Work Text:
Inspired by this SamBucky art on twitter
Coughing up ash and dirt, Bucky pulled himself out of the wreckage as the dust puffed up, hanging in the air around him. He could feel the particles in the air sticking to the sweat of his face. It's times like this when he's glad he cut his hair.
He gave himself a once over as he trudged out of the debris. Flesh arm. Good. Metal arm. Great. No severe bodily injuries? Excellent.
God almighty Bucky was relieved. The breath in his lungs felt good even if right now, the air was filled with smoke. He liked feeling relieved. He spent too long not fearing death. Too long being used like a tool to be discarded. To the point where he started believing it himself. He believed he wasn't worthy of happiness, of anything other than the life he had been forced into. That his life wasn't worth being protective of.
But not anymore. His renewed sense of self, his new lust for being alive. It was addictive. The adrenaline he got from wanting to live was something he hadn't felt in years. An entire lifetime for some people. Of course everything in his head isn't all sunshine and roses but he's on the right path. Finally.
And now he got to return to the person he wants to live for.
"Buck! Holy shit-"
Sam all but flew into his waiting arms. He only just got them up before Sam wrapped his arms around him. Bucky leaned into the embrace and breathed him in, clutching any part of his suit he could get a firm grip on. Sam held him just as tightly, sighing into his shoulder before pulling back just far enough to press their foreheads together.
Bucky held the back of his neck with his vibranium hand, his other hand sliding down from Sam's shoulder, staring into his eyes. The cracked goggles couldn't hide those beautiful brown eyes from Bucky, not when he has them committed to memory. Not when they have a hold on him whenever he's blessed enough to be under their gaze.
"God...I'm really glad you're okay Buck--" Sam cupped his face with both hands, Bucky titling his head into one of the warm palms. It would be so perfect to kiss him right now. It's all he could think about. He felt somewhere inbetween entranced by his everything and desperate for his attention. He didn't notice he was gritting his teeth.
All Bucky wanted was to to kiss him, to be kissed by him. To stay in this moment. Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me...
Sam's lovely voice cracked, relief so palpable in every word. "I dunno what I'd do if I lost another friend."
Friend?
Sam pulled him back in for another hug while Bucky stared over his shoulder, his soul hovering somewhere above him.
Friend?!
The aircraft trip off-site was probably the usual level of quiet for Sam but Bucky's silence stemmed from a new place this time. He sat with his elbows on his knees, fingers interlocked leaning forward with his mouth pressed into his knuckles.
Out of all the ways Bucky's had the rug pulled out from underneath him emotionally throughout his life, this was up there.
Did Bucky imagine their relationship? The longing gazes, the stolen glances, the forehead touches, the lingering hands on their shoulder or backs, the long nights just enjoying each other's company? Is he going insane for thinking all that was romantic? Was it all in his head?
Bucky had gotten himself in trouble in the past for seeing romance where there was none but he admits he was young and stupid back then. Mistaking friendliness for flirtation.
No, Bucky's struggling to wrap his head around this one. Because what the hell does he mean friend? What kinda friends does Sam have?
Sure they never verbalized anything but when a man does all the things for you like Sam has done for Bucky, treats you the way Sam treats Bucky, he's obviously gonna read that a specific way isn't he?
Even now, they were sitting across from each other and Sam was leaning back with his legs stretched out, slotted into Bucky's. Their knees and thighs brushed with every bump of turbulence. Every slight shift in movement from either man caused a tantalizing tension. For Bucky anyway. All Sam had to do was sit up properly and their legs would not be touching at all. And yet...
"You doin alright?" Sam's voice interrupted his lamenting. There he goes again with that soft, loving tone that apparently means nothing. Sam had his goggles off and tilted his head a little.
Bucky moved so his jaw was leaning on his knuckles instead and gave a thin lipped smile. "Yeah, good. Just tired." Lying was easy enough to pull off when he wanted to. Sam wouldn't pry after a tense mission like that.
Sam nudged Bucky's leg with his own. "Don't pass out on me before we get you checked out, I need you y'know?" Sam gave him a sweet grin in his apparently totally platonic way.
Bucky swore he felt his brain twitch, managing to force out a "Mhmm." And a tired smile. Ignoring the swell in his chest at the words I need you.
Bucky loves their friendship, he cherishes it. He never thought he'd feel this close to anyone again. Someone he trusts completely and would do anything for in a heartbeat. Sam is honest and open and earnest. He makes Bucky feel trusted and valued. He's always learning and trying to be better, trying to be more considerate, more empathetic. He's inspiring. That only scratches the surface of how Bucky feels about him.
But Bucky wants to kiss him. All the time. He wants to romance him and sweep him off his feet. Emotionally. He'd probably hate literal sweeping. Bucky considered it anyway.
He wants to surprise Sam, to care for him. He wants to wake up next to him and savour just laying there beside him. He wants to be apart of his life, his family's lives. He wants to spend every day showing Sam how important he is to him.
He's a romantic. Always has been. Just hasn't had many opportunities to be one in the past several decades. Maybe it's time to be more obvious.
Bucky got checked out at the med bay and other than some minor smoke inhalation, he was all clear, no real surprise there. But Sam insisted like the good, doting, compassionate friend he is.
When they parted ways, Sam gave him a pat on his right arm. "Same time, same spot Friday?" He was referring to their usual lunch meetups that were meetups and not lunch dates, like how Bucky had been treating them in his head. Bucky said "Of course" and headed home.
He took the long way home to think about how he was gonna spend the next fifty hours or so until he saw Sam again.
One thing for sure, he's not gonna wallow, and he absolutely refuses to pine for something unrequited. Not again. Been there done that, to death and back again.
He's just gonna be upfront. Lay it all out on the table for Sam to make whatever choice he's gonna make. If Sam truly just sees him as a friend, Bucky can learn to live with that. He'll get past it eventually. But he'll be damned if he's not gonna give the other option a go first.
Friday arrived and he left his home a little earlier to pick something up. The biggest, most obnoxiously beautiful bouquet of roses he could find at eleven AM on a Friday. When he found a suitable one with a mixture of red and pink roses, he scooped it up. The woman he assumed was the florist approaches soon after.
"What lucky person is getting that?" The florist beamed, no doubt in part because he might spend a small fortune on about thirty flowers packed together.
"Making a move on my friend." Bucky said matter-of-factly as he inspected the roses. The florists eyes widened a little.
"O-oh! Are they a big gestures kind of person?"
Bucky shrugged, turning the bouquet in his hands to get a look at it from every angle. "Well, I went from hating his guts but respecting him, to being head over heels in love with him. But I think he missed the memo, so I guess I gotta be more clear." His flat tone didn't match the words coming from his mouth.
He didn't give her a chance to process any of that before he pulled the cash out of his wallet and handed it to her. "These'll work. Thanks." He gave her a nod and continued his way to Sam's.
The closer he got to Sam's door, his confidence started to wane. He's prepared for a rejection in case in comes to that but being prepared for the worst outcome doesn't mean he's ok with experiencing it.
He sent Sam a text when he left the florist that he was on the way and Sam messaged back. He felt a little pang of embarrassment at how quickly he checked his phone.
"Good I'm starving" with a little peace sign hand and a heart. He sent a lot of hearts.
He found himself pulling out his old anxiety reducing techniques from his time as a recruit. Funny how sometimes preparing to confess to your friend and preparing to be shot at, can illicit the same response from your body.
He arrived at Sam's door and didn't waste any time hanging around. He knocked and stood back with his hand in his pocket.
The seconds dragged on until Sam eventually opened the door, pulling his jacket on as he did. "Hey man, so-"
Sam's smile faded to a half smile, one eyebrow raising, glancing from the bouquet to Bucky and back to the bouquet. "Bucky, what the hell is this?"
Here we go.
Bucky stepped forward, handing Sam the flowers. He took them if not just put of pure confusion. "They're flowers. For you." Straight forward and to the point. No sense being subtle. "Back in my day, y'know, it was the gentlemanly thing to do for your date."
Sam visibly froze except for his eyes, blinking once, raising his head to look at Bucky and blinking again.
"...Date?"
"Yes."
The cogs in Sam's head were turning. His eyes drifting ever so slightly off Bucky to the stairwell behind him while his brain put two and two together, all while holding the roses in his arms.
Sam looked like a deer in headlights. But he also didn't object. Bucky imagined he was trying to work out if this was a joke, but likely came to the conclusion that Bucky does not make these kinds of jokes. A part of him felt bad for putting Sam on the spot like this but if there's one lesson Bucky's learnt since being free from Hydra. There's no time like the present.
Bucky fidgeted with the inside of his pockets but didn't let the facade fall yet. He gave Sam a few more seconds before nodding his head towards the stairwell. "We going or what?"
Sam's eyes snapped back to Bucky and only left him hanging for another moment. "I..." He started, then nodded. "Yeah...yeah." His voice was a little higher than normal. He cleared his throat and spoke normally again. "Lemme just...put these in water..." His voice trailed off as he walked back inside, moving like he'd had a near death experience and the adrenaline had just worn off.
Bucky took a step inside, closing the door behind him and waited patiently. Standing at the door with his hands in his pockets while Sam filled a vase up with water. He watched as Sam fumbled when he unwrapped them and a few stems fell onto the counter. His eyes were darting around before he muttered something to himself, then spoke loud enough for Bucky to hear.
"I'll...cut the stems and shit...later...I guess." He took a prolonged moment to stare at the bouquet before shaking his head. "Okay I'm ready."
Bucky opened the front door for him and Sam stopped in the doorway, turning to face him.
"...You're completely serious aren't you?" It wasn't a question, it was a statement. All that thinking has lead Sam to the correct conclusion. Bucky locked eyes with him.
"Deadly."
Sam, still in the midst of processing everything, nodded once. Bucky gave him another explicit chance to turn him away.
"Is that a problem?" Bucky did his best to hide the surge of nerves, anticipation building for an outright confirmation from Sam that this was mutual.
Sam blinked once more and his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, before his head started to slowly shake from side to side. "Nope...no. Not at all. Lets go." He popped his lips and walked out the door, trusting Bucky to lock and close it behind them.
They got to their lunch spot and Bucky ordered for them. They always switch between the same two things on the menu so it was a safe enough guess. Sam didn't object to the order but he also wasn't saying much of anything, which was definitely odd for the usual chatterbox.
They sat in silence at the small circular table for nearly a straight minute after the waitress walked away once she'd delivered their drinks. Bucky tapped his fingers on his glass, occasionally peering at Sam, who still seemed to be stuck in his mind palace.
Eventually, Sam broke the silence. Bucky was mildly stunned when the first sound out of his mouth was a huff of laughter out his nose.
"I... am one stupid son of a bitch." He started off slowly, a thin smile growing on his face.
Bucky took a sip of his drink without breaking eye contact. "What makes you say that?" Bucky's voice couldn't have sounded more deadpanned if he tried.
Sam bit the inside of his lip, hands hanging over the edge of the arm rests. "Aren't you supposed to say 'No you aren't'? What kind of date are you."
Shrugging, Bucky placed his glass back on the table, his eyes not once leaving Sam's. "Depends on your reason." His attempt to be nonchalant got harder once Sam used the word date himself. A little burst of butterflies fluttered in his chest.
Sam pressed his lips together to force back a smile, rather unsuccessfully. "I just... misread a lot of shit. And I'm sitting here thinking about all the shit I totally misread because I am, apparently, dumb as rocks."
Bucky put a fist over his mouth to keep himself from loudly laughing. He felt deeply vindicated on this beautiful day.
Sam threw an arm out to the side. "I invited you as a plus-one to my grandmas birthday, who does that with someone they aren't dating?"
Bucky remembers. He's in about fifty family photos. She gave him her mac & cheese recipe. "I mean that's what I was thinking." He kept on smiling behind his fist. Enjoying the constant waves of realizations from the other man tremendously.
Sam sighed, putting a hand over his eyes as he leaned back in the wicker arm chairs, elbow on the armrest. "I am so sorry. I swear I'm not usually that oblivious."
Bucky shrugged again, leaning back and stretching his legs out to rest under the middle of the table. "It's fine, it only kind of felt like torture."
Sam moved his fingers to peek between them with a half glare, then mirrored him, slotting their legs together under the table. "Oh really? You seem fine Mr 'Here. Some flowers for our date'." He let his arm drop into his lap as he spoke.
"Sam, I was shitting myself. I half expected you to slam the door in my face."
Sam's leg fell to the side so his knee leant against the inside of Bucky's thigh. "Oh please. The worst I'd ever do is say you were too old for me."
Squeezing his eyes closed, Bucky groaned. "Wait, no. I've signed up for daily age gap jokes haven't I?"
"You came to my house and robbed me straight outta that cradle."
Bucky argued over Sam's chuckles. "Well if I hadn't then this wouldn't have ever happened, would it?"
Sam raised a finger like he was about to argue, but closed his mouth, dropped his hand and sat back again. Bucky just nodded. "Uh huh, that's what I thought."
Sam was back to giggling. "I gotta be honest. It didn't even occur to me that this could be a thing until you mentioned it." The giggling got more uncontrollable at Bucky's mock-tired reaction. He couldn't keep the smile off his face but goddamnit Wilson.
"But now it seems obvious! Like of course I have a thing for you. Makes total sense." Sam thought this was funny and the only reason Bucky was smiling is because Sam is goddamn adorable when he's like this. "In my defense, I've had a lot going on recently! Captain America's a big job!" He tried but Bucky wasn't having it.
"So I would have kept suffering for God only knows how long?" Bucky nodded to himself. Grateful he was at a point in his life where he was actively trying to improve his life instead of passively suffering.
Sam chewed on his bottom lip to force back another laugh. "I honestly think it would have taken a few more near-death experiences for my brain to have that life flashing before my eyes moment where I had an epiphany about you or some shit." Sam was staring above Bucky's head, imagining scenarios that might have unlocked his feelings without them needing to be pointed out to him.
Bucky shook his head. "By that point, I would be legally brain dead. I think my mental state would have just slowly deteriorated the more you treated me like your boyfriend without it being official."
Sam's eyes lit up like Bucky had started bitching about someone they mutually hated. "Oh is that what you want? The boyfriend title?"
"Is that not what this is?" Bucky was smiling and matching Sam's teasing energy but he couldn't help the slight panic that sprang in his stomach. Please God, there's no way they aren't on the same page right now.
Sam closed his legs around one of Bucky's. "Yeah, but it's a little highschool dontcha think?"
The soldier breathed a subtle sigh of relief. Leaning forward with his metal forearm on the tabletop. Bucky dropped his other hand underneath the table and ran his fingertips over Sam's knee. "What, you want an alternative? There's partner, significant other, there's lover-"
Sam tucked himself back into the chair with a little wriggle, his arms folded to his chest. "Ooh. I bet you'd pick that one, wouldn't you Romeo."
"Well I already referred to myself as your partner to your grandma and she didn't take it the romantic way, so maybe I'll go for something more specific next time."
"Better make your mind up because she's only got so many more birthdays in her. Plus a white boy with a metal arm dating her grandbaby might finish her off." Sam quipped, then moved on, not even letting Bucky comment on that at all.
"How about paramour? My beloved?"
For the first time, Bucky felt weirdly immune to the teasing in this moment. "Don't joke about it if you wouldn't want me calling you that in front of your sister." He traced his fingers down the inner side of Sam's leg and pinched the back of his knee.
Sam flinched and retorted by kicking the leg of Bucky's chair, pushing him back the tiniest bit. His warning glare only made Bucky wanna do it again.
They kept chatting, they ate and they stuck around and had a coffee just like usual. After a couple of hours, they walked back to Sam's place.
Sam had his hands tucked in his jacket pockets, gesturing from inside them. "Are you ending the date by walking me home?"
Bucky stopped at his door, turning to him. "It's the gentlemanly thing to do." He repeated his line from earlier. Sam nodded with a "Mhmm" taking a slow step forward.
"Oh for sure. What's the gentlemanly rule on what happens next?" Sam was verbally prodding him, no doubt thoroughly enjoying making Bucky explain all his thoughts. Feigning ignorance until Bucky said all the embarassing things out loud.
Bucky mirrored Sam's small, slow step forward. "I've been pretty pushy today, so I'd leave that in your hands."
"Well in that case." Sam closed the gap and got close enough for their noses to brush. Bucky couldn't help the way his breath hitched. For all his confidence in his advances, he's weak to it being reciprocated so boldly.
All of a sudden Bucky was entranced once again. Like a spell gets cast on him whenever he looks into those brown eyes. All his bravado and wit melted away from him and left him in a puddle under that gaze. "You know how many times I've wished you would kiss me?" He breathed, reaching up to hold Sam's face.
There was a glint in his eyes at Bucky's words. Sam tilted his head into the touch. "Sorry for making you wait." Eyes on Bucky's mouth as he apologized more sincerely than Bucky had ever heard from the man.
Their lips met. Soft, sweet and tender. Everything Bucky imagined it would be. His vibranium hand went to Sam's side and gently pulled him closer to bring their chests together. Lips moving in sync, slow and experimental. As Sam's fingers grasped the back of his neck, nails lightly scratching through his hair on the back of his head, a shudder ran through him. Bucky pulled back and took a deep breath opening his eyes to one of Sam's smug grins.
"How did I not notice your yearning ass months ago." Sam mused, leaning back in to peck at Bucky's lips, now pressed in a tight line at the comment. Sam kept peppering kisses with his cheeky little grin until Bucky gave in and kissed him back once more. He's waited this long, he isn't gonna let his pride stand in the way of savouring every second of this.
Sam let his hands rest on Bucky's arms. "You planning on going home or did you wanna come in and watch a movie?" He tapped Bucky on the chest with his knuckles. "Either that or, we could try to watch Squid Game again until you fall asleep."
"I would like to finish it but you always try to get me to watch it at night."
Feigning rolling his eyes, Sam clapped his thumb and forefingers together repeatedly while Bucky tried to continue his argument from an earlier hang out. "Yeah, yeah I know, and eight PM is your bedtime. My bad. I think you just don't like reading subtitles."
Bucky encircled Sam's waist with his vibranium arm and squeezed just enough to cause pressure. Sam's face tightened and he let out a small strained yelp, it being far too late for him to enact some kind of counter attack that wasn't overly vicious. He accepted his fate, locked chest to chest with the super soldier. "Ok fine! We can watch He's just not that into you. I know you love that flick. Now leggo."
Bucky stole another kiss before releasing his hold, though he let his hand linger on Sam for a bit longer as he turned to unlock his door. They both stepped inside and Sam gestured to his sitting area in front of the TV. "Make yourself at home. Like you've ever needed permission..." He trailed off into a mumble, earning him another pinch to his side, this time being swiftly smacked away paired with another warning glare. "Thats two strikes Barnes. You don't wanna know what happens at three." Pointing it fingers to his own eyes then pointing them at Bucky.
Bucky held up both his hands in surrender, feeling lighter than air.
"Oh, before I forget." Sam walked back to the bouquet and properly arranged them in the vase, shortened the stems and fixing their nervous state from earlier. Bucky watched, wandering closer, not even bothering to hide the pure adoration on his face.
Sam's eyes flicked up to him for a second and then back at the roses, admiring them. "How much did you spend on this again?"
Bucky's reply was instant. "A romantic amount."
"Uh huh. Is that why you caved and let me pay for lunch?"
Bucky responded by pulling him into another kiss. He pulled back just far enough to speak. "I forgot to thank you, just gimmie a second." Half dipping Sam and giving him a deep, passionate kiss. Sam instinctively put a hand on the counter behind him when he thought he was gonna fall over, but once his brain caught up with the fact that he was in the secure arms of a super soldier, he relaxed, returning his hand to the back of Bucky's neck.
Lips parting, breathless. Sam huffed dramatically. "Damn okay, we don't gotta watch anything. You win."
Bucky didn't care if he was joking. He backed him up into the kitchen counter. "Works for me."