Work Text:
Wen Qing was born to heal. But, that’s never the real reason though— moreso, she was trained to heal. She studied countless scrolls, and papers. Experimented on others, on herself. All that to even get to where she was, to this level of expertise.
It was NEVER just to heal people. It was to SAVE people from leaving the mortal realm, to not let any family be torn apart by the node of death. To lose a loved one would be an attack on everything she stood for.
At one point, she wanted her little brother to be in her place as a healer— but she knew that, although her baby brother was of sound mind, he wasn’t able to cope with the feelings of grief and death faster than she did.
Healing was an art that had the potential to mitigate disasters and bring back what wasn’t meant to be.
“Qing-er, you’re so gentle with me.” Jiang Yanli muttered, her voice as faint as the sun in spring, like a lake full of those lotus flowers that surrounded the pier, like a love meant to be lost. Yanli tilted her head in that seemingly aloof way.
But, Wen Qing knew not to underestimate the intelligence of the eldest daughter of the Violet Spider. An Eldest daughter has seen the better and worst parts of their lives, just to see it not be given to their younger kin. To Wen Qing, it was her younger brother’s avoidance of their sect leader, to not be in his line of sight. To Jiang Yanli, it was the prospect of freedom, for she was to be married once the Jin Heir could make up his mind.
Wen Qing never really processed how it happened. Sect Leader Jiang saved Wen Qing’s family and Wen Qing was assigned as Jiang Yanli’s personal doctor from then on.
The young doctor underestimated greatly how many times Yanli gets hurt, Wen Qing thought that the sheltered, dainty, and princess-like daughter would’ve had servants orbiting around her keeping her safe and alive. But of course, one forgets that Yanli was and still is a Jiang Clan Member, by name and blood. Adventurous, reckless, and inherently freedom-seeking in nature.
Jiang Yanli leaned over, carefully placing her forehead on the other girl’s on a whim, causing the latter to snap out of her dazed state and continued putting balm on Yanli’s hands.
“What do you think of Jin-Gongzi?”
That question ultimately woke Wen Qing up. She looked up at Yanli’s softened gaze, the same eyes glancing towards the window every few seconds, hoping, and waiting, for someone else who shines like the gold in her eyes.
Wen Qing shook her head, as she continued patting Yanli’s bruised wrist. “He doesn’t have much relevance in my life, so what should I say about him?” Yanli proceeded to chuckle at the blunt response, simultaneously making Wen Qing’s heart whirl and twirl around in her chest.
“He’s sweet underneath that arrogant facade that he puts on, I get it.” Yanli’s words were affectionate by the minute, Wen Qing thought she’d have a say until Yanli continued talking,
“If I had a father like him? I’d hide and lock away my emotions too, it’s not a good place to be vulnerable— Jinlintai I mean.” Wen Qing merely hummed in response.
She has always wondered that Jin Zixuan’s stupidity and unwillingness to ask the prettiest (to her at least) sect daughter out was a hindrance or a liability and that he could never capture Yanli’s eye— but he inexplicably did.
And that disgusts her, in a way she doesn’t comprehend.
Why does he get HER attention?
I have wasted my days checking her health,
Talking about feelings,
Opening up about vulnerabilities—and HE gets her?
Wen Qing subconsciously grits her teeth, Yanli was fixing her lavender robes before lifting her gaze towards her friend, noticing she was tensing up a bit. Wen Qing’s demeanor was off, her shoulders were hunched, Yanli felt like her presence was no longer needed anymore, her friend was a doctor after all, busy as always.
”I’ll be off now, Qing-er.”
Wen Qing understandably panicked, her body moving faster than her mind and grabbed the other girl’s wrist and blurted out,
”Why do you like him?”
Silent, but not quite. It was filled with the whispers of the breeze, the sound of the lake, the boats and kayaks hitting the dock’s wooden post.
“Do I like Jin-Gongzi…?”
“Mhm, that’s… what I was asking,”
Yanli took a few seconds to finalize her answer. ”Yes, I do.” Stab to the heart, metaphorically. “He’s awkward, needs some help with social relationships, and speaks before he thinks, but— somewhere deep inside is a heart that wants to love and be loved and cared for.”
He shouldn’t need to be cared for. You don’t have to be his mother, his caretaker, his friend even. You shouldn’t waste your TIME with him.
Please, please, please—
You do not need to lower yourself because of his unintentional incompetence.
”Oh, that’s surprising, but it’s a reasonable answer.” Wen Qing says. All these thoughts were just that, thoughts. She can never change the mind of the heart, that’s what was so infuriating as a healer. You can heal wounds, injuries, diseases, but you can never heal something psychological.
But Wen Qing could do nothing but let go. Yanli began to walk away, from her, from her healer’s personal sanctuary. Yanli had the idea to look back and throw the nearly forgotten gift to her friend, an unspoken ritual they have chosen to accept.
To receive happiness and to give happiness back. In a form of healing and material gifts.
”For my favorite person.” The Lotus Flower says.
Favorite.
But never hers.
Wen Qing held the gift to her chest as she silently wept.
END.