Chapter 1: Empty Cups and Promises
Chapter Text
Yuuji raises his scarf a little higher as the winter air bites at his cheeks. It stings, and he exhales slowly, watching his breath fog and dissipate. There’s a part of him that wonders why he keeps doing this to himself.
“It’s torture,” Nobara once said to him. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, long since grown from the days when they were still kids, and rolled her eyes. That deep orange color — of her hair, of her eyes — burned brighter than anything Yuuji’s ever seen. There was pity, there was anger, and there was sadness flickering in that fire, and all she left him with was, “If he wants to kill himself over and over again, then let him. I can’t keep trying to save him.”
Yuuji had tried to protest. He wanted to yell at her and ask how she could ever say such a thing, but all the words were caught in his throat, choking him as she simply scoffed and walked away.
“Do whatever you want, Yuuji. But I’m done with him. When he wants to come back and apologize, then we can talk, but I’m not going to risk my life trying to help him when he clearly doesn’t want it.”
Yuuji has to wonder if Nobara is right.
It’s been so long since they last talked about it. She knows that he still goes, and she doesn’t judge him for it, but she does. Silently. He can see it in the scowl on her face as he leaves the school, wearing the look, as she’s deemed it. The one that Yuuji apparently has when they’re meeting. Nobara doesn’t ask questions. She never has.
She never wants to know.
There’s no way that she’s the only one who knows what Yuuji has been up to. He’s sure that everyone knows, probably even the goddamned higher ups, but no one tries to stop him. It’s like they know that what he’s doing is futile. It’s like they know that he’s just chasing a ghost.
Ijichi had told him once that they had seen it all before, that this was nothing new, and Yuuji’s “secret” meetings were pointless. Yuuji wanted to know why, though. Why weren’t they demanding that he do more if they knew?
Shouldn’t they be threatening him to attack? To drag him back — as a corpse, if he has to — all the way to the school? Shouldn’t they be sending someone stealthier than Yuuji, smarter than Yuuji to trail his every move and then kill them both?
All Ijichi said was that they had seen it before, and they know how it ends.
That was the first time that Yuuji ever truly felt like he knew Gojo Satoru.
So, if that’s the case — if Yuuji is just following in the footsteps of his late mentor, and everyone in the world has seen this happen before in two people who were just as damaged, just as lost, and just as damned, then what was the point?
Yuuji looks around the city. The skies and buildings are the same shade of grey. A dull, lifeless color. It’ll probably snow later, or storm. Either way, the weather matches his mood, because he’s just as dull, just as gloomy. He probably hasn’t properly smiled in years. Not since before Hokkaido.
Everything always comes back to Hokkaido.
So, why? Why does he keep doing this?
That little nagging voice in his head is back, telling him to turn around. It’s been telling him that for years now, but it’s always silenced by the louder, stronger voice in his head.
Because you love him.
He could end this.
Yuuji has power. Two techniques, a domain, Reversed Curse Technique, and a lot of inherent strength. It’s no question. If it came down to it, he would win this fight. He could end it all, return to the school with a body thrown over his shoulder, and be showered with enough praise and money to make a king jealous.
But it all whittles away to the bare truth that Yuuji couldn’t lay a finger on him if it wasn’t done with love. Only a tender touch is able to reach him. That’s the only one that Yuuji will allow.
He’s been running around in circles like this because he loves him. He goes to these meetings, on the first day of every month, because he loves him. He’s been strung along, left in the dark, rejected, spat at, yelled at, and cursed at because he loves him. It’s been five years, and Yuuji would do it all for another five because he loves him.
And the sad truth is that Yuuji will keep loving him until he’s dead. Until he’s nothing but ashes on the ground, meant to mend with the earth. Yuuji would die happy, knowing that his corpse dropped to the grass, if it meant that his body could be close to something green. It doesn’t even have to be the right shade.
Just green.
Someone bumps into his shoulder as Yuuji continues on his path. There are few people out, but that’s pretty typical for New Year’s Day. Even after all these years, when the city’s slowly recovering, some things still just stay the same. There are fewer people in Tokyo, but they still drink just as much — if not more — on New Year’s Eve. There are less buildings crumbling to the ground, but the city still stands, even if there are blocks sectioned off for construction.
The world keeps spinning, and Yuuji keeps going to the same fucking coffee shop, every single month, for five years.
He buries his mouth behind his scarf, intending to sink into his clothes, grasping for warmth. It shouldn’t be much longer now. The foot traffic wasn’t as bad, there weren’t any delays on the train, so he’s expected to approach his destination soon.
Yuuji checks the time on his watch, trying to ignore the pang in his chest when his eyes catch a glimpse of the familiar engraving on the side.
11:56am.
He’s close.
Familiarity creeps around the edges of Yuuji’s mind, and he already knows how this is going to go:
He’s going to get to the coffee shop and find that their table is already occupied. Yuuji is never the one to wait. No, it always has to be him arriving second. He’s going to sit down, and they’ll order the same things they always do — a black coffee, a bagel with cream cheese, a chai latte, and a chocolate croissant. They’re going to talk to each other, giving vague updates about their lives as they both fight the instinct within themselves to kill the other.
Then, Yuuji is going to beg.
Tengen, he always fucking begs.
Yuuji is going to beg, and all of his pleas are going to fall upon deaf ears.
Then, Yuuji will be left alone.
Because that’s how it has to be. Yuuji is the second to arrive and the second to leave. And they’ve never once broken that rhythm. He doesn’t think that it’ll ever change anytime soon, either. No. It’s always him chasing. Not the other way around.
Yuuji reaches for something that he’ll never get, and it’s going to kill them one day.
When the familiar storefront of the coffee shop comes into view, he still can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes him. As always, even from the store windows, he can see the familiar dark hair in the corner of the room. Yuuji doesn’t even have to guess who it is. It’s always him.
He steps inside, letting the scent of coffee and sugar fill his senses. Yuuji takes in the warmth of the building and slowly unravels himself from his scarf. There are more people inside than he expected, at least for New Year’s. Though, he supposes that a morning-after coffee is a pretty reasonable thing, so he simply starts for the table.
All he can see is the back. Black hair juts in every direction, a testimony to its stubbornness, much like the man it belongs to. In all the years that Yuuji has known him, he’s never once seen his hair tamed. His coat is draped over the chair, leaving him in just a simple, black crewneck, and a pair of gloves sit at the edge of the table.
As Yuuji gets nearer, he sees that his order is already waiting for him.
“You bought mine,” he says, a little disappointed.
His voice startles the other man, who turns to look at him as he rounds the table, and then Yuuji is face to face with Fushiguro Megumi.
His best friend. The person he’s in love with. His ex-friend.
“Happy new year,” is all Megumi says. He gestures to the seat across from him, telling Yuuji to sit.
“I was going to buy yours,” Yuuji protests, still standing. “For your birthday.”
“Well, I wanted to buy yours,” Megumi argues. “For the new year.”
Yuuji stares at him, into his beautiful, green eyes. They’re like springtime, a beacon to look for in this cold, grey winter. Green and blue swirl in the irises like a mixing potion, something that Yuuji could drink in until he was nothing but a wordless lover. There’s no point in protesting. Not when he’s looking into Fushiguro Megumi’s eyes.
“Whatever,” he eventually mumbles. “Happy new year.”
Yuuji removes his coat and hangs it off the back of his chair, then places his scarf over it. When he sits down, it’s like all of the air leaves his lungs, and he’s left staring like a gaping fish out of water.
The thing with Megumi is that he’s beautiful, and he knows it. Yuuji loves him, and he knows it. There’s no way that he doesn’t know it, because he practically screamed it at him while begging him not to leave. Just the first of many times that Megumi has told him no.
Always no.
Never I’m sorry.
He looks tired, but he always does. There’s a part of Yuuji that’s worried that he’s gotten worse since the last time that they met, but it’s so hard to tell. The dark circles under his eyes do nothing to take away from their striking beauty. The scar that cuts through his right eye only makes the color stand out more, and the two on his cheekbones do nothing but draw Yuuji back in.
Then there's the big, obvious one. The scar that cuts down his jaw in a jagged ugly line, from his left ear to his collarbone. A reminder that what happened to them was real. Yuuji has a matching scar on his abdomen — a slash that cuts him diagonally, from his left pec to his hip — but he hasn't seen Megumi's, not properly, in a long time.
Seeing it is bittersweet. On one hand, Yuuji is glad that Megumi has stopped trying to cover his scars up. He’s happy that he’s reached a point where he feels better about who he is and how he looks after everything that happened to him. On the other hand, Yuuji hates that it happened this way. That it took a lot of pain, a lot of anger, a lot of loss for Megumi to accept what happened to him.
But that’s the thing.
Yuuji isn’t sure that Megumi has ever quite accepted what happened to him.
Maybe that’s why they’re here. On opposite sides of the table. On opposite sides of the “war.” A war that Megumi not only started but has been fighting for many, many years. A war that began in 2022, when no one really knew what he was doing when he threw his sorcerer ID on the ground and stormed off. A war that hurt everyone when they found the first body later that year, and the only residuals left were that of the Ten Shadows technique.
Yuuji stares at the man before him, and he’s practically a stranger.
Isn’t that sad?
You meet someone every month for five years, and he’s a stranger. You saved his life in so many ways that it’s hard to keep track of it all, and he’s a stranger. You let yourself follow him to the ends of the earth, trusting every time he said he was okay, and he’s a stranger. You held him close at night, you dried his tears, you cupped his face, and you kissed him like the world ended, and he’s a stranger.
Yuuji wonders if Megumi thinks of him as a stranger, too.
“How was your birthday?” Yuuji asks, taking a sip of his drink. It’s sweet, but not too sweet. Megumi ordered it just right, like he always used to. Like he still remembers.
“It was fine,” Megumi answers with a simple shrug. “I spent most of the month of December overseas.”
“I heard.” Yuuji sets his cup down, but his hands stay wrapped around it. He stares at the drink as his thumb absentmindedly runs along the rim. “They said that you were last seen in London.”
“Yeah, I ran into a few of you guys there.”
Yuuji’s thumb halts its ministrations. His eyes remain on the cup as he asks, “And did they…?”
“They’re still alive,” Megumi clarifies. “If that’s what you were wondering. I don’t kill sorcerers.”
Yuuji can feel his jaw tense as Megumi’s words turn themselves over in his mind. I don’t kill sorcerers. “No. But you’ve tried.”
“Only in self-defense.”
“You know why you’re being targeted.”
“And I don’t care.”
The harshness of Megumi’s tone causes Yuuji to look up from his drink. From the warm, milky brown of his latte to the cold, piercing color of Megumi’s eyes. They stare at each other for a moment in complete silence.
Well, “silence” might not be the right word.
There are a lot of things being said, but it’s all in the eyes — Yuuji’s begging and pleading, and Megumi’s hard-fast no every single time. It’s a look that they’re both used to giving, but it never goes anywhere. Yuuji wishes that was enough. It used to be enough. He used to be enough.
Eventually, Megumi sighs and slumps a bit into his seat. “I don’t want to do this today.”
Yuuji presses his lips together into a thin line before he finally nods and says, “No. Me neither.”
They sit in true silence, and this one is uncomfortable. Yuuji tries to reason with himself that he’s doing better. Megumi is looking better, he’s sounding better, and, soon, maybe he’ll be better. All Megumi needs is patience, and he’s the luckiest man in the world to have someone who loves him so unconditionally that he would wait until the sun burnt out for him to be better again.
Then again, Megumi might never be better.
Like Nobara, Kusakabe, Ijichi, Ieiri, and everyone else who’s ever fucking known them, Yuuji might just be waiting for something impossible. Nobara calls him an idiot, tells him that the last star in the universe could die, and Yuuji would still be sitting there, waiting for Megumi, if he thought that there was ever a chance that he would come back.
With a sigh, Yuuji runs his hand through his hair and takes a bite of his croissant. After he’s chewed and swallowed, he looks at Megumi, at the man he loves, and he schools every emotion running rampant in his mind, and he asks, “How was London?”
Megumi nods, accepting the peace offering, the olive branch, and replies, “It was nice. Cold.”
“What all did you do while you were there?”
“I did a bit of sightseeing. It rained a lot. Tengen, I thought I was going to drown there.” Megumi takes a sip of his coffee and continues: “I saw a lot of the cliché tourist spots and got to practice my English. Then, I spent the rest of my time there trying to live like a local. Experience the city in an authentic way.”
They don’t talk about what Megumi was really doing in London, and Yuuji accepts the half-truths with a small smile.
“It sounds nice,” he says. “Even with the rain.”
Megumi nods. “It was nice. I think you would have liked to have gone.”
There’s that familiar pang in Yuuji’s chest. The kind of pain that he’s so used to, it might as well be a part of him. The kind of pain that starts with his heart and spreads to the rest of his body, following the path of the blood that’s being pathetically pumped through his veins. It’s an ugly sort of pain. The kind that you feel when you know that you want something you could never have.
Yuuji smiles softly, but he knows it’s sad.
All of his smiles are sad when he’s with Megumi.
“Yeah. I probably would have loved it.”
Megumi doesn’t say anything else, only hums.
They finish the rest of their food in silence. It doesn’t take long, but Yuuji still appreciates the time to gather his thoughts. Nobara has texted him a couple of times, and he ignores them all, but he still sees Megumi glancing at his phone every time it buzzes.
He’s sure that he misses her.
His theory is proven right when Megumi wipes his mouth after finishing his bagel and asks, “How is everyone at the school?”
Megumi doesn’t mean everyone; he couldn’t care less about the teachers, the sorcerers, the new students, anybody.
He’s asking about Nobara.
“Good,” Yuuji answers. “We’re all doing well. Nobara’s students have been obsessed with her ever since they found out her technique, and recent missions haven’t been too bad.”
Megumi raises an eyebrow. “Oh? Really?”
“Yeah, our cases have been less dangerous.”
There’s a light that flickers in Megumi’s eyes. It almost looks… triumphant. As soon as Yuuji notices it, it’s schooled, as his emotions often are, and he’s met with the same, familiar neutral expression that he’s been dealing with for five years.
“That’s good to hear,” is all Megumi says.
They reach another lull in the conversation, where Megumi sits with his elbows on the table, hiding the bottom half of his face with his hands, as he stares out the window. His brows are furrowed, creasing the skin between them, as he sits there and thinks.
Yuuji is used to this, too.
Sometimes, he says something related to his job as a sorcerer, and Megumi goes silent. It’s like he’s taking the information in and processing it, but Yuuji has no idea what he’s doing with it. He doesn’t know how he uses it. Just that he does. Megumi has always been so good at keeping Yuuji in the dark that it’s getting to a point where he thinks that’s just how it’ll be for the rest of his life.
Until either the higher ups, a curse, or Megumi himself kills him.
“So,” Megumi starts. “Is Nobara okay?”
Yuuji clenches and unclenches his jaw as he ignores another message from her. “Yeah. She’s okay.”
There’s a pause.
Then, “And Maki?”
Yuuji swallows. “She’s okay, too.”
Megumi exhales slowly and nods. “I know that they’ve both been okay for a while, but… I just needed to know if they were okay.”
Yuuji turns his head to look out the window. It’s started to snow now. There are flurries that flutter down from the endless grey sky and paint the streets of the city with a dust of white. It’s bright and beautiful, if a little blinding. Yuuji watches a flake fall right into the window, sticking for a moment before it melts, and the water trickles down the glass in a slow, sad path.
“They would be more okay if you apologized.”
Even in his peripherals, he can see Megumi tense. His fists tighten on the table, and his voice is low and steady as he says, “I don’t see why I need to.”
“You know why.”
“And you know why I did that.”
Frustration builds as Yuuji drops his head and sighs. “No, Megumi, I don’t. I know what you were doing. I know what you tried to do. But, no. I don’t know why.”
“If you know what I was doing, then you know all of the why you need to.”
There’s Megumi, stubborn as ever, worse than the fucking Ox that he owns. All bullheaded and self-righteous. He thinks he’s doing the right thing, but Yuuji doesn’t see how that’s the case.
How can he take so many lives and not see what he’s doing is wrong?
Yuuji exhales slowly through his nose, trying to fight the lump forming in his throat. He doesn’t need to let his emotions take control. Not now.
“Do you…” he tries to start, but his voice cracks. Megumi twitches in the corner of his eyes, but he doesn’t dare try and meet his stare. “Do you think that… this is how their conversations went?”
It’s something that they’ve talked about before.
There seems to be an endless cycle that Yuuji and Megumi are now a part of. One that might go back way further than they’ve ever known. Maybe this was doomed to happen every time two powerful sorcerers exist at the same time. Some sort of ironic, twisted way of the world balancing itself out. It’s just that…
If two powerful sorcerers have to exist together in a way that contrasts the other, then why did they have to love each other, too?
One could argue that it’s just a coincidence. That Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru and Itadori Yuuji and Fushiguro Megumi are just flukes. That powerful people generally love to oppose each other, but there’s a fine line between hate and love, and love is the only thing that Yuuji knows that can fuel something so visceral and emotional.
He was told of the previous owners of the Ten Shadows technique and the Six Eyes and the Limitless technique, a man and a woman. Heads of their clans that killed each other in battle. Yuuji’s also been told of the rumors about those two. How they fought with so much passion, that the battle was so personal, that people speculated it was more than just a family feud.
Who knows.
It’s not Yuuji’s business to rob dead people’s graves; he just wants an answer.
Was this always supposed to happen to them?
Megumi takes in the question and shrugs. Yuuji can see the movement, just barely, as he continues to look out the window. He’s so used to catching every little thing that Megumi does — every micro-expression, every shift in tone.
“Does it matter?” he eventually asks. “They’re dead.”
Yuuji rolls his jaw and nods, letting a small, cold laugh escape from his lips. “I don’t know how you can say that so callously.”
He turns to look Megumi in the eye, unsure of what he was expecting. The disconnected, vacant look was far from what he thought he might face. Megumi almost looks… bored.
“I never knew one of them,” he replies, voice empty. “The other was a fool.”
Anger swells in Yuuji’s stomach, pooling at the base and rising, like lava, throughout the rest of his body. He clenches his teeth so hard together that they might shatter, and his voice is dark and low as he growls, “The other one loved you.”
“That’s what got him killed.”
Megumi meets his eyes with something more than just the vacant expression he had had just a moment ago. There’s passion and ferocity hiding behind the irises that Yuuji loves so much, telling him to back off. Right now.
Beneath it all, Yuuji thinks he might see pain, too.
Yuuji should let it go. He should back off and go back to their empty conversation, where they speak to each other like old friends who haven’t seen each other in years, rather than two people who should be actively trying to kill each other. But he doesn’t want something like that. It’s all polished and fake, and he thinks that it’s about time they stop with the gilded talk and actually fucking talk to one another.
“Gojo-sensei’s love for you wasn’t the reason why he died,” Yuuji says. Slowly.
Megumi stares at him with something akin to hatred, and his fists clench. “He let his guard down. He thought he won, and it was because of his recklessness and his softness for me that he lost his life.”
“Anyone would have thought that they won with the state that Sukuna was in,” Yuuji argues.
Both of their voices are soft and low. Anyone who passed by wouldn’t even think that they were arguing. They would have no idea that this is a conversation that they’ve had so many times before with their eyes, and it always leaves one angrier than the other.
Though, now that they’re finally voicing it, he has to wonder how this meeting might end.
“Then he was a fool just because of his stupidity,” Megumi snaps, the hiss of his voice reminds Yuuji of a snake. The way that his words dart out and pierce his ears is just like the way the reptile lunges at its victim. It’s quick, and the pain is immediate. “He shouldn’t have let his guard down until I was dead on the ground.”
“We didn’t want to kill you,” Yuuji tries to explain. “We wanted to save you.”
Megumi scoffs and sits back in his chair. “And look where that got me.”
Yuuji looks at him for a moment before he finally allows himself to concede. All he can do is shake his head and ask, “Why isn’t this enough? Why wasn’t I enough?”
Megumi stares back, silent. For once, he seems to be rendered speechless. During these meetings, it’s always Yuuji who’s left with a question that makes him stop and think. It’s always Yuuji who doesn’t know how to reach Megumi.
This time, though, Megumi seems to want to reach back.
Yuuji remembers how they used to be. They were so familiar with each other, so comfortable. Yuuji could walk into Megumi’s room without knocking, and the two of them could just exist together on his bed until the sun set and came back up again.
What had happened to those nights?
What happened to the Megumi that Yuuji knew?
He’s still in there. Somewhere. He has to be. Yuuji can still see him every now and then. On those rare occasions when they’re both feeling a little nostalgic. But then it’s like something reminds Megumi that what they’re doing is wrong, and Yuuji is left with a stranger in his place.
“You are enough,” Megumi says. His voice is so quiet that it’s barely a whisper. There’s a tenderness that coats his words and embraces Yuuji. A tenderness that Yuuji hasn’t heard in a long time.
But it’s wrong.
It’s all wrong.
If Yuuji is enough, then why—
“It’s everything else that’s not.”
And there it is.
Megumi always says shit like that that doesn’t make any fucking sense to Yuuji. He’s always so cryptic and vague, never giving him an entire piece of any information. There’s a giant fucking puzzle that he’s leaving behind for Yuuji to solve, but all of the pieces are broken and scattered.
How in the world is he ever supposed to put it together?
“So… what?” Yuuji asks, a bit incredulously, because he’s tired of playing this fucking game. “You’re just going to keep killing people? Until…? When does it end?”
He’s not even sure why he bothers asking. The answer is the same as it always is:
“You’ll know.”
Yuuji scoffs and shakes his head. It’s to a point where he has to laugh, because what else is he supposed to do?
Running in circles, forever and ever, chasing something that he’ll never catch.
All because he loves the man before him.
“And then what?” he presses. “I’m supposed to forgive you for all you’ve done? Maki and Nobara are supposed to kumbaya with you, because we’ll suddenly understand? As if you haven’t had a gigantic fucking execution sign hanging over your fucking head since the first day we found a body?”
Yuuji really needs to keep his tone in check. He has to stay quiet, because who knows who could be overhearing them. Sorcery may be common knowledge around the world now, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t scare people. And here he is, sitting across from, having a meal with the Jujutsu Society’s most wanted sorcerer.
“I kill because I need to,” Megumi hisses back, going so much as to sit forward in his seat to get the point across. “You don’t understand it, but you will.”
“I will never understand it, Megumi,” Yuuji says, his voice cracking with defeat. “I’ve been trying so hard to, but I have no idea what you’re doing.”
“That’s on purpose. You’d stop me if you knew.”
“I’m already trying to stop you.”
“No,” Megumi laughs as he shakes his head. “You’re not.”
Yuuji bites the inside of his cheek as the words sink in. He is trying; he knows it. The higher ups, Nobara, everyone might not think that he is, but he is. They all want Megumi dead, but Yuuji knows that he could come back alive. Megumi could come back, he could be Megumi again, if they just trusted Yuuji enough to make that happen.
“If you wanted to stop me, you could kill me,” Megumi continues, like he’s trying to provoke Yuuji.
“Everyone wanted to kill you in Shinjuku, too,” Yuuji counters. “And I saved you. I’m going to save you again.”
Shaking his head, Megumi simply says, “Not if you’re going to stop me. You can’t stop me.”
“I’m going to try.”
“You couldn’t do it.”
“I could.”
They’re both leaning forward against the table now, staring into each other’s eyes. Megumi almost looks amused by the entire thing, as if he loves the idea of stringing Yuuji along like this.
Does he know how much it hurts him? Is Megumi aware of the aching, rotting pain that’s taken permanent residence in his chest?
Yuuji is sure that someone could cut him open, they could slice through the muscles and tendons, peeling back the skin, cracking the ribs open, and all they would find is rot. He can picture it now. The dark, oozing mass that lives within him, there since the day that Megumi left.
Megumi has to know that it’s there. He has to be able to see the pain on Yuuji’s face, because Yuuji has always worn his heart on his sleeve, and Megumi has always been the person who read him the best. But, instead of pity, instead of remorse, instead of love, all Megumi looks at him with is that of amusement.
It’s like he knows more than Yuuji ever could. It’s like Megumi is the one who is staring at the big picture, and Yuuji is only focused on the tiniest of details.
But how is that possible?
Yuuji doesn’t want Megumi to keep killing. He wants Megumi to be able to come back to Jujutsu Society, to live with him, to love him. He wants him to heal and process his grief and his trauma in a way that is healthy. He wants to save people, all people, even the bad ones, because it shouldn’t be his, or Megumi’s, or anybody else’s choice as to whether they should live or die.
So, where, in all this, is Yuuji missing the big picture?
And why is it that Megumi seems to be the only person in the world who sees it?
“Why do you think you can do this?” Megumi asks, eyes boring right into Yuuji. There’s a small curl of his lips, the slightest upturn as he looks at him like he’s something he’s never seen before. It’s like he’s both studying him and genuinely fascinated by him.
Yuuji swallows, trying not to crack under the pressure of his gaze, and answers simply, “Because I love you.”
And then, Megumi does the worst thing in the world.
He laughs.
Megumi sits back, his chin raising, his eyes closed, and he fucking laughs.
Yuuji can already feel the tears welling up, though he wills them to stop. He won’t let a single tear spill. It’s been years since he last cried in front of Megumi, and he won’t let this be the day that he does. Yuuji has poured his heart out to the man in front of him many times in the past, with varying reactions, but this is the first time that Megumi laughs in his face.
“You know, Yuuji,” Megumi says, still chuckling. “Love is the most twisted curse of all.”
Yuuji swallows, then clenches and unclenches his jaw. “So, I’ve heard.”
“Love is strong, but it’s not that strong,” Megumi continues to explain. “It can do a lot of things: curse people, kill people, damn people. It can change them, give them hope or motivation.”
He pauses, but it’s clear that he’s not done. Yuuji waits, because that’s what he always does.
“But the one thing that love can’t do is fix.” Megumi makes sure that he’s looking Yuuji right in the eye as he says it. “No matter how much you want it to.”
Yuuji inhales sharply and asks, “And how do you know that?”
There’s a small twitch on Megumi’s face. His brows scrunch for a moment and his mouth pulls into a brief frown. Every little movement happens within half of a second, but it’s so obvious — or rather, Yuuji is so perceptive — that he catches it instantly.
As soon as his expression is schooled, however, Megumi only looks at Yuuji and says, “Because I love you.”
And it should be the thing that Yuuji’s always wanted to hear.
The idea that Megumi loves him back isn’t a foreign concept, but that’s the issue. Megumi has loved him back for so long, and they still sit where they are. Hearing it isn’t monumental. It’s not like the clouds part, and the sun peeks through. It doesn’t bring Yuuji joy or comfort to know that Megumi loves him back. Even hearing the confirmation is like listening to a song that he’s heard many, many times before.
It just leaves him with more questions.
“Then why won’t you come back with me?” Yuuji asks, or rather pleads.
And so, it begins. The pleading and the begging.
“Why won’t you just come be with me?”
There’s a moment when Megumi’s eyes will soften.
“I do want to be with you.”
And Yuuji will think that he’s getting somewhere.
“Then, please, Megumi. Come home with me.”
Megumi will hesitate for a second, because he genuinely thinks it over every single time.
“I don’t think I can.”
Yuuji will try so hard to convince him that it will be okay — that he will protect him.
“You can, Meg. Please. I promise. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
And Megumi will shake his head.
“It’s not that. Nothing will change.”
But Yuuji will still push, because he is nothing, if not persistent.
“We will make things change. You and me.”
And every time, without fail, Megumi will always reject him.
“No, Yuuji. I can’t.”
And every time, without fail, Yuuji swallows his pain. And he nods.
“I wish you could.”
Megumi looks at him with a longing in his eyes that makes him think that he’ll change his mind. Seeing Yuuji so defeated and sad, there used to be a time when Megumi would move mountains just to wipe that expression from his face.
Now, all he does is nod slowly and say, “I know.”
They sit together in another moment of silence. Yuuji finishes off his chai latte, Megumi’s mug is already empty, and that’s usually when their meeting ends, but they both remain in their seats. It’s like they’re both waiting for something from the other, but Yuuji isn’t sure what it could be.
All he knows is the endless pit of defeat that resides in his mind. Another month, another year of his failure. It’s the start of 2029, and all it seems to be is another year of this endless cycle.
When does it end?
When they finally kill each other?
They both sit there, in front of the other, neither moving, as they wait for the answer to fall from the sky. Yuuji knows that he should leave soon. Maybe this will be the first time that he gets up first, but he also knows that his body won’t move until Megumi is walking out that door.
He sits there, accepting his failure, all of the things that he should do just passing right by him in his mind, and he waits. Always waiting. Always for Megumi.
“You know,” Megumi starts, the soft timbre of his voice contrasting everything else about him. He does not sound like Fushiguro Megumi, a sorcerer wanted for defection and murder. He sounds like Fushiguro Megumi, the man that Itadori Yuuji loves. “I didn’t want today to go like this.”
Yuuji stares at the table and finds it in himself to nod. “Yeah. Me, too.”
“I thought that we could have caught up better,” he continues. “I could tell you more about London, and you could tell me about all the ways that Nobara kicked your ass in training.”
A laugh escapes from Yuuji, but it’s dry and hollow. “Yeah, that would have been nice.”
Megumi leans forward, reaches across the table, and places a gentle hand over Yuuji’s. It’s so different from all the other times that they’ve touched, and something about this feels a lot more intimate than anything they’ve shared in the last five years.
Yuuji hasn’t felt a touch like this since before Megumi left.
“You don’t understand this, but you will,” Megumi says. He says it with so much conviction; it’s like a promise. As if he knows that Yuuji will one day get it, and he just has to trust that the people Megumi’s killing is all for a good cause. “I swear.”
“I just don’t know how I’m supposed to believe you,” Yuuji says, his voice grating from the low volume. He barely wants to say it, because he does want to believe Megumi. With all his heart.
“You trust me, don’t you?”
Yuuji shifts his gaze to Megumi’s eyes. “Do I?”
Now, it’s Megumi’s turn to look defeated. His face falls, and the hand that covers Yuuji’s goes limp. He takes a moment to compose himself before answering, “I hope I haven’t lost that yet.”
And all Yuuji can say is, “I don’t know.”
Megumi takes a moment to process what he’s just said. Yuuji can see all five stages of grief shift in his eyes. It’s dark and sad, and each emotion is so prevalent and obvious that Megumi might as well be screaming it at him.
Then everything switches. It’s as if he jumps from acceptance right back to anger, and it’s all because of Yuuji. Megumi pulls away, his hand retracting back in an instant, his expression hardened. There’s a crease forming between his brows as he scowls, and it’s clear that today is not meant to be a happy one.
“You should,” Megumi spits. “You always have.”
“I just don’t know what I’m supposed to think here, Megumi.”
“Think about me. You know me.”
“I hope I still do.”
Megumi rolls his jaw and scoffs. “Have you ever even considered why I’m doing this?”
Yuuji guffaws at him, staring in pure shock and disbelief. “You think I haven’t?”
Megumi shrugs.
“You think I haven’t, every single fucking day for the last seven years, wondered why the hell you left us? Why you left me?” Yuuji asks.
“You say that like we were together,” Megumi says coldly, clearly out of defense.
“Weren’t we?” It’s more of a demand on Yuuji’s part, but he’s so incredibly dumbfounded that he doesn’t even know how to think in this moment. “I mean, we may as well have been.”
“Even if we were, officially, I would still make the choice I did.”
“Sure, you would. Because you never want to rely on us for help.”
“Because I want to protect you.”
“And tell me, please, how in the world are you protecting us by killing people all over Japan and the world?” Yuuji asks, trying so desperately to understand. “I mean, I must say, using your technique is fucking genius. None of the regular people would ever guess how your victims died. Who knows how many other deaths you’ve gotten away with just because your kills weren’t reported to us.”
“I’m not killing people, I’m killing curse users,” Megumi snaps, immediately defensive.
Yuuji falters for a moment, buffering as the information processes.
Megumi is killing… curse users?
“I— what?” he asks, blinking slowly.
Megumi presses his lips together into a thin line, like he knows he can’t take back what he’s just said.
“Megumi, what the fuck do you mean?” Yuuji presses, trying so hard to understand his goals. “You’re killing curse users? Why?”
“You don’t need to know why, Yuuji. You just need to know that I have a reason.”
“I’m sure every murderer has a reason for killing someone, Megumi, that doesn’t make it good.”
Megumi scoffs and crosses his arms. “You think I’m a murderer then?”
“Doesn’t everyone?”
“Do you?”
Yuuji huffs, shaking his head. “You’re killing people. That’s murder.”
“There are ways to kill people that isn’t murder.”
“Oh, so I’m supposed to believe that you’re defending yourself from curse users all over the world? Forty, fifty, maybe a hundred people or more all attacked you first?”
“No, Yuuji,” Megumi grits out. “I’m saying that, sometimes, people die, and it’s necessary for the world.”
“That’s not for you to fucking decide, Megumi,” Yuuji snaps.
He’s trying so hard to understand it all, but he just can’t wrap his mind around it. How does Fushiguro Megumi, his best friend, the person who saved Yuuji, the person that Yuuji saved, go from a sorcerer to a killer at the age of nineteen?
What happened?
“Megumi,” Yuuji starts, and he does it very carefully. This is a sensitive topic, but it feels necessary to bring up. “I know that… we struggled for a while—”
“Don’t.”
“—After Hokkaido—”
“Yuuji, don’t.”
“—But I just feel like—”
Megumi stands up so abruptly that it cuts Yuuji off. They stare at each other, Megumi looking down, Yuuji looking up, and it’s the first time that Yuuji really notices just how tired he looks. He knew that it was bad, but he didn’t realize that it was bad.
The circles under his eyes are more prominent than ever in the lighting from this angle. There’s a weariness that he wears like a second skin, in the way that his posture dips and his chest heaves. Fuck, Megumi looks like he’s fucking killing himself, and Yuuji is only now realizing just how bad it’s getting.
“Megumi—”
“Don’t fucking talk,” Megumi warns. His voice is low, dark. Sinister. His eyes cut into Yuuji with the finest blade, and it’s like staring Death in the face. “Not about that.”
Yuuji lets his mouth shut, and he nods. He knew that he was crossing a line, and maybe he would have kept going, but the sight of Megumi is so jarring that he has no other choice but to stay silent.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“I have to go,” is all Megumi replies with.
So, that’s it, then. They’re done for today. Yuuji can plan to see him in thirty days, but he knows he’ll never stop hearing about him — not from his coworkers, not from the higher ups, not from the news who report another mysterious animal mauling.
“Okay.”
Megumi grabs his coat and his gloves, quickly slipping everything on like he can’t wait to get as far away from Yuuji as possible. Sometimes they text, but Yuuji doubts he’ll hear anything but radio silence until the next time they meet. Another day of him slowly killing himself, hoping that his love could be enough.
Yuuji stares forward as Megumi finishes buttoning up his jacket. He lingers for just a second, and it’s all the time it takes for Yuuji to ask, “There’s nothing I can say to change your mind?”
Megumi sighs, turning away from him, so evidently clear that he’s done with the conversation. “Not unless you plan on changing the entire world.”
“You know I’d do it for you,” Yuuji says, allowing his voice to break, because, frankly, keeping up his mask for this long has gotten exhausting.
He thinks that it might change something in Megumi. Maybe he would hear it and consider that what he’s doing is wrong. But Megumi only tsks and scoffs, his back still facing Yuuji, and says, “Then stop making empty promises and fucking prove it.”
And then, he’s gone.
Yuuji sits in the coffee shop for an indeterminate amount of time in what can only be described as a fugue state. He plays the conversation over and over in his head, wondering why today, of all days, got so bad. There hasn’t been a meeting like this in a long time, but they’re both so deeply rooted in their beliefs that it’s not entirely surprising.
They were bound to explode on each other at some point.
Yuuji just wishes that he understood it all.
He used to be able to read Megumi so well, but now… it’s like Megumi purposefully hides everything from him and him, specifically. It’s like he’s aware just how much of a weakness, a pressure point that Yuuji is, and so he acts in a way that makes him impossible to understand.
People walk in and out of the shop, Nobara blows up his phone, but Yuuji is left sitting in the corner while his heart walks away into the city of Tokyo, sure to kill again. And the thing is, Yuuji will still love him. It’s been over ten years since he realized it, seven years since Megumi left, six years since Nobara said she never wants anything having to do with him ever again, and five years since they started these monthly meetings.
And here he is, at twenty-five, still loving him, no matter how much it makes him want to curl in on himself. No matter how much Yuuji wants to take all of Megumi’s pain and bear it on his own, how much he wants to shoulder it until the weight crushes him dead, how much he wants to sink into himself and give it all up, Yuuji will still love him.
Eventually, Nobara calls, demanding that he check in and prove that he’s alive. Yuuji answers and tells her that he’s fine, and he can hear the crack in her voice as she cusses him out.
“You’re such a fucking idiot, Yuuji,” she says. “I thought that you were— that he—”
“He would never do that,” Yuuji assures her, but she scoffs almost instantly.
“Sure he would, Yuuji,” comes through the phone, and her voice is cold. “He already tried with me.”
All Yuuji can do is swallow and promise that he’ll return to the school soon.
The walk back through the city is surprisingly pleasant. He still has to bury his face in his scarf, and the snow makes it hard to see, but it’s nice. The soft, muted sounds of his footsteps in the snow remind him of better days, easier days. Yuuji can close his eyes for a brief moment and remember a time so long ago when he once declared that he loves snow.
He does love the snow.
It’s fierce and beautiful, but it’s also gentle and soft. Snow reminds him of childhood innocence and the idea that all people have the capacity for purity and good. It can be wild and unpredictable, dangerous even, but, in the end, it’s still snow.
And Yuuji loves the snow.
And Yuuji loves Megumi.
His breath still shows in the cold, winter air, although a bit muffled through the fabric of the scarf. Yuuji can see the snowflakes catch in his eyelashes, and he has to blink them away in order to keep going to the train station. There are even less people out and about now, most of them tucked away into some shop or their homes as a way to escape the weather.
Still, Yuuji marches on, telling Nobara to have a car ready for him at Uenohara Station. It’ll take him a bit of time, but what’s another hour and a half to two hours of sitting on something that Yuuji’s been festering with for years?
He’ll still do this all over again, because he’s just as leashed as he was on the day the marks appeared on Megumi’s skin and his voice uttered the word brat with such disdain there was no mistaking what had happened. And despite everything that they went through, all of the death and the destruction, the losses and the bodies piled, Yuuji would still do it again.
Even as he sits on the train on the Chuo Line, heading east, leaving behind a part of his soul in Tokyo, he tells himself that it could be okay. That he can figure this out and bring Megumi back. Even with all that’s happened, Yuuji is the strongest, and he’s not going to let anyone lay a single fucking finger on Megumi, because he knows that this isn’t Megumi right now.
He doesn’t care what person he has to defy, which clan he has to piss off, or what higher up he may have to kill. Gojo has done it before, and Yuuji could do it again. There’s something deeper, something that’s rooted itself in Megumi since the day they stepped on Hokkaido’s soil. They’ve been allowing it to grow, to weed itself into Megumi’s mind and convince him that what he’s doing is right, but it’s not.
He just has to see that.
Yuuji can make him see that.
When Yuuji finally reaches Uenohara and is picked up in one of the familiar black cars of Jujutsu Tech, he sends Nobara a message to let her know that he’s left the station and on his way home. It takes a moment for her to reply, but he doesn’t really mind. No, he has other things on his mind.
The driver is a new assistant manager, a girl who’s engaged to one of the sorcerers that works for the school. They’re both young. Maybe nineteen?
The same age that Yuuji and Megumi were when everything all went to shit.
Sometimes, Yuuji looks at them, he looks at their love, and he’s jealous. He used to have that, he would think. There was a time when he had that, and everything was perfect.
Now, as he lays his head back against the headrest and closes his eyes, Yuuji can only want for a time that’s long since passed. His heart aches for the one person who refuses him, time and time again. But Yuuji will keep on asking, no matter what, because that’s how he’s going to save him.
When his phone finally buzzes and Nobara replies, Yuuji sighs and raises his head to look at the message. But as he reads the words on the screen, his heart drops, his breathing shortens, and the entire world falls away. They could have crashed into the mountains, the car tumbling down the side until it exploded, and it would have been less painful.
Yuuji reads the words on the screen, over and over again, trying to convince himself that it’s simply not true, that it’s wrong, or that he’s just dreaming.
But it’s true. It’s real and right in front of him.
Megumi: Don’t bother coming to the coffee shop on February 1st.
Megumi: I won’t be there.
Chapter 2: Look Around and Tell Me What’s Changed
Notes:
BLAST FROM THE PAST.
i said i was making shit up for the timeline and, oh boy, i am.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
November 17, 2018
I
Fushiguro is
I don’t know what to do. I found this old notebook and thought maybe I should just try and write out my thoughts. Maybe it will help me process everything that’s happened.
Fushiguro is gone, and Sukuna
I feel like I don’t have anyone left. I know that I have people who care about me, and there are people that I know, but with Kugisaki and Fushiguro gone…
I don’t want to be alone.
November 19, 2018
WE GOT GOJO-SENSEI BACK
He can help us!!! We can win. We can get Fushiguro back!!!!
November 23, 2018
I’ve been so busy. Training is hard but good. I need to get stronger. I We need to save Fushiguro. I’ll do whatever it takes. This is a binding vow
This is a binding vow.
December 2, 2018
I’m getting stronger. I can feel it.
Not much time to write.
I don’t want to. I need to train.
December 14, 2018
Gojo-sensei said Fushiguro’s birthday is soon. I can’t believe I never knew it before. Fushiguro never brought it up, and I guess I didn’t really know him that long…
It doesn’t feel right to say that.
I knew Fushiguro. I know him.
I’m going to save him. No matter what. I’ve been learning and getting stronger. We all have. Training is… weird. It’s weird to be in another person’s body.
It doesn’t matter though. I’m determined to learn. I need to get stronger.
Whatever it takes.
December 22, 2018
Happy birthday, Fushiguro.
We’re going to save you.
December 23, 2018
This ends tomorrow.
December 2018
January 2019
??
I don’t know what day it is, but it’s over.
We
Gojo-sensei
Choso
We won.
January 4, 2019
Fushiguro still isn’t awake.
I finally have a grasp of what day it is. Kugisaki told me it’s been over a week since the fight ended. Fushiguro still isn’t awake. I try to visit him as often as I can. Usually twice a day. Sometimes I have to help Okkotsu with things. There have been meetings and regulation stuff happening. I don’t care about that. I just want Fushiguro to wake back up.
January 7, 2019
Practically everyone is a Grade 1 sorcerer now. Anyone who fought Sukuna, at least. It hasn’t even been two weeks, and they already want us getting ready to go back on missions. The whole world knows about sorcery, and world leaders are demanding to be a part of the board, acting as the so-called “higher ups.” They want my opinion. They want Okkotsu’s opinion. They want us to prove that we’re safe.
January 14, 2019
I can’t keep arguing with these people. Kusakabe-sensei, world representatives, that old, stupid doormat from the Kyoto school. Who decided that they get to control and run things?? Kusakabe-sensei tries to “advocate” for us, but he’s not doing what Gojo-sensei used to do. He never will.
I wish Fushig
“Hey.”
Yuuji clenches his pen in time with his jaw, the sharp pressure travelling throughout his body. When he turns, he sees Kugisaki standing in the doorway to his room, leaning against the frame with her arms crossed. Her hair falls in her face, and strands brush against the dark eyepatch she now wears. If Yuuji were to look closer, he’d see the scarring of tissue branching out from behind the patch — a stark reminder that no one made it out alive the last three months.
No.
They barely made it out alive.
“Still writing?” she asks, nodding his way, eyeing the notebook on his desk.
Yuuji looks down.
He found it back in November. This old, tattered, half-soiled notebook, tucked away on some shelf or somewhere that escapes his mind now. The cover is torn, and there are pages with water stains.
Other pages have tear stains.
Yuuji isn’t sure what possessed him to start writing in it. With all the shit that was going down back in November and December, he’s surprised he managed to find time to write anything at all. Something about it was nice, though. It helped him take the loudest, most intrusive thoughts from his head and turn them into something tangible.
Even if his entries are brief, even if he doesn’t write in it every day, there’s just something that heals him every time he writes.
“What do you need, Kugisaki?” He slouches over his desk, dropping his head into his hands. “If you’re coming here to calm me down and ask me to go back in there, I’m not doing it. I was this close—” his arm shoots out, his hand pinching the air, leaving the smallest gap between his thumb and forefinger, “—to killing someone.”
“That’s not it,” she replies, inviting herself in. “They were pissing me off, too.”
“I don’t understand how they expect us to just be up and running as if the last three months didn’t happen,” Yuuji rants, throwing his pen on the desk. “All of these world representatives and political figures, with their stupid opinions and personal agendas. They didn’t live through the devastation that we did. They didn’t have to see what I saw.”
“Kusakabe-sensei told them to go easier on us,” Kugisaki says, her voice calm and soothing, though he knows she’s only doing that to keep him calm. “He and Gakuganji asked to give all students a grace period before we have to go back to taking missions. There’s just one more that we have to take care of, but it’s not supposed to be anything dangerous.”
“Oh, yeah,” Yuuji scoffs. “And how long will that ‘grace period’ be? Two days?”
“Kusakabe-sensei is arguing for a month.”
He scoffs again.
One month.
One month.
You live through hell. You cause the death of thousands of people. You watch the ones you love die. You see everything you ever knew crumble into dust around you. You sacrifice all that you have. You take hit after hit, after hit, after hit, after hit.
And you only get one month to recover.
“That’s bullshit,” Yuuji spits, letting the venom seep from his tongue to his brain, because he’s nothing but angry right now.
Kugisaki doesn’t say any more. He knows that she hates it just as much as he does, but with the way that things are, she thinks it’s best that they keep their heads down and do what they can to help the world recover. Rather than try to change his mind or calm him down, she wraps her arms around his shoulders from behind and gently lays her head atop his.
Yuuji takes a deep breath and leans back into the chair, letting himself melt into her touch.
“If you’re not here to tell me to go back to the meeting, then why are you here?”
There’s a brief moment of silence, and then he can feel Kugisaki stiffen above him. She holds him a little tighter than before and whispers, “Don’t freak out.”
Yuuji’s jaw clenches, and he inhales a shaky breath. Those three words are almost guaranteed to make him freak out. There are a lot of things wrong right now. They don’t have to be dangerous or life-threatening. They’re just wrong.
Immediately, his stomach drops, and it’s like the only thing he can truly hear is the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. “Kugisaki…”
“Fushiguro’s awake, but—”
Yuuji is out of his chair before she can finish her sentence. The sudden move of standing up practically throws her off of him, but she only stumbles a bit, then catches herself.
“Itadori—”
He slams his notebook shut and starts for the door, Kugisaki hot on his trail.
“We don’t know if he’s—”
“Kugisaki.” Yuuji spins around to face her just as she halts in place. He makes sure that she’s looking him right in the eye before he says, “I don’t care. I’m going to see him. Come on, let’s go.”
January 17, 2019
Fushiguro isn’t doing well. I can tell when I see him. Either everyone else sees it and doesn’t care, or no one sees it, and it’s just me. I want to help him. How am I supposed to help him?
January 19, 2019
I keep having nightmares. They’ve been getting worse ever since Fushiguro woke up. I keep dreaming about losing him. I go sleep to escape the ever-numbing feeling inside of me, only to see him die a thousand times in my dreams, and I have to press my hand against the wall to remind myself that he’s alive on the other side.
I don’t think he gets much sleep either. Most nights, I can hear him moving around his room. I wish I could help him.
January 20
January 21
January 22, 2019
Yuuji stares at the blank page trying to figure out what he’s feeling.
He’s probably been at this for hours now. It’s been a few days since he last wrote anything in his book, but he can’t find it in himself to do so. Every time he tries, nothing comes up. There is no way for him to properly convey what he’s feeling, so he ends up sitting at his desk until the sun goes down and the world goes to sleep.
The problem is that he feels nothing. He searches for something, the semblance of anything, and all he can dig up is the dark void that seems to have taken place in his mind. It’s only been a week into his one-month “hiatus.”
The grace period that Kusakabe pitched to the rest of the higher ups is now in effect, which means that he’s supposed to be taking this time to get back on his feet, train, and miraculously fix his mental health along the way.
He supposes that he’s doing a bit better than before. Maybe. Yuuji has already boxed up his grandfather’s things, moved it all out of Sendai, and brought his life back to Tokyo. There was a massive funeral for Gojo, and he’s already visited the grave at the Gojo clan’s private graveyard. Kugisaki helped him build a shrine for Choso, along with every single one of their brothers, and Yuuji has been taking time to keep it clean every single day.
So, on paper, according to the board, he should fine.
There’s been time to mourn.
But Yuuji is still grieving.
He knows that Fushiguro is, too. It’s evident in the way that he carries himself through the school, like the shell of a person. Fushiguro has always been on the quieter side, but now it’s lucky to hear him say a single word in a day. His frame is smaller, and Yuuji rarely sees him eat. He only ever leaves the school to visit his sister’s grave, and he hasn’t used his technique since their last mission — one week ago.
Sure, it hasn’t been that long, but…
How is one month supposed to be enough time for Fushiguro to be okay again, when Yuuji still feels like he’s barely holding on?
There are so many things that he wants to pour into this stupid, tattered notebook. He’s been trying his best to keep his entries short, but there are so many thoughts and opinions that he just wants to dump into the pages and then throw them at the higher ups’ heads.
Yuuji lied.
He doesn’t feel nothing.
He feels angry.
He’s so angry.
This is the world that they fought for? Gojo went and created a massive power vacuum, with the intent to reshape the entire system, and all of the pieces just fell right back into the same places they were in before? All these straight-suit politicians, just waltzing in and making demands, all these old-time, conservative clan heads and school principals, every single one of them.
They get to have the final say?
How is that fair? How is any of this fair? And how is it that the one person who is on their side the most is Kusakabe?
It should be Okkotsu on that panel, being in that room, having those conversations. Right now, while the world is still in shambles, he, Yuuji, Kugisaki, and a lot of other people involved in the fight against Sukuna get to sit in the meetings and pitch their say, but none of them hold any power. Okkotsu should be there, holding power, but he can’t be anything until his eighteenth birthday, and that’s not until March.
In the meantime, they just have to hope that Kusakabe is keeping their best interests at heart.
A loud crash from the hall jolts Yuuji from his thoughts. He turns to the door of his room, trying to figure out if it was some sort of attack.
God, he’s been so jumpy lately. Yuuji can’t remember the last time that he felt relaxed. Standing from his desk, he quickly places his notebook in the top drawer and shuts it and starts making his way across the room. He creeps past his bed and wardrobe, inching closer to the door, listening for any other noise.
There’s another crash, and the source is clearer now. Yuuji can hear the sound of bottles hitting the tile floors, coming from the communal bathrooms, and he immediately rushes into the hall.
When he reaches the bathroom door, he worriedly calls, “Fushiguro?” and waits for a reply. There isn’t a lock or anything, but he still waits.
“I’m okay,” Fushiguro’s voice comes through, muffled.
“Can I come in?” Yuuji asks, resting his hand on the knob. “Are you decent?”
“Yeah.”
He pauses and listens for anything else, but there’s no other word. Deciding that it must be okay, he walks into the bathroom.
It looks the same as it did before. A line of sinks on one wall, stalls and urinals on the other, and, tucked away in the corner, three standing showers. There’s steam in the room and on the mirrors, and it takes Yuuji a moment to adjust to the thick air.
Looking around, he doesn’t really see anything out of place, and he quietly asks, “Where are you?”
“I’m over here.”
Yuuji makes his way over to the showers, following the sound of his friend’s voice. As he approaches, he can see water everywhere, and there are bottles strewn across the floor. Rounding the first stall, he finds Fushiguro kneeling, wearing only his boxers, trying to pick everything up as he winces in pain.
“What happened?” Yuuji asks, quickly dropping to his knees to help.
“It’s nothing, Itadori,” he replies.
Stealing a peek, Yuuji can quickly see that it’s a lie. Fushiguro is in his boxers, but he’s soaking wet. His hair is dripping, plastered against his face and the back of his neck. Beads of water trail down his arms and his back. Most notably, though, there’s a bruise forming on his left arm, and he winces every time he tries to use it.
Yuuji tries again. “What happened?”
Fushiguro pauses as he goes to reach for a bottle of shampoo. His arm flexes as he thinks, and Yuuji’s eyes catch the sight of the big, jagged scar, just below his armpit, moving with his muscles. Just one of the permanent reminders that Fushiguro now has. Proof that he was not only a vessel for Sukuna but a puppet, too.
“I fell.”
The air is stiff, but it’s not just from the shower steam. Yuuji bites the inside of his cheek and decides to press further.
“How did you fall?”
He can see Fushiguro’s jaw clench, the stony look of his face. Whatever the answer is, he doesn’t want to give it, but, at the same time, it’s clear that it’s eating him alive.
“The shower,” he says, eventually, voice small. “The one I usually use, the one with the detachable shower head, is broken. I tried to use this one, but the head doesn’t detach. I tried. But I fell.”
Fushiguro says it like the answer should make sense to Yuuji, not even bothering to look his way as he collects the rest of the bottles before standing up to place them on the shelves. Once they’re arranged, he stays there, still facing the wall, tense as he waits for a response.
“What does this shower not having a detachable head have to do with you falling?” Yuuji asks, straightening himself back up.
Fushiguro’s shoulders tense, but he quietly answers, “I can control the water when the head is detachable.”
It takes a moment for the answer to click, but when it does, guilt spreads through Yuuji like a poison. “You—”
“I’m okay,” Fushiguro cuts in. “I was basically done anyway. It was just— I went to wash my hair. The water hit my face, and it felt like—” he sucks in a sharp breath. “I’m okay.”
He’s still facing the wall, refusing to look at Yuuji.
“I’m okay, Itadori.”
Yuuji can only stare, unsure of what to say. Is he supposed to give him comfort? Reassure him? Take his words at face value and leave?
What could he possibly say that could help Fushiguro feel better?
Another part of him is kicking himself, wondering how the hell he missed this.
Of course, Fushiguro isn’t okay. He’s known that, but this is different. This is deeper than the loss and the deaths that Fushiguro faces and tries to deal with. This is just like the first time that Yuuji used Shrine. The feeling of cutting into something was too familiar to the feeling of cutting into flesh, into the world around him as Shibuya fell apart.
When Sukuna took over Fushiguro’s body, Fushiguro’s soul sank. He and Yuuji are grieving the people they lost, but they’re grieving something else, too. Their autonomy was taken from them both, but with Fushiguro, it was so much worse, and all the water did was remind him of it all over again.
“Do you—” Yuuji is speaking before he can really think about it, and he has to clear his throat to give himself time to gather his thoughts. “Do you want help?”
At that, Fushiguro turns to face him, brows furrowed and eyes wide. There’s a small blush that spreads across the back of his neck, and he gives Yuuji a once-over before asking, “What do you mean?”
“With your hair,” he clarifies, gesturing vaguely to Fushiguro’s head. “Do you want me to help you wash it? We can do it at the sinks.”
Fushiguro fully faces Yuuji and averts his gaze. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.”
“No, Fushiguro, I want to help you,” Yuuji protests, stepping closer. He stops when Fushiguro takes a small step back. “I’ve helped Kugisaki wash her hair before. I can help you. We just need a chair, a cup, and a sink.”
He doesn’t really expect a yes. Fushiguro looks like he’s about to take off and run, but he waits and thinks it over. They’re both just standing awkwardly in the shower stall, and Yuuji isn’t sure what makes him decide to stay, but then, barely above a whisper, Fushiguro says, “Okay.”
The process of getting a towel, leaving to grab a cup and a chair from the kitchen, and then returning to the bathroom is a lot more nerve-wracking than Yuuji would have thought it to be. He’s terrified of doing something wrong, of saying something wrong, and causing Fushiguro any pain or distress. Still, he wants to help. He wants to do so much and say so much and fix everything, but Yuuji is just one person — broken, too — so he decides that doing this much to help a friend is enough.
When Yuuji walks back into the bathroom, he finds Fushiguro in a plain t-shirt and a pair of shorts, holding a bottle of shampoo and conditioner. His hair is still wet, falling into his eyes, and he gestures towards one of the sinks in the middle of the wall.
No one says anything as Yuuji quietly places the chair in front of it, and Fushiguro makes his way over, staring at the floor as he crosses the tile. He first sets the bottles on the small shelf below the mirror before turning to sit down. When he sinks into the chair, laying his head back against the lip of the sink, he does it with his eyes closed.
Yuuji reaches over to another sink on his right and turns on the water, adjusting the handles to be set at a warmer temperature. In the corner of his eyes, he can see Fushiguro flinch at the sound.
“You sure this is okay?” he asks, turning to study his face, searching for any sign of discomfort.
Fushiguro only inhales and nods, eyes still screwed shut.
It’s not very convincing, but it’s almost like he needs this to happen. It’s only been a week since he woke up, and Yuuji finds that he’s been doing all these things to try and get better. Still, he shouldn’t push himself. The fall in the shower might have been a one-off because the other shower head was broken, but… fixing the shower head won’t fix his fear of water.
Fushiguro must sense his hesitation, because he peeks an eye open and raises his hand above his lap, almost as if he wants to reach out. Yuuji wants to reach back, too, but neither of them moves further than from where they are.
“I trust you,” he says. “I’m okay.”
Yuuji swallows and presses his lips into a thin line. The way that Fushiguro says it, so honest and raw, causes the words to echo in his head. With a shaky breath, he turns and reaches back over to the other sink, running his hand through the water to make sure that it’s warm enough.
He stares at the stream, watching as the water falls over his fingers and down the drain. It’s silent again, and when Yuuji goes to steal a glance at Fushiguro, he finds that his eyes are closed once more. I trust you still plays over and over in his head, and he tries not to let himself get too distracted from the task at hand.
Once the water is at a temperature he likes, Yuuji starts filling the cup, still staring.
The sound causes Fushiguro’s eyes to fly open, head turning immediately. He quickly finds Yuuji’s face, looking intense, wild, and panicked, and says — or, rather, pleads, “Don’t get any water on my face.”
Yuuji can feel the lump forming in his throat, the feeling of his breath stopping and his heart stuttering. All he can do is nod, staring back into the deep green of his eyes, and whisper, “I won’t. I promise.”
Fushiguro relaxes, slowly letting his eyes fall shut again as he sinks into the chair and tries to ease the tension in his body. Laying against the edge of the sink, his hair is slicked back, exposing his forehead. Yuuji has to swallow as he stares at the image, trying to forget the fact that the last time he saw Fushiguro with his hair pushed back, he wasn’t Fushiguro.
The only difference is that his hair is wet and doesn’t stick up. Instead, it pools in the basin, still dripping from his shower, thick and straight.
Yuuji slowly brings the cup to Fushiguro’s hairline, trying to keep a steady hand. He uses his left hand to block water from pouring over his forehead, but he has to readjust to make up for his missing fingers. Fushiguro jumps from the sudden contact, but he doesn’t break away or open his eyes. Yuuji swallows thickly, feeling a lump travel down his throat, as he comes to realize that this is hard for both of them.
Then, once he relaxes, he slowly starts to pour the water.
The moment the water touches his hair, Fushiguro stiffens and clenches his fists in his lap. Yuuji pauses for a moment, then resumes pouring the water across his head. He’s careful to make sure that it doesn’t touch his face, moving slowly and with precision.
And all he can think about is how much it must hurt.
As he watches the water soak into his hair and drain down the sink, Yuuji finds himself back in Shinjuku, all the bloodshed and the death and the destruction. He looks for Fushiguro, but he can’t find him. Instead, all he sees is the face of a monster.
Yuuji inhales shakily and pauses, closing his eyes. The feeling of Fushiguro’s skin under his palm grounds him, and he silently reminds himself that it’s over now. He’s okay, and Fushiguro is okay, and they’re both here.
When he opens his eyes, he’s back in the bathroom.
It’s a brief process to wet Fushiguro’s hair. Since it’s still damp, it only takes two more cups before Yuuji is reaching for his shampoo. But the entire time, he just watches, trying to make sure that Fushiguro is okay, that he’s not in any pain or discomfort. He can’t imagine what this might be like for Fushiguro, how many memories are being pulled from the back of his mind every time water streams down his head.
But, as Yuuji pours shampoo into the palm of his hand, he stares at Fushiguro and realizes that this must be different.
Now that the cup is put away and the water is off, he looks a lot more relaxed. The creases in his forehead have faded, and his scowl has shifted into something more neutral. His breathing is a lot steadier, and when Yuuji moves to wash his hair, a soft sigh escapes from his lips.
He looks so peaceful. Even with the scars, there’s something that makes him look so young. Sure, he’s only sixteen, and Yuuji is still fifteen, but they’ve both had to grow so much. Even Kugisaki, too. All three of them are hardened, feral looking.
But, right now, Fushiguro just looks like Fushiguro.
As Yuuji massages his head, working the shampoo into his hair, he finds himself relaxing, as well. He studies the features of his friend, taking in the serene look of his face, and he has to fight the urge to trace the scars that cut through his skin with his finger.
They’re so jagged and rough looking, breaking across his cheekbones and straight through his right eye. More reminders of the demon that haunts them both. Yuuji sees these scars and remembers how it felt like the world was ripped out from under him.
When Fushiguro sees these scars, is it the same?
Still, even just touching Fushiguro is soothing. Yuuji’s never really considered himself touch-starved before, but now, as he stands over his best friend, washing his hair, he thinks that this is probably the most intimate contact he’s had in a long, long time.
Neither of them speak, which is something that Yuuji is both not used to and grateful for. He reaches back for the cup to rinse out the soap, and all he’s left with is the sound of water as he rinses and adds conditioner. Fushiguro keeps his eyes shut the entire time.
Usually, when he helps Kugisaki wash her hair, she likes to talk to him and tell him what feels good as he massages her head. It’s something that they started doing just because. When it’s her “wash day,” she asks Yuuji if he wants to help, and he always says yes, because he wants to be close to someone.
He never minds the chatter when he’s with her, but it’s different with Fushiguro. It feels different with Fushiguro. So, for the silence, he’s happy to keep it.
As he rinses the last of the conditioner out, Yuuji places his palm flat on Fushiguro’s forehead and lets the water trickle down the sink. He’s not sure why he does it, either out of instinct or some deep, primal want, but as he stands over the sink, looking down at his best friend, he finds himself gently running his thumb across his skin.
Then he hears the smallest noise.
The slight hitch of a breath through Fushiguro’s parted lips.
Then, his eyes open, staring up at Yuuji, shining in the fluorescent lights, a deep, sea green. He doesn’t look angry, however. Just… content.
Yuuji swallows, looking down at him, and slowly pulls his hand away. “All done,” he croaks out, suddenly finding it hard to speak.
“Thank you,” Fushiguro whispers, still staring.
Yuuji nods and moves to get a towel. Fushiguro stands up and takes it with without word, and then they’re both in the bathroom, unsure of what to do. Yuuji should leave, really. He’s helped his friend, and his job is now done. Fushiguro doesn’t necessarily need him anymore, and Yuuji shouldn’t try to crowd him.
But, at the same time, it’s late.
He has a notebook on his desk, sitting open on an empty page for a day that’s probably now past, and he knows he’s not getting any sleep any time soon. No one else is up, and Yuuji doesn’t want to be alone.
Does Fushiguro?
He waits for him to finish drying his hair, ruffling the towel against his head as strands of black slowly start to stick up in their normal, defiant position. When Fushiguro straightens back up and hangs the towel around his neck, he turns to look at Yuuji, a little surprised to see him still standing there.
“Are you okay, Itadori?” he asks, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Suddenly, it’s like having a spotlight shining right in his face. Yuuji stands there awkwardly, trying to find some sort of answer to give that doesn’t make him look pathetic, but he comes up with nothing.
“I just…” he starts, dropping his gaze, now staring at the tiles and hoping they’d swallow him whole. “I probably won’t sleep tonight, so… if you, like, need any company or anything…”
Fushiguro doesn’t respond for a moment, and Yuuji’s worried that he’s weirded him out with his request.
He used to be able to ask for this with no problem. He used to walk into Fushiguro’s room, much to the latter’s annoyance, and exist in his dorm. He used to send a text saying i’m bored and get a knock on his door a moment later.
Now, though, all the unspoken rules are twisted and different. Yuuji doesn’t know what can or can’t cross a line, and the last thing he wants is to make Fushiguro uncomfortable. Still, he can’t help but crave something he doesn’t have, something that he used to have but can’t anymore.
Yuuji just wants to feel connection again.
“If not, that’s okay, of course,” he adds on.
When he looks back up, Yuuji finds Fushiguro staring at him, both surprised and confused, as if the idea that Yuuji would want to spend time with him is absurd. It’s quiet for a moment, the two of them just staring at each other, before Fushiguro nods and looks away, a faint blush spreading.
“That’s okay.”
“Is it?” Yuuji asks, genuinely curious.
The blush seems to deepen, contrasting the pale color of Fushiguro’s skin. He hums in reply, gaze still averted, and says, “I don’t sleep much, either. So, I don’t mind your company.”
And Yuuji can’t help it, he smiles. He feels both relieved and excited. The idea of not having to spend the night alone comforts him, and it’s the first time in a long time that he feels like he’s talking to Fushiguro.
“We can go back to my dorm,” he offers. “If that’s alright?”
Fushiguro nods. “Okay.”
“Come on,” Yuuji says, jerking his head towards the door. “I’ll put on a movie for us.”
At that, Fushiguro lets out a small huff of a laugh and replies, “Of course, you’d pick a movie.”
They make their way to Yuuji’s room, letting the sounds of their footsteps echo in the hall. There’s a buzz of excitement in the air, knowing that neither of them will have to be alone in the darkness, alone with their mind, for this one evening.
Fushiguro crawls into Yuuji’s bed like it’s his own, sitting in the corner against the wall. Yuuji shuts his notebook and places it in the desk drawer before grabbing his laptop and getting into bed. The two of them settle against one another, bodies flush, and neither speaks a word of it.
Yuuji isn’t sure what to think of it all, but the feeling is nice, and he likes having tangible proof that Fushiguro is there next to him. He supposes it must be the same for Fushiguro, needing the contact to reassure him that it’s real.
He’s real.
They both are.
They’re alive.
January 25, 2019
I’ve been sleeping with in the same bed as Fushiguro. The first time it happened was an accident, on the same night that I first washed his hair. I don’t think either of us even knew that we fell asleep. I just remember waking up in the morning, and the laptop was still between us.
It was the first time I slept without a nightmare.
January 29, 2019
Kugisaki caught us sleeping together. She started teasing us and saying that “she called it.” When I explained to her the reason why though, she went silent. Then she asked if she could try it too. I think we’re going to have a sleepover tonight.
January 30, 2019
Trying to cram into a dorm bed is hard. We made it work, and Kugisaki said she had no nightmares either, but she’d rather sleep on her own than try and fit into a twin XL with us again. I guess I don’t blame her.
I just hope she finds something or someone that helps her feel safer too.
Does this mean that Fushiguro makes me feel safe?
February 15, 2019
We got assigned our first mission after the grace period. It’s just me and Fushiguro, and for some reason, I’m a little nervous.
Yuuji fidgets as he walks on a path through the woods, trying not to let his nerves eat him alive. He tells himself that it’s probably just because he hasn’t fought in so long, but it’s only a flimsy excuse for the fact that he’s only being like this because of his mission partner.
The truth is that he would not be acting like this if he was assigned this mission with Kugisaki, and he knows it. It’s meant to be a simple mission. A Grade 3 — maybe a 2. So, the idea that he’s nervous that he might lose is honestly so laughable that even he doesn’t believe it.
The only reason that he and Fushiguro are being sent on it together is because, apparently, it’s really hard to find. The higher ups expect Fushiguro to use Totality to track it, but they want Yuuji to be the one to exorcise it.
Apparently, they want to see what he can do with his two techniques.
The last reported sighting of the curse was somewhere in Kiyokawa. It’s a little more rural, just southwest of Saitama. It’s possible, however, that the curse could have moved even further into the country, and if that’s the case, then Yuuji and Fushiguro might have to prolong their mission.
The walk is silent, and they do little talking.
Totality lumbers before them, sniffing the ground as it walks. Fushiguro’s face is stone cold, void of emotion as he follows his shikigami. Yuuji has to wonder how he’s holding up, using his technique again for the first time in a month.
He wants to ask if he’s okay, but he’s scared of pushing too far. Yuuji and Fushiguro have this weird thing going on, where they sleep together at night but barely talk during the day. There are these little intimate moments that exist between them — Yuuji washing his hair, sharing a bed, sitting together during meals — but they never find the right words to speak to one another.
It all just goes on and on as they both try to put themselves together, wondering when it’s okay to cross the line.
“Itadori,” Fushiguro whispers.
Yuuji looks up, trying to shove his thoughts into the back of his mind. They’re on a mission, so he needs to be focused. When he looks at Fushiguro, he finds him staring ahead. Following his gaze, Yuuji sees Totality hunched low to the ground, growling at something in its path.
Just past it is a clearing, and, standing in the middle, is the curse. It’s grotesque, dragging itself along the ground, one, giant arm protruding from the top of its head. There seems to be no other limbs, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t fight back.
Yuuji’s preparing to use Blood Manipulation when he can already hear Fushiguro unsheathing a sword from his shadow.
“You take the lead,” Fushiguro says, letting Totality dissolve into the ground. “This is your assessment.”
Yuuji nods, turning back to the curse. The feeling of blood crawls across his skin, seeping to the points of his fingers as he stares down his target. It’s something that he had to get used to, but it’s almost soothing now. A reminder that he’s forever connected to the person who first taught him to wield it.
Even if he wasn’t a great teacher, Choso was the best teacher.
“Cover me?” Yuuji asks, swallowing as he prepares for the battle.
Fushiguro nods in his peripherals. “Always.”
February 16, 2019
Fushiguro is so cool. His technique is amazing, and he wields it so naturally and easily. He says that I’m impressive too, but I think he’s a lot better. Still, he let me land the final blow on the curse to appease the higher ups.
The more time I spend with him, the more nervous I get. It’s different when we sleep together. When we’re awake, I can’t focus around him.
February 19, 2019
Do I like Fushiguro?
February 24, 2019
We’re so tired all the time. There are so many curses. It feels like the world is overcorrecting with the loss of Gojo-sensei. Kusakabe-sensei says that he’s trying, but I don’t think he’s trying hard enough. These new higher ups have to get a grip. Half of them don’t even know what it’s like to have a cursed technique.
March 7, 2019
OKKOTSU IS 18!
Maybe things will finally start to change.
God, I hope so.
“That’s bullshit!” Yuuji yells, slamming his fist on the table. The action causes Kugisaki to jump, and he can see Fushiguro eyeing him from a couple of chairs down. The screen flickers, and Kusakabe and Okkotsu both remain silent as Yuuji continues on. “Just because we’re all Grade 1s here doesn’t mean that we can just take missions every day. We still have school. We’re still just kids!”
All he’s met with is silence, staring at the board. He doesn’t see a face. He never sees their faces.
The dark figures on the call remain in their places, unphased by his rage.
This is how they do meetings now. Kusakabe and Okkotsu sit on a call with world representatives like a virtual UN, along with Gakuganji and some of the students, if they’re allowed.
Yuuji is surprised that he’s still allowed.
“From our understanding, there are massive reports of curses everywhere,” one of the higher ups says. Yuuji never bothers to learn their names. “Japan has the most sorcerers. Japan should send the most help.”
“Japan has the most sorcerers because Japan has the most curses,” Okkotsu argues politely. Always diplomatic, always the mediator.
“And from my understanding,” Kusakabe interjects, “There are curse users all over the world. Perhaps, if you gave them a reason to train and become sorcerers, rather than try to use their techniques to exploit non-sorcerers, then you could have more people helping you out. But asking Japan to bear the world’s weight on its shoulders is a little far-fetched, in my opinion.”
There’s a tense silence that cuts across the room as his words sink in. Kusakabe practically told the entire world that it’s not doing enough.
“We will help you with getting sorcerers,” Okkotsu says. “We’ve been recruiting to the best of our ability, and we are willing to accept new students, but we have to work together on this.”
At that, Yuuji scoffs.
A couple of heads turn, but no one says anything more.
March 15, 2019
I stormed out of another stupid meeting today. Fushiguro followed me out this time, and we just talked for a while up in the mountains. He tells me that we just need to wait it out until Okkotsu is able to do more, then things will start to change.
Fushiguro’s always been so thoughtful and calculating. I guess it makes sense. I’m just sick of taking their orders.
March 20, 2019
Happy birthday to me.
I don’t feel 16. I feel a lot older. Fushiguro says that he feels the same way and that it’s normal, but I think our perception of age is skewed. We’ve both been doing better though. I think. We sleep better. I like being around him. I just wish that the school didn’t overwork us.
We’re not machines.
Yuuji stares at the page, trying to decide if he should write more. If he wanted, he could go into detail about all the things that the higher ups have done lately to piss him off, but it is his birthday, after all, and he should probably be in a cheerier mood.
“Itadori, come on!”
Kugisaki’s voice calls out to him from the hall. She’s probably come from the common area, where he knows everyone is waiting. He meant to be done with writing sooner, but he had a mission earlier in the day that put off all of his plans.
Whatever.
Yuuji stands, stretching towards the ceiling. He carefully places his notebook back into his desk and grabs a hoodie off of the back of his chair.
The walk through the hall is silent. Wherever Kugisaki was, she didn’t bother to wait for him. That’s fine, he supposes, considering how exhausted he is right now. He’s not really in the mood for a party, and he would much rather spend his evening in bed with a movie, but this is something that she wanted to do for him, and he’s sure that he’d be a lot more excited for it if he didn’t drain all of his cursed energy a few hours prior.
“Surprise!”
When he reaches the common room, he still can’t help but smile a little. People stand around — Fushiguro, Kugisaki, Maki, Inumaki, Okkotsu, Todo, and so many more. There’s a cake, a bit lopsided with uneven icing, sitting on the table, along with snacks and finger foods. There’s music playing from a speaker somewhere, and drinks are set out next to the food.
Kugisaki wears a party hat, and she’s somehow managed to convince Fushiguro to have one, too. She stands before Yuuji, holding a third party hat, with a smile on her face.
“I know it wasn’t really a surprise, but it’s the principle of the matter,” she says, placing the hat on his head.
Yuuji adjusts it, smiling down at her. “Thanks, Kugisaki.”
Fushiguro is by his side soon, too. He doesn’t wish Yuuji a happy birthday, because he had already done so that morning, but he still offers a small smile and his company, and that’s all that Yuuji really wants from him anyway.
It’s been about three months since everything that happened, and Yuuji supposes that they’re finally starting to find some sort of semblance of normal. They’re not quite there yet, but they’re closer every day.
Yuuji floats through the party, not quite himself but trying to be. He talks to Hakari and Kirara, he arm wrestles with Todo, he ignores Maki and Kugisaki hunched together in the corner, in their own little world.
He stays near Fushiguro the entire time. It’s become a normal practice for the two of them, and it’s just easier to be around him. There’s a part of him that wants to explore the meaning of that, and he’s sure that it goes way deeper than two friends who are trying to heal together, but, God, Yuuji never has enough time. All he has are fleeting nights next to Fushiguro and the brief conversations with him in passing between classes and training and missions.
Yuuji is so tired.
His heart aches, and he feels like he’s barely been put back together. It’s like someone just slapped a bit of tape across a million little cracks, hoping that it would be enough to hold him together. He’s so tired. Kugisaki is tired. Fushiguro is tired. Okkotsu is tired. Everyone is exhausted, but the world keeps spinning and no one’s eager to sign up to be a sorcerer.
Soon, someone decides it’s time to cut the cake. They go through the process of lighting the candles and singing to Yuuji. Kugisaki proudly declares that she’s the one who made the cake but blames Fushiguro for its shoddy icing job. Fushiguro only scowls but doesn’t say anything more.
It’s funny enough that Yuuji does find himself smiling, and he quickly pulls the two of them over to him, asking that they get a picture with the cake before they cut it. He wraps his arms around both of his best friends, holding them a bit closer than necessary, and the three of them smile, pointing at the cake, as Todo takes the picture.
After everyone has gotten their slice, Kugisaki pulls both Yuuji and Fushiguro into a hug. She squeezes them tight and whispers, “You don’t have to stick around. I can tell you’re not feeling it.”
When she pulls away, she smiles at them and jerks her head to the door. Yuuji looks at Fushiguro for an opinion, but Fushiguro only shrugs and nods. There’s a silent conversation that happens, but, eventually, they both agree.
They’d rather be alone together.
As they both start to leave, Kugisaki grabs Fushiguro’s hand. He turns to look at her, and she gives him a squeeze and says, “Give him his present from us,” before letting go and turning to look for Maki.
Sneaking out is easier than Yuuji would have thought. Everyone’s too busy laughing with each other and talking to really notice him and Fushiguro leave, despite the fact that he’s the guest of honor. They make their way to the dorms, walking in silence. Along the way, Fushiguro removes his party hat and places it on top of Yuuji’s.
“Hey,” Yuuji fake-protests, chuckling.
“Two hats are better than one,” is all Fushiguro says.
Yuuji chuckles, reaching up. “Then you take them.”
“No, you look better in them.”
Yuuji is in the process of removing the hats from his head when Fushiguro says it. He stops, a little taken aback, and turns to look at his friend. Fushiguro is looking ahead as they walk, but it’s too dark to see his face. They share a small moment of silence before Yuuji clears his throat and breaks it.
“So, Kugisaki said I get a present?” he asks just as they approach their rooms.
Fushiguro nods, stopping at his door. “Come on.”
Yuuji follows him inside, stepping into the familiar space of Fushiguro’s dorm. It’s neat, as always. A lot neater than Yuuji’s has ever been. One would think that this is the dorm of someone who has their life together, but he can also see the small cracks in the plaster.
Fushiguro’s room used to be neat and nice.
It was always clean, and everything had a place. There was never anything where it wasn’t meant to be, other than maybe a messy bed, but it’s always been nice. Now, it’s just neat. A couple of jackets hang off the back of his desk chair, papers are strewn across his desk, his bookshelf has dust coated along its surfaces, and the bed is always messy.
It’s still a lot cleaner than Yuuji’s could ever be, but it’s different.
It’s not nice.
Still, he’s used to the sight. He and Fushiguro often switch back and forth between their rooms when they sleep together. Sometimes, it just depends on who’s turned in for the night first. Yuuji walks the familiar path from the door to the bed and falls onto it with practiced familiarity.
“I hope you guys didn’t get me anything nice,” he says, staring up at the ceiling. “We all promised we wouldn’t do that.”
“It’s not that,” Fushiguro replies from across the room. “It’s just something we thought you might like.”
Yuuji only hums, still staring at the ceiling.
Even though he had a shit start to the day, this is the first time that he’s felt calm in a while. Maybe it was seeing everyone gathered together, or maybe it’s the fact that he’s in Fushiguro’s room, ready to settle down for the night, but he takes a breath, and it finally feels like he’s breathing properly again.
He hears the shuffling of footsteps drawing nearer and lifts his head. Fushiguro stands over him with a small, wrapped gift, and holds it out. Yuuji sits up, slowly taking it from his hand, and stares at his friend.
“Which one of you wrapped this?” he asks jokingly.
Fushiguro huffs and looks away. “I did. Kugisaki may have said I did the poor icing job, but it was really her lack of coordination that caused that disaster. Tengen, she’s such a liar.”
Yuuji can’t help the small laugh that escapes him, shaking his head as he pats the bed next to him. Fushiguro takes the hint and sits down, and neither of them say anything when their legs brush together.
“So, what is it?” Yuuji asks, inspecting the present.
“You could open it and find out,” Fushiguro replies plainly.
“That’s no fun,” Yuuji mumbles, but he starts unwrapping it anyway.
The present is small and light, a thin rectangular shape that he can hold easily with one hand. He peels back the wrapping and sees a light, pink color and looks to his friend with a raised eyebrow.
“Kugisaki picked it to match your hair,” is the only explanation he’s given.
Yuuji only laughs and shakes his head. When the entire gift is unwrapped, he finds himself looking at a black journal, outlined in pink. It’s plain, with a small ribbon attached to the spine. Yuuji turns it over in his hands, looking at it, and then opens the cover.
On the first page, under the This journal belongs to line, two notes are written in pen:
Happy birthday, dumbass.
We see you writing in that old notebook you’ve had since November and thought maybe we could get you something nicer to keep ahold of. I don’t know what you put in there, but you’ve been writing in it a lot. I hope this helps.
Happy Birthday, Itadori.
Thank you.
Yuuji stares at the writing, the familiar kanji of his two best friends. It’s such a simple gift, plain and unassuming, just like the three of them decided to get each other for their birthdays. But at the same time, tears well in his eyes, and he has to fight the urge to cry because it’s just so thoughtful.
“Why are you saying thank you to me?” Yuuji asks, ignoring the crack in his voice as he tries to lighten the mood.
Fushiguro doesn’t say anything for a moment, but his presence still feels close. Yuuji turns to look at him and finds him staring at his lap.
“Hey,” Yuuji whispers, lightly nudging him with his shoulder.
Fushiguro slowly raises his head, looking him in the eye. His eyes are so intense, piercing and analytical. But, for once, he looks vulnerable. Fushiguro’s voice is barely a whisper as he says, “Because I wouldn’t be here to give you this gift, if it weren’t for you.”
And all Yuuji knows is that he wants to kiss him.
He should have kissed him.
April 5, 2019
This journal is really nice. I’ve been using it just about every day.
Things have started picking up.
Okkotsu is the acting clan head for the Gojo clan, and Fushiguro has started working with Maki to reinstate the Zen’ins. Fushiguro was asked to move into the Zen’in estate, but he declined. He never said why, but I think I might know.
May 23, 2019
There have been talks of the Kyoto school getting new students. Todo told me that he’ll be training a first-year. Apparently, the board wants Tokyo to be doing the same thing. I think once we get the students, I’ll be expected to help teach them because we’re so short-staffed.
June 14, 2019
Kugisaki asked to read my journal. Figures. I don’t want her reading the old one, but I didn’t care that she read this one. She just flipped through all my entries and told me that I was pathetic. She asked me why I talked about Fushiguro nearly every day but still haven’t confessed to him.
I told her I’m not trying to think about that, and I don’t want to mess anything up.
July 3, 2019
The politicians in the higher ups want us to find curse users and either apprehend them or enroll them into school. I told them that would be an impossible task with our numbers, and that it puts a lot of people’s lives in danger with all the fighting.
They said they don’t care.
July 20, 2019
I’m so fucking sick of this Fushiguro and I are going on a mission to find two kids who were reported to have cursed techniques. Not curse users. Apparently, their techniques developed later than expected, and their parents contacted the school.
The higher ups wanted to arrest them.
I told them if they hurt these kids in any way, they would have to go through me. Kugisaki says I have a target on my back now.
I don’t care.
July 29, 2019
Oikado Hitori and Oikado Sora.
They’re 14 and 15. Sora is the older one. We don’t even know what their techniques are, but they’re so young and scared. They’re supposed to enroll right away, but Fushiguro and I are going to do all that we can to make sure that they’re comfortable and settled first.
“Hey,” Yuuji says, knocking on the open door to Sora’s room. She stands in front of her wardrobe, unpacking, and jumps a bit at his voice. “How you holding up?”
“It’s a little weird,” she admits, relaxing once she realizes it’s just him. “I’m not used to not sharing a room with my brother.”
Yuuji smiles and chuckles. “Yeah, but he’s still nearby. He’ll be in the same hall as me and Fushiguro.”
“He’s lucky for that,” Sora replies, a bit glum. “He gets to be two doors down from you two. I have to walk across the building to hang out with you all.”
She goes back to folding her clothes and placing them neatly in the dresser.
“You have Kugisaki to keep you company,” Yuuji offers. “And Maki.”
Sora glances around for a moment, as if someone might be listening in. She drops a shirt and walks over to Yuuji, her green eyes wide.
He leans down to listen to her.
“They scare me,” she whispers.
The admission causes Yuuji to laugh, crossing his arms. Sora frowns and hits his shoulder, but it doesn’t even hurt. Her face is a deep red, and when she turns back to the room, her ponytail flips, brown hair swishing through the air
“Trust me, they’re not scary at all,” he says. She turns to him, holding the shirt she dropped earlier, and raises an eyebrow. “Well, maybe Maki is, but that’s only when she’s fighting.”
At that, Sora smiles, and she continues folding her clothes. “I’ll try to talk to them. I’m just a little intimidated.”
“It’s scary coming to a new place like this,” Yuuji agrees, kicking his foot absentmindedly against the floor. “I didn’t know what I was getting into when I came here.”
“You mean you didn’t know about this before?” she asks, eyes widening.
“I didn’t even know about sorcery.”
“I thought you were like Fushiguro-sensei.”
Yuuji shakes his head and holds up his hand. “You don’t have to call us ‘sensei.’ And, no, he was actually the one who told me about curses. Just last year.”
Sora’s jaw drops, and her voice is incredulous as she asks, “Last year?”
Nodding, Yuuji gestures to her room, asking if he can come in. She points to her desk chair, inviting him inside, and he makes his way over to sit down.
“I can tell you about how we met, if you want to know,” he offers.
Sora nods, staring at him with wide eyes, ready for the story. Yuuji sighs, thinking back last June, and starts.
“Wait!” she says, grabbing her phone. “Let me tell Hitori. He’ll want to know, too.”
At that, Yuuji laughs, and decides to send a message to Fushiguro, as well. Sora agrees excitedly, wanting to know about the two of them and what it was like when they first got to Jujutsu Tech. When Fushiguro and Hitori arrive, they all sit together in her room.
Hitori and Sora are on the bed, huddled next to one another, and Fushiguro sits in the desk chair that Yuuji was in, while Yuuji sits on the floor, holding a pillow. He and Fushiguro trade on telling the story, keeping it more lighthearted than their first meeting really was.
And, for once, Yuuji finds himself smiling a lot like he used to.
Sitting there on the floor of Sora’s bedroom, talking about the day he met Fushiguro, the person that he can’t help but feel his heart ache for, it almost feels normal. They talk until the first-years fall asleep, curled up next to one another.
As Yuuji and Fushiguro make their way back to their rooms, it dawns on Yuuji that this is the first time in a long time that he’s smiled more than he’s scowled.
August 7, 2019
It’s Kugisaki’s birthday. The new first-years are settling in okay. We’re going to have a party with them to make sure that they feel welcome. Kugisaki said that she only wanted one thing for her present, but she hasn’t told me or Fushiguro what she wanted yet.
I’m going to take Sora and Hitori out to the city to find something if she doesn’t tell us soon.
Yuuji falls back onto his bed, sighing.
He’s tired, but that’s what he gets for taking two first-years to the city and telling them to “go crazy.” Sora and Hitori had fun, though, so he can’t be too upset, even if his trip to the metro was a bust.
Kugisaki had seen his location and texted him, telling him not to buy her anything while he was out. How she knew that that’s what he was doing, he’ll never be able to guess, but he listened to her and refrained from buying a gift card to her favorite shop or makeup from a new line that she had been gushing about.
“Tengen, you look like shit,” Fushiguro says, walking into his room.
“Sora and Hitori just about ran me dry in the city,” Yuuji replies, sighing as he sinks further into his pillow, eyes closed. “I’ll be good to join the party here in a minute. I just need to rest.”
Fushiguro hums and joins him on the bed. “You look like you’re about to fall asleep.”
“Nope, I’m all good here.”
The truth is that Yuuji could not fall asleep right now even if he wanted to, even if it feels like he just completed two back-to-back missions. Recently, the more time he’s spent with Fushiguro, the more his heart races pathetically in his chest, like it’s trying to burst through his flesh and put itself right in Fushiguro’s hands. It’s different when they sleep together, like they exist in their own world, in their own time.
But during the day, Yuuji’s a mess.
“Come on, Itadori,” Fushiguro says, nudging his leg with his own. “We have to give Kugisaki her present.”
At that, Yuuji’s eyes shoot open, and he sits up in a panic. “What? I thought we weren’t supposed to get her anything!”
Fushiguro sits up, too, rolling his eyes. “We weren’t. She said we already had it and that we just needed to give it to her.”
Yuuji raises an eyebrow and watches as his friend stands and stretches, trying not to stare. “I’m confused.”
Fushiguro gives him a look that feels a little too similar to the one he gives when Yuuji says something stupid and replies, “I know. Come on.”
Yuuji sighs as he walks out to the common room. He can already hear the laughter and the chatter from people before he even has to open the door. When he and Fushiguro step inside, Kugisaki is on the couch next to Maki, laughing and smiling like she’s just won the lottery, and Yuuji doesn’t know why until he sees that Maki’s arm is around her shoulders.
Whenever her eyes land on his, however, she quickly stands and runs over to them.
“Finally!” she says, placing a party hat on both of their heads. “No one would let me see the cake until you got here, Itadori.”
“Happy birthday, Kugisaki,” Fushiguro says, allowing her to give him a brief hug. “I brought him. Just like you said to.”
Yuuji adjusts the hat on his head and furrows his brows. “The party just started, Kugisaki. You act like I’m an hour late.”
“You’re late. Period,” she retorts, hands on her hips. “The first-years said you took them to the city.”
“You already knew that,” he replies. “That’s why you texted me not to get you anything.”
Yuuji quickly searches the room and finds the two first-years by the table, going through the snacks and pouring themselves drinks. They seem to be laughing at something that Inumaki is doing, but it’s hard to tell from the distance what kind of prank he might be scheming.
“I didn’t know you were with Sora and Hitori, though,” Kugisaki clarifies, looking back at them, too. “They got me gifts while they were out.”
Yuuji laughs, shaking his head. “Well, they used my money, so, technically, it’s from me. Sorry for breaking your rule.”
Kugisaki only waves her hand flippantly.
“You said we already got you a gift,” Fushiguro says. “What did you mean by that?”
Turning back to the two of them, Kugisaki beams.
She looks happier than Yuuji’s ever seen her since she first woke back up. Her eye shines, and she doesn’t seem to be as self-conscious about her eyepatch now. He notices that she’s been growing her hair out, too, and it now sits just past her shoulders, swept to the side in a ponytail.
“I want something for all of us,” Kugisaki says. “You can say no, but I really want it, okay?”
Yuuji blinks a couple of times, and Fushiguro crosses his arms. They both share a look as Fushiguro’s brows furrow, and Yuuji slowly replies, “Okay?”
“I’m serious.” She takes both of their hands in hers, and she makes sure that they’re looking at her when she asks, “Can we start using our given names? Please?”
It takes Yuuji by surprise. He wasn’t sure what it was that Kugisaki wanted for her birthday, and he was even more confused when Fushiguro told him that they already had their gift for her, but he didn’t think that it would be something so… personal?
Fushiguro doesn’t say anything, only holding Kugisaki’s hand, and she squeezes them both as she looks back and forth between the two of them.
“You don’t have to, if you’re not comfortable,” she continues. “But I just feel like after everything, like… I want you to call me Nobara. Okay?”
She locks eyes with Yuuji, round and pleading. This has to be something that means a lot to her. He wonders how long she’s thought about this, how long she’s considered them Yuuji and Megumi, rather than Itadori and Fushiguro.
“Okay,” he replies with a soft smile, then adds on, “Nobara.”
He can see the hint of a smile on her lips as he says it, and she hesitates for a moment before she says, “Yuuji?”
Yuuji’s smile widens at his name, and he nods and squeezes her hand. When they both turn to Fushiguro, there’s a small blush dusting his cheeks. His eyes are soft, however, and he turns to Nobara and says, “You can call me Megumi. Nobara.” Then he turns to Yuuji. “You, too.”
“Megumi,” Yuuji says for the first time, and it feels foreign on his tongue.
But it’s not bad.
He can barely fight his widening smile as he repeats the name over and over in his mind. Megumi, Megumi, Megumi…
“Yuuji,” Megumi replies, and it’s the best thing that Yuuji has ever heard. It never occurred to him that hearing his name could be so beautiful, but the way that Megumi says it, it’s like listening to a symphony.
“Megumi,” Nobara says, finalizing their decision. Then, she jumps in place, smiling, and pulls them both in for a hug. They all wrap their arms around each other, breathing in the scent of one another, as she whispers, “I love you both. So much.”
August 28, 2019
Sora and Hitori are advancing so fast. Their techniques complement each other well too. To the point where they are almost exclusively trained as a pair. This means that Megumi and I are always working together.
Sora has the ability to create little needles with her technique and use them in a way that’s similar to Nobara’s nails. She can manipulate the size of the needles, and they have the ability to turn cursed energy into poison. It’s great for distance combat fighting, and I can’t wait to explore more of her technique.
Hitori can weave threads of cursed energy, using them like ropes and webs. They’re so hard to see. When he uses it right, he can create a massive web that catches a target with ease. They can also cut, which means I’ve had to use my RCT a bit when fighting with him. He says it was an accident, but I told him that he doesn’t have to worry about hurting me.
When they fight together, they could easily capture and kill a curse without even having to get close to it.
“Are you an idiot?” Megumi hisses, staring at Kusakabe. “Yuuji and I are Grade 1 sorcerers. Meaning that we fight Grade 1 or lower curses. You want us to take Sora and Hitori with us on missions to shadow? Tengen, they’re Grade 3. Are you stupid?”
“I know exactly how the grade system works and what grade the first-years are,” Kusakabe grits back. “However, this isn’t my decision. This is just something that has been proposed to the board, and I wanted to let you know in advance.”
“Well, tell them to veto it,” Megumi demands. “Yuuji and I are their instructors. I say this is dangerous for them. Tell them that.”
Kusakabe sighs and turns to Yuuji. “Well?”
Yuuji clenches his jaw and swallows. “I think they need more training before they start going on missions that puts them in front of a curse higher than their grade. We don’t need a repeat of the detention center. Or Yasohachi Bridge. Or any other time that the board has tried to k—”
“Enough. I get it,” Kusakabe says.
“There are better ways for them to shadow missions and fight curses,” Megumi presses on. “Why is this idea even being entertained?”
Kusakabe hums but doesn’t reply. Instead, he only nods and jots down a couple of notes on a piece of paper. “Thank you both. I’ll be sure to tell them your thoughts.”
Yuuji clenches his jaw.
“Tell them that I’m working towards my next subjugation ritual,” Megumi interjects, pointing at the paper. “I’ll take more missions, if their concern is lack of numbers, once I tame Round Deer.”
Yuuji turns to his friend and starts to protest. “Megumi—”
“Tell them, Kusakabe-sensei.”
Kusakabe only sighs and shakes his head, but he writes it down, too. “I’ll try. You’re dismissed. Go on back to training.”
September 4, 2019
Megumi’s been training more than ever. I keep trying to get him to slow down, but he says he’s doing this for Sora and Hitori. He’s already tried to start the ritual to tame Round Deer once, and I had to step in and stop him. He’s not ready. I can tell. I don’t want him pushing himself.
September 22, 2019
The first-years went on their first mission today. They went with Inumaki and apparently did really well. Inumaki reported that they fought well and communicated properly. Apparently their techniques, now named Poison Fang and Charlotte’s Web, really do work as a pair. The board is impressed, but I’m worried that this means they might get promoted prematurely.
October 31, 2019
It’s been one year.
God, has it only been a year?
We all got the day off today. The first-years were happy to learn that Halloween is a holiday for the school. I didn’t bother telling them the real reason. They know about Shibuya, of course, but I’ll let them think that we’ve always gotten the 31st off.
Yuuji, Nobara, and Megumi stand before the vacant crater where an entire city block once stood. More than a block, actually, it stretches for meters and meters, with tape sectioning it off from the world, as if the flimsy, yellow strand could stop a person from seeing the devastation.
Nobara clings to Yuuji’s arm, holding him close as she stares at it with her one good eye. He’s not sure if she ever outright saw all the devastation that Sukuna brought to Shibuya, but he remembers it clearly, as if he did it himself.
Megumi stands on the other side of him, silent and still. He didn’t have to see it. This is his first time truly taking in the massive dent in the world that Sukuna left here, and Yuuji wonders if this is how he would feel if they were standing before Shinjuku.
They don’t speak to one another. They just stare.
Somewhere, in the mountains of Tokyo, the first-years are with Maki, Inumaki, and Okkotsu celebrating Halloween. But, here, in Shibuya, Yuuji, Nobara, and Megumi stand close, holding one another, as they remember the day that ended their lives.
November 6, 2019
Megumi keeps fighting. He’s training more than ever, and he seems angrier than ever. He’s so mad at the higher ups and the board, and I’m right there with him, but I’m worried.
He comes to bed so late.
Tengen, I feel like a housewife.
God, I’m even starting to use “Tengen” like him.
November 17, 2019
Ieiri-san had to treat Megumi’s arm today because he overexerted himself while fighting with Maki. She didn’t mean to hurt him, but I think he’s pushing his limits. When I tried to ask what was wrong, he just brushed it off and said he was fine.
December 7, 2019
I thought things were getting better. Megumi and I sleep better, he’s been eating better, the first-years cheer us up and make us laugh and smile. But Megumi has started training in secret, like he knows it’s going to make me upset. It does. I don’t want him to hurt himself.
If this is because of the proposal to have them shadow us on dangerous missions so they can fight sooner, this isn’t the way.
December 21, 2019
Megumi’s birthday is tomorrow. I’m worried about him, but I don’t know what to do.
I’m going to I hope my present is good.
Yuuji nervously drums his fingers against the side of his leg as he sits next to Megumi, wearing the same old party hat that they’ve been reusing since his sixteenth birthday. Nobara sits on the other side of Megumi, her arm around his shoulders, smiling at the camera as they take a photo together like they’ve always done.
Sora smiles behind the camera as the light flashes, then she checks the picture and squeals. “It’s so cute!”
Nobara reaches for her phone to look at the photo, smiling and showing it to Yuuji and Megumi. Megumi looks at it and nods, while Yuuji smiles and gives a thumbs up.
“Okay, birthday boy,” Nobara says, pocketing her phone. “Go sneak off.” She looks at Yuuji and adds, “You, too.”
“How do you know we want to sneak off?” Yuuji asks, cutting himself a slice of cake.
“You always want to sneak off after the cake is cut,” she replies, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Go on. You can come back later, if you want.”
Megumi looks at Yuuji for some sort of answer. The truth is that Yuuji was wanting to stay for the party, because Sora had asked him to, but he also needs to talk to Megumi in private.
“We’ll come back,” he assures, still looking at Megumi.
“I’m sure,” is all Nobara says, before she takes the cake from his hands.
Megumi only nods in response, and they both stand to leave.
Yuuji quickly scans the room and sees that Sora is talking to Maki, while Hitori is getting a drink to go with his cake. They’ve both started to really find their place here, becoming stronger in their techniques and combat skills. The other students love them, always praising their abilities and the hard work that they put into growing as sorcerers.
Yuuji is proud to say that he’s been a part of that, and while he mainly trains Sora and Megumi mainly trains Hitori, they both have found an attachment to the pair.
Sneaking out is still easier than ever, however, and both Yuuji and Megumi start to make their way to the dorms. His heart races as they move through the school. Megumi wordlessly follows him, and Yuuji can feel his mouth drying when he reaches his door. Stepping aside, he allows Megumi to enter first before shutting the door and swallowing the lump in his throat.
He’s terrified of what’s about to happen. Yuuji is only moments away from ruining everything, and he’s scared that Megumi is just going to curse him and leave him alone for the evening — maybe even his life.
When they step inside, he’s reminded of his anxiety. Yuuji’s room is cleaner than normal. He spent a good chunk of the day just cleaning and keeping himself busy as he tried to talk to himself about the pros and cons of what he’s about to do.
Over the last several months, it’s been eating Yuuji alive. He cares about Megumi. So much. It’s been killing him, watching the way that he suffers in his own silence, pushing himself to his breaking point, trying to get stronger in order to protect Sora and Hitori.
Yuuji understands his concerns, and he has them, too.
But… he can’t take it anymore.
He hates the higher ups. He hates the board. He hates Kusakabe and his weak attempts to protect them, and he hates the way that the world expects them to just clean up after Sukuna’s and Kenjaku’s mess, as if they haven’t been trying to do that for the last year.
Worst of all, he hates himself.
Yuuji hates that, in the middle of all of this mess, all of the chaos and the attempts to find their footing once more, he had to go and fall in love with the one person that grounds him.
It had to be Megumi. It’s probably been Megumi, and it was only within the last year that he’s realized it. Though, it’s not like he’s had a lot of time to explore his emotions that way.
They’re so… broken.
Yuuji can’t sleep in a bed without Megumi without having nightmares. The kinds of nightmares that are worse than death as Sukuna’s voice taunts him like he never left his head. He always has to be near him. He has to be reminded that they’re both safe.
Megumi is his best friend, and Yuuji risks ruining it all by loving him with his whole heart.
“Happy birthday,” Yuuji says as he walks over to his desk. He tries not to think too hard about all the concerns swimming in his mind. Instead, he focuses on the task at hand: telling Megumi the truth.
“Thanks,” Megumi replies, taking a seat on his bed. “Did you get me a gift? Is that why we’re here?”
“Something like that,” Yuuji answers, trying to keep his voice steady. He stares at the top drawer of his desk and continues, “It’s not really anything special.”
“I’m sure I’ll love it anyway,” is all he hears in response.
Tengen, I hope so.
Slowly, Yuuji opens the drawer.
Sitting in the back of it is an old, tattered notebook. One that he’s held onto for over a year. Megumi has seen him write in it, he knows what Yuuji uses it for, but no one’s ever looked at it. No one has ever been allowed to read it before, and Yuuji didn’t think he would ever trust someone enough for that.
But it’s different with Megumi.
He trusts him with his heart, and this old notebook is basically that — all of his emotions, all of his thoughts and his feelings, they’re real and printed onto the pages of this book. It’s his heart that he’s about to give to Megumi, and he’s going to start with his first journal.
Yuuji can feel Megumi’s eyes on him as he stares into the drawer, still teetering on the edge of should he or shouldn’t he. He has to tell himself that it’s okay, that he can do this. All Yuuji needs to do is be honest and hope that it’s enough for Megumi to see that he can’t keep going like this. That he cares too much. All of the training, all of the late nights, all of the fighting and the trips to Ieiri, Megumi can’t keep doing that.
Yuuji can’t keep watching it.
Eventually, he takes a deep breath and sighs it out, reaching into the drawer and holding onto the journal like it’s his lifeline. When he picks it up and turns back to bed, Megumi’s eyes are on the book in an instance.
The thing about Megumi is that he’s smart. He always has been. Yuuji can spend his life trying to play catch up with Megumi’s brain, and he knows that he’ll never even get close. The moment that Megumi sees the journal in his hands, the gears start turning, and it doesn’t take long for him to realize what’s happening. Yuuji might have started using the new journal he was gifted for his birthday, but Megumi knows the old one when he sees it.
“Yuuji—”
“Please,” Yuuji says, walking over to the bed. Even though they’re in his room, and this is his bed, he still looks at Megumi, asking for permission to sit.
Megumi gestures to the spot next to him and nods, shifting closer as Yuuji takes his seat. They’re flush against one another, like they always are when they’re together, and Yuuji has to calm his racing heart.
“This isn’t really a gift,” he starts, turning the notebook over in his hands. He traces the torn cover with his left hand, staring at his missing fingers. “It’s just… I want you to read it.”
It’s silent as he stares down at it. He looks at the water-damaged pages and the tears and holes throughout the book, thinking of all that it went through before he came across it. As he examines the journal, he finds himself relating to it. It may mirror his heart with the words on the pages, but it once mirrored his soul too — broken beyond repair, filled with scars and blemishes, weathered by the elements.
Yuuji stares at the notebook, and he sees himself.
“I want you to have this.”
Megumi is still silent but unmoving. In the corner of his eyes, Yuuji can see him clenching and unclenching his fists in his lap, surely looking at either him or the book.
“Why?”
It’s so quiet, Yuuji almost misses it. When he turns to Megumi, he finds him already staring back at him, staring into his soul. Megumi’s eyes flicker back and forth, searching for something that Yuuji has been too scared to give before, too scared to say before.
Yuuji sets the notebook down in his lap, turning to Megumi so that he’s fully facing him. A part of him is terrified for this next part, but he’s out of options. This is him being raw. Honest. He needs Megumi to hear what he says and listen to him.
“You’re killing yourself, Megumi,” Yuuji says, and his voice breaks. He swallows and curls his hand into the cover of his bed and tries to continue. “I— I see you killing yourself. You’re overworking yourself. You’re hurting yourself, and I know it’s for Hitori and Sora, but—”
Megumi breaks from his gaze and looks down at his lap.
“—it’s killing me seeing you do that.”
Yuuji stares at his friend, at his best friend, at the person he loves, and he tries not to let his emotions get in the way of his words. Megumi doesn’t say anything, still only staring.
“Megumi… I can’t keep seeing you do that. I l—” Yuuji sucks in a sharp breath. “Please, read this.”
He picks up the notebook from his lap and gently sets it over Megumi’s hands, which grip the fabric of his pants. Megumi doesn’t react at first, still staring, and the walls that he’s put up are far too high for Yuuji to climb.
“If you just read this,” Yuuji starts. “I think you will understand.”
They both sit there, silent and unmoving. Yuuji stares at Megumi, unsure of what to do next. He’s scared of saying anything more, and he doesn’t want to do anything that might cause him to leave. Distantly, he can hear cheering from the common area, and he hates that he’s taken a day like Megumi’s birthday and made it all about him.
Still, this is important.
“Please, Megumi,” he tries again. “Just read it, at least.”
Megumi turns to look at him, his eyes glassy. Even in the shitty dorm lighting, they’re the most beautiful green that Yuuji’s ever seen, and he hates that he’s made them look so sad. He wants to reach out and hold his face, hold him close, and tell him that it’s okay.
Megumi blinks and turns back to the journal. Slowly, he reaches for it, holding the book like it might fall apart. Honestly, at this point, Yuuji is surprised that it hasn’t already. He watches as Megumi turns it over in his hands, slowly carding through the pages. A lot of them are either empty or damaged, but the ones that Yuuji’s written on, Megumi pauses.
No one speaks as he looks through the book, reading the entries and taking everything in. He starts at the beginning, right on the date of November seventeenth, and Yuuji can see it in the way that his shoulders tense that Megumi knows what that date means for both of them.
He remembers finding the notebook, stumbling across it as he searched through an old, dilapidated building for more supplies for everyone else. It was the first time in a long time that he felt completely alone, and the idea that Megumi was no longer with him killed him with every passing moment.
As he watches Megumi flip through it now, Yuuji feels both anxious and relieved. Anyone could read that and know that he cares, but only Megumi would be able to understand the significance of every stolen moment from November to January, every word on the page, and truly know what it means.
He pauses on a page, still in early February, staring at the entries as he asks, “You wanted me to see this?”
Yuuji looks at him and nods, feeling his pulse racing throughout his entire body. He’s laying himself completely bare to Megumi, scared of ruining everything that they’ve ever had, but he needs him to know just how much he means to him when he begs him to stop.
“Please, Megumi,” he starts, his voice low and broken. “I want you to take care of yourself. You can’t keep doing this.”
Megumi’s grip tightens on the book, his eyes still fixated on the pages. “What about the first-years?”
“We’ll protect them,” Yuuji promises. “We will, but it has to be the right way. It can’t be through you pushing yourself past your limits.”
He’s asking, pleading, begging for Megumi to understand that he can’t see him crumble like this. Not after everything that they’ve been through. Nobara may think that he’s just working extra hard, but Yuuji sees through the cracks in his mask.
Megumi is working himself to death.
“Why do you care so much?”
Yuuji can’t help the laugh that escapes him, but his nerves are so shot that he can barely think about the implications. It’s an incredulous laugh, one of genuine shock and confusion. Megumi turns to look at him with a scowl on his face, brows furrowed, and glares.
“Megumi,” Yuuji starts, meeting his gaze. “You really don’t see it?”
They’re so close. Their faces are only inches apart, and they’re sitting flush on his bed. Megumi is smart. He’s smarter than anyone that Yuuji has ever known. It doesn’t take a genius to figure this out, though.
Still, he only stares at Yuuji, waiting for… something.
Well, it’s easier to admit this way, Yuuji thinks.
He and Megumi look at each other in complete silence as he tries to map the stars in his eyes, looking for an answer in the constellations of the little flecks of gold that speckle his irises. Gold and green and blue, like the colors of royalty. Yuuji stares at the most precious thing in the world, and he finds that he has no problem finally saying the words, “I love you.”
Megumi only stares. His eyes widen ever so slightly, and Yuuji can tell that it’s not what he expected. But how can he not know? How has it been nearly a year, and he doesn’t know?
“Megumi,” Yuuji starts, placing his hand over the book. His fingers brush against Megumi’s, but the contact never breaks. “I can’t keep seeing you do this to yourself.”
They’re still only staring. Megumi’s still not talking, trying to take everything in, and Yuuji is finding his heart slowly sinking down to his stomach. Still, it’s the truth, and he needed him to know before it killed him.
“I love you,” he says again, pressing into the notebook with his hand. “I just want you to be safe.”
It’s out now, and he can’t take it back. Yuuji doesn’t want to, but it’s daunting, knowing that he’s poured his heart out to his best friend on the night of his seventeenth birthday. He had to do this, though. It needed to be done. If he had to go another day seeing Megumi crawl into bed, with scars and bruises and cuts, bags under his eyes, Yuuji was going to storm to the higher ups himself and take them all out.
It doesn’t have to be like this, though. Things can change, and they can spark change. Megumi just needs to be alive and okay enough to see that.
“You don’t have to say anything back,” Yuuji says, pulling away from the notebook, away from Megumi. “I don’t expect you to reciprocate or anything, and I don’t want you to think this affects our friendship. I just… I needed you to know this. I love you, and I hate seeing you—”
The world falls away when Megumi kisses him.
It’s desperate and messy, wild and untamed. Megumi grabs Yuuji’s collar and pulls him closer, and all Yuuji has the sense to do is grab both sides of his face and kiss him back. Lightning strikes in his mind, in his heart, throughout his body, and the feeling of electricity surges through him. Yuuji moves one hand to the back of Megumi’s head, tangling his fingers in the strands of his hair, as he wraps his other arm around his neck.
Megumi shifts closer, opening his mouth, and deepens the kiss, and it’s the biggest adrenaline rush that Yuuji has ever felt. They hold each other close, leaning into the push and pull of it all. The grip on his collar loosens and arms wrap around his neck as they both fall onto the bed, Yuuji hovering over Megumi for just a moment before he’s pulled back in once more.
Fingers run through his hair, their breaths mixing as they gasp for air, and all Yuuji can do is focus on the feeling of Megumi’s lips on his. He moves and continues spreading kissing across his face, his cheeks, his nose, the two scars below his eyes, and the one that cuts through his right. Yuuji moves down, kissing Megumi, every part of his skin that he can reach, moving to his jaw and down his neck.
“Yuuji—” Megumi breathes, holding the back of his head, running his hands along the undercut and tangling in his hair.
Yuuji cuts him off with another kiss, swallowing the gasp that escapes him. He holds Megumi with everything that he has, all of his strength, keeping him close as if he wants to tear open his skin and let them become one.
Megumi doesn’t hate him, he’s not cursing him out, he doesn’t think he’s being stupid or naïve, and he’s not storming out of the room.
He’s kissing him.
Yuuji gave his heart to Megumi, and Megumi is kissing him.
When he pulls back, Megumi’s eyes are blown wide, darkened in the low light of the dorm. He stares up at him as they both try to catch their breath, and Yuuji lets his head drop until their foreheads are pressed together.
“I love you, Megumi,” he confesses, his voice hoarse and raspy.
“Yuuji,” Megumi whispers, placing a gentle hand on his face. His thumb runs across his cheek, dipping down to trace the scar by his lips. Yuuji watches as he looks at it, looks at his lips, before their eyes meet once more, and Megumi shifts his head up to steal a kiss.
“I love you.”
December 26, 2019
Christmas has come and gone. Nobara, Megumi, and I went to visit Gojo’s grave.
Megumi and I haven’t had a chance to talk about… things, but I don’t really mind to wait. I love him, and he knows it, and that’s enough for me right now. Nobara still teased us for holding hands, but she didn’t protest when I held her hand too.
In the meantime, there’s a meeting with the higher ups that Megumi and I are meant to attend. They specifically asked for us. It’s set for the first.
“Are you serious?” Megumi asks, staring at the dark figures on the screen. He scoffs at the lack of reaction, standing from his chair. “Maki and I have been working on reestablishing the Zen’in clan. I don’t need to live at the estate.”
“A clan head should live with their clan,” one of the Kamo clan representatives argues. “There has been… talk. You have accepted the role of clan head as the Ten Shadows user, and you should honor that.”
“I don’t have to honor shit,” Megumi spits back. “These outdated rules and regulations are the reason why the Zen’ins fell in the first place. I don’t give a fuck.”
“If no one is at the estate, then who makes the decisions for the people living there?” the Kamo representative argues.
“Maki has offered to go to the estate and run things on my behalf while I focus on training Oikado Hitori.” Megumi says, his voice dangerously low. “I’m not leaving the school. Your own Kamo Noritoshi doesn’t live on lockdown at the estate. I’m not doing that either.”
Yuuji sits with his head in his hands, next to Okkotsu, as Megumi and the Kamo continue to argue back and forth. Lately, the clans have been pushing for Megumi to assume more clan head responsibilities to make up for the power imbalance. They’ve been hounding him every chance they get, both the remaining Zen’ins and the Kamos.
The only thing that keeps them from taking advantage of the power vacuum to begin with is the fact that Okkotsu is using his power as the acting Gojo clan head to keep the peace, and the Kamo clan fears him for it.
“Is this all they wanted to demand from us?” Yuuji whispers, looking at Okkotsu.
Okkotsu shakes his head and sighs. “No. This is something that the clans have been talking about, or, rather, the Kamo clan wants, but that’s only part of why we called you here.”
“Why do they give a shit where Megumi lives?” Yuuji asks, turning to see Megumi falling back into his chair. “He’s a student. He should live at the school. Plus, we’re training the first-years.”
“I think the Kamos just think that they can control him,” Okkotsu whispers. “They don’t like that I’m acting as the Gojo clan head, and, while the Zen’ins might be small right now, they still have a lot of influence. Megumi, alone, has influence because of his technique.”
Yuuji sighs and bites the inside of his cheek, trying to curb his frustration. “So, if this isn’t why we’ve been called here, what’s the other part?”
He glances back over to his senior, but it’s Kusakabe who cuts in, leaning over to whisper, “You’re not going to like it, kid.”
Yuuji thinks he doesn’t like any of it. Now that they’ve stopped attending every single meeting, he’s found himself to be a lot less irritable. Not only are they boring, but the higher ups also make it frustrating.
All these old politicians. They’re worse than the board that Gojo had to deal with. At least with the old higher ups, they had an understanding of how sorcery worked. They knew it was dangerous. Sure, they didn’t care, but these new higher ups don’t know anything, and they don’t care.
Their ignorance is working everyone to bone, and it’s going to get someone killed one day.
Megumi ends his argument with the Kamo clan, telling them that he’ll “think about it.” Yuuji knows it’s just his way of telling them to fuck off, but he stays silent and waits for the next speaker.
“Can we discuss the proposal now?” Gakuganji asks, his voice raspy and uneven.
Tengen, the old hag is getting worse and worse by the minute, and Yuuji is left wondering when he finally dies and kicks the bucket.
“Yes, please,” one of the politicians speaks up. “Whatever the clan heads do is their business. We understand that this is sorcery politics, but the proposal is a matter that affects us all.”
“Just spit it out,” Kusakabe demands, voice gruff. “They need to know.”
“Know what?” Megumi asks, turning his way. “What proposal?”
Kusakabe chews his lip and sighs. “We talked about this before.”
Now, it’s Yuuji’s turn to be confused. A proposal? He tries to think back to the last time he was in a meeting with the board, but it didn’t have anything to do with a proposal. Has there been one since that he’s not aware of?
He glances at Kusakabe, who’s pointedly avoiding his and Megumi’s gaze, and then it dawns on him.
“This is just something that has been proposed to the board,” echoes in his mind.
A proposal.
Yuuji’s blood runs cold, and Megumi must come to the same conclusion, because his eyes widen in anger.
“You said you were going to tell them to veto it!” he yells. Megumi’s voice is loud, accusatory, as he points to Kusakabe as if this were his sole fault.
“I said I would try,” Kusakabe defends.
Okkotsu sits forward, holding his hands out to try and placate the two of them. “Megumi, we tried—”
“Fuck that,” he interjects. Turning to the call, Megumi addresses the rest of the board, “Do you understand how dangerous a first grade curse can be for a couple of third grade sorcerers?”
“You defeated a special grade as a second grade, did you not, Fushiguro Megumi?” one of them asks. “In fact, you, Itadori Yuuji, and Kugisaki Nobara all did. In your first year at the school.”
“Yeah, and that’s a result of the old board’s ridiculous feud with Gojo-sensei and all of his students. We were strong enough then, but even still, we barely made it out with our lives. Besides, they wouldn’t even promote Maki past Grade 4, and you think we were properly assessed?” Megumi argues. “Sora and Hitori are properly assessed, and they are both a Grade 3. We can’t guarantee their safety if they come with me or Yuuji on our missions.”
“If you are as strong of sorcerers as everyone says you are, then neither you nor Itadori Yuuji should have any problem defeating a curse,” another politician cuts in. “Having a couple of students watch from a safe distance should not be any different to your missions.”
“You don’t understand,” Yuuji cuts in, jamming his forefinger onto the table. “There is no ‘safe distance’ when it comes to exorcising a curse. It doesn’t matter if I’m the strongest person in the room, a curse will target anything and everything. How about you guys join us on missions and see that for yourselves?”
The room falls silent as Yuuji allows his words to sink in. The faceless figures of the higher ups don’t say anything, and Megumi scoffs, shaking his head.
Is this really what they’ve decided? And they’ve done it without a second opinion?
Then, finally, one of board members speaks: “Oikado Sora and Oikado Hitori will accompany you on your missions, or you will be expelled from the school, and we will find new instructors for them to shadow.”
Then, the call ends.
Notes:
the second monday of january is called "coming of age" day in japan. it's to celebrate people coming into adulthood for 18 and 20-year-olds. yuuji and megumi are still only 15 and 16, but i think there's something to be said about megumi waking up on that day.
the first years are brother and sister, if you didn't pick that up. sora is the older one. their techniques are based off of spiders, specifically the dipluridae species. also, here are their names and their kanji meanings, for no particular reason:
負門 Oikado
負 means "negative, minus, lose"
門 means "gate, doorway, entrance," but it can also mean "home, family, or clan."独 Hitori
独 means "alone, independent, single"空 Sora
空 means "sky, emptiness"a lot of the dates i use for yuuji's journal entries are random. important dates will either be noted here in the a/n or it's obvious, like their birthdays.
anyway, that's all i wanted to say about this chapter. i hope you enjoyed it! bet you weren't expecting a confession or a kiss so early in the game, huh? i like keeping my readers on their toes.
please never let me write over 20k words for two different fics in less than 30 hours again. this was insane of me, actually, and don't expect a double feature update next time around. i just really wanted to write this chapter AND write hot off the press, and the poll results did nothing to curb me.
in fact, when the final poll dropped, i thought, "wouldn't it be funny if i updated for BOTH fics?" please, never let me do this again. my brain is kentucky fried.
as of june 1, 2025, this fic will be on temporary hold as i prepare for itafushi week 2025!!! i have four one-shots planned and will be focusing on those. #trust i will be back with a new chapter soon, though <3
Chapter 3: The Dawn of a New Age
Notes:
still in the past, but not as much. make sure you pay attention to the dates/year <3
!!this chapter has graphic descriptions of death and gore!! specifically, a dead body. if you want to know the specifics of when to skip, please see the drop-down below:
TW
if you would like to skip the dead body, please make sure you stop reading at They had a meeting today that Yuuji knew of, but now they stand before his mangled corpse and are left wondering how this could have happened. and pick back up at “The board’s not going to be too happy about this,” Okkotsu warns, turning towards the screen, which hangs from the ceiling in tatters.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
June 1, 2027
I wasn’t sure if I would be able to do it again, but I went. He looks worse than ever. I don’t know if he’s taking care of himself, but I can only imagine that it’s not enough.
We didn’t talk about last month. I don’t think he even cares that much, even if it made me cry.
Well, not that he knows anyway.
July 1, 2027
Megumi and I walked around for a bit. The weather was nice, so we got our orders and went around the block. For a minute, I let myself pretend that we were on a break or something from the school. Sorta like we did in May.
I miss him It was nice.
August 1, 2027
Megumi asked if he should bother getting Nobara a gift this year. I didn’t tell him about last year, but I said that she might not want to hear from him. She hasn’t forgiven him, and he said he’s known that for four years.
I didn’t tell him how she threw it away last year, but I think he knows.
There’s something else too. Sometimes, when I see Megumi, it’s like he’s not really seeing me. I catch him muttering to himself. He says that he’s fine, but it doesn’t look like he’s getting any better. When I tried to press, he cursed at me and left the shop.
What the fuck is happening to him?
“Fuck,” Yuuji says, sifting through the damage. He crinkles his nose at the pungent smell and coughs, holding the back of his hand to his face to try and block it out. He swallows and looks around the room, hearing the creaking footsteps of his two partners behind him.
“Jesus Christ,” Kusakabe mutters, his gaze following the splatter trail of blood across the wall and up to the ceiling.
“What could have done this?” Okkotsu asks, inspecting the doorframe and the claw marks that cut into the wood.
Yuuji tries to drown out the smell, focusing on his surroundings.
The three of them look around the familiar meeting room they use to call the higher ups. The baseboards are ripped from the floor, the table is broken and splintered, chairs are thrown across the room, and signs of a struggle are evident in the blown-out windows and the attack marks on nearly every surface.
The damage is… unnerving, to say the least. It’s reminiscent of a time that Yuuji has long since tried to move past. The body, the blood, the destruction. It seeps into his mind and shapeshifts into something else, and he has to close his eyes for a moment in an attempt to ground himself.
How long? How many more times will Yuuji have to face death?
Trepidation creeps through his body, spreading through his veins with every pathetic heartbeat. Shibuya, Shinjuku, Hokkaido, Fukuoka.
When does the blood stop staining the ground that Yuuji walks on?
Okkotsu sighs as he walks further into the room, shoulders tense. His expression is plain and indifferent as his eyes move across the devastation. Kusakabe shakes his head and crosses his arms, slinking over, and then the three of them are side by side, taking it all in.
The most notable thing is the body.
“Can’t say I’m too sad the fucker’s gone,” Kusakabe grunts, chewing on a toothpick. “He was really starting to get on my nerves these last few years.”
“Sure, he was a puppet for the board, but did he deserve… this?” Okkotsu asks as he vaguely gestures around the room.
At the end of the table, facing where the call screen used to hang, sits Kyoto’s principal, Gakuganji Yoshinobu.
Or what’s left of him.
No one even knew that a fight had gone down. Gakuganji was visiting the Tokyo school to talk to Kusakabe and Okkotsu and, supposedly, made it in sometime the night before, but no one had seen or heard from him yet. They had a meeting today that Yuuji knew of, but now they stand before his mangled corpse and are left wondering how this could have happened.
The body is positioned in a chair, laid across the back, broken and ripped apart. Shreds of muscle and sinew hang by its skin the way that the flesh of an orange clings to its peel. Yuuji has to swallow his lunch, trying to ignore the flies, but Tengen, they’re everywhere. In the blood, on the skin, picking at the eyes and mouth, and moving in and out of exposed flesh. They crawl across the former principal, making a home out of his body, and Okkotsu has to swat them out of the way as they draw nearer.
Teardrops of blood fall to the floor, each patter echoing throughout the room like the rhythmic ticking of a clock. The chest and abdomen are torn open with its ribs snapped, jutting out of the body as if they’re reaching for the ceiling. Fucking hell, the flies are in there, too.
His gaze drops down to a mass of flesh piled on the floor beneath it, and Yuuji has to clench his jaw when he realizes it’s organ meat. The intestines are tangled around themselves in a thick, soupy mess, mixing together like darkened oatmeal, browned from its exposure to the air.
Taking a deep breath, he looks away.
Blood splatters across the room like paint, dripping from the ceiling in clots, while bits of torn flesh and skin stick to the wall, pink and thin. It’s dried in most places, darkened, peeling, and cracking. Veins dangle in their tangled masses, a spiderweb of crimson and stringy white, and more pools of blood on the floor are viscous and congealed, clumping together.
Yuuji takes a step forward, and his foot slides with a sickening squeak as a streak of red smears against the floor.
And the smell.
Tengen, the smell.
The first thing that hit him when he entered was the blood, of course. But beneath that is the horrible scent of death. It curls in Yuuji’s nose, sitting itself on his tongue. It’s so metallic and… fleshy, and the summer air has done nothing for the body but make it hot and putrid.
“The board’s not going to be too happy about this,” Okkotsu warns, turning towards the screen, which hangs from the ceiling in tatters.
“Well, the board’s just going to have to get over it and find someone else,” Kusakabe says. “They’ve been really pissing me off lately. Maybe this means they’ll start taking us seriously.”
“What do you think caused this?” Yuuji asks, turning to look at his former teacher. “A curse?”
“Has to be.”
“And you think the board will just magically start listening to us because…?”
Kusakabe huffs and crosses his arms. “Gakuganji is dead. He was killed. A curse or something did it, and maybe that will get it through their thick brains to listen to us when we make suggestions.”
“Yeah…” Okkotsu says, like he’s just realized something monumental. “We’re outnumbered in terms of sorcerers and non-sorcerers on this board. We always have been. They hold the power by majority, but we hold the power by knowledge. Now they know that.”
“The higher ups who bothered to learn about sorcery were always far too few,” Kusakabe explains to Yuuji. “You know that. I know that. Everyone fucking knows that. Gakuganji was a suck-up, but his death will show them just how dangerous everything is. Maybe this means they’ll start taking us seriously.”
“Gakuganji and his coward’s way of handling things, agreeing with whatever the person with the most power says,” Okkotsu sneers as he looks back at the body. “He never backed us or cared, but now we can get someone who will.”
So, that’s what this is.
A power move.
“Only took eight years and the death of a higher up for that to happen, huh?” Yuuji mutters bitterly.
Okkotsu shakes his head from behind Kusakabe, but he can’t find himself to care.
The board has always been notoriously more non-sorcerer. That’s just how it is when the rest of the world demands to be a part of sorcerer conversations. In the time since this new board was first formed, it’s gone through a few personnel changes, but they’ve only ever allowed three sorcerers to consistently be in the room.
Gakuganji, because of his status with the previous board.
Kusakabe, because of his role in Shibuya, Shinjuku, and as a representative of Jujutsu Tech.
And Okkotsu, with hesitation, because of his title as the Gojo clan head, his presence as one of the most powerful sorcerers, and his command over Rika, the Queen of Curses.
There was once talk that Yuuji might be appointed to the board, but they never liked the idea of Sukuna’s former vessel calling the shots. Besides, Yuuji thinks he’d rather die than take on a position like that. He used to attend these meetings regularly, and he remembers a good amount of them in the past that he left in the middle of, anger boiling within him, a new kind of rage that he had to tame in order to stay on their “good side.”
No. Yuuji would much rather spend his life chasing Megumi and his trail of corpses than try to be on a board like this.
Still, Gakuganji is going to have to be replaced. He can only hope that it’s someone competent, or — at the very least — willing to advocate for a better system than what they’ve got going now. Somehow, Gojo Satoru died, and the world started moving backwards.
Maybe this is a first step forward…
Then, it hits him.
Yuuji looks at Kusakabe, furrowing his brows. “Kusakabe-sensei.”
The man sighs, shaking his head. “You don’t have to keep calling me ‘sensei,’ Yuuji. I think we’re past that.”
But Yuuji doesn’t care. He ignores it, holding onto his train of thought with everything he has, because…
“You said ‘or something.’”
Kusakabe looks at him, confused, his mouth parting as the toothpick falls and lands in a pool of blood. “Huh?”
Okkotsu steps forward, looking between the two of him, and he almost looks concerned, but that’s not quite it.
No, it’s just like earlier.
He’s indifferent.
“You said,” Yuuji starts, looking between the two of them, “A curse or something did it. Killed Gakuganji.”
“So, what?”
“Well, what else could it be?”
Kusakabe scoffs, pulling out another toothpick and sticking it in his mouth. “Hell if I know, kid. I was just talking. By the state of things, it was likely a curse.”
“Uh huh,” Yuuji agrees. He looks at Okkotsu. “And how does a curse get onto school grounds?”
Now, it’s silent.
Neither Kusakabe nor Okkotsu are really looking at him. Yuuji tries to pick up on any residuals, but he can’t get anything. His first thought goes to Megumi, but… that’s not right.
Megumi has never once, in the five years since he defected, tried to cover up his presence. He’s always made it known — loud and clear — when a kill is his. And, as far as they know, Megumi has never gone after sorcerers. No, he’s killing non-sorcerers, for whatever fucked up reason that Yuuji still has yet to decipher.
So, Gakuganji…
“Yuuji,” and it’s Okkotsu who speaks. He walks over, one hand on his hip, the other he uses to grab Yuuji’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. There’s a soft smile. The kind of smile that Okkotsu uses with the students. The kind of smile that he wears when he’s placating someone. “You’re thinking too hard about this. It was a curse.”
Yuuji stares at him. Then at Kusakabe. Then at Gakuganji’s body. Then back at Okkotsu.
Outnumbered.
Years of being outnumbered.
A message is being sent to the board in the form of a dead sorcerer, and standing before Yuuji is a man who wields the Queen of Curses.
“We’ll refine the barrier, kid,” Kusakabe says, pulling out his phone. He starts dialing in a number. “Don’t worry. The students are safe. No curse is going to get in here again.”
Yuuji stares at Okkotsu, feeling the weight of his hand on his shoulder. It’s heavy, imposing — not necessarily threatening, but a warning. Like Okkotsu is telling him, with a firm grip and a soft smile, don’t worry about it. Really.
“Right…” Yuuji says, looking at Okkotsu once more before turning to Kusakabe. “So, now what do we do?”
“I already have a great idea,” Kusakabe replies, waving them over.
Yuuji and Okkotsu lean in as he holds out his phone. It rings on a call, waiting for an answer. Yuuji can see the three of them in the little camera box in the bottom left corner, and it barely takes a second for the realization to hit him.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he asks, looking back and forth between the phone and the teacher.
Kusakabe smiles, with his greying hair and worry lines. He looks tired, he always does, but he also looks… alive. There’s a fire alight in his eyes, and beneath all the layers of a hardened mentor — built from years of tiresome work, watching students injure themselves or go insane or die — is a man who looks like he’s ready to see the world burn.
“I’m sending a fucking message.”
Kusakabe flips the camera, and the wreckage and ruin of the entire meeting room comes into view just as members of the board start to join the call.
Faceless figures — always faceless — start popping up on the screen, and that’s when the screaming starts.
“Better get out of here,” Kusakabe says to Yuuji, jerking his head towards the door. “We got a lot to talk about, and I know you hate sitting in on these types of things.”
Yuuji swallows and turns to Okkotsu, who only smiles again and nods.
He can’t say that he’s upset, not really. Maybe a bit shaken. Okkotsu and Kusakabe are good people, and they make good decisions. Yuuji isn’t always privy to what those decisions are, especially when it comes to the higher ups, but he knows that they’re always on his side. Something tells him that they still are, and whatever went down in this meeting room is a direct result of that, too.
Something else tells him that the three of them are never going to speak of this again.
“Well,” he says, clearing his throat. He bows to his teacher and his upperclassman, even though they all technically exist at the same level now. Ignoring the screaming on the call, he offers them both a polite nod. “I hope your meeting goes well.”
“I’m sure it will,” Okkotsu replies.
Kusakabe grunts.
Then Yuuji leaves the room.
August 17, 2027
There’s been a lot of stuff going on with the board ever since Gakuganji’s death. Kusakabe and Okkotsu were on that call for hours, but I think most of it was trying to get people to stop screaming. The board wants to appoint someone else to take Gakuganji’s place, and Okkotsu told me that three names were given: Mei-san, Miwa Kasumi, and me.
God, what am I going to tell Megumi? Should I even tell him?
Nobara wants me to give her all the details, but… I don’t think I should do that either.
August 29, 2027
Miwa is now on the board and working closely with Kusakabe and Okkotsu. A few of the non-sorcerers quit. Apparently couldn’t stomach the last call. She’s really stepped into her role, from what I’ve seen so far. There have already been some changes to how missions will be assessed and assigned to people, so maybe… this is it.
Maybe she’s what we needed.
Maybe Megumi can come home.
Megumi sits in the same corner of the coffee shop that he always sits in while he waits for Yuuji to arrive. His hair sticks out from the hood he wears. Those familiar spikes, Yuuji could spot them anywhere. It seems like he already has his order sitting in front of him, and Yuuji stares, watching as he slowly lifts his drink to his face and takes a sip.
Normally, Yuuji would walk right over, but, this time, he stands frozen by the door, trying to decide how this meeting will go.
I have so much to tell you.
He bites the inside of his cheek, trying to stomp down the emotions swelling in his gut. They rage within him like a storm, making him nearly sick to his stomach. Recent events have been more than overwhelming, and there’s been change. So much change.
But it’s a good change.
These are good emotions.
He’s excited, he’s hopeful, he’s eager.
He thinks Megumi will come back.
I have so much to tell you.
Yuuji takes a deep breath and starts to make his way across the shop. Each step feels weighted, slowed down, like every impact against the linoleum tiles sends a shockwave throughout the world. His heart thunders in time with his pace, and Yuuji truly thinks that this is it.
This will be what brings Megumi back.
“Hi,” he breathes out just as he approaches the table.
Megumi straightens a bit in his seat, turning to look back at him. His eyes are darker and more sullen than the last time Yuuji’s seen him, and his shoulders sag, despite his efforts to appear alert. Yuuji stares at the man before him, the man he loves, and he tries not to let his heart shatter into a million pieces.
Tengen, he’s killing himself.
He looks like he holds the weight of the world on his shoulders, just like he tried to do all those years ago, when he once promised the board that he would train in Hitori and Sora’s place. Yuuji can feel the cursed energy wafting off of him. Its presence is imposing — suffocating — and trying to even exist near Megumi is like trying to reach the bottom of the sea as the pressure caves in on him, crushing him where he stands.
“Yuuji,” Megumi says, gesturing to the chair in front of him. “How are you?”
Yuuji slowly slides into the chair, barely noticing that his order already sits before him on the table. “Megumi…”
He’s stopped when Megumi raises his hand. “Don’t.”
Yuuji swallows and nods, reaching for his drink. “Okay.”
When he takes a sip, he lets the sweet flavor of the chai wash over him, comforting and familiar. Now is not the time to be worked up over Megumi’s state. The paleness of his skin, the vacant look in his eyes. Yuuji can fix this when he tells him the news, and then it will all be okay. He can start to heal again.
“How have you been?”
Megumi eyes him, cocking his head. “You didn’t answer my question.”
Right.
Yuuji nods once and sets his cup on the table. “Sorry. It’s just been a little… chaotic for me, I guess. Lots of stuff going on.”
Megumi hums. “Because of the board?”
“Yeah, I—” he stops. Yuuji stares at the man before him, noting the amused expression ghosting his face. “How did you know about that?”
All he’s met with is a smirk. “Word travels fast. If you know who to listen to.”
Yuuji rolls his jaw, but it does nothing to ease the tension — in his body, in the conversation, all around them. “So, you know, then?”
“I do.”
“And?”
“It sounds like Miwa, Okkotsu, and Kusakabe are all doing excellent jobs,” Megumi replies with a shrug, taking another sip of his coffee. “Why do you ask? Did you want to be the one to tell me?”
Yuuji feels his mouth dry, and he doesn’t miss the cold, uncaring tone of Megumi’s voice. It’s not just the fact that he knows about the board. It’s that he doesn’t care. How could he not care?
“You don’t…” Yuuji swallows, feeling the anxiety creep in his body. Something tells him this meeting won’t go like he planned. “You don’t think that’s a good thing?”
Megumi looks at him with a hint of genuine surprise, and, for a moment, Yuuji hopes that he’s changed his mind. Then, a small laugh escapes from his lips, dry and tired. Yuuji hears that laugh, and his heart sinks, because he knows that whatever it is that Megumi will say, he’s not coming back.
“So, the board operates under new management, and you think that will be enough?” he asks.
“No, I just—”
“Yuuji.”
His heart sinks further, dropping from his chest down. Down to the ground, breaking through the crust, falling, lower and lower and lower, all the way until it hits the earth’s core and burns into nothing but a pile of ashes. Megumi stares at him and makes sure that he’s looking at him directly in the eye — piercing and pinning him to the seat — and then he talks. His voice is low — serious and stern — and every word drips with a type of venom that fills Yuuji’s ears with hatred:
“You could replace every non-sorcerer on that board, and things still won’t change.”
Yuuji stares back, trying to take deep and even breaths. Nothing so far is going right. Megumi looks terrible, he doesn’t care about the board, and he’s not coming home.
He’s not coming home.
“You haven’t seen— you don’t know, Megumi,” he tries. His voice cracks pathetically in his throat. “Things are different. They’re safer now. They take us seriously. It’s not like last—”
“That doesn’t mean that it won’t change back!” Megumi hisses, leaning forward over the table. “Gojo-sensei wiped out every old rag from that fucking board, and look where it led us.”
“It’s different now,” Yuuji argues, his hands balling up into fists. He can feel his nails digging into the flesh of his palms, slowly breaking through skin as he tries to remain calm. “I can tell that there’s a real difference. They listen to us. It’s safe.”
Megumi lets a callous laugh fall from his lips, the sound of it hitting the table like a body, dead and empty. No soul. No feeling.
“Sorcery will never be safe, Yuuji.”
“And what you’re doing will make it safe?” Yuuji shoots back, scoffing a bit. “I mean, that’s what you think, right?”
“You don’t need to worry about what I’m doing.”
“Of course, I’m going to fucking worry about what you’re doing, Megumi!”
“Then stop.”
Megumi inhales a sharp breath, pinching the bridge of his nose as he slowly leans back into his seat. His brows are furrowed, eyes shut, as he bites his lip and slowly lets his anger drain. When he comes back to Yuuji, his gaze is hardened and set.
“This isn’t enough to bring me back,” he says.
Yuuji stares.
It’s all he can do.
He just stares and stares and stares and stares. He sees the beautiful green color of his eyes, like the sea, like a lake on a peaceful day. He looks at the hints of blue that exist within those iris pools. It’s like finding something rare and hidden, a soft secret whispered in a simple gaze. He looks into the eyes of the man he can never say no to, of the man that he can never harm, and all he wants to do is just yell.
He wants to break down and cry, to scream and rage, to bring the world to its knees, because — fuck — he’s tired.
All he can feel is loss and hopelessness, trying to find his way through an endless maze, forever chasing the man that’s right in front of him, because he could be one meter or one thousand meters away, and Yuuji will still never reach him.
What will be enough?
Why isn’t he enough?
“Will I ever be enough?”
He whispers it. It’s so soft, one could barely hear it. The way he speaks, so tender, so contrasting to the storm that brews in his mind, it’s like the soft hum of wind after lightning strikes. Yuuji takes all of the anger within him and bottles it, and all that he’s left with is the old companion of loneliness that’s walked by his side ever since the day Megumi left.
Megumi doesn’t answer for a moment. They sit there together in this thick silence, waiting for a response to just fall from the sky. The tension grows with anticipation. A small pause between an inhale and an exhale.
Then, slowly, Megumi starts.
“You are not the issue, Yuuji,” he says, his voice low. Broken. “You will be the solution.”
They stare at each other, looking at their own sad faces reflected in the tears of the other’s eyes, and it’s just… silent. The words slowly sink in, and Yuuji can’t find or form any sort of response. Instead, Megumi’s voice just echoes in his mind in its own sort of promise.
Yuuji will be the solution.
“You’re the whole reason this world gives me any hope at all,” Megumi continues, and there’s a soft, sad smile resting on his lips. Like he knows that what he’s saying is tragic. “And you deserve so much more than the cards you’ve been dealt.”
“So do you, Megumi,” Yuuji insists. He presses his lips together, and all he can do is stare.
Megumi shakes his head. “I’ll get what’s coming to me. Eventually. And you’ll see that all I did was necessary. You will be the one to set it all right. When you’re needed.”
“And how does that work?”
“You’ll know.”
Yuuji sighs and falls back into his chair, trying to figure out where, in the middle of all this chaos, did he ever go wrong. Where did he lose Megumi? When did he start to slip through the cracks of his fingers? When did he become a ghost?
Megumi was there. He was real. What they had was real. Every night spent together, every kiss shared, every smile exchanged. It was real. They were real. The two of them existed together in a way that Yuuji didn’t know was possible. Two broken souls, slowly mending with every delicate touch.
Until, one day, it just wasn’t enough, and all he had to hold onto was the broken school ID of his best friend.
But the truth is that Yuuji knows.
He’ll always know.
He doesn’t think he could ever forget it, even if he tried.
Not even two months after Megumi’s nineteenth birthday, Yuuji felt the grasp of the one person he tried to so desperately cling to slowly fall away. It was like sand — scattered, never quite whole — slipping through his hands as if he never really had him at all. Yuuji felt a piece of his soul fall, too. A small part of him that he could never reclaim, that he could never get back. Forever buried in the ground to become bones, then dust, then nothing.
But the day of his nineteenth birthday is the day that he lost Megumi for good. That’s when his hold was no longer a phantom touch but rather a memory. It was a hazy, blurry concept, the idea of clinging to the one thing that he truly loved.
March 20th, 2022.
Yuuji turned nineteen, gained a year, and lost everything.
“Why can’t you give this a chance?” he asks, though he knows that he won’t get an answer. Not a real one, anyway.
Megumi sighs and looks down into his cup, staring at the black liquid as steam swirls and wafts into the air. “Because,” he says. “I’m doing more for you than the board — new or old — ever could.”
“By killing?”
“By doing what’s necessary.”
Yuuji shakes his head, staring out the window and watching the people pass on the streets of Tokyo. Who will be Megumi’s next victim? Which person is unlucky enough to have their heart stopped by Totality? Or the ox? Nue?
The better question, however, should be when will Megumi do something that finally crosses a line? When will he do something that Yuuji can’t deny? Can’t excuse away? Can’t forgive? How has he not done it already?
Yuuji searches for the answer, diving deep into his consciousness, trying to find the limit, but all he can find is that he’s simply too weak. One of the strongest sorcerers sits before someone that could easily be defeated by him, and all he can do is stare as his heart caves in on itself, hoping to rot if it means his love won’t hurt any more.
“And when do I get to know of your big, secret plan?”
“When I’m done.”
“And when will that be?”
“You’ll know.”
Yuuji scoffs, muttering, “You always fucking say that, Megumi.”
“Listen,” he starts, trying to placate, his voice softer. “I’m glad that the job is better and safer — really, I do — but I promise you. What I’m doing is more than that.”
“If that’s the case, then why won’t you tell me anything?” Yuuji asks as he tries to fight back a laugh. He feels incredulous — the entire thing does. Megumi looks like he’s half of a step away from collapsing, and it’s supposed to be because he’s doing something good? In what world?
“Because it doesn’t concern you,” Megumi answers plainly. “I need to do this alone.”
“And I’m supposed to just let you keep killing people?”
Megumi lets a small laugh escape, holding his arms out like he’s meant to surrender. There’s a cold smile on his face, the skin on his neck stretching where his scar should be. After all this time, Yuuji still doesn’t quite know why he tries to cover it up, but he supposes it has to do with all the traveling he does when he’s looking for a new victim.
“Why stop me now, Yuuji?” he asks, amused. “You’ve let me go this long.”
And, really, Yuuji doesn’t know why he has allowed this to happen. All these years, all this death, Yuuji could have stopped it. He could have listened to the higher ups ages ago and killed Megumi when he had the chance. It probably would have stopped Nobara from hating him, and it could have saved Maki the trouble of fighting Megumi alone in his domain, and yet… he’s never been able to do it.
Megumi is Yuuji’s weakness, and Megumi knows it.
Yuuji sighs and hangs his head, unable to stomach the latte he’s had two sips of and unable to look at the croissant in front of him, but anything is better than looking at Megumi right now. He feels sick, knowing that the man he loves has turned into a monster, knowing that he let it happen, and he just closes his eyes.
“Just tell me it’s almost over, Megumi,” he begs. “Please.”
His eyes stay shut, allowing the silence and the darkness to consume his every thought. Yuuji can’t find it in himself to do anything other than let it sink him. It’s not like he actually expects an answer, and it’s more rhetorical than anything. Megumi will be done when he’s done, and all he can do is hope that it’s soon.
Megumi doesn’t answer.
He doesn’t so much as laugh.
They sit there until the silence is no longer defiance, and it turns into something wrong. Something feels wrong. There’s no you’ll know, no sarcastic laugh, not so much as a sigh. When Yuuji finally peels his eyes open, having to readjust to the daylight, he looks across from himself and sees that Megumi is just staring.
But it’s all wrong.
It’s like he’s staring past Yuuji, looking through a ghost. There’s a vacant expression on his face, his consciousness a million worlds away, and that’s when Yuuji feels it.
The cursed energy is stronger than ever. It rolls off of Megumi in waves, existing around him, pouring out of him, overwhelming him. For a moment, Yuuji thinks that Megumi might attack him. The sheer amount of cursed energy that Megumi openly harbors is more than he’s ever seen. It might even be more than Okkotsu’s.
Where the hell did he get all of this?
Yuuji swallows, trying to bring Megumi back. He’s still just staring, even as he shakes his shoulders, taps his arms, calls his name. Megumi looks ahead like a lifeless doll, or a puppet, as Yuuji prepares for a battle. The cursed energy grows, seemingly never-ending, and every last bit of it traces back to Megumi.
Then, it’s gone.
And Yuuji feels like he can breathe again.
The feeling of the cursed energy is still there, underlying, hidden, like the soft rumble of the ground resulting from an earthquake. But the vacant look in Megumi’s eyes is gone, and with a single blink, he’s back.
“Megumi,” Yuuji says, apprehensive. He swallows, trying to reach out to him, but Megumi only pulls away. “What was that?”
He stares, trying to find the answer in the man before him. The energy has shifted — Megumi’s energy has shifted. Yuuji waits for something, anything, but all Megumi does is stand slowly, preparing to leave.
“It’s almost over.”
September 1, 2027
I don’t know what happened today, but I’ve never seen anything like that before. Megumi has so much cursed energy. Where the hell did he get that from? I need to tell Okkotsu and the others immediately. Whatever it is that he has planned, it can’t be good. Not with that much cursed energy.
Nobara thinks it’s too dangerous for me to go back, but this is the only way I can monitor him.
I don’t know what he means when he says it’s almost over. I don’t think it means he’s coming home though…
October 1, 2027
Nobara saw me leaving today and shook her head. I wish she’d tell me what she really thinks. I can tell it bothers her. She says she doesn’t care, but I know she’s lying. Ever since our last meeting, she doesn’t even want to talk about Megumi. She doesn’t want to talk about work either. I think she’s getting sick of it all. I keep trying to tell her that things are different now with the board. They’re getting better, but she says that it’s not enough.
Megumi says the same thing.
Tengen, you’d think they’d be on better terms with how much they agree with each other, even if they don’t know it. I didn’t think Nobara was such a grudge holder, but I guess I can’t blame her? She was terrified. Even if it was four years ago. I think what she wants most is just an apology.
Or proof that it wasn’t personal.
November 1, 2027
Megumi and I didn’t talk much today. I guess even after all these years Shibuya still hurts. It was sorta nice to just be with him though. We sat together and ate our food. Drank our drinks. Then we just sat some more. Even when he was getting up to leave, it was like he didn’t really want to. I didn’t want him to.
December 1, 2027
Megumi looked better today. Only by a little bit though. Still, I could tell there was a difference. I asked him if it had to do with the fact that he once said everything was almost over, but he brushed it off. What does this mean? I tried to talk about it with Nobara, but she said she didn’t want to hear it. Maybe I’ll run it by Okkotsu. Or Kusakabe-sensei.
Update
Okkotsu is just as confused as I am. We still don’t know what his plan is or why he’s doing it. Tengen, Megumi always has to do everything alone.
January 1, 2028
Happy new year.
A new student is supposed to be joining soon. Apparently, she’ll study under me. I guess that’s fair. Can only go so long witho I’m glad the board trusts me. The board has actually been… really good recently. It’s so weird. It’s only been a few months, but things are a lot better. The more I update Megumi about it, the better he seems to feel, but it’s still not enough.
One day though.
One day.
February 1, 2028
Nobara and I have a mission coming up. It’s supposed to last a couple of days. Okkotsu says that there are at least three Grade 1s lurking, but more could be around. Who knows. I guess that’s why they’re sending both of us. Once upon a time, they would have only sent one, so… that’s an improvement.
Nobara’s nervous. I can tell. Maybe it’s because of what happened the last time one of her missions had a miscalculation. I can’t really blame her for that. I hope she knows that I’m never letting anything happen to her though.
Yuuji grunts as his shoes slide across the ground, kicking up a cloud of dust around him. Nobara is just ahead of him, fighting off her own curse, uniform torn, hair pulled back into a braid. Several strands hang loosely in her face, and she grips her hammer with white knuckles.
Fuck, when did Grade 1s get so tough?
“Nobara!” Yuuji calls. “Are you good?”
“Yeah,” she replies, keeping her eye on the curse. “How about you? You took a big hit.”
He simply scoffs. “The bottoms of my shoes are probably ground smooth now, but I’m fine.”
Nobara huffs a small laugh in reply.
The mission was going fine. Pretty cut and dry. When Nobara and Yuuji made it out to the countryside, they spent their first night scoping out the area and checked into their hotel. Immediately, they could sense the presence of the curses, though they had no idea where they might be lurking.
Now, here they are, in the middle of fucking nowhere, some field further out from the town than they meant to be, with two Grade 1 curses staring them down. There was a third, but they’ve at least managed to exorcise it.
The curse in front of Nobara is tall. It has unnaturally long limbs, with arms that hang so low that they drag on the ground. Its presence is imposing, dark, and twisted. When it first appeared, it was like it emerged from below, manifesting out of puddles of water left from the previous night’s rain. The curse easily towers both Nobara and Yuuji, with eyes all over its body and a single, elongated mouth that stretches from either side of its face. It’s shaped into a permanent smile, all distorted and sinister. The only sound that comes from it is a hysterical laugh, using its limbs to lash out and attack.
Nobara’s picked that one to fight because her nails are long range, but it still managed a few hits on her, too. The problem is that, every now and then, it emits a shriek so loud that — the first time Yuuji and Nobara heard it — they fell to the ground covering their ears.
That’s how Yuuji got hit by the other curse.
It stands before him now, low to the ground. This curse crawls, with six legs like a spider and a large mouth filled with pointed teeth. Two large “pincers” protrude from either side of its mouth, making a clicking noise as it moves. It’s about the size of a car, moving faster than it seems like it should, hissing and spitting as it lunges forward. For the most part, it’s easily avoidable — if you’re agile enough — but then the lanky curse started shrieking and Yuuji was caught off guard. When the spider-curse lunged, he only barely dodged it in time, causing him to get sent flying across the field.
It's starting to stalk him, slowly maneuvering around the field as it creeps through the grass. Yuuji wipes the dirt from his uniform and prepares to fight. He doesn’t like to use Shrine, so he relies on Blood Manipulation, feeling the warm liquid rush over his skin as he positions his arms for attack.
In the corners of his eyes, he can see Nobara fighting the lanky curse, hearing the familiar sound of metal hitting metal as she drives her nails forward with her hammer. Focusing back on the spider-curse, Yuuji takes a deep breath and waits for an attack.
The way that it moves is animalistic and threatening. It charges at him, kicking up dust in its wake. Yuuji widens his stance, preparing himself, and sends a stream of blood straight towards its head. The curse screeches as it pierces through the flesh, and he takes the opportunity to charge it, reeling his arm back and landing a solid punch that sends it flying to the left.
At the same time, Nobara yells — or rather, laughs — as another nail lands in the lanky curse’s flesh. Yuuji turns to her to make sure that she’s okay just in time to see the effects of Hairpin. The curse explodes into a shower of flesh and purple blood, raining down on her.
Nobara makes a noise of disgust, flicking her arms to get the excess remnants of the curse off of her, and turns to Yuuji.
“Watch out!” she screams, reaching out to him as if she’s not standing meters away.
A nail flies past his head, causing Yuuji’s line of sight to follow. It embeds itself in the flesh of the spider-curse, just below its neck, as it charges again towards Yuuji. He barely dodges it, able to land a hit as it runs past, but there’s no real damage.
“Dumbass!” Nobara scolds, running up to him. “Pay attention!”
“Sorry,” he grumbles.
Squaring himself to use Piercing Blood again, he watches the curse carefully as it moves and positions his hands in front of his body. The feeling of his cursed energy rises, and he takes a deep breath, as he channels his blood into a single point and lets it shoot from the tips of his fingers.
It beams straight through the curse, cutting into the trees behind it, and it yells before turning its head towards him.
“You wanna get this, or me?” Nobara asks, holding her hand up and ready to trigger Hairpin again.
“Nah,” Yuuji says with a smile. Piercing Blood still beams through the curse. “I got this.”
He shifts his arms, causing the blood to bisect the curse into two nearly perfect halves. It lets out another loud screech, its pincers reaching up to the sky and clicking, and slowly dissolves from the world, leaving only its residuals and purple blood behind.
“You’re such a show-off,” Nobara scoffs, shoving him lightly on the shoulder. She brushes a strand of hair away from her eyepatch and flicks her hand to get some of the blood off of her. “This is so disgusting.”
“You’re the one who exorcised it in the messiest way possible,” Yuuji teases, smoothing some of the hair that escaped from her braid. He tucks a piece behind her ear and wipes some of the dirt from her face.
“Says you, who just cut a curse in half,” she retorts.
“Ah, but that was meters away,” he argues back, gesturing vaguely to her body. “You got a free shower.”
“I’m about to take a million showers. This shit is so hard to wash out.”
“At least it’s just curse blood and not our blood.”
Nobara hums and starts making her way through the field, back towards the village. Yuuji follows, stretching his arms and shoulders as he walks. He’s a bit sore from the hits that he took, but considering that there were three Grade 1s, he’s in a lot better shape than he or Nobara would have expected to be.
She must come to the same conclusion, because she stops all of the sudden and turns to him. “That might have been the easiest mission I’ve been on since— fuck, I can’t even remember.”
Her eyes are wide and awestruck, genuinely surprised by the outcome of the mission. Yuuji feels a smile creep onto his face, and a small laugh escapes him. “Holy shit, yeah. You’re right.”
“Should’ve gotten Miwa on the board sooner,” Nobara says, turning back to town. “Or someone better than that dead fuck.”
“Yeah…” he agrees, trailing off as he thinks back to last year. It hasn’t even been a year since Gakuganji’s death. It’s barely been six months. But the shift in the system is evident by this mission, which was properly assessed and assigned to two sorcerers based on the curses’ power, Yuuji’s and Nobara’s skill, and with a little bit of cushion to make sure that no one sorcerer was outmatched.
This was… entirely new.
“Do you think that all missions will be like this from now on?” Nobara asks as she breaks through the tree line. The walk back to the town is going to be a long one, but the prospect of a new system excites them both.
It’s been hell for so long. They’ve gone through hell and back — Yuuji, especially. Nobara, especially. They’ve all felt the effects of this “new board,” but now it’s different. This will have a ripple effect of changes.
A new age.
“Hey.”
Yuuji looks up to Nobara, who’s walking ahead of him. She doesn’t slow down or turn back to look at him, keeping her gaze firmly on the path before them. Her braid is messy, falling down her back and stopping just short of her shoulder blades. He can see a bit of her eyepatch peeking out from her hair, and her shoulders are tense.
“Yeah, what’s up?” he asks.
There’s a brief pause — a bit of hesitation — before she asks, “How’s—”
She cuts herself off, and her hands clench and unclench into fists at her sides. Yuuji waits for her, not wanting to push, but he’s sure he knows where this is going.
“Is he better or worse?” she finally says, her voice barely a whisper.
Yuuji bites the inside of his cheek and looks down at the ground, watching as his shoes crunch in the dead leaves and over the brittle, winter ground. Nobara doesn’t ask about Megumi often. She doesn’t really like to bring him up.
But he knows that she still cares about him. In her own way.
In the only way that allows her to not be as hurt as he is.
“Worse,” he answers honestly. Megumi’s condition has been getting worse and worse and worse over the months. His cursed energy grows at the expense of his condition, and it’s making Yuuji worried. Every time he brings it up, however, he’s shot down.
Forced to watch his best friend, the man he loves, kill himself slowly — it’s no different than before.
Nobara hums, and he thinks that she might want to say more, but she remains silent.
The walk back into town, past all of the weird stares and the mildly horrified looks from the hotel staff, is tense. As he showers in his room, a million different things run through his mind — guilt, sadness, loneliness.
Yuuji feels like he lives in two different places.
Two worlds.
There’s the world where he’s a sorcerer and a mentor, and he has an obligation to the school and a desire to help people. In this world, he is Nobara’s best friend, an occasional consultant for the board, and a teacher at Jujutsu Tech, when needed. He goes on missions, he exorcises curses, and he does his best to honor what his grandfather wanted for him. People look up to him, and he hopes that he provides a strong path forward. One that leads them to satisfaction rather than death.
Then, there’s the other world. In this world, he’s just a man. He’s selfish and indulgent. His time is spent chasing after a man who says he loves him back and then walks away to leave him chasing some more. This is the world where he just loves Megumi, and he wants to be with him. This is the world where he wants to live a simple life. A quiet life. The kind of life where he wakes up by his lover’s side, and they spend the day together, cooking meals, laughing, and just… being.
At one point, he had both.
As time went on, somehow, those two worlds separated themselves from one another, and he’s now left teetering between them. He can’t be a sorcerer and be with Megumi. He can’t be with Megumi and save people, because Megumi kills now.
When the morning comes, after Yuuji spent his evening tossing and turning and dreaming of his life before the world ended — before Hokkaido, he and Nobara don’t speak a word of it. They check out of the hotel, they make their way to the train station, and they ride silently back to the meeting point with one of the school’s managers.
Not once does she ask him another question, and he doesn’t try to bring Megumi back up again.
March 1, 2028
Megumi got me an early birthday gift. It wasn’t anything super special. He gave me a nice pen for the journal and paid for my order at the café. I tried to pretend like I didn’t notice the eyebags and the heavy breathing and the sag in his shoulders.
Still, I tried to tell him about the mission with Nobara. He said it was great that things seemed to be changing, but he didn’t really care. He’s “too far” to stop now.
I wish I knew what that meant.
April 1, 2028
I get a new student to train next month. She’ll be studying under me before she enrolls at the school, and that’s about all I know. This will be the first time I’ve had a student to look after since Sora. Hitori, too. Even though he was technically Megumi’s student.
I’m not sure if I should tell him or not. I didn’t mention it during our meeting. I guess he’ll find out soon enough when she actually arrives in Tokyo, but maybe I should think on it more. Or maybe it’s better that he hears it from me.
May 1, 2028
I told him, and… I guess he took it well? He was silent at first. I was a little worried that he would be mad or upset, but he just nodded and said that he’s sure I’ll be a great teacher. I couldn’t tell if he was bitter or not, but I assured him that things will be okay. He just said that he’s sure they will be.
I wish I knew what was going through his head.
Yuuji rubs his palms against the thighs of his jeans as he waits for the new student to arrive. All he knows about her is that she’s an orphan and her technique developed while she was in a home. The owners contacted the school immediately, and now she’s been placed in their hands with no intentions of taking her back.
She’s only fourteen.
He checks his phone for the time and realizes that she’s supposed to be arriving any moment now. Usually, he would have gone to greet her himself, but she requested to be taken straight to the school, so he’s left waiting at the entrance.
After a few more minutes of waiting, the familiar black manager’s car pulls up and parks in front of the building. Akari steps out of the vehicle first, walking around to the back passenger seat to open the door. She then makes her way to the trunk and lifts it open.
As she’s digging through the car and setting luggage out onto the ground, a girl steps out of the back of the car, and Yuuji’s breath catches in his throat.
She has long, straight hair that falls to the middle of her back. It’s a soft brown color, contrasting her fair skin. He watches as she turns and looks at her surroundings, mouth agape as she takes in the scenic view of the mountains and the imposing nature of the school.
Yuuji starts to make his way over to her as a lump forms in his throat. Every step he takes feels weighted and heavy, and it’s like time is moving in slow motion. How did no one catch this? Of course, no one would catch this. The only other people who ever really knew what she looked like before she died are scattered across the world.
This leaves Yuuji here in Tokyo.
The girl catches his eye and smiles. God damn it, it’s such a familiar smile.
He has to wonder if it’s some cruel trick of fate. Is this his punishment? To stare into soft, bright, brown eyes that look too familiar to a girl he once thought he knew. To a girl he never got to meet.
“Hi!” she beams, stepping closer to him. She holds out her hand for him to shake. “My name is Kasa Ayumi.”
Of course.
Yuuji swallows and takes her hand, shaking politely and hoping that he’s not trembling.
“I’m Itadori Yuuji,” he says. “I’ll be training you for the coming school year.”
Ayumi nods and retracts her hand, turning to Akari to help her with her luggage. He watches pathetically as the two converse, and there’s a pang in his chest that ricochets throughout his entire body. His heart squeezes, and all he can feel is guilt.
So much guilt.
At one point, she turns around and must see him staring, because she laughs nervously and asks if everything is okay. It takes a moment for the question to process, and Yuuji has to blink away his disbelief, averting his gaze and scratching nervously at the back of his neck.
“Sorry, yeah,” he says sheepishly. “You just… look like someone I used to know.”
“Oh!” she exclaims. “Anyone that I’ll get to meet?”
His mind flashes back to ten years ago, back to all of the destruction and the aftermath of Shibuya. Yuuji travels through time, through the Culling Games and all of his actions made in an attempt to save the one person that mattered most to Megumi. He feels himself swallowing as he stares at the face, twisted and evil. Megumi’s face comes into view, full of pain and shock and betrayal.
And behind it all, he now sees Ayumi standing before him, and all he can do is just give a small smile and shake his head.
“I’m sorry, but no. She’s not around anymore.”
May 5, 2028
Ayumi is settled in her room now. I can’t stop staring at her. I’m sure I’d freak her out if she ever catches me, but, Tengen, I can’t help it. She just looks so much like her. I see her face, and all I can think about is how badly I failed Megumi.
Tengen, what would Megumi say about this?
I figured the board would want me to start training her immediately, but they’re giving her time to get settled at the school and in the dorms before we start training, which I’m sure she appreciates. I think the next month or so will be focused on setting a schedule and then working on combat training. I’m interested to see what her technique will be.
June 1, 2028
Megumi asked how the new student was settling in, and I told him that it was fine. I didn’t mention her uncanny resemblance to Tsumiki. I figured it might upset him.
They’re not a one to one match. There are some features that are different, but there are too many similarities. I know that he would see it if he ever saw her. I’m not sure how he might react to it either. I don’t know if I should tell him.
July 1, 2028
Today was nice. Megumi and I didn’t talk much. He looks tired, as always. I guess I’m starting to get used to his appearance, though I still don’t like it. I’ve learned that trying to pry just earns me an early departure, so I just try to grit my teeth through it.
Still, I’m worried.
I’m always worried.
August 1, 2028
Megumi asked about Nobara’s birthday again. Nobara hasn’t brought him up again since our mission back in February. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I told him that she’s still upset, and he said that he understands that. It’s so obvious that he still cares about her, and I think she still cares about him, but I’m still stuck in the middle of it all.
Tengen, I miss our birthdays.
They’re not the same.
September 1, 2028
Ayumi’s been doing well in training. She’s really starting to impress me, and she has such an interesting technique. I’m no longer as distracted by her looks anymore, though she sometimes catches me off guard. There was one time when I nearly called her Tsumiki, but I caught myself. I guess I just still have to be careful.
Megumi showed up today with a bit of blood on his clothes. I couldn’t tell if it was his or someone else’s. I didn’t really want to ask. I used to be able to ask him anything. Now it feels like I’m constantly treading water with him.
“Focus your cursed energy into a single point as you look,” Yuuji calls out.
He stands several meters ahead of Ayumi in the school gym, waiting for her to use her technique. She furrows her brows as she concentrates, sweeping her bangs aside. Slowly, Ayumi takes a few steps to the side until she’s standing behind a rolled up mat on the floor.
Then, as if she’s teleporting, she takes a step on the mat and appears in front of him, barely an arm’s length between them.
“Nice job!” he beams, raising his hand for a high five.
She returns it, smiling and looking back to where she stood. “You think I’m getting the hang of it?”
“Definitely,” Yuuji assures her, eyeing the same spot.
Ayumi’s technique is all about perspective. Paradigm Distortion allows her view of the world to alter reality, so she can travel through it based on what she sees. To Yuuji, Ayumi was standing behind a floor mat and teleported in front of him. To Ayumi, that mat looked like a small bridge that shortened the distance between them.
It’s a little hard for him to wrap his mind around, but she seems to understand it best through experience. The technique itself doesn’t seem very combatant right now, but she can learn hand-to-hand and is able to travel in a way that no one else can.
In summary, once she learns how to fight and use her technique to travel in and out of distance on a whim, she will be nearly impossible to catch.
First, however, she needs to get used to using her technique.
“It’s so weird to suddenly appear in front of you like that,” she says, glancing back and forth between herself and the floor mat. “It kind of makes my brain hurt.”
“So, if I held my hand out towards the bleachers over there, would you be able to travel to them by stepping on my hand?” Yuuji asks, pointing to the row of bleachers to his right.
Ayumi looks at his hand and then at the bleachers, eyes narrowed as she takes in the view. “Maybe…” she says, moving to position herself further back from him. “I think if I can bridge this gap between me and the bleachers with your hand in my view, then I can travel across it to them.”
“Try it,” Yuuji says, holding his palm flat.
She’s silent as she moves around a bit, then asks, “Can you lower it a bit?”
He does so.
“Back a bit higher.”
He shifts his hand up.
“Okay, stay still.”
Yuuji waits, looking at his student. Ayumi sucks in a deep breath and takes one step forward. There’s a surge of cursed energy, and he can feel what can only be described as a gust of wind wash over his hand.
In an instant, she’s on the other side of the room, standing at the top of the bleachers. She wobbles a bit, then steadies herself and turns back to him.
“Holy shit!” she yells, grinning from ear to ear.
Yuuji just stares at her, completely dumbfounded. He’s never seen someone travel like that. Not since Gojo, who could actually teleport.
“I need to work on my balance a bit,” Ayumi calls out as she starts to make her way down and back to him. “It’s really weird to travel like that.”
“How do you feel otherwise?” he asks. “Any pain? Nausea?”
She shakes her head. “Nope. I feel fine.”
“That’s amazing, Ayumi,” Yuuji says once she finally reaches him. “Once you get the hang of this, you’ll be able to get yourself in and out of fights with ease.”
“This has me looking at the world in an entirely different way,” she breathes out as she spins in a slow circle, taking in everything around her. “This is so cool.”
Yuuji can’t help but smile to himself. Pride swells within him, and it feels good to be training with someone. Ayumi is a great student, and he’s finding himself to be a teacher again. He takes her into the city, he cooks meals for her, they hang out with Nobara. She’s been introduced to several of the other students already, and he can tell that she’s ready to join them in their classes.
It almost feels normal.
This is the sort of domesticity that he’s been craving. He never even realized how badly he missed it before. All of his time has been spent on missions and Megumi and the board, but having Ayumi here as his student is almost like it used to be.
Almost.
“Okay,” Yuuji starts, jerking his head towards the door. “You’re dismissed for the day. You learned a lot and did some great work.”
Ayumi smiles up at him and nods. “Thank you, Itadori-sensei.”
He returns the smile and watches as she heads for the gym’s exit, bouncing as she walks. Her hair swings with each step, and he’s reminded once again of her tragic double. His chest tightens, and his stomach churns. He’s unsure how long it will take for him to get used to her. It could be never.
She’s a great kid. Has a good head on her shoulders. Not only is her appearance familiar but the way that she acts — her heart, her soul — all of the loneliness and the hardships that she’s been through, and she’s still a better person than this job could ever hope for.
A part of him wishes that she never had to be a sorcerer. That she was never born with a technique. He can already imagine Megumi’s reaction to her. Another girl — another Tsumiki in the world — nothing but a servant to the system of sorcery.
Yuuji shakes his head as the gym door shuts, and he can only hope to protect her.
October 1, 2028
Megumi tells me that he’s going to be leaving Japan for a bit, unsure if he’ll be back by November. He tells me that he understands if I don’t show up on the off chance he won’t be there. I’m not sure what I’ll do, but knowing me, I’ll be there anyway.
Also, Ayumi’s improved a great deal. She’s able to travel with her technique more and more while maintaining her balance. The board wants to wait before putting her out into the field, and I agree. It’s weird to have them on my side, but I can’t say I’m complaining.
November 1, 2028
Nothing so far.
I’m writing this as I wait for him, but I assume he won’t be showing up. Will update later, I guess.
Yuuji sits in the café well past the designated meeting time. Megumi’s never late, and he’s never first, which means that he hasn’t made it in from wherever the hell he went. Some reports say he was in Canada, which lines up with the four reported bodies, but there was something else that leaves Yuuji feeling unnerved.
There was a lot of blood this time — there usually is — but it wasn’t just blood from the four people found dead. There was a fifth, and he has a good idea who it belongs to. Yuuji’s worried that Megumi is stranded somewhere. Hurt, dying, who the hell knows. He hasn’t texted him, and he doubts he’d get an answer if he calls.
Checking the time once more, it’s nearing one now. He stands, sure that Megumi won’t be coming, and a part of his heart breaks. It’s not just the disappointment that he didn’t show, it’s the fact that he hasn’t heard anything. Yuuji wonders if this is it then. Maybe the board can stop hounding him about it, maybe Nobara will stop hating him, maybe people will stop dying to the Ten Shadows technique.
Maybe it’s for the best.
As Yuuji tucks his notebook away in his jacket and puts it on, the doors to the coffee shop open. A man stumbles in, looking drunk or homeless or both. He’s teetering on his feet, swaying like a light breeze could knock him over, and he has to grip the door frame to keep upright.
Then Yuuji notices the scars on his hands, then the hair, then the familiar frame of his body, and he’s racing towards the man in an instant.
“Holy shit,” he breathes out, reaching him just in time to catch him from falling. “Megumi, what the fuck?”
Megumi sucks in a shaky breath, his face a pale sheet of white, dripping with sweat. His eyes are bloodshot and heavy, with dark bags sitting just below them. He looks like he’s ready to collapse and die. It feels Yuuji with a panic like no other, and he’s suddenly rushing him to sit down.
“Megumi, fuck,” he curses, ignoring the stares from other patrons in the shop.
“I didn’t think you’d be here waiting for me,” Megumi grits out. His voice is low and weak, hoarse. When he notices that Yuuji’s bringing him further inside, he resists and starts pulling himself back to the door. “No. Stop. Not here.”
“Well, where the fuck are we supposed to go, Meg?” Yuuji asks, wrapping one of his arms over his shoulders. He uses his free arm to secure a grip against Megumi’s waist and hauls him towards the door. The first thing that he notices is that he’s lighter than he’s ever been before, and the feeling makes his stomach drop.
Is he eating?
“Do you still have that apartment here? In the city?”
“You know that I do,” he answers immediately. “Do you want to go there?”
Megumi nods, taking quick, shallow breaths. “Take me there, use RCT, and I’ll be fine.”
“Tengen,” Yuuji mutters.
Megumi chuckles. “Still taking after me, huh?”
Yuuji doesn’t say anything in reply.
The walk back to his apartment is agonizing. Yuuji’s tempted to pay for a driver, but Megumi resists and insists that he’s fine to walk. Still, he can tell that every step pains him, and the way that he grits his teeth shows so much more than he’s letting on.
People stare, a few ask questions like if they need an ambulance, but they brush them all off and continue their way back to Yuuji’s apartment. Yuuji can feel his heart racing as panic rises within him, and it occurs to him that Megumi could very well die in his arms.
“What happened to you?” he tries to ask, rounding the corner of his building’s block.
“Ask me when I’m not using all of my energy to walk, Yuuji,” Megumi bites back.
Yuuji takes a deep breath but nods, staying silent as he watches his breath fog and fade. Despite the cold air, he’s burning up. Megumi’s temperature is elevated, and he’s sweating as he fights his body’s natural instinct to fall over. Yuuji’s trying his best to hold them both up, but hauling a full grown man — underweight or not — is hard, even for him.
When they finally reach his building, his pulse starts to calm down. He feels a lot better knowing he’s just an elevator ride away from his apartment. He leads Megumi through the lobby, who’s taking the time to look around the room. It dawns on him that this is his first time actually bringing Megumi to his apartment, and he tries not to feel bitter over the circumstances.
The ride up is excruciating. Megumi looks like he could pass out at any moment now, and all Yuuji can do is sit there and watch and listen to the rhythmic ding of the elevator as it passes each floor. When they finally make it out and into his apartment, Megumi practically collapses onto the floor.
Yuuji falls to his knees next to him, Reverse Cursed technique at the ready, but Megumi grabs onto his wrist and stops him.
“There’s something in me,” he chokes out. “You have to take it out, and then you can heal me.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Megumi, do you mean you got stabbed?” Yuuji asks incredulously, staring down at him.
His eyelids flutter, his pupils are dilated, and his breath is uneven. No response.
Yuuji’s gaze darts across his face, waiting for an answer, and he can feel his throat closing with every second that he’s not saving him. Is this what it was like for him? Kneeling over the man you love, wanting with everything in your heart to save his life, and ultimately not being able to?
“Megumi,” he says, trying to get his attention. His eyelids flutter some more. “Megumi, tell me where.”
Yuuji waits as tears start to well, blurring his vision. A small sob escapes his mouth, and he swallows the rest of it down. A single drop falls from his eye and lands on Megumi’s hand.
At that, he opens his eyes.
“My side,” he groans, squeezing his eyes shut as he tries to fight the pain. “Above my right hip bone.”
Yuuji nods and moves quickly, but his hands are shaking. He slowly peels Megumi’s jacket off of him and tries to do the same with his shirt, but it’s impossible to get him to sit up. Eventually, he gives up and rips the shirt in his panic.
Just above Megumi’s hip is the broken end of some sort of wooden weapon, like a handle. It protrudes from his flesh, splintered and cracked. There’s dried blood mixed with fresh blood in the wound, which has become reddened and swollen. Yuuji’s unsure how he didn’t notice it before, but the jacket covered a lot.
“Fuck,” he says under his breath. “Do I— do I just pull it out?”
“There’s going to be a lot of blood,” Megumi grits out, teeth clenched. “I’m probably going to scream. Just get it out and immediately apply Reverse Cursed technique. It’s not going to kill me, it’s just going to hurt like a fucking bitch.”
Yuuji nods and reaches for the handle. At the slightest touch, Megumi instinctively flinches, and it jerks away from him. He’s scared to touch it, he’s scared to make it worse, but this wound won’t heal unless he gets this thing out of Megumi’s side, and he looks like he could lose consciousness any second now.
“Okay, I’m just going to grab it and pull,” Yuuji says, more to himself than to Megumi. “Ready?”
“Just fucking do it!” Megumi yells, slamming his head back onto the floor in pain.
Yuuji sucks in a sharp breath and reaches for the handle again, grabbing onto it and pulling.
The feeling of pulling something from living, breathing flesh is unlike anything he’s ever experienced before. It slides out sickeningly easily, thanks to the blood and the slick flesh beneath Megumi’s skin. Yuuji swallows, his throat tight, and drops the handle onto the ground as he immediately activates Reverse Cursed technique.
A soft white glow emits from his hand as he holds it over the wound, shushing and soothing Megumi as it starts to heal. Megumi’s breathing is still sharp and quick, but it slows, and his brows start to unfurrow. Yuuji can only look at his hand covering Megumi’s wound, and a million thoughts race through his mind, but the loudest one is he’s okay.
His hands are slick with blood. It coats them up to his wrist, but he can’t bring himself to care. All he can feel is the warmth of Megumi’s body as he holds his palm against his skin and feels it starting to mend itself closed. His pulse begins to slow down to a more normal rate, too, as Megumi lies against the floor in his peripherals, eyes still shut.
Yuuji turns to look at him, his gaze tracing the scar on his neck up to his jaw. He clenches his teeth and swallows, unable to look away from it. The only thing that he can think is that this had to have been what it was like for him in Hokkaido.
“Fuck,” Yuuji yells. His outburst causes Megumi to peek an eye open, but he can’t bring himself to stop and care. Tears are rolling down his face now, and sobs wrack his body. He wants to yell louder, to scream and curse and break shit.
Megumi doesn’t say anything, still lying beneath him, beneath the touch of his hand. Yuuji lets himself cry until all he’s left with is anger. How could he do this to him? How dare he show up to the café in that state, demanding that he save him? And of course — of course — Yuuji would do it without question.
He nearly had to watch Megumi die. He saw his life slowly fading away, and they barely made it in time.
Fuck, how could he do this to him?
“Yuuji.”
It’s so small, and Megumi still sounds so weak. His voice is low and raspy, and his breathing isn’t entirely even yet.
Yuuji shakes his head, eyes squeezed shut, and he just lets himself feel Megumi. Feel the warmth of his flesh under his hand. Feel the rise and fall of his abdomen with every breath. Once he’s finally calmed down, he allows himself to look back at the other man, who’s already staring at him with those beautiful green eyes that he loves so much.
“I’m sorry, Yuuji,” he croaks out. “I didn’t mean for you to— it wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”
“What the hell happened?” Yuuji asks, keeping his hand firmly over the now closed wound. A scar probably exists there, but he doesn’t want to see it. Not yet.
“I got back to Japan last night,” Megumi explains. “There was a fight, but you don’t need to know the details of that.”
“No, I’m sure I’ll learn all about it later today when the body gets discovered,” Yuuji says bitterly. He could almost laugh. Megumi is killing himself. Intentional or not. Necessary or not. How long is he supposed to watch this keep happening?
“I’m sorry, okay?” Megumi stresses. He tries to sit up, groaning and still a bit weak, and Yuuji presses his lips together before he decides to help him.
They’re both sitting on the floor, and he realizes that this is the first time they’ve been this close to each other in years. Yuuji can feel Megumi’s breath ghosting his face, tickling his cheek. His eyes are like an endless ocean in front of him.
Green. His favorite color. A hidden gem. A treasure for only him.
Even the scars on his face are beautiful. Everything about him is beautiful. Even when he’s near death, Yuuji thinks that he is beautiful, because he’s so pathetically, hopelessly, and stupidly in love with him.
Megumi only stares back, and for a moment, Yuuji thinks he can see the old Megumi looking back at him. His gaze is soft, filled with a want that he hasn’t seen in so long. If Yuuji just inched forward, just a bit, their lips could touch, and the fire that burns within him might turn into an explosion.
“I’m sorry,” Megumi whispers again. “I’m so sorry.”
“Megumi,” Yuuji murmurs, letting his eyes fall down to his lips. He hasn’t kissed him in so long. Tengen, he wants to kiss him.
“It won’t happen again,” he promises.
“How can you be so sure?” Yuuji asks, still feeling the thrum of life beneath his hand that sits over Megumi’s hip. Or maybe it’s his own pulse. He’s not too sure.
“Because,” Megumi starts. He allows his own gaze to drift down, staring at Yuuji’s lips with a gluttonous desire, religious in its own way. Then, a soft sigh escapes his mouth, and he turns away. “This can’t happen again.”
Yuuji blinks in surprise, feeling the moment shatter with a thousand different wants, his heart breaking with them. Megumi hisses as he starts to stand, grabbing his jacket and throwing it back on. All Yuuji can do is stare up at him pathetically, feeling worse than rejected. No, he feels completely unwanted.
Used.
“I’m sorry, Yuuji,” Megumi says.
But he doesn’t sound like it.
Not this time.
No, this one doesn’t sound sincere, and he doesn’t even look like he regrets it.
“You—” Yuuji looks down at his hands. Hands that are covered in Megumi’s blood from where he just saved his life. He didn’t expect a kiss, he didn’t expect a thank you, or an explanation. He could never demand that of Megumi, and he would save him without reward any day. Of course, he would.
But, somehow, he just feels so used. It’s like Megumi knew that he would do this for him without question. He would let him haul him through the city, up to his apartment, bleed on his floors, remove a weapon from his stab wound, and patch him up without question.
And now he’s leaving.
“That’s it?” Yuuji asks, his breathing increasing in time with his anger. “You’re leaving now?”
“I have to go, Yuuji,” is all he says in reply.
“So, you’re just going to show up half-dead, expect me to save you, and then— what? Just leave?” Yuuji scoffs. “That’s all?”
“What do you want me to fucking do?” Megumi exclaims, throwing his arms up. “I’m not coming back, you can’t convince me, and I’m still going to keep doing what I’m doing. What’s the point of staying here any longer? What’s the point of kissing you?”
Yuuji stares up at him, unsure which emotion to feel more. Hurt. Rage. Betrayal. Any of it would fit. He should be furious. He should yell some more, maybe even fight Megumi right here and now and end this whole thing.
But instead, he just swallows, nodding. “Alright. You can let yourself out.”
Megumi falters for a moment, and the two of them just stare. There’s so much behind his eyes, and Yuuji can tell that he wants to say it all. But he doesn’t. Whatever it is, he leaves it a secret, buried beneath all of the things that he’ll never let Yuuji in on.
“Thanks,” he says, turning to the door.
Yuuji nods again, not really caring if he can see him or not. More tears threaten to spill, but he wills them not to. He already let himself cry, once when he thought Megumi was dying, and once when he realized he saved him.
He doesn’t need to cry anymore.
Yuuji stares at the blood on the floor, at the broken handle of what-the-fuck-ever, and listens as the door opens and closes with a definitive shut. He’s unsure how much time passes, him just staring at the mess. All he feels is defeat, empty and broken and limp and lifeless.
His body is hollow. Nothing but a shell.
Eventually, he moves, realizing he should probably clean the blood. As he does so, he feels something in his jacket, a small weight, and when he reaches in to check, he realizes that it’s his journal.
Blood gets on the cover and the first few pages. Megumi’s blood. He rolls his jaw as he flips through it, wondering what he should write, but then he just sees his message from Megumi back when it was first gifted to him.
Happy Birthday, Itadori.
Thank you.
Yuuji has to bite his lip to keep a sob from escaping, and he reads the line over and over again.
A conversation from so long ago plays in his mind on repeat.
“Why are you saying thank you to me?”
“Because I wouldn’t be here to give you this gift, if it weren’t for you.”
So many different emotions race through his head, and Yuuji just wants to let it all out, screaming with his chest as he rages at the world. He wants to tear the journal apart — page by stupid fucking page — and trash it. He wants to go after Megumi and attack him? Fight him? Kill him? Kiss him?
Fuck.
Yuuji stands, journal in hand and storms towards his bedroom. A simple desk sits beneath the window, and he walks up to it, breathing heavy, and yanks open the bottom drawer. He yells in frustration as he throws the notebook inside and slams it shut, unable to cap the anger within him.
Never again.
That book will collect dust in there until the day he dies.
Notes:
hello, i have returned from my itafushi week hiatus!!! in return for being so patient and kind, i have brought you a 13k chapter! there's a LOT that happens with this one, and there are some things i want to note! let's get into it:
first off, many, many thanks to my wonderful friend, erihn, AKA: medblackcoffee!!!! fun fact about her: she's just completed her MASTER'S PROGRAM, which is in forensics.
so, what am i thanking her for? that beautiful, lovely, and detailed description of gakuganji's corpse is all her, baby. nothing like dm'ing your friend and asking them for help in describing a dead body. thank you so much, erihn! and thanks for sitting on the secret that gakuganji was the one who died for like a month lol.
second off, just like sora and hitori, i wanted to give you all ayumi's name and her kanji meanings:
倍 Kasa
倍 means "double, twice"明夢美 Ayumi
明 means "bright, clear, obvious"
夢 means "dream, vision, illusion"
美 means "beauty, beautiful, pretty"for no particular reason, i thought you all should know that 美 is the same kanji used in tsumiki's name.
third, may 5th (the day yuuji meets ayumi) is kodomo no hi, AKA: children's day in japan. it's a day to respect and honor children for their inidividual strengths and happiness. i think it's ironic and a little bit tragic that ayumi has such a striking resemblance to tsumiki. her inidivuality to the reader has been taken from her (i'm sorry), which is what makes this day ironic.
fourth, shoutout and many thanks to sunny for coming up with the name for ayumi's technique! i was highkey stumped and was fully prepared to just name it "perspective." of course, thank you, ansley, emi, and jinx for the brainstorming sesh, too!
speaking of, paradigm distortion is based off of the game "perspective." if you don't know what it is, i suggest you look up gameplay videos to get a better idea of how the technique works. i tried my best LOL. it's super cool tho fr!!
hm, i think i hit everything important i wanted to touch on. thank you all so much for reading! throwback to last chapter, when i said "never let me write 20k words in less than 30 hours again." it's true that i did not write 20k words in less than 30 hours; however, i did write a new chapter update for With a Love I Seemed to Lose, Hot Off the Press, and 15 Minutes within the same weekend, and now here i am with Necessary Evil.
so, that's fun.
i think i've yapped enough. thank you guys so much for being patient with me and for reading this chapter and my long ass a/n <3
Chapter 4: Once We Were Gods
Notes:
welcome back in time for itafushi's blue spring.
ft. some shit i had to make up
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Yuuji grunts as he dodges an attack, rolling across the training floor as the glint of a needle whizzes by. To his right, Megumi is moving in and out of his shadows, weaving through threads that barely catch the light. It’s both majestic and terrifying. Megumi has only gotten better and better with his technique, and he’s been talking about wanting to start the subjugation ritual for Round Deer soon.
Yuuji has a lot of feelings about that, but namely, he’s excited and scared.
It’s not that he doesn’t think Megumi can do it. It’s just that he’s worried that he’s trying to do it too soon. Still, it’s hard to doubt him when he uses his technique so easily. So flawlessly. Something has shifted in Megumi in the few months since that last board meeting, and the way he fights is more ferocious and dangerous than anything Yuuji has seen from him before.
Even now, sparring against Hitori, the way that he sinks and reappears in a matter of seconds is impressive. Hitori’s technique is no joke, and it’s very hard to dodge. How he can see his threads so easily is beyond Yuuji. When he fights against Hitori, he’s almost always caught in the web, and he has to use Shrine to get himself out.
Still, even with their latest improvement, it’s clear that Sora and Hitori are both still in the early stages of sorcery. Even now, sparring one-on-one, Yuuji finds himself holding back. Sweat shines on Sora’s forehead, her hair pushed back into a ponytail with her bangs braided into it. Her brows are furrowed as she stares Yuuji down, flicking her hand to send another round of needles his way.
There’s an opening though. Her posture is slouched and her abdomen is exposed. As the needles cut through the air — surely headed right for him — he sends a single droplet of blood right to her, landing square over her stomach, and ducks out of the way just in time.
“Gotcha,” he calls out, gesturing to the speck of blood on her training clothes. “If that was a real attack, you’d be hit.”
She looks down, startled, and when she sees it, she groans. “That’s so unfair!”
Yuuji laughs, though a little winded, and starts to make his way over to her. “No, you just need more practice.”
“I could have sworn I had you,” Sora grumbles, her shoulders slouching.
“Oh, you nearly did,” he admits, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You would have no problem going against a Grade 3 curse. I’m sure of it.”
It seems to cheer her up, and she nods, pulling her ponytail over her shoulder and playing with one of the brown strands. The two of them look to the other side of the training room where Megumi and Hitori continue their sparring. From a single glance, Yuuji can tell that Megumi is going much easier on him than he did with Sora, but Hitori is younger, so it makes sense.
Megumi advances towards him with ease, seemingly one with the shadows, his face completely neutral as his eyes lock onto his target. Meanwhile, Hitori stands, both arms raised in the air like a puppet master, and if Yuuji squints, he can just barely catch the nearly invisible strings in the light, moving and following the movements of his hands.
Megumi’s eyes narrow as he makes his way to the first-year, and suddenly, he’s dropping into the floor, leaving nothing but a wisp of shadow that fizzles into the air. Hitori’s eyes go wide, and he immediately takes a defensive position.
“C’mon, that’s no fair!” he calls out to the gym, looking over to his sister and Yuuji for help.
Yuuji shrugs and replies, “You have to be prepared for anything,” as Sora whispers, “I’m glad I’m not going against Fushiguro-san.”
It causes him to laugh. “We’ll switch at some point. I want you to be able to fight both of us one day.”
Sora’s face goes red, and a twinge of nervousness overtakes her expression. “Yeah, right,” she squeaks. “I’m never going to get that good.”
They turn back to the fight, where Hitori is trying to weave a barrier around himself as Megumi remains in the shadows. It’s anyone’s guess as to where he might pop up, though Yuuji has a few good ideas.
Hitori looks around, holding his arms out with his palms splayed, both in defense and also to maintain his technique. However, he’s crouched lower to the ground than he needs to be, leaving the perfect shadow beneath him.
Yuuji huffs out a small laugh when a hand appears, grabbing Hitori’s ankle, causing the boy to yelp in surprise. In an instant, Megumi appears and takes Hitori down in one swift motion, using the leverage of his leg to throw him off balance.
Still, just as quickly as Hitori goes down, Megumi softens the landing with one of his toads, earning a small laugh from Sora. Hitori orients himself, rolling off of the toad and onto the floor. He glares back at his sister, but stands and straightens himself up when Megumi walks over. The two of them talk about the fight, Megumi giving pointers and Hitori listening intently.
Yuuji watches the scene — Megumi and Hitori, and Sora giggling to his side. He smiles to himself, feeling proud. These first-years, they’re good kids. They’re talented sorcerers.
“You’ll get there one day,” he says.
Sora stops laughing and turns to look at him. Her eyes are wide, both in shock and awe. “Do you really think so, Itadori-san?”
Yuuji continues to look at Hitori, at the hardened expression of determination on his face. He looks back at Sora, who shares that same drive, that same passion beneath her. It’s the most obvious answer in the world. The school has found a couple of good kids with the drive to improve and the skills to get them there. They just need a few more years. Maybe not even that. They’re already this talented as Grade 3 sorcerers, and they’ll only get better.
“I’m sure of it.”
A small smile twitches at the corner of Sora’s mouth, her eyes bright and gleaming as she turns back to her brother. Hitori and Megumi slowly make their way over, with Hitori practically bouncing as he walks, despite the loss from today’s training session.
Next time, Yuuji wants them to fight him and Megumi both at the same time. As a team. He wants to see just how far these kids can get while working together, and he thinks that will greatly affect how their missions are assigned.
In the back of his mind, he’s still reminded of the declaration from back in December. The board’s insistence that they should follow Yuuji and Megumi out on missions is still an absurd demand, but it’s not something they’ve had to worry about yet. Funnily enough, there haven’t been many missions assigned out recently, which is both relieving and worrisome.
Nobara thinks that it’s a good thing and that he and Megumi should enjoy the time off while they can. Megumi thinks that it’s troubling, but also not abnormal for there to be bouts of dry spells for curses and curse activity.
Yuuji thinks that this is some sort of calm before a storm.
Call him crazy or paranoid or what have you, but he’s worried that something is coming. Maybe it’s because his time with sorcery has been so chaotic that he doesn’t really know what a dry spell is like. Maybe it’s because he’s already been through hell and back, and his body is still in fight or flight mode, despite this year marking two years since everything went down.
It’s 2020, and things have been too quiet for Yuuji to truly feel relaxed. He’s unsure of what’s coming, but with this board, it doesn’t feel good.
“Nice going today,” Megumi says as he and Hitori approach. It snaps Yuuji from his self-spiral, and he finds himself looking into those deep green eyes he can never really get enough of.
“Thanks, Fushiguro-san!” Sora beams, running over to her brother. “Hey, you were really good, too.”
“Thanks,” he mumbles, falling in step next to her.
“How about we go into the city and get a treat?” Yuuji suggests. “I feel like we can wrap up here today, and then you guys can resume your classes tomorrow.”
“Do second years normally take on, like, apprentices and stuff?” Sora asks as the four of them start to make their way out of the gym.
“I think we’re more of a special case,” he answers, eyes flicking over to Megumi. “Besides, the school’s a little low on staff, and so they needed the extra hands in mentoring.”
“Do you think that we’ll be mentors next year?” Hitori pipes up, looking back and forth between Megumi and Yuuji.
“I suppose it’s possible,” Megumi replies. He thinks for a moment before continuing, “It’ll depend on how strong you get.”
“We’ll get strong!” Sora declares, pumping her fist. “Right, Hitori?”
“Yeah!” he agrees.
Yuuji chuckles, but there’s worry beneath it. He looks back at Megumi, who only presses his lips together, and swallows. If they can help it, Sora and Hitori will advance at a normal pace. The reason why Yuuji and Megumi have this extra task is because they are anomalies. A part of him also wonders if they’re meant to do this as a way for the board to keep them under control.
Both of Sukuna’s vessels. The board has a field day with it every time the curse’s name is brought up. If they have students to watch over — to care for — then they have a way to keep Yuuji and Megumi from acting out. Not like either of them would, but there are times when Yuuji fantasizes about dismantling the entire system.
Isn’t that what Gojo did?
How did they end up back where they were before?
Besides, he was sure if he attacked the board now, every nation in the world would have their weapons pointed directly at him. Directly at Japan. Directly at Megumi, too. No, he has to wait for something. A moment to strike. A reason for change.
As they make their way into the city, the first-years being more than happy to spend Yuuji and Megumi’s money on treats and snacks, Yuuji can’t help but just be worried. He misses a time when he wasn’t worried. When he and Megumi weren’t so caught up in the politics of it all that they could just exist together. Hell, maybe they could even actually talk to each other and figure out whatever the fuck they are beyond I love you’s.
He's so selfish. He wants to be so selfish, and yet he finds himself always acting for others. It’s different with the first-years, who he would do anything for, but this board… He feels like a lapdog. A thing that gets called on when they need it to bite, and a thing that gets called on when they need it to hunt.
When does Yuuji get the chance to do something for himself? When can he finally have this? Even for just a little bit.
Instead, he exists somewhere in an in-between state.
In between being a full-fledged sorcerer and being just another student at Jujutsu Tech. In between working for the board and hating their guts with a burning passion. In between being Megumi’s best friend and being something more.
The school year is ending in just a few months. Yuuji and Megumi will be entering their third year in the fall, and then what? The Exchange Event will probably pick back up. Maki, and Okkotsu, and Inumaki, will be entering their fourth and final year at the school. Hikari and Kirara will be gone.
And that will leave Yuuji and Megumi.
What will their future look like?
March 16, 2020
Sora and Hitori have such a drive for improvement. They’re always asking for extra training and lessons. The board is impressed with their dedication, but it just makes me nervous. They still expect them to shadow us on missions, because they think that we’re strong enough, but Megumi and I are still just students too.
This is ridiculous.
“Hey, what do you want to do for your birthday?” Megumi asks, turning his head so he can look at Yuuji.
Yuuji peers back at him, tracing the way that the light from the window bisects his face. They lie together in Megumi’s bed, side by side, with their hands intertwined, as the afternoon sun warms the room. Half of his face glows in the golden light, turning his green eyes warm, like moss in a summer pond.
The way that he looks at Yuuji is so soft, and it makes his heart race. A thousand butterflies dance in his stomach as he swims further and further in that summer pond. It seems so peaceful, despite the day that they’ve had. All the trainings and the lessons were a lot today, and Nobara was not holding back during any of her sparring matches.
Still, they’re here now, in the early spring, and it’s nice.
“Don’t we always just have a party in the common room with everyone?” Yuuji asks, rubbing the pad of his thumb across Megumi’s hand.
“Yes, but is that all you want to do?” he presses further, now fully turning on his side so that he can face Yuuji.
It’s silent for a moment. There’s a stillness in the air as he waits for an answer, but neither of them are in any rush, and it feels like they have all the time in the world. Even with the busyness of their schedules, this pocket in time feels so personal and intimate. There have been too few of these moments, and though Yuuji would like to stop and dissect what it all means, he doesn’t want to ruin it either.
He can wait, and they can figure it out together.
For now, he just wants to lie here, in the familiar scent of his best friend, their hands entangled, the sun shining, and the school at peace. He doesn’t know the last time he’s felt this relaxed, and he just wants to suspend this moment in time forever.
Just the two of them. Together in this bed.
Still, Megumi is waiting on an answer, though Yuuji doesn’t think he has it quite yet. “Did you have anything in mind?”
“Nothing in particular,” Megumi says with a soft sigh. He untangles his hand from Yuuji’s and slides it up his arm, absentmindedly rubbing his shoulder and bicep. “I was just thinking we could do something. Only us.”
“You think Nobara would kill us for that?” Yuuji snorts, but he turns on his side to face Megumi, too, and their faces are only inches apart.
“I think she would rather die than be left alone with us two now,” Megumi jokes as the corners of his mouth curl into a handsome smirk. His bangs sweep across his eyes, and Yuuji brushes them out of the way, lingering just barely over the scar on the right side of his face.
“Hm, I guess that’s fair,” Yuuji says, smiling. “We’re pretty insufferable now.”
All Megumi does is scoff, rolling his eyes, but there’s a hint of a full smile on his face, so Yuuji considers it a win. Propping himself up on his elbow, he leans over, unable to help his own smile as he draws nearer. It causes Megumi to pause, eyes still gleaming, and for a moment, it’s just them.
It’s the inhale before the exhale.
It’s the soft breeze brushing against your cheek.
Yuuji looks at Megumi, and his heart feels so full that it could burst right there. They’re so close, and he can’t help the way that his eyes dip, stealing a glance at Megumi’s lips, before they come right back up and find themselves locked in a look of love.
“Hi,” he says, smiling.
Megumi presses his lips together, trying not to smile, too. “Hi.”
And Yuuji can’t help it any longer.
He presses forward, capturing Megumi’s lips in a kiss, and it’s like the world dissolves around them. His nerves are alight, fire burning throughout his entire body as they move together, and Megumi’s hands come to cup either side of Yuuji’s face. He sighs in content, allowing himself to melt to the touch, and there’s a buzzing all around him as if the air around them is charged with electricity.
Yuuji tangles his fingers in Megumi’s hair, feeling the soft strands as he moves his hand up the back. Nothing could ever feel more right than how he does right now, kissing Megumi, being with him, loving him. Whatever they have, it doesn’t need a label. Not right now. They’re perfect together. They’re perfect with each other.
Why should they sit there and try to pick apart what they are when it’s so hard to dive into? What do you call someone who’s been at your side through your darkest moments? What do you call someone that you’ve risked everything to save? What do you call someone when it’s them — and only them — that can understand you, understand what you’ve been through, understand your pain?
There’s so much to him and Megumi that it gets lost somewhere in translation, but they don’t need to know, because they understand. Megumi shifts, pulling Yuuji closer to him, and it’s like they just fit together. They’re together, chest to chest, as if they were meant to merge. Two perfectly imperfect halves who have found one another and complete the other.
What do you call that? What do you label that?
Are they soulmates? Partners? Boyfriends? Lovers? Best friends?
No one word feels just right. No one word captures the feelings that Yuuji has. Even love doesn’t quite cut it. There’s just endless devotion as their lips move together, as they fall into each other, as they embrace one another.
Yuuji and Megumi.
Megumi and Yuuji.
That’s really the only way you can put it.
March 27, 2020
Guess I couldn’t be comfortable for too long. Megumi and I have a mission coming up, and the board is insistent that Sora and Hitori come with. Megumi’s really nervous, and I can tell that he is. He’s been staying up late and training more than usual. It’s not as bad as it was several months ago, but still…
I’m worried.
I keep having nightmares that we’re going to screw up. I’m scared that the first years are going to get hurt, and it’s going to be our fault. Megumi and I are strong. Right?
“Hey.”
Yuuji lifts his head from the car window as the world blurs past him. They’ve left the city long ago, and all that he can see are trees and fields and scattered towns. There are villages that are smaller than Nobara’s, farms that stretch on and on, and the slow-rising earth as they approach Sanbonyaridake — the location of their mission. Just outside of Nishigo, a small community exists near the mountain, with reports of curses that are starting to terrorize the land workers.
A Grade 1 curse, and a possible Grade 2.
Yuuji and Megumi have been sent on this mission, and with them, Sora and Hitori.
The first-years have very clear instructions — not from the board but from Yuuji and Megumi: Do not get involved under any circumstances. They have been strictly told to stay back, stay alert, and be defensive only when necessary.
Both Sora and Hitori sit next to Yuuji in the back. They’re collapsed onto each other, dead to the world as they sleep soundly in the car. He thinks they passed out about an hour into the drive. The report time for the mission was pretty early — even by Megumi’s standards — and this ride is a little over three hours long in the car.
He estimates that they’re nearly there, but in all honesty, it’s hard to tell.
It’s Sora and Hitori’s first time shadowing, and it’s Yuuji and Megumi’s first time being shadowed. Yuuji has been lost in thought for most of this ride, running over every possible scenario in his mind of things that could go wrong. He’s lost track of time, but it feels like they’re drawing nearer.
“Yuuji.”
In the front passenger seat sits Megumi, who’s already turned around and looking at him.
There’s a look in his eye that tells Yuuji that he’s nervous. Like there’s this bubbling feeling in his stomach, dread creeping down his spine. They haven’t spoken a single word the entire ride. It’s just been the car radio and occasionally Akari humming along.
Neither of them are in any position to do anything but think about this mission. They never wanted Sora and Hitori to be joining them in the first place. Yuuji and Megumi are only in their second year with the school, and while they may be strong, they’re not unstoppable.
What do they do if something goes wrong?
“Are you ready for this?” Megumi asks. There’s an edge to his voice, as if this question is also for himself.
They’re about to have two kids’ lives in their hands. Are they ready for it?
“I think so,” Yuuji answers, his voice a little shaky. “I can’t lie and say that I’m not worried, but we’re just going to have to make sure that we take care of things as swiftly as possible.”
Megumi nods as he glances back at the first-years. Sora has her head on her brother’s shoulder, and his head rests atop hers. They’re both out like lights. Neither are aware of Yuuji’s or Megumi’s nervousness, but it’s best that way.
The board wants them to shadow a mission and to try to pick up key strategies for exorcising curses. They think that it will help them be more prepared for missions, but there’s never a good way to do that. And this definitely isn’t right. A very “jump now, swim later” kind of method — similar to Gojo’s but undercut by the fact that he was fully capable of handling a Grade 1 and 2 curse.
Yuuji and Megumi will surely have no problem, but they don’t like collateral. The board seems to have no issue with it, however, and it’s put Sora and Hitori in a very dangerous position. They’re excited, of course, but they don’t have any clue what a mission looks like.
You can never really ease yourself into missions, but jumping into one like this is just plain stupid. The first mission knocks you on your ass — Yuuji knows that, Megumi knows that, every single sorcerer who’s ever worked for the school knows that.
But they started from the bottom and worked their way up.
The grading system was shit, the assessments were shit. Gojo was a bit too carefree at times, and he was always pulled away on missions that only he could handle. But it still had to be safer than what the board wants. These first-years haven’t even seen a proper mission, and their first exposure to one is going to be two curses that are either one or two grades higher than theirs.
Yuuji can feel his stomach twisting in knots. He just can’t stop thinking about something going wrong. Every time they were ever sent on a mission with a mis-graded curse, something went wrong. Yuuji died one time, and while that was orchestrated by the board, Megumi and Nobara nearly lost their lives, too.
If they lose Sora or Hitori on this mission, if they even get a scratch, Yuuji will make this board pay.
“We’re almost to the site,” Akari says, peering back at Yuuji in the rearview.
Megumi is still looking at the first-years, his expression unreadable, and sometimes Yuuji wants to be able to tell what’s going on in his mind. At times, it’s so easy. Yuuji can read Megumi like a book and find the words needed in all the little micro-expressions of his face. It’s so familiar, to be able to know Megumi, and yet…
There are still times when he’s closed off from the world. There are moments where his expression shifts, and it’s suddenly like Yuuji is standing before a bunch of closed doors. He wants to be able to comfort him, to ease his worries or at least bear them with him. Yuuji wishes he could tell Megumi that everything will be okay, but he can’t make that sort of promise.
The best he can do is reach out, placing a hand over his cheek. Megumi lets out a small exhale and leans into the touch, still looking at the first-years. They’re just so new to sorcery. Yuuji and Megumi are only a year or so older than them, and yet they seem so young. Their inexperience is obvious to anyone, and Yuuji almost envies it.
He should have been like this.
Instead, he stands where he is, nearly two years into sorcery, and he knows that he’s changed. He’s been fully consumed by it — a full-fledged sorcerer. There was no room for inexperience — not with what he was going through. He didn’t have time to be an amateur. To learn.
He wants to protect this for Sora and Hitori. This is what they deserve. They deserve to be amateurs. They deserve to learn and grow in a natural way. Not out of fear or survival.
When Yuuji pulls his hand back, Akari is slowing the car down. They sit outside of the village, filled with a few houses and a lot of land, and she parks at the end of the dirt road she took to get here.
“This is it,” she says. “The place has been cleared of all residents, and you’ll have to walk the rest of the way from here.”
Slowly, Sora and Hitori begin to stir.
Yuuji and Megumi thank Akari and turn to the first-years. Sora is rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, sitting up and yawning. Meanwhile, Hitori is stretching, rubbing his neck with a look of discomfort. They start to come back to the world, taking in their surroundings and the endless stretch of country landscape, and suddenly become more alert.
“We’re here,” Sora says, though it sounds a bit more like a question.
“We are,” Megumi replies. “Sleep well?”
They both nod, still groggy.
“Are you both ready, or do you need a minute?” Yuuji asks.
“We can be ready,” Hitori answers hurriedly.
Yuuji shakes his head. He doesn’t want to rush them, but he doesn’t want them to go into this mission half asleep. “No. You need to be awake and alert to be ready. We can wait.”
Hitori nods in reply and stretches once more. “Sorry, but it’s just so early.”
“Yeah, why the hell did they want us leaving at five in the morning?” Sora complains, stifling a yawn.
Megumi answers, “The village wants it taken care of as soon as possible. We needed to be here by eight.”
“That’s just brutal,” she says in reply. “How are you guys not tired?”
Yuuji and Megumi exchange a glance.
The real answer is that they’re too nervous to even think about being tired. Yuuji spent the entire ride trying to come up with the best way to keep Sora and Hitori safe, and he’s sure that Megumi’s been doing the same thing. They don’t want to say anything to scare them, however. Yuuji and Megumi want to express the danger of this mission, but they don’t want them to think that they’ll die in here.
So, instead, he says, “We want to make sure this mission goes as smoothly as possible. So, we’ve been strategizing.”
She nods, stretching.
They sit in the car for a bit longer, until it’s clear that the first-years are fully awake. They start to get a bit chattier, a bit antsy, and they keep eyeing the empty village. Yuuji and Megumi take that as their sign that it’s time to begin.
Getting out, they thank Akari once more, who steps out to prepare the curtain. Sora and Hitori are looking around in awe, staying close to Yuuji and Megumi as they take in the landscape.
It really is beautiful, that much is true. The mountain stands in the distance, covered in a bright, vibrant green. Spring is here, and all the colors of the trees are returning to nature, flowers are in bloom, and it’s a beautiful day. The air is fresh out here, much more than what they’re used to in the city, and it’s not very often that they get to see a sight like this back at the school.
“I bet if we came out here at night, we could see so many stars,” Sora says, looking up at the sky. The clouds are white and fluffy, drifting along a blue sea.
“We can see stars back at the school,” Hitori points out.
She only shakes her head. “It’s not the same. There are, like, three houses out here. I bet there’s zero light at night, except for the sky.”
Her brother only hums.
Megumi walks up to Yuuji, his hands in his pockets, and he bumps him with his elbow. Yuuji offers a small smile, letting the sight of him bring him relief. He looks composed. Elegant. All these things that Yuuji isn’t, but he’s comforted to know that they’re both thinking the same things.
Before, Megumi was someone that Yuuji always looked up to and admired. While that might still be the same, a part of it was out of awe, seeing a boy so integrated into sorcery and fighting that everything looked second nature.
Now, they stand on more equal ground. Together. He’s no longer trying to reach Megumi, trying to be like him. He doesn’t need to be like him, because they both work perfectly as themselves when they’re with each other.
“Are you ready, Yuuji?” Megumi asks, looking back out at the spread of houses.
Yuuji nods, rolling up the sleeves of his uniform. “Yeah, let’s go.”
The three of them start towards the village, waving at Akari. She nods and begins to cast the curtain, shrouding them in a large dome of darkness. The curses are nearby, that’s no doubt, and this will draw them out. Yuuji just hopes that when they do begin the fight, they can keep Sora and Hitori away from it all.
“This is a curtain?” Sora asks, looking around.
It looks like night, with an eerie purple glow. The world has fallen silent in here. Not even the bugs make a sound. Hitori takes a step closer to his sister, and he looks at his two upperclassmen.
“Are we safe?” he asks.
Yuuji and Megumi exchange a look. It would be a lie to say yes, but there’s no way they’re going to let either of them get hurt.
“Just stay near us,” Yuuji says.
They nod and follow behind as the group continues to make their way closer to the buildings. Already, Yuuji is picking up cursed energy, and he can tell that it’s strong.
He looks over at Megumi, whose eyes are scanning the area. Seeing him like this is like watching a switch flip. He becomes cold and calculating. Assessing. He raises his hands, forming the familiar shape of Totality, and from the ground, it rises from the shadows.
Behind him, Yuuji can hear Sora and Hitori whispering to each other. He glances over his shoulder, stealing a peek, and their eyes are trained directly on Totality.
It makes sense, he supposes. It’s their first time seeing it, and Megumi’s shikigami aren’t exactly friendly looking. It towers over them, walking next to Megumi, hunched over and sniffing the ground.
The buildings they approach look old and weathered. Yuuji doesn’t know much about this place, but it feels less like a village and more like a string of homes. There’s nothing but dirt and scattered tools, equipment that sits with rust coating the surface, and the occasional toy. The lack of people makes the mission easier, but it also only serves to make the place look depressing. With a sigh, they make their way past the houses and towards the open fields.
Reports place the curse sightings outside, which makes fighting easier but also a bit vague. If they’re roaming from place to place, then Megumi and Yuuji might have to split up, and if they do that, then they risk Sora and Hitori’s safety.
They know for a fact that there are two curses. One is a Grade 1, and the other may be a Grade 2. They have to be ready, and there can’t be any slip ups.
“Stop,” Megumi orders.
Every single person freezes in place.
“What is it?” Yuuji asks.
He looks over at Totality, whose nose is pointed up into the air, sniffing and growling. Megumi crouches low to the ground, reaching into his shadow for a weapon, and pulls out a mid-length sword with a curved blade. Sora and Hitori have gone completely silent, and that’s about when Yuuji feels the energy shift in the air.
Spinning around, Yuuji finds a house with a small porch. He grabs both of the first-years by the shoulders and orders, “Go to that porch and do not come off of it until we say so. Got it?”
They look at him, frightened, their eyes wide and mouths parted. Both kids nod, and he nods back, spinning them around and giving them a little shove until their legs start moving and they run to the porch.
Megumi takes a defensive position, scanning the area as Totality creeps forward, standing between Megumi and Yuuji and the open field before them. The air is still now, not a single breeze or sign of life. It’s just the four of them and Megumi’s shikigami, waiting for something to happen, as the cursed energy around them begins to well.
Then, bubbling.
A thick, liquid, bubbling sound grows louder, and Yuuji and Megumi find themselves looking down. The veil warps the lighting of the ground, turning the grass a dark, blue shade and making the shadows bend and stretch. Before them, a dark patch grows, not unlike Megumi’s shadows, but this patch bubbles.
It grows out, wide, until it can’t grow any more, and then it starts to rise. From the ground, a mass forms, made of what looks like tar or blackened mud. It’s humanoid, sort of, with a single eye and three-fingered hands. The curse makes more of that bubbling, gurgling noise, but now the sound is amplified to a degree that almost makes Yuuji want to cover his ears.
It’s clear that this is the Grade 1.
He turns back to the first-years to check on them and sees Sora and Hitori hunched over each other, both hands over their ears with grimaces on their faces. They try to look back at him, but they’re more focused on trying to block out the sound.
For just a moment, their eyes lock, and that’s when the second curse appears.
It creeps from around the building, just behind the porch that Sora and Hitori stand on, tall with loose skin around its chest. Its form is more defined than the mud monster, with lanky arms that wrap around its stomach and a large mouth. It starts to careen back, mouth open, and it doesn’t click for Yuuji what it’s doing until he sees its skin expanding at the chest.
It’s taking a breath.
Yuuji’s eyes widen at the sight of it, and Sora has the unfortunate sense to follow his gaze. As soon as she finds the curse, she starts screaming, and Megumi turns around in response. Hitori clings to his sister, frozen in fear, and by the time Megumi has the chance to send Totality after it, Yuuji is already wielding Blood Manipulation.
It’s not perfect, but it doesn’t matter. It hits the curse with enough force to slam it back, throwing off its aim as a gust of wind is sent straight into the air. Blood coats the curse’s front and splatters across the grass, turning it to a darker black color than it already appeared.
“Focus on that one!” Yuuji yells to Megumi, pointing back to the mud curse. He faces the wind curse, and shouts, “Sora! Hitori! Stay low! If you can get inside, do it now!”
Hitori is still frozen, terrified, but Sora nods. She creeps to the door, trying to stay low and unnoticeable, and pulls at the handle, wiggling it, trying to push and pull the door.
Nothing.
She looks back to Yuuji, her eyes wide with fear, and all he can do is swear under his breath.
“Just stay low!” he calls out. “Hold onto each other, and don’t leave that porch unless we tell you to!”
Sora only nods, clinging onto her brother as they sink to the wooden floor, huddled in a corner.
Yuuji can hear Totality growling behind him, focused on the first curse. He can’t see Megumi, and he doesn’t have the time to turn around and check on him, because the wind curse is starting to stand once more. The only thing that brings him comfort is the sound of Megumi’s grunts as he attacks, the wind whistling as his sword slices through the air.
He’s okay. Yuuji lets out a concentrated exhale, preparing to fight the wind curse. Focus on this one. He widens his stance, raising his arms. Kill it quickly. Get out fast. His hands come together in front of his chest, and he aims right at the curse. Protect Sora and Hitori at all costs.
With a deep breath through his nose, he exhales once more out of his mouth, and a stream of blood shoots out from the tips of his fingers.
It beams towards the curse in a straight, thin line. The wind curse is just getting back on its feet when it notices the attack and suddenly, it’s moving faster than it was before. It shifts to the side in a single sidestep, inhaling again.
Yuuji furrows his brows, trying to stay concentrated, when he’s suddenly hit from behind and goes flying forward. He tries to orient himself, catching himself on the ground and flipping upright from the momentum. Spinning back, he sees Totality in his place, slowly standing and shaking its head.
“Sorry,” Megumi calls out. “Are you okay?”
“Fine, just caught me off guard,” Yuuji replies.
Running over to him, Megumi helps Yuuji stand, the rough grip of his hand pulling him up. Yuuji dusts himself off, turning back to the wind curse as Megumi turns back to the mud curse.
They’re back to back, arms out, defensive. Sora and Hitori are still as close to the wall of the house as they can get, holding onto each other. Yuuji swallows as his eyes remain trained on his curse, but it doesn’t make a move.
“What’s happening?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” Megumi answers. “The mud curse has stopped attacking.”
“Mine did, too.”
Yuuji chances it, turning around to look back at the first curse. It’s staring right at the wind curse, a single eye that occasionally peeks through the dripping mud. He isn’t sure what’s going on, but he doesn’t like how quiet it is. Turning back to the second curse, it also stares at the mud curse.
But there’s something wrong.
They’re not just looking at each other.
“Fuck,” Megumi curses.
“What is it?” Yuuji asks, backing up until they press against each other.
“They’re communicating!” he yells.
And then both curses attack at once.
A gust of wind knocks into Yuuji, sending him flying just as the mud curse strikes Megumi with its hand. Megumi grunts rolling across the grass as his sword lands next to him.
Yuuji reorients himself in time to dodge another attack from the wind curse. This time, it’s more pointed. The wind acts as a blade as it cuts into the earth, creating a small crack just to Yuuji’s left. He looks at the curse with wide eyes.
That power, that calculation, that sentience to avoid his attacks.
“This curse is a Grade 1, too!” he shouts, his hands flying to use Piercing Blood.
Megumi curses somewhere behind him, but he doesn’t have the time to turn around and check on him. The hairs on his arms stand, and there’s a charge in the air as a flash of light illuminates the entire field. Megumi’s summoned Nue now, too. Right on cue, he hears it screeching and the sound of its wings flapping.
Meanwhile, Yuuji exhales and sends another beam of blood towards the wind curse. This time, he moves with it, intending to cut into it. The curse counters it with its breath, blowing a stream of air that offsets his path.
Changing strategies, Yuuji moves, running as fast as he can. He reaches the curse, charging his fists with cursed energy, and reels his arm back. The punch lands solidly on the curse’s abdomen, sending it into the air just as Divergent Fist takes effect, causing it to hit the ground with a loud thud.
Dust kicks up into the air, but Yuuji has no time to wait. He raises his hand, first two fingers extended, and points at the curse. An invisible cut moves through the world, slicing into the curse’s flesh. It cries out as purple blood oozes from the wound, made at the loose skin of its neck.
Now, it can’t charge for an attack.
Behind him, Nue screeches again and Totality roars. It’s reflex, the way that Yuuji’s head snaps to Megumi. He doesn’t mean to do it, but he can’t help it. In the brief moment his focus is deterred, he sees Megumi hit the ground, landing on his side with a cry of pain, and that’s when Yuuji is hit.
He doesn’t even really know what happened or how it happened. All he knows is searing, burning pain in his left shoulder, and his arm isn’t moving how it’s supposed to. He turns back and sees the wind curse standing over him, still bleeding but strong. He grits his teeth as its long arm comes down on him.
Yuuji rolls to the side, but it’s not perfect. He’s out of breath, his shoulder is likely dislocated, and he just doesn’t move fast enough. Its claws cut through him, shredding his uniform and scratching his side, just below his ribs.
The cuts are deep. They bleed, and he yells at the pain that burns from both wounds. He doesn’t even have time to activate Reverse Cursed Technique. The curse is raising its arm again, and he can’t let it strike another time.
Yuuji lays on his back, raising his good arm into the air. He grits his teeth, knowing that the timing has to be perfect. His other arm lays at his side, and he’s bleeding profusely. He needs to heal himself and fast.
Still, he waits.
The curse’s arm comes down, aiming for his face, and Yuuji almost smirks. Perfect.
Its clawed hand cuts through the air, flying at him, and just as it reaches arm’s length, Yuuji grabs it, activating Cleave. In an instant, the arm disconnects into multiple pieces. The curse wails, but Yuuji’s already done it. It explodes, coming apart in chunks as blood rains down on Yuuji. He coughs, still in pain, but there’s a smile on his face.
Take that, you fucking bastard.
It’s the last thing he thinks before the world blacks out.
April 10, 2020
Two Grade 1s.
They sent us in there with two first years and two Grade 1s.
“Maybe a Grade 2” BULLSHIT.
The board is lucky that nothing bad happened, but that village is basically wiped off the map. When I came to, houses were destroyed, and chunks of curse flesh were dissolving all around me. There’s a meeting to go over the mission coming up in an hour. I don’t know what I have to say, but I don’t plan on holding back.
“Are you fucking serious?” Yuuji yells.
He’s practically screaming, red in the face, feeling the veins in his throat and forehead bulge until they feel like they’re going to burst. Sitting next to Megumi, whose hand grips his own, he can feel himself shaking with rage.
They sat through the introductory part of the meeting. They listened to their stupid, selfish, political spiel about curses and low numbers and whatever else. They waited until the mission topic came up.
Now, they’re here, and Yuuji can’t even suppress himself anymore. He’s been holding this in since the second he walked through the door, and now all eyes are on him, and he needs to make sure that they know.
“You’re all fucking cowards,” he spits.
Okkotsu looks over at him with concerned eyes, and Kusakabe won’t even glance his way. He’s too busy staring at the table, head down, and Yuuji hopes that he feels at least an ounce of shame. He’d like for that shame to eat at him, to crush him under its weight, as guilt rises and pours out of his mouth in the form of an apology, but he’ll take what he can get right now. Silence will do.
“You nearly got those kids killed on that mission, and you have the nerve to ask us how it went?” Yuuji asks.
It’s rhetorical, of course, but the shriveled parchment paper of a board member — Gakuganji — answers him anyway: “We need to know the details of what happened.”
Yuuji scoffs, sitting back in his chair, and shakes his head.
Now, it’s Megumi who speaks. “You have the mission report. We were very thorough. Read it.”
“We have read it,” another member says. She has an accent. Of what kind, Yuuji doesn’t know. Or care. “We want to hear about it from you.”
Kusakabe leans forward. “I think it’s pretty clear that one of the curses were—”
“From Itadori Yuuji or Fushiguro Megumi, please.”
Kusakabe’s mouth tightens into a thin line, and he sits back in his seat with his arms crossed.
“There was no second Grade curse,” Yuuji says, his voice strained. He’s trying so desperately to remain calm. “They were both a Grade 1.”
“And you exorcised it with no problem?” Another politician asks.
Yuuji can only scoff. “Sure. I was in the infirmary for two days, and Sora and Hitori wouldn’t stop crying even after the curtain dropped. But, yeah, the mission was perfect.”
His voice drips with obvious sarcasm, hitting the table and the board’s ears like acid, sizzling with hatred and vicious animosity. The truth is that the mission, overall, was pretty okay for two Grade 1s. Yuuji suffered from a dislocated shoulder and some nasty gashes on his side, while Megumi only got off with a couple of broken ribs and some cuts on his arms.
Ieiri had insisted that Yuuji remain in the infirmary for a bit while she worked on treating him slowly so it all healed properly. That also gave her a chance to show him more about RCT and how to use it for more complicated injuries, considering he was still pretty new to it. She’s also been teaching him how to apply it to others, but it’s not something that he’s perfect at.
All in all, the mission would have been fine.
If not for Sora and Hitori.
They’re okay. They’re shaken up, and they got to have the following two days off from classes and training, at the insistence of Megumi, Yuuji, and Ieiri. The issue is that they were absolutely terrified. To them, Yuuji and Megumi are the strongest people they know, and not only were those curses terrifying, but they both did some pretty significant damage to the land and to them. That mission should not have been their first exposure to a curse, and they’re lucky that the only lasting damage that occurred was what happened to the town.
Or what’s left of it.
“The first-years were not hurt?” Gakuganji asks, his voice shaky and unstable.
Yuuji grits his teeth, clenching and unclenching his fist under the table, and says, “Not physically.”
With a hum, the Kyoto principal replies, “Then they may continue shadowing.”
“Like hell they will!” Megumi bursts, standing from his seat. He drops Yuuji’s hand, glaring at the screen. It’s like daggers in his eyes, the way that he stares, with nothing but hatred and fury. “No. We’re done doing that. They will train. Like normal.”
“You followed Gojo Satoru on missions, did you not, Fushiguro Megumi?” a member asks. Then, to Yuuji, “As did you?”
“That’s different,” Yuuji snarls. “Gojo-sensei was a Special Grade, and he was the strongest sorcerer, like, ever. We’re not like that. We can’t guarantee their safety, especially not when a curse is mis-graded, and this mission proves it!”
“Gojo Satoru was evidently not the strongest,” another board member points out. “Seeing as he was killed.” Then a pause. “By you. Fushiguro Megumi.”
And Yuuji is already moving towards the screen, his blood boiling through his veins the way that cursed energy hums to life with a Black Flash. He can already feel that building sensation and the desire to end this all.
Right here. Right now.
Yuuji has seen Megumi’s nights. He’s seen the guilt, the regret painted on his face every time he’s reminded of Shinjuku, and it’s not like that just goes away. There are mentions of it constantly. The world felt that impact, and Megumi knows that it was his body — his technique — used to stain the earth with innocent blood. Used to kill his own sister.
It’s barely been a year and a half since Shinjuku. The world is still recovering, Tokyo is still recovering, Megumi is still recovering, and they don’t get to sit there behind their faceless figures and insult him, demean him, or remind him of everything that happened.
Not like that.
Pinning Gojo’s death on him is low. It’s evil. It’s heartless. Everyone knows that Megumi wasn’t in control of his body. Everyone knows that Sukuna took very specific steps to keep him down, and yet…
Megumi is silent, and that makes Yuuji angrier.
“How dare—”
“Maybe we can ask the first-years,” Okkotsu proposes, with his steady voice and mature demeanor. He steps forward, placing a hand on Yuuji’s shoulder, meant to look gentle, but his grip is strong.
For a moment, they make brief eye contact, and Okkotsu flashes a smile, with a look beneath it that says, I’ve got this.
He’s trying to placate, as he often does. It’s clear that he doesn’t like this any more than Yuuji or Megumi does, but Okkotsu is always the one who can get further along with the board than they can. Usually, it’s because he’s able to keep his cool, refraining from calling the board stupid every time they talk.
Yuuji’s done with civility, but Okkotsu’s hand remains on his shoulder, and he backs off.
“Let’s ask Sora and Hitori what they want to do,” Okkotsu reiterates.
“Yeah, they should get a choice,” Kusakabe agrees, flicking a toothpick across the room. It lands on the floor with a small tap. “They’re the ones in danger.” He looks directly at the board. “Not you.”
Yuuji clenches his jaw, and Megumi slowly sits back down, albeit more tense than ever. Silence falls across the room, and people consider the suggestion. Ideally, this wouldn’t even be a question, but if the board agrees to listen to Sora and Hitori, then this could be their only shot.
After a moment of deliberation, a member speaks, “Fine.”
Yuuji and Megumi look at each other, and for a moment, there’s relief in their eyes.
“At the next—”
“No.” Kusakabe glares at the camera, his fist hitting the table with a resounding thud. “We’re not asking them in a meeting. Their answer might be swayed.”
Yuuji’s surprised by the sudden outburst, but he can’t say that he disagrees with it. Tensions rise all around them, but Kusakabe doesn’t back down, his gaze firm. Slowly, he turns to Yuuji and Megumi.
“I will ask them, record their responses, and let you all know of their decision,” he says. It’s more to the board than it is to them, but Yuuji finds himself sighing with relief and nodding anyway.
Maybe Kusakabe isn’t so useless on this board after all. Maybe he’s biding time, slowly building his influence with the board. Either way, he appreciates it.
“I’m okay with that,” Yuuji eventually says. He looks over at Megumi, who’s still staring at Kusakabe.
The wheels are turning in his mind, and Yuuji knows that he’s going over every possible scenario, but maybe leaving it up to the first-years is the best option. They’ve seen firsthand how dangerous these missions get, and they must know that Yuuji and Megumi can’t guarantee their safety.
With a sigh, Megumi slumps into his chair. “Okay.”
April 17, 2020
Sora and Hitori are training more than ever. They have such a drive that seems to be more… intense (?) lately. I’m a little nervous for them but I don’t know how to ask them if they’re okay. Maybe I’ll talk to Sora. I know Kusakabe-sensei already talked to them about missions…
“Hey, Sora,” Yuuji calls, jogging through the halls to catch up with the first-year.
She turns to look at him, a bit surprised, but her face relaxes and she slows down. “Hi, Itadori-san.”
“What are you up to?” he asks, nodding to the books in her hands.
Sora glances down and says, “Oh. I’m going to the common room to study. Do you want to come?”
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something,” he replies.
A small look of concern washes over her face, but she nods, and they stop in the hall.
The sun is starting to set, peeking through the windows with its orange light. The wooden tones of the floor and doorframes glow, and it’s a little later into the day with the approach of summer.
Yuuji is nervous.
Summer means their busy season, and he’s unsure what that might mean for Sora and Hitori. They’ve had a few small missions here and there, but nothing too big or out of their league. No, their focus is on training and shadowing, which has been on a temporary hold ever since their first time following Yuuji and Megumi out into a mission.
He’s unsure how much more free time he’ll have once missions start picking up. It feels like he keeps getting called away when he’s not in class or training or mentoring. Yuuji doesn’t remember the last time he just got to exist, and most of his nights are spent catching up on sleep — if he gets any.
He barely sees Nobara, he might see Megumi before they fall into bed together, and it’s a miracle if he ever hears from any of his upperclassmen. It’s like he’s stranded on this little island, out in the middle of the sea. It’s starting to get to be too much, and he’s not sure how much longer he can go with something like this.
“What’s going on?” Sora asks, looking up at him.
Yuuji blinks, and he’s suddenly back in the halls of Jujutsu Tech. His heart yearns for easier days, but that’s not in the cards for him. Not anytime soon.
So, instead, he schools it. Like he always does, he boxes up his own selfish desires and sets them aside. Smiling, he looks back at Sora and asks, “Did Kusakabe-sensei ever approach you about missions?”
He gets his answer when her face falls and her skin goes pale. Her gaze flicks down, staring at the books in her arms, and she mumbles, “Yes.”
Yuuji doesn’t like that answer.
He doesn’t like how she says it. Something’s happened.
“Do you want to tell me about it?” he presses, trying to keep his tone soft.
Sora sighs, chewing on her bottom lip. She walks over to the wall and leans against it, like she’s too tired to stand upright. Yuuji follows, reaching out for her books, and she wordlessly passes them off to him and replies, “I don’t want to keep shadowing.”
The way she lingers on the last word has him waiting for more. “But?”
She stares at the floor for a moment — just a moment — and says, “Hitori does.”
Yuuji feels his heart drop, sinking down to his abdomen, to the floor, taking his stomach with him. His chest tightens, and it feels like he can’t breathe, but he can’t let his nerves show. He doesn’t want her to be more worried than she probably already is.
“Why is that?” he asks.
Sora looks back at him, and there’s guilt in her eyes.
It’s the same sort of guilt that he’s seen on Megumi’s face time and time again — late at night, when no one else is around to hear their cries. He knows that look all too well, because it’s one he finds on himself when he looks in the mirror for too long, when he sees the jagged scars across his face and the missing digits on his hand. It’s a reminder of death, in a way, and it’s Yuuji’s fault.
“He wants to protect me,” she answers, and her voice is so small.
And, Tengen, does Yuuji know the effects of that.
A little brother putting himself on the line to protect his sister, willing to risk his safety — maybe even his life. Megumi is going to be talking to Hitori, if he’s not already this instant, and there’s something inside of Yuuji that aches for him, because he’s going to be looking at his underclassman, and he’s going to see himself.
Yuuji sighs, knocking his head back against the wall. He doesn’t know what to say, which is fine, because Sora isn’t done.
“He said, after that mission, he wanted to make sure that he became strong enough to protect us both from curses like that,” she explains. “I kept telling him that we can get there in a safer way, but he said that it doesn’t matter when we’re on missions.”
Sora shakes her head and huffs out a small sigh.
“Kusakabe-sensei asked us if we wanted to continue shadowing, and when my brother said yes, I said yes, too,” she mumbles, staring down at the floor.
Yuuji turns to look at her as the feeling of dread rises within him. He was so sure that they would both say no. He was so sure that he and Megumi would be able to protect them from this board, and yet…
“Sora, you have to tell him you changed your mind,” he insists.
Now, she’s looking back at him, eyes wide and full of disbelief. “And let him shadow you and Fushiguro-san by himself? No way.”
“Sora, you have to,” Yuuji says. “I— we’ll talk to Hitori. We’ll tell him to change his mind.”
She shakes her head. “He’s certain of it.” Tears start to well. “He’s even started training more during our down time. He wants to be strong. Like you.”
“That doesn’t just happen, and certainly not like that,” Yuuji argues, pushing off of the wall to stand. His voice is growing louder, but he can’t help it. This is the worst case scenario. They both saw how dangerous their missions can be. They cannot go back out there. “If you come with us on these missions, you will die.”
Sora’s crying now. Silent tears streak her face, and Yuuji realizes that this is probably something she’s very much aware of but has no choice in the matter. “I can’t force him to say no. And if he goes, I’m going.”
Yuuji sucks in a sharp breath, staring up at the ceiling, trying to come up with any sort of solution. The answer escapes him, however, and all he can do is apologize.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m so sorry. Megumi and I, we both tried to tell the board this was a bad idea, and they’re not listening to us. Sora, you have to understand, we don’t want you coming with us.”
“I don’t want to go on these missions,” she admits, her voice shaky and broken. She’s trembling where she stands, looking up at him through the tears in her eyes.
She looks so small.
A little dove, terrified of the world before it. Surrounded by things that are constantly trying to kill it. A part of a system that won’t support it. Will it ever be able to spread its wings, or is it going to fall from the nest before it can even hope to fly?
Yuuji doesn’t know what to do other than drop the books he’s holding and hug her. He pulls her close as she sobs into his shirt, clinging to him like he’s the only thing keeping her alive. The problem is that at times, he is, but he can’t keep doing it forever.
One day, the other shoe will drop.
A book hits the floor and echoes through the hall.
And all Yuuji can see is another body being added to the pile.
April 25, 2020
It’s officially decided that Sora and Hitori will keep going on missions with us. Megumi stormed out, and I just about followed him, but I needed to stay behind and stress to the board that we cannot protect them on these missions.
We tried to tell Hitori that it wasn’t safe, but he wasn’t having it. He’s stubborn. Like most sorcerers are. When he learned that we tried to push them to stop shadowing altogether, he got really mad, and now it feels like he’s distancing himself from everyone. I can feel Sora following him. Her quiet determination is set on keeping them both safe, and Megumi and I don’t know what to do.
“Come on, guys, it’s our first day off in a long time,” Nobara whines, crossing her arms over her chest. She glares at both Yuuji and Megumi, who stand before her in the doorframe of Megumi’s room. She’s since given up on teasing them about sharing a room together, but she didn’t let the raised eyebrow go unknown when they both answered the door.
“I just don’t know if I want to go out today, Nobara,” Megumi huffs, leaning against the wall. “It’s mine and Yuuji’s first true day off. I kind of want to spend it staying in.”
She only scoffs in reply. “Why? So you and Yuuji can—”
“Nobara,” he warns.
Nobara simply rolls her eyes. “Please stop being so fucking boring. I’m bored, Maki’s out, Okkotsu and Inumaki are at the Gojo estate, and the first-years are training. Please, can we do something fun.”
Megumi looks over at Yuuji with a bored expression, but his eyebrows are raised as if to ask him his opinion. Yuuji’s honestly pretty split, fifty-fifty. It has been too long since the three of them got to have a day together, and it’s felt even longer since he and Megumi had time to do the things that they want to do. The board keeps hounding them about shit that he couldn’t care less about, and he just wants to spend time with the people he loves.
“Itadori Yuuji, please don’t tell me you’re turning into Megumi,” Nobara pleads.
Yuuji lets out a small laugh, a smile spreading across his face, and Megumi’s expression tells him that he knows he’s lost. With a defeated sigh, he pushes himself off of the doorframe and says, “Give us ten minutes to get ready.”
Both Nobara and Yuuji let out a victorious, “Yes!”
“Meet me out front, ‘kay?” she asks.
“Yeah, yeah,” Megumi says, turning back into the room.
He walks off, leaving Yuuji by the door. “Thanks for this, Nobara. It’ll be good. For both of us.”
Nobara blows a strand of hair out of her face and says, “Don’t I fucking know it. The board’s been working you two to death. It’s pissing me off.”
“Tell me about it,” grumbles Yuuji. He crosses his arms and glances back into the room. Megumi stands before his closet, picking out something to wear to the city that’s not his sweats and an old shirt that he stole from Yuuji.
Nobara follows his line of sight and leans in closer. “So, this… thing you two have going on.” She leans in close to whisper, “What’s up?”
Yuuji’s still watching Megumi, staring at his silhouette. He has such sharp and beautiful features. It’s a little weird for Yuuji, how quickly his love devoted itself to someone like Megumi. Not to say that it was impossible, but it’s crazy how, in just under a year, Megumi became the most important person in the world to Yuuji.
He admired him, loved him, lost him, and now… this.
Whatever it is.
Yuuji is sure that it’s love, but it’s sort of like that’s not quite the right word for it. It runs deeper than that. It feels deeper than that. Yuuji wants to explore it more, but with what time?
They exist in this space; a world between worlds. It’s the pause before the exhale. It’s the sliver, miniscule, distance between cells. Yuuji doesn’t know if he can ever have Megumi, in the same sense that nothing is ever technically touching anything. Not at the rate with which they’re moving. It’s all happening backwards, tangled and out of order, but maybe it doesn’t need to be “right.”
It just needs to be theirs.
Yuuji realized that he loved Megumi long before their first kiss, and they kissed before they dated, and they still haven’t had that talk about what they were, or if they were dating, or what that even means. No, they just kind of exist around each other. With each other.
It’s enough for now. Yuuji wants more, sure, but he’d never demand that, and he can’t expect it with all that they’re trying to do. Not with these missions. Not with this board. All he knows is that he loves Megumi, and Megumi loves him. And that’s enough.
It’s enough.
“I don’t know, to be honest,” he says, eventually, and Nobara only hums in reply. He’s still staring at Megumi, at the curve of his jaw and the way that he stands with a casual coolness, like that of a model.
Megumi grabs a crewneck and a pair of jeans and turns back to Yuuji and Nobara, catching Yuuji’s shameless staring. “Are we going or not?”
Yuuji blinks, still trying to find where, in all of this time and chaos and life, did he find someone like Megumi. The way that his dark hair falls over his eyes, contrasting the color of his skin and the emerald green of his irises. His calm and calculating demeanor. Someone who is smarter than Yuuji could ever be.
He wants to cling to it. To keep ahold of this delicate thing that they share, hoping that it doesn’t one day shatter. Nothing is guaranteed when you’re a sorcerer, but he has this thing, and it feels so certain.
His feelings are certain.
Nobara sighs, shoving his shoulder. Yuuji smiles and fake-stumbles into the room.
“I’ll let you two get ready,” she says. “Ten minutes. In front of the main school building. If you take any longer, I’m coming in here with cameras rolling.”
Yuuji finds himself blushing while Megumi just rolls his eyes, shooting back, “Shut up.”
Nobara only laughs and reaches for the door handle, closing it as she walks off.
“Come on, Yuuji,” Megumi says, taking his shirt off. “Let’s get out there before she starts spreading rumors.”
Yuuji lets out a small chuckle. “How much of the rumor will be the truth?”
“Not enough, knowing her,” he quips, but his lips form a handsome smirk that Yuuji wants to kiss away, so he walks over to do just that.
Megumi always kisses Yuuji like he’s something to be worshipped. It’s ironic, because Yuuji wants nothing more than to show Megumi just how much he means to him. He becomes a devout follower as they both create something sacred, and it’s a kind of faith that engrains itself into his bones. His very being, his whole essence, is consumed by what he holds in his arms, and he can’t find it within himself a reason to ever let it go.
When they kiss, it’s like something natural happens. It’s like how the ocean always rises and the wind always blows. It’s the sun in the early morning and the moon hanging in the sky at dusk. Yuuji finds his hands tangling in Megumi’s hair, and it’s like sitting outside in the soft grass, running your palm along the blades, feeling the warm light and taking in the scent of the fresh air in the springtime.
They move together the way that trees might bend in the wind. A push and pull. Back and forth. Give and take. Yuuji leaves a part of himself with Megumi every time they kiss, like how leaves fall to the ground. In single, little fragments until his heart sits in the palm of Megumi’s hands.
A part of himself stays with this other person, this other half of his, and he’s happy to leave it there.
Just like how he’s happy to take from Megumi, what he’s willing to give. His trust, his love, his fears, his grief. Yuuji takes it with gentle hands and holds it close to himself, bearing that weight alongside him, because that’s all he can do to be there for him.
Megumi’s grip on Yuuji’s shoulder tightens, and Yuuji pulls him impossibly closer, and they both kiss until they’re out of breath. Parting is like seeing a beautiful sunset shift in the sky as the sun dips past the horizon. Vibrant, bright colors, dimming into a darker, deeper blue.
Yuuji chases after his touch, but Megumi only chuckles, leveraging his hand on his shoulder to push him back.
“Ten minutes, or Nobara’s going to break down that door,” he murmurs, placing a chaste kiss on Yuuji’s lips. Pulling away, Megumi takes a step back, seeing the pout clear as day on his face, and he scoffs, teasing. “Should’ve told her we didn’t want to go out.”
“I’m regretting every second of it now,” Yuuji grumbles sarcastically, but there’s a smile on his face, and he starts getting ready to leave, too.
When they meet back up with Nobara, it’s at ten minutes on the dot. She makes a joke about how she thought about coming back to check on them but didn’t want to walk in on something she didn’t want to see.
Yuuji rolls his eyes, and Megumi tells her to shut up.
The three of them head off together, receiving a ride from one of the school managers to the train station. They catch up on life and training. It feels like it’s been forever since they’ve been able to sit and talk to each other in a conversation that extends beyond general pleasantries and passing remarks.
Despite them being in the same class, Yuuji feels like he and Megumi are so far removed from everything else. The board hounds them over so many things, and Megumi is still being roped into Zen’in clan politics when the issue arises. Although, Maki’s been doing a good job at handling it when he needs her to or isn’t around.
It’s just not ideal.
Yuuji thought that maybe with Sukuna gone, things could return to normal, and maybe they could have. If they didn’t lose so many people. If they didn’t lose the one person they needed to stick around. With Gojo gone, a void needed to be filled, and where did that leave them?
Still, even with all of the pressure and the stress and the constant breathing down their necks from the higher ups, they somehow find their rhythm again. Nobara drags them from store to store, and Yuuji and Megumi both fake-complain, but they go with her anyway.
She doesn’t comment on their casual touches or their longing glances. She doesn’t ask them what they are or demand them to explain anything to her. She lets them exist and have this moment. This soft pocket of time and space, where Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara can be Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara — a trio of second-years, exploring the streets of Tokyo together.
Yuuji carries her shopping bags, and Megumi keeps them from getting lost, while Nobara pays for treats and snacks. The three of them decide to stop and pick some things up for Sora and Hitori, and that’s how they end up walking through the city with more candy than they know what to do with.
It’s nice though. They walk until the sun starts to set and their feet start to feel like they’re falling off. Nobara complains about her back hurting, and Yuuji offers to carry the rest of her things. Megumi leads them through the city, back to the station, so they can meet with the manager to take them back to the school, and it ends just like any other day they used to have.
“I’m glad we got to do this,” Nobara says, huffing as she takes a seat on the train. She slides over to let Yuuji take a seat next to her, and Megumi joins him on his right. With a content sigh, she slouches into her seat, laying her head on Yuuji’s shoulder, and he takes a moment to brush a strand of hair out from her eyepatch.
“Me, too,” he agrees as he settles in. “It’s been too long.”
She hums in reply, already prepared to nod off.
Turning to Megumi, Yuuji offers a small smile and nudges his side with his elbow. “Thanks for coming along.”
Megumi rolls his eyes, but the corners of his lips curl up. “If I let you two go alone, you’d spend all of your stipend and get lost in the city.”
Yuuji laughs. “We’re not that helpless.”
All Megumi does is raise an eyebrow in response.
And for just a moment, that’s all they are.
They’re just teenagers on a train, tired from a long day out but content with how they spent it. Bags line the seat beneath their legs, protected from wandering hands and any nefarious passerby, and their wallets are thoroughly spent. Nobara is asleep on Yuuji’s shoulder, and Megumi and Yuuji spend the ride on their phones, leaning into each other’s space, comforting the other with their touch.
When was the last time that they had this?
When will they get to have it again?
May 26, 2020
It feels like all we’ve been doing is working. Even Nobara is starting to feel the effects of the summer busy season for sorcerers. I knew that summer is when curses start to appear more, but this is just insane.
I have a theory that the board is trying to use students more They keep pushing us, and I think it’s because they want more Special Grades.
June 10, 2020
Sora and Hitori were sent on a mission together. Megumi was sent to watch while I went on another mission. It apparently went really well, and he didn’t have to step in at all. They’re excited now and feeling confident. I don’t want to scare them, but I feel the need to remind them that not all missions will go like that.
Still, we celebrated. Partially because they’re now technically second years, but it’s summer, so they’ll start in the fall. It’s weird to think that I’m a third year now…
June 18, 2020
Nobara and I baked cookies for the students. It started out as Nobara wanting help baking something for Maki, but it somehow turned into 40 cookies — excluding the 12 burnt ones she made. I made fun of Nobara, because she can cook, but apparently something was wrong with the oven. Oops.
It’s been nice though lately. Missions are a lot, but things aren’t so bad right now. I just keep getting this feeling that something is going to happen. Nobara told me all the cookies I ate are just making me feel bad.
July 3, 2020
Kusakabe told me that there was another meeting with the board. Apparently, both Sora and Hitori were insistent that they want to accompany more of our missions, and they’re fully aware of the danger that it presents.
Megumi and I… did not take it well. There was a lot of yelling. I don’t even remember who started yelling first, but it was so bad that Okkotsu had to step in. Can’t they see that we’re trying to protect these kids from dying??? Is that not the goal for everyone else??!
Yuuji is walking through the girls’ dorm hall toward Nobara’s room when Sora opens her door and steps out. She catches him with a brief smile, before walking off, and Yuuji falters in his step for a moment.
“Sora, wait!” he says, turning around.
She glances back, confused, and asks, “What’s up?”
Yuuji bites his bottom lip, craning his head to look at Nobara’s closed door. He was on his way to talk to her about a mission she had recently, in which she successfully took out two Grade 1 curses, simultaneously and completely on her own.
But Sora and Hitori have been so focused on training that he doesn’t get a lot of time to stop and talk to her, and, well, this is something that he wants to talk about.
He sighs, bracing himself for the conversation, before he shoves his hands in his pockets and walks towards her. “I was notified by the board that you and Hitori both confirmed you wanted to keep shadowing mine and Megumi’s missions.”
For a moment — just a moment — she freezes, and her eyes flick away before coming back to him.
“Yes…” she says. Slowly. Hesitantly. “What about it?”
Yuuji can feel his jaw tightening before he forces himself to relax and asks, “What happened?”
A nervous smile. “What do you mean?”
He shakes his head. “Don’t think I don’t remember our conversation back in April. You said you didn’t want to do this.”
Sora shrugs, but she looks stiff. Really stiff. She offers a small smile that doesn’t convince Yuuji of anything and replies, “I guess I just… changed my mind.”
“Sora.”
“Hitori is confident that it will be okay, and I’m going to support him.”
“Sora.”
“You and Fushiguro-san are both strong! I’m sure that we’ll be fine.”
“Sora.”
“Besides, how else are we supposed to get stronger? We want to be as strong as you are one day.”
“Sora,” Yuuji says, his voice loud and firm.
She clamps her mouth shut, swallowing, and it’s like he’s watching a person shrink into themselves in real time. Sora stands there, in this hall, looking smaller than ever, but she’s not backing down, and that’s what’s scary.
She’s not backing down.
“These missions are dangerous. I cannot stress that enough,” he explains, his voice low and steady.
Sora looks down at the floor, picking at invisible lint on her shirt, and shrugs, though she holds her shoulders high for just a moment before letting them drop. Like dead weight.
“We’re going to go on these missions with you,” she mumbles. “It’s for the best. It’s the only way we’ll get strong.”
Yuuji feels like he’s standing before her, with a glass wall that divides them. It’s like he’s looking to her. Not at her. There’s something there, in the space between, that keeps him from reaching her, but he still tries.
He takes a step forward.
She takes a step back.
“If anyone on that board is telling you that you have to go on these missions…” he starts. He’s trying his best to remain calm, but he can’t help the venom that bleeds from his words. The hatred that he feels.
Sora shakes her head. “This is my choice. Our choice.”
Now, she’s looking him in the eye. Her own eyes are fierce with determination and a sort of familiar stubbornness he once saw in his grandfather shortly before denying all those treatment plans. Sure, it was his choice, but it killed him.
“I’m serious,” Yuuji reiterates. “This is going to be dangerous. We cannot guarantee your safety.”
“Well, you’re not my dad or my brother or anything like that!” she snaps.
Her own words are sharp, and they cut Yuuji deep — deeper than anywhere he thought he could have been hit. It sits within him, a resonating pain that ricochets off of the walls of his heart. He stands there, silent, and lets her speak.
“We’re going on these missions,” Sora insists. “We have to get stronger, and we’re not going to do that by playing around with toys in the training room. I have to protect my brother. That’s my job!”
And she storms off.
July 28, 2020
Training has been more rigorous than ever. The second years barely want to talk about anything that’s not sorcery related when we’re in training. Sometimes it feels like they’re the ones leading it, but me and Megumi just want to make sure that they’re still having fun.
Megumi says that Hitori’s practically shut himself in. I think having them come with us on that first mission flipped some sort of switch. It’s like being around us makes him feel weak? I don’t know. Sora’s just trying to support him. There are times when I think she’s reaching out to me, but she’s putting her brother first.
I guess I can’t blame her there.
August 13, 2020
I think Megumi is training more again. More than usual. He talks about wanting to tame Round Deer, and I want him to too. I do. But I don’t know if he’s doing it the right way. Is there even a right way?
We want to take the pressure off of Sora and Hitori, but it feels like they’ve fully fallen into sorcery. It’s like it’s consumed them. We have good times together, but ever since I talked to Sora back in July, there’s been a rift, and I can tell that it’s there.
I’m blaming the board for this. The second years have gotten it into their heads that they need to be like us or they will die, and I know that we weren’t the ones who put that idea in their heads. With a mindset like that, I don’t know how much longer they can keep going on like this.
Yuuji rolls over in the night and finds the spot next to him empty.
It’s really late, and he barely has half a mind to register the cold sheets on the bed, but he’s used to a body being there. Squinting and blinking his eyes, the world starts to come into focus as he pats the bed aimlessly, in search of someone who isn’t there.
A cool blue light streams through the sliding doors, and when Yuuji finally, properly opens his eyes, it’s easy to tell that he is lying in his bed. Alone. He blinks a little bit more, rubbing the sleep away, and peers into the night.
Megumi was here, but now he’s not.
Checking the time, it’s a little bit past four in the morning, and there’s no sign of him. A part of Yuuji tells himself that Megumi is probably just up, getting water or something, and he’ll be back later, so he should just turn over and go back to sleep. But there’s another itch that tells him that something else is going on. Yuuji racks his brain, asking himself, what’s different, what’s different, what’s different?
And then he finds it.
Megumi’s missing, yes, but so is his jacket. It usually hangs from the back of the door, among the endless hoodies and jackets that Yuuji has, but Megumi’s is missing. Yuuji stands from his bed, stretching because he’s still so tired, and he shuffles through the room, sliding into his slippers before he opens the door and steps out into the hall.
The school is silent. Everything around him is still, and the halls are dark. Yuuji’s always found the school to be creepy at night, but now it seems worse than ever. The shadows seem to move around him, and the exhaustion from the previous day is still weighing heavy on his body.
He starts towards the common room first, but he already knows that it’s a lost cause. Still, he didn’t find Megumi’s phone to be missing, which means that he can’t call or text, and Yuuji has a feeling that Megumi wouldn’t pick up anyway. Walking through the school, Yuuji checks the kitchen, the common area, the gym, and even Nobara’s room just to see if the light is on.
Nothing.
He’s had this nagging feeling that he’s in the wrong place this whole time, but Yuuji doesn’t want to find what he thinks he’s going to find. Still, he pushes through, sighing as he wanders the hall and starts to make his way outside.
He doesn’t even care to change shoes. It’s too late, and he’s too tired, and he’s more focused on finding Megumi. There’s a warm breeze in the air. Summer in the mountains always leaves Yuuji feeling a bit cooler than he finds it to be in the city, and it’s nice to be above all of the smog and the humidity.
The stars are beautiful out tonight. There aren’t a lot of clouds in the sky, and the moon is nearly full. Late August brings Yuuji a sort of celestial beauty that he hasn’t had the time to stop and admire, and he takes a moment to just look up.
He wonders if Megumi is out here because of the sky. Do the stars remind him of something he’s lost? Do they whisper to him stories of his past? These same stars — which have seen him smile, weep, scream, and collapse — do they know him as Yuuji does? Do they know him better?
Yuuji finds his answer at the training field.
Megumi stands in the night, surrounded by his rabbits, in a defensive position. There’s tape over his knuckles and a sharp look of determination on his face. Even in the dim moonlight, Yuuji can see the shine of sweat and the curve of his mouth, dipped into a scowl as the rabbits continue to attack him.
He’s training more.
Yuuji knew this, but the stars knew it better.
He watches as a rabbit launches itself at Megumi with speed that Yuuji didn’t know it had. Megumi dips, dodging the attack, and spins around. The moment his fist connects with the rabbit, it disappears into the night, into his shadows, and another attacks.
They move all at once — Megumi, the rabbits, the flurry of attacks. If Yuuji were to be honest, he’s mesmerized. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen anyone move as gracefully as Megumi does in combat. It’s something that he’s always noticed — just how trained Megumi is in fighting.
Yuuji’s always been a great fighter, but Megumi is a smart fighter.
They’re pretty evenly matched when they spar, but Yuuji gets more of a pass out of sheer, brute strength. When he fights Megumi, it’s hard to know what he’s going to do. Yuuji moves in a way that’s unpredictable, but Megumi moves in a way that’s unpredictable and calculated.
So, he stands there, watching, giving Megumi this time with his rabbits. He wants to tell him to come back to bed, but he can’t say that he doesn’t understand. They’re both worried about Sora and Hitori, and they both want to protect them.
Megumi’s been pushing himself so he can tame Round Deer, and Yuuji thinks that he’s damn near ready to do it. The plan is to initiate the subjugation ritual next month. Megumi’s been studying what’s known about the Ten Shadows, and he’s been writing down everything he’s learned.
He pulled information from old texts, library books, first-, second-, and third-hand accounts, and he even went so far as to recall what it was like for Sukuna to use it. The countdown has started, and in a month, Yuuji just might see Megumi claim yet another shikigami.
Part of the reason why he’s pushing so hard for this is just because of what Round Deer can do. It outputs positive cursed energy. It can use Reverse Cursed Technique. If Megumi has this shikigami under his belt, then this changes the game for all of his fights moving forward.
This also means that any of his attacks using cursed energy won’t be effective. Round Deer can cancel all negative attacks with its positive cursed output, which means that Megumi needs to be ready to fight this fight without relying too much on his technique to defeat it.
Yuuji wants to tell Megumi to come back to bed. It’s late, and who knows how long it’s been since Megumi’s been out here. He wants to ask him to hold him close as sleep claims them both.
But then he sees four rabbits attack all at once, and Megumi takes every single one out with no problem, and Yuuji knows that he shouldn’t interrupt him now.
He watches for a bit longer. Until the numbers start to dwindle and Megumi’s movements begin to slow down. Yuuji watches, because he needs to make sure that he’s okay. He’s training more, but he’s okay.
Megumi stands in the center of the field, surrounded by nothing but his shadows, and his chest heaves. He catches his breath, wiping some of the sweat from his face, and then readjusts the wraps around his hands.
With a simple stretch to reset, his hands form the familiar shape for Rabbit Escape, and then hundreds of rabbits respawn once more. They surround him, waiting for a command from their master, with their red eyes focused to a point right at him. Again, Yuuji thinks.
It’s probably been nearly an hour now, and he’s sure that Megumi won’t be coming back to the dorms unless it’s to shower and begin the day. Yuuji sighs, disappointed, but he understands.
So, with one last glance, he turns back to the school and heads to his dorm.
August 29, 2020
Megumi said that he’s been trying something new with his cursed energy for the subjugation ritual. I don’t really understand it all that well, but it has to do with Tengen’s barriers. Somehow, he’s able to manipulate them?? or something???
I don’t get it, but he thinks it has to do with something that went down when Sukuna had taken over his body and Kenjaku had messed with Tengen and the barriers. All of these loose ends are starting to come back to bite us, and I don’t know if I entirely like the idea of Megumi carrying that all on his shoulders.
But he says that this could help him in his fight with Round Deer, and I like the idea of him having an upper hand more. Tengen, I’m just ready for this to be over. I get the feeling that something very wrong is going to happen.
September 21, 2020
Megumi’s ritual is tomorrow. He says that he’s ready, but I can tell that he’s nervous… or at least antsy. He’s been training non-stop, and ever since I told him about the time I found him training with Rabbit Escape, we’ve been training together. Tengen, he’s so strong now. His reflexes are insane, and he’s hard to keep up with when he’s moving. If I have to be honest, I’m less nervous than I was before.
Only four people are allowed to see the ritual. Megumi’s asked that I attend with Ieiri-san due to RCT. No one’s pointing out that I’m still learning how to use it on other people. Then Okkotsu is attending to represent the board, and Maki is attending to represent the Zen’ins. It’ll be a good group. A strong group. If anything goes wrong, we should be able to step in.
Right?
Yuuji stands next to Ieiri, who stands next to Maki, who stands next to Okkotsu. None of them speak, allowing the whisper of the trees to fill the silence instead. There’s a buzzing anticipation that zips between them — all around them — as they wait.
They just wait.
It’s a nice day out. Fluffy, white clouds drift through the sky, occasionally blocking out the sun, and the breeze is reminiscent of early fall. All around them is vibrant green. The trees are full of leaves, standing tall around them, and the grass is healthy and perfectly cut. It’s a sort of picture-perfect day, and yet…
Yuuji stands like a statue, still and stiff, as he clenches and unclenches his fists at his sides. He’s not sure why he’s so nervous, but he is. Without even stepping onto the field, he can feel Tengen’s barrier here — a low hum of cursed energy that exists all around them the way that white noise sits beneath everything else.
They line a large field carved into the mountains — a sort of sacred ground established by the school long before it was even a school. Just to Yuuji’s right is a torii gate that stands tall and imposing. It’s in perfect condition, with a bright color of red that contrasts the natural greens around it. Yuuji stares at it, knowing what’s about to happen.
This gate is where Megumi will enter the field and begin the subjugation ritual to tame Round Deer.
They’re waiting for Megumi now, who must enter this alone. He has to do it alone, and it drives Yuuji insane. They’re never alone anymore. They don’t fight alone, if they can help it, and when they do, it’s never something that Yuuji has to watch. He’s going to have to watch this, and there’s nothing he can do.
Megumi has to do it alone.
He tries to ignore the pang in his chest when he spots Megumi, walking along a dirt path with scattered stone plates. He makes his way up the mountain, towards the torii gate, and Yuuji wants to run to him. He wants to be near him, to comfort him, to support him, to be there for him.
But all he can do is watch in silent longing, knowing that this isn’t for him. It isn’t for them. It’s for Megumi.
Megumi’s expression is blank. He stares ahead at the field with a look that can only be described as disconnected. It’s like he’s not really here, walking up to this battle. It makes Yuuji nervous, but Megumi’s been preparing for this fight for a while.
Still, he doesn’t like it.
He doesn’t like that this is something that Megumi feels forced to do. He doesn’t like that this is happening on the board’s time, not Megumi’s. He doesn’t like that he can’t enter this field, and he doesn’t like that he can’t seem to shake this creeping dread.
It snakes its way through his stomach, up to his heart, curling around it like tightening vines. Yuuji is so scared, and he doesn’t even have a good reason why. He keeps telling himself that this is going to be fine. Megumi is strong. He’s capable. More than. He’s trained both with and without Yuuji, and he couldn’t be more ready for this ritual.
Yuuji swallows, and Ieiri must sense his nervousness, because she reaches out and places a hand on his shoulder, giving it a single reassuring squeeze before returning her hand to her side. Yuuji exhales slowly, watching the distance between Megumi and the field grow smaller, and then—
And then Megumi steps through the gate.
And the world falls silent.
Yuuji has stood in silence before. He’s existed in a space where everything goes still, and there was only the sound of his breathing to ground him. There have been times when he felt like he existed outside of it all — time, space — and everything else paused. Just for him.
But this is different.
This sort of silence isn’t like a held breath. It’s not like it’s waiting for something to happen. Megumi steps through that godforsaken gate, and then everything stops. The wind stops, the swaying trees stop, the buzzing insects around them stop, and it’s like living inside of a picture.
The moment Megumi crossed that barrier, the moment his foot hit the ground, it wasn’t like the world was taking a breath.
It was like something in the world died.
Yuuji watches as Megumi centers himself in the field. That familiar hum of the barrier’s power increases, and Megumi turns to the four of them watching and offers a small nod.
It’s his way of telling them that it’s going to begin. That he’ll be okay. This is all Yuuji will get for now. A simple nod to let him know that Megumi is ready. He stands there next to Ieiri and Okkotsu and Maki, and they all watch as his hands come up, the fingers of his left hand curling, while his right hand remains straight and flat.
The shape of a deer’s head is seen, and the shadow beneath Megumi’s feet starts to take shape.
It’s hard to see from where Yuuji is standing, but the edges of his shadow start to bend and curl. A dark spot starts to form on the ground, and Megumi takes a step back into a more defensive position as a deer begins to rise in his place.
Right now, it’s just a mass of liquid black. Shadows drip from its form as it continues to grow in size, and Megumi takes another step back, releasing his hands. He dips down for just a moment, reaching into his own shadow to pull out the sword he had used to fight the mud curse a few months ago. He also takes a moment to summon Totality, and it quickly rises from the shadows.
And Jesus Christ.
Round Deer emerges from the ground, fully shaped, as the rest of the shadows fade from its body. It’s white. Like, blindingly white, with long antlers that jut from its skull and branch out into the air. Its coat seems to shimmer in the sun, and it’s hard to look at, even for Yuuji, and he’s left wondering how the hell Megumi is able to face it.
It’s nothing like what Yuuji had seen in Shinjuku. Unlike Sukuna’s, this shikigami has two eyes that emit a bright orange glow, but it stands just as tall. In fact, it’s taller than Totality, and as it bucks back, rearing its head into the air, it seems to tower over Megumi.
Fuck. Yuuji’s fists tighten, and all he can do is stare. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Megumi only watches, assessing as much as he can about his opponent, and he holds his arm out and back, signaling to Totality to wait. From what Yuuji understands, all attacks with cursed energy can be neutralized by this shikigami, so Megumi will either have to fight it with an imbued weapon — hand-to-hand — or he’ll have to catch it off guard with attacks from Totality or any other shikigami he might summon.
It’s hard to know what he might do. At this point, Yuuji’s never seen a subjugation ritual, and anything goes. His hands twitch at his sides. He wants to be in there so badly. Having to watch Megumi fight something like this, knowing that he can’t step in, is probably the worst feeling ever. There’s been a slow-rising feeling of anxiety that’s settled in his stomach and in his mind. Yuuji hasn’t been able to shake the idea that something might happen, and here he is — watching it happen.
For a moment, Megumi and the deer just face each other. It shakes its head, and one of its ears twitches as Megumi stands with his sword in his hand waiting for someone to cast the first stone. Everything is quiet.
It’s so quiet.
Everyone watches, waits, and it’s like seeing everything in slow motion. Megumi moves first, dashing in a wide arc around the stag as it rears back. At the same time, Totality runs in the other direction, circling it, until both Megumi and Totality stand on either side of Round Deer.
With a quick motion of his hands, Nue rises from beneath the deer, and the world flashes. Lighting shoots from its wings, and the air crackles with electricity. It’s like night and day, with enough sheer power to jolt the trees around them.
The deer stands on its hind legs, aiming to hit Nue, who quickly flies out of its reach. Megumi uses the opportunity to charge, darting towards its underside and sliding on the ground, slicing at its legs. Round Deer lets out a deafening wail and lands back on all four legs just as Megumi comes out on the other side, sinking into his shadow before it can stomp on his head.
Yuuji feels like he can’t breathe, but he also can’t help but feel proud. So far, Megumi’s landed two good hits on the deer, and he can see the large gash left behind in his wake. Squinting, Yuuji stares. The blood of Round Deer isn’t red. It bleeds an aurous color, like melted gold. Like Megumi’s cut into something divine.
Megumi appears from behind Totality, rising from its shadow with his back to everyone watching. Yuuji can see his frame — his hunched shoulders, the way that he holds his head low, staring at the stag. Round Deer eyes him back, crouching low, with its head to the ground. Its leg continues to bleed, but then its blood starts to glow.
Faintly, Yuuji can hear Okkotsu curse under his breath, and that’s when he notices it.
The blood is glowing, the deer’s nose is glowing, and when the light finally dies, Round Deer is completely healed. Reverse Cursed Technique. Yuuji presses his lips together, and he knows that Megumi already knows it, too. He’s probably figured it out long before Yuuji did, and those first moves could have just been a warmup. Practice. Megumi is testing the waters to see how he might be able to fight this shikigami.
If he wants to subjugate Round Deer, he’s going to have to take it down in one hit. Either from himself or in conjunction with his shikigami. Whatever he decides to do, it has to be before it can heal itself.
It’s the deer’s turn to make a move. Before Megumi can decide what he wants to do, the stag charges at him. It shines in the sunlight, bright and illusive. It’s like looking at something otherworldly and incomprehensible.
Megumi jumps up onto Totality, his arm wrapping around its neck as it pulls him out of Round Deer’s way. They slide across the grass, kicking up dirt and dust and stray blades in the sky. A cloud whooshes around him as he uses his hand to steady himself, his other hand holding the sword high in the air.
Round Deer turns in an instant as Megumi stands and Totality rounds it. He circles his wrist, swinging his sword around as he rights himself and prepares for the next attack, but there’s something off. Yuuji stares at Round Deer as he tries to figure out what’s bothering him, but then he notices.
It’s not focused on Megumi.
Round Deer twitches and then runs to Totality. Megumi takes a step back in surprise, but before he can react, the two beasts are fighting. Totality swipes at the deer with its claws, leaving a large wound in its chest, but then the deer’s nose is glowing once more, and Totality roars.
Even from a distance, Yuuji can see the distress on Megumi’s face. His brows pinch, and his nose scrunches as his mouth curls into a snarl. He dispels Totality before the deer can do any more damage, but it’s clear that he won’t be using that shikigami again for this fight.
It’s Megumi and the deer.
Yuuji isn’t sure if he’s going to summon any other shikigami. The rest of them aren’t exactly subtle, though he might be able to use the rabbits or the toads to distract the stag while he attacks. It’s hard to say what’s going through his mind, and Yuuji wants nothing more than to be on that field with him.
The deer’s fully healed. Again. It turns and faces Megumi like some sort of god — tall and proud, shining in the sun, looking down on him with a type of cold indifference that could easily be mistaken for judgement.
Megumi looks up at this Goliath, alone with his sword, as his sins stand before him. This technique of his, taken from him and tainted, is here to be reclaimed, but he has to do it alone.
He, the shepherd of his own demise, is here once more, facing something that is both like him and opposes him. Command has shifted, and Megumi must prove himself, but how.
How?
Megumi stares at the deer, his sword at the ready, and Yuuji thinks that he’s going to attack again.
But something else happens instead. He lowers himself to a crouching position, his hands splaying across the grass. The sword lies beneath him, and all he does is stare.
Something in the air shifts, and Yuuji can feel the ground shaking. He turns to the others, and they must feel it, too, because they’re all glancing back at him. Okkotsu has a scowl on his face, his worry lines push into the scar that cuts across his forehead. Ieiri’s tired eyes find Yuuji’s, and all she can do is silently ask him if he knows what’s going on.
It feels like there’s little pins prickling all over Yuuji’s skin. He turns back to Megumi and the deer and sees that Megumi is still low to the ground as the shikigami becomes more restless. Sweat gleams over Megumi’s forehead as he remains where he is, unmoving,
Then the stag is charging once more.
It runs at Megumi with full force, and Ieiri has the good sense to grab onto Yuuji’s wrist before he can dash towards the field. Yuuji lets out a strangled cry as he watches the deer continue to charge at Megumi, its head low with its antlers pointed right at him.
Megumi doesn’t move.
He’s staring at Round Deer, running right at him, and he doesn’t move.
“What the hell is he doing?” Maki asks, taking a step forward.
Okkotsu stops her, his eyes trained on the battle. “Something’s happening with the barriers.”
“He needs to move!” she yells, her eyes wide with worry.
Yuuji isn’t doing much better, but Megumi remains calm.
Is this what he was talking about? Is this what he was trying to do in preparation for this fight?
Even if it is, Yuuji has no idea what he’s doing. He can’t see the barriers, but he can feel the energy shifting. Still, from where he stands, the deer is going to kill Megumi if he doesn’t move, but all he does is stay where he is.
Yuuji is clenching his teeth so hard that they feel like they might shatter. The deer huffs out from its nose as it reaches Megumi, and then—
A large crash echoes around them. It sounds like an explosion. The deer hits some invisible wall and careens back, its front legs rearing as its head snaps back into the air. A loud cry escapes its mouth, and then Megumi is moving.
He grabs the sword from the grass, pushing himself from the ground as he runs at the deer. It’s still trying to right itself, legs flailing, and he reaches it just in time to pierce its flesh, pushing from the bottom of the hilt up and into its stomach.
The sword cuts into the underbelly, and the stag wails. Its nose is glowing, but Megumi grabs the handle with both hands and drags it down.
Round Deer is screeching now, and it’s like the earth cries with it. The wind picks up, and the trees shake. Leaves swarm around them, circling in the air, as Megumi bares his teeth and cuts deeper into the animal.
Golden blood flows from its wound, down the blade, soaking Megumi’s hands, his arms, his shirt. He’s coated in it, on full display for the heavens to see. Evidence of the sacrifice glimmers like something beautiful, but it just looks sad. The glow of its eyes no longer burns orange as they slowly dull, muting, and as much as it tries to heal itself, Megumi won’t let the sword leave its body.
It kicks, losing its balance as it falls to the grass. Megumi moves with it, replunging the sword into its flesh as it cries once more. The moment its head hits the ground, he pulls back, sword in the sky, sunlight glinting from the blade and the ichor of the stag, and he brings it down.
In one swift motion, the head becomes disconnected from the body, and it sinks into the shadows until Megumi is the only one left, standing in the field.
The killing of a sacred deer.
September 22, 2020
I don’t know what that was, but I’m worried. Something happened to Megumi during that ritual, and I don’t know what this means.
But most importantly he’s alive.
He’s alive.
Megumi has tamed Round Deer.
Yuuji and Megumi sit side by side in the meeting room. The higher ups’ faceless figures are displayed before them on the screen, and across from them sit Okkotsu and Kusakabe. No one speaks, despite the fact that the meeting began several minutes ago.
It’s been a few days since Megumi’s subjugation ritual, and in that time, word traveled fast around the world. Reports of the fight were documented, as required by the board, and Okkotsu’s telling only raised more questions.
Beneath the table, Yuuji holds onto Megumi’s hand, their fingers interlocked.
They were called into this meeting but weren’t given any details. The stern look on Kusakabe’s face doesn’t ease any of Yuuji’s worries, however, and Okkotsu is avoiding eye contact.
Clearing his throat, Megumi speaks: “Anyone care to tell us what this is about?”
The room falls silent again for just a moment. There’s murmur across the board, but it only comes off as soft whispers.
Then, “Congratulations on a successful ritual.”
It’s Gakuganji, with his shaky voice and breathless words. Megumi’s mouth forms a thin line before, strangled, he says, “Thank you.”
“We were told you shifted Tengen’s barrier,” Gakuganji recounts.
Megumi clenches and unclenches his jaw. “That’s correct.”
“Care to tell us how?” Kusakabe asks.
Both Yuuji and Megumi turn to look at him. A toothpick rests in his mouth, and he only stares back expectantly. It’s not every day that someone can do something like that, and Yuuji didn’t even think it was possible with Tengen gone now.
Truth be told, he would like to know, too. He didn’t realize that Megumi had that sort of ability, and while this is new to Megumi, too, he had to have known he could do it for some time. Or, at the very least, he learned recently but never told Yuuji.
Megumi sucks in a sharp breath, exhaling slowly. Briefly, he and Yuuji share a glance, and the trepidation is clear as day. Megumi doesn’t way to say it. This secret, whatever it is, Megumi wants it to remain that way. And despite Yuuji and Megumi being… whatever they are, this is something that he doesn’t want anyone to know.
Not even him.
Still, all eyes are on Megumi. Everyone is waiting, and Yuuji gets the feeling that they won’t be able to leave until he tells them how he was able to manipulate the barrier like that. In a way, this is dire news. If someone can mess with Tengen’s barriers, that jeopardizes not only the school but the world.
Megumi looks at Yuuji once more and then turns to the screen.
“Remnants of Tengen existed within Sukuna because Kenjaku left the merger to him,” he starts.
This is something that they all knew. Sukuna’s remains were preserved in order to maintain the barriers and are now kept at the Holy Mountain of Hida.
But there’s something else.
Megumi stares ahead at the camera, at the higher ups, and says, “I didn’t know it until recently, but it’s not just Sukuna. I don’t know if it was latent or if I had to get stronger, but…”
A pause.
Silence.
Megumi’s hand squeezes Yuuji’s.
“I have the merger.”
And the room erupts into chaos.
September 26, 2020
The board asked us to leave. Megumi’s admission of control over the merger has the higher ups in shambles. We don’t even know why I was called in too, but I’m sure we’ll learn soon.
I don’t know what to think. I don’t exactly understand the merger, but I know that it’s not good. Kenjaku’s goal of force-evolving all of humanity still exists, and while I don’t think Megumi would ever use it, having that kind of power is… dangerous. I’m worried the board will want to kill him for it.
From what I understand though, it takes a lot of cursed energy. Enough so that Kenjaku had created the Culling Games. If that’s the case, then it’s possible that Megumi may never be able to use it anyway. I just don’t want this to become a target on his back.
[October 1st, 2020]
Notice from Jujutsu Headquarters:
1) Fushiguro Megumi has tamed Round Deer and is now promoted to Special Grade status. We acknowledge his possession of the Great Merger but note his loyalty to Jujutsu Tech. He will be monitored, and any displays of non-compliance will be addressed accordingly.
2) Itadori Yuuji is now promoted to Special Grade status. We acknowledge his possession and command over two techniques, a complete domain, and Reverse Cursed Technique.
3) Students under mentorship will shadow missions at the discretion of the student. It is strongly encouraged that students accompany their mentors on missions.
4) All Special Grade sorcerers are now required to take missions assigned to them. We hereby declare any denial of a mission to be a crime. The likes of Tsukumo Yuki will not be tolerated any more.
Yuuji sits over his journal at his desk, both elbows on the table, head in his hands. He doesn’t even know what to write. Megumi left several minutes ago, saying he needed to take a walk. He left through the sliding doors, leaving it open so the cool autumn air could seep into the room, chilling him to bone.
He doesn’t know what to do.
He doesn’t know what to do.
He sits there for who-knows-how long, just staring at the blank page that taunts him, and tries to find the right words to capture how he’s feeling.
Special Grade. No warning, no heads up, no notice of consideration. They didn’t go through the standard process of grade promotion for this, and they only learned about it through the board’s notice.
It should be a celebration. That’s what everyone keeps saying. They gave their congratulations, and Nobara even smacked him on the back of the head and told him not to think about leaving her behind. There was an edge to her joke, as if to say there’s a part of her that’s not joking. Yuuji could only smile and tell her that he would never dream of it.
He should be happy, he should be proud, but he just can’t shake the feeling that it’s not right. Sure, he and Megumi have defeated their fair share of curses; they’re powerful, and they’ve even fought and killed Special Grades. Hell, Yuuji fought Sukuna and won, but it’s different.
Something’s off.
Everything feels too clean. Too calculated.
He’s pulled from his worries by a frantic knocking at the door. Yuuji looks back at the sliding doors and finds them to still be wide open. If Megumi was back, he’d just walk in that way, so it has to be someone else.
“Itadori-san!”
It’s Sora.
When he opens it, he’s faced with a flushed Sora, out of breath and beaming like she’s won the lottery. Her brother stands next to her, smiling proudly, and they both immediately start talking all at once. It’s a mix of where’s Fushiguro-san? and we have to tell you something! Yuuji takes a step back, a little confused, but he’s unable to keep himself from smiling at their excitement.
“Guys, what’s going on?” he asks, laughing a little.
They step through the door, turning immediately to face him.
“Where’s Fushiguro-san?” Hitori asks, bouncing in place.
Yuuji opens his mouth to say that he’s stepped out when Megumi appears in the sliding doors.
“I’m here,” he says casually. “Hey, guys.”
“Fushiguro-san!” Sora beams. “We have exciting news to share with you!”
Megumi gives an inquisitive look as he removes his shoes. Padding over to the bed, he sits and asks, “What is it?”
Sora and Hitori both look at each other, and there’s an exchange of who should say it? Yuuji and Megumi share their own look, confused and intrigued. They haven’t been this animated in a few months, ever they both decided to shadow their missions. Now, here they are, in Yuuji’s room, practically bouncing off the walls and talking over each other.
“What’s going on?” Yuuji laughs, walking up to them and placing a hand on each of their shoulders.
They calm down, still smiling, as they look up at him. Sora is smiling so widely that Yuuji can’t help but smile, too. Then Hitori looks at Megumi, then back at him, and says, “We just got promoted!”
“We’re Grade 2 sorcerers!” Sora finishes, cheering where she stands.
The two of them high five one another, talking at a hurried pace, gushing about how excited they are to start taking on solo missions and how they can’t wait to get stronger. Sora seems to be both proud of her brother and herself for being able to advance with him, and she jokes about protecting him, to which he rolls his eyes and says he’s going to be the one protecting her.
They start bickering lightly, joking about who was stronger.
It should be happy.
Yuuji should be happy.
Megumi should be happy.
They look at one another from where Yuuji stands, his hands still on their shoulders as they go back and forth. The siblings are completely oblivious to the truth of it all, to the worried expression that Yuuji and Megumi both share.
They’ve just been promoted to Grade 2, and they’re happy, of course.
But it’s too soon.
Megumi knows that, Yuuji knows that, the board must know that, and yet—
“Isn’t that great?” Sora asks, looking up at Yuuji expectantly.
Yuuji opens his mouth and then closes it. Just be happy. He tries to will it to himself, offering a smile. All he can do is swallow down his worries, not wanting to spoil her excitement.
“That’s really great, Sora! We’re proud of you.”
But she must hear the hesitation in his words, because her face starts to fall, and she blinks. “But…?”
Yuuji looks over at Megumi, backed into a corner. He’s unsure if he wants to tell them the truth, but they’re both so excited. Hitori looks back and forth between the two of them, and it’s clear that they’re putting the pieces together.
Yuuji and Megumi are not happy.
“What’s wrong with us being a Grade 2?” he asks.
Megumi presses his lips together and says, “It’s not that.”
Sora snaps to Yuuji. “Well, what is it?”
Her voice has a defensive edge to it. She steps away from Yuuji’s touch, and Hitori follows her.
And there’s that gap again. That invisible wall. The second-years are only a step away, and yet it feels like a chasm has opened between them. They came here to celebrate with their upperclassmen, but all they got in return was a worried look with strained congratulations.
“Why don’t you want us to be strong?” Sora presses.
“Sora, it’s not like that,” Yuuji says, trying to placate her, but she shakes her head.
“No. You didn’t want us to shadow you either, and now you’re upset that we’ve been promoted,” she argues. “We’ve been working our asses off for this, and you’re upset about it. Why?”
And for her, it’s true.
Sore once declared that she wanted to be strong enough to protect her brother. She set aside her fears to be able to push herself beyond her limits, and she just wants to celebrate it with her mentor. Yuuji sees that, knowing that she’s blind to this truth.
This promotion is going to be a death sentence.
“You just don’t understand how dangerous this job is,” Megumi tries, standing from the bed. The siblings turn to him, eyes sharp. “I think it’s too early.”
“Bullshit!” Hitori cries. “You both said that we’ve been doing well. We get good grades in our classes, and you only see us during training. You don’t know how hard we work.”
“We do know, but we also know how this grading system works,” Yuuji says, growing frustrated. They’ve hit a wall. Both Sora and Hitori are dangerously stubborn. “Even if you’re strong enough for Grade 2s, there’s no way you can shadow us now. Megumi and I are Special Grades.”
“What, you don’t think you can save us?” Sora asks. “You’re Special Grade.”
Yuuji’s lip curls as he retorts, “Yeah, and that means Special Grade curses. Do you not have any idea how powerful they are? Look at Shibuya. Or Shinjuku. Or what’s left of it. That’s what a Special Grade does.”
And for just a moment, she falters. Her eyes flash with a tinge of fear that brings guilt to Yuuji’s heart, but it’s schooled away.
“That doesn’t matter,” she says. “We can still come with on other missions. And that doesn’t mean that we can’t be Grade 2.”
“I don’t think you’re ready to take on unsupervised missions,” Megumi says, shaking his head. “I don’t like this board, and I don’t like how they do things. You’re not ready.”
“Like hell we are!” Hitori yells, taking a step towards Megumi. Fear disguised as rage takes over his features, and he declares, “We are strong enough. Stop saying that we’re not! We’re not your responsibility, and you’re not our parents!”
Megumi’s face shifts in anger, and he steps forward, too.
“If you think that, then try to fight me right now, and I’ll tell you whether or not you’re strong enough for a Grade 2,” he snarls.
Sora grabs her brother’s wrist and pulls him back. She drags him to the door, her gaze set to the floor as she rushes towards it. Shoving Hitori out into the hall, she stops for a second, hand on the frame, and says, “We thought you’d be happy for us.”
And the door closes.
Notes:
i hope that you liked this chapter, and—as always—i have some things to note:
the mud curse is based off of a japanese ghost—the dorotabō. they're said to be a spirit of vengeance from old men who worked in rice fields. the curse isn't a 1:1, but it's definitely inspired by them!
the wind curse sac idea was based off of different frog species, but more specifically, the blunt-headed burrowing frog. it's also known as the balloon frog and can inflate itself with air so it can appear larger.
also, a fun easter egg is that megumi's subjugation ritual takes place on the autumn equinox, which is a holiday for japan. it usually falls on the 22nd or the 23rd, but in 2020, it was on the 22nd. the day is for honoring ancestors and reflecting life.
and the way the stag dies is based off of how david kills goliath (like referenced in the chapter)!
anyway, that's all!!! guys, we are SOOO back, and i've been SUPER excited to write and share this chapter with you! it's been entirely too long since i've updated this fic, and i had no idea that i would be so busy [wail]!!!! since last friday, i've been working 16/18-hour days, so there's been like ZERO time to write <\\3
but HERE WE ARE WITH A NEW 20K-WORD CHAPTER!! this is one of my favorites, and this one definitely has my favorite title. it comes from an episode in season three of my favorite tv show, Grimm. so, shoutout to the grimm squad who gets this reference.
thank you so, SO much for reading, and i can't wait to write more of this story. exciting things are coming! <33
Chapter 5: Old Wounds and Picked Scabs
Notes:
this whole chapter is basically yuuji fighting with his morality.
!!this chapter has graphic descriptions of death and gore!! specifically, a dead body. if you want to know the specifics of when to skip, please see the drop-down below:
TW
if you would like to skip the dead body, please make sure you stop reading at There’s blood spatters everywhere, and a single body. and pick back up at There’s so much damage and so much blood that it’s hard to tell what happened first.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Yuuji walks through the city like he’s moving through molasses. It’s like the wind resistance is at an all-time high. It’s actively trying to protect him. Pull him back. It doesn’t want him going where he’s going, yet he’s determined to get there anyway.
His heart bangs against his chest. Against his ribs. Like it wants to burst out of its cage and run right for him. Run to him. All the way to Megumi.
Can he even still call him that?
It’s been over a year since he’s last heard or seen from him, but he still feels that aching pull in his chest whenever someone mentions his name. When the board is scolding him, reminding Yuuji that he’s actively wanted. When Nobara is cursing him during her rants, reminding Yuuji that she and Maki barely got out alive. When he’s clinging to his student ID at night, holding it so tightly that its plastic edges might actually scratch Yuuji, because if anything were to ever be able to damage him, it would be something of Megumi’s. Wouldn’t it?
It's the middle of summer, but his eyes sting as if it were winter. Maybe it’s the tears or his fast-paced walk, or it’s the wind hitting him in the face — like it’s trying to tell him that this is a bad idea. Yuuji knows that it is. He’s sure of it.
If this were a good idea, he’d tell someone. Like Okkotsu, or Nobara, or — hell — maybe even Kusakabe. No. Currently, the only person who knows is Yuuji, and he’s keeping that way for now. At least for this one time. He wants to go into this unbiased — which is saying a lot, considering his bias for Megumi is what nearly got Nobara killed.
But it’s different. Yuuji gets the feeling that Nobara wasn’t in any actual real danger. Or, well, she was, but it didn’t seem like Megumi. It seemed out of control. Megumi’s always had control. Whatever happened to her in there, it was dangerous, and it was wild, and it was volatile, but… that’s not Megumi. If anything, it was almost like once Megumi got control, the fight ended. Like he realized it was her and stopped attacking.
Whatever it was, Yuuji intends to ask him about it. He needs to know the truth. He needs to understand what’s going on. He needs to hear why.
Why did you leave me?
It still feels like the world is trying to pull him back. Every step towards the meeting point feels heavy and weighted. It feels like he’s moving in slow motion, but the rest of the world continues in the same way it’s always done. Yuuji can feel the anger and the disappointment of everyone at Jujutsu Tech dragging him down as he draws nearer.
A part of him is aware that this could be a trap. Megumi could be waiting to fight him. Or kill him. He could pull him in for a kiss and drive a knife into his chest at the same time. Yuuji would still do it. He’d allow it just for the brief taste of Megumi on his lips before his inevitable death. Ever since Megumi left — ever since Megumi stopped talking to him — it’s like a part of Yuuji has been missing.
The beds are so empty without him. The dorms are too quiet. His room is untouched, and Yuuji won’t let anyone do anything about it. He’s naïve like that. Thinking that Megumi could just come back without some sort of consequence. The board wants him dead, but Yuuji’s made it pretty clear that he won’t let that happen. Kusakabe says that puts a target on his back, but he doesn’t care.
He just needs to hear Megumi. He has so much he wants to ask him, and maybe after this meeting, he can understand.
Yuuji swallows.
He’s standing at the door of a quaint coffee shop. It’s in the middle of the city, so his chances of dying to Megumi here are minimal, though he’s learned that Megumi has no qualms about killing innocent non-sorcerers, so… maybe not.
Still, he takes in a slow, deep breath. This is Megumi, he tells himself. This is Megumi. Yuuji presses his lips together and opens the door. The small chime of a bell, the sweet scent of coffee, and the warm, natural lighting all hit him at once. It’s like any other coffee shop, and yet Yuuji feels like he’s stepped into another world.
It’s so… mundane.
After everything he’s been through and seen and fought, after losing so many people, after letting Megumi slip from his grasp like a ghost who was never there, he stands in this coffee shop, and it suddenly feels too normal.
It doesn’t help that the first thing he does is look for Megumi. Just another instinct he has. Like breathing. Or blinking. Yuuji enters a room, and his eyes search for Megumi first thing. It doesn’t matter that the last time he saw him was over a year ago. It doesn’t matter that the last time he saw him, Megumi was covered in blood, mid-kill, attacking him and Nobara and Maki.
It doesn’t matter.
Yuuji will always search for him.
So, it’s not surprising when he finds the unmistakable shape of Megumi’s frame. His wild and erratic hair peeks over a few patrons sitting at a table in front of him, but Yuuji finds him the way that a moth finds light in the dark. It’s just natural. Megumi’s back is facing him, and he’s hunching over the table. There’s a steaming cup of coffee, likely black, sitting on the table next to him, and Yuuji can almost tell himself that this was any other day.
This is him and Megumi, getting coffee together in the city, like they often used to do. This is any other day. This is them running errands for Sora and Hitori before bringing back snacks and treats and drinks for them to gorge themselves with way too late in the night for their training the next day. A small, pained sigh escapes Yuuji, and he tries to smile to himself at the thought. It could almost be that.
But it will never be that.
So instead, he swallows and starts making his way over to the table. Megumi hears him before he sees him, because just as he approaches, he turns around, and—
Yuuji takes a step back.
“Yuuji,” Megumi says.
Yuuji stares. No words come to mind. Megumi used his name. His name. He should say hi. He should stop staring. He should do something other than stare, but—
“Your scars…”
It comes out strangled and confused. That’s probably the best way to describe what Yuuji is feeling anyway. He looks at Megumi, and his scars are… Gone? It’s strange. Megumi is looking at him, and he looks younger. Well, not really younger. He still looks his age — a fresh twenty-one — but the scars on his face, the ones that make Megumi look like a sorcerer, are gone.
Megumi hums in confusion and then looks up, as if he were trying to look at his own face. “Oh, yeah… they’re— I thought it was better if…” He trails off, as if he’s not too sure himself.
It’s… different. Megumi looks the way he did when Yuuji first met him. His skin appears unmarred. Sukuna’s marks are no longer etched onto his face, and the large gash on his neck has been expertly covered.
As if Hokkaido never happened.
“Do you hate it?”
Yuuji snaps back from his mind at the sound of Megumi’s voice. The sincerity of the question hits him square in the chest, like he really wants to know. Does Yuuji hate it? Does it seem like he’s trying to cover up his past — their pasts? Should he be hurt or offended?
Yuuji tries to ask himself as he stares down at Megumi, still standing. He looks into the green of his irises, a soft color that’s both warm and cool. It’s the light of the sun hitting a thin blade of grass as it sways against the breeze. This is the first time that Yuuji has seen Megumi since last April, and he can’t bring himself to feel discomforted by the sight of him. Not now. Maybe not ever.
“I don’t,” Yuuji answers, and he means it.
A soft smile ghosts Megumi’s lips as he nods and turns back to the table. He gestures to the seat across from him and says, “Well, are you going to join me?”
A lump forms in Yuuji’s throat. Are they not going to address it? Is he waiting to address it? Is Yuuji ready to address it? Does he want to?
“Let me order something first,” he says politely, pointing back to the counter. “Then I’ll come join you.”
Megumi nods in reply.
Yuuji practically walks away trembling. He feels weird. His entire body is wired, and he’s trying not to let his breathing escape himself. As he walks to the counter, his mind wanders back to Megumi. Seeing him again. Seeing him without his scars. Hearing his voice. The soft tone of his voice was both jarring and comforting.
Tengen, how Yuuji missed it.
When he reaches the counter, Yuuji orders the first things he thinks of — a chai latte and a chocolate croissant. He’s not sure how much of it he’ll finish, but he’s not focused on that. Not right now. He returns to the table and takes his seat while Megumi absentmindedly sips on his coffee. In front of him, there’s an empty plate and a discarded napkin.
“How are you?” Megumi asks.
Everything is dull now that you’re gone. “I’m okay, I guess.”
“Liar.”
The accusation isn’t even mean. It’s right. “I miss you.”
Megumi shifts in his seat, looking away as he stares out the window of the shop. Light flashes across his face as cars and people pass by, and he mumbles, “I do, too.”
Yuuji feels his chest tighten, and he looks down at his food and drink like it’ll say something — anything — for him. He can’t even bring himself to believe it. Not really. Not as much as he wants to. It’s been over a year, and in that time, Yuuji texted Megumi’s number the way that someone texts a loved one who’s died.
Megumi might as well have been dead. He could have died, and Yuuji wouldn’t have ever known. He would’ve had to find out through reports and second-hand accounts. Bitterness sits in his stomach and rises to his heart, roughing the edges until he’s asking himself, do you? Really?
Yuuji only nods and continues to look at his order, untouched. “Have you been doing okay?”
A beat of silence passes before Megumi lets out a slow sigh and says, “Define ‘okay.’”
Yuuji clenches his fists on the table, and he hates himself in this moment. He hates how distant this feels. This could have been like any other day in the city, but will never be. The distance between them feels like a crack in the earth. Right down to its core. Yuuji is sitting across the table from Megumi, but it may as well be a canyon.
“I just want to make sure that you’re… taking care. That you’re eating and sleeping and—”
Yuuji cuts himself off with a sharp breath. He thinks back to when they were still just kids, and Megumi was pushing himself for the sake of Sora and Hitori. He thinks back to just before he had tamed Round Deer — those late nights on the training field. He knows that Megumi has the Ox now. Did he lose sleep over that, too? Or did the lack of pressure from the higher ups allow him to do it on his own time?
“Are you at least taking care of yourself, Megumi?” Yuuji asks, raising his head to look Megumi in the eye.
He looks so sad. Megumi has always been so good at putting his emotions behind a mask, but his eyes have never once lied. Not to Yuuji. Even now, after everything, even after years, Megumi still looks sad. He looks so defeated, and that’s probably the most Yuuji will ever know with what’s going on inside his head.
“It’s not like before,” Megumi answers, voice steady. “I have a goal in mind, and to achieve it, I need to be at my best.” He stares back at Yuuji, emphasizing every word: “My very best.”
Yuuji swallows under his gaze. “Does this have to do with the killings?”
Megumi presses his lips together and looks away. “The less you know about it, the better, Yuuji. Trust me.”
“Whatever it is, I don’t like that you’re doing it alone.”
“It’s not like you’re going to help me.”
“I could try to.”
Megumi shakes his head. “Not with what I’m doing.”
Yuuji stares at Megumi. His silhouette is as sharp and as beautiful as ever. The light from the window hits him in all the right ways, accentuating the point of his nose and the cut of his jaw. Shadows streak across his face and neck, all angular and jagged, and it almost makes his scars visible once more. Yuuji finds himself missing those scars.
A visual representation of Megumi’s pain, but they were still Megumi’s. They made him Megumi, acting as a tribute to his survival and his strength. The lack of them screams at Yuuji. Wouldn’t all sorcerers like to lose their scars? But if they did, then how would anyone know that they fought back and lived? In a way, Megumi covering his scars erases his past, no? He might be burying his pain, sure, but he’s burying all of the time that they’ve spent together as a result of it, too.
Every kiss.
Every promise.
Every night together.
Covered and buried.
Yuuji takes a slow breath and looks back down. He tries to pick up his drink, but his hands are too shaky to get the cup more than an inch off the table, so he sets it back down. Instead, he places both hands in his lap and asks, “So, what can you tell me?”
Megumi pauses, unmoving in his peripherals. Silence lingers between them, filled with a million unanswered questions, and Yuuji knows that most — if not all — of them will be left that way. Hanging and suspended in the air.
“I can tell you that I’m doing this for a reason,” Megumi eventually replies, his voice low.
“A good one?”
“What else?”
“Was it a good one when you attacked us?”
Yuuji looks back at and sees Megumi still staring off into the distance. There’s guilt hiding under the mix of emotions that flash across his face, but he schools it — schools all of it — and says, “You attacked me first.”
Yuuji grips the fabric of his shirt, almost like he’s meant to tear it, and argues, “We caught you right after you had killed someone. We had orders to detain you. You put up the fight.”
“And look what happened,” Megumi snaps as his head turns sharply back to Yuuji. His eyes are lit like a green fire. His jaw is taught, but he slowly exhales from his nose, and the fire dies. Megumi sinks into his seat, looking down at his coffee, and asks, more softly, “Are they okay?”
“You scared the hell out of them, but they’re fine,” Yuuji answers.
Megumi only nods. Silent.
“They’ve both sworn you off,” Yuuji continues. He deserves to know. “Whatever you did in there, they’re not forgiving you for it.”
“I didn’t do anything but defend myself,” Megumi says, but it sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself than anything. “I didn’t think they would break into my domain, and I didn’t know that it would—” He sighs and closes his eyes. “I didn’t think they would be attacked.”
Yuuji scoffs, sitting back into his seat. “It’s sure-hit. You know this. That’s how it got me in—”
“Stop,” Megumi threatens. His voice is dangerously low, and pain and anger drips from his tone. “I meant—” He swallows. “I don’t choose who gets attacked. It just attacks.”
Yuuji hums. “Yeah, I figured it was something like that.”
Megumi nods. “Tell them that I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know how much they’ll listen, but I’ll try.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
They sit in silence for a bit. Yuuji finally brings himself to eat and drink a little bit, and they spend their time trading stolen glances from across the table. There’s a heaviness that’s settled in his stomach. He doesn’t quite understand what Megumi’s goals are, but it can’t be good.
As far as he knows, Megumi has tamed Piercing Ox, he has a full domain that he unlocked in Hokkaido, and he has the merger. Remnants of Tengen exist within him, and he can manipulate barriers because of it. Whatever it is that Megumi is trying to do, it has to involve everything. Megumi’s only been getting stronger, and it’s gotten to a point where “Special Grade” doesn’t quite cut it.
No, this is something worse. Megumi is like an anomaly now. His cursed energy is higher than Yuuji’s ever been able to sense before, and it’s only getting stronger. At this point, whatever it is that Megumi has planned, Yuuji has no doubt that he could achieve it.
They sit together for a while longer. Yuuji doesn’t know how long he has with Megumi, but he wants to stay here. Even if they’re on opposite sides of the table. Even if they’re on opposite sides of jujutsu society. He wants to stay here and be selfish. Megumi is right in front of him, and they’re talking about killing and forgiveness and scars. Yuuji wants to be here and kiss him, to pull him in, to hold him, to lie with him. His love has hit a wall. A dead end with nowhere to go.
The one person he wants to give it to is here. Finally. After an entire year.
What else is he meant to do?
“Megumi…” Yuuji says, his voice small. He needs to be brave, forcing himself to look him in the eye. “You can still come back. You can stop this all and come back—”
Megumi scoffs.
“—We can heal. Together.” Yuuji stares at Megumi with pleading eyes, trying with all of the love in his heart to show him that he doesn’t hate him. He forgives him. He understands his pain, because he lived through it, too. “It doesn’t have to be this way.”
“Yuuji,” Megumi says, all soft — the way that he used to say Yuuji’s name. It melts like butter, warming him. “I… can’t.”
And then he’s cold again.
“But… why not?” Yuuji asks. “What are you trying to do? We can help.”
Megumi shakes his head. “You can’t do that.”
“But I want to.”
“It doesn’t matter what you want, Yuuji. You can’t.”
“But what about—” Yuuji cuts himself off, biting the inside of his cheek. When he speaks again, his voice is softer. Barely a whisper. “What about… us?”
And something in Megumi’s gaze breaks. It’s like watching his heart fall apart right in front of him. It cracks and shatters, falling into pieces on the café floor. Then he can’t look at Yuuji anymore. Megumi stares down at the empty plate in front of him and says, “There is no ‘us.’”
The words, although quiet, scream at Yuuji in his mind. They punch him, right in the stomach, in the chest, in the heart. Pain stings and rushes through him like blood in his veins. It swallows his thoughts. Over and over again.
There is no us.
Yuuji swallows. “Isn’t there?”
Megumi continues looking down. “Not anymore.”
And then it’s Yuuji’s heart that’s breaking. It fractures, cracks growing and branching out, until it just… falls apart. It’s worse than glass hitting the floor. It’s the entire undoing of something that he’s wanted for years and years and years. It’s Yuuji’s very essence unraveling, because the worst part isn’t even the confirmation.
It’s the pain in Megumi’s voice.
Like he doesn’t even want to be saying it himself.
“You can’t just push me away,” Yuuji says, trying to steady his voice in an attempt to sound strong. “You can’t do that.”
And then Megumi does the worst thing in the world.
He smiles.
It’s all sad and broken. It’s the kind of smile that you give to a kid at a funeral when they ask when their mom is coming back. It’s the kind of smile that you smile when someone’s dying right in front of you, and you have to do your best to comfort them. It’s the kind of smile that you see when someone’s breaking their own heart.
“I know I can’t,” Megumi murmurs, his voice cracking the smallest amount. He looks at Yuuji, with that tragic smile and tears in his eyes, and he lets out an uneven sigh. “But I can’t let you stay close either.”
Yuuji looks at Megumi, and it’s like seeing a flower wilt in real time. The color fades — brown and brittle and dull — as the petals curl in on themselves and dry. Suddenly, the weight is too much to bear, and it bends, falling over, unable to support itself, and the last of its life drains from its body.
“I love you, you know,” Yuuji whispers. He has to know. Megumi has to know it already, but he needs to say it anyway. He loves Megumi more than the world itself, and that was proven the day he decided to kill Sukuna and save Megumi.
Megumi makes a pained noise that comes from the back of his throat. Strangled and tense. Quietly, he replies, “I love you, too.”
And it’s everything that Yuuji’s ever wanted to hear. The words spread warmth throughout his body. He loves Megumi, and Megumi loves him. The fire continues to burn until it’s no longer warm. It’s hot. It’s burning his skin, his nerves, his heart. It eats him alive, those simple words. I love you, and it consumes Yuuji, because Megumi loves him, and he knows that.
But love doesn’t fix everything, and he knows that, too.
“So, what does this mean going forward?” Yuuji asks.
“It means this is all you’ll see of me,” Megumi answers. His voice is more stable now, like he needs to say it this way to make it true. “It means I’ll see you on the first of the month. Every month. No more, and no less.”
Yuuji’s chest tightens, and he nods. “And if something like Fukuoka happens again?”
“Then we fight.” The way that Megumi says it is so matter-of-fact that it’s almost like he’s expecting it to happen. Yuuji and Megumi will fight in the future, but… what would bring Yuuji to that?
“I don’t want to fight you,” Yuuji says, his voice low. “I won’t.”
“Oh, Yuuji…” Megumi smiles that same, broken smile again. “One day, you might.”
Then he stands from the table and leaves.
October 15, 2024
There’s now a hierarchy within the board. Or I guess it’s more like there’s spokespeople now? I don’t entirely understand it, but Gakuganji is one of them and I don’t think that’s a good thing. I guess we’ll see, but he’s shown to be more interested in maintaining his status than actually protecting us. Okkotsu wants to try to work his way up, but with Gakuganji still alive…
Whatever. That’s not all. There’s also… Megumi I’ve been It’s been a little over three months since Megumi first reached out to me. We’ve been meeting on the first of every month since July. Ieiri knows now. Not really on purpose, but she caught me sneaking out last month, and I ended up filling her in on everything.
She didn’t have anything to say other than be careful.
Yuuji is walking past the first-year classroom when he spots Nobara walking towards him. There’s determination set in her eye as she stares him down, and it gives him a slight pause.
“Hey, Nobara,” he says, waving nervously. “What’s—”
“You.”
Well, that isn’t good.
She storms towards him and grabs him by the wrist, dragging him into the classroom and shutting the door with a definitive slam.
“What— hey—” Yuuji tries to protest as she continues to pull him towards the desk.
Her grip is solid, and she spins him around, shoving him back. He has to put his arm out to catch himself on the desk in order to keep his back from slamming into it, and he looks at Nobara like she’s fucking crazy, because what the fuck? She only glares at him.
“What the hell was that for?!” he asks, practically yelling at her.
Nobara steps up to him, anger flaring, getting right in his face, as she yells back, “Are you fucking stupid?!”
Yuuji blinks, taken aback. He knows that she’s upset — that was clear from when he first saw her — but this isn’t some hey, you ate my fucking leftovers! anger. This is true anger. She’s glaring at him, her brows pinched, a widened expression, her lips turned into a sharp frown.
He swallows. “I— don’t—”
“What the fuck do you think you’re fucking doing?” she presses, going so far as to shove her pointer finger right in Yuuji’s chest. “Meeting up with him? Do you want to fucking die?!”
Yuuji furrows his brows and stands up straighter from the desk, grabbing her finger to keep her from pressing her nail into his pec but not hard enough to hurt her. “How do you—”
“It doesn’t matter how I fucking know,” she cuts him off. “What the hell are you doing with him?”
“Nothing!” Yuuji bites back, defensive. He lowers her hand and scoffs. “We just meet at a café, and we talk.”
“Oh, I’m sure that’s sweet for you two to catch up on the weather and drink lattes together,” she says sarcastically. Crossing her arms, she turns to the window. “Do you not realize how dangerous he is?”
“I know what he’s capable of, Nobara.”
“Then why are you letting yourself get close to him?”
“He’s our friend!”
Nobara shakes her head and rolls her eyes, blowing a strand of hair from her face. “Not after that fight, we’re not.
“Nobara, I know that wasn’t good for you, and I know that you were in danger, but—” Yuuji grunts in frustration, fisting his hair. “I have to know what he thinks he’s doing! He left us. On my birthday. And then he shows up, and he’s killing people, and you don’t want to know why?”
“Frankly, I don’t care!” she bursts back. “You weren’t in there. In that domain. You don’t know—”
“I know exactly what his domain can do, Nobara,” he argues. “You know I do.”
Nobara looks back at him and swallows, her eye slowly drifting to Yuuji’s chest and torso. Beneath his shirt, the biggest scar he’s ever had cuts from his shoulder down to his hip. It’s violent and jarring every time he sees it. Even now, after nearly three years, he’s still not used to it. When he’s changing, in the shower, training in hot weather, Yuuji removes his shirt, and he has to remember what it was like for him in there — fighting for his life, unable to use Reverse Cursed Technique.
“I just don’t want you getting hurt like that again,” she says. “Not when he could use it against you.”
“I don’t think he will,” Yuuji assures her. He lets out a soft sigh and steps closer to her. “I know that what happened to you and Maki wasn’t fair. It was dangerous, and I’m glad that you’re both okay, but… I just have to make sure that he’s okay, too. He’s not acting like himself—”
Nobara snorts sarcastically. “Understatement of the fucking year.”
Yuuji lets out a small smile and pulls her into a hug. She freezes for a moment before slowly wrapping her arms around him and burying her face into his chest. A shaky breath escapes her, and Yuuji can feel her trembling in his grasp.
“Please, just be careful,” she mumbles, her voice muffled by his shirt. “I don’t want you to get hurt, and I don’t want you all to ever fight. I don’t… I don’t think you could.”
Yuuji rests his head atop hers and sighs. “I don’t either. I hope it never comes to that.”
“Do you think he’ll stop?”
“I asked him to come back, but he seems pretty set on doing whatever it is that he’s doing.”
She hums, still hugging him. After a moment of standing in silence, she pulls away, her arms still wrapped around Yuuji’s sides, and she looks up at him. “I hope you know that I don’t think I can ever just move past what happened to us in there.”
“I think he knows that, too,” Yuuji says sadly.
“Megumi’s such a stubborn bastard,” she says with a scoff, pulling away. “Why does he always have to do everything alone?”
It’s more of a rhetorical question, and, well, Yuuji doesn’t really have an answer, so he lets it hang in the air. He doesn’t note the fact that she still calls him by his given name, and he doesn’t acknowledge the tears gleaming in her eye. He lets her anger stew, reducing from a raging boil to a soft simmer.
Yuuji is sure that a part of her is aware that Megumi might not have had control of everything in his domain, but with what she went through, she’s probably not quick to forgive him over it either. What she needs is time, and he’s willing to give it to her.
“He can’t keep being stupid like this,” she says. “And he can’t keep hurting you. That’s not something I’m willing to tolerate.”
“It’ll be okay,” Yuuji assures. “I want to do this, and it’s the only way for me to make sure that he’s okay.”
“If the board ever finds out…” Nobara trails off, looking at him.
Yuuji swallows. “They won’t.”
She hums and starts for the door, stopping with her hand on the handle. “Just be careful with them.”
“I will,” he promises.
“Be careful around Megumi, too,” she says.
And she’s gone.
November 8, 2024
Nobara keeps telling me that she thinks meeting Megumi is a bad idea. She rants to me, asking no one what Megumi thinks he’s doing. I always say I wish I knew too. Megumi never wants to tell me anything.
When we met last week, he talked about the places he’s been to. He dances around the reason, and I don’t ask. I guess it’s better this way.
December 23, 2024
Nobara and I are going to Shibuya and Shinjuku tomorrow. I guess it’s gotten easier to go to Shibuya over the years. Not easier, but not as hard as it used to be. Shinjuku is different now. I go back there, and all I can think about is Megumi.
January 1, 2025
Shoko stopped me before I left today. She asked me what my meetings with Megumi were like, and I told her that we always just got coffee and talked. Something about my answer bothered her, but she didn’t tell me why. I thought about it the entire time I was meeting Megumi, but he only said that she could just be worried because of something from her past.
I don’t know what that means, but I didn’t want to ask. I’ve just noticed that sometimes when she or Ijichi look at me, they look… pitiful. It’s like they feel sorry for me. I guess it makes sense, but something about it feels different.
February 26, 2025
The board still tells me that they don’t want me mentoring right now. They insist that I’m not ready and that Maki and Nobara are handling it right now. My teacher title is officially gone, but they allow me to sit in on training and sparring sessions. The students all seem to be doing well without me anyway.
Yuuji sighs, throwing his head back as he walks. He’s already preparing himself for the news. The board never calls him in this close to his birthday unless it’s some sort of big mission that will have him gone for several days at a time. He can hear their empty apologies already, see the apologetic look of Okkotsu as they break the news, and feel his fists clenching as he asks when and where.
He steps through the doors of the meeting room, already finding Kusakabe and Okkotsu sitting in their usual places. Kusakabe lacks his signature toothpick hanging from his mouth, and Okkotsu is leaning on the table, facing the door like he’s been ready for Yuuji to walk in.
Okay, so this is going to be a big mission.
“Itadori Yuuji.” The voice comes from the screen, as an endless sea of faceless figures look at him.
“What’s the mission?” Yuuji asks, staying by the door. He’d like to get this as over with as possible, and he can read the reports on the way there if he has to. If it means he gets out of this meeting sooner.
“Not a mission, kid,” Kusakabe grunts. He gestures to a chair. “Have a seat.”
Yuuji looks back and forth between Kusakabe and Okkotsu and the meeting screen. He doesn’t say anything as he slowly walks to the table, trying to gauge what’s going on. This isn’t a mission, but it seems serious. They would have called him in if it wasn’t, and yet…
Taking his seat, he presses his lips together and stares at the screen.
“Fushiguro Megumi has been traced back to a killing in Europe,” a board member explains. “It’s the first one he seems to have committed outside of Japan.”
Yuuji swallows, feeling his mouth dry. Is that true? He didn’t even know that Megumi had been traveling that far. From what he had mentioned, he’s been all over Japan, sure, but Europe? If Megumi’s goal extends further than Japan, what does that mean for the rest of the world? Who are his targets? Just non-sorcerers?
“I… Are we sure?” he asks, trying to find his voice.
“We’re sure,” Okkotsu says, his voice low. It’s filled with worry and disappointment. Currently, he’s not looking at Yuuji. His eyes are downcast, looking at his hands as he fiddles with his ring.
“Are we doing something about it?” Yuuji asks. “Are you sending me there?”
“What we have called you here for, Itadori Yuuji,” Gakuganji starts. “We would like to know if you knew of this.”
Yuuji furrows his brows and looks back at the screen. His mouth is parted in shock and a bit of offense as he says, “No, I didn’t know. How would I?”
“Yuuji—” Kusakabe begins, but then he’s cut off.
“Wouldn’t it make sense for someone like you to know about Fushiguro Megumi’s plans?” Gakuganji’s old and rugged voice cuts him off. It’s accusatory, dripping with anger.
Yuuji’s heart stops, and he freezes in place. His jaw is clenched so hard that his teeth press together and his head aches, but he can’t bring himself to think about anything other than they know. They know. Somehow, they know. That’s what this meeting is about. Megumi is wanted by the board. Execution hangs over his head. Yuuji meets him in secret, but he doesn’t do anything about it.
His fists tighten at his sides.
“Allow me to rephrase the question,” Gakuganji says. “Are you involved or complacent with the murders of non-sorcerers committed by Fushiguro Megumi?”
Yuuji attempts to swallow down the lump in his throat, but it won’t leave. It’s like a pill has lodged itself there, unmoving, choking him slowly. Painfully.
“Yuuji…” Okkotsu reaches for him. His eyes are soft, a reassuring smile resting on his lips, like he’s trying to say that he’s not going to let anything bad happen. “You need to answer the question.”
Nodding, Yuuji looks back at the board. “Of course, I’m not involved with that. I don’t know what Megumi is trying to achieve, but I want him to stop, too. It’s against regulation as a sorcerer, and I know that he’s broken several laws.”
“Is there more to your statement?” Gakuganji presses. “Anything that you would like to tell us?”
I see him once a month. I could end this. I have the power to, but I can’t. I can’t hurt him. I can’t fight him. I’m weak. I love him. I miss him. I—
“No.”
He expects them to push back. There should be some sort of interrogation, more accusations, and the threat of title denouncement or loss of status as a Special Grade. Hell, they might even deem him as an accomplice and make him wanted, too. Anything goes with this fucking board, and it’s not like Kusakabe and Okkotsu can do much when they’re so outnumbered.
The silence in the room is so thick that it’s suffocating. No one says a word, and Yuuji has to wonder how much they know. They have to know. How, Yuuji isn’t sure, but there’s no way that he’s been meeting with Megumi every month since last July, and they don’t know. The fact that they’re not hanging it over his head is surprising, but it’s almost like there’s something more.
“Is that all?” he asks in an attempt to test the waters and see what they know.
A board member answers, “We just want to confirm your loyalty to us.”
Yuuji scoffs. “I’m not loyal to you. I’m loyal to my friends.”
“Is Fushiguro Megumi not your friend?”
Memories flash through Yuuji’s head. It hits him all at once — the first time he meets Megumi, riding with him back to Jujutsu Tech, running into him in the hall, learning they were dorm neighbors, fighting in the detention center, reuniting with him at the Exchange Event, learning of his sister, defeating those curses at the bridge, fighting in Shibuya, pushing him away, hearing him ask — no, beg — Yuuji to save him, following him through the Culling Games, losing him, fighting like hell to get him back, realizing he loves him, saving him, comforting him, relating to him, receiving his journal as a birthday gift, calling him “Megumi” for the first time, giving his old journal to him as a confession, kissing him, loving him, training with him, mentoring Sora and Hitori with him, fighting with him — every moment with Megumi plays back until Yuuji’s left with the last thing that happened.
Losing him.
He swallows. The air is so thick that it drags down his throat. His chest heaves as he tries to fight back tears, mourning the man that he once loved. The same man that sits across from him, indifferent, on the first of every month. Even if the board knows about their meetings, they have to know that nothing comes of it. Not ever.
Yuuji could confess his love and cry and beg for Megumi to come back, but it will never happen. Megumi is too set on doing… whatever it is that he’s doing. This goal of his has become his top priority. Over everything else. And whatever Yuuji and Megumi might have had, it’s not enough.
“No,” Yuuji eventually answers. The moment the word falls from his lips, it lodges itself in his chest, piercing his heart. “Megumi is something else to me—” He’s more than any word could ever describe. “—but it doesn’t matter. He’s made his choice.”
“Come on,” Kusakabe says, addressing the screen. “We all know how this old song and dance goes. I don’t think we have anything else to say or do.”
He doesn’t like the way that Kusakabe says it. So matter-of-fact. Like he knows Yuuji. Like he understands what beats in the place of his heart — an organ that lives for Megumi. We know how this old song and dance goes. They can’t know. They don’t know what it is that Yuuji and Megumi have with these meetings, and they’ll never be able to understand it.
“Very well,” Gakuganji says. “Itadori Yuuji. You are dismissed.”
Yuuji nods, standing from his seat. His legs feel shaky, and his heart won’t stop racing. They know. It’s all he can think about. They know, and they’re not doing anything about it, and that almost makes it scarier.
When he leaves the meeting room, it dawns on him that this could have been a test. Maybe they knew, and they were wanting to see if Yuuji would tell them as a way to test his loyalty. If that’s the case, he’s failed. He’s too selfish to turn over Megumi like that. Not with execution hanging over his head. A part of him naively thinks that he can fix this. Megumi doesn’t have to be killed in order to be stopped, and if anyone’s going to do it, it will be Yuuji.
But how would they know? How did they figure it out? Did they find out organically, by Yuuji being reckless, or did someone tell them?
He walks aimlessly to the common area. The sun is beginning to set, casting warm, orange light through the windows. His footsteps echo through the halls, and all he can think about is the fact that things really have gone to shit. He didn’t think it could be this bad. After defeating Sukuna, were they not set up for success? Or was it just failure in disguise?
Yuuji reaches the kitchen and finds Nobara and Ieiri sitting and talking to one another. They’re close to each other, whispering quietly, and when they see him, they jolt apart. At first, he doesn’t think much of it, other than “weird,” but then it clicks for him.
They know.
“Hey, Yuuji,” Nobara says from the table. “What’s up?”
“I just got out of a meeting with the higher ups,” Yuuji says casually, opening the fridge. “They wanted to know if I knew about a recent kill.”
“Megumi?” she asks.
Yuuji hums. He looks over at her and Ieiri, both wearing matching expressions of worry. This is their chance. One of them, or both of them, had to have said something to the higher ups, right? Neither approve of his meetings with Megumi, but they’d never intervene with him directly.
“Yuuji, listen,” Ieiri starts. She stands from the table, her tired eyes gazing at him with worry.
Yuuji clenches his teeth and turns away. “So, it was you?”
“What’s going on?” Nobara asks.
“Or what is both of you?” he asks, turning back to look at them, his voice raising.
Ieiri holds both hands up in a placating manner and says, “Nobara didn’t say anything.”
“Well, why would you?!” Yuuji bursts, slamming the fridge shut. Something in the door rattles, and he closes his eyes as he tries to calm himself. “What if they try to intervene? What if a fight breaks out? What if they k—”
“You don’t know what you’re doing, Yuuji,” Ieiri accuses, her voice raising, too. “You don’t understand that we’ve all seen this before.”
“What the hell is going on?” Nobara yells, cutting in.
“The higher ups know that I’ve seen Megumi,” Yuuji growls, pointing at Ieiri. “And she’s the reason why.”
Nobara spins to her. “You told them?”
“Yes, I did, and it’s not because I want Megumi killed,” Ieiri defends. Her eyebrows are pinched, and she scowls as she reaches into her lab coat pocket for her cigarettes. Not even caring that they’re indoors, she lights one and takes a long drag. “I told them because I’ve seen this shit before, and I don’t want it to end the same way.”
“What are you talking about?” Yuuji asks. He’s practically begging, wanting so desperately to understand why Ieiri would put both him and Megumi on the board’s radar like that.
“You are not Satoru, and I don’t want you falling down that same path!” she hits back, pointing her cigarette at him. “I know that look you wear when you go see Megumi, and I know what you fucking talk about when you meet, even without you telling me about it. I’ve seen this shit before, and Kusakabe and Yuuta deserved to know about it. I didn’t think they’d tell the whole fucking board!”
Yuuji only stares at her, unable to put into words what the hell he’s thinking. She’s mentioning Gojo, but what does he have to do with this? In what way is Yuuji similar to him?
“Why would they tell the board about this?” Nobara asks.
Ieiri sighs and inhales another puff. “I don’t know. Honestly. If I had to guess, Kusakabe probably let it slip. It could have been Yuuta, too. Considering he was caught in the crossfire the first time around.”
“Care to fill us in on the context?” Yuuji snaps, trying to wrap his mind around everything. Ieiri is being vague, and now, somehow, Okkotsu is involved, too? Or, at least, he understands why Ieiri said something. Yuuji doesn’t get it. What does this have to do with Gojo?
“Ask me when you’re not fucking yelling at me and I don’t have a headache,” Ieiri bites back. “What you need to understand is that you’re not the first person to put love over logic, and I don’t want it coming back to bite you in the ass.”
Then she walks out, leaving Yuuji and Nobara alone in the kitchen.
March 18, 2025
I don’t understand what Ieiri-san is talking about, but I understand even less why she would have went to Kusakabe-sensei and Okkotsu about me meeting with Megumi. If it’s true that this is something that’s happened before, then why aren’t they doing anything to stop it? Why are they still allowing things like this to happen again? Isn’t this what Gojo-sensei died for? To keep shit like this from happening
Three quick knocks on the door, a pause, two more knocks, and the soft click of heels.
Yuuji waits for Ieiri to open the door to her office, rocking back and forth with his hands in his pockets. He’s not as mad as he was the other day, but he can’t help but feel out of the loop. Now that he’s had some time to think it over, he’s not as worried for Megumi’s safety as he was before. No, it’s the fact that the board isn’t opting to do anything that worries him.
When Ieiri opens the door, she looks as tired as ever. She’s got a mask pulled down over her chin, and a pair of rubber gloves covering her hands. Peeking inside behind her, Yuuji sees that she has some sort of… thing out on a table with a light over it. It’s gelatinous and red. Meaty.
Yuuji directs his gaze back to the doctor. “Ieiri-san.”
“Happy birthday, Yuuji,” is all she says.
“Oh, uh, thank you,” he replies. “Can I come in? Or are you busy?”
Ieiri hums and steps out of the way. “You can come in. I’m just finishing up.”
Yuuji nods and enters, shutting the door behind him. The infirmary is as it always looks. White, fluorescent lighting leaves harsh, dark shadows in the corners of the room and under each object. The walls are faded, with water stains from the pipes that run through the rest of the building. There’s a clean, disinfectant sort of scent that’s invaded his nose, and shelves — floor to ceiling — are filled with medicines, tools, things in jars, and more.
Ieiri walks to her desk, stripping her hands of her gloves and tossing them into a trashcan. “That’s better,” she mumbles as she falls back into her chair with a sigh. “What do you need, Yuuji?”
Yuuji takes a seat across from her. “I want to know why you told Kusakabe-sensei and Okkotsu about me and Megumi. What did you mean when you said you’ve seen it before?”
Ieiri exhales through her nose and looks down at the desk. As she’s removing her mask, she begins to say, “You’re a good kid, Yuuji. Megumi, too.” She pauses, pressing her lips together, and looks back up at him. “And I know what this school does to good kids.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, leaning forward.
Ieiri smiles, and it doesn’t reach her eyes. Like everything else about her, this smile is tired. Worn down. Fondness shines in her eyes, but it’s outweighed by exhaustion. “What do you know about the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons?”
“Only what they mention in class,” Yuuji replies. “Geto Suguru, a Special Grade curse user, unleashed curses across Japan on the twenty-fourth of December in 2017. Sorcerers were stationed in Kyoto and Tokyo to fight them off, but it was a way to distract everyone while Geto Suguru went to Jujutsu Tech to try and take Rika from Okkotsu. Okkotsu fought and defeated him, and Gojo-sensei killed him.”
Ieiri nods, but all Yuuji can look at are her eyes. They look so… sad. That smile she still wears on her face, it’s duller now, and she gives a small shrug. “That’s… basically it.”
“‘Basically’?” Yuuji asks.
“Would you like to know the real story?” she offers, looking him in the eye. “The story behind the story.”
Yuuji pauses, unsure what to make of it. The “real story.” How much changes once he learns it? What can the past tell of his present?
“Tell me.”
Ieiri nods and sighs.
And then she’s talking. She doesn’t start on the date of December 24, 2017. She doesn’t even start in that year. She takes him back to 2006, when she was in high school. One of three students in her class. Ieiri, Gojo, and… Geto.
There’s a real smile on her face as she talks about it. Yuuji doesn’t think that he’s ever seen her smile like that before. Everything is kept pretty clipped and short — little anecdotes to give him context without her talking for too long. She talks about sporting events, trips to the movies, going to class together, having sleepovers. Techniques are explained, demonstrations are given, and the nature of their jobs are laid out. Gojo and Geto took on missions, and Ieiri stayed behind. Her technique was too valuable —Reversed Curse Technique — so she was ordered to stay at the school and was set on healing classmates and sorcerers coming back from a mission.
Ieiri talks about how she never really felt envious. She didn’t like to fight, and she was glad to be protected from danger. Until she learned that it meant watching everyone else risk their lives. For years, Ieiri watched classmates and friends go on missions and come back injured or dead. Then she graduated and she continued to do her work.
Only with students now.
People younger than her. Kids just like she used to be. Just like Gojo used to be. Just like Megumi, and Okkotsu, and Kusakabe, and Nobara, and Maki, and Inumaki, and everyone used to be. Sora and Hitori.
Yuuji.
Ieiri tells him how she watched her two best friends slowly fall further and further into the system. They both bowed to it, whether they wanted to or not. Gojo, as a pawn — a weapon — for the higher ups. Geto, as a failure — a piece removed from the board — for the higher ups to target. Both cases, she explains, are the extreme result of what this system puts out: Sorcerers and curse users.
“Satoru wanted to change the cycle from the bottom, up,” she tells him. “That’s why he chose to stick around here. With me. He became a teacher and sought to raise a new generation of sorcerers that didn’t have to put up with what he and Suguru did.
“Suguru wanted to eradicate the system entirely. His goal was to use his cursed spirits to kill all non-sorcerers, because it’s their uncontrolled release of cursed energy that creates cursed spirits. If all of humanity were sorcerers, there would be no cursed spirits, and there would be no reason to risk your life on missions.”
“But how did he come to that conclusion?” Yuuji asks, rubbing his temple. “Something radicalized him.”
“You’re right. Something did,” Ieiri replies. “Have you ever heard of the Star Plasma Vessel?”
And so, Yuuji learns. He learns about the mission assigned to Gojo and Geto, only teenagers then; their secret agreement to give Amanai Riko a choice to merge with Tengen or not; their fight to protect her; and their eventual failure.
Yuuji looks at Ieiri’s face, her gaze downcast. She’s staring at her hands on the desk, fidgeting with a pen. “I’ve never seen Satoru look so inhuman before, but…” Ieiri pauses. A breath suspended in the air. “I’ve never seen him look so human either…”
She explains to him everything she knows of the mission. What had happened changed Gojo and Geto forever, and it set them on two very different paths. But it was more than just two friends drifting apart.
“I know how your meetings with Megumi go, because I had to watch Satoru have the very same kind with Suguru for ten years,” Ieiri says. Her voice is firm, and she’s looking at him like she needs him to understand. “It carried on until Suguru did something Satoru couldn’t look past anymore, and he killed him. Do you get what I’m saying, Yuuji?”
Yuuji swallows. He gets it perfectly, but… “This isn’t like that. Megumi isn’t— I mean—”
“It is like that,” she insists. “And I don’t want it to end the same way. Megumi’s a good kid. Fuck, I’ve known him for over fifteen years. He’s smart. He has a good heart.”
“But…?”
“But he’s painfully stubborn, and if this is anything like what happened with Suguru, then he’s not budging on what he thinks is right.”
“If he’s trying to do what Geto Suguru tried by killing non-sorcerers, then why would he let us know he’s the one doing the killing?” Yuuji asks. Maybe he gets the context. Maybe this is what Megumi is trying to achieve, but there’s something more to it that they’re not seeing. There’s another piece missing, and he doesn’t know where it fits.
“I don’t know why he’s killing non-sorcerers,” Ieiri admits with a sigh, leaning back into her chair. “I think there’s more to it, but we don’t know what it is. This world operates on balance and cycles. Satoru and Suguru. Even the previous owners of the Six Eyes and Limitless technique and the Ten Shadows technique. Now, it’s you and Megumi.”
Yuuji shakes his head and looks off to the side, staring at the wearing walls of the infirmary. He had become so acquainted with these walls for weeks on end. Has it really been three years already? All those days spent standing next to a bed, hoping a miracle would come. Some sort of blessing.
Instead they were cursed.
They were all cursed.
They were cursed the day they set foot in Hokkaido.
“I don’t want to kill Megumi, if I don’t have to,” Yuuji says, his gaze set on the empty infirmary bed. He can almost see three ghosts standing around it. Figures of people who were a lot younger, a lot more hopeful, and a lot more naïve than Yuuji is today.
“One day, he might not give you a choice,” is all Ieiri says.
April 1, 2025
I asked Megumi what he knew about Geto Suguru. Turns out he knows the full story too, including his father’s involvement. I didn’t know much about Fushiguro Toji, and Ieiri didn’t go into much detail about him, but it seems like Megumi doesn’t even care. Or if he did he’s not saying anything to me. Gojo-sensei’s letter to him makes more sense now, but… I still don’t get it. Megumi knows he can break the cycle, but he won’t.
May 1, 2025
Megumi asked me if the higher ups are going to do anything about our meetings. I told him they never explicitly said they know, but we can assume that they do. Even then, it doesn’t seem like they’re planning to take any action, but they might be spying on us. He said that they aren’t, and he would be able to tell if they were.
June 1, 2025
Nobara is still trying to convince me that these meetings aren’t a good idea. She’s getting more tired of everything, and she thinks that I’m letting my feelings for Megumi get in the way of everything. Every time there’s a new kill reported, she just scoffs. I know that deep down somewhere she cares, but I think what she wants more is an apology.
“He’s such a selfish bastard,” Nobara curses, shoving her hammer back into her belt. “I’m sure he’s long gone by now.”
She and Yuuji stand in the middle of the woods, somewhere outside of Fukushima. The air around them is metallic and fleshy. Broken trees surround them, bent with wood splintering out of every crack. The sign of a brutal fight. There’s blood spatters everywhere, and a single body.
It lies in the middle of the clearing, beaten and mauled, and it’s hard to make out whether or not the victim is male or female. There are violent claw marks across its face, slashing from the left temple down to the jaw. Yuuji doesn’t even have to look closely to see a peek of bone from its skull, the muscle still desperately clinging to skin, and the face is torn in jagged, uneven depths.
The blood still shines.
This is fresh.
The marks on the face aren’t the only damage to the body. Nobara points out bruising on the wrists and ankles, like the victim was restrained, and if they had to guess, Yuuji would place his bets on the use of Megumi’s toads. It’s possible he opened his domain for this, or an open version of it, just to make the kill easier.
While the victim was restrained, it seems like Megumi had used another shikigami on it. Likely the Ox. Two, large puncture marks sit right in the chest. Yuuji can see the shattered remains of broken ribs, coated in blood as it gathers into a small pool in the base of the wound. The rest of the blood seems to have drained into the earth, the ox’s horns having pierced all the way through the victim’s back.
There’s so much damage and so much blood that it’s hard to tell what happened first. Did Megumi surprise attack the victim with Totality, hitting the face before restraining them and killing them with the ox? Or was the victim restrained first, and then Totality and Piercing Ox were both used at the same time?
Regardless, looking at this scene and the careless way that the body was left behind it’s just…
Evil.
Yuuji inhales shakily, having been a while since he’s last seen one of Megumi’s kills. Nobara steps back from the body, and her nose scrunches as she steps through the scene, trying to avoid getting blood on her shoes, though she has to know that it’s pointless.
“Are you picking up any residuals?” she asks, turning to him.
Yuuji sighs, knowing that she already knows the answer. “Nothing, except for Megumi’s.”
All she does is hum.
It’s silent. Not the sort of coexisting silence that they used to have. Not the sort of calm, tranquil silence that they long for. Their silence now is tense. It pulls at Yuuji’s heart, curls around his stomach, and invades his mind, telling him, are you happy with what you see?
Save people. That’s the one thing that Yuuji wants. He wants to save people. He wants to give people the chance at a proper life and a proper death. And this…
He looks at the body, committing it to memory, like he does with every single one of Megumi’s kills. He’ll memorize it, memorize their name once he knows it, and then he’ll write it down. Another person’s memory to keep alive. Another body to add to the pile of deaths that Yuuji is responsible for.
Everyone will tell him that this isn’t his fault, but it is. Somewhere along the way, he failed Megumi. The system failed Megumi, but Yuuji failed him, too. He failed him when he didn’t protect him from the board enough. He failed him when he let him push himself beyond his limits. He failed him when he stood by while Megumi tamed Round Deer, taking a chance by relying on the barriers rather than on his own technique.
He failed him when he wasn’t strong enough, and he left Megumi to fight alone in Hokkaido.
… This is no proper death.
“Are you still going to see him on the first?” Nobara asks, breaking Yuuji’s attention away from the body. Guilt and disappointment remain in the back of his mind, eating away at him, reminding him that — in a way — he is complacent in all of this.
“I have to,” is what he says in reply.
And Nobara just lets the silence answer for her.
July 1, 2025
I didn’t ask Megumi about the body, and he didn’t bring it up. He mentioned that he had been travelling, and I resisted the urge to say “I know.” I don’t know what’s worse. Addressing it or not addressing it. I feel guilty either way. Like I should be doing something. Every time I’m with him, it just feels different though. He tries to be the old Megumi. I know he does. I don’t know what it is that makes me so special, but I just wish that it was enough for him to come back.
August 1, 2025
Megumi asked if he should try to get Nobara anything for her birthday.
I told him that I don’t think she wants to hear from him.
It hurt to say that, and I think it hurt him to hear it, but Nobara’s pretty set on putting this behind her. I try not to think about how we all used to be. I didn’t tell him that we don’t celebrate our birthdays the same way that we used to either.
September 1, 2025
I let it slip that I wasn’t teaching anymore. Megumi might have known that already, but he was upset about it nonetheless. Says I’m being punished still. I don’t really see it as a punishment though. I’ve been working my way up to being a teacher again, but I’m not in any sort of rush. I don’t want to mentor if it’s just going to get people hurt. Since I have to take missions as a Special Grade, it’s probably for the best this way.
October 1, 2025
I don’t know how to explain it, but it feels like Megumi has been looking worse. He seems a lot more tired and snappy. Really distant. It’s very different from the first time I met him, and I’m worried that it’s just going to keep getting worse. It’s like he’s not sleeping, or like he has way too much on his mind. It’s like he’s overwhelmed at all times, but I don’t know what could be causing it.
“So, are you still not teaching?” Megumi asks, taking a sip of his coffee.
“I’ve started to help out in hand-to-hand combat training,” Yuuji answers with a small shrug. “Mostly, I’m on missions. But when I can, I like to help out in the classroom.”
Megumi hums. “Do you want to be a teacher again?”
“Honestly… I’m not sure,” Yuuji replies. “Nobara’s been killing it, and none of the students want to—”
He stops himself, choking on his own breath. There’s been a precedent set. With Yuuji and Megumi. A student might choose to shadow a mission for a lower grade curse, but it’s rare. Most of them choose to continue training and go on their own missions, with the appropriate supervision. Does Megumi know about that?
“None of the students want to shadow on missions,” Yuuji finishes, his voice much quieter than before.
He can see Megumi’s jaw tighten, his grip around the coffee cup tensing. Anger flashes through his eyes, and so does pain. So much pain.
“So, the board’s learned their lesson?” he asks. His voice is sarcastic, cold, and empty. “Didn’t think they were capable of that.”
“At least students are being safe,” Yuuji says, trying to diffuse his anger. “There have been some changes, and they’re good.”
“They should have been there in the first place,” Megumi hisses.
“At least it’s something.”
“Something means nothing when people still die.”
Yuuji sighs and looks down at the table. All around him, people laugh and chatter. They drink their coffee and eat their food. The world moves on just beyond the window next to them. Crowds of people walk through the streets, and beyond that, there are nations running, plants growing, people dying, and babies being born.
Everyone keeps moving forward, but Yuuji and Megumi are still stuck. Here. Together.
Haunted by a single mission.
December 18, 2025
I guess I’ve started teaching more. I’ve been helping with lessons and training, and Nobara usually asks me to come by and demonstrate my techniques for the students. It’s been nice. I’m trying not to get too attached to it all. The higher ups have been discussing reinstating me, but I can’t say that I’m entirely interested. Not unless someone special comes along who would need my training, or if Maki and Nobara end up having their hands too full. It’s probably for the best that I stay far away from the students otherwise.
Yuuji sighs as he walks across the Gojo estate graveyard. It’s silent, the air is freezing — biting at his cheeks and the tips of his ear — and his breath fogs in front of his face, distorting his view. Everything around him is grey. The sky is grey, the gravestones are grey, the grass is dead and coated in a light dust of snow, and it just adds to the dull, monotonous tone of the world around him.
When he finally reaches the grave he had been seeking, he stops. Yuuji doesn’t bring any flowers with him. He gets the feeling Gojo would call it corny and tell him to spend the money on something else instead, so all he has with him is his heart and his mind full of broken promises and unanswered questions.
Ever since he learned about the truth behind the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons, he hasn’t been able to shake it from his mind. Yuuji’s never had the time to stop and address it — besides, who else can he go to about this? — so he stands before Gojo’s grave just hoping to understand him.
He thinks he understands him.
Ieiri had once said that Gojo put love over logic, and in the end, it led to death. Geto’s death, sorcerers’ deaths, so much death. Is that the path that Yuuji is heading down now?
He just wants to know. Something. Anything. He’s tired of feeling so lost. Everyone is hurting, but no one more than him. With Megumi gone, it’s like a part of him is missing, and he’s been trying to fill this void that’s been there ever since his nineteenth birthday.
He’s clinging to a ghost, watching Megumi slowly disappear, fading from view until he’s nothing more than a memory. He’s going to have to watch his name go down in history as a villain. Someone horrible. And what can Yuuji do about it, other than let it continue to happen?
Yuuji has the power to end this, but that means killing Megumi, and is that something that he can really do?
“What was going through your mind?” Yuuji asks. His words float in the air, carried away by a sharp breeze. He stands before Gojo’s grave, staring at the kanji of his name, and he wishes nothing more for there to be some kind of “other world,” just so the wind can take his words there.
He sighs as he collapses to the ground, bowing his head into the cold snow, letting it burn against his forehead. Yuuji closes his eyes, squeezing them shut as tightly as he can, as his fists ball up in front of him. He tries to take in a slow breath, but it’s more of a heave than anything, and when he exhales, a choked sob escapes him.
“It wasn’t supposed to fucking be like this,” he cries out, punching the ground. Anger rises, but he doesn’t even know what he’s angry about. Is it Megumi? The higher ups? The fact that Gojo’s dead? Or the fact that nothing’s changed? “You didn’t want it to be like this.”
Only the wind replies, a soft whistle in the air as it carries his cries throughout the mountains. Somewhere, back at Jujutsu Tech, he’s left Nobara to mourn this night alone. He’ll return to her, they’ll cry together, they’ll remember what happened to them in Shibuya, but for right now, Yuuji needs to address what happened in Shinjuku, too.
Gojo died and left them to try and pick everything up. And they tried their best. They really did. No one would have guessed that international intervention meant creating a system more fucked up than the one before it, but now Yuuji is here, looking for answers, trying to remember what Gojo would say to him, if he were still here.
“Am I being just as naïve as you were with Geto Suguru?” Yuuji mumbles, his lips brushing against the snow. “Is there really only one way to solve this problem?”
What would Gojo do? What would he say? Would he understand Yuuji? Would he look at Yuuji and see himself? Or is it different now? Would he take what he knows and come to the conclusion that Megumi should be killed? Is that why he fought without holding back in Shinjuku? Did he know that Megumi would be capable of something like this?
“Gojo-sensei, please,” Yuuji whispers. He can barely hear it himself. His words go to the grave. Gojo’s grave. Maybe even his own. “I understand you. So, help me understand what needs to happen next.”
January 1, 2026
Happy new year. Winter is always a hard time for me. Too many bad things have happened. Shinjuku, Hokkaido, it seems my greatest losses take place during this time of year. Megumi and I didn’t talk much today. I guess neither of us were really feeling it.
February 1, 2026
Megumi was antsy today. He kept fidgeting and messing with his hands. I tried to ask him, but he snapped at me. He looked really shaken too. I’m worried about him. I don’t know how much he’s pushing himself, but it’s not looking good for him.
March 1, 2026
Megumi’s been overseas again. I don’t know how he’s able to travel so easily, and whenever I ask, he doesn’t tell me. I guess it might have something to do with his shadows, but to keep his technique active for that long, it would take a lot of cursed energy. Where is he getting it all from?
Every time I try to get information out of him, he dances around it. I guess he’s pretty set on not telling me anything about his plans, but he mentioned that he’ll be in Japan for the month, in the Yokohama area. Why he’s telling me, I don’t know. I don’t want to think about what that could mean.
Yuuji follows the sound of screams through an alleyway and behind a building. It’s dark out, with flickering, dim streetlights showing him where he needs to go. Somewhere in the sky, hidden under the cover of clouds, is the moon, but no light shines through. Yuuji is getting by with what he has as he runs past dumpsters, boxes, and trash.
The area’s already been cleared out, but a person must have got in. Fuck. If they’re getting attacked by the curse, then Yuuji doesn’t know how much longer he has to save them. The screams sound horrible, cracking from volume, raw and filled with terror.
Yuuji grits his teeth and runs faster.
He can’t hear any of the curse’s warbling, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t one. Still, it should be pretty easy to defeat. This mission was for a Grade 2, and while this would have been given out to any other sorcerer or staff at that level, Yuuji actually volunteered to take it.
A reported Grade 2 curse, terrorizing people along the docks of Yokohama.
If he could spend a day or two here, maybe locate Megumi, then he might have a better idea of what he’s doing. His targets are random, and they’re not often in the same place. If Megumi’s goal is to kill non-sorcerers, he’s doing it in a very tedious and roundabout way. This could give him answers, but first, he has to take care of the mission.
Yuuji rounds a corner, his fists alight with cursed energy, as the screams grow louder and louder. His shoes skid as he stops himself, kicking up dust and littered paper. He prepares himself for a fight, ready to lunge, but when his eyes finally adjust, he realizes that a curse is not what stands before him.
It’s the liquid, black recession of shadows, peeling away from the walls of the building in front of him, that catch his eye first. They bend and retract, shifting, as if someone’s taken the only light source and started to move it in erratic directions. The shadows then begin to move and slosh like water, slowly draining to a single point beneath a single person. His back faces Yuuji, and yet he doesn’t even need to see his face to know who he is.
Yuuji feels his heart drop so fast that it reaches his stomach, lodging itself there, heavy and twisted. It’s like he’s just gone down the big drop on a rollercoaster, only there’s no thrill. Just terror. His eyes fall from the unmoving man standing — knowing he’s just been caught — and find another figure on the other side, laid out on the ground against the wall, slumped and broken as blood pools around it, under the flashing glow of a single light.
“Megumi,” Yuuji says. It’s more like he tries to say it. The name drops dead from his lips, broken and fractured. It’s not like any other time that Yuuji’s ever said his name before. This time is an ugly amalgamation of hurt, disappointment, and betrayal.
Yuuji knows that Megumi kills. He’s seen the aftermath of it, he and Nobara and Maki have tried to prevent it, and he’s aware of how he does it. But this is his first time seeing it alone, facing it, coming to terms with the fact that this could have been prevented if Yuuji just put his feelings aside and stopped him once and for all.
But Yuuji is a coward. He’s a selfish coward. His want exceeds his need, and his purpose is outshined by his love. He has hope for something impossible, and it’s his naivety that has brought him here — in Yokohama, standing before the man he loves standing before a man he’s just killed.
“What are you doing here, Yuuji?” is all Megumi asks, swinging his sword to get rid of the excess blood from the blade. It hits the ground with a sickening wet sound, painting the concrete red. “Don’t tell me you followed me here.”
“I’m—” Yuuji swallows. “I had a mission here. Just assigned. I was following the screams because I thought someone was being attacked by a curse.”
Megumi hums. “Grade 2?”
“How did you—”
“I exorcised it for you. It was in my way.”
Yuuji stares at Megumi’s back, trying to understand everything in front of him. The curse was already taken care of, and that left Megumi to hunt as he pleased. Yuuji, like a fool, thought he could learn more about what Megumi was doing, but instead it just led him to this very moment. His hands twitch at his sides as his brain and his heart fight with one another. He can’t just let this happen.
“You— what are you doing here?” Yuuji asks, stepping forward. Cursed energy still burns around his fists as he tries to regulate his breathing.
“What does it look like I’m doing, Yuuji?” Megumi replies casually, like he was just supposed to understand this. No, Yuuji will never understand this. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Not nothing,” Yuuji growls. Anger surges. He’s angry at himself, angry at Megumi, angry at the higher ups. Angry at everything. How is he supposed to handle this alone? How did anyone ever expect him to handle this alone?
“He’s dead already,” Megumi says, turning around. His glare is ruthless, blood splattered across his face, and his mouth is dipped down into a scowl. “You can’t save him, so what do you plan to do? Kill me?”
Yuuji takes another step forward, but it’s less confident. He falters for a moment at the accusation. What will he do? Is he going to kill Megumi right here? Right now?
Justice wavers, and he knows that he should avenge this man, his family, everyone who has been killed by Megumi before, and everyone who will mourn them after. That would be the right thing to do, right? If Yuuji commits to saving people, isn’t it better to save more at the sacrifice of one? Or is his hubris so great that he’s convinced he can save Megumi, too?
Yuuji knows that he’s not a hero. He’s a jujutsu sorcerer. That’s what Megumi has always said. So, killing him now, would that make him a hero?
Or a jujutsu sorcerer?
“Go…” he says. It’s more like a breath. A small exhale of air with the hint of a voice behind it. The word floats aimlessly through the air, and somewhere — deep inside — Yuuji’s faith crumbles. If killing him makes him a hero or a sorcerer, what does doing nothing do?
Make him a failure?
Megumi stuns for a moment, looking at Yuuji like he’s unsure if he means it. He can already see it on his face — a million thoughts flashing through his mind. Is this a trap? Will he attack me when my back is turned? Is he really letting me go?
He decides to chance it anyway. Megumi doesn’t say anything to him. There is no snide or victorious remark, no statement to be mistaken for “I’m sorry” or “I told you so.” It’s just silence as he slowly steps away from the body, leaving it in full view of Yuuji, the stars above, and the gods that sit behind them.
Megumi fades into the night, letting the shadows envelop him, and then he’s gone.
March 25, 2026
I’m a failure.
Yuuji walks into the coffee shop with a purpose, the bell ringing loud in his ears, and he knows that this visit won’t go long. Neither of them have spoken about what happened last week, and Yuuji’s not even sure if Megumi will show up after their impromptu run-in with each other, but he can’t let this go on.
It’s been eating at him ever since he watched Megumi disappear. He left without a second thought. No regrets. Megumi’s residuals were the only ones traced at the scene, of course, and it seems like he did get rid of the curse that Yuuji was meant to exorcise.
He can’t get the visual of the body out of his mind. It was all marred and mangled, a mix of flesh and skin and blood, with broken bones jutting from meat. The kills always look so violent. Like Megumi is taking his anger out on his victims. It’s almost to the point where one might think they’re putting up a fight, but what chance could a non-sorcerer stand against someone like Megumi?
Yuuji passes right by the counter and heads to the same spot where Megumi is always waiting for him. He can see him now, waiting at the table. Nothing sits in front of him — no coffee, no bagel. It seems like Yuuji wasn’t the only one thinking that this would be a short visit today.
Megumi can hear him storming up, and he turns to look at Yuuji with a plain expression. It makes Yuuji angry, the indifference, like he knows why Yuuji is upset, but he just doesn’t care. Is this really the same man that Yuuji has fought for, loved, and saved?
“Yuuji,” Megumi starts. It’s apprehensive. Defensive. He’s testing the waters, checking the temperature, seeing what might happen if he speaks out of turn.
“How could you do that?” Yuuji hisses, gritting his teeth as he tries to contain his rage. “How could you put me in that position?”
“Are you here to detain or kill me?” Megumi asks.
“Am I—” Yuuji sucks in a sharp breath and stops himself. He bites his fist, slowly lowering himself into his chair. A mix of emotions swarm within him, flooding his mind as he tries to remain calm. He doesn’t even know what he planned to do today. Slowly, he says, “I just don’t understand why you’re doing this.”
“It’s for the best that you don’t know, Yuuji,” Megumi insists. “I didn’t think that you would be there when I—” He glances away. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
“Are you?”
“I am.”
Yuuji looks at Megumi. Really looks at him.
He tries to understand him. They’ve essentially been through the same things. With Hokkaido and everything that he’s lost. Yuuji lost it, too. Shinjuku was different, but Yuuji can relate to it with Shibuya. Even then, Megumi seems more motivated by Hokkaido, so what is it that’s different?
Where did they split off?
Megumi has a face full of regret, but Yuuji knows that he would make the same decision, if given the chance. He would kill again. And again and again and again. He’d continue killing until his goal is finally fulfilled — whatever that may be — and Yuuji will let him.
Just like that night in Yokohama, Yuuji will let him.
“You keep killing though, Megumi,” Yuuji says, and he hates how broken his voice sounds. It’s so defeated, like it’s a fact that he’s finally accepted: Megumi will kill again.
Megumi presses his lips together. “I have to.”
“You don’t,” Yuuji pleads. “Whatever it is that you’re trying to do, I can help you, and we can do it the right way.”
Immediately, Megumi is shaking his head. His brows are pinched, and he looks at Yuuji like he’s insane. “I’m not letting you do that.”
“Well, when does this end? Ever?”
“You’ll know.”
“Megumi,” Yuuji whispers. It’s soft. The word is so delicate, the way that he says it, and he lets Megumi close his eyes to the sound of his name being spoken so gently. “Please. I can’t keep doing this without you.”
Megumi opens his eyes and stares back at Yuuji. He just looks so sad. His heart cracks, his chest tightens, and he wants to reach out and hold him close. Once upon a time, Yuuji could hold Megumi, and together, their pain would fade away. Now, Megumi won’t even let them sit next to each other. He won’t let Yuuji get close. There always has to be something in between them. Whether physical or metaphorical, it doesn’t matter.
“What do you want me to do, Yuuji?” Megumi whispers back with a small shrug of his shoulders. “You can’t fix this.”
“I can if you tell me how to help you,” Yuuji insists. “Please, Megumi, I—”
The words get choked up, but he forces them out anyway. His heart is on the table. Broken and bleeding.
“I love you.”
Megumi presses his lips together as his entire face falls. It’s like Yuuji has just said the most devastating thing. Delivered the worst news in the world. The words cut into Megumi in a way that no blade or use of Shrine ever will. Yuuji says three words, and they shatter his heart. The last thing in the world he ever wants to hear, and it’s the man he loves confessing his love right back.
“Why did you have to say that?”
The way that Megumi asks the question, it’s like he can barely get it out. His voice is higher, strained. Quiet. Yuuji can only stare at the expression on his face, and it’s worse than devastation. It’s complete and utter defeat. Hopelessness manifested into a single person. Yuuji’s confession has broken something inside of him, and he doesn’t know how.
“I mean it, Megumi,” he chokes out. “I love you.”
Megumi closes his eyes and turns towards the window. “You’re not supposed to love me after something like that.”
“I don’t think I could stop it if I tried.”
“Then you should try harder.”
Megumi exhales slowly, shaky, unsteady. He stands from his seat and looks back at Yuuji one last time, like it’s the last time he’ll ever be seen as Megumi. Maybe from this point forward, he will be something different. Something tainted by what Yuuji had seen the week prior. But for right now, he’s just Megumi.
“I’m only going to keep hurting you.”
And it doesn’t sound like a threat. No. It’s more like it’s a tragic admission. A statement of fact. Something undesirable but ultimately true.
Megumi will keep hurting Yuuji.
Yuuji will keep loving Megumi.
May 1, 2026
Megumi and I have fallen back into a sort of normal. If that’s what you can call it. We haven’t talked about last month. He just fills me in on things that he’s done, places that he’s been to. He leaves out the killing part, which is fine. I don’t think either of us plan to address that elephant in the room.
June 1, 2026
There are still moments when I think that the old Megumi is back. Sometimes, I think that I have a chance. I keep thinking that I can fix everything. It feels so impossible, but I’ve done the impossible before. I can save Megumi. I know I can. One day. I will.
July 17, 2026
Gakuganji is now a board member official. I wish I could say that this is a win for sorcerers, but I don’t think that it will be. But Kusakabe and Okkotsu seem more set on speaking out against issues and rulings. I don’t know what this might mean for them or for missions going forward, but I expect the three of them to be butting heads more often.
“Happy birthday, Nobara,” Yuuji says with a soft smile, wrapping his arms around her.
“Thanks,” she sighs as she buries her nose in the crook of his neck, holding him close. When she pulls away, she tilts her head towards the door. “We can head out in just a minute. I just wanted to rest for a bit.”
Yuuji nods and looks at the fading material of her eyepatch, the frays in the strap, and the broken, cracked leather in its main body. It looks how he’s been feeling lately. Overworked. Aged. Stretched thin. Missions have been more brutal than ever, and Yuuji’s been spending a lot of his time out more than he has in at Jujutsu Tech.
Nobara is getting there, too. He knows that she’s trying to hide it right now, but she’s just as tired as he is. Her missions have been growing in frequency, and on top of everything else, she was assigned to follow Megumi as a sort of ongoing task.
At first, she was adamantly against it. Okkotsu was the one who had approached her, asking her to do this for him, and she told him to find someone else. The issue is that Okkotsu wanted it to be someone he could trust, and the board won’t let Yuuji do it. Maki is working on reshaping the Zen’in clan, and Inumaki is helping her. That leaves Nobara.
Yuuji doesn’t know what to think of it all. Both he and Nobara return to the school exhausted, their cursed energy drained, and they might share a meal together before they part ways, off to fall asleep until they return to their jobs the next day. Part of it hurts her. It has to. Yuuji knows that it can’t be easy to always be tracking him like that. Following body after body. Securing the scenes, reporting it to the higher ups, and calling the appropriate authorities.
“If you’re too tired, we can just call it for tonight,” Yuuji offers.
They were meant to go into the city together. Nobara had been talking about how much she wanted to do something extravagant for her birthday with their friends, but instead, they stand in the center of her bedroom, worn down from the day.
“I want to, but—” Nobara groans. “—I just don’t know how long I’m supposed to keep doing this. Chasing him. I have to see and report all of those bodies, I have to fight curses, and I have to be a teacher here, too?”
Something tugs in Yuuji’s chest. Her rants sound familiar. So familiar. “You won’t have to keep doing it for long.”
“I don’t want to have to do it, period,” she says, with a scoff. “I tried to ask Okkotsu to give this assignment to another sorcerer, but he said that he’ll take it on once he’s more established in the board.”
“How long will that be?”
“Like I fucking know.” Nobara sighs and falls back onto her bed. Staring up at the ceiling, her chest rises and falls with slow, even breaths. “I just don’t know how much longer they expect to keep working us like fucking dogs.”
Yuuji wordless joins her. He knows her pain. He knows her frustration. They’ve fallen into a system that’s designed to work them until they die, and at this rate, it will be sooner rather than later.
“I know that it’s the board doing all of this, but I can’t help blaming Megumi, too,” she admits. Bitterness rises in her voice as her rant continues: “He left us. He left you and me and everyone else behind, and then he started doing—” she waves her arms flippantly, “—this, and now we’re here, filling in the vacuum he’s left and chasing him across the fucking country.”
Nobara huffs, sitting up. “And the worst part is that the higher ups don’t even fucking realize that this is their fault?” She looks at Yuuji like she expects him to answer, but he knows that she doesn’t. “They didn’t stop for a moment and think, ‘gee, I wonder what pushed my very diligent employee to turn against us and start killing people’? And now, what? They get to sit around while we do all the work? Don’t make me fucking laugh!”
She falls back again, letting the air slam out of her as she bounces on the cushion. Her eyes shine with tears that she won’t let fall until Yuuji’s out of sight, and he pretends not to see them. There’s no comfort, no explanation, no relief given. Nobara’s ranting is valid. She’s right. Excellent points have been made, and it’s nothing that Yuuji’s never considered before.
Yuuji can feel his heart aching every time he thinks of Megumi, but Nobara lost someone, too. They both lost their best friend, and while it might have been different, the hurt is still there. This system has failed them — all of them — and it left them to pick up the pieces anyway.
“Come on,” Nobara says, standing up. “I’m too pissed to stay in now. We’re going out, and we’re getting fucking wasted. I’m calling Maki, Okkotsu, and Inumaki.”
Yuuji lets out a small huff of a laugh, but there’s no humor behind it. He stands with her, following her to the hall. They both stop when they see a small box sitting in front of her door. It’s black, with a little red bow on the lid, and there’s a small tag attached to the side with Nobara’s name written on it.
“Is this from you?” Nobara asks, raising an eyebrow at Yuuji.
Yuuji shrugs and shakes his head. “No, my present was just going to be me paying for your drinks.”
“I’m noting that for later,” she says, bending down to grab the present. Giving it a little shake, she hums. “It’s really light.”
Yuuji watches as she opens it, carefully removing the lid and sifting through the small layers of tissue paper. Inside, on a small cushion bed, sits a new eyepatch. Nobara pulls it out, examining it. The material is a delicate silk, with a single-thread rose in the center of the body. The strap is thicker than her current one, more durable and expertly crafted. A small gasp escapes her lips as she runs her thumb over the material, and she looks back at the tag on the box.
“Who’s it from?” Yuuji asks.
She reads the kanji of her name, brows furrowed, murmuring it over and over again. Yuuji steps closer, trying to see if anything else is written, but it’s just her name. And the handwriting is really familiar.
“Wait…” he starts to say. “Is this—”
“Fuck this.”
She knows it, too. Of course, she does. Of course, Yuuji does. There’s no way that they don’t know that handwriting.
It’s a sweet gesture, a nice sentiment, it could be taken as an apology, but Nobara isn’t looking for that right now. She huffs, shoving the eyepatch back into its box. Her mouth is twisted into a scowl as she forces the lid back on, not trying to be careful, and she storms away from the door, towards her desk and the trashcan next to it.
“I don’t need anything from him,” Nobara spits, throwing — or rather, slamming — it into the bin. It hits the bottom with a sharp thud, and she huffs, nostrils flaring with anger.
Yuuji doesn’t say anything, swallowing down the lump in his throat. Megumi…
When was he here?
“Go,” Nobara orders, jerking her head towards the door. “I’ll call you all when I’m ready to go out. We are fucking going out.”
Yuuji knows it’s probably best not to argue right now. He shouldn’t try to talk about Megumi, and he shouldn’t try to comfort her. That’s not what she wants from him. So, instead, he nods, giving her the space she does want, and exits the room.
For the rest of the night, they don’t talk about it.
Nobara doesn’t tell any of their seniors, and Yuuji knows better than to bring it up. He lets her smile and drink the memory away, enjoying her birthday on his tab. They move across the city, each of them trying to forget their own responsibilities, and even if it’s just a few hours, they each feel like normal people. Just adults trying to get through the world.
Yuuji is the one to bring Nobara to her room when the night is over. They made their way back to the school through sheer willpower and determination, and he’s got half a mind to make sure that the birthday girl ends up in her bed. She’s practically deadweight in his arms, and he decides it’s easier to just carry her than try to convince her to walk. When he gets her into bed, he carefully removes her eyepatch and sets it down on her desk, and right as he’s starting to leave, his eye catches on the trashcan.
They don’t talk about it. They don’t bring up the present that Megumi had left for Nobara. No one mentions her throwing it away. Yuuji doesn’t ask her what she did with it, and she doesn’t tell him. He figured that was that. If that’s the narrative she wants to create, for whatever reason, he’ll let her.
But the trashcan was empty when he looked inside of it.
November 14, 2026
I have been officially reappointed as a teacher at the school. I don’t know what that means for now, considering all of the positions are filled and we have no new students, but I guess I can expect to be assigned someone eventually. Okkotsu tells me that it might not be for a few years, but it’s probably best that way. I’ve missed teaching. I just don’t want to be the reason someone dies on a mission.
December 22, 2026
Happy birthday, Megumi.
I know that you can’t read this. I know that you probably never will. If somehow you get to read this letter, then I want you to know how much I miss you. I think of you every day. I think about what we used to be. I miss holding you and kissing you and just being able to touch you. When I see you now, it’s like I’m looking at a stranger. I don’t know what to think of it, because you still look like Megumi. You sound like Megumi.
But you’re not my Megumi.
I just wish that I knew how to help you. I don’t know if this is because of what happened with Sora and Hitori. I don’t know if it was because of Hokkaido. None of it is your fault, and I wish that you didn’t feel like you have to blame yourself or punish yourself or curse yourself to accept what happened.
I think about our third and fourth year often. I think about how happy we were. Even if all of the higher ups were on our asses, we still had each other and that meant something to me. I hope that it meant something to you. I wish I could say for certain that it did, but I just can’t figure out why you would still choose to leave me us in the end.
I hope that you come back. I want to be able to save you, but you just won’t let me. Nobara tells me that it’s pointless, but I don’t believe that’s true. I want to do it. I will do it. I saved you before, Megumi. I’ll save you again.
With love,
So much love,
Yuuji
January 1, 2027
Another year has passed, and I still feel like as much of a failure as the last. Missions are hell. Megumi is still MIA, except for on the first of every month. Nobara still tells me that I’m an idiot for going.
Maybe I am an idiot.
“What do you mean I don’t get to have a student until next year?” Yuuji asks, standing over Kusakabe as he sits behind his desk.
His former teacher huffs, letting his toothpick hang loosely from his bottom lip. “It means what I just said. Other students have been directed to Kyoto, and the classes here are taken care of by our current staff.”
“Then what was the point of reinstating me as a teacher?”
“If I have to be honest, kid, it’s probably because the higher ups don’t know what they fucking want right now.”
Yuuji furrows his brows. “What does that mean?”
Kusakabe sighs and leans forward, as if someone might be listening to their conversation. “There have been some big discrepancies in the board recently, and it’s got everyone on edge. Yuuta and I are trying to work through some things, but if we can get our point across, then there might be some permanent changes put in place that could be for the better.”
“What kind of changes?” Yuuji presses, slowly sitting down.
“The kind that keeps us from storming out of meetings,” he answers plainly. “We all know that Gakuganji’s policies are absolute dog shit. They listen to him because he’s, like, a thousand years old and a sorcerer, and they don’t listen to me or Yuuta because we don’t like them.”
“So, how are you going to change that?”
“We’re going to propose that Yuuta gets a representative position as the Gojo clan head. We’re trying to use the clan’s influence to sway them.”
“Do you think something like that will work?”
“I think that these greedy bastards will see the zeroes in the Gojo’s bank account and start to consider it.”
Yuuji nods and considers what Kusakabe is saying. Currently, there is one board member for each country. Most of them are non-sorcerers, and only a few of them have chosen to learn anything about sorcery at all. There are three sorcerers — Gakuganji, Okkotsu, and Kusakabe — and there are about ten selected representatives that are meant to propose, speak for, and delegate any and all board changes, notices, and laws. If Okkotsu can get a position like that…
“Just hold off for now, kid,” Kusakabe says, reaching over the desk to pat Yuuji on the shoulder. “Okay?”
Yuuji nods, still processing. This could be the start of something new. They just have to make it work.
“Okay.”
February 1, 2027
Megumi showed up today with blood on his sleeve. It was a small amount, just a few drops. It could have been mistaken for paint, but I know him better than that. I guess the board will be notified of a fresh kill soon. I don’t even know how to handle it anymore. I just brush it aside like I don’t even see it. Does that make me a bad person?
March 1, 2027
Today, Megumi bought my order. I don’t think he’s ever done that before, but all he said was “happy birthday.” Tengen, I miss him. Every time I open this journal, I’m met with my letter that I wrote. I can’t believe I wrote that. It felt good at the time. I needed something like that to just get everything out. Still kind of sucks to read how sad I am. Nobara always says that I just look sad now.
April 1, 2027
He’s leaving again. Somewhere overseas I think. He won’t tell me anything just that it’s dangerous. I don’t know what he could possibly run into that could be dangerous enough to tell me about it, but I begged him not to go. He just shook his head and said that he had to. Tengen, I wish I could understand him. I have no idea what the fuck he’s doing, but it’s not good.
When Yuuji reaches his seat, he nearly drops his order onto the polished, linoleum floor. Megumi is hunched over the table, a hood pulled over his head, and his breathing is ragged. What catches him off guard, however, are the two, large bruises that cut through his eye and jaw.
They’re both a deep purple, with little veins of red that branch throughout the spot. The edges are starting to turn yellow, a sickly color, and Megumi flinches when Yuuji tries to reach out to him.
“Don’t,” Megumi warns.
There’s also a large cut over the bridge of his nose, deep, but scabbing over. Yuuji tries to force down the strangled cry that escapes from the back of his throat, and he slowly reaches back out once more.
“Please,” he whispers. “I can use RCT. Let me heal you.”
Megumi shakes his head, forcing his eyes shut. He bats Yuuji’s hand away from him. “I can’t let you do that.”
“Why not?”
“I just can’t,” he hisses, snapping. It comes out louder than he means to, and they earn a few glances from the other patrons. Calming himself, Megumi lets out a deep breath. “Just… come with me.”
Yuuji furrows his brows. “Come with you?”
“Walk with me,” Megumi says, looking at him with pleading eyes. “Around the city. Around Tokyo.”
“I don’t get it, why?” he asks.
Megumi presses his lips together, and it’s almost like he’s trying not to cry. He almost looks… scared. Sitting there — broken, beaten, healing from whatever attacked it — he looks at Yuuji, and he looks terrified. It’s like he doesn’t know what to do or where to go. He doesn’t want to let Yuuji heal him, but he wants to be near him. Fuck, how is he supposed to say no to that?
“Please,” Megumi whispers. “Can we just pretend that things are okay again?”
Yuuji’s mouth dries. It’s like sand on his tongue. All of the water’s been drained of him. He’s cracked, dry, empty. What Megumi’s asking of him, can he do that?
“I don’t—” he swallows. “I mean— what do you mean?”
“Just for today?” Megumi begs, his voice cracking. “Let’s just pretend we’re out in the city, on a day off from our jobs.”
In the depths of Yuuji’s chest, he can feel his heart thudding against his ribs as his lungs tighten with every breath. Greed grows inside of him like a vine, wrapping around his organs, squeezing until they stop and he drops dead.
This is going to be what kills him.
“You mean—”
He can’t even get the fucking question out. Tears are already starting to form, and his voice betrays him.
Still, Megumi knows what he’s asking. He’s always been able to get into his head like that. “Just for today. Just for one hour. Let’s just… let’s just pretend.”
And Yuuji’s a lot more selfish than he’ll ever give himself credit for, because he’s nodding before he’s saying anything else. Megumi nods, too, and they both stand from the table. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Yuuji knows that this is a bad idea. This will only hurt him.
Yet he goes through with it anyway. He lets Megumi lead him through the city, going to different shops, pointing out things that Nobara might like. He lets Megumi pay for their food, smiling with him, laughing with him. Tengen, he’s missed that fucking smile.
Megumi doesn’t let him get too close. They might be pretending that this is what they used to be, but it’s not the full thing. Megumi doesn’t let him hold his hand, doesn’t let him sit too close, doesn’t let him steal a kiss. There’s a barrier there — a hard, set boundary — and Yuuji adheres to it, because he’ll take whatever he can get.
With every stop and every shared smile, Yuuji’s heart breaks more. It fractures and cracks and splits and splinters. He doesn’t care though. There’s an aching, throbbing pain where his heart should be, but he tucks it away in the back of his mind for the sake of his greed.
He’s not sure why Megumi is giving him this. Whatever happened to him between now and April, it must have scared him. It might have almost killed him. Either way, he’s here, asking for something like the spring of their second year, and what else is Yuuji supposed to do other than give it to him?
And when their hour is up and Megumi ultimately leaves Yuuji behind, left staring at his limping frame as he walks away from him and disappears into a sea of people, what else is Yuuji supposed to do other than finally let it all out?
The day catches up to him, and he crumples where he stands, not caring who stares or whispers at the sight of a grown man crying. Yuuji lets the tears spill out of him as his body shakes with quiet sobs, and his breathing becomes erratic and uneven. It was such a perfect day. It was like any other day, really. It could have been like all of those days that they used to have, and that’s what sucked the most about it.
Because Yuuji misses it.
He craves it. This is what he’s been missing and wanting and longing for, and he’s just got it, and he’ll likely never get it again. Megumi gave him such a wonderful hour in the city, and he allowed himself to smile through the pain, because he wanted this, too.
And now it’s over. The clock strikes midnight. The spell is gone.
And Yuuji is still left alone.
Notes:
hello, and welcome back to another chapter of this fic! i've been excited to pick this one back up again, and she was next on the rotation. i'm even MORE excited now, because this means That chapter is happening next.
oh, yeah. that chapter. it's exactly what you think it is.
i don't have much to note this time around. there are a lot of hints and easter eggs, but most of them are spoilers!! oops! i can't wait to see how much you might pick up on, but for now, you'll just have to wait for the next chapter and see where the pieces all fall together.
thank you all very much for reading, and i hope that you enjoyed it! i can't wait to get into this next chapter, but dude... it's going to be a BEAST. we'll see how many words that one ends up being.
Chapter 6: Hokkaido
Notes:
the thing that haunts them all.
!!this an extremely heavy chapter that contains both gore/violence and implied/referenced suicide!! please see the drop down below to know when to skip, as these are triggering topics:
TW
to skip graphic descriptions of violence, please make sure that you stop reading at Fuck, it’s awful. and pick back up at The shock enters his body, adrenaline pumping through his veins, as he stares and weakly asks, “Megumi…?”.
to skip implied/referenced suicide, while vague, please make sure that you stop reading at Everything has just been one big dogpile, intent on bringing Megumi down until he can only accept it and give up. and pick back up at A torn page from a notebook..
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
[October 1st, 2020]
Notice from Jujutsu Headquarters:
1) Fushiguro Megumi has tamed Round Deer and is now promoted to Special Grade status. We acknowledge his possession of the Great Merger but note his loyalty to Jujutsu Tech. He will be monitored, and any displays of non-compliance will be addressed accordingly.
2) Itadori Yuuji is now promoted to Special Grade status. We acknowledge his possession and command over two techniques, a complete domain, and Reverse Cursed Technique.
3) Students under mentorship will shadow missions at the discretion of the student. It is strongly encouraged that students accompany their mentors on missions.
4) All Special Grade sorcerers are now required to take missions assigned to them. We hereby declare any denial of a mission to be a crime. The likes of Tsukumo Yuki will not be tolerated any more.
Two gods stand alone in the middle of a quiet dorm. Distantly, the closing of a single door echoes throughout the halls, floating far away from the school and into the air of the mountains that surround it. The sound fades, and there is no turning back, there is no asking for forgiveness, and there is no explanation given.
There is quiet.
There is only quiet.
One of the gods will curse and turn away from the door, searching for every solution to the problem presented to it. Equations and theories and thoughts will swarm its mind and consume it from the inside out. Panic rises as it realizes that its hands are tied, and it dawns on them both that they have been played like a fool. There is no conclusion — not a real one. There is only the hope that it can be strong enough.
The other god will stand there. Sill and unmoving. The realization of what’s to come slowly sinks in and settles its way into its heart. It should say something. It should do something. There’s a voice telling it to do something!, but nothing will happen. Maybe it would be best if it follows, but all it will do is stare at the door as two lambs walk away, and it will have no say in what may happen. It can only watch. No intervention. Nature must take its course.
But nature is run by wolves. Dogs that have no idea what it’s like to be a god will make the call and decide when a lamb should die. Then they’ll find another to take its place. And another one. And another one.
Over and over and over again.
The lambs have no idea. They follow each other to their deaths and leave the gods behind. Their naivety tells them that this is how it must be. This is only natural. The lambs believe that if they are strong enough, they can become a god, too. That’s the cycle, is it not?
Two goals are born at the same time:
Become a god.
Protect the lambs.
And so, they train together. Lambs are trying to be gods. Gods are mourning when they were once lambs. The fights are brutal, the lambs are stubborn, and the days have shifted into something darker. As winter approaches, it creeps up on them. The temperatures slowly drop, and the air starts to turn sharp. It tightens their joints and freezes their muscles, but the lambs insist — more, more, more.
The seasons change, the days pass, and that’s when it happens. Promotion. One step closer to being a god.
It is final, the wolves say. Money and time and investment have been put into this pair.
But they’re still just kids, the god argues. They can’t do what we did. Not in that time. Not without someone getting killed.
But the gods have set a dangerous precedent. Their growth has shown the wolves that a god can be created, and they pay no mind to the expiration date that floats over the lambs in blurry, moving numbers.
This decision has damned them.
The lambs don’t want to sleep, because gods don’t sleep. Work and train and class, repeat. Work and train and class, repeat. Only the gods have concern. Only the gods can see their time running out. They’re the only ones who know the truth:
Gods are not just created; they are forced by tragedy and loss.
They may be strong, but they don’t start out strong. In this world, they have to be strong. No one can be a lamb and survive. Not here. Not now.
That’s why Gojo Satoru was a god. That’s why Geto Suguru was a god. That’s why Itadori Yuuji is a god. That’s why Fushiguro Megumi is a god.
In this world, it’s just a given. Lambs will die. All lambs die.
They either die as a lamb, or they come back as a god.
Hokkaido Mission Report
Date: December 8, 2021
Location: Biei, Hokkaido, Japan
MISSION SUMMARY
2021-11-17
In the east part of Biei, Hokkaido, Japan (Biei), direct west of Mount Tomuraushi, potential curse activity resulting in civilian disappearances was reported to Jujutsu Headquarters (“Board”). Three managers were sent to investigate the area and log possible abnormalities to determine the nature of the curse. Their reports were to be used by the Board to assess the Grade and send the appropriate sorcerer for response and confirmation of any and all civilian deaths.
Manager(s) dispatched: ████████ ██, ████ ██████, and ███ ████
Note: All communication with ████████ ██ and ███ ████ ceased; only ████ ██████ returned. Deaths confirmed.
Curse Grade ranking: 2
Mission status: Open
2021-11-29
One Grade 1 sorcerer was sent to Biei on the Board’s order with specific instructions to locate and exorcise the curse and to confirm civilian and manager deaths. Previous manager reports and details of the case were communicated prior to dispatch, and the Board was to be notified of the mission’s completion immediately upon exorcism.
Sorcerer(s) dispatched: ██████ ████
Note: All communication with ██████ ████ ceased; manager returned. No deaths confirmed.
Curse Grade ranking: Unknown
Mission status: Open
2021-12-07
Due to unavailable sorcerer resources, the Board voted to send two third-year students to Biei in order to exorcise the curse. Note that only board members Okkotsu Yuuta, ███ ██, and Kusakabe Atsuya voted against the motion. Both students, Semi-Grade 1, were sent on assessment to determine possible promotion. Specific instructions of the mission were to locate and report ████ ██████’s status to the board and to dispel the curse—with or without ████ ██████’s assistance. Assignment also included reporting the confirmation of civilian and manager deaths due to curse activity.
REVISION: After grievance from Special Grade sorcerers Itadori Yuuji and Fushiguro Megumi, the Board voted to send both mentors along with the students.
Sorcerer(s) dispatched: Oikado Sora and Oikado Hitori; Itadori Yuuji (standby) and Fushiguro Megumi (standby)
Note: Itadori Yuuji and Fushiguro Megumi are not to help sorcerers Oikado Sora and Oikado Hitori. Specific instructions were given to prevent the interference of assessment unless deemed appropriate.
Curse Grade ranking: Unknown
Mission status: Open
“We don’t need you guys to babysit us; we can do it on our own!” Hitori lashes out, storming towards his bed. It’s so strange to see him like this — a spitball of fire and anger. He’s not the same fifteen-year-old kid he used to be, and, well, that kid’s probably long gone now.
“A Grade 1 sorcerer has gone missing on this mission, Hitori,” Yuuji says, his voice steady. It’s a mask. He’s attempting to sound calm, but irritation and frustration float close beneath his tone. “That doesn’t just happen, and if the board thinks you and Sora can handle—”
“So, you think we’re not strong?” Hitori challenges.
“That’s not what I fucking said,” Yuuji groans. Turning to Megumi, he gestures to his student. “Can you get through to him?”
Megumi lets out a small, dry scoff and raises his shoulders. “You think I haven’t tried, Yuuji?” He lets them drop.
“Fushiguro-san, we can handle this,” Hitori insists, walking over to him. His eyes are widened and wild, and desperation leaks from his voice. “Sora and I. We’re ready.”
“Hitori, the board doesn’t know the first thing about sorcery,” Megumi argues. His student groans. “I don’t trust their first assessment that this is a Grade 2 curse, and I definitely don’t trust the ‘unknown’ label that it has, currently.”
“But we’re both a Semi-Grade 1 now!” Hitori is practically whining at him, his brows pinched and lips curled. “We’re catching up to you!”
“There is no ‘catching up,’ Hitori.” he warns. “If I have to be honest, I still think you and Sora are closer to a Grade 2.”
Hitori groans again and shoves a couple of more clothing items into his overnight bag.
Megumi stands next to Yuuji in the doorway of Hitori’s room, both of them watching as their underclassman continues to prepare for the mission. Sora’s ready, having sent a text that she’ll be waiting for them in the main building. Megumi and Yuuji are ready, too. They keep an overnight bag packed at all times, and as soon as they learned of this mission, they grabbed their things and told the board to either deal with it or shove it.
Of course, there was a bit of pushback. The board was insistent that, with the help of a Grade 1 sorcerer, Hitori and Sora would be able to complete the mission with no issue. What they fail to realize is that whoever they sent to Hokkaido is probably dead, considering they’ve been without contact for a week. The idea of sending two students into a mission like this, even under the guise of an “assessment,” is laughable. Megumi was fuming when he heard about it, and he’s pretty sure Yuuji didn’t stop yelling until Okkotsu and Kusakabe proposed a solution:
Megumi and Yuuji will accompany Hitori and Sora on their mission, but they are not meant to intervene.
That’s what a lot of Megumi’s duties have been as a mentor lately. Not intervening. He wasn’t allowed to intervene when the board offhandedly decided to make Hitori and Sora Grade 2 sorcerers without notice, and they weren’t allowed to intervene when the underclassmen decided to follow them on missions.
There were so many missions that could have gone so wrong. Too many close calls. Megumi and Yuuji have twisted themselves into knots just to make sure that Hitori and Sora don’t get hurt, but they set a hard line that the two of them could only accompany them on Grade 1 missions or lower. Special Grades were off limits. Hitori and Sora had complained a bit, but Megumi’s pretty sure he could see relief in Sora’s eyes when he and Yuuji told them their one rule.
Now, the board has gone behind their backs. Again. They’ve decided that Hitori and Sora are strong enough to be Semi-Grade 1 sorcerers, and no one listened when Megumi and Yuuji tried to insist that it was too soon. They listened even less when Megumi had gone to them privately, trying to come up with any other solution than what was happening. He promised to train more, to take more missions, to go through another subjugation ritual, anything. No one was having it. They’d rather watch two young, naïve kids kill themselves slowly than listen to Megumi or Yuuji or Okkotsu or anyone.
This mission is a death sentence. Megumi has a bad feeling about it, and the information provided in the mission summary only supports his unease. The report right now is vague. Too vague. Hitori and Sora were only notified of the assignment a few hours ago, and they were given instructions to pack an overnight bag and leave at once. Megumi’s sure that he and Yuuji weren’t meant to find out about it until after they left, but Okkotsu had texted them, and there was no way they were going to let these kids go on a mission like this by themselves.
Though Yuuji and Megumi might have gotten their way with the board, that doesn’t mean they’re on good terms with Hitori and Sora over it. Hitori, namely, is upset. He’s sixteen and thinks he knows everything there is to know about sorcery and fighting. He’s grown strong over the years, but he still doesn’t understand. His missions go well because Megumi and Yuuji select them. The board tries to give him assignments past his skills, and they either take them themselves or argue back about it.
He supposes this is their punishment for that. The higher ups don’t like being strong-armed, and for the past two years, Megumi and Yuuji have gotten away with it just by being powerful. Still, it’s for everyone’s own good. Okkotsu tries to help when he can, but it’s hard, even for him, and he has the fucking Queen of Curses.
This mission is set. Whether Megumi wants it to be or not.
At least you’ll be there.
Even with the argument of “no intervention,” Megumi and Yuuji both feel better going. They’re going to try to make sure they don’t overstep, but there’s a silent agreement between them that if things start to go sideways, they’re fighting — no matter what their students say.
Megumi sighs and checks the time. He, Yuuji, and the third-years are set to leave in twenty minutes. It’ll be a little over four hours to the Shin-Hakodate-Hokuto station, then they need to take another line to finally make it to Sapporo — another four hours. From there, they’ll stay in a hotel overnight and meet with a manager to take them to Biei in the morning.
It’s so standard that it makes Megumi’s stomach churn. This should be like every other mission, and yet...
As soon as they return from this mission, Megumi is unleashing hell on this fucking board. He doesn’t care who he pisses off or what nation he threatens. They need to see what a Special Grade is capable of, and they need to understand that just because Hitori and Sora are powerful, they’re not even close to the other Grade 1 sorcerers.
His fists tighten at his sides, and he steals a glance at Yuuji.
Arms crossed, hair pushed back, brows furrowed. He’s in work mode, but his brown eyes are the same soft, caramel color as they always are. The look he gives Hitori lacks frustration, and it’s just filled with concern.
Tenderness in his gaze; Yuuji’s always been so much kinder than Megumi.
When Hitori finishes packing, he stands before Megumi and Yuuji, looking up at him. He looks so old but at the same time, so young.
“Are you ready to go?” Yuuji asks. His tone is softer than it was before. How he manages to school his frustration is something that Megumi will never be able to understand. Yuuji may be the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, but he’s better at being better than Megumi ever could.
“Yeah,” Hitori mumbles, looking down at the ground.
“Listen, Hitori…” Yuuji places a firm hand on his shoulder, squeezing it for reassurance. “We want you to be strong. Megumi wants you to be strong. We just also want you to be safe, too. You see how dangerous curses can be, so you and Sora just need to be careful, okay?”
Hitori nods, still staring at the floor. “We just want to show you that we’re strong.”
“You are strong, Hitori,” Megumi says, stepping forward. “You’ll continue to get stronger, but you need to realize that you can’t force it. You and your sister need to take care of each other.”
“And we’re only going to shadow you,” Yuuji assures. “It’s like we’ve switched places. We’ll only step in if it starts looking too bad.”
“It won’t,” Hitori insists, a little too fast. His head shoots up, and he looks back and forth between Megumi and Yuuji. “We’ll show you we can handle it.”
A brief glance sideways; Yuuji’s and Megumi’s eyes meet.
“We trust you,” Yuuji says.
“It’s the board that we don’t,” Megumi finishes.
Hitori sighs, filled with resignation. He has to realize that this isn’t some ploy to stunt his growth. He has to. “Do you think that we’ll be okay?”
He’s looking at Megumi. His mentor. Reassurance, hope, promise — Hitori looks for it all in Megumi’s eyes, but Megumi still can’t help but falter. Will they be okay? It’s hard to say. The reports aren’t looking too good, and a proper assessment still hasn’t been conducted. After that Grade 1 went missing, a Special Grade should have been sent, but the board carried on like it was no big deal. They decided to send two students instead.
It feels dangerously familiar. This isn’t something that students should be handling, yet the higher ups have a second agenda — a second message to send, and they’re doing it through Hitori and Sora.
But this message is for Megumi and Yuuji
You can’t control us.
Well. The board can’t control them either.
“Yuuji and I will be right there,” Megumi says. It’s not exactly a yes, but it’s the closest he’s got. It’s hard to promise anything anymore when it comes to the higher ups and their mission assignments. But Megumi isn’t lying when he assures Hitori, “We’ll do everything we can to protect you.”
Hitori nods.
The three of them make their way to the main building to meet up with Sora. She’s standing in front of the door, scrolling on her phone when they reach her. There’s a duffel bag slung over her shoulder, and her hair is pulled back into a ponytail. When she sees them approaching, she offers a small smile.
“I was looking at places to eat near the hotel, and there are tons of options,” she says, holding her phone up. Distantly, Megumi can see a map pulled up with a ton of little red pins, indicating what he assumes are restaurants.
Hitori runs up to her to check it out for himself, and Megumi and Yuuji stop just before them. The two third-years talk about what kind of food they’re in the mood for, looking at local places and crossing out any sort of fine dining establishment. There’s light bickering, and at one point, Sora pinches her brother when he makes a comment about her being bossy, earning a yelp and a harsh glare.
It’s nice to see them like this. More like teenagers and less like sorcerers. They’re a year below Megumi and Yuuji, and yet the gap between them feels so large, but these are the few moments where it feels right again. It feels like Hitori’s and Sora’s first year again. There’s no push to be greater, pressure isn’t falling on everyone’s shoulders, and the four of them can just be a group of teenagers, planning an evening in Sapporo.
It's also nice to know that Sora is raising Hitori’s spirits. He’s not scowling like he has been for the past hour, and he’s actually smiling as the pair continue to look through the maps on their phones. Hitori is talking about visiting all of these different places, and Sora only tells him that they can’t do everything this evening; they’ll have to wait until after they complete the mission, and then the four of them can explore the city.
The four of them.
Megumi almost expects some sort of snide remark from Hitori, but he only nods and continues to look at his phone, and Sora looks up at Megumi and Yuuji and smiles softly.
The thing with Sora is that she was never really mad about their mission being hijacked. From what Yuuji had told Megumi, it seemed like she was more upset about her brother being upset. She’s always been a bit more of a realist than Hitori, and her growth — for the most part — developed naturally and steadily. At least, it did, when the board wasn’t trying to turn her into what they wanted her to be.
Her fatal flaw is that she’s a sister.
Sora once confessed to Yuuji that she didn’t want to shadow missions, but she’s always trying to make sure that Hitori is safe. She’s the older sister, and she’s always ready to step forward and protect her brother, but Megumi’s worried that it’s taking her down the wrong path.
Yuuji worries, too. The problem with Sora is that no matter how much she may try to convince Hitori to slow down, she will always — inevitably — follow him anyway. That’s why she shadows their missions. That’s why she trains twice as hard. That’s why she only silently nodded when Megumi and Yuuji broke the news that they were coming along today.
“Hey, what do you guys think?” Sora asks, peering over her brother’s shoulder to look at Megumi and Yuuji. “Do you all want to eat when we get to Sapporo?”
“You don’t even have to ask. I’m down,” Yuuji says with a shrug. “I’m going to be starving by the time we get there.” He turns to Megumi with a lazy smile. “What about you?”
“The school’s given us money for food to pack and take with us on the train, idiot,” Megumi teases, shoving him. Yuuji only chuckles and readjusts the bag on his shoulder. “It’s going to take us around eight hours to get to Sapporo. That’ll put us at the hotel around nine. Maybe later.”
“Okay, but what about after we get settled?” Sora asks, looking at him with pleading eyes.
Hitori turns around and silently pleads with her.
Then Yuuji joins in, too.
Megumi sighs, shaking his head. “Fine.”
Hitori and Sora cheer while Yuuji pumps his fists and hisses, “Yes!”
“But,” Megumi continues, causing Yuuji to groan.
“There’s always a ‘but’ with you,” he pouts, crossing his arms.
“Shut up,” Megumi says. “I was just going to say that we’re meeting the manager at eight tomorrow morning, so we can’t be out late tonight.”
Hitori and Sora both nod, and Megumi turns to look at Yuuji, who raises his hands in mock surrender. “Hey, I get it. We’ll be responsible.”
Megumi only hums in reply.
“Who’s the manager meeting us there?” Sora asks, stepping forward.
“Ijichi is taking us to the station, and then he’ll be meeting us in Sapporo tomorrow,” Yuuji answers. “It’ll take about two hours to get to Biei from there.”
Everyone nods.
“Are you all ready to go?” Megumi asks the third-years.
They both nod, eager for the mission. Determination is hard-set in their eyes, and their demeanor shifts as it dawns on them that this is their first big mission. Hitori and Sora, they both want to prove themselves. To Megumi. To Yuuji. To the higher ups. They’re no strangers to what happened only three years ago with Shibuya and Shinjuku, and they want to be a part of the change that prevents those kinds of things.
But they can’t rush it.
The ride to the train station is quiet. Ijichi plays music softly from the car radio, but there’s no chatter. A pit forms in Megumi’s stomach, and he steals a glance at Yuuji in the backseat. He’s got his chin in hand, leaning against the car door as he stares out the window. Megumi doesn’t even have to wonder what’s going on in his mind. He already knows. This mission can’t be good. Something tells him that it’s not going to end well, and that dark, creeping suspicion that someone’s life is on the line won’t shake itself, but he tries to remember that he and Yuuji will be there, too. They’ll keep Hitori and Sora safe. They have to keep them safe.
Not much is known about curses in Hokkaido. It’s supposed to be sacred land, and yet…
Anticipation bubbles with every passing minute, and the only sounds in the car are Hitori and Sora occasionally whispering to one another about Sapporo. They don’t go over the mission details. Not like they should. Though it’s not like there’s much to go off of. Megumi stares at the tablet in his lap.
Updates from November are there, but there’s little to no information. The curse’s grade is currently unknown, and to Megumi, that makes it a Special Grade. If a Grade 1 sorcerer was taken out, it has to be a Special Grade. His fists tighten as he reads over the reports, line by line. He reads every word, stares at the kanji until it starts to look unfamiliar, and he tries to count the number of spaces under each blackout.
Whose blood was shed this time? Whose lives were lost? Only the higher ups get to know this information, and Okkotsu won’t say anything. When Hitori and Sora fill out the rest of this report, their names will eventually be blocked, too. Just another figure. Nameless to the board.
By the time Ijichi is dropping them off at the station, it feels like centuries have passed. At the same time, it’s as though the car ride went by in a matter of seconds. Megumi tries to compartmentalize his anxiety — the growing knot in his stomach as they get closer and closer to their destination.
Hitori and Sora stretch as they step out of the car, excited to go somewhere beyond Tokyo and the surrounding area. As Ijichi moves to retrieve their bags from the trunk, Yuuji quickly makes his way to join Megumi at the passenger door, and the two of them share a look.
“I saw you thinking in the car,” Megumi says, his voice low. “What do you make of this?”
“I keep thinking that something bad is about to happen on this mission,” Yuuji replies in a whisper. He looks over at the two third-years and purses his lips. “I mean, we’ve never had missions in Hokkaido.”
Megumi shakes his head. “We’re not supposed to. It’s a hallowed area. That’s why it wasn’t included in the Culling Games. I’ve never heard of curses being anywhere near that part of Japan.”
Yuuji nods and swallows.
“I think we’re supposed to board soon,” Sora says, pointing behind her towards the station. “Should we go ahead and get some food?”
Megumi exhales through his nose and stares past her, looking at crowds of people as they continue their day. Mundane. Normal. Nobody is walking to their deaths. There’s no looming threat that consumes their minds. These are people who lived through Shibuya and Shinjuku, and then they got to heal. They got to get better. Now, they’ve moved past it, while Megumi and Yuuji stand right where they were three years ago — in the hands of people who don’t care if they live or die.
There’s more that he wants to say. He and Yuuji have got to figure out exactly what role they plan to play once they reach Biei, and if that means stepping in — even if Hitori and Sora don’t want them to — then so be it. Ideally, he’d like to turn the third-years around right now, go to Hokkaido himself, then tell the higher ups to shove it. This mission isn’t right for them, but no one in power seems to care, so realistically, he just has to be prepared.
What’s going to happen tomorrow? When the sun goes down and they step foot in Hokkaido, whose blood is going to stain the sacred ground?
“Yeah,” he sighs, stepping back. “Let’s go.”
He and Yuuji share one more glance before they get their bags and begin walking. They let Hitori and Sora lead them through the station, selecting boxed meals and drinks to hold them over for the next eight hours. It’s going to be a brutal ride. Yuuji doesn’t like to sit still for too long, and Megumi is too anxious to try and relax. He’s brought a book to read, but his mind is far from where he stands.
No, it’s already in Hokkaido, running through every possible scenario, every problem, every threat that could hurt them on this mission. Even after boarding, as Hitori and Sora go through their purchases and portion everything out, Megumi’s hands twitch. He needs to move. He needs to be ready. They won’t even reach Biei until tomorrow, but he just feels so underprepared.
Why?
Why is there a curse in Hokkaido? What caused it? Just how powerful is it? It has to be, if it’s in Hokkaido, but there are too many unknowns. The location of the mission itself should’ve raised flags within the higher ups. Okkotsu even said that Gakuganji was surprised, and yet he still green lit the mission for Hitori and Sora.
Why are they doing this?
Megumi sighs and turns on the school’s tablet.
Hokkaido Mission Report.
He’s read this into the ground. The entire report is practically memorized. There’s no new information, and there won’t be until they complete this mission, but Megumi reads it anyway. The word unknown stares back at him, taunting him, threatening him. They’re barely an hour into this ride, but he can’t keep his pulse from racing.
Unknown.
“Hey.” Yuuji nudges him, causing him to look up. Nodding towards the tablet, he says, “I saw you reading this in the car, too. I don’t think we’re going to get anything else from it.”
Megumi presses his lips together and turns the screen off, twisting around a bit to steal a glance behind them. Hitori and Sora are both watching something on Sora’s phone — headphones in, oblivious to the world — and they pay no mind to the conversation they’re having.
“Yeah,” he sighs, turning back around. “I know. I just don’t have a good feeling about this. I want to be prepared.”
Yuuji reaches over, taking his hand. “I think we’re about as prepared for this mission as we can be, love.”
The gentleness in his words, the steady, low cadence of his voice, and the casual way he called Megumi “love” gets tangled in his mind. It replays over and over again — just that one word. Love.
Megumi swallows, turning away, feeling his face heat up as a blush spreads across the back of his neck and up to the tips of his ears.
“Shut up,” he says.
“What?” Yuuji asks innocently, smiling like he doesn’t understand. “Do you not like it?”
The heat in Megumi’s face flares more, and he turns even further away. “You know that’s not it.”
It causes Yuuji’s smile to widen, and he leans in more, teasingly asking, “Is it not okay then?”
Megumi furrows his brows and pushes the heel of his palm into his forehead, shoving Yuuji off and earning a startled yelp out of him.
“You know that’s not it either,” he replies, ignoring the chuckling and the sly grin on Yuuji’s face.
“Hey,” Yuuji says, nudging his arm. Megumi turns to look at him. “I love you.”
And even though his face is still flushing, he replies, “I love you, too.”
Yuuji’s smile shifts. No longer teasing, it brightens. There’s a soft look in his eyes, and as the light flashes through the window, they go from a warm chocolate to a burning ember. The way that he’s looking at Megumi, it’s like he can’t stand to look anywhere else. That smile is dangerous. Genuine. Beautiful. Despite the stress they’ve been under, it still manages to send a wave of comfort and warmth throughout Megumi’s mind.
“I know you’re just going to think yourself in circles until we get there, but trust me, Megumi,” Yuuji says. “It’s best if we get some rest now.”
Megumi stares at him, at the loving look in his eyes. There’s a small hint of desperation beneath it, like he just can’t help but worry. It’s at least fair. Megumi would rather work three times as hard than risk the safety of Hitori and Sora. He would allow himself to fall short, if that meant that their underclassmen got to develop their technique in a safer, more controlled way.
So, even if he might not want to admit it, Yuuji’s right.
Megumi sighs out a small huff and nods. “Yeah. Okay.”
Yuuji moves a bit closer to him, silent as he takes the tablet from Megumi’s hand and places it in the bag at his feet. He then sits back up, smiling as he says, “There,” and settles against Megumi.
He’s warm. Even in December air, Yuuji still manages to run hot, and all Megumi can think is that it’s nice. They relax into their seats as Yuuji scrolls through his phone, showing his screen to Megumi. They let the silence fill their time, as Megumi tries to read to keep his mind from the mission and Yuuji watches different videos on his phone with his headphones in.
Time continues to pass, and he gets further into the book than he intended to. At some point, Yuuji starts to snack on the food that they brought, and Hitori and Sora have fallen asleep. There’s a soft rumbling sound as the train moves, and Megumi decides to watch the world pass by, leaning his head against the train window.
He does his best not to worry about the mission. Yuuji is right. There’s no point in stressing over it when they’ve done all they can to prepare. Instead, he counts the buildings that fly past — blurry, moving figures. As the train continues to pass cities, Megumi distantly catches groups of people walking around — shopping, leaving work, exploring markets. It may be cold out, but it still looks like a beautiful day. They’re approaching midafternoon, and the sun is still high in the sky, with white, fluffy clouds rolling over it.
Everything seems so normal. It’s so alive again. It was hard at first, just after Megumi had woken back up. Japan was in a state of emergency, and the devastation around them extended throughout the entire country. Everything was so chaotic then. He could walk through the city and see chunks of buildings missing or being rebuilt. Even now, three years later, there are still blocks completely level, and large, open sites are lined with fences and tape to keep people out.
Still, it’s better than it was. A step in the right direction. It feels like people are starting to settle again, enough time has passed for the wounds to begin to heal, and things don’t seem so ugly anymore. Megumi supposes that’s true, though the board still likes to make it difficult when they can, but he and Yuuji have each other, and that counts for quite a lot.
“Hitori,” he hears Sora say softly behind him. Megumi continues to stare out the window. “I’m going to try to call mom and dad. Do you want to say hi?”
“What’s the point?” Hitori grumbles. “It’s not like they’re going to pick up anyway.”
That catches Megumi’s attention, and he finds himself holding his breath as Sora only sighs. It’s quiet for a moment. No one says anything, and Megumi doesn’t understand why until he hears Sora drop her arm into her lap, exhaling sharply.
“Voicemail again?”
Hitori’s voice is much softer than before. He sounds a lot younger as he asks his sister for confirmation, and Megumi believes the silence is her answer. His jaw tightens as he keeps his gaze set out the window.
Sora doesn’t say anything else.
They never really mention their parents. Megumi knows that they have parents, and he knows that they were the one who contacted the school about Hitori and Sora being sorcerers, but…
He’s never met them.
He’s never heard anything about them, he’s never seen them, he doesn’t even know their names. Hitori and Sora stay at the school full-time, though they’re more than welcome to go home on weekends and during breaks. Megumi never really asked, figuring it was a decision made mutually, but what if it wasn’t?
It was just over a year ago when Hitori and Sora were promoted to Grade 2. Megumi and Yuuji were already on edge from the promotion to Special Grade and the new rule that prevented them from denying missions, and then Hitori and Sora had told them that they were being promoted, too. There was a fight, and Hitori had yelled at them. At Megumi.
We’re not your responsibility and, you’re not our parents!
Megumi never thought of himself as that to the third-years. He knows that he’s just their mentor. Their upperclassman. A friend, maybe. An older brother at best. He cares for them, and he wants them to be safe, but his and Yuuji’s relationship with them isn’t like that.
But it was Hitori who had accused them of it.
You’re not our parents.
Is that what he thought of Megumi and Yuuji? Distantly? Vaguely? Was the idea of them being something like Sora and Hitori’s parents better than the real thing?
Megumi doesn’t want to pry. It’s not his business, but Sora’s silence and the soft, saddened tone of Hitori’s voice makes him swallow. If their parents sent them off to Jujutsu Tech just to forget about them, then no wonder they want to be strong. They want to be notable. Memorable.
But this isn’t the way to get it.
Outside, the train slows. They’ve reached the Shin-Hakodate-Hokuto station, which means they’re now officially in Hokkaido. Megumi reaches for his bag while Yuuji yawns, his eyes squeezing shut, and as people begin to stand and stretch, it dawns on them that they’re halfway there.
They share a look.
Something feels different here.
Megumi can’t quite place it, but the energy is… off. He can still feel his cursed energy, but beneath it, all around him, there’s something else. Something that he can’t place.
“I don’t know if I like this,” Yuuji whispers, turning to look at Hitori and Sora.
They’re talking to one another, placing things in their bags and pointing out the window of the train at different shops.
“I don’t,” Megumi says definitively as he steps out into the station.
The process to transfer lines is simple and quick. Megumi, Yuuji, and the third-years stop to buy some more snacks before boarding the Hokodate. They’re one step closer to Sapporo, and it leaves Megumi feeling uneasy. He doesn’t feel the same that he does in Tokyo. It didn’t hit him until the train stopped moving, but now that everything has settled and he’s here — in Hokkaido — he can’t help but notice that something is very wrong.
Though “wrong” isn’t really the right term. It’s just old. Ancient. Something about Hokkaido feels a lot more spiritual than the rest of Japan, and Megumi doesn’t like that. It means that whatever it is that they’re about to face, it could be more powerful than any other mission he and Yuuji have had before.
Still, they take their seats, feeling the air thicken in their throats as they continue to make their way towards this mission. Hitori and Sora are oblivious to it all. They don’t notice the shift in the air, the slight humming of energy all around them. It’s so subtle that only someone really skilled with really refined techniques would be able to sense it. Gojo would probably be able to pinpoint exactly what it is — this feeling that won’t go away.
As if everything around them is alive.
This is completely new territory. There’s no precedent set for curses in Hokkaido. There’s not even supposed to be any curses in Hokkaido. What this might mean going forward is terrifying.
Yuuji isn’t on his phone anymore. He sits, staring ahead at nothing in particular, and he’s completely silent. The movement of the train jostles him, but he seems unphased, and all he does is grip his bag tighter. Then there’s Hitori and Sora. They’ve settled into their seats and are watching a movie together. It’s strange to think how young they seem. Part of it comes from their inexperience with sorcery, but Megumi often forgets that they’re just a year below him.
Or maybe he’s the one who forgets that he’s only a year above them. Maybe it’s Megumi not realizing how old he really is. Or rather, young. Only eighteen. Soon to be nineteen. Megumi isn’t even in his twenties, yet he feels so much older than he is.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This is something that Gojo never wanted for him. For anyone. The world was never meant to fall on his or Yuuji’s or Okkotsu’s shoulders, but it somehow did. It became their responsibility to try and restore the system, while the higher ups sat on their asses, behind their darkened screens, ordering them around and telling them what to do. What they needed from them.
Is this what Gojo felt?
Displaced and angry. Used and leashed. These new higher ups, there hasn’t been a single meeting with them that left Megumi feeling anything short of animosity. His hatred for them burns, and it’s gotten to a point where he doesn’t think that he can keep putting up with it. They keep trying to push him and Yuuji. They keep trying to bend their boundaries, seeing just how far they can go, how much they can order them around.
This mission will be their final push.
Okkotsu Yuuta: Just got out of a meeting with the board. Can I call you?
Megumi stares at his phone, reading the message. What is it now?
If it’s something that has to do with the board, he’s usually updated when he returns from a mission. The fact that Okkotsu is asking to call him now is concerning, so it has to be something important. He nudges Yuuji, catching his attention, and shows him the message. Yuuji’s brows furrow as he reads it and checks his phone.
“I didn’t get anything,” Yuuji says. “Is this just for you?”
“I’m not sure,” Megumi replies. “I’ll ask him if I should tell you.”
They wait a moment.
Okkotsu Yuuta: Yeah, he’ll want to know this, too.
Megumi isn’t sure how he feels about that, and they share a look.
“What if it has to do with this mission?” Yuuji asks.
“We would’ve gotten updated through the tablet,” Megumi says, shaking his head. “I’m going to call Okkotsu.”
Yuuji nods and turns to check on Hitori and Sora. “Okay, yeah. They’re still watching a movie.”
Megumi nods back, and they both share a pair of headphones, listening to the high trill as Okkotsu’s number dials. Barely a few seconds go by before the line picks up.
“Megumi, Yuuji,” Okkotsu says. “Hey, how’s the train?”
“It’s fine,” Megumi answers quietly. “We boarded the Hakodate Main Line about an hour ago, so we’re nearly to Sapporo. Just a few hours left.”
“Okay, good. That’s good.”
“Okkotsu, how was the meeting?” Yuuji asks, leaning closer to the phone.
There’s a slight pause, and they both wait for an answer.
“Okay, I don’t want you to get your hopes up,” Okkotsu begins. There’s trepidation in his tone, speaking slowly. Megumi and Yuuji glance at each other, but they wait for him to continue. “A lot of people are starting to speak out more about how things are running. Todo and several of the Kyoto sorcerers came to one of our meetings, and it was a whole thing. A lot of them mentioned your names.”
Megumi furrows his brows. “When was this?”
“Earlier today,” Okkotsu replies. “It was the same meeting where they—” he pauses and sighs. “Where they decided to send Sora and Hitori on the Hokkaido mission.”
Megumi’s grip on his phone tightens, and he nods silently.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Yuuji asks.
Okkotsu sighs again. “I was going to, but you were both so angry about the mission itself that I didn’t get the chance. You were leaving to join them immediately, and I’ve been stuck in meetings the entire day up until now.”
It’s a lot to process. All of this was going on just before Megumi and Yuuji had stormed into that meeting room, and they had no idea. They were so focused on stopping the mission or taking it from Hitori and Sora that they didn’t even question what they were talking about beforehand.
But it’s also monumental. Not only are the Kyoto sorcerers starting to speak out, but they specifically mentioned Megumi and Yuuji by name, essentially taking their side. With these numbers, a rise in people feeling discontent, there’s no way they can be ignored. Right?
Megumi speaks, voice low, “What happened after?”
“After you both left, there was a lot of fuss,” Okkotsu says. “This isn’t something that Kyoto took lightly, and once all of the shouting stopped, it led to a long conversation and some significant changes.”
“What kind of changes?”
“Changes with the board. Internally. Some leaders and representatives switching out and stuff like that.”
Yuuji presses his lips together. “What does that mean?”
“It means that there are some members who have left and others who have replaced them,” Okkotsu answers.
“Is that a good thing?” Megumi asks skeptically, unsure where he could be leading them.
“Sort of,” he says. “These new members seem to be more interested in learning about sorcery. They’ve asked me, Kusakabe, and Gakuganji to give them all a rundown of our system and how it works.”
Megumi blinks.
If that’s true, and there are now more board members who are willing to learn about and understand sorcery, then that is significant. That could change how missions are assigned out, how curses are graded, and how sorcerers are graded. It’s possible that, even with just a basic understanding of how curses and cursed energy work, this could become a whole lot safer.
“When are you doing this?” Yuuji asks. It’s more like a statement of assertion. His way of saying he wants to be in the room when that meeting goes down.
There’s a slight pause. “We’ve… already had it. They were very eager.”
Megumi looks at Yuuji, who swallows and nods, and then back at the phone. “Well, how did it go? What did they say?”
“Guys, seriously, I really don’t want to get your hopes up,” Okkotsu starts. It makes Megumi’s stomach churn, but anticipation burns in his veins as he waits for more. “The board was… unhappy, to say the least. I think the new members are really interested in changing some things around. How we do things now.”
“You mean—” Yuuji can’t even finish the sentence, and Megumi can’t blame him.
They’ve spent years under this board, working under their rules. It’s been a fight for survival ever since Gojo killed the old higher ups, but if they’re open to change now, then that could be it for them. It’s true that change doesn’t just happen, but talks of change...
That’s where it begins.
“The board wants to have a meeting with you,” Okkotsu says. “Both of you. Once the mission is done, they want to talk to the Special Grades, specifically. They want to know what it’s been like mentoring Hitori and Sora, and they want to know more about the grading system and your power.”
Megumi furrows his brows. “What about you? You’re a Special Grade.”
“They’ve already asked for mine and Kusakabe’s opinions, and they’ve questioned me about all of that already. I don’t have the answers they want, because I’m not taking as many missions as I should be,” he replies.
Should be.
Okkotsu doesn’t get assigned as many missions because the board finds the head of the Gojo clan to be more useful alive and “on their side.” Megumi knows that’s not what he wants. If it were up to him, he’d be fighting with Megumi and Yuuji, wiping out as many curses as he can, making sure that people are safe.
“They want to hear from you. Got it?”
“Do you think they’re willing to listen to us?” Megumi presses.
“I think it’s a step in the right direction,” is his answer. “There’s still a long way to go. Kusakabe is trying to play some sort of long game, and I think I might have to be right there with him. Our hands are tied, but with you and Yuuji, it’s different. Make a lot of noise, okay? Raise hell.”
Raise hell.
“We could try to convince them to lay off on the pressure for the new students,” Yuuji says, more to himself than anything. Turning to Megumi, his eyebrows raise, and something burns in his eyes. Something akin to excitement. “We could make it safer for Sora and Hitori.”
Okkotsu hums. “The board hates to go back on their word, but the last thing they want is every sorcerer in Japan working against them. I think they’re going to go into this more open minded than they have been in the past. You just need to make it through this mission.”
One mission.
One more mission.
“We can do that,” Yuuji assures.
“We will,” Megumi agrees.
“I trust you guys. Just be careful,” Okkotsu says. “I wish I knew more about what you’re heading into, but I couldn’t find anything about curses in Hokkaido. I even looked in Gojo-sensei’s archive. This is something that’s never happened before. I don’t think anyone even thought it was possible.”
“As far as I know, it isn’t,” Megumi grumbles.
Okkotsu just sighs. “If the impossible is possible, that’s usually not a good sign. Make sure to take care of each other. It doesn’t matter what the board wants you to do. I don’t have a good feeling about Sora and Hitori leading this mission.”
“Join the club,” Yuuji says dryly. “There’s something different about the energy here. Megumi and I both felt it when we got off the shinkansen.”
“I don’t like the sound of that at all,” Okkotsu huffs. A pause. Kusakabe’s voice is heard vaguely in the background. “Okay, I have to go, but please be careful, guys.”
“We’ll try our best,” Megumi replies. “Thanks for the update.”
“See ya, Okkotsu,” Yuuji chimes in.
Okkotsu hums. “Bye, you two.”
And the call ends.
Megumi stares at the dark screen of his phone as he tries to process everything that he’s been told. The new members within the board, the meetings they’ve had, the meeting they’re going to have — everything swims in his mind, and the prospect of real, actual change stands before him.
Could it really happen?
Okkotsu said he doesn’t want to get their hopes up, and Megumi knows better than to think that this is all it’s going to take, but he can’t sit there and say that he doesn’t feel at least a bit of relief. The idea that the higher ups might actually listen to what Megumi and Yuuji have been trying to say for years is enticing. It’s validating.
“What do you think?” Yuuji asks, nodding toward the phone.
What is there to think? A million possibilities branch from this moment on, and Megumi doesn’t know which one will come true.
“I think…” Megumi trails off, looking over at Hitori and Sora, who are still engrossed in their movie. His eyes linger on them for a moment, and he finishes, “We need to finish this mission.”
The rest of the ride passes in a blur. Megumi and Yuuji spend the remaining hours talking about the board and figuring out what they’re going to say. This meeting will be for them. A spotlight on all of their grievances, their worries, and their concerns. These people are human, right? They have to understand that Megumi and Yuuji aren’t opposing them because they want power. It’s because they want this job to be safe.
Even while they eat, they strategize their best talking points. Yuuji wants to appeal to them emotionally, while Megumi wants to use statistics from the past to show how dangerous missions are. Despite their different approach, there’s still one goal, and Okkotsu’s words ring throughout both of their minds.
Raise hell.
There are pressing concerns that the higher ups can’t deny, and though they might see sorcerers as soldiers or machines, they’re human, too. They can’t expect everyone to die just for them. They can’t expect children to rebuild the world and reshape society. The most important thing that Megumi and Yuuji want to stress is that students deserve an environment that’s not working against them.
They decide that if this is their olive branch, then they should go in peacefully. Setting aside their disdain for the board will be difficult, but it could be worth it, if it means that their words might actually get through to the higher ups. Megumi doesn’t want to risk losing an opportunity like this.
The sun starts to dip past the horizon, and the blue sky shifts into a deep orange color, burning and vibrant. It makes the clouds look pink, outlined in gold that traces each bump and ridge. It’s a beautiful view. Hitori and Sora look out at the water, reflecting everything above, as if the bay itself is on fire, and Megumi watches as the light shines in their eyes.
They look so young, staring as the train carves its way through Hokkaido. Cities pass, buildings pass, people pass, cars pass. There are large, open fields, tall mountains, and rolling hills. It must be beautiful in the summer, he thinks, with lush trees and blooming flora.
When they finally reach Sapporo, it’s dark out. The city looks alive as ever, with buildings all lit up and people wandering the streets. If Megumi were to pretend, he could tell himself that this is just Tokyo. There are bustling markets and moving crowds, people shopping for the holidays, and endless restaurants and stands. It’s so familiar, yet so different.
Hitori and Sora step out of the station, looking up and all around them. They stay near Megumi and Yuuji, who’s smiling and pointing out different shops. Megumi offers a small smile back, indulging him as they move through the city. Their hotel should be nearby, but they take their time walking along the streets.
“Where should we eat?” Sora asks, turning back to look between Megumi and Yuuji. “I want to try some place local.”
Hitori turns around, too. “How close are we to the hotel?”
“It should be right up ahead,” Megumi says, pointing forward. “After we check in, we can go somewhere to eat, but we shouldn’t be out too late.”
“Maybe we can explore Sapporo a bit after the mission,” Sora suggests.
Yuuji glances at Megumi. “We might have some time.”
A couple of blocks later, and the four of them find the hotel they’re meant to stay in. It’s nice, with a tall, open lobby and classic paintings that line the wall. It’s much nicer than the places Megumi’s used to staying in when he goes on multi-day missions, but he doesn’t let the thought linger, as he’s more focused on settling in and getting ready for tomorrow.
Hitori and Sora split off to find their rooms, telling Megumi and Yuuji that they’ll text them when they’re ready. Megumi and Yuuji are about to separate, too, when he notices that their numbers are the same.
“We share a room now?” Yuuji asks, looking back and forth between his card and Megumi’s. “Did you ask them to do that?”
“No, but it’s probably easier,” Megumi says with a shrug. “We usually end up in the same room anyway.”
“I didn’t think they paid attention to that stuff,” Yuuji comments, trailing off.
Either way, they don’t mind it. The two make their way to their room, sighing when the door finally shuts. Inside is spacious, with a small sitting area and a half-kitchenette. A desk sits under the window, open with a view of the city, and a dining table with two chairs is just to the left of it. There’s also a large television on the wall that has some hotel information displayed, and a single bed in the back. Megumi supposes the higher ups are paying attention after all.
Yuuji drops his bag onto the table, while Megumi sets his things on the desk. They check out the room a bit more, inspecting the bed and turning off the TV. Yuuji walks into the bathroom, commenting that the shower is nice, and Megumi peeks his head around to find him standing inside, fully clothed, with his arms up.
The shower is nice. It’s lined with dark stone tile and takes up about half the space in the bathroom. There’s a tall glass door that’s currently wide open, and it seems like the showerhead is one of the rainfall types with a detachable head. Megumi makes note of the detachable head and returns to the main room.
It doesn’t take long for Hitori and Sora to message them, asking if they’re both ready to go. Truthfully, Megumi would prefer to stay in and rest. It’s been a long day, and they’ve spent most of it on a train, sitting in those cramped seats. At the same time, however, it’s nice to have this with the third-years. They never get to just slow down, and it’s been a year of nonstop training and missions and hard work ever since they were promoted to Grade 2. If Megumi were to be honest, he misses these little moments. The quieter ones. Where he can feel like a teenager again.
When they meet in the lobby, Hitori and Sora are both pointing at Sora’s phone, talking over each other about where they want to go. Megumi and Yuuji walk up to join them in conversation, and they’re asked to settle a debate between foreign food and Japanese. There’s some back and forth for a moment. Megumi doesn’t really have an opinion on where they go, but there seems to be a mix of interests from everyone else.
Eventually, they settle on a restaurant nearby that offers a wide variety of options. It seems to be a good enough compromise between the siblings, and they both lead the way through the city. Even at this hour, it’s still pretty busy. Hitori and Sora are looking around as they walk, commenting on what they want to do and where they want to stop.
Megumi knows that he and Yuuji need to get back from this mission to meet with the board as soon as possible, but he can’t help but consider pushing back their return. Even if it’s just for a few hours, it’s a chance for them to just be normal for once.
The four of them sit together in a lightly crowded restaurant. Yuuji’s arm is slung casually around Megumi’s chair, and Hitori and Sora are both gushing over the different options of food listed on the menu.
It’s a nice night.
It’s a peaceful night.
It’s a soft, quiet moment, where Megumi isn’t stressing over the mission or the higher ups or training. Everything is so bright and cheery, and Yuuji’s laughter is filling his ears. It’s so melodic and beautiful — a laugh that Megumi could listen to for the rest of his life. Oh, what he would do to keep that with him.
Yuuji doesn’t ever really get it, but he has the kind of laugh that could stop someone on the street. He’s the type of magnetic force that people are just drawn to. He’s kind, and he’s endearing, and he’s always thinking of others, and it never occurs to him that he’s the type of person that everyone just wants to be around.
And he still chose Megumi.
How lucky is he?
Yuuji’s love is something that burns. Not raging and chaotic, no. Yuuji’s love is something more akin to a candle in the night. Soft, quiet — a beacon in the dark. It’s a whisper of emotion that runs deeper than it seems. A simple flame that’s just as hot as any other fire. Not loud. That’s the thing. Yuuji has never needed to be loud about his love. But it’s there. Beneath everything else — all of the hurt and the pain and the grief — his love is there, and it engulfs Megumi. It warms him. It guides him.
So, even though it’s well past eleven, and they should definitely be heading back to the, Megumi — just this once — wants to live in the moment. Here. With Yuuji at his side, Hitori and Sora laughing and smiling and being young again, and Megumi. Just feeling so much love.
If he could do it, he would be selfish. He would take this moment and freeze it. A memory forever captured. A brief pocket in time where he feels like himself. Something he hasn’t felt in ages. It’s so fleeting. He’s collecting water in the rain. All of these little moments slip through his fingers, and it’s gone before he can hold onto it.
He wonders when he’ll get this again.
If Megumi and Yuuji go to this board meeting and actually manage to change things around, would he get this again?
MISSION SUMMARY (cont.)
2021-12-08
The reported curse was located near Mount Tomuraushi and believed by residents of the area to be the wrathful deity, Acala, or more commonly known as the Fudo Myo in Japanese. Investigation suggests that following the events of 2018 (see: file), shrines in Hokkaido were disregarded, with many spiritual persons fleeing Japan altogether, leaving it vulnerable to curses. The mass accumulation of cursed energy—born from the fear of Ryomen Sukuna (see: file), the deaths in the Culling Games (see: file), and the devastation in both Shibuya and Shinjuku, combined with the land’s sacred power—created a false god as negative emotion continued to gather. Note that this curse was not one of the Thirteen Buddhas, nor did it stem from one of the Hokkaido shrines, though it was similar in appearance, behavior, and attack.
Sorcerer(s) dispatched: Oikado Sora and Oikado Hitori; Itadori Yuuji
(standby)and Fushiguro Megumi(standby)Note: One sorcerer was left in critical condition. One death confirmed.
Curse Grade ranking: Special Grade
Exorcism: Confirmed
Mission status: Closed
Before Megumi even gets the chance to feel rested, the sound of Yuuji’s alarm is pulling him from his half-sleep. He wishes he could say it’s because they were out late, but the truth is that they could have turned in the moment they got to the hotel, and he still would have felt this way.
Everything feels off, and it’s something that he can’t place. For the past seven hours, it’s been eating him alive. While Yuuji slept soundly — like a fucking rock, actually — next to him, Megumi tossed and turned, and he even started pacing around the room sometime after three.
Whether it’s information about the curse or something to do with his cursed energy, it feels like there’s something missing, and he has no idea what. He and Yuuji first noticed it on the train, but now that they’re here — more settled — it’s like it’s staring at him right in the face, and he just can’t figure it out.
What’s different, what’s different, what’s different…
At first, he had thought it was his cursed energy. He was so convinced, in fact, that he summoned a single rabbit just to see if he could. Not his technique then, though it seems to be the closest answer. It’s just not quite right. He feels so close to it. It’s like he’s searching for a word, and he has all the right synonyms, but nothing he can come up with is the one.
Next to him, Yuuji begins to stir, mumbling in his sleep. He silences his alarm without even looking at his phone, and his breathing turns deep and even. Asleep again. Megumi really hates him right now.
Yuuji’s never been a fan of the early morning missions, though Megumi can’t say he doesn’t feel the same. Still, they’ve got about an hour, and Megumi knows that Yuuji will want to eat breakfast, as it is his favorite meal, so he lets him sleep for a bit longer. At least one of them should get to.
Instead of sleeping, Megumi busies himself with meaningless tasks. He packs up all of his things — not like there’s much anyway — and goes through his morning routine. Turning on the school’s tablet, he checks and double checks for any mission updates from the higher ups, then he reads the report summary for the millionth time. Once he’s sure there’s no secret message hidden in the kanji, he reorganizes his bag — because what else is he going to do? — and that’s about when Yuuji comes back to the land of the living.
“Morning,” he grumbles, voice raspy.
“Good morning,” Megumi replies, watching as Yuuji yawns and stretches in bed.
It’s not fair, he thinks, how Yuuji can wake up and still look so beautiful. His hair is messy, but it’s more of a relaxed, unkempt sort of look, rather than the erratic and wild nature of Megumi’s hair. Even as he squints, still waking up, that familiar golden color peeks through in the morning light, shining in his irises, and it leaves Megumi feeling a little warmer than before.
“How much time do we have?” Yuuji asks, stretching once more before standing up. He quickly sheds his shirt, tossing it in the vague direction of his bag as he walks towards the bathroom.
“You have about forty-five minutes,” Megumi answers. His eyes follow Yuuji, settling on tan skin and the carved muscles on his back. He’d never consider himself to be a jealous type of person, but he finds himself thinking — once again — that it’s not fair. Just how beautiful Yuuji really is.
Stopping at the bathroom door, he turns back to Megumi, smiling slyly. “Shower in ten, dress in five, breakfast in twenty, then we meet up with Ijichi.”
Megumi simply hums, shrugging. “Shower in fifteen — you spend more time on your hair than you think. Dress in five, if you don’t get distracted on your phone. Breakfast in twenty, because I’m dragging you away otherwise.”
Yuuji laughs and shakes his head. “You have no faith in me.”
He showers in fifteen minutes.
By the time they’re both ready to leave the hotel room, Megumi does a quick once-over to make sure they have all of their things. It’s brief, but they still take a minute to enjoy the quiet together. The mission lurks before them, and they’ll have to focus on work, but for now, it’s just them.
Yuuji always kisses Megumi like he’s trying to freeze time. It’s like this moment is the most important thing to him, and he’s doing everything he can to preserve it. Slow, languid, something so unlike everything else in their lives, and it makes Megumi want to slow down with him. He feels the soft, subtle smile on his lips, hears the low chuckle from the back of Yuuji’s throat, and he can’t help but smile, too.
When they finally part, they have fifteen minutes to eat.
Yuuji laughs as Megumi rolls his eyes and sends a message to Hitori and Sora, asking if they’d like to join them downstairs.
It’s Megumi, Yuuji, and the third-years, still rubbing the sleep away from their eyes. Both Megumi and Yuuji are in their uniforms, along with Hitori and Sora — minus their jackets. There’s not much chatter, but there never is at this time of day, and they’ve still got another two hours before they’ll be anywhere near Biei. Megumi has no idea what to expect for this mission, but Yuuji is sure that they can handle it together, so he eats — still uneasy — but feeling better knowing that they’ve got each other’s backs.
Still, he’s going over the mission report. Again.
“Where’s Ijichi going to meet us?” Hitori asks, peeking at the tablet in Megumi’s hands.
Scrolling back to the dispatch information section, he shows the screen to the rest of the table. “Ijichi is supposed to be meeting us here, at the hotel, in a few minutes. We should probably head outside soon to see if we can find him.”
Hitori nods as Sora starts to put on her jacket, her eyes flicking to Yuuji for a split second as he clears the table. There’s a flash of nervousness, barely noticeable, and Megumi is suddenly reminded that this mission isn’t for him and Yuuji.
This is their mission. Hitori and Sora. This is something that Sora doesn’t even fully want, but she’ll follow her brother to Hell if there’s even a chance that she can save him from burning.
Megumi wants to comfort her. He wants to be able to tell her that everything will be fine, but he can’t promise her that. Not when there’s so much that he still doesn’t know about this case. He and Yuuji will be there, but will they react in time?
Okkotsu Yuuta: I pulled some strings btw. Hopefully this will help you both feel better about the mission.
Megumi furrows his brows at the message. What strings could Okkotsu be talking about? Is it something that’ll come through on the tablet? He turns the screen on, refreshing it for any updates, but there’s nothing.
“Alright, ready to go?” Yuuji asks, walking back up with a smile.
To anyone else, he would see calm, cool, and collected. But Megumi can see that his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, there’s a slight waver to his voice, and his shoulders are stiff.
If Megumi is worried about this mission, Yuuji must be a million times worse. He always talks about feeling responsible for the third-years. Sora wants to protect Hitori, and Yuuji wants to protect Sora. Megumi, of course, wants to protect Hitori, too, but they butt heads more than Yuuji and Sora do.
Hitori is always the one gunning for a finish line that’s being constantly pushed back. Strong isn’t strong enough for him, and he wants to work himself past his limit. Megumi knows what that’s like, and it’s not something he wants for his underclassmen, and yet…
“Let’s go,” Hitori says, shooting up. “I’m ready.”
Megumi swallows and nods, standing with him.
This is it.
Sora straightens her jacket and pulls her hair back into a ponytail.
This is it.
Yuuji offers a softer, kinder smile to Megumi — for Megumi only — and sends a wink his way.
This is it.
They head out of the hotel, feeling the frigid winter air biting at their skin. Breath fogs in front of Megumi’s face, curling in little ghostly wisps before it dissipates. High in the sky, clouds stretch on without end. A cool, grey overcast. A sunless sort of day.
This is it.
Megumi rounds the hotel, looking for the pick-up and drop-off section of the drive. Everyone follows until they finally spot Ijichi, standing next to a black SUV, and it doesn’t click for Megumi why he’s not in the usual sedan until he spots someone else there with him.
Nitta Arata.
Megumi doesn’t know much about him. He’s a fourth-year student at the Kyoto high school, and it was his technique, Pain Killer, that saved Nobara’s life in Shibuya, but… that’s about it. In all of the post-Shinjuku recovery and managing things with the Zen’in clan, he never had the chance to sit and talk to the guy.
“Arata, is that you?” Yuuji calls out with a smile. He quickens his pace, followed by Hitori and Sora. “Did you get assigned to the mission, too?”
Arata offers Yuuji a polite smile and shifts in place. “Well… not really. Okkotsu arranged for me to come along. A sort of just-in-case kind of thing. He doesn’t have a good feeling about this mission, and—”
“What do you mean?” Hitori interrupts, stepping forward a bit. His brows are pinched, and he’s looking at Arata like he’s just offended him.
“A curse being in Hokkaido is… unheard of,” Arata replies, his tone neutral. “Okkotsu is just concerned that it could be dangerous, and my technique can be used to help someone who’s hurt.”
Hitori purses his lips, processing the information. His hands twitch at his sides, and it looks like he wants to say more, but he doesn’t, as apprehension flashes across his face. Behind him, Sora chews the inside of her cheek, looking back and forth between her brother and the new addition to their team.
“Are you actually going on the mission with us?” Megumi asks, noting his lack of school uniform.
“Not really,” he says apologetically. “I’ll be outside of the curtain with Ijichi. The idea is that you won’t need me at all, since Itadori has RCT and you have your deer, but—”
“Just in case,” Megumi finishes. “I get it.”
This isn’t good.
Well, it is good to have someone like Arata with that kind of technique here, but if Okkotsu is so worried that he pulled these kinds of strings, went behind the board like this, then it only serves to make Megumi more concerned for what might happen.
There’s one more piece of the puzzle that he doesn’t have, but what the hell is it? They should have all of their bases covered at this point. More than covered, actually. Two Special Grade sorcerers, two Semi-Grade 1 sorcerers, someone who can use Reverse Cursed Technique, and someone with a shikigami that can use Reverse Cursed Technique — they should be able to take down an entire nation, and yet—
“Thank you for coming all this way,” Sora says politely, bowing her head to Arata.
He lets out a small, nervous laugh and holds his hands up. “No, no, you don’t have to do all of that! It’s no problem, really! If all goes well, you won’t even know I’m here.”
“Still,” Sora says with a smile. “Thank you.”
Arata flushes and nods, offering a smile in return.
“By the way, Ijichi,” Yuuji says, walking over the trunk to put his bags inside. Everyone else follows suit. “Do you know how we’re getting home? The tablet just says ‘TBD.’”
“Currently, the school is planning for you to return by train,” Ijichi says, pushing his glasses up as he looks at his phone. “But that could change.”
“Why is that?” Megumi asks.
Ijichi meets his eyes with a look he doesn’t like. “It just depends.”
The word “unknown” floats in Megumi’s mind again. It’s just that word over and over again. Unknown. There are too many unknowns about this mission. Unknowns about the curse, unknowns about why there’s a curse here in the first place, and unknowns about how they’re getting home.
Just how much faith does the board have in them to complete this mission?
“Are you all ready to go?” Ijichi asks, walking around to the driver door. Arata stands by the passenger door, waiting, and Hitori and Sora make their way to the backseats. All four of them turn back for an answer.
And then there’s Yuuji, still by the trunk, staring at nothing. A heaviness weighs down on him, and Megumi knows it, because he can feel it, too. There’s no more pretending or putting it off. Whatever it is that’s been bothering Megumi all night, they’re about to find out what it is. Whatever curse that’s lurking here, on this sacred land, they’re about to meet it.
Are they ready?
Megumi nudges Yuuji’s arm, voice soft as he says, “Hey.”
Yuuji blinks, looking over at him. His eyes are clouded with concern, and there’s a darkness to them that brings Megumi pause. It’s anger, simmering just below the surface. Like lava that’s about to break through and erupt. Yuuji’s anger has always been a force of nature. That much was proven when he was fighting for Megumi’s life in Shinjuku. And here he stands. Today. In Hokkaido. And Megumi thinks that he looks just the same.
He’s getting himself ready for this fight, and the problem is that he looks a little too much like a sorcerer. Like someone who’s about to give their life for the sake of others. Megumi knows that he has no room to talk, and yet he wants to be a little selfish here.
Not with himself.
Megumi’s never been the type to be selfish for himself.
But if he could, he’d ask Yuuji to slow down. To stop putting himself first in the line of danger so that everyone else makes it out alive. He’s stubborn that way. Always thinking about how to secure a long life for everyone else. And Megumi loves him for it. He does. That’s no doubt.
But sometimes he thinks back to that boy he first met in Sendai, and he can’t help but feel a little guilty.
By saving Yuuji, was Megumi actually damning him?
“We’re ready, yeah?” Megumi murmurs. Standing there — tracing the scars on Yuuji’s face with his eyes, looking past the missing piece of his ear, and remembering the two nubs where his fingers should be — he tries not to drown himself in remorse. “You and me.”
And there it is — Yuuji’s soft smile. A little bit of that light returning to his eyes. A reminder that he’s not fallen to sorcery completely, and there’s still that same boy that Megumi saved back in 2018.
“You and me, Meg.”
Megumi smiles back, a soft curl of his lips, subtle and sweet. He may not be able to shake this creeping, building feeling of dread from the back of his mind, but he knows Yuuji. He’s too selfless, so Megumi will have to be selfish for him.
Yuuji, the most stubborn person he’s ever met. Yuuji, who keeps fighting until he’s down for good. Yuuji, who would move mountains, break every law, and defy gravity just to save the people he loves.
And Megumi will fight for Yuuji. He’ll fight because he promised that he would. Because he’s trying — he really is. It’s not always easy, but Yuuji helps. It’s easier with him. Living is easier with him. So, as long as Yuuji’s fighting, Megumi’s fighting, too. Until he can’t anymore. He’ll do what he can to see his purpose through, because if Megumi’s purpose is to live for Yuuji, then the most he can do is make sure that Yuuji’s is fulfilled, too.
Help people.
Give them a chance at a proper life.
Let them have a proper death.
If Yuuji’s going to do that for everyone else, then Megumi’s going to do that for Yuuji.
It’s quiet in the car. Megumi and Yuuji sit in the very back, looking out the window. Their hands rest over the seat between them, their fingers barely interlocked, as they move further away from Sapporo and more into the rural landscape of Hokkaido. Megumi watches as the world passes by the car window in a blur — a mix of whites and greys and the occasional green.
In front of them, in the middle seats, Hitori and Sora are dead asleep, leaning atop one another. They passed out about twenty minutes into the drive, and a part of Megumi envies them for it. At the very front, Ijichi is driving, completely focused on the road. His glasses glint in the overcast light, and he occasionally peeks at the rearview mirror just to make sure that everyone’s doing okay. Next to him, Arata is playing some sort of game on his phone, leaning back into the seat with his feet up.
It's strange for there to be so many people here. Megumi isn’t used to being sent on missions with more than three sorcerers, and even then, it’s been a while. Ever since he was promoted to Special Grade, he’s had more solo missions or the occasional mission with Yuuji. Now, here they are. Five sorcerers and one manager in a car.
He passes the time by reading the rest of his book, trying not to stress over the mission more than he has been. It’s not really working though. The words aren’t registering in his mind, and he has to read a paragraph several times for any of the information to sink in. Eventually, he gives up in favor of watching Yuuji’s screen as he scrolls through his phone.
A bit more time passes, and the third-years begin to stir. They blink awake, pulling away from one another and stretching in their seats. At this point in the drive, there’s nothing but open fields and rolling hills. There are mountains in the distance, and it won’t be long before they reach Mount Tomuraushi. Megumi estimates that they’re about twenty minutes or so from Biei, and from there, it’ll be less than an hour to get to the mountain.
They’re so close.
“Hey, guys,” Megumi says, leaning forward. In his peripherals, Yuuji turns to look at him, but he’s focused on Hitori and Sora.
He’s been thinking about this mission — practically nonstop since they arrived in Hokkaido — but while he’s ran through every possible scenario he could conceptualize in his head, he has no idea what the third-years are planning.
“What are you going to do when you get there?”
Hitori and Sora glance at one another, a bit of apprehension in their expressions, then turn back to Megumi.
“We need to draw the curse out,” Sora says first. “The curtain will help with that, but we need to make sure we know what we’re up against.”
Megumi nods. Right so far.
“Okay, what else?” he asks.
“We should try to talk to some of the people at the village,” Hitori chimes in. “See what they know.”
“The mountain is nearly forty minutes from Biei,” Megumi says. “Does that mean we’re stopping there first?”
This is where their inexperience is starting to show. Most of their missions up to this point have been pretty cut and dry, but this one is out of process. It’s that same problem, plaguing them again. Too many unknowns.
“We’ll stop in Biei first,” Hitori insists. He turns to Ijichi. “Is that okay?”
Ijichi simply shrugs. “Whatever you think is necessary.”
“And you’ve looked over the mission report?” Megumi asks, holding up the tablet.
“Of course, we have!” Hitori defends, scowling sharply.
Frustration flickers, and Megumi’s brows dip. “Yeah? Then why have I had this tablet since yesterday?”
“We know what we’re going up against,” his student insists.
“If you’ve read it, then you’d know that we don’t know what we’re going up against,” Megumi argues. “The curse ranking is Unknown. Yuuji and I are here to make sure it’s not a Special Grade.”
“Hitori, stop. This isn’t helping,” Sora tries, reaching out for her brother.
Hitori jerks his arm away. “I’m just tired of our mentors not thinking that we’re good enough!”
“Hitori, you know that’s not true,” Yuuji says, sitting forward.
In the front, Ijichi looks at Megumi through the rearview, and Arata sinks further into his seat. Great, he thinks. This is the last thing he wants right now. Hitori’s too stubborn for his own good, and Megumi’s patience is too thin for that right now.
“Then why did you insist on coming along?” Hitori bursts, glaring at Yuuji. “Why don’t you trust us?”
“Because we don’t want you to die, idiot!” Megumi snaps.
Everyone in the car looks at him.
“We don’t trust the board,” he says, lowering his voice. Holding up a finger, he starts counting off each point. “We don’t trust the mission report. We don’t trust the curse’s ranking. We don’t trust anything about this mission. How are you not getting that?”
Hitori opens his mouth to counter, but Megumi’s not done.
“Do you not feel that?” he asks, narrowing his eyes. “Can you not tell?”
Hitori blinks, taken aback. He glances quickly between his sister and Megumi, trying to understand the question, but it’s clear from his reaction that he doesn’t get it.
“I— what—” he sputters, still confused. “I don’t—”
“Something’s different about the cursed energy here, Hitori,” Yuuji says, his voice low. There’s a part of his tone that sounds disappointed, but mostly, he just sounds worried.
“That’s not it,” Megumi corrects him, his eyes still trained on the third-years. They’re both looking back at them with wide-eyed expressions, surely trying to understand what they’re saying. “That’s the closest answer, but it’s something else. Our cursed energy is fine, but there’s something that’s different.”
“They’re right,” Arata chimes in, turning around in his seat. Hitori and Sora meet his gaze, surprised. “I’m not strong like Itadori and Fushiguro, but I could feel it the moment I arrived in Hokkaido. Something’s different about this place.”
“Well, what is it?” Hitori asks, almost defensively.
“We’re not sure,” Megumi answers. All eyes are back to him. “It’s not something I’ve ever sensed before, and I don’t know what I don’t know.”
“All I know is that it reminds me of what Tokyo felt like during Shinjuku,” Arata adds. Then, with a look of remorse, he says, “Sorry, Fushiguro.”
Megumi just shrugs.
“You can’t tell either?” Yuuji asks. He’s looking at Sora.
She shakes her head. “No. I can’t.”
“That’s why we’re here,” Megumi says, looking at Hitori. “If you can’t even tell that there’s something different about this place, then you’re not prepared for whatever’s lurking in that mountain.”
“But you don’t know that,” Hitori huffs, crossing his arms, but he sounds less defensive. More nervous.
“We know enough about this job to know that no mission is ever safe,” Yuuji sighs, shaking his head. “In our first year, I died on a mission, and the only reason I’m alive is because I was Sukuna’s vessel. Megumi, Nobara, and I all had to fight Special Grade curses. Individually. And then we were thrown into Shibuya, the Culling Games, and then it was Shinjuku. Don’t you get it?”
Hitori doesn’t say anything, his gaze downcast.
“Why are you in such a rush to be strong?” Megumi asks. “Is that something you’re willing to risk your life for?”
“You wouldn’t get it,” Hitori grumbles, but there’s apprehension in his voice.
Megumi scoffs, exasperated. “You’re right. I don’t. We didn’t choose to be this way. If it weren’t for what happened to us, we wouldn’t have had to fight for our lives, we wouldn’t be like this.”
“And a lot of our friends would still be alive,” Yuuji finishes, voice low. His words drip with a kind of sadness that only loss knows. The only kind of emptiness that follows watching the people you care about most dying right in front of you, knowing that there was never anything you could have done to stop it.
The rest of the ride is silent.
It’s suffocating. Still air fills Megumi’s lungs and chokes him in the throat. Everything is tense, and the winter chill doesn’t do much to help. Joints are stiff, breathing is tight, and every move feels like the wrong one. Hitori might have stopped arguing back, but he and Yuuji don’t feel like they’ve won anything.
Outside, they’re nearing Biei. There are rolling fields, seemingly endless and vast, and mountains lurk beyond them. It’s strange to see a space so flat and open. Megumi is either used to the skyscrapers of Tokyo or the mountains at Jujutsu Tech, and a weird feeling creeps over him. He knows that it’s supposed to be beautiful and scenic, but right now — at the beginning of December — it just looks sad. Endless trees stand tall, nothing more than skeletons without their leaves, and the grass is long dead. Paired with an overcast sky, Megumi just can’t bring himself to call it beautiful.
Ijichi slows as they start to enter the town. It’s quaint, but there are more people than he expected to see. From what he read about the place, it’s not very populous, though it is big on tourism, so it makes sense. If there are more people around, it might be easier to get answers. Whatever or wherever they may be.
“Where do you want to start?” Ijichi asks, finally breaking the silence. He sounds a little uncertain, as if he didn’t want to be the one to speak first.
No one jumps to answer.
From the corner of his eye, Megumi looks at Hitori. It was his idea to come here, but he’s never had a mission that required investigation to this extent. A few moments pass with no suggestions, and Megumi sighs.
“There’s a shrine in Biei,” he says. “We’ll start there.”
Ijichi catches his eye in the rearview and nods.
In front of him, Hitori simply looks out the window.
The shrine is emptier than anticipated. Ijichi parks in one of the many empty spaces in the lot and stays in the car with Arata, while Megumi, Yuuji, Hitori, and Sora make their way to the main hall. They follow the worship etiquette, bowing at the torii gate and purifying their hands and mouths, looking for anything that could indicate a curse’s presence nearby. There’s almost no one here. Maybe the occasional shrine staff, but even then, it’s not many.
“Aw, look! There’s a heart,” Sora says, pointing to the shrine building.
Yuuji follows her gaze. “Huh. I don’t see that often.”
At the top of the main hall, the shape of a heart has been cut out of the wood. It’s outlined with plated gold that seems to shine despite the cloudy day, and below it, reads Biei Shrine.
“It’s known as the Gorgeous Shrine of Matchmaking,” Megumi explains, walking towards the shrine office. Everyone follows.
“Oh, the ‘Love Shrine,’” Yuuji reads with a smirk, having found a small information booklet. “How do you know about this?”
Megumi rolls his eyes and snatches the booklet from Yuuji’s hands, ignoring his soft chuckles. “The internet, idiot. I looked this place up yesterday. Apparently, people come to it for love and matchmaking. It’s said that if a person were to find the hidden hearts of the shrine, they would become lucky in love.”
“Are we looking for hearts here then?” Yuuji teases, nudging Megumi’s shoulder. “Trying to get lucky?”
Megumi scoffs and shoves him. “The shrine is also one of the three major power spots in this area. I figured the curse being nearby has to be related. I don’t need a shrine for love.”
The last part of his sentence is lighter, and despite this being a serious mission, Yuuji’s teasing brings a sense of normalcy.
“Oh,” is all Yuuji says at first, his expression turning serious. Then the last part clicks and he smiles again. “Oh.”
Megumi rolls his eyes again and suppresses his own smile, mockingly retorting, “‘Oh.’”
They continue to look through the area, briefly splitting off to cover more ground. The world around them is so quiet, with only the soft hum of energy that seems to originate from the shrine itself. It’s very faint, and Megumi can only barely detect it, but it still seems strange. Something like this should be stronger.
It’s also weird to see this place so vacant. He knows that it’s early, and it’s only a Wednesday, but with a shrine like this in a place that’s supposed to get a bunch of tourists, he’d expect it to have someone around. The holidays are only a few weeks away; specifically, the twenty-fourth. The fact that the only other people that Megumi has seen here are those who work here doesn’t sit right with him.
On a surface level, everything seems normal. The Biei Shrine should be bustling with people, and yet it’s like a ghost town. As Megumi continues to inspect the building and different structures, the only thing he can really note is that it seems a bit unkempt. The staff here are either not doing their jobs or they’re overlooking some of the care that the shrine requires, but he brushes it off in favor of more investigation.
Megumi drifts over to the prayer boards, his eyes skimming over some of the written kanji on the hanging ema. It’s nothing specific or eye-catching, but he continues to read as he walks past. There’s talk of love and protection, which makes sense for the shrine, and he wonders if any of these prayers are new — left by someone who’s been here recently.
As he starts to turn away, there’s a name that stands out to him.
Fudo Myo.
Megumi furrows his brows, reading it closer. As far as he knows, Fudo Myo isn’t one of the deities of this shrine. He supposes it wouldn’t be uncommon for someone to pray to it, and there’s a temple for it in Sapporo, but what would bring its name up in Biei?
I wish for protection from the Fudo Myo.
When everyone regroups, no one has anything to report.
“I don’t get it,” Megumi says with a sigh. “There’s something wrong about this place.”
Yuuji furrows his brows, contemplating. “Are you sure the curse has something to do with the shrine?”
Megumi clicks his tongue. “Now that I’m here, I’m certain of it. The energy in Biei is weird, like what we felt on the train, but with the shrine, it’s different. It feels weak here.”
“But this place is supposed to protect people, right?” Sora asks, looking around the area. “Like, it’s a shrine, and people come here for healing and good fortune.”
“That’s why I can’t figure this out,” Megumi says, looking back at the prayer boards. “Where are all of the people?”
He’s missing something. Again. There has to be a connection between this shrine, the curse nearby, and the lack of people. What causes a shrine to be abandoned like this? What creates a curse so powerful that its rank is unknown? Part of that falls on the ignorance of the higher ups, but those managers who died weren’t ignorant. That Grade 1 sorcerer wasn’t ignorant.
I wish for protection from the Fudo Myo.
Megumi narrows his eyes and starts to walk back to the ema as everyone else follows.
“There was this prayer written that I saw,” he says looking through the different boards. “Most of them were pretty plain, but this one had said something about Fudo Myo.”
“Fudo Myo?” Hitori asks, joining him in the search.
“It’s one of the Thirteen Buddhas,” Megumi explains. “A deity. It’s meant to be wrathful. A destroyer of evil.”
“Here,” Yuuji says, grabbing one of the prayer boards. Reading aloud, his brows pinch. “‘I wish for protection from the Fudo Myo’? I don’t get it. You said it’s a destroyer of evil.”
Megumi points at the name. “But what if this is just something that someone thinks is Fudo Myo?”
“But how does that happen?” Sora asks. “How does that appear here? And why?”
Megumi scowls as he looks at everything around him. There’s one more thing that he isn’t seeing that connects this all. A curse has appeared here, in Hokkaido, and it could be something like the Fudo Myo. What would bring something like that here?
His eyes trace the stand that holds the ema. Like the rest of the shrine, it’s just not as nice as what he would expect for a power spot. The staff aren’t taking care of it like they probably should be. Not to the degree that a shrine of this power would need. Part of it looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in months, and—
Oh.
“Japan has been a mess ever since Shibuya was destroyed,” Megumi starts, turning to the rest of the group. “Everyone thought that it was the result of some sort of terrorist attack, but then the government revealed the existence of curses and said that was the cause of what happened. So, let’s say that word of cursed spirits starts to spread. When people are faced with something like this, being told upfront that it’s real, they might flock to these kinds of places for protection.”
His gaze follows a split in one of the columns. All the way down to the base. There’s chipping in the wood and in the stone. Like it could collapse at any moment.
“Or they might stop believing altogether.”
“Do you think the shine was weakened because of that?” Yuuji asks.
“It would explain why the energy feels weak here,” he replies. “The shrine’s protection is fading.”
Sora looks back at the main hall. “So, do we just need to tell the village to take better care of the shrine to get rid of the curse?”
Megumi shakes his head. “I don’t think it’ll be that easy, unfortunately.”
“Something as simple as that could create a curse here?” Hitori asks.
“These shrines have powerful and spiritual meaning,” Megumi explains. “If people start to disregard them, and cursed energy begins to gather from all of the negative emotion, then who knows? What I can’t figure out is how did Tengen’s barrier not help reinforce it?”
Yuuji purses his lips. “Could the remnants in Sukuna be fading?”
“I feel like I would be able to tell…” Megumi mumbles, trailing off.
“Whatever it is, this is serious,” Yuuji says. “If that’s the case, then we need to let everyone else know about Tengen’s barriers. As soon as the mission’s done, we’ll tell them about it.”
Megumi nods. “Yeah. For now, we should exorcise the curse.”
Ijichi still has the car running when they make their way back to him. Crawling into the backseats, Megumi and Yuuji share a look as everyone else settles and they begin to make their way to the mountain.
It’s quiet again, and the air is filled with anticipation. Megumi wants to ask Yuuji what he’s thinking in regards to the third-years, but he doesn’t know how to talk about it with them sitting in the same vehicle, so instead, he just sits there. Stiff. Tense.
At some point, Arata turns around to ask everyone if they picked up on anything while they were walking around the shrine. There’s an exchange of glances before Megumi answers his question. As he explains the theory, Arata’s smile vanishes — replaced with a look of concern — and Ijichi tightens his grip on the wheel.
“Do you think this could be a Special Grade?” Arata asks, looking back and forth between Megumi and Yuuji.
“I think we should treat it as one,” Yuuji says carefully, eyeing the third-years.
Their faces aren’t visible to Megumi at this angle, but he can see them tense in the seat.
Nodding, Arata briefly looks at Hitori and Sora. “What about—”
“We’re going,” Hitori cuts in, insistent.
Megumi’s jaw tightens, and he grits out, “No. You’re not.”
Spinning around, there’s a scowl on Hitori’s face, and his nostrils are flared. “The four of us can handle it!”
“Yuuji and I can handle it,” Megumi corrects. “We’re the only Special Grades in the car.”
“We don’t even know if it’s a Special Grade,” Hitori argues. “The board said not to interfere with our assessment, and you’ve practically taken over the mission already! We’re going.”
“Hitori…” Sora tries. Her voice is quiet. Soft and shaky. She’s looking at him desperately, like she’s about to cry.
“Stop it, Sora!” her brother argues, directing his anger at her. “They don’t have any faith in us, but we can handle this. We’ll be safe.”
“You’ll be safer on the other side of the curtain, Hitori,” Yuuji says, glaring at him. His expression is darkened and serious. Like he really doesn’t want to be having this conversation.
Hitori scoffs. “You can’t stop us from going with you!”
“I think we should let them deal with this,” Sora tries again, keeping her tone calm and placating. “This could be stronger than anything else we’ve fought.”
“Then we work with them,” he stresses. “You can sit this out — fine. But I’m not.”
Immediately, her expression hardens. “No. If you’re going, then I am, too.”
“Neither of you are,” Megumi orders, raising his voice. “You’re both going to stay out here with Ijichi and Arata.”
“Like hell we are!” Hitori yells. “We have to go on this mission! You don’t understand!”
“Then make me understand, Oikado Hitori!” Megumi snaps, sitting forward. “Why do you want to die so badly?”
Hitori’s expression twists in anger, and he surges forward to meet Megumi, yelling in his face, “It’s the only reason we matter!”
The car stops.
Outside, it’s nothing but trees and grass and a tall, looming mountain. They’re past the park, off the beaten path, and right at the drop-off point where they’re meant to cast the curtain and exorcise the curse. The wind is a little stronger up here, the air is a little crisper, and the sky has darkened behind the clouds.
Megumi stares at Hitori, unsure of what to say. Hitori is still glaring at him, right in his face, breathing heavily through his nose. In the corner of his eyes, Megumi sees Sora drop her head against the window, staring outside.
“Hitori—” Yuuji tries, but he just shakes his head.
“If we don’t get strong, then we don’t matter,” Hitori says.
Sora sits up. “Hitori, you know that’s not tr—”
“Stop, Sora, you know what they said!” he argues, squeezing his eyes shut.
In the front, Ijichi and Arata sit, quiet and still, and Megumi occasionally meets Ijichi’s gaze through the rearview mirror.
“Who told you that?” Megumi asks, his voice softer than before. His anger is gone, and all he’s left with is a deep sense of remorse. How could anyone say that? To him? To Sora? How dare they say that?
“Everyone— no one— it doesn’t matter,” Hitori grumbles, huffing as he falls back in his seat with his arms crossed.
“That’s not true,” Yuuji says, moving closer to Megumi. “You both matter so much more than what your grade is worth.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” he scoffs bitterly. “You’re the strongest sorcerers, like, ever. Everyone always talks and gushes about you. The board, our parents, everyone. They all wanna know why we aren’t like you. You’re our mentors.”
“You know why,” Megumi sighs, shaking his head. “You don’t just become a Special Grade.”
“If we were just Grade 1, it would be enough,” Hitori says, sitting back up, his eyes wide with desperation. “We could show everyone that we’re strong.”
Yuuji furrows his brows. “You are strong, but this isn’t the way to get it.”
“What was it that you said about your parents?” Megumi asks. He’s looking at Sora now, too, and she stiffens in her seat. “You said the board and your parents.”
“Nothing.” It’s Sora who speaks, her gaze still set out the window. “Don’t worry about it.”
Megumi raises an eyebrow at her. “Well, I’m going to. What did your brother mean.”
“It means they don’t want anything to do with us,” Hitori spits, and that gets Sora to turn around.
There’s a sheen of tears in her eyes, and she yells, “That’s not true, Hitori!”
Hitori scowls again, his nose scrunching and his mouth curling up. “Yes it is! They think that we’re freaks, and they hate what we are! They practically yelled it at us before shipping us off to this fucking school! ‘Either be useful or stay there’! They want us to be strong, or else we don’t matter!”
“They care about us!” Sora argues, sitting forward. Her eyes are shining, and a single tear falls down her cheek. Still, she doesn’t stop. “They didn’t think we’d be like this, but they’re still our parents!”
“Then why don’t they ever talk to us?!” Hitori argues. His voice booms. “Why do they send you to voicemail every time you call, Sora? If they still love us, why don’t they say it?”
“They do, so stop it, Hitori!” Sora cries, opening her door and storming out. It slams shut, as her words ricochet off the walls of the car, landing dead and flat in the seat she was just sitting in.
At this point, it’s just them — Ijichi, Arata, Hitori, Yuuji, and Megumi. Megumi doesn’t even know what to say. He had no idea this was going on with them. Their parents just dropped them off at the school and left them there? Was it really that easy for them?
His fists curl, and a familiar feeling of bitterness crawls its way up his throat. Abandoning them like that. Sorcerer or not.
Megumi’s suddenly reminded of his own childhood.
“I’ll get her,” Yuuji says, crawling over the seats to the car door.
Sora is pacing around near the trees, frantically wiping the tears from her face. The wind blows her hair in every direction, and she pushes it away in a huff. When Yuuji steps out of the car, she turns away from him, and Megumi can faintly hear her telling him to go away.
“Hitori…” Megumi tries, but he can feel the words dying on his tongue. Anything he says right now won’t heal this wound. It’s cut far too deep for Megumi to fix.
Hitori just shakes his head, regret clear on his face. His breathing is shaky, and he stares out the window at his sister as he fights his own tears. Despite all of the training and the determination and the pushing, Hitori looks like the same kid he was when he first arrived at the school. Like someone in over their head. Like someone who has their whole life ahead of them, if they just knew how to take that step forward.
He watches as Yuuji tries to talk to Sora. At first, she brushes him off, shaking her head and trying to collect herself, but after a bit more prodding, she breaks. Sora lets out a pained noise that can be heard from the car and cries as she clings to Yuuji, sobbing into his arms. Yuuji hugs her tight, looking back at the car as he holds her head, and Hitori sniffles as he starts to cry, too.
“Come on,” Megumi says softly, making his way to the door. He opens it and steps outside, letting the cold air wash over him. Turning back to Hitori, he waits for him to step out. “You alright?”
Hitori sniffs again and nods, taking small, shuffled steps towards Yuuji and his sister.
Megumi is still holding the car door open, and before he shuts it, he leans in to address Ijichi and Arata. “I am so sorry, guys.”
Ijichi shakes his head and holds a hand up. “It’s not the most dramatic thing I’ve seen. Don’t worry.”
Arata offers a small shrug and a smile. “I sort of get it. I have a sister, too.”
Megumi nods and looks back as Hitori and Sora hug one another. They’re both crying, shoulders shaking, and Hitori apologizes for snapping. Yuuji is standing to the side, and when he catches Megumi’s eye, he smiles and gives a thumbs up.
“Ijichi, be ready to cast the curtain,” Megumi orders, turning back. “Once Hitori and Sora are done, we’re sending them back over here. Don’t even wait for a signal. Just cast it when they’re far enough away from us.”
Ijichi swallows and nervously looks at the third-years. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Megumi asserts, almost immediately. “Yuuji and I are taking this mission, and then we’re going back to Tokyo to ask the board what the fuck they think they’re doing by pressuring our students like that.”
“Right…” Ijichi says, taking in a shaky breath. He nods to Arata and slowly starts to stand from his seat.
Megumi taps the roof of the car in response and makes his way towards Yuuji.
The wind has settled now, leaving a heavy stillness in the air. Hitori and Sora are still hugging one another, and they stand several meters from Ijichi and Arata. Looking at Yuuji, he offers a small smile. Casual. He wants to focus on getting the third-years to the car, but he needs to do it discreetly.
“Is everything okay?” he asks, settling next to Yuuji.
Rubbing the back of his neck, he shakes his head. “They’re… better.”
They seem to be in their own world, oblivious to the fact that they’re even over here.
“Good,” Megumi says, stepping closer to wrap his arms around him.
Yuuji stiffens under his touch, and it almost causes Megumi to laugh, feeling him awkwardly return the embrace. He’s surely confused by the sudden contact, but there’s a reason behind it. Megumi has a plan.
His nose brushes against the shell of Yuuji’s ear, and he whispers, “Because I’m going to send them to the car, and Ijichi is going to cast the curtain.”
Yuuji’s breath hitches as he processes what Megumi has just said. Then — so quiet, it can almost be mistaken for a breeze — he replies, “Good.”
It’s hard to tell if Hitori will put up another fight about the mission, but they can’t risk him and Sora getting hurt. Or worse. It’s better if Megumi just does this now and asks for forgiveness later. This curse is going to be powerful, and the third-years are in no shape to fight.
Yuuji nods and pulls away. “I think that’s a good idea. Smart.”
“Yeah, well,” Megumi sighs, looking over at Ijichi. “Let’s see if it works first.”
Walking up to Hitori and Sora, Megumi gently places a hand on their shoulders, and they both look up at him, their eyes red and puffy. Tengen, they look so young. Pain is etched across their expressions — identical on each face. They’re definitely not ready for a fight.
“Why don’t you guys take a moment to sit in the car,” Megumi suggests, nodding his head to where Ijichi is standing. He waves nonchalantly, holding the back door open so as not to arouse suspicion. “We’ll wait for you over here.”
Hitori opens his mouth to say something, but Sora cuts him off, sniffing. “Sure. Thank you, Fushiguro-san.”
Megumi smiles softly as she begins to walk away, pulling Hitori along with her. He doesn’t put up much of a fight, and his hand clings to hers as they both shuffle towards the car. Yuuji appears next to Megumi, reaching down to hold his hand, and for a moment, they just wait.
Megumi feels the rough callouses of Yuuji’s hand, warm and familiar, fitting perfectly into his own. His thumb moves across his knuckles in a comforting, circular motion, and Megumi takes a deep breath, allowing himself to feel calm for the first time since they reached Hokkaido. There’s still a long day ahead. Megumi and Yuuji will have to fight, but he thinks to himself that if he can just have this win, if they can do this on their own…
But as Hitori and Sora continue to the car, that’s when they feel it.
They all feel it.
A power that’s so potent, it’s like lightning striking Megumi right in the chest. Cursed energy floods his senses, and it’s not like anything he’s ever felt before. This energy is ancient beyond comprehension. Like something only spoken about in myths has set foot on the earth. The effect it has is immediate as emotions flood through his mind — wrath, hatred, and pure, raw violence.
Yuuji’s grip tightens, practically crushing Megumi’s hand, like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded.
This power is something dark.
Thunderous.
And it’s right here.
In front of him, Ijichi is frozen, his hands shaking as he holds onto the car door. The look on his face is pure and utter terror as sweat drips from his temple down to his cheek, his mouth ajar. Even through the passenger window, looking at Arata, he stares back at Megumi in abject horror. It’s like his eyes are going to burst from his skull, and he slowly reaches for the door’s handle like he’s meant to run away.
For just a split second, Megumi can feel the panic rising. He sees it manifest in the body language of Hitori and Sora, just close enough to the car, but not quite there yet. The curse could be anywhere. It’s not even visible, and it still has this sort of presence. Fuck. They’re still too close. They need to get out of here. Their lives are in danger. They need to run.
Now.
Instead, they freeze in place.
Shaking and tense, Hitori turns around to look at Megumi, his eyes widened in fear. He tries to call out, his mouth forming the words, but no sound comes. He only continues to gape. Sora stands in front of him, just looking ahead, but the rest of her body trembles. Even from where he stands, Megumi can see her white-knuckle grip in her brother’s hand, and she’s not moving. Fuck, she’s not moving.
Megumi grits his teeth, looking around for any sign of the curse. He can feel its energy in the air, surrounding him, but he can’t pinpoint it. Why can’t he fucking pinpoint it?
It’s like there’s a constant rumbling in his ear. Like the sounds of an earthquake. The world around them builds in this crescendo until it’s all he can hear, and when he looks up, that’s when he sees it.
It’s dark. Darker than the night. Darker than Megumi’s shadows. It looks like a piece of the sky is missing, cut in the outline of the curse. The only thing that gives it shape is the tattered cloth that hangs from its body. There are bells and beaded necklaces draped around its neck and two glowing red eyes that look in opposite directions. One eye looks up towards the sky, but the left eye peers straight down. As if it’s staring into Megumi’s soul. It sits in the air, legs crossed, as it bears its weapons. In its right hand, a sword glints in the muted sunlight, and in its left, a noose swings in the air.
This curse. This power. This is cursed energy, forged in the image of a deity, twisted and warped and—
It’s right over him and Yuuji.
Hitori and Sora are close, but Megumi thinks they should be far enough away, if they just move a little bit further. There’s no time to risk it. They need to get moving, and Ijichi — fuck — he could cast this curtain and keep them out of it. He needs to. They need to stay out of it.
Anxiety builds. Fear runs through his veins. This curse is unlike anything Megumi has ever seen before, and while it might not be a King of Curses, this thing very well may be a god.
Megumi only has the good sense to scream, “Ijichi, do it now!”
Ijichi jumps, eyes locking onto Megumi in an instant. Megumi nods, feeling more desperate than he’s ever felt in his life, and he holds onto Yuuji with all of his strength, because — fuck — they’re going to need it.
“Sora, Hitori, you need to run to the car!” he yells, gritting his teeth. “Move! Go!”
Megumi has no idea what’s going to happen when this curtain falls. When the stage is left only for him, Yuuji, and this curse. He’d like to think that he’s strong. That he has enough power to ensure their safety. Yuuji has enough power to ensure their safety, surely.
But looking up at this being, malevolent and imposing, he just can’t say that he feels certain.
Ijichi is already starting the chant, his eyes closed, Sora and Hitori are moving as fast as their trembling legs can take them, and a dark spot forms at the highest point in the sky, branching and stretching. Like water falling over a glass dome. Darkness spreads, blocking out the light, casting the world into the familiar, deep purple tint that comes with a curtain.
Megumi and Yuuji continue to hold hands, looking up as they prepare themselves for this battle. It’s going to be messy. He’s sure of it. But Hitori and Sora will be safe, and—
“Get out of there!”
It’s Arata, standing halfway out of the car door, screaming with a raw desperation that rips the words right from his throat. He’s looking at— he’s waving at—
“What are you doing?!” Hitori shrieks. His voice cuts over the rumbling, right through every other thought in Megumi’s mind, piercing his ears — high-pitched and loud. “Sora, stop!”
Megumi tears his vision from the car and looks at the siblings, just at the edge of the curtain.
They’re only a couple of steps away.
They’re only a couple of steps away.
But it’s too late.
As the curtain closes, Sora desperately grabs her brother and shoves him forward as Hitori screeches at her, so loud that his voice cracks. Even as he hits the ground, he keeps crying out, scrambling to get to his feet, but there’s nothing he can do.
The law of sacrifice.
The life of a lamb given for another.
Hitori’s screams are heard until the veil hits the ground, and all Megumi can register is the soft, muted pounding of a boy on the other side, desperate to save his sister.
Sora stands with her back to Megumi and Yuuji, under the looming curse that hovers above them. Her shoulders are still shaking. Megumi can only stare in horror as it registers for her. That she’s not on the other side with her brother. Hitori’s fists connect with the curtain, echoing off the walls, but nothing he can do will break it. This curtain falls when either the curse dies…
Or everyone else.
Yuuji takes a step forward, mouth agape, as he manages, “Sora—”
His voice is so quiet and fractured.
It’s like listening to a person’s heart break in real time, because this is his student, and she’s just damned herself. He can’t even finish what he was going to say, only able to stare at her as his hand drops from Megumi’s grasp.
She still won’t look at them.
Sora continues to face the curtain where her brother is — just on the other side — looking down at the ground where he had just stood. There’s no guarantee that any of them will live or die in here. It’s a truth that she’s sure to know, but as it sinks in, all she can do is stand there.
Yuuji takes another step forward, intent on protecting her. “Sora, come on.”
The rumbling resumes, and everyone turns to look up at the curse. It’s as if it’s laughing, swinging its sword high in the sky like a threat. Yuuji turns back to Sora and immediately sprints to her, closing the distance between them in seconds. He grabs her and picks her up, hauling her over his shoulder just as the curse brings the sword down.
Its size makes its movements slow, but it’s still coordinated and powerful. Sora screams and buries her face into Yuuji’s shoulder blades as wind from the blade gushes, blowing Megumi back and almost knocking Yuuji over.
The curse cuts into the earth like butter. As if it was nothing more than soft, malleable clay, rather than layers of hardened sediment and rock.
Yuuji drops Sora onto her feet by Megumi, breathing heavily and looking back at the curse for its next attack. His eyes are blown wide, darting all over its body like he’s looking for the best possible angle of attack.
Next to Megumi, Sora crumples to the ground, still in shock.
Megumi crouches, putting both hands on her shoulders, making her look at him as he says, “Sora. Hey. Sora. You need to focus.”
She stares at him, completely terrified. He can feel her shaking beneath his touch, and her pupils are wide, dilated, and wild.
“Sora,” Megumi urges, shaking her gently. “Please, you need to focus. You have to fight.”
“I can’t—” she gasps, grabbing his arms. “I can’t fight this thing. My technique won’t do anything against it. I—”
“You can,” Megumi insists. He squeezes her shoulders as desperation begins to build. He has no idea when the next attack will be. “You can, Sora. You’re so strong.”
She shakes her head, letting out a choked sob. “I’m not like you guys. I don’t want to be like you guys. I—”
The curse roars, and she screams, curling into Megumi’s arms and burying her face in his chest. All he can do is hold her, looking up at the mass of darkness as it starts to turn in the air.
“Megumi, we have to move,” Yuuji says, crouching next to him.
Megumi pulls back from Sora just enough to meet her eye. “Listen to me. You need to be strong, okay?” She stares at him in frenzied fear. “You are strong, Sora. You need to get back to Hitori, alright? We’ll get you back.”
At the mention of her brother’s name, her grip tightens, and she looks back to the spot where she had shoved Hitori to safety. Megumi can see the gears turning in her head — the truth blaring at her that the only way to see him again is by fighting. Maybe he’s cursed himself by promising her this, but he means it. He will get her back.
Sora presses her lips together, still shaking as she fights back tears, but something in her gaze changes. It hardens, and she swallows, nodding as she exhales a slow, shaky breath.
Megumi rubs his hand over her shoulder. “Okay?”
Sora nods. “Okay…”
“Come on, Sora,” Yuuji says, helping her up. He squeezes her hand and does his best to offer her a smile. “You got this. You’re going to do great.”
She nods again, and the three of them take off.
As they run from the curse, it seems that no matter which way it’s “facing,” its eyes always follow them. That’s going to be a problem. Its form beneath the cloth is shapeless, and if it doesn’t have a “back,” then there’s no way they can attack it by surprise.
Still, some distance would be good for now, and that gives them time to come up with a plan. They find a large tree, wide at the base, void of leaves, and crouch behind it.
“It can see us no matter where we move,” Megumi says first. “It doesn’t have a ‘back side,’ so we don’t have the element of surprise.”
Yuuji curses, and Sora peeks around the tree to see for herself. Sure enough, it’s right where they left it, sword and noose facing the same direction, but its eyes are still visible.
She spins back and looks between Megumi and Yuuji. “How are we supposed to fight it?”
“All of us can attack from a long distance,” Yuuji says. “I say that we don’t get close to it unless we have to. We need to focus on fighting it, but protecting Sora is my top priority.”
“Don’t make me your crutch!” Sora argues, glaring at him. Yuuji only blinks, surprised by her harsh tone. That fighter spirit she’s always had during training is gleaming in her eyes. “I don’t want to hold you back.”
Megumi shakes his head. “It’s not like that. You’re still our underclassman, and we’re still your mentors.”
“You’re not a crutch, Sora,” Yuuji adds. “But we need to make sure that you stay safe. You’ll support our attacks, but you’re not hindering us. You got it?”
Sora pauses for a moment, then nods.
Tengen, she still looks terrified, but she’s doing her best to put on a brave face. Megumi wishes he could tell her that it’ll all be okay, but even if he somehow believed it himself, Sora never would.
“Megumi,” Yuuji says, looking back at the curse. “How much do you think it’s going to take to kill this thing?”
Megumi sighs. “I don’t know. It’s powerful. We could sense it before it even appeared to us. It might take everything.”
“It might be good to have your deer out,” Yuuji suggests. He turns back to Megumi and gestures at his hands. “Its RCT might help block out attacks with cursed energy, and it can heal us.”
Humming in agreement, he nods. “Just know that it needs to touch you in order to heal you. I’ll try to sustain the deer and Totality, and I’ll summon Nue as needed.”
Yuuji nods, then nudges Sora with a small smile. “Are you ready?”
She swallows. “I don’t know if I can do what you can, but I’ll try.”
“See if you can cut into it with your needles,” Megumi suggests. “And if you can, then imbue them with your poison.”
“I can do that,” she says.
Yuuji smiles at her. “Hey. You’re doing to do great.”
They all nod to each other, then they’re darting from the tree. The curse is still where it first appeared, but it seems to have “turned around” now. Its sword swings in the air, facing them, and there’s more of that rumbling sound. It reverbs so loudly that Megumi can feel it in his chest, and he widens his stance for more stability.
To his left, Yuuji and Sora are spread out along the trees, giving a bit of distance between the three of them. Yuuji is the furthest away, with Sora right in the middle. He’s already preparing to attack when Megumi forms the hand shape to summon his deer.
The shadows around him start to bend and stretch, creating a mass on the ground at his side as the stag starts to materialize. It rises, standing tall, huffing as its front hoof scuffs the ground. The hide shines, shimmering as it moves and breathes. It looks virtually the same as it did the day he tamed it, except for its eyes. They’re no longer a bright orange glow. They’re now a soft golden brown, not unlike Yuuji’s, and they stare at the curse up ahead.
“Protect Sora,” Megumi orders it, getting ready to summon Totality.
The deer huffs once more and sinks back into the shadows, moving along the forest floor in his peripherals until it appears behind Sora. She jolts in surprise, looking up at the deer and then back at Megumi with wide eyes.
Then the curse roars.
Megumi turns to it in an instant, finding that Yuuji is already attacking. His hits are seemingly invisible, so he must be relying on Shrine. The curse’s eyes glow even brighter — a deep, blood red — as it raises its arms into the air, sword and noose at the ready.
Gritting his teeth, Megumi crashes his hands together, quickly forming the shape of a dog in his shadow. Totality emerges right behind him. He can feel its breathing on the back of his neck as it stands, a low growl rumbling from its throat. Its claws scrape the ground as it waits for the first order.
Then a blast of wind hits him in the face, sent from the force of its sword as the curse attempts to block Yuuji’s attack. It knocks Megumi back, causing him to land flat against Totality’s chest as he rights himself, and he can hear Sora cry out to his left. He looks for her as she begins to stand, using the deer for stability.
This thing is really powerful. It can cut into the earth with little to no trouble, and its swings are strong enough to throw Megumi off balance. The only thing that seems to be working for him is the fact that its movements are slower than his and Yuuji’s, and if they can attack it fast enough, it won’t be able to block them all.
Megumi sends Totality to his right in order to round the curse, travelling in the shadows of the trees undetected. Meanwhile, he runs to Sora, who’s standing upright and beginning her attack. Her arms are raised, brows furrowed as sweat gleams from her forehead. She’s concentrated solely on the curse as a wave of needles shoot towards it, just barely glinting in the light. They land, piercing the cloth and into its flesh, and the curse wails again, directing its attention on her.
It’s too far to use its sword, so it raises its left hand instead. The noose swings in the air, frayed and glowing with cursed energy. As it brings its arm down, the rope follows, almost like a whip, and Megumi grabs Sora by the arm to pull her out of the way.
She yelps as Round Deer places itself in line with the attack. The cursed energy around it dissipates, but the rope still comes down — hard and fast. Megumi quickly cancels his shikigami just as the hit connects with the deer’s body, now only a black shadow that pours to the ground like water no longer able to hold its shape. The rope hits the grass next to them with a hard thud that kicks up dust into the air.
Before the curse can pull it back, however, Yuuji runs up to it, grabbing the rope as Cleave activates, causing it to fray and snap as he takes the noose into his hands.
“Sora, Megumi, get back!” he orders, his gaze still set on the curse. Raising his arm, his fist begins to glow as he imbues the rope with his own cursed energy, bringing it down with as much force as he can, yelling as he lashes at it.
The rope strikes the curse in the arm, and it roars loud enough that the trees and earth begin to shake. Megumi pulls Sora away, summoning his deer once again, and tells her to stay with it.
“Keep attacking, but if its attention turns on you, hold onto the deer’s neck, and it’ll run away with you, got it?” he asks desperately.
Sora nods, and he runs off before she can say anything else.
Glancing to the side, he sees Totality, waiting for an order. While the curse is distracted by Yuuji, he commands it to attack, watching as it charges from the cover of trees, leaping high into the air. Its claws rake down the curse’s right arm, tearing into its flesh.
Dark, purple blood oozes from the wound, giving it more shape and making it easier to look at. Totality’s claw gets hooked in its skin on the way down, pulling it from the muscle as the curse wails in pain, reaching with its free hand to swat at its attacker.
Totality growls, ripping its paw away. More skin breaks as blood continues to gush, and the shikigami lands on the ground in a huff, charging in once more.
Megumi runs to Yuuji’s side, who now has one end of the rope wrapped around his hand, the other end floating in the air, glowing with cursed energy. The ground continues to rumble as Megumi sees another glint of needles flying through the air.
“Totality won’t be able to dodge it forever,” Megumi says, watching as the curse heals itself. Of course it can.
“Then we keep hitting it,” Yuuji growls as he reels his arm back for another strike.
The rope hits the curse in the neck, cursed energy burning, grabbing its attention. Its eyes glow, shifting focus from Totality to Yuuji. Just as he begins to pull back, a dark hand reaches up and catches the end of the noose, and it’s suddenly pulled taut, as both Yuuji and the curse fight for the rope.
Yuuji grits his teeth, tightening his fist, and activates Cleave again.
Megumi watches as the noose practically explodes and the force of Yuuji’s technique travels all the way to the curse until blood bursts from its hand. It rains down, pouring out of scattered cuts. Not enough to sever any limbs, but enough to make it pull away in retreat.
The curse’s eyes continue to burn, looking right at Yuuji, and then its position begins to shift.
It moves slowly, untangling itself, darkness shifting against the rest of the world. Everything around them trembles, shaking Megumi to his core, as the curse begins to stand. It’s as bad as an earthquake — violent and destructive. He glances to Sora, who’s holding onto the deer with her eyes squeezed shut as the trees around her shake so violently that sticks and limbs begin to break off.
The moment the curse’s foot hits the ground, everything stops.
Yuuji looks up at it, taking a hesitant step back as he faces the Fudo Myo, and to Megumi’s right, Sora clings to his deer, a horrified expression painted across her face. A false god stands before them, slowly mending its own flesh, sword in hand, and it towers over them, imposing, as it stares down. Like they’re nothing more than ants trying to face it.
All the damage they’ve done doesn’t matter now that it’s healed itself.
“How are we supposed to take this thing?” Yuuji asks — more to himself than anyone else. The look in his eye is desperate and dark.
This attack strategy isn’t working now. They’re going to have to shift gears.
Megumi crouches down, reaching into his shadows. “We need to disarm it.”
His gaze never leaves the curse as his hand closes around the hilt of a sword. It’s strange and mechanical, with a protruding handguard that branches from the blade. It’s a powerful sword, one that he doesn’t usually have, but right now, he needs it.
Dragon-Bone.
It’s the strongest sword in his shadows, currently. It technically belongs to Maki, but when she’s not using it, he carries it for her. Even though they’re both running and restoring the Zen’in clan, she doesn’t trust them enough to store it in the warehouse, and they’re more likely to be near each other than she is to be near the clan when she needs it. It has an unconventional design, made to accumulate cursed energy and eject it back out with extreme force, which makes its slashes more powerful than normally possible.
Megumi thanks his cousin silently, and — Tengen — he hopes that it’s strong enough to cut into the curse’s flesh. Maki would probably kill him if he came back to her with a broken sword. Still, the curse is lurking before them, wielding its own sword, and he can’t just stand there while Yuuji, Sora, and Totality continue to attack.
Something about it has changed. Its presence is more threatening than before, and something tells him it’s a lot angrier than before.
Fuck.
As Megumi begins to stand, pulling Maki’s sword with him, the blade rises from the shadow. It’s longer than the sword he usually uses. Heavier, too.
“Are you going to try to fight it, close combat?” Yuuji asks incredulously, almost yelling.
“It’s standing now, and a sword is the only weapon it has,” Megumi argues back. He gives his own sword a few good swings to get used to the feeling of it in his hand. “If it wants to attack us with it, it’s going to have to get closer. I need to be able to block it if I can’t dodge.”
“I don’t have a good feeling about this, Megumi,” Yuuji says, his voice dark. He looks over at Sora, who’s using the deer for cover to hide. She stopped attacking it the moment it touched the ground. “I’m worried about her.”
Megumi sighs, knowing the stress he’s under. Yuuji always likes to shoulder everything alone — thinking that he has to. He wants to protect Sora and Megumi, and he’ll die to make it happen.
“I ordered the deer to protect her,” Megumi replies, a bit softer than before. “That’s not changing. As long as it’s summoned, it’ll stay by her side. We should just keep its attention off of her.”
Yuuji presses his lips together and nods. “Yeah, well…”
He shifts his position and widens his stance. Inhaling deeply through his nose, his arms raise in front of him, hands coming together to a point, as he stares down the curse.
“Let’s distract it then,” he says, exhaling from his mouth as blood shoots from the tips of his fingers.
It cuts through the air in a perfect, direct stream, hitting the curse square in its chest. The cloth that drapes over its body tears, and one of the necklaces breaks, causing beads to fly everywhere. Slowly, Piercing Blood starts to cut through its skin, too, but it’s not enough.
Megumi clenches his jaw in frustration as the curse roars, running at them. On the ground, it’s much faster. It barrels towards Yuuji, who breaks his stance to run, and it’s like everything happens in slow motion.
The curse’s sword cuts through the air, a sharp glare on its face. Yuuji bolts to the left, only barely dodging the attack as the blade sinks into the ground. Megumi can feel the earth tremble beneath him, the force of the cut itself ricocheting within the ground, and the feeling of it echoes deep in Megumi’s chest.
It’s violent, jarring, making his stomach tighten as it hums throughout his entire body.
Yuuji rounds the curse, and Megumi moves, ducking low as Totality leaps over him in the air. It growls, baring its teeth, and swipes at its flesh. Megumi already knows that Totality’s claws can damage the curse, but the problem is that the curse knows it, too.
It dodges, raising its fist in the air, intent on striking back. Megumi is prepared to cancel Totality’s summon when the curse’s wrist suddenly explodes with blood, as a clean line cuts straight through its flesh. Yuuji stands on the other side of the curse from Megumi, huffing and glaring at its hands.
Dismantle.
It offsets the curse just momentarily, but it’s enough for Megumi to run after it, bringing Dragon-Bone up into the air. Up close, the curse is nearly twice his height, fist still raised, eyes filled with malice. Red as blood.
Totality runs with Megumi, roaring as it attacks, and Megumi reaches the curse’s legs, grabbing his sword with both hands and swinging it as hard as he can. Cursed energy ejects from the back of the blade, pushing it forward and right into its thigh. Blood flows freely from the wound, a deep gash of sickly, rotten flesh. The curse finds his eyes in an instant, rushing to bring its sword down, and Megumi opens his shadow, letting himself fall into the ground.
It’s always strange to travel like this. Nothing but darkness and a thick, murky feeling as his shadows wash over him. Like water rushing all around. He can see the shape of the world, but it’s all dark and black. There are thin outlines — barely noticeable, similar to Hitori’s threads — that trace shapes like line art on a page, and as he moves, it almost feels like he’s swimming through the world. Traveling is a lot faster this way, but Megumi sacrifices his hearing in here, as everything around him becomes muted and muffled. Above him, the sword hits the ground, and despite the fact that he’s in his shadow, he can still feel its power.
Fuck, this thing is really strong.
But he’s been thinking about its attacks and its reaction time, and he thinks there might be a way to take it out. It won’t exactly be easy, and it’ll take a calculated and timed attack, but it could work. Megumi looks for Yuuji, finding the faint outline of him, and rises from his shadow.
“I have a plan,” he says, standing back up.
Yuuji jumps a bit, startled as he turns around, and mumbles, “I hate when you do that.”
Megumi lets out a small laugh and moves next to him. “You only hate it when I appear behind you.”
“That’s why I hate it,” he huffs, but there’s a small, teasing quirk of a smile on his lips. Turning back to the curse, his gaze darkens. “What’s your plan?”
Megumi watches as the curse’s leg starts to mend itself. Skin stretches and pulls over flesh, coming together as the blood stops flowing. Fully healed once more. The curse faces them, glaring, and begins to prepare for another attack.
“Let’s try to attack it all at once,” he says, raising his sword. “The curse can heal itself with cursed energy, and its reaction time is extremely fast. If it’s like when I tamed Round Deer, then I think we just need to kill it before it can heal. Totality and I will run at it, you can use Dismantle or Piercing Blood, and maybe if one of us can strike it in the head…”
Yuuji hums and nods in understanding. “Yeah. Let’s do it.”
Megumi calls Totality to him, looking back at Sora and Round Deer, who stand among the trees, doing their best to stay hidden from the curse’s view. It’s hard, if it really can see at all angles, but it seems to be angrier at Megumi and Yuuji, and he wants to keep it that way. The deer’s coat still shines like a beacon, but if anything, Megumi’s grateful, because it makes it easier to keep an eye on them.
He looks back at Yuuji, silently asking if he’s ready, and they both nod together.
Ready as they’ll ever be.
Megumi and Totality run at the curse as a beam of blood whizzes past his face. His hair whips from the force of the attack, and he watches as Piercing Blood cuts into the curse’s neck. It rages, trying to block it with its sword.
The screams are loud and piercing, like knives cutting into Megumi’s ears, and he grits his teeth as he reaches the curse with Totality. Brows furrowing, he raises his sword, and they both go to strike.
Megumi aims for its Achilles tendon, watching as blood splatters across the grass with the force of the blade. Totality hits it in the chest, its claws tearing deep into the curse’s skin as it drags its paw down. The curse stumbles, unable to catch itself, and Yuuji runs up to it, yelling, his fists glowing with cursed energy as he knocks it back with a fierce punch.
The curse hits the ground with a hard thud. Dirt flies everywhere, blocking Megumi’s vision, but he doesn’t need it. He knows where the curse landed, and he just needs to bring his sword down.
Raising it high in the air, he flashes back to the subjugation ritual — the feeling of a blade cutting through living, moving flesh. His brows pinch, holding the hilt with both hands above his head, letting cursed energy guide his movements as it rushes down.
The curse locks eyes with him in an instant, and the next thing he knows, its sword is blocking his attack. The force of two opposing blades reverbs all the way from his hands, up his arms, and straight to his chest, and the force knocks him back, throwing him into the air with a cry.
He flies towards the trees, quickly bringing his arms up to shield his face as branches whip and cut into his skin. His uniform tears, and he hits the ground so hard that it’s difficult to breathe. Megumi gasps, his heart racing, as he tries to catch his breath. It’s not enough to take him out, but he’s winded, and his vision goes hazy when he tries to stand. A stinging pain sears in his face, and when he touches his cheek, he finds blood on his fingers. Great.
Groaning, Megumi stands back up, canceling Totality’s summon. He doesn’t want to worry Yuuji, but everything hurts, and he’d rather focus on maintaining Round Deer than anything else. A quick once-over tells him that the arms of his uniform are torn and there are some missing patches from the legs and torso. Cold air stings against his skin, and it does nothing to help the various cuts and forming bruises from his fall.
Despite his pain, he needs to get back into the fight. This is nothing compared to his other missions, so he starts to look for Dragon-Bone, which was knocked from his hands when he hit the ground, and finds it lying in a pile of dead leaves and broken branches.
Distantly, Yuuji yells, and it immediately catches Megumi’s attention. He whips his head back to the fight and sees Yuuji moving in a flurry of attacks. Somewhere in the chaos, the curse has righted itself, and it counters and dodges with ease, each hit being blocked and echoing loudly off the curtain walls.
How the fuck is it moving so quickly?
Megumi wasn’t expecting the curse to block his strike so easily. Not when it was on the ground like that. When it first appeared and attacked, its movements were slow, like a giant trying to make up for its size. Now, all of the sudden, it can move like that? It can keep up with Yuuji’s speed and force, all while taking on Megumi and Totality?
This is a Special Grade — that’s no doubt — but this curse exists on another level. It’s not like those finger bearers back from their first year. It’s not even like the disaster curses they once fought in Shibuya. This curse is much stronger.
Megumi grits his teeth as he rushes back to Yuuji, who’s still managing to hold his own in the fight. He’s such a force of nature on the battlefield — moving with quick, precise timing, every strike being intentional and calculated. It’s not the same sort of calculating that Megumi does when he fights. Yuuji acts off of instinct so refined that it looks like there’s careful thought behind it, but his technique is something more akin to an old sensei — where fighting is second nature, and he just knows where to hit and when.
He dodges each of its attacks, trying to knock it to the ground, and, for a moment, it’s almost like he has it. The curse is acting more defensively, and Yuuji’s strikes are too quick and fast for it to react properly. Megumi reaches just as his fist connects with its shoulder, and the curse flies back into the trees. Then a second, delayed hit knocks it even further back.
“Fuck, are you okay, Megumi?” Yuuji asks, rushing over to him.
Megumi rolls his shoulders and meets him in the middle. “I’m fine. Sorry.”
Yuuji is still worried, adrenaline pumping through his veins. He grabs Megumi’s arm, his grip a little too tight, as he quickly looks over Megumi and each of his wounds. The feeling of Reverse Cursed Technique washes over him — a soft, warm feeling. Like sitting by a small fire at night. It’s a slow-moving feeling. Yuuji is still getting the hang of applying it to other people, but he’s been learning under Ieiri, and he’s doing a good job. Still, even as he heals Megumi’s cuts, he rambles.
“I was worried when Totality disappeared, and I thought that you got hurt really bad, but then I could still see Sora and the deer, so I thought that maybe that meant that you were okay, but I just—”
Megumi offers him a small smile and places a chaste kiss on his cheek. “I’m okay.”
Yuuji stares at him, face flushing, and nods. “Right.”
“I don’t know where the curse ended up, but we probably shouldn’t wait for it to come back out,” Megumi says, turning back to the trail of broken trees where Yuuji had sent it flying. Just to the right, Sora still hides with Round Deer, crouched low to the ground. He nods to her. “Let’s make sure she’s okay first.”
Yuuji follows his gaze and nods, too. There’s a glare in his eye, like he’s not quite out of fight-or-flight mode yet, but as soon as he sees Sora, it seems to dim. “Yeah, okay.”
They run over to her, finding her trembling as she clings to the deer’s body. She’s cold to the touch, frightened, and there are tears streaking her face. As soon as they reach her, she immediately stands, apologizing.
“Itadori— I— fuck— I’m sorry,” she cries, grabbing both of their arms. “I kept trying to attack it, but I’m not strong enough. My technique wasn’t doing anything against it, and I—” she inhales sharply, “It’s so powerful, and—”
“Sora,” Yuuji says softly. He brushes the side of her face and pulls her in close, shushing her. “Stop. It’s okay. We don’t expect you to do more than what you can handle. We’re just glad you’re safe.”
Sora sobs into Itadori’s shirt, clinging to him as he hugs her. Megumi stands close by, as if to shield her. He can see the guilt eating away at her, telling her that she should be doing more, but the truth is that she shouldn’t even be here in the first place. If anything, it makes Megumi feel like a failure. Yuuji’s probably kicking himself internally, too.
They’ve failed her. Megumi and Yuuji. The board. Her parents. Everyone.
“Where’s the curse at?” Sora asks, pulling away a bit to look around. Her eyes are widened with fear, panicked, as they scan the forest. Even still, under Yuuji’s touch, she trembles.
“Yuuji knocked it back, just that way,” Megumi says, gesturing in the direction it was hit. “It hasn’t come back out.”
“We wanted to make sure you were doing alright before we went after it,” Yuuji adds. “Are you okay?”
Sora sniffles and nods.
“I’m okay,” she says. Turning to Round Deer, she adds, “Your deer is really nice.”
Megumi huffs out a small laugh and reaches over to rub its snout. The deer snorts a bit, leaning into his touch, and despite the fact that its coat looks nearly metallic, it’s soft and warm, too. Looking at him, its eyes are brown and wide, kind looking. “Yeah, it is.”
“Are you going to be okay for right now?” Yuuji asks.
“Yeah,” Sora breathes, swallowing, like she needs to convince herself a bit more. “I’ll be alright.”
“I’m going to keep the deer with you, okay?” Megumi says. “It’ll protect you and heal you, if you get hurt.”
“Right,” she replies, reaching to run her hand along its fur. “Thank you, Fushiguro-san.”
Megumi nods at her and looks at Yuuji. “Are you ready?”
Yuuji presses his lips together and takes one more look at Sora before stepping away. It’s clear that he hates to leave her behind, but she can’t take part in this fight. No matter what grade the board may think she’s at, she just can’t handle something like this. Even with Megumi and Yuuji there to support her.
“Yeah, let’s end this thing,” Yuuji says.
Everything around them feels quiet. It’s too quiet for what Yuuji did, and they know that his punch didn’t kill the curse. It’s lurking in the forest, somewhere, waiting for an attack, and its cursed energy is so strong that there’s no one place that Megumi can pinpoint it to. They start slow, walking away from Sora, intent on following the path left behind.
Megumi is prepared to summon Totality again to track it when something erupts in the distance. It’s incredibly loud — something like an explosion as light flares and bounces off of the curtain walls. The world around them loses its purple tint, replaced with a deep orange glow, and the forest bursts into flames.
Megumi and Yuuji crouch defensively, looking all around them. The fire roars in every direction, raging and reaching up into the air like it’s a living, breathing thing. Everything immediately turns hot, the air becoming thick and sharp, and Megumi only breaks from his shock when he hears Sora screaming.
She’s clinging to Round Deer, surrounded by fire. The cover of the trees was perfect for her before, but now, it’s trapped her. Even as Megumi peers through the flames, it’s difficult to tell if there’s a safe exit for her, and the fire is only growing stronger.
“Sora!” Yuuji cries, running towards her — right for the open flames.
Megumi stops him, grabbing him by the arm, yelling, “Yuuji, wait!”
But Yuuji is in full panic mode, and he tugs back, spinning around, screaming in his face, “Megumi, stop! I have to get her out of there!”
Megumi fights him, countering, “You need to stop! The fire’s too strong!”
“Well, what the fuck do you suggest we do?!” he demands, desperation clear in his tone.
“Let me try this,” Megumi asks, meeting his eyes. It brings Yuuji pause, and, slowly, he stops fighting back.
Megumi turns to the fire, willing the deer to crouch low to the ground. As a shadow forms, he lets himself fall back into his own shadow, rushing towards Sora as fast as he can. The flames that surround her create a lot of light, but if Round Deer can create just enough of an opening, he can grab her and pull her away.
Everything around him is dark, but the outline of the fire dances across his vision. It’s such a violent optical illusion, making it hard to look at, but he keeps his eyes focused on the shape of Sora’s frame, huddled over the deer, coughing into its hide. Megumi reaches up for her, his hand breaching the surface of his shadow, immediately feeling the hot air of the forest, and he grabs onto her hand.
Sora screams, scared by the sudden contact, but before she can react, Megumi pulls her down with him, canceling his deer’s summon. He’s never had someone travel through his shadows like this before. Yuuji and Maki have both reached into them for weapons and supplies in the past, but they’ve never been in them or in his domain. Megumi makes sure to cling to Sora’s hand, so as not to lose her, and when he reappears at Yuuji’s side with her, he’s immediately checking to see if she’s okay.
“Holy shit,” Yuuji says, crouching down to her. His hands hover over her shoulders as he examines her for any burns or injuries. “Shit, are you okay?”
Sora is breathing like she might pass out, her chest rising and falling in quick, short breaths. She looks terrified and a little disoriented. Megumi knows that feeling a little too well. When he first started to use his shadow to travel, it sort of felt like he was traveling in a dream. Now that he’s used to it, he’s forgotten how dizzying it is.
“Hey,” Megumi says, squeezing her hand. “Are you okay?”
She swallows and nods as her breathing starts to slow. “Yeah, I— I just didn’t expect that, and, uh… that was really weird.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Megumi apologizes. “I just wanted to get you out of there.”
“Thank you,” she whispers. “I’m sorry, I—” a choked sob escapes, “—I’m being so useless. I don’t—”
“Sora, stop,” Yuuji orders, his voice firm. “Stop this. This isn’t your fault.”
Sora only nods again, trying not to cry, and looks at the fire. It surrounds them, burning the forest to the ground. Ash floats through the air like snow, and the curse’s cursed energy feels stronger than ever. Megumi racks his brain for any information regarding the Fudo Myo, but he doesn’t know enough about it. However, the fire has to be the curse’s doing.
As if its timing couldn’t be more perfect, the curse reappears, stomping through the fire. Its eyes reflect the light of the flames that dance through the open air, and it seems to have fully recovered from all of their previous attacks. Not only that, but it almost seems to be grinning, holding its sword high above its head.
The sword is on fire, too.
Megumi’s eyes widen as he stares at the curse, while Yuuji curses under his breath and begins to stand. Without a second thought, Megumi summons Totality and Round Deer, grabbing Sora and shoving her towards it.
“Stay with the deer!” he orders, quickly turning back to the scene.
The curse is getting closer, and there’s no cover for Sora to retreat to. He and Yuuji are just going to have to make sure that all of its attacks are directed towards them, but in this fire, it’s no guarantee.
Megumi grits his teeth, cursing, as rage fills his entire body. Hitori and Sora were meant to take this mission alone. He and Yuuji weren’t even assigned to it; they had to force their way here. The higher ups, this new board, everything about them — it’s all just one, big political joke to them. As long as they’re making money, it doesn’t matter what body hits the ground.
He’s going to kill this curse, and then he very well might kill everyone in that room.
No matter how long it takes, no matter how far he has to travel, these people should learn what it’s like to face a Special Grade before they send two students to fight one by themselves.
Retrieving Dragon-Bone, he stands next to Yuuji, in front of Sora, placing them in between her and the curse. There’s no question now. They have to kill this thing.
Totality growls next to him, waiting for a command, and all Megumi can think is kill.
“Come on, Yuuji,” he says darkly. “Let’s take care of this.”
Yuuji hums, his fists lighting with cursed energy.
The curse reaches them, glaring down, and they both charge.
It’s a frenzy of attacks and dodges. Megumi attempts to cut off its hand, but the curse moves too quickly. On the other side, Yuuji uses Dismantle to slash at the curse’s arm, but it heals immediately after. Totality roars as a distraction, charging it, and both Megumi and Yuuji go for the legs.
Yuuji drops to the ground, catching himself with his hands, sweeping with his leg, as it knocks into the curse’s ankle, throwing it off balance. Megumi swings Dragon-Bone right for its calf as it stumbles, catching in the muscle as blood explodes from the wound.
They continue their attack, ignoring the blood, ignoring the fire, blocking and dodging. The curse’s sword is too hot to be near, and it clashes with Dragon-Bone as Megumi counters, clenching his jaw from the force. It sends him back, his shoes scraping across the ground, creating a cover of dust.
For a moment, all he can see is flickering light through the dirt, and then Totality is knocked into him. They both tumble over the ground, landing next to Sora, who yelps, but Megumi doesn’t have enough time to check on her. He’s on his feet in an instant, grabbing onto Totality’s mane as it runs back into the battlefield.
He and Yuuji move together, fighting around and with each other. It’s exhausting, as it feels like they haven’t even made a dent in this curse, and they’re moving with everything they’ve got. He might have to summon another shikigami — maybe he’ll have to open his domain — he’s just not sure what it’ll take to take this thing out.
Yuuji moves in, gritting his teeth when the curse knocks him in the chest with the butt of its sword, sending him in the air. The sound it makes, metal hitting flesh, is loud and sickening. Megumi loses to instinct, his gaze following Yuuji’s path as he cries out after him, and that split-second distraction is all the curse needs.
The first thing that he registers is searing, hot pain. It flares from his neck, throughout the rest of his body. A stinging, unimaginable sensation that chokes him. He can’t even cry out as his body hits the ground, and his vision goes black. The feeling travels through his nervous system until it becomes too much to bear, and somewhere along the way, his brain starts to block it out.
Flashes of everything around him swarm in his vision. It’s impossible to think. He can feel his technique wavering, and distantly, Sora is screaming her head off. Megumi isn’t even sure what happened, but his neck is hot. It’s so hot. It’s so hot that it’s cold, and no matter how hard he tries to stand, his body won’t react.
Fuck.
He’s pretty sure his eyes are open, but they might be closed. It’s hard to tell what’s real, and the fire continues to burn around him, distorting his vision and causing light to dance in his eyes. It can’t be real, he thinks, but he’s just not sure.
Help…
There’s something glowing. A bright, warm light. It engulfs him, washing over him. Is this what death feels like? Something so quick and fleeting. All it takes is the quick turn of a head, and Megumi’s life ends. Just like that.
“—uro-san!”
It’s Sora’s voice. Distant and foggy.
A figure hovers over him. Huh, his eyes must be open after all.
“Fushiguro-san!” she cries again.
It’s clearer now. Megumi’s senses start to come back to him, and he blinks, slowly, as the world begins to take shape once more. Sora’s in his face — her expression filled with terror as her eyes dart across him. Her gaze settles on his neck, lightly touching him, and Megumi can only barely feel the sensation.
“Oh my god—” she says, her voice cracking. A light sob escapes her lips, and she covers them with her hands. They’re covered in blood and ash. “Oh my god. I thought I didn’t make it in time. Your deer— it— I thought—”
“Sora,” he croaks, the energy slowly coming back to him. After a moment, he remembers where he is, and he sits up urgently. “Fuck, Yuuji—”
“He’s fighting the curse,” she interrupts, holding her hands out to stop him. “Oh my god. When he got hit, you— the curse struck you, and— oh my god. It was awful—”
Megumi looks down at himself, seeing the neck of his uniform torn, singed at the edges. It’s hot to the touch, and even his undershirt has been ripped, too. Blood coats the fabric, darkening it, and—
He reaches up, touching his neck. The skin is rough, tender. It’s a familiar feeling. The same kind he first felt when he realized that he had marks on his face. He had stood in front of the mirror for what felt like hours then, letting his fingers trace lightly over the scars — proof that he didn’t make it out of Shinjuku unharmed. A reminder of what happened. What he allowed to happen.
Megumi doesn’t know what to say as he feels the skin across his neck, dipping down to his collar bone and back up to his jaw. Another mark. There’s a phantom sensation of pain, and he remembers how close to death he felt.
“What—”
A loud crash cuts through the air, and they both look back at the fight. Yuuji has Dragon-Bone as he attempts to fight the curse. His eyes are burning with rage. Revenge. His teeth are clenched, every strike sends a force of air, and he doesn’t stop moving. Tengen, he doesn’t stop moving.
“The curse’s sword is on fire, and it— I think it cauterized the cut, but…” Sora trails off, still staring at Megumi’s neck. Her bottom lip trembles, and he realizes that this is the first time she’s ever seen him or Yuuji struggle. He can’t imagine what that must be like for her. “I rushed to you, and your deer started fading, but it managed to— fuck, that’s still a nasty scar.”
Megumi’s fingers run along the skin, finding where it smooths and where it roughens. It seems to only stretch from his jaw down to his collarbone. It’s a miracle he wasn’t beheaded, and the flames cauterizing the wound definitely helped him from bleeding out.
He got lucky.
“That’s okay, Sora,” Megumi says, starting to stand. She follows him, holding her arms out like he’s going to fall, but he manages. “Thank you.”
“Are you going back out there?” she asks incredulously, staring at him like he’s grown another head. “There’s no way.”
“I have to,” he insists. “I feel fine now. Just a bit sore. Reverse Cursed Technique healed me.”
Sora looks back at Yuuji and the curse, then at Megumi. She’s hesitant for a moment, but then she says, “I want to fight, too.”
Megumi stops, looking down at her. “Sora…”
“I can’t just sit there and watch you two risk your lives like that!” she argues. “You nearly died, and I would have just watched it happen! I’m not doing that.”
“Sora, this thing is extremely powerful and dangerous,” Megumi says. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”
She shakes her head. “No, I’ll try to keep my distance and stay away from it, but even if I can provide a distraction, I want to help. You’re doing everything to protect me. It’s the least I can do.”
Megumi presses his lips together, thinking. He knows that, realistically, he can’t bench her, but he hates the idea of her putting her life at risk. But, at this point, is there really anything else that he should expect her to do?
“Fine,” he concedes. “But you stay away from it. Got it?”
She nods, running to the edge of the clearing.
Everything around them is still on fire, but it continues to travel and spread away from where they’re at. Megumi summons his deer again, sending it off with her, but he doesn’t have the energy to summon Totality, so he instead searches in his shadows for another weapon.
He pulls out the familiar sword he had with him for his subjugation ritual. It might not be as strong as Dragon-Bone, but he can hopefully reinforce it with enough cursed energy to do some damage. Yuuji is still fighting with the curse, but it’s clear he’s starting to get a bit overwhelmed, as it just keeps raining down on the attacks. No matter what he uses — Dismantle, Piercing Blood, Supernova — it’s all blocked and does little damage to the curse.
“Yuuji!” Megumi yells, running towards him.
For a brief second, Yuuji blocks a sword strike and looks back at him. “Megumi, fuck!”
He dips and rounds the blade, his hand clasping around the curse’s arm as he activates Cleave. A network of cuts forms up its arm, causing its blood to burst and rain down. Just as the curse moves to hit back, one of Sora’s needles lands right in its eye. It staggers back, both hands flying to its face, and Yuuji breaks away.
“Shit, Megumi, are you okay?” he asks, running over.
“I’m okay now,” Megumi replies, touching the skin of his neck. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Fuck, me neither,” Yuuji breathes. “I thought—”
He chokes, and that’s when Megumi sees it. The faint shine of tears in his eyes. The look of pain on his face. Megumi nearly died in front of Yuuji, and he surely blames himself for it. His expression is hardened, a fine mask that covers the panic settled beneath it.
“I’m okay now,” Megumi says softly. “I’m sorry.”
“What happened to ‘if you die, I’ll kill you’?” Yuuji chokes out, a small, sarcastic laugh quickly following.
Megumi huffs and rolls his eyes, smirking a little. “It’s still on the table.”
They turn back to the curse, still attempting to block Sora’s attacks. She glares with every hit, and something about her technique seems more powerful than normal. It’s more focused and determined, and each needle that lands is bigger than the last, glowing with a deep purple color, the poison working its way into the curse’s body.
She’s becoming stronger.
They charge back in, Megumi’s sword glowing with cursed energy. It reminds him a bit of how Okkotsu would fight with his katana, and he tries to think back to different strategies he used to optimize his attacks.
Both Megumi and Yuuji reach it at the same time, swinging their swords at the curse. It hits back with just as much force, but they keep moving. When he can, Yuuji continues to use his techniques, often activating them at the same time as his strikes, and it’s like watching two different machines working perfectly at the same time.
Honestly, it’s a bit hard to keep up, but Megumi does so anyway. They attack together, and at times, they attack in conjunction with Yuuji’s technique — often Dismantle. Blood coats their uniforms, splattering across Megumi’s face and arms. Bits of his jacket fly off, tattered and burnt, but he pays it no mind.
They just need to keep hitting it.
Sora’s needles continue to sink into its flesh, causing the curse to rage more, because it just can’t dodge them all. Megumi and Yuuji don’t let up though. They continue to move in and out of its range, striking and cutting and hitting. Megumi dips into his shadows when he can’t move fast enough, and he comes back out on the other side.
It’s getting weaker; he can tell. The curse’s movements are lagging, and the attacks just keep coming at it. This is no time for Megumi to slow down, and he glares as he runs at it, jumping as high as he can, using as much cursed energy as his sword can handle, to cut through its shoulder.
Its left arm hits the ground, dissolving away in that black, wispy smoke that tells him it’s not coming back. The curse roars, the fire around them growing hotter with its rage, but Megumi still internally celebrates the win. His blade is strong enough when paired with his cursed energy. If he can just land a hit on its neck or head, then maybe that’s how he kills it.
The curse continues its wails. The ground begins to shake as Megumi takes a step back, but its eyes are locked completely onto him. Yuuji tries to attack while it’s distracted, but the problem is that this curse has no back side.
There is no surprising it.
And Megumi can only watch as the curse swings around with such speed that it’s almost like a blur. It sweeps its leg, striking Yuuji in the side, and he goes flying into the fire.
“Yuuji!” Megumi screams. He runs to the edge of the clearing, away from the curse, glaring into the fire as Sora continues to distract it. Maybe he should try to summon Totality or Nue — maybe even Max Elephant, as its water would surely put out the fire — but he curses. He still feels so weak, and he can’t say for certain that he has the cursed energy to sustain that and his deer.
Fuck, he still needs to see if Yuuji is okay though. He would be running out of the fire by now, if he was, but there’s nothing. No sign of him.
Megumi bares his teeth as wild rage erupts within him, returning to the fight. He feels like a feral, gnarled dog. This is a fight to the death, but it won’t be him going down. His voice is nothing but a growl as he lowers his stance, like a predator ready to attack its prey, and he charges at the curse.
Every hit isn’t strong enough. Each move isn’t fast enough. Megumi is pushing his body past his limits as he continues to think faster, stronger, more. Even with one arm, the curse counters his strikes, but he keeps moving forward anyway. It has no choice but to continue back, and every step that Megumi takes, he feels the power surging in him.
It’s blind and wild — the way that he moves — no longer thinking about what might work or what move to do, Megumi fights with everything he has. No time for second thoughts or precise calculations. He just needs to fight. To kill.
Another needle whizzes past, and this time, the poison explodes. It erupts under the curse’s flesh, only adding to the attack, and Megumi continues his rampage with every hit. A part of him is surprised that he’s managed to force it back this far, but he doesn’t have time to focus on that. He needs to kill this thing and save Yuuji.
Megumi falls into his shadow, leaping at the curse from another angle. It reacts in time to kick him away, winding him, but as he rolls across the ground, he uses the momentum to right himself. Skidding back, hand on the ground, he pushes himself up and runs at the curse.
Then Sora screams.
Megumi pauses and searches wildly for her in the chaos. Fire rages around him, but he can only see the shape of the curse.
But it’s not focused on him.
It only takes a second for him to realize that this was all a distraction.
“Sora!” he calls out, rushing back. Megumi runs, but he was knocked too far away. Fuck! He’s too far away.
Even if he travels in his shadows, will he be fast enough to reach it? If he opened a domain, would it stop the curse just in time?
It stands over her like a towering deity, powerful and unforgiving. He can see its eyes glowing. Something like wrath. Something like victory. It was purposefully letting him push it back. Each strike was real, but this was its plan all along. Every injury sustained was worth it, leading it to this single moment. Picking them off. One by one.
Flames dance across the blade of its sword, raised to the air like something to be worshipped. Showing off. Letting Sora see, as if it’s telling her, this is how you die, by my hand, before it brings its arm down.
Round Deer places itself in between the curse and Sora, using Reverse Cursed Technique with such a strong output that it cancels the flames, but there’s nothing it can do to stop the blade. Megumi can’t cancel his summon either, letting Sora take the hit instead of his shikigami. He runs to her, but even now, he can tell that he’s not fast enough. Tengen, he still has to try though. All he can think is please. Please, please, please.
Please be faster.
Please be stronger.
Please don’t let her die.
He said he’d get her back.
Everything moves entirely too fast and too slow at the same time. The flash of the sword, the blinding coat of a protective stag, and Sora’s horrific scream as death flickers before her eyes. The sound reaches Megumi’s ears faster than he could ever reach her, and it’s a sound that he knows will stick with him forever.
Nothing but terror.
The sound of a teenage girl, facing the end of her life.
Just as Megumi reaches her, however, there’s something else. A brief streak of wind, something too fast for him to register, and a loud crash — sparks flying from metal hitting metal — and then he’s there.
Uniform smoking and torn; one sleeve gone, the other ripped at the elbow; torso half-exposed, as the rest of the jacket ripples in the wind from the force of the block.
Itadori Yuuji stands there, Dragon-Bone in hand, stopping the curse’s blade.
And for one moment — just a moment — Megumi smiles.
Relief washes over him, knowing that Yuuji is okay. He’s covered in some superficial cuts, but otherwise, he seems fine. Tengen, he’s fine. Megumi can only stare, stopped in place, in complete awe of the man — no, the sorcerer — before him.
But the other shoe still has to drop.
The strength of the sword. An unstoppable force meeting an unmovable object. All of that inertia has to go somewhere, and it ejects so strongly that it knocks all of them back. Like the shockwave of a bomb, every single thing is cast away from that point.
The curse flies back into the air, Yuuji is sent towards Round Deer, Sora hurtles into the trees, and Megumi barrels to where he was just coming from. He rolls across the ground, unable to do anything more than curl into himself, doing his best to protect his face and body.
When he finally lands, he’s meters away from where he was just standing, hitting the ground flat on his back. It’s so strong that it winds him on impact, feeling dirt and ash kick up around him. As everything begins to settle, he coughs and groans, slowly sitting up.
It’s so much quieter now — seemingly peaceful — and through the dust, he notices that the forest is no longer on fire. Tengen, was Yuuji’s block really so strong that it put all of the flames out? He tries to squint through everything, making out vague shapes of broken trees and debris. Stumbling forward, Megumi makes his way back to everyone, allowing his deer to slowly dematerialize. Already, it feels like a weight off of his shoulders, and he continues to stagger on.
What he finds, however, is no relief.
It is nothing good nor calming.
The silence of this world is no longer peaceful. It screams at him. Deafening and maddening. Filled with guilt and anger and remorse. It gnaws at the edges of Megumi’s heart, darkening him, blinding him, eating him alive.
He stands over the broken body of a small dove, laid out at the base of a tree that he had just taken shelter behind when this fight first started. There’s a large crack, an open split, that travels up the trunk, formed from the force of the landing. All across it is a vicious blood spatter. Dark and red and thick.
Megumi looks down at this dove. Unmoving. Eyes closed. More blood trickles and pours from the back of her head. Her brown hair is matted in the back, stained and shining — a sick, wet look — darkened from the color. There is no sound. He looks to her chest for any rise and fall, but it’s either really faint, or—
Or it’s not there.
Another staggering step forward.
No movement.
“… Sora?” he asks, his voice weak and broken and soft.
No movement.
He crouches next to her, a shaking hand slowly finding her slender wrist, looking for a pulse.
No movement.
How unfair is it?
You train, you fight, you grow, you get strong, and yet— but then—
This is all it takes. Something so mundane. This is a girl who has fought curses, who can form needles from thin air, who can dodge, and attack, and block, and kick, and punch, and…
Die.
It’s a reminder of how fragile humans really are.
How, even with all of the cursed energy in the world, if you don’t react in time, if you don’t reinforce your body in time, you’re just human. Sorcerers are just human. One bad hit. One split in the back of the head. You land wrong, you twist wrong, you do one thing wrong, and that’s the end of your life.
Megumi grasps onto her wrist, still desperately searching for a sign of life. Tears begin to well before he can even stop himself, and the next thing he knows, he’s blinking through blurry vision, trying his best to stay focused. He calls her name, shaking her gently, trying his best to find some semblance of life, and he’s praying to—
Tengen, what should he pray to?
“Sora, please,” he whispers. So gently. So soft. “You need to make it back.”
He presses two fingers to her wrist, right on her pulse, and waits.
Nothing.
Silence.
And then…
One, faint beat.
Megumi reacts immediately. It’s so small, but it’s something. He forms the shape of Round Deer, summoning it as quickly as he can, uncaring of how much it drains him. If he can do this one thing, if he can summon this one shikigami — right here, right now — then it’ll have been worth it.
Tengen, Sora is worth it.
Round Deer huffs next to him, and as he directs it towards her body — raising her limp arm to meet the tip of its nose — its brown eyes glow into a radiant, golden color as the rest of its body continues to shine. It’s such a warm feeling, and he watches as Reverse Cursed Technique slowly mends her, the blood trickling from the back of her head beginning to fade.
He holds onto her wrist, desperately clinging, counting the seconds between pulses, until they become less and less. It’s still weak, but it’s there, and it’s proof that her heart is pumping. Megumi reaches forward, raising her chin. A bit of blood comes out of her nose, and he gently wipes it away, holding his finger just beneath her nostrils, feeling for any soft breath.
She’s breathing. Megumi lets out a relieved huff of a laugh, and — fuck — she’s breathing. He can’t help but smile, using the back of his arm to wipe away the tears, before he props her up against the tree and slowly sheds his jacket, draping it over her. It’s not perfect, and she’s still vulnerable, but she’s alive, and he has to cling to that hope. To the idea that it will be okay.
He still needs to find Yuuji. The curse is out there, the curtain is still up, and Megumi feels weaker than ever. There’s a simmering wrath beneath him as he stands, leaving the deer to continue healing Sora. The thing is that there is so much anger within Megumi right now. He feels like he’s been trapped and cornered, ready to lash out at the first thing he sees.
The board is going to pay for this. No matter what. It doesn’t matter if there are new members. It doesn’t matter if the old members don’t care. Megumi is going to make them care. He’s tired of following these orders, watching as their guiding hands point him and his friends to death. If Hitori and Sora died on this mission, they would find someone else. Again, and again, and again.
Not anymore.
He and Yuuji are going to change this. They have to change this. If more curses like this spring up in Hokkaido, if more curses of this strength continue to grow, then there has to be a better way. Megumi will tear this system apart — brick by deadly fucking brick — if he has to. He’ll watch it fall, crumbling, fading away, until something better can stand in its place.
That is his promise.
No more missions like this for Hitori and Sora, or anyone else.
That is his vow.
Megumi walks back, finding his sword on the ground. As soon as it’s in his hand, it lights up with cursed energy, then dims as small, blue flames flick from the blade — a visual representation of the rage burning within him. It’s a calm anger. The kind that moves in silence. Deadly. Cold.
The forest fire has died, and the curse’s power definitely feels weakened. Yuuji is still somewhere, but he has to be okay. Fuck, he better be okay. As he stumbles through the forest, he feels another low rumble beneath his feet. The ground starts to shake, telling him that the curse is nearby, and he prepares himself to fight this battle alone.
“Megumi!”
Yuuji’s voice cuts through his thoughts. Like a beacon of light in nothing but an endless void. Megumi didn’t even realize how tense and alone he felt until he heard that voice, but now that he knows that Yuuji is okay, he can’t help but let out a small, strangled sound.
“Yuuji!” he calls, frantically looking around.
Tengen, he needed this win.
After everything that’s happened in this fight, Megumi needed this win. Yuuji appears from a mess of debris, through broken tree limbs and scattered branches, and as soon as their eyes meet, his shoulders drop with a sigh of relief. He needed Yuuji to be okay, he needed to hear his voice, he needed to see him.
They run to each other, practically crashing into one another, but Megumi doesn’t care to lose his breath to this. He clings to Yuuji as if he can’t stand on his own, burying his face into his neck. He smells like smoke and ash, but his hair is still soft, and his grip is still strong. Yuuji holds onto the back of his head, nosing his way behind his ear, holding him like his life depends on it.
“Holy fuck, Megumi,” Yuuji breathes. Beneath his touch, he’s shaking. “I was so worried, I—”
“When you flew into the fire and didn’t come out, I thought you— fuck, you idiot,” Megumi curses, unable to let go. “I thought you were fucking dead.”
“I thought you were fucking dead after the curse cut into your neck,” Yuuji counters, his voice shaky. “Shit, Megumi, I thought— it looked— if Sora hadn’t—”
At the mention of Sora, Megumi stiffens.
Yuuji feels it immediately, and he stops.
“Sora…” he says, pulling away. His eyes are wide, hands gripping both of Megumi’s shoulders, and he asks, “Where is she?”
Megumi opens his mouth, hesitating, and the look on Yuuji’s face falls into something beyond despair. It goes beyond hopelessness and sorrow, and before he knows it, Yuuji is turning away, intent on finding her.
“She’s unconscious,” Megumi manages, grabbing his arm. “When I found her, there was a lot of blood. She hit the back of her head. Hard. At first, I— I couldn’t find a pulse—” Yuuji makes a strangled sound. “—but then I did, and I summoned Round Deer to heal her, and she was breathing again, and her pulse was steady, but— fuck. Yuuji, she’s still unconscious.”
“Where is she?” he asks again, trying to pull away.
“I left her by the tree with my deer,” Megumi answers. “It’s still working on healing her. Slowly. It’s not perfect, but it should hold us over until we can get her to Ieiri-san, and I made sure that she was sitting up and put my jacket over her. But, Yuuji, we have to take care of this curse. We have to exorcise it and get her back to the school as soon as possible.”
Yuuji clenches and unclenches his jaw, clearly thinking. Megumi already knows what’s going on in his mind — how he wants to go to Sora and check on her for himself, how he wants to defeat this curse and get her back to safety, how he wants to rage and scream and cry and unleash hell in here, under the cover of the curtain.
Megumi knows it, because he feels it, too.
“I dropped your sword somewhere in the fall,” Yuuji says, gesturing back to where he came from. “We can go look for it and then find the—”
Five things happen at once.
The first thing that happens is that the curse appears, crashing through the trees, sword in hand, fury burning from its eyes. The sword is on fire once more, glowing red and lighting up everything around them. Its other arm is still missing, but it doesn’t seem to mind, intent on moving forward, sadistic and cruel.
The second thing that happens is that it swings at Megumi and Yuuji. Flames fall from the sword, hitting the ground, catching sticks and dried leaves on fire. It leaves a trail of destruction, moving too fast for a proper reaction. Even if his reflexes were quick enough, the sword that Megumi carries would not be able to block this one, and Dragon-Bone lies in the dirt, meters away.
The third thing that happens is that Megumi freezes. He can manipulate Tengen’s barriers, so he stands there, searching for that familiar pull, that familiar hum that surrounds him in Tokyo. It’s louder here, but it’s different, too. Still, he tries. If he can do what he did before, if he can protect himself and Yuuji, then they can run and find Dragon-Bone.
The fourth thing that happens is that he realizes that this is Hokkaido. This is sacred land. Since the moment they got here, Megumi has been trying to figure out what’s different about this place, and it’s only now, standing before Death, that he knows what it is. There are no barriers in Hokkaido. Not of Tengen’s. The barriers here are ancient and natural — spiritual. That’s why Hokkaido wasn’t included in the Culling Games. That’s why Megumi can’t manipulate the barriers here. That’s why the curse is so powerful. That’s why he’s going to die.
The final thing that happens is that if anyone were to have a fast enough reaction time, it would be Yuuji. He’s unnatural to this world. Created for malice, despite the fact that it goes against everything he stands for. It’s one of the many juxtapositions that seem to make him who he is. He’s gentle, yet he’s been bred for violence. He’s brave beyond belief, yet he fears death. He’s scared of death, yet he’s selfless.
So, so selfless.
Because if anyone — anyone — could move like that, it would be Yuuji. If anyone would put themselves in harm’s way first, it would be Yuuji. If anyone would give their life, risk the entire world, just for Megumi…
It would be Yuuji.
So, five things happen at once.
The curse appears, it strikes them from behind, Megumi tries to shield them with a barrier, it doesn’t work, and Yuuji — selfless, stupid, idiotic Yuuji — shoves Megumi away.
Megumi can only watch in horror as the blade comes down on him. It’s so slow for something so fast. The blade cuts through the rest of the uniform, hitting him right in the chest, slashing diagonal — down, across his abdomen — until it comes out clean on the other side of his torso. Right above his hip.
Then Yuuji falls.
What hits Megumi first is the smell. Fuck, it’s awful.
That burnt, fleshy smell of fresh blood and high heat. The fire of the sword does to Yuuji what it did to Megumi, cauterizing his wound, but it’s not like it helps. Blood sizzles, pungent and metallic, as bits of flesh tear from his body. There’s a thin wisp of smoke, leaving a bitter scent in the aftertaste of it all. Edges of the wound are blackened and rough. A clean cut, but a nasty one.
It’s horrific to look at. A mix of red and brown. Burnt skin, sliced muscle and tendon, and raw, wet blood shines against bone. Tengen, Megumi can see his bones. The snapped, broken ribs that protrude from the cut almost look fake, and his skin begins to bubble and blister. Even as he lies on the ground, unmoving, face frozen in a twisted look of pain, organs move and writhe together. It’s as if his intestines are about to fall out of his body, the only thing keeping them in being gravity, as he lies flat on his back.
Deep red muscle and yellow, fatty tissue stare back at Megumi. It’s an evisceration, as the exposed, unburned parts of his body start to leak out of his side. His skin is too torn and shredded to hold anything in, flapping loosely in the wind like dried leather, scorned from the heat. Strings of fascia hang from it — clinging to the skin, to the muscle — tangled and webby. As if it’s meant to pull him back together.
The shock enters his body, adrenaline pumping through his veins, as he stares and weakly asks, “Megumi…?”
Megumi drops to his knees, eyes widened. He doesn’t even care about the curse anymore — how could he? — when Yuuji is right there, in front of him, injured like this. Dying. Megumi’s eyes rake over Yuuji’s body, trying to look for something that could tell him that everything will be alright, but how is he supposed to believe that? Right here, looking at him — fuck— he’s doing to die.
“Yuuji,” Megumi manages, his voice immediately cracking. He doesn’t know Reverse Cursed Technique, Round Deer is healing Sora, and Yuuji is dying. Yuuji is dying, Yuuji is dying, Yuuji is dying.
Yuuji blinks slowly, his eyes unfocused. Even now, he’s still fighting, but it’s killing him. Fuck, it’s fucking killing him.
“Yuuji, you have to use Reverse Cursed Technique,” Megumi says desperately, reaching for his hand and guiding it to his wound. “Yuuji, use it.”
He groans, straining, still in shock. At this rate, he’s going to die. Fuck, he’s going to die. The curse is still looming over him, ready to attack again, and Megumi closes his eyes, trying to figure out what move he needs to make.
If Yuuji is too weak to use Reverse Cursed Technique, then he needs to call for Round Deer. But if Round Deer isn’t done healing Sora, then who knows what that might mean for her. And if he doesn’t act right now, then it won’t matter, and that curse will kill them both.
Fuck.
Megumi squeezes his eyes shut, asking for forgiveness — from what, he doesn’t know — as he calls for Round Deer. He’ll heal Yuuji. Just enough for him to use his own Reverse Cursed Technique. Then he’ll send the deer back to Sora. That’s the plan.
His eyes open, facing the curse. It’s preparing another strike, intent on finishing this battle. Round Deer materializes next to him, glowing and warm and irradiant, and it’s touching its nose to Yuuji in an instant. His wound begins to glow, too, slowly mending as his eyes flutter shut, and Megumi has to nudge him until they’re open once more.
Then Megumi’s done.
He’s tired.
He’s so tired.
He’s scared, he’s angry, he’s bitter, he’s worried. He’s left to this fight alone, and all he knows is that this is it. This battle will end, but it will be him who comes out on top. He has to. He has to win this for Hitori, who stands on the other side of the curtain, screaming for his sister. He has to win this for Sora, who lies broken against a tree. He has to win this for Yuuji, who’s dying beneath him — his only hope being the deer at his side.
Megumi is so tired.
The higher ups did this to him. They sent him here. They told him that he couldn’t come here, then they told him that he couldn’t interfere. They tell him to do everything, and it’s never in his best interest. It’s only what’s most convenient for them. What keeps them in power.
He can’t do this.
He can’t do that.
Megumi is so tired of being told what he can and can’t do.
The board and their ridiculous, insane, deadly decisions. These politicians have no care or caution for how these missions go, and one proper assessment would have told anyone that this was a Special Grade. They could have sent Megumi and Yuuji in on this, without their students, and let them handle it. They could have fought this thing without having to worry about protecting someone else.
His chest aches as he thinks about Sora.
Fuck, is she okay?
Megumi briefly turns back, seeing that Yuuji is in much better shape than before. The wound is still open, but it’s getting better. He just needs more time. That’s the issue, isn’t it? Always time. Sora could be running out of time, too.
Yuuji’s eyes are darting around, a pained look on his face, but he seems to know what Megumi is asking because when their eyes meet, he nods. Swallowing, Megumi nods back and sends Round Deer away, back to Sora, watching as a soft glow begins to emit from Yuuji’s palm.
And Yuuji…
His heart races.
There was so much blood, and yet too little. That burnt-flesh smell still lingers in his nose, stinging his throat, reminding him that the curse is still here and Yuuji’s life is on the line.
But Round Deer saved him, and now, he can heal himself, Megumi tells himself. It’ll be fine.
Focus on the curse.
Kill it.
Don’t lose sight now.
Kill it.
No more asking questions. No more questioning yourself. You’ve spent your entire life questioning yourself, wondering where you fall. Are you a good person? Are you amoral? Will you ever stand where they stand?
Kill it.
A flash of Tsumiki. A flash of Yuuji. A flash of Gojo. A flash of everyone that Megumi has tried and failed to be, but maybe that’s his problem. He doesn’t need to be someone else. He doesn’t need to be good like Tsumiki. He doesn’t need to be unwavering like Yuuji. He doesn’t need to be strong like Gojo.
Kill it.
He just needs to be Fushiguro Megumi.
Kill it.
He always thought that it would be something beautiful. To find your sense of self. Not something like this. With everything he loves nearly taken from him. Born out of hatred and indignation. He doesn’t have time to ask who he is anymore.
Kill it.
All he knows is that he wants revenge.
Kill it.
It’s time to do something impossible.
Megumi stares at the curse, his gaze belligerent and yet, somehow, focused and calm. The curse thinks it’s going to end this, but it has it all wrong. Megumi will end this. He doesn’t care what he has to do, take, or kill. This battle will be his, and it’s almost like he knows it.
Maybe that’s why he’s so calm.
For once, Megumi knows exactly what he needs and how to get it.
“Chimera Shadow Garden…”
It’s an explosion of darkness, catching the curse by surprise, bathing it in black. One would think that it would blend right in, but Megumi knows what belongs to him and what doesn’t. He feels the familiar sensation of his domain opening, like pure, unfiltered adrenaline coursing through his veins.
His shadows expand, wild and erratic, flooding everything around him, consuming everything around him.
But he doesn’t stop.
He wants more.
For once in his life, Megumi allows himself to want. Freely. He wants to be stronger. This isn’t just something that he needs to do; he wants it. He wants to kill this curse. He wants to close his domain. He wants to attack it with everything he’s got, and he won’t stop until there’s nothing left.
And if he has to tear the world apart, then so be it.
Megumi laughs as his domain continues to pour out from behind him. It’s everything he’s used to, and yet there’s still so much more. His shadows bend and solidify, enclosing the world in darkness, and all he can think is that this is it.
Turning around, he sees the spinal notch floating behind him, branching out around him in thick, vein-like webs. They’re like nerve endings, endless and stretching, slowly following the spherical shape of his domain, twisting and writhing.
He feels powerful.
He feels more than powerful.
He feels unstoppable.
As the nerves begin to close, meeting at a point on the floor, that’s when he sees it — little, flashing lights that shoot from the top of the vertebra, travelling along the pathways like an impulse. It fires rhythmically, sparking throughout his domain, as if the vertebra itself is thinking on its own.
Megumi can feel his cursed energy replenishing, and from there, it only seems to grow. The curse stands before him, confused and disoriented, but he’s right where he needs it to be. Smiling — mad and maniacal — he charges after the curse.
Sword in hand, it glows with cursed energy, and he summons Totality, using Nue to carry him closer.
Faster.
The curse reacts, raising its sword, but the fire seems duller now.
Shame.
Megumi’s sword is already imbued with cursed energy, but he doesn’t stop there.
It’s like when he’s in his domain, he can just see so much clearer. He imbues the sword, yes, but he imbues the force of the air around it, too, creating something similar to a double strike — not unlike Yuuji’s divergent fist.
The thought of Yuuji angers him more, and he drops from Nue’s grasp, bringing his sword down with both hands as he rushes towards the curse. Totality roars, leaping after it, and he summons another, just because he can.
The curse reacts to him first, blocking his blade, but it feels weaker than before. Megumi smiles. Perfect. As he hits the ground, he falls fully into his shadow, travelling beneath the curse and reappearing with the second Totality.
They strike again, but this time, he throws his sword like a spear, still glowing with cursed energy, and he uses more to give it an extra push, sending it flying even faster. It cuts across the side of the curse’s neck, whizzing past as it slices into flesh, and before it can disappear, a hand reaches up and catches it.
It’s one of his shadow clones, now wielding the sword, charging at the curse from the other side. At the same time, Totality continues its attack, overwhelming the curse. Nue swoops down, sending a jolt of electricity throughout its body, causing the domain to light up briefly.
The curse’s sword dims even more as it slowly loses its cursed energy, and Megumi notices that the more it dims the stronger he feels. As he continues the fight, he just feels more rejuvenated than ever. It’s better than any drug he could ever imagine. The rush of power consumes him as the neurons below continue to fire.
They’re glowing brighter than ever, as the timing continues to increase in speed. Megumi feels his cursed energy growing beyond a level he’s ever experienced before, and he doesn’t quite understand it until he sees the curse, unable to mend itself, wounded and limp.
His sure-hit.
The neurons, the vertebra, his domain.
Megumi is stealing its cursed energy.
It's getting weaker in his domain, so this is how he kills it. With a flurry of attacks that it can no longer dodge and no longer heal from. Megumi smiles. He can do that.
He moves around his clone, working with it, fighting with it, throwing the sword back and forth. With each cut, more blood pours out of the curse, and the longer he keeps his domain open, the weaker it gets. He can feel himself accumulating more energy, firing in and out of the vertebra. The Atlas. If that’s what’s activating his sure-hit — the domain closing and the nerves connecting — then it must store cursed energy, too.
How much of it can it take from this curse?
All of it?
Megumi wants all of it.
He continues to attack, an endless barrage, feeling stronger than he’s ever felt before. His clone disappears into the shadows, and he cancels all shikigami in his domain, intent on landing the final hit. His sword glows hot in his hand, his cursed energy is at an all-time high, and he can’t help but feel victorious, rushing at the curse as it lays beaten and broken on the ground. He smiles as he swings his arm down, watching as it cuts through the curse’s neck with ease, disconnecting the head from the body, and he knows that there’s no coming back from that.
All neurons in his domain stop firing.
Megumi stands over what’s left of the curse as it begins to dissolve, heaving and breathing erratically, and all he can think is that he feels so good. The grip on his sword is iron-tight, and he’s pretty sure that, even if he got injured, he wouldn’t be able to feel any pain. The adrenaline is too strong, rushing through his veins.
His domain cancels, falling away, bringing light back into the world. All of his strength begins to fade, and a deep ache settles in his muscles, reminding him that he’s been moving and fighting nonstop. He also nearly died, and in the reflection of his sword, he can see the fresh, red scar that cuts in an ugly, jagged line down his throat. Megumi sighs as he stares at it, but maybe he should start seeing his scars for what they are:
Proof that he survived something impossible.
All around him, the curtain begins to fall, too. It’s like watching a bubble pop in slow motion, and despite the cold, December air, he thinks that he can see the sun. Tengen, it feels like it’s been ages since he’s seen the sun. He doesn’t know how long he’s been in here, fighting this curse, and he knows even less how long he had his domain open.
All he knows now is that he did it.
“Yuuji,” Megumi says as he starts to turn back, looking around the clearing. He didn’t expect him to join in the fight, but last he saw, Yuuji was strong enough to use Reverse Cursed Technique.
“Sora!” Hitori’s voice cuts through the air with such raw desperation that it nearly hurts.
Megumi looks back up, finding Hitori, Ijichi, and Arata running towards him.
“Hitori, Ijichi, holy fuck, guys,” Megumi breathes, nearly staggering backwards as Hitori crashing into him, hugging him tightly.
“Megumi, oh my goodness, are you alright?” Ijichi asks, reaching him. His brows are upturned, worry lines across his forehead, and there’s a nervous look on his face that won’t go away when his eyes settle on Megumi’s neck. “You’re—”
“Yes, I—” Megumi swallows, catching his breath. Fuck, he really is tired now. “I’m fine, but Sora and Yuuji, they—”
“Where’s Sora?!” Hitori demands, pulling away in an instant. “Where’s my sister?”
Megumi turns, gesturing back. “She’s back that way, but she—”
He stops.
On the ground, just a few meters away, Yuuji lies there. Unconscious. Unmoving. Wound still open and fresh. His hand is limp at his side, with no sign of Reverse Cursed Technique, and there’s a glossy, unfocused look in his eye.
Everyone follows Megumi’s gaze, and a mix of reactions can be heard. Just barely. It’s all a bit muted, to be honest, and Megumi isn’t really focused on them anymore. Ijichi gasps, Hitori cries, and Arata exhales in disbelief.
But Megumi.
Megumi slowly peels himself from Hitori, stumbling towards Yuuji, but he’s too tired, too sore, and too shocked to really make it there. Instead, he collapses at Yuuji’s side, hands shaking, and reaches for his face. His skin is warm, but it’s not warm enough, and there’s no sign of life. Megumi caresses his cheek, slowly bringing his hand down to his neck, searching for a pulse.
Nothing.
How long has he been lying like that? How long has he been dead? Is he dead?
Megumi listens for breath.
Nothing.
Megumi nudges him gently.
Nothing.
Megumi says his name — over and over again — increasing in volume every time.
Nothing.
He yells, he shakes him, he smacks him.
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
Ijichi and Arata are pulling him away in an instant, kicking and screaming, fighting with everything he has to be at Yuuji’s side, but the problem is that he just fought with everything he had, and it leaves him feeling weak.
“Arata, you have to heal him!” Megumi screams in his face, desperately looking at the man holding onto his arm. “Use your technique. Use Pain Killer. Use it now! Heal him!”
Arata stuns, his mouth ajar, searching for any word, but Megumi isn’t having anything other than a yes. He twists from his grasp, rounding his arm, grabbing Arata, and shoving him forward.
“Do it!” he orders, desperate to do anything — to try anything.
Anything to save Yuuji.
“I— Fushiguro, there’s— there’s no guarantee—” Arata stutters over his words, but he activates his technique anyway, applying it to Yuuji’s wound.
“I don’t care,” Megumi hisses at him. “You did this with Nobara. Just do it with Yuuji!”
He finishes the gesture and sits back. “I— it’s done. It’s done, Fushiguro, but I have to tell you that—”
“I know,” Megumi cuts, practically biting the words out.
There’s no guarantee.
The four of them remain there in silence, staring at the unmoving body of Itadori Yuuji. Megumi can only look at his face. His beautiful, peaceful face. He wishes he could say that it looks like he’s asleep. Megumi would give anything to be able to fool himself into believing that he’s just knocked out.
But his face is too pale. It’s not dead body pale, but it lacks that familiar, tan complexion. The light pink tint of his cheeks and nose — naturally sun-kissed. No, this isn’t Megumi’s Yuuji. Dulled and muted. This is the Yuuji that the board has created.
Formed.
Forced.
Killed.
Behind him, Hitori sniffles. “If— If Itadori-san…”
He can’t even finish the sentence.
If Yuuji looks like this, what state is Sora in?
Megumi wishes he could say for sure that he knows, but he doesn’t. He took a gamble when he summoned Round Deer to Yuuji, and it might have cost Sora her life.
It might have been for nothing anyway, and he might have just lost them both.
“She’s over here,” Megumi says, voice empty. Tengen, he never thought he could sound so hollow, but the one thing that gives him life — gives him purpose — is lying dead on the ground.
Everyone follows Megumi as he leads them to where he had left Sora behind. When Hitori sees her, he runs to her, desperate and uncoordinated, falling by her side as he tries to wake her up. She’s still breathing, seemingly healed, and her pulse is normal, but—
Megumi almost wants to laugh at the irony.
As Hitori’s cries grow louder and louder, increasing in anguish and desperation, Sora lies there. Unresponsive. She’s not a broken, little dove anymore; however, who is to say that she really is still alive? Even as her brother tries everything he can to wake her, screaming at Megumi to do something, begging him to summon his deer, pleading with Arata to apply his technique to her, too, it’s just so ironic.
Of course, Megumi would be the one to do this.
To half-save someone’s life.
He’s never been the hero that Yuuji ever is.
Was.
Sora lies there, under that tree, the stain of her blood soaking into the wood, and a part of him knows that she’ll likely never wake up.
Comatose.
And he’s the one who damned her to that fate.
MISSION DEBRIEF (summary)
Note: For the detailed report, see: File.
2021-12-09
The Fudo Myo of Biei, Hokkaido, Japan was determined to be a curse, originating from the belief of the Thirteen Buddhas and stemming from the Sapporo shrine, dedicated to Fudo Myo. How it ended up near Mount Tomuraushi is unknown, but as people from the town started to disappear, it was reported to the Board for swift action and exorcism. Its strength and power, as well as its attack and appearance, seemed to follow the common depictions of the Fudo Myo, including those that show the Fudo Myo surrounded by fire.
Three managers were sent to investigate the area and assess the curse. Two were killed on the field, and one returned, reporting its strength to the board. The curse itself did not make a physical appearance to the managers, and it was ranked as a Grade 2.
A Grade 1 sorcerer was sent to exorcise the curse and to confirm civilian and manager deaths. Contact with the sorcerer was lost, and there was no reported body. Death was originally unconfirmed. Now confirmed.
Four sorcerers were sent to exorcise the curse and to confirm civilian, manager, and sorcerer deaths. Two sorcerers, ranked Semi-Grade 1, were to be assessed on this mission for promotion. The other two sorcerers, ranked Special Grade, were sent along after grievance with the board. One Semi-Grade 1 sorcerer was pushed from the veil by the other and excluded from the fight. During the fight, two sorcerers were incapacitated, leaving one Special Grade sorcerer to fight the curse. A domain was opened, and the curse was exorcised.
Three sorcerers returned to the school with one body. No pulse or breathing reported. The technique, Pain Killer, was applied, and the body was given to Shoko Ieiri.
Origin and explanation: Confirmed
All deaths: Confirmed
Exorcism: Confirmed
Mission status: Closed
Megumi doesn’t really know when the days started to bleed together. He remembers finishing the report and talking to the board. The meeting he and Yuuji were meant to have was pushed back, following the death of a sorcerer, and all they asked for was an update from the mission.
What update was there to be had?
They had the report — both the summary and the detailed version. If they wanted to read how Itadori Yuuji died, they could open up the file on their laptops and see all of the ways that they failed Megumi and Hitori.
He supposes he should be grateful though.
Technically, Yuuji isn’t dead.
Whatever magic Ieiri had worked on Nobara after Shibuya, she did the same thing with Yuuji. When they first brought his body in, his skin was still warm, and the bleeding was held in place. Megumi was practically ready to drop to his knees, thanking Arata for his technique, when she said she was sure she could do something.
Then there was Sora. Unconscious but alive. A deep coma, but she had more hope than Yuuji did. Still, it was a lot of work, and the look on Ieiri’s face was both incredulous and horrified. Her brow immediately furrowed, a deep scowl dipping onto her face, her expression hardened, her eyes darkened, and sweat shined from her forehead.
“I need everyone to get out,” she had said, shoving them — including Megumi — away. “If you want me to save them, then I need to work.”
And Megumi and Hitori had fought, of course. They fought like hell, yelling and demanding to stay at their sides. They didn’t want to leave them alone — to the cold, stale room of the infirmary — but Ieiri wasn’t having any of it.
“If you want either of them to live, then you need to get the fuck out!” she snapped, slamming the door shut.
The hallway was silent as they all walked back. Only the sounds of their footsteps, echoing from the empty stone walls, comforted them. Megumi and Hitori had followed Ijichi and Arata back to the main building, splitting off from there.
Ijichi went to take Arata back to Kyoto, Hitori went to lie down in his sister’s room, and Megumi returned to his own dorm to stare at the empty report template on his laptop screen.
From that point forward, it was just nothing. Nothing mattered, nothing happened, nothing good had taken place. The school felt so empty and dark without Yuuji and Sora. Nobara tried her best to be there for Megumi, but even then, they both knew that it wasn’t the same.
They visited him together in the infirmary, she dragged him away from sleeping in there, they ate meals together in the cafeteria, and then they visited him again. The look on her face when she first saw Yuuji — hooked up to all of those machines, unmoving — staring the large, ugly scar cutting right across his torso, she flinched.
Megumi had wondered what it must have been like for her, to be back here again, but on the other side of it all. It was strangely reminiscent for Megumi — to be standing there, staring down at one of his classmates, on the brink of death, only saved by Arata’s technique. Of course, this time there was no looming threat of the end of the world. No Kenjaku, no Culling Games, No Sukuna.
No, this time the world kept spinning, and it was leaving Itadori Yuuji behind.
The days continued to pass, endless and monotonous. A deep, dark hole had started to form in Megumi’s heart, and it was taking the shape of the man he still had yet to mourn. It wouldn’t be the first time Yuuji died in front of him, and if Ieiri saved his life, it wouldn’t be the first time he came back, but this felt so much more dire.
He hated it.
Maybe it was because if there was nothing Ieiri could do, then there really was no chance of him being saved. There was no binding vow to be had to bring Yuuji back. If he died now, he was dead.
Maybe it was because Sora’s life was on the line, too. They were waiting for her to wake back up, but every time they asked for an update, Ieiri would go silent as she took a long drag of her cigarette.
The sight of her haunted Megumi every time he went to visit them in the infirmary — a young girl, laid in bed, hooked up to wires and machines, stuck in a half-life.
And Hitori.
Megumi hated how much he failed Hitori the most. The sight of him at his sister’s side every day was something that he was just too familiar with. The desperation in his voice as he sat there, whispering his apologies and saying all of the I love yous he never got to say, was something that Megumi knew too well.
They tried to find comfort in each other. They tried to eat together, train together, and visit the infirmary together. Even still, something between them had shifted. There was guilt, and there was resentment. And even if Hitori knew, logically, that this was no one’s fault but the board’s, Megumi knew that there was a part of him that would always ask why he came back instead of his sister.
And Megumi wouldn’t blame him.
How could he?
He couldn’t sit there and fault Hitori for wanting Sora to make it out over him. Not when he wanted the same for Yuuji. If he could trade places and be the person in the bed instead, he’d do it.
And so, the days passed by.
Megumi remembers talking to Kusakabe and Okkotsu, though he’s pretty sure he was yelling more than talking. They had come to him about meeting with the board, but Megumi wasn’t having it. This was something that he and Yuuji were meant to do together, and he wasn’t going to just do it without him.
“They’re insistent,” Kusakabe tries, but even the remorseful tone of his voice isn’t enough. “They want to know everything you felt went wrong that led to that mission.”
Megumi laughs in his face — a cold, dry laugh that leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. “They want to know how they screwed up so badly? Tell them to take a look at the fucking report.”
“It’s not just that, and you know it,” Okkotsu insists, stepping forward. “You know that there are a lot of things fundamentally wrong with how the higher ups operate. They want to hear about it.”
“They should just figure it out, Okkotsu,” Megumi spits back. “If they know something’s wrong, then they should fix it themselves while they wait for a sorcerer they killed to wake back up.”
Okkotsu just shakes his head. “Change like that can’t just happen. They want the opinion of the people they’ve wronged, and they want it now.”
Megumi laughs, running his tongue along his teeth. Alright then. If they want to know. “Fine.”
The walk to the meeting room is more like a march. Megumi storms his way in, not bothering to mix with the polite greetings and new introductions. He hears Gakuganji’s old, garbled voice, and he remembers how much he’s failed the sorcerers of this school. Of every school. He’s been a part of this fucking system for years, and he has the nerve to ask what’s wrong with it?
What happens next is an explosion.
Megumi rages and berates into the camera, airing out all of his grievances as he shames and blames and scolds the board. He tells them how they’ve done this, consistently, for years, and no one has ever once considered the risks of this job. He screams about how they’re just kids — how he’s still in high school — and he’s nearly lost his life countless times while going on these missions.
It’s an endless stream of bullets in the form of words, ricocheting off of the meeting room walls until Okkotsu and Kusakabe have to pull him out of the room. The last thing he remembers screaming is, “You killed us!”
That was only days ago.
Megumi doesn’t even know what day it is now. All of his missions have been temporarily barred, and his repetitive schedule only adds to the tedium. He supposes he should be upset about being benched, but it’s not like he can really complain. What fight does he even have in himself right now?
He thinks it’s his birthday now. It’d make sense and would account for the card slipped under his door this morning, but there’s no celebration. Today is like any other day — dull, empty, and hollow. It’s another tally in his mind, another day without Yuuji, and he’s not in the mood to spend it anywhere else but at the school.
Instead, he and Nobara walk down to the infirmary, sitting together at Yuuji’s side. They both hold one of his hands, Nobara on his right, and Megumi on his left. He stares at the missing digits, running his thumb along Yuuji’s knuckles, stopping at his pinky and ring finger, remembering all that he did to lose and save Megumi.
When they would lie together, Yuuji would tell him that it was worth it every time. He’d say how he doesn’t miss his fingers, and that they remind him how much he loves Megumi. Okkotsu had told him that to copy Sukuna’s technique, Yuuji needed to give up something important in order for it to work. A body part most vital to him for something as strong as Shrine.
“Why this finger then?” Megumi had asked softly, holding his hand up to Yuuji’s. He traced his knuckles then as he was doing now.
Yuuji only laughed, a quiet, gentle chuckle, and asked, “Do you really not know?”
Megumi can feel the tears welling as he stares at Yuuji’s hand now. He gets it now. Of course, he does. He’d do the very same just to save him, if he could, but all he’s left doing is waiting.
He continues to float through December like a ghost. A lost soul trying to find its way through the world. Megumi passes the holidays, the death anniversaries, the new year. The higher ups want to talk to him again, they want him to take missions again, they cite the statement put out in 2020, but either Okkotsu and Kusakabe are pushing for more time, or they know not to mess with him too much.
As the days continue forward, he thinks that he should be angrier. There’s a part of him that desires to tear everything apart. He dreams of Yuuji waking up, seeing an entirely new system, and he thinks that if he could just change something, then this wouldn’t happen again. This would never happen again.
Megumi pours himself into reading. Reading about curses, reading about techniques, reading about his technique. He reads about Hokkaido and its spiritual barriers. He reads about Tengen’s barriers and how they limit the birth of cursed spirits.
Hokkaido’s barriers are stronger, and they can keep curses from spawning.
But Hokkaido’s barriers were stronger, and the curse that was born was stronger, too.
It just doesn’t feel real. It’s like he’s staring at an impossible solution. No way to change the board, no way to save his friends, no way to make it better. It’s just generations of children dying — over and over and over again — until this world is bathed in blood and operates at the cost of a young teen’s life.
Megumi feels the bitterness rising — haunting him, drowning him — as he trains more and more. He opens his domain on the field, getting used to the feeling of its barrier, moving in and out of his shadows, summoning clones, summoning his shikigami. He watches the nerves fire from the vertebra, inspecting them, inspecting it, finding that it’s cursed energy that travels along the neural pathways.
The more he works with it, the more he understands.
His sure-hit drains cursed energy, the Atlas notch stores cursed energy, and it’s not selective. It rages as Megumi rages, and no matter who’s standing in his domain, if they have cursed energy, Megumi will take it.
That’s why Yuuji is the way he is — locked in a state between life and death.
The board might have orchestrated his death, intentional or not, but Megumi ensured it.
By the time late January rolls around, Megumi is left feeling even bitter than before. Maybe he should be grateful. At this point, the fact that the board is laying off of him and Hitori should be a good thing, right? One would assume that it’s nice — generous, even — that he’s been given so much time.
Time.
Always time.
Always wanting more, never having enough. You can’t account for time you don’t have when your life hangs on the line every day. Megumi doesn’t even know what he expects of himself anymore. All he knows is that he’s left feeling so bitter.
All he can think is that he’s been given this time. Time to isolate, time to rot, time to worry, time to grieve. There’s no sign of anything getting better with Yuuji or Sora, and yet the time continues to pass by. He thinks back to when he first woke up after Shinjuku, coming back to a world of devastation and loss. So much loss. There were so many people lost.
And were they given any time?
A month.
Megumi can almost laugh. They were given an entire month to recover, and then it was back to work and training and school. Hokkaido was awful. It was terrible. But how can the board sit there and give Megumi all of this time, and only give him a month after everything that happened in 2018?
This is no gift to him.
Their apologies and gilded sorrow mean nothing to him either.
He watches Hitori lose himself every day, and then he goes and loses himself, too, when no one wakes. He argues with Ieiri, asking what else can be done, and he doesn’t believe her when she says she’s doing everything she can. He pours himself into getting stronger, growing in his technique, growing his domain, as nothing but cursed energy surrounds and consumes him, and it feels like he’s just waiting for something to happen.
All of this build up, all of this tension, it has to go somewhere, doesn’t it?
Megumi gets his answer in February.
As Hitori cries, clinging to the bed, Megumi can only stare at the now-dead machines, and the body of a girl who had so much life. She had so much life. He can barely even register the things around him, as all of his senses become dull and muted. Hitori’s sobs and screams muffle in his ears, the lights in the infirmary dim in his eyes, and the cold, stale touch of the air only barely kisses his skin.
Somewhere, distantly, he can hear the broken, steady voice of Shoko Ieiri, noting to herself, “The time of death is 9:21 pm. February 3rd, 2022.”
Megumi thinks that he should be sad. He did promise to bring Sora back, and fate was cruel enough to twist his words. Oh, he brought her back, alright. Only to die anyway. Maybe he should cry or mourn or feel the weight of the guilt that’s bearing down on his shoulders.
But all he really feels is anger.
He’s just so angry.
Yuuji lies only a few feet away, still unwaking, and all he can think is that he’s going to come back to this. A student lost. His student lost. Someone that he was unable to save. Yuuji is going to come back, and he’s going to see that he never got the chance to say goodbye to Sora. Hell, he was her mentor, and he didn’t even get to see her body before she died.
Or he could very well die, too. His injuries were worse than Sora’s, he was bleeding more than Sora, he went without Reverse Cursed Technique longer than Sora. Megumi would like to think that he has hope — that Yuuji’s incredible strength and unnatural body could somehow pull through — but as he looks down at a brother, desperate to hold and be held by his sister once more, all he really has is a cold, bitter taste in his mouth.
The days are even worse now.
They both pass by Megumi, like watching the world through the window of the car, and drag on in an endless crawl, like counting down the seconds until the night falls again. Megumi only really feels like himself at night, when he can pretend that sleep will save him. With Yuuji gone, the nightmares return to him — an old song and dance — and he finds that he just can’t seem to forget.
Tsumiki’s body, Gojo’s body, the destruction of Shinjuku, the death of nearly everyone around him, Sora’s screams, Hitori’s cries, the feeling of a sword cutting into his neck, watching Sora bleed in front of him, watching Yuuji die — everything piles and stacks in his mind, giving him no time to rest and recover.
When he’s not dreaming of Sora’s death, he’s dreaming of Hitori’s screams. The look on his face when he realized there was no saving his sister. There never was. Megumi remembers the anguish in his eyes, something breaking in real time.
When they tried to call his parents, they never got an answer.
Megumi fights with himself in his head. He pushes and screams and tries everything he can. While the rest of the world continues on, Megumi ignores the building frustrations from the board and he thinks back to that fight.
Okkotsu and Kusakabe try to reach him, but the truth is that Megumi never really left Hokkaido.
His mind stays there, in the outskirts of Biei, trying to think his way to another solution. Another path, a different attack, a better reaction — anything. Anything to change the outcome of what happened, Megumi thinks about it.
But no matter how much he tries to change the past in his mind, it has no effect on the present in his life.
He tries to rationalize it with himself. He tries to tell himself that there was nothing that could be done. He tries to believe Nobara when she tells him it’s not his fault, and he tries to tell it to himself again in the whisper of the night.
Hitori stops coming out of his room. Megumi only sees him occasionally in the cafeteria, looking small and pale and broken. He remembers seeing him once a few weeks after Sora died, and all Hitori had to say was that he was sorry.
Megumi wasn’t even sure who he was saying it to.
This was never something that Hitori wanted. What he wanted was to be strong, and he was blinded by the board’s empty promises. Maybe he led Sora blindly into the world of sorcery, but the board had done the same to him.
Maybe all he wanted was to be a god.
Maybe that’s why the board gives him a mission. Barely a month later. In the middle of March. Spring has started to bloom in Tokyo, but there is no happiness or look to the future. As the flowers start to grow and the color returns to the trees, everything else inside of the school still holds winter — cold and frigid. No sign of life.
Hitori comes to Megumi — staring off into space, having lost weight, bags under his eyes — and informs him that he’s been assigned to a mission in the city. Megumi asks when he’s meant to leave, and Hitori tells him it’ll be on the nineteenth. Megumi asks if he wants to go, and Hitori only shrugs in reply. Megumi asks if he needs any help, and Hitori simply says, “No. I know what to do.”
And Megumi only wishes that he knew, too.
There are a lot of regrets that Megumi holds. From Shibuya to Shinjuku, to taking orders from the higher ups, to letting Hitori and Sora believe that this system was safe, to failing them completely, to failing Yuuji.
Megumi holds a lot of weight on his shoulders. Guilt and things that he feels responsible for. Memories and sights that will never leave his mind, no matter how much he wants to forget. Everything has just been one big dogpile, intent on bringing Megumi down until he can only accept it and give up.
Isn’t that what happened to Hitori?
As he stares into the dark, empty room, sent by the board to figure out why Hitori was a no-show to his mission, he realizes that it was something as simple as giving up.
While Megumi has been struggling to stay afloat, he never once realized just how badly Hitori was drowning. Maybe he is selfish after all, to have only been so focused on himself. Maybe this is meant to be his final failure. As if he doesn’t have enough of that. As if there isn’t enough blame on his shoulders.
When he reports the news to Okkotsu and Kusakabe, they can only sigh, dropping their heads as another death tolls for this school. Megumi had to bypass the empty bottle, look past the vacant eyes, and reach over the cold body to retrieve the only thing left behind.
A torn page from a notebook.
Sora,
I’m sorry.
Another call is sent to voicemail, and Megumi is left with a body to bury. Alone.
And that’s it.
Megumi is done trying to wait for something to happen. He’s been waiting, and things keep happening, but no outcome is better than the last. If Megumi waits here any longer, what else will take place? Will Yuuji finally die, succumbing to his injuries? Will Megumi have to face the board — again — as his pleas fall on deaf ears?
What happens if Megumi keeps waiting?
He’s so tired of waiting.
It’s time to start doing.
If he wants something like this to end, then he can’t just wait for it to happen. This is something that he’s going to have to make happen. No one is going to just listen to the ramblings of a grieving man. Not in this world.
He’s back in Hokkaido again. Those same dark thoughts whisper over and over in his mind. He can feel the thrum of cursed energy from the Fudo Myo even now, stored in his shadows, stored in the Atlas, and he thinks that this is how he’ll do it. He just needs to be stronger. He needs to be more. No matter how much it takes, no matter how heavy it weighs, he’ll do this, and then something might change.
Megumi has spent his entire life looking up to the people around him. He’s fought with his morality, deciding that he could never be what Tsumiki was. When he was first approached by Gojo to become a sorcerer, it was one of the many things he asked himself.
Who would I save?
Who would Megumi save? Who can he save? Like this? In this job?
There’s no hope for anything, if he just keeps waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. There’s no sign of Yuuji getting better, and as Megumi falls further and further into despair, he can feel himself losing more people around him. When will the bodies stop hitting the ground?
It won’t just stop at Yuuji. When will it be Nobara? Or Maki? Or Okkotsu? Or Inumaki? Or even Megumi himself? How long will he have to watch his friends, the people he loves, die until it’s finally his turn?
He thinks back to his first year, the mindset that he’s carried with him ever since he started this job.
Megumi is not a hero.
He’s a jujutsu sorcerer.
He knows that he can’t expect to save everyone, and it’s a pipe dream to want it.
But he made a promise.
If not for himself, then it’s for Yuuji.
Hitori and Sora, and everyone else who has ever died around Megumi, they all had proper lives. They were here. They were just here, and they could have had proper deaths, too, but it was taken from them. Violently. Carelessly.
And Megumi thinks that he just doesn’t want that for himself.
If his issue was always that he’s never been greedy, well, now, here he is. Filled with greed. A want so strong that it eats at his mind. His cursed energy burns as he stares at his student ID, sitting alone in the darkness of his room. This isn’t just something that he wants for himself, however, he wants it for everyone.
For Tsumiki, who was cursed before she would ever really live. For Gojo, who died for a cause left in vain. For Sora, who never wanted to stand where she stood — only a sister, looking out for her brother. For Hitori, who felt that he could only be worth something by being strong.
For Yuuji, who’s too damn selfless to ever think for himself.
Megumi will be selfish for all of them.
This is how he guarantees a proper life.
If he can change the system, if can eradicate it altogether, then there will be no more need for this. No more grieving, no more hurting, no more falling too short to save who you want to save. The solution is there, Megumi can see it, and he now realizes that Gojo was closer than ever before.
He had taken out the people in power, but the issue is that people will always be in power. What was it that someone had said? Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. The foundation of this society is built off of the existence of curses, so what if Gojo was only halfway there? What if the solution has been there all along, and maybe it was the approach that was wrong?
Maybe it was attempted before, but maybe Megumi is better. Maybe he’s stronger. Maybe he’s more reckless and stupid and just a little bit more selfish.
Megumi holds onto the thick, plastic card of the school’s ID, bending it as he clenches and unclenches his fist. He floats through the school, waiting for some sort of sign to tell him not to do this. Once he crosses that line, there’s no going back, but a part of him doesn’t want to.
Go back to what?
Jumping when the board says jump, and heeling when the board says heel?
Megumi thinks he’d rather take this route. Go down this path. Find the right solution and refine it. He has the power, doesn’t he? Maybe he needs more, but he knows how he can get it. And this isn’t something that he entirely wants to do, but maybe it really is for the best. He can set some boundaries, establish some lines that can never be crossed. No matter how much he wants this, he won’t be that selfish.
Never civilians.
Never sorcerers.
Make up for what you lack with curses.
He’ll bear the weight with his shadows. He’ll fall into the darkness, the endless void, if it means he’s the only one who falls. As Megumi travels through the school, bypassing the sympathetic stares and ignoring the attempts to reach out, he thinks that there really is nothing for him right now as he makes his way to the infirmary, ignoring Ieiri as she steps out for a smoke break.
Yuuji lies there in one of the beds, the same as he was when they first brought him back. Tengen, it feels like it’s been ages now, and yet it’s only really been a few months. A part of him wants to laugh at how much has changed in that short time.
Megumi stares at Yuuji, tracing the scars on his face with his eyes, gently feeling the skin on his chest with his fingers. He follows the line of the scar, across his abs, down to his hip, and back up again. Yuuji is ticklish, and if he were awake, he’d tell Megumi to stop in a fit of giggles.
But now, he just lies there.
Megumi wills himself not to cry or react. Instead, he just waits.
It’s the eve of Yuuji’s birthday. Another day meant for celebration that Megumi is sure will pass without care. There’s barely anyone left to care. His heart aches for Nobara, and a part of him feels bad for what he’s about to do, but he tells himself that this is for her, too. He had to see her like this before the Culling Games. He had to nearly lose her just as much as he nearly lost Yuuji.
There have been too many near misses and far too many hits.
Megumi has lost himself somewhere in this grief — this never-ending spiral of shame and guilt. He needs someone to pull him out, but who is there to do it? Those who are too good for the world are left lying in hospital beds, waiting to die.
If this is the fate of a person who is good, then maybe that’s what Megumi shouldn’t be.
But before he takes this step, he just needs a sign. One thing. Anything. Before the clock strikes midnight, he waits until he decides that he can’t wait any longer. He looks at the time, feeling his chest ache, because something in him knows that he’s only stalling.
11:58.
Megumi looks back at Yuuji, only sleeping. Serene and peaceful. Yet there was so much violence that brought him here. He’s watching closely. He’ll take anything at this point. A twitch, a sigh — something more than the steady breathing and droning heartbeat that hasn’t changed since Ieiri first stabilized him.
11:59.
Megumi waits. He counts the seconds, feeling panic rising as he grows closer and closer to time. There are tears in his eyes before he can stop himself, but he continues to stare, not wanting to miss anything that might tell him that what he’s about to do is wrong. In his mind, he reaches 30 seconds and begins to gently caress Yuuji’s face, feeling the trail of a single tear fall down his own cheek.
12:00.
Megumi closes his eyes, letting the rest of the tears fall as he slowly stands, leaning over Yuuji, hovering above his face. He exhales shakily, staring at the unchanged expression, and meets Yuuji’s lips with a gentle kiss. He holds himself there, pressing into him, as if it would be enough to wake him, but when he pulls away, there’s still nothing.
12:01.
Megumi steps back from the bed, his student ID snapping in his hand from the pressure and the force, and he inhales a deep, calming breath. The tears stop, his heart rate steadies, and he straightens his posture.
“Happy birthday, love,” he whispers. “I’m sorry.”
Then he leaves the school and Yuuji behind.
Notes:
HOLYYYY SHITTTT
i had no idea that this chapter was going to be this long; i just knew that it was going to be a BEAST. holy fucking shit. i don't even want to say, "i hope you enjoyed it," because i know that this is a very hard read.
thank you all for reading this. you are so strong.
as per usual, i have some things to note:
- as you can see this chapter included a bit of buddhism. december 8th, the day of their mission, is also known as bodhi day. it's a buddhist holiday that commemorates the day that gautama buddha is said to have attained enlightenment
- biei is a real village, and the biei shrine is one of the power spots in that area. people are known to travel there for tourism, and they often stop at the shrine for good fortune in love and matchmaking. the cleaning of the hands and mouths is a practice you are meant to do before you enter the shrine
- the curse is inspired by the fudo myo, one of the thirteen buddas. it is known to be a wrathful protector. there are thirteen sacred shrines for them in hokkaido, and fudo myo's is in sapporo. it is depicted to carrying a sword in its right hand (the sword of wisdom) and a noose in its left hand (to bind and capture harmful emotions). it is also depicted with fire, representative of purifying negative emotions
- megumi's complete domain is loosely based off of the gashadokuro. it is known to be wrathful, hunting prey until its pent up anger is released. megumi's domain reflects his mindset — which is fueled with rage as he completed it. this is manifested in the idea that his domain's sure-hit is unforgiving, and it will attack/hunt, regardless of who is targeted, until the domain is closed (aka: megumi's anger is released)
- the atlas is the first cervical verterbra of the spine. it connects the skull to the rest of the body, called the "atlas," as it bears the weight of the skull, just as atlas bears the weight of the heavens in greek mythology
- february 3rd, the day that sora dies (sorry), is also known as setsubun. it is the day before the beginning of spring in the old calendar in japan. its name means "seasonal division." sora died the day before spring. her time of death is 9:21pm. 9/21, which is the day before the autumn equinox.
EDIT: someone in my strawpage pointed out to me that this is also geto's birthday. THAT IS LITERALLY A CRAZY COINCIDENCE!!!!! the way that setsubun works is that it falls on either the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th and is dependent on the lunar cycle (though it is often on the 3rd. i had to look up which day was setsubun in 2022, and it was february 3rd. THAT IS INSANE.okayyy, i believe that is all i have to note here. long ass chapter. long ass a/n. i also wanted to give many thanks to my lovely katerpillar for helping me conceptualize megumi's complete domain. i hope that this chapter did our talks justice, and i appreciate you allowing me to pick your brain very much.
thank you all so much for reading this chapter and this long-as-fuck a/n. until next time <3
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