Declassified

by dreamwritesimagines

Summary:

Politics is a game that requires secrets, just like love.

Chapter 1: Declassified

Summary:

Working overtime has its surprising moments.

There were many things one could say about working in politics.

It consumed your whole life, for starters. It wasn’t the type of work that you could leave at the office and go home to relax, you had to be informed and ready to work at any hour of the day. It was stressful, it was chaotic, it was insane, but God damn it, you loved the adrenaline rush.

You stormed into Bucky’s office, waving your phone in the air like a flag.

“He fucked up!” you exclaimed. “He fucked up!”

Bucky exchanged glances with Sam who looked as clueless as he was, and turned to you. “Hm?”

“He fucked up!”

“I heard what you said, who fucked up?”

You grinned and held the phone to your eye level.

“After the news article uncovering the CEO’s donations to the city council member, the construction in Bedford Avenue has been halted—”

“Can I see that?”

“I’m not reading anything, this is a video of cute foxes,” you admitted, turning the screen to him. “I just saw the article on my laptop and rushed here like Paul Revere. I figured it would make me look more professional if I pretended to read it from my phone.”

Sam raised his brows. “You could’ve found the website on your way here?”

“I was in a hurry.”

“You could’ve printed the article out, there are like one hundred computers out there,” Bucky said and both you and Sam turned to look at him better.

“Print it out just to show you?” Sam asked as if he wanted to make sure he heard him right and Bucky nodded.

“Yeah, why not?”

You heaved a sigh. “No wonder why we have to get phishing training every week if this is the pace you keep up with the technology.”

“I was born in 1917.”

“And I was in a hurry,” you insisted. “Besides, you can’t judge me for my actions in the past, I put that behind me.”

 “The couple of seconds you spent walking here from your desk doesn’t count as the past, and there’s nothing wrong with printing things out, for the record.”

“I’ll just send you the articles as handwritten letters.”

Sam let out a chuckle and stood up.

“Good job on the Bedford Avenue.”

“Why thank you,” you said with a bright smile and he nodded at Bucky.

“And we’ll see you tonight?”

“Absolutely, tell Sarah I said hi.”

“Will do,” Sam said and walked out of the office while you plopped down on the chair across from Bucky’s desk, your eyes glued to your phone before a laugh escaped your lips.

“Another article,” you said. “This feels better than actually having sex, do you know what this means?”

“I know it doesn’t mean anything good for your boyfriend.”

You waved a hand in the air.

“Shut it—this dude is one of the biggest donors for the opposition. If they shut down the construction, they’ll drag him to court.”

“Seems that way.”

“Which means he will be dragged through the mud and then we’re going to win—” You slammed your hand on the coffee table. “Bow down bitches!”

Bucky repressed a smile and you took a deep breath, leaning back on the chair.

“People seem to think his wife is also involved,” you said. “Wouldn’t surprise me if they got a divorce.”

“Are you always this delighted at others’ misfortune?”

“When they’re pouring money to our opposition, yes I am,” you said. “I’ve been competitive ever since I lost that first grade spelling bee.”

“No wonder you didn’t put that on your resume.”

“My point about not being judged for my past,” you told him, making him chuckle.

“Fair.”

“So you’re meeting Sam and Sarah tonight?”

“For dinner, yeah. It’s been a while since I saw Cass and AJ.”

“Aw, they’re the cutest!”

“How about you?” he asked. “Any plans with the uh-with the boyfriend?”

 You pursed your lips, then shrugged your shoulders.

“I did, but he’s too busy for tonight so we postponed it.”

He tilted his head, frowning in confusion and you sat up straighter.

“It’s nothing,” you said. “It’s just, one of the senior partners at the firm he works at, apparently he’s dating an ex-employee so it’s a shit show.”

“Why?”

“Boss and employee. Doesn’t matter how in love they are.”

“You said an ex-employee.”

“Oh yeah, she started working somewhere else a while ago, but it doesn’t matter,” you said. “Ex or not, dating an employee or your boss is like, the worst thing anyone could ever do. It’s business suicide.”

Bucky swallowed and nodded fervently.

“Yeah!” he said. “Yeah that makes sense. Because who would—I mean you’d never.”

You grimaced, thinking about Bucky’s campaign manager who happened to be your boss at the moment.

“I’d start screaming,” you said. “And also, apparently he’s older than her? Which, don’t get me wrong, I love listening to Lana Del Rey as much as anyone but a ten-year age gap?”

Bucky blinked a couple of times, then nodded again.

“Right,” he said. “That’s a lot. That’s a decade.”

“Exactly.” You crossed your fingers and looked up at the ceiling. “I keep Pedro Pascal out of that generalization, universe. I do not care how old he is, he is the exception, send him my way.”

“Do I want to know who he is?”

“Everyone should know who he is,” you told him and checked your phone again. “I need to get to the bottom of this CEO thing, doesn’t hurt to be well-informed.”

“Have you taken a break today?”

“I’ll take a break in DC—” you started but turned your head when the campaign manager knocked on the door, and peeked his head in.

“Hey, got a minute?”

Bucky looked at you as if asking for permission and you jumped on your feet.

“I was just leaving,” you said. “But hey, you owe me one.”

“I owe you plenty,” Bucky said with a small smile that made your heart skip a happy beat and you lingered there for a moment before making your way out of the office, biting back a grin.

---

 Fine, maybe you were a bit of a workaholic but in your defense, the campaign was going so well, so this was the least you could do to make sure Bucky would win.

You repressed a yawn, stealing a look at the city lights shining in the night before turning your attention to the screen, but your head shot up when you noticed someone entering the bullpen. Your stomach did a pleasant flip and you sat up straighter, taking your earbuds out.

“Hey.”

“You’re not going to listen to me if I tell you to go home, are you?” Bucky asked and you stretched out your arms, making a face.

“Nope,” you said. “What are you doing here? I thought you left.”

“I did, but I forgot something in my office,” he said, leaning back to the empty desk across from yours and you hummed.

“You do realize you could’ve asked someone to bring it to you?”

“I’m not gonna do that,” he said as if the idea was ridiculous before looking around the empty bullpen. It was mostly dark, illuminated by only the light of the screens and the city outside, and you couldn’t help but notice just how handsome—

Objectively, that was.

He was objectively a handsome man.

“Hm?” You snapped out of your daze when you realized he had asked you a question and he shot you a look.

“Did you take a break today?”

“Yeah I stepped outside for five minutes,” you said. “It’s plenty.”

Bucky blinked a couple of times. “I’m begging you to go home.”

“I will after I’m finished with this.” You gestured at the screen and then snapped your fingers. “Before I forget…”

You grabbed the printed out news article on your desk and handed it to him, making him let out a chuckle.

“Seriously?”

“Mm hm.”

“Thanks, I guess?”

“And your speech for tomorrow—the edited version, I printed that out and Caleb took it to your place so that you can go over it after dinner, I know you like adding stuff in the margins,” you said. “You sent a fruit basket and a personal get well soon card to Commissioner Michaels, he had a small accident, nothing important, and also you sent flowers to Ellen Cooper, she wrote that nice article about you and apparently her daughter just graduated college.”

Bucky tilted his head. “I did all that?”

“Well no, I did all that,” you said. “But I can fake your signature and your handwriting, so as far as they’re concerned, it’s from you.”

“How do you do all this?” he asked and you wiggled your brows.

“I’m a genius,” you said and paused for a moment. “My psychiatrist has a different theory but I like mine better.”

 The smile on Bucky’s face was soft, a gentle gleam playing in his piercing blue eyes as he stared at you, then frowned to himself.

“I uh—I got you something.”

You could feel your heart slamming against your ribcage. “I’m sorry?”

He reached into his jacket to pull a tiny fox figure out of his inner pocket, a burst of laughter bubbling in your chest before it spilled from your lips and he put the figure on your desk while you covered your mouth, a warmth dripping in your chest.

“You mentioned you like foxes so…”

You pressed a hand on your chest, smiling wide as you took it to your hand to see it better.

“Aw, thank you!” you said. “You know, I’m gonna adopt a fox one day.”

“I don’t think you can do that.”

“I work in politics, I’ll just bribe a politician or something,” you brushed him off and put the figure on the desk again. “He is so sweet! I’ll call him Bucky.”

 “Please don’t.”

“Buchanan.”

“Also no.”

“I do not take constructive criticism at this point in my life, shut it,” you said, pointing a finger at him and he held up his hands, gesturing surrender.

“Fine, fine…” he said and you let out a giggle.

“But seriously, thank you,” you said. “I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it,” Bucky said with a shrug of his shoulders and you nibbled on your lip, still staring up at him. He held your gaze in his before he took a deep breath, and cleared his throat.

“I should—I should go,” he said and you tried to ignore the disappointment at the pit of your stomach.

“Oh right, tell Sarah and Sam I said hi,” you said. “And kiss Cass and AJ for me.”

“Of course,” he said. “I’ll send Dave here, he can drive you home when you’re done.”

You shook your head. “Bucky, I can just—”

“You’re not going home by yourself at this hour.”

“I’ll be fine—”

“I won’t be, because I’ll be worried about you,” he said, making your heart skip a beat. “Please?”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Okay.”

“Thank you,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

You nodded.

“Sure,” you said. “See you tomorrow.”

Your eyes followed him as he walked out of the bullpen and you heaved a sigh before taking the fox figure into your hand again, a smile warming your face. You stared at it, then swallowed thickly and put the figure on the desk again.

“Get your shit together,” you muttered to yourself, brushing a hand over your face. “You have stuff to do.”

Chapter 2: Retaliation

Summary:

Actions have consequences.

Notes:

Warnings: Unwanted touching in the workplace (nothing graphic but please be careful reading it) , mentions of vaping, mentions of violence

It wasn’t very often that you were late to work, and if it were any other time you would be rushing inside, darting past everyone but your therapist had been very insistent about you taking some time early in the morning to ground yourself, so here you were; outside the building, focused on your breathing.

“I am healthy, I am wealthy,” you said, inhaling and exhaling slowly. “I am rich, I am that bitch—”

“What are you doing?”

You jumped out of your skin, your eyes snapping open with a gasp to see Bucky watching you with a curious look in his eyes. You let out a breath, pressing a hand over your chest.

“You scared me!”

“Sorry about that.” Bucky gave you an apologetic smile. “I wasn’t trying to sneak up on you, it’s a force of habit. What are you doing?”

You gestured at the building.

“It’s gonna be chaos in there,” you said. “I didn’t have time to do my affirmations this morning so I’m doing them before I walk in.”

“Affirmations?”

“Yeah, I usually do them in front of the mirror but like I said, didn’t have time,” you said. “I’m almost done, I’ll be right there.”

“It’s okay, I can wait,” Bucky said and you shrugged your shoulders, then closed your eyes again and clasped your hands in front of you.

“I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am rich, I am that bitch,” you recited. “If the world is a high school, I’m the head cheerleader. If the world is a knee, I’m Tonya Harding. If the world is an open buffet, I’m a damn snack. I have the confidence of an evil tech bro and the looks of a pretty princess, and I get princess treatment from the universe.”

You opened your eyes to find Bucky staring at you in utter confusion, but as soon as he realized you were finished, he nodded his head fervently.

“Uh—” He seemed at a loss for words. “Amen?”

You pursed your lips to control your smile, then walked into the building with him following you.

“How come you didn’t have time this morning?” he asked and you hummed.

“Me and the rest of the team went to karaoke last night,” you said. “Got plastered, and the last thing I remember is me and Kelsey trying to sing Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Bucky let out a chuckle and followed you to your desk. “Isn’t Queen a bit too old for you?”

“Queen is goddamn timeless, take that back.”

“No I’m surprised you know—”

“I’m also surprised you know Queen, it’s a bit too new for you,” you teased him back as Caleb put a file on your desk.

“There you go Birdie.”

“Caleb!”

Bucky raised his brows. “Birdie?”

“She sings like a bird, I’ll send you the video,” Caleb replied with a grin and you pointed at him.

“I’ll kill you once I’m off the clock.”

“With your voice?”

“With a knife,” you said and he feigned a gasp, then walked away from you. You let out a whine.

“I’m never going to live this down, am I?”

“Don’t think so Birdie.”

“I will kill you too,” you told Bucky as he shot you a smirk that made your stomach do a pleasant flip. “I’m serious. I have tricks you don’t even know about.”

“I’m very intimidated.”

“You should be,” you said and turned your laptop on, then clicked on a file. “By the way, you have a meeting with Mr. Thompson today, are you prepared?”

Bucky made a face. “I don’t really like that guy.”

“And unfortunately politics doesn’t care about who you like,” you said, your eyes glued to the screen as you attached the file to the email. “We can use him and his connections, so play nice alright?”

“No promises—”

“Yes promises.” You glared at him. “Yes promises right now.”

Bucky groaned and threw his head back. “But listen—”

“Go look over the email I sent you, it has everything you need for your meeting with him.”

“When did you send me an email?”

“Just now.”

“You’re talking to me right now, how did you—?”

“I’m great at my job, that’s how,” you told him and pointed at his office without taking your eyes off the screen. “Go. He will be here in two hours.”

If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought the infamous Winter Soldier, the future Congressman, the great Bucky Barnes was sulking but he walked away without protest, making you repress a smile.

By the time Mr. Thompson’s meeting with Bucky was over, it was nearly lunch time. Caleb and Kelsey were already vaping outside, and you sent the email you had been working on for the last couple of minutes, then grabbed your purse to leave the office, your eyes still glued to your phone. Your whole focus was on the news article about Bucky, so you didn’t even realize the man who was about to step out the door as well until you bumped into him and your head shot up.

“Oh, sorry about that Mr. Thompson!” you said and gave him an apologetic smile. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“Oh no no, after you,” he said and you passed by him but as soon as you did, you felt his hand on your butt. Your whole body froze, your stomach lurching with the sudden panic that crashed onto you out of nowhere while he walked past you, his driver opening the door for him. You stared at his car until it drove off, your eyes burning with unshed tears, bile coating the back of your throat but you forced yourself to swallow, tightening your jaw.

“Hey, you ready?” Kelsey asked, the blueberry scent of her vape filling your lungs as you took a deep breath, then blinked back the tears.

“Sure!” You tried to smile. “Let’s—let’s go.”

---

You couldn’t even decide who you were angry at more.

He was a perverted asshole, that was for sure, but now that you were thinking about it, you should’ve yelled at him.

Or slapped him.

Or did something other than freezing in your spot like an idiot.                                       

The tension hadn’t left your body for the whole day, no matter how much you tried to focus on work. All you wanted was to go home and take a long shower and bury yourself under the covers, so once everyone started to leave the office, you grabbed the file and knocked on Bucky’s door.

“Hey, here are the files for tomorrow,” you rasped out and put them on his desk. “I’m gonna leave if that’s all.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t look okay.”

If it were any other time, you would’ve come up with a snarky comment but you were way too tired to do so.

“Um, I just want to go home if you don’t need me for the rest of the evening.”

Bucky stood up from behind his desk to approach you, his pleasant scent tickling your nose.

“What happened?” he asked softly and you bit inside your cheek.

“Nothing.”

“Listen, if it were any other time I would be thrilled to see you leave on time for once, but not like this,” he said. “What is it?”

You shifted your weight, your eyes cast on the desk just so that you could focus on something other than the threat of tears tingling the bridge of your nose.

“Just a bad day I guess.”

“Who’s responsible for that?”

You rolled your eyes at him playfully, the dread in your stomach easing just a little.

“Why, are you gonna go Winter Soldier on them?”

“If needed.” His voice didn’t hold a teasing tone unlike before, instead it was almost dark. “Who?”

You let out a bitter laugh. “We’re making you a congressman, you can’t do the whole scary super assassin thing anymore—”

“Who?” he repeated and you heaved a sigh.

“You were right about Mr. Thompson,” you muttered. “He is an asshole who pretends to be a gentleman. Apparently he holds the door open for you with his left hand to feel you up with his right hand.”

The moment the words left your lips, something in his eyes shifted, making you frown in confusion before your heart started beating in your throat.

Ah.

There.

Ever since you started working for Bucky, Winter Soldier had been a popular topic among your friends. They all kept insisting that it gave him the perfect air of mystery and danger, and that it made him even hotter. You weren’t an idiot, you knew very well just how handsome he was, how he stood out among all the politicians – or anyone else in the room, to be honest— but up until this point, you had never seen any trace of the infamous Winter Soldier in him. For you, Bucky was your very, very attractive boss who was genuinely so protective, so honest and so good to people around him that sometimes you wondered if he was even fit for the dirty world of politics.

But until now, it had never crossed your mind that Bucky was perfectly capable of being the most dangerous man in the room, he just made the conscious decision to shield the world from that side of him.

“He did what?”

The low growl made your whole body warm and you could only stare at him for a couple of seconds before forcing yourself to snap out of it and licked your lips.

Bucky was your boss, you were in a relationship, and this was making you feel things you definitely weren’t supposed to feel.

“It’s nothing,” you said in a rush, taking a step back. “I’m fine, it was just….who hasn’t been through that, am I right? People suck and I—I’m just gonna go home and take a shower and forget this whole day happened. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You walked out of his office and snatched your purse off your desk without even slowing down, then left the building.

Normally, you wouldn’t be caught dead without your headphones in the subway but you were so lost in your thoughts that it was only when you reached home that you realized you weren’t wearing them. You frowned to yourself, then pressed your palms on your eyes, then dropped your hands with a sigh.

It was just because of today.

That was it.

And besides, anyone could see Bucky was handsome. It was an objective observation –hell, you were the one who kept joking that his looks would grant him a seat in the congress— so if anything, it just meant you were good at your job.

You unlocked the door and stepped inside, then closed the door behind you.

“Max?”

“In here babe!”

You made your way to the kitchen to find him on a stall, his whole focus on his laptop screen. You quickly pecked him on the lips, then put your purse on the kitchen island while he clicked away at the keyboard.

“You’re home early.”

“So are you,” you said. “Oh my God, you will not believe what happened today.”

“What?”

“You remember Mr. Thompson?”

“The guy who owns that sports foundation, right?”

“Yeah, him!” you said. “So, he had a meeting with Bucky today, and it was around my lunchtime, and as I was walking out, he held the door open for me and then touched my butt!”

He looked up from his laptop.

“Holy shit, that’s fucked,” he said. “You okay?”

“Can you believe that?” you exclaimed. “He walks around like—everyone thinks he’s this sweet old guy, and he—he goes and does that? It’s so fucking disgusting!”

“It is.”

“I should’ve slapped him,” you told him. “Seriously. Or like, punched him or something. That’s what he deserves, that fucking pervert.”

“He really does,” he said. “Hey, should we have pizza for dinner?”

You blinked a couple of times, silence falling upon the kitchen as you searched for the right words through the anger burning in your head.

“That’s it?” you asked after a beat. “I’m telling you some creep groped me and your reaction is just ‘that’s fucked, what’s for dinner’?”

“What am I supposed to do?” he asked back with a laugh. “Challenge him to a duel?”

“If you could be angry, that would be appreciated,” you snapped and he pulled his brows together.

“I am angry.”

“Are you?”

“What, I should go and beat him up to show that to you?” he asked, his tone mocking. “It’s just a creepy guy with a wandering hand. No harm done—”

“Maybe I should be the one to decide if there’s any harm done, Max,” you growled through your teeth. “Seeing that it was my ass that was involved, literally!”

“Alright.” He let out a tired sigh. “I get that you’re upset, but there’s no need to take it out on me, I can’t do anything about what happened. There’s always gonna be creepy guys around you, you can’t let that affect you this much. It’s not gonna solve anything, it’ll just make you more upset.”

You could feel the headache creeping up on you, climbing from the base of your neck to your temples as you gritted your teeth, then ran a hand over your face.

“Wow,” you said. “You know what? I’m just gonna take a shower and go to bed. Eat whatever you want.”

“Babe, come on—” he started but you walked out of the kitchen to the hallway, then slammed the bathroom door behind you, your eyes still burning.

---

Your headache was a little better when you woke up. You were still angry and hungry at the same time, so on your way to work, you got a sandwich, coffee with four shots of espresso and some pastries for yourself and the people at the office. As usual, you were the first one to arrive, so you placed the pastries in the kitchen, made your way to your desk, put your earbuds in and got to work.

You were halfway into your report when Kelsey snapped her fingers in front of your eyes, making your head shoot up.

“Thanks for the eclairs Birdie,” she said when you took out your earbuds and you made a face.

“Not you too.”

“Bucky still isn’t in?” Caleb asked as he put a file in front of you while biting into an éclair and you and Kelsey both shook your heads.

“He has that breakfast thing with—”

“With Mrs. Ainsley in Borough Park,” you said and checked the time on your laptop. “Should be here soon though.”

Caleb popped the rest of the éclair in his mouth, then sat on your desk.

“So, let’s get the theories about last night,” he said. “I say it was his wife’s boyfriend.”

“Nah, I say it was a robbery.”

“Nothing was stolen.”

“The guy is loaded, he probably has stuff he doesn’t want the public to—”

“Who are we talking about?” you cut them off and they both turned to give you a look of disbelief.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t heard.”

“Heard what?” you asked, your heart skipping a beat as you grabbed your phone. “I’ve been working on my report since I got here, what did I miss?”

“It came out last night!”

“I had a fight with Max last night—what happened?”

Kelsey tilted her head. “What happened with Max?”

“Long story, what’s going on?”

Caleb leaned back on his palms.

“Someone broke into Mr. Thompson’s house last night.”

Your heart started beating in your throat. “What?”

“Yeah, someone broke into his house—which is insane by the way, he usually has security there and a bunch of alarms— and my journalist friend got the first report, that was definitely personal. All the bones in his right hand are basically dust now, no one knows what kind of machine they used.”

You stared at him while Kelsey let out a snort.

“He knows, he just refuses to say anything.”

“The guy is traumatized.”

“That, and he lost all his teeth.”

“Exactly. He must’ve blocked it out because if he remembered, he would’ve given the description in writing.”

No.

Absolutely not, that was—

That was a coincidence, that’s all.

Bucky didn’t care enough about you to do that, your relationship was purely professional.

“He won’t,” Kelsey said. “People say he saw who it was, but is too scared to tell the police who it is.”

“I’m telling you, it’s his wife’s boyfriend or something, there is something personal—”

He stopped talking and jumped off your desk, causing you to turn your head to see Bucky walking to his office. Bucky offered you a small smile and nodded at your friends before entering his office and you let out a breath, leaning back on your chair.

“Ugh, he’s too hot,” Kelsey said and Caleb rolled his eyes.

“He’s your boss, dumbass. Don’t shit where you eat.”

“I’m not doing anything!”

“Yet.”

“Listen, we all know the Venn diagram of his potential voters and the people who want to fuck him.”

“I still cannot believe Paul put that in the Powerpoint presentation, that was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever seen Bucky.”

“Oh please, as if Bucky doesn’t know how fuckable he is.”

“And do you realize what that means? We don’t ask people that question, it’s not in the survey, so it means almost all those voters just gave away that information voluntarily—”

“Uh, guys?” You hit print on the document, then grabbed the file out of the printer. “I’ll be right back.”  

You could swear your legs were shaky as you approached his office, then licked your lips and knocked on the door to peek your head in.

“Hey, are you busy?”

“Not at all,” he said and you stepped in, breathing fast for some reason. “I was just about to come to talk to you. How do you feel? After yesterday?”

“Oh I’m…I’m fine,” you said and rushed to put the report on his desk. “There. The latest numbers.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course,” you said breathlessly and turned around to leave, but then changed your mind and turned around again.

“Bucky?”

His piercing blue eyes on you were soft. “Yes?”

“Did you um—did you hear about Mr. Thompson?” you stammered. “Apparently someone broke into his house last night, through the security and all the alarms.”

He raised his brows in silence.

“It’s pretty weird, isn’t it?” you insisted. “Whoever it was, he broke all the bones in his right hand.”

A small smile twitched Bucky’s lips before he shrugged his shoulders.

“He needs his left hand to open doors.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, a warmth spreading from your chest to your stomach, and lower, and lower—

Holy shit.

It was Bucky.

The warmth turned into a fire rushing through your veins, making you lightheaded while you stared at him, your stomach doing happy flips. You didn’t even realize the smile curling your lips at first but as soon as you did, you cleared your throat.

“Bucky.”

“Hm?”

“You shouldn’t have.”

He scoffed. “We’ll have to disagree on that one.”

“He has security around his house,” you insisted. “You shouldn’t have put yourself in danger like that.”

He seemed almost offended that you thought security could pose any danger to him and you tried to focus on the issue at hand rather than just how adorable it made him look.

“And we were trying to get his support, if anyone saw you—”

“I don’t care about his support, nor do I want it anymore.”

Focus.

He’s your boss.

Focus.

“He apologized to you, by the way,” Bucky added, mischief glimmering in his eyes. “He would’ve said it himself but he doesn’t have teeth anymore, so…”

That managed to coax a burst of laughter out of you and you covered your mouth, then dropped your hands, trying to ignore the fluttering in your stomach.

“Thank you,” you managed to say and he held your gaze in his, making the butterflies in your stomach even worse.

His voice was soft: “Don’t mention it.”

You lingered there for a moment, then turned around and walked out of his office to your desk where Kelsey and Caleb were still talking. You could feel the fire blooming under your cheeks but you let out a breath and sat down, willing yourself to focus.

“Sorry about that,” you said. “What was that about the Venn diagram?”  

Chapter 3: Working Overtime

Summary:

It’s a skill to remain calm in stressful situations.

Notes:

Warnings: Mentions of injuries, mentions of sex, explicit language

“Do you ever see yourself in something like this?”

You pressed the phone between your ear and your shoulder while waiting for the assistant to put you through, and shoved the mini sandwich into your mouth to chew vigorously. It was Sam’s nephew AJ’s birthday party, and of course Bucky was here, which meant that you and his team were here as well. You weren’t complaining; you admired Sam, Sarah was so lovely, and Cass and AJ were probably the sweetest kids you’d ever met.

The only issue was that Bucky had cleared out his whole day so now you had to move his schedule on top of the meetings he already had. You had started working at 5 a.m. today, already had four Red Bulls and three cups of coffee on an empty stomach, so needless to say you were starving while your heart tried to climb out of your chest.

And for the record, your heartbeat had nothing to do with the fact that for the last half an hour, you were trying to ignore just how good Bucky was with kids, letting them hang from his vibranium arm to entertain them. You stole a look at him as he pretended to run from the kids with water guns, making them giggle excitedly as they went after him.

“Um….” You trailed off and swallowed your bite, dragging your gaze from Bucky to grab another mini sandwich. “I don’t remember the last time I watered the cactus on my desk. I don’t think I’d be very successful with—hi Ms. Miller! Thank you so much for agreeing to take my call, I know how busy you are.”

Kelsey smiled when Bucky grabbed AJ to place him on his shoulders with a monster roar, AJ’s laugh echoing in the garden as they started chasing Cass together.

“Is this what baby fever is?” Kelsey wondered out loud and you covered your other ear so that you could focus.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes would really appreciate it if we could move it to another time—absolutely, Friday 3 pm works for us. It’s a family thing—yes, it’s Captain America’s family but you know how close Mr. Wilson and Mr. Barnes are, his family is Mr. Barnes’ family too. Mm hm. Thank you so much again, have a wonderful day!”

You hung up and popped the mini sandwich in your mouth, then eyed the cup in Kelsey’s hand.

“Is there caffeine in that?”

Kelsey held it out of your reach. “It’s mine, go get your own from the kitchen.”

“Sharing is caring—”

“I don’t share my caffeine,” she told you and you heaved a sigh, then made your way to the kitchen, your eyes still glued to the phone. Sarah and her friend Emily whom you had met before were in the kitchen and you smiled at them.

“Hi.”

“Hi there,” Sarah said. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, I just came to see if there’s any coffee— just one moment please,” you said and pressed your thumb on the screen to send Paul a voice mail. “Paul! Hey, I talked to Miller, she’s fine with Friday 3 pm, which means you need to move the interview to 4:30 at least. You can contact Ryan, he’s on good terms with Caleb and has a soft spot for Bucky, he should be fine with it. If he’s not available, I’ll make a phone call to Tim, but you need to let me know in half, okay?”

You sent the voicemail and sent a quick text to Caleb, then lifted your head from your phone to look up at Sarah.

“Sorry. Um—I was wondering if there’s any coffee left, please?”

“Sure thing,” Sarah said with a small smile and filled a cup for you, then handed it to you.

“You’re an angel,” you said and your phone buzzed in your hand. You took a look at the text, then typed in your response while Sarah tilted her head to the right.

“You look a little jittery.”

“Oh yeah, I had four Red Bulls and this is my fourth cup of coffee,” you said and Emily raised her brows.

“It’s barely noon.”

“I started the day at 5 am,” you said, taking a sip of your coffee and Sarah shook her head.

“You need to take a break.”

“I’ll take a break when we put Bucky in DC,” you said. “Oh fuck. That reminds me, I still haven’t asked Kelsey for the latest poll—”

“I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever seen you without your phone in your hand,” Sarah mused and you sent a text to Kelsey, then looked up from your phone.

“Hm? Oh!” You let out a laugh. “I don’t remember either, to be honest with you. I hang onto this thing halfway through sex.”

Sarah and Emily exchanged glances and you made a face.

“Sorry,” you said. “TMI. I just, I barely have friends outside work and we talk about everything so it became a habit. I’ll need to take classes like that one Julia Roberts movie, did you guys watch that one? It was—”

“You have your phone in hand during sex?”

“Halfway through, and it’s not that weird,” you said with a nervous laugh. “My boyfriend works like 100 hours a week, so we managed to minimize the time while maximizing the effect. It takes us like 5 minutes, and then we both check our emails.”

 “Oh you poor thing…”

“No, I’m totally fine with it!” you said in a rush. “It’s a great arrangement because, I mean obviously if it’s sex vs work, it’ll be work. Sex can wait, work just doesn’t.”

“I barely know you, but I know that you need to dump that man,” Emily said. “I bet I can find someone for you.”

“Don’t worry, I already have someone in mind for her,” Sarah muttered to her with a knowing smile and you scoffed.

“No no, thank you so much,” you said. “Max and I have been together for years and like I said, our expectations match.”

“Don’t get me wrong but if you’re this tense every day, those five minutes aren’t doing much,” Emily pointed out and you took a deep breath.

“I’m a tense person in general,” you said. “Has nothing to do with anyone. I lost spelling bee when I was in first grade and then it turned me into this as a grown up.”

“Can I see your phone?” Sarah asked and you handed it to her, but your eyes widened when she put it in her pocket.

“Sarah?”

“Go socialize.”

“What?” you exclaimed. “No no no, you don’t understand, I need my phone—”

“I’ll give it back to you after half an hour. Go eat something, drink something healthy,” she said, taking the coffee cup from your hand, making you gasp. “There’s orange juice. Take some time for yourself, and I’ll give it back to you.”

“But…” you started but she walked out of the kitchen with Emily and you threw your head back, then rushed after her.

“Sarah! Sarah I can’t just go cold turkey, I will have withdra—”

“What is going on?” Bucky stopped you before you could walk past him and you looked up at him, then at Sarah who stepped out of the hallway into the garden. Your brows pinched together in frustration and you let out a breath, fanning yourself with one hand.

“I think I’m having withdrawals.”

“Over what?”

“My phone, Sarah took my phone!”

Bucky frowned. “Why?”

“Because I hold it while I have sex,” you said. “Do you think you can get it from her?”

He gawked at you.

“You hold your phone while—”

“Okay, everyone needs to stop making that such a big deal!” you snapped. “It’s more of an emotional support thing, it’s not like I check my emails during sex, I check them right after!”

“Alright, let’s just…” Bucky gently steered you out of the hallway. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You nodded, still fanning yourself. “Is this how alcoholic people feel?”

“I don’t think they feel it within the first minute, Birdie,” Bucky said and you rubbed at your eyes.

“Can I borrow your phone?”

“No.”

“But listen, what if—” You pointed at him. “What if something goes wrong at work?”

He looked almost amused. “I’m standing right here,” he told you. “What would go wrong?”

“Your dick pics come out.”

“Impossible,” he said and grabbed a glass to put it in your hand. “Drink this.”

You looked down at the clear liquid, then shook your head.

“I can’t drink vodka, Bucky, it’s AJ’s birthday and I’m literally working—”

“It’s water,” Bucky deadpanned and you paused for a moment, then shrugged your shoulders and took a huge sip.

“Emily said I look tense,” you said, barely aware of the pout on your lips. “Do you think I look tense?”

“Absolutely.”

“I don’t look tense!” You hissed through your teeth and motioned at Sam who approached you and Bucky. “Let’s ask Sam, he’ll be honest. Sam, do I look tense?”

“I’ve never seen you not tense.”

Bucky let out a chuckle at the look of betrayal on your face. “Told you.”

“Sam, can I borrow your phone?”

“Do not give her your phone,” Bucky said and Sam’s eyes darted between you.

“Do I want to know what’s going on?”

“Sarah took my phone because for some reason she thinks I’m tense.”

“And how much caffeine is in your system right now?” Sam asked and you scoffed, waving a dismissive hand in the air.

“Four Red Bulls, three and a half cups of coffee. I’m totally fine.”

Sam turned to Bucky. “If you keep doing this to her—”

“I swear on my ma’s grave that I’m not doing anything,” Bucky said and you had to bite back your smile at the old Brooklyn accent that slipped through. “She refuses to listen to me. I sent her out of the office three times the other day so that she could take the rest of the day off, and each time she flat out said no and went back to her desk.”

“I was in the middle of going over your speech for the press,” you defended yourself. “I wasn’t going to just go home.”

“At least this way I can keep an eye on her,” Bucky told Sam while you sipped your water, looking up at him.

Bucky in casual clothes never failed to impress you. Yes, he could pull off a suit like no one else, but the fact that he could look this handsome with little to no effort, just with a t-shirt, leather jacket and jeans, had to be studied at schools in your opinion.

You opened your mouth to speak but as if on cue, sirens started going off and you frowned.

“Is that in my head or does anyone else hear that?”

Everyone’s phones started beeping and vibrating, multiple ambulances and police cars wheezing by, and both Bucky and Sam checked their phones while parents went to their children to get them inside.

“There’s been an attack,” Sam said, his eyes darting on the lines on his screen and Bucky nodded, his jaw tightening.

“Let’s go.”

“Wait, what?” you exclaimed while Sam ran to Sarah who was assuring Cass and AJ that everything was fine despite the worried look on her beautiful face. “Bucky no, it could be dangerous—”

He was already walking away from you. “Stay with Sarah.”

“But—”

“Stay with Sarah!” His tone held none of the softness it usually had for you, instead it sounded like an order, making you furrow your brows. The stern light in his eyes melted away when he took in your puzzled expression and he licked his lips, then stepped closer to you.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, his voice low. “I just need to know you’re safe, alright?”

“Buck, let’s go!” Sam called out as he grabbed his shield and Bucky took off his leather jacket, his vibranium arm gleaming under the sun before they both ran out of the garden in the direction of sirens.

You could swear the whole garden was spinning around you as you stared at the road, then turned your head when someone gently touched your arm.

“Here.” Sarah handed you your phone. “Call your boyfriend, I’m sure he’s worried about you.”

“Thanks,” you said, fear twisting your stomach. “Sarah, he’ll—Bucky will be fine, right?”

Sarah gave you a calm smile and squeezed your arm in an assuring manner.

“I think you’re forgetting what he used to do before he got into politics,” she told you. “This is what he and Sam do best. They save people.”

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat and nodded your head, blinking back the tears.

“If he—” you started but stopped talking when your phone started buzzing in your hand, Max’s name flashing on the screen. “I’ll be right back.”

You walked away from her and answered the phone. “Max?”

“Babe, hey. You okay?”

“Yeah!” you said. “Yeah, I’m at Sarah’s house. You?”

“At work,” he said. “Can you see anything from there?”

You walked to the fences, then shook your head.

“No,” you said. “Do you know what’s happening?”

“They’re saying there are multiple people injured, they closed down a street,” Max said. “Do you want me to pick you up after I’m done?”

“No, stay where you are,” you said. “Don’t go outside until it’s clear out—” You took a look at the screen when your phone beeped. “My mom is calling, I’ll text you.”

“Okay, see you later,” he said and you hung up, then answered the call.

“Mom?”

“Oh thank God, your father and I have been so worried!” Your mother’s voice reached you. “Are you okay, sweetheart? You’re on speaker by the way.”

You rubbed the back of your neck, then nodded as if she could see you.

“Uh, yeah! Yeah I’m safe.”

“See, this is why I do not want you in New York,” your father said. “That place is a goddamn madhouse, something happens every day.”

You closed your eyes, familiar anxiety churning your insides.

“I mean honestly honey, what is wrong with here? Why did you have to move there?”

“Sweetheart, while I was on my retreat, I talked to Leah. Do you remember Leah?”

You rubbed your temples. “Mom…”

“Well you see, she says she can add you to the list for the next one when you—”

“I’m not going to go up on a mountain to listen to my inner thoughts and scream at the sky around bonfire, mom,” you cut her off and she heaved a sigh.

“But it’d be good for you! You are too tense.”

“What’s with everyone and saying I’m tense?” you asked, your voice going high-pitched. “I’m so relaxed!”

Fine, maybe screaming into a phone didn’t exactly prove that you were relaxed.

“Your boy seems to be doing well in the polls so far by the way,” your father commented. “Too much idealism, that one. DC isn’t exactly New York, did you tell him that they will eat him alive the moment he steps a foot in that congress?”

“He’s been around for over a century and broke through decades of brainwashing,” you said, your voice defensive for some reason. “I’d say he can handle a couple of politicians.”

“Oh do not talk about politics around me!” your mother said. “You know what it does to my nerves—Hannah? Hannah can you get me a Xanax please?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose.

“I uh….I gotta go guys, it’s work,” you said. “I’ll call you though, love you.”

You hung up before they could say anything else, and Kelsey grabbed your arm, waving the phone in your face.

“Bucky!”

Your heart dropped to your stomach. “Is he okay?”

“Yes and the internet is going crazy,” Kelsey said and you took a look at the screen, a shaky recording of Bucky stopping a huge chunk of a wall from falling on a small girl while Sam pulled an elderly man out of the car, firefighters and medics running around. You let out a breath as you watched Bucky carry the small girl to her mother, then go back to rip the door off a bus to help the people trapped inside.

“Holy shit,” Kelsey muttered. “I think he just won the election.”

Somehow, the election had become the last thing in your mind as you watched Bucky on the screen, a warmth dripping inside your chest but you swallowed thickly, then tried to smile.

“Right,” you rasped out. “Yeah. It’s good optics. Or something.”

---

It was indeed an attack but thankfully, there were no casualties. People were lucky that Bucky and Sam moved as quickly as they did, and apparently all the news channels and people on the internet agreed with you.

And Kelsey was right.

There were multiple videos of Bucky saving people all over the internet, and you were sure you had read thousands of comments by now. After things got calmer, you had decided to go back into the office to get your mind off things and throw yourself in work, but needless to say, it wasn’t working.

At least your phone was back in your hand.

And you were sitting on the office floor.

You sniffed and reached out to put another paper on the floor, then changed it with the one on its right. You scribbled a footnote at the bottom of the page, still holding your phone tightly in your other hand, but your head shot up when you hear the door open and someone stepped into the bullpen.

And as if on cue, your heart started beating in your throat.

“Hey,” you managed to rasp out and he tilted his head.

“What are you doing on the floor?”

“I ran out of space on my desk,” you said. “And I’m trying to decide on the order of these meetings, so…”

Bucky lingered in his spot only for a moment like he was trying to figure out how to react, then cleared his throat and approached you to sit on the floor as well.

“You don’t want to be home after today?”

“I’m fine, Max is probably working anyway.”

“Birdie—”

“But hey, you’re back,” you said, swallowing the lump in your throat. “From your—your superhero stuff. Kels has a point, you’ve just won the election.”

From the clueless look on his face, it was clear that Bucky had not thought about that.

“What?”

“You haven’t checked social media?”

“You know I don’t do that.”

“Well, everyone is impressed with your heroic actions, a lot of journalist want to—”

“It wasn’t a heroic action, it’s the least I could do.”

“That makes it even more heroic.”

“And I’m not going to use it to win the election.”

“All your opponents would.”

“I don’t care.” Bucky shook his head. “No one should use helping the people in need as some sort of PR bullshit. It’s what everyone should do.”

“I figured you’d say that,” you murmured. “Well, it doesn’t matter if you want to use it or not, people are all over it. I think I watched like a thousand thirst traps of you since the afternoon.”

“What’s a thirst trap?”

You bit back a smile and grabbed a paper on the floor, then put it on top of the pile.

“That leaves out this press release then,” you muttered. “You should still talk to a journalist we trust, about what happened.”

“No.”

“Bucky, there’s nothing wrong with addressing—”

“They will turn it into a PR stunt if I do,” he said. “No.”

You heaved a sigh and grabbed the file on your left to shuffle through it, taking out a couple of pages as you sniffled again. His eyes found the crumpled tissue beside you, his gaze softening while you nibbled on your lip, forcing yourself to focus.

“Are you okay?”

The nod of your head wasn’t even convincing to you, so you weren’t really surprised that he didn’t believe you. You dared steal a look at him, your cheeks warming when you did so you lowered your glances to the phone in your hand, your nail pushing at the screen protector.

“Were you scared?”

You could feel the tears threatening to burn your eyes so you blinked fast, pursing your lips and shaking your head.

“Does your family know you’re safe?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled. “They called.”

“That’s good,” he said gently, like he was talking to a skittish animal. “They must’ve been relieved, huh?”

“I think so.”

“They’re okay? Back home?”

“Okay is a stretch but they’re—they’re them, I guess,” you said with a small laugh. “My dad and I fight every time we talk, and my mom can’t handle it. She can’t handle much, to be honest. That’s why she keeps going on these spiritual retreats and popping Xanax like candy.”

Bucky hissed in a breath. “Ouch. Sorry.”

You waved a hand in the air.

“Don’t be, it’s expected,” you said. “It’s such a cliché. How does that old song go? My daddy’s rich, my ma is good lookin’.”

His head shot up in excitement, a hopeful light glimmering in his eyes and the sight was so sweet that you couldn’t help but smile, your stomach doing a happy flip.

This right there, this was Bucky.

Bucky back in the 1940s, the guy who you saw in black and white pictures with the devilish charm and carefree grin, this was him.

“You listen to Billie Holliday?” he asked and you nodded your head fervently, sitting up straighter.

“Yeah! And Ella Fitzgerald too!” you said, pride laced in your tone. “I know all their songs. My grandfather had this huge collection, he had a bunch of signed records too, he displayed them on—”

“Babe?” Max’s voice cut through your rant and you turned your head, a frown pinching your brows together. You grabbed the papers and Bucky stood up, then offered you his hand to help you up. A warmth shot from your fingertips to your whole body the moment you placed your hand in his, your eyes locked in his, your heart leaping but you forced yourself to pull your hand back as the footsteps came closer before Max appeared in the doorway.

“Max?” you asked, trying to ignore the tingling in your hand. “What are you doing here?”

“You mentioned you’d be here, and I figured I could pick you up after today,” he said. “It’s been a weird day. I talked to your mom, she’s very worried.”

Right.

That was normal. He was your boyfriend after all, and you had no business feeling this warm and fuzzy around Bucky, who was your boss and also was not, in fact, your boyfriend.

Max shot you a look before giving a tight lipped smile to Bucky and you snapped out of your daze, then cleared your throat.

“Right. Um—Max, this is Bucky. And Bucky, this is Max,” you said. “My boyfriend whom I—whom I love very much.”

What.

The.

Fuck.

You had no idea why you felt the need to add that detail. Discomfort churned your stomach as soon as the words left your mouth but you swallowed the lump in your throat, plastering a lovesick smile on your face and grasping Max’s upper arm to squeeze it gently. Bucky held your gaze in his, his expression unreadable as he turned to Max who held out his hand.

“Hello Mr. Barnes,” Max said as Bucky shook his hand. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Likewise.”

“We should go,” you said before Max could say anything else. “It’s been a weird day, like you said. I’ll see you tomorrow, Bucky?”

“What’s the rush?” Max asked with a laugh and you shook your head, grabbing your purse and the files off the desk.

“No rush, just want to be home.”

And have an existential crisis.

“But—”

“Have a nice night Bucky!” you chirped as you all but dragged Max out of the bullpen, stepped outside and made your way to the car. Max got on the driver’s seat while you buckled your seatbelt on the passenger seat, and he turned to you.

“That was weird,” he commented. “You sure you’re okay?”

You nibbled on your lip, turning your phone in your hand as he started the car, then waved a hand in front of your eyes.

“Babe?”

You took a deep breath, then forced yourself to smile.

“Sure,” you said and slipped a little to lean your knees on the dashboard, your hand still warm with Bucky’s touch. “I’m fine. Just a long day.”

Chapter 4: Outranked

Summary:

Everyone has their bad days at work.

Fine.

Things with Bucky had been a bit strange, at least on your part.

Ever since that night at the office and that rush of excitement you had when your hand was in his, you had been trying your hardest to ignore the feeling but it simply didn’t let you.

Throwing yourself into work didn’t do the trick either, but at least the poll numbers were amazing.

You watched while he walked down the stage through the applause and shook hands with the people in the crowd. Even you had to admit that he didn’t need to do much, voters loved him and his genuine approach. Yet, to be safe, he studied whatever you gave him thoroughly to answer each and every question with ease, clearly having read every note you put in your reports as you asked him to.

He made his way to you and Kelsey, and you smiled at him while Kelsey checked his calendar on her phone.

“The next meeting is with Mr. Davis,” she said before he could even ask. “You have half an hour.”

“Great,” he muttered, shooting you a questioning look, and you nodded, then followed him out of the building to the sidewalk. He went into the blind alley right beside the building so that you could be away from anyone who could interrupt you, then turned to look at you.

“The usual drill?” you asked and he nodded.

“Mm hm.”

“I start?”

“Please,” he said, loosening his tie a little. “Ladies first.”

You took a deep breath and unlocked your phone.

“Overall it was pretty good,” you said, checking the notes on your phone as he leaned back on the wall. “Just one thing, you could’ve given more details when they asked about our veteran plan.”

He made a face as if he was already regretting it.

“I thought the same,” he admitted. “And I was going to, then I remembered you told me earlier to lean into education for this one.”

“Yes because that’s our opponent’s weak spot, I saw his project about education, it’s a fucking joke.” You scoffed. “By the way, you nailed the education question.”

He let out a relieved breath. “Good.”

“But like I said, we can just give the overall rundown the next time someone asks about it,” you said. “I actually already prepared a draft—”

“When?”

“While you were answering the question,” you said. “It’s short and to the point, and people should hear more about it, so if we overran by like ten seconds, it won’t hurt.”

“Yeah.”

“Because our ideas are fucking amazing,” you said, looking up at him and Bucky nodded fervently.

“Most of them were your ideas.”

“We came up with them together,” you told him. “And you’re the one who’s gonna carry those to the Congress, so let the voters hear it.”

“Okay,” he said. “Noted.”

“And next, Mr. Davis,” you said. “He’s a hard-ass, however he does have a soft spot for veterans and he’s a history nerd, so please, please throw in some sort of anecdote from your time in the trenches.”

“Birdie…”

“I know you hate talking about it,” you added in a hurry. “I know but we can, in fact, use him. Could be like um, like a fun memory.”

“Fun memory,” he deadpanned. “From the trenches.”

“You know what I mean, Bucky.”

 “I’ll try,” he muttered. “My turn?”

You cleared your throat and fixed your hair to keep your hands busy before rolling your shoulders back.

“Yes,” you said. “I am now ready for your feedback. Go.”

“How much caffeine have you had so far?”

“Two Red Bulls, one Monster, three cups of coffee.”

“What did you eat?”

“Some leftover pizza as breakfast and a protein bar. Oh, and coffee beans.”

Bucky pulled his brows together. “See, that also counts as caffeine—where on earth did you get coffee beans?”

“I brought them in a ziploc. Want some?”

“No thank you.” He hummed. “And how much did you sleep last night?”

“Um…” You checked the app on your phone. “I think it’s like two and a half—oh, there. Two hours forty-five minutes.”

 “That’s ten more minutes than the other night,” Bucky pointed out and you nodded your head, pride lighting up your face.

“Yes. I’m improving.”

“So proud.”

“Why thank you,” you chirped and checked the time on your phone, then stepped closer to him to reach up to fix his tie. “I literally told you Davis is a hard-ass, you have to look put together.”

A small smile pulled at his lips as he looked down at you, and you felt your heartbeat speeding up, but you forced yourself to focus on his tie before you stepped back, nibbling on your lip.

“There. Presentable.”

“Did you change your perfume?”

You tilted your head, then slapped a hand over your forehead with a grimace.

“I forgot you’re basically a hound!” you whined. “Sorry about that. Um—Max got this perfume for me and it’s really not my type of perfume but I wanted him to feel good about it, he’s not very skilled at choosing gifts.”

He raised his brows.

“Your boyfriend doesn’t know the perfume you use?”

“…No,” you said after a beat. “No he does. It’s on the vanity, he’s seen it a thousand times.”

“So he got you a different perfume on purpose?”

You blinked a couple of times, the simple question making your stomach churn in anxiety but you shook your head, trying to shake off the thoughts.

“Let’s go,” you said, and started walking with him following you. “Is it bad? The perfume?”

“It’s not bad, it’s just not you.”

“Is it the serum?” you asked. “It makes you notice these types of things more?”

“Yeah.”

“How come you didn’t say anything about the other one?”

“I like how you sme—your—your perfume,” Bucky stammered and cleared his throat. “It’s uh—it’s a nice…perfume. In general.”

“Are you sure?” You stepped out of the alley and turned to look at him better while his campaign manager Paul approached you. “About this one not being bad? Should I go home and take a very quick shower and be back?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Paul cleared his throat, his eyes darting between you two. “Am I interrupting something?”

“No,” Bucky said. “What is it?”

“You need to be on your way to Davis,” he said and turned to you with a frown. “And you should be at the office.”

“Okay.” You grinned at Bucky. “Hey, less exposure to perfume.”

“I feel like this is common knowledge, but I’d take your perfume over Davis’,” Bucky grumbled and you let out a laugh, then made your way to the car.

---

 It was a busy day today, for Bucky and you. He was supposed to meet all these people and you had thousands of emails to send, and to make things worse, Paul had given you a bunch of things to do the moment you stepped foot in the office.

“He looks more pissed off than usual,” Caleb commented and you heaved a sigh.

“Yup.”

“Why?”

“No idea,” you said. “But hey, do you know how Bucky’s meeting with Davis went?”

“Kels texted me, it went fine.”

“Just fine?” you asked and he hummed.

“I’ll ask for the details.”

“Thank you,” you said and printed out the latest report, then walked to Bucky’s office to put it on his desk so that they would be ready when he got back. You cracked your back and made a face, then took a step to walk back to your desk but Paul stopped you.

“What were you doing in there?”

You pulled your brows together. “In Bucky’s office?” you asked. “I left the latest report in there. I figured he’d want to see it.”

Paul scoffed a laugh.

“Right,” he muttered. “And what about the report that I asked for, half an hour ago?”

“You asked for a full report Paul,” you reminded him. “I had to send some emails, so I—”

“I didn’t ask for excuses,” he snapped, making you pull back a little while the rest of the bullpen fell into silence. Your cheeks started burning in shame but you swallowed thickly, commanding yourself to be calm.

“I had to send the email to that journalist you were talking about today,” you said. “I figured that it was the priority—”

“I’m sorry, you figured?” Paul asked. “I asked you to do something and what, you decided it wasn’t the priority?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Sounds like you did,” Paul said. “And sounds like we have a miscommunication problem here. You don’t decide on shit. I decide what’s important or not, you hear me?”

Okay.

You knew what to do in a situation like this.

Your whole childhood could be summarized with multiple people yelling at you, so it didn’t even take you long to snap into what was familiar. You imagined the walls going up around you just like you would when you were little, schooling your face into a completely neutral expression, keeping your eyes on Paul and not the whole office watching you.

“I don’t really give a fuck that everyone tells you you’re oh-so-smart,” Paul ranted. “I don’t give a fuck if Bucky—” he stopped himself and let out a bitter laugh. “Trust me when I say this, you’re not half as smart as you think you are.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see that Bucky had just entered the bullpen but since Paul’s back was turned to the entrance and he was so lost in his anger, he didn’t even notice people turning their gaze from him to Bucky.

“And when the stakes are this high, when we’re only a couple of months away from the elections…” Paul’s voice rose again and Bucky’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not going to let you screw this up for anyone in this team!”

Bucky took a step but you moved your hand from your side to raise it just a little before you curled your fingers into a fist. It was so subtle that neither Paul nor anyone in the room noticed it, but Bucky stopped dead in his tracks like a soldier given a strict order by his commander, his gaze burning you.

“So when I want something to be done,” Paul said. “You do it. You do not think about the priority order, you just fucking do it. Like you’re supposed to. We’re not paying you to think, we’re paying you to do as you’re told. Do you understand?”

You unclenched your fist and nodded, then turned your gaze to Bucky over Paul’s shoulder. Paul blinked a couple of times, his face going white before he followed your line of sight, and turned around.

Bucky didn’t even need to say anything to intimidate people, you were beginning to see it now. His cold glare was more than enough to pin one to their spot, hell, you weren’t even the person who was on the receiving end of it, yet you didn’t think you could move. The whole bullpen held their breath while Paul exhaled shakily, opening his mouth only to have no voice come out. Bucky stole a glance at you as if asking for your next order, but you shook your head slightly, making him clench his jaw. He turned to Paul, nodded in the direction of the door and stepped outside, Paul tripping on his own feet in his rush to follow him outside.

“Holy shit,” Caleb muttered and you bit inside your cheek, then returned to your desk, Kelsey rushing to you while Caleb scooted his chair to get closer.

“What an asshole,” Kelsey whispered. “I still have goosebumps, I’ve never seen Bucky that furious.”

“At least now we know what Howard Stark saw before he—”

“Caleb!”

“Sorry, too soon?”

Your hands were still shaky, and people were still staring at you but you grabbed your phone to send a quick text to Bucky:

Don’t. I’m serious. Don’t fire him, don’t threaten him, don’t do anything.

“Birdie, are you okay?” Kelsey reached out to squeeze your hand and your head shot up, then you tried to smile.

“I’m fine.”

“You sure?” Caleb asked. “That was kind of harsh, even for Paul.”

You threw your shoulders back, trying to pull yourself together.

“It’s fine,” you said. “It’s…it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

---

Paul couldn’t meet your eye for the rest of the day.

In fact, you were pretty sure that he had jumped out of your way when you had to go to his office to get a file.

Even though you could tell Bucky wanted to talk to you, you weren’t exactly sure how long you would be able to keep it together and you certainly didn’t want to break down in the office, so when it was time for you to leave the office, you went home while Bucky was still out on a meeting.

You had already cried in the shower when Max texted you to say he would be working until midnight, so you ordered a bunch of snacks, put some music on, turned the TV on, found the news channel and put it on mute, then turned up the heat and got to work.

You were knee deep in the clean energy bill draft for Bucky to use in his next meeting when the roar of a motorcycle outside made you grimace and look up from your notes, your phone buzzing in your hand a couple seconds later. Your eyes widened when you saw the text, sitting up straighter like someone pinched you.

From: Winter Is Coming

Hey, I’m outside your place. Can you step out for a moment?

 Bucky?

Bucky was—

Holy shit, Bucky was outside.

You jumped on your feet and grabbed the empty snack packages, rushed to the kitchen and threw them into the garbage, your heart beating in your throat as you typed in your reply;

Be out in a sec!

You didn’t even question why you were so excited to see him, you just rushed to the bathroom to to brush your teeth and fix your hair as fast as you could, then made your way to the bedroom to grab your perfume from the vanity, your hand hitting the perfume bottle Max had got you out of the way in your hurry. You sprayed a couple of your own perfume on your skin, then ran to the living room to spritz it into the room as well. You threw the bottle on the bed and took a deep breath, then grabbed Max’s zip-up hoodie to put it on, grabbed the keys and walked out of the apartment.

Oh.

Oh alright, this was going to do wonders for your imagination.

Great.

Bucky was leaning against a motorcycle when you stepped out of the building, and he looked so irresistible that the fluttering in your stomach went crazy as you smiled at him. He eyed you up and down, and you shifted your weight from one foot to other, now realizing that you were in a crop top and tiny shorts under the unzipped hoodie; something very different than what he was used to seeing you in.

“I do have a doorbell, you know?” you joked, still holding the door open behind you and his eyes snapped to yours.

“I uh—” He frowned like he was trying to focus. “I didn’t want to disturb.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” You waved a hand in the air. “Come on in.”

He paused for a beat. “Are you sure?”

“Oh yeah, Max is working late as usual, it’s just me,” you said and made your way to your apartment with him following you. You opened the door to your apartment and stepped inside, your heart still pounding in your chest.

It was fine.

You had been to his place like a thousand times, and even bribed his cat Alpine into loving you with a can of tuna, so it just made sense that he would be here as well.

Completely professional.

Bucky’s eyes darted around the place before he closed the door behind him, then let out a breath.

“Whoa, it’s like a sauna here.”

“Yeah I need every room I’m in to be boiling,” you said with a laugh, taking off the hoodie. “I’m cold all the time, like, there was this one time I had to turn the heat on in June, Max was losing his mind.”

Bucky took off his leather jacket and you took it from him to hang it on the hanger, then made your way through the hallway with him following you.

“I got wine, beer…”

“Beer would be nice, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” you said as you both entered the kitchen and you took out two beer bottles from the fridge, then handed one to him.

“Thanks.” Bucky sat down on the stool and uncapped his bottle and you uncapped yours, then clinked the bottle with his. “Nice place.”

“Thank you,” you said and took a sip, perching on the other stool across from his. “So, what’s up? What brings you to my sauna?”

“I wanted to see if you’re okay,” he said. “After today.”

You scoffed. “Oh, I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

“I don’t care what Paul does. How did the meeting with Brooks go?”

“She’s nice—”

“And she’s hot as hell,” you added. “Like, seriously…”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Did you get the chance to mention that we’re interested in that fundraiser?”

“Yeah, she says we can make that happen. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“That fundraiser would make really good optics and to be honest, she’s kind of a badass—”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Bucky cut you off and you pursed your lips, then nodded.

“I don’t understand why people make such a big deal about it,” you said. “I’m used to getting yelled at, I’m okay.”

Fury flashed in Bucky’s eyes.

“This has happened before?”

“No no, not with Paul,” you said. “Which by the way, what did you tell him? He doesn’t even look me in the eye anymore.”

“Good,” Bucky said. “Means he listened.”

Butterflies returned to your stomach but you forced yourself to give him a reprimanding glare. “Bucky.”

“Hm?”

“What did you say to him?”

“Nothing much. I just explained what would happen if he pulled that shit again, very calmly.”

You had to bite back your smile. “Very calmly.”

His expression was almost too innocent. “Mm hm.”

You shook your head and took another sip of your beer while Bucky tilted his head.

“How?”

“What?”

“How are you used to it?”

“Oh.” You let out a bitter laugh. “I got yelled at a lot when I was a kid. It stops being effective after a while, to be honest with you.”

Bucky’s frown deepened and you shrugged your shoulders.

“I had this um…” You moved your hand vaguely. “I had this thing while I was growing up, I was incredibly skittish, so my dad kept yelling at me to think faster and talk faster and eat faster and—whatever you can think of, really. Kind of like a drill sergeant.” 

Bucky stared at you, a soft light shining in his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I yell at him back nowadays,” you said with a small laugh. “One of the reasons why we don’t get along well. He raised me to be very outspoken, and now that my values are completely different than his, he doesn’t like it. You should’ve seen the last time they visited, we got into this huge political argument, and my mom just left to go shopping, and Max blocked it out and was like, making work phone calls in the bedroom while my father probably violated the noise ordinance laws of this building. My voice was hoarse the next day, it was crazy.”

Bucky blinked a couple of times.

“Sorry, you mean—” He paused as if he was trying to wrap his mind around the idea. “You’re telling me your father yelled at you and your boyfriend just allowed that?”

You stared at him, that familiar discomfort sinking in your stomach again before you shook your head.

“Oh it’s not like that,” you said. “He respects my father a lot, and he knew I could handle it.”

At least that was what Max had told you word by word, when you asked him where the hell he was during that argument seeing that it ended up with you bursting into tears in the bathroom.

“Did you tell him he’s not supposed to respect your father more than he respects you?” Bucky asked with a dry smile and you licked your lips, your heartbeat getting faster.

“It sounds bad when you say it like that,” you said. “But it wasn’t like that. Max is a great guy, we barely ever fight.”

Well, that was because you barely saw each other within the week.

“And um—” you stammered. “And we’re like, so in love.”

No I’m not.

The thought that flashed through your mind was so sudden and so unfamiliar that it made you stop talking and you swallowed thickly, frowning at yourself. 

What the hell?

When had that quiet doubt turned into an actual thought?

“Yeah,” Bucky’s voice cut through your haze and you looked up at him to see that soft light playing in his eyes despite how tight his jaw was. “Yeah, you mentioned that.”

“…Right.”

He held your gaze in his, making your heart skip a beat before he downed the beer and put the bottle on the kitchen island.

“I should go,” he rasped out and your stomach dropped in disappointment.

“Oh, you could stay,” you said in a rush, hope clear in your voice even if you tried to hide it. “Like I said, it’s just me here probably until like midnight or something.”

“I really shouldn’t.” He gave you an apologetic smile and stood up from the stool. “Thanks for the beer though.”

“Of course,” you said and followed him to the hallway. He grabbed his leather jacket from the hanger and you fixed your hair, clearing your throat.

“By the way, you should ride your motorcycle more,” you said with a tentative smile. “It’d skyrocket the votes.”

He chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

You took a step towards him when he opened the door. “Bucky?”

He turned around to look at you better. “Hm?”

“Why—” You paused for a moment. “Paul is your campaign manager. He outranks me and—was it honestly just because of me? Today, when you pulled him aside and gave him a talk?”

 “Yeah,” he said. “It was because of you.”

“Why?”

He shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t like it when people think they can yell at you,” he pointed out. “So I’m not going to allow that. Simple as that.”

That warmth filled your chest again, a smile you couldn’t stop lighting up your face and you bounced on the balls of your feet, then nodded.

“Thank you,” you said, your voice a mere whisper and his eyes met yours, your heart beating in your throat again.

“Anytime,” he said softly. “Goodnight Birdie.”

With that, he closed the door behind him and soon enough you heard the engine of the motorcycle come to life, and drive away. Your cheeks were still burning and you pressed your palms to soothe the fire, letting out a shaky breath.

“Yeah,” you whispered into the empty room. “Goodnight Bucky.”

Chapter 5: Bad Optics

Summary:

Crushes can happen out of nowhere.

Fine, maybe people were right.

Maybe you were a workaholic who couldn’t stay away from her phone for five seconds without going full on Gollum without the ring but in your defense, the elections were very close so you had to be in total control.

“What do you mean we don’t know where Bucky is?” you asked as you held the phone to your ear, frowning at your reflection in the mirror as someone entered the bathroom and started refreshing her lipstick, the chatter from the bar reaching the bathroom. “The guy is a super soldier who is running for congress. We’re his campaign staff, one of us is supposed to know.”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Kelsey said. “He had a meeting, but then he texted me to tell me not to wait up so I came home.”

“Are we sure he’s not off to save people somewhere in the city?”

“I already checked everywhere, no one is getting attacked as far as I know.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Are we—are we sure he’s safe?”

“As you said, the guy is a super soldier,” Kelsey replied. “I’m sure he’s fine. How’s the dinner going with the boyfriend’s firm?”

You heaved a sigh and leaned your back to the wall as the girl left the bathroom.

“Well, it’s not my crowd,” you muttered. “They seem nice enough though.”

“That’s good,” she said. “Hey, me and Caleb and the rest of the team are gonna go to the usual place in like an hour, if you’re done by then, you should come.”

You made a face.

“I’d love to but I doubt it’ll be over by then,” you said. “Maybe we can drop by if you guys are still out when we leave.”

“That works.”

“Gotta go Kels,” you said. “Talk to you later.”

“Have fun!” she said and you hung up, then took a deep breath, checked your reflection in the mirror and walked out of the bathroom to join the group by the bar.

Max was talking to his friends by the corner, laughing loudly at a joke and you bit inside your cheek, then motioned at the bartender for a drink. You typed in a quick text to Bucky before opening the email that Caleb sent you, but your head shot up when someone cleared their throat.

“Hi!” you said with a bright smile when you saw one of Max’s coworkers and she smiled back at you.

“Hey,” she said and offered her hand. “Tessa.”

You introduced yourself, shaking her hand and thanked the bartender when he brought you your drink before turning to her again.

“You look kind of tense,” Tessa said. “I hope it’s not us.”

“Oh no, not at all!” you said. “Sorry about that, I’m just one of those people who look like they have the stress level of a nervous chihuahua. I’m actually having fun.”

“You sure? It can be a bit boring, I know all we do is talk about work.”

You waved a hand in the air. “I know how it is, no worries.”

“Your boy is doing well lately,” Tessa said and you nodded your head fervently, your heart skipping a beat at the mention of Bucky.

“Oh I know, his poll numbers are so good,” you said, your smile widening. “He might not want to use the superhero thing but people aren’t blind.”

Tessa raised her brows. “…I meant Max.”

Right.

Right, Max was your boy.

Friend.

Boyfriend.

“Fuck, sorry,” you said with a nervous laugh and held up your phone. “Still in the work mode.”

“Don’t I know it,” she said and snapped her fingers. “Oh you work for Bucky Barnes! Max mentioned it. It’s quite impressive.”

“Thank you.” You took a sip of your drink. “It’s a bit chaotic but I like it.”

“Well, tell him he has my vote.” Tessa winked at you. “I have zero idea about any of his policies, but he’s hot as fuck.”

You let out a giggle.

“I know you won’t believe this, but a significant number of his voters have the same approach as you.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, it’s on a report—” You were cut off when your phone started buzzing and you touched the screen to see the multiple people writing on your group chat. You scrolled up to click on the link Caleb sent, your heart dropping to your stomach when you saw the post.

It was a gossip blog, not different than millions of others on the social media. Even if the photo was a little blurry, you could still recognize Bucky and Hazel Brooks, the famous CEO of the nonprofit he’d had multiple meetings with last month and this week. She was standing very close to him, close enough to kiss him while he smiled down at her, and as the caption underneath said, it was right outside the restaurant they had their—

Their date in.

Oh.

You could swear someone was twisting your heart inside your chest. You swallowed thickly, still staring at the picture as if it could explain what was happening to you, trying your hardest to ignore the burning in your eyes.

Hazel Brooks was just perfect.

She was pretty, she was successful, she had her own nonprofit that she used to actually help people, and people in business adored her. Of course Bucky would like her, of course he would want to date her after a mere business meeting, of course—

Tessa touched your arm. “Everything okay?”

Your throat tightened but you blinked back the tears and lifted your head to smile at her.

“Yeah!” you managed to say. “Just uh, just a work thing.”

What the fuck was happening?

You couldn’t burst into tears just because Bucky was with a hot CEO, that had nothing to do with you. You were in a relationship, you were in the business dinner of the said relationship, but somehow, that did nothing to ease the pain.

“You sure?” Tessa asked. “You seem a bit—”

“Hey babe!” Max’s voice cut her off as he threw an arm over your shoulder to pull you close to him. “Having fun with Tess?”

You bit inside your cheek hard enough to hurt, then downed your drink.

“Yeah.”

“Me and the boys will do shots, wanna join?”

Pull. Your. Shit. Together.

“Sure,” you rasped out. “That sounds amazing.”

---

This was not pulling your shit together.

This was the opposite.

After you and Max had left the dinner party, you had told him you’d have to meet Kelsey for a quick work thing and thankfully, Max had told you he was too tired so he would go to bed, so here you were.

At this point, you might as well have changed your surname into Goldberg if you were going to stare at people’s homes like a goddamn creep, but knowing that it was creepy did nothing to make you walk away. You had drunk a lot, and even with your high tolerance, it was enough to give you some liquid courage.

Hence where you were now.

Outside Bucky’s place.

In your defense, the place where Kelsey and the rest of the team were drinking was close to his place, and you had originally planned to join them—you were going to join them right after talking to Bucky.

Because this was unacceptable.

You chewed the gum in your mouth vigorously before throwing it in the trash can and wiped at your eyes, then made your way to his door. If you were a bit more sober, you would’ve actually come up with a speech to explain to him why going on a date out of nowhere when the elections were this close was both unacceptable and unprofessional, not to mention rude, but you figured you could just wing it, so you raised your fist and knocked on the door, then wiped at your nose with the back of your hand and stepped back, listening to the footsteps coming closer.

And then the door opened.

Fuck.

Fuck, alright, you really should’ve thought this through.

He looked way too hot. His hair was tousled, the first couple buttons on his white shirt undone, his piercing blue eyes gleaming under the dim light.

“Birdie?”

You gritted your teeth, taking a deep breath.

“Well hello there Casanova,” you said and held up the phone so that he could see the post. “Fun night?”

He frowned. “What—”

“Are you serious right now?” you asked. “You didn’t think to let me know about this whole thing before hard launching your girlfriend?”

“I’m not launching anything,” he said, confusion clear in his tone. “Who posted this?”

“Some gossip account, who the fuck cares?” you snapped. “This is going to affect the polls, you do realize that?”

“How? I’m not auditioning for The Bachelor, I’m running for congress.”

You tilted your head, momentarily distracted. “You watch The Bachelor?”

“No, Caleb made the same joke the other day.”

“Well, either way!” you said through your teeth. “A huge number of your voters want to fuck you, surprise surprise! This is so thoughtless of you, like, are you okay? Have you lost your mind?”

He looked over his shoulder, then pulled the door close behind him.

 “We didn’t even do a background check, or social media check, oh my God, there are one thousand things that could go wrong, and you decided to go on a date? Without letting me—letting anyone in your team know? You can’t just pull this shit!”

He raised his brows, watching you in silence.

“Do you have any idea how it’s going to affect things?” you asked. “No. No, you don’t, because if—I get that she’s pretty, okay? Anyone can see that she’s pretty, and fine, she’s very smart and very successful, it doesn’t mean you can just go on dates, there are things to consider before. She has actual pull in the business world, we’re trying to get all the nonprofits on that list I made on our side, and you decided going on a date with her was more important? Is that what’s happening?”

Bucky’s voice was frustratingly calm when he spoke; “Are you done?”

“Stop treating me like, like—” you stammered. “Like I’m a fucking hysterical housewife from the 1940s, I’m doing my—”

“How’s Max?”

That had the same effect of someone pouring a bucket of ice cold water on you and you stopped talking, your eyes snapping up to his.

“The guy you’re so in love with?” Bucky asked, his piercing gaze locked in yours. “As you kept telling me? How is he?”

Your lips pulled into a pout as you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Whatever you’re insinuating…”

“I’m not insinuating anything,” Bucky cut you off. “Are you insinuating something?”

You shook your head fervently. “No.”

“Great. We’re both clear then.”

You nibbled on your lip, your mind going overdrive.

“Well, is it—” You paused, a nervous laugh climbing your throat. “You and her, is it serious or something?”

Before he could answer, the door opened behind him.

“Bucky, what’s taking so long—oh, hi there.”

Great.

Miss Brooks.

She looked from you to him and leaned on Bucky’s strong figure while you took a step back, forcing yourself to pull your gaze off Bucky before plastering a smile on your face.

“Hi Miss Brooks,” you said, your voice completely professional. “Sorry about this. I um, I work for Mr. Barnes and we needed his confirmation on this new draft we’re preparing, and we—we couldn’t reach him.” You motioned at the street vaguely. “Me and the rest of the team are drinking right around the corner, so I figured I’d come by to check.”

She hissed in a breath.

“Ah, my apologies,” she said with a small grin. “That one is my fault, I may have been keeping him busy.”

Don’t cry.

Do not cry.

You’re not a fucking schoolgirl with a crush, keep it together.

You blinked fast so that you could stop the tears before they could reach your eyes, the bridge of your nose tingling.

“Right,” you said and turned to Bucky. “Thank you for the confirmation, Mr. Barnes. I was confused before but now everything is crystal clear.”

His jaw tightened. “Birdie…”

“I apologize for the interruption,” you said, taking another step back. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

 With that, you turned around and walked away from them, still holding your phone tight in one hand while rubbing your eyes with the other.

---

Thankfully, the team was still out drinking. They were lost in their happy chatter, which was good for you because Caleb and Kelsey had pulled you to a different table the moment they saw the look on your face, so no one else could pay attention to the conversation your table was having while the occasional roars of laughter rose from theirs.

“Fuck,” Caleb commented as the waitress brought your drinks and took the empty glasses away. “Why didn’t you say anything, Birdie?”

“Because it was supposed to go away,” you said, sniffling. “I mean for God’s sake, he’s my boss and…ugh, I’m so sorry Kels.”

Kelsey tilted her head. “Why?”

“I know you also have a crush on him—”

“Whoa!” Kelsey cut you off. “Pump the breaks. First of all, I never said a crush, I said I wanted to fuck him.”

“Which is something you have in common with everyone in this bar,” Caleb added and Kelsey nodded.

“Second of all, I stopped wanting to fuck him the minute you told me about your crush. From now on in my eyes, he’s like a catholic priest. Or a nun. Or like, one of those monks— whichever is not allowed to fuck, I don’t know.”

“I think none of them are allowed to fuck.”

“Yeah, so there you go Birdie. You can have him.”

You sniffled again and wiped your nose with the tissue. “You’re such a good friend.”

“I know right? I’m amazing,” she mused. “I’ll just find myself a hot guy when we’re in DC, preferably from Capitol Hill.”

“I can’t wait until we’re all in DC,” Caleb stated. “I’m so over the dating scene in New York.”

You rubbed your eyes.

“How do I have a crush on him?” you asked. “I’m not allowed to have a crush on him. He’s my boss, and I have a boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend is one way to describe…” Caleb waved a hand in the air as if trying to find his name and Kelsey raised her brows.

“Max,” she said. “You know what his name is, Caleb.”

“I decided to keep his name in my mind for the same length of time he spends fucking her, so like five minutes.”

 “It’s because he read that Reddit post,” you said, your voice going high pitched as you dabbed at your eyes with the tissue. “Apparently his tech bro idol spends only five minutes having sex so that he can work more and—”

“I am literally begging you to dump him.”

“I listen to so much Lana Del Rey now!” You hiccupped. “Did I tell you guys that? I ordered all her albums on vinyl!”

“Bucky is over 100 years old,” Caleb said. “I think that kind of age gap would make even Lana cry.”

Kelsey slurped on her cocktail.

“Hypothetically,” she said and pointed at the door. “Let’s say Bucky and Pedro Pascal walked right through that door—”

“Keep Pedro Pascal out of this, Kels.”

“I’m trying to prove something,” she insisted. “They both proclaimed their undying love for you. Who would you go for?”

You thought for a moment, then another sob escaped your mouth as you buried your face into the tissue, making Caleb hiss in a breath while Kelsey rubbed your back.

“Shit, it’s that big of a crush, huh?”

“I don’t understand how this happened!” you said through the sobs and sniffled, then took another sip of your cocktail. “There has to be something I can do to stop it.”

“I doubt it.”

“No no, we’re his political campaign staff,” you said and sat up straighter to pull yourself together. “We know everything about him, right? There has to be something there that’ll make me—make me not want to kiss him under the moonlight to an Ella Fitzgerald song.”

That made Caleb and Kelsey fall into silence in deep though before Kelsey shrugged her shoulders.

“Just off the top of my head, he killed Howard and Maria Stark.”

 “Yeah I mean, technically,” you murmured. “But in his defense, he was being controlled by HYDRA.”

Caleb cleared his throat.

“I feel like we did such a good job with his PR that we also tend to overlook a couple of things about his past,” he said. “But the guy did kill JFK.”

“To repeat, HYDRA killed JFK—that’s not going to work.” You shook your head. “I need something personal. Like he secretly listens to terrible podcasts or…”

“Bucky doesn’t know what a podcast is,” Kelsey stated. “I once asked if he’d want to be a guest on a political one because they contacted me, and I had to explain what it was, and he just stared at me and went like; ‘You guys reinvented the radio?’”

“He really does want to be a guest on a radio show though,” Caleb said and pulled up his phone to take a note. “We should look into that, he was kind of excited when I mentioned it today. Must be an old dream of his.”

“Could work on the elderly voters if he mentions it during the program—”

“Guys, focus.”

“Right, back to the mission at hand,” Caleb said clapping his hands together. “Uh, maybe he’s bad at sex.”

“Oh really?” Kelsey asked with a grin. “You think the super soldier with super strength is bad at sex?”

“It’s possible,” Caleb insisted. “People in the 1940s only knew what, two sex positions?”

“Is that why my grandmother had like ten children?”

“Your grandmother’s high libido is not relevant to this conversation.”

“Ew, never use grandmother and libido in the same sentence ever—”

“Guys!” you exclaimed to stop their bickering. “Bucky’s bad attributes. Come on, can’t be that hard to find.”

“His cat is an asshole.”

Both you and Kelsey gasped.

“Caleb, Alpine is a precious princess, take that back!”

“She once scratched me because I wanted to pet her!”

“You can’t just pet a cat because you want to,” you insisted. “The cat is supposed to want that, not you.”

“Hence why I’m not a cat person.”

You groaned and leaned back in your chair, throwing your head back.

“I’m sitting here thinking about his stupid smile while he’s having sex with Hazel fucking Brooks,” you mumbled. “And while my boyfriend is waiting for me at home. I—I’m such a terrible person.”

“You’re not a terrible person.”

“Yes, I am,” you insisted. “I’m here, openly lusting after my boss while I’m in a relationship.” You motioned in the direction of his house. “While he’s probably starting a relationship.”

“We don’t know that.”

“Bucky doesn’t just sleep around,” you said with a bitter laugh. “And either way, I’m with Max so I’m not supposed to care about it.”

“If you weren’t—”

“Even if I weren’t with Max, Bucky would never look my way,” you murmured. “He doesn’t see me like that.”

Kelsey reached out to squeeze your hand in an assuring manner while you downed your cocktail.

“Birdie…”

You wiped your eyes and cleared your throat, then tried to smile. “It’s okay, I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

“Yeah,” you said, your voice unconvincing even to your own ears. “It’s just a stupid crush, guys. I’ll be okay.”

Chapter 6: Election Night

Summary:

A hug can mean many things.

The election day.

You were so on edge that when you got to work, you could barely hear the chaos with blood rushing in your ears. The whole team was busy, some making phone calls, some rushing through the office with papers in hand, and some talking to each other. You knew Sam was already there for moral support, probably in Bucky’s office, and apparently Sarah had brought AJ and Cass so that they could all be there for Bucky. You waved at them, then made your way to your desk to put your purse on it, Caleb coming closer the minute you did.

“I talked to the bar,” he said. “They’ll close it down for us.”

You took a deep breath and sat down. “Okay.”

“We’re gonna celebrate and I’ll drink like ten cocktails,” he joked and you snorted a laugh.

“Hope so.”

“Don’t look so tense,” he said. “He’s gonna nail it.”

You looked around. “He’s in his office?”

“Mm hm. With Sam and Sarah.” He eyed you up and down. “You could go in and wish him luck, you know? I get why you’ve been avoiding him for two months, but today is kind of special.” 

You blinked a couple of times, then cleared your throat.

“How’s the voter turnout looking?”

“Pretty good— are you seriously not going to go and say hi?”

“I have like one thousand things to do,” you told him and switched your laptop on. “It’s the election day.”

“Oh is it?” Caleb asked with a grin. “I was wondering why everyone was so on edge, must be why.”

You let out a laugh as he walked away and you texted Kelsey who was probably with Bucky in his office, then lifted your head when AJ and Cass ran to your desk.

“Hey there.” You smiled at them. “What’s up?”

“Are you very busy?”

You looked at the hundreds of notifications on your laptop and your phone, then shook your head.

“Nope,” you lied. “And either way, I can always make the time for the most awesome kids in the world. How can I help you guys?”

“We have a couple of questions,” AJ said and you hummed.

“Well then it’s your lucky day, because I’m so good at answering questions,” you told them. “Ask away.”

“When will we know the results?”

“After the polls close and they count the votes, so around the evening.”

“How many votes do we need?”

“Mm, that’s a bit tricky,” you said. “We obviously need more than the opponent, but I’m aiming for 170,000.”

AJ’s eyes widened. “Do you know that many people?”

“Nope,” you said. “But more than that many people know Bucky.”

Cass shifted his weight as if he was trying to decide whether to ask another question but then he took a deep breath like he was gathering his courage, making you bite back a smile.

“Yes, Cass?”

“Will Uncle Bucky be president one day?”

“Whoa, that’s such a smart question,” you said and a proud smile lit up his face. “That’s a good one, let me think…The biggest factor is whether he wants to or not. Did you ask him?”

He shook his head. “We haven’t yet.”

“You think he’d make a good president?”

“Yeah, he’s awesome!” Cass said. “If he wants to be president, will you make that happen?”

“Me?”

“He always says you’re the best at everything.”

You could feel the warmth in your chest. “Does he?”

“Yeah, mom asked him about you the other day, and he said you—”

“Boys!” Sarah called out, making them turn to her as she approached your desk. “Let her work, she’s very busy.”

“Multitasking is my middle name,” you told her with a grin while AJ and Cass walked away from you and Sarah leaned back to your desk.

“How do you feel?”

“Tense,” you said and nodded in the direction of Bucky’s office. “How’s he doing?”

“He can’t stop pacing,” she said. “Kelsey had to repeat herself like three times just now, so I’m sure he’d appreciate it if you went in for some encouragement.”

You averted your eyes, shaking your head.

“I’d love to, but I’m swamped with work,” you said, clicking on your emails and Sarah hummed.

“You’ve been avoiding him for two months now.”

“I don’t know why everybody keeps saying that, I’m not avoiding him. I work for the guy.”

“Right. So this whole thing has nothing to do with the fact that he got himself a girlfriend two months ago?”

Your head shot up, your eyes widening and you opened your mouth, then closed it, frantically searching for the right words.

“Wha—he—” you stammered. “Why would that be relevant? That’s not relevant, I almost forgot he has a girlfriend—what? What makes you think it’s relevant?”

Very smooth.

Sarah gave you a look. “Come on.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Sarah.”

“It’s just a funny coincidence that you decided to put this distance between you two months ago, considering you two were basically inseparable before Hazel entered the picture.”

“I’ve just been busy with work and my own relationship,” you managed to say. “I don’t care about his relationship, he seems happy enough.”

“Hazel is nice,” Sarah admitted and you snorted.

“She’s also gorgeous, a billionaire and has a successful business,” you murmured, quickly typing your response to the next email. “But who’s keeping count?”

“But I don’t think their relationship will last.”

That made you look up from your screen, your stomach doing a flip. “Wait what? Why not?”

Sarah shot you a smug smile, then shrugged her shoulders and walked away from you, making you shake your head.

“Alright,” you muttered to yourself. “Election day. Keep your head in the game, do not get distracted.”

---

After the polls were closed, everyone went to the bar to watch the results. There was no reason to stay in the office anymore; you were either going to move it to the DC or find yourselves new jobs, and either way, staying in the office was not going to change whatever the outcome was.

After you had done everything in the office until the afternoon, you and Caleb had gone to a polling station to make sure everything was going well. When it was closed, Caleb had gone straight to the bar while you returned to the office to grab your coat but as soon as you stepped inside, you pulled your brows together.

Bucky’s office light was on.

Ah.

 Your phone buzzed in your hand and you checked the texts, smiling to yourself before making your way to his office. Your heart was beating in your ears as you knocked on the door and opened it to find him half sprawled on his desk, resting his head on his crossed arms.

His voice came out muffled when he spoke: “Nice perfume.”

“Nice crippling self-doubt,” you replied as you leaned sideways to the doorframe, and he scoffed.

“I’m not having doubts, I’m resting my eyes.”

“On the election night?”

That made him lift his head, making your cheeks feel warm at the sight of his handsome face. It was almost strange, how two months of you avoiding him had done nothing to the magnetic pull you felt whenever you were around him, but you tried to focus.

“Bucky…”

“Don’t tell me any numbers. Don’t.”

“Okay,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders and stepped into the office. “They’re still counting anyway. And everyone is at the bar already, come on.”

He ran his hands through his hair. “Was this a mistake?”

“Nope!” You snapped your fingers. “Get up sergeant, we’re leaving.”

“Birdie—”

“Get up.”

“Have I ever told you how bossy you are?”

“I grew up in a stressful home, my options were limited.”

“What if—”

“Get up, I said we’re leaving,” you said and he heaved a sigh, then got up from his seat and followed you out of the office. It was a warm pleasant evening, and you took a deep breath, then started walking with him beside you.

For a couple of minutes, it was completely silent as if he was too lost in his own thoughts before he cleared his throat.

“Talk to me about something else,” he said. “Please. Or else I’ll lose my mind.”

You pressed your lips together and stole a look at him.

“How’s it going with your girlfriend?”

“She’s nice,” he muttered. “And with your boyfriend?”

“It’s okay,” you said. “He’s at the bar already.”

“So is she.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see a couple of familiar faces –journalists— making their way into the bar, making your stomach do a flip.

Bucky may have asked you not to check the results, but that right there was a very, very good sign.

“So 40s dating etiquette isn’t that different than ours?” you asked, trying to distract him and his eyes widened.

“It’s very different,” he said. “Are you kidding? It’s insane nowadays.”

“Do you want me to prepare a handbook for you?” you asked. “A report—hey, I can prepare Powerpoint?”

That made him let out a chuckle and he came to a stop in front of the bar window, then turned to look at you.

“Birdie,” he said. “Listen, whatever happens…”

“You’ll have to give a speech to the whole team no matter the result,” you reminded him and he shook his head.

“Not this speech,” he said, “I know things have been weird for the last two months, but I—”

The uproar in the bar cut him off and your eyes snapped over his shoulder to find the TV inside, a gasp leaving your lips.

“Oh my God!” you exclaimed and grabbed his wrist to pull him into the bar, the cheers only getting louder the minute you stepped inside. His name was above his opponent’s, the graph showing how many votes they each got and—

Announcing him as the winner.

You turned to him to find him staring at the screen like he couldn’t believe it. A laugh escaped your lips as his gaze found yours, then turned his hand so that he could hold your wrist before he yanked you to himself to swoop you into his arms, hugging you tight. Your heart was doing flips in your chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and let out a squeal when he lifted you off the ground, making you giggle. His hand cradled the back of your head and he buried his face into your hair, and took a deep breath before pressing a kiss to your temple, then he put you down.

You were dizzy.

And breathless.

And—

You felt someone grab your arm before Kelsey pulled you into a hug, Caleb soon joining you to turn it into a group hug.

“I told you, we nailed it!” he exclaimed when he pulled back and Kelsey let out a laugh.

“Oh yeah!”

“We did!” you said and Kelsey licked her lips, then leaned in so that you could hear her through the cheers.

“Sorry for the interruption but it looked like he would kiss you, and the press is here.”

“And your boyfriend, and his girlfriend,” Caleb added and you held your breath.

Max was here.

Right.

You looked over your shoulder to find him by the bar, watching you with a slight frown on his face. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Sam hugging Bucky and slapping him on the back, AJ and Cass running around, Sarah smiling at something Sam was saying to Bucky, and multiple people already talking to the press while you made your way to Max and pecked him on the lips.

 “Hey!” you said, smiling brightly at him. “Can you believe this?”

“Yeah.” His eyes darting from you to Bucky, then to you again. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you!” you said while Sarah waved at you, and you waved at her back. “Um, did I make you wait long?”

“Not much,” he said. “Why did you come with him?”

“With Bucky?” you asked. “He was in the office and I had to go get my coat—”

“Birdie!” Caleb called out. “Team photo, come on!”

“Right,” you said. “Max, I need to be in that photo and talk to the press, you know how it goes. Are you okay though?”

“Sure,” he said after a pause. “But can we talk sometime?”

“Absolutely,” you said, already walking away from him to the team. “Drink and have fun, I’ll be back!”

---

This was why you were in politics.

Tonight was going amazing.

“Yeah, I don’t have the exact voter demographic right now,” you told Gemma, who was a brilliant journalist, while she held her phone close to you so that she could record you. “As you can see, we’re a bit—”

You were cut off when a wave of applause burst through the bar and you turned your head to see Caleb climbing on the bar counter, Kelsey letting out a whistle.

“Alright, alright,” Caleb said and pointed at Bucky with his beer bottle who raised his in turn with a grin. “Bucky made a speech, Paul made a speech, so I’m guessing we can as well.”

“Do it!”

“Take your shirt off and do it!”

“I’m saving that for when I’m more drunk—so let me start by saying,” he said, “there are a lot of journalists here, so I’m going on a record to say that we fucking nailed it!”

The whole bar cheered, laughter echoing in the room.

“It has been very, very challenging,” Caleb said. “I think I’m high on adrenaline but hey, I’m glad Brooklyn made the right choice!”

Cheers got even louder, making Caleb’s grin wider.

“I’m also glad that no one in this room will ever worry about being unemployed ever again!” he said, holding up his phone. “I got five job offers and counting, so Paul, if you feel like giving me a raise…”

All of a sudden, the whole team started shouting numbers.

“I got seven, you amateur!”

“Five!”

“Six!”

“Four and counting!”

“Eight and counting!”

“How many did you get?” Gemma asked, making you turn your attention to her as Caleb climbed down the counter only for another member of the team to climb there.

“Ten and—” you started, then checked your phone. “Oh, sorry. Eleven and counting.”

“That’s amazing.”

“Thank you!”

“And my last question, multiple political sources call you guys Barnes’ Dream Team,” she said. “Job offers only prove that you guys played a huge part in this, so my question is, how did the team approach the strategy? Did you have an exact picture in mind from the beginning, or did you have to adapt a lot?”

“Oh, a combination of both,” you said. “We all got hired at different points during the campaign, but we were lucky to have the type of dynamic that was open to having ideas that feed into each other.”

“Such as using different mediums to reach people?” she asked. “Because at a certain point, you guys were everywhere. Do you think it played a significant part in this outcome?”

“Definitely,” you said. “It was the very first thing we came up with, there would be no corner of Brooklyn that hasn’t heard from us in one way or another. TV, radio, podcasts, social media, town hall meetings—we wanted them to hear us, then decide whether they wanted to vote for him or not. The priority wasn’t the votes; it was to make sure they heard what Bucky would bring to the politics rather than things he was made to do in the past. We’re lucky he doesn’t get tired because I doubt any other candidate would be able to handle the type of schedule we put in front of him.”

“Is he easy to work with, then?”

“He’s amazing to work with,” you said with a bright smile. “The team is only as good as the boss, and vice versa. Every single person in this room is genuinely happy for him, besides the job offers and everything.”

She licked her lips, her eyes finding Bucky before snapping back to you.

“We just saw a very uh…enthusiastic hug there,” she said. “Would you say you are close?”

Ah.

Anxiety made your stomach turn but you managed to keep the smile on your face.

“We all ended up as a very tight-knit team,” you said without a pause. “We spent almost every minute together, so we’re very close with everyone in the team. My boyfriend was just talking about how our list for Christmas presents doubled up because I got another family at work.”

Gemma smiled and she stopped recording, lowering her phone. “In other words, you’re too smart to fall into that trap.”

“I’ve got some experience in media training.”

She hissed in a breath.

“The guy is handsome enough to make anyone and everyone become interested in politics,” she said. “And even more people will be watching him now. Can’t blame a girl for trying.”

You held up your hands.

“Work is work, no hard feelings Gemma,” you told her as your phone started buzzing and you checked the screen, pursing your lips. “I need to get this, sorry.”

You stepped out of the bar, then went into the small alley, cleared your throat and answered the phone.

“Hi daddy.”

“Hi pumpkin,” he said. “Congratulations on your victory.”

“Thanks.”

“How’s your boy doing?”

“He’s very happy.”

“He should be,” he said. “Wasn’t a landslide, but wasn’t very close either.”

“Yeah, when the counting first started, I wasn’t so sure,” you admitted. “But apparently we swayed a significant number of people, even in the neighborhoods I was doubtful about.”

“And how many job offers so far?”

“Dad…”

“Pumpkin, you and the rest of his team just entered every politician’s radar,” he said. “They have a point in calling you his dream team, you managed to make the voters love a former brainwashed assassin enough to put him in the congress.”

“Please don’t call him that,” you told him. “He deserves much better.”

“How many?”

You rolled your eyes. “Eleven and counting.”

“Good,” he said and heaved a sigh. “Well I gotta go, Senator Williams has been calling for the third time tonight. See you in DC.”

You shook your head slightly when he hung up and you turned around, a gasp leaving your lips as soon as you did.

“Max!” you said, putting a hand over your chest. “Jesus, you scared me. What is it?”

He eyed you up and down. “Can we talk?”

“Uh, sure?” you said, frowning. “What’s going on?”

“What was that?” he asked, pointing back at the bar with his thumb over his shoulder and you swallowed thickly, but managed to keep your expression calm.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” he said. “That hug?”

“What, I can’t hug people now?” Your voice came out way too defensive and Max let out a dry laugh, then shook his head.

“Jesus.”

“He won, we’re all excited—”

“Yeah, he won,” Max cut you off. “So? What does that mean for us?”

You blinked a couple of times. “What do you mean?”

“He’ll be in DC. And you?”

“Max, we talked about this when I first started this job,” you reminded him. “We said—”

“Yeah, back when I didn’t think he’d win!” he snapped, making you pull back slightly, a frown pulling your brows together when the realization crashed onto you like a ton of bricks. “Back when this whole thing was hypothetical.”

Wait.

Wait, Max wouldn’t—

“…Who did you vote for?” you asked, making him roll his eyes.

“How is that relevant?”

“It’s incredibly relevant,” you growled. “Answer the question.”

“What does it matter?”

You covered your mouth, taking a step back. “You voted for the opposition?!”

“It doesn’t matter, okay? And hypothetically, if I did, maybe it was because I didn’t want my girlfriend to move to a different city, have you ever thought about that?”

You could barely hear what he was saying, anger making your ears ring as you dropped your hands.

“This will not work if you move to a different city with him,” he said, motioning between you. “Just warning you.”

A snort escaped you before it turned into a full laugh, making you clutch at your stomach in an attempt to stop your laughter and you lifted your head again, wiping at your eyes to keep a straight face.

“You…” you trailed off, trying to control the feral grin curling your lips. “So wait, not only did you vote for the opposition, now you’re asking me to choose between my career and you?”

“I’m asking you to choose between me and him,” he corrected you, pointing at the bar. “It’s not like New York has a lack of politicians. You can easily work for someone here.”

You dragged your tongue over your teeth. “Uh huh. And you’re saying this based on your extensive knowledge in politics?”

“I don’t have to know shit about politics for this conversation,” he said. “You can either be with me, or move to DC. You can’t have both.”

Another huff of laughter climbed your throat and you ran a hand over your face.

“You seriously think you’re giving me an ultimatum right now?” you asked. “Oh my God, the audacity.”

“If that’s what you wanna call it.”

“You can’t give me an ultimatum when this relationship is already over, motherfucker,” you said, your voice rising with each word. “I’m breaking up with you, not the other way around!”

He threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.  “Great, very mature—”

“No no,” you said, shaking your head. “I was going to dump you for the voting thing alone, and you pull that shit? Career vs the man? What the fuck do you think this is, 1950s?”

“So you’re choosing to end this relationship then?”

“Max.” You tilted your head. “I’m asking because I don’t understand. Did you honestly, genuinely think I would ever choose you over my career? Are you joking?”

“As I said, not your career. Your boss.”

You didn’t even hesitate: “I wouldn’t choose you over him with a gun pointed at my head.”

Max scoffed a bitter laugh before he licked his lips.

“I knew it,” he spat. “You’re fucking him.”

Your jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”  

“Such a cliché,” he said as you pulled back, glaring at him. “Politician and the younger female aide. Does he know you’re a power-hungry slut yet?”

“Careful there.”

“Or does he think you’re just naïve as fuck?”

“I’m not fucking him,” you said, your voice eerily calm. “But it doesn’t mean I won’t ask him to rip your tongue out if you keep insulting me. Because trust me, things didn’t end well for the last guy and the body part he used to make me feel bad.”

That made him fall silent and you took a deep breath, stealing a glance at the bar before turning to him.

“And for the record, Max,” you said. “I don’t care what your tech bro idol says. Five minutes is not enough for the microwave to finish, let alone a woman, you selfish, spineless piece of shit.”

With that, you made your way back into the bar without so much as a glance back, your heart still beating in your ears.

---

This was not the time to announce your break up to anyone, tonight belonged to Bucky and his win.

To be completely honest, you were feeling much better than you thought you would. Before this, you had assumed breaking up with Max would’ve made you feel sad or at least anxious, but you honestly couldn’t feel anything other than relief right now.

Relief and excitement about your future.

The press had left but the whole team was ready to party until the morning. Kelsey had already arranged you a table at a very fancy club, saying that her ex friend with benefits was a bartender there, so everyone was slowly finishing their final round at the bar. You had stepped outside to take yet another call for a job offer, pacing in the sidewalk while keeping your eyes on the street.

“I am very honored ma’am,” you said. “I loved your work on the clean energy bill you pushed for last month.”

“Even if it didn’t pass?” she joked and you let out a laugh.

“Can’t win them all.”

“Exactly,” she said. “Anyway, I’ve heard nothing but good things about you, you’ve done great with Barnes, and my team would love to have you in my campaign for the next term.”

“I appreciate it,” you said. “I would have to check in with Mr. Barnes about his plans for the next term as you know.”

“Of course,” she said. “But if he’s not running, or if you’re looking for a change, my team is open.”

“Thank you so much ma’am,” you said. “And if it’s alright with you, I’d love to talk to you about our stance on clean energy once we’re in DC, we have a lot of common ground so I think working together could raise the chances to pass it the next time.”

“That’s great,” she said. “I’ll tell my chief of staff to contact you the minute you arrive. Welcome to the A League.”

“Thank you ma’am,” you said and hung up, then lowered the phone to check your emails but your head whipped around when you heard a familiar voice.

“Planning on leaving me so soon?”

You rolled your eyes at Bucky before giving him a mischievous smile.

“Nope, I’m just gonna use all these job offers to ask for a raise,” you said airily as if your heart wasn’t pacing in your chest. “Hello Congressman Barnes.”

He smiled back. “Hi Birdie.”

“How do you feel?”

“Honestly?” he asked. “I think I’m still in shock.”

“I told you we would win.”

His gaze on you was soft again, making your cheeks burn.

“Yeah,” he said after a beat. “Yeah you did.”

“I mean honestly at this point, everyone should listen to me all the time—”

“Thank you,” he cut you off and your grin widened.

“Hey, all I did was basically not sleep for months, work around 100 hours a week, make the public like you in multiple ways, and put you in the Congress,” you said, waving a dismissive hand in the air. “Would do it for anyone, don’t flatter yourself.”

A huff of laughter escaped him and he hummed. “Of course.”

“But seriously,” you told him. “I know this is not the first time you hear this tonight, but you do deserve it, Bucky.”

That made him pause for a moment, letting out a breath as if a heavy weight was lifted off his shoulders.

“Thank you,” he muttered. “I uh…I needed to hear it from you, not anyone else.”

It was almost funny how in sync you and Bucky were; you took a step to lean your back to the wall and his body automatically turned to follow you so that he could keep his eyes on you, like a dance.

“I missed you, you know?” His voice was soft, like he feared that if he said it any louder, it would break the spell you had been in for the whole night. You swallowed thickly, resting your head back on the wall, looking up at the stars before your gaze found his.

“Me too,” you admitted in a whisper, hugging yourself. “Sorry about that.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I descended upon your place with the fury of a hellhound,” you reminded him, making him scoff a laugh. “But hey, it didn’t affect the results. I guess you had a point about not being in The Bachelor.”

“I still shouldn’t have brought Max up,” he said and frowned as if the thought just hit him. “Is he taking you home—where is he by the way? You’ve had eight drinks, there’s no way you’re going home by yourself.”

You tilted your head. “You counted how many drinks I’ve had?”

“Observation,” he said after a pause. “It’s…handy.”

“For espionage.”

“And for nights like these,” he said and you hummed.

“Kels drank like half of my cocktails,” you said. “And Max is not taking me home.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “What kind of a shitty boyfriend—”

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

 That made his head shoot up, the rest of his sentence getting caught somewhere in his throat. You offered him a small smile while he tried to pull himself together, blinking fast as if he was trying to decide whether he heard you right.

“What?” he ended up asking and you nodded your head.

“I dumped him.”

For the first time you’d met him, he was at a loss for words: “…Why?”

“So many reasons.” You heaved a sigh. “But like, at the end of the day, there’s a line, you know? And the motherfucker didn’t just cross it, he ran past it, jumped back, then ran past it again.” 

Bucky stared at you, a light you couldn’t quite decipher gleaming in his blue eyes but before either of you could say anything, the door of the bar opened and Hazel walked outside, her eyes narrowing the moment she saw that you were there with Bucky.

Ah.

Bucky, being a guy, had no idea what that glare meant; you doubted he even noticed it despite his perfect observation skills, but the message was quite clear: I saw that hug, back off.

So you did. You stepped sideways when she stepped closer to Bucky and averted your eyes from him to give her a tight lipped smile.

“Hello Miss Brooks.”

“Hi. You ready babe?” she asked Bucky, making your stomach do a painful flip and Bucky took a deep breath as if he was trying to snap out of a daze, his eyes still on you.

“Who’s—who’s taking you home?”

“I’m not going home,” you said, looking between him and Hazel who was leaning on his arm sideways. “Me and the rest of the team are going to the club to celebrate, we’ll probably be outside until the morning. You guys should join if you’d like, Kelsey’s friend is a bartender there, and the place has got like a bunch of cocktail awards.”

Hazel hummed and smiled up at Bucky.

“I think we’ll have our own celebration at home tonight,” she said with a quiet laugh like it was an inside joke, and you tried to ignore the fire in your throat.

Ouch.

Well played though.

Bucky’s brows furrowed like he was a bit uncomfortable with the innuendo, and he stole a glance at her while you forced yourself to smile, taking a step back.

“Have fun though!” Hazel added. “You guys deserved it.”

You couldn’t decide whether that was condescending or you were just unnecessarily sensitive because she was the one who was going home with Bucky tonight and not you.

“Thank you,” you said and nodded at Bucky. “And congratulations, Mr. Barnes.”   

With that, you walked past him to make your way into the bar, then approached Kelsey and Caleb.

“Hey,” Kelsey said. “Ready to go?”

You scoffed a laugh, then grabbed her drink from her hand to down it in one go.

“Oh yeah,” you said. “Let’s get me blackout drunk.”

Chapter 7: Whiskey

Summary:

Alcohol leads to honest promises.

After Bucky’s win, you and the rest of the team had about two months to move to DC.

And needless to say, things were quite chaotic.

“I’m telling you, the best way to get over a relationship is a new city,” Kelsey said while you kept your eyes on the computer screen, and Caleb laid on his back on top of his desk, scrolling on his phone. “So you scheduled your break up perfectly.”

“I did not schedule my break up, Kels,” you muttered and paused for a moment. “Although, it is a good idea if I ever decide to date again.”

“You will date again.”

“Not anytime soon.” You turned the screen to her. “What do we think about this apartment?”

“What are you guys doing here?” Bucky’s voice reached you and you all turned to him, Caleb sitting up as he entered the bullpen to approach your desk. You tried to ignore how fast your heartbeat got when he smiled at you, and you nodded at him before forcing yourself to turn your gaze to the screen again.

Play it cool.

“We figured we’d pay our respects to the office before we closed it down,” Kelsey said. “What are you doing here?”

“Sarah says the boys forgot a toy figurine here somewhere,” Bucky said. “Came to look for it, couldn’t find it—you are not supposed to be working this week.”

“We’re not working.”

“So you decided to come to the office that we’re closing down on your time off just because?”

You tilted your head. “That sounds like judgment from the man who’s standing in the same bullpen as we are.”

“That’s probably because I am judging,” Bucky pointed out. “And I have an actual reason to be here.”

“So do we,” you said. “We were feeling sentimental and the wifi here is better—Kels, the apartment?”

Kelsey took a peek at the screen. “Meh, maybe. Depends on which one would be my room. Caleb?”

“I don’t care as long as the living room is big,” Caleb said and Bucky looked between you, his brows pulling into a frown.

“You’re moving in together?”

“Mm hm.”

“All three of you?”

“You know how people bond in prison and stuff?” Caleb asked. “Turns out, the same thing happens when you work in politics.”

“I don’t know DC, Caleb has student loans and Birdie has just got out of a relationship,” Kelsey said. “We figured all three of us together equal one functional member of society.”

That made Bucky pause for a second, his gaze on you warming your cheeks while you forced yourself to keep your attention on the screen.

 “And are you okay?” he asked. “With the break up?”

…Fine.

Things with Bucky were still quite weird.

He was still dating Hazel, who still did not like you, and sailing through this break up while also trying to change cities was not doing your anxiety any favors. Kelsey had a point, you did not think you could stay alone at least for a while, especially when your crush on Bucky was evolving every goddamn day.

Who was, to repeat, in a relationship.

“Yeah,” you said. “Yeah I’m fine, I only cried for like two hours yesterday.”

“That’s why we’re getting you a new guy—”

“Already?”

 That made all of you turn to Bucky and he blinked a couple of times, then cleared his throat.

“I just mean…” He motioned vaguely. “You know, there’s nothing wrong with waiting a little. You just broke up with the guy.”

“I downloaded a bunch of apps after I broke up with my last boyfriend, and we weren’t even together for the quarter of time she was with that asshole,” Kelsey stated and Bucky’s frown deepened.

“You’re on apps now?”

“I’m not on anything except real estate sites,” you announced and if you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought the exhale that left Bucky’s lips was one of relief. “And I’m not dating anyone for a while.”

“Birdie, you need to go on a couple of dates to at least catch up.”

Bucky made a face. “Catch up?”

 “Look at her, she’s like a newborn deer!” Caleb reached out to squeeze your cheeks “All clueless about how hard it is out there!”

You batted his hand away.

“I will kick your ass if I have to,” you grumbled, clicking on another listing while Kelsey nodded solemnly.

“She is a newborn deer and there are wolves out there, Bucky.”

“Don’t ask why they’re like this because I don’t have a good answer,” you told Bucky who scoffed a laugh as you pulled open your drawer to pull out a file. “By the way, I forgot to put it in the boxes and we sent most of them away. Want me to drop it off at your place later on?”

“Would you?”

“Oh yeah, I have to go to the bank around the neighborhood anyway. No problem.”

“You still have my key, right?”

“Mm hm,” you said and checked the time. “You should get going by the way. You have that lunch thing.”

“Hold on, how did you…?”

“Checking your calendar is muscle memory at this point, I do it every day.”

“To repeat, you’re supposed to be relaxing, not working.”

“And you’re supposed to be on your way to lunch.” You shot him a smug grin. “So how about you worry about the material of your own house instead of throwing stones?”  

Bucky held up his hands, gesturing surrender.

“Let me know if you see any toy figurines here?”

“Will do!” you said as he walked away and Caleb laid down on the desk again, then rolled onto his side.

“We all agree that he wants you, right?”

“He wants his girlfriend, Caleb.”

“In his defense, you had a boyfriend when he got himself a girlfriend,” Kelsey said, making your jaw clench. “He can’t just drop her the moment you break up with your boyfriend.”

“He can, actually.” Caleb commented and Kelsey shook her head.

“I was with the guy 24/7 during the election time, so trust me, he won’t. He was raised to be the perfect 40s gentleman, things worked differently when it came to relationships back then, so he thinks he can’t, at least not right now. If we look at it from his perspective—”

“We’re not going to look at anything from his perspective because there’s nothing to look at.” You cut her off, then turned the screen to her again. “Check this out?”

---

You liked Bucky’s apartment.

You didn’t know if it was because there were many things that looked like they didn’t belong to this century or the scent of him that lingered, but whenever you visited you always felt relaxed.

“Hi Alpine.” You bent down to pet the white furball when she came to greet you at the door with a meow. “Aren’t you the prettiest princess? Hm? Aren’t you the cutest kitty?”

She purred, bumping her head on your ankle.

“I got you your favorite treat, just give me one sec,” you said as you made your way to Bucky’s study to put the file on his desk, and Alpine darted back to the hallway. You approached the phonograph at the corner of the room to take a peek at the records, running your fingertips over a Ella Fitzgerald record before the sound of keys jingling reached your ears, making your head whip around when you heard your name being spat in distaste.

“No I’m telling you, I don’t trust her,” Hazel’s voice was clear as the door closed and your eyes widened.

“Shit…” you whispered, looking around in frenzy before you rushed to the desk to get under it, her footsteps going past the study.

Alright.

Maybe you had not thought this through.

There was no way you could just announce your presence now, and judging by how angry she had said your name, you figured it would’ve made things even more awkward than they already were.

Trust Bucky to give his keys three months into the relationship.

“No I just dropped by his place, I forgot my fucking—oh here it is.” Her voice got closer before she entered the study and flung herself on the couch, making you grimace.

Fuck.

Through the small crack, you could see her putting her phone on the small coffee table by the couch before she stretched out.

“I’m so tired.”

“I just think you’re stressed out over nothing,” A female voice said from the speaker and Hazel groaned.

“It’s not nothing,” she insisted. “I’m telling you, she wants him. And if you saw that hug…”

Jesus Christ, what was it with everyone and that hug?

“It was just a hug.”

“He has never hugged me like that,” Hazel replied. “He didn’t even hug me like that that night!”

“I’d say he hugged you plenty for the rest of the night,” A laugh echoed in the room and Hazel scoffed.

“Sex with Bucky…” she trailed off, making your heart skip a beat. “Trust me, that’s a whole new level but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Great. This was just great.

Not only were you crushing on your boss, you now had to listen to the said boss’s sex life with his girlfriend while you were hiding from the aforementioned girlfriend under his desk.

All because you had to be nice and volunteer to drop that file off while he wasn’t home.

“Bucky has this wall around him.” Hazel’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. “And no matter how perfect the sex is, the moment you so much as approach that wall, he just shuts down.”

Your eyes widened when you saw Alpine peek her head around the desk before she happily jumped into your lap, pushing at your folded legs.

“What are you doing?” you mouthed as if she could answer you, but she only head-butted your knee, then blinked up at you, making you run a hand over your face before you started scratching at her head.

This was not what you had imagined when you applied for a job in politics.

“And you know how it is,” she said. “Young female aide gives him puppy dog eyes whenever he’s around and the next thing you know…”

Alpine gave you a quizzical look and you rolled your eyes, then shook your head.

“I get it, but she’s been around him for a while now and nothing happened.”

“She has a boyfriend.”

Ah.

Bucky hadn’t told her about your breakup then.

“And he has a girlfriend,” her friend insisted. “A hot, successful, wealthy girlfriend, he’s not gonna throw that away for some dumb girl. And besides, you’re much hotter.”

The interesting thing was that Kelsey had said the exact same thing about you just a week ago.

“I don’t know,” Hazel said with a sigh. “I feel like I’m trespassing sometimes. Maybe he doesn’t actually like me. I mean, even his cat doesn’t like me.”

You looked down at Alpine who was kneading your leg while purring and ran your fingers through her soft fur.

“It’s a damn cat, Haze.”

Hazel scoffed a laugh. “I know it’s been only three months but I really like him, you know?”

Oh, you definitely knew the feeling.

“And I want to make it work, but I’m not sure if I can if she’s in the picture,” she said. “Not to mention they’ll both be in DC—”

“His whole team is moving there, not just her,” her friend reminded her. “And if she’s bothering you that much, just tell Bucky to fire her.”

That made your hand stop mid-air.

Excuse you?

“I mentioned it to him the other day,” Hazel said, making your jaw drop. “And at first he genuinely thought it was a joke as if even the idea is unthinkable, so he laughed it off but when he saw I was serious, it got kind of…tense.”

“Tense?”

“He just shut it down, refused to even talk about it, and he was so cold that—it’s like she’s his line in the sand. Untouchable.”

“No she’s not,” her friend said. “Honestly, I doubt he even thinks about her outside work. He just wants to keep her because she is good at her job, nothing more.”

Hazel rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna tell you something but you can’t call me paranoid.”

“Shoot.”

“I’m not sure but last night it kind of sounded like he muttered her name in his sleep.”

Her friend’s laugh was loud enough to cover the small gasp that left your lips, making you put your hand over mouth and you closed your eyes shut, half expecting Hazel to approach the table but thankfully, she hadn’t heard it.

“Paranoid.”

“It really sounded like that!”

“As I said, you’re being paranoid,” she said. “Haze, relax. The great Bucky Barnes is all yours, with or without that starry-eyed girl in the picture.”

That made you bite inside your cheek, the familiar ache twisting your stomach and she got up from the couch, making your head whip up.

“Gotta go, I’ll call you later,” she said and hung up, then walked out of the study before you heard the front door open, and close again.

Relief hit you so hard that you felt dizzy, and you let out a breath before carefully lifting Alpine from your lap to come out from under the desk.

“Well that was a new low, wasn’t it?” you muttered and turned to Alpine. “Come on, I’ll give you your food in the kitchen.”

Alpine followed you to the kitchen and jumped on the kitchen island as you rummaged through your purse to take out a can of wet food. You opened it and put it in front of her, and she dug in while you heaved a sigh, trailing your fingers over her fur.

“You know, contrary to what she thinks, I am not dumb,” you said. “I get why she doesn’t like me. I don’t like her either, but mine is because of the jealousy that Bucky is dating her, which, I know, I know; that’s very immature and I shouldn’t do it but come on, she wants to get me fired.”

Alpine didn’t even lift her head.

“She asked him to fire me!” you insisted. “There’s a line, seriously. I would never do that, regardless of how jealous I was. You don’t fuck with people’s jobs.”

Unsurprisingly, Alpine was more interested in her food than your rambling.

“Your father doesn’t like me that way, for the record,” you added. “And I do not give anyone puppy dog eyes, okay? That’s just how I look at people.”

She finished her food and raised her head, licking around her mouth and you huffed out, then threw the can in the trash.

“I’ll bring you another one the next time if you promise not to tell your dad.”

“Mrow?”

“Good, you got yourself a deal,” you said and pressed a kiss on the top of her head, then grabbed your purse and walked out of the apartment.

---

Going into the bank, getting stuff done and getting out was supposed to be fast but you could hardly focus on anything, your mind still replaying what Hazel had said about Bucky saying your name in his sleep over and over again. You wondered whether there was even a slight chance it was anything close to your dreams because more than once you had woken up, breathing out Bucky’s name, your whole body on fire, your mind fuzzy—

No way.

Bucky dreaming about you only existed in Hazel’s mind, nothing more.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you barely heard someone calling out your name, but as soon as you did, your head whipped around.

What in the goddamn fuck was with you running into people in this city at the most inconvenient time possible?

“Hi Tessa,” you said, plastering a smile on your face. “What a coincidence.”

“Hi,” she said, shifting her weight from one foot to other. “How have you been? Max mentioned…”

She trailed off, averting her eyes from you and you waved a hand in the air.

“Oh I’m totally fine. How about you?”

“I’m good,” she said. “I saw Barnes won the election, that’s great! I voted for him.”

“Aw thanks,” you said. “Max didn’t but um—I appreciate it.”

“He didn’t?”

“Nope,” you said. “Long story. How about you, how is work?”

“It’s good. So since he won, are you gonna move to DC?”

“Yeah.”

“Should be fun,” she said. “Listen, I know you barely know me but I know how stressful this whole thing can be, so if you need anything about the moving stuff, just let me know.”

“Thank you so much,” you said and she waved a hand in the air, then stepped in to hug you, the heavy perfume tickling the bridge of your nose, making you grimace.

That somehow smelled familiar—

Oh.

Oh, that motherfucker…

You could feel your jaw clench as the realization dawned on you, and she pulled back to smile at you.

“I shouldn’t keep you long, I’m sure you have so much to do,” she said. “But like I said, anything I can do, let me know.”

You gawked at her for a couple of seconds before you took a deep breath.

“Do you mind if I take you up on that offer now?”

“Sure thing!”

“Good. Can you tell me how long Max has been fucking you behind my back?”

That wiped the smile off her face, making her swallow thickly as a nervous laugh spilled from her lips.

“I don’t—I—” she stammered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do,” you said, your voice calm despite the anger burning in your veins, and her chin trembled as if she was on the verge of tears. “Is that why you asked about DC? You think I’ll somehow get him back if I stay here?”

She didn’t answer, just stared at you with tears in her eyes and you scoffed a laugh.

“Unbelievable,” you murmured and shrugged your shoulders. “No need to worry, he’s all yours.”

“It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I—”

“You can have him.” You managed to grin at her. “I mean it, Tessa. I don’t give a fuck about him. Enjoy your weekly five minutes of missionary while he watches the stock market on his phone beside your pillow.”

 With that, you walked away from her, leaving her there dumbfounded.

---

At this point, you were beginning to feel like this damn office had a hold on you with how you kept finding yourself in it, but you needed a place to hang out until you met with Caleb and Kelsey, so you figured you could do some more research on apartments in DC.

That wasn’t the surprising part. The surprising part was that when you walked in, Bucky’s office light was on and you could hear the shuffling coming from inside. You frowned and looked over your shoulder, then grabbed the nearest file and stepped closer to the office, holding the file over your head, ready to strike any potential burglars but stopped dead in your tracks when you saw Bucky in the office, staring at you like he could hear you coming from a mile away.

Which, he probably could.

“What are you doing?”

“What are you doing?” you asked back and he motioned at the office.

“Looking for the goddamn toy. Why are you holding a file?”

“I thought you were a burglar,” you said, lowering the file and Bucky tilted his head.

“You were going to beat the burglar with the clean energy draft meeting minutes?”

“I’m not open to constructive criticism after the day I had, Bucky,” you said and tossed the file on the couch. “Did you find the toy yet?”

“No.”

You furrowed your brows. “Aren’t you supposed to be good at this? You used to be a super soldier spy.”

“A super soldier assassin,” he corrected you. “Finding toys was not my expertise.”

You heaved a sigh, then went over to his drawer to pull it open, making him shake his head.

“I already checked there.”

“And your desk?”

“Yeah.”

You put your hands on your hips to look around the room, then pointed at the couch. “Here?”

“I lifted it, it’s not under it.”

You made your way to the couch to pull at the cushions, then stuck your hand between and felt around before your hand touched something plastic. You curled your fingers around it, pulled it back, and held the small figurine up, grinning at Bucky.

“There we go.”

“Thank you,” he said and you tossed it to him for him to catch it mid-air. He put it into his pocket, then leaned back to his desk.

“You okay?” he asked. “What are you doing here again?”

“I’ll just use the wifi and feel sorry for myself until Caleb and Kels pick me up. So don’t let me keep you.”

“Feeling sorry for yourself?” he repeated. “What happened?”

I hid under your desk from your girlfriend, heard about your sex life, bribed your cat with wet food and then found out my ex was cheating on me. Did you really say my name in your sleep?

That was not a good conversation starter.

“Just a bad day,” you muttered. “But hey, see you later—”

“I’m not letting you feel sorry for yourself all by yourself,” Bucky cut you off and you arched a brow.

“Bucky.”

“No way.”

“Don’t you have stuff to do?”

“It can wait,” he said and you heaved a sigh, then shrugged your shoulders.

“Fine,” you said. “Wanna pregame and raid Paul’s secret stash?”

“Paul has a secret stash?”

You let out a laugh, then wiggled your brows and walked out of his office with him following you.

---

Paul was an asshole but even you had to admit, he had good taste in booze.

“Is that crack on the ceiling new, or did I just not look at the ceiling the whole time I worked here?” you mused, your eyes fixed on the ceiling as you laid on the floor and Bucky took a swig of whiskey from the bottle, then held it out for you.

“It’s not new.”

“Really?” You sat up and leaned your back to the leg of your desk before taking a sip as well. “Interesting.”

“Birdie.”

“Hm?”

“What happened?” he asked softly and you pouted your lips, then took another sip.

“Do you remember Max?”

Bucky pulled his brows together.

“Your ex whom you broke up with just a month ago?” he asked. “The name does ring a bell.”

“Did you know he’s an asshole?”

“Yeah I did, funnily enough.”

You dragged your tongue over your teeth. “Today I found out he was cheating on me.”

 Bucky frowned. “What?”

“Remember the perfume?” you asked. “The girl he was cheating on me with, I ran into her today, she wears that perfume. That motherfucker gifted me the same perfume so that I wouldn’t notice when he showed up smelling like her.”

He gawked at you and you nodded your head.

“I know, right?”

“He is capable of planning all that?”

“Max can be very clever when it comes to his self-interest,” you said. “I was in a relationship with him for seven years, I—”

“Seven years?” Bucky cut you off and you shrugged your shoulders.

“Yeah.”

“Seven years and no ring?” he asked as if he wanted to make sure and you tilted your head, a huff of laughter escaping you.

“Why hello, senior citizen from Greatest Generation,” you taunted him. “Things work a bit differently nowadays.”

“In my day, seven months was too much.”

“I once spent seven months trying to pick a sofa,” you replied. “That’s not gonna happen. And to repeat, different century.”

Bucky took the bottle to take a sip, then put it down.

“Wait, did you say you ran into the girl?”

“Mm hm,” you said. “And you know what’s weird? I’m not even angry at her, I feel sorry for her.”

“How’s that?”

“Max was—he was obviously my first actual serious relationship,” you said. “So now that I think about it, now that I’m not in it, a lot of things in that relationship were designed to make him feel good and not me. He even—” You let out a laugh. “Okay, I’m about to spill a sex secret that will be very traumatizing for your generation, you ready?”

Bucky motioned for you to wait for a second, took another sip of whiskey and nodded at you.

“Yeah, go.”

“You thought I was weird for checking my emails right after sex, right?”

“That’s very weird, Birdie.”

“Listen to this; Max and I would only have sex for five minutes because that was the most he could stay away from work,” you said. “And during those five minutes, his phone would be right beside my pillow so that he could check his investments and see if something was up with work.”

He blinked a couple of times, staring at you.

“One time,” you said and sipped the whiskey. “One time, while his phone was charging, he started a chronometer on his smartwatch so that he could make sure it’d be five minutes—Bucky, you should see your face, you look more traumatized than I was and I actually lived it.”

“Tell me you’re joking,” he managed to say and you shook your head.

“Nope.”

“I can beat this guy up.”

“No.”

“Please let me beat this guy up.”

“No.”

“Birdie—”

“I don’t give a fuck about him, I just can’t believe he made me do all that and then went behind my back and did that. Like what, additional five minutes in a supply closet or something?”

“And you were in love with this prick for seven years?” he asked, dumbfounded, and you grimaced.

“Of course I wasn’t.”

That made his head shoot up and he stared at you in complete silence for a couple of seconds, then licked his lips.

“You told me…” he trailed off, a bitter smile twitching his mouth like he couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea. “You told me you were in love with him.”

“That, my friend, is called overcompensating,” you stated. “I figured if I convinced people, I could convince myself. Funny how it doesn’t work like that.”

He ran a hand over his face, his jaw tightening.

“We were though, at first,” you said. “But I mean, who knows? Maybe it never was good and he was a selfish cheating asshole and I didn’t see it. I don’t know.”

He dropped his head back with a soft thud against the desk he was leaning against, letting out an exasperated breath.

 “For God’s sake, Birdie.”

“And I’m not even sad that I broke up with him, I’m just sad that—” You nibbled on your lip, then slid a little on the ground with a huff. “It was easier to ignore it when I was with Max.”

“Ignore what?” Bucky asked and you dug the heels of your palms on your eyes like it could help push back the tears, then dropped your hands.

“I have this voice in my head,” you rasped out. “All the time.”

Bucky’s gaze on you was almost too hot. “What does it say?”

“That…” It felt like you were swallowing coals. “That it’s too difficult. To love me. That—that no one will fall in love with me.”

 A stunned silence fell upon the office. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the confusion on Bucky’s face like he couldn’t tell whether you were serious or not, but realization dawned on him after a couple of seconds, making him exhale. You could still feel his piercing blue eyes on you, but you made yourself busy with peeling the label off the whiskey bottle, sniffling.

His voice was low when he spoke: “I’ve got bad news for that voice.”

You raised your brows, still busy with the label. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Someone will kill it one day.”

That made you huff out a laugh and you rubbed at your eye with the back of your hand before turning to see him watching you with a fond light in his gaze. You scrunched up your nose, then held out your pinky, coaxing a chuckle out of him before he reached out to hook his pinky with yours, a warmth spreading from your hand to your whole body.

“Someone will kill it like an assassin,” you said, determination laced in your tone as you stuck your nose in the air and he gave you a soft smile.

“Someone will kill it,” he repeated. “Like an assassin.”

It felt physically impossible to look away from his handsome face, and you could feel your heartbeat getting faster, but before you could say anything he frowned and turned his head like he—

“Birdie? You here?”

Of course Bucky had heard Caleb before you.

You slowly pulled your hand back and cleared your throat, trying to pull yourself together as you stood up.

“Paul’s office!”  

Caleb’s footsteps came closer before he peeked his head in.

“Hey,” he said, his eyes darting between you two as Bucky stood up as well. “Kels is outside. Bucky, are you joining us? We’re gonna do shots.”

Bucky shook his head.

“I’m gonna go home, but you guys have fun.” He stole a look at you. “And be safe please?”

“Always am,” you said with a small smile and followed Caleb out of the office, then both of you stepped outside to approach Kelsey.

“Did I interrupt something?” Caleb teased you, making Kelsey raise her brows.

“What’s going on?”

“She was drinking whiskey with Bucky in the office.”

Kelsey’s jaw dropped. “What?”

“Anything you’d like to share with the class, Birdie?”

“Oh, not much,” you said as you started walking with them rushing to catch up with you. “Today I found out I have been cheated on, that Hazel hates me and asked Bucky to fire me and that apparently, Bucky is perfect in bed. But hey, how was your day?”   

Chapter 8: Diplomacy

Summary:

The first day of work can be stressful.

Well.

This was exactly what the first day of school used to feel like.

You couldn’t stop the sigh leaving your lips as you stared up at the Capitol Building, trying to ignore the anxiety churning your stomach. You knew you were supposed to go in, but somehow your legs refused to listen to you, so you exhaled slowly the way your therapist had taught you to get at least some sort of—

“It’s not too late to change your mind.”

You jumped out of your skin, then pressed a hand over your chest and glared at Bucky.

“What did I say about sneaking up on people?”

“In my defense, you looked pretty out of it already.” He shrugged his shoulders. “And as I said; not too late to change your mind. We can still leave.”

“Right,” you said with a laugh. “So we just forget about the Congress and everything and go away?”

He grinned. “Mm hm.”

“Where?”

“Brooklyn.”

You tilted your head. “Except that Brooklyn elected you as their representative, I feel like they’d ask what the hell you’re doing there.”

“You make a good point,” he said and thought for a moment. “Okay, new plan.”

“I’m listening.”

“We get new names and identities, move to a small town where no one knows us, and grow old and gray there in peace. We never check the news, ever.”

Your heart skipped a beat but you tried to focus. “Do we have to change Alpine’s name too?”

“I don’t think she’d let us,” he said, a soft smile pulling at his lips. “She missed you, by the way.”

This was not flirting.

This was just friendly. That was it. Two friends talking.

About running away together.

“I missed her too,” you said. “How does she like your new place?”

“She doesn’t,” he murmured before turning to glance at the building. “We’re gonna be fine.”

“Are you talking to me or yourself?”

“Yes.”

You repressed a laugh and bumped your shoulder against his.

“Come on,” you said as you started walking with him next to you. “Today is your day, and you’re gonna be very busy.”

“Yeah, the schedule was pages long,” he said. “I have meetings with people I don’t even know about.”

“Think of it like your debutante ball,” you told him. “They all want to see if you’re the right fit for them, how much dowry you have, and if they can bed you.”

“Please talk to me about something else.”

“Okay. “You shrugged your shoulders. “Onto some heartwarming news; I told Max to go fuck himself last night.”

Bucky frowned. “Hold on, he’s still calling you?”

“I called him,” you said. “He got the apartment after I prepared my boxes and stuff, and I paid the movers extra so that they would move everything without me being there, but apparently Max went through my boxes even if he refuses to admit it, because Blinky is not in any of them.”

“Who’s Blinky?” He paused for a moment. “Or what is Blinky?”

“Blinky is my childhood plushie,” you said. “It’s a fox plushie with one eye, the other eye fell off on the first day, that’s why I named him that. I took him everywhere I moved, and guess what? Max refuses to give him back.”

“Well, that’s interesting information.”

“I know, right?” you asked as you both walked into the building and held up your IDs to go through the security even if Bucky didn’t need to do that. “He claims he hasn’t seen him, but I’m so sure he hides him somewhere in the apartment.”

“You have a toy?”

“It’s a plushie.”

“It’s a toy.”

“It’s a plushie—you know what, I’m not going to stand in the Capitol hallway to argue semantics about my nostalgic childhood plushie with you,” you said while Bucky grinned at you. “You have one thousand things to do and so do I, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

That wiped his grin off his face. “Wait, tomorrow? You’re not gonna be around?”

“I’ll be gone all day.”

His eyes widened and he shook his head.

“Birdie, no—”

“I have the orientation, I’ll have to meet everyone and stuff, and apparently there’s this tour… It’ll be chaotic. Kels will be with you though, and Caleb as well.”

“But it wouldn’t take you all day,” Bucky tried to convince you as if you were the one who planned the schedule. “What are they going to do, make you tour the place twice? Just tell them you have stuff to do.”

“This is my stuff to do.”

“So you’re leaving me alone with these people?”

You tried not to laugh at the look of betrayal on his face.

“These people are going to be your colleagues,” you reminded him. “So you need to make friends with them. You don’t need me for that.”

“I do need you for that, actually,” he argued. “I don’t…I don’t make friends.”

“Fine, don’t make friends with them, just be civil. You charmed half of Brooklyn, remember?”

“Because you were there.”

“You’ve been through literally the hardest things anyone can go through—”

“To repeat, none of those things required making friends. Or socializing for that matter.”

“You’ll be fine, and I’ll drop by the office if I can,” you assured him. “But remember. Diplomacy. That’s the currency here.”

Bucky took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah.”

You took a step to leave, then turned around again to look at him.

“I feel like this goes without saying when it comes to diplomacy, but do not glare at or threaten anyone.”   

Bucky stared at you as if you had just asked him whether Alpine could fly and you pursed your lips, then rolled your shoulders back.

“It’s gonna go great,” you muttered to yourself as you started walking again. “Diplomacy, here we come.”

---

Okay, you expected today to be chaotic, but you did not know it would be this chaotic.

It felt like for the whole day you had been running to one place or the other, and by the time you had found some time to yourself, it was way past lunch time. You had about half an hour until the next item on the schedule so you figured you could drop by Bucky’s office to talk to Kelsey and Caleb and see how Bucky was doing so far.

When you entered the office, most of the team was busy with either their phones or laptops, but Caleb and Kelsey were watching Bucky’s closed door, having a discussion in whispers. You tilted your head, then made your way to them.

 “Is everything okay?”

“What are you doing here?” Caleb asked. “My orientation lasted all day.”

“Mine will too, I just got a break—what is happening?”

Kelsey licked her lips. “Guess who asked for a last minute meeting with Bucky.”

“Who?”

“Amos Drexel.”

Your stomach dropped and you gawked at her. “Sorry?”

“I think you guys are the only people who know this person.”

 “I’ve been memorizing everyone’s faces and names and titles since the election night,” she said. “And trust me, people know who he is. People in high places, if you know what I mean.”

“Kels, he’s just a consultant.”

Kelsey scoffed. “He’s not just a consultant, Caleb.”

“A lobbyist.”

“Lobbyists come and go, this guy has been bribing and extorting the politicians for like, decades. He has half of them in his pocket.”

“I feel like I would’ve heard about him,” Caleb said and Kelsey shook her head.

“He’s too smart for that,” she said. “It’s easier for him if the public thinks he’s just a consultant. But trust me, every single politician here knows about him.”

“What is he doing here?” you asked, your heartbeat getting faster as you stole a look at the closed door. “I checked Bucky’s schedule this morning, he wasn’t there.”

“As I said, last minute meeting,” Kelsey said. “What was I supposed to do when Drexel wanted to see him, ask him to reschedule? I squeezed him in.”

“If he tries to bribe Bucky, I feel like he might kill him.”

“Obviously but that’s not the point,” Kelsey said while you grabbed her penholder so that you could do something with your hands. “The point is, if Drexel is here, it means he wants to—”

You dropped the penholder as soon as the door opened, and you ducked under the desk to gather the pencils as he passed by the desk.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Barnes.” You heard him say as he walked out of the door and you put all the pens into the holder, then got up from under the desk, letting out a breath.

Bucky looked absolutely furious as he glared in the direction he had disappeared into before his eyes found yours, his gaze softening in a second. You gave him a tightlipped smile and put the holder on the desk—

And the rest of the room turned to the door again.

“Almost forgot.” His voice reached your ears, making your whole body tense up. “Honey? Your mom wants to know if you’re free for dinner next weekend.”

Oh.

Oh he had planned this.

Of course he did. He knew every schedule in this goddamn place, and he knew the moment you had a break, you’d come straight to Bucky’s office.

You forced yourself to ignore the whole team and Bucky staring at you, your cheeks burning in humiliation as you turned around to glare at your father who was standing by the door with a calm smile on his face.

“Make sure to text her please,” he told you. “Have a great first day.”

Then he walked away, leaving the whole office in a stunned silence.

You could feel the tears of frustration burning the back of your eyes but this was neither the time nor the place. You blinked a couple of times, clenching your jaw and then made a beeline into Bucky’s office with Caleb and Kelsey rushing after you. Kelsey closed the door behind her and you licked your lips, taking a deep breath.

“I can explain that—”

“He’s your father?” Caleb asked and you cleared your throat.

“Well…”

“Why is your surname different?”

“How is he your father?” Caleb and Kelsey asked at the same time and you cleared your throat.

“I’ve been asking the same question to my mother for ages now.” You tried to joke as you stole a look at Bucky who was just watching you with an unreadable look on his face.

“Your father is Amos Drexel and you still have roommates?” Kelsey asked, motioning at herself and Caleb, and you shook your head fervently.

“I’m broke.”

Caleb scoffed. “Oh come on—”

“No, I am.” You pulled your phone out to open up your bank app, then showed the screen to them. “See? Totally broke.”

That seemed to have snapped Bucky out of the haze he was in. “Wait, you need money?”

“Nope,” you said quickly. “No I don’t.”

Caleb stared at your phone screen. “How is that even possible?”

“I got myself a separate bank account when I was eighteen,” you said. “I wouldn’t touch his money with a gun to my head, I know where it comes from. And before you ask, I won’t touch it when he dies either, it will go straight to charity.”

“And he’s okay with that?”

“Not at all but he ignores it, just like he ignores how I’ve been begging him to disown me for years,” you said and turned to Bucky. “Please say something.”

Bucky just held your gaze for a moment before taking a deep breath.

“Your surname is different?”

“I changed it to my mother’s maiden name the day I turned eighteen,” you said. “You should’ve seen the paperwork.”

Bucky pointed at the door. “Birdie, I just told your father to go to hell.”

“You—” Kelsey’s eyes widened. “You told him to go to hell?”

“With different words.”

“What words?”

Bucky raised his brows, then motioned at her and you. “You two are here, I can’t exactly say what I said.”

“Bucky how many times must we tell you that people can curse around—” Caleb started but Kelsey cut him off, throwing her head back to look up at the ceiling like she was asking for help.

“Jesus, we’re not gonna last a term.”

“Would he assassinate him?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “No one is going to assassinate me, Caleb.”

“Hypothetically, would it even count as assassination if he killed you?”

“No.”

“I was going to say who died and left you in charge of assassinations, but I think everyone in this room knows the answer—”

“Bucky, I don’t think you understand,” Kelsey insisted. “Let’s say you’re Aragorn, this guy is Sauron!”

You made a face.

“He’s not Sauron, his power does have a limit.” You paused for a moment. “He’s Saruman at best.”

“Thanks, that makes it so much better—”

“Can we have the room?” Bucky cut her off and Kelsey and Caleb exchanged glances, then left the office. You could feel the anxiety churning your stomach but you swallowed thickly, keeping your eyes on him.

“Bucky…”

“Why not tell me?”

You let out a bitter laugh. “Would you have hired me?”

He frowned. “Of course I would.”

“And how would that go? Here’s my resume, oh by the way, my father bribes and extorts politicians for a living?” you asked. “See, I don’t think you would.”

“So your solution was to keep it a secret? Even after we—” He stopped himself. “Even after we started working together?”

Your heart skipped a beat.

“I couldn’t just tell you,” you said. “Listen, I wanted to work in politics, and…”

“And you could’ve easily got a job here,” Bucky told you. “You didn’t have to wait until I got elected.”

“Do you think that’s why I’m doing this?” you asked. “Bucky, I don’t want to work for a politician who is only gonna hire me because of my father, he stands for the opposite of everything I believe in—”

“And it’s been like that from the beginning?” he asked, making you pull back. “From the first minute we started working together?”

When the realization crashed down on you, it tightened your throat like a fist.

“You don’t believe me,” you muttered, biting inside your cheek and he let out a breath.

“Birdie, listen—”

“No, you listen,” you cut him off. “The next time you accuse me of working for my father, or—or having anything to do with his corruption, I will walk away, Bucky. I’ll pick one of the many job offers being thrown at me from someone who’s not in my father’s pocket -surprisingly, there are still some of those- and I’ll go and work for them. So I guess the question you should be asking is, do you really want that to happen?”

With that, you stormed out of the office and made your way to the stairs without sparing anyone a glance, your heart still pounding in your chest.

---

Well needless to say, as far as first days went, that one was not so good.

You had gone straight home after work without dropping by Bucky’s office again. Caleb came home an hour after you, and Kelsey was the last one to arrive, and they had a lot of questions.

At least they had both brought booze and snacks.

And now, way past midnight, all of you were sitting on the floor, still drinking and snacking but the air felt much lighter.

“I just want to say, Birdie,” Caleb said. “Even if your father is a demon sent from hell to bribe politicians, we love you.”

“Aw, thanks Caleb.”

“Can I also point out that,” Kelsey said, reaching for some chips, “it sure is weird that we have a TV, a fucking gramophone—”

“No badmouthing my gramophone, Kels.”

“But we don’t have a couch?”

“We’ll buy a couch,” you said, throwing a piece of chocolate in air to catch it with your mouth. “Like, next month. When we can afford it.”

“Maybe we should let your father know his daughter doesn’t have a couch, so that he can send us a gold one.”

You shot her a look and she grinned.

“These jokes will continue, just so you know.”

“I know, I know…” you muttered and pointed at the TV. “Swipe left.”

“No, swipe right!” Caleb told Kelsey who tilted her head, still holding her thumb over her phone screen. You had connected her phone to the TV and for over an hour you were going over the ‘options’ for her as Caleb had put it, and even though you’d had doubts at first, this turned out to be much more fun than watching political news.

“I mean he does give off fuckboy vibes, Caleb.”

“I don’t give a shit, he has a dog,” Caleb said. “One of us has to find someone with a dog. Birdie already has Bucky, who has an asshole cat—”

“I don’t have Bucky, and Alpine is a pretty princess.”

“And I’m a dog person,” Caleb said, pointing at the picture on the screen. “Maybe he’ll bring over his dog.”

“You make a good point,” Kelsey said as she swiped right, and all of you made a face at the next picture on the screen.

“Left!”

“Do you guys think I’ll have to work for someone else?”

“I think Bucky would rather resign himself than fire you,” Kelsey stated and Caleb nodded, taking a fistful of jellybeans into his palm.

“She’s right,” he said. “Do you want the green ones?”

“Yes please,” you said and held out your hand so that he could put the green jellybeans in your palm, and you popped them in your mouth. “And if he doesn’t trust me anymore?”

“That’s why he looked like a kicked puppy when I told Kels you were already home within his earshot?”

You let out a whine and downed your drink. “It’s gonna be so weird when I see him tomorrow.”

“Just pretend nothing happened,” Kelsey said, making Caleb scoff.  

“I’m sure it’s a very healthy approach to disagreements in a relationship.”

“We’re not in a relationship,” you said sulkily as the roar of a motorcycle outside reached the apartment. “He’s in a relationship with Hazel fucking—swipe right on this one Kels—Brooks.”

“Who hates your guts because she knows Bucky likes you.”

“Right,” you said with a laugh. “Because Bucky would ever leave his hot, successful, billionaire girlfriend —who is, if I may repeat, super hot— to be with me.”

“That’s irrelevant.”

You flailed your arms. “We don’t even have a damn couch, Kels!”

“Then he fucks you on the floor, who cares?” Caleb exclaimed as he poured more wine into your glass, and your phone buzzed on the floor. You picked it up, sitting up straighter the moment you saw the text.

From: Winter Is Coming

Hey. Are you awake?

“What the…” you muttered and turned the screen to Caleb and Kelsey so that they could read the text. “Is this a ‘you up’ text? Is Bucky sending me a you up text?”

“The man has to google half of the things I text him, but he’s sending you a you up text, sure.” Kelsey scoffed a laugh. “See, told you things would work out. That’s gonna be an apology text, text him back.”

You sent a quick yes, your heartbeat getting faster as Caleb grinned.

“He’s so lying in bed thinking about you, aw!”

“He’s not doing that— ” You started but you were cut off when your phone buzzed in your hand.

Do you mind stepping outside for a minute?

“Holy shit!”

“Caleb, stop shouting!”

“He’s here?!”

“Oh my God, oh my God…” You jumped on your feet, fanning yourself. “What do I do?”

“Well, you calm down,” Kelsey said, getting up as well. “And you go outside.”

“How do I look?”

“You look great.” Kelsey pulled your top down a little and wiggled her brows. “For good luck.”

You took a deep breath, fixed your hair, and rushed out of the apartment to make your way downstairs, then you stepped out of the building to find him leaning against his motorcycle. 

Goddamn it.

You were supposed to be angry at him, but somehow the butterflies in your stomach refused to listen to you.

“To repeat,” you said as you walked down the stairs and approached him. “I have a doorbell.”

“It’s 2 a.m.” Bucky replied, his eyes fixed on you, making your heart skip a beat. “I figured Caleb and Kelsey would be asleep.”

“Nope, we’re picking guys for Kelsey,” you said. “So what brings you here?”

Bucky paused for a moment and licked his lips.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he said. “About today…”

“Listen, I know you’re gonna say I should’ve told you but you need to understand—”

“I’m sorry.”

That made you stop talking and your eyes snapped up to his, a confused frown pulling your brows together. Bucky gave you an apologetic smile and cleared his throat as if he was willing to get the words out.

“I don’t like it when people hide things from me, and I…” He rubbed the back of his neck, averting his eyes from yours for a moment. “I trust you a lot, so when you—”

You shook your head fervently. “Bucky, I would never betray your trust.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” you insisted. “Because I need you to know that. I would never go behind your back and do anything to—to hurt you in any way.”

That soft light appeared in his blue eyes. “I know.”

“It’s just not who I am.”

“I know, Birdie.”

You bit inside your cheek.

“And I’m sorry too,” you muttered, pressing your palms on your eyes for a moment before dropping your hands. “I swear, something evil comes out of me whenever someone so much as mentions me being anything like him. Especially when I spent years trying to prove that I’m not.”

“I get that.”

You looked down, shifting your weight from one foot to other, then raised your head to smile up at him.

“Do you want to come in?” you asked. “You can help us pick guys for Kels, and there’s wine and snacks.”

“Tempting offer,” he said. “But I’m actually here to drop something off.”

You frowned as he reached into the box behind his motorcycle. “What? I’m pretty sure I got all the files—”

You stopped talking the moment you saw what he pulled out of the box, a gasp leaving your lips and your hands shooting up to your mouth.

Blinky.

He held out the worn out plushie for you and you gawked at him for a couple of seconds before you reached out to take it.

“Wh—how?”

“It was on my way.”

You pulled your brows together, looking down at the fox plushie before raising your glances again.

“My old apartment, which is in New York,” you said slowly, “was on your way to your home, which is in DC.”

Bucky’s lips twitched into a mischievous smile.

“Well okay, it wasn’t,” he admitted. “I just got back to the city, that’s why I texted you at this hour.”

You could feel your heart melting in your chest. “You went all the way to New York to get my childhood plushie back?”

“I still think that counts as a toy,” he pointed out as if it was crucial information. “But you said it was important to you, so…”

Don’t kiss him.

You can’t kiss him. He’s your boss, he has a girlfriend, he does not see you that way, do not kiss him.

“And if anything, I’d been wanting to talk to Max for a while now, so the toy was basically just an excuse.”

“It a plushie—” You changed directions mid-sentence. “What do you mean you talked to Max?”

The look on his face was too innocent. “We just had a conversation, that’s all.”

“About?”

“About him not making anything difficult for you. Or something along those lines.”   

The warmth swirled in the pit of your stomach, making you feel lightheaded as you beamed at him, a giggle climbing your chest.

“Bucky.” You breathed out. “I don’t know what to say…”

“Oh it’s nothing, really.”

“It’s not nothing,” you said. “It’s—it’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

That made his head snap up, his eyes searching yours while a proud smile pulled at his lips like your praise meant the world to him. It could’ve been funny if you weren’t trying so hard to control yourself from kissing him; the deadliest assassin in the world, the infamous Bucky Barnes who barely smiled at anyone, who could strike fear in anyone’s hearts with a mere glare, now had the same expression of an excited puppy who was given a treat.

His throat bobbed and he blinked a couple of times like he was trying to pull himself together, then gestured at his motorcycle. “I uh, I should go.”

You were painfully aware that you were pouting. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he said. “And hey, I’m sure you’re needed inside too. Can’t have Kelsey choose the wrong guy.”

You huffed out a laugh, hugging a plushie to your stomach and nodded.

“See you tomorrow,” you said quietly and took a couple of steps but then turned around to look at him.

“And…” You cleared your throat, your heart pacing in your chest. “Thank you. It means more than you know.”

His voice was soft: “Good night Birdie.”

He waited until you were in the building to ride away and you pressed a hand over your chest before climbing the stairs to enter your apartment.

“Hey,” Kelsey said. “How did it—is that a plushie?”

“Bucky got you a plushie?” Caleb asked, confusion clear in his tone and you looked down at the plushie, then back at them.

“Guys, we have a problem,” you rasped out, your voice weak even to your own ears. “I think I’m actually falling for him.”

Chapter 9: Overprotective

Summary:

Some lines shouldn’t be crossed.

One had to be fast and adaptable in order to work in politics, everyone knew that. The excitement was one of the best things about it, and you thought you knew just how chaotic it could get.

Until you moved to DC with Bucky and the rest of the team.

This was a whole different level. Your caffeine intake had doubled up in the last month, you were waking up from your sleep to note down ideas to add into the draft you were working on, and just last week someone had started an argument at the cafeteria because apparently he had been so on edge due to not having slept in two days, so needless to say you were right in your element.

And at least all this chaos distracted you from your feelings for Bucky.

…Mostly.

“Yeah no, we are not adding that,” you said, holding the phone between your shoulder and your ear, mouthing thank you to the barista as you took the cup. “No way.”

“Did you check the revisions?”

“I actually did, and they’re still very open to interpretation.” You rolled your eyes. “No offense, but it’s an amateur loophole.”

“Can you at least make sure Barnes sees it?”

You scoffed a laugh.

“John, I know we don’t exactly know each other, but trust me when I say Congressman Barnes is not going to see that draft until I give the okay, and I won’t give the okay until you fix the parts I asked you to.”

“He—”

“I speak for him,” you cut him off. “Before you ask again.”

He heaved a sigh. “You’ll have it before the recess.”

“Thank you,” you said and hung up, then shook your head and made your way through the hallway to the stairs, but your head whipped around when you heard someone calling out your name. A cute guy strode to you, making you tilt your head when he leaned down a little with his palms on his knees to catch his breath.

“Jesus, they were not joking about you,” he commented, still out of breath, then held up your wallet, making your jaw drop. “You forgot this.”

“Oh my God!” You took the wallet from him. “Thank you.”

He cleared his throat and gave you a smile.

“I’m Lucas, I work for Congresswoman Gray,” he said, offering his hand and you shook it, introducing yourself as well.

“Oh I know,” he said. “Trust me, everyone knows. You work for Barnes, and you’re Drexel’s prodigal daughter who climbed her way to the Congress.”

“Well, could’ve been worse,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders, then took a sip of your coffee. “Hold on, what did you mean? They weren’t joking about me?”

“Your nickname.”

“Sorry?”

“You’re the new kid on the block,” he said. “You all have nicknames. Don’t worry, I had one too when I first got here.”

You blinked a couple of times. “Wh—what’s my nickname?”

“Well, you scared the shit out of Harry when he tried to bypass you, your name is already in a draft, and on your first week here you managed to charm Congresswoman Lawrence, which, she is not impressed easily.”

“So the nickname is…?”

“Hurricane on heels.”

You made a face and shook your head, then started making your way to the office with him walking beside you.

“I talked to Congresswoman Gray on the election night.”

“Oh I know, she really wants you,” he said. “The minute Barnes lets you go…”

You hummed. “And what makes you think he’d let me go?”

“Well he won’t if he’s smart,” Lucas said. “But seriously, I checked your credentials that night. You’re pretty good.”

“Thank you,” you said as you entered the office and he followed you to your desk, making Caleb and Kelsey exchange glances before they turned to watch him. You stole a look at Bucky who was reading the file you had given him, then forced yourself to turn to Lucas.

“I’m in charge of the clean energy draft team,” he said. “And I happened to have read your project last weekend.”

“You just read random projects on your weekends?”

“Only if the person who writes them is as pretty as they are smart.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Bucky’s head snapping up and you arched a brow, then repressed a smile.

“Wow. Smooth.”

“Not my best work,” Lucas said, making you huff out a laugh while Bucky stood up from his chair to make his way through his office. “No but seriously, I meant—you have good ideas, we have a draft, and the people we work for have the same political stance. Why not work on it together?”

“I was told the bill wouldn’t be ready until next year, so I made my schedule accordingly.”

“We’re pushing for six months.”

“And I’m pushing for a dessert bar in the office.” You snorted. “Equal odds. You can’t pass it in six months.”

“We think we can.”

You thought for a moment.

“No offense, but I’ve only seen the first version of that bill. If I’m going to move it up, I’d need to see the revisions you’ve made since then.”

“Not a problem, I’ll send it right now,” he said, taking his phone out oblivious to Bucky who was leaning sideways to the doorframe, glaring daggers at him while he held the back of Caleb’s chair as if he wanted to do something with his hands. Caleb craned his neck to look up at him, then turned to you and wiggled his brows.

“There,” Lucas said. “Just emailed you.”

You looked down at your phone. “Oh, thanks.”

“And if you want, we can grab coffee this weekend to discuss—”

Your head shot up when a crack echoed through the room, making you turn your attention to Bucky who apparently had grabbed the back of the chair too tight.

“Jesus Christ, could’ve been my fucking neck…” Caleb muttered, standing up from the chair and Bucky cleared his throat, putting the small piece of wood on Kelsey’s desk.

“I uh—the arm malfunctioned.”

Kelsey raised her brows. “It can do that?”

“You were holding the chair with your right hand, Bucky,” Caleb added helpfully while Bucky kept glaring at Lucas and you looked between them, your brows furrowed.

What the hell was happening?

“Who are you?”

“I’m Lucas Anderson, Congressman Barnes. I work for Congresswoman Gray, it’s an honor to meet you.”

Bucky didn’t even dignify that with a response and Lucas shifted his weight under his glare, then turned to you.

“I’ll—I’ll email you, is that okay?”

“Sure!”

“See you later, Hurricane.” He joked as walked out of the office, and Caleb grinned as if he was having the time of his life while Kelsey rolled her eyes, muttering something that awfully sounded like “men” under her breath.

“You know, it wouldn’t physically hurt you to be nice,” you told Bucky as you followed him into his office and shut the door behind you.

“It might.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Bucky.”

“Hm?”

“You scared the poor guy.”

“Good,” he said as you sat down across from his desk. “Maybe next time he will think twice before pulling that nonsense.”

“What nonsense?”

“He—” Bucky gestured at the door. “He crossed the line.”

You hummed. “And the line would be…?”

“He asked you out!” Bucky insisted, making you let out a laugh.

“To discuss the clean energy bill that bounced months ago!”

He shot you a look. “Birdie.”

“He just wants to work together and get that bill passed.”

“That’s an excuse,” Bucky told you. “A gateway. That’s how it starts. One minute he’s talking to you about the bill, the next minute he’s trying to convince you to go to his place and then…”

You tilted your head. “Why do you sound like one of those vintage anti-drug PSA movies?”

“I don’t trust him.”

“After all those two minutes you spent in the same room?”

 “And what was that hurricane thing?”

You slipped a little on the seat and rolled your eyes. “Apparently, we all have nicknames now that we’re the new guys.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched. “So not only did he ask you out, he already gave you a nickname?”

Of course Bucky wasn’t jealous.

He didn’t get jealous over you.

“I don’t think he was the one who came up with that nickname—”

“What’s next?” he asked. “Moving in together?”

“No, we will actually elope,” you told him, trying to keep a straight face. “Right after I get pregnant out of wedlock. Because apparently we’re just tossing impossible scenarios around now.”

If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought the big bad scary Winter Soldier was sulking.

“I’m being serious.”

“You’re being childish.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Only one person in this room has a toy.”

“For the millionth time, it’s a plushie,” you said and pointed at him with your phone. “And keep Blinky out of this.”

“The guy asked you out,” he insisted as if he was trying to make you see an undeniable truth. “It’s very clear what his intentions are!”

“I’ll react exactly the same way the next time a congresswoman wants to discuss anything with you,” you said with a grin. “I’ll be screaming my head off about how they’re after your virtue at the door.”

“To repeat, people aren’t asking me out on dates in the middle of the office.”

“Well that makes two of us, because he did not ask me out on a date,” you retorted before scoffing a bitter laugh. “It’s not like I could’ve gone anyway, by the way. I’m going to be very busy this weekend, remember?”

His gaze softened in a second. “Dinner with your family?”

“Yep,” you said. “I’ll do that on Saturday, and probably I’ll spend the entire Sunday trying to pull myself together. So no dates.”

His jaw tightened.

“Birdie, I’ve been thinking,” he said. “Maybe I should come with you.”

You pulled your brows together. “What?”

“Yeah, to dinner.”

“Don’t you think it’d be a bit weird if I took my boss to my family dinner?” you asked with a grin. “Not to mention, you told my father to go fuck himself the last time you saw him, which I’m incredibly thankful for, but unlike me he didn’t like it.”

“Someone should be watching your back in there.”

You could feel a pleasant warmth blooming in your chest.

“Bucky, I’m not going to war,” you reminded him. “It’s just family dinner.”

“How about that time you lost your voice after that screaming match?”

You smiled. “I didn’t know you still remembered that.”

He looked at you like a kicked puppy as if the only way to soothe him was to let him come with you to dinner. You heaved a sigh at his furrowed brows and his downturned lips, and had to physically grip the arm of your chair so that you wouldn’t fling yourself to him to kiss away that expression.

 “My mom will be there,” you managed to say. “She’s the only reason I said yes to that dinner anyway. And she doesn’t like it when we talk politics or when we fight, so we will play nice.”

“But will he?” he insisted and you thought for a moment, then nodded your head.

“Oh yeah,” you said. “And either way, you don’t need to worry about me. I will be totally fine.”

---

Well.

You had spoken too soon.

If anything, the dinner had started pretty normal. You made sure to stick to the topics your mother chattered away; about her vacation plans for the summer, her retreats and the families of her friends.

But of course, eventually the main topic of the conversation turned to you.

“Your father tells me you’re knocking everyone out the park in the Congress!” she said. “How’s that going?”

You nodded vigorously, sitting up straighter.

“I think people like me,” you said. “Just today one of the people who work for Congresswoman Gray told me she wants to work with me on the clean energy bill, it bounced a couple of months ago I don’t know if you remember—”

Your father frowned. “You’ll work with Gray?”

“Yeah.”

“Seriously? Gray of all people in the Congress?”

“I think she’s very successful.”

“Not very successful at passing bills.”

Nope.

Nope, you were not going to take that bait.

You licked your lips and turned to your mother.

“But also, Bucky is doing a great job,” you said, a smile warming your face the moment his name left your lips. “We are actually working on this veteran bill, and then after that we’ll focus on the education of children in low income families, it’s going to be amazing. I have so many ideas and he supports all of them.”

“And he is quite handsome,” your mother said and you bit back a giggle.

“Um, it’s—we actually joke about it a lot at work,” you said. “Like, half the reason why he got elected was because of his looks.”

“And because people love a hopeless idealist,” your father said, making you narrow your eyes.

“He’s not a hopeless idealist. He wants to help people just like I do.”

Your mother took a sip of her wine. “And he used to be an Avenger, no?”

“Yeah.”

“And before that, he used to be an assassin,” your father added and you scoffed.

“Not by his own choice.”

“Oh I’ve seen the PR campaign you guys ran,” your father said. “I mean it’s good, don’t get me wrong, but some of us aren’t naïve enough to fall for that.”

You bit inside your cheek, commanding yourself to be calm.

“What’s his star sign, by the way?” your mother asked and you huffed out a laugh.

“Pisces.”

“Aw, no wonder why you two get along.”

 “Really?” You made sure to keep your voice flat. “I didn’t know that.”

That right there was a goddamn lie. You definitely knew.

Kelsey had pulled up his birth records to check your compatibility just the other day.

“I don’t trust him,” you father said. “I mean, his past…”

Don’t take the bait.

Do not take the bait.

“And regardless of what your bleeding heart tells you Pumpkin, some people don’t deserve second chances. Least of all the Winter Soldier.”

Fuck it, let’s take the fucking bait. 

“He is not the Winter Soldier anymore, and he is the best man I’ve ever met in my entire life,” Pride was laced in your tone, making your mother tilt her head while your father raised his brows. “He’s smart, he’s loyal, he’s brave—before he was tortured and brainwashed, he fought in the Second World War with Howling Commandos and Captain America. He put his life on the line to protect people, and then HYDRA took him, they tortured him, they…they put him through things no human being could survive.”

Your mother grabbed her wine glass to down it, then filled it again.

“Then, when he actually broke through decades of brainwashing, people said all that shit about him, and even then he tried to save the world. He tried to protect people knowing that those same people could imprison him for something he couldn’t control, something—something HYDRA made him do,” you said, your voice trembling with emotion. “I don’t give a shit about his past, I’d follow him anywhere.”  

And just like that, the mood of the room shifted.

“…That’s quite the loyalty for your boss,” your father pointed out, his glare enough to pin anyone to their spot but you glared back at him.

“Yeah,” you said, your nose in the air. “Yeah, and you know what? I’m not going to let you or anyone else disrespect him.”

“I’m sure your father didn’t mean—”

“No mom, he did. And Bucky deserves better than being criticized like that,” you insisted and turned to your father. “I’d trust Bucky with my life. So how about you show him some goddamn respect when we both know you wouldn’t be able to survive if you went through quarter of the things he went through?”

Your father kept his eyes on you as if he was trying to read your mind and you let out a breath, then pushed your chair back and stood up.

“I’ll talk to you later, mom,” you muttered and your mother heaved a sigh.

“Honey, please sit down.”

“I have things to do,” you said, averting your gaze from your father. “I’ll call you later.”

With that, you walked out of the house, your ears still muffled with blood rushing in them, fury pounding in your head.

---

Fine.

Alright, maybe you had lost control and went all “But daddy I love him!”

Whatever.

 You were still angry but you managed to smile at the Uber driver and thanked him when he pulled over in front of your place. You got out of the car, trying to decide whether to ask Caleb and Kelsey if they needed anything before going in, but before you could pull your phone out, you heard a familiar voice.

“So how did it go?”

Bucky.

You could feel the anger leaving your body as you turned around to look at him, a smile warming your face. He was leaning against his motorbike, his gaze fixed on you as you heaved a sigh, then shrugged your shoulders.

“That bad?” he asked and you nodded, biting inside your cheek. He eyed you up and down, then licked his lips and nodded at the small pub around the block.

“Come on.”

“What?”

“You look like you need a drink,” he said and pushed himself off the motorbike, then gently touched the small of your back to steer you. “So we’re going to drink.”

“What are you doing here?” you asked as you started walking beside him, and he shrugged.

“I was worried about you.”

Like it was normal.

Like it was an everyday occurrence.

Matter of fact, simple, and honest. I was worried about you.

“How’s your throat?”

You shook your head. “It wasn’t a shouting match.”

“But…?”

“But it wasn’t pleasant,” you said slowly. “But hey, it’s not like we expected pleasant, right?”

He hummed as you both entered the small pub and sat down at the closest table, Bucky ordering two glasses of whiskey for you. You put your bag beside you and looked for your compact mirror, but it was very hard to find it with the files you had taken to your father so that you could go over them if you had the time, so you pulled out the files out of your bag first to put them on the table, then checked yourself in the mirror.

At least your makeup was still fine.

Bucky watched you while you put the mirror back in your bag and the waiter brought your drinks to place them on the table. You smiled at him, then turned to Bucky to gently clink your glass against his.

“Thank you,” you muttered and he raised his glass a little.

“Don’t mention it, Birdie.”

You took a sip of your whiskey, then let out a breath and leaned back, running a hand over your face.

“Gosh, it was a disaster,” you whined, pressing your palms on your eyes, then dropped your hands. “Like, yes there was no shouting but I think I basically gave my father a very passionate TED talk—not that he didn’t deserve it.” You added in a hurry. “He did. He crossed the line.”

You took another sip and made a face.

“And like— what gives him the right to even…even criticize?” you asked, motioning vaguely. “As if he knows what he’s talking about. It’s not just crossing the line, it’s also the audacity. You know?”

“I don’t actually,” Bucky said with a small smile. “You’re gonna need to give me some idea about what happened if you want me to contribute to this conversation.”

You scoffed. “He’s just vile. No respect whatsoever.”

“What was it?” Bucky asked. “The bill we’re working on? The projects? The clean energy—”

“You.”

Confusion pinched his brows together. “What?”

“He badmouthed you.”

For a couple of seconds, he only stared at you without even saying anything, and you could almost see the wheels turning in his head while he tried to wrap his mind around what you said.

His voice was soft when he spoke: “Birdie…”

“I know what you’re going to say.” You shook your head. “So save it.”

“You shouldn’t do that.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Well, good thing it’s my choice and not yours.”

“Listen, don’t get me wrong,” he said. “Obviously I hate your father, but you shouldn’t just throw yourself into a fight because of me.”

“To repeat, he said bad things about you!”

“Sweetheart, a lot of people say bad things about me.”

The patient tone of his deep voice combined with that term of endearment was enough to wake a fire underneath your cheeks but you licked your lips, trying to focus.

“Well, they can’t say it in front of me though, can they?” you asked, determination clear in your voice. “No. Because tough shit.”

“You—”

“That’s simply not going to happen,” you insisted, “because I won’t allow it.”

“That’s not how it—”

“I’ll protect you.”

You only became aware of the silence falling upon him after you took a sip of your whiskey. You frowned slightly and put your glass down, then turned to see him watching you with awe etched on his handsome face, that fond light gleaming in his blue eyes.

Focus.

You gave him a quizzical glance and he tried to pull himself together.

“Sorry?” he managed to ask and you shrugged your shoulders.

“I’ll protect you,” you repeated, fire still burning your cheeks. “Do you have a problem with that?”

He paused for a moment as if he was surprised by your words, and a boyish smile flickered across his lips before he shook his head.

“No ma’am,” he said, that old Brooklyn accent peeking through his voice. “No problem at all.”

You held back the giggle threatening to climb your throat, then stuck your nose in the air.

“Good,” you said and held up your hand to motion at the waiter. “Glad we cleared that out. I’m gonna order fries, want some?”

Chapter 10: Damage Control

Summary:

Self-doubt can appear out of nowhere.

Contrary to popular belief, falling in love with one’s boss made life harder, not easier.

You kept seeing him at work, you lost your focus whenever you talked to him –or he walked by you, for that matter— and he was the main character of your dreams every night.

“Birdie, are you awake?”

Like now.

The daze of sleep disappeared, pulling you out of the pleasant dream and you let out a whine, burying your face into the pillow.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Caleb opened the door and stepped in, then sat by the edge of the bed. “Morning sunshine.”

You rolled onto your back, rubbing at your eyes before you dropped them. “I was dreaming about Bucky.”

“Like a sexy dream?”

You hummed. “It was basically a black and white movie.”

“Like a sexy black and white movie?”

“We were in a house,” you muttered. “It had a garden outside, I was wearing this vintage dress, and baking a pie—”

“So, not a sexy dream.”

“I don’t even know how to bake a pie.” You yawned, looking up at the ceiling with a frown. “And then he walked into the kitchen and kissed me, and asked where the kids were—actually, you know what? Now that I think about it; I feel like it was an episode of I Love Lucy.”

“Your subconscious is really not original.”

“I think I was wearing pearls or something,” you mused, making Caleb tilt his head.

“So you mixed a bunch of vintage movies together and decided that was the way to go?”

“To repeat, I don’t know how to bake a pie,” you insisted. “Obviously I didn’t dec—”

“Did you tell her yet?” Kelsey leaned on the doorframe with a cup of coffee in her hand and you looked between her and Caleb.

“Tell me what?”

Caleb paused for a moment, then cleared his throat.

“Okay, first of all,” he said. “As Bucky’s communications director, I assure you that we can easily spin this.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach and you pulled yourself up into a sitting position, your breathing getting faster.

“Spin what?”

“In fact, I’m confident that if we focus on offense, we won’t even have to go that hard into defense—”

“Caleb,” you cut him off. “Spin what?”

He heaved a sigh, then pulled out his phone, touched the screen and turned it to you.

Shit.

Oh shit.

It was a blurry picture of you and Bucky in that pub last night, in one of those gossip accounts.

“Okay, before you panic,” Caleb said while you stared at the phone with wide eyes, trying to find your breath. “The fact that he has a girlfriend plays right into our hand, I’ve already planned the—nope, don’t check the comments.” He snatched the phone out of your hand. “Birdie, listen to me.”

“…I’ll have to resign.”

“Literally what the fuck did I just say about panicking?” Caleb asked while Kelsey stifled a laugh.

“Caleb already came up with a plan and sent it everywhere. We’re working on it.”

 You blinked back the tears, wiping at your eyes. “Um…”

“And for the first time, you should be glad that Bucky is dating Hazel,” Caleb said. “I just talked to Bucky, and apparently Hazel already called him because she saw this as well, and decided to visit Bucky sometime this week because she missed him, and so that they can join that gala thing together.”

“And she wants to make sure she still has him,” Kelsey muttered and took a sip of her coffee and you shook your head.

“No no, guys you don’t understand—”

“I think I understand it better than you,” Caleb said. “It was a good call to put that file on the table.”

You frowned, trying to focus. “What?”

Caleb zoomed in the picture. “There’s a file. On the table.”

“I took it to my parents’ place just in case I could work on—”

“Nope,” Caleb said. “You were trying to work on two bills at the same time, you were feeling very overwhelmed because a lot of people want you on their team and this is literally your first month in the Congress, so Bucky, being a very attentive boss, had to insist on taking you out so that you could work on it outside the office. As the file on the table suggests. There is no kiss, you don’t even hold hands, there is literally no foundation to those accusations other than some blurry picture of two people who have made waves in politics enough to intimidate people. And now drumroll please, for the offense.”

“Caleb—”

“This is a terrible smear campaign not only on Congressman Barnes, who by the way, is in a committed relationship with Miss Brooks, but also on Mr. Drexel—”

“My father would never agree to get dragged into this.”

“Tough shit, I am dragging him into this to save you,” Caleb said. “But also on Mr. Drexel, who has served this country as a consultant for decades working with multiple cabinets. It’s at best tabloid gossip, at worst a planned attack that is designed to use the first woman the tabloids saw around Mr. Barnes, who has maintained a professional relationship with him throughout his campaign and is deeply disturbed by these rumors. Too long didn’t read; the only crime these two have is that they’re both fucking hot, there’s a file on the table, bitch are you blind?”

 “He’s good, isn’t he?” Kelsey asked with a grin while Caleb took a bow like an actor on stage while you gawked at him.

“And people will believe that?”

“Not all of them obviously, but most will believe that as long as he’s dating Hazel, and there’s no picture of a kiss between you and him,” Caleb said. “The moment a picture like that comes out, we are gonna be fucked.”

You shook your head fervently. “There’s no picture like that because me and Bucky have never kissed.”

“When you do, please do it inside until I figure out how to work that angle.”

“Caleb,” you said warningly and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Come on, it will happen one day,” he said. “And hopefully by then, I’ll have found an idea how to use it in our benefit.”

“Can we focus on this?” you asked, motioning at the phone and Caleb shrugged.

“What’s there to focus? I already put out the statement, by now everyone in the Congress and their mothers read it.”

“You did all that in…?”

“An hour.”

“Jesus, you are good.” You took a look at your phone to check whether your father had called you or texted you, but he hadn’t.

“This is weird,” you muttered and ran a hand over your face. “Are you sure that will work?”

“Like I said. As long as there’s no picture of a kiss or anything to suggest that you two are fucking, we can spin it and even work it for our benefit.”

You took a shaky breath, then slipped a little in the bed, panic still pounding in your chest.

“I need to see Bucky—”

“You’re not going to see Bucky on a Sunday, the day after the rumor mill started,” Kelsey said. “No way. And if he’s smart, he will be on his way to New York right now to bring Hazel here on Monday so maybe it’s not the best idea to call him either. Or text him. Or do anything that might make Hazel think these rumors are true in case she’s with him.”

Jealousy twisted your gut and you bit inside your cheek, then nodded.

“Yeah,” you said. “That makes sense I guess.”

“Great.” Caleb slapped his knees and got up. “Now, get dressed.”

“Why?”

“We found a great brunch spot,” Kelsey said while Caleb reached out to grab Blinky from your nightstand. “We’re going there.”

“I don’t think it’s the best idea for me to—”

“You’re not going into hiding because there’s nothing to hide,” Caleb said and put Blinky in your lap. “Well, I doubt we’re telling his girlfriend he changed cities just to get you your childhood plushie back so we’re hiding that, but you know. Other than that.”

You pursed your lips, playing with Blinky’s tail.

“Come on Birdie,” Kelsey said. “I’m giving you half an hour, then we’re going to brunch. I’m fucking starving!”

She and Caleb left your room and closed the door behind them, and you let out a breath, then looked down at Blinky.

“Well,” you said. “We’re in so much trouble.”

---

Your whole Sunday was spent with convincing multiple people that there was nothing going on between you and Bucky. Perhaps the strangest part was that instead of calling you, your father had your mother call you and ask whether there was any truth to these rumors, and you had to swear on your grandmother’s grave.

Knowing that you were on speaker.

Well, whatever it was, it had worked. You didn’t think your father was very happy about this but at least for now, it looked like his approach was to watch it and analyze before interfering.

You had answered Bucky’s “Are we okay?” text with a curt “Tomorrow” and much to your surprise, he hadn’t insisted and instead let you spend your Sunday without also worrying about that part of the story.

Although, you had a feeling that Sarah had something to do with it.

And now that it was Monday morning and you were walking past the security, anxiety was heavy enough to tremble your hands as you held up your ID pass, then entered the hallway.

Okay.

It was going to be fine.

“Hey, Hurricane!”

I want to go back home.

You looked over your shoulder and tried to smile at Lucas. “Hi.”

“Hey,” he said with a grin. “I would ask you how your weekend was, but I have a pretty good idea.”

You ran a hand over your face. “Trust me, you have no idea.”

He gave you an apologetic look as you both turned the corner. “How are you holding up?”

Well, this was a good sign.

“Uh…” you trailed off. “Quite shaken, to be honest.”

“Don’t be,” he said. “I’ve been alone with Gray more times than I could count, and no one blinked twice. It’s just because of Barnes and his whole thing, not you.”

You frowned, ready to jump to Bucky’s defense. “His whole thing?”

“Yeah, the whole tall dark handsome guy with tortured but mysterious past?”

“I’ll make sure to let him know you find him handsome.” You grinned. “And his past is not exactly mysterious, HYDRA files are out there.”

“You know what I mean.”

You snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I guess,” you muttered. “Obviously there’s nothing there but I’m not sure people—”

“Don’t worry about it, no one here bought that shit.”

I will buy Caleb a month’s worth of coffee and also name my firstborn after him.

You raised your brows and stopped walking to look at him better. “No one?”

“No one with a brain,” he corrected himself, making you smile. “Come on. You’re pretty, he has a certain charm, people will talk. No matter how good you are at your job.”

You tilted your head, your smile growing bigger.

“Thanks,” you said. “I appreciate it.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Bucky entering the hallway as well, talking to a congressman but he stopped dead in his tracks, then turned to the congressman, pretending to listen to him with a frown even though you knew very well that he was watching you. Your heartbeat got faster and you took a deep breath, trying to focus on Lucas who ran a hand through his hair.

“Don’t mention it,” he said. “And it would be stupid, you know? Like as far as I’ve seen, you’re too smart for that.”

You forced a laugh. “Way too smart.”

“Not to mention, you probably have uh—have a boyfriend right?”

Bucky’s whole body stiffened, but the only clue any observer would have noticed was the way his jaw clenched.

Which, you were pretty sure that no one noticed but you.

“I actually just got out of a very long relationship,” you said, stealing a look at Bucky before smiling at Lucas. “Hey, you know what? I just remembered it was my turn to get coffee today and Kelsey needs her coffee so I need to get to the cafeteria. See you around?”

“Uh, sure!” he said as you started walking. “Hey, we still need to do the—”

“The report, working on it!” you called out and turned the corner, then let out a breath and leaned back to the wall.

Alright.

This was ridiculous.

It was a stupid rumor, and no matter how much you wanted Bucky, he still had a girlfriend.

A girlfriend who was coming by sometime this week.

You shut your eyes, willing yourself to calm down before you wiped the sweat off your forehead, then started making your way to the cafeteria. You went down the stairs and turned a corner but as soon as you did, someone grabbed your arm and pulled you into the nearest room, covering your mouth to cut off your scream.

It was only when the door closed shut that you realized who it was.

“What the fuck?” you whispered, panic still pounding in your head. “Bucky, I swear to God if someone saw—”

“That corner is a blind spot.”

You blinked a couple of times. “What?”

“The cameras don’t see that corner and here, so no one will know.”

You took a look at the supply closet you were in, trying to pull your thoughts together before you looked up at his stupidly handsome face.

“And why—why are we in a supply closet?”

“Did I or did I not say he wanted you?” he asked, pointing at the door that led outside and you raised your brows.

“Huh?”

“That guy. Lucas.”

“I feel like we have more important things to talk about rather than someone asking me out.”

“So you do accept he was asking you out?”

“We’re just going to ignore the elephant in the supply closet then? Alright, great.”

“Birdie, he was trying to find out if you had a boyfriend because he—”

“How was your weekend?” you cut him off. “Mine was a fucking disaster, thank you for asking.”

A look of guilt flashed across his face, his eyes darting over your face.

“…Sorry.”

You scoffed a breath from your nose, crossing your arms over your chest.

“How was it, really?” Bucky asked and you rolled your eyes.

“Bad,” you said. “Even my mom called, and I’m pretty sure my father was listening to every word I said. And you?”

“I was going to come and see you—”

“Terrible idea.”

“And then I texted you and you said tomorrow.”

You offered him a small smile. “Ah, thank you for listening to me.”

“Well to be honest, I was going to come anyway.”

“Of course.”

“I was losing my mind,” he insisted. “But uh, Sarah said I should give you your space, and she’s usually right about everything, so…”

Called it.

“And Hazel?”

He paused for a moment.

“She’s coming today, actually,” he said. “And she’ll stay until that gala nonsense.”

You tried to ignore the bitter taste at the back of your throat and nodded your head.

“That’s good. And like, in terms of optics—”

“Birdie, are we okay?” he cut you off as if he couldn’t keep it in anymore and you licked your lips.

“Depends,” you said. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t care about rumors, you know that.”

“You can’t say it didn’t bother you.”

“I honestly don’t give a—I don’t care.” He stopped himself from cursing and you bit back a smile.

“Nobody would blame you if you did,” you said. “If Caleb didn’t spin it, it could’ve affected your votes, the campaign next term, not to mention your work in here.”

“I don’t care,” he insisted. “I just…”

You watched his throat bob as he swallowed thickly like he was nervous all of a sudden, like he couldn’t get the words out. This wasn’t the first time you were seeing this, whenever Bucky needed to talk about his feelings he either faltered or shut down, but every single time he got that kicked puppy look on his face; brows pinched together, lips turned downwards in the most kissable way, his eyes cast down and his gaze turning distant.

It took everything in you not to pull him to yourself and kiss him just to make sure he would never look that sad or lost again.

“I need you to be okay,” he ended up saying quietly, still looking at the floor instead of your face. “For—” He gestured between you. “For us to be okay.”

Oh you had to get out of here before you started taking your clothes off.

Or got on your knees.

Or got on your knees while taking your clothes off.

“We’re okay,” you managed to breathe out, forcing yourself to focus. “We’re totally okay if you’re okay.”

He gave you a curt nod, biting inside his cheek. “I’m okay.”

“Good,” you said and repressed a smile. “And he wasn’t asking me out.”

That managed to pull him out of that shell he was retrieving into, making his head snap up.

“He was!” he said while you let out a laugh and opened the door to step outside with him following you. “No, Birdie I’m telling you—”

“He was just curious I’m sure,” you said, still grinning and he let out a groan, awakening those butterflies in your stomach again.

“He was fishing for information.”

You made a face. “Was he though?”

“Yes because he—where are we going?”

“We’re going to get coffee,” you said as you made your way to the cafeteria. “I feel like I’m going to need a lot of it today.”

---

The rest of the day was relatively better. Apparently, Caleb’s approach to that whole scandal had worked on most people but he had warned you that you had to be careful in the following day not to do anything to fuel any more of that fire.

Which was fine.

It wasn’t like Bucky was asking you out to go to pubs anyway.

“Kels?” you asked without looking up from your computer. “Can you send me the report we had on the uh— on the I think the first week of last month, with the mental health resources for veterans?”

Kelsey tilted her head. “Weren’t you working on the clean energy bill with Mr. Rebound?”

You lifted your head to stare at her. “Mr. what now?”

“Mr. Rebound,” Kelsey said. “Because, you know, you need to get out there but he’s obviously not gonna be the one who get into a relationship with. He’s just a guy you sleep with a couple of times and then find someone else.”

You stole a look at Bucky’s closed door, then turned to her and grabbed the small fox figure on your desk.

“Okay, many things wrong with that theory,” you said, turning it in your hands. “First of all, I literally just got out of a relationship.”

“Yeah I know. Five Minutes Comma Max.”

“Well it—okay, that one is good,” you said with a huff of laughter. “Anyways, even if I were looking for a rebound, it wouldn’t be someone from work. I literally work with the guy.”

A smirk curled Kelsey’s lips and she jerked her head in the direction of Bucky’s office, and you pointed at her with the figure.

“Kelsey.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“That’s different.”

“It’s true love,” she said, clutching at her chest dramatically and you rolled your eyes.

“It’s just different.”

Kelsey looked around the office, then pushed her chair back to come sit on your desk.

“Well you can keep yourself busy while…” she trailed off and stole a look at Bucky’s closed door before turning to you. “You know.”

You shook your head while she crossed her legs, leaning forward so that you could hear her murmur.

“Did I tell you she’s coming here for lunch?”

“Hazel?” you whispered and she nodded.

“Mm hm.”

Damn it.

Bucky had told you Hazel was coming today, but you had just assumed she was coming to the city and not the goddamn building you were in. You checked the time to see it was near lunch, and huffed out a breath.

“I cannot be here when she drops by,” you said. “She already wanted me fired before, and I don’t want to push my luck.”

“Bucky would never fire you.”

“I’m still not risking it,” you said. “I’ll just go to the bathroom and be right back, and then we can go to lunch? There’s no way we’ll be having lunch at the same place anyway.”

“You do realize you’ll have to see her at the gala?”

“That’s a problem for the future me, be right back,” you said and walked out of the office to go into the bathroom at the end of the hall.

While you were washing your hands, you were also trying to come up with excuses to skip the gala but none seemed convincing enough. It was going to be an important event so Bucky was going to want you there even if Hazel didn’t.

Maybe it would be crowded enough that you could avoid both of them for the whole night.

You finished washing your hands and went to the hand dryer but as soon as you took a step, the bathroom door opened, making you turn your head out of habit.

Fuck.

Oh fuck, oh fuck…

Hazel seemed as surprised to see you as you were to see her, and you offered her a small smile just because you didn’t know what the fuck you were supposed to do, then turned your attention to the hand dryer.

Okay.

You just had to walk out.

You had already smiled and acknowledged her presence, which was probably more interaction than she wanted from you, so you just had to walk out of the bathroom, go to the cafeteria and text Kelsey. You pulled your hands back from the dryer while Hazel refreshed her lipstick, her eyes on the mirror even though you knew she was paying attention to your every single movement.

Anne Boleyn worked for Catherine of Aragon for years, you can handle just walking out of the bathroom while Hazel is here.

Keep walking.

Just walking to the door, not saying anything—

But of course you had to turn around the moment you gripped the door handle: “Miss Brooks?”

Fuck.

She raised her brows as if she was taken aback by your audacity –which to be honest, you were as well— but she didn’t say anything, just looked at you in complete silence, waiting for you to say whatever you wanted to say. You could already feel the stomachache you were going to get from anxiety, but you took a deep breath and cleared your throat.

“Um, I just wanted to say—” you stammered. “I’m guessing you saw that gossip piece, and I know of course you didn’t believe it because it’s completely false, but I wanted to apologize anyway, if it…um, if I somehow crossed the line.”

The silence was not making things easy so of course your brain took it as a demand to fill it immediately.

“Because like, I can assure you everything between Mr. Barnes and I, it’s completely professional. I would never—I mean obviously also he would never—we— not that I’m referring to him and I as a unit or anything, what that piece suggested is just lies and—”

“I know it’s just lies.”

Her voice was completely calm, similar to the approach Bucky had adapted while you were freaking out at his doorstep, but unlike his, Hazel’s tone also held a condescending tinge in it. You gulped to ease the tightening in your throat, then nodded your head with a forced smile.

“Oh.”

“Obviously nothing is going on between you two.”

You shook your head fervently. “Oh, of course—”

“But it’s not from a lack of trying on your part.”

That managed to shut you up, your eyes snapping up to hers. She hadn’t even said it in a hostile way, it was phrased in such a matter-of-fact way that for a couple of seconds you just gawked at her, then managed to pull yourself together.

“Miss Brooks, I can assure you I would never do that.”

Hazel smiled at you as if she was entertained by your pitiful attempt to lie to her and you cleared your throat.

“Our relationship is completely professional—”

“If you’re gonna recite me some PR bullshit, you should just email that to my assistant,” she pointed out. “Listen, I’m not here to start a catfight, and I’m certainly not going to fight over a man, both of those are beneath me. Or any other woman. I’m not even trying to insult you, I’m just telling you that I know.”

You pursed your lips just so that you could stop the words threatening to spill from them.

“I get it,” she said and gestured at you. “You’re the pretty, starry-eyed girl and he’s…well, him. So to be honest, it would be surprising if this whole schoolgirl crush didn’t take place. Obviously it will.”

You gritted your teeth, barely noticing that you were wringing your hands to keep your calm.

“You are important to Bucky,” she said. “You’re good at what you do, and despite this whole thing, apparently you’re somehow smart…”

Fuck. You.

“But the fact that your relationship is professional is not because you’re keeping it professional,” she said. “It’s because he’s determined to ignore those cute lovesick smiles you keep throwing his way.”

Nope.

You were not going to take this bait, and you were certainly not going to react to this in any way.

“So you don’t need to worry about me,” she said with a small smile. “I don’t see you as any threat to my relationship.”

You tried to swallow the bitterness of anger at the back of your throat, and as much as you wanted to tell her to go fuck herself, what left your lips was very different.

“Have a nice day, Miss Brooks.”

With that, you pulled the door open and walked out of the bathroom, still shaking with fury.

---

“I applaud your self-control because I would’ve gone full on high school bathroom fight on her, I don’t care how much money her family has.”

You rolled your eyes as you laid on the floor and Caleb filled Kelsey’s glass with wine.

“I mean,” he said, “it sounds like she kind of called you a whore.”

“A dumb whore,” Kelsey added and you pointed at her.

“Exactly!” you said. “Whore I could understand, but dumb? That’s just rude as hell.”

“Maybe you should’ve told her to ask her man why he’s throwing a fit every time Lucas so much as breathes within the perimeter,” Kelsey said with a smirk and you scoffed.

“He’s not throwing a fit.”

“Sorry, what do we call breaking a goddamn chair when Lucas asked you out?”

“And to repeat, I was in that chair.” Caleb wagged his finger in the air. “It could’ve been my fucking neck. I basically survived the Winter Soldier.”

“Oh and pulling you into a supply closet?” Kelsey asked, motioning at you and you heaved a sigh, then pulled yourself up into a sitting position, making a face when your back cracked.

“We really do need a couch.”

“What’s wrong with our pillows?” Caleb gestured at the pillows and you shook your head.

“We look like interns at a startup tech company that has an open buffet of cereals.”

“Great, now I’m craving cereal,” Caleb muttered and looked between you and Kelsey. “Do you guys think anyone tried cereal with wine?”

“Nope.”

“Let’s try it,” he said and walked to the kitchen while you let out a whine, pressing your hands on your eyes.

“Kels…”

“Listen, she does see you as a threat,” Kelsey said. “That’s why she gave you that condescending talk, but it doesn’t matter. That relationship won’t last, you know that, I know that, Sarah knows that, and most importantly, Hazel knows that.”

“I don’t know that actually.”

Kelsey rolled her eyes. “Seriously? Max was your first serious boyfriend and all, but even you can’t be that out of the loop when it comes to relationships.”

“And yet.” You took a sip of your wine. “Guess who he’s probably fucking right now?”

“Aw, guess who he’s probably imagining while he’s fucking her right now?”

“Bucky isn’t like that,” you said. “And I doubt anyone would imagine anyone else when they have Hazel in their bed. Have you seen that woman? She’s gorgeous.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Kelsey sang and you rubbed your eyes.

“Kels, I can’t…” you trailed off. “Listen, what if she has a point? I—I have feelings for him but what if he sees me as some dumb girl with a crush that he entertains just because of my job?”

“You can’t let her get to you, and that’s not how he sees you.”

“But we don’t know that, do we? If he had any feelings for me, he would break up with Hazel.”

“Just like how you broke up with Max?” she asked, making you frown. “Because we both know your feelings for him started way before your break up and to repeat, Bucky is from a different century. He’s not gonna make a move on you while he’s in a relationship, but he’s trying to find a way to get out of that relationship without that breakup hurting Hazel’s…reputation.”

You scoffed. “Her reputation?”

“People couldn’t just drop relationships back in the 40s, Birdie.”

“Well, it’s not the—”

“Did you guys decide what you’re going to wear to that gala?” Caleb asked, coming back with a bowl of dry cereal and three spoons in his hand. “I mean we’ll be working and all, but we can’t just go with our usual clothes. And I don’t have a suit.”

“I’ll help you out, Cinderella.”

Caleb sat down. “You’re an angel, Kels.”

“I have a bunch of clothes from the time Max would drag me to events,” you said. “Kels, you can borrow one of mine if you’d like.”

“Oh I’d like that very much.”

“I mean they’re not exactly gowns but they should—” you started but was cut off when your phone started vibrating, making all three of you look at the caller ID, your heart doing a happy flip in your chest before you frowned at yourself.

“Well, what do you know?” Kelsey said and took a sip of her wine. “I guess he wasn’t fucking her after all.”

“Why does Bucky hate texting?” Caleb mused and Kelsey shrugged her shoulders.

“Probably because it reminds him of telegraphs from the front or something—”

“I’ll be back,” you said as you snatched the phone and stood up while Caleb reached for the wine bottle.

“Are we doing this or not?”

“Caleb, that sounds disgusting…” Kelsey whined and you walked to your room, then closed the door behind you and answered the call, your heart beating in your ears.

 “Hey.”

“Hi.” Bucky’s voice reached your ear, filling your stomach with butterflies. “Everything alright?”

You needed to pull your shit together.

Contrary to what Kelsey and Caleb told you, Hazel did have a point. You were acting like a starry-eyed idiot with a schoolgirl crush, and you couldn’t let Bucky think that about you, not when you had been trying so hard to prove yourself.

You swallowed nervously. “Yeah. Why?”

“You uh—” He paused. “You usually see me before you leave work?”

 You pursed your lips, sitting down on your bed to grab Blinky. Of course it hadn’t escaped his notice, with or without Hazel you always made sure to see him before you left work, ever since you had started working together.

However, you had a feeling that did not help the starry-eyed thing.

“Birdie?”

Your head snapped up and you closed your eyes, then took a deep breath and opened them again.

“I was busy with the clean energy thing,” you said. “Sorry about that.”

“No I didn’t ask for you to apologize,” he said quickly. “I just wanted to make sure.”

You ran a hand over your face, then looked down at Blinky, biting inside your cheek.

“Um,” you said. “Did you need me for something?”

You could almost see the frown on his face as he paused on the other line for a second.

“Alright, what’s going on?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

You wiped your eyes, then heaved a sigh. “Nothing is wrong.”

“Did someone say something?”

Oh yeah, funny you should ask. Your girlfriend.

You opened your mouth to say no, but turned your head when Caleb’s voice carried into the room.

“Birdie you need to come here, I think I discovered a new type of food!”

You scrunched up your face, playing with Blinky’s tail.

“I should go,” you rasped out and he let out a shaky breath.

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I told you. Nothing is wrong.”

“No, something is wrong and I’m gonna—” He paused and you could almost see him pacing restlessly, running his hands through his hair like he always did whenever he was stressed. “I need to fix whatever is making you sad.”

“That’s not your responsibility.”

“Yes it is.”

“Why?” Your voice came out harsher than you intended and he fell quiet for a moment. You pursed your lips, then scoffed.

“See? Exactly.”

“Birdie, you…” he trailed off and let out a breath. “You know why.”

You didn’t trust your voice so you just stayed silent, turning Blinky’s tail around your finger.

“Come on,” he insisted in a soft whisper. “You have to know why.”

You dragged your tongue over your teeth, trying to keep yourself calm but the words had already left your lips before you could control yourself.

“How’s Hazel?”

Silence fell upon him and you clicked your tongue, nodding to yourself.

“Good night Bucky,” you said and hung up, then let yourself fall back to the bed, your eyes still burning with tears. You sniffled, holding Blinky to your chest and kicked at the covers at the foot of the bed just so that you could get some of the frustration out of your system.

If Bucky wanted to be with her, fine.

But you weren’t going to let anyone see you as an idiot.

“Birdie!”

“Coming!” you called out and wiped your eyes, then got up from the bed and put Blinky on the pillow, then made your way to the living room to find Caleb holding up the cereal bowl which seemed to be filled with wine, grinning at you.

“I’m a genius.”

“And I’m in the mood to get drunk,” you said as you sat down next to Kelsey. “Wine cereal it is.”

Chapter 11: Warning Shot

Summary:

Some dances look more than just friendly.

If it were any other time, this gala would be exciting.

It was the perfect opportunity to meet more politicians, get some inside information, and overall a good place to make an impression. However, your love life was a mess, you dreamt about Bucky every night while keeping your distance from him all day, so you had no idea how to even begin forming a game plan for the gala, or care about it.

Also, Bucky looked like he had one thousand questions about why you started avoiding him all of a sudden out of nowhere yet again but you had to admit, he was being very understanding and did not push you.

Then again, maybe his girlfriend played a part in it.

“Can I just skip this one?”

You and Kelsey exchanged glances and she rolled her eyes while you heaved a sigh, then checked your lipstick on the mirror.

“Caleb, get in here.”

“No seriously, DC has a bunch of charity galas I can join some other time—”

“Get in here!” You both called out at the same time and he huffed, then stepped into the living room, still fiddling with his bowtie. One simple observer would have thought he was being forced to go to war instead of a gala from the miserable look on his face, and you stifled your laugh while Kelsey walked to him to bat his hand away so that she could fix his bowtie.

“I look like a waiter.”

“You look like a handsome guy in a suit.”

“Handsome waiter in a suit.”

“Caleb,” Kelsey said patiently. “I will be Bucky’s shadow in that ballroom and running around the place on stilettos. I think you and your bowtie will be fine.”

“I can give you my shoes at the end of the night if you want,” Caleb said and Kelsey smiled at him.

“Not gonna turn down that offer, thank you.”

“Birdie?” Caleb turned to you and you winked at him.

“You look like a handsome PR manager in a suit.”

Caleb let out a breath and ran his hands through his hair.

“Anyone else feel like this is prom night?”

“I lost my virginity on prom night,” Kelsey mused, checking her phone and you raised your brows.

“Really?”

“Yeah, at the back of the limo my date rented.”

You grinned. “Classy. I’ve never had sex in a car.”

“You’re telling me Five Minutes Comma Max wasn’t adventurous?” Caleb teased you. “Shocker.”

“I should make a list or something.”

“A sex list?”

“Yeah for like places and stuff.”

“Uber is here,” Kelsey said and you grabbed your purse off the coffee table while Caleb rolled his shoulders back. “Ready?”

“Yep,” you said. “Let’s go to prom.”

---

This was not prom.

This was prom West Wing edition.

There were so many important people everywhere that you didn’t even know where to start. You could see your father talking to a senator at the corner of the ballroom, and the sight was enough to make your stomach do a nervous flip, but you cracked your knuckles, searching the room for—

Oh there he was.   

It wasn’t like you expected him not to look good in a suit but this was another level. For a couple of seconds, you let yourself stare at him; your heartbeat getting faster while he gave a curt smile to something Hazel said, then made a face and shook his head, making her laugh.

Jesus, they really did make a hot couple.

Jealous burned at the pit of your stomach but you frowned to yourself, trying to focus. Kelsey made her way to him while Caleb walked to one of the journalists he knew, and you took a deep breath, then approached him.

Professional.

You were going to be just professional and get through tonight, and then go home where you could whine all you wanted.

“Good evening Mr. Barnes. Miss Brooks.” You offered a smile to her which she acknowledged with a nod, but you made sure not to look at Bucky, instead lowering your glances to your phone in your hand. “Mr. Barnes, I think it could be a good idea to talk Congressman Murray tonight about the veteran bill proposal once you get the chance. He has military background, he supports getting more financial support to veteran families especially after the Blip, and he has already contacted us for next week, so it could be the first step to breaking the ice. I sent you the main points of the latest bill he proposed a couple of months ago, so if you’d like to take a look, it could help.”

Silence.

You pulled your brows together and looked up from your phone to find him staring at you in awe, making your heart skip a beat. You could feel your cheeks burning but you shot him a quizzical look, which made him clear his throat, trying to pull himself together.

“Sorry, I zoned out,” he managed to say. “Can you repeat that?”

Oh this was not going to help this situation with Hazel.

She narrowed her eyes at him, looking between you while Kelsey bit back a smile, and you took a deep breath.

“Congressman Murray could help with the veteran bill, I sent you the details.”

“Ah,” he said. “Right, yeah. Which one is he?”

“That one.” Kelsey pointed at the man subtly and Bucky nodded like he was trying to focus.

“Okay.”

“I’d better go and see who else is here,” you said and walked away from them in a rush just so that you wouldn’t be alone with Hazel. You looked around and made your way to one of the waiters to grab a champagne flute from the tray he carried, then thanked him and took a huge sip of the champagne, closing your eyes for a moment.

Tonight was going to be a long night.

“Wow.”

You looked over your shoulder, then smiled at Lucas and turned to see him better.

“Hi.”

He let out a breath, eyeing you up and down. “You look amazing, Hurricane.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” you said, your smiling growing bigger. “Hey, how come you know my nickname and I don’t know yours?”

“Because I came to the Capitol before you.”

“Oh that’s how it works?”

“Mm hm,” he said solemnly. “Not to look like I’m pulling rank but…”

“But you are pulling rank?”

“But I am pulling rank,” he repeated with a nod of his head. “Sorry about that, but technically you’re a freshman and I’m a senior.”

“You’re a sophomore at best,” you deadpanned. “And in case you forgot, this freshman is helping you with that mess you call a draft.”

He let out a laugh. “Oh that’s how we’re gonna play this?”

You shrugged your shoulders, inspecting your nails nonchalantly. “Just saying.”

“I mean I wouldn’t call it helping,” he teased you back. “More like I’m showing you the ropes.”

You let out a hum, swirling your champagne in the glass.

“I’ve seen first graders with better text cohesion.”

 “Ouch.” He grinned. “That hurt.”

“It shouldn’t,” you said calmly. “You know Lucas, there’s nothing wrong with being bad at things. We all have to start somewhere.”

“Is that right?”

“Mm hm,” you said. “For example, I was just like you when I was in college.”

“Oh, in college?”

“Lost…” You waved a hand in the air. “Clueless. Amateur. Poor in vocabulary.”

He made a face. “No you weren’t, you were the top of your class.”

You tilted your head. “And how would you know that?”

“I have my ways.” He motioned at you to keep going. “But back to dragging me.”

“Oh yeah,” you said. “And then I worked very hard and then…here we are. It might take you longer but you’ll get there.”

“We should’ve called you Viper instead of Hurricane.”

“That does sound more badass than Hurricane—” you started but Lucas’s eyes found someone over your shoulder, his smile wiping off his face immediately, and you frowned before you heard your father’s voice.

“Do you mind, Lucas?”

Lucas looked from your father to you, then shifted his weight and heaved a sigh.

“See you later, Hurricane.”

Your father gave you a small smile as Lucas walked away and you turned to glare at him.

“Dad,” you said through your teeth. “That wasn’t nice.”

“Let’s be serious here, you can do better than a glorified assistant.” He scoffed. “Would you like to dance?”

“I’m working.”

“Oh come on,” he said with a chuckle. “You used to throw fits whenever your mother and I took you to events if we didn’t have our father-daughter dance.”

“Well in my defense, I was like eight,” you replied, keeping your eyes on the people who were dancing in the ballroom. “And half of the government wasn’t in the room. And I wasn’t working.”

“And how is it going at work?” he asked. “I saw Barnes talking to Murray just now. Let me guess, they’ll work together on the veteran bill?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Yeah. And after Bucky is done talking to him, I’ll talk to Congressman Riley about our project for the education of children in low income families.”

“What’s next?” he asked. “We start handing out stacks of money on the street?”

“You have more than enough. Why not?”

“That’s not how it works.”

“At the risk of sounding like a hopeless idealist, I happen to think some of the government money should be used for people in need instead of your buddies buying yachts,” you snarked. “I know it’s a little difficult to understand it for you, the idea of helping people.”

“We do help people, you know.”

“Oh yeah, the world is a much better place with your help.” You snorted and raised your glass in a mock of toast. “They don’t thank you enough.”

“Pumpkin, you know how it goes,” he said. “Some win and some lose. Don’t blame me, I didn’t come up with the rules for this game.”

“No but you keep rigging it,” you growled through your teeth, looking him in the eye. “And for most people, dad, it’s not a game. A lot of people are in need of help. Real help.”

“And you want to be Robin Hood.”

“I want to make a difference in the world,” you insisted. “I’m going to—I’m going to help people—”

“Before or after going on a date with your boss?”

That made you shut up immediately and you pulled back a little, searching your mind for the right words.

“I already talked to mom about this,” you managed to say. “That’s just lies.”

He hummed and took a sip of his drink.

“I don’t appreciate getting my name dragged into tabloid gossip,” he said, his voice void of any emotion. “Any more than I appreciate seeing my daughter put herself in that situation.”

This—

Alright.

You could feel the familiar knots in your stomach, your throat tightening. This was exactly how it would go when you were little, your father’s voice turning into this, and the moment you opened your mouth to explain yourself, yelling would start. Panic was already giving you nausea but you managed to keep your expression flat before you downed your drink and put it on a tray a waiter was carrying just so that you could cross your arms to hide the trembling of your hands.

“I don’t control what the PR comes up with,” you pointed out. “And I didn’t put myself in any situation—”

“I’m not interested in excuses,” he cut you off, his voice low but stern. “I’m interested in solutions. Make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

With that, he walked away from you, leaving you there dumbfounded as you felt your breath hitching in your throat.

No.

This was not happening, not right now and especially not here.

You darted through the ballroom as subtly as you could without getting any attention on you, then stepped out into the hallway to rush to the bathroom. You slammed the door open, then ran to the nearest stool to throw up, pushing the button to flush it before you put the lid down, and sat on top of it.

Your hands were still shaking and you closed your eyes shut, trying to keep your breathing under control.

This was just nonsense. You weren’t a child anymore, your father couldn’t yell at you without you yelling back, and there was no way he would’ve tried to yell at you surrounded by all those people in the ballroom but—

But the fear of disappointing him was still enough to make you throw up.

It took you almost half an hour to pull yourself together. You massaged your temples, willing the headache to disappear before you stepped out of the stool, then walked to the sink to wash your hands, then kept them under the cold water.

The girl next to you gave you a sympathetic smile. “I hate these things too.”

“You have no idea,” you muttered. “Any chance you have mints?”

“Oh yeah, here.” She reached into her purse to pull out a pack of mints and you took one to pop it in your mouth.

“Thanks.”

“I’m Mel,” she said. “I work for Valentina Allegra de Fontaine.”

“CIA.” You whistled. “Badass. I work for Congressman Barnes.”

Her jaw dropped. “Oh, I knew I’ve seen you somewhere, in that—”

She stopped herself mid-sentence and you heaved a sigh.

“That gossip piece, yeah.”

“I didn’t mean to be rude, sorry.”

“You weren’t rude,” you said. “No worries.”

Her phone buzzed in her hand and she checked it, then turned to you.

“Gotta go but it’s nice to meet you.”

“You too,” you said and turned to check your makeup in the mirror, then grabbed a tissue to dab at your eyes.

“Get your shit together,” you muttered to yourself and threw the tissue into the garbage can, then walked out of the bathroom. You slowly made your way toward the ballroom but when you felt your throat tightening, you huffed out and turned the nearest corner to another empty hallway, then sat on the stairs.

Fine, you apparently needed more time.

You didn’t even have the energy to check your phone that kept buzzing because that meant you needed to go into the ballroom, so you kept it in your lap while you wrung your hands, then cracked your knuckles one by one. Counting in your head, you took a deep breath, and leaned your forehead on your knees to focus before you exhaled.

“Here you are.”

It was almost funny how with just his voice he managed to pull you out of the spiral of your thoughts. You could feel your lips pulling into a small smile and you took another breath, then lifted your head to look up at him.

He was way too handsome.

“You okay?” he asked, his blue eyes searching your face and you scoffed, waving a hand in the air.

“Drinking champagne on an empty stomach isn’t the best idea.”

“You think so?”

“Oh yeah,” you said. “Just gonna take five and then go back. How about you, why are you here?”

“I don’t really like the whole…” He motioned in the direction of the ballroom and you raised your brows.

“Socializing in order to manipulate people?”

“That and just—people,” he admitted, then nodded at the stair you were sitting on. “Got room for one more person in there?”

You scooted over and he sat down next to you, making you let out a giggle.

“You do know that we’re supposed to be in there working people?”

“It’s not like they’re going anywhere.”

“Still,” you said. “I doubt many politicians or employees are hiding from the crowd sitting on a staircase.”

“Well, you’re the only person I actually want to sit with tonight,” he said with a shrug, as if that didn’t make your stomach flutter. “What’s your excuse?”

Focus.

“How did it go with Murray?”

“He wanted me to share stories.”

“From the front?”

He nodded and you scrunched up your nose. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, I’m used to it.”

You fell silent for a couple of seconds, then turned sideways to see him better, resting your chin on your fist.

“I wonder about that too sometimes, you know?”

He frowned. “The front?”

You shook your head. “Who you were back then. I mean I saw the footage with the Howling Commandos and Steve Rogers, and you were…” You paused for a second and sat up straighter, grinning at him. “Tell me who you were.”

“You know who I was,” he said as if the answer was obvious and you shook your head again.

“I’m not asking about Sergeant Barnes, or the Winter Soldier,” you told him. “I’m asking about James Bucky Barnes before the war.”

He raised his brows like he hadn’t thought about that in a long time. You had seen that look on his face before, a mixture of curiosity and longing as he fell into silence, trying to dig up a memory that wasn’t full of trauma or bloodshed, a memory that was warm and pleasant and carefree.

“Well, things were difficult even before the war,” he started. “But I think I was happy. Me and Steve, we basically grew up together. My mother would always put a plate on the table for him on Sunday breakfast.”

A soft smile warmed your face. “That’s sweet of her.”

“We would get in trouble sometimes, which she hated,” he said. “Me and Steve, we once went to Rockaway Beach, and had to come back to Brooklyn on the back of a freezer truck.”

“Wait, why?”

He let out a chuckle. “Well, Steve spent our money on hot dogs, and I was trying to impress this girl, Dot.”

Your grin widened. “Ah?”

“So I spent 3 dollars trying to win a stuffed bear for her, which meant we had no money to go back, so we hitchhiked.”

You pulled out your phone.

“I need to check something, give me a second,” you said and quickly typed it into google, then gasped.

“3 dollars back then is— Bucky, you spent 70 dollars on a stuffed bear to impress a girl?” you exclaimed. “During Great Depression?”

“Mm hm.”

“Please tell me you did win the goddamn stuffed bear.”

“I did actually,” he said with a smirk. “And she was impressed, so money well spent.”

“So in your order of priorities,” you said, motioning with your hands, “impressing the girl was higher than going back to Brooklyn safe and sound? And comfortable?”

“Yeah, she was pretty.”

“And that’s enough reason?” You gawked at him. “She was pretty?”

He nodded his head. “Yeah. And she wanted the stuffed bear.”

You bit your lip to contain your smile and heaved a sigh, then leaned back to narrow your eyes at him playfully.

“I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“That it wasn’t just a rumor. You really were a charming ladies’ man back then.”

He let out a noise of disagreement. “That’s not exactly…”

“Bucky, you looked like this.” You gestured at his face. “And I saw you in that footage, with Steve Rogers and The Howling Commandos. Come on, you were popular with women, it’s very obvious.”

That boyish smile pulled at his lips again. “Someone had to make sure Steve got a date, and double dates were all the rage back then.”

“Oh I’m sure you did all that for him.” You played along with a pout. “Of course. Did you use to dance as well?”

“I did, actually. Steve hated it, I didn’t mind.”

You hummed, fixing the silky skirts of your dress as you crossed your legs and he eyed you up and down, then leaned in so that you could hear his teasing tone.

“Do you wanna dance?”

That made your head whip around and you gawked at him before you snorted a laugh.

“Yeah, let’s go dance in the ballroom full of people we work with, and the media,” you said. “After that PR disaster? Terrible idea.”

“I didn’t say it had to be in the ballroom,” he said and stood up to offer you his hand, awakening butterflies in your stomach.

“Bucky…”

“It’s a waste of music if a pretty dame like you isn’t dancing to it darlin’,” he said with that old Brooklyn accent, a laugh spilling from your mouth before you scrunched up your face in embarrassment, then took his hand, a fire spreading from your fingers to your whole body.

“God, no wonder why Dot was impressed,” you said as he pulled you closer and wrapped his vibranium arm around your waist, smiling down at you.

“Is that right?”

It felt like your heart was trying to climb out of your chest and a giggle bloomed in your throat as he twirled you, then pulled you closer again.

“So this is James Bucky Barnes,” you mused. “I like him. I’d probably work for him back in the 1940s if he decided to get in politics.”

“He didn’t have any plans for politics, trust me.”

“Yeah well, it wouldn’t stop me. I’d talk him into it.”

That managed to coax a laugh out of him, the rare sound making you smile wide.

“I’d make him hire me,” you said. “Through Dot, by the way. Convince the wife and get the husband situation.”

He chuckled, shaking his head.

“Yeah I don’t think he would be with Dot.”

“Because he’s a ladies’ man?”

“Because he is an idiot,” he said softly as you both swayed with music. “He messed things up with her.”

Your eyes snapped up to his and you gulped, realizing that you weren’t talking about Dot anymore.

“Beyond saving?”

“Feels that way.”

You scrunched up your nose. “That doesn’t sound right.”

“Well, he backed himself into a corner,” he said, sadness etched on his handsome face. “Right person, wrong time.”

You could hardly hear him from the rush of blood in your ears, but you managed to shrug your shoulders, taking a deep breath.

“Maybe,” you said. “Or maybe it’s just another excuse for him to torture himself. I mean, time has to give him a break at some point, so they just need to find the corner their lines cross.”

A slow smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, but before he could say anything, you both heard the sound of heels on the marble floor and you pulled your hand from his, stepping out of his embrace even if your body urged you not to. You fixed your hair just so that you could keep your hands busy and Kelsey appeared at the corner, then pulled her brows together.

“Hi,” she said after a beat. “Bucky, Caleb was looking for you.”

Bucky nodded and turned to look at you. “Are you…?”

“I actually need to borrow her for a moment,” Kelsey said and you motioned at the ballroom.

“You go, I’ll be right there.”

Bucky walked past Kelsey to make his way into the ballroom and Kelsey approached you.

“Anything you’d like to tell me?”

“Long story,” you said. “I’ll tell you when we get home. Is everything okay in there?”

“I just saw Hazel leave,” she said. “Caleb thinks it’s an urgent business thing, she’s been here all week.”

“Does Bucky know?”

“That’s what Caleb wanted to ask him I think,” she said, linking her arm with yours. “Now come on. You can’t leave me alone with those assholes, and I think I’ve been flirting with a journalist so you need to tell me whether he’s hot or just tall.”

---

Apparently, Hazel had left without letting Bucky know, so he had left as well to make sure she was alright, which meant you and Kelsey and Caleb could go home.

“We should’ve stolen a champagne bottle or something,” Caleb said while he laid on the floor on his back and you played with the corner of the pillow you were sitting on.

“I’ll keep that in mind the next time we go to a gala. So the journalist, Kels?”

“He is kinda cute,” Kelsey said. “Like a puppy.”

“But he’s a journalist,” Caleb said. “I mean, can he be trusted?”

“Caleb, this is yet another instance we have to remind you that we work in politics,” you said, motioning between you. “Journalists think the same about us.”

“You work in politics, I work in communications.”

“Communications in politics.”

“That’s a detail though—” he started but was cut off when his phone started buzzing.

“At this hour?” Kelsey asked as Caleb sat up and answered the phone while you leaned in to hear what it was about.

“Hello? Yes, this is he.” Caleb said and listened to the other line, his eyes widening.

“What?” you whispered and he motioned at you to be silent, standing up to pace in the room. He ran his hand through his hair, letting out a breath.

“Uh, Mr. Barnes didn’t bring me up to speed I’m afraid,” he said, his gaze snapping to you before he mouthed ‘What the fuck’ and nodded as if the other person could see him. “Yeah that sounds like a great idea. Do you have my email address? Okay, great, I’ll check it out right now and get back to you, and we can put it out. Thank you, have a nice evening.”

He hung up and whirled on his heels to look at you and Kelsey.

“What the fuck?”

“What’s going on?”

“That was Hazel’s PR team.” He held up his phone. “They want to check in with me to see if their statement is in line with ours.”

“What statement?”

“Their break up statement.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you gawked at him, disbelief crashing down on you while you reached to hold Kelsey’s arm.

“What?”

“I—what happened while you two were in that hallway?” Caleb asked you and you shook your head.

“We just danced,” you insisted while his eyes darted on the lines on his screen. “I swear. We were dancing and joking about his past—”

“Right before Kelsey found you?”

“Yeah!”

Caleb gritted his teeth and turned to Kelsey.

“And you found them right after Hazel left?”

A look of realization dawned on Kelsey’s face. “…Yeah.”

“No that’s not related,” you insisted, jumping on your feet. “I would’ve noticed if she saw us, or Bucky would—”

“A bunch of people were coming and going to the hallway next to it, he easily could’ve chalked it up to anyone else passing there.”

Your heart was pounding in your head as you covered your mouth.

“Good news is, there’s literally nothing about you on this statement,” Caleb murmured, his attention on his phone. “And her team said nothing about it either—shit, did we have her sign an NDA?”

“Knowing Bucky? I doubt it,” Kelsey said while Caleb touched his screen, then put the phone to his ear.

“Bucky,” he said, making your head whip up. “Hey. Yeah she’s fine. Yeah, I’m fine too. Uh…so friendly reminder, you’re supposed to tell me if you broke up with your girlfriend so that I can put out a statement before her team calls me. Because—” Caleb threw his hand in the air in exasperation. “Because that’s how it works. No, forget what I said about the Bachelor. Did you have her sign anything?” Caleb pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course you didn’t. Okay, I need you to tell me what happened in detail.”

You rushed to your room to change into a t-shirt and jeans as fast as you could, then stepped into the living room again.

“Are you going to Bucky’s place?” Kelsey whispered while Caleb kept pacing in the room, trying to convince Bucky that privacy didn’t exist in a situation like this, and you shook your head, making her frown.

“Then what—Birdie, no.” Her voice was stern as she realized what you were about to do. “That’s a terrible idea.”

“What hotel is she staying at, Kels?”

“You’re the last person she wants to see, you do realize that?”

“And I owe her an explanation, you know that,” you said. “There’s no way she is at Bucky’s place, so what hotel?”

Kelsey pulled out her phone with a sigh, then touched the screen for a minute before your phone vibrated.

“There, the location, and the room number,” she said. “Bucky went there the other day.”

“Thank you,” you said, grabbing your coat on your way to the door. “I’ll text you.”

With that, you slammed the door behind you and rushed outside, raising your hand for a taxi.

---

You knew Hazel didn’t want to see you.

You couldn’t even blame her. You had a pretty clear idea how that dance would look to an outsider, much less to her.

But you knew you had to explain yourself, and apologize.

You cracked your knuckles nervously as the elevator door opened, the door at the end of the hallway greeting you. Letting out a breath, you rolled your shoulders back and forced yourself to approach the door, then raised your fist to knock on it and stepped back, clasping your hands to stop the shaking.

Hazel scoffed a laugh when she opened the door.

“Oh this is gonna be fun,” she said, her voice calm despite her red-rimmed eyes. “Finished your dance?”

You closed your eyes for a second before you opened them.

“Miss Brooks, I’m really sorry,” you started, making her raise her brows as if she was amused. “I know how it looks like, but I swear to you nothing happened. I was feeling bad, that’s why I left the ballroom, but there’s nothing going on between us.”

“Yes there is.”

“No, I assure you—”

“Oh, you guys aren’t sleeping together.” Hazel waved a hand in the air. “But there is something between you. You know it, I know it, and Bucky also knows it even if he likes to pretend otherwise. He knew it throughout the time he was trying to make himself fall in love with me.”

You pulled back slightly, straining your mind to find the right thing to say.

“Miss Brooks—”

“I’m not going to say anything to the press,” she said. “So if that’s why you’re here, you can go away.”

You shook your head. “That’s not why I’m here.”

“Then why are you here?”

“To apologize.”

Hazel held your gaze in hers as if she was trying to find any sign of dishonesty, then let out a breath.

“Listen, I’m going to show you this courtesy only because I’m not proud of how I treated you back in that bathroom,” she said. “I was still pretty angry, but blaming you makes no sense. That’s not the type of person I am, or the type of person I want to be.”

You wrung your hands, staring at her.

“I mean I asked him to fire you,” she said after a beat. “Not my proudest moment.”

“I get it,” you rasped out and she took a deep breath.

“And I hope you understand what I’m about to say doesn’t come from a place of hostility,” she said. “But from woman to woman? Don’t do it.”

Your eyes snapped up to hers, your throat tightening.

“You know how it goes,” she said, her voice almost sad. “You’ve seen how quick the public was to forgive him for everything. His PR was good but no PR is that good, they want to love him. The guy is a superhero, he could walk away from politics today and it wouldn’t make any difference. They will still love him.”

You sniffled and wiped your nose, nodding your head.

“So you know what will happen,” she said. “This is one of the rare things that hasn’t changed since the 40s, no matter what anyone says. He will be their hero, and you will be the whore.”

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, tears blurring your vision.

“I need you to understand that,” she told you. “Doesn’t matter if I like you or not, I wouldn’t wish it upon any woman. They will fucking tear you apart, and trust me, not even the big bad Winter Soldier can protect you from that.”  

Don’t cry.

Do not cry.

“And he doesn’t even see it.” She scoffed a laugh. “But you do. You’re smart, something inside you has to be warning you against this. You know the moment he steps out with you, he will be throwing you to the wolves.”

Your hand shot up to wipe at your eyes and you nodded again, heaving a shaky sigh while she gave you an apologetic smile.

“Good luck,” she said. “You’re going to need it.”

She closed the door and you balled your hands into fists, digging your fingernails into your palms to focus on anything other than the tears falling from your eyes. You slowly made your way to the elevator to step in, watching the doors close.

And then you started sobbing.

Chapter 12: Pressure

Summary:

Having a high pressure job has its consequences.

The news of the breakup spread like wildfire.

To be honest, you hadn’t expected anything different. This had to be one of the rare times that Caleb hated being in PR because even you could tell that he was working way too hard.

And of course, your name had been brought up multiple times, but so far there wasn’t anything actually threatening thanks to Bucky and Hazel having attended the gala together right before they broke up. 

“Mom, how did you know dad was the one?”

Your mother looked up from the bowl she was mixing the cake mixture in, then let out a laugh.

“What brought this on?”

“Just curious.” You dangled your legs from the high stool and sipped your coffee before putting the mug on the kitchen island. “Also, I would like to ask again, why are we in the kitchen? You don’t cook.”

“I’m baking.”

“You don’t bake either.”

“Well, one of the girls in my spiritual retreat said it would be a good bonding practice between mothers and daughters.”

You pulled your brows together.

“I guess today is good as any to start,” you murmured. “Fine, okay. We’re bonding, see? Tell me how you knew, other than the fact that he dazzled you with money.”

“Oh I didn’t care about the money.”

You tilted your head. “Uh, are you sure? I mean no offense obviously, but I always assumed money played a part. Safety and all that.”

“I did feel safe with him but that had nothing to do with the money.”

“So you were actually in love with him.”

“I was and I am.”

You made a face. “Oh come on, that I don’t buy. You can be honest, there’s no way you’re still in love with him.”

“Why not?”

You let out a laugh. “Because he’s evil?”

She rolled her eyes and started pouring the mixture into the cupcake tray. “He’s not evil, honey.”

“Well…” You cleared your throat. “I mean he has been bribing and extorting politicians for decades so that things work the way he wants them to work. That’s like, textbook bad. Disney movie bad.”

“Funny, I heard a lot of people say Bucky Barnes is a bad man, but you seem very eager to defend him.”

“That has nothing to do with—okay, let’s never ever put Bucky in the same category with dad ever again,” you said with a laugh. “It’s kind of like lumping The Night King and Jon Snow together.”

“I didn’t watch that show.”

“They’re like complete opposites.” You took another sip of your coffee. “Let me put it this way; Bucky would sacrifice his own life to save someone, dad would sacrifice the whole world to save himself.”

“And you, and me.”

You made a noise of disagreement.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” you said. “You yes. Me, doubtful.”

“He does love you, you know.”

“No he doesn’t.” You shrugged your shoulders. “And I don’t mind, really.”

“He does,” your mother insisted. “It’s just that, you’re both very stubborn and don’t know how to communicate.”

“That and our political stances and our principles and our goals are very different.”

“So what?” she asked as if it was just trivial, and you scoffed a laugh.

“You seriously don’t mind what he does?” you asked. “All those people he hurt? All the corruption?”

“I’m not interested in what he does at work. I’m interested in what kind of a man he is with us, his family.”

You grimaced. “That’s not how it works, mom.”

“It’s how it works with me.”

You rubbed at your eyes, heaving a sigh. “I guess this just proves it.”

“Proves what?”

“I’ve always thought that…” you trailed off. “I’ve always thought you and him were just meant to be together, but I wasn’t supposed to be in the picture.”

“Never say that!” She gasped. “We love you!”

“That’s not it,” you said with a weak smile. “No, you guys make sense together, in some very weird and unhealthy way. But I don’t, you know what I mean?”

“That’s so not true,” she said, putting pieces of chocolate into the batter in the pan. “And as I’ve said, your father loves you and me. What he does at work doesn’t matter.”

“It actually does,” you said. “You might be able to pick and choose, but I wouldn’t be able to do that.”

“Is that why you broke up with Max?”

“That dickhead voted for the opposition.”

She turned to you. “Please tell me you didn’t break up with him over that.”

“See? It doesn’t matter to you,” you said. “But it matters to me. And hey, it’s a good thing I dumped him, apparently he was cheating on me anyway.”

Her jaw dropped and she reached out to squeeze your hand. “Aw I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, I don’t care,” you said. “I mastered the art of detachment thanks to the revolving door of nannies you guys kept changing when I was little, so it’s okay.”

“Well, we just didn’t know who was the best for you.”

You bit at your lip to hold back your retort.

“How’s everything at work?” she asked. “Are those rumors still going on?”

“Well, to some extent but no picture or anything,” you said. “Just whispers.”

“And you like him?”

“Professionally, yes.”

Bullshit.

It was a good thing that your mother hardly ever spent time with you, she didn’t know how to read you.

The truth was that every day your feelings for Bucky were getting deeper. You knew that Hazel was right, you knew the risks but somehow, when you thought about him kissing you…

Your brain just refused to be logical.

Granted that didn’t mean you were going to throw all the caution to the wind, but you were wondering if something was wrong with you if that didn’t intimidate you as much as it was supposed to.

“A lot of my friends think he’s too handsome to be in politics.” Her voice pulled you out of your thoughts. “And they have a lot of questions.”

“About him?”

She hummed and walked to the oven to take a look at it. “Which button do I turn?”

You jumped from the stool to turn the button. “This one.”

“Aw thank you,” she said as she put the tray in, then closed it and turned to you. “So what’s he like?”

You took your seat again. “In politics?”

“In his daily life. Why did he and that girl break up?”

You cleared your throat. “Um, difference in opinions.”

“On what?”

“No idea, that’s what I’ve been told.”

She hummed, sitting down as well. “And you guys are close?”

“Professionally.”

“But you consider him a friend as well?” she asked. “I don’t know many people who are friends with their boss.”

“You don’t know many people with a boss.”

“Fair,” she admitted. “But that’s irrelevant. Tell me more about him, we’re all curious. Is he nice?”

“Oh absolutely.”

“To you? Even with all these rumors?”

You couldn’t help but smile, then nodded your head.

“He um…” you trailed off, biting your lip. “He’s amazing, mom. I know a lot of people think there are still traces of the Winter Soldier in him, but it’s not like that at all. He’s the sweetest, I’d trust him with my life. He even—”

You stopped yourself and your mother leaned in, curiosity shining in her eyes. “What?”

“He got Blinky back for me.”

She blinked a couple of times in confusion. “Who’s Blinky?”

Of course.

You hesitated for a second before you forced yourself to smile and shook your head.

“It’s not important,” you mumbled. “Anyways, enough about me, how was your retreat?”

---

The next day, you didn’t even have the time to go to lunch. You had to work on the draft Bucky had asked you to, and of course you had volunteered to go over the revisions Lucas had sent you just so that you could impress Congresswoman Gray, and your phone kept buzzing with emails every two minutes.

And for some reason, everything was louder today.

You took a deep breath, willing your heartbeat to calm down as you clenched and unclenched your hands, staring at the screen before you deleted the last line, and added a new one.

“Please don’t tell me we’re back to skipping lunch for work.”

Your fingers froze over the keyboard before you looked over your shoulder to see Bucky watching you, leaning against the doorframe.

“I had a protein bar and like two cups of red eye, I’m fine.”

His worried gaze raked over you, making your heartbeat even faster.

“I thought we had a deal.”

“I’ll eat when I’m done with this.” You nodded at the screen and he came to lean against your desk, making you bite back a smile.

“Birdie.”

You heaved a dramatic sigh at his teasing tone and looked up at him. “Hm?”

“Let’s have lunch.”

“You literally came back from lunch.”

“I can eat again.” He started tilting the screen of your laptop down but you batted his hand away, then fixed the screen again. “It’s a metabolism thing.”

“Super soldier metabolism?”

“Mm hm.”

“Good for you, I’m too busy,” you said. “I already spent enough time doing nothing with my mom yesterday when I was supposed to go over this, so…”

“You were with your mom?” he asked. “How did that go?”

“Dad wasn’t home so it was fine. Ish.”

“Fine-ish?”

“My mom doesn’t really know much about me but the parts she knows, she loves to dismiss,” you said. “They make a terrific couple with my dad, terrible parents though.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you said. “Without them, my old therapist wouldn’t have been able to buy her second Ferrari, so I guess it wasn’t a total disaster.”

“And you can tell me all about it while we’re having lunch.”

You turned to your laptop. “Take a powder, Barnes.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the clear confusion on his face but it turned into an amused smile, a chuckle escaping his lips.

“How did you…?”

“Hey, I could have an extensive vocabulary.” You grinned at him. “You don’t know my lexicon.”

“Right. Why do I feel like you googled 40s slang?”

“I once saw you google if lavender is edible, so how about we stop pointing fingers?” you asked and he shook his head vigorously.

“In my defense, Kelsey got me a lavender latte and insisted I had to try it.”

“And what did you think? Your assistant was trying to poison you?”

He shot you a look as if you were asking him a question with a very obvious answer. “It’s Kelsey.”

You thought for a moment, then shrugged your shoulders.

“Fair enough,” you said. “But come on, she—”

You stopped talking when your phone started buzzing, making both you and Bucky turn your glances to the screen, and you both frowned at the same time.

“He’s still calling you?” Bucky asked and held out his hand for you to give him the phone, but you shook your head.

“I’ll handle him,” you said and answered the phone. “Max, go fu—”

“Wait wait, don’t hang up,” he cut you off. “I swear, this will be very civil and you’re gonna want to listen to what I have to say.”

You rolled your eyes, leaning back on your chair while Bucky kept his eyes on you.

“What?” you asked crossly and he took a deep breath.

“I saw that piece about you and Barnes.”

“I’m going to hang up now.”

“A journalist contacted me,” he said in a rush. “He wanted to know whether there was anything going on between you and him while we were still dating.”

Your stomach dropped, your eyes snapping up to Bucky before you gritted your teeth.

“And let me guess,” you said. “You told him you’d think about it and now you’re calling me to ask for something.”

“No actually,” he said. “I told him we broke up because I cheated on you, because you put your career over our relationship, the very same career you wouldn’t risk for anyone much less your boss.”

You pulled back slightly. “…What?”

“I gathered ambitious bitch sounded better than greedy slut. Not that you’re either of those but you know, the guy was an asshole.”

 You let out a surprised laugh.

“You’re telling me you had the perfect opportunity to fuck with me and you didn’t take it?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re not asking for anything in return?”

“No, I just wanted to let you know,” he said. “If they called me, it means they’re working on a piece.” 

You frowned, drumming your fingernails on the desk.

“And why would you do this without asking for anything in return?”

He fell quiet for a moment, then cleared his throat.

“Tessa said she’d leave me if I didn’t go to therapy,” he said. “And my therapist made me realize it wasn’t cool, what I did. What with keeping Blinky and stuff.”

“By ‘stuff’ you mean cheating on me, or the ultimatum or going behind my back at voting?” you asked and he took a deep breath.

“Yeah. Sorry about all that.”

As much as you wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, you figured this was at least just a little progress.

Very little, but either way.

“Well, what do you know?” you muttered. “I mean you’re still an asshole, that goes without saying but I appreciate the heads up.”

“My therapist says I have um… he says I am scared of emotional intimacy. That’s why I cheated on you, he says.”

“Yeah Max, because he can’t say you’re an asshole. You’re paying him.”

“I guess.” He snorted a laugh. “How’s DC?”

“Full of people who’d love to step on your back for their own gain. I haven’t slept in two days.”

Bucky shot you a disapproving look but you waved a hand in the air.

“So you’re having the time of your life?”

“Something like that.”

“That’s good—” He started but you heard another voice coming from the other line, probably his assistant. “I uh, sorry, I gotta go. Work thing.”

“I gathered,” you replied. “It’s almost five minutes.”

“…Yeah, that wasn’t cool either,” he said. “Also sorry about that.”

“Listen, how about I send you a list of things you should be sorry for and we can get all of them out the way?”

He let out a chuckle. “That’d make therapy so much easier. Can I call or email you to apologize then?”

“Call me and I’ll see if I’m in the forgiving mood,” you said and hung up, then looked up at Bucky.

“So, great news,” you said. “A journalist asked Max if you and I had an affair while I was with him, but he said no.”

“And he didn’t ask for anything in return?”

“He’s doing therapy, as it turns out,” you said. “My belief in psychology has been renewed because honestly, if they can make Max apologize…”

Bucky’s lips twitched into a smile and you bounced your leg, biting inside your cheek.

“We need to find who this journalist is.”

“I will.” His voice was completely calm. “And I’ll take care of it.”

“You can’t threaten him.”

“If he didn’t want me to threaten him, he shouldn’t have dragged you into whatever nonsense he’s working on,” he said, making your heart skip a beat. “That’s just not how it works.”

You tilted your head, feigning confusion. “I thought I was the one protecting you.”

He winked at you. “It’s a two-way street.”

You rolled your eyes at him playfully as he turned his head to look at the approaching footsteps before Caleb appeared at the door and let out a groan.

“I’m like two seconds away from assigning a chaperone to you like we’re in Georgian era,” he said. “Bucky, you might be familiar with that.”

“Wrong century, Caleb.”

“Well, how about we don’t start another fire when I’ve just extinguished the other one?”

You held up your hands and turned your attention to the screen, your cheeks burning and Bucky heaved a sigh, then pushed himself off the desk.

“Make her eat something.”

“I will but did you have the chance to think about what I said?”

You looked between them. “What did you say?”

“Caleb thinks we all should have a barbeque at my new place,” Bucky said. “Something something PR.” 

“It would show you’re still relatable and that you’re doing fine after the breakup.”

“That’s not a terrible idea,” you mused. “I haven’t been to your new place yet, and I missed Alpine.”

“And the team would love it,” Caleb added and Bucky’s gaze stopped on you as if he was torn between ideas, then cleared his throat.

“Yeah, whatever,” he told Caleb who pumped his fist in the air in victory. “Just let me know when.”

“Will do!”

“And I’m not locking Alpine in the room,” he said as he walked into his office. “She gives me an attitude for days when I do that.”

Caleb approached you to plop down on the chair next to your desk.

“Thanks for convincing him.”

“I barely said anything.”

“Well, I’ve been begging him for a week and one word from you…” he trailed off and you shook your head, then turned to him.

“Caleb.”

“Hm?”

“There’s something you need to know as Bucky’s communications director.”

His grin wiped off his face in a second. “What?”

“There’s a journalist,” you said. “And apparently he’s been asking questions about me and Bucky.”

Caleb ran a hand over his face, cussing under his breath.

“Of course,” he said and pulled out his phone. “It was getting a bit too peaceful today, so why not? Be right back.”

You watched him walk out of the office and pressed your hands on your eyes before you dropped them, straightening your back.

“It’s fine,” you murmured to yourself as you turned your attention back to the screen. “It’s totally fine.”

---

As your anxiety would show you; it was not, in fact, fine.

You had spent the whole day working, and now almost everyone had left but Kelsey and Bucky, both of whom were in a meeting with Congressman Murray.

And you. Working overtime.

It was already dark out, and the only thing illuminating the office was your laptop screen. You could feel the migraine slowly making its way to your temples. For the whole day, your chest hadn’t stopped feeling tight, like you couldn’t get enough air into your lungs especially after Max had told you about the journalist. In addition to all that, the work you had to cover was getting bigger and bigger, you still had one hundred pages to go over, and to make the necessary edits.

In other news, you might have bitten more than you could chew.

You typed away at the keyboard, forcing yourself to hum a melody in hopes of calming yourself down before you got up from your chair to make your way to Bucky’s office. You grabbed the file from his desk and went back to your desk, but before you could sit down, your phone buzzed on the desk, the screen lighting up.

From: Dad

We need to talk about the journalist.

And just like that, your line of sight grew narrow, darkness swallowing everything else other than the phone.

To your terror, you could feel the familiar tingling spreading over your face as your throat tightened, the breath you were taking getting stuck there. A fire burned through your chest, twisting your heart harder and harder while it tried to escape from your ribcage. You could feel your whole body beginning to shake, the floor getting wobbly underneath your feet like quicksand as you took a step back, grasping at your throat with one hand.

You’re not dying.

It’s a panic attack, you’re not dying.

Except that you were sinking.

You held onto the desk with one hand and managed to crouch down to sit on the floor as the room started spinning, your heart pounding in your ears. Nausea crashed down on you while you tried to get enough air in your lungs, your other hand balling up into fist tight enough to cramp.

You’re not dying.

You couldn’t even tell if it was tears or cold sweat running down your face; it was probably both. Your hand on your throat slipped down to your chest to press on it in hopes of soothing the pain there while you forced yourself to take another breath.

You’re not dying.

You see a laptop, you see a chair, you see a—

You hadn’t even heard Bucky stepping into the office before he rushed to you, his hands grasping your upper arms, almost frantically checking you for injuries like he wanted to see if you were bleeding.

“Birdie?”

“Not dying,” you managed to gasp out. “Panic attack.”

That made him stop only for a moment, a look of absolute relief crossing his face and he let out a breath.

“Okay,” he said. “You’re breathing very fast right now, can you breathe with me?”

You nodded your head, taking a shaky breath at the same time as him, then exhaled. For almost a minute, you followed his lead and once you weren’t breathing as fast, he gave you a small smile.

“There you go,” he said. “Five things you can see?”

That made your eyes snap to his as you took another breath. “How do you—?”

“Five things,” he said and you exhaled.

“Laptop,” you rasped out. “Chair. Papers. Desk. My fox figure on my desk.”

“Four things you can hear.”

You tried to focus, pulling your brows together.

“Your voice,” you said. “Footsteps from the hallway. AC.  Um…”

“One more.”

“The laptop running,” you said, pressing your palm on the floor. “And three things I can feel are…the marble floor, and sweat dripping down the back of my neck, which is fucking disgusting—”

“Birdie, focus.”

“And um, the wind. From the AC.”

“And two things you can—”

“Smell. Your cologne and paper. I just printed a bunch of stuff.” 

“And one thing you can taste?”

“Blood. I bit my tongue too hard.”

His eyes searched your face and you let out another shaky breath, exhaustion creeping up on you as you leaned your head back to the wall. Bucky hesitated for a second before he sat beside you, leaning back against the wall.

“How do you know grounding techniques?” you asked after a pause and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Mandatory therapy.”

“Ah,” you said, fixing your eyes on the ceiling. “Interesting.”

“And I’m guessing this is not your first panic attack?” he asked, making you scoff a laugh.

“Nope,” you said. “Been having them since I was like twelve.”

Bucky’s brows pulled into a frown. “Twelve?”

“Yup,” you said. “As it turns out, if you put too much pressure on a kid and yell at them whenever they didn’t meet the expectations, their brain gets messed up. Who would’ve known?”

“I’m going to kill your father.”

“You can’t,” you said. “If he’s dead, who’s gonna go around crossroads to make deals for people’s souls?”

“Birdie.”

“I’m fine,” you said even if your arms felt way too heavy when you raised your hand to wipe the sweat off your forehead. “This happens, no big deal.”

“How often?”

“Not regular,” you said. “Sometimes. But let me tell you, I would not last a day back in the 1940s. I saw those documentaries, my husband would send me off to an asylum and they’d try to lobotomize—”

“I’m giving you time off.”

“Tough shit, I’m not taking it.”

He gave you a look. “I’ll change the locks to the office.”

“I’ll work in the hallway.”

He ran a hand over his face as if he was straining his mind to come up with a solution and you wiggled your brows despite exhaustion.

“Sorry. I guess you shouldn’t have hired me, huh?”

“If I hadn’t hired you, neither of us would be here,” he said and thought for a moment. “Well, I wouldn’t be, at least. You would have probably made someone else win so you’d be here.”

“I wouldn’t have worked for someone else,” you murmured and he licked his lips.

“Please take some time off.”

“Nope.”

“You either take some time off, or I’m hiring someone to help you out with the workload.”

Your eyes widened. “Bucky, no.”

“Bucky yes.”

“I don’t trust anyone else with what I do,” you said. “They’re gonna miss something, some detail and then I’ll have to go over what they did anyway.”

“Either vacation, or this,” he said, his voice signaling this was not open to discussion. “You’re not leaving me with many options here.”

“There is an option!” you exclaimed. “The system we have works.”

“It obviously doesn’t if you haven’t slept in two days and the workload is triggering a panic attack.”

“It didn’t though!” you insisted. “It’s a coincidence, not a chain of events.”

“I’m not risking it.”

You huffed out, slipping a little on the floor and crossing your arms while Bucky’s lips twitched into a fond smile.

“You’re pouting.”

“I’m not pouting, I’m contemplating,” you corrected him and gritted your teeth, then rolled your eyes. “Fine. I’ll give the okay though, whoever you hire. I need to make sure they can handle this whole thing.”

“Didn’t think otherwise.”

You let out a noise of displeasure, exhaustion still heavy on your whole body and you leaned your head on his shoulder with a tired sigh. He dipped his head to nuzzle into your hair, making your stomach do a happy flip and you played with the bracelet around your wrist.

“Bucky?”

He hummed into your hair. 

“How did it go with Murray?”

He raised his lips from your hair so that you could hear him; “We’re not talking about work right now.”

“But—”

“Nope.”

“Fine,” you said with a pout. “How are you handling the breakup?”

That made him fall quiet for a moment before he cleared his throat.

“I’m fine.”

You lifted your head and sat up straighter to look up at him better.

“Are you?” you insisted. “For real? Because I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t. I mean no offense but Hazel is kind of perfect.”

“She is,” Bucky said immediately. “She really is, but I don’t think—uh, I don’t think I was the right person for her.

Your heart sped up again but this time instead of dread, all you could feel was excitement rushing through your veins.

“…Oh,” you managed to say. “Why not?”

That made him fall quiet for a moment, his gaze slipping down to your lips before it snapped up to your eyes again. You couldn’t help but notice his throat bobbed nervously, and he took a deep breath as if he was trying to gather up courage.

Which was insane.

You had seen him throw himself in danger over and over again without so much as a second of hesitation.

“Because,” he started, his voice soft, “Birdie, I—”

“Hello?” Kelsey’s voice carried out from the doorway, snapping both of you out of your daze. “Guys?”

You loved Kelsey but you could swear that the urge to scream at her was way too strong.

Bucky closed his eyes for a moment as if he shared the sentiment, then opened them again, his jaw tightening. You sat up straighter and raised your hand from beside the desk.

“Over here, Kels.”

“What the fuck are you two doing on the floor?” Kelsey asked as she made her way to you and you exchanged glances, then turned to her.

“I…we—uh—”

“I think better when I’m sitting on the floor,” Bucky cut you off and Kelsey tilted her head.

“What?”

“Yeah, it’s a habit from the 1940s.”

Kelsey looked from him to you while Bucky stood up, then offered his hand for you to take it, a warmth spreading from your hand to your arm. You were still exhausted, but you looked up at him and mouthed ‘thank you’. Bucky squeezed your hand in an assuring manner, and you turned to Kelsey.

“Are we going home?”

“Sure, let’s.”

“Call me when you get home?” Bucky murmured and you nodded your head, giving him a small smile, then grabbed your purse off the desk and followed Kelsey out of the office.

“Please don’t tell me you two were having sex on the office floor.”

You let out a laugh, then shook your head.

“We were talking about his ex,” you said and cracked your neck, making a face. “And oh, before I forget, Caleb says we’ll have a barbeque at Bucky’s place this Saturday.”

“At Bucky’s place?” she asked. “All of us?”

“Mm hm, the whole team and I think Sam and Sarah will come too.”

Kelsey grinned at you.

“Just let me know if you happen to find yourself in his bedroom and need me to distract others,” she joked. “During the house tour, that is.”

You pushed at her arm gently.

“There’s gonna be people there,” you reminded her. “Lots of people. Hypothetically, even if Bucky liked me like that—”

“Did they raise you in a convent?”

“That would still be impossible,” you said as if she didn’t interrupt you. “Which by the way, he doesn’t.”

“Uh huh.”

“I don’t even think he finds me hot, to be honest with you,” you said. “It’s like Hazel said. He entertains my crush, that’s it.”

Kelsey threw her head back.

“You are so oblivious,” she groaned. “This barbecue—”

“Will be just a barbecue,” you said. “Some PR thing, that’s it. I assure you.”

Chapter 13: Barbecue

Summary:

Anything can happen at a barbecue.

Notes:

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments, you're amazing! 🩷
I'll be on vacation on July, so we're going to get the next chapter early August🥰

A short white sundress wasn’t exactly professional but then again, everyone else in the team was going to show up in casual clothes anyway.

Even you had to admit, this was a good PR move. Having a barbecue party at his place surrounded by his team and his family –Wilsons— not only sounded fun but also would show the rest of the world that he wasn’t affected by his breakup, and business was as usual.

So technically, the sundress was purely because of PR reasons and not because you wanted him to think you were pretty.

 Technically being the key word.

You fixed your hair and your dress as much as you could with one hand while holding a stack of files and a box of cookies in the other, then knocked on his door and stepped back. Excitement was rushing through your system already, and you took a deep breath to calm yourself down, then looked up as the door opened.

“So I know I came a little early and brought work but the alternative was for me to work in the middle of the barbecue which is like not ideal in terms of PR, so I also brought cookies.”

Bucky looked frozen as he eyed you up and down, his mouth slightly open and you tilted your head in confusion.

“Bucky?”

His eyes whipped to yours and he shook his head as if trying to snap out of the daze he was in, then immediately got the files and the box of cookies from your hands.

“Hey,” he said. “Uh—come in!”

You stepped inside and smiled at Alpine who had run to the hallway to see what was happening.

“Hello my pretty princess!” you cooed, crouching down so that you could pet her. She purred, bumping her head against your hand before she closed her eyes while you ran your fingers through her soft fur.

“I still cannot believe she lets you pet her.”

“She likes me,” you said. “Don’t you Alpine?”

Her answer was rubbing her face against your hand and you scratched at her head, then stood up again to look around. This was bigger than his earlier place which you figured was normal for a Congressman, but it still had Bucky’s characteristics scattered around. His old pictures with The Howling Commandos as well as with Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson were framed on the walls, and as you passed by the living room, you could see his records and phonogram at the corner. You followed him to the kitchen, eyeing his muscular body hungrily, biting at your lip.

How did this man look good both in a suit and casual clothes?

“So.” He pulled you out of your daze as he placed the files and cookies on the kitchen island. “You shouldn’t have.”

“I mean.” You plopped down the stool. “It’s not like I baked them. I don’t want to poison you or the rest of the team.”

He let out a chuckle. “Really?”

“I don’t know how to bake,” you said. “And also I needed bribery so that you’d take a look at the files I brought.”

He eyed them wearily. “That’s a lot of pages.”

“But hey, the cookies are delicious.” You opened the box to turn it in his direction, wiggling your brows. “Try one.”

He heaved a sigh and grabbed one, then bit into it and raised his brows.

“Wow.”

“Right?”

“I’m not sure I know this flavor.”

“Blueberry coffee.”

“Blueberry coffee?” he repeated and you grinned.

“Yeah well, I happen to know you don’t like it too sweet,” you said. “The guy at the register said this one is pretty good—I still refuse to believe you don’t like dessert.”

“It’s not that I don’t like it,” he said. “I just don’t like too much sugar.”

“I could eat dessert for breakfast, lunch and dinner.” You clasped your hands under your chin. “Did you always dislike it?”

“Well,” he trailed off and shrugged his shoulders. “I mean sugar was rationed, so I didn’t grow up with too much of it. We had it better than most folk but we still didn’t use much. And then the war and then HYDRA…It took me a while to get used to food when I got back, and desserts weren’t the priority.”

You pursed your lips, your heart clenching with compassion. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Don’t be, I don’t mind.”

“You hate it when people ask you about your past though.”

He shook his head. “I don’t if you’re the one asking me.”

You could feel a smile warming your face, and you bit down on your lip.

“Well then, I’m making it my personal challenge to find desserts that you’ll like,” you said as he took another bite of the cookie. “And I’m warning you, I’m very ambitious.”

“Oh really?” he teased you, smiling back. “I haven’t noticed.”

“So I will succeed,” you said and reached out to grab the file at the top, then opened it. “Speaking of succeeding, I need you to take a look at these.”

He took a look at the multiple files, then turned to you.

“Coffee?”

“Oh my God, yes please.”

---

The problem with you and Bucky working alone was that you got along way too well. When you were around other people you could work efficiently but when it you were alone, you got way too distracted.

Like you were right now.

“That’s not a valid answer!” he insisted and you gasped.

“It is!”

“It’s not, it goes against the game.”

“There’s only one logical answer to the 3 things you should take to a deserted island. Powerboat, satellite phone, water filter.”

“Nope.”

“The goal is to get the fuck out of the island!” you insisted, moving your hands to emphasize your point and he shook his head.

“That’s cheating.”

“Fine, what am I supposed to take with me, genius?”

“Knife to hunt for food so you don’t starve, water to not die of dehydration, blanket to not freeze to death at night.” He counted with his fingers. “The goal is survival.”

“I wouldn’t survive a day in nature,” you said. “Like, if I’m ever in the nature, I’ll just let it kill me.”

“That’s not…”

“Also,” you added. “What if the animal I need to kill is a cute deer? What am I gonna do, kill Bambi?”

“Again, you have to survive somehow.”

You gasped. “Not at the expense of Bambi!”

“Sorry about Bambi,” he deadpanned and you made a face.

“Like I said,” you muttered. “I’m not hunting, I’m getting the hell out of the island. You have fun playing Survivor there.”

“See you’re saying this now but if we were both on the island, you’d be eating Bambi.”

“Bucky!”

“I’d just lie to you about where it came from.”

Your jaw dropped and you pushed at his arm, making him let out a laugh.

 “Bambi is in a farm,” he said, trying to keep a straight face, “where she can run all she wants and be happy—”

“Keep talking like that and I’ll get on my powerboat and leave you behind,” you insisted, pointing a finger at him. “I’m just not built for survival, okay? I can barely survive seasonal change, you think I’ll survive a goddamn island? Nope.”

“I’d keep you alive,” he said nonchalantly, reaching out into the box to get another cookie while you turned your phone in your hand.

“Okay, my turn.” You sat up straighter. “We talked about this the other day with Kels and Caleb.”

“I’m listening.”

“Let’s say you woke up tomorrow,” you said. “And everything is perfect. What’s the first thing you’d want to see?”

He raised his brows, a small smile playing on his lips and you took a sip of your coffee.

“Nothing is off limits,” you said. “And no judging, because Caleb said he’d wake up to a bank account of seven figures and had to deal with Kelsey asking him ‘what about world peace you heartless ass?’ for like days whenever he opened his mouth.”

Bucky let out a chuckle, humming as if he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to tell you or not. You narrowed your eyes at him, resting your elbows on the kitchen island and leaning in.

“Come on,” you taunted him. “Say it.”

“In a perfect world?”

“Yeah,” you said. “You can be totally selfish. What do you wake up to?”

His blue eyes searched your face, his smile fading as he swallowed thickly, then took a deep breath.

“You,” he said. “Next to me.”

Your gaze snapped up to his, the gears in your mind screeching to a halt, your breath hitching in your throat. You could feel your heart hammering in your chest, warmth rushing through your system so fast that it made you lightheaded while you tried your hardest to think through the haze.

Bucky liked you back.

…Oh God, he liked you back.

You could swear your whole body was shaking as you took a trembling breath in a desperate attempt to find your voice but before you could say anything, several voices carried out into the kitchen from the front door; Sam, Cass and AJ, and Sarah.

“Buck?”

“Uncle Bucky!”

“Boys, don’t run!”

Hurried footsteps approached and Bucky had to force himself to tear his gaze from yours, then turned to catch AJ and Cass who flung themselves to him mid-air.

“Whoa, did you guys get bigger since I last saw you?” he asked, making them giggle and you tried to pull yourself together, then waved at them.

“Hi guys.”

“Hi!”

“Oh hey there!” Sarah only hesitated for a moment by the doorframe before she went to kiss Bucky’s cheek, then turned to you. “It’s been so long, how have you been?”

“Good,” you managed to squeak out and then cleared your throat. “Great, and you?”

 “I left the door open because there are more people—” Sam paused when he saw you, his eyes going from you to Bucky and to you again. “Uh…more people coming. Hey.”

“Hi Sam, it’s great to see you.”

“Bucky, I already like your—no no no, Alpine, I come in peace!” Caleb’s voice reached the kitchen and Bucky put the boys down, then made his way to the hallway as if nothing was out of the ordinary, as if you weren’t about to pass out in the middle of the kitchen in front of Sam and Sarah.

“And I thought we were here early,” Sam commented, earning a not-so-subtle jab to his ribs from Sarah and you licked your lips, then nodded your head.

“Yeah I…we—we were working.” You vaguely motioned at the files on the kitchen island, your hands still shaky, and you cleared your throat again. “Um—excuse me.”

You made your way out of the kitchen to the hallway and grabbed Kelsey’s arm while Bucky was distracted by the rest of the team asking him where to put the things they brought before you pulled her into the bathroom and slammed the door behind you.

“What’s going on?” she asked and you covered your mouth, jumping up and down with a squeal.

“Kels…”

“What?”

“He likes me.”

Kelsey pulled her brows together. “What?”

You let out a giggle and dropped your hands, your cheeks almost hurting with how wide you were smiling while you bounced on the balls of your feet, your heart still slamming against your chest.

“Bucky,” you whispered. “He…he likes me.”

“Oh my God!” Kelsey pulled you into a tight hug, then pulled back to look at you better. “He said it?”

“Well he—you know, I asked him that question we were talking about the other day, the perfect world one. And he said he’d wake up next to me.”

“Holy shit!” Kelsey whispered and grabbed at your hand. “See? I told you!”

“I can’t believe it,” you said and let out a teary laugh, then fanned at your face with your other hand. “I’m gonna cry I think—”

“Nope you’re not, because the team will start asking questions,” Kelsey said and you took a deep breath, sniffling. “Then?”

“Then Sarah and Sam showed up, and then you guys.”

Kelsey blinked a couple of times. “You guys didn’t even kiss yet?”

“I couldn’t even tell him I like him back yet!” you whispered. “And I—how am I gonna get him alone without the whole team noticing?”

“Yeah, that’s too dangerous right now,” Kelsey said, then shrugged her shoulders. “You’ll have to wait until we all leave.”

Your eyes widened. “That’s hours away!”

“You two waited this long, you can wait a couple of hours,” she said while you let out a whine.

“But I want to kiss him!”

“You will do all that and more, just get through this barbecue nonsense.”

You threw your head back, stomping on your foot like a spoiled kid and Kelsey let out a laugh.

“You’ll be fine,” she said. “Want me to tell Caleb?”

“When you get home, yes,” you said. “I can’t risk anyone hearing it, and the place is full of people.”

“Yeah, good call.”

“And assuming I won’t explode until everyone leaves…”

Kelsey grinned. “To repeat. You could handle seven years of bad sex, you can handle like seven hours until mindblowing sex.”

Your head shot up.

“Wait wait wait,” you said, your heart doing an excited flip. “Do you think he wants to sleep with me? Like, tonight? Because I’m like so so ready but would he want to?”

“No Birdie, once we all leave you guys will hold hands and recite poetry. The fuck do you think?!”

You started fanning your face again.

“I mean I—obviously I really really really like him but also I—I want to jump on him,” you stammered. “Like, both emotional and physical.”

“Shocking,” Kelsey stated. “The sky is blue. Water is wet. You want to fuck Bucky.”

“I mean if he does want to talk about his feelings I can—”

“I don’t think any man would want to talk about his feelings when you’re in that dress and ready to jump in his bed,” Kelsey motioned at you and you beamed at her.

“Aw thank you! I got it from—”

“You can send me the link later,” she said. “We should go before they realize we’re hiding in the bathroom.”

You nodded your head while she opened the door to check the hallway, then stepped outside with you following her suit.

“Remember,” she said. “You’re not doing anything while we’re here. Too risky.”

You nodded again and fixed your hair, letting out a breath.

“Yeah,” you said as you walked with her to the kitchen. “Yeah, of course. Shouldn’t be that hard.”

---

Correction.

It was, in fact, that hard.

You couldn’t focus on a goddamn thing.

You were pretty sure that Bucky had told Sam because they were having a discussion in whispers at the corner of the garden while everyone drank and ate, and the only thing that pulled them out of it was Caleb when he wanted to take pictures with the whole team and Wilsons. You had taken a step in Bucky’s direction for the picture but Kelsey had pulled you to the other side of the crowd, muttering something about PR.

And throughout all that, it was as if you were in a haze.

Bucky’s eyes barely left you the whole day, though he hadn’t come closer to you like he wanted to give you your space to think about it. It was laughable to think he was under the impression that you wouldn’t throw yourself at him after months of pining after him, but Bucky could be very oblivious sometimes so you figured it was normal.

And you were still burning under his gaze, no matter how much you tried to act normal.

“So yeah, apparently Bucky winning gave Paul a huge leverage, just like the rest of us,” Tim said while you stole a look at Bucky who was chuckling at something Caleb said and Sarah let out a laugh, then said something while motioning at Bucky, making Caleb’s jaw drop as Bucky shook his head fervently like he was trying to convince him. “He got like a six figure deal for Senator Holloway’s next campaign. Anyways, I can barely talk to you during work nowadays.”

“Yeah, I’m like swamped with work,” you said, barely paying attention to Tim. “It’s fun but also very busy.”

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he said, clearing his throat like he was trying to gather up courage while Bucky’s eyes found yours, awakening the butterflies in your stomach, a fire sweeping over your face. “Do you want to grab coffee sometime when you’re—”

“I’ll talk to you later, I just remembered an email I’m supposed to send Gray,” you said without so much as hearing what he was saying before you made your way back into the house so that you could calm down a little. You let out a breath and went into the kitchen to fill yourself a glass of water in hopes of helping the fire burning at the pit of your stomach. You took a huge gulp, then turned your head when you heard Cass saying your name from the doorframe.

“Hey,” you said with a small smile. “What’s up?”

“Um, can you help us with something?”

“Sure thing,” you said, following him to the living room and AJ gave you a shy smile, then pointed at the phonograph.

“Do you know if it works?”

“I think so.”

“Can we play it? I would ask uncle Bucky but he’s talking to mom and the other guests.”

“I don’t think Bucky would mind,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders, then stepped closer to the phonograph. “Sure you can. Want me to help?”

“Yes please,” they both said, making you press a hand over your chest.

“You guys are like the sweetest kids in the world,” you said and sat down in front of the phonograph, tucked your legs under you, then pulled a couple of vinyl records from the shelf underneath it. “Do you have a favorite?”

AJ thought for a moment. “We don’t know any old singers.”

“That’s totally fine,” you said gently. “We can pick together then, and it’ll be a surprise to all of us. Exciting, isn’t it?”

They both nodded and sat down, and as if on cue, Alpine jumped from the couch to curl up next to you.

“Hi,” you said with a smile as you ran your fingers through her fur. “Alpine wants to listen to music too, I guess.”

Cass reached out to pet her while you put some of the records on the floor.

“Which one?” you asked them and they both turned their attention on the covers of the records with such serious expressions that one would think they were trying to decide on something incredibly important.

“Do you have a favorite?” Cass asked and you pretended to zip your mouth shut.

“I trust your judgment.”

They exchanged glances and Cass whispered something into AJ’s ear, making him frown before he nodded.

“Um,” he said and pointed at one of the records. “This one?”

“Whoa!” you said. “How did you guys know it’s my favorite?!”

Well, no.

Sinatra wasn’t your favorite, not by a long shot but they didn’t need to know that.

Their eyes shone with excitement and AJ grinned.

“Really?”

“Oh I’m like a huge fan of him,” you said. “Okay, let’s play him then. Who wants to do it?”

“We don’t know how to play it.”

“I’ll tell you. It’s very easy.”

Cass grabbed the record, then looked at you. “What if I break it or something?”

You shrugged your shoulders and dropped your voice like you were giving them a secret.

“I have the exact same record at home,” you whispered. “If you break it, I’ll replace it with mine, and Bucky won’t even notice.”

Cass giggled and pulled out the record out of the sleeve and you turned the phonograph on.

“Okay, you have to move the needle. AJ, can you do it?”

AJ nodded and moved the needle.

“And Cass, can you place the record over there?”

Cass did as you asked.

“And now, let’s put the needle here,” you muttered, reaching out to put the needle on the record, and the melody filled the room, making them gasp. The look of excitement on their faces was so sweet that you couldn’t help but laugh, then clasped your hands together.

“There you go!” you said. “Told you it was easy.”

“Um, how does it work?” AJ asked and you pointed at the record spinning on the player.

“So there are grooves on it,” you said. “On the vinyl. The needle follows—”

“Uncle Bucky!” Cass ran to the door and your heart skipped a beat, and you looked over your shoulder to see Bucky leaning to the doorframe, watching you with a soft light in his eyes. You tried to pull yourself together and cleared your throat, then motioned at the phonograph.

“I’m teaching them how to use it.”

“We picked her favorite record!”

“They’re way too smart,” you told Bucky as if giving him a secret and Bucky chuckled.

“Oh yeah, they are.”

“And then?” AJ insisted. “How does it turn into music?”

“So yeah, the needle!” You turned to the phonograph. “Okay, the needle follows those grooves. You see those?”

“Mm hm.”

“So the needle follows those to make the sound, and there are magnets in the phonograph,” you said. “Those magnets turn it into soundwaves, and then—”

“Uncle Bucky, she looks like a princess,” You heard Cass’s very loud whisper and you bit back a smile.

“She really does, buddy.” Bucky whispered back, making your cheeks burn and AJ rolled his eyes.

“Don’t mind him,” he told you in exasperation like this was a daily occurrence and you repressed a laugh.

“And then those soundwaves follow here, and tada! Music.”

“Because of magnets?”

“Magnets and soundwaves, yeah.”

“Whoa,” AJ said and turned to Bucky. “But Uncle Bucky, you do know you can listen to music on your phone now?”

“He’s old,” you told AJ, shooting a grin at Bucky. “Give him time, he doesn’t know half of the artists we listen to nowadays.”

“I’ll show you my favorite, come on!” AJ ran to him to pull him by the hand. “You’ll love it!”

“Buddy, can you give me a minute?” he asked without pulling his gaze off you and you shook your head and stood up, making Alpine let out a noise of discontent.

“No, come on!” AJ insisted. “It’s really good music!”

“That sounds important,” you said, while Cass nodded fervently. “Go.”

He looked like he wanted to argue but ended up letting AJ pull him out of the living room to the garden, Cass running after them. You looked down at Alpine who was blinking up at you, then leaned down to scratch at her head.

“It’s fine,” you muttered while she purred. “Patience is a virtue and all that.”

---

You could swear time had decided to move extra slow today.

But it had done nothing to soothe the excitement pulsing through your system, if anything it heightened it.

Thankfully, people were leaving. Everyone was in a good mood, and it was Saturday evening, so you could hear the plans they were trying to decide on as they walked from the garden to the kitchen. You pushed up the sleeves of zip up hoodie Bucky had given you earlier today when you got cold and sat down on the stool, trying to act like your heart wasn’t beating in your throat.

“Bucky, are you sure?”

“Very sure.”

“Sam, you should join us!”

“I appreciate that Kelsey, but I am too old to go bar hopping with you guys.”

“That’s not even true! We only changed like four clubs the last time.”

“Exactly.”

“Miss Wilson?”

“Thank you Caleb, but what Sam said. And I gotta put the boys to bed.”

“Mom, can we go?”

“Nope.”

“Tim?”

“I’m down.”

“Lisa?”

“Oh for sure. Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Birdie?”

 You lifted your eyes from the file in front of you.

“Bucky and I will work until late I think,” you said calmly, motioning at the rest of the files. “I’ll take an Uber. See you at home.”

You could see Bucky’s head snapping up like he wasn’t expecting you to stay, Sam and Sarah exchanging glances before they both smirked and Caleb frowned while Tim looked almost sad that you weren’t joining.

“Seriously?” Caleb asked. “It’s Saturday night.”

“And just because you don’t work doesn’t mean no one else can,” Kelsey said, grabbing him by the arm, and Caleb gasped.

“I have been working all day today, if you haven’t noticed—”

“See you guys!” Kelsey said as she dragged him out of the kitchen, Lisa, Tim, Sarah, Sam and the boys following them. Bucky walked them to the door, the chatter in the hallway continuing in full speed until the door opened, and then closed again.

Then, silence.

As silent as it could be with your heart pounding in your ears.

You slipped from the stool to lean your back against the kitchen island, trying to keep your breathing under control, squeezing the phone in your hand as you heard his footsteps coming closer until he appeared at the doorframe.

God, he was way too handsome.

You tried to swallow the nervousness tightening your throat as he took a step closer, putting his hands in his pockets.

“You didn’t leave.”

“Didn’t want to.”

His blue eyes searched your face as if he was trying to read your mind, making your heartbeat even faster.

“How long?” you managed to ask and he huffed out a curt laugh.

“For…” he trailed off. “Since I first saw you. Since you waltzed into the office with that huge folder and put it on my desk and said ‘Hi, you don’t know me yet but I figured out how to win this thing.”

A giggle bloomed in your mouth.

“But why wouldn’t you tell me?” you whispered, taking a step to him and he shook his head.

“You’ve been thinking about this just for a day, I’ve been thinking about this for a very…”

The rest of his sentence got lost somewhere as shock muffled your ears before realization crashed down on you.

…Oh.

Oh, Bucky actually thought—

He had no idea you stayed because you returned his feelings, he was under the impression that you stayed because you wanted him to explain. He actually thought today was the first time you thought about the possibility of you and him.

The idea was so absurd that you couldn’t help the exhale of disbelief leaving you.

“You think—” you cut him off. “Wait, Bucky…You—you think today is the first time I’ve thought about this?”

He looked like he didn’t know how to answer your question and a laugh climbed up your throat.

“Oh my God,” you whispered. “And I thought I was very obvious.”

He frowned slightly as you licked your lips, your stomach still fluttering.

“Ask me what my answer was.”

“To what?”

“The perfect world question,” you said with whatever courage you could pull from somewhere within you. “I know your answer but you don’t know mine. Ask.”

Bucky swallowed thickly, his voice low; “What was your answer?”

You could swear you were shaking, but by some miracle, when you spoke, your voice didn’t crack.

“The same as yours.”

The look of hope that dawned on his handsome face was so foreign that it took you by surprise. You hadn’t even seen it the night he won the election; he was happy then but this was something else. He took a step to close the distance between you, his flesh hand lifting a little so that he could cup your cheek, making your breath catch in your throat. His gaze slipped to your lips, then back at your eyes as if he was asking for your permission and you looked up at him, breathless with anticipation before you nodded. You could almost hear the crackling in the air, something electric between you coming to life, getting more and more intense—

Until his lips found yours.

This was different.

From all the times Max kissed you, or all the times you kissed guys before Max, none of it had ever been like this.

This was pure, unadulterated desire.

You could feel yourself melting in his arms as you lost yourself in his kiss, your fingers curling in his shirt just so that you could have an anchor, but a small whine escaping you when he pulled back to rest his forehead against yours, his breath caressing your lips. Your eyes fluttered open as he pulled down the zipper of the hoodie you were wearing over your sundress, his movements agonizingly slow like he was opening up a fragile present before he let it fall on the floor, desire making you dizzy. He dragged his fingertips down your arm, and gently pulled your phone out of your hand to put it aside just out of your reach, your head following the movement.

“Wait, I…” You tried to think through the haze. “I need that.”

“No.” Bucky’s voice was soft as he shook his head. “You don’t.”

You blinked up at him.

“What if—” you stammered, “what if while we’re not looking the world catches fire?”

A small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth as he leaned in again. “Good. Let it burn.”

You were beginning to think no matter how close he was, it would never be enough with the way your body ached for him. He took your breath away when he kissed you again, his heart drumming under your hand, and he wrapped his arm around your waist to press your body closer to his, only pulling back to trail his thumb over your burning cheekbone.

“God…” he whispered in awe. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?”

The room was spinning.

You were on fire.

It had to be because of the fire that you didn’t even realize the words coming out of your mouth until you actually heard them:

“I love you.”

And everything went still.

Including him.

It was as if someone had just poured a bucket of ice water over you, your whole body stiffening the moment you realized what you had actually said. Your eyes snapped open, your breath catching in your throat as tears of frustration rushed to your eyes, and Bucky pulled back to see you better, a look of surprise etched on his handsome face.

Of course you had to ruin it.

“Sorry, I—sorry, I’m just—I’m gonna—” You couldn’t even finish your sentence as you rushed past him to get to the hallway, leaving him in the kitchen completely frozen.

You were an idiot.

You just had to open your stupid mouth and ruin it.

You couldn’t even blame Bucky or anyone else. Hazel had a point, you were the starry-eyed idiot with a schoolgirl crush who couldn’t keep her fucking mouth shut just because he had kissed you.

You all but ran down the hallway to get to the front door but the minute you pulled it to yourself, you felt his presence behind you before he slammed the door close with enough force to shake it in its hinges, making you gasp in surprise.

This must’ve been how he was on missions.

No one heard him coming until it was too late.

If this were someone else—anyone else, you would’ve been petrified but even now, through the frustration and shock, your mind somehow knew that Bucky would rather cut off his own hand than hurt you. No part of him touched you, and for a moment he just stood there behind you, the warmth of his body nearly intoxicating until he broke the silence, his voice a low murmur.

“Did you mean it?”

“What does it matter?” You managed to rasp out. “I ruined it.”

“Birdie…”

“Listen, you’ll say it’s too much, I—I know, it’s fine.” You stumbled over your words. “You’ll have my resignation letter tonight, and Kelsey will pick up my things from the office. We don’t have to talk about any of this, just…” You wiped your eye with the back of your hand. “I ruined it, it’s fine, I’m just gonna go, okay?”

“You didn’t—” Bucky let out an impatient breath. “Sweetheart, can you just look at me please?”

You were pretty sure that if you saw the look of disappointment in his eyes, you were going to collapse on the floor and start sobbing but you sniffled, then turned around to look up at him.

That didn’t look like disappointment.

He lifted his hand to wipe at the tear under your eye with a soft smile.

“I’m not gonna say it’s too much.”

For some reason that remained a mystery to you, you jumped at the opportunity to convince him; “No you should say it’s too much because it is too much, because like I’d totally understand—”

You were cut off when he brushed his lips against yours, but this time it was way too gentle like he feared you would break if he so much as held you wrong. He pulled back to let you breathe since your nose was clogged because of the tears that kept coming, and your eyes fluttered open, confusion settling over your mind like a fog, engulfing all your thoughts in it.

What was happening?

Bucky’s eyes darted over your face, and he took a deep breath like he was nervous.

“I’m not good at this,” he muttered. “But I need you to listen to me, okay?”

You pulled your brows together and sniffled, then nodded.

“I…” he trailed off. “For the last what, 80 years now? Everything with HYDRA, and those missions and cryo, over and over again, it was all ice. That was the only permanent thing. Bone-chilling cold. And when I first came back, when I got my mind back, I kept wondering why I still felt so cold, like a part of me never really left there.”

You blinked back the tears, wiping at your nose.

“And eventually, I figured it would be like that for the rest of my life. No matter what I did, what I tried, it was yet another thing that I would never get back, something that HYDRA carved into me. I got all of it out of my mind but I couldn’t get that…that chill out of my chest.” He paused for a moment and breathed out a curt laugh like he was lost in the memory, his brows furrowing.

“Until you came along,” he said, his voice a mere whisper. “And brought the warmth with you.”

You didn’t even notice the tears were back until Bucky wiped under your eye with a knuckle, trailing your cheekbone.

“I’m not gonna say it’s too much,” he told you. “I can’t. I love you too.”

…Oh.

Bucky—

Bucky loved you.

He actually loved you.

You stared up at him in complete silence as Bucky reached behind you, and you heard the unmistakable sound of the door opening before he stepped back, a shadow playing in his eyes like he was preparing for the pain, like he expected you to somehow reach into his chest to rip out his heart and walk out, leaving him with ice in his chest again.

“I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want me to,” he said. “Including keeping you here. I just needed you to know, that’s it.”

This had to be the third time he gave you a way out today, and each time it felt more and more insane to even think you would walk away.

A small sob climbed your throat, disbelief making you let out a teary laugh before you grabbed the door handle, pushed the door close, then flung yourself into his arms to pull him into a kiss. Your head was spinning, you were breathless, your heart felt like it was trying to climb out of your ribcage but none of that was enough to make you stop kissing him. He leaned down to snake his vibranium arm behind your thighs to lift you up like you weighed nothing, making you let out a squeal that soon turned into a giggle as you wrapped your legs around his waist. He carried you to the room at the other end of the hallway which turned out to be his bedroom, not pulling back from your kiss as if it would somehow break the spell until he carefully laid you down on the bed, settling between your legs. You tugged at his shirt with shaky hands and he pulled it off his head to throw it somewhere in the room, and you had only a couple of seconds to drink in the sight of his muscular torso before his lips found yours again. You trailed your fingertips down his chest to his abs and tried to unbuckle his belt but he pulled back, making you chase his lips with an impatient whine.

“Birdie—hey,” he whispered, his warm hand cupping your cheek as your eyes fluttered open, your heart beating in your ears. “Slow, okay darling?”

You tried to catch your breath, confusion pinching your brows together. No one had ever asked you to be slower about anything in your entire life; on the contrary, you were either pushed or convinced to be faster, to rush, to get it over with, whatever it was.

In or outside the bed.

“I, um…” You tried to find your voice through the fog of desire, looking up at him as he stroked your burning cheek while you played with his dog tags. “I don’t—I don’t know how to do things slow. I think.”

You could see that fond light glimmering in his blue eyes even in the dimly lit room.

“That’s okay,” he murmured, his vibranium fingertips running up and down your leg, waking goosebumps on your skin. “I’ll teach you how.”

This was new.

And way too unfamiliar.

And for once, your brain couldn’t think, not when he was looking at you like that, touching you like that.

“And you don’t—” You paused, but somehow Bucky didn’t seem annoyed by you trying to wrap your mind around the idea. Instead he waited patiently like he had all the time in the world, like there was nothing more important than what you were about to say. “You sure you don’t want to be fast to…”

For fuck’s sake, it was so hard to produce a single thought when he was half naked on top of you.

“To do what, beautiful?” he asked softly, nudging your nose with his, coaxing a giggle out of you while you trailed your fingertips over his muscular back.

“To do something else?” you said, what Max would always say when you were in bed flashing through your mind. “To—to work?”

He looked almost at a loss for words at the mere suggestion but he seemed to pull himself together much faster than you, a chuckle rumbling in his chest.

“Birdie,” he murmured and dipped his head to kiss your neck, his hand pushing the hem of your dress up your legs, making your eyes flutter close. “I cannot even begin to tell you how much we won’t work tonight.”

Chapter 14: Warmth

Summary:

Lying is necessary sometimes.

Notes:

A.N: I'm back from my vacation, thank you so so much for your patience and wonderful support! 🩷

You weren’t used to sleeping long hours.

Maybe it was the extreme amounts of coffee and energy drinks you consumed during the day, maybe it was the stress, or maybe it was because you kept waking yourself up to write down whatever you wanted to remember in the morning about the schedule or the drafts or anything you were working on. You would usually wake up around dawn short of breath with your heart pounding in your chest with anxiety so this—

This felt new.

The bright light spilling into the room from the window and wrapping you in its warmth penetrated through the haze of sleep, making you heave a sigh. You knew you were supposed to get up, but your body was exhausted as if you had run a marathon and your muscles ached in protest the moment you attempted to move your arm, making your eyes flutter open.

…Oh.

Your heart starting to pound in your chest had nothing to do with anxiety this time. A smile lit up your face, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you lifted your head very slowly from Bucky’s chest. You were practically draped on him and he was holding you close to his body with one arm while his vibranium arm was thrown over his eyes to block the sunlight, his hair all messy. You let your eyes roam his muscular chest, going down to his abs until you saw the sheets covering his waist, biting down on your lip. You stole a look at his face but before you could decide on what you wanted to do, his lips curled into a small smile.

“Good morning to you too.”

Your stomach did a happy flip at his raspy voice.

“How did you know I was staring?”

“You can’t tell when someone is staring at you?”

“No.”

He lifted his arm to look down at you, his blue eyes gleaming with mischief.

“That explains a lot,” he murmured, his fingertips grazing your spine. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you whispered, your smile getting bigger and you pulled yourself up to brush your lips against his. His hand went up to cradle the back of your head as soon as you pulled back to steal another kiss from you, making you giggle.

“Sorry if my staring woke you up.”

He shook his head. “Don’t be. And you didn’t, I’ve been awake for a while.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Because I dreamt about this way too many times,” he said softly, coaxing a smile out of you. “I was enjoying it.”

You hummed, resting your chin on his chest and looking up at him while his fingertips trailed your spine, wakening goosebumps on your skin. You could swear your heart was melting when you saw that soft light in his eyes and you heaved a sigh, then tapped your finger on his chest.

“Still warm?”

A lazy smile curled his lips.

“Yeah,” he rasped out and gently tapped his finger on your temple. “Still quiet?”

The voice in your head. The one that kept saying no one would fall in love with you.

You paused for a moment, then nodded your head. “Yeah.”

Bucky’s eyes raked over your face as if he was trying to read your mind. “Do you feel okay?” 

You licked your lips.

 “I feel… hazy?” You tried to find the right words for the pleasant warmth surrounding you and settling into your mind. “I feel good and sore and tired and well-rested at the same time, it’s strange.”

“I mean we were up until after midnight,” he said with a grin, making your cheeks burn. “I still cannot believe you thought we’d go to sleep after the first—”

“In my defense,” you cut him off. “I’m used to like, five minutes, okay? Not—” You paused, deep in thought. “Not however many rounds it was. I don’t even remember when I went to sleep, when did we go to sleep?”

“You were murmuring about how we should move to a small town and do this day and night, then you fell asleep mid-sentence,” Bucky said helpfully, still grinning as if he couldn’t hear your embarrassed whine. “It was adorable.”   

“Stop.”

“Funny, I seem to remember you saying the exact opposite.”

“Bucky!” you exclaimed, making him chuckle.

“Just saying.”

“Hold on,” you said when the thought hit you. “I slept very late, why do I feel well-rested? What time is it?”

Bucky checked his wristwatch. “Eleven.”

“It’s not eleven.”

“It is.”

“I slept until eleven?!” you asked, panic shooting through the haze in your mind. “I haven’t checked my phone in hours, it’s almost afternoon? Oh my God, I have to—”

“Nope.” Bucky stopped you before you could push the covers off of you and pulled you back into the bed by your arm before he settled between your legs, making you giggle.

“Bucky!”

“Don’t.”

“But I need to check—”

“The world didn’t catch fire while we weren’t looking.”

“But—”

“Just let me have you to myself a little more,” he murmured, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. “Before I have to share you with the rest of the world.”

Your eyes fluttered close when he brushed his lips against yours, coaxing a pleasant sigh out of you, then you gazed up at him, painfully aware of just how love-struck you looked. You reached up to fiddle with his dog tags so that you could distract yourself and smiled when he nudged your nose with his.

“I didn’t think…” you trailed off and laughed. “Might as well finish the sentence here.”

“You always think.”

Your eyes darted over his face. “Why wouldn’t you tell me earlier?”

“About the time?”

“About this.”

“You know why,” he murmured. “I kept telling myself that if I touched you, I’d get blood on you. I still think that, I’m just…”

He paused as if the thoughts storming in his mind were too much and you raked your nails through his hair, the simple gesture making him close his eyes in bliss before he forced himself to open them again.

“I’m too selfish to fight it anymore,” he admitted and you shook your head.

“That’s not true.”

“Birdie—”

“You’ve been pointing me in the direction of the nearest exit since last night.” Your voice was just above a whisper as you cupped his cheek so that he could look you in the eye. “I’m not going that way.”

He swallowed thickly, his blue gaze locked in yours as if he was trying to assure himself you were telling the truth.

“You should.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I won’t.”

He turned his head to press a kiss into your palm, warmth spreading in your ribcage. He heaved a sigh in deep thought, his brows pinched in a frown and you ran your fingers over the stubble on his cheeks.

“Hey,” you said, your voice quiet. “Where did you go?”

He let out a breath, blinking a couple of times as if he was trying to focus.

“I’m here,” he said. “I’m here, trust me. I was thinking about Sarah.”

You raised your brows, grinning. “While I’m naked under you, Barnes? Wow.”

His eyes widened. “No no—”

“Talk about lovebombing—”

“That’s not what I meant!” he cut you off in a rush. “No it’s just, she said something the other day about you and me, that’s all.”

You hummed, playing with his dog tags. “What did she say?”

“She said maybe all that stuff happened in the past because I was meant to meet you here.”

Your heart skipped a happy beat. “And do you agree?”

“One hundred percent,” he said. “Do you?”

“Yeah—I mean don’t get me wrong, what happened to you was terrible, all those decades,” you added. “I wish they didn’t happen but when I think about you in the 40s and me being here, imagining not meeting you or being with you…”

Even the idea was way too heavy for your heart and you shook your head, an ache appearing at the back of your throat. He stroked your hair before he ran his knuckles over your temple, and brushed his lips against yours.

“I’m here,” he murmured. “We both are.”

You looked up at him, your brows furrowed. “But are you happy about it?”

He tilted his head in confusion and you took a deep breath.

“Because you know, what happened with Steve Rogers and going back and like, he went back the minute he could and—”

“That’s very different,” he cut you off. “And I wouldn’t go back.”

“Even if you could?”

“Yeah. Even if I could, I wouldn’t.”

“But your best friend did.”

Bucky thought for a moment, then licked his lips.

“I think Steve was always meant to go back because he had someone waiting for him in the past,” he said. “I was meant to go forward because I had you waiting for me in the future.”  

Despite the tears stinging your eyes, a smile lit up your face and you pulled him down for a kiss, but before his lips could touch yours the loud growl of your stomach let both of you know just how hungry you were, making him pull back with a chuckle while you scrunched up your nose in embarrassment.

“Jesus…” you muttered. “So uh—fun thing when you’re not a super soldier, after burning energy you need fuel.”

“Oh is that right?”

“Mm hm.”

“This is proving to be a very enlightening morning,” Bucky told you with an overly serious expression on his face before he smiled. “Come on, I’ll make you breakfast.”

“Or—” You stopped him before he could get off of you. “Or we have sex, then we have breakfast. Burning more energy and stuff.”

He hummed. “Or we have breakfast, and then we have sex.”

“Or we have sex and then we have more sex,” you pointed out. “That’s also an option. I mean what’s breakfast anyway?”

“The most important meal of the day for someone who, and I quote, is not a super soldier.”

“I didn’t say you could use my words against me,” you grumbled as he pecked you on the lips and got up. You couldn’t help but gawk at his chiseled body while he got dressed, then turned to shoot you a smug grin.

“You’re staring again.”

“I’m staring romantically,” you defended yourself when he came to kiss the top of your head. “There’s a difference.”

“I’ll take your word for it darling,” he teased you as he walked out of the room and you heaved a sigh, then pushed the covers off you.

“Breakfast it is,” you said and paused for a moment. “Actually, shower and breakfast it is.”

---

Staying away from your phone for more than an hour was something you couldn’t even comprehend, and it seemed that the outside world agreed. You had so many notifications and texts, so after you took your shower, got into one of Bucky’s shirts and went to the kitchen, you decided to get it over with.

Hence Caleb yelling at you on the phone.

“We didn’t push you out of the loop—you’re literally in the loop!” you insisted while he let out a scoff of disbelief. “You’re one of the what, like three people who knows about this?”

Bucky looked over his shoulder to mouth “four” and you nodded.

“Four people,” you corrected yourself as he returned to the food on the pan so that it wouldn’t burn. “Four people, that’s the loop.”

“You told Kels and didn’t think to tell me for the whole day!”

“You were busy with the PR thing.”

“That’s such a bullshit excuse,” he insisted as you leaned back to the kitchen island. “And technically, I’m the first person who’s supposed to know about this. It’s literally my job—you guys aren’t planning on walking outside hand in hand right?”

“I haven’t lost my mind, thank you for asking,” you retorted while Bucky put the food on the plates, then extended his hand to motion at you to give him the phone. “Bucky wants to talk to you.”

You handed him the phone and jumped to sit on the kitchen island as Bucky took it to his ear.

“Caleb,” he said. “Don’t call her or me until tomorrow, talk to you later.”

He hung up, making your jaw drop.

“Bucky!”

He shot you a mischievous grin and put the plate into your lap. “The food was gonna get cold.”

You let out a laugh and grabbed your fork to dig in, your brows shooting up in surprise as you chewed.

“Holy shit, this is good. I might in fact revise my stance on breakfast.”

“You should,” he said with a smile, then took a sip of his coffee. “So I was thinking.”

You hummed.

“Tomorrow, after we’re done, we could grab dinner and—”

“Grab dinner outside?” You cut him off and he frowned as if you were asking a rhetorical question.

“Yeah?”

Ah.

This was going to be interesting.

You swallowed your bite, then pursed your lips and put your plate aside so that you could sit up straighter.

“Bucky…” you trailed off and took a deep breath. “You do realize that we are going to need to keep this a secret for the time being, right?”

Confusion pinched his brows together. “Why?”

Hazel was right, Bucky really didn’t see it.

“You’ve seen how people reacted to that pic of us at the pub.”

“But that’s because I was in a relationship,” Bucky told you while you shook your head. “People thought—”

“That’s not only because you were in a relationship.” You cut him off. “It may have been a contributing factor, but it wasn’t the real reason. I work for you, people will have a lot of opinions about that.”

“Who cares?” he asked. “If they have a problem with it, they can bring that up with me.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“It is.”

“It really isn’t,” you said. “Listen, if this gets out, none of my accomplishments will matter. Everything that I’ve done will stop being mine and turn into…like, you handed them to me because I was sleeping with you.”

“That’s not—”

“And everything that I’m doing in the congress right now? Everything that has my name on it will be because I’m sleeping around—and before you say anything,” you said when he opened his mouth to argue. “You can’t beat people up for thinking that because that’ll be the whole country, give or take.”

He gritted his teeth in annoyance, his lips pulled into an adorable pout.

“But we’re in love,” he insisted as if that had the power to change the entire world, making you smile.

“I know that,” you said and reached to take his flesh hand between yours. “But the rest of the world won’t see it that way.”

He heaved an impatient sigh, his jaw clenching and you squeezed his hand.

 “Trust me on this?” you asked and he nodded after a moment of hesitation.

“Okay,” he muttered. “What’s your solution?”

“Waiting, for the time being,” you said. “I need to talk to Caleb and come up with an actual plan, but either way, we can’t really be seen together while I’m working for you.”

His brows knit together— a telltale sign of him being in deep thought— before he nodded again.

“Yeah.”

You couldn’t help the smile twitching your lips. “You don’t like it.”

“I don’t,” he admitted. “At all, but I’m not gonna do anything that might end up with you getting hurt, in any way. So okay, let’s keep it a secret.”

Warmth spread inside your chest and you pulled him down for a kiss but as soon as you did, Alpine jumped on the counter before getting on your lap, purring. A laugh escaped you and Bucky picked her up easily to drop her to the floor.

“Down,” he said and turned to kiss you again, but Alpine jumped into your lap once again, this time blinking up at Bucky as if daring him to pick her up again.

Bucky shot her an exasperated look. “Are you serious right now?”

The only answer she got from Alpine was her kneading your legs before she curled into a ball, still purring.

“She’s so cute!” you said, running your fingers through her fur and Bucky shook his head.

“Unbelievable,” he said. “Alpine, down.”

“Don’t use that voice with her, she’s a princess!” you argued. “And she missed me.”

“Makes two of us.”

“She hasn’t seen me since last night!” you insisted as Bucky picked her up to put her down to the floor again, and before she could jump up, he had already hoisted you into his arms, making you squeal.

“Bucky!”

“Don’t blame me, she’s not leaving me with many options here,” Bucky said as he carried you to the bedroom and closed the door before Alpine could get in, making you gasp.

“That’s mean!” you protested. “You’re being mean!”

 A giggle escaped you when he put you down on the bed and settled between your legs, looking down at you.

“I’m being mean?”

“Very, very mean,” you teased him and he hummed, nuzzling to the crook of your neck for a moment before he helped you get out of his shirt, then started kissing his way down your body.

“Well,” he said as your breath caught in your throat, your head hitting the soft pillows. “Better make up for it, I guess. Can’t have my girl think I’m very, very mean.”

---

Despite Bucky’s attempts to convince you, you knew you couldn’t spend the night at his place so eventually you went back home. Kelsey and Caleb had one hundred questions and you were very excited to tell them everything, so by the midnight, you were still sitting on the floor drinking wine.

“I can’t believe you guys told each other you loved each other before you had sex.”

“Well, that actually fits the era he’s from,” Kelsey told Caleb who shrugged his shoulders.

“You’d have to waterboard that information out of me before sex.”

“In my defense, I didn’t plan it,” you said, taking a huge sip of your wine. “It just slipped out.”

“Before he slipped in.”

“Caleb!”

“Bad innuendos are my way of revenge.” He tilted his wine glass in your direction. “You’ve just made my life so much harder.”

“We’re keeping it a secret,” you reminded him. “For the time being.”

“Please, one look at your face and people will be able to tell you got laid.”

“No!”

“You have that I had multiple orgasms for the first time in my life look on your face.”

“It was for the first time in my life,” you admitted. “But I don’t have that look on my face!”

“He’s got a point,” Kelsey said. “We need to be extra careful with you two because something tells me Bucky won’t be subtle.”

“We’ll be very professional.”

“Very professional my ass,” Caleb said and snapped his fingers. “Oh, we forgot to tell you! Kels also got laid last night. I’m beginning to feel left out at this point, like I’m a priest or something.”

“That journalist guy?” you asked her and she nodded.

“Yeah, I called him to the club and then…” She waved a hand in the air and you raised a brow.

“And? Was he good?”

“I’m thinking about calling him again sometime this week so yeah.”

“But he’s a journalist,” Caleb repeated. “Journalists can’t be trusted.”

“The only thing I’m sharing with him is dirty talk,” Kelsey reminded him. “I’ll be fine.”

Caleb opened his mouth to retort but all three of you turned your heads when the doorbell rang.

“Uh…” Caleb said. “Were we expecting anyone?”

“Not me. Birdie?”

“Nope.”

Caleb stood up, Kelsey and you following him suit and he made his way to the door to look through the peephole.

“What the fuck?” he muttered and turned to you. “It’s your father.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach. “What?”

“Do I—do I open it?” he whispered while you tried to control the panic churning your insides, taking a shaky breath and willing yourself to think clear.

There was no way your father could know what happened last night.

No fucking way.

You nodded your head and Caleb opened the door, Kelsey reaching out to squeeze your arm in an attempt to assure you as two bodyguards walked into the apartment, your father soon joining them.

“Hi Pumpkin.”

“Dad.” You tried to keep your voice calm. “What are you doing here?”

“You haven’t answered my calls or my texts the whole day.”

Shit.

“Oh—” You cleared your throat. “Yeah, my battery died.”

He hummed, his eyes darting around the living room. “You don’t have a couch?”

“Um…”

“We’re following the minimalism trend,” Kelsey came to your aid while Caleb nodded.

“Yeah, we’re against the uh—consumerism culture and everything. We watched a tiktok documentary.”

Your father raised his brows.

“Interesting,” he commented. “And do you guys happen to have a place in this…cozy apartment where we can talk in private?”

You motioned at your door and walked to your room with him following you, then closed the door after him.

“I don’t remember telling you where I lived,” you said and he gave you a reprimanding look.

“Honey.”

You crossed your arms, leaning back to the door. “Right. Stupid question.”

“This place is a shoebox—you know you and your friends can move into one of my condos, right?”

“That’s not happening.”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t understand this relentless need to make yourself suffer.”

“We’ve been over this, I’m never, ever taking your money,” you told him and he shook his head, heaving a sigh.

“Very well,” he said. “I hope you’re having fun with your protest against consumerism, whatever that means.”

“Why are you here?”

“I told you,” he said. “You haven’t been answering your phone.”

“And I told you—”

“Your battery died, yes,” he cut you off. “Doesn’t sound like you, for some reason.”

You licked your lips and cleared your throat.

“Yeah I was just—I was working,” you stammered. “I didn’t even notice the time, and then me and Caleb and Kels were drinking so I just didn’t check it.”

He hummed. “Working on what?”

“Gray’s bill.” You didn’t even hesitate. “Clean energy.”

He nodded his head, then reached out to take Blinky into his hand and walked around in the room with slow, deliberate steps. You hated how he always managed to make every room he was in look like he owned it, like he was this unstoppable force that no one could argue with.

And to make things worse, most of the time it was the case.

“I forgot you had this,” he muttered. “What did you name it, Binky?”

“Blinky.”

He let out a huff of laughter.

“You’ve always had a thing for broken things, you know?” he asked. “Broken or damaged in any way. Always thinking your love alone could fix them.”

You were very much aware of where this conversation was going, but you weren’t going to be the one who brought up Bucky.

You had to be very careful not to raise any suspicions.

“You take after your mother on that,” he said with a small chuckle. “When we were young, I’d always think she had too much love in her heart, for anyone and everyone.”

 “It’s not for anyone and everyone,” you corrected him. “All that love she has? It’s only for you, no one else.”

“For you as well.”

You scoffed and shook your head.

“You and I both know that it’s not true,” you said. “You two love each other on a different level. There’s no room for me in that picture other than being an ornament in that whole perfect family bullshit.”

“Everything we do, we do it for you.”

You made a face. “Right. Why are you really here?”

“I thought you’d want to hear it from me that the journalist I mentioned earlier will no longer be a problem.”

Your head shot up and you blinked a couple of times.

“Dad…” you rasped out. “What—what did you do?”

“Don’t worry, he’s alive.”

“Then how did you fix that problem?”

He gave a small chuckle as if he couldn’t believe your naivety.

“Pumpkin,” he said. “You may have unshakable morals, but I’m sorry to tell you that the rest of the world don’t share that sentiment. You just need to throw enough money at them for them to remember their priorities.”

You could feel the relief filling your system and you squeezed your eyes shut before opening them again, running a hand over your forehead.

“Oh,” you muttered. “Bribery. And that was enough?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “As I said. Everyone’s priority is always money.”

“Not everyone.”

“Very few exceptions,” he admitted. “Like my own daughter.”

You nibbled on your lip. “So he won’t write those lies?”

“Him? No.”

You knew that tone. “…But?”

“I can stop the newspapers or sites or the media,” he said. “What I can’t stop is the whispers, Pumpkin.”

“Dad—”

“Look me in the eye and tell me the truth.”

You could feel your heartbeat getting faster as your eyes whipped up to his, the childhood habit of following his every order still lingering at the back of your mind despite you convincing yourself otherwise. If it were any other time, you would’ve snapped at him but considering what happened last night, you had to play along so that he wouldn’t be able to tell you were lying.

“Nothing is going on between me and Bucky.” Your voice was clear. “I swear on grandpa’s grave.”

In your defense, your grandpa would understand.

He held your gaze in his as if he was trying to read your mind, then nodded slightly.

“Good,” he said. “My daughter will not be used and discarded by anyone, let alone Bucky goddamn Barnes.”

That right there was bait.

He was waiting for you to take it, to argue with him about how Bucky wouldn’t use or discard you, or how you could take care of yourself, but you managed to hold yourself back.

You needed him to believe you.

“I respect him, and I think you should too,” you said, your voice completely calm. “He would never do that, but it doesn’t mean I would get involved with him romantically. I know how it goes in this line of work; the girl gets branded, the guy walks away unharmed—”

“He wouldn’t walk away unharmed.”

Your stomach flipped at the stern tone of his voice and you blinked a couple of times.

“Either way,” you managed to say. “I’m too smart to fall for that trap.”

No you weren’t.

As Hazel had once put it, you were the idiot with a schoolgirl crush.

“I know you are,” he said. “But I’ve seen how he looks at you. I just want to make sure he’s not messing with your head.”

“I’m a grown woman, father,” you growled, trying to convince both him and your own insecurities. “No one is messing with my head, especially when it comes to my choices or my career.”

His brows shot up like he was impressed by your reaction.

“Understood,” he said. “Well, I’d better leave you and your friends to continue with your night. Your mother is probably wondering where I’ve been.”

“Tell her I said hi,” you said and took a step as he reached the door. “And um—thank you. I know you did it for your own name and not me, but I appreciate the help.”

That made him pause at the door before he turned around to look at you, and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought you had taken him by surprise.

“What?” you asked and he shook his head.

“Is that what you think?” he asked with a chuckle. “I’m doing this for my own name and not for you?”

“Well, yeah?” you said like a question. “No offense but your name and your legacy and everything, I’m beneath all that in the hierarchy pyramid or whatever. Why else would you do it?”

“Pumpkin,” he said patiently. “I’m very much aware of how you see your mother and I, but you are blinded by this…this picture you conjured in your mind, what you made yourself believe. You want to know why I’m doing this? It’s because as much as you hate it, you’re my daughter, and I love you, and my job is to protect you.”

Confusion pulled your brows together while you stared at him and he heaved a sigh, then pinched the bridge of his nose and took a step closer to you.

“You understand how this game works much better than most, despite your desperate need to make the world a better place. I’m not going to stop you.”

The reaction was almost automatic: “You couldn’t if you tried.”

“And I’m not trying,” he told you with a small smile. “But let me tell you something, as smart as you are –and you are incredibly smart—, you tend to overlook certain things.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Which are?”

 “You see, a lot of people assume people in power are the ones they can see,” he said. “But I think you and I both know it’s the people who aren’t on the stage who pull the strings.”

You gritted your teeth. “Like you.”

“Like me,” he admitted. “So here’s how it’s going to go. You did very well in Barnes’ campaign, and I admit, he did well too. And he can play the politician all he wants, but he’s not gonna last in politics.”

“Why not?” you asked tersely. “Because let me guess, you’ll make sure—”

“I’m not going to do anything,” he said. “I don’t have to do anything. It’s not in him, Pumpkin. The guy is not a politician. He’s a soldier. A superhero.” He paused for a second. “Or a vigilante. I don’t know, he likes crossing that line a lot. The point is, right now, he’s playing pretend.”

“He’s—”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” he cut you off. “But sooner or later, he’s going to realize it’s not enough for him.”

“You don’t know him.”

“I don’t have to know him,” he told you. “As I said, it’s fine. It’s his life and his career, he can do whatever the fuck he wants as long as his actions affect only him. But you?” He pointed at you. “When you enter the picture, things change.”

You pressed your lips together, keeping your eyes on him.

“Forget about my name, and my legacy, and whatever you made yourself believe is more important than you,” he said. “The moment Bucky Barnes makes the mistake of throwing my daughter to the wolves, I’ll pull every single string to make sure his days with HYDRA look like a nostalgic funfair to him.”

You blinked up at him, your heartbeat getting faster as you tried to pull yourself together and he gave you a calm smile, then pressed a kiss on top of your head.

“But of course, this is all hypothetical considering nothing is going on between you two,” he said. “Don’t drink too much, there’s work tomorrow. I’ll tell your mother you said hi.”

With that, he walked out of the room and you forced yourself to snap out of the stunned disbelief pinning you to your spot, then rushed out of your room to go to the living room after him.

“My apologies for the interruption, kids,” your father told Kelsey and Caleb, then motioned at the pillows on the floor. “Please do let me know if you start uh…start supporting consumerism again. You’re not mercenaries staying at a hideout, you shouldn’t look the part.”

He left your apartment with his bodyguards following him, the door closing behind them with a click and Caleb ran a hand through his hair.

“We really need to buy a couch.”

“Forget the couch,” Kelsey said and turned to you while you stared at the door, your thoughts storming in your head. “Birdie? What was that about?”

You scoffed a bitter huff of laughter, then shook your head.

“A warning,” you managed to say through frozen lips. “That was a warning.”

 

 

Chapter 15: Whim

Summary:

Misunderstandings can cause issues.

You couldn’t even decide on the reason why you were so on edge at this point.

Maybe it was your secret relationship.

Maybe it was the fact that your father, who had half of the Congress in his pocket, had threatened your secret boyfriend.

Maybe it was the fact that you knew if the said relationship came out, you would be torn to pieces.

Or maybe you were drinking too much coffee.

You tried to balance the coffee cup tray on your arm while you checked your emails on your phone with your other hand, humming a song to yourself and making your way down the hallway to Bucky’s office. You quickly typed in your response, rolling your eyes and stepped into the office, then made a beeline to Kelsey’s desk past Tim and Lisa’s.

“Here you go,” you said, putting the tray on her desk so that you could take out her cup of coffee and yours. “Considering you didn’t come home last night, I’m guessing it was a long night.”

“And a fun one,” she said, her gaze drifting to the corner of the room. “Speaking of fun, promise me you won’t overreact.”

You took a sip of your coffee. “Hm?”

“And that you’ll give him a chance.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Hi ma’am!” A voice came from the corner of the room, making you look over your shoulder. The young guy at the corner couldn’t be older than twenty and he was holding a file to his chest, an excited smile lighting up his face. “Thank you so much for the opportunity, I promise you won’t regret it.”

You blinked a couple of times. “Um…hello, who are you?”

“I’m Brian,” he said, rushing to shake your hand but tripping over the strap of his satchel on the floor in the process. “Sorry! Cong—Congressman Barnes hired me to be your intern.”

“He’s adorable, I want to give him chocolate and wrap him in a blanket,” Kelsey commented while you gawked at him.

“Sorry, what?”

“Birdie, don’t overreact,” Kelsey reminded you and you took a deep breath, irritation making your jaw clench.

“Excuse me for a moment, Brian,” you said through your teeth and made your way to Bucky’s office, knocked on the door, stepped inside and closed the door behind you. Bucky’s head shot up, a smile pulling at his lips as he stood up.

“Morning darling.”

You had to remind yourself not to melt as he approached you to pull you closer, but you forced yourself to pull back, making him tilt his head in confusion.

“Is everything okay?”

“Nope.” You pointed at the door. “You hired an intern for me?”  

Realization dawned on his face and he ran a hand through his hair.

“Okay, before you say no—”

“I am saying no.”

“We talked about this.”

“You talked about this.”

“I gave you two options,” he reminded you. “Time off or this. You chose this.”

“Yeah and we said I’d give the okay!”

“And you didn’t give the okay to any of them,” he said patiently. “I gave you a stack of resumes, you looked me in the eye and pushed them off the desk into the trash can. I’m half convinced Alpine learned that trick from you.”

“So your solution was to—to—” You flailed your arms. “To intern trap me?”

“Intern trap you?”

“It’s like baby trapping me but worse.”

He rubbed his forehead like confusion was giving him a headache. “That’s not a thing—how is that worse?”

“I can follow my parents’ example and give the baby to a goddamn nanny!” You snapped, stomping on your foot. “Who am I gonna give the intern to?”

“No one,” he said. “He’s here to help you with the workload.”

You shook your head. “I don’t need help.”

“I’m not risking another panic attack, sweetheart.”

“I’m not gonna have a panic attack!” you hissed. “I can handle the workload.”

“I’m not saying you can’t—”

“You are saying I can’t!” you insisted. “Assign him to someone else.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, the familiar insecurities churning your stomach again as you scoffed a laugh, pacing in the room.

“Bucky,” you said, trying your hardest to stay calm. “I can’t have people think I’m incompetent—”

“No one is going to think that,” he told you. “There are so many people who have interns.”

“Yeah, incompetent people who can’t do their own jobs!”

“Just give him a chance,” Bucky said. “You might like him. You don’t even have to give him anything to do on his first day, just give him a tour or something.”

“A tour?” you repeated and went to the door to swing it open, then leaned back to the doorframe. “Brian, would you like a tour of the Capitol?”

He nodded his head like an excited puppy. “Yeah!”

“Great.” You pointed at the entrance. “There’s the door, you can just—”

You were cut off when Bucky said your name, the serious tone of his voice making you frown at him, and as if on cue Congressman Riley walked through the entrance.

“Good morning,” he said. “Barnes, you’ve got a moment?”

Bucky stole a look at you, then nodded at him.

“Uh, sure.”

“Hi there.” Congressman Riley greeted you as he stepped into Bucky’s office and you forced yourself to smile at him.

“Hello sir,” you said and turned to Bucky. “Before I forget, Mr. Barnes, I’m afraid I won’t be staying after hours today, but if you need any assistance with the packet, you can contact anyone else on the team.”

He was smart enough to understand what you were referring to and he blinked a couple of times. “I was under the impression we would work on that together.”

“Oh, not this evening I’m afraid, I have this mental health thing I need to attend to,” you said, your voice completely professional. “It was on the calendar, has it escaped your notice?”

“Let the girl go, Barnes,” Congressman Riley joked. “She has a health thing. I can lend you someone from my team for the evening.”

Bucky raised his brows at you, and you smiled at him.

“Have a wonderful day,” you said and walked out of the office, with Brian rushing after you to catch up with you.

“Ma’am?”

“Come on,” you told him. “Time for your tour, I guess.”

---

For the record, you were aware that Brian wasn’t to blame.

The guy, as Kelsey had put it, was kind of adorable. He hung onto your every word, he was excited to be in the Capitol, he was apparently a genius and you could already tell that he was hardworking.

He wasn’t the problem. You were.

Your head was swirling with insecurities, the ones that you knew were nonsense but still couldn’t stop. The idea of not being good at your job, the idea of people seeing your shortcomings such as your inability to cope with stress in the form of a panic attack, the idea of being replaceable; they all made a terrific combination to sink your stomach and fill you with fury.

Did Bucky actually think you weren’t going to be able to focus and do your goddamn job now that you two were dating? Was this his way of letting you down gently and take away your responsibilities one by one, thinking that you wouldn’t be able to recognize what was happening?

Maybe this was the first step of changing your position in the Congress; finding someone that you could teach the ropes, and then putting him where you were.

Your eyes were darting over the same line for what felt like the hundredth time when you heard someone pull the chair across from yours and plop down, making your head shoot up.

“Is this take your kid to work day?” Lucas grinned, jerking his head in Brian’s direction. “Or a school trip?”

You sulked. “Very funny.”

“What is your name, Victorian orphan?”

“I’m Brian.” Brian quickly extended his hand to shake Lucas’s. “It’s an honor, sir. And I graduated college this year actually, but I got accepted when I was sixteen, that’s why I look younger than other interns.”

Lucas turned to you. “Are we breaking any child labor laws by employing him?”

“No sir, I’m nineteen—”

“Don’t take him seriously,” you told Brian. “Brian, this is Lucas. Lucas, Brian is my intern. He’s gonna be uh…around.”

“You’ve got an intern?” Lucas asked with a small laugh. “Whoa, maybe I should apply to work for Barnes. I’ve been begging Gray for an intern for like a year.”

“I’m very grateful for the opportunity,” Brian said breathlessly. “Seriously, I—it’s been my dream since I was a kid.”

“Adorable and a genius.” Lucas pointed at you with his thumb. “Your mentor scared the shit out of an Executive Assistant on her first week, and I’ve seen her bring an adult man to the verge of tears when he tried to pull rank on her. She’s gonna eat you alive, welcome to politics.”

“Again, don’t listen to him.”

Lucas lowered his voice as if he was giving Brian a secret. “There’s a reason we call her Hurricane on Heels.”

“Brian you’re not gonna be calling me that, and Lucas, stop hazing my intern.”

“This brings back memories though,” Lucas said with a smile. “Do you remember your first internship?”

You groaned. “Yep. I still have everyone’s coffee orders memorized.”

“I was summoned to bring condoms to my boss’s place in the middle of the night,” he muttered, making you let out a laugh.

“There was this one time, they sent me to the archive and I had to sort out all the documents in the last decade and put them in chronological order,” you said. “I didn’t go home that weekend, basically showered with my deodorant, and Max—my boyfriend back then— had to bring new clothes to the firm so that I could look presentable on Monday.”

“We’re not gonna do that to you, interns aren’t allowed in the archives,” Lucas motioned at Brian. “You’d better memorize everyone’s coffee orders though. Or condom preferences.”

“You don’t have to do any of that,” you told him. “You’re here to learn the job, not to be anyone’s butler. If anyone else other than me tries to give you any work, you come and tell me, alright?”

Lucas hummed. “Look at you breaking the trauma chain.”

“It’s no problem, I can—I can bring coffee or…condoms, ma’am,” Brian said, making you grimace.

“I’m not gonna ask you to do that, Brian,” you said while Lucas chuckled. “Neither will anyone else at the office. And stop calling me ma’am.”

Lucas drummed his fingers on the desk. “See, this is why people will vote for you when you run for office, Hurricane. No one will have anything bad to say about you.”

You raised your brows. “I’m not gonna run for office.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve been told I don’t look good in pantsuits,” you deadpanned. “Did you see the revisions I sent you?”

“Mm hm. I sent you an email on Sunday, you didn’t get back.”

You licked your lips.

“Yeah my…my phone was acting weird, I had to get it fixed.”

“Here I was thinking you were enjoying your Sunday away from your phone,” he joked and you shot him a look.

“Have you met me?”

“Yep. Exactly why I sent you that email on a Sunday, you workaholic.”

“Takes one to know one, Lucas.”

He leaned back on his chair. “Speaking of work,” he said. “I need your help with something.”

“The clean energy bill?”

“Nope,” he said. “A buddy of mine is working on this Constituent Outreach Packet, I have no idea why Lawrence gave him that but I promised him I’d help him out but it never hurts to have someone else look it over.”

You took a look at your schedule, then shrugged your shoulders.

“Sure.”

“You’re an angel,” Lucas said, letting out a breath. “I’m serious, I’m buying you dinner sometime.”

You scoffed a laugh at the mental image of Bucky hearing that.

“Don’t intimidate my intern and we’ll call it even,” you brushed him off as you grabbed your files and stood up. “Come on Brian. You can sit and observe while we work.” 

---

Focusing your whole attention on the packets and bills and revisions had worked, at least until you left the Capitol. You had made sure to stay away from Bucky’s way and didn’t drop by the office for the entire day; opting to go straight home instead.

Yet, now that you were alone with your thoughts, you were way too restless. You had tried to distract yourself but nothing helped with the uncomfortable sinking in your stomach, or the spiraling in your mind.

And to make today even more fun, you had a stress headache.

Even though you knew you were being nonsense and that Bucky would never plan to push you out of the picture, that stupid voice in your head refused to shut the fuck up, so here you were, simmering in your bed with your eyes closed in an attempt to soothe the headache. You grimaced when someone knocked on the door and opened it, making you slide deeper into your sheets, pressing your palms on your eyes.

“Caleb, whatever it is, it can wait.”

“We’re gonna have to disagree on that one.” Bucky’s deep voice shot through the quiet room, making you lift your hands from your eyes and sit up straight. Your heartbeat got faster at the sight of his handsome face even though you were still irrationally angry about the intern issue, not even noticing he had his hands behind his back like he was hiding something as you got up from the bed.

“Caleb let you in?”

“Mm hm.”

“Thanks a lot, Brutus!” You called out and heard Caleb’s groan.

“We have been listening to the same Lana Del Rey song for four fucking hours!” he replied. “Enough is enough, I’m like two seconds away from crashing Kelsey’s date just to listen to something else.”

You rolled your eyes and turned to Bucky, but before you could say anything he whipped out a bouquet of flowers behind his back and held them out for you.

Oh dear God, you were actually going to melt.

You couldn’t help but smile, but then your head shot up, panic filling your system.

“Bucky, if any journalist saw you at the door with flowers—”

“I didn’t use the front door.”

You blinked a couple of times. “Come again?”

“I climbed up the fire escape.”

“…You climbed up the fire escape as in the old, half broken death trap on the outer wall?” You pointed at the window and he nodded.

“Yeah. We need to do something about those stairs.”

You tried to resist the urge to fling yourself into his arms, pausing for a second before you took the flowers from him.

“Thank you,” you murmured. “They’re very beautiful.”

He offered you a tightlipped smile.

“Birdie…” he started but you walked past him to make your way through the living room to the kitchen, ignoring Caleb sitting by the kitchen island, snacking and working on something on his laptop. Bucky followed you suit, and out of the corner of your eye you could see him exchange glances with Caleb while you rummaged through the kitchen cabinets.

“Kels brought a vase, where did we put it?”

Caleb pointed at one of the cabinets and grinned. “How come I don’t get flowers, Bucky?”

“The same reason why you don’t have to be here right now,” Bucky said and he frowned.

“Listen, I pay rent so I’m planning on making my money’s worth,” Caleb said as you cut a small part of the stems. “Although, thank you for climbing the fire escape and making my job easier, it would’ve been a bit difficult to explain that pic to the public.”

“Making your job easier was the only thing in my mind,” Bucky deadpanned and Caleb pointed a finger at him.

“Listen here, Congressman Cullen—”

“I don’t even know who that is.”

“She didn’t tell you who Edward Cullen is?”

“She only told me about uh— about Pedro Pascal.”

“I still cannot believe you didn’t know Pedro Pascal before us.”

“I’m not good with pop culture, that’s your job.”

You filled the vase with water, put the flowers into it, picked it up and made your way back to your room with Bucky following you, Caleb calling out after you that he would put his earphones on and turn the volume to max just in case you wanted to make up. Bucky shook his head slightly, closing the door behind him as you put the vase on your small desk.

“Can we talk?”

“Depends,” you said. “Will I be talking to my boss or my boyfriend?”

The look in his eyes was almost reprimanding. “Your boyfriend.”

“Terrific,” you pointed out, crossing your arms. “My boss is being an ass.”

“For doing what you and I already agreed to?” he asked. “You gave me no other choice, Birdie.”

“You had a choice,” you protested. “Not hiring an intern, for example.”

He tilted his head. “Why are you so against this?”

You opened your mouth then closed it again, your lips pulling into a petulant pout as you glared up at him.

“No seriously,” Bucky insisted. “You didn’t react like this to any of the interns who were helping you out during the campaign. What changed?”

“They weren’t helping me out, they were helping the team.”

“I’ve heard them talk about you giving them work numerous times.”

“Well—it—” You threw your hands up in exasperation. “It was different.”

“How?”

“Would you have done this anyway if you and I weren’t dating?” you asked back, making him frown.

“I told you I would do this before I had any idea you reciprocated.”

Anxiety churned your stomach and you ran a hand over your face, leaning back to the small desk.

“Birdie I’m really trying to understand—”

“Are you replacing me?” you cut him off, unable to keep the question in any longer and Bucky let out a scoff of laugh as if you had made a joke in the middle of a very important argument, but a look of realization dawned on his face upon seeing your expression.

“Jesus,” he said after a pause. “You’re serious.”

“No shit I’m serious, Bucky!” you snapped. “What is the plan here? Is this—like, is this your way of letting me down easy? Like, you’re gonna divide my responsibilities and I’ll have to teach people my job so that it’ll be easier to replace me?”

He gawked at you, seemingly at a loss for words which made it easier for you to rant as you paced in the room.

“You don’t think I can handle the pressure because of that stupid panic attack, or things changed because we’re dating so I’ll have to find my successor for a smooth transition in the office, is that it? Diminish the work I do—”

“Whoa, whoa!” Bucky stopped you. “Sweetheart…”

“I don’t know what influenced that decision, being my boss or being my boyfriend but either way, I can take care of myself, and you can’t be my boyfriend at work, not to mention I was working on my career long before I became your girlfriend—”

“I know that,” he assured you. “That’s not what is happening.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Well, it’s not the 1940s anymore, you know?” he joked, his lips twitching into a teasing smile. “You’re a little old fashioned if you think career and relationship have to be counteractive, get with the modern times.”

“So this is about you thinking I can’t handle it because of the panic attack and trying to replace me, and then you—”

He cut you off by leaning down to kiss you, effectively shutting both you and your mind at the same time. His flesh hand cradled the back of your head while his vibranium arm sneaked around your waist, and you melted into his chest, a sigh leaving your lips when he pulled back. His hand slipped from the back of your head to lift your chin gently, your eyes fluttering open, that familiar daze taking over you again.

“Can I defend myself against that very creative theory?” he asked and you pouted with a frown, forcing yourself to focus.

“So you deny it.”

“Vehemently,” he added and a small chuckle vibrated his chest. “Wait, who do you think I’m replacing you with?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged your shoulders. “Brian.”

“So in other words, I’m putting a baby deer into a spaceship cockpit and hoping for the best?”

“He’s a genius—”

“In case it has escaped your attention, so are you darling.”

“I didn’t get accepted into college when I was sixteen though,” you pointed out. “And it doesn’t—it doesn’t have to be Brian. Maybe you’re just dividing my responsibilities until the right candidate comes along.”

He smiled softly. “Or maybe I’d rather resign myself than to replace you?”

You rolled your eyes. “Bucky, I’m serious.”

“So am I,” he told you. “Come on, you know it as well as I do that I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”

“That’s really not true.”

“And the minute you decide to change jobs or quit, I might as well because that won’t work out, and even if it did, I won’t even want to be there. What am I going to do in the Congress if I don’t have you, just hang out?”

“You need to give yourself more credit,” you insisted. “I didn’t win the election, you did.”

“Mm hm. Thanks to whose efforts?”

“The team!”

“The team did a pretty good job but you made the whole thing happen,” he said. “And besides, I don’t…”

You tilted your head when he paused, your anger forgotten. “What?”

“The more time I spend in the Congress, the more I feel like I’m not meant to be there,” he muttered. “Like I’m not meant to be a politician.”

You pulled back a little, your stomach dropping when you remembered your father’s words.

“Bucky…”

“That’s not the point—the point is,” Bucky said, “I didn’t hire Brian to replace you, or undermine you. You know me better than that.”

You couldn’t help but bury your face into his chest just so that you could blink back the tears before he could even see them rushing to your eyes. He nuzzled into your hair, his hand cradling the back of your head again.

“I’m trying to make things easier for you,” he muttered. “Just that, alright? I know you’re very much capable of doing things by yourself, but why did we win the election if you’re still gonna be taking on everything by yourself?”

“So that people will see,” you mumbled into his chest and he hummed.

“People already saw,” he told you. “You’ve proven yourself, sweetheart. You don’t have to go above and beyond, everyone is already impressed.”

You entwined your fingers with his vibranium ones and took a deep breath, his pleasant scent filling your nostrils and soothing the insecurities in your mind almost immediately.

“You should’ve told me,” he said. “Instead of avoiding me all day.”

“I was busy with my intern,” you replied, making him huff out a laugh.

“And the verdict?”

You pulled back a little to look up at him.

“He’s not half bad,” you muttered. “I didn’t even ask you, why did you hire him? I mean, I get that he’s a genius and everything, but why him from all the other resumes?”

“He graduated from the same college as you,” he said. “I figured you’d want to mentor someone whom you have something in common with.”

You could feel a smile warming your face.

“Not to mention, the guy is like a puppy; he’s not gonna be annoying to you,” he added, making you giggle.

“Kels does have a point, one look at him and I want to wrap him in a blanket and give him chocolate.”

“See? Not annoying, that’s a plus.”

You bit inside your cheek, then cleared your throat.

“Very well then,” you said. “I can put him on spellcheck duty for now. And maybe content check of references and footnotes in packet drafts.”

“There we go.”

You pursed your lips, rubbing at your eyes with a frown.

“Sorry,” you mumbled. “About this whole thing. I don’t know why but I have this thing, I keep thinking people will say I’m incompetent and my mind spirals and…”

“Anyone who says that about you won’t get to repeat that, it’s a little hard to say things if all their teeth are broken.”

A laugh climbed your throat. “You can’t be my boyfriend at work.”

“As you keep telling me.” If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve though he was sulking. “That’s the only reason why we wasted time talking about packets yesterday instead of going to a supply closet after the meeting.”

Your eyes widened. “There were other people in the office, Bucky!”

“My point about the supply closet.” He pulled you into a kiss, lifting you off the floor. You let out a squeal that turned into a giggle as you both fell on the bed and he propped himself up on his arm to see you better, the fond light in his eyes making your cheeks burn. His thumb stroked your cheekbone before he pressed his lips to your temple.

“Still quiet?”

You could swear your heart was melting but you managed to nod, then rested your palm on his chest, his strong heartbeat drumming under your hand.

“Still warm?”

You felt him smile.

“Yeah,” he said as you pulled his shirt off his head, his dog tags dangling between you before he leaned down to kiss you, but you grasped the chain of his dog tags, turning your head to look at the door before gazing up at him.

“We’re not alone though,” you whispered, making him smirk at you.

“Think you can be quiet, beautiful?”

You couldn’t help but grin, then tugged at the chain of his dog tags to pull him into a kiss.

 

 

 

Chapter 16: Subtlety

Summary:

Coworkers are supposed to be professional.

This morning was proving to be perfect already.

You dangled your legs off the high stool, resting your chin on your fist while you kept your eyes on Bucky who was by the stove, busy with the pan. Even if you had told him coffee was enough of a breakfast for you, your argument fell on deaf ears so now you were drinking your coffee as he prepared breakfast for you and himself in your small kitchen.

While you were openly ogling him.

You were pulled out of your haze when your phone vibrated with a text from your father, and you bit inside your cheek, typing a quick reply before raising your head.

“Bucky?”

“Hm?”

“Did you mean what you said last night?”

He looked over his shoulder to shoot you a mischievous grin. “You are gonna have to be more specific than that.”

You could feel your cheeks burning as you bit back a smile, forcing yourself to focus.

“When you…” you trailed off. “When you said you aren’t meant to be a politician?”

That made him pause for a second before he turned to look at you better.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just know that things are moving too slow. In the Congress, or in the politics for that matter.”

“Well, you can’t change the world in only a couple of months.”

“But that’s the problem, it feels like I haven’t even done anything in these couple of months,” he told you. “Everyone in the Congress is taking their sweet time.”

“That’s how bureaucracy works,” you assured him as Caleb’s door opened. “It’ll take time, it doesn’t mean you won’t get stuff done. You’ll just need to be patient.”

 “Are those pancakes?” Caleb asked as he came to pull himself a stool. “That’s awesome! Are they blueberry or chocolate chip ones?”

“They’re not for you,” Bucky said and Caleb gasped dramatically.

“But I’m hungry!”

“Caleb—” you started but Kelsey’s door opened, she peeked her head out to wave at you, and then closed the door again. You stole a look at Caleb.

“What is going on with Kels?”

“I don’t know, but I want pancakes,” Caleb insisted. “Bucky, what do you expect me to do, pass out from hunger? Who’s gonna be your communications director then?”

Bucky opened his mouth to retort, but you all turned your heads when Kelsey stepped out and pulled a blindfolded guy out of her bedroom.

“Babe, this is kind of a weird way to leave your place.”

“Blindfolds are my kink,” Kelsey answered as she led him to the door. “It just turns me on, you have no idea.”

Bucky pulled his brows together while Caleb chuckled, going to the counter to fill himself a cup of coffee.

“But we’re not even gonna have sex?” the guy said and Kelsey nodded.

“It’s still a kink, not all kinks have to lead to something,” she said and opened the door, then pushed him outside. “I’ll call you, okay? Keep the blindfold.”

She closed the door and turned to give Bucky a bright smile.

“We’re having pancakes? Awesome!”

“Okay to repeat; I’m making my girlfriend pancakes, not you two.”

“So what, we don’t get pancakes because we’re not dating you? That’s illegal or something.”

“It really isn’t—” He heaved a sigh in defeat when you pulled your brows together to shoot him a pleading look. “Fine. Sit down, Kelsey.”

“Kels, do you want coffee?”

“Yes please!” she said and jumped to sit on the stool next to you. “Morning Birdie.”

“Morning Kels.”

“I can’t wait until you’re president and I can write about this in my memoir,” Kelsey told Bucky while he put a pancake on your plate to give it to you, then grabbed two other plates and poured more pancake mix on the pan.

“I’m not gonna run for president, and you’re not writing a memoir.”

“His hair was tousled because of last night’s activities,” Kelsey mused while Caleb chuckled and put Kelsey’s coffee mug in front of her, then sipped his own. “The tormented look in his eyes seemed calmer now, as if the morning came with—”

“Tormented look in my eyes?”

“Shush Bucky—as if the morning came with promises of peace. As he walked around the kitchen, half naked…”

“I’m fully clothed,” Bucky defended himself, motioning at his shirt and jeans, and Caleb shook his head.

“Artistic license. Sex sells. Keep going Kelsey.”

You covered the giggle threatening to escape you by clearing your throat, and dug into your pancakes.

“The tattoo on his back—”

“I don’t have tattoos.”

“And whose fault is that, Bucky?” she retorted. “The tattoo on his back caught my attention, and he turned around as if he was taken aback—”

“Please stop narrating me,” Bucky said, putting her plate in front of her and she grinned up at him.

“Only because you asked nicely.”

You pointed at Kelsey with your fork. “That would be a bestseller.”

“Stop encouraging her, Birdie.”

“I’m a supportive friend!”

“Maybe after your book we can buy a couch.” Caleb took his plate from Bucky, making his head whip up.

“I was going to ask you that,” he said. “Why don’t you have a couch?”

You threw your hands up in exasperation. “A couch is a big commitment, okay?”

“…It’s just furniture.”

“It’s something we’re gonna see all the time,” you argued. “What if we walk in one day and decide we hate it? It’s a risk, so we need to take our time to figure out what kind of couch we want.”

“Not to mention, we have more important expenses,” Caleb added. “Such as alcohol and candles.”

Bucky stared at you.

“I just realized I have no idea what I’m paying you guys,” he said. “Do you need a raise? You do need a raise, right?”

“I mean I wasn’t gonna mention it but there is someone in this room who put in a lot of work last night for a raise.”

Kelsey’s jaw dropped. “Whoa!”

“Dude!” you exclaimed and Bucky glared at him.

“Caleb, you have two seconds to apologize—”

“What? No, I meant me!” Caleb waved his hands in the air. “Me! I barely slept last night because I was trying to come up with an excuse as to why Birdie will be hanging out with you this weekend when those whispers start.”

You looked between them. “What’s happening this weekend?”

“I forgot to tell you yesterday,” Bucky said. “Sarah is throwing a dinner party and Sam mentioned the boys were saying they missed me, so I figured maybe we could go to New York for the weekend.”

“Ah, sure!” you said and turned to Caleb. “What will you say to people?”

“That it was a team thing and all three of us were there,” he replied. “Which, we will have to be. Kels?”

“I’m totally fine with that, I missed New York a lot.”

“So did I,” Caleb said. “Also I’m offended, Birdie. I would never imply that.”

“I know.” You pouted and reached out to squeeze his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“If anything, it’s Bucky who deserves a raise, because what I’ve heard last night—”

“Caleb, I’m gonna lose my shit on you,” you deadpanned while Kelsey grinned, and Bucky shook his head with a sigh. Caleb held up his hands.

“Just saying,” he muttered. “Hey, do we have syrup for the pancakes?”

---

The rest of the week passed way too fast. There were still many things to do by the time you went to New York, and if it was another time you would’ve worked at Sarah’s place but as Bucky had said, the boys had missed him so you didn’t want to keep interrupting them with work.

Which meant you, Bucky, Caleb and Kelsey had to work at Sam’s place until it was time to go to Sarah’s for the dinner party. When Sam walked into his place, you were going over the financial report Congressman Murray’s team had sent you and taking notes, Bucky was reading another file that Congressman Riley had sent him, Kelsey was working on her laptop and Caleb was busy with his phone. Sam flung himself on the couch and Kelsey stole a look at him, then returned to her laptop.

“Hey, are you guys done?” he asked. “Sarah says most of the neighbors are arriving in like half an hour.”

“I’m ready for it to be done, does that count?” Bucky ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus, this thing is like one thousand pages.”

“Try making a sense of your schedule,” Kelsey told him. “I’d take reading a packet over this right now. You’re not allowed to sleep next week, just so you know.”

Bucky raised his coffee cup as if mocking a toast and turned to you.

“How is it going for you?”

“I’m going to kill whoever wrote this report,” you muttered through your teeth without taking your eyes off the page. “The whole team. I can’t even get to the next page, the references make zero sense.”

Sam hummed. “Does anyone want anything to drink before we go? I’ve got beer?”

“That’d be amazing, thank you Mr. Wilson.”

“Not for me, thank you.”

“I can have one.”

“Not me, thank you Sam.”

Sam went to the kitchen to grab three beers, then came back to hand one to Bucky, one to Caleb and uncapped his own to sit down on the couch again.

“Why is this goddamn café not sharing any pictures?” Caleb grumbled, making both you and Kelsey groan at the same time.

“Jesus Christ!”

“I am going to slam my head on my laptop and hope it gives me a concussion, I swear to God…”

Sam looked between you. “What’s going on?”

“These two are being terrible friends, that’s what’s going on.” Caleb gestured at you and Kelsey, making you narrow your eyes.

“You’ve been whining about this barista for the last three days!”

“It feels like three months.”

“He saw a barista at this coffee shop near Capitol three days ago,” Bucky explained. “He didn’t get his number, so now we all have to suffer because he refuses to go there to see him again.”

“I can’t!”

You turned to Sam. “When we first won the election I thought I’d be witnessing the making of laws, being in rooms with so many important people and changing the world and such. You know what happened instead? Yesterday, the commandant of the Marine Corps turned to me and asked; ‘Can you make your friend shut the fuck up about the barista?’ Mind you, this is a man who was trained to withstand warfare, he lasted like merely half an hour in a room with Caleb and his obsession.”

“He was exaggerating!”

“He didn’t look half as uncomfortable when Kelsey accidentally opened a dick pic from her soon to be boyfriend in front of him, that’s saying something!”

Kelsey’s eyes widened as Sam started laughing.

“Pump the breaks, he’s not gonna be my boyfriend!”

“I left you alone for five seconds.” Bucky stared at Kelsey who waved a hand in the air dismissively.

“It was an accident, and as Birdie said—it doesn’t matter, he won’t be my boyfriend.”

“He stayed over twice now.”

“So has Bucky.”

“Well yeah but Bucky is—” You turned to him. “We’re still dating, right?”

Bucky blinked a couple of times. “…Yeah?”

“Bucky is my boyfriend.”

Sam raised his brows. “You had to ask?”

“You never know,” you muttered. “And Kels, the fact that you’re not kicking him out after sex means something.”

“It means I’m too lazy to kick him out, there’s a huge difference between a guy who’s boyfriend material and a guy who you don’t mind spending the night with.”

Bucky tilted his head. “What’s the difference?”

“A boyfriend is someone you like having sex with and spending time outside the bed with,” Kelsey said. “This guy is just convenient. I’d drop him in a second if Sam asked me out, for example.”

Sam’s head shot up in surprise and he blinked a couple of times as if trying to wrap his mind around the idea while Bucky pulled his brows together, looking between them.

“Whoa, Kels…” Sam said as you bit back a grin at the look of complete shock on his face. “I’m flattered, but you’re in your 20s and—”

“Oh please don’t tell me you’re gonna give me the age excuse when these two are here.” Kelsey gestured at you and Bucky, making your jaw drop.

“Why am I being thrown under the bus?”

“The guy could’ve dated your grandmother, I feel like it is relevant to this conversation if that’s the only obstacle between me and Sam—”

“I already asked for a full list of everyone he slept with back in the 40s,” you argued while Bucky ran a hand over his face. “My grandmother is not there.”

That seemed to have pulled Sam out of his shock. “Seriously?”

“Legend has it she was quite fast,” you muttered, and Caleb checked his phone again.

“What if I never see him again?”

“What if you had the guts to go to that café again?” you grumbled and Caleb pointed a finger at you.

“What if he turns me down? What if he’s in a relationship? What if he’s a secret spy who can’t date civilians?”

“I’m just gonna go back to the report while you talk nonsense if that’s okay,” you said while Sam sipped his beer and Bucky pushed the file away from himself, but as soon as your eyes fell on the next line, you felt the anger spark back into life. “Motherfucker!”

“Birdie, how about—”

“Who wrote this?” you exclaimed, slamming your pen on the page. “No seriously, did they hire a first grader? Who the fuck wrote this report—you know what? New plan. Me and Kels and Caleb dress up as Three Ghosts of Christmas and visit the other congress people in their homes so that they’ll back up this packet. It’d be more effective than whatever abomination this financial report is supposed to be.”

“I call dibs on Porthos,” Caleb said, “he was the hot one right?”

“Aramis was the hot one,” Kelsey replied while Bucky and Sam exchanged glances, and you clicked your tongue.

“Porthos was the fashionable one I think.”

“Fashionable is hot.”

“Eh, debatable.”

“I can’t believe I’m willingly becoming a part of this conversation, but those are Three Musketeers, not Three Ghosts of Christmas.” Bucky deadpanned and you tilted your head.

“Are you sure?”

“Baby, Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol,” he said patiently. “Why would he name his characters French?”

“Why do British do anything?” you asked back and Caleb grinned at Bucky.

“Did you know him?”

“Did I know Dickens?” Bucky repeated with a straight face while Sam stifled a laugh. “No, Caleb. I did not know the famous Victorian author Charles Dickens who was born in the early 19th century.”

“Athos, Porthos, Aramis.” Kelsey counted with her fingers. “Wasn’t there a fourth musketeer?”

“D’artagnan, and he wasn’t a musketeer,” Sam said, still trying to control his expression. “Didn’t you three graduate from Ivy League? Top of your classes?”

“I had a 4.0 GPA but not in literature,” Kelsey said. “Uh, what were the names of the ghosts then?”

“They didn’t have names, Kelsey.”

“What, Dickens didn’t bother naming them?”

“Okay, that settles it.” Bucky snatched the report from your hands. “We’re done for the day, okay? Nothing any of you say makes sense at this point.”

“Yeah, and Sarah is waiting.” Sam downed his beer and stood up, Kelsey and Caleb following him suit, and Bucky tugged you by the arm gently while you hung onto the edge of the table.

“Wait no, I need to finish this page!”

“Nope.” He pried your fingers off the table and helped you up. “Come on. Enough work, let’s go.”

---

You really liked spending time with Sarah and her friends. As Sam had informed you before, their parents were prominent figures in their neighborhood, always running to anyone’s help in any way they could, and apparently Sarah had followed their footsteps. You could tell she was a very important figure in everyone’s life, they both loved her and respected her and her family.

So the dinner party was a success as usual, and as midnight approached, everyone left one by one. You and Bucky had kept your distance in front of everyone, acting as if you were friendly coworkers even with his jacket draped over your shoulders, and Caleb had asked you to be careful before he left with Kelsey to their –and your- favorite club back when you still lived there. The only people left in the garden besides you were Sam, Sarah, AJ and Cass, but you and Bucky weren’t going to act like a couple in front of Cass and AJ just in case, so you both kept up appearances while Cass told you about his favorite comic book excitedly and AJ played with his tablet, showing Bucky and Sam how to strategize, Sarah watching his sons with a soft smile.

“So the idea is to get out of the castle?” Bucky asked and AJ nodded.

“Well, you’re a knight and you’re supposed to find the treasure, storm the castle and then get out.”

“And I can use fire?”

“Depends. You need to gather the stones first, and also you need to kill the dragon and save the princess, then you get fire skills.”

“Then I save the next princess?” Sam asked and AJ nodded.

“Well yeah,” he said. “There is a princess in every level.”

“And then, the villain kidnaps his girlfriend!” Cass told you, making you gasp.

“No!”

“Yes!”

“And then what happens?”

“Well he—okay so, he needs to find his team.” He pointed at the page and you leaned down to see the characters better. “And he does, and the team finds his girlfriend, but he breaks up with her.”

You made a face. “Why?”

“To keep her safe of course,” he said. “But then! Then she starts dating someone else in his team!”

“That’s a terrible idea.”

“Yeah!”

“But let me guess, she’s heartbroken.”

“So is he!” Cass insisted. “He didn’t want to break up with her.”

“Then he should’ve told her the reason why.” Sarah told him while you nodded. “Honesty is very important.”

“Exactly.”

“I feel like keeping his girlfriend safe is more important,” Bucky pointed out and you rolled your eyes at him.

“She can keep herself safe.”

“He just said she got kidnapped.”

“Because he wasn’t honest with her from the beginning, keep up,” you told him. “Sarah is right, honesty is the key here.”

Cass looked down at the page, then looked up at you.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked curiously, making Bucky’s lips twitch into a grin. Sam stifled a chuckle and Sarah raised her brows, looking between you and Bucky.

“Yeah Miss Honesty, do you?” Bucky teased you and you scrunched up your nose at him, then turned to Cass.

“Well yeah, but he is being kind of too arrogant for his own good so I’m not introducing him to anyone yet.”

A look of exaggerated betrayal crossed Bucky’s handsome features and Sarah let out a laugh while AJ frowned.

“But why are you dating an arrogant guy?”

“What would he do if a villain kidnapped you?”

“Burn the world down,” Bucky answered Cass’ question, making you bite back a smile and Sarah let out a laugh.

“Come on boys,” she said, standing up. “Time for bed.”

“But mom!”

“Can we stay up a little longer?”

“Nope. Come on, we talked about this.”

“Can Uncle Sam tuck us in?”

“He absolutely can buddy,” Sam said, standing up as well. “Let’s go.”

“Say good night, boys.”

“Good night!”

They hugged you and Bucky before following Sam and Sarah into the house, and you got up from your seat to get the water bottle on the other side of the small table but as soon as you did, Bucky grabbed your hand and pulled you down for you to sit in his lap sideways. You let out a laugh, a fire burning your face.

“Bucky!” you exclaimed, your head whipping around to check whether anyone could see you and he grinned.

“Everyone went to bed, and there are no journalists on the roofs.”

“My father happens to own a satellite.”

“I’ll take my chances,” he muttered, stealing a kiss from you. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you whispered before leaning in to kiss him again, raking your nails over his stubble. His piercing blue eyes closed in bliss for a moment before they opened again, the soft light shining in them making your heart skip a beat.

“You okay?” he asked as he helped you readjust his jacket over your shoulders, running his hand up and down your arm. “Still cold?”

You shook your head. “Nope, I’m fine now. Thank you.”

He entwined his fingers with yours, then took a deep breath.

“So, I need to ask you a question,” he said. “It’s been bothering me the entire day.”

You tried to ignore the familiar anxiety flipping your stomach and licked your lips.

“What is it?”

“You seriously haven’t read A Christmas Carol?”

A huff of laughter climbed your chest and you pushed at his arm while he gave you a proud grin.

“No?” he insisted. “Never?”

“I watched the movie.”

“The movie doesn’t count—that book is a classic.”

“In my defense, it wasn’t in my library probably because I was in fact raised by Ebenezer Scrooge.”

“Still no excuse. It’s Dickens.”

You scrunched up your nose. “A deal breaker, huh?”

“I just don’t know how we’re gonna get over that one, Birdie,” he teased you back, but his grin faded slightly as his eyes searched your face. You were quite familiar with picking up even the smallest clues when it came to his expression, so you could already tell he was in deep thought by the way his brows furrowed.

“What is it?” you asked and he licked his lips, then cleared his throat.

“Speaking of deal breakers,” he said. “Uh…hypothetical question.”

“Hm?”

“What would you say if I told you I’m not sure I’ll be running again after this term?”

Your eyes snapped up to his, your father’s voice echoing in your mind before you forced yourself to snap out of it and focus on Bucky.

“I’d say it’s your life,” you said softly and he shook his head.

“You are a huge part of my life,” he insisted. “I want this to be a choice for both of us, not just me.”

A pleasant warmth filled your chest and you played with the hair at the nape of his neck, trying to find the right words.

“Is this you asking me if I’d still be with you if you didn’t run again?” you asked. “Because I think you know the answer to that question.”

“Which would be…?”

“It doesn’t matter what you do.”

Fondness gleamed in his eyes. “Doesn’t it?”

“Nope. I’ll still be in love with you whether you’re a congressman or—or I don’t know, a DJ or something.”

He made a face. “No thank you, I’ve heard what you guys call music in those clubs of yours.”

“In those clubs of ours?” you said with a giggle. “Wow. If you’re gonna be talking like that, I’ll have to get you a rocking chair and a pipe.”

“See, I bet your grandmother wouldn’t say that back in the day,” he joked with a grin while you narrowed your eyes at him. “What did you say her name was again?”

You gasped dramatically and poked him in the ribs, coaxing a clear laugh out of him. The sound was so lovely that it made you smile as well before he held your wrist to tug you closer to him so that he could kiss you again, but you pulled back when you heard Sam’s voice.

“Bucky Barnes actually laughs,” he said with a grin as he walked past you to fling himself on the garden sofa. “I guess people are right, love can change a man.”

Sarah slapped him on the arm gently.

“Stop that,” she told him before she sat beside him. “You guys are very cute.”

“Aw thank you!” You beamed at her while Bucky rested his chin on your shoulder, and Sarah motioned at him.

“And just so you know, I told him to make a move ages ago.”

“Oh, we all did.”

“Well, Sarah was right.” Bucky reached out to grab his beer bottle. “Not you, Sam.”

Sam stared at him. “We told you the same thing.”

“Sarah has a different way of saying it,” Bucky defended himself before he tilted the bottle slightly to offer it to you. You took him from him to take a sip, then gave it back to him.

“The dinner party was amazing, by the way,” you told Sarah. “Thank you so much for having me here as well.”

Sarah scoffed, waving a dismissive hand in the air. “Don’t mention it, you’re family now.”

The simple sentence was enough to make your throat tighten when you were overcome with emotion, and you found yourself playing with the sleeves of Bucky’s jacket to distract yourself. You weren’t used to this; your family was, in a lack of better words, not welcoming or warm, so the fact that Sarah told that to you meant more than she knew.

“So, did you miss New York yet?” Sam asked you and you heaved a sigh.

“So much,” you said while Bucky took a sip. “I mean DC is nice, don’t get me wrong but…”

“It’s not New York,” Bucky muttered and you nodded.

“Exactly.”

“You’ll come back eventually,” Sarah said with a shrug of her shoulders. “How’s everything at work, by the way?”

“Well, she was planning on killing people before we got here.”

“Bucky!”

“You said, and I quote—”

“You would want to kill them too if you’ve read the report I’ve read,” you retorted and turned to Sarah. “So we’ve started working on this bill draft for the veterans, and if we pull it off it’s going to be amazing, but we’re supposed to have a specific report and the bad thing is, the team who wrote the report consists of idiots.”

“Sam said you were working on something with clean energy too?”

“Oh that’s gonna pass the senate like lightning,” you said. “Gray has a wonderful team.”

Bucky scoffed and took a sip of his beer, and you shot him a look.

“Don’t.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You don’t have to.”

Sarah frowned. “You don’t like Gray?”

“Oh I like Gray,” Bucky answered with a dry smile. “I don’t like his team.”

“A specific person in his team which— I told you before,” Sam added and nodded at Bucky, then turned to you. “I think you two made the right call keeping it secret, but things like that will happen. You need to get used to that especially for the time being.”

A look of realization dawned on Sarah’s face and she nodded.

“Both of you,” she said. “I mean, no one knows you two are together. Secret relationship is fun, but…”

“But it’s going to have its challenges, like people hitting on one of you while the other has to play it cool,” Sam said. “Sooner you realize that, the better.”

 Even the idea of watching someone hit on Bucky while you had to sit there and smile was enough to churn your stomach in anxiety, but you managed to keep yourself busy by taking the bottle from Bucky to sip on it again.

“Oh I know,” you said, keeping your voice completely calm. “Very much aware of it, no worries.”

Knowing it and being able to pull it off were two different things, though.

You would find that one out soon enough.

Chapter 17: Flirting

Summary:

Secret relationships come with possessiveness.

You should’ve known Sam would be proven right about secret relationships being difficult sooner than later but in your defense, you were too distracted to even think about that.

Or too lovesick.

Either or.

“I’m begging you to pick a couch.”

You slurped on your milkshake, your eyes darting over your phone screen before you stole a look in the direction of the open kitchen, then slipped a little on Bucky’s couch to make yourself comfortable.

“Hm?”

“Couch.”

“I told you,” you murmured while you typed your reply to an email, “a couch is a huge commitment.”

“It’s a piece of furniture,” Bucky insisted. “Arguably the most important one for your comfort in the living room.”

“We have pillows in the living room.” You put your phone down when he turned to grab the brown takeout bag from the kitchen island, and you shot him an overly innocent smile. “They’re comfy.”

“I’ll buy you the couch, just tell me what kind.”

“Also no.”

“Great, then I’ll ask Caleb and—stop working.”

Your head shot up and you frowned at his back while he poured the fries from the bag into a plate, not even looking at you.

“Do you have eyes on the back of your head?”

“You’re very obvious,” he corrected you and walked past the kitchen island to fling himself on the couch, then put the plates on the small table and held out his hand. You pouted your lips, huffing out a breath.

“Just one email!”

“Nope, because just one email will turn into a whole meeting via emails.” He curled his fingers, motioning for your phone. “Come on. We said we’d separate work and this.”

You groaned and handed him the phone.

“Thank you,” he said, putting it on the table as well and his eyes widened when you grabbed a fry to dip it into your milkshake. “Birdie, what…?”

You grinned. “Hold on, you haven’t tried this before?”

“I doubt anyone has,” he stated while you popped the fry in your mouth.

“You should try it.”

“That looks disgusting.”

“It’s delicious!” You dipped another fry and held it up for him. “Try it!”

“I’ll take your word for it.” He took a bite of his own food and you shrugged your shoulders.

“Your loss, Barnes,” you muttered as you snuggled closer to him and he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you to his chest. A smile pulled at your lips while you chewed on the fry, then tucked your legs under you and turned the TV on.

“I still cannot believe you don’t have any subscriptions.” You changed the channels. “I mean honestly—”

You stopped talking when you came across a news channel that was livestreaming Valentina Allegra De Fontaine’s press release about some CIA mission. You tilted your head when you saw Mel at the corner of the frame and pointed at the screen with the remote.

“She’s nice,” you commented and Bucky shot you a quizzical glance.

“De Fontaine?”

“No, Mel,” you said. “Her assistant. I met her at the ball, she gave me mints because I was puking my guts out.”

He gave your arm an assuring squeeze. “She sounds nice.”

“I haven’t met De Fontaine though.”

“I have,” Bucky muttered and you raised your brows.

“And the verdict?”

“I don’t trust her,” he said. “She’s hiding something.”

“I’d say the head of the CIA is known to hide things.”

“Not because of the CIA,” he said. “Gary thinks she’s corrupt.”

You blinked a couple of times. “Oh she definitely—hold on, Congressman Gary? He said that?”

“Mm hm. Elkins too.”

You sat up straight to see him better. “Elkins? As in, Congresswoman for decades Elkins?”

“Yeah.”

“Did they say corrupt how?”

“Shadow ops.”

You let out a whistle and stole a look at the screen again. “Oh, that means she’s in trouble.”

“This counts as you working—”

“Do they have documentation to prove she’s corrupt?” you cut him off and he shook his head.

“Not yet, but they’re on it,” he said. “And to repeat, we said we’d leave work at work—”

“And I told you I can’t just quit cold turkey.” You brushed him off and grabbed your phone. “Just give me one sec—yeah, there we go. This makes perfect sense.”

“What?”

You turned the screen so that he could see it better.

“My mom and dad used to throw these Christmas parties,” you said. “At first it was about entertainment for my mom, then it became a meddling opportunity for the corrupt and rich thanks to my dad. He kept the tradition even after the blip, with my mom gone—”

“Wait, you haven’t told me that,” he interrupted you. “She was snapped?”

“Mm hm.” You offered him a small smile. “I’m telling you, if it were my dad instead of my mom, politics would’ve been in a much better condition right now. I mean don’t get me wrong, my dad has always been corrupt but when my mom was out of the picture, there was nothing holding him back. He put all his attention on his work and…voila. He has the majority of political people in his pocket.” 

 “Were you okay?”

You scrunched up your nose. “It was hard at first,” you admitted. “It’s fine now— but look who’s in the picture. This is after Blip.”

Bucky frowned at the screen. “You’re saying your father has something on her?”

“I’m saying you don’t just get invited to these parties unless you work with or for my father. She is smart and ambitious, so my guess is they did work together at one point or another. Has to be something off the books because now that I think about it, my father’s assistant said something about her visiting my dad’s vacation house one time when she called me to ask whether I’d be visiting in the holidays.”

“And this picture is while your mother was gone?”

“Mm hm.”

“Any chance that whole work thing evolved into something else?”

“Oh, no way.” You shook your head. “Listen, my father is evil as fuck, he technically falls under the definition of a war criminal with the bills and the people he has funded and he manipulates anyone and everyone, but if there is one thing that I can be sure of is that he genuinely loves my mom. Even during the blip, he didn’t look at another woman twice.”

“You’re that sure of it?”

“That’s his one redeeming quality, believe it or not,” you murmured and tapped on the screen. “It’s work related. The only question is, whether he has something on her or whether they’re working together.”

Bucky looked to be deep in thought.

“Do you think Gary or Elkins could use your father to—”

“Impossible,” you said with a chuckle. “Nope.”

“Even if he gets affected when it comes out she’s corrupt?”

“My father doesn’t get affected by anything, in any possible scenario. He has too much power, the system is not gonna work against him.” You shrugged your shoulders. “Trust me, it took me some time to deal with that fact but…”

When he saw the expression on your face, he gave you a small smile and gently pulled the phone out of your hand.

“Still counts as working,” he said as if giving you a secret, coaxing a laugh out of you. “Change the channel.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, and changed the channel.

“Okay, we have…horror movie, news channel, rom com, Sinatra documentary—oh my God, I totally forgot!” You jumped on your feet, making him pull his brows together.

“What is happening?”

“You distracted me with sex when I first got here so I forgot—I have something for you!” you called out as you rushed to the hallway to find the large tote bag you had more or less thrown on the floor the moment Bucky had pulled you into a kiss, then made your way back into the living room to stand in front of Bucky with a huge grin. Bucky looked entertained already as he gave a look at the tote bag you were hugging to your chest, his lips curling into a smile.

“What’s that?” he asked as he got up from the couch and you took a deep breath.

“So,” you said, rocking on the balls of your feet. “You remember how you were trying to make me feel better after that attack back in New York, and we discovered we both listen to Billie Holliday? And Ella Fitzgerald?”

“Of course I remember.”

“And I was thinking, dating stuff changes in time, right? For example, back in 80s people used to make mixed cassette tapes, and then it turned into CDs, nowadays we just make playlists but you’re not overly fond of digital stuff.”

He nodded his head and you gave him a bright smile, then pulled out the cardboard sleeve out of the tote bag.

“So I got you a mixed vinyl!”

His jaw dropped as he took the cardboard sleeve from you, then pulled out the vinyl carefully as if it was made of precious glass, letting out a breath.

“How—?”

“To be honest, I didn’t even know they could do that,” you admitted. “But apparently they can, I found this vintage record store which led me to another record store and the guy was very helpful so um, there you go! It’s like a playlist but you can play it on your phonogram.”

The light in his eyes was soft as he looked down at you. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah!” you said. “Consider it our relationship playlist or something.”

He let out a small chuckle before pulling you into a kiss and you felt yourself melt into him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Darling, I don’t know what to say,” he murmured, his hand cradling the back of your head. “Thank you.”

A giggle climbed your throat. “I’m glad you like it.”

“But I didn’t…” he trailed off, frowning slightly like he was angry at himself. “I didn’t get you anything—”

“Debatable, I got multiple orgasms earlier today thanks to you.” You held both hands in front of you with your palms facing down, lifting one higher than the other as if you were weighing two options. “Vinyl vs orgasms, obviously orgasms.”

A smirk twitched his mouth. “Very romantic.”

“Right?” you mused as you pulled him down to kiss him again. “I’m nothing if not romantic.”

---

You were way too focused on reading and editing the packet on your laptop screen that you didn’t even realize your name being called until Kelsey threw a pen at your desk, making your head snap up before you took out your earphones.

“Hm?”

“I can hear your music from here.” Caleb called out from his desk and you wiggled your brows.

“I have great taste in music, thank you very much. Kels?”

“Our little deer needs to ask you something.” Kelsey pointed at Brian who rushed to you with files in his arms.

“Ma’am, sorry to disturb you,” he said breathlessly, trying to shuffle through the pages without dropping the files. “Um, I was wondering—”

“Sit down,” you said with a small smile and pulled a seat next to you. “And calm down, and breathe. What’s going on?”

He sat down and put the files on your desk, then grabbed a file to open it.

“Um, I was wondering if Congresswoman Gray’s team might have missed something?”

You pulled your brows together.

“Lucas usually doesn’t miss stuff but there’s a first time for everything,” you muttered as you took it from him. “What’s the problem?”

“This article right here,” he said, pointing at the page. “This is for the taxes, we have the PTC but there’s supposed to be a cross reference with ITC, investment—”

“Investment tax credit,” you finished his sentence for him and shuffled through the pages. “No yeah, you’re right. I think this is the—ah, there we go.” You clicked your tongue when you checked the first page. “This is the draft from last week, they edited it two days ago, they must’ve given you the wrong one.”

He nodded his head fervently. “It was very crowded there, maybe they got confused.”

“Want me to email them?”

“Would you?” Brian asked, his eyes widening. “I’d appreciate it ma’am, thank you so much.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you said. “Good catch though! You’re very thorough, anyone else would’ve missed it.”

He gave you a proud smile and Kelsey let out an ‘aw’.

“He’s too cute,” she said. “Brian honey, have you eaten today?”

“Not yet ma’am but I’ve had four cups of coffee.”

Your head whipped around.

“Whoa, what?” you asked. “Brian, that’s not healthy.”

Caleb gave you a look. “I’ve literally seen you consume four energy drinks on top of multiple cups of coffee, and now you’re judging him?”

“That’s different,” you defended yourself. “He’s nineteen, and he’s under my responsibility.”

“Our responsibility,” Kelsey corrected you and pointed at Brian. “Birdie is right, go get some food from the cafeteria.”

“But I have to finish—”

“That can wait until after you eat.” You pushed the files out of his reach. “Go. I’ll email Lucas in the meantime.”

Brian thought for a moment, pursing his lips before he stood up.

“I’ll be quick,” he said and rushed out of the office while you shook your head, turning back to your screen.

You had only read half a page when click of heels came closer before someone stepped into the office.

“Hi, I had an appointment with Barnes?”

You had heard the voice on TV and even in the hallways a couple of times, so even before you turned your head, you knew who it was. Congresswoman Garson was already making waves in the Capitol—and in the world of politics, for that matter. She was incredibly smart, her district adored her and had made sure she won in a landslide, she was already accomplished even though it was only her second term in the Congress, and press loved her.

And she was very pretty.

She gave you a polite smile which you returned while Kelsey jumped on her feet.

“This way, Congresswoman Garson,” she said as she led her to Bucky’s door, then knocked on it and opened it. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Bucky standing up as she stepped in, then Kelsey closed the door while Caleb scooted his chair closer to you.

“Who’s that?”

“Vivien Garson,” you said. “She’s gonna be the next big name in politics.”

“Really?”

“Mm hm.”

“I like that we’re getting more and more attractive politicians, to be honest,” he said. “Bucky, her…This is how change starts.”

“She was here before Bucky,” you said with a grin. “But I get the idea.”

Caleb leaned back in his chair to make himself comfortable, focusing his attention on his phone and you turned to your screen again so that you could send Lucas a quick email before getting back to work.

By the time Vivien’s meeting with Bucky was over, Brian was back and the whole office was working on their own thing so it was pretty quiet for once. You didn’t put your earphones in just in case Brian had any other questions, so when Bucky’s door opened, you were in the middle of adding some footnotes to the page you were on so that Bucky could take a look at them later on.

“I have to admit, I did not think you would drive such a hard bargain,” Vivien stated as Bucky walked her to the door. “Murray forgot to mention that.”

“Left it out, you mean,” Bucky joked while she turned around to give him a small smile.

“Mm hm,” she said. “I’m gonna be honest, when Murray said we should bring you aboard with this bill, I thought he was being himself—you know, nostalgic veteran who bonds with other nostalgic veterans.”

Bucky shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not exactly nostalgic.”

Vivien tilted her head.

“Look me in the eye and tell me he didn’t start with a story from his time in the military in your first conversation.”

“He made me start with a story,” Bucky pointed out, making her smile widen. “Made is the keyword here.”

“Figures,” she said with a sigh. “Well Barnes, I’m afraid I’ll have to take you out for lunch now. When are you free?”

Oh.

Alright.

Both Caleb and Kelsey turned to gawk at you in sync, along with Bucky who stole a look at you but you forced yourself to keep your gaze on the screen as you paused only for a moment before you continued typing.

You were not going to react. This was your workplace, you could not risk any whispers or gossip, not to mention—

Going to lunch with others wasn’t exactly unheard from in the Capitol. They were probably going to work on the bill together with Congressman Murray, it was professional.

Just like you were professional.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Bucky swallowing thickly before he cleared his throat, motioning at Kelsey.

“I’m full the whole week or—or even longer, right Kelsey?”

“Yep!” Kelsey said without a beat. “Even during lunch, Mr. Barnes. Your schedule is packed.”

Vivien hummed, a mischievous grin pulling at her lips.

“Ah,” she said. “Well then, wine and dine it is.”

Nope.

Nope, that was not professional, not even a little but—

But you had to keep your anger in check, even though it felt like you were trying to control a goddamn wildfire.

“My assistant will contact yours,” she said silkily and walked out of the office, leaving everyone quite dumbfounded. You could see Tim and Lisa whispering in the corner while Caleb hissed in a breath and mouthed something to Kelsey who pursed her lips. Bucky ran his hand through his hair and cleared his throat.

“Birdie, do you—uh, do you have a moment?”

You looked up at him, willing yourself to keep a calm expression.

“Sure,” you said and pushed your chair back to follow him to the office, repeating in your head over and over again to stay calm and collected.

This was work.

You had to be professional.

Not to mention, Sam had already told you. It was expected; no one knew you and Bucky were dating, so of course people were going to flirt with him.

Case and point, the hot and smart congresswoman.  

Anger was burning your throat but you bit inside your cheek to focus while Bucky closed the door behind him and walked to you.

“I’m not going on dinner,” he said breathlessly like it was crucial that you knew that. “Or—or lunch.”

Keep. Your. Shit. Together.

You nodded your head. “Okay.”

“With her, I mean,” he added, motioning at the door. “No way.”

“Alright.”

“I mean I thought I was being friendly when I joked about Murray—you asked me to make friends with other people here and I figured— I didn’t think she’d think I was interested in uh, in going on dinner with her. Or see her outside. Out of the Capitol, I mean.”

Calm down.

You’re at work, calm the fuck down.

“Okay.”

“Are we okay?” he asked and you nodded your head again.

“Sure.”

If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought the infamous Winter Soldier, the man who could stand decades of torture, the legend who was built to never crack under any kind of pressure, was nervous.

 “See, I want to believe you but just yesterday you gave me a spontaneous tirade about how milkshake is better than ice cream, so one word answers aren’t exactly convincing.”

You took a deep breath, crossing your arms just so that you could do something with your hands.

“We’re okay.”

“I wasn’t flirting with her or anything—do you want to be in the room in the next meeting?” he asked. “We can arrange that.”

That managed to twitch your lips into a smile despite you trying to stop it, and you shook your head.

“That’s not necessary.”

“Are you sure?” he insisted. “I mean, are you—are you upset?”

I’m fucking furious, thanks for asking.

You nibbled on your lip, your stomach still churning in anger but you managed to shake your head.

“No,” you said. “No, I trust you.”

“…Do you?”

You arched a brow. “Shouldn’t I?”

“No—no, you should!” he said in a rush. “You should, but I’d understand it if that pissed you off.”

“It didn’t piss me off.” You lied through your teeth and offered him a forced smile. “It happens, as long as you don’t flirt back we’re fine.”

He shook his head fervently. “I would never.”

“Good.” You gestured at him. “There we go, open communication—”

You were cut off when Kelsey knocked on the door and opened it to peek her head in.

“Mr Barnes,” she said loudly so that the rest of the people outside could hear. “Your eleven o’clock is here.”

Bucky looked at you as if asking for your permission and you gave him a curt nod, then took a step back.

“I’ll talk to you later,” you said and walked out of the office, anger still pulsing in your temples.

---

Funny thing about anger was that the more you tried to repress it, the more powerful it got. For the whole day you tried to focus on anything else, but it kept burning your insides, making your jaw ache from how hard you were clenching it.

You needed to go home before you exploded on someone who didn’t deserve it and appear unprofessional.

Maybe a hot shower and snacks would help.

“Birdie?”

“Hm?”

“You’ve been glaring at the screen for the last hour.” Caleb said and you shrugged your shoulders, still keeping your eyes on the screen.

“I’m reading.”

“No you’re not,” Kelsey pointed out. “Hey, should we go drinking tonight?”

“Oh that sounds like a good plan!” Caleb said as Bucky’s door opened and he stepped out. “Bucky! Do you want to join us?”

“Join what?” he asked, coming to lean back on your desk and offering you a small smile that you returned. “Where are we going?”

“To the pub.”

He pulled his brows together and looked around the office before lowering his voice.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“We’ll be there too,” Caleb muttered. “It’ll look like a team thing.”

“You want to go?” Bucky asked you and you shrugged your shoulders again.

“Why not? I could use a drink.”

“I didn’t like the cocktails at that place we went to the other day,” Kelsey said while Brian walked into the office. “We’re going somewhere else.”

“Ma’am?” Brian said, making you turn to him. “I was wondering, do I write any report or something if I’m here overtime?”

You frowned slightly. “You don’t have to stay overtime, Brian. We’re leaving at the usual hour.”

“Um—yeah but Congressman Murray’s team is pulling an all-nighter tonight and they said I should stay to bring them coffee and stuff.”

You blinked a couple of times. “…Say what now?”

“When I dropped off the files you asked me to—”

“You’re not working overtime to bring anyone coffee, Brian,” Bucky said and Brian shook his head.

“Oh I really don’t mind, Mr. Barnes!”

“It doesn’t matter if you mind it or not, buddy,” Bucky said gently like he was trying to assure him. “You can’t let people push you around like that, okay?”

“But they said interns—”

“Who?” you cut him off, your voice low with fury and Brian looked over his shoulder as if he wanted to check the hallway, then turned to you again.

“Frank,” he said. “He’s a little intimidating but I think he means well.”

You let out a dry laugh, then shook your head and got up from your chair, making Bucky frown.

“Where are you going?”

 “I’m gonna teach Frank some manners,” you said through your teeth as you snatched your phone off your desk and strode to the door. “And you can’t get involved.”

For the record, you knew half of this anger was because of what had happened earlier with Bucky and Vivien. This was just a way to channel it, but it didn’t mean people could just push your intern around; your internship had been terrible, and you weren’t going to let the same thing happen to Brian, he was way too sweet for that.

You walked down the hallway, your heels clicking on the marble floor and you took a deep breath when you reached Murray’s team’s office. Regardless of how angry you were, you had to remember that you were still at work so no matter how much you wanted to yell at someone, you couldn’t.

That was just unprofessional.

You stepped into the office to find the whole team there, Frank laughing at someone’s joke behind his desk and you licked your lips, then cleared your throat.

“Frank.”

He turned his head.

“Well well, if this isn’t the Hurricane on Heels,” he joked as he stood up. “How can I help you?”

“You can help me by not giving my intern bullshit orders,” you told him and he grinned, his eyes locked in yours.

“He’s an intern,” he reminded you. “Interns have to do whatever we say, that’s what they’re here for.”

“He’s my intern, and that’s not what he’s here for.”

“So he tattled to his mommy, is that it?”

Keep your anger in check.

Keep your fucking anger in check, there are people here.

“I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you,” you said, “so I’m gonna, you know, speak very slowly in a way that you’ll understand.”

Some people in Frank’s team stifled their laughs.

“My intern is here for me to give him work,” you said as if you were talking to a toddler and motioned at him. “He doesn’t work for you, and he isn’t your butler. Okay?”

Frank pursed his lips and glared at the people watching you, then turned to you and held up his hands.

“Sure. Whatever.”

“Great,” you said and turned around but before you stepped out, you heard his murmur under his breath.

“Fucking bitch.”

Ah.

Alright then, today’s lottery winner.

Anger shot through your system so fast that it made you almost lightheaded, your jaw tightening as you took a deep breath, a deranged smile pulling at your lips before you turned around to look at him, the whole office falling into silence.

“What did you just say to me?” you asked calmly and Frank paused only for a moment before he shrugged his shoulders.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“No?” you asked. “You don’t have the guts to repeat it?”

He blinked a couple of times, shifting his weight.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Right,” you said and stepped closer. “Frank, I need you to use all those three brain cells that you possess and at least try to listen to me, alright? I know that mommy told you you’re his special special boy, and daddy had to pull a lot of strings just so that his lazy asshole of a son could cosplay a functional member of the society in the Congress, but I don’t have humor you.”

He stole a look around the room and cleared his throat. “Maybe we should step out.”

“No, this is happening right here,” you growled, coming closer to him. “I don’t know why you are under this impression that you can order someone in my own team to do anything for you, but let me get this very clear, you do not have the position to pretend you can order people around. No one in my office including my intern is going to be taking orders from a guy who is the living, breathing proof that we’re in the golden age of dumbassery.”

 “I—”

“No no, you know what you are, Frank? You are the personification of a linen condom back in the ancient times,” you cut him off. “You’re not useful even if you somehow convinced people otherwise, your results are less than satisfactory, and there are so many better alternatives coming to replace you.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see multiple people recording you two, but you paid them no mind as you glared daggers at Frank who looked like he was at a loss for words.

“What is your function here?” you asked him. “Seriously, what is it? You can’t write a fucking draft to save your life, you can’t come up with any good ideas, I had to spend hours to correct that fucking abomination you call a report, why do you think you’re here? Because trust me, Murray will see your report—unedited, by the way— and mine in the next meeting he has with my boss, and I’ll make sure to point out every single mistake that you’ve made.”

You pressed your palms on the desk to lean in as Frank sat down—more like fell down— on his chair, staring at you.

“Do you think he’ll be as forgiving?” You tut-tutted. “The man used to be in the military, something tells me he doesn’t have much room for inadequacy.”

His eyes widened and he shook his head. “There’s no need for that.”

“I decide if there’s any need for that—”

“Murray doesn’t need to—”

Before you knew it, your father was speaking through your mouth, your voice rising. “Do not interrupt me when I’m talking!”

Frank sat up straighter as if you pricked him with a needle and stopped talking immediately.

“So,” you said, your voice calmer. “I’ll ask again. What the fuck did you just say to me?”

The whole office was quiet as Frank swallowed thickly, opening his mouth and closing it again when no sound came out, then he took a trembling breath.

“…I’m sorry.”

You raised your brows and gave him a small smile.

“There,” you said. “Was it so hard?”

 You pushed yourself off the desk and heaved a sigh while Frank looked like he was ready to curl up into himself to disappear, and whispers filled the office as you took a step back.

“Anyone else who thinks interns are here for you guys to use them as your punching bags?” you asked the rest of the office and some of them shook their heads fervently while the others murmured ‘no’ under their breaths.

“Good,” you said and nodded at Frank. “Glad we cleared that out. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions about my edits on the report.”

With that, you turned around and walked out of the office, the sound of your heels echoing in the hallway.

Chapter 18: Open Communication

Summary:

Communication is important after a fight.

Disagreements at work –especially when it came to politics— were expected, you were aware of it.

That being said, losing control and unleashing your whole fury on the first person who crossed you was not exactly something you had planned, even though everyone around you looked like they were having so much fun with it.

Like your secret boyfriend who happened to be your boss.

“Birdie, can I talk to you for a second?” he asked as Congressman Murray walked out of the room and you stole a look at him, then nodded and pushed your chair back to make your way into Bucky’s office. He closed the door behind you, and you took a deep breath.

“Okay, I think I know what this is about.”

He leaned back to his desk, crossing his arms. “Do you?”

“You saw the video.”

“Mm hm, Murray showed it to me.”

“Yeah—so yeah, I can explain,” you said breathlessly, motioning with your hands. “Um, so it wasn’t exactly professional, but in my defense Frank is an asshole, and like, what gives him the right to order my intern around—why do you look so amused?”

A chuckle escaped his mouth and he held out his hand for you to take it, then pulled you close to him.

“Linen condom?” he asked like he wanted to make sure and you shrugged your shoulders.

“That was a thing back then,” you said. “Is Murray pissed? Am I in trouble?”

He shot you a look as if you had asked him a simple question with an obvious answer.

“Of course not, darling.”

“It’s just that his financial report was bullshit.”

“Mm hm.”

“And—and my internship was terrible, someone has to break the chain somewhere, and Brian is actually, genuinely sweet, I’m not gonna let anyone take advantage of him.”

“Of course.”

“And Frank is an asshole—”

“What did he say to you?”

That was enough to make you stop talking, your eyes snapping up to his. You were very much aware of how it would go for Frank if Bucky heard that he had called you a bitch, and while you were appreciative of his protectiveness when it came to defending your honor, at work it would create so many problems.

At work, he was your boss; not your boyfriend.

“Hm?” you asked, trying to earn some time to come up with an excuse and he raised his brows.

“Frank,” he said. “What did he say to you to make you so angry?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Is it important?”

“It is.”

“He uh—” You cleared your throat. “He called me an amateur.” 

“An amateur?”

“Yeah!” you said with a laugh, hoping that he wouldn’t call out your lie while his eyes searched your face as if he was trying to read your mind. “After that fucking report, I mean, for him to call me an amateur…”

“Do you want me to handle it?”

“No no no!” You shook your head fervently. “You cannot get involved in any way, Bucky. I’m serious.”

“I just think he should—”

“Nope,” you cut him off. “Absolutely not. My boss wouldn’t get involved in a situation like this, so you can’t.”

He let out a furious breath.

“I hate this,” he murmured and you shifted your weight, scrunching up your nose.

“Funny you should mention that,” you said. “Because I need to tell you something you’re gonna hate even more.”

He tilted his head. “What?”

“Before I start,” you said, swinging your entwined hands, “I need you to remember that we’re in love.”

He pulled his brows together, keeping his gaze on you.

“And that we trust each other.”

“See, an introduction like this is making me think you killed someone.”

“Oh you’re gonna wish it were that simple,” you told him. “Although, it is worth mentioning that if I did kill someone, you’d be the first person I’d call.”

“Obviously.”

“But anyway,” you said. “So, uh…Lucas’s birthday is this weekend and there’s gonna be this party at a club and his team is going along with a bunch of people from other teams—basically the whole congress staff and I got roped in.”

His brows shot up.

“Because we work together,” you added. “I couldn’t say no, everyone is going so it’d look weird if I said I wouldn’t.”

The only clue of how he was feeling about this was the tightening of his jaw and you squeezed his hand.

“Bucky.”

He paused for a moment as if he was trying to choose the right words and you were very much aware of just how annoyed he was but when he spoke, he made sure to keep his voice calm: “Well, it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind.”

You cussed in your head and took a deep breath. “You don’t like it.”

“Do I like the idea of you going to a club with the guy who’s been hitting on you ever since you two met?” he deadpanned, making your jaw drop. “No, can’t say I like it.”

“Okay, that’s not—I’m not going to a club with him,” you corrected him. “I’m going to a club where he’s gonna be, with a crowd.”  

“A drunk crowd.”

“I’m not gonna be drunk.”

He let out a huff of bitter laugh and pulled his hand from yours to cross his arms over his chest. “Okay.”

“What?” you insisted and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Like I said. You’ve already made up your mind, no use fighting about this.”

“I’m not trying to fight, I’m trying to have open communication.”

“Good for you but this is not open communication,” he told you. “This is just you letting me know where you’re gonna be this weekend.”

“What was I supposed to do, ask for your permission?” you snapped. “Like what—like we’re in the 1940s right now—”

You stopped talking when he said your name, making you frown and pull back slightly.

Bucky hardly ever used your actual name. It was always Birdie or sweetheart or darling or any other term of endearment, not your actual name.

“This is not a political debate,” he said, his voice still calm, “Or something you need to strategize. Stop trying to twist my words around when you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Silence fell upon the room and you blinked a couple of times, your mind going overdrive as you opened your mouth to retort but Kelsey knocked on the door and opened it.

“Your next meeting,” she told Bucky and you clicked your tongue.

“I’ll leave you to it,” you mumbled and walked out of the office so that Congressman Williams could go in. Kelsey tilted her head when she saw the expression on your face.

“Is everything okay?”

You looked around the office and lowered your voice.

“I’ll tell you about it on lunch.”

She hissed in a breath. “Ouch. That bad?”

You scoffed a dry laugh and nodded your head, then made your way to your desk.

---

There was only so many times you could postpone having dinner with your parents especially when you were in the same city, so you had decided you would get it over with before your fight with Bucky, but now you were almost restless to finish dinner and go to his place.

It didn’t help that you hadn’t said anything to him before you left, but he already knew you would be having dinner tonight because you had whined about it the whole night last night.

“So!” Your mother clasped her hands together as the maids served the dessert. “How’s work, honey?”

You stole a look at your father before you plastered a smile on your face.

“It’s good,” you said. “Um—we’re about to be done with the veteran bill.”

“You think it’ll pass?”

“Unless there’s some sort of outer influence,” you said, tilting your champagne flute in your father’s direction who held up his hands.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Pumpkin.”

You scoffed and took a sip, then your eyes snapped to your phone that vibrated on the table. You grabbed it to unlock it, the text making your lips curl into a smile before you remembered to control your expression.

From: Winter is Coming

Let me know when you get home?

Of course.

Even though you had a fight, Bucky still wanted to make sure you were safe.

You quickly typed in your reply before you cleared your throat and put the phone back on the table.

“Sorry,” you said. “Uh—work.”

Your father raised his brows. “You always smile at work texts?”

Fuck.

“Um—we have this inside joke about the clean energy bill.”

“So Lucas texts you at this hour?”

Your mother gasped. “Who’s Lucas?”

“He’s no one,” you said quickly. “He’s just a guy I work with on the clean energy bill.”

“Is he cute?”

“Wouldn’t know,” you answered your mother. “I don’t see him like that.”

“But there must be someone cute at work, right?” your mother asked, making you pull your brows together.

“I work at the Capitol, mom. Not at a modeling agency.”

She waved a hand in the air. “And Capitol doesn’t consist of old congressmen only. They have staff.”

“I don’t…I’m not looking for a relationship right now, I’m focused on my career.”

“You’re always focused on your career,” your mother said with a huff. “You need balance, sweetheart.”

“I’m balanced,” you defended yourself. “I just—I’m working on like two bills at the same time, that’s what’s important.”

“You know, I was your age when I had you,” she said, making you choke on your champagne before you cleared your throat, rubbing at your chest.

“Mom…”

“I’m just saying!”

“Honestly at this point, if I had a baby, they’d come out with like a phone in their hand,” you murmured. “And ask for coffee when they first talk.”

“But they’d be so adorable!”

“Can we just stop please?”

“Yeah, let’s stop talking about that,” your father said but she shook her head.

“I mean I must admit, I’ve always thought your babies with Max would be cute—”

“Whoa!” Your eyes widened. “Max was an asshole who cheated on me, in case anyone at this table forgot. And everything else aside, he worked like a hundred hours a week, so did I.”

“Nannies exist for a reason.”

The snarky comment was at the tip of your tongue, but you managed to control yourself and downed your drink, the maid coming closer to fill it again.

“Uh huh. I’ll get back to you when I date someone, mom.”

“You don’t have to date anyone to have a baby, technology has improved.”

You started massaging your temples. “Jesus Christ…”

“Sweetheart.” Your father reached out to hold her hand. “She doesn’t want that yet.”

“Much appreciated dad—I’m sorry, yet?”

“A lot of my friends have grandkids,” she told you as if that was enough of an incentive for you. “Besides, it’d be like a…you know, a fun getaway from work. Then you can get back to it.”

“A fun getaway from work is like a weekend mom, not nine months and then however long it takes to get back to work,” you explained patiently. “A baby is a huge responsibility in case you forgot.”

“Debatable.”

“It’s not debatable,” you said, annoyance creeping up on you. “It turns your life upside down—”

“You didn’t turn my life upside down.”

“Yeah, probably because I barely saw you growing up.” The words left your lips before you had any chance to stop them and your father cleared his throat as if warning you.

“Pumpkin.”

“Well, I had my own life of course!” your mother said. “As I’ve said, balance. What was I supposed to do, change everything? That’d be depressing.”

“And you guys don’t believe me when I say I was just an accessory,” you muttered under your breath and licked your lips. “Can we just change the subject? I’m not having kids anytime soon.”

“Yes, let’s change it,” your father said and you motioned at him.

“Probably the one and only time we agree.”

His lips twitched into a smile as he shot you a look while your mother held up her hands.

“Fine.” She heaved a sigh. “Honestly, I don’t understand what the big deal is.”

You scoffed a laugh, pushing at the cake with your fork and your father took a deep breath.

“I saw the video by the way.”

Your head shot up and you scrunched up your face.

“Let me guess, this whole dinner was just a trap for you to give me a speech about professional behavior at work—”

“Not at all,” he cut you off, smiling slightly. “I’m impressed.”

“I didn’t do it for you to be impressed,” you told him while your mother leaned in with curiosity.

“What video?”

“It’s not important.”

Your father hummed. “A lot of my friends want to hire you.”

“Tell them I don’t work for super villains,” you retorted and sipped your drink. “I’m happy with my current boss.”

“Oh, how is he doing?” your mother asked. “Is he still handsome?”

“…I don’t know how to answer that question.”

“He’s working on the veteran bill with Vivien Garson?” your father asked and you nodded.

“Uh huh.”

“Oh my God, she’s stunning!” your mother said. “I’ve had the chance to talk to her at a gala last month—and she’s single, right? Her and Bucky would make a terrific couple, wouldn’t you say?”

Your stomach did a painful flip but you were aware that your father was watching you like a hawk, so you made sure to keep your expression flat.

“Wouldn’t know,” you managed to say despite the bitterness coating your tongue. “I don’t think about my boss’ love life, to be honest with you.”

---

You knew that the wise thing to do would be going back to your place especially when you were exhausted both emotionally and physically after such a day. Not only that, you and Bucky hadn’t really had the chance to talk –you had yourself to thank for that— so any logical person would tell you to wait until tomorrow where you would both be rested.

Too bad you weren’t a logical person.

Going up to Bucky’s front door was risky, so you’d had found your own little path where you’d use the back entrance through his garden just in case there were any journalists at the front. You climbed over the fence, then carefully lowered yourself to the ground and made your way through the garden but before you could so much as knock on the door, Bucky had already opened it.

“Hey.”

“Let me guess,” you tried to joke. “You heard me.”

“For future reference, you can cross out the secret spy from your list of career options,” he teased you back and stepped aside. “Come in.”

Things were still a little awkward, you could tell it even if he didn’t say anything. Even the air felt tense around you, making your stomach churn as you stepped in and Alpine rushed to you with a loud meow.

“Hi there pretty princess,” you whispered, crouching down to run your fingers through her soft fur. She blinked up at you while you scratched at her head, making her purr before you stood up and shifted your weight, Bucky’s gaze almost burning you.

“How was dinner?” he asked in a low tone and you forced yourself to smile.

“It was fine—um, so…” You vaguely motioned outside. “So about today, we—we couldn’t talk back there and um, I don’t think I can sleep without clearing the air, I wasn’t trying to strategize, I just don’t know how to discuss anything without strategizing because it’s basically automatic—”

“Come here,” he cut you off, holding out his hand and you blinked dumbly.

“But we’re—” you stammered, “we had a fight—”

“Come here,” he repeated and you took a step before you put your hand in his, so that he could pull you into his arms.

Oh.

This was it.

This was exactly what everyone was talking about whenever they talked about coming home. No matter the fight, no matter how terrible of a night you’d had, all of that washed away the moment you stepped into Bucky’s embrace. You could feel your body melting into his, the tension that had been pulling your muscles taut the whole night retrieving like a wave in the sea as he cradled the back of your head while you buried your face into his chest. He nuzzled into your hair, his vibranium hand tracing down your spine.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Your voice was inaudible. “Fun night?”

He hummed and bent down to pick you up, making you let out a squeal before you wrapped your legs around his waist, clinging to him like a koala and resting your head on the crook of his neck. He made his way to the living room where the soft melody from the phonograph was coming from –your playlist, you noticed— and sat down on the couch with you straddling him.

“Were you busy?”

“When have I ever been too busy for you?” he asked back, pressing a kiss on your temple while rubbing your back, and you heaved a sigh and pulled back to look at him better, painfully aware of the pout on your lips.

“Should we talk about the weekend?”

“It can wait,” he murmured. “Who was it this time? Your mom or your dad?”

“Weirdly enough, my dad was civil,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “As civil as a war criminal slash super villain could be. My mom on the other hand…”

“What did she say?”

That you and Vivien would make a good couple.

As much as you wanted to tell him, there was that stupid voice in your head that kept telling you how insecure that would sound, so you licked your lips and shook your head.

“She thinks I should have a baby because she was my age when she had me, and all her friends have grandchildren.”

He gawked at you. “What?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, hold on—a baby with who?”

“That part doesn’t matter, apparently.”

“…Ah.”

A smile twitched your lips despite your annoyance at your mom. “Different approach than 1940s huh?”

“I’d say so,” he muttered with a small laugh. “That part did matter a lot back then.”

You grinned. “No out of wedlock babies?”

“Usually not,” he said. “When it happened, it was a huge scandal.”

“Did they send people off to the seaside?”

“I’m pretty sure that one is from 1840s,” he pointed out, holding your chin to peck you on the lips, coaxing a giggle out of you. “Easy mistake, I get it.”

You leaned in to kiss him again, his hands going under your blouse to hold you by the waist while you made yourself comfortable in his lap, making him hiss in a breath. You could feel just how ready he was and a sly smile curled your lips as you pulled back with him chasing your lips.

“But we—” you managed to say through the fog of desire, “we still need to talk about it.”

“What, about babies?” he asked, breathing hard like he was trying to focus. “As far as responsibilities you’re ready for go, we’ll start with a couch and move from there darling.”

“No, the—” You held up your arms as he pulled your blouse over your head. “The weekend! We can’t—we can’t be one of those couples who—”

Jesus Christ, why was it so hard to complete your train of thought whenever Bucky kissed you?

“We can’t be one of those couple who think sex solves everything.”

You knew your concern was very valid, but it just so happened that you were also a goddamn hypocrite because while saying that, you were also pulling Bucky’s shirt over his head in a hurry so that you could drag your nails down his chest. Your eyes fluttered close when his lips found your neck, but you forced yourself to pull back again, your fingers clenching around the chain of his dog tags as he let out an impatient breath.

“But,” you said, “sex does count as open communication, right?”

His pupils were so dilated that you could hardly see the blue, and you were pretty sure if you asked for his soul at this point the answer would’ve been the same; him nodding fervently.

“Yeah!” he said. “Definitely.”

That was enough of a confirmation for you as you crashed your lips to his again, lifting yourself a little so that he could unbutton your jeans before he grabbed your waist to roll you onto your back, and got on top of you.

Well, you were definitely not one of those couples who thought sex solved everything.

You just had an order of priorities that you were very, very passionate about, and everything else could wait until the morning.

Chapter 19: Intoxicated

Summary:

Tension is bound to explode eventually.

Notes:

Warnings: Explicit language, adult themes, drinking, mentions of getting high with edibles, partying, angst.

Okay, maybe, just maybe, trying to solve the very obvious –glaring even— issue in your secret relationship with sex instead of actually talking it out was not exactly a good thing.

You didn’t like that someone else was flirting with him, he didn’t like that you were going to the birthday party of the guy who had been flirting with you for a while, and yet, the solution you had found to address the problem was less verbal and more…

Physical.

“Quick question, are we getting drunk tonight?”

You put your lip gloss down and fixed your hair, your eyes finding Kelsey’s in the mirror while Caleb walked into the bathroom, then jumped to sit on the sink.

“You guys can get drunk,” you told them. “I’m not gonna.”

Kelsey hummed. “Because of Bucky?”

“I just don’t want to get drunk with a bunch of people from work.”

“But also because of Bucky.” Caleb grinned. “I still cannot believe you’re sleeping with my boss.”

“I mean if it makes you feel any better, I’m also sleeping with my boss.”

Kelsey wiggled her brows. “And you keep saying you guys don’t do roleplay.”

“We don’t!” you exclaimed and paused. “Well we—we haven’t. Yet.”

“What would Bucky be into?” Caleb mused and snapped his fingers. “Oh! Soldier and naughty nurse?”

“Caleb, the man has trauma,” you deadpanned. “In case you forgot, he got captured by HYDRA when he was a soldier and was experimented on for decades. Something tells me anything concerning soldiers or nurses is not his idea of roleplay.”

“Boss and secretary it is,” Kelsey murmured and you thought for a moment.

“Like secretaries now or like back then?”

“What does it matter?”

“I’d need to learn the lingo from the 40s—” you started but was cut off when your phone started vibrating on the counter. You grabbed it and stepped out of the bathroom, taking your phone to your ear.

“Hi Buck!” you said breathlessly. “Are we still on for after the club?”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Yeah, there’s just a small problem.”

“What?”

“You remember how we said we trust each other?”

You pulled your brows together. “Yeah?”

“Vivien just called me.”

You stopped dead in your tracks in the middle of the living room, your stomach doing a painful flip as you tapped your finger on the back of your phone to distract yourself.

“…Oh?”

“She uh, apparently one of the lobbyists has been pressuring her a lot about the bill and she just got this text and long story short, she needs help. She was pretty spooked so she asked if I could go get her from the Capitol.”

You blinked a couple of times. “Sorry, what?”

“If she is in danger, I need to help.”

Ah.

Of course.

Of course that would jumpstart Bucky’s unstoppable urge to help anyone and everyone.

“I just wanted to let you know, in case—” he paused for a second. “I just figured you should know.”

You dragged the tip of your tongue over your bottom lip, trying to control the anger bubbling in your stomach.

“She wants you to go get her from the Capitol?” you asked. “Capitol as in swarming with security 24/7 Capitol?”

“Sweetheart.”

“On a Saturday night?”

“I get that it sounds off.”

“Do you?” The question came out harsher than you meant and he let out a breath.

“I don’t think she’s lying,” he told you. “And either way if she’s in trouble, I need to help. I’ll just take her to her place to make sure she’s safe, that’s it.”

Fucking—

Alright.

Alright, you had to stay calm.

“Birdie?”

“I’m here,” you managed to say, closing your eyes to take a deep breath before you opened them again. “I um…sure. I appreciate the heads up and I mean, you can’t not help, I suppose.”

You could, but you won’t.

“You okay?”

You gritted your teeth before you forced yourself to smile.

“Sure!” you exclaimed, your voice way too high pitched. “Uh huh. Just—”

“Birdie, the Uber is here!” Kelsey called out from the door and you pinched the bridge of your nose.

“Gotta go,” you mumbled. “Just be careful, please?”

And don’t let her flirt with you.

You hung up and stomped on your foot, a groan leaving your lips.

“Hey, everything okay?” Caleb asked and you gritted your teeth, then turned around.

“I’ll tell you guys on the way,” you said, walking to the door. “Let’s go.”

---

D.C. wasn’t New York, but the clubs weren’t half bad.

Though you were annoyed beyond words and couldn’t stop checking your phone, you knew you had to play it cool in front of other people. You had been holding the same drink for the last hour, taking little sips to take your time, and you had turned down the edible that one of Lucas’s friends brought so it was safe to say that you were the soberest person at the entire party.

And the grumpiest.

“You okay, Birdie?” Caleb asked and you tried to smile.

“Mm hm.”

“No you’re not,” Kelsey said, grabbing the cocktail glass from you to put another one into your hand. “And it’s okay if you’re pissed off.”

“I’m not pissed off.”

“Your boyfriend is playing the knight in shining armor for Miss Hot Shot Congresswoman,” Kelsey said while you heaved a sigh. “You’re allowed to be pissed off.”

“I trust him,” you forced yourself to say, keeping your eyes on the dancefloor. “Just like he trusts me. We’re both adults, so…”

“Doesn’t mean you have to like it,” Caleb said. “And bottoms up, come on.”

You took a huge sip of your drink, checking your phone again before you took a deep breath.

“I’m gonna get some fresh air.”

“Want us to come with you?”

You shook your head fervently. “I’ll be right back, you guys have fun. Go dance or something!”

“I’m dragging you to the dancefloor when you come back!” Caleb called out as you walked away from them to make your way out of the club. Fresh air hit your burning face, making you heave a sigh and lean back to the wall before you went to sit on the bench across the road.

It was fine.

You trusted him. Even if Vivien flirted with him, you knew very well that Bucky wouldn’t return those advances, not in a million years.

It didn’t mean you appreciated him being on her speed dial for some reason.

“You look tortured,” Lucas’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts and your head whipped around as he flung himself next to you. “What’s up, Hurricane?”

“What are you doing here, birthday boy?” you asked back with a smile and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Just making sure you’re okay.”

“Well, I’m not as drunk as you.” You grinned. “Or high.”

“Eh, barely.”

“How many fingers am I holding?” you asked, holding up two fingers and he squinted his eyes.

“Four.”

You scoffed a laugh. “Why do I feel like we’re gonna have to carry you home?”

He waved a hand in the air. “I’m fine,” he said and jerked his thumb back in the direction of the club. “Some of my friends in there are crushing on you.”

You pulled your brows together. “What?”

“Mm hm. Josh has been asking me about you.”

“I don’t even know which one is Josh.”

He clicked his tongue. “I’ll just tell him you’re not interested.”

“Much obliged,” you said, leaning back to look up at the sky, but he kept his eyes on you, making you turn to him after a couple of seconds. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly. “Nothing, it’s just…you look—you’re very pretty.”

Shit. Shit.

Abort fucking mission.

“And you, my friend, are very drunk,” you told him, your heartbeat speeding up. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

“But—”

“Inside,” you cut him off and jumped on your feet to pull him by the arm. “People are going to wonder where the birthday boy is, and I can’t have them blame me.”

“They’re not gonna do that!” he insisted as you both walked into the club but unlike before, a lot of people from the Capitol were in the lounge instead of the dancefloor, all of them looking at their phones and joking around.

“Birdie!” Kelsey rushed to you. “Hey, do you mind coming to the bathroom with me?”

“Told you—I fucking told you man!” One of Lucas’s coworkers slapped another guy’s arm. “You owe me ten bucks.”

“What’s going on?” you asked Kelsey while Lucas made his way to his friends and Caleb approached you.

“Okay, whatever you’re feeling, trust me I feel worse,” he muttered, making your frown deepen.

“What?” you asked him and he exchanged glances with Kelsey before he handed you his phone with a sigh.

It was one of the gossip accounts, with Bucky and Vivien’s picture in front of what you assumed to be her place. If it were anyone else it could’ve been a normal picture; they weren’t even standing close but of course to anyone who read the caption, it was anything but friendly.

Fuck. This. Shit.

“The prom king and queen of the Capitol, Jesus Christ,” Lucas commented while you gawked at the screen, barely paying attention to the chatter.

“Don’t you guys hate it when pretty people date pretty people?”

“I was gonna call them JFK and Jackie but then I remembered he fucking offed the guy—”

“Who’s a power couple in politics?”

“Dude, you work in politics!”

You gritted your teeth, trying your hardest to keep your expression under control before you grabbed Kelsey’s drink to down it, then approached the table.

“Hey, is there any left of those gummies?”

Josh scrambled to take out the small pack from his pocket and you offered him a smile, then popped a gummy in your mouth and downed the rest of Kelsey’s drink.

“Uh oh,” Caleb muttered. “You know what? I’m gonna call Buck to um—” He looked around to see Lucas’s team listening to him. “To ask him what he wants to do with PR.”

“Birdie?” Kelsey said and you turned to her while Caleb took his phone to his ear and stepped outside.

“Hm?”

“You okay honey? I thought we were doing sober night tonight.”

“Oh I’m great!” you exclaimed and pointed at the bar. “I’m gonna go get another drink, want anything?”

---

Jesus Christ, you were drunk.

And high.

And trying to climb Bucky’s fence.

So all those three things combined made it even harder to be subtle. Maybe you should’ve climbed more trees when you were a child instead of your father making you study philosophy and world history as well as politics.

You could recite the whole text of Machiavelli’s Prince when you were 8, but you couldn’t spend more than an hour in the nature.

“Fuck—just—” You held onto the top of the fence while trying to get the cuff of your jeans from where it was stuck. “Get the fuck—”

“Baby, what are you doing?” Bucky’s voice made your head whip around and you gawked at him, a smile lighting up your face.

“Bucky! Hi!”

“Just…” He ran a hand over his face as he made his way to you. “Don’t mov—”

Before he could finish his sentence, you slipped off the fence and Bucky lunged to catch you mid-air. You let out a giggle.

“Great reflexes Sergeant,” you teased him as he gently put you down.

“I need to get a door here,” he mumbled while you batted your lashes at him.

“You’re so pretty.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Um—no,” you said but your swaying made it less convincing than you meant it to. He heaved a sigh and helped you into the house, and you gasped when you saw Alpine rushing to the hallway.

“Alpine!” you exclaimed, your voice high pitched enough to break a glass if you were an opera singer. Bucky winced for a moment, opening his mouth a little and rubbing the spot near his ear as if he was trying to get rid of the ringing while you ran to Alpine to pick her up.

“Hi my beautiful cute precious little princess!” you squealed, pressing kisses on her little head. “Do you know how cute you are? Do you?”

“Mrow?”

“Do you want a princess costume?” you asked her. “I’m gonna get you a princess costume, and then—then like, a mermaid costume because I saw one on the internet—why do you not have your own social media? We should get Caleb look into that!”

“Birdie, sweetheart…”

Alpine held onto your top as if she was bowing to the inevitable while you buried your face into her fur.

“Your father is terrible with social media, but we need to get you your own page and stuff, that’d be fun!”

Bucky came to take Alpine from you and put her down, making you pout.

“Do you think…what do you think Alpine thinks about me?” you asked him while he pulled you under the light, holding your chin between his thumb and pointer to lift your head.

“Darling, look up for me.”

You winced. “Too bright.”

“You didn’t hit your head before I caught you?” he asked and you shook your head. “You sure?”

“Uh huh.”

“What did you drink?”

“Just a couple of cocktails,” you said and giggled. “And a gummy!”

“Candy doesn’t make you drunk, Birdie.”

“No like, it was an edible.”

Bucky raised his brows. “So you’re drunk and high?”

“Barely drunk and barely high.” You waved a hand in the air and he shook his head slightly, pursing his lips.

“Great.”

You made a face when nausea hit you again. “I threw up twice before coming here but if I do throw up, promise me you’re gonna stay outside the bathroom.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s gross and you’re gonna get grossed out and then you’re never gonna want to fuck me again—where are we going?”

“You are going to bed and I’m getting you a glass of water,” he said as he led you to the bedroom and helped you into the bed. You frowned at the ceiling.

“Your ceiling is spinning.”

“That’s just you, Birdie.”

“Can you ask Alpine what she thinks of me?” you mumbled into the pillow and he bit back a smile.

“Mm hm. Wait here, I’ll bring you some water.”

“Mkay,” you murmured, pulling the pillow to yourself as he left the room, and took a deep breath to inhale his cologne on the pillow before you closed your eyes, sleep creeping up on you.

---

You had no idea how much you slept, but when you woke up your head was pounding, you were groggy and tired and in a terrible, terrible mood. A groan left your lips and you tried to get enough saliva in your mouth to swallow, making a face. Bucky, who was probably in the living room now, had made you drink water last night but apparently that wasn’t enough to get rid of your double hangover, so you forced yourself to get out of the bed and stumbled your way to his bathroom, grimacing at your reflection.

You looked like a total mess.

It took you some time to make yourself look presentable but by the time you left the bathroom, you looked considerably better so you made your way to the kitchen where Bucky was talking on the phone.

“No, that’s not what—it’s just a gossip account, I don’t even know why those things exist in the first place!”

Ah.

He looked over his shoulder when he heard you and licked his lips.

“I’ll call you later man,” he muttered and hung up to put the phone on the kitchen island, making you shift in your spot.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Right.

Okay then, not only were you in a terrible mood, but also things were going to be very tense and weird.

You jerked your head at the phone, trying to play it cool. “Sam?”

“Yeah,” he said after a beat. “He…he saw that stupid post.”

You nibbled on your lip and offered him a weak smile. “Ah.”

“I made coffee if you want?” He motioned at the coffee machine and you sat down on the stool.

“I’d like a cup, thanks.”

He filled you a cup and put it in front of you, and you held the cup between your hands, your palms getting warm immediately. You tapped your fingernails on the ceramic, both of you in complete silence as if—

As if you were waiting for the storm but neither of you wanted to be the one to start it.

But Bucky did, after a full minute of complete quiet.

“How was your night?”

As subtle as a brick through window, that one.

“It was good,” you muttered. “Yours?”

“Good.”

The pounding in your head was getting even worse and you ran a hand over your face before you took a sip.

“I didn’t know I’m not gonna get drunk meant I’m gonna get high.”

 You could swear you could hear the electricity crackling in the kitchen, but you forced yourself to focus and put the mug down, shrugging your shoulders.

“Someone brought gummies,” you said. “It was a party.”

Bucky blinked a couple of times.

“Wait, someone? Not even someone you know?” he asked. “You took an edible from someone you don’t know?”

“Not a stranger, he’s Lucas’s friend.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath as if he was reminding himself to keep it together.

“Birdie, I’m really trying here,” he said, his voice calm as your head shot up. “I thought we agreed—”

“You’re—” you cut him off, gawking at him. “You’re trying?”

Calm down.

Calm the fuck down.

You’re hangover, and you’re angry at the situation, not him.

Bucky paused for a moment like he was taken aback by your reaction and a curt laugh escaped your mouth before you clenched your teeth, pushed the stool back and stood up.

“You know what, it was um…” Your voice was shaky with how badly you were trying to stay calm and collected. “It was a mistake to come here, I’m just gonna go.”

“What?” Bucky asked, confusion pinching his brows. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m hangover, we’re both angry and this is a bad idea, so I should just—”

“I’m not angry.”

“Cut the bullshit Bucky, you’re furious,” you snapped and he huffed out a bitter chuckle, his eyes sharpening as he ran a hand over his jaw.

“Well I’m not very thrilled that my girlfriend got drunk and high at a club now that you mention it.”

“No?” you taunted him. “You rushed off to save the damsel in distress and got photographed doing so, do I look thrilled from where you’re standing?” 

“For the millionth time, it’s just some gossip page!” he snapped. “Who cares?”

“I care when my boyfriend drops everything to go pick up the woman who, I quote, wants to wine and dine him.”

“She could’ve been in danger! What was I supposed to do, say no?”

“There are like one thousand security guards in that place, yes you were supposed to say no!”

“Like you said no to that party?” he asked back coldly. “Does that prick even know you’re in a relationship?”

“Bucky, you know I can’t!”

“You don’t have to tell him it’s me,” he insisted. “Did you even imply that you’re not single or is he still hoping—”

“Why are you acting like keeping this a secret is my choice?”

He gave you an incredulous look. “I mean it sure as hell is not my choice.”

“You think this is easy for me?” you asked. “You think it’s fun pretending like everything is fine when she’s flirting with you in front of me, when the whole Capitol was giggling about how much of a power couple you two made last night, when—” You pointed at the door, your voice rising with each word, “When my own fucking mother was talking about just how good you looked together, you think I’m having fun?”

“She what?”

“And hey, you get to treat Lucas like shit,” you said with a humorless laugh. “Which is fine, do whatever you want, but do you know what would happen if I pulled half of the shit you pulled in public? Two options; I get branded as the unprofessional naïve idiot who has a schoolgirl crush on you, or I’m fucking my way to the top. Do you realize how humiliating it is?”

“I—”

“So my only option when she is flirting with you is to stand there like a—like a goddamn office ornament, like an accessory, which by the way, brings back the memories—” Your voice cracked and you huffed out a chuckle, blinking back the tears. “And you’re fucking trying?”

A look of realization dawned on his face. “Birdie…”

“I fucked up, got high and drunk.” You shrugged your shoulders. “Caleb and Kels were there, nothing could ever happen and you know that very well. But don’t fucking pretend like we’re on equal ground here because ever since I met you, I have been listening to the whole country telling me about how good of a couple you make with other women, and although the names of those women keep changing, one thing stays the same; it’s never my name. How’s that for trying?”

A silence fell upon the room and you sniffled, then wiped at your eyes with more force than necessary.

“I can’t, I…” You trailed off, your head still pounding and before you’d had the chance to stop yourself, the words had already left your lips. “I think we need some time.”

That made his head whip up, pure panic flashing in his eyes.

“Wha—Birdie, no.” He shook his head frantically and took a step towards you, his throat bobbing. “No no no, let’s—baby, let’s talk about it, okay?”

“We don’t talk about it though,” you told him with a bitter smile. “Not really. We just fuck it out of our system until the same problem arises, and it keeps happening, and we keep not addressing it.”

His breathing was fast but he kept completely quiet as if you could disappear from his reach at the wrong word, his gaze locked on you as you licked your lips.

“We’ve bent it as far as it goes, Buck,” you rasped out. “Any more and it’ll break.”

He pulled back a little, his eyes growing distant as he pulled his gaze off of you like he was still processing what was happening. It felt like someone was twisting a knife in your chest and you knew just how you were going to start sobbing if you stayed there a moment longer so you took a step but then turned around, a hysterical laugh climbing your throat.

“I can’t even use the fucking front door…” you muttered and walked out of the kitchen, leaving him there frozen as you passed the hallway, and slammed the backdoor shut behind you.