The Mess We're In

by Geo_rosey

Summary:

James Madison has made it to the federal Senate after the Capitol Bombing. Not only does this mean having a more significant role in politics, but... It also means that he lives very close to Thomas Jefferson. Their relationship isn't platonic, and James is very aware of that. But Thomas won't acknowledge it. After all, they're both major Republican Congresspeople. Thomas is probably going to be the Republican candidate in 2024.
So what kind of relationship can they even have?
--
A JeffMads oneshot that lines up with chapters 34 & 35 of The World Turned Upside Down

Notes:

SURPRISE!! I've been thinking about making this since I wrote those chapters and I finished writing it just in time :D This can be read before or after reading chapters 34 & 35, it doesn't matter too much :)
I've also never written JeffMads and only read it once or twice so I hope I did them justice <3

He knows that Thomas would kill him for it, but James thinks that his friend is very similar to President Hamilton. Watching him now, in the low light of the lamp, the view of the DC night overlooking them from the large window… His eyes have deep bags, his hair is a mess, and he’s snoring softly. The covers are all tangled in his legs and his arms stretch to both sides of the bed, one of them laying over James’ lap. 

James has never seen the President sleep, of course, but if he did, he imagines that it would look pretty similar to this unorganized mess. 

And during the daytime, though he would never admit it, the similarities only grow. The bold passion, the inability to shut up, the insane amount of writing that they manage to squeeze into their busy schedules… They’re practically one and the same, save for their political affiliations. 

And, well, being in his position, James doesn’t really like to judge people on those. 

He had worried, selfishly, when he had been nominated for senate, that things would change between the two of them. Being State Senate minority leader, James had lived in Richmond, about two hours out of DC. It wasn’t too long of a drive, but they were both busy men, and so they hadn’t found time to meet up much. 

Plus, what would have been their excuse? Friendly work colleagues and fellow party members don’t have personal meetings every week. And so James had usually stuck to the regular visits he made to DC for work, and every time, they made sure to spend some time together. To the outside world, it just looked like two Republicans who had an amicable relationship. 

And then the Capitol was blown up. 

When James saw the report, he broke down. It was the most humiliating thing he’d ever done in his entire life, and he is absolutely never going to tell a soul about it. He had seen the news, known that Thomas was dead, and crumpled. Bawled his eyes out like a fucking girl. His throat closed up. He wasn’t able to properly breathe again until he found out that Thomas hadn’t been there. He’d been chosen to sit out, in case of something like this, so that the party would still have a representative in DC. 

To Thomas, it was a friendship. James resents the word. He may be pathetic, he may have been too scared to go against his family’s wishes for him to become a conservative politician, but at least he isn’t in denial. No, he knows exactly what’s going on here. And it definitely isn’t friendship. Friends don’t end up curled around one another, half naked, in bed together. But Thomas either doesn’t understand that, or simply refuses to acknowledge it. He’ll talk with James about how glad he is that they’re such great friends, take him home and kiss him and fuck him and wake up in his arms, and then get up and make coffee as if nothing was wrong. And then, he’ll put on another one of his pink suits and go out into Congress to take his own rights away. 

But it’s not like they’re ever going to get further than this strange little dance, where they say one thing and do another. Even if James sometimes finds his mind wandering to what could be, to the life they could live, waking up every day, leaving through the front door instead of the back, leading in Congress as a way to make actual change instead of fighting culture wars, he knows that it’s just a fever dream. It’ll never happen. They’re Republican Congressmen. Two of the most influential Republican Congressmen, now. Maybe there could have been a chance, before the bombing. But Thomas is now the only member of Congress left from the old cohort, meaning he’s practically the most experienced member of the government. James was the frontrunner to be the next Virginian Republican Senate candidate already, and his friendship with Thomas is pretty well known.

They have the entire . country’s eyes on them. 

So James will take what he can get. And he has a lot, he supposes, for his situation. He’s currently sitting in Thomas’s bed, the clock reading 2:34 AM, his clothes discarded on the floor. Thomas’ snores grow louder, indicating that he’s falling into deeper sleep. James knows this, because he knows the reason behind his every move. He’s spent enough sleepless nights watching the soft features of his friend’s face and dreaming about a better life. Maybe, if Thomas had been born somewhere different, things wouldn’t be like this. Maybe, if James hadn’t been such a coward, things wouldn’t be like this. 

Tentatively, stupidly, James reaches out and softly places his hand on Thomas’ head, patting his hair. He loves the feel of it. Usually he only gets to touch it in desperate grasps when they’re falling into each other, but in the dim lighting, the silence of the night, it’s almost tender. James has to pull back and look away at how much it makes his heart hurt. What are they even doing here? Thomas clearly feels something, or this wouldn’t have been going on for so long. But to him it’s most likely just a quick fuck, a way to get off. 

Not that he’s had any other partners since this started happening. 

Thomas stirs, rolling over onto his back. “Jemmy?” he murmurs in a sleep-laced voice. “Was’ up?”

“Nothing, Thomas. Go back to sleep.”

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Thomas squints up at him. “Why is the light still on?”

“Sorry,” James mutters. “I’ll turn it off.” He reaches down the side of the bed and flicks the switch. “Goodnight,” he says. 

“Mmmm, night,” Thomas murmurs, and he must still be mostly asleep because when James lays down properly again, he grabs onto him and lays his head on his chest.

James doesn’t say a thing, just listens to Thomas’ breathing as he falls back asleep. He doesn’t even try to go to sleep. He knows it’s futile. Instead, he looks back out the window. Thomas never closes the curtains in here, and James isn’t really sure why. He supposes he must just really like the view, and well, he can’t blame him. It’s beautiful. The city looks almost magical at night, lit up by streetlights and cars and the occasional light from an apartment or office building. James looks out the window as he thinks over what’s going to happen tomorrow. 

He’s going to call the President, if he doesn’t call him first. As much as it may break his facade a little, as much as it’s terrifying, he knows that he’s going to have to vote for the bill. He wishes that his first vote as a federal senator wasn’t so personal, but unfortunately Henry Laurens has ruined that. James is half certain that the move was only to piss off his son, who works for the President. It’s petty and unprofessional and James hates the man. 

He hopes, however futile it may be, that the bombing will be an opportunity for them to change the party. A reset. That way they can, as a party, stop focusing on discrimination against minorities and actually start focusing on more important things like the economy. 

Which is a stupid line of thought, he reminds himself, because Republican policies about the economy are just discrimination against minorities in a ‘cutting waste’-shaped trench coat. But at least it could help him pretend that he isn’t actively committing political self-harm because of his family’s pressure.

Whatever. However he justified it in his head, the conclusion is the same: that he has to vote for the bill. And he will. Even if it gets him flack from the party. Even if his father reprimands him. Because James has to stop being a fucking coward if he doesn't want to dig himself any further into this hole. 

The next morning, (or the same morning, depending on how you look at it) goes as routine. James, who inevitably did fall asleep sometime around four in the morning, wakes up to an empty bed. When he runs his hand along the abandoned side of the bed, it’s still warm. The clock reads 7:15, and he can hear the sound of the coffee machine running in the kitchen. He pulls himself out of bed and grabs his clothes off the floor and heads into the closet. There’s only one rack in the massive walk-in closet that isn’t filled with extravagant colorful clothing. It’s where James keeps a few extra suits, so that he isn’t caught wearing the same one multiple days in a row, like the President’s Chief of Staff seems to love doing. 

He folds his suit from the previous day and places it down on a stool. He’ll have to get it dry-cleaned, but that’s a job for another day. The tie he picks out is baby pink, because despite everything, he’s just a lovesick goddamn fool and pink happens to remind him of Thomas. It’s not a wonder why, standing in the man’s closet. 

Hah. Closet. 

Not funny.

He dresses quickly and heads to the kitchen, where Thomas is already dressed, today in a matching ensemble in a bold maroon colour, printed with roses that are slightly lighter, barely noticeable in the shadows. Some people probably think that the man’s fashion choices are a bit too much, and, well, a lot of the time James can probably agree. But he likes this one. He forces himself not to think about how well it falls around Thomas’ frame. He forces himself not to think about last night. 

“Mornin’” Thomas calls, his Southern accent more obvious in the early morning. He silently slides a mug of coffee across the bench in offering as he checks something on his phone. 

James grabs the cup and takes a sip, not saying anything, because that’s how they work. Thomas talks. He listens.

 

They leave the apartment separately; Thomas first, as always, then James, about half an hour later, in his car with tinted windows. They can’t be caught. It’s simply not a possibility that they can afford to entertain, and so they don’t. James heads for the office, and tries his hardest to force all thoughts of Thomas’ face and body and home to the side.

The day is mostly mundane. He has to sort out some paperwork for the vote tomorrow, has a quick conversation with Senator Varghese, the new President Pro-Tempore of the senate, and then set up an interview for later today so that he can announce his support for the bill. He’s just finishing that up when he gets a call from the President. 

He takes a deep breath before picking up the phone. President Hamilton is no different to him, an unprepared, unelected representative thrust into their role in an emergency. There’s no reason to be worried.

“Mr President, this is James Madison.”

“Good morning, Senator,” he hears, and while he would obviously never say this to his face, he thinks the man sounds exhausted. James can’t blame him, he supposes. “I was hoping to have a chat with you about the bill currently going through the Senate. The equality act.”

“Ah, yes, I suspected that was what you were calling for. Why don’t you tell me, then Mr President, why I should vote for your bill?” He’s already made up his mind, of course, but he’s interested to see what the man has to say about it. It’ll be a good test of his convincing abilities. 

There’s a short pause. “Well, Senator, as I’m sure you know, queer Americans still face a lot of discrimination in their daily lives. Whether you agree with their lifestyle choices or not, they are still regular people, trying to live their lives, and they don’t deserve to be treated differently for that. This act is poorly worded, yes, but I am sure that if we make it to the House we can work to improve it there.”

James considers this. Hamilton’s little speech has only confirmed what he was thinking last night: that he is just like Thomas. His explanation was concise but convincing, and he can see why people considered him such a good Treasury Secretary, even if Adams did fire him. “For the record, I agree with you, Mr Hamilton,” James says. “But your claim that you will be able to improve the bill if it makes it to the House is completely unfounded. Are you forgetting that the House is also a Republican majority? Without a big ally there it is unlikely that it will ever pass. It didn’t the first time. And we both know that Henry Laurens didn’t introduce this bill because he actually thought it had a chance.”

“Mr Madison, if you agree with me, surely you would be willing to talk with the members of your party in the House–”

“Which is exactly what I was going to suggest, Mr President. I will talk to Jefferson, see if I can get him to endorse the bill and promise to help it pass if it reaches the house.”

“Are you serious?”

James has to hold in a little chuckle. The President almost sounds like a little kid finding out they’re going to Disneyland. The stress of this bill must be immense on the White House. If it didn’t feel so personal, James would admit that it was a genius move on Henry Laurens’ part. 

“I am. You can count on my vote.”

“Thank you.” The line is silent for a moment. “May I ask, though… why?”

James isn’t sure what to say to that. He can’t say the real reason. From an outside perspective, his voting for this bill will look strange. So what is his excuse? “You’re… You’re not the only person that cares about this kind of thing, Mr President.”

When he hangs up, he worries for a moment how the man will interpret his words. He’d very much just implied that he cares about queer rights. And, well, he does, but that’s not something that you ever hear a Republican admit. He sighs. Well, there’s no chance the President will ever assume what’s actually happening. 

Thomas is due to meet him in about an hour so that he can attempt to convince him to support the bill, and he’s very aware of how difficult that’s going to be. You’d think it wouldn’t be. You’d think that Thomas, given the fact that he spends every second night in bed with James now, would be all for it. But He’s so far into his sinkhole of denial that it’ll probably be about as easy as trying to convince Henry Laurens himself.

He sits, not really able to focus on the documents he’s studying, for the next hour. But Thomas doesn’t arrive. Soon, it’s been an hour and a half. He sighs, sitting up and heading for the lobby to see maybe if he’s gotten lost or something. Surely not, the Dirksen building isn’t too complicated, but he’s going to run late to that interview if he doesn’t see him soon. 

He runs into Thomas in the hallway.

“Oh, Senator Madison, I was just heading down to your office.” 

Senator Madison. Not James, like this morning, not Jemmy, like last night. 

“You’re a bit late, I was just looking for you, Mr Speaker,” James replies dryly. 

“Well, what is it you wanted to see me about?”

“I just got off the phone with the President.”

Thomas raises his eyebrows. “Hamilton? Why on earth?”

“He asked me to vote for his bill,” James explains, giving a wary look down the hallway, where senator Varghese is walking with some young woman. When she’s turned the corner, he says, “I’m going to vote in favor of it.” 

Thomas scoffs, dropping his jaw. "Are you serious? I thought you were smart, Senator. You know that voting for this bill will hurt your reputation.”

James takes a deep breath. The next words out of his mouth are irreversible. “And do you think it should?” he asks. “Is that the kind of party that you want to be a part of?”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

Idiot. Acting as if they were doing nothing out of the ordinary twelve hours ago.  “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Thomas. If we’re going to be able to be honest members of the republican party, we can’t stand for stupid culture war shit.”

“James–”

“You know it will affect you too.”  There it is. The first time either of them have acknowledged it. ‘It’ being the fact that straight men typically don’t have sex with their politician friends. 

“It’ll affect my reputation, yeah–”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” He glares daggers at Thomas, trying his best to get his point across with looks alone, because god knows he can’t say it out loud. Not here.

Thomas’ face slips for a moment. His usually cocky expression that he wears during official business slips, and for a moment James sees just how terrified he is. He can’t blame him. James is scared too. Scared of what this all means. But at least he’s acknowledged to himself that what he feels for the other man isn’t friendly. It looks like this is the first time Thomas is having to do that. All James wants is to wrap him in his arms and kiss him and tell him that it’s going to be okay. 

Maybe in another lifetime. 

Thomas swallows. “Fine. I’ll support it.”

——

Thomas has survived a lot. Climbing the political ladder, even with the support of his father’s money, is a hard fucking job. It’s terrifying, at times. People throw insults at you and shout at you in the streets and you can’t even ignore them because it’s their opinions that could land you without a job. 

And yet, he’s never felt more scared than he did just an hour ago, when he stood on live TV and announced his support for the Equality act. 

He had been livid when James brought it up. They're not supposed to acknowledge it. Not yet. And especially not for the reason of politics. 

Thomas Jefferson isn't gay . He isn't in love with James Madison, and he isn't in denial. 

He's supposed to be perfect. Speaker of the House. The final federal Republican left after the Capitol blew up. He's frontrunner to be the Republican candidate in the 2024 election. He can't be. He can't be wrong. He's going to be president. 

And yet, when James had said it, he knew that he was right. Because despite the fact that he's definitely not gay, he still feels a bit sick thinking about openly opposing the bill. It's just because he wants to be more universally appealing, is what he tells himself.

He knows it's a lie.

Because if he didn't have the reason, the stupid reason that's hidden far in the depths of his mind, he never would have endorsed it. It'll make the reliable Republican voters, the far-right Southerners, dislike him. On top of that, it'll make Henry Laurens hate him.

Aside from himself, Laurens is probably the most powerful Republican in DC. Getting on his good side is essential for Thomas. He'd make a good VP pick. And he had plenty of friends in the new Congress. 

When asked, he says that he supports the act because it's such a small part of the population, that it makes the US seem more welcoming on the international stage. He says that he cares more about the country's best interests than infighting. 

But it's all a lie.

It's all lies.

But hey, that's just his life. A meticulously constructed building of lies. The only truth in there is James. 

And he can't even tell him the truth.

Notes:

Thanks for reading!!! I hope y'all liked it :)

I hope it was obvious but I wanted to parallel Jefferson with Hamilton and Madison with Laurens, they're almost alternate versions of them (Jefferson is Hamilton born into a rich, conservative area; Madison is John if he didn't stand up to his father)

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of The World Turned Upside Down (modern politics au)