Fate, Hate, Soulmate

by TheologyDiscography

Summary:

The Winter Soldier is completely, absolutely, totally happy and in love with his soulmate.

Too bad Bucky Barnes can't remember that.

Chapter 1

"Come on, Winter, baby we gotta go!" He looked up at the voice of his handler, almost dropping his burden into the soft muck at the edge of the river. Rumlow looked back, almost frantic in a way that he'd never seen before.

"Is that Rogers? Okay, we'll get him clear too, just come on!" Rumlow dropped to grab one of the unconscious man's arms, dragging it over his shoulders to carry him more easily than the dragging grip he'd had. He took the other arm and mirrored his handler. This was almost as fast as moving unburdened.

"Good thinking. Nobody's gonna want to get between Cap and medical. They'll have to let us through." That wasn't why he'd saved the blond, but he had no reason to argue with the assessment.

They left Rogers sitting against the wall in the ambulance bay of the closest hospital. It was almost inaccessible by car, but they'd been able to walk up easily enough. Someone would find him soon. Get him medical treatment. He'd be okay.

"Our objective, sir?"

"As far away as we can get, baby. Things are about to get too hot to handle around here."

"Argentina base?" Rumlow nodded decisively.

"That'll do for now." Rumlow stopped to grab both of his shoulders. "Things are gonna change, baby. Nobody's gonna hurt you again. I can make that happen now."

--------------------

The Argentina base was tiny. Little more than a resupply depot with facilities to host a couple dozen men at most. It rarely had even that many. That was why Rumlow liked it. It hadn't been designed to hold the Winter Soldier. There weren't any reinforced cells or restraints. It had never held a chair.

It was the safest they had ever been together.

There were five guards, two techs, and one clerk in attendance when they arrived. All of them were visibly relieved to have a ranking officer take command of the base after the mayhem that had followed the Insight disaster. Rumlow was pleased to take over the commanding officer's quarters, keeping Winter at his side.

"Commander?" Winter asked softly as Brock sank wearily into the chair behind the desk of the CO's private office after he'd dismissed his new underlings.

"Just tired, baby. Come here." Winter straddled over the Commander's legs, letting his handler pull him in close. Rumlow pressed his face into Winter's neck and collarbone, just breathing for long moments that said more about his state of exhaustion than words could have.

"Think you should be in bed," he dared to suggest. Rumlow had never gotten upset with him for voicing an opinion in private.

"There a reason you're trying to get me in bed?" Rumlow asked without moving, amusement in his voice. Winter pulled back until he could meet the other man's eyes.

"I want to fuck," he said plainly with a little smirk. Rumlow groaned, eyes darkening with desire.

"Lead the way, baby," he agreed. He hung back for a moment just watching his Soldier move as he headed towards the interior door to the private apartment for the base commander. God, his soulmate was so fucking sexy. Now that they'd finally gotten free from Hydra, everything was going to be perfect.

"Coming, Commander?" Winter threw over his shoulder, and Brock loved when Winter had been away from the chair long enough to get sassy like that.

"Not yet, but I was hoping you'd help me out with that." Rumlow quickly stepped forward to slide his hands over Winter's waist, moving in for a kiss.

"Mm, what were you thinking?" Winter questioned between kisses.

"Me? This was your idea."

"What would you say if I wanted you on your knees?" Brock gave a surprised laugh.

"That we better make sure to lock the door."

"What?"

"Baby, I don't know anything you could ask for that I would say no. But I don't need the underlings seeing us having sex. They might lose respect for both of us, and we need them right now."

"Both of us? They just need to respect you."

"No. You're gonna be my second in command. No more of this 'just a weapon' bullshit. You've always been better than that."

"What if I don't want to fight anymore?" Winter asked quietly, turning his face away. Brock cupped his cheek and guided his face back up to meet his eyes.

"Then you don't. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to, baby."'

"And if I wanted to hunt them down?"

"Then we go after them. We'll just have to be careful."

"So that the men won't revolt?" Brock sighed.

"You said Cap seemed to recognize you. If that's true, if you are who he thinks you are, he's never gonna stop looking for you."

"What if I want to see if he's right?" Winter asked softly after a long pause. Brick's arms tightened around him involuntarily.

"You could, but I can't go with you. I'm sure Cap hates me now that he knows. But he would keep you safe. If anything ever- if I'm gone you should go to him." Winter just nodded, lost in thought.

Brock sighed softly as he pulled away, quietly mourning his chances of getting off as he moved to get ready for bed. Winter locked up like that sometimes when he was thinking, and it was no use trying to distract him. He resigned himself to settling for a hot shower in lieu of hot sex to relax before bed, and was just pulling on a soft pair of pajama pants when mismatched hands slid around his waist.

"So this is where you disappeared to."

"You were lost in your head again, baby," Brock replied affectionately, leaning back into the embrace and covering Winter's hands with his own.

"Does that mean you lost interest in my dick?" Winter teased.

"'Course not, baby. Just tired. Thought I'd catch some zees while you were catching up."

"How 'bout you catch this dick instead?"

"Don't think I'm up for anything particularly noteworthy tonight," Brock warned as he turned in Winter's embrace to slide his hands down the back of Winter's pants to grab his ass. Winter rolled his hips in response, grinding against him.

"That's fine. Just want you."

"You're just a randy bitch," Brock laughed back. "Don't act like you wouldn't have jacked off if I'd been asleep already."

"It's better with you." Winter's hands slid down Brock's back, pushing the pajama pants down in front of them.  Brock couldn't argue with that. The soulbond between them made even simple things like handjobs the best sex he'd ever had.

"Hey." He tilted Winter's head up to look at him. "You know why, right?"

"Because I love you," he responded with a brilliant smile. Brock couldn't resist smiling back.

"And I love you, baby. But that's not all of it." Brock leaned in to press their foreheads together, just savoring the closeness. "We're soulmates, baby."

"Soulmates?" Winter asked wonderingly.

"Yeah. I've been hiding it all this time so they couldn't use it against us. But we're free now. And you deserve to know why you feel so safe with me." Winter reached out to grab Brock's dick through his pants.

"Why I feel so horny around you." Brock laughed at the irreverent comment.

"That too, baby." He dug his fingers harder into Winter's ass, drawing a startled moan from him. "You gonna undress for me?" Brock pulled away to sit on the edge of the bed, shedding his pajama pants as he moved.

"What would you do if I said no?"

"Go to sleep."

"You would go to sleep with all this on offer?" Winter asked in a mock offended tone as he pulled his shirt over his head. Brock didn't know when he'd stripped to his underlayer, but it was certainly easier to get out of than the full armor he'd still had on when Brock had gone to the shower.

"Well, if you're not going to get it out for me to admire, I might as well." Winter moved to stand in front of Brock, hands gripping his shoulders. Brock slid his hands up Winter's thighs to rest on his hips.

"Maybe I want you to unwrap me."

"What, like a present?" Brock asked, but his hands were already working to get Winter's pants off of him.

"You're saying I'm not a gift?"

"I would never say that baby. You've been the only thing keeping me interested in living for a long time." Winter visibly relaxed at that, leaning down for a kiss.

"You're the only reason I know what it means to feel safe." They were quiet for a moment, basking in the closeness. "Hey, Brock, since you're down there," Winter started leadingly, and Brock laughed.

"You want something, baby?" he asked, pushing the pants down creamy skin.

"Wanna see those pretty lips stretched around my dick." Brock shuddered. "You wanna do that for me?"

"Anything you want, baby."

It was a stretch to get Winter's dick in his mouth. Brock didn't know if that had also been enhanced by the experiments Hydra had done on him or if he'd always been hung like a horse, but he was on the freaking huge side of human normal, though fairly average in length. Which was good, because Brock didn't think he'd be able to swallow it. It was hard enough just getting his mouth open enough to take the whole thing in.

Winter didn't seem to notice any issues with his technique though, or maybe he liked it. His hands were gentle brushing through Brock's short hair, hips working lightly in cooperation with Brock's motions. The single, simple task to focus on settled Brock's mind as the shower had not; he knew by now what Winter liked, and the only difficult thing was fighting the ache in his jaw as it stretched past his normal use.

Winter was murmuring softly to him, but Brock didn't have any idea what he was saying. He didn't even know what language Winter was speaking in. He knew an impressive number of them. Brock wasn't even sure if Winter knew what he was saying or if he was just mindlessly babbling in his pleasure. It was pleasant, though, the constant rumble of affection and praise. He'd never gotten much affection or praise from anyone in his life other than Winter.

Winter pulled back when he was about to come, clenching his hands on Brock's shoulders with just the tip still in his mouth. Brock pulled Winter down for a kiss with a mouthful of come. He didn't particularly care for the taste or texture of it in his mouth, but he did enjoy Winter's response to it. Winter pushed him down onto the bed, straddling across his hips to kiss him, grinding down against him as though he hadn't just come.

"Fuck. Baby please."

"Shh. I've got you." Winter nuzzled in to bite at his neck gently, mindful as always of Brock's need to maintain a professional appearance. How that had become one of the things that stuck in his head Brock didn't know, but he was grateful for it. "Just relax, I've got you baby. You've done so good."

It was a role reversal, Winter praising Brock's work, but he'd take it. Getting them safely to the base without being discovered by either SHIELD or Hydra hadn't been easy and he was exhausted. And it was so easy to just relax into Winter's hands. Winter had never hurt him. Even when they'd first met, when Winter had left a golden imprint of his teeth on Brock's hand, he'd never really hurt him, and he'd been in a full meltdown then. Brock had been lucky that the soulbond had activated, because otherwise he probably would have lost a chunk of flesh at the base of his thumb.

"So good to me, baby," Brock murmured, reaching out to cup Winter's jaw to pull him into a kiss. Winter's hips were working, and one hand was stroking up and down Brock's dick, pressing it against Winter's as he moved. In his tired state, everything felt huge and overwhelming, and it didn't take long for Winter to have him whining his need to the entire room. "Please, baby."

"Fuck yeah, come for me Brock." Winter was breathless, panting softly as he slid his dick over Brock's, thrusting faster now at Brock's apparent desperation. Brock came with a soft cry, and Winter pulled back to look down at him, hand working quickly over his dick, strokes smoothed by spurts of Brock's spend. Brock forced his eyes back open just in time to catch Winter's release, the almost agony of pleasure in his expression as he sprayed across Brock's chest and stomach.

After a moment to catch his breath Winter pulled away, and Brock could hear water running from the ensuite. He was asleep before Winter got back.

Chapter 2

Notes:

There's some references to past sexual abuse in this one. Please read with caution if that's a potential trigger for you.

"Good morning, baby." Brock snuggled in closer to Winter, surprised when he flinched before wrapping an arm over his shoulders. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Just bad dreams." Brock pulled back enough to meet Winter's eyes.

"Just dreams?" he asked pointedly. Winter looked away, which was answer enough. "I'm sorry, baby. Sorry I couldn't protect you." Winter had been remembering more of his past the longer they'd been away from Hydra, and Brock felt pretty useless helping him process atrocities that had been committed before he'd even been born. All he could do was try to support him, and it didn't feel like enough.

"There was nothing you could do, baby. I was- I was dreaming about my arm."

"Anything useful?" Winter shook his head.

"No. Just- I preferred it when I didn't remember how much it hurt."

"I wish there was a way to let you forget again."

"It'll be alright. We'll get through this."

--------------------

"Baby, you okay?"

"Don't touch me!" Brock froze at the panicked shout, staring at Winter in surprise. He'd thrown an arm up to shield his face and scooted back to press his body into the wall corner, chest heaving as he stared blankly across the room.

"Alright, baby," he soothed, moving to sit on the opposite end of the bed where Winter could see him. Leaving his line of sight during these episodes seemed to make things worse. "Come to me if you want. I'll be right here." Slowly his panicked breathing eased, and he curled down to press his face into his thighs. His whole body was shaking, and Brock could tell he was crying, even though it was silent. But he didn't speak, or even sob audibly. He didn't move, and neither did Brock. He'd thought he'd felt helpless before, but anything he could do ran a risk of setting Winter off lately.

Which was fair. It was completely fair. So much shit had happened to him in the last sixty years. And most of it by the organization that Brock had willingly joined. Sure, he'd been barely more than a child, and vulnerable to the honeyed words about making a better world, a world where he wouldn't have been hurt when he was too little to protect himself. But he'd been willing. Unlike Winter.

But now it felt like all he could do was what he'd always had to do. Watch.

--------------------

"Brock, I don't- I don't like it here." Brock turned, surprised when Winter slid into his lap, threading his knees into the arms of the desk chair.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"I don't-" He cut himself off and started again after a deep breath. "I think it's making things worse. Being here. I know we were safe here, but places like this...." Winter leaned in to wrap his arms around Brock, pressing his face into Brock's neck instead of finishing.

"Places like this are where you were tortured into being the Asset," Brock finished. Winter nodded without moving. "I'll still have to come back for jobs, but there's no reason you need to be here." Winter hadn't gone on any jobs with him since he'd started strongly remembering, a couple of months after the helicarriers had fallen. Brock missed the comforting presence at his back, but they'd both recognized that he would be worse than useless if he was hit with a memory at the wrong time. Sometimes it was days before he came to terms with the new memory and was able to even start processing what had happened. Brock didn't resent that he needed time to recover, but he missed having Winter constantly at his side. What a fool he'd been to think that everything would magically be fine once they'd broken free of Hydra.

"Brock?"

"Just thinking. Do you know what kind of a place you would like? We can go anywhere you want."

"I just- somewhere normal. Open."

"Then that's what we'll do. Give me a couple weeks to find a place, baby. Do you want to stay here, or go to a hotel?" If the base was hurting Winter he would do whatever he needed to.

"I just want to stay with you."

"Then that's what we'll do, baby. I love you."

"I love you."

--------------------

Brock woke from a dead sleep at the cold click of handcuffs around his wrists, lunging up out of the bed. He barely managed to stop as Winter threw himself backwards across the bed to press himself against the wall. Brock closed his eyes, forcing himself to take a long, slow breath and try to calm his racing heart. Finally, he opened his eyes again to look at Winter.

"What's going on here, baby?" he asked carefully. Winter was still pressed against the wall, but he slowly relaxed to move back around the bed, though he stayed just out of reach.

"I- I wanted-" he gestured vaguely, and Brock finally noticed that he was naked. Winter stripping him hadn't set off any alarms. They'd had sex with him half -or more- asleep more than once. He didn't mind that. But Winter knew he didn't like being restrained. "I thought maybe- If you couldn't touch me, I wouldn't freak out."

Brock sighed, trying to force his body to relax. Winter wasn't going to hurt him. He knew Winter would never hurt him. And it had been a long time since they'd had sex, because Winter was remembering the abuse he'd endured, and couldn't handle anyone touching him, not even Brock. He couldn't really be upset that he was trying to find ways around that. Winter had a high sex drive, always had. He was probably losing his mind with the battle between needing touch and fearing it.

"I wish you'd asked me first, baby. We could have avoided scaring each other."

"Would you have said yes?"

"Baby, if you didn't think I'd say yes, why did you do it?"

"I don't kn- I wasn't thinking about it!"

"Come here, baby." Brock moved to sit on the edge of the bed, hoping it would help Winter settle more. He was getting too worked up. Winter moved to push in between Brock's legs, settling his hands onto Brock's shoulders. "Hey. I love you. If this is what you need to feel safe, we can try it. Just talk to me, baby. I can't help if you don't talk to me."

"Nothing you can do. You can't unfuck my head any more than I can."

"I can at least listen."

"I don't want to talk about it." Winter leaned in, hands pushing Brock back onto the bed as he shifted forward until Winter was straddled over Brock's waist. He bent down to kiss Brock, who responded happily despite the stress on his shoulders. He'd had worse. And Winter'd had worse any time he wasn't with Brock, where Brock couldn't protect him. He could handle this.

Winter's hands were gentle, almost hesitant as they skimmed across his skin, and Brock quickly relaxed. He wanted to touch Winter back, of course, but the cuffs around his wrists halted that impulse. And Winter's face was soft, almost peaceful as it rarely was anymore. He would wait forever if it meant keeping that look on Winter's face.

"You want me, baby?" Winter asked softly, and Brock huffed a laugh.

"I always want you," he agreed easily. "But especially right now." The pleased look Winter gave him said that this was a good answer. Brock relaxed back into the attention with a sigh. Finally, he was doing something right. He gasped when Winter's metal hand closed around his dick, stroking just shy of too tight. "Fuck, baby."

"Feel good?"

Brock hissed as Winter's fingers pushed inside him just as roughly, opening his eyes to see that the supersoldier was staring at his face, eyes tracking every change in his expression. He panted through the burn, holding Winter's eyes as his body slowly adjusted to the intrusion.

"Answer me. Does it feel good?"

"Yes." And it did. It still burned, especially when Winter pushed a third finger in before he'd fully relaxed, but he'd learned to associate that burn with pleasure, rather than pain, in the time he'd been fucking Winter. Or getting fucked by the tall boy Winter called a dick, rather. He liked getting fucked, and specifically by Winter, and a little thing like insufficient stretching wasn't going to deter him any.

"You know what they used to say to me?" It wasn't quite a question, despite the wording. Brock's breath caught in his throat, and it took him a long moment to respond, longer when Winter twisted his hand to stab viciously against his prostate.

"I tried not to listen, baby," he admitted regretfully, wondering where Winter was going with this.

"They said that it meant I wanted it, if it felt good. That I asked for it." Winter's expression didn't change as he spoke, still ruthlessly exploiting Brock's pleasure centers.

"Baby. They were trying to excuse hurting you. They wanted to believe that it wasn't rape if they could talk you into agreeing." Brock wasn't sure if he wanted to know why they were having this conversation with Winter's fingers up his ass, and he definitely wasn't going to ask. He cried out softly when a fourth finger was added, stretching him mercilessly wide.

"But how's this any different?" Brock whined in disappointment as Winter's hand pulled away.

"Because I love you, baby. I always want you. I don't care if it hurts a little."

"That's not enough." Winter pushed forwards between Brock's spread legs, one hand moving to guide his dick to press against the opening that Brock was trying his best to keep from closing. He pushed the head in with a mean little thrust, watching Brock ride the pain with a little smirk.

"Are you telling me you wouldn't stop if I asked you to?"

"I-" Winter stopped and then continued reluctantly. "Of course I would, baby." It obviously wasn't the answer Winter wanted to give, but Brock didn't think it was a lie. He just hadn't wanted to admit that he really knew what made it different.

"That's why it's different. You're different, baby. They couldn't make a monster of you, and we both know they tried." Winter pushed forwards instead of replying, not slowly but in short little thrusts that had Brock moaning at each increase. "Fuck, baby. Love your dick in me, you know I do." He held himself back from asking for more, not from pride but because begging had previously set of flashbacks of some of the worst parts of being Hydra's weapon, and they were already too much on Winter's mind today for Brock's comfort.

"I could really hurt you like this."

"I know." And Brock really did. He'd seen the aftermath of a freshly wiped Winter Soldier being ordered to rape someone for information or for punishment. He would only comply freshly wiped. He'd comforted him through the aftermath of realizing what he'd done. As good as Winter was at violence in general, he was a gentle soul really. He didn't want to hurt people. His best work had always been when he truly believed he was protecting people.

"Why aren't you scared of me?" Brock stopped to really think about that, as much as he could when Winter slowly pulled back and thrust into him mid-musing, anyway.

"Fuck, baby. Yes." He panted through another couple of breaths before he responded. "I've never been afraid of you. I was afraid of what they did to you. But even on our first meeting, I knew desperation when I saw it." If the soulbond hadn't activated, Winter would have torn a chunk out of Brock's hand with his teeth. He'd been furious, desperately trying to escape. And watching the lengths they went to in order to subdue the man, Brock had known he'd been lied to. If Hydra had been the organization he'd thought it was, the organization he'd been told it was, they never would have treated anyone like that. From that moment, his goal was to get them both out. It had taken too fucking long, but he'd done it. He'd gotten them away, to safety, and he was taking care of Winter like he always should have. Like he'd always wanted to.

Winter's face was blank looking down at him, hips moving almost automatically. Brock wanted to reach out, pull him in, reassure him of his love and safety until it made a difference. But he couldn't. With his arms behind his back, all he had were words, and they'd never made much of a difference.

"Baby, can I have a kiss?" Winter leaned down to press his lips to Brock's sternum, making him cry out in pleasure at the shift in angle. Winter moved slowly up his chest with kisses and little nips, leaving Brock breathless by the time Winter actually got to his lips. Winter seemed more relaxed though, nuzzling and kissing across Brock's body, and there was a warmth in his eyes when he looked up at Brock that had been missing before.

"Gonna come for me?"

"Almost," Brock whispered back, eyes falling closed as he struggled to hold off.

"Come on. Want you to come on my cock." Brock groaned, trying to hold out. Winter wasn't done, not even close to it, and he was trying to avoid the delicious agony of overstimulation as Winter fucked him past orgasm and into another one for as long as possible. But he had a feeling that this was exactly what Winter was aiming for.

"You first."

"Yeah? You want me to fill you up, baby? Is that what you need?"

"Please." If Winter got off once before Brock did, then most likely he'd be ready to finish by the time Brock was completely worn out.

Winter thrust suddenly, hard and fast and mean into him, and Brock cried out in pain at the last thrust as Winter's dick twitched and pulsed inside him. Brock groaned at the feeling, coming almost before Winter was done, and the supersoldier draped himself forward to rest against Brock's chest. Brock hummed quietly, wishing his hands were free to be able to hold Winter, run his fingers through his hair. But that was exactly why they weren't.

Slowly, Winter pulled away, leaving Brock groaning at the sudden emptiness. He leaned back on his heels, just looking at Brock for a long time before he shifted over to lay on the bed next to him, surprising Brock by not reaching out, not trying to continue what they'd been doing. Winter was almost never satisfied with just one orgasm. Brock wiggled over onto his side to face him, gasping with relief as the pressure on his shoulders lessened.

"You alright?" Brock asked quietly when Winter didn't say anything. Winter shrugged helplessly, but still didn't speak.