Chapter 1: Discussions
Chapter Text
Marias Pov
A loud buzzing woke Maria up. How was it already 5am? It felt like she’d just gone to sleep. She would kill for just a few more hours of sleep. Actually never mind that would probably just give her more work and more inhumane wake up times.
Sighing internally she reached her hand next to the bed to turn off the alarm sitting on her bedside table that was currently blaring. She moved her hand around until she found her phone. She picked it up and finally turned it off.
She then unlocked her phone to cancel the just-incase alarm that would have gone off in five minutes (the one Natasha always teased her about). Had she ever used it? No, but being deputy director of Shield, she couldn’t risk not waking up on time. After checking her calendar for the day - which was obviously full to the brim as usual - she put her phone back on the table plopping her head back onto the soft pillow.
Maria carefully shifted to look at the person laying beside her. She admired the figure for a second. Then carefully moved the red strands of hair out of the girl's face. Quietly she whispered, “Nat it's time to get up”, as she planted a kiss on her forehead.
Natasha slowly opened her eyes. Maria couldn’t help but admire them. They were a deep emerald green; they were the prettiest eyes she’d ever seen in her life. She could stare into those eyes for hours and be content. Natasha tightened her grip around Maria’s waist and nuzzled her head into the crook of her neck.
“I’m sleeping”, she mumbled, obviously not sleeping but still sounding groggy.
“Come on. I have meetings to attend, and you need to get to the tower for training, you know you promised to go on a run with Steve.”
Natasha groaned, removing her head from Maria’s neck and giving her a death stare. As intimidating as she was trying to look, Maria could see the warmth in her eyes. Instead of responding she just gave her a peck on the lips and pulled Natasha off her.
She turned the lamp on. The room was illuminated by the small lamp on the bedside table. The bedroom wasn’t big, but it wasn’t small either. The walls were painted beige and covered with a couple paintings and pictures.
Even with so many things adorning the walls her favourite decoration was the picture on her night stand. It was of her and Nat at the Barton’s farm in the picture they were both smiling and covered in flour. They’d tried to bake some biscuits for the kids, but Natasha had dropped the flour on the floor covering the entire kitchen and them in flour. At that point they’d been dating for a couple of years, but weren’t yet married. It was one of Maria’s fondest memories with her wife. They’d been married for a couple years now, but Maria still couldn’t get over saying that she was her wife.
Even though it was technically Maria’s house she thought of it as both of theirs. They’d decorated it together and made all their memories there together. Though most importantly they lived there together.
As Maria stood up Natasha loudly sighed though eventually also got out of bed. The redhead left the room to go into the kitchen as she went up to their closet, rummaging through it until she found the clothes she was looking for. After dressing quickly she joined her in the kitchen. As soon as she entered, the smell of coffee greeted her. Natasha, who was still in her pajamas, came up to her and pushed a cup of black coffee into her hands.
Natasha couldn’t fathom why she liked her coffee so bitter and plain. Honestly it didn’t taste that good, but the bitterness woke her up and the caffeine was the only thing that could get her through the gruelling work days at Shield.
Maria quickly accepted and gave Natasha a kiss. Which Natasha quickly deepened, wrapping her arms around Maria. Eventually they (unfortunately) had to pull apart.
“Have I told you that I’m in love with you?”
Natasha chuckled, “Yes you have, but I’m starting to believe that you’re just with me for the coffee I make you”, then kissed her again.
Maria wished she could freeze time and just stay here forever, but unfortunately she had work. Work that happened to be incredibly important to a government agency. Work that most other agents would greatly fuck up.
Maria quickly left the meeting room. She’d been trapped in there for the past two hours and was not planning on staying there for any longer than absolutely necessary. It was getting late and she couldn’t wait to go home. She opened her phone and saw a message from Natasha.
--------------------------------------
Nat <3
N: Stark wants you to come to meeting
room B5
M: Any idea why?
N: Nope he also summoned me and the
rest of the avengers
M: Be there in 30
See you soon
N: Okay love you
M: Love you too nat
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Why the hell did Stark want her and the others to come to the meeting room? Was going home really too much to ask for?
After finishing a couple things up and some minutes of walking she finally made it to the room. When she opened the door she was met with all the avengers faces. They were all sitting down at the table except for Stark who stood at the front of the room. She locked eyes with Natasha smiling ever so slightly at the sight of her wife. She quickly closed the door and took a seat next to the woman in question.
“Okay great, everyones finally here”, he glanced at Maria who glared at him. Taking the hint Tony quickly continued, “You are all probably wondering why I asked you to come here…”
At this point Maria was starting to get annoyed. She’d been working for longer than she’d like to think about. All she wanted was to go home, order take out, cuddle up with her wife and watch a movie.
“Out with it Stark we don’t have all day”, Maria snapped exasperated. She felt a hand on her leg, it was Natasha, probably trying to calm her. She knew she was being a bit harsh, but she really did not have the patience for this.
“Okay, okay. So hear me out on this. You all should move into the tower”, before anyone could interrupt him he quickly continued, “I just finished renovating. There's an apartment sized room for each of you, a common area where we could hang out, a huge training facility, and best of all you all can live rent free and with unlimited food.”
“Wait”, Clint started, “You want all of us to live together? That sounds like a good idea to you?” Clint had his eyebrows raised still in disbelief.
Steve opened his mouth, “I think it would be fun. It would also be great team bonding. We could all really get to know each other. I’m definitely in.”
“See Steve gets it!”
Natasha raised an eyebrow, “And you got Pepper to agree to this how?”
“For your information she agreed very quickly. Said it would be good for the press and our productivity.”
“And?” Natasha coaxed.
Tony looked down. “She also may have said that it would help keep me out of trouble.”
Satisfied with the answer the woman nodded. Bruce started asking a couple questions about the details. Eventually he also agreed to moving in. Mainly for 24/7 access to the lab. Wanda also ended up agreeing after thinking it over for a bit.
Tony turned to look at the three remaining people that hadn’t said anything: her, Natasha, and Clint. “So what’s the verdict?”
Maria met Natasha’s eyes. She knew neither of them could really agree or disagree without talking about it. Before they could decide what to do Clint spoke up, “How about we get back to you tomorrow. It’s late and I don’t know about you, but I really would like to go home and sleep.”
She made a mental note to thank Clint later. Anyways he probably hadn’t given a definitive answer because he was waiting to hear whether they were moving in, or more specifically Natasha.
That answer seemed to satisfy Stark; at least for now. They all said their goodbyes to each other and left the room to go their separate ways.
“So whaddya think?” Natasha looked up at her. They were sitting on the couch – correction Maria was sitting on the couch and Natasha was sitting on her. The episode had just ended. They had been planning on watching a movie, but by the time they got home they could not find the energy to pick one; so they ended up just rewatching friends.
Maria looked down, meeting her (very pretty) eyes, “About what?”
“You know moving into the tower and stuff.”
The brunette thought for a second then replied, “In theory wouldn’t be a bad idea, shorter commute, free food, easy access to training facilities, but do we want to tell them about our relationship?”
Natasha took Maria’s hand into hers fidgeting with it; something she often did absentmindedly. “Well we wouldn’t have to tell them about us.”
“If we lived together they would find out at one point.”
At that Natasha gave her signature smirk, the one that always, without fail, made Maria smile, “Sure, but don’t you want to know how long it would take them to find out?”
“You want to see how long it would take them to figure it out?” she couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, “You do realise we might die before Stark finally realises.”
“Cmon Masha it would be fun,”
Maria finally folded, agreeing then kissing her beautiful wife.
Natasha’s phone pinged.
--------------------------------------
BowBoy
B: You two moving in? I will if you two do
(I cannot survive that alone)
N: Yupp
B: So you’re telling them about you two?
N: Nope :D
B: You do realise how chaotic this will be?
N: Obviously, why else would we not tell them?
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Chapter 2: Interrogations
Notes:
So I want to start this off with saying that I'm so sorry for the late update. After after the first chapter I realised that I completely forgot to plan out the fic... so I've now done that!
My current plan is for each chapter to be an avenger finding out about their relationship (possibly with a couple filler chapters) so the fic will probably end up being 15k-ish words?
Without further ado let's get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Natasha’s Pov
“And Romanoff, I’m assuming you’re also single?”
The avengers were lounging around the common living room talking and eating pizza. When they’d first moved in Tony had proposed take-out Fridays so no one would have to cook. Which they had all quickly agreed to.
After some chatter of general things like training plans and meetings the conversation shifted to relationships. Even though it started with Clint passively mentioning Cooper’s first girlfriend it quickly spiraled into Tony enthusiastically grilling the group on their love lives.
So far (much to his disappointment) no one had had anything interesting to say. They all knew about Clint's family, currently Wanda wasn’t too interested in dating, Bruce wasn’t currently going on any dates, and Steve had gone on a date but nothing interesting came out of it.
Now Tony had turned to Natasha. He continued looking at her expectantly waiting for a reply. Natasha took a sip of her drink, “If you must know; no, I am in fact not single.” She took another sip of her drink.
For that she got many surprised looks from the others in the room especially from Tony whose jaw quite literally dropped.
“ The Natasha Romanoff has a boyfriend?” he looked at her skeptically, “You really expect us to believe that? We’ve never even heard of this mystery man?”
At that moment Clint came back from the bathroom and Tony seized the opportunity. “So Clint, have you heard of Romanoff’s secret boyfriend?”
Clint turned to Natasha and gave her a puzzled look clearly not expecting this. “Boyfriend..?”
Then, mere seconds after Clint, Maria walked in. As happy as she was to see her; this really was not the best timing. At this point it was almost as if someone was planning this for comedic effect.
Maria’s eyes drifted across the room and its inhabitants until they finally landed on Natasha. As she met the redhead's eyes she smiled softly; in a way that would be unnoticeable to anyone but them.
Then Maria went back to focusing on the confused expressions worn by the people in the room. “What's going on here?” Maria asked.
“We were just discussing Romanoff’s boyfriend.” Bruce supplied helpfully.
Maria raised her eyebrows, “I'm sorry? Boyfriend? Natasha, you've never told me about a boyfriend.” At this point she was smirking slightly, obviously amused by whatever you would call what was going on.
“See no one has heard of this supposed boyfriend! Natasha you really don’t have to lie about not being single, it's nothing to be ashamed of ”, Tony jokingly comforted her.
Natasha just rolled her eyes. Sure they were right about her not having a boyfriend. Though they definitely weren’t right about her lying because she hadn’t said anything about a boyfriend and the last time she checked she definitely was in a relationship.
“I'm sorry, but it's quite hard to believe you’ve got a boyfriend when not even Clint, your closest friend, knows anything about him. Maybe if you had pictures we could believe you?” Even though Steve sounded apologetic, the scepticism was clear in his voice.
To that Natasha just shrugged, “Okay so first off I’m not lying. Second off I honestly don’t care enough about you not believing me to prove my relationship.” She knew she easily could have just kissed Maria then and there, but what was the fun in that? She might as well see how it would play out and judging by the look on Maria’s face she was thinking the same thing.
Tony rolled his eyes, “Whatever lets you sleep at night.” Now he turned to the only person he hadn’t interrogated: Maria, “So Hill, do you have a special someone in your life?”
Maria waited a moment before answering, “If you really must know; yes I am in a relationship”, before anyone could butt-in the woman continued, “And no, before you ask, I will not be answering any questions.”
After the conversation they continued to chat idly for some time. Maria had left quite soon after saying she had to do a couple things. Natasha was sure if she checked her phone there would be a message from her explaining where she went, but as she was about to check her messages Natasha had realised her phone was still in her room.
After that people started slowly excusing themselves to go back to their quarters for the night. Eventually it was just her and Wanda left as they’d both offered to help clean up.
Just as they were leaving Wanda piped up, “It's not a man is it?”
Natasha turned to look at Wanda. She honestly wasn’t surprised that the younger girl had figured it out. The whole time they were having the conversation earlier she hadn't said a word and had been on the verge when the boys were arguing about her lying about having a boyfriend (which again she never said anything about a boyfriend specifically).
“No, no she's not”, she couldn’t hold back the smile that crept onto her lips while saying it.
Natasha got back to her quarters a bit later. She looked at the clock; it was only nine. Which was honestly quite surprising. Often the avengers Friday night get togethers lasted to at least midnight. Though she definitely wasn’t complaining, now she got to have a night in with her amazing wife. However, that would have to wait until said amazing wife got back; since according to her message Maria was still at the shop picking up things they’d forgotten to buy the last time they went.
Her plans of getting changed and in bed were disrupted as she heard a knock on the door. She knew it wasn’t Maria because she had access to the room and wouldn’t have had to knock. Logically she knew it was the tower and the chances of there being an intruder were so impossibly low, but she couldn't help the tiny part inside her head that told her it was danger. That’s what being an assassin and having lived years in near constant danger would do to you.
Pushing those thoughts away she opened the door and to her surprise she saw Nick Fury? Now all her previous thoughts were completely gone. Why was the director of shield standing at her doorstep? It's not like she’d done anything bad recently…okay so scratch that she definitely had, but nothing Nick Fury showing up at her doorstep at 10pm on a Friday night level.
He didn’t wait for her to greet him or anything, he simply pushed a mustard coloured folder into her hands, “I was passing by and decided to bring some papers I have for Hill.”
Now Natasha was even more confused “And you came to my room to give Maria some…papers?”
Fury continued to stare at her dead faced, “Are you saying this isn’t the room she’s also living in?” After saying that he turned around and left.
He wasn’t wrong about that. Tony had obviously given each of them their own room being oblivious to their relationship. But they weren’t going to live in separate places so they'd picked Natasha’s room (mainly due to the fact they preferred the placement of it in the tower).
But the question was how the hell did Fury know that? She knew he was aware of their relationship. He definitely knew because of the copious amounts of paperwork they'd had to file because of Maria being Natasha’s superior, but she also had the suspicion that he knew well before they got to that.
Wait what on earth did he mean by ‘passing by’; why was Fury passing through the tower at this time? To her quite extensive knowledge he didn’t really have any business in the private section of the tower anyway.
Natasha as well as many others would almost definitely call herself mysterious, but honestly she had nothing on that man.
Deciding to leave the mysteries of Nick Fury for another time she put the folder down on the desk and proceeded to shower and get changed.
An hour after that Maria and Natasha were laying in bed relaxing. Maria pulled Natasha closer to her, wrapping her arms around the redhead and kissing her gently on the forehead. Natasha responded by resting her head on the older woman's chest and sighing contentedly. Natasha loved domestic moments like these when she could just be with her wife and lay in the warmth of her arms.
Maria eventually broke the silence, “So what's this I hear about a boyfriend ?”
Natasha shrugged as best she could while keeping her head on Maria, “They asked if I was in a relationship. I obviously said yes because I am”, Natasha smiled up at Maria, “and they just assumed it was with a man.”
Maria laughed, “So now they all think you're dating– sorry lying about dating a man?”
“Well yes , but in my defence that really isn’t my fault, I never said anything about a man. Though not everyone thinks that, Wanda figured out that it wasn’t a man.” Maria couldn’t help but be amused by her wife’s antics.
“Nat, what’s the yellow folder on the desk?”
The girl in question groaned, “I have no fucking idea. Fury said he was ‘passing by’,” Natasha put air quotes around that, “and he dropped that off for you.”
Maria furrowed her eyebrows and Natasha just shook her head.
Notes:
Thank you so much for reading I hope you've enjoyed!
I'm less busy now so I should be able to stick to my uploading schedule (which if you don't remember is every 2 weeks).
Bye for now and I will hopefully see you in 2(ish) weeks!
Chapter 3: Schemes
Notes:
I know I said two weeks I am so sorry for the late update, I really wish I had a good excuse for taking so long but I really have no defence.
But moving on from my shortcomings in regards to my updating schedule please enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Maria's Pov
Maria sat on the bed going through her schedule for the day. She had uncommonly little planned a couple meetings: one with some junior agents, one with Phil, Melinda, and Bobbi, and finally one with Fury. The amount of meetings wasn’t surprising. The thing that was surprising was that the earliest one was at 2pm and that other than that all she had to do was fill out some paperwork, sure it was tedious, but she still had much more free time than usual. Once Natasha got out of the shower she’d probably offer to go to the gym with her later.
She definitely regretted not checking her calendar the previous night because she really had no reason to be up this early; sure it wasn’t as early as she’d usually have woken up, but it was still unnecessarily early.
It was only- she glanced at the time displayed on her phone it was 14 minutes over 7am, but she’d already had the time to get dressed, take a long shower, and finish off reviewing a mission plan.
Oh well; no point in wasting the morning at this point she might as well finish everything now and do something more enjoyable later.
Maria swung her legs over the bed and gently pushed herself off the plush bed. She padded across the room to the desk picking up all the papers strewn across the desk from the previous night. Gently she picked them up and tucked them into her bag; that had previously been leaning against the table legs.
As she was picking up her – unfortunately empty – coffee thermos a soft knock on the door interrupted her action. Her eyebrows scrunched together she wasn’t expecting anyone was she? She scanned her mind; no she definitely wasn’t expecting anyone.
She put her thermos back on the table and walked to the door. She opened it and was met with a slightly nervous looking wanda. As her eyes met the other girls the witches jaw dropped and her expression switched from nervous to shocked. After a quick silence a small smirk appeared on her face.
Now Maria was really confused what on earth had she done to warrant these facial expressions?
Wanda was the first to break the silence, “ You’re Natasha’s girlfriend?” At that moment Maria properly clocked the fact that she was in what was technically Natasha’s bedroom at 7am. Oh, yeah that would explain the looks.
“Well”, Maria slightly tilted her head to the side, “technically I’m her wife, but yes.”
Wanda echoed her, “ Wife? How long have you two been together?” she paused for a second probably remembering Maria saying she wouldn’t be answering any questions the other day, “only if you don’t mind saying.”
She smiled and shook her head, “No don’t worry it’s okay, we’ve been together for around nine years – the start was a bit unclear – and married for three of those years, though in a couple months it’ll be four”, she watched the younger girl smile before asking, “did you want something or…?”
“Oh yes! Sorry I got sidetracked, Clint and I were supposed to meet Natasha at seven because they promised to train me a bit and he sent here to see where she was.”
As Maria was about to start talking the bathroom door opened and a fully dressed Natasha walked out towel drying her hair, her eyes widened, “Shit I’m sorry it slipped my mind; give me five minutes and I will be there.”
Maria rolled her eyes at her wife’s forgetfulness as Wanda nodded and walked away. She closed the door as the girl left.
The redhead spoke, “She definitely figured us out.”
“I’m not surprised at all she’s definitely the most aware of the things happening around her out of all the avengers.”
Natasha hummed in agreement before continuing drying her hair.
Since Maria had the time she’d elected to go to the communal kitchen and have breakfast there instead of just having it in her office. She had her laptop open beside her as she ate so she could reply to emails she’d gotten while she was asleep, which was (annoyingly) quite a lot as per usual due to how international SHIELD was, therefore agents were in all sorts of timezones.
Though if Natasha saw her doing this she'd probably chew her out and say she was a workaholic (which admittedly might not be entirely untrue).
She heard the people coming before before she was able to see them.
“- don’t think she’d like that at all”, came Steve's voice. She then saw Tony, Steve, and Bruce walk in from the corner of her eye. From the fragment of their conversation she’d heard so far, they seemed to be arguing about something.
They stopped as they saw her. Tony looked at her quizzically, “ What are you doing?”
Maria pointed at her half finished food and raised her eyebrows, “Eating…?”
“Oh yeah dumb question…by the way where’s Nat? She’s not in this room is she?” Tony asked suspiciously nervously.
She raised her eyebrows as she replied, “She’s training with Wanda and CLint. Why?”
“Oh no nothing I was just…wondering.”
She turned back to her food and put her headphones on, but didn’t play any music. Their conversation had piqued her interest enough for her to listen in and anyways it was much more entertaining than her emails. She could hear them, but couldn’t see them since they went to sit at the sofas behind her.
After a couple seconds they continued their conversation.
“Tony I agree with Steve she definitely won’t appreciate it. I don’t think it’s a good idea, I really don’t want to get on her bad side.” If she wasn’t interested before she definitely was now.
Tony sighed loudly, “If it goes wrong – which it won’t because it’s a great idea – I’ll take the blame and leave you two out of it. Come on, it'll be good for Nat. She lied about having a boyfriend: she's clearly lonely.”
Now she was not only greatly intrigued, but also incredibly weary about where this was going. Deciding to eavesdrop onto the conversation was seeming like a better and better decision by the second. Especially since it concerned Natasha.
Steve spoke next, “Tony you’re planning to set Natasha up on a blind date. How on earth are you going to get here to even show up, let alone enjoy it?”
Blind date , they were planning to set up Natasha – her wife – on a blind date. Sure they didn’t know they were dating but still she really did not appreciate this. Even with all this she stayed quiet. She definitely wanted to speak out on this, but she also really wanted to see where this was going.
“I have this all planned out. I'll simply tell her all of us are meeting up at the restaurant when she gets there I’ll text her and tell her that she’s actually on a blind date and by that time she’ll already be there so she’ll have to stay. And her date is one of Pepper’s friend’s brother: who is handsome, smart, and nice so she’ll surely like him.”
Maria couldn’t help but laugh internally at how ridiculous Tony’s scheme was.
“If it’s Pepper’s friend’s brother that means she knows right?” there was an awkward pause before Bruce asked again, “Right?”
“Well…her friend definitely knows… but think about it we want her to be happy don’t we? We’re just trying to help her.”
Maria heard Steve sigh behind her, “Fine we’ll go along with it, but if she’s mad we’re blaming you.”
She couldn’t see, but she was still sure that Tony was smiling at his ‘genius’ plan. She continued listening to see if they had anything to add, but they were seemingly done talking about that and flowed into talking about suit upgrades.
The door to her office opened without warning. Maria didn’t even need to look up to see who had just walked in. She knew it was Natasha because like clockwork she came in daily to give her coffee and talk.
She turned to look up at the girl now standing next to her. She smiled as the intruder bent down to kiss her on the lips. A kiss that she very happily engaged in.
As they pulled apart Natasha spoke, “I brought you coffee”, she placed the cup in front of Maria and walked to sit in the chair opposite her.
“Thank you Tasha, it is very much appreciated”, she smiled more as she spoke happy to see the woman she was in love with.
The girl opposite her pulled her feet up onto the chair and rested her chin on her knee (the girl could not sit normally to save her life), “So how's your day going.”
At that she remembered the conversation she’d overheard earlier, “You’ll never guess what the boys are planning to do”, Natasha hummed urging her to go on, “since they think you’re so lonely that you’re lying about having boyfriend they- well mainly Stark have decided to set you up on a blind date and disguise it as a group dinner.”
Natasha scoffed incredulously before getting up again walking towards Maria. This time she didn’t just stand next to her: she instead moved the hands of the seated woman away and promptly plopped herself on her lap.
Her hands came up to cup Maria’s face, “You know I’m yours and yours only.” Judging by her words she probably must have looked quite displead sharing what they said. Maria of course knew this, but she still didn’t like the idea of her wife going on a date with a random man.
She pulled her closer, “ I love you so much”, she didn’t respond, just kissed her again – deeper this time, “What are you planning to do with this blind date.”
Natasha grinned in a feline like manner, “I’ll figure something out.”
Notes:
I hope you enjoyed!
And this time I swear Ill actually update in two weeks
Chapter 4: Set-ups
Notes:
What I actually updated on time??? this is crazyy
No but genuinly so proud of myself for updating not only according to schedule (the schedule that I myself created and have not abided by once before this) but early too!
so hopefully I keep this going and please enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Natasha’s Pov
Natasha watched as Maria typed on her keyboard, her hair glistening in the sunlight coming from the window. Her lunch lay forgotten on the desk as she admired the girl.
“You’re staring”, Maria didn’t look up as she spoke, the only sign that she’d even spoken was the corners of her mouth being pulled up slightly in a small amused smile.
Natasha smirked, “Am I not allowed to stare at my breathtakingly beautiful wife ?” Maria rolled her eyes amused at her wife’s routine antics
They fell back into the comfortable silence with Natasha still happily staring at the brunette as she worked.
A chain of pings from her phone redirected her eyesight. So she picked it up and unlocked it.
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Iron Wallet
I: We’re all meeting at The Downtown Bistro at
7:00 dress fancy
I: Like date fancy
I: Not that it’s a date, it’s not a date it’s a
meet up
I: You’re free and going to come right?
I: Right?
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“Well Tony's put his master plan into action.”
Maria looked up from her computer, “He texted you?”
“Yup”, Natasha popped the ‘p’ and flipped the phone to show her, “And he did so in the least suspicious way ever.”
Maria scoffed at the messages, “Oh damn I’m beyond thankful that he’s not an agent of mine”, Natasha put her phone back down, “So what’s your plan for this”, she air quoted the words, “‘Team meet up’?”
“I don’t really want to ghost the poor guy. I'd assume he had no part in this mess, but I’m obviously not going to go on the date. I’m just going to go there, explain the situation, ask him to relay some choice words to Tony, and tell him to order as much food as he wants because I’m assuming Tony's paying since he did set it up.”
“While you’re there, could you get some food from us? It's a nice place.”
Natasha nodded, “Anything specific you have in mind?”
“Not really, you know what I like, choose something please?”
“Of course детка.” At that Maria smiled wider making Natahsa’s heart flutter slightly; even though they’d been together for ages it had never become any less butterfly inducing.
Natasha hadn’t dressed up for the date- no, rejection maybe? – honestly she had no idea what to call the thing she was at – she wasn’t going to dress up for a random whatever, she only dressed up for Maria and no one else (except for missions, but that doesn’t really count since it’s more for an objective than a person). So here she was in jeans and a hoodie standing outside the restaurant.
Her phone pinged, bringing her out of her thoughts.
--------------------------------------
Iron Wallet
I: You there?
N: Yep
I: Great, we’re not actually meeting up you’re
on a date with a man called derek
I: Please please don’t kill me, just enjoy
yourself!
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Natasha sent a couple messages back feigning annoyance – well not exactly feigning annoyance she was definitely annoyed about him trying to trick her even if vastly unsuccessfully. Though quite unsurprisingly none of them delivered, he had probably blocked her.
She sighed, put away her phone, and walked through the doors of the restaurant. By far it wasn’t the nicest place she’d been to, but it was still definitely fancy. She scanned the room trying to find the man that Tony had assumed was her type. There. A brunette well dressed man who looked to be in his late 30s sitting alone.
She started walking over to him, as she was a couple meters from the table he glanced up at their eyes meeting.
Quickly he stood up to meet her offering out his hand, "You must be Natasha it’s so nice to meet you.” She shook his hand and greeted him then took a seat opposite him.
He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could she interrupted, “I just want to apologise in advance for this, but I can't do this date with you”, she grimaced at the guy’s confused expression, “In short my friend who I’m assuming you know: Tony Stark set me up on this date because he thinks I’m lying about having a boyfriend when I’m actually not lying because I said I have a partner and he took that as it being a boyfriend and that I’m also lying about it and now he set me up on this date. I am truly sorry for the confusion.”
The pause was pregnant as they both sat in silence. Him processing what she’d just blurted out and her waiting for his reaction.
“Why not just…tell him?”
“Me and my wife have a bet on how long it will take for all our friends to figure out we’re in a relationship and we’re really interested in how much this will escalate before they get it”, she grimaced slightly realising how odd it must sound, “Which did not end up well for you as I said I’m really sorry.”
His voice still sounded slightly befuddled as he spoke, “Yeah no problem I can't say I get it, but I’m not mad about it”, he paused for a second, “...so do we go now or?”
“You can if you want, but I am going to suggest ordering as much food as you want since Tony is paying for it and I would really like to get him back for lying about what I was here for.”
“Lying about what exactly?” He looked even more confused now.
“Oh shit I left out that part. Basically he said all of us were meeting up here to trick me into coming here, but I did actually know since my wife heard them and I really do not appreciate being tricked so please spend as much money here as your heart desires”, Natasha explained.
“Got it okay. Also I was supposed to tell him how it went after the date. What should I say?”
“Could you say something along the lines of she came here, explained she was tricked, and left?” Natasha pauses for a second before smirking slightly, “Also please tell him I said fuck him and that if he tries to pull this type of shit again I will not hesitate to put spiders in his suits.”
Natasha had accidentally found out about Tony’s crippling fear of spiders when she walked in on him standing on top of a table in his lab screaming about a tiny spider; even though it was a spider and could easily climb onto said table that he was standing on. And now that she knew about his secret fear she planned on fully exploiting it since it was hilarious and she herself wasn’t afraid of spiders in the slightest and found them very cute – a fact that Maria teased her about relentlessly since she was called the black widow.
He raised his eyebrows and nodded, “Well thank you for the…entertainment I guess?”
Natasha laughed and stood, “ Yeah and once again apologies for this mess, I am now going to go order take out on Tony.” She smiled at the man as she left to go do so.
She was quite relieved at how he took the whole thing and how cool he was about it. She was also relieved that she’d been able to finish this up so quickly because she was very excited at the prospect of going home to make out with her wife.
Notes:
Translations:
детка = babeThank you so much for reading! I also apologise for the crappy dialoge I really hate writing it. I did have a couple more lines for them both that I really couldnt bring myself to write rn, but I might add them later?
And I will see you in a couple weeks (see how I said will instead of hope im manifesting)
Schroedingers_What on Chapter 1 Wed 16 Apr 2025 03:38AM UTC
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