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She made her steps quiet, even though she had hardly seen a soul since she stepped foot in the Soli-Tree. Each shift in the walls made her flinch; each bit of debris moved by her foot made her freeze. Anything could be a threat, in a place like this.
But still, nothing came to investigate. The hallways were quiet and the air was stale.
She didn't like how simple it all felt. She gave a sideways glance at the sconces lining the edge of the platform. (Tacky. Not that it really mattered.)
Silently, she stepped onto the elevator.
Perhaps simple was not the right word, she thought as the seconds going up dragged on; instead it was the quiet cruelty of a trap left wide open and a leg stepping in.
The elevator reached its destination.
It was eerily silent as she stepped forward--no creaking or shuffling or snapping or breathing. Just...nothing. So utterly exposing in its absence, making her tense even as her mind logically told her nothing was truly there. If something was there, she would hear it.
The walls were dark as she hesitantly made her way across the room, the screens adorning them turned off for the time being. Cozette eyed them apprehensively, but they did not react to her movement.
So empty. She stopped in the center of the room, assessing her surroundings.
There was nowhere to hide in this glorified hallway. That was both good and bad.
Nothing was out of her sight, but...she couldn't be out of theirs either. An even playing field, she supposed. Or as even as it got.
The screens didn't look to be hiding anything either, even if they unnerved her.
There was a shift to her right. She spun to face it, eyes narrowed--
--nothing. Wires swayed in the wind that seeped through the cracks and sparked weakly. Cozette looked at them for an agonizingly long moment. And then she looked away.
Cozette loosened her stance, straightening back up and fixing her scarf. "It's nothing." she murmured to herself. It felt comforting to hear a voice, even if it was just her own. "Just the wind. You're being paranoid," an almost-chastise. She sighed.
The air stank of ozone and decay. Revolting in its familiarity.
She didn't want to walk forward. She never had, but it felt even more paralyzing now, staring into the jaws of finality like this. Her legs felt like they were made of lead even as she took another step. And then she forced another into the dark silence ahead of her. Just a little further.
To go forward was to leave the safety of her escape route. There would be no way to flee if she went further--if there even was now.
This meant throwing all of it away.
No. She was getting too in her head. It didn't matter how much her fear was justified; it was clouding her judgement. If she got too focused on her thoughts, if she froze for just an instant too long...
There would be no second chance.
She knew that.
Of course she had known that.
...
Her hands were cold. She held them against her body to try and warm them up, but it barely did anything. She had to be close to the top now--only that kind of altitude would make it this frigid.
She shifted on her feet and looked up. Her eyes widened a bit. There were glimpses of the sky that could be seen where vegetation had shot its way through metal. She had been right. This must be nearly the top.
The sight was a welcome surprise, even if it looked sickly. It was a deep red, almost glowing where wood and dark clouds didn't obscure her view of it. Fading for a moment and then brightening anew, over and over again. Breathing, almost.
Cozette couldn't tell what time it was. She had no idea how long she had been gone.
How long since she left the Great Lighthouse; how long she had been climbing; how long it had been since Connie noticed she was missing--none of it.
Just the eerie tranquility of a forever-twilight.
Her fists clenched by her sides and she wrenched her eyes away from the sky. None of that mattered. It wasn't relevant now, and it certainly wouldn't be relevant later. She couldn't stall any longer--and she shouldn't want to. Had she forgotten how much was at stake here?
Failure wasn't an option. There was only one path forwards, and she was walking it.
She took a purposeful step forwards.
Something constricted around her.
Sharp points dug into the sides of her arms, pulling them taut against her sides and nearly bringing her to her knees as it dragged her backwards. She tried to turn and face her opponent, but her struggling merited nothing but a mad cackle in her ear.
And that laugh was all she needed to know.
Cozette went still at once.
"I knew you would come crawling back!" he cried, his voice uncomfortably loud this close. It felt like she had been drenched in ice. "I just knew it! I'm always right!"
It took her a moment to formulate words; preparing for the worst-case scenario very rarely actually prepares you for staring death in the face. Everything felt jumbled and wrong in her mind, suddenly useless when she needed it most.
"Reclusa," she settled on, keeping her voice as even as she could.
The one in question, as she said his name, turned himself so he was within her line of sight, still clutching her arms against her sides with his own upper set of arms. His wires dangled in front of her face as he looked at her upside-down.
Reclusa grinned wildly at her. "Yes indeed! The one and lonely!" he announced proudly, wires writhing in excitement as he spoke, their sharp tips dangerously close to grazing her face. He clapped with his lower set of arms.
And then, a pause.
A claw tapped against his face. "But you're not just here to bask in my victory, are you? And definitely not for a visit? You KNOW I hate those."
Cozette hesitated, a lie on the tip of her tongue--and then she bit it back. The giddy tilt of his head said it all. He knew before she even said it. She narrowed her eyes ever so slightly. "Of course not."
Reclusa snickered. And then, suddenly, he released her. She stumbled back, barely catching herself out of a true fall. She straightened up and looked at him quizzically. He spun right-side up and put one set of hands on his hips, pointing accusatorily with another. "You're just here trying to buy time for all those other ones, aren't you? GROSS!" There was a pout in his voice, even as he continued to smile. "That's the only reason why you would come see me!"
She clenched her fists. "I'm atoning for what I've done," she said carefully, gaze sharp. That was all he needed to know.
"By, what, coming to me unarmed?" Reclusa cackled incredulously, his hands loosening from where he was holding them. She barely had time to sidestep the swing that came down where she had just been standing, one clawed hand slamming against the ground with lethal force and a hiss of flames. His screen glowed a sickly purple when he turned to look at her, single pupil constricted. "Did they just have too many people on that ship? A little too crowded for you?"
She instinctively reached towards her neck as she took another step back.
There was nothing there but her scarf.
She frowned. "I'm of more use to them here."
"Pssh yeah, sure, look! You've got me!" Reclusa's expression changed back to normal as he wiggled his fingers playfully, wisps of Glohm sparking in the air. "Soooo distracted right now! Quite a good use of your time!"
Cozette's face flushed, despite everything. "This is serious. It isn't a game."
A concentrated mass of Glohm formed in his palm and then shot at her like a bullet. She was able to duck under it fairly easily. He tilted his head. "Aw, what a killjoy! Of course it is!"
"It's not." She focused her attention to her center, digging deep into her core. A warmth was nestled there, quiet but ever-present, and she reached for it. Cozette focused her energy into her palms and--!
Nothing. Nothing but the crackle of electricity along her fingers. A far cry from the protective barrier it could have--should have--been.
Reclusa let out a quiet tsk tsk tsk, shaking his head disapprovingly, before rapidly shooting several more blasts at her. "You're never going to get me with an attitude like that!" Cozette ducked and rolled, skidding to a stop behind him. She huffed angrily. "Though, it's not like you can be very magic-y and Bonds-y with no one but little old me for company! Ew, company. Forget I said that!"
"...I don't need them," Cozette said, fixing him with a hard stare. She concentrated again. Deeper. She clenched her fist around the feeling and squeezed.
Nothing happened.
"Aw, Zokket, you never change!" Reclusa laughed, spinning to face her. His screen flickered to an almost comical open-mouth smile as he threw his arms open. "That's what I like about you! So against your own values! It's cute!"
"I know what's important to me," Cozette hissed. She moved into a defensive position, anticipating another attack. If she couldn't retaliate, going on the defensive was her only option. She fixed him with a glare. "You don't know who I am."
Reclusa lunged forward. Not in a strike, or another shot like she was anticipating--she tried to step back, but she was far too slow for it to mean anything. He barreled towards her and lashed out, his hands slamming around her.
She immediately squirmed to try and break free, but he only restricted his hold, prompting a pained gasp from her. He drew her closer to his face, bathing her in a red light.
Reclusa grinned. "But I do know you! I've seen every inch of your little soul! Even the parts you don't like! I could pull you apart and know where each and every one of those pieces of you goes! And put you right back together again!"
Claws grasped at the wires braided up through her cap and pulled. Something snapped, under the casing. It left stars dancing in her vision and pain shooting through her head.
"It's kind of tempting, don't you think?"
"No! Stop!" Cozette cried, all composure melting away. Dread seeped through her body in an all-consuming wave.
The TVs lining the walls flickered to life, dozens of eyes suddenly focused directly on her. Yellow burned holes in her vision. "What's wrong? Cold feet? I thought you wanted to be a sacrifice!"
She tried to steady her breathing, tried to regain some kind of mental purchase over the panic rising in her chest. Her reflection in his screen looked back at her with wide, horrified eyes. "I...I don't..."
"Why else would you come here? So weak and sad and helpless?" His expression mockingly changed to one of upset before flicking back to a grin. "Or are you really so miserable you can't think of anything good to do but die?"
She took a deep breath. He was trying to scare her. That's all this was. "I'm not going to die," Cozette said, more authority in her voice than she felt. She looked him in the eye defiantly, raising her chin. He snickered, but she continued, "You won't kill me."
And then all she could register was overwhelming pressure. Something--she couldn't even tell what it was anymore--was crushing down all around her. Cozette could barely understand the words being said through the pain screaming in her senses.
"You really believe that? REALLY? I thought you were smart!"
"Stop...!" A moment too late. Something in her chest buckled. Another thing cracked. Static burned along her ribs and dripped down her side.
"Oops! Look at how fragile you are!" It squeezed harder. Plating grinded against plating. Her vision threatened to go black, wavering and fading on the edges, but the blissful nothingness refused to come for her. So close and yet so far. "You're all so breakable!"
Then, by some miracle, there was a reprieve. She could breathe again.
It didn't matter that she was flung to the ground, hitting the floor and rolling several painful feet before coming to a stop. All that mattered is that it had stopped.
She sucked in a desperate breath, then another, and another.
"Go on, get up! Now's not the time to stop being heroic!" Reclusa's voice grated on her hearing--or, what she could hear of it over the ringing that only seemed to be growing louder in her ears. She could imagine the finger waggle that went along with it, even if she couldn't see him from where she was laying. "Come on!"
He was right, Cozette realized through her daze. She couldn't give up. They all still needed her.
It didn't matter how badly she was hurt. Surrender wasn't an option. Not this quickly.
She needed to be tougher than this.
Cozette steeled her nerves and put her arms underneath herself. The pain was blinding. She didn't think anything could hurt this badly, after everything she had already gone through. Every part of her body was screaming at her to stop and lay down, please, just don't move any more.
One hand on the ground. The other against her chest, holding it together even as more static burnt at her fingers. A sharp inhale.
She pushed herself into a kneel.
Reclusa laughed. "So strong! So resilient! Do you want me to send out a newsletter about all this?"
She couldn't stop. One foot underneath herself. And then, with a push from her free arm, she got to her feet. Reclusa clapped in the background. "Wow! So impressive!"
Another blow slammed into her chest, and she went flying into the wall. She fell to the ground in a crumpled heap.
She did not move to get back up.
"Oops! Maybe not!"
It all hurt so much. Wounds that had only half-healed sparked along her limbs and pain radiated from her chest in agonizing waves. It felt like something was loose, and whether that was new or old was distressingly uncertain in her mind. Her arm was definitely broken.
Cozette could barely raise her head to look at him.
"Okay, now again! Get up again!" he exclaimed. He surged over to her in an instant, stopping right in front of her to prop his face up on his hands. She flinched away, but he still leaned in conspiratorially to yell what should have been a whisper, "Don't disappoint me now!"
It was so hard to formulate words. "You...won't..." Her voice was an unhealthy rasp, barely even audible. "You won't win."
"Uh-huh? Why not? I think I just did!" Reclusa gingerly grabbed her good arm in his fingers and waved it around, but she really didn't have the energy to stop that, even if it hurt. He dropped it disappointedly at her non-reaction, letting out a quiet noise of discontent.
Cozette let out a tired wheeze. She wanted to close her eyes. "They're...better than me."
"Oh, you're just talking about those simpletons," he grumbled, leaning away and crossing his arms. He frowned. "Boring! They're just...scuttling around on their little ship, doing nothing interesting, saying nothing interesting! Just holding hands and all that other worthless drivel! Disgustingly committed to their little 'friendship' bit!"
Reclusa paused for a moment, seemingly thinking. It was the most still she had seen him, barely shifting in the air, hands stilled by his sides. And then, he smiled wider, leaning back in. "None of those things are as fun to mess with as you! Don't tell anyone I said that, though."
She...didn't know if that was good or if it was awful. Probably more awful. Fear was definitely overpowering whatever twisted pride she might feel over being valued. It was hard, even with her mind so cloudy, not to imagine what kind of horrible future that would mean for her, if help arrived too late.
(If they ever arrived at all, a more cynical part of her whispered.)
Maybe this was better for the rest of them, though. If he was so thoroughly distracted with her, then he wouldn't go after them. That was what she wanted. Wasn't that why she was here? To give them all a fighting chance? So that she wasn't in their way?
And Cozette could keep this up, right? Long enough for any of this to matter? For hours, days, weeks, months?
"Are you dead? Hello?" Reclusa poked at her face as he spoke, frowning. Cozette looked at him blankly, every thought in her head finally stalling out. It was too much. It was all too much. She didn't have the energy or awareness about her for anything. She had reached the end of a disappointingly short rope and was left clutching at loose fibers.
And then she dropped her head to the ground.
"Oh, you ARE dead, aren't you?" he said with the mild annoyance of someone who just chipped their new mug.
Cozette almost didn't know how to respond to that. For a moment she considered not saying anything, in a blind hope he would just leave. But too many horrible what-ifs filled her mind too quickly. "I'm alive..." she said, not as muffled as it could have been considering her hat kept her face from truly hitting the floor.
A pause. "Are you nearly dead?" There was genuine curiosity in his voice, as if it was something actually unsure in his mind.
Cozette considered that. There was a very real chance that the answer to that question was 'yes', unfortunately. She took a deep breath in. It rattled disconcertingly around in her chest, but at the very least it hurt less than it did a moment ago. Maybe that was a good sign. "No."
"Then get back up." Reclusa said, curiosity very quickly morphing into thinly veiled frustration.
She sucked in a quick breath. Just the idea of it made her limbs ache. "I...can't," she said, low and quiet. Shame churned in her stomach. "I can't."
"Of course you can! So useless!" Cozette felt something wrap around her again, this time lighter, but barely less painful. Jagged points poked at wounds in her chest and squeezed against the break in her arm, sending shocks down her body. But just as quickly, it dropped her, leaving her upright on her trembling legs. The vines retreated back into the floor from where they came.
"Ta-da! There!" He held his hands out as if this was a logical course of action, smiling proudly. "You're up, see?"
Cozette collapsed to her knees, trying to bite back tears at the pain shooting through her body as her agitated wounds screamed at her anew.
She tried so hard not to cry. She tried so, so hard.
But unfortunately she could only hold back so much. And it was a battle she had no hope of winning. She felt tears run down her face and down to the ground below, whether she liked it or not. How pathetic.
Reclusa shifted in her peripheral, not that she was quite focused on that. "What? Stop that."
More pathetic still that she couldn't stop, more only following even as she tried to stifle it. The kind of silent tears that come when you least want them, warm and uncomfortable against your skin.
What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she just control herself? Why couldn't she just stay composed, just stay sharp, just stay useful--
Cozette barely registered Reclusa's movement coming closer in the corner of her eye before her body moved on its own. She felt electricity run down her arm in the same instant she grabbed onto one of his lower hands and held on as tightly as she dared, her hand wrapping around his fingers and holding it close even as it stung at her skin.
And the very next instant, electricity wreathed both of them in an ethereal light.
It was all she had left. Everything she had and more. It was scared and angry and hopeless and dangerous, a shank when it should have been a shield. But it didn't matter.
None of that mattered, she realized in a moment of clarity.
All she wanted to do was hurt him. Hurt him like he hurt her, over and over and over again. Emotionally. Physically. Everything and everyone. She wanted to desecrate everything he had in him. Until they were both just as broken and useless.
She vaguely heard him shriek.
And then it was over.
It had taken only a moment for the damage to be done, and only a moment more for him to yank away. Black scorch marks shot up his arm and spread through his body, the Glohm making them up struggling to reform over it, ugly and painful through his chest. She smiled lightly as her vision wavered.
But she couldn't ignore the way his screen lit up her vision, otherworldly fury burning her eyes. "YOU." he snarled, clenching at his wound with one hand and slamming two of his other hands against the ground. "HOW DARE YOU! YOU--!"
Cozette closed her eyes with a wince, waiting for the final blow to land. It wouldn't even need to be particularly much--it felt like much of anything would do her in. Just one more moment of pain, and then it would be over.
Maybe this had been enough. Maybe it hadn't been. It was out of her hands now.
She really, truly had done all she could do.
But the moments kept ticking on. One after another, so agonizingly slow, but continuous. Uninterrupted.
She hesitantly opened her eyes.
And her gaze immediately locked on Reclusa's. His wires twitched in agitation, the TVs on the walls flickering yellow and purple around them. His claws flexed dangerously.
But he didn't attack. He just stayed there, still and unnaturally silent, whatever thoughts might be going through his head completely beyond her. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly.
And then he pulled away.
He floated backwards, getting out of her face and folding his lower arms huffily. "It doesn't matter!! I don't need you! Be difficult! I don't care!" he asserted with a sneer. He pointed at her. "I don't care about any of this!"
Cozette reached out to try and grab his cloak, but he was already out of her reach. "No...don't..." Her hand barely grazed the trim.
His expression stayed furious a second longer, looking down at her with violent, seething contempt--before turning back to a smile at her futile attempt to reach for him. "Too laaaate! You missed out on your chance! Now you just have to sit with that disgusting feeling and think about what you've done~!" He tilted his head playfully. "Yes, I think that's what you deserve!"
No. No no no no no. "You can't...leave...me..." She didn't know what to do. What would he do if she let him leave? What could she do keep him here? Her foggy thoughts were no help, and something told her there wasn't any better answer to this riddle. "You..."
He cackled, bobbing in the air. "I can! And I will! You don't control me!! I was getting sick of all this talking anyway!" The little wave he gave her would have been entertaining if it didn't feel like her life had just collapsed in on itself like a house of cards. "See you at the end of the world~! Have fun rotting!"
Reclusa spun deliberately around in the air so his back was to her, and then...
He was gone.
Just like that. No flash or bang or fanfare--just utter silence.
Cozette stared at the place where he used to be.
It was shockingly empty. Horrifically dark. Her good hand still lingered in the air, shaking as she tried to hold it aloft, fingertips stinging in the cold.
She felt so...hollow.
Hollow and useless.
It had all been so useless.
Not just her life, slowly draining through her fingers; but all of this. All of this had been, all of it would be. None of it meant anything, in the end. Just meaningless blips, one after another, until they too were forgotten.
Worthless. Look where free will got her--battered and bloodied and alone.
The room did not provide any insight. There was nothing but the crackle of electricity.
So what had been the point of any of this? What lesson was there to learn other than the crushing horror of inevitability? That she could bleed? That there was nothing she could have done?
She felt tears prick at her eyes anew, but she didn't give them the satisfaction of falling. She buried her face in the crook of her good arm.
She didn't know. She didn't know and it terrified her. The sheer futility of it all threatened to consume her. And there was no one to tell her otherwise. No joyous, hopeful cheers and no jaded, pessimistic mutters.
Just the wind and her rasping breaths.
A miserable, desperate part of her wished he was still here. She couldn't smother it fast enough.
It quietly wished he had taken her with him. Wished that this emptiness inside her was replaced something, anything other than the cold pain and hopelessness washing over her.
Anything other than this.
She wanted, she wanted, she wanted. But she got nothing in exchange. Nothing but reality check after reality check.
And no one could truly stop reality. Only delay it.
It didn't matter. That was just a part of her. And all of it was quickly fading as her adrenaline did. The unconsciousness that had been wavering on the edges of her mind was pressing in now, warm and inviting in its offer of nonexistence. She didn't need to think about any of that, it whispered. Not false promises of gods nor the death of the world she had damned. Just dreamless sleep. She deserved that, right?
She might not deserve happiness, but she at least deserved that.
She barely resisted as the darkness overtook her vision.
And everything went black.