with words, but an apology is needed, both because they need to get a move on but also because Moxxie deserves it. Blitz overstepped a line, and there’s nothing else to do but fess up. So, he clears his throat.

‘’So uh…Mox?’’

Moxxie doesn’t move, but Blitz knows he can hear him, so he continues.

‘’I just…I’m sorry, okay? About earlier. I shouldn’t have said what I said about Millie.’’

Moxxie’s shoulders tense a bit and he folds in on himself further. Blitz swallows.

‘’I know you guys are going through something…really fucking hard right now, and that I shouldn’t be teasing you about it. I’m sorry, I…I was a fucking idiot. I didn’t think.’’

Moxxie is quiet for a moment, his limbs loosening up slightly. Then he sighs and makes it onto his knees with some effort, looking at Blitz.

‘’It’s very unlike you to apologize so easily, sir.’’ He comments with that sassy little attitude of his. Blitz bites back a remark, and instead nods in assent.

‘’Yeah, no, you’re right. I’ve turned into a huge fucking softie, I admit it.’’

A devious smile creeps into Moxxie’s features, and he quirks an eyebrow.

‘’Oh, really? Domestic life got you that bad, huh? Never thought I’d see you so submissive.’’ His smile widens, clearly expecting Blitz to react with anger. But Blitz doesn’t really react. To his own surprise, the words don’t bother him. Instead he shrugs.

‘’Yeah, I guess.’’ He smirks. ‘’I guess someone finally grounded me, for once.’’

Moxxie’s smirk is wiped right off his face, and Blitz would be lying if he said it wasn’t a little satisfying to see.

‘’Sir?’’ he inquires, looking Blitz up and down. ‘’Are you like…a clone?’’

‘’I’ve been wondering that shit too.’’ Loona chimes in. She’s sitting down crossed legged with her hands still behind her back. They’re moving slightly, hinting that she’s still trying to get the handcuffs off, but in a less aggressive way.

‘’He’s been acting like a fucking sappy sack, ever since Stolas came along. I’ve never seen a bigger simp.’’ She grimaces at Moxxie, who nearly loses balance while sitting on his knees. ‘’Except for you, fuckwad.’’

Moxxie gives her a look, but quickly turns back to Blitz.

‘’Really? Nothing?’’

Blitz shakes his head, genuinely apologetic. ‘’No, sorry Mox. You’re just…right, this time.’’

Moxxie shakes his head, almost in disbelief. ‘’What parallel universe is this?’’

‘’One where your boss is a fucking wimp.’’

Moxxie stares with empty eyes in front of him for a moment, taking it all in. Then he sighs, and nods, once again focusing on Blitz.

‘’Alright, then. I guess…I forgive you, Blitz.’’

Blitz rolls his eyes from the theatrics of it all, but smiles.

‘’Thank you, Moxxie.’’

Moxxie nods, stretching himself uncomfortably. ‘’We should really work on getting these off.’’

‘’What do you think I’ve been doing, slow ass?’’ Loona snaps. ‘’I’m pretty sure my fucking wrists are bleeding at this point!’’

‘’Awwe, Looney. I’ll bandage it when we get home.’’ Blitz says, looking at her with sympathy.

She rolls her eyes.

‘’I’m not a baby, dad.’’

A warm feeling spreads in Blitz’s chest, and he smiles at her, eyes gleaming. She growls at him, and Blitz turns to Moxxie, only to find him staring in what looks like wonder. He quirks an eyebrow, and Moxxie turns away, flushing slightly.

‘’What?’’ Blitz asks, genuinely confused. Moxxie shakes his head.

‘’Nothing, sir.’’

‘’Blitz.’’ Blitz corrects him, sitting down into a more comfortable position before starting to tug at his handcuffs again. ‘’And It’s something, I can see it.’’

Moxxie sighs, clearly fed up with him. He falls back on his ass and starts picking at his handcuffs as well.

‘’I just…It’s Millie and I’s situation, okay? Nothing more.’’

Blitz looks at him for a moment, hesitating before asking:

‘’You…wanna talk about it?’’

Moxxie eyes him suspiciously. ‘’With you? Right now?’’

Blitz shrugs, perfectly aware that this is completely out of character for him. ‘’Sure!’’

Moxxie contemplates it for a moment, continuously picking at his lock. ‘’I mean…sure.’’ He sighs, looking in any other direction than Blitz and Loona, which is rather hard considering the cramped, dark space they’re in.

‘’I…It’s been hard, you know? Watching Millie go through something that I caused, not being able to help her in any way other than supporting her… I can’t even fully understand what she is going through, and I never will.’’ He takes a deep breath. ‘’And it fucking sucks, because I want to be able to…to carry all her pain, to share it with her. But…I can’t.’’

There is silence in the dumpster now. Even the sound of picking locks have stopped. Then Blitz takes a deep breath of his own, gathering his words. They have never been his strong suit. In fact, he has fucked up more than he hasn’t when it comes to words. But he wants to get better.

‘’I…obviously I don’t understand how you feel, I mean…It’s not like Stolas can get…you know…’’

He trails off, cursing himself and gathering his thoughts again.

‘’Anyway, I’m just trying to say…Stolas is in pretty rough shape right now. He’s getting better but, he can’t see his daughter and uh, that fucking sucks, obviously. And I…I can only support him too, you know? I can’t fully understand what he’s going through, but hopefully I can help him through it. Sometimes…I mean I’m no fucking expert but, I think that sometimes that’s the best you can do for someone. To just…be there.’’

He clears his throat, seeing both Loona and Moxxie staring at him.

‘’Or whatever.’’

Loona shakes her head. ‘’Who are you?’’

‘’My thoughts exactly!’’ Moxxie agrees, shaking his head. ‘’Not that I’m not thankful, Blitz, I am I just… this is so unlike you!’’

Blitz scoffs, but gives him a smile. ‘’Better get used to it.’’

Loona shakes her head again, rougher this time. ‘’Nooo, what happened to you? You’re so fucking sappy, you used to be so badass!’’

‘’Awwe, Looney Tooney-‘’ Blitz begins, but she growls at him and he stops.

‘’Do you…really think I’m badass?’’ Moxxie asks, with way too much hope in his voice as usual. Loona laughs.

‘’No, not you, fatass.’’

Moxxie sighs. ‘’Of course.’’

Right after, a click can be heard and they all look up at each other in awe. One of Moxxie’s handcuffs falls off his wrist, and he stretches his hand, staring at it.

‘’Mox!’’ Blitz shouts happily. ‘’You fucking did it!’’ he grins widely at him, making Moxxie flush and look away with a smile on his lips.

‘’I gotta say, out of the three of us I feel like you were the least likely to figure this out! You’re really beating those odds, huh?’’

The smile disappears and is replaced with a scowl.

Moxxie manages to pick Blitz and Loona’s locks, and they finally manage to rub the crystal and get back to the office. They all practically trip over each other to get back, and end up in a relieved pile on the office floor.

Blitz closes the portal as fast as possible behind them, as not to risk any officers finding it and thinking of following them. He sighs in relief as it disappears, and is close to kissing the carpet out of relief.

‘’Good job, gang!’’ he calls out, reaching his arm out to high five Moxxie, who does so dispassionately.

‘’Moxxie!’’ a voice calls out from over by the sofa, and fast footsteps are heard on the floor. Blitz looks up to see Millie, smiling at them and leaning down to swoop Moxxie into her arms. ‘’I was beginning to get worried!’’

Blitz stands up, and rubs his wrist where the handcuff is still dangling.

‘’There’s no need to worry, Mills. We’re I.M.P! We can do anything.’’

She smiles at him, pointing towards the couch behind him.

‘’Someone is waiting for you, Blitz.’’

Blitz turns around, immediately locking eyes with Stolas. His pupils are big and fixated on him. His feathers look incredibly soft in the shitty office light and he’s smiling.

Fuck, Blitz’s heart might as well just melt away into a useless puddle at this point.

‘’Welcome back, darling.’’ Stolas says, a blush spreading across his cheeks at the word. Still, he looks at Blitz, eyes searching for a reaction.

Blitz smiles widely, opening his mouth to say something, but he has reached his word limit for the day and they fail him. Instead he steps forward and hugs his bird, just to cement how extremely fucking okay he is with this right now.

Chapter 5: Confessions

Notes:

Fun fact! The title of this chapter is a reference to an earlier Helluva fic I wrote back when Full moon came out!

The week continues to roll by, and to Blitz’s relief Stolas seems to be feeling better. He has shopped together with him again and has gained a better understanding of the washer and dryer at the laundromat now.

Blitz gave him the instruction manual for it, mostly as a joke, but Stolas devoured it in under an hour, and then he actually managed to use it without much help.

He still cries at least once a day, however. Sometimes It’s over trivial things like not being able to cook or a dropped glass, but most often It’s over Octavia.

He misses her more than he misses anything else, it is extremely plain to see.

However, despite the fact that it pains Blitz to see Stolas cry and be sad, it does feel great to be able to comfort him.

Before it felt hopeless.

Stolas would just lay on the couch, moping and frankly hating life. Blitz had feared for his safety, scared that he was going to do something drastic.

Now it feels more…normal. He can’t tell if It’s because of their talks, or if It’s Stolas’ newfound friendship with Millie, or maybe both. Either way It’s a huge relief to see him sitting up, talking, laughing…

He still tries to call Via, at least twice a day. And despite the crushing wave of despair that hits him every it turns out she still has him blocked, Blitz is somewhat able to pull him out of that wave.

He doesn’t distract him, that shit is useless, and he knows that better than anyone else. His whole miserable life has been a distraction. No, instead he helps Stolas face his feelings head on, to talk about them or just cry until things feel a bit better.

If there’s any sappy, shitty lesson Blitz has learned during this stage of his life, it’s that the shit that hurts the most must be grabbed by the dick and dealt with. If it isn’t, it just grows and morphs into an ugly monster, and that monster will push everyone around you away.

Stolas doesn’t deserve that treatment, he deserves to be loved and cared for, and to heal properly, no matter how fucking cringey that sounds.

So, Stolas is currently wrapped in one of Blitz’s horse blankets on the sofa, eyes still puffy from crying. He’s looking at the tv, but his eyes are empty, clearly not seeing what’s on screen.

Blitz clears his throat. He has something to show Stolas that he had planned on showing him upon arrival, but he had come home to Stolas hysterically crying and trying to call Via, so he had to prioritize stabilizing Stolas somewhat first.

‘’So…I uh, I got you something, Stolas.’’ He says carefully, nudging him a little in the side. Stolas slowly turns his head from the tv, and those tiny, white pupils meet his own.

‘’Oh…you shouldn’t have.’’

‘’Yes, I should. I would have gotten them sooner, had you asked.’’ He bends down behind the sofa, rummaging through the small, plastic shopping bag he brought home earlier.

It takes some sifting through groceries that he hasn’t yet unpacked, but then he finds it. A tiny bottle of pills, nearly identical to the ones that were given to him by Via.

Blitz hands it to Stolas, who looks at it with confusion for a second. Then his eyes widen in surprise, and he looks up at Blitz.

‘’What…my- how did you-?’’

‘’Ahh, I have a few contacts. These aren’t like, hard drugs or anything so they’re easy as shit to get ahold of.’’ He tilts his head slightly to the side, scanning Stolas’ features.

‘’I hope you don’t feel like I’m…invading anything. You haven’t told me about the pills, and you don’t have to. I just…noticed that the ones you got from Via was running out, so…’’

Stolas looks at him in a way he has never seen before, eyes full of something he can’t quite place. Blitz swallows, expecting him to cry or scream or…something.

Instead, Stolas simply leans forward and kisses him, taking him by surprise just as he did that sinsmas day outside of the mansion.

Blitz inhales through his nose, feeling warmth bloom through his face. Then he closes his eyes, putting his hand on Stolas’ cheek.

It feels as if his insides are going to fuckin explode, and his stomach is churning as if he’s just ate a giant tub of lard. Somehow, he always thought the expression ‘’butterflies in your stomach’’ was bullshit, that it was made up by poetic, wimpy people like Moxxie.

But now… fuck, he hasn’t felt like this since he was a kid, since…

Stolas opens his beak, and Blitz feels his tongue graze his lips. He opens his own mouth slightly, but stops himself. He pulls away, taking a deep breath.

He doesn’t want to stop, he really doesn’t. But he has to.

He opens his eyes, and watches Stolas do the same. Their eyes meet, and Blitz is quick to smile reassuringly. But, it doesn’t help. Stolas’ face crumbles like a fall leaf, and tears rise in his eyes.

‘’Oh, Satan! I’m…I’m so, so sorry Blitz I didn’t mean to-‘’

‘’Woah, woah!’’ Blitz interrupts him, putting his hand softly on his arm. ‘’Stolas, I’m okay. You haven’t ruined anything, okay?’’ he swallows, slowly stroking Stolas’ arm in an attempt to soothe him.

Stolas sniffles, shaking his head as a tear escapes his eye. ‘’But I…I shouldn’t have, I should have asked, I…I’m sorry.’’

Blitz looks at him, wondering how in the seven rings of hell he’s going to explain to Stolas how fucking happy he just made him. He reaches up, and carefully strokes away Stolas’ tears.

‘’Do you…wanna talk about it over a cup of tea?’’ he asks carefully. Stolas makes a face, and Blitz laughs, adding: ‘’Not the kind you drank with Millie, a better kind. Might not be as good as what you’re used to, but-‘’

‘’That would be nice.’’ Stolas assures him, smiling slightly. ‘’Thank you.’’

A few minutes later, they’re both snuggled up in each end of the sofa, watching trash tv without actually watching it.

Stolas takes a careful sip of his tea, clearly prepared for it to taste horrendous, but his eyes widen in surprise instead.

‘’This…is actually quite nice.’’ He says, a faint blush covering his features.

‘’Yeah?’’ Blitz replies, realizing that he’s grinning like an idiot. ‘’I’m glad you liked it.’’

Stolas smiles back, but Blitz can see that he’s nervous. Blitz is nervous too, he can’t even lie. He breathes in the scent of his tea, sipping carefully.

‘’So…about the kiss.’’ He says.

‘’Yes?’’ Stolas asks, his voice full of anxiety.

‘’I liked it, so uh…you don’t have to worry. About doing it again, I mean, you can kiss me whenever you want.’’

He swallows, feeling like a dumb fucking teenager again. Satan, at his grown age…

‘’I’m bad at words, you know this, but uh…fuck how do I say this…I want to kiss you again. And again. So uh…’’ he trails off.

He’s a stupid fucking idiot. What is he even saying, why is he so nervous? They literally kissed on sinsmas, why does this feel like such a big thing?

He looks at Stolas nervously, reading his features.

Fuck, he’s beautiful. Oh shit, his body feels like It’s on fucking fire. Not good. Fuck, fuck, fuck…

‘’I want to kiss you, too.’’ Stolas answers. His voice is low, nervous. ‘’And I’m so happy that you feel the same.’’ He smiles, but it fades almost immediately again as he looks into his cup.

‘’I’m just…worried.’’

Blitz’s stomach ties itself into a knot.

‘’About what?’’ he croaks, cursing himself for not being able to hide his anxiety.

‘’About our eventual relationship, Blitz. I don’t know, I guess I’m just…’’ his talons tighten around the mug. ‘’I’m scared, I think, that we’ll slip into the same roles we had before. I just…I don’t want to use you again.’’

Blitz looks down into his own mug, considering. Then he shakes his head.

‘’I get that you’re scared, Stols, but that won’t happen.’’

Stolas peers at him with those red eyes, looking confused.

‘’Blitz, you can’t just… you can’t know that.’’

‘’I do.’’ Blitz persists. ‘’I just…fuck, how do I say this…’’ he sips from the mug, genuinely panicking inside as he contemplates whether he’s ready to tell Stolas his entire emotional journey concerning their relationship or not. After a few seconds, he decides that he must.

He swallows the tea and looks away.

‘’When we started seeing each other I…I was a selfish asshole, kay?’’ he holds the cup close to his face, hoping Stolas will somehow miss how fucking nervous he is.

‘’I was only there to steal your book. I basically pressured you into being bound up, I used you and frankly…I treated you like shit, because I didn’t care about you.’’ He looks up, expecting to be met by tearful eyes, because the truth fucking sucks and it must sting to hear about how much of an asshole he had been.

But, Stolas merely nods. ‘’Yes. I gathered that, and I can’t blame you for it.’’ He gives Blitz a crooked smile. ‘’Well, I suppose I can blame you for stealing the book. Still…I can’t shame you for not being interested in me, or for disliking me for that matter. Demon royalty like me have been treating imps like toys for centuries, and I treated you just like everyone else.’’

Blitz sighs. ‘’No, Stols, that’s not it…’’ he bites his lip. ‘’I mean…of course that was a part of it, but I…I have shitty problems of my own, you know? Outside of the entire…power thing.’’

‘’Still.’’ Stolas interjects. ‘’I still used you. I made it very clear to you that I only wanted your body, nothing else, when really… the opposite was true. I wanted all of you, I wanted to get to know you, to hold you, to…’’ he trails off, face flushing.

Blitz swallows. He won’t lie, it feels good to hear that Stolas, out of all the demons in hell, wants him.

‘’It wasn’t just you. That wanted…more, I mean.’’ Blitz admits, and then quiets, almost shocked by his own confession. His face heats up, and he hides it in the mug. He glances up at Stolas, who’s looking at him with wide eyes, those white pupils locked onto him.

‘’You…even back then?’’

‘’Not at first.’’ Blitz admits. ‘’I…I can’t say when it started, or anything, I just…uh, shit I guess I suppressed it for a good while.’’ He laughs awkwardly. ‘’I’m pretty damn good at pretending, it seems. I even managed to convince myself.’’

Stolas straightens up slightly. ‘’Convinced yourself of what, exactly?’’

‘’That…I didn’t feel anything for you. That I only wanted…you know, sex, and nothing else.’’

He shakes his head.

‘’It’s so stupid, because I thought that’s what you wanted, you know? I thought that there was no way in Lucifer’s asshole that you’d actually want me for…you know, me. And that made me feel like shit.’’ He scoffs. ‘’In hindsight, that should have been a major fucking clue that I felt…something more. I wouldn’t have cared otherwise.’’

Stolas looks at him, sadness in his eyes.

‘’I’m so sorry, Blitz. I never meant to make you feel like you were…inferior. I never saw you as such.’’ He sighs, taking a sip of the tea. ‘’But I treated you like it. And for that, I’m deeply sorry.’’

Blitz smiles. ‘’I know, Stolas. I forgive you. You were probably taught to behave like a posh asshole anyway, weren’t you? I think I remember your dad yelling at you for bowing to me.’’

Stolas smiles back. ‘’Very much so. He saw you as…a pet, as anyone in the Goetia family would.’’ He shakes his head, something dark appearing in his eyes. ‘’I spent my whole life surrounded by imps. I was practically raised by them, and yet…I didn’t know half their names. I never asked about their day, never knew if they had families…’’

Tears start gathering in his eyes, and Blitz sets down his mug, reaching out for his big, dumb privileged bird.

‘’Hey, hey. We treat each other like that, as well, you know. Most bosses don’t give a fuck about their employees, I’m sure they didn’t-‘’

‘’That makes it worse!’’ Stolas cries, tears flowing from his eyes.

Shit.

‘’I proved everyone right! I’m exactly what everyone else thinks, all the fucking time, and I’m so tired of it!’’

Blitz places his hand on Stolas’ knee, caressing it carefully. ‘’Hey, hey! That’s not true.’’ He looks at Stolas, trying to convey just how fucking sincere he is right now. ‘’How can someone as smart as you be so fucking stupid?’’

Stolas stares at him, understandably offended, tears still running down his cheeks. He pushes Blitz’s hand away.

‘’Excuse me?’’

Blitz laughs, lifting his hands. ‘’Sorry, sorry. I could have worded that better, It’s just…you’re so fucking wrong It’s hilarious.’’

‘’About what, exactly?’’ Stolas asks cautiously, his tone telling Blitz that he better have a good explanation for being so rude.

‘’It’s not true that you’re what everyone else thinks.’’ Blitz explains, finding himself staring at the bird in front of him, taking in the sight of his soft feathers, that dark beak and those big, round eyes of red. They should be predatory, dangerous, and yet Blitz is drawn in like a moth to a light.

‘’You’ve surprised the fuck out of me, from the moment we met as kids.’’ He says, his voice low and calming.

‘’I thought you’d be an asshole back then, too, but you weren’t. And now…’’ he shakes his head. ‘’I thought that I was fucking unlovable, Stols, for my whole shitty life. I had completely given up on relationships. But you…out of all the shitty demons in hell, woke me the fuck up.’’

Stolas’ eyes open wider, shocked, and the blush coating his features deepens.

‘’I…really?’’ he croaks, seemingly at a loss for words. Blitz nods, smirking.

‘’Yes, really, you dumb bird.’’

He feels his eyes dart up and down, between Stolas’ beak and eyes. Stolas catches on, and matches his gaze, their eyes meeting.

‘’Stolas?’’ Blitz murmurs, gaze locked to those white pupils.

‘’Yes?’’ Stolas whispers, sounding breathless.

‘’Can I kiss you?’’

Stolas takes a shuddering breath, and nods. ‘’Always.’’

Blitz doesn’t have to be told twice. He leans in, closing his eyes and their mouths lock together, tasting each other gently.

Blitz has missed this, he realizes. He has missed it so bad.

The little start Stolas gives when their mouths meet, the melting into the kiss, the feathers tickling Blitz’s face, still damp from Stolas’ tears…

He’s sure that this is the closest he’ll ever come to the human perception of heaven, because it simply doesn’t exist and if it did he wouldn’t go there.

Neither of them opens their mouth or introduces their tongues this time, they just stay in this tender, soft space that Blitz used to think was reserved for virgins and prudes. However, he might have to rethink that sentiment, because neither he nor Stolas are either of those things.

After a while, neither can tell how long, they pull away, eyes meeting once again.

And fuck, there it is, three little words suddenly hovering in Blitz’s mouth, threatening to fall out and shoot Stolas in his hot ass face.

No. He cannot let that shit slip now, It’s too early, too raw, too new.

He looks away, and coughs. Fuck, what to say, what to say…

‘’Uh…speaking of…the shit we were speaking about earlier, I once hallucinated about you.’’

Stolas, who was looking rather dazed, shakes his head to clear it and peers at him with concern in his eyes.

‘’Oh- I- when, exactly? And why were you hallucinating?’’

Blitz shrugs, leaning back to his side of the couch again. Shit, why did he tell him this? This is not the lighthearted chatter he was going for at all.

‘’Okay, strap in, cause shit was kind of crazy.’’

Blitz then proceeds to explain the events of the failed mission that had led to him and Moxxie being captured and interrogated, and how those weird fuckos hot boxed them with some kind of ‘’truth gas’’ that made them hallucinate terribly.

He doesn’t mention certain parts of the hallucination, because it just doesn’t feel…relevant, but he tells Stolas every part of the hallucination that includes him. He never thought he would tell anyone about that shit but Stolas is just…so easy to talk to.

‘’-so, I was flailing around and stuff, right? And so I turn around, and I see you on this pedestal, atop these stairs. So I start crawling up, trying to get to you-’’ he pauses, looking Stolas in the eyes ‘’-and keep in mind this hasn’t happened in real life - there were these…shackles that appeared on my wrists as I crawled up those stairs. And you were uh… holding the chain! Crazy, right?’’

He cringes at himself. This is fucking terrible. He looks apologetically at Stolas, but he only nods for Blitz to continue, his face unusually still and calculated. Blitz swallows. He can’t back down now.

‘’You asked me if…if I was afraid to love people, as I crawled up the stairs. And I felt…I felt like some dirty fuckin’ dog or something, you know? And you grabbed me by my chin, angling my face towards yours…and uh, even through all that shit, I still wanted to be there. I wanted to be held by you, you know, without the fuckass chains and the…’’

He trails off, carefully examining Stolas’ face. How can this tall, stupid bird make him spill time and time again, without any effort whatsoever?

‘’You…viewed me as some kind of…master?’’ Stolas asks, his voice dripping with concern that peeks through the cracks of his carefully planned mask. He lets it fall, looking miserable at the prospect.

‘’No, no I never…saw you as a master or anything, I guess I just…thought that was how you viewed me.’’ He scoffs, blushing. ‘’It’s…kind of embarrassing to admit.’’

‘’It shouldn’t be.’’ Stolas answers, shaking his head. ‘’That day…was the day I came and got you, wasn’t it?’’

Blitz nods, and Stolas lets out a shaky breath. His eyes are wet, but no tears fall. ‘’And yet you still kissed me, you still…bedded me afterwards, despite-‘’

‘’As I said, it didn’t happen in real life. No need to hold a grudge for something that didn’t happen.’’

‘’But it did happen, in a way!’’ Stolas argues back. ‘’You viewed me that way, and I played right into that, using you in such terrible fashion…’’

‘’Hey, I used you too! We used each other.’’ Blitz corrects.

‘’Sure, but I was the one who suggested it! I was the one in power, I was the one-‘’

‘’Yes, but you made up for it, didn’t you?’’ Blitz interrupts, raising an eyebrow.

‘’You tried to tell me your feelings, and I fucked up, so bad. I assumed the fucking worst, and showed you the absolute worst, shitty part of me possible. And yet, even though I kept fucking up and hurting you, you still saved my life at the trial, without hesitation.’’

He shakes his head. ‘’Nothing you’ve ever done or could ever do would stop me from forgiving you after that, Stols. Please try and remember that.’’

Stolas looks at him, the wetness in his eyes now overflowing for what feels like the hundredth time. Blitz breathes out through his nose, smiling.

‘’Wanna come over here?’’

‘’Yes please.’’ Stolas answers, scooting over to him and putting his head in Blitz’s lap almost immediately. Blitz sits still, petting the feathers on his head while Stolas coos lightly at his touches.

They sit like that for a while, listening to the low sound from the tv and soaking in each other’s presence. Then Stolas starts fidgeting with the blanket that’s draped over Blitz’s legs, and lets out a long, nervous breath.

‘’Since…you shared something personal of yours, I feel it fair that I tell you something similar.’’ He says, voice low. Blitz digs his fingers gently into Stolas’ head, scratching his scalp. Stolas shudders in that absolutely adorable way that makes his feathers fluff up, and Blitz smiles.

‘’Yeah? You don’t have to, you know.’’

‘’I am aware.’’ Stolas responds, matter-of-factly. ‘’But…I wish for you to know.’’

He gathers himself for a few moments, continuing to fidget with the blanket. Then he sighs.

‘’I…I wish to tell you that I have had feelings for you, ever since we were children.’’

The silence that follows those words makes Blitz’s ears ring. He cannot possibly have heard that correctly.

‘’What…do you mean?’’ he asks, while his mind is desperately trying to grasp the few fleeting memories he still has of the interaction they had as children. He remembers Stolas bitchass dad, the shit he stole, the book, and he remembers Stolas laughing.

‘’I mean…that I felt some sort of…connection or attraction or…crush, I suppose, from the moment I saw you in the circus.’’

Blitz shakes his head. ‘’No, that…you’re kidding me, right?’’

‘’I’m serious, Blitz.’’

Blitz exhales heavily, thinking through every moment that he treated Stolas like absolute garbage, every time he ignored his texts, his calls…

‘’But…it went away, right? Your…crush or whatever?’’

Stolas looks up at him, eyes still teary and so heartachingly vulnerable. Blitz could almost cry himself.

‘’I am an owl, Blitz.’’ Stolas whispers. ‘’We only fall in love once.’’

He pauses, watching as that crazy fucking notion sinks into Blitz’s head.

‘’We didn’t see each other for a long time, of course.’’ Stolas continues. ‘’But…I thought about you now and then. So when you came back to me…it all came rushing back.’’

Blitz swallows down the guilt suddenly threatening to choke him. He feels tears rise in his own eyes, but refuses to let them fall.

‘’Fuck…I’m so sorry Stolas, I had no idea.’’

‘’Of course you didn’t. I do not expect you to know anything about how goetian owls work, and It’s ridiculous to feel that way about someone for so long, after all.’’

Blitz laughs. ‘’A little, maybe.’’ He smiles teasingly. ‘’But It’s a very you thing to do.’’

Stolas turns to him, offended. ‘’Whatever do you mean?’’

‘’Nothing, nothing! It’s just…you love that kinda stuff, you know? Soppy, romantic, cheesy shit like…rom coms, and romantic movies and shit.’’

Stolas quirks a brow. ‘’And you don’t?’’

Blitz shakes his head. ‘’Hell no! I’m way too hardcore for any of that-‘’

Stolas interrupts him by leaning up and kissing him, very effectively shutting him up. When Stolas pulls back from him, he has the smuggest smile Blitz has ever seen plastered on his face.

‘’You know, Blitz, for someone who claims to disfavor romance, you’re very red right now.’’

Blitz swallows, not being able to look away, despite feeling a little ashamed. ‘’Yeah, no shit that’s my fucking skin, asshole.’’ He replies, with no hostility whatsoever in his voice.

Stolas breaks into a big smile, laying back down into his lap and lets out several hoots, laughing like he has never done anything else.

Blitz can do nothing but look at him and take in the sound of his joy. He has never heard Stolas laugh like this, not ever. But now that he’s heard it, he wants to record it and keep it on loop until he dies.

They talk for a while longer on the couch, about lighthearted subjects like horses and books. After a while, a drowsy sleepiness sets in. When Loona comes home from a party at about 1 am, she finds them both cuddled up on the couch.

Smiling drunkenly, she leans over the couch and snaps a photo of them together, illuminated by the light of the tv. She sends it to Millie, turns the tv off, and puts the groceries on the floor in the fridge and cupboard.

Entering her room, she throws herself on her bed, groaning.

 

Her head is spinning slightly. It’s not like she drank a lot, but she’s not that used to partying at all. It’s very fun, but also very tiring.

Ignoring the fact that she should probably wash off her makeup and brush her teeth, she cuddles up into her blanket and her pillows and scrolls sinstagram.

She comes upon a few posts from the night, and smiles, liking them. It feels so fucking good to finally be included, to have someone else than just…Blitz. Especially now that he’s occupied with someone else…

She smirks and pulls up the photo again in her and Millie’s chat. To her surprise, Millie is typing.

Dang, Loona didn’t think the old lady had it in her to stay up this late.

Another picture pops up in the chat, and Loona snorts. It’s a picture of Moxxie, asleep on the sofa just like Blitz and Stolas, with drool running down the side of his mouth. Millie has simply captioned the image with ‘’Men.’’, and Loona gives the message a thumbs up.

She feels sleepiness itch in her eyes, and makes a mental note to put the phone down in a few minutes or so. Just one last scroll on sinstagram…

It turns out to be more scrolls than one, and maybe a little while longer than a few minutes.

Right about when Loona’s eyes are about to close by themselves, however, she sees something that makes her feel wide awake again.

On the top of the sinstagram page, where people posts their stories, she sees a profile picture that she hasn’t seen in a long while.

Octavia.

She clicks on the story. It is a single, black image, with the text ‘’life fucking sucks’’ on it, a post from another account.

Loona grimaces, both because the image is painfully emo, but also because she feels sorry for the girl. She doesn’t know much about Stolas or Octavia, but what she does know is that their relationship is pretty rocky.

Having been stripped of stability pretty much since birth, she knows how absolutely shitty it can be to feel abandoned and unwanted, especially as a teenager. And, fuck it, she just got her first set of real friends. If anyone knows how awful loneliness can be, It’s her.

She hesitates for a moment, but then clicks the button at the bottom of the story, typing a short message;

‘’Hey, you okay?’’

She sighs, closing sinstagram down and putting her phone on her bedside table, expecting Via to either ignore her message or reply later. However, only about a minute into her closing her eyes and trying to sleep, the phone vibrates, and she picks it up, squinting at the bright light of the screen.

She has received a sinstagram notification, a message from ‘’gothchk17’’. She clicks on it, reading Via’s message.

‘’No, tbh. I think you know why.’’

Loona stares at the message, wondering whether Via is angry with her as well. She would understand if she was, considering her dad pretty much snatched Via’s dad away. She types a message back.

‘’I’m not on my dad’s ‘’side’’ or anything, just so you know. Couldn’t care less what he does.’’

She hesitates, then sends another message.

‘’I just wanna know how ur doing.’’

The messages are marked as ‘’seen’’ almost immediately, and Via starts typing. A short message pops up on screen.

‘’Thx.’’

Loona waits for a continuation, but nothing comes. Octavia remains silent. So, she starts typing.

‘’If you ever wanna meet up to talk about shit or just to hang out, I’m down whenever.’’

The message is seen, and there is nothing for half a minute or so. Then Octavia starts typing. Then she stops, and then she starts again. The tiny bubble at the bottom of the chat gets a real workout before the message is finally sent.

‘’I think I’d like that. When?’’

Loona scoffs. Damn, she didn’t expect to decide on a date or anything right now.

‘’Are you allowed out the house at night?’’

Octavia replies.

‘’Probs not, but nobody would notice me being gone.’’

‘’Good. 1 am tomorrow, here?’’ Loona links a location to the message, assuming that Octavia doesn’t get out enough to know the place by name.

Octavia sends her a thumbs up.

Chapter 6: Sisterly advice

Octavia watches the single streak of light making It’s way into her room through her starry blackout curtains. She has barely left her room for the past few weeks, save to eat and take the occasional breath of fresh air.

It’s so hard to walk anywhere in the mansion. Despite her mother and Andrealphus having covered most of the portraits and sculptures of her father, he’s still everywhere.

From the closet filled with his old stuff, to the dying plants and his scent still hanging about in the air, no matter how much perfume her mother sprays around her…

Her father is etched into this place, haunting her from every corner, constantly.

The worst thing is, despite how mad she is at him, above all else she misses him like crazy. She misses his hugs, his soft words spoken into her shoulder, his smell, his soft feathers…

She misses her dad, and he’s not here to comfort her.

No one is here to comfort her.

The tears sting in her eyes again, and she lets them come, curling in on herself, turning up the volume on her already loud music.

She feels numb.

The only thing she has to look forward to right now is her meeting with Loona. She isn’t even sure she actually looks forward to it. It’s just…nice to have an upcoming something.

Just sitting here moping around all day is killing her. However, she can’t do anything else. Not in the mansion, anyway.

Every time she tries to leave her room she’s either heckled by her mother, who has nothing to talk about except how annoying and horrible her dad is, or glared at by uncle Andy, who has been very shut-beaked around her since his fight with her dad.

She prefers him that way, he has nothing good to say anyway. He has frozen over the entire mansion, killing her dad’s beloved plants in the process. She has nothing say to him, save for mumbled curses under her breath now and then.

Tiny, miniscule revenges. She can tell it bothers him, and at least that’s something.

She falls back, sighing and pressing the headphones closer to her ears, feeling the vibrations echoing in her skull. It helps numbing the pain and quiet her thoughts, at least briefly.

She’s agreed to meet Loona at 1 am, which is more than likely outside of her curfew, whatever it might be. Her parents have never officially set one, considering she’s never really been one to go out of the mansion. So, she has to wait for her mother and Andrealphus to go to bed before making her escape.

Octavia is laying on her stomach on the floor, nodding along to loud music and reading a book on taxidermy. When the clock strikes half past 12, she pulls off her headphones, listening and putting down the book.

About an hour ago, she could hear her mother and uncle talking and laughing loudly in the lounge room. Now It’s dead silent, save for the occasional pitter-patter of imp feet in the corridor outside.

Another reason she cannot take the door. The servants would notice, and she cannot trust them to not tell her mother. Most of them seem to be very loyal to the family, despite most likely being severely underpaid.

Via scoffs.

She had never really thought about imps and the ethics of it all, not as a child nor as a teenager. It wasn’t until her stupid dad decided to hook up with a stupid imp out of all things that she started thinking about it.

What made this one so special? She never saw her dad conversing with the staff, or pay any special interest in them at all. So why…Blitz? Out of all the imps in hell? She just…can’t put the pieces together.

She lowers her face onto her arms, taking a deep, shuddering breath.

She hates that stupid, big-horned bastard, why did he have to steal her dad away? Why him? Couldn’t he go for someone she didn’t care for, like her uncle or some other stuck-up asshole in the Goetia family? Why was he so into royalty, anyway? Was he in it for the money?

She shakes her head. No, not anymore, anyway. If he was just after the money, her dad wouldn’t be staying with him right now. Blitz wouldn’t have risked his life for him, he wouldn’t have yelled from the speaker below the tv when he thought her dad was being executed…

Every sign points towards the fact that the little creep actually likes her dad, and it makes her so angry she could just scream.

If he likes her damn dad so much, then why did he hurt him? Her dad tried to hide it, over and over. He tried to hide his drinking, the dark circles under his eyes, the tear streaks. But she saw them all, and she understood.

Not everything, obviously. She had missed the pills. But she hadn’t missed the cause of her dad’s misery, the cause of his not-so-subtle heartbreak.

Blitz. He was the reason her dad had been eating ice cream on the couch for weeks leading up to the trial. So what changed? Why does he suddenly like him? Why did he steal him away?

She’s sobbing now. It always ends this way, no matter how many times she convinces herself that she shouldn’t cry for her dad, that he isn’t worth her tears.

It just feels so shitty. She has been there with her dad since birth. She has gone to places with him, bonded with him, hugged him, cried in his arms…

She’s a daddy’s girl, and always has been. But now he’s gone. He left her, for a stupid imp who has done nothing but hurt him, ever since he barged into their lives.

She’s not stupid. She knows that her parents marriage wasn’t great before the divorce, that they never loved each other. But now…now It’s just miserable. And all thanks to that stupid, evil…

She trails off, letting out a shaky hoot as hot tears stain the arms of her shirt.

She’s gonna have to change before she goes. She checks her phone, realizing It’s 12:40. The location Loona has given her is at least 15 minutes away by foot. She should really start getting ready.

She listens carefully one last time. Nothing. The coast must be clear.

Octavia stands up and walks towards her closet, wiping her tears in the process.

She sifts through the many articles of clothing, most of them similar to each other, dark and adorned with stars and skulls. She picks a bigger hoodie with yellow stars on it, and unclips her crown from her beanie, leaving it in the closet. She pulls the hood over her head.

It’s likely she’ll be recognized as a Goetia if someone happens to look at her for too long, but hopefully nobody will and she’ll be taken for a sinner. It’s mainly the height and the clothes that give it away, anyway, so if she covers up and hunches a bit it should be fine.

After stopping and listening for the last time, she puts her phone in her pocket. For once, she hasn’t brought her headphones. She needs to be alert and listen. She could easily harm anyone at a moments notice, but there are a lot of skilled assassins and various other criminals in hell, so she doesn’t want to take any chances.

Carefully, she opens one of the big windows and steps out onto her balcony, peeking over the edge. It’s a long fall, if she fails. Still, she should be able to protect herself with her powers.

After some hesitation, she swings a leg over the railing of the balcony, grabbing ahold of the icy ledge. It’s slippery, and she struggles on her way down, feet slipping on frozen, dead vines. However, after some struggle she makes it to the ground, immediately looking around for any sign of a staff member or her mother.

The garden is still and silent, twinkling with ice and cold.

She breathes out. She’s alone. No one is looking for her. The thought makes her cold, so she starts walking.

The mansion is located in the outskirts of town, and she knows better than to go anywhere close to the city. So, she walks on the limit between the city and the hills overlooking it, scanning the hills for a big sign with an ugly baby on it. That’s where Loona told her they should meet, anyway.

When they chatted on sinstagram the night prior, Loona told her that she’d rather take her into town, but that she wasn’t old enough yet. It did make her feel rather small, but she does get it. It wouldn’t be safe, or legal, for that matter. Besides, she has never really considered herself the party type.

Squinting, she spots the sign in the far distance. Hell, that baby really is ugly.

She picks up her pace, looking around now and again to see if anyone is lurking in the shadows. Nobody is. No one saw her sneak out the mansion, and no assassin would expect anybody, especially not a Goetia, to walk here at night.

So, her stroll is safe and quiet. It’s a very starry night, no clouds to be seen except for the smog. She tries not to look, and pretends not to see.

Her father is everywhere in the mansion, on paintings and sculptures and in feathers on the floor. It’s a relief to be out of there, to be able to breathe for just a moment. However, there is one downside to being out at night.

All she sees when she looks up at the stars is her father. As soon as she sees those twinkling lights, he’s there. In her heart and all around her. His words, his promises, his hugs, his kisses, his smell…he’s all around her and twinkling back at her from the big red sky.

And It’s all a fucking lie. She can’t bare to look at it, It’s as if he’s laughing down at her.

Fighting back tears, she starts making her way up the hill where she’s meeting Loona. It’s still too far for her to see if the hellhound is already there.

When she reaches the top of the hill, panting slightly, she sees her.

Loona is sitting down in the cold grass by one of the metal pillars that holds the giant, ugly sign. She’s looking up at the night sky, blowing out puffs of smoke. When Octavia starts getting near, she turns and waves.

‘’Hey.’’

Octavia swallows, suddenly feeling strangely nervous.

‘’Hi.’’

Loona pats the ground beside her, and Octavia nods, walking over and sitting down beside her, leaning against the cold, metal pole.

She had wondered why Loona had picked this spot. She understood it was to keep her out of the city, but she hadn’t understood why Loona felt like putting her through a hike to get here.

Now she understands.

The view is beautiful. The lights of the city, the red of the sky, and the stars…

She looks down, drawing her knees up to her chest and keeping her eyes focused on her shoes.

No. No stargazing for her today. She glances at Loona, who’s silently smoking beside her.

‘’Can I ask…why did you decide to meet me?’’ Octavia asks, turning to her fully. ‘’We’ve only chatted a few times. And now, after everything…shouldn’t you hate me?’’

Loona blows out a long breath of smoke and puts out the cigarette in the cold grass. She continues looking straight ahead at the city.

‘’Nobody hates you.’’ She responds matter-of-factly. ‘’Nobody’s mad at you, either. And even if they were…I wouldn’t care. I know you’ve done nothing wrong.’’

Octavia sighs, resting her chin on her knees. ‘’Everything has been so…shitty, lately. Mom is just…strutting around and laughing at dad with my uncle all the time. It’s as if they don’t even realize how much everything sucks for me!’’ she shakes her head. ‘’Some days I feel like I can’t even breathe in there, like they’re stealing all the oxygen, as if I’m not even there.’’

She feels her face heat up slightly. ‘’Sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble.’’

‘’No, no. It’s good to talk about it.’’ Loona assures her, actually turning a little to smile at her. ‘’That’s why I invited you out. Figured you could get out of that giant hellhole, at least for a little while.’’

She lights another cigarette, and offers it to her.

‘’Wanna try?’’

Octavia looks at her, surprised, then nods and takes it. Loona’s eyes widen.

She puts the little glowing stick in her mouth and inhales, her lungs filling with itchy, prickly smoke. She goes into a coughing fit, immediately handing the cigarette back to Loona who laughs.

‘’Damn, princess! I was joking, you know!’’

Octavia glares at her. ‘’Could have…said that a little earlier.’’ She wheezes between the coughs, making Loona laugh even louder. She puts the cigarette in her own mouth, breathing in.

‘’Well, It’s better not to smoke, anyway. It just fucks up your lungs and makes you smell like shit.’’

Octavia scoffs. ‘’Doesn’t matter what I smell like anymore anyway, there’s no one at home who will tell the difference.’’

Loona is silent for a moment, just looking out over the city and blowing smoke clouds. Then she speaks.

‘’I used to be lonely too, you know. I had no friends, no prospects, no family…’’ she sighs, smoke coming out of her nose. ‘’But then, I found a family with my…with Blitz. He adopted me, even though I was about your age and super fucking hard to deal with. He…healed me, at least partially.’’

She looks at Octavia. ‘’I still didn’t have any friends, either. It wasn’t until recently that I found my people.’’

Octavia looks at her, feeling that strange ache in her throat that comes every time she wants to cry. Except she’s tired of crying, there’s anything she’d rather do.

‘’It gets better, Octavia.’’ Loona says, turning back to look at the view. ‘’It might take a while but…it gets better. Even people like Blitz gets better.’’ She adds. ‘’He used to be a real asshat…but your dad has really changed him, you know?’’

Octavia looks away, putting her chin on her knees again. She doesn’t want to hear about Blitz and her father, and how sickeningly happy they are without her.

Anger boils in her stomach, and she welcomes it happily. Anger is easier than sadness, so much easier.

‘’Yeah, well good for him. But I need my dad! Your shitty dad just…stole mine when I needed him most, and he just followed, without question! It’s… it just sucks so fucking much.’’ She inhales shakingly, tears welling up in her eyes. She wraps her arms around herself, and looks away from Loona, not wanting her to see them.

‘’Yeah, you do need him. And It’s shitty, that he wasn’t there for you.’’ Loona agrees. Octavia turns to her, surprised.

‘’What?’’

Loona exhales the smoke and turns to look at her.

‘’I don’t think you should forgive my dad or your dad unless you feel ready to.’’ She shakes her head. ‘’Believe me, I know how fucking shitty it feels to be thrown away and forgotten. That shit fucks you up.’’

She tilts her head, looking Octavia up and down.

‘’When Blitz adopted me, he didn’t give up on me, even though I was violent, mean…I was just a real asshole. But…he knew I was hurting, so he never gave up.’’ She smiles.

‘’You know, we share this tiny apartment together, with only one bedroom. And that room is mine, because he wants me to have the privacy I was never able to have at the kennel. Even now that your dad is staying with us, the room is still mine. He never even thought to kick me out. And that means something, even if he doesn’t realize it.’’

Octavia looks at her, eyes wide.

‘’One room? Where…where does my dad sleep?’’

Loona snorts. ‘’On the couch. It’s way too fucking small for his long ass legs.’’

Octavia ponders on that for a second, trying to picture her dad crammed into some worn couch in a tiny apartment. She can’t see it, no matter how hard she tries.

A question forms in her mind, and she hesitates before asking it.

‘’How…is he? My dad, I mean.’’

Loona shrugs, and leans back, resting her head against the metal pole and closing her eyes.

‘’He’s…coping, I think. He’s getting better. But…a few weeks ago, after what happened at the mansion…man, he was a fucking wreck.’’

Octavia’s heart twists in her chest, and she looks away, feeling strangely ashamed.

‘’Like…how?’’ she asks, immediately regretting her question.

He doesn’t care about her, so she doesn’t care about him.

‘’He wouldn’t leave the couch.’’ Loona informs her. ‘’He would just lay on it and…stare. And he tried calling you constantly. He still does, every day.’’

Octavia shakes her head. ‘’Isn’t he happy? With…Blitz?’’

Loona shrugs. ‘’I don’t know, I don’t really give a fuck.’’ She opens her eyes, looking up at the stars. Octavia lets herself look at them too, but only for a moment.

‘’They seem to like each other, at least. But…I know for a fact your dad would be way happier if you were there.’’

Octavia swallows. It still hurts in her chest when she thinks of her dad suffering, but part of her finds it satisfying and…relieving as well.

At least he seems to care for her, despite betraying her so thoroughly.

‘’Well…It’s a good thing he cares about me still.’’ Octavia says. She hadn’t planned on saying it, it just slipped out. Loona let’s out a short laugh through her nose, and puts out the cigarette in the grass again.

‘’Of course he does.’’ She let’s her head fall to the side to look at her. ‘’From what I’ve seen, he seems to love you more than anything. He talks about you constantly, It’s honestly annoying.’’ She gives her an earnest look. ‘’But that doesn’t mean you can’t be hurt. He has done you dirty, and you have every right to feel betrayed.’’

Octavia sighs. ‘’What should I do? I can’t stand being home, but I can’t stand the thought of seeing him again either…’’

Loona puts a careful paw on her arm, and Octavia lets her.

‘’I might not be the best person to ask, but…if you want my advice, I think you should take some time to heal for yourself, without him. And try to get out the castle sometimes, okay?’’ she adds, smiling. ‘’If you’d like I could invite you the next time me and my friends hang out. One of my friends have a little sister your age.’’

Octavia smiles, putting her talons over Loona’s paw, looking at her. ‘’I…think I would like that.’’

They talk for a few minutes more, about everything and anything, and before they know it, the sun starts peaking It’s way over the horizon. They both stand up, saying goodbye before parting ways.

On her way down the hill, Octavia looks through her call history to check if she’s missed any calls from her mother. She hasn’t, of course, so instead her eyes stop at another number that is on her ‘’blocked’’ list.

Blitz’s number.

She stares at it for a moment, considering.

She isn’t quite ready to unblock it yet, but she’s beginning to feel that maybe she will be one day.

Notes:

I am living for Octavia and Loona growing closer and eventually seeing each other as sisters... can you tell I love experimenting with different kinds of relationships and dynamics yet?

Chapter 7: Bathtub shenanigans

Notes:

Warning for references to sex/sexual feelings, but nothing explicit actually happens yet.

Stolas opens his eyes slowly. They’re sticky and heavy and sting against the red light coming from the windows, so he shuts them again, groaning.

What time is it? What day is it? Where is he? And why is he so damn warm?

He makes an attempt at opening his eyes again, and with a few blinks he is successful. He looks around the room and remembers with a rapidly clearing head that it is in fact a Saturday, and that he’s in Blitz and Loona’s apartment.

He looks down, ready to shove off the blanket that’s making him sweat so much, but stops dead in his movement, face heating.

The warm thing that is wrapped around him isn’t a blanket at all. It’s Blitz, fully clothed and sleeping like a kitten.

Stolas stares down at him for what feels like more than a minute, getting significantly hotter with each passing second.

Satan, it has been so long since they were tangled up like this, flush against each other…

Stolas swallows. There is a very familiar little feeling in his lower abdomen, and it makes him want to wake Blitz up and smash their mouths together, to finally moan and pant and let Blitz know just how much he has missed his touch…

Stolas shakes his head, trying desperately to clear it.

No, he can’t think of Blitz like that, not now. It’s too much, too much and too soon at the same time. He can’t sit here, he has to get away from this heat and these insistent thoughts.

Carefully, he slips out from under Blitz, who only groans and rolls over on the couch, continuing to mumble to himself and snore.

Stolas could’ve stayed and watched him for hours, but there’s a rising feeling of panic and shame inside him, and he instead rushes to the bathroom, locking himself in, undressing quickly. He then slips into the bath tub and turns the water to cold, before turning the shower on.

The shock of the cold water really wakes him up, and he gasps and shivers, hugging himself

Fuck.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

He let’s out a shuddering breath, closing his legs as hard as he can. He’s so fucking turned on, and it makes him sick.

He can’t want Blitz like that right now, he just can’t.

They’ve just gotten comfortable enough to kiss again, to hold each other like Stolas always dreamed of. And now his stupid body is trying to ruin it, to make him slip into the same old toxic routine that It’s used to.

Maybe he’s too damn broken for this? Maybe he’s so thoroughly fucked up that he’s secretly waited for this, buttered Blitz up with kisses and promises, just to get to this point?

Isn’t it fucked up of him to want Blitz at all?

He used him, he cheated on his wife and abandoned his daughter… and despite being faced with all the carnage he had caused, despite his daughter telling him to his face that he’s a liar and a fraud, he still wants Blitz to call him his, kiss him and even fuck him?

He must be the worst fucking demon in all of hell, and hell is notoriously crawling with assholes.

Stolas slips further into the tub, the water starting to pool at the bottom. The plug must be in. He doesn’t really care, taking a cold bath might be a good thing for him right now. He has to stop this feeling before it swells and becomes worse, before Blitz notices…

He lets out small, hopeless bird noises and carefully sorts through the thick plumage of feathers on his head. They’re not the worst, but not the best either. He used a lot of oils and special shampoos and what have you back at the mansion, and he can certainly tell from feeling around that he hasn’t used them in a while.

He has natural oils, of course, so his feathers will be fine. Just…less sleek and shiny and more rugged.

As he preens himself slightly, both with his beak and his talons, he thinks. He thinks about how he has felt since the trial, the absolute nightmarish rollercoaster of finally being seen by Blitz, to be able to kiss him and hold him…but to lose his daughter and his rank, his name, all his possessions….

There is so much loss and so little gain, and yet his body dares to continue chasing what he’s gained, despite all it has cost him. It’s insanity, that he’s sitting in this crummy apartment, letting himself be seen and loved while he should be fending for himself on the street, regretting his miserable life.

That’s what he deserves, anyway. He doesn’t deserve Via, and he doesn’t deserve Blitz. But he deserves this.

He looks down at himself, his long legs and arms, and his waist. He’s thinning out, he has noticed. He’s not eating enough. Maybe he’s doing it to punish himself, or maybe his current mental state doesn’t allow for an appetite. Honestly, he isn’t sure himself.

He sighs, and gives up on the preening. There are dark blue feathers all around him in the cold water, and he reaches out, twisting the tap so that the water stops running.

This is just sad. He is just sad. A sad, horny, lonely owl in a way too small bathtub.

He snickers a little at himself, he can’t help it. He’s just so fucking miserable, but at the same time so numb that it’s comical.

Maybe, despite the guilt, despite the fact that he’s not worthy and how fucked up it is… It’s worth feeling something else, if only for a moment.

He slips down against the side of the tub, into a half-lying, half-sitting position. It’s as close as he can get to laying down, anyway.

Stolas takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, and moves his talons downwards.

*
Blitz wakes up and stretches, his back popping in the process. It should thank him for finally sleeping somewhere semi-soft.

He opens his eyes and blinks lazily, looking around the room. Stolas isn’t on the couch with him anymore, and he’s not on the balcony or in the kitchen either. Blitz heavily doubts that he’s in Loona’s room, so either he’s in the bathroom, or he left.

The last option makes Blitz panic a bit, so he scrambles off the sofa and walks over to the bathroom, listening. There’s no water running, but he hears a dripping noise that he recognizes as the noise of water drops leaking out the faucet into the bath water. So, there’s most likely a bath drawn. But why?

Living with Stolas has taught him a lot of things, one of them being that Stolas is a creature of habit, to no one’s surprise. On the days when he was really down, he didn’t do much of anything. However, on the days where Blitz managed to drag him off the couch, he always followed the same routine:

Wake up, freshen up in the kitchen sink, have a few bites of breakfast, change in the bathroom, brush the inside of his beak and finally go on about his day.

Not that it has to be a big deal, but showering in the morning doesn’t really seem to be Stolas’ style, at least not while he has been staying at Blitz’s place.

Blitz hesitates outside the door, listening.

The total silence aside from the dripping kind of freaks him out, no matter how many times he tells himself that he’s overreacting and that everything’s fine.

They made up the day before, they talked, they cuddled, they kissed!

The thought leaves a frozen, ugly feeling in Blitz’s chest, and it does the exact opposite from calming him down.

What if Stolas regrets the day before? What if he woke up miserable, feeling used and betrayed and like he had been taken advantage of? What if he had another outburst, and this time it went too far…

Blitz can’t contain his worry anymore, panic setting in as he finally raises his hand, knocking on the door.

Please answer, please answer, please…

A started yelp is heard from the bathtub, accompanied by the splashing of water. Blitz has never felt so relieved in his life.

‘’Stolas?’’ he asks, still a little concerned. ‘’You good in there?’’

‘’Y-yes!’’ Stolas replies, sounding unusually shaken, but not hurt, not angry. ‘’I’m just…I was…I was just startled.’’

Blitz laughs softly. ‘’Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.’’ He hesitates before asking: ‘’You are okay, though?’’

‘’Yes. I’m just…taking a bath, I’m almost done.’’

Blitz breathes a sigh of relief. ‘’Great. I’ll get started on breakfast, okay?’’

‘’Alright.’’

As Blitz makes breakfast, he hears the shower turn on again, and run for quite a while. It isn’t until he has cooked everything and made the table that the water finally turns off, and Stolas emerges a few minutes later, dressed in the same oversized shirt and shorts as the day before. Blitz smiles at him, and sits down.

‘’Hey, birdy! Took you long enough. Was it a nice shower?’’

To Blitz’s surprise, Stolas’ face turns beet red, and he refuses to look at Blitz as he sits down.

‘’Yes it was…fine. Sorry I took so long.’’

Blitz knits his eyebrows together, confused. Is Stolas ashamed of taking a lot of water or something?

‘’No, sorry, that’s not what I meant. You could shower for hours, if you want. I don’t mind.’’

Stolas nods slightly, but it takes a while for the color to fade from his face as they eat. To Blitz’s delight, Stolas actually finishes half the plate of mice, which is more than double his usual amount. Blitz has to bite back his praises. He doesn’t want to treat Stolas like a child.

After breakfast, they head to the office. Usually they’re all free on the weekends, but there was one urgent mission they couldn’t fit into their schedule, so everyone agreed that it would be for the best to get it over with.

Since It’s the weekend, Blitz told Stolas he could stay home if he wanted since they didn’t take any new calls or bookings and all the paperwork was sorted, but Stolas insisted on going with him.

Blitz feels as if his body is filled with bubbles. He feels like a stupid unicorn shitting out stupid rainbows. Never in his miserable lifetime had he thought that he would turn into such a little simpy bitch, but here he is.

He takes Stolas’ hand when they walk to the car, and Stolas doesn’t pull away. That small action alone makes Blitz feel like he’s going to combust.

‘’Isn’t Loona coming?’’ Stolas asks when they sit down.

‘’Nah, she’s going shopping for weapons…again.’’ Blitz explains. ‘’The LA mission really shortened our supply.’’

‘’Hm.’’ Stolas replies, looking out the window as Blitz starts the car.

On their way to the office, they pick up Moxxie and Millie, who seem to be in good spirits. They chat in the back, and ask Stolas and him questions. Blitz answers them gladly and teases them, but Stolas only replies with small, quiet words.

Blitz wonders to himself whether Stolas might still be upset about the shower thing, whatever it is, but he assumes that he might just be tired. They did stay up pretty late the night before.

The night before.

Blitz can’t help but smile when he thinks about it. The kisses, the whispers, the falling asleep in each other’s arms… it keeps him giddy the rest of the car ride, although he tries real hard to hide it.

The mission goes as smoothly as it can, considering It’s just him, Moxxie and their limited supply of weapons. The kill is easy, some beefy dude who killed their client in a boxing match.

In Blitz’s experience, those big, steroid-filled hunks are always easy to kill. They have muscles, but no strength and no coordination. They can’t see past their own huge shoulders, and are really easy to attack from the back.

So, when Blitz and Moxxie return to the office in time for lunch, they’re both pumped and satisfied, high fiving and laughing. They’re greeted by Millie in the office. She smiles at them, looking proud.
‘’Welcome back!’’ she embraces and kisses Moxxie, wiping some blood off of her chin. ‘’You should probably clean up, honey.’’

Moxxie swallows, legs shaking slightly. Blitz makes a face at them, but immediately starts scanning the room for Stolas. He isn’t anywhere to be seen, so he must be in Blitz’s office. He starts heading there, but is stopped in his tracks by Millie.

‘’Blitz…wait.’’ She says, voice soft in a way that makes him feel a bit worried.

‘’Yeah?’’ he asks, quirking an eyebrow. Millie turns to Moxxie, kissing him. ‘’Go wash up now.’’

Moxxie looks from her to Blitz, and then to her again, nodding. ‘’Alright.’’

He then walks in the direction of the bathrooms. Blitz and Millie remain silent until he’s disappeared.

Fuck, this must be serious. He turns to Millie, who nods her head towards the couch. ‘’Let’s sit down.’’

Blitz swallows. ‘’Fuck, Mills. Who has died?’’

She gives him a genuine smile. ‘’No one has died, Blitz. Stolas is fine, he’s in your office.’’

Blitz rolls his eyes. ‘’Hey! I said someone, not-‘’

‘’I know you were thinkin’ of him.’’ Millie says playfully, jumping down onto the couch from behind the backrest. She looks at him, smile still on her lips. ‘’Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s nothin’ serious, I’m just curious…how’s it goin’? Between you and Stolas, I mean?’’

Blitz breathes out, shaking his head. ‘’That’s all? You just wanna pry?’’

Millie shrugs. ‘’I feel like you owe me, after all the break ins, and the spyin’, and-‘’

‘’Alright, alright!’’ Blitz interrupts. ‘’Fuck, I guess…It’s going okay, you know?’’ he looks at her, immediately seeing in her face that she’s not buying any of his bullshit. He groans.

‘’Fine! It’s…It’s going great.’’ He leans back on the couch, smiling up at the cracked paint on the ceiling. ‘’We…we’re taking it slow. Stolas is still…sad, sometimes, of course. But I…I feel like we fit somehow, you know? Even though we’re so fucking different.’’

He rolls his head over just to see Millie smirking at him. He feels his cheeks heat up and scowls at her. ‘’What?’’

Millie laughs. ‘’Nothin’. I just…never thought I’d see you like this, simpin’ over some big bird. It’s nice!’’

Blitz laughs with her, shaking his head and covering his face with his hands.

‘’Fuuuuck Mills, what the shit is wrong with me?’’

Millie giggles, punching his arm. ‘’You’re in love, Blitz.’’ She lifts one of his hands, looking him in the eye. ‘’Welcome to the fuckin’ club.’’

‘’Nooooo…’’ Blitz whines, sinking down on the couch, still smiling. ‘’I don’t do that shit! It’s not me!’’

‘’Y’know, I thought so too, when I first fell for Moxxie. And just look at us now!’’ she gestures towards her stomach, giving him a half smile.

Blitz glances at her stomach, completely involuntary. He can’t see any visible change, but then again he hasn’t exactly paid attention to Millie’s weight or appearance before. He swallows, hesitating.

‘’Millie, I don’t know how to tell you this…but I don’t think me and Stolas are gonna be making any babies anytime soon.’’

Millie snorts, punching him again.

‘’Owww…’’ he whines again, grabbing his arm.

‘’You know what I mean.’’ Millie smirks, sinking down to his level, their shoulders touching.

‘’I’m just sayin’, connections can grow fast, and relationships can change fast. As long as you’re paying attention to each other, and communicate your own feelings, It’ll be fine.’’

Blitz takes a deep breath. ‘’What’s with the sudden advice?’’

Millie shifts slightly. ‘’It’s…I don’t know, I don’t think It’s anything serious, as I said…’’

‘’Millie, spit it out.’’ Blitz demands. She sighs.

‘’Stolas has been a little down today, I think. He’s improved so much during this last month, laughin’ and talkin’…but today he’s been quiet.’’ She turns her head to him, finding eye contact. ‘’I don’t think It’s anything serious I just…I think you should check on him when you get home, just in case.’’

Blitz’s stomach ties itself into a knot.

Fuck. What if Stolas is actually regretting the day before? What if he wants to move out?

Millie must notice his worried expression, because she suddenly has this look of empathy in her eyes that he doesn’t care for at all. He sits up on the couch, leaning forward to rest his elbows agains this knees.

‘’I…think he might just be having a bad day.’’ He tries, mostly trying to convince himself. Millie sits up beside him.

‘’I think so too, Blitz. Again, nothing to worry about, just…check in on him, will ya? Communication is key.’’

Blitz scoffs, but glances at her and smiles. ‘’Thanks, Mills. I will.’’

*

It’s just him and Stolas in the car on the way home. Moxxie came out from the bathroom grinning like an idiot, and revealed to Millie that they would be going on a date.

So, Blitz and Stolas are alone, and the car is dead silent except for the turned down radio, playing some old, scratchy love song.

Something is definitely wrong, and it takes all the strength in Blitz’s body not to pester Stolas with a thousand little questions before they get back home.

He can’t ask a bunch of shit in the car, he needs Stolas to feel safe and cared for before he hits him with anything he can’t handle.

When they get back to the apartment, Blitz sits Stolas down on the couch and cooks a big lunch for the both of them, some meat and mashed potatoes. When he’s done, he sits down beside Stolas and hands him a plate. Stolas takes it, and looks at it, smiling at him.

‘’This looks great, Blitz. Thank you.’’

Blitz smiles, relieved that Stolas is talking to him, at the very least. He can’t be too mad at him, in that case. But he does sound a little down in the dumps. Maybe it is just a bad day after all?

They eat for a moment in silence, Blitz gobbling down the food without much thought and Stolas eating it in small bites, but eating it nonetheless. After a while of eating, Blitz swallows down a mouthful of mash, and turns to Stolas.

‘’Uh…so how are you feeling today, Stolas?’’ he asks awkwardly, having no idea of how exactly to start this conversation. Stolas shrugs.

‘’I’m okay.’’

Blitz furrows his brows. That’s plainly not true. Stolas has definitely been in worse shape, but he’s also been better.

Fuck. It has to be the night before. No matter how much Blitz is trying to push the thought away, it’s still the most likely option. He woke up alone on the couch, with Stolas isolating himself in the bathroom.

Blitz takes a shaking breath, feeling like his body is going to burst open, revealing all the nervous, scared slop inside.

It’s so fucking scary to be vulnerable like this, to give someone else the power to crush you with just a word. But Stolas is worth it, he knows he is. They’ve sacrificed their lives for each other, they’ll make it through this as well.

‘’If…if you regret what happened yesterday then…just tell me, please? If you need space, I’ll give it to you! Me and Loona can take into a hotel, if you want-‘’

Stolas shakes his head. ‘’No! No, Blitz, that’s…that’s not it at all. I don’t regret anything we did yesterday.’’ He smiles reassuringly. ‘’I am sorry if I’ve been a little down today I just…’’ he looks down, hesitating. ‘’I just miss Via, I think.’’

Blitz nods, accepting the answer even though he’s almost certain that It’s something else. However, he’ll just have to trust Stolas’ words that he doesn’t regret anything.

It’s as Millie said, communication is great or whatever.

They sit for a while, watching a telenovela that Stolas has informed him he likes. Blitz recognizes it as something he sometimes watches when hungover, but he never really paid attention to the story until now. It’s actually rather interesting, but he would sooner die than admit that to anyone.

After a while, he goes to the kitchen to do the dishes, with the show still on in the background.

When he’s done, he walks back to the couch, planning to ask Stolas whether he wants to go out somewhere tonight, or if he just wants to take a afternoon stroll through the town. However, he’s stopped in his tracks when he sees Stolas face.

It’s slightly scrunched, with tearfilled eyes. Stolas is clearly struggling not to cry.

‘’Stolas?’’ he asks, voice soft and worried. Stolas looks at him, surprised, and quickly wipes his eyes.

‘’Are you okay?’’

‘’Y-yes! Yes! I just…the show…’’ Stolas tries, vaguely gesturing towards the tv. Blitz looks at it, unconvinced since It’s currently playing a toothpaste commercial.

‘’Stols, if you’re upset about something you can tell me, you know?’’ he sits down on the other end of the couch, carefully observing his bird. ‘’Do you want to talk about it?’’

Stolas shakes his head, tears now running down his cheeks as he sniffs softly. He’s so fucking cute, even when crying.

‘’Do you…want to be held?’’ Blitz asks, hoping Stolas won’t take the suggestion in the wrong way. Stolas shakes his head.

‘’No It’s…It’s just Via, I’ll get over it.’’

Blitz looks at him, concerned. He can’t force Stolas to talk if he doesn’t want to, all he can do is be supportive. He hesitates a moment, before standing up and walking into the kitchen, getting a box of tissues.

He sits down on the sofa, with a reasonable distance between them, and hands Stolas the box. The owl takes it, nodding to him.

‘’Th-thank you, Blitz.’’ He blows his beak into one of the tissues. ‘’You’re too nice to me.’’

Then, all of a sudden, Stolas starts bawling, as if what he just said was some sort of trigger.

Blitz reaches out for him, but stops himself when he remembers that Stolas doesn’t want to be held. Instead, he decides to lower himself onto the floor, and scootch over to sit by Stolas’ feet.

Somehow, he feels like Stolas does need some sort of closeness, just not of the intimate type.

They sit like that for about ten minutes, Stolas sobbing uncontrollably and creating a huge pile of tissues on the floor beside Blitz, and Blitz simply existing by his feet like some loyal guard dog, waiting for Stolas’ sobs to calm down.

When Stolas has gone almost completely quiet, save for a few sniffles and ragged breaths, Blitz carefully lifts himself up to the couch again, sitting a little closer to Stolas now. Stolas doesn’t protest, he simply looks into the empty tissue box, eyes half lidded.

Blitz puts his hand on Stolas’ knee, but Stolas pulls it away, wincing.

‘’Sorry I just…’’ Stolas murmurs, his voice hoarse. Blitz shakes his head.

‘’Don’t apologize. I won’t touch you unless you want me to.’’

Stolas’ face crumples again, but there’s no tears left. Instead he just breathes shakily, shaking his head.

‘’I do want you to touch me, Blitz. That’s the problem.’’

Blitz looks at him, completely lost.

‘’What?’’

Stolas shakes his head. ‘’It’s…It’s ridiculous. I just…I feel so guilty!’’ he looks at Blitz in earnest, his eyes desperate for him to understand. ‘’I want you, so badly. I love it when you…when you kiss me and hold me and I…’’

He lets out a shuddering breath.

‘’I shouldn’t! I’ve left my daughter, she hates me! And she hates our relationship, and she has all the right to! And yet, despite the shit I’ve done to her I…I still want you! Isn’t that just…messed up?’’

Blitz looks at him for a moment, having literally no idea what to say.

‘’No, Stolas, that’s- of course Octavia has the right to be angry, but…It’s not wrong for you to want to be happy!’’

Stolas looks down at his lap. ‘’Isn’t it, though? I used you, and you used me, and…I cheated on my wife, and I wasn’t there for my daughter! And now she’s pushed me away for it, she’s pushed me away because she thinks I’d rather live a life with you than with her!’’ he shakes his head. ‘’How can I not feel guilty for doing exactly what she expects of me? Aren’t I proving her right?’’

Blitz looks at him, a feeling of dread and guilt starting to bubble up in his own gut. He understands why Stolas feels this way, he really does, but he doesn’t agree with it. It’s not right, there’s nothing wrong with them being happy together, no matter how hurt Octavia feels. How does he phrase that in a way that doesn’t make him sound like a giant asshole?

‘’No, you’re not! You love her and…’’ he trails off, coughing.

Definitely can’t say that yet.

‘’…you have feelings for me. And that’s okay! Those things aren’t, like, mutually inclusive!’’

Stolas sniffs, cracking a small smile in the middle of everything. ‘’Mutually exclusive, Blitz.’’

‘’Whatever.’’ Blitz counters, smiling back. ‘’You get my point. Loving your daughter doesn’t mean you can’t be with me, and vice versa. I know Octavia feels…betrayed and abandoned by you, and that makes her feel like you traded her for me. But we both know that’s not true.’’ He reaches out to Stolas, who takes his hand.

‘’All we can do is wait and hope that she’ll come around, and when she does we’ll prove to her that we haven’t forgotten about her. Okay?’’

Stolas looks at him for a moment, finding security and trust in his eyes and melting at the sight of it. He smiles, squeezing Blitz’s hand.

‘’You…would be such a great father to her, Blitz.’’

Blitz swears that his heart fucking stops upon hearing that, and tears fill his eyes before he can even react to what Stolas just said. Stolas smiles even wider when he sees the tears, and lifts a hand up to Blitz’s face to stroke them away.

They sit for a while, watching the show until it ends. They don’t cuddle, but they sit side by side, fingers intertwined.

When the show ends, Stolas shuts the tv off, suddenly seeming nervous.

‘’I…wish to tell you something.’’ He says, and Blitz nods.

‘’Okay, I’m listening.’’

Stolas’ cheeks are beginning to turn suspiciously red, and Blitz swears the god that if he’s about to say something else that’s sappy and domestic, he’ll fucking combust.

‘’This morning…I took a shower.’’ He states, and Blitz looks at him, confused.

‘’Yeah? And?’’

Stolas’ face is now so red that he turns away and hides it, and Blitz honestly wonders what is about to come out of his mouth. Did he accidentally clog the drain with feathers or something?

‘’I…I showered because I felt…hot. I woke up with you wrapped around me and I just…’’ he looks at Blitz, his eyes big and vulnerable, cheeks burning. ‘’I’m so sorry, Blitz, I’m extremely embarrassed and disgusted with myself, I never meant to…I don’t want to use you that way, never again!’’

Blitz looks at him, brain completely blank.

Is Stolas seriously trying to insinuate what Blitz is thinking he is trying to insinuate?

‘’So wait…you showered cause you were like…horny?’’

Stolas whimpers and nods, hiding his face in his hands. ‘’And I’m so sorry! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I know you must be uncomfortable with-‘’

‘’What are you rambling about?’’ Blitz interrupts, genuinely confused. ‘’Why would I be uncomfortable? I get horny all the time, you know that!’’

‘’Y-yes, but not like…’’ Stolas takes a deep breath, still covering his face. ‘’I may have…in the bathtub, that is, I may have…imagined you. Doing things, to me. And I…I touched myself. And I felt so bad, because I know we haven’t…not since before our falling out…’’

His words come out like jumbled messes, and Blitz can’t help but laugh in pure astonishment. Stolas peeks through his talons at him, frowning.

‘’It’s not funny, Blitz!’’

Unfortunately, those words make Blitz laugh even harder, and Stolas is left staring at him, outraged and embarrassed.

‘’I’m…I’m so sorry!’’ Blitz manages to squeeze out between the laughter. ‘’I just… I wasn’t ready!’’

Stolas crosses his arms, turning his head away. ‘’You’re behaving like a child, Blitz!’’

Blitz giggles, covering his mouth and honestly trying to calm himself down.

‘’I’m sorry Stols, sorry. I just didn’t think…It’s not that serious, you know?’’

Stolas squawks, offended, and turns to him. ‘’Not that serious? It’s very serious! The very basis of our relationship used to be sex, don’t you remember?’’

Blitz breathes, finally managing to calm down. ‘’Oh, I remember.’’

Stolas rolls his eyes. ‘’Well I don’t want that, anymore!”

Blitz stops laughing, and looks up at him. ‘’What- no sex? Ever? I mean…I would be fine with that if-’’

‘’No! No, that’s not what I mean- I mean I don’t want to use you like that anymore! And having those feelings now, when we’ve just started being near each other again…It’s all too fast. I’m afraid that if I act on them, we might slip back into our own roles.’’ He looks at Blitz. ‘’Doesn’t that…scare you?’’

Blitz looks down at his knees, pondering for a while. Then he looks at Stolas.

‘’No, it doesn’t.’’

Stolas shakes his head. ‘’How can it not?’’

‘’I just…think we’ve changed a lot since then. I know it was only a few months ago but… I feel like we’ve grown a lot in those few months. Don’t you?’’

He lets out a puff of air through his nose.

‘’I mean, we’ve both risked our lives for each other, and now we’re living together. And sure, we still have issues, but we have time for that shit.’’

He takes Stolas’ hand, and meets those white pupils. ‘’We don’t have to do anything, not for several years if that’s what it takes. But having these feelings…that shit is normal! I mean, I wank it in that bathroom several times a week!’’

Stolas swallows, blushing. ‘’Thinking…of me?’’

Blitz looks away, shifting slightly. ‘’Sometimes.’’

Stolas lights up slightly at that. ‘’That’s…a relief to hear.’’ He sighs. ‘’I don’t know what’s gotten into me, today. I think it’s just…the newness of it all. I’ve wanted this-’’ he nods down at their hands. ‘’-with you for so long. I don’t know how to act now that I have it.’’

Blitz leans against Stolas’ arm, closing his eyes as he feels his body relax.

‘’You don’t have to act at all, If you don’t want. Just…go with what feels right, and be sure to tell me if something doesn’t, okay?’’

Stolas nods, leaning down and kissing one of his horns. Blitz shivers.

‘’When did you get so smart, Blitz?’’

‘’Hey!’’ Blitz responds, giving him a side eye. Then he smiles, and closes his eyes again. ‘’It’s Millie. We talked about…talking, today.’’

‘’Interesting.’’ Stolas replies, stroking his arm lazily. ‘’I’ve talked to her as well. About us.’’

Blitz opens his eyes, sitting up. ‘’Really?’’

Stolas laughs. ‘’Yes. I reckon she knows a lot about us.’’

Blitz swears, shaking his head. ‘’That nosy bitch! What did you tell her?’’

Stolas smirks. ‘’That’s private, darling.’’

Blitz leans back against the couch. ‘’That damn woman.’’ He smiles to himself. ‘’I hope everything turns out okay for her and Mox.’’

Stolas nods in agreement. ‘’I hope so too.’’

Chapter 8: Good news

A month passes, and things finally start feeling a bit more…normal. The strange, eerie feeling that the trial left behind is gone, replaced with a comforting normalcy that they all seem to be enjoying.

Stolas still gets sad sometimes, but his mood slowly but surely improves. He settles into the daily routine at I.M.P, and having a mission and a purpose seems to help a whole lot. He has a lot of work cut out for him, after all, since business at I.M.P is booming.

Blitz has started looking into potentially hiring more assassins for the company, now that Millie can’t work and Moxxie might potentially disappear if they keep the baby. It’s a hard feat, though, because his expectations are set sky high because of Millie.

Loona has started leaving the apartment more, she’s barely home save from in the mornings before work. It saddens Blitz a little, to see his daughter less, but at the same time he knows that she’s grown up and has a life of her own. Also, he understands that she must feel cramped in the tiny apartment, being tied to her room when him and Stolas are around.

Blitz and Stolas’ relationship has never been better. They have mutually agreed to take things ‘’slow’’, but the definition of slow is kind of hazy, and they both like it that way.

What started out as light kissing has turned into longer, deeper make out sessions, and they’ve now made a habit out of sleeping on the couch together, despite how cramped it is.

They’ve gone out on some smaller dates, like to cafés and shops (carefully avoiding the one they stole from of course). They haven’t had a proper dinner date yet, however, as it is still a touchy subject after their disaster at Ozzie's.

Blitz is still saving up courage and money to try and make that night up to Stolas, however.

One morning while everyone in the office is getting ready for the day, Millie suddenly calls everyone to a meeting. Blitz is interrupted in the middle of packing weapons in his office.

‘’Can everyone come to the front desk, please! I have somethin’ to tell yall.’’

Blitz groans, looking up at Stolas who is reading papers at his desk, white pupils darting from side to side with impressive speed as he reads through the document in front of him.

Fuck, he’s hot.

‘’Stols, Millie’s calling a meeting.’’ Blitz informs him, kissing him on his forehead. Stolas blinks and looks up, surprised.

‘’What?’’

‘’A meeting.’’ Blitz replies, nodding towards the half open office door. Something he has learned about Stolas during these two months of working with him, is that once he’s reading, he can’t hear anything else around him. It’s kind of funny.

‘’Oh, okay.’’ Stolas replies, almost reluctantly standing up and leaving his beloved paperwork on the desk. ‘’About what?’’

‘’We’ll see when we get there.’’ Blitz replies, already halfway out the office.

Blitz, Loona and Stolas all gather around the desk where Millie is sitting. Moxxie is standing behind her, looking like he’s about to throw up. Blitz immediately feels a twinge of nervousness.

Oh shit, is this it? Have they made a decision?

Millie clears her throat. ‘’Hi, sorry for callin’ a meetin’ in the middle of everything. Me and Moxxie would just like to announce something.’’ She looks at Moxxie, smiling at him. He gives her a nervous smile back.

The air in the room immediately shifts from confused to suspenseful. Even Loona seems to be holding her breath in anticipation, even if she tries hard to look unbothered.

Millie takes a deep breath. ‘’We…we’ve decided to keep the baby.’’

There is silence following the statement, and then Stolas claps his talons fervently and lets out a loud, excited ‘’squawk’’ sound, and opens his arms to embrace Millie over the desk. She gratefully accepts his hug, laughing. Stolas then moves on to Moxxie, who hugs back as well, looking rather dazed.

‘’Oh how marvelous! You’re going to be such amazing parents, I just know it!’’ Stolas chatters, tears in his voice. Moxxie smiles at him, tears gleaming in his eyes as well.

‘’Really? You think so?’’ he asks, choked up on emotions.

‘’Absolutely!’’ Stolas replies, going in for another hug. It ends with them clinging to each other and crying uncontrollably, Stolas kneeling down on the floor to reach him.

Blitz, Millie and Loona stare at the two men in disbelief for a little while, then Loona shakes her head, and walks around the desk to give Millie a hearty pat on the back.

‘’Congrats.’’

Millie smiles up at her. ‘’Thanks, Loona.’’

‘’Yeah, congrats Mills!’’ Blitz agrees, hugging her as well.

‘’Thank you.’’ She mumbles into his shoulder, squeezing him hard. ‘’I’m a bit scared, if I’m gonna be honest.’’ She admits as they pull away from each other.

‘’I think that’s pretty fucking understandable.’’ Blitz replies. ‘’But you know what? I think you’ll kill it. In a good way.’’ He looks up at Moxxie, who’s still crying in Stolas’ arms. ‘’You and Moxxie both.’’

Millie smiles too, watching them with him. ‘’Yeah. He’s going to be great.’’

‘’So are you, dipshit.’’ Loona chimes in, making both Blitz and Millie turn their heads. She rolls her eyes at them, adding:

‘’Congrats again. I’m gonna prepare for the mission.’’ And with that, she’s off to the bathroom.

Blitz, Stolas, Millie and Moxxie continue to talk for a while about the pregnancy and how everything is going to turn out. They bring up their future in the company, how they’re gonna make the economy go around, what in the seven rings of hell the baby is to be called, and other things relating to the subject.

At last, It’s Loona that has to pull everyone out of their chattering and get them going for the mission.

*

When the afternoon rolls around, Stolas hears the sound of the portal opening outside the office, and smiles to himself. Blitz must be back.

He is well aware that his boyfriend knows what he’s doing on missions, and that he is very skilled with a gun. It doesn’t stop him from worrying every time he goes on a mission, though, and Millie’s stories of their adventures together hasn’t calmed him a bit.

Therefore, every time Blitz gets back from a mission, Stolas can finally relax for the day.

He hears Millie greet him, and feels excitement rise in his chest, waiting for Blitz to peek into the office. He always checks on him after missions, sitting down on the desk and staining the paperwork with blood while he talks Stolas through whatever heinous crime they had just committed.

However, when Stolas’ hears footsteps coming towards him and looks up to greet the imp, he’s instead met with Loona’s face peeking in through the door. He raises his eyebrows.

‘’Oh! Hello, Loona.’’ He says. She nods at him, stepping into the office and closing the door behind her. He looks at it, curiously.

‘’I need to talk to you for a moment, alone.’’ She states, sounding a bit wary. Stolas starts feeling a little nervous.

‘’Is…is it about Blitz?’’ a thousand thoughts suddenly races through his mind, and he stands up. ‘’He’s not hurt, is he?’’

Loona scoffs, rolling her eyes. ‘’No, you simp. It’s not about Blitz.’’

She walks over to the desk, and shoves all the unread paperwork onto the floor, sitting down in It’s place. Stolas sits down and stares sadly at the scattered papers on the floor.

‘’I left the mission early, both because it was fucking easy and they didn’t need me, but also because…I needed to talk to you about Octavia.’’

Stolas’ pupils slowly make their way from the papers to Loona, shock plain in his features.

‘’Please…don’t tell me she’s hurt? Have you talked to her?’’ he swallows, the questions are too much to fit through his throat. ‘’Is she…is she okay?’’

Loona frowns, but her eyes are sympathetic. She put a paw on his shoulder. ‘’Calm down, old man. She’s fine.’’

She sighs, leaning back on the desk. ‘’I’ve been texting her, and we’ve met up a few times too, during this last month. She’s a nice kid.’’

She eyes him, waiting to see if he’s going to continue freaking out. He doesn’t, he keeps all the questions inside, wanting to hear what she has to say. She continues:

‘’She’s hurt, and based on what she’s said…I don’t love the way you’ve treated her.’’

Stolas looks down into his lap, shame heavy on his shoulders.

Loona is right to criticize him, he has made his daughter feel like she isn’t his priority, and no good parent would ever do such a thing to their child.

‘’However.’’ Loona continues. ‘’Her beef isn’t mine, and I’m not here to yell at you.’’

Stolas looks up at her, nodding. ‘’Alright.’’

Loona shifts her position on the desk slightly. ‘’I’m here because…Octavia wanted me to tell you that she’ll get in touch. Eventually.’’

Stolas stares at her, tears forming in his eyes. His chest is suddenly filled with a happiness that he hasn’t felt in Satan knows how long, and he smiles at Loona. ‘’Really? You’re…you’re absolutely sure?’’

Loona gives him a half smile. ‘’Yeah, I’m sure.’’ Her face changes, and she gives him a serious look. ‘’She wanted me to clarify to you that it wouldn’t be soon, though. She doesn’t know how long it’ll take before she’s ready, it might be months, a year…and she also clarified that this doesn’t mean she forgives you, either. She just wants to talk.’’

Stolas is fully crying now, nodding at Loona’s words.

‘’Oh my sweet Via…thank you, thank you so much for telling me, for…checking in on her when I couldn’t.’’

Loona nods uncomfortably. ‘’You’ve got a nice kid, so don’t fuck it up, kay?’’

Stolas nods, smiling at her. ‘’I…I won’t, I promise.’’ He rubs his eyes, letting out a shaky breath. ‘’Would you…convey a message back to her, if you don’t mind?’’

Loona sighs. ‘’I’m not some fucking messenger, you know.’’

‘’Right. I apologize.’’

She tilts her head, looking at the teary mess of an owl. ‘’What’s the message?’’

Stolas looks up at her hopefully, smiling. ‘’Just…tell her that I love her, if you ever have the time.’’

Loona smiles. ‘’Okay.’’

He stands up, trying to give her a hug. She pushes him away, however, and punches him on the arm instead. He grabs it, wincing as she jumps off the desk and makes her way to the door.

‘’Take care, birdbrain.’’

She glances at him one last time before walking out and closing the door behind her.

As soon as she’s gone, Stolas breaks down on his desk, sobbing with gratitude and relief.

His daughter might not ever forgive him, but at least he’ll get to see her at least once again. He’s going to be able to see if she’s grown, what clothes she is wearing, if she has changed her eyeshadow at all…

A sob runs through him, and he shudders.

His beloved, precious daughter. She’ll probably turn into an adult before he sees her, and it pains him more than anything that he can’t be with her as she makes that change. Still, just the fact that he gets to see her…

When Blitz eventually does get back from the mission, he walks into the office to see Stolas still sobbing on his desk, not even noticing him. He runs around the desk and stands beside his bird, putting a hand on his shoulder.

‘’Stolas? Are you okay? Are you hurt? What’s happening?’’ he asks, voice panicked.

Stolas looks up at him, only seeing Blitz as a blob of different colors due to the tears in his eyes. He smiles widely at him.

‘’I-I’m…Octavia…Loona told me that she wants to talk to me eventually.’’

Blitz gasps, immediately taking him into his arms, holding him tight. Stolas buries his teary, snotty face into Blitz’s shoulder, knowing he won’t mind. He smells of blood and gunpowder, but Stolas doesn’t mind that either.

‘’Stolas that’s…that’s amazing!’’ Blitz says, voice filled with excitement. ‘’I knew she’d come around.’’ He plants a kiss on Stolas’ head, nuzzling his nose into his feathers. ‘’I’m so happy.’’

‘’Me too.’’ Stolas whispers.

It takes a while for him to collect himself, but once he does, they pull away from each other and Blitz gets some napkins for him.

‘’I’m so glad she’s coming around.’’ Blitz remarks as Stolas blows his beak into the napkin. ‘’But…how the fuck did Loona know about that? Have they talked?’’

Stolas blows his beak one more time and nods. ‘’Yes…Loona told me that they’ve apparently been texting and meeting up during the past month.’’

Blitz furrows his eyebrows. ‘’Then…why didn’t she tell us about it?’’

Stolas shrugs. ‘’It’s none of our business, who she spends her time with.’’

He straightens his back. ‘’Besides, I’m happy she didn’t tell me earlier. I would just have been a nuisance to her, asking her all sorts of things all the time. And then, maybe Octavia wouldn’t have wanted to spend time with her anymore.’’

Blitz nods. ‘’Yeah…that kinda checks.’’ He shakes his head, leaning against the desk, suddenly looking a bit nervous. ‘’Anyway…It’s been kind of a lot today, right? With Millie’s announcement, and now this…’’

Stolas nods excitedly. ‘’Yes, It’s been a lot to take it but ultimately, It’s been good news!’’ He laughs, wiping away a leftover tear. ‘’I would be lying if I said it wasn’t draining, though.’’

Blitz smiles, taking his hand. ‘’Would you consider today…something worth celebrating?’’

Stolas looks at him, feeling excitement starting to build in his chest.

‘’Absolutely! Are you…thinking of something?’’

Blitz nods.

‘’I…may or may not have booked dinner at a restaurant this weekend!’’ he tells Stolas nervously. ‘’Originally it was just to celebrate us…you know, getting closer or whatever, but now we have even more to celebrate. If…if you don’t want to, It’s-‘’

‘’Are you asking med on a date?’’ Stolas asks, smiling widely as his heart starts beating faster. He has looked forward to this moment since he moved in to the apartment. Blitz swallows.

‘’Yes, I am.’’

Stolas smile widens, and he embraces Blitz yet again, kissing him on the mouth in the process.

Blitz gives a surprised yelp, but kisses back almost immediately, putting his hand on the side of Stolas’ face like he always does. Stolas melts into his touch as if Blitz is a warm bed he’s been longing to sleep in.

Things are finally looking up, after all.

Notes:

Alright, this isn't super relevant, but I just want to put this out there so that there are no misunderstandings:

I fully support abortion and AFAB people's right to choose over their own bodies. If you don't agree with that, you can GTFO.

Me deciding that Millie keeps the child in this fanfic does NOT mean I think that is the ''right'' choice to make. I will support whatever decision she might make in the show, and any decision that AFAB people make in real life as well.

I only decided for Millie to keep the baby in this fanfic because I didn't want to include an entire abortion arc, but I didn't want to ignore the dilemma the show presented either. Abortion is a very important issue for me as a person with a uterus, and so if I would have included it it would have to be a chapter on It's own altogether. I didn't want that, since Millie's pregnancy isn't a big focal point in this fanfiction, so her choosing to keep the child for the sake of the plot just seemed like the right decision to make here.

Again, this isn't super relevant but I just wanted to put it out there.

Now, continue reading!

Chapter 9: A night to remember

Notes:

Warning - this is the chapter with a LONG smut scene in it. As previously mentioned, you can skip it if you don't want to read it.

The start as well as the end of the smut scene will be marked by a bold sentence, formatted like this:

-Start of smut scene-

-End of smut scene-

As mentioned in the description of this fanfic, you will not miss anything but sex if you skip this scene, so don't worry.

Carry on!

Blitz is stupidly nervous, which is dumb, considering him and Stolas have spent the last few months practically glued together.

However, he can’t help that his legs are shaking in anticipation as he waits on the sofa for Stolas to emerge from the bathroom.

He wants this date to be perfect.

Stolas has already informed him several times that it will be perfect no matter what, because they’re together and that’s what counts. But Blitz wants it to be special, he wants this to be a night that Stolas will remember for the rest of his life, a night that he will think about when shit gets tough.

Maybe he’s being too ambitious, but he has to at least try to make it all perfect. It is the least that Stolas deserves. Blitz owes him so much, and he intends to do his best to give as much as he can every day.

The sound of a door opening catches his attention, and he turns to look at his owl. Instead of looking, however, he ends up staring.

Stolas is dressed in a loose fitting, black velvet shirt and tight, black jeans. He’s put on some eyeliner and some glittery shit on his eyelids, and Blitz simply cannot look away.

‘’Fuck, Stols, you look…you look hot.’’ Blitz blurts, swallowing thickly.

This is going to be a long ass night.

Stolas laughs, and the prettiest blush covers his cheeks. ‘’Thank you, Blitz. You look good, too.’’

Blitz looks down at his own clothes; some old white shirt and dark grey torn jeans that he found laying around in his closet.

‘’Yeah, right. Thanks.’’ He responds sarcastically but smiles at Stolas. ‘’Ready to go?’’

The excitement is gleaming in Stolas’ eyes and radiating off him in waves, and it makes Blitz want to cling to him like a damn leech and never let go. He settles for holding his hand, however, and they head out the door.

The restaurant Blitz has booked is located in gluttony, so It’s not that far. It’s owned by Beelzebub, but Blitz made sure with Loona that the sin wouldn’t be there tonight.

The last thing he needs on this very important date is someone they know hanging over them and teasing them again. That is just a recipe for disaster.

The car ride there is pleasant, both of them are nervous and excited, chatting about everything and nothing.

Blitz talks about some overly expensive knife collection he saw online. It is customizable, which means that Blitz could choose horses as a motif, something that makes Stolas sigh and shake his head.

Stolas himself, on the other hand, gets just as nerdy when it comes to books. He talks for almost ten minutes about a single page of a book he read about turtles, whereupon the color hues of the turtles scales were described in agonizing detail.

When they arrive, Blitz stops Stolas from getting out of the car, and jumps out of his side. He runs around the hood and opens Stolas’ door for him, reaching his hand out.

Stolas beams at him, and takes his hand.

‘’My, you’re such a gentleman, Blitz.’’

Blitz grins. ‘’Didn’t think I had it in me, did you?’’

Stolas laughs. ‘’Yes, actually.’’ He bends down and pecks one of his horns. ‘’I think I’ve known it from the start.’’

Blitz scoffs and shakes his head. ‘’That’s bullshit, and we both know it. I used to treat you like shit.’’

Stolas shrugs. ‘’Well, I liked it at least half of the time.’’

They share a laugh as they enter the restaurant, hand in hand.

People stare at them, just like they always do, and they keep ignoring it. It’s something they’ve had to learn together, to ignore what other people think and feel about their relationship.

By this point, It’s become general knowledge that the imp who managed to avoid execution is dating the Goetia who publicly ridiculed him and his race on tv. Since neither of them are very well known, there was no huge scandal, but they receive quite a lot of stares and are a daily point of debate for the inbred chucklefucks on the forums.

It doesn’t matter. Business is still booming for I.M.P, and their relationship is proving to be more stable and functioning by the day, something Blitz would have never imagined for himself. But here they are, sitting across from each other in a big, fancy restaurant.

Blitz looks around a little, thinking that the semi-steep prize was most definitely worth it for the view alone.

Everything is food themed, from the lava lamps on the table who’s moving blobs of lava forms into apples and pears, to the giant bar in the middle of the restaurant, formed like a big glass chalice of beer.

Blitz looks at Stolas, distracted by the way his feathers reflect the yellowish light and how his red eyes gleam with the lights in the ceiling, making them resemble galaxies.

Fuck, he’s such a god damned cringy little simp.

Stolas turns to him and smiles knowingly when he discovers that Blitz is already observing him.

‘’Darling, have you looked at the menu yet?’’

Blitz blinks. ‘’No.’’

Stolas’ smile widens. The dumb bird knows exactly what he’s been looking at.

‘’No? Then however will you order when the waiter comes?’’

Blitz mutters something under his breath and looks down at the menu, scanning it. He finds a dish quite quickly, and shortly after the waiter comes to take their orders.

The evening progresses just as planned, and Blitz is honestly relieved at just how smooth everything is, and how fucking right it feels.

Stolas is so breathtakingly beautiful in front him, laughing and glowing in the light of the restaurant. Blitz has a hard time eating, because he can’t stop eating Stolas with his eyes.

Stolas remarks on it several times during the evening, and Blitz feels himself blush each time.

If this had been a year ago, he would be dying of shame and self-hatred right now. If Stolas only so much as insinuated that he liked him as anything more than a cheap fuck, he would have gone into a hissy fit.

But now…

Blitz has never considered himself as the marriage type, never. He has never in a lifetime believed that he would tie himself to someone that indefinitely. Marriage has seemed like a prison sentence to him. But now, something must have seriously cracked in his brain, because someone could quite literally handcuff him to Stolas for the rest of his life, and he would be happy as a clam.

He would be lying if he said he hadn’t already started looking at rings. He wouldn’t buy one of course, not yet. But in due time…

He smiles at Stolas, eyes half lidded.

This has to be the night, it just has to. They’ve lived together for two months, they’ve talked countless times, cried together, watched shows together, worked together… they’ve even formally decided that they are officially partners now.

Tonight, Blitz has to tell Stolas that he loves him. Because he fucking does, and It’s so painfully obvious to everyone around him.

It has been obvious for a while, Millie told him. In fact, he was probably the last person to know. He had given her a fat middle finger for saying that, but he knew she was right.

However, if It’s happening tonight, It’s not happening at the restaurant. It’s happening at home, no matter if that isn’t romantic enough or not. He needs Stolas to be able to respond with his honest reaction, not some watered down version to avoid showing emotion in public.

He knows Stolas loves grand gestures, and he’ll get grand gestures for the rest of his life if he wants them, but not tonight, not with this. It needs to be secure, safe, private…

‘’How was your food, Blitz?’’

Blitz looks up, realizing he’s been staring at his plate for a while. He quickly assembles some food on his fork, sticking it into his mouth, chewing and swallowing.

‘’Sorry! It’s delicious, I just… I have a lot on my mind, I guess.’’

Stolas tilts his head, taking a bite of his roasted vole.

‘’What are you thinking about, if you don’t mind me asking?’’

Blitz swallows. Great, what the fuck is he supposed to answer now? He wants to keep some semblance of surprise, even though the confession itself most likely isn’t that surprising.

‘’Uh…I was…planning something.’’ He answers. ‘’I can’t tell you what it is, yet.’’

Stolas raises his eyebrows, breaking into a smile. ‘’Oh? Well, in that case I’ll have you know that I’m planning something as well, that you aren’t aware of.’’

Blitz looks at him, wondering if they’ve planned the same thing.

‘’What’s your thing?’’ He asks, not really expecting to get an answer but deciding to try anyway.

Stolas shakes his head, laughing. ‘’No, no, Blitzy. You’ll just have to wait and see.’’

Blitz smiles at the nickname. It has begun slipping out of Stolas more and more often. At first, Stolas was petrified, ranting about how sorry he was and that he never wants to call Blitz that again considering how demeaning he had been with the name previously.

To prevent a total meltdown from Stolas, Blitz gave up yet another piece of his self-worth and admitted that he had missed the nickname, despite how many times he had told Stolas previously that he didn’t like it.

The thing was, he had never disliked the name itself, only the condescending way Stolas had used it. So, with a little bit of talking and convincing, it has begun to appear more frequently between them again.

‘’Fine.’’ Blitz replies, and they continue eating and conversing.

Sometime during the meal, Blitz reaches his hand out, nudging Stolas’ talons. Stolas looks up at him, smiles and intertwines their fingers, sending electric currents throughout Blitz’s body.

He cannot for the life of him understand how he was so afraid to feel this, how he actively pushed this away when it is one of the most wonderful things he has ever experienced.

When they’ve finished their respective meals, Blitz pays the bill, despite protests from Stolas, and they head out of the restaurant for a stroll through a park in the city.

Stolas isn’t royalty anymore, which means that assassins are less likely to follow him. Still, Blitz keeps a gun in his pocket at all times when they’re out together and has even started giving Stolas shooting lessons so that he can walk safely by himself eventually as well.

However, the night is still, and the park is bathed in the moonlight and the orange glow of the city. Stolas is ranting about something he has read in the newspaper, describing the article in that long winded, overly detailed way of his.

Blitz can’t do anything but listen and nod, smiling every time Stolas looks at him because he honestly has no control over it.

After a while, the air gets a little chilly, and Blitz throws his jacket over Stolas’ shoulder, smiling at him and putting his arms around his waist.

‘’Are you satisfied with the night?’’

Stolas beams at him, pulling the jacket tighter around himself. ‘’Very.’’

‘’Wanna head back to the apartment, then?’’ Blitz asks. ‘’Get you warmed up?’’

Something twinkles in Stolas’ eyes, and he looks away, a blush covering his cheeks.

‘’Actually, Blitz I…remember that I said I have something planned?’’

Blitz nods, feeling his heart speed up in his chest. ‘’Yeah?’’

‘’Well…I used my first salary to book us a hotel room for the night!’’ Stolas says, blush deepening. ‘’I did it as soon as you told me we were going out, I hope you don’t mind.’’

Blitz stares at him, feeling his own cheeks grow hot at the prospects of a shared bed, privacy…

‘’We- we don’t need to do anything!’’ Stolas quickly adds. ‘’I just…I thought a good nights sleep in a real bed would do us both some good.’’

Blitz nods, trying to suppress the very large quantity of unholy images currently crowding his head.

‘’Of course. I…thank you, Stolas. That sounds wonderful.’’

He steps in front of his boyfriend, standing on his toes, heavily indicating that he wants a kiss. Stolas obliges, reaching down and kissing him softly. When they pull apart and start walking back to the car again, Stolas nudges him lightly in the side.

‘’What plan are you hiding? I sure hope I didn’t ruin it with this…’’

Blitz shakes his head, anxiety boiling in his stomach. ‘’No, it doesn’t ruin anything. You’ll see what it is.’’

‘’How mysterious.’’ Stolas answers, smiling. ‘’I’m excited.’’

The drive to the hotel is much the same as the one to the restaurant, Stolas talks, and Blitz listens and answers while keeping an eye on the hps-tracker. They arrive safe and sound, and Blitz only scrapes two cars while parallel parking outside.

The hotel isn’t huge, but It’s not small either. It has three stars, which is at least two stars more than Blitz is used to. They get their keys at the reception, and Blitz is briefly reminded of his post-break up freakout as Bethany Ghostfucker. He shudders at the thought and makes a silent promise to himself to never tell Stolas about it.

Their room is medium sized. The interior isn’t anything to gawk at, but It’s stylish enough. Besides, it isn’t the interior design that Blitz is interested in, It’s the bed.

As soon as they get in, he runs full force and throws himself on top of it, inhaling the scent of clean sheets. Stolas hoots at him.

‘’I suppose you want to crawl into bed immediately?’’

Blitz groans. ‘’Yes please…’’

‘’Alright.’’ Stolas answers, putting down the bag he brought from the car down on the floor beside him. He zips it open, and holds up Blitz’s pajama pants and yellow horse hoodie that he sometimes wears when sleeping. ‘’Do you want to change into these?’’

Blitz sits up, eyes shining. ‘’Yes! Fuck, Stols you’re a genius!’’

He immediately jumps out of the bed, taking the clothes from Stolas’ hands and not hesitating for a minute before ripping his pants and shirt off, putting on the pajama pants and hoodie excitedly. When he’s done, he turns to Stolas and poses jokingly.

‘’What do you think?’’

He awaits a reaction, but Stolas is dead quiet. Blitz looks at him, confused.

Stolas’ face is beet red, his pupils large and focused on him as if he’s going to pounce. Blitz looses the pose.

‘’Uh…Stols?’’

Stolas shakes his head, and his pupils go back to normal, though still on the larger side.

‘’Oh! Sorry, I uh…sorry! I’ll…’’ he points at the bag, and scrambles to pick up some sleeping clothes of his own. ‘’I…the bathroom.’’ He blurts, rushing into the bathroom by the door, locking himself inside.

Blitz stares at the spot where Stolas stood.

Did he do something wrong? Did Stolas get food poisoning or something? They hadn’t even checked the bathroom out yet, what if it was dirty or something? Blitz hopes not, and shrugs it all off, jumping into the cozy bed.

Fuck, he could just fall asleep in it right now, nuzzled into Stolas and the soft sheets. He wraps himself up in the blanket on the bed, sighing contentedly.

After a few moments, Stolas emerges from the bathroom, and Blitz looks over at him, smiling.

He’s wearing a big, blue night shirt that Blitz was able to buy for him this time, and a pair of shorts that Loona gave him since she didn’t use them anymore.

‘’Feeling better?’’ Blitz asks. Stolas blushes again, walking towards the bed.

‘’What do you mean?’’

Blitz looks at him skeptically. ‘’You ran to the bathroom pretty fast, so I assumed you didn’t feel well.’’

Stolas sits down with his back facing him, ruffling through the feathers on his head, and smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt, anything but looking at Blitz.

Blitz feels worry stir in his stomach. What is actually going on?

‘’Stolas? You…would tell me if something was wrong, right?’’

Stolas sighs, shoulders rising up and tensing before falling down again. ‘’Yes.’’

Blitz nods. ‘’So, you are going to tell me what’s wrong, then? Because I can tell that something is off.’’

Stolas’ tenses up notably, and turns to him, eyes downcast. Blitz scans them for any sign of tears or sadness, but instead they look embarrassed and shameful, and Stolas’ face is still dusted pink.

‘’Sorry I just…when you changed your clothes so sudden I wasn’t…’’ he trails off, cursing under his breath.

‘’Oh, fuck. I’m so sorry, did I make you uncomfortable? Too soon for me to do that? Because if so It’s okay, I can just sleep in the-‘’

‘’No, I- I want you to touch me, Blitz!’’

Stolas confesses, face burning hot and red. ‘’I…I want you to bed me tonight, if…if that’s something you want as well.’’

Blitz stares at him unblinking, mouth remaining slightly open. He swallows thickly, head suddenly swampy with those same thoughts from back in the park.

‘’Are…are you sure?’’

Stolas looks at him, nodding. ‘’Yes.’’

Blitz nods, feeling like his entire body is going to combust with pent up excitement, nervousness, lust…

‘’That could…be arranged.’’ He responds, his brain turning into literal fucking mush.

He no longer feels like he could sleep. He is fully awake and super fucking aware of everything around him, especially Stolas.

‘’Really?’’ Stolas asks, turning fully towards him now, legs opening slightly. And Blitz stares, like a crazy, rabid animal.

‘’Fuck yes.’’ Blitz responds, and without hesitation he throws himself onto Stolas, who yelps as they fall down into the mattress, laughing.

 

-Start of smut scene. Scroll down to the next BOLD sentence if you want to skip-

 

Blitz is breathing heavily into Stolas’ open mouth, his brain cloudy and slow. His entire body is on fire, and the smallest movement of Stolas’ body between his legs makes him want to whimper like a pathetic fucking virgin.

It has been too damn long, and yet he’s so happy they waited, because it feels so right.

It has always felt good with Stolas, even before he fell for him. There is just something about him that always satisfied him, no matter how obnoxious he found the bird in the beginning.

But now…

Not even during their best sessions had he ever felt like this, and they haven’t even begun yet. He’s going to have to concentrate real hard in order not to bust immediately like some pent up incel.

Stolas moans into his mouth, laying down on top of him and holding his upper body up with his arms. They’re shaking and Blitz grabs one of them, squeezing. Stolas pulls away from him, and looks at him, eyes heavy and glowing with lust, pupils large and glazed over.

Blitz stares into those eyes, feeling all the blood in his head rushing downwards.

He used to avoid eye contact as much as possible during their sessions, which wasn’t that hard considering Stolas’ pupils weren’t visible half of the time, save for when he was coming.

Now It’s considerably harder to avoid his gaze, since they are visible constantly. And fuck if it doesn’t turn Blitz on. He could stare into those white pupils for hours.

Stolas looks down between them, and looks up again at Blitz, smiling.

‘’Someone’s happy to see me, it seems.’’

Blitz throws his head back and groans. ‘’You have no fucking idea.’’

Stolas laughs softly, and begins to lower himself down Blitz’s body, kissing him on the way.
When he reaches the end of his shirt, he pulls it up slightly, looking to Blitz for consent. Blitz sits up and hauls the shirt over his head without hesitation, goosebumps appearing on his skin as the cool air hits him.

Stolas looks at him as if he’s some kind of treasure, and lifts one of his sharp talons, dragging it over Blitz’s chest, circling his nipple. Blitz sucks in a breath, hips bucking into Stolas’ chest. He throws his head back, breathing heavily.

Stolas is being a real fucking tease, and Blitz has missed that side of him so fucking much.

After a while of Stolas kissing and nibbling at his chest and stomach, he finally reaches the waistband of his pants, placing his talons on each side of Blitz’s hips, looking up at him. Blitz meets his eyes, pressure building in his abdomen as his tail swishes impatiently on his side.

‘’Before we…go any further, I just want to double check…you are okay with this, yes?’’ Stolas asks, as polite as ever. Blitz bites back a frustrated groan.

Yes, he’s super fucking horny and desperate to be touched, but consent and communication is really important, especially if they want to avoid ending up in the same roles as before. So, he takes a deep breath and nods.

‘’Yes. Super fucking okay.’’

Stolas smiles up at him, a gorgeous crimson color decorating his face. ‘’Okay. I’m happy to hear that.’’

‘’And you?’’ Blitz asks, though he hardly has to, considering the absolutely sinful look in Stolas’ eyes right now.

‘’There’s nothing I’d rather do.’’ Stolas coos, and then his talons dig into the sides of Blitz’s pants and boxers, and he pulls them both down.

Blitz shivers from the sudden cold air around his now exposed dick, and squirms impatiently under Stolas’ body.

Suddenly, he feels strangely vulnerable, but so fucking good at the same time. It’s a feeling he’s never felt before, and he relishes it quietly within himself. Usually he’s the forward and rough one, not Stolas. This could turn out to be interesting.

He looks down at his owl, who looks back at him, smiling before wrapping his talons around Blitz’s leaking cock, squeezing slightly and stroking the precum over the sharp tip. Blitz lets out a shaky breath.

‘’Did…did you bring any lube? Protection?’’ he asks, the thought hitting him suddenly and blending some worry into the hot pool of warmth already gathered in his nether regions.

Stolas looks away towards the bag, his blush deepening.

‘’Yes, actually…just in case.’’

Blitz laughs. ‘’Of course you did, you horny bitch.’’ He looks down at Stolas to see if the teasing nickname was okay, and based on the way he smiles and squirms it seems to be more than welcome.

‘’What other fun stuff did you bring, huh, pretty bird?’’ Blitz continues, finding some semblance of normalcy in how Stolas usually likes to be addressed during sex.

Stolas shivers at the name, and Blitz smirks, feeling pleased with himself.

‘’I…I might have…bought some things.’’ He replies quietly, talons still playing with the tip of Blitz’s cock.

‘’Oh?’’ Blitz responds, having to grit his teeth in order not to make sounds at the way Stolas is touching him. ‘’Like what?’’

Stolas blushes and looks down, focusing on Blitz’s boner as if that’s any less flustering. Blitz sits up slightly, and grabs Stolas’ chin. He’s gentle, but he does force the owl’s face to look at him, meeting his big, red eyes.

‘’Like what?’’ he repeats, flashing his teeth dangerously while speaking. Stolas shudders, his eyes glossing over in the way they always do when Blitz talks dirty to him.

‘’Like…like vibrators and…blindfolds and…’’

Blitz slides his hand further in under Stolas’ chin, and squeezes his cheeks with his thumb and index finger.

‘’And…?’’

Stolas swallows, looking away. Blitz jerks his face to the side slightly, forcing him to make eye contact again.

‘’I…I bought a horse whip.’’ Stolas confesses, face growing redder. ‘’I…remember you liked it, back when we used it before.’’

Blitz looses his composure for a moment, lust and excitement mixing with pure endearment for this stupid, adorable man.

He figures there’s a first for everything, and trades his condescending smirk with a softer smile, his grip on Stolas’ face loosening up slightly.

‘’Was that so hard? Good job, Stols.’’

Stolas looks at him in confusion for a second, scanning his face to see if he’s joking or not. When he realizes he’s not, he smiles, pupils growing larger. He seems genuinely happy.

‘’Thank you.’’

Blitz allows himself to be vulnerable for a moment more, then he gathers himself once again, moving his hand from Stolas’ chin to his head, pressing him downwards.

‘’Wanna know how you can continue doing a good job?’’

Stolas nods eagerly, immediately catching on.

‘’Yes, Blitzy.’’

Blitz’s dick twitches, aching to the touched.

‘’You can be an obedient little bitch for me and suck my dick. Think you’re up for that?’’

He swears that Stolas’ pupils turns into little heart shapes for a second, and he nods again.

‘’Yes, please.’’

Blitz grins, pressing him further down. ‘’Then suck it.’’

Stolas doesn’t hesitate. He scoots himself further down, squeezes Blitz’s cock one last time and takes him into his mouth, choking slightly. Blitz throws his head back and lets the dirtiest fucking moan he’s ever let out escape his mouth.

It’s been too fucking long.

The sound seems to encourage Stolas, because he immediately starts bobbing his head slightly, meeting Blitz’s eyes when he looks down at him.

‘’Fuuuuck Stols…’’ Blitz pants, digging his fingers into the feathers on Stolas’ head. Stolas smiles as well as he can, and chokes slightly, his eyes filling with tears. Blitz shudders.

‘’You okay?’’

Stolas nods, and takes him even deeper, making him moan and tighten his grip on Stolas’ feathers. Stolas moans around him, which is almost enough to drive him over the edge.

Fuck, they’ve barely even started yet, and his entire body is on fire. He needs to calm down.

His grip on Stolas’ head tightens, and he pulls him off, making him yelp and cough in surprise. Blitz looks down at him, cock twitching at the sight of the owl, all ruffled and drooling, eyes glossy with tears.

‘’Blitz…?’’ he says, eyebrows knitting together. Blitz smirks.

‘’You think I’m the only one who’s gonna have fun?’’ he asks, letting go of Stolas’ head and sitting up, forcing the bird onto his back and crawling on top of him. Stolas swallows visibly, eyes glowing with nervousness and excitement.

‘’No, I didn’t…’’ he replies, letting himself be pinned down. ‘’What…are you going to do to me?’’

Blitz lowers his head, letting his breath ghost against Stolas’ neck. Stolas shivers. ‘’Anything you want.’’

Stolas lets out a shivering breath. ‘’Then… I want your tongue.’’

Blitz nods kissing up and down Stolas’ neck before biting down hard, making Stolas moan loudly.

‘’Oh fuck, Blitz!’’

Blitz retreats, feeling very satisfied with himself as he kisses his way down towards the hem of Stolas’ pants. Once he reaches them, he pulls them down slowly, kissing the space above them. Stolas whimpers with every kiss, and Blitz smiles.

He used to think that Stolas was putting on a show just to turn him on, but he came to learn throughout their previous arrangement that the owl was one hundred percent genuine in how easy he was to please.

Blitz would have never admitted it a few months ago, but he was terrible at giving head. It always worked well with Stolas, most likely because he didn’t have much to compare with, but with others…

Verosika had really known what fucking buttons to press that night at Ozzie’s.

But now he’s learned. He’s been a selfish prick in the past and he can admit that, never giving enough attention to what any of his lovers actually responded to. But with Stolas it was different. He had really worked on his skills ever since he got tips from Moxxie (out of all demons) on that doomed penguin mission, and now it was time to put those skills to use.

Hopefully him awkwardly tongue-fucking pillows and mirrors around the apartment will have paid off.

Blitz looks up into Stolas’ eyes, the white pupils big and watching him, waiting. He smiles and pulls Stolas’ boxers down slowly, making the owl squirm in anticipation. He’s impatient.

Blitz kisses the space right above his cloaca, breath hitching in Stolas’ throat.

‘’So’’ he says teasingly, playing around with the damp, soft under feathers around Stolas’ opening. ‘’nice weather we’re having today, huh?’’

Stolas’ eyes narrow, and his pupils shrink, actually making him look a bit intimidating.

‘’Blitz.’’

Blitz laughs. ‘’What? I’m just-‘’

He’s silenced by Stolas’ hands grabbing ahold of one of his horns, tugging him downwards. He raises his eyebrows.

Where the fuck did this tall ass bottom get this sudden boost confidence from?

Blitz puts his hand on Stolas’ talons, keeping eye contact.

‘’Oh no, bitch you’re not the one in charge here.’’ He responds, voice suddenly darker. Stolas’ eyes widen again, and he shudders, a deep blush spreading over his face as he releases his grip on Blitz’s horn.

‘’No, sorry, you’re right, how silly of me!’’ he babbles.

‘’You’re gonna regret bitching back to me like that.’’ Blitz warns him, before suddenly ducking down, shoving his long, pointy tongue right into Stolas’ warm cloaca.

Stolas inhales loudly, his talons once again getting ahold of his horns, scraping against them. Blitz shudders.

He was always rather sensitive about his horns, like most other imps. They don’t exactly have a lot of nerves, so they’re not sensitive to the touch just…to the ego, somehow. It’s a status thing as well as a pride thing, so to let someone touch them this intimately is an honor.

Blitz has always let Stolas do whatever the fuck with them, since he doesn’t understand imp customs anyway. But now, feeling his talons dig into them with pleasure creates a whole new meaning for it, and Blitz figures that he’ll tell Stolas about it one day. Just not right now, that he’s got his mouth full of bird puss.

He starts moving inside of Stolas, letting his tongue drag against spots that he knows Stolas loves. Stolas arches his back and moans, just as shamelessly and dirty as he always does. It makes Blitz want to fucking combust.

‘’Ohhh fuuuck…’’ Stolas drools as Blitz’s tongue drags over a sensitive spot. Blitz smirks and drags his tongue over it again, making Stolas twitch.

After a little while of teasing, Blitz pulls his tongue out, relishing the taste of his boyfriend. Stolas inhales shakily.

‘’What do you want now, pretty bird?’’

Stolas blushes, eyes glossy and teary.

‘’I want more.’’ He mumbles. Blitz smirks and crawls over Stolas’ body like an eager cat, putting his hands on either side of his shoulders.

‘’What was that?’’

Stolas looks away, embarrassed. ‘’I want…more. Of what you just did. I want…your tongue.’’

Blitz nods, tail snaking It’s way around Stolas’ leg, tightening around it. ‘’Where do you want my tongue?’’

Stolas makes a whimpering noise, squirming. ‘’I…I want your tongue to…’’ he swallows, closing his eyes.

‘’Look at me, Stolas.’’ Blitz calls, his voice low and raspy. Stolas shudders, and opens his eyes, meeting Blitz’s gaze. ‘’What do you want me to do?’’

‘’I…I want you eat me out until I fucking cum, Blitz! Please, I need it, I need you so bad! I have wanted this for so long and I need it!’’

Blitz doesn’t wait for Stolas to finish his rambling, because when he starts he’ll never stop. So, with a satisfied noise, he hoists himself up and scoots himself back into position, laying down on his stomach with his face between Stolas’ legs. He looks up at his bird, grinning.
Stolas is still babbling, but meets his eyes, pupils growing large and hungry.

Blitz takes a deep breath, and leans forward, letting his tongue circle Stolas’ opening, making the owl shudder and grab his horns again, talons scraping against it.

He starts with slow movements that seem to make Stolas crazy. He moans loudly and rolls his hips, closing his eyes as his eyebrows knit into an almost worried expression.

Blitz knows that expression all too well. He would never admit it to anyone, but he’s taken more than a hundred longing peeks at Stolas during their arrangement, and subsequently learned just what his lover’s body language and facial expressions mean.

This one in particular means that Stolas is aching for more, and that’s exactly what he’ll get.

Blitz circles his cloaca one last time before pressing his tongue hard against the sensitive spot at the top, making Stolas cry out.

‘’Oh fuck yes, Blitz right there, please!’’

Blitz flicks his tongue hard over the spot, earning another desperate cry of pleasure from Stolas.

In the past, he would only let his tongue swipe across this spot occasionally, because he liked the way it made Stolas moan and twitch. Usually, however, he could get him to climax just by playing around with his tongue inside of him, so he never paid it that much attention. That had been a mistake, clearly.

With Moxxie’s ‘’advice’’ in mind, he starts moving his tongue through the letters of the alphabet best as he can, circling around and focusing in on Stolas’ sensitive spot.

‘’Oh…oh Satan, I- oh fuck Blitzy!’’ Stolas calls out, his voice breaking as his pupils roll back.

Blitz has never been so happy to be able to see them.

Watching Stolas’ reactions, Blitz starts going faster, finding a rhythm that matches Stolas’ moans and slight hip movements. Those slight movements become more and more eager, however, and Blitz digs a hand into one of Stolas’ ass cheeks, squeezing hard.

‘’Hnngggh fuuuck!’’ Stolas groans, grinding even harder on his tongue. ‘’You’re so good to me, Blitzy- I need you so fucking badly, you don’t even- ahh fuck!’’

Blitz slows down again, making Stolas whine and buck his hips. Blitz smiles, going teasingly slow, before picking up the pace again, even faster than before.

His tongue aches. He has never worked it this hard before, and what a fucking mistake that had been. He had been missing out on all these sweet moans and incoherent words falling out of Stolas’ beak. He would kill for those noises, and he doesn’t even have to.

‘’Ahhh Blitz!’’ Stolas groans, grip tightening on his horns. ‘’Fuck…fuck I think I’m- I’m so close, oh Satan, I’m- I’m gonna-‘’

His voice fades out into some kind of bird noise mixed with a sharp moan, and Blitz can feel Stolas’ slick dripping down his chin as Stolas practically grinds himself on his tongue. He goes faster, as fast as he can, and can feel how Stolas’ legs begin shaking on each side of him, a tell tale sign that he has reached his climax.

‘’Oh fuck!’’ Stolas gasps, rocking his hips hard into the pace. Blitz barely even has to move his tongue anymore. ‘’Fuuuuck! Blitz!’’ he yells, riding out the orgasm, eyes closed in pure fucking bliss.

Blitz can do nothing but stare.

This is sex, the thing he’s fought so hard to keep separate from his stupid feelings all his life.

Until now. Because how could he ever stop himself from feeling when his beautiful bird is moaning his name and touching him and enjoying him, even after all the shit they’ve been through together and all the pain and suffering Blitz has put him through.

All of that, and Stolas still trusts him with his body and his pleasure, and it means fucking everything.

Blitz feels himself twitch and leak against the sheets, and he keeps himself really still as Stolas rides out the last waves of pleasure. The last thing he wants right now is to cum prematurely just from watching. That would be incredibly fucking embarrassing.

Stolas has stopped grinding as fervently, but is still making small, circular motions with his hips against Blitz’s tongue, basking in the afterglow. His chest rises and falls as he breathes heavily, eyes still closed.

When his hips stop moving completely, Blitz retracts his tongue, a string of slick and saliva still connecting them. Stolas’ grip on Blitz’s horn loosens, and he opens his eyes, looking down at him. Blitz meets his gaze, smiling. Stolas shivers and blushes, looking away.

‘’Hey, pretty bird. You good?’’

Stolas closes his eyes briefly and nods, letting out a content sigh.

‘’Yes. You…yes.’’ He mumbles, voice shaking. Blitz tilts his head to the side, wiping his mouth.

‘’You were really pretty, you know. When you were yelling my name.’’

Stolas’ eyes open wide, and he glances down at Blitz, smirking between his legs. His blush deepens, and he twists his head around in that owlish way of his, hiding his face in the pillow.

Blitz laughs softly, hoisting himself up onto hands and knees, chin still wet with saliva and slick.

Lord knows he’s always been terrible at anything in between rounds, asking if Stolas is okay, giving aftercare, cuddling…none of that shit has ever been on his to do list. But now…

‘’Look at me, Stols.’’ He beckons softly, smiling at his embarrassed boyfriend. ‘’Please?’’

Stolas makes an owlish sound and turns his head slowly to reveal one eye, peeking at him, cheeks still red.

‘’There you are.’’ Blitz says, smiling and reaching out a hand, cupping his cheek. ‘’Do you need anything? Water? A towel?’’

Stolas turns fully to look at him, nodding.

‘’A towel, please, if It’s not too much trouble.’’

Blitz nods. ‘’Of course not.’’ He slips off of Stolas, walking over to the bathroom completely naked to fetch one. He gets one quickly and walks back towards the bed, only to be met by Stolas’ amused, red eyes, still glossed over. He raises his eyebrows.

‘’What are you smiling about?’’

Stolas lifts his talons to his mouth, trying to hide his smile unsuccessfully.

‘’Nothing. You’re just…very naked.’’ he lets his gaze wander down from Blitz’s face, and Blitz looks down, laughing out loud when he sees what Stolas is referring to.

His stupid dick is still fully erect, showing absolutely zero signs of going soft.

‘’Oh’’ he laughs, looking up at Stolas again who is now fully laughing with him. ‘’sorry about that.’’

‘’There’s nothing to be sorry about, my dear. I’m glad you’re…affected by me.’’ Stolas laughs, receiving the towel. ‘’Thank you.’’

Blitz plops down beside by his feet on the bed, putting a pillow over his lap to cover himself.

He should be feeling super fucking vulnerable and awkward right now, he realizes, but he just doesn’t. It’s a strange feeling for sure, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t like it.

‘’Affected is a fucking understatement.’’ he replies with way too much simpy affection in his voice.

Stolas stops dabbing his bird puss with the towel for a second, looking rather surprised. Then he sinks back into himself slightly, blushing. Blitz has never seen him blush this much, and he adores it.

Stolas clears his throat. ‘’I’ve been meaning to ask you, Blitz…’’ he swallows. ‘’I’m sorry if this isn’t a good time, it can wait if you want to take care of…’’ he nods towards the pillow in Blitz’s lap. ‘’…your situation first.’’

Blitz sighs inwardly. Truth be told, his stupid, horny self wants to slam his dick into Stolas like a train into a tunnel right now. But, he has grown, and he knows better. Most of the time, anyway. So, he shakes his head.

‘’This…isn’t likely to leave anytime soon, so if you wanna take a break and talk, we can do it.’’

Stolas laughs softly, and tosses the towel on the floor.

‘’Alright. I guess I just wanted to ask you…and do tell me if this is too private…I just wanted to ask you if you uhm, slept with anyone? While we were…apart, I mean. I understand you may have taken others while our arrangement was in place, and you had every right to do that, I just meant during the period where we-‘’

Stolas babbles on, and Blitz watches him, eyebrows knit. There’s no making sense of him when he gets like this, he better respond before the silly bird talks himself into a crying mess.

‘’I…didn’t, no. I was too fucking wrecked over our…uh, fight. And I…’’ he swallows, feeling heat rise to his own cheeks. ‘’I haven’t really felt like fucking anyone else for a good while now. So…’’

He looks up to assess whatever damage he may have done, but finds Stolas smiling reassuringly at him, looking relieved.

‘’Alright, that’s…thank you for telling me.’’ He smiles, and shakes his head, leaning back on the soft pillows behind him and patting the space on his left side. Blitz immediately scurries over there, laying down beside Stolas, studying his profile as he looks up at the ceiling.

‘’I just…thought you might have practiced on someone else.’’ He admitted, that beautiful blush painting his features once again. ‘’Your tongue, it just…’’ he shakes his head, looking at Blitz.

‘’I don’t mean to imply that you were bad before, not at all, but…where in hell did you learn to move your tongue like that?’’

Blitz laughs, feeling very satisfied with himself. ‘’I don’t know, I guess I just…got some advice from someone I know.’’

Stolas nods, looking like he’s thinking. Then he makes a tiny ‘’aha’’ noise.

‘’Moxxie, wasn’t it?’’

Blitz’s eyes widen, and he sits up. ‘’What? How did you know?’’

Stolas chuckles. ‘’Well…you don’t know that many people, Blitz. And out of those people there is only one, that I know of, that is dating someone with similar anatomy as mine.’’ He smiles widely. ‘’Besides, Millie seems pleased enough with him.’’

Blitz huffs, throwing himself back into the pillows. ‘’Yeah, fuck, you’re right. That little shit is a proper machine in bed.’’

Stolas’ eyes widen, and Blitz quickly adds.

‘’I haven’t slept with him myself! I’ve only uh…heard things. From Millie.’’

That was a fat ass lie, but his boner is sure to fucking wilt if he gets the insecure, creepy stalker ball rolling, so It’ll just have to do.

Stolas nods. ‘’Alright.’’ He turns over to lie on his side, facing Blitz. Blitz does the same, and they look into each other’s eyes, not quite touching but close enough to feel each other’s body heat.

Stolas puts his hand on Blitz’s cheek, stroking it. He says nothing, does nothing, he only moves a talon gently over the scarred skin, looking at Blitz in such a soft, caring way. Blitz breathes out, feeling himself relax completely. He can’t even remember the last time he was able to do that.

Somehow, the light touch of Stolas’ talons feels more intimate than anything they’ve ever done previously, and Blitz just can’t stop staring in awe at the beautiful creature in front of him.

‘’Blitz?’’ Stolas asks softly.

‘’Yeah?’’ Blitz answers.

Stolas smiles. ‘’You are…so dear to me, you know that?’’

Blitz’s eyes widen, and he swallows. For some inexplicable reason, his eyes start stinging.

Stolas looks worried and lifts his head in alarm.

‘’Blitz? Are you…crying? Oh, I’m so sorry, darling, did I upset you?’’

Blitz inhales shakily and shakes his head, just letting the tears fall. He’s not crying hard or anything, he’s not a fucking baby.

It’s just, hearing those words so suddenly like that, right to his face…It’s so unfamiliar and so unreal in a way that he doesn’t know how to respond to. His body feels so much at the same time, and the only response it can come up with is crying, despite how incredibly happy he is.

‘’I’m not…I’m not upset.’’ He mumbles, putting his hand on Stolas’ talons. ‘’I’m happy.’’

Stolas’ worried face breaks into a relieved smile, and he lowers his head back onto the pillow. ‘’Alright. I’m glad to hear that.’’

Despite the emotional moment, Blitz dumb ass dick still twitches when he sees that smile, and he chuckles lowly, wiping his tears.

‘’You wanna know something else?’’ he says, smile changing into a devious grin. Stolas quirks his eyebrows, but quickly matches his energy, his smile twisting as well.

‘’I think I might have an idea of what you’re going to say, actually.’’

And then, completely without warning, his talons leave Blitz’s cheek and grabs ahold of his cock, squeezing it. Blitz gasps, grabbing ahold of Stolas’ shoulder.

His dick twitches and leaks under Stolas’ touch, clearly enjoying the attention.

‘’Fuck, Stols!’’ Blitz says, laughing. ‘’Where did that come from?’’

‘’Did I read you wrong?’’ Stolas asks, clearly well aware that he didn’t.

‘’No.’’ Blitz croaks, resisting the strong urge to buck his hips into Stola’s grip.

Fuck he’s horny.

‘’Would you like to fuck me, Blitzy?’’ Stolas continues, feathers puffing up in excitement. Blitz nods fervently. He’s never wanted to do something more in his entire fucking life.

Stolas smiles, and lets his dick go. Blitz whines.

‘’Then come here and do it, darling.’’

It doesn’t take many minutes for Blitz to prepare everything. He’s so used to it It’s almost second nature at this point.

Usually they use a bunch of shit when they have sex. Whips, blindfolds, dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, ropes…you fucking name it. However, today is different. They’re back to basics, testing the waters and exploring each other’s bodies as if they didn’t already know the ins and outs.

Blitz from two months ago would’ve scoffed at just how vanilla this is, but current Blitz couldn’t have been more excited.

Stolas is tied up and blindfolded in front of him, laying on his back. His hands are tied to the post of the bed, and he’s already dripping, the feathers around his cloaca glistening with slick.

Normally, missionary really isn’t Blitz’s thing, but right now he honestly likes the thought of seeing Stolas’ face throughout the whole process.

Blitz just got done putting a condom on, and is pouring lube into his hand. He sniffs it, warily, and checks the bottle.

Cherry scented. Interesting.

He rubs it onto his cock and takes the opportunity to give himself a few lazy strokes. He lets out a dirty moan, and Stolas shifts.

‘’Blitz, please…I need you inside me.’’ He rambles. ‘’Please, I need your big, red cock in my-‘’

Blitz picks up the horse whip Stolas has brought, examining it for a moment. He hates the thought of it being used to harm a horse, they don’t deserve that shit. Using it on Stolas, on the other hand…

He grabs the whip firmly and flicks it sharply against Stolas’ thigh. The owl gives a surprised hoot, blush deepening.

‘’You remember your safe word?’’ he asks, moving closer to line himself up against Stolas’ entrance. Stolas nods, earning another whip as he tries to move closer when he feels Blitz’s head touch his thigh.

‘’B-book.’’ He stammers, moaning as Blitz drags the whip over his cloaca.

They had chosen the safe word the second time they fucked, both because Stolas loved books but also because they had agreed to never bring the Grimoire up during sessions. That way, if either of them brought it up the other would instantly understand that something was wrong.

‘’That’s right. Now are you going to be a good little bitch and do as I say?’’

Stolas nods fervently. ‘’Yes! Yes, I’ll do anything, I’ll beg on my knees if I have to! I’ve been without your cock so long, I can’t take it any longer! I need you inside me now, Blitz, please just-‘’

Blitz brings down the whip hard on his outer thigh, the sound of the whip making his cock twitch and leak.

‘’Shut up and be patient.’’ He growls, smiling down at his bird. Stolas whines and nods, tugging at the rope binding his hands.

Truth is, Blitz can barely take it either. It feels like It’s been an eternity since he last felt Stolas’ warmth around him. Taking a deep breath, he lines himself up against Stolas’ cloaca, pushing just the tip in.

Stolas bucks his hips but doesn’t try to push forward. He knows better.

‘’Please…’’ he whispers, so fucking wet and so fucking warm around him. Blitz shivers. He can’t even bring himself to whip Stolas for being impatient, because he’s just as impatient himself. He can do nothing but push in, into the wet warmth that he’s missed so fucking bad.

They both moan loudly as he pushes his full length into Stolas, and he swears to fucking Satan It’s the best thing he’s ever felt.

‘’Oh fuck...’’ He groans, letting his usual mask of dominance and playfulness fall. How the fuck did he keep it on all the time during their arrangement?

‘’You feel so fucking good inside me, Blitz.’’ Stolas sighs, shivering and moving his hips slightly. It’s enough to snap Blitz out of his initial shock, and he grasps the whip more firmly. He flicks Stolas hard with it, earning a long, drawn-out moan and a pleasant clenching of the muscles inside him.

‘’What did I say about being patient, slut?’’ He asks roughly and starts moving slowly while saying so. Stolas shudders.

‘’Mmn…sorry.’’ Stolas murmurs, taking shuddering breaths as Blitz moves in and out of him at an agonizingly slow pace. It doesn’t take long for him to pick it up, and Stolas’ tiny noises and whines turns into rambling moans, louder and louder in volume.

‘’Fuck, yes! Right there- I think- Blitz, right there! Yes! I- Oh fuck!’’

It makes Blitz crazy to hear him ramble. Stolas is usually so clean spoken, his words carefully picked and arranged as if he’s writing a novel every time he utters a sentence. But when Blitz fucks him, the words become jumbled, falling over each other and turning into a desperate mess of moaning and rambling.

To be able to turn such a wonderful, polished being into something so incoherent and messy, to momentarily break him with pleasure… there is nothing that turns Blitz on more.

‘’Haaa…’’ Blitz breathes, picking up the pace further, leaning close to Stolas’ neck and letting his breaths ghost against it. Stolas shivers and clenches around him. It’s all so wet and so hot and so…good. He definitely won’t last as long as usual, that’s for sure. Maybe he should have let Stolas suck him dry first…

He slows the pace again, earning a complaint in form of a shaky hoot from Stolas.

‘’I- I need it harder!’’ Stolas whispers, a broken sob escaping his beak. ‘’Please! I need it…agh!’’ he throws his head back, pressing his hips down as Blitz moves into him extra slowly. Blitz groans, and steadies himself above Stolas with his arms again.

‘’We’ll you’ll have to beg for it then, won’t you?’’ Blitz asks smugly, giving Stolas one hard thrust that makes him cry out.

‘’I’ll do anything, please, Blitzy! I’ll do fucking anything, as long as you fuck me! I need it, Blitz, I-‘’

Blitz whips him hard on the leg, the crack of it making him shiver. Stolas moans.

‘’Then beg for me, bitch.’’

Stolas nods desperately, and starts rambling about this and that, all the while Blitz’s pace is slowing down more and more.

There’s an urge within him, something he has never ever experienced before during sex.

He hesitates for a moment, observing the blabbering, blindfolded bird in front of him as he stops moving completely. Then he nods to himself, reaches out and pulls Stolas’ blindfold off.

Stolas immediately stops his begging and ranting, and squints his eyes confusedly, trying to get used to the light.

‘’I…did I do something wrong?’’ he asks in a worried tone, looking down at Blitz.

Blitz shakes his head, smiling.

Fuck, he wants this so bad. He hopes Stolas will be on board as well, though.

‘’No, you… you did great.’’ He takes a breath, noticing with embarrassment that he’s nervous. This is so stupid.

‘’I just…had something in mind…for us to try, I mean.’’ He states, searching for reassurance in Stolas’ eyes. Stolas raises his eyebrows.

‘’Does it involve you fucking me?’’ he asks carefully, and Blitz laughs, his cock twitching inside of Stolas.

‘’Oh, definitely.’’

Stolas smiles, relieved. ‘’Then I’ll do whatever you please, darling.’’

‘’Alright.’’ Blitz answers, feeling himself blush like a stupid fucking schoolgirl. ‘’But I…I have to warn you It’s kinda…vanilla.’’

They both grunt as Blitz pulls out carefully, the cold air hitting his erection unpleasantly. He can see Stolas’ cloaca contract at the loss of him.

‘’What-‘’ Stolas starts, but quiets as Blitz leans over him, untying the rope around his wrists.

Blitz doesn’t look at him, it feels almost embarrassing.

‘’Blitz?’’ Stolas asks, sounding very confused. Blitz can’t blame him, It’s so fucking unlike him to pause mid session just to switch things down. But, he got a vision in his head as Stolas was begging beneath him, and his stupid dick makes him do stupid shit, as always. He sits back in front of Stolas, feeling very naked.

‘’I uh…I want to try like…normal boring ass missionary. Without…toys. And stuff.’’ He mumbles, uncertain if Stolas even heard him.

But he did.

Stolas nods, rubbing his wrists slightly before leaning forward, cupping Blitz’s cheek.

‘’Of course we can try that, darling. You don’t have to be embarrassed.’’ He says, voice soft as if he’s talking to a wounded animal. Blitz feels his face heat up, and he rolls his eyes, turning away.

‘’I’m not embarrassed! Why the fuck would I be embarrassed?’’

Stolas tilts his head to the side. ‘’Maybe because you’ve said many times that the only people who like missionary are virgins and old ladies.’’ He responds, making Blitz pout. He laughs softly, pulling Blitz’s face towards his, kissing him gently on the lips.

Blitz melts into the kiss without a second thought, and it gets heated quickly.

It doesn’t take long for Blitz to end up on top of Stolas again, tongue in his mouth and fingers searching their way down to Stolas’ cloaca

Stolas whines when he finds it, and he rubs his fingers against the sensitive spot he knows Stolas loves. He breaks the kiss, panting.

‘’Are you sure that you’re fine with this? Because if you aren’t-‘’

‘’Oh, Satan, Blitz! Please just fuck me already!’’ Stolas groans, effectively shutting his boyfriend up.

‘’On it.’’ Blitz replies, immediately shifting to line himself up with Stolas’ entrance. Stolas clings to him, arms wrapping behind his neck and long, thin legs wrapping around his lower back.

Blitz looks into those red, glowing eyes, smiling and leaning down to close the gap between them.

Just as Stolas’ tongue slides into his mouth, he thrusts in hard, making the bird yelp and pull away, throwing his head back into the pillow.

This is exactly what Blitz pictured. Stolas clinging on below him as he pounds him senseless.

Fuck all the shitty things he ever said about missionary, this fucking rocks.

Stolas is so God damn warm around him, muscles clenching and unclenching as he thrusts, as if he’s trying to swallow him. Blitz would gladly let him.

‘’Fuck!’’ he moans, quickening the pace. ‘’You okay?’’

‘’Yes! Yes, fuck I’m so fucking okay!’’ Stolas gasps, moving his talons from behind Blitz’s head to his horns, grasping them firmly. ‘’I just…I want you to go faster.’’ He admits, throwing his head back, and lets an absolutely filthy moan escape him. ‘’Harder.’’

‘’Fuck yes…’’ Blitz murmurs, and starts pounding into his bird. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoes in the hotel room, but It’s drowned out by Stolas’ loud moaning.

‘’Oh yes! Fuck! Just like that, Blitz, oh fuck! Right there!’’

Blitz gasps as Stolas clenches around him. The friction is way too much and just enough at the same time, and he can feel himself growing closer by the second. He lowers his head onto Stolas’ chest, breathing heavily into it.

‘’Fuck, fuck, fuck…’’ he moans lowly, rubbing himself into the fluffy, soft chest feathers. ‘’Ahh…you’re fucking killing me, Stols.’’

‘’Ahhh! Mmmm, fuck! Blitz!’’ Stolas moans, moving his hips with the rhythm of Blitz’s thrusts. He’s getting close too.

With all the strength in his body, Blitz lifts his head from Stolas’ chest, meeting the owls eyes. They’re so very red and glowing with lust, the white pupils large and glossy. They moan unanimously.

It’s so fucking strange and so fucking intimate and fuck Stolas feels so unbelievably good…

‘’Stolas…I’m- I’m getting close!’’ Blitz warns, the panic rising in his voice as the pressure builds in his abdomen. Stolas’ grip on his horns tightens, and his eyes widen, looking so very earnestly into Blitz’s.

‘’Inside me. Please.’’ He whines, before throwing his head back again and moaning loudly.

Blitz lets out a shaky breath. ‘’But- I’m wearing a-‘’

‘’Doesn’t matter just…fucking cum inside me, please!’’ Stolas begs, arching his back into Blitz’s movements. ‘’Fuuuuck!’’

Blitz doesn’t have any time to continue arguing, because the next thrust pushes him right over the edge, and he swears that he goes fucking blind for a second.

There’s burning pleasure everywhere; on his horns where Stolas is grabbing them, on his lower back where Stolas’ legs are resting, in his lower abdomen…but especially around his cock.

The intense heat around him is just so fucking good, clenching around him and giving him just the right amount of friction as his cum fills the condom he’s wearing. He moans shamelessly, throwing his head back and letting an intense shiver run through him.

He barely ever moaned during their arrangement, except for when Stolas was sucking him off. Now he can’t fucking help it, it just feels so embarrassingly good.

‘’Aahhh Stolas! Fuuuck!’’ he whines, continuing to thrust harshly as he rides out his orgasm.

Suddenly, in the midst of it all, Stolas lets out the loudest moan Blitz has ever heard him make, and his walls clench tight around him, making him groan.

Stolas’ orgasm is long and hard, and it intermingles with Blitz’s, leaving them sweating in each other’s arms as they come down from their high together, Blitz collapsed on top of Stolas.

They lay there panting for a while, eyes closed and holding each other close. Then Stolas takes a long, satisfied breath and kisses Blitz on the head, and Blitz looks up at him, smiling.

‘’Hi, birdie.’’

‘’Hi, Blitz.’’ Stolas replies, voice hoarse. ‘’How are you?’’

Blitz laughs and shakes his head. ‘’I’m…It was good. Like…super fucking good.’’

Stolas chuckles, the muscles inside him clenching around Blitz as he hasn’t pulled out yet. He shivers.

‘’It was. You’ve made me feel…so very much.’’

Blitz kisses his cheek, nuzzling his nose into it for a moment before lowering his head back down onto his chest, sighing contentedly.

‘’Likewise.’’

They lay silent for a bit more, just taking in each other’s presence. Then, after a while Blitz pulls out to both of their dismay, and rolls over, asking Stolas if he would like to take a bath.

 

-End of smut scene-

 

When they’ve both taken a long, relaxing bath together, they put their sleeping clothes back on and crawl down into the bed together. Stolas is laying on Blitz’s arm with one of his long arms draped over him, eyes closed but not quite sleeping yet.

Blitz stares up at the ceiling. He is tired, and his eyelids feel heavy, but he can’t fall asleep just yet. There’s a lot of shit on his mind after today, and although most of it will have to wait until another day, there’s one thing he needs to get out before they go to bed.

Stolas lifts his head and nips gently at the skin of Blitz’s throat with his beak, giving him goosebumps.

‘’Your heart is beating very fast, darling.’’ Stolas mumbles, clearly sleepy. ‘’Are you okay?’’

Blitz takes a long breath, and nods.

‘’Yes. It’s just…’’ he swallows. It’s time. ‘’do you remember during the date when I said I had something planned?’’

Stolas coos quietly. ‘’Yes…I remember.’’ He opens his eyes, the faint glow of them painting the cover of their blanket red.

‘’I…have planned on telling you something for a while now.’’ Blitz says, tone slow and careful. He turns his head to Stolas, meeting his eyes. He swallows.

Those big, red eyes are so full of anticipation and such deep emotion, and he understands immediately that Stolas has figured out what he’s about to say, and that it means the fucking world to him.

‘’Yes?’’ Stolas responds, almost breathlessly.

Blitz smiles, warmth spreading in his face. Fuck, he’s never said this shit to someone like this before, and when he’s tried to it has all gone to shit.

But not now, not this time. He takes a deep breath and just fucking says it, for once in his life.

‘’Stolas I…I love you.’’

Stolas looks at him for a moment, eyes wide and watery, and Blitz swears that he can physically see his pupils growing larger. Then he lets out the loudest of squeals, rolls on top of Blitz and hugs him tight, positively shaking with excitement.

‘’Oh, Blitzy!’’ he tweets, bird noises flowing out of him as if he’s singing to him an early spring morning. ‘’I love you too!’’

Blitz takes a shaky breath, relief and a heavy, gooey feeling of happiness mixed with melancholy washing over him. He hugs Stolas tightly, a sob escaping his throat.

‘’Thank you, Stolas.’’

Stolas stops tweeting and looks up at him, surprised.

‘’Are you alright?’’

Blitz nods, tears falling from his eyes. Fuck, this is even worse than earlier when he cried between rounds. ‘’Yeah, I’m…I’m sorry I guess I’m just a bit of a pussy today or something…’’

Stolas shakes his head, stroking away his tears and cradling his face in his talons so softly and lovingly that it makes Blitz cry even harder.

What the actual fuck is happening to him?

‘’Oh, Blitz, there’s nothing to apologize for. There’s just been a lot of feelings today.’’ Stolas mumbles, reaching forward now and then to kiss away his tears. ‘’That’s okay. You’re okay, and I love you.’’

Blitz lets out a sob. ‘’I love you too!’’

Stolas chuckles. ‘’I know, darling, I know.’’

They sit like that for a while, Blitz just crying into Stolas’ arms and Stolas embracing him, not caring how much tears or snot he gets on his beautiful feathers.

When the tears eventually stop coming, they’re both half asleep, and Stolas simply leans back a little, tucking Blitz into bed with him. As they both snuggle up under the covers, Blitz head resting on Stolas’ chest, Blitz murmurs something barely audible.

‘’What was that?’’ Stolas mumbles back, only partially awake.

‘’Thank you…for not leaving me when I pushed you away.’’ Blitz murmurs, his voice grainy and groggy. Stolas smiles to himself, kissing one of Blitz’s horns.

‘’I would never leave you, my love. Never.’’

Chapter 10: Father and daughter

Time sure fucking flies when life is finally going your way. That’s something Blitz has had the privilege to learn during the ten months that have passed since sinsmas.

Those ten months feels more like three weeks, but at the same time sinsmas feels so incredibly distant. So much shit has changed.

Blitz and Stolas are very public boyfriends, obnoxiously so.

Blitz used to think Millie and Moxxie were unbearable to be around when they would make out and hump each other like horny rabbits during missions, but that’s nothing compared to how him and Stolas are acting now. Loona barely even wants to be in the office with them.

Speaking of Millie and Moxxie, they’re on parental leave at the moment, tending to their new little hellspawn. In their absence, Blitz is currently employing part-time employees that can lighten the workload and take on missions of their own. To make this easier, Blitz is also talking with Asmodeus in order to obtain more crystals, and possibly a sponsorship.

Blitz, Loona and Stolas comes by Millie and Moxxie’s house as often as they are allowed to, providing them with food and diapers and help. Except, It’s mostly Stolas that is actually helping.

He loves babies, Blitz has discovered.

Every time a poor, tired Millie or Moxxie hands him the little creature he lights up like a lamp, beaming at the baby and playing with it as if it is his own.

Blitz has never been interested in babies, or children, really, but seeing Stolas with one…

They’re never gonna have one, he knows that. They’ve already got two grown kids of their own, and they don’t need anything else. But still, something inside him, something stupid and domestic can’t help but feel as if he’s missing out. Suddenly, he wishes he could have been there when Octavia was a baby, to help Stolas and to take turns running to her when she cried at night.

But, the past is in the past, and he would’ve been an extremely shitty dad in his teens, so that stupid fantasy is completely unachievable. Still…

Blitz is suddenly snapped out of his thoughts as Stolas emerges from the bathroom, walking straight into the kitchen, presumably to get some ice cream. He has eaten a lot of it during these past weeks, since he tends to when he’s especially emotional.

Blitz waves to him from the couch, catching his attention.

‘’Oh! Blitz.’’ Stolas says, smiling faintly. There are bags under his eyes, and he looks just as jerky as he has during the last few days. Blitz smiles back.

‘’Hi, Stols. You wanna sit down with me for a moment?’’

Stolas swallows, looking at his talons on the handle of the freezer. Then he sighs, and lets it go.

‘’Yes. I…I probably should.’’

He walks over to Blitz from the kitchen to the couch, and Blitz can’t help but look around, admiring how spacious their apartment is.

Only a week or so after their first date, they started looking for a new apartment. A month later, they got lucky enough to be able to buy one. Business is booming, so money is rapidly becoming a non-issue, which is honestly more than Blitz could dream of.

Their new apartment is spacious, but not too spacious like Stolas’ old manor. It has a combined living room-kitchen like the old apartment, but It’s bigger and lighter, with big windows and a door leading to the balcony. There’s one bathroom which is also like their old apartment, but they don’t really need more than that.

No, a bigger bathroom or more living room space isn’t why they chose this apartment. The reason this is what they landed on is the amount of bedrooms; three, to be exact.

There’s a bigger master bedroom that is occupied by Stolas and Blitz. Then there’s two more smaller bedrooms, one for Loona and the other being used as a small office/storage space for clothes and horse memorabilia. However, they didn’t pay extra for another room just for storage. It is intended for Octavia.

Octavia and Stolas still hasn’t met up, but they have texted and talked on the phone. On Via’s 18th birthday, he wasn’t allowed to see her. It nearly broke him, he was sobbing all day and all night before, refusing to get out of bed.

But then, as the early hours of her birthday rolled around, she called him.

Stolas locked himself in the bedroom while they talked, and while Blitz genuinely wanted to give him privacy, he did walk past to eavesdrop a little. To his own credit, he did stop once he heard soft laughing from Stolas, and realized everything was at least not terrible.

Stolas didn’t tell him much of the call afterwards, and Blitz didn’t ask. He only told him that Via was finally open to seeing him again, and that she would text him now and again and tell him once she felt ready.

Well, now she is.

Two days ago she called in the middle of the workday, telling her dad that she was ready to see him this weekend. He, of course, freaked out, and when Blitz came back from a particularly rough mission, he had been hysterically laughing and crying at his desk. It had made Blitz’s day.

So, now’s the day. Octavia will be arriving in less than an hour, and Stolas has been eating ice cream uncontrollably since the day she called. He claims it calms his feelings, and Blitz is not one to argue. He’s the one who shoved buckets of cheese down his gullet just to forget their break up (not that Stolas will ever find out about that).

‘’Hey, hey…look, I know you’re nervous.’’ Blitz tries, putting his hand over Stolas’ as he sits down on the couch beside him. ‘’And that’s okay, but…she’s your daughter! There’s really nothing to worry about, just tell her what we rehearsed, and-‘’

‘’Blitz’’ Stolas interrupts him, firmly but not unkindly. ‘’With all due respect, I haven’t seen my daughter for almost a year. This is my one singular chance to explain everything to her face to face. If I mess this up…if she doesn’t believe me or forgive me…’’ he puts his arms around himself, grimacing. ‘’I might…never see her again.’’

Blitz breathes out slowly, his shoulders sinking downwards. He observes the start of tears in Stolas’ eyes, and puts his arm around him, leaning his head against his arm.

‘’I think It’s going to go great, Stolas. From what I’ve seen…you care more about her than anything. If you express that to her…I’m sure she’ll understand.’’ He lifts his head again, looking up at his bird. ‘’Besides, you love words! You’re great at using them.’’

Stolas chuckles, a tear still escaping from one of his eyes. ‘’Thank you.’’

Blitz carefully puts his arm around Stolas’ waist, pulling him towards himself. Stolas leans his head on Blitz’s horns, sighing.

He’s clearly still stressed, but seems to have calmed down at least a little bit. Any slight ounce of comfort Blitz can offer him is enough.

About an hour later, just slightly later than planned, there’s a knock on the door. Stolas immediately flies off the couch, scrambling to open it while swearing under his breath.

Blitz stands up too, way slower, and walks a little closer to the door. He doesn’t want to be too close, but close enough for Octavia to see him. He doesn’t want her to think he hates her or something.

Loona comes out of her room around the corner, all done and dressed up. Blitz beams at her.

‘’Awwe, you’re beautiful, Looney!’’

She rolls her eyes, but smiles back at him and stands beside him, watching the door with him.

‘’Thanks, dad.’’

Stolas is practically shaking by the door, but as he puts his talons on the knob he takes a deep breath, stabilizing himself. Then he turns it.

Octavia is standing in the doorway, looking much the same but at the same time different.

Her clothes are different from how Blitz remembers them. Her usual pink shirt adorned with yellow stars have been replaced by a black blouse with pink stars, and her boots are chunkier and more punk looking than Blitz remembers. Her makeup has changed too, he thinks, but he isn’t familiar enough with her face to notice how. She’s also grown slightly taller, likely her last inch.

She gives Stolas a small smile, waving awkwardly at him, despite the close distance between them.

‘’Hi, dad.’’

Stolas takes a shuddering breath, trembling slightly, clearly trying to restrain himself.

‘’Octavia…’’ he responds, his voice barely above a whisper. He clears his throat slightly. ‘’Can I… hug you?’’

Octavia hesitates, looking down at the ground for a moment. Then she looks back up at him, and nods.

Stolas lets out a heart retching sob, and takes his little girl into his arms, squeezing her close. She doesn’t put her arms around him right away, but she does put her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and making a small, contented bird noise. Her hands slowly finds their way to his back.

Blitz can feel the waterworks start up inside, and he looks down at his feet, trying to calm himself while also giving them some privacy to share the moment. He and Loona will be out the door as soon as they can, but he’s honestly glad he could witness this moment. It feels like such a win, after so much time and suffering.

After Stolas and Octavia has let each other go, Stolas stands aside to try and collect himself despite sobbing.

Blitz walks over to him and puts a hand on his back. He wants to hug him and hold him so fucking badly, but now is not the time. He’ll give Stolas whatever support he might need when he comes home, but right now the focus is between him and his daughter.

Loona walks over to Octavia, who’s still standing in the doorway. She lifts her paw and Octavia lifts her talons, and they high five before giving each other a short, determined hug.

They’ve clearly met up more times than Blitz thought, considering they already have a personal handshake. The thought makes Blitz warm inside, him and Stolas’ daughters meeting up, spending time together…

‘’Hi, Via.’’ Loona says, smiling.

‘’Hi, Loona.’’ Via replies, returning her smile.

‘’Just step right in, make yourself at home.’’ She nods her head towards Blitz. ‘’Dad and I will be leaving for a while. But like…I’m definitely up for hanging out when we come back, if you want to.’’

Octavia glances at Blitz, who gives her an awkward wave. She doesn’t wave back, but she nods her head slightly before turning her gaze back to Loona again.

‘’Yeah, sounds good.’’

Stolas leans in to whisper in Blitz’s ear:

‘’She nodded!’’

Blitz nods, and smiles at Stolas, whispering back. ‘’It’s all gonna be fine, birdy. Just…take it slow okay?’’

Stolas nods, and pecks him hastily on the cheek before straightening up, wiping away the last of his tears.

Loona steps away from Via, and signals to Blitz that It’s time to leave to Millie’s and Moxxie’s place. He awkwardly waves Stolas goodbye, and smiles at Via has he walks past her.

On his way out the door, he gives Stolas a thumbs up. Stolas gives him a nervous smile, and then the door closes behind them.

*
As soon as the door closes, Stolas’ anxiety rises even further.

There is no one else to lean back on, no distractions to keep the conversation neutral. It’s just him, his daughter and an insane amount of emotional baggage to unload.

He takes a deep breath as her eyes slowly meet his, and gives her a slight smile.

He has known her during all stages of her life, from baby to toddler to child to teenager. But now, it’s like a chapter of their story is missing. She hasn’t changed all that much, but at the same time she has. Not only in appearance, but in demeanor.

She’s a bit taller, yes, and her clothes and makeup have changed. She’s gotten more confident in her style, he can see that. But she’s also gotten more confident in herself, It’s very noticeable in the way she carries herself and the way she looks at him.

His wonderful, beautiful little girl, who is now a grown woman.

It pains him as much as it makes him happy. He’s so glad she has been able to not only survive but thrive on her own, without him. But at the same time, it stings. It stings to know that she doesn’t need him as much anymore, that she’s fine on her own.

He supposes It’s just how it is, when you’re a parent. You never want them to grow up, but you love them, and so their growth will always make you proud, no matter what.

It really is a double-edged sword.

‘’I’ve…made some food.’’ He says awkwardly. ‘’It’s just…cold cut mice with salad. Is that okay?’’

Via relaxes slightly where she’s standing by the door, and leans against the doorframe, looking around the apartment.

‘’You made food? Really?’’

Stolas huffs playfully. ‘’What? You think I can’t?’’

Octavia shakes her head. ‘’Yes, actually. I’ve literally never seen you cook.’’

Stolas laughs softly. ‘’Well, true. It’s…a new skill. I can’t say I’m good, but…hopefully It’s edible.’’

‘’I’m sure It’s good, dad.’’

Stolas can’t help but smile at the name. He has missed being called that, more than anything. He never said anything, but seeing Blitz and Loona together made part of him ache, despite him trying hard to not let it affect him.

He has missed his dear daughter more than words can describe. He can only hope she missed him too, If only a little.

They sit down at the medium sized dinner table together, eating the food in silence at first. After a few quiet bites and swallows, however, Octavia looks up from her plate at him.

‘’It’s good.’’ She grabs the salt placed in the middle of the table, sprinkling some of it over her food. ‘’Could use some more salt, though.’’

Stolas swallows down his bite. It goes down a tad more easily than the previous ones, and he washes it down with some water.

‘’Right. I agree.’’ He dabs his beak with a napkin, and carefully places it on the table, looking at it for a moment while gathering his thoughts.

‘’So…how have you been all this time?’’ he asks, carefully adding: ‘’You look well. So…grown up, somehow.’’

Octavia blushes slightly, and looks down at her plate, picking at her food.

‘’I’ve…been sad.’’ She admits. ‘’But also happy. It’s been…a lot, since you left.’’

Stolas nods. It has been a lot for him, too. He hesitates before adding:

‘’How…is your mother?’’

Octavia scoffs, her pink eyes locking into his own with an intensity that makes him squirm.

‘’Do you really want to know?’’

Stolas looks away, unable to bear the pressure of her stare. ‘’Yes, I do.’’

Octavia seems surprised. ‘’Why?’’

Stolas gains enough courage to look at her again, his grip tightening around the fork in his hand. ‘’Because I care about her. I may not love her…or in all honesty like her that much, but she’ll always be your mother, Via. No matter our disagreements, you would not be here if it wasn’t for her. I’ll forever be grateful to her for that.’’

Now It’s Octavia’s turn to look away. She puts her fork on the plate, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. She suddenly looks so incredibly small, her confidence deflating slightly.

‘’If I’m gonna be honest, dad…I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I feel like I’ve connected the dots about…certain things concerning mum. I just…I don’t really know what to do with it all, or if I’m even right about certain things. I just…I need some answers.’’

She takes a shaky breath, but there are no tears in her eyes, only a tiredness that Stolas recognizes all too well. It’s like a stab to the heart to see it reflected in the eyes of his daughter, like a sick, broken mirror of generational garbage. He suppresses the urge to reach for her.

‘’Of course, darling. Whatever you ask I’ll answer honestly.’’ His voice is soft, raspy, and she nods.

‘’Alright. But don’t call me darling.’’

Stolas pretends that it doesn’t hurt him to hear her say that. She has boundaries and he’s going to respect them, no matter how he feels about them.

‘’Of course. I apologize, Octavia.’’

She doesn’t reply and doesn’t look at him. She keeps staring into her half-finished plate of food, her arms tightening around herself. He wishes with all his heart that he could hold her right now, to be there for her, to never let her go again.

But he can’t. They’re not there, and they might never be again. She’s an adult, and he has to learn to let go, if that’s what she needs him to do.

‘’Mother and uncle Andrealphus…they’ve been insufferable.’’ She says after a moment of silence. ‘’They keep…mocking you, and saying horrible things about you, especially when I’m around. It’s as if they’re not even seeing how much I’m struggling, and how bad I feel. It always has to be…about you.’’

She looks up at him, meeting his eyes. He stays silent, letting her speak despite the millions of thoughts that are running wild inside his head.

‘’At first, I chalked it up to the cheating and the divorce, that mum’s pride was hurt and she was simply…coping in her own way. Besides, I wasn’t around that much. I snuck out most nights to meet up with Loona and her friends, and mother didn’t even notice. Not a single time.’’

She shakes her head, the glow in her eyes dimming a bit. ‘’But then…as I started hanging out with more people and telling them about my situation and everything…I gained a new perspective, you know?’’ she looks at him, searching for understanding. He nods, encouraging her to continue.

‘’So then, I started staying home more, just…observing. And the more I observed, the more time I spent with her I realized…’’ she takes a deep, shaky breath. ‘’she hates you more than she loves me, and it has always been that way.’’

Stolas feels his entire being shatter into a thousand little pieces, small enough to get stuck between the cracks of the kitchen tiles.

‘’Oh, my gorgeous girl, I’m sure there’s a-‘’

‘’Don’t!’’ Octavia snaps, slamming her hand into the table, making him flinch noticeably.

She swallows, staring at him with anger and sadness mingled in her pink eyes. Her body slowly relaxes again as she forces herself to calm, and Stolas tries to gather himself as well, biting back the tears that threaten to show themselves.

‘’Sorry.’’ Octavia mutters after a little while. ‘’I didn’t mean to…sorry. Just…don’t call me that.’’

Stolas nods fervently. ‘’I’m sorry.’’

Fuck.

His voice is shaking.

Octavia’s eyes widen a little bit, concern creeping into them.

‘’Dad are you…are you okay?’’

Stolas takes a shaky breath. ‘’Yes. Yes, I’m fine.’’

Octavia looks hesitant, and she puts her arms around herself again. She looks as if she is debating about whether to ask him something. After a few seconds, she straightens up in her chair.

‘’I was…meaning to ask you. Did mum ever…’’ she trails off, looking down at the plate in front of her. ‘’did she ever hit you? Or…or hurt you in any other way?’’

Stolas swallows. Suddenly, his stomach is turning upside down, and he feels nauseous. With rising urgency, he excuses himself, stands up from the table and runs towards the bathroom.

He barely manages to lock the door behind him before it all comes out of him; all the guilt, trauma and hurt he has endured during those years. He did it for Via to be happy, for her to have a proper family. Now it all comes spilling out of him in the form of vomit in his and Blitz’s toilet, a disgusting mess of pent up emotions.

Tears are running from his eyes as he grabs the toilet seat, regretting his entire life as he dry heaves into the bowl.

After composing himself for a minute, he stands up on shaky legs, closing the lid and flushing all those years of abuse and trauma down the fucking drain.

He makes a mental note to properly sterilize the toilet later. For now, he has to get back to his daughter, and hope to someone that she hasn’t taken the opportunity to leave.

The thought alone makes him want to throw up again, but he ignores it and washes his talons and mouth quickly before making his way out of the bathroom again.

To his relief, Octavia is still sitting at the dinner table. She looks incredibly worried, and stands up as soon as he gets back into the kitchen.

‘’Dad! What the fuck was that?’’ she asks, with more worry than anger in her voice. ‘’Are you okay?’’

He tries to smile reassuringly at her, but he can see in her face that she doesn’t buy it, and so he drops it, sighing. He puts his hand on her shoulder, and she lets him.

‘’We…need to talk about a few things, I think.’’ He shakes his head. ‘’You have done nothing wrong, absolutely nothing. I just…need a few minutes to think of what to say. Will you sit on the couch while I remove the dishes?’’ He looks at her pleadingly. ‘’Please?’’

Octavia still looks worried, but she nods, and walks over to the couch, plopping down on it.

Stolas takes a deep, steadying breath, feeling the last semblance of nausea settle in his stomach.

It takes him about six minutes to put everything away. He puts some of the food into plastic containers and places them in the fridge, just like Blitz taught him. Saving uneaten food is something he has had to warm up to, especially in the beginning. He’s used to it now though.

He puts the dirty dishes into the sink. He’ll do them later. For now, his conversation with Octavia is what’s most important. So, after finishing everything, he makes his way to the couch, quietly sitting down beside his daughter.

She was looking at her phone, but when he sits down, she turns it off and puts it down beside her, glancing up at him.

‘’Are you okay?’’ she asks again, voice careful and strained. He smiles at her, for real this time, and nods.

‘’Yes. I was just…overwhelmed.’’

She nods, pulling her legs up towards her chest, just like she always does when she’s sad or worried. ‘’I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked so suddenly. I just…I need to know.’’

Stolas nods again. ‘’I understand that. It’s just…well, I suppose I just never realized how truly clever you are.’’ He laughs, seeing her offended face.

‘’I do not mean to insinuate I thought any less of you, of course. You’ve always been such a smart girl. And…you’ve grown into such a smart woman, now.’’

She blushes, hugging her legs tightly.

‘’I…take it that mother did hurt you, in one way or another.’’

Stolas leans forward on the sofa, elbows resting against his knees. He stares at their reflection in the black tv screen, noticing that Octavia is doing the same. Their eyes meet in the murky reflection.

‘’She did hit me, a few times, yes.’’ He admits. Octavia’s eyes grow wide, and she hugs herself tighter. She doesn’t say anything however, so he continues.

‘’Obviously, she had no right to do so, and it did affect me negatively.’’ He lowers his head for a moment, massaging his scalp. ‘’However her hits were nothing compared to the way she spoke to me. Her words hurt me worse than her violence ever could.’’

He straightens up and looks at Octavia. She looks up at him, eyes filled with tears. He lifts his hand carefully to cup her cheek, but she grabs it gently and lowers it down, settling on putting her talons on his on the couch between them.

‘’What…would she tell you?’’

Stolas shakes his head. ‘’I don’t wish to repeat all the things I’ve heard, I just…she enjoyed humiliating me, whether it be around other Goetias or in private. That was the worst.’’

Octavia lifts her hand from his, pointing at his left shoulder. ‘’Your scar.’’ She points out, making his heart sink. ‘’Was it mother?’’

He had tried to hide it from her, but had apparently been unsuccessful. As he previously stated, she understands way more than he thought.

He wonders for a second how he should phrase things, but gives up. Octavia is an adult now. She deserves to hear the truth.

‘’Yes…but she didn’t do it herself.’’ He confesses, watching Octavia’s face carefully. ‘’She uh…hired someone, to-‘’

Octavia’s eyes widens considerably, tears falling down her cheeks. ‘’She hired a hitman? To kill you?’’

Stolas swallows. ‘’It’s…yes. She did.’’ He puts his hand over hers on the couch, smiling hesitantly. ‘’But I’m alive, Octavia. Blitz’s employees came to save me, and besides your mother called off the whole ordeal so that I would be alive for-‘’

Octavia snatches her hand away from his, the rage and betrayal in her eyes stronger than Stolas have ever seen before. She stands up, shaking her head while backing away from him.

‘’You…why didn’t you tell me about this?’’ she yells, her voice hoarse with anger and sadness. ‘’How could you?’’

Stolas stands up as well, panic gripping him.

Shit.

He can’t loose her like this again, he just can’t.

‘’Octavia, please just listen to me!’’ he replies, the tears immediately flowing from his own eyes as well.

‘’I have no excuse for what I’ve done, and you have every right to be upset. I only ask that you listen, even if you decide to never meet me again. Please?’’ he begs, a sob escaping his beak.

Octavia is shaking with emotion now, her overflowing eyes full of outrage and despair. He’s certain that she’ll leave him again, that she’ll turn and shut the door in his face as she did those ten long months ago.

But she doesn’t. This time, she stays, although reluctantly.

‘’You…after all the shit you’ve put me through and all the lies you’ve told…’’ she begins, voice shaky. ‘’you don’t deserve my time. You’ve already broken too many promises throughout my life!’’

Stolas sobs, wiping away his tears. ‘’I know that, Via, believe me. I’m so, so sorry for ever hurting you, it was never my intention.’’ He takes a shuddering breath. ‘’But I did, and there’s no excuse. I didn’t pay enough attention to you, and neither did your mother. You’re my world, Octavia. I should have treated you accordingly. But I need you to know that my love for you has never changed, and it won’t ever change! So please…just listen, just this once.’’

Another broken sob escapes his throat as he looks into her eyes, desperation clear in his face. ‘’I’ll let you go. If I speak to you and you never want to see me or speak of me again, I understand, and I won’t try to contact you. Just…let me talk.’’

Octavia hesitates. Her arms are wrapped around herself, tears silently falling down her cheeks, mascara running down with them. She looks incredibly angry and incredibly vulnerable at the same time.

In that moment, Stolas can properly see her for what she is; a grown woman who needs her dad, just like any other demon in hell. No matter how old she grows, she’ll always need him, and he’ll always need her. And she’ll always be his daughter, his everything. Always.

Before he knows it, she’s in his arms, sobbing against his shirt. He embraces her immediately, and they just stand there for a moment, crying in each other’s arms.

Eventually, they sit back down on the couch. Stolas’ tears stops, but Octavia’s continues falling. Now and then, Stolas mumbles something into the soft feathers on her head, preening them affectionately as she cries. She doesn’t stop him, and after a little while her crying calms and she sits silently pressed against him, leaning into his touch.

Eventually, she takes a deep breath, shoulders relaxing slightly.

‘’I’ve missed you, dad.’’

Stolas lets out a half laugh, half sob and squeezes her tight. ‘’I’ve missed you too, Starfire.’’ He hesitates. ‘’Can I…call you that?’’

Octavia nods.

They sit for a few minutes longer in silence, and then Octavia pulls away from him, wiping her face.

‘’I’m…still hurt by you, you know. This…doesn’t mean that everything is okay.’’

Stolas nods. ‘’I know.’’

‘’You should have told me…about mum.’’

‘’I know.’’

Octavia shakes her head. ‘’Why didn’t you?’’

Stolas squirms uncomfortably. ‘’I honestly don’t know. I think I was…ashamed, somehow, that I let her treat me that way.’’

‘’You didn’t let her treat you that way!’’ Octavia responds, exasperated. ‘’She just did! And It’s not your fault.’’

Stolas smiles at her. ‘’Thank you, Via.’’

He sighs, rubbing his eyes, still swollen with tears. ‘’I think, most of all, I just wanted us to be a family. I wanted you to have your mother and your father by you, to back you, to support you…I never did and it was so hard for me growing up. I was so lonely, and I never ever wanted you to feel that way. Ever.’’ he shakes his head.

‘’But I understand that I failed. You were lonely, perhaps not as a child but during the divorce and the time after… I never meant for everything to turn out like…this.’’

He gestures with his hands towards the tv and the apartment in general.

Octavia nods.

‘’Do you regret it?’’ she asks, almost casually.

‘’What exactly?’’ Stolas replies. There’s a great deal of things that he regrets in life.

‘’Having me.’’

Stolas looks at his daughter, his Starfire, his everything, and simply shakes his head.

‘’Don’t you dare ever think that. Never.’’ He shakes his head. ‘’Me and your mother were young when we had you, and it wasn’t fully our choice. It was expected of us to produce an heir, it was the reason for our marriage.’’

He takes a deep breath, looking into Octavia’s eyes, trying to convey with his gaze alone just how important she is to him.

‘’But the circumstances of your hatching does not mean we did not want you, that I did not want you. As soon as your egg was laid, I knew that I would do everything to protect you, to keep you safe and fed and loved…there’s nothing I’d rather do, even to this day when you’re grown and can do all that yourself.’’

Octavia smiles, relief shining from her eyes. However she still has sadness, worry and irritation buzzing all around her features. He knows there are more questions to come, and he is fully ready to answer all of them.

Octavia shifts on the sofa, getting into a more comfortable decision. Stolas can see she has something weighing on her mind, and waits patiently while she thinks.

‘’Are you…’’ she begins, but shakes her head. ‘’Never mind, It’s stupid.’’

Stolas smiles at her. ‘’No question is stupid, Via. You can ask me anything.’’

She blushes, and looks away. ‘’Alright. I just…are you happy? With Blitz, I mean?’’

Stolas feels himself blush as well, and he swallows, rather flustered by the question.

‘’I…yes. I am. He’s…different, from when we first started seeing each other.’’

Octavia hoots slightly. ‘’Yeah, so I’ve heard from Loona.’’

Stolas nods, swallowing. This part of the conversation certainly isn’t very comfortable to talk about.

‘’I…understand you’ve felt that I have chosen him before you. Is that correct?’’

Octavia sighs heavily, clearly not excited to talk about this either.

‘’Yeah.’’ She replies, sinking down further against the armrest. ‘’I just…I thought you were going to die at that trial, you know? That knucklehead stole your grimoire and did…Satan knows what else to you and you just…gave everything up for him!’’ she looks up at him, eyes hurt and tearful. ‘’You didn’t even call me, didn’t even say goodbye you just…left me to die for him, without hesitation!’’

Stolas looks down at his hands in his lap, contemplating on what to say. In the end, there’s nothing left to say except the truth, so he speaks it.

‘’I…I love him, Octavia.’’ He says, voice low. ‘’And I had loved him…for a great deal of time before I saved his life.’’ He sighs, draping one long leg over the other.

‘’He did treat me…questionably in the beginning, but he’s more than made up for that now, as I’m sure you understand.’’

Octavia nods. ‘’I saw him that day, outside the palace. He uh…saved you from Andrealphus.’’

Stolas feels his face heat up, thinking of the very dramatic kiss they had shared right after. ‘’You…saw that?’’

‘’Yes, you weirdo.’’ She replies, snickering a little at him. ‘’Me and the whole staff, I’m pretty sure.’’

‘’Oh, Satan.’’ Stolas mumbles, making Octavia laugh. And what a wonderful sound it is.

The laughter doesn’t last forever, however as Stolas would have liked it. It stops after a short moment, and the tone in Octavia’s voice changes.

‘’I guess…I can see why you wanted to save him.’’ She says. ‘’I understand that he would have died otherwise. I just…’’

She shakes her head.

‘’I guess I’m just upset that you would have sacrificed yourself, that I never would have seen you again…’’

‘’I understand that, Via.’’ Stolas replies ‘’I understand and I am sorry I put you through that, that I scared you so.’’

He looks up at her, looking apologetic.

‘’But…I do not regret it. I can’t. Just the thought of him being dead…’’ he shudders, shaking his head. ‘’It would be as if a part of me died, as melodramatic as that sounds.’’

Octavia nods slowly, clearly trying to understand. It warms him, that she’s trying for him despite everything.

‘’I understand that you feel…abandoned all the same.’’ Stolas continues. ‘’But please understand that my love for Blitz doesn’t negate the love I feel for you, not at all. I would sacrifice myself in an instant for you as well.’’ He smiles. ‘’If that makes you feel better.’’

Octavia smiles back. ‘’It kind of does, actually. Thanks, dad.’’ She takes a deep breath, hanging her head over the armrest for a second before adding:

‘’I’m glad you found someone, at least. Even if he’s a weird looking red moron.’’

Stolas can’t help but laugh heartily at that, his laughter turning into short, repeated hoots. This makes Octavia laugh too, and soon there’s two laughing birds on the couch.

‘’He is, isn’t he?’’ he manages between the hoots, and Octavia nods, hooting with him.

After calming down, they both settle into a pleasant silence, and they both relax noticeably.

After a little while, Stolas decides to ask Octavia about something that isn’t emotionally draining.

‘’So…Loona.’’ He starts, looking at Octavia. ’’Have you been meeting a lot with her?’’

He coughs, quickly adding. ‘’Not that It’s any of my business, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t-‘’

Octavia laughs, punching his shoulder very lightly. ‘’Dad! It’s okay. We’ve been hanging out, yes.’’ She smiles to herself.

‘’At first it was just me and her, but then she started bringing me to her friend’s place, and they have a smaller sibling my age and stuff, so…now I have some more friends, and I have her to thank for it.’’

Stolas smiles brightly, clapping his talons excitedly and hooting.

‘’That’s marvelous, Via!’’

She rolls her eyes. ‘’Yeah, yeah.’’

‘’You know…’’ Stolas says, standing up from the couch and motioning Octavia to follow him.

She does, hesitantly.

He stops in front of Loona’s room and points at the door and the hundreds of warning signs plastered on it.

‘’This is Loona’s room!’’ Stolas announces happily. ‘’I’m not allowed to open it, of course, as you can see by the signs but…’’ he grabs her hand and leads her to the other door beside it, the door to the small office.

He cracks the door open and shows her the inside; a plain desk, some plants, a big bookshelf and a bunch of horse stuff. She looks at him, confused.

‘’Wow…dad, what a nice…room?’’

‘’Oh, but It’s not any room!’’ Stolas chirps excitedly. ‘’I know It’s a bit forward, and it doesn’t mean you have to live here, or even visit if you don’t want to, but…this is your room.’’

He beams at her. ‘’Obviously you can furnish it to your liking if you ever want to stay here or just…come by sometimes, It’s current state is just a placeholder.’’

Octavia looks at the room, surprised, and shakes her head.

‘’My…room? Did you guys get this room…for me?’’

Stolas nods eagerly. ‘’It was Blitz’s idea! I didn’t think you would ever want to stay with us, I was in a rather sour mood you must understand, but he insisted that we should look for an apartment with three bedrooms, just in case. And I’m glad he did!’’

His smile falters a little, and he calms himself down slightly. Fuck, he’s being too forward.

‘’I-I mean this doesn’t mean that you have to live here, or even visit, if you don’t want to. It’s good as an office as well, so your choice wouldn’t-‘’

‘’Thank you, dad.’’ Octavia says, very quietly. ‘’For including me in your life despite…everything.’’

Stolas feels his eyes water again, and it stings the already sore skin around them. He ignores the sensation.

‘’Of course. You’ll always be part of my life, no matter how far away from me you are or how much time has passed between us. You’ll always be my beloved daughter, always.’’

She hugs him, and it feels like the greatest comfort his soul has gotten since him and Blitz finally confessed their feelings to each other.

It feels warm, it feels familiar…and it feels like family.

The evening goes on. Octavia disappears for a while to remove her mascara and reapply some more, but then they spend quality time together.

Father and daughter play board games and watches tv, genuinely enjoying the time spent together. They talk briefly about issues like Octavia’s possible upcoming coronation and Stolas’ job at I.M.P, but neither of them have the energy to go over any details.

At about ten PM, they reluctantly admit that It’s time to wrap things up. Octavia states that her and Loona are going out with friends, and that she’ll be staying at friend’s houses for the foreseeable future since her view of her mother and uncle has changed drastically.

‘’You know, you’re always welcome here, for as long as you like.’’ Stolas reminds her as he hands her the coat she brought. ‘’Only If you want to, of course.’'

Octavia puts the coat on and gives him a smile, nodding slightly.

‘’I’ll definitely think about it. Thank you, dad.’’

She hesitates, hands deep in the pockets of her jacket. ‘’I…had a lot of fun with you today. But…we also had some good conversations. It was…nice to hear things from your perspective, actually. I’m sorry I didn’t want to listen.’’

‘’Don’t be sorry, Starfire.’’ Stolas responds, shaking his head. ‘’The way I’ve made you feel Is unacceptable. You have every right to be upset.’’

Octavia nods, and opens her arms. He immediately steps forward and embraces her, burying his beak in her head-feathers.

‘’I love you, Octavia.’’ He mumbles. She shivers, and presses herself closer to him.

‘’I love you too, dad.’’ She leans back, looking at him. ‘’But…I’m still hurt. And it might take some time before I come around fully. We still have a lot to talk about.’’

Stolas nods in agreement. ‘’Yes, we do.’’

Octavia hesitates for a moment before adding:

‘’I want you to know, though, that I will come around. Eventually. I can’t say how long it’ll take but…eventually.’’

Stolas can’t possibly hide his happiness. He breaks into a big smile, tears appearing in his eyes for probably the fifth time that day.

‘’I’m…so incredibly grateful for that, Via. Thank you for giving me another chance, even if I don’t deserve it.’’

Octavia shakes her head, pressing herself against him again.

‘’You do deserve it, dad.’’

That sentence alone sends Stolas into a sobbing fit, so when Loona and Blitz walk through the door they walk in on a rather dramatic scene.

When Blitz and Octavia has managed to calm Stolas down a little, Octavia gives him a final goodbye hug before leaving with Loona, promising that she’ll call him.

At last, the door closes, and there’s only a tired Blitz and an emotional Stolas left in the apartment.

Blitz buries Stolas with blankets and pillows on the couch and makes some tea for the both of them, understanding completely without words that his boyfriend needs some comfort and stability, despite the fact that the meeting with Octavia seems to have gone well.

Stolas is ever so thankful to be surrounded by such understanding, wonderful demons. One must be very lucky to end up in that type of arrangement in hell itself.

By half past ten, they’re both cozied up with each other on the couch, drinking tea together, watching some dumb hel-a-novela that Stolas has been forcing Blitz to watch for the past month.

‘’So…’’ Blitz says, sipping his scolding hot tea. ‘’how did your talk with Via go?’’

Stolas swallows his tea, smiling. ‘’As well as it possibly could.’’ He sighs contentedly, nuzzling himself into Blitz’s shoulder. ‘’She was so kind to me, so understanding despite everything.’’

He glances at Blitz. ‘’She even seemed to be warming up to the thought of us!’’

Blitz smiles down at him, nuzzling his head into Stolas’ head. ‘’That sounds fucking great, Stols. I’m so glad everything worked out.’’

Stolas nods. ‘’She’s still hurt, of course, and she told me that we might not see each other for a while again while she processes everything.’’ He sighs. ‘’I’ll miss her, but…It’s not half as bad when I know for sure I’ll see her again, and that she has a proper support system to lean back on.’’

Blitz nods, gulping down the rest of the scalding hot tea. ‘’I heard. Loona told me she’s in a band with some of her new friends.’’

Stolas raises his eyebrows. ‘’Oh, really? That’s incredible! She didn’t mention it to me, but then again…we had a lot of other things to talk about.’’

Blitz kisses Stolas’ on the head.

‘’Yeah, I can imagine. How do you feel?’’

Stolas smiles, angling his face in a way that allows Blitz access to his beak. ‘’Lighter.’’

Blitz smiles at him, kissing him on the mouth. ‘’I’m so happy for you, babe.’’

Stolas smiles, and blushes, sticking his beak under Blitz’s chin and nipping at the sensitive skin of his throat. Blitz shudders.

‘’Thank you, darling.’’

Blitz groans, the air around them suddenly changing from relaxed to charged.

‘’You’re my entire fucking world, Stolas.’’ Blitz murmurs, and Stolas figures that there are some things that he simply cannot be too tired to do.

Notes:

Hi!

If you've made it this far, thank you SO much for reading this silly, long fanfic!

I wrote it between Christmas and the end of january, so I've really been typing like a mad woman and definetly ignored some other chores should have done in the process.

Who knew that writing fanfiction would be much more fun than Uni coursework? Everyone? Okay...

Anyway, consider leaving kudos and/or a comment, and again, thanks for reading!