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The first time they kissed, it felt like an accident.
Cheong Myeong was overcome with emotions. It felt so normal and inevitable in the moment. He didn’t know what he had done until he was suddenly all too aware that he was draped over Dang Bo’s lap. His breath panted out harshly against warm, unmoving lips.
Dang Bo’s eyes were wide— too wide, too stunned, and too surprised. Fear rooted itself in Cheong Myeong’s stomach, grabbing hold of him abruptly as he blinked down at Dang Bo. Dang Bo, who was sitting unresponsive, his entire body frozen as if he couldn't move a single muscle.
Cheong Myeong had a single thought: I just fucked up. Majorly.
If there was anyone who knew the Dang Clan, then it was Cheong Myeong. He understood many intricate inner secrets that other Dang family members were completely unaware of. Cheong Myeong was wholly aware that Dang Bo was renowned, and was expected to produce heirs.
Cheong Myeong knew that this was a mistake. It had to remain as a mistake. He… He was simply misguided. He was going to ruin Dang Bo’s standing in the family if he didn’t correct this.
He knew that he had a different and softer take on life than many others got the chance to experience. Cheong Myeong grew up very loved and cared for by Cheong Mun-sahyeong. Without his sahyeong, Cheong Myeong would have abandoned Mount Hua. Cheong Mun gave him freedom that no other sect would have allowed.
Cheong Myeong would never understand the familial duties that people like Dang Bo had. The Dang Family was only so great because of their rules. Dang Bo detested the stuffy elders but he still listened to many of the guidelines.
Dang Bo was supposed to marry one day. He was to have a wife and produce at least one heir, if not more. Dang Bo could not afford to have a mistaken fling with a martial artist who would never leave his sect to join the Dang Clan.
Dang Bo’s hands shook where they gripped Cheong Myeong’s thighs. Cheong Myeong knew it had to be out of rage, or maybe realization that he did something he shouldn’t have. Dang Bo loved his family dearly. He would never betray them like this.
As Cheong Myeong sat on Dang Bo’s lap, he had the realization that he didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t want to fix this in the first place, so perhaps that was why his mind was coming to a blank.
He wanted everything Dang Bo would give him. Even if later on, Dang Bo thought of them as a mistake, Cheong Myeong needed this. He wanted to be wanted even if it was for a short time. He wanted to be a mistake that would never leave Dang Bo’s lingering thoughts or dreams even as he lived a life with another person.
“I…”
Cheong Myeong couldn’t form a sentence. He could only feel how warm Dang Bo’s body was under him, and how strong his hands were on his legs. It shouldn’t have been so electrifying to be sitting like this. It was something he knew Dang Bo would view as a mistake, yet Cheong Myeong didn’t move.
He was upset with himself. He wanted to beat his own head in. He shouldn’t have kissed Dang Bo. And he definitely shouldn’t be thinking about kissing him again.
Cheong Myeong berated himself inside his head. He was such a screw-up. He couldn’t even handle having one friend, his closest friend, remain as that. What was he going to do the next time Cheong Jin teased him about being a recluse? It was going to be true if Cheong Myeong couldn’t force himself to interact with Dang Bo.
However, as Cheong Myeong internally panicked over his ethics and morals as a person, Dang Bo swallowed roughly. His tongue peaked out from his lips, as if his entire mouth was dry. He licked his lip slowly, his pupils blown wide as he looked at the Plum Blossom Sword Saint.
He was not the Dark Saint when he was with Cheong Myeong. Neither of them were grand martial artists when it was just the two of them alone. There was no need to put on air or have a battle of wills.
Cheong Myeong sat on him, his eyes practically glazed over as he overthought what had happened.
Was it so bad that Dang Bo wanted more? He knew that Cheong Myeong must want more. Why else would they have kissed in the first place? Maybe Dang Bo was projecting his own thoughts onto his hyeong-nim.
Cheong Myeong’s cheeks became dusted in pink. It wasn’t from the kiss, Dang Bo knew, but rather from embarrassment. The daoist in front of him was so odd in the weirdest ways. The idiot’s body probably moved before his mind caught up. It was only now that Cheong Myeong understood what he did.
A kiss was important, no? Dang Bo knew that some daoists started families, but it was practically unheard of for Mount Hua disciples. Since Cheong Myeong grew up in the sect, he wasn’t as exposed to what the average person did.
Dang Bo wanted to know what thoughts swirled in Cheong Myeong’s head. Was Cheong Myeong envisioning the next step, just as Dang Bo had repeatedly for years? Or, was it something worse like regretting the entire affair?
“Hyeong-nim,” he ventured out calmly, voice even.
It took all of his restraint not to dive back in. He wasn’t sure what he preferred: pushing Cheong Myeong down and kissing him to death or remaining in this position and letting Cheong Myeong swallow him whole. Both sounded nice and tempting.
Dang Bo’s muscles shook as he forced his body to comply with his mind. He wanted, oh how he wanted, to ravish Cheong Myeong. However, he also knew that Cheong Myeong didn’t know what he was doing. Cheong Mun sheltered the imoogi the best he could.
Cheong Myeong sat on him awkwardly, unmoving. He was frozen in time, breathing out unevenly against Dang Bo’s face. With every puff of air that hit him, Dang Bo craved more.
“Hyeong-nim,” he repeated, shifting his gaze to match Cheong Myeong’s, “why did you stop?”
Dang Bo had to know. Wouldn’t it have been better to continue? Dang Bo was so close to Cheong Myeong’s face. He wanted to kiss those delectable lips and bite at his neck. He wanted to let the world know that Cheong Myeong was his. He wanted everyone to be aware that his one-sided feelings were no longer one-sided.
Through the years, Dang Bo had been teased ruthlessly. Cheong Jin seemed like a nice kid, but he was an absolute brat. Cheong Mun pretended to be all high and mighty as well, but even he made a few comments every now and then that would go over Cheong Myeong’s head.
Dang Bo was even teased by kids like Ah-Pyeong. How were children able to tell his feelings while Cheong Myeong was oblivious to it all??? It made the great Dark Saint want to curl up and die, sometimes.
“I—” Cheong Myeong’s throat bobbed. “You have a duty to your family.”
Plum blossom-colored eyes looked at him like it was an obvious thing. Dang Bo blinked, confusion and realization hitting him all at once. His cunning, smart hyeong-nim could be a bit dumb at times, huh? Good to know.
Dang Bo steeled his resolve, spread out his fingers across Cheong Myeong’s thighs, and then changed their positions. Cheong Myeong let it happen with wide eyes, his lips parted in surprise. Dang Bo fell in the gap of Cheong Myeong’s legs, his hands still gripping his hyeong-nim for salvation.
Dang Bo’s hair cascaded down, casting a shadow upon Cheong Myeong’s face. Dang Bo dipped his head down, staring at his hyeong-nim from a higher position. Cheong Myeong’s nape was pink, just as red as his ears and chest.
Below him, Cheong Myeong didn’t look like the Plum Blossom Sword Saint. His hair was laid across the floor in curls. Alcohol bottles had tipped over, leaking out quickly. The clear liquor danced across the floorboards and dampened Cheong Myeong’s dark locks.
“Bo-ya.” A man whose voice never wavered, had an edge of nervousness in it.
Dang Bo moved his hands, which were gripping Cheong Myeong’s thighs, down to his pelvis before settling on either side of his hips. He bit his lip as he tried to come up with an explanation, yet nothing came to mind.
All Dang Bo knew was that he adored the bastard laid out before him. It was an awful thing but he couldn’t help it. He wanted his great hyeong-nim to be his. It wasn’t a bad idea to finally let his feelings show now, was it?
He was on his knees like he was praying to a higher being, a higher being who was the clear sky on a bright sunny day.
Dang Bo exhaled shakily. All he ever wanted was right in front of him. He couldn’t mess this up.
“My family is aware that my heart lies elsewhere.”
Cheong Myeong’s brow furrowed, his face scrunching up. Dang Bo let out an exhausted sigh. It was true even now that Cheong Myeong was unaware of how he felt. Dang Bo was by no means a good actor. Everyone knew his feelings, it was almost absurd.
“So…” Cheong Myeong's lips were pursed as he thought it over. “What you’re saying is—”
“I will literally sob if hyeong-nim doesn't let me kiss him.” There. It showed just how desperate Dang Bo was.
Cheong Myeong’s pupils went wide, and then the next thing Dang Bo knew, his robes were being jerked down. Cheong Myeong’s hands were hot and harsh, demanding and selfish. It was the greatest feeling in the world, only second to what happened next.
The second time they kissed, it was very much so on purpose.
“You’re such a brat,” he exhaled across Dang Bo’s lips. His voice was clouded in glee.
Dang Bo smiled right back, pressing another kiss to Cheong Myeong’s lips. All of these years of pining were certainly worth it.