Chapter Text
Erinyes was still in shock.
She had stayed in the med bay overnight curled in the fetal position racked with sobs hearing for certain that Ashley was gone. Chakwas let her leave in the morning, concerned over her lack of sleep after becoming conscious
She had found herself in the Cargo Bay on the sparring mat waiting for Ashley to appear.
She glanced over to the weapons bench, expecting to see the black-haired marine working at it.
The realization hit her like Wrex hitting her in the gut.
She was gone
She would never see Ashley again
She felt her heart tighten as grief washed over her like an ice-cold blanket. It felt suffocating.
Her friend, someone who had thought of her as her sister, was gone and she would never see her again.
Strong arms wound themselves around her and she was engulfed in the woodsy, metallic scent of Garrus.
“Let’s go somewhere more private” he whispered in her ear. He had gone searching for her when he woke up alone
He noticed the Salarians in the Cargo Bay area, out of which Captain Kirrahe had been observing her since she exited the elevator, saying nothing and just watching.
He didn’t need the Captain to think anything more of the Vextra to keep her identity secret.
He was thankful that she had her software up, if she hadn’t the situation would be dire.
He couldn’t wait for the Salarians to leave when they reached the Citadel.
Her steps felt like lead, her mind blank as Garrus led her to her room.
He took off his armor and let it fall to the floor of her room and sat on her bed, the weight of the grief of losing one of their one own resting heavy on him. He couldn’t find it in him to care about the mess he was leaving in Erinyes’ barely lived in look of the room. Even in his own space he would never do this. It was seen as disrespectful to his people. Disrespecting his armor was the same as disrespecting the Hierarchy.
She continued standing in shock as tears silently flowed down her cheeks.
It felt like part of her should had been ripped out.
Garrus looked up after a while to see her beginning to go in shock
“Erinyes” he softly called to her. Her eyes met his. He gestured her to come towards him. She did. Her body felt so heavy and foreign to her. She collapsed in his arms.
“Our mission was a failure” she whimpered against him, not caring that his oily sweat was permeating her armor.
“It wasn’t, it was a success”
“Ash died. It was not a success”
“She died for us to succeed”
Erinyes sobbed. Garrus held her closer to his body. Her heartbeat flooding his ears and helping ground the grief he felt
“She didn’t deserve to die” her voice cracked
“No, she didn’t”
He released her hair from her tie and took his gloves off to stroke her hair. He gently applied pressure to her scalp with his blunt talons and heard her sigh from pleasure. Being very careful to avoid her injury. Chakwas would clip his fringe if he brought her back to the med bay for reopening her wounds.
“I miss her” she croaked. Both his hands massaged her scalp and he felt her heartrate slow as she calmed down.
“I do too” he whispered. “She was a great marine”
“She was my sister” Erinyes whispered before falling asleep in Garrus arms, exhaustion finally allowing her brain to stop tormenting itself.
She felt worse the next day.
Why was it ok for her to survive when Ashley hadn’t?
She thought of all her friends and how they could be used against her to hurt her.
She admonished herself for opening up as she had.
She had given herself weaknesses.
The Vextra would not hesitate to use that weakness to their advantage to put her under their heel again.
She curled up in a tight ball and cried.
She was an idiot for giving herself weaknesses to be exploited.
Garrus stirred when he heard her quiet sobs.
He opened his eyes and mentally sighed.
She was acting as if she had never lost anyone close to her before.
He paused.
She had to have… right?
This couldn’t be her first
He gently grabbed her at her ribcage and pulled her back towards him until her back was flush against his carapace and curled himself in a ball around her, following the curves of her body with his own.
“Talk to me, Love. What are you thinking?”
“I gave myself weaknesses” she croaked being unwillingly cryptic.
“What?” He asked confused. That was not something he expected to hear her say in this situation
“I willingly gave myself weaknesses. Why did I do that? I’m so stupid” she groaned as she admonished herself verbally as tears fell from her eyes. Grief washed over her and lapped at her relentlessly like ocean waves against the shore.
Garrus was confused by her words. Slowly he began to understand
“Having friends is not a weakness, Erinyes. It is a strength. They can help you when you are not strong enough. They can work with you, doing things you can’t. Doing this all alone would be suicide”
“But I wouldn’t feel like this” she whined.
Be pressed his carapace further into her back, wanting to get closer.
He wanted desperately to take these feeling away from her.
“Everyone dies” he remined her softly and calmly. “Some people die sooner than others” he whispered into her hair. A waft of her warm spicy scent went into his nose and he stifled the groan he wanted to utter from his lips.
“I know people die” she retorted harshly, her tears stalling “But why did it have to be her?” She asked.
“It is not our place to ask why the Spirits do the things they do. That’s what my mother would say.” His words drifted over her skin like soft rain
Her tears stopped, but she still felt horrible
“Is this the first time losing someone close to you?” He asked cautiously. He already knew the answer. Her actions were the proof he needed to come to that conclusion. Yet he still uttered the words
“Yes” she whispered. She sighed before turning towards him and wrapping her limbs around his, needing his comfort. He pulled her closer, his head resting on top of hers after giving her head a quick kiss. “Does it go away?” She asked weakly
“No” he answered honestly “It just gets easier.”
“How do you make it not hurt so much?” She asked as she gripped his cowl as if letting go meant she would fall into the abyss of the dark recesses of her mind.
“You honor their memory. Live in a way they would be proud of”
Live with no regrets
Erinyes pondered Ashley’s words as she took solace in the comfort Garrus provided.
The lesson she learned from Ashley’s untimely death was how quickly life could end. This mission was getting exceedingly more dangerous. If her life ended tomorrow would she regret anything?
She glanced up at Garrus.
Yes, she would.
She would regret not going further with Garrus.
The smell of Garrus’ and her sweat that had intermixed and dried on each other’s bodies began assaulting her nose as she moved.
She needed a shower
Live with no regrets
She moved to stand, Garrus letting her go reluctantly.
“I need a shower” she stated. Her nerves wrought from grief.
He let her go. She grabbed his hand
“Join me?”
He stared at her in shock, eyes wide, jaw slack, mandibles wide
He heard her correctly, right?
There was no way she said those words in that order.
“Garrus” she prodded “Do you want to?” She asked again, her confidence waning further
“I… did I hear you correctly?” He asked confused
“Yes. Do you want to join me in taking a shower?” She asked
He dumbly nodded and stood, allowing her to lead him to the bathroom locking the door when they were both in the same small shower room.
She felt increasingly nervous.
What was she doing?
This was reckless
Live with no regrets
She deactivated the band around her waist showing off her pajamas to Garrus for the first time. She moved her eyes to the ground. Her anxiety rising, not wanting to see his face and his reaction
What if he got aroused again?
In the shower? Where his clothes wouldn’t hide it?
She really had not thought this through.
Her breathing quickened
His eyes roamed the black silky mesh that made up the pajamas she wore. They fluttered in her movements as they hung off her and flattered the curves on her body.
He hadn’t realized he had stopped breathing.
He slowly extended his arm out to touch her bare skin with his ungloved hands. Whispering his touch on her body.
He watched her shiver by the action and he stepped closer to her and kissed her neck softly.
“You look beautiful” he whispered reverently against her skin. He slowly allowed his hands to skim across her bare waist, shivering at the naughty touch of doing so for his species, and then downwards to her hips. Her shorts were small, barely hiding her from him.
He felt her breathing quicken.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Love?” He asked, giving her a way out.
She took a shaky breath in. She had been greatly enjoying the touch of his hands on her bare skin.
“No” she answered shakily but honestly. “But I don’t want to regret anything” she added trying to have confidence in her words but was unsuccessful.
“We don’t have to. We have time”
“Do we though? This mission is getting more dangerous. Time is not guaranteed” she responded. She turned away from Garrus, grabbing the band on her wrist and after a breath to steel her nerves, deactivated it. Her clothes shimmered before fading off her body, revealing her naked form in front of Garrus.
His breathing hitched again.
He had not expected this and had to carefully control his breathing to refrain from getting aroused.
He removed his hands from her and stepped backwards to remove his own clothing. His undersuit stuck to his plates in some places from where Erinyes was pressed into his body the night before.
He let the undersuit fall and turned the water on, reaching past her to do so.
He wanted to make this as comfortable as possible for her. This was a huge step forward for her. If she felt comfortable not facing him in the shower then he would be content.
More than content really. He was thrilled.
“Do you want to face me as we shower?” He asked. She shook her head no, head still facing down. His fingers touched her ribcage gently and pulled her closer to the shower.
He wasn’t going to press his good fortune.
Deciding in that moment not to press his naked form against hers as much as he wanted to
The warm water flowed down on him but most of the water spray hit Erinyes. She gasped softly as the droplets of water came into contact with her skin. She sighed from the feeling of the water falling on her.
Her fright of how Garrus would respond was slowly fading.
Keska would have pressed his body against hers and pressed her painfully against the wall spread her legs forcefully and speared into her as she screamed in pain in this situation.
Garrus was barely touching her, giving her space to relax and seemed happy to enjoy the moment. He was near enough to where she could feel his residual heat but her left a wall of air to exist between their two bodies to make her more comfortable. She was incredibly thankful of his consideration.
“Can I wash you?” He asked softly
“Um” She answered as her anxiety rose.
“Please?” He pleaded, whispering the word. He needed to touch her, make sure he wasn’t hallucinating or dreaming. He watched her nod slowly and she leaned out of the shower to grab her shower supplies from her cubby in the bathroom that sunk into the wall. She averted her eyes when she reentered the shower. Garrus took the basket from her once she was back in the shower in front of him.
“Where is your brush?” He asked, searching in the basket for it
“My hairbrush is in there” she answered and she took the moment to drench her body under the spray of the water
“The brush to wash your body with?” He asked. She paused
“I use a sponge” she replied. “The green sponge in the basket. The jar with the red lid is soap. The jar with the yellow lid is for my hair” She explained.
He gathered the three items and leaned over her to put them on the shelf in front of her, putting the basket outside of the shower area. His breath spread over the skin on her neck and shoulder when he moved closer and made her shiver in anticipation. She took the sponge and let it collect some of the water in front of her and then poured a tiny bit of soap onto to before lifting it for Garrus to take. She still seemed apprehensive.
He took it gingerly from her and softly let the sponge dance against her skin on her shoulders and neck. She moved her hair to move on one side to give him better access.
He got a brief look at one of her breasts, the pale sage green color on the swell of her breast stopped with the smoky green areola and nipple, the portion of the swell of her breast away from her center gradually darkened into the smoky green color that wrapped around her sides and back. He wanted to touch them. To massage them. To lick them
But not now.
He let the sponge dance along her back, his fingers tracing scars that acted like graffiti on her skin. He lifted her arm out to the side and brought the sponge down her arms, in between her fingers before going back up to her armpit, before going down the waist to her hips. He knelt in front of her, staring at the globes of her ass next to her tail that was quivering in between her legs. He wanted to move her tail and stuff his face in between her legs so badly but tampered down his desire, letting the sponge grace her legs and pawed feet before heading back up. He heard her breathing hitch in her throat as he neared her core. Her tail quivered more. He averted directions and let the sponge rub against her firm ample ass before going to her other leg, skipping her tail over and back up her waist and to her other arm.
He handed her the sponge so she could wash the front of her body.
Her breathing was still fast but by the blush he felt on her face when he passed her the sponge he was pretty sure she was getting aroused.
“Can I wash your hair?” he asked. Needing another reason to touch her, to give her pleasure.
“Yes” she said less hesitant and held her hand out in front of her for him to place his hand in hers.
She poured a small amount of natural conditioner in his hand. The smell of warm spices filled the small room
“How do I do this?” He asked
“Rub it into my scalp and throughout my hair to clean it of dirt and sweat” she explained gently as she washed her upper body with the sponge
Doing as he as was told he rubbed the conditioner into his hands and began coating the locks with the conditioner. Erinyes tilted her head back to give him more access. Getting to her scalp he began massaging like he had the night before. Carefully avoiding her injury
“Oh” she responded, closing her eyes as she purred, washing herself momentarily forgotten. Garrus grinned. He knew she loved it when he massaged her scalp with his talons and played with her hair. Touching her hair was one of his favorite things too. It was so foreign to him and it felt like silky water between his fingers when wet. Coated with conditioner he watched as it foamed up slightly from his ministrations. Happy that her hair was fully coated and that she was more relaxed she took over and tied her hair up. bending down slightly to finish washing her lower extremities and the front of her body.
Garrus took the time to get his shower supplies from one of the small cubbies in the bathroom and began scrubbing the dried sweat quickly off his body while she washed herself.
“Can I wash you?” She asked timidly.
Garrus felt his heart leap into his throat.
This day was too good to be true.
“Of course,” he answered and put some of the scrub on the brush. He handed it to her and faced away from her.
Her breathing shallowed as she turned to face his bare body.
Her eyes scanned the sinewy muscles pulled tight under his hide of his arms. Protrusions, his plates, came out of his body leaving valleys in between to help with movement to keep his species agile. His carapace was a series of layered plates jutting out and came to a wide point that followed his spine.
Taking a deep breath, she took the brush
“How…?”
“Scrub the plates and the hide in-between until the paste turns into a foam” he explained gently. His body itched to turn around and be face to face. He kept his breathing even and waited. He pressed his hands against the wall to keep them still. To help keep himself in the moment and more importantly, to keep him grounded so he had the best chance possible to not get aroused.
She touched the bristles
“Won’t this harm you? The bristles are coarse” she asked
He chuckled “No, the plates have metal mixed within it, and my hide is thick” he said with a smile and his face, breathing hitched as he felt the brush on his back.
She scrubbed gently, not wishing to hurt him. He heard him hum as he enjoyed the feeling of the bristles on his body.
She did as she was told, scrubbing until the paste began to foam before going to the next area. She balanced herself with a hand on his back as she scrubbed with her other hand, not realizing her doing so caused him to intake air sharply. She marveled at the feel of his plates and his carapace against her fingertips and how they moved as he breathed against her bare hand.
Her initial fear was dissipating and giving way to awe at the man in front of her.
She continued downward before pausing at his ass. His hip spurs jutted out but his ass was well defined and pure muscle.
“You don’t have to go lower if you don’t want to” he said calmly.
“I… I want to return the favor… but I… I am not ready to see” she gulped nervously
“Sweetheart, you won’t. Turians have our reproductive parts inside of us until we are aroused. Is that not the same with Vextra?”
“No” she uttered in confusion. “So if I kneel in front of you to scrub your legs I won’t see your…”
“No, you will not” he confirmed softly
She took a breath to steady her rapid heart and knelt down to scrub his legs. She tried not to look but was curious if he was telling the truth. As she scrubbed his upper thighs she glanced in-between his legs and let out a sigh of relief. He heard her and smiled
Feeling more confident she continued scrubbing his legs, curiously studying his spur before standing and scrubbing his arms.
She handed him the brush
“Thank you, Kitten” he whispered in a husky voice.
It took everything in him to not come out of his seam of his groin plates with her so close to him, knowing she was as naked as he was.
Fighting back his arousal was difficult.
“You’re welcome” she responded quietly as she once again examined his body from behind.
“I need to turn around to wash the scrub off.” He explained “May I?” he asked and taking a shallow breath in she wanted to say no
Live with no regrets
“Yes” she managed out barely above a whisper. She watched his muscles tighten under his hide. He was not expecting that answer
Neither was she
Why did she say it?
She almost immediately regretted saying the simple word.
He turned slowly, she covered herself with her hands and looked down. He touched her chin so she would look at him. Slowly taking her hips at a distance they spun so his back was to the water. He kept his eyes on hers as he put more of the scrub on his brush and brushed his body. He was using all his self control to not let his eyes wander down her body like they wanted to.
She felt like she couldn’t get enough breath in her lungs. His gaze was intense and passionate.
This was the most intimate thing they had done and she wasn’t afraid anymore. At least not of this.
“When do you need to rinse your hair?” He asked as he tilted his head.
She had completely forgotten she needed to rinse out her hair. Her face grew teal at the realization that she wouldn’t be able to cover herself and rinse her hair of the conditioner.
She didn’t want to have to ask him to turn and stare at the wall while she did so
Her inner emotions showed on her face
“Can I help you rinse the stuff out of your hair?” He offered.
“Uh…” her voice sounded small. “How?” She asked
He stepped forward, closing the distance between the two of them, keeping his eyes on her face. Before taking her head in one of his hands and tilting it backwards.
“Like this” he answered before removing his hand and stepping back after showing her his idea rather than telling her. He brought his hand to the water behind him to rinse the conditioner from it.
“Ok” she breathed out. He grinned before turning quickly to rinse the scrub off of the front of his body and then moved in front of her and positioned her in front of the stream of water.
She took the clip out once he closed the distance between them and her locks tumbled behind her like water falling off a cliff.
She tilted her head back and Garrus tossed his brush in the sink as if it were the least important thing in the world because in that moment it was. He wanted to touch and caress her, and doing so in this vulnerable and intimate way was something she was affording him and he wanted to dive face first into it. He let his fingers and talons weave with themselves in her hair to massage her scalp again since she enjoyed it so much. He was determined to make this as pleasant of a situation so they could do it again in the future and have her be open to doing even more than she was affording him now.
She let out a small moan fall quietly from her lips from the pleasure and relaxation she received from the massage.
She closed her eyes and found her hands reaching up and helping him rinse her hair out.
Her nipples touched the coarseness of his carapace and caused her to gasp at how close Garrus had gotten to her body. He tensed briefly. Trying to keep his breathing steady and not focus on the action
His fingers teased themselves against the back of her hands before weaving themselves between her locks to continue their massage on her scalp
Garrus looked down snuck a peek of her perky breasts right as her ripples danced across his carapace again.
He sucked in a quiet breath to calm himself.
He couldn’t get aroused. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing and the feeling of her hands against his as he massaged her scalp.
Once she was sure her hair was thoroughly rinsed she rested her hands on his bare carapace and opened her eyes, to look down at it.
Water was collecting in his cowl she marveled over the magnificence of his anatomy that she could see and touch so close to him. Not daring to let her eyes and hands travel lower.
For some unknown reason she began to press her upper body up against him before his hands flew to her shoulder to stop her.
“I need you to stop” Garrus said breathily. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable” he explained his breathing coming in puffs near her ears. She blushed hard at the realization that he was getting aroused and trying not to.
She felt foolish.
This was a dangerous game she was playing
Complete torture to her boyfriend and dangerous for her in case she couldn’t take it.
Having a panic attack while they are both naked while he was aroused would be awful and would lead her to go in a downward spiral of triggers. While he would want to comfort her but couldn’t because he was naked, and aroused
She backed away quickly, hiding herself half-heartedly as she was lost in thought. He leaned past her to shut the water off and grabbed some towels.
He turned away for her privacy as he dried off.
She dried off and wrapped the towel around her to cover herself as Garrus turned towards her
She couldn’t take her eyes off him.
The carapace in his front gave way to plates as large as a book and becoming smaller at the abdomen layering on top of the others like abs on a human. His body spiked out at the hips and his legs had some plates on his outer thighs before they gave way to toned muscle under his thick hide. His shoulders had plates, but like his legs, phased out for the strong taut muscles under his hide on his arms. Water caught in his cowl flowed in front of his keel and streamed down his body.
She felt mesmerized by the way his body moved and looked while the water moved over his plates and in between them, so different than any other species body she had seen before. He dried off his body meticulously, taking his time to do his best to dry in between his plates.
She watched curiously as he applied a powder to help dry his body and realized it was part of his scent that she loved so much.
She grabbed her pajamas band and put it on. Unlike the other band this one attached to where her tech was directly to activate it.
Taking the towel, she twisted her hair into it and continued watching Garrus finish his routine
“I don’t think it’s fair you get to stare at me but I can’t stare at you” he teased her
“Would you like me to stop?” She asked meekly
“No, you may look if you want” he replied with a small smirk “I am a little curious what is going on in your mind though” he teased lightly
“Your anatomy is… I can’t think of the right word” She realized
“Frightening? Scary?” Garrus offered apprehensively, his tone wary of her answer
“No! More like…” she paused as she thought “Marvelous?”
Garrus stood stunned at her.
“Marvelous?” he repeated. She had stunned him many times today. He was not used to it. “Are you sure that is the word you are looking for?”
“…yes. Watching your body move with your plates and carapace is… fascinating” she replied
“Do I need to get you to Dr. Chakwas to check your head, something is obviously wrong?” He asked incredulously. She glared at him
“I am serious”
“You think I am marvelous and fascinating?” He goaded playfully. His ego rising
“I was talking about your body” she teased back “But you are pretty spectacular too” She finished quickly with a light push of his shoulder. He barked a laugh and grabbed a fresh set of civies from his cubby.
“Glad to hear.” He replied. His eyes roamed over her body “Why don’t you wear this to bed?”
“Humans think it’s sexy and that whole thought makes me uncomfortable” she admitted quietly
“It is, but it also looks much more comfortable to wear than your workout clothes to fall asleep in”
She shrugged
“I have fallen asleep in my heavy armor with no issue while sitting.” She said offhandedly.
He shook his head as he dressed.
She looked unimpressed
“Dressing looks like a pain in the ass”
“Yeah, well, not all of us are blessed enough to have bands to use.” He countered
“You mean cursed” she corrected teasingly
He shook his head, a smile gracing his features with a quiet chuckle, and handed her the other band.
“I am assuming based off of your prior comment that you don’t want the others to see you in your pajamas?” He reminded her gently as his eyes roamed her body before it was hidden, committing every crease and curve to memory. She shook her head no and took the band from him, grabbing his hand and kissing his cheekbone when she got closer to him. “Kitten, do you need to wash your clothes? Putting on dirty clothes makes no sense”
“It is complicated to explain, and I don’t know the technology behind it exactly, but the band holds the original copy. It resets back to the original when the band is deactivated”
“So your clothes are always clean? Lucky” Garrus grunted jealously. She laughed softly. The melodic sound making his heart soar at the sound. He loved that sound as much as the sounds of pleasure that tumbled past her lips.
“Thank you for making me feel comfortable doing this” her breath danced over the plates on his face and he grabbed her and pulled her closer against him. Happy he could do so again now that they were clothed.
“I would very much enjoy doing this again” he explained as he captured her lips and wrestled her tongue briefly with his.
“I think I’d like that too” her voice breathy after their tongue sparring. She managed to put the band on again as he playfully kept trying to find a way to kiss her while she playfully dodged the action. This paused in the hallway, but both Garrus and Erinyes’ grins were still plastered on their faces.
Entering her room she found herself tightly wrapped in Garrus’ arms before being spun quickly and his tongue in her mouth once more the second the door closed.
Hot passion ran through her as his hand tugged at the towel on her head to once more tangle itself within it. His other hand dragged itself down her spine until it hit mid back. Still making sure to avoid areas on her that she mentioned before.
“Take the band off” he ordered huskily in her ear. She involuntarily did a full body shiver before stepping away slightly to comply. Garrus hummed before tilting her head up, grabbing her band from her hand once she deactivated it, and tossed it unceremoniously over his shoulder. She made a displeased squeak as her eyes widened following the path the band took before her lips were colliding with Garrus’ and her mind melted in bliss, no longer caring that if she could not find that band she wouldn’t have access to her weapons or armor.
That would be a tomorrow problem. He pulled her towards the bed and collapsed upon it still in the throughs of passion, their legs entangling, hands roaming and being in the moment.
The only thought that briefly entered her mind that did not include her amazing passionate boyfriend was this:
Thank you, Ashley.