Chapter Text
The air feels too heavy to breathe. Your room doesn’t feel like your own tonight. You want the night to be over, but you also want it to last forever. This is it.
It’s your last night together before Zayne is off. You don’t know the next time you’ll see him. You’ve had months to prepare for this, but you’re still not ready.
He’s going overseas for research, further helping people’s health while sacrificing certain aspects of his life. He’s such a selfless human being that you almost feel bad for being upset. He doesn’t seem to be feeling any particular way about it, so you don’t understand why you’re so upset.
You just know this is the end, and you can’t help but feel melancholic. This is the last time you’ll see him. This is what you agreed on. An unspoken agreement. You know you’re holding him back, and you don’t want to keep doing that. You don’t want for the resentment to build up until he can no longer stand it.
You want to end things while you can still control them. You want them to end on good terms.
“Are you enjoying the movie?” Zayne asks when he notices that your eyes look glossy. His arm is wrapped around you, holding you as close as he can tonight. It’s hot tonight, his warmth is definitely not needed, but you can’t move out of his embrace. Cuddling with him in bed is the only thing that’s keeping you from crying.
“Yeah, it’s funny.” You comment, and you feel his finger poke your cheek. His eyes observe you, trying to figure out your train of thought.
“It’s so funny that you’re not laughing?” He points out, and you sigh. It’s clear that your feelings are getting the best of you tonight, and you can’t help it.
“I’m going to miss you.” You tell him, turning around to face him. You look into his eyes, feeling your heart break a little. Eyes that bring you so much comfort couldn’t cause you any more pain right now.
You know it’s all going to work out in the end, and you’ll look back at this and laugh about it. Maybe you can reunite in the future, but right now things won’t work out like you want them to.
“If you miss me, you can always call.” He answers as your hands cup his face. You kiss the tip of his nose, thumbs caressing his cheeks.
“You’ll be busy, I better not.” A sheepish smile comes to your lips, and he gently kisses you. His hand rests on top of yours.
“I will always have time for you, even if this is…” He begins but he stops talking before tears can spill from your eyes. “I can always talk to you. We’ve always been friends.”
“You know, I’m happy for you.” You end up pecking his lips. He knows that you’re trying your best to be his rock, but the sadness aura is too heavy to ignore.
“I can come back earlier and we can–” He begins but you shake your head. You refuse. You don’t want to be the reason Zayne stays behind.
“We can always reunite.” You tell him. You don’t know much about what he’ll do, but from what he’s told you, it can last anywhere between months to years. It’s something he’s been raving about, in a field that he’s passionate in; you don’t want to be the reason he stays behind. “I don’t mind waiting a couple of years for you.”
“It’ll be over before you know it.” He tries to reassure you, but it doesn’t work. The more attention you pay to time, the longer it takes to pass.
“Let’s not talk about it.” You end up saying, knowing that you can spend the entire night talking about this with each other. You’ll end up crying all night and all day tomorrow if you don’t attempt to talk about something else.
“What do you want to talk about then?” He responds, and you shake your head. You don’t really know what to talk about. Silence takes over the room for a minute, the corny lines that come from the television now louder than ever. Any sadness fades away, a loud laugh leaving your lips.
“Why did I pick this?” You sit up, looking for the remote to pause the movie. He sits up as well, attempting to mimic your every move. You aren’t the only one that’s lost right now.
“It’s funny.” He answers as his chin rests on your shoulder. You chuckle, playfully rolling your eyes.
“You don’t even know what’s going on.” You argue, and he hums. There’s no point in acting like he was paying attention, his eyes were too focused on you to even bother looking at the television.
“You said it was funny so it must be.” He responds, making you chuckle. You kiss his cheek before turning off the screen. “What do you want to do now? I know you aren’t tired.”
“You can pick a different movie.” You tell him, but he isn’t in the mood to watch anything. He wants to do something with you, something that involves talking… Or more. “Or do you want to do something else?”
He just wants to forget about tomorrow. He wants to enjoy every inch of you. He wants to reach into your soul and comfort you. He also wants to make every last minute enjoyable. He wants to get lost in you, as if you have the rest of eternity to spend with each other.
“Yeah.” Zayne replies, leaning in for a kiss. You don’t hesitate before giving in. A kiss that’s supposed to be innocent on his end, the meaning quickly changing as you deepen the kiss. Your tongue enters his mouth and presses against his own.
Dark eyes look into yours when he pulls away. His forehead rests against your own, trying to have some restraint. Your hands go to the back of his head, pulling him back into a kiss, fingers sneakily moving down his body.
Your hot fingertips touch under his shirt, trailing up his torso while his lips pull away and begin to kiss down your neck. He’s leaving a messy trail of kisses until he’s stopped by your shirt. His hands go to the hem of your shirt, eyes looking up at you for reassurance. You give him a subtle nod before he lifts up your shirt.
“You’re so beautiful.” He mutters as his hands unhook your bra. His mouth moves down to your breast, continuing his sloppy trail of kisses until his tongue begins to circle around your nipple.
“Oh– Right there.” You softly moan as you feel his hand rub against your clothed pussy. Zayne wastes no time in satisfying you, hand going into your pants. His fingers run through your folds before they focus on playing with your clit.
“I need you.” He says, unlatching before getting on top of you. Your back hits the mattress again, and Zayne is pulling down your pants. He nearly tosses them across the room before dipping his head between your legs. Zayne doesn’t even bother taking off your panties, he pulls them to the side.
His breath gets caught up in his chest before he kisses your pussy. Zayne, who always knows what to do in the toughest situations, is always unsure how to start in this situation. No matter how many times he does this, he’s always unsure of what the first step should be.
His tongue runs through your folds, while your thighs begin to squeeze around him. His tongue finds your clit, flicking it. He could die right here, and he’d die a happy man. He’s sure he enjoys this more than you do. Even when you’re pulling on his hair and softly moaning his name even when he’s barely doing anything.
“Zayne… Right there.” You shut your eyes while he runs his fingers through your folds. He pushes two fingers inside you, a loud moan escaping your lips as he begins to move them in and out of you.
He sucks on your clit, eyes looking up at you for reassurance. A reassurance that isn’t needed with how you sound. He curves his fingers just right, hitting the sweet spot that fills you with pleasure.
You bite down your lip as his tongue moves down. He takes his fingers out, tongue moving down to tease your entrance. His fingers continue to play with your clit, and you feel as if you were on cloud nine.
“Fuck… Fuck.” You moan while your climax slowly takes over you. You’re so close. You’re so close to finishing and he knows it. Which is why there’s a spark of mischief in his eyes when he raises his head. A whine leaves your lips, only to be cut off by his lips.
He’s hungrily kissing you while your hands are attempting to unbutton his pants. A kiss won’t cut it anymore, he’s gotten you started and you need him. You bite down his lip before you pull away, breathlessly saying, “I need you. Please.”
“Anything you want.” He affirms as he pulls down his pants. He’s spreading your legs while he pulls down his briefs. He spits down on your cunt before he runs the tip of his cock through your pussy.
“Do you want me to get a condom?” He asks as he’s teasing your entrance. You shake your head before he pushes himself inside of you. He gives you a second when he bottoms out before he slowly begins to move.
This is a great way to forget about everything. His lips go down to meet yours again in a sloppy kiss.
“God, you’re so perfect.” He murmurs as his thrusts pick up some speed. His dick hits all the right spots, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. His hand to cup and squeeze your tits, too hard for him to ignore.
His hips slow down as his head dips down, mouth wrapping around your nipple again. Your hips meet his halfway, thrusts too slow for your liking. He barely even notices, too engrossed with your tits in your mouth.
“Zayne–” You moan, back arching as his dick hits every right spot. His tongue licks your breasts, going to your other tit to worship it. He’s sucking, teeth grazing your skin. The temptation to bite is strong, but he’s able to consume himself.
“You feel so good.” Zayne tells you as he unlatches from your tit. His hands hold on to your hips as his thrusts pick up speed once again. Your back arches as your hand goes down to play with your clit, pleasure consuming you once again.
His hand replaces your own, playing with your clit. He does a better job than you do. Your orgasm approaches once again, and this time, he won’t snatch it from you. He praises you for it, telling you how great you’re doing for handling him, until you come all over him.
You see white, your climax coming at full force. You moan his name over and over again as he continues thrusting in and out of you. His eyes can’t come off your face, watching every tiny expression that you make while he fucks you. A sight that will be engrained in his mind for as long as he lives.
“You’re so beautiful.” He nearly whispers as his moves become more unregulated. He kisses you again, but not the same as before. He’s more gentle, yet more passionate. He’s moaning in your mouth as he gets closer to his release.
Your brain almost tricks you into thinking about how much you’ll miss this, but the thoughts are stopped when you feel his warmth fill you up. His lips remain on you while he’s deep inside of you, even if he’s stopped moving.
“Zayne.” You’re breathless when he pulls away. You’re about to ruin the mood again, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. Instead you wrap your arms around him, hugging him as tight as you can.
“Are you okay?” He asks as if he was close to being rough. You kiss him before humming in response.
“Will you cuddle with me?” You do the eyes that make him weak for you, though there’s no need for them. You act as if you weren’t cuddling before this.
“After I run you a bath.” He responds, and you sheepishly smile.
“You have to take a bath too or else you’ll go to bed all stinky.” You point out, and instead of giving you a clever remark, he agrees.
“Let’s take a bath together then.”
– – –
You can’t fall asleep. Even when it’s damn near four in the morning, you can’t close your eyes. You keep looking at him as he so peacefully sleeps. You tired him out.
You look at the clock, anxiety looming in when you realize that you have to wake up in a couple of hours to drive him to the airport. But maybe that’s not the issue that causes your anxiety. You can’t sleep for other reasons.
You should tell him.
There’s a heavy truth that you sit on, and you have to tell him. It’s his right to know. You don’t want to hold him back though. Resentment will build up if you hold him back, and you refuse.
Your thoughts get the best of you, even if the outcomes that play in your head are nearly impossible, you’re so damn sure that it’ll be your reality. He’ll resent you more for what you’re about to do, but the thought doesn’t linger in your mind.
“Is everything okay?” You’re startled by his voice. Too caught up in your own thoughts, you failed to notice he woke up. You feel his warm hand on your cheek, thumb caressing you.
“I can’t sleep.” You confess, the tip of your finger tracing the bridge of his nose.
“Why? Are you hot?” He asks, ready to use his evol to cool you down. You shake your head, though he can’t see it. You should tell him now, but it’s too late. You’ve known for a week, you can’t tell him last minute. “Is it because…?”
“I don’t know what to make you for breakfast tomorrow.” You end up answering, making him click his tongue. He brings you closer to him before kissing your forehead.
“I don’t need anything. I just need you to sleep, okay?” He replies.
“Are you the same Dr. Zayne who scolds me for not eating breakfast?” You ask, and he chooses to remain silent.
Doctor’s orders don’t apply to him.
– – –
This is it. You’re walking Zayne to his terminal, and you’re wondering what you should do. Your hands are intertwined while you quietly walk. Even though your relationship ended last night, girlfriend privileges still apply for another twenty-four hours.
“How long is the flight?” You ask him, breaking the silence. Your thoughts eat you alive, and you don’t want to begin crying in front of him.
“Twelve hours but I have a long layover.” He answers. You’ll be uneasy all that time, wondering if he’s okay and if he needs anything. You’ve started to worry more about him the last week, and it’s a feeling that won’t fade with time. Every night you’ll be wondering if he’s okay.
“Can you call me when you get there?” You request, and he gives you his subtle smile. A smile that’s supposed to reassure you, but your stomach churns.
“It’ll be late here, I’ll text you.” He responds, and you nod. You want to tell him to call since you want to hear his voice, but you’ll take whatever he gives you.
“Is it cold over there?” You come to a stop, not wanting to walk in comfortable silence. You want to make awkward small talk until he leaves. You want to hear his voice until you no longer can.
“Very. Luckily, I have my special sweater to warm me up.” He answers, and you try to smile.
“The same sweater you said was a weird color.” You tease, and he clicks his tongue. He ends up letting out a low chuckle before agreeing.
“I’ll still put it on because you got it for me. Even if it doesn’t suit me.” He replies.
People walk around you, the area becoming crowded. Boarding is about to begin.
Zayne isn’t one for public display of affection, but he doesn’t fight back the hug that you give him. He won’t take your love for granted this time. He holds you tight, allowing himself to enjoy the comfortable embrace. A comfort that won’t be just around the corner anymore.
“I’m going to miss you so so much.” You’re holding back tears as he kisses the top of your head. This is your last chance. Your last chance to turn his life upside down.
“I’ll miss you too.” He responds. You look into his eyes, but you quickly look away, scared that he’ll notice the guilt in your gaze. “Will you wait for me?”
“Always.” You force a chuckle before kissing his lips. He cups your face, taking a good look at your face. He wants to remember every aspect of you as accurately as he can. He wants to shut his eyes and remember every feature of your face as light as day. “I love you, Zayne.”
“I love you too.” He kisses your forehead, and you can nearly throw up. You’re despicable.
Boarding begins, and you have to let go. Zayne looks back at you one last time, giving you one more chance to stop him and confess.
You don’t.
You fight back tears and wave at him as he walks away, choosing to remain silent. Regardless of your choice, resentment will brew.