Chapter Text
[Part 1]
It is 9:32 on a Sunday night, and Haruka Sakura is trying to learn constellations. Most people wouldn't believe it, would laugh at the image. Sakura Haruka, split knuckles laid flat over a book about stars, barely lit by the moon.
Insanity.
Maybe that's the only reason he lets himself get away with it. Nobody needs to know these things. They are for him, alone.
It's not like this is the first time, but he hopes that this is the last. Because learning the constellations means sleepless nights, and if he's learning constellations he's thinking about stars. And when he thinks about stars all he can remember is his sister telling him, with these bright, wondered eyes that the light he sees from them is actually from decades, and lifetimes ago.
("What would happen if one just disapeared?")
Sakura is not smart, or poetic. He doesn't understand how a dead star can still shine, and he doesn't understand why it makes his chest hurt when he thinks about it. He's not made for beautiful things. They're too much for him, complex where he is simple and brave where he is scared. They fill him up to the shoulders and make him feel like they will drown him in their violence.
But now he's trying to connect the Orion's Belt to his body, he's trying to find the scorpion that killed him, painted next to him in a stupid display of irony.
When he can't find the rest of the soldier, he gives up. Sakura kinda hated that myth anyways.
Under Orion, as Sakura wraps his split hands in bandages, Nirei's knuckles crack open.
Nirei ducks. Suo's foot swings through the air above him but Nirei still flinches. The sharp sound of air being cut plants the seedling of a headache in the back of Nirei's skull. He shifts his weight, takes a half step with his leading foot, and then tucks his shoulder into his chest. In a clumsy movement, he rolls over his shoulder, putting space between the two of them.
His form is poor and he pays for it with the ache in his shoulder, but the feeling fades when Suo looks back over to him.
Suo is all sharp: He is the elegant curve of a boning knife and the rock in the river Nirei cut himself on in the summers of childhood. Suo is the river that almost killed him when he was young--reckless, sweeping him up in it's barreling arms to make him into something broken.
At least, that's what it feels like right now.
Suo has already caught his balance, hands still tucked neatly behind his back. His lips move but Nirei can't hear what he's saying over the crashing of his breath. He takes another half step back, knee buckling. Suo is slow to close the gap again, walking in what Nirei's learning is taunt, feet swinging in lazy arcs. Sharp. Elegant. Deadly.
The shadow of his fingers twitch over the dark green blades of grass. He shifts his weight. A punch?
Suo lunges again, closing the distance in a second. Nirei looks from his shoulder loosening out of it's tense hold. A palm strike? No! Suo's looking down at his ankle--
His feet are swept under him, body flipping in a heavy motion. His headache blooms in pain as the back of his head dents into the dirt. At least it's cool and soft, he thinks, as the moisture seeps into his hair. He closes his eyes against the harsh lamplight of the apartment porch.
Suo is quiet for a moment, whether gloating or resting he couldn't be sure. Nirei is greatful for every moment of silence. Cicadas judge him from their safe palace of wild grass.
"So. What mistake did you make?"
Nirei has to bite of the embarrassment from his voice as he speaks, "I fell for your bluff. Saw you..." He gasps, heart thudding, "Saw you move your hands. I thought you were going for a punch and then I hesitated."
Suo hums, "Ah, I see."
Nirei forces himself to sit up, squinting up at the boy silhouetted in the orange-white glow of Furin lighting. It gives him a halo effect, earring glittering. "What, Did I do something else wrong?"
"No, or well, yes. But I'm impressed you noticed that," Suo smiles and turns around to the stairs of the apartment complex, "Let's take a break."
"No, it's fine! I'm good! I--" He huffs, "I stood up too tall right? That's why you could sweep my feet out. Le- Let me try again."
Suo won't look at him, back turned, hands tucked neatly. His word is final. What, is Nirei a toddler?
Suo keeps walking until his toes meet the rotten wooden staircase. "Rest is just as important as training, although I do appreciate the spirit. You're making great progress."
He wants to laugh at that. Nirei is making progress the way a human does in comparison to a horse.
The bruise at Nirei's ankle throbs. His calf muscle spasms. Faintly, he thinks he can hear a high pitched ringing. "Okay," He says instead, standing to lead Suo back to his apartment. It's become a routine now and so he doesn't bother with asking Suo if he wants to come in, who now follows within two paces in Nirei's wake.
"Your water heater still broken?" He asks once his breath steadys.
"Yep," he grins. Between them, one of the wooden steps creak.
"You can shower here, I can lend you spare clothes again if you need," Nirei says knowing full well he saw an extra pair of clothes in his bag at lunch today.
"Ah, if you insist."
Two days ago, Suo had mentioned offhandedly about his water heater breaking. Although the subtle social nuance flew over Sakura's head, Nirei offered up his place if he needed anything. The past two days, Nirei found himself making tea for two while Suo used his shower. Funny part about that is he managed to make it seem like it was Nirei asking the favor of him.
If Nirei was different, or more accurately if this was anyone else besides Suo, it would probably irk him.
Suo delicately toes off his shoes at the door, attention being drawn to Chuck; Nirei's 120 pound Newfoundland dog, slobber down his chin and smelling faintly of corn.
"Hello, Mr.Chuck," he greets.
Nirei finds he doesn't mind the extra hour or so he's been spending with his friend. It's new and intimate, and he feels like a girl for thinking it, but he wouldn't mind if he stuck around more.
Nirei lets Suo shower first, taking the time to make some tea for his guest and heat up the leftovers his mom packed into the fridge. She made pho, which she's notoriously terrible at making, but at almost midnight his standards drop considerably.
Suo, a deceptively terrible house guest, takes twenty five minutes to shower and in that time Nirei manages to sink his mind into the depths of worry. It's just under 38 hours until Furin's turf war. 38 hours, and he's still struggling to keep his balance, forget landing a punch that will hit it's target. At least Suo taught him how to punch something properly. Last time he tried he almost broke his thumb.
Ah.
He wants to text Sakura. That, more than anything, makes him feel like a girl. But he can't help it. Sakura is strong and straightforward and honest. Although he appreciates Suo's presence, Sakura is just, well, Sakura.
"Do you not use conditioner?"
Nirei jolts. He could swear to god, Sou came out of nowhere. He sits down on the couch end opposite to Nirei, grey-blue towel draped over his head like a wig. His skin is flushed a violent red that makes Nirei concerned he's boiling himself alive in the shower.
"No, You do?"
He rubs his hair dry with the towel, stray waterdroplets rolling down his shoulder and under his t-shirt collar. "Yeah, otherwise it gets tangly."
Nirei hums, checks his notification-less screen, and admonishes himself for the weird feeling that hits him because of it. He's being stupid. He abandons it to the coffee table. "I'm gonna shower, feel free to anything in the fridge."
The last two nights, Suo had disappeared by the time Nirei was done with his shower, but tonight he's apparently in a social mood. When Nirei walks out, he's sitting with a teacup perched in his palm. He's poking through Nirei's schoolbag, and oh shit.
"Suo-san! Don't look through that!"
He doesn't even have the modesty to look ashamed at being caught snooping, instead tossing the notebook he's snagged back into his bag. "Apologies, I couldn't help but be curous how to managed to memorize every student's name at school. For your information I don't have a coin purse."
Nirei blushes, digging into the bag and recovering the book. Suo has that carbon copy half-smile he always does, but there's a cheek there too. He's such an ass. "Liar, I saw you had one at the bakery on like, the second week of school."
"You must be remembering wrong."
"I'm not."
Suo shrugs with the confidence of a man assured he's right. Nirei lets the topic drop, moving back over to sit and let his legs rest. Admittedly, it's a bit awkward. He hasn't had people over this late since he was in elementry, when sleepovers were still a thing he did.
Well, at least to Nirei. Suo doesn't look the least bit awkward, comfortably nursing a tea cup in his hands. He seems too poised at all times. When Nirei is honest with himself, especially lately, he can admit he's jealous. Who wouldn't be? He has the skill, he has the confidence. For a while, he thought he was rich or something, but no. He was frugal and careful with his money.
The questions bubble up under his tongue, but that feels too personal. He's hard to read, even harder to tell if you've accidentally offended him. Best to be careful.
He places his cup down with a soft tink. "You're doing very well, It's not often I see someone improve this fast."
"Thank you," he says, though he doesn't really feel it. "It's all thanks to you, you're a really great teacher. Which, do you have experience teaching? You're weirdly good at it, not that it's weird for you to be good at something! The opposite, really. Just, you're going really far just for me."
"I just enjoy it is all, but no I haven't had a student before."
Nirei is surprised by his own laugh, "A student? Should I start calling you 'Master'?"
"If you want to," He says, again, with absolutely no shame, "I am teaching you after all. But not around Sakura," He puts his fingers to his lips, "It's a secret."
Nirei nods. He is excited about that. Embarassingly enough, he's been daydreaming about showing off his skills to Sakura. Usually it involved flashy moves and saving him from certain doom in a dramatic display, but nobody needs to know that. Some things are better kept to yourself, after all. On the table, a phone buzzes in a low sound. Nirei checks his. It must've been Suo's phone. He doesn't move to check it--right. He doesn't go on his phone around company. He doesn't even seem to register his phone buzzed.
"Hey, you can go on your phone around me ya'know. It doesn't bother me."
He shrugs, "It's probably not anything important," he pauses. He looks more thoughtful than usual, eyes lingering on Nirei and his phone screen where it's open to his texts with Sakura. "May I ask you an invasive question?"
How rare. "Of course, we're friends."
His eyes dig into Nirei's like bullets. "Do you like Sakura?"
"Oh, well yeah of course I do--"
Suo huffs a laugh, "Not like that. Do you have feelings for him?"
The silence after he speaks is frigid, sending a coil of tension through his back. He can hear his throat click as he swallows around the lie in his throat. No. Why would he say that? Why would he have feelings for Sakura? Then, quieter, he thinks, is it that obvious? To anyone else, he'd lie, but Suo is only asking because he already knows the answer. Nirei forces out a laugh, if anything then to be an excuse to break the suppressive weight of Suo's eye contact.
"Is it really that obvious?" He mumbles, face starting to burn with the admission.
"Not really. I just happened to notice a few things, don't worry, he doesn't know."
His heart thumps painfully, "Why do you ask, Has he mentioned something?" The 'someone else' is implied.
The steam of Suo's tea has slowed to a slow, constant billowing, moving lazily up and brushing past his face as he takes another sip. It's a new one Nirei got at Suo's recommendation and since has become his favorite flavor. The earthy rooibose smell is the only thing acting to calm his nerves as the silence drags on. Is he doing this on purpose? Finally, he puts down the cup again, steam swirling delicately. "No I haven't. If I even tried to bring something like that up I'm afraid his face might boil from how red his face gets. Though yours is close behind."
Nirei's face does burn. That does not help it at all. He burrows his cheeks in his palm, practically winded by the force of humiliation hitting him. "So uhm, what gave it away?"
"It's just, every time you open your phone it's open to your texts with Sakura," Nirei wilts. "And when we go to the store you always almost buy him something but then put it back last minute. And--"
"I guess it was pretty obvious, huh."
"Well I mean, not necessarily."
Nirei, sometimes, can easily understand why Suo gets on Sakura's nerves. But still, he knows he's not just doing it because he feels like it, there's a point to this. He migrates his palm from his face to his neck where the blush seems to be travelling. How embarassing. He's getting way to flustered over someone he basically has some little-kid crush on. "It's not like a big deal. It's not even like an actual crush I just respect him! I don't-- I'm not usually like this."
"Into guys?"
Would it kill him to be a little less blunt sometimes? His headache creeps forward to the front of his brain with a sharp feeling. "Yeah, that."
"Sometimes you just meet people like that," Suo draws his ankle over his knee, the image of unsurprised. Well it's not like he expected Suo to react poorly, knowing he had no problem with Tsubakino.
"Like what?"
"People you can't help but fall for."
Nirei think's its weird, how he says that, but in all honesty he doesn't have the courage to pry. "I guess... but why do you ask?"
The smoke from Suo's cup has stopped, sitting between them barely touched. He chugs it down in the next sip and stands, "Do you not talk about your crushes with friends?"
This feels different, somehow, but he can't say that, so he just nods and stands with him. "Fair enough."
"Thank you for the tea and letting me borrow your shower, my water never gets that warm."
"Of course, I'll walk you out."
Suo gives a goodbye pat to Chuck accompanied by a kiss on the forehead, only to let out a heavy sneeze. After noticing his eyes have gone a bit stuffy he makes a mental note that Suo might be allergic to animals and waves him goodbye.
"Hey, uhm, you won't tell him right?"
Suo's face is again cut by the harsh lights of his apartment doors. His smile looks a little sharp as he brings his pointer finger to his lips, and Nirei's starting to grow accustomed to that, he thinks. "It'll be our little secret."
It leaves Nirei concerned, even if he knows Suo is being completely honest. Not two minutes later, as he drags into bed, his phone buzzes.
[>hey do u remember that tape you were talking about the other day for like sore knees could i borrow some? (12:03)]
[KT tape? Of course! I'll bring some tomorrow. With that you'll be unstoppable! >:D (12:04)<]
It's the same boy tonight, the third time in a row now. He's late but this is the only deviation in his pattern, moving with a purpose few people practiced in gas stations. He grabs his unsweetened green tea from the back of the store and then a yogurt cup. He then lingers for two minutes in front of the aisle compiling of trinkets and gadgets, flirting with items there before abandoning them entirely. The clerk likes watching him, something needed as a third shift worker. He is perfectly polite and doesn't look quite like he belongs in a gas station, and she likes to romanticise what he's doing out so late at night.
He approaches the counter, giving a sweet smile.
"Hello again," she is practiced now as she takes the cold aluminum from the boy. The beep of the item interrupts his "hello" in response.
"Finally buying it today, I see? And I was planning on asking for your number too."
"Excuse me?"
She blushes, looking at the new addition today. It's a small Sakura flower charm. "That charm, is it not for a girl?"
His expression is subtle as his eyebrows raise, lips quirk, "For my little sister. She's so spoiled."
"I see."
She scans it, packing it gently into a plastic bag. "Does that mean your number is free for the asking?"
He takes the bag from her with a polite nod and whispered thanks, "I'm flattered! I'm very sorry, it belongs to somebody else."
"Ah, well, she's a lucky girl."
He's already turning away, and the cashier can't help but feel like a bug smashing into a windshield. His smile cuts at her.
"You're too kind. Have a good night."
"You too."
She only realizes once he's left her sight that he'd somehow, accidentally left the pin on the checkout counter. She debates chasing after him, but well, that's not really her job if he forgets something. At the end of her shift, when the boy has yet to return for his prize, she goes home with a pocket slightly heavier that usual.