Don't Forget

by noelnotholiday

Summary:

What happened to December Holiday? 15 year old deer-girl, brunette, short wavy hair, usually wears a red jacket, went missing in 2012.
This fanfic (for now) will tell the events that previously happened before she got lost in Angel knows where.

(Mainly a DESSRIEL fic but I'd like to focus on other characters and make a more profound plot as well :pppp )

Chapter 1: When the light is running low...

December woke up with a sore throat. “Fuck, must be allergies” she thought. Not very convenient for today. It was spring, Holy Week had just started. 1st of April of 2012. Ha, April Fools. She had to think of some kind of prank to pull on her friends, at least.

“Sunday??” She always hated going to church. Not in a disrespectful way, she respected variety of religions, but she didn't want to believe in something that was constantly shoved up her ass. Having to go dressed “nice” and “dainty” wasn't her vibe, and even less the whole fact about shutting up and having to listen to loooong lectures about the Angel. “Father Alvin is a chill dude tho” she always thought to herself. It was just that she didn't like the fact that her mother always forced her to go and had her pretend to believe in something she didn't.

On Sundays she always felt like an alien. These clothes were horrendous… She would've liked to wear her usual outfits. Come on, in the big 2010’s?? She was already 15, and she didn't like that her mother chose those outfits. She knew Dess and her style of fashion. What was the matter with dressing a bit less feminine… Unlike Noelle, she didn't like wearing skirts and dresses as often as she did. Sure, she liked wearing them once in a while. But, is it really necessary to constantly prove the world that you're wearing “girls clothes”? Plus, she liked keeping her hair shorter than her sister.

Anyways, church wasn't the main event for today. This night, she would go to a party (of course without her mother knowing, but her dad was going to help her go) with his best friend Azzy and a bunch of good friends. Holy Week had just started? Yes. Did they really respect it that much in Hometown? Meh. But mom did.

She put her church clothes on, but beneath the bed she hid her outfit for the party. Mom called downstairs:

—December! Hurry up, we're late. Noelle's already done.

—Going, mom!—she answered, with a slightly annoyed tone added to her voice. She rolled her eyes as she rushed to go downstairs.

Her mother was standing in the hall, next to a 7 year old Noelle swinging back and forth waiting for her. She was so tiny right now but not as much as she used to be. She was sure Elly was going to be even taller than her when she growed up.

Dad was waiting in the car. Dess PRAYED for her father to not tell her mother that she was sneaking out tonight. So she put on the best show she could and tried acting as submissive as she could.

This hour felt like the most boring hour of her entire life. The thrill and anticipation for the party was eating her alive. Moreover, she was longing to spend time with her best friend these holidays, since they had plenty of exams last week.

—...all glory and honour is yours, for ever and ever.

—Amen—she acclaimed with the rest of the people.

Finally, it was over. Dad winked at her when Carol (her mother) wasn't looking. “YES!!” she celebrated to herself internally. All she had to do now was wait until it was dark.

She was repeatedly throwing her baseball against the wall when her phone vibrated. The small screen showed the name “Azzy”. She read the following message:

“BTW can u bring ur camera 2 the party it would be cool 2 film smth”

She threw herself in bed and replied: “OFC!! WYWH, I was so bored at church :P”

A minute passed, and another notification popped up in her flip cellphone. She unconsciously kicked her legs a bit and looked at the text message:

“Well, CU there, I will TTYL when I arrive :))”

“Ok CYA <3”

“<3”

She closed her phone suddenly, buried her face in her hands, and pulled her skin on utter confusion. What was happening to her these days?? This weird feeling on her face stuck around since last week every time she interacted with him. Maybe it was the stress from the exams…? Absolutely not since all she felt was relief when she talked about anything with her BFF. What was it then? She always felt warmer around friends, but lately, Azzy was putting her on her nerves and she couldn't tell if it was in a good or bad way. But deep down she knew she was blushing and sweating more often than normal.

She kept throwing the baseball against the wall.

—December, stop it with the damn baseball. Your father and I are trying to take a nap.

—Ooookay, mom.

She punched her fists onto the bed in frustration. What the fuck was she supposed to do while waiting??

Noelle peeked out the door.

—Hey Dess! Do you want to play Cat Petterz 2 with me for a bit? I want to hex a new pet I drew in class on Friday. Can you help me?

—Of course, Elly.

Her sister was always so kind and calm. She was proud of her, and low-key envied her for being a better sister than her. Ironic, since she was the oldest. Dess used to be nicer when she was little, but she was in her teen years and became more rebellious. She sometimes wondered if someday she would be the best sister for Elly.

The clock struck midnight. She heard her father waking up slowly. Couldn't tell if it was because of his age or the fact that her mother was asleep, but it didn't matter. She dressed up on the clothes she left beneath the bed and took her camera and cellphone with her.

While in the car, she received another text from Azzy:

“HIII I ALR ARRIVED WYA DEEEESSS”

“ALMOST THERE DAMMIT WAIT AZZY D:<”

She took her camera covered with stickers and smiled at it. It had already captured so many memories that she wanted to look at in the future. It was a gift from her dad on her First Communion, and she kept it since that day.

While they were a few blocks away from the destination, she saw a few streetlights turning off, dimming the path they left behind. Very interesting, she thought. Maybe it was just the lightbulbs that burned out.

Chapter 2: Sore shoulder

Summary:

Dess waits for Azzy, her phone almost fucking dies and they have a not so small talk about some issues.

They arrived to the park. Rudy dropped off Dess, she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

 

—Bye daaaad!

 

—Bye Dess, have fun and don't do anything dangerous.

 

She snickered.

 

—I won't.

 

She promised herself she didn't want to worry her dad even more. This week had been rough at home.

She started searching for her best friend. They planned on going earlier to spend some time together before joining the rest.

 

—Azzy? Where you at?

 

Silence.

 

—Azzy?

 

“He said he already had arrived. Where the heck is this guy??”

She slouched with her hands in her pockets and left out a big sigh. Her eyes wandered in the darkness, hoping that she wouldn't have to wait too long. She tucked a strand of hair behind her left ear. Maybe he went to piss. Maybe he tripped over something and hasn't arrived at that part of the park yet. Oh, there is a squirrel right there. She grabbed her phone and-

 

—AHH!! WHAT. THE. FUCK.

 

He surprised her, well, more like almost gave her a heart attack with a hug from behind. Her phone fell from her hands into a small puddle. Petrified, she carefully put Azzy’s arms away and she picked it up, expecting it wasn't broken. Phew, still alive. A small frown formed on her face.

 

—Oh, shit- I'm sorry!— he shouted, concerned.

 

He covered his mouth and stared at her frowning face, praying that it would go away. She acted so strange lately! He was worried that she was mad at him or something. Always turning her face away when talking to him, rushing to go to her home everyday… What was going on with her? Did he say something wrong…?

She quickly changed her expression.

 

—No worries, Azzy. It's okay, it's still working. I just- you almost gave me a heart attack! Fa-ha-ha…

 

A sign of relief showed in his face.

 

—You sure?

 

—Yeah! Of course.

 

They sat on the top of a bunker located far on the path.

 

—So… Did you bring the camera?

 

—Obviously I did.

 

Suddenly, she raised her index finger as a sign of telling him to pay attention. She took the camera out of her pocket and turned it on. Her fingers pushed the buttons searching for the last photo she took.

 

—Take a look.

 

It was a photo of a weird cat. Its eyes were big and it had heterochromia, but the colours were… Unusual, let's say. Yellow and pink. Such a strange cat.

 

—Ohh, how cute. It seems friendly. Did you pet it?

 

—No, honestly not. It ran away right after I took the photo.

 

He sat a bit closer to take a better look at the pic. Dess felt Azzy's jacket brush against her uncovered arm, since she was wearing a band t-shirt and her jacket was tied around her waist. The texture felt nice, even if it was a bit rough. Her breath became a bit heavier as she was tempted to lean into him an inch closer, but she resisted. She didn't want him to think any weird things about her. But they were friends, anyways…?

 

—Should we search for it?—Dess suggested.

 

— I was walking around here when I found the cat.

 

—Oookay.

 

They walked on the dark path for a while.

 

—You know? I'm lucky that my mom leaves early this morning to go on a business trip for a few days. This last week she’s been such a drag. If she found out I'm not at home I would be grounded.

 

Azzy's gaze turned from a relaxed expression to a concerned one.

 

—Your mom is still… acting like that? What's gotten into her?

 

—I don't know, I guess she's just very nervous. She's been taking some pills these months, I suppose it's because of work. But I don't like the way she's yelling at us recently. I haven't been doing good at highschool; I know, but… Sometimes it's too much and I prefer spending time at the baseball field or with you than going back home. How am I supposed to study with mom hollering at my folk…—she smiled slightly trying to hide her sorrow— And it's always nonsense, I can't get what they're talking about. “The poor children… what will they think…” she always says.

 

Asriel glanced coyly to the grass. He heard these types of conversations at his home as well, but he didn't want his best friend to know. He let the thought linger for a while in his mind, while he kept talking to her. He resigned to put his hand on her shoulder.

 

—You know… You can rely on me when you need it, alright? I don't know what's going on and I'm not going to ask that much, I don't want to be nosy. But you CAN tell me whatever you feel you need to get out of your mind and whenever you need it. Okay, Dess? You've been acting strange lately. Is everything really okay at home?

 

—Don’t worry, I'm serious. Dawg, I'm just mad at my mother and shit happens sometimes.

 

She fake laughed, but she knew it wasn't quite like that. Her sore shoulder which her mother had grabbed a bit too hard in the hallway when she scolded her two days ago when refusing to go to youth group was hurting a tad, but relying on remembering the other shoulder brushing against his best friend's a while ago was making her feel better, at least.

 

—Ok, fine then—Azzy answered.

 

Meanwhile they were searching for the cat, some of their friends appeared…

Notes:

Hiii!!! I finished my final exams! Not the university access ones yet... D': wish me luck LMAOOOOO, I will try to write something more if I can and when I finish them I will consistently publish chapters. Hope you liked it <33

Chapter 3: Warm skin

Summary:

Dess has some things to "envy" or... better said, admire from Azzy, but he knows they have more in common than she thinks. Sometimes making jokes out of something serious doesn't make the bad feelings go away, but other things do...

Catty and Bratty appeared blurry in the distance, even more for Asriel, who had left his glasses at home.

 

—Hi there, Asriel!!! Hi, December…!

 

Catty didn't seem too happy to see December near Asriel. But a fake smile quickly showed on her lips.

 

—Howdy, girls! How's it going?

 

Dess low-key envied Azzy's charisma working with everyone on Hometown. Why was it so easy for him to be liked and welcomed by all of them? Yeah, she sure had some friends.

 

But she had always been somewhat in the shade of Azzy and her own sister. She could relate to Kris in a way, honestly. They were a bit of an outcast sometimes, she felt pity for them. It wasn't fair. They were just a human, adopted into a monster family. What was the issue? They sometimes were chaotic as hell, surely, but; was it really that important? Why did they have to stay on Asriel's shade, even with their own parents? Dess absolutely adored… probably in the most literal sense, she adored Azzy. But that didn't mean Kris was less important than him. They were her friend as well, even if they were years younger.

 

She felt like an outcast at her home as well. Especially on big events with the whole family, including grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. She was forced to act in a determined way, as if she were in a play. Always putting the same role. Calm, collected, quiet. Never giving her opinion and just eating whatever was on her plate or just waiting until the family reunion was over. 

 

Utterly contrary to her true personality. It was a torture having to go almost every weekend. Having to pretend to be someone she wasn't, wasn't the best plan. She wished she could get along with them, but it was impossible. Having mom forcing her to behave was exhausting. 

 

She had been disappointing her family for the last 4 years and it was draining her from the inside. Her grades dropped lower and lower with time as the situation at home worsened. Besides, the only things she truly enjoyed were mocked at home. “Are you sure you don't want to stay at the cross country team with your sister? Baseball is such a coarse sport”. “Oh, Dess. Again with the guitar? Won't you learn something more… Interesting, as… Piano? Or… Violin? Guitar will not get you very far, dear”.

 

Her attention skewed towards Asriel's hand patting the back of her neck. She must've been dissociating for a while, huh.

 

—Let’s go to the cemetery—Bratty suggested—This place is like, y’know, icky.

 

Azzy and Dess looked at each other in plain confusion. It was their hanging out spot, they went there every other day in their free time.

 

They all walked to the cemetery. Pizzapants was late as always, they would just wait for him to send a message asking: “GUYS WYA??!??” and tell him where they were at the moment.

 

Catty and Bratty were gossiping with each other about something unknown to the other two. So, they sat next to a near fence and kept going with the previous conversation:

 

—Dess, is everything ok? Are you sure?

 

—I said don't worry, Asriel. No bigger deal than a scold.

 

He put his head on one of his hands and turned it to look at her. The goat was looking at her hazel brown eyes and her long lashes, but his attention was quickly dragged to her shoulder. He could see some sort of bruise peeking over the shirt. His eyes widened and his mouth opened very slightly.

Dess noticed, and quickly tried to hide it.

 

—Dess. 

 

—What.

 

He looked at her straight in the eye and frowned, because of both frustration and his poor sight.

 

—What the hell is going on with that bruise in your shoulder?! Let me see, please.

 

—Uhh… N-no? What are you talking about??

 

She tried to hide her anxiety but her trembling hands and her face turning paler completely gave it away.

 

—Let me see…!—he whispered.

 

—I don't WANT to??

 

Bratty and Catty stopped gossiping for a second and gave them a dirty look for low-key shouting, but soon resumed the gossip.

 

Asriel felt hurt because he really wanted to know what happened. Unexpectedly, the doe reunited all of her courage and pulled the shirt down a bit. He glanced towards it, his face worried and a bit creeped out.

 

—I… oh… th-that must've hurt—he stuttered.

 

She swiftly covered it again.

 

—Is that enough?

 

He placed his hand on her forearm. Her previous frightened stare switched to a more relaxed one, and she leaned back a few centimetres away from him, her body tensing up, scared that he would look at her even weirder after seeing that.

 

—Why are you acting like that? Just curious. Did you trip over something, fell from somewhere…?

 

She hesitated about telling him what happened a few days ago or not. She tried to cover it up with a bad joke:

 

—Yeah, from heaven, dumbass. Such a harsh life since I arrived—she put a hand on her forehead dramatically as she acted.

 

He laughed at her joke, but oh… He knew what the hell was going on at Mayor Holiday’s home. He always saw these little things that only oneself notices when something similar happens to them. Those “pats” given on the head to both sisters when in public accompanied by a camouflaged “we'll talk about this later” glare. Those “oh, I've only achieved a B+…” coming out of Noelle's mouth as her eyes faintly watered up when she told her sister, and Dess’ eyes showing a feeling of anticipation of what would happen at home. He was sure he didn't know these feelings as well as they did, but… It felt familiar. 

 

At least for him.

 

He managed to sneak out because of the fact that “mom wasn't feeling very well tonight”. He pretended he didn't know but… she definitely was kind of a boozer (if she was going through hard times) since a looong, long while ago. His father and Rudy joked about it sometimes at dinners or barbecues, about how his mother liked to party back in college… But it wasn't really that funny when he found her, laying her head on the table with a glass of wine or whiskey, casually every single Saturday night when Asgore usually went out with some of his friends. Maybe with that one specific “friend”. These habits were increasing for the last two months as the arguments raised in number as well, extending to maybe… Wednesdays… Fridays… oh, perhaps everyday they argued and she needed something to cope with the tension. And it was turning into an addiction at this point, but no one said nothing.

 

He shook timidly his head, leaving his own thoughts for a moment. He rested his head on December’s non-bruised shoulder and sighed as he looked up, feeling her silky and now cold hair brushing his cheeks.

 

She felt that feeling all over her face again. What did it mean? It felt… Good? But it made her feel embarrassed about herself. Did he do this out of pity? Or was it a genuine display of affection? His cheek felt soft against her skin, which was warmer and warmer as the seconds passed, letting the paleness from earlier go away.

Notes:

I needed to get those words out of my head, listening to music on the bus absolutely gave me ideas for this chapter. I was ACHINGGG waiting to write this, y'all don't know how much I want to write deeper and longer about these two. Byeee <3

Chapter 4: Contact

Summary:

Kris, Elly, Azzy and Dess go to the lake. Finally, they can get some rest of their concerns and play around. Perhaps the oldest ones might make some moves on eachother...

A few days later, Azzy and Dess were sitting next to eachother, hanging out around the lake with Kris and Noelle. The youngest ones were playing with some sticks, poking the bugs on the floor and trying to make “mini-houses” for them. Noelle shouted:

 

—Careful Krissy! You're going to smash’em…!

 

Kris grinned as they muttered:

 

—Try and stop me.

 

Noelle picked up the stick and poked Kris' knee as she pouted. Kris poked her back and they both started a little fight.

 

Her sister giggled, covering her mouth so Noelle wouldn't feel bad. Asriel gave her an “are you serious” sarcastic look, and he couldn't help but start laughing quietly as well. The laughing increased every time they looked at eachother, to a point where their respective younger siblings turned around and looked pissed off.

 

They tried to stop, trying to maintain the straightest faces possible.

 

—Were you laughing at us?—the little doe asked, with a disappointed look on her face.

 

—No! No, absolutely not, Elly—Dess answered, as she felt a hand reaching her right flank from behind her back, trying to pinch her and get a squeal or something like that out of her.

 

She stopped the hand and grabbed it, pulling him closer, making his arm surround her and keeping herself out of his hand’s reach. Absolutely a bad idea.

 

She turned her head just to find his face closer than ever to hers. There were a few seconds where none of them pulled away, feeling their shaky breaths inches apart, admiring each other's gazes like they hadn't done for a long time as they blinked, processing the situation.

 

She suddenly let go of his arm and distanced herself from his face slowly, turning her face away. This feeling again. Ok, what the fuck was happening this time?!? The heat on her cheeks was undeniable. Her heart started to beat a bit faster and she turned into a nervous mess right out of the blue. Why was this happening to her RIGHT NOW??? She usually felt like that when she was at home thinking about him and what they did, BUT NEVER HAD HAPPENED IN PERSON?! 

 

December Holiday, acting like this? Like an stupid teenager that she actually was? She never had felt like that EVER and she was so calm and unbothered before all of those feelings started to appear. Never felt the urge to like someone. Never cared about anything else like that that wasn't on TV or books. NEVER. And out of AAAAALL the people that she could've liked, she started with HER BEST FRIEND??? Started to care about how she looked like around him, about what she said, what she did… UGH, ridiculous shit. WHAT WAS SHE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW???

 

—Oookay, I'm leaving for a walk—she shoved him—Asriel, I hate youuuu…—she teased as she flipped him off and walked away, trying to hide her true expression. She needed to clear her mind and try to make the redness on her skin go away as soon as possible…

 

—Oh?

 

The goat was confused and ran towards her. She noticed and started running faster.

 

—You’re not going anywhere! Wait for me! What the HECK did I do??—he wailed as he kept chasing her.

 

—Nuh-huh, Azzy…! Talk to the hand…!—she yelped in between breaths due to running that fast—Should’ve not done that…!

 

He finally reached her on some point of the path and threw himself onto her to pin her to the ground. They play-fought letting out sincere cackles, getting blades of grass and some dirt in their fur and skin. December was brushing off some dirt from her hand while still laying on the grass and unexpectedly felt some weight on top of her. 

 

They were hugging each other in the middle of the forest, laying down, with some rays of sunlight peeking above the leaves. Their breaths calmed down as they still laughed, staying that way and not moving a muscle. The girl tried to get up, but Azzy refused.

 

—Noooo, stay still…—he complained innocently.

 

She felt a shiver down her spine. The way that he talked to her right now made her blush even more than before. It was so heartfelt, so genuine… She finally dared to caress his hair gently, and let herself enjoy that moment with him.

 

Five minutes passed. They were laying next to each other now, looking at the top of the trees. But they couldn't resist moving a little closer each time they talked.

At one point, Asriel's hand was close enough for Dess’ reach. She tried to play it off as she dragged two of his fingers and locked them with hers, as she kept talking about the last baseball game she played.

Asriel's hand tensed at first, but it relaxed and he interlocked his hand fully with Dess’.

He occasionally rubbed his thumb on her skin, feeling an emotion that he couldn't describe yet, but it was present.

 

Neither of them wanted this evening to end, but the sky was turning darker. They got up, but this time, everything felt different. After they picked up Noelle and Kris, they were constantly laughing all the way back home and trying to keep physical contact with one another, brushing their arms or hands occasionally, pulling their sleeves to drag the other around… It's like if they were twelve year olds again, laughing like they hadn't in ages. Forgetting for a little while about their issues. Only caring about spending time together.

Notes:

AAAAAAAAAA THEY'RE CONSUMING MEEEE, I needed to make some fluff of them on this chapter. There's nothing I enjoy more than writing those type of scenes where actions speak more than words :'')
anyways there you have another chapter mweheheheheh

Chapter 5: Back and forth banter

Summary:

They decide to watch a movie at the Dreemurrs' home. As strangely as it sounds, things finally get more tense. Some play-fighting, perhaps there could be a quick peck... at some point? Who knows, who knows...

—Have you seen “The Severed Hand”? I've heard it's scary as shit—Azzy asked.

 

—Huh? No, honestly not. Even though it's strange for me to not have watched it yet—she answered with a bit of pride as her fingers traced back and forth in the gaps of the wooden table.

 

—Since it came out for DVD recently, we could rent it and watch it, hmm?

 

—Ah- yeah, maybe.

 

She was easily distracted today. She hadn't slept well. Her week had been good, for sure; but… something was off. There was a recurring nightmare appearing in her sleep these last days.

The only thing she was capable of remembering from it was a cold feeling on her hands, like it was puncturing them. As if a hole was perforated. And this sensation lasted for a few minutes after waking up.

 

—Heyyy—Asriel poked her antlers to catch her attention. She felt her hair shift.

 

—What?

 

—Nothin’. Just making sure you're on the same Earth as I am.

 

—Pshhh—she shushed him, pulling his hand, putting her antlers out of his reach and buried her head into her crossed arms on the park table. She really cared when people touched them, but she tried to hide that.

 

All out of a sudden, she felt his hand stroking her freshly washed hair slowly, and couldn't help but let out a big sigh of relief. Couldn't deny it, she was getting progressively used to these things. They felt weird, but not in a bad way. She craved and craved more of these situations every time they parted, but… he mustn't know. She KNEW he wouldn't mock her for it, of course, but… It made her nervous. One false step and it would be over. This thrill that kept her awake for a while every night before she got tired enough to sleep, that kept her thinking when her mind got distracted, that got her imagining scenarios and replaying them over and over when she was at any enjoyable place…

 

She enjoyed it so much, but, not gonna lie, everyone wants things to be clear at some point. She couldn't be in a constant state of keeping it secret forever. She had to tell him one day,  to make it obvious, but every time she even thought about planning on solely SPILLING THE TEA with her friends, her stomach started to hurl and her mind wanted to think about any other thing but THAT. Would it really be worth it? Yes, of course, everyone knows that it's more worth it to tell the truth than stay with a lingering doubt about “what could have been”. But she felt that she didn't want to rush this. This pace was enough for her to enjoy Asriel’s friendship and company, and those confusing moments of intimacy that apparently had no name yet.

 

STILL… Holy Week break would be over soon, and her mother would be returning in three days. What better time to make him know than now. So she accepted his request.

 

—You know what? I'm up for it, let's go to the videoclub and rent the movie.

 

—Ok! I didn't really want to watch it without you, ha—he said as he got up and patted her back tenderly.

 

Her cheeks slightly flushed, so she quickly got up before he could notice her coyness.

 

As they walked, some of the already lit up street lights (it was already late in the evening) started fading again.

 

—Is it really ok if I stay until that late?

 

—Yeah, no worries. My parents would never kick you out, for them, you're a nice girl.

 

—For them? Then, for you… I'm not?—she said snarkily, pushing him to the left trying to hide her feeble frustration.

 

—Hmm, I don't know…—he caught the bantering ambient— Why are you always pushing and pulling me then? A bit rough, aren't ya…? I'm going to end up all bruised at this pace.

 

—Fa-ha-ha, you're right, I guess… I'm sorry—she apologised as she passed her arm kindly over his shoulder.

 

He made a tsking sound as he placed his hand on her waist and pulled her closer, making her legs trip sideways for some seconds in the process. She could observe for a few instants that he turned his face away from hers. Was he shy about this now…? Guess she wouldn't know at this moment. But she knew for sure what she was feeling. This sensation always felt so good, as if her body unconsciously let go all her nervousness for a while. That feeling going from the bottom of her stomach, to the hair on her arms weakly going up, giving her goosebumps, and then later to her complete face as she felt an unexpected heat on her blood taking over all of her veins. Later she would overthink that, and believe there were no signs of reciprocation, but oh dude, was this girl blind as hell. Purposefully.

 

At first, her body reacted stiff as wood but she gradually leaned towards him as they walked. There was a strange silence between them, but it was needed. Neither dared to utter a single word. Slow changes in their positions talked more than anything, such as some small but firm grasps on her waist, daring to go a bit farther but not yet; or her hand letting go of his shoulder and reaching his arm, sometimes squeezing his skin fondly.

 

It was really comfortable, sincerely. A new experience, at least for Dess, who wasn't that used to being this affectionate with “friends”, but they were still finding out things about their feelings. That's how it goes, after all. Teenagers experimenting with what they like or what they don't. Neither of them believed that doing all of this was something necessary or unskippable in their teenage years, but now that it was happening, they wouldn't complain at all.

 

They let go of each other when they got to the videoclub. The typical shame one feels these first times when being affectionate to another person in public.

 

Asriel wasn't that used to this type of behaviour as many would have thought. Yes, he apparently had already his first kiss with Bratty but it was all because of a truth or dare game. His mom even made the entire family go to church a whole week because of that. Catty had an obvious crush on him since forever, but he didn't give her a chance. Rumors said many people liked him, but in reality, he was just as inexperienced as December was.

 

Both technically sixteen, and still got no game. Until now.

 

They rushed through all the store aisles until they found the movie.

 

—It’s five bucks—the cashier said as she lazily slid the plastic case with the DVD towards them. She licked her finger and kept reading self-absorbed into her book while laying back on the chair.

 

This monster lady was actually really attractive, but her attitude sometimes ruined it. She was a pink and slim lizard with yellow eyes, her hair was a dark brown and she had a long ponytail hanging over her right shoulder, and wore blue glasses. Her gaze was kind of scary at first, but you could sense some hints of kindness later, when you had spoken a few more times with her. She was around her 30s, and had a little purple monster playing behind the desk, very similar to her. Although she was very young, she was taller than other kids her age. Maybe she was around Kris and Noelle's age. They arrived very recently to Hometown, so they didn't know the names of the mother and the daughter.

 

Asriel paid and they both left the local.

 

—I swear to the Angel…

 

—Hmm?

 

—Smash or pass, dude.

 

—Smaaaaash…—they answered in unison. Seems they both had a special liking for sassy reptiles. Their relationship had always been a total bi chaos, truly.

 

They laughed all the way home about random things, occasionally cueing each other non-verbally to go back to holding onto their arms, but they didn’t do so right now.

 

Azzy opened the door. There was a not-so-known silence there. No one was at home at these hours: Kris went to piano practice and they shouldn't return until around 8:30-9 PM, Dad was doing a night shift today at the police station and Mom was going out with some friends until late.

 

—Well, the coast is clear. My mom wont scold us for watching “unholy” movies.

 

He closed his eyes and sighed, expressing exhaustion from the parental control his mother had over him and his sibling.

 

—She still does that? It's hard to believe you're almost an adult and she still makes you both watch whatevs she allows you to.

 

—Yeah, I know, and I'VE complained, but she won't listen. Guess I'll have to wait until I leave for college for her to stop.

 

Dess threw herself onto the couch, lying as she stretched herself along it. She kicked her legs a bit, reaching some random cushion and finally catching it with her hands. She gave it several turns with her fingers, waiting for Asriel to finish putting the DVD on the player.

 

—Dude… Do you have snackssss…?

 

—Snacks?—he looked at the way she was lying, at how elegant she looked even when she was relaxed… and he restrained himself from making a weird, or not so weird comment. Why the fuck did he even think of saying that…?—Maybe there's something on the cupboard.

 

She got up and went to the kitchen. She checked the things that were snacks in the cupboard. Country-styled chips… country-styled chips. Seems there wasn't anything more than that, if they wanted to eat anything that wasn't canned food such as peas, mushrooms or tuna fish.

 

—Azzy, the variety of the snacks… Not to be rude, but it kinda sucks ass, there's like… only a bag of chips.

 

—What?!—he confusedly replied.

 

He ran to the kitchen and looked, grabbing her shoulder and pushing her faintly to the side. His expression faded to a disappointed look and his hands went to his face in pure desperation.

 

—Kris… They probably ate the other ones. This kid has an insatiable appetite, Angel knows why. One day they'll eat us all—he said as an uncontrollable smile appeared on his face. He didn't hate his sibling, they were just… very chaotic sometimes.

 

—Well, we'll have to eat these then.

 

They were going to sit again normally, but they saw an intention in each other’s eyes of making a competition on who would have the most couch for them, as they did when they were younger.

 

She shifted her elbow lower to hit his flank. His eyes widened for a split second, and he lowered his head to try and push her by the shoulders.

 

—Ow! No horns, bro. That hurt a bit.

 

—It’s totally fair, you always got to poke me with your antlers when we were little.

 

—Poke? These don't even hurt, oh PLEASE —she struggled as she grabbed his forearm and tried to push it away.

 

—Oh, they sure hurt me and I remember —he teased in an exaggerated manner, pushing her legs to the side with his knee.

 

—Yeah, sure . You always remember everything supposedly. Who knows how many times you've lied about me hitting you when we were little kids.

 

—Zero? None?! I literally never did that. Kris is the one who does that.

 

—Ahaaaaa…—she heavily used her strength in her legs using the support of the sides of the couch, and leaned her back against his body. He was a bit bigger than her now, and it was becoming more difficult to push him, but she still had some strong muscles.

 

—You’re struggling with it? Guess I'll win in less than a minute.

 

—In YOUR dreams, Asriel Dreemurr, I never lose at this. NE- VERRR —she talked back as she shook her head tauntingly.

 

Quick thinking was something necessary at this game. Everything was valid.

He lowered his head again but this time to meet his eyes closer to hers, trying to make her a bit nervous with some unexpected eye contact, and hopefully she would eventually lose.

 

—What are you doing…?

 

He moved closer and squinted his eyes smugly.

 

—Guess.

 

—Guess…?

 

Her mind was thinking about the possible outcomes, and none of them calmed this moment of sudden nervousness. She glanced, timidly, to the floor.

 

—I’m going to blow air into your EYES. In the most annoying and uncomfortable way possible.

 

Her eyes firstly gave a quite upset look regarding the answer, as she expected something else to happen, but then she panicked.

 

—No, no… ANYTHING BUT THAT! IT FEELS HORRIBLE- DOoOoON’T!! AZZY, NO… STOOOOOPPP…!

 

Her strength weakened for some seconds and she lost, being crushed by her friend's back. She repeatedly hit him in the head with the cushion to take revenge.

 

—Hey! I didn’t even hit you.

 

—Yuh, but what about what you did? You know I hate it.

 

—If you say so…

 

—Wha- hold on, what do you mean?

 

He pretended he wasn’t hearing her and laid back, attempting to make her complain again.

 

—Quit it. Stop getting on my fucking nerves.

 

—Come onnnn… How come you always get to get on mine but I can’t?

 

—Do I?

 

—I mean-

 

—Do I, Azzy?

 

—YOU’RE DOING IT AT THIS RIGHT. EXACT. MOMENT!! UGHHH, next time you’re paying for the movie.

 

—You’re implying there’s gonna be “next times”? Then you aren’t as annoyed by me as you said.

 

—Maybe. I am used to your annoying side, and I’m not complaining that much about it. I need you to come over more often, just so you know.

 

—What was that-

 

He shoved, not too forcefully, a handful of chips into her mouth to shut her up. She rolled her eyes and wiped the crumbs off of her mouth. What was that for? This sudden… sincerity coming from him. She slowly crossed her arms as she slanted to the right- well, basically accepting the small space she had left for her after all the play-fighting.

 

Asriel wasn’t really that able to play dumb for so long, so after a minute or two, when he had already put the movie, he moved and let her sit more comfortably. 

 

—Dumbass.

 

His attention slowly went from the movie to her talking. He decided not to tease her back.

She suddenly felt contact over her head. It was… his hand again? As he slowly started caressing her hair affectionately, she couldn’t help but feel like melting because of it.

Her gaze softened and the frown slowly wore off, accompanied by a sigh. This felt more intimate than other times. They hadn’t been this close emotionally without talking until now. Azzy didn’t use to do this before. Was he finally catching up on the situation?

 

—You like that…?—he subtly whispered.

 

Her cheeks started blushing once again. She hesitated on telling him to shut up or something like that, yet, she gave in this time. If she kept acting rude and pretending she didn’t like him being this close to her, he would obviously not notice that she wanted something more.

 

—Mhm…—she silently acknowledged.

 

30 minutes into the movie, as they accepted in their minds that there was no way of going back now, they slowly started cuddling. Somehow, today was a bit windy, they blamed it on the cold weather… but the yearning for each other’s warmth had no other reason than the feelings between them.

 

Azzy started leaning his head onto her shoulder, even though it was a bit difficult due to his height (he was a bit taller than her, but not that much. Holidays were for sure a tall family). She felt courageous enough for a brief moment and planted a weak and quick kiss on his head. His eyebrows raised out of her visual field, the temperature of his body raised as well. He bashfully pulled her sleeve to bring her closer.

 

—Pffft, you wanted that so bad—she said teasingly.

 

—I… Nevermind.

 

—Ha!—she grabbed some chips and started eating them as she kept talking—You should’ve seen your face, dork.

 

He was sensing that teasing ambient again, and honestly, was tired of having to bear with it. He wanted to test the waters a bit more before doing anything more obvious. Although, this was such a tense moment. Would it be too risky, or… Fuck it.

 

He grasped her chin and slightly pressed his lips against her cheekbone.

 

—Now we’re talking—he unsuccessfully tried to make her more flustered than him, but he got so nervous when he just did THAT.

 

A silence formed between the two: first, because of the blushing messes they had become in that couch just now; and second, because some little knocks could be heard on the door.

 

—Oh- uhh… It must be Kris.

 

—Yeah, go open the door—she tried to hide her excitement while clearing her throat.

 

A little yellow human with a strangely familiar horn headband peeked behind the door, shyly.

 

—Hi Azzy! Oh, hi Dess! Whatcha watchin’??

 

—Don’t make yourself illusions, buddy. Mom won’t let you see it. Go to your room, pleaseee… How did the classes go?

 

—Nuh-huh, I’m telling mom YOU’RE watching it if y’all don’t let me.

 

The oldest ones exchanged confused looks. It was already hard to look at each other after that quick peck but Kris was being, no offense to them, such a pain in the ass right now.

 

—Alright, you can watch with us. Not a single word to mom about the movie, okay?

 

—Ooookay, Azzy—they happily replied.

 

As Kris sat with them, they noticed how the pair were awkwardly going back to cuddling. A not-that-mega-mean grin formed on their face as they giggled to themselves and they shifted to sit on the floor to let them cuddle peacefully. Their brother and Dess looked cute like that, they thought.

 

—What the heck are you doing?—said Dess, still with a dazed expression.

 

—I like to sit on the floor more. It’s cold and I like the feeling of the carpet on my hands, y’know. So I can like, pluck the strings on the ends. Feels nice.

 

—You’re weird—the others said in unison.

 

When the movie finished, Asriel offered to walk December home. They were way more touchy than usual walking there, but they still weren’t ready to kiss goodbye. Their lips still seemed forbidden to each other, so the confession couldn’t wait too long to happen. Both wanted to taste their true feelings as soon as possible. And their mouths, of course.

Notes:

ooookay this was like the longest chapter I've ever written on AO3 like everrrrr
they make me so fucking sick ewwwww I'm gonna vomit
lowkey jealous of their relationship gotta admit, wish that was meeEEEE YADAYADAYADA ALL THAT SHITTT
ffffffuckkkk theemmmmmmmmm fuck them so cornyyy euuuUUGHHHH EUGHHH AS IF I DIDN'T LITERALLY WRITE THE ENTIRETY OF THE FUCKING WHOLE FANFIC
how to stop daydreaming and making delusional scenarios that I mostly end up using for my fanfics google search NOW

Chapter 6: Staring contest (again...?)

Summary:

Another casual hangout...? Nah. These two AIN'T casual.

Asriel started a rant as he was lying in his bed in their shared bedroom, telling Kris about the homework they had to do on this break in his class. Kris listened from the other bed while they drew some doodles on a notebook.

 

—And, I don't understand this teacher! Do you think that what they did was normal, Kris? Kris…?

 

Kris was minding their business with their crayons, Asriel couldn't blame their distraction. They might not be blood siblings, but they surely share many things in common, such as art in this case. He was very proud of them, and hoped that his little sibling wouldn't give up on art in the future.

 

—Krisssyyyy…—he tried to bring their attention.

 

—What—they answered, still fixated on their drawing.

 

—What are you drawing this time?

 

—Uhh…—they doubted with an innocent tone—It’s a forest… with, umm… dogs playing catch. Yeah.

 

—Oh, that's cool! Let me see.

 

—No…

 

Their eyes averted him because they were kind of embarrassed to show their brother what they had drawn. They felt so inferior to him sometimes, like an outcast, perhaps. Not Azzy’s fault, tho. They admired him to an extreme level, although they teased him like siblings do every now and then.

 

—C’mon dude… You know I ain't gonna laugh at you. You've always had great ideas! Lemme see, bro.

 

They handed him the notebook, their eyes still averting his, and a slight tremble on their hand. A red and pink forest, the tops of the trees were made of scribbles. Blue balls hovering in the middle. The dogs were pretty stiff, but the effort put into the drawing could be observed.

 

—Aww. That's actually so pretty, Kris. Keep it up!

 

—Really?—they confusedly tilted their head.

 

—I swear to the Angel that I'm being honest.

 

He put his pinky up, and Kris approached him to interlock theirs too into a pinky promise.

Then, Azzy caught them into a hug that quickly turned into treason, mussing up their hair.

 

—Ow! Don't do that—they yelped.

 

—Why? It's funny.

 

—Yeah, but I don't like it, man! Jeez.

 

—Oookay, I'll leave you alone.

 

He went to his desk and turned on his computer.

 

—Kris, come here.

 

—Why?

 

—I want to show you something.

 

He clicked on a folder named “old”. The mouse shifted in between the archives, some ended in “.png”, some were still unexported on a drawing software format.

 

—You see, I wasn't good at art at the start. Look at this shit—he chuckled as he double clicked on a folder named “EPIC games Stuff!!!!”.

 

Another double click and a picture of a creature with giant rainbow wings probably drawn in MS Paint, popped up.

 

The scribbles made with the mouse were noticeable, the overuse of the circle tool was unbearable. Although it was very poorly drawn, with a skill of a 10 year old kid, it had some soul in it, surely.

 

—You know the character I usually use on D&D when I play with Dess? Well, its origins actually come from this drawing. I don't know, it has grown on me, I guess.

 

—God of Hyperdeath?

 

—Yeah. It used to look so edgy. Look at the “I'm-trying-to-be-cool” design compared to my poor art skills at the time. It's kind of giving me second hand embarrassment, but… It made me practice and get better. No one is born knowing how to draw perfectly and that's a constant process we're all in. Some drop off on drawing, others don't. So, the point is, Kris: don't give up on drawing or whatever you think you're not doing good enough. As long as you enjoy doing that thing, you shouldn't give up.

 

Kris hugged Azzy from behind the chair. They weren't very tall for now so they had to tip-toe to reach him. Sometimes, they found it difficult and complex to express intense emotions verbally, so they resorted to nonverbal ways of communicating those.

 

Azzy understood them and knew that was their way of saying they appreciated that very much, as they didn't do that sort of physical contact that often. They felt overwhelmed by it if they were stressed.

 

A hand ruffled through Kris’ dense shoulder length mane.

 

 

Asriel surely picked up a habit before this school break of hanging out on the evening with Dess, wherever they could. Mostly, it was going on walks and talking non stop about their things.

 

As usual, he searched for his keys on his drawer. Maybe he spent a little bit more time than he thought he did trying to fix his hair and his clothes, but he let the thought go back into the depths of his mind.

 

—Can I use your computer?

 

He rolled his eyes.

 

—How do you ask it…?

 

—Please…—they replied in a monotone voice as they mimicked their brother, rolling their eyes and sticking their tongue out.

 

—Of course you can, but don't install weird things as you did last time. You gave me an adware and nasty ads wouldn't stop showing on desktop!! Mom thought it was my fault for looking at… Angel knows what she supposed it was, and she grounded me instead of you.

 

—It was a Cat Petterz mod!! What did you want me to do…—they pouted.

 

—Okay, enough arguing, Dess is waiting for me. See ya later, alligator.

 

—In a while, crocodile. Don't kiss eachother too much or I'll tell mom.

 

—What…?—his head turned around with the same speed as an owl’s one would do, eyes opened wide and mouth agape.

 

They simply grinned mischievously as their eyes squinted, pretending they were still very concentrated in their drawing.

 

—Bro, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT???

 

Their head tilted up slightly as they turned the page.

 

—Saw you kiss the other day—they stuck their tongue out slyly again.

 

His mouth couldn't form a coherent sentence. They saw that from the window, surely. Fuck.

 

—It… It wasn't kissing, dude.

 

—Yes it was.

 

—Not on the mouth.

 

—Yeah, but still.

 

—Still what?

 

—It was kissing. As boyfriend-girlfriend kissing.

 

—NO!? We're BFFs and that's it. Bros give eachother affection, you know.

 

—Bro-kissing is it? So, why were you both nervous when I arrived? Huhhhh?

 

He gave them that so familiar annoyed Dreemurr-glare.

 

—I myself don't know what was going on that day so, not a single word to anyone. Is that clear?

 

—Right…—they heavily pronounced the “R” with a questioning attitude, just for the fun and whimsy of annoying their brother—I’ll tell mom anyways if you do.

 

He shut the door loudly and rushed down the stairs. He didn't want to hear Kris once more as an exact copy of Jiminy Cricket chirping next to his ear.

 

For sure, Kris had a point. BFFs wouldn't cut it anymore. BFFs as a term alone wasn't enough for BFFs that couldn't help but move a bit closer each time they were together. He sensed it, he wasn't dumb. 

 

That fiddling with his hands she lately did with a silly excuse to do so. That “stay over for a bit more” every time he went to her house, usually accompanied with a yank towards her guitar and her throwing herself in top of the bed, to which routine he couldn't help but join her. Those averting looks if his face seemed too close. Her voice loosening and becoming sweeter to him as years passed by, far away from the first times they met.

 

He recalled a younger Dess who he wasn't close with at that time, in choir at church. She didn't enjoy singing the hymns too much, but she put effort in the activity. Her long wavy hair draped over her shoulders, which were covered by a blue cotton dress, knee length.

 

She had no antlers. Nor a snout like her parents and little sister, who was still too young to join choir. Nor a tail. “What is she?” he wondered, with the innocence of a six year old. She looked physically similar to his little sibling, but there were some things different about her. Krismas had more of a yellowish hue on their skin, while her's was darker. So was her hair, couldn't tell if it was a dark brown or something close to a dark beet color. Kris’ was more of a chestnut tone. She had some freckles beneath her eyes, thick eyebrows and some long lashes next to some hazel brown eyes. When she looked at anyone, everyone could say her gaze was penetrating or intense.

 

As they were singing not too far apart from eachother, December sensed his glare. She turned to her right and frowned at him, and resumed her harmony.

 

His back tensed and he started sweating a bit. Did that come off as mean? He hoped she wouldn't punch him or something like that after church. His parents told him they were all meeting each other today. All the kids, both from the Holidays family and the Dreemurrs. So that meant he had to behave with them, and what just happened wasn't a good start.

 

The hymn ended, and so did mass.

 

The two families headed to QC’s, the parents talking with each other. While Kris and Noelle were already asking each other dumb toddler questions, their respective older siblings couldn't relate. They awkwardly walked, distancing themselves as far as they could without their parents complaining.

 

December sighed to show her clear boredom. Asriel felt a bit left out and a ton of questions started to fill his mind just to break this unnecessary tension that was in the air and was boiling his brain.

 

—So, how are you doing in school?

 

—Good—the reply was dry as a desert.

 

—I’m doing well, too.

 

An uncomfortable silence between them again.

 

—Can you stop staring at me already?

 

—Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to earlier.

 

—Why where you staring at me?

 

—No particular reason, you just looked…

 

—Weird? Oh, come on. I know, you don't need to tell me.

 

—No, no. Absolutely not!—his face became even more worried. He was making everything worse at this point.

 

She saw the genuine worry on his face. She chose not to reply and let him explain himself.

 

—It’s just that I've never seen another human than my sibling—he said, concluding his confusion from before and assuming she was an adopted human too.

 

—Who said I'm human? My antlers didn't grow yet, duh. That's offensive, you know. Your horns aren't there as well. Do I suppose you're a human just because you don't have horns?

 

—Oh, sorry.

 

—Stop saying sorry, at least you're kind about it. Other kids mock me for not having grown anything yet.

 

He knew she wasn't going to grow anything in a natural way, but he didn't want to upset her. It was sad that other kids were bullying her for not being a monster. They all were kids, weren't they? Did it really matter what they were?

 

—They do?

 

—Yeah.

 

—That’s not fair…

 

—I know. I wish they didn't care.

 

—I don't.

 

For the first time in that afternoon, her eyes met his with comfort and without fear.

Still not a trace of a smile from December, but there was some light in her eyes at least.

 

As their parents talked, Azzy and Dess tried to get to know each other better.

 

—So, what do you like to do?—she started the conversation this time.

 

—Well, I normally draw sometimes in my room and play videogames with Kris. They're bad at some of them, tho—he snickered.

 

—Noelle’s just the same. I sometimes give her a rip-off or an unplugged controller and pretend we're on multiplayer mode, or we will lose most of the time.

 

—No way, I do the same.

 

They started cackling and kept talking more peacefully than before.

 

 

 

Back to the present, he was just a minute away from her. She laid on top of the bunker; head thrown back, looking at the sunset; hair dangling on uneven strands, over the door; and arms stretched along the border full of grass.

 

She distractedly hummed a melody that was very recurrent in her dreams, maybe she could use it to compose a song.

 

 

Abstracted from reality, she didn't notice Asriel was already there. When she did, she fossilized for a brief moment, her expression identical to someone who had just been woken up with a bucket of freezing water.

 

—What were you singing?

 

—Nothing.

 

—Hmm, okay. Even though you have been doing that for at least thirty seconds. Seems pretty much more than nothing to me.

 

—Pfft, you win. It's something I came up with.

 

He laid next to her, one leg over hers in an attempt to invite her to come closer.

 

—Hey!—she slid her leg to escape from his.

 

She got up and sat on the border, moving her feet in imaginary circles in the air.

 

Azzy didn't move, he stayed still on the ground. That clearly annoyed her, so he wouldn't insist.

 

Then, a small but strong hand reached his shoulder. She scooted closer.

 

—You know? I've been wondering something lately.

 

—Hmm? Spit it out.

 

—My mother insists A TON on me to play any instrument that isn't guitar. And honestly, I don't give a fuck about it… I enjoy the guitar so much more than anything else, I really hope I can do something successful with it. So… would you be up to…

 

—What?

 

—I mean, since you've sung with me so many times these years… Would you be up to start a duo with me?

 

A silence only interrupted by the rustle of leaves appeared between them.

 

—If you don't want to, it's okay!! Sure, I can ask anybody e-

 

—Don’t.

 

—You don't want to?

 

—Dess, I- I don't mean that. I do want to. Very much, in fact. Why didn't you ask earlier?

 

—Really?!

 

He sat and scrutinized her face.

 

—What’s this?

 

His fingers trailed across her cheekbone, finding a… bruise again?

She was oblivious to the cause of his worry, as she leaned into his palm longingly.

 

—Huh? What do you mean?

 

—Oh, nothing. It was some dirt.

 

He decided not to alarm her. He knew what probably had happened to Dess, and mentioning it right now could make her even more upset. It was something that was more correct to bring up in another moment, and the best he could do to help her was trying to lighten up her mood. Carol was clearly insisting a ton, to the point it was getting physical sometimes.

 

—Then, when would we start to practice?—he requested without putting his hand away, caressing her very lightly so she wouldn’t feel any pain.

 

A faint smile from her manifested as her eyes drifted to his touch, and then, she met his questioning look.

 

—I don’t know, you tell me.

 

Cautiously, his hand let go of her face and slid until he reached her upper arm; and got up as she lifted her, inviting her to follow him.

 

—Would you mind if I said right now?

 

—Well, my parents aren't home today. They went to the movies, so my mom won’t be nagging around.

 

They made their way to the Holidays’ house. Dess pulled her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the fence. Azzy knew his way around there because he had been visiting her place more times than his mother or hers knew. This habit of sneaking out to see each other in their houses since they were thirteen was growing into them.

 

As they opened the door, some instruments thrown on the floor could be seen. They were dented and didn’t seem to be used that much.

December immediately laid on the carpet; full of random things, given that she didn't tidy up her bedroom; and searched beneath the bed.

 

—Aha! Here they are—she announced as she grabbed some wrinkled papers.

 

Asriel laughed coyly.

 

—Why are they so messy…?

 

Her eyebrows furrowed and she ignored the taunt while she searched for the good options in between that big mess of paper.

 

—None of your business.

 

—I didn’t mean to come off as mean… I was just asking.

 

—Yeah, whatever, but that dorky laugh of yours gives it away. Shut up or I’ll throw these to your head.

 

—Okay—a ball almost reached him, thrown with the ability of a baseball player (as she was).

 

—Warned you.

 

—I DIDN’T EVEN SAY A COMPLETE SEN—another ball, this time to his stomach. He caught it.

 

Taking advantage of this, he threw the projectile back towards her antlers.

 

—Stop!!

 

—YOU STARTED IT!!!

 

—You laughed at me!

 

—Okay, enough, let’s focus.

 

He picked up a badly traced drawing wrinkled up into a ball.

 

—Dess, what's this…?

 

She tried to get the drawing back as if she was hiding a secret document of the government.

 

—NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, I SAID.

 

Asriel didn't loosen his grip. He enjoyed seeing her embarrassed from time to time, certainly.

 

—Is it that important that I mustn't see this?

 

—YES?? GIVE IT BACK, ASRIEL.

 

—Woah, I've noticed that if I annoy you enough you'll call me Asriel and not Azzy. How RUDE—he made a last comeback.

 

Dess tugged his arm in an attempt of making him lose balance, fall and make a tie in this embarrassing-each-other competition, and to get the ball back. Little did she know that if she had thought it before, it would've been better to push him rather than pull him.

 

He tripped on his right leg and his chest collapsed against her bed; leaving her sitting in the smallest place possible between the mattress, the floor and his body, which she couldn't help but awkwardly and flusteredly stare at.

 

—Very focused, aren't we?—he whispered in a trying-to-look-cool-as-fuck tone but failing miserably as it came out with an annoyed and very bashful one instead.

 

She hated how she could feel her face turning from a tan skin to a pinker shade that she had never reached before. But, all she could do this time in place of making fun of his intervention and pretend like nothing didn't happen, was to stare directly at his avoiding eyes and make a difference in this occasion.

 

Her hands shifted faint-heartedly from the floor to the collar of his shirt, trembling almost unnoticeably but enough for her best friend of ten years to notice, who already saw her as petrified as this many times. Mostly when they were sneaking around in the dark when they shouldn't, or when they saw a movie they ended up being more than scared of when they were little… That innocent kind of look in the eyes that only someone who knows a big part of your biggest fears does notice.

 

He could see some traces of guilt inside her pupils. Why did she even feel guilty? Why would someone like her have those traces, if the only thing they were doing right now was being close and more intimate. Was it even bad? Was it wrong? Why would it be? What or how long would it take to take that look from off her face? This was way easier years ago. They would both brush the fear off by being by each other's side. But now, they couldn't brush it off because the thing causing the fear was themselves. Not fearing that they could lose what they had been in the past, but what all of this could end up being. It was surely difficult to go back.

 

All those tiny moments, those slight and shy touches, those brief looks and the moments their voices became devoted to each other in their throats, spoke and mattered more to them than if they had kissed or made out sooner. So then, why were they so afraid of losing everything when “nothing” had happened yet? Why did they both feel like they had to take the blame for letting their relationship go further?

 

He let his back relax and his feelings tether him to the ground.

 

Her hands drifted smoothly towards his shoulders, waiting for a reaction, for a sign that what she was feeling at the moment was playing in his mind too. That numbness in her head that made her vision blurry from the overflow of words that her mouth wanted to not speak, but spit from the sourness all those years of denying formed.

 

Despite their awkward position, both kneeling and one slightly leaning forward, they didn't want to separate. This staring contest wasn't interrupted this time by blowing air into their eyes.

 

—I like it better when you wear them— she said as she placed his hair away from his glasses.

 

—Is that so…?

 

She nodded, almost blind from the excitement from being that close and the darkness in her bedroom that the lightbulb blinking was causing.

 

—Why don't you wear them more often?

 

—I don't know, it's… uncomfy, I guess? My nose bridge hurts but, to be honest, the contact lenses hurt my eyes more. Same question to you, haven't seen you wearing them for a long while.

 

He didn't catch the hint. Was it even possible at this point to try and flirt with this guy… Was he oblivious on purpose??

 

—Can I borrow yours for a moment?

 

—Y-yeah…? Sure—he said with a slight quiver in his voice, never had been heard more confused.

 

Instead of putting them on, she folded them and started sliding them along his jawline, lifting his chin, beckoning him to come closer.

 

Dess was tired of waiting for this man to fucking make a move, even though she felt that if she did she would be chased by a pride of two thousand starving lions.

 

The same embarrassed and annoyed face that he saw the day they first met was now one inch away from his. Same furrowed brows, same hazel iris, same smile lines… though she was trying to pull the straightest face ever made.

 

He sighed, still seeing that fear in the back of her mind.

 

—Do you mind if we stay like this?—she asked.

 

He didn't respond, and leaned his forehead against hers, their horns and antlers each second nearer to getting stuck. Thankfully, that didn't happen. It wouldn't be a big issue since she could simply take the headband off.

 

As they were staring intermittently and unconsciously at their eyes and then their mouths, December reached with her palm the fiber of the carpet. As some kind of way to keep touch with reality. Her bangs against his were making a swishy noise, that broke the seriousness on her and she finally was able to do what she yearned for: to let her feelings flow normally for once.

 

He searched for some sort of signal that the girl was okay with all of this without having to ask directly, since he was clearly cowered by the whole situation. Although, his thoughts were suddenly outed by his own voice, hesitation following every single letter.

 

—Are you afraid?

 

—Of what?

 

—Us.

 

—Why- what? Should I- uh… are you?!

 

—I am, at least.

 

Nothing but the sound of the ticking clock downstairs and the clicking of buttons from Noelle's room.

 

—I’m afraid, too—she exhaled without moving her face away, her eyes instinctively narrowing.

 

The glasses she had in her other hand clicked against the floor when they finally closed the space between them. Surely it wasn't the smartest position to make out, but it was their first time.

 

As messy as teenagers could be, they started mutually pecking their lips. Insecure, quiet. Feeling that uneasiness about if their lips felt chapped to the other person. Pathetic, almost crumbling down from how weak their limbs felt with the tension.

 

Six months of reciprocal and denied hunger were expecting to be fed, but oh, who knew how to fill that void right now with little to no experience? Them.

 

They mentally crossed their fingers and hoped Noelle wouldn't knock on the door as they were too busy to lock it right now.

 

Dess laid back and stumbled against the bedframe, her dark-auburn hair spread on the sheets as her head vaguely fell back.

Her hands wandered, with little faith in herself, to the back of his neck and tried to pull him into deeper contact, not necessarily only a kiss. She wanted him to trust her, to know that she allowed this. That, for the first time in years, she felt safe enough to do this. He turned his head and clumsily took his retainer off, then tossed it somewhere in the room.

 

As intended, they slowly, sloppily exchanged the pecks for actual kisses, trying to feel more of the other’s presence. It wasn't only a bit of lust that ignited this need, but also for the sake of discovering further into their friendship, relationship, or whatever kind of doomed interaction these two always had had that maintained them tied together.

 

Breaths became heavier and the sighs turned into light panting. Asriel allowed her hands to bring him as close as she could to her body, having to move his legs a bit from the previous position to not hurt themselves. This was actually more enjoyable for both, but it wasn't enough.

 

Their arms tried to reach at the same time for the bed accidentally, making them laugh in between all the kissing and turning the moment more natural and personal.

 

—Let’s get in there…—she tried to conjure some words that quickly vanished into mumbles. They were a lost cause in this field for now, their feelings took over their usual dexterity on other activities.

 

—Dess… Are you high?—he joked.

 

—Uhhh… Kind of…?

 

—Ha, ok.

 

The sounds coming out of them were rougher than before, but still tried to be silent.

 

—Mhm… No. I'm dead serious.

 

He broke the kiss.

 

—What.

 

He felt his heart dropping in his chest for a second, but it didn't matter right now.

 

—Oh, so that's why you smelt a bit like weed, isn't it. You prolly smoked it when I wasn't there yet, didn't you.

 

—Yeah, now- shut the fuck up, church boy.

 

They kept going at it. Now, the bed was way better than the floor. Here they wouldn't feel the wood of the bed stabbing their backs and hands. Well, maybe in the top of their heads now, bumping against it occasionally, but they didn't care.

 

—Why didn't we do this… earlier?—he desperately asked as his voice shook when he tried to talk, because she wouldn't stop pulling him back into her mouth every time he tried to speak.

 

—I don't knowwww…—she whined—Get back here.

 

—Can we stop for, like, one minute?—he said as he panted on top of her, arms extended in exhaustion as he laid his head sideways on her chest.

 

—Ookay, Azzy, whatevs ya say…

 

Her eyes were not that red but it was something that he could tell in the dimming light. He lifted his head, resting it not too far from his friend's.

 

—You should get some water, you know?

 

—Oh, not yet, Az. I don't want to lose this confidence I'm having right now. Let me be high for a while, both on the weed… and you, perhaps.

 

He felt guilty for his friend, maybe in the future he could make her quit smoking, he feared it would ruin the voice he adored listening to. But, he let that slip today.

 

She hummed that melody that she sang on the bunker.

 

—Oh, right. We should rehearse, don't you think?

 

He didn't sound very convinced, so neither did she.

 

—Are you like, the stupidest man alive? I think we both have more important issues to resolve right now than making music, no matter how big my love for it is.

 

—We should write the lyrics later. Maybe another day.

 

—Are you up for repeating this whenever we're both free? And home alone, of course, our mothers would fucking stab us—she smiled snarkily.—Rehearsing included.

 

—Maaaybe… maybe Dess, maybe.

 

They were both obviously tired from a half an hour making out session, so they gave up for now on picking up the guitar and Dess followed him to the front door.

 

—Well. Bye, I guess? Text me later, pleaseee…

 

—Only if I get one more from you—she muttered.

 

—One what?

 

—KISS, DUMBASS—a jab was thrown into his guts, he consequently yelped.

 

—Okay, it could have been birds, cows, houses—he was interrupted by a quick kiss again.

 

Every piece of matter nearby was pissed off by his constant yapping, OF COURSE it wasn't very surprising that he didn't get no game until now. Only his best friend could bear with this level of info dumping, even when getting a bit freakier.

 

—Bye, church boy.

 

—Bye, edgy fawn.

 

These nicknames stuck with them since they started going together in elementary.

 

She was secretly watching from the window and couldn't help but laugh at him tripping on a rock midway to the fence.

 

Crazy to believe that they were not 6 years old anymore, and they now absolutely could stand staring at the other for hours without being afraid of one beating the shit out of the other.

Notes:

FINALLY THEY FUCKING MADE OUT. AND IT DOESN'T END HERE DON'T WORRY GUYYYYSS. THERE'LL BE MORE, even though I've gotta get better at it, my experience both on writing these type of things and experiencing them is an absolute nothing, LMAO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SLIGHT LIME I KNOW IT'S SO BAAAAAD (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)
oh and yeeaaaah I changed a few words on previous chapters and made it very clear in this one that this fanfic has the theory/headcanon that Dess is human. I hope it convinces y'all...? (⁠ꏿ⁠﹏⁠ꏿ⁠;⁠) (⁠ꏿ⁠﹏⁠ꏿ⁠;⁠)