Chapter Text
January 21st 2007
Dear piece of paper,
I never thought I'd ever be writing in a diary but well here I am. I never needed to write down my feelings because I usually tell my parents about them. But now I feel a little lonely. My dad is really busy with a new case. He works at the FBI as Special Agent Peter Strahm. He started working yesterday on this case called Jigsaw and he hasn't been home since. Jigsaw is some serial killer by the way. I'm kinda scared of him/ her. But I'm sure my dad will solve this like he always does. He's really smart. And I got that from him. I only have straight A's. And prizes won at a lot of competitions.
My mom's smart too. Her name is Allison. People call her Allie. She teaches English at an university. She's really kind and nice and I love her a lot.
Sadly I didn't get only the qualities of my parents. I also got their problems. My dad has terrible anger issues. He gets really mad about the smallest things. However, he doesn't take his anger out on me nor on mom. I mean, he isn't abusive or anything.
He hit my mom once though. When I was 10. I don't know why. They were fighting about something and then he slapped her across the face. And then they didn't talk for 3 days. And then they came back to normal. I wish I knew what was that about.
Anyway. So yeah, I have anger issues too. And my mom's habit of talking way too much. And probably more but nothing comes to mind right now.
I also like to crochet. It's my favourite activity to do apart from listening to music and reading. And roller blading.
I was born on December 12, so I've recently turned 16. It seems like a really mature age.
My older sister, Ana Megan, died at 16. I was 7 then. She was murdered.
She had a boyfriend who my dad really didn't trust (well, he doesn't really trust anyone except me, mom his colleague Lindsey and maybe his sister, so it's not a shock).
Ana and this guy were smoking together and doing stupid things teens do. They were never letting me stay with them and that really annoyed me. So I always told my parents and they made sure I felt loved at least by them. My sister loved me too. I knew it. We talked and sometimes even played. But when she started dating this guy she just didn't care that much about me anymore. It was all about him.
So one day she told my parents at dinner that she wanted to go with her boyfriend on a weekend long trip to a different city. My dad said: "Absolutely not." and my mom said: "I don't know, Ana. Maybe your dad's right." My sister usually listened to our parents all the time. At 16, though, something happened to her and she was just really different somehow.
So she did it either way. I wish she hadn't. It turned out her boyfriend was doing crazy things connected to the dark web and porn websites. So when they got on their supposed "trip", he raped her and then tortured her with knives and killed her.
Everyone died a little on the inside when we found out. My mom was diagnosed with depression and had to take a lot of pills daily. My dad was keeping himself busy by working 24/7. He also made sure the murderer got what he deserved(a lot of time in prison; he however escaped, but Jigsaw trapped him and he died; dad was glad he got what he deserved; he still hated Jigsaw though). I was just there, in the house crying and trying not to think about my sister. It was soul crushing. My mom pulled me out of school for a while cause I was crying in all of my classes.
Now, after 9 years, things are just like they were before. It's hard without Ana, but sometimes you need to move on since that's the only thing to do.
We are happy again. And have been for the past few years. It was terrible and draining at first, but step by step we moved on.
Now, let's get to the reason why I'm writing this. I started feeling a little off today. I woke up with a bad headache and my mom gave me a pill. She said it's probably something inherited from my dad. He's always stressed and often has headaches.
After the pill I felt better. But then I asked my mom when is dad coming back and she said he is really busy. That made me a bit sad. I always hate it when he's busy with work. He usually works from 8 am til late in the afternoon and I'm used to it. But when he's busy with cases he stays more. It's quite annoying, but I never felt too sad about it. Now I do.
Dad is my best friend. So is my mom, but the bond with my dad is stronger. Probably cause we are like the same person. So yeah, I guess I am also a little scared because he is working on a very dangerous case.
I don't know what else to say now. I guess that's it.
With no intend of publication,
Vanessa Elizabeth Strahm