5 Times You Were Ambushed At Work + 1 Time You Were Ambushed At Home

by Silvers_Universe53

Summary:

alternative titles: 5 Times Your Family Showed Up at Your Work + 1 Time Your Team Showed Up at Your Family's Place or 5 Times Batfamily Members Showed Up at the BAU + 1 Time the BAU Showed Up at Wayne Manor

Or, your Bat family starts popping up at the office and your lives start overlapping.

Notes:

so i haven't written the whole thing yet but thought i'd start posting what i have and we'll go from there lol

Chapter 1: Tim Drake

“Who is that?” JJ whispered fervently to Emily as they stood by the doors of the bullpen and stared at the person slumped over your desk, black hair covering their face, presumably sleeping.

Emily shook her head. “No idea,” she whispered back. “You think they’re a friend or a foe?” she joked.

JJ muffled her snort. “Hopefully a friend, otherwise they might get smote.”

“Smited.”

“Smote.”

(The whole team knew you didn’t like other people touching your things, so who was this person sleeping on your desk??)

“Boo!”

(JJ and Emily would never admit that they’d flinched a bit when Derek popped up behind them. Derek would keep snickering and teasing them about it though.)

“What are we staring at?”

They both hushed him, and he held his hands up placatingly. JJ pointed to your desk where the mystery person still snored softly away.

“Who is that?” Derek exclaimed quietly.

“No clue,” JJ said.

“Think they’re dead? Have they even moved?” he asked.

JJ and Emily thought about it. “I don’t think I’ve seen them move yet,” JJ realized. Could they actually have a dead body in the bullpen? Lying on your desk?

“I hope they’re not dead, think of all the paperwork,” Emily said.

Just then the figure shifted (not dead then), and they could breathe easier. But whomever it was, didn’t wake up.

“At least they’re not dead.”

“What are we talking about?”

They all shushed Penelope.

“Look!” JJ pointed.

Penelope gasped. “Ooooh! Who is that?”

“That’s what we’ve been wondering!” Emily whispered conspiratorially.

“What are we wondering?” you asked mildly, as you walked up to the group.

“That!”

Everyone pointed to your desk, and you leaned around them to look, frowning.

You saw the sleeping figure and immediately your demeanour changed. “If anyone wakes him up, I will personally ensure your demise,” you promised in a low voice that travelled to everyone in the vicinity, but was quiet enough that it didn’t disturb … whomever was sleeping at your desk.

And with that, you stepped around the group and dropped your bag off at your desk, leaning over to check on your friend maybe?, before heading off and disappearing around a corner.

“Sorry, I’m late, what are we looking at?” Spencer said, joining them.

“Not what, boy wonder, who,” Derek said.

“Whom,” Spencer corrected.

“Whomst the fuck is that,” Emily hissed and pointed out the person sleeping at your desk. You’d never introduced him, he was still a stranger to them.

“A friend, presumably. Not a foe,” JJ joked.

You came back into view, carrying a chair you’d gotten from who knows where, and proceeded to set it up at your desk, next to the occupied one. You went about your normal morning routine, just extra cautious of the person drooling on your desk.

“Who’s the sleeping beauty?” Derek finally asked.

You looked up from your folders, then down at the person in question, then back up at your team. “This is … a friend. Brother. He doesn’t sleep well so anytime he’s actually unconscious is a win. … Hence the threats.”

Spencer took that explanation and continued on to his own desk to get to work and slowly the others did as well. (Derek, Emily and JJ had to promise to keep Penelope updated before she returned to her office.)

 

Everyone in the bullpen took your warning to heart and respected your request for quiet. There was hardly a whisper that went around amongst the computer keys clacking and papers being flipped.

Eyes wandered to you more than usual, trying to discern the identity of your sleeping ‘friend-brother’.

Derek was impressed at the way you were completely unphased with that fact that your sleeping friend was sprawled across most of your desk and how easily you adapted to work around him.

He was quietly snoring right in front of your computer, but you just fished your keyboard out from under one of his arms and acted like it was completely normal to walk in to find someone unconscious on your desk at work.

(Who knew, maybe for you, it was. But it was the first time it’d happened at the BAU. To their knowledge, at least.)

It was at least an hour later when the sleeper awoke.

Derek only noticed because of your soft and amused voice saying, “Afternoon, sleepy head.”

 

“Huh?”

Emily watched him lift his head, blinking slowly, and it reminded her of when Sergio, her cat, woke up.

You rapped your knuckles gently on the desk in front of him.

Emily didn’t know what that meant, or how your friend responded, but you started running your fingers through his hair and actually scratched his head.

Emily was too far away to hear if he purred.

 

“What’re you doing here?” you asked when you finally left Tim’s hair alone, continuing to work one-handed (albeit slowly).

“How long… you didn’t wake me up?!” Tim squawked when he finally noticed the time.

You raised your eyebrow at him.

He scowled. No one, and especially not you, would wake him up unless there was an emergency.

“I presumed if you had urgent work elsewhere you wouldn’t’ve let yourself fall asleep on my desk. So no, I did not bother waking you.”

Tim grumbled and lifted himself off your desk to sit up and stretch.

“Why did you come?”

He pushed a file over. Not one of your work ones. “This. Came to give it to you.”

“And I wasn’t here so you took a nap,” you teased, flipping through it.

Tim wrinkled his nose but didn’t otherwise argue.

He yawned again. “It should have everything in there.” He tapped the folder you’d placed back on the desk. “Call me if you need me to explain anything, though.”

You nodded. “Ok. You off to work now, then? Or something else?”

Tim shrugged. “Yah, something like that. I got some things I need to do.”

“Ok.”

Tim stood. “You coming out this weekend? Alfred’s trying to wrangle everyone for dinner Saturday.”

You considered it. “If I’m not called away for work, then yah, I’m in.”

“You’ll bring Jay?”

You levelled Tim an unimpressed look. “And no one else can?”

He gave you a sassy look back. “Don’t you two live together sometimes? Jay’s usually at your place or you’re at his. You hang out, you usually come together anyways.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes. “I’ll mention it.”

“Perfect, ok, see you later.”

“Yah, see ya.” You waved before he turned and exited the bullpen.

“So who was this friend of yours?” Derek asked, leaning back in his chair.

You rolled your eyes. “That was Tim. We know each other.”

“You don’t say,” Emily teased.

“Tim, huh?” JJ said.

“And ‘Alfred’ and ‘Jay’? Who’re they?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Also friends. Family.”

“We have a case,” Penelope said, walking back in. “Your sleeping friend is gone!”

You chuckled as you stood up. “Yes, you just missed him.” You wondered how lucky that was, whether Penelope would recognize CEO of Wayne Entreprises Tim Drake when he had messy hair and wore baggy clothes. Whether anyone else had given him a close enough look to recognize his features when posted in a Fortune 500 article.

“Aw!” she pouted. “Who was he?”

“Later, we have a case now, don’t we?” you deflected.

You heard Derek laugh from behind you and promise that he’d share all the details with her later, even if you didn’t.

This was going to become a problem, wasn’t it? Your two lives meshing and tangling together? Not that you were adamantly set against them overlapping, it was just that they usually didn’t. Gotham stayed in Gotham and Bats and FBI did not mix.

Well, looked like they were about to start merging now.

Notes:

thanks for reading!! i gnaw (affectionately) on comments <3

Chapter 2: Duke Thomas

Summary:

Duke shows up this time.

Notes:

i have no posting schedule so the next ones may be a while oop- they also seem to be growing in wc each time lol

again writing bats with non verbal languages that use facial expressions based on the fic The Silent Language by McJones (https://archiveofourown.org/works/50027419)

“Hey, you lost kid?” You heard Derek ask at his desk behind you. You barely paid attention, focusing on the report in front of you that you were trying to finish.

“Umm, nope, I’m good,” came the awkward reply. You knew that voice and spun around in your chair, panic spiking.

“Duke?” You were up and taking a few steps towards him immediately.

“Uh, hi?” He waved awkwardly, looking a bit embarrassed, a bit uncomfortable.

“What are you doing here?”

You analyzed him as he shifted uncomfortably on his feet. He was in his school uniform, backpack on. Slightly rumpled and evidently not at school. But he wasn’t in Gotham. It was two hours by car so unless he’d Zeta’d … but while possible, was unlikely. Your gaze caught on his fists and face, along with the slightly rumpled uniform, showed slight signs of having been in a scuffle. Your eyebrows creased, worried at what happened, but you couldn’t ask him out loud in an FBI building.

“I, uh, got lost?” It sounded more like a question. “But I remembered you worked here so I came here because I was lost.” He fidgeted with his hands.

“You eat breakfast? You hungry?” you asked.

He stared at you, bewildered by your change of subject. “Uh, sure?”

You ushered him towards the kitchenette in the corner of the bullpen, leaving most curious eavesdroppers behind.

“I, uh, Alfred made crepes this morning. They were good,” he mumbled.

“They are,” you agreed. Alfred was an incredible cook. “You want a cookie or something?”

“Sure?”

Duke hovered awkwardly behind you as you opened the freezer to grab your container of emergency cookies. You placed it on the counter before glancing back at Duke. “Whatever it is, I’ll try to help however I can, ok? You’re ok to come here anytime you need. Chocolate chip, ok?”

Duke blinked at the whiplash of your questions and nodded.

You took two out and put them on a plate in the microwave to defrost them. “Wanna tell me what’s going on?” you asked softly as you set the timer. You ok? What happened? you asked with your face.

Magic user. Teleportation. Landed nearby. Realized you would be here. Don’t know how to get back. he responded in turn with face twitches.

The microwave beeped and you took the plate out and offered it to Duke. “I’m glad you’re ok. So, you were on a field trip with your class and got lost?” you asked, offering an explanation to use if anyone asked.

Duke nodded, understanding your meaning, as he chowed down.

You let the silence grow between you as Duke finished inhaling the first cookie and started the second. You grabbed the plate from him and placed it in the dishwasher.

“You wanna go back? Or stay here? I can take you to my apartment, or give you a tour of the city?” you offered.

“You could take the day off?” Duke asked, disbelieving.

You shrugged. “Of course.”

He thought about it while he chewed on the last of his cookie. “Go back,” he decided. “I’m ok, it was just, I was lost and didn’t know where to go but I can-“ he cut himself off, not going to say 'Zeta tubes' in an open space (and definitely not a government one).

“Take the 'tube'?” you offered.

“Yah, yah, to get back, if you could get me to one? I’ve never been to DC, or I guess this is Quantico, and I remembered Tim saying you worked here and came here that time so I thought-“

“Duke,” you interrupted gently. “It’s ok. It’s totally ok that you’re here.”

He took a deep breath to recenter himself.

You two weren’t the closest, didn’t interact much in general. You understood his awkwardness of speaking the same language but never having spoken it with each other before, in more ways than one. But you were honoured that he’d come to you in this moment. He was still family and you’d do almost anything for your family.

“Sorry to interrupt-“ JJ poked her head around the corner “-but we have a case.”

“No worries, I’ll be there in a minute.”

She nodded and left.

Your other coworkers passed you on their way to the briefing room.

“You’ll be ok getting to school? I can always give you a note that said you were detained by FBI agents for grand theft auto or grand larceny or something,” you teased.

Duke rolled his eyes. “Do you even know what larceny means?” he sassed.

“Of course I do! I am a Federal Agent, thank you very much, ok, jk, just that you were lost and got help from a federal officer if they give you a hard time, now- do you want me to drive you back, or I can get another agent-”

“I can wait.”

“Ok, you can hang out at my desk, you remember which one it is? Good, and no overt, tied-back-to-me-or-you snooping, got it?”

“Aye, aye, Captain!”

You rolled your eyes fondly. “I’ll be back.” You headed to the conference room while Duke walked down the ramp back to your desk.

Intrigued glances were cast your way when you walked in, but no one said anything. (Yet. You just knew it was coming, especially if you were flying somewhere. There was no where to run on the jet.)

“Alright, go ahead, Garcia,” Hotch said.

 

When Hotch dismissed you all with his usual, “Wheels up in thirty”, you darted over to him.

“I know it’s unorthodox, but can I go to drop Duke off first? His class is on a field trip, and he got separated…”

“Of course, did you want to work the case here with Garcia?”

“No, no, I’ll be there in time, don’t worry,” you said and rushed out to your desk.

Duke stood up when he saw you and slung his backpack over a shoulder, you grabbed your go-bag. “Alright, come on, let’s go.”

 

You went down to your car and as soon as you were buckled in you set off to the nearest Zeta tube.

“You’ll be ok?” you asked as you were pulling up.

“Yep.”

“Ok, and if you need anything … a scary FBI agent to back your story … call me ok?”

Duke nodded. “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” you promised. “Ok, take care, see ya.”

“Bye.” He slipped out the door and jogged down the street.

You watched until he disappeared into the alleyway, finally pulling away from the curb and heading to the jet.

You got on the jet and had to do a sort of “walk of shame” where everyone stared at you, Derek and Emily smirking and just waiting to tease you.

“You’re late,” Derek teased.

You rolled your eyes, amusedly. “I am not late, I am precisely on time, like a wizard,” you said.

“It is exactly half an hour since Hotch said, ‘Wheels up in thirty’, we just got here before the thirty minutes were up,” Spencer said astutely, supporting you.

“See?” you said sassily as you sat down in an open chair.

“Ok, ok,” Derek conceded.

“Everything ok?” Rossi asked.

“Oh, yah. Yah, all fine.”

“Alright everyone, let’s get started.”

 

After going more in depth into the victimology, Hotch assigned you all tasks for when you landed, then he and Rossi “escaped” to their solo chairs in the back. Leaving you alone with your very nosy teammates.

“So, who was that?” Emily asked.

“Uh, family. Friend.” You nodded along to yourself.

“What happened?”

“Why was he there?”

“Why’d he come to see you?”

“He, uh, got separate from his class. On a field trip, remembered I worked there so came and found me. Smart kid. Brilliant, actually.”

“How old is he?” JJ asked.

“Where does he go to school?” Spencer chimed in.

You huffed an amused laugh. “He’s in high school in Gotham.”

“Gotham?” Derek raised his eyebrows.

“Yes, he’s a Gothamite like me.”

“And he got all the way out here?” JJ asked.

“Class field trip,” you repeated, then changed the subject, “so, which one of y’all’s gonna be the one to spill to Penelope first?”

Emily snickered and reached for the console to call her.

Chapter 3: Dick Grayson

Summary:

Dick shows up, and it's not what you expected.

(Meanwhile, your team takes the time to psychoanalyze profile observe you)

Notes:

i feel like i lore/info-dumped a lot here but oh well i liked writing it :))

edited 06/23/25: minor changes to Dick's dialogue bc it needed more Dick-isms but im only mostly confident they fit lol

“Ummm…” Penelope came bustling up to your team, chatting in the hallway, tablet in hand, a frown on her face.

“What is it?” you asked. The rest of the team turned to look at her.

“I think you should see this, sir,” she said and held the tablet up to Hotch who took it with knitted brows. “It’s the bullpen.”

“What the hell?” Derek said, as he and your other coworkers crowded around to see the screen.

“This is current?” Hotch asked.

“Yes, the live feed from the bullpen.”

“Oh my god,” JJ exclaimed, “they could fall, how are they doing that?”

“How did they get in here?” Spencer asked.

“Was anyone with them?” Rossi added.

“I don’t know,” Penelope said as she took her tablet back from Hotch. “I haven’t looked yet, I thought you should know as soon as possible.”

You stepped closer to Penelope to see the screen.

“Thank you, Garcia,” Hotch said.

Three agents were in the corner of the bullpen trying to … You recognized those flips. My circus, my monkey. You swore internally and sprinted away.

Everyone watched you run like your car was on fire. What…?

Unless you knew this acrobat flipping around the bullpen.

They glanced at each other. And rushed after you.

 

You slowed to a run and then a jog as you approached the harried agents trying to wrangle a, yes, a very young looking, child-sized Dick Grayson.

“I got this, don’t worry,” you said. They may not have believed you, but they were more than willing to abandon their futile attempts and quickly dispersed. You were left alone in the corner facing an upside-down Dick, doing a handstand on the banister of the platform hallway by the conference room.

“Well, hello there. You look a little young to be an FBI agent here,” you said dryly.

Dick grinned at you. “Hi!” He turned around and walked a bit up the banister, then flipped to his feet again.

“What’re you doing here, hm?” You followed him slowly on the lower level, giving him his space and trusting he’d always land … well, the way he intended, and not fall on accident. But you were there just in case, you couldn’t help but worry. Especially because you had no idea why Dick looked to currently have the body of a young child.

“Everyone else came, thought I would too.” He did a cartwheel and then flipped back onto his hands and shrugged upside-down somehow. Almost a half-push up, given that he was standing on his hands. “Wanted to see you at work.”

There was a lot to unpack there, and a lot he wasn’t saying (for example, why and how he came to have the body of something of an 8-year-old? You hated guessing ages.), but you let it go for now, if Dick didn’t want to talk about it, he wouldn’t, so you wouldn’t press.

 

Derek was the first to the bullpen, and he stood near the entrance and watched you dismiss the other agents and approach the kid as his teammates joined him.

One of yours, then.

“I’m guessing not a stranger,” Rossi said.

“Another family member?” JJ joked seriously.

They watched you talk with whomever it was. Hotch, observing too, didn’t shoo them off to their desks for being too nosy yet.

“Where does someone learn to do that?” Derek hissed incredulously after they watched your kid do another flip and land to balance on their hands.

“And how does anyone let their kid do that?” Emily whispered back.

“Actually-” Spencer started.

“I’m more surprised another one of them has come to visit,” Penelope said.

Derek wasn’t sure either how you looked so calm with that kid of yours walking on their hands and doing flips on the banister. You never flinched, just shadowed them slowly, but he caught some movement from you, like you were always anticipating, always ready, just in case the kid did fall, you would be ready to catch them. But you stood there, confident that they wouldn’t. He had to wonder who this kid was to you for you to be so sure and carefree and nonchalant about the whole situation. He was certain Hotch wouldn’t be half as calm as you if it was Jack up there, or JJ with Henry.

“We probably shouldn’t be by now,” JJ added with a small laugh.

“We’ve heard so many names mentioned, but an exact definition of ‘I have a big family’ and ‘there’s a lot of us’ has never been established,” Rossi said amusedly.

“I’ve seen the desk photos, but there’s no discernible faces in any of them,” Spencer mentioned.

 

“Ok, well, I’m here now.” You hedged a bet that your team had probably followed you by now and was watching you. “And my coworkers don’t know you and are likely having mini heart attacks from watching you do your acrobatics,” you said, bemused.

Dick continued walking on his hands, flipping to his feet, twisting, flipping and cartwheeling back and forth.

You followed him. “I know you gotta move around, buddy, but at work, at the office here, the banister isn’t the best place for it. C’mon down, you hungry?”

He landed on his feet once more, tilted his head in thought, then proceeded to launch himself into your chest.

You prepared yourself and caught him without difficulty or getting pushed off balance, shifting him against your side, arms under his thighs.

“Food?” he asked.

“Yah, buddy,” you said amusedly

“Ok.”

“Who, uh, who else knows about … this?” you asked.

He shrugged. You figured you wouldn’t be getting an explanation today, if ever. Then his eyes caught onto something behind you, by the doors, your team, you presumed.

What you weren’t expecting, was for Dick to wiggle out of your arms like a cat that didn’t want to be held and race over to team. You spun around to follow but immediately lost him in the desks thanks to his extremely short stature. You swore silently and chased after him, hoping he was in fact heading to your teammates.

“Dick!”

Your exasperated call was met with more than a few side eyes and frowns and you realized how your exclamation of “Dick!” might have been perceived out of context.

The little rascal (affectionate) was already blabbering to your team when you got there.

 

Penelope loved you. She truly did. But she was a gossiper and information collector at heart, and you were such a difficult person to get information out of!! You usually answered all her fishing questions, but you managed to do so in a way that gave her very little information, crumbs!

She knew that, being from Gotham, you held important information close to you. You’d mentioned offhandedly before that corrupt officers would use personal information, from chatting, from photographs on desks, to extort people. Hence the artistic pictures of a heart made from the shadows of different hands, a gargoyle apparently from Gotham, people standing against the backdrop of a sunset, indiscernible from the contrast of light, and the back of a couch, only heads leaning together visible, their hair red and black intertwining, that decorated your desk among others. No recognizable features, no distinguishable faces.

So, when your family/friends/important people/loved ones (you were still vague or hesitant about the details sometimes) started showing up, Penelope was secretly thrilled. Of course, she worried for the reasons they showed up, but they all seemed in good health, and never lead to a separate case for the team, so Penelope rejoiced in the fact that you had no choice but to share information about yourself and your family.

You still didn’t share lots, but now Penelope had so much more information than before. Names, faces, seeing you relax more than usual and smile the softest smiles she’d ever seen from you! She backed off when you made it clear you wouldn’t share anymore information, but she couldn’t help but press when she found an opening, she just wanted to get to know you more deeply. And if was through the intermediary of your family members showing up out of the blue at your work? She would wring everything she could out of those impromptu visits.

This time she was unknowingly the first to find them. Like the rest, they’d shown up in the bullpen, but the team wasn’t there this time to ask why they were there, who they were there for. Penelope, by some luck, had had the building’s camera feeds scrolling through on one of her computers, just barely paying attention to it. She’d glanced at the right time when a few of the agents started congregating in one corner and she’d looked closer.

There’d been a child doing acrobats on the banister near the back wall of the bullpen. What in the world … Penelope didn’t have a clue as to how to approach this situation, so she’d decided to make it someone else’s problem and went to her boss. Besides, Hotch had a kid, he’d know what to do!

And then lo and behold, when you saw what was on the screen you’d run off, leaving the team in confusion for a moment until they realized that this must be another one of your family members and chased after you.

They watched you from across the room, seemingly doing nothing to contain or restrain the kid from doing gymnastics on a banister. Penelope’s heart thundered in her chest as she thought they’d fall so many times but never did. She was also impressed when you didn’t move an inch from the impact of the child flinging themself into your arms. She giggled when they wiggled out like a fish and disappeared from view thanks to all the desks between you.

He disappeared from your sight too apparently, because you swore out loud, causing a bunch of their eyebrows to raise at your response.

The kid popped up in front of them with the biggest grin and started talking.

About them. He knew them.

“You must be JJ, I’ve heard you’re a fantastic mom and really good at talking to people-”

To say this little guy was charming, would be an understatement. The cutest cutie-patootie to ever cutie-patootie. An energetic and polite sweetie-pie. Penelope’s heart swooned at their big grin.

“-and you’re Emily Prentiss, you’re a mutili- multiling, you can speak lots of languages like us, asterous!”

Emily raised her eyebrows, partly confused but mostly flattered.

“-and you’re Dr. Reid, my brother’s read your papers, he says you’re really smart and remember lots, he thinks you’re really cool-”

Penelope had to fight the urge to squeal when she thought she noticed Spencer blushing from the praise.

You finally got through the labyrinth of desks to join them. “Dick,” you huffed again quietly, but loud enough that they all heard you. Your kid either didn’t or just ignored you to keep introducing them to themself.

“-and you must be Derek Morgan, you can kick down doors, and you’re really nice and traught and kick-ass-”

Penelope heard JJ let out a quiet breath and Derek cough at hearing a child swear in front of them.

“-and you’re David Rossi, you wrote a book, pretty interesting stuff, that's so asterous-”

Rossi’s smile seemed to freeze on his face as everyone was left to wonder if that meant that this kid had been allowed to read a book about gruesome serial killers??

“-and you must be Mr. Boss Man-”

You looked like you wanted to sink through the floor to escape the situation.

“-everyone agrees that you’re great at being really scary! And that you’re a great dad, and you must be the great Penelope Garcia, tech wizard extraordinaire-”

Ok, colour her flattered, this kid could ask for anything and she would get it for them.

“-and really smart like b- like, o- our friend-”

Penelope had to raise her eyebrows at the almost slip up, was this kid hiding something?

“-which is saying something because she’s fantastic, so you must be fantastic too! And I’ve heard that you make awesome cupcakes, but I haven’t got to try one yet, even if I was promised one.” They shot a glare at you.

Penelope giggled. Oh, she was totally going home to bake some cupcakes to send home with you for your kid.

“She hasn’t brought some to work in a while, bud, and the last time I tried you were … out of town and it wouldn’t keep,” you defended.

“So you ate it,” they pouted.

Your mouth twitched as you tried to hold back a smile. “No, not me.”

They gasped. “You gave it to Jay?!”

(This ‘Jay’ character again … hmmmm)

“Sorry,” you said but you were still fighting off a full smile.

Your friend turned away from you and crossed their arms, huffing dramatically.

There was a long enough pause where Penelope thought Hotch was finally going to shoo them off back to work, before you asked, “Did you introduce yourself yet?”

The kid shrugged, giving up on being angry at you and leaped at you again. You caught him easily and tucked him against your side.

“Dick! Everyone, this is-”

“Dick! Short for Richard, English is weird.” He grinned toothily at the team. “I know everyone already.”

Ah. Not swearing then.

“He’s … another, family member,” you confirmed awkwardly.

“Nice to meet you, little man,” Derek said.

“Nice to meet you,” JJ said.

“Wonderful to meet another member of the mysterious family of our dear agent here,” Penelope teased.

“Yeah, yeah.” You rolled you eyes fondly.

“Alright everyone, back to work,” Hotch finally said, heading to his office after a stern look at his team. Rossi followed to his own office.

Everyone dispersed soon after, with little waves to you and the boy in your arms.

Penelope reluctantly followed in suit, leaving the bullpen for her office with one last glance at you and your brother(?). She was so glad she got to meet your family.

 

Your teammates left for their respective offices and desks, and you wondered what to do with the small child in your arms. “You want hot chocolate?”

“Yah!”

You chuckled fondly at his enthusiastic cheer and started heading to the kitchenette. “Ok, ok, just remember that this is an FBI workplace with lots of people working so let’s not be too loud, ok? Sorry, bud.”

He sighed and leaned back dramatically, so far that you thought he might slip out of your hold, but he righted himself again and whispered, “ok.”

You chuckled again at his antics and pressed a kiss to his head before placing him on the counter. You went about getting things ready to make hot chocolate, setting the kettle to boil water, grabbing two mugs and filling Dick’s with the powder, yours with your favourite.

“Stay here, alright? I’ll be back, just gotta talk to Hotch for a minute, no shenanigans, ok?”

He gave you an innocent look that you didn’t believe for one minute.

“I don’t care how small you are, I will kick your ass if you get me fired.”

He stuck his tongue out at you.

You raised an unimpressed eyebrow and he giggled. “Fine, fine, no major shenanigans.”

You sighed, that was probably the best you’d get out of him. With one last glance at him, little legs swinging over the edge of the counter, you rushed over to Hotch’s office and knocked.

“Come in.”

“Hi, sorry about this, I swear when I applied, I didn’t think my family was part of the deal.” You laughed awkwardly.

Hotch looked at you consideringly for a moment and nodded. “While it’s not exactly…”

“Welcome behaviour? A good look for the Bureau?” you joked weakly.

“Precedent,” he said. “They shouldn’t be sent away if they’ve come here for … help, or support. Just keep making sure it doesn’t get in the way of your work.”

“Of course, thank you, sir. I also had a question?”

He nodded. “Go ahead.”

“I don’t want to send Dick away, and he’s a sweet kid, really. He just needs … space. To move. I was wondering if I could work in one of the conference rooms, just down the hall. So he’d have space to move and run around and be loud. I can still work, I promise.”

Hotch thought about it, considering your request. “We’ll text you if you’re needed out here. Ask Garcia if you need help with a laptop.”

“Thank you, thank you, sir!”

(You were gone before he could remind you to just call him ‘Hotch’.)

 

You got back to Dick in the nick of time. Just as the water finished boiling and Dick flipped off the counter.

“I’m pretty sure that counts as a shenanigan,” you said dryly as you finished his hot chocolate and your own drink.

Dick gasped and put a hand to his chest. “Me? Committing shenanigans? I would never. Besides, I promised no major shenanigans, not no shenanigans.”

You rolled your eyes, a fond smile on your face. “Here you go-” you handed Dick his hot chocolate “-be careful, it’s hot, don’t burn your tongue.”

He didn’t listen to you.

You sighed but knew arguing would be futile and herded him down the ramp to your desk. You grabbed the files and things you needed. “C’mon buddy, let’s go find a space where you can move around in, yah?”

You left the bullpen, Dick on your tail, ignoring your coworkers (un)subtle stares, you were sure they’d corner you later to ask. You headed down the hall to an empty conference room and set you stuff down on the table.

“This ok with you?”

Dick looked around, assessing. “It’ll do.” He sat at the table to drink the rest of his hot chocolate.

“Wonderful.” You pulled out your phone to text Penelope and ask her about using a laptop for the day, then pulled some blank papers out of your pile and pushed them towards Dick, along with a few pens.

“You can play in here, draw, sleep, run around, whatever, ok? Just let me know if you need to go out, it’ll look weird if you’re wandering the halls alone, yah? You need anything?”

He thought about it a moment. “Nope. I'm whelmed.”

Penelope walked in with a laptop.

“Oh, thank you, you’re the best!”

“No problem!” She set it on the table and helped you get it ready.

Dick finished his hot chocolate and hopped off his chair to do cartwheels around the room.

Penelope watched mesmerized for a moment, before blinking and looking back at you. “You’re all good then?”

“I think so, thanks so much for this.”

“It’s my pleasure!” she smiled.

“If I need help, I’ll scream” you joked.

“I’ll keep an ear out,” she teased back, then left, with one last look at the still tumbling Dick Grayson.

You finally sat down and started to work, drinking from your mug and keeping an eye on Dick but leaving him be.

Eventually he tired and sat down. He pulled the paper and pens closer to start doodling, humming to himself.

You worked until lunchtime, when you finally saved you work and closed your computer. “You ready to eat lunch? We can get ice cream for dessert?”

“Ice cream?!”

“Yah, bub, after lunch I’ll take you to this ice cream place nearby, it’s got a good selection of flavours. And for lunch there’s a few different places nearby to choose from. That ok with you?”

“Ok!”

“Alright, let’s go.” You stood up, grabbing some folders, and held out your hand, offering. “I gotta go hand some papers in, we’ll have to stop by the bullpen.”

Dick nodded and walked alongside you.

You stopped by your desk and looked at Dick. Stay here, no causing problems, ok?

He rolled his eyes dramatically and threw himself into your chair.

You glanced between Derek, Spencer and Emily. You pointed two fingers to your eyes, then at them. Watch him.

“No problem.”

You nodded and left Dick spinning in your chair and dashed to Hotch’s office, files in hand. You knocked and waited for his “Come in”, before pushing the door open.

“Files, and just letting you know I’m taking Dick out for lunch, we’ll be back in an hour, text me if I’m needed or a case comes in?”

He nodded, smiling slightly. “We’ll call if we need you. Have fun.”

You smiled. “Thank you.”

You popped your head back in and he looked back up from his work. “Um, the whole… scary-boss thing? You’re very good at. Um, in a compliment way. Just so you know.”

Then you left before he could respond or fire you.

You picked up Dick from your desk and took him to a little diner nearby. Afterwards you walked down the street to get ice cream, carrying your treats as you walked in companionable silence.

“Hey,” Dick said your name quietly.

You glanced at him, he was staring at the sidewalk as you walked. “Yah?”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

“For everything, I mean. Not just, not just for the ice cream, for, for-”

“Hey,” you interrupted softly, and he looked at you. “Anytime. For anything. Can you … tell me anything about, uh, the de-aging? You don’t have to, of course, just, does anybody else know, are you in danger, how long this’ll last? If there’s anything I can do to help…?” you trailed off.

“Thanks.” He smiled at you before dropping it. He scuffed his shoes on the sidewalk. “No one else knows yet. I … I didn’t want to worry anyone, and the others had come here so I thought…”

“Well, I’m honoured. And very thankful I have a great team,” you laughed softly.

“They seem pretty traught.”

“They are.”

You continued on your way back to the office.

“It’s been a minute since I was at the Manor, how is everyone?”

The question energized Dick, and he rambled on about Damian’s art and the animals, Duke’s achievements, Steph’s shenanigans and Tim’s work. He was such a proud older brother, he loved them so much.

But he was apparently ruled by his de-aged body and was soon losing energy.

“Piggyback?” you offered after you’d thrown away your ice cream wrappers.

“You don’t-”

“I want to, c’mon, barnacle me.”

He grinned and leapt onto you, climbing like a monkey onto your back and latching on like a barnacle.

“Back to work we go!”

Dick seemed to nod off on the way and once in the elevator to your floor, you slowly and cautiously shifted him around to hold him in front of you.

You stepped out onto your floor and headed immediately to the conference room where you’d taken up residence for the day.

You sat down at the table, adjusting Dick so he seemed comfortable in his sleeping state, and pulled the laptop closer and went back to work.

 

Emily’d seen you leave for lunch earlier with your little energetic friend. She didn’t mean to keep an eye out but … she couldn’t help it. You were so cute with your family, you were rarely so open and soft in their presence (to be fair you were coworkers so you didn’t really encounter moments where you could relax), Emily enjoyed seeing this different part of you, sue her.

It was unintentional that she was by the doors to the bullpen and had a perfect view of the elevator doors when you finally returned. Emily’s heart melted at the sight of you carrying the little boy against your chest.

You turned immediately to head to the room you’d been working in for the morning and Emily ran to her teammates and hissed at them to come with her. She didn’t wait to explain and snuck down the hallway and peeked through the window.

“What is it?” JJ asked as she and Derek walked up.

“Look!” Emily whispered-exclaimed and pointed to where you were sitting at the table, working, with Dick sleeping on you.

JJ cooed and Derek smiled at the sweet sight before them.

Suddenly you looked up at them and raised an eyebrow.

JJ smirked, Derek waved, and Emily grabbed her phone to snap a few pics.

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head, and turned your focus back to your work.

Dick shifted on your lap and your arm went up automatically to hover until he settled, only then set your arm back down.

Emily took a few more photos and sent them to their group chat. (Penelope immediately responded with a string of affectionate and heart eyed emojis.)

They left you alone and returned to their desks.

 

Dick eventually woke up from his nap, but he stayed on your lap a bit longer, dragging his drawings closer to continue sketching.

When his energy returned, he hopped off your lap to continue his gymnastics and acrobats and burn energy.

At the end of the day, JJ and Derek, dragging along one (1) Dr. Spencer Reid, came by to say goodbye (and maybe spy a little), as you were piling up the last of your things. Penelope popped in right after and took the laptop from you as you thanked her profusely. You ran into Emily on your way through the bullpen and she wished you two a good rest of the day as she left. You left Dick at your desk to entertain himself spinning on your chair for a bit and waved at Rossi who was just closing his office door as you knocked on Hotch’s.

“See if you can’t get him to go home to his own kid,” he joked, and you huffed a laugh.

“Bye, Rossi.”

“Come in.”

You entered and dropped your reports on his desk. “You haven’t started packing up yet?” you asked amusedly with a raised eyebrow.

He sighed. “The paperwork never ends.”

You grimaced in sympathy. “No, it’ll always be there on your desk. So, you should go home to your son and ignore it for a while.”

A startled laugh escaped his lips quietly and he shook his head. “I’m almost finished.”

You nodded and moved to lean against the side table by the window to keep an eye on Dick. (Doing a handstand on your chair. You knew he knew his limits and could handle himself, but your heart still beat a little faster.)

Hotch realized you hadn’t left yet and lifted his head to frown at you.

You raised your eyebrows. “I’m not leaving til you leave.” Knowing it wouldn’t take too much convincing when you had a young Dick Grayson on your side.

He sighed and closed the folder in front of him and you grinned as he shut off his computer.

You waited for him, to make sure he would actually leave and walked down the ramp together. You picked up Dick at your desk (more like caught, when he flung himself into your arms making you laugh and press a kiss to the top of his head affectionately).

You stepped into the elevator and Hotch pressed the button for the bottom floor.

“Did you have a good day at work?” Hotch asked in a serious tone, looking at Dick.

“Offices are so boring without anything fun to do, they're so not whelming,” Dick sighed dramatically.

“Just wait until you grow up and have your own adult job,” you grinned at him, teasing.

He brought a hand to his chest, looking offended. “I will never grow up, how dare you!”

You and Hotch chuckled at his antics.

“Alright, alright, I believe you, apologies.”

The elevator doors opened, and you exited.

You waved goodbye, walking to your respective vehicles.

“You stayin’ at my place? Or someone else’s? You wanna call Wally? Donna? Or visit Z?”

Dick was quiet as you unlocked your car.

“Think about it, ok? I’ll take you to mine unless you tell me otherwise, and you can stay as long as you need.”

Dick agreed quietly.

“Ok, now, sorry buddy, but I’m putting you in the backseat-”

“Hey!”

“I know! I know you’re not really a kid right now, but your body is, and the front seats aren’t as safe for smaller bodies.”

“Humph!” Dick grumped but allowed you to place him in the backseat.

“Seat belt?”

“Yah, yah.” He pulled it down as you closed the door behind him and went around to the driver’s seat.

“I’m here for you however I can, you know that? Whatever I can do for you, even as an adult.”

Dick was quiet.

“Even when you’re regular sized you can still jump on me, crawl on me, cuddle. I like cuddles. And feeding people. Just, ya know, be aware that you’ll have much more mass, force and acceleration when you have an adult body, so try not to bowl me over, ok?” Everyone deserved to hear reassurances out loud. You wanted to make sure he knew you loved him.

“Ok.”

“Perfect. Wanna have a movie night? If you’re up for it?”

“Hm, ok, but I’m picking the movie.”

“Deal.”

Notes:

thanks for reading! i gnaw (affectionately) on comments <3

Chapter 4: Stephanie Brown

Summary:

In which Steph joins the BAU and is a menace to your sanity, you have a bat-habit of having so many things stored in your pockets and your team has no idea where all these snacks keep coming from.

Notes:

thanks for your patience, i hope you still have more bc ch's 5 and 6 might take a while between not being fully written yet, work, visa applications and moving to another country for a work/study program later in the year and all the rest of life's usual chaos, anyways hope you enjoy <3<3

i think i successfully wrote a case fic without writing a case fic mwahahahaha all of the shenanigans without the brainwork >:)

those of y'all who read my CM x DC week fics will recognize most of the end bit from my day 2 fic, this is just further expanded with minor edits throughout

still writing the bats with non verbal languages that use facial expressions and bird chirps based on the fics The Silent Language and It's All Dick's Fault (Pitch- Nov 16th) by McJones (https://archiveofourown.org/works/50027419 & https://archiveofourown.org/works/44980822)

When Steph showed up at your work, you were worried.

She was a student at Gotham U and you were 99% sure she had classes on Thursdays. And yet. Here she was, strolling into the bullpen with a bright smile and stopping at your desk.

“Hey!”

“Hi.” You did a quick visual scan, and she didn’t seem to have been in a physical altercation recently, like Duke had when he’d shown up. No limping, visible scratches, scrapes, bruises. “You come to see what the professional life at the Bureau is like?” you asked dryly, probing.

She shrugged and moved to sit on your desk. You slid some papers out of her way before she hopped up.

You tapped the desk beside her twice, asking if she was ok.

She rolled her eyes and responded that she was fine, no danger.

Satisfied (but still a bit worried, she was family, how could you not be, when she was here with you instead of in class?), you went back to work.

Steph popped in her earbuds and scrolled on her phone beside you.

After a minute you sat back up and leaned over to open one of your drawers. “Snack?” you asked.

She looked down at your options and grabbed an energy bar.

“Snacks? Don’t we get any?” Derek teased behind you.

You tossed him his favourite fruit gummies in response and caught Emily and Spencer glancing over.

“Seriously? Thanks!” Derek immediately tore open the package.

You held up different bars for them, offering, then tossed them at their desks when they nodded, rolling their eyes. (Did you try to always have snacks you teammates and family would like on you at all times? Maybe.)

You grab one for yourself, shut the drawer and get back to work.

 

A little while later, it was evident that Steph was feeling better when she started trying to embarrass you in front of your coworkers. Unfortunately for you, and hilariously to the team, Steph was a menace (affectionate) to your sanity. And she was great at picking her moments.

She knew that you and Jason had a love language of trading quotes and had made it a game to finish each other’s quotes, using this against you. She made it her game to catch you unawares, when you were half zoned out, concentrated on something else so you’d reply automatically, out of habit.

You were finishing a report when Steph whispered, “Do you dance?”

“Not if I can help it,” you said mindlessly.

You didn’t think anything of it, engrossed as you were in your work, until she spoke up again.

“Virginity breeds mites.”

“Much like cheese,” you finished.

You immediately heard muffled snorts and laughter around you, and you realized what you had said. You looked up at Steph in mock betrayal as she cackled along with everyone.

“Was that from Shakespeare’s All’s Well That Ends Well?” Spencer spoke up.

You groaned.

“Yep!” Steph responded cheerfully.

“And the first one was Pride and Prejudice, right?” Emily asked.

“Yah,” you sighed.

“And you’re quoting random classics because…?” Derek chuckled.

“Because Steph is a menace to society.”

“With pleasure.”

You returned to your work and Steph went back to scrolling on her phone, everyone taking the hint and returning to their own work, but not without so many more questions as to who your friend was (likely another family member) and why they were there (they’d probably never get a straight answer).

 

“We have a case.”

You looked up and saw Hotch gesturing for you all to join him in the briefing room. You tapped the desk twice as you stood.

Steph glanced at you, and you signed that you’d be in a meeting for a bit, you’d be back. She nodded and you followed your coworkers up to the room.

“Chattanooga, Tennessee has a spree killer on their hands.”

 

After Hotch dismissed you all with a “Wheel’s up in 20”, you hung back to speak with him.

“Question for you,” you started.

“What is it?”

“My, uh, sister, friend, family, Steph, is here. She’s a, uh, psych major at Gotham U. I know it’s unconventional and probably not something we do here, but I’m gonna ask anyways,” you let out an awkward laugh and continued, “Could she be like a student helper, like do a work study, shadow us, sort of thing? Just sticking to mostly precinct things, she’s a great kid, whip-smart, she’s a menace but she’s wonderful, she can be professional, makes bad jokes but won’t interfere or disrupt our work and I think she could learn a lot. So, uh, could this be a ‘bring you kid to work day’ moment?”

You couldn’t tell what Hotch was thinking after your word-vomit.

“To be honest I want to keep her close right now, I’m kinda worried about her, I know it’s unusual and we see lots of terrible things and you probably don’t want ‘outsiders’ to see that, but in her defense she’s from Gotham so she’s already seen stuff,” you finished your spiel and rocked back on your heels, fidgeting with your hands.

“She wouldn’t go anywhere alone, always with someone accompanying her, she would mostly stay at the precinct, observing, not participating, and if I decide she’s off the case she stays at the hotel or goes home.”

Your eyes widened, you hadn’t actually expected Hotch to agree to it. “Understood.”

“I would like to talk with her as well, to see if it’ll be a good fit, a good idea. Did you bring up this idea with her beforehand?”

You shook your head. “No, so she might say no, but I wanted to check with you first.”

He nodded and followed you back to your desk. Steph looked up as you approached.

You signed to ask her if she wanted to join you.

She took her earbuds out.

“Steph, Aaron Hotchner. Hotch, Steph.”

“Nice to meet you.” He reached a hand out to shake.

She shook his hand. “Nice to meet you too, Mr. Boss Man.”

You inhaled sharply and regretted everything. (Not really, but you thought you might not survive Steph, the menace that she was (affectionate). You’d never admit it to her, but she could likely hands-down beat you in any sort of match, be it wits, fists or jokes. Besides, she knew it anyways.)

Hotch quirked an eyebrow but otherwise didn’t react. “I’m told you’re currently studying psychology in university. Does shadowing our team on a case interest you?”

“Yes, sir,” Steph responded quickly.

“You won’t miss classes?”

“Nope!” she lied, grin on her face.

Hotch nodded. “You’ll stick with one of our agents at all times and follow their directions. You will observe, but participation will be limited. You’ll tell someone where you’re going, so we know where you are at all times and if I deem it necessary you will stay in the hotel until the case is over. Otherwise, I’ll send you home, understood? This is not a game, it is peoples’ lives at stake, yours included, these are for your own safety.”

“Yes, sir!” Steph saluted.

Out of the corner of your eye you thought Hotch’s lips might’ve twitched into a smile, but it was gone before you could be sure.

“Well, if you’d like to shadow the BAU on this case, here is your official invitation. We will be flying out shortly so if you don’t have any extra clothes on you in short notice, we can arrange a store run or something when we get there so you can pick up necessities.”

“I was planning on stealing stuff but sure,” Steph shrugged.

“Mine,” you clarified for Hotch’s sake. “But yes, we’ll figure something out if you wanna come do a ‘work study’ with us. You could write a paper about it for class,” you joked.

Steph stuck her tongue out at you then released a blinding grin upon Hotch. “Sure! I’m in! Let’s go catch some bad guys!”

“She will be serious about it when necessary.”

“Yes, sir!” She saluted again and your mouth twitched to a smile.

“Alright, let’s go.”

Steph let out a whoop that made you laugh as you grabbed your go-bag and followed your team out, Steph by your side.

 

“A private jet! Wicked!”

You couldn’t tell how much of that was genuine, knowing for a fact Steph had been in the Bat-plane more than a few times.

Steph dutifully followed along to your on-flight briefing and further victimology and you silently answered all her questions she signalled at you.

When the briefing was done, your teammates converged on Steph to pester her with questions which she was happy to answer.

You paid attention in the back of your mind, expecting Steph to eventually come after you again, but turned most of your focus to the file in front of you and continued flipping through.

 

“Oh yah, then Cass was like-”

“Wait, who’s Cass?” JJ asked.

“Sister. Second oldest,” you replied as you flipped a page in your folder. Spencer blinked, he hadn’t realized you were paying that much attention to them.

“And you…?” Your teammates frowned at Steph.

She laughed. “Oh no, I don’t know what you’ve been told but I am not one of them. ‘Sides, us two?” Steph thumbed between herself and you. “We’re the in-laws of the family.”

You finally looked up from your folder to tilt your head at her. “As opposed to the Outlaws?” you deadpanned.

Steph snickered at your inside joke then turned back to the team. “I’ve just been emotionally adopted by my financial father-figure. I like to steal his money sometimes. My real dad is still alive, he just sucks balls. Anyways, as I was saying-”

She continued rambling on, but Spencer could tell Morgan, Prentiss and JJ were only half paying attention, in shock from the whiplash of information Steph just shared with them. Spencer wondered what your (unofficial) family tree looked like.

 

They all noticed different things about you and Steph during the case.

At the precinct, Derek watched as she flung her legs around to sit upside down, feet dangling over the back of the chair, head hanging off the seat. She was whistling or chirping, making some sort of quiet sounds with her mouth, bird-like and quiet enough that it wasn’t distracting, still noticeable because it was so out of place. Her hands danced in the air. Derek wasn’t sure how much of it was stimming and how much was signing.

You worked next to her seated normally, (Derek wondered if you wanted to join Steph in her weird sitting, it wasn’t unusual for you to sit weirdly or lie on the floor, but often only in the presence of the team), humming back occasionally.

He got the sense that, somehow (he didn’t understand it), you were communicating, without words or … well, he didn’t know enough of any sign language to know if you were using one, but … he had to wonder just how well you knew each other for you to have such good communication. It intrigued him to say the least. Another puzzle to be added to the mystery of you and your family.

You pulled out an energy bar from your pocket and offered it to her, she declined. You opened it and ate it yourself.

He turned back to his own work.

 

Emily was working on victimology with JJ when Steph stood up and made her way innocently over to where you and Spencer were discussing the geological profile, gesturing to the map in front of you. She watched Steph creep up behind you and wondered what she was up to. She didn’t have to wait too long to find out.

Steph sprung at you while you were in the middle of talking about dumpsites, and Emily was brought back to the time Dick had visited and had kept launching himself into your arms. But he was a child, Steph was a grown adult. There was one moment where Emily thought you were about to be bowled over into the board, but you just twisted slightly, bringing your arms out to wrap around Steph as she koala’d around your torso. You didn’t blink or pause your conversation with Reid as you wrapped your arms under Steph’s thighs and adjusted her against your side.

Emily stared. What the hell just happened???

Even Reid had to take a moment before he responded. You kept discussing the case, Steph even asking questions, offering input, as you held her on your hip, as if it was completely normal to have someone jump into your arms and carry them around. Steph pulled out fruit snacks from one of your pockets and started popping them in her mouth.

Emily looked at JJ and widened her eyes in a What the hell is going on? expression.

JJ raised her eyebrows back. Emily took that to mean, it was your weird family.

 

On the way to the hotel one night, Steph got you to say, “More of your conversation would infect my brain” to Rossi (in response to “Good e’en to your Worships”, from Coriolanus, Shakespeare); luckily, he just chuckled and didn’t say anything.

 

Hotch glanced behind him and his frown deepened when he realized Brown was no longer behind him. His eyes scanned the precinct, and he caught a flash of purple across the room. Sure enough, there she was in her bright purple hoodie, kneeling next to a tearful kid.

She started talking to them and he realized that she was trying to cheer them up. His frown softened as he watched the kid start to giggle and wipe away their tears.

Brown pulled a lollipop out of her pocket and hold it out in offering. (So it wasn’t just you with Mary Poppins-like pockets and carrying snacks around everywhere…) The kid took it and after a few more words, she stood up, gave a little wave and left.

Hotch looked back towards the interview room and a few seconds later he felt Brown pop up behind him. He didn’t mention what he saw, just filled her in on who they were going to talk to, then led the way in.

 

When it was just you, Steph, Spencer and Hotch in the room, Steph announced, “I have matter in my head against you and your cony-catching rascals.”

You sighed. The Merry Wives of Windsor (also Shakespeare). “You Banbury cheese!”

Hotch looked at you (sighing) and Steph (cackling) and shook his head. You thought he might’ve smiled slightly before continuing the profile of the unsub. Spencer, across the room, wasn’t paying any attention.

 

Penelope was similarly intrigued with Steph, noting her insights about the profile over the phone, though sometimes they were certainly … Gotham-influenced. She wished she was there to see the two of you interact instead of having to live vicariously through her gossip group chat with Derek, JJ, Emily and Spencer (although he wasn’t much of a texter).

 

The case progressed dishearteningly slow with little progress and another abduction and body found. It all came to a head one afternoon when you walked back into the room with Rossi and JJ after returning from interviewing family members.

“Where’s Steph?” you asked when you didn’t see her.

There was a pregnant pause when no one answered, and everyone looked around. Your gaze snapped to Spencer as he had stayed behind at the precinct with her while you all had been out at crime scenes and interviews.

His eyes widened. “Uhh, she left the room … 20 minutes ago? Said something about … calling someone outside? I was so focused on the geographical profile, I wasn’t paying that much attention, I’m so sorry,” he sounded torn up.

“It’s fine, Spencer,” you said, not looking up from your phone as you pulled up the bat-tracking program Bruce had set up ages ago (paranoid bastard) and hoped Steph had one on her.

“I’ll go ask some of the officers, see if anyone knows where she went,” JJ offered and left the room.

“She might’ve just wandered off,” Derek said.

“No,” you frowned, this was Steph, she wouldn’t disappear without a reason, and she would’ve let you know if it was something important, if she actually left- you swore. “Can you call Penelope?”

“Do you think she went off on her own?” Hotch asked you seriously.

You shook your head. “Not without letting me know, or one of us. She’s smart.”

“You think someone got her then?” Emily asked as Derek reached across the table for the console to call her, recognizing the tension in your voice.

“I am here to serve, my lovelies!”

“Can you tell me what’s at the intersection of Vaughn and Bird?”

“Of course, my fingers are flying … it’s a warehouse, unused, in the warehouse district, owned by Dover Industries, a shell company, I can find out who owns it if you give me a moment…”

“That’s ok, thanks Pen.” You were thinking hard.

“What’s going on, what don’t I know?” Penelope asked, worriedly. You never called her Pen unless you were lost in thought or worried.

“Steph.”

Derek explained for you, “Steph’s disappeared, can you check the security cameras in the area, baby girl? Start around the precinct … see where she went?”

“Give me a magical moment and I will find out!”

“How do you know she’s there?” Rossi asked.

“Tracker, in her phone,” you lied, lost in thought.

Hotch stepped closer to you. “Are you going to be ok for this?” he asked you quietly and seriously.

You looked at him and nodded.

He studied you for a second longer before nodding himself. “Ok.”

“Ok, there’s an ATM, a couple stores, and the precinct, I’m getting the feeds now, when am I looking for, friends?”

“Anywhere between 1:30 and 2:30,” Spencer answered quickly. You nodded at him in thanks. That was the time when you left with JJ and Rossi to interview a family, Hotch, Emily and Derek already out reviewing crime scenes, leaving Spencer and Steph here alone to work other aspects of the profile.

“Hey, a couple officers remember seeing a young blonde woman go outside maybe twenty minutes ago?” JJ said upon returning.

“Oh!” Penelope exclaimed through the phone.

“What is it, baby girl?” Derek asked.

“Oh dear, I’m sending it right now.”

Emily pulled a computer towards you and pulled up the video.

The grainy feed showed the front steps of the precinct, the road in front and part of the parking lot. It was empty for a bit, until Steph walked into the frame, leaving the building. She walked down the steps and stood on the grass by the pavement, near the corner of the screen.

“She looks like she’s on the phone with somebody.”

Steph hung up a few minutes later, according to the time stamp on the bottom of the screen, but stayed where she was for a few more. She’d just started walking back when a vehicle pulled up next to her, two people jumped out and grabbed her. You watched her limbs flail as they forced her into the van and sped off.

“Plates?” Rossi asked.

“Too blurry, but I’m tracking the vehicle as much as I can.”

“Likely three people if there’s two jumping out and one driving,” Spencer commented.

“A team, and an efficient one,” Emily commented.

“Can you rewind?” you asked Emily. “Just the part where she’s taken.”

She hesitated but you saw Hotch nod out of the corner of your eye and she obliged.

You watched Steph intently as the video played and she got taken by the unsubs. “Oh Steph,” you breathed at the end.

“We’ll find her,” JJ assured you, and you couldn’t tell her that you weren’t too worried about that part, she could handle herself. Especially because she got. Herself. Kidnapped.

Days since last kidnapping: 0
Days since last allowed/staged kidnapping: 0

What the hell, Steph? You were never going to live this down, on either side (work and family).

“Garcia, were you able to get other angles of this? Or down the street?”

“Not that I could get the plate off, I’m sorry, but I have confirmed that the van headed in the direction of the warehouse.”

“Not what I’m after, no worries. Was there anyone else in the area? Anyone else outside, on the sidewalk or something?”

“Let me check.”

“What are you thinking?” Hotch asked.

“Steph … she’s taken self-defence classes, she knows how to defend herself, she could’ve gotten away from them.” Also she bat-signed about kidnappers, kidneys and money.

“You think she didn’t try to?” Spencer said.

“Oh dear,” Penelope’s voice came again. “Yes, there were a couple of people just down the street at a bus stop.”

“How old?”

“Around Steph’s age?”

“You think she let herself be taken to protect them?” JJ asked.

You nodded. Reasonable explanation for letting herself get kidnapped. “Yah.”

“Dave, call SWAT, get them ready,” Hotch said.

You thought about Steph’s blurry hand signals from the video that you were able to make out, mind working overtime. “I think it’s connected.”

“What?”

“Penelope, can you pull up all homicides slash suspicious deaths, open or closed, for the past two months before our first victim, Tanya Rousse?”

“Sure thing, what are you looking for? Shouldn’t you be going to the warehouse?”

“SWAT needs to get ready so I’m going to use that minute.”

“Ok. We have four suspicious deaths; a domestic assault resulting in homicide, someone found their neighbor dead in his apartment, coroner determined heart attack, ooh! And then we have … a stabbing in a park, perpetrator was never found and someone found dead in an alley, reported missing a week before.”

“C.O.D.?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Uhh, coroner determined DKA, diabetic ketoacidosis. They were diabetic and hadn’t got their insulin shot in two days.”

“When was this?”

“Two weeks before Tanya disappeared.”

“Who died from infection and heart complications, also two days after she was taken, and stabbed post-mortem,” Spencer continued.

“Then Iris the next day, taken and killed a few hours later, because of the defensive wounds, she fought back more, hit with a blunt instrument, stabbed post-mortem,” you said.

“Then a cooling off period, 7 days before the next victim is taken, Sandya, and found three days later,” Emily added.

“With her kidney cut out but still inside, post-mortem stabbing, with overkill,” Spencer added.

“We know all this, what makes you think it’s connected?” Derek asked.

“SWAT’s ready, let’s continue this in the cars,” Hotch announced.

“Ok, bear with me, I’ll be as fast as I can.” You followed your team to the vehicles and put your vests on.

“The first few, human trafficking, but the unsubs’ luck sucks, and they have their first victim die of lack of insulin because they didn’t know she was diabetic.” You climbed into the SUV behind Emily. “The next, Tanya, dies from stress and infection, underlying health problems, not necessarily physically visible. So by this time the unsubs are so stressed and frustrated that maybe their anger gets the best of them.”

Derek started driving once all your seatbelts were on.

“And they accidentally kill Iris because they’re so emotional and tense,” JJ inferred, following your train of thought.

“Then they take a few days to cool down,” Penelope said over the speaker phone, still listening in.

“Maybe the dom of the team forces them to calm down, or there could be an outside factor,” Derek added.

“Or both,” Dave said from the other vehicle.

“Exactly, maybe they’re also taking the time to stalk their next victim, because now they’re not just after anyone they can sell, I think they’re after the organs. Organ harvesting,” you said.

“That’s quite a leap,” Hotch said.

“Except they’re not experienced, you think they’re desperate?” Rossi wondered.

“For the organs or the money?” Emily added.

“My guess? Maybe someone needs a kidney transplant, one of the unsubs themselves, a relative, friend, the trafficking was to get money, but didn’t work out, or maybe there’s also disappearances related that we didn’t catch. The deaths, however, got them desperate and maybe thinking about ‘what if they could just find a kidney and not have to worry about the money’, so now they’re gunning for the actual organ.”

“That’s speculation,” Hotch stated.

“I know,” you admitted. “Steph’s kidnapping might be an unrelated occurrence, or…” You believed Steph. She thought she was onto something and got herself kidnapped to prove it. You loved her and you were so chewing her out after this case was over and she was swaddled in about a hundred blankets with her favourite snacks.

“Or maybe not,” Penelope said. “It’s a stretch but since you mentioned kidney transplants, I did some digging. Started with our profile but modified it to fit the new parameters. 20–40-year-old white males, who own white vans, related to someone on the kidney transplant list, it’s a wide open guess but miracles do happen, I have one Candace Sawatsky on the waiting list for a kidney and she’s not doing so well, took a turn for the worse right before the abductions started.”

“A likely stressor then,” JJ said.

“Candace’s family set up a GoFundMe, but it didn’t gain much traction, poor woman. She has two brother’s Walter and Friedrich Sawatsky, the older, Walter, has a wrap sheet a mile long, and is involved with some pretty suspicious characters, his cellmate from his stint in prison also lives here, and works at a veterinary clinic with access to sedatives. And guess what company the younger brother worked for last year?”

“Dover Industries, the company that owns the warehouse,” Spencer guessed.

“You got it in one, boy genius, now that seems like a lot of coincidences to me to not be connected,” Penelope said.

“Look at you go, you’re a wizard, Garcia!” Derek praised.

“Thank you, my delicious hunk of chocolate thunder.”

“If they’re that desperate for a transplant…” Spencer started. Steph didn’t have much time, he didn’t finish.

“We’re here,” Emily said.

“Good luck, my darlings!” Penelope wished before she hung up, worried for you and Steph. Sometimes she hated being so far away that she couldn’t give you hugs.

“Whether or not it’s connected, we go in smart,” Hotch said as everyone piled out of the SUVs. “Reid, JJ, with me, we’ll take the north entrance.” He pointed out the entrance on the map a SWAT agent was holding up. He said your name, “you’re with Prentiss, Morgan and Dave, you’ll take the west entrance.” He pointed to another section. “Let’s move.”

Hotch pulled you aside as you walked towards the warehouse. “I need to know-”

“I’ll be fine, Hotch. Professional. Won’t step out of line,” you assured him. You weren’t sure if any of your coworkers would believe you, what with the frown that hadn’t left your face since you realized Steph had been taken, but you hoped Hotch would trust that you could compartmentalize. You were bat-trained, you wouldn’t act out of turn. Besides, Steph could handle herself, which eased your worry.

Hotch nodded, accepting your statement, and you let out a small sigh of relief. It helped to have your unit chief trust your judgement.

Your groups split up and you followed behind Emily, Rossi and Derek, following SWAT in turn.

SWAT knocked open the door and you moved in, efficiently clearing spaces and making your way to the centre of the warehouse, looking for signs of the unsubs or Steph.

You dropped back behind the group and into the shadows. These weren’t Gotham shadows, but they still wrapped you up in their embrace, hiding you further. You went around the boxes and crates, searching for Steph, and finding voices to follow to the centre of the building.

You spotted Steph, tried to a chair on the other side of the space, the three unsubs were at a table to your right, arguing loudly. You sensed your team and SWAT about to surround them. Good.

You slipped around to creep up behind Steph and clicked your tongue quietly to let her know you were there.

“Took you long enough,” Steph breathed, barely audible.

You huffed a silent laugh. “No tricks?” you asked, checking if there were Steph was attached to any explosives or other traps.

“Nope, a little help?” she hissed, shifting her hands to fiddle with the knots. Surprisingly, the unsubs didn’t do a half bad job with the restraints, and you suspected they’d dosed Steph with the same sedative as the other victims as well, her tolerance and bat-skills had her more coherent than the others would have been, but they still slowed her down. With you there to help, Steph was free in no time.

“Put your hands up, you are surrounded!” was shouted through a megaphone.

“Oh shit!” Steph slipped out of the rest of the bonds and followed you out of the warehouse, escaping notice.

 

They were able to apprehend the unsubs quickly, and without casualties thankfully. As SWAT escorted the three unsubs out of the warehouse, Hotch and his team looked around.

“Where’s Steph? Was she not here?” JJ asked.

And where were you?

“Look, there’s a chair, the restraints are undone, maybe Steph already got out?” Spencer said.

“Before or after we got here?” Emily asked.

“Look around for both of them and any evidence that may tie the unsubs to the other crimes,” Hotch ordered.

Just then, your voice came over the comms. “I got Steph, we’re outside, sorry for disappearing on you like that,” you apologized. “We’re waiting for the paramedics, they’ve been called.”

“Copy,” Hotch responded.

“Go,” Morgan said, fixing him with a stare. “We got this, you check on them.”

Hotch frowned, surely he wasn’t that transparent? But he nodded instead, and left, confident in his team. And, well, you were part of team, so of course he worried, and Steph was young, and your family, like Jack to him, besides it was part of his job to check up on his team…

The paramedics had arrived by the time Hotch got outside and he found you hovering by Steph, who was sitting on the back of the ambulance, getting looked at.

“Ok, I’d say you’re pretty good, but watch out for the signs of a concussion-“

“I know what they are, don’t worry,” Steph said flippantly.

“I’ll watch over her too.” You smile was tight.

The paramedic nodded. “Alright. Lots of fluids, the effects of the sedative should wear off within the next few hours, so no driving for you for at least 24 hours. And try not to do anything to strenuous for a couple days, take it easy, ok?”

Steph snorted, and Hotch thought he saw you poke her back, but from his angle, he couldn’t be sure.

“We’ll be careful, thank you,” you said, and the paramedic took that as a sign to give you some space.

Hotch couldn’t say how he knew, there was hardly any physical reaction he could put his finger on to point out, but as soon as they left, he just knew that the both of you relaxed. Interesting.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

Steph perked up. “Absolutely swell! I’ve had worse kidnappers!”

You dropped your face into your hands, groaning audibly. Hotch tried not to have a mini heart attack. He knew you were both from Gotham, but really? What is that bad?

“Steph!” you groaned. “Audience! This is not … Gotham humour here.”

Hotch was … very concerned and very confused. Both of you were legal adults so he couldn’t call CPS or anything but … sometimes, not that he’d ever admit it out loud, Gotham confused and worried him. He cleared his throat. “So, you’re ok?”

Steph grinned again. “Oh yah, not even a three on my worst experiences scale,” she said cheerfully.

You started muttering in another language. Maybe swearing. Face still covered by your hands. “You have no compassion for my nerves,” you finally mumbled.

Steph gasped excitedly. “You mistake me, my dear,” she declared dramatically, “I have a high respect for your nerves!”

You shook your head, but you were no longer hiding your face in your hands, amusement back.

“Barely a one on my worst kidnapping experiences scale,” Steph added.

You sighed.

Hotch wondered if that was a normal Gotham experience or just … your family.

Steph laughed at his expression. “I’m from Gotham, Mr. Boss Man, this isn’t even an abnormal Tuesday! Just a regular one.”

“Somehow I’m not reassured,” he deadpanned. He didn’t think that actually answered his question.

Steph gasped dramatically. “Mr. Boss Man has a sense of humor?!”

Hotch cracked a small smile, before hiding it again. “I’ll drive you back to the station.”

You nodded, and Steph whooped, jumping up. She stumbled slightly, but you were already supporting her until she regained her balance.

He was surprised how well you two had read each other since Steph joined you this case. You anticipated each other abnormally well. More than you did for other people, and Hotch wondered how long you’d known each other, since you’d never gave a straight answer. He also couldn’t help the profiler inside him that said that that type of anticipation often forms in childhood when surrounded by unsafe and sometimes violent situations. He knew you both grew up in Gotham, where there were reports of violent crimes daily and villains of the week, but still … he couldn’t help but wonder…

As the team packed up later, Hotch couldn’t help but notice how you hovered around Steph, rarely ever touching her, but you practically orbited around her. Your eyes flicking over to her, taking in any movements, fidgets, winces, all while talking to her about mundane topics like her university classes.

 

The two of you sat next to each other on the plane. The team left you two alone, wanting to give you a sense of privacy to unwind after the chaos of the case.

“You could have done it without getting kidnapped,” you murmured to Steph, too quiet for anyone else to hear.

She shrugged. “Was faster this way. Sense of urgency ‘n all.”

You resisted the urge to facepalm again. “You do realize that everyone was worried and doesn’t know you as well as I do, right? And that Hotch will probably never let anyone stay with me ever again because you got kidnapped on the job?”

“They won’t fire you,” Steph mumbled, eyes closed.

You hummed and Steph elbowed you. You exhaled a chuckle. “Ok, ok, fine. … I just, hated to know that they had taken you. That they had you and had likely drugged you,” you whispered softly. “It was only mildly reassuring that you had let yourself be taken,” you added dryly.

Steph snorted. “I could handle it, been through worse.”

You still hated that, even if there was nothing you could do.

“You found me and got the bad guys,” Steph continued. “So, all’s well that ends well.”

You paused. Then grinned. “O my dear mother, do I see you living?”

Steph froze against you. Then blearily opened her eyes to fix you with a glare she aimed at your self-satisfied smirk. “I hate you.”

You gave her a look.

She continued to glare at you. Finally, she huffed. “Mine eyes smell onions.”

You cackled.

 

Halfway through the flight, Steph fell asleep, her head falling onto your shoulder.

Hotch came and sat down in the seat across from the two of you. “She’ll be ok?” Hotch asked quietly, not wanting to disturb her.

You gave him a small smile. “She wasn’t lying about the whole ‘been kidnapped before’ thing, as concerning as it sounds, but yah, she’s got a good support network, she’ll be ok.”

Hotch wasn’t sure who you were assuring, him, you, or both. “And you have us. For whatever you need.”

“Thanks Hotch.”

Notes:

cut scene:

“Wanna hear a joke?” Steph asked from the backseat.

“Oh dear,” you mumbled.

“Sure,” Derek grinned, he loved seeing you squirm like this.

“How does a nonbinary person murder another nonbinary person?” she asked giddily.

“I dunno, how?” Emily asked.

“They slash them,” she grinned.

Derek snorted.

You sighed, facepalming.

“Huh? Ohhhh!” Emily laughed. “That’s a good one, I like that.”

“Almost there, guys,” Derek announced.
***
i have so many little bits and scenes i had to cut bc they didn't quite fit and it was already getting so long lol

also i hc that Penelope would call her office the Tardis in this 'verse bc obviously Batman actually exists in this world so she wouldn't (shouldn't) know about the Batcave and it is canon that she and Spencer went to a sci-fi convention dressed as Dr Who characters so. which is an irrelevant note so far but there you go.

 

thanks for reading!! i gnaw (affectionately) on comments <3

Chapter 5: Damian Wayne

Summary:

Damian visits you and you bond. Your team starts to have their theories about your family.

Notes:

happy end of summer/back to work/school time for most people!! i am drowning in my stress about visas and apartment hunting but just hoping for the best. ch6 has no eta because i've barely started writing it and there's very little plot, only vibes so far. so yah. i appreciate your patience <3<3

suspension of disbelief people, this is self-indulgent fanfiction and i will write what i want no matter how unrealistic it may seem mwahahahaha

JJ, Derek, Emily, Spencer, Penelope and you were coming up to the office together, one of the rarer times where you all arrived at the same time.

Derek, as usual, was teasing Spencer for taking the metro and Emily, in turn, was teasing Derek about his hot dates (or lack thereof). JJ laughed along with her colleagues, enjoying the playful banter.

You all entered the bullpen (Penelope joining you for a few minutes before the workday officially began) and JJ’s eyes immediately caught on a young child standing by their desks. Or more specifically, yours.

No one else seemed to notice, caught up in Spencer and Derek’s argument, until you ducked out, striding forward.

“Damian? What’re you doing here? Isn’t a school day?” You spoke the words softly, aimed at the kid, so they could just barely hear you.

Another one of your family members. JJ was starting to worry about why they were all showing up here.

Everyone was now watching as the child turned with a frown on his face. He scoffed. “As if that inferior establishment could constitute an acceptable education.”

JJ caught Emily’s eye, and they raised their eyebrows at each other. JJ didn’t think she’d ever met a kid with such formal vocabulary, nor one that spoke so haughtily.

You smiled at your kid and dropped your go-bag by your desk. “You hungry? C’mon, join me while I make myself some tea.”

JJ and the others watched you walk away to the kitchenette, your kid following a moment after (still a frown etched on his face).

“Who was that?” Emily whispered interestedly.

“I’ve never seen someone so … scowly! How could someone be so scowly?” Penelope exclaimed quietly.

“How much are we betting that it’s another family member?” Derek joked.

“Seems likely, if only because this is the 5th time that one of them has shown up,” Spencer said.

That, and you clearly knew all of them, and they, you.

“How do they all get here? They all seem to be from Gotham and it’s at least a two-hour drive,” Penelope said.

“And that kid looks like they couldn’t be more than, what, 13, 14?” JJ frowned.

“Wonder why they all show up here,” Derek mused, a crease between his eyebrows.

Sure, it wasn’t the first time a family member of yours had shown up out of the blue, but it was another thing when they were adults versus the couple of kids that’d come to see you now.

JJ did admire how chill you were about it all. She saw the concern crease your brow, but you immediately welcomed them, took them to a place with a semblance of privacy, and fed them, since it was usually the small kitchen in the corner. You talked to them, made sure they felt safe, took care of them, and never let it affect your work.

Everyone had worried when Steph had been kidnapped that you’d snap, go feral on the kidnappers. The stern frown on your face that Penelope affectionately dubbed your “murder face” had concerned them. But you hadn’t even engaged with the unsubs. You’d gone to Steph, got her out, and left the warehouse.

JJ worried about the reasons your family kept showing up. Only the second one had given a brief explanation (got lost on a school trip and had come here because he knew you worked here, the details were a little vague but JJ let it go since you acted like it was normal and Duke seemed ok. But still, she had noticed the scrapes on his hands…), but you were there for them and there wasn’t much she could do. Especially with no last names. And the promise not to profile each other. (But did that extend to family and friends?) She’d worked enough child abuse cases for it to make her heart beat faster and thoughts to swirl around in her head. But, she’d watched them and you and there was no other outward behaviour that indicated they came here to escape abuse.

 

“Did you want anything? I have cookies in the freezer and a couple other snacks, or I could make you tea? Hot chocolate?” You set about getting things ready to make tea for yourself, letting Damian take his time.

After a moment he asked, “What kind of tea?”

You smiled to yourself and grabbed the basket of teas, placing it on the counter for him to go through.

You got out your favourite mug from the cupboard and grabbed another with bees on it for Damian.

He carefully selected his tea bag and put it in his cup.

As you waited for the water to boil, you looked at Damian. “So what’s up? Why aren’t you in Gotham?” Everything ok? What happened? your face asked.

It wasn’t until you were pouring the water in Damian’s cup that he spoke.

“Father is being an idiot.”

Ah.

You moved the kettle over to fill your mug. “Does he know where you are?”

Silence.

You closed your eyes and said a silent prayer. “Does anybody know?”

Silence.

“Damian,” you sighed, pulling forward the tray of sugar, sweeteners, honey and creamers to add what you wanted to your cup.

His scowl deepened, although it actually might have been a pout. A frustrated one.

You nudged the tray over to him and he added what he wanted to his tea.

“When you don’t show up to school, they have to call home, the emergency contact. I am not on that list. Bruce will find out you’re not where you’re supposed to be and get worried.”

“He will be fine.”

“Damian…”

He tutted. “Besides, it is taken care of.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. Did he go to Barbara…?

He sniffed haughtily and took a sip of his tea.

You could feel a headache coming on. “This is … B we’re talking about. If he thinks something’s up … if he calls me, I will answer-”

Damian shot you a dirty look, but you knew it was just a cover for his feelings of betrayal.

“-but I will not call him to tell him. Hopefully he’s busy enough not to notice anything.”

He hrmphed but followed you back down to your desk.

“Hotch get in yet? Or already here?” you asked you teammates who had been (un)subtly keeping an eye on you.

“I think he was here before we got here,” Spencer said.

You nodded in thanks and turned back to Damian. Stay here a minute. I’ll be back.

He rolled his eyes. “Tt.” He turned to look at the pictures on your desk and you knew he understood.

You put your tea down, tapped the desk twice and headed up to Hotch’s office.

 

He welcomed you in before you’d even finished knocking.

“Hi.”

“Good morning.” He glanced up from his paperwork to grace you with a slight smile.

You returned it. “So.”

His eyes flicked to the window to the bullpen, and you followed his gaze to where you knew it would land, your desk, where yet another member of your family hovered.

You were fairly certain your teammates were trying to engage Damian in conversation, and hoped they didn’t press to hard, for everybody’s sake.

“That’s Damian. He’s wonderful, would like to stay and hang out and learn about the BAU, so here I am again, asking if he can stay. I know it’s getting to be a lot but …” you chuckled awkwardly.

Hotch sighed. “It’s ok,” Hotch said seriously. “You look out for them and get your work done, it’s … it’s ok, you’re ok.”

You murmured a self-conscious thanks.

“Of course he can stay, just keep him away from …”

“Work? Bad things? No worries.” Though you knew Damian had seen things, hell he’d done things, so you weren’t terribly worried. You were more concerned about your coworkers catching on to that fact and looking into it. “Thanks, Hotch.”

You waved and turned, not catching his small smile as you left.

 

You jogged up to Damian and heard Derek in the midst of asking him about school.

Damian, predictably, was not impressed with the question or his current institution of education. “Abysmal.”

Your phone ringing cut off any further questions or reactions to Damian’s response.

He glared at you as you brought it up to see the caller and answer. Bruce. (So he figured something out, did he?)

You looked at Damian calmly as you picked up. “Hi?”

“Good morning.”

“Do you mean to wish me a good morning or do you-” you cut yourself off with a snort. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Have you seen Damian?”

You frowned. “Yes, of course I’ve seen Damian, be precise, when have I seen him, because I was there last weekend and yes, I saw him there.”

“Hn.”

You rolled your eyes, not without fondness. “Is something wrong? Shouldn’t he be at school? Is it school time in Gotham? What time is it there?”

“We’re in the same time zone.” You could almost hear him grit him teeth and thought Steph might be proud of you for the headache you were sure you might be helping to cause.

“Ok, well, what are you calling me for? I’m at work, I gotta go, is everything ok there? Are you ok?”

“Fine,” he growled, definitely not sounding fine.

“Ok then … Look, if you need anything, gimme a call, but it may take a bit for me to get back to you because I’m at work. And if Damian’s not at school, try Dick or Jason, yah? Or an animal shelter, hell, the barn too. Don’t be a weirdo. See ya, B,” you said and ended the call.

You looked at Damian who tutted and turned away, but you saw that his shoulders had lost some of the tension they’d had before.

You snagged another chair and set it up next to yours for Damian if he wanted it and sat down and started to work.

When he did, you started quietly explaining what you were doing, switching languages fluidly like any Bat was prone to and modifying it for any prying ears. Gotham knew your team knew a lot of languages.

Damian didn’t speak too much, preferring silent observation, but you knew he was listening.

 

Spencer thought about your phone call with this “B”. He obviously could only hear one side of the conversation and didn’t know who this person was or your relationship. But from what Spencer could hear … it sounded like you lied about the whereabouts of the kid with you. Actually, that might not have been 100% accurate, it sounded like you were misleading the other person. You hadn’t outright lied and said he wasn’t with you, you just implied it.

Spencer wasn’t sure how worried to be, since he was fairly certain that you weren’t Damian’s legal guardian, but the conversation made him wonder why the kid would come seek you out. Was there some sort of abusive situation going on at home? But then, you seemed so relaxed, not tense or otherwise signalling you wanted the team to look into someone’s background.

Spencer tried to concentrate on the paperwork in front of him, but sometimes his brain was just too loud and he struggled to reroute it. He needed to finish his current thoughts before it’d be open to new ones.

He heard your phone sound again and your voice answering after the second ring.

“Hi Alfred, I am at work, you know.” You sounded amused, and when Spencer glanced up and across the desks, he could see you wore a slight smirk.

“Ah.”

Spencer noticed Derek and Emily also eavesdropping on you, you didn’t seem to mind that much, if you wanted it to be more private you usually left the bullpen.

Whatever ‘Alfred’ said made you smile fondly. “I’m sure he is where he needs to be,” you said with a quick glance at the child sitting next to you.

“I’ll let you know. Work can be unpredictable, but I’ll try and make it this weekend if a case doesn’t come in.”

Spencer wondered who this ‘Alfred’ was on the other end of the line. From your glance at Damian, he inferred it was someone else inquiring into the whereabouts of him, but from your responses, it seemed this one was accepting of the fact that he might be with you.

Perhaps Alfred was also related to ‘B’ and ‘Dick’ and ‘Jason’ you’d mentioned earlier? ‘Dick’ was likely the kid that’d shown up a few weeks ago, it was an unusual name. But it seemed strange to ask a child who had looked younger than Damian, the whereabouts of someone older than him. Spencer wondered if ‘Jason’ was the ‘Jay’ that you and your family mentioned every so often.

“’Kay, bye, love you.” You paused and laughed softly before hanging up.

“You said ‘I love you’ to Pennyworth?” hissed your companion.

“What’s not to love, he’s fantastic. Besides, it kind of just slipped out, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t mean it. Alfred’s wonderful.”

“Tt.”

A full name? Alfred Pennyworth? He wondered if Emily and Derek caught that and if they’d tell Penelope for her to look it up and find out more about your family.

He was curious as to what your (chosen) family tree would look like, all laid out. He’d heard so many names by now. Tim, Duke, Steph, Dick, and now Damian, had all shown up. And then there was ‘Jay’ who might be ‘Jason’, ‘B’, the ‘Cass’ Steph had mentioned and now this ‘Alfred Pennyworth’. In Gotham. He’d started wondering … he didn’t know anything for certain, he’d need to double check to confirm, and he wasn’t certain how you fit in, but he’d started to have his suspicions.

“We have a case,” Hotch said.

Spencer stood and couldn’t help but cast a glance over at you and Damian.

You were standing, murmuring a few quiet words to him before joining the team on their way up to the briefing room. Everyone filed in and sat down.

“Ok, let’s get started.”

 

It was luckily a case in DC, so you wouldn’t have to fly anywhere, unfortunately Damian was too young to shadow you (and you weren’t sure Hotch would ever let you or anybody do that ever again thanks to Steph being kidnapped last time.)

Penelope noticed your hesitation and offered, “I can look after him-” she glanced between you and Hotch “-so you can keep working the case and don’t have to worry about him. Don’t worry, sir, I’ll still be able to do my work.”

“Would you?” you asked. While Penelope was a force to be reckoned with, so was Damian, but having been called into a case and reluctant to take Damian to your apartment, or back to Gotham, mostly because you had a feeling that if you tried, Damian would just disappear and go out on his own again. You hoped he’d find another safe person, but if you were the person he first came to? Over Dick and Jason and everyone in Gotham? Well, you’d hope he’d go to Jon next but there was no guarantee, and Kansas was much farther away. You’d just have to hope for the best and ask Damian to be on his best behaviour.

“Of course!”

Hotch considered it, gaze flicking between the two of you and out the window at Damian. He nodded once. “Ok.”

“Thank you. And thank you.” Your shoulders relaxed.

“No problem!”

Hotch nodded, dismissing you, and you hurried off to your desk.

Damian looked up as you approached, his expression serious. “What’s the case?”

“It’s in DC so we don’t have to fly anywhere, but,” you dropped your voice even further and emphasized your point by silently communicating with your non-verbal bat language, “this is not Gotham, and you’ll have to stay with Penelope-” she’s kind of like Oracle for our team “-most of the day whenever I’m out, you can learn what she does, how the BAU works.” I know that you’re Robin in Gotham but here, you are just a kid, people are going to want to protect you and hide the horrors of our job, I know what you’re capable of but you need to treat this like an undercover mission, hide who you are or they might become suspicious-

Damian scowled.

I won’t send you back to Gotham, not if you don’t want to, but you can’t draw suspicion.

He nodded stiffly.

They’re competent in their own way, not everyone can be as cool as you, you teased. “Ok, grab your stuff if you had anything, I’ll take you to Penelope’s lair.”

You also grabbed what you needed, and a few extra papers and pencils, then led Damian out of the bullpen and down the hallways to Penelope’s office.

What’s the case? Damian chirped.

You slowed your walk. Arsonist, going on a spree, targeting religious monuments and buildings so far.

He hummed.

You got to Penelope’s office and knocked twice before walking right in.

She spun around in her chair. “Oh welcome! Welcome to the TARDIS! It’s bigger on the inside!”

Damian stood beside you, observing the space.

“Thank you for doing this.”

“Oh, it’s my pleasure! You can sit here if you want-” she pointed at another chair with her fancy pen. “-there’s space if you want to do homework or just chill and read or write or something.”

Damian sat in the chair. “This is acceptable.”

You smiled fondly at him. “Good. Here.” You placed the papers and pencils on the desk by him. “If you have the urge to sketch while you’re here. I don’t have cool, fancy ones here, but I hope they’ll suffice.”

Damian stared at them with an unreadable expression. “They’ll do.”

You smiled at him again, then up at Penelope. “Ok, I gotta go meet Derek, we’re headed to the morgue and then the second crime scene.”

“Find out what type of accelerant was used, and try to figure out whether the motive was murder or fear or hate of organized religion or bigotry or something else, that will narrow your suspect pool.”

“Will do, thanks Damian,” you said, and left before Penelope could comment. Leaving her buffering for a few seconds before she rebooted and elected to ignore that this young teen was talking calmly about … arson.

Penelope was ecstatic about having your kid in her office, getting the opportunity to fish for information about you and your family. Unfortunately, she had a job to do and that obviously came first. She was so in the zone sometimes that she forgot Damian was there. But when she glanced behind her, he was still sitting there silently, at one point picking up a pencil and starting to sketch. So, she didn’t worry too much, he was evidently a wonderful and well-behaved kid.

 

The team ordered in food for lunch and when it got there, JJ convinced you to let her join you in bringing Penelope and Damian’s food to her office.

You handed him the vegetarian wrap you’d ordered for him and sat on the desk next to him.

JJ handed Penelope her food and watched you speak softly to him, he responded curtly before ignoring you and his food in favour of his sketches. Eventually he traded it for the wrap, and you ate together in silence for a bit. She hovered with the intention of talking with you both, to check in on your younger brother (?), but her eye caught onto the papers in between the two of you.

“Wow, these are amazing.” She looked up at Damian. “Did you draw these?”

The boy next to you tutted. “Obviously.”

“You’re really good.”

“Of course I am.”

“Oh, those are gorgeous!” Penelope added when she turned away from her computer for a moment to take a look.

You huffed a quiet laugh of amusement and finally glanced down at them. “Oh wow, Damian,” you breathed. “This is excellent work you’ve done, good job. Did you learn a new shading technique? That part there-” you pointed “-it looks different than what I’ve seen you do before.”

He sniffed. “Yes.” He sounded almost reluctant to answer. “They taught it a few weeks ago, it was an acceptable lesson.”

“Well, you did very well, very good work and effort here, it’s excellent.”

Damian didn’t really respond to that, and it might have been JJ’s imagination, but she thought there was some bashfulness, some pride on his face that he tried to hide by taking another bite of his wrap.

“Have you been having a good day so far?” JJ asked.

You nudged his chair when he didn’t reply after a minute.

“Tt, it has been mediocre. I have not been allowed to fully participate in this investigation, I have been neither allowed to visit crime scenes nor the morgue, nor been kept privy to the information you have gathered. I came here to learn but you have been impeding my studies.”

JJ’s eyed widened but you just sighed like you were used to this and said, “We talked about this.”

His scowl deepened. “If my education is to be fully comprehensive, I must experience everything.”

“That’s not what Dick was talking about, and you know it.”

Wait- Dick? The young boy that visited them however long ago? That Dick?

“I am only studying law enforcement as you and Richard have-”

“Not until you’re older.” You fixed him with a look JJ wasn’t sure what it meant, but apparently Damian did as he huffed and took another disgruntled bite of his food.

JJ caught your soft, affectionate gaze aimed at Damian that he didn’t see. She didn’t doubt that you loved and cared for these people that seemed to seek you out, but your support and affection for them only reinforced that conclusion.

Damian muttered something in a language JJ didn’t know that made you roll your eyes and decided to leave you alone for now. She said a quick goodbye to you and Penelope, left the office and returned to her other teammates in the briefing room.

 

Damian continued his sketching in Penelope’s office after lunch. Another fire had been set, injuring a half dozen people but thankfully not killing anyone, so the countdown was on to catch this unsub before anyone else could get hurt or anymore fires were set.

She kept scouring the internet to find any more hints at the unsub’s identity or next target and completely forgot about the other person in the room. It wasn’t until Hotch called her and before he hung up, he asked about Damian, that she remembered he was supposed to be there. Penelope spun around and nearly had a heart attack when she didn’t see him. This better not be like what happened with Steph! Not on her watch!

“I’ll call you back later!” she squeaked and jabbed the button on the console. She was standing up and ready to run down the halls looking for him when the door opened and he slipped in. They stared at each other.

“I was … using the facilities,” Damian said, then slipped back into his chair.

“Oh. Good,” Penelope said faintly and sat back down and went back to work.

 

The case was over by dinnertime, and everyone was ready to go home and eat or sleep.

You found Damian and brought him back to the bullpen as you were finishing up the paperwork for the day. You were about to bring your files up to Hotch’s office when you were interrupted by a voice blurting out,

“I called Richard ‘Baba’ yesterday.”

You paused and looked behind you to where Damian was looking like he wished the ground would swallow him whole, before pulling his mask up and glaring so fiercely any elderly folk would make a joke about his face becoming stuck. You wondered if this was part of the reason Damian left out about why he came to visit you. You wondered why he was telling you, of all people, this, and felt honoured that he did.

Your teammates glanced between themselves, understanding that they weren’t supposed to hear that and wondering if they could get away with eavesdropping a little bit more.

You put your files down on the closest desk, walked over to Damian and crouched down in front of him. He didn’t look at you, burning holes at some desk to your left, and you didn’t ask him to, knowing he was listening.

“I don’t think B would be mad,” you started softly, “and … I think that Dick … probably would have been overjoyed to hear that. He would never ask you to, never pressure you to, of course not, it’s your choice. … But, if you want to, it’s ok if you have two dads, a Father and a Baba. We all have strange family structures and that’s ok, we are a very crazy family tree already and a few more zigzag-y lines will only add a bit more pizazz in my opinion,” you finished honestly, voice light but genuine, hoping you weren’t saying the wrong things.

Damian just sniffed haughtily, but you knew it was only to save face.

Your eyes crinkled in a small smile. “What do you say to going for dinner? There’s this vegan restaurant nearby that I’ve been wanting to try out.”

He sniffed again. “That would be acceptable.”

You nodded to yourself. “Ok, I’m just gonna finish up here real quick and then we’ll go?”

Damian nodded and you grabbed your files, adding, “I’ll text Jason to see if he can make us some cookies for when we get back,” before heading up to Hotch’s office and ignoring your coworkers for the time being.

You dropped off the files and returned to your desk where Damian awaited you.

“These are for you.” Damian pushed a few sheets across the desk without looking at you.

You picked them up and sucked in a breath. They were his sketches from earlier, but more of them. Swords from various movies. Your favourites. Did he … did he draw these for you? Knowing your favourite fictional weapons?

“I- thank you, Damian, thank you, these are beautiful.”

He sniffed and didn’t say anything.

You picked one out and left if on your desk, tucked under your keyboard so it wouldn’t fly away before tomorrow, and slid the rest carefully into your bag.

“Ready to go?”

Damian frowned at the one on your desk.

“I’m gonna put it up,” you said proudly. “Frame it with the others.”

“Why?”

“Because you gave it to me and I think it’s awesome. And because I want to be able to look at it every day with all my other photos.” You patted your bag. “These ones I’m gonna stick on my fridge, or in a scrapbook, or on Jason’s fridge.”

Damian didn’t say anything, brows furrowed.

“Ready to go?” you asked again softly.

With one last glance at the drawing on your desk, he nodded, and followed you out of the building.

Notes:

end scene:

“So … are we going to talk about the fact that there’s like two Dick’s in the same family?”
“Two Richard’s that both go by Dick seems unlikely.”
“But ‘Baba’ is a term for father and the other Dick we met was a child…”
“I wonder how many of them we haven’t met.”
“I wonder how long it’ll take for us to meet all of them.”

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there was an entire subplot that happened within this chapter that i cut but wanna post as a deleted scene at some point just because it makes me laugh evilly but didn't completely fit and went on for too long lol
there's also a DC Crossover week near the end of September that i hope to post at least one fic for :)) likely feat. batfam!bau!reader and my personal fave dc reader ship and another tv show's ot3 (possibly my fave show and ot3), so hopefully gonna get that out on time

last part inspired by a fic Worthy by Squirrel806 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/58360459) which is a really good fic

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thanks for reading!! i gnaw (affectionately) on comments <3

Notes:

thanks for reading! i gnaw (affectionately) on comments <3

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 6 of Silver's Batfam!BAU!Reader 'verse