r/relationship_advice

by goldenprophet

Summary:

Remus and Sirius are friends. Close friends.

Remus goes on Reddit for advice.

Notes:

• For magicbeings.

For Prompt A7:
Based on this reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/utfygz/widower_falls_in_love_with_his_sons_friends_dad/?rdt=53015
Basically make this story wolfstar?? A friends to lovers finding out they’re into men together, only they’re like 45/50 years old, and not teenagers!

Disclaimers:
Reddit post & update were based on the originals.
Comments & replies on the first post were adapted from the comments on the original post.
Comments on the update post were taken directly from the original comments.
All Reddit usernames (but one) have no relation to real life people/users.

Chapter 1: April 8, 2025

1K

r/relationship_advice · Posted by u/lone_wolf 12 hours ago.

I think I (49M) am falling for my son's friends' dad, what do I do?

Relationships

I'm aware that sounds crazy.

My son (23M) has become good friends with twins (22F) since starting his Master's Degree and meeting one of them in class. Their father S (45M) and I got along well when we met by chance on campus - we're both single (he's divorced, I'm widowed) with some shared interests (music, films, books etc), and our kids have been encouraging us to spend more time together.

At first, we didn't do much besides the occasional texts and movie outings, but it has since evolved to home-cooked dinners and hours spent discussing everything and nothing. Recently, they almost feel like dates. The sense of companionship is slightly overwhelming - I've never felt anything like it except for with my late wife, and I never thought I could feel this way again.

He has a tendency to sit a little too close to me during our nights together, and I never move away (nor do I want to). I find myself looking at him a lot, and sometimes I catch him looking at me already. It has lead to some tense moments, but nothing (good or bad) has come out of them.

Back in my early Uni days I've had some experiences with men, but since meeting and marrying my wife I had never had those kind of thoughts again, and honestly I assumed it was just a phase. I know S goes on dates sometimes, but he's only ever mentioned women when we've broached the subject.

S is a relentless flirt, I've seen it every time we've been out together, but lately he's been acting the same with me and it leaves me flustered and stumbling over my words each time. I can't tell if it means something to him, or if it's just the way he is.

I would never normally come online to ask for advice, but I don't know what else to do. S makes me feel things I haven't felt in years, and some I've never felt before. I think about him constantly, we're always texting and we see one another multiple times a week.

I have never felt the urge to date again since losing my wife, but the more I think about it, the more the idea of dating him specifically appeals to me.

My son has noticed I talk about him more than I do about the rest of my friends, and has jokingly started calling him my boyfriend. It felt odd to hear, but in a good way, and only made me more sure of my growing feelings for him.

I feel lost and helpless.

What do I do?

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just-some-guy 8 hours ago

You may be bisexual. It's not always 50/50, you may be 99% attracted to women and 1% attracted to men. But no matter their gender, just communicate.

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lone_wolf OP 6 hours ago

After some Googling and a conversation with a friend (not S), I think the best terms for me are Demisexual and Pansexual.

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just-some-person 8 hours ago

It's not wrong you feel attracted to him, you have a close relationship and shared interests. If you don’t know already maybe probe if he is not homophobic, and if that goes well you can let him know you are questioning your sexuality. Then you gauge his reaction.

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lone_wolf OP 6 hours ago

Thank you, I will definitely tell him I am questioning my own sexuality to gauge his reaction, though I am certain he is not homophobic. All three of our children are queer in one way or another, and he has always been incredibly supportive of both his daughters and my son.

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just-someone 8 hours ago

I really hope you find love and happiness with whomever it’s to be.
Sometimes we just have to shoot our shot. Just make it really clear you don’t want to lose the friendship and you really value him and his feelings.
You both seem to have a genuine interest in hanging out together so what if you plan a trip to see a concert or something you can both plan together. See what his reaction is. Then maybe you can talk about things in a neutral space.
I hope this works for you and I hope there’s a update!

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lone_wolf OP 6 hours ago

A concert sounds like a wonderful idea, thank you for the suggestion. I hope I'm able to find love and happiness with him as well, we will have to see.

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just-some-girl 8 hours ago

I feel bad about all these troll comments so this is some honest advice. Disclaimer: I’m 16 and female but I swear we are the same person.
My advice to you: this does not seem like strictly platonic behaviour between two middle aged men. Teenage girls and middle aged men are a totally different ball game and let me tell you, if my dad acted like this with another man, I would absolutely know something was up between them. Tell him that you are questioning your sexuality and, if you are feeling brave, tell him how you feel about him. I think it’s going to be worth it in the end and I hope all goes well for you :)

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lone_wolf OP 6 hours ago

Thank you dear. All of the positive comments I've gotten have given me a lot of courage and I think I'm ready to have that conversation with him.

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