Chapter Text
As Viktor lay in his bed, coughing and heaving up speckles of blood, he only had one thought.
He couldn’t do this anymore.
It had been an awful day, so far, and tomorrow wasn’t looking any better.
His stomach had refused any amount of sustenance, and his chest had ached terribly since it had woken him at 5am. None of his joints or muscles seemed to want to co-operate either.
He would sooner wish death upon himself, than be broken for even a single day longer.
No one in all of Piltover seemed to understand, and he had the sense that no one ever would.
Even in the Undercity, nobody had really, truly cared. They’d looked upon him with pity, yes, but they avoided the broken one all the same.
The worst part was that Viktor couldn’t really blame them.
Who would want to associate with someone as pathetic as him?
By the time the hacking had calmed down, Viktor was entirely drained. He collapsed into the bed, noticing the falling snow out the window as he looked to the side, ignoring the scent of the blood on his pillow.
That would be a peaceful way to go…
If he could simply fall asleep, and never, ever wake up.
It would be cold, yes, but he was always cold and besides, he’d be gone before it could matter.
He felt a tear slip down his cheek.
Jayce would probably lecture him.
Viktor didn’t think he could take another. Every single one took another small chunk from his heart, replacing it with horrid fear at the thought of his deepest desire.
He slowly sat up, letting himself recover for a moment as the world spun and his lungs heaved for air.
He was a burden, and nothing more.
He reached for his crutch to get up, immediately falling to the floor in his attempt.
But wheelchairs took up too much space.
He and Jayce were working on something better… but it couldn’t help him.
Nothing ever would.
He was already a waste of oxygen.
He didn’t need to waste more.
Ever so slowly, Viktor scooted his way to his deck with the blanket in which he would be laid to rest. The tears were steady now, but he could control neither them, nor his racing thoughts. A small, weak voice kept interrupting, telling him that if he only just waited a few hours then everything would be okay again.
There was nothing else for him to live for.
Not for him, anyways.
The voice didn’t matter.
After far too much time had passed, none of which he actually remembered, Viktor was able to reach up to the door handle. As soon as it was turned, a strong, snowy wind brushed gently across his face, freezing his tears, while welcoming him into its frigid embrace.
It couldn’t have taken Viktor more than fifteen minutes to set up what was to be his deathbed, but all the same he sat there, trance-like while he formed his pillow out of snow.
Why did dying peacefully need to be so effortful? It seemed endlessly unfair.
Could he not just drift off?
After setting down his inadequate blanket, Viktor wrapped it around himself. There was a part of him that begged for warmth, but a much larger one that had found peace in the harsh winds. As he lay there, silent sobs being drowned out by the cold winds, he was soon brought into the world of hopefully endless slumber.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jayce knew he long since should have gone to sleep, but he was so close to a breakthrough. It’d have been a shame for him to rest now.
Viktor had left him hours ago, claiming he’d been tired, but it was clear to anyone who knew him that it hadn’t been the full truth. He’d been very clearly worn out by the excitement of the day, as well as the prospects of a new innovation in the crossing worlds of hextech and mobility aids.
He had pushed his body to the absolute limit.
Jayce also hadn’t seen him eat a single thing all day, but mysteriously Viktor’s stomach hadn’t growled once. That wasn’t entirely uncommon for either of them, all things considered.
They really needed a lab assistant.
Jayce was so lost in his thoughts, he almost didn’t realize he’d finally completed the equation the two of them had been working on since lunch. He’d had to do a double take after writing the final line.
x = 73.6957
After spending a good forty minutes checking over every single one of the 627 lines of code, Jayce fully sprinted out of the lab, turning through the halls and almost colliding with at least three late night studiers.
As he at long last reached Viktor’s door, he didn’t even knock before barging in. “Viktor! I figured it out! We can get started on the hexchair tomorrow morni-“
It was then that Jayce made the realization.
Viktor was nowhere to be seen.
“Viktor?” Jayce called as he slowly but surely made his way around the room, opening every cabinet and drawer in hopes of some sort of trace of his partner’s whereabouts.
In a last ditch effort, Jayce opened the door to the deck and immediately felt
something deep in his belly coil sickeningly as his heart started to race. He couldn’t throw up. He had to help Viktor.
Jayce lunged for the railing, abdomen contracting as he vomited thrice before promptly collapsing next to the lump of cold human.
Jayce checked his pulse, finding it concerningly slow.
“Viktor… no, no, no nonono…. Please, Vik. Don’t do this to me…not right now.”
He desperately wrapped the blanket tighter around his partner before scooping him up.
Having not bothered to close the door when he’d first gone through it, Jayce had no issue carrying Viktor back inside. He kicked the door closed behind him, and rushed towards the bed as quickly as possible.
As soon as Viktor was set atop the bed, Jayce removed the wet clothes, leaving him only in his underwear, before undressing himself in the same way. Jayce wrapped himself around Viktor’s freezing form, pulling all of the blankets up to cover them as he rubbed up and down Viktor’s side. As they lay there, Jayce whispered “please wake up, please wake up, please wake up…” over and over again into his partner’s cold, wet hair.
Viktor’s skin felt like a solid block of ice, and he was shaking so, so much. This episode would most certainly be detrimental to his already poor health.
The thought crossed his mind that Viktor may not wake up, but Jayce forced the bile it conjured back down into his stomach.
The queasy feeling didn’t seem willing to abate, and it was soon joined by cramps.
It was only a few minutes later that he felt Viktor’s shivering form shift against his chest.
Jayce let out a sob he hadn’t even realized had been building. He stuffed his head into the crook of Viktor’s neck and allowed himself to simply cry. Viktor’s body was still freezing, but he had moved.
That was more than he could ever ask for.
~~~~~~~~~
When Viktor awoke a few hours later, he felt oddly warm.
He and Jayce had slept together enough times that Viktor could accurately recognize his partner’s bare chest, but it left him wondering what had happened.
Had he failed?
Viktor really was not in the mood for another lecture.
He resorted to not moving, in hopes that Jayce wouldn’t notice and maybe they could address this in the morning.
It was then that he heard the small sob.
“Jayce..? Are you alright?”
Viktor’s voice was rougher than he’d anticipated, but he barely had time to think about it before Jayce said “Oh, thank god you’re ok, Viktor… please don’t ever do that again. Do you have any idea how scared I was?”
Humming into Jayce’s chest, Viktor said softly “I am sorry… I was not thinking clearly… Are you alright, Jayce?”
He nodded before mumbling “Just nauseous. I’m glad you’re alright, Viktor” and then promptly falling asleep, Viktor’s slender fingers carting through his hair.
Jaybe they would talk about it at a later date, or Jaybe not. Regardless of what happened, Viktor felt cared for, and that was all that he could really, truly ask for.