Work Text:
after i met you
i’ve been happy with small changes
“We’re so sorry,” The dorm manager says, her tone very apologetic and harried. “Our administrative system has been down for the whole week and the records of our dorm arrangements were wiped out. The rooms you have right now will be temporary until we sort it out, but please do let us know if there’s anything at all, we will do our best to assist you.” She continues to apologise to Kenjirou who is feeling more and more beleaguered by the second.
“It’s alright,” Kenjirou says when she finally gets a space to say something. “I don’t mind, I didn’t request a specific person as a roommate this year.”
“Yes, yes, but you might get paired with someone not from your dynamic, are you alright with that?” The dorm manager asks apprehensively.
Truthfully, Kenjirou doesn’t care. Everyone wears scent patches out of politeness, and she hasn’t yet met an alpha whose scent appeals to her. And she definitely isn’t going to find it in a dingy little dorm at Tokyo University.
“That’s fine as well. Could I please have the key now?”
It takes another ten minutes of hand-wrangling and apologies before Kenjirou manages to snatch the key from the dorm manager’s hand, and she’s finally able to make her way to her room. It’s on the third floor this year in the northern wing, and she’s at least relieved that it’s one of those rooms where there’s a divider down the middle so they can have some semblance of privacy. She can only hope that her roommate isn’t going to be bringing people over often, among other things.
When she reaches her room, she notices that it’s already ajar – so her roommate must already have settled in. She steels herself to be polite and to actually smile, and pushes the door open with a bit of wariness –
To be met with who is perhaps the best-looking alpha she has ever seen in her life.
“Oh, you must be my roommate,” The alpha says, approaching her with a smile. “My name is Semi Eita. You’ll be putting up with me for the rest of this year.”
“I - I’m Shirabu Kenjirou,” She says, finding her voice from somewhere on the floor. “It’s – uh, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Need a hand with that?” Semi asks, nodding at her luggage. “I’m done unpacking, so I can give you a hand.”
“Um – that’s - that’s nice of you.” Before she can even get in another word, Semi brings her stuff in for her and sets it near the other free bed. Unable to help herself, she looks over the alpha, over her shock of messy, silver hair; the piercings in her ears that peek out from under her hair; the way she’s dressed in all black, the length of her shoulders stretching her shirt out. She also notices how the alpha had picked the bed closer to the door, giving her the bed nearer to their shared bathroom and the window, tucked away in a darker corner – perfect in the event she needs to nest, Kenjirou realises with a start.
“I…” Kenjirou starts, her words already dying in her throat because she doesn’t even know where to begin.
“I hope I wasn’t being presumptuous,” Semi says, coming back to stand in front of her. “I was told I’d be rooming with an omega, and my mama heard about it so she told me to take this bed.” She laughs softly, and the voice echoes straight into Kenjirou’s head like a bell, sonorous and hypnotic.
“That’s, uh – that’s really nice of you,” Kenjirou stammers out, completely uncharacteristic of herself.
“Well, I’ll leave you to unpack then,” Semi says. “Do you want to maybe grab some dinner after you’re done? No pressure, of course, if you’ve made plans already.”
Kenjirou has tentatively made plans to get dinner with some of her coursemates. “I – yeah. Sure. Sounds - sounds good.” Not that Semi needs to know that, after all.
Semi smiles at her, and just a hint of her canines peek out. “Good. I’ll see you later, Shirabu-chan.” Then she leaves, closing the door gently behind her, and Kenjirou stares at the previously occupied space with shock, feeling very – well, very everything, to put it mildly.
An alpha that she finds attractive – who generously gave her the better corner of the room – who helped her with her luggage even when she clearly didn’t need to – who left her alone to give her privacy as she unpacks – and invited her out for dinner without making any assumptions. It is so stupid and way too fast for it but Kenjirou knows herself way too well.
She’s got a crush. A crush on her alpha roommate. There is no way in hell this is going to end well.
(1) denial
This… situation is clearly something that will blow over within a week, tops. Kenjirou is not so weak that she’s crushing on the very first alpha she finds mildly attractive (understatement of the fucking century, that is). She says as much to herself, and the same to her friends when they ask her about her new roommate.
“She’s… an alpha,” Kenjirou says, the second night when she does finally meet her coursemates for that dinner. “Not that I mind.”
“Hm,” Chiyo begins, squinting a little at her, “interesting. Is she nice?”
What does ‘nice’ entail? Giving her the bed that’s better for an omega to nest in because it’s in a dark, safe corner? Carefully keeping her scent patches on throughout the day and even late into the night so her scent won’t bother Kenjirou? Helping her put her suitcase away into the unused top shelf of her wardrobe, thus allowing Kenjirou to glance at the strain in her biceps?
“She’s very nice,” Kenjirou finally says, then she sees the look in Chiyo’s eyes. “Now don’t you start with your nonsense! I’m not interested in her.”
“Ohhh,” Miwa pipes up, suddenly eager to participate. “You’re not interested in your roommate?”
“No,” Kenjirou says resolutely, gripping her chopsticks so hard she’s about to break them in half.
“But you think she’s attractive,” Miwa continues.
“… That’s not part of the conversation,” Kenjirou says evasively.
“And… what does she look like?”
“She – well – she has silver hair and a bunch of piercings… She’s kind of – well, I think so anyway – but she’s kind of buff, and I’ve only seen her wear black and grey for the past two days…” Kenjirou would say more but she trails off as she looks round the table and realises that her friends are all staring, goggle-eyed, at her like she’s some sort of exhibit at a museum. “What?”
“You have the biggest, most obvious crush ever,” Miwa declares, in a voice that’s far too loud for a public space.
“Shut the hell up!” Kenjirou hisses, willing her cheeks not to burst into flames. “And I do not have a crush on her!”
“You haven’t so much as given any other person a passing glance,” Chiyo points out, quite reasonably. Kenjirou isn’t feeling reasonable enough to see that right now. “Even when we tried introducing people to you, you would have some gripe or other that put you off them. This is the first time we’ve heard you gush about someone else.”
“I did not – you take that back! I did not gush,” Kenjirou says, feeling very offended.
“You started going off about her hair and her piercings and her muscles,” Chiyo says without missing a beat. “That constitutes ‘gushing’. And you know how you said the last time that you don’t have a type?”
“… Yeah?”
“I think you do. You just haven’t realised it yet.”
“What even are you –”
“Hey, Shirabu-chan. Fancy seeing you here.”
Kenjirou turns around so fast in her seat that her neck gives a loud crick. Incredibly embarrassing, of course, but Kenjirou is panicking because – how long had Semi been standing there, and how much did she hear?!
“Semi-san…” Kenjirou says slowly, eyes darting between Semi’s face and how she’s holding a tray full of food with just one hand, her other hand occupied with a volleyball. “You play?” She blurts out, gunning for a distraction and hoping to the highest heavens that Semi didn’t hear any of their previous conversation.
“You mean volleyball? I do. I used to play more in high school, but I’ve had less time in university. I’m on the casual team if you want to come along sometime.” Semi smiles down at her, then looks at her friends. “Hi, you all. I’m Semi, this cutie’s roommate. I guess you’re all my juniors?”
Miwa gasps quite loudly, but Chiyo at least has the decency to cough over her. “We’re all the same age as Shirabu-chan. It’s nice to meet you, Shirabu-chan’s been telling us about you.” Scratch that, Chiyo is just as bad as Miwa. Some fucking friends she has!
“I –” Kenjirou starts, feeling very, very unbalanced and like she’s going to combust, but Eita beats her to it.
“It’s nice to meet you. I promise I’ll treat her well. And Shirabu-chan – this is for you,” Semi says, dropping a cup of strawberry pudding onto Kenjirou’s tray. “There were some new sweets that just came out so I got it for you. Eat well, alright?” She nods politely to everyone else, and goes away to presumably join her own friends – not that Kenjirou has the wherewithal’s to pay attention to that because – what the fuck? What the actual fuck!
“Shirabu-chan,” Miwa says, as they all stare at the innocuous cup of strawberry pudding, “she likes you. She likes you so bad. That was absolutely appalling to watch!” She says, but she’s practically squealing in Kenjirou’s ear, leaning over to wrangle her into a semi-hug.
“She does not,” Kenjirou insists, even though her ears feel hot and her palms are sweaty. She patently ignores the strawberry pudding on her tray. “She’s just – being nice! You know, looking out for a junior.” She doesn’t bother to bring up how Semi even knew she liked strawberries in the first place, and had noticed she didn’t have the pudding on her tray when she walked in. Had Semi seen her from the beginning?
“Well, it’s pretty telling, either way,” Chiyo offers. “Semi-san called you a cutie and said she’d treat you well. She got you pudding that you liked because she noticed you didn’t have any. As far as being chivalrous goes, that stops at saying hello and introducing yourself.”
“I… don’t know what you’re on about,” Kenjirou says stubbornly, but she picks the pudding up and sticks a spoon in it, feeling a bit mullish about it all. “Semi-san is just like that, you’ll see.”
Miwa shoots her an unimpressed look. “Yeah, we will. If she’s this bad on the second day of you being roommates, I can’t imagine what it’s like when we’re well into the semester. Should we start bringing scent-neutraliser spray along with us to dinner?”
And, well, Kenjirou really cannot be faulted for lobbing a stray carrot at Miwa for that. It’s just too outlandish and too bizarre for her. She does not like Semi. She does not! It doesn’t matter that Semi is… handsome and sweet on her and attentive. That’s just probably how Semi is to everyone. She isn’t special. She isn’t.
(from across the room, eita watches carefully as her new omega roommate picks up her pudding and starts eating it. her mouth becomes stained red with the juice from the strawberry, and eita has to look away, feeling like she’s being a bit invasive.
she just – can’t help herself. shirabu had shown up at their dorm room door looking so very cute and so very flustered that all she had wanted to do was to – provide. she’d never really been led by her instincts so strongly before, but all she wants to do is look at shirabu and make sure she’s sleeping well and eating well and that she’s happy. she doesn’t want to think about what these instincts mean for the time being. it’s enough that shirabu seems to flourish under her attention, if a little embarrassed about it all.)
(2) anger
Kenjirou is not famously known for being patient or understanding. Her high-school volleyball team had withered underneath her gaze when they fooled around a bit too much, and she’d earned a rather terrible reputation for walking away from love confessions because the other person was taking too long. This is a fact she knows about herself. She’s a bit irritable even on a good day, she’s rather quick to anger when she knows she’s definitely right, and there are only so many people who can put up with her.
One of these people is somehow shaping up to be Semi.
Even though Kenjirou maintains her stance on this – situation (the stance being that she does not like Semi, thank you very much) – she can’t help but be a little prickly and on-edge around her roommate. It’s as though that conversation with her friends made her so overly-aware of Semi’s actions and what she’s doing when they’re around each other, and she’s lashing out a little, cautious and trying to look out for herself.
Logically, Kenjirou knows Semi isn’t even doing anything wrong. She’s honestly just being a bit… picky about certain things.
“Don’t put your soaps on the outer edge of the bathtub, I keep knocking them over,” Kenjirou complains one evening. She’s freshly showered and nursing a tiny, barely-there bruise on her knee from when she’d tried to get out of the tub and bumped into some of Semi’s products. It’s actually her fault for doing so, but she had been distracted by how nice the bathroom was smelling after Semi had taken her own shower – she doesn’t really want to think about how that was more likely the smell of Semi’s pheromones and not the shampoo she uses.
“Alright,” Semi says easily, without a fuss. She looks up briefly, sees something that makes her eyes go dark for a second before she goes back to scribbling something in her notebook as if nothing’s happened.
Kenjirou, left speechless, just goes to sit at their desk to dry her hair. The nerve of this alpha!!
It happens again when Semi brings back some leftover takeout from one place or another next week. She’s having a very late dinner as she goes over her work, so Kenjirou can’t begrudge her that – she’s done the same thing so many times. But it does irritate her that when she wakes up, the empty takeout boxes are still on their shared desks. Granted, they’re stacked and tied up in plastic bags, but she’s feeling… something. She doesn’t know what exactly.
“Good morning,” Semi says, emerging from the bathroom.
Kenjirou blinks over at her, surprised that Semi had both slept later than her but woke up earlier.
“Sorry about that, by the way,” Semi adds, stepping over to the pile of takeout boxes on their table. “I was going to take it out last night, but I was worried opening the door might wake you up. I’ll throw it out now.”
Kenjirou doesn’t even get the chance to be angry. She watches as Semi takes those boxes as well as their trash and bundles everything together, slipping her shoes on and leaving their room to take it to the recycling center downstairs. Had… had Semi noticed? Or was it just coincidence that Semi knew leaving trash around would set her off?
Deciding that she might as well just chalk it up to eerie coincidence, she goes and washes up herself, changing into her day clothes just as Semi returns.
“I’ve left you some food in the fridge if you want to take that for your lunch later,” Semi says, like she had never left the room in the first place. “Remember to take your vitamins before you head out, okay?”
Kenjirou looks at her incredulously. She thinks she’s been doing a lot of that lately. “I – what are you, my mama?”
Semi levels her with a gaze that Kenjirou doesn’t quite understand. “I’m not trying to be that,” Semi eventually says, then steps closer to swipe her wrists against Kenjirou’s. “Anyway, I have to go now. I won’t be back till after dinner since I’ve got classes all day. Be good, alright, cutie?”
Then she walks out the door, and Kenjirou has a half mind to change the locks so she can’t ever get in again.
What the hell! What the fuck! Kenjirou thinks she’s going to explode like a stupid volcano from the feelings this alpha is putting her through.
Preparing food for her – saying those cryptic words with an even more unreadable look in her eyes – calling her a cutie, again – Kenjirou can’t take it. She really, really can’t. She sweeps a desperate look around their room, but all she sees is the things that Semi has done for her whenever she’s said something. Or not ever anything at all, sometimes.
Semi’s bath products are lined up neatly on the inside of the bathtub where there’s no chance of them getting knocked over. In fact, she’s swapped her products out for containers that don’t have any sharp edges so it’s impossible to be scratched or bruised accidentally even if they did drop by accident. Their trash is taken out and all of their surfaces are clean and wiped down. The window is open for air to circulate, and when Kenjirou opens the fridge, there’s a container with some fried rice in it and a little sticky note with a smile on it.
She can’t take it anymore.
That same evening, Semi barely has time to step through the doorway before Kenjirou is blocking her path, annoyed at everything but even more so when she realises that she actually has to look up at Semi when they’re standing this close to each other.
“… Hello?” Semi says, going for a half-smile.
“Stop - stop being so nice to me!” Kenjirou blurts out instead, extremely flustered and completely unsure of herself. “You don’t – you shouldn’t just keeping listening to what I have to say. I’m very unreasonable sometimes!”
Semi just looks at her, a little bewildered. “But… but it makes you more comfortable, right?”
“That isn’t the point!”
“That is the point. I should make you feel comfortable. It isn’t fair to you to share a room with an alpha, so it’s the least I can do.”
Kenjirou wants to point out that Semi is going far and beyond just being nice. This is just – all of these things – it just seems like Semi is courting her. But she isn’t about to say that out loud – what does she look like, someone who’s good at communicating her feelings in an open and transparent manner?
“Is it too much?” Semi asks, after a long period of silence. “Do you… not like it?”
Kenjirou huffs and steps out of Semi’s way, turning away to look at – anything else. “Whatever. Do as you like. I’m just saying that you don’t have to listen to me all the time.”
Semi laughs then, low and sonorous behind her. Kenjirou can’t help but turn around again, magnetic, and she knows she’s red in the cheeks when she sees that Semi has caught the ends of her hair in between her fingers.
“Don’t worry about that, cutie,” Semi says, toying with the ends of her hair, that same unreadable gaze returning. “I know. I know.”
Very faintly, Kenjirou thinks she has to – to move out. This is too much!
(eita doesn’t think shirabu realises how cute she’s being on a daily basis. even if shirabu does get irritated rather easily, she’s also pacified just as quickly. it’s easy to read shirabu’s moods, and sometimes she wants to goad her on and other times she wants to soothe her down.
it is a bit much of her, she has to admit, because even shirabu is picking up on her mannerisms. but she can’t help it. she doesn’t want to be shirabu’s mama, like shirabu had suggested earlier. no, she wants to be something else.
she knows want she wants now. she’s just waiting for shirabu to come round to the same page as her.)
(3) bargaining
“Talk me into moving out of my current room and in with someone else,” Kenjirou says, clutching onto Miwa’s arm with every ounce of strength she possesses. “Sakai-chan, please, you have to – I can’t take this anymore.”
“What on earth are you talking about? Weren’t you getting along with Semi-san? Did something happen?” Miwa frowns over at her, and they link arms as they walk towards their shared lecture.
“It’s nothing bad,” Kenjirou begins, then changes her tone. “No, wait, I take that back. It’s bad, it’s very bad. What - what are you supposed to do when your alpha roommate is always… taking care of you?”
Miwa stops dead in her tracks then, staring at Kenjirou with a wide-eyed bug stare. “What do you mean she’s taking care of you?”
Kenjirou groans, her face hot as she tugs on Miwa’s arm futilely. “She just – you know! She made me food… she reminded me to take my vitamins… Last week when we had that assignment due she brought me my favourite kind of tea and snacks and refused to let me pay her back. Sakai-chan, please, this is dire.”
“Semi-san is courting you,” Miwa realises, and thankfully keeps her voice in a hushed whisper. “Oh, my god – Shirabu-chan, what do you think about that? Do you like it? Oh, wait, you said you wanted to move out, fuck – are you uncomfortable? I can –”
“I’m just embarrassed,” Kenjirou hisses as they file into class. “It’s been only a month since we moved in together! How does she know she wants to court me?”
“So you like it?”
“I – that’s not –”
“You have to like the courting, Shirabu-chan! Otherwise you should tell her that you don’t want her advances.”
“I… I guess – it’s not bad per se…”
“So then why do you want to move out?”
“I can’t take her sincerity!” Kenjirou says, keeping her voice as low as humanly possible. “How does she – do what she does for me and with such a straight face? And - and what if she’s just like this with everyone else? I’d never live it down!”
“Do you hear yourself?” Miwa says, glaring at her just as their lecturer steps into the room. “You’re just freaking out because you have the biggest fucking crush on your roommate! And you don’t even need to be worried from what I’m hearing since she’s pulling out all the stops to impress you.”
Kenjirou doesn’t get to get another word in after that even though she really wants to, because their lecturer starts talking and their icy gaze over the lecture hall makes everyone quiet down immediately. Mullishly, she brings up her notes on her laptop and pointedly doesn’t take any notes, instead dwelling on… all of this.
It doesn’t seem okay to just accept it. How could Semi be so sure of her decisions? What had Semi even seen in her, when she’d been nothing but irritable and short-tempered and way too demanding? Sure, she had other people try to approach her before with offers of courting but she’d always walked away, not impressed by their advances. But with Semi, she had just… gone ahead and done what she thought was best. Was it a little arrogant of her? Yes. Was it also rather charming? Kenjirou doesn’t want to answer that question.
She spends that whole lecture staring into the distance and taking some very lacklustre notes, and Miwa only sighs when the lecture ends. She’s off for another class but Kenjirou heads to the library instead, trudging slowly along the campus roads as she reflects.
The easy way out would be to just move out. She could say that she couldn’t live with an alpha anymore, and no one else would be even question her. She’s even fairly sure that Semi might volunteer to move out so that she doesn’t have to pack her things up and move her nest, but the thought of Semi moving out makes the stupid, pathetic part of herself cross so she doesn’t think about that for too long. But wouldn’t Semi ask her questions? What if Semi misunderstood and thought that she was uncomfortable? That wouldn’t do at all, no – was there no way out of this then? Was she doomed to be stuck in this roommate situation forever?
“What’s got you all so distracted?” A familiar voice says, and Kenjirou startles so badly that she trips over an uneven ledge in the pavement. She doesn’t eat the concrete though, because a large, warm hand catches her around her waist and pulls her upright, back into someone’s firm chest.
“Ah - ah,” Kenjirou stammers out, twisting a little in her hold, “Semi-san…”
“Hi, cutie,” Semi says, smiling down at her. She lets her go, and steps away to a more respectable distance. “You alright?”
“Fine,” Kenjirou says, and winces when her voice cracks a little. “Just - just heading to the library. You?” She can’t help but look over Semi’s appearance, her heart jumping a little in her throat. As usual, Semi’s adorned with all of her piercings and what Kenjirou has come to learn are clothes in an alternative fashion. She looks good, Kenjirou can admit that.
“Got a class in half an hour,” Semi says, then produces a cup of iced coffee out of nowhere. “This is for you.”
Kenjirou blinks. “Um…?”
“For you,” Semi repeats, then reaches out to Kenjirou’s wrist and brings her hand up to manually wrap her fingers round the cup. “I’ll see you tonight, alright? Don’t work too hard!”
Kenjirou is left to stare after Semi, open-mouthed and a little shocked. Semi’s touch around her waist and her wrist burns warm from contact, and when she reads the label on the coffee cup, she realises it’s her regular coffee order. What business did Semi had getting it? How would have Semi known where she was going at this time of day? What if she had been busy and Semi never met her at all?
Kenjirou has the very strong, overwhelming urge to rocket up into the sky like a meteor. Because of their proximity, she’d accidentally inhaled a lungful of Semi’s scent. Sure, the scent patch was still on, but what with the hours of use and Semi sweating through it, she’d made out the notes of Semi’s scent for the first time ever.
Wood, just barely smoked at the edges like that one time Kenjirou went on a camping trip and they’d made a campfire. Then, something else incredibly pleasant over the top of it all, like fresh linen or mowed grass. It had surrounded her so completely despite the very short amount of time, and it’s left her all so incredibly unbalanced.
Honestly, what even… what even on earth was happening to her these days!!
(as eita walks away, she hopes the highest fucking heavens that shirabu didn’t notice how red her ears were. what was that all about! for her to get the coffee in the first place was already a massive assumption on her part — she’d originally intended on texting shirabu to ask her if she was free for a minute to give her the damned thing, but then she spotted shirabu meandering towards the library with a lost look, and couldn’t help herself.
then shirabu had to go and trip and look at her with her big brown eyes and shiny lips and semi — can’t take it anymore. she’s also fairly sure her pheromones had broken through her scent patch with how fast her heart was hammering in her chest so that’s another problem she has to go take care of before her next class. she also doesn’t know how she’s going to face shirabu again later, which is a massive problem because they live together.
groaning, eita bites over her knuckles briefly to recenter herself, and wonders if maybe she needs to call her older sister for some help. after all, yuuka is an omega herself, and she’s been through her fair share of shenanigans when her mate tried courting her so many years ago.
yes, eita thinks she’ll do that. she needs to make sure she does this right.)
(4) depression
Kenjirou had been right to be so doubtful of how intently Semi was seemingly pursuing her. After all, it wasn’t as if they knew each other very well, and she knows that Semi is probably tired of pursuing her without any sort of obvious reciprocation. She just didn’t expect it to be so… sudden, and without any obvious change in Semi’s behaviour.
She’s lying in bed even though it’s only three in the afternoon, eyes closed but clearly seeing the scene that’s replaying through her mind on loop. Semi, laughing so cheerfully with another girl. She had watched, frozen, as Semi braided a ribbon through the girl’s beautiful dark hair, then split a pastry with her under the gorgeous autumn afternoon. They looked good together. That other girl… looked so happy.
Kenjirou could never be that forthcoming, or that sweet. She is only what everyone else says, after all. She doesn’t… she’s not…
She turns over in her bed, and pretends that she doesn’t feel the wetness against her pillow, leaking from the corners of her eyes. She’s not upset, she’s not. There’s just no logical reason for her to be so upset about this – Semi had clearly understood she wasn’t interested, and so had turned her attention to another girl, which Kenjirou can’t fault her for.
Its just… it’s just…
Kenjirou sniffles a little. Maybe she had liked that attention. Maybe she hadn’t ever had someone try to pursue her so wholeheartedly, learning her little likes and dislikes that well. And now, she realises that maybe she has taken all of that for granted. That thought sinks deep into her chest and claws at her heart and she thinks dazedly that maybe she really does need to move out now. There’s no way she’ll be able to face Semi like this, knowing full well that Semi is courting someone else.
She stays in bed like that, and falls asleep eventually. Her dreams are strange and haunting, and when she jolts awake at four in the morning from a nightmare, it’s silent and dark everywhere. As her vision adjusts to the dark, she can just about make out Semi’s figure on the opposite bed, along with a box of something that wasn’t there previously on the desk.
Kenjirou wonders blearily why Semi hadn’t drawn the partition between them every night as she usually did, but even just thinking about Semi makes her very tender, so she decides to turn around to face the wall and try to fall asleep again. She suddenly wishes that she had more materials to build the walls of her nest higher so she could be properly cocooned, and as sleep takes her uneasily, she has the lingering thought that no matter how high the walls of her nest are built, it still won’t be complete without that elusive scent of wood and linen.
She doesn’t know how long more she sleeps for, only that she can feel herself being shaken awake all of a sudden, the touch gentle but insistent, and when she opens her eyes, her vision is filled by a panic-stricken Semi.
“Wha…” Kenjirou slurs out, still mostly asleep, but then Semi brushes a hand over her cheeks and Kenjirou realises with a start that it’s wet. Had she – did she –
“You were crying in your sleep,” Semi says, her brows furrowed with worry. “I’m sorry for waking you up, I know you must be tired. But you were – you cried so badly in your sleep and I couldn’t let you… just cry like that.”
Kenjirou sits up slowly, wiping the tear tracks away from her face, and perhaps it’s because she’s still half-asleep that her inhibitions are down that she says it. “You shouldn’t be so worried,” She says quietly, trying to make it so obvious that her voice is hoarse not from sleep but from crying. “You… don’t have to care about me.”
Semi’s grip, which had been on her shoulder this whole time, turns a little tight at her words. “What,” Semi says carefully, “do you mean?”
“I know you were courting me,” Kenjirou says, looking at Semi through increasingly blurry vision as the tears come on, unbidden and unwanted. “And I know I didn’t reciprocate so I don’t blame you for moving on.”
“Shirabu-chan,” Semi begins, but Kenjirou shakes her head.
“You don’t have to say anything, it’s okay,” Kenjirou continues on. “I saw you with that girl yesterday, and you looked so happy with her. It’s okay, I get it. I’ll ask management to change dorms so it’ll be easier for both of us. I –”
“Kenjirou,” Semi says, and the use of her first name makes Kenjirou look up in shock, the sound of her name so utterly foreign in that voice. “Please, I think you’ve got it wrong.”
Kenjirou bristles instinctively, mouth already opening again, but Semi shakes her head and moves to clasp their hands together.
“I didn’t use to court you. I am still courting you, and I have no intention of stopping until you give me your answer. You might think you didn’t reciprocate, but you accepted my advances when I know you’re straightforward with your feelings. And the girl you saw with me yesterday was my sister. I was asking her about you.”
Kenjirou is… more than a little shell-shocked. Everything that she had been prepared to say has melted away into nothingness, and all she can think about is the absolute warmth that Semi is exuding, along with the way Semi looks at her, eyes wide with something close to desperation.
“I can show you,” Semi says, taking Kenjirou’s silence for disbelief. “I took a photo with my sister yesterday – and I can show you the pictures from her wedding too. You can ask me anything at all, I have nothing to hide from you. I’m interested only in you. I only want to be with you. I made up my mind since that first time we met.”
“That’s… you - you’ve only known me for three months,” Kenjirou says weakly, handling the easiest topic first. “You can’t – it’s not –”
“My instincts have never been this strong my whole life,” Semi says, leaning in so close to Kenjirou that she can smell Semi’s scent again, this time the burnt edges of it so strong and acrid that she can taste the desperation. “I thought about it so much, and so often too. But no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t help myself, I just wanted to make sure you were well taken care of. I was only waiting for you so we could be on the same page.”
“You…” Kenjirou murmurs, and perhaps between Semi’s words and her scent, she finally, finally, allows herself to believe. “If you’re sure,” She ends up saying, swallowing around the lump in her throat. “If you’re sure about… about me. Then yes. My answer to you is yes.”
“Thank you,” Semi gasps out, and both the relief in her voice and the lightening in her scent is so evident that Kenjirou wonders how she could have ever doubted any of this. “I won’t ever make you sad, ever. I’ll be the best you’ve ever had.”
“You… are the only I ever have had,” Kenjirou points out, and has to suppress a smile when she notices the tips of Semi’s ears burning red. So this alpha does have some weaknesses after all.
“Thank you for giving me a chance to try at all,” Semi says, still holding Kenjirou’s hands. “I know I came on pretty strong and it could have turned out really badly –”
Kenjirou decides it’s way too early for even more of this conversation. She frees her hands and loops her arms around Semi’s neck, tugging her down until they’re lying down inside her nest, Semi’s arms braced beside her head.
“Shirabu,” Semi says, in a distraught voice. “This is – I’m in your nest, I can’t –”
“Be quiet,” Kenjirou says. “I’m tired from all of this. We can talk more after I’ve actually slept.”
Slowly, Semi settles down into her nest, carefully not to disturb any of the walls, and arranges them carefully until she’s spooning Kenjirou, blocking her off from the rest of their room. Kenjirou wonders how Semi knows all of this – that it’s soothing to her instincts that she’s being protected – even though there’s virtually no danger at all here.
Like this, in her nest and with Semi plastered behind her, scent now warm and pleasant again, it’s so simple for Kenjirou to drift off, so incredibly comfortable. Faintly, she thinks she feels Semi drop a light kiss against the back of her neck, whispering something into her skin there, but she doesn’t hear any of it.
Her heart is light for the first time in weeks.
(5) acceptance
Eita genuinely had not expected her life to change so drastically in her final year of university. Not when the year had started off so terribly with the dorm systems being all down and the roommates now randomly assigned between subgenders. She had, for all intents and purposes, meant to ask the dorm manager to change rooms as soon as the systems were up and running again, but that was before Shirabu walked into her life.
There was simply no going back after meeting Shirabu.
She had, at first, delighted in annoying and egging Shirabu on, pleased for some reason with the way Shirabu’s cheeks turned red; after all, she was so very cute when she was a little angry. But that had very quickly shifted from polite consideration for the comforts of an omegan roommate to… wanting her to be less of a roommate and more of a mate.
It was bad enough that her instincts went haywire around Shirabu, but the sheer proximity between them – that they were sharing a bathroom and sharing all of their living space – had Eita on-edge so often that their window stayed permanently open even as the months grew colder. She kept her own scent patches on, not wanting her scent to make Shirabu uncomfortable, and was rewarded with the faint but lovely smell of Shirabu’s scent when she took hers off for the night.
Eita has dreamed of sinking her teeth into red, ripe, strawberries for three months now.
She knows she can’t mess this up. God forbid she do anything wrong because she knows Shirabu deserves the best, and thus she had begun her rather shoddy attempts at… courting, if one could call it that. The strawberry pudding had been more of a test than anything else, trying to gauge what Shirabu thought of her and if she would be receptive. The glee she felt surging in her chest when Shirabu reached for the pudding before even finishing her dinner, and polished off the whole thing… well, she can’t be blamed.
Everything else had fallen in line so easily. Shirabu has routines and practices she likes to stick to, and she’s easier to read than she likes to let on. She’s got a glare sharp enough to cut through steel, but she struggles to actually say the things she wants to say, so Eita takes it upon herself to provide in whatever ways she can.
Of course, there’s only so much she can do herself – this is the first time she’s courting anyone at all, and she doesn’t have much to go off from. She hounds her alpha mother for advice day in and day out until her own mother threatens to block her; when she exhausts that avenue, she turns to her older sister’s alpha to beg them for tips. She knows she’s obvious, and more than a bit desperate, but she has to.
And now, after that little scene, Eita has her. Shirabu is sleeping soundly in her arms, but even though she’s so very comfortable and a croon is threatening to start in her chest, she doesn’t want to fall asleep. Instead, she looks at the soft lines of Shirabu’s face, traces with the back of her finger over the highs of her cheeks and the bow of her mouth. Brushes her fringe away from her eyes and pulls the blankets up higher when she feels how cold her legs are. Drops kiss after kiss after kiss onto whatever parts of skin she can reach while she’s holding Shirabu like this, and doesn’t take a single one for granted.
She does that again and again until the minutes stretch slow and sweet like molasses, and nothing else really exists apart from them, inside the lovely, safe nest that Shirabu had constructed, their scents mingling together in the prettiest possible combination.
“You,” Eita murmurs, knowing Shirabu isn’t going to hear any of this, “really changed so many little things in my life. Strawberries are my favourite fruit now, because of you. I prefer hojicha to matcha since you like it better. I stock our fridge with shirasu because it’s the only thing you’ll eat when you’re busy with work.” She pauses then, just to scent over the nape of Shirabu’s neck softly, allowing herself a small indulgence.
“I have a favourite brand of laundry detergent since you do. I switched my pens to the ones you use because you let me try them once and they were better than mine. When the dining hall has mochi I think of you.” She nuzzles in closer, wondering if she’s just hallucinating that Shirabu’s scent is becoming stronger and stronger, the strawberries now laced with something citrusy in it.
“You… really have so much to say,” Shirabu says, her voice a little scratchy from sleep. She turns around in Eita’s hold, taking advantage of Eita being stunned that she was awake throughout that whole speech, and she cups Eita’s face gently with one hand, a faint dusting of red spreading across the bridge of her nose.
“You - you heard all of that,” Eita stammers, gripping Shirabu’s hip just a tad bit tighter.
“I’ve been awake since you were - were kissing me,” Shirabu informs her. “You weren’t very subtle about it. I was going to say something, but you kept going.”
“Well, I meant all of it,” Eita says, sticking with her words even if she is a little embarrassed. “Because of you, I’ve made so many small changes. All of them happy.”
Shirabu looks away for a second, then she refocuses her gaze on Eita. It’s not sharp nor steely, but very much tender, and she looks so, so, soft like this, with her doe eyes and heart-shaped lips. She is both dream and reality mingled into one.
“Me too,” Shirabu says, and her voice is an undertow that pulls Eita along with every word. “Because of you, lots of small things in my life changed too. My nest doesn’t smell just of me anymore. My wardrobe’s expanded since you keep giving me your hoodies to wear. I’ve been sleeping better and eating better because you won’t stop nagging me.”
Then she smiles at Eita, small but so dazzlingly stunning that it knocks all the breath of Eita.
“My biggest small change is that I learned I have a crush on someone.”
“… Yeah?” Eita breathes, and she doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to the quick-jump beat of her heart when Shirabu looks at her like this. “Do you think I know this person?”
“I think so,” Shirabu murmurs, arching up into Eita’s touch. “She’s got pretty hair like you, and so many piercings that I can’t keep track of them. She likes to take care of me, and she smells like a campfire. She looked at me once and somehow thought she needed to have me.”
“Sounds very familiar,” Eita says, and thinks she’s trembling a little from the surge of affection that’s thrumming in her veins. “Do you have any more hints for me?”
“And,” Shirabu says, indulging her in a quiet whisper meant only for Eita, “I think I’m in love with her.”
“Well,” Eita says, completely and utterly taken with her darling girl, “I think she loves you too.”
And then she kisses Shirabu, again and again and again, and her dreams of strawberries come alive under her mouth.