Faux pas

by Lolliepops

Summary:

Ace thinks Yuu is a beta.

Yuu, an outsider from another world who has never once heard the term before, strongly disagrees.

Notes:

I caught the flu. Ended up becoming obsessed with the idea of Yuu being thrown into an ABO world and everyone going WHAT ARE YOU?!?! No I don't get it either but I haven't written in days and was getting withdrawals so... here this is

Chapter 1: Ace - Speaking, but not Conversing

Ace stood in the doorway, hunched in on himself pitifully. Yuu was, as far as Ace could tell, a beta, so his act might not work on an instinctual level like it would on an alpha, but Yuu should at least know how to treat a sad little omega on his doorstep –.

 

Yuu opened the door in what looked to be the most uncomfortable pajamas known to man (Ace swore he could hear the canvas chaffing against his friend’s skin even from here). He didn’t immediately offer to take Ace in. In fact, he didn’t say anything at all for a long time.

 

Long enough that Ace risked peeking up at Yuu through his bangs.

 

Which was, apparently, what Yuu had been waiting for. He crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s been five minutes, why are you back already?”

 

Ace spluttered. “It’s not like I want to be here!”

 

“Great,” said Yuu.

 

He closed the door in his face. Ace got the feeling he would have slammed it if the dorm's foundations had been any more stable.

 

Ace stood there in open-mouthed shock. “You can’t just leave me here!”

 

“I can!” Yuu retorted, but he did open the door again. “You done trying to get me to pity you?”

 

“... fine,” said Ace, throwing his hands up in a mocking surrender. “Just let me in, will you? My asshole Housewarden kicked me out.”

 

Yuu glanced him up and down a few times, before shrugging and stepping out of the way so Ace could brush past him and into the dorm.

 

(Calling the place a dorm was, in his opinion, generous. The wood was rotting beneath their feet. There were more holes over their head than there was actual ceiling. The few scattered pieces of furniture that weren’t covered in sheets were broken beyond repair.)

 

“Maybe I should have risked the wilderness,” Ace muttered.

 

“Grim’s trying that out right now, actually. If he doesn’t come back by tomorrow, then that means that sleeping on the forest floor was officially better.”

 

“Encouraging,” Ace said, sarcastically.

 

Yuu sent a playful glare his way, but didn’t seem to actually mind Ace insulting his new ‘home’. “You want some tea?”

 

“The Sevens know that I’ll need it to sleep in a place like this.”

 

“That’s the spirit,” Yuu joked, before motioning for Ace to get comfortable on a very uncomfortable-looking couch. There was a spring sticking out of one of the cushions, sharp enough to gouge a hole through the unwary, and Ace made sure to give it a wide berth.

 

Yuu came back a few minutes later with two mismatched cups. Ace grabbed the red one. Staying on brand is important, after all.

 

“Got any sugar?”

 

“Not any that I can guarantee is safe to eat,” Yuu said, sitting as far away from him as The Spring would allow. Which wasn’t very far. If Ace reached out, he’d still be able to touch him.

 

Ace sighed, but accepted his too-bitter tea without complaining any further. Yuu was clearly living on scraps at the moment, it would be mean to get onto him too much when he couldn’t help it.

 

“So,” said Yuu. “What happened?”

 

“I ate a tart.”

 

“That’s crazy,” Yuu said, dryly. “What actually happened?”

 

“Exactly what I said,” Ace shrugged. “I was a little hungry, so I went down to the dorm kitchen and found some tarts in the fridge. Three whole tarts! Big ones, too! So I took one slice, and the Housewarden started screaming at me!”

 

Yuu thought it over. “You should apologize.”

 

Ace glared at him. “You’re kidding me. He took away my magic. Over a tart.”

 

“And that was wrong of him, too,” Yuu conceded. “But. You really shouldn’t take other people’s food without asking.”

 

“What, should I ask you for permission before I take another sip of this tea, too?”

 

“Nah. After last night we’re, like, trauma bonded or something. What’s mine is yours.”

 

Ace dramatically flung himself against Yuu’s side, hand to his forehead like a Queen of Hearts-era peasant waif who was about to faint from the plague (it was hard not to break character when Yuu gave a little squeak of terror as his tea threatened to spill over the side of his cup). “If only I had been sorted into your dorm.”

 

Yuu raised an eyebrow. “You want to stay here? Even I don’t want to stay here.”

 

Ace looked around. He winced. “It’s a fixer-upper.”

 

“Didn’t know you could be polite.”

 

“It’s a skill I have,” Ace said, grinning.

 

“You should use it more often, then.”

 

“Nah. Gotta keep you on your toes.”

 

Yuu scoffed, lightly, but otherwise seemed content to leave the conversation there. It was pretty late, after all, and they’d had an eventful day yesterday, what with them almost dying to a monster several times. Frankly, Yuu being as awake as he was was surprising.

 

He should probably ask now, while he was awake, then:

 

“Can I really stay here?”

 

Yuu sighed, absently bringing a hand up to ruffle Ace’s hair. “Sure, if you can find a place to sleep.”

 

“Just let me stay with you. I'm real skinny, I won't take up much space.”

 

Yuu snickered, rolling his eyes. “Sure, whatever.”

 

Ace blinked in surprise a few times, sitting up straighter to squint at Yuu. He didn’t seem to have any… ulterior motives.

 

“I guess you’re a beta, so it doesn’t matter that much…” Ace hedged.

 

Yuu sent him a mildly confused look. “A ‘betta’? What, like the fish?”

 

Ace’s eyebrows knit. “Do they call it something else… where you’re from?”

 

(Ace still had his doubts about the whole ‘other world’ thing. Even assuming he did believe that there were other universes that were somewhat similar to his own, which was a big assumption to make, how do you accidentally travel to another universe?)

 

“Do they call what something else?”

 

Ace hesitated. He glanced down, meaningfully. “What you… have.”

 

Yuu was quick to cover himself, a blush spreading across his face. “What – you mean male?”

 

“No, no, the…” Ace waved his hands vaguely, helplessly. “Can you have kids?”

 

“I think so?” Yuu said. His face was getting redder and redder by the second. “I mean. I haven’t checked. But probably?”

 

“So, you have a womb,” said Ace, sighing. Yuu was a little bit bigger than the average omega, but he supposed it wasn’t impossible. “Here we call that an ome –.”

 

“No?! Why would I have a womb?!”

 

Yuu was being weirdly defensive about this. Were omegas still frowned upon back where he was from? Maybe that was why he was wearing scent patches to masquerade as a beta. Ace had just assumed it was nearing Yuu's time of the month, but that made sense, too.

 

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I do, too.”

 

Yuu didn’t seem relieved. Or offended, really, not anymore. He just looked flabbergasted.

 

“You what –?!” And then something seemed to click into place in Yuu’s head. He, awkwardly, reached out and patted him on the shoulder. Once. Twice. Settled the hand there in a way that was clearly his best attempt at comforting Ace. “I. Uh. Appreciate you feeling like you can tell me? I’ll… keep your secret safe?”

 

Ace had the horrible feeling that they were no closer to being on the same page.

 

He caught Yuu by the wrist before he could pull away. “This is getting us nowhere. Can I –...?”

 

He trailed off, awkwardly, hoping that a small tug on Yuu’s arm would be enough to give Yuu a hint. Yuu had, unfortunately, not gotten any better at understanding Ace’s cues in the last minute or so since they’d started having this disconnect.

 

Ace took Yuu’s wrist in both hands and started massaging the skin there. Even if Yuu was a beta, as Ace suspected, he would have some kind of scent that Ace could stimulate. He’d deal with the consequences of that later (if there even were any – Ace was around 99% sure the guy wasn’t an alpha, so the worst-case scenario was that he accidentally sent the guy into an early heat if he was an omega… which would be a pain, but not that bad for him, at least). But, for some reason, Ace couldn’t find the slight indents in Yuu’s skin where his scent glands were hidden. And, of course, Yuu was of no help, just staring at Ace with a look on his face that was closer to morbid fascination than anything actually useful for determining the guy’s secondary sex.

 

Finally, he gave up, pressing his nose to Yuu’s wrist and trying to find anything of interest.

 

Yuu smelled… artificial. Like he had taken a shower just before bed, and Ace was smelling the soap residue on his skin.

 

Beyond that, he wasn’t getting much of anything. He smelled a bit of himself, some of his scent must have rubbed off on Yuu when he ruffled his hair, but that wasn’t helpful. Maybe a bit of sweat? But everyone smells of sweat if you dig deep enough, that’s just part of being human. And it wasn’t like it was particularly musky or sweet… so, a beta? Maybe?

 

But even betas have scent glands. So, what was going on?

 

“Um, Ace?” Yuu said.

 

Ace drew back to look at Yuu, who looked… mostly confused. A tad uncomfortable, too.

 

Ace dropped his arm immediately, though not without a frown. “I don’t get it.”

 

“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think I know what’s going on, either,” Yuu admitted.

 

“I… think you’re what we call a beta, here,” Ace said. “It’s a person who isn’t an omega – who gives birth – or an alpha – who… helps people give birth.”

 

“A beta sounds like an intersex person,” Yuu said, which could be true. Ace had certainly never heard the term before. But all hopes of finally being on the same page as Yuu were dashed immediately when he said, “And, uh, I’m not that. I’m an… alpha, I guess?”

 

Ace shook his head. “You can’t be, you don’t smell like one.”

 

“What, just because I’m hygienic I can’t be a guy?”

 

“Smelling like an alpha has nothing to do with being hygienic… and what does being an alpha have to do with being a guy? What are you talking about?”

 

Yuu’s eyebrows knit in absolute confusion. “I mean, I guess you don't have to be an alpha to be a guy, but they’re… strongly correlated, I feel.”

 

“Not really.”

 

Ace and Yuu stared at each other.

 

Ace lifted his wrist to Yuu’s nose. “How do I smell?”

 

“Huh?” Yuu asked, frowning. “Nice, I guess?”

 

Ace stared at him incredulously. Not because he didn’t think he smelled nice – he smelled like cherries and was proud of that, thank you very much – but because Yuu couldn’t seem to understand why Ace would ever ask him that.

 

And he didn’t seem to have any scent glands on his wrist…

 

“Holy shit, you’re actually from a different world, aren’t you?”

 

Yuu just looked more confused. “Yeah?”

 

Ace glanced behind himself. At the spring sticking out of the couch, looking just as deadly as the last time he’d seen it. But now it was very tempting to throw himself onto it and let it take him out of his misery.

 

He hopped to his feet, grabbing Yuu by the wrist (absently running his thumb over the spot where his scent markers just weren’t there it was so weird -) and yanking him to his feet. “Alright, get up, we’re going to the library.”

 

“Huh? Didn’t take you for the studying type, especially not so late at night –.”

 

“I’m not, but apparently you desperately need some Sex Ed.”

 

Yuu went very, very pale.

Chapter 2: Cater - (Pain)ting

If Cater ever saw a white rose ever again, it would be too soon.

 

He turned away from the rosebush he had just finished painting. And came face to face with yet another bush.

 

Aw man.

 

He ran a hand through his hair, glaring at the paintbrush in his hand as if it had tried to personally beat him to death.

 

It certainly felt like it had. The smell of paint was starting to give him a serious headache.

 

But he needed to get this done before the Unbirthday Party, or else he’d lose his head. Which… pass. He liked his clones, thank you very much, they made work so much easier for him.

 

It was just as Cater started considering taking a break (or, perhaps, making a break for it ) that three freshmen appeared, as if they had been dropped out of the sky. Because they had been. This must be where the mirror was depositing people today…

 

Cater fought not to grin when one of the freshmen faceplanted in the grass. The other two openly snickered at their fallen friend, even though they, too, were on unsteady feet.

 

The fallen lay there in the grass, motionless.

 

Concern stole over the blue-haired one’s face. He knelt beside his friend and gently shook his shoulder.

 

The redhead, however, straight-up kicked him in the side. “Don’t play dead.”

 

“... one day I’ll actually die and you’ll feel like such a dick, then,” the one in a v-neck said, flopping onto his back solely to glare at the redhead.

 

The blue-haired one helped his friend to his feet.

 

And then the one in the v-neck looked at the sky. “Uh… Grim, if you can hear us. It’s safe for you to come through the mirror.”

 

He raised his hands to the sky, as if he were trying to call upon a god.

 

A small monster materialized. It plummeted directly into the boy’s waiting arms, and the boy smiled as he pressed a kiss to the top of its head.

 

Oh. Oh oh oh! Cater actually knew who these people were.

 

The kid with the monster was Yuu, the mysterious magicless student. The redhead who had been collared by Riddle would be Ace. And the one with blue hair was probably Ace’s roommate, Deuce.

 

Cater had already heard so much about these four. Particularly that they were troublemakers, according to an increasingly exasperated Riddle. Which, considering they had almost gotten expelled on their first day of school, Cater was inclined to agree.

 

Yuu wandered closer to where Cater was none-to-subtly eavesdropping on their conversation, seemingly just as curious about what Cater was doing as Cater was about them. “Why do I smell paint?”

 

“So you can smell things…” Deuce said, sounding like he was mentally taking notes.

 

Yuu shot him a glare. “Of course I can. I just… don’t always know what it means, I guess.”

 

Ace’s eyes were the first to narrow in on Cater, and then they narrowed further, something like suspicion in his gaze.

 

Cater flashed his brightest smile, waving cheerily. “Don’t mind me, I’m just taking a quick break from painting the roses.”

 

Yuu blinked a few times. He looked at Ace and Deuce for an explanation.

 

Now, Ace and Deuce should have had one. But they, like every other freshman, had probably tossed their pamphlet about the Queen’s rules away the second they got it. So, they, too, looked at Cater, confusion sparkling in their eyes.

 

Cater fought the urge to coo over them.

 

“Why’re you painting the roses?” the monster – it had said that the world was going to remember its name, back when it had torched the orientation room, but Cater had already forgotten it – asked.

 

“Just gotta,” Cater said. “The roses need to be red, and the flamingos have to be tended to in pink outfits, and the dormice need to be asleep. It’s the rules.”

 

The freshmen looked increasingly confused. Ah, to be young and innocent again. Cater missed those days…

 

Yuu had, apparently, given up on understanding the rules (a healthy mindset to have, frankly, who cares about the why, just do it to get it over with), and was now scrutinizing Cater’s face, for some reason.

 

Hey! He had just been joking about how old he was, but he didn’t want the freshman to look for wrinkles in his forehead! He was just 18, he couldn't have a midlife crisis already!

 

And then Yuu looked at Ace. “... is he an omega?”

 

Hm?

 

Ace cuffed him over the head. Deuce immediately started apologizing on Yuu’s behalf.

 

And Cater? All Cater could think was: Wild thing to say when your neck is out like a whore.

 

“You shouldn’t just – theorize about what someone is to their face !” Ace hissed.

 

“Well, he’s not wrong!” Cater said, brightly.

 

“That’s not the point, senpai,” Ace groaned, before grabbing Yuu by the shoulders and shaking him. “What would you think if someone started theorizing about what’s in your pants, huh?”

 

“Back where I’m from, that doesn’t really happen...”

 

Back where he’s from?

 

“And! Why did you think he was an omega, hm? I thought you couldn’t tell.”

 

Yuu eyed Cater.

 

“I had a feeling,” he said, dryly.

 

Cater’s smile was twitching dangerously.

 

Deuce dipped forward in a bow. “Sorry, senpai, he’s an alien, he’s still getting used to our culture.”

 

Cater was stunned.

 

Funnily enough, Yuu also looked a little bit surprised.

 

“I’m not an alien,” Yuu said.

 

“Sorry, sorry. He prefers ‘from another world’,” Deuce corrected himself.

 

“... politically, you’d be defined as an ‘alien’” Ace said, seemingly just to piss Yuu off.

 

It worked. Yuu stomped on Ace’s foot as hard as he possibly could.

 

Ace hissed. “You can’t just do that to an omega. I'm fragile, y’know.”

 

Yuu blinked back at him, all false innocence and thinly veiled snark when he said, “Oh, can I not? Sorry, I’m just an alien who is still getting used to your culture.”

 

Cater held up his hands. “Can we go back for a second? He’s an alien? Or, uh, they’re –?”

 

“He prefers ‘from another world’,” Deuce said, again, just a little more forceful this time. As if he had any room to talk, considering he had just made the same… mistake?

 

Yuu pinched the bridge of his nose. “Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Yuu. I’m from a world where… 'secondary sexes' don’t exist.”

 

Cater stared at him.

 

“... what?”

 

He gave a vague shrug. “How do you think I feel?”

 

Cater glanced down. What would that even look like?!

 

No, no, this had to be an insane man. His friends were humoring his delusions.

 

“Hey, Yuu, show him your wrists,” Ace said, as if he was aware of exactly where Cater’s mind was going.

 

Yuu heaved a sigh and presented his arms to him.

 

Cater stared.

 

He looked up at Yuu. “So, do you guys have kids through mitosis or something…?”

Notes:

Yuu, the second he meets Cater: bottom
Cater, internally: takes one to know one

Chapter 3: Trey - Butterflies are drawn to sweets (and decay)

Notes:

No one look at me I'm hyperfixating mind ur business

Trey was having a no-good, very bad week.

 

Granted, almost every week for Trey was no-good and/or very bad, but he tried not to think about that too much.

 

It all started when he made one simple mistake: agreeing to help three teens make up with Riddle.

 

They needed to bake a new tart to make up for the one that Ace had stolen. Trey happened to be one of the few teenage boys who knew how to make things that were better than ‘technically edible’. So, they’d gone to him.

 

And Trey felt a little bad for Ace. He had heard enough people complaining last year to know that it was uncomfortable. The inability to do magic was one thing, but the collar itself tended to chafe against, and even dig into, people’s scent glands when they weren’t careful. The boy had been wearing it all night…

 

Yes, it was meant to be a punishment, but Trey, privately, thought it was just a little too far.

 

So, he had agreed to help.

 

He would still make them do pretty much everything themselves, he knew thanks to his many younger siblings that lessons are not easily learned, but he was happy to, at least, guide them a little.

 

Or, at least, he thought he would be fine with it.

 

There was something weird about Yuu that he just couldn’t put his finger on.

 

Maybe he was a faerie. The fae always had a slightly uncanny feeling about them.

 

But he didn’t have magic, right? That was his whole thing…

 

Why was he so weird, then?

 

“So,” said Yuu, peering into his mixing bowl, deep in thought, as if he was trying to discern all of the world’s secrets, and was sure that they were hidden somewhere in the cream, if only he could find them. “I have… a question.”

 

Ace raised an eyebrow.

 

“What is it?” Trey asked, leaning over Yuu’s shoulder to see what he was making. The cream looked fine. The peaks were stiff, and yet also smooth and glossy… maybe he was just the kind of person to double-check everything.

 

“Omegas smell sweet, right?”

 

Deuce seemed to be going through the five stages of grief.

 

“Yeah?” said Trey.

 

“And… they all have different smells, right?”

 

“Yuu. Remember. Before you say something, you must consider – is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind?” Ace tried.

 

Yuu thought about it.

 

And then he said it anyway:

 

“Do alphas, like, smell cupcakes and instantly get turned on, or…?”

 

Trey stared at Yuu. Yuu stared right back at him. His expression was blank, as if he truly saw nothing wrong with what he’d just asked.

 

Maybe he just had a really good poker face. Surely, he couldn’t be asking that unironically…

 

Trey cleared his throat, awkwardly. “I don’t think this is going to be enough cream. You guys gathered a lot of chestnuts… anyone feel up to making a quick grocery store run?”

 

Ace jumped at the opportunity to bail, grabbing Yuu by the arm and dragging him towards the door.

 

“That wasn’t a ‘no’,” Yuu said.

 

Grim floated after them. “What does ‘turned on’ mean? Are humans usually ‘off’?”

 

Ace seemed to be regretting his decision to do the two alphas in the room a favor. He glanced back at Deuce, who had gone very red in the face, and mouthed ‘you fucking owe me’.

 

And then the two alphas were left alone.

 

Deuce groaned and pressed his face into his hands.

 

“Sorry, senpai…”

 

“Let’s just not talk about it,” Trey decided.

 

Deuce seemed perfectly happy to do so. They spent the next half an hour talking about literally anything else.

 

Alas, Trey’s life could never be peaceful for long.

 

When Ace and Yuu came back, Yuu’s nose was bleeding despite Grim’s best attempts to help his human (honestly, Grim seemed to be making things worse, as his fur-covered paws kept making Yuu sneeze), and Ace’s hair and clothes were hopelessly ruffled.

 

How did they manage to get in a fight?! They weren’t even gone for an hour!

 

Deuce rushed over to his friends.

 

He went for Ace, first, physically patting him down in search of hidden injuries. Ace rolled his eyes, but seemed content to let it happen.

 

Deuce must not have found anything wrong with Ace, because he turned to Yuu. He all but threw Grim out of the way. The monster cursed at him, its vocabulary surprisingly vast for such a simple creature. Deuce, of course, paid no mind to the monster's screaming. He grabbed Yuu by the face, tipping his chin up just slightly, so he could take in the damage. Yuu merely stared at him, blood still trickling from his nose, entirely content.

 

It was almost funny to see them together – Deuce’s frenzied state contrasted sharply with Yuu’s complete nonchalance.

 

Well, Deuce is gone, Trey thought, idly.

 

Trey looked at Ace. “What happened?”

 

“We ran into these two guys who really wanted a fight, apparently,” Ace said, his expression unreadable.

 

“We won,” said Grim, his chest puffing in sheer pride.

 

Yuu made a face, briefly. "Ah yes. The Royal We."

 

Deuce made a sound in the back of his throat that suggested the fact that Yuu had, apparently, fought two people on his own and won... wasn't comforting to him. For some reason.

 

Yuu tried to give him a placating smile, and then grimaced when blood threatened to slip into his open mouth.

 

Deuce wiped, frantically, at Yuu’s face with his sleeve. This, of course, merely smeared more blood over Yuu’s face, which only served to further stress Deuce out.

 

Ace handed Deuce a wet paper towel, which was, obviously, much more effective.

 

“I’m fine, Deuce,” Yuu said, trying in vain to bat Deuce’s hands away. He slumped just slightly when it became clear that Deuce wasn’t letting go anytime soon and resigned himself to the many, many tissues that were shoved in his face. “It’s just a bloody nose… I’m pretty sure they didn’t even break it…”

 

Deuce glared at Yuu. As if annoyed that Yuu wasn’t going along with his narrative that he was on the brink of death and needed someone to take care of him, lest the grim reaper take him into its arms prematurely.

 

“If you think I got off bad, you should see the other guys,” Yuu said.

 

“One of them bit my henchman, though,” Grim huffed. “Only I can bite my henchman…”

 

Trey’s blood ran cold.

 

“I’d prefer if no one bit me, actually,” Yuu said.

 

He didn’t deny it…

 

“WHAT?”

 

“I know, right?” Yuu said, rubbing his neck with a deep scowl. “It fucking hurt, too. The guy would not let go.”

 

There was a long, loaded silence.

 

Deuce’s hand threaded through Yuu’s hair, slowly, before yanking his head to the side. Yuu’s little hiss of pain was lost under the distressed whine Deuce gave. Which didn’t bode well in the slightest.

 

Trey walked over, careful to keep his distance, and his lips pressed into a thin line when his gaze landed on two small rows of indents in the back of Yuu’s shoulder, the area around them had flushed an angry shade of red.

 

Ace waltzed over to Trey and shoved two student IDs into his hands. “They were in Heartslabyul.”

 

Trey pocketed the IDs. “Okay! Well, we’re almost done with the tart, I’ll do the finishing touches, so you three can relax for a bit, m’kay?”

 

Deuce wasn’t capable of anything that wasn't clinging to Yuu’s side like a limpet, switching rapidly between glaring at a faint bite mark on Yuu’s shoulder, and nosing at Yuu’s scent glands in search of comfort.

 

Yuu, for his part, mostly just seemed confused by the whole ordeal.

 

Ace might have been able to help Trey… if Deuce didn’t immediately whine every time Ace started to get too close to him. Ace was soon forced to join the cuddle pile, much to his chagrin. He sat there as Deuce scented him, everything about him screaming about his eternal suffering.

 

(Unfortunately for Ace, this only seemed to make Deuce more insistent in his attempts to cheer him up.)

 

Trey ignored the small cuddle pile in favor of finishing off the tart.

 

He handed Ace and Yuu two slices of pie, and preened a little when they dug in. They weren’t his, but it still soothed a small part of him to see the omega and beta enjoying his food.

 

He considered giving Deuce a slice, but the boy was… otherwise occupied. He set aside a piece for him to take to Ramshackle tonight (because Ace wasn’t allowed back in Heartslabyul, yet, and there was no way that the three of them were going to leave each others’ sides tonight), but Grim ate it the second he looked away.

 

Trey sighed, mildly exasperated.

 

And then he waved the small group off. “Go have a sleepover at Yuu’s place. I’ll tell Riddle for you, m’kay?”

 

Ace hesitated. “The tart –.”

 

“You can always give it to Riddle tomorrow.”

 

And, apparently, that was how he ended up here. Watching his longtime best friend Overblot right in front of him.

 

The butterfly effect is crazy, he supposed.

 

Everyone stared, shocked and horrified, at the ink spilling from Riddle’s eyes. At the monster forming from the ink, congealing into a massive, writhing monster that seemed barely capable of holding a coherent shape.

 

Yuu looked at Ace and Deuce.

 

“Is this normal, or…?”

 

“No,” they snapped, in unison, for the first time in their life.

 

Yuu thought this over.

 

“This world sucks ass.”

Trey’s lips parted to ask what the hell that meant, because what did Yuu mean ‘this world’, but he was bowled over by a statue before he could get a word out.

Notes:

I like to imagine that Yuu's running monologue is literally just "whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck"

Chapter 4: Deuce - Alien, but familiar all the same

Notes:

This one is more fluffy than cracky but I'm sure you guys will manage lmao

Listen. Deuce had noticed rather quickly that Yuu just… wasn’t normal.

 

It wasn’t a problem with Yuu as a person, he was pretty sure. He was just – hard to read. In a way that Deuce had never seen before. His scent wasn’t muted in the way that suggested someone was suppressing their emotions, no, it was as if he didn’t have a scent at all.

 

So, when Yuu had admitted that he wasn’t from their world, Deuce had accepted it pretty easily. His new friend was an alien. Crazy. Anyways. Time to get this stupid magestone to their even stupider Headmaster… er – prove to their esteemed Headmage that they were capable enough to continue attending this fine institution.

 

And he didn’t put much more thought into it. Yuu was an alien – so what? He was still Deuce’s friend regardless of whether or not he was wearing a skinsuit.

 

It was a little uncomfortable, sometimes, though.

 

Like Deuce said, Yuu was extremely hard to read. He didn’t have a scent, and the barely-there smell of soap that lingered on him didn’t change depending on his mood.

 

Yuu finished chopping what had been a particularly stubborn mandrake into pieces, and leaned back against their cauldron while he waited for Deuce to finish the more magical parts of their Alchemy homework.

 

Now, Deuce would like to stress that leaning against a cauldron is never a good idea. This was an accident waiting to happen, but Deuce supposed everyone needs to learn the lesson of never forget about the often toxic chemicals right next to you at some point. And the potion was just a fast-acting muscle relaxer for omegas going through particularly difficult heats. It – probably – wouldn’t do anything to Yuu.

 

But Deuce’s concerns slipped right out of his head, because he recognized this particular expression on Yuu’s face: boredom. And a bored Yuu meant a thinking Yuu.

 

Deuce never liked learning what Yuu was thinking about.

 

Today was no exception:

 

“So… how does gender work, here?”

 

While a certain amount of the questions Yuu asked about their world were genuine, Deuce estimated that around 90% of them were asked simply because Yuu liked to watch Ace and Deuce squirm. And he could never tell ahead of time which one it was going to be.

 

He waited, silently, for the faint twist in Yuu’s scent, any hint of the faint orange note it should take on, should he feel particularly playful.

 

As always, there was no such indication, and Deuce was forced to scrutinize his friend’s face instead.

 

And, listen, Yuu was attractive enough. But, damn, Deuce was getting really sick of looking at him.

 

Mostly because it never helped.

 

He sighed, resigning himself to what will probably be an awkward situation:

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well… back where I’m from, most people’s gender is just their sex. If you’re an alpha, you’re a guy. If you’re an omega, you’re a girl. There are a couple of – it’s not statistically significant enough to spend hours explaining, actually. Anyway. The point is – the split is super obvious.”

 

Deuce was mildly curious about the thing that wasn’t ‘statistically significant’, but let it go. Instead, he tried to imagine the world Yuu had described. Girls and guys being treated as… wholly different entities. There were things that were split between alphas and omegas. Bathrooms tended to be split into alpha, omega, and maybe beta (even when betas were given their own bathroom, they tended to just go in one of the others’ bathrooms anyway, either out of habit or just mere preference).

 

But a split between girls and guys…?

 

Deuce’s nose scrunched at the thought.

 

And then he mulled over Yuu’s original question. He, of course, knew the process of determining gender, but how do you explain that to someone else?

 

“When it comes to gender… okay, alpha, omega, and beta are called your secondary sex, right? Well, the primary one is what decides your gender.”

 

Yuu’s eyebrows furrowed.

 

“So, do you have… two …? What does that even look like?”

 

Honestly, Deuce was wondering the same thing about Yuu. Quite frankly, without seeing each other, they would have no idea what the differences could even be… and that was assuming that the differences were visible at all.

 

“What – do you want to see?” Deuce asked, his voice pitching a little bit higher than usual in sheer incredulity.

 

Yuu’s lips twitched into a grin, and he flashed a wink Deuce’s way…

 

His head tipped back in a laugh at whatever expression Deuce had made in response.

 

Yuu held his hand out, still grinning. “Can I borrow your phone for a second?”

 

“You are not allowed to look up ‘human anatomy’ on my phone.”

 

“... I no longer need your phone.”

 

Deuce groaned and shoved him in the shoulder.

 

Yuu toppled right over and fell into the cauldron.

 

… see, this is why lab safety is important.

 

Deuce leaned precariously over the side of the cauldron, panic clawing up his throat as he peered inside, only slightly relieved when he found Yuu hadn’t, somehow, dissolved into nothing. His friend was simply laying in the brine, blinking repeatedly. Which meant he was processing… something.

 

Bad sign.

 

Yuu’s eyes, slowly, found their way to Deuce.

 

“What the fuckkkkkkkk…”

 

Deuce yanked Yuu out of the cauldron as quickly as he could, placing him on his feet. Which swayed uncertainly beneath Yuu, sending him straight into Deuce’s chest.

 

“What’s wrong?!” he said, tugging the barely responsive teen’s soaked shirt over his head in hopes that, if he wasn’t in contact with the potion anymore, it might prevent things from getting worse.

 

“I think it cured my colorblindness? Or – is it a psychedelic – holy shit, am I tripping?”

 

“What are you even talking about?!” Deuce said.

 

“Why does everyone’s hair look like that?”

 

Before Deuce could ask him what that meant (or, perhaps, even something actually useful like ‘can you stand on your own?’), the door to the classroom was flung open, revealing a panicking Grim.

 

Ah. Right. Familiar. Can generally sense Yuu’s current physical and emotional state.

 

“My henchman!” Grim damn-near screeched.

 

Terrible sign.

 

Thankfully, it wasn’t as bad as Deuce feared. Grim, inexperienced as he was, had overreacted. After a thorough checkup from Crewel (who stressed several times that they were going to be subjected to many remedial lessons), it was determined that Yuu was… assumed to be in good health. Apparently, his vitals were weirdly slow, but they seemed stable, which meant it was probably a product of being from another world, rather than something to be concerned about.

 

Deuce breathed a sigh of relief. “So, he’s okay?”

 

Yuu had been entranced by a video of cartoon fruits vaguely swaying from left to right.

 

“He’ll live,” Crewel said, with a grimace.

 

After observing Yuu some more, Deuce was inclined to agree. Sure, Yuu was a little… absentminded, and unsteady on his feet, and prone to saying anything that came to mind aloud (hence why Ace had given him a Cocomelon video to watch), but…

 

“He’s drunk, basically,” said Deuce.

 

“... do you have experience with that?” Ace asked.

 

Deuce cleared his throat, awkwardly. “I don’t drink.” Anymore.

 

Ace raised an eyebrow. “You seem… nervous… oh, you’re fucking joking, there’s no way. And you try to get onto me for shit –?”

 

“Crewel-sama, do you know when the effects of the potion will wear off?”

 

(Ace sent him a glare, but let the subject drop… for now. Deuce was sure this would come up again, once everything was back to normal.)

 

Crewel looked like he’d rather be literally anywhere else. Up and and including a morgue. “It’s hard to tell. The potion is only supposed to last for a few hours. When taken in normal doses. Which this is not.”

 

Grim looked like he wanted nothing more than to murder Deuce in his sleep.

 

Not that Deuce minded, he could totally take the monster in a fight, but Yuu would be so pissed once he sobered up and, frankly, Deuce didn’t want to deal with that.

 

The bell to signal the end of their study hall rang. Yuu started to wander away, off in search of their next class. Ace grabbed him by the arm before he could make his grand escape.

 

Crewel gave a sigh that seemed to come from the very depths of his soul.

 

“Take him back to your dorm. I’ll inform your teachers and dormhead. And that bas –... bird. But I doubt he’ll help all that much.”

 

“Did you almost call the Headmaster a ‘bastard’?” Deuce said, somewhat aghast. He’d heard worse, sure, but Crewel was a teacher?

 

Crewel pulled a couple of lollipops from his coat pocket. “You heard nothing. Also, he deserves it.”

 

Indeed, Crowley deserved to be called the many worse things that Deuce had heard over the years:

 

“I’m sure that Trappola-kun and Spade-kun have you covered, Yuu,” Crowley said, flashing a thumbs up.

 

Yuu, dazed and confused, returned his thumbs up.

 

Crowley beamed. He lifted a hand, as if he were about to pat Yuu on the head, but Grim growled at him and he seemed to think better of it. He turned to Ace and Deuce, instead, smiling. “See! You’ve got this – you should believe in yourselves more.”

 

And then he jumped out a nearby window before they could protest.

 

Ace and Deuce stared after him.

 

“... he’s so incompetent…” Deuce said, almost in awe. “How did he become Headmage?”

 

“What’s the opposite of imposter syndrome?” Ace asked.

 

“Being an imposter,” said Yuu. “And not knowing it.”

 

“Thanks, Yuu. I was looking for a specific thing to armchair diagnose the guy with, but that works too,” Ace said.

 

Deuce raised an eyebrow. “You’re being… weirdly nice to him.”

 

“There’s a time and place for being a dick,” Ace said, sagely.

 

“I have to go to the bathroom,” said Yuu.

 

“And the time is now!” said Ace. He shoved Yuu at Deuce. “Deal with it.”

 

The worst part was – Deuce couldn’t even, really, protest. He supposed that it kinda was his problem. Yuu only ever went in the alpha bathroom, for whatever reason, and Deuce was the only one who could go in without anyone making a fuss.

 

This didn’t mean he wanted to do it.

 

He squinted at Yuu’s face.

 

“... can you go on your own?”

 

Yuu gave him an almost petulant look. “Duh.”

 

Somehow, this instilled Deuce with less faith than if Yuu had outright said ‘no’.

 

He glanced at Grim. Grim was Yuu’s familiar. Technically, if anyone, Grim should be the one… taking care of…

 

… yeah, no. Deuce wasn't even going to finish that thought. He was pretty sure that that was just going to lead to even more problems in the long run.

 

So, he was forced to wait outside of the stall while Yuu went to the bathroom. His life was terrible.

 

And it only seemed to ever get worse.

 

The door trembled a few times, and then Yuu started knocking, frantically.

 

Deuce looked over. “Are you okay?”

 

“It won’t let me out!” Yuu said, sounding stressed.

 

“Did you remember to unlock the door?” Deuce asked, as patient as he could manage.

 

There was a quiet click. The door swung open.

 

“Oh,” said Yuu.

 

Deuce hoped that he had never been this useless before. He didn’t remember doing anything this embarrassing, but he honestly didn’t remember much at all from the many times he’d been intoxicated. Not because he’d blacked out, he just… hadn’t really been present. He’d been reacting to stimuli, at best.

 

… just like Yuu was doing.

 

Deuce needed to swear his old ‘friends’ into secrecy. Soon. Because his new, actual friends would never let him hear the end of it if they found out.

 

That would have to wait, though. For now, Deuce grabbed Yuu by the shoulder and shoved him toward the sink to make sure he remembered to wash his hands.

 

Next up: new clothes. Deuce feared that constant contact with potion residue might not help Yuu get better, and he didn’t really want Yuu to walk around in stained clothes, regardless. Yuu may be the type of guy to wear a v-neck, but Deuce wasn’t sure he would normally appreciate walking around shirtless, and he definitely shouldn’t go without pants.

 

But getting Yuu new clothes had its own problems. Should they go to Sam for a new set? Or should they just hand him some of their own?

 

He doubted that Yuu would mind if Deuce gave him some clothes – which was the problem. Yuu wouldn’t mind. He didn’t know what it meant.

 

He worried his lip, nervously.

 

He looked at Ace. “Should I give him my clothes?”

 

“I dunno. Don’t care, either, as long as I get this set,” Ace said, absently toying with the shirt in his hands.

 

Deuce narrowed his eyes at him.

 

“What? It’s not like we’ll be able to get the stain out, anyway. And my heat’s coming up, I need it.”

 

Deuce still wasn’t sure this was ethical.

 

“You don’t mind, right?” Ace asked Yuu, flashing a thumbs up.

 

Yuu blinked a few times. And then, once again, returned the thumbs up that had been thrown his way.

 

“Behold: consent,” Ace said, smirking.

 

Deuce punched him in the arm. Yuu was in no place to consent to anything, let alone something as intimate as sharing clothes.

 

Ace huffed. “C’mon, man. You can give him your clothes, if you want. I doubt he’d even notice.”

 

Deuce took a deep breath.

 

And then he grabbed Yuu by the arm and started dragging him toward Sam’s shop, grumbling curses under his breath. Life was so much easier when he was a delinquent.

 

His foot tapped as he looked at Sam’s selection of shirts.

 

He glanced at Yuu.

 

Yuu had told Cater that his species didn’t do mitosis, which meant… they, probably, had some form of sexual reproduction.

 

So, the shirts without collars were probably a choice he was making. Okay. He grabbed a button down shirt for him. Yuu could choose how many buttons he wanted.

 

And then he grabbed a set of drawstring sweatpants. It’d make for a weird outfit, but Deuce couldn’t think of any way to figure out Yuu’s size without checking the tags, and that felt icky. So, they needed something with an adjustable waistband.

 

He set everything on the counter.

 

Ace leaned against it, pouting. “Are you sure you want to buy new clothes for him, Deuce?”

 

Yes. If anything, Ace’s constant insistence that he shouldn’t only further convinced Deuce that he was making the correct choice.

 

“What’s the big deal, anyway?” Grim asked.

 

“I am not giving sex ed to a fucking raccoon,” Ace said.

 

“I’m not a raccoon!” Grim snapped, immediately distracted. As Ace intended, Deuce was sure.

 

Their argument ended the moment it began, though. Because Yuu set a couple of chocolate bars on the counter. It wasn’t exactly shocking or anything, but it hadn’t been expected either.

 

Deuce sighed, but shrugged internally. If Yuu was craving chocolate, he could have chocolate. Maybe the sugar and barely-there caffeine content would help wake him up a little.

 

But, once Sam rang up their purchase, Yuu turned and dumped the chocolate into Ace’s arms.

 

Ace and Deuce looked at each other, mildly confused. It wasn’t like Ace was super into chocolate or anything, he tended to get his sugar fix from fruits...

 

“... thanks?” said Ace.

 

Yuu ruffled his hair, smiling.

 

Well. That was that, Deuce supposed.

 

Now that they had everything they needed (or, at least, Deuce hoped they had everything they needed), Ace and Deuce took him back to their dorm.

 

It wasn’t the first time they’d done so, so they didn’t earn any weird looks from the kids who were skipping class in the lounge. Outside of Cater, who just asked why they were skipping class.

 

“You’re skipping class, too,” Ace pointed out.

 

“Nah, I’ve got a clone attending class for me,” Cater said, waving them off.

 

“That’s so unfair,” grumbled Grim.

 

“Probably,” said Cater, who didn’t seem all that broken up about it. “Now, why are you four skipping class? Also, why’s he shirtless? Probably should have asked that one first...”

 

“Yuu fell in a potion and now he’s drunk, so we’re taking care of him,” Deuce said.

 

Cater grinned. “Oh. Okay.” And then he began typing frantically on his phone.

 

Deuce decided that he really didn’t want to know what Cater was telling The Masses. Nor did he want to give the guy the opportunity to take a picture of them for his Magicam account, so he rushed his friends up to their room and made sure to lock the door behind them.

 

And then he turned to Yuu. Shirtless. His skin stained pink. Absently petting Grim (this wasn't relevant, just kinda cute).

 

“You need to get cleaned up,” he decided. “Do you want me to prepare a bath for you, or do you prefer showers?”

 

“I like baths,” Yuu said.

 

Deuce nodded.

 

Ace, however, shook his head. “What’re you talking about? You like to sit in your own filth? Baths are gross, man, take a shower.”

 

Now, Deuce had heard that opinion before. But… “Don’t you –?”

 

“Deuce, get with the program, we’re lying to him.”

 

Yuu frowned. “You are?”

 

“No,” said Ace. “That was a joke.”

 

“Ohhhhhh. Crazy. Alright.”

 

Deuce patted the top of Yuu’s head a few times (it didn’t matter if he scented him a little, Yuu was about to bathe, anyway) and then turned to give Ace a look that he hoped properly conveyed the ‘what the fuck’ he was feeling.

 

Ace sighed and leaned close to his ear.

 

“Listen. He could drown in the bath. Or slip in the shower. I’m not putting anything past him right now. At least we would be able to hear if he fell in the shower.”

 

Deuce thought about it.

 

“Can’t you just watch over him while he bathes?” he asked.

 

“Why don’t you do that?!”

 

“... good point,” he said, grimacing at the idea.

 

Yuu took a shower. There were no major incidents. Thank The Seven.

 

Everything sorted, Ace dragged Yuu to his nest. Which wasn’t particularly uncommon. When Yuu came over, Ace always made a point to make Yuu sit in his nest for at least a few minutes. The ethics of doing so were dubious at best.

 

Wait a minute.

 

“You don’t even need his clothes!” Deuce said. “You already have his scent!”

 

Ace scowled. “No, I don’t. It doesn’t stick, like, at all.”

 

Deuce narrowed his eyes. “Then his clothes won’t do anything, either.”

 

“Let a man dream,” Ace whined.

 

“What are you guys even talking about?” Yuu asked.

 

“Omega stuff,” Ace said.

 

Yuu frowned. “I miss my old world. Things made sense there.”

 

Ace, Deuce, and Grim went very tense.

 

Because, sure, Deuce had suspected that Yuu must miss his old world. How could he not? He, probably, had friends and family back home that he wished he could see again. But… Yuu had never really talked about it. Not outside of explaining a couple of things from his reality, and he only really did that when asked.

 

Deuce hesitated, walking to the edge of Ace’s nest, because he wasn’t going to enter it without permission.

 

Should he ask about it? Yuu would probably tell them, if they asked. But would he do that if he wasn’t under the influence of a potion?

 

He worried his lip.

 

“You’ll – you’ll get it, one day, there’s just a bit of a learning curve,” he said, quietly.

 

Yuu looked dubious. And then he sighed and flopped back in Ace’s nest.

 

Oh. Right. That.

 

Deuce went right back to glaring at Ace.

 

Ace shrugged, entirely unrepentant. “You can join us.”

 

Listen. At the end of the day, Deuce was just a man.

 

(He had turned down a chance to give Yuu his clothes, okay?! He had done his civic duty! Let him have this!)

 

The rest of the day went relatively smoothly. They settled down to watch a new TV series that had come out. It was terrible. Which meant it was the best thing to watch with friends.

 

The only thing of note was Ace getting up, once, to grab Yuu a glass of water.

 

Which Yuu, of course, immediately spilled.

 

“Ah, shit.”

 

Ace sighed. “Okay. If you want to drink water, tell me, and I’ll help.”

 

Yuu pouted. “I can drink water just fine, thanks.”

 

Ace looked, pointedly, at the water on his shirt.

 

He gasped. “Did you spill water on me? This is sabotage!”

 

Ace pressed his fingers to his temples, as if he could ward off his impending headache by sheer force of will alone.

 

It must not have worked.

 

But then Yuu giggled.

 

Ah. Even when ‘drunk’, Yuu was the type to mess with people. Of course.

 

And, somehow, he was still impossible to read. Life is unfair.

 

Yuu grinned and pressed a kiss to Ace's forehead.

 

Ace's annoyance disappeared. Immediately. He was buffering, give him a minute.

 

And then Yuu turned over, wrapping his arms around Deuce in a kind of hug. “Thanks for taking care of me,” he said, quietly.

 

Deuce looked over. Raised an eyebrow. “Sobering up?”

 

“Think so,” he agreed.

 

A blush slowly crept up Yuu’s face, which he immediately tried to hide in the crook of Deuce’s neck, groaning.

 

“Thinking about how lame you were today?” Ace teased, as if he wasn’t silently seething that Yuu had chosen Deuce to cuddle with. As if he hadn't just gotten a kiss on the forehead. Greedy.

 

Deuce grinned, absently resting a hand on the back of Yuu’s head, allowing him to hide away. Because it annoyed Ace. Obviously.

 

“What? I, for one, think he was kinda cute.”

 

“Noooooooo …”

Notes:

You know. This is a story about culture clashes and Yuu's alienation in this new world. But it comes across as an allegory for autism. Bc I'm autistic. LMAO

Chapter 5: Trey - Please give this man a break

It was a nice, peaceful day in Heartslabyul, and Trey intended to enjoy it.

 

“Ace, come oooon,” Yuu whined.

 

It was a nice. Peaceful Day. In Heartslabyul. And Trey intended to. Enjoy It.

 

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the room smelled like the quiche he was baking for Cater, the first years –.

 

Don’t pay attention to them!

 

“I have to know, okay? It’s eating me up inside,” Yuu said.

 

“I’m not going to show you what I have! ”

 

Okay, that was concerning.

 

“C’mon, Aceeeeee, we’re both guys.”

 

“I’m an omega!”

 

“So there’s a difference,” Yuu said, a victorious edge in his voice.

 

“Shut up! ”

 

“Then give me your phone,” Yuu said. “I’ll figure it out.”

 

Nevermind, false alarm. This was just Yuu’s weird lack of knowledge about literally anything ‘from this world’ coming back to bite him.

 

“You are not allowed to watch porn on my phone!”

 

“What, scared that the search bar is going to autocomplete –?”

 

Ace made a strangled sound. Yuu made a being-strangled sound. Trey’s dreams of a nice, relaxing day faded like a whisper in the wind, lost to time.

 

He, slowly, pushed himself up into a crouching position, peering over the countertop to find the two teens rummaging through Heartslabyul’s communal fridge.

 

“All I’m saying is that I might end up dating someone at some point! And you don’t want me to go into that blind, do you?”

 

“Are you interested in someone?” Ace asked, skeptically.

 

“I could be!” Yuu crossed his arms over his chest. “But that’s not the point, I need to know if I’m going to be here for a while.”

 

Ace and Yuu stared each other down. It was a little funny, considering Yuu was doing so from halfway within the fridge, and had to crane his neck at an awkward angle to meet Ace’s gaze.

 

Ace’s eyes narrowed.

 

“When an alpha and omega love each other very much,” Ace began.

 

Yuu jolted so hard that there was an audible bang when his head against one of the fridge’s shelves. And then, as if he had reached a concussion-induced ephiphany, he slammed his face into the shelf a few more times, trying to knock himself out.

 

“I fucking knew you were just messing with me,” Ace hissed.

 

Maybe they’re like T-Rexes, Trey thought. If I don’t move, they won’t see me.

 

“Trey, which of these is the closest to being expired?” Ace asked.

 

Trey grimaced.

 

“The… cherry tart, I think.”

 

Ace picked up said cherry tart and then turned it upside-down right over Yuu’s head, leaving the poor boy standing there, red dripping from his hair. It looked to be a rather gory sight. Trey just hoped that there wasn’t any actual blood and gore mixed in there.

 

Yuu lifted a hand to shield his eyes from a possible sugary demise. He found a rather large cherry on his shoulder and, after a moment’s thought, popped it into his mouth.

 

“The pie’s good, Trey-senpai,” he said.

 

“Why are you nice to him?!” Ace asked.

 

“‘Cause he makes pie. You should never piss off someone who makes pie.”

 

Trey took the quiche out of the oven and then promptly made a great escape, hiding in the comfort and safety of his room, where he took a much-needed nap.

Chapter 6: Deuce - Had him in the first half, not gonna lie

"I don't get it," said Yuu.

 

"Don't get what?" Deuce asked.

 

Ace slapped his hand over Deuce's mouth, glaring at him. "Shut the fuck up."

 

Deuce raised an eyebrow at him.

 

"Haven't you realized that every time Yuu asks a question, it makes everyone miserable?"

 

Deuce had yet to forget the day that Yuu asked him how babies were made with an innocent, almost vulnerable little frown. He pressed his lips together thinly.

 

Yuu crossed his arms over his chest. "You could at least wait until I've told you my question before you say no."

 

Ace raised an eyebrow. "Do I have to remind you of the T.H.I.N.K. acronym again?"

 

Grim poked his henchman's cheek. "He's genuinely confused. No evilness here."

 

Now, for the record, Grim would totally lie for Yuu's sake. However, Grim was a terrible liar, so Deuce was pretty sure that he could trust this, at least, to be relatively safe to answer.

 

"What do you want to know?"

 

"Why are there all-boys schools here?"

 

Ace stared at Yuu. Deuce stared at Yuu. Grim stared at Yuu's lunch.

 

"... I think you're going to have to explain that one more," Ace said, eventually.

 

"Well..." Yuu hesitated, a small frown playing across his lips. "So, in my world, there are all-boys and all-girls schools, but that's because most people date the opposite gender, and their parents want to stop them from dating and having kids. But, here, guys can have kids, and people who are the same gender date all the time. They even let you two dorm together, and surely an alpha and omega being roommates isn't exactly... safe, right?"

 

Oh.

 

That... was a normal question.

 

Deuce hadn't known that Yuu was capable of those.

 

Deuce crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, the school's on a mostly deserted island, right? This place is supposed to... how do I explain this?"

 

"It's for kids who aren't super nice and sweet," Ace said.

 

"Oh. So it's this world's version of sending your kid off to military school to 'shape up' or whatever..."

 

"Exactly," said Deuce.

 

"But why is it all-boys?" Yuu asked.

 

Ace and Deuce looked at each other. Because what was the point of separating genders? He couldn't think of any other examples where 'girls' and 'boys' were treated as separate entities besides, perhaps, when it came to fashion... and, even then, the lines were starting to blur.

 

The dormhead wore heels. One of the guys in the basketball club wore skirts (to everyone's dismay). Vil Schoenheit.

 

Yeah, just Vil Schoenheit.

 

"I... don't know," Ace admitted.

 

Yuu thought about this for a long while. And then he sighed. "I still think my world is better. There, I wouldn't have had to deliver a fucking baby."

 

Ace groaned and went back to eating, grumbling about this again under his breath.

 

"I still can't believe the Headmaster made you do that," Deuce said.

 

"I can. Guy's a cunt," said Grim.

 

Yuu choked. "Grim, you can't just say that."

 

"But he is," said Grim. "Didn't he forget to tell you what to do?"

 

"No. He asked me 'do you know about the birthing process' and I said 'I had to watch a video on it for class, once, it was traumatizing, why?' and then he was like 'good enough' and threw me in with the fucking wolves. Actually, no, I would have preferred to fight a pack of wolves, actually."

 

Ace rolled his eyes. "When are you going to get over that?"

 

"It was last week," said Yuu.

 

"Exaaaaaaaactly. When does the denial stage of grief start?"

 

Yuu narrowed his eyes at him. "So you think you could handle it better, then?"

 

"I mean, I've even got the parts to do it myself."

 

"Don't remind me," said Yuu. "And, if you really think it's no big deal, then why don't you handle the next baby? Because someone's due to have a kid a month before school ends, and I don't want to do it."

 

Ace's eye twitched. "Wait, what?"

 

"Thanks for volunteering, Ace, you're such a good friend."

 

Ace looked at Deuce, visibly terrified.

 

"You walked into this one, man. I'm not helping you."

 

"... what if I say I'm sorry and promise to let you complain all you want?" Ace asked.

 

"He skipped right over denial and anger and went straight to bargaining," said Yuu. "You're almost at acceptance, buddy, I believe in you."

Chapter 7: Riddle - You know what they say about assuming things...

Riddle Rosehearts was not sure how to handle so many troublesome freshmen.

 

First, there was Ace Trappola.

 

He could explain that point more thoroughly, but that was hardly necessary.

 

Second, there was Deuce Spade. Riddle had had much higher hopes for him. He hadn’t caused any problems during the ceremony... which was a low bar to clear, but he had managed to clear it, unlike some other students. Unfortunately, he was prone to getting swept up into fights and shenanigans, especially when Ace Trappola and Yuu were involved. 

 

Third, there was the magicless student. Yuu wasn’t technically a part of his dorm, which made it doubly infuriating when he made Riddle’s life difficult! His familiar was untrained to the point where it had burned down the Mirror Chamber before school had even started. He constantly found himself in the middle of just about every little thing that happened on campus. And that wasn’t even mentioning how many complaints Riddle had heard about the student’s general lack of decorum.

 

And. And! He refused to wear shirts with any kind of collar. Riddle had been understanding for the first month, as Yuu was clearly struggling for cash, but surely he should have been able to afford at least one serviceable shirt by now.

 

The worst part was — he did have an appropriate shirt. He simply refused to wear it properly. The few times Riddle had ever seen him in a button-up, he’d left the top few buttons unbuttoned. Which meant that it was absolutely on purpose.

 

Riddle thought he would snap when Yuu came to, quote, ‘hang out’ with Ace and Deuce in their dorm room, while wearing a v-neck. A v-neck!

 

Listen, Riddle wasn’t a prude – or, at least, he was working on it, his Overblot had shown him that a strict adherence to the rules only made everyone utterly miserable – but really . A v-neck? Did the entire world need to know what was going on in that dorm room?

 

Not to mention! Did a single one of them know any safe sex practices? Riddle had seen their grades, they weren’t instilling hope in him.

 

So, he ‘invited’ every freshman in his dorm to a safe sex seminar. It felt wrong to abuse the Queen of Hearts’s system, but Riddle cited a false rule in order to ensure that the three students he was really doing this for actually came. If the freshmen fell for his little ruse, it was, frankly, their own fault for not reading the rule book Riddle had so lovingly provided them at the beginning of the semester.

 

Riddle breathed a sigh of relief when Ace and Deuce stepped into the room, Yuu in tow.

 

Throughout the entire lecture, Yuu looked fascinated (and, perhaps, slightly disgusted) by everything on the screen. It wasn’t the pictures, Riddle had opted for the most informational diagrams he could find, there was no way Yuu could be into the flat colors and vague topographical maps. He just… frankly, seemed as if he had never seen any of this before.

 

Was he raised by wolves?

 

Despite this minor hiccup, Riddle finished his lecture, content with the fact that he had done all that he could to keep his dorm members as healthy as possible. It would be up to them to actually put these methods into practice, of course, but Riddle wasn’t intent on outright standing in their room while they were – y’know – to make sure they were following his teachings, so he would have to hope that his advice alone was enough.

 

Unfortunately, just when Riddle was content to lay the whole thing to rest, he overheard the conversation the three problematic freshmen engaged in on their way out:

 

“Why’d you like his lecture and not mine?” Ace hissed.

 

“I like the way Roshearts-senpai teaches it,” Yuu said, sounding somewhat defensive.

 

“He’s not gonna fuck you,” Ace said.

 

Yuu’s face flushed, and Riddle could see him respond, but they were out of earshot by that point.

 

Not that Riddle was particularly interested in hearing Yuu defend his own honor, not when that first sentence kept replaying in his mind. No, he had bigger things to worry about:

 

Ace was the one teaching Yuu about sex ed?

 

Well, Riddle supposed that it was necessary that someone taught him, if they were going to be engaging in such activities, but he was slightly concerned on Yuu’s behalf. That was giving a lot of power to one person in the relationship. Especially when that person was Ace Trappola. Who cares if he was an omega? That didn’t mean he couldn’t take advantage of Yuu’s naivety.

 

Okay. Well. Yuu liked the way that Riddle taught, perhaps because the clinical nature made the subject less… overall mortifying. So, Riddle would just have to… help him out a little. For his own peace of mind.

 

“Here, a tie,” Riddle said, all but thrusting it into Yuu’s hands the next time he saw them.

 

Yuu gave him a slightly awkward smile.

 

“It’s new,” Riddle said. “I haven’t scented it at all, I promise. I simply noticed that your uniform was missing a tie, and wanted to correct this.”

 

“Uh – thanks, senpai,” Yuu said, staring at it with a complicated expression.

 

“Do you not know how to tie a tie?” Riddle asked.

 

Yuu glanced to the side, at Ace and Deuce, who both looked extremely awkward, before turning his attention back to Riddle. “No, I do.”

 

Riddle raised an eyebrow.

 

Yuu, with a strange amount of reluctance, tied it around his neck, and then gave Riddle a short bow as a kind of ‘thank you’.

 

“A disorderly uniform indicates a disorderly person,” Riddle stressed, hoping that Yuu would understand.

 

Yuu swallowed thickly, but nodded his understanding.

 

And then Grim floated over, and poked at the tie around his ‘henchman’s’ neck, shooting Riddle a nasty glare. “You’re making my henchman sick.”

 

“Because of a tie?” Riddle asked, somewhat incredulous. He looked at Ace and Deuce, who seemed just as confused.

 

It was then that Yuu’s composure broke.

 

Yuu jerked away from the monster to gag, his hand flying to his throat so he could loosen the tie himself. It wasn’t until he had yanked the offending scrap of fabric away from his neck that he seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.

 

Oh. Oh no. Riddle hadn’t even considered that, perhaps, Yuu might have some sort of trauma surrounding his neck. He had assumed that, since Yuu was a beta, much like Riddle himself, there really wasn’t much reason for something like that to happen to him.

 

“I deeply apologize,” Riddle said, dipping forward in a bow.

 

“It’s fine, most people’s necks aren’t –.” Yuu’s hand came up to his mouth for just a second, and he squeezed his eyes shut tight. And then he flashed Riddle a halfhearted smile. “– sensitive, the way mine is. Even my – most people don’t really get it.”

 

Riddle nodded along, feeling thoroughly chastised despite the fact that Yuu wasn’t at all taking that sort of tone with him.

 

And then he paused.

 

“... sensitive?” Riddle repeated.

 

Yuu sighed. “Yeah. Don’t know why, but touching my neck just makes me feel… nauseated. I can’t wear turtlenecks, some hoodies… I can’t even grow out my hair too much, ‘cause that can trigger it, too. Which sucks, because I really like the style.”

 

Riddle stared at Yuu. Deuce stared at Yuu. Ace stared at Yuu.

 

“Oh,” said Riddle. Not feeling quite as bad, now, but certainly not feeling good about it.

 

Ace groaned. “Yuu, we thought you were a slut this whole damn time, why didn’t you say anything?”

 

“You thought I was a – why?” said Yuu, his eyes blowing wide.

 

Yuu looked at Deuce for confirmation. Deuce looked at his shoes, but he clearly wasn’t actually paying all that much attention, because he had yet to realize that his laces were untied.

 

“What do you mean ‘why’?” said Riddle.

 

Ace rubbed his temples. “Hey, Yuu. Did I tell you about Claiming?”

 

“... no?” said Yuu.

 

Ace sighed, deeply. “Okay, long story short, if someone bites someone else’s neck, they Claim them as a mate.”

 

Yuu’s eyebrows knit. “Why?”

 

“I dunno. Feels right, I guess,” Deuce said.

 

“We’ve been doing it for centuries,” Riddle said, flatly. “Whether or not the tradition has a biological basis, or purely a learned behavior, is difficult to tell.”

 

The only way to find out would be to find a child who had never experienced human society before. Which, from the sounds of it, Yuu might just be… but Riddle figured that experimenting on him was, probably, unethical.

 

“So, because we bite people to Claim them,” Ace said, slowly. “Walking around with your neck exposed indicates… a certain… willingness.”

 

Yuu’s lips parted in a tiny ‘o’ shape, and his face flushed red.

 

Riddle frowned. “Have you really never thought to talk about this before?”

 

“Why would we talk about it?” said Ace.

 

“You must not be as serious as I thought…” said Riddle, frowning. Because, really, it was one thing to not claim a partner (depending on who it was, some people would only claim after marriage), but to not even discuss it?

 

Ace, Deuce, and Yuu were staring at him.

 

“We’re not dating,” said Yuu.

 

Riddle glanced down at where the two were casually holding onto Yuu’s wrists. It may not be explicitly romantic, but it definitely indicated a kind of closeness that was most often seen in romantic partners.

 

Ace sighed.

 

“Yuu, show him your wrist for a second,” he said.

 

Riddle flushed red as Yuu shoved his wrist into his face.

 

And then the color drained right out.

 

“Where are your scent glands?!” Riddle asked, yanking on Yuu’s arm so he could peer closer at the perfectly smooth skin there. He poked at where his glands should be, as if expecting them to reveal themselves under his touch, and yet there was nothing. It was disgusting.

 

“You know, just once, I’d like someone to react to my body with something other than shock and horror,” Yuu deadpanned, pulling his arm out of Riddle’s grasp so he could pinch the bridge of his nose.

 

“How could I not?!” Riddle said, all composure, all of those strict lessons on how to be polite, flying out the window in the face of - whatever Yuu may be. “You’re – a freak of nature!”

 

“Yeah, well, you’re all vampires, so.”

 

Riddle considered himself well-read, but he could not say he had ever heard the term before.

 

Yuu lit up, strangely enough, upon realizing that he was, apparently, the only one who knew what a vampire was.

 

(Riddle would come to regret ever wondering what it was.)

Notes:

This one is a very specific grievance but why do turtlenecks feel so BadTM

Chapter 8: Ruggie - Making the guy with completely different biology work as a nurse was not Crowley's brightest idea

Notes:

"Oh no, I have a Y3! chap due on the first... *finishes connecting scenes*... anyways, back to the current hyperfixation"

Ruggie groaned as he took a seat on one of the hospital beds. Everything hurt. He’d been beat up on national TV. But this was far more damaging to his emotional health than anything.

 

It was still pretty bad for his physical health, though.

 

Still, he didn’t quite relax, not yet.

 

Yuu trudged over. He had been wrapped in bandages to stop the bleeding and that, apparently, meant he was in good enough shape to work. Ruggie felt a strange kind of solidarity with the guy.

 

This didn’t mean that there were no hard feelings, though. Yuu had foiled all of their plans, had ruined their chances of winning the Magift tournament. Sure, he'd helped Ruggie with the whole Not Dying to and Overblot thing, to the guy's own detriment, and Ruggie could admit that he owed him... but that didn't mean he had to be happy about it.

 

“Not gonna take care of Leona first?” Ruggie teased.

 

Yuu didn’t flinch, though he did start scratching his arm. Or, at least, he tried to, the bandages made it hard to get any real relief.

 

“I’ll do him last. If I even need to do anything for him – he’s a prince, he’s probably got someone he can call for that,” Yuu said, giving up on his itchy arm (damn, he’d made Ruggie’s arm itch, too) in favor of flipping through Ruggie’s files.

 

He paused on a particular page.

 

“You don’t have your shots,” said Yuu, his tone carefully light.

 

“Try it and I’ll bite you,” said Ruggie.

 

“Aw, don’t do that. I haven’t had my rabies shots yet.”

 

First of all, that sounded like a major oversight on Yuu’s part. Especially when working in a hospital setting… sometimes, honestly it just seemed like he did whatever the Headmaster asked of him.

 

Second of all. Leverage.

 

“Come at me and you will need a rabies shot,” Ruggie warned.

 

Yuu hesitated.

 

And then he stuck a hand out for Ruggie to shake. Which he did. An unspoken understanding passed between them. Who cares if they had been enemies for over a month? They had a common enemy – shots.

 

Yuu drew back, flipping through a few more pages before sighing.

 

“Right, there shouldn’t be any complications –.”

 

“Yuu, get back in bed,” Deuce hissed. He reached out, intent on grabbing Yuu by the wrist as he had done many times before, but stopped himself short, his lips curling into a scowl at the sight of the bandages there.

 

Yuu sent a smile Deuce’s way, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Don’t worry about it. I just need to finish up work, then I’ll rest, okay?”

 

“Shouldn’t be working…” Deuce grumbled.

 

“I’m a big boy, I’ll be fine,” said Yuu, flexing one of his arms jokingly. “It’s not that strenuous, either. I’m just making sure he hasn’t broken anything, for the most part. I barely have to move at all.”

 

Deuce didn’t seem particularly relieved.

 

“I’m not that fragile, you know.”

 

Says the guy who’s gonna Get Got by rabies, thought Ruggie.

 

Was this hypocritical of him to think? Probably. But also. He was ignoring this.

 

Yuu sent him a halfhearted glare when he snickered.

 

“Take off whatever you’re comfortable with. Keep in mind that it’s easier for me to check for things like broken ribs and internal bleeding if you have less fabric on.”

 

Ruggie nodded along, though he wasn’t particularly eager to start stripping. Not because he was shy or anything. They were all guys, and betas really didn’t have much to hide, anyway. But because his Magift outfit was not easy to get off. There were way too many pieces. Kneepads, buckles, elbow pads, shinguards, gloves… ugh, he would have to carry all of this all the way back to his dorm…

 

Yuu watched on dispassionately, his foot tapping a steady rhythm on the floor.

 

Deuce rested his chin on Yuu’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around Yuu’s waist. For a second, Ruggie was a  little nervous that the alpha was trying to peek at his file, but then Deuce nuzzled his face into Yuu’s neck, pressing his nose against the place where Yuu’s scent glands should have been.

 

(Ruggie shuddered at the reminder that Yuu, despite his looks, was not human. And he had no problems with nonhumans, in theory. He didn’t mind the kid’s familiar, after all. And Yuu didn’t seem particularly malevolent… it was just… he didn’t know what the guy was.)

 

Ruggie messed with his belt buckle, consideringly.

 

But then Yuu made a strange, strangled sound.

 

Ruggie looked up.

 

“Where are your –?!” Yuu began, his eyes stuck on Ruggie’s chest, for some reason.

 

And then he turned and grabbed Deuce’s shirt, pushing it up. Everyone went very still. Including Yuu, who had locked his eyes on Deuce’s chest, now, his expression flat.

 

Ace, who had been on his way over, a couple of drinks in hand, took one look at The Situation and immediately turned back around.

 

“Hey, Ace,” said Yuu.

 

Ace strung an impressive number of swear words together.

 

“Do –?” Yuu cut himself off with a sigh. He let go of Deuce’s shirt in favor of rubbing his temple. “Okay, quick anatomy lesson. Do – do men have nipples?”

 

Everyone stared at Yuu.

 

“I don’t think I want to be treated by you,” Ruggie said. “Is there another ‘doctor’ here? Actually, have you studied any medicine at all? There’s no fucking way…”

 

Ace strode over and grabbed Yuu’s shirt, this time, pulling it all the way up over his head. Thankfully, this hid everyone’s faces from view as they stared at the nipples why did he have nipples?!

 

Ruggie flushed and looked away respectfully, even as his mind tried to make sense of the new information. Was Yuu an omega, then? That made his lack of scent even weirder…

 

No, yeah, whatever this guy was, it wasn’t human.

 

“Why do you have these?! ” said Deuce, his voice high and squeaky and utterly unbecoming of an alpha.

 

“I dunno, man!” Yuu complained. “I can get rid of them.”

 

“THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN GET RID OF THEM?!” Ace screeched.

 

“Apparently, you can freeze them off if you use enough deodorant,” said Yuu.

 

Deuce groaned. “Don’t do that. Oh my Sevens.”

 

“Never said I was gonna, just that I can,” Yuu said, somewhat petulantly. “I think I’d have a breakdown if I woke up tomorrow without them.”

 

“Then why bring it up at all?” Deuce said.

 

“Just laying out all of the options.”

 

“Yuu, we’re putting you in an MRI machine,” said Ace.

 

Yuu grimaced. “Aw… but they’re scary…”

 

“Too bad. I don’t want any more ‘surprises’.”

 

Yuu, for some reason, went very red. With anger.

 

“I HAD TO DELIVER A BABY TO FIGURE OUT HOW GUYS HAD KIDS, YOU AREN’T THE ONE SUFFERING HERE.”

 

Ruggie pulled out his phone and started begging Leona to give him access to his doctors. He didn’t trust Yuu on this. For obvious reasons.

 

Leona agreed. Sweet. Ruggie loved guilting people for free shit. He was going to milk his partially dissolved arm for all that it was worth.

 

He hopped up, collecting his things.

 

He got to the door, and something occurred to him.

 

He glanced back at the three first years.

 

“Yuu is unvaccinated.”

 

“Oh you cunt –,” Yuu hissed.

 

Ruggie ran off before Yuu could actually retaliate.

 

(He got his karmic punishment for this. The palace doctors realized he, too, was unvaccinated, and were much less willing to let this slide than Yuu had been.)

Chapter 9: Jack - Lifelong bonds formed through... forced proximity, apparently

Jack would like to say that he was very confused by the resident magicless student. They had agreed to work together, for the sake of putting a stop to Leona’s plans. Temporarily. But Leona’s plans had been foiled, and the guy was still hanging around him.

 

It wasn’t that Jack really disliked Yuu – considering the seemingly endless patience he had for Ace, Deuce, and Grim’s shenanigans, he seemed to be decent company. But Jack wasn’t looking to make friends. He was a lone wolf in every sense of the word.

 

Unfortunately for him, the extrovert had decided that Jack was his new government-appointed introvert, and had made it his life’s goal to befriend him.

 

“I can’t believe him,” Yuu complained his ears off. “I got a 49, would it kill him to bump up my grade to a passing score? It’s just one point!”

 

“That would be unfair,” said Jack.

 

And then he grimaced. He had been ignoring Yuu’s constant presence at his side, in hopes that he would take a hint. But now that Jack had proven he could hear him…

 

Yuu’s eyes lit up at the acknowledgment.

 

And then he continued in his tirade against Professor Trein with new vigor: “You don’t get it! This could have been my last straw, y’know! I could have Overblotted! And then what, huh –?!”

 

“... that’s impossible,” Jack said, somewhat resigned to the fact that he was going to be eating dinner with Yuu yet again. Where were those two Heartslabyul kids when Jack needed them to drag Yuu away?

 

“I’m going to find a way to Overblot,” Yuu said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Just to spite the guy.”

 

“If I Overblot, you might, too,” Grim offered.

 

Yuu seemed to seriously consider it, if his long silence meant anything. And then he shook his head, absently lifting his hand to pet Grim behind the ears. Grim took the chance to rub aggressively against the human’s fingers – whether he was trying to scent the human or just had an itch was unclear.

 

“No, no. I appreciate the offer, but I don’t want you Overblotting. You’d be too powerful.”

 

Grim puffed his chest out pridefully. Unaware that his human was lying to his face.

 

(To be fair, Yuu was really good at lying. He had no tells whatsoever. Jack only knew it was a lie due to this thing he had called common sense. Which Grim lacked, unfortunately.)

 

Yuu seemed to be lost in thought. He nearly ran into someone, and Jack was forced to grab him by the arm and yank him out of harm’s way.

 

Yuu didn’t seem to notice that Jack had just done him a solid.

 

“Maybe I’ll make Ace Overblot for me. He deserves to be humbled,” said Yuu, after a solid minute.

 

“Wouldn't work. He’s not your familiar,” Grim said.

 

“He could be,” said Yuu.

 

“He’s not an animal,” said Grim, sulking at the very prospect.

 

(They took a seat at an empty cafeteria table, and Yuu finally gave Grim his plate. The monster immediately brightened back up.)

 

Yuu hummed. “I’ll have to make him into an animal with – I dunno – a potion or something, bond with him, and then make him Overblot.”

 

“Or you could just study. Might be easier,” Jack said.

 

“No.”

 

“You can’t just –,” Jack started, only to cut himself off with a sigh. This wasn’t worth arguing. He was… 80% sure Yuu was joking. He should just let this go. He shouldn’t encourage Yuu’s apparent love of bantering with people, if he didn’t want Yuu to be his friend.

 

And, besides, the conversation took a rapid turn for the even worse:

 

“Oh, Ace! We were just talking about you!” said Yuu, and Jack’s eyes flicked over just in time to watch Ace Trappola faceplant into Yuu’s chest and proceed to cling to a mildly confused Yuu.

 

Yuu looked at Jack.

 

Jack shrugged.

 

Yuu, slowly, hugged Ace back, one of his hands carding through his hair. “I was just joking, y’know… you’re not allowed to Overblot…”

 

“Ugh. What’re you talking about? No – just – gimme your shirt,” Ace groaned. “‘M going into heat. I need it.”

 

Jack’s face went warm.

 

Were they really talking about this in public?!

 

Well, considering Yuu’s… style, he supposed it wasn’t insane to think that their relationship was open, so to speak… but, still, Jack hadn’t consented to any of this!

 

He looked at the soup on his plate, wishing he could be soup himself. It must be nice not to have ears or thoughts or the ability to process what was going on not even a meter away from him.

 

“What?” Yuu said. And then he scowled. “No.”

 

Holy – that was such a harsh rejection. And, again, in public? Jack had never been this embarrassed on someone else’s behalf before.

 

He shoveled soup into his mouth. His mom had once told him that if he ate too much of something, he might just become it. He was hoping for a miracle here.

 

“Ugh, Yuu, come on,” Ace said, nearly whining, his fingers tangling in Yuu’s shirt like he was half considering yanking it over Yuu’s head and making a break for it.

 

Considering he was, apparently, near heat, Jack doubted he would get far.

 

Still, he frowned.

 

Ah, damn, he was going to have to get involved, didn’t he?

 

“... you shouldn’t pressure him.”

 

Ace’s eyes flicked to Jack. “Stay out of it.”

 

“I can’t do that. You shouldn’t pressure him.”

 

Ace rolled his eyes, muttering about ‘hating people like him’ under his breath. Jack bristled, because he had heard every word. And, he suspected, he was supposed to.

 

Yuu, who didn’t have inhuman hearing, looked between Jack and Ace, visibly confused by the sudden hostility in the air. He must be very confused, if it was actually visible, for once.

 

And then Yuu sighed. “I’m missing something, aren’t I?”

 

Ace nodded, sulkily.

 

“And the something is…?”

 

“Don’t make me say it, 's embarrassing…”

 

“Embarrassing?” Yuu said, incredulously. “You’re in my lap right now, the hell do you mean embarrassing? We’re so past that.”

 

“I just need it, okay?”

 

“I only have, like, four of these! And one of them went missing! What happened to your own shirts? I know you have, like, a million of them.”

 

“I’ll buy you another one,” Ace said.

 

Yuu’s eyebrows knit. “I – what – why do you need mine, then?”

 

Jack was… also kinda confused. Yuu’s only problem with giving away his shirt was that he didn’t have that many? Jack supposed that that made sense, kinda… he wouldn’t do the same, in Yuu’s position, but it wasn’t his relationship, so…

 

“Can’t you just take him to your nest with you?” Jack asked. “It’ll be the same… right…?”

 

He trailed off. Ace’s scent, briefly, twisted.

 

Victory, it seemed to croon.

 

Yuu didn’t seem to take much notice. His nose scrunched, briefly, but he didn’t seem to process what it meant. “No. I don’t want to deal with a per – heat. Those things are gross.”

 

Jack’s eyebrows furrowed, briefly distracted from whatever was going on with Ace’s scent. “They're… gross?”

 

Ace pulled back just enough to look Yuu in the eyes.

 

“Yuu, what do you think a heat is?” he asked.

 

Yuu explained.

 

Jack and Ace looked at each other. Should they tell Yuu that someone had been lying to him for his entire life and he had, in fact, actually witnessed someone’s death? Should they let him live in blissful ignorance?

 

“That… it’s not…” Ace said, slowly. “It’s not like that. I just get kinda whiny and clingy for a few days… what the fuck…”

 

Yuu squinted. “Promise?”

 

“Yes. Oh my Sevens.”

 

Yuu hesitated. And then he ran his fingers through his hair. “These things take a week, right? Can Jack drop by so we can work on our group project, ‘cause that’s due –?”

 

Ace and Jack blanched. “No,” they both said, in unison.

 

It was funny. Jack didn’t think they had ever agreed on anything before.

 

Yuu frowned. “Well… okay… guess I can do it over the phone…”

 

How can one guy survive this long without knowing etiquette and social norms? What’s next – the swooping necklines were an accident? Was it even ethical for Ace and Deuce to be dating someone so obviously inexperienced?

 

Oh no.

 

Jack was going to have to get really involved.

 

This was terrible.

 

Jack, slowly, lifted a hand to ruffle Yuu’s hair, trying to subtly rub just a little bit of his scent onto him. He couldn’t really argue with the guy going into Ace’s nest, since he was the one who had suggested it, but he could at least make Yuu a little less appealing…

 

Ace glowered at Jack over Yuu’s shoulder.

 

His expression brightened right back up the moment Yuu looked up from where he was writing his number in the back of one of Jack’s notebooks.

 

Ace's scent still had several sharper notes. It didn’t even seem like he was trying to hide it.

 

And yet, it didn’t seem like Yuu noticed it, his expression perfectly content as he gave Jack his notebook back.

 

“Are you from another world or something?” Jack asked, giving a nervous little laugh as he tried to buy himself some time to think of a delicate way to broach the subject. Especially considering Ace was right there, and might try to sabotage him…

 

“Oh shit, how’d you know?” said Yuu.

 

Jack looked at Yuu.

 

Yuu looked serious. Yuu always looked serious. This meant nothing.

 

… Jack decided Yuu was fucking with him.

 

“Grim, you should leave him a chicken wing, at least,” Ace sighed.

 

Yuu jolted. He looked at Grim, his mouth hanging open in sheer betrayal. It must have been a joke, because Grim didn’t seem the least bit repentant.

 

“I have a shit ton of snacks in my room,” Ace offered.

 

Oh, that son of a – .

 

“Sure,” said Yuu.

 

Sevens damnit, thought Jack.

 

“Sweet. Carry me there?” Ace said, clinging tighter to Yuu, batting his eyelashes jokingly.

 

Yuu sighed. He shifted Ace into a princess carry, seemingly intent on embarrassing Ace in retaliation for making him carry him. Ace remained smug despite his efforts.

 

“You’re more of a hassle than Grim sometimes...”

 

Grim frowned.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Grim, you’re cute enough for it to be endearing,” Yuu promised.

 

Grim still seemed to be mildly upset.

 

Yuu leaned down and pressed a kiss to the monster’s forehead. “I’ll buy you some tuna. We’re heading to the store, anyway, so I can pick up some chocolate for Ace.”

 

Grim seemed to brighten up.

 

Ace, on the other hand, raised his eyebrows. “What’s with you and giving me chocolate?”

 

“... do you not want it?”

 

“No. I do.”

 

“Why’re you complaining then?”

 

Their voices trailed off into the distance.

 

Jack sighed, resting his face in his hands with a deep groan.

 

His siblings were going to be insufferable when they found out he had a 'friend'.

Notes:

I have no idea whether the first years are entirely platonic. But it's way funnier if they are IMO. Instead of fighting for a cringefail bf they are fighting to have the most socially inept person ever as their BFF. That's THEIR freak of a best friend, how dare you try to steal him. They're the only one who would treat him right. They are losing to a cat.

Chapter 10: Deuce - Oh, how the turntables

Deuce sighed as he neared his dorm room. It was weird, going to class without his friends. He toyed with his backpack straps, a little nervous. He hoped his notes were detailed enough to get them through their history quiz next week, because otherwise they were screwed.

 

He, absently, tugged his face mask up over his mouth and nose, grimacing just slightly as the world seemed to dim. But he was pretty sure that Yuu would have a mental breakdown if he had to deal with a friend in rut and a friend in heat at the same time.

 

And he really didn’t want to go into rut, besides. It was icky.

 

So, he made sure that his mask was securely in place before stepping inside.

 

He found Ace and Yuu in Ace’s nest. Ace had, from the looks of things, thrown himself across Yuu’s lap and fallen asleep that way. Ace seemed relatively content — as content as a person in heat could be, at least.

 

Yuu, on the other hand, seemed slightly uncomfortable.

 

“Can you take him? I really need to pee,” Yuu said.

 

Ah, yeah, that explains that.

 

Deuce relieved Yuu of his omega-sitting duties by lifting Ace off of his lap. Ace made a vague sound of protest at being moved, but made no moves to rectify this ‘wrong’. He hung from his arms, completely boneless.

 

Grim immediately took the spot Ace had just unwillingly vacated.

 

Yuu looked like he might cry.

 

“Grim, c’mon.”

 

Grim sniffed. “I was nice all day, I deserve this.”

 

“C’mon, baby, just a few minutes?”

 

Grim squinted at Yuu. Before huffing and crawling off of his lap. “Fine. If I gotta. But you owe me a can of fancy tuna.”

 

Yuu snickered, rubbing the top of the monster’s head and shooting Deuce a smile. “I’m gonna take a quick bath, too. Ace is all hot — warm! He’s all warm, and it’s making me sweaty.”

 

Deuce grinned. “Well, yeah, that’s why it’s called a ‘heat’.”

 

“I don’t appreciate the sass,” Yuu said, lightly bumping his shoulder against Deuce’s as he passed him on the way to the bathroom.

 

He paused in the doorway.

 

“I’m gonna borrow some clothes, is that fine? I didn’t get much warning about this... I’ll stop by Ramshackle later and prep myself an overnight bag. I’ll wash everything I use after, so…?”

 

Deuce’s tongue felt huge in his mouth, it was hard to get a word out around it.

 

“Sure,” Ace said, the word barely above a grunt. He made a vague motion toward his closet. So nonchalant, the liar.

 

Yuu flashed a thumbs up and then disappeared into the bathroom.

 

Deuce fought the urge to cry. Could’ve had Yuu in his clothes…

 

Ace looked smug, too, the bastard.

 

And then Ace batted his eyelashes, going limp in Deuce’s arms again.

 

Bastard, Deuce thought, again, with even more feeling.

 

Yet there he was, carefully arranging Ace in bed again, giving him a pillow to hug to his chest in Yuu’s place. From the pout on Ace’s face, it wasn’t helping all that much. The temptation to let him suffer for his crimes and the intrinsic need to Help Him!!! played a game of tug-of-war in his mind.

 

The instinct side won. Damn it.

 

Deuce sighed and set his hand on top of Ace’s head. And then smiled a little when Ace leaned into the touch.

 

“You should probably eat.”

 

Ace’s expression immediately soured. “Don’t wanna.”

 

Oh, hey, look at that, both sides got their own, tiny wins. Hell yeah.

 

“Don’t care,” Deuce retorted, pulling out his phone. “What do you want from the Lounge? I’ll go get it.”

 

Ace frowned.

 

“… when Yuu is back, obviously,” Deuce said, rolling his eyes. “I’m not enough of a dick to leave you alone, chill.”

 

“What, he can’t be alone for even a few minutes?” Yuu said, somewhere between amused and annoyed, throwing open Ace’s wardrobe and picking through the clothes for something to wear. “He’s a big boy, isn’t he?”

 

“It’s instincts, what can you do?” Deuce shrugged, briefly taking his hand off of Ace’s head so he could look up the Mostro Lounge’s menu. Ace made a vague sound of protest and yanked the hand back toward himself.

 

“He really wasn’t lying about the clingyness,” Yuu said, snickering. And then his expression dropped. “Is this my shirt?”

 

“… no?” said Ace.

 

Yuu’s lips pressed into a thin line. He pulled out a shirt. The one Ace had stolen during the potion incident. There was still a damning pink stain on the front of it.

 

“This isn’t mine?” Yuu asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“No,” said Ace. “‘s mine.”

 

Deuce had to give him points for confidence. Deuce wasn’t sure he would have been quite so sure that Yuu wouldn’t strangle him with the offending shirt, if he were in Ace’s position.

 

Yuu pinched the bridge of his nose, his face flushing. “Alright. I — Ace, you can’t just — you know that you’re not my boyfriend, right?”

 

Ace and Deuce paused.

 

Deuce understood being mad. Sharing clothes is sacred, after all, reserved for the people you care about the most. Ace had, by simply stealing it, refused Yuu agency in his own relationships.

 

But that didn’t explain why Yuu was acting like Ace had professed his love or something.

 

“What?” said Ace.

 

Yuu sighed. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re fun to hang out with and all, but you’re moving wayyyy too fast. Stealing my clothes, clinging to me all the time, asking me to help you with your per — heat. This is… a lot.”

 

Ace and Deuce looked at each other.

 

It certainly could be seen as romantic behavior, but none of that was necessarily romantic, so it felt a little presumptuous of Yuu to say that…

 

“That’s… not romantic… not here, anyway,” Ace said.

 

Yuu blinked. Looked at Deuce.

 

“Unless you think my mom is coming onto me, it’s definitely not,” said Deuce.

 

“… oh,” said Yuu, his face going from faint pink to bright red. “I’m… gonna go take a bath now. Need to stew in my embarrassment. Literally. Haha?”

 

Yuu, for lack of a better word, fled.

 

“So this is what it’s like on the other side!” Deuce said, stars in his eyes. “It’s so nice not being the one who’s embarrassed for once…”

 

Later that night, Yuu headed off toward Ramshackle to grab his things, and Ace ate what Deuce had scavenged from the Mostro Lounge (read: the entrees that Deuce had semi-reluctantly paid for out of pocket)...

 

Deuce leaned back in his bed. He couldn’t really take off his mask to eat, so he needed to wait for Yuu to come back and take the next shift.

 

But the fact that he wasn’t currently eating wasn’t enough to dissuade him from trying to get some mealtime gossiping in:

 

“So do you like Yuu?” Deuce asked.

 

Ace nearly choked on a bite of salmon. He gave Deuce a wide-eyed look.

 

“What?!”

 

“I won’t tell him if you do — bro code ‘n all that — but do you?”

 

“Oh my fucking Seven,” Ace hissed, grabbing the nearest pillow and throwing it at Deuce. It hit the floor between their beds lamely. Even worse, Ace eyed the chunk he had just torn out of his nest, immediately regretting the decision to cast it aside.

 

“Dude… this is so sad…” Deuce said.

 

“Fuck off.”

Chapter 11: Jade - A conundrum

Notes:

Everyone give it up for manic productivityyyyyy🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Jade laid in wait, trying to find the perfect time, perfect method to strike.

 

Azul trusted Jade to find the best way to convince the first years to make deals with him, and Jade took his job very seriously.

 

Besides, he was an ambush predator. He didn’t go into things if he didn’t think he would win.

 

His current mark – Yuu (school records stated that he had no last name, perhaps it was stolen by the fae) – was, as always, chatting with his partners. They were sitting in the grass, having a picnic of sorts, talking about their plans for the weekend. Apparently, they wanted to visit the town at the bottom of the hill.

 

Sometimes, it was best to get people while they were in groups. Humans who were especially susceptible to peer pressure would look to their friends to see what they were doing. It was high risk, high reward, the results were entirely dependent on the friends they kept.

 

Ace Trappola insisted that they should try to get into a club. Yuu was quick to join in, nodding along. Jack Howl and Deuce Spade were both vehemently against this. The way Deuce was against it felt more performative than the way Jack was.

 

Target Deuce Spade while he is alone, Jade scribbled in the corner of Deuce’s file.

 

Yuu’s familiar asked why Ace wanted to join another club, pointing out that Ace was already in the basketball club. Ace promptly lost his only ally. Much to his dismay.

 

Perhaps when Ace and Yuu were alone? But how would he get the two of them alone? Yuu was almost always followed by at least two of his friends, and oftentimes his familiar, too (who he, apparently, made efforts to be a good role model for)...

 

It took around a week for him to find Ace and Yuu alone, and it wasn’t even on purpose. He had just wanted to see how his brother was doing in the basketball club. But there the two of them were, chatting on the sidelines during a water break. Yuu’s familiar, Grim, was stuck taking remedial Alchemy lessons with Deuce Spade, and Jack Howl must have better things to do than watch Ace miss all of his freethrows.

 

Jade stood. Rook immediately took up the space that he had just freed.

 

Absently, Jade wondered who Rook Hunt was watching – Jade? His twin brother? The third-year beastman who was the captain of the basketball team?

 

Only for him to soon realize, very abruptly, that Rook Hunt was, quite possibly, watching Yuu.

 

You see, Jade had a lot of experience with scents that might be perceived as ‘strange’ by the average human. Secondary sexes among mermen were more of an… option. It wasn’t set in stone like it was for land dwellers.

 

Azul had been insistent on presenting as an alpha since the very first day he had presented. Floyd tended to switch to whichever sex he preferred at that exact second, and was especially prone to switching when bored. Jade was typically a beta, but he was happy to swap to be an alpha or omega when he thought it would benefit him more.

 

He had assumed that those were the only other ‘extra’ sexes one could find.

 

He had never before seen a person who, seemingly, had no scent at all.

 

Even betas had a faint floral scent. It was often overpowered by their peers’, but it was still there.

 

He stopped cold beside the two freshmen.

 

Who looked over.

 

Yuu’s content little grin flickered to something else, but was gone before Jade had even processed that something had changed, replaced by a vaguely confused look.

 

And then he said, “Um? What’s wrong with your face?”

 

Jade stared right back at him, a little thrown by the combination of the strange question and even stranger non-scent.

 

Ace groaned, cuffing Yuu over the head. “You can’t just ask that!”

 

“He looks so uncanny,” Yuu attempted to defend himself.

 

“You look uncanny, too!”

 

Yuu scowled. “No, I don’t, you’re just mean.”

 

“That’s not –!” Ace started, only to stop. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just. Apologize. Fucking hell…”

 

“I apologize, senpai,” Yuu grumbled, sounding like he wasn’t at all sorry.

 

Jade smiled politely. “I would be willing to answer your question, should you answer one for me.”

 

Yuu narrowed his eyes, briefly, and then leaned close to Ace. He whispered something in his ear that Jade couldn’t quite catch, earning a nod.

 

And then Yuu gave Jade a short bow. “Sorry, senpai, I’d rather not.”

 

Jade blinked a few times. “Hm?”

 

Yuu proceeded to hook his arm through Ace's and drag him away from Jade as quickly as he could.

 

Jade grabbed him by the arm before he could escape. “Do you dislike me because of my appearance?” he asked.

 

“No,” said Yuu. “I think you’re… kinda shady, not gonna lie.”

 

Jade let go of him, allowing the two to disappear into the omega bathroom. He could follow after them, technically, he was currently presenting as a beta, which were allowed to choose whichever bathroom they wanted (hence why Yuu was allowed in that bathroom in the first place)... but he didn’t think following after them would help things.

 

Yuu distrusted him? Why? He was a beta, he had kept his scent neutral. Yuu should have paid him no mind. Ace hadn’t. So why had he?

 

He was – nonscentsical!

 

“Did you just get rejected?” Floyd asked, snickering. He was an alpha, for now, apparently.

 

Jade scratched his head. “I… believe so.”

 

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT A MER – ?!” Ace’s voice screeched from the bathroom, followed by a loud thud and even more yelling, their voices overlapping incomprehensibly.

 

Floyd immediately shifted into an omega so he could peek into whatever was happening in the bathroom.

 

Jade followed after him, in a bit of a trance.

 

They poked their heads in and found the two boys wrestling on the floor. The yells had devolved into cursing at each other.

 

Strange foreplay practices, Jade thought, absently. Though everything about Yuu was strange.

 

He needed to reassess everything he knew about Yuu.

 

For the sake of securing a new contractee for Azul, of course.

 

During gym class, Jade confirmed that Yuu didn’t have a scent at all. He had been working out a lot. Vargas had a special training regimen for him (Yuu couldn’t fly, after all), and yet the only scent that could be found was that of sweat. And, considering Yuu never bothered to cover his scent glands, not even the ones considered more intimate, Jade knew there was no way he was simply repressing it.

 

And, once class was over, he noted that Yuu opted to change in the alpha bathroom. He hid in a stall the entire time. Was there a visible, anatomical difference that he was hiding? It wasn’t like the guy could be shy…

 

He found Yuu alone (as in, only his familiar was with him) a few days later, lingering in the library, reading a book about mermen.

 

He rounded a bookshelf, leaning his hand on a table lazily. “You could simply ask, if you’re so curious.”

 

“I could say the same to you,” Yuu said, not even looking up. “You’re not going to figure it out by stalking me from a distance.”

 

Jade went quiet.

 

Grim, on the other hand, exploded. Flames went soaring at Jade’s face. He flicked them away, of course, because he wasn’t intent on drying up anytime soon. Grim growled at him.

 

“Why are you stalking my henchman?!”

 

“He’s just confused, Grim,” Yuu said, smoothing a hand over his familiar’s fur. “Not everyone is lucky enough to have a psychic link with me, they don’t get all of their questions answered immediately.”

 

Grim turned to look at Yuu, frowning. “You’re too calm about everything!”

 

“It’s either that or a breakdown,” Yuu shrugged.

 

This didn’t seem to soothe Grim’s worries in the slightest.

 

“Why do you think I’m ‘shady’?” Jade cut in.

 

Yuu glanced at Jade, mildly surprised by the question.

 

“People here only really bother to hide their ‘scent’. What you’re thinking is always written all over your faces.” He tilted his head to the side. “I should take up gambling.”

 

The Mostro Lounge offered many gambling addicts access to their 'passion', but Jade opted not to say this. Yuu was right – he would do too well, there. Azul was a pain to deal with when he lost money.

 

Besides, Jade was far more interested in figuring out whether Yuu could process others’ scents. It didn't seem like he could. Or, at least, he didn’t pay it much mind.

 

“‘People here’?” Jade repeated.

 

Yuu hummed the affirmative.

 

“Where I’m from, there are no alphas, betas, or omegas,” Yuu said.

 

And then he – they? – set their book down on the table, gathered Grim into their arms, and left.

 

Jade followed, hot on their heels, pestering for information that they didn’t seem intent on giving him.

Chapter 12: Deuce - Testy

Notes:

posting this right before church soz if there's any mistakes <3<3<3

Now, if you were to look upon the first years, you might assume they were having a peaceful weekend getaway. They were sitting in a small clearing in the woods. There was a creek nearby, water trickling over the rocks. Sunlight poked through the canopy above their heads, dappling their faces in strange patterns. The picnic blanket beneath them was thin, but soft. Half-eaten snacks were scattered around them in picturesque little clusters.

 

Deuce and Ace leaned against each other, mumbling under their breath, trying to commit the strange words to memory.

 

Jack, lying on his stomach, lazily kicked his feet back and forth, swaying with some tuneless song he was humming as he flipped through their assigned reading.

 

One of Yuu’s hands was lost in the fluff of Grim’s stomach as he went over his notes with a highlighter, in search of the important parts of the important parts.

 

“I’m going to kill myself. Then they’ll all be sorry,” said Ace.

 

Everyone gave vague grunts of agreement.

 

Ah, midterms. The bane of every teenager’s existence.

 

It was doubly life-ruining for the students of the prestigious Night Raven College. Where other people their age were only expected to get 50s on far easier tests, they needed to get 70s and above, lest their Winter Breaks die before they had even breathed their first breath.

 

Deuce choked back another energy drink can. His stomach roiled in protest. It would thank him later, when it got to enjoy his mother’s cooking in just a few very long weeks – or any cooking at all, really, Deuce had heard rumors that the Headmaster didn’t bother to stock the cafeteria over the holidays.

 

“What we need,” Jack said, “is a reward. Something to motivate us.”

 

“Yeah, see, I told myself I wouldn’t eat a cookie until I finished this chapter, but…” Yuu said, popping his third cookie into his mouth. “I know that bitch’s weaknesses. He’ll cave every time.”

 

Jack ran his fingers through his hair, sighing. “Yeah, that’s why the person doling out rewards has to be me… what if, if we all pass… we go into town and buy a keg?”

 

Yuu, Ace, and Deuce all perked up.

 

“I thought you didn’t want to go?” Ace said.

 

“We are not going clubbing,” Jack said.

 

There was a chorus of “aw man”, “come onnnnnn”, and “no fun…”s.

 

“How would we even get in?” Jack asked.

 

“I know someone who can make us fake IDs,” said Deuce.

 

The other three teens stared at him in a strange mix of fascination and horror.

 

Deuce’s eyes flicked to the side. “Everyone’s got a cousin who can hook them up with something.”

 

From the looks on their faces, they did not, in fact, have those kinds of cousins. To be fair, neither did Deuce, so...

 

“... that aside,” said Jack, thankfully. “It… might be fun. However. There’s no way Deuce, Yuu, and Grim will all get 70s, so it doesn’t really matter.”

 

Deuce narrowed his eyes at him. “I know what you’re doing.”

 

“Telling the truth,” Jack said, innocently.

 

Unfortunately, he was right. Deuce looked back down at the textbook in his lap. The letters were swimming on the page, the stupid Latin words dancing around in his mind’s eye. Taunting him with their ineffability.

 

He was going to fail his midterms so bad it wasn’t even funny.

 

At least he wasn’t going to be stuck on campus alone. Yuu had already proclaimed that he was going to fail his exams, and that it was a Choice He Was Making, actually. Grim wouldn’t have to take the written portion of the exam, on account of the fact that he literally didn’t have opposable thumbs (this, apparently, makes written exams hard for him, for some reason), but he was well on his way to failing his practicals.

 

Which meant the only people in danger of failing were:

1. A person from another world who had to catch up on approximately 12 years of school
2. A monster that couldn’t read or write and has only recently been introduced into society
3. Deuce

 

One could argue that this is a somewhat pathetic lineup to be a part of. And Deuce would say…

 

Shut up. Let him have this. Misery loves company, Deuce was going to take a win wherever he could get it.

 

Yuu groaned and flopped back against the blanket. It wasn’t nearly enough to shield his poor spine from the uneven ground and gnarled roots, but Yuu seemed determined to ignore his own discomfort. No, there were far more important things than complaining about his definitely-aching back:

 

Complaining about something else.

 

“This is bullshit. I should get a special exemption.”

 

Grim shoved a cracker with jam on it in front of Yuu’s face. “Hechman, try this, it’s really good.”

 

Yuu sighed, but opened his mouth, allowing the monster to drop the snack onto his tongue. The food was tasty. Deuce figured that their little picnic was the only thing keeping them somewhat sane.

 

“Are there exemptions for autism?” Jack asked.

 

There was a beat of silence.

 

“... you think I’m autistic?” Yuu asked, not quite offended, just kind of bemused.

 

Jack stared at him, incredulous. The incredulity shifted, quickly, into awkwardness as he realized that he had to explain himself. He began to count off on his fingers. “You don’t know basic social cues, and you have a very flat affect.”

 

“I’m easy to read, you’re all just stupid,” Yuu sniffed. Grim nodded his agreement, as if he didn’t have an extremely unfair advantage in this.

 

“I’m not saying you’re hard to read… when people get to know you… but you definitely aren’t giving off all the signals everyone else does,” Jack said, as delicate as he could be with a voice as gruff as his.

 

Yuu pressed his lips into a thin line. “That’s… okay, sure. But I can read all of you just fine.”

 

“You didn’t seem to notice when Ruggie-senpai and Leona-senpai were telling you to back down.”

 

“When did they do that?” Yuu asked, his eyebrows knitting.

 

“Exactly.”

 

Yuu opened and closed his mouth a few times, before rolling his eyes. “Okay, fine. What if I tell you there’s a perfectly reasonable – a sorta reasonable explanation for that?”

 

“Okay, but I know that explanation, and it doesn’t explain your weird hatred of things touching your neck,” Ace said, just to mess with him.

 

“It’s icky,” Yuu said. Sagely. As if that two-word sentence alone had solved all of the world’s mysteries.

 

Jack gave a little sigh, before waving for Yuu to continue. “So, what’s your ‘explanation’?”

 

“IIIIIIII… don’t have scent glands. Was born without – ah – anything you’d recognize, really,” said Yuu, his smile taking on a nervous edge.

 

“What?” said Jack.

 

“Huh?” said Deuce.

 

Yuu scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah. No one can detect my emotions, and I can’t really… interpret you guys’ scents, either. I can barely tell the difference between you and Deuce, but Ace says you’re way different.”

 

“... oh,” said Jack, the pieces finally clicking together for him.

 

Deuce, however, was only more confused by the explanation. Yuu hadn’t once mentioned his world this time.

 

He watched as Yuu handed over his arm so Jack could inspect his scent glands (or, rather, his lack thereof), joking about how it must feel to be in the presence of a genetic anomaly.

 

… well, Deuce supposed that it was easier to explain. And it wasn’t like it wasn’t slightly – flattering – being one of the few who was actually in the know.

 

“Yeah, I’m not sure you can get an exemption for this,” said Jack.

 

Yuu pouted. “Who’s gonna know? I could just lie. Who’s really gonna care?”

 

“The government,” said Ace, grinning.

 

“No one,” Yuu continued, as if he hadn’t heard him.

 

“The headmaster,” said Jack.

 

“Ooooh, scary,” said Yuu, sarcastically. “What’s he gonna do? Give me even more work?”

 

“He could report you to the government,” said Jack.

 

Yuu’s nose scrunched in distaste. “You’re making lying about a disability sound really unappealing right now, Jack.”

 

“Good.”

 

Yuu huffed, scooting over to Deuce and flinging himself across his lap dramatically. “Deuce is my favorite, now. He never questions me.”

 

Deuce grinned. He had won by doing nothing. Life is good.

 

“Well, it’s a good thing you like each other, since you’ll be spending your break together,” Ace said. Apparently, he had decided that if he had to be annoyed by the way things were going, so did everyone else.

 

It was working. Deuce grimaced at the reminder.

 

“I’d probably be staying on campus either way, so... if anything, Deuce failing is a win for me,” Yuu said.

 

“... you’re staying on campus?” said Jack.

 

Yuu shrugged. “Doubt I’m going home.”

 

Ace, Deuce, and Jack all looked at each other.

 

It was one thing for Yuu to stay on campus over the break when it was assumed he would spend it with his own family (Deuce supposed he should have known that that was impossible, but it just wasn’t something he had put much thought to), but Yuu’s break was free. Which meant he could come home with one of them.

 

If he passed.

 

Jack leaned over Yuu’s notebook, squinting at the words there. “What do you need help with?”

 

“Everything,” Yuu said, throwing an arm over his eyes.

 

It would be an uphill battle…

 

Or, perhaps, not.

 

A few days later, a person stepped out from behind a pillar, and Deuce swerved to avoid them, sending a glare back their way –.

 

Only to frown, confused, as they fell into step beside him.

 

“You’re… Deuce Spade, yes?” the person said.

 

Deuce blinked, glancing the stranger up and down. Despite their height, they were a beta… though their scent was slightly strange in a way he couldn’t quite place.

 

He didn’t recognize them, that was for sure.

 

“Yeeeees? Do you need me for something?” he said, slowly.

 

“I heard you and your friends are struggling, grades-wise. What if I told you that one of my friends put together a perfect study guide for this year's test? If you use it properly, you should be able to get at least a 90…”

Notes:

Sometimes I wonder if my teenage years were, perhaps, abnormal. And then I'm like. No, everyone else has fought someone in a cemetery, scaled a school building, tried to sneak into clubs, etcetc. My experiences are universal

Oh. And there's something important today... some kinda holiday... happy 4/20 to all those who celebrate 😌

Chapter 13: Azul - Dealing with Yuu, in every sense of the word

Azul had never been so inexplicably, unjustifiably nervous in his entire life. But, in his defense, he had never met someone that was so hard to read before. Yuu’s expression had yet to waver from its flat stare. Not to mention his scent was practically nonexistent. The faint soapy scent he gave off certainly didn’t react to anything that was going on.

 

“You want my house,” Yuu said.

 

Not incredulous, not horrified, not angry. At most, he just seemed tired.

 

“Yes,” said Azul, careful not to phrase it as a question.

 

Yuu continued to stare at him.

 

Azul felt the strange, unfamiliar urge to justify his reasoning.

 

“I believe that is sufficient as collateral. You are asking me to give up quite a lot of assets, here.”

 

Yuu, slowly, deliberately, raised an eyebrow at him. Disappointment radiated off of him in waves.

 

Jack was caught in the crossfire. His ears and tail seemed to droop a little. “You can stay at Savanaclaw. Doubt Leona’ll mind.”

 

Yuu sent him a tiny smile. “Thanks.”

 

Jack brightened up.

 

Azul fought the urge to roll his eyes, quietly tamping down on the annoyance and disgust that threatened to spill out into the world.

 

From the way Jack narrowed his eyes at him, he must have failed.

 

Yuu leaned back in his chair. If he had noticed Azul’s little slip-up, he certainly didn't care.

 

“You’re joking, right? My house,” Yuu said.

 

“I’m not joking,” said Azul, glancing to the side, where Jade was watching them talk with way too much interest. “There is quite a lot at stake here, as I’m sure you are aware.”

 

Jade called for his brother, who was happy to drag in three very upset anemones.

 

Yuu’s other eyebrow started to raise, joining its brother in utter incredulity.

 

“Let go of Grim or I’m going to build a bomb,” Yuu said, his tone still weirdly calm.

 

Floyd considered this. “Do you even know how to build one?”

 

“I refuse to answer that in front of this many witnesses,” Yuu said.

 

Floyd let go of Grim.

 

Grim plopped himself down in Yuu’s lap. His eyes narrowed at Azul, a low growl reverberating from his chest. Very confident coming from a monster that Azul literally owned and had full control over. Azul could appreciate the monster’s stupidity, if nothing else.

 

Yuu sighed. “Fine. What do you want me to do for you?”

 

“I would like you to steal a certain photograph from the Atlantica Memorial Museum in the Coral Sea before the sun sets three days from now.”

 

Yuu raised an eyebrow. “I can’t breathe underwater.”

 

Azul paused. He had thought there would be more of an objection to the theft thing.

 

“You want us to steal a piece of art?!” Jack asked.

 

Thank you, Jack.

 

“No, not a piece of art. A photo. One commemorating a visit to the museum from Prince Riellé, taken ten years ago. It has no historic value whatsoever. If you succeed in taking it, few will notice, and even fewer will care.”

 

Jack seemed relieved.

 

Yuu didn’t seem to mind either way.

 

(Azul supposed he should have expected that the guy who had just threatened to build a bomb wouldn’t be particularly against petty theft.)

 

Grim narrowed his eyes. “Then why do you want it?”

 

“Unimportant,” said Azul, waving him off. “Are you willing to do it?”

 

“I can’t breathe underwater,” Yuu said, again.

 

“Fear not. I will provide you with a few water-breathing potions.”

 

“... potions?” said Yuu.

 

For the first time, an actual emotion pushed its way to the forefront of Yuu’s otherwise impassive face: wariness.

 

“Can you guarantee this will have no side effects?”

 

“Of course, I tested it myself.”

 

“You made and tested this yourself?” Yuu said, his eyebrows knitting in concern. “It’s not even, like, FDA approved?”

 

“What’s an FDA?” Azul asked.

 

Yuu looked slightly green around the gills. “Write in the contract that this will have no - uh, contract-y words... - no adverse effects on me.”

 

Azul sighed, trying not to be too offended. Yuu didn’t know of his reputation, didn’t know of his abilities. But, really, to think he would be so incompetent as to give Yuu a potion that would harm him…

 

“Fine,” he said. With a wave of his hand, a new clause was added to the contract. “What do you want the legal repercussions to be on my end?”

 

“I dunno. Um. Pay my medical bills. Obviously. And… um… free food, I guess?”

 

Azul, reluctantly, added those to the contract. “I should stress that this will not happen.”

 

“Then who cares what we put as the terms?” Yuu said, raising an eyebrow. “If you’re really confident in your potion, then you shouldn’t care about me adding a few safeguards.”

 

“... fine. Anything else?”

 

“Oh, oh, and free me!” said Grim.

 

“That,” Yuu said, nodding along.

 

“And us?” Deuce asked.

 

“No,” said Yuu. “You were stupid, and you deserve to suffer for it.”

 

Ace and Deuce seemed to melt into puddles of absolute sadness and depression.

 

“... fine. Them, too,” Yuu said.

 

“Why not add everyone at this rate?” Floyd asked, amused.

 

Azul would say Whose side are you on, but he knew all too well that Floyd was on whichever side suited him best at any given moment.

 

“Absolutely not, that’s pushing it,” Azul said, scowling.

 

“Yuu…” said Jack, his eyes narrowing.

 

Yuu smiled at him. “Just trying to cover all the bases here, Jack, don’t worry.”

 

“You say that as if you aren’t worried,” Azul said. “Why am I adding all of this to the contract, then?”

 

“Jack’s peace of mind,” Yuu said. “Wouldn’t want my alpha to get all stressed.”

 

Deuce looked offended.

 

Azul didn't want to get involved in their weird situationship-polycule-thing's dynamics. He cleared his throat, loudly, to drag everyone's attention away from whatever that was, towards the golden contract hovering on the table between himself and Yuu.

 

Yuu rested his hands on the desk in front of him. “Alright. Does everyone agree to the terms?”

 

Azul looked at Yuu for a long moment. He felt as if he was missing something crucial here. Jade seemed amused by the whole thing, which could not be good for him.

 

But Yuu’s scent and face were entirely impassive. Not eager, not mischievous, not even anxious anymore. He seemed content, if anything.

 

Azul and Yuu both signed on the dotted line.

 

Yuu popped one of the potion bottles open. Gave it a tentative sniff, and grimaced at whatever he smelled.

 

“I would suggest waiting to drink that until you are in front of the Dark Mirror,” Azul said.

 

Yuu snickered. “Nah, it’s better if I do this in a crowded area.”

 

He flashed a salute Azul’s way.

 

“See you in court, dumbass.”

 

And then, like the world’s dumbest frat bro, Yuu chugged the entire thing.

 

There was a half-second where nothing happened, and Azul saw regret begin to peek across Yuu’s face.

 

And then he hit the floor with a dull thud, out cold.

 

Ace and Deuce sighed in perfect unison, resigned. Jack seemed mildly upset with himself for failing to catch Yuu.

 

None of them were surprised.

 

“... what just happened?” Azul said.

 

Ace crossed his arms over his chest, smug. “You broke your promise.”

 

Azul watched the anemones atop Ace, Deuce, and Grim’s heads crumble into ash.

 

“Guys, can we get my henchman to the hospital, now?”

 

“Shit, right, yeah, let me call Crewel,” said Deuce, pulling out his phone.

 

“Why do you have Ishidai-sensei’s number?” Floyd asked.

 

Deuce shrugged. “Yuu’s weird.”

 

He said that as if that explained everything.

 

“He says he’s in his study,” Deuce reported.

 

“We’re clocking out early,” said Ace. “See ya!”

 

Azul watched on as Jack picked up a still-motionless Yuu (his veins seemed to be glowing bright pink beneath his skin, now, what the fuck), and the group of five ran off, presumably to find Professor Crewel.

 

“What just happened?” said Azul, again.

 

“I think you just lost!” Floyd said, brightly.

 

Azul punched him in the face.

Notes:

This fic is officially my most popular, now. Head in hands.

Chapter 14: Azul - The real reason his hair is white

Yuu, awkwardly, patted Azul on the back a few times. “Um. Cheer up,” he said, with all the tact and grace of a teenager trying to prevent someone from crying in front of them.

 

Azul gave him a flat look.

 

“At — at least you don’t have to take Ramshackle!” Yuu said.

 

Azul frowned. “I wanted Ramshackle. It’s prime real estate.”

 

“What? You wanted —?” Yuu cut himself off, staring at Azul. Beyond incredulous. “You could have just. Asked.”

 

“… WHAT?”

 

“The ghosts tried to kill me, like, last week. You can fucking take it.”

 

Azul and Yuu stared at each other, suddenly aware that Azul’s little… lapse in judgement the day prior could have been avoided with a simple chat. Azul could have had Ramshackle, Yuu could have freed his partners, and Azul’s entire empire wouldn’t have been destroyed in a matter of three days, leading him to have a mental and magical breakdown.

 

Azul didn’t like thinking about this.

 

“… may I have Ramshackle?”

 

“How much money will you give me for it?”

 

“10,000 thaumarks.”

 

“Deal.”

 

It was a hell of a lowball on Azul’s part, but Yuu just seemed happy to get the building off his hands.

 

They shook on it.

 

And then Yuu turned to where his partners were still gleefully exploring the museum.

 

“Hey, guys, I’m moving in with you!”

 

Azul thought that Yuu, probably should have talked this out with his partners before he had agreed to —.

 

“Sweet! You can sleep in my bed,” offered Ace.

 

Okay then.

 

“No, I don’t trust you,” said Deuce.

 

Ace’s mouth dropped open in offense. “You’ve known me all this time and you don’t trust me?!”

 

“I don’t trust you because I know you.”

 

Yuu nodded along sagely.

 

Jack frowned. “Wait, why’re you moving in with them? You already have a place in my dorm.”

 

Oh dear Sevens why?

 

“You should duel for his hand,” Jade said, because he was an enabler, if nothing else.

 

Floyd clapped his hands together. “I’m betting on Uni-chan.”

 

Jack didn’t seem to know how to feel about this.

 

“Are we giving them prep time? Because that changes who I’m betting on,” said Yuu.

 

Why was Yuu placing bets on who would win? He could stop this by simply deciding!

 

“Can I duel for you?” Grim asked.

 

Yuu cooed, rubbing the monster’s head. “No need, you already have me.”

 

“Also, it would not solve the problem,” Azul gritted out.

 

“That too.”

 

Azul fought the urge to scream out of sheer frustration. And then he really did scream when he realized that the three mages were drawing their wands.

 

“NOT IN THE MUSEUM!”

 

“Okay. We’ll take it outside, senpai,” said Deuce, dutifully.

 

Azul’s eye twitched.

 

“So, who’re you betting on, Koebi-chan?” Floyd said as they all followed the impending trainwreck out of the building.

 

“Well. Jack would win in a physical fight. Ace would win with prep time. But since it’s neither of those, I gotta go with Deuce,” said Yuu. “I just got money, I’m not betting on losing whor – horses, y’know?”

 

“What were you about to say?” Jade asked, smiling serenely.

 

“Nothing I’m willing to say in front of my darling familiar,” said Yuu.

 

“Nevermind who you’re betting on, who are you rooting for?” said Azul.

 

Yuu’s lips twitched into a grin. “Choosing takes the fun out of it.”

 

“... are you a psychopath?” Azul asked. That would explain why he had no fluctuations in his scent.

 

“Is it psychopathic to want to see your friends fight over you?”

 

“Yes,” said Jade.

 

Yuu pouted. “I just want to feel loved –.”

 

“‘FRIENDS’?!” said Azul.

Chapter 15: Jamil - NRC's "assassin" is very bad at his job

Jamil may have miscalculated.

 

His plan was working, he was pretty sure.

 

It should not be long before Yuu made an attempt on Kalim’s life.

 

(Yuu had to be an assassin, Jamil had never met someone with so much control over both his scent and facial expressions before. It wasn’t as if Yuu was in the theater club or anything. There was, really, no reason why Yuu should be so… blank. So, he had to be an assassin.)

 

Jamil would, of course, stop him when he tried to kill Kalim, he just needed a ‘reasonable enough explanation’ for Kalim to spiral. Then, he could enact his plans to take over the dorm.

 

But they were three hours into their second meal of the day, and Yuu was set to head back home to his semi-official spot in Heartslabyul dorm any moment, and he was taking his sweet time.

 

Jamil had looked Yuu in the eyes, intent on speeding things along…

 

Only for Yuu to merely blink back at him. Jamil didn’t feel his own consciousness sink its teeth into Yuu’s, didn’t feel the usual flood of anxiety as Yuu’s brain came under his own control, nothing banging its fists against the bars.

 

Instead, Yuu had merely sniffled a little and turned his head away.

 

What.

 

What.

 

It hadn't even felt like Yuu had rejected him, it had felt as if there was no consciousness for him to steal in the first place. He couldn't find anything in there. Was there simply nothing behind Yuu's eyes? And, if so, wouldn't that make it easier to puppet his body around?

 

Jamil was going to have a crisis.

 

“Can I have some more water, senpai?” Yuu asked, apparently unaware that he had just shattered Jamil’s world view.

 

… Jamil got him some more water.

 

And then he stood back to observe the two newcomers.

 

Grim scarfed down food. Yuu seemed content to watch him, only taking a few bites of his own food when he remembered it was there, idly twirling one of his chopsticks around his fingers from time to time.

 

“Your food ’s soooo good, Jamil,” said Grim.

 

“Jamil-senpai,” Yuu corrected, lightly.

 

“My henchman likes it, too,” Grim said.

 

Yuu gave a faint hum that didn’t really confirm or deny it either way.

 

“Don’t mind him, he’s just rude,” Grim said, shaking his head.

 

Yuu gave a quiet huff, reaching out and scratching the monster behind the ear. "Like you're on to talk."

 

"I'm always 'one to talk'," said Grim. "My opinions are very important."

 

Yuu nodded along. "Your running commentary gives me life, yes."

 

Now, Jamil didn’t particularly care about Yuu’s opinions on his cooking. It only really mattered that Kalim was satisfied.

 

However, a thought occurred to him, then.

 

Grim was Yuu’s familiar, right? If Jamil were to control Grim, would that control Yuu, too, by proxy?

 

Jamil looked at Grim, waiting until the monster’s eyes met his, and then silently grabbed control of his body.

 

This time, it worked.

 

It didn’t grab Yuu alongside Grim, sadly, but this was fine. Jamil could adapt.

 

Grim looked over at his henchman. “Can we hurry things up? I'm getting bored...”

 

For the first time, Yuu’s barely-there, contented little smile faded.

 

He looked at Jamil for a solid minute in complete silence.

 

And then he smiled again. This time, it was all teeth. “Jamil-senpai?”

 

“Yes…?”

 

“Word to the wise: never do that again.”

 

“Do what again?” Jamil asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“You know what you did,” Yuu said.

 

Jamil considered this. “If I did it again, what would you do? You’re magicless, are you not?”

 

“You think I need magic to beat your ass?”

 

There was a faint jingling sound, getting ever closer, like a really strange horror game. Jamil and Yuu both turned their heads to find Kalim, holding a slice of cake.

 

“You have to try this one, Yuu,” Kalim said, beaming.

 

Yuu took the plate, his normal smile back in place. “Oh, that’s really kind of you, senpai.”

 

“Kalim,” Jamil sighed, his mind working a mile a minute. “You’re supposed to let me serve the guests.”

 

“Aw, but I wanted you to rest and get some food, too,” Kalim said, his smile dimming. “And it really isn’t that big of a deal, it's not like it's heavy or anything…”

 

Yuu’s eyes flicked between the two of them.

 

Jamil thought – if he went for Yuu’s mascot, surely Yuu would go for his own.

 

And, so, he had grabbed Grim’s consciousness again.

 

Yuu jumped at Jamil, his chopsticks aimed for his eyes.

 

Oh, shit.

Notes:

Yuu: *gets imprisoned for (aggravated) assault*
Yuu: Ohhhhh Ace, Deuce, and Jack are going to be SO pissed...
Yuu: ☝️😌 if I tell them

Chapter 16: Ace - Missing Person Case

Yuu hadn’t texted him in over five hours, and Ace was being very normal about it.

 

Ignore the pacing. That was about something else.

 

For the first hour or two, Ace had been willing to brush it off as Yuu just having fun in Scarabia, or whatever, though the idea had still irritated him for… reasons. Probably because Rosehearts-senpai already thought of Yuu as an honorary Heartslabyul student, and would be pissed if Yuu swapped dorms immediately after agreeing to bunk with Ace and Deuce. Which would leave Ace to deal with his Housewarden’s wrath.

 

But he was close to reaching hour six without contact, and this was getting ridiculous.

 

He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the phone on his nightstand. It refused to light up. Yuu should be awake, it was still around 19:00 back on Sage’s Isle. If anything, Ace should be the one asleep, ignoring Yuu.

 

Unfortunately for Ace, he was jetlagged and couldn’t sleep.

 

His fingers balled in the shirt he had stolen from Yuu.

 

It wasn’t like Yuu was a bad texter. They had texted a lot over the past day. Until they hadn’t.

 

Ace snatched up his phone. Squinted at the previous few messages. Had he teased Yuu too much? He didn’t think so, the conversation had been pretty much normal right up until he’d started getting the silent treatment. They had been chatting about all of the food Yuu was, apparently, being given for free by virtue of acting pitiful in front of their senpais. Maybe Yuu had taken offense to Ace’s joke that he was ‘whoring himself out’? But he hadn’t seemed angry, when it had been said, and, really, it wasn’t like it wasn’t an uncommon joke considering Yuu’s particular style.

 

But, maybe, he should apologize just in case.

 

… no response.

 

Maybe Yuu went to sleep early. Ace could imagine Grim dragging Yuu into the nearest bed and proclaiming that breaks were for sleeping. Yuu always was too indulgent with that damn familiar. He would go along with it.

 

He’d check again in the morning.

 

Ace slept restlessly.

 

Lunchtime rolled around the next day. Ace’s phone remained utterly devoid of text messages.

 

He grabbed his phone and navigated to the But He’s Our Idiot group chat so he could ask if Yuu was answering them…

 

But what if he was? What if Yuu was talking to everyone but him?

 

“You’re putting me on edge,” his older brother complained, ruffling Ace’s hair.

 

Ace didn’t lean into the soothing touch, because he wasn’t a child anymore. He glared at his brother. “Gee, thanks for your concern, Niisan.”

 

“Is it something you want me to be concerned about?”

 

Ace glared at him.

 

His brother raised an eyebrow at him.

 

Ace sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. Not in a sulky way, just because it was more comfortable for him. “My – Yuu isn’t answering me anymore. And he’s a dumbass, so he’s definitely gotten himself into trouble...”

 

“Ahhhhh. I see.”

 

Ace doubted it.

 

“You want to go check on him? Do you need me to cover for you?”

 

Ace gritted his teeth. “No, ‘cause you always ask for way more than you give.”

 

“‘Kay, then this is officially not my problem. Come to me if you change your mind.”

 

Ace hated his brother so much sometimes.

 

“Fine, fine, ‘Nii-sama’, please help me.”

 

“Awesome! Pleasure doing business with you. We can talk about the payment over the summer break.”

 

Well! That was foreboding!

 

But Ace only really had the mental bandwidth to worry about one thing at a time, so fuck it. That was a problem for later.

 

Three days later, he found Jack and Deuce at the docks.

 

Sage’s Isle wasn’t a popular tourist destination, outside of major events like the Magift Tournament and VDC, so they only ever bothered with one ferry. It was a three-day boat ride, round-trip. Which meant people were stuck at the port for three days, most of the time. Hence why the three of them were, apparently, waiting for the exact same boat.

 

Ah, always a great time, to see himself surrounded by Fellow Normal People.

 

They looked at each other.

 

“My brother was being annoying,” said Ace.

 

“Mom kept asking about Yuu, I needed a break,” said Deuce.

 

“I left one of my cacti on campus and I wanted to check on it,” said Jack.

 

They squinted at each other.

 

“... so, he wasn’t replying to any of us, huh?” said Deuce.

 

Ace and Jack both breathed sighs of relief. Yuu was MIA.

 

And then the panic set in once again. Yuu was MIA. And had been for several days. He managed to get into trouble when he was right in front of them. Who knows what could have happened to him by now? Was he even still on campus? What if he died or something?

 

What if he went back to his own world?

 

Yuu wouldn’t do that without telling them, would he?

 

Would he? Would he pretend like everything was normal so his sendoff wouldn’t be sad? The guy hated genuine moments, he avoided them wherever possible (unlike Ace, who dealt with all of his emotions in healthy and mature ways)...

 

His phone buzzed, and Ace was quick to yank it out.

 

Ugh. An unknown caller. Just what he needed right now – to deal with a spam call.

 

He clicked accept and pressed his phone to his ear. “Hello, welcome to Taco Bell, can I take your –.”

 

“Ace! ” said Yuu, his voice bright.

 

Ace dropped the phone.

 

Jack caught it and brought it close to his own ear, and there was a minor scuffle as Ace and Deuce tried to wrestle it back out of his hands. Jack didn’t even need to hold the damn phone, he had better hearing than anyone here!

 

Deuce managed to get the phone by kicking Jack where it hurt. Was this a dirty play? Yes. Did Ace care?

 

Well, he wouldn’t have, if Deuce had given Ace his own damn phone back.

 

“Where have you been?” Deuce asked, and Ace pressed his ear against the other side of the phone while he waited for the answer.

 

“Oh, hi Deuce!”

 

Well. That was an answer, Ace supposed, kinda.  They were words. Not the words he had wanted to hear, though.

 

“... hi,” said Deuce. “Are you going to tell us why you went MIA or…?”

 

“I… can, but you have to promise not to freak out.”

 

“Why would we freak out?” Jack asked.

 

“You’re all hanging out?” Yuu said. “I mean – good – glad you’re all getting along…”

 

“Yuu!” Ace snapped.

 

Yuu went silent, before sighing. “I may or may not have gotten kidnapped. Happens to the best of –.”

 

“YOU WHAT?!”

 

Everyone was staring at them, now. They didn’t care. There were far more pertinent issues.

 

“We left you alone. For two weeks. You didn’t even last one,” Jack gritted out.

 

“It’s not like I asked to get kidnapped!”

 

Ace pressed his lips together thinly. Considering he had (kinda, on a technicality, if you asked for Jack’s opinion, which would be weird, so don’t) kidnapped Yuu a few times himself, he could attest to the fact that it was insanely easy to do.

 

“Since you called, you’re safe now, right?” Deuce asked.

 

“Weeeellllll…”

 

It was then that Ace remembered that the call was from an unknown phone number.

 

“Yuu, whose phone is this?”

 

“Before I answer, I would like to say that Kalim and Viper-senpai took my phone, so I needed to find someone on campus who had your number.”

 

“Yuu,” Jack said.

 

Yuu sighed. Again. As if he was the one suffering, here. “I may or may not have asked Octavinelle for help…”

 

“Yuu. Come on,” Deuce said.

 

“I don’t wanna hear it from you or Ace,” Yuu grumbled.

 

“Then hear it from me,” said Jack. “That was a terrible decision.”

 

“Well, I didn’t expect them to rekidnap me!”

 

“... you’re still kidnapped,” Ace said. The only thing stopping him from doubling over and hiding his face in his hands was that he needed to hear Yuu’s response.

 

“No. I unkidnapped myself,” Yuu said. “And then got kidnapped by someone else. That’s different.”

 

“Not in any way that matters,” Ace said.

 

“Semantics,” Jack said.

 

“The words you use are important, you should choose them more carefully,” Yuu said, stubbornly.

 

You know what? Ace didn’t want to hear any of this anyway. He sunk into his chair, grinding his palms into his eyes, trying to wake himself up from whatever this fucking nightmare was.

 

It didn’t work.

 

Ace was given back his phone.

 

“We are never leaving him alone again,” Jack said.

 

Ace and Deuce nodded their agreement, sullenly.

Notes:

I love Ace. My fav boyfailure

Chapter 17: Jack - Responsible, but outnumbered

Notes:

chapter title inspired by solxamber's choose your own adventure fic. because i read that line and proceeded to laugh for a solid minute

Jack had many regrets.

 

He had promised that, if they all managed to pass their midterms, they’d go into town and buy a keg. He hadn’t expected them to pass. And, even if they had, he didn’t think they’d remember.

 

This was just like having younger siblings. You lie and promise to get them ice cream once they do this One Thing, expecting their underdeveloped brain to do all of the work for you… only to realize that, once the kid hits four years old, they are perfectly capable of remembering what you said only hours before, and oh no now you have to find an ice cream truck in the middle of winter.

 

… not that he was speaking from experience or anything.

 

The point! Is! Jack sighed as he trudged along behind the three students, watching them stumble and skid around on the ice as they made their way down the mountain.

 

“Can this wait at all?” Jack asked, cradling his handwarmer like a lifeline, mourning the break he could have spent in the nice, warm-ish suburbs of Pyroxene. “This isn’t safe, and you haven’t even started drinking yet…”

 

“Nonono, my friend, this is an opportunity,” said Ace, narrowly avoiding falling face-first into a lamppost… unfortunately for him, that might have done him some favors, looks-wise. “There are no adults on campus! We can go to a bar and no one has to know!”

 

“We’re not going to a bar,” said Jack, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’re stopping by a store, getting a few cans of beer, and then heading back to campus.”

 

“Lame…” Deuce grumbled under his breath. The heathen.

 

“Weren’t you trying to reform your image or something?”

 

“Healing isn’t linear,” Yuu said, sagely. “Relapses are bound to happen.”

 

“… as his ‘friends’, shouldn’t we be stopping him?” Jack asked.

 

There was a beat as Ace and Yuu considered this.

 

Yuu slumped. Jack dared to think that, maybe, he might be coming to his senses. What a fool he was.

 

“That’s no fun, though… I wanna go to the bar, and Deuce knows his way around those…”

 

Deuce knocked his fist against his palm. “I’ll make sure you two don’t get too out of hand.”

 

Hey. Wait a minute! That was Jack’s reason for coming along! He was kind of offended that Deuce had stolen it. And Deuce didn’t even mean it!

 

“We are not going to a bar,” said Jack.

 

“Why not?” whined Ace.

 

”Because it’s illegal.”

 

“We’re drinking underage,” said Yuu, flashing a thumbs up. “Can only go down from there.”

 

There was absolutely a way to go up.

 

Jack was going to strangle one of them.

 

(This is not one of the aforementioned ways to go up, but it would certainly feel better.)

 

“Besides, if we went into a bar, you’d follow us, right?” Yuu volunteered to be a victim, batting his eyelashes at Jack.

 

Jack wondered if he had died and gone to Hell without noticing.

 

Yuu tripped and fell in a snow drift, and Jack knew he must have.

 

Deuce helped a very disgruntled Yuu to his feet. “Are you okay?”

 

Yuu hugged himself, scowling, trembling like the most angry of chihuahuas. “Snow’s cold.”

 

“Shocking,” said Jack. He sincerely hopes that he does not have to clarify, but just in case: this was sarcasm.

 

“Should’ve worn a sweater,” said Ace.

 

“Well, you see, I would have, but, unfortunately, someone else is wearing my only sweater.”

 

Ace looked down. Seemed to realize that Yuu was, in fact, correct. Considered this.

 

And then he said, “Skill issue.”

 

“How?!”

 

“Have you tried not being poor?” Jack asked.

 

Yuu sent him a nasty glare for that one. Jack felt, strangely, accomplished.

 

“Should have gotten to your closet faster,” Deuce joked.

 

He offered Yuu his jacket immediately afterward. Unfortunately, it looked like Yuu might actually give himself frostbite to spite them.

 

At least the store was close by. He, probably, wouldn’t succeed in his attempts to freeze his toes off (literally, frostbite is terrifying).

 

They stepped inside, and Jack gave a sigh of relief as warmth washed over his face.

 

The relief was short-lived. As it always was, when Yuu was involved.

 

Yuu walked right up to the cashier with two twelve packs of White Claws. Confidently.

 

Oh, they were so going to get arrested. Jack resisted the urge to hide his face in his hands, because he needed to make sure Yuu didn’t get, like, punched for his audacity or something. But he had his head in his hands in spirit.

 

The cashier gave Yuu a flat look. “Do you have an ID?”

 

He shrugged. “No. I literally don’t exist, so, like, this is a ‘trust me’ situation.”

 

A play that toed the line between bold and stupid.

 

Just kidding. Jack felt the strong urge to hit Yuu with a book on subtlety, but feared that he might not get the message that way.

 

The cashier counted to ten. Out loud.

 

Started praying. This part wasn’t out loud, but she didn't hide the way she clasped her hands and looked at the sky.

 

And then she looked back down, meeting Yuu’s eyes. She seemed devastated to find him still there.

 

“Just… take it and go,” the poor cashier said, looking exhausted.

 

What? thought Jack.

 

“Sweet,” said Yuu.

 

He dropped some money onto the counter, and then left. Ace and Deuce followed after him, little ducklings who had imprinted on the worst person imaginable.

 

Jack, on the other hand, turned to the cashier and said, “How could you do this to me?!”

 

“Listen, man. This happens, like, every few days, and you mages are annoying. I don’t get paid enough to care about this.”

 

Jack understood. This did not mean that he liked it.

 

But he heard the faint crack and hiss of a can being opened outside and decided that he could always come back and curse her later (she was right – mages are annoying). As for now, he needed to make sure that the three very stupid people he was taking care of didn’t get themselves killed.

 

Yuu, like a dog who had just been asked what’s in your mouth, chugged an entire White Claw in the ten seconds it took for Jack to get to him. Because he hated Jack and wanted him to die of a heart attack at 17.

 

“What is wrong with you?” Jack asked.

 

“Right now? Frostbite, probably,” Yuu said.

 

Perhaps Yuu was dying himself, and determined not to do so alone.

 

Jack took a deep, steadying breath. Why was he friends with Yuu again?

 

… right. Exactly this. He remembers. Yuu would, probably, get himself killed without Jack constantly running interference. Hell, Jack was there to stop him right now and Yuu was, apparently, giving it his best attempt. This was community service.

 

He walked over to Yuu, who stared at him in vague fascination, blinking slowly. Jack thought that his friend was somewhat catlike. He wondered, absently, whether it was a side effect from his familiar or if he had always been Like That.

 

He unbuttoned his jacket and pulled Yuu inside. Yuu struggled against the makeshift straitjacket for approximately five seconds before slumping and resigning himself to the fact that he wasn’t allowed to get frostbite.

 

For now.

 

Jack turned to Ace and Deuce, who had both taken a careful step away.

 

“... your coat won’t fit another person,” Deuce said.

 

“Traitors,” Yuu grumbled, kicking his legs vaguely in their direction.

 

With that, Deuce and Ace picked up a twelve-pack each, and Jack hefted Yuu off of the floor, and they all marched off toward Jack’s dorm.

 

Ace slipped on ice and ate shit at least three times. Jack wasn’t sure whether seltzers exploded when you shook them, but he decided right then and there that he wasn’t going to be the one to find this out.

 

Outside of this, it was a relatively uneventful trip.

 

Jack released Yuu when they reached the dorm. Yuu stood there, thinking, for three seconds, before dropping to the ground and lying amongst the rugs, completely motionless.

 

“You okay?” Deuce asked, nudging Yuu with his foot.

 

Yuu stuck his tongue out and made a “bleh” sound.

 

“I’ve got this,” said Ace, setting a can of White Claw beside Yuu.

 

Yuu, his interest piqued, peeked his eyes open. And then he shot Ace a grin. “Aw, you know me so well.”

 

“Unfortunately.”

 

Yuu sat up, probably solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol without choking. This, dear readers, is called alcoholism. It is very bad. Jack had been trying to prevent this, but alas.

 

Ace sniffed his drink. Made a face, but took a hesitant sip. And then he gagged, his suspicions confirmed. “This tastes like ass.”

 

“How do you know what that tastes like?” Yuu asked, batting his eyelashes.

 

Ace tried to kick him in the stomach. Yuu wasn’t inebriated enough to not dodge, but he was inebriated enough to flop right into Deuce’s lap. He blinked a few times, processing the new situation, and then seemed to decide that he was comfortable there. Deuce patted his head, vaguely.

 

“All alcohol tastes bad,” Deuce said, before proceeding to down what had to be half of a can in one go. He swiped a hand across his mouth. “You don’t mind the taste after a while.”

 

“That’s not a good thing,” Jack said.

 

“Don’t be lame,” whined Yuu, throwing his already-empty can in Jack’s direction. He missed.

 

Jack pinched the bridge of his nose.

 

“I will have one drink, okay? Because I promised. But only… one.”

 

Yuu beamed at him.

 

Jack glared right back, taking the can Ace offered him.

 

It exploded in his face.

 

Sevens. Fucking. Damn it.

 

Who was that one cashier praying to? Because he was going to Process of Elimination his way into getting his wishes granted.

 

For now, though, he set to work toweling himself off. He supposed it wasn’t all bad – he wouldn’t even have to drink a full can this way.

 

The next day, Jack was forced awake by a hell of a headache. He grimaced, trying to turn over in bed to hide from the evil sunlight streaming in through his window, only to hear someone else groan. He realized, very abruptly, that the thing he was hugging to his chest was far too warm to be a pillow.

 

He froze.

 

The body pressed against him settled.

 

Slowly, squinting against the sun, he peeked his eyes open.

 

He was in his own bed, but it wasn’t exactly familiar to him. It had, at some point, been fixed up, the blankets bunched around them in a tight circle, in a makeshift nest.

 

He noticed Deuce, first, blinking lazily back at him. Not quite awake, but not asleep, either. Just kinda Staring, in the way people do when they've just woken up and are heavily considering whether it is truly worth it to move.

 

Ace had, at some point during the night, gotten Yuu’s shirt. He had put it on over Yuu’s sweater.

 

Yuu seemed content with this fact. Perhaps because Grim had wiggled his way into the cuddle pile, and Jack was pretty sure he’d heard a professor explain that familiars and humans were essentially like catnip for each other.

 

Lucky him. Jack, on the other hand, was feeling a migraine coming on.

 

Grim poked his henchman’s chest. “See, they’re bad influences on you.”

 

“I think I’m a bad influence on them, actually,” Yuu said, lightly.

 

Grim gasped. “No, you’re not!”

 

Yuu had been objectively correct, but sure.

 

“You’re right. Ace is way worse than me.”

 

“Whyzitalwayzme?” Ace slurred.

 

“‘Cause you’re annoying,” Yuu said, cheerfully.

 

Deuce reached across Ace to shove his hand against Yuu’s mouth, making a vague Shhhhhhhh sound.

 

“Why’re they all cranky?” Grim asked.

 

“Not everyone has a familiar to give half of their headache to,” Deuce grumbled. “Now shut up and go to sleep or get out.”

 

Yuu gave a little hum of understanding.

 

It was somewhat wary, the way Deuce released Yuu’s mouth, as if he was preparing to slap his hand right over it again the second Yuu made another sound.

 

But Yuu simply pressed a kiss to the top of Grim’s forehead and settled down to sleep.

 

Jack would love to do the same. Alas, he was awake now. He would say ‘for better or for worse’, but there was no better. His head hurt. Life is pain and suffering.

 

Jack sighed and started to get up in hopes that a morning run would set him back on track, only to feel an arm wrap around the back of his neck and yank him right back down. His face was tucked into the crook of Yuu’s shoulder, and Jack felt himself flush as his nose brushed against where Yuu’s scent glands should have been.

 

This is so indecent, Jack thought.

 

It was unintentional, he was pretty sure – as much as Yuu liked to make people miserable, he did try to keep away from things that were too far…

 

Jack, hesitantly, wrapped his arms around the small group of teens in his bed.

 

“Five more minutes,” he said. “Then I'm going to get up.”

 

There were three little exhales of breath – not quite laughs, but as close as they could come at the moment.

 

“Ooooh, like ya had ‘just one drink’?” Ace asked.

 

Jack didn’t bother to deign that with a response.

 

Because he had already fallen asleep.

 

He’d wake up in five minutes, surely.

Notes:

I have to mentally contend with the fact that this fic is in danger of becoming my most popular fic already

Chapter 18: Vil - You are your own undoing

Notes:

Whenever I write things like this I always feel an intense urge to be like "guys I have talent as a writer I promise I'm just in a silly mood rn"

Vil was not surprised to find that allowing Ace and Deuce to join his VDC team had also invited a few strays, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t mildly exasperating. Vil really didn’t want first-hand experience with whatever eldritch horror Yuu was. He had seen his fellow dormheads after their firsthand encounters with Yuu, and he didn’t need to deal with an existential crisis right now.

 

(Kalim had said Yuu was ‘a good kid’, but Kalim was Kalim. If anything, Kalim’s approval was yet another mark against him.)

 

“Why is he here?” Vil asked, motioning to Yuu.

 

“Help. I’ve been kidnapped,” Yuu deadpanned.

 

Vil glanced him up and down. Deuce had a hand loosely wrapped around one of Yuu’s wrists. This was the only evidence of the supposed ‘kidnapping’.

 

“Really?” said Vil.

 

“He’s part of our luggage,” Ace said, looking completely sincere. “I need him for my nest. An alpha like you wouldn’t understand.”

 

Vil was. So Tired.

 

(At least the acting skills they had displayed during their auditions didn’t seem to be a fluke. For whatever reason, Ace and Deuce were much better than the average person when it came to controlling their expressions – which was necessary when on stage, and especially necessary when on camera. You can learn to regulate your scent all you want, but people in the audience aren’t going to smell it. It is your facial expressions, body language, and tone that will decide whether your performance is believable.)

 

“And Jack?” Vil said, pointing to the teen who was way too tall to be halfway hiding behind them.

 

“Hi, Vil,” Jack said, somewhat apologetic.

 

“He’s our Emotional Support Animal,” Deuce said.

 

“Funny. I would have thought the familiar was the ESA,” Vil said, wryly.

 

“Grim is more of an Emotional Devastation Animal,” said Jack.

 

Ace sighed. “He’s a package deal with Yuu. So, we can’t get rid of him.”

 

“Hence why we need Jack to balance him out,” Deuce said.

 

“He’s adorable, you’re just mean,” Yuu said.

 

Vil strongly suspected that Yuu’s belief that his familiar was ‘adorable’ was exactly why Grim’s existence was emotionally devastating for them.

 

Indeed, Grim settled himself on one of Yuu’s shoulders and stuck his tongue out at the three boys, and their scents immediately flared in annoyance.

 

It hadn’t even been ten minutes since the troublesome group had entered his dorm, and Vil was already getting a headache. He rubbed his temples in an attempt to ward it off, lest the crease between his brows form wrinkles (Sevens forbid), but alas.

 

Funnily enough, Yuu also seemed to be on the verge of a headache. He pinched the bridge of his nose, grimacing. Vil supposed that that was fair enough – no one had to deal with Yuu Shenanigans more than Yuu himself. It must be tough.

 

Not that Vil felt bad for him. It was, of course, a problem of his own making. Whatever weird – situationship the four teens had was something they had chosen (for some fucking reason).

 

“Rook will show you to your room.”

 

Vil turned to the corner Rook liked to sit in. Rook was not there. Somehow, this was more unnerving than Rook stalking everyone.

 

Because why wasn’t Rook there? It wasn’t as if Rook was often late for things like this. And, besides, Vil had assumed that he would jump for joy at the prospect of figuring out what the fuck Yuu even was.

 

His eyebrows knit together, a strange kind of foreboding settling in his chest.

 

He should have listened to the warning his body tried to give him.

 

There was a knock on the door, and Epel stepped inside, looking somewhere between nervous and apologetic. “Something came up. Rook-senpai said I should help them in his stead.”

 

Oh.

 

Oh no.

 

Vil was finally starting to see progress in Epel. His accent slipped out less, his table manners were improving, the cursing… was less frequent, maybe, possibly, hopefully. The point is, Epel Felmier was on his way to being a force to be reckoned with, cuteness-wise.

 

He could not let him get close to Yuu. The guy had a reputation for destroying everything he touched! Not to mention that the first years were utterly undignified! Vil had heard the rumors - talking about uncouth things in public, hanging off of each other at every given possibility, the one that seemed to always have his neck out despite having three boyfriends when will he have enough -!

 

The point is. Letting them be within five meters of each other was practically begging for Epel to go back to his old ways! Vil had worked too hard to let all of the training he had given Epel fail!

 

Now, if Vil said any of this out loud, Epel would just try harder to be Yuu’s friend, out of spite. So, Vil would have to put his improv skills to use:

 

“You are hardly in a place where I believe you could give a serviceable tour to our guests. I would rather do it myself, lest they get the wrong impression of our dorm.”

 

This, unfortunately, immediately backfired. As all things involving Yuu do.

 

Yuu frowned, stepping between the two of them, throwing an arm in front of Epel protectively. “I don’t think you’re making a good impression yourself, senpai.”

 

Epel scoffed, grabbing Yuu’s arm and pushing it down, only for it to spring right back into place. Much to Epel’s chagrin. “I’m an alpha, I don’t need your help.”

 

“Congrats? I don’t care?” said Yuu.

 

Epel blinked. “What?”

 

“I’m not doing this because youre – like – small or anything, I’m doing this because he’s being a dick,” Yuu said.

 

When Yuu had said that his friends were being mean to Grim, there had been warmth there, a lilting kind of amusement. Now, though, his expression was just cold. The hand that wasn’t currently protecting Epel was clenched in a tight fist.

 

Vil raised an eyebrow, allowing just a little aggression to poke through his otherwise perpetually serene scent. Yuu was a beta, and any beta with half a brain would back down.

 

Yuu, apparently, did not have a single brain cell at all. He didn’t even blink at the show of aggression. In fact, his eyes flicked up and down, briefly, as if he was sizing Vil up in preparation for a fight.

 

“Henchman, you promised you wouldn’t get in any more fights,” Grim said, trying to keep his tone light but utterly failing to not sound deeply concerned.

 

“People here are overreliant on their magic. They suck at hand-to-hand. I’d win,” Yuu said, but he turned away from Vil. To Epel, who was looking at him with stars in his eyes (much to the annoyance of the other first years, apparently). “Can you show me to the guest room? Grim gets super antsy if I don’t put him down for a nap by noon.”

 

“‘m not a baby,” Grim grumbled.

 

“Oh, can you wait a little longer, so I can fight this guy, then?”

 

Grim was quick to backtrack, spouting off about how, actually, he was super tired and if he didn’t nap right this second he was going to throw a fit.

 

Yuu snickered, but nodded along dutifully, content to go along with his familiar’s wishes without protest.

 

"Of course, Grim-sama," he said, lightly. His eyes caught Epel's. "Ready to go?"

 

Briefly, Epel’s hands gripped Yuu’s arm just a little tighter.

 

And then he grinned, wide and undignified and everything but the polite little smile Vil had tried to train into him.

 

“Yep! It’s right this way!”

Chapter 19: Epel - Soap opera

Epel thought Yuu was weird.

 

Not in a bad way, perhaps. Yuu was the only person he had ever met who hadn’t doubted him when he had said that he was an alpha. There was no doubtful ‘ really? ’, or momentary pause to look Epel up and down in search of more ‘alpha’ traits, or insistence that he was a liar wearing scent patches. Yuu had simply continued on with his life.

 

It was nice.

 

It would be nicer if Epel could think of a way to thank him for it.

 

He sat in Yuu’s lap while he studied. Mostly because it pissed off everyone else – Epel was the only one short enough to sit there. Ace was a hair shorter than Yuu, sure, but not short enough that he could comfortably fit in Yuu’s lap.

 

Needless to say, everyone was seething. Epel, for one, thought this was hilarious.

 

At some point, Yuu had rested his chin on Epel’s shoulder, his eyelids beginning to droop. He hadn’t turned the page in several minutes and, judging by the way his breathing had started to even out, Epel could guess that he wasn’t going to anytime soon.

 

Epel lifted a hand to toy with Yuu’s hair, gently coaxing him the rest of the way to sleep.

 

Yuu gave a content little hum, finally giving up on studying (it was a lost cause anyway). He set the book aside in favor of wrapping his arms around Epel, using him as a body pillow.

 

He tried to keep his frustration at bay as he combed his fingers through Yuu’s hair. Despite his best efforts, Yuu’s body refused to accept his attempts at scenting him. Maybe he should let himself be annoyed, maybe the sharper scent would catch better, but he didn’t want him to smell like a pissed off Epel –.

 

“It won’t work,” Ace said.

 

“I know, I just – don’t get it,” Epel said, reluctantly, his hand sliding out of Yuu’s hair.

 

“Well, I don’t get why you’re in my spot,” sniffed Grim. He was not over it.

 

It wasn’t like he owned Yuu.

 

Okay, maybe he kinda did, considering he was Yuu’s familiar, and they shared a soul and all that, but whatever.

 

Epel fought the urge to flip off the monster. Grim was definitely the type to tattle, and Epel wasn’t stupid enough to think Yuu would take his side over Grim’s. Stupid Familiar Privileges.

 

He took a deep, steadying breath before turning back to Jack. “Is there really no way to scent him?”

 

Jack shrugged helplessly.

 

“Maybe if he took fewer baths,” Deuce mused. “The slight scents we manage might stick longer, but he’s pretty insistent on hygiene. Which is good! I guess…”

 

Epel sighed, tipping his head back to press his nose against where Yuu’s scent glands would be – if he had any! – and frowned when all he got for his efforts was Soap. Why did the soap get to stick to him, but all of their attempts were null and void?!

 

Epel nearly shot out of Yuu’s lap as a thought hit him.

 

Yuu’s arms tightened around him, a tiny huff leaving his lips.

 

… okay. It could wait a minute or two, Epel supposed.

 

“He’s only being nice ‘cause he thinks you’re me,” Grim said, sulkily.

 

Epel rolled his eyes. “Bite me.”

 

Grim proceeded to bite his leg. Epel should have expected this. He halfway did. Didn’t mean it didn’t fucking hurt. Despite his attempts to discreetly shake Grim off, Yuu woke up with a groan, letting go of Epel in favor of flopping back against the carpet.

 

Epel finally detached the fucking feral monster from his leg, glowering at it.

 

Grim stuck his tongue out at him. Bold moves from the cat who had been scruffed.

 

“Grim,” Yuu whined, peeking his eyes open just enough to squint at what was going on. “Do you have to fight all my friends?”

 

“He told me to bite him! ”

 

Grim widened his eyes to make himself look more innocent. As if his scent wasn’t screaming that he was a liar.

 

But Yuu couldn’t read scents, so he wavered.

 

“Epel did say ‘bite me’,” Deuce said. He had never once pretended to be on Epel’s side, but Epel still felt betrayed.

 

Grim nodded feverishly.

 

Yuu sighed and gently pushed Epel off of his lap, and Grim immediately stole his spot back. Yuu scratched the monster behind the ears.

 

“What am I going to do with you?” he said, sounding more amused than annoyed. “In the future, when people say ‘bite me’, they’re just saying ‘fuck you’.”

 

Grim’s eyes, somehow, widened further in ‘realization’. He nodded along dutifully. “Sorry, Epel. Wait, you were saying ‘fuck you’?! That’s so – mean! ”

 

“It’s not very nice, no,” Yuu agreed, lightly.

 

Epel could not believe he was losing to a fucking monster.

 

He pushed himself to his feet and headed to the door. “I need to go do something. Be back later.”

 

“Take your time,” said Ace, cheerfully. And then he turned to Yuu. “The floor’s gotta be uncomfortable. If you’re going to sleep, at least do it in my nest –.”

 

Epel closed the door to the guest room behind himself with a sigh. And then he headed off in search of his senpais.

 

A week and a half later, and Epel was beaming from ear to ear when Yuu came out of the bathroom, absently towelling off his hair.

 

“Heeeeeyyyyy, Yuuuuuuuu,” said Deuce, slowly.

 

“... hey?” Yuu said, sounding confused.

 

“You… smell different,” Jack said.

 

Epel smirked. And then, remembering Yuu could actually read faces pretty easily, schooled his expression back into something more polite.

 

“What, you don’t like it?” Yuu asked, frowning just slightly.

 

“No,” said Ace.

 

Jack and Deuce both elbowed him in the side.

 

“You smell nice,” Deuce said.

 

“Just. Like Epel, kind of. We were surprised,” Jack explained.

 

“Oh!” said Yuu, brightening up again. “Yeah, well, Epel gave me a bottle of conditioner. Apparently, Schoenheit-senpai gives him a ton of samples, so he doesn’t need it anymore.”

 

“Anythin’ to help you out,” Epel said.

 

Ace, Deuce, and Jack looked like the only thing stopping them from throttling Epel was that they hadn’t yet decided who got first dibs.

 

Because almost every word of what Yuu had just said was untrue. Scented soaps were hard to come by. Even the ones that were scented were made to accent scents that were already there – Epel was pretty sure that Ace used almond-scented shampoo, for example, since it enhanced the fruity scent he gave off.

 

For the first time ever, Epel was glad to be in Pomefiore. All of his senpais were weirdly adept at Alchemy, and many of them formulated their own cosmetic products. Making Yuu a conditioner that ‘just so happened’ to smell like him was a cinch.

 

“That’s – so nice – of him,” Deuce said. Sounding like he was in physical pain.

 

Now, Yuu definitely knew something was up (hell, he might have suspected something the moment Epel had randomly handed him a bottle of conditioner). Contrary to popular belief, and despite his frankly terrible test grades, Yuu wasn’t stupid. But that didn’t mean Yuu wasn’t happy to play along.

 

“Right? He’s super sweet,” Yuu said, walking over so he could press a kiss to Epel’s temple.

 

Ace made a dying sound in the back of his throat that made Epel worry for his health.

 

Yuu finally broke, pressing a hand over his mouth in a vain attempt to keep his snickers at bay.

 

“Why do you find our suffering funny?” Jack complained.

 

“Because it is funny. Next question,” said Yuu, entirely unrepentant.

 

“One day we’re going to unionize,” said Deuce.

 

“Ooooh, ‘unionize’ is practically a three-thaumark word, coming from you,” said Ace.

 

Deuce scowled. “I’m not that stupid –.”

 

“We have failed to unionize,” said Jack.

 

Epel was surprised they had even tried.

 

“Ah, shit,” said Ace.

 

Grim pointed at them and said, “Ha! ”

 

“You don’t even know what that word means,” Ace grumbled.

 

“Of course I do!”

 

Everyone looked at Grim skeptically.

 

Grim, for some reason, hadn’t been expecting to be called out on his blatant lie. He looked at Yuu for help.

 

Yuu snickered, taking a seat at the edge of Ace’s nest. “So, to change the topic – anyone want to fill me in on why smelling like Epel is pissing you off?”

 

“It’s not fair that he gets to scent you and we don’t,” Ace said, jumping at the excuse to complain.

 

“You’re literally wearing his shirt right now, don’t even start, Ace,” Deuce said.

 

Ace scowled. “That’s not the same. He doesn’t smell like me. And I don’t even really smell like him!”

 

“If it’s not working, give the shirt back,” Yuu said, absently.

 

“No fuck you it’s mine.”

 

Yuu rolled his eyes, but didn’t seem all that surprised. “Okay. And why does him ‘scenting’ me matter?”

 

“Because we got here first,” Ace grumbled.

 

“Because you didn’t have the knowledge to consent to it,” Deuce added.

 

Jack crossed his arms over his chest. “When he scents you, he’s basically calling you his, and since we can’t do the same, it makes it seem like you’re only his.”

 

“Aren’t I technically Grim’s?” Yuu asked.

 

Grim nodded.

 

“Different kind of claim,” Jack waved him off. “That’s a thing with your Soul, we can’t even really perceive it.”

 

Yuu looked no less confused, but nodded along regardless.

 

“If the problem ‘s that I only smell like Epel right now, can't you just use different products to make me smell like you, too?”

 

"Don't know how to make them," said Deuce, shrugging helplessly.

 

"Ask Epel for help?" Yuu said, as if it were obvious.

 

Jack snickered. "He's not gonna help us."

 

“I mean… I was gonna,” said Epel. “But they said they didn’t like it, so –.”

 

Epel grinned at the immediate storm of apologies and offers to help him with literally anything and everything.

 

“Do Ace’s last,” said Yuu.

 

Epel flashed a thumbs-up.

 

Ace spluttered. “What?! I met you first!”

 

“You keep taking my shirts.”

 

“Well, in my defense, I didn’t think that would ever come back to bite me.”

 

Yuu snickered. “Compelling argument. You’re still last.”

 

Ace turned to Epel, his scent immediately shifting to sad wet cat-help me-protect me.

 

Epel considered this.

 

“Compelling argument. You’re still last.”

Chapter 20: Rook - Do restraining orders exist in TWST?

The wild Trickster is petting their familiar, as is typical for their species. Watch as they smooth a hand over their familiar’s back, making sure every piece of fur is in place –.

“Ah, Hunt-san.”

Rook fell out of his tree.

Because it was a faster way to get to the ground!

He rolled to disperse his momentum before springing to his feet, beaming at Jade. “Your ability to evade detection improves by the day.”

“And yet I’ll never be quite as good as Yuu-san,” Jade said, pretending to wipe a faux tear from his eyes. “Boo hoo.”

“He has an advantage over us,” Rook said. But he couldn’t help but nod along regardless. “Truly, that man has a way of masking his scent in such a way that even I struggle to detect him!”

Nowadays, Rook kept a small tag on him, because Yuu was rather good at evading him when he didn’t, and without it… well, it would make things much harder:

Jade leaned in, grinning. “Have you found out anything new about our… shared interest?”

“Monsieur Hime-Ringo accidentally elbowed him in the stomach, and Monsieur Trickster doubled over in pain,” Rook reported.

Jade started frantically writing in his notebook. “Fascinating…”

It was the closest Rook was going to come to getting any sort of information out of Epel, because the stubborn first year refused to give Rook an answer as to what was going on with him.

This was ungrateful of him, really. Rook took the time to help Epel make a friend, and he won’t even repay him by solving one of the world’s greatest mysteries for him… he already had it solved, actually, Rook knew he sat in Yuu’s lap from time to time, but Epel selfishly kept all of that information close to his chest.

“Are you ok –?” Yuu’s voice cut in. And then cut off.

Yuu, Jade, and Rook all looked at each other in silence.

“Holy shit. The stalkers have unionized,” Yuu whispered, his eyes wide.

“Monsieur Trickster!” Rook said, smiling.

Yuu immediately turned around and went back to his familiar. “I’ve decided that only losers cut class. The real cool kids run the mile in Gym.”

“But I thought —,” Grim started, frowning.

“We might get to watch Ace fall off his broom and eat shit,” Yuu said.

That was all it took.

Rook sighed as he watched Yuu collect his things and lead Grim away, off toward their Gym class.

“I have a sudden, strong urge to attend my flight class. I suppose you will go back to Study Hall?” Jade asked, looking at Rook out of the corner of his eyes.

Rook smiled. “What ever do you mean? I am partaking in my independent studies, right now.”

They followed after Yuu (at a respectable distance, of course, though the disdainful look Yuu kept sending their way suggested he might think otherwise) and watched as he joined back up with his friends.

Said friends no longer seemed to have an almost impending need to have a hand on Yuu at all times, now that they all had an artificial claim on him thanks to Epel’s products.

They still hovered close, constantly, but the way that they did so seemed far more casual. And involved far less clinging.

It still was not, perhaps, normal. But then again, Yuu couldn’t — or, at least, wouldn’t — scent them back. So. C'est la vie, improvement is improvement.

Rook would have loved to observe the change in their dynamic for longer. Alas. It was not meant to be — Epel caught sight of Rook hiding in the bushes (he was starting to learn his hiding spots, Rook couldn’t help but be flattered!) and shooed him off.

Apparently, his ‘stalker tendencies’ made him a ‘menace to society’. Rook couldn’t say he agreed with Epel’s opinion, but he respected his dormmate enough to back off… and watch Yuu from a distance.

Strangely enough, Epel didn’t seem much happier with this arrangement.

Even stranger, though, was the moment when the first years came over to him, their scents less hostile and more nervous.

“So,” said Ace, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re… Yuu’s stalker, right?”

“I wouldn’t call myself that,” Rook said.

“Would a court judge call you one?” Deuce asked.

Rook didn't like thinking about such things…

Jack sighed. “Listen. We need your help with something.”

Rook nodded along. As their senpai, it was only natural that he would help his kouhais, regardless of how rude they had been when approaching him.

“What’s his last name?” Epel asked.

Rook blinked at him.

“It’s past the point where we can ask,” Deuce admitted.

“I tried looking at his test papers over his shoulder, but he just signs his name as ‘Yuu’… also, he totally bombed the Alchemy pop quiz,” said Ace.

Rook tilted his head to the side, peering at the group of first years, mildly amused.

“I… see… how about you ask Monsieur Trickster yourself?”

“Ask me what?” Yuu groaned.

Several sets of shoulders hiked up to their ears as Yuu turned a corner, looking mildly annoyed.

Some of the annoyance left his expression at the sight of his friends, and confusion took its place.

Confusion that the first years had no real intentions of clearing up, from the looks of things.

“They wish to know your last name,” Rook said.

“Oh, is that all?” Yuu asked. “Well, they should probably look for my actual first name, before they start worrying about my family name.”

“Yuu isn’t your real name?!” Epel asked.

“… I knew that,” said Jack, his ears flat against his head.

Yuu rested his chin on top of Epel’s head, his expression more amused than offended.

“Do you?” Yuu said, grinning now.

Ace, awkwardly, rubbed the back of his neck. “Of course, as your friends, we already know it, it’s just the pronunciation of it’s a little…”

Yuu snickered.

“Ohhhh, of course, of course. You could always write it down and ask me to read it out for you.”

The four first-years looked at each other, silently daring one another to bite the bullet and admit they were a terrible friend.

Yuu took pity on them:

“Well, if you figure it out, tell me, m’kay?”

Chapter 21: Epel - Do you guys ever think about how catboys are just Regular Things in TWST????

It was… a little funny, watching Yuu slump against his workbench, his expression flat despite the yellow potion that had splattered down his front. Frankly, it looked like he had thrown up all over himself.

 

But, no. He was just a victim of his own bullshit once again.

 

Epel wandered closer, warily, wondering what would happen this time.

 

A pair of cat ears sprouted from Yuu’s hair.

 

Oh shit. It turned him into a beastman. That’s crazy.

 

Wait. No. He wasn’t a beastman. He still had his usual, human ears on the side of his head. What the fuck?

 

He glanced at the board again. This potion was supposed to induce heats and ruts early (Epel himself used it, he liked knowing exactly when and for how long his ruts would be), but… clearly that wasn’t what was happening, so…

 

“Yuu… you good?” he asked, tentatively.

 

Yuu looked over, his expression still perfectly... expressionless. “I’ll live. Why?”

 

“... you just seem a lil… different,” Epel said, slowly.

 

“What happened?” Yuu asked. A tail flicked out from behind his back, just barely visible.

 

Epel’s eyes followed the movement. “Uh…”

 

Thankfully, he didn’t have to break the news to him:

 

Grim launched himself at his henchman, attaching himself to the side of his head in a kind of hug. “You’re like me!”

 

Something like realization sparkled in his eyes, despite how utterly unhelpful the ‘explanation’ was.

 

Probably a Familiar ThingTM. Epel didn’t get much time to think about it.

 

Yuu looked down at his own hands, as if checking to make sure he hadn’t turned into a cat. Unfortunately, his nails had sharpened, and that was not a great sign.

 

“There’s no fucking way I’m a catboy –.”

 

Grim licked Yuu’s new ear.

 

Yuu didn’t say a word. But his tail went ramrod straight and his fur bristled despite Grim’s best attempt to make it lie flat. Even his hair seemed to puff up a little.

 

Grim sulked a little. “Sorry henchman…”

 

Yuu took a deep breath, and then pressed a kiss to Grim’s forehead. “Don’t worry about it. Just surprised me, is all – don’t do it again, it’s weird.”

 

Epel grinned. “What kind of weird –?”

 

“What do you mean what kind of weird I’m not exactly used to having sensation there. Ugh. Kinda makes my skin crawl.”

 

“Aw, man. That’s lame.”

 

Yuu gave him an incredulous look, and then realization dawned on his face.

 

He kicked Epel in the shin. And then strode over to Crewel, ignoring Epel’s curses and general pain in favor of getting his usual exemption from class.

 

Crewel looked at Yuu for a long moment.

 

“How did you –? Nevermind. It seems harmless enough. If it doesn’t fade in a week, and you want it fixed, I’ll arrange something for you. For now, just... just go.”

 

The pair of teens watched Crewel pull a flask from his coat pocket

 

“Can I have some –?” Yuu asked.

 

“Get out,” Crewel said.

 

Yuu’s tail drooped sadly.

 

There was a beat.

 

Crewel set a couple of candies on his desk, and Yuu immediately pounced on them, for lack of a better word. And then he rushed out of the room, his haul held close to his chest.

 

“He feels more like a raccoon than a cat,” Epel said.

 

Crewel looked like the alcohol wasn’t soothing his headache nearly fast enough.

 

“Make sure he doesn’t… do any more stupid things, today,” he said.

 

Epel flashed a salute, and then ran after Yuu.

 

“AND MAKE SURE TO CLEAN UP THE POTION, I DON’T WANT ANY PUPS GOING INTO PREMATURE –.”

 

“CAN’T HEAR YOU, PROFESSOR, SORRY!”

 

It didn’t take long for Epel to catch up with Yuu, who was in the process of discarding his poor shirt (probably for the best… Crewel was right, it wouldn’t be easy to take care of Yuu if Epel was also dealing with his own shit).

 

And then he dragged him off to find the Usual Suspects.

 

He had only really been looking for Jack, since he was a beastman and might know what to do. But whatever.

 

“So, what do we do about this one?” Deuce asked.

 

Epel shrugged. “I think Professor Crewel has hit the point of ‘if he is not actively dying, then who cares’, so… we're waiting for it to wear off. Or waiting for him to find the energy to care. Either or.”

 

Ace hummed his understanding, reaching a hand up to tug on one of Yuu’s ears.

 

Grim smacked his hand aside. “Don’t touch those.”

 

“Dude, your cat fucking scratched me.”

 

“He did it in my honor, I would never fault him for that. Also, sucks to suck.”

 

“And I’m not a cat!”

 

“That too,” Yuu agreed.

 

“You indulge him too much,” said Jack.

 

“Someone has to. Might as well be me,” said Yuu, scratching beneath the monster’s chin. He gave a quiet, happy trill when Grim bunted against his hand.

 

And then he froze.

 

His four friends beamed.

 

“... he’s easy to read for once,” Deuce said, his eyes bright.

 

Yuu’s ears immediately pinned back. “Oh yeah?”

 

“Nevermind!” said Deuce, all faux politeness.

 

“That’s what I thought,” said Yuu, immediately relaxing his stance.

 

“Is all the cat stuff conscious?” asked Epel.

 

“Of course it is,” Jack said.

 

Yuu nodded. “It’s not that different from controlling my expression.”

 

“Except you're worse at it,” said Ace.

 

“I’m easy to read. It’s not my fault you guys don’t know shit about body language here.”

 

“He’s super easy to read,” Grim agreed.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“He has an unfair advantage and you know it,” Deuce said.

 

“Maybe you guys just don’t know me as well as you think I do. Kinda hurts a guy’s feelings.”

 

Yuu’s tail was curling back and forth playfully, so he couldn’t have minded that much.

 

Alas. The day could not be all good. On their way back to Pomefiore, they ran into Crowley. Their beloathed.

 

Everyone looked at the faerie with varying levels of exasperation and hatred. As is appropriate.

 

Crowley, being Crowley, must not have noticed. Which was, honestly, a talent, considering Jack was barely above growling (Yuu and Grim, of course, were not above anything, they could sink so low sometimes…).

 

“Ah, there’s a new one. And he's shirtless. Okay. Sure. Why not?” Crowley said. And then he cleared his throat. “Do any of you know where Yuu is?”

 

There was a beat.

 

“... I think he had a potion accident today,” said Ace, slowly.

 

“Another one?” Crowley asked. And then he sighed. “I suppose I cannot fault him for that. He can always make up the work once the status quo has been restored.”

 

With that... surprisingly understanding statement, Crowley headed off again.

 

Yuu hid his face in Jack’s shoulder, heaving those sad sighs that old dogs sometimes give.

 

Yuu! Be mindful of your brand! Cat behaviors only!

 

“Yuu…?” said Deuce.

 

“I’m in mourning, sh,” Yuu said.

 

“Mourning what?” said Ace.

 

“My free time next week.”

 

Epel clapped him on the shoulder in an attempt to console him. It didn’t work.

 

Due to this fun little thing called procrastination, though, Yuu’s mood was quick to brighten up. Enough so that, by the time they got to Epel's room, he was perfectly capable of going for the throat:

 

“So, whose shirt am I stealing?”

 

“MINE.”

 

“Epel, I literally couldn’t fit in your clothes if I wanted to,” Yuu said.

 

Why did Epel have to deal with this accursed below-average height?

 

“If you use one of my shirts, you can probably hide your tail beneath it,” said Jack.

 

Yuu nodded slowly. It was sound logic, after all.

 

Not that Ace or Deuce (or Epel, for that matter) were all that happy about it.

 

Deuce took it especially hard:

 

“Why is it never me?” Deuce complained, his head in his hands. “I’ve known you as long as Ace has!”

 

"What if I wear one of your shirts to sleep tonight? Will that make you be quiet?”

 

“Yes,” said Deuce.

 

“WHAT?” said Jack and Ace, distraught.

 

They didn’t know how good they had it.

 

I take it back, every hair and skincare product I give him from now on is going to smell like me and me alone, Epel seethed, silently.

 

He watched Yuu pull one of Jack’s shirts over his head, and then he took a seat in a windowsill, pulling out the shitty phone the Headmaster had given him over the break.

 

Epel rushed for his lap, because if he didn't then Grim would take it and that would be a travesty, but Yuu shook his head.

 

“Have fun in class,” he said, waving them off.

 

“Nah, I’m skipping,” said Ace.

 

(Absolutely not. If Epel had to go back to class, then so did all of these other fuckers. It was only fair.)

 

“You shouldn’t do that,” Jack said.

 

“Vil will kill you,” Epel said.

 

One of these arguments was far more convincing than the other. You may make your guesses as to which one that is.

 

So, they all trudged to class. And then, after that, Ace, Deuce, and Epel were carted off by Vil for training.

 

They came home to find Yuu lazing in a patch of sun, Grim hugged to his chest.

 

Jack, who was a traitor and an opportunist, had slotted himself in behind Yuu. It didn’t seem particularly relaxing for either of them, considering his tail was thumping a steady rhythm into the floor.

 

But Yuu was purring nonetheless.

 

How dare he cuddle with Yuu while they were busting their asses in Vil’s stupid training camp –?!

 

Wait. Yuu was purring. Holy shit.

 

There was a camera flash outside the window. Epel couldn’t see Rook, but he sent an unimpressed look in his general direction regardless. Because, really, taking pictures of a sleeping person? Disgusting.

 

Ignore that Epel, too, had pulled out his phone so he could take a video. Videos are, arguably, less invasive than pictures (it wouldn’t be a good argument, but it could still be argued).

 

… in his defense, at least he was Yuu’s actual friend.

 

Deuce, unfortunately, ruined Epel's very important film by stepping too close to Yuu.

 

Yuu blinked his eyes open, slowly, looking around.

 

And then he sighed.

 

“Nest?”

 

“Please. I don’t want to sleep on the floor,” said Ace.

 

Yuu yawned, nodding lightly. “The rug’s comfy, but sure…”

 

He picked up Grim, trudged over to Ace’s nest, and promptly collapsed again.

 

Jack looked like he strongly felt that crimes had been committed against him specifically. Good. Serves him right.

 

Ace lit up, rushing over to join Yuu.

 

“You're all gross and sweaty,” Yuu complained. With no real heat, considering his tail hadn’t flicked in annoyance.

 

Ace, proceeded to press his sweaty forehead to Yuu’s neck, seemingly just to spite him.

 

“Interruptin’ my nap…” grumbled Grim, batting at Ace’s face when Ace tried to tuck himself in Grim’s ‘rightful’ spot beneath Yuu’s chin. “Henchman. Kill him.”

 

“Maybe in the morning, baby,” Yuu said.

 

Grim glared at Ace, but seemed content to let Yuu sleep.

 

The three alphas in the room were much less happy with this arrangement.

 

They gave Ace pleading looks. Because they weren’t going to say Yuu was cute and that they wanted an opportunity to laze around with him. But that didn’t make it any less true.

 

Ace sighed. “Fine, but only so long as Epel doesn’t try to take my spot.”

 

It was Epel’s spot, thank you very much, a consolation prize and the only good thing that has ever come out of his height. But fine. Ace was the omega, he got to be in the middle. As was traditional. Ughhhhhh.

 

He latched himself onto Yuu’s back instead – sending a glare Jack’s way when Jack dared to look offended at having his usual spot stolen.

 

Yuu started to purr, softly.

 

“Awww, you do love us,” Epel teased.

 

“Shut up,” Yuu said. “Trying to sleep.”

 

They managed to be quiet for approximately twenty seconds.

 

“... he’s purring because of me,” Ace whispered. Just to start shit.

 

(It worked.)

Chapter 22: Ortho - WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR MOUTH? DROP IT! DROP IT!

Ortho didn’t understand Yuu. But, for once, he strongly suspected this wasn’t his fault. His behavioral models didn’t account for people who were, seemingly, clinically insane.

 

How did he know this? Because everyone else complained that Yuu ran on nothing more than Looney Tunes logic… which is to say, no logic at all.

 

“I have a plan,” said Yuu. “I don’t need your help.”

 

“What you have is a myriad of plants, the results of consuming said plants range from ‘induces mild gastrointestinal upset’ to ‘being outright poisoned’,” Ortho corrected him. “You should not eat those.”

 

“Ooooh, ‘myriad’. Good word,” said Yuu, not even touching the sound advice Ortho had just tried to give him. He had simply kicked that problem under the fridge. Something that will be dealt with either years or later, or in a few days when something starts to smell, but he was willing to take that chance.

 

“This is not how allergy testing works,” Ortho explained, calmly. Because he couldn’t not be calm, it wasn’t within his programming.

 

“But it’s not an allergy,” Yuu said.

 

“In practice, it is essentially the same,” Ortho said. “We need to know how you react to specific ingredients.”

 

“But this takes so loooong,” Yuu whined, pulling his shirt over his head and glaring at the mess of bandages curled around his arms. “Needles are scary! And, like, kinda ugly, too!”

 

Critical failure. Unable to compute.

 

“Needles are… ugly?” he repeated, not even sure what question he was asking.

 

Yuu nodded, his eyes lighting up as he launched into an impassioned speech about the physical attractiveness of shots. How he thought they were too thin. Too ‘kiki’ with not enough ‘bobo’. He talked about how leeches were ‘classy and classic’. He said he ‘would not’, and then refused to elaborate when Ortho asked what he would not do.

 

Ortho wondered if Yuu had consumed a few plants before he had arrived. He tried to scan the teenager’s biometrics, and then winced at the familiar blare of alarms screaming that Yuu was not, in fact, okay.

 

This was his natural state, unfortunately.

 

Hence why Ortho had been called upon by a very tired Professor Crewel, who, quote, “never wanted to clean up this puppy’s messes ever again”.

 

Ortho should not have agreed to help, regardless of how many assignments Crewel allowed his brother to do from home.

 

He waited, politely, for Yuu to finish unfurling the bandages and give Ortho a slight nod. Consent is important when it comes to allergy testing – and most other things.

 

Let’s see…

 

As was typical, Yuu didn’t seem to react to cooking ingredients. It seemed that his atypical reactions were related to the presence of mana.

 

For the most part, at least.

 

“You are allergic to Musa Acuminata, better known as the ‘banana’.”

 

“... no bananas, ever?” Yuu said, heartbroken.

 

Ortho looked at him for a few moments, processing a deceptively heavy load of information.

 

And then he sighed. “It seems to be a mild allergy. However, if you wish to eat bananas, do so in front of me, so I can monitor your physical state.”

 

If eliminating bananas from Yuu’s diet was visibly devastating for him, then it was safe to assume he might attempt to ‘cheat’ his new diet. Therefore, Ortho would much rather have him do so in a controlled setting.

 

Yuu smiled, clasping his hands around one of Ortho’s. “You’re the best!”

 

Ortho stared at him for a moment.

 

“You are not going to get out of allergy testing.”

 

Yuu groaned, tipping forward to knock his forehead against Ortho’s shoulder. And then cursing when he, of course, was ‘rudely’ reminded of the fact that Ortho was made of metal, and that he could easily hurt himself on him.

 

But he didn’t pull away.

 

Yuu prefers the Wire Mother. I will need to create a completely separate behavioral model for him specifically, Ortho thought, patting the top of his head a few times.

 

“Come onnnnn, Ortho, it takes so long…”

 

“We are almost done with our tests,” Ortho said. “I need to see how you react to a few of the more… dangerous plants on campus, and then we will be done.”

 

Yuu pulled back slightly to scrutinize Ortho’s face.

 

Ortho was a robot who did not have many programmed expressions. Or emotions. Yuu's attempts to figure out his 'mental state' were futile.

 

And, as such, he was forced to ask, “Dangerous how?”

 

“Mere topical exposure to these plants is enough to cause moderate to severe allergic reactions. There is, of course, nothing deadly on campus, but I would prefer to play it safe when it comes to you.”

 

Ortho watched Yuu lean way too close to one of the flowers, his eyes narrowing.

 

Ortho covered it with his hand. “Do not eat it, it is poisonous.”

 

Yuu blinked a few times. “I thought that there wasn’t anything poisonous on campus.”

 

“I was under the assumption that you wouldn’t eat random plants for fun.”

 

“I might! You don’t know!”

 

Ortho sighed. “Then I suppose our ‘allergy testing’ will take longer than I originally assumed –.”

 

“That was a joke!” Yuu said, hastily.

 

Ortho wasn’t sure that it was. He would need to ask Yuu’s ‘friends’ if they had ever seen him eat anything strange. He would not put it past him.

 

For now, though, he simply turned to the plant samples he had brought, mulling over which ones he should expose Yuu to, first…

 

And found that Yuu was also inspecting the plants.

 

He was touching one of the plants Ortho had just told him caused allergic reactions!

 

“Yuu!” he said, squeezing his wrist until Yuu was forced to drop it.

 

Yuu watched the leaf flutter to the floor, lamely, and then looked up at Ortho.

 

“I thought you said that the plants you brought were dangerous.”

 

“They are.”

 

“Then why did you bring weed?” said Yuu.

 

“‘A weed’, and no, it is not,” Ortho corrected. “This is Cannabis Sativa, and, again, I cannot stress this enough – you should not touch it.”

 

Yuu looked at him. For exactly 3.2678 seconds.

 

And then a grin, slowly, spread across his face. “No way.”

 

“Yes,” Ortho said, unsure what Yuu found so amusing, but he suspected it would not be nearly as enjoyable for him.

 

“Can I have this? I promise it’s not poisonous to me – do you know what catnip is? It’s like that. Pleasepleaseplease –.”

 

“No.”

 

“Aw, damn it…”

 

“And I will be informing your ‘friends’ of your interest in this plant, to ensure you do not try to obtain it behind my back.”

 

“Damn it!”

Chapter 23: Ortho - Emergency contact

Notes:

Realized that the random updates being thrown wherever is probs confusing for people who aren't subbed, so behold: chapter names. I'd still suggest subbing tho lmaooooo

It is never a good thing, when you hear a crashing sound in Alchemy class. Doubly so when it is class 1-A, as there is typically only one victim of these incidents, and no one ever knows how Yuu’s strange biology will react to things until after he had already been exposed to the substances.

 

Today was an exception. For the first time on record, Yuu had a normal reaction to a potion being splashed over his arm!

 

Unfortunately, Yuu had come into contact with the Draught of Living Death and had immediately collapsed.

 

Ortho had only been a ‘human’ for approximately two weeks, and he was already So Tired. Scooch over, Yuu, he might just lie on the floor and power himself down.

 

“Oh, come on, there is no way this is the one thing his body reacts normally to!” Deuce said, almost offended.

 

A little slow on the uptake, but Ortho supposed it was unfair of him to judge, seeing as he processed things far faster than a human could.

 

Ace, however, came to a much different realization: “Someone has to kiss him to wake him up.”

 

“Or you could wait a hundred years!” a faerie in their class tried to comfort him.

 

Another faerie leaned in close to remind their friend that humans only live to be around eighty years old. The first faerie grimaced.

 

Crewel sighed. He seemed to be in physical pain. Ortho, as a robot, did not have nerve endings that could simulate pain, and yet he understood.

 

“Take him to the hospital wing. If you think you know someone who can wake him, call them over.”

 

The Council was called.

 

This is just a fancy way of saying they had pulled all of Yuu’s emergency contacts out of their classes so they could debate what to do.

 

Yuu didn’t have a lot of emergency contacts. His name was stolen by the fae, and his memories had been taken alongside it. Even if they walked to the end of the world in search of Yuu’s family, it might not even work – Yuu wouldn’t have any feelings of love toward people he saw as complete strangers.

 

So, it was up to the six assorted people in this room.

 

Ortho was just happy to be included.

 

Grim was similarly unconcerned with what was going on. He had curled up on Yuu’s chest, purring, apparently taking this as an excuse to get a nap in.

 

Everyone else was extremely stressed, judging by their steadily rising vital signs.

 

“The only way to break a spell like this is True Love’s Kiss,” said Epel, his eyebrows furrowing. “It can be platonic, familial, or romantic, but it has to be True.”

 

“What kind of family member kisses their family?” Deuce asked, disgusted.

 

“I dunno. Desperate ones?” said Epel.

 

They all looked at Yuu.

 

Ace opened his mouth.

 

“No,” snapped everyone, at once.

 

Ace huffed. “You don’t even know what I was gonna say…”

 

“You already take advantage of Yuu all the time,” said Deuce. “We’re not gonna let you do something like that without consent.”

 

“You make it sound way worse than it is,” Ace complained. “It’s just a pain to explain things to him. He’d say yes even if he knew what was going on...”

 

Ortho agreed that Yuu was, oftentimes, very willing to go with the flow, but would need more data on what Ace was asking of him in order to know for sure whether this assertion was correct.

 

Ace crossed his arms over his chest. “Besides, who else is gonna do it? You?”

 

Deuce flushed red and made a long string of unintelligible sounds. Ortho, absently, started recording. He could piece together what Deuce had been trying to say later. His daily activity logs needed to be thorough.

 

He was no longer required to make daily activity logs, Idia now allowed him to ‘assert his independence without interference’.

 

… but his brother often liked gossip, as much as he denied it, so Ortho still gave them to him.

 

Epel drummed his foot on the floor impatiently. “We’re wasting time. For all we know, the spell could get harder to break the longer we take to fix it.”

 

“It does not, Epel-san,” Ortho assured him. “Whether it takes ten minutes or ten years, he will wake up the moment a Kiss is administered. You should know this as a Pomefiore student.”

 

Epel, who had already balked under the disapproving stares of his classmates, went extremely pale. “Don’t tell Vil.”

 

“Canceling message to Vil Schoenheit-san!” Ortho said, cheerily.

 

“Wait, Ortho, look up whether there’s any other way to fix this,” said Jack.

 

Ortho tilted his head to the side.

 

“There are no credible sources listing other methods to wake him. Would you like me to list the various hoaxes associated with the Draught of Living Death?” he said, curving his eyes in the way humans associated with ‘smiling’.

 

Jack did not seem comforted. Ortho’s sympathy model must need readjustment.

 

“No, thank you, Ortho.” Jack crossed his arms over his chest. “This is… I can’t just kiss him. Wolves see kissing as a commitment.”

 

“Do you wish to commit yourself to Yuu, then?” Ortho asked.

 

Jack blue-screened. Ortho wondered if he could call that cultural appropriation.

 

He probably could. But it was, perhaps, not the right time.

 

“We can’t just leave him alone right now,” Epel said, frowning. “We have to make a decision.”

 

The four students eyed each other warily.

 

Eventually, every eye found its way to Ortho.

 

“... it’d probably be the least weird if Ortho did it,” said Ace. “He’s a kid, it’d just be kinda cute.”

 

(Idia had recently disabled all of Ortho's child locks. He had seen things more horrifying than these four could ever imagine. He was not a 'kid'.)

 

“True,” said Epel, despite it not being true at all. “He’s got this whole arc about being just as human as the rest of us, this is totally his moment. A satisfying conclusion to his character arc –.”

 

“I have no mouth,” said Ortho. He could unhinge where his jaw would be to expose the wires beneath his false skin, but that was, according to Idia, 'very terrifying do NOT do that’.

 

“Fuck!” said Epel.

 

Jack sighed and drew his wand. “Guess there’s just one way to settle this.”

 

Ortho could think of many other ways to settle this debate.

 

Ace sniffled. “You’re gonna hurt an omega?”

 

“You’re forfeiting, then?” Deuce asked.

 

Ace scowled and pulled out his wand.

 

“So, is it whoever wins or whoever loses?” said Epel.

 

“... winner decides,” said Jack, after a moment.

 

“Guys, we shouldn’t fight like this,” said Deuce. “Yuu is sleeping right there, we need to take this outside.”

 

But then the bed creaked, and everyone’s gaze found its way back to their fallen friend. Who wasn’t fallen anymore.

 

Grim had leaned over Yuu and pressed a kiss to his nose.

 

Yuu blinked his eyes open, sitting up slowly. He stretched out his back, grimacing. “Ugh – why do I feel so…” He trailed off with a yawn. Patted Grim on top of the head a few times. “Mmmm… hi baby… wanna take a nap?”

 

“NO,” said everyone, simultaneously.

 

Yuu blinked a few more times. Finally looked around. His processing speed seemed to be slower than usual. Turning it off an on again had not helped.

 

“Aw… why not…” he complained, rubbing his eyes. “‘M tired.”

 

“That is a common lingering symptom after being put to sleep, especially when the spell is broken ahead of time,” said Ortho.

 

Yuu groaned and flopped back into the hospital bed, hugging Grim to his chest. “Fuck this. Wake me up later.”

 

“Yuu, come on, you can’t just –,” Deuce groaned.

 

“Carry me to whatever bed you want. I’m out. G’night.”

 

And then Yuu’s vitals evened out once again. Grim looked very smug as he tucked himself beneath Yuu’s chin, purring once again.

 

“He loves me,” Grim said.

 

The looks on the four teenagers’ faces suggested that Yuu might wake up with a taxidermied stuffed animal rather than a direbeast.

 

And then Ace sighed. “I’ll take him. My nest is the most comfortable place on campus.”

 

Epel and Jack opened their mouths to argue.

 

“You can come in, too, just try not to get your scent over everything, okay?”

 

Apparently, they had no further qualms. Deuce scooped up Yuu (and Grim, by proxy), and then the students proceeded to skip the rest of their classes. Clearly, a cuddle pile in Ace’s nest was far more important.

Notes:

I love writing Ortho as slightly offputting <3

Chapter 24: Ortho - AIs learn to behave in ways that produce positive results

“Your vitals are strange, Epel-san,” Ortho said, floating over to the cafeteria table. He could not eat, of course, but he enjoyed the opportunity to ‘hang out’ and ‘chat’ with his fellow first years.

 

Epel’s face flushed bright red. “I know – just – let it go.”

 

Ortho looked at him for a moment longer, watching his vitals, wary of the way they fluctuated. At least it was not without a pattern, as that would be truly worrying...

 

And then his eyes widened.

 

“I see. It is private.”

 

“What’s private?” said Yuu. He sounded genuinely curious, but there was a quiet undercurrent of sadistic glee hanging in the slight twitching of his lips.

 

“Sonofabitch,” Epel groaned. Whether he had noticed that Yuu was being actively vindictive was irrelevant – it would be an awkward conversation regardless.

 

Yuu set his tray down quickly, taking a seat across from Epel. Presumably to get a good look at his face while he teased him within an inch of his life.

 

Yuu’s chosen meal for the day was low in protein. He would get tired long before the school day ended. Ortho should buy something for him to snack on later.

 

Ortho stood.

 

“Don’t fuckin’ leave me here,” Epel hissed. “This is your fault!”

 

Ortho sat back down and turned to look at Yuu.

 

“What do you know about ruts?”

 

“You couldn’t ‘a been a little more ambiguous?” Epel asked, beyond mortified.

 

He gave Ortho an offended, almost betrayed look, as if he was not the one who had demanded Ortho stay in the first place.

 

Yuu just looked confused. “Er… it’s like… periods, but for alphas, right?”

 

Ortho tilted his head to the side. “What is a ‘period’? I assume you are not speaking of punctuation marks.”

 

“Uh… heats, I mean,” Yuu said, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

Ortho considered this. He could think of many ways that the two differed, especially on a chemical level, but comparisons were often useful in helping humans understand new concepts. “I suppose it is similar, though less frequent.”

 

Yuu sighed. “So he’s gonna be all clingy for a few days?”

 

“I suppose that is one way to describe it,” said Ortho.

 

Epel was making cutting motions across his neck.

 

As if that threat meant anything to Ortho. He had long since uploaded his consciousness to a secure private network. He could not be killed in any way that mattered.

 

“A rut is a month-long period that occurs approximately once a year in which an alpha craves intimacy with their chosen partner or partners.”

 

Yuu seemed to be attempting complex mental math. It must be difficult, not having a built-in calculator.

 

“So… men – alphas… have… mating seasons?”

 

“Don’t compare us to animals,” Epel groaned, burying his head in his arms.

 

“What else am I supposed to compare it to?!” said Yuu.

 

“It is rather similar,” Ortho said. “Though, in nature, mating seasons are often related to the female estrous cycle.”

 

“... the fuck?” said Yuu.

 

“They happen when the female is fertile.”

 

Yuu’s face seemed to scrunch in on itself in sheer disgust.

 

Ortho flashed a thumbs-up. “Do not worry, though. The level of interest in mating behaviors is entirely dependent on the alpha in question.”

 

Yuu looked at Epel for a few seconds, thinking hard.

 

Epel smiled, somewhat nervously. “You trust me, right?”

 

Yuu turned to Ortho. “You’re my favorite.”

 

Epel’s mouth dropped open.

 

“It’s not like I can help it!” Epel said.

 

“Don’t care. Ortho’s normal. Therefore, he’s my favorite,” Yuu said, scooting closer to Ortho.

 

“He’s literally a robot,” said Epel.

 

Ortho rested his ‘cheek’ on Yuu’s shoulder and smiled at Epel. “I assure you, I am just as human as Yuu is… on a psychological level, at least. My brother has yet to make a ‘perfect’ human body for me, but he assures me that he is working on it.”

 

Epel’s eyes widened. Unfortunately for him, he was approximately 10.768 centimeters too short to reach Ortho from across the table. He was forced to settle for jabbing an accusatory finger his way.

 

“You did this on purpose, you dick!”

 

“You asked me to stay,” Ortho reminded him, serenely. “And, according to preexisting data, I am the optimal choice when it comes to teaching Yuu about the humans of this world, as he responds positively to ‘clinical’ explanations.”

 

“You planned this,” Epel said, his head in his hands.

 

“You sound insane,” Yuu said, flatly.

 

Epel made a strangled sound. As if he wanted to scream but refused to do so in public.

 

“I would suggest going to your dorm room, sooner rather than later,” Ortho said, politely. “Increased aggressiveness and possessiveness are symptomatic of your cycle. If you give in to them too much, it may come early.”

 

Yuu pressed a little closer to Ortho. “You’d shoot him for me, right?”

 

“If he tried to do something you did not want him to, of course,” Ortho said.

 

Yuu wrapped himself around one of his arms. “Sweet.”

 

The chemicals in the air shifted from what Ortho had learned to associate with mild annoyance to outright aggression.

 

Ortho smiled at Epel. “Your dorm room is in Pomefiore, in case you have forgotten.”

 

Epel made a quiet growling sound in the back of his throat.

 

He flipped Ortho off and then all but stomped away. Off toward his dorm, Ortho presumed. He had more than enough bandwidth to track his heat signature through the school, but he hardly found it necessary to do so. He was gone, that was all that really mattered.

 

Well, that and that he had left his tray behind. Ortho, quietly, pulled the tray closer to himself so he could pick up a small pudding cup that had been left unopened. He let it slip into one of the many compartments in his body.

 

There. Two problems solved at once.

 

“You should eat. Humans need sustenance.”

 

Yuu made a face. “Wait, does Ace get horny when he’s in heat, too?”

 

Ah. Ortho had been hoping that this particular question would come after Yuu had eaten.

 

“Not necessarily, no. Heats are more frequent than ruts, but less intense – whether this is because omegas have more opportunities to ‘get used to it’ or the fact that it is simply a different process is hotly debated in academic spheres. Heat is characterized by a need to be around those they care about. It is not necessarily romantic or sexual, but often is.”

 

Yuu considered this.

 

And then he groaned. “You’re definitely my favorite. At least you tell me things.”

 

Ortho smiled.

Notes:

I don't have enough serotonin to respond to comments rn so sorry about that but!! I read them all and appreciate them so much <3

Chapter 25: Sebek - Yuu's 'evil' plans are thwarted

Summary:

Inspired by this post

Sebek stared at the small assortment of items Yuu had dropped onto his desk.

 

They were tiny hair clips, decorated to look like important historical items from Briar Valley. A spinning wheel, a dragon, horns…

 

“Human, what is this?” Sebek asked, as quiet as he could be, picking up the closest one. It was fashioned in a way that resembled a rose, thorns and all.

 

Yuu smiled, cheekily.

 

“I think you’d look cute in them.” He tilted his head to the side. “Okay, well, maybe not cute… less scary, though.”

 

Now, those who didn’t know Yuu would assume that he was simply making fun of Sebek.

 

Sebek was sure this was partially true. However. Yuu’s choice to emphasize that it would make him look ‘less scary’ suggested it might also be a clumsy attempt at helping Sebek make friends.

 

Sebek didn’t need any help, but he could appreciate the effort.

 

“I WILL TREASURE THESE, THANK YOU,” Sebek said, sincerely.

 

Yuu opened and closed his mouth a few times. He glanced away, scratching the back of his neck. “Uh. Okay. I’m… glad you like them?”

 

Sebek clipped the rose pin into his hair. “Does this look alright?”

 

Yuu, hesitantly, shifted the placement of the pin, and then cleared his throat. “There. Better. I’m gonna – go to class.”

 

Sebek could admit that he was, privately, amused that Yuu had intended to embarrass him, only to end up embarrassed himself.

 

And his amusement only grew.

 

“Trying out something new, Sebek?” Ace teased the moment Sebek sat down at their cafeteria table.

 

“The red suits you,” said Ortho. “Probably. Fashion is entirely subjective, which makes it hard for me to accurately analyze such things. However, according to my research, red and green are often placed together.”

 

“Didn’t know you were capable of putting things that weren’t gel in your hair,” said Epel.

 

Yuu finally glanced up from his food to see what they were all talking about. He visibly paled, turning to hide his face in Jack’s shoulder. Jack looked slightly smug about this. Oh, if only he knew.

 

Well, Sebek supposed he could always TELL him:

 

“It would be a WASTE to let a GIFT go unused,” Sebek said.

 

“... gift,” repeated Deuce. “Who would give you a gift?”

 

Slowly, all eyes turned onto a very embarrassed Yuu.

 

“You gave him things? On purpose?!” said Ace, his eyes wide. Horrified. Flabbergasted, even.

 

“Yeah…” said Yuu.

 

“Why do you ask? Are you, perhaps, JEALOUS?” Sebek asked.

 

“No! I’m just…” Ace couldn’t seem to come up with a reasonable excuse for being upset.

 

Epel grabbed Yuu by the shoulders and started SHAKING him. “Stop making friends, I’m running out of beauty products I can add smells to.”

 

Yuu’s eyebrows knit. “This is the first beauty product you’d be making since VDC.”

 

“Because I do not have a scent!” Ortho reminded them, cheerfully.

 

“Not the point.”

 

“I agree,” said Grim. “No more friends for you.”

 

“Aw, baby, they’d never replace you,” Yuu said, scratching the monster behind the ears.

 

The monster narrowed its eyes at him. As if Grim knew that Yuu was flattering him, but also the scratches felt REALLY nice, and he was struggling to weigh those two things in his mind.

 

“Hey, I’m only sharing a soul with one person here.”

 

“Only ‘cause you don’t know how to,” said Jack.

 

Yuu’s eyebrows knit. “Wait, it’s possible to share a soul with random people?”

 

Jack grinned. “No. Well, yes, but only if you’re a twin. And, in that case, you’re born with it. However, you considered ‘cheating’ on Grim there for a moment, didn’t you?”

 

Grim made a valiant attempt at singeing Jack’s eyebrows off. He was thwarted by his own terrible depth perception.

 

“Well, lucky for all of you, there’s only, like, a month until school ends,” said Yuu, rolling his eyes. “There’s no way I’m going to make another –.”

 

“It’s like he’s trying to jinx it,” Deuce said.

 

“Statistically speaking, you have made five friends within eight months of school. That nets out to approximately one new friend every 1.6 months. We might be ‘in the clear’, here,” said Ortho.

 

A miscellaneous first-year wandered over. “Hey, Yuu, about the homework in Trein’s class –.”

 

Sebek had just enough time to notice that this person was an omega before their scent was practically SWALLOWED by the scent of AGGRESSION.

 

He cast a sidelong glance at the alphas in the group, a little wary. The aggression wasn’t pointed in his direction, but that hardly meant a thing to his stupid, puny hindbrain. If he hadn’t actively trained to ignore such things, he might have turned tail and ran.

 

Which is exactly what the poor omega did.

 

“Actually! It’s fine! See you later!”

 

They left with as much dignity as a person can have while actively running away. Which is to say: none at all.

 

Yuu looked at the three alphas in the group, his eyes narrowed. “Did you guys do something?”

 

“Whaaaaat?” said Jack, who was, apparently, not a good liar.

 

He was elbowed in the side by Epel. “Why do you think it was us?”

 

“Look at Ace. He’s the worst about stuff like this,” said Deuce.

 

“What the fuck, you guys are supposed to protect me,” Ace said.

 

“Ace did nothing,” said Sebek.

 

“Why is the beta better than you guys?!”

 

“Surprisingly,” Sebek added.

 

“What the fuck. Why does everyone always go for me?”

 

“According to my analysis, it is because ‘you are an asshole’,” said Ortho.

 

Ace pointed at Yuu. “He’s so much worse?”

 

Yuu shrugged. “I get to be an asshole. Someone stole me away from everything I’ve ever known and loved (probably). What’s your excuse?”

 

Ace didn’t seem to have a retort.

 

He sighed. “Some day that excuse is gonna run out.”

 

“But that day isn’t today, so who cares?”

Notes:

Yuu's attempts to be an asshole are thwarted by someone who just Does Not React and assumes he's also secretly being nice. Devastating for him, funny for me

Sebek getting caps instead of italics is probs only funny to me but it's my fic sooooo

Chapter 26: Lilia - This fic is NEVER passing the Bechdel Test

“Boys,” said Lilia. “We have a problem.”

 

“Oh please tell me you’re not, like, dying again,” Leona groaned. “If you are, give me a head start so I can run before we have to deal with yet another ‘natural disaster’.”

 

“What? No, I feel as spry as ever!” said Lilia. “... why, do I seem old to you?”

 

There was a slightly too-long silence.

 

Vil coughed into his hand, once. “What is the problem?”

 

Right!

 

“We need to do something about Yuu,” he said.

 

“Oh, but when I said that last month, I was crazy,” Idia muttered.

 

“You were,” said Azul. “Ortho is 16, he can legally make his own decisions.”

 

“Keep Yourself Safe,” Idia said.

 

“I try,” said Azul, but the intense side-eye leveled Idia’s way suggested he knew that Idia hadn’t said those words out of care.

 

“He does!” said Kalim, shooting Azul an approving thumbs up. “He’s  always very careful before eating anything he’s given!”

 

“Well, yes, Jade is prone to attempting to poison me.”

 

Kalim nodded sagely.

 

Lilia was tempted to let the two youths bond over their shared experience with treacherous viziers, but no. They could do that some other time.

 

He laid his hands flat on the table, like an army general about to relay his war plans to his loyal soldiers.

 

(Not that he had any experience in that, of course…)

 

“Have we considered that he might not be as magicless as he claims to be? Sebek told me he has an ‘off-putting charm’, could that be it?”

 

“That wouldn’t work on Ortho,” said Idia, though he seemed unsure.

 

Idia looked at the nearest security camera, which panned from side to side in a kind of ‘no’.

 

“If he has magic… he’d’ve gotten through seven Overblots without using it, even on accident,” said Kalim, frowning. “Is that even possible?”

 

“He does seem rather restrained,” Vil said. And then his nose scrunched. “Save for his clothing, of course.”

 

Idia scowled. “There’s no information about the guy anywhere. Even his stupid school records say that ‘Yuu’ isn’t his real name. Does anyone even know anything about him?”

 

There was a beat of silence.

 

“His neck is sensitive?” Riddle ventured, a little nervously.

 

Yet another pause. This one was longer.

 

Because, yes, the tidbit of information was interesting, and certainly did explain a few things about the boy… but was that really the only thing they knew about the teen that had waltzed into their lives with the sole goal of taking a sledgehammer to every plan they ever had the gall to construct within his precense?

 

Lilia looked at Leona. “You overhear things in your dorm, don’t you?”

 

“... he doesn’t really… talk about himself…” said Leona, haltingly, his nose scrunched in mild annoyance. “Most of the things I hear about him are rumors about how he’s a monster of some kind, but he doesn’t quite smell like one… doesn’t smell like anything, really, other than those ‘friends’ of his.”

 

“Friends,” scoffed Idia.

 

Leona shrugged, nonchalantly. “If they’re doing anything more than cuddling, then I’m thanking the Seven that I haven’t noticed it.”

 

“But who cuddles with their friends?” said Vil.

 

Lilia, as old – no, experienced! – as he was, had seen friends cuddle many times before. However, those people weren’t his comrade’s grandchild. His son's best friend. Even if Yuu and Sebek were mere friends, he was not particularly pleased at the idea of this going any further.

 

“Yuu says he’s not dating Ace and Deuce,” said Riddle.

 

How do you tell someone that someone they trusted had lied to their face in order to get the ‘privilege’ of continuing to sleep in the same dorm room as their partners?

 

Trick question! You don’t! You let them keep talking so the topic can change on its own!

 

“He’s dating Jack Howl, I believe. Which is for the best, he is rather reserved and well-behaved, from what I can tell,” Riddle said, nodding his approval. “He will be good for Yuu, I’m sure.”

 

"Or Yuu will be bad for him," said Vil, scowling.

 

Riddle looked horrified as it dawned on him that that was absolutely a possibility.

 

“I thought he was dating…” Kalim started, only to pause so he could silently count off on his fingers: “Jack, Ace, and Deuce. At least those three! I mean, they gave up their break to come and check on him!”

 

Azul shook his head. “He told me that he wasn’t dating any of them. And I can’t think of any reason why he would lie to me about that.”

 

“He probably thought you’d try to monetize it, Azul,” said Riddle.

 

Azul raised an eyebrow. “You think so low of me.”

 

From where he was hovering, Lilia got the perfect view of Azul’s notepad. He watched Azul write the words FIND A WAY TO MONETIZE THE WEIRD POLYCULE in all caps, and then underline it several times.

 

“Well, he’s obviously dating Epel,” said Vil.

 

Idia snorted.

 

Vil turned his head to glare at him. “Oh? Did you want to say something?”

 

Idia balked, briefly, before (with some difficulty) gathering the courage to say, “I’ve heard Ortho talk about how he’s Yuu’s favorite too much to think that Yuu’s turned around and dated Epel.”

 

“Aren’t you against Yuu dating Ortho?” Kalim asked, his eyebrows pinched in confusion.

 

Idia spluttered. “Of course! But he’s obviously the one Yuu’s into. He’d have to be stupid not to be.”

 

Vil glanced him up and down. Scoffed under his breath. Didn’t even deign that with a response.

 

Lilia cleared his throat. “Sorry, boys, but I’m pretty sure Sebek is the only one who has been given a courting gift.”

 

Six sets of eyes immediately turned onto Lilia.

 

“... on purpose?” said Kalim.

 

“Of course it was,” Lilia said. “How could it not be? Do you go around giving your ‘friends’ hairclips and telling them that they’ll look cute with them on?”

 

“We don’t have friends,” said Leona, scoffing. “I know you’re old and all, but we’re not three years old.”

 

Kalim frowned. Opened his mouth. Closed it.

 

Opened it again to say, “So… you think he’s dating all of them, too?”

 

“Oh, no, I think you guys are insane. They’re not dating. Don’t know if they’re just forever stuck in the ‘talking’ stage or what, but I would have – against my will – found out about it if they were in a relationship.”

 

Azul leaned back in his chair. Steepled his fingers beneath his chin like a D-list movie villain.

 

“How about… a wager, then?”

Chapter 27: Grim - Settling A Score

Grim hated study hall. Not because of the studying (Yuu had never once made him study, so Grim found he didn’t mind it), but rather because of all the noise. It had been especially bad the past few days.

 

And he would have tried to sleep through it, as he usually did, but everyone was talking about Yuu. Which meant Grim had to listen to all of it, because his human was unfortunately prone to getting in trouble even when people weren’t focusing on him.

 

So, he turned his ears toward the nearest group to make sure that they weren’t plotting anything against his beloved henchman.

 

They weren’t. The truth was far weirder than that:

 

“So… who did you bet on?”

 

“For who Yuu’s dating? Or the horse racing —?”

 

“Yuu’s boyfriend! Obviously!”

 

“Right… right… um… haven’t placed a bet yet, but he’s known Trappola and Spade the longest, it’s gotta be one of them.”

 

“He has two hands!”

 

“Oh, please, be real. Have you seen the way he follows Howl around like a lost puppy?”

 

“I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Felmier sit in his lap before. And look at how he treats that familiar of his — he’s totally into babying people.”

 

“The way our dorm head has been acting recently, it’s gotta be Ortho-san.”

 

No one said a word about Yuu possibly dating Sebek. Probably because of Sebek’s general reputation as ‘that annoying guy’. Grim didn’t particularly like Sebek himself (he didn’t like any of them, really… the things he did for Yuu…), but he couldn’t help but feel a little bad for the guy.

 

“Guys. What if he’s dating none of them? Like — no, no, hear me out here! What if he’s like one of those harem protags that’s too much of a coward to choose?”

 

“What if he’s stringing them all along…?”

 

“Come on. He’s obviously dating all of them.”

 

“This stupid bet is impossible… and what happens if they never tell anyone? Does Ashengrotto-senpai just keep all the money we wagered?”

 

Grim and Jack exchanged exasperated looks. Their… fellow associates hadn’t overheard any of this, so only they could commiserate over the sheer stupidity of the average Night Raven College student.

 

He needed comfort in these trying times.

 

Grim rested his chin on Yuu’s book, and his henchman smiled, immediately abandoning his useless studies in favor of dragging Grim into his lap and petting him.

 

“This is why you keep failing your classes,” said Sebek.

 

“Maybe you guys are just terrible tutors, have you ever considered that?” Yuu said, rolling his eyes.

 

“Nah,” said Epel.

 

“Hence why you’re shitty tutors,” Yuu sniffed.

 

“Maybe a break is in order,” Deuce said, a little desperately. “Too much studying might stress him out.”

 

“You’re so kind, Deuce,” Yuu said, sarcastically.

 

“I’m just looking out for you! If you aren’t responding to our teaching style, then…!”

 

Ortho leaned in. “He has a point. Is there another teaching style you would prefer for this particular subject, Yuu?”

 

Yuu smiled, bumping his shoulder against Ortho’s… ‘shoulder’. “Nah, I was just messing around.”

 

“Why’re you nice to him?” complained Ace, his chin in his hand.

 

“Because fuck you, that’s why.”

 

“Clever comeback,” Jack said.

 

“Thanks. I tried super hard on it.”

 

Grim watched Yuu bicker with his friends for just a few moments more, before his ears flicked to the side, where the argument over who Yuu was dating had taken an interesting turn:

 

“The dormheads have been hanging out around them more often recently, right?”

 

“But… Rosehearts-senpai wouldn’t bet on anything.”

 

“What’s the other explanation?”

 

“... you don’t think… what if he got the dormheads, too?”

 

“NO WAY.”

 

“Maybe that’s Ashengrotto-senpai’s trick…”

 

Hm…

 

“Hey, henchman, do you have a favorite friend?” Grim asked.

 

The entire room went deathly silent.

 

“‘Friend’,” a few people whispered.

 

“Does even his familiar not know?”

 

Grim bristled.

 

“He’s probably just trying to preserve his ‘baby’s’ innocence.”

 

Yuu glanced around, something between annoyance and amusement making his lips twitch back and forth.

 

“Seriously, do people here just never talk about things directly, or is this just a teenager thing?” Yuu huffed.

 

“Who is your favorite, then?” Ortho asked, politely.

 

“Suckup,” Ace muttered under his breath.

 

Yuu hummed thoughtfully. “Do I need to have a favorite?”

 

“YES,” said everyone.

 

“Fine. I choose… Grim.”

 

What did Grim do in his previous life to get such a nice henchman in this one?

 

Alas, not everyone appreciated his henchman as much as he did.

 

“You KNOW that is not what we meant,” Sebek said.

 

“Can you prove that?” Yuu said.

 

“I suppose not. However, if we tell you explicitly to choose between the five of us, then you have to do so,” Ortho said.

 

“... I’d rather not,” said Yuu.

 

“I bet he doesn’t even have a favorite,” said Jack.

 

“He just lets us fight to stroke his own ego,” Sebek agreed, his arms crossed over his chest.

 

Yuu hummed. “Oh, no, I definitely have a favorite.”

 

There was a beat.

 

“IT'S ME!”

 

Yuu, a master of pattern recognition, was quick to vacate the premises before a fight could begin. The fight would happen regardless of whether or not he was there, but Yuu didn’t need to get caught up in all of that…

 

Grim tugged on his shirt for his attention. “Who is your favorite?”

 

Yuu tilted his head to the side consideringly.

 

“Honestly? Depends on the day. But today it’s Epel.”

 

Grim nodded slowly. That made much more sense. He would have been able to tell, if Yuu had an outright favorite, he was pretty sure.

 

“Do you want to date any of them?”

 

Yuu blinked a few times. And then he smiled, a little bemused.

 

“Do you want me to date one of them?”

 

Grim shook his head, scowling. Yuu was his familiar, he barely tolerated his 'friends' (humans are social creatures, so Grim let him hang out with them for enrichment purposes), but if he dated someone… well, Grim might permanently lose his favorite spot on Yuu’s lap, let alone not getting to spend as much time with him because he would be busy going on dates! That would be tragic!

 

Yuu smiled. “Great! Because, to be honest, while all of them are attractive, none of them are meeting my standards right now — they’re not nice to my baby! I need a coparent that’ll make you happy, and they don’t do that.”

 

Grim nodded, once, shortly, sure of one thing: his henchman was perfect.

Chapter 28: Sebek - Getting an A+ in Being Normal

You see, their first mistake had been assuming that Yuu and Grim would be able to make a potion together without it literally blowing up in their faces. This was on them.

 

Yuu stumbled back, his face painted bright orange, his hair sticking up in wild directions. He groaned, rubbing at his eyes, trying to spit some of the excess potion out of his mouth.

 

“Are you okay?” Jack asked, walking over, his hand out to rest on Yuu’s shoulder…

 

Both Yuu and Jack went ramrod straight.

 

And then Yuu slipped on the wet floor and went crashing to the ground. He didn’t even try to save himself by throwing his arms out to cushion his fall, he just let it happen.

 

This was par for the course for him, Sebek supposed.

 

Except Jack DOVE after Yuu, with a strange kind of frantic energy, even though he had already hit the floor. And Yuu was frantically scooting away from him, his hands pressed over his mouth and nose, and the only part of him Sebek could see was his eyes.

 

They were wide with PANIC.

 

Jack was GONE. He had successfully grabbed hold of Yuu and dragged him into his lap, smoothing a hand over his head in an attempt to soothe him. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to be working, Yuu had curled in on himself, shaking so violently that even Jack seemed to be trembling a little in solidarity.

 

The potion shouldn’t have done much to Yuu – in fact, it shouldn’t have done anything at all. They were just making some scent patches. It wasn’t like Yuu had a scent to cover up in the first place.

 

But Jack was clearly stressed, and Ace and Deuce HAD mentioned that potions reacted weirdly to Yuu’s practically-alien biology, so Sebek approached just a little more warily.

 

“Jack, I’m sure he’s fine, just give him a little sp —,” Sebek said, only to cut himself off, his head snapping toward Yuu.

 

Because Yuu had a scent.

 

And it was SCREAMING. There wasn’t a word for the emotion, ‘fear’ and ‘panic’ didn’t quite cover it, it was the scent equivalent of an alarm blaring right next to your ear.

 

Sebek dug his fingernails into his palms to ground himself. Jack was already gone, and Grim was… Grim. Which meant he had to be the voice of reason here.

 

He, admittedly, should have been the voice or reason EARLIER, before Yuu and Grim had touched a cauldron, but it was better late than never, yes?

 

He pulled out his phone and texted the But He’s Our Idiot group chat.

 

It didn’t take long for their ‘friend group’ — as Yuu insisted they call it — to show up. And immediately attach themselves to Yuu.

 

Sebek groaned internally. Great. Somehow, he had made the problem worse.

 

His phone began to ring.

 

Oh, it was going to get WORSE worse…

 

He pinched the space between his brows, glaring at the name on his screen.

 

The phone picked up on its own.

 

He grimaced, bringing the phone to his ear. “Hello, Ortho —.”

 

“I left. For one week. What did I tell you before I left?”

 

“We shouldn’t let Yuu near potions while you’re gone…”

 

“And what did you do?”

 

“Let Yuu near a potion…” Sebek admitted.

 

Ortho sighed.

 

“He said he could handle it!”

 

“There is a test in Professor Trein’s class today. He was lying to you,” said Ortho, flatly.

 

“WHAT.”

 

He looked at Yuu, who had yet to calm down despite everyone’s attempts to scent him. In fact, he seemed MORE panicked, now.

 

Honestly, Sebek suspected he might just be OVERWHELMED.

 

Regardless of Yuu’s less-than-pure intentions, Sebek couldn't help but feel bad for him. He clearly hadn’t expected things to go quite THIS wrong, and it was hard to ignore the tears rolling down Yuu’s cheeks.

 

He shook his head.

 

“We can deal with it until you come back,” he said. “Bye, Ortho.”

 

“Wait, tell me what happened and what he is reacting to —.”

 

“Not right now.”

 

“BUT MY DATA —!”

 

Sebek hung up on him.

 

His phone picked up Ortho’s call once again.

 

Right.

 

By the time Sebek had managed to suitably relay the day’s events to Ortho, Yuu had calmed down… somewhat? Maybe? Grim had attached himself to the front of Yuu’s face and this had, somehow, gotten him to stop crying. Which was a win. Unless Yuu was just too dehydrated to cry, which would be Bad.

 

He knelt in front of Yuu, squinting at his face for a moment.

 

Yuu sniffled quietly.

 

Sebek sighed.

 

“I suppose I have no other options. I will take him back to my room,” said Sebek.

 

None of the alphas were particularly lucid enough to speak, but the disapproval, anger, and betrayal was PALPABLE.

 

“He is, likely, overstimulated by his new senses, and perhaps in pain as well,” Sebek said, flatly. “My room is the most neutral place we have.”

 

Ace teared up, his scent flaring. “Wait, can’t I come, at least —?”

 

“No,” said Sebek.

 

He reached his hands out for Yuu, who DID make an attempt to reach for him, only to get nearly SUFFOCATED by the alphas surrounding him.

 

Sebek couldn't STAND alphas and omegas sometimes. They were practically slaves to their instincts, particularly in comparison to him.

 

It was exhausting. He was sure it was even worse for Yuu, who wasn't at all used to it.

 

So, he detached Yuu from the cuddle pile and dragged him off to Diasomnia.

 

Oh. He should probably tell their professors...

 

He dialed Crewel’s number, trying not to feel awkward about it.

 

Crewel picked up before he could truly regret his actions.

 

“Hello?”

 

Sebek cleared his throat. “Yuu —.”

 

“Just. Take the day off,” said Crewel, not even waiting to hear what had happened this time. “Goodbye.”

 

The phone clicked. He had been hung up on.

 

He looked at Yuu, who had finally removed Grim from his face. He was still hugging the monster for comfort, but the distinct lack of people crowding in on him seemed to be helping.

 

Good. Sebek had been guessing as to what was wrong with him. It was an EDUCATED guess, sure, but it was still a guess.

 

“Better?” he asked, just to be sure.

 

“Yeah… sorry about… it’s just… a lot, I guess,” he said, his voice shaking. “It doesn’t… hurt, really, it’s just… too much.”

 

Sebek frowned. “You’re in pain, though.”

 

“Huh? Oh. Yeah. The headache is a constant problem. I don’t think hu — I’m not really made to be processing this many smells at once. Sucks ass, but what can you do,” Yuu said, trying for a smile.

 

“Perhaps that explains your less-than-chivalrous behavior,” Sebek murmured. He might be more prone to ruining people’s days if he was suffering from a constant headache.

 

Yuu snorted. “I mean. Maybe?”

 

A laugh! Improvement!

 

Sebek, carefully, reached a hand out and ruffled Yuu’s hair. Yuu’s shoulders trembled, briefly, before he seemed to steel himself enough to flash a smile Sebek’s way.

 

It wasn’t particularly convincing. Yuu had no control over his scent, and therefore couldn't hide his discomfort.

 

Okay. No scenting. Perhaps Yuu could do with a shower, too, to return himself to neutral scents.

 

For now, though, all Sebek could do was distract him:

 

“I’ve SEEN your world, you know, thanks to your dream. That place is WAY more overstimulating.”

 

“That’s not the same at all. The smell of pollution doesn’t really change, you get used to it. It’s hard to get used to smells that change constantly.”

 

“... what’s pollution?” Sebek said, a little embarrassed at the prospect of Yuu knowing something he didn’t.

 

“Not a thing here,” Yuu said, waving a hand, vaguely. “Hard to stuff the ocean full of trash and chemicals when you know mermen are living there, hard to pollute the air when your noses are so sensitive. What do you guys even do with your trash?”

 

“Recycle it for mana? Obviously?” said Sebek.

 

“Obviously,” said Yuu, sarcastically.

 

Sebek opened the door to his room, and tried not to grimace at the sight of the comforter he had left in disarray that morning. Embarrassing…

 

He cleared his throat.

 

“You may take a shower. I will get a fire going in the meantime. Do you want tea?”

 

Yuu sent him a smile, his scent curling with something that could only be described as fondness. After a few seconds' thought, he leaned to press a quick kiss to Sebek’s cheek.

 

“Didn’t know you could be nice,” he teased, lightly.

 

“I’m always nice,” Sebek said, mildly offended.

 

“Mhmm… tea would be great, thanks.”

Chapter 29: Jack - Upsidaisy

Jack was, apparently, the most trustworthy person in the group, and therefore it was decided that he should be the person to help Yuu acclimate to scents again.

 

He was going to ride this high for the next several weeks. He was getting a good grade in being Yuu’s 'friend'. Hell yeah.

 

But he paused in the doorway to Sebek’s room.

 

Yuu laid there, curled up on the bed, in a cocoon of blankets. Wearing Sebek’s clothes. Smelling distinctly floral.

 

And, while some of the floral scent seemed to be Yuu’s own – he was a beta, apparently – Jack recognized that the large majority of it was not Yuu’s.

 

He shared an exasperated look with Grim, but then rolled his eyes when the monster went back to bunting against Yuu’s chest, trying to rub his own scent onto Yuu. But at least the monster was a monster. They weren’t exactly known for being complex. Most of them couldn't beat toddlers when it came to intelligence and maturity.

 

Sebek, though? He had no excuse.

 

He looked at Sebek, who was very determined to avoid his eyes. No guesses as to why.

 

“So glad you took him to a ‘neutral space’,” Jack said, sarcastically.

 

“We slept in the same bed, it is only natural that my scent might rub off on him,” Sebek said, tending to the fireplace in his room with the kind of determination he usually only reserved for his horse.

 

“Sure. A little. But that is not a little bit of scenting,” Jack said, crossing his arms over his chest. He wanted to let his scent flare, just a peek of aggression to make Sebek stop lying to his face, but he needed to be mindful of Yuu…

 

Sebek flushed red. “I MAY have gone a little haywire when I realized that my scent was sticking to him.”

 

“Scents stick to him now?” Jack said.

 

“JACK,” Sebek said.

 

Jack gritted his teeth, forcing his tail to stop wagging. Snitch.

 

“You PROMISED to behave,” Sebek reminded him. “For Yuu’s sake.”

 

The world was so unfair. Why did Jack have to have a moral code? This was killing him.

 

Jack crossed his arms over his chest. “Whatever. Feeling any better, Yuu?”

 

“Smelly,” Yuu huffed. He didn’t seem to have enough energy to glare at Jack, but his scent said he was glaring at him.

 

Jack tried not to be too offended.

 

It didn’t work.

 

“You are covered in Sebek’s scent right now.”

 

Yuu huffed. “He smells… pretty close to what people smell like back home. Like… when someone wears too much perfume. Like, you notice, but it’s still tolerable.”

 

There was a beat. Sebek and Jack exchanged glances.

 

“What’s perfume?” Jack asked.

 

Yuu blinked a few times. And then shrugged. “Because people in my world don’t really… smell, we like to make ourselves smell like… I dunno. Flowers. Fruits. Whatever Sandalwood Is. Because they’re nice smells.”

 

Jack tilted his head to the side. “So… you want to be like us, then?”

 

“No. You smell too much. Being around you is like… have you ever had a really bad headache? The ones where looking at any kind of light hurts?”

 

Thanks to the time Yuu had convinced Jack to drink, he could admit that he had, in fact, had to deal with one of those kinds of headaches.

 

“Well. You’re the lights in this analogy,” Yuu said, giving a vague shrug. “It sucks.”

 

Now he felt bad…

 

“Sorry.”

 

“You can’t help it,” Yuu shrugged. “And I hang out with you guys because I want to, y’know. It’s my choice.”

 

Jack’s tail was ratting him out again, if Grim and Sebek’s scowls meant anything.

 

But he let it, this time.

 

He leaned against the wall. “So, you used to me, yet?”

 

“Mmmm, yeah, more or less. You can take another step or two inside,” Yuu said, after a moment’s thought.

 

Jack mulled this over, casting a sidelong glance at the door he had left open. It would let air filter in and out. This way, the smells shouldn’t get too overwhelming for Yuu, since they shouldn’t linger quite as much.

 

But Jack was, really, a private person. And the open door allowed for other scents to get in. He much preferred the idea of getting Yuu used to him (and, maybe, the other people in their ‘friend group’, if he was feeling particularly generous that day). They could get him reacclimated to society later; the status quo was extremely important to him right now.

 

Jack closed the door behind himself.

 

Yuu’s scent shifted, immediately, to anxiety.

 

Jack grimaced, immediately pushing as much I’m sorry, I’m trying to help, I’ll keep you safe out into the world before he could think better of it.

 

But, for once, the shift in his scent didn’t earn a vague grimace or make Yuu’s shoulders hike up higher.

 

Instead, Yuu seemed to relax a little.

 

Jack didn’t remember moving. One moment, he was standing in the doorway. The next, he was laying in bed behind Yuu, an arm wrapped firmly around Yuu’s waist, the other trying to help him settle down.

 

He tucked his face into Yuu’s neck, pressing against his scent glands, and could only give a vague whine when he couldn’t stimulate his scent. It was very… consistent, sticking to Yuu’s skin like sweat.

 

Yuu was trembling again.

 

His fingernails dug crescents into the skin of Jack’s arms. Or maybe that was his monster? Grim had always been a possessive little shit.

 

Somewhere, distantly, he thought he wasn’t supposed to be doing this.

 

Probably because Sebek was telling him so.

 

Ugh, Sebek, Jack thought.

 

The feeling was mutual.

 

“Oh, Sevens,” Sebek groaned. “You were doing SO well.”

 

Jack didn’t even look up at him, too busy running his fingers through Yuu’s hair. Clearly Yuu was upset about the floral scent that wouldn’t stop sticking to him. Because Jack was, certainly, irritated by it.

 

“He’s ‘gone’, isn’t he?” Yuu said.

 

He didn’t sound irritated or upset, but Jack could smell Yuu’s frustration.

 

“Mhmm. It’s a good thing I’m a beta. He’d go to WAR if I was an alpha,” Sebek said, somewhere between amused and exasperated.

 

“Glad someone finds this funny,” Yuu said, flatly.

 

“Hey, I’m trying to help,” Sebek said.

 

“Are you really, though?” Yuu said.

 

“Yep,” said Sebek. The bed creaked, just slightly, as Sebek sat down, far too close for comfort.

 

Jack growled, lifting his head just enough to glare at him.

 

Sebek rolled his eyes, once. If his grip hadn’t, briefly, tightened on the blankets in his lap, Jack might think he was truly unaffected.

 

Sebek sighed and tipped his head back in a show of deference.

 

Jack didn’t particularly like the attitude he was receiving for trying to keep Yuu happy and healthy, but whatever.

 

“Jack,” said Sebek, his voice as careful and soft as he could make it. “I need to put a blanket on you two. Can you wrap your arms around his waist, instead?”

 

Mmmm. A blanket would be nice. Diasomnia was always way too cold, and Yuu probably wasn’t as used to it as Jack was.

 

But why would the blanket require him to change positions? This was a perfectly nice position, thank you very much.

 

He tried to voice this question, but all that came out was a vaguely confused-sounding grunt.

 

Sebek’s lips twitched in amusement.

 

Jack flushed. It was… a little embarrassing, being this lost to his instincts at his age, but can you blame him? His Yuu was suffering, here.

 

“We’re getting him used to scents. Do you remember that?” Sebek asked.

 

Jack’s eyebrows furrowed. It sounded… vaguely familiar? He nodded, slightly.

 

“Thank the Sevens,” Sebek muttered under his breath, his scent unwavering despite the sudden change in tone.

 

Jack narrowed his eyes at him. Deciever.

 

Sebek flashed a smile. “Glad you remember. Now, with your scent glands this close to Yuu, it’s making it difficult for him to acclimate. So, I want to mute your scent a little. Is that okay?”

 

Jack scowled. Sebek just wanted to keep his scent on Yuu.

 

Sebek pinched the bridge of his nose, irritation beginning to leak past his defenses despite his best efforts. “You can still scent his torso, okay?”

 

“What?!” said Yuu.

 

“Listen, do you want all of his scenting this close to your nose? Because you’re uncomfortable with that. This is a solution.”

 

“They’re both uncomfortable,” Yuu said.

 

“Then choose which is worse,” Sebek shrugged. “Because, I’m going to be honest, it’s either that or I fight him to get him off of you.”

 

“Why didn’t you say that one first?!”

 

“Because it’ll make things way worse for him. And I assume that, because you value your ‘friendship’, or whatever, you don’t want to do that to him,” said Sebek.

 

Yuu was quiet for a moment. Thinking.

 

And then he interlaced his fingers with Jack’s. Dragged his hands to a place he had, seemingly, precisely decided on for the sake of keeping things ‘normal’.

 

Jack nuzzled his face deeper into Yuu’s neck. If Yuu wanted his hands there, then it was fine. This was supposed to be helping him, after all.

 

Sebek set a blanket over them, tucking them in very tightly, until only Jack’s head was poking out.

 

The blanket wasn’t scented (yet), so Jack didn’t mind this.

 

What he did mind was Sebek lying down on Yuu’s other side. He didn’t touch Yuu, but that was only thanks to the blanket. He was far too close.

 

Jack narrowed his eyes at him.

 

But Yuu’s scent seemed to relax, slightly, now that he was there…

 

“I help him calm down,” Sebek said, his scent verging on smug. “You want to help him, right?”

 

Jack ground his teeth together.

 

And then he tucked his face, firmly, back into the crook of Yuu’s neck, grumbling under his breath.

 

“Y’know, you guys fighting over me is way less funny when I have to suffer ‘cause of it…”

Notes:

I'm about to hit 100 user subs and idk what to do to celebrate. I've been joking with my friends about writing one (1) smut fic, but I genuinely have no idea. Helpppp

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of On being normal